#a couple days back into the demon realm he gets up the nerve to find her and tell her its okay

[weirdly-enough]

anyway I think willow used to call hunter caleb sometimes the same way he calls her captain. she stops after halloween.

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers React to MC Getting Kidnapped by Lesser Demons.

Watch out for minor first half spoilers!!

Lucifer

Kicking himself because he has to find out through Mammon that the MC is missing and he didn’t notice their absence himself.

The second the alarm gets raised he gets into a state somewhere between coldly rational and extraordinarily furious. 

Definitely still level-headed enough to rally and organize his brothers for a search party but there's nothing but seething rage just rolling off of him the entire time. Probably-could-have-made-another-Satan type rage.

How well he keeps his composure will be based entirely on how long the MC is MIA. The first hour or so will be mostly put together but past that he'll start to slowly unravel as the panic takes hold.

At one point he even gets snippy with Diavolo over the phone and that's when you KNOW that he's reaching meltdown mode.

If he's the first to find the MC, his #1 priority is to get them away from whatever scum grabbed them and take them to the closest safe place he can find. He'd scoop them up so fast they won't even know where he came from, just whoosh! How'd I get on this roof??

Only once they're out of harm’s way will he circle back and deal with their kidnappers personally. You better be sure any damage done to his human will be reflected a thousandfold back onto their attackers. Probably coming back to the MC with some blood on him and is not going to care.

Relieved to have the MC back but restricts them from going out alone after a certain time now for their own good. If they need something that badly, they can come to him.

Also strings Mammon up by his toes that night for losing them in the first place.

"By the time Cerberus gets to you, I'll be sure you're only my table scraps…"

Mammon

The first to notice that the MC was being oddly quiet (thank their father for his text spamming habit) then found their stuff scattered and abandoned at RAD.

Told Lucifer right away and, oh boy, he is a mess: talking a mile a minute, punctuating his sentences with expletives, on the verge of tears, whole nine yards.

He left his human alone for what?? Like five minutes, if even, to go to the library and get themselves kidnapped?! What kind of guardian is he?!?

Already searching the place top-to-bottom without being told where to go or what to do.

He actually ends up a strange inverse of Lucifer. While Lucifer will start panicking more over time, Mammon will start panicking less as his fear escalates to all out anger. Give it a few hours and he’s not even going to be able to keep his demon form under control anymore.

You know this boy is legging it across the entire Devildom himself waving around some kind of hand-drawn "Have You Seen This Human?" flyer looking for any leads at all.

If he were to find the MC first, his first action would probably be to plant his foot right in the face of whoever took them. Hard. Then repeat until their skull’s a caved-in mess on floor. No mercy this time, just pure protective rage.

Following the fight, you'd think he was just reunited with his lost puppy. Lots of crying, hugging, and blubbering out apologies even when the rest of his brothers show up.

Would pretty much be glued to the MC's hip for at least a week afterward and makes more of a point to hang off of them in public now. They're his human after all, can't have anyone else getting the idea of pulling a stunt like that again.

"MC!! What'd ya go runnin' off for?? We're goin' home after I take out this trash, got it!!"

Leviathan 

Wouldn't really want to believe it at first because it just feels too unreal, like, the same thing happened to Henry in Episode 86 of TSL when he was kidnapped by enemies of the Lord of Fools and it was up to his true friend to track him down…

Suddenly remembers that Henry was also tortured while he was taken and that really sets in the panic.

Unsure of how to help at first because he knows he's just a useless shut-in but Belphie of all people is the one to remind him that he does have one big advantage over his brothers: a fucking navy.

In an act of surprising backbone, he more or less demands a full fleet of ships from Diavolo and (honestly to his shock) he gets exactly that to comb the Devil’s Sea while looking for MC. Lotan even helps out!

If he were to be the first to find the MC (presuming they are indeed on a boat or something cause 🤷‍♀️) those kidnappers really shouldn't have challenged the third strongest brother in his natural element, eh? Those who aren't automatically lashed in the face or flung overboard by his tail get hung by the leg over the edge of the ship for Lotan to pick off one by one.

Sails back to shore with MC booming with pride that he of all people finally got to be their hero! Will literally be so happy if MC ever brings it up again, doesn't matter how much time has passed.

Things would settle back to normal pretty quickly after that, but he now checks up on the MC a lot more often and will even leave his room for them if they need to go somewhere and don't want to go alone. Can't have this turning into a rerun, you know?

"You hurt my only friend… So drown."

Satan

One guess how the Avatar of Wrath took the news. It's not swimmingly.

Unless your definition of "swimmingly" is a murderous rampage of toppling furniture, breaking windows, and swearing to curse right about anything that moves, in which case aptly put. 

He gets stuck in an anger-induced tantrum for a bit before finally getting snapped back into coherent thought by Belphie and putting those mystery novels of his to good use. Smart boi takes second to Lucifer himself in the search, suggesting good locations for his brothers scout based on what clues they have to go on.

Of course, he's not content to just to call orders from the sidelines and is out searching himself like he's on the goddamn warpath. Doors? Who needs doors? If anything the hole I made in your wall is more efficient.

Should he be the first to find the MC he would coolly and methodically subdue any kidnapper he can get his hands on, release his human, and bring them home as soon as possible. They've been through quite enough today and don't need to see anything he's got planned for the bastards later.

But the second that Diavolo puts them in the castle dungeon, you best bet that Henry 1.0 is going to the LEAST of their worries. Who's ever wanted to play a life or death game of hide and seek with a giant snake and the incarnation of Wrath itself? First one caught gets the "quick" death! Any volunteers?

Might give the MC a mild scolding for going out when they shouldn't have but otherwise is just happy to see them back and safe. May act extra soft towards them for a couple days, just until the nerves of the situation finally wear off.

"Don't mistake this for mercy. I assure you, I don't know the meaning of the word."

Asmodeus

Highkey freaking out, like, almost as hysterical as Mammon when he hears the news. 

Being the Avatar of Lust, he of course knows there's a whole lot of creeps out there in the world and he is utterly terrified that his poor MC has fallen victim to one at that moment.

For once, all thoughts of himself and his looks are out the window. What? It's past 2am and MC is still gone? I can stay up another hour! Dry shampoo and a washcloth counts as a shower, right? Who the fuck cares, where's MC?? Somebody find them already!!

Pools his contact list with Satan's and starts reaching out across the whole Devildom asking for people to be on the lookout and offer tips. Also begs Solomon to use his magic to help in the search (which he's more than happy to do anyway because he cares about the MC too)

If he were to find MC first it'd be one of those rare cases where he'd be seen really truly enraged. No cute banter, no playful flirting, just telling those worthless scum-vats exactly where they belong and exactly how he's going to put them there. Is it any surprise that he's also madsick with a whip?

Crazy relieved that MC is free, but now it's on them to help him clean up and get back to his prettiest self. I mean, he worried himself half to death while they were gone! All this dirt and sweat going to take three, no four, bathes to fully clean off!! Best hop to it~♡

"Touch them one more time and I'm going to set fire to whatever landfill trash like you crawls out of!!"

Beelzebub

It can't be happening. It honestly can't be happening. First he loses Lilith and now MC?? He can't lose two. He. Can't. Lose. Two.

Pretty much the mantra going through his head as he tears the Devildom apart with his bare hands. 

It's 1000x worse than how he gets when he's hungry because at least then he might stop when he finally gets fed. Now it's either find MC or wait until he collapses from exhaustion and hope he doesn’t leave the whole realm a smoldering crater before he gets that far.

There's no reasoning with him either, the best the brothers can do is steer him in a direction and let him loose.

If he found MC first he probably wouldn't even realize it for a bit, he'd just keep attacking whatever or whoever is in front of him on his path of blind destruction. It'd take the MC literally flinging themselves at him or throwing their arms around him to snap him out of it but then it's back to sweetheart Beel.

Hugs ensue. Really tight hugs. Probably a few tears and apologies too (even if it’s not really his fault at all). 

Woe to anyone who tries going for the MC once he’s sure he has them because they WILL be broken then eaten. He’ll encourage his human not to look, but some things just have to be done.

Would absolutely carry MC back home and refuse to put them down until the others force him to. The floor may as well be lava planning on taking them away from him too.

Wouldn't care as much about personal vengeance as his brothers as long as MC is safe. He'll trust that his family will more than punish the kidnappers (though chances are he already took a chunk or two out of a few of them during his rampage anyway).

Protective instincts up by 100 after this, though Belphie usually steps in and eases him back a bit when he's about to get suffocating. MC never travels without a buddy now, ever. He just can't risk it.

"MC, I-I'm sorry… I just couldn’t lose you too…"

Belphegor

Keeps the coolest head of all the brothers on the outside, but there's a cold fury building up in those eyes.

Pretty much takes charge of whipping everyone back into gear with a combination stinging remarks and heavy duty guilt tripping. May not be the nicest method, but it's effective. 

"Asmo, grow a freaking spine and do something useful for a change! Mammon, this your fault to start with so you ought to be breaking your ass to find them! Satan, watching you is getting embarrassing, pull yourself together and think like you're good at it!"

His harshest criticisms get saved for Lucifer (big shock) but he only dishes them out when he sees his older brother really losing his grip or teetering on losing hope. If the “mighty firstborn” can’t keep it together then why should they even listen to him in the first place?

When he's not administering "motivation," he's keeping tabs on Beel's progression through the Devildom and trying to minimize the damage there. He's the only one that can get through to him long enough to change his course if necessary.

If he were to find the MC first, well, unlike Satan he doesn't have the forethought to save the torture for later. It's happening right here, right now, and you better bet that being the last born doesn't stop him from being a force to be reckoned with.

Waits with the MC for his brothers to catch up to them and deal with any stragglers. May cuddle with them and look like he's trying to take a nap in the meantime, but in truth he's still very alert, on edge, and ready to absolutely wreck shit if anything gets too close to them.

Though it doesn't look like his lazy ass goes through the same protective streak as his brothers, he's a lot quicker to try and convince the MC to stay home now. No out and about=less chance of getting nabbed. Plus he keeps his favorite pillow, win-win. 😏

"What about your worthless lives makes you think you deserve my mercy??"

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Obey Me Brothers Wedding HCS

Just some wedding headcanons for the boys bcuz i’m soft for them, Gn MC

Thinks about marrying Asmo => 😡💕💕

Lucifer

I can not stress how much this man would be a bridezilla

He’s probably the MOST high maintenance demon when it comes to this, even over Asmo

He gets so stressed over it too and when he's stressed he gets extremely snippy

It takes you knocking a little sense into him to get him back on track

He just wants your day to be perfect and with his brothers causing trouble it's hard to really focus on choosing a tablecloth

He won’t be any nicer to his brothers but he will try to avoid causing fights at this time simply because it's really important to him that ALL of his family is there. 

The night after proposing you find a beautiful envelope on white paper with gold trim in your room you realize it's a congratulation note from the celestial realm, presumably from the big man upstairs, it's still a heartstopping realization when you realize who your father in law technically is

Are you committing a sin marrying a fallen angel? Do you care?

It’s easier to ignore it than do anything else, although you do appreciate them registering for the coffee maker you had on your registry. You needed that. Mammon broke the last one.

Kindly begs asks you NOT to do anything crazy in the week leading up to it

Please MC his heart he's about to explode from stress please don't add to it, just for one week

Diavolo plans his bachelor party at the Fall with Barbatos. Invites you along and you have to explain how bachelor parties work

If it’s up to him the wedding will be all black with red accents eDgY mUcH?

At the altar he kisses you twice, first to show everyone that your his, the second time is just for you two, he hides you away from sight curling his black wings around you and holding you as close as he can bear

In the end it's a very happy celebration filled with good food, family, and friends

When you cut the cake feel free to smash a little bit in his face, this is your only chance, he'll be in too much of a good mood to retaliate...much

Mammon

Luxury luxury luxury

He wants solid gold altars, diamond encrusted bouquets, jewels imported from every corner of the world

He has so many plans (as well as a ridiculously long wedding registry)

But the moment you say you want anything he abandons them 

Whatever you want he wants, but if you wanted some diamonds too that would be great

He absolutely would be down for a wedding bouncy castle

He gets you the biggest diamond ring ever that he buys with his own money from a lot of shifts at Hell's kitchen and modelling gigs

He totally believes in the tradition of not seeing you until your wedding day but he also forgets so he walks in and as soon as he realizes you're getting ready he shuts his eyes and tries to run out. He'll only talk to you from behind the door. 

When he sees you walking down the aisle he falls in love all over again. And he feels like that a hundred different moments. It doesn't matter what you're doing, playing with your veil, wiping cake off the corner of your mouth, yawning, he loves you and loves that you’re his.

He could get married to you in a ditch and still be the happiest man in the world.

He's an absolute goofball and is smiling the entire time

The couple that during their wedding night end up jumping on the bed and having pillow fights while play wrestling

Levi

You really want to marry a gross otaku like him??? Why??

Not that he's complaining! He just doesn't get it. His brothers are so cool and Asmo is so much prettier than him and he doesn't have anything to offer.

It takes a lot of reassuring to convince that this is what you want to do

You two have this same conversation about a million times before the wedding. He just doesn't get why you actually like him. Once it finally sets in that this really is happening and it's not just some big joke he gets really into it and definitely puffs up around his brothers to show off

His first thought is a cosplay wedding and he'll beg for it to be Ruri-chan themed

Good luck getting Lucifer or any of his brothers to agree to dressing up, as funny as it may be

If you shoot that down it's pretty easy to convince him to do something else since mostly he's just excited to be with you

He still has a little Ruri pin on his suit collar and cufflinks

When you walk down the aisle he feels like he’s going to faint from nerves and when it’s time for vows he pulls out a huge list of all the reasons he loves you and why your his Henry, although about half of it compares things you’ve done to things in TSL

He only makes it through a quarter of the way before he gets embarrassed

When he lifts your veil he panics because your so pretty and he can’t handle it

You have to initiate the kiss and when you do he turns as red as a tomato

He tries to play it off but keep a strong arm around his waist unless he really does decide to pass out

He cools down once you guys are at the reception and gets especially excited the little custom made toppers of you two in cartoon form

Satan

He's a bridezilla but in the lightest sense of the word

He won't get upset over mix ups or even really wedding stuff like Asmo or Lucifer but his temper will be extremely fine during this time, especially when it comes to his brothers.

Throws an entire table through the window when Lucifer asks him if he knew where Mammon was

It’s a lot of stress to create the perfect wedding and he buries his nose in different books that can help him

He’s a bit of a perfectionist

The most classic and elegant wedding ever and he’d want to be involved in every step of the way

Very interested in your opinion and if it compares to human weddings

He flushes with pride whenever you compliment something he picked out

Includes casual literary references in his wedding but only so people who really know will realize

Wears a navy suit 

Asmo

Also a bridezilla and a petty one at that

There will be drama, there will be tears, there will be a part where he cries off his mascara because Andrealphus of the damned brought the white bouquets and he wanted the PINK ones. This is HIS day why is she trying to ruin it.

It’s a lot of work trying to keep the damage to a minimal

Part of the reason he gets so upset is because this is your day too and he wants it to be perfect. 

Prepare for a million dress rehearsals.

He wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup! But he also doesn't want to break human tradition...But he wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup so bad!!

If he manages to restrain himself he picks out the makeup artist and the stylizer because he knows what makeup you like and what looks best on your skin.

Most likely tho he'll want to see anyways and bugs you to let him in

You compromise by going shopping with him as he tries on a million dresses and suits

MC the suit on the right or the one on the left?

They both look exactly the same.

"...Left love." "That's exactly what I was thinking. I knew I could trust you to pick out the right answer!"

Even though he's very good at fashion your opinion matters a lot to him. Sure he could make himself look perfect but he wants to look perfect for YOU. He wants to be your version of perfect and if that means he picks the high cut dress instead of the low cut which flatters his waist better then he'll do it. For you.

He's the type to want to have all the spotlight on him so if you're walking down the aisle he's going to do it too! He does it first. HE says for the attention. In reality he wants to be able to see you the moment you step out the doors and down that hall.

Looks super perfect as he waits for you at the aisle but the moment you get married he starts ugly crying. He throws his veil back on so no one can see it but you just lift it up and kiss away his tears.

Even though it's a lot of work it's worth it to be with the demon you love...but if you shove cake in his face he'll seriously kill you, MC do you know how long this took?!!!!! :'(

Beel

He’s more than happy to do whatever you want

Whatever vision you have he's willing to make happen

He does his best but feels a little useless since keeps having to break for snacks

Wonders why you’d want to be with him when all he ever does it eat but he tries not to bring it up in case it would upset you

He honestly does have a lot of fun planning with you and his favorite part was when you got to taste test different cakes because he got to impress you by explaining all the little differences between each one

He ends up being in charge of everything food related and it helps him feel a bit better

Barbatos ends up cooking the dishes 

During the rehearsal he falls in love with you all over again and doesn’t want to let you go the entire time

He gets especially nervous during the month of the wedding

He starts stress eating, going through even more food than normal, but then he gets worried about fitting into his suit and starts working out even more than normal, which makes him hungry again. It’s a terrible cycle

Belphie manages to break him out of it by reminding Beel that you love him more than anyone else

Even though its his wedding he starts setting up just to get out some of his nervous tension until the others shoo him back inside

A huge 20 layer cake each tier a different flavor

He has his own personal cake that's even bigger than the other cake but he’s more than willing to share with you

You two do the cute bit where you smash cake in each others faces

Beel still eats it tho

As much as he loves his family he's so happy to be able to steal you away at the end

Belphie

Planning a wedding is sooo much work

He lets you choose whatever you want as long as you let him sleep

if it was up to him he'd want a small informal celebration with his family but if you want something bigger than he guesses it's fine. As long as he doesn't have to talk to anyone like Diavolo 

He uninvites Lucifer like three times, each time using extremely formal paper with beautiful cursive that must have taken hours. When Lucifer confronts him Belphie just says that it’s too late because he already gave away his seat. 

He only brings him back when you make him

He sleeps more than usual in the weeks leading up to the wedding. You think it’s because of the stress but in actuality he’s trying to save up his sleep so he’s more awake for the ceremony

As much as he may act like he doesn’t care, he really does want to marry you and it makes him happy to think that you’re going to be all his

Beel is obviously his best man and while Belphie waits for you to come down the aisle he leans against him to take a small nap. Or that's what he had planned. The moment the music starts he perks up and finds himself unable to even close his eyes, too fixated on the doors about to open. 

Feeds you the first bite of cake and then just...doesn't stop

He’s so in love with you all he can do is stare

Gives his slice of cake to Beel he'd much rather pay attention to you than eat

However he does smash a little in your face but it’s out of love <3

[mammonprotectionsquad]

First of I wanna say that Freya's story doesn't really follow the Canon storyline. For example, Belphie is not locked up in the attic. Mainly because I was already exhausted only thinking about having to include all that shit that's connected to it xD

Also... This is far from perfect, but I just wanted to finally get the starting point for her story out.

You can find her small introduction post here

Welcome to the Devildom

Obey Me oc Freya

One moment she was sitting on her couch peacefully, enjoying her day off, and the next she was in some weird room with a bunch of even weirder strangers surrounding her.

"Welcome to the Devildom!", the tallest of the group exclaimed while looking like an excited puppy. Afterwards beginning to explain why they brought her there; That she was chosen to be part of an exhange program between human realm, the celestial realm and the devildom. Along with some other general information about what to expect and whatever else could go on.

Honestly, all Freya could really do as she listened, still sitting on the ground where she'd landed a couple minutes ago, was stare at the redhead in front of her. Her face completely unreadable even though there was a whirlwhind of emotions going on inside of her.

When it felt like explanation time was over, she finally got on her feet, eyes darting from one man to the next as she still tried to wrap her mind around what just happened to her. That was also when her tongue decided to be faster than her brain, words just tumbling out before she had the opportunity to even think it through first.

"What in the fuck are you guys thinking, huh?! This is pretty much considered kidnapping! You can't just go "Oop let's pick this human for our weird exchange program without informing them before hand. We don't care if they're up for it or not." I mean, come on! I don't give a flying fuck about the redhead being a prince or something like that. Consent, my guys! Does that word ring a bell? Probably not, considering I'm here against my will!", she huffed, arms crossed in front of her chest.

Her outburst tickled very different reactions out of the people present in the room. While she was convinced she heard an amused snort from the side coming from a guy with purple and white hair, the raven haired man right next to the prince looked like he was about ready to pounce on her and kill her on the spot. Though said prince simply laughed brightly, looking way too happy and excited for her liking.

"Feisty! That's good, she'll need to be strong to survive here. We definitely picked the right one~ Lucifer, I'll leave the rest to you."

"Of course, Lord Diavolo."

And with that, the redhead and the dude with green hair left the room. Ruby eyes boring into her. But her stubborness refused to make her back down.

No one in the room, including herself, looked actually happy about the entire situation. Things only getting worse when, after introductions were over, Mammon was the one ordered to play the role as her babysitter. He protested loudly, complaining about how he had better things to do than making sure a weak, little human wouldn't get eaten by other demons. Though all it took to make him shut up was a low "Mammooooon!" from the eldest

Once in her temporary home and her room, after Mammon reluctantly showed her around a bit, she noticed that quite a few of her things were already there. For her own poor nerves, Freya decided it was best not to ask how the fuck that happened when she hadn't brought anything along. Her brain was already too occupied with what the hell she was supposed to tell her family and girlfriend about how, why and where she suddenly disappeared to. Not to mention that she had to quit her job as well now.

With a sigh, she flopped down on the bed, head swimming with everything that had happened, until she eventually fell asleep.

Saying she felt like shit the next morning was an understatement. And after getting dressed into the school uniform, her pink hair up in a high ponytail, it took her a little bit until she managed to find the dining room. Her greeting mainly being ignored or met with expressions that weren't all too friendly. Great start... And to top it all off, she had to make a mental note to get up earlier in the future to be the one to make coffee. Because really. The one the guys made? It sucked.

"C'mon, human! We gotta leave. Otherwise Lucifer will string ya from the ceiling, if you're late. And I ain't getting you out of that!", Mammon called out as he already made his way to the door.

