#a hozier girl forever and always

[x0x0-flh]

my friend said she doesn’t know anyone who loves hozier as much as i do i WON.

[empress-simps]

Foolish Heart

Pairing: James Potter x Fem! Reader CW: James being oblivious to reader’s feelings, Sirius teasing, and as always- language. (1.7k words) Summary: You’ve had the biggest crush on James ever since you can remember, so imagine how hard it is to see your best friend since diapers pine over Lily Evans. The other Marauders decided to make James realize who he truly likes all along.

Note: I was listening to Hozier’s (my love) “Almost (Sweet Music)” When I suddenly thought of this idea randomly, soooooo yeah, enjoy! My updates might be slower now since I have school, but my requests/asks are still open if anyone wants to talk to me! I'd still be active on Tumblr : )

Be still, my foolish heart. Don’t ruin this on me.

It was your mantra, every time you saw James. Everything he did was perfect in your eyes; the way he hummed, eyes twinkling as he thought of a plan on how to execute their pranks, down to the way he laughed. It was heavenly, dancing around the air, lingering- as if a beautiful melody waiting to be heard by you.

And yet, you were a silent audience, watching from a far distance as he basks in the glow of Lily Evans.

Lily. The name itself was a symphony, a haunting refrain that echoed in the back of your mind. She was everything you weren’t, couldn’t be—confident, radiant, and effortlessly captivating. Her hair, a cascade of fiery red, framed her face like a halo. And James? Well, he was her devoted troubadour, strumming his heartstrings to the rhythm of her laughter.

He was hypnotized by Lily’s glow; and you were fixed on his warmth. His laughter was like sunlight filtering through leaves, warming the coldest corners of your aching and bitter heart. You wondered if he knew the ache of unrequited love—the way it makes you feel like you’re drowning in heartache, making you gasp for air.

You’d known James since you were in nappies, a strong bond forming from cheeky smiles, little adventures, empty promises, bruised knees, and grass-stained bottoms. Childhood friends; both of you are inseparable. But, unknowingly to the bespectacled boy, you slowly saw him in a different light, making you crave more about what your current relationship with him is.

James was the sun, and you were the moon—forever caught in his orbit, but never close enough to touch.

You watched as he stumbled over his words, trying to impress Lily with Quidditch tales and his pranks. And you? You were the silent observer, scribbling poems in the margins of your potions textbook.

As you settled in your usual seat next to James in the great hall, Sirius grinned, a mischievous glint evident in his eyes. “Sit beside me, pretty girl!”  He pulled you next to him, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he grabbed an apple and handed it to you. “Good morning to you too, Paddie.” You rolled your eyes playfully, obliging and sitting next to the long-haired boy and grabbing your favorite fruit from his grasp.

Remus, the ever observant one out of the group knowingly looks at Sirius as if to say, ‘I know what you’re doing’. Peter only mumbled a ‘good morning’ before going back to shoving his breakfast in his mouth, blissfully unaware of the brewing tension.

James frowned; he didn’t like the change. Not. One. Bit.

This was new- you not sitting beside him? Can someone pinch him right now since the sod thinks he might be dreaming.

James kept his mouth shut, although he couldn’t help but glance every now and then at you and Sirius chatting across the table, sporting a frown as he stabbed the eggs with a rather excessive force before showing the food on his mouth. Of course, his actions didn’t go unnoticed in the eyes of Sirius Black.

“Something wrong, Prongs?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the grin on his face as he leaned in. Never once did James think he would like to see Sirius’ smirk wiped off his face.

“Y/n sits beside me.” His jaw clenched.

You tried your best to act nonchalantly, fighting off the blush forming in your cheeks as you felt the all too familiar butterflies in your stomach.

Ah, the heartache in those words—the unspoken longing. Remus had seen it before, masked behind his bravado. James Potter, the mischief-maker, the Quidditch star, the one who chased after Lily Evans with unwavering determination. But the werewolf knew better. He saw the way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching. The way his laughter softened when you were near. The way he defended you even when you didn’t need defending.

“So? Make Red sit beside you or something.” Sirius raised a brow. You looked at Sirius with a confused look on your face, just what was up with him today?

Red. Lily Evans. The one who James practically confesses his undying love for every week. You know damn well you were not Red, and that you will never be Red.

You were Y/n- the one who held his hand when he was scared of the dark, who followed him on little adventures throughout Potter Manor when you were kids, and the one who exchanged secrets with him with hushed whispers under the moonlit skies.

But being the sod he is, he did. He had hurt you again without even knowing as he invited Lily next to him.

It went on for several weeks, each passing day hurt more than the last. It seemed like he was slowly becoming out of your reach, but Sirius was there, offering you support, and secretly trying to make James realize that he’d been hopelessly in love with you ever since the beginning of time.

The unspoken tension between you grew thicker. Sirius and the others watched, amused and exasperated. Remus, the wise one, shared knowing glances with you. Peter, ever loyal, tried to be mediator between James’s heart and his head.

Then it finally happened, James couldn’t handle it anymore. He cracked.

You were the fresh air he takes in, the anchor that keeps him still, a constant presence in his life. James Potter knew it would hurt if you weren’t by his side, but Merlin- he didn’t know it would hurt this much. He wants you- he needs you.

One stormy night in the Gryffindor Common room was the time he decided to tell you what’s going on in his mind. It was the perfect timing, really. Only him, you and the other Marauders were present in the room, the other students already headed to the dorms, as it was almost curfew.

James sighed, finally standing, and walking towards your direction, his eyes were vulnerable. “Y/n,” he began, voice trembling as he stumbles over his words. “I’ve been an idiot.”

You hummed in agreement, trying to look busy as you reread the last sentence over and over in the page of your book, “That’s not new, Potter.”

“Lily—she’s not the one I want. It’s always been you.”

It felt like the whole world stopped, the fire that was roaring suddenly stilled, your friends sat silently, frozen in shock.  All you can hear is your heart thumping loudly in your chest.

James’ gaze bore into yours, his eyes searching for a response. His hand trembled where it reached for yours, holding it tightly, fearing you'd pull away from his touch.

“James, what? If this is some kind of ploy to play with me-“

“Y/n,” he said, his voice raw, “I’ve loved you since we were kids. I was a bloody fool to deny it every time I see you."

“James,” you whispered, your throat tight, “what about Lily?”

He cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he chuckled lightly "Evans had noticed it even before I did. Said I was a knobhead for not realizing sooner." he said.

James’s gaze softened.  “You’re the girl who followed me on little adventures, who defended me during Quidditch matches, who knows my deepest fears and silliest dreams. I was fucking terrified to ruin our friendship just because I saw you more than my best friend.”

Biting your lip, you felt the all-too-familiar tears pricking your eyes. His confession made your insides warm, fuzzy, and light. You never told him how you truly felt- keeping it to yourself as you watched him chase after Lily, being supportive of him even though it kills you inside. You could deal with that; you’d be happy as long as James would be happy. Even if it’s with Lily.

Although, he was here, in front of you. Telling you that he also loves you, that he hadn’t realized it until years after.

“James, you were never just a best friend to me.” You whispered, “I was scared- terrified that you would never see me in the way that I saw you. I didn’t tell you because I would rather love you in the sidelines rather than lose you altogether.”

James’ eyes softened, he leaned closer to you; his forehead touching yours, his breath fanning your lips as he smiled softly. “I wouldn’t let you do that now, you’d be in the center of my life, where you belong.”

He placed his hand gently on your back, pulling you closer to him. “Let’s not waste any more time, yeah? We already did that for most of our years already.” James didn’t wait for you to reply when he leaned down and kissed you, cupping your face gently.

Neither of you heard your friends cheering, the fire crackling, or the rain tapping out your window.

In that moment, it felt as if you and James were the only ones in the world, you were in your own little bubble of happiness. Both of you had foolish hearts, and it had finally found each other after years and years of looking.

[libraryofolive]

𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓴

Featuring: Salaryman!Nanami Kento x fem!reader Genre: SMUT, pwp so 18+ MDNI Word count: 717 Like this? You can find my smaus here and my fics and other drabbles here! Do you have a request? You can find my rules for requesting here! A/n: Based off the Hozier song, because I saw him live and have been re-listening to his entire discography ever since. Warnings: Smut (obviously), no plot, fantasies, Nanami has a sir kink, Nanami eats you out on his desk, mentions of masturbation, mentions of premature ejaculation Synopsis: You are Nanami's new worker, and he is now finding it so hard to keep his strict separation of business and pleasure because of you.

Part 2 is here!

If you had asked Nanami Kento’s colleagues to describe him in one word, most would say professional. He kept things polite, but refused to let his personal life mix with his professional one. Sometimes, when a co-worker’s questions got to be a little too nosy, his replies could border on curt - he was the mysterious, attractive co-worker that no one could crack. He came to the office to do his job, and that was all. He was not there to make friends, and definitely not to find a romantic partner. Sure, some may call him robotic, but he always brushed that off, forever remaining professional.

But when you started working with him, that façade started teetering, constantly on the verge of crumbling when you would flash him that pretty smile of yours, or when he heard your laugh - God, your laugh drove him insane. He wondered how far he would go to pull that pretty noise from between your lips.

Before long, laughter wasn’t the only sound he wanted to draw out of you. You were alluring, the way those pencil skirts hugged your figure, showing off the shape of your thighs and the plush of your belly. Those legs of yours, elongated by those kitten heels you strut around in, full of confidence and charm. And those shirts you wear - fuck, those shirts. The way the buttons sometimes pulled against the curve of your breasts, accentuating them in a way Nanami found it hard to pull his eyes from.

He hated himself for it, the way he pictured you when he was all alone in the dark of his bedroom. He’d lie there, fisting his cock at the though of how those thighs of yours would feel wrapped around his waist as he took you there in his office. The way your heels would dig into his back, bringing him impossibly closer to you as he entered you, skirt hiked up and panties haphazardly pulled to the side. The way he would kiss you - it would be sloppy, oh so sloppy, the both of you too wrapped up in your lust to care about any sort of technique. When he pulled away to see how your eyes rolled into the back of your head, a loud moan escaping you, a line of spit still connected your mouths. You would be loud, too loud, and he would occupy your pretty mouth with two of his fingers, you sucking on them without needing to be told.

Or perhaps those thighs would be squeezing the sides head as you sat on his desk, him kneeling in front of you, eating you out like a man starved. If you suffocated him in this position he would die a happy man, the tantalising taste of you on his tongue. The way he would alternate between suckling on your clit and tongue fucking you - your cries of pleasure only urging him to bring you closer and closer to a toe-curling orgasm. Maybe he’d be jerking himself off at the same time, bringing you both to your highs as you grasped his blonde locks between your fingers, tugging harshly. The pain would only serve to heighten his pleasure as you cried out, “Please- sir, please, please let me cum! I need- I need it sir, please!” Of course, this time he’d let you release, muttering a ‘good girl’ into your sweet pussy as your cum painted his face and his own painted his hand.

He always came quickly - embarrassingly quickly - at his lewd thoughts of you. But the real torment was when they would infiltrate his mind as he stood in front of you - you were complaining to him about the latest workload your joint boss had assigned you, and he was thinking about how pretty your mouth would look wrapped around his dick. Trying not to let what he was thinking affect his exterior, Nanami kept his words calm and attempted to think of anything other than his latest fantasy. But Nanami Kento was a professional, so he would keep his words just that out of fear that you would find out just how he was imagining you - even if, not that he knew, you often imagined him in the exact same way.

[jackiepackiee]

Hihihi omg... is it alright if I request headcanons (can be romantic or platonic, I don't mind) for Stormbringer!Chuuya with a female or gender neutral reader? 16!Chuuya is so underrated and I just wanna hold him and comfort him owueuajjhsjdha but please remember to take your time with this request :) ❤ I love your writing! <3

I would die for stormbringer Chuuya

𝟣𝟨!𝒮𝐵!𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝓃𝑜𝓅𝑒

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

@silverbladexyz request

Gonna start by saying this is before the events of stormbringer so the flags aren’t dead (I can’t handle it 😭)

He has so much love to give

The type to not really know if there is love in this world, but he’s sure there is because he has so much in his heart to give

And that’s for you!

He’s still a teenage boy, sometimes nervous

You are definitely his first kiss, first love, first everything

And because of this, he holds you on a pedestal above everyone

Shy compliments, only really being bold when he’s ditzy on some foreign wine

Gentle kisses, he is absolutely terrified of harming you

Will brush your hair, kiss your cheek, clip your nails, then cuddle you

Arms wrapped so softly, but it’s still such a strong hold

This strength is great for danger

“Wear what you want, I can fight”

If anyone ever seriously bothered you, he’ll comfort you first and take care of them second

His loyalty is unmatched

Not “sorry, I have a girl.” It’s “No. I have a girl, go away.”

But that harshness melts away the second he sees you. After losing so much, he likes to have you in his sights

He trust all of the flags to care for you

Knowing his friends would never cause you harm in the slightest way

Speaking of, it was most likely Albatross that pushed him to confess.

Over a bet on pool, loser had to listen to the winner. The flags, being wingmen, made Chuuya finally confess.

He had no excuse not to, he was already head over heels

You aren’t a bet, mind you. It’s simply it was the push he needed to do what he was planning for what felt like forever

Assuming you met in the port mafia, he won’t talk much on his past

His new past, the sheep. He likes to stay quiet.

He will never admit it, but because you’re around the same age as the sheep members he sometimes feels as if you’ll leave in betrayal

The best way to comfort him is taking out his little ponytail and playing with his hair

And his… earlier past. Not even he knows the full truth. It’s unlikely he’ll tell you much for many reasons

One, he doesn’t wanna scare you away. Two, he’s scared you’ll think he isn’t human too. Three, he wants you safe and uninvolved. And four, it’s hard to talk about for him

But, of course you do find out. He was terrified for your reaction

So when you said you loved him all the same, he couldn’t just about died. Swearing he saw an angel

That is the first time you see him cry. The stress, fear, confusion, dehumanization. It’s too much, he breaks

You take him in your arms and pet his hair like you always do. A gentle kiss and reassurance works wonders for him.

On a lighter note… GET A PUPPY

Mention you’re the mom and he’s the dad, he’ll melt like ice in the sun

A big dog definitely, something that could probably jump over the two of you.

At 16 he runs the gemstone black market for the port mafia, so expect the most expensive jewels on your neck and wrists.

Anniversary, birthday, holiday, or just a random weekday. Doesn’t matter

Only a year in the port mafia and he’s already rich, so what’s it to him?

