#actually i dont know if u liked my starter call but we talked about me writing a starter for u lkjkljkl

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

never have I played any nights at Freddy fazbears

pls explain the whole plot and all lore to me as if I were small and slightly stupid

oh great timing i literally JUST explained this to my asoue discord

this is a VERY simple summary, but things to keep in mind while reading:

very very VERY little of this is directly spelled out for us. the creator, scott cawthon, LOVES to confuse people on purpose and the vast majority of the lore is gleaned from hidden minigames, secret cutscenes, and easter eggs. this makes things very confusing and controversial within the fanbase, so im gonna try to explain where there are differing opinions

really, there's two main stories: the first main story was completed with FNAF6 and Ultimate Custom Night, the story going on rn is the second and it is still ongoing. as such, a lot of the lore is still a mystery to all of us.

For clarity's sake, I will divide this between: THE AFTON STORY, the one the movie's gonna tell a part of, and THE GLITCH STORY, which the games are going through

dont worry i will make it fun to go through so it doesnt feel like school

ok lets go

THE AFTON STORY

First, let's get a visual chart in here. don't worry it's just for show

These are the important families we will be talking about; the Emily family, with father Henry and daughter Charlie, and the Afton Family, with father William, two sons (Michael and a boy who is still unnamed, he might get named on friday? We call him Crying Child "CC") and a daughter, Elizabeth. Don't worry about the mothers they're not important

Okay so here's the thing: of these four children, all but Michael die VERY early on in the timeline

The problem is we do NOT know THE ORDER each of them died. There's a lot of arguments on all sides but I personally think the order is sad boi->charlie->baby so imma present it in that order. But keep in mind that we don't actually know because of the confusing way the lore is dropped.

okay so for starters.

Backstory/FNAF4

purple guy is william afton and he and this guy vcalled henry start opening a restaurant chain starring freddy fazbear

in the original location they've got two animatronic suits, fredbear and spring bonnie. the other location has freddy, bonnie, foxy, chica

the og location suits are ~special~ tho, bc henry and william are crazy inventor dudes. these suits are called "springlock suits". they function as full animatronics but you can wind all the wires and gears and endoskeleton and shit back and step into the costume yourself. only problem is the safety is jackshit and if you like. cry or sweat or breathe wrong the springlocks will fail and the metal will come crashing back and crush u to death. u should have enough time to get to the back room so u dont bleed out in front of the customers tho. springlock suits are important remember those

michael is in his early teens and has just learned how to be a shit to his siblings and is trying out this hot new bullying thing. he's picking a lot on CC because CC is terrified of the freddy animatronics. it is said that he "saw something" that scared him, it could be anything as benign as "saw someone go into the suit and got freaked out" to something as serious as "saw one of those aforementioned springlock failures and person bleeding out." could also be charlie or elizabeth's death if those happen earlier in the timeline. again we dont know bc cawthon likes to confuse us

CC is not scared of the freddy characters tho, he has all the plushies and calls them his friends. he's just scared of the animtronics. unfortunately his dad works there so he has to be there like 90% of the time so he's having a wonderful time. hence the moniker "crying child". bc he cries all the time

anyway at his birthday party, michael decides it would be really funny to shove CC up into the animatronic's mouth for kicks. this goes about as well as you'd expect cause the mouth closes and fuckin. crushes his head

kid goes into a coma for a while but eventually flatlines. while he's in the coma we hear michael tearfully apologizing, and his fredbear plush talks to him (presumed to be william) saying he will "put him back together"

anyway that was fun. so next up charlie emily gets FUCKING MURDERED

Backstory/FNAF1-2

for some reason charlie gets locked outside the pizzeria. william's driving by and decides to stab her bc why not

honestly most of us believe that this occured after CC just bc it gives william motivation to be pissy at his business partner and kill his kid abt it, but also a book that released a month ago implies that william might have been nightmare gassing his kids for shits and giggles so. who knows. dont worry about that btw its not relevant rn

anyway the thing is willie and henry had an animatronic designed to protect the children called the puppet. the puppet sees charlie outside and goes out to help her but it's raining so it fries up the puppet's circuits and it crashes on top of her dead body. cheery!

except this is where it gets wild bc charlie proceeds to like. possess the puppet

possession is really complicated in this universe but basically there's no real way to communicate openly with people and the possesser might not even be aware of who or where they are or anything really but. yeah the lil girl def possesses the puppet

its after this that william starts killing kids for funsies. a lot of us presume that he saw the puppet getting possessed and was like "holy shit a way to bring crying kid back" but again he might've just decided this was fun

anyway he lures five kids into the Secret Freddy's Backroom That Is Not On The Maps by wearing the spring bonnie costume. after killing them he shoves them into the other animatronic suits (freddy, bonnie, chica, foxy, fredbear "golden freddy") and yeah they start gettin possessed

the fifth missing kid was stuffed in fredbear and here's where it gets veeery theoretical cause we dont have straight confirmation of this but just some theories. it's VERY likely that crying child was also haunting fredbear at this point, and shoving another kid in there got two kids haunting the same bitch and it causes fredbear (golden freddy) to be really fucking weird and glitchy and eldritch or w/e. anyway you dont have to worry about that rn cause golden freddy doesnt show up much they're too busy ascending or smth

now this is where the lore gets confusing-- the first game claims that after the last two were lured, someone was caught on camera, arrested and charged. however we know for a fact willie-boi wasnt caught so either 1) this got retconned when cawthon decided to actually make lore, 2) he wasnt convicted and somehow still kept a hold on the fazbear empire during this, or 3) a lot of us theorize that henry was framed for the crimes and thats why he disappears from the timeline until the sixth game. cause yeah he disappears from the timeline until the sixth game. personally i believe the third it makes a lot of sense but yeah willie-boi stops killing at about five kids

anyway will is going full scientist with all these animatronics and he's like. ripping parts off them and putting them on other animatronics to see what happens. we THINK. again this is really vague but this is just kinda the most logical explanation here.

anyway this is what happens in fnaf2 and what it does is like. split the souls and shit. and he's like "oh this is sick" except this makes all the suits act erratic as hell and very angry towards adults (theyre cool with kids tho) and eventually one of them causes the infamous Bite of 87. we're not entirely sure what it was but one of the animatronics bit off the frontal lobe of someone in 1987. this caused this location to get shut down and willie boi just puts the pieces back on the og animatronics and is like "well shit what do we do now boys"

FNAF5: Sister Location

anyway so this is where we think elizabeth dies in the timeline. william makes these things called the "funtime animatronics"-- we know they are made after a fnaf location shuts down, though it's not specified which. these animatronics are built SPECIFICALLY to kidnap children. ballora is built as a distraction for parents, the other two are built to only move when not seen, and then Circus Baby™ has an arm that can grab kids and drag thtem into her until willie lets em out. she is programmed to only do this when a child is alone in the room so william tells elizabeth "do not go see baby when you are alone in the room"

so elizabeth is like 6 and she goes to see baby when she is alone in the room and baby grabs her but the arm is fucked up and the kid dies p badly

funtime's location is then immediately closed due to "gas leaks" and william rents out the funtimes for parties. at the same time he starts shoving some haunted parts into the funtime animatronics to see what happens. we THINK.

important location here btw is the "scooping room." it's actually very good horror but basically it's a bitch that is supposed to rip the endoskeletons out of the suit whenever theyre malfunctioning. super smart idea that will cause no nightmares going forwards.

anyway the animatronics all kinda know that william killed them so after a while (a few years??? who knows) they start trying to kill him and he's like "hmm. i cannot go into this bunker anymore. let me send michael, my last surviving kid who i hate." this is where michael, now an adult, re-enters the timeline.

mikey boy is told by his dad that he can bring his baby sis back to life if he goes down into this bunker and does some shit. michael is like "oh sweet" bc honestly he probably still feels guilty about literally killing his bro and so he goes down to the bunker.

