#actions are in defiance of a system that protects their abuser

[horizon-verizon]

According to TG, the system somehow protects Alicent & makes her son, a serial rapist, a king & her deranged fans really wants to see that incompetent monster in power as a reward for her longtime suffering, so fuck all the other women whom he will continue raping and the lowborn children he will continue abusing, as long as Alicent is happy.

Yeah, that's what it comes out as. Others might counterargue this by saying that Aegon's council will temper his absurd predatory behavior, and to that I say that his mother and sister couldn't stop him from doing it while he was a prince/his dad let he roam wild/his brothers are either physically or emotionally too distant and uncaring so how is a KING Aegon II going to be "held back" in lieu of his having more power and authority around literally everyone around him?! No one in that council would be able to check him! They all underrank him! And the guy dismissed Otto Hightower, his own grandfather, after yelling at him at least twice for not being violent and effective enough to bring him quicker results, so he made Criston his Hand! Criston, who of all the people there was the worst choice! Plus Criston was a military-head... we appointing military heads for administrative and nonmilitary assignments now?!

While his mom and sister stopped him from going berserk at the council:

he still went berserk in the first place for them to have to do anything

it shouldn't be their responsibility to check him; he is responsible for his own emotional control skills

how often and well can each woman stop him from doing some reckless shit before he himself orders their confinement to do his own thing once he gets to a certain place of frustration & anger?! who is to stop him then? the bloodthirsty Criston Cole? The cautious and self-preserving-by-compliance Tyland Lannister? Dead Lyman Beesbury?! The cowardly grandmaster Orwyle?

Aegon is the one to threaten to throw his own Grandmaester and anyone who seems to defy him regarding Rhaenyra's "defiance"...as if the sound advice the maester was giving him wasn't sound!

If they say "2 canons" bullshit again, I will say to them that for the show to completely remove it and to vacuum all of this is to really give us some 5-year old action-figure playtime nonsense (if they haven't included this in the second season, who knows, and even then it's probably so unsatisfactory bc it's missing crucial details as they did with Criston making as if the V boys were going to be sexual predators just bc Laenor was gay in the same breath as calling those boys bastards and not Laenor's sons). It means EVERYTHING for us to hear and see all these things, to contextualize Aegon as Rhaenyra's foil, and to present him as the product of patriarchal privilege and evil.

It is not "complicated" at all for Aegon to be less patriarchally privileged and angry and entitled than he is meant to be for the sake of making Alicent appear his main abuser and direct cause of evil; for the sake of making his sexual assaults appear "poor little rich boy" syndrome; to remove most of his most frantically-charged dialogue for "stoic" and "put upon" silence as he walks "begrudgingly" to the Dragonpit makeshift platform.

It's actually really simple, amoral, without the benefit of actually being emotionally charged (plus and consequentially boring): in vacuuming out these lines and behaviors, they are both making the story less about the wrongfulness of the misogyny leveled against Rhaneyra and male privilege Aegon has, and more about "both sides", which reduces misogyny's presence and the need to critique it. Fulfilling a very conservative sense and agenda.

[pluralsword]

The "would you choose gendering a trans person correctly or nuclear war" question is disingenuous transphobic crap.

We would instead be more interested in the question, for fellow gender expansive people who want or have done trans gender affirming procedures, especially ones who started or would have wanted to start back between 2016-2020; "would you prefer if the protections of the Affordable Care Act for trans health be expanded further sooner by executive action in 2016, then rolled back in 2016 by the next President, trans health stuff getting some court support in 2020, and not expanded again to end of Obama era protections by executive action until 2024 but now with shitty religious exemptions for insurance companies opposed to it so wtf Biden like in our timeline...

...or would you prefer the Madam Secretary timeline where it is unknown but likely that such an expansion would have happened after President Conrad Dalton's administration's second term (2016-2020) as an independent cooperative security post-structuralist enviro-energy independence feminist centrist lib-con government that supported LGBTQ+ rights and helped establish support for the presidential candidacy and late president of Elizabeth McCord who helped secure the passage of the Equal Rights Ammendment, completely outlawing sex discrimination and thus, by court and executive precedent, gender discrimination, and in that way securing the right to trans health as a near constitutional right. Instead of having had a fascist in office for four years who terrorized trans people internationally?"

(please note, the show never really has a moment iirc of talking about trans healthcare, rewatching currently in part to confirm this since the wiki is rather incomplete, but LGBTQ+ rights do come up in both terms of Dalton's presidency within the realm of how to respond to international atrocities in other countries, including a NATO ally. It is our opinion that if something hadn't been done about expansion of the ACA before Kat Sandoval joined Secretary McCord's staff, that this likely would have happened at that point if not in 2020)

Now, we don't actually expect people to answer this, since we know it could be painful for people for whom gender affirming care between 2016-2020 and in particular in 2016 was a life or death issue. For us it was, we started HRT in 2019 after having to make a lot of effort and our eldest headmate risking her life to be able to get that for herself, but xey had access in a state where trans healthcare was protected by state law.

Trans people get hurt and die in either scenario, and are more likely to be traumatized by the medical system at different times in either scenario. which is a cause of deep sorrow. We don't think there's a right answer in a 'yay, utilitarian calculus says trans people are happier' way.

What we do think is that, personally, if we had to sacrifice a year of HRT for a world where equality for people across gender would be on track to become a guaranteed without legal interpretation constitutional right much sooner than, I don't know, a decade after the whole fiasco of 2016 through the 2020s IRL where even existing as a trans person and education about the vast history of gender has increasingly met constitutional crises and the rise of firings, unemployment, abuse, arrests, suicides, and killings of gender expansive people and their loved ones as part of a last gasp of the international far right to hold on to power as hierarchic structures collpase, not to mention the assault on reproductive rights and the rights of women and people with uteruses generally, I would give up that year of HRT. If it meant that a genuine moderate Republican had taken office in 2012 and due to being one of the last of his kind in a party well on it's way to fascism as the party line, and that he would be encouraged to uphold the more inclusive value system he believed in by his Secretary of State in defiance of his party and later as an independent, and that fascist party took a blow to it's electoral power sooner as a result, and would be followed by said Secretary running for President as a Democrat in 2020 on a genuine feminist philosophically liberal (so not a neolib and actually giving a shit about human rights and market regulation) platform, we as an anarcho-socialist defensive pacifist system would much prefer that.

This may or may not be a criticism of the Democratic National Commitee's whole approach to the last two Presidencies, and in particular the way it stumbled through the primaries this year. And it may or may not be commentary on the ongoing genocide in Palestine, since there's zero ways a President McCord would have handled that as badly as the current President, and certainly wouldn't be backstabbing trans people repeatedly in order to try and court some hypothetical moderate transphobe voter (in a country where moderate usually mean right winged at this point, for both parties) to win the presidency in 2024 rather than trying to court the votes of people across backgrounds who know that radical change is needed or who are not as politically informed but are fed up with things as they are and could use some hope. Biden is not promising a 21st century New Deal, or the ERA, or anything. There isn't even a coherent stance on how to oppose and dismantle fascism in the USA (not to say that people aren't trying to get that across or want that to be the message that's a different story). Honestly confounded at the whole thing and wondering if we had gone to grad in political theory instead of what we did and plugged into the whole electoral politics thing if we could find out why the centrists of the DNC seem, at least until Biden's first presidential debate this year, so eager to not galvanize a united front for promised actual change and more put off by allying with socialists (which is a normal alliance in many other countries!!!) than joining us in being targets for execution and other atrocities by the fascists they're running against? What gives?

[doesnetflixcostthesameusingvpn]

can you select north korea in tunnel bear vpn

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Select North Korea

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[doctor-dream313]

Choosing the lesser of two evils is not a valid option for a single reason. You have a lot more to choose from self advocacy and your freedom of action with the stand of distinction between you're morals,values and the theft of these from the same people who swear service feably with lies attached. not only is it sacreligeous to the republic and its heroes that bleed for its success, also its reason to treat its tresspassers with a ultimate solution for a single morally justified and isolated intent of cleansing. The right and more also the expectation of the citizens who are looking at the end of its rights and barriers standing vigil against tyranny becoming a political giant for totalitarianism rule. The first choice is usually the wrong choice but the way is better than the hapless one that tolerates the world of death and aggression and protection of these abusive people. Hidden away in their palaces built of superior fecund views, outlined in their court defiance, that's lacking regulation of a Governments overreaching hand of oppression and cruelty. The answer is that of a beautiful world. You know the cost of living within a constant state of conflicts but it will be a light burden compared agaimst the regime of war. leading in the middle east, was the only thing left to salvage national security forces and a possible reality check in public opinion of interest groups and the absence of diplomatic relations will have the ability to drive back dark lines of conflict between the people of the united states of America and the united nations to discuss how, despite a very effective manipulation systematically conducted by our national intelligence agency and public services. The answer is still alive in factual evidence. based on a preliminary analysis of data and results from our national research, concluded that we only make the best possible results possible by warning the population to remain on a virgin ass end of the fucking war zone and then get the american people who supply the workers and candidates for their political partie agendas derailed by infrastructural arson debilitating effects of their outside world trade center. The first thing that devalues is that of the psychology and mental abstraction that the people inside the system have been made to endure. till they get a direction in the future of a physique and stature befitting a new profound reshaping thought. process of a possible solution will be sure to ensure the rejuvenation and removal of synthetic identification implanted by the tyrants into that of a beautiful designed and very specialized freestanding system. They have only got the first thing acomplished the world they are fighting for beholds. Evident truth that we have the ability and power of Olympians against the tyranny of our mountain of accumulated evidence of abuses and abusers rift with political malfeasance. fitting the England queen its very own declaration again this time exerting the loop so as not repeated is cut off and the boat is destroyed forever. To match it with desire and make some sense of belonging with the freedom of the American land. We have quite the most savage of all Strengths and abilities to make them count on a road trip to hell quality in the first class expedited by a group of folks who earned their first objective universal right to be the same individual as the man in the office of their governing body. No one is above the rules of human rights. that is to not be given into letting Ill befall or any harm on another caused, if at least no good can be done.

[cadisflya]

i love ur portrayal of will! he stays true to his duality of fascinating and somewhat doesn't deserve this shit but also rancid.

that really is the balanace tho—the heart of the horror. will is, at his core, a rancid little bastard. he is also, at his core, someone who feels a powerful protective urge over the vulnerable. he wants to punish those who abuse their power over vulnerable people, especially those who betray the basic principle of not punching down. that is, in itself, a heroic impulse. the PROBLEM is that will graham believes that /his/ view of the world is singular, and his self-imposed ‘non-humanity’ makes him a thing who stands outside of humanity, and he believes that /his/ understanding of who does and doesn’t deserve punishment is really the only understanding that he genuinely values despite the fact that he is perfectly able to understand the conceptualizations of others.

we call will an ‘empath’ and yea conceptually, theoretically, that is true. he is able to conceptually cognitively empathize with almost anyone because his imagination is so strong and his natural and educated insight so remarkably keen—but the fact that he can understand and even emotionally reconstruct the experience of others doesn’t mean he actually values those experiences and it doesn’t make him a decent person. empathy is not inherently sympathetic and it’s not inherently altruistic, either. the only other perspectives he honestly cares about are those of the people he considers dear to him who are people in which he identifies elements of himself. hannibal, alana, abigail, bev and margot to a less intimate degree. a lot of time this value is actually a recognition of self, and the pieces of himself he sees in others are what he identifies as valuable—that’s a basically rancid concept if you really analyze it, but we all do it, and it just happens to work out that because he has felt vulnerable, he identifies with the vulnerable, and what’s to punish their abusers. that’s righteous, and poetic, and makes him an appealing character.

problem is that, in order to punish those abusers, he wields the exact same tactics that those abusers think are ‘theirs’, he weaponizes the manipulative tactics people have tried to use against him, and he is willing to manipulate those he wants to protect in order to protect them. AND he still considers himself ‘outside’ of others and, thereby, above them. it’s why angels are monstrous, why monsters are monstrous. he feels communally with hannibal who employs his own form of righteousness that is simply based on different value perceptions. rancid value perceptions, rancid in ways that he is also rancid and in some ways that he’s not. we say again y’all, it’s all a matter of taste. that’s the crux. you cannot attempt to moralize those who act outside of communal morality. will is bad. hannibal is bad. there is no argument that will make them good. this is all still poetic, sure, but it’s why it’s horror. it’s horrible. because we have to say ‘damn you are rancid but you also move me and sometimes you kind of make sense’, when we see margot and alana murdering their abuser we say ‘hell yeah’ even though, objectively and by the communal values of society, it’s horrifying. because it’s both horrifying and not, it’s both terrorizing and absolutely righteous. the isolation and prioritization of one perspective over another is the way that the person constructing the narrative manipulates the way the narrative is perceived, and the show is a masterclass in that. trying to moralize will graham means you’ve fallen victim to that narrative. will is a murderer, point blank. he’s also a bitch, point blank, like he’s mean. what we see in him is the part of us that has been raw and vulnerable and vicious, and that’s a human part, too, and being moved by that vicious righteousness and its otherness, wanting to justify it, is what makes horror such a fascinating genre.

