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veltana · 6 months

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No one as sweet as you - Mafia!Stucky/Reader

✦ Pairing: Stucky/Reader ✦ Word count: ~9,4k ✦ Rating: Explicit ✦ Warnings: Mafia AU, best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, protective!stucky, TW: reader is verbally and physically abused by john walker, idiots in love, sharing a bed, poly relationship, piv sex, dirty talk, cunnilingus, praise kink, pet names (Sweets), unprotected sex, creampie. ✦ Summary: When you’re hurt by your boyfriend you go to the two people you can depend on for anything, Steve and Bucky, your best friends. ✦ Note: This is a fic that was previously posted on AO3, at the beginning of the year. But since I'm stuck in writer's block right now I thought I would post this in case you haven't read it. It's one of my favorites. There are some short prequel fics to this also posted on AO3, about when they were living together in college. I'll post those too in the following weeks.

Series masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

The bouncer gives you one glance before he opens the door for you and the line of people you pass shout angrily but you don’t even spare them a glance, your thoughts elsewhere. The music in the club usually invigorates you but tonight it passes through without leaving a trace.

Making your way to Monica at the bar, the people you pass shoot you weird glances and you know you must look a mess. When she sees you she comes right over, the music is too loud to talk so you share a squeeze of the forearm in place of a hug before she pours you your favorite wine, with a pitying smile at your smeared mascara. You throw a kiss at her before making your way to the back and once again the big man at the door opens it for you after a quick look.

The music is muted as you make your way to the stairs at the back that take you up to their private room. When your heels land at the top and you meet Bucky's eyes he lifts the girl currently on his lap off and declares "Everyone out."

Steve shoots him an irritated look before his eyes follow Bucky's and sees you. You stand perfectly still while the women and men who were enjoying a private party with two of the biggest mobsters in New York mill past you down the stairs, some even shoot you dirty looks.

When the last person has passed, you take a step towards them, but before you're two steps in, Bucky has taken the glass from your hand and Steve has lifted you into his arms. You cling to him, hands grasping his shirts, and finally, you know you’re safe.

Steve sits down with you in his lap, cradling your head to lean it against him, the other arm holding you tight at your waist. Bucky's palms are gentle when he rubs your back soothingly. None of them say anything at first but the tears running down your face speak for themselves. You made it all the way without breaking down but with them, you can be vulnerable. For the last seven years, they’ve been the rock, the shelter, and your haven.

"Talk to us, Sweets," Bucky's voice is only that soft with you, maybe sometimes with Steve too, “What’s going on?” You try to take a deep breath, but it just stutters. After a few more tries it’s better but you’re not sure where to begin. They give you time, and don't press you on information, like they otherwise do in their line of work.

Finally, you release Steve's shirt and instead, you find the hand he has wrapped around your waist, twisting the rings on his fingers as you try to speak. You don't want to look at them, the shame and the anxiety is running high in your body but you want to tell them, you just have to find the right words.

"You know the guy I've been seeing," you start and feel Steve's arms tighten around you. Before you can say more Bucky mutters "I'm gonna kill him." Steve is calmer and asks, "What about John, Sweets?" He speaks into your hair, his voice is gentle but it has a hard edge. "He's been so sweet since we started going out, but he's been having a rough time at work lately," you squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to remember, your heart beating like crazy. The memories bring forth the panic and the fear again and your breath gets shallow.

"It's alright Sweets, you're here with us, nothing can hurt you," Bucky's low voice is comforting, together with their touch, and you know he’s telling you the truth. It’s the reason you came here instead of going home.

You take a few more breaths and continue "So I thought I'd do something nice for him. We had a spa day and while he soaked in the tub I made dinner and dressed up for him." Frowning hard, your fingers spin the rings on Steve's hand faster and faster the more your anxiety builds, knowing what’s coming.

"And everything was great until I poured the wine and spilled some on the tablecloth." Your mouth opens and closes a few times and the tears start to fall again but Bucky is there with his thumbs, cradling your face and brushing them away, while Steve rocks you gently in his embrace.

"He was furious," you cry. "Said I ruined everything! He threw the wine in my face, then the bottle across the room. He tried to grab me but I ran out of there." There is a long silence when you finish, it’s just your sobs and the music from the other side of the wall. Then Steve says "I'm gonna fucking kill him," his voice laced with rage, and he hugs you even closer.

"I took a cab here, I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t wanna go home." With the last words out you feel a small relief. You’ve told them. You’ve told someone. The scene still plays in your head, seeing John's eyes turn black with rage when the drops of rosé landed on the white linen, feeling the fear when he started screaming.

"Thank you for telling us, Sweets. You’re an incredible person," Steve says and moves you out of his lap and over to Bucky's. They treat you with the utmost care, moving slowly, giving you time to protest if you want, or detangle yourself if that's what you desire. But you let them manipulate your body how they like because sometimes they know what you need more than you do.

"You did nothing wrong," he goes on to say, holding onto your hands, letting his thumbs caress the skin. "John is an absolute fucking asshole and no one should be treated like that.” You meet his green-blue eyes that are only soft for you, and Bucky. Right now, Steve isn’t the feared mobster that people avert their eyes from when he enters a room, scared they’re going to end up in a ditch because they looked at him wrong. No, this Steve is your best friend.

"I don't want to be scared, and I don't want to go home in case he comes there," you confess. "You'll stay with us," Bucky decides, voice finite. "Let’s go home so you can take a shower and change clothes." You nod and are about to stand up but Bucky is quicker, changing his grip and holding you close as he gets up. He carries you to the car and doesn't let go of you until you're in their mansion, in the room you have there.

When he puts you down your feet are a little unsteady and they both look at you with concern, but you give them a weak smile “It’s okay.” "We'll be right outside, shout if you need anything," Steve tells you and when you nod they both step out and close the door softly behind them.

For a moment you stand still, trying to make sense of the last hours, wondering how everything went to shit. Then you finally get a good look at yourself in the tall mirror and see the black rivulets of mascara and eyeliner smudged down your cheeks, the foundation almost gone.

The dress is ruined by the wine and even if it was expensive and you can get it dry cleaned you don’t want it anymore. You pull it off and throw it into the trash can, quickly followed by the heels. The lingerie is one of your favorite sets but you're unsure if you will ever be able to enjoy it again without remembering how you chose it especially for John. After a moment it goes into the trash, and the earrings too, feeling like you need everything from the night to be gone.

The only thing you keep on your body is the necklace that was a gift from Bucky and Steve years ago and you haven’t taken it off since. It's custom-made with three delicate chains in gold, silver, and black twisted together. You loved it the moment you saw it, knowing that the chains were the three of you, twisted together through the rest of your lives. When you touch it with your fingers it makes you feel better, because you can feel them with you.

The shower feels more than just bodily cleansing and when you remove the last pieces of your smeared makeup, smoothing eye cream over your puffy eyes, the feeling of fear and panic is distant.

In the closet are a bunch of your clothes, probably more than you like to admit, but the best part is the drawer with their old t-shirts. You pull one out, not sure which of them it used to belong to, but it’s worn and soft against your skin. For a moment you press it against your nose, breathing in the detergent that reminds you of this place and all the wonderful memories that you have with them, before you find your pajama pants.

Out in your room you sit on the bed and look around at the muted colors. Bucky and Steve insisted that the room was yours, not just a guest room, and it makes you smile a little when you think about how much fun you had decorating it.

After taking a deep breath you open the door and find them just a few steps away. The look in Bucky's eyes is murderous and Steve's fists are clenched by his side, but when they turn to you they go back to being your best friends that you met in college all those years ago. "How are you feeling?" Bucky steps up to you and pulls you into a soft hug, tucking your head underneath his chin as you wrap your arms around his waist, breathing in the smell of him. Steve comes up behind you, placing his palms on your shoulders, rubbing the muscles carefully. "Better now," you answer. "But I never had dinner so I'm a bit hungry."

Bucky pulls away from you, cradling your face, tilting it up until you're looking right into his light blue eyes. "Let's go raid the kitchen," he smiles and holds your gaze for a few seconds more and there is so much love in those eyes it's almost scary. You know he would burn down the city if it made you happy, they both would, and that intensity is one of the many things that have kept you from finding out what it would be like to be theirs. You're not sure you'd be able to handle it.

When Bucky lets go of you, Steve's arm goes around your waist and he pulls you into him, Bucky takes your hand, lacing your fingers together, and you walk to the kitchen. You sit down at the kitchen island while they open the fridge.

"The chef made mac'n’cheese," Steve says and pulls out an oven pan, covered in tin foil with a post-it note on top with instructions for heating it. Bucky turns on the oven and says, "Want something to drink Sweets?"

"Soda?" you ask and Steve pulls a can out of the fridge before settling down beside you, handing it to you. You hand it right back "Please? I don't wanna fuck up my nails." That makes him chuckle as he opens it and the sound makes you warm on the inside so you lean your head against his shoulder.

"Thank you," you sigh. "For always being here for me. I'm sorry I ruined your party." "You didn't ruin shit," Bucky spits out, glaring at you from where he is standing by the oven. Steve and you chuckle at his harsh tone but then he leans forward, over the counter towards you, resting his large arms against the surface.

"I mean it, Sweets, don't you ever think you ruin anything by showing up, for any reason," his voice is stern but you know it comes from a place of love. "Thank you, Bucky, it means a lot," you smile.

When the oven is warm Bucky puts the tray in and pulls out plates. It only takes a few minutes and your tummy rumbles as the kitchen fills with the smell of cheese. Bucky and Steve make small talk about work things and you're grateful for them filling the silence while you finally get some food.

But it isn't the nice chicken that you cooked for John that you looked forward to eating and your eyes begin to burn. Even though you try to force the tears back they come anyway and run down your cheeks as you eat. Neither Bucky nor Steve notice until you reach for a paper towel and sniffle loudly. Not a second later you're wrapped up in Steve's embrace, crying into his shirt again while Bucky caresses your hair and nape. They mumble sweet things to you and tell you that you're safe and that nothing is ever going to hurt you again.

After a few minutes, the tears run dry. "I'm okay," you say and Steve loosens his hold, his eyes filled with concern for you. "You sure?" "Yeah, but I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Should probably try to get some sleep.” "We're sleeping in my room," Bucky decides and you nod, Steve too.

It's not unusual for the three of you to share a bed when one of you has had a rough time. The first time it happened was after finals and you all fell asleep in Steve's bed, totally exhausted, and slept better than you'd had in weeks.

Then it was after break-ups, yours, Steve's, Bucky's, somehow you all ended up in a bed together every time and it wasn't sexual at any point, just friends being there for each other and it continued through the years. The only time it was out of the question was when one of you was in a relationship, then it just felt weird, and from previous experience, it wasn't something that partners were all that accepting of.

You retrieve your pillows and cover from your room before settling in Bucky’s huge bed, your feet twisted up with Steve's, and Bucky is holding your hand. It's nice, it's familiar and you drift off knowing you're safe with them.

The room is dark when their soft voices wake you, but that might be because of the black-out curtains and not because it's still night. They’ve moved close enough to you that you can feel the warmth from their bodies on either side of you, and Bucky’s chest is right in front of your eyes when you open them slightly to peek. They don't notice you're awake and you don't feel like announcing it either, curious what they’re talking about.

"We let her decide." Even if Steve's tone is hushed it's still hard. "She is too sweet, you know she would never hurt a fly, she's going to say no," Bucky protests harshly in a whisper. This is interesting, you think.

"Even if you and I are fine with getting blood on our hands, maybe she doesn't want to live with that, maybe she wants to press charges." Steve has always been the more level-headed of the two, good with looking at things from all angles and keeping his cool. Bucky huffs and you want to giggle. His emotions always get him in trouble, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. When Bucky is angry he sees red and when he loves he does it with his whole soul and being. One time you asked Steve how he isn’t dead yet since his poker face seems to suck, but Steve explained that when they’re doing business he is usually calm and collected. When his emotions finally break through, people know they should probably run.

"Fine.” You can tell Bucky is not happy but he lowers his voice even more, and now it’s tinged with something else. “But I'm never letting her go again." His words together with his gentle tone make your heart skip. There was a time when you seriously thought about asking them to see if the three of you could work it out, and be more than just friends. But what you have with them is so precious that if it fails in the end, and you lose your best friends, you're not sure how you're going to go on.

"And you think I will?" Steve mutters. "We should have said something a long time ago." "Well, we can't go back in time. All I know is that I love her and I can't see her with anyone else ever again," Bucky's voice sounds like it's going to crack. He never cries but that is as close as it gets.

Steve reaches over you towards him, you can't see what he does but you know how Steve's comforting hands look on Bucky, you've seen it before. Sometimes they're even sweeter with each other than they are with you, when they think no one can see them, not even you. It's so clear that they love each other deeply, honestly it's surprising that they don't just date each other.

You hear Bucky hum in contentment and Steve gives a small soft laugh. It feels like a good time as any to pretend to wake up. You file away their words for another day, not ready to deal with them now in the wake of what’s happened. First, you need to heal the broken heart you're already nursing before thinking about giving it away again.

With a groan you turn from your side to your back, stretching and blinking your eyes open. They're lying on their sides, both resting their heads on their hands. "What time is it?" you mumble, rubbing your eyes. "Just past nine," Bucky informs you and brushes a few strands of hair out of your face. "And you two are still here?" "Just for you," Steve says softly and finds your hand, twisting your fingers together.

Both of them are early risers and you hate mornings, something they tease you for endlessly. "Honestly though, have you already, like, gone for a run, had breakfast, and then sealed some important deal?" "Nope." Bucky slides his arm in under your neck, placing the other hand on your hip, and pulls you closer to him. "We didn't want to leave in case you woke up." Steve shuffles closer, his chest pressing into your shoulder. "Didn't want you to think we left you all by yourself."

You hum and decide to ask "Would it be okay if I stay here a few days?" "Sweets, stay as long as you want. It's your home as much as ours,” Steve answers. "No,” you correct. “My name is definitely not on any papers for this house." "We can fix that if that's what you want. Just move here." Bucky is serious but you decide to laugh it off. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" "Like old times." he smiles.

"Except I have no desire to listen to the people you bring home scream and moan, got enough of that in college,” tumbles out of your mouth without really thinking of it. They exchange a look but before they can say anything you hastily continue. "Do you think I need to break up with John, or do you think he got the message when I left?"

An uneasy silence falls and Bucky breaks it. "I'm gonna be honest with you Sweets, I really wanna fucking kill him, and make it as painful and as horrifying for him as possible. Death will feel like a blessing in the end." Steve speaks next. "But it's your decision, and if you wanna press charges against him, we'll make our lawyers available."

It’s a lot to take in at that moment. "I don't know,” you answer truthfully. “It still hurts, I'm still scared but I'm not sure what will make it better." "When you've decided you let us know and we'll do whatever you want." Steve bends down to kiss the top of your head.

"If I see him on the street or something though I'm gonna punch him," Bucky says casually before letting go of you and getting out of bed. When his warmth leaves you, you whine and that makes him chuckle. He kneels on the bed and kisses your forehead. "Steve will keep you company while I make breakfast." "You mean go get what the chef has already prepared?" you joke. Bucky shoots you a look before leaving the bedroom.

"We should be glad he isn't actually cooking. Remember when he tried to make pancakes for his girlfriend and almost burned down the apartment," Steve notes. "That's because he got distracted. I mean, I'm glad I came out of my room when I did but the image of Bucky and her on the kitchen table still haunts me," you chuckle.

