#abuse denial tw

[compassionatereminders]

The other day was "narc abuse awareness day" and I had to see so much BS and ableism against us (those w NPD) and shit about how we "can't be hurt" (perpetuates abuse against us) calling us "inhuman" and literally giving advice on how to abuse us and it's just ?? Disgusting to see people talk about how it's fine to abuse us cos we can't get hurt and are just so evil :/ this is literally a disorder caused by trauma in the vast majority of cases!!! I've been personally accused of lying about my abuse because of my NPD and in fact had my abuse justified BECAUSE of my NPD by my abuser so it's just :/ fucked up

No like I HATE the "narcissistic abuse" awareness because there are zero abusive behaviors which are actually exclusive to people with clinical NPD. Like you can SO EASILY talk about emotional abuse and psychological abuse and guilt tripping and love bombing and gaslighting without acting like only people with a certain mental illness are ever guilty of such behaviors.

[conditioned-to-obey]

"I can fix her" I can lay her down on an altar like a soft spring lamb and sweetly slit her throat. I can watch her smile to herself as she lulls into the warm familiar embrace of a gentle, sleeplike death. I can devoutly relish the honeyed last breath of something pure. I can use her spilt blood and still heart to resurrect her, just to do it all over again.

[br3akm3]

some pretty bruises i've collected <3

[crows-talking-place]

(tw for gillion backstory stuff and curse stuff, check tags if unsure. stay safe also spoilers up to ep 97.)

still not over the thing where gil casually mentioned he had "divine health" so physically couldnt get sick. (ep 11, 57:52).

the implications, man. someone hug him please

also in retrospect it makes the whole gillion curse arc like a bazillion times worse. because the entire time he denied there was a problem, acting as if nothing was wrong until he physically couldnt hide it anymore, which is bad enough by itself, but this tells us why. that it was a learned behaviour. he didnt want to worry anyone because it had been drilled into him that being sick wasnt something that should happen. that it was a weakness, one that he shouldnt have. he was supposed to be better than this.

so he pretended he was okay.

it was all he had ever been taught to do

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart, Chapter 15

On Ao3 All chapters

18+ MDNI

I've been trying to show that they do like Y/N, but they also take what they want from her. I hope this makes it a little clearer.

I think Y/N's behavior is understandable, especially given her background. Marco is essentially doing good cop / bad cop to her, and it's working.

You were in utter agony. Thatch and Ace had been eating you out for what felt like forever. You had stopped squirming around, allowing them to position your body as they pleased. You didn’t have the energy for anything beyond screaming, cursing, pleading and begging for them to either leave you alone or to let you come.They took turns bringing you to the brink and letting you down again, never achieving what you so desperately wanted. Ace was experimenting with his fire power and heating his tongue for extra sensation, which added a new dimension of frustration. You were sloppy, wet, and sore and just wanted this all to end.

At some point your body couldn’t take any more, and you passed out in between their sessions. You felt your body being carefully wiped down with a soft towel. You were so over sensitized that even the towel made you jerk away. You were picked up and carried somewhere by large hands, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were placed in a bed, covered up, and you fell asleep when your head hit the pillow.

You came to a while later, unsure where you were. Looking around, you recognized it from before as Marco’s room. You looked around, and saw the pirate himself reading in an armchair. He looked up at you, and gave you a smile. You were unsure of what was happening, and the uncertainty made you nervous. Were you forgiven? Was he still mad? Were you in more trouble? You sat up in the bed and waited for him to tell you something, lest you get yourself into more punishments.

“How are you feeling yoi?” 

“Um, bad?” You were hesitant to answer, but you didn’t want to lie.

“Mmm. That’s not surprising. Come here, I want to talk.” Marco put his book down and gestured for you to come to him. You got out from under the covers and gingerly walked over to Marco. You already guessed where he wanted you to sit, so you carefully climbed up onto his lap. You were rewarded with another warm smile. He linked his hands around your waist.

“Y/N, I want you to know that my brothers and I care about you yoi. It may not be directed in a way that you are enjoying, but we’re trying to help you. You…aren’t mentally equipped right now to care for yourself. It’s not your fault yoi. You were under severe duress and torture for years, so it makes sense that you are still in survival mode. But, you don’t have to survive anymore, do you understand?”