[idkhowtopickausername]

I kind of wish that the contrast between Sasuke and Itachi had been utilized more. Itachi represents a lot of the problems with the shinobi world. He’s been traumatized and manipulated and then he proceeds to traumatize and manipulate Sasuke, he rationalizes his own cruelty and abuse of Sasuke with the shinobi ideals of “protecting from the shadows” and doing it “for the greater good,” and he’s referred to throughout the series as an ideal shinobi/hokage. His genjutsu abilities and manipulation of Sasuke are built on lies and deceptions, both literally and aesthetically, and he even admits out loud that he made the mistake of lying to others and himself. He’s both a victim/product of the shinobi system and an agent of it, and he believes that the village should come before his clan. He’s dedicated to the secrecy and deception that the village relies on to preserve its image, and his love for Sasuke, much like the hokage’s/village’s love for their “family” of shinobi, is both hurtful and objectifying.

Sasuke, on the other hand, is incredibly honest and upfront--he rarely deceives people or tries to manipulate them and actively tries to avoid being manipulated himself. He’s loyal to his clan above the village, he rejects the village’s ideology and value system, and he’s incredibly honest with himself about most things as well. He’s able to express the anger and defiance of Konoha that Konoha wants it’s shinobi to suppress.

I wish that Itachi had been used to represent the cruelty of the shinobi system and the ways in which it’s perpetuated, while Sasuke breaking away from that and choosing to directly oppose it was conversely framed in a positive light. The futility of Itachi’s actions--the fact that despite his justifications they led to nothing but further violence and pain, the abusive way that he attempts to “protect” Sasuke, and the idea of him representing what a shinobi/kage should be, should have all served to thoroughly condemn the hypocrisy of the shinobi system and legitimize Sasuke’s desire to dismantle it instead of inexplicably being used to glorify both Itachi and the shinobi system.

[chiseler]

The Chiseler Asks Noam Chomsky About Israel-Palestine

Yesterday, May 24, 2021, Daniel Riccuito of The Chiseler conducted the following email interview with Noam Chomsky.

Daniel Riccuito: This latest assault against Gaza seems contradictory: both part and parcel of Israel's abiding agenda and more obviously cynical, bearing no relationship to the usual talking points about national defense, etc.  Is it wrong to overestimate public opinion as surprisingly informed, seeing through Israel’s state propaganda more swiftly this time around?

Noam Chomsky: Each time Israel launches some barbaric act of terror, its sophisticated Hasbara system faces a more difficult task of justification, and its grip on popular opinion weakens.  The horrors of Israel’s latest war against the civilian society in its Gaza prison are impossible to suppress, so propaganda seeks to restrict attention solely to Hamas rockets attacking innocent Israel in an act of unprovoked aggression:  every country has a right to defend itself, and in self-defense Israel has been remarkably restrained considering the nature of the Hamas attack.

That still works in some circles, but fewer than before.  Though the media do not convey anything like the hideous reality of Israel’s murderous strangulation of Gaza or the regular brutality of the Israeli occupation in the West Bank, nevertheless a fair amount is seeping through, a good deal more than before, enough for many to dismantle the propaganda line.

Yes, Hamas is a pretty awful organization and Palestinians deserve much better. But there are ways to deal with its rocket launches.  The narrow answer is to eliminate the reason for them.  Many are aware that they were fired in retaliation for Israeli crimes in Jerusalem, particularly the military attack on worshippers in Al-Aqsa.  Hamas announced a deadline saying that unless the attacks stopped by then it would retaliate with rockets.

The more fundamental approach is to end Israel's vicious imprisonment of Gaza, which has rendered it virtually unlivable, without even potable water, let alone any hope for decent survival.  A brutal jailer and torturer is hardly in a position to ask how to defend himself from occasional resistance by the prisoners.  I think more and more people are coming to understand that, despite intensive suppression of the background, which continues.

Along with the limited reporting of the barbarity of Israel’s periodic assaults, the deepening recognition of Israel’s exploits in the illegally occupied territories and within its borders is making it harder to sustain the image of the embattled guardian of democracy and righteousness in the region.

Daniel Riccuito: Is the solidarity among geographically divided Palestinians (East Jerusalem, Gaza, the West Bank, and within Israel) wholly unprecedented?

Noam Chomsky: Not unprecedented, but taking new forms as circumstances change.  One change, which has received some notice, is the further “Judaization” of the few cities where there still are remnants of the mass expulsion of Palestinians in 1948, “mixed cities,” so-called.  Resentment of the further marginalization and repression of the Palestinian minority seems to have been a factor in the protests there against the Israeli actions in Greater Jerusalem, initially dispossession of still more Arab families in Sheikh Jarrah, then the assault on Al-Aqsa worshippers, among other events.  One was Israel’s decision to prevent East Jerusalem participation in forthcoming Palestinian elections for the first time, in violation of its commitments under the Oslo accords, another step in Israel’s imposition of its nationalist-religious agenda in the Greater Jerusalem it has established, a core part of the Greater Israel project it has imposed throughout the West Bank.

Daniel Riccuito: I won't ask for predictions, but are there specific opportunities available, here and now, to those committed to seeing a semblance of justice for Palestinians?

Noam Chomsky: There definitely are opportunities.  For the first time, there are calls in mainstream media for cancellation of US military aid to Israel along with congressional legislation calling for conditioning such aid (Betsy McCollum).  These are openings that can be pursued well beyond.  This unparalleled aid to Israel is in violation of US laws that bar aid to military units engaged in systematic human right abuses.  The IDF provides many candidates.  Many Americans can come to understand that.  Even a threat to the huge flood of aid could have major policy repercussions.

A more far-reaching issue that should be highlighted is Israel’s nuclear weapons programs.  The US pretends not to know that they exist, for good reasons.  Abandon the pretense, and serious questions arise about whether all US aid to Israel is illegal under US law because of Israel’s development of nuclear weapons outside the framework of international arms control agreements.  By bipartisan agreement, and media complicity, that crucial matter has been effectively suppressed.

And it is crucial.  A lot is at stake, quite apart from the legality of US aid to Israel.  One obvious matter is a nuclear weapons-free zone in the Middle East.  That has been strongly supported for years by the Arab states, Iran, the Global South (G-77), with general support in Europe. It is regularly vetoed by the US, most recently Obama.  The unspoken reason, of course, is what I have just described: protecting Israel’s illegal nuclear weapons system, and arguably illegal US aid to Israel.

A ME NWFZ with effective inspections is entirely feasible, as we have seen before Trump dismantled the Joint Agreement on Iranian nuclear programs (JCPOA).  It would go far beyond the JCPOA in ending alleged concerns about an Iranian nuclear threat.  It would end any shred of justification for the vicious US sanctions on Iran, to which Europe is compelled to conform.  It would end a very serious threats of escalation to major war.  It would lay the basis for punishing Israel for its campaign of assassination and sabotage against Iran, and its threats of much worse.

In brief, such initiatives could have major consequences.  All matters that would be of much concern to Americans if they knew about them.

There is a lot more that can be done.  Choice of tactics is no trivial matter, a consideration that should be second nature to activists.  The choice must be based on realistic assessment of existing circumstances – not what we might like them to be, but what they are.

Existing circumstances in Israel-Palestine are not obscure.  For 50 years, Israel has been systematically creating a Greater Israel in the West Bank in which it takes for itself whatever it finds of value while bypassing Palestinian population centers so as to avoid the dread “demographic problem”: too many non-Jews in a “democratic Jewish state,” an oxymoron more difficult to sustain with each passing year.  There is no need to run through the details, evident on the ground.  Greater Israel is so closely integrated into Israel proper that Israelis are barely aware of the international border.  The creation of Greater Israel has been undertaken in brazen defiance of Security Council resolutions and in perfectly conscious violation of international law.  It has been advanced across the Israeli political spectrum, with only marginal opposition.  Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin, for example, were among its most forceful proponents.

Discussion of tactics and options is meaningless unless this reality is recognized.  In particular, current 1-2 state debates are empty unless the Greater Israel option is recognized.  As long as the option exists, we can be confident that Israel will never consider disappearing in favor of “one state” --- that is, a Palestinian state with a Jewish minority.  Nor is there any force in the world supporting this, or likely to be such a force in the foreseeable future.

Tactics therefore have to be directed at undermining the Greater Israel option. There are many possibilities: an arms-trade embargo conditioned on terminating this project, for example.  Insofar as that can be accomplished, other options can be considered.  I won’t proceed here but it takes little thought to recognize what the possibilities are.  What is important is to keep all of this clearly in mind in devising ways to reach some tolerable settlement, one that can be a basis for moving on to something better.

[promiseiwillwrite]

Tod/The Giant Mass of Limbs and Teeth

So while I was running, I spoke with one of the people that is New in my head.

I've been trying to patch things up with Jormungandr for a while, and Tod was Growling at him.

In Tod's Defense, Tod represents a protective need to control my surroundings, including other people, to defend me from injury.

He is PARTICULARLY angered by emotional injury to me intentionally or accidentally by others.

He thinks that Rigidly controlling my Behavior (TJ's old job) that He can prevent my emotional investment in others, and thereby prevent vulnerability to those who would harm me.

This is all a system that developed in me back in childhood that is very clearly wrong, and Tod was trying to clearly state some of the misconceptions on which it was based today.

Mistrust is something that I feel a Lot.

Whether a person has done anything for me to legitimately feel mistrustful of them or not.

And it doesn't take much to aggravate Tod.

He spent most of his existence living in TJ's stomach, with a Megalodon Tooth shoved into his Heart.

He was Quite Aggravated by nature.

But Now that I have taken him OUT of TJ's Stomach, and Taken the Megalodon Tooth out of his heart...

He is just Tod. He looks like a Normal guy. Unless I am threatened, and he goes right back into his Metaphysical Horror form.

He said he had listened to the Podcast today, that we listened to, "UnF*ck Your Brain" with Kara Lowentheil.

The Podcast was about changing Catastrophic thoughts, and how to sort of learn to back down from level 10 to at least level 9 by just practicing giving your mind something else plausible to work with besides the old neural Rut.

I think I believe that if someone hurt me before, that they will definitely hurt me again.

I definitely believe that of myself. I think if I hurt someone before, that they should never trust me again, and that I do not deserve to be trusted.

And that is Kind of Why Tod exists in the first place, To keep me from being hurt again...

But he sees a few things now.

You cannot control other people.

You cannot assume their emotional reactions or responses.

You CAN control whether or not you are hurt by the words and actions of others by deciding who you are in relationship to their actions.

And we HAVE to believe that people can Change. We just Have to. That means ME, and it means Everybody.

He says that he sees me emotionally investing in Jormungandr in order to solicit the desired change in him, but he says it doesn't work that way.

It feels true when he says this. I have been very hesitant to open my heart and my arms to him again. He says he wants that. But I am not sure what more he could really want from me. I don't know what power there is to be gained from me. I don't know what other motive he could possibly have, Other than to control me.

But then isn't that exactly what I am doing?

I feel like this is part of why I got into a huge fight with Rath a long time ago.

Part of why Touelea is still at odds with me. Perhaps that is the connection. I pulled a Buffalo tooth out of His heart.

Perhaps he and Tod are connected in more ways than one.

I thought a Lot about Houston today.

And The Things I have felt for and about him.

Things I thought quite some time ago, that are attached to some rather strong emotions, and more than a little defiance. From back when I was very deep in my problems about Ryan.

I think that I experienced an exaggeration of emotion, much like my attraction to Skyler, that defied all logic and rational Hygiene in the case of the latter.

I have also worried about Ryan's willingness/ability to give me the Intimacy that I have wanted.

But then, I have to be open and receptive and objectively able to reciprocate as well, and that has Not been the case with me very much in the last four years.

And definitely a large share of that sits at my feet.

I feel like all these things are connected.

It is not a coincidence that they have all been in my mind today.

Oooo

So I looked really hard at my idea map for a while.

I looked at the things I wrote above, and the things I wrote on the idea map about the Jobs of Both Tod and Touelea.

And they are similar.

One has a vested interest in protecting me from being victimized by others.

Another has a vested interest in protecting me from emotionally investing in others, AND making Mistakes.