"You weren't exactly innocent back in those days either," Steve points out with a laugh. "But I never did it on the communal surfaces," you defend with a huff. "No, all we got was listening to you trying to stifle every sound and failing miserably." "Well, at least I didn't break a wall while fucking someone." "It was a shitty wall, never have that problem here." "See that's why I don't wanna move here." "We can soundproof your room?" "Or I can just live in my apartment?"

Bucky comes back with a breakfast tray and places it on the bedside table before pulling out your phone from his pants. "It's been buzzing nonstop since I got down," he explains and hands it to you right as the screen lights up with an incoming call.

"It's John," you tell them, and your chest floods with anxiety as you stare at the screen and sit up against the headboard. "Answer it," Steve sits up beside you, his shoulder brushing yours. Bucky is pressed against you much the same on your other side. "On speaker," he instructs and takes out his own phone to record the call.

Your hands shake as you swipe to answer. "H-hello." Your voice is wavering. "Baby! I'm sorry for yesterday, I'm sorry I got mad. I've been calling since you left, I've been so worried. I checked your place but you weren't home. Where are you?" John says in a worried voice. "I'm at a friend's house," you reply.

The feelings in your chest are conflicted, on one hand you never want to see him again but hearing his voice makes you remember that when he is good he is great, amazing even, and you would be lying if you said you didn't miss him. For the last few months, you gave it your all and you were even prepared to tell him you love him.

"I'll come and pick you up and let me apologize properly," he sounds pained like he is actually sorry for what he did. Fuck, it's so tempting to go back but you know better. You know that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and getting wine thrown in your face is probably not the worst that can happen.

"No, John." You try to sound confident but you're not sure it comes across. "I don't think it's going to work out between us." The moment you say the words the tears well up and Steve starts rubbing your shoulder." You're doing great," he whispers right by your ear so John doesn't hear.

"Are you-" John sounds shocked. "Are you breaking up with me… over the phone?" "Yeah, sorry." You cringe, you shouldn't be sorry. "You scared me yesterday and I feel like I don't know you anymore."

"Babe you don't need to be scared of me, I would never hurt you I swear," he sounds like he is about to cry and a part of you wants to comfort him. "You threw wine in my face and said some really mean things," you point out.

"I didn't mean any of that, I promise. You know I've had a lot on my plate lately and I didn't mean to take it out on you." There is some part of you that desperately wants to believe him. "That's not an excuse," you go on. "I'm not an object for you to take out your frustration on. It's not going to work John."

There is a long silence before he speaks again and now his voice is laced with rage instead. "Then you can come get your fucking things right now." "John, please don't-" you start but he cuts you off.

"You fucking bitch, you lead me on for months and then you break up with me over the phone, because what? You think I’m gonna hit you or something?" "Yeah, maybe," you answer truthfully. "You're such a dumb bitch, I would never lay a hand on a woman I care about."

Both Steve and Bucky stir beside you. When you shoot them a glance they are both staring at the screen with murder in their eyes. "Calling me names won't change my mind, John," it hurts when he says them, like an actual stab in the heart and it brings out more tears.

Bucky leans over and taps the mute button. "There is no way you're going over there, we'll send Sam and Vis." You nod and unmute while John is raging on about how dumb and useless you are and how he wishes he'd never wasted his time on you. "I'm going to send some friends to pick up my things."

"Oh, so you won't even face me yourself?” his voice is unrecognizable now. “You know what? I'm glad for what I did, I'm not sorry anymore, you're obviously a fucking coward and not worth a second of my time." Every ounce of fight is gone from you, you're just tired and want it to be over. You don’t want to listen to the hurtful words anymore so you simply say "Goodbye John," and don't even wait for a response before hanging up. You drop the phone into the sheets and bury your face in your hands, your body jerking with sobs.

Steve and Bucky’s arms go around you but you hardly notice, everything is just excruciating pain, your heart smashed into a million pieces. Twenty-four hours ago you were happy with a man you thought you knew, and loved, but now everything is broken and you're not sure what you’re going to do next.

It takes a long time for you to stop crying and when it finally ends you're exhausted, again. The coffee Bucky brought has gone cold but Steve holds a glass of juice to your lips and makes you take a few sips before coaxing some yogurt into your mouth. "Steve is going to stay with you while I take care of a few things. If you need me, you tell him and I'll be right back," Bucky promises when he leaves the bed again, taking the tray with him out of the bedroom.

"Is he going to kill him?" you ask softly as you sink down under the covers. Steve puts his arm around your waist and pulls you into his chest until your face is squished against it. "No," his voice is soft. "Not without me." "Steve…" "Can you blame us, Sweets? John was lucky it was over the phone or else we would have beaten him into a pulp for saying those things."

"He never acted like that before," you whisper. "I'm just happy you got out before he put his hands on you," Steve whispers back. "If you had shown up with bruises yesterday I might have lost it." "I love you," you tell him and he kisses the top of your head. "I love you too, Sweets, and I know Bucky feels just the same." You hum and let the exhaustion take over.

They have switched when you wake the next time, you're in Bucky's arms and he is carding his fingers through your hair speaking quietly to you. "Wake up Sweets, it's time for dinner."

Even if you’ve slept right through lunch you shake your head and swing your leg over his hip, clinging to him. "Don't wanna get up," you whine. "If you eat dinner, we can watch a movie on the couch afterward." He knows just how to tempt you and you need something to try and take your mind off everything.

"Candy?" you pull back. Even if the light in the room is dim you can still see the blue in his eyes, and the crinkles at the corners when he smiles. "You know we keep stock of everything you like, there is always something sweet for our Sweets."

You hug him hard. "I love you Bucky, you know that right?" "I love you too, Sweets." He kisses the top of your head, much like Steve did earlier. "And I know Steve feels just the same." That makes you giggle "Steve said the same thing." "Well he is a smart man," he shrugs.

Bucky all but pulls you out of bed but he doesn't force you to change out of your pajamas. He leads you to the kitchen where Steve is plating the food and your stomach grumbles when you smell it. They have set the table with candles and it looks lovely but it also reminds you of your last candle-lit dinner. Bucky sees the look on your face turns you away from it and tilts your chin up with his fingertips, "It’s…” he begins, hesitating, trying to find the right words. “We want to replace every bad memory, but if it’s too much too soon we’ll throw it all out.”

The scary thing is that he is serious. If you said the word they would throw everything out, but you don't want that, you want a nice dinner with them and try to get past what happened. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t but you won’t know until you’ve tried. And if there is one thing you know for sure, it is that you are safe with them.

“It’s fine, I’ll try,” you promise with a smile before turning around to sit down at the table. Steve serves the food and Bucky pours you a glass of wine. After a few bites, Bucky brings up some stupid shit the three of you did a long time ago and through dinner, you reminisce about old times.

Since meeting John you haven't seen them as much because you learned early on that partners were weirded out or even jealous of what you had with them. Right now you can’t fathom why you would ever do that, because these two people are the best thing in your life.

You fold your napkin into your lap and look at them. "I'm sorry for, like, ghosting you the last few months," you swallow hard. "I've been a shitty friend but you always take care of me when I need you, and I’m so thankful for that. I promise I’ll do better."

"It's okay sweets," Steve smiles and reaches over the table to grasp your hand. Bucky takes the other and his thumb caresses your knuckles. "Don't apologize, there is no need." The lump in your throat is from love and not from sadness this time and you don't try to speak, just nod, squeezing their hands back.

Afterward, you cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie but ten minutes in you're already nodding off. When Steve and Bucky notice you're asleep they turn the TV off and Steve carries you up to Bucky's bedroom. "She has work tomorrow," Bucky whispers and pulls the cover up over your body. "Fuck, should we wake her?" Steve asks back. "No, let her sleep, she starts at nine so if we let her sleep til seven it should be fine."

Fortunately, the alarm on your phone goes off as usual but when you turn to snooze it, you instead roll into a warm chest. Steve grumbles and reaches for your phone, handing it to you before seizing you around the waist, and burying his face in your neck.

“Hey, I have to get up,” you mutter. It feels like your eyes are filled with sand and your head is pounding but you have to go to work nonetheless. “You don’t have to work,” he speaks into your skin and it makes a tingling feeling travel through you.

“Don’t be silly, let go of me,” you chuckle and detangle yourself. The other side of the bed is empty, Bucky already up. You drag yourself over to your room to shower before getting ready and eating breakfast. Steve insists on driving you to work and Bucky comes and sees you off with a long hug and a kiss on your hair. “I’ve put Clint and Peter to watch your apartment and Sam and Vis are going to be outside your work all day, Sweets.” “Thank you, Bucky.”

When Steve drops you off he points out the car. "If you see John or you for any other reason feel unsafe you can go to them right away, or call us,” he tucks a strand of hair in behind your ear. “Don’t hesitate. You mean everything to us and we want to keep you safe, Sweets,” You nod. “Thank you, Steve,” you whisper, leaning over the console to kiss his cheek before heading to work.

What you told yourself would only be a few days, turns into a few weeks and now it’s almost two months. Despite your initial refusal, you’re enjoying living with them again. A few times after the break-up, John tried to contact you and every time the phone started buzzing and your anxiety spiked you found one of them and they helped you through it.

You haven’t slept in your room once and neither has Steve, it's always the three of you sleeping in Bucky's bed. It could be because Bucky has an expensive bed that you sleep so soundly, but in the back of your head, you know it’s because their presence calms you.

If Bucky or Steve can't drive you to work, someone else does, your own car is still parked on the street by your apartment and you don’t have any desire to go get it. But you do miss some of your clothes, and toiletries, so maybe you should take it as a sign that you need to go back.

After getting home from work that day you walk up to their office, a little apprehensive. Both of them are leaning over the desk when you poke your head in, their cuffs rolled up, exposing their underarms. It’s enough to make your stomach flip, they look too good. Steve sees you first and a smile splits his face. “Hey Sweets, have a good day at work?”

Bucky turns and opens his arms towards you when you step into the room. His hug is warm and comforting and you answer Steve’s question with a yes, before taking a step back from them. "I know I said I was only going to stay a few days but it's been way more than that now, so I think I'll go back to my place after work tomorrow." You try to sound as neutral as possible, neither sad nor happy, just stating a fact.

"No," Bucky breathes, fists tightening at his sides. "I agree with Bucky, don't leave," Steve's voice is calm and his face doesn’t give much away but his eyes are betraying him, they’re too glossy, too wide, and too filled with fear to miss.

The other reason you need to go back home is the way they are treating you and touching you. It’s making your feelings run wild and you can't have that, you can’t risk losing them too. And if that wasn't enough they've invaded your dreams with their touches and words, making you wake up aching for them in a way that is totally inappropriate.

"I can't stay, you know that," you sigh. "No, I don't." Bucky is frustrated, staring at you. "I really fucking don't know why you can't stay. We love having you here and you seem to love being here. Just stay."

His mood is making you defensive, you don't want to explain that you're obviously catching feelings soon after getting out of something traumatic. You need to think, and every time you wake up drenched, tucked in between them you are seconds away from ruining everything by confessing or honestly just taking one of their hands and pushing it in between your legs, hoping they will help you get off.

"I need my own space, Bucky," you cross your arms and glare at him. "You have your own room," he states and takes a step closer. "That I don't use anyway," you reply and take a step back. "Because you don't want to!" His raised voice silences you not because you're scared but because he's right. Bucky isn’t stupid and he's not the type to sugarcoat things when he's upset.

Your heart is hammering. "No I don't want to," you confess with a breath. "But I need to." Then you turn to go but only get a step from the desk before Steve grabs your wrist. He spins you into his chest, Bucky coming up behind you, boxing you in between them. Bucky's head falls on your shoulder. "I can't let you go again, Sweets, I can't do it."

Your mind flashes back to the morning when you pretended to sleep and heard them talking. The breath in your chest hitches as you look up into Steve's blue-green eyes. “I’m with him, Sweets,” he says in a low voice and cups your cheek with his large hand. “You belong here, with us.”

Your mouth opens and you try to protest but it dies on your tongue and Steve takes the opportunity to continue. "We love you, more than anything, we want you to be ours, more than just our best friend. Live with us, be with us in every sense of the word. All three of us, together," his voice wavers at the end.

The words sink in slowly. Be with them. Be theirs. Stay. Your body is aching to say yes and your heart is about to beat its way out of your chest. “But…” “All I know is that I feel incomplete without you, like a part of my soul is somewhere else, and the only time I'm at peace is when I'm with you two. I can't keep living like a part of me is missing. So I'm asking you, please stay, please help us figure this out and be with us." Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist. "Every time I see you with someone else my heart gets ripped out of my chest and I've tried to be with other people, we both have, but in the end, they’re not you."

Their confessions break down your defenses as their words ring true. In all your relationships over the years, there's always been something missing but you've never been able to figure out what. There's been passion and there's been love but it's always lacking something and now you think you get it. It has lacked them and the deep connection you share through years and years of friendship. Feeling stupid about wanting to leave and thinking you weren’t ready to be with them makes tears well in your eyes. Whatever it is you three can figure it out, it may not be traditional but it beats being unhappy.

"Don't cry, Sweets." Steve runs his thumb over your cheek. You lean your head into his chest, nodding against it. "I'll stay," you sniffle. The arms around your waist tighten and Bucky speaks into your shoulder. "Really Sweets?" he sounds like he’s worried that maybe you're joking.

"Really Bucky," you promise, wrapping your arms around Steve and hugging him close. For a moment it’s just the three of you enveloped in your shared love but then Bucky rights himself and you look up at him over your shoulder, matching his silly smile.

He leans in like he is about to kiss you but he stops himself, his eyes searching yours for something, and it's scary. If you take the plunge everything will change, or maybe it won't, but it feels like an earthquake is rolling through your life, upsetting everything and if you let him kiss you it will be real. But that's what you want.

"Please?" you ask him and his whole face lights up before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours. It could be described as fireworks, an erupting volcano, or maybe feeling the first rays of sunlight on your skin after years in darkness, but nothing will come close to the feeling of being kissed by Bucky.

It's a chaste kiss with just his lips moving carefully against yours. It's over quicker than you want but in his place is Steve, turning your head back towards him and descending on you. His fingers run through your hair and he opens your mouth to let his tongue play with yours, the feeling once again indescribable, it's just the feeling of right. Everything about it feels right.

Even if the kiss is slow when he pulls back your breathing is labored and you're clutching his shirt. "I-" you begin but can’t find any words. That kiss ignited something inside you, it's like you're seeing color for the first time, everything is clearer and sharper. What even was your life before?

"Are doing okay Sweets?" Bucky asks next to your ear and you nod in response. When his soft lips caress the side of your neck you whimper and lean your head to give him better access, he chuckles against your skin, nipping it and making you gasp. "I wanna eat you up, find out what you taste like everywhere."

It’s a badly kept secret that Bucky has a marking kink. You’ve seen his exes, you know he's possessive and likes to leave marks. You can't wait to have them on you so you whisper, "Mark me.”

Steve chuckles above you. "She knows you, Bucky," he says with a smile. "You too, Steve, please?" You’re almost begging, but not quite, just asking nicely. "You want me to give you a hickey?" he asks with a crooked smile but those eyes are too easy to read. He craves you. "Or a bruise, or a bite mark, something, anything," "Fuck…" His face changes to match his dark eyes. "You want everyone to know you belong to us, Sweets?" he asks with a hoarse voice and you feel the large bulge in his pants press against your stomach.