the animatronics eventually tell him "go into the scooping room it'll be totes mcgotes" and when he gets there he finds out that the animatronics have killed all the other employees, scooped themselves, and fused their endoskeletons into one conglomerate called ennard

ennard is like "yeah we cant escape here cause they just bring us back so we're gonna use you as a skinsuit k thnx" and they scoop him and use him as a skinsuit

it's really good horror i promise

BUT this turned out to be a bad plan because Humans Decay so after like a week ennard gets puked up by the MikeSuit and escapes into the sewers.

here, meanwhile, is where mike pulls a reverse uno card and possesses his own decaying corpse

LIKE A FUCKING BADASS

he then calls up his dad and is like "hey dad :) elizabeth's fine now :) BUT :) they fucking killed me :) because they thought i was you :) you sure sent me down here to die huh :) anyway :) im gonna come find you :) you have a ten minute head start start running :)"

actor really fucking sold that monologue too ngl

so he's like. PISSSSSSED and rightfully so he is walking around in his own corpse. so he goes to find his dad

Backstory/FNAF3

this is about when peepaw willie goes back to the original fnaf location (we THINK) and is like "ok im just gonna take apart all the animatronics and do something with these"

only when he destroys the suits the missing kids' ghosts show up and spook him. so this guy who's been studying ghosts is like "oh fuckshit there's ghosts here" and tries to hide in the spring bonnie suit. only he laughs and this causes the springlocks to malfunction and FUCKING VIOLENTLY KILL HIM. get springlocked idiot

except then HE possesses the spring bonnie suit and this is springtrap. but also he's in a super secret back room while this happens so he is trapped there for a while

FNAF6

so ennard, michael and william are fuckin around for a couple years. at some point ennard decides that elizabeth is kinda a freak actually and kicks her out of the hivemind so she just rebuilds herself a circus baby suit and keeps wanderin around so now we got four bitches doing who knows what

eventually it's been 30 years since the last freddy's closed and someone opens up a haunted house parody of it. mike goes to work there as a security guard* and guess what they found springtrap and bring him to the attraction thinking he's just an animatronic. after five nights of fucking with him mike sets the place on fire to try and finally kill his dad fr. it does not work

*note that this isnt confirmed to be michael but we kinda. all know it's probably him. it really seems to be him

anyway then michael finds out that an actual fazbear's is opening and needs an owner so he goes and becomes owner of the restaraunt. while some guy on a cassette tape is giving him tutorial instructions he sets up the place and also collects several animatronics. these are:

scraptrap (peepaw post-fire and really pissed)

scrapbaby (elizabeth now thinking that maybe if she kills things her dad will pay attention to her)

molten freddy (remains of ennard still not entirely sure what's going on)

lefty (a bear solely built to capture the puppet, who was still fuckin around the fnaf2 location i guess. anyway now the puppet is here thats important)

so after our five nights scrapbaby comes on the speaker system and is like "omg dad if we kill people will you love me. we're gonna kill soooo many people it's my passion actually" and that's when the cassette tutorial guy interrupts her

and he just goes "yeah. you're not doing that"

anyway he's like "hi guys. you remember me??? henry??? from 30 years ago?? i owned half this business? you killed my daughter and stuffed her soul in a puppet? lmao yeah i literally lured you all here and you came like the fucking idiots you are. im setting the place on fire, we're all gonna die and go to heaven. except for YOU, WILL. you are not going there. lmao bye" and he sets the place on fire and they all burn. it's more epic when he says it tbh

now henry mentions that he had an escape route ready for the building owner but he figured out the owner was michael and was like "i feel like you wanna stay and burn with us" and michael's like "fuck yeah"

you might think that wraps up the story nicely but OH NO THERE'S MORE

Ultimate Custom Night

see, the next game is ultimate custom night where you can choose which animatronics hunt you and their level of difficulty. it is through hidden messages and shit that we find out that ucn is, canonically, william being tortured in hell. which is sick af

anyway the tormentor is a spirit labelled "the vengeful spirit" in the files, and "the one you should not have killed" by the animatronics. we sometimes hear either a light voice behind the other animatronic lines (could be either a woman with a light voice, a little girl, or a little boy), and the pic that sometimes shows up as a hallucination is a distorted photo of scott cawthon's son. we know for a FACT this spirit is someone from the fnaf6 fire cause they reference the fire more than once while poking willie with a stick. it's probably not elizabeth cause she was just tryin to get her dad's attention. it's not charlie/puppet bc one of her lines is like "ffs just stay out of my way for ONCE." we also know for a fact it's not henry cause they were like "henry sure tried to release us huh. not happening im not letting you go that easily bitch haha" so that narrows it down to michael and the missing kids

now here's the thing.

the vaaaaast majority of the fandom is convinced that the vengeful spirit is cassidy, the missing child that was stuffed inside golden freddy with cc. this is because golden freddy is in a looot of ultimate custom night and if you beat the hardest mode you just get a quick cutscene of him glitching and then everything fades to black

however. i have seen legiterally no convincing evidence that this is the case. all we know about cassidy is she is the golden freddy missing kid and was talking to cc through the logbook. and we BARELY know this. in the alternate universe book she first showed up in (the silver eyes) she wasn't even the golden freddy kid. people point out a similar situation to her and cc in fazbear frights where one of the kids was tormenting william (stitchwraith) but that's literally a whole separate universe and completely separate characters with separate backstories and personalities

there's a sprite in security breach who fights glitchtrap (explained below) who was named in the files as "cassidy" so ppl point to that but 1) they changed that name after people made a deal out of it, 2) that could mean literally anything, 3) the protag of the next game was named "cassie" and her story kinda paralleled the sprite's first game so uuhhhh anyway

honestly i think it's WAY more likely the vengeful spirit is mr michael "i'm going to come find you and set you on fire twice" afton, using his childhood likeness to fuck with his dad. this is strengthened by one of the easter egg cutscenes in ucn, where the vengeful spirit talks to a benevolent spirit who tells them to "leave the demon to his demons. there is nothing for you here." the audio in the background is someone distortedly screaming "HENRY" and "MICHAEL"

one of the animatronic lines also says "is this a prison for you or for me? perhaps both" implying that the vengeful spirit feels like they belong in hell, which would fit with mike's "i killed my brother" self-loathing. the golden freddy glitch could very easily be his mental anguish as well as william's, with the optional cutscene telling us that while michael is self-harming by torturing his dad in hell, he has the ability to move on and find peace if he can forgive himself. honestly i really like that open ending there

another point towards "vengeful mike" theory is that we play as him for most of the games (definitely 5 and 6, most likely 1 and 3, some theorize 4) and so him being the vengeful spirit is way more emotionally impactful than "random kid #5"

however every time i bring this up to the fnaf fandom they get really really pissy at me because y'all love ur angry lil girl cassidy headcanons and honestly that is completely fair i also love angry lil girls. im just saying this bc we're going over whats canon rn and i firmly believe in vengeful mike (thank @birdsareblooming for that) but yknow. cassidy is also fun as hell

i wrote a whole essay on this btw these are just the cliffnotes. do you guys wanna see the essay

anyway that's where the afton story ends but OHHH NO MR CAWTHON CANNOT STOP

if you just want a quick catchup before the movie you can stop here but anyway. let's talk mimicry

THE GLITCH STORY

the games coming out recently are kinda a sequel-story and bc theyre still coming out we are still very confused about what the fuck is canon and what is not so this one will be a lot more guessing. i digress let's talk about

Help Wanted

so back on earth, it's the 2020s-2030s. turns out the fazbear company is still functional and they're like "well shit guys what the FUCK do we do about all of That"

so they decide they need a brand cleansing and what they do is they secretly hire an "indie game developer" to make the fnaf games in-universe, to make light of the tragedies and make people take them less seriously. they pretend to have beef with this indie dev but eventually put all of his games into a VR game as a show of "good faith." somehow this actually does work in revitalizing the brand image

also sidenote but the books imply that the indie dev was kidnapped and gaslit into making the games but thats not important

now see there's a glitch in the game and the beta-tester jeremy mentions it and then gets increasingly withdrawn and obsessive. because it turns out there is a Bitch in here

now. the identity of the Bitch is uh. controversial in the fandom rn. i will say for clarity that i am in Party Two and will probably be biased towards that but here's the thing. the Bitch is either:

a digital upload of william afton's soul (somehow escaping hell)