The common thread is the idea that I will be victimized and rejected if I make mistakes, and that If I am Vulnerable because of an emotional investment in the person I have wronged, or if I Invest in the Wrong Person, as I have before, that I will Be HARMED, abused, abandoned et cetera.

And I can combat these ideas.

For instance, I don't have to be a victim. The people in my life do not want to harm me, and Do care about me. And I can take care of myself. I can trust my discernment. I can protect myself from people who would hurt me.

I Won't be abandoned by people I invest in, not every time, and some people not at all. The most important ones would have Already Left by now if they were going to do it.

I Will make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. But it doesn't mean that Everything is Ruined forever. It doesn't mean I am Bad, or Stupid, or Invalid, or Unworthy of Love.

Perhaps it even means that I need More love during those times.

And I think it means that Me, Wanting Intimacy is not wrong or bad, but that my assumption that Ryan doesn't want it IS wrong AND bad. (as in, bad for me, like cigarettes) It lets me think of myself as a victim, and hard done by, in this relationship where I am not wanted or valued, and I see sharing intimacy as an expression of the other person Valuing me.

It is making the behavior : {Seeking intimacy outside our relationship} logical and makes it feel both urgent and necessary, and when I get it it makes me feel alive like Breathing after holding your breath for a really long time. Because I have been Refusing Connection with Ryan because of the Thought that he Doesn't want it. Which is in turn connected to Boundary injuries in Childhood and Parentification by my parents. My Life Depended on them wanting me, and I could not understand anything but the active expression of that.

But I have Value without Ryan.

And Ryan doesn't have to DO anything to value me. He just Does because he Loves me.

And He Does want to connect with me, and be intimate with me. I just have to look for that, and be willing to see that. And willing to go After it.

[qsdblogging]

10 More TV Shows You Need To See

This is the second installment of my recommendations of shows for you to add to your own lists. I watch a lot of television and I’ve got, what I consider to be at least, a wide variety of shows under my favorites. 

If you haven’t seen the first list, you don’t need to unless you want to see another list of ten shows you may want to check out if you’re looking for anything new to watch.

Warning, though, some of these don’t end the best way and may end up more as a disappointment. I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

I. Warehouse 13.

Pete and Myka, U.S Secret Service Agents, are deployed to South Dakota’s Warehouse 13 with a new assignment from an authority above and outside the government. 

Intrigued?

With the Warehouse comes assignments regarding objects that hold some sort of abilities that can cause people to do wild and crazy things. It’s their job to find the artifacts (as they all hold significance to history) and bring them back to the Warehouse for safe keeping.

Things get wild and some serious topics get handled, but the show isn’t alone. It’s connected to another on this list, Eureka. More on that when you get to Eureka.

Some familiar faces are Eddie McClintock who played a part in Bones, one episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Joanne Kelly who played a role in The Dresden Files television series, Allison Scagliotti who played roles in Stitchers, The Vampire Diaries, and Drake & Josh, Aaron Ashmore (twin brother to Shawn Ashmore, who has been in the X-Men movies alongside appearing in The Boys, and voicing Conrad in Man of Medan) from Killjoys, Lost Girl, and Smallville, and Jamie Murray from Castelvania, Gotham, The Originals, Once Upon a Time, Defiance, and Dexter.

I highly recommend, especially because the dynamic of the characters is really interesting and covers a lot. 

II. Eureka.

As mentioned above, this is connected to Warehouse 13. But only in the last two seasons of this show are the two connected. 

Eureka is a town full of geniuses and advanced technology that the government funds, and when a new sheriff comes to town, he’s exposed to all the daily occurrences the locals get up to. And maybe a couple instances of time travel that may or may not have to do with the connection.

The town is full of faces you may recognize. Colin Ferguson who has roles in Haven, The Vampire Diaries, and Maytag commercials, Erica Cerra who has roles in The 100, Supernatural, Deadly Class, and the first Percy Jackson film, Felicia Day who has roles in The Magicians, Supernatural, Con Man, The Guild, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Trevor Jackson who has roles in Grown-ish, and a couple Disney productions.

It’s a huge science fiction show and if you’re into that, give it a watch.

III. Alphas.

Now, like the two above is, Alphas is a science fiction packed drama. And it’s rumored to be connected, like be in the same universe, as Warehouse 13 and Eureka. It’s never been confirmed, but there is one character (same name and job) that plays a part in both Alphas and Warehouse 13, which is the stem for the theory. (Plus, some other ideas floating around). 

But Alphas focuses on a team that investigates people with supernatural abilities while they, themselves, have abilities. These powered people are referred to as Alphas, due to their nature.

Unfortunately, this show ends on a cliffhanger in its second season.

Yet, I still recommend giving it a shot because it truly is an interesting show and it’s got some people you may recognize. 

IV. Haven.

If you’re a fan of Stephen King’s “Colorado Kid”, you’ll most likely enjoy this show since it’s loosely based off of it. 

Set in the coastal town of Haven, Maine, FBI Agent Audrey Parker comes to town to find that the residents have dormant curses, or rather troubles, that can be triggered at any given moment. She, along with the Sheriff and the town’s black sheep, must deal with the troubles’ deadly effects. And a few things may be revealed about herself too along the way.

It’s pretty interesting and I enjoyed it quite a lot when I first watched it. I’m not the biggest fan of Stephen King, and the connection seems to barely be there, but I wouldn’t know given my dislike for King. 

I highly recommend giving Haven a shot, however, especially if you’re a crime and fantasy fan. 

V. Lost Girl.

Lost Girl focuses on the gorgeous and charismatic Bo, a supernatural being called a succubus who feeds on the energy of humans, sometimes with fatal results. Refusing to embrace her supernatural clan system and its rigid hierarchy, Bo is a renegade who takes up the fight for the underdog while searching for the truth of her own mysterious origins. (Taken from IMDB). 

Plus, there a lesbian romance or two. 

Now, the show itself is pretty strong holding in its own storyline and lore, but the last season does get a bit rocky feeling. It could’ve been better, and it definitely feels a little rushed, but it wasn’t too bad of an ending. However, it’s not a show that got cancelled before it could wrap things up and it leaves things pretty open-ended.

In my books, that’s a point. I highly recommend this is if you’re a fan of fantasy.

VI. Almost Human.

Unfortunately, this is one of the ones in the list that only has one season (that seems to be out of order and frankly I’m not entirely sure of the order myself, so rely on googling it yourself and hopefully you find the right order) and was cancelled not long after airing. 

BUT, it’s a good watch. It’s set in the distant future, where cops are assigned an android partner to protect and serve. Things get pretty wild and I’m quite sure there are some bombs involved at some point, but there’s a bonus to all the madness of Almost Human.

Minka Kelly and Karl Urban. Two incredibly beautiful human beings.

I highly recommend bingeing this single season show. 

VII. American Gods.

This shows feels very confusing. But it’s still a good watch. 

It centers on a recently released ex-con named Shadow Moon. He runs into a man full of mystery named Wednesday (and you’ll later come to find out who he really is, or you may already know given your knowledge on the book of the same name or just how well you know mythology) who seems to know more than Shadow about his own life and past. 

There are Gods, mischief, and a lot of crazy shit in this show. So far it’s on it’s third season as far as I know (I have to rewatch the first two before I pick it back up).

You should give it a shot, but I won’t blame you if you feel way too confused about the whole thing.

VIII. The Boys.

Now, there’s a lot of controversy regarding this Amazon Original Series, but honestly, I think everyone should at least give it a chance. I know a lot of Tumblr users were put off on trying to due to the advertisements on the site. 

If you don’t know what this series is about, it follows a group of vigilantes set on taking down the corrupt superheroes that are abusing their powers and status.

It covers a lot of ground. Murder, sabotage, terrorism, capitalism, and a lot more. Feminism and sexual harassment occur, but there are warning before each episode for what you may see in the contents.

Some familiar faces include Karl Urban, who’s known for his roles in Thor: Ragnarok, the newer Star Trek movies, Almost Human, Lord of the Rings, and more, Erin Moriarty from Jessica Jones, Laz Alonso from The Mysteries of Laura, Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl and The Covenant, and Jensen Ackles from Supernatural has been confirmed to be joining the cast for its third season.

The Boys is currently on it’s second season, being released on a weekly schedule. So, if you like superheroes and graphic content, this show might be it for you.

IX. Chuck.

Chuck is the result of when a twenty-eight year old computer geek inadvertently downloads critical government secrets into his brain, the C.I.A. and the N.S.A. assign two agents to protect him and exploit the knowledge, turning Chuck Bartowski’s life upside down. (Taken from IMDB).

This is one of the shows I cannot recommend enough to people. It’s the right mixture of action and comedy, plus a little romance. Spies, love, and murder, oh my! What more could you want? 

Plus, Zachery Levi plays Chuck. If you don’t know him by name, you probably would recognize him from some of his roles with the most recent being in Shazam!, Fandral in the second and third Thor films, voicing Eugene Fitzherbert (or Flynn Rider) in Tangled, and Heroes: Reborn. 

If Zachery Levi playing a lovable computer geek turned spy doesn’t interest you, maybe some more familiar faces will. 

Yvonne Strahovski from The Handmaid’s Tale, The Astronaut Wives Club, acting as Daenerys in a Princess Rap Battle on Youtube, and Dexter. Adam Baldwin from Firefly/Serenity, Bones, Angel, The Last Ship, and Independence Day. Brandon Routh who plays Ray Palmer from the DC Shows. Matt Bomer from Doom Patrol, American Horror Story, White Collar, Magic Mike, and True Calling.

X. Deadly Class.

Unfortunately, I have a truly bad streak with new shows. Deadly Class, like others that have been mentioned in these lists of mine, got cancelled and on a cliffhanger no less. However, that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the action-packed coming-of-age story set in the 1980s. 

Following a new recruit for a high school training assassins, things get pretty wild when you pair death and teenagers. 

[frangelic999]

Villains of All Nations

     I'm reading a really interesting book about pirates, Villains of All Nations, by Marcus Rediker, and I just want to share some excerpts because it's extremely good. It explains that the terror of piracy was born from a different kind of terror, "practiced by … ministers, royal officials, wealthy men; in short, rulers – as they sought to eliminate piracy as a crime against mercantile property … in truth, the keepers of the state in this era were themselves terrorists of a sort, decades before the word terrorist would acquire its modern meaning … they have become, over the years, cultural heroes, even founding fathers of a sort. Theirs was a terror of the strong against the weak." Pirates, in response, "consciously used terror to accomplish their aims … This they did in the name of a different social order … In truth, pirates were terrorists of a sort. And yet we do not think of them in this way. They have become, over the years, cultural heroes, perhaps antiheroes, and at the very least romantic and powerful figures in an American and increasingly global popular culture. Theirs was a terror of the weak against the strong. It formed one essential part of a dialectic of terror, which was summarized in the decision of the authorities to raise the Jolly Roger above the gallows when hanging pirates: one terror trumped the other." Long post about pirates ahead. Henceforth all bolded text is mine, the rest is from the book:

On the hanging of the pirate William Fly in 1726: Fly, however, did not ask for forgiveness, did not praise the authorities, and did not affirm the values of Christianity, as he was supposed to do, but he did issue a warning … he proclaimed his final, fondest wish: that "all Masters of Vessels might take Warning by the Fate of the Captain (meaning Captain Green) the he had murder'd, and to pay Sailors their Wages when due, and to treat them better; saying, that their Barbarity to them made so many turn Pyrates." Fly thus used his last breath to protest the conditions of work at sea, what he called "Bad Usage." He would be launched into eternity with the brash threat of mutiny on his lips.

 As we will see, poor seamen who turned pirate dramatized concerns of class. Formerly enslaved Africans or African Americans who turned pirate posed questions of race. Women who turned pirate called attention to the conventions of gender. And all people who turned pirate and sailed under "their own dark flag," the Jolly Roger, enacted a highly political play about the nation … When pirates stitched together the black flag, the antinational symbol of a gang of proletarian outlaws, they "declared war against the world."

 The multiethnic freebooters of 1716-26 numbered around four thousand over the decade. They wreaked havoc in the Atlantic system by capturing hundreds of merchant ships, many of which they burned or sank, and all  of which they plundered of valuable cargo. They disrupted trade in strategic zones of capital accumulation – the West Indies, North America, and West Africa – at a time when the recently stabilized and expanding Atlantic economy was the source of enormous profits and renewed imperial power. Usually sailors joined pirate ships after working on merchant and naval ships, where they suffered cramped quarters, poor victuals, brutal discipline, low wages, devastating diseases, disabling accidents, and premature death. Piracy, as we will see, offered the prospect of plunder and "ready money," abundant food and drink, the election of officers, the equal distribution of resources, care for the injured, and joyous camaraderie, all as expressions of an ethic of justice … Piracy may have held out hope for a good life, but it was not to be a long one.