You nod, biting your lip. "Show me how you do it, Bucky.” They spin you around and Bucky grabs at the collar of your blouse, pulling harshly, sending the buttons flying over the office. “Hey-” you begin but he pulls the fabric aside exposing the juncture between your shoulder and neck. First, he sinks his teeth in, hard enough for you to hiss but not breaking the skin, then he closes his lips and sucks.

It's painful but the act in itself makes you throb. When he pulls back you release your breath but Steve is quick to pull the neckline on the other side and do the exact same thing. He is gentler but when he's done there is still a purple bruise on your skin. "Fuck me," you whimper against Bucky.

"Yes, Sweets, we will. Long and hard until you can't take it anymore. We're going to ruin you." Steve promises before he grabs you and lifts you up, spinning you so you can wrap your legs around him as he starts walking to the bedroom, Bucky right behind you. You reach your hand out towards him and he grabs it, kissing your palm and knuckles. "We're going to take care of you Sweets, you'll never want for anything," he promises with a wicked smirk.

Steve places you on the edge of the bed and stands up, looking down at you. Bucky comes up beside him, resting his forearm on Steve's shoulder. "Look at our sweets, can you believe it?" Bucky asks. Steve turns to him with a smile. "Yes." Then he places two fingers under Bucky's chin, turning his head before kissing him. It's heated, filthy and it's the hottest thing you've ever seen. You squeeze your legs together to alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling in your cunt. Their kiss shows that it's nothing new, they've obviously done it before and you're a little mad that they have withheld this from you.

When Steve starts pulling on Bucky's clothes you can't keep the moan from slipping out. They both break away and turn to you and you feel small in the best way possible. "Did you like that?" Bucky asks before leaning down and kissing you.

The knowledge that his tongue was just in Steve's mouth and is now sliding against yours makes you moan again. You start undoing the buttons on his shirt and he pulls on your top. When you separate, he pulls it off and you’re left in just your bralette. Steve makes a sound in the back of his throat at the sight and starts taking off his own clothes.

Bucky kneels in front of you on the floor, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them off, while you stare at Steve as more and more skin is revealed. He holds your gaze the whole time and you bite your lip when he starts at his pants. His chest and forearms are huge, covered in tattoos but in no way hiding the muscle underneath. It makes your mouth water and your cunt clench.

Bucky starts kissing up your bare leg, beginning at your ankles and slowly working his way up your calve and the inside of your thigh. When you're still staring at Steve he nips your skin. "I know he's gorgeous but when I eat your pussy I want your eyes on me, Sweets." He tries to look offended but his pupils are blown wide with lust.

Just the thought of him between your legs makes a shiver run through you and your cunt impossibly wetter. Nodding at him you caress the side of his face and watch him, the closer he gets, the more you start to tremble with need. No one had ever made you feel so needy and horny.

Bucky kisses your cunt through your underwear, making you gasp. "Please Bucky, I need you." "I know, I can smell how fucking wet you are Sweets." He twists your panties out of the way. "Fuck, Steve, look at her, she's dripping."

Steve, in just his underwear now, slides his fingers gently through the mess, making you tremble and moan, before bringing the fingers to his mouth and holding your gaze as he licks them clean. Then Bucky's mouth is on you, his tongue licking from your core up to your clit.

"Fuck-fuck-fuck-" you cry and grab the sheets under you, bucking up into his touch. Steve chuckles and gets behind you on the bed. "He looks like he's in heaven, Sweets. He has wanted you for so long." You feel his fingers undo the clasp of your bra and then slide it off. His hands cup your tits a second later, making more sounds spill out of your mouth. His fingers rub, caress, and pull on your nipples while Bucky is hurdling you toward your climax.

"I'm- I'm gonna-" Your legs shake and you grab Steve's arm with one hand, the other going to Bucky's head, grabbing his short hair. Every muscle in your body tenses right before the coil snaps, making you scream out your release, riding Bucky's face and feeling the pleasure-filled waves travel through your body.

You slump against Steve's and he holds you. Bucky pulls back with a shit-eating grin, wiping his face with the back of his hand, saying "Fuck Sweets," before he stands up and starts taking off his clothes.

You already feel amazing, high off your orgasm but you want more and Steve's hard-on is pressing into your back. You turn around on the bed. "Move up," you tell him and his smirk is knowing but he does as you say and moves to sit against the headboard.

You rid yourself of your drenched panties before grabbing his boxers and pulling them off. "Eager Sweets?" he chuckles and fists his cock as soon as it's free. It's thick and long as him and you can't fucking wait. You bite your lip before asking "Condom?"

"I know we should but I want to feel you raw Sweets,” he confesses. “Are you on birth control?" "Sure, and I got tested the week after…" you trail off not wanting the bad memories to ruin the moment. Bucky's heat is suddenly behind you, grabbing your hair and forcing your head back to kiss you deeply. When he lets go he says, "Steve and I got tested like a week before you moved in and I've not even looked another person's way since then." Steve laughs "And I haven't fucked anyone either so get over here and ride my cock Sweets."

To say you scramble is an accurate description, quickly shuffling over to him and straddling his hips. You hold onto his shoulders as he swipes the head of his cock through your mess, holding it still for you to sink down on.

All three of you moan in unison as his dick disappears into your tight hot channel. The grip Steve has on your hips is almost bruising and the look on his face is painful. “F-fuck. Sweets. Damn.” Is all he gets out. You lean in, kissing his cheeks and chin and lips, and start to move, slowly, the feeling is amazing, he's filling you up to the brim perfectly.

"Feels so good," you stutter and then drop down hard. "I'm never watching porn again," Bucky says from behind you and you watch him over your shoulder, kneeling on the bed and jerking his cock. You whine in the back of your throat, you want him too, so you reach for him as you bounce on Steve's cock, making him spill the most delicious sounds.

Bucky shuffles over and you grab his dick in your hand, he's big enough that it doesn't fit all the way around. His hand lands on Steve's shoulder to steady himself and Steve reaches out to place a hand on his hip.

The sounds the three of you make fill the room. It's moans, groans, and whimpers, the sound of slapping skin and squelching wetness. Your clit is steadily rubbing against Steve, getting you closer and closer. Bucky is panting heavily, Steve is too.

"Sweets, I can feel you. Are you gonna come on my cock?" Steve is trying to sound unaffected and failing miserably, but he continues to spill filth that rushes you toward the edge. "When I've filled you up, Bucky is gonna fuck my cum right back into you, aren't you Buck?" "Fuck yes," he groans before leaning in and kissing you deeply. “I wanna see you come on his cock Sweets.”

"Next time I wanna feel both of you come in me at the same time," you whimper. "Sweets, you goddamn slut." Steve groans with a laugh and bucks up into you harder. "Tell us more! Please! I want to hear every filthy little thought hidden inside that mind."

You turn to look at Bucky. "I want both of you in every hole. I want you to use me like I'm a toy and worship me like a queen," you tell him, then turn to Steve. "Put my name on the house and celebrate it by fucking in every room, on every surface, show me all of your kinks, give me everything."

Steve's eyes are screwed shut and he's let go of Bucky to grab your hips, pulling you down onto his big cock. "Keep going," you urge him, your release just a few thrusts away. But he's too close and before you can get there he suddenly sits up to wrap his arms around your waist, crushing you against his chest, thrusting up hard, and comes with a loud moan of your name.

You feel wild, right on the edge of ecstasy but left dangling in mid-air. With pleading eyes and a whine you look at Bucky who smirks at you before pulling you away from Steve and laying you on your back. A second later he fills you up, the sound of his cock pushing through Steve's mess is as sweet as it's nasty.

"Please, Bucky, please," you beg. "Yeah I know, don't worry, not gonna blow my load early," he taunts over his shoulder at Steve who just gives him the finger. "Understand him though, you’re so tight and warm Sweets. Makes me a bit crazy. I just want to fill you up over and over again," he confesses.

"I need to-" you begin but he cuts you off. "Rub your clit for me. Come on my cock," he demands but you know something that is even better than your own fingers and you reach out your arm.

"Steve," you plead and he crawls over to you and lays down beside you, pushing his hand in between your bodies, finding your clit. You arch off the bed with his touch, hands clutching Bucky's arms as he rams into you. The dual sensation is amazing and with how close you were seconds ago the end approaches quickly. Your moans get louder the closer you get and both Bucky and Steve praise you the whole way through.

"You sound so fucking pretty."

"I can barely move you gripping me so tight."

"You're so good at taking cock, Sweets. First mine and now Bucky's, it's like you were made for us."

You nod at the last thing and the pressure in your body is breaking, making your muscles convulse, almost pushing Bucky out with how hard you're coming, screaming their names as you do.

"Fuck! Yes, Sweets!" Bucky’s laugh is a little manic as he works you through it. "I'm going to fill our sweet little cunt with more cum." His hips stutter against you before he groans out your name and collapses on top of you. You run your fingers over his sweaty back and kiss his cheek. Then you turn to Steve, smiling at him beside you. "He's heavy," you complain.

Both of them laugh and Bucky rolls off before they move until you're squeezed in between them, their cum running down your legs, making a mess on the bed. Fortunately, you have at least two other beds to sleep in.

For a few months, you're walking on air. In a throuple with your two best friends, amazing sex, luxury beyond what you could have ever imagined. They constantly spoil you and they've tried to convince you to quit your job since you don't need to work when you're with them.

Tonight you're in another fancy restaurant. Bucky is trying to feed you chocolate cake because it's romantic but you tell him over and over again that you can eat by yourself. Suddenly Steve stiffens beside you and since he isn't known to have tells, you immediately get worried and follow his gaze.

John is standing at the door with a pretty girl on his arm, talking to the waiter and then being shown to a table. Next to yours.

When your eyes meet he stops for a second and his date shoots confused looks between the two of you, before you nod and he nods back, then moves again and sits down.

Steve asks for the check and you're out of your seat and outside the restaurant in no time. Bucky holds your coat as you put it on and a moment later Steve comes out too. His eyes are black with hate and when you're finally in the car you realize that you can't live like this.

"I think-" you begin, swallowing then clearing your throat, "I think I'm going to need those lawyers."

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whetstonefires · 3 months

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See I don't necessarily disagree with what seems to be the primary reading that Yue Qingyuan's shifu fucked him over, caring nothing for his needs or preferences and only for whether he was useful. That makes sense, it ties into plenty of the generational and societal themes of the story. It fits.

But iirc we don't actually get enough information to know that's what happened.

And the thing is it would be so in-character and also thematically appropriate if Yue Qingyuan absolutely did not explain his goals or why he was working so hard, because it was private and shameful and he didn't expect any sympathy, and there was a high risk of losing everything if he blabbed.

And also if he engaged with the existing ruleset with which he was presented, i.e. 'can't go off on your own on personal business until you've mastered your sword,' in the most negative and controlling manner possible, as absolute commandments.

He's a different kind of guy but he comes from the same background as Shen Jiu! It fucked him up also!

He is very very very not a guy who trusts the system to make allowances for him--even once he has all the power he 'does what he wants' and 'makes selfish choices' as a conscious transgression; not something he has a right to do, just something he can get away with so he's gonna. (And ofc he spends almost all the latitude he grants himself on sqq.)

And even less is he a guy who opens up easily.

He isn't too proud to ask for help or pity, so much as he just doesn't expect to get any.

So in this interpretation, he understood that rule as a non-negotiable barrier in his path, the target to overcome, and focused all his considerable will and talent on overcoming it through the sphere of action he felt he had control over.

And fucked himself up bad.

Whereupon his teacher, possessing absolutely no context for this dumb shit their star pupil pulled, did the only thing they thought might work to save his life, paying in the process no attention to the raving of someone deep in a psychotic break.

Like, I feel like there should have been a better, kinder medical option, but I don't know for sure that there was, so I can't say with certainty this was the kind of cruelty that derives from not caring enough.

And it really would be kind of elegant and so typical of Yue Qingyuan's fundamental tragedy if the real mistake was 'not confiding in anybody' the whole time.

And he was just so deeply sunk into the understanding that explaining and asking were useless that, even looking back, it never really occurred to him that maybe his mistake wasn't 'fucking it up when trying too hard to solve everything on his own' but 'assuming there was no help to be had, and that he had to do it all on his own.'

Like. What if this really could all have been avoided if he'd just trusted and communicated with the adult in charge of him? But of course, of course his history of trauma (neglect, child abuse, exploitation, being the One Responsible for the younger kids whom he could not keep safe) meant he was absolutely not going to do that.

It was basically impossible. For the person he was, the person the world had made of him. And that's always been the core tragedy the whole novel circles back upon.

People can only ever be themselves, and so very often the elements of self that let them survive until now are that which dooms them, that means they need someone else to intervene if they're ever going to be saved. Because your personal doom is always the thing from which you can't save yourself.

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cookierin-simp · 1 year

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MONEY MACHINE! - A DIRTY FANFICTION OF OBEY ME

In which : The anger turned into sex.

Featuring : Lucifer Obey Me × Fem reader

Trigger warning include

Degradation

Humiliation

Plane sex

Master / slave

Frustrating sex

Submissive-dominant (appears in part 2)

Lots of slapping (appears in part 2)

Author note: Hi sinners! Do u miss me as much as i missed u? Today I am serving you a steamy story. If only I didn't write about Sex In The Air, I will naming this fic Sex In The Air but my oh my! I am a huge fan of Lucifer so this is so fun to write!

Have fun reading! xoxo, erin

12:30 PM

"You've always been such a bitch to me, Lucifer."

"In case you've forgotten, I pay everything in this world for you."

Your mouth trembled at the words you were about to say, and Lucifer's ruby eyes gleamed; he gritted his teeth and faces of hatred worn by both of you. Lucifer's private office was tense, and the air inside the room thickened. Somehow, the rages that filled the chamber were off the bar; this is serious.

"You're the one who volunteered to spend your money on me", your tone rose, throwing a threat at Lucifer. "I thought you would be grateful, y/n", the demon reciprocates your voice, and he is one step away from yelling.

"oh right!" your voice burst inside the room. "I'm so grateful that I need to only look at you, I don't have any free will to talk to anyone, and I can't leave by your side because you're such a possessive little bitch! Thank god, I am yours!" your sarcasm heated Lucifer's ear as he growled internally. The eyes of the pride demon were unhappy, and so did yours, but what makes it different is that you were full of tears while Lucifer's rage mixed with shame.

"This is the part where you apologise, y/n. There will be consequences" Lucifer’s tone returned to normal, but it was much scarier than his previous tone, which was loud enough to wobble your leg.

"No, this is the part where I leave" you bold the last word to mark it. To be honest, you don't even know if Diavolo would let you go to the human world for a silly reason like 'arguing with Lucifer'. Yet again, Diavolo was such a hopeless demon for you. Sometimes, it's okay to abuse that kind of thing, right?

Lucifer laughed at hearing your funny warning. He covered his face with both palms before returning the hands to his waist. "Do you think it's that easy to run away from me, y/n?" Your threat made him even more sadistic. "Did you realise how powerful I could be?" his light step shrunk the gap between you and him. "Do you know how much of a dust you'll be once I'm gone from your life?" you backed away as he got closer and closer until a wall hit the back of your body. Lucifer's lip was inches from you, and his red eyes pierced a hole through your iris. His breath tickles your cheek as he continues exposing his toxic side.

