#Zookeeper Chao

[abductedlawnchair]

*ranting and raving and stomping on rooftops and flailing my arms about* HUMANS ARE AMIMALS!!! WE ARE ANIMALS!!! QUIT ACTING LIKE WE'RE NOT!!!

I am so goddamn tired of society acting like we're not!!! I am so goddamn tired of us as a society acting like we are above all the other animals!!! I do not care that we are the apex!!! We are fucking ANIMALS!!! Like, just take a step back and observe us like we have our own nature documentary on Nat Geo or something. Maybe with David Attenborough or whatever, idc. Just imagine it.

We are a species of apes that just so happened to gain the ability of extremely complex and abstract thought, capability of language, an almost absurd level of self-awareness, and the type of intelligence that allowed us to discover, invent, and develop tools. A species of apes that just so happen to have such a crazy level of curiosity that we have the capability to learn about the world around us, and beyond.

The way we learn and develop is fascinating. If you observe a toddler from that standpoint, watching them interact with the world around them, you'd see how natural curiosity is to us, in our human nature. Neil deGrasse Tyson has literally said that children are beings of chaos because they're curious and learning about the world around them.

We all have children in us, just like we have our ancestors in us!!! Our brains are wired like theirs. Relatively, we have been in this state of society for an extremely short amount of time!! Our brains and nervous systems are still wired to survive and keep us safe from predators and other dangers!!

We are social creatures!! We need love and connection to survive!! We can't do things on our own. The only reason we ever got to where we are is because we work together and communicate and share knowledge. The way society is right now is too isolating!! Humans aren't meant to be fighting for a place in society!! Haven't you seen zookeepers?? Or anyone who cares for nature in any capacity?? We have an incredible capacity for compassion and caretaking, because we have the capability to know and understand the inner workings of ourselves and countless other species!! Caretaking and compassion is literally an innate human trait!! We're supposed to take care of each other and the world around us!! We literally are capable of pack bonding with ROOMBAS, for fucks sake!! Little robots that our ape brains see moving around on its own, being part of our homes, and thinks "little guy is alive... I love him"!!! Isn't that beautiful???

We were an evolution of Mother Earth, Herself, to grow Her and expand Her and care for Her!!! Whether you believe in intelligent design or just the absurdity of it all, it still happened like that. We have the capacity to care for Her in an evolved level, yet we're fucking it up so badly right now.

Indigenous cultures have always been on the right track. They've always been right about this. They have always known that we are all pieces of the same organism, just like the atoms and cells and organs and electricity in your body are all part of one body!!

And btw, culture is another HUGE part of us being social creatures!! Being expressive and creative and connected!! That's part of our nature!! We're meant to sing and dance and laugh together!! That connectivity of us being a collective is So Important!!! Making fun of people for being "sheep", or having "herd mentality" every single time is so stupid because yes!!! Yes that's EXACTLY how we are supposed to be!!! We are social creatures, remember?? The whole point is that we do things together!!!

I know how society is rn isn't the end all, be all, but it just breaks my heart that this Capitalism shit goes against some of the most beautiful parts of humanity!! We are animals!!! We are cute and curious and compassionate and social and we need warmth and sunlight and sustenance from the earth and water and sleep and shelter from the elements!! We have instincts just like everything else!! We came from the dust and we will return to the dust because we will always be part of the Earth, just like all the other animals!! And somehow, despite all odds, despite how robotic Capitalism wants us to be, our human nature seeps into everything.

Take care of yourself! You are an animal, after all! <3

*climbs off rooftop... for now*

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Prompt-ober 2023: Captivity and napping together

The terrified screams of small children were never the sign of a good start to the day, Ron thought to himself. But then again, he couldn’t blame them. The blood-soaked muzzle and paws of the albino tiger looming through the enclosure’s viewing glass were the stuff of nightmares.

The half-flayed corpse of Lucius the white peacock hanging from the tiger’s mouth didn’t help matters.

(Good riddance to that pretentious jerk of a bird, Ron thought.)

He sighed and started herding the children away, making insincere comforting sounds and quietly radioing for assistance.

Voldemort had claimed another victim.

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“Ooo, my sweet kitty baby, don’t worry, I’m not mad at you~” Voldemort’s dedicated keeper, Bellatrix, crooned at the albino tiger as she pressed against the thick glass barrier chest-first. Voldemort flicked his tail disinterestedly and continued ignoring the chaos he had caused.

If Hermione were asked, she’d say the tiger looked particularly self-satisfied. Perhaps even a little smug. She couldn’t blame him – she’d never really liked that peacock, either.

“Have we figured out how the other animals are getting in?” she asked.

Ron shook his head with a flummoxed look. “No. And there’s no sign of Voldemort getting out and snatching them. It’s like they’re drawn in – like black magic. They just wander in to get eaten.”

“Let’s keep the supernatural out of it, Mr. Weasley,” Minerva McGonagall, the senior big cat keeper, said. “We’ll simply have to check all around the outside of the enclosure for any potential points of ingress again.”

“Might I suggest we remove the common denominator in all of these incidents?” Albus Dumbledore said, adding, “We need to think of the greater good, after all.” 

“Director Dumbledore, may I remind you our purpose is conservation, not euthanization – especially of critically endangered species,” Minerva said exasperatedly. The man had had a chip on his shoulder for that tiger ever since its behaviour began to directly contradict his years of research with other tigers.

“You even think of touching my Lord and you’ll wish you died like that glorified chicken did,” Bellatrix growled, glaring blackly at the ageing researcher.

Hermione might not like the other woman, but she could still admit that sometimes Bellatrix had the right of things. With the threat – not calling the tiger her Lord. That was weird. 

She joined the others in side-eyeing the director as he left in a huff.

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Ginny had to admit, this wasn’t what she’d hoped to be doing when she applied to be a zookeeper. But at least she was still working at the zoo; and maybe they’d promote her from being a guide. …Eventually.

“Hey, isn’t that a cat?” one of the kids shouted, pointing into the tiger enclosure.

She sighed internally before pasting on a plastic smile. “Yes, tigers are a species of cat–“

The kid interrupted, saying, “No, I mean the black cat.”

What.

She turned slowly, hoping against hope she wasn’t going to find that Voldemort had somehow become a panther. But no. There, sitting in the centre of the tiger habitat, licking itself, was a longhaired black house cat.

