#ableism experience

[uncanny-tranny]

Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[classicslesbianopinions]

the other thing about being disabled in academia is everyone is like "yeah we can't do much about the buildings they're old :/" as if "old" being a synonym for "inaccessible" isn't just a constant reminder that the people who built the school did not imagine that someday someone like me might study there

[clownrecess]

(Tw for ableism, meltdowns, elopement, etc.)

Hi, I am currently in an argument with someone in a comment section because they are saying that autism is not a disability. So I decided that I want to make a post about it, and thoroughly talk about it.

If you do not know me, hello. I am an autistic primarily nonspeaking teenager with mid-high support needs. I'm disabled.

I am honestly very tired of low support needs autistics saying that autism isnt disabling, because it very much is for me and a lot of other people. Just because your experience isnt the same as ours, doesn't cancel out our experience.

I will never live alone. I am a teenager who can not make food, or blow dry his own hair. My ability to use oral speech varies a lot, and when I can use it, I usually end up having severe meltdowns from it. I am in special ed. It hurts when I brush my hair. I have put myself in danger by running into the street. My emotions are extremely strong, so I often seem rude when I'm not, I just can't control the fact that when I feel something it's so incredibly strong that it hurts. I have little to no internal sensation. I could not bathe myself until I was 9 or ten, and even now I will not just go and take a shower myself; I need someone to tell me to, and I need a visual schedule to help me do so. And many more things.

The person's response was to then say that is not because I am autistic, that is because of the way mankind is. That my autism is not disabling, society is. And whilst I do agree that society is horrible to disabled people, and it would be much much easier to exist as a disabled person in this world if society was different, that doesn't change the fact that my autism is disabling. Me being nonspeaking is not because of society. Me being unable to care for myself is not because of society. Most of the things on that list are not because of society!

Just because low support needs people exist, does absolutely not give them the right to speak over us, and tell us what our experiences are or are not.

My autism is disabling. Listen to me. Listen to me. My life has been severely impacted because I am disabled. You can not sit there and tell me that me being unable to care for myself, and unable to live alone ever, isn't disabling, and that it's because of society.

I am disabled. Stop speaking over high support needs autistics.

[maidofmetal]

i got a fucking parking ticket while i was in the ER for having an expired fucking disabled parking plaque all cops are fucking BASTARDS

[giritina]

I just read maia crimews great article on the BRG tiktoks and felt vindicated to see the dog whistles called out for what they are. There are tons and tons of angles to analyze this from but I wanted to talk about the anti schizospectrum ableism. I get these videos on tiktok a lot and they're the biggest example I can think of of the aestheticized ~schizoposter~

I just want to highlight to people who might be thoughtlessly using the word schizo because it's becoming sort of memetic lately that this is the kind of person who started that meme.

People on 4chan and in alt right circles know that schizo is a slur and use it as such. But now they realize applying it to the self is a great way to normalize this edgelord shit while ostensibly being sort of "anti-ableist" or pseudo leftist via the framing of it as reclamation. People start out being minorly edgy, thinking they're joking about universal stereotypes people apply to the mentally ill, but it's a useful dog whistle for a reason.

I want to emphasize that you can't reclaim words that don't apply to you. Schizospectrum symptoms are real and that slur applies to real, specific people. The "schizo", a delusional, paranoid person, is not a trope formed from thin air. Learn about us and be our allies in the fight for disability justice and you'll be better for it. It'll be easier to spot this kind of shitty rhetoric even when it's disguised as harmless memes.

[angelboybreakdowns]

ppl will say “i hate being seen with you in public because you stand funny and wear your headphones all the time and talk too loud” and then get all defensive when you say thats ableist

[justepilepsy]

Okay uhm - I need to say this because I am noticing this a bit in the responses to Somerton's "Apology" video. Do people really think, just because ableism in the workplace is forbidden, that workplaces don't discriminate?

Even if insurance stuff covers your health issues, I won't put it past an employer to let you go with the made up argument it doesn't. Because non-epileptic people are generally very uncomfortable with seeing seizure activity and some of them will prioritize their comfort over sticking to anti-discrimination laws.

I think Somerton's video is full of BS, but I am even more uncomfortable with how happy people are to dismiss Somerton's medical history/symptoms, just so they can argue against him. As if people with disabilities can be absolved for being dicks by accepting their stated medical and discrimination history.

When you don't even have to do so to point out the harm Somerton's logic does?

I mean - I think it's warranted to question James' statements because of his complicated relationship with telling the truth, but I am just kind of bothered by how people argue "this could not have happened because laws/policies" No. Let it have happened. It makes his apology worse if you choose to believe him on this, trust me.

If our response to disabled people acting terrible (stealing other people's material and presenting it as your own), is to accuse said disabled people of lying about their symptoms and diagnosis, I think we are missing the point and problem.