Over all, he’s never been in love before. Be gentle and honest. He doesn’t need much, just you.

[misscongeniality18]

Hi! I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS SO MUCH SO I'M HERE AGAIN! This time I would like to ask you to write something about Kaz Brekker and reader where she is like a longtime friend and a member of the Crows. The two have always had feelings for each other but never spoke about it so, when they argue because something dangerous happens, the truth comes out and a smut at the end?! I love this prompt so much. I don't know why but I'm so obsessed with best friends to lovers!

OMG girl yes, I love this trope too! This is my first fic with any smut, but I'll try my best! I also didn't mean to make this so long, but it just sort of happened?

Movement - Kaz Brekker (18+, Minors DNI)

Synopsis ! You and Kaz have been friends forever, but lately, you couldn't help but want something more. When the two of you are put in danger's path, both of your truths are out in the open. Pairing ! Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Genres ! Friends-to-lovers, angst, fluff, smut Warnings ! Violence, blood, danger, language, reader is the only one who can touch Kaz, maybe slightly ooc Kaz?, kissing, nudity, sexual content (fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex [wrap it up people]) Word Count - 3047

" When you move

I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be

When you move

I could never define all that you are to me "

- Movement, Hozier

Masterlist Request Guide

You and Inej ran across the rooftops, jumping from gable to gable. Tonight's heist had a plentiful bounty that sat nestled in Inej's pockets. The two of you had been charged with stealing some pieces of the Ravkan crown jewels that had been taken from the palace and illegally sold.

What did Kaz want with stolen jewels? He may be your best friend, but not even you could read his mind. He had tells, of course, as did almost everybody, but Kaz’s past made him especially skillful at hiding them. You knew this all too well.

After all, you had been the one to pull him out of the harbor.

You had been infected with firepox like Kaz and his brother, but Jordie was the only one who perished out of the three of you. You didn’t know them personally at the time, only in passing. When you and Kaz were both dumped into the harbor with the others who had died, thought to be dead yourselves, you had woken up to same horrors of rotting corpses around you and the feeling of cold, mushy flesh.

While you had been around death and illness before—witnessing your parents die of the disease—Kaz hadn’t seen anything like this until then. He’d had to use his brother’s body as a life raft to swim to shore. You’d grown up swimming in a nearby fishing village, so you swam to shore easily. When you saw Kaz struggling, you’d reached out to him, and he’d hung onto you for dear life.

That night had been traumatizing for him, and for years afterwards, he was unable to touch anyone. It took several more years to get him to touch you, and you’d been patient and worked with Kaz to get used to the feeling of skin on skin again. But it could only be you. Anyone else, and he’d be right back in the water.

You were always there to pull Kaz out of the murky depths, witnessing him at his lowest. You were also there to see him in his triumph of leading his Crows and defeating Pekka Rollins. Finally, he could rest, and Kaz wanted to do it with you.

While planning heists, of course.

Kaz didn’t want you going along, and he’d always try to persuade you to stay behind or at least stay by his side. He always had a soft side for you, so he’d usually meet you halfway. You were in the same boat; your connection to Kaz originated from your soul, and you’d do anything to appease him. But tonight, Kaz wasn’t there, so you took the opportunity to join Inej on the rooftops.

You just didn’t expect anyone to shoot you.

Kaz stormed into your room at the Slat, the door slamming into the wall behind him as he took in your white undershirt lifted just enough to reveal the bloodied gash on the side of your ribs. “What the hell happened?”

You rolled your eyes as Jesper held you down while Nina worked to heal the wound in your side. “It’s a scratch, Kaz. I’m totally fine. The bullet didn’t hit anything serious.”

“Bullet?!” Kaz exclaimed in shock. “I was told you fell off the roof.”

Wylan, from his spot in the corner of the room, hummed in opposition. “That was after she was shot.”

You suddenly let out a groan, squirming in Jesper’s arms. Kaz rushed over as fast as he could, ignoring the searing pain in his leg. “Move, Jes.”

Kaz took Jesper’s spot in keeping you still while Nina finished healing you. “It’s going to leave a scar, but you should be fine by the morning. Good thing the bullet never actually went through you.”

“That will be enough, Nina,” Kaz said lowly, and everyone knew to clear the room as fast as they could.

As soon as the others were gone, you sighed, pulling your undershirt down to cover your bandage. “Say what you’re going to say and get it over with.”

“How the fuck could you be so stupid? Joining Inej on the roof, of all places? Why not be with Nina or Jesper on the ground? We all know how clumsy you are, so it was just a matter of time before you fell off, and oh, look. You did!”

You snorted. “Like Wylan said, that was after I was shot.”

Kaz glared at you as he paced the room, leaning heavily on his cane. “That doesn’t make it any better.”

“Nothing ever does. You never let me do anything.” A child-like pout formed on your lips, and Kaz wanted to tuck your bottom lip back in place.

He refrained, however. “I have my reasons.”

“Saints, Kaz,” you huffed, sitting up and carefully standing, trying to keep your bandages in place. “If you’re not going to let me go on jobs, why am I even here?”

Kaz met your eyes, the most intense and unique shade of blue you’d ever seen. “When we were young, we promised to stick together. Don’t you remember?”

You swallowed, memories flashing behind your eyes; pinkies interlocking, teary eyes, and yes, the promise that the two of you had made.

“Of course I remember, you idiot,” you replied, holding out your pinkie finger.

Kaz glanced down at it out of the corner of his eye, dead set on refusing, but he could never say no to you. He sighed, linking your bare finger with his gloved one. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he whispered, deep and low in his throat.

You shook your head, lips turning upwards. “You will never lose me, Kaz. I’m yours forever.”

Something crossed his eyes for a brief moment, something you’d never seen before.

“What is it?” You asked.

“Do you mean that? That you’re mine?”

You furrowed your brow, searching his face, but he turned away. “Kaz? What is it? Why are you asking me this?”

He sighed your name, closing his eyes. “I—I think I…The way that I feel about you…I think it’s…I think…”

Kaz trailed off, his chest rising with every breath, unable to finish his sentence, and he turned away. But his shield dropped, and you were able to see every emotion he was feeling.

Now you recognized what you were seeing. You’d just never seen it in Kaz before. It all made sense. The way he never wanted you in harm’s way, how he would always turn to you for advice, secrets that only you knew, the smiles that appeared only when you were around. Kaz cared for you. He…

He loved you.

Your heart soared because you loved him too. You have for a while now, but you’d never been able to act on it. Yes, Kaz was able to touch you, but in this capacity, you weren’t sure.

Taking the small step to close the distance between you was terrifying, but you were meant for terrifying things.

“Yes, Kaz,” you whispered. “I’m yours.”

You looked down at his lips, the palest of pinks. Your breaths intermingled, you were so close. “Are you… Can I…?”

You hated that you couldn’t get the questions out. It was Kaz, but you still felt like you should know him well enough not to ask. But since it was Kaz, you had to. You didn’t want to do anything he wasn’t ready for.

“I’ve never… I don’t know how,” he admitted, turning away from you, cheeks turning the color of his lips.

“It’s okay,” you said, slowly lifting a hand. At your inquiring gaze, Kaz nodded. Your hand was warm against his cool skin. “I’ll follow your move.”

Kaz inched closer, noses brushing. “Is this okay?”

You nodded, eyelids fluttering. “Yes. Are you okay?”

He let out a breath, sending gooseflesh over your skin. “Yes,” he answered, and then his lips touched yours.

It was like no kiss you’ve ever had before. The others you’d kissed had been rushed, a frenzy of lips and tongues and teeth. But Kaz’s kiss, it was slow and deliberate, like he wanted to stop time itself and stay in this moment with you.

All in all, you were seeing a different side of Kaz. He usually had a hard exterior, the ruthless Bastard of the Barrel persona he had created. When he was alone with you, he was more relaxed and open, but still haunted by the ghosts of his past. You’d never gotten to know the boy he was before, only the one you had helped out of the harbor.

Was this who you were seeing? Not Kaz Brekker, but Kaz Rietveld? A boy who was curious and sweet-natured, tender and benevolent?

Then his tongue stroked your bottom lip, and you jumped in surprise.

“Was that wrong?” Kaz asked, panic lighting up his eyes.

“No,” you said, shocked. “It was right.”

Kaz grinned at you, a true smile this time, not the little thing he did as the notorious gang leader, and his gloved hands gingerly touching your waist, careful of your injury. “Can we do it again?”

You returned the smile. “Yes.”

He kissed you again, much more confident and sure than before. When his hands moved across your waist, brushing your bandaged side, you gasped.

“Sorry,” he mumbled against your lips between kisses.

You hummed, chills running down your spine when his hands gripped your hips. “It’s okay.”

“I’d like to try something else, if that’s okay?”

You pulled back a hair’s breadth to look into his eyes, his pupils blown wide, and you knew how much your kisses were affecting him. “Are you sure? This isn’t moving too fast for you?”

“I’ve wasted enough time, and I don’t want to wait any longer. I just…” He lowered his head, stray bits of his hair brushing against your bare shoulder. “I’ve never done this before.”

You brushed away the hair that had fallen forward, lifting his head to you. Your fingers tangled themselves in his dark locks, silky and fine to the touch. “We’ll take it one step at a time.”

Kaz leaned forward and kissed your forehead, a simple, gratuitous kiss, and then he brushed his lips across your temple, your cheekbones, your jaw, and then the crook of your neck. He was experimenting, finding each touch a new and thrilling way to explore you. “Is this okay?” He mumbled against your shoulder.

You had your head tilted back, eyes closed. Every single one of Kaz’s kisses tingled against your skin, and your breath came out in pants. “Yes,” you gasped. “Don’t stop.”

Kaz continued to press kisses to your shoulders, across your collarbone, against your throat. “Tell me what to do,” he whispered.

“Do whatever you want,” you breathed.

“And if I want to take your shirt off?”

You opened your eyes, lids heavy with want. Kaz’s eyes were blazing with a fire you’d only ever seen when he’d defeated Pekka Rollins, but that had been a sinister and triumphant flame, and this was burning only for you out of desire.

“Then take it off.”

Kaz fingered the hem of your shirt, lifting it ever so slowly. He avoided the bandage on your side, and when the garment was over your head, he tossed it to the floor.

“Saints,” Kaz cursed, gazing at your bare skin and breasts. “You’re so beautiful,”

You pulled him towards you, kissing him feverishly. “Touch me, please.”

Kaz ran a hand over belly, up your ribcage, and lightly trailed his fingers over the swell of your breast, causing you to gasp in his mouth. “Is that good?” He asked, his voice low and coarse.

“Yes.”

“What about this?” He inquired as his thumb brushed against your nipple.

“Yes,” you whined, enjoying his experimentation. He wasn’t trying to be seductive, you knew, but Saints, he was doing a very good job. Your lower belly fluttered, and desire pooled between your legs.

“And if I were to…”

A gasp left your lips as his mouth closed around a nipple, tongue swirling around the sensitive bud. One of his hands squeezed the breast not occupied by his mouth, and the other settled low on your hip, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your ass.

Your own hands gripped the collar of Kaz’s shirt, and you pulled him towards your bed. He moved to support you as the two of you lowered to the mattress.

Kaz gazed down at you, bare and flushed for him, glowing in the candlelight. You really were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. If it was between you or mountains of gold, he’d choose you in a heartbeat. Hell, he’d even give the gold to Pekka if it meant keeping you forever.

You trailed your fingers over the expanse of his clothed chest, feeling the hard muscles underneath. Then you undid one button, and then another, and another. You blinked up at him, searching him for hesitation. “Is this okay?”

Kaz nodded, starting to undo some buttons himself, and your fingers met in the middle to slide the fabric over his shoulders together. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close to you, feeling his bare chest against yours as your lips met again. Legs opening to accommodate his body, you held him to you, and you never wanted to let go.

Hands were everywhere, to your surprise. Never before has Kaz touched you like this, so unreserved and wanting. Before, he would give you a hand to help you up, or a simple pat on the shoulder for a job well done. But this, you didn’t want him to stop.

His hands brushed against the fastenings of your pants, and the hesitation set it. Kaz’s throat bobbed, and before he could say anything, you reached down and undid the buttons yourself, shimmying the material over your hips and kicking it to the floor.

Kaz raked his gaze over you, a faint blush creeping over his skin. He licked his lips, his fingers sliding down your hip, over your thigh. His eyes met yours, and you felt yourself melting under the intensity of his desire. “Can I?” He asked, and you opened your legs in answer.

One finger ran over your seam, and your breath hitched. Then Kaz spread you, the pad of his finger brushing against the tiny bundle of nerves that made you moan. Kaz looked up at you, mischief gleaming in his eyes, and he touched you there again.

Your head thrown back, you gripped your sheets tightly, the anticipation making you squirm. Kaz followed the trail of your wetness to your entrance, and he drew tiny circles around you, and your hips bucked in search for more. This made Kaz curious, so he slowly pushed his finger into you, and you sighed.

You were so warm and wet, Kaz found. And the more he moved his finger, withdrawing it from you before sliding back in, the wetter you became. The sounds you made stirred something within him, setting his heart to pounding.

Then you moaned his name when he hit a certain spot inside of you.

“Kaz.”

He lifted his head to you, and you were watching him, your pupils so dilated, they covered the beautiful color of your irises. Your chest was rising and falling as you stared at him, and then you sat up, causing his finger to leave your warmth.

You reached for him, pulling his face to yours in a kiss. “I need you,” you whispered against his lips, and your hands were creating a trail down his chest and to his belt. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Kaz said, and his hands joined yours in unbuckling his belt. Together, you removed his pants, and Kaz kicked off his shoes.

You slid a hand between you, touching the hard length of him with your fingertips. A groan left him, and his head dropped to rest against your shoulder. You pressed a kiss to his hair as you wrapped your hand around him, slowly moving up and down. He grew harder with every stroke, and he began to press kisses to your neck and shoulder.

An idea sparked in your mind, and you hooked one leg around his hips, flipping so you were on top. Kaz’s eyes went wide, and he met yours as excitement and expectation set in. You continued to stroke him, and as you moved to hover over him, you asked, “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” he replied, and he crashed his mouth to yours as you slowly lowered onto him.

Saints, this was better than your hand. You were extraordinary. Mouths moving against one another, bodies joined in a way that was so intimate, nothing would ever take its place. This was heaven, and Kaz would never be the same after this.

You moved, sliding your hips away from his before returning back to him. Every stroke of you around him made Kaz’s insides tighten until it felt like he was going to burst. He ran his hands over every inch of you he could reach, over your arms and shoulders, your waist, and following the movement of your hips.