You nodded but were also biting your lip. You understood what he was saying but weren’t sure what this had to do with all of them denying you an orgasm you desperately wanted. You decided to agree with him for now.

Marco sighed. “I don’t know if you understand why we’re so concerned. You need time to recalibrate back to any kind of normalcy. Your coping mechanisms helped you for so long, but you don’t need them anymore. You don’t have to do everything on your own. You don’t have to be afraid to sleep, or eat, or be anxious when you’re unproductive. We don’t need you to do or be anything beyond yourself. We want you to feel safe here with us, not have to constantly live in fear. We all want to help you move beyond some of your past so you can be happy again.”

You didn’t really know what to say. On some level, you knew Marco was right. You didn’t need your coping mechanisms anymore, and you needed to readjust to a more normal lifestyle. You weren’t sure how to set about doing that on your own, since your anxiety and fear controlled you. But their way was such a jumbled mess of kind actions, meaningful words, and dubious sexual contact. All mixed together, it left you bewildered as to what you needed or wanted from these men. You stayed silent on Marco’s lap.

Marco reached behind your neck and took off the necklace. You looked at him mutely.

“Your punishment is over now. It’s late, and time for bed. Tonight you’re with me, so we’re staying here. Would you like a cup of tea?”

You nodded, still not having said anything. 

“What are you thinking, Y/N,” Marco said as he cupped your cheek with one hand. He gave you a soft concerned look, and paused for you to speak.

“I don’t…I don’t understand what’s going on.” Marco tilted his head and patiently waited for you to continue. 

“I feel like…this is all so much for me. I want to be normal again too. I don’t know if I c-can be. I’m not try-trying to be bad. I don’t wa-want to be punished anymore.” You couldn’t help it, tears falling down your cheeks. He swiped them gently away with the pads of his fingers.

“I know you can be normal again, and you’re working so hard. You’ve come a long way already. I’m proud of you, and I know my brothers are too.” You cried harder at his statement and turned your face into his chest. No one said words of praise like that to you. You hadn’t heard anything like that since you were a little girl, and even then it was sparing. Even though he had tormented you hours before, you lapped up his praise. He let you cry on his chest and stain his shirt with your snot and tears. Marco rubbed your back soothingly with his chin on your head until you wore yourself out. He then picked you up and placed you on the bed.

“Did you want the tea?” He asked. You nodded. He went to go make it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marco POV

Marco wasn’t lying. Generally, he didn’t lie. Sure, sometimes he bent things a little, or omitted information, but he wasn’t a liar by nature. 

Everything he said to you was true. He did want you to get better. He was concerned for your physical and mental health, and he didn’t think you could accurately see yourself right now. He wanted to see you flourish into the woman he knew you could be - had been - and enjoy what life had to offer. He wanted to protect you, help you, and encourage you to shine. He had no doubt you would thrive with them behind you, pushing you out of your comfort zone. They would reward and praise you for all your achievements, whether big or small.

And yet…you also awoke something feral in him. Something protective, possessive, dark, and jealous. He did want you to feel safe- safe with only himself and his brothers. Yes, he was being a little manipulative, but it was all in your best interest even if you couldn’t see it. He wanted to keep you, no matter how selfish that made him. You belonged with them, and only them. You couldn’t protect yourself, that was obvious. But they could. They needed to keep you safe and protected, no matter what. You were a little bit of softness they could keep with them, and you needed to want to stay too. 

And even though your distress and agitation - both physical and emotional - bothered him on some level, he had enjoyed punishing you. He enjoyed dominating you, and forcing your submission. He relished the time he spent between your legs, tasting your divine heat. He delighted in turning you into a squirming, twitchy mess under his ministrations, begging him for release. He loved hearing you sobbing his name, beseeching him to let you come. He relished hearing you screaming when his brothers had their turns. 

All of these things were true at the same time. You were meant to achieve great things, you were meant to be theirs, and you were meant to be mastered by them. You just needed to see that. And this was the fastest way to show you.

Y/N POV

You were still quiet when Marco returned with two cups of tea. He handed you one, and you took it, blowing on the hot beverage. You drank it, thinking about what Marco had said to you. It was hard for you to gauge what of your own behavior was normal and what wasn’t. All your habits gave you a sense of safety, but when you really thought about it, maybe Marco was right. You drank your tea, and handed the empty mug to Marco. 