They were going to have another scandal on their hands from impressionable children seeing a cat ripped to shreds by their mass-murdering tiger, weren’t they?

And speak of the devil: Voldemort materialised from the dense vegetation to spring at the unsuspecting cat.

Unable to look away, Ginny stared in horror as Voldemort got closer, closer, and was upon the cat, which finally decided to move. The black cat bounced away from the massive predator before turning to face him, back arched and tail fur standing on end, hissing and spitting. Voldemort growled in response, crouching down, prepared to attack.

In a bout of suicidal confidence, the black cat smacked Voldemort on the nose with its paw and continued to hold its ground, puffing up and staring the hulking tiger down.

And unexpectedly – miraculously – Voldemort relented. He rumbled and play-swatted at the cat, which rolled onto its back and enthusiastically batted at the paw that was almost larger than its entire body. Voldemort watched on in bemusement, occasionally shoving the black cat over to rile it up.

Her jaw must have been brushing the ground from how far it had fallen open. The children were shrieking in amusement while their chaperones looked worriedly between the two cats and their guide, but she couldn’t manage to pull herself together for several moments.

Speaking into her radio, Ginny said, “Uh. I’m gonna need someone to come down to the tiger enclosure. We’ve got a situation…”

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“How did that ickle bitty kitty get in there?!” Bellatrix pouted. No one should be closer to her Lord than her.

“How do any of the animals get in there?” Hermione asked rhetorically.

“I’m telling you, that tiger is secretly a wizard–”

“Ronald, do shut up.”

“Perhaps now is the time to discuss–” Dumbledore began.

“For the last time, Albus, we’re not killing Voldemort!” Minerva shouted. “Go bother Gellert and his arachnids if you’re not going to contribute anything helpful.”

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No one could get close enough to the black cat to retrieve it or lure it out, and no one wanted to go through the bother of sedating Voldemort if they didn’t absolutely have to, so the cat – dubbed Harry for the odd, tufted texture of his fur – became a permanent resident.

Each member of the zoo's staff celebrated when the mortality rate of the other animals dipped sharply after Harry's arrival. The little black cat was seen as a hero, despite no one understanding how his presence managed to convince the rest of the zoo's animals to stop visiting Voldemort’s territory and dying messily.

From then on, every so often, Voldemort would be found lying out in the open, staring down any observers, as Harry curled up in the curve of the tiger’s body and napped.

[hinacu-arts]

Have i mentioned i have a serious chaos au where they're zookeepers?

[slocumjoe]

Fallout 4 Companions reactions to Sole taking them to a zoo?

I had to Google "what stuff can you do in zoos" because I've never been to one lol. this is based on the San Diego zoo

Companions at the Zoo

Cait; Goes with X6 and Nick. Huffs with X6 like a pair of moody teenagers. She doesn't enjoy...kid spaces, for lack of a better word, and to Cait, a zoo is a kid space. Very tense for most of it, especially if its crowded. She's gonna enjoy the food than anything else. If there's an Auntie Anne's, that's gonna be her favorite part. The only animals she's likely to take much interest in are the big cats. Eventually, the beauty of the botanical gardens melts her guard down and she has more fun, thinks the aviaries were cool.

Codsworth; Calmly and quietly picking up after litterers, though he makes a note of their appearance to report them. Especially if they litter into the exhibits/habitats. Otherwise, spends a good amount of time at the penguins and capybaras. For activities, goes to presentations and expert talks, especially the ones with demonstrations. Takes so many photos, if permitted. Shoves sweets at Danse to distract him from people littering. Terrified that someone is going to start a fight over it.

Curie; Goes with MacCready and Piper. Any and all garden tours get her attention, loves them all. Will likely befriend the zookeepers and will be mistaken for one by other guests, due to her own wealth of knowledge on animals and plants. Can be found kneeling and explaining things to children wherever she goes. Mac and Piper's kids never have a questioned that isn't answered. Definitely spends some time in the gift shops, gets a bunch of stuff for the others. Her favorite animal...she loves them all, but red pandas are just...so cute...

Danse; if this man is not in a combat zone, he's uncomfortable. This, though...it interests him enough to kind of crack that shell. Attends talks/presentations with Codsworth and Preston. He's taking it as an opportunity to learn, rather than just a fun day out. If someone litters, he's saying something. His sense of justice and morality outweighs his introversion. Codsy and Preston work out a system to keep this from happening, as it's deeply embarrassing for the both of them. Has a soft spot for the servals. Would love the hands-on activities where you can pet the animals.

Deacon; First stop is the gift shop, gets every kind of zoo-branded clothing, redresses in the bathroom. Emerges clad in merchandise propaganda. Redresses multiple times through the day. Will spend his day causing varying degrees of chaos. Does shit like standing by tiger exhibits with his hand low and open, then looks down at it, and gasps, "Annie? Annie, where- ANNIE!" and takes off running. Most likely to get kicked out. Honestly, deserved. Enjoys the bird exhibits, especially the vultures. Weird looking things. Can be identified by the comically large slurpee in his hand.

Gage; Reptile and creepy-crawly exhibits, obviously. Could spend all day just watching the iguanas and komodo dragons. He runs the risk of your average creepy-crawly fan—a rowdy little boy with no filter—asking about the eye patch, so he gets out of there when he notices that he's getting looks and whispered about. Instead, gets most of his entertainment people-watching as he follows Deacon around, curious to see what shit he gets up to. Updates Nick on if he got arrested yet or not. Enjoys himself, likes wandering and sight-seeing, but if asked, will only recount the shit Deacon did.

Hancock; Will stay at the aquarium for a bit and zone out. Watching fish is very zen, mesmerizing. Wanders off to do his own thing. Also would dig the botanical garden tours. Probably has the most normal experience, just wandering around looking at stuff, no real thoughts or information being processed. Likes the sealife exhibits more then the others, admires seals for doing nothing but being fat, sunbathing, and screaming. That's the dream, right there. Goes around sampling from food stands, tries a bit of everything.