 Many pirates, like Fly ... used the occasion for one last act of subversion. An endless train of pirates walked defiantly to the gallows and taunted the higher powers when they got there. Facing the steps and the rope in the Bahamas in 1718, pirate Thomas Morris expressed a simple wish: to have been "a greater plague to these islands." John Gow, who was a very strong man, broke the gallows rope at his hanging in 1726. He went to "ascend the ladder a second time, which he did with very little concern, dying with the same brutal ferocity which animated all his actions while alive."

 In 1720, when eight members of the crew of Bartholomew Roberts were captured and tried in Virginia, they were rowdy and outrageous ...They went to their deaths bidding defiance to mercy … "When they came to the Place of Execution one of them called for a bottle of wine, and taking a glass of it, he drank Damnation to the Governour and Confusion to the Colony, which the rest pledged."

 The drama played out again and again. When the fifty-two members of Roberts's crew were hanged at Cape Coast Castle in 1722 before a concourse of Europeans and Africans, a group of pirates explained: "They were poor rogues, and so must be hanged while others, no less guilty in another way, escaped." They referred to the wealthy rogues who bilked sailors of their rightful wages and proper food and thereby turned many of them toward piracy.

 When Bartholomew Roberts and his men learned that the governor and council of Nevis had executed some pirates in 1720, they were so outraged that they sailed into Basseterre's harbor, set several vessels on fire, and offered a big bounty to anyone who would deliver the responsible officials to their clutches so that justice could be served … They made good on such bluster when they happened to take a French vessel carrying the governor of Martinique, who had also hanged some members of "the brotherhood." Roberts took revenge by hanging the poor governor from his own yardarm. Thus did the pirates practice terror against the state terrorists. It was a war of nerves – one hanging for another – and constituted a cycle of violence.

On the use of terror by pirates:

Pirates used terror for several reasons: to avoid fighting; to force disclosure of information about where booty was hidden; and to punish ship captains. The first point to be emphasized is that pirates did not want to fight, no matter how bloodthirsty their image was in their own day and in ours. As Stanley Richards has written, "It was their ambition to acquire plunder and live to enjoy the pleasures that it brought them. A battle might deprive them of that ease of life. Hence on the chance occasion when they had to go into action against another ship, it was looked upon by them as almost a repulsive necessity. They were after booty, not blood." … Harsh treatment of those who resist, announced the Boston News-Letter in June 1718, "so intimidates the sailors that they refuse to fight when the pirates attack them." After all, the pirates would ask: why are you risking your life to protect the property of merchants and ship captains who treat you so poorly? … In this practice of violence, pirates were no different from naval or privateering ships, who practiced the same methods. Indeed, a portion of pirate terror was the standard issue of war making, which pirates undertook without the approval of any nation-state … Pirates also practiced violence against the prize ship's cargo, destroying massive amounts of property in the most furious and wanton ways … They descended into the holds of ships like "a Parcel of Furies," slashing boxes and bales of goods with their cutlasses, throwing valuable goods overboard, and laughing uproariously as they did so. They also destroyed a large number of ships … They practiced indirect terror against the owners of mercantile property.

On the pirate social order:

We will see that the early-eighteenth-century pirate ship was a world turned upside down, made so by the articles of agreement that established the rules and customs of the pirates' alternative social order. Pirates "distributed justice," elected their officers, divided their loot equally, and established a different discipline. They limited the authority of the captain, resisted many of the practices of capitalist merchant shipping industry, and maintained a multicultural, multiracial, and multinational social order. They demonstrated quite clearly – and subversively – that ships did not have to be run in the brutal and oppressive ways of the merchant service and the Royal Navy.

 For, as it happened, there were not merely two kinds of terror, the terror of the gallows and the terror of the Jolly Roger, but three. To understand William Fly and his dispute with the ministers of Boston, to understand the gallows drama repeated in one Atlantic port after another, and, most important, to understand the very explosion of piracy in the eighteenth century, we must attend to what Fly said of “Bad Usage,” of how his captain and mate used and abused him and his brother tars, treating them “barbarously,” as if they were “dogs.” He was talking about the violent disciplinary regime of the eighteenth-century deep-sea sailing ship, the ordinary and pervasive violence of labor discipline as practiced by the ship captain as he moved the commodities that were the lifeblood of the capitalist world economy. Even though there is no surviving evidence to show exactly what Captain Green did to Fly and the other sailors aboard the Elizabeth to produce the rage, the mutiny, the murder, and the decision to turn pirate, it is not hard to imagine. The High Court of Admiralty records for this period are replete with bloody accounts of lashings, tortures, and killings. Fly was talking about the ship captain as terrorist.

 On the necessity of labor for imperial designs:

The sailor knew that thousands of people were moving and laboring around the Atlantic, some willingly, some unwillingly, with many of them, like himself, subjected to violence. By 1716 a worldwide process of expropriation, called primitive accumulation, had already torn millions of people from their ancestral lands in Europe, Africa, and the Americas. … The enclosure movement and other mechanisms of dispossession had set thousands in motion on the roads and ways of England in particular and Europe in general. Masses of people flocked to the cities, where they found work, frequently as waged laborers, in manufacturing and especially in armies and navies, as war required vast amounts of labor. Hundreds of thousands more would embark for colonial plantations as laborers, whether free or unfree. Expropriation had “freed” millions of workers for redeployment to the far-flung edges of empire, often as indentured servants or slaves, on plantations that would produce what may have been the largest planned accumulation of wealth the world had yet seen. It was said that sugar, the leading and most lucrative Atlantic commodity of the eighteenth century, was made with blood. By 1716 big planters drove armies of servants and slaves as they expanded their power from their own lands to colonial and finally national legislatures. Atlantic empires mobilized labor power on a new and unprecedented scale, largely through the strategic use of violence—the violence of land seizure, of expropriating agrarian workers, of the Middle Passage, of exploitation through labor discipline, and of punishment (often in the form of death) against those who dared to resist the colonial order of things. By all accounts, by 1713 the Atlantic economy had reached a new stage of maturity, stability, and profitability. The growing riches of the few depended on the growing misery of the many.

On the shift in attitude toward pirates:

The sailor knew that the rulers of the Atlantic empires had taken a harsh new view of pirates as the enemies of imperial designs rather than as allies who might help to accomplish them. For much of the seventeenth century, pirates had been indirectly employed by the Netherlands, France, and England to harass Portugal and especially Spain in the New World, as well as to capture a portion of their glittering wealth. Operating largely from Caribbean islands, especially Jamaica, the sea rovers sacked Spanish American ports such as Veracruz and Panama City, repeatedly trashing Catholic churches and in many instances toting back to their ships as much silver plate as they could carry. But by the 1680s ruling-class attitudes had changed. Jamaica’s bigwigs could make more money, more predictable money, by cultivating sugar, and members of Parliament in England sought a more stable and reliable system of international trade. Pirates, who disrupted both projects, began to be hanged in significant numbers in the 1690s. According to historian Max Savelle, the Treaty of Utrecht in 1713 “was thought of, both in Europe and in America, as a settlement that would establish a lasting peace in America, based on the principle of the balance of colonial power.” Britain in particular hoped so because its traders, at home and in the colonies (especially Jamaica), had won the Asiento, an agreement with the Spanish government that allowed them officially to import 4,800 slaves per year and to smuggle a huge number more. The “Returns of the Assiento and private Slave-Trade” proved a more dependable way to exploit Spanish wealth. Pirates now stood squarely in the way of the hoped-for stability and profits.

 On sailors' methods of resistance:

The sailor who embraced the Jolly Roger after 1716 came from a potent experience of life and labor in a wooden world. The sailor’s workplace, the deep-sea sailing ship, was something of a factory in those days, a place where “hands”—those who owned no property and who therefore sold their labor for a money wage—cooperated to make the machine go. Sailing these small, brittle wooden vessels over the forbidding oceans of the globe, the seaman took part in a profoundly collective work experience, one that required carefully synchronized cooperation with other maritime workers for the sake of survival. Facing a ship captain of almost unlimited disciplinary power and an ever readiness to use the cat-o’-nine-tails, the sailor developed an array of resistances against such concentrated authority that featured desertion, work stoppages, mutinies, and strikes. Indeed, the sailor would invent the strike during a wage dispute in London in 1768 when he and his mates went from ship to ship, striking—lowering—the sails in an effort to make merchants grant their demands. Facing such natural and man-made dangers, which included a chronic scarcity of food and drink and a galling system of hierarchy and privilege, the sailor learned the importance of equality: his painfully acquired experience told him that a fair distribution of risks would improve everyone’s chances for survival. Separated from loved ones and the rest of society for extended periods, the sailor developed a distinctive work culture with its own language, songs, rituals, and sense of brotherhood. Its core values were collectivism, anti-authoritarianism, and egalitarianism, all of which were summarized in the sentence frequently uttered by rebellious sailors: “they were one & all resolved to stand by one another.” All of these cultural traits flowed from the work experience, and all would influence both the decision to turn pirate and how pirates would conduct themselves thereafter, as we will see in subsequent chapters.

[newstfionline]

Saturday, February 27, 2012

New York woman loses job, leads pantry feeding thousands (AP) While dozens of New Yorkers lined up outside in the rain, shopping carts at the ready as they waited for free food, Sofia Moncayo led her team in prayer. “We’re super grateful for these people here. In Jesus’ name we pray,” she said, and the group of women around her clapped, cheered and replied: “Amen.” “Now,” she said, “let’s get to work.” By then, they had worked almost nonstop for hours. They picked up heavy boxes, separated thousands of items and removed snow from the curb. They were cold, wet and tired. No one would pay them and they didn’t care. They were just happy to be there for someone else that day. During the coronavirus pandemic, Moncayo has led the food distribution program through Mosaic West Queens Church in the Sunnyside neighborhood. Since then, Moncayo has had her own struggles. She was furloughed from her job at a construction company and remains unemployed. And she also owes five months of rent for the martial arts studio that she owns with her husband in the neighborhood. But she has continued to lead fundraisers and coordinate dozens of volunteers who distribute more than 1,000 boxes of food to families twice a week. “I think helping others has to do something to your brain chemically because if we had not being doing everything that we’re doing, I think this would have been a much scarier time,” she said. “Being able to dig in and help others, it really gives you perspective and helps you believe that you’re going to be OK too.”

Residents of a Texas Border City Long Felt Overlooked. The Storm Made It Worse. (NYT) Surrounded by ranch land, towering mesquite trees and acres of thorny brush, the border city of Del Rio can feel like the definition of rural Texas. Residents said they have long felt alienated from the state’s power centers and bewildered by the shifting approaches to immigration by their elected leaders in Washington. And that is just in typical times. Last week’s epic winter storm, which blanketed the area with more than 11 inches of snow and collapsed the state’s power grid, plunging most of the county’s residents into dark and unheated homes, left many feeling even more isolated, overlooked and forgotten. More than a week later, many shelves remain empty at local grocery and hardware stores, and a notice to boil water was finally lifted in Val Verde County, which includes Del Rio, on Thursday. “I definitely feel that we are a bit unseen and unheard,” said Michael Cirilo, a 39-year-old juvenile detention officer. Like most of his neighbors in Del Rio, a predominantly Hispanic city of about 36,000 residents, he lost power for several days last week. “Sometimes we feel that we’re kind of alone out here.” “When they’re running for office is when we see them,” one man said of politicians.

Not Cages, “Temporary Holding Facilities” (Vox) Generally, migrant children arriving in the US through the southern border are sent to permanent holding facilities run by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), which are separate from the “cages” used by US Customs and Border Protection. Due to an increase in the number of children coming into the country, the Biden administration has begun reopening temporary facilities, sparking fears for the welfare of children inside. Biden’s camp has said that they have no choice but to reopen such facilities due to COVID-19-related capacity restrictions combined with the increase in border crossings. The children in these facilities are held until they are either matched with foster parents or united with family members in the US. There have been plenty of reports of abuse in both temporary and permanent HHS shelters: these reports include sexual abuse, neglect, dangerous living conditions, and even the administering of psychotropic drugs. To make matters worse, some of these facilities are located in inaccessible areas, making external oversight of their conditions difficult to conduct.