Marco set the mugs down and padded over to the bed. He got in on the other side, and blew out the lamp. Like Thatch, he pulled your back to his front, but not as tightly. You were wearing clothes, so you felt a little more comfortable. 

“I know you don’t like the dark yoi. And there’s not much moon tonight. But I thought this might help.” Marco’s arms lit in beautiful flickering blue flames. You gasped - it was so incredible to see up close. You reached out to touch his arm, looking at him to see if he would allow it. 

“Go ahead. It doesn’t burn.” You tentatively held out a fingertip and stroked the fire. It had a unique texture, like it was halfway between a feather and a flame. You stoked his arm for several minutes before you realized what you were doing.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, placing your hand down on his arm.

“No need to apologize. It feels rather nice. You can continue if you want.” You didn’t stroke his arm anymore, but you did watch the flames dance in the darkness. You felt relaxed, being held by the bright blue flames.

“I’m going to ask you something, but I don’t want you to feel compelled to say yes. Your punishment is over. Would you like to come? It’s your choice.” 

You looked up at him - you hadn’t expected that at all. You thought he was going to hold your orgasm above your head until…well you didn’t know what.

“You’re not going to stop? You’re going to let me come?”

“Only if you wish.”

You thought about it. You were still sore and spent from earlier, but the idea of ridding yourself of the pent up sexual energy you’d had simmering for hours was appealing. 

“Ok.”

“Are you sure? We can always wait.”

“No, I want to. Please.”

Marco POV

See what a good girl you could be with a little encouragement. You were already asking him so nicely to come. He had initially thought of forcing you to come over and over after denying you for so long. But that could be another game for another day. Right now you were feeling out of sorts and lost from his change in demeanor. He knew the rapid changes from enforcer to concerned lover were confusing for you, but everything had its reason. You needed a little bit of tenderness, and you’d feel more secure.

“Turn to me, Y/N,” he whispered to you. You turned over, looking up at him with those guileless eyes he loved so much. He was still producing flames, which charmed you. He gently moved your head to the side so he could fan your neck with his breath. His hands gently stroked up and down your side, as he brought gentle kisses up your neck to your ear. He turned your face and kissed you with slow passion on the lips, allowing you to kiss him back.

“M-marco I can’t take much of this, I’m already so worn out.”

“I know, love, I know. We’re almost there.”

He knew you didn’t have much more in you, but he wanted to enjoy the sweetness while he could. He dipped his hand into the waistline of your pants and stopped.

“Do you want to come on my fingers or my mouth?”

“Ah, I think…I think mouth?” You were blushing a deep red. Even saying something so basic could make you feel embarrassed. It was rather cute. 

“As you wish,” Marco said with a grin as he moved down the bed. He put a pillow under your hips and shimmied your pants off. He used his hands to open you up and keep you that way. You were still puffy and engorged from earlier, which was a wonderful sight. He didn’t want to keep you waiting, so he dove right in. In a few short strokes of his tongue, you were already close. He added two of his fingers into your tight channel, which had your pussy spasming. He could feel your cunt gripping and sucking on his fingers, trying to get more. He found your g-spot and started rubbing it gently. You moaned loudly and thrashed your head. Your legs were twitching and trying to close on his head.

“Ah, ah, please Marco, please keep going, please don’t stop,” your head was thrown back and your eyes screwed shut. 

“Eyes on me,” Marco ordered. He was sucking and licking and fingering you and wanted you to see it all. You opened your eyes and watched him. He intensified his efforts and watched you fall off the edge. You tried to keep quiet, but weren’t able to completely stop yourself from making noise. He drew out your orgasm endlessly, letting you ride the high until you started pawing at him to stop touching you. He desperately wanted to overstimulate you, but now wasn’t the time. You were sleepy and calm, drifting away in your own mind. He turned you back over, facing away from him, and brought you close to his chest once again. After a few moments of silence, you picked up your head suddenly.

“But what about you? Don’t you want…something?”

Oh. You were being a very good girl. And good girls get rewarded. 

[ghxst-system]

90% of our denial hinges on whether our mother will believe us

our abusive mother.

who didn't even notice we were being bullied daily.

wtf.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

I think I should be allowed to tell people to kill themselves

[opheliasam]

it wasn’t the incest show nor was it the secret destiel show it was actually a secret third thing that is truly . So much worse

[suncaptor]

I am also obsessed with like. How Alastair is personally involved with Dean in terms of deep job satisfaction and Dean being an Important One. but meaningfully Dean doesn't mean much to him. Like he is a job to break. He is something Alastair just. Succeeded at.