The moans continued to leave your mouth even as you kissed him, and when you muttered that you were close, he felt you tighten around him, and that was his undoing.

Everything within Kaz shattered, as if something snapped within him. He held you against him, not wanting to let you go. When your breath returned, you slid off of him, the evidence of his release sticking to the insides of your thighs.

“Will you hand me my shirt?” You asked, collapsing beside him.

Kaz leaned over the side of the bed, grabbing the thin undershirt you had been wearing. You cleaned him off first, then yourself before throwing the shirt back to the floor. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, Kaz held you close, and you tucked your head underneath his chin. Your legs were intertwined, and so were your fingers, the sweat making your bodies stick together.

This moment was perfection, Kaz thought, and he nuzzled your hair.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Your lips turned upwards in a smile as you pressed them lightly to his chest, eyes growing heavy with exhaustion.

“I love you, too.

[ohsc]

₊˚⊹♡ blondie’s wips

a collection of drafts or ideas i have for future fics in no particular order. please feel free to ask about them if you’re curious, but i swap about a bit in writing them so please don’t ask for ones to be completed first / try to rush me in finishing them. fic writing is supposed to be fun!! i may also post drabbles from time to time that never make it onto this post because i write them pretty spontaneously :)

my masterlist is here for my completed works.

if you’d like to be tagged in any specific fics, or added to my tag list, please reply underneath this post what you want to be tagged in (eg. what characters, sfw/nsfw, etc).

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

sam winchester x reader

• peter | hurt/comfort song fic with peter by taylor swift, reader and sam were close as kids and always promised they’d run away together some day, but when sam goes to stanford they lose touch until years later — have started writing

• polaroids | nsfw smut/fluff fic, writing as a gift for a friend, for sam’s birthday reader decides to give him a few presents for his eyes only — have started writing

• we’ll never have sex | hurt/comfort song fic with we’ll never have sex by leith ross, reader is used to being used for her body in all past relationships, so when sam comes along and loves her for her, it’s a welcome and soothing change — have started writing

• i’ll be summer sun for you forever | hurt/comfort fic, sam’s trauma from his torture in the beginning of s12 never left, and after a day of really struggling with it, reader helps him relax and have a soothing evening — have started writing

• juno | fluff single girl dad sam fic, reader is a new waitress at the local diner that sam often takes his daughter to, and both he and his daughter juno build a connection with the kind waitress — haven’t started writing

• in a week | angst hurt/comfort song fic with in a week by hozier, sam and reader have both been fatally hurt, but maybe dying isn’t so bad if they die together — haven’t started writing

[mybedroomceilingsbored]

hey y'all!

you can call me Mouse! i'm a nerdy, artsy-craftsy, music-loving, socially awkward, incredibly enthusiastic GEEK.

i love chatting with people and making new friends, always feel free to shoot me an ask/dm :)

about me

☼ she/her pronouns are great! ☼ i'm a minor ☼ lesbian (or something like that) ☼ i'm a dancer! (ballet, pointe, modern, jazz, tap, and hip-hop) ☼ i play the piano, flute, and ukulele, and i'm learning trumpet ☼ i love hugs and physical touch ☼ i use a ton of pet names-lmk what you're comfortable with! ☼ pisces sun/moon, scorpio rising ☼ infp-t 2w3 (explanations linked, if you're curious) ☼ one (1) beach completed, on my way to becoming an Official Certified Ken (credit: my very dear @green-binder) ☼ i tend to forget things-please don't take anything i do/don't do personally! chances are it just slipped my mind. ☼ i love interacting with people, but i do sometimes burn out. sometimes i just don't have the energy to reply to something or continue a conversation, please don't take it personally!

not rlly doing chain mail atm, sorry!

i've got a funky lil tma sideblog @consumedbywhatlovesme if you're interested, hyperfixation still going STRONG 💪

things i love...

☼ cavetown!! ☼ the magnus archives ☼ coraline ☼ hozier ☼ plants/gardening ☼ ancient greek mythology and culture ☼ microbiology ☼ slime molds! ☼ mushrooms and other fungi ☼ stranger things ☼ pjo ☼ cats! ☼ good omens ☼ baking ☼ crochet/knitting ☼ long bike rides ☼ sketching and painting ☼ rainy days

... and people i love!

@15millionfireflies, @bleep-bloop-boo, @brains-out-rn, @ch3rry-t0mat0, @currently-becoming-potatoes, @dormienscattus,

@fairyycoffin, @forever-bi-panic, @galaxys-universe, @green-binder, @hugallurfriends,

@i-eat-so-much-grass, @joespookyregardinghappenenings, @margaret-the-duck, @marisolebio, @mossy-stormcloud,

@remithegayshoebill, @sad-girl-shit11, @sagaofa-dying-star, @scatteredraysofhope,

@small-giggle, @that-dam-heartstopper-fan, @the-chaotic-snek, @theladyofpaintedstars, @thestrawberryapologist,

@totheidiot, @trans-lobotomy, @urlocalsadkid-l, @wistfulenchantress, @yelenapines

comfort books...

☼ a psalm for the wild built, a prayer for the crown-shy, coraline, the electric kingdom, the song of achilles, truly devious, a wrinkle in time, inward, heartstopper, the secret garden, severance, they

... movies, tv, and podcasts...

☼ coraline, the magnus archives, heartstopper, spirited away, stranger things, good omens, various concert films, over the garden wall, gravity falls

... and foods

☼ hot cocoa, peach tea, lemon cookies, asparagus, fresh sourdough, grapefruit, chocolate chip cookie dough, berries of any kind

currently listening to

favorite artists

☼ cavetown, hozier, lizzy mcalpine, luz, wallows, girl in red, taylor swift, mother mother, billie eilish, david kushner, madilyn mei, coin, tv girl, fuvk, gregory alan isakov, mxmtoon, boygenius (+ solo work), hayd, maya hawke, pomme, the paper kites, novo amor

songs i try to live by

☼ talk to you (cavetown) ☼ hug all ur friends (cavetown) ☼ carry you (novo amor) ☼ words (gregory alan isakov) ☼ pancakes for dinner (lizzy mcalpine) ☼ let light be light (lizzy mcalpine) ☼ cold (novo amor) ☼ crooked the road (mon rovia)

please send me music recs!! i usually listen to indie pop, indie folk, and indie rock/modern rock, but i'm always happy to listen to something new :)

moodboard by my darling @wistfulenchantress <33

congrats on making it all the way to the end haha!!

have a beautiful day/night sweetheart, love ya :)

(dividers by @/saradika-graphics, their stuff is absolutely gorgeous)

[all-da-ladies-luv-leoo]

pjo characters as songs from my spotify playlist:

(pt. 2)

Percy: Run Boy Run by Woodkid

↳ tomorrow is another day and you won’t have to hide away; you’ll be a man, boy but for now it’s time to run

Annabeth: W.I.T.C.H. by Devon Cole

↳ and she don’t wanna be anybody else, she’s a woman in total control of herself

Grover: Heaven by The Walkmen

↳ stick with me, oh your my best friend; all of my life, you’ve always been

Nico: This is Home by Cavetown

↳ get a load of this monster, he doesn’t know how to communicate; his mind is in a different place

Leo: Trying My Best by Anson Seabra

↳ i hope that you can see the pain that i’ve seen and all of the times i’ve spent being not me; i hope you know that it’s not always happy in my head

Piper: Girl is a G*n by Halsey

↳ it’s a shot in the dark, i’m not a walk in the park, i come loaded with the safety switched off

Jason: Keanu Reeves by Chase Petra

↳ and i hurt like a child with an unreconciled need to carve out a smile on a face i revile

Hazel: Could Have Been Me by The Struts

↳ don’t wanna live as an untold story; i’d rather go out in a blaze of glory

Frank: Work Song by Hozier

↳ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her

Reyna: Centuries by Fall Out Boy

↳ some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold but you will remember me; remember me for centuries

Will: Sun Machine by Bears in Trees

↳ i’ve got something to prove, i don’t know what it is yet but it’s golden as the stars you drew in the corners of my eyes

Thalia: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears

↳ help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure; nothing ever lasts forever

[imperpetuallylost]

✮welcome to my blog! it's a mess✮

✮my name is lea, i'm probably a lesbian, and i use she/they pronouns

✮don’t wanna be 18 with responsibilities

✮ tracking #usermango, tag me in your creations!!!

✮my asks and dms are always open!

✮i'm an intp/entp and a capricorn

✮evermore stan forever

✮certified bot fucker

✮proud member of @goosecoven

✮lover of mangoes, frogs, tote bags, colorful pens, converse, and tea

✮i love reading, but i don't get to do it as much as i'd like because of how busy i am

✮i spend most of my life with earbuds in, i am almost always listening to music

✮i love math and science, especially physics, and im currently studying mechanical engineering

✮i love sitcoms and binge watch them constantly, but don't post about them all that often

currently reading: agggtm (goose coven book club!!!)

currently watching: the mindy project, the good place, every john mulaney comedy special on loop

music: chappell roan, maisie peters, gracie abrams, chappell roan, phoebe bridgers, sabrina carpenter, taylor swift, chappell roan, olivia rodrigo, mxmtoon, chappell roan, boygenius, chappell roan, chloe moriondo, girl in red, conan gray, beach bunny, chappell roan, the national, lizzy mcalpine, lyn lapid, hozier, chappell roan, the 1975, renee rapp, niki, laufey, claire rosinkranz, muna, lana del rey, chappell roan, grace enger, beabadoobee, chappell roan, jenevieve, noah kahan, suki waterhouse, probably more im forgetting, oh and chappell roan

fandoms: taylor swift, good omens, maisie peters, chappell roan, percy jackson, marvel, heartstopper (i desperately need to read more osemanverse books but have no time), and probably others

tags: text posts, asks, original content, collages, polls

taglist: dm/send an ask if u want to be added!

#userrat #usergoose #userkarolina #usernolan #cbhf #userrobbiececilia #userdiya #tsusermaeve #userjake #tsuserjen #userallinol #usereyesopentv #userspoon #usermintchip #userlemon #tsusermels

@sergeantpixie @l0veyoumadly @candle-wax-and-polariods @stars-over-ice-cream @schmice-schmockey @countessklair @alwaysbethisclose @alexcodecido @elham-2001-s @gambitandrogues @youcanfacethis @pplswindows13 @always-heather @grapefruitandgasoline @briannaswords

[superficial-ly]

C R I M I N A L M I N D S ‘ S F A V A L B U M S

JJ first coz that’s my girl - Stick Season (We’ll all be here forever) by Noah Kahan

• the getting out of a small town i hav so many regrets vibes

• THE SONG CALL UR MOM its jj

• it hurts to listen to but she won’t stop she needs a piece of home to cling to even if it’s not hers

Emily coz that’s my girls girl - Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

• she had never known peace since

• moon song as jemily double ouch

• special mention to funeral in relation to matthew she genuinely cant listen to it. she made the mistake of trying once on the jet and she will never again.

hotch i love him - Wasteland, Baby by Hozier

• hotch loves like it hurts bc it does. all of his love hurts him. but he still loves bc that’s js who he is and hozier is perfect for that i think

• wasteland, baby especially i think in reference to haley. its a hard listen but one he loves he thinks it honours her in a way.

• its perfect

spenecer my habib - Carrie and Lowell by Sufjan Stevens

• i think it’s just peaceful enough but not mind numbing that he can focus on it as well as fall asleep if he needs to

• fourth of july especially for everyone he’s ever lost is a double ouch all these acts of service to try and bring someone back bc he struggles to grasp the fact that when a person is gone, there’s nothing left to do.

morgan - not exactly an album but Tupac’s Greatest Hits is on contant rotation in his little headset thingy (so cute omg)

• all of tupac is like especially upbeat with values and ideals and deep real world reflections and he DIGS it

• especially likes Keep your Head up it reminds him of his mom and ehy he joined the fbi - he wants to help the underdog

• (morgan was DEVASTATED with the tupac beef with biggy)

penelope my girl - the rise and fall of a midwest princess by chappell roan

• she assigns them all their individual songs from the album but she is the avatar.

• she cannot do sad music so this shit is her JAMM

• femininomenon or however u spell it is a personal favourite. HOT TO GO is second

• also shes sapphic even if she only dates men in the show so she EXTRA GETS IT

tara my baby who deserved better is 100% Planet Her by Doja

• Ain’t Shit? her jam she knows all the jams

• woman is one of her favourites.

• her and rebecca sing kiss me more in the shower

luke - definitely tyler but i’m struggling between Flower Boy and IGOR

• he has that kind of i am happy to be loving u kind of vibe even if he knows the world is messed up. he so severely fucks with tyler and the whole rap genre be loved finding references he previously missed he thinks he’s a genius (he’s right)

alex blake - songs by adrienne lenker

• she stumbled across it one day and while it wasn’t the usual stuff she listened to she gave it a chance

• she never turned back

• she likes the retro feel and half return makes her FEEL like nothing else can

• shes complicated okay? not a lot just forever for her son? ouch

kate - SOS by sza

• this one’s hard bc she’s a hard core “feel things? no thank u. let’s rock!”

• i think good days is so special to her in a really quiet way

• j think kill bill makes her laugh really hard

jordan todd i never hated u - good girl gone bad: reloaded by rihanna

• she was so special to me. a wow on the team pre-2010. this was history. either way

• breakin dishes bc she is so happy at counter terrorism but watching emily fight men will always do it for her (they were sapphics ur honour)

• shes a club girly. dont stop the music, umbrella she was living for that shit

elle cutie patootie - Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Ray

• its hers i can’t

• shes so lana guys “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me” ????? it’s HERS

• “how to disappear” pls be so serious

jason gideon papa extraordinaire - Tapestry by Carole King

• he misses the 70s gang (so do i (i wasn’t born))

• Home Again makes him cry. he can’t explain it. hee never has to.

• so far away after he left the bau - his heart was basically empty but he couldn’t fill it with any more darkness he had to go. it hurt him so bad guys he literally died from it

matt simmons - anything from my little pony

• i’m sorry guys he recognises they’re killer tracks

• also his 8 million kids he watches it like three times a day

• unironically listens to battle of the bands

• kristy hates him for it.

