#a person got my postcard today and was really happy about it.

[perigelion]

i love stomach aches <333333333 hell yeah brother lets manifest our emotions that way

[subarashiihibi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WIFE IZAYA ORIHARA!!!!!!! 🥰😘👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨😭😎🔥🫶🩷

i can't quite put into words what exactly izaya has meant to me over the past 8 years. one, it sounds really corny and i go off into at least 30 different tangents about all the little things that make him so endearing to me, but also i just dont really know how to sound eloquent and stuff. that being said, a lot of the person i am today is (for better or for worse) thanks to izaya, so i think if i leave it at that you can at least get it a little bit. ^_^

i was really excited to set this year's display up. i changed the room i used this time, since i got a new desk, and it was...kind of a challenge at first, but after moving around a bunch of furniture and whatnot, i made it work...!

i had to forego putting up a few other things... namely the rest of my bromides and postcards, but also all my shikishi. i need to invest in some way to display them... i also had two(!!) dakimakura... i had to leave out this year. </3 and the cardboard cutout i made when i was 16. 😭

as usual, i have a lot of stuff to say about this entire thing and the stuff around it, so i... will leave my rambling under the cut. (^□^)

my god putting this thing together was hell. i said 'challenge' earlier no this shit was like a fucking war omfg. the clear files kept falling i was miserable and praying to god (im not even religious). and then i had to tape behind the big izaya balloon poster cause it's covering my doorway and it kept getting pulled back to the door...? and it looked stupid. 🤦‍♂️ i wasn't originally gonna put the tables in here either. i really wanted to be able to fit the bed sheets on the walls. but i couldn't... and i needed more room to put the pillows and stuff, so it ended up working out perfectly.

(the only reason i didn't want to use tables was cause i didn't want something covering up izaya's sexy exposed feet in the china poster... 😟)

i was (finally) gonna get a cake this year, but after having the stress of two exams back to back this week and exams next week, i...was too exhausted lol. hopefully next year i won't have an awful overnight job or school making me miserable. (as if i'm not still gonna be a student next year☠)

the amount of durarara merch that's come out the past few years has left me feeling so spoiled... i hope they do a mail order for the 20th anni merch... i want all the izaya stuff without the crazy markups from resellers online🤬

also plz don't judge my toploader deco skills too much... i am not very experienced... and i also don't have a lot of stickers to work with... 🥺

at any rate... at this exact time last year, i was suffering inside the confines of my local walmart... i was working overnight, and my break was at 12am, so as soon as it hit, i ran out to my car to excitedly celebrate the date changing to may 4th...!

and then during my lunch break, i drove to the whataburger next door and did another 10-pull on the izaya birthday kuji while in the drivethru.

i didn't realize this until i started taking stuff down in my room (this is my bedroom... i can't realistically keep two large tables in here and a poster covering my doorway. i had to crawl under the table just to get in and out. my knees still hurt.), but... i actually forgot something i wanted to include... my izaya lightstick... 💔💔💔 it's okay. i will live. i'm happy with my setup as a whole so i have no qualms with this. i just need to make sure i don't make the same mistake next year.

on a (slightly) unrelated note, yesterday (may 3) was the 19th birthday of my favorite album ever from my favorite band ever, fall out boy's from under the cork tree! i was so happy when i found out it's right before izaya's birthday cause fall out boy as a whole has so many izaya coded lyrics it's crazy. (btw, their debut album tttyg came out on the 6th as well...!)

and then tomorrow is cinco de mayo... it's not a coincidence... latina izaya truthers rise up...

anyways...! i'm finally learning how to draw properly. the reason i was always so miserable when i tried before was cause i never knew what i was doing. i didn't know where to start from. because...i didn't use references...so hopefully i can draw something cute for izaya's birthday next year. ^_^

that's all i have to say...! i woke up early this (yesterday) morning at 9am so i could be there at 10am when midnight hit in japan, and it's already 3am on the 4th, so i'm exhausted lol...

i was so excited seeing all the izaya bday fanart on twitter though. all the beautiful artists making beautiful art...

but i've spoken too much now. sorry. i'm going to spend the rest of my night listening to fall out boy before i eventually pass out. bye bye !!!! ^_^

[jujumin-translates]

Sakuya Sakuma | [SSR] Toy Box of Hope | Spring Troupe at Block TOY Land - Part 1

Izumi: Ah, Sakuya-kun, good timing!

Sakuya: What’s up?

Izumi: I have to go out right now, so can you give this mail to Tsuzuru-kun?

Sakuya: Got it! I’ll be sure to give it to him.

Izumi: Thanks! Well, see you later!

Sakuya: See you.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Knocking*

Sakuya: You in here, Tsuzuru-kun?

*Door opens*

Citron: Oh, it is Sakuya!

Tsuzuru: What’s up?

Sakuya: I’ve got mail from the Director to give you.

Tsuzuru: …! Could this be…!

Sakuya: …?

Tsuzuru: I won…

Citron: What did you win?

Tsuzuru: A two-day/one-night resort experience for the anniversary project of Block TOY Land. It was something I entered in the postcard sweepstakes for.

Sakuya: Waah, that’s incredible! Congrats!

Citron: It is rare for you to win a postcard sweepstakes, Tsuzuru!

Tsuzuru: Probably just used up all my luck for the year…

Citron: Who are you going to go to Block TOY Land with?

Tsuzuru: I didn’t even think I was gonna win, let alone think about who I’d bring.

Tsuzuru: How many people can even go…?

Citron: It says here up to six people can go!

Sakuya: These kinds of things usually have a lot of pair tickets, but to be able to have six people go is incredibly… It’s really fitting for an anniversary project!

Citron: It is very generous!

Tsuzuru: It is. But six isn’t enough for my family to go… Guess I’ll have to go with you guys then.

Sakuya: I’m really happy you’d consider that, but are you sure you want to go with us?

Tsuzuru: Super sure.

Citron: You are also very generous, Tsuzuru!

Tsuzuru: Nah, it’s not like I paid for the tickets or anything.

Tsuzuru: Everyone is at the dorms today, right?

Sakuya: I think so!

Citron: Let us go and tell them immediately!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Masumi: All the buildings are made out of blocks.

Chikage: It’s called Block TOY Land for a reason.

Citron: It is like being in a town of toys!

Itaru: I’ve seen pics of it on social media, but seeing it in person is way more impressive than I imagined.

Sakuya: I think so too. I’m getting excited just looking at it!

Tsuzuru: How about we drop our stuff off at our rooms, have lunch at the hotel restaurant, and then we can look around a bit?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Sakuya: Waah, the room is really toy-like too!

Tsuzuru: I didn’t think that even the rooms would be like this.

Sakuya: Speaking of that, three twin hotel rooms is a really great postcard sweepstakes reward for an anniversary project.

Tsuzuru: I really didn’t think I’d manage to win this.

Tsuzuru: Plus our room assignments were decided via rock-paper-scissors, so having the different combinations from the dorms is kinda refreshing.

Sakuya: Yeah!

Sakuya: Citron-san and Itaru-san said they were really happy that the two of them brought their gaming consoles so they could game all night long.

Tsuzuru: Masumi looked less than thrilled to be rooming with Chikage-san. Well, probably because Chikage-san likes to tease him.

Sakuya: Ahaha… Hopefully Chikage-san doesn’t tease him too much today.

Tsuzuru: Yeah. Well, it’s almost time to meet up, so we should get going.

Sakuya: Yeah!

[ Next Part ⇢ ]

[putschki1969]

5/13 Wakana 3rd Album『Sono Saki e』Online Sign Event

DOWNLOAD the FULL VIDEO

If you’ve got time, don’t forget to tune in to today’s live broadcast. Two online sign events are being held to celebrate the release of Wakana’s 3rd original album and those who purchase the album in the Victor Online Store will receive a personalised autopgraph from Wakana. ◆【1st】 4/16 13h～　BUY HERE　(Pre-order deadline: 4/15)　 ◆【2nd】5/13 17h～　BUY HERE   (Pre-order deadline: 5/12)

As a purchase privilege, you will receive an alternate version of the “Sono Saki e” cover with a different visual depending on the day. This cover image will be signed by Wakana and include a personal reference with your chosen nickname. Both events will be broadcast on YouTube and archived until April 23, May 20 respectively. ※The store specific tokuten postcard will NOT be included with your order

Tweet 1 | Tweet 2 by Wakana | Instagram post by Wakana

Random comments: 

Funny how Wakana can’t remember whether she put an “へ” and heart after the name last time. She DID of course so that’s what they are going with today as well.

So glad we are getting her album tracks as background music🤗

Really love the Celtic(?) sound of “Rapa Nui”, it’s swiftly becoming one of my favourite tracks. Kinda sounds like something you would hear at a medieval festival. Reminds me a bit of Kalafina’s “Moonfesta” I guess. Based on the title, I would have expected the song to sound totally different but I am honestly not mad about it.

“Shirushi” is the type of song that I will only be able to enjoy live.

Still obsessed with “Kibou”. Such a gorgeous melody. Sounds so much like a 90s pop ballad. Cannot wait to hear this live. Although the chorus is really high so she might struggle with it...?

YAY, I got my personalised “Sarah-chan”!! I was afraid that Wakana would write “Sarah-chan-san” but thankfully she didn’t XD A shame that she seemed to be in quite a rush today, she barely held the signed cover up for a second but oh well, still super happy!! [Someone in the comments even mentioned that her pace was a bit too fast to take proper screenshots LOL]

“Kara” is okay but nothing outstanding. The more generic version of “Tsubasa” I guess. Wakana even mentions that Satoshi Takebe intended for it to become Tsubasa 2.0.

I wanna appreciate “KEMONO” for its artistry but damn, I cannot handle listening to it. It triggers some serious heart palpitations T_T I am so curious how she will manage to sing this live.

Hearing the full version of “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau“ is really nice, I like the arrangement. I can see myself appreciating this song more and more as time goes by. 

It’s a shame that I can’t really get into “Sono Saki e”, it is still kinda meh to me.

Wow, this event was so much longer than the last one. Happy that Wakana got to sell a lot of copies.

[queen-of-boops]

so copied this from my ask to mrsbsmooth as she let me know you're an ozzy girlie too 😭

I'm so happy for all the Lewie/Roberto girlie's rn with the MN clip (my playthrough was R but know that L girlie's will have got the same one 🥰)

Personally I'm an Ozzy girlie and I'm ngl the casa stuff doesn't phase me, I'm gonna give clown emoji energy rn and paint my clown face on to tell you my thoughts 🤡

So obviously casa comes, we as mc get dumped, if you're on an ozzy route Oz leaves us the letter (wish it would've been a bit more sweet but that's fusebox for you), upon them recieving the postcard we still haven't been told WHAT they were shown of us on the postcard and as to why he felt the way he felt about the situation and was worried that not only would grace twist but also MC and I do think he's genuine about that, we know from previous challenges Ozzy isn't the type of guy for one night stands etc, he's into meaningful relationships, I don't for one believe a single thing Marshall has said about Oz, I think Marshall has an ulterior motive and honestly his reaction to Amelia defending him has just kinda said it all really, she was the only one to bite and he used her to get into the main villa.

I do think from ozzys storyline he's genuinely there to find a connection, and as nearly all the characters have said if you follow the ozzy route and choose him for questions that they answer before leaving, it's been bubbling to the surface with him.

Dont get me wrong, he could have treated Grace better BUT, but now hear me out, in my playthrough grace has asked about Ozzy having feelings elsewhere and I said yeh he does, this girl has not believed it even though I haven't hidden it at all, like I've told you I like him and he likes me WHY ARE YOU PRESSED? and I'm not gonna lie I do feel her reaction was uncalled for during movie night as sis also been cracking on aswell, she cracked on w elliot (or tried too atleast) and hamish so really she's been no better than Oz. I think Grace's character is quite insecure and she's afraid she won't find another connection, instead of accepting that Ozzy isn't the one for her she's holding onto something that is doomed to fail honestly and has been since day 1.

I will defend ozzy until the day I die even if I'm the biggest clown doing so I adore his character honestly

Oh, anon, you're speaking my language.

Honestly, while I was playing, I was fuming that FB did us so dirty, but the longer I think about it, the more I can excuse his actions (hey, my name on the ff discord is literally Ozzy Apologist, I have to live up to that somehow).

We all know Ozzy can be a bit of a mess. He's had feelings for MC since the start and he's really struggled with how to handle that and stay respectful. Then we get to casa: MC's gone, he and Grace are rocky, and he can't even talk to either of them. Add in the postcards where he sees Grace and Hamish all over eachother and something to make him doubt MC and it's no wonder he was upset.

Honestly, the person I'm the most angry with is Jamal (or whoever is with Flo). Ozzy was in a really vunerable place and they just took advange of that and encouraged him to do something he regrets.

Now Grace.... I honestly don't even know what to say any more. I really want her to be happy, but with every week it becomes harder and harder to defend her. Babe, even if MC didn't return Ozzy's feelings, it's been obvious for a while that you two don't belong together. And don't even get me started on how hypocritical she was in today's episodes.

And I'm not even going to waste my breath on Marshall, his opinions are so irrelevant to me.

Every week that goes by I go through a cycle: I get giddy when he says anything sweet, then annoyed when he and Grace try to play perfect couple, then upset when I have to tweak the outline for my Ozzy villa fic, and then I end up running right back into his arms.

So you're not alone, anon. We'll get through this together and come out the other side with our man by our side.

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @sorrybutblog

Happy happy birthday iota! Today we celebrate two of my favourite fandom people, the power that you guys hold 😌 This list was supposed to be published later on in the series but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to scream again about your wonderful work. It’s been lovely to share this fandom space with you, and to get to know you better in the last few months. I’ve been in love with your fics ever since I read Waiting for that Feeling and now I finally get to share a proper reclist with your hidden gems!

I’ve told you this before but the first word that comes to mind when I think of your writing is “refreshing”. Your characters are a charming mix of open and tentative, a bit bold and a bit shy, and I can never guess what they’re doing or saying next, which is really exciting because it keeps me engaged at all times. I love how your Harry and Draco have such unique and interesting personalities; considering so many authors focus on Draco’s POV, your Harry has quickly become one of the most captivating takes I’ve seen on him lately.

Whenever I’m reading a iota fic I’m surprised by an unexpected joke that makes me snort out loud, or a subtle confession that makes me take a deep breath and go back to reread that line a few times. I love your brand of slice-of-life, light and fun but also contemplative and so so sexy (honestly, I haven’t seen someone make T and M content this sexy in a long time!) with low key angst, clever humor, engaging dialogue and A+ purposeful flirting. Your delicious UST and fab sense of humour got me immediately obsessed with both Heartlines and A Truth - I remember thinking “Wow iota has such a cool VIBE and I love it!”. Being in such a big fandom surrounded by many talented authors, I think it’s impressive that you found a strong, unique voice and are able to come up with original ways to approach these characters and tropes.

I’m always excited when I see you’ve posted a new fic because I know it’s gonna be a lovely treat perfectly crafted to meet my tastes. My picks probably aren’t a surprise to anyone - least of all iota 😂 - as I’ve been praising these gems for a while now. These are my 7 favorites but everyone should also go check her drabble collection. May I suggest Ephemera, Curiosity and Blue as a starting point? You’re welcome. Happy birthday my darling, I wish you all the nicest things and a lovely day! It’s a privilege to share this fandom with you :)

Eavesdrop (2021, T, 1k) - technically a microfic but I like it so much I wanted to include a small review. I love this concept and how iota gives them so much character here, jealous Harry is so hot! They come together nice and easy, and the hopeful ending left me wanting all the 8th year sneaking around (sorry, Michael!)

The walls at the Leaky Cauldron were paper thin. Harry knew this because he could hear Malfoy next door.

Market Saturdays (2021, M, 3.2k) - you know what they say, market romance is peak romance!!! This domestic fluff is everything I didn’t know I needed, I’ve read this fic multiple times and it never fails to make my heart ache with sweet tenderness for them. This gentle short story will cleanse your skin and cure your anxiety, results guaranteed or your money back 👌🏼

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

Waiting for that Feeling (2021, T, 3.8k) - road trip my beloved! This is a breathtaking and immersive friends to lovers tale with light angst, a perfect Ronald Weasley and soft contemplative vibes. It was my very first iota fic and it became an instant fave, I’ll always have a special spot for it inside my heart.