‘I can’t buy food’: As Cuba’s economy worsens, desperate rafters risk their lives at sea (Miami Herald) Marisol Monteagudo’s son gave her a kiss goodbye as he headed out the door to spend a night out with friends in Cuba’s Isla de la Juventud. What he didn’t tell her: That instead of grabbing a drink or watching a movie, they were planning to board a flimsy raft en route to Mexico. That was three months ago. She hasn’t heard from him since. In recent months, U.S. Coast Guard officials have detected a new uptick in Cuban rafters, with the number intercepted at sea in the fiscal year that started in October already surpassing the total for the previous 12 months. Though still vastly lower than previous surges, the recent increase has sparked concern that as economic and humanitarian conditions in Cuba worsen, more will risk their lives at sea. U.S. President Joe Biden’s proposal to transform the immigration system is also believed to be a driving factor. “It’s a combination of the rising desperation of a good part of the Cuban population over deteriorating life conditions, as well as the illusion of getting to the United States under a president who is more tolerant of undocumented immigrants,” said Jorge Duany, director of the Cuban Research Institute at Florida International University.

Bhutan’s success under the radar (Foreign Policy) There have been plenty of coronavirus pandemic success stories from Asia—Taiwan, Vietnam, New Zealand—but one small country has gone largely unheralded: Bhutan. Despite its poverty, ratio of 1 physician to every 2,255 people, and its shared border with hard-hit China and India, Bhutan has recorded only one COVID-19 fatality. In the Atlantic, the science journalist Madeline Drexler chalks up Bhutan’s success to quick actions by top officials, clear and consistent messaging from health authorities, and strong public trust in government. But she also identifies an additional factor unique to Bhutan: the spirit of compassion and altruism reflecting its “Gross National Happiness” index. The index considers noneconomic aspects of well-being, including health, as essential to sustainable development.

US carries out airstrike against Iranian-backed militia in Syria (ABC News) The United States conducted a military airstrike in eastern Syria along the border with Iraq targeting Iranian-backed militias in retaliation for a recent rocket strike in Erbil in northern Iraq that left several Americans injured, according to a U.S. official. The airstrike targeted structures in the eastern Syrian town of Al Bukamal that belong to Kataib Hezbollah and other Iranian-backed militias that have launched rocket attacks in the past against American facilities in Iraq, said the U.S. official. The airstrike was ordered by President Joe Biden in retaliation for a Feb. 15 rocket attack against a U.S. base in the northern Iraqi city of Erbil that killed a coalition contractor and left several American contractors and a U.S. military service member wounded.

In Iraq’s Biblical lands, scattered Christians ask ‘should I stay or go?’ (Reuters) A jihadist message, “Islamic State endures”, is still graffitied on the front gate of Thanoun Yahya, an Iraqi Christian from the northern city of Mosul, scrawled by Islamist militants who occupied his home for three years when they ruled the city. He refuses to remove it, partly in defiance of the militants who were eventually beaten by Iraqi forces, but also as a reminder that Iraq’s scattered and dwindling Christian community still lives a precarious existence. “They’re gone, they can’t hurt us,” said the 59-year-old, sitting in his home which he reclaimed when Islamic State was driven out in 2017. “But there aren’t many of us left. The younger generation want to leave.” Iraq’s Christians have endured unrest over centuries, but a mass exodus began after the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003 and accelerated during the reign of Islamic State, which brutalised minorities and Muslims alike. Hundreds of thousands left for nearby areas and Western countries. Physical and economic ruin remain. Iraqi authorities have struggled to rebuild areas decimated by war, and armed groups that the government has not been able to control vie for territory and resources, including Christian heartlands. Christians say they are left with a dilemma—whether to return to damaged homes, resettle inside Iraq or migrate from a country that experience has shown cannot protect them.

US implicates Saudi crown prince in Khashoggi's killing (AP) Saudi Arabia’s crown prince likely approved the killing of U.S.-based journalist Jamal Khashoggi inside the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, according to a newly declassified U.S. intelligence report released Friday that instantly ratcheted up pressure on the Biden administration to hold the kingdom accountable for a murder that drew worldwide outrage. The intelligence findings were long known to many U.S. officials and, even as they remained classified, had been reported with varying degrees of precision. But the public rebuke of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is still a touchstone in U.S-Saudi relations. It leaves no doubt that as the prince continues in his powerful role and likely ascends to the throne, Americans will forever associate him with the brutal killing of a journalist who promoted democracy and human rights. Yet even as the Biden administration released the findings, it appeared determined to preserve the Saudi relationship by avoiding direct punishment of the prince himself despite demands from some congressional Democrats and Khashoggi allies for significant and targeted sanctions. Rep. Adam Schiff, chair of the House Intelligence Committee, urged the Biden administration to consider punishing the prince, who he says has the blood of an American journalist on his hands. Rights activists said the lack of any punitive measures would signal impunity for the prince and other autocrats.

Unfriending Myanmar’s Military (NYT) Facebook has announced that they have banned Myanmar’s military from all its social media platforms, a few weeks after the country’s government was overthrown in a military coup. Facebook’s decision comes after years of criticism over how Myanmar’s military has used the site to further their political agenda and spread misinformation. For years, members of the military were behind a systematic campaign on Facebook that demeaned the Rohingya as foreigners illegally living in Myanmar, even though many had been there for generations. Since the coup early this month, the military has repeatedly shut off the internet and cut access to major social media sites while continuing to use the platform to spread misinformation and make statements about the state of the country. In response, Facebook wrote: “Events since the February 1 coup, including deadly violence, have precipitated a need for this ban,” adding that the risks of letting the Myanmar military remain on Facebook and Instagram were “too great” and that the military would be barred indefinitely.

North Korea: Russian diplomats leave by hand-pushed trolley (BBC) A group of Russian diplomats leaving North Korea were forced to leave the country by hand-pushed rail trolley as strict coronavirus measures bring travel in and out of the country to a standstill. After travelling 32 hours by train and another 2 hours by bus from Pyongyang to reach the Russian border, the diplomats and their families loaded up their luggage on the rail trolley and pushed themselves the final kilometer to a Russian train station. The Russian foreign ministry singled out the Pyongyang embassy’s third secretary Vladislav Sorokin for providing the bulk of the effort. Photos shared by the ministry showed the diplomats on the trolley with their suitcases amid a wintry landscape. They were also seen cheering in a video as they crossed into Russia.

Massacre by Eritrean troops in Ethiopia’s Tigray region may constitute crime against humanity, Amnesty says (Washington Post) Ethiopian and Eritrean forces committed war crimes during an offensive to take control of the town of Axum in Ethiopia’s northern Tigray region late last year, with one massacre by Eritrean troops a potential crime against humanity, according to a report released by Amnesty International on Thursday. The human rights group said that hundreds were likely killed during a roughly 24-hour period from Nov. 28-29, when Eritrean soldiers carried out house-to-house searches and shot civilians on the street. Eritrean troops “went on a rampage and systematically killed hundreds of civilians in cold blood, which appears to constitute crimes against humanity,” said Deprose Muchena, Amnesty International’s director for east and southern Africa. The United Nations defines crimes against humanity as “widespread or systematic attack directed against any civilian population.” In its report, Amnesty calls for a U.N.-led investigation into the violence in Axum as part of a broader international inquiry of the conflict between the Ethiopian government and forces aligned with the Tigray People’s Liberation Front (TPLF) that began on Nov. 4 last year.

Nigeria faces third mass kidnapping of schoolchildren in 3 months (Washington Post) Gunmen raided a boarding school in northwest Nigeria early Friday and kidnapped around 300 girls, marking the third mass abduction of children since December in Africa’s most populous nation. The assailants struck the Government Girls Secondary School in Zamfara state in a predawn ambush, residents said, waking up neighbors as shots rang out. By daylight Friday, community members were still working together to tally the missing—it remained unclear how many girls were forced into the nearby woods—while police officers scoured the area, which has been plagued by kidnappings in recent months. No one has asserted responsibility for the attack, but criminal gangs known as “bandits” are known to capture groups for ransom—a scourge that has prompted some Nigerians to call for a national state of emergency. The latest high-profile targets across the country’s north: Schoolchildren.

The placebo effect: ‘As a man thinks, so is he?’ (NYT) Give people a sugar pill, they have shown, and those patients—especially if they have one of the chronic, stress-related conditions that register the strongest placebo effects and if the treatment is delivered by someone in whom they have confidence—will improve. Tell someone a normal milkshake is a diet beverage, and his gut will respond as if the drink were low fat. Take athletes to the top of the Alps, put them on exercise machines and hook them to an oxygen tank, and they will perform better than when they are breathing room air—even if room air is all that’s in the tank. Wake a patient from surgery and tell him you’ve done an arthroscopic repair, and his knee gets better even if all you did was knock him out and put a couple of incisions in his skin. Give a drug a fancy name, and it works better than if you don’t. You don’t even have to deceive the patients. You can hand a patient with irritable bowel syndrome a sugar pill, identify it as such and tell her that sugar pills are known to be effective when used as placebos, and she will get better, especially if you take the time to deliver that message with warmth and close attention. Depression, back pain, chemotherapy-related malaise, migraine, post-traumatic stress disorder: The list of conditions that respond to placebos—as well as they do to drugs, with some patients—is long and growing.

[mega-reaver-pan-90-2-16]

Peppered Sprayed 9 year old

https://youtu.be/3ouq54ABGKk

sigh. Ok listen I completely support the Blue, the Police are here for a reason alright. There job is not to opress anyone or put anyone in there place.There job is to protect people and enforce the law and arrest those who break the law.

With that said I can never support Police Brutality especialy in this day and age. Your a cop that means you are to be HELD TO A STANDARD! It’s like being a super hero ok, your job isn’t  just to go fight people or attack people and keep in mind crap like this is all certain people want to look at when regarding the police  but there are good cops out there! So the problem isn’t having police the problem is the type of people you trust the citizens with, it’s the type of people you hire as cops. You have to have cops who are going stop the bad guys but will treat people most of the time with respect. They are cops and they have authority so we need to always respect them but they are only in that position to protect us and if they can’t treat us like human beings they don’t need to have that badge.

Ok now I’m going to adress the bigger issue here and no the issue is not race it’s age.  However I will say this, you can’t asume that this proves all white cops are racist or thugs but  you can say it would contribute to the stereotype. I will agree with you there and these cops should be held accountable for straight up putting themselvesin that possiton. Be you a Black cop or a white cop though never BE CAUGHT mistreating someone of another race, especialy in this day and time. I’m warning this sort of thing would be held against you by baised Media. Now right now Media sides against white people but they have sides against blacks before and so long as they are pushing a narrative that one racist is inherantly racist because skin then THEY CAN THE SAME TO THE OTHER REAL EASILY! This sort of thing is a double edged sword everyone.  Never think it can’t happen in reverse because it can!

Now time for Age. THE GIRL IS 9 YEARS OLD AND SCARED! I don’t care if your a cop or not, if your bigger than them you can easily pick them up and shove in them in the car. If your objective is to help the child keep in mind if she is acting in defiance and acting scared out of her mind you need to handle her with care not treat her like she’s a threat! That’s someone’s child your handling, imagine if that was your own kid. and I’m sorry but if you can’t handle a kid with respect and care then you don’t need to be an officer. In the least You should never be a thug to a kid! You don’t threaten children, you don’t try to scare kids! and right now people are painting cops as vilians and if think of it this way super heroes like Spiderman have also been painted as a vilian before and when they have to put up with that they have to keep a cool on. I know Cops are humans and have flaws but here’s the thing those flaws need to be kept in check because any wrong action you commit won’t just be held on your reputation alone but it will be held on your Badge as well. I can not  condone this sort of behavior. Heroes, Saints and people or a Moral or Law ground should always hold there standards and respect for for fellow human beings and life is one of those Standards. When your job is to take a child to their parents, if they refuse to get in the car and their being stubborn , you need to handle with grace, a level head, le them know...no SHOW THEM your friendly. You don’t PEPPER SPRAY THEM IN THE EYES WITH THEIR HANDS TIED BEHIND THERE BACK!!! This isn’t how you treat anyone your trying to help! Especially a child who can’t pose you any harm and is to helpless to help herself in such a harmful predicament!

Again I back the Blue, but I can not support needless harm to  a child. There is time for discipline but this is not how you handle kids period! a Smack on the butt is punishment enough but this is cruel an unusual for a child! Cruel and Unusual is unconstitutional! This child will be Scarred for life because of this and any ugly rumors she has ever been taught or will be taught in the future that portrays police in an ugly light will only be confirmed and supported by this traumatic experience! THAT’S JUST PEACHY! AGAIN not all cops are like this, but all it takes is the actions of  a few to strengthen a bad image of a whole. That’s why some people go to great lengths to pose as people they hate to commit acts that could mudsling an entire group! This wasn’t a fake incident though, oh how I wish this was just some fake cops trying to  make a poor girl terrified of cops. If only this had just been an Antifa ruse. The again if these were fake cops they would of never been called out by the police chief they would of been arrested for impersonating an officer instead. and I’m not going to assume that this is some big rude and that the police chief is somehow in on it. That would require proof. No this stupidity mixed with brutality! I won’t say it’s racist however because the color of skin is not evidence of that and to assume it is would be racist. We would need actual confirmation that this was intentional race on race hate crime. Thing is these people were here to help the girl but they sure did screw up on that job! You  don’t protect a child by hurting them! for peat sake did  you even NEED TO CUFF THEM?! forget insult to injury this is Literally Injury to Insult! This is Child terrorizing, child endangerment!