[silly-little-gooses]

averyjameson playlist

~ me and my husband (mitski)

~ so american (olivia rodrigo)

~ wonderland (taylor swift)

~ american money (børns)

~ stargirl interlude (the weeknd, lana del rey)

~ I wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

~ gold rush (taylor swift)

~ style (taylor swift)

~ until I found you (stephen sanchez)

~ west coast (lana del rey)

~ national anthem (lana del rey)

~ matilda (harry styles)

~ why’d you only call me when you’re high? (arctic monkeys)

~ dark red (steve lacy)

~ the blonde (tv girl)

~ arabella (arctic monkeys)

~ brooklyn baby (lana del rey)

~ give it to me (timbaland, justin timberlake, nelly furtado)

~ the lakes (original version) (taylor swift)

~ cigarette daydreams (cage the elephant)

~ backyard boy (claire rosinkranz)

~ always forever (cults)

~ pierre (ryn weaver)

~ work song (hozier)

~ real love baby (father john misty)

~ falling for ya (from teen beach movie)

~ wonder (shawn mendes)

~ I love you too much (from the book of life)

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 13

“I can’t breathe”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: I couldn’t pick just one gif for this chapter 🫠 sorry, not sorry. Also, I support Joel Millers rights, and his wrongs.

Summary: 20 years have passed since out-break day. Joel hasn’t heard from his younger brother Tommy in 3 weeks. He’s terrified of the thought of losing the last member of his family. You’re afraid that you’re losing him entirely.

~word count: 5.8k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, so much fucking angst I’m so sorry. Swearing, mean! joel, protective! joel, dark! joel, possessive, joel!, violent actions have violent consequences! joel, fluff (if you squint and use a damn magnifying glass) gaslighting, arguing, brief mentions of death, graphic violence with a knife, feelings, emotions, anger, rage, (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter:

“i can’t breathe” by Bea Miller

“Poison & Wine” by The Civil Wars

“exile” by T-Swift & Bon Iver

“As It Was” by Hozier

“Rage” by Samantha Margret

“I’m a Mess” by Ed Sheeran

“Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala

“How to disappear” by Lana Del Ray

“Arms Of A Stranger” by Niall Horan

“Till Forever Falls Apart” by Ashe, FINNEAS

Year 2023. 20 years after out-break day : Boston QZ

Joel Miller always struggled dealing with loss of any kind. It started with losing Sarah. The grief, anger, anguish he felt in the last moments he had with her while she faded in his arms. He didn’t want to go on after that. What the fuck was the point when the world had fucking ripped his baby girl from his arms. He struggled with the possibility of losing you. Seeing you nearly bleed out on the kitchen table, his hands stained with your blood. It was too fucking much. If you would have died that night, surely he would meet his end shortly after. He knew the feeling all too well.

For the past two years, shit had been pretty sweet. Almost, too sweet. You refused to let yourself get caught up in the possibility of things going south with Joel. You wanted to live in every fucking moment you had with him. Carefree, happy, in love. You knew deep down that this wouldn’t last. You would have been naive if you believed nothing would ever come between you and Joel. The fucked up world you lived in, and the horrors that existed within, would always be there. Haunting you.

You trusted Joel with your life. He had given no reason for you to not put your full devotion into him. In more ways than one, you had saved each other. That trust mattered so fucking much to you. You were loyal to a fault. It was your fatal flaw.

Joel had been contacting his brother frequently. Tommy was the last of Joel’s blood and he would be damned if he would end up losing him too. Joel didn’t like when he felt like he had no control over a situation. It drove him up a fucking wall, devoured him skin and flesh till only his brittle bones were left. The fear of losing those he loved deeply, was constantly on his mind.

Joel had not heard from Tommy in three weeks. Three fucking weeks. He went and checked with the radio guy everyday. It was the same response of “we’re talking to the tower everyday. Nothing from Tommy.” This was not good enough for Joel. He needed to know that his younger brother was safe, that he was alive and well. Why the fuck wasn’t he responding? His mind instantly went to the worst possible outcome; Tommy being dead. It’s all he could think about.

Today with him he brought freshly rolled cigarettes, carefully tucked away in his coat pocket. He wanted answers, and he intended to get them, one way or another. He wasted no time to cut the line of other QZ residents waiting to send their message out. He didn’t care. He found himself with his elbow leaning over a rusted metal shelf. His patience was growing thin as he stood there, looming. He had a habit of playing with his fingers, picking at the dry skin around his cuticles, till they would crack and bleed. You had taken notice that he was doing this frequently now.

When it was finally his turn, he wasted no time to walk over. Plopping down into the chair with a thud as he reached into his jacket pocket and slid over the rolled cigarettes, his elbow resting along the worn wood.

“Nothin? Is there any chance it’s comin’in at night? You’re sleepin, you miss it?” Joel asked.

“When I’m sleeping, Gabriela listens, or my son.” The man spoke as he lit the cigarette, tossing the lighter to the side as he took a short inhale. The tip of the cigarette burning bright orange. “If Tommy responded, we’d know.”

Joel didn’t like the answers he was receiving. Not one fuckin bit. There had to be more information, there just had to be.

“And you’re talkin’ to the tower?”

“Every day, Joel.”

Bullshit is what he thought.

“They gave him your message, they haven’t seen or heard from him since, and that’s it.”

Lies.

“It’s been three fuckin weeks. It’s never taken Tommy more than a day to respond. Do you get that? Cause i’m startin’ to think that you ain’t seein’ the problem here.”

The man sighed, leaning forward as he held the cigarette off to the side, the smoke billowing upwards. “Joel, I'm sure Tommy is alright.”

“Show me where the tower is.”

“Joel, you can’t be serious. The tower is in Wyoming. You’re a capable guy, but there are worse things than infected out there.”

“You think I don’t fuckin realize that?” He scoffed. Crossing his arms over his chest, his jaw clenching tightly as he ground his teeth together.

“There are raiders, there’s slavers…” He trailed off.

“But you’re “sure” Tommy’s okay? Joel asked, his brow raised.

“It’s, uh, it’s the Cody tower…Q-bar 4, but I don’t know exactly–”

Joel was already up from his chair and leaving. He got the information he needed, now to devise a plan, leave the QZ, and find Tommy.

___________

Joel had no plan. No fuckin clue how he was going to get to Wyoming, but he would be damned if he didnt try. He was well aware that he wasn’t spending a lot of time with you these days. You both were working shit FEDRA jobs. Different hours, and by the time either of you would make it home, you both were too exhausted to speak.

You had known for the past few weeks that something was up with Joel. You didn’t want to pry, or make him feel like he had to tell you what was bothering him. You wanted him to come to you, tell you himself exactly what was going on. You couldn’t deny the fact that not knowing what was going on, was hurting you. It felt like he was purposely pushing you away. You didn't want to assume the worst of your lover, but it was hard not to when he was stumbling in hours past curfew, piss drunk. He would sleep with his back facing you. You wondered if this was exactly the way Tess had felt when she realized she was losing him.

You were barely sleeping most nights. Always waiting up for him, waiting for his return. You’d pretend to be asleep when the bed would dip down from his weight on it. You’d secretly pray that he’d wrap you up in his warm, strong arms finally. The moment never came and you felt so cold, so empty. You bottled it up, allowing it to devour you from the inside out.

One particular night, Joel had come stumbling in, a bottle of half drank whiskey in his grasp. He was high off something. Whatever pills he could get on. Pills that he had smuggled in for ration cards. He didn’t give a damn about his next meal. He just wanted to numb his feelings. Bury them so fuckin deep, that you, his sunlight, would never be able to reach them.

You could hear the sound of his keys clanking on the kitchen table. The front door locking shut. Then, his footsteps. His boots were heavy on the creaky floorboards. You heard his approach just outside the bedroom door, could hear his mumbling as he pushed it open, revealing your curled up form under the covers. The moonlight from the window casting a soft glow against your face. You looked beautiful, you always did.

You could hear his staggered, heavy steps. The bed dipped down beside you as he slowly sank down, the bottle of whiskey held between his knees as he leaned over and whispered, “you awake?”

You let out a sigh as you rolled over so you were facing him. Your eyes slowly fluttered open as you watched him bring the rim of the bottle to his lips, taking a long swig. “Am now.”

He was reaching for you immediately, tugging the covers that enclosed you from him.

“I need you baby, my sweet girl. Please, please, please.”

“Need to feel you.”

“Need to feel your skin on mine.”

“Please.”

“Please, baby. I’ll make you feel so fuckin good. I got you, you got me, Remember?”

He sounded half broken, teetering on the edge from the whiskey on his tongue, and the impending thoughts of losing the only person left in his blood family.

You sat up, grasping the covers between your fingers as he tried to tug them from your grasp.

“Joel, what’s wrong? What happened?” You spoke on the edge of caution given his intoxicated state.

“No. don’t wanna talk. Don’t wanna feel anythin ‘cept you.”

“Joel, you’re drunk and clearly upset over something–”

He cut you off. “M’sober enough to know that the only thing I want right now, is you. You gonna deny me that, sweet girl?” He slurred.

You found yourself at a loss for words. Your eyes focused on the bottle clutched his grasp, his knuckles turning white from the tight hold he had on the bottle. For a moment, you were afraid that it would shatter in his palm. He looked at you, his dark brown eyes glazed over, emotion swirling behind his darkened pupils. He brought the rim of the bottle up to his lips, taking another long swig as he stared through you. The look he gave you sent an un-welcomed chill down your spine.

You reached for the bottle, not wanting him to use liquor to cope with whatever it was that he was actively going through. You brought your hand around his wrist as you gently pried his fingers from the tight grasp they had on the bottle. He didn’t move to stop you as you took the bottle from him, placing it down on the nightstand, next to your knife, and far from his reach. You had kept the flower crown that you made him 2 years ago. The flowers were wilted and dried, but the memory remained. Alongside was the polaroid photo of you and Joel in the field of wildflowers. Now, just another distant memory.

“Enough of that, okay? I know the liquor is good. I know it helps, I know it brings you comfort, but you’re not gonna sit here and hide from me, okay? Please, Joel. Tell me what’s going on. Let me help you, please.”

“S’okay. Can just get another bottle. M’not gonna fight you. Love you too much to do somethin like that. Would be hurtin myself in the process, more than I already have.”

You were reaching for his face, gently sliding your warm palms around his cheeks. Your thumbs were lightly stroking the highest points of his cheek bones. He averted his eyes from your gaze then. He didn’t want you to see him like this. Anger started to simmer, bubble, blister in the pit of his stomach. You shouldn’t be taking care of him like this. He should be taking care of you. He was supposed to be the strong one, the tough one, the protector. Especially now. He didn't believe that he deserved your comfort, not now. Not when he was like this, a shell of a man.

“You don’t want me like this, honey? You don’t want me anymore?” He spoke with a low drawl, his words slurring together.

“Joel, don’t start with that. You damn well know that’s not true.”

“Then why can’t you give me what I want? I ain’t askin’ for much. Why can’t you give that to me? Why won’t you let me? You’re breakin’ my fuckin’ heart baby.”

“You’re drunk, Joel. I can fuckin taste the whiskey on your breath from here. I’m not gonna take advantage of you when you're in this state. Do you hear me? You deserve so much fuckin more than that.” You tried to coax him to look at you, dragging your fingers against his jaw, but he wouldn’t budge.

He scoffed under his breath, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “Since when has a little liquor stopped us, huh? Sweet girl, just tell me that you don’t want me anymore. S’okay, I can take it. I can handle it. Gotta leave this shit hole soon anyway.” He admitted.

“Those times were different Joel, and you know it.” You continued to gently hold his face, hoping that somehow you could get through to him. “Please stop saying that I don’t want you. That’s fuckin bull, and if you’re gonna act like a fuckin asshole right now–What’re you talking about leaving?”

“Tommy. I haven’t heard from Tommy in three fuckin weeks. He could be dead for all I know. He could be fuckin’ dead, and I ain’t gonna sit here and not do somethin’ about it. I found out that the radio tower is in Wyoming. I’m gonna trade some shit for a car battery, find a truck outside the QZ, and I'm gonna go find him.”

You let out a deep, slow sigh when Joel finally told you the reason why he was piss drunk and acting this way. Maybe you hadn’t lost him after all. Maybe, just maybe.

“You’re not going alone Joel. You’re not going to Wyoming by your fucking self. Don’t think for a second that i’m going to let you go on a suicide mission like that.”

Joel couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, his head dropping between your hands for a moment before he lifted it slightly to look up at you. “It ain’t your fuckin choice to make ‘darlin.” You’re not gonna stop me, and I ain’t leavin’ my fuckin’ brother out there Gwen. You just don’t fuckin get it, do you?” His tone was harsh, jagged and laced with venom. He placed his hands over your small ones and ripped them from his face as he staggered up from the bedside.

“I never said I was going to stop you Joel. All I said was that you’re not fucking going alone. The fuck do you mean I don’t get it? What don’t I understand?” Your heart clenched in on itself from how he was speaking to you. You felt like a cornered animal, fearful of what was to come next. Teeth bared, snarling, with fear stricken eyes.

“You ain’t have any family left to understand.” He knew he struck a nerve with you just by the way your face immediately fell. You were visibly taken aback. His words sliced through you, cutting your heart up into tiny pieces, piercing your lungs.

“Fuck you. How fucking dare you–” You paused with your hands balling up in fists at your sides. “I may not have any fucking family left Joel, but that doesn’t mean that you get to stand there and tell me that I don’t understand what you’re going through.”

His jaw clenched harshly through the soft, casting moonlight. His own hands were at his sides, balled up in fists. All he wanted was your comfort. He nearly begged for it, but you wouldn’t give in. Why wouldn’t you give in? Let him bury his feelings away, deep between your legs. Your denial etched deep into him, reaching the cavern of his heart. He’d never force you, never would dare harm you.

He never learned how to handle loss well. He found it so easy to slip back into his old patterns. They welcomed him in with tender touches, warm whispers, as darkness enclosed around his heart.

His boots were heavy on the creaky floorboards as he took a few steps towards you. He didn’t speak, and he refused to meet your eyes as he reached around you, snatching the bottle back up from the nightstand. For a brief moment, he thought about giving in. Apologizing for being so mean, so cruel. Allow himself to crumple in your lap, and soak his heavy tears against your chest.

He didn’t want that. He wanted to suffer through his feelings, alone.

“Joel..” Your voice was hesitant, timid, nervous. There were tears already threatening to spill over as you struggled to hold them at bay.

He didn’t say a word. Even as your hand reached out for his wrist, eyes pleading with him. He didn’t give in. He was already walking back to the open doorway, bringing the bottle up to his lips as he took another painful swig.