"Don't you know how small these three worlds are for you to hide from me?"

The way your chest rose and how you flinched between his breathing convinced Lucifer that you would never dare to cross your line. "Try y/n. Just try stepping your damn foot out from my office" his silken whisper was sharp enough to stab you in the heart.

As much as Lucifer was confident that you couldn't get away with this, you were also sure that things he would do to you if you rebelled against him wouldn't be that bad. At the end of the day, this was because of love, and Lucifer isn't the type to scar his beloved human. So you gathered your courage and slapped him. It's good to collect your bravery, but at some point, you didn't get your thoughts together when hitting Lucifer. That was a dumb thing to do.

He hissed quietly as his slender fingers ran through his red cheek. "You've never changed," you told him as he brushed his thumb where you marked your palm. Lucifer didn't respond. It wasn't because your slap hurt him psychically but internally. You scratched his ego, and what he would do to you was unimaginable.

You left the scene without any hesitation. First, you longed to go out and hide. Second, you'll die in a minute if you don't leave the house. The fresh air outside tastes like regret. Your head was blaming you as you contemplated whether it was an exaggerated reaction or just right. You sighed. Either way, your next destination is Lord Diavolo's castle for him to grant your wish to go to the human world.

____________

4:00 PM

___________

"Will you visit us here, y/n?" Lord Diavolo looked at you with such hopeless stares. You thought this meeting would go well quickly, but even Lord Diavolo tried to convince you to stay.

"I'll think about it", you replied as Barbatos chanted the spell to open the portal. A notification from your phone disrupts the incantation as it distracts Barbatos. "Sorry…" you take the phone out of your pocket and look at it while the butler repeats the same mantra.

"Cash withdrawn. Your bank balance is low."

You cussed without a voice. Lucifer knew how you would become dust once you cut him from your life. You thought once again. Nope, this is precisely what Mr.Pride wants, for you to come and beg for forgiveness since he has power over it. You're going to the human world, and that's it. You can find a job there to support your little runaway journey.

"what's the matter, y/n?" Diavolo spoke as he peeked at your DDD. "Ah.." he chuckled. "I didn't realise Lucifer was that desperate for you to come back to him" the Devildom prince laughed as he grabbed his DDD. "Not that he was desperate for me to come back. He's desperate to see me suffer, Lord Diavolo" you rolled your eyes and unlocked your phone to block Lucifer.

"Lucifer's way of loving may be sadistic, y/n" Lord Diavolo clicked the transfer button, and a notification greeted you.

"Young master, the portal is ready," Barbatos said in a monochrome tone as a vast, aqua-hued portal is ready for you.

"But if that way didn't suit your taste, I hope I can have a chance to make you feel my way of loving," Lord Diavolo winked, giving you an obvious hint regarding his feelings. You looked at the notifications and tapped it as it redirected you straight to your bank account information.

"Lord Diavolo has transferred you $100,000,000."

__________

7:21 PM

__________

"Yeah, a ticket to this place, please, economy ride."

The lovely woman nodded as she weighed your bag; it was suitable for the flight. "Here's your ticket, dear" her red lipstick reminds you of Lucifer's eyes. Except Lucifer’s orb filled with rage while her lips looked soothing.

The flight she assigned you will be off in 15 minutes. That's good. You asked her to give you a ticket to get you to that place as soon as possible. Lucifer knows your home in the human world; of course, he would find you here. To be a full runaway girl. You must go to a place far away from your home where he wouldn't even expect you to stay there. It's good that Lord Diavolo gave a drop of his possession. You can travel and support your life here in the human world without worrying about finances.

Your run was equivalent to a professional athlete knowing it's ten more minutes before it will take off. The luggage was equipped with a wheel, making it easier to bring even in running mode. You arrived at the gate as your mouth frantically gasped for air. "Here…" you gave the guard your ticket as they let you in. "Finally", you settled your breathing and went inside the tunnel that led to the aeroplane.

It was a cramped place considering it's an economy class. You didn't mind it, weighing you lived your whole life with simplicity. "seat 31A..huh, that's almost at the back.." you muttered while walking through the aisle. You held your breath to suck in your stomach. Unfortunately, you are the last to get on board, so it is not shocking that the plane was already crowded. The sound of a crying child provokes your headache." should have spent a couple of thousands dollar for the first class…" you scream internally.

You sat on your assigned place of the seat. On second thought, this is great. The fact that chairs 31b and 31c were unattended made you grin to the ear. This was some sort of blessing that none of the riches knew. You looked around. All passengers owned the whole seat. Wow, why were no one chooses the place? It was a question wandering in your head.

Image references :

Three more minutes before take-off, you stare at the sun about to set. The illuminating orange-hued granted you a state of tranquillity. It would be better if this view were accompanied by fresh air instead of humidity inside an economy-class flying machine.

"Excuse me, coming through. Ugh, you better watch where that hand of yours goes."

Just as you were about to enjoy your alone time in this aeroplane for 10 hours, you sensed the presence of someone unknown sitting beside you. Your lips curl as you examine his face. The rectangular frame of that fine lad next to you and his black turtleneck shirt, topped with a long blue coat and that signature smell that reminds you of something, you were so sure what he was.

"Lucifer?" you called his name in such an awful tone.

"If you're going to run away, why won't you pick a first-class plane? Damn it," he replied as the demon in disguise as a human still adjusting his position in a small seat.

You rolled your eyes as your palm landed roughly on your forehead. You thought you were the last to be on board, but heaven knows the worst, and hell knows the best.

"It's my choice and if you are disgusted by it, go skydiving" you shifted your eyes back at the view even though Lucifer himself was astonishing compared to the sunset. "Plus, why won't you move a little? There was a seat beside you. Leave a gap between us, you fucking demon."

Lucifer finally managed to adjust himself comfortably. He clicked his tongue repeatedly in reply to your uncharacteristic tone. "Wow, look at that. Back in Devildom, you won't say such a thing to me," he said as his eyes glared at your hair, considering you turned your back on him. "Look at me, y/n. I'm talking to you."

"Our talked ended at your office", you casually replied. "I don't want to spend my 10 hours flight talking about something I do not enjoy."

"Y/n, this is…" as Lucifer was about to say something, an announcement came through.

"The plane is about to take off. If you have any questions or requirements, kindly call our flight attendance by pushing the button in the overhead console; thank you."

"Gladly need your help", you muttered alone and pushed the button. "What are you doing," the demon asked as you replied to him with silence and watched a dashing young man make his way towards your seat. "Yes, ma'am?" he asked with a smile. A beauty spot on his left cheek and a regular haircut on him, except his hair, which seems more voluminous, made him the most attractive cabin crew in this airline.

"Do you have any available seat for me to switch?" you asked him in a soft tone, almost like showing a submissive side of you, and Lucifer did not enjoy it. The host smiled gently. "I'm afraid not, ma'am. As you can see, this airline was packed, and the only available seat for you to change is this" he pointed to a seat next to Lucifer, which was 31c. "But I will notify you immediately if someone wants to change their seat."

"Thank you, sir, I would love that" a word of gratitude for the host was like a screeching noise in Lucifer's ear. You let out a huge, obnoxious sigh. "I did not sign up for this…." you muttered, but Lucifer could still hear.

The plane started to move at high speed. It is going to fly soon.

______

12: 30 AM

_______

"Y/n, you haven't eaten yet" Lucifer watched your face going pale. There was a truth between his word. You were so rushed to catch the plane that you hadn't eaten anything before the flight. "A 10 hours period without eating is dangerous; you must eat" his word didn't sound like a worry but rather a command.

"I thought you didn't care that I was dying?" you questioned as your eyes stared at him. "What did you think when you took my money? I will die because of starvation anyway."

Lucifer's finger began to caress your cheek. A soft sensation between his cold fingers reminds him of your obedience. His thumb rubbed at the above of your jaw. "I was so wrong for that…" he whispered in regret. The fingers trailed at your soft lips. "That's why I followed you here, my dear…."

This was such an overwhelming feeling. You still have this fiery anger inside you for Lucifer, but with these words that invite you to place your lips against that demon, the whole runaway plan will be damned.

You flinched as his thumb got closer to the centre of your lips. "I need to go to the toilet", you reasoned to him and stood up. Damned the cramped place, your butt was so close to his body when you moved away from your seat, trying to reach for the aisle and make your way to the toilet. Lucifer gulped. He tried all he could not to claw his hand at your ass. Mr Pride's mind was never innocent, so he stared at the view of your struggling hips in front of him as he bit his lips. "God damn it, y/n…." Lucifer screamed internally.

The plane starts to shake heavily, and you lose your balance. That woke up the sleeping passengers, but they weren't panicking. You fell on Lucifer's lap as you lay your back on his chest. "Don't worry; the plane was just going through the cloud. These people must have been going through this a lot. That's why they didn't react that much," he whispered as if to calm yourself down. When the plane shook, you were about to think about your death, but his words soothe you.

Not his bulge, though.

The turbulence went off, and the plane returned to its normal state, but Lucifer's arm still clung to your stomach. You tried to stand up as the first intention for you to do so was to go to the toilet. Lucifer quickly pulled you back onto his lap. "Wait…" he gritted his teeth.

"Just a few more minutes…" his tone was more profound than his usual voice. You can't possibly do this any much longer. His cock was hard and dying to get out of his pant while your pussy was throbbing to sit on his lap. "y/n… you were throbbing…."

"I.. didn't", you denied it as Lucifer started to travel his hand down to your panties. "No, it is. My cock feels it," the horny demon justified his words as a cold sensation greeted your clothed clit.

"Lucifer, we are in an aeroplane…." you said as you tried to hold back your moan as he teased the hardened bud in your panties. "I know…" he stroked your clothed clit as you placed your hand onto your mouth. A loud moan would be suspicious in this aircraft.

Mr.Pride pace of stroking was perfect. It was slow-paced yet so sensational. The way his heavy breath sang into your ears. Oh, how you are such a weak for men's moan of pleasure.

Lucifer's impatient demeanour made him rip your undergarment apart using his magic. Your private jolt at the sudden loss of cloth, making it sensitive to the aeroplane's air. "Oh my…" Lucifer chuckled. "How naughty I am in this commoner plane…."

Your liquid ruined Lucifer's crotch; his dick was aching to feel your wetness. "Look at me, my dear. I need to see your face while I rub my cock between your legs," he whispered cautiously, making sure that no one heard his plead towards you.

You were also taken by lust. If it weren't because of your hormones and his dick pulsating through his pants, you would ignore his demand but you also wanted to feel more. To have more and to be entirely overtaken by pleasure. After all, this 10 hours flight would be boring without sex.

You faced the demon with his help, adjusting to his desired position. He bit his lip when your breast was so close to his face. "You know, I'm getting tired of seeing your back. This cowgirl position really make up for it" he groped your breast tenderly. You felt his cock flinch down the jean, writhing to be freed.

"Command me… Master…" your soft voice provoked his Asmo's side. He looked at you with hope-filled glowing eyes. You could see straight from his wish, and the image of both of you crying out of pleasure sparkled inside Lucifer's crimson orbs.

"You fucking bitch…" he cussed as he unbuttoned your shirt swiftly, almost ripping your favourite top. You moan as your breasts are fully exposed to his face. To be fair, there was a bra covering your nipples, but Lucifer's hand was quick. He unclasped your bra with one hand at the same time; he unfastened your button. The way this demon acted was hard to imagine, and no ordinary person could ever mimic how he unleashed his beast.

The demon took no time and put his mouth on the left side of your tits. A soft moan escaped your mouth as a sign of your uncontrollable arousal. You subconsciously moved your hips to feel Lucifer's bulge rocking with your clit. "Mmph…" Lucifer moans while his mouth is full of your breast. "This feels good, Lucifer", you whispered to his ear as your seat kept moving.

Lucifer licked your nipples and sucked them like a baby. His eyes wander straight at your expression, trying to see what face you make while he sucks your sensitive spot. Your chest was like heaven to him. If only milk came out from this very nipple, he might as well suck you dry until there's nothing left. Be it night or day, he will keep sucking until all the milk consumes his body. Of course, Beelzebub would envy him.

Lucifer must not forget that you made your move to provoke his 'milk'. Your hips moved faster as the rush of pleasure encouraged you to do so. Your hand clawed to his shoulders, your nails sunken to his skin. Lucifer didn't even care if he bled. That scar could be an achievement for him. Plus, this sadistic demon also gets stimulated with pain.

"Shit… One more minute, and I'll fucking come," Lucifer incoherently spoke as he continued burying his face onto your breast.

"I'll fucking come too…." you told him as a warning, and your eyes rolled to the excitement and adrenaline that rushed through your body. You knew wearing a skirt was a great idea. It has always made you look cute…and it is accessible when it comes to public sex.

"Aah.. no... Fuck" Lucifer's moan was quiet, yet you noticed how he tried so hard not to let the whole passenger knows about these dirty secrets. "Fuck… Y/n, stop… I'm going to come in my pant.." he begged again, but his hand didn't even try to stop your hips.

You almost reached your climax, so stopping would be a loss to you. This was probably the best climax you've ever had, and you don't want to waste it. The feeling of shame and the fear of getting caught, combined in one, create a pleasure that none of the private sex in the bed can offer. Adrenaline does play a massive part in erotic scenes.

"I... I can't stop…I'm… coming…" your hips moved faster and faster to reach the seven cloud of the heavens. Lucifer's breathing was scattered, and his moan turned into a whimper. He kept telling you to stop, yet you felt out of control with your body.

"Y/n!" Lucifer growled your name as you felt his dick flinch inside and a hot sensation from his crotch telling you that he already came. On the other hand, you were also indulged and melted with the feeling of relief after the sexual frustration you had to go through when your butt landed on Lucifer's lap.

Both of you were panting, and the action stopped. You were so out of breath that your body could not move, only your chest rising up and down. "You slut…" Lucifer muttered his anger. "I told you to fucking stop," he murmured in a deep tone.

"Well, I prepared…" the demon reached for an item from his pocket, and you saw a vial filled with golden liquid in his possession. "I'm going to punish you, in this plane, with this goddamn aphrodisiac," Lucifer said as he opened the vial and drank it until nothing was left. You knew that a drop of it was powerful enough to influence a demon's desire, yet Lucifer consumed it as if he was about to fuck you nonstop in a billion years.

"Now, my brave sheep. Make me come once again."

authors note: so, how was it? Does this deserves a part 2? Hehehe~~~

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me smut #obey me prompts #lucifer obey me #om! mammon #obey me!#obey me lucifer #lucifer x mc #lucifer smut #lucifer obey me x reader #lucifer obey me smut #shall we date lucifer #smut obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me fic

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boricuacherry-blog · 16 days

Text

It is always the same. It happens to women as different as Nicole Simpson, Lorena Bobbitt - and me. There is terror, yes, and physical pain. There is desperation and despair. One blames oneself, forgives him. One judges oneself harshly for not loving him enough. "It's your fault," he shouts as he is battering in the door, or slamming your head against the floor. And before you pass out, you say yes. You run, but no one will hide you or stand up for you. You will hide behind bushes, trashcans, in alleys, away from the decent people who aren't helping you. It is, after all, your fault..