MacCready; Duncan's coming, no exception. They tag along with Piper. MacCready is most likely to eat too much and get sick. When he isn't eating ice cream or throwing up, carries Duncan on his shoulders and pointing out the hiding animals. His favorite would be the aerial tours, but enjoyed taking the kids to the playgrounds too. He and Duncan also liked the Down Under exhibit in general, really into the kookaburras. Indulges in the gift shop, gets bashful when Curie insists she pay.

Nick; Trying to enjoy himself, but knows that he's inevitably going to have to bail Deacon out of a cop car. Every time his phone beeps, takes a deep sigh. Keeps Cait and X6 with him just to make sure they behave, them being the problem children. At least Deacon isn't, like, skittish. Prefers the gardens and nature exhibits to the animals, falls in love with the African jungle aviary. Periodically grabs Cait and X6 something to eat, knows that they're more food-motivated then fun-motivated. Aware that they're actually having a good time, but...well, both of them would rather die and admit to simple joy. Could be worse—could be stuck keeping Danse from going mall-cop on everyone.

Piper; Brings Nat, of course. Curies buys them all cat ear headbands and Piper seriously considers adding it to her normal wardrobe. Nat was interested exclusively in the rainforest, and that ended up being Piper's favorite part as well. So many pretty flowers! Also loved the Asian rainforest. Takes a lot of pictures and selfies with Nat. Makes a game for herself of sneaking pictures of the others when they run into each other. Plays "Where's Deacon" and has more fun doing that than anything else.

Preston; Also goes behind and picks up litter, except unlike Danse, won't say anything. Keeps Danse from causing a scene, pulls him away, picks up garbage while Codsworth distracts him. Aside from that, Preston is all about those goats, deer, et cetera. If it's got hooves, he's into it. Really into klipspringers. Attends specialist talks with Codsworth, prefers the more museum-like parts of the zoo. Collects pamphlets. Probably asked to take pictures by other guests, he has a very trustworthy aura. Puts way too much effort into taking good ones.

X6-88; Didn't want to come, was forced to. Boredly follows Nick, grumbles with Cait about how they're too old for this and it's stupid. Secretly ends up enjoying himself but God knows he wouldn't admit it. Spends the whole time snippy. Finds the tiger trail, lagoons, and the Hawaiian gardens genuinely beautiful and soothing. Really liked the turtles. Eats more sugar than MacCready and survives...until much later, when he throws up for, like, ten minutes back home. Curie buys him a panther plushie and puts little/kid-sized sunglasses on it. He adores it far more than he's comfortable with.

[starrylothcat]

15 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @metalatl 💕

Were you named after anyone?

->Nope! My middle name is my grandma’s name. But my first name isn’t in my family.

When was the last time you cried?

->A few days ago (work is stressful) 😭

Do you have kids?

->No, just cats 🐈‍⬛🐈

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

->YES ugh I’m too sarcastic for my own good sometimes.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

->How they treat other people, their sense of humor

What’s your eye color?

->Brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

->Both! I love a good scary movie, but I’m also a sucker for happy endings.

Any special talents?

->It’s more of an annoying talent - I love pointing out all the invasive animals and plants on hikes LOL

Where were you born?

->California 🌞

What are your hobbies?

->Baking, writing, hiking, gaming

Have any pets?

->Two cats 💕

What sports do/ have you played?

->I played soccer, basketball and did dance as a kid. I don’t play sports now, I’m not really a sports person. 😅

How tall are you?

->5’4 I’m short

Favorite subject at school?

->Art and history, which is funny bc I ended up with a science degree 🤷🏻‍♀️👩‍🔬

Dream job?

->I’d love to be a zookeeper one day! 🐼

NPT: @snippy-tano @techs-stitches @anxiouspineapple99 @pb-jellybeans @toomanybandstocare @littlemissmanga @notthatfanfictionwriter @chicknstripz @happy-beeeps @starboytech @starqueensthings @king-chaos-world @deejadabbles @blueink-bluesoul and anyone else!

[practically-an-x-man]

Oc ask :3! Your characters are tasked with hiding a draft horse in a zoo of otherwise exotic animals. The horse is calm and cool with pretty much anything being done to it, but it has to stay hidden without getting caught by park staff or visitors for 24 hours. Bonus points for who questions why they're hiding a horse, and who does it immediately without question.

Ooooh very interesting!!! This is really creative, let's see what I can come up with!

Rae: Decides to hide the horse in plain sight. She gives it its own enclosure, brushes its fur a bit, then comes up with a placard that makes it look seem more interesting than it is - she even takes her knowledge of languages to provide translations and anecdotes in various languages, passing the horse off as some kind of incredibly rare, near-extinct breed of wild horse found somewhere in the American plains. She herself finds a zookeeper's uniform and makes a show of keeping the enclosure in order to keep the rest of the staff away.

Robin: You said it's a draft horse? Well, she'll hide in plain sight too, but not quite the way Rae does it. She turns it into a gimmick - throws on a historical-ish blue dress and saddles up the horse, then rides around the zoo offering a "Disney princess meet & greet". The zoo staff doesn't remember agreeing to hire a Merida impersonator, but it's so entertaining to the guests that they just decide to go along with it.

Madison: Just keeps moving, keeping the horse hidden wherever there's enough room for it and moving on when there get to be too many guests or staff. Once, there get to be too many people before she can move the horse again, so she camouflages herself and opens half the doors in the aviary, and the resulting chaos of birds is enough to divert attention for her to move the horse again.

Ophelia: There are a lot of trucks behind some of the larger exhibits, used to move the animals' food, water, or other resources around. She essentially builds a "shell" of one of these trucks - it can't drive, but it looks fundamentally the same from the outside and has a large enough space for the horse inside - and parks it with the others, then just waits with the horse and offers it food and water throughout the day.

Jasper: Finds an exhibit currently closed for construction, and manages to find a way inside. If there are any actual zoo staff or construction workers inside, they'll manipulate their emotions to make them feel tired (so they'll call off work, or move to an easier task), but otherwise they're free to just wander around the empty exhibit with the horse until their time's up.

Kestrel: Doesn't exactly hide the horse, just creates a bigger problem for people to deal with. They stash the horse wherever they can find, then fly across the zoo and shapeshift into some large, dangerous-looking animal (like a tiger or a rhino) and wander around. Obviously they don't attack anybody or cause any major damage, but it results in all the guests being evacuated and all the zoo staff diverted to taking care of this supposed "escaped" animal.