Honestly, he was lucky that she was too tired to make any snarky remarks, instead just huffing as she shouldered her bag and picked up her pace to catch up with him.

In all honesty, she didn't listen to a single thing he said, lost in her own thoughts while adjusting the horrendous uniform here and there. "It is kind of funny in some way, though... The queer ended up in hell after all", she thought, accompanied by a small snort.

Even though Mammon was supposed to stay with her, she found herself alone rather early on in the school day, letting out a long sigh as she looked around, being met by glares and hungry stares.

Though what caught her attention soon after was when two assholes harrassed what seemed to be a blonde child. And as so often, she acted on impulse. Walking over with her green eyes narrowed and placing herself right in front of the kid, who made a rather surprised noise.

"I see we'll have a feast today. Not only the small angel, but also one of the humans!", one of them chuckled. They were both quite a bit taller than her, which wasn't all too surprising seeing how she was rather short to begin with.

And when they both leaned down to be on eye level with her? Freya barked at them. Loud and low. Catching them so much off guard that all they did was blink, while she used the time to usher the boy away from them and into a more quiet corner.

But before she had the chance to ask if he was okay, they were approached by two men. One in an outfit that made her question whether or not she should shield the boy's eyes to keep him from seeing that much exposed skin, and another one with white hair. As she then found out, those three were the other exchange students; Luke, Simeon and Solomon.

"Did you just bark at demons?", Solomon asked, the amusement fairly visible in his voice.

"Sure did. They're not really much different from human assholes that think they can intimidate women into doing whatever they want", she explained with a shrug, not missing how Luke's bright eyes were nearly glued to her. "I'll teach you how to do that properly", she then added with a wink aimed a the little one, who blushed brightly, even while insisting that he wasn't scared and he could've handled it on his own.

Honestly, it was kind of a relief to know that there would also be people who seemed to be genuinely nice, so she easily found herself agreeing when they asked if she wanted to explore the Devildom a bit with them after school.

It was safe to say that the first ones she grew closer to were those three. But thankfully the more time passed, she also slowly but surely got along better with the seven brothers.

Sure, they were far from being friends, but at least the constant death threads stopped after a while and that was at least something.

Though how did she manage to worm her way into all their hearts in the end? Now that's a story for another day.

Masterlist

If anyone would like to get added to the tag list for the oc stuff, please let me know 💕

[hallowxiu]

The Avatar of Greed & Pacts

pairing: human!mammon x demon!gn!mc

word count: 3.7k

summary: Mammon meets Solomon and learns about pacts for the first time, and becomes curious about the concept himself.

a\n: sorry i was mia the last couple weeks. my last day off was nearly two weeks ago so i’ve just been kinda dead lol

let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in this series! i’m always up for suggestions :)

part four of the human!mammon & demon!mc series

part one | part two | part three

“Absolutely not!”  You were darting down the hall like your life depended on it (which it technically did, since Lord Diavolo expected you to keep Mammon safe), eyes wide as you looked for your white-haired human. This might have been your fault (it was) since you neglected the human while having your brief exchange with Lucifer. Of course, you completely forgot that Mammon wouldn’t know where his bedroom was, because why would he? He’d never been to the House of Lamentation before. It was shortly after you realized your mistake that you heard a yell from down the hall, suspiciously close to Asmodeus’ room, that you also remembered he was wearing nothing but a towel. 

“Asmodeus!” Out of breath from your short jog over, your chest rises and falls. “Leave him alone! Keep your dirty hands off him!” You slipped off your shoe and threw it at your younger brother. “He’s not even been here for an hour; you will not traumatize him in any kind of way!” 

“Dirty?” Your brother gave you an incredulous look while flawlessly dodging the shoe thrown his way. “I just had my nails manicured, and you’re calling them dirty? I keep my hands cleaner than anyone else in this household.” He was offended, looking at you with narrowed eyes. His hands were placed on his hips while Mammon stood pressed against the wall, his hands clutching at his towel before he spotted you. 

“Oh thank god.” He scurried behind you, peering over your shoulder as he examined Asmodeus from a safe distance. 

“You shouldn’t say that around here.” A sigh left your lips as you kept your eyes on Asmodeus. “Why were you harassing him?”

“Harassing? I was doing no such thing! I’ll have you know that most people, no, everyone would be honored that I would even spare them a glance. I was just admiring how cute our new human exchange student is, that’s all. And in nothing but a towel? It’s almost too easy; it’s like he’s putting on a show just for me.”

 There’s a smile on his lips which causes your guard to go up more. “Behave, Asmo.” You take Mammon by his wrist, having him follow your lead. “And make sure you get plenty of sleep tonight! Lucifer wants everyone ready for classes tomorrow.” You called over your shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah.” You could hear your brother sigh from where he stood before he disappeared back into his room. 

You’re sitting on Mammon’s bed as he pokes around his new room, freshly changed into a new pair of clothes. “So this is really my new place?” There’s a hint of suspicion to his tone as he skimmed through the textbooks laying on his desk. 

“For the rest of your stay, anyway.” You hummed out while scrolling through your phone. “But feel free to pop into my room whenever you want. Just make sure you stay away from Lucifer’s office, his bedroom, and Asmodeus’ bedroom.” You felt like it was self-explanatory why he shouldn’t be snooping around those areas. “Since this will be your new home, try to get as comfortable as you can. You’ll find that the time will pass by a lot easier if you aren’t stressed out of your mind.” 

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Mammon’s holding up one of the textbooks Lucifer had put in his room earlier in preparation for tomorrow. “This doesn’t even look like it’s in English.”

You spared him a single glance before looking back down at the device in your hands. “Because it’s not. That textbook is for your demonology language course. You’ll be learning our language.” You informed the human. 

“Sounds like a pain to me.” He huffed under his breath before dropping it back down on his desk. “So,” an awkward beat of silence passes over the two of you, “ya never introduced yourself.” You raised an eyebrow at him from where you sat. “I mean ya told me your name and all that jazz, but you didn’t tell me what your power was or whatever.” 

“My power..?” A chuckle slips past your lips from the realization of what he was trying to ask you. “Right, I suppose I didn’t tell you about myself. You kind of picked me before Lucifer even introduced me to you. I’m the Avatar of Greed.” Mammon’s mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape at your explanation. 

“So what the hell does that mean?” 

You roll your eyes at his obliviousness. “It means I’m greedy. What do you want me to say? I like everything that’s in the form of money. I like selling things and making a quick buck off them. I love earning money, the feeling of money under my fingertips, the smell of money, anything and everything about money.” 

“Ah,” Mammon snaps his fingers in realization before pointing at you with a bright smile, “so you’re greedy.” You felt the little patience you had left drain from you. 

“And you’re stupid.” 

You watched the smile drop from his face.

“Do you remember everything we went over last night?” You’re glancing over at the human walking by your side. “Mammon, pay attention.” You have to drag his attention back to you when noticing that the human was too busy staring at everything around him. Today was the first day of classes at RAD, and it was your job to make sure nothing happened to him (specifically, to make sure no demon ate him as an afternoon snack). “Seriously, I understand that everything is new to you and you’re probably feeling overwhelmed by all the new plants and creatures you’re seeing, let alone all the different types of demons around us, but it’s extremely important that you don’t find yourself wandering away from me. I’m the only thing standing between you and a hungry demon sizing you up for a meal.” 

“...Sorry, what did ya say?” 

Once again, you felt your patience drain from you. However, although he was testing your patience, you knew it was for the best that he was assigned to you and not one of your brothers. You doubted Lucifer would keep him the entire year without snapping and killing him, and your other brothers would probably just forget about him and leave him to die in a closet somewhere. You cringed at the thought. 

“Relax, I’m just messin’ with ya! ‘So uptight, ya need to chill out a little.” Mammon’s nudging your side as he walks with you. “I’m not some child, I’m not gonna wander off and get myself eaten or anythin’. Believe it or not, I’m actually pretty decent with following instructions.” While a part of you doubted that, you were relieved to know that he listened to what you had said. “Listen, if what you’re sayin’ is true, if I need to stay by your side at nearly all times or I’ll get killed, I’m not gonna move away from ya. I mean, look at this face.” Mammon frames his face with his hands, cupping his cheeks as he smiles up at you. “I’m way too handsome to be eaten by some ugly demon.” 

Against your better judgment, a laugh leaves you. “Whatever you say, Mammon.”

“What? Ya don’t think I’m handsome? Sounds like jealousy to me.”

“Leviathan’s the Avatar of Envy, not me.” You corrected the other playfully. “Anyway, besides attending your classes today, you’ll also meet the other exchange students. This could be good for you, Mammon. At least one other is a human. I understand that it’s important for humans to socialize with each other, otherwise, they feel alienated and can become depressed.” While you were no expert on humans like Lilith or Belphegor, you did end up studying the human race as a whole once Lucifer assigned Mammon under your care. “His name is Solomon, and while he’s a sorcerer, he’s still a human so you should be able to relate to him a little bit.”

“A sorcerer? Ya mean to tell me that that shit’s real?” 

“You’re surrounded by demons in another realm and yet you can’t grasp the possibility of a sorcerer?” 

“...Touché.” 

“The other two are angels. I’m sure they’ll treat you well; angels have never had much of an issue with humans.” You, on the other hand, might find yourself having a hard time forming any kind of relationship with them. However, you heard some rumors that one of the angels was Simeon, and if that were the case… 

“Angels, huh? I suppose that makes sense if I’m surrounded by demons. But they let angels down here? That seems a little more taboo than inviting some humans.” You found yourself agreeing with Mammon. You weren’t exactly sure what Lord Diavolo’s plan or goal was, and you weren’t sure how angels would fare down here. 

“Everything’s confusing to me as well.” You decided to be honest with him. “I don’t even think Lucifer completely understands Lord Diavolo’s goal, but all we can do is go along with it and hope for the best. I will do my best to make sure none of the exchange students are harmed during this program.” To Mammon, you might have appeared as a loyal subject to Lord Diavolo. In reality, however, you knew that if something were to happen to one of the humans or angels, there could be another war between the realms. That was something you dreaded, and it brought up too many painful memories. You’d rather everything go over smoothly, even if you didn’t understand the reasoning of Lord Diavolo. “Are you ready for class?” You ask before Mammon can get anything else out. The two of you were standing at the entrance of RAD, and Mammon was looking a little timid. You knew he wouldn’t say anything to you about his nerves, so you’d just have to calm him down without his help. “Luckily for you, we have all of our classes together.” 

“Lucky me.” He said with a roll of his eyes. You felt your eye twitch in annoyance, but decided not to say anything. “Well then, let’s head to our first class, shall we?” 

“Mammon, you shouldn’t look so scared.” You find yourself whispering to Mammon as the two of you walk down the halls after your last class. “That’s the look that demons love on a human. It makes you look more delicious.” Mammon throws a weak punch to your arm. 

“Shut up. Are ya tryin’ to intimidate me or somethin’? Because it’s not working!” You raise an eyebrow at his behavior, though you shake your head. He must be exhausted after spending the day surrounded by demons. It must be similar to placing a mouse in a room full of hungry cats. No wonder he was so on edge. 

“We’ll be home soon enough, Mammon.” Before Mammon can respond, though you could assume what it would be based on his annoyed expression, you hear someone call out his name. The two of you turn around and you find yourself stepping in front of him subconsciously. When seeing the figure approaching the two of you, you drop your guard as a human scent washes over you. “You must be the other human exchange student. Solomon, right?” 

“You’d be correct. It’s a pleasure to finally meet the Avatar of Greed.” There’s a coy smile on his lips that causes you to immediately bring your guard back up. Despite Solomon confirming that he’s a human, Mammon still lingers behind you slightly. Solomon catches a glimpse of the human standing behind you. “You’re Mammon, right? What an interesting name for a human.” 

“Shut up. Who the hell is named Solomon anyway? And ya think my name is weird for a human? Rich.” He huffs before moving to stand beside you. 

A laugh leaves Solomon from Mammon’s response. “What’s with that treatment? There’s no reason to be suspicious of me. I’m an exchange student from the human world, just like you.”

“He has a pact with my brother, Asmodeus.” You inform Mammon. “Barbatos as well, Lord Diavolo’s royal butler.” Mammon looks up at you and then over at Solomon with wide eyes. 

“How did ya manage that? Ya have pacts with them?” 

“Through a lot of bargaining,” Solomon says with a bit of a sigh. “But I’m trying to get the rest of Asmodeus’ brothers, too. Primarily Lucifer.” You watch the sorcerer with a raised eyebrow. “And you, too.” He sends a wink your way, to which you immediately roll your eyes. 

“Unlike my brother, I’m not that easy to get a pact with.” You informed Solomon before turning your attention back to Mammon. “You should make sure to bond with him, it’s always good to have another human watching your back in a place like this. Just make sure you don’t let him drag you into any trouble. Unlike Solomon, you don’t have fancy magical powers to get you out of any bad situation.” You can hear Solomon scoff from where he stood. 

“I’m not that bad; don’t give Mammon a bad impression of me.” There’s a pout on his lips, though it quickly turns back to a smile. “I dorm at the Purgatory with the other exchange students. Feel free to stop by whenever you feel like it. I feel it’s important for the exchange students to get along since we’re all in a foreign place.” 

“Maybe you can meet the other two exchange students then.” There’s a smile on your lips as you look at Mammon. You were hoping he’d meet the angels today (and for you to find out if Simeon was here), but at least he was able to meet the other human. 

“I’m sure they’d love to meet him,” Solomon says as he shifts where he stands. “Regardless, I have to be going now. Demons to see, things to do.” Solomon smiles and waves goodbye to the two of you before heading off in the opposite direction. 

“So that’s the Solomon I always hear so much about from Asmodeus.” You find yourself thinking out loud as you and Mammon begin your walk home. “He’s interesting, though I’m not sure what I was expecting him to be like. He’s a little shady if I’m being honest. Then again, I suppose a human with seventy-two pacts with demons would be shady, don’t you think?” You watch as Mammon nearly chokes on his spit as he walks beside you.

“Seventy-two pacts?!” 

“I know, I think it’s a bit overkill as well, but I guess he doesn’t think so.” 

“How did he even manage that?” 

“Well, I’m sure some of them are low-ranking demons. It’s not exactly hard for a human to strike up a pact with them. However, I’m not sure how he scored Barbatos and Asmodeus. Asmo might be easy to tempt, but he’s a little difficult when it comes to making pacts. There’s a lot that goes into a pact, you know.” You inform the human beside you. “I guess I shouldn’t underestimate Solomon.” 

“Hmm…” Mammon’s lips are pressed into a thin line and the conversation goes silent for a few minutes. “Say,” he looks over at you after saying your name, “do ya think I could ever make a pact down here?” 

“A pact? With a demon?”

“Duh! Who else would I be makin’ pacts with, demon?” His hands are on his hips as he side-eyes you. “And to think that ya make it out that I’m the stupid one, then ya go around askin’ obvious questions.” 

“Hey, watch it.” You threaten the other before returning to his question. “I suppose, though I’m not sure with who. If you mean with any of my brothers, then I highly doubt it. And if you mean with me, then I can just tell you right now: no.” 

Mammon huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “No need to be so rude about it. I was only curious, and it’s not like I’d want a pact with a stupid demon like ya anyway.” 

“Then why’d you ask?” 

“I could have meant anyone! Not just you; now ya just sound like the Avatar of Stupidity.” 

“That’s not a thing.” You respond with narrowed eyes. “Behave, or I’ll leave you here alone.”

“As if you’d ever want to disappoint your precious Lucifer.” Mammon sticks his tongue out and you nudge his side. 

“Careful, or I’ll end up eating you.” You stick your tongue out as well. 

You open the door to find Lucifer already at home. Upon noticing him, Mammon grows uncomfortable and shuffles behind you again. He noticed, of course, and a slight frown forms on his lips. “You don’t have to act as if I’ll eat you every time you see me.” Lucifer places his cup of coffee on the kitchen counter and walks over to the two of you. “I simply just wanted to see how your first day of classes went. You’re in one piece, so it couldn’t have been all that bad.” 

“It wasn’t bad.” Mammon stiffly responds. “‘Was borin’ though.” Lucifer chuckles at this and only shakes his head. “I did learn somethin’ interestin’ though.” Both you and Lucifer look over at him curiously. 

“And what could that be? Has a class already piqued your interest? I’m sure Lord Diavolo will be thrilled to hear that.” Lucifer has a sweet smile on his face, one that you know to be practiced and rehearsed. Although he’s your brother, and maybe the one you’d even consider yourself to be closest to, you don’t trust him to be alone with Mammon. 

“That humans can form pacts with demons. Solomon has so many pacts, I can’t help but be a little jealous.” You instinctively roll your eyes at Mammon’s words. He’s back on this again, you think to yourself with a sigh. You were feeling uneasy about how this conversation could go with your brother. 

“Oh, you didn’t know that? Yes, demons can form pacts with humans if they wish. With the low-ranking demons, it’s normally not too difficult. Do you perhaps already have your sights set on a demon?” The smile is still on Lucifer’s lips, though this time it seems a bit more agitated. Before Mammon can respond, Lucifer decides to speak up once again. “I hope it’s not with any of my siblings. It could be viewed as offensive if you think they’d be that easy to form a pact with. It’s only your first day here, after all.” Mammon’s face is flushed from embarrassment and you can’t help but feel slightly irritated toward your brother. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to get hurt, would you? Getting a pact is a dangerous game, and unlike myself and your wonderful babysitter--”

“I am not a babysitter.” You interject. He ignores you.

“--not all of my brothers behave as well as the two of us. Seriously, Mammon,” you raise an eyebrow from the usage of his name, “don’t do anything that could get you killed.” Lucifer sounds tired as he ends the conversation, dismissing the two of you as he heads towards his office. “I have a stack of paperwork to get to, so don’t interrupt me unless there’s an emergency.” 

Mammon waits until Lucifer’s gone before turning to you. “Your brother honestly scares the shit out of me.” You can’t help but laugh at his honesty. 

“You get used to it. Just stay on his good side and there’s nothing to worry about.” You reassure the other. “But I wouldn’t ask him too many questions about pacts. I don’t mind them, but Lucifer, I don’t think he’s too keen on humans and I don’t think he’s too keen on this program of Lord Diavolo’s.” You give him a pat on the back before heading towards the stairs. “Follow me; we’ll do our homework together and then you’re free to do whatever you want for the rest of the night.” 

“Can’t believe I finished school just to be forced back into this shit.” He grumbles under his breath as he follows you to your room. “I didn’t even consent to any of this.” 

“Does that matter?”

“Are ya askin’ me if consent matters? Seriously?” 

“Of course not, dipshit.” You roll your eyes, for what seems like the millionth time that day, at Mammon. “I’m saying, does it matter if you wanted to be here? At the end of the day, it doesn’t change anything; you’re stuck here and can’t return home regardless. You might as well make the most of it, even if you are stuck in school again. If it makes you feel any better, I also don’t want to be stuck in school but just like Lucifer and the rest of my brothers, we don’t have a choice in that matter.” You drop your bag on the floor once you enter your room and sit down on the edge of your bed. “Since it’s your first day here, I figured I’d help you out with the homework in case there was something you didn’t understand. Not to brag or anything, but I’m kind of a professional when it comes to being a demon.” 

“So you’re a professional demon.” Mammon snorts as he sits beside you. “How lucky am I?” 

“To be stuck with me out of everyone else here? I’d say extremely lucky.” You hum while flipping through one of your notebooks. “Now pay attention, because I don’t feel like going through every question three times.”

“I think I got paired with the bossiest demon in all of the Devildom.” 

“Say that again and see what happens.” 

“You’re the bossiest-- hey!” Mammon just barely dodges a notebook that flies in his direction. “That’s abuse! I’ll file a complaint; claim that you’re tryna eat me and shit!” 

“You can’t accuse me of trying to eat you every time you do something stupid and get hit for it.” 

“Sure I can! I just did, and I’ll do it again, too.” 

“Out of every human to get selected for this program…” You pinch the bridge of your nose in irritation. “And it had to be you.” 

“You’re not happy? Odd, I’d be honored to spend all the time in the world with me.”

“Of course you’d say that.” A groan nearly leaves you and you run a hand over your face. “Open your notebook, Mammon. Let’s breeze through this homework so I can get out of your hair.” And most importantly, so he can get out of your hair. 

[my-soul-sings]

Fandom: Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint  Characters: Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk

Summary: This was a game, and he was the lone player in this universe. Or at least, he used to be, until he met him. 

Based on chapters 178, 188 and 226 of the light novel (spoilers ahead).

***

This was a game, and he was the lone player in this universe. 

Yoo Joonghyuk stared down at his empty hands, calloused and stained with the blood of the countless lives he’d slain to get to where he is now. But it didn’t matter. This was a game, and his goal was to win. If he failed, he’d just start over. Reset. Regress. It was simple. 

At the same time, it was lonely. 

Sometimes, he wished he could live like the people he saw all around him: fighting with their companions, protecting each other, and dying together.

But it was a wishful thought that he dismissed quickly every time it tugged at the back of his mind. It was impossible to live that way — after all, he would probably lose his companions anyway. They would either die or forget about him once he regresses. It was much easier to treat people as NPCs and tools, their worth determined by how useful they could be to him in this game. And if he failed, he’d leave them behind and start over to give it another shot. 

The goal, ultimately, was to win. Emotions would only shackle his feet.  

So why was he feeling so damn pissed? 

Kim Dokja was sitting across him on a bed, tubes strung to his body and hooked to a machine. He’d just woken up after being unconscious for a full week. Despite the man’s battered body, Yoo Joonghyuk still felt an urge to give him a punch in the gut for good measure. 

“When did you come here?” Kim Dokja asked. 

Yoo Joonghyuk forced himself to look away and took a seat in a chair by the bed, pouring himself a cup of tea. Supposedly, tea could calm nerves. He took a sip. 

It didn’t work. In fact, it was bitter. His fingers refused to budge from the fist that had been formed.

“Two days ago.” 