But also To Dean He's known Alastair longer than anyone. He feels completely fundamentally shaped and changed by Alastair. Which is like. As opposed to Sam and Lucifer where Lucifer had overtly romanticised and has personal reasons wrapped up in Sam, Alastair is more just, working in the mechanisms Lucifer created. AND to avoid pain and to be taught Dean DID need Alastair's personal approval. So Dean has all these incredibly complex feelings for someone who he isn't really that significant to in comparison.

So he's like. Reflecting back this sort of position John's filled. And it's so interesting in that Alastair had probably also even known John longer than Dean has. Alastair knew John first.

[bugflies00]

sorry to ask you this. i can't tune in the stream

i just wanna know if they're confirming it's wilbur or being vague about it. it doesn't matter much either way at this point, but still

they're choosing not to say names but anon even sootrhianna was in chat talking about how similar things were said to her (the "women arent funny" thing). they outright said they didn't want to name them because they were genuinely scared of these people and their influence, but they believed they were dangerous. its confirmed in everything but name

[compassionatereminders]

So I had a discussion with my dad a couple days ago about how some of my behaviors reflect symptoms of complex PTSD. For context, my dad has been extremely verbally abusive to me basically until COVID when my mom was home all the time and he couldn’t yell at me without her telling him to cut that shit out. He still loses his cool sometimes, either directed at me, my brother, or my mom. My mom had an incredibly traumatic (in many ways but primarily physically) childhood. She does not do this.

I hypothesized that I must have inherited these C-PTSD adjacent behaviors from my mom because I haven’t experienced trauma. I said this in part to gauge whether my dad would recognize that I have been through traumatic things — not even necessarily because of him, some of it is from being severely bullied and ostracized at school because I’m autistic. He agreed with my lie that I hadn’t ever experienced anything traumatic, and then started to complain about my mom being “overprotective” of me as a child. At some point I managed to bring up that I had gone through a lot of stuff in my childhood that’s scarred me for life, and he pretty much went “well yeah but you weren’t physically abused so you haven’t experienced trauma.” Which…no. Not how that works.

I moved on from that but my dad kept saying “this is such a productive conversation why don’t I have these kinds of conversations with you more often.” He at one point said something that made me tell him, “I’m not qualified to talk about this, you need a therapist or someone with a degree in psychology.” This made him go “nooooo why are you making this conversation go sideways why are you making this difficult we were having a PRODUCTIVE conversation why would you ruin it like this :(((( I can’t talk to you about anything”, which is not an uncommon response for him to have but just very annoying.

The worst part, though, and what I primarily wanted to tell you about, was when I confronted him about him, during a fight in January, yelling at my mom that she was just like her abuser. I’d asked my mom if she was okay with him saying that and she told me “oh he says that a lot but when he does he’s always drunk so I don’t let it get to me.” My dad justified his actions by informing me that, quote, “your mom was actually being really mean to me when I said that.” I couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious and something about that made me so sad I started to cry. He didn’t respond well to that. Previously he’d complained about my mom “freaking out whenever I raise my voice at her,” which, yeah! She was verbally abused as a child! I told my mom about this later and she was like “well he says things like that sometimes, try not to pay attention to them.” I had talked with my mom’s best friend about incidents like this previously and she’d mentioned that my mom has a really high tolerance for emotional abuse and basically any kind of abuse that isn’t physical.

And I just think that’s so sad. I wish my dad would not be…like that. He’s a walking collection of red flags and I want better for my mom. I can’t put my feelings about this shit into words other than “it’s sad.” Because it is sad and I think my dad really has to do some self reflection but I’m not helping with that shit. He has to work through his issues by himself because I am not a licensed therapist. I’m literally a teenager. I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this stuff and it’s frustrating to be around my father most of the time. I think it’s very sad for him too because he’s fucked up his relationship with me specifically so so so bad. Your kid should feel safe around you, but I can’t feel safe around my dad. And that’s just sad.

Anyway sorry I had to tell someone about the “she was actually being really mean to me before I screamed at her and compared her to her abuser” comment because what the fuck. That’s a wild ass thing to say right? Like, there’s no justifying that. The justification made it so much worse imo.