Katherine: Uses magic to cast some sort of illusion over the horse, then places it in the enclosure that will cause it the least harm (probably among some sort of bovine, or any herbivore with a good large habitat)

Quinn: Bribes one of the workers to close off one of the animal houses for the day (let's say the aviary, they're usually air-conditioned and not as smelly as some of the others, though it's a little loud in there), and just hangs there. No need for complex plans, especially since it's enough work just leading the horse inside when they have to also lean on their crutches.

Eris: Doesn't really bother hiding the horse - I mean, he finds a hiding place somewhere, but doesn't worry about it lasting the whole day. Instead they just wait with the horse until it's discovered and argue with the staff worker who says they're not supposed to be there, which then turns into such a full-scale, confusing debate that by the end of it the staff member isn't even sure if the horse was supposed to be there or not. Eris is... well, very good at arguments.

Nikoletta: Finds a large, somewhat shadowy building somewhere on the zoo premises - maybe some far corner of the bat cave, it's smelly as all hell but good and dark - and manipulates the shadows to hide the horse (and herself) completely from sight. If anyone turns the lights on, the jig is up, but who turns the lights on in the bat cave?

[anueutsuhos-touhou-profiles]

Doremy Sweet:

Doremy Sweet is the Ruler of the Dream World. She's a baku: a tapir-like youkai that eats dreams, but she tries to be nice and mostly eats the nightmares.

What is the Dream World, you may ask? It's the dimension in which everyone lives in when they're dreaming. The dreams of everyone in the world are as interconnected as the real world is. The you that’s in all your dreams can be considered their own person, almost identical to you except completely untethered by social norms and public appearances. An exaggeration of your true self, if you will. 

Those pink blobs she has are dream souls she's preparing to eat, by the way.

That book of hers is a record of every dream anyone has ever had. How does she see everyone's dreams? She can copy herself indefinitely and see everything that goes on in the Dream World.

That said, she's a baku, not a god. She doesn't have complete control over the Dream World or anything. She herself likens her role to a zookeeper: she can keep all the animals fed and in their cages, but she can't create new animals from scratch or mold preexisting ones to her whim.

Indeed, she might be lying that she has any real power. After all, she's just a dream, and baku were never known to be among the most powerful youkai anyway.

Doremy first appeared as the 3rd boss of Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom. When the protagonist traveled through the Dream World in order to reach the Lunar Capital, she confronted them, thinking they were having a nightmare, only to be defeated. It turns out the Lunarians had hired her to create an identical Lunar Capital in the Dream World they would hide out in until the invasion was successful. However, Doremy is no henchwoman, and she hated being bossed around. She sent the impure protagonist to the real Lunar Capital as a bit of revenge. She returns as the Extra stage miniboss when the protagonist returns to the Dream World.

In the book Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia, Doremy puts up an advertisement for a "Sweet Sleep Pillow" that she developed. Apparently shortly after buying one and using them, people tended to see Doremy in their dreams, asking them what they thought of the pillow, rating it on a scale of 1-10, that sort of thing. People showed a sketch of the woman they saw, which was a reference to the "Ever Dream This Man?" viral marketing campaign to a movie that got cancelled. If you're wondering, the pillows were indeed very popular, they're nice and comfy.

She then made a MAJOR reappearance in Touhou 15.5: Antinomy of Common Flowers. It turns out that the Dream World counterparts of many people in Gensokyo have somehow escaped into the real world as a side effect of the incident, and Doremy is trying to resolve this. She ends up taking a special interest in Sumireko's unique predicament of coming to Gensokyo in her dreams. I might need to explain this more later!

Following Antinomy of Common Flowers, she appeared in another major role in Touhou 16.5: Violet Detector. Here, she tries to persuade the Dream World Sumireko Usami to remain in the Dream World and stop wreaking havok.

It doesn't seem like she'll appear much after this, though, as the Dream World is no longer a major story point.

Doremy is suprisingly polite compared to the rest of the cast, always introducing herself with "I am Doremy Sweet, the ruler of dreams. A pleasure to meet you." She acts very relaxed at almost all times, and doesn't appear to care much about the chaos going on in Gensokyo. In general she seems apathetic whenever anyone has problems around her, or at least she never outwardly shows concern. The only times she truly loses her cool are when her Dream World is violated. She's very knowledgeable about the Dream World and so does a great deal of exposition dumping throughout her dialogue.

She doesn't believe that the Dream World counterparts are really any different from their Real World selves, comparing it to Zhuangzhi's whole "Am I a man dreaming I'm a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?"

As you might expect from the ruler of dreams, Doremy has some pretty wonky attacks. Her most mundane attacks use lots of dark purple and blue shots. Her spellcards tend to be named after colors, like "Scarlet Nightmare", "Indigo Dream of Anxiety" and "Ochre Confusion". In the Extra stage, she has an attack called "Super Express "Dream Express"" where she shoots a rainbow of bullets at you. Of course, then there's the weird attacks. She can shoot her dream souls at you and then suck them up with a vacuum cleaner, she can throw entire beds at you, she can blow a trumpet very loudly in your ear, she can even throw sheep at you! She also can shoot large orbs of darkness and open up portals to the Dream World. Her ultimate attack even has her trapping her opponent in the Dream World and locking them away!

In Antinomy of Common Flowers, she demonstrates the ability to turn into... that thing. What do I call it? Apparently ZUN told the sprite artist to have her "turn into a sheep and fire sheep bullets" but they got very creative. The attack is called "Sheep Sign: Nightmare of Chimera". She fires sheep missiles and then explodes into robot parts.

Doremy Sweet is named after two cable cars in Nara, Japan, named Do-Re-Mi and Sweet, respectively. Her name is actually written Doremy•Sweet in Japanese, to suggest her name actually is in English.

Oh, and while her hair may appear short, it's actually incredibly long: it's all stuck in that nightcap of hers.

[rhysintherain]

Your top 5 (idk if it can even count as top) underrated movies/pieces of media

Gonna go with media in general because movies aren't my thing, but mostly movies (in no particular order):

1. Primeval (UK TV series). can't get better than early 2000's CGI dinosaurs running around Britain chased by a zookeeper, an evolutionary biologist, and a nerd who really loves dinosaurs. Bonus points for a villain with wildly different motivations each season but it's the same villain.