He heard a long sigh of relief, and the fist loosened slightly. He received a couple more questions about how he managed to survive the exile penalty, and once they were answered, an awkward silence settled in the room. 

It was strange. Yoo Joonghyuk had come in with the intention of yelling at Kim Dokja and giving him a piece of his mind for all the shit he’d put him through, but at this moment, he couldn’t find the words to say. His tongue didn’t move when he glanced over at Kim Dokja’s conflicted face. He promptly returned his gaze to his cup, as if the tea would give him answers. 

It didn’t. The only thing in his mind was the anger he’d held in since the time he realised that it was this man spreading his name in the demon realm. Mainly though, he was pissed at the number of times this guy had gone and jumped straight into hell to save his party. It was almost like that reckless idiot was actively searching for opportunities to kill himself. 

Yoo Joonghyuk hated it with every fiber of his being—because there was no greater pain than losing a companion.

Maybe he was being a hypocrite, but he didn’t care. Just like how he never cared about the cries of his party members when they watched him die, watched his life bleed out from his wounds and trickle past his twitching fingertips. After all, he could simply regress and recruit them again. He would regress until he won this cursed game. 

But this guy, Kim Dokja... he was different. He wasn’t a regressor. He obviously had many cunning tricks up his sleeve, but he wasn’t invincible and his luck would eventually run out. 

Yoo Joonghyuk thought it had completely run out when Kim Dokja turned into the demon king. He still remembered the moment he held the dying man in his arms, desperately trying to keep him from turning into dust and from being absorbed into the black hole. 

Of course, it didn’t work. His hands had come up empty, despite his desperate cry of Kim Dokja’s name. 

It was funny in a way. For someone who abandoned people as frequently as he did, when the tables turned on him he didn’t know how to deal with it at all. 

“The others… are they doing well?”

Of course he would ask about them. Maybe he was feeling guilty for pulling that stunt on everyone like that—as he should. “Lee Hyunsung went to the army. Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye are training new incarnations. They are strengthening their power in preparing for the future disaster scenarios.”

The stories about the others continued, the words forming and leaping off Yoo Joonghyuk’s tongue in fluid succession. As he spoke, Kim Dokja would interject with some questions of his own, and the tense muscles in Yoo Joonghyuk’s shoulders began to relax. Maybe it was the tea. It had been a while since he had such a civil conversation with that man.

Kim Dokja listened attentively, with a sad smile tugging on his lips. 

“Everybody is busy living.”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t miss the lonely gaze in his companion’s eyes. He understood it. Being forgotten by the companions you fought alongside with—he knew the feeling well. He was reminded of it every time he regressed and met their eyes again for the first time, and the unrecognition and suspicion in their eyes never failed to make his chest ache. 

“In addition, everyone is telling your story.”

Maybe he should have said it sooner without that long pause in between. But in that moment of silence when he stared at Kim Dokja’s sorrowful eyes, Yoo Jooghyuk felt understood for the first time. Being a regressor was a lonely thing, not just because it was a path he treaded alone, but because no one else could empathise or understand him.

“They say it a lot, your story.” 

No one else, except for Kim Dokja, it seemed.

The corners of the man’s lips lifted into a small smile as he covered his eyes, as if embarrassed by the fact. As if he could be embarrassed—he was easily one of the most shameless people Yoo Joonghyuk had met.

But it wasn’t a bad trait.

Yoo Joonghyuk took another sip of his tea, which somehow tasted less bitter now. He must have gotten used to the taste. 

“Let’s go back to Earth, Kim Dokja,” he said.

Their eyes met, and no other words were needed. 

[dontasktheradiodemon]

King Cake (2/12/2021)

Alastor sends a hostage letter to Sir Pentious @hiss-and-vinegar​ letting him know that his king cake is ready. Sir Pentious boldly tracks down Alastor at his secret lair (the hotel he hangs out at every single day) to retrieve the hostage cake.

They hang out in the kitchen, chat, and hatch a dastardly plot to break into another ring of Hell and steal scrap metal.

And there’s an exciting surprise at the end!! You should read it! It’s exciting!!!

Alastor

There's a pompous trumpet fanfare out of nowhere to call attention to a small portal opening up in midair, just in time for a folded paper to drop through.

Unfolded, there's a Polaroid of a chocolaty-looking Bundt cake with careful stripes of gold colored sugar, with the tip of a knife looming threateningly over the innocent cake. The polaroid is paper clipped to a letter made of words cut and pasted from a newspaper, reading: "meet me tonight or the cake gets it !"

The letter is signed with Alastor's KTRD stamp, which begs the question of why he took the time to cut up a newspaper rather than just write the letter himself.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious knows exactly why Alastor did it this way. Because he's EXTRA. Just like Pentious is. In fact, when Penny reads the letter, he's SNICKERING to himself.... until it's a FULL BLOWN CACKLE!

Receiving a letter? Excellent. RECEIVING A RANSOM NOTE??? HAHAAAAA!!! He LOVES IT. Their humor is based on PACKAGED BOMBS, after all. Sir Pentious slithers over to his planner, and begins jotting the information down. Just in case!!! You never know if you'll get distracted. Hee hee.

Alright Alastor, he's going to go take a bath and make sure he's all ready for tonight.

Alastor

Alastor, in all his vast wisdom, totally neglected the most important part of a hostage letter: a time and place for the hostage exchange to take place. He sort of thought that Sir Pentious would message him to arrange a pickup. Someday he'll learn not to assume anything.

At any rate, since he doesn't hear from Sir Pentious, he figures maybe he hasn't seen the letter yet or else doesn't have time to pick up the hostage tonight. If he doesn't hear from Sir Pentious by midnight Alastor will message him to make sure he got the note and that he didn't misinterpret it as a real threat instead of a joke, but in the meantime he distracts himself with hotel business and his other Mardi Gras plans.

Sir Pentious

Yep, it never even dawned on Sir Pentious to just... message him. Likely that meant to meet at the Hotel! Isn't that where Alastor often hung out anyway? It was just easier to meet there anyway, with its strange dimensional ways.

When the time comes, he's slithering into the lobby, still wearing his usual outfit. Should he have dressed up? WELL, there was nothing about dressing up so... Anyway here he is, tongue flicking and all. Slimther slimther.

Alastor

It's not going to be hard to find Alastor—just follow the sound of accordions and loud French singing. He's been playing almost nothing but this song for over a week. Seriously, he's got a dozen different versions of this song.

He's taken over the hotel lounge with various sewing junk: colorful fringes made of scrap fabric, scissors, half-hemmed squares of fabric. At the moment, he's attaching strings of pearls to a fancy-looking dark blue-green coat.

Sir Pentious

Oh! Look at THAT! His eyes widen, ALL of them, and he *beams*, all of his sharp yellow teeth gleaming. A party! Le Carnaval est commencé! He's going to slither in more fully, as he takes in a *deep breath*.....

"*JOYEUX CARNAVAL, MON AMI!!!*" Yes, nothing like screaming during festivities.

Alastor

Alastor starts and jumps out of his seat—oh, Sir Pentious is *here*—and hollers back, "Joyeux carnival!" Why is he hollering, they're in the same room. He tosses down his project and prances across the room to Sir Pentious, half dancing to his music before he finally stops it so they can talk properly. "Look at you, tracking me down in my secret lair—some hostage-taker I am! That'll teach me to send ransom notes."

Sir Pentious

"WELL, YOU COULD BE BETTER AT IT IF YOU INCLUDED A MEETING PLACE AND A MORE APPROXIMATE *TIME*, BUT ALL YOU SSSAID WAS MEET YOU AT MIDNIGHT! WHERE ELSE WOULD I CONCLUDE TO GO?" He lids his eyes, smirking, "ROSIE'SSSS? I THINK NOT!"

They can tease each other about that. *It's allowed.* He straightens his posture and gestures about, "YOU'VE DONE A VERY GOOD JOB DECORATING! BUT I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED AS MUCH FROM A SHOWMAN SSSUCH AS YOURSSSSELF!"

Alastor

"Well—! I thought we were going to arrange a time and place. I didn't want to say 'let's meet at so-and-so,' I didn't know what your availability was. Say, what kind of a victim of a terrifying kidnapping doesn't go and *ask* when and where to meet for an exchange?" Tisk tisk.

He surveys his mess. "Oh, yes—I'm not finished. Most of this decoration is for *me*, believe it or not!" He picks up a battered leather coat, onto one side of which he's messily sewn about half of the colorful fringes that are scattered around the room; and then tosses it back down. "I always start preparing too late, I never figure out what I'm doing for Mardi Gras until the last minute!"

There's a ding like an elevator arriving. "Ah! But you're not here for costumes, you're here for a cake!"

Sir Pentious

.... OH it's for a COSTUME? And here Sir Pentious thought Alastor was decorating.... He kind of looks sheepish a moment, then clears his throat. The reminder of cake has him smiling again.

"YES!! I ENJOYED THE PHOTOGRAPH VERY MUCH, IT LOOKSSS TASTY. I AM EAGER TO TRY IT."

Alastor

"Then by all means!" He leads Sir Pentious toward the kitchen.

"Do you want to try it here? Hard to play the whole king cake game without enough participants to eat the whole thing at once, but! There's no reason you can't eat it bit by bit, really."

Sir Pentious

.... He makes a face......................

"I DON'T WANT TO *SHARE* MY CAKE....." Squint, "I WILL EAT IT WITH *YOU*, BUT IT'SSS MY CAKE!" A real gentleman, truly.

Alastor

"All right! It might take you a few days to find the winning slice, then. But hey! That guarantees you'll be the one to get it!" It's not the traditional way to play, but they're celebrating a Catholic holiday in Hell, who gives a fuck about tradition.

Sir Pentious

Who gives a FUCK indeed. He purrs, and gives Alastor's shoulder a *squeeze.*

"I IMAGINE IT MUSSST HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT TO MATCH MY SPECIFICATIONSSS, BUT YOU WOULD BE THE MAN TO DO IT!"

Alastor

He leans into the squeeze and beams at the praise. "I worked it out! It *was* a challenge, but I'm proud of the results! Just don't eat the cake in the dark."

Sir Pentious

Blink.

"WHY? THAT SSSOUNDSSS OMINOUSS."

Alastor

"What, do you want me to ruin the surprise?" The sweetest, most innocent smile.

He manages to maintain it for a couple of seconds before he cracks and laughs at himself. "Ha! No, I'm kidding, I haven't done anything to it, there's nothing you need to worry about—but you *do* need to eat it with the lights on."

Sir Pentious

He makes a RATTLING sound, face VERY close to Alastor's before he pulls back, "YOU GOT MY HOPESSS UP FOR SSSOMETHING, ALASSSTOR! BUT A TASSSSTY TREAT WILL HAVE TO DO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SSSOME WITH ME? I HAVEN'T BROUGHT ANYTHING MYSELF."

Alastor

"I don't tamper with friends' food." He tilts up his chin, as if turning his nose up at the very *thought* of such a thing.

Here's the kitchen and there's the cake, under a little lid to keep it fresh; he removes the lid with a flourish. It looks like the picture. Sans the knife hanging over it. "Oh, maybe a bite or two if you don't want your whole slice, but I don't really like cake." Says the guy who's been constantly baking cakes for the last week and a half. "Anyway! It's designed to be cut into eight sections, you can see from the ridges formed by the cake pan. Take whatever slice you want."

Sir Pentious

Hmmm.... Alastor doesn't like cake! Penny squints at him.

"YOU KNOW WHY YOU DON'T LIKE CAKE? BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE TEA. IF YOU LIKED TEA, YOU'D BE MORE CULTURED." He's got the shit eating GRIN. THIS MAN IS IN A GOOD MOOD.

He takes a plate, then a slice.... What does this cake taste like? Time to take a bite and find out!

Alastor

"Oh, is that the reason! Is that why it is! That's the cause and effect chain, enjoying tea causes you to enjoy cake." He elbows Sir Pentious lightly as he passes on the way to a cabinet. "You're lucky I'm not cultured, then. It's more cake for you." He grabs a bag of homemade jerky out of a cabinet—see, he's eating something too—and plops down in a chair near Sir Pentious.

The cake is, unsurprisingly, chocolate—but with a slight citrusy flavor mixed in. Although it was clearly made in a Bundt cake pan, Alastor took the trouble to slice it in half and add an extra layer of chocolate frosting in the middle, with additional colored sugar dyed black mixed into the frosting that makes it shimmer a little.

Alastor watches intensely as Sir Pentious takes his first few bites of the cake; but he loses interest after a few seconds and monches his jerky.

Sir Pentious

Alastor losing interest in watching Pentious eat? THE NERVE!

Sir Pentious is DELIGHTED by the flavor, and he's actually humming out "Mmmm"s as he eats it, eyes closed in pleasantness.

He's doing that thing where he rubs a cheek while he chews. Yumby.

Alastor

HAHA NEVER MIND it's cute and now he's interested again. "I take it you like it!"

Sir Pentious

"I DO, YOU ALWAYSSSS FIND A WAY TO OUTDO YOURSELF. HOW DID YOU COME BY THESE INGREDIENTSSSSS? HAVE HELP SSSSECURING THEM?" He gently dabs ( <:dab:618107764211712020> ) a napkin to his mouth.

Alastor

"All box mix, actually! Chocolate and lemon. I got them at one of those upscale grocery stores where the demon nobility goes, they've got a fairly well-stocked section of mortal realm imports. It just takes a couple of substitutions from the box recipe."

Sir Pentious

"HMMMM.... BOX RECIPES, HMMM...." He's going to eat more of his slice. It is rather filling.

"WE SHOULD HAVE TEA! OR, *I* SHOULD HAVE TEA."

Alastor

On his feet! "We've got *some* running around. What kind?" He opens a cabinet and pushes aside like five varieties of coffee looking for tea behind it.

Sir Pentious

"EARL GREY." He swivels his head to watch Alastor dig around.

Alastor

“Earl Grey,” Alastor muttered. He shoved aside a half dozen boxes of herbal tea. “Ah-ha! Here we are!” He retrieved the tea triumphantly, then went looking for the other supplies they’d need.

Once he had the water heating on the stove, he plopped down next to Sir Pentious again. “What teas *do* you like? Besides Earl Grey.”

Sir Pentious

His tongue wiggles as he thinks, and he begins cutting another piece of the slice with his fork.

"ENGLISH BREAKFAST!" Prr prr prr. "HAVE YOU HAD IT? NO OF COURSE NOT. IT HAS A SWEET, ALMOST FRUITY TASTE TO IT."

Alastor

“I’ve had it! At some point. As I recall, it tasted quite a bit like tea.” He smirked. “I’m not a fan of sweetness, either.”

Sir Pentious

"BOTTOM OF THE POT, *GRAINY* BLACK COFFEE FOR YOU ONLY, EH? HOW *DO* YOU SURVIVE." Snort, "OH RIGHT! DEAD, TOO! NYAAAA HA HAAAAAAA!"

Alastor

With great dignity, Alastor said, “I drink the *highest quality* of coffee. Look at this.” He leaned back in his chair to open the cabinet and point at a coffee bag with a skull and crossbones on it. “Look at that! This is almost pure caffeine!” Studio laughter. “But seriously! I have a refined palate, and it applies as much to coffee as it does to anything else.”

Sir Pentious

"ALASSSTOR, YOU EAT PEOPLE, HOW REFINED CAN IT GET? OR IS IT SSSSIMPLY SSSO BECAUSE YOU SSSAY IT ISS?"

Alastor

“I don’t eat people because I have *low standards.* If I had low standards, I’d be willing to choke down whatever hellish fauna’s ground-up offal is used to make the patties in fast food joints.” He sticks out his tongue, bleh. “I eat people because my standards are *high.* The simple fact is that quality ingredients are hard to get in Hell, and meat is no exception! Hell’s native game is *incredibly* difficult to hunt—and not particularly delectable, at that. Imported meat is expensive, rare, and often spoiled when you get it from the long trip to Hell. On the other hand, sinner meat is flavorful, *much* easier to hunt, self-replenishing, and comes in varieties that taste very similar to familiar mortal domesticated animals. I’ve *discussed* it on my *blog.*” He says this all self-importantly.

Sir Pentious

HEE HEEEEEE! He's giggling to himself while Alastor goes on his rant. It IS very informative, and he's certain he's read that before.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! THOUGH ONLY IN HELL COULD IT BE ARGUED IN THAT MANNER! CANNIBALS ARE NOT WELL REGARDED IN THE LIVING WORLD."

Alastor

“Well of course not, cannibals in the living world kill people! Cannibals in Hell only *inconvenience* people.” He started counting off on his fingers: “Now, granted, almost all the premortem cannibals I’ve talked to have been Americans—that’s what you’ve got in the area—but generally they were eating people for one of four reasons: starvation; hatred; a fetish; or Catholicism.” Studio laughter. “That’s a communion joke for you—but the first three reasons stand. Plenty of postmortem cannibals started for one of those three reasons, sure—but more than you’d think got into it for the culinary convenience of it! Especially if they’re buying from the butcher instead of doing the hunting themselves.”

Sir Pentious

Alastor you probably intended that communion joke to be a fly by or maybe a light chortle, but Sir Pentious was also a catholic, and instead of just snorting, he launches into a full fledged WAAAAAH HAHAHAAAAAAA at the joke.

"*CATHOLICISM!!!!*" Look at him clap his hands together. Glee. He loves a groaner.

Alastor

He politely pauses for the uproarious laughter. A comedian is never going to complain when his audience finds his joke *more* funny than he expected them to—especially if he’s performing in front of his favorite audience.

Sir Pentious

Don't mind him, wiping tears from his eyes at that one. Fuck catholics!

"APOLOGIESSS, YOU WERE SSSAYING?"

Alastor

“Oh... I didn’t have anything to add to the point. Just the differences between antemortem and postmortem cannibalism.” A shrug.

He takes advantage of the slight lull in the conversation to hover over a teapot and the box of Earl Grey to set in front of Sir Pentious. Here, dump your own tea in, Alastor sucks at tea prep.

Sir Pentious

He's going to do just that, humming as he does. None of that 10 second steeping!!! DISGUSTING..

Once the bags are in, be gets back to finishing off his slice. No prizes in that one!

Alastor

And Alastor returns to his jerky. Ah, a moment of peaceful, companionable silence—haha just kidding. When it’s obvious neither of them is about to say something else, Alastor starts playing a peppy march.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is *happy* for it, though he attempts to change the channel by flicking Al's ear tuft.

Alastor

That’s not a dial, but he gets what Sir Pentious is attempting to do. The music switches from a march to the Mysterious Axman’s Jazz.

Sir Pentious

PREFERABLE.

Sir Pentious purrs, and once the tea has brewed long enough, he's going to pour himself a cup.

And then DIP some cake in it, HEE HOO we're living wildly.

Alastor

"I see why a tea-drinking man of *culture* also eats cake. So they go together, do they?”

Sir Pentious

"OH, SHUT UP, BEAN GUZZLER." Says the Leaf Drinker. He's laughing.

Alastor

“Oh, am I the one here who consumes beans! Where do you think chocolate comes from?” He’s laughing too.

Sir Pentious

"*COFFEE* BEAN GUZZLER!!! BUT, AH, TOUCHE."

He's done eating cake for now, and he's sipping the rest of the tea. He can handle the bits of crumb, he did this to himself.

"SSSO AFTER THISSSS, BACK TO YOUR COSTUME MAKING?"

Alastor

A long, *long* tired sigh. “Probably. I’ve only got—it’s still Friday, right?” He tilts his head, as if he’s *listening* for the time. “Yes, Friday—so, two days until the ball that one costume’s for. And the fancier costume, at that. Although I might need a break, my productivity is plummeting.”

Sir Pentious

Tongue flick.

"OHHH, DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE A SNAKE LIKE ME? MY MIND CONSTANTLY IN A STATE OF *FLUX* OVER IDEAS AND INSSSSSPIRATION!" HEEHOOHEE

Alastor

“Ideas, I’ve got. It’s the inspiration I’m missing. Inspiration and patience for the repetitive bits. I’ve been sewing pearls for *days.*” He laces his fingers to stretch his poor aching hands and mutters, “I should delegate this.”

A bright smile! “Is that your way of subtly hinting that you’ve got some recent inspiration you’re dying to share, or are you going to disappoint me?”

Sir Pentious

Oh, he HAS inspiration alright. He leans in closer, his Pentious Breath right in Al's face.

"YESSS, INDEED. YOU SSEEE, I'VE COME INTO A SSSPOT OF *KNOWLEDGE.* I'VE HEARD THAT LOO LOO LAND, YOU KNOW, THE AMUSEMENT PARK IN THE GREED RING? IT'SSS BEEN BLOWN TO SSSMITHEREENSSS. LOTSSS OF METAL JUSSST FOR THE *TAKING.* WHILE I HAVE IDEASSS, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TERRITORY AND ACCESS TO METALSSS IN HELL." He sits back, "ALASSS, I'VE NO WAY TO *GET* TO THE DAMN PLACE. NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL SSSWAY, AS IT WERE. NOT SSSINCE I ARRIVED IN HELL, ANYWAY."

Alastor

Smells like tea and cake.

Alastor blinks in surprise. "Lucifer's park?" Who would fuck with Lucifer's park—? "Oh, no—Greed ring. The knock off."

That sounds like a solvable problem. Alastor leans forward, chin propped up in his hand, grinning wider. "Well, I wouldn't be much of a dancer if I didn't have sway!"

His mind is already working—what's an amusement park going to have in it? Roller coasters? Elaborate moving games? Lots of good mechanical bits and bobs, no doubt. And this Sir Pentious isn't the only one Alastor knows who'd benefit from those supplies. "If I get you in there, I get to salvage anything *you* don't want. Sound fair?"

Sir Pentious

"WELL, YESSS, NOT LYU LYU LAND. LOO LOO LAND!"

HMMMM? He leans closer. Their faces could be TOUCHING.

"AND WHAT NEED HAVE YOU FOR SSSSSCRAP, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

“*Lyu Lyu.*” Wheeze. Is that how it’s pronounced? “*I* don’t need it. But the other you that’s been around lately does, and I promised I’d help him get fresh materials at a discount. No better discount than free!”