His behavior towards you and your mom is unacceptable and unfair, and I'm sorry you've had to grow up in such an environment. That being said, attempting to have a constructive conversation about abuse and trauma with a long term abuser is rarely particularly productive, and you might get further by avoiding direct confrontations with him when that's possible than by actively trying to confront him with his abuse. At least until you can get out of there ❤️

[punkeropercyjackson]

I do not see what's sexy or appealing about shipping Percy and Apollo.It's the transfem Percy knower in me partially talking but she so obviously finds him disgusting and dosen't wanna be near him because he's such a GuyTM and it's going against her punk rep to play with the potential godly aspects of it since the gods are the ultimate oppressive and corrupted authority in-universe and Apollo's side literally dosen't matter because no 18 year old is obliged to fuck a way older man because HE likes her or him or them,even more so when said older man is her or his or their whole ass relative.'Percy,you can't wear a tank top and shorts today,Cousin Apollo is coming over' ahh dynamic💀

[ninjagrace]

what’s ur favorite scenario to dream about with mtsk and death (kou dying, specifically)

YOU. YOU GET ME.

i’m gonna start this off with saying that kou minamoto is literally my favorite character ever so don’t think i’m doing this because i hate him i just think about him way too much and this is where i end up after thinking for too long

i have SO MUCH to say about this but i’m gonna throw it under the cut bc i don’t wanna catch ppl off guard with my insane bullshit

if ur reading this and u get upset it’s ur own fault /hj

alright SO

first off kou definitely should’ve died during the pp arc just for shits and giggles. it would’ve been like a “what the fuck just happened” for every character and the whole fandom and the chaos that would’ve ensued from the death of a major character would’ve been absolutely WILD- like bitch just killed himself. he straight up committed suicide. there’s no way of rephrasing that bc that’s what he did. it would’ve been a plot-shattering moment and really just heartbreaking and awful and aidairo could’ve done so much with it.

for one, mitsuba would’ve been very Not Ok because he would’ve blamed himself for kou dying and he’d definitely try to gaslight himself into believing kou was still alive- that would not work btw he’d just be in insane denial

anyway imma move on from that arc even though i could go into it so much deeper and focus on things that i could see happening just to make the story hella interesting (i’ve been very tempted to write a fic about this so beware)

i think the most likely ways kou would die would either be suicide or being killed by tsukasa. we’ve already seen him attempt to kill himself, thwarted by mitsuba then brushed aside for some reason, and i’m about to do a full ass analysis on why tsukasa should murder our boy :3

reiterating that I LOVE KOU MINAMOTO WITH MY WHOLE HEART HES PERFECT

okay so tsukasa. hes a silly guy. one of his main traits is he loves to fuck with people, right? right yeah whatever get to the point IM WORKING ON IT ok sorry anyway he’s silly right. he thrives off fucking people up as much as possible. since he knows fucking everything i’m gonna assume he knows how important kou is to mitsuba and, given the fact that it’s so easy to fuck with mitsuba, he’d know that messing with kou in some way would make the biggest impact. every way he messes up mitsuba’s (after)life doesn’t emotionally impact him for too long, given the fact that he and kou with it out every time. but what happens when we take out the support system? that’s what we wanna know.

so ofc tsukasa feels all silly goofy and takes out kou just for funzies. mitsuba is absolutely fucking destroyed in every way. he blames himself, duh. this splits off into 2 possible scenarios that i’ve created lol.

possibility one: mitsuba stays in his boundary for god knows how long, refusing to talk to anyone. eventually he goes to shijima, begging for a replacement kou. even if hes fake, it’s better than nothing, right? shijima understood his grief, in a way. so, she gave in. boom. kou copy. the rest was none of her business.

kou copy only knows what shijima knows about him, so let’s go with everything up until the end of the picture perfect arc. he has no idea about anything after, including the aquarium date, the far shore incident, and the supernaturals being banished from the near shore in the first place, and it’s fine that way. …right? well, that means he also doesn’t know that he’s supposed to be dead.