Draco Malfoy has a car and Harry Potter is on the case! Featuring Muggle car repair, a road trip to Cornwall, and falling in love in a Ford Fiesta. Read my rec here.

Postcards From Italy (2021, E, 6k) - the CMBYN AU we deserve! This fic combines delicious summery vibes with the gorgeous Italian aesthetique and a sexy, organic and quite charming acquaintances-to-lovers get together. I wanna live inside this pool party/nightclub/bathtub perfect universe, please and thank!

A pool party, a nightclub, a bathtub. Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expected to run into the summer before his third year of university, but he's not complaining (at least not anymore).

Not Nineteen Forever (2022, E, 6k) - I still can’t believe this wonderful de-aging goodness was written for Liv day! This is a perfect Auror partners romance with the BEST sassy 19yo Draco, pining Harry, sweet friends to lovers with adorable flirting and a nod to Daddy kink 😳 basically everything I love in one place, sweet and clever and smutty as all lovely things iota creates.

A rogue charm hits on a mission and suddenly, Draco is nineteen again. Harry is still thirty-five and doing his best to look after his de-aged Auror partner (and forget about his long unrequited crush) until St. Mungo’s can brew the antidote. Only, Draco insists on wandering around Harry’s flat wearing nothing but Harry’s pants, flirting like his life depends on it and in the end, Harry’s only human after all. Read my rec here.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged (2021, M, 17k) - the ultimate P&P-inspired Drarry with perfect enemies to fuck buddies to friends (and lovers). Harry’s voice and want for Draco! The urgent sneaking around! The countryside romance! This fic is so so good it left me a bit incoherent, please expect a proper rec as soon as I stop screaming about this.

A year out from the war, Harry agrees to accompany Hermione on a historical walking tour of Pride and Prejudice. Not in the itinerary: running into Draco Malfoy, setting off a summer of stately homes, lavish parties, resentful shagging, and maybe, falling in love.

Heartlines (2022, T, 22k) - my favorite Cluefest this year, excellent and intriguing case fic with sentient Houses, competent Auror!Harry, surprising and brilliant sense of humour, delicious slow burn with clever dialogue and tons of UST! This fic is sexy, mysterious, funny and charming all at once, definitely a must read.

Just as Draco Malfoy's life seems to be getting back on track, the magic at Malfoy Manor is spinning out of control. Auror partners Harry Potter and Angelina Johnson are assigned to the case and quickly find that nothing about the situation is obvious. The flare ups are unpredictable at best, downright dangerous at worst, and why has a Hogwarts first year gone missing at the same time? Read my rec here.

[lenbryant]

The NYTimes celebrates Shirley Jackson's short story "The Lottery" on its 75th anniversary of publication. I can't remember when I first read it, but I don't believe it was during high school. In h.s. we read Silas Marner and Julius Caesar. (Being a teenager, none of that stuck with me really.)

(Times) 75 Years After ‘The Lottery’ Was Published, the Chills Linger Stephen King, David Sedaris, Carmen Maria Machado and others on how Shirley Jackson’s eerie classic first got under their skin.

June 26, 2023

In its June 26, 1948 issue, The New Yorker published Shirley Jackson’s unsettling story “The Lottery,” and it’s not an overstatement to say that readers freaked out. They wrote letters in droves, angry or unsure about what this slowly unfolding portrait of small-town mob violence was doing in a literary-minded magazine. Now considered an American classic, the story went on to become a classroom mainstay, and a bracing influence on artists prone to see the rot in the flower bed. Here, 75 years later, 13 writers and filmmakers — plus Jackson’s graphic-novelist grandson — recall reading “The Lottery” for the first time, and why it’s stayed with them since.

Stephen King Author, “Holly” (forthcoming) I read it in study hall, back at good old Lisbon High School. My first reaction: Shock. My second reaction: How did she do that?

Jean Kwok Author, “The Leftover Woman” (forthcoming) As a first-generation Chinese immigrant, I hadn’t been exposed to much literary fiction. I was initially seduced by the calm, folksy demeanor of the characters even as I felt increasing dread as the story progressed. When “The Lottery” drew to its conclusion, I felt as if I had been struck by the stone that hit Tessie Hutchinson. Even today, “The Lottery” reminds me that it is the role of the artist to lead readers into unexpected territory.

David Sedaris Author, “Happy-Go-Lucky” If I’m not mistaken, my seventh-grade teacher showed us the movie of “The Lottery” before having us read it, which is unfortunate. I remember sitting in the dark when it flickered to an end, completely destroyed. I reread “The Lottery” every few years and have listened to many audio versions, none of which get the last line right in my opinion (the closest is Maureen Stapleton for The Caedmon Short Story Collection). When I first read the story it seemed fresh — was fresh, I suppose, only 23 years old. Now I wonder what a young person would make of it. The old-fashioned names: Tessie, Bobby, Dickie, Old Man Warner. None of the wives work outside of the home. Several are “scolds.” Yet when the story reaches its chilling conclusion — “All right, folks … Let’s finish quickly” — does any of that matter?

Rob Savage Filmmaker, “The Boogeyman” Growing up in a small countryside town, “The Lottery” confirmed all my fears and suspicions about what lay beneath the folksy, postcard-perfect surface of my community and the cruelty implicit in our blindly followed traditions. I could see the smiling faces of my friends and family in the baying Lottery crowd, recognized the casual othering and muttered prejudice of my town in their overt violence. I was a kid when I first read “The Lottery,” and a weird kid at that. I became weirder still as my world expanded beyond the parochial, and the more I became a stranger to the people I’d grown up around, the more I could picture myself being on the receiving end of their stones, should the occasion arise.

Carmen Maria Machado Author, “In the Dream House” I was an anxious kid who loved, even sought out, scary stories, and this one was huge for me. I wouldn’t read the rest of Shirley Jackson’s oeuvre until my early 20s, but this story’s iconic, deceptively quiet final line —“…and then they were upon her” — pursued me through my “charming poems about fairies putting dew on the flowers” writing phrase and into my “writing about life’s many horrors” phase. I am deeply grateful for the chase.

Josephine Decker Filmmaker, “Shirley” The first time was in middle school, and I think it affirmed my nascent understanding that the world has cruel rules, and no one understands why they are there. I recently worked with a teen mother whom Texas Child Protective Services (CPS) separated from her child for two weeks because her partner “smelled like marijuana.” No actual evidence. Shirley Jackson managed to get to the core of something incredibly true, which is that people will be attacked, without mercy, and society will approve. Because it’s something we’ve always done.

James DeMonaco Filmmaker, “The Purge” series I was a 12-year-old boy, in the sixth grade, prone to night terrors. “The Lottery” was a consistent double feature in my nightmares. It wasn’t the violence at the end of the story that deprived me of sleep, it was everything Shirley Jackson didn’t tell us. She never told us where we were; she never told us what year it was; and, most importantly and hauntingly, she never told us why. Why?

My first draft of “The Purge” included a three-page opening narration that explained, in detail, how the Purge came about in American society. We shot this sequence and included it in the first cut of the film. One night, I was startled awake. I had dreamed of “The Lottery” once again, still plagued by the same question — Why? The next day, I cut that opening, eliminating any explanation of the Purge’s origins.

Idra Novey Author, “Take What You Need” In Jackson’s description of the boys who know they will be praised for gathering stones without being asked, in the power granted to those most willing to keep the procedure going, I recognized my rural high school’s football team, certain parent voices in the stands. I recognized our mandatory ritual each afternoon — students called upon to lower the flag and fold it into a series of triangles. If any student exhibited the daring of Mrs. Hutchinson, to inquire whether we might be better off trying some other kind of fold, the student was immediately ridiculed or ignored.

Miles Hyman Graphic novelist, “The Lottery” I first read “The Lottery" when I was too young to understand it. In subsequent re-readings I became more attuned to my grandmother’s skill at her craft, spellbound by her meticulous, almost obsessive fine-tuning of language. But it was in adapting “The Lottery” as a graphic novel in 2016 that I felt I finally understood the story. This unusual experiment gave me the chance to take apart the original text word by word, putting it back together again in visual form — a sort of Humpty Dumpty of menace, so to speak.

Tananarive Due Author, “The Wishing Pool and Other Stories” Looking back, I wonder how “The Lottery” especially might have resonated with me as a young Black girl whose family was integrating a mostly white South Florida neighborhood. We had a few incidents — tomatoes thrown against the house, vandalism to our car — but most days were sunny and bright, like the one described at the opening of Shirley Jackson’s story. I didn’t know that my parents had been so worried about threats against our family that they enlisted white friends from the Unitarian church to sit watch over our house in their cars at night. But maybe, like my mother before me, I’d already learned how horror fiction could express true-life fears I couldn’t let myself think about consciously — like what might happen if an entire community turned against us and started throwing stones.

Danielle Trussoni Author, “The Puzzle Master” I was edging toward writing about violence, and I realized that I could go even further.

Stephen Graham Jones Author, “Don’t Fear the Reaper” Must have been right around fourth grade, maybe fifth. Little 2A school way out in the West Texas scrub. This would have been right when we stopped having homeroom, with one teacher doing all the subjects, and were now going from class to class, teacher to teacher. It felt so adult. The thing that lodged in me: that everything that’s about to happen — the violence, the gore, the killing — it’s happening in my head, after the story’s over. I could shut the book, but the story kept murmuring.

Levi Holloway Playwright, “Grey House” I was in my early 30s, just as I was starting down the course to be a playwright in Chicago. That first read — I laughed out loud to no one, then read it again immediately. It dead-stopped my heart.

Paul Tremblay Author, “The Pallbearers Club” I’ve reread “The Lottery” many times and remain haunted by the possibilities and ambiguity in the final line uttered by the doomed Mrs. Hutchinson: “It isn’t fair, it isn’t right.” Is she simply the victim of blind chance? Did she believe the lottery was fixed so that her name would come up? Was it supposed to have been fixed for her name not to be chosen? Is she decrying the entire lottery, the social/political system and its ugly inherent injustices? Is it existence itself that is unfair and not right? All great stories wrestle with that last question.

(Picture) Four illustrations from “The Lottery” show a woman in a kitchen taking off her apron, walking upstairs, and looking into what seem to be a boy’s and a girl’s bedrooms, both of which are empty. Images from Miles Hyman’s 2016 graphic novel rendition of “The Lottery,” which was written by his grandmother.

[jasmariswonderland]

And now, time for Farron’s birthday interview! 

~~~

Yuulan: Happy Birthday, Prince Farron!

Farron: Haha, you’re still calling me that! I don’t mind though, thank you!

Y: It suits you! Anyway, how does it feel having everyone celebrate your birthday?

F: It’s lovely seeing everyone here having fun on my behalf and receiving everyone’s well wishes. And I’ve received many presents too!

Y: Really? What have you received so far? Any gifts that left an impression on you?

F: From Kalim, I received three bolts of silk from his homeland, Vil-san also gave me a very beautiful bolt of fabric. I’ve never worked with such delicate material so I must think carefully about what I decide to make from them. 

Y: Did you receive anything from you family?

F: My older sister is currently studying abroad and she sent me a postcard and some candies from the island she’s visiting. The postcard is dated for today so she must have seen to it that I would receive it today. Even though we don’t see each other much these days, it’s nice to know she’s still thinking about me. 

~~~

Y: When did you begin sewing?

F: My earliest memories are all centered around clothes, my fascination with them and how they were made. I would watch my mom and sister dress up for parties or watch my dad work in the tailoring shop he owns with one of his friends. When I was ten, I got my first sewing machine and that’s when I really began to get into it!

Y: So you always knew you wanted to go into fashion design?

F: Believe it or not, no. Honestly, I was very insecure about my craft when I was in grade school. My love of fashion perplexed a lot of other guys my age and I was made fun of a lot. My teachers tried to help, but their idea of helping was trying to find hobbies for me that wouldn’t make me a target for bullying. Nothing worked though and I began to wonder if this was really my dream if it left me feeling so crappy and isolated. 

Y: I can understand that. Bullying is the worst. 

F: I felt isolated for a long time until I arrived at NRC and joined Pomefiore. I joined the film research club as an assistant. For a while I tried to keep my head down and not draw attention to myself but that didn’t last very long. When Vil-san realized my skills, he made me chief costume designer for the club and even insisted I make costumes for him! I was very reluctant but then he offered me a room in the dorm to be my own personal studio! That’s was something I always dreamed of having so…yeah, I really had no choice at that point. *laughs*

Y: *laughs* He knew exactly how to butter you up, huh? I hope you grew less reluctant over time though. 

F: Don’t worry, I love my work with the film research club! I was reluctant, it’s true but it’s been a blessing in disguise because Vil-san has been very helpful in me become more comfortable with myself and accepting what I love. 

Y: Really? He’s always struck me as very strict and stern. 

F: Oh he is, don’t think for a moment he isn’t! But he’s also inspirational as well. When I look at him, I see the person I’d like to become. Someone confident in who they are who doesn’t care about out of date societal expectations when it comes to appearance. Since joining Pomefiore, I’ve slowly given up trying to be someone I’m not. I’m a lot happier now, and I have Vil-san to thank for that. 

Y: I hope he realizes what devoted club members he has. 