Their faces ARE touching. Alastor closes the last little distance to squish their cheeks together and flings an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders. “Now, this is your little expedition—you’re putting in the research and the labor, so of course you get first pick, I’m not going to ask you to hand over any of the good stuff to an alternate who isn’t even coming along. But! Anything you *don’t* want, I don’t see any harm in hauling it over to him and asking whether he can make use of it!”

Sir Pentious

Ah, the CHEEK SMOOSH. Cheeks can smoosh other cheeks!!! Sir Pentious puts his own arm around Alastor, and Grins wide.

"AH, WHAT A *GOOD SSSSAMARITAN* YOU ARE, ALASSSTOR!" Hee hoo. His tongue flicks in thought..... No maybe don't tease him right now.

"VERY WELL, THEN! WHATEVER I DON'T WANT, YOU CAN HAVE! ANOTHER QUESTION IS METHOD OF *RETRIEVAL.* ARE WE RELYING ON YOUR FRIEND HENTAI FOR THAT?"

Alastor

“You know me! Utterly selfless! The most helpful man you’ll meet!” He knows he’s left himself wide open for teasing. He’s very grateful Sir Pentious didn’t take the opportunity.

“With the airship still out of commission, I suppose we’ll have to, won’t we?” He pokes Sir Pentious, “That’ll be the other way you pay me—bring snacks for me. Working with Hentai is hungry work.”

Sir Pentious

SNORT.

"WHAT TO BRING FOR THE MAN WHO HATES EVERYTHING! NO SWEETS, NO TEA! ONLY FISTFULS OF MEAT!"

Alastor

A scandalized hand over his heart. “Sweet and tea are the *only* things I hate! Have you ever seen me turn down one of your sandwiches? *Really,* now.” He pokes Sir Pentious’s arm. “Are you just having fun at my expense, or do you really think my tastes are that limited?”

Sir Pentious

"WHY *ALASSSTOR*, WHEN HAVE I *EVER* HAD FUN AT YOUR EXPENSE?" He's saying it ever so dramatically, very sarcastic as he even winks AND nudges him.

"SSSSANDWICHESSS IT ISSSS. SSSTILL NO ALCOHOL, MMM?"

Alastor

The most *dramatic* eye roll. He arches his brows and tilts his head to get more eye rolling in.

“Oh, social drinks are fine right now—but I don’t think alcohol mixes well with moving heavy metal or communing with eldritch deities. Maybe once our work is finished.”

Sir Pentious

He's beaming suddenly, and he gives Al a KISS on the forehead before backing up.

"A *DEAL!* ALTHOUGH, I MAY REFRAIN FROM ALCOHOL AS WELL. PERHAPSSSS GINGEMBRE INSSSTEAD!" GOLLY he's in a good mood. Look at him smiling!

Alastor

Hold on, give Alastor a second, fireworks are going off behind his forehead and he’s trying to enjoy the show.

“What is that, some kind of ginger ale?” His brain translates *gingembre* as plain old *ginger,* and he doubts Sir Pentious is suggesting that a chunk of root is an adequate substitute for alcohol. “Sure! We can drink while we work that way.”

Sir Pentious

Prrr prrr.

"YESSS, GINGER ALE! I HAVE A REFRIGERATOR ABOARD THE AIRSHIP, KEEPSSSS THEM PRACTICALLY *FROZEN.* YOUR LIPSSS WILL SSSTICK TO THE BOTTLES, NYA HA HAAAAAAA!"

He's finished off his tea! Pours himself another cup...

Alastor

Static static.

“Now that sounds like a trap! I guess the only way to find out for sure is to try one, isn’t it!”

He gives Sir Pentious enough space to drink his tea—but, as long as he’s already over here, decides to keep leaning their shoulders together.

Sir Pentious

He's fine with this, he's still purring in that terrifying way. Habby.

"SSSO WHO ARE YOU DANCING WITH TO GET US INTO THE GREED RING, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

“Oh, I’ve got a few people I can call on! I hear Paimon’s been looking for a way to spite Mammon; Stolas is usually pretty lax with sinners, he’s easy to bargain with; perhaps Tommy, he owes me one... I’ll narrow it down!”

Sir Pentious

HMM! Exciting. Sir Pentious is about to SPEAK when his phone VIBRATES against his breast. OH!

Time to grab his phone and INVESTIGATE....

Alastor

Time to lean over and EAVESDROP.