he keeps asking mitsuba when he can leave the boundary and go home, when he can go see senpai, when he can see his brother, and he’s very upset. mitsuba has no idea what to do. he was overjoyed to have his crush best friend back that he didn’t even think of what would happen after… he couldn’t let kou out of the boundary. that was out of the question. keeping kou here would make him miserable and make him hate mitsuba. so at this point they’re stuck in a cycle of shouting matches of wether or not kou is allowed to leave, periods of silence, and occasional truces because they both need someone to keep them sane, and who else can do it but each other?

possibly 2: supernaturals are a thing in this world, so why can’t kou be one too? even though tsukasa is the one who killed kou in the first place, mitsuba begs him to bring kou back, to make kou a supernatural just like mitsuba. mitsuba knows what being a supernatural feels like. he knows that just letting kou go would be so much better for the dumb blonde boy. he knows that kou deserves better than to be forced to live in a world that doesn’t want him anymore. but mitsuba is selfish. so tsukasa makes kou into a supernatural. for funzies, you know? he’d never worked with a human corpse before, so why not try out making one into a supernatural?

the process of making a supernatural is… messy. mitsuba now knows this, as he couldn’t look away from his boyfriend being made into one. it was horrific. i’m not gonna delve into it because i really don’t wanna think about that i’m so sorry my poor baby

just like with mitsuba, tsukasa didn’t have kou’s actual soul to work with, just supernatural parts and kou’s body. it was simply an animated puppet that looked like kou minamoto. “it’s fine,” mitsuba said, “it’s okay, he’s back, that what matters, right?” “it’ll be fine, right minamoto?” and as he looks to kou for support, all he gets in response is a blank look. he realizes, after staring in horror at the jagged scar on kou’s neck, that his vocal chords are absolutely fucked up beyond repair. he’d never hear kou’s voice again.

thanks for reading and i’m so sorry <3

[sys-confessions]

//tw mentions of denial and abuse//

something that really sucks for us and makes our denial worse is the lack of representation of covert systems

like... yeah obviously, there's not really going to be any because it's COVERT but it also makes us feel so fake

we don't lead a "double life" or whatever you want to call it no alter has friends irl that nobody else knows about no alter is joining a club without anybody else in the system knowing etc.

we don't switch and suddenly start walking or speaking with a different accent in public most of our switches are super discreet, like literally just pausing to take a deep breath, and then we keep going

our trauma is often invalidated because, honestly, from what i know, it's just 90% neglect and the other 10% are seeing our siblings being emotionally abused. which, yeah, was pretty bad but nowhere near as bad as the "typical" trauma we always hear about

it always makes us feel less valid and that's frustrating

.

[gayboydetectivez]

Apparently "it's okay we weren't close" isnt an effective way to diffuse the social tension created when someone finds out your mom died.

[catpcgames]

Welp, it's fucking over, Wilbur was in fact Shelby's abuser and delivered a half assed apology that was only given to save face, acting like we wouldn't notice.

I'm fucking pissed, this creator I spent so long supporting, who I turned to for comfort during the hardest time in my life, who I fell asleep while listening to his music, hes just a horrible person.

I wish I could live in denial, I feel like I'm being reminded of when one of my friends turned out to be ablelist and I didnt have the heart to unfriend him because I trusted him so much for so long, he was one of my first real online friends, hell I think hes still on my discord friends list, but also I havent spoken to him properly in like a year plus so who knows maybe that dude has changed.

What made that situation harder for me is that the person who was the actual victim there, another friend of mine, didnt want to speak out about it, and I wanted to respect their wishes, so a bunch of my friends were still talking to this dude without knowing what had happened.

I like to believe that even the worst person can change, but when Wilbur twisted what happened in his response and straight up lied basically, I can't fucking support that shit, this man does not want to change and is only claiming he has to try and salvage his reputation.

I can't believe that I supported an asshole like that even after I stopped watching mcyt, he was the only creator I still payed attention to after I moved onto other things, I fucking hate this, why does it have to be him, why does this man have to be such a fucking asshole?

Earlier I just feel disappointment, now all I feel is anger, anger at him, at the world for being so shitty right now, at myself for wasting so much of my life watching this man, and at the people who didnt say shit until Wilbur confirmed it was him. I understand not wanting to believe that your close friend is a terrible person, but when I and so many other people still said something about what Shubble said while also not wanting to believe that its Wilbur who did it, its hard not be angry that they said nothing.

Fuck Wilbur Soot, I thought he was a cool dude and even wanted to see him in person, but nope, just another fucking asshole that I made the mistake of trusting.