THE MIMIC

Help Wanted Interlude: The Mimic

see, the other books (silver eyes, fazbear frights) are set in a parallel universe-ish to the books, similar rules and worldbuilding but cawthon can fuck around all he wants with no consequences. there were charliebots and springtrap mpreg at one point it was nuts. but the thing is right now they're kinda trying to tell us that the current series, tales from the pizzaplex, is game-canon. god only knows if they'll stick to that so some people think the books are in the game's universe, others think they're parallels to the games and not 1-1 exact much like the others

but anyway they give us crucial lore on The Mimic so here we go

some guy named edwin (some think he's a parallel to henry or william, but rn we're just gonna assume he's canon) is a single dad to a toddler. however he's working for fazbear making all these animatronics and he's sooo busy and needs something to distract the toddler so he creates a fucked up nightmare animatronic called The Mimic, whose programming is extremely basic: "copy whatever you see being done"

the toddler actually loves the fucked up nightmare animatronic and teaches him to play patty-cake and carry around stuffed animals or w/e. anyway then the toddler runs out into the street and gets hit by a car

edwin is still grieving and the mimic comes up carrying the toddler's stuffed animal and still copying him and when the mimic that edwin programmed to copy things is still copying things edwin snaps and just beats the fuck out of it bc he needs a grief outlet. he then abandons the thing but however the mimic has just learned Violence

some employees come by to see where edwin's animatronics are and the mimic just starts killing all of them bc. well. it's supposed to copy things. it will copy things

there's a BIG GAP here in what happens to it next but it disappears for the next 30 years. however it is heavily, HEAVILY implied that it witnessed at least one of the missing children incidents

fazbear actually has a Lot of mimic endoskeletons but bc they start copying violent shit they shut them all down. however they all run on the same program, "mimic1" and fazbear keeps that tech around cause you know it could be helpful

Back to Help Wanted

now here is where the "we only THINK this is canon we dont knkow yet" comes in

back to the vr game, they are just shoving random old pieces of code in there to speefd up the process of making the game cause capitalism doesnt like long development times. this puts the mimic1 program into the program and it immediately sees All Of Afton's Crimes In 4K. it decides "oh yeah i can mimic this but i should probably get a physical body in order to do that"

so beta tester jeremy sees the mimic program, which takes the form of Spring Bonnie Suit. this is Glitchtrap

now keep in mind that some people do still believe that all this aint happenin and the spring bonnie glitch is just william. again i personally believe the mimic cause it makes more sense than "william escaped hell somehow" but w/e

anyway, glitchtrap is fuckin around. it tries to possess beta tester jeremy and in order to stop it, jeremy does the sensible thing and cuts his own face off

so glitchtrap is like "hmm. that didn't work out" and decides to go for the more subtle approach. the next beta tester, currently unnamed, starts recording tapes inside the game to send to the next beta tester so they dont fuck with glitchtrap. glitchtrap however seals itself inside the tapes so that when the beta testers try to delete it, it'll instead be inside the tapes and cant be removed lmao. it then "mimics" tape girl's voice and adds a last tape saying "let him possess you its ok i promise"

it also mimics her intro of "hello can you hear me" in the one time it speaks so. mimic

anyway the next beta tester is this gal named vanessa and she gets possessed like suuuper quickly and glitchtrap is like "oh fucking FINALLY"

Security Breach Therapy Tapes

vanessa's acting weird at work so company requires her to go to therapy, however she has the same therapist as Another Patient. this patient will be named later however right now we're calling them Patient 46. they do not talk but have the same therapist as Vanessa and is creepy about it. anyway whenever a therapist prods too much into either Vanessa or P46's life, or discovers them fucking with fazbear tech, the therapist mysteriously goes missing and shows up later dead and mangled by machinery

they go through like five of these bitches at least, but it's clear P46 is another bitch possessed by glitchtrap but they're like more possessed than vanessa is so glitchtrap likes them better

BUT THAT'S ALL BORING, WE'VE GOT A PIZZAPLEX NOW!!!

Security Breach

fazbear opens a giant 80s-style mall with a ton of attractions like disneyland or w/e and call it the Mega Pizzaplex. There's state-of-the-art animatronics in here that are basically sentient ai. they might be possessed but we're not actually sure rn they might just be advanced robots

they start with "glamrock" freddy, bonnie and chica, along with roxy wolf instead of foxy. we're not sure why rn. anyway at some point something suspicious happens and bonnie is found mangled and he's replaced with montgomery gator, a c-list animatronic they had to run the golf course. he doesnt seem to take the spotlight well and has started breaking things but its probably fine

anyway they eventually realize they can automate the staff and stop paying human beings and they jump on that cause they love cutting costs. they've got staffbots everywhere except for ONE person- vanessa, who is hired as the security guard. we find a note saying that her interviewer found her too inexperienced for the position, but someone "very" high up in the company pushed her into the role. this is implied to be glitchtrap taking over the systems

so vanessa and P46 are shoving glitchtrap into the systems because, well, guess what? the pizzaplex is built on top of the fnaf6 location. the one where henry set them all on fire, and they're trying to do some sort of shit with the burnt remains of springtrap. if you believe in william!glitchtrap he's trying to get his body back; if you believe in mimic!glitchtrap he's trying to fuse himself to afton's corpse in order to gain a corporeal form. it also helps that there is The OG Mimic Endoskeleton in this area (its explained in the books im not going into it) but it's pretty fuckin damaged so they gotta spend some time fixing it before fusing it with peepaw's corpse

but the night they're supposed to do that, something goes wrong: a child is loose in the pizzaplex

glamrock freddy had a malfunction onstage, and when he wakes up in his room, there is a child hiding in his stomach compartment (used for oversized piñatas and cakes). this child is named gregory and he looks suspiciously like the crying child and we dont have an explanation for that but no, matpat, he's not a robot, it's probably just symbolism

anyway gregory actually has like very little memory of what's going on and barely remembers his own name but he says that vanessa the security guard is trying to fuckin kill him so he needs to get tf out of the pizzaplex. freddy's like "well you're shit out of luck cause the doors close and seal until 6am but that's fine we can make it til then" and gregory's like "fucking JOY"

long story short gregory has to run around the pizzaplex while every animatronic but freddy is trying to kill him. freddy is not trying to kill him bc his malfunction caused him to enter Safe Mode and it turns out that Safe Mode is safe from the glitchtrap virus. everyone else, however, gets glitchtrapped and is trying to kill this kid

you dont find out why until like laaaate in the game and even THEN you're confused until one of the goosebumps-knockoff short stories confirms a thing, and that thing is:

gregory is patient 46

oh shit

turns out gregory was possessed by glitchtrap for FUCK knows how long and was used as its body for like the entire time. and when he eventually wakes up un-possessed (no idea how that happened) he has no memory of whats going on at ALL and is understandably fucking terrified. doesnt remember being possessed or killing ppl or anything he just wakes up and runs. glam freddy likely malfunctioned cause glitchtrap was like "oh my god go GET that stupid kid" and glam freddy was like "but???? protecc????" and entered safe mode

so gregory eventually fuckin DEMOLISHES all the other animatronics and uses their parts to upgrade freddy. freddy is like "hey where'd you get these parts" and gregory's like "uhhhhhhhhh dont worry about it" "hey where are my friends" "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT"

while this is happening, a possessed vanessa is in a bunny suit calling herself vanny and also trying to kill him. this is just as confusing to us as it is to you

anyway there are six endings to security breach. according to the most recent game, there is a chance that two of them are canon. WE DO NOT KNOW which of the two is canon. these are the endings:

Princess Quest Ending: greg and freddy try to confront vanny and she gets freddy ripped apart by staffbots. gregory then finds an arcade game in her room and plays and beats it which sets her soul free (presumably he knew how to do this cause he's remembering bits and pieces of being possessed??? idk). anyway once the game is beat she is unpossessed and takes gregory and freddy's decapitated head out of the pizzaplex