F: Even if he doesn’t, I’m still thankful to him. And the opportunities working with him has given me have been incredible as well! 

~~~

Y: Outside of sewing, what other things you you enjoy?

F: I’m fond of outdoor activities, I love riding my bike. Every weekend, I like to ride from side of the isle of sages to the other and then back. The trip takes about 7 hours total but it’s a good workout. 

Y: Isn’t RSA on the other side of the isle though?

F: Hehe, it is but I…make a point of stopping before I reach that point *has his fingers crossed behind his back*. You should join me one of these days. 

Y: If Crowley ever allows me enough madol for a bike of my own, I’d love to! 

F: We’ll find a bike for you, don’t worry! In any case, I’m also a big music lover. That’s something else I’ve rekindled since coming to NRC. 

Y: What kind of music do you like?

F: Most kinds, though I really like classical music, especially the sound of the piano. When we have receptions at Pomefiore, I’m often the one providing music with Sidonie. I’d play for you now, but Sidonie insists that since it’s my birthday, I shouldn’t! 

Y: *laughs* Maybe next time. It looks like school life has treated you very well, Farron. 

F: I think most of all, being at this school has opened my eyes to the kind of person I’d like to be. I feel like I’ve tried hiding myself in the past and became frustrated with myself when I couldn’t. I’m not saying everything at NRC has been sunshine and rainbows, but I feel much freer now than I’ve been in a long time, since I was a child. And now, I want to explore all the possibilities open to me!

Y: I wish you the best of luck on all your future endeavors! I’m sure you’ll slay in anything you do! 

F: You better believe it! After all, I am the prince of style, as you and Rook are always reminding me! 

Y: Exactly! Thank you for sharing more about you today, and once again, happy birthday!

(A/N: When I ever get around to learning how to draw with better perspective, the groovy image is of Farron taking a selfie with Sidonie and Danica, and Cater trying to cut in at the last minute) 

[itssydneysweeney]

So.... 

[ ooc: imagine she left a set of envelopes over their bed, all smell of her perfume and have numbers so he knows in which order to open them ]

hello handsome. today is your special day and i wanted it to be all about you, but since you seem to have everything everyone could ever ask for, i started wondering - what could a girl like me get you? and there were many options like: * a new guitar, but oh, you have plenty.... * a star.... isn’t that too overused? plus you are the one true star. * or i could get you regular gifts like a rolex or something like that but you probably have plenty.... so for my dimples, my loving boyfriend, the tulips guy, the only boy that matters (to me) ... here are some gifts that i consider he’d like way better:

1st. have a postcard with the picture i have as lockscreen from the days we spent together in europe.

2nd. just so you know i actually listen the things you tell me, do you remember that one time you mentioned just how bad you felt that during our time in florence you didn’t give me the time of day and that you wanted to go back there one day? well, i got us the plane tickets and they are open so you can be the one who picks when do you wanna go... there is no rush, it can be tomorrow, in a week, a month or a year... i’m here to stay anyways....

3rd. one of my favorite things of the nights we spend together is actually waking up in your arms... sorry i wasn’t there this morning as you opened your eyes but someone had to make this breakfast for two and set up all your surprises.... also sorry for pretending i had forgotten what day was today but... we are having breakfast outside cause there is where your 4th gift is waiting for you... now, before you open your 4th envelope come meet me downstairs and please don’t cheat Mendes!!

[ ooc: and here is where shawn is supposed to go downstairs and meet Sydney ]

4th. please read the next coupon carefully. do you notice anything odd? that isn’t my name, is it? but it does sound familiar, right? so here is the thing.... i really, really, really like you and i wanted to show that to you, show you how happy you make me and there was no material gift that could do that.... and that’s when i started thinking.... what is something that shawn REALLY needs? Tarzan. yes, the dog you share with your ex... i know how much he means to you and how much you might be needing him so shout out to your ex for actually letting me bring him with me for a few days.... she also agreed to let you have him at least one week per month and whenever she is busy on tour you can babysit the little one (well, not so little...). now you may understand why i wasn’t sure if toronto was the best idea, i was more afraid for him than anything but... babe, open the door now that i’m anxious to see your face and there is someone who wants to jump over you. (also, yes - the coupon can be extended to get some hugs and kisses from me too). 

P.S.: this is not mandatory but Tarzan mentioned, and Tank agreed, that we should get them a four pawned sibling... well, or at least you should, and i was hoping you’d let me go pick one with you. (not today tho cause i’m sure you want to see your parents and such)

5th. you owe me a date, but this coupon isn’t for that. it’s a coupon you can use at any time you want and i just can’t even say “but”, just show it to me and i’ll be by your side in a heartbeat. so if you are ever missing me or consider it’s been too long since the last time we saw each other in person... use it and i’m your, Mendes. 

your girlfriend,                         Syd.

@shcwns

[thehealingkind]

5 things I'm committing to doing this year for the sake of my health and happiness

I've been doing a bit of thinking of late about what I can do to really optimise my health and wellbeing this year, to make sure that my lifestyle remains balanced, my health in check and importantly, that there is laughter and happiness abound.  This thinking took me back to 2014 and a reflection on those activities or habits that made me feel really, really good. As far as I'm concerned doing anything that makes you feel really, really good is worthy of repeating, often. So here goes.

1. Take regular naps, any day of the week that your body requires, guilt free.

Ok so I appreciate this isn't easy for those of you who don't work from home, but even if you don't, napping should be guilt free when you need it and when it's physically possible. I'm well aware that listening to my body (and stopping when it needs me to) has not always been a strength of mine, in fact it was always my biggest weakness and was highlighted when that need to 'push' (incessantly) saw me flat on my back with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  This year, in an effort to keep my energy consistent (and to enable me to do all the things I want to do), as soon as my body tells me it needs rest, I'm listening.

2. Drink a green juice or smoothie every day.

This doesn't need much explanation except to say I'm not making any more "can't be bothered to clean that damn machine today" excuses. The fact is raw greens give me a sense of vitality, within minutes of drinking them down (whether I enjoy the green combo or not). Enough said.

3. Incorporate a fun, social form of exercise into every week.

I move every day, mostly in the form of 1-2 hours walking, so this commitment isn't about moving more, it's about having more fun whilst I do. Last year I had a mighty fun time mixing up the exercise and moving in ways that make me laugh and involved others. For instance, I grew up playing loads of tennis and table tennis and loved it, but life got busy and I let those fun habits slide. This year I'm committing to making tennis and table tennis a regular part of my movement regime. And if there's an opportunity to go dancing, I'm all over that too.

4. Do something for, or give something to, at least one person every single week, without expecting anything in return.

Around mid last year things started feeling a bit hard - my health wasn't fantastic, I was working too hard (and not having enough fun), I felt very strongly that I wasn't in the flow (I'm going to write more about this some time soon). At that point I readjusted many things in my life and decided to come right back to basics. I concentrated on doing those things that raised my vibration because as we know, the more you give the more you receive. Giving to others is one of the best ways to do this. Whether it be home made jam on a doorstep, a postcard in the mail, some left overs for your neighbour, it doesn't matter. Giving without expecting anything at all FEELS GOOD.

5. Once a month, tick something off the "I'd really love to try or do that" list.

I'm guilty of saying this and not following through, often. Well enough already. This year I'm working through that list. I'm going to do that knife skills course (I so badly need), I'm going to jump on the plane and go to 'those' places, I'm going to work my way through my 'Melbourne Walks in Nature' card deck, I'm going to jump back on a horse...you name it, I'm going to do it.

[hxneekyuu]

gym 3 boys on a road trip with their s/o

feat. (aged up) akaashi keiji, kuroo tetsurou, tsukishima kei, bokuto koutarou,

warnings : language, occasionally nsfw

a/n : i just decided to do the gym 3 boys bc theyre my literal favorites, but i can do others if anyone wants to request them!

akaashi keiji

literally prepared for anything and everything

has actually thought of every possible thing that could go wrong and has a plan for it 

more interested in the destination than the trip itself but will enjoy the trip just as much as you do

would want to drive the entire time, but he wont argue if you say you want to drive too bc tbh his back probably hurts

probably a pretty quiet drive because hes not much of a talker to begin with, but it’s not uncomfortable

would let you choose all the music because he doesnt mind , he just likes to spend time w you

tbh the only reason hes on this trip is bc you expressed interest in a road trip and he wanted to spend time w you

if you ever say anything about the view being pretty or nice, be prepared for him to quietly find a way to pull over so you can take pictures

no words, just silently checks his mirrors and switches lanes until youre on the side of the road

“what are we doing?” “you said it looked pretty”

literally the perfect bf ever wtf 

probably has an itinerary of things to do once you get to each place like a mom

will not hesitate to drag your ass out of bed at 7am every day to go exploring

“we did not travel this far just to sleep”

booked all the double decker city bus tours, all of them

the king of google maps 

you wouldnt have to do any of the work , hes already done it all

pretends to be strict about exploring, but will easily give in if you say youre tired and just want to chill at the hotel 

“i guess we can go back a little early today,,,” shut up akaashi you want cuddles too

kuroo tetsurou

has no plans

does not know how to plan

you will have to do all the work for this trip 

hes just along for the ride

it does not matter who chooses the music, he will talk over it 

will tell really bad jokes and laugh at every single one with that beautiful hyena laugh

definitely will point out all the ridiculous signs on the side of the road 

quotes all the possible vines 

“ROAD WORK AHEAD??” “tetsu pls don--” “I SURE HOPE IT DOES”

“oh look, it says deer crossing ahead!!” “,,,,, oh deer,,,” “tetsu--”

you will probably want to kill him at some point 

ten hours in a car with just kuroo? why did you agree to this trip

will 100% want to mess around at every hotel you stay in

most people want to get a postcard or something from every place they go

kuroo wants to fuck

surprisingly good at waking up early for exploring 

but he likes to explore in a chill way, like finding a place for breakfast and then going on a walk or smth

hes not big on tours and stuff like that, it’s not his vibe

the last time he went on a tour he got kicked out for all his bad jokes

probably very overprotective when youre exploring only bc its an unfamiliar place

will hover closer than usual and pay more attention to you in shops than the actual merchandise

like a guard dog

would probably make you feel so safe and comfy on a trip w him , 10/10 recommend

tsukishima kei

you will never have control of the music

do not even think of trying to control the music

tsukki has created the perfect playlist for both of your music tastes and he will be very grumpy if you even look at the aux 

it will prob be a very quiet drive but its very calming because he really did make the perfect playlist 

he will drive the entire time, no arguing with him over it

he’ll say its bc he doesnt trust your driving, but really its bc he gets really antsy when he doesnt have smth to do for that long, so he wouldnt want to sit in the passengers seat

probably always has one hand on your leg bc hes ~affectionate~

will joke about you giving him road head 

but hes probably a really safe driver so he wont actually let you do it if you try

if you try to talk over the music he will shush you and restart the song

will definitely complain every time you have to pee

and will make fun of you if you try to hold it for his sake

there is no winning, he is tsukki

but tbh he probably can already tell when you get hungry or want to stop for a bathroom, he just likes being difficult

also probably the most likely to have random surges of affection for you while driving

he’d never admit it, but just existing in silent comfort next to you for hours on end is something he appreciates

do not try to wake him up for city exploring whenever you do reach your destinations

hes a big fan of “sleep now, see later”

you will not get him out of bed, do not try

he’d be perfectly happy just staying in the hotel all day but that makes zero sense 

so he’d let you drag him around for a couple hours before he starts complaining 

this trip is mostly about the long stretches of driving for him, he likes that part more

bokuto koutarou

probably the best road trip partner ever 

is just so excited about everything

will point out every single cow he sees

and his only music request is that you play something loud and energetic when hes driving so he can sing along 

the master of driving games

wants to play all the games

hes like,,, that moment in every coming of age YA novel where the main characters go on a chaotic adventure road trip

hes just that entire sequence of events in a person

will make an adventure out of every possible moment with you

like a sudden breath of fresh air, sometimes hes more breathtaking than the view 

he makes everything fun and bright , there is never a dull moment

will also absolutely joke about you giving him road head and will absolutely mean it

is very excited to explore cities with you but will never complain about cuddles if you want to sleep in

anything you want to do hes like fuck yes i love that idea 

his favorite part is eating

he only ever wants to eat, he thinks about where to eat next while hes eating 

he is just the best person to travel with, he makes everything so much more fun

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Pedro Pascal’s Characters

updated: 09/10/2021

Fic Ratings (read warnings in fic for details):

(G) General Audiences

(M) Mature

(E) Explicit: only suitable for adults

-> fake dating Drabbles with all the dude’s  <-

Home (M)

It’s been a long day year for Javi and all he wants is to go home.

Leave the light on (G)

Sleeping with the lights out seemed like a thing all the people do. So you told him how you struggled with it, after you almost fell asleep at a stake out he made sure you would feel safe from now on. 

switch (E)

When your new hot neighbor turned out to be no other than Javier Peña, the Agent that would join one of your Departments with you as his Superior, things should get a little more complicated. But somehow they didn’t…

Missing you (G)

A gala from the American embassy in Bogota lets you finally run in the man who you left without saying goodbye almost two years ago.

mix up (E)

A mix-up with the building's laundry was all it took to get what you always secretly wanted.

late night calls (E)

It all started with a phone call to the DEA office to tell Javier about the surgery of his father. You had insisted to take care of him after Chucho told you about the surgery. That you would fall in love with his son you had never met before? Just as surprising to you as it was to Javier. 

Night shift (E)

Meeting Javier during one of your nightshifts at the hospital turned into falling in love with him. But working different shifts can be challenging, yet you somehow make it work.

Whiskey, Cigarettes and Condoms (E)

You are working in a shop and your most interesting customer is the hot guy who buys XL Condoms every single week. Until he stopped.

Don't you want me (M)

6 years passed since Javier made the one decision he wished he could take back. What happens when he meets the one woman he ever truly loved?

Decisions (G)

You find your boyfriend cheating with one of your friends after getting home from work and call the person you always call when shit hits the fan.

Drabbles:

answering machine (G)

It's been two years since you heard Javier's voice. That didn't mean you weren't talking to him.

-> inevitable (series; M->E)

All your life you thought that there was no way the prophecy would come true. That was until you answered a distress call from a certain Mandalorian.

firsts (G)

Din knew it was the best for the kid to go with the Jedi. But on his way back to… he didn’t really know where, there was only one person he would allow to see how sad he really was. 

saved (G)

Being saved during a battle by a Mandalorian might have been faith for Alana and her little daughter Leila. 

my girl (E)

A Mandalorian crashing into your backyard and ruining your business might have been the best thing that ever happened to you.

Watch me (E)

You try to tease the Mandalorian after taking a skinny dip in the lake. He’s not having it.

drabbles:

one day (M)

One day you would get Din out of his armor to swim with you. Today you succeeded... partially

Happiness (G)

Din finds happiness. And his son finds his old armor.

prompts:

" I know we're not together but I might die today so I'm going to kiss you just in case there is no later" (G)

thots:

Din been jealous (E)

The baker’s daughter (E)

Mydra never thought she would end up in the local brothel, but after her father died, and she was too young to take over his business as the local baker, she found herself agreeing to what was proposed to her. So she lived at the local brothel, watching the girls and boys work, observing, until one day she finally would be ready to let one man be her first. That she would form somewhat of a friendship with the Prince of Dorne was as surprising to her as it was to him.

My flower (E)

Falling for the Prince of Dorne after he took you in, letting you work as his maid, was not something you (or him) planned. But when he found you sleeping in his bed, wearing his cloak, you were about to find out that maybe it wasn't just you who had fallen in love.

One step ahead (E)

When you took the job you knew that he might be there. Breaking up with him because of your ego was a mistake. But you were here to do your job. Weren’t you?

Drabbles:

caught (E)

It was a hot day in Sunspear. With the Martell family gone for travels, you wanted to sneak into the royal pool to cool down. Never thinking that maybe you weren't as alone as you thought.

and then the world stopped (E) Part 1 Part 2

Vic wasn’t unhappy when she moved with her husband to Washington D.C. She was happily married, had a new job as a teacher and was trying to get pregnant. But after a year of trying still nothing has happened. She didn’t know that just one accident of the nanny of one of the children in her class was about to change her whole life.

two lives (M)

Dave never planned to cheat on his wife. He never planned to fall in love with another woman. He never planned to live two separate lives. And he never planned to be attending the funeral of the love of his life after their mission went wrong.

second chance (G) (sequel to two lives)

7 months passed since Dave found out the woman he loved didn't die. Would she ever remember him?

disobedience (E)