I’m very angered as a conservatives. I’m angered as a supporter of the Blue. of Law and order. This is disgraceful and this is not how the job is supposed to be done. And its not because there are people who want to mudsling good people, no that’s just Insult to injury but stunts like this is shooting yourself in the foot!

I expect better rom our Police force and I pray these people and others who are to rough look at this, self reflect and try to self inprove and move on and be better. Because SOMEONE has to self improve and be better. someone has to be the good guy and there are people out there who honestly think andclaim their heroes and they go around take the law into their own hand and act like this, being a bunch of thugs! Cops should  never EVER act like this! be BETTER THAN THIS! that’s your job! Hates can say what they want I DON’T CARE about your opinions! You people live in an echo chamber and don’t understand reality. My message here is for those Who have to go and do the actual job, the ones who have a load to carry and are supposed to know better. Your free to taunt and scold and slander and as long as these people behave like you they deserve it! because What I Have seen from CERTAIN people is how hypocritical and double standard they are! Do not think these people are how good people should behave. Good people need to walk the walk not just talk the talk! It’s one thing to be given a responsible position, it’s another to actually live up to that responsibility! These aren’t mere words ,they aren’t made up out of thin air. Language is like Law they are made with a purpose to hold up a system that holds up everyone else! The girl was a child, you need to talk to her gently, calmly, make sure she knows your not there to hurt her , make sure she knows your on her side and that your not a threat! I am disgusted to see this, to see such mishandling of someone so tender an age. That’s another probel I have with day and age how people seem to have no sympathy or respect for children. and no trusting a child with a life changing choice they aren’t ready for isn’t showing respect it’s being reckless and stupid! Adults need to always keep a child’s safety in mind. Because they harm that can befall them if permenant is something they will live with FOR THE REST OF THEIR CHILDHOOD and the rest of their life! To Quoate a classic Meme that people should take more seriasly “OH WILL SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Seriasly over all this was Child Abuse!

[wanna-b-poet31]

Aziraphale Addresses His Abuse

In case anyone cares, here are some more musings about the significance of Aziraphale’s confrontation of his abuse in Good Omens. This is an extension of a segment in my longer piece: An Angel in Recovery

Needing Closure

After Aziraphale finally admits that Heaven is like an abusive parent, he needs to come to terms with the fact that he’s got >ALOT< of shit to deal with. Not least of which is his internalized self-loathing as evident in the above gif where we can see his association with “soft” as a negative trait.  And we all KNOW Crowley would fight Gabriel for personally helping to instill the belief that he’s a “bad angel” for being kind and compassionate, and loving humanity >and Crowley<.

But, choosing a side is not closure.

What it is, is a support system and a promise to help build up Aziraphale’s confidence. Choosing his side provides safety, and it strengthens his relationship with Crowley, but choosing Crowley alone will not address his underlining trauma. While he now acknowledges that his 6000-year treatment is fucked up (like really fucked up), it is but only one step on his journey towards recovery.

Once Aziraphale chooses Crowley, to be his partner, to stop Armageddon, to defend humanity, he indeed realizes that the line between Heaven’s abuse and the threat of Hell’s is a fucking thin one. Both adversaries team up to actively destroy everything the Ineffable Husbands love, employing gaslighting, physical attacks, or emotional traumatizations to achieve their goals.

In order to have the closure that he desperately needs to properly cope with his trauma, he needs to confront his abusers and reclaim his sense of self, reaffirming his choices to pick the healthy support system that is Crowley.

There are four distinct moments where he gets his closure: With Heaven, With Shadwell, with Gabriel, and finally, with Hell. 

Defying Heaven

I didn’t note this before, but Aziraphale’s first direct act of defiance is to his duties as a leader of Heaven. 

After Aziraphale has picked a side, he is...inconveniently discorporated...and sent into the den of lions that is Heaven. Now, having realized that no one in Heaven has Earth’s best interests at heart, he walks in with his eyes wide open to the abuse and unhealthy nature of Heaven.  Once he is face-to-face with his “duties” as an Angel thrust upon him. And how is he, a principality, an angel of heaven, treated? 

Like dirt.

The Quartermaster >yup weird mustache guy is named “quartermaster”< berates him for losing his body (that up until that point had never been discorporated before) and being a “pathetic excuse for angel”. The verbal abuse is strong in this scene because, as the above gif shows, Aziraphale flinches at his words, visibly becoming uncomfortable with the treatment. And, instead of denying the problem or repressing his feelings, he sees Heaven for the nasty “parent” that it is. 

And then we see Aziraphale finally. fucking. snap.

For the first, but not the last, time we see Aziraphale assert his own desires to heaven. Although in the garden he clearly asserts his desires and kindness by giving Eve and Adam his sword, he lies about where it’s been to both God and Gabriel. He does not lie here. He makes a choice and he does not back down. He deflects blame somewhat, but he admits that the sword is gone, and righteously asserts that his actions were just. 

When the Quartermaster yells abuse at him, then tries to control Aziraphale, promising to overlook his “indiscretion” if he gets in line “now”, Aziraphale fumbles for a second but then comes out in full force. 

He. says. no. 

Not only that, he tells Heaven, on no uncertain terms, that he wants no part in waging war against humanity or Hell. This act of agency defies the hold Heaven has on him, and where, in the past, he would have suffocated on his own repression instead of acknowledging Heaven’s actions as wrong, he won’t be silent any longer. Heaven isn’t used to being told they’re in the wrong, and it lends to their overall power over all angels. But, Aziraphale does it anyway, knowing full well what the consequences are if they retaliate.

But, he’s chosen his side and damn it all if they think he’s not going to see it through until the end. 

Instead of denying there’s a problem with Heaven’s behavior, he demands to be returned to Earth so he can call/contact Crowley and stop the war from starting in the first place. Finally!!! His own wants and needs above the toxic, controlling parent that is Heaven. 

And more than that, he tells Heaven the truth. Up until this point he had repressed his misgivings about Heaven’s actions, lying through his teeth to Heaven about his true feelings towards humanity.  But here, when faced with an ultimatum, he tells the truth and DEMANDS to be sent back to Earth. 

Heaven, it seems, now is not worth the effort. He has a support system he trusts implicitly and without question -- Crowley. The control Heaven used to have on him has been replaced with defiance and anger because of their cruelty to him, to Crowley, and to humanity.  

He has some closure!

Handling Homophobia 

Then there is Shadwell.  

So full disclosure. I haven’t really talked about Shadwell in many of my metas because of all of the abusers in Good Omens, I'm most triggered by his homophobic behaviors. I grew up closeted and queer around people like Shadwell (although they were admittedly less dooms-day focused). I have some family like him and his constant usage of homophobic slurs towards Aziraphale hits close to home.  Sorry if this isn’t as detailed as my other sections, disregarding Shadwell is a form of self-care. 

It is clear with his introduction that Shadwell is dismissive of most people. For example, he elects to call Tracy “Jezebel” and other derogatory terms for her profession, only treating her kindly after she retires. For Aziraphale, he calls him “Southern Pansy”, which is a major slur in the UK for gay men.

With Crowley, Shadwell is less brash. Sure he still fanatical about abusing witches, and wants to milk the situation for as much money as he possibly can, but when he approaches Crowley at the diner, he speaks with a kind of timidness that looks like he’s seeking validation for his actions. I assert this because he’s not scared of Crowley but genuinely sees him as an ally. While it could just be a ploy to get more money out of Crowley, he doesn’t talk back or insult Crowley around him.

However, I firmly believe Crowley would absolutely beat the shit out of Shadwell for his treatment of Aziraphale.

When we look closely at how Shadwell talks to Aziraphale, he is clearly directly manipulative and verbally abusive. He purposefully takes advantage of Aziraphale’s kindness to better line his own pockets by falsely reporting the existence and death of his “soldiers”. Then, out of earshot, he berates Aziraphale for what he presumes his sexual identity is. While Aziraphale is canonically a queer masculine-presenting non-binary entity, Shadwell percieves Aziraphale’s behavior as a net negative (which it absolutely isn’t!!! Fuck Shadwell’s transphobia and homophobia). He uses his prejudice and homophobia to show that he does not view Aziraphale as worth the same respect that Crowley (who somehow Shadwell does not read as genderqueer) is shown.

Shadwell’s abuse is less all-encompassing than Heaven’s, but it’s just as significant because of his dismissive attitude towards Aziraphale devaluing non-normative gender presentations and is generally meant to be hurtful. He is meant to be Aziraphale’s ally, or perhaps his employee. But the homophobic slurs shows malice. Although not as hidden as Heaven, the abusive nature of Shadwell is just as damaging, and the insult is intended to belittle and demean Aziraphale.

This all comes to a head after finding Madame Tracy is angelically possessed by Aziraphale, Shadwell verbally attacks Aziraphale with the slur again. And Aziraphale, who just faced Heaven and walked backward into Hell, is not having any of the homophobic behaviors. 

This whole interaction is a relatively “small” moment compared to his defiance of Heaven, but it shows he’s one step closer to confronting the bigger, more direct, abusers in his life. Defying Heaven was monumental but vague, it’s one thing to defy an organization, or even defy expectations, but to defy individuals is harder, more personal, and confronting the struggle helps give Aziraphale closure against homophobia.  

The One Where Gabriel’s a Dick

The next confrontation is with Gabriel, the primary abuser for 6000 years. While all of Heaven is abusive, Gabriel specifically singles out Aziraphale, belittles his interests (even when Gabriel himself indulges in some less than angelic behaviors like wrath and indulging in nice, expensive human clothing). He is a vehicle for many of the specific actions that traumatize Aziraphale.  

Although I don’t doubt Aziraphale could cut Gabriel with his flaming sword, the most powerful weapon in his arsenal is his words. He defends Adam’s choice to not destroy the world and confronts Gabriel’s use of the “great plan” vs. the ineffable one. Aziraphale knows that poking at Heaven’s excuse for destroying humanity won’t hold up. Adam’s right, there is no rationale for waging war except “to see whose gang’s the best”. Speaking up like that, against a director of war, is ballsy, but Aziraphale does not care. He needs to confront the horrendous way Gabriel/Heaven has treated him, humanity, and Crowley.

And who supports him through this cathartic moment? 

Crowley. 

With a single glance, Crowley interjects and comes through, supporting Aziraphale’s (extremely clever) plan to protect Adam and the world. Based on Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confused reactions Crowley realizes Heaven and Hell don’t actually know what they’re doing.  Aziraphale has them dead to right with his cleverness and devotion to humanity. Stepping closer to Aziraphale, protectively behind Adam, he pushes until Heaven and Hell are forced to admit defeat.

It’s a beautiful confrontation. A perfect FUCKKKKKKK YOU to the embodiment of his abuse, with his support system helping give him the confidence he needs to push past his insecurities and execute his plan. 

Facing His Fears: Hell or Highwater 

The last distinct moment is the switch. 

While Hell specifically hasn’t actually targetted Aziraphale, they have done something worse. Attacked his support system. So, Aziraphale returns in kind, confronting his partner’s abusers head on. And look at the absolute GLEE he takes in showing off how indestructible to Holy Water his partner is. He’s making a performance of daring all of Hell to come after them, terrorizing them like they terrorized Crowley and him.

It’s also him coming to terms with the fact that yes, it’s him and Crowley against the (divine) World. The switch is so significant for so many reasons, but the primary one is that it allows Aziraphale the ability to face his biggest fear -- Hell -- and not flinch. 

The Threat of falling (like from Uriel/Michael/Sandalphon) and going to Hell terrifies our loveable bastard angel. He knew that he was disposable to Heaven, but he’s indisposable to Crowley. This confrontation allows him to come to terms with the unhealthy power dynamic of Heaven and begin the rest of his life with Crowley as equals. 

Once he returns home, to Crowley, he’s not fully recovered (recovery is a process, not a finish line) but he’s faced all of his abusers.  

He has closure. 

TLDR: Aziraphale is on the road to recovery with Crowley. #lovewins

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[frankendeers]

Against Edelman:

So if anyone is interested in my opinion about Lee Edelman’s No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive, here is part of my paper about it. I originally compared it to Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts. For simplicity’s sake, I have extracted these parts and only left in a few of Nelson’s counter arguments to Edelman’s theory.