2. Red (Bruce Willis Movie). And the sequel, obviously. What happens when spies retire? Chaos, obviously. Nice of Hollywood to give older actors a chance to have fun instead of having to play serious, grown-up roles for a change.

3. Fern Gully (animated movie). Does this count? Do kids still watch it? I dunno, but it was definitely the thing that made me and all my friends into baby environmentalists.

4. The new-ish Jumanji movies. I know we all thought they were going to ruin Jumanji like they did everything else, but these were actually really fun movies. Whoever decided to have Jack Black play a highschool popular girl was a genius.

5. The Descent (horror movie). Everybody knows I love monster horror, and this one permanently impacted how I think. Caves and the ocean are great places to set a horror movie, because I can watch them without ever worrying about what will happen next time I go there (because I definitely won't, like ever).

[skywarpie]

Ok I love Dad!Copia, but I think there is so much potential for tiny Copia Daughter to torture her uncles. Like she sees Swiss smack Dew in the nuts when he says something mean to Rain, and the next time they’re in a full room and Uncle Secondo or Uncle Terzo says something mean to Copia in her earshot? BAM! Tiny fist right the the weenie. And she has no idea why everyone is laughing and wincing, and her Uncles aren’t gonna be mad at her because who could be mad at that little face? Just raw chaos. Endless late nights eating junk food because who is going to rat out former papas? Copias kid that’s who - immediately tells her dad, maybe even the ghoulettes (I just know Cumulus would fill mama bear this child). The Uncles lie about her age to get a discount at the zoo? She is telling the zookeeper immediately that she’s older. Just tiny Copia child/children torturing their uncles

Terzo def uses her to pick up partners like "Okay if you act super cute and innocent I will give you candy" but she isn't dumb and demands money instead and each time terzo says no she raises the price till finally he agrees.

"That's gonna be $50"

And finally he just caves.

Later when she's back with copia they go to like fuckin McDonald's or smth and she's like "don't worry it's own me" and pulls out the money and he's ???????

[yeehawbvby]

More Apple Spider lore that nobody asked for!!

- Her web shooters are organic!! Ignoring any physics etc. that might make it impossible for her to not be able to shoot through clothing uwu

- She grew fangs after getting bitten, but she grinds her teeth in her sleep, so they quickly became blunted again. She’s technically venomous but has no real way of implementing it

- Before moving full-time to the spidey HQ, she was an entomologist (studied and cared for bugs for a living) at the Central Park Zoo from her dimension. Rather than being a zookeeper she worked “behind the scenes” in a lab.

- One of her favorite little spiders was the one that wound up biting her and making her a spider woman. She forgave it, thinking it was cooler than it was scary, and snuck the lil fella out one day as a pet (so as to stop it from biting and mutating anybody else)

- Named the spider Pine (Pine + Apple………)

- Apple took up aerial silk classes after becoming a spider person because she wants to look cool and graceful and whatever with her webs. Surprisingly, it works

- This is still only a maybe, but I think she is from Earth-0609, because of fucking course she would be

- Btw she eventually does move to HQ permanently because she accidentally stopped her canon event (still TBD)

- She was brought into the spider society when this happened by Miguel. He was notified of her world collapsing and had already been observing her in secret as a possible recruit

- When he showed up, she was sitting on the roof to one of her favorite skyscrapers, eating falafel that she stole from her favorite food stand and crying while watching the chaos unfold around her lmao. She knew she couldn’t stop it so she just let it be

- Miguel was all “you need to come with me if you want to live querida” and Apple was all 😏 at him calling her that, but didn’t reveal yet that she speaks Spanish

- (He helped her stand up and she almost fell over because she’s tiny and he’s strong, so while still holding his hand Apple was like, “do you always sweep spider women off their feet or am I just special?” to which he was basically like “damn I should’ve let you die”)

- She’s a polyglot (well-versed/fluent in several languages) but hides it at first to try and get The Tea from Miguel/other various spiders to make her new home more entertaining and palletable

- Gets on well with Hobie because of the chaos she accidentally causes by being a hopeless flirt and a little shit. Gets on well with Peter B, Lyla and Jess even better because they love the playful bickering that they get to see when Apple and Miguel are in a room together

- Her suit, like Miguel’s, can fabricate itself on and off. It’s not a hologram exactly, though — think of it like Danny Fenton -> Phantom’s transformation. Like she presses a button on a bracelet or something, and her suit replaces her clothes

- Rather than being all pixelly etc., the suit looks like it’s someone peeling/unpeeling an apple, with a wavy/uneven cutoff at the edges when the suit is only partially on/off

- Gets chastised a bit because plenty of spider people think her big comfy scarf is inefficient

- Valid! Because it does get her stuck in certain spots she’d rather not be in, such as being yanked back by it or getting caught on things

- BUT Apple finds uses for it to spite them (I.e. ziplining with it, using it on citizens as a partial safety net while they’re falling, or a blanket in cold weather or whatev, stuff like that)

- Another reason Hobie likes and respects Apple is bc of her commitment to the goddamn scarf against all odds lmao

- Probably in her early-mid 30s but can be a bit childish at times

- AuDHD because of what somewhat-self-insert OC would she be if she wasn’t ND???

[chaotic-tired-cat]

AO3 is down, have a scene to fuel yourself in the meantime

summary: adult hero eldritch!Izuku vs. government sniper: FIGHT

World Walker spoilers below the cut. also tw for guns. all you need to know is that he’s baiting the hpsc for funsies and spite. uuuuh for new folks, take dimension travel and make it cosmic horror, thats Cryptid’s quirk. Cheers and i hope u enjoy!!

Takihiro really does not care much about heroes, but his best friend has a hyperfixation and therefore he must fuel it. This used to mean sending a video every time an underground hero walked down the sketchy alley his window looks over, so Shin could scream in a combination of capital letters and paragraphs. 

Takihiro may have set up his desk at the window so he'd notice passerbys for this exact reason. He may have gotten a better camera. He also may have ended up calling in enough petty robbery and assault to make him very distrustful of his neighborhood, with a side effect of attracting so many heroes to his alleyway. It's definitely a stop on their patrol routes. Now he just turns on a video call and listens to Shin experiencing serotonin like clockwork.