“Why are you doing this? Baby, why won’t you let me help you? Please…you don’t have to go through this alone. I got you, you got me, always. Remember?”

“M’sleepin on the couch.” He finally responded. “Want to be alone, and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t follow me.”

“Joel…”

“You fuckin deaf or somethin ‘darlin?” I said, leave.me.alone.”

Your emotions boiled over, tears blurring your vision as you reached for your knife on the nightstand. Gripping the familiar handle in your grasp. in one swift movement, you threw your knife at the door, purposely missing his head. The blade embedded into the worn, paint peeled door. The edge of the blade just barely grazed his ear, drawing blood from the thin skin. You had warm tears streaming down your cheekbones, your breaths heavy as Joel looked at you, stunned.

He reached his hand up, brushing his finger tip against his ear, feeling a cool wetness. He brought his finger down, observing the droplets of maroon against his skin. He chuckled, amusement in his tone.

“You missed.”

He yanked your knife from the door.

“It was on purpose Joel. You damn well know how good my aim is.”

He hummed lightly as he twirled the knife with ease. “You picture stickin’ me between the eyes when you threw it?”

“No. I imagined it nailing you in the fucking heart, you asshole.”

“Ouch. That really hurts, sweet girl.” He twirled it once more, looking at your broken, beautiful face. His presence was no longer looming in the doorway. He was gone.

You did not see Joel Miller for the next 4 days. You counted every single fucking one of them.

You waited up for him each night, praying he would come home, he didn’t. Night four you were worried something had happened to him. Your spiraling mind immediately goes to the worst possible outcome; Joel, dead in a ditch somewhere. Second outcome, he found someone else. Someone that wasn’t you. No. There was no fucking way he found someone. He would never. You kept telling yourself that neither outcome was true. It was hours past curfew, the streets were quiet as you packed your bag. Grabbing your spare knife, and pistol. You were wearing one of his flannels as you headed out into the darkness of night to find him.

________________

*one day prior*

Joel was pissed. (surprise, surprise). He was furious with himself, and you. Mostly himself, for being a goddamn fucking asshole. It was easy to continue to drink the pain away, numb all his feelings. Maybe he could consume so much fucking liquor, he could forget what your face looked like.

That was a laughable thought to have. You were unforgettable. Mother fucker, were you so goddamn unforgettable. The worst part? He was reminded of how cruel he was to you each time he looked down at your stupid fucking knife. The handle was well worn, but when he saw your initials carved into the thick wood, he lost it. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

He needed something, someone, to let his anger explode out on.

All it took was two QZ residents to look at him the wrong way. Long enough that he didn’t even think of the consequences of his actions. Fuck the consequences. Fuck FEDRA, fuck the Firefly’s, fuck the infected, and fuck this world.

He followed the two suckers down an alley, hearing them laughing about god knows what. He recognized them. One of the fuckers had given Tess and Bea dirty looks for holding hands in the community center. The other? Had the hots for you. Unashamedly would check you out while you were working alongside Joel. Two excuses for human beings is all he saw as he crept down the alley. His footsteps were light, quiet, unheard.

He had only meant to teach them a lesson. Rough ‘em up a bit. Cuts, bruises, black eye maybe a broken wrist, or two. Then he heard the one guy say your name. Joel Miller was seeing red. These fuckers didn’t stand a chance. Your knife in his grasp as he spilled the filth of their crimson blood along the concrete.

It was a reckless decision, spur of the moment, and fueled by his rage. He would pay the brutal consequences of his actions, shortly after.

The tip of his knife was dripping with the congealed blood of his victims. His breaths, heavy and jagged as he came to his senses.

Too late.

“Fuck.”

Shouting, FEDRA soldiers, the wind whipping in his ears as he ran.

Had he left the crime scene quicker, he probably would have escaped. Not only was he out past curfew, but he had just brutally murdered two QZ residents. Whoops.

It didn’t take long for the FEDRA fucks to catch him, rough him up, and throw him in lockup. His life was spared simply for the fact that he had two of the soldiers wrapped around his finger, all because of a packet of pills.

The amount of liquor in his system numbed his pain receptors. He couldn’t feel shit as he was thrown into a cell.

___________

*present time*

You were incredibly cautious as you headed out onto the dark streets. You knew your decision to go looking for Joel past curfew, was a reckless one. Did you care? Not one fucking bit.

You flattened your back against a crumbling brick wall as two FEDRA soldiers passed, talking amongst each other.

“You know he doesn’t deserve to live, right? You saw what he did, man. There was so much fuckin blood.”

“He’ll get what’s coming for him eventually. If we kill him, who the hell is gonna keep getting us high?”

“Fair point.”

You were silent as their footsteps sounded further and further away. You knew they were talking about Joel; your Joel. You let out a soft breath as you crept from your hiding place. Joel had killed two people; fact. Joel was also alive, and that’s all you could think about now.

You knew exactly where Joel would be. So you waited outside the building, silently devising a plan for how you were going to bust him out of there, before FEDRA could change their mind.

Your silent thoughts were interrupted when you heard a heavy metal door creak open, the sound of a grunt, followed by a thud of a body hitting the concrete. You knew right away that it was Joel.

He was pulling himself up from the concrete, staggering to his feet and by his posture alone, you could tell he was in pain. “Motherfucker.” He grunted to himself.

You made your presence known as you appeared from behind the wall. He didn’t see you at first, but when he heard stray rocks crunching beneath boots, he was on high alert.

“Joel.”

He whipped around, nearly giving himself whiplash from the fast movement. Your voice was all too distinguishable.

“What in god’s fucking name are you doin’ out here?!” He was already walking towards you, his eyes locked on yours.

“Are you fuckin’ insane ‘darlin? Or are you just fuckin’ stupid?” He continued, waiting for you to flinch from his tone, or take a step back. You did neither.

“You tryin’ to get your ass thrown in lockup too?! Fuckin’ answer me Gwen!”

He was close enough now that you could see his split upper lip, ugly purple and blue bruising along his beautiful jaw, and his black eye. In a fury, you had grabbed his face in your palms gently, searching his eyes.

“Who the fuck did this to you?”

He was taken aback by your gentle touch, he expected you to be rough on him from the way he treated you, but you were the complete fucking opposite.

“Who fucking did this to you Joel?!” You harshly whispered.

He chuckled as he looked into your eyes, “FEDRA. Got thrown in lockup, obviously. Now answer me. What the fuck are you–”

You cut him off, ignoring his question. You knew the answer as to why he was thrown in lockup. You wanted to hear it from his own mouth, in his words.

“What the fuck did you do to get thrown in lockup?” You demanded.

He sneered at you. His face hurt from the movement but he didn’t care.

“Wouldn’t you like to know ‘darlin.”

You let go of his face and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, harshly yanking it.

“Yeah, cowboy. I would fuckin like to know.”

He leaned in, his breath hot on your face as he spoke, “killed a couple of fuckers with your knife. Felt fuckin good. Thought of you as their blood spilled out on the fuckin’ concrete. Thought of you the whole time baby.” He spat.

You didn’t even skip a fucking beat from his confession. You already knew the truth after all, and there was no reason for you to be shocked.

“Yeah? You thought of me? Did they deserve it?”

“Didn’t like the way they were lookin’ at me. Wanted to teach ‘em a lesson, and I got carried away. One of ‘em gave Beatrix a dirty look for holdin’ Tess’s hand a while back. The other? He had the hots for you. Always lookin’ at you, checkin’ you out. They both deserved it.”

“Y’know you can’t just go and kill people cause they looked at you the wrong way Joel.”

“I know, but I'd be lyin’ to your face if I told ya it didn’t feel good. They were scumbags, and they had it ‘comin.”

“Did you really have to go and kill them with my knife though?” You asked, your hands were still gripping the collar of his shirt tightly.

“Considerin’ you threw it at my fuckin’ head, yeah. Felt poetic.”

You let out a sigh, loosening your grip on him slightly, your anger was still simmering.

“You gonna’ answer my question now? Gonna’ tell me why in the hell you’re out here past fuckin’ curfew nonetheless?”

“You haven’t come home in 4 fuckin days Joel. I was worried that something had happened. That you were fucking dead in a goddamn ditch somewhere. I’m perfectly aware of the consequences of being out past curfew, Joel. I don’t care about the consequences. I just had to make sure that you were okay.”

He was in disbelief. His brows were furrowed in as you explained yourself.

“What’re you doin’ givin’ a fuck about me after the way I treated you, sweet girl. What is fuckin’ wrong with you? You shoulda’ been wishin’, prayin’ that I was dead.”

You laughed, your voice cracking slightly because how could this man be so fucking stupid?

“What makes you think that I wouldn’t care? You think that I can just erase you that easily, Joel? You think for a second that I wouldn’t fucking come looking for you?”

He opened his mouth to speak, no words were formed, he looked like a fucking blubbering fish.

“Save it. I don’t want to hear you say some bullshit about how I deserve better. I’m too good for you, blah blah blah. Fucking swallow those words right now Joel.”

He clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together.

“Yes ma'am.” He whispered.

You wasted no time grabbing his hand, taking him back home, despite his protests.

The shower started shortly after you arrived home. Your movements were slow, gentle, careful as you removed his shirt from the hem. You found new scars blooming on his beautiful skin. Despite the fact that you were emotionally hurt by this man, you refused to let him suffer alone. You pressed a light kiss to his soft tummy, just above the navel.

“Baby Doll, what’re you–”

“Shuddup Joel.”

You tossed his shirt to the side before you undid his belt buckle, listening to the clanking of metal as you carefully shimmied his jeans down his legs with his boxers. You kept your gaze locked on his eyes as you discarded his clothes. You ignored the feeling of his hands along your waist, his own touch was delicate, comforting. You pushed his hands off of you as you gestured to the shower.

“Get in.”

“Gwen, please–”

“Get in the fucking shower Joel.”

He let out a pained sigh, bringing his hands down to his sides as he stepped under the cold stream of water. It felt like knives and needles stabbing into his back all at once.

You were already turning on your heel, attempting to leave till his hand reached out, wrapping around your wrist as he pulled you under the stream with him.

“Joel what the fuck are you doing–”

“Please. Please, darlin’ don’t go. Please, I'm sorry.” He begged, his tone rasping.

Your clothes were already being soaked through as he pulled you into his chest, holding you firmly against him.

“Please don’t leave me.”

You let out a sigh, slowly turning around in his arms so you were facing him.

“Apologies are not going to fix this Joel.”

“I know honey, I know. I promise I will make it up to you.”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you reached around him and grabbed what was left of the bar of soap. You gently wiped away the dirt, dried blood, and filth from his skin. You let him hold you, but you refused to fully give in. He was smart enough, respectful enough, to not try anything funny.

_________________

The nightmares started shortly after you brought Joel back home. Each night they got worse and it killed you inside to see him suffer like this. You were torn up. Joel had hurt you, you hurt him and it was beginning to feel like a vicious, endless cycle.

On this particular night, it was storming. The wind howled as the heavy rain pelted against the windows. Flashes of bright, white lighting struck against the black sky, and rumbles of thunder followed shortly after. You could hear Joel mumbling in his sleep, his back facing you. He mumbled Sarah’s name, Tommy. His tone was strained, pained. “You’re okay. Please, you’re okay. Move your hand, baby.” “Tommy, help me!” He was twitching under the covers, his body was trembling, there was cold sweat dripping down his bare back, chest, and forehead.

You wanted to pretend that you couldn’t hear his mumbles, his pained cries for his dead daughter and assumably alive brother. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block him out entirely, but you couldn’t. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop caring about this man.

You rolled over so you were facing his back and placed your hand between his shoulder blades. Your fingers splayed across his sweat soaked skin.

“Joel. Baby, wake up.” You whispered.

You received no response, even as you gently shook him.

“Joel. wake up, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up baby, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.”

You shook him once more, a little firmer this time and he suddenly shot up from under the covers. His eyes were wide, frantic as he looked around. His wild gaze finally landed on you. His chest was rising and falling harshly, his nostrils flared and he looked like he was in a daze.

“Joel. Hey, honey. It’s okay. You’re okay, you’re safe.”

He was reaching for you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he yanked you to his chest, pulling you into his lap.

Your thighs instinctively wrapped around his hips as you brought your hands up to his face, gently holding his cheeks in your warm palms, while his sweaty forehead rested against yours.

“Sarah..she–she. My baby girl–”

“I know baby..I'm sorry.” You gently stroked your thumbs against his cheekbones as his tears began to freely fall, his body still trembling under your gentle grasp.

“Tommy he–he.”

“He’s alive Joel. I promise you, he’s alive.”

“We don’t know. We–we don’t. He’s all I have left of my family. He’s the only one left.”

“I know he is Joel. I know, and I understand. You’re safe, and you don’t need to go through this alone. Okay? I know how you feel right now baby. I felt the same things you are feeling right now, after they died.”

He pulled back slightly, his brows furrowed in as he looked at you.

“Tell me how they died, please. I-I–want to know.”

“I had to kill them, Joel; My parents. It was just the three of us at one point. I was twenty. Came home one day, everything seemed normal. We were sitting around the dinner table and they were..something was off. They had this..this dead look in their eyes. They weren’t talking and then, I just knew. I fucking knew they were infected. I had no time to mourn Joel. They lunged at me and I took my knife, and killed them. Their only child, their only daughter, killed them. I left Michigan after that. Left the ranch, left my home, and never returned.”

Joel was at a loss for words. He could not even begin to fathom what you had gone through. He felt entirely guilty for saying that you couldn’t understand what he was going through. You knew his pain all too well. He held you as close as he physically could. His grip around your waist was firm, yet gentle. God, he felt terrible.

“Honey, baby, I'm so sorry..I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.”

“Joel, please do not feel sorry for me. Okay? I did what I had to do to survive. It was either me, or them. I was left with no other choice.”

“I don’t care, my sweet girl. You should have never had to go through that.”

“I endured it, Joel. I mourned, I moved on. Ran right into you. The point is, you shouldn’t feel alone. You don’t have to be, okay? Please don’t push me away. I know how easy it is to dig yourself into a hole, let the walls cave in. I know exactly what you’re feeling, and I am right here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“We have to do somethin’ I can’t just leave him out there Gwen.”

“I know. That’s why you and I are going to go look for Tommy, together. We’re gonna get that car battery, leave the QZ, and go to Wyoming. I’ll go anywhere with you. I got you, you got me, always.”

He took a deep breath, while he allowed your words, and the significance they held, wash over him.

He gave you a small nod, stroking his thumbs along the soft skin of your lower back.

“You got me, I got you, always.”