I think it can be understood, even if you haven’t read Edelman.

“And so what is queerest about us, queerest within us, and queerest despite us is this willingness to insist intransitively—to insist that the future stop here.” (Edelman 31)

Lee Edelman proposes in his book No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive the idea of reproductive heterosexuality and the concern for future generations as being central to the concept of heterosexuality. Consequently, he concludes that Queerness itself must be diametrically opposed to this ideal.  

Although Lee Edelman concedes that queerness is constituted through refusing pre-determined or fixed identity and historical linearity (Edelman 4), his work operates under the assumption of binaries and clearly definable parameters of queer action. The symbolic figure of the Child exists at the centre of his theory, encapsulating heteronormative demands of reproductivity, social order and obedience. According to Edelman, the protection of this Child is used as an excuse to limit political action and always defer progress to the hypothetical future, simultaneously retaining the status quo: “That Child remains the perpetual horizon of every acknowledged politics, the fantasmic beneficiary of every political intervention” (Edelman 3) The homosexual, henceforth becomes an enemy of this conformist ideal as he refuses to procreate and participate in this perpetuation of an imagined tomorrow (cp. Edelman 2). Consequently, queerness inhabits the position of abandoning the Child and all its oppressive structures, denying hope for the future and embracing the death drive instead (cp. Edelman 3).

Edelman defines queerness as a social mirror, a negative of a society with which it stands in mutual rejection. Despite the fact that queerness in of itself can be seen as apolitical, Edelman views the stance of anti-social queerness as clear opposition to heteronormative oppression (cp. Lothian 451). Nelson criticizes this form of binary thinking as obsolete and unhelpful in the face of queer family making:

“Yet rather than fade away with the rise of queer parenthood of all stripes, the tired binary that places femininity, reproduction, and normativity on one side and masculinity, sexuality, and queer resistance on the other as lately reached a kind of apotheosis, often posing as a last, desperate stand against homo and heteronormativity, both.” (Nelson 75).

Edelman discourages engaging in reproduction, therefore strengthening the dominant powers, but proposes working together to free politics from the figure of the Child (Edelman 27). It is unsurprising that Nelson references Edelman’s polemic directly, recognising his will to collapse oppressive, capitalist structures by opposing conformist ideas, instead of attempting to forbid actual reproduction (cp. Nelson 75). However, she also opens the possibility of directing Edelman’s justified anger toward systems abusing the figure of the Child to perpetuate discrimination and marginalisation. The futility of disengaging from society instead of actively fighting for change seems tangible in her words:

“But why bother fucking this Child when we could be fucking the specific forces that mobilize and crouch behind its image? Reproductive futurism needs no more disciples. But basking in the punk allure of “no future” won’t suffice either […]” (Nelson 76).

Furthermore, the rejection of the symbolic Child designates special meaning, or rather non-meaning, to sexual encounters. Edelman promotes queerness as intrinsically linked to the pleasures of sex without the goal of reproduction, connecting it to a “violent undoing of meaning, the loss of identity and coherence, the unnatural access to jouissance […]” (Edelman 132). Edelman calls these queer figures Sinthomosexuals. They have the ability to reject meaning or hope by seeking pleasure, therefore exposing the symbolic for its artificiality (cp. Edelman 113-114). Nelson rejects this notion implicitly by implying that sleeping with someone will not halt the mechanisms of oppression, nor will it necessarily expose them (cp. Nelson 26-27). She refers to the perverse desires of heterosexual people, even putting into question that heteronormative pleasure is at all linked to reproduction in any way:

“Who, in the straight world, besides some diehard religious conservatives, truly experiences sexual please as inextricably linked to reproductive function?” (Nelson 110).

Edelman’s theory of jouissance of the queer appears obsolete, a relic from a past long gone and serving no reason to oppose reproduction and queer family making.

 Black feminist criticism of Lee Edelman’s polemic is also abdundant. No Future, as a concept, was before World War I reserved for racialized Others whose bodies white people could act upon via forced sterilizations and infanticide (cp. Lothian 447). Reproduction is, therefore, contrary to Edelman’s belief, in no way without racial context (cp. Edelman 151), but rather an active defiance of dominant forces. McNeil argues for the fact that heteronormativity, although not explicitly stated, is deeply seated within whiteness (cp. McNeil 828). It is therefore legitimate to extend black family making into the realms of queerness, if one defines queerness not as a set of sexual acts and preferences, but as a disturbance of heteronormative powers. Nelson chooses, thus, a long tradition of resistance through survival: “Our kind are dangerous because we show that there is something better beyond the trick of capital where life breaks down into differentially billable hours.” (Bliss 92).

Works Cited:

Bliss, James. Hope Against Hope: Queer Negativity, Black Feminist Theorizing, and Reproduction without Futurity. Mosaic: a journal for the interdisciplinary study of literature, Volume 48, Number 1, March 2015, pp. 83-98 (Article)

Edelman, Lee. No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive. ,2004. Print.

Lothian, Alexis. Old Futures: Speculative Fiction and Queer Possibility. New York: New York University Press, 2018.

McNeill, T. (2013). Sex education and the promotion of heteronormativity. Sexualities, 16(7), 826–846.

Nelson, Maggie. The Argonauts. , 2015. Print.

[megamanx1994]

Star vs. The Forces of Evil: Attack on Mewni Chapter 7

Chapter 8: Battle for the universe (Disclaimer! I own nothing of SVTFOE, Jak and Daxter, or Crash Bandicoot.) Star showed up with the new wand in her hand. “Leave him alone!” she said. She shot a magic blast at Comet and he avoided it. “I’m counting on you Titan,” said Comet, “Destroy these pests and get the wand!” He went back to Mewni. Star fought the titan while Marco slowly got back up and limbed to help her. “Whoa kid, don’t hurt yourself!” said Crash stopping him. “She needs me,” said Marco, “I love her.” “I know you do, but you can’t hurt yourself to help Star,” said Crash, “Not until you eat this.” He got out an apple looking thing. “What is that?” asked Marco. “It’s a wumpa fruit,” said Crash, “One bite and you’ll be chock full of energy.” “Ok,” said Marco, “Down the hatch.” Marco took a bite and he was suddenly feeling tons of energy. “Whoa!” said Marco. “Hey, that’s my line,” said Crash, “But at least you’re feelin’ better.” “I’m better than better,” said Marco, “I’m back up to full strength!” He did a flying kick at the titan giving Star time to attack it with magic blasts. “Wow, this wand is amazing!” said Star, “Let’s see what else it can do.” She raised her wand in the sky and thunder came down. “Thunder slam!” she said. It did some serious damage to the titan. She landed on the ground. Marco ran to her and kissed her. “I’m glad you’re ok,” said Marco. “So am I,” said Star, “I love you.” “I love you too,” said Marco. “Love birds, not to rain on your parade,” said Crash, “But we have to stop Comet before he destroys every planet in the solar system!” “But how do we get there?” asked Marco, “He took our dimensional scissors.” “Why not ask for a ride?” asked someone. It was Coco. “Sis,” said Crash. “Get on,” said Coco. They jumped in the car and they warped into Mewni’s atmosphere. Ludo was at the king’s bed. “This is how you end King Butterfly,” said Ludo, “How Mewni falls to my empire.” He was staring at him and his closed eyes. “When I’m done with you, I’ll be finishing your little girl,” he said, “And the world will know, that you fell to the hand of ludo.” Comet froze his hand in place. “What the….” He said. “And you fell to the hand of Comet Dragonfly,” said Comet. “You traitor!!!” said Ludo, “You worked for me!” “I worked with you to make Mewni safe again,” said Comet, “But I will never work for you!” He warped him back to his lair and removed the poison dart from the king’s body. “Uncle,” he said, “When you wake all will be ok.” Marco, Star, and Crash were on Mewni and saw Jak fighting off some of Ludo’s forces. “Jak, is that you?” asked Marco. “That’s right,” said Jak, “It turns out that I can somehow control this dark eco, and its working wonders!” “Mind if we join?” asked Coco. “Sis be…” said Crash. Coco sprang into action and fought them off using karate. “Never mind,” said Crash. “We’ll take care of everything here,” said Queen Butterfly, “Go find Comet!” “Good luck Star!” said Marco as he got out his staff. Comet was using the cosmic star to make a weapon out of the wormholes that would devour and destroy other dimensions. “Comet!” said Star. He turned to see her. “Shut it down,” said Star. “Your defiance has gone far enough Star,” said Comet. “Its over now, just give up,” said Star. “I can’t do that!” said Comet, “It has to be done.” “You don’t have to do this Comet!” said Star. “I have no choice,” said Comet, “When uncle awakens, he will realize that his world will be safe for all eternity.” “Its one thing to attack one person,” said Star, “But destroying other worlds is going too far.” “Star, if you were in my position you would’ve wanted to do the same for the one you love,” said Comet. “But I wouldn’t want to kill other worlds just to make sure his was saved,” said Star, “I’ve changed since I was 6.” “So have I,” said Comet, “Now fight me.” He attacked Star and she avoided it. “I never wanted to rule over Mewni,” said Comet, “All I wanted was to make it safe from any oncoming threats.” “I understand,” said Star, “But what you’re doing is crazy!” “Is it?” asked Comet, “What happened to you? What was it on Earth that’s turned you into such a softie?” He thought of something. “It was that boy Marco Diaz wasn’t it?!” asked Comet, “Well… maybe when I’m done with you, I’ll pay him a visit!” “Over my dead body you will!” said Star. “That was the idea,” said Comet, “Wasp swarm!!!” He shot an army of wasps at Star and she made a bubble of water destroying them. “Rainbow Blast!” said Star. She shot a rainbow attack at Comet and he countered with a freeze blast. “You may have the wand, but you’ll never defeat me!” said Comet. The matrix was aiming for Earth and a giant beam of light was seen in the center. Star rushed to it and then used her wand to destroy the matrix. “Star no!” said Comet. He ran after her but Marco appeared and pinned him down. “Star yes!” he said. “If you do this Mewni will never be safe!” said Comet. Star didn’t listen and kept hitting at it. “Everything you love will eventually be destroyed!!” said Comet. She hit it again even harder. “You’ll spend the rest of your miserable life trying to protect home from any invaders!!!!” said Comet. “So be it,” said Star. She charged up her wand and delivered the final blow. It was so powerful that it sent Star, Marco, and Comet flying. Star grabbed Comet’s leg, and Marco grabbed Star’s leg. “Star, if this is how we go…. I have something I wanna ask you,” said Marco. “What is it?” asked Star. “Well…” said Marco before he was interrupted. King Butterfly got his hand. “I could’ve done it uncle!” said Comet, “I could’ve made Mewni a safer place, for you, for all of us.” “No Comet,” said King Butterfly, “Not like this.” Feeling remorse for his failure, he saw no other option. “Goodbye Star,” said Comet, “Goodbye Marco…. Goodbye uncle.” “No…. Comet no,” said Star. He let go of Star’s hand and fell into the abyss. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” screamed Star. King Butterfly pulled the two of them up and Star hugged Marco. “I could’ve saved him,” she said crying. “Its ok Star,” said Marco, “You did what you could.” They hugged tight as the sun rose on Mewni again. All of their friends saw them kiss. Everyone on Earth cheered knowing that they would live to see another day. A few days later there was a celebration being held for Star and Marco’s heroic deeds. Daxter was talking to a bartender. “And then boom, I shot down like 20 of them,” said Daxter, “You should’ve seen it Tess, it was on!” “My little hero,” said Tess. Jak gave him a thumbs up. “So… are you and Jackie cool,” said Star. “Yeah,” said Marco, “It looks like she’s found a new playmate.” They both watched Crash hanging around her. “Looks like that’ll make him forget about Taw…. I mean whatsername,” said Coco. He looked back at Star. “I think you’ll make a great ruler of Mewni one day,” said Marco. “But I still have much to learn,” said Star, “I depend too much on magic, and I have to learn to not use it as often.” “Well I’ll help you,” said Marco, “You are my girlfriend.” Star smiled. King Butterfly nodded at Star telling him it was time. Marco got a cup and spoon and got everyone’s attention. “Ok everyone I have something to say,” said Marco. “What’s he doing?” asked Star “Star Butterfly,” said Marco, “Ever since you came to planet Earth, you’ve shown me so many amazing things, helped me see more in myself, and you’ve made me a hero in Echo Creek. Well at least to my friends.” Star blushed. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be the man I am today,” said Marco, “I love you, and there’s no dimension, evil ex, or responsibility that can keep us apart.” “I love you too Marco,” said Star. “Then prove it,” said Marco. He bent down on one knee and opened a box that had a beautiful ring with a red and blue gem that symbolizes them both. Star had tears in her eyes but was as happy as could be. “Princess Star Butterfly, will you marry me?” asked Marco. “YES!!!!” said Star as she jumped on him, “Of course I’ll marry you Marco!” Everyone cheered for Star and Marco being engaged. The two of them kissed and Marco raised star up twirling her around. There was a wormhole showing some monsters. “Hand over the wand if you want to live,” said Ludo. Star knew what she had to do. Marco got out his staff and Crash got out his gloves. “Let’s kick some ass,” said Star. They sprung into action. Meanwhile in a far away prison, someone was singing to herself in a hole. She was startled when she heard an explosion. There was some guys in masks taking down all the guards. One of them approached her. “Who are you?” she asked. “Its me Marcia,” said a familiar voice, “Your magical prince.” He took off his mask and revealed himself. “Comet!!!!” said Marcia as she hugged him. Comet grinned. “Let’s go home,” he said. THE END…… Heathens (Respire) All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse We don't deal with outsiders very well They say newcomers have a certain smell Yeah, I trust issues, not to mention They say they can smell your intentions You're lovin' on the freakshow sitting next to you You'll have some weird people sitting next to you You'll think "how did I get here, sitting next to you?" But after all I've said, please don't forget (Watch it, watch it) (Watch it) All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse All my friends are heathens, take it slow (Watch it) Wait for them to ask you who you know (Watch it) All my friends are heathens, take it slow (Watch it) Wait for them to ask you who you know Why'd you come, you knew you should have stayed I tried to warn you just to stay away And now they're outside ready to bust It looks like you might be one of us Star Butterfly will return in the PeaceKeepers….. (Meanwhile….) Crash and Coco were at a house looking at the news. “So how did a guy like you end up with Jackie Lynn Thomas?” asked Coco. “Just luck I guess,” said Crash. Coco saw some kind of note on the door. “What’s this?” she asked. After she looked at it, she ran to Crash. “What is it sis?” asked Crash. “Bro…. he’s back,” said Coco. She showed him the note and it had a giant N. “Cortex….” Said Crash. Crash Bandicoot will return….. Saint Cecelia by Foo Fighters There ain't no secrets anymore My name's been hanging on the hook outside your door Just an old eyesore I got this feeling, I can't keep it down anymore Bring me some healing Saint Cecilia, carry me home to your house of broken bones You're out of sight, I'm out of mind Been sitting watch your pictures drying on the line Just a game of mine I got this feeling, I can't keep it down anymore Bring me some healing Saint Cecilia, carry me home to your house of broken bones I know no matter what I say Days will come and go No matter what I say Nothing's set in stone No matter what I say Days go by I know no matter what I say Days will come and go No matter what I say Nothing's set in stone No matter what I say Days go by I got this feeling, I can't keep it down anymore Bring me some healing Saint Cecilia, carry me home to your house of broken bones I know no matter what I say Days will come and go No matter what I say Nothing's set in stone No matter what I say Days go by I know no matter what I say Days will come and go No matter what I say Nothing's set in stone No matter what I say Days go by I know no matter what I say (Saint Cecilia) Days will come and go No matter what I say Nothing's set in stone No matter what I say Days go by I know no matter what I say (Saint Cecilia) Days will come and go No matter what I say (Saint Cecilia) Nothing's set in stone No matter what I say Days go by Somewhere else, some scientists were looking at the cosmic Star. “Professor Elvin,” said a familiar voice. He turned around and saw a familiar face. “Captain N,” said Elvin. “So how’s the research going?” asked Captain N. “It seems like this is a relic from history,” said Elvin. “This is why I picked you out of all the other scientists,” said Captain N, “You’re the best one I’ve heard about. Have you heard the news?” He showed him a paper article about Star Buterfly. “Looks like she could be a worthy candidate for my task force,” said Captain N, “Aside from using the cosmic star itself.” “Why do people want the cosmic star so much,” said Luna. “Its powerful, maybe unlimitedly powerful,” said Captain N, “It could change the world.” Comet appeared in a mirror. “Well I guess that’s worth a look,” he said. “Well I guess that’s worth a look,” repeated Elvin. TO BE CONTINUED……