Working as the babysitter for Dave York’s daughters came with all kinds of benefits. You didn’t mean to become one of those people. The typical cliche of the babysitter sleeping with the father of the kids you were watching but there was something about him you couldn’t stop thinking about. This is also how you found yourself at the only place he told you to not ever visit him, wearing nothing but a coat. The CIA offices.

private show (E)

Monica was struggling to give her two daughters everything they deserved. When Dave York walks into the Diner she worked in one night and offers her a job at his strip club, things begin to change…

Dance the night away (E)

He didn’t look like he could dance Salsa. But oh how wrong you were...

strictly professional (E)

AU: You were tired of handling your boss' affairs. Not because that wasn't part of your job. No. Because you wanted to be his affair. His only affair. And you had a plan for how to get there. Even if it meant blackmailing your boss Dave York.

unusual love(rs) (E)

When your husband Frankie proposed seeing other people while he’s gone for work you were hesitant at first. Until you found just how much he liked the idea of you with another man…

-> love(rs) (E)

Frankie is home and he hasn’t stopped thinking about the video you sent him. Now he wants to watch live. And participate.

found (G)

Dave and you had been friends for 20 years. You watched him get married to another woman and become a Dad, ignoring the constant heartbreak it was causing you cause you were in love with him. Four months after his death you receive a postcard with cordinates. What would you find?

to die for (G)

The man who broke your heart comes back to protect you from the man you were falling in love with.

one wish granted (G)

You could have wished that the man you had loved all your life finally would love you back. It was him granting the wishes after all. Instead, you wished you had never met him. That you really didn’t remember him maybe was the punishment Max deserved most.

Paris (G)

Maxwell Lord left after everything that happened with the Dreamstone. But a little part of you hoped you would see him again.

changes (G)

On your way to your last day at work before you start a new job you almost got ran over by a dog (and a boy). Thankfully a handsome stranger is there to help.

Neighbors (M)

After breaking up with your fiancé you find yourself moving back in with your brother and his daughter just outside of the city. Marcus Moreno is his neighbor and he really does take his neighborly duties to heart. Including taking care of mowing the lawn when your brother had to leave for work for a while.

Yes, Mr. Moreno (M)

With Missy moving out of the house to go to college Marcus felt more alone than ever before. When he met his daughters college roommate at a diner in the middle of the night he made a decision Missy could never find out about

-> Yes, Mr Moreno - The first time (E)

Marcus takes Alice home. She stays the night.

Going back home Masterlist (series)

Claire never thought she would be back in the town she grew up in. But after her fiancé broke off their engagement, leaving her 5 months pregnant and alone she found herself calling Frankie Morales in the middle of the night, one of her childhood friends who insisted that she booked the next flight out. Trying to fix her life with a little help from her friends she would find out soon that going back would be the best decision she ever made.

Distraction (G)

Meeting a single Dad on the plane back to the states was maybe just the distraction you needed to get over your fear of flying. 

Nap Time (E)

Sometimes you and Frankie just need to have some alone time when the kids are napping.

Drabbles

Guy’s night (M)

You let Frankie decide how he wants to end his guy's night...

throwback (G)

Teenage you had bn head over heels for Frankie Morales. What happens when when your best friend takes you out on a double bind date almost 20 years later and your date is no other than Frankie?

Friday's at Frankie's (G)

After a week gone for work you come home to Frankie and his daughter

drabble about Frankie taking care of you when you have cramps

-> Sunday Morning (M)

You wake up in Frankie’s arms on rare quiet Sunday morning.

prompts:

you're sick, and we can't kiss, and it's , fkn, torture (M)

Max Says... (E)

Max remembered your aniversary and planned a trip to New York City. You gifted him the one thing he always wanted. Allowing him to use his mind control on you.

[lovely-angst]

favorite hero

an excuse to write for hawks lmaooooo

word count: 1.5k

genre: fluff

summary: bakugou was on break during his work study, so you decide to pay him a visit. but how would he react when your favorite hero pops in, causing you to go start struck?

12.16.20

-

“Hey, still doing work study?” you ask through the phone as you walked down the streets. You had just gotten done shopping at a pro hero merchandise store, scoring some goodies for yourself.

“Yeah, we just got finished patrolling with Endeavor, so he let us take a break,” Bakugou says on the other side as you give him a hum. “Is it okay if I visit you right now then? I’m just a couple minutes away.”

“Let me ask half and half since it’s his dad’s agency,” Bakugou says before he pulls the phone away. 

You walk towards a bench to sit down at as you wait for Bakugou’s answer. You could hear him asking Todoroki if it was alright for you to visit while the three were on break. 

“Sure, I’d love to see (Name),” you heard Todoroki say, Bakugou barking back at him for trying to flirt with you when Todoroki just enjoys your presence, “I’d love it if (Name) came too, Kacchan!” “Who asked you, Deku?” 

You giggled hearing their banter before Bakugou brought the phone back, “Half and half says it’s okay for you to come, so hurry up before we have to get back to work,” he says and you were up on your feet. 

“Okay! See you soon, Katsuki!” ending the call, you slip your phone away before crossing the street to the convenience store to grab a few items before making your way towards the Endeavor agency.

Just like you said, it took about five minutes before you saw the trio outside the large building waiting for you; Midoriya waving at you excitedly while Todoroki gave you a small smile. Meanwhile, your boyfriend rolled his eyes at them before walking up to you, slipping a hand around your waist. 

“Thank you for allowing me to come during your break, Todoroki,” you say with a smile. “Also, I got you all some water,” you say, reaching into the plastic bag to hand each of the boys some water. 

“Thank you, (Name)!” Midoriya exclaims, accepting the bottle from your hand. “You’re so kind,” 

You let out a giggle, “It’s nothing. You’re all working so hard! I would have gotten some onigiri for you all to snack on, but I didn’t want Endeavor to get upset if you ate something unhealthy on a work study day,” you explain, passing the last bottle to Bakugou. 

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” Todoroki says with a smile.

“Jeez, stop babying them so much, Bakugou says, squeezing the bottle as a streamline of water shoots into his mouth. 

“You went to the pro hero shop today? What did you get?” Midoriya asked excitedly as you glance down at your bag before a large smile crosses your lips. “Oh! Let me show you!” you squeal giddily as you began to jump in place, reaching into your bag. 

“Tah-dah! I got the latest Hawks postcards from his latest photoshoot and I even got a cute little phone charm of him! I gotta replace my old one,” you say, showing the two boys the merch you had bought. Bakugou was not impressed.

“Ah, so you’re a fan of the number two hero?” Midoriya says, looking at you with a soft smile as you nod at him in joy, “He’s my favorite!” 

“Hey, you said I was your favorite!” Bakugou says beside you, offended, “You are my favorite! But Hawks is my favorite pro hero,” 

He pulls his arm away from your waist to cross his arms with an angry frown, he hated it when you went on about Hawks. “What’s so good about him anyway? All he has are his wings,” is what Bakugou would always tell you whenever you gushed about the number two. 

Chuckling, you lean against your boyfriend to comfort the pouty male. “don’t be mad at me, Katsuki.”

“He stops by the agency often these days,” Todoroki informs as you perk up, “apparently he’s been going on a lot of missions with my dad.” 

“Oh, to be able to see him in person!” you cry, clutching onto the small Hawks charm. “Don’t worry, (Name)! One day you will be able to meet him!” Midoriya says and you can’t help but believe him. 

Suddenly, somebody dropped down from out of nowhere beside you, causing you to jump before turning towards whatever appeared beside you and your friends. 

“Heard you kids talking about me. I couldn’t help but drop in to see what’s up,” All eyes focused on the male on the side, beautiful red wings perched on his back. 

“Hey Shouto, doing some work study today under Endeavor again?” he says with a smile as Todoroki nods. 

Golden eyes shift towards yours before locking onto your own. His gaze shifting downwards towards your hands that you had brought up towards your mouth, seeing the Hawks keychain that dangled down for him to see. 

“Don’t tell me you’re one of my fans?” He asked with a large smile, his wings puffed out fluffily as your heart began to pound against your chest.

“H-Hawks! I can’t believe you’re here!” you squeak, hands shaking with excitement and shock. “Can I get your autograph?” you ask and he nods right away, “Of course! Anything for such a cute fan of mine,” he coos, you using all your power to not faint and die in front of Hawks like an idiot. 

Bakugou gawks at how freely the hero was flirting with his girlfriend. Just because he was a pro hero, the number two pro hero, didn’t mean shit! 

“What would you like me to sign, little bird?” Hawks asks, taking out a marker from his pocket as you hand him the postcards shyly, “Oh? You got the latest ones!” he notes with an amused look, “And what would your name be?”

“(Name),” you say quietly. His gold eyes glance up at you before giving you a playful wink, causing you to cover your face with your hands from embarrassment.

“(Name), a lovely name for a lovely fan of mine,” he says, scribbling some words down, along with his signature. “Here you go, dove!” 

“Thank you so much, Hawks,” you say, taking the postcards back, glancing down to read what he had written down. 

‘To (Name), the cutest songbird of mine. 

- Hawks’

You couldn’t help but squeal at the note and the pet name. This day just keeps getting better and better!

“Do you like it?” He asks and all you could do was nod, a large smile planted on your lips. “I love it! I’m so happy, thank you again, Hawks!” 

“Don’t thank me, I should be thanking you for supporting me! It’s always nice to see such adorable fans of mine,” he says and before you can say anything back, Bakugou pushes you behind him. 

“Hey, back off. Just because you’re a pro hero doesn’t mean you can keep hitting on my girlfriend like that. You’re lucky she loves you so much,” Bakugou sneers as Hawks raises his brows, amused.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this little bird was your girlfriend. Better treat her right, or else I just might have to come and sweep her away,” he says playfully, irking Bakugou as you squeak behind him.

Before Bakugou could explode, Endeavor’s loud voice cut through the air. “Hawks! Stop bothering the students!” 

“Sorry, Endeavor! They’re just so much fun,” he replies and you have to rub Bakugou’s arm gently to soothe him. 

Endeavor had come out to retrieve the boys to continue their work study, which meant you were going to be left alone with Hawks, to Bakugou’s dismay.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this little dove makes it to the train station safely,” Hawks says with his friendly smile, igniting Bakugou’s anger some more. Noticing your boyfriend’s hesitation, you quickly run up to him, “Don’t worry, I’ll send you a text once I get home safe, okay?” 

Bakugou stares at you quietly before tilting his head to quickly press a kiss on your cheek, “Make sure to go home right away,” he whispers, pulling away from you to catch up with Endeavor. 

Giving him a small wave, you turn back to Hawks, still shocked to see your favorite hero. “Shall we get going?” 

The walk to the station was a quiet one, for you were too shy to say anything to your favorite hero. Hawks thankfully spoke up for you, “Your boyfriend is definitely something,” he chuckles and you smile. 

“Yeah, but I love him for it. He knows exactly what he wants and he works hard to achieve it,” you respond, already missing Bakugou. “Thanks for walking me to the station by the way,” you say once the two of you had arrived.

Flapping his wings, he smiled, “Of course. Get home safe, okay dove?” Nodding, you give him a wave, watching him turn around and fly off into the sky.

Taking your phone out of your pocket, you decided to send Bakugou a quick text before heading towards your train.

‘You know I love Hawks, but I really love you 1000% more. Don’t forget it <3′

[becomingbts]

Find a Way (15)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: angst-fluff-supernatural-series

Warning(s): deals with suicide and death. If you’re not comfortable with that subject, I suggest you don’t read it. Supernatural au.

3.2k

Summary: “If you accept, you’ll go back in time each time you’ll fail.” “I don’t care, I’ll save her no matter what.”

In 2011, he left everything behind so that he could follow his dreams. Yet, he also left his bestfriend, the one who supported him to go to the auditions, the one who cheered on him, the one who brought him banana milk when he felt down, but also the one who killed herself a day before he finally came back home.

Notes: Hello everyone! It’s been a while since I updated this series, I’m so sorry!! I keep on trying to finalize proofreading and then I get stuck and forget for a while, but I hope you’ll like this new chapter! I plan on trying to make more consistent update as we’re nearing the end of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy it!! Take well care everyone, love you lots!

Admin Dolly

Chapter 14 - here - Chapter 16

Fourth Timeline

"She what?" Jungkook froze, unable to comprehend her words.

"My sister. She died in an airplane crash. She was supposed to come back today from her school trip. I... I was supposed to t-take her home tonight," Jungkook's eyes widened as it finally made sense; it suddenly clicked. The postcard from France, (Y/N)'s sudden departure from work, the fact that no one knew where she had gone... It was all because her sudden departure for Seoul had never been planed this early. She was supposed to leave after work, only during the afternoon to fetch her sister.

Jungkook put his confusion aside even if it finally started making sense; he had to support her, it was more important than him trying to put the puzzle's piece together. 

"A-are you alright?" He tentatively asked even if he already knew the answer to the question.

"How am I supposed to be? The only person that stuck to me my whole life just left. How am I supposed to be alright? I swore to protect her with everything that I had-"

"Hey, hey, hey (Y/N) it's not your faul-" she cut him abruptly.

"I could have prevented it from happening!! I should have told her no from the very beginning when she asked me if she could go on that trip, I should have said no! I could have done somet-"

"(Y/N), it's not your fault, listen to me," she went quiet after his sudden yell, startled. His own eyes had also widened, bewildered by the volume of his own voice, yet he knew that he had to cut her rambling. Self-blaming would not help anyone, her sister would sadly remain deceased. How could she blame herself for agreeing to a trip? Of course, she would agree. Jungkook knew better than anyone else that (Y/N) always had to skip school trips because she never got the means for it. It was a given that she would say yes to her sister. "It's not your fault, you wanted her to be happy and not to miss trips like you did when we were younger right?" She looked away briefly and Jungkook got the confirmation he needed. Even if they didn't speak for years, he just knew her and he could tell that she probably used all her savings for her sister to go. (Y/N) had never had the possibility to go on school trips when both of them were younger. When her parents had died, she received monetary help but never got enough to go on trips with the whole class. The provided financial help was supposed to support her in her studies and for her future. School trips were usually deemed as comfort and not as a  need. Hence, she had always been left behind while Jungkook had made it his mission to take a lot of pictures for her and to bring her back a present from each trip they made. It always made her smile and Jungkook could still remember the way she cried the first time he brought her back a little present. So it only made sense for her to do everything for her sister to enjoy school trips the way she had dreamed to. "You didn't want her to miss on anything like you had to, right? You only wanted her happiness, how could it be your fault when you only wanted to make her happy?" Jungkook took a step in her direction and for once, she didn't move away. However, her teary eyes refused to meet his and she snorted quietly at his words.

"And yet, it only brought misfortune. Her last moments were in a hospital when she should have had a much longer life. Yet, her lifeless body was lying there, leaving me all alone." She smiled bitterly, tears rolling on her cheeks as she finally let her despair overwhelm her. Wincing at the sight of her tears, Jungkook tried to push his own heartbreak aside to comfort her as he closed the distance between them and draped his arms over her small frame, engulfing her in his warm embrace, trying to console her as much as he could. He didn't know if he could help considering their broken relationship, but if he could, at least this one time, be a shoulder for her to cry, then so be it.

"I'm sorry it happened to the both of you, I'm sorry for your loss (Y/N)." He let his hand wander through her hair, bringing her head closer to him as he tried to hide his own tears. "I'm so, so, sorry."

"I was so happy that t-today would be the l-last day without h-her," she nuzzled her nose against the crook of his neck, seeking warmth and comfort even if nothing but the cold wind was surrounding them. Jungkook felt like her warmth was so far away, her own presence seemed to hold no warmth. Nothing was right, nothing between them was alright, she wanted to hate him for leaving, to hit him for destroying what they had, but if for five minutes she could finally have someone, stay close to him, she would pretend. Pretend that they were fine, that he still was her home.

"W-why did you have to leave?" She whispered as reality crashed down on her. Now she was alone and maybe they would never be fine again. Maybe she would never be alright again.

"I'm sorry (Y/N) if I could take it all back, I would."  He mumbled, fully knowing that he couldn't, but he still hoped that he could make it right this time.

"She had promised me that s-she'd never leave me alone as you did." She hiccuped and Jungkook's heart broke at her quiet confession. Her voice was so quiet that he had to focus to properly hear her words as if worried that he would disappear if someone were to hear her.

"And she would have never left if she could have helped it. (Y/N), you were her dearest person. When we were younger, she threatened to kick me out of the house if I ever made you cry (Y/N)," it hurt, and her heart truly had other things to think about but she still smiled a bit hearing his words.

"She told me yeah," Jungkook whipped his own tears quietly before (Y/N) could notice them, "once you left, she didn't even try to keep her hatred for you silent." He sighed with a small smile, imagining well that her younger sister probably didn't try to keep her words sweet, he wondered what she told (Y/N) but he shook his curiosity away.

"Let's leave that bridge, yeah? We should get you somewhere warm, you're frozen." He was rubbing his arms against hers, noting again how cold she was. Hoping that it was only because of the cold, Jungkook let his eyes meet hers and he could see the distance she tried to keep between them.