Burntrap Ending: gregory and freddy avoid vanny and go to the fnaf6 basement where freddy starts acting all fucked up and then thtey find the Springtrap corpse, now Burntrap (fused with the mimic? glitchtrap? yknow). it tries to kill them so you have to Boss Fight everything and then set him on fire again. THEN a tangled mess of animatronic wires with a funtime freddy head (remains of ennard???) shows up and drags him off. again, just as confusing for us as it is for you. freddy and gregory escape. no idea where vanessa is

ONE of these is canon. we do not know which. this is making the fanbase super chill and normal /lying

Evidence for Princess Quest: in ruin, we see a headless glamrock freddy in the exact same area he is in pq. we also have no sign of vanny trying to help glitchtrap. you can collect gregory's fanart of his own game and pq is the only one he didn't draw. princess quest arcade game has sword sticking out of it

Evidence against Princess Quest: aforementioned headless freddy is labelled a prototype on his foot and we know for a fact that our freddy does not have that stamp. he also has a gift inside his stomach when freddy gave his stomach gift to gregory already (and it was a diff color). the pq arcade game has sword sticking out of it BUT that could symbolize the princess being skewered, and surrounding the game is art of the escaped glitchbunny

Evidence for Burntrap: labelled as "true ending" in the files, only ending to be FULLY animated instead of switching to comic form and also only one with boss fight, the tangled animatronic mess is definitely canon (we see it, gregory draws it so he saw it too which means he went in the basement where it was), while vanny isn't seen her grafitti is everywhere and appears to be recent

Evidence against Burntrap: the "true ending" label, like cassidy, could mean literally fucking anything. also if vanessa is still under his control why the fuck doesnt she help him where is she

so yeah we're having fun figuring THAT out

Ruin (the end so far thank god)

the most recent game we got, then, was the dlc for the above game, this dlc is called ruin. a few months after this, a lil girl named cassie wanders into the ruins of the pizzaplex cause her best friend gregory told her to meet him there. when she gets there she finds a walkie-talkie and he's like "girl im trapped under the pizzaplex you need to shut down the security and come get me" and she's like "sounds great"

she finds vanny's mask and puts it on and enters an AR world where a glitched bunny is trying to kill her (this one isnt glitchtrap actually) and a friendly little AR bear is telling her to keep going she's doing a great job (this one IS glitchtrap probably)

anyway it turns out her backstory is her dad worked for the pizzaplex and she had a birthday party there with her Favorite Character Roxy and literally none of her friends showed up. she was sad about it until gregory showed up and became her friend. then gregory went missing and she was sad

anyway the last security node is favorite character Roxy and roxy recognizes her and is nice to her and its very sad

cassie eventually goes down to the fnaf6 basement and is like "ok gregory i opened the door are you okay" and PSYCH, IT'S NOT GREGORY

IT'S

THE

MIMIC

the mimic immediately tries to kill her bc it likes violence but roxy shows up to save her. the real gregory calls her on the walkie-talkie and is like "bITCH GET OUT OF THERE" and she's like "IM TRYING" and gregory's "friend" (whose pronouns are very specifically blurred out, so it could be either freddy or vanessa) uses the building maps to help her to an elevator. however when she gets in the elevator gregory's like "yeahhhhh sorry we cant let you be followed :(" and drops the elevator, trapping her there

it's like a 99% chance this last bit was not gregory but it was the mimic, seeing as gregory is not even in the pizzaplex and the mimic lost cassie right next to the elevator fuse box that it could easily rip out. so you know

anyway we end with either roxy finding cassie or the mimic using roxy's voice finding her so this kid's fucked lmao

also other questions about if mimic is burntrap is that we see the mimic p naked in this game and not in a fun corpse skinsuit so where did bunny go??? however i will also mention that there is a secret ending that shows us that the FUCKING SCOOPER is here so. personally i think that answers that question. get scooped idiot

oh also if you noticed "hey 'cassie' sounds a lot like 'cassidy,' the golden freddy kid who was sharing a body with the crying child, who has a similar design to gregory," congrats! we've noticed that too! we have no fucking idea what it means! :D

and thaaaaat's five nights at freddy's

that didnt take too long did it

[paradiseprincesss]

need a jonathan story where reader is bruce wayne's sister with similar morals about fixing gotham so she's a psychiatrist at arkham. her and jonathan butt heads a lot as she doesn't like how inhuman he is to his patients (he has a secret obsession with her). however she starts getting in the way of his plans and que the "this is where we make the medicine" scene. batman comes to save her and even though jonathan is high on fear he hears batman call reader his sister, so he plans to kidnap and/or blackmail the reader. Can be pure dark or dark with a change of heart?

love your work, but you already know that xoxo

all your fears are interwoven | jonathan crane

materlist

this is dark which i dont usually write so please...bare with me okay? IM SORRY IF THIS ISN'T GREAT LMFAO !! trying to write dark for u pookie <333

summary: you're a psychiatrist in the first year of your residency at arkham, working alongside doctor jonathan crane himself. however, you two are constantly butting heads due to your different beliefs in the treatment of your patients, amongst other things. one day, jonathan finds out that your the little sister of the batman himself - and he decides to act out on every sinister thought he's ever had about you.

word count: 3k

warnings: [NON-CON], 18+ mdni, smut, dark as hell, p in v, forced breeding, kidnapping, stalking, obsession, literally just all around terrible, terrible things

"it's inhumane," you argued, "no wonder your patients are terrified of you."

"because i don't feed into their delusions and paranoia?" jonathan scoffed, "i keep them medicated because they're mentally ill. if you haven't noticed, were in an asylum for the criminally insane."

"see, that the problem when it comes to you! you're not treating them like people, but rather prisoners." you sneer, rolling your eyes at his distasteful way of speaking about his patients.

for a moment, he's silent. he doesn't say a word, but you can tell you've hit a nerve with the way he physically reacts. his jaw is clenched, his eyes narrow at you, and he takes a short but sharp breath through his nose to try and appear composed.

"i have something i'd like you to see," he says calmly, "i think it'll help you understand my 'unorthodox' methods, as you like to call it."

you were a new grad from gotham university, specifically from their medical department. you'd graduated top of your class in medical school, and you'd matched in psychiatry for your residency. hence why you were working alongside doctor jonathan crane - the renown psychiatrist of gotham city himself.

when you first met him, he was cold towards you - and nothing changed. even a year into your residency, he was still cruel towards you. actually, that's a lie because he seemed to hate you even more than he did before. you two butted heads constantly over anything and everything under the sun. you thought he was heartless, but he thought you were too cynical. you believed his methods were 'unorthodox' as you liked to say, but he thought your methods were mind-numbingly boring. you two clashed in every possible way.

nobody liked working with him. you knew that already, though. it didn't take long for you to figure out why after you first started, as for starters, none of his employees hid their distaste towards him, and he didn't hide how much he disliked them back. he often called the other nurses, doctors, or medical professionals working there an array of insulting things, including but not limited to: imbecile, idiot, braindead, and painfully stupid. that was actually a few of the nicer things he called people - we don't talk about what he's called you.

you contemplated switching over to a different speciality because of jonathan crane many times, as working with him was exhausting. you still had three years of your residency and training left! how were you supposed to stand three more years with him? your brother, bruce wayne, always listened to you vent about jonathan - he didn't like him either. he always said that man was up to something, and he didn't know what but that it was bad news.

"are you incapable of forming a proper response, doctor wayne?" jonathan sneered, bringing you out of your thoughts, "you really are dense. the fucking lights are on but clearly no one's home."

"what are you, twelve?" you bark back, "i don't fucking-"

"i'm working on a new psychopharmacological drug," he cuts you off with a smirk, "i know, you're too stupid to understand anything about medication-"

"i went to the same medical school you did, jonathan." you retaliate, but he pays no mind to your words.