It was true, you’d follow Joel Miller, your fellow, your guy, anywhere.

Chapter 14:

[harryleatherfit]

Cook Out 🪵

Frankie Morales Oneshot x F!Reader || 6.5K

you met Frankie at the restaurant you owned in town, always loved seeing the man that would eat made you feel good. eventually he got deployed- and things changed. now you’re living together, hosting a cook out for Frankie and his ex-marine friends, but eventually Benny says something that doesn’t go past your head.

warnings: PTSD, mentions of drug use, mentions of NA, mentions of war, mentions of deployment, mentions of body image/weight gain, (men being men), oral (f receiving), dildo use, squirting, over stimulation, clit slapping (if you squint), dick riding, nipple play, FLUFF, no use of a condom (pls like PLS use a condom, no babies too soon)

lmk if i’ve missed any THXX

ONE SHOT PLAYLIST

Roses- George Taylor

D. D- The Weeknd

Work Song- Hozier

Last year, you and Frankie hosted a cookout at your new house. It was an evening for all the ex guys in the marines to relax and share old memories together. Seeing Frankie happy was all you ever wanted, it meant the world to you, and this year that tradition continued.

You’ve been through thick and thin with him, always standing by his side after he got out the military, but in reality you needed each other both equally.

You had met him two months after opening your restaurant, just seeing each other around town. You’ve been together for 3 years now, you both didn’t feel a need to rush anything. You’ve both been married before and had pasts that didn’t need explaining, so time spent together now felt like you were making up years of dread.

You were so euphorically happy with Frankie, you hadn’t felt this free and safe in years. He brought life to you. After dredging through college, forcing yourself to seek a doctorate degree in culinary, you thought you loved it. It was easy to be with Rick through university and culinary school, but then things changed. Opening a restaurant in your busy town brought in business, but being the head chef brought a world of misery. You weren’t prepared to be in that headspace, and Rick left you for it. But out of it you met Frankie.

He would come in, always asking to see you, always asking for the person that made his food. And every single time it was you. It felt so fresh to be sought out after Rick. He kept you from the world, you could never do anything for yourself. You always had to explain yourself, but Frankie was new, and he made your heart jumpstart. You loved to see him come in every week, and soon enough it came to every day. You noticed how proud he was to be with his friends eating out, he was always the responsible one out of all of them. And more nights he came in alone, seeking you. Having meals togethers, having a few drinks together, him staying late and closing the restaurant with you.

Things lead to another, and you finally kissed him, you crossed a line that you thought you sealed off forever. You were still working horrible late nights, and he was still in the depths of the marines. The time apart killed you, but for him, he would do everything in his power not to lose you. You helped him stay clean. You helped him stay away from the one thing that if he touched, he would relapse. You became his drug. And he understood how bad it was to be in a relationship when you were trying to get sober, but you were good. And you made him good. You barely smoked, you had vowed to never touch a drug stronger than weed, and you took care of Frankie. You made sure his emotional and physical state was always 100% above all.

But of course, within months of seeing you, he was deployed. When he was off at night, across the world from you, he would call you during your day, just to hear that sweet voice of yours. Even with things so new with you both, you were his girl.

He hated the military, he hated what it did to him, to his friends, how it fucked with his head. He could never live properly again, and when things got really bad where he was, he confided into coke. It was on the downlow, buying it off of someone in this small village, he didn’t mean for it to turn into something large, but when he couldn’t talk to you, or video chat with you, it killed him. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He wanted to be home with you, he wanted to be in bed with you. The coke let him see you at night, he sniffed so many lines that he thought he heard your laugh with the howls of the night. The stars that you both saw in the sky would turn into your eyes, and they would lull his high brain to sleep. It was a daily cycle, until he got caught.

He was sent home, and you didn’t find out he was home until weeks after you saw his car in his driveway. You were upset with him, you were confused as to why he didn’t want to come see you. You were afraid you did something wrong, and after he got back this was his final hurrah.

Frankie being Frankie, he came into the restaurant almost black out drunk before you were closing, you forgot you gave him a key. He was slurring his words, but he was still always gentle with you.

You sat him in a chair, he was watching you clean your utensils and stock for the night. Make him stay put so you can focus without strangling him. Sit still, you drunk boy.

“I was dishon’rallbly discharged.” He laughs, but your jaw drops.

“B’fore I met you, I was in some bad shit darlin. I was usin, usin bad drugs to keep the military from fuckin me up.”

This immediately made you stop in your tracks, you made eye contact with him and set everything you were washing down. Drugs didn’t scare you, but still a serious topic. He was finally opening up to you and that scared him, realizing he was pushing you away.

“This fuckin deployment,” He hangs his head low, “Got dark, real quick.”

“And b’fore you sweetheart, I thought the meetings after my last deployment really helped, I thought I’d n’ver use again. But I was fuckin wrong.” He whimpers. You’ve never seen a man open up to you like this before.

“NA helped, I was sober for so long, n’meetin you made me never think ‘bout coke again.” He closed his eyes.

“But this trip, I used again.”

You go to him, dropping to your knees and weaving your hands with his.

“It made me see you at night when I was hearin bombs go off. I could hear that voice of yours. I never thought PTSD could get this bad.” His voice falters, all he could imagine at night was laying next to your warm body, entangled and never able to get out of bed.

“Oh Frankie.” You tear up, never realizing what the military could really do to someone.

“N’ one day I was caught, they took my flying license away, n’d I’m under suspension.” A tear slips down his face. “I didn't want to come home and tell you, but now I am. I’m a fuckin loser and you desreve better than me.”

“Frankie, please don’t say that.” You’re crying now, sitting on his lap, head in your arms, “I didn’t know how bad it was for you.”

Then from there on out, Frankie went to his trials, went to NA again. He was so serious about getting better. He got his license back after months of going to meetings, passing drug tests. You took this period to never smoke either. You both were clean from everything and you were helping him the most you could with working in the restaurant.

After a year, you told him you wanted to quit the restaurant, you were done being away from him. He was done with the military, only doing small construction jobs here and there with Benny and Pope.

“Hon, you can’t quit the restaurant, you could hire a chef, and co-own it maybe, but that spot will always be yours.” He always said that, always your spot. So that’s what you did. The restaurant was better than ever for the past couple years, after moving in with each other you both were more financially, emotionally, and physically stable than ever.

This year's cookout was going to be the best yet, civilian life looked good on all the guys, but Frankie had this pep in his step. He always told you he could've never imagined his life to be this way. Because of you, he wanted to live.

“Hey babe, the guys are gonna be here,” He checks his watch, “In about 30?, I'm gonna take a shower while you finish settin up.”

“Sounds good my love.” You walk to him at the doorway, “Tonight’s going to be so much fun. Family.” You smile, everyone here tonight is all family, all people that have taken care of you in Frankie.

“Family.” He kisses you and heads upstairs.

You had to finish setting up the tables outside, the lights, and dicing tomatoes for a cucumber, tomato and feta salad. Tom’s favorite.

Some days when the guys would come over, you could overhear them asking Frankie why he hadn't proposed yet, this never passed your mind, there was no rush.

You could imagine the long white dress, his tux, the flowers, possibly at the beach with trees around you. Or completely in the woods with fairy lights. Only the best people around you. Your younger sister giving a pep talk to Frankie, his family crushing you with hugs.

You adored his mom and dad, their marriage lasting for over 40 years. Still so in love and would never leave each other.

You never understood how people could keep their marriage so long, never defying each other, no cheating, never hiding anything behind each other's back.

In reality, not every relationship will be perfect, but you seriously thought that Frankie is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Sometimes, if you overheard them asking Frankie, he would always respond with, “It’s too soon,” or “It might scare her away,” “I don’t think she wants marriage again.”

You never brought it up to him, because marriage is a soul bonding title and you didn't want him to know you’ve overheard him. It was cliche this day in age, but that is what ties humans together forever.

You would bring it up again someday, maybe when you both were tired and talking to an abyss at night before dozing off to sleep, or maybe at a nice restaurant when it’s about to close and you’re talking about the meaning of life again.

No topic could ever be closed off with him.

You finish the decorations and food, going upstairs to change into a summer sundress. It was way too hot to stay in sweats for the night, you didn’t need to look nice for anyone tonight but a little riot for Frankie would always do the trick. You slip on your meshy light blue dress and you pass the master bathroom.

You could hear Frankie drying off, sniffing his summer cologne, always so fresh on him. The door was slightly cracked, you caught a glimpse of him in the mirror. His towel hung so low on his body and he was looking down at his phone. You studied him, how tall he was, how he crossed his legs, how his figure always fucking turned you on. His damp hair dripping, drying into small curls under his ears.

“See something you like, naughty girl?” He looks at you through the mirror.

Shit.

You shake your head, “Oh nothing, sorry Frankie.” You didn’t want to intrude on his time.

He smiles, setting his phone down, egging you on through the mirror, “Don’t be sorry princessa, come in.” He drops his towel, keeping eye contact with you. You could feel the steam of the room seep through the house, not daring to look below his waist.

“I can’t, you know we can't, it's too close to all of them coming.”

“Your loss my love.” He was hard. Ready to take you against the counter, but you had guests to serve. You couldn’t have the guys waiting for you downstairs, listening while Frankie fucks you silly, but the idea doesn’t pass your head for a second. You watch him get dressed and you feel like you’re drooling all over the floor.

“The door rang honey, better keep those eyes to yourself tonight.” His voice lulls you away.

You rush down the stairs, opening the door to Tom and Benny.

“Ahhhhh darlin we’ve been dyin to see you again!” Tom crashes you with a hug, Benny joining, “I brought some wine for later.” Benny says, “Hon, how's the restaurant?”

“It’s good, it’s always so busy now, but I spend my time with that old man now.”

Frankie walks down the stairs hugging the guys and greeting them. Santi and Will come in with more guys you’ve met from over the years. You set out the appetizers, got the bluetooth speaker and filled the cooler with some beers. The backyard was starting to get pretty packed, but you had your own little corner tucked away on a hammock, you were in the middle of a really good sci-fi book, good enough to pass the time before these old farts wanted burgers.

You were happy to see Frankie talking to all his friends, filling each other in over the past year, new girlfriends, how everyone's kids were.

When guys would ask about you, in your peripheral you could see Frankie would always look towards you. Always making sure you were safe. The sun felt so good on your skin, laying back in the hammock, your hair free, basking in the older rock music. Enclosing on the clinks of beer bottles, the hint of cigarette smoke. You loved summer.

“Hey babe, I can fire up the grill but the guys are hungry.” You open your eyes and see the most beautiful man in the world, Frankies face covering the sun for you, tiny sweat droplets formulating under his chin. He got so tan during the summer, and he slipped on linen pants with a white tank top.

“Ok I’ll get the bread.” He helps you get out of your spot without falling, walking through the grass to avoid scorching pavement, all the guys were looking at you. You could hear Santi yelling, “Fish, how'd you get a woman like her?” And the rest of the guys cheered. Frankie shook his head, smiling and holding hands with you.

You get the orders of all the guys, firing up the grill and cooking them all, Frankie getting up to help you when it got too hot for you. Always a team, but he knew his place in the kitchen, you were the chef but he never failed to help you.

You finished all the burgers, you cleaned up and finally got to sit down and eat yours, small talk amongst the guys, talking about a new show on Max. You felt Frankie leave for a second and come back with more food.

“Damn Fish, you’re a beast these days.” Benny pokes him.

“The military had a good way of keepin me in shape I guess.” You can see the defeat in his eyes, not knowing what to say.

“I can see that, you’re fluffin up big guy. Better stay thin for your goddess over there.” Frankie gets up with Benny and they fool around, as always.

“Hey let the man eat, he’s been waitin to have been fed this well, hell we all have been.” Tom chimes.

Benny and Fish settle down, Frankie sitting down next to you again, “What can I say, I’m with the best cook I’ve ever met, I was bound to fatten up at some point. Womens keepin me hostage.” He holds you closer to him.

“I am not, liar.” You snicker, “I didn’t know my food was that good Mr. Morales. To keep you held hostage.” You kiss him, not caring if the guys see, “And no matter what you look like, I’ll always love you for you Frankie.”

“See that’s real love you guys, you all can fuck off.” Benny wails.

You held Frankie tight for the rest of the night, you wanted to talk to him after everyone left, you didn't want Bennys comments to linger in Frankies brain for too long. Frankies body was unique to himself, and no matter fucking what, no matter his weight, no matter if he was bloated, no matter if he had water retention or his face was puffy, why would you fucking care? It took you so long to be happy with your body, you didn’t care about what you looked like anymore.

Of course you upkept your hygiene and personal care, but a fucking number for your body didn’t matter anymore, no human will look the same so why the hell should that contribute to your happiness?

You were sitting upright white Frankie laid back into your lap, playing around with his curls, and you could see a little bit of his soft stomach peeking through under his shirt, but if you could in front of all these guys and pounce the living hell out of him you would.

His skin against the color of his clothes, the arms intertwined with yours, his veins bulging for air.

“Anyone wanna set off some fireworks for this lovely night? I got some in the back of my truck.” Tom surveys.

For a split second you can see the panic in Frankies face, you feel his heartbeat pick up and then you can see the face on all of the guys.

Frankies breath picked up and you looked down to him, giving a minor nod to no, help me get out of this.

“Sorry Tom, our HOA said no fireworks in the streets with such high foliage, I have some sparklers in the house?”

“Ah no worries sweet thing, it was worth a shot, but next time we're all together we should go to an open field and set them off.” The guys agree and you soak in that Frankie is already better.

You couldn’t imagine what the sight and sound fireworks would have done to Frankie.

His panic at just hearing the word set you off, and you couldn’t have let him go through that, and the other worried guys too.

Military just rubs off differently on some people.

“Alright well we all should get out of your guys hair, we’ve been here for quite some time.” Will gets up, grabbing his keys, “Thank you sweetheart for the amazing food as always.”

“Thank you for the salad!” Tom yells.

“Thank you man, for always keepin up with us.” Santi hugs Fish, then you.

“Wouldn’t change it for the world, love you guys. Text me about that house and the details so I can get the right tools.”

“Alright man, be safe, love you guys.”

Frankie closes the door and it’s just you guys now. The sun is low and the clouds are orange, the lighting in the living room peaceful. The backyard needed to be cleaned but both of you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You walk closer to him, hugging against the door. Dying to share his breath.

“Did you have fun?” You ask.

“The most fun in the world, but you wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you were there,” He grabs your face, he kisses you deeply and lingers, “Because all these memories would make me go crazy if you weren’t there.”