"I-I don't really want to stay with you, to be honest." She pushed him gently, avoiding eye contact again. She didn't want to sound miserable and neither did she want to sound mean, but the only thought of staying near him suddenly made her shiver. It was hard to suddenly have someone back in her life when she didn't have him for years. She had believed that she would never have him back, and now that she lost half of her soul, she didn't know how to welcome him again. Did she even want to? She wasn't sure, all she knew was that she didn't want for him to be around today. Her head was hurting; she wanted to go to sleep.

"I can understand that," Jungkook's smile slowly vanished as his concern grew. He could understand that she didn't want to spend time with him, yet he still hoped that he would be able to look after her a little longer. However, it didn't seem to be in her plans for now. Again, he totally could understand that as much as it stung, but he still wished that he had more time to watch over her.

"Would you like me to find you a hotel room for tonight? I don't think that it would be wise for you to drive in your emotional state." He asked, already bothered by the idea of her driving. It couldn't be safe for her to drive now. He wouldn't force her to stay with him, but he could always pay for a hotel room for her. He would never mind for her.

"I'm okay... I'll be okay. I... I'll have to. Thank you for... I don't really know, thank you though." She returned her glance as he took her hand into his, rubbing his thumb against her palm, soothingly trying to comfort her. He didn't know how to provide support. She had changed so much and so did their relationship. He didn't know what was okay and what wasn't anymore. Jungkook guessed that he only had himself to blame for that, yet he wished he knew her more so that he could encourage her better. Everything was different from the time she lost her parents and Jungkook felt incompetent to actually help her properly. But he would try his best. He didn't come so far only to give up now.

"I know I haven't been here for the last year's, I've been the shittiest friend that you probably ever had if we don't count Ana-"

"Of course you weren't worse than her, find someone from your size-" she almost laughed a bit as he said the name of 'Ana'. She had been a friend of (Y/N) for some months before she realized that she was trying to basically initiate her to drugs. She had overlooked a lot of red flags for that girl even if she realized rather quickly that a lot was wrong between them. Her sister and Jungkook had greatly encouraged her to cut ties quickly; (Y/N) smiled at the thought. Maybe Jungkook would help remind her of all the happy times she got with her sister before she lost her. She wouldn't let herself depend on him again, but if he could alleviate her pain, even just a little, who was she to take it away from herself?

"Of course I wasn't, thank you for acknowledging that; if you ever tell me that I was worse than her, I would start questioning my whole existence." He smiled back at her, keeping her hands warm as he rubbed them in his.

"You're not that far from her you know?" He almost laughed at her attempt of teasing. Nothing was alright, but maybe if life started being kinder with her, she could start healing. Jungkook would never have the pretentiousness of thinking that he would be her remedy; he had done too much damage already. However, maybe he could be a painkiller. And if he had the opportunity to help and ease her pain, he would do anything for her.

"I'm offended, but I'll act as if I didn't hear that," he smiled warmly at her, "as I was saying, I'm probably the last person that you'd like to contact, but please, come to me if you ever need to. I know I've been shitty. I have gone against everything I always said I'd never become, but I'll try to make up for everything, I maybe won't ever be able to fill up the gap I created between us, but I'll try to be the friend that I've never been, and even if you don't want me to, it's okay, I can bear with us being only acquaintance, I just want you to be happy. I know it's going to be hard, you're probably living your worst nightmare, but please. You're not alone. I can be here if you want me to... If you allow me to. I'm a phone call away, I swear. No more empty promise, I'll make them all worth it. If you don't trust me, I can understand but p-please, just.." he was at a loss of words. He had so much to say and he felt like he wasn't conveying any of it. Jungkook felt like he would never find the good words and he hated it. His promises felt empty even to him, but he meant all of them! He had to get it right, he had to find the words. If he didn't, when would he ever make it right again? However, before he could continue, (Y/N) interrupted him, much to Jungkook's surprise.

"I hope you know that your words will have weight, right?" She asked, unsure of what to say after his speech.

"I know. And I'll bear it this time. Here take this, it's my number, feel free to take it or throw it. Just... Yeah, do whatever you want, the choice is yours, but my words are not empty this time. I mean them. I'm here for you whatever happens." She weirdly still had her hand in his as he gave her the piece of paper he had so carefully prepared earlier this day.

"Did you prepare this in advance?" Her question panicked him a bit, yet she didn't leave room for his answer, "thank you for saying this." She was obviously shaken and he hated himself for not being able to help more. "I should get my car." She finally broke the contact, leaving his arms with a sad smile, and he hoped that it didn't mean that it would be the end. It couldn't, he needed for her to be strong and to go on even if it would be hard.

"Let's meet someday, yeah?" Jungkook hesitated but he asked anyway, hopeful.

"Maybe, yeah." She nodded one last time before leaving, walking away under his warm eyes while he truly hoped that she would be alright. He watched her until she disappeared at the next corner and he finally let out a breath that he had not realized he was holding.

He had broken the loop. (Y/N) was alive, she made it.

Even though her healing process would probably be long and painful, she would at least live, and it was all that mattered. She had his number, the choice would be hers to text him or not. Jungkook prayed for her to take it, he hoped that she wouldn't throw it but he couldn't force her to call him either. He glanced at his phone as he felt it vibrating inside his pocket and he wondered which one of his brothers tried to contact him. However, as he checked his notifications, he already had a notification from (Y/N). Jungkook had already saved her number as he remembered it from the previous timeline, so as he saw her name on his tiny screen, he almost giggled aloud in the middle of the street.

The message wasn't long, nor was it saying that she wanted to see him again. No, instead, she had sent a brief "Hi, it's (Y/N)" but it was enough for him to feel his heartbeat accelerate like crazy, pounding against his chest as he rubbed one hand over his heart in a poor attempt to soothe it down. She had taken on his offer. (Y/N) had contacted him, and even though it didn't mean that they would meet soon or that it was going to be easy to be forgiven or for her to ever trust him again, he would perhaps have a chance and it made him giddy. He couldn't help the smile that grew on his lips. Relief flowed within himself. 

She would make it, he would make sure of it. He had to be there for her from now on. He smiled at the possibilities that he could finally think of without feeling his stomach twist uneasily; he could maybe introduce her to his members, maybe take her somewhere nice for a simple walk at night and other things that he dearly missed doing with her. They could go to restaurants, go shopping, even making tourists things. Jungkook didn't care, he'd break every single rule made by bighit if it included her happiness at the end.

So much was now possible and he couldn't keep at bay the excitement that overtook him. He would treasure her the way she deserved. He would man up and not ruin his promises again.

He had to protect her the best way he could. His eyes shut tightly as he remembered what she told him, the final missing piece of the puzzle. Her sister died, it was so strange to imagine it. She died so young, it was unfair. How could sure a pure soul be taken away so easily? Jungkook had tried to push his own shock away the fastest he could because he had known that she would need someone to lean on, not someone who would break after the news, so he had tried to shake it off as long as he was in front of her, yet the reality was now taking a toll on him. (S/N) died, leaving a broken older sister behind; a sister that would have given her life to trade with her if she had been able to.

Jungkook sighed. The news shocked him too, maybe he had never been close to her, but he saw that girl grow up too. He knew her even though she wasn't keen on him, he still knew her pretty well, and it hurt to know that he would never see or speak with her ever again. He had expected to meet her, to have to explain, to face an insurmountable wall that would be the biggest hardship between him and (Y/N), however, she would actually never be there anymore and the realization almost brought him to tears. He wasn't close to her, but she had still been a constant of his childhood. Jungkook felt like something had been stripped away from him despite him expecting to be less affected. Sometimes, death left an unspeakable void, even when one didn't expect it.

Jungkook could only imagine how (Y/N) felt. She had been her entire world, they used to be a duo, an unbreakable one. Yet, fate visibly had other plans and Jungkook wondered why was life so terrible with (Y/N). He sighed again, rubbing his temples a bit, everything was slightly too overwhelming for him. He tried to relax his mind thinking of (Y/N), trying to remember her small smile. She would be okay and it wasn't a mere detail. He finally broke the loop. He did the first step. 

Or so he thought as he suddenly and roughly woke up, sweating and panting.

Why the hell did he get back to his starting point?

Frozen into place, Jungkook looked around and immediately recognized his room. He suddenly jolted awake, mindlessly looking for his phone to check the date. As he found it, Jungkook got blinded by the screen but his eyes widened as he read the date on his screen. He was back to square one.

29th April.

The day of (Y/N)'s death.

[softomi]

Overdue

prompt:  I know I’m running late – I’m sorry. Things haven’t worked out the way I planned. But believe me when I tell you I am on my way.

- A Postcard by Lang Leav

pairing: atsumu x reader (ft. osamu)

general taglist: @graykageyama

Being the older brother, even if by mere minutes, Atsumu always felt that he had to look out for his sibling. After all, his mother instilled into him that no matter what, he should always be there for Osamu and vice versa. On many occasions Atsumu took that to mean that he could take his stuff, as long as he returns it (which he never does), because after all, they’re brothers.

On other occasions, it meant that Atsumu had to learn to be the first to set his pride aside. He reasons its because he’s the older brother, but Osamu knows that Atsumu is just too clingy to stay mad at his brother for a long time.

But there were many times, many days, many fleeting moments where taking care of his younger twin made him think “I wish I didn’t have a brother.”. Yet, the moment something happens to Osamu, he’s quick to act as the third parent.

“Why are you so stupid!” Atsumu screams at his brother’s back, “You shouldn’t have climbed that stupid tree.”

Osamu turns on his heels, gritting his teeth, “Shut up! You did the same thing last week!”

“Yeah! Well!” Atsumu is balling his fist, their mother entering the room due to the commotion, “What if something happened to you? Huh? Mom would blame me for not watching you!” The young Atsumu begins to blubber, “What if something happened?”

Osamu learned at the young age of ten, just how much being the older brother put a toll on Atsumu. So on their eleventh birthday, Osamu decided to give Atsumu a birthday present.

“I’ll be the older brother this year!” The young boy declares, “So it’s my turn!” He points at his confused brother, “To take care of you as the older brother.” For something so seemingly simple, Atsumu was star struck with the idea.

And every year following, they took turns being the big brother.

They even drew up a contract, the big brother responsibilities contract. As the older brother, you must take care of the younger, you will take responsibility for the younger brother’s actions no matter how stupid, and above all else, the older has to sacrifice things for the younger brother. Signed by both Miya Atsumu and Miya Osamu.

When they were thirteen years old, Osamu took care of Atsumu when he caught the flu. When they were sixteen years old, Atsumu used the last of his money to buy pizza for his hungry brother. When the clock struck midnight, signaling their seventeenth birthday, Atsumu asked for the money back. During their twentieth year, Atsumu took a month off school and training to help Osamu set up his business.

“You don’t have to.” Osamu tried to reason with his brother.

Atsumu lifted a box from the back of the rented van, eyes staring up at the glow of the restaurant sign, “It’s what big brothers are for.”

Osamu stops Atsumu by the shoulder, “We’re not kids anymore, who cares about the big brother crap.”

“I do!” Atsumu scowls.

Osamu realized at the later age of twenty, that Atsumu clings to the title of older brother. As he watches his brother carry the box into his new restaurant, Osamu wondered if there would ever be a point where Atsumu would stop being there for him. But he also wondered, if there would ever be a moment where he could finally grant Atsumu release from the title.

At the age of twenty-three, you waltzed into Atsumu’s life.

Atsumu likes to say that it was a meet-cute. You like to say that it was the day he tried to take your head off. You interned for the Black Jackals as a sport psychologist. On your very first day, as you walked the sidelines towards the coach; you heard a mere shout. You ducked out of reflex, just barely missing the ball as it smacked against the ground behind you. Atsumu jogged with an apologetic expression and a compliment that your reflexes were killer.

Throughout your internship, you refused to go out with Atsumu. Even though the first time you bluntly rejected him, Atsumu says that you never truly said that he didn’t have a chance.

“You said.” Atsumu liked to push your buttons sometimes, “I remember.” He’s got a silly grin on him, “The first time I asked you out, you said ‘Sorry, I don’t date athletes I work for.’” Atsumu looks at the time on his phone, he takes your badge off you, “Your internship is officially over. You no longer work for the Black Jackals. One date, it’s all I ask.”

It truly wasn’t the romantic date. He was shamelessly taking you out to eat at his brother’s restaurant. You were no stranger to his twin but when you two sat in the booth, Osamu coming over to personally take your orders; Atsumu wasted little time in announcing, “Order anything you want, the most expensive item even. My big brother is paying.”

“I thought you were the older brother Atsumu?” You vaguely recall Atsumu mentioning Osamu as the younger twin.

Osamu rests a hand onto his brother’s shoulder, his grip causing Atsumu to yelp, “Yeah, we like to do this thing where every year we switch off being the older sibling. I just can’t wait! For our twenty-fourth birthday. I’ve been eyeing a new set a knives that’ll match the new dish machine I’m planning on getting next year.”

“Hey hey, we promised a limit!” Atsumu shouts.

That was the first date of many and loving Atsumu came easily. He kissed your fingers with eagerness, held you like you were the most important person in the world, and gave you all of his undivided attention. Atsumu followed you like a map leading to hidden treasure that was your lips.

You were perhaps everything he could have ever wanted, everything he ever wished for. For the first few months of the relationship, you wondered why previous girlfriends of his would ever let him go. He reasons that they all said he loved many things, but they were just simply not one of them.

Atsumu knew that when he loved something, he was always there. He attends every volleyball practice, he attends the family Sunday dinners, and he attends your college graduation.

But just like Atsumu had mentioned, he loved many things.

“Hey. Where are you?” You were shivering, hands wrapping around your arms.

“Shit.” Atsumu speaks, “I’m so sorry babe, I was helping Samu pack his things. He’s moving apartments and you know how he is, he does things last minute so I’m making sure he’s starting early.”

“Okay.” You breathe out, “But did it have to be today? This was really important to me.”

“It’s just a gathering. Samu really needed my help.” Atsumu clears his throat, “But if you want, I can head over there right now.”

“It’s fine.” You speak, “Just, next time, be here.”

“Of course!”

Osamu looks up at his brother, “Were you supposed to be somewhere else?”

Atsumu grabs some of the empty boxes, “Yeah, y/n was getting together with some of her friends. Something about introducing me to them I think.” Atsumu’s foot hits some of the book he’s stacked on the floor, “Dammit Samu, how many cookbooks do you need? You’re such a hoarder.”

“You should have gone.” Osamu watches him stack the books neatly into a box.

“Then no one would be here to help you.” Atsumu clicks his tongue, “Mom and dad are out of town, the guys are all busy, even your girlfriend isn’t over here helping; good pick there Samu.”

A book smacks Atsumu on the head, “You’re so stupid!” Osamu throws another book at him, “You ruin my life.”

Atsumu grins, sticking a tongue out to his brother, “You ruin my life too.”

If volleyball was his first priority, Osamu would be his first, first, priority and you concluded, you must fall behind both. That night was the first of many, and loving Atsumu became harder.

“Just go!” You threw your hands to your side.

Atsumu was hesitant, a jacket in his hand, “Look, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” He takes a step to you. You turn your head away when he leans in for a kiss, instead, he presses a slow peck onto your cheek, “Samu just really needs me right now.”

“Yep.” You state bitterly.

“I’m sorry. Happy birthday.”

It’s the last thing he says before he runs out the door. Instead of eating the cake with you that night, he spends it taking a drunk Osamu home, patting his brother’s back as he vomits into the toilet bowl. Even though they were twenty-seven, Atsumu took responsibility to make sure his brother was okay.

“I think we should break up.”

Atsumu thought you were joking, “Hahaha, very funny babe. You have my full and undivided attention.”

“I’m serious.” Your expression didn’t falter.

The cheery sound of the restaurant didn’t match the way Atsumu’s world was crumbling. He was still in disbelief, “What?” He tried to put up a smile, “Stop joking.”

The brief tune of happy birthday is played in the background, the workers clapping along as they sing.

“Atsumu, I just feel like I didn’t know what I was getting into when I entered this relationship.” You were trying to keep him calm, you’ve known him for five years, you’ve loved him for five years; just as hard as he loved, it was hard to let go.

You gathered your things. Atsumu slammed a hand onto the table, “Stop!”

The restaurant quietens, a spotlight on you two as you sit back down, “Atsumu.”

His phone rings. You raise a brow, his brother’s contact showing up. Atsumu picks up the phone, “What?” Atsumu frowns, “Now?” He hangs up the phone, “I have to go.”

You rub the back of your neck, “Of course.”

You two walk out of the restaurant together but you leave alone.

“Samu?” Atsumu walks into his brother’s restaurant, “Everything good?”

“We’re getting married!” The two in front of him wave their hands in his face. It was almost taunting, “I proposed this morning.” Osamu can’t help but stare into his lover’s eyes, “I wanted you to know first before we tell mom on Sunday.” When Atsumu doesn’t answer, Osamu checks the way his brother’s fists are balled, lips in a scowl. Osamu knew the telltale signs, like they were ten years old again, Atsumu was about to break, “Tsumu.”

“Couldn’t this have waited!” Atsumu, quick to anger but quicker to tears, “Couldn’t you just have told me on the phone.”