[arctic-hands]

Sure you may be able-bodied, but is your body ABLE to shut up when disabled people talk about our experiences?

[uncanny-tranny]

The leftism/anticapitalism leaving people's bodies the zeptosecond you imply that disabled people who aren't "productive" still matter in society and need to be treated like intrinsic equals who have a place in this world:

[nando161mando]

[jaybird3756]

Things that people say and do that really upsets me as an autistic person

• not realizing my support needs change from day to day

• sarcastic remarks and snide comments when I become more or less verbal

• “You weren’t like this before/ yesterday/ last week”

• persistently pestering me when I’m hyper focused, want to be alone, or am overstimulated

• “Why are you so rude?/ Why are you being mean to me?/ Do you not like me anymore?” This is an attempt to guilt trip and make my autism all about them

• “Take off your headphones” Like bitch I need those because every little noise is hurting me

• “Stop doing that (stimming) you look like a (r- slur)”

• taking away stim toys/ devices

• forcing me to make eye contact or talk to people. Some days I can do this and sometimes I can’t; it is not up to anyone else to decide when these times are

• “why can’t you do school/ work like you do your special interest?” Incredibly rude, all I hear is how you don’t value what I can do and demean anything I like to do as worthless

[interstellarsystem]

Cofronting with your in-system partner is very nice because you get to just. Be there with them but different because you're in one body. I'm cuddling in headspace with him while he's got main body control and is scrolling through Pinterest and it's almost like we're in separate psychical bodies in a way. But it's closer in a way too? It's hard to describe but I think in-system relationships should be acknowledged more and not just treated as cringe or lesser.

People (usually outside of system community groups but not always) feel like they have a judgemental vibe towards in-system partners even if they accept other aspects of systems with open arms. Like it feels like some see it as sad to "have no one else". I'm poly and I have an in-system partner and an out-of-system partner and I don't see either of them as lesser because guess what? They're both people, within my system or not. I don't "have no one else", I love both of them a lot and I wouldn't trade either of them for the other.

Having an in-system relationship like that can be so... Healing, too. Like not only are they there a lot of the time compared to out of system partners so you have more support but you get to have such a close bond with someone in your own brain. And considering you have to share the body, I'd rather be friends with my headmates at least so it doesn't feel like I'm stuck at a horrible office job for the rest of my life. Dating someone just means you're closer to another aspect of your system and really it in our experience makes us feel more... Unified when there's complex positive relationships between us. For some systems it's actively a part of healing from trauma to get to be friends or at least tolerant of your headmates and sometimes it leads to dating which can be a huge benefit whether you're going for functional multiplicity or integration or anything. Of course it's not the only way to heal, that would be silly to even imply, it's just... Really not a thing that should be so looked down upon.

It's not cringe to "only be able to get with your headmates" because they tend to know others in their system better than most people outside of it on the basis of sharing a brain and being aware of things like inner thought processes. For some people they'd even prefer to only date their system members and that's great and shouldn't come with the sentiment of "they can't get with anyone else, that's sad".

[anti-transphobia]

Random reminder that I HATE Plushie Dreadful!! Those mental illness/disabilities plushes? Typically rabbits? There's been a lot of criticism over them about ableism in the past. Personal feelings about disorders being marketed, formerly partnering with Autism Speaks, etc. But one thing people don't seem to notice is the ableism towards schizophrenics, narcissists, and antisocials! This site with a bunch of beautifly designed rabbit stuffed animals decided to make the schizophrenic and antisocial plushes noticably creepier than most others. The antisocial one at the very least came out cuter than the concept art. But the schizophrenic one is openly based on serial killers. And NPD? The official Twitter account made a poll about what the design should be, made degrading comments about narcissists, and liked comments by people making fun of narcissists. In the end, in order to not make the npd plush TOO special or unique looking, made it a plain brown rabbit with a paper crown (openly saying it's because pwnpd aren't actually special or deserving of a real one). When contacted by pwnpd with criticism/feedback, like they say they accept, they ignored it

Ableism towards disorders people find "scary" or "bad" is still ableism!!! It's still shitty!!!

[magnetothemagnificent]

Non-ADHD and non-autistic disabled people whose only idea of ADHD and autistic people is shaped by media depictions of a nerdy white boy or a quirky goth girl with low support needs: "Yeah ADHD and autism are destigmatized and we should ignore people with ADHD and autism in favor of real disabilities. I am very smart and progressive."

Lateral prejudice towards other disabled people will get us nowhere.

[ejbuckley]

tw/ bullying, ableism

one of the most heartbreaking things about my late autism diagnosis is realising that i wasn’t bullied for my looks - as i always thought. i was bullied for being autistic, for the way i reacted to things and acted. i grew up hating the way i looked and tried so hard to change myself. it wasn’t until the manic pixie dream girl phase that people were nice to me, it was all ableism and that’s devastating.

i will never forgive the world for that.