He hurts you more: more than last time and more than you ever thought possible; certainly more than any reasonable person would ever believe - should you be foolish enough to tell. And, eventually, you surrender to him, apologize, beg him to forgive you for hurting him or provoking him or insulting him or being careless with something of his - his laundry, his car, his meal.

The shame of this physical capitulation, often sexual, and the betrayal of your self-respect will never leave you, and the violence becomes contextual, the element in which you try to survive. You will try to run away, plan an escape. If he finds out, or finds you, he will hurt you more.

If you can't find shelter or have no work, you will go back and ask him to let you in. If you work, he will find you. He may ask for you back and make promises of repentance. But if you do stay away, he will strike out of nowhere, still beat you, still vandalize your home and stalk you.

When I was being beaten by a shrewd and dangerous man twenty-five years ago, I know I was buried alive in a silence that was unbreachable and unbearable, so I can only imagine how Nicole felt.

Nicole called a battered-women's shelter five days before her death. Evidence of the attacks on her by Simpson that were witnessed in public will be allowed at trial. But most of what a batterer does is in private. The worst beatings, the sustained acts of sadism, have no witnesses.

As Malcolm X used to say, "by any means necessary" - a principle women, all women, had better learn. A woman has a right to her own bed, a home she can't be thrown out of, and for her body not to be ransacked and broken into. She has a right to expect her family and friends to stop the batterer - by law or force - before she's dead. She has a constitutional right to a gun and a legal right to kill if she believes she's going to be killed. And a batterer's repeated assaults should lawfully be taken as intent to kill. Everybody's against wife abuse, but who's prepared to stop it?

-Andrea Dworkin

#andrea dworkin #nicole simpson #nicole brown #oj simpson #domestic violence

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chee-shep · 7 months

Note

Hello! How are you? I wanted to make a request if it dosent bothers you,about headcanons of kaigaku and genya with a s/o that has a personality like maxi from the novel under the oak tree,like,reader is a person with a speech disability, which has manifested in early childhood,reader stutters and has a difficult time communicating,due this has a very shy personality, partially due to the fact that has been abused by their father since childhood. Reader believes themself to be inferior to others, especially to beautyfull and smart people. Reader is left with the trauma that their father gave them and they flinches every time anyone raises their voice.

Reader was reinforced with the idea that was worthless and useless all their life, and has therefore carried this notion within even into adulthood and deeply resents for not being able to be as strong as wants to be, as thinks that nobody will ever want them and would they understand why.

Reader is easily scared and rattled, is often anxious on how they will act and how others will perceive them, as is worried that people will see them as nothing but a lazy and useless stutterer. Reader is a very private person who rarely tells anyone about their past, and sees themselves and their abuse as shameful and they despises the thought of people seeing them as even more pitiful and weak.

reader also gets flustered easily, even discussing intimate moments with their partner when they are alone can cause them to blush uncontrollably.When someone manages to get their trust reader is a timid and kind person, is soft-spoken and polite to everyone who is kind to them and treat their partner with kindness and respect.

Sorry for writting a whole bible 😭 😭 😭

I’m sorry I passed on Yorichi here, I was far too worried I’d have him to OOC but I got the other angsty boys here for you! Also, sorry Sanemi doesn't have a banner

Both Shinazugawa brothers had an awful father, so Genya gets where your coming from

Obviously Genya turned out differently than you did, but he still understands where you coming from

Genya can seem very impatient but he’ll wait for you

Whether you need extra time to find the right words you’d like to say or need a minute to compose yourself

Genya will work really hard to try and improve your self-esteem

After all, he sometimes has doubts about himself too (breathless boi)

He’s not going to push you to tell him about your past, but if you ever feel ready to tell him he’ll listen

While he feels bad when you get shy and timid, he does find it cute at the same time

Overall, not a bad match

Sanemi

He shared the same father with Genya, so an abusive father isn’t a new idea to him

Sanemi has a bit of tense energy around him, so you might feel nervous a lot

He’s going to do everything he can to ease those feelings for you though

Sometimes he’ll look at you and think about his little sibling, how sometimes they’d be scared and timid

Maybe it’s the nostalgia he feels that brings out that really rare soft side of Sanemi

Most of the time Sanemi finds himself biting his tongue, not wanting to risk upsetting you since he tends to speak loudly, and harshly, overall

He wants the best for you, but sometimes doesn’t know what exactly that is and feels worried that asking you might be stressing you out

Still a good match, but there might be some bumps in the road together

Now let’s be honest, this might not be the best pairing out there

Kaigaku has his high and mighty attitude, and sometimes that can make you feel worse

Now that doesn't mean he’s trying to make you feel worse about yourself, but it’s Kaigaku so it’s bound to happen

Your stuttering can get on his nerves sometimes though

And your shyness kinda reminds of of Zenitsu as well

Though he does like how easy it makes it for him to get your flustered

Sometimes Kiagkau’s brash attitude and tone of voice can rattle you, and it actually happens quite often

Overall, not the best match but you two can make it work

First time writing for Sanemi! Sorry again about Yorichi!

Note: Sanemi was listed on a double request but not this one, it made more sense to lump him in this post since the other request had Genya and Kaigaku as well

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boxwinebaddie · 7 months

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i need to hear about rm!marj

fantastic i love rm!marjorine so much!

( sorry none of this is spelled right its like 7am for me )

so i'll give you some backstory ( which, am i gonna talk too much and probably actually say too much? maybe. but please enjoy your free content, rip ) on dear sweet marjorine, who unfortunately...for most of her life...was b*tters.

i'm so sorry but...marjorine > butters. like, i like butters and everything, but the second i learned about marjorine, i have been a marjorine truther and i cannot write marj as butters ever, so sorry.

putting the rest under the cut, tw for just a lot of transphobia, misgendering, a little violence, gaslighting, psychological abuse

but yes, so marj originated in s.park with bebe, tweak, craig, and kyle.

also, just as a plot notice, a lot of the south park characters that are from south park...aren't from south park in rm, just because it would not make sense for all of sp to be in new york, so i would say a good chunk of the south park characters are not from south park.

obviously lived under the fucking dictatorship of stephen and linda stotch, aka the worst people on planet earth, die please!!!! suffered extremely damaging psychological abuse while living there, was gaslit frequently also...i think...got slapped several times by both parents...by the word of the lord, but they used their hands. DIE!!!

speaking of, the stotches were very staunchly catholic, religious and conservative. marj was raised under those conditions and for a long time was very brainwashed and conditioned into thinking gay people were evil and that not submitting to god was a sin, shit like that. stfu

in elementary and middle school, marj was taken under the 'wing' of eric cartman, but was really just his lackey and side kick, someone to kick around, make himself look better and more powerful. a pawn.

also eric cartman...in rm...was...unfortunately...*retches*...Pop..ular.

he was also a fucking sociopath, so insidiously evil and...without saying too much had a very weird OBSESSION with stan and it was a large part of why cartman bullied kyle so severely.

but yeah, marjorine was basically eric cartmans key chain and punching bag for years and years, but in a very slow manner was watching how the more insurgent kids in south park were acting, starting form opinions that went against what her parents thought, stuff that was frightening and scary to her but...

who is stan marsh but a punk rock guardian angel, right?

( i'm gonna say too much abt the plot...let it happen...shhhh.... )

stan and marj have a really interesting relationship pre-rm, because stan just really sees the best in human beings because hes pure of heart, my love, my life, mi amor, mi vida, and could kind of see thru marjs whole...schtick of going along with whatever one else says, blindly worshipping cartman and called bullshit on it pretty quick.

( marj did...unfortunately have a crush on cartman...sigh...but it was BECAUSE she associated being chosen by him with affection and being special and just...bad bad bad bad bad! BAD! shes a victim :( )

anyways real recognizes real...trans recognizes trans lmaoooo...so i think stan just got marj kinda high or drunk once ( yes at 11 stan had a drinking problem u try living with randy marsh on a farm and talk to me then!!! ) and it all came spilling out, not feeling like a boy wanting to have long hair, feel pretty, etc. yes i feel the exact opposite but i totally understand u and they cried and hugged it was all very nice

( stan at this point is kind of more or less classified as doing boy things, not being 'ladylike' and being a tomboy and shit, ew, that it was a weird phase he was going to grow out of and it was a shame because of how just like...'beautiful' stan is...like stan is so naturally stunning in all my fics, u see him and ur like...Wow. also stan has been out to kyle since elementary school so stan was stan to kyle for a long time even if it was privately...sbfs for life...he was also like Wow )

i'm talking so much and saying nothing and too much. but they had this really cute secret friendship where stan would bring marj all the obnoxiously pink frilly stuff in his closet, dolls and things, jewlery, all deeply cherished and kept in a box by marj...like very precious to her and stan got all her boy stuff and was so fucking stoked bc its just him and shelley omg..i luv them theyre so cute omg

( **WAS shelley....rest in peace shell bell...sorry about that queen... )

stan got marj into like rock music, female guitarists, hes old school so he used to burn cds and play them on his moms walkman, so he made marj cds and showed her interviews and shit...marj played violin in school and was a very good and skilled violinist like first chair, a musical prodigy but....marj wanted to be a fkn rockstar.

stan also stole shelleys eyeliner and makeup and did marjs makeup for her a lot...kyle was also VERY JEALOUS of their relationship, and did nooooot like marjorine growing up AT ALL because he was like that is my super best friend back the fuck up what are u talking about!!!! was convinced stan had a crush on marj...kyle...open ur eyes

but when stan started to be like fuck this I Am A Boy!!!! and i really do not give a fuck about what anyone else has to say about it!!!! just started really going against the grain, cut his hair short, leaned very hard into being like fuck the system, suspect your government, being a bikini kill rebel boy, protesting shit, being a little revolutionary <333

i swear to god stanley marsh was giving the town of south park hell on earth and i am obsessed with him! go off, punk rock king!!!! :')

but it was very inspiring to marj but also....extremely distressing because of all the seriously negative attention and backlash stan got because of it like...whew! my god! moving on!

their friendship reached this boiling point one day where i think stan was having a massive stan(d) off with cartman and the cronies and was like...marj...take my hand...u can do this...in his stanley marsh beanie with his hair all short and messy and the look in his eyes...

and marj just got scared and was like FUCK YOU IM NOTHING LIKE YOU UR AN ABOMINATION GO TO HELL DIE DIE DIE!!! REPENT!

called stan a lot....of really bad slurs....hooooo...it was bad...and pushed him backwards...and.......ahhhhh....jeez....

....i think stan was standing on something tall or on the edge of something and broke his arm? idk he broke something and passed out it was a mess, there was a lot of blood and screaming, stan looked dead omg, kyle was hysterical and broke marjs nose. OOF!

*pep!jimmy vc* W-W-WOOOOORLDSTAAAAR!!!

but ever since then they were Not Friends it was awkward and horrible...she feels A LOT OF GUILT around stans death because she never apologized or made things right with him and, like kyle does, she really goes out of her way to correct people when he gets misgendered post-death and....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :(

she still has the box...of stan stuff...whats left of it...her parents did raid her room and tear it up...she was growing out her hair with the excuse that it was for kids w/ cancer and when they found stans stuff in marjs closet they....ugh...held her down and shaved her head completely bald like yelling bible verses at her TRULY EVIL :(((((

but yeah...marj was stuck in the closet middle-high school, i think her high school career was...bleak...but you know, stan lit that little rebellious streak in her and it just festered, she learned how to play guitar and secretly practiced and got wicked good, snuck off to concerts...i luv her

she had like violin lessons every single day, music, music, music, succeed, succeed, succeed, and it made her really hate the violin. but by the time college rolled around, she got into julliard and her parents were like we will pay for your tuition and all your expenses...under the guise of taking care of her but were just financially manipulating her into being compliant

so marj went to new york, was in school, very depressed, but found liberation in not being watched, being able to go to things, started going to gay bars ( aaaaaa! )

but!!! BUT!!!! ok one night, she was being heckled by this group of awful guys who saw her heading out of the gay bar ( probably in little bit of makeup, a skirt ) and cornered her

AND BEBE STEVENS, TWEEK TWEAK AND CRAIG TUCKER MOTHERFUCKER JUST HAPPENED TO BE HEADING TO THE GAY BAR, SAW THIS HAPPEN AND BEAT THE LIVING BREATHING FUCK OUT OF LIKE SIX GROWN MEN IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

and they just kinda took marj in...their little angel...and little by little her and the blonde squad ( and kyle ) just started to convince her that being who u are is ok...its ok to be trans...celebrated marjs first birthday....when she came out :')

and shes really just been marjorine every since! <3333

also her and kyle made up they both felt really bad abt that whole thing and were like we were kids its ok im proud of the person u became

also as we know, marj is playing violin at julliard but has always been a massive crimson dawn fan ( also yes she does specifically like kenny, she thinks theyre extremely talented, thyere her type im sorry)

ALSO MARJ IS THE FRIEND THATS SO SWEET AND KIND AND ALWAYS DATES THE WORST MAN YOUVE EVER MET AND YOURE LIKE WHY...every time...smh.....kyle tweek and bebe get so heated they dont even pretend to be nice to those men...and when they inevitably break up they have to take turns holding marj while she cries watching romcoms like "HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE" like marjorine his name was Brantley

( yes kenny is the worst...yes theyre my boyfriend...MOVING ON! )

but yes...she saw the crimson dawn call for a new lead guitarist and got bullied into applying for the contest by everyone...also she was very drunk she does not remember making it AND WHAT DOES IT SAY ABT MARJORINE THAT BLACKOUT DRUNK SHE PLAYED BETTER THAN THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE SOBER...my hero...also i do think she played something old school her and stan used to listen to....and i do think he was like That Is Our New Lead Guitarist!!!! like not knowing marjorine used to be b*tters...iconic.

other marjorine things....sweet like cherry pie, the most lovely person in the world, she makes all her own clothes, dresses very cottage core, likes little crochet headbands and long dresses and pretty flowy things, ugh <3 she looks like punk rock taylor swift up there with cd, i love her so bad shes such a hero!!! makes everyone dinner <3 its so good everyone starts crying omg

ALSO SHES TOUGHER THAN ANYONE OH MY GOD WHEN SHES MAD???? KYLE IS SOOOOO SCARED HE STARTS RUNNING if she drags u by the ear its so over...she also is so motherly she will lick her hand and wipe ur face and hold u down...if u have shoes on in the house she'll embarrass u...she really runs that house like the gd navy

ok last thing is that...whats very interesting to me is that stan was out and marj was not out pre-rm...and in current rm marj is out and ravenstan is not out....HOW THE TURNTABLES!!!!

marj is kinda out against her will though because stan is like....untraceable but marjorine has her last name and everything, social medias...her parents i think...cut her off when the news dropped and it was Very Bad

everyone took up extra shifts and is dying to help cover her share of the rent BUT THAT IS THEIR GIRL THATS THE PEOPLES PRINCESS WE LOVE YOU MARJORINE! ANYTHING FOR YOU BABY GIRL!!!! shes veyr scared theyre gonna stop paying her tuition but i think theyre using that as leverage against her rn

shes also getting a lot of very strong support on the internet...and a lot of very extreme hate so its uplifting and scary...her being out on the street used to be scary as a trans woman and now its just...kind of a nightmare tbh

BUT YES

MARJORINE STOTCH EVERYONE!

i said way too much but listen...i am passionate what can i say...enjoy my novel...my deranged energy...live love marjorine stotch baby <3

( also i hope yall think the plot and my world building is cool idk what im doing i hope its sick but i have no idea lmao im crying help aha! )

-uncle nina, having anxiety about rm again but ily marj

#i am too tired to fill in the tags #but oh my god i said way too much abt the plot #but also i love the flashbacks and i love little rebellion boy stan so much like he just made such a mess of sp #also marjorine is so cute to me she endured so much and is still kind i am obsessed with her #PUNK ROCK TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!#BIG FAN!!!! OF YOUR WORK!!!