“You’d be able to make it without me hotstuff, I promise you would.” You peer into his eyes, inviting him in for more.

“No, I wouldn’t be anyone without you, I wouldn’t be the man I am without you, smart girl. You’re the one that I owe my life to.”

Feverishly you crash your lips to his, never ever able to stop. How could you stop with him? You knew each other's limits, you knew each other's sensitive topics, you knew about each other's lives. You were it for each other, that was final. And you were so fucking happy.

“Take me upstairs Frankie, please.”

He cups your legs, so strong and his body so capable to lift you. You were so happy you almost cried. He meant the entire world to you, and you couldn’t express in words how much he means to you.

“Should we clean up first? All the sweat and outside smell?” He asks, stumbling up the stairs.

“Is that your way of asking me to get naked, Frankie Morales?”

He mutters shyly, “I’d suppose so, pretty girl.”

You agree with a kiss, him closing the door to the bathroom to keep the steam in, setting you down and turning the faucet on. He stands up and turns behind you, moving your hands away from your zipper. His fingers follow the seam of your dress, sliding it down to your feet and helping you step out. He holds his hands out for you to step without falling, heart beating faster every second.

You’ve had sex before but this was irrevocably different.

You turn and find the bottom of his shirt, lifting it above his head, then admiring his body. His skin tone against yours. The hair dipping down into his pants. His shoulders so big you could fall asleep on them.

His soft body matches yours in indescribable ways. Tonight you were going to make love to his body, his heart, his soul. He is your home.

You dip your thumbs into his beige billowy pants, bringing them down to his feet, holding your hands out for him. Leaving you guys in your underwear. Staring at each other. At the same time, you undress yourselves, completely bare in front of the other, vulnerable.

He draws in his breath, “You're beautiful baby, my girl.” His hands linger on your hips, looking you up and down, goosebump following where his thick fingers graze. The hair on your mound brushing against his stomach. He steps into the tub, bringing you with him. The tub was big enough for the both of you to have your own sides. It was a beautiful quartz porcelain, perfect for tonight, perfect for forever. You settled against each other, decompressing in the water, falling in beat with each other's breathing.

“Thank you, about the fireworks thing today darlin. He brought it up and I froze and I couldn’t even speak.” He pauses, “It was like I could hear it all in my head again, and I couldn’t feel you.”

You snuggle into the crook of his neck, “Frankie, I will try to protect you with all my heart, my love. I will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe.” You graze your lips along the ridges of his neck. He took some shampoo and started to rub it into your hair, not quite touching where you wanted just yet. He was goofing around messing with your hair, rubbing circles on your shoulders, lathering leave-in conditioner for the both of you.

He grabbed the soap bar and started to rub it all over, your thighs, your boobs, your inner thighs, your hips, stomach. Bringing water up to wash the bubbles away.

His gentility always reminded you how much he needed this. He needs to take a step out of reality and focus on himself, not the standards of society. He was still healing.

Knowing his body was behind yours, his arms cupping your stomach, his legs outside yours. The heat of the water was making his body more soft, you were melting into him. You couldn’t deny the growth you felt near your ass.

“Someone’s excited.” You make eye contact with him.

“M’sorry, you feel so good, this feels so good. It’s really needed sweetheart.” He groans.

You tremble against his bulge, moaning for his body. He rests his hands under your boobs, hitching them to your nipples. Pulling at them, trickling water over them to pull at your peaks.

You hiss, “Try that again and we won’t be in here for much longer.”

“Mi amour, we’ll be fucking everywhere in this house for the entire night.”

“You think you’ll get to fuck me for that long? You think you can last the whole night, old man?”

Instantly he picks you up in the water, letting it drip to the bottom. He grabs a towel with his teeth, and you watch the flexing of his arms hold your body against his chest. He wraps it around you, widening the door to your bedroom.

He drops you on the bed. You could hear him rummaging around in your night stand for something, not caring what it was. Falling to his knees on the floor, kissing up to your thighs, massaging the back of your legs, bending them over his back, spreading you open for him. You weren’t shy to be open in front of him, it was natural at this point. The heat inside your entrance was causing you to drip instantaneously. Inviting him in for more.

He took one long stript to your sopping pussy, bracing yourself on the impact of his tongue. You were hungry, you needed him inside you now.

“Gonna be the death of me, yeah princesa? You were waitin for this all day huh? Watching me in the mirror, wearing that dress. You know that dress makes me fuck you silly.”

You can already feel yourself clamping around nothing, practically edging you with his words.

“What? Should’ve had my brains fucked earlier, or now?” You caution.

“Little tiger doesn’t know what she’s asking.” He tuts, you could feel the heat of his breath on your lips, begging for him to come inside, “If you take your eyes off me while I eat my pussy for dessert, you get to go sleep in this soft fluffy bed, and I’ll sleep in the living room, and then no cuming tonight.” He brushes his nose on your mound, unraveling you by the second.

“How can that possibly be an agreement?” You whine.

“It just is.” He spits on your clit, watching it slip down to your glistening entrance.

He encloses on your nub, nipping on it like fucking maniac. You immediately threw your hands to his head, grabbing his hair for support.

“Make it hurt.” He growls, “Use me.”

You yell louder than you could bare, so happy you bought a singular home and not an apartment. His tongue breached your entrance, falling in and out at the speed of light. When the fuck did he learn to do that?

“More, give me more Frankie, faster- it feels- so so good.” You were chanting his name as a prayer, you’d go to hell if that meant you could feel his tongue inside you forever.

He drops his hand under the bed, letting go of your legs, grabbing something. You hear a buzz start and your heart drops.

“You like that sound babygirl? Pussy so wet for me, love watching you twitch.” Your body fills with waves, anticipating his touch and the toy he grabbed, “Keep those legs open for me, yeah. Just like that, my good pretty girl.”

When you started dating, you both talked about sex, how you liked it. He tested your limits with you, he watched your body fill to its extent, he loved finding this different world with you. Mixing sex and love together, made you feel things you thought was never true. You were scared he wouldn’t like a woman that craved sex this passionately, but he matched your speed. He understood you on a micro length. Sex with love meant everything to him, and you never had to explain that. He always took care of you, every action he made benefitted the both of you.

Eventually he started using toys, using his old military ropes with you, you even bought him a cock ring, just to torture him some longer.

Now you see your favorite in his hands, a vibrating dildo that makes you feel full to the brim.

“My tongue on your clit, and this inside you, don’t think my pretty girls gonna last too long,” He mutters, “Gonna stretch you wide baby, but it’s gonna feel so good.”

He rubs the toy along your entrance, the vibration making your back arch.

“Please Frankie- feels so good- mhm- put it in- ngh-please.”

He shoves it in, your walls accommodating the size of the toy. You mewl into the air, tugging on his hair harder than ever. He goes back to sucking your clit, twisting the toy into you. Moaning into you. His mustache scruffs against your skin, his nose brushing against your body. You couldn’t control your body. You couldn’t regulate the screams falling out of your throat.

He pushed his free arm on top of your stomach, holding you still. Slowly moving his hand to your boobs. Grabbing them, pinching them with his power. Keeping you open for him.

He upped the setting a few times, you pulsated around the toy, your stomach shaking. Sweat rolling down your face.

“Look at that gorgeous, about to cum around this toy. Greedy fuckin pussy. My greedy fuckin girl’s gonna cum so quick.” You brace your hands, trying hard not to shut your eyes. Your body fluttering against the bed. He pushes into you faster, his hand peeling you out.

“Frankie- I’m gonna cum- please keep going- so good- keep going.”

“That’s it, mi coño. Let me see it.”

A button detonates inside you, the size of the dildo suddenly becoming too much. The sound of your gushing pussy filling your ears. Your cunt pushes the toy out, unfathomably squelching for relief. Your muscles contract after being stimulated far beyond reach. He slaps your clit, watching you flinch from the overstimulation.

He turns off the toy, putting the tip in his mouth, watching him taste you. He moans around the item, your brain being fucked from the sight of it.

“Mhm, such a good girl. Keepin your eyes on me while I fuck you silly. Given me what I want. Think you deserve my cock now?”

You finally close your eyes, catching your breath, recovering from your earth-shattering orgasm.

“Maybe I’m the one that can’t last all night.” You laugh, “Felt so good, you don’t even know Frankie, the vibration near that spot inside me-”

“Oh I bet sweet thing, pussy just fuckin loves to be fucked huh? I bet my cock can finish the job.” He rests his head on your knees, watching you with his eyes. Following your bodies every move.

“Come up here with me, come on big guy.”

He jumps from the floor, laying against the wall of pillows. Coming from the end of the bed, you spring to his lap, straddling him. Faintly kissing him, kissing his collar bone, his pecs, soaking every aspect of him into your body.

“Your perfect Frankie, every inch crafted for me.” You whisper.

He holds your face, “Really? Even if I’m not all that you make it out to be.”

“Hey baby, why would you say that?” You follow the length of his hair, pushing it out of his face.

“I’m not as muscular as I once was, I’m not the physical person that you fell in love with.”

“Frankie, don’t say that.” You back away from him, forwarding space between you both, “Look at me,” You show his hands to your hips, “We’re human, I have love handles, I have hair on my body, I have a pouch all over my stomach. I have cellulite everywhere on my body. You think this is hot?”

“It’s different honey.” He shakes his head.

“It’s not Frankie,” You graze your hands over his stomach, “I’m so grateful I get to feed you and keep you nourished. Seeing your body grow after the military, made me the happiest girl in the world. This is your body, your temple. We must take care of it. That’s where it started, right? You ate in my restaurant and we fell in love. I love your belly, I love your fuckin strong arms, I love how you can pick me up without hesitation,” You moan, “I love how you melt into my body, so soft.”You lick your lips, “Earlier I could see a little bit poking out of your shirt and I wanted to jump your bones right there. Your body, Frankie, drives me fucking insane. You can see for yourself.” He looked down at your cunt, practically dripping all over his legs, you couldn’t help it.

He laughs, “I’m just an old man with the prettiest girl in the world.”

“Then that makes me the luckiest girl in the world. No matter what you look like, you’re always my love, it’ll be my dying wish to make you feel comfortable in this perfect body. You’re my home.” You felt slight relief, you didn’t want to ruin the moment but it was all becoming too much for you. “I love you Frankie, I love you more than life.” The tears almost break your eyes, “And I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life.”

He kisses you, deeply, “My perfect girl, always my perfect girl. M’gonna spend the rest of my life lovin you til we're bones in the ground.”

You grind against him, feeling him inside and out.

“My big guy, always keepin me full and stuffed.” You groan against him.

“You like bigger guys baby? You like my cock kissing your pussy? Your cervix feeling my cock cumming inside?”

“Fuck me already Frankie, please.”

He finds your entrance, shoving his cock inside. You were wet, but his cock was much bigger than the dildo. He was stretching you to the brim, falling your hands behind your back, riding him like it was your job.

You didn't care about wearing a condom anymore with him, nothing mattered anymore. You only wanted him inside you bare.

Your head was filled with stars so bright in your mind you could only focus on the feeling of his precum leaking inside you.

“It’s sad sometimes Frankie,” You groan, “I bet most of those guys today don’t get to fuck like you do. Bet they don’t get to feel a pussy as good as mine.” You continue to ride him, bracing your head to his. Sweat dripped from you both, “No baby, they don’t. They don’t get to have my girl. All mine.” You move your feet to his sides, supporting your body up. Your glutes were on fire from squaring your hips around his dick. The slap of your skin together firing inside your head.

“They’re all so skinny, I can't imagine what sex is with one of them.” You felt him twitch in the pit of your stomach. He takes control and starts to fuck up into you. Hovering over his dick to embrace the force. You rolled your eyes, gasping for air.

“You like that, a big fuckin guy, with a big cock to fuck you good? Not happy with a skinny guy and a skinny cock?” He growls. The sensation powerful enough to short circuit your brain. His stomach slapping against your mound, friction causing you to squirm.

“My fucking girl gettin split open on my cock, draining me dry. Filthy fuckin girl.”

You mewled with his words. His dick feels like a joystick inside you. The further you slid down him, the depths he reached inside you made you go feral.

The scene of you bent over his dick, his lower body fucking deeper into you by the second.

He sits up against the headboard, intertwining your arms behind your back. You had no way to touch him, no where to brace your weight. You were his fuck doll.

You watched where he kept meeting you, slipping in and out, never stopping.

“Don’t stop- don’t stop- keep going- Frankie it’s so good- big perfect cock,” You look disheveled, hair everywhere, eyes faded, skin rosy, “Pound my fuckin pussy-use me-Frankie ngh bruise me. Come inside me. Fill me-leave every- ounce inside me.” You cry.

He grunts, his cock torments your walls. You feel spurts hit the back of your pussy, filling you. He slides into you, heaven falling onto earth. He doesn't stop forcing himself inside you, burrowing his cum inside you. You see the semi-clear liquid ooze past his shaft, smearing onto his stomach.

“Yeah you like that? Love fuckin watchin my cum slip outside.” He growls, he slips his head back inside you, pulling you down onto him. His cum inside you made you feel warm, the imagine of having his kids flash through your head. Fuck they’d be cute.

“ I want every drop inside you on my dick pretty girl, you think you can do that? You think you can squirt all of over my fuckin stomach?”

Your body shakes, shaking your head yes. Doing as he says like his good fucking girl.

“Your turn princesa, show me what your pussy can do, soak my fuckin cock.”

You couldn’t understand how he just kept on going. You hadn’t even cum on his dick yet and you were tired.

He starts pounding inside you, his stamina so strong, so sure you were gonna pour over him. You couldn’t think, the words were exasperated from you. The only thought of how much you loved his cock. How good his body makes you feel.

“Frankie- I cant hold it in much longer, please let me cum, please- please- I love your fucking cock.” You squeal. Your jaw going slack.

“Pussy so open for me naughty girl. Do it, spray me with your squirt, fuckk.”

You feel galaxies explode inside your head, suddenly interstellar not seeming like a bad place to go. They way he would speak to you, speak while fucking you crazy. Your orgasm intoxicates your brain, overtaking your body. He doesn’t stop shoving inside of you, the only sound in the room being your breath and your pussy swallowing his cock.

You look each other in the eyes, recognizing that feeling of your lower body swelling with his dick inside you. His eyes were eating you alive, you couldn’t take how powerful his body was, how terrifying your connection was with each other right now.

You squeeze your eyes shut, letting the stream tangle past his cock. You squeeze around him, suffocating his dick. You see his cum mix with yours, all over his base.