“I thought you’d be excited to be the first one to know.”

Atsumu uses his hands to push away stray tears, “I have to go.”

At twenty-eight, Atsumu feels as though the weight of the world was on his back. The silence of the apartment was like a gunshot wound and you packing your things shot another bullet into him.

“Let’s talk.” He’s refusing to let you leave.

You set the suitcase onto the ground, “Atsumu.”

“Don’t call me that.” He wants to sound strong, because he has to be strong, “You never call me that.” But he can’t sound strong when it feels like he’s losing everything he’s ever wanted.

“Atsumu.”

The more you said his name, the more it hurt, “I can fix it, whatever is wrong, I can make it better. I can be there more, I’ll stop being late, I’ll clean the whole place for the rest of our lives.”

“Let me ask you something.” He’s hopeful at your words, “If we got married, if we had kids; would Osamu still be your priority?” Your words felt like a blow, “Because I’m okay right now, as your girlfriend, I am okay. I understand that he’s your brother and you absolutely love him to death. You run to him when he needs you and he runs to you. But when I look to our future, why do I still see you running to your brother.”

“We don’t need to worry about that.” He takes your hand into his, “We just have to worry about right now.”

“But even right now, it’s always later.” Palm rested onto his cheek, “I’m sorry Atsumu.”

He holds you by the wrist, “Give me one chance. One more time to prove to you. It’s all I ask.”

Maybe it was the way he was so sincere, just like the day you fell in love with him, “Okay.” His shoulders are lifted when you whisper, “Next month on the 20th, I leave for Tokyo. 4pm. Send me off.”

“That’s it?”

You nod, “That’s it.”

He marked it on his calendar, set reminders leading up to the day and for the days in between, he was there. He was at every lunch, always home early, wrapping you in his arms to remind you of the bliss. But the closer the day got, the more anxious you felt. The more you wondered if he would remember that the 20th was a Sunday.

“I’ll meet you out front.” He kissed your lips, “I promise I’ll be here to send you off.”

You kept your arms wrapped around his neck, “Okay. I’ll wait for you.”

Atsumu was on edge the entire day. He checked his phone constantly; it didn’t help that his phone went off every hour to remind him. Nothing, he was thinking nothing would ruin the day.

“What’s up Samu?”

“Hey, so did you want to take the same car to mom and dad’s?”

“What?”

“It’s Sunday.” Osamu spoke, checking the calendar just in case, “Yeah, it’s Sunday. So you wanna take the same car or what.”

Atsumu looked at the time, four hours until you were to leave, “I don’t think I can make it this Sunday Samu.”

“Why not?”

“There’s something important I need to do today.”

“Okay, but you know you’ll have to make it up to mom.” Osamu sighs, “Her precious boy missing will be like the end of the world to her.”

Atsumu laughs, “Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll see you guys next Sunday.”

At two hours left, Atsumu was prepared to arrive earlier. A bouquet of flowers in his passenger seat as he drove down the highway, ready to greet you, ready to keep you in his life. Then his phone rang.

“Samu, seriously, I’m not coming.”

“Atsumu.” This wasn’t the voice of his brother, it was his fiancée, “We won’t be able to make it to the dinner either, are you sure you can’t go?”

“It’s fine babe, it’s not that serious!” Osamu’s voice heard lowly in the background.

“Not that serious? You’re in a hospital bed.”

“I just bumped my head.” Osamu yells.

“You have a concussion!” She shrieks back at him. Her tone lowered when she turns back to the phone, “Atsumu, you still there? Samu said you had something important to do today and it’s totally understandable if you can’t go to the dinner; but maybe you could stop by the hospital; they want to keep him over night, I could go to the dinner and explain to your parents.”

An hour and thirty minutes until you leave.

Osamu’s fiancée ran out the door the moment he stepped in. Atsumu scowled at his brother, “What stupid thing did you do this time.”

Osamu is happily eating a jelly cup, “Climbed a tree.”

“Of course, what if something happened Samu?” Atsumu lightly pushed Osamu’s head, “You’re so stupid.”

“So,” Osamu tosses the empty cup into the trash, “What’s so important today that you are skipping dinner?”

Atsumu looks at the time, “Y/n is leaving for Tokyo, she’s got some work to do there for a few days.”

Osamu notices the way his brother looks pressed for time, “So romantic, you’re gonna send her off.”

“You’re not gonna die are you?” Atsumu’s leg is bouncing.

“No.”

“This is why I said you gotta be careful Samu.” Atsumu’s phone goes off, he stops the alarm.

“Look, if you need to leave then go.”

Atsumu crosses his arms, “I can’t always be there for you!” His voice was starting to get louder, “I can’t always be responsible for taking care of you!”

“Okay!” Osamu’s growled, “You didn’t have to come here!”

“If I didn’t then who else would be here!” Atsumu began to weep, his lips in a scowl, “I’m older. I’m the older brother, through and through, if I wasn’t there for you, who knows what would have happened.”

“You act like you’re ten years older than me!” Osamu barks, “You’re only 4 minutes older! Stop treating me like I’m a burden! You’re the older brother, so what!” Osamu falls back onto the bed.

Atsumu’s phone goes off again. An hour left.

Osamu looks at the anxiousness in his brother, “Just go.” Osamu waves a finger, “Whatever it is that’s going on between you two, it’s more important than me. Just go.”

Atsumu doesn’t waver, “But.”

“You wanna sacrifice for me, get out of here.” Osamu catches the way his brother’s lips twitch to a smile.

“I’ll bring you back food, whatever you want, just text me.”

Atsumu is running out the door. Forty-five minutes left when he enters his car. He curses when he hits a red light. Fingers finding your contact, your voicemail plays in his ear.

“I’m on my way!” He’s shouting, heart beating out of his chest, “Please, believe me, I’m on my way. I’ll be a little late.” He’s heavy breathing, “but I’m coming.”

Fifteen minutes left but he’s still twenty-five minutes away. You listened to his voicemail, waiting patiently on the sofa. You have to start getting ready to go. You wish the elevators would move slowly, maybe get jammed for a second. Even as the taxi pulls up, you linger outside of the car door.

“I’m sorry, could we just wait a few more minutes.” You say to the driver.

Five minutes passed.

“Do you still want to wait?” The driver asks.

A sigh leaves your, “No.” You were already behind schedule, “Let’s go.”

You stare at your phone screen, hoping for a message from him. The sudden jolt of the car makes your head collide with the passenger seat. Your hand rubbing the throbbing part of your head as you hear the driver yell about a lunatic.

“I’m here!” Atsumu ignores the driver, banging on your window, “See, I’m here.” He’s pulling the locked handle of your door, frustrated that it wouldn’t open.

When you unlock it, he swings it wide open. Out of breath, he’s pulling you by the back of your neck; the kiss making your head spin. Before you can even register it, the sunlight bounces off his fingers; a gold band sitting between his index finger and thumb.

“And I will always be here.”

“Oh my god.” Your jaw is dropping, “What are you doing.” He’s getting on his knee, your breath caught in your throat, “Don’t.”

“Will you marry me?”

Your palms are pressed together, your fingers pressed to your lips. There’s a long pause and you take his hands into yours, “No.” The way his smile falters makes your heart clench, “Not like this.”

“What do you mean? This is what you wanted right?” He holds the ring out to you.

You run a hand through your hair, “I only wanted you here and you did that. You’re here.” You take the ring, settling it against his palm, “That’s all I ever wanted, that’s all I asked.” You pull him by the cheeks, squishing his face with a smile on yours, “You proved to me that you can be here; I mean you’re late but we can work on that.” You peck his lips quickly, “We can talk about marriage another time, but I wasn’t asking you to propose to me. It’s a really cute but very extreme gesture.”

His eyes are brimming with tears, “I thought I’d lose you forever.” Atsumu was truly soft hearted.

Your phone goes off, the alarm breaking the air between you two, “Shoot.” Your hands fall from his cheeks, “I’m late. I don’t think I’ll make it to the train.”

“I’ll drive you.” Atsumu perks up, “Right here, right now.”

“You’re kidding.” You laugh but the thin smile on his face says otherwise, “You’re literally so busy. You have volleyball practice tomorrow, it’s Sunday you’re parents are expecting you for dinner, and what if something happens to Osamu while you’re gone.”

“Practice doesn’t start until nine in the morning, I can make it back if I don’t sleep; my parents aren’t expecting me today, and Samu is in the hospital with a concussion plus he has his future wife. He doesn’t need me anymore.” Atsumu rests a smirk on his lips, “Give me something harder.”

“Wait, Osamu is in the hospital?”

Atsumu blinks, “Yeah, that’s why I was late. Oh yeah, I borrowed this from Samu too.” The ring twirls on his finger.

“You were going to propose to me with your brother’s ring.”

“Hey!” Your gaze shoots behind your shoulder, the cab driver pressing his horn, “Am I taking you or not?”

Atsumu is apologizing to the driver, grabbing your bags from the back of the car, he still pays a hefty tip to the driver for the inconvenience. As the driver leaves, Atsumu lifts your bags with one hand, the other extending out to you.

“Shall we go on a road trip.”

You take his hand, lacing your fingers with his, “But first, we should stop by the hospital; you need to return the ring.”

“You’re right.” He nods, “It’s too ugly for you. You need something big, something grand. I’m thinking diamonds.”

You cackle while settling yourself into the passenger seat. Two hours into the drive, Atsumu peeks at your sleeping figure. His thumb rubbing against the back of your hand. He presses a kiss your fingers. He knew all too well that diamonds would never suit your taste. You were about simplicity, less was more, actions louder than words. How he was going to propose, what ever ring he was going to choose, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was you; that you were with him and that with one phone call, he’d be running to you.

[sweetestlamb]

Mostrami Amore.

Summary: Cha-young tries to move on from a certain mafia boss. 

Author’s Note: Thank for to everyone who sent in prompts for Chayenzo, it resulted in this mess. I don’t have much to say, I considered making this into a multi- chaptered story but honestly I don’t have time for another ongoing story so if this seems rushed it was a little, I wrote it in one go today. Hope you enjoy this, I stuck in some of my favorite crack ship because I am weak and obsessed. Happy reading! 

p.s takes place after final episode but han seo lives because this is my world and I get to play God. 

Another postcard.

Their delivery becomes sporadic and she’s embarrassed at the giddiness that washes over her each time a new square is sent miles across a wide stretch of ocean, the view on the card most likely lackluster in comparison to the true rendering of Malta. She has spent many hours on her laptop searching for images of the small paradisiac island, yearning to see what he sees and feel just a tad bit closer to him. Most of her life has been spent in solitude with only her work acquaintances filling the void at times, so she expected herself to be more equipped to deal with his disappearance and subsequent absence. But nothing prepares her for those moments at the coffee shop, when she finds herself smiling across a table only to realize there is no miniature espresso cup in the hand of a very dangerous Italian Korean mafia member grinning back at her. 

The smile melts off her face and she swallows the bitter cool sludge in her cup, the beverage tasting exactly as he had described it without him there. 

Nights are the hardest, loneliness coils around her like a snake. 

There was never any other fate for them, she knew that when Vincenzo murdered all their enemies this was their only real outcome. He would always be a fugitive on the run and she an accomplice if he were captured and questioned, it was in both of their best interests if he vanished from the face of the planet. But knowing that does nothing to qualm the ever present feeling of isolation that clings to her skin as she sits alone on her couch, downing makgeolli at a vicious pace. Trying to wash his taste from her mouth, that kiss on loop in her mind and the phantom grip of his hand on her neck. 

It’s those treacherous nights without the plaza members that have become a second family to her and Han Seo following her like the lost puppy he is calling her “Noona” so freely and frequently until she forgets her own name, that she allows herself to feel exactly what she’s feelings. 

Heartbroken. 

Desperate. 

Lonely. 

Rage. 

The last one she hides like a dirty secret in the closet of her heart, she knew what she was signing up for. She has no legitimate reason to be angry, or so she tries to reason with herself. But. This was the same man who had bypassed the security of one of the richest men in Korea and ultimately killed him without leaving a trace. She had watched him do despicable things, blackmailing, threatening, seducing, and murdering others as he saw fit and yet, he hadn’t used any of those dastardly ways to see her. That chance meeting at the art gallery had been the last she had seen of him, Then a few weeks later another postcard with the same message she had boldly uttered at the airport, it feels insufficient after having him in her arms again. She knew in that moment that they would never be enough again. She hadn’t even argued when Mr. Nam claimed he would leave this one on his table instead, she merely nodded and walked away to peruse the new sexual assault case she has taken recently. 

It gets harder and harder to hear Han Seo regaling the wonders of his “hyung”,  her anger boiling deep below the surface like magma waiting to explode and transform into something tangible and destructive. 

“He told me that he has a room for me too. I wonder when he’ll let us visit.” 

She nods absently, staring out the window at the sunlight twinkling in through the blinds but then his words register and the gears in her head churn before running the sentence back through to carefully process them. 

“He---what? You spoke to Vincenzo?” 

The human puppy pouts his lips before tilting his head and dealing a hard blow to her ego and her heart, “Yeah, he sends me letters. I got so scared the first time! He said the letter would self-destruct after I read it and I really thought that was true and I dived across the room to escape but I bumped my head on the table and then...” 

He sent Han Seo letters.  

She had received the same fucking postcard for months on end with the same message she had said to him, and he had time to write Han Seo letters. He hadn’t sent her even one in the time he had been gone. 

“That fucking bastard!”  She explodes interrupting Han Seo’s recount of his near death experience and he looks wide- eyed and taken back by her outburst, she almost soothes him before another wave of anger rushes through her veins. She had accepted the bare minimum because she thought this was all he could give her but it seemed she was being too naïve. He was Vincenzo Cassano after all, he could make anything happen. She had seen it with her own two eyes. If he wasn’t reaching out to her maybe that was a message and she was too blind to see it. 

“Noona? Are you okay?” Han Seo looks absolutely terrified, eyes huge and quivering. She doesn’t bother answering, grabbing her cup of lukewarm coffee and stomping out of the office ignoring Mr. Nam’s calls behind her. She’s tired of being an idiot. 

She throws herself into forgetting him, the same way he seems to have forgotten her despite his words to her that fateful night on the stairs. 

I thought about you everyday. 

Actions speak louder than words and she is done accepting his crumbs. She has never needed anyone, had even accepted when her own father wanted nothing to do with her; she has basically been prepping for this moment her entire life. 

So she goes shopping with Miri, buying gadgets that she has no idea how to use but that the other girl makes sound like things that she definitely needs such as a new home security system, her break in still fresh in her mind. She grins at the pretty smile on the other girl’s round face as she explains the specification of the machines around them and she can see why Han Seo has such a huge crush on the girl, the pretty blush that blossoms on the other girl’s cheek after stating the fact out loud is adorable and she pinches said cheek much to her chagrin. 

“You should worry about your own love life.” Miri teases but the words sting like acid on her skin and she turns away to hide the grimace on her face, but she’s not fast enough and the other girl catches her wrist halting her movement. 

“What? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Mr. Cassano?” Miri whispers the last part, looking around to make sure that nobody overhears them. 

She forces herself to stifle her emotions, trapping them in the back of her mind refusing to let him have this kind of affect on her. 

“I wouldn’t know.” She tries for a emotionless tone but even she can hear the bitterness in her own voice and Miri’s eyes fill with pity and it makes her sick to her stomach, “Don’t. I am going to be fine. Let’s just go.” 

They don’t utter single word in the car ride home. 

After that it becomes painfully obvious that everyone in the plaza thinks something is wrong with her and are teaming up to make her feel better. It’s the packed lunches that keep showing up on her desk without fail, her clothes being steamed and pressed for free, the way that they won’t allow her to be alone and there are countless spontaneous family game nights all ending with her drunk and being carried home. 

Tonight Mr. Tak is the unlucky volunteer, dragging her limp body in her father’s house and she thinks of all the times that they drank here together and a certain person was the one hauling her body to bed complaining and grumbling but that distractingly fond smile on his face that he only ever seemed to shoot her way. Her heart thumped loudly as he loomed over her and leaned in close, getting her hopes up only to brush her hair behind her ears and softly tell her, “Go to sleep now,” and she had never been obedient all her teachers could testify to that but when he looked at her like that she was powerless to do anything else but listen. 

“I miss him.” The traitorous words fall from her lips and vanish into the inky darkness of the night. 

A deep sigh from the left of her, “We know.” 

She feels vulnerable, the worst thing about having a weakness is other’s noticing too. She hates how weak she feels. 

“I am going to forget him.” 

The body supporting most of her weight tenses under her arm and she waits for his response, they all love Vincenzo- he had become their unexpected hero and leader in many ways. They would always take his side, she knows that. 

“If that’s what you need to do to be happy. Then, do it. Loving a man like Vincenzo isn’t easy.” 

She turns to look at him in genuine shock. 

“What? You thought I would tell you to keep waiting with no end in sight? You should know by now, you mean a lot to us too. Your happiness is important to us too, we’re a family.” 

“But we’re the Cassano family,” she challenges unable to accept that they could love her without Vincenzo attached, but Mr. Tak shrugs at the clarification, “We can be the Hong Family too.”

She feels her eyes swimming. 

“I should go inside.” 

She feels sober and more awake than ever, she stays up all night twirling the long strands of her hair in between her fingers. 

Thinking. 

Variety is the spice of life. 

She doesn’t know where she’s heard that but it’s those sage words that are the catalyst for her spontaneous decision. 

“Same as always? Silky with some body?” Her stylist peers into her eyes through the wide mirror and she hears herself say, “No I want a cut and some color.” Yu-jin raises one pretty tweezed brow but nods after a moment’s pause, “Okay. How short are you thinking?” 