The infodumping he gets nightly is fantastic.

So when he sees movement, it's a habit to check for a familiar costume. He lets Shin know the nightly entertainment is happening and flips his camera. They were already on call studying anyway.

"That's Cryptid!" Shin yells in his ear, like it isn't Thursday on the Iidaten patrol route. It's either Mindblank or Cryptid, every time. Wednesday is a little more unpredictable- yesterday Zookeeper made judgmental faces at the dumpsters and swept the whole place with her cleaning quirk. It must have been a slow night.

Shin happily recites his internal Wikipedia page on Cryptid as Takihiro procrastinates finishing a paper. Outside, the hero has stopped to stare at the weirdly sterilized alley suspiciously. It's a good night.

"And that's only after the Chaos Crew merged with Iidaten," Shin is saying as Cryptid finally starts moving again. It's kind of funny. He's sticking to the shadows as if the dumpsters are about to jump him. "Since then, the core members have taken up leading positions. Uravity heads their rescue department and Mindblank heads the Undergrounds. I think Ingenium actually is their Daylight spokesperson while Cryptid is their Underground media person, so-"

A gun fires.

Cryptid stumbles.

Takihiro flinches violently back from the window, scattering pens and highlighters across his desk. He ducks and fumbles with the desk lamp until it turns off.

"Was that-"

"Yeah," Takihiro whispers, caught between retreating further into his apartment and staying to watch. He taps the record button on his laptop, grabs his phone, and is about to shuffle backwards when Cryptid reaches out and claws open the air in a wide swipe. A second later, the hero casually drops something into a small bag and seals it.

"The bullet," Shin whispers as Cryptid tucks the evidence bag into one of his regulation belt compartments.

"I was wondering," the hero calls as he searches for something amidst the tall buildings, "when they'd cross this line. Is a blood sample really worth this kind of risk?"

"Holy shit, he's about to monologue," Shin says. "Dude, go to your kitchen or something. He only does this when the villain can hear him. You don’t want to get caught up in some kind of long-range quirk."

"How does he know they're close, though?" Takihiro mutters as he switches speakers. 

"I bet he uses his portals to see. Are you safe?"

"I'm going, I'm going-"

Four more shots fire in quick succession. One visibly hits the wall behind the hero, shattering brick.

Cryptid hacks out a laugh. It's an awful sound. Tired and frustrated, like a wild animal that's bolted through a maze only to find itself cornered. Takihiro stays frozen as Cryptid bends forward with starlight bursting from the darkness around him. Limbs lengthen further, unseen wind buffets nebula-dusted hair, and the hero's spine curls. He tips his head back, straightening up again, but his posture is now decidedly unnatural. There is something wrong with his eyes.

There is something wrong with all of him, really.

"There are easier ways to buy blood," Cryptid says in a voice that physically shudders through the air. His head turns, the movement eerily smooth, and his face becomes visible.

Takihiro's breath freezes in his lungs as the most villainous hero he's ever seen stares down a sniper. Cool gold has begun to well up from the hollow places his eyes should be. Instead, there rests galaxies. Metallic light drips in a perfect line down each cheek and falls straight through the concrete below him.

Cryptid is the second-most villainous looking hero according to the HPSC’s official polls. He is only that far down because pushback against anti-mutation quirk feelings have made the poll itself unpopular, so the generation that grew up with Gang Orca vote more often.

Takihiro is now a little sure that the people who vote for Cryptid were maybe on to something.

"I am not made to die easy." Cryptid's voice has gone terribly gentle. "And neither are you. So why court a fate that does not suit you, friend?"

Brick shatters again under the force of a bullet that must've nearly clipped him. The hero didn't even flinch.

"You're afraid," Cryptid notes casually. Thick black sludge wells up between needle-sharp teeth, splattering to the ground in uneven clumps that do not match the tears. "I'm sorry if it's because of me. Hawks should have warned you - I told him not to get close if he wanted to kill me. Did your labs fail to make sense of what he took? Or is this hubris and greed the aftermath of success?"

"What the fuck," Shin says. Takihiro is a little preoccupied with the way Cryptid has begun to drool. sludge puddles outwards at his feet with twin lines of gold tears mixed in. The concentric circles ripping out are faintly hypnotic in that he is awefully aware of something alive down there that's trying to break past the pattern to get at them all.

Another bullet fires. It doesn't seem to impact anything.

"You're far too close, friend." Lips pull back to reveal sharpened teeth in a smile that dumps ice down Takihiro's spine. "The only thing you'd kill is my humanity. I'd rather not find out what the rest of me will do without that."

Cryptid pauses then.

Somehow, his expression turns unbearably sad.

"The hollow parts of me are not made of things that enjoy being controlled," he says to the rooftop. "It will linger. Go home to your plants and parents, friend. Live well in your borrowed time. And water your shiso before you both meet the earth too early."

"He did not just stop his own assassination with a bluff," Takihiro says.

He did.

Another last bullet fires, absorbed into the pattern at Cryptid’s feet.

It’s a cold night.

Pale yellow light catches the outline of the hero’s shoulders amidst shapeless blue shadows.

Cryptid stays in that alley, waiting, as he tracks movement beyond the window's sightline. He stays there until whatever he's watching has moved towards downtown.

Then he sighs.

Eerie posture reverts back into the wary stance he arrived with. The steady drop of gold and black halts, and the puddle dries up in seconds. Cryptid swipes the back of his hand over his mouth, then his other hand across his cheek. His grimace bares almost normal-sized teeth.

"I am on shift for thirty more minutes," the hero tells his smeared gloves. "Thirty minutes until I can put a dragon hatchling in Kacchan's desk, and have a different, more immediate problem to deal with."

Cryptid stares at his gloves.

"I should not do this," he says abruptly.

"You really should," Shin whispers. Cryptid's head snaps up, eyes immediately finding Takihiro's window.

He points. 

On instinct, Takihiro points back.

"Next time, don't stay by your window when there are villains around," the hero calls, still posed like some kind of Spiderman meme. Takihiro awkwardly stops mimicking Cryptid, because pointing is rude and this is a hero no matter how unhinged he may be. "Everything okay?"

Takihiro nods over the sound of Shin hyperventilating, and leans past his laptop. "Yeah, sorry about that. Hey, can I get an autograph?"