Sir Pentious

Well, he's obscured the screen enough from Alastor, but....

```Congratulations on your imminent fatherhood, Sir Pentious. Please come collect your wife at your earliest convenience. Which had better be now.```

OH. OH. GASP. JELLY EYES. All of his eyes are JELLY EYES. Look at this man, he's looking like he might COLLAPSE!

"*OHHHH* I HAVE TO *GOOOO*!"

He's STILL holding the phone but, YOU KNOW. He's going to show the screen to Alastor, listen that's his best friend he wants him to KNOW!

Alastor

*Oh!!* Alastor grabbed Sir Pentious’s arm. “*Really* this time? Not unfertilized eggs?”

Sir Pentious

"REALLY, THISSSS TIME!" *SNIRFFF.*

"WE WEREN'T SURE, BUT HILDA ISS RATHER THOROUGH...." His voice is all SQUEAKY.

"I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!!"

Alastor

Alastor squeezed an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders. “Well, *congratulations!* Oh, you must be *thrilled!* How many is it?” He had to raise his voice to be audible over the cacophony of invisible party noisemakers and an old song that started singing in the background: “—*pretty baby! Won't you come and let me rock you in my cradle of love, and we'll cuddle all the time. Oh I want a lovin' baby and it might as well be you, pretty baby of mine—*”

After a good long squeeze, he let go and swatted Sir Pentious’s arm. “What are you still doing here, you’re supposed to be with your wife! Go, get! Get out of here! Take your cake!”

Sir Pentious

He BEAMS, Sir Pentious is GIGGLING. How many?

He goes red faced, raising a finger to speak, UNTIL HE'S BEING SWATTED! "OH, YESSS, AT ONCE! AT ONCE!"

He gathers up the cake! And he gives a TIP of his hat to Alastor before he's HURRIEDLY slithering out the door!

... Peeks back in. "THISSSS ISSS JUSST THE CONFIRMATION, BY THE BY! NO EGGSSS YET! OKAY, TA TA!" The door closes!!

Alastor

He waves. “Give Valera my congratulations!”

The music slowly peters out once the door closes.

... Hold on, how were there no eggs yet if Valera was already pregnant? He should have asked. Whoops.

[radiikill]

Seashells by the Sea Shore

(a/n: something fun I wrote a while ago to get the creative flow going, my majimako fic tho? i’m trying i swear)

Mammon’s heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. They’d been at the beach for a couple of hours now, everyone doing their activities. Him and Satan were trying and failing to get a picture of Lucifer, whenever they could. Beelz was eating, Belphie was sleeping. Asmo was with Momo, which only irritated Mammon a little.

Maybe not a little. When Mammon saw Asmo trying to get way too close to her on the floatie, capsizing it felt like a natural reaction.

Momo’s outfit was distracting. It was a simple one-piece, but it hugged her body nicely. Her smile lit up the already bright beach. Though, it seemed like everyone wanted her attention. Somebody wanted to eat with her, nap with her, or build sand sculptures. It was infuriating. He was impressed by how well she took the requests. She would always just smile widely or laugh.

It didn’t look like she was forcing her to complete these requests. Momo looked like she enjoyed everything. He appreciated it. All of his brothers were important to him, and he wanted her to get along with them.

That doesn’t mean he wanted them hogging her all the time.

Now, he was searching intensely for something to give her. It had been a long time since he’d been to the beach, so he wasn’t sure where to look. His eyes landed on chunks of flat shells; the colors were bright; he was ecstatic. Momo would love this. Scanning the beach and found Momo eating a popsicle with Belphie.

“Hey Momo, can you come here for a second,” he said as he walked towards the pair. Belphie glared at him.

“Really? Now you have to interrupt?” Belphie huffed.

“You spent enough time with her, come on Momo, I wanna show you something,” Mammon replied, looking at the blonde. Momo gave Belphie a small smile and got up.

“I guess I’ll have to see what you’re so pumped about,” Momo said, wiping her hands along her thighs. - The silver-haired demon led his human towards the edge of the beach, shells laid along the shoreline. Momo was curiously looking at them, and then he pointed to a bright pink shell.

“Look at that one! Isn’t it pretty.”

She smiled again, “it’s beautiful.” Mammon’s heart was racing again, especially since she was close, eyes sparkling, enamored by the shells.

“Are you happy?” he asked. Heat rosed to his face, realizing that the question came out more serious than intended. Her head tilted at the question, eyes squinting as she pondered her answer.

“I am,” she said, “why do you ask?”

“I-I just wanna figure out what makes you happy.” Fuck. He did not need to say that out loud. Mammon felt like he was on fire. Momo’s eyes widened, then she laughed. The girl was beaming.

“Mammon, you idiot. You know plenty of things that make me happy.” The way she said that made his heart flutter. The teasing tone was apparent. She never honestly thought he was stupid. There were moments when she got angry at him, but they always came from a place of concern.

“Well, I could know more,” he said slowly.

He rummaged around in his pockets, searching for the specific shells he found this morning. Gently reaching out towards her hand, he held it, so Momo’s palm was facing up. Giving the gift to her was nerve-wracking, but seeing the way her eyes lit up was worth it. She looked closely at the chunky shards in her hands, prodding them with her finger.

“I found these for you, apparently they’re called sea glass,” he said, the words coming out rushed. Before she could respond, Asmodeus cut her off, his sly grin piercing Mammon’s good mood.

“Aw, Mammon, I bet you were looking all morning for those,” Asmo teased.

Mammon glared at the blonde, “get out of here Asmo.” The demon raised his hands defensively, laughing.

Momo’s dark eyes softened, she tucked a strange of hair behind her ear. “Thank you,” she said, looking directly at him.

“N-no needs to thank me, I don’t need it,” Mammon responded, blushing profusely.

“Mammon, you gotta be more honest about your feelings,” Asmo snickered.

“Asmo, leave.”

“Fine fine, I’ll leave.”

-

After Asmodeus left, they walked along the beach, searching for more shells. Momo talked about the beaches she’s been to in the human realm, and how cold some of them could be. She mentioned boardwalks and how there is usually lots of games and food.

‘I’d love to go with you someday,” she said, “maybe you can visit the human realm when I go back.”

“I’d like that,” Mammon said, “I gotta bless the human realm with my presence more often.”

“If Lucifer lets you,” she teased.

As they were talking, Mammon’s eyes focused on a prickly shell. He pointed at it, commenting on the spikes.

“It’s sorta like you,” Momo teased.

Mammon snorted. The more he thought about it, he could be prickly. So he just laughed it off and agreed with her. Though, he hoped he was never to prickly towards Momo. As they were searching the beach for more shells, their hands bumped, Mammon quickly apologized, stuttering at the unexpected contact. Then she took him by surprise and slid her fingers into his.

“H-hey, if you do that, I won’t let go,” he said.

“Then don’t,” she replied. The temptation rose to press a kiss against her hand.

He scoffed, and they continued to walk along the shore, searching for more shells.

“Why don’t we turn this into a game,” he smiled, “let’s find shells to trade.” Momo nodded.

“I’ll go that way,” she pointed her finger behind her. Mammon gave her a thumbs up and went the opposite direction.

He could never tell her that he was taking this search seriously. Mammon wanted to find her something special, besides sea glass. He shuffled across the sand, hoping to find something hidden underneath. If he could find something extra special, she’d remember this time with him specifically. He wanted to outshine any time she spent with his brothers.

When he saw the rainbow shell, he knew it was the one. The shell was bright, but the closer he looked at it, he noticed the more delicate colors. Similar to his human. When he first met her, he thought she was plain and fragile. The more time he spent with Momo, he realized how complex she was. Incredibly sweet, stubborn, and too nosy for her own good.

Momo was standing by their initial position, looking towards the horizon. She looked deep in thought, her fingers were running through her strands absentmindedly. Beautiful, he thought to himself. When she noticed him drawing closer, she turned towards him, hiding her hands behind her back. “Looks like you’re plotting something,” Mammon said.

She shrugged, “hold out your hands.” Mammon complied, and Momo placed the prickly shell in his hand. The man couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Really? The prickly one?”

“It’s my favorite,” she said, smiling. Mammon eyed her, trying to search for some hidden meaning.

Clearing his throat, Mammon pulled out the rainbow shell. “Well,” he said quietly, “this one is my favorite. It reminded me of you.” She took the rainbow shell in her hand and rotated it under the sunlight. “This is extremely pretty,” she said.

He wanted to say, like you but realized how cheesy that was. Maybe he should’ve told her. Perhaps he should tell her how much he cherished her, and how much he loves spending time with her. Thoughts were swirling through his head, he wanted to tell her everything.

“Hey guys, food is ready!” Leviathan yelled.

Fuck, he thought to himself. “Right when things were getting good,” he said, rubbing a hand behind his head. When he started to turn away towards where his brothers were eating, he felt his wrist get tugged back. He looked curiously at Momo.

“What is it?”

“Thank you, really,” she said earnestly, and she started to move closer to him. Mammon’s heart pounded again, he felt like he’d pass out.

“W-what are y--,” he sputtered out. The sentence stuck in his throat as he felt her lips make contact with his cheek. She looked directly at him, her eyes sparkling, a small smile forming on her lips. Once she saw his expression, she laughed so loudly Mammon felt like all the blood in his body went to his face.

“You’re so cute, Mammon,” she said.

“S-shut up, you can’t just do that without warning,” he was sputtering, everything felt like he was self-destructing.

She shrugged again, “let’s go eat.” The human grabbed his hand and led him towards the rest. Mammon realized even if she didn’t remember this day, he’d remember it forever.

[riftimagines]

Spirit Blossom!Thresh x Shadow Assassin!Kayn

This is literally just smut with a hint of plot. I’m not the best at writing smut but I was inspired to write this after someone, you know who you are :3, introduced me to this ship and we shared a lot of headcanons with them in different AUs but this is the one that came out. LOL. Also I recently made a A03 acc. called RiftWrites where I’m probably going to post my one shots there because Tumblr is kinda annoying with posting long stories RIP.

Warnings: Smut, Blood mentions, This has Thresh ffs XD

The smell of blood and death thickly floated in the air. The invading Noxians stood no chance against the blurry shadow that swept through the field and cleaved through them like animals for slaughter. It was like a creature from their worst nightmares but this creature was no creature but in fact, a man. The sheer speed and fluidity of his moments made him look like a living shadow, something that was created by magic and in a way was. The gifted shadow magic Sheida Kayn possessed was only enhanced further by the defeat of the Darkin scythe, Rhaast. Its defeat gave him unholy amounts of power and transformed the young man into a terrifying shadow assassin. His power showed on this day as there was more blood then grass on this once pristine grassland. Bodies lay askew where flowers once bloomed and from the corpses rose a particular bloom. A Spirit Blossom. This year was the year they had returned after thirteen years and now sadly they would leave again and with them the souls of the dead of this land both Ionian and Noxian. The sky began to fill with the blossoms of the dead Noxians and began to float away, good riddance. Now to get rid of what little was left.

In the not so far off distance a force was awakened. The sounds of lost spirits called out and from the realm of the dead came a seeker of said souls, a demon that sought to collect all the spirits and show them their true potential. Its unnatural purple skin and white hair contrasted against the natural hues of the forest. It seemed not to care as it stood out for anyone to see its vision became set as the brilliant flowers in the sky sang to collect them.

“No worries little spirits, your safe with me now.” Its reverberated voice rang out. From its left side it brought forth a lantern in the shape of a demons face almost similar to his own. A smile curled upon its lips from beneath its golden jaw plating as the Spirit Blossoms came down and closer to him. The spirits are completely unaware of what was happening when the lanterns mouth suddenly opened and began to pull all the souls into it. So many spirits to gather today, like harvesting wheat freshly cut in fact they seemed like they were. The Spirit Blossoms were fresh, very fresh, and seemed to becoming from a certain direction, interesting. Curious as to where they were coming from the demon begins to walk towards the origin of all these blossoms while gathering them a long the way. It did not take long for the purple hued evil to find the source. A battlefield, how quaint. There had been much delectable suffering and pain. Ah, if only he had heard the screams, the sweet tones of misery. As if on command of thought, the sounds of screaming and wailing called, now that was a lovely sound he could not resist. The siren sounds cried out like the most beautiful chorus and soon lead to its singers.

The bodies fell left and right as a blur of blue and darkness swooped through the poor mortals and razed them. There was no mercy, only pain just like the demon liked it. Its bright lavender eyes became transfixed at the lithe form doing a dance of death leaving blood and agony in its wake. Who was that glorious creature? It did not seem to notice the demon at the edge of the battle watching every deadly moment in awe. The dance continued for a few moments longer before the final howls of despair fluttered into nothingness. The shadow finally stops and reveals to the demon a divine looking man. He had never seen a human look so, alluring. His pale skin tattooed with dark lines that traveled from his eyes across his face, down his chest and completely engulfed his forearms. Such a lovely being, he must know more about this beauteous agent of death, no time like the present to make a blunt entrance. With a couple spins of its sickle it launches it at high speeds to the target and it snags its very soul.

Kayn is completely confused as a small scythe attached to a thick cord wraps around him. It should have been easy to cut but the cords were seemingly harder then steel and did not break, instead they pulled harder as the strangest looking fiend he’d ever seen comes flying at him. For a moment he feels panic as his powers don’t let him escape, the magic cord holds him still. No attack ever came though, just the sound of evil laughter fills his ears. He looks at the monster before him with wide eyes. What was this thing?

“How adorable, so confused and so scared. I won’t hurt you though little one. I am Thresh, collector of the Spirit Blossoms. Do not let my frightening visage fool you, I am but a humble guide to these poor spirits and bring them up to their full potential. It seems though you have found your full potential early, so tell me what are you my dear?” He coos softly. Kayn was having none of that though.

“I am Sheida Kayn, and I care not what you are monster I will not obey you!” Kayn’s scythe came barreling towards Thresh’s neck and had he been anyone else he would have been dead. The demon sighed then pulled hard on the chains sending Kayn into a tree and his scythe out of his hands.

“A feisty one aren’t you? I’m not surprised but make no mistake, I do know how to put wild spirits back in their place.” He says as he picks up the shadow assassin by the throat, pushes him against the tree and squeezes slightly. A sudden moan that catches both Kayn and Thresh off guard. A wicked grin spreads upon the demons face and Kayn seizes up. He squeezes again experimentally and again the soft moan flutters into his ears. Oh now that is a nice sound. Kayn suddenly feels fear, a feeling he had not felt in a long while, and tries to phase though the tree only to be stopped by the white cord wrapped around his waist keeping him from escaping.

“ Now, now, little pet, don’t leave so soon, we just discovered something new! Here lets make this more interesting shall we? I believe the blossoms from this field should be enough.” Suddenly the demonic lantern opens up again and the Spirit Blossoms make their way inside. It’s eyes begin to blaze and the demon removes its hand from Kayn’s throat to call upon its power. A pulse of energy burst forth from Thresh and five ghostly purple walls seemingly arise from nowhere. The more startling part wasn’t the box that surrounded them now but the fact that the demon was changing. Its dark purple skin became a light alabaster, hair a dark black with purple hues, and its horrifying mask was now replaced with a gorgeous man. It was so jarring to see something so terrifying turn into something so beautiful. Thresh smiled smugly at Kayn, no one could resist this form, perhaps now he’d get more of those lovely sounds.

“Ah, how is this? Not to bad if I do say so my self. Now where were we?” His hand returns to grasp at his neck this time though his other hand begins to graze his sharp claws down his chest. A nail catches his skin and leaves a little scratch it its wake making Kayn hiss. Thresh’s eyes glaze slightly at the sound of pain, so heavenly, he needs more. Dark purple nails trace all over Kayn’s torso leaving more cuts and scratches all over but none enough to be agonizing or lethal, Thresh is having too much fun with this one for him to die yet. Through the rough ministrations on his body Kayn’s breath had hitched and his nerves turned on to high. Every touch was doing something to him that wasn’t really pain. A tight, warm feeling starts to form in his lower abdomen. Thresh can see a redness spreading upon Kayn’s face.

“Enjoying your self? It’s rude to keep all that pleasure to yourself you know?” With unseen swiftness the small gap between them is closed and their lips are intertwined. It’s a rough and hungry kiss almost like he couldn’t get enough. Kayn had not experienced much physical affection but this was something greater then those little kisses he’d seen couples share. They are both bare chest to bare chest breathing hard into each other until Kayn could not breath. They break panting hard and Thresh’s eyes are fully glazed over and glowing deviously. In a split second his mouth is on Kayn’s exposed neck and is biting down hard. Kayn yelps loudly then goes into a deep moan as Thresh works the bite into what will be a deep dark bruise. The tight feeling rushes downward to his groin and an involuntary buck of his hips follows. The demon stops biting his neck and moves up to nip at the shell of his ear before whispering low and deep.

“Such an eager little spirit. You want me to claim you don’t you? Want me to collect your body and soul?” Kayn can’t speak the sheer amount of arousal is drowning his mind but he can feel himself nod and his hands try to pull Thresh closer. The cord unfurls its self from his waist and find new residence binding his hands instead now. Thresh raises his hands and the cord upwards to a branch to keep Kayn’s hands up.

“Yes, I know you want me but you’ll get me as I give myself to you. No sooner, no later.” He purrs lowly. With hands now bound and pinned above his head it gave the devious soul collector free reign of Kayn’s body. His talons raked across his body and mouth working anywhere that looked like a tender spot. Scratches and bruises start to decorate pale skin and leave their new owner writhing in pleasure. The firmness in his pants was agonizing, far more so then the slightly bloody cuts. Thresh was in a no better state. His normally composed visage was flustered across his face all the way to the tips of his pointed ears. His own member throbbing for attention.

Not wasting anymore time those claws were put to the test as they tore through the thick cords that held up Kayn’s pants effectively loosening and dropping them. Kayn gasps as his warm, hardened nether regions are exposed to the elements, clear fluid already seeping from the end. The demon growls deeply at the sight and is quick to rid himself of his binding clothing. Tossing them aside he strokes his manhood gently, electing a rumbling purr from his chest. Kayn can see through half lidded eyes the demons length and a shiver runs down his spine. He isn’t familiar with others genitals but he is bigger then himself by a bit and quite thick. Thresh moves in again and lifts Kayn’s hips up to line up before pushing in. Kayn’s eyes go wide at the foreign felling of being filled. He’s moaning, writhing and trying desperately to get accustomed to this new sensation. Tears start to pool and fall down his face which are then licked up by the eager demon.

“Easy now my pet, just relax. Let me handle everything.” He coos into his ear and leaves a kiss where a stray tear is falling. The pleasantries are gone in moments though as Thresh begins to move. The pace starts slow but then begins to build and soon its a quick relentless pace that leaves Kayn completely breathless. His whole body feels limp as if all his strength has left him, the strength of the demon alone is the only thing keeping him up. Every harsh thrust seems to hit a spot that has his eyes rolling back and him moaning and gasping loudly. The sounds and the sensation of Kayn tightening around him sends Thresh on a marking spree, covering as much skin as he can into deep colors. It’s all so much for Kayn and in a moment of bliss his sight blurs and he can finally feel himself release. He can hear a deep animalistic growl and for a few seconds his hips are grabbed so hard he swore the bone would bruise as Thresh rams into him sending Kayn’s blurred vision into pure white and his hearing completely gone. The whole world fades for who knows how long before his vision is restored and the demon is slowly pulling out of him. He now hangs there on the tree limply, unable to will his now exhausted muscles to move even an inch. A whine escapes him as Thresh fixes himself up.

“Now, now, I know you miss me. I’ll get to you in a moment.” He places his clothing back into place and almost seems like nothing happened to him at all. He goes to the side of the tree and binds the forgotten scythe to his back before coming around and pulling Kayn’s pants back up. As soon as the cord to the sickle is removed Kayn drops like a rock right into Thresh’s arms. His body is too weak to fight him off and lets his head lull onto the demons shoulder. He smiles down at the tired human in his arms and places a small kiss upon his crown.

“You may rest now dear. I won’t let anything happen to you. Your mine now you know, nothing will take you from me and you certainly won’t get away from me from now on. So get used to being where you are for your going to be there for the rest of eternity.” He says all too gleefully while holding him tightly. Kayn thinks for a moment of what he’s done. He’s now bound to a soul taking demon, but a soul taking demon that has given him more attention in about an hour then he’s received in his entire life. Thats not entirely to bad he thinks. He looks up at the handsome face that looks down at him with a smirk and dips down to place another kiss, this time to his lips, that’s most certainly something he could get used to.

[thechocoboos]

Baby, You’re my Angel

This has literally been sitting, waiting to be posted for about a year, now. Split into two parts for your reading pleasure. Part II

Summary: Prompto is your guardian angel and whOOPS he fell in love. Word Count: 4063 Warnings: Swearing Genre: Fluff/bit of Angst Pairing: Angel!Prompto/Reader

Prompto Argentum was an angel. He didn’t know how he died, he didn’t know why he was chosen--all he knew, was that he was an angel. He was rather new at it, too, having only just finished up training.

For most angels, their training was only a few hundred years. For Prompto, it was a solid one thousand. As it turned out, he was a little bit of a clumsy one; he failed a good few times on his Guardian Angel Exams and managed to cause a couple mass extinctions in other realms. Needless to say, his higher ups weren’t always big fans of him.

"Prompto,” Cor had sighed after the thirteenth failed assassination-prevention quiz, “If you fail one more time, we’re going to have to put you in the secretary office.”

The secretary's office was notoriously painstaking and had a high turnover rate. Most angels knew of at least a few others who went crazy in that god forsaken place--the amount of paperwork a single angel had to go through? Ridiculous. Not to mention the prank calls from… down there. There were stories of angels going crazy from the amount of times a demon would prank call them and say, “Hey, is your fridge running? Yes? wELL mAyBe yOu sHoUlD gO cAtCh iT!11!!” 

Besides, Prompto wanted nothing more than to be a Guardian. He could feel his entire being pulled towards it--if he didn’t become a Guardian, well, he’d rather kiss his wings good-bye. Luckily, he did make it. And it didn’t take more than two extra exams.

“Nice job, Prom--only took a millennium,” Noctis had snorted when Prompto held up his official Guardian License in the cafeteria.

“Oh, shut it, Noct, at least I didn’t accidentally kill the last dodo bird,” Prom replied with red cheeks, recalling the rather lengthy court investigation that Noctis had to go through when the last one died on his watch.

“Actually, if I recall correctly,” A posh voice called from beside their table called, “I believe Noctis was acquitted.” Ignis hummed, leisurely sitting across from the two Guardians. Ignis knew the case very well--he had actually served as Noctis’ attorney.

There was a snort as Gladio joined them, “Acquitted, my ass,” Gladio muttered, “We know the truth,” He cast a dark look at Noctis, “Made my day hell trying to explain that shit to our superiors.”  

Noctis waved Gladio off. “It was fine, it’s not like the last bird could do anything on its own anyways--”

Ignis interjected before Gladio could go off on the consequences of Noct’s actions. “Now, before that turns into something rather ugly, Prompto, I have something for you--” He held out a pristine envelope, passing it over their trays with ease.

Prompto’s jaw dropped as he gingerly took the envelope with shaking hands. “Oh my go-”

“Careful, don’t want the big man upstairs hearing that.” Noct piped up.

“R-right, but, Ignis--is this…?”

Ignis gave a swift nod, “Thought I should hand deliver this one,” He said, dipping his spoon into his dark matter pudding.

Prompto’s eyes were big as he took in the envelope. It was a clean and white as freshly washed linen, each corner crisp and sharp, and its golden seal still in place. He took a deep breath, one hand slowly breaking the shimmering wax.

“Six, Prom, just open it, you’ll have plenty more in the future.” Noctis said, rolling his eyes with a smirk. Admittedly, the first assignment did always feel special.

Prompto gently tugged the paper from the envelope, pulling out the pristine paper with a shaking hand. His eyes were big as he read the very first words:

“Prompto Argentum, we are pleased to inform you of your first assignment--” He very nearly squealed. He did it. He was a Guardian. His face felt like it was going to split in half from the giant grin on it.

“Careful, Prom, you smile any wider and you might not have any face left,” Noctis smirked, ducking to avoid Prompto’s hand smacking him in the arm. 

“Shut it--I’m excited, okay?”

They all chuckled, Gladio leaning forward on his elbows and glancing at the paper. “So, who’s the lucky assignment?”

Prom glanced back at the paper, eyeing the file before him. “Uhm. Dunno. Some person named…” 

---------

Prompto was on the hunt for his assignment. It was his job to make sure they survived for a few months; he wasn’t sure why, most Guardians didn’t know what for, but all the higher ups say is that it isn’t their time yet. 

Of course, it went a little deeper than that, and there were rules to go alongside it. Most of it was just simple rules like, “Don’t fly under the influence” and “Avoid places meant for hell, such as New Jersey.” There was, however, the biggest rule of them all: don’t ever make contact with your assignment.

All meddling had to be indirect. Why? Another one of those no-explanation policies, but most assumed that it would create a bias or lead the assignment on to have an idea of… up there. And that couldn’t happen. Goodness, could you imagine if a human knew about the afterlife? Terrible, risky business. Still, it wasn’t anything Prompto would worry about. If there was one thing he couldn’t mess up, it was the Big Rule. 

Prompto flew around, hovering here and there as he tried to find his assignment. He glanced down at the file in his hand, staring at the assignment’s schedule once again, desperately trying to find where they would be. He started to panic--they were late.

What if he was too late? What if something happened and he didn’t save his assignment--on the first day--

He took a breath, catching sight of a familiar face. He glanced back down at his file, his assignment’s picture gazing back up at him. Just a normal human face. He looked back to the person in question. They were turning, their face coming into focus and then--

Prompto gasped. They were beautiful. Something in him dropped, his heart thudding in his chest. Then, he realized he was falling, straight from the sky with his gaze still locked onto his assignment. 

Then, they--you, looked up, catching sight of a young man falling from a tree, directly in front of you. He hit the ground with a pained grunt, his eyes still trained on you despite the pain of his expression.

“Holy fuck--are you okay?” You asked, your eyes big as you knelt down next to his. “Shit, that was a big fall, does anything hurt?”

Prompto was mesmerized. Your eyes were so clear, so soft and inviting. Whoever said that eyes are the windows to the soul--they were right. He couldn’t help but gaze at you like an idiot, your voice was music to him as he tried to commit every single bit of your face to memory.

“Shit, can you hear me?” You asked as the young man did nothing but stare at you.