And that’s how she starts her day with long thick hair that grazes her lower back and ends it with a short bob that tickles her neck. It feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulder, metaphorically and literally and she loves the face that she sees in the mirror, her eyes looking brighter than they have in months. She feels more alive, like a snake shedding its skin and becoming a newer and fresher version of itself. 

“Your hair?” That becomes the running theme for her day, shocked gaping mouths and hands reaching out for the hair that was once there.  She merely smirks at their palpable surprise, especially Seol-jin who doesn’t recognize her from behind. 

“I haven’t seen a pretty lady like you aro--Oh Ms. Hong! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you, I am so sorry please excuse me!” The interpretative dancer bolts away leaving her to watch him bemused, she skips to Jipuragi with a pep in her step laughing loudly when Mr. Nam drops his coffee upon seeing her and the brown liquid goes flying and douses him in a sticky hot mess. 

It’s an entertaining day to say the least. 

Moments later when he’s finished cleaning himself up and changing into the cheetah print track suit that he insisted to keeping in the office, he mentions that a new postcard has arrived. She nods at the information, looking at her laptop and it’s only seconds later that she finally looks up and sees that he’s waiting for her response. She doesn’t have one. 

Forcing a tight smile on her face she replies, “Oh that’s great. Just put it with the others.” 

He does. 

But she can feel his eyes on her, his concern heavy and tangible in the air. 

She pretends not to notice and keeps clicking away on her laptop, only glancing over at the card once or twice. But it’s only out of habit. 

Nothing more. 

She starts going on dates with random men. Men she meets in coffee shops, on the streets, in bars, hell one time even the bookstore. She never meets the same man twice and they never get what they want but it does make her feel desirable and that’s all she’s looking for. 

“Where are you going?” Han Seo asks her curiously, Miri by his side as she struts out the plaza new perfume on her skin. 

“On a date. I’ll see you both later.” They both gape at her and can only watch with wide eyes as she sashays away, heels clicking with every step. 

Word spreads like wildfire and no one takes it harder than Mr. An, who calls her a “jezebel” and cries at the front of the law firm for hours, she has to step over him to go get lunch shaking him off when he latches on to her ankles. 

The others just look at her with sad eyes, filled with both understanding and disappointment. 

Much to her surprise the lunch boxes keep coming and her clothes are still pressed and starched to perfection though. 

She also starts taking self defense classes, Korea is much more dangerous than she had first suspected and she has to be able to protect herself because nobody is coming to save her.  Not anymore. 

It becomes a great outlet for her built up anger and her instructor praises her for being a fast learner. She grins and nods before flipping him and twisting his arm around his own neck in a modified sleeper hold. When he taps on her arm she squeezes tighter instead of letting go and he goes limp for a moment before she comes back to herself and releases him hastily with a quick apology, “Sorry!”

He rubs his neck, panting for air and she feels guilty, there's a tinge of that but most of all she feels powerful, more so than she has for a long time. 

It’s crazy but she finds herself asking him for drinks after class and even crazier is that he agrees even with her marks still there on his skin, the area bruised and red. He looks at her like she’s challenge that he wants to conquer, she lets him believe that’s possible. It’s only a bit of fun anyway, she has no plans for anything serious. 

Drinks turn into a drunken cab ride home with his hand on her thigh, hot through the thin material of her tights and they don’t feel right- too small and not rough enough but she’s moving on and she has no time to reminisce. 

There hasn’t even been a postcard lately. Message, loud and clear. 

When she shoves the keys into her door, he’s glued to her body leaving wet kisses on the long column of her neck and she tries to suppress the nausea that swims in her stomach, everything feels wrong and she hates herself for feeling that way. Why shouldn’t she fuck whoever she wants? He is probably doing the same thing, everyday on his beautiful private island. Kissing women that aren’t her and whispering dirty Italian words into their ears as he rocks back and forth, nary a thought of that Korean woman he knew once upon a time. 

Fuck him. 

She rocks back into the purposeful grind of the hips behind her, feeling the hardness that digs into the soft flesh of her ass and finally the door opens and they both tumble in haphazardly and he thrusts a hand under her loose shirt fingering at her breasts before a dark figure moves far too quickly in her peripheral and she hears her date cry out in pain. 

She almost faints at the familiar sight of the one person she never expected to see, the hard glint of his cold eyes as he twists the same hand that had just been fondling her chest. The grip looks painful, the wrist contorted in an unnatural manner. 

“What the fuck? You have a boyfriend?!” Her instructor cries out, voice high pitched falling to his knees as Vincenzo kicks his feet out from under him. 

She rolls her eyes, of course he would come now when she is trying (and failing) to get over him. 

Vindictively she answers the question, ‘No.” 

But that makes Vincenzo twist the wrist in his grip even tighter and she can see the bones breaking so she takes pity on the poor man, he didn’t sign up for a murderous mafia leader after all. 

“Just let him go. You have no right to do any of this.” 

He doesn’t listen right away and absently she wonders if she’ll need to test out her new moves on him, it would be satisfying to deck him square in the face. She dreams of that as often as she dreams of their reunion. Her feelings are...complicated to say the least. 

Then with a grunt, he throws the other man away like he’s trash and growls out, “Get out of here before I kill you.” 

She tries not be get turned on by that. But it’s a hard sell, her body already getting revved up. He’s telling the truth. 

The man wastes no time, jumping to his feet and bolting out the door without one backwards glance. Asshole, he was really just leaving her with a clearly unstable and dangerous man. 

“We need to talk.” Vincenzo squeezes out between clenched teeth, and her blood runs cold but she stares him dead in the eyes tired of this game they’ve been playing, if he’s here to end things she wants to know. 

“Okay. Then talk.” 

She looks insanely beautiful, with her hair cropped so short bringing his eyes to the tantalizing length of her neck. His eyes close in on a spot of moisture on her neck, he feels his blood boiling imagining that bastard touching any part of her.  She’s glaring right back at him, her chest rising and falling and he can’t help but check her out, it’s been months since he saw her in person the photo of her doing aerial yoga above his bed couldn’t compare to the tempest that is Cha-young in real life. 

The flat plane of her belly is on display under the white crop top loosely stretched across her chest which leads down to her slim hips and legs wrapped in white spandex, leaving very little to the imagination not that he hasn’t imagined her in far less many, many times. Too many times to count. Spilling across the silk adorning his king sized bed with only her name on his lips. 

She looks fucking hot. 

That makes it even more frustrating because he can still clearly see that bastard wrapped around her like a snake and his hands going up her shirt---he has to take a deep breath before he breaks something. Or chases that asshole to break his face. 

There’s so much he wants to say to her, so much he owes her. 

I missed you. 

I love you. 

Come with me. 

“Who the hell was that?” He says this instead then watches her eyes glint over into nothing but pure murderous rage. Wrong move. But he couldn’t help it, green eyed raged taking away his decision making abilities. 

“That’s all you have to say? Get out.” 

He wasn’t expecting rose petals and trumpets when he returned but he definitely wasn’t expecting this, her cold glare or another man in his spot. He thought she would wait for him, just as he had done for her. 

“Are you serious right now?” He counters, flabbergasted. 

“Deadly. Get out.” 

He clenches his fist, and then stomps out. Turning back but only to watch the door slam in his face. 

What the hell. 

It had only taken a letter from Han Seo to get him on boat that would take him to an open field and hours later he was soaring through the skies on a hot air balloon, on his way back to Korea. It was insane and he barely had time to explain to his family but Luca nodded at him like this was the only choice and told him that he would take care of everything, and he trusted those words more than he had ever trusted anything in his life.

“Vai a prendere la tua donna( go get your woman).” 

He had nodded, gruffly patting the other man on his shoulder before hopping over into the waiting boat. 

But he wasn’t so certain anymore that Cha-young was his. 

She seems different. Colder almost, she leaves whenever I mention your name and she goes on dates now. I think she’s moving on hyung, what are you going to do? 

Those words had been the scariest thing he had never seen. Scarier than every gun that had ever been pointed at his head. He thought what they had was something special, something that could stand the test of time and distance. He stared at the huge pile of letters on his bedside, all addressed to her. He had written one everyday since they had been separated, but each time he was too much of a coward to send it. In those letters he could say things that he could never say to her face, things like how much he ached without her by his side and how her smile was the only thing that kept him going. In those letters he could regal the ways he loved her, and how deeply she had been branded into his soul, every atom of his body belonged to her and her alone.  He would kill for her, die for her, anything she needed or merely wanted he would provide it, all she needed to do was ask. 

He could only share those feelings in the letters. 

He walks for hours, until he ends up at his old apartment the familiar door greeting him and he sticks his hand in his pocket before he remembers that he gave the key away, with a sigh he starts to walk away before the door creaks open and he hears a voice he hasn’t heard in months. 

“Hyung!” 

A warmth spreads across his back as a solid weight almost knocks him off his feet. He reaches one arm around his body, awkwardly slapping the face that is pressing into his collar. 

“You really chose to stay here.” 

He feels the nod on his shoulder, “Of course. It made me feel closer to you hyung, I missed you.” 

He grunts in response, before turning around and tugging the younger man into a real hug. He had missed the annoying little leech too, he had missed everyone. 

They are still in each other’s embrace for a moment before Han Seo pulls away, sympathy etched deep on his face. 

“She wasn’t happy to see you.” 

“There was someone else there.” He hates the words even as they leave his mouth and Han Seo winces, looking pained for him before tugging him into the small apartment. Everything is just like he left it.  He looks around in awe. 

“I’m sorry hyung. What are you going to do?”

That’s the golden question, he pondered it all the way here and he’s no closer to knowing the answer to that. Usually she is the one that makes the move, she has always been the brave one between them. He back steps and says things he doesn’t mean and she sees through him and smashes down all his walls. That’s how this has always worked. 

“I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave her alone. Let her be happy.” 

A loud scoff reaches his ears, “Sure. Is that why you sailed across sharked infested waters and trusted a hot air balloon company run my former thugs?”

He smarts at the sarcastic reply and glares before flicking the cheeky brat on his nose, "I liked you better when you were stupid you know. Now you're a little smart ass."

The younger man looks even more youthful as he grins back at him, rubbing at his nose before shrugging.  "I learned from the best."

He has no rebuttal for that so he tries to flick him again, giving chase when he darts off.

It feels good to be home.

He warns Han Seo not to tell anyone that he's here least they give away his location.

So he's not surprised the next day to find the cavalry at his doorstep hands filled to the brim with containers of food. There are tears, mostly from Mr. Nam who won't stop screaming his name and pinching his cheeks to see if he's real and Mr. An who wraps around him like a koala despite his very detailed threats. It's all chaos and so familiar that his heart aches but her absence is like a hole in his chest. Nobody mentions her but they all keep looking at the door, so it's obvious that she was invited but chose not to come.

Because she didn't want to see him.

"You're here to win her back right?" He doesn't know who even utters the words but when he glances up they are all looking at him expectantly.

He didn't know that was what he was indeed here for thought that she would happily welcome him back and they could pick up where they left off but she's made it clear that this won't be the case. This will be the most important fight of his life.

"Yes. I'm here for Cha-young."

He gets enthusiastic thumbs up and a loud giggle from the Yeon-Jin  and Cheol-Wook’s adorable baby, her little hands too uncoordinated to do a thumbs up but she waves excitedly  feeding off the energy around her.

He wonders how Cha-young would look with a baby in her arms, their baby it's a dangerous thought. But one that he can't get out of his mind once he thinks it.

They stay until midnight, forcing him to eat and drink too much soju until he passes out to dreams filled with a round Cha-young, belly swollen and protruding from her body. 

It doesn't take much to learn her schedule(Mr. Nam hands him a laminated copy) and he has to put on a disguise but he enters the shop seconds after her, hearing her order that god awful sewer water she's so fond of.

"An espresso for me." He leans in too close, almost brushing her shoulder and she jolts at the sound of his voice, turning to stare at him as if she's a mirage.

"You're still here?" She whispers and then shakes her head and looks away as if she's hadn't meant to say the words aloud.

It hurts him that she thought he would leave without telling her but he can't blame her, he has been anything but consistent. Instead of answering, he leans forward to hand his credit card to the cashier who glances between them suspiciously before accepting the card.

Their orders are ready in seconds and he follows her as she walks to their table, butterflies in his stomach at the familiar sight.

She turns to him with a glare, "It's just the only available table."

He moves to pull out her chair and she starts at him tight lipped before sitting down. She's in a tight black suit today, two long slits on the side of her pants going all the way up to her thighs. He gulps down his drink to get rid of the drool pooling in his mouth.

"You're upset with me."

She stares at him like he's the biggest idiot on the planet, it's not a look he receives often but she's always the outlier in his otherwise organized life.

"Astute observation." She quips back, sucking loudly at her coffee.

"Why?"

He considered how to go about breeching this subject and in the end had decided on going straight to the source, he had been under the impression that this was working for them.

Her face morphs into a person he hasn't seen for a long time, the Cha-young that would berate him and make him angry enough to curse in Italian.

"Do you think this little of me?"

He's completely lost, "What do you mean? What did I do that was so wrong? Wrong enough for you to cheat on me!" He's panting now, his voice has gotten loud enough to catch people's attention he can feel them watching their table, nosy and invested.

"Cheat on you?"

Cold as ice, her voice is. It almost makes him shiver.

"How could I possibly cheat on you? We're not together. You send me the same postcard with the same message every few months. I have no idea what you're doing in Malta, who you're with. You can't even be bothered to send me a letter, do you think this is a relationship? You think it's enough to pop up like this every once in a blue moon? You've told me nothing about how you feel about me but I'm supposed to be satisfied with whatever you throw my way?"

If he wasn't sitting down his legs would have already given out he's certain about that. Her voice is deadly quiet each word landing and chipping away at his confidence.

"I'm doing the best I can! You knew it would be like this after everything was over, why are you blaming me now? How about you, I don't know how you feel either!"

"I love you! Anyone with eyes can see that, I told you that at the airport too. And again when I took a bullet for you, you didn't think that meant I loved you? I was willing to die for you."

Shit.

It's not at all how he expected them to confess their love for each other, it's hard to believe the words that are coming out of her mouth as she bares her teeth at him.

"So why are you doing this? Why are there other men?"

Why aren't I enough? He wants to say but he's scared of her answer, terrified that she'll say that she can't do this anymore. That he just isn’t enough anymore. 

She stares at him long and hard.

Waiting for something. But he doesn't know what.

"You haven't changed at all. You're still a coward, I'm not interested in guessing anymore. I’m done playing this game.” 

She stands up and walks away, leaving her unfinished coffee on the table.

Unwanted just like him.

She doesn't see him for days and she accepts that her words had done their damage, she had cried until she fell asleep that night. Waking up with swollen red eyes that no amount of concealer would save but thankfully no one commented on her state.

She goes through her day on autopilot and before she knows it she's back home, ready to face her night alone  again. She pushes the door open, half praying he'll be waiting for her but her hopes shattered when she turns on the lights and finds no one.

"It's better this way." She lies to herself, pouring herself an obscene glass of soju. She's going to need plenty of alcohol to get through this pain.

Her head is woozy and heavy when she hears a sound, suddenly alert she stills in her chair before rushing over to get a frying pan walking on the tips of her toes she prowls closer to the clicking sound, finding herself at the window peering at a long lost friend. Placing the frying pan on her window sill she pry opens the window, screeching when the audacious bird flies inside landing on her table as if he belongs there.

"Hey Inzaghi! Get your dirty bird feet off my table!"

He looks at her nonchalantly, making himself comfortable on said table and she sighs before shutting the window and drunkenly swaying over to him.

"What are you even doing there? Do you want to be my bird now, I won't be a very good owner. I won't remember to feed you. I barely remember to feed myself."

Despite being a bird he finds a way to roll his eyes at her before standing up and only then does she notice something on his leg. She looks at him cautiously before moving closer and untying the paper on his leg, the pigeon barely reacts before flying over to her couch. She sighs in annoyance, she's going to have to clean everything after this bird leaves.

She unwinds the string holding the paper together, unrolling the paper scroll. There is a message written inside: the rooftop. 9 pm.

Glancing at her clock the time shines at her.

7:34pm.

"This could be a trap."

It very much could be, she has enemies now. It was a small price to pay for taking down Babel but she's always looking over her shoulders now, so this note could easily be someone luring her to hurt her or get back at Vincenzo.

Inzaghi coos loudly at her as if he can hear her thoughts. This time he finds a way to look exasperated.

She stumbles off to her room.

She needs time to think.

"So she told you that she loved you and you didn't say it back?"

