#absurd place!!

[alternativeulster]

we really are doing it like nobody else though. no other country in the world could have train-based catholic oppression

[sentient-forest]

#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023

[i-hate-charger-mains]

I played the Splatoon 2 story mode again and i think these two have a very funny dynamic

[family-trauma]

[koshka-sova]

tom scott would absolutely fit in arknights by virtue of how detailed the worldbuilding is in this game. yes this is just about the "im at X" thing he does every video.

"im at an abandoned amusement park in chernobog-"

"im in sami"

"i am about to cross a road in nuova volsinii"

"i am in vyseheim-"

"i am still in sami"

"i am here with dr kaltsit-"

"im at rhine HQ"

"im in front of a shop in county hillock"

"i am here at the ursus-higashi border-"

(loud voice bc windy) "IM AT THE FIELD OF FORGOTTEN WATER"

(whispering) "i am inside the mansfield state prison"

(shouting) "I AM ABOUT TO ENTER A KAWALERIELKI MAJOR ARENA"

"im at the entrance to gran faro-"

"im on a train to kjerag-"

(in kazdel, somehow) "i am here with dr kaltsit again-"

"i am in the golden city in sargon!"

"im at the iron carrot mining platform-"

"i am in laterano-"

"im at the obsidian festival"

"i am in front of the lgd headquarters"

(talking abt zeruertza) "im on top of a city"

"i am at mount hymnoi"

"im in calaisblason-"

"i am back from sami."

"i am in dossoles!"

"im in one of the naval battalions heading towards the sea"

due to how on-the-nose arknights is about real life inspirations, the tom scott of terra would be a feline. BUT it would also be funny if it was a team rainbow situation

[beaulesbian]

[voilaammayi]

John Hamish Watson at any given moment:

[maple-seed]

My husband knows that I write fanfiction, but he doesn't know what I write and has never read any of my writing. However, my husband is not stupid and immediately knew what character my stories were about. 😂

The thing is, he is convinced I'm writing a longfic romance between Loki and the Tenth Doctor because, again, he is not stupid and is aware of my tastes. 🤣

Any time he sees me typing on my phone or laptop he assumes I'm writing fanfiction (he's right maybe 50% of the time lol) and he has taken to dropping into a dramatic voice and narrating a short scene in this fic he's sure I'm writing.

I told him he should write them down but he refused, so I'm doing it for him. These snippets are non-sequitur, unpolished, and generally do not have anything more to them than what you see here.

Enjoy.

The Doctor reached out to touch Loki's cheek, but he vanished, it was only an illusion. "Just as well," he thought, "I have Daleks to fight."

The Tenth Doctor glared at Dalek Sec and said "Dalek Sec? I'd rather be having sex!"

Moses threw his staff onto the floor and it turned into a snake. The children of Israel rejoiced and went off to do something else. Once everyone was gone Loki turned back into himself. The Doctor stuck his head out of the TARDIS and said "Can we go now??"

I plan on saving as many of these as I can for posterity, so if you don't want crackfic snippets on you dash, which were not so much written as they were rambled, then block the tag "Mr. Maple's Fanfiction".

[alienoriana]

We were growing, time was going so fast Without knowing, we were growing up fast We were lying down, in the shade I remember the love we made We were lying down, on the bed I remember the tears we shared

[arrimorr-otgw-spam-blog]

I'm so sorry

[14dayswithyou]

PSA ! Because apparently putting this at the top of all my recent posts isn't enough:

DO NOT LIKE OR REBLOG MY POSTS UNLESS YOUR AGE IS DISPLAYED IN YOUR BIO, OTHERWISE YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. READ MY PINNED POST BEFORE YOU SEND IN ANYTHING, OTHERWISE YOU WILL BE IGNORED. DO NOT CALL ME OFFENSIVE SLURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIKE HOW I ANSWERED A QUESTION, OTHERWISE YOU WILL BE REPORTED. BUT ABOVE ALL, MINORS: DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR MY COMMUNITY, OTHERWISE YOU WILL BE BLOCKED AND IGNORED AND BLACKLISTED.

Please learn some basic human decency and respect every Tumblr user's boundaries. They're put in place for a reason. And please understand that every blog is different: the very least you can do is scroll through a few posts to understand the general vibe and fandom etiquette before you jump in to send your questions.

Also!! Just because I allow certain things on my blog, it doesn't mean that you can do the same on somebody else's blog as well. Every community is different, and certain things might not be okay to say or do in others. Just because one creator lets you discuss darker content on their blog, doesn't mean you can do it here.

Be kind and give everyone the respect you deserve.

[waywardted]

I love meeting people's moms. It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts.

[putting-kinger-in-places]

me when i accidentally post one of the queued posts early (got too excited to type about silly book)

[nostalgic-muffins]

thirteen x mc x satan double tap now if you

[sysig]

Don’t be silly! Okay, be a little silly (Patreon)

[odinsblog]

Some things you CAN’T do in America if you’re a convicted felon:

Vote

Serve on a jury

Own firearms

Receive public assistance (food, housing, education, etc)

Certain employment (job discrimination)

Maintain parental rights

Bear Arms

Become a police officer

Lose voting rights during and after incarceration

Travel abroad

(source)

Things you CAN do in America if you’re a convicted felon:

Run for president

Win, and presumably still be president while serving your prison sentence behind bars

(source)

Obviously this is not meant to be a comprehensive list, and some of these things may vary widely from state to state—but CONSTITUTIONALLY speaking, the “can do” list is 100% accurate

And this also isn’t me agreeing with all of the “can’t do” exclusions either

Formerly incarcerated people are still human beings who are deserving of food, housing, gainful employment, higher education, and health care—not to mention common decency and respect

It’s just crazy that Trump could still become president even if he were convicted