Prompto managed to shake himself out of it. He jolted up, ignoring the pain, it would be gone in a moment. He nodded rapidly, “Y-yeah! I-I can hear you, sorry--that caught me by surprise, ya know?” His words were just as fast as his nods, his nerves shot to hell and his face turning bright red. “Not used to, uh, falling.” He hadn’t fallen since his first week as an angel.

You still looked so concerned, your brow furrowed as you looked at him, trying to find any hint of pain. “Are you okay, though? That was a big fall,” You mumbled, looking up at the tree. Funnily enough, none of the branches above you two looked anywhere near big enough to hold someone--

“Ye-ah--” His voice cracked nervously, and your eyes flickered back to him. He cleared his throat, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, I’m--I’m good.”

You nodded, uncertain. “Okay, uh, then--I’ll just, get going.” You replied, clearing your throat. “Glad you’re okay--” You went to walk around him, only to misstep. You ankle twisted, and you gasped as you felt yourself falling towards the road, the sound of a car horn blaring right behind you before--

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around you, pulling you back against a warm chest. Something lifted you into the air, and for a moment, you were weightless. A bright white feather passed you in the air, floating down. There was a millisecond of nothing but peace, the arms around you safe and comforting. You felt as though nothing could hurt you.

And then. You realized that you almost died. You were back on the ground, your near death experience replaying in your head. Gasping, you whipped around to look at your savior, the blonde man remarkably close to you, his previously nervous, blushing face was now serious. For a moment, you swore you saw a shadow behind him--a pair of wings. And then, it was gone.

“You--fuck, you saved my life.” You gaped, staring at him with wide eyes.

He snapped out of whatever daze he was in, looking as though he barely believed it himself. “I--I guess I did.” He managed a breathy laugh, scratching the back of his head. 

Prompto managed to look at you despite the sheepish look on his face, and the second your eyes met, he found himself lost once again. There was a moment, a solid moment where the two of you were gazing into one another’s eyes, seemingly frozen in one small eternity shared between no one but you two.

And then, Prompto realized something.

You saw him. You met him. You had contact with him--your guardian angel. Suddenly, sweat began to bead his forehead, the moment broken. His heart was beating quickly, whether from your shared moment or his panic, he didn’t know. He had broken the biggest rule there was--he fucked up.

“Oh, fuck me--”

Your head snapped up, a bewildered look on your face as he realized he said that outloud. Prompto’s face burned as you stared, startled. “Shit--sorry--I’m--uh--” He tried to think of something, anything to get him out of the situation. “Late for work!” He blurted, face bright red and heart beating out of his chest. He didn’t wait for a reply before he turned on his heel, literally running away from you.

Meanwhile, as Prompto ran away, you stared at his retreating back with a confused look on your face. Part of you felt deflated; he had saved your life, you felt as though you owed him something. Yet, another part of you was relieved. You decided to chalk the whole situation up to a weird morning and forget about it. 

----

“So, Prompto, how was your first afternoon on the job?” Ignis asked, sitting across from Prompto at a small human cafe. Prompto wasn’t supposed to stray too far from his assignment.

Prompto tried to answer quick enough, but he was silent for just a millisecond too long before he blurted out a quick, “Fine!”

Ignis glanced at Prompto, eyes narrowing as his coffee paused for just a brief second on his lips. Something had happened. “... Good. Although your silence is rather odd, I thought you’d have gone on for at least half an hour on the matter.” He noted, his green eyes slightly suspicious. 

Prompto managed a shrug, hoping his nervous sweat wasn’t noticeable. Ignis was his friend, and admittedly, Prompto wanted to tell him what happened. But at the same time, Ignis was also one of the higher ups, one of those angels involved with the rules--with The Office. If Ignis knew what had happened, he was required to report it, that much Prompto knew.

So, Prom kept his mouth shut. He only shrugged, “Honestly, it was kind of boring.” Prompto lied, feigning disinterest. “Thought it would be a little more interesting, to be honest.”

Ignis’ suspicion rose, though he kept it to himself. “Well, it is only the first day.” 

“Ha, yeah. I’m sure something will happen eventually.”

Ignis hummed, keeping an eye on Prompto as he sipped his coffee. “Yes, well, just make sure to abide by the rules.” 

Prompto stiffened for just a moment, barely noticeable to the human eye. But Ignis wasn’t human. He caught the movement with interest. Still, he said nothing. “Of course, Iggy, you know me!”

“Exactly why I worry.” Ignis replied, chuckling. 

-----

Prompto knew he couldn’t avoid finding you again. Despite broken rules, you were still his assignment, and he couldn’t very well let something happen to you. However, guarding you and keeping you unaware of the situation definitely became much more difficult.

He realized that not a day later, when he waited inside a coffee shop that you were due at in a few minutes. He kept himself towards the edge of the shop, a generic coffee in front of him and a laptop beside himself. He pretended to be busy, yet keeping an eye out for you.

You entered the shop not a minute later, looking tired and worn down as you approached the line with a slight sigh. You stood there for a moment, adjusting your backpack with a huff, seemingly unaware of his presence. Your gaze began to wander, and normally, that wouldn’t be a problem.

However, Prompto had broken Rule #1. He was familiar to you; it would be harder to stay unnoticed. This was proven not a moment later when your eyes landed on him. His eyes met yours, and once again, he felt something stir in his heart. It began to beat just a touch faster. 

He quickly looked away, hoping for the sake of his job that you dismissed it. Still, part of him--a very small part--desperately hoped that you hadn’t, that you had felt the same buzz of excitement, the same lingering tug that he felt. He tried to dismiss that thought as well, trying to crush that tugging curiosity before it could grow.

An entire millennium was spent getting him this job, he couldn’t lose it now, and he knew that whatever feeling bubbled up in his chest was definitely breaking some kind of rule. He took a breath, managing to push the hopeful tugging deep down, and risked a glance up, trying to get back to his job.

His efforts to squash his feelings immediately crumbed. You were standing in front of him, holding a beverage and a pastry. “Hey.” 

Prompto’s resolve was reduced to ash as he felt his face heating up, his stomach flipping. He smiled, against his will, as he returned the greeting. “Oh--hi!”

You stood there for a moment, looking awkward and embarrassed as a red tint bloomed on your cheeks. It made his smile grow and his chest tighten, wondering if all humans looked that cute when they blushed.

“S-so, uhm, you don’t have to accept this or anything--but I uh, grabbed this pastry for you. As a thank you. For saving my life.” You managed to say, your own nerves threatening to give you a heart attack.

Prompto froze. He felt warmth bloom in his chest as a tiny smile appeared on his face at your kindness. He had friends, yeah, but angels upstairs weren’t in the habit of giving each other things. 

“L-Like I said, you don’t have to accept but--”

“I accept.” Prompto interrupting, his cheeks glowing bright red. 

You froze, both relieved and stunned that he accepted your thanks. Smiling slightly, you placed the pastry down in front of him, “Uh, great, thanks--it’s, it’s just a cheese danish--I don’t know if you like those or anything but, I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t like them and--” You were rambling, your nerves growing more every second.

Prompto cut you off, “Thanks--really.” He smiled, much calmer this time. 

You nodded, managing a smile and starting to turn around.

Prompto felt himself panic for a moment. He didn’t want you to leave. He knew it was a bad idea, he knew it was against the rules, yet he couldn’t help but say something else. “Uh, wait a sec--”

You turned around, surprise flitting across your face.

“Do you wanna join me?” Prompto managed to ask, gesturing to the chair across from him. “It’s--it’s pretty crowded and there aren’t many seats left, so…” He scratched the back of his neck, trying to ignore his growing blush.

A smile bloomed across your face, and it was your turn to thank him. “Sure, thanks.” You took a seat, trying to calm your beating heart. There was something about this guy, and you didn’t know what, but something was calling out to you--tugging on your heart and urging you to be near him. As you placed your bag on the ground, you managed to tell him your name, trying to hide your blush behind your drink as you took a sip.

Prompto paused. He had thought your name many times, having read it over and over again as he tried to prepare for his first assignment, but to hear it aloud? It was something else entirely. He tried to keep himself from smiling like a damn fool. Your name was perfect to him.

“Nice name,” He managed to say, trying not to think about how much he loved it. How much he loved the way you said it. “I’m Prompto,” He smiled, breaking the danish in half as best he could and offering you the bigger half. He knew it was for him, but even so, he couldn’t bring himself to not give you something as well.

Together, the two of you munched on your halves of the danish, sipping on your drinks and occasionally making small talk. It was awkward; there was a strange, buzzing tension in the air that neither of you mentioned. Even so, there was an undeniable connection between the two of you, and neither one of you could keep yourselves from stealing glances at one another.

Sometimes, eye contact was made, and you would both look away with warm cheeks and thumping hearts.

Prompto ran into you a lot. At first, he tried to stay unnoticed, he really did. But he couldn’t. Every time he saw you, his heart started to thump louder and his chest would grow warm. His cheeks flushed a bright red and he could feel his heart hammering away in his chest. His eyes would light up, whether he knew it or not, and he swore his smile would grow just a millimeter more.

And everytime, you would see him, too, a smile blooming across your face and your own eyes twinkling slightly. 

He couldn’t not talk to you then. It was physically impossible--his chest would grow so tight if he tried to feign obliviousness that he couldn’t breathe. So he gave in, everytime.

You two would talk for a long time, Prompto hanging onto every syllable you uttered and his face aching from the foolish smile stretched across his face. You would reply to every sentence with interest, genuinely loving both his thoughts and the sound of his voice--it was so pleasant and warm that even in the coldest temperatures you were comfortable.

Eventually, Prompto started to approach you if he saw you. And then, you two started agreeing to meet up. You could call each other friends. It was bad. He knew it was.

Shit, you weren’t even supposed to know he existed--and you were starting to notice things. Namely how every ounce of misfortune was avoided when he was near. How he was the one who pushed you out of the way when an air conditioning unit fell from a window. How he nudged you just inches away from ankle-tripping cracks and puddles, hesitating at just the right moments to narrowly avoid cars and oblivious, bustling people who would have plowed right through you.

Finally, one day, you said something. “Prom, I swear, you’re like my lucky charm.”

He bristled immediately, not that you noticed. “O-oh, yeah? What makes you say that?” He stammered, trying to keep his panic from showing. 

You shrugged, glancing at him with a smile. “I dunno, when you’re around, it seems like nothing bad happens. I swear, you’ve saved my life at least seven times by now.”

47, actually. Not that he said anything. He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “Aw, I wouldn’t… say that.” He tried to brush it off, his eyes 

You laughed, nudging him. “Come on--you’re like magic. Crazy intuition or something, right?” You said, grinning. “You’re like my personal guardian angel,” You added, your cheeks immediately heating up. Admittedly, the idea piqued your interest.

Prompto felt his heart skip a beat. He tried to laugh it off, “Yeah, I guess my intuition is pretty spot on, huh? But an angel? C’mon. Angels don’t exist.” 

You smiled at him, “I dunno, you’re pretty angelic to me, Prompto.”

He immediately began to panic. “What? No, I’m not!” He rushed, urgency in his voice as fear flitted across his face. If you knew--oh god, if you found out--he didn’t have to finish that thought as you let out a bark of laughter. Relief coarsed through him.

“Oh my goodness, the look on your face--” You beamed, looking at him with bright cheeks and a big smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” You chuckled, pushing a bit of hair out of your face. You paused, the two of you stopping on the sidewalk, right next to a pastry shop.

Prompto watched as a serious thought seemed to cross your face. You looked at him, “In all seriousness, thank you--if you really did save my life that many times… You definitely at least kept me out of trouble.” You smiled, your gaze glancing away for a moment. “Just… thanks. You’re a really great friend, Prompto.” As you said this, your heart dropped slightly. You didn’t want to just be friends. But--

“Is that all we are?” Prompto asked suddenly. It was a bold moment, a ballsy moment. He liked you, he knew he liked you. He also knew that he was breaking at least another five rules by liking you--especially by saying it. But at this point, with how many rules were already broken, he didn’t mind breaking another one if i meant being with you.

His heart was hammering against his ribcage as he spoke again. “Is that all you want to be--friends?”

Your eyes met his, surprised. His face was bright red, each freckle popping and his blue eyes the most serious you had seen them. He was waiting for an answer. You barely heard yourself as you breathed out, “No.”

He seemed to gain some confidence, stepping forward, one hand gently nudging yours. Something buzzed in the air, tension weighing down on you as you moved your hand, fingers gently interlocking with his. A tiny smile fell across his face, and you knew there was a matching one on yours. Your nose brushed against his. When did you two get so close? 

Your lips touched. His were soft, plump against yours. You returned the pressure, lips parting. He tasted like the strawberry ice cream you two had split.

The tension lifted as you two pulled apart, blushes on both your faces, hands still interlocked. 

“Wow,” Prompto breathed, looking starstruck.

Your own eyes were wide as you managed a light chuckle. “Yeah, wow.”

There was a light note as your phone received a message. You glanced down, eyes widening. “Oh--shit--fuck,” You looked up at Prompto, feeling rather shitty for having to do this. “Shit, I’m late--” You stuffed your phone back in your pocket, looking up at him with a shy smile. “Thanks for today, Prom, I--I really enjoyed it.” Your cheeks were warm. “I’ll see you later?”

He nodded, a dumb little smile across his face. “Yeah, of course!”

You nodded, turning to go. A few feet away, you couldn’t help but look back, meeting his gaze with a silly little grin and almost tripping over your feet in the process. You tried to ignore his shaking shoulders as he chuckled, grinning away at you.

Prompto watched you leave, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t stop smiling, the feeling of your lips against his lingering and leaving him with a buzzing excitement. He turned around, ready to go on his merry way--

“Hey, Prompto. How’s the assignment going?” Noctis said, leaning against the shop window with his arms crossed.

Part II

[mal-warebytes]

A Day Out: Obey Me! Levi x Reader

*Knock* *knock* *knock*

You open the door to your room, 'no one's there', look around and lying on the floor is a brown box. "Yes! It's here!" You pick and the box and quickly shut your door. Walking over to plop down on your bed you start to open your package and pull off the tape holding it together. Sitting down you empty the box on the bed and start going through the contents of it. "Levi is going to be so surprised!" There's accessories, shoes, outfits and the main thing you were looking for... 2 tickets to the TSL convention in Tokyo. "Eeee! Now I just need to go find Asmo." You throw everything back in the box and head out to Asmo's room.

Once to his room you can barely hold your excitement and just waltz right in without knocking. "Asmooo dearrrr!" You hear a faint, "in the bathroom darling! You're lucky it's you and not one of my idiot brothers. Otherwise you'd be getting a stern talking to about just barging in like you own the damn place. Actually... I might just spank you so you learn a lesson." You walk around the corner, his in the tub. Nothing you haven't seen before so you just continue the conversation.

"Yea ok, maybe later you lusty little demon you, " you joke. "However, right now I need your beauty expertise." You toss a towel in his direction, he catches it before it hits the water.

"Oh, well in that case," he stands up and you turn away. "Oh darling, I get that you have this 'thing' for Levi but you could at least humor me every now and again. Don't be so shy!" He drapes the towel around his waist, "alright, alright head into the bedroom and I'll be right there." You walk on over to his bed and dump the box and lay everything out across the sheets. Asmo walks in dressed in a robe and sits down on the bed eyeing all the accessories and whatnot. "What is all this? Oh those are cute! Is that... NO! You didn't! Sweetie, is that? Is that... oh it is... You bought cosplay outfits! What fun!" Asmo picks up one of the outfits and holds it up to take a better look. "Honestly darling, they're... well ugly," he drops it on the bed. "You could find something... sexier?"

"They're The Lord of Shadow and Henry's outfits from TSL, and actually that's why I came to you," you pick up The Lord of Shadow's out fit and hold it up. "I need your help to alter this a bit for me."

He looks at you quizzically, "Oh? Well Levi is way better at alterations than I am, why don't you just ask him? I'm sure he'd love to..."

You cut him off, "I need you're help to make this one... um, slightly on the more sluttier side. Not like tooooo slutty but just enough to make a certain TSL fan.. yeaaaa. Let's just say I'm hoping this is going to be something Levi will never forget." You blush and hold the outfit up to your body. "I need you to make me completely irresistible, to even the shyest otaku."

Asmo, "Sweetie, I could dress you in sweats and have any man... err, demon for that matter, howling at you like a wolf to the moon. Now, strip down and let's get to work!"

A few hours later and Asmo is finally done. "Tada! Mmhm honey, I could eat you alive! I'll leave that to, well you know," he winks and pushes you in front of the mirror.

"It's perfect Asmo! Thank you!" you turn around and kiss him on the cheek, "do you have a jacket I could borrow? I don't want Levi to see me in this yet."

"I've got the perfect one!" He hands you the jacket and you throw it on, toss the rest of stuff in box and wave at him as you head out the door.

You walk down the hall heading towards Levi's room. 'Oh I better message Diavolo so Barbatos can meet us at the portal.' You love the fact that all you had to do was convince the future demon king that this trip was educational to learn about human pop-culture. He was so interested in what you had to tell him that he insisted you go. 'We'll be there in about 30 minutes. Thank you again!' Send. Now at the door of Levi's room, you knock.

*knock* *knock* "Levi! I got a present for you!" You hear a rustling of what sounds like Levi tripping over boxes, he more than likely purchased recently, as he scrambles to the door.

He throws the door open and eyes you suspiciously. "Why are you wearing a jacket? Are you going somewhere? Wait!? You said you had something for me?"

"Actually we're going somewhere..." you hand him the box. "You can't say no, Diavolo is having Barbatos meet us. Put this on and meet me downstairs in 15 minutes."

"Wait! What!? Diavolo? Barbatos? You're not making sense! Why are we meeting..." you push him in his room and shut the door.

"15 minutes!" You yell through the door, "don't be late or else!"

Levi gulps and looks in the box. He starts to pick through the items and starts to realize, "wait a second... is this... it is! It's Henry's outfit! What is this?" He sees a note at the bottom of the box. 'Stop drooling, put on the clothes and let's go!' Slightly embarrassed he complies and semi-excitedly changes into the Henry cosplay. Not wanting anyone to see him, Levi grabs a jacket, throws it on, peeks out the door and takes off down the hall. You hear him coming around the corner.

"Great! You're here," you look him over, "you're wearing the outfit right?"

Levi, "Yeeess, of course... I didn't really want to find out what 'or else' was... so? Where are we going?" He looked around nervously, he wanted to make sure none of his brothers saw him leave his room.

You grab his hand and head toward the portal, "you'll see!" Barbatos was there waiting to escort you both through. He bowed to the two of you and simply stretched out his hand toward the portal. "Whenever you're ready."

Levi gulped, "where are we going!?" He looked at you with a uneasy smile.

You raise the tickets up next to your cheek, "probably the most nerve-wracking, scariest, make you want to crawl into a hole and die, 'wish I never left my room' place in the three realms, ooorrrrr an otaku heaven. Guess you'll see." You shrug your shoulders, grab his hand and jump into the portal. Levi screaming in your ear, "Nooooooooo I change my miiiind..." as you're both dragged up to the human world.

As the portal light fades, Levi is still squeezing your hand and his eyes shut tight. "What's that sound? It's so noisy, where are we?" He slowly opens his eyes, "Is that? Are we!? Are we in Akihabara? Tokyo? ARE WE IN TOKYO!?" His eyes dart everywhere, "We are! We are, we are, we are! Wait!? What were those tickets you held up?"

You wave the tickets in the air, "you mean theeeese? Oh nothing special." You feather them in front of his face, "just tickets to the TSL convention."

"Tickets.. to.. TSL.. conven...," he looks like he's going to faint. You stand slightly behind him as he starts to fall backwards and push him back up.

"Come on! I figured you'd feel right at home if we popped up in Akihabara. Let's hit up Mandarake to see if they have any figures your missing, one of the maid cafés for lunch and then head off to the convention!" You grab his hand and head off into the crowd. You spend a couple hours shopping and finally finish up at the café. Levi has at least twice as many bags as you do by this point. "Slow down with the shopping Levi, otherwise you won't have any money left to spend at the convention." You look up at one of the many flashing signs and find the time. "We better head off, the doors have already been open for a little over an hour now." You both finally make it to the convention, hand the tickets to the door guy and enter into a whole world of TSL.

Levi has already stripped off his jacket and tossed it into one of the bags. "Thank you so much for this! I really feel like Henry!" a huge smile spreads across his face as he looks toward you. "Aren't you going to take off your jacket? It's starting to get pretty warm in here."

"Oh, yea... um, could you hold the bags for a minute then while I take it off?" you hand him the bags, "oh, and could you turn around?" He gives you an odd look but shrugs it off and turns around. You take off the jacket and tosses it at the back of his head.

"Hey!" he catches the jacket and turns around to face you. His jaw practically falls off. His mouth agape he manages to stutter out, "Lord offfff Shadows," he gets down on one knee, "please allow me to devote myself to your service." His hand is quivering as it reaches up to take yours and gently places a kiss upon it.

"I'm guessing I look ok?," you shyly giggle as he stands up. "Asmo didn't alter this too much, did he?"

"Noooo, you look aamazinnng!" he stands up, you notice something starting to bulge in his pants. "Um... maybe, maybe you should put the jacket back on." He looks around and casually put his hand in his pocket to try to cover what's happening. He starts to notice others staring at you as they walk by. His eyes scan the main entrance, he spots a janitors closet, "actually come with me." He grabs your hand and takes off towards the closet. Checking to make sure no one is watching he opens the door and drags you inside. "Ok we should be safe in here."

"Levi.. why are we in a closet? We're going to miss all the booths and activi..." his mouth is upon yours before you can even finish the sentence. "Mmhmm," your hands drop down to your side and you feel his fingers interlocking with yours. His tongue slowly enters and massages yours, sending shivers down your spine. You feel his hands start to glide up your arms making their way up to your face, cupping it oh so gently as the kiss deepens. You can feel his bulge grow, pressing against you as he slowly backs you up against the wall.

His mouth parts away from yours, "I think we're going to have to go to the next convention." He backs away slightly, "we need to go back home." He runs his hands through your hair, "I'm not letting anyone else see you in that outfit." He buries his face in your neck and starts to leave a trail of soft kisses up to your jaw. "This conversation will continue in my room." He places your jacket back on you and drags you out of the convention center back to the portal.

"Farewell Tokyo, until next time."

[yinyangswings]

Love & Legends Shifter AU

So I thought about the Dinae in the Love & Legends universe (have not read tales of the wild yet), but thought about what would happen if MC could transform into an animal. So I made my Shifter headcanon list.

General

They call themselves shifters. They do not know how they arrived to Earth, though MC later thinks that it may have been the Dinae that came to Earth at some point in similar circumstances as she did.

Shifters have evolved to remain as hidden as possible on Earth, due to the lack of magic known by humans. They do not showcase any features of their animal side. 

They can partially shift which makes them look the closest to the Dinae, though they usually don’t. 

While there are other mythological beasts/creatures on Earth such as vampires, werewolves, etc., shifters still keep themselves as much of a secret as possible. Technically they are were-creatures in this world, though they don’t like to admit it.

Due to the decades and centuries of separation, Shifters from Earth can be considered a different species than the Dinae in the Fantasy Realm

Shifters tend to stay in packs of similar species though packs of different species are not unheard of. 

Their clothes do not shift with them, so depending on the size, they either have to make sure they grab their discarded clothes, or have a spare set somewhere. 

Being stressed can affect their ability to shift. If they’re in animal form and they grow stressed they can’t shift back, if they’re in their human look form they can’t shift into animal form. In other cases the stress will make the shifter change randomly

August Falke 

MC can shift into a falcon. She enjoys flying, and feeling the wind through her feathers and did it plenty of times in Chicago as it wasn’t completely unheard of to see a falcon in the city.

When partially shifted, she gains wings on her back. She rarely does so due to the fact it normally ruins her shirts, until Solaire outfits her shirts with openings for the wings

She has severe anxiety when being caged, or in closed off spaces that have no obvious windows. 

She only manages to stay relatively calm the first time she’s thrown in the cells because she’s confused as hell as to what’s going on. 

She almost has a panic attack when Alain kidnaps her the first time and practically has one when he attempts to take her again. The Ice Crystal incident is what finally invokes a particularly severe fight or flight instinct mode due to stress and confusion. 

When she is thrown into the cells a second time, she does have a panic attack but forces herself to not transform, knowing full well it would make things worse.

She reveals she’s a shifter to the others in the middle of Season 2. 

August is stunned and asks several questions, mostly concerned about her relative safety from the generals and the WQ as he can’t exactly protect her in the air

She normally shifts to fly ahead to make sure everything is safe. She’s careful and vigilant about Jinhai due to his affinity with controlling animals. 

As August gets used to her shifting, he winds up forgetting that it’s strange to call a falcon ‘my love’.

It leads to quite the interesting conversation with his father when Bayard sees August arguing with MC in falcon form. 

August enjoys preening her feathers when she’s in falcon form and she’s just resting on his shoulder. It has a calming effect for the both of them, especially when the stresses of the WQ and the war becomes more and more prominent. 

Similarly, he can run his fingers through the wings on her back when she’s partially shifted.  

MC will also preen his hair, though it usually winds up looking more and more like a mess than anything

August finds out that MC’s bone structure is more fragile than his. He has to try and figure out armor that will protect her, but is not heavy enough to do more damage if she does get hit.

MC makes a charm using one of her feathers for him. He wears it with pride, and cherishes it. If she has to fly for recon or anything in that manner, he’s normally seen clutching the charm. 

When MC is sent back to Chicago and sees him in her dreams, he is clinging to the charm almost like a lifeline. 

She’s a lightweight when she’s drinking and shifts when she gets drunk with Solaire. August is awoken to a very inebriated falcon careening into his room. She thankfully shifts back before ranting at August and passing out. 

This is the first time she partially transforms back in front of August. He does tease her slightly when she wakes up, commenting that when she’s embarrassed, her feathers on her wings ruffle up.