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nestasgalpal · 2 years

Note

hi! i've seen a lot of discourse around the way that the ic handled the intervention in acosf. i was wondering if you could put your two cents in and maybe explain your thoughts? what options should they have given her, should they have done it at all, ect.

I think the idea itself was a mess. I don't know how SJM expected it to come across, but cosnidering how she framed Feysand across the novel, I don't think she realizes how f*cked up it was. Firstly, because they all talk about it as something they are doing for Nesta, but is instead for Feyre. The worse part is that we are supposed to belive Feyre is doing this as a desperate last try to help her sister, but it was actually Rhysand's idea. We know he has no intention to help Nesta whatsoever, and even talks about Nesta's drinkig problems as an annoyance he has to suffer and pay for. He explained to Feyre previously in the books that alcohol can be dangerous for fae, yet when Nesta is abusing it, the only thing that bothers him is the fact that she is spending his money. When he reads that note to Feyre in public and she starts crying, Rhysand already had the plan formed, so I can't understand how anyone would see the intervention as a well-intended act.

There are 4 people besides Nesta in that room:

Rhysand, who thinks of Nesta as Feyre's evil sister he has to put up with, doesn't want to, and has orchestrated this event. They paint it as something Feyre needs to do and through Nesta's pov SJM describes her as being regal and in control. But not even Feyre doing a good job as a politician is enough for Rhysand to respect her authority and he decides to jump in to make Nesta sit down. Why? Just so she doesn't forget that this is being done from a place of love, of course.

Cassian, who claims to be oh so concerned about Nesta but didn't move a finger to approach her until Feyre and Rhysand told him to (I know Nesta rejected him, but previous to that he says they had gone no-contact after the war, hence the rejection on her end). He even makes nasty comments about how he can smell several males in her apartment to shame her and sexualizes her too-skinny body.

Amren, who has called Nesta a waste of life while knowing she was severely depressed and while being her confident. Amren sluts shames her... you know, to let her know the intervention comes from a place of preoccupation for her and their intentions are to help her.

And Feyre, who has decided her sister's life is something she has a right to decide upon because she is high lady and despite Nesta being a civilian, this is how things are done in the Court of Dreams. I could have believed at least her had good intentions and wanted Nesta to get better, but she went as far as making up a fake law to fool Nesta into believing she had no choice but to do as they said. She purposefully lied to her so she could have her way and lock her sister into a tower because Nesta couldn't be the healed sister she wanted.

You know who is missing? Elain. This is particularly surprising, because what did Nesta tell Feyre would help her?? If Elain went to see her. That's literally what Nesta asked for. But Elain couldn't go because she was disgusted by Nesta's new lifestyle and couldn't be bother to try. She couldn't be in the intervention either, she was busy packing up her sister's stuff before they GOT THE BUILDING DEMOLISHED.

WTF????

The intervention was a shitshow, Nesta was a convict listening to her sentence without a chance of a fair trial. She was deprived of her autonomy and everyone present in that room was only there to witness their revenge on a woman who had *literally* done nothing to them besides not fit into what they wanted her to be.

Now, what could have they done?

First of all, if Feyre or Elain wanted to help Nesta, they could have at least tried what their sister said would make her happy.

They could have had a private conversation/intervention with her

They could have listened to her without judging. Her coping mechanisms were hurting her, and I get that both Elain and Feyre wanted to put a stop to that. But I feel like after finishing the book, none of them really understood why Nesta was doing any of it.

They could have respected Nesta's choices. They went out of their way to prevent Nesta from having options. They sent Cassian to take her there as a guard would, they didn't even invite her in, it was an event she was ordered to assist from the start. They demolished the place where she lived so Nesta didn't have a place to go back to. They sent her to a place she physically couldn't get out of so she would have no choice but to stay there until they decided she could be taken out. They had a vote on whether or not share with her information about herself. Even if the sisters had an intervention in private, they would havehad to be empathetic, explain themselves, and then listen, reason, etc. and I didn't see that respet from them at any point in the books. Teling Nesta she is an embarrassment and then locking her up... that's not an intervention at all.

They could have visited Nesta when she was in the House of Wind. Not like Elain did, to slut shame Nesta even more and make herself the victim of Nesta being depressed, but rather go check on her and her recovery instead of asking Cassian to report on it.

Almost anything they would have done would have been better than what they actually did.

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420pogpills · 2 years

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As a Jewish person this whole thing has been horrible it way some dream fans ignored the anti semantics tweet from Kanye (which zach was mad about) to defended dream. I get being body shamed isn’t nice but login on to a website and seeing a creator like dream replying to a person like that is horrible doesn’t matter if it was a joke I don’t care.

Seeing the people then say it’s not that deep and what he had was worse like they clearly never had to worry about their life’s being threatened. I understand defending dream but in this case I can’t be bothered if the fan base will try and compare body shaming to someone threatening the life’s of Jewish people which zach rightfully mad about.

anon with all due respect, i think there's a couple of things you're choosing to ignore here. i'm assuming the other ask is also from you so i'm just going to respond to this one.

"I get being body shamed isn’t nice" i don't know how to tell you this but dream had someone make a threat against his LIFE severe enough that the fbi got involved. now not only is he less safe with his face being public knowledge, but he also had to deal with some of the worst cyberbullying i think i have ever seen in my life.

you get that body shaming isn't nice? you're right, it's not. but what dream experienced - and continues experiencing daily - is not body shaming. it's intense harassment from millions of people over the world, and most of it has nothing to do with his looks. and ANYONE who encourages that, as a joke or not, is part of the problem. regardless if you are hurt, regardless if you are upset - that does not give anyone the right to encourage someone else's suffering.

this isn't just about dream. this is about everyone. this is about the insanely fucked up and desensitised society that we live in, where people don't give a second thought to telling someone they are hideous, to telling them that they should die or hurt themselves, to posting their leaked private info, even while fully knowing any of those things can affect a person's life permanently. the internet is a place where people like to forget we're all fucking human.

i'm so sorry you're having to see the awful shit that has been said by disgusting people like kanye west. i am so sorry that even after all these years, you're still having to see people engaging in anti-semitism. i'm so sorry that you're hurting, i promise you i do not at all believe you're in any wrong to be upset. but PLEASE take a second to think about who genuinely deserves your anger. because is it dream, who made a mocking tweet to kanye west (in poor taste but he's human who makes as many mistakes as you and i do) who later made sure to clarify he does not support him? or is it kanye west? the people who publicly listen to, and stream his music, giving him the money and the platform that he has, while knowing the horrific things he has said? because you might even have friends who have his music on spotify or your local radio station might play his music when it releases.

i'm not saying you should not be upset at dream, because you are well within your right to be upset with him, be upset with the fanbase, be upset with the world for being what it is today. but please do not try to excuse the encouragement of abuse and harassment someone has experienced because you are hurting too. that's not going to help anyone, that's not going to change anything - but it will serve to continue making things worse.

#ask #anon #cw negative #cw negativity #discourse #long post #tw antisemitism #i am terrified to post this #because i really don't want to upset or offend anyone #i'm feeling a bit emotional so i might have worded myself badly #and if i have i do apologise genuinely #i probably will delete this cause the anxiety is gonna eat me alive lmao #but this is the last thing i'm gonna say on this situation #i wanna keep things positive here #again just to disclaim i am not saying no one should be upset with dream #nor that he's perfect #there's plenty you can criticise him on #but what i'm saying is that his harassment should nOT be excused because of his mistakes #that is all #and again i'm only speaking on dream and zach here #i'm not speaking on the actions of dream's fans #that's a separate conversation #and dream cannot be held accountable for people who support him acting bigoted #he has declared many a times he does not approve of hate and bigotry and prejudice #the blame cannot be on him for the shitty things other people say #unless he actively encouraged it which he did not

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showmethehotpods · 1 year

Text

Rambling about Tumblr and fandoms and topics that probably falls under 'drama'.

I've been regaining more confidence in speaking my mind lately, which is probably in part because I'm not really too involved with a long of things anymore. It does feel like a lot of community that was initially there when I came back to to Tumblr has become disjointed; through people getting older, busier, there's other things going on in life, physical or metal changes.

But I do find myself reflecting. People will say that Tumblr and fandoms have 'always been like this.' But unless I wasn't really in the thick of it, I don't recall about seven to ten years ago, I was so scared or stunted in writing and being present, out of fear of upsetting others, or having my private conversations screencaptured and used out of context.

To me, at least - people and the fandom spaces they inhabit feel like they're becoming very closed off and self-driven. You see more blogs becoming private, exclusive, the idea of 'nobody owes you anything' and block as you see fit. But then, blocking can become a tool for a simple misunderstanding or disagreement, which then gets warped into a he said she said callout culture, where people you thought were close enough to be called friends cut you out with no explanations, no listening to any other sides of the story. The idea of 'roleplayers aren't your friends' becomes prominent, as well as key phrases like 'trauma dumping', or 'love bombing'.

Long lasting connections that endure are rare. We live in the fast and the now, and working through problems or difficulties takes time and patience that not everyone is willing to give. For whatever reasons that are their own. But if something causes conflict, the easiest way is to cut off, wash your hands off it, keep moving on.

It's not something I can do. For better and worse, this emotional side of me gets attached. I'm still reminiscing about roleplays I've had years ago, and only just got in touch with someone I knew 10+ years ago when Gig first started. I keep taking myself on journies of self discovery, self healing, working through traumas and the way my brain works, the way I can respond better. But are still trends and behaviours I don't agree with. And I have that right of opinion just like anyone else, without being campaigned, smeared, or god forbid, death threat anons or threats of posting my location.

We live in times where the above would seem ok, as long as we're protecting ourself and outting 'toxic people'. Much like when I say I might posts anons to publicly shame abusive, hateful behaviour - this is also me being more confident in saying that if I do continue writing on this website - for the better and worse that it can be - I'm going to own my mistakes, always try to do better empathetically and sensitively to others - but I won't be scared into silence.

Even if I'm never part of mass Tumblr followings or circles and keep on the small and at times lonelier path - mental health, the people behind the screen, fostering and preserving connections is something important to me. Moving forward, that will always be my focus.

#🌻 muntalk #Long post #Personal tw #Drama tw #Negative tw #With some positives too #Reflections on Tumblr Culture

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howtocareforbunnyboys · 1 year

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Hi, I have a question. How would someone go about telling their partner they age regress? I wanna tell my partner but can’t find the words. :(

Ooh, that's the age old question, isn't it? "I want my loved one to know and love all of me. How can I become vulnerable with them, and give them the opportunity to love me fully, when rejection would hurt so much worse if they did know?"

[Personal background] First, I want to state that I've actually never been in your situation. I used to regress (I think they call what I did "age dreaming" online now) when I was immersed in an actively traumatic, abusive environment and had no way out. So the bulk of it was in high school. I did regress a little in early undergrad, and then I stopped due to shame, and found other coping mechanisms (for better or worse).

[Personal background] I've been in... 7 relationships? 3 of those were people who were involved in age regression. 3 never found out, and one I told once as a sort of "I used to do this back in the day," and they said they used to too, and we never gave any details or discussed it again. We were at least tipsy, if not drunk, and revealing our traumas and secrets. I wouldn't advise that method to anyone else.

As a result, feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm just a stranger on the internet, after all.

However, here is what I would advise:

If you're going to have them understand you, then you need to understand yourself, at least enough to begin to verbalize what you're feeling. This can be hard! Take your time with it.

Ask yourself these questions, and write down your responses somewhere very secure. It could be a locked Word document, a password-protected blog, a paper journal, anything. It could even be drawings/doodles if you tend to think in pictures. The writing is for you, so you can organize your thoughts, start to verbalize, and catch yourself if you start to spiral or go off topic.

Is your regression voluntary, involuntary, or a mix?

Under what circumstances do you tend to regress?

How do you feel before, during, and after? (I.e., what is your emotional experience?)

What benefits do you gain from regression? Write a pro/con list. (I'm not trying to argue you out of it, of course. It's just to help you understand yourself fully, and to anticipate potential objections and questions)

How do you feel towards that soft place inside yourself that you explore when you regress? (I.e., what is your relationship like with your "inner child")

How are you currently engaging in re-parenting your inner child? How do you fulfill their physical and emotional needs?

I tend to assume that anyone who regresses has experienced, or is experiencing, trauma/abuse. I don't know if that's a fair assumption. I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist. Now, I'm not asking you to dwell on your worst memories; that would be deeply irresponsible of me. However, it would be good for you to be lightly aware of what you're regressing to get a break from, if that makes sense.

This is just good advice for anyone, but try reading the personal bill of rights, and seeing which ones you accept easily, and which ones make you uncomfortable to apply to yourself. This is a link to a pdf version, but it's all over various counseling websites.

What do you want out of telling them? What do you hope they'll say or do? What is the best case scenario?

What is the worst reasonable scenario? (Emphasis on reasonable scenario, not nightmare scenario.) How would you respond to and handle that?

What is the most likely scenario?

Before you decide to tell them, you need to be willing to accept it if they say:

"I need some time to think about this. This is new information, and I'm not sure what I think. Let's stop talking about it for now."

"I feel uncomfortable with this. I understand that this is something that you need, and you do in private, but I don't want to participate or hear about it."

"This is really unexpected. I've never heard of this before, and I'm scared that it means I've never actually known you, because I'm struggling to square this new information with my previous understanding of you. I don't know what this means about your mental health, and what it means about me that I'm attracted to someone who is sometimes a child. This is deeply frightening for me, I am freaking out, and I don't know how to respond."

Gaining new information about someone, especially "taboo" information, can be hard.

How strong is your relationship? How serious are both of you about it?

Regression is a super vulnerable state. It's soft and tender and raw, and you need to be able to trust the hands you're placing it in to be kind and gentle and loving and compassionate.

How do they handle their difficult emotions? How do they act and react when they're frightened? When they're angry? When they're threatened? Betrayed? Stressed? Anxious?......... What I'm getting at here, is that the more comfortable they are being vulnerable with you, the more emotionally aware they are, the less likely they are to lash out if they're threatened or scared by this new information.

------------

Alright, let's fast forward. You've come to know yourself, and what you need, and what you want. You feel confident that if they react poorly, it won't break you. You feel confident that they'll be honest and clear with their emotions, and hear you out and not lash out and hurt you. You have determined that you're serious enough in this relationship that it's worth the risk. You've determined that you're both emotionally mature enough to work through this calmly.

First, make sure they know something of your mental health. Again, you don't have to go through traumatic details, but they should know and accept your baseline stress and distress levels, and be accepting and understanding of any symptoms you are struggling with. <- this is really important, because it tells you that they understand and accept mental differences, and especially experiences that they do not personally have. They need to be able to put themselves in your place, or "walk a mile in someone's shoes" or however you want to phrase it.