"like i said, i know you're too dumb to understand such complex specialities such as internal medicine and psychopharmacology, but i think it's something you'd benefit from learning about." he explained flatly.

as much as you wanted to punch him in his face, he had a point. you weren't dumb by any accounts, you were probably just as smart, if not smarter than him. however, as a training physician in her residency, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get some hands on training in prescribing and dosages for mentally ill patients. it would help you in your career, to be fair.

"...fine," you huff, "tell me about it."

"this way, please." he says, ushering you to follow him into the elevator.

with annoyance, you follow him silently, not wanting to talk to him or give him any form of a verbal response at all. jonathan looked at you with a hunger in his eyes; unbeknownst to you, the brilliant but sociopathic psychiatrist had a deep, twisted, and disturbing obsession with you. he had your pictures plastered on the walls of his house. he knew where you lived as he'd broken in a few times unnoticed, and he knew pretty much everything about you - down to the smallest details.

for someone as brilliant as him, he had yet to figure out you were bruce wayne's sister, though. he knew your last name was wayne, but he didn't really put two and two together because he didn't expect you to be the sister of bruce wayne himself.

once you two reached the basement of the asylum, he led you through a series of dark, eerie hallways and you made note to shoot your brother a text about how crane was being extra strange and creepy at work today. in an attempt to slip away from jonathan, you clear your throat and try to come up with a feasible excuse.

"um, doctor crane," you say to him, your tone starting to become shaky, "i-i'm not feeling too well, i think i'm going to go back to my office to grab some advil."

the trembling of your voice doesn't go unnoticed by jonathan, and he knew that you knew where this was going. he grabs your arm harshly, and drags you through a door in which you're met with a distressing sight - multiple inmates of arkham mixing up chemicals in a makeshift lab, and pouring the liquids into what appeared to be a sewerage of some sort that seemed to leak into gotham city's plumbing and piping.

as your eyes were fixated on the scene in front of you, you failed to notice jonathan putting on his scarecrow mask and when you did - it was too late. a white, potent gas was sprayed in your face, and you immediately started to gag and cough on it as it felt like you were suffocating from the inside out. your lungs started to burn and your head was clouded, along with your vision.

"awe, having trouble?" he cooed as he grabbed you by the neck, choking you harshly.

before you could even formulate a response, a loud bang echoed in the lab. jonathan released his grip on your neck instantly, and though all your senses were disturbed, you could still articulate a few of his words through your current state. he said something about "the batman," and you knew that bruce was here to rescue you. internally, you thanked every higher power you could think of for having your brother come to your rescue.

not long after you heard jonathan say that, you looked up from the ground to see bruce with his hands gripped on jonathans face, his pale blue eyes widened and crazed. it appeared that bruce - the batman - had sprayed crane with whatever he had sprayed you with, and he was definitely seeing some shit while on his own drugs.

bruce's words were unintelligible at this point as you were just as drugged up as jonathan was, but you managed to hear jonathans voice meekly say something along the lines of "she's your sister?" bruce threw jonathan onto the ground, and the sound of police sirens could be heard in the background before your words were starting to become heavily slurred, and finally, your vision went black.

as your eyes fluttered open, you noticed that you were back inside of your own apartment. as your vision adjusted to the light, you noticed bruce calling your name softly as you sat up on your bed groggily.

"you're awake," he said quietly, coming over to sit on the edge of your bed, "how are you feeling?"

"what happened?" you ask as your head started to spin.

"long story," he sighed, "but i've been looking into crane for a while - all his experiments on his patients and such. it's inhumane, like you said, but it turns out he's been slowly trying to poison gotham city as a whole."

"what?" you say with surprise, "wait, i...what?"

"gordon had him arrested," he explained, "he had him locked up in arkham, but there was a mass escape. he's on the loose again."

everything that bruce was telling you was making you sick - what did he mean jonathan was just prowling around the city again?! with a deep breath, you look down and shake your head, tears welling in your eyes.

"i don't understand..." you whisper, and bruce reaches a hand out to your shoulder.

"i think you should stay at wayne manor for a while," he says softly, "it's safer for you there, i don't want you to be alone in your apartment."

"yeah, i think so too." you agreed.

"great," he says, "i'll grab us some food, and then we can start packing and head over to mine. sound good?"

"okay, can we get takeout from that chinese place i like?" you ask with a soft smile, and your brother nods.

"yeah, i'll go pick it up right now. do you think you'll be okay for about half an hour alone? maybe we should just head to mine first..." he says, looking at you with concern.

"bruce," you say softly, "i'll be okay. the sun is still out, it's like, mid-day still. don't worry."

it takes some convincing, but bruce eventually agrees and leaves to go pick up the takeout a few blocks down from your place. after a few minutes, you hear your door being unlocked. you get up from your bed inquisitively, unsure as to why bruce was back so soon. knowing him, he probably forgot his wallet or something. however, once you entered your living room, you were met with a sight that made your heart drop.

jonathan crane himself, standing there in your living room, with his scarecrow mask on. his unsettling but strikingly blue eyes met with yours as he looked at you through the small cutouts of his mask, and he smirked to himself.

"are you feeling alright?" he asked with a sickeningly sweet tone, "i'm sure my fear toxin had you feeling quite...disoriented."

you stagger backwards, gripping onto your bedroom doorframe as fear consumed you once more. you swallowed hard, and continued to backup as he stepped forward menacingly.

"m-my brother is going to be home soon." you whimper.

"oh, batman?" he chuckles lowly, his voice seemingly distorted with his mask, "i wouldn't be too sure of that, sweetheart. i thought i heard him say he was going to be at least half an hour."

your mind went stagnant as he told you that, and you wondered with panic on how he would know that information. jonathan seemed to have picked up on what you were thinking, as he took a step closer and lifted his wrist up to show that he had some sort of contraption that could gas you with his so called "fear toxin" at any given moment.

"you really are brainless, aren't you, sweetheart?" he cooed, "silly girl, i can't believe you didn't notice all the little cameras and recording devices i've been planting in your home."

"wh-what cameras?" you say as you felt tears run down your cheeks out of sheer panic and fear.

"i've been breaking in for months, i can't believe you haven't noticed," he snickered, getting closer and closer to you, "i want you so bad, sweetheart. and to think, i almost had you before the batman had to come and ruin things for me."

"please," you whimper, "don't...d-don't hurt me."

"don't give me a reason to." he shrugged, before lunging at you and pinning you against the wall with his hands wrapped around your neck. "it'll be easier if you don't struggle. otherwise, i might have to dose you with my medicine again."

"please, n-no-" you gasp, as his hands tightened around your neck.

"maybe i will, you look so beautiful when your fears are interweaving themselves with your reality. isn't the nightmare just to die for?" he asked dramatically, before throwing you onto your own bed harshly.

your lack of response must have set him off, though, because he decided to harshly grab at your hair. he cranked your head back so roughly that you could feel the strain in your neck, and you would rather he just strangulate you right now rather than put you through whatever he was about to.

"say you love it," he growled, "say you love me."

"f-fuck, no." you weakly whined, and he was lifting his other hand up before you started talking again, "i-i'm sorry, yes - i love you!"

you immediately rushed your words out, even if they were forced and untrue, because you really didn't want to be dosed with his fear toxin once more. the effects were worse than any fucked up nightmare you'd ever had.

"good girl," he cooed as he started to forcefully undress you, making you choke back a sob, "ugh, i can't wait to absolutely fucking ruin you."

the smell of his cologne flooded your senses, and you felt more tears drip down your face as he continued to undress you with zero resistance. you tried to tell yourself that maybe you were just having a nightmare, a side effect from the drugs - but you knew that wasn't true. bruce wouldn't be back for at least another half hour, giving jonathan free range to do whatever he wanted to you.

you had zoned out so deeply to cope that when you finally stopped dissociating, he was already fumbling with his belt buckle. as you tried to grab his wrist to force him away from you, the pressure from your hand accidentally triggered his wrist band to spray his fear toxin directly at you. you choked and sobbed as you heard him chuckle lowly through his mask, and at this point - you'd given up.

you stopped trying to fight it because it was no use. he had already won. his fear toxin was seeping into your every sense. the fears that were interwoven in your subconscious were now playing out right in front of you. it was like watching your worst nightmare, only fifty times worse, on repeat. at this point, you thought you were going to lose your sanity permanently.

jonathan had pulled your panties off of you with ease, as you were too high on the toxin to even understand what was going on in this very moment anymore.

the less you fought, the better.

with a groan, he forced himself into your cunt, breeching your hole painfully. obviously, there was a struggle because one, you weren't even in contact with reality right now and two, he was forcing himself onto you.

he spat down onto your cunt after a few moments, and that seemed to work. he let himself sink into you slowly, stretching you out painfully as you laid there in tears, unintelligibly whispering and pleading. he didn't bother to prep you or even try to make this enjoyable for you, since it was never really about you in the first place. it was about him; his pleasure and sick, disgusting, twisted obsession with you.