Having to try and find her clothes the next day and August having to explain why there are random female clothing in the bushes is both amusing and embarrassing.

The WQ’s curse begins to affect her ability to fly. She decides to not shift until it's fixed, and finds herself staring up at the sky a lot during those days, wishing to fly but unable to.

When August stabs her in the chest with Aisetha, she loses the connection to the Shifter side temporarily. It’s quite the blow for both of them, though MC is quicker to recover than August, who feels immensely guilty at the idea of her losing an integral part of herself. 

She tells him she’s alive, and that’s all that matters because they can stay together.

She regains the connection with it in Season 8 and shifts and takes flight for the first time when they return from Chicago.

When she shifts back, she shifts in mid-air and lands in August’s arms, excitedly claiming that she can still fly. August doesn’t need to hold onto the guilt. Both are crying out of relief and no one really comments or teases them about it.

When they discuss children, August worries that him being human may harm them. MC is quick to tell that either a child will be a shifter or won’t be, there won’t be one that is half. 

When MC meets Revi, she’s thrown off because she’s never seen a shifter with ears and a tail out in the open for long periods of time. 

She’s also not used to nudity or such little clothing on a daily basis. No, August. Shifters from Earth don’t look like that. For god’s sake, they’d have been arrested for public indecency.

The Falke family find it funny when both Della and August visit at the same time. August and Della not as much. Mostly because they both get teased for both falling in love with women who can shift into an animal.

Saerys 

MC can shift into a Panther.

Her partial shift is her claws, teeth, and eyes changing

She shifts the first time when Lennox forces Saerys into turbo mode. Lennox is quite stunned, as are the others when a furious she-Panther appears and nearly kills Lennox and the other Generals. 

She has to stay in panther mode as she accidentally destroys her clothes shifting. Initially August insists she returns to human mode until she shifts back in annoyance and is completely nude. Cue a stammering and blushing August and the other retainers who can’t so much as look in her direction. 

They find her cloak so she’s able to transform back before returning to the castle, but she can’t really move without revealing everything, so she has to sit on Wyndsor when heading inside. 

She explains that it’s not normal on Earth, and while she says it’s possible, she has yet to meet another Shifter. 

She’s surprised to find out about the Dinae in this world. 

Her and Saerys bond over this, which makes them closer a lot quicker.

When she is in WQ’s castle, Lennox and Jinhai attempt to control her beast side. It results in several black eyes, and scratch marks. 

For a little while after Saerys gives her half of his soul, she can’t transform. She initially thinks that she lost that part when she died, but it winds up being that the demon side and a small part of the shifter side had to merge together and become a separate entity to the WQ soul.

Saerys is seen many times in the library with a purring jaguar on his lap. She really likes his heat and curls up to him a lot. She also purrs, which is embarrassing for her, but Saerys loves it.

The jaguar side considers him her mate pretty early on (like Season 1), and is protective of him. 

When the jaguar consciousness returns, Saerys literally feels the jaguar almost stalking around his mind, taking him in. It’s quite nerve-wracking at first, but he gets used to it quickly. MC is nervous at first, worried he’ll be put off by it. 

He reassures her over and over again that would never happen. 

Altea manages to figure out how to make a beam of light move around. They cannot get enough of playing with MC in her shifter form. So much chaos ensues because of that. 

It’s all fun until Altea and Iseul point the light on Saerys’s chest and all of a sudden Saerys has an 150 pound Jaguar tackling him. 

When Saerys goes into Demon God mode and if she shifts, her teeth and claws are longer, her fur is wilder looking, and her eyes glow red.

The Jaguar side and the Demon souls argue like an old married couple, which is both amusing and exhausting for MC and Saerys

Saerys wonders what children that are half-shifter/half-demon could be. MC is curious too but actually somewhat excited at the prospect whenever that happens.

Altea Bellerose 

MC can shift into a raven.

She has black wings when she partially shifts and her tendency to try to look for sparkly things is more severe

Cue MC’s inner panic when Altea starts calling her ‘my raven’ 

Because crap maybe Altea can sense that there’s another part of her and wouldn’t that make them all suspicious of her. 

She barely manages to not shift due to that.

She reveals what she is in the beginning of Season 2 to Altea, who in turn begins to do as much research about shifters as possible. 

They let the others know after Altea researches enough to know about MC and that her shifting is not a trick by WQ

Altea enlists MC to play a prank on Iseul by having MC shift and fly up to Isuel’s room. MC awakens Iseul quite abruptly by cawing and making loud noises. Iseul is not a happy camper, though Altea finds it hilarious. 

Similar to August, this MC’s bone structure is more fragile due to being hollow for shifting into a bird. This causes her to worry constantly when MC takes up a sword to fight with.

Her worst fear comes true when MC is badly injured protecting Altea in her raven form and one of her wings and several of her ribs are broken. Altea is practically beside herself with worry and guilt as MC recovers. It is not known for a while whether or not MC will ever be able to fly again, leading to some stress between them.

Thankfully, MC recovers enough and takes to the skies again, Altea being incredibly relieved that she can still fly.

She also dives into defensive magic because she can’t go through that again

When Altea gains her own wings, the two go on flying dates. A lot. 

On land, if MC changes into raven form, she sits on Altea’s shoulder, making happy raven sounds whenever Altea gives her attention.

Boy does she love it when Altea preens her feathers

She begins to unknowingly court Altea by hiding glittery and shiny objects around their room for Altea to find. She doesn’t initially notice it, and it isn’t until Altea comments about finding another shiny bauble on her pillow that MC figures out what is going on. 

She is blushing so much and refuses to look Altea in the eye for a few hours. She doesn’t tell Altea for a while afterwards because she’s embarrassed. 

When Altea figures it out, she blushes and is grinning like an idiot as she wanders aimlessly around the castle. It’s very concerning to the other retainers. 

Altea makes her intentions known as well by giving MC a very shiny, sparkly ring. 

MC stares at it for a few seconds before her face lights up and she transforms into a very ecstatic raven. 

She accidentally transforms in front of Altea’s parents due to stress, and they are less than thrilled with their future daughter-in-law being a bird. 

Altea isn’t pleased that her parents call MC a crow. 

Lionel finds her fascinating, asking questions nonstop about being a shifter to the point MC can barely keep up. 

Reiner Wolfson

MC can shift into a wolf. Her pack resides in Chicago, though she is estranged from them due to her tolerating and residing among humans.

When she partially shifts, she gains ears and a tail. 

She shifts the first time in front of the others when they come to rescue her in the beginning to Season 2 and attacks Magnus.

When she transforms back, she’s unfortunately nude due to her clothes being damaged from the transformation. Reiner is stunned, but doesn’t really ask too much at that moment. He just covers her up with his cape and escapes until they can find her cloak.

When he does ask for more explanation, she explains that she didn’t hide being a shifter from him or the others because she didn’t trust them. She had been raised to hide it from everyone that it became second nature to hide it, even from him. 

The irony of her being able to shift into a wolf, and that she is with Reiner is not lost on anyone and the retainers do not have any problems teasing them about it.

It becomes common to see Reiner doing his rounds and a black wolf following closely behind.

He gives a lot of ear scratches when she’s shifted, which she rather enjoys.

Her sense of smell and hearing are greatly heightened even in human form.

She’s actually receptive to marrying Reiner. The wolf part of her already saw him as her mate, though she kept that little tidbit of information quiet when they started their relationship.

When she and Reiner are sent back to Chicago and are reunited, she has to work incredibly hard to not tell him anything about her being a shifter. 

It hurts a lot because she feels like she’s lying to him again. 

She partially shifts to reveal what she is, and though initially stunned and asking if this is some elaborate joke, just listens to her explanation. He takes to it rather quickly. It makes her fall in love with him even more

During this time, she is reunited with her original pack and dealing with the members of the pack, mainly her father. Though he is glad she is back, he is not happy with discovering her in a relationship with a human, even if he is from another realm. He orders her to cease contact with Reiner, which she refuses to do, resulting in MC fighting her father to protect Reiner when he finds out that she told Reiner about her being a shifter.

Though she succeeds in winning the match, she is formally ousted from the pack and disowned. She finds she’s not as upset as she thought she would be. 

Her mother defies the decree made by her father so she can say goodbye to her daughter, saying that she hopes she will find happiness with Reiner.

She does not tell Reiner for quite awhile afterwards being disowned by her family. It’s only after the WQ is defeated that she explains the events with her family

He feels guilty for a little bit about her losing her family, though she tells him that she would have lost them no matter what, and she considers him and the retainers a new pack. 

Nobles aren’t exactly thrilled with her bloodline and see her as a savage and treat her as such behind Reiner’s back. 

She keeps it relatively quiet from Reiner, unwilling to burden him with the gossip with everything going at that moment. He eventually finds out though and is less than thrilled about what the nobles are saying. 

Him and MC have a long talk about the nobles and the others and what has been said to her. He reminds her he fell in love with her, which means both parts of her. 

She sometimes wears her wedding ring around her neck on a long chord so that way she can wear it when she’s shifted.

Reiner wonders if her being a wolf might mean multiple children in a ‘litter’. MC assures him that it’s just as likely there will be a single child (as she was), as there could be multiple litter mates.

Iseul Idreis 

MC can shift into a fox. She does not have a pack in Chicago, though instinct makes her consider Sophie a pack member

She looks similar to Revi when she partially shifts, though she only has one tail. 

Iseul can sort of sense that there is something different about her, though he doesn’t know what. It makes him suspicious of her for a little while.

She reveals that she’s a shifter to Iseul in the beginning of Season 2. He wasn’t expecting that at all.

When going after Jinhai in her human form, his abilities cause her to have a paralyzing headache. Iseul is able to lessen the pain, though it is obvious that it still hurts her.

In fox form, Jinhai’s abilities are extremely painful and is like a sharp ringing in her head telling her to obey him. It takes the entirety of her human side to keep the shifter side from attacking the others. 

In contrast, with Iseul it feels like a wave of warmth easing the headache in an instant

Iseul is most reluctant to let her shift when doing recon because of Jinhai. He doesn’t know what he would do if she was returned to them under Jinhai’s control. He also doesn’t know (neither does she to be honest) if he would be able to tell if she was under Jinhai’s control

Ishara is suspicious of her, and Iseul initially doesn’t tell his mother about MC’s abilities. They tell her right before she gets injured.

MC is badly injured protecting the egg. A fox is not exactly a big creature and not a heavy hitter. Iseul is beside himself with worry when he finds her injured and barely conscious.

When she thinks Iseul is dead, she kind of just curls up into the blankets and makes a makeshift burrow. She is partially transformed through all this due to the stress and the tail is wrapped around her. It’s distressing for the other retainers to say the least. 

Only Solaire can get close to her and get her to eat or do anything remotely outside the room.

When Iseul returns she tries to keep away from him because hormones, her feelings, as well as the fox emotions are incredibly confusing and stressful and she’s worried about the baby's health because of it. Iseul has to use his abilities to calm the fox part down long enough to explain everything.

When finding out about what she is, MC wonders if WQ was a shifter or part of the Dinae. Magnus denies the possibility but she and Iseul can’t be too sure of the truth to his denials.

She’s actually reluctant to get the ultrasound because she doesn’t know what the baby will look like, though she still suggests it. Cue relief when they see a human, not a fox or some sort of hybrid.

Iseul and Ishara are at first unsure if the well would accept changing MC because of the animal part of her. Thankfully it proves to not be a worry.

She doesn’t know if Iris will be a shifter. Time will tell.

Helena Klein 

MC can shift into a bear.

When she partially shifts, nothing is entirely obvious that she has changed, but her strength and speed are greatly increased 

Though Helena can sense the shifter side, she initially thinks it’s just the WQ’s magic. MC doesn’t correct her

MC doesn’t reveal that she’s a shifter until nearly the end of Season 2.

It’s quite the shock for Helena to see a large bear taking the place of MC

Helena is just amazed at how much MC eats and manages to store without seemingly gaining weight. For one so tiny, she can eat quite a lot. 

MC loves cuddling. Which is great and all, until she nearly crushes Helena when rolling over in bear form.

MC snores...quite loudly. She did not know this until Helena is hitting her awake with a pillow after the second week of them sleeping in the same bed.

MC goes into short periods of ‘hibernation’ which usually lasts only a few days. It is fine and all given the bear part...but she neglects to tell anyone that, so right after a battle, she just crashes and falls unconscious. Cue to her waking up to a distraught Helena a few days later. She has to make it up for Helena a lot for that.

Afterwards Helena is observant to see signs that MC will be going into hibernation soon.

WQ gets attacked by a furious MC when she kills Alain and nearly dies because of it. WQ makes sure to avoid MC in bear form after that

When they return to Chicago, they make plans to get property away from the city so MC can lumber around as a bear without fear of a random passerby in the city

Alain Richter 

MC can shift into a black cat.

Partial transformation includes cat ears and tail. Yes there are many jokes during Halloween to be had.

Alain was well aware of her being a shifter as the WQ was one as well (though she was considered half Dinae), though that connection was not as strong as MC’s is.

When WQ rose to power she basically tore that part out of her, destroying it. 

MC witnesses that when they were children, Alain would carry her around in kitten-form when she was tired or upset. She starts doing that and he holds her in a similar fashion and states he’s missed this.

After initially escaping she stays in her cat form as much as she can so she can be lighter for Nyx to carry. 

Alain is incredibly protective of MC’s secret and doesn’t reveal the secret to anyone, not even the Generals prior to these events.

MC revealing this to the retainers and Reiner is a very tense moment for him.

She does purr when she’s curled up to Alain, which is mainly an instinctual thing. It is embarrassing for her, but Alain finds it cute.

She will do a lot of cat-like things, such as pushing things off of shelves and tables, staring at walls, etc.. She tries to keep it at a minimum when around the retainers initially.

Then they figure out the light trick. The retainers are amused, Alain is as well, though he tries to hide it.

When they are in Chicago, her and Sophie manage to convince him to hold her while spinning slowly in a chair, saying ‘I’ve been expecting you Mr. Bond’. Sophie records it

He doesn’t get why Sophie and MC are cackling after the whole thing.

When MC meets her other counterparts, she also meets their shifter sides, and is surprised to see that each one has a different animal form.

She also finds the broken spirit of the WQ’s cat form, and clutches it, apologizing over and over again. That part eventually merges with MC and becomes a part of her.

Her and Alain plan to have children. She does tell him she doesn’t know if she could get multiple in a litter or just one child. He doesn’t care, as long as the child is happy and healthy.

[astaroth1357]

IT'S RAINING (DEMON) MEN!!!

I asked my sister for a prompt to get my creativity going. She played this song. Nuff said.

Intro:

It's been two months since the MC went back to the human world, and the demon boys are getting desperate to see their human… How desperate are we talking? Desperate enough to try their hands at some questionable sanctioned magic to get themselves to the human world... Good news is, they'll get there!

Just probably not in the way they expected. 🤷‍♀️🤭

Lucifer

He is going to KILL Mammon the next time he gets a hold of him…

He had no intention of taking an impromptu trip to the human world. He actually has clearance to go there when he needs to, thank you, so he didn't need to use any underhanded tricks to go between realms...

But he had made the mistake of walking too carelessly into Mammon's room while looking for a book he stole and stepped on a sigil half-obscured by an old pizza box…

...which is how he ended up falling from the Devildom to the human world at an unimaginable speed. It was like someone was yanking him to the Earth by the goddamn foot!

The unsuspecting MC was just out window shopping when suddenly an empty parked car across the street was utterly decimated by his falling body…

Of course, HE was fine, but that poor car never stood a chance… 😣 They had to help Lucifer pry himself out from the caved-in metal…

While he watched the MC fuss and try to brush all the broken glass off of him, Lucifer had only three things in mind:

(1) They look so cute when they're worried about him for practically no reason...

(2) Since he's already here, he may as well keep them company for… oh, a couple days at least?; and

(3) He was going to punish Mammon slightly less brutally than usual this time… May just fling him into a car too and leave it at that. 😌

Mammon

Okay, Mammon isn't stupid. He can do magic, he swears!!

He's just… rusty. Yeah. That. 🙄

That's the only reason the sigil that he haphazardly drew in his bedroom flung him to the human world like a catapult instead of neatly teleporting him like it was supposed to...

When the MC woke up that morning, they heard something familiar… Sad, pitiful little cries for help from outside their bedroom window….

Really only one person sprang right to their mind.

When they ran out to check, they indeed found Mammon tangled up in a tree like a wooden spider's web... He wasn't even facing upright!

It took them a half hour to detangle their poor demon from the tree… They almost gave up halfway through and had to call the fire department to pull him out like a trapped kitten... 🤦‍♀️

To say that Mammon was pretty clingy after they got him down hardly covers it. They were now his savior! (Yet again)

They had better not have any plans for the next day or two because he's going to want to spend every second he can with them… 

Or at least until Lucifer finds him and drags him back home by the back of the neck… 😰 (Hope they don't mind housing this figurative fugitive for a while…)

Leviathan

So in his defense, he didn't actually think the "Return to Lover" spell he saw on TSL would work, but he got so desperate to see MC again that he half-jokingly tried it one night...

Unfortunately for him, he also forgot that Simeon tends to use a lot of real-world influences in his writing, so… 😥

He hadn't wanted to be dragged to the human world quite so violently, and let's say he is NOT a graceful faller (arm flailing, girly screaming, spinning all over the place, etc.). 

Only when the smell of beach sand and sea salt hit his nose did he begin to calm down a little and get a good look at the surroundings he was hurtling towards… The ocean!

Video game logic dictates that if you land in water, you should be fine, right?? (Well, that's not how it works in real life, but when you're in a super sturdy demon body, there can be expectations 🤷‍♀️)

The MC was not expecting someone to splash down into the water next to them like they fell out of Heaven, nor for them to enter the water with the poise of an Olympic high diver…

They REALLY weren't expecting to see Levi surface beside them, demon form in the all it's sea serpent-y glory, totally stoked that the stupid thought he had actually brought him to them!

… Of course, he also has no idea how to get back, but who actually cares about that?? Lucifer will figure out he's not in his room eventually. For now, there wasn't anything in the ocean or beyond that could separate the MC from their adorkable otaku… 🤭

Satan

Okay. Teleportation magic is hard. Very, very hard. It basically requires bypassing several different physical laws by breaking down one's essence into a transmigrational-uh...

Whatever, the point is it's difficult, and mistakes happen even to the best of us.

Satan genuinely thought he triple-checked the symbols on his sigil… He must have made a crooked stroke or forgot a step in completing the seal properly… Either way, the spell he intended to bring him right to MC might have made a… slight miscalculation.

Rather than effortlessly stepping out beside them, he found himself hurtling towards the human world like a falling comet… If he hadn't known a few spells that could slow down his fall, he'd have had a pretty nasty meet with the ground... 😣

The MC was visiting a local park when pretty much everyone in their vicinity heard the sound of trees rapidly snapping nearby. At first, they were concerned it was a large animal… and then Satan stumbled out covered in twigs and leaves!

They, of course, ran over to see if he was alright, and the cheeky bastard just denied that anything had gone wrong. "Apparently," this was all according to plan… 

(Truthfully, he'd rather call Mammon some unsung genius than admit that he got the spell wrong, even if it was complex… 🙄)

Truthfully, Satan wasn't going to try making a return sigil for a while, so at least he and MC could be together for a time! Do they know if there were any cat cafes nearby??

Asmodeus

Asmo was PISSED at Solomon, furious even because he wouldn't help him sneak away to go see his beloved human! Didn't he know how hard the distance was on him?? The nerve!!! 😤

So, to him, it only seemed fair to steal some of the sorcerer's tomes and equipment… If he wouldn't help him in person, he could at least (unknowingly) do so in spirit!

… He just wasn't expecting the spells to be that difficult. Asmo is decent enough at magic, but some of those explanations were honestly beyond him… They bordered well into Satan or even Lucifer territory...

He tried his best, he really did, but the gentle teleportation that he was after actually flung him to the human world like he had been shot out of a cannon…! And while it was raining in the human world too!! 😫

The MC was walking home in the rain, umbrella and everything, when they heard screaming from the sky...

Thankfully, Asmo remembered just enough magic to cushion his fall… But that didn't save him from landing right into a massive puddle right next to the MC, effectively soaking them both.

On any other day, he'd have been angry that his expensive clothes were covered in rainwater, but that day? The second he saw the MC was there (and also tastefully soaked in water 😏), he just flung himself at them with a squeal of delight!

The MC had to convince him to let them get inside before they got too cold, but every step of the way was full of laughter and cuddles between the two of them...

Asmo would have to call Solomon to fess up to his theft, but hey, he got to see MC out of it! The bruised tailbone and ruined clothes were more than worth a treat like that.

Beelzebub

Beel genuinely wasn't intending to go to the human world; he really wasn't. He hated the distance like everyone else, but he knew better than to mess with magic that dangerous…

What happened was that he was walking by Satan's room one day and he smelt something inside… apples. A lot of them. He just couldn't help himself…

He didn't know that Satan was using those apples as test subjects for his teleportation magic… Unfortunately, the first fruit that he grabbed actually put him right smack dab in the middle of an incomplete sigil…

Beel kind of blacked out for whatever happened during the next part, it happened really fast, but it was the smell of more apples that woke him back up… and pears, peaches, pineapples, plums-

It's a farmer's market. Beel fell into the apple stand of a farmer's market….

The MC was out shopping there when they heard two things: the screams of shock and horror from the end of the market and a familiar voice shouting, "I'M HUNGRY!!!"

Of course they ran towards the screaming, defying all survival instincts (because who else are we talking about here?) and found Beel, mid-rampage, eating every scrap of food he could get his hands on…

But he actually stopped when he heard them shout his name. That's right, he stopped eating right then and there to turn and see them in the crowd... Oh, the smile that popped up on his face could have reignited a sun!

Beel had no idea how he got there and even less idea of getting back, so the MC had to eventually call Lucifer. They did get to spend the day with their gentle giant, though! (Just don't mention the massive bill for all the fruit he ate… 😣)

Belphegor

So here's the story. Belphie was sleeping in the library, as he sometimes does, and the next thing he knew, he was free-falling through the sky.

No, he didn't know what happened either. Maybe he rolled onto a stray sigil Satan left behind. Perhaps he was accidentally summoned to the human world. Mayhaps he even dreamed about MC so hard that it broke a rift in space-time to try and bring the two together... 

Who the hell knows? His more pressing concern was less how he got up there and more where he would end up.

Unfortunately for him, all he could see below him was a human residential area, and even worse yet, it looked like he was hurtling towards someone's roof… The MC's roof, to be exact!

MC was incredibly lucky to have already been up and starting their morning routine when the seventh-born came crashing onto their bed. Who knows how much damage he could have done if he had landed on them...??

That didn't change their shock to see Belphie, covered in plaster and wood fragments, sitting himself up while looking more annoyed to have been woken up than that he… you know... crashed through their roof...

He was grateful to have popped up close to them because it would have been pretty awkward to land in some random human's room. The MC was… less enthused that they now had some significant repairs to do.

Smooth-talker he is, Belphie not only managed to convince them that Lucifer would take care of the payment (which he would) but also not to call him just yet. Not until he could get himself cleaned off and maybe have a nap or two… Say, they weren't going anywhere today, right? Good. 😏

Check out my Masterlist for more wacky ideas.

[sareenademon]

Bi Fang and Havik create mischief together! fluffy/weird/concerning

(Btw Havik might be a lil OOC or he might not be bc he’s the biggest wildcard in the mk universe.)

Bi Fang is the son of Bi Han and Sareena: Info on him (btw Bi Fang is inspired from Richie Tozier from Stephen Kong’s It, he curses a lot)

Once Noob Saibot got redeemed and rejoined the Lin Kuei he cut ties with all of his evil associates. This included Havik. Well kinda.

They don’t consider each other enemies and Havik still considers Bi Han his bestfriend! And sometimes he’ll randomly insert himself back into his life to cause a bit of chaos. He’s more of an annoyance to Bi Han if anything.

(Bi Fang is 10 at this point. And this before he meets Satoshi and Liu Jerrod)

Years later, when Havik found out that Bi Han has a son he became curious.

So, he decided to pay the boy a visit and meet him!

For a day, he stalked Bi Fang from a far.

Havik realized how powerful Bi Fang could be. The boy shared the DNA of a cryomancer and a demon. His ice powers could be legendary. It could be powerful enough to one day kill that bastard Hotaru.

He also realized how different Bi Fang was from his father.

Unlike Bi Han, Fang has a great sense of humor! Havik finds the boy’s pranks on the other Lin Kuei members to be hilarious! But he also notices the boy’s loneliness. He sees how the other children of the Lin Kuei shunned him.

So Havik decides he should take the boy out for some good ol, chaotic fun!

He appears to him when the boy is alone hanging out in a forest.

Havik: Hello Bi Fang, I-

Bi Fang: -AHHH! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

*Havik watches as he runs away towards the temple. He quickly teleports in front of him and grabs Bi Fang and puts a hand over his mouth to stop his screaming*

Havik: I am not here to harm you! I am here to fun with you!

Bi Fang: You do realize how fuckin creepy that sounds right?!

*Havik giggles and lets him go*

Bi Fang: Who the hell are you anyways?

Havik: I am the Cleric of Chaos! Me and your father worked together back in the day.

Bi Fang: Cleric of Chaos? You sound like a bad guy to me.

Havik: Well I wouldn’t say bad..It’s of no matter. I’m here to see if you’d like to come create some mischief with me!

Bi Fang: Why would I go anywhere with a fucking weirdo like you?!

Havik knew that the boy wouldn’t go with him this way, so he decided to use a bit of manipulation.

*Havik fakes a hurt expression, faces away from Bi Fang and starts sobbing*