(By the way, if they automatically dismiss / denigrate others for liking things that they don't, or having mental illnesses they don't understand... this is a huge red flag and I wouldn't tell them about your regression. They're just not ready for it. It doesn't make them a bad person, but they've got some stuff to work through.)

Next, I'd allow them to see your enthusiasm at some "child-like" things that you've probably been hiding from them. Maybe you pretend you don't love your stuffies as much as you do. Maybe you hide your coloring books. Maybe you tone down your glee when a certain topic comes up, or you tamp down the urge to talk about your favorite kids' show when something reminds you of it. Talk about favorite childhood memories, and say you'd like to go to the zoo again, or you wonder if they still sell that toy you loved. Say you'd like to capture that emotion again, about how free etc you felt at that time. See how they react.

If they shut down the conversation like "yeah, it's too bad we're adults. Kids get all the fun haha, but we all have to grow up sometime" or "yeah but kids are so annoying" that's not a great sign.

If they respond by suggesting more adult-oriented versions of what you liked (for example, if you liked playing with nerf guns or squirt guns, and they suggest archery), that's a neutral sign.

If they respond by sharing their own childlike interests, their own favorite childhood memories, nostalgia, etc that's a good sign because it shows they want to connect with you, and are willing to be vulnerable.

If they respond by encouraging you to go to the zoo with them, to buy that toy you loved, etc ... that's a great sign!

See how they react to playfulness and spontaneity. See how they feel about children. If they're a rigid traditionalist that struggles with playfulness and messy children... again, that's a bad sign.

------

Now, at some point, you'll have done all the prep work you possibly can. You'll have tested how open-minded they are, how accepting they are, and whether they even like kids. At some point, you'll have to decide whether or not they have earned your trust.

How you word it exactly is up to you. You know yourself and your partner best. But I will give you this advice:

1. If you approach something with shame, it prepares someone to react as if it's shameful.

2. Don't put ideas in their head. If you lead with "I'm not a p-d-phile", well, now you've shocked them, freaked them out, and made them start thinking about really nasty things.

3. Be honest and vulnerable with them. Explain that you trust them, and you're telling them this because you love and trust them enough to want them to know all of you, even the non-standard parts. Even the parts that most need love. But that you're nervous about telling them, so please hold you and listen with tenderness. (Use your own words, obviously).

4. Explain about your childhood, what you didn't get but you needed, or when you stopped getting what you needed. Remind them of what's stressful in your life now. Explain what you learned by learning about yourself! How you give yourself, those injured parts of yourself, the unconditional love you need to heal. How you let yourself let down your armor, lay down your weapons, and create a safe place for you to be sweet, and young, and innocent, with no repercussions. That you have this wonderful, precious time all for yourself, and it's really important to you, and you want them to know about it, so that they know all about you.

Do not ask them for anything in that first conversation. You are only asking them to listen, and take in the information, and to not insult you over it. That is it. If they ask to participate, and you want them to, that's great! But it's very possible that they'll need time to even wrap their head around it.

If they later come to express gentle, kind curiosity, then you can say "if you want to, I think I'd be comfortable inviting you into my playspace, but you don't have to" or something neutral like that. Don't put pressure onto them.

And maybe they come, and they enjoy themselves, and they want to play, too! Or babysit! But maybe they don't enjoy themselves, and that's okay, too. You have to be willing to run that risk, and accept that it's not their cup of tea.

------

Personally, I love caring for little ones because, to put it bluntly, I have baby fever. I have had baby fever since I was in my very early 20s, like 22. I want to raise a kid so, so bad that it's actually difficult to articulate. I'm also absolutely not in a situation where I can provide the kind of life for my future kid that I would want.

I find caring for a regressed person to be sweet, and precious, and soothing. I also feel a bit like it's low-stakes parenting because, well. Bunny's already had his first childhood. I can't go back in time and mess it up more, lol. And when he's big, I can discuss ideas and get feedback on past performance, so that I can improve my parenting skills. (He always gives me positive reviews, though, so I learn more from parenting blogs and early childhood development materials.)

I don't know if that's helpful at all, but yeah, caring for Bunny is healing for him, and it helps manage my baby fever (though it doesn't CURE it. I still want to adopt a little baby or toddler or young kid. Like, really badly. )

Hope this helped!

#written by rowan

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furiousgoldfish · 2 years

Text

Abusive parents can sometimes make you feel like you have to explain your every intention, every thought and action to them into fine details, or they'll assume the absolute worst and judge and punish you because 'how were they supposed to know you weren't trying to do the worst shit possible, you didn't explain yourself and your actions could have been misinterpreted'.

This, in turn, can give you a type of anxiety that makes you feel like you owe everyone a big explanation of everything you say and do. It makes you stop and anxiously convince everyone of your intentions, thought process, defend yourself as if they've attacked or misinterpreted you, even give them possible ways to misinterpret, and try to inform them that your actions are, in fact, justified and well-intentioned. Even if nobody challenged you, even if nobody said anything that implies doubt. You yourself conclude that if your parents judged and misinterpreted you so harshly, this must be normal, you have to expect it from everyone, that you have to go and predict it and take measures before it happens, to prevent it.

It makes people notice how anxious and filled with self-doubt you are, and also gives people endless insight in where you're vulnerable, insecure, and where they could possibly manipulate and exploit you. When you give someone details to defend yourself, they're now aware of information about you that you would normally not give to them, you only gave it only because you felt you must, to protect yourself.

This, in fact, does not protect you, it gives your vulnerabilities away. Which is exactly why the abusive parents have been doing it. They invented a scenario where they're entitled to your entire thought process, to every detail of your intentions, everything they could possibly judge, poke at, question, make you doubt yourself more. Abusers you meet in the future will also pick up on it, and target you because they're delighted to have someone displaying vulnerability where usually it would take a lot of trust-gaining to get it.

Abusers, on the other hand, act the exact opposite. They explain nothing, give no insight, no information, and instead demand from you, that you to assume the best. If you don't, you're met with contempt, shaming, humiliation, even rage. If you dare to challenge their actions, it's always your fault for assuming, not theirs for 'not explaining themselves'. You get told that you should have been smarter, that you're dumb, ignorant, shallow or downright hurtful and cruel if you challenge them. Even if their actions are looking very maliciously intentioned, you're supposed to think of a deep, emotional justification and go with that.

They're both extreme responses, one is of extreme vulnerability and defense, and the other is of deceit and offense. There's a neutral middle ground that is healthy – and it's the one of not explaining yourself, but not attacking anyone for challenging you either. Letting people think what they want, safe in knowledge that this time, nobody can hurt you for it. Phrases like 'I'm sorry, that's private', or 'I don't owe you that information' or even jokingly 'that's confidential' or 'yes, I am a criminal on this land, intending to destroy the nation' can help you in the times you're being unfairly challenged.

When you're not, you don't need to volounteer to doubt yourself. People do generally assume that everyone else knows what they're doing. There are some who think nobody knows what they're doing, and you're not gonna convince those anyway. You do know what you're doing, because you're smart, and you have a good reason to do everything you do, even if it feels otherwise, your brain is always on it, always figuring the best course of action. Nobody else could figure your situation out better than you yourself can. This faith in yourself has been stripped off of you, but you deserve to take it back, to boldly do whatever you feel is right, and to allow nobody to strip your intentions to their bones just so they see your vulnerabilities better.

#child abuse #abusive parents #trauma #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #abuse symptoms #over-explaining #anxiety

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tea-with-evan-and-me · 1 year

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Evan should know who his real friends are. I always had a bad feeling about Jeff. How can he still be friends with the woman that treated his friend like shit and abused him? And what are your thoughts about the wedding videos? His friends that were there know how popular Ev is, especially with the succes that the Dahmer show has brought him. They upload the video's on their public Instagram page, knowing that fans will go wild considering Ev doesn't have social media. I remember one of his friends who's a music producer and all of a sudden he started to gain more followers after the wedding. I'm afraid that people in his friends cirlcle are just using him for their own benefit.

first off, i agree that evan should be more discerning of his company. he seems like a very lowkey, genuine dude who gives people the benefit of the doubt even when they don't deserve it.

on a personal level, i side-eye ANYONE who would be willing to maintain a friendship with someone who abused a person they claim is their friend. anyone decent would be appalled. i can understand trying to keep the peace if you're talking about the cast of AHS because they had to work with both emma and evan while these things were unfolding. i'm sure they wanted to maintain peace. but just personal friends doing that sort of thing - i find it shameful.

and i also feel like if you're one of those wedding-goers who snapped a pic with evan - knowing it was a private, non-celebrity event, they should have asked for permission to post it on social media. it also took away attention from the couple getting married. regardless of their intentions, it doesn't look right. yeah, yeah.. i am happy to have the content, and i wouldn't really care except that at least some of these people are supposed to be evan's friends. and real friends would care about overstepping boundaries. so you're right, it would appear some people were just trying to get some likes on IG.

#evan peters

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aceaugust · 2 years

Text

(#2) ♠️When the college's bad boy breaks into your apartment 🌬

Theme: Bad boy, gang-y, quite cold and inconsiderate JK. Straight forward, loyal, hardworking, Reader. (Dk how to describe people lol)

Genre: Gangs, rumours, truth and lies, bullies, mention of abuse, murder, betrayal and insults. ALSO, kinda funny (depends tho lol), loyality, faith and love, backstabbing, gossips. Photoshopping, mention of nudity, shaming. Mention of a notorious serial killer.

Disclaimer: This fanfiction doesn't have any intended connections to the real characters, nor portray their real personalities, nor have anything that contributes to their reality. It's purely for entertaining purposes. Please, don't take anything at heart. It's mere imagination.

¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥

So, as you may wonder, I'm currently in an empty lecture hall, revising for my OOP exam, which's in the next 30 minutes. My heart is pounding like crazy in fear 'cause this subject is damned and I'm done with this major for real. Going over the concepts, tricks, informal notes I made for myself and so on. Trying to keep my mind focused on the exam and ignore the noises out there.

Noises of crying, almost screaming and words of blame. Don't know if I'm wrong, but the speaking voice sounds more like Ruby's, just less high-pitched which's now normal to hear.

"You cheated on me with Tiara?! Tiara, Taylor?! She's my best friend!"

Let me guess, Tiara is that blonde the head of the dancers for the sports' teams? Wow, yeah, I'd expect such a betrayal from someone of Tiara's manners. Sorry, non-existent manners.

Like there was that one time, a group of classmates pulled me into one of the dancers show after the basketball team had won, and there was Tiara. Once her name was pronounced into the mic, she sarted putting on her dance moves which contained one and only aim; sexual seduction, which I shall say, disgusted the heck out of me. From showing too much cleavage to bending over for a butt-show to other moves I prefer not to mention or even remember.

"Cheated?! You're being dramatic, Ruby. It was just a meaningless hookup."

Wow, shameless. I only thought of it like in high school movies, she caught him kissing Tiara in one of the hallways, but oh hell, he slept with Tiara.

"And every cheat you say the same shit! I'm so fucking done with you, Taylor. You ruined my fucking feelings! Turned me into a senseless monster like you and the bitch I called my best friend!"

Their voices are near like they're right behind the door.

A yelp startles me which alerts me to stand up, hurry towards the door. Low whimpers are coming out of Ruby as I expect that he grabbed her physically.

"Oh yeah?! You wanna play this game, lil Ruby? Wanna make me tell everyone where's your dear daddy, Mr. Cullens?! And what's he charged of?! HUH?!"

Wow, is he shaming her?!

A'ight, screw that, I'm intruding.

"Drugs?" I burst out after opening the door wide, noticing his hand go off her hair and Ruby starts to wipe her melt mascara from her tears.

"What?!" Taylor spits back in an attempt to scare me.

"Is her dad charged for drugs?" Ruby's eyes widen in shock as she stares at Taylor vulnerably, in a plead not to 'expose' her.

I've heard about her dad's charges of accusation because Daryl is a journalist and loves spicey cases. He told me that her dad has been sentenced to 10 years in prison and his lawyers have been in a private interview saying that he's innocent and someone must have put the drugs in his office and called the police upon him.

"It's none of your fucking business!" Taylor hisses stepping forward to me.

"It's, when you're blackmailing her into staying with you in order not to expose her. Her dad is in prison? Not her freaking fault. The turn goes to whose dad failed to bring him up appropriately." I hiss back, moving aside to Ruby.

"Ruby is done with you. Go cheapen yourself even more by sleeping with random girls. Screw yourself, crap!" I take Ruby's hand and enter the lecture hall, making sure to slam the door to his face.

I sit on one of the benches, studying her face. After most of the makeup has been ruined by her tears, I shall say she's one decent face. I mean, we're all beautiful of course, but we ruin our beauty with heavy makeup and not bracing our natural looks.

"You shouldn't have stepped in like that. He isn't JungKook who would stay silent to your harshness. If all rumours are on JungKook's notoriety, then be sure Taylor is much worse." She says quietly, with her voice naturally coming out.

My heart beats even faster at JungKook's mention. For the first time, someone said something almost positive about JungKook.

"I'd ask about JungKook, but now isn't the time." I reply, still staring at her. She chuckles sadly, shaking her head.

"I know nothing about him, but I know Taylor so fucking well. He'll screw you in the dark and get you to shut up about it. What makes JungKook slightly better is that he's known as a bad boy, people would simply avoid him and that's it. But, Taylor lures into your life as the sweet, rich, humble boy who'd treat you right. For the end to be cheat, abuse and p-pain." Her voice cracks in the end as I hop off the bench, approaching her.

"Hey, break free. He'd expose your dad's case? So, be it. I've heard that he's innocent and if you're sure about it, then you, too, defend your dad. People judged you? A'ight, be the lone standing wolf. You don't need others to strengthen you, Ruby. No one should say a word into a story that ain't theirs." I lay a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze of comfort.

"I was being a bitch to you, why are you nice to me?" I shrug my shoulders, smiling.

"Maybe I found an excuse for your actions now. But, not the bullying." She nods, smiling alittle.

"Go, there's a toilet at the back. Freshen up, wash your face and come back revise with me. There are 5 minutes left 'till exam." She stands up, walking to the back, as I go back to my seat, settling myself to exam.

》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

"Wait, so I should have used an array?" Ruby nods confidentially, as she sips on her black coffee. I face palm myself, realizing the fact that I just lost 3 points of my exam's grade. Can I cry, y'all?

"It's okay, though. I've made this mistake countless of times before. It's a trick." I nod sadly, mentally calculating the grade I might get for this mistake, making sure I plan the loss of other points to other questions I might have mistakened, too.

"Sometimes, I question myself if this is really my thing." I say, quite disappointed in myself. Daryl has fought alot to get me into this school and now, has lots to pay for it besides his own responsibilities. I can't just get a low GPA and disappoint him like this.

"Grades don't define you. I suppose you're one strong girl, don't believe some letters would determine your own capabilities." Ruby replies, smiling. I nod still disheartened, "Yeah, but companies and fields of work define us with grades, Ruby."

She shrugs as she finishes her coffee, tossing it into the bin. "Well, yeah, but not like you're going to fail. Don't be so hard on yourself." She's probably right, 3 points won't affect my GPA much. It might at 15, but hopefully I'd not make so many mistakes.

"Have plans tonight? Taehyung is throwing another party and I'm dying to cheer up alittle." I give her a look of hesitance. I mean I insulted Taehyung, JungKook and a random dude back there. Don't know if I'm welcomed and would be totally understandable if not. Plus, I already hate parties so, no.