Shin squeaks.

"My friend is a fan."

[dearest-painter]

Y’all listen!! Zookeeper!Reader!!! All the spider-people are just animals.

Miguel(Lion or Panther)

Peter B(I honestly don’t know but some kind of dog fits)

I don’t know about everyone else. I just thought of this.

Anon…that be so much chaos do you understand how fucking scary that would be as well!?…I LOVE IT’

[thebiscuiteternal]

Would it be a good time for another idea roundup post?

It'll be a good distraction from stress, so sure:

I've been introduced to a manhwa called "The Crow's Prince", and god if it isn't perfectly ripe for a sangcheng AU. Featuring: Nie Huaisang: The modern-day zookeeper who winds up isekai'd into a crow in a strange fantasy land and becomes the animal companion of Jiang Cheng: The grouchy but well-meaning prince who is a late bloomer to the royal magic and has to face down a challenge for the throne from Wen Chao: The spoiled-brat prince who wants to be emperor just so he can make everyone do whatever he pleases. Gained his magic early, but isn't very impressive at it. Also featuring: Wei Wuxian as the grouchy prince's magician friend, who was the protagonist of the original game the fantasy world seems to be based on. I haven't figured out who would be the knight character yet, because no one in their gen really matches up.

Nie Mingjue as the poor bastard who recently went viral after discovering that workouts aren't considered foreplay for everyone and he's unwittingly had an exercise fetish his entire life.

New Headcanon: As funny as it is to think Jin Zixuan is a himbo about everything, I like to think he's actually pretty sharp about finances... mostly due to his continued state of horror at dear old dad's attempts to teach him him the "family business" of screwing everyone else over. He and his new half-brother can bond over the nightmare that is the sect's "banquets, bribes, and bumping off" expenditure account.

For the first three years after Nie Huaisang became sect leader, guard presence around him had to be tripled. Not because of monsters or assassins, though... no one was expecting his grief to be catnip for yanderes.

Comedy of lectures-age Wei Wuxian accidentally messing up an experiment to see into the future and catching a glimpse of either mid-revenge or post-canon Nie Huaisang. Lacking the context as to why Huaisang is Like That, he gets it in his head that he'll just have to keep Nie-xiong from "turning evil" by keeping track of him all the time! Much to the dismay of Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji, and Nie Huaisang himself, who is a little frightened by the sudden intensity and pretty sure that Lan Wangji will kill him if Wei Wuxian doesn't back off.

Jin Guangyao discovers that Nie Huaisang has been frequenting a brothel and becomes that sort of angry (because Nie Huaisang should know better) where trying to hide it starts making all his emotions kind of brittle and snappish... at least until he finds out why. Namely: Nie Huaisang isn't sleeping with the girls, he's been paying them to critique his work and/or supply new ideas.

[hinacu-arts]

Writing idea masterpost - DP x DC

Fav tropes (specifically: DoM tropes)

Danny & Billy dynamic

Doofenshmirtz AU

Ghost King Court AU

Haunted hotspots

Tik tok stitch

Movie night

Dani & Kon platonic soulmatch - timkon

Vlad sues Lex for plagiarism. Danny sues Lex and Superman for custody of Kon

Football tailgate

"Pit incubus"

Asexual repro = Zeus?

Prince Jason 1 / Prince Jason 2

Dead On Main

DoM cult ritual

DoM Wedding

DoM sleeping beauty

DoM R.I.P.D. AU

DoM Hades & Persephone

DoM spooky speed dating

DoM sex pollen

DoM college aus

DoM soulmates?!

"Spooky"

Serious Chaos

SC Student AU

SC Zookeeper AU

Eleanor

Missile launcher

Irritation-to-lovers

Get out of my city

Prompts

Fenton-Foley Protection Services

Amity is city-state

Wrong number

Batfam ghost cores

Boor

PTA wars

Jason the book review youtuber

Spacedace's QoC au designs

These two aus

[goldinthemtharhills]

Intro & List

Hello hello! I’m TheSunshineDragon on Ao3! I also occasionally write non-kpop works under WoodElfJedi and post High & Low fics under YukensHairtie. 

List of Works:

Stray Kids

Series:

Domestic Doses (Perpetually Incomplete, Platonic Fluff, Slice of Life, General Shenanigans)

The Wind Under Your Wings (Complete, Danceracha with Wings, Platonic, Wingfics, Sickfics, Hurt/Comfort)

I’ve Got An AU For That (Incomplete, AUs, Platonic Relationships, Little Bit of Everything)

Tell The Wolves I’m Home (Complete, Werewolf/Wolves AU, Platonic Pack Dynamics, Wolf!Minho, Angst, Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort)

Ash & Oak & Thorn (Incomplete, Magic AU, Platonic Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

Let Be What Is, And Be What Isn’t (Incomplete, AUs, Platonic HyunLix)

Yours & Mine (Incomplete, Platonic Soulmate AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection)

Chan the Zookeeper (Incomplete, Shifter AU, Humour/Crack, Hurt/Comfort, Wholesome Vibes Coming Your Way)

The Saga of Chan & His Dragon Menaces (Incomplete, Dragons, Humour/Crack, Magic, Fluff)

The Heart of a Summer Child Born in Spring (Complete, MCD, Terminal Illnesses, Magic AU, Hyunjin-centric, Two versions)

Non-seried Fics:

Threads (One-shot, Based on the I’ll Be Your Man Kingdom Stage, Heavy Angst, Grief/Mourning, Magic, Brotherhood)

Let’s All Die Naturally In A Healthy Way (One-shot, MinChan Fic Fest, Platonic Relationships, Androids, Post-Apocalyptic, Hurt/Comfort)

Broken Glass, Pieced Back (One-shot, Rated M, Platonic MinSung, Vampires, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump)

The Itsy-Bitsy Spider (Incomplete, Spiderverse AU, Hurt/Comfort, Angst)

Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fine (One-shot, Jisung-centric, Sea Monsters, Burn Out, Introspection)

You’re Not A Bet I Care To Take (But I’m Going To Anyways) (One-shot, Platonic ChanLix, Assassins & Hitmen AU, Angst, Found Family)

Attachments Have Consequences (One-shot, Spies & Secret Agents, Inspired by District Nine MV, Light Angst, Found Family)