"fuck," he groaned, "you're so tight i think i might fucking break you, sweetheart."

he continued to fuck himself in and out of you, his length reaching places inside of you that shouldn't be reached. you couldn't tell which one was worse: the terrifying nightmares being fuelled in front of you or the pain in your lower region from his fat, veiny cock breaking your cunt in.

the tears never stopped, continuously pouring down your face as you tried to beg him to stop - but the words never came out. they couldn't. you were starting to feel every ounce of sanity you had left slip away from your body, leaving you in a permanent state of living hell.

"it's a concentrated - mm, f-fuck,- dose, my love. you're slipping away, i can feel it in the way your squeezing me." he groaned as he continued to split you open on his cock, rocking his hips back and forth as he held your waist still with an iron grip.

"s-stop." you weakly whispered, but he laughed lowly at the sad attempt.

you knew that you'd never recover from this, whether it be the assault or the effects of the fear toxin - both were things that would cause you to never live a normal life again.

"m'gonna take you away from here," he huffed, already close, "shit, you feel good- gonna fuck you every god damn day and fill you with my cum 'till you have my babies. keep giving you my cum over and over again."

that almost sounded worse than the disturbing, mind-rotting imagines that were flashing before your eyes right now from the toxin. you couldn't imagine a life that hellish - but you couldn't exactly object with the state you were in.

"don't worry," he says as he kept talking to you, "you're not going insane, sweetheart. fuck - like i said; it's a concentrated dose. you'll be back to your stuck up, whorish, braindead self in about twenty four hours."

twenty four hours? how were you suppose to survive for twenty four hours like this? how? you didn't know, but jonathan didn't seem to care. he did not care at all - all he cared about was kidnapping you and stuffing you full of his cum. all he craved for months was to give you his babies. get you nice and full, pregnant by him.

you didn't even notice when his hips stilled and his cum poured into your abused cunt, filling you with every drop he had. he let out a satisfied groan, and hesitantly, he pulled out.

you lay there as still as ever, tears still pouring down your face as you tried to remind yourself that the shadows, the whispers, and whatever other hellish things you were hallucinating were not real. jonathan then threw your pyajamas back on you in a hurry, and picked you up bridal style.

"c'mon," he says softly, as if he cared about you - as if you liked this, "let's go home."

my taglist (join here!): @girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @pennybee22 @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

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@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

[odairing-a]

@butscrewmefirst <3′d for a starter !

THE  GLASS  CONTAINER  IS  UNCORKED  then  tipped  into  an  elegantly curved  glass.  this  is  a  motion  finnick has  performed  countless times  in  service to  a  buyer, but  not  until  recently  has  this  beverage of  deep  cerise  been so...  unconventional.  he  had  thought he’d  seen  it  all.  he  had  been  wrong. the  metallic  scent  wafts  upwards, and  he  thumbs away  a  stray  drop  clinging to  the  lip  of  the  bottle.  this  is  his  second night,  here.  he  wonders  how  close  he  came  to  becoming  the  contents  of  one  of  these  bottles. he  wonders  if  she  will  grow  bored  of  him,  and  wonders if  that  fate  is  what  will  happen when  she  does.  he  doesn’t trust  the countess,  but  he  is  an  actor  of  impeccable talent  with  a  thousand  intricately crafted  masks  at  his  disposal, one  of  them  being  her  lover. he  turns,  ocean  hues  greeting that  of  the  other,  then  approaches,  handing her  the  glass. “  there’s a  frequenter  at  a  strip  club  a  few  blocks away.  I’ve  known  him  since  I  was  sixteen,  and  he’s  known  me  as  well.  ”

he  sits  upon  the  mattress at  her  side,  lips  parted in  thought,  eyes  softened  with  feigned  innocence,  but  sharp  in  alertness.

“  if  it  pleases  you,  darling, I  think  I  can  rather easily  sway  him  to  come  with  me  here. I’m  somewhat  convincing, you  see.  ”  a  smirk  flickers onto  his  expression, fading  almost  as  soon  as  it  appears. he  does  not  sway  from  her  gaze.  “ once  he’s  here,  I  want  to  tie  him  to  the  bed,  and  he  will  let  me  do  it.  after  he  is  restrained,  I  want  to  kill  him.  slowly. I  want  him  torn apart.  ”  head  tilts  almost  curiously. “  you’ll help  me?  ”

she  is  far  more  experienced in  murder  than  he,  but  he  prides himself  on  being  a  quick  learner. finnick  is  a  survivor, and  he’s  vicious and  cunning  as  a  serpent. his  lover  needs  to  feed,  and he  happens  to  know  plenty of  individuals  who  are  deserving of  facing  such  wrath,  individuals who  not  only  does  he  know  their  names and  general  locations,  but owns  a  piece  of  each  of  their  hearts.  how  easily such  vile  creatures fall  desperately  in  love  with him,  and  his  heart  races  in  pleasure at  the  thought of  betraying  that  foolish  trust  in  a  gush  of  gorgeous  crimson, an  avalanche  of  screams. the  countess  does  not  love  him,  but  she  is  so  tantalizingly capable  of  helping him  exact  revenge, and  has  so  much  to  gain  from  it  all!  it’s  so  perfectly  crafted in  theory…  

the  tales  that  fall  from  his  tongue somehow  surface  easier  to her  than  to  another.  she  feels  like  a  vault  of  secrets, someone  who  holds  no  real  affections  for  him,  no  real  desire to  use  these  emotions  for  his  gain  or  suffering, simply  a  weapon  he whispers  to.  he  continues  in  a  detached murmur.

“  he’s  only  one  of  the  endless  who  have  ruined  me  over  and  over  and  over  again.  and  the  anger  is  rotting me  from  the  inside.  I’m  hollow  now. there  is  nothing left  of  me.  I’m  broken, I’m  numb,  I’m  dead  and I  will  never  live again  because  of  people  like  him.  he  ripped  away  everything  from  me,  and  I  want  to  make  him  to  feel...  just  the  smallest amount  of  agony  I’ve  endured  because of  him.  I  don’t  want  him  just  to  regret touching  me,  or  ever  crossing my  path,  I  want  him  to  wish  he was  never  born.  I’ve  been  angry  for  a  long time,  love.  I’ve  never  gotten to  indulge  that  rage  before  now—  you  will  help  me,  won’t  you?  ” voice  carries  with  it  a  submissive  plea.  he  reaches  and  tucks  a  lock  of  white  blonde behind  her  ear,  palm  coming to  rest  against her  cheek.  he  thumbs  it  back  and  forth,  gaze  begging for  her  approval. “  don’t  I  deserve  it? after  so  much  pain?  ”  

[bondedtrauma]

send a url and i’ll tell you what i think of them!    /    ACCEPTING let me talk about u!!!!!

  @miasmalungs​​​  asked  :   ❤️ + me

tomy  🤝  me

loving horror aesthetics

lobotomy i LOVE ur filthy rot brain. the aesthetics that your blog + muses hold are so FUCKING!!!! GOOD! we don’t have NEAR enough interactions on this blog NOR MY MULTI. i’m gonna bodyslam u into discord for plotting. also i hope u like the nickname ‘tomy’ because it’s sticking for life. i love your psd for your icons! it makes me want to switch my own to match lol. it can fit a lot more of an expression in a bigger canvas and brrrrr it scratches my brain. your blog aesthetic is so perfectly creepy and i ADORE IT. i love our alpha conversations ooc on discord too! some of the shit u and leo be saying tho.......my god i added both of the biggest crazies on this hellsite. also ur graphics are all gorg and i love seeing u post edits/reading new bios!

as for MUSES: HISAO is such a rat i love him SO MUCH. i want to write more with him and kaneki ofc -- they have such a funny dynamic and even if ken pushes him around he really loves his company :) he’s starting to see him as a dad figure that he always craved as a kid and it makes me....angsty. 12/10!!!!! AGELOS is a character i just KNOW elli’s savior complex would just jump out at. i havent interacted with him yet but i just read his bio / interactions and ;w; WEEP!!!!  i’m taking him away from u bc ur too mean to him. i wanna kiss their little forehead and tell them tht theyve done enough.

IZZABEL is so interesting to me ! i havent interacted with them yet, but i see her threads on my dash with other ppl and im always just so ENTRANCED by her. the best word i can use to describe her is just haunting. they are another oc i just wanna hug and say everything will be okay!!!!! i hope she finds peace at one point UGH. deserved. ELLIOT has such an intriguing backstory! the mystique of finding out that you dont actually know as much as you thought you did about someone is always a harrowing experience, and i feel like that could be explored so well within lovelace’s psyche. mwah i love that trope tldr LOL. 

i haven’t yet interacted with JUNIOR, but i’m always SO excited to see his threads on my dash. he is the literal definition of ‘ little shit ‘ , and i feel like sekiko would wanna punt him across a football field. i crave that interaction LOL. i don’t know much about him quite yet, but i want to learn ! hanako being his fc fits ur blogs aesthetic too oml...pats him on the head. he seems like someone who would bite. does he bite? EUN is my favorite muse on ur blog. like hands down i adore him. i actively look forward to seeing his threads with you and my mutuals. he is SO FUCKING FUNNY. like he’s not even trying to be but the threads have me cracking up each time. also his BROTHER is hot and thats extra points. he’s such a brat and elli would mother him 100%. if he ever tried a pick up line on sekiko she would laugh in his face.  ALSO putting the rest under a read more because its getting long lol

DAEJEON yes sirrrrr!!!! im proud to say i was the first like on ur first starter call for him after his creation. clocked in a .4076 miliseconds because i’m just built that different. i love the interaction that he and elli held, and i think they could have a really cute platonic/sibling dynamic!! she just needs to be looked after 24/7 she gets into so much trouble just because of her naivete all the time. another possible plot could be them working together seeing that she interns in cyber forensics :) i always love ocs with chainsawman characters as a fc and MIER is no exception!! i love the uncanny valley vibe he has going and want to see more of him on my dash!!!! LET ME INTERACT WITH HIM!!!!

grabs SYBIL by the neck and squeezes him like a squeaky toy. I LOVE HIM. i love characters like him and idc if its problematic i just adore them. hes so creepy and rude and the idea of him wearing/creating masks is SO cool. he and sekiko’s past threads have cracked me up and we should have more of them!! GIVE ME A STARTER FOR HIMMM I COULD FIX HIM. GORI is so heartbreaking!!!! i have a thing for being TERRIFIED of losing my s/o and gori’s backstory is so sad :( i can’t imagine having to raise a kid after such a Wild(tm) incident. he has all of my support and i want to give him a forehead kiss....

JURO my love!!!!!! he’s reminiscent of frankenstein’s monster for me, and i just LOVE him. he’s so precious to me tbh idek why i have such an attachment to this muse. i just DO. grabby hands give me more of him!! SEVEN is such a perfect twist on the guardian angel trope. we haven’t had many interactions, but he was so kind to sekiko and i just want to hug him!! he seems so gentle and kindhearted but know you hes probably secretly fucked up LOL. CASINO is the coolest name ever so i wanna get that out of the way LOL. i love disturbed characters and i love putting elli in front of them with her ‘ i can fix them ‘ mindset. please let her try to fix him. he’s so gross but i LOVEH IM!!!! nasty, nasty, NASTY. i wanna know why sybil let him go 👀 and, lastly, tomatsu! i don’t believe i’ve seen any interactions with him yet, nor interact, but his design is SO COOL. i want to see a thread of him going feral <3

tldr: follow lobotomy for pretty graphics and wild muses!!!! plot wiht me tomy

[vulpes-z3rda]

SFW Alphabet ~ Bakugou

a/n: i have a few things in my drafts that just need editing before i publish them and then i should have a bit more consistent upload schedule, i just have college starting again soon so i’ll have to balance it!

for now though, i hope you enjoy this! yes i am moving my wattpad content over here dont @ me shush

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

For starters, we all know he isn't the most... in touch with his emotions. But he's more than ready to show whatever emotions he has to for you. I mean, he doesn't just cuddle anyone when they seriously need it.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Well, you probably beat his ass somehow in some training activity Aizawa set. Or you stood up to him when you were younger to protect Midoriya. Whatever it is you did, it made him appreciate you so much more. Also, he'd basically be like your little bodyguard or guard dog so take advantage of it. He would never admit to any of this by the way.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

I mean... of fucking course he does!!! It's not like he'll go out of his way every time to do it with you, but when he's up for it, he won't want to let you go.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He never really imagined himself settling down with anyone ever. Of course, his mind changed when you can into his life. You're the first person to ever make him question what he wants his future to be like. The bonus to having him as your boyfriend is that he's an amazing chef and he cleans very well and often.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He'd be very reluctant to do it in all honesty. This is Bakugou we're talking about, he doesn't do anything without putting up a fight. Unless he has to do it to protect you... that's really the only way he'd ever let you go.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Well, the subject of commitment is very new to him. What, with him being emotionally constipated or whatever... but he'd probably ask you to marry him after a couple of years of dating.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Let's get real here, he isn't known for being gentle with anyone so why would he be gentle on you? However, he can be a big softie on a rare occasion or when he's drunk.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He's not that much of a hugger unless you really really need one. Honestly, he's surprisingly good at comforting people once he himself has opened up to them. So expect a lot of bear, comfort hugs from this man right here.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It took him a few months. Listen, he's not used to showing how he feels to people so openly, so when he did, he was a shy b o i.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

Well... most people think it's concerning how easily jealous he gets, but you find it adorable. The worst he gets is using his quirk on them, but usually he just verbally threatens them. Like I've said before, he refuses to let you go.. he loves you too much for that.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

They're kind of steamy and passionate. Every now and then, they're just soft and loving. He kisses you on the lips and neck normally and you love that as well as forehead kisses.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

We all know he's angry towards children or anyone for that matter. But his own brats? Well, his personality does a complete 180. It scares you honestly, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

You both cuddle for a bit when you wake up before actually getting out of bed. It's a slow start to the day for you both that involves lots of love and hugs and kisses to wake up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

This is easy, you do some things that aren't PG and things that are very fluffy and soft. It's not abnormal for a friend or a family member to come over and see you both cuddled up, under a blanket with a movie on the tv.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

A couple of months into the relationship, he starts opening up a lot more to you. It comes in drabbles, but eventually, you get the bigger picture of Bakugou. After a year or so, you have every piece to the puzzle that you need to see the picture it holds.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very easily. He has a short fuse so if you push him too much, he'll snap and yell at you. I promise he doesn't mean it, angers just something he's never been able to completely control.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers a lot actually! He may be shit with remembering people's names, but when it comes to you he finds it hard to forget anything. The little things and the big things, he knows everything you've ever told him.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

I'd say when you went in your first date together. He's never been so happy in his life to be with "his nerd" as he called you. But seriously, he loved it and although he might never say it out loud, he appreciates that you gave him that chance

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I'm just gonna put it out there... he's very protective of you okay? Like, he saw one guy look at you wrong and the next thing you know he's over there telling him to fucking watch what he's doing. He just really loves you and doesn't want to see you hurt ever. Trust me, he goes off on one of you get hurt during training to the point were you have to be completely hidden from him during it.

He doesn't like being protected as much but if you do, he wouldn't really mind it and appreciates that you'd help him in a time when he's in danger or vulnerable.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He plans it really well actually. He takes you to nice places and simple ones just as much as each other, he gets you trinkets that he knows you'll love and big gifts on occasions

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

When he gets really angry, he uses his quirk and destroys something in the house. You're slowly growing used to it but it still annoys you because "OI!! I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT POP ROCKS!!"

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

I'd say he's moderately concerned about how he looks. He gets beauty sleep still and even goes as far as to book spa retreats for you both under the excuse that he wants to see you relax. We all know it's because he likes the facial treatments they use... we all know that Bakugou. There's no hiding it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Omg... this pomeranian right here would be l o s t without you. You finally helped him realise his feelings and understand them and now you're just gone? Hell no. He'd slowly break in confusion but pretend like nothings effecting him

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He's a sucker for playing stupid board games with you. You make it, he'll play it. It doesn't matter what the context of the game is or the rules, he'll play and he'll win.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like it when his s/o talks down on themselves or gives up without a fight. I mean, he's gotten over a lot in life to get to where he is, so he wants someone similar to him in that sense. Sure he understand you'll have that odd day or time period, but if it's all the time it begins to annoy him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He mumbles his well known phrases in his sleep. So you'll be sleeping peacefully and then the quietest "die" you've ever heard will just come from him. It's super cute surprisingly!! Every now and then he'll mumble an "I love you"

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[foryouthegays]

spreading propaganda [Dream SMP] liveblog yall lets go. this is so long i am sorry but the end is an actual summary of what happens asldkfa

sellout timer pog: 00:30:20, 01:00:40, 01:31:35, 02:02:03 (for like a second), 02:03:00, 02:34:35

time spent reading donations: 10 minutes, 20ish seconds. 

fanart credit he puts up (all from twitter i think): snumkt, reinneart, lihnsu, sestqr, jester_u, Brigade_Lost, natonyy

also taggin @antarctic-empire-technoblade​ :) theres an actual summary at the end that isnt just me ramblin so,,,,,,ye. i am so sorry its so long a;dkfja i dont know how to condense things 

00:00:35 “i stole a lot of sand recently,” ah yes, a casual conversation starter, the admission of theft 

00:03:55 hE HAS A VILLAGER TRADING HALL CHAPEL IN THE VILLAGE SIR THAT IS ILLEGAL 

00:04:13 

tubbo: -..--...--- 

ranboo: that means beans right

no, ranboo, not it does not (i put it into a translator and it just. it doesnt mean anything. i didnt see any spaces so im just. what was mr tubbo trying to say

00:04:35: relationship advice with technoblade! [reading donation] “‘techno, my boyfriend said he’ll never sub to you, how do i handle this travesty?’ uh, clearly you need to break up with him, and send me more money, is the most- that’s the most unbiased opinion I can give you, it’s just a good life decision, alright? It’s just a good life decision.”

00:16:00 ranboo hi!!!! him garden :D 

HOUND ARMY HOUND ARMY 00:18:10

00:20:15 ‘i have not made a tier list [for dinosaurs] yet’ Y E T? ? ? ?? ? 

00:20:55

“‘Hey, are you uncomfortable with being part of the SBI family dynamic?’ Uh, I don’t really- it’s not a matter of being uncomfortable, it’s just a matter of people making massive revisions to my character and the lore three months into the story without telling me, and it’s like, ‘no, that doesn’t- the story doesn’t- so many things don’t make sense now! What?? What???’ but if you want to make like, fanart of it, it’s fine”

00:21:25 imagine believing in airplanes, couldnt be me

00:21:35 SKLDJFAK a dono is like, hey can u call my new cousin a nerd, and technos like [claps] yOUVE COME TO THE RIGHT MAN im all about bullying infant children 

lakjshdfl 00:26:15 ‘philza this does not sound lore at all please’ poor techno

00:27:30 HKJSFDL :crab: TUBBO IS GONE :crab: also i cant tell if techno says ‘KILL HIM DEAD’ or ‘KILL HIM, DAD’ 

00:30:20 ‘we should have a grinch episode, where i go around stealing presents from l’manburg’ DO IT

also i was in chat at 00:31:25ish and i said ‘subscribe to technoblade’ and RIGHT AFTER techno said ‘did i hear subscribe to technoblade?’ and i felt so heard 

00:33:25 why is his only response to being seen in enemy lines to just stay realllyyyyy still a;lkdfjasf 

00:39:45 ‘this is crucial information coming to you live from anarchy news’ A;LSDKFJA;LSDF

00:46:25 :CRAB: RANBOO IS GONE :CRAB: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES 

alkdfja; 00:47:55 techno talks (sarcastically) abt how great it is when chat tells him where his stuff is

00:48:50 awww techno showin his not-dad his hound army!!! so cute 

00:55:30 techno specifies that theyre all characters/roleplayin!!!

techno talkin to phil is literally like a kid talkin to his dad after not seein him for a while. like yeah yeah family isnt canon in this but KSJDFLA hes like ‘phillll tommys being annoying also look at this new poster!!!!’ its so cute

01:09:20 A;SDJFADSL THE VILLAGER JUST. FALLS THROUGH THE FLOOR

techno nd phil reference smp earth at 01:19:50!!!!

(ik some people dont like enbyctechno so heres ur warnin, its just for this line tho) techno says ‘no one man should have this power’ but he HAS that power. therefore. mr c!blade is not a guy 01:35:00ish idk im not goin back to check

01:38:35 alright gang lets split up and look for clues 

01:45:20 ‘my chat’s sayin theres a 0% chance this is gonna work,,,,thATS A CHANCE I’M WILLING TO TAKE, CHAT’ skjdflasl;dfjaf (also, bit after, after readin the wiki say its 0% chance: ‘i like those odds’) 

01:48:15 [abt the zombie villager baby] 

Techno: on the bright side, we may have inflicted the optimal amount of trauma onto this child for it to become funny? 

Ranboo: ooooh yeah! it can become a minecraft youtuber!

techno: yeeeeeeah!!

pls get some therapy

a;ldkfassa the mental image of techno ownin an orphanage,,,,paldkfajslfasf 01:51:35

a;ldsifjasdklf ranboo is canonically a villager now, pog 01:56:50

01:57:50 ranboo: ‘they say that im built different, i am built different, in the fact that i have no moral backbone.’

01:58:30 BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD also why is techno so good at the bow like WHAT he looks in third person and turns nd shoots in like a second and hits most of the time its scary literally look at ranboo a;ldsjkfadsf hes like a porcupine 

ASKLJDFASLDF RANBOOS ‘OH NO HE KNOWS HOW TO OPEN DOORS’ AT 02:02:25 JUST HAS SUCH TECHNO SKYBLOCK VID VIBES ADLKJFALSDFJA OH MY GOSH

02:06:35 “i feel there has been an attempt on my life,” "no thats just how we greet each other in our country” nether lore pog?

02:08:45 why does techno casually type at 120 wpm?????  god i hate him so much why is he like thisssss ugh (also it took ~3 seconds to type 7 words (34 characters) which is 140 wpm and 680 cpm if i know how to do math i hate it here) /lh

nd then he types ‘punz we’re all outside your house get over here’ which is 47 characters nd 9 words nd it took him 5 seconds to type which is 564 cpm and 108 wpm so his average (from these two samples which. isnt a lot. should i do a post abt this in the future?) is 124 wpm and 622 cpm. hes so fast. 

SDA;FKJASDF PHIL WHY R U SO VIOLENT 

02:17:00 PUNZ POG ALSO MANIFOLD KILLED IN THE HOLY LAND

technos complainin bout the fights bein boring,,,,,,,fight them all, techno. do it. 1v8. do it, coward. 

02:24:02 ‘maybe the real combat was the friends we made along the way’ 

02:25:16 i love that technos first instinct when someone dies is to check what sword/axe killed them nd what enchants r on it aldskfjads

i love