"I'm meeting my brother tonight to have some siblings-time." She nods, patting my shoulder. Well, I could invite her to see Daryl, perhabs he could tell her something that would help in her dad's case.

"Well, if you want to come along and see Daryl. He has lots of details regarding your dad's case. Maybe y'all can help him with something." She looks down sadly, fiddling with her feet.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"No, it's fine. How would your brother know about my dad's case?"

"Daryl is a crime journalist and loves interesting cases. He heard about your dad's and was there during the investiagtion. He told me that your dad might be innocent, but there's no physical evidence showing that."

She doesn't respond, probably processing what I'm saying.

"You aren't trying to expose me to the school by this, are you?" She says, sadly and doubtfully.

My eyes widen as I shake my head no. "No, of course not, Ruby!" She nods, smiling alittle.

She must have been disappointed so many times.

"I'll text, my elder sister, Annie, she's a medical student. She used to spend so much time in dad's office, knows all the secret drawers and stuff. She has more insight about the whole thing." I nod excitedly. Maybe she'd get rid off that shame, clear her dad's name and smack whoever tries to judge her.

"Okay, we'll meet at 7, if that's fine with her."

"Yeah, today's is her break-off, so she's free all day."

"Cool and settled. Let's head to Ms. Grahams lecture, I don't want another lash of her tongue's." We chuckle and rush over the teaching hall.

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"A'ight, fucking shit, Holmes!"

I cringe alittle at Daryl's sudden burst of profanity.

"Mother-! You ruined the whole thing! Man, I've finally caught a glimpse of his face and reported it to the police. Then, you fuck around and leak the photo to your girlfriend?!"

Wow, there's so little percentage that Daryl would NOT blow up.

"Man, for real, cut that shit and delete it from her phone. It's a professional thing! 'Cause I know much better than not to expect you have a bitch of a girlfriend!" Daryl's voice raises even more as his face turns redder.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP, HOLMES! YOUR FAULT, YOUR RESBONSIBILITY! DEAL!"

He hangs up the call, sliding his phone into his pocket.

"Well, ahem, hey bro!" I approach him, wrapping my arms around his torso into a hug. He hugs back tightly, lifting me up alittle.

"I missed you so much. God, I love you, little cotton ball." He whispers into my ear, placing a kiss on my cheek. I jokingly sulk as he chuckles. "I'm not little anymore. I'm a grown up college gurrrl." I roll the 'r' as he chuckles louder.

"Aww, you'll always be my little cotton ball. No matter how 'grown up' you get." He says with his ocean blue eyes shining alittle.

Daryl is like my one and only backbone in life. He has always got my back, defends me, gives me pieces of advice, comforts me. He's the one who taught me to stand up strong and never accept oppression whether for me or anybody else. He practically raised me as our parents were always busy for business trips and stuff. He gives me the love, affection and attention he rarely recieved from them. For me, he's really my everything and I could never risk losing him for anything.

"Yo, where you at?" He snaps his fingers to catch my scattered attention. I smile, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"Was just thinking about how much I do really apperciate you, bro." He acts tough, but when you get to be close to him, he's a little cottonball as well.

"So, we're having a guest tonight. Annie Cullens, the elder daughter of Uriah Cullens. Her sister is a friend of mine and I happened to find out that she's being shamed for her dad's case." I say, fiddling my feet on the ground, quite nervous of his reaction. He doesn't like me being involved in any of the cases he works on, thinking that some criminals would put him on rival mode and hunt us down.

Aaaand that's why I haven't told him about my encounter with JungKook yet. I've told him I attended a party, but cut out the argument's part.

"Yeah?" He says quietly which comforts me alittle. "And Annie is coming tonight, you could get some details from her or her from you...like you guys sort yourselves out. Maybe the man is innocent." As I finish my sentence, Daryl's grin is put on full display. I smile back, not understanding his grin, but happy to see it.

"My cottonball has cut a good long path for me to get an interview with the Cullens." He squishes my cheeks together, kissing them.

Well, it seems that I accidentally helped my brother.

"I'm glad, then." He engulfs me in another hug, swaying us left and right.

"Ahem, pardon moi?" Our little sentimental moment was cut by a shy voice. We turn around to see a brunette with her hair long to her waist, caramel brown eyes, long lashes and petite short figure.

"I'm Annie Cullens, I suppose you're Y/N and you're Daryl?" She extends her hand between us shyly. Daryl rushes to take her hand first, shaking it lightly.

Reading Daryl's expression, I think he's falling in love. Not gonna lie, I find her cute.

"So, y'all, I get easily bored from case studies and stuff like these. I guess I could leave you both, discuss stuff together and find helpful details." I say, putting my backpack on, getting the hint from Daryl's nervousness and Annie's shy smile and blush to clear the air for both. After all Daryl is a gentleman and he could never hurt her.

"You'll find me in my apartment. Have a great time." I wave to them as they do back, walking to the pavement to get a taxi back to my place.

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1:30 AM

"So, for arrays, all elements have to be of same data type, but for structures, they can contain elements of different data types."

I keep repeating the key differences of both data structures to get a grip on them.

It's been like 4 hours since I started studying this crap.

"Obviously, computer science concepts are all about problem solving. Like they encounter a problem of wanting to store different data types in the same thing, so they create a structure because arrays ain't helping at that point."

You know what? I'm hungry. I'mma leave this crap and go get myself some food.

I walk downstairs, petting my sleeping puppy, heading to the kitchen.

Orange juice.

Toasts.

Spready cheese.

Yup, perfect midnight snack.

"Fünf kleine Fische, die schwammen im Meer,"

"Da sprach die Mutter: Ich warne Euch sehr,"

"Ich wär viel lieber in 'nem kleinen Teich,"

"Denn im Meer gibt es Haie und die fressen Euch gleich,"

"Ach du Schreck, ein Fisch ist weg!"

I sing the kindergarten German song, I've learned through my learning process of the language. The language is hard, but fun. I love learning languages beside my studying major, it just makes me feel more alert.

"Hell, where am I?!"

Excuse me?!

I jump, turning around, stressfully scanning the surrounding.

No, I heard that! That was real!

My breath almost stops when I hear those footsteps out in my hall.

"Oh, it's Y/N."

This voice...

It's...

JungKook?!

"Shit, why out of all places, it'd be hers?!"

I sneak out of my kitchen, catching his big black shoes.

It's him. It's JungKook.

He's staring at my picture with Daryl on the wall.

"She has a brother. Ha, they look like twins."

Well, that's true. Alot of people mistakened me and Daryl for twins.

"Your voice has saved you from a big bad back stab."

He sharply turns around with wide eyes.

A low gasp escapes my lips as I scan his badly bruised face.

A cut on the left side of his lips, right next to his piercing. Another one on his right eyebrow. His knuckles are wounded as well.

My eyes drop on the floor, watching blood droplets on the floor.

One

Two

Three

Crap! He's bleeding!

"Are you cut somewhere else?!" I almost yell in panic as he nods.

"WHERE?!"

He motions to the side of his stomach.

Oh, hell hell!

I take his hand, placing him on the couch, motioning for him to lay as I practically run to the kitchen, taking the emergency kit off the shelf, which I miracleously reached easily and hurry back to him.

Giving him a short glance before snatching his shirt off. A low whimper leaves his lips as he shuts his eyes.

"It's okay, think of something good. It's easy, you're fine." I say, trying to comfort him. "I have nothing good to think of." The sad tone lingers over his sentence making my chest clench.

"A'ight, let's think together, then." I say as I dip a towel in water, going over his abdomen which's stained with lots of blood.

"So, you're my senior, right? I suppose you're an excellent one, as well," He muffles a hum when I reach near to his wound.

"My mind is blowing off my head, I can't maintain a good understanding of pointers and their relation with dynamic arrays. Could you give a piece of clarity?" Washing the towel to go over his chest, cleaning it from dust and blood.

"Pointers are basically variables, ah," His sentence stops with a moan of pain. I hum, glancing at him to go on. "T-They contain the addresses of a specific variable they point t-to, hmm," he tries to go on and stops in pain when I start stitching his wound.

"Right? And how to figure them out in a code, for instance?" I keep the conversation going to distract his attention from pain.

"The data type is of the variable it points to. Like if the pointer is pointing to an integer, they're declared of type integer. 'Cause pointers themselves don't have a type." He goes on, semi-absorbed in his explanation.

"Okay, yup, I think I'm getting it. You're good at this. What else?" I catch a small smile forms on his lips as he looks at me.

"After writing the data type, you put on an astrick operator and name the pointer, AH!" He flinches hard, shutting his eyes with his lips quivering.

"We're done so soon, don't worry." He nods with his hand wandering around. I jump alittle when his hand gets a grip on my thigh, tighthening it in pain.

"Alright, that's about pointers, what about dynamic arrays?" I pop the question again, trying tp go with a smooth flow.

"I-It's about solving the problem of arrays needing a determined fixed size. Sometimes, we don't know the size of our elements and need the user to determine it, so we create a dymanic array which's basically, a-ah, hmm...." I look at him, my heart is tightening in my chest at his sight.

"Basically created at runtime, right?" He nods, breathing heavily.

I finish the last stitich, standing up, smiling.

"Cool, you're full of knowledge, Jeon." I say, cleaning up the floor and table, getting ready to cleanse his facial wounds and knuckles.

"You're intelligent, too, Y/N." I feel something weird in my abdomen at his sentence, with heat creeping on my face.

I come back after disposing the bloody cotton and putting the towel in the washer.

I bend alittle to lift his head and put a pillow behind it, so his blood flow would be regular and I could cleanse his face.

"I'm not going to shoot questions when you're in pain, but who beated you so badly? I suppose they had a knife or some sort of a weapon, as well." I ask, genuinely concerned.

He's silent, staring at my face with tired, but focused eyes. I avoid his eye contact, focusing on his face.

"Yeah, a knife." He says shortly, closing his eyes.

"That's dangerous." I state the obvious awkwardly.

"For you." Furrowing my eyebrows, I stop to look at him in question.

"You just saved someone they wanted dead." My face glooms at his sentence, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Whoever they are, they don't determine who lives and who dies." I almost hiss in anger, 'cause I hate it when bunch of criminals with zero ethics think that they could decide in anybody's life.

"You don't know, and you won't want to know." He says tiredly, sighing heavily.

"I don't care to know as well. All I care about is that you stay safe." I catch myself alittle bit protective of his state that I glance at him; to see him smiling alittle.

"Thanks, Y/N." This sounds genuine. His overall speech is normal and genuine, not playful and vicious like it was in the party.

"It's nothing. I, actually, did the bare minimum." I say, looking away from his face, thinking about his words.

He seems truthful, vulnerable and in pain, obviously. Some sick people wants him dead. He might have done some bad stuff to them, but death solves nothing.

It causes pain and grief for petty things that could have easily been solved peacefully. Desires of authority, property and money, do drive people off limits and cause them to be monsterous.

Those who were once good, become thirsty for these, thirst turns into greed, they drive themselves further and further to reach these things and when they do....they become unrecognizable, scary.

"You're off the planet now, Y/N. Don't tell me you're too affected by my injuries." He speaks with hint of sarcasm, makes me furrow my eyebrows.

"What? Like I'm not, TRUTHFULLY?!" I stress my last word quite loudly as he chuckles.

"Won't lie, you seem like you're." He shrugs as I nod in satisfaction that he realizes my genuinity.

"But, is it possible that someone would gloat over your injuries?" It's his turn to furrow his eyebrows with a sarcastic smile on his lips. But, his eyes...his eyes has a flash of sadness on display right now...disappointment.

"Everyone would, without any exaggeration. Who wouldn't wish for the absolute destruction for Jeon JungKook, the fuckboy, the spoilt, the mafia, the...the murderer? Ha, you're making it funnier by thinking otherwise, Y/N."

The way he speaks right now is not like how he was in the party, nor how he was described by almost everyone. He knows the rumours around him and I'm sure, even if he tries to hide it, that it's so bitter for him.

"You know people's talks don't matter. The real question is are you that bad, JungKook?" My voice autmotically turns low and soft as if I'm approaching a castle...a castle made of glass, too afraid for it to shatter.

He starts to flutter his eyes open and close as he smiles faintly.

"I'll leave it a mystery 'till we meet again, Y/N." And by that he shuts his eyes, ready to drift into a deep slumber. I stand up slowly, leaving him on the couch and cautiously, walking up the stairs to my room.

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Ding

"What?!"

Shooting up upright, I turn to the alarm with enemy eyes, turning it off.

"Can't you just shut up?! It's literally five in the morning." I say, arguing as if it's a real person.

Wait, JungKook! Let's check up on him.

I put on my slippers, fixing my hair with my fingers as I walk down the stairs.

"Good morning, Jung-....JungKook?!" He is nowhere on the couch.

"JungKook?!" I call again to meet utter silence. Checking the kitchen, he isn't there as well.

He left.

It's literally 5:10 am, when did he leave when I left him on 2:30 am? Is he insane?

"Fine, Jeon, whatever you like." I lowkey sulk, standing up. My aprubt stand causes a piece of paper to fly away to the kitchen.

"I remember cleaning before bed?" I go and reach to it.

Hm, it's folded?

Opening it, it reads :

"Yo, it's 3:55 am right now, in case you wanna know when I left. I just wanted to thank you for keeping me here, stitching and all. I had to leave 'cause I wanna cause no trouble to you whether by the fuckers after me or your brother coming by, thinking you're having a guy in your place behind his back or something. So yeah, bye.

JungKook."

Well, that's kinda sweet of him. He stopped alot of overthinking by this note. "Will we meet again, JungKook?" I fold the note back to the form he did, planning on keeping it. Plus, his handwriting is decent though, ha.

I started to see him differently which scares me alittle. What if I'm wrong? What if it's just all messed up and stupid? What if they're right?

I don't know, let's just brush off these thoughts and get ready for college.

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"Yeah sure, Daryl," I walk with Daryl on the phone, telling me to stay safe 'cause he's travelling out of country for his job's thing.

"Don't worry for real. I'll keep you updated and you, too, okay?" He says "yeah" as we say our goodbyes and hang up.

I'm missing you already, Daryl.

Stepping inside the campus, I notice everyone on their phones, I mean, more than usual. I shake it off, looking for Ruby to tell her about the things Daryl found about the case.

I look through the hallway to find Ruby, her face colour-drained, on her phone ad well.

What's wrong with y'all?

"Y/N! Finally, you're here!" Ruby hurries to me, taking my hand, dragging me aside.

"Woah? What's wrong?" I ask, my eyes falling on her phone screen.

Oh...

"What the fuck are these photos?! I can't believe they did that! Who even?! Oh my God, I'm freaking-"

"Woah, chill, calm down, let's see what kinda crap we're on now."

What's the crap?

Photoshopped, naked photos of me on everyone's phones.

But, guess

Lies got no breath.

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HEY! I'M EXTREMELY SORRY FOR BEING SUPER LATE. EXAMS, PRACTICAL ONES AND RESULTS.

MA PUPPIES ARE DRIVIN ME CRAZY AS WELL, SO YEAH LOL!

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS PART AND PLEASE, COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS, I'D GLADLY READ AND RESPOND 🌬❣️

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#bts #fanfic #jungkook #taehyung #jungkook x reader #imagines #y/n

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