Bi Fang: Hey, are you...crying?

Havik: *sniffles* I-i just hoped you’d be different is all.

Bi Fang: What do you mean?

Havik: Nobody wants to be my friend! They all think I am a freak! I thought you could understand what how it feels...to be rejected because you’re different...

*Bi Fang’s suspicious expression visibly softens*

Bi Fang: I do know how it feels...I don’t have many friends either, they all think I’m a freak too...hey I’ll be your friend, just don’t cry.

*Bi Fang hugs Havik*

Havik: Oh goodie! Now let us go have some fun!

Bi Fang: Where are we going?

Havik: Hehe, to create havoc of course!

So that’s exactly what they do. Havik teleports them to America, California where their disruption of the peace begins.

They run around pranking random people and they do every prank in the book.

They Teepee people’s houses, egg people’s cars, put a flaming bag of dog shit on someone’s front porch, put Whoopi cushions on the chairs of Starbucks, put bugs in people’s food, stink bombed stores, etc.

Havoc scares passerbys by taking his head off or breaking his knee caps or turning his torso 360 degrees. Bi Fang laughs his ass off at their freaked out people’s reactions.

They made this really buff big guy scream like a little girl and they laughed until it hurt.

Havoc was so delighted that he finally had a mini me. Bi Fang was way more fun than his killjoy father and uncle.

He would make a wonderful son and heir!

Of course, the cops were soon called on them and They soon found themselves surrounded by Stryker and Kabal, and a couple other cops.

Havik: Allow me to deal with these party poopers hehehehe.

(At this time Kabal and Stryker haven’t met Bi Fang yet and they don’t know he’s the Lin Kuei grandmaster’s son)

Bi Fang cheered him on as Havik made quick work of the squad of officers but when he went to finish off Kabal and Stryker. Bi Fang quickly intervened.

Bi Fang: Stop! You’re gonna kill them!

Havik: I know! It’s going to be so much fun to watch the life leave their eyes.

Bi Fang: ...You can’t kill them...it’s-it’s wrong!

Havik: Come now, Do not be so dull! Just think of the chaos it will cause in their loved one’s lives! Hehehe!

Bi Fang: Y-you’re starting to scare me...if you kill them...I-i won’t be your friend no more.

The chaos cleric glared at Bi fang for a couple of moments before he sighed and released the two beaten officers.

He didn’t want to run the boy off yet. He still had plans for him.

Havik: Very, well...say, all this mischief is making me hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.

*Havik takes the boy’s hand and starts pulling him away from the unconscious cops*

Bi Fang: Ya, I’m kinda hungry too, but where are we gonna eat? I don’t have any money.

Havik: Hehehe, who says we’re going to pay for the food?

So they go to a McDonald’s. All the employees look terrified of Havik and they don’t dare to stop him when he walks behind the counter and starts making a McFlurry.

Bi Fang decides to follow Havik’s suit and starts taking some chicken nuggets and fries. They run out of the McDonald’s before another group of cops can arrive.

It was getting late and Bi Fang was getting sleepy so the Chaosrealmer returned Bi Fang to his home. Before leaving Bi Fang asked if they could go have fun again tomorrow. To which Havik replied, anything for his best friend.

Once Havik disappeared, Bi Fang ran into his parents on his way to his bedroom.

Let’s just say, they weren’t too happy to learn who Bi Fang has spent the day with. Especially Bi Han, who was livid that Havik had the nerve to kidnap his child.

Bi Fang: He said you two knew each other.

Bi Han: That doesn’t mean he is someone good or trustworthy! You know you shouldn’t speak to anyone that isn’t Lin Kuei! You are to never speak to that freak again! Understand?!

Bi Fang: He’s not a freak! He’s my friend, and he likes hanging out with me! Not like you!

*Bi Han is about to scream at his son but Sareena steps in*

Sareena: Bi Fang, you do not realize how dangerous that man truly is. He is most likely trying to manipulate and use you.

*Bi Fang starts tearing up*

Bi Fang: N-no! You’re wrong! He’s like me-

Bi Han: -Enough! Go to your room! And do not come out until I say so!

Bi Fang runs to his room crying. Bi Han feels a bit regretful for upsetting him so much, but he has the Chaos Cleric to deal with first.

He, Kuai Liang, and Smoke go to the Chaosrealm and face Havik. Bi Han is on Havik’s ass before he could even greet them. Bi Han is strong enough to pin the Cleric to the ground and starts choking him.

Havik: Y-you...se-em upset...with m-me, Bi Han...

Bi Han: *growls* How dare you kidnap my son! I’ll rip out your heart!

Havik: W-as...not kidnap, h-he came willing-ACH

*Bi Han tightens his hold on Havik’s throat. Kuai steps in and pull Bi Han off of the cleric*

Kuai Liang: Why did you take him to America? What scheme are you plotting Havik? 

Havik: What schemes? I only wanted to show the boy some fun! Your child is a riot! He is the son I have always dreamed of! Hehehe!

*Bi Han lunges at Havik again but this time Havik evades him*

Bi Han: HE IS NOT YOUR SON! HE IS MINE!

Smoke: You expect us to believe you did this for fun?

Havik: ....Yes. Do you really expect me to make sense?

*The 3 Lin Kuei stare him for a couple moments and then look at each other*

Bi Han: I am warning you now Chaos Cleric. If you ever go near my son again I will rip apart limb from limb, and give your remains to demons and they will torture you for the rest of eternity...

Havik: Oh Bi Han, do not threaten me with a good time. Fine, I will leave your boy alone. You have my word.

*crosses his toes in his boot*

Havik was lying of course. But it was enough to get the Lin Kuei and Bi Han to return to Earthrealm.

Havik wasn’t going to give up on Bi Fang just yet. The potential of havoc that boy could unleash was amazing. Somehow, Bi Fang will become his son, and together they will plunge the realms into chaos.

(I’m gonna end it here bc it became longer than I meant it to be. Hope you enjoyed)

[hallowxiu]

Jackets, Cold Winter Days, and the Feeling of Your Hand in Mine

pairing: levi x gn!mc 

word count: 1.9k

summary: You spend some quality time with your favorite demon boy.

a/n: it doesn’t get cold here but i thought this would be cute, plus i wanted to show leviathan and his stans some love LOL hopefully i did it some justice 

also this is only half edited, so i’m sorry if there’s any typos and errors. :)

It was cold. So, so cold as you stand huddled at a bus stop, your hands crammed into the pockets of your thin coat. You hadn’t planned on it being so cold when mapping out your trip back to the human realm, so you didn’t prepare any thicker clothes for your trip. Not that the Devildom exactly had any of that, as a cold day down there was still considered hotter than your average summer day. You’re tapping your foot against the ground impatiently as you look straight ahead, refusing to admit to the world that you were currently freezing your ass off. Upon finding out you were returning to the Devildom as requested by Lord Diavolo, Lucifer and Satan wasted no time in cornering you and asking if you would be okay in the colder climate. You had only laughed them off, reminding them that you had grown up there and not in the Devildom, despite how quickly you had adjusted.

Of course those words were biting you in the ass now. While you adjusted to everything in the Devildom rapidly, it seems almost as if you’ve fallen out of touch with your home realm. You don’t remember it ever being this cold, but everyone around you seemed accustomed to it. “You’re totally freezing your ass off ROTFL.” And the icing on the cake? Leviathan was here to witness it all. You sigh inwardly as you try to somehow make your jacket warmer. Leviathan was fine, the demon completely unfazed. You weren’t necessarily surprised that he wasn’t cold, but you had hoped that he’d at least have a shiver here and there. He was a demon, one that was accustomed to just about anything. He could tough out cold weather just like he could tough out hot weather. 

“I am not.” It was pointless lying, but that didn’t stop you. “If I… if I had just brought the appropriate clothing I wouldn’t be so… chilly.” It’s not exactly admitting you’re cold, but it’s pretty close. Okay, who were you fooling? You were admitting you were cold.

“If you’re cold, just say it.” Leviathan glances at you. He managed to talk not only you, but Lucifer and Lord Diavolo into letting him tag along on your trip. He told you he wanted to visit your stores to see if they had any limited edition anime merch, although unfortunately for him, you lived in a small town. You’re also pretty sure he just wanted to spend time with you without his brothers, but you knew he’d never admit to that. 

“Why? So you can laugh at me?” The two of you were currently waiting at a bus stop as you weren’t exactly… the best driver around. You’ve been in the human realm for about twentyish minutes, and you were waiting at the familiar bus stop to take you back to your apartment. 

“Why would I laugh at you? I mean, it is a little funny that you came back in the winter without bringing any winter clothes, but I’m not cruel enough to outright laugh at you.” You roll your eyes at his comment, though you keep your thoughts to yourself. “If you’re actually that cold though, why don’t you just take my jacket?” You glance at him once again, a reddish tint displayed on his cheeks. “Lucifer would kill me if you came back sick. It’s all I’d hear for the next couple decades.” He’s shrugging off his jacket before you can protest, the demon placing the oversized clothing over your shoulders. “Now put your arms through it and zip it up so you don’t catch a cold.” His cheeks were even darker than they were minutes ago. You find yourself doing as he says, zipping the jacket up once it’s completely on. 

“Thank you.” You manage to give your thanks without stuttering and making yourself look like an idiot in front of the purple haired demon, which you were internally grateful for. Truth be told, you’ve had a crush on the third oldest for a while now, and when you found out that the two of you would be spending time together- alone -and in the human realm, you were beyond excited. That being said, you were also extremely nervous, but overall your feelings were having a party as you silently stood next to the man at the stop. You have no idea how the demon feels about you, if he even wanted to tag along in hopes of spending alone time (which as stated earlier, you had a vague theory about it but you couldn’t be sure), or if he really did just want to do some human realm shopping. “Thanks for coming along with me.” You say quieter than your previous sentence. Leviathan’s cheeks are still red, though not nearly as bad as they were earlier. However, due to your comment, you could see the color deepening once again. 

“It’s not like I came because I wanted to.” He pauses when seeing your face and the brother immediately starts to fiddle with his fingers nervously. “I mean, ugh, okay yes, I did want to come, but not for you!” His face is growing redder and redder as he continues. “I just wanted to shop around! Don’t make it into something it’s not!” You snort to yourself and bring your attention back to ahead, watching as the bus approaches in the distance. Mammon and Leviathan were more alike than they thought; they two could never clearly lay out their feelings without immediately falling apart. It was kind of cute. Okay, it was very cute, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t tiring sometimes. 

“What are you even doing back here?” Leviathan asks as you fish out your wallet from your bag. “It’s not like the holidays are here yet, we still have a couple of weeks before any of that starts up again.” Absentmindedly, he shuffles closer to your side and rests his chin on your shoulder as he watches you dig around for your wallet that you somehow always seem to lose in the bottomless hole that is your bag. 

“Lord Diavolo says that I’ve spent too much time in the Devildom. He thinks I’m going to start losing my connection with the human realm and feel more at ease among demons.” Which, you thought, was some of the reason he originally had you attend RAD, but it was always a guessing game with the future Devildom King. “Solomon also said he was worried I’d start having a hard time relating to other humans.” Maybe they had some merit to their worries, afterall you could barely handle the mild cold. 

“I guess that could be a problem.” He hums in thought. “He does need you to serve as a bridge, so it would defeat the purpose if you lost your connection with one of the realms.” He watches as you gasp in triumph when finding your wallet, and you happily pull the worn object out of your bag. 

Leviathan’s holding onto the edge of your sleeve loosely as he boards the bus with you, staying close to your side as you pay for the two of you. You make your way towards the end of the bus, grabbing an empty seat and having Leviathan slide in next to you. He stays glued to your side, clearly anxious about being surrounded by strangers. “You’re doing great.” You offer some words of support and you smile to yourself when seeing Leviathan blush at your words of affirmation. He’s still clinging to your sleeve and you can’t help but feel your face heat up from the contact. He hides his face in the fabric of your jacket, the demon trying to steady his breathing and his racing heart. You pause slightly from his action, wondering if he was okay or not. “Leviathan..?” 

“I’m alright.” He responds shyly, his grip on you tightening slightly. He takes a moment, though he eventually pulls away from you and settles against the leather set. You worriedly glance at him and you notice a faint tremble to his outline. You press your lips together, unsure of what to do. You knew it was probably just his nerves getting to him again, and that he’d eventually calm down once he got to your apartment. In hindsight, maybe you shouldn’t have taken a bus. 

“We’ll be only in the next ten minutes.” You whisper to him soothingly and you rub at his side gently. “It’ll be a short ride, over before you even know it.” You notice the slight change in his demeanour, Leviathan looking a little bit calmer than he did moments ago. You freeze momentarily when noticing the glances the purple haired brother is sending to your hand closet to him and you feel your heart skip a beat. Did he want to hold your hand? What would happen if it was all a misunderstanding and you offered him your hand just for him to shoot you down? Should you just ignore it-- maybe you’ll just pretend you didn’t see that. But then what if that is what he wanted and you just ignored it? You’d probably crush his esteem, you know how hard it is for that boy to make a move. You decide that being rejected is ultimately better than ruining Leviathan’s entire self esteem, so you place your hand down palm up, offering it for the demon to take should he want to. He tentatively glances at your hand again, his cheeks crimson now (and no doubt yours are matching) as his hand shakily reaches for yours. You instinctively intertwine your fingers with his, your heart slamming against your chest as you try to keep a straight face. How many times have you envisioned this moment? Too many to count, and now it was happening and you had no idea how to act. Every smooth comment you’d ever dreamt up had completely left your mind as you two just sat there, awkwardly staring ahead at the empty seat in front of you, neither one of you wanting to say anything to make the situation even more awkward. 

He didn’t reject you at least, which is something. “Um…” Leviathan’s refusing to look at you and you’re refusing to look at him. This was painful. “My hand isn’t sweaty, is it?” To your surprise, and Leviathan’s as well, a loud laugh leaves you, one that results in passengers giving you dirty looks. “Wait- what’s wrong?” Leviathan asks in a panic, and you can only shake your head in response as tears blur your vision. You cover your mouth with the back of your head, leaning your head on his shoulder as you eventually come back down. 

“That was funny.” You say when noticing that Leviathan was staring at you with large eyes. 

“I’m glad someone thought it was funny. I think everyone on the bus hates us now.” He mumbles under his breath and sinks in his seat, the boy purposely trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone else. 

“Well of course--” you immediately jerk up in your seat and look around wildly. You probably looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh, fuck.” Leviathan looks at you with a questioning look. “We missed our stop! Fuck, fuck, fuck. Get up, Levi, get up.” You usher the man out of his seat, though you make a point to still keep his hand in yours. Maybe Lord Diavolo was right, you find yourself thinking as the two of you hurry up to the front of the bus, maybe you are getting out of touch with the human realm. 

Honestly? Who doesn’t even remember where their own stop is? 

[calumcest]

hello 🥺🥺 i finished holyverse a couple of days ago and i after seeing all of your thirsting over the gallagher brothers,,,, what if you put them in somehow? i mean noel was touched by god with his lyrics anyway, so he might as well be god 😳

this is the funniest concept in the entire world and it is LITERALLY going straight into the holyverse canon 

Michael’s startled by a knock on his door. No one fucking knocks on his door. Ashton just barges in, already three sentences deep into the bollocking he’s been preparing for Michael, and no one else dares to come anywhere near his room. 

“Yeah?” Michael calls cautiously, and the door opens, and God walks in. 

“You got a minute?” He says, and Michael blinks at Him. 

“Not like I have much choice,” he says, setting his book aside. God grins, and sits down on a chintz armchair that’s just appeared in front of Him. “There’s a chair right there, you know,” Michael says, pointing to the chair in the corner. 

“Don’t like that one,” God says, kicking back in the armchair and raising an eyebrow. Michael rolls his eyes.

“Well?” he prompts, because God usually doesn’t just show up in Michael’s room. He’s much too lazy to transport Himself that far. 

“I’m going to be away for a bit,” God says. Michael raises an eyebrow. 

“Where are you going?” he asks, intrigued. God grins. 

“Down,” He says, and Michael frowns. 

“You can’t go down,” he says. 

“Says who?” God says. Michael opens his mouth, and then closes it again. He’s kind of got a point. 

“Jesus is going to be absolutely furious,” Michael says knowingly. The Son loves being the only one of the Trinity that’s had direct experience of the earthly realm, even though the rest of the fucking Host have too. Honestly, Michael’s never met anyone more self-important in his entire existence. And, whoops, yeah, presence of God. Sorry. No criticising Jesus, even mentally. 

“You’ve really got to learn to control your thoughts,” God says, and there’s a serious undertone to His voice, but there’s a twinkle in His eyes, so Michael knows he’s not in trouble this time. 

“Shouldn’t have given me free will, then,” Michael shoots back, and God rolls His eyes. “What are you going down for?” God grins. 

“You’ll see,” He says.  

“What’s it got to do with me?” Michael says, a touch suspiciously.  

“Nothing,” God says. “Just wanted to let you know. You’re my favourite angel, after all.”

“You’re not supposed to have favourites,” Michael says, for, like, the ten millionth time, but he can’t hide the warm, holy feeling that spreads from the tips of his wings to his toes at God’s words. 

“I know,” God says, still grinning, “but Raphael’s been getting on my nerves lately, and you haven’t done anything worth a demotion for - what, three centuries now?” 

“Four,” Michael says. “Last time was when I accidentally started the Great Fire of London.” 

“Oh, yeah,” God says, like He’d forgotten, and not like He’d just wanted to hear Michael say the words I, archangel Michael, righteous angel of the Lord, started the Great fucking Fire of London. He grins at Michael’s thoughts, and Michael scowls. 

“Who’s in charge, then?” he asks, praying that He’ll say the Spirit. 

“Just for that I’m going to say Jesus,” God says, and Michael groans. 

“How long are you going to be gone?” he asks. He can manage maybe half a decade reporting to Jesus, maybe a decade at a push, but after that he’ll definitely end up saying something that’ll make him fall. God grins again, and shrugs. 

“Not sure yet,” He says. “Think I might go back a bit as well. You’ll have to see.” 

“I’m sure I fucking will,” Michael mutters, and God laughs, the sound honey and gold in Michael’s veins, and then He’s gone. 

Fucking hell, Michael thinks, rubbing his eyes. Humans may not do much right, but the phrase power trip is definitely amongst their achievements. 

-------

“I can’t believe this,” Calum says, for the eight hundredth time. “You can fucking time travel? And you never fucking told me?” 

“It’s not that exciting,” Michael says, flagging down the barman for another beer. “Like, what, I get to relive colonisation? Great?” Calum rolls his eyes as Michael holds up two fingers to the barman, who nods. 

“I don’t know why you bother ordering beer,” he says. “Just create some.” 

“I’m supporting local businesses,” Michael says primly. Calum just rolls his eyes again, and then shakes his head. 

“I can’t believe you can fucking time travel,” he says, again. “And it’s taken you two decades to take me on a time travel date?” 

“This is exactly why I didn’t,” Michael says, waving a hand in the direction of the empty stage behind them. “I offer you all of history on the earthly Realm and you choose England in the fucking nineties?” 

“Sex, drugs, and rock and roll?” Calum says with a grin as the barman slaps two beers down on the bar in front of them. “‘S right up my alley.” 

“Who said anything about sex?” Michael says, raising an eyebrow and taking a sip from his beer to hide his grin.

“Are you serious?” Calum says, half-incredulous, half-incensed. “You can’t take me on a date to see Oasis and not fuck me in the toilets.” Michael’s saved from answering by a huge burst of feedback that makes them both jump, sloshing beer all over themselves as they turn to look at the stage. 

“Good evening, Manchester,” a man clutching a tambourine is slurring into the microphone, hair curled with sweat. 

“That’s Liam Gallagher,” Calum says to Michael, lips brushing the shell of Michael’s ear to make himself heard over the noise as the band kick into their first overdrive-heavy song. It makes Michael shiver, and he feels Calum’s lips curve up in a grin. “Think the one on the bass is called Guigsy? The bald one’s Bonehead. And the other guitarist is Noel. He’s Liam’s brother. Dunno who the drummer is.” Michael nods, eyes following the bassist, guitarist, singer, and then- 

“Fucking hell,” he says, eyes on Noel. 

“What?” Calum says, shouting to be heard over the singer (Liam?)’s loud, gravelly voice. “They’re good, aren’t they?” 

“That’s God,” Michael says. 

“Who? Oh, Noel? Yeah, he’s fucking amazing, right?” Calum’s pretty much yelling now. “He writes all the songs. All of them. Fucking genius, honestly. Just you wait until I make you take me to Knebworth.” 

“No,” Michael says, pointing at Noel. “That’s literally God.” 

“What?” Calum says. 

“That,” Michael says slowly, still pointing at Noel. “That is God.” 

“Fuck off,” Calum says, rolling his eyes. “What d’you think of this one? It was their first single off the album, but I honestly think Live Forever would have been a better one to start with-” 

“Calum,” Michael interrupts, eyes still on Noel. “That’s God.” Calum sighs, all long-suffering, and starts to say something when Noel looks up, and catches Michael’s eye. A grin spreads across his face, and He winks, and Calum stops mid-word. 

“Fuck me,” Calum says, sounding strangled. “Are you telling me Noel Gallagher’s-” 

“Yeah,” Michael says, when God - or Noel - turns back to his guitar, grin still fixed on his lips, and starts bouncing around the stage. 

“Oh, fucking hell,” Calum says faintly. “Now I’ve got to find a new favourite band.” Michael tears his gaze away from Noel to look at Calum in disbelief.

“Are you fucking serious?” he says. “You see God playing guitar in Manchester in nineteen-ninety-four and your first thought is ‘better find a new favourite band’?” Calum shrugs. 

“What else am I meant to say?” he says. Michael stares at him for a moment, and then shakes his head. 

“No wonder you’re a fucking demon,” he says, and he sees Noel grinning again, and knows He’s listening. 

“Can I meet Him?” Calum asks. Noel looks up, directly at them, and gives them a thumbs up, causing Liam to send him a look of annoyance when the guitar for the song cuts out. 

“Fucking hell,” Michael mutters, and downs the rest of his beer. “Guess so.” 

-------

Michael doesn’t even have to distract the security guy for them to get backstage, because Noel’s put them on some sort of list. They’re shown into a dingy dressing room that absolutely stinks of slightly-stale sweat and beer, Liam and Noel sprawled across a sofa with several questionable-looking stains on it, both sipping from cans of beer. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Liam says, raising his can of beer to his mouth.

“This is Michael,” Noel says, eyes glittering. 

“Don’t know him,” Liam says. 

“Lucky you,” Calum says, and Liam’s eyes flit to him, giving him a once over.   

“Who’re you, then?” he says, cocking his head. 

“Never you mind,” Calum says, and Liam grins. 

“This one can stay,” he says. 

“What the fuck?” Michael says, mostly to Noel, sort of to everything. Noel grins. 

“Nice to see you too,” He says, and then turns to Calum. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” He taps His head pointedly, which all of them know means Michael has some filthy fucking thoughts about you, and Michael rolls his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up. 

“Is that so?” Calum says, grinning and rocking back on his heels. 

“Fuck you,” Michael says. “Both of you.” Calum shoots Michael a sort of wild-eyed look, an are you seriously going to insult God to His face? look, but Noel just laughs. 

“Think I’ll leave that to Calum,” He says. Calum blinks at Him, like he’s trying to find his footing, and then clears his throat. 

“Love what you’re doing,” he says nonchalantly, but Michael can see the slight tension in his posture, the way his wings are poised to fly out. “Think the next record’s going to be my favourite, though.” Liam, who’s been cutting up lines of coke on the table in front of them, looks up at Calum. 

“What the fuck’s wrong with this one?” he says.

“Nothing,” Calum says. 

“Fucking right,” Liam says, attention back on his coke. 

“But the next one’s going to be better.” 

“‘Course it is,” Liam says. “Best fucking band in the world, we are. And our Noel’s fucking godlike, isn’t he?” Noel grins, and Calum snorts. 

“Yeah,” he says. “You can fucking say that again.” Michael rolls his eyes. 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Michael says to Noel. 

“Yeah, you can,” Noel says, stretching out on the sofa. 

“You left me up there with Him for this?” 

“Hey,” Noel says mildly, taking another sip from His beer. Michael’s pretty sure God’s not supposed to drink alcohol. “Watch your fucking tongue. And I made it for a reason.” Michael rolls his eyes. Stop replying to my thoughts, he tells God, but Noel just grins and raises His thick eyebrows as He takes another swig from His beer. 

“Or what?” He says. 

“Fancy a line?” Liam says, like there isn’t a completely insane conversation happening right next to him, and Michael’s gaze flits to him to see him staring up at Calum from under thick, dark lashes. Oh, fucking hell. 

“Why not?” Calum says, with a shrug, and Michael catches his arm as he makes to walk over to Liam. 

“Not tonight,” Michael says, trying to communicate I want you to be sober enough to fuck without having to say the words. Noel snorts, disguises it badly as a cough, and downs the rest of His beer. 

“You’re no fucking fun,” Calum grumbles, clearly not understanding Michael’s subliminal message. He strains to pull away from Michael’s archangel grip, but then glances at Noel briefly and seems to remember whose presence he’s currently in, and stops struggling. Not that God’s ever cared much about drugs. If Michael remembers correctly, Luke had been the weed dealer for half of the Host as soon as He’d created it. 

“I’ve got to say, Calum, you’re much more fucking fun than Michael,” Noel says. 

“Well, that’s not exactly fucking hard, is it?” Calum says, and Michael rolls his eyes. 

“Fuck you,” he says, and points at Noel. “You, especially.” 

“I can’t believe you fucking let him do that,” Calum says to Noel. “I once told Luke his arse looked flat in some leather trousers and he strung me up by my wings for six months.” Noel snorts. 

“How is Luke?” He says, sounding intrigued. Calum shrugs. 

“Same old,” he says. 

“Still genocidal?” 

“Nah, he’s moved past that,” Calum says. “Realised finding ways to piss Michael off is a much more enjoyable way to spend eternity.” 

“Understandable,” Noel says, eyeing one of the lines Liam hasn’t snorted yet with interest. “You gonna fucking leave any of that for me, our kid?” Liam blinks at Him. 

“You fucking what?” he says, sounding incensed. “Who fucking bought it?”

“Who fucking wrote the songs that made you the fucking money to buy it?” Noel counters, and as Liam makes a noise of outrage, Calum rounds on Michael, looking somewhere between awed and bewildered. 

And, Michael realises with a start as Noel and Liam start to bicker loudly in the background, this is the first time Calum’s met God. In retrospect, a fucking dingy dressing room that smells of sweat and beer and is filled to the brim with alcohol and drugs was probably not the best way to introduce his Father and his boyfriend, but then again, God was the one that had known Michael would be here. Michael’s not the omniscient one. 

He wonders what Calum’s going to say. Meeting God is, after all, a pretty awe-inspiring experience. Maybe he’s thinking about the nature of good and evil, of God’s relationship with Luke, of Michael’s relationship with God, of Michael’s relationship with Calum. Maybe he’s thinking about creation, how God created the Realms that Calum dances in, how God created Calum himself. Maybe he’s thinking about the omnipotence, the omniscience, trying to comprehend what that encompasses and what it means. Maybe, Michael thinks, he’s even got questions that he wants to ask, philosophical ponderings that he’s mulled over for centuries and has finally got the opportunity to receive answers to. 

Calum opens his mouth, and Michael looks at him expectantly. 

“God does coke?” is all Calum says, and Michael rolls his eyes. 

Fucking typical.