Stabby Stabby (One-shot, Angst, Jeongin Being an Idiot, Hurt/Comfort) 

Ficlet Collection (2023) (Incomplete)

You May Be Idiots, But You’re My Idiots (Complete, Sickfic, Assassins & Hitmen AU, Minho is a Good Hyung)

The 100-Point Children (Complete, Based on a Tumblr Post, Adoption, Found Family, Hyung-line as Single Parents, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort)

An Objective Reply To A Subjective Question (One-shot, Minho & Seungmin-centric, Canon Compliant, Platonic Relationships, Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff)

I’ll Stand Until I Can’t (One-shot, Gang AU, Minho-centric, Miscommunications, Bang Chan Being an Idiot, Heavy Angst)

Into The Thick Of It (One-shot, Magic AU, Toddler!Jilix, Witch Minho, Fluff, Slight Crack)

Blooming Death In These Lungs (One-shot, Platonic Hanahaki, Angst, Minho-centric, Angst With A Happy Ending)

Drowning Without Water (Deadpool AU, MinChan, Platonic Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD)

SKZITZY

The Ferryman (One-shot, Vague Allegory for Death, AU, Grim Reapers, Kid Fic, Angst, Magic, Non-Linear Narrative)

To The Wind I Go (Incomplete, Magic AU, Wendigos, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Found Family, Winter VibesTM)

Money Can’t Buy Class (One-shot, Hyunjin/Yeji, College/University AU, Complicated Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending) 

NCT

Affectionate (One-shot, Doyoung & Taeyong are Best Friends, College/University AU, Emotional Support Best Friends)

Lord of the Rings

Tiny Legolas Causing Chaos ft. Thranduil The Tired Single Dad (Incomplete series, Family Fluff, Kid!Legolas)

Another Pillow Fight (One-shot, Slight Crack, Aragorn and Legolas being idiots)

The 68 Rules of Middle-earth (List-fic, Crack Treated Seriously)

Quit Snoring Already (Slight crack, Dwarves Causing Sleep Problems)

Transformers: Prime

Transformers Prime: Communications (Complete, Crack, slight OOC-ness)

The Field Medic & The Doctor (Complete, Grief/Mourning, PTSD)

Star Wars: Rebels

The Rebels Prank War (Incomplete, Prank Wars, Slight Crack, Humour)

Merlin

A Nice Thing To Have (One-shot, Fluff, Merlin Gets A Hug)

HTTYD

Cotton Candy Spun Clouds (One-shot, PTSD, Light Angst)

High & Low

We’re All A Little Fragile (One-shot, PTSD, Fluff, Light Angst)

Fireworks (One-shot, Fluff, Injuries, Light Angst)

Crashing Down (One-shot, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort)

Brother Bear (Little Bear Cub) (One-shot, Modern AU, Angst, Accidental Baby Acquisition) 

Crossovers

Don’t Shoot The Messenger [SVT x High & Low] (Gang AU, Child Abandonment, Mild Hurt/Comfort)

[desert-bluffs-and-me]

WTNV quick rundown - 95 - Zookeeper

Check my tags or this link for the other episodes etc that I've done!

Featuring the voice of Felicia Day as Joanna Rey.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a cursed talisman must be in want of a hex reversal. Welcome to Night Vale.

Cecil is visited by head zookeeper Joanna Rey who has brought in several animals for Cecil to see.

Joanna has brought in a chicken, which apparently somewhat resembles a raccoon. Cecil always assumed chickens were mythical because he'd never seen one. They have bright orange and yellow wings, dozens of spiny legs, antennae and are considered exotic animals (at least by Cecil).

She also brings brown tarantulas, which aren't as exciting to Cecil due to being 'common' but she says she has brought them because they are horribly undereducated as a species. The zoo has taught these ones to be sentient and to read and they are named Samantha, Jordy, Nash, Carmelo, Patrice, Garfield and Helen. Despite being able to read they are not able to communicate what they have learned.

Joanna also brings in piglets. Cecil names one Wobbles and another The Professor. There is also a steer (which has wings).

Joanna than transforms into a panther and consumes every animals she brought in except the tarantulas (who go and get jobs in human resources). She states that she is a shapeshifter and always takes the form of a big cat to eat because people are disturbed when she eats her meals in the form of a human.

Joanna has apparently also dated a dragon called Donna who had at least one gold and one green head and dumped her only after trying to ghost her for a good while.

Weather: "Coffee" by Sylvan Esso

Many citizens are complaining about all the five-headed dragons. Marjory Vallejo, manager of the Dollar Cinema says they take up a dozen seats each and obscure the view for others. Teddy Williams has cancelled league night because of the scratches in the lanes. Bob Sturm, vice president of the NV Auto Insurance Company says there has been an uptake in dragon related incidents and they will no longer be covering anyone who owns a car. Cecil suggests that everyone try their best to be friendly which involves pointing at the dragons and shouting "interloper!" and following them home asking invasive questions.

Old Woman Josie apparently has childern. One of which, her daughter Alondra, has returned to NV from ??? to take care of Josie due to Josie's aforementioned broken hip. Josie doesn't speak about her children very much likely because she is bitter they left her to live outside of the desert. She insists that she's fine because she lives with the angels but Alondra is keen to stay and take care of her mother. Cecil and Intern Kareem have a small disagreement about Cecil refusing to acknowledge the existence of angels and Cecil not believing how stubborn Kareem is about angels yet he wouldn't believe Cecil about Huntokar.

Josie also mentions that the StrexCorp Foundation supports not only the new old Opera House but her, several local arts groups, a library destruction fund and the charity 'Cars for Kids'.

According to Cecil, microphones are smarter than dolphins.

Many if not all roads are completely transparent today which is causing a lot of chaos.

Cecil states that his usual work outfit is a cummberbund and capri pants which apparently helps people understand that he is a journalist. However, he's dressed up a bit currently because it's Plastic Pancho Wednesday.

Stay tuned next, Night Vale, for the sound of scrubbing, followed by the sound of gagging, followed by the sound of liquid dribbling into a metal pan. And as always, good night, Night Vale. Good night.

Proverb: Wanna feel old? People born in 2014 have already graduated college, don't know what a trombone is, & are all named after gourds.