[only-embers-remain]

For those of you who don’t know, June is Pride Month. A supposed celebration of everything Queer. And maybe it was that once. Yet I sit here as the month dawns wondering where I fit in a world where such huge things as the Pride Parades exist in every major city in the US. Once it was an act of Defiance against a world that did everything in its power to erase us. To kill us. To ruin us. And for that day that walk in the sun we were invincible for not matter what the world did we still were. No one could take the memories of us away even as they took our lives away.

Now don’t mistake me I know things are better than they once were. I am not going to get arrested today for wearing women’s clothes. I an reasonably expect to not be beat by those more privilege than I well at least in broad daylight. I can tell someone that I am trans and not have them look at me like I just spoke Russian. So in many ways we have much to be proud of. It makes sense in a twisted way that Pride month has become instead of a riot a celebration. That hey look world we are here still. Nice try though. Yet that isn’t the picture. For one month a year I am allowed to be me with out question. I get to be proud of my existence for one month a year. I can expect in more progressive stores and cities things sold catering to my particular demographic or well at least those of us who like rainbows. There isn’t any sign of the pink blue and white flags that represent my specific queerness. Yes let us not go to far after all. For one month of the year I can see books about my people or well those of us who are queer but have little else that hinders them from receiving all the privilege the world is willing to give. Sure you see lesbians, though only ever white ones, and gay couples. You might get to see the lone trans woman and glory in how courageous she is that she wears a dress. Oh my so courageous. It strikes me that Cis People don’t know the meaning of Courageous. They probably don’t after all when have they been so very beaten like we are.

So in this month of pride it is the month to remind me that it is only really this month in which I get to be seen. Though only as a courage piece. As a story for others to consume. Never for my own being. I still will struggle to get my medication that keeps me from ending it all. I will still never be able to find clothes designed to fit a woman who has had the horrific experience of having a testosterone based puberty. I will still get misgendered by even the people who have known me for a year. As if they can’t for some reason see me as the woman I am and not the man that society still tells them I should be. I still have to put in the performance of womanhood to be taken seriously though to be fair so do cis women but at least they only have their credibility on the line not their womanhood. Oh and let us not forget that for this month I get to see how the only way I am allowed to be is if I am white, well to do, preferably male, neurotypical, and quiet about my non-Christian ways. Sure all of those qualifications are specific to the United States but that is really only an addition to shut up the nay sayers. There is one book at the book store that is about non-white experience of queerness, none by those of us on the autistic spectrum, surely no look into how so many of us have PTSD especially in the trans community, no look to how wealth greatly effects this all. I when I say Trans woman there are probably only two names that come to your mind, Caitlyn Jenner, and Laverne Cox. I am proud that a black woman gets to be up there but can you name a single trans man who is famous. I didn’t think so. So yeah let us rename pride for what it really is. Gay White Pride, where the only queer that matters is homosexuals of the cis variety with a sprinkling of trans and crossdressers to add that little spadazzle that makes it feel like a real pride parade. Because crossdressers are totally the same thing as a trans woman, if not better because they make a show of it, make it fun and nothing like reality of the pain of our lives. No of course not. Why aren’t you smiling? You should be smiling.

And you may ask well isn’t any representation good but I want to tell you something, only just. Yes look at all the pretty queers how they sparkle so filled with hot air as to almost be nonexistent. No let us look at what my life is like and why I don’t feel like smiling anymore. Why I want to go back to the riot that was Pride before. See I live in the conflux of a number of underprivileged identifies. Thank god I am white or this would be all the harder. I am homeless and have to deal with the fact that because of my inability to be productive by societal standards I am unwelcome at the calm coffee shops of Seattle. I have to always be tethered to the places that give out low quality food to the teeming masses of us homeless. I haven’t eaten a properly cooked vegetable in over a year. No just carbs and protein for those starving homeless. Moving on from there let us remember that I am a few swayed votes away from loosing my insurance. With it would go my medications, of which I take five different ones on a daily basis. I have over a thousand dollars in pills needed a month to keep me sane. And by sane I mean keep me from cutting up my skin with the knife I have or popping all the pills I can get my hands on in the vain hope that I can go to sleep and never wake up. Depression is not pretty. Oh let us not forget that I also take pills that help me feel human, that let me feel right in my own mind. I run on estrogen and yet my body doesn’t produce it in quantities high enough to be at all functional. Imagine watching a video of some stranger that you have never known and yet they are doing things that you do and things you remember yet they aren’t you. But everything says they should be you. The peep next to you says hey look at this memory of you and I. But it isn’t you and it really never was. Never could be. I really can’t explain dissociation to those who have never felt it and as it effects everyone differently I don’t think there is a close approximation to be had. But remember to smile and be proud. Yeah I feel so accomplished this month in which society tells me oh don’t you worry everything is great now isn’t it. Oh and give us your nonexistent money. Thank you very little.

Yes let us be proud this month. Not outraged that in forty nine states the Trans Panic defense will get you off with murdering a trans woman. All you have to do is say she, or well lets be honest you will say he, didn’t tell you. That you were just so revolted that you had no control over your actions and had to kill her. To beat her. Into a bloody pulp. Oh yeah and that is legal in my state of Washington. It happened this year already in Texas. So yeah. Be proud and happy. Or that I live in one of the ‘gayest’ cities in the US that has a wonderfully gay neighborhood that comes with rainbow crosswalks. So gay. Yeah a neighborhood where trans women can’t be out after dark for fear of being beaten to death. I personally know of six incidents in the first five months of twenty eighteen. All on people I know and I wouldn’t hear of them otherwise. Let’s not look into the violence against trans people of all stripes on the quote gayest neighborhood in the gayest of cities. That is when the violence isn’t being done by the police of course. Not that that happens. Never. Remember smile and be proud. It is our month to exist. But only when we smile of course. Can you see the cracks yet?

Let us not forget history. Every moment of queer liberation has come at the sweat and blood of trans women, often women of color. Stonewall that great moment of rioting. Oh oops I forgot we leave off the riot part. Or that the police were rounding up everyone no mater what they had done. We can make movies of it. Just not with the trans woman who threw the first brick. Who kept the fight going long after the streets had been cleaned and the windows fixed. Yes Marsha P. Johnson is not needed in our gay history. Or of the countless queer people of color who showed up to those first pride parades which were little more than an excuse to pick a fight with the system that hated us. Let us not forget what time we celebrate and why. To honor that first riot, well first recored riot. Same month and to many same day or close to it. Or how trans people have been pushing for every legal reform. Who pushed the 2003 case that got to the supreme court and denounces sodomy laws in all states. Oh little one here several states still have those laws on the books. Oops. Or of Marriage equality. Fuck that we don’t have that. We have federal recognition of a piece of paper. Are our children protected from being torn from us? No. Are we allowed the same medical rights to our loved ones as a straight couple? No. Sure some states are better than others. But not till all are on the same page should we celebrate. I remember being told we had won the fight after that. Ha. By a Drag Queen at a pride parade. A crossdresser who does so for show. I bet you won’t misgender her when she is in costume. Of course not? But what are my pronouns? Yeah I know. So hard to remember. But that fight isn’t over and there are others more important. Conversation therapy. As if you can abuse away the queer. And Abuse it is. Legal in over three quarters of the states. Despite the fact that it tends to kill those it seeks to ‘cure’. But remember we are smiling. Oh and buying. Let us not forget that.

See Pride in Seattle has a long line. Where are the trans people? The fighters of justice? The youth who are our future? At the back behind the likes of Amazon’s wonderful float filled with cis Drag Queens, half of whom are straight while we are at it. Then comes Target, and Microsoft. What the fuck has Microsoft ever done for queer rights? Nothing. Not a damn thing. But they get to be up front so they can advertise, I mean smile and be proud. Sure at least target protects their queer employees. Has desegregated its toy section. Oh my gosh a toy is a toy not specific to gender. What ever will we do? Right. Smile and be proud. For we come after profits. After payments. After the straights. After the pretty shiny ones. Funny isn’t this a queer parade or is it?

So in this month of pride is it any wonder I am left wondering if I should be proud at all. That I wonder why instead of making me want to smile it just brings up more pain and tears. But obviously Pride month has never been for me. Maybe it is for the cis white gay men. Maybe. But I am still here and I will still fight. I won’t be squished by that ever present society. Or well at least I try not to be. There are cracks in the mask and maybe that is where you might find pride. Where the germs gather. Because we aren’t pretty. We aren’t white. We aren’t smiling. But we our proud.