“Squirtin all over me, my fucking crazy girl.” He purrs, “Dick controlling that brain, cmon keep goin, such a good girl.”

He slung his cock out at you, slapping your clit with his throbbing head. Spreading you apart, coaxing you for more. You finish dripping down on him, relief flooding your body. He caresses your tits, watching as the ecstasy flows through you.

“Pussys gonna kill me. So fuckin breathtaking beautiful mi amour.” He shoves your hair behind your ear. Holding each other.

You fall on top of him, hugging him. Catching your breath. The smell of sex and sweat was beyond prominent, but you two didn’t mind. It was natural. You’d eventually get up, he would clean himself out of you, change the sheets, maybe grab something to eat. But right now, you only wanted to be with him.

“I could stay here for years, Frankie.”

“Then we will princesa, always and forever.”

——

sooo happy 4th of july 🤗🤗 don’t go too crazy everyone, i love you all. chapter 11 of upper east side will be up at the end of this week

[solaneceae]

【 𝙿 𝚁 𝙾 𝙹 𝙴 𝙲 𝚃 : 𝙳 𝚄 𝙲 𝙺 𝙻 𝙸 𝙽 𝙶 】 | a QSMP Baghera playlist 🐤

a narrative playlist retracing her story, from her humble origins to Purgatory.

cover art by @Rion_Riots on twitter

⤵️ tracklist under the cut ⤵️

CHAPTER 1: lab rat

a duckling opens her eyes to white tiles and syringes.

Bumblebees are Out - Jack Stauber

A Bird in a Gilded Cage - Alex Niedt

Body - Mother Mother

rises the moon - liana flores

CHAPTER 2: Duckling and Bluebird

a bond is formed between two birds of a feather.

Rule #4 Fish in a Birdcage - Fish in a Birdcage

Two Birds - Regina Spektor

Evelyn Evelyn - Evelyn Evelyn

Innocence - Madeon

CHAPTER 3: escape!

this little duckling has had enough.

Escapism - Rebecca Sugar

THE KID WHO KEPT RUNNING - Vylet Pony

Shelter - Porter Robinson

We'll Meet Again - The Ink Spots

CHAPTER 4: drifting away

the ocean waves are tall and scary, but she presses on.

Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - Radiohead

Ship in a Bottle - fin

Shackleton - Adam Young

soundscape diary - vylet pony

CHAPTER 5: a new life of music and dirt fountains

she finds new friends. and slowly, she forgets.

Youth - Daughter

Tout Oublier - Angèle

La veriter - KronoMuzik

I Say - Zerator & BagheraJones

CHAPTER 6: [[We Hope You Enjoy The Island :) ]]

you didn't think it would be that easy, did you?)

Fallen Down - Toby Fox

Amnesia was Her Name - Lemon Demon

HEAVEN SAYS. - chart

Clocks - Alex Niedt

CHAPTER 7: binary green and white bears

federation? codes? where am i?

Your Best Friend - Toby Fox

Beware The Friendly Stranger - Boards of Canada

01001010 01000001 01001101 - Red Skies Project

Untrust Us - Crystal Castles

CHAPTER 8: cherished egg

the island has granted me the gift of motherhood.

Daughter - Sleeping at Last

I'm a Survivor - Reba McEntire

Apple Pies and Butterflies - Blue Wednesday

Little Moth - chloe moriondo

CHAPTER 9: petit frère

APLUPLUUUUUU

Anything You Can Do - Bernadette Peters, Tom Wopat

Amor de irmão - Barão Vermelho

Brother - Kodaline

For Forever - Ben Platt

CHAPTER 10: can I call you Bébou?

(gifting furniture is his love language.)

Lemon Boy - Cavetown

Demons Are a Girl's Best Friend - Powerwolf

It's Alright - Mother Mother

Chateau - Angus & Julia Stone

CHAPTER 11: ordo theoritas

call her apollo, because her theories ALWAYS turn out correct.

Cry Babies - cclorox

Touch-Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon

Dream Sweet in Sea Major - Miracle Musical

A Good Song Never Dies - Saint Motel

CHAPTER 12: don't you want to become a leader?

the election arc.

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A - Toby Fox

Blood // Water - grandson (first death: whale)

14.3 Billion Years - Outer Wilds (second death: the tower)

Brutus - The Buttress

Animal Farm - BIBI

CHAPTER 13: There is no escape this time.

a childhood bedroom hidden beneath engine steam.

Everything Stays - Rebecca Sugar

715 - CREEKS - The Nor'easter

Memories - The Midnight

Look who's Inside Again - Bo Burnam

CHAPTER 14: "Pomme reviens... les gosses me manquent."

she waits for things to change. she seeks her origins.

Dear Wormwood - The Oh Hellos

CRT Days - Waveshaper

Implanted Memories - Infinity Frequencies

What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish

CHAPTER 15A: P U R G A T 👁️‍🗨️ R Y part I

i don't want to leave. i can finally be myself, here.

Wonderland - Caravan Palace

Misery Meat - Sodikken

Hayloft II - Mother Mother

Chainsaw Girl - Chainsaw Girl

Family - Mother Mother

CHAPTER 15B: P U R G A T 👁️‍🗨️ R Y part II

adios, bolas. i won't leave without her.

Idioteque - Radiohead

Eat Your Young - Hozier

My Friends - Oh Wonder

Goodbye - Bo Burnham

On the Nature of Daylight - Max Richter

[areyoudreaminof]

This Life and the Next: A Nessian Playlist

It's finally @nessianweek! And of course for Day 3 I had to make a playlist!

We love their banter, their angst, their passion, and their deep undying love for one another. To watch Cassian and Nesta find each other despite their own personal challenges was such a beautiful and satisfying love story. For this playlist, I tried to follow a somewhat narrative structure that fell in line with ACOSF. I wanted to represent these two people finding one another and lifting the other up. This playlist also has a fun little bonus track for your fun Nessian writing needs. LISTEN HERE and take a look at some lyrics behind the cut.

As The World Caves In-Matt Maltese

My feet are aching And your back is pretty tired And we've drunk a couple bottles, babe And set our grief aside And here it is, our final night alive And as the earth burns to the ground Oh, girl, it's you that I lie with As the atom bomb locks in Oh, it's you I watch TV with As the world, as the world caves in

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene-Hozier

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet

Lose My Cool-Amber Marks

I was so full of pain just stuck in my head There was no one that could get me out of it Yes I think the drinking was a bit excessive Just to be frank the drinking ain't what caused me to be aggressive My heart has been taken over Everyday I get colder to 'em I realize need to let go expression from the get go to 'em Feeling it like I just need to speak my brain

Banquet-Bloc Party

And if you feel A little left behind We will wait for you on the other side 'Cause I'm on fire 'Cause you know I'm on fire when you come

Homage-Mild High Club

Please just have a laugh with me 'Cause you know I'm borrowing by now These sounds, have already crowned Come on it's a silly dream Dreaming of the imagery unfound The view sits nice from that cloud

Make You Better-The Decemberists

I'll love you in springtime I lost you when summer came And when you pulled backwards I wanted to, I needed to Oh-oh, to make me better

Andromeda- Weyes Blood

Treat me right I'm still a good man's daughter Let me in if I break And be quiet if I shatter Gettin' tired of looking You know that I hate the game Don't wanna waste any more time You know I been holdin' out Love is calling It's time to give to you

Skulls-Bastille

I don't want to rest in peace I'd rather be the ghost that annoys you I hope you can make me laugh Six feet down when we're bored of each other A match is our only light

When our lives are over and all that remains Are our skulls and bones, let's take it to the grave And hold me in your arms, hold me in your arms I'll be buried here with you And I'll hold in these hands, all that remains

Leather-Tori Amos

Look, I'm standing naked before you Don't you want more than my sex? I can scream as loud as your last one But I can't claim innocence Oh God, could it be the weather? Oh God, why am I here? If love isn't forever And it's not the weather Hand me my leather

waves-Miguel & Kacey Musgraves

Put it out, I'm on fire, fire That’s what I’m about, take me higher, higher, tonight I'm gonna ride that wave

the last beautiful thing I saw..-Paris Paloma

And I looked up, and saw the sun It separated all the colors And the ice, into my eyes It fell and left me blind That was the last thing that I saw The fractured glass and its downpour I felt the blood mix with the water And I didn't see no more

Rut-The Killers

So I'm handing you a memory I hope you understand That steadily reminds you of who I really am

This city's always breathing, I wish that it would die The kickbacks and the bachelors, the fever for the velvet rope The money from my mother's men I'm not like her, you're not like them

Tell Me You Love Me-Sufjan Stevens

My love, I've lost my faith in everything Tell me you love me anyway, tell me you love me anyway My love, I feel myself unravelling Tell me you love me anyway, tell me you love me anyway My love, I feel the darkness on my back

Eternal Flame-Saint Sister

I believe it's meant to be, darling I watch you when you are sleeping You belong with me Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming? Is this burning an eternal flame?

Milk & Black Spiders-Foals

Oh, I hope you can hear me All those million miles away, you'd stay 'Cause I'd love you dearly All those billion miles away 'Cause I've been around two times And found that you're the only thing I need

BONUS TRACK: Smut-Tom Lehrer

Give me smut And nothing but! A dirty novel I can't shut If it's uncut And unsubt-tle

Taglist: @asnowfern @damedechance @foundress0fnothing @foreverinelysian @gaeleria @goddess-aelin @itsthedoodle @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-does-stuff @labellefleur-sauvage @moodymelanist @c-e-d-dreamer @nessianweek @octobers-veryown @popjunkie42-blog @reverie-tales @rosanna-writer @spell-cleavers @sassyhobbits @separatist-apologist @secret-third-thing @thesistersarcheron @the-lonelybarricade @ultadverb @vulpes-fennec @witchlingsandwyverns @xtaketwox @wilde-knight @witch-and-her-witcher @iftheshoef1tz @ofduskanddreams @talons-and-teeth

[runwiththerain]

"IF MY LIFE IS GOING TO MEAN ANYTHING, I HAVE TO LIVE IT MYSELF."

★ BASIC INFORMATION ━━ percy/ivy/ask ⋆ they/he/she/ask ⋆ 15 ⋆ australia ⋆ aroace ⋆ genderfluid ⋆ autistic ⋆ did system ⋆ ambivert ⋆ #1 wonderland fan ⋆ professional yapper ⋆ romanticises everything ⋆ music is life ⋆ lover of learning ⋆ permanently dehydrated ⋆ grey cat ⋆ headphones on constantly ⋆ ravenclaw ⋆ posiedon, athena or apollo kid ⋆ lover of relationships between characters ⋆ real life mix of percy and annabeth ⋆ number one hozier lover ⋆ 1989 and rep stan ⋆ sunset lover ⋆ rain and the ocean are me ⋆ perpetually curious ⋆ sometimes my posts get less frequent as i need breaks for my mental health

★ HOBBIES ━━ singing ⋆ playing guitar, piano and viola ⋆ listening to music ⋆ reading ⋆ blogging ⋆ playing video games ⋆ baking ⋆ swimming ⋆ learming ⋆ studying ⋆ watching youtube ⋆ bedrotting

★ MUSIC ━━ taylor swift ⋆ gracie abrams ⋆ conan gray ⋆ olivia rodrigo ⋆ lizzy mcalpine ⋆ hozier ⋆ noah kahan ⋆ girl in red ⋆ chappell roan ⋆ alec benjamin ⋆ cavetown ⋆ boywithuke ⋆ waterparks ⋆ one direction ⋆ why don't we ⋆ five seconds of summer ⋆ mothica ⋆ the backseat lovers ⋆ fin ⋆ arctic monkeys ⋆ the neighbourhood ⋆ the oh hellos ⋆ the crane wives ⋆ mothica ⋆ sara kays ⋆ anson seabra ⋆ more

★ ALBUMS ━━ 1989 ⋆ reputation ⋆ red tv ⋆ folklore ⋆ evermore ⋆ sour ⋆ guts ⋆ tsou ⋆ good riddance ⋆ kid krow ⋆ superache ⋆ fh ⋆ gmam ⋆ fsf ⋆ older ⋆ hozier ⋆ wasteland baby! ⋆ unreal unearth ⋆ stick season ⋆ trafoamp ⋆ narrated for you ⋆ these two windows ⋆ more

★ SONGS ━━ wonderland by taylor ⋆ pretty isn't pretty by olivia ⋆ best by gracie ⋆ forever fifteen by mothica ⋆ jigsaw by conan ⋆ erase me by lizzy ⋆ jackie and wilson by hozier ⋆ everywhere, everything by noah kahan ⋆ stupid for you by waterparks ⋆ morph by top ⋆ soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos ⋆ maggot belly by awfultune ⋆ more

★ CHARACTERS ━━ percy jackson ⋆ annabeth chase ⋆ piper mclean ⋆ charlie spring ⋆ tori spring ⋆ olly spring ⋆ frances janvier ⋆ georgia warr ⋆ jimmy kaga ricci ⋆ remus lupin ⋆ james potter ⋆ lily evans ⋆ inej ghafa ⋆ wylan van eck ⋆ el byers ⋆ will byers ⋆ more

★ BOOKS ━━ riordanverse ⋆ osemanverse ⋆ agggtm series ⋆ the hunger games series ⋆ tbosas ⋆ six of crows ⋆ iwwv ⋆ the house in the cerulean sea ⋆ the starless sea ⋆ i kissed shara wheeler ⋆ hiaylm ⋆ tbdate ⋆ the protected ⋆ inheritance ⋆ tsoa ⋆ tshoeh ⋆ more

★ SHOWS/MOVIES ━━ stranger things ⋆ brooklyn 99 ⋆ the good place ⋆ ever after high ⋆ enola holmes series ⋆ frozen ⋆ brave ⋆ more

★ MISCELLANEOUS ━━ asks and dms are always open, though be warned i can be awkward and my tone can be blunt among other things (autism related). my discord is open for frqs (runwiththerain there too). yeah please msg me though i will say i prefer asks because i'm less awkward when chatting through them. i may be slow at responding to asks but there is basically a 100% guarantee i will it just takes me time. i am selective about who i follow. DNI ENDOS AND ENDO SUPPORTERS, ISRAEL SUPPORTERS, HOMOPHOBES, TRANSPHOBES, RACISTS, ABELISTS, MISOGYNISTS, SEXISTS OR ANYONE WHOS DISCRIMINATIVE IN ANY WAY.

★ USERBOXES ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━