"I was shocked. She was growling at me and looked ready to kill me at the same time." He reasons back, trying to show his hyung his point of view. The younger man doesn't look even a little bit convinced by his logic.

"Okay and? That sounds perfectly normal for you too. You should have shot someone and wrote it back in their blood on the table."

He recoils in disgust at the suggestion, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you actually insane, why the fuck would I do that?"

Han Seo stares deadpan in return.

He puts up a hand trying to stop whatever response he has, "Don't say it."

It doesn't work.

"Pig's blood. Don't forget I saw it all, I've never seen Ms. Hong look so excited before. You're both crazy."

Well, that had been different. It was an old tradition, she simply had an appreciation for the classics.

"And I bet you're defending her right now in your mind. Noona is just like you, that's why you're made for each other. She's the gasoline to your fire."

"You know that would just make an even larger fire right?"

"Yes. I'm smart now remember? I know what I said."

He sighs falling into the comfortable familiarity of the couch, a spring digging into his thigh.

"Why didn't you say it back?" His stills at the barely whispered question, his chest constricting as he recalls the passionate confession. He had frozen, like he'd always known she was the brave one between them. Always doing the unexpected and the time was no different, her words had knocked him off his feet.

"Because I was scared."

Han Seo huffs at his honesty. He doesn't know where the words are coming from but he's tired of keeping it all in.

"Because if anything happens to her it'll break me, I thought it would be better if I kept her at a distance. I thought this was enough. I thought this would be easier. When I think about her I want to drop everything and just be with her and that...was too dangerous. I had to keep my distance."

There's a pregnant pause, just the sound of their breathing filling the void.

"Was it?"

"What?"

"Easier. Is this better? Enough?"

He thinks about Cha-young getting married to a faceless man, exchanging vows and sealing it with a kiss, happy and in love on their honeymoon wanton moans and screams from their room, learning that they're having a baby and her round and glowing with someone else's child smiling brightly as she rubs her belly and it's too much. He wants to smash it all into little pieces.

"No. It's not enough. I need her, without her nothing is enough."

"That's what you should have said to her. Don't glare at me I'm right, but I have an idea. I saw it in an American cartoon."

And that's how he lets his younger brother convince him to send a note to Cha-young using Inzaghi, the pigeon had shown up one night and he'd been so happy he almost kissed the bird.

"How will he know where Cha Young lives?" He asks skeptical even as he ties the note to the birds leg.

"I showed him a picture of her house. According to the cartoon, birds just know.” 

He stares at the younger man, wondering why he's listening to this ridiculous plan.

"This is stupid. I should just text her, Inzaghi is never going to deliver this. He's just a regular pigeon." 

"This is more romantic." He answers matter of fact.

"How is a pigeon delivering a message in anyway romantic?" He challenges already knowing from the shit eating grin he won’t like the response. 

"The same way pig blood was." The brat counters and he doesn't get a chance to respond before Han Seo picks Inzaghi up and throws him out the window, "In the name of love!" He only barely stops himself from bashing his head into the wall, the younger man has to wrestle him to the ground.

It's stupid. They did all of this for nothing the cool breeze makes him pull his coat tighter around his body, exposed to the weather on the open space of the rooftop.

He checks his watch, 9:48.

She's not coming and the worst part is that he doesn't know if it's because that damn bird never delivered his message or if it's because she really doesn't want anything to do with him. The burden of not knowing hurts more than anything.

Expelling the air in his lungs he walks back to the single door that leads off the roof, twisting the doorknob in his hand and pulling it open.

Meeting the shocked face of one Cha-young.

They both just stare at each other before he speaks, "You came."

He can't believe it. Inzaghi had actually delivered the note, somehow the pigeon had found her house and she was here. He almost pinches himself to see if he'd passed out on the roof and this was just a dream.

"I didn't know Inzaghi was a carrier pigeon." She futilely tries to change the subject and he takes a step back, gathering the tattered pieces of his courage. The same courage that had propelled him to kiss her all those months ago on the stairs.

"I'm so happy you're here. I waited for you."

She stares at him like he has two heads before blushing, and avoiding his eyes.

"Come with me." He extends his hands and tries not to be too hurt when she bypasses it and steps around him instead.

At least she was here.

With a quick swipe of his hand he sends the message to his accomplices.

Now.

The lights come on, fairy lights decorating the roof top in a heavenly glow. She spins around in wonder, eyes nearly as bright she's so beautiful it's almost painful to look at her.

Then the music starts.

The soft notes filling the space.

When I walk down a road I don't know well....

She looks around in wonder, staring back at him she can’t believe what’s happening. 

Then the letters start falling from the sky, all the letters he had written to her alone and missing her thousands of miles away. His plaza family smiles down at him, throwing letters from a higher building.

Cha-young stares up at the sky in surprise, hundreds of letters landing all around her.

It had taken a few days for Luca to send them all over and then another day to get the guts to do this, there was no turning back now. He had never willingly made himself vulnerable to anyone else, but according to Han Seo it was the only way he was going to win her back. 

“She just wants to know that you love her too. Show her.” 

He watches anxiously as she picks up a letter, stroking lightly at her own name on the front looking at him with stunned wet eyes. 

“You wrote me a letter.” Her voice is revere and awe that he doesn’t deserve, not after everything he has put her through in the sake of protecting himself but he’s too elated to see her looking at him like that again, like he’s someone important to her. 

“182. For each day we were apart. I told you I thought about you everyday, and every time I did I wrote you a letter.” 

She stares at the letter in her hand, gently ripping it open and devouring the words on the page. Nerves shoot up and down his body as he watches her read his most private thoughts about her, her expressive face for once empty of emotions as she silently reads the letter. 

He waits. 

Breathless and terrified. 

“Why didn’t you ever send them? They were mine so why did you keep them?” He hears an edge in her voice that makes him wonder if she’s only talking about the letters. 

“Cha-young, I don’t think you understand.” 

She breathes out loudly, stomping over to him until they are inches apart and he has no choice but to look into the deep pool of her eyes. 

“I don’t! I don’t understand anything, I thought you had found someone else in Malta and the postcards were just your way of being nice. I thought you didn’t feel the same way I did, you were sending Han Seo letters but you wouldn’t do the same for me. What was I supposed to think? Why didn’t you try to help me understand, you were gone for six months!” 

There’s so much wrong with everything she said, how could he find anyone else when his heart beats for her? How could he forget her when everything he did reminded him of her, he saw her every night in his dreams. But he doesn’t make the same mistake this time, he says what’s important. 

“I feel the same way. I love you Cha-young. I thought this was better for you, that this could be enough. But I was wrong, I missed you every minute of every--” 

“Come home with me.” 

He stops, stares, gapes and then stares some more. 

“What? I wasn’t finished confessing though.” Actually offended that she interrupted his planned speech. He was about to recite one of his favorite Italian love poems for her and then ask her to dance. 

She rolls her eyes dragging him towards the door, “Don’t you think we’ve wasted enough time? It’s been six months and you have been here for too long, you have to go soon.” 

She’s right, he has a flight in two days for an identity he borrowed for his escape. 

“Listen to her, just go back to her place and have a good night!” That sounds like Cheol-Wook and then they all erupt into applause and start cheering and hollering, chanting their names and then to his embarrassment they start chanting, “Go have sex! Go have sex!” complete with the monks banging on their drums and he doesn’t think he will ever live down this moment, especially when he sees Miri capturing it on the new video camera he had gifted her. 

He flips them off as an eager Cha-young pulls him away their laughter following them all the way. 

The car ride is too long on the way over and she wonders how quickly she can undress them both as soon as they reach, there is simply no time to waste. 

But once they get to the doorstep he suddenly freezes, tugging her backwards into his chest. 

“This looks familiar doesn’t it?” His voice is dark and smoky and she immediately knows what he’s referring to, and she refuses to give him any reaction. 

“Are you seriously doing this right now?” 

“You let someone else touch you. Here.” He runs a hand up her neck, briefly squeezing, “And here,” she gasps at his hands suddenly on her breast, squeezing harshly at the tender flesh. 

“So what are you going to do about it?” She knows that she’s playing with fire, but that is their foundation. She has never aimed to cool him off or tone him down, she sees the dark side inside of him and loves it, encourages it and feeds on it herself allowing it to bring her darkness out too. 

He kicks the door open, shoving her side and she delights at the rough treatment. She hopes that she is filled with his bruises tomorrow. 

She doesn’t wait for his next move, pulling her shirt up and over her head before tugging off her skirt leaving herself in a barely there lace panties and a matching lace bra that is translucent, her nipples peeking through the sheer material. He stares at her transfixed, his hunger evident in his eyes and in the tent forming in his tight dress pants. 

“Take those off.” She commands and he smirks before obeying, peeling the pants off his thighs standing in his button down shirt and tight boxer briefs that leave nothing to her imagination, every delicious inch of him visible. She steps forward bringing their bodies in contact, before thrusting her hand inside the opening of his briefs. He feels hard and smooth, liquid pooling at the tip and she twists her hand collecting it to ease her slow strokes up and down. His voice hitches as she fingers his balls and without warning she tugs his boxers off, leaving him bare to her eyes. 

Mesmerized by the unencumbered sight of him, she drops to her knees using her hand to guide him to her eagerly waiting mouth. 

His flavor explodes on her tongue and she swallows more, grabbing his hips to drag him deeper into her mouth until she can feel him in her throat, but even after her eyes start to burn and she feels herself choking she doesn’t stop, bobbing up and down hungrily, sloppy wet sounds filling the room in a filthy symphony. At first he lets her control the movement, pliant in her hands but as she increases her speed and suction he starts groaning and huffing loudly and then she feels his hand on the back of her hand, keeping her in place and when she looks up at him he looks wrecked. Eyes dazed and his face red and flushed, she ingrains that image in her mind, for when he’s gone and all she has are her toys. 

She stares back defiantly before he draws himself out of her mouth, a single line of spit connecting them and then he thrusts back into her mouth roughly and she opens her mouth wider to accept the abuse, loving every second of it even as a her throat aches. He sets a frantic pace, his balls slamming against her chin and she doesn’t realize at first that his grunts have transformed into words, too much blood rushing to her head. 

“Mine. Mine, nobody can---ah fuck! Nobody can see you like this. Only me. You’re mine.” 

He fucks her mouth like it’s his to use and do what he pleases, and she’s wetter than she’s ever been listening to him claim her verbally and with the wet push of his dick in her mouth. 

She starts grinding on the floor like a cat in heat and without preamble he grabs her under her armpits and lifts her like she weighs nothing, his dick sliding free from her hot mouth, “I want to make you scream.” He says this like a declaration of love and she throws herself at him, kissing the words off his lips. His tongue swirls in her mouth and she wonders if he can taste himself in her. It makes her hotter and she grinds her barely covered pussy onto his naked length, groaning at the friction even though the thin layer separating them. 

He tosses her onto the bed and she doesn’t even remember them walking, his tongue and his wondering fingers had completely distracted her. 

She lays sprawled across the bed as he stares at her, like she’s feast he can’t wait to devour. 

“Nobody has been in here.” She doesn’t know if he’s asking a question or making a statement, but she feels that his jealousy is real. Seeing her with someone else had done something to him, guilt washes over her. If she had seen him with someone else she would have lost her mind too. 

“Nobody. I never brought anyone home before, that guy was a mistake. I was just hurt and missing you. I’m sorry.” 

He had abandoned her for six months and she didn’t owe him anything but his pain is her pain and they are stronger now, everything has been said. 

“Good.” 

Then he rips her panties away and buries his face between her legs, prying her wide open with his hands and lapping at her with his searing hot tongue. Immediately he has his wish and she screams, loud enough to fill the entire room. 

“Already screaming amore? It’s going to be a long night, I want to make you hoarse.”  

She doesn’t get a moment to respond before he’s back to licking and sucking at her most sacred part, fingers deep inside her as he thrusts and strokes alongside his tongue, his fingers and tongue moving in tandem and she tries to stifle the scream but a particularly deep fuck makes the sound erupt from her throat and her head feels dizzy from the overwhelming sensation. 

He has boundless energy it seems, as time drags by and she feels her body tightening up as he systemically destroys her, he never takes a break or pauses, slurping up all the liquid that drips from her and the sounds of him swallowing are beyond erotic. When a hand runs up her stomach and squeezes at a bouncing breast she can’t contain her moans of pleasure, crying out as his fingers pinching the tight bud of her nipple. 

“Please.” 

He coos in her, “So pretty when you beg.” Then he sticks his tongue as far as it can go and she hears the rush of blood in her head as her body shakes apart and her release gushes from her body, twitching when he laps it all up her oversensitive body recoiling from the overstimulation. 

She has never come like that before, most men have never put in the work necessary to make her come and she wasn’t one to fake it so her experiences with sex with someone else were few and far in between. 

This feels like nirvana. 

“You still with me amore?” The bastard looks so smug, looming above her naked arms on the side of her head, and she had no idea when he took his shirt off. 

“I can’t feel like my legs.” 

He chuckles loudly at the statement, grinning growing wider. 

“Well I can assure you that they’re still there and they will look great wrapped around my waist.” 

Raising to his challenge, although her body is still buzzing she wraps her legs around his waist, they feel like jelly but she finds the strength to follow through with her movement. 

“I was right they do look great.” 

“Well this would look great in me.” She counters, grabbing at his thick ruddy red dick jutting from his body and he rocks into her hand before knocking her hand away and taking himself in his hand. 

“Do we need a condom?” He asks her, looking like he is ready to stop at nay minute if she tells him that they do. 

“No.” 

She has been on birth control since she was a teen and there’s been no one for her since she met him, and she trusts that it’s been the same for him. 

“Thank goodness, I want to feel everything.” He barely finishes his sentence before he’s easing into her, slow and steady. She lets him continue for a moment before she tightens her legs around his waist and pulls him in roughly, as deep as she can get him in this position. “Fuck, you’re so impatient.” 

“Shut up and fuck me already.” 

He grumbles at her calling her bossy, but she sighs when he draws out and slams back in with a quick snap of his hips. 

“Yes just like that!” 

He takes direction very well, repeating the motion until the bed starts to creak from their movements, he pistons in and out of her gone all semblance of gentle or slow, they have teetered into a speed that can only be defined as “break neck” and she feels her body sliding up the mattress as he pounds into her over and over again, she latches onto his neck eager to leave a branding mark on him and he groans at the suction, grinding harder into her and gripping her ass to force her to meet his vicious thrusts. 

Absently she feels him peeling her bra from her body, the only remaining item of clothing that has survived their coupling and she knows exactly when he sees the scar. The grotesque knitting of skin that had left a permanent scar on her shoulder, she almost covers it up but when she peels her eyes open he is staring at her mesmerized. 

“Don’t look.” 

He leans down to kiss it, the softest more precious kiss she has ever received in her life. 

He peppers more kisses all over, then strokes at it with a single finger. 

“I should have realized, this was your confession. I was an idiot. I will never be that stupid again, I love you so much. I would do anything for you. Anything.” 

He puts her legs on her shoulder, nearly bending her in half before resuming his thrusts but they are less frenzied now, it feels like lovemaking. Her eyes prickle when he kisses her scar with every downward thrust, whispering, “Beautiful, so beautiful. Every inch of you.” 

She cries out. 

With every thrust he kisses her scar, making her feel lightheaded and naked. 

When he moves them into a new position, her back to his front giving him better access to her scar, she loses herself as he whispers sweet nothings into her ears and litters the spot with warm kisses. 

She falls off the edge with his lips on her scar and him deep inside her, warm bursts filling her up before leaking out onto the bed sheets. 

“Today’s our last day.” 

Waking up next to him is torture, she tries not to ingrain that in her mind but it’s too late it’s already there. He blinks away the sleep in his eyes at her words and then nods solemnly in agreement. 

“Yes for this visit. But I’ll always come back for you.” 

She smiles brightly, “Don’t keep me waiting for too long.” 

They don’t leave the bed except to get breakfast and that ends with her laid across the kitchen table getting taken from behind after teasing him. He can’t seem to keep his hands off her new hair, twisting the short strands in his hands and yanking on them. She catches him looking at her heatedly more than once. 

Then they wind up in the shower, trying to clean up and getting dirtier instead, his hands tight in her hair and around her waist as he hoists her up to pound her into the wall. Making up for lost time. 

They get messages from their entire family, Vincenzo showing her a message from Han Seo asking if he’s going to be an uncle soon. She promises to embarrass him in front of Miri very, very soon. 

Both pretend they don’t feel the day fading away, bringing them closer to their goodbye. 

Tomorrow he will be gone again, but there’s no guessing now. She knows what she means to him now and that’s more than enough. 

She wakes up to an empty bed and a ticket to Malta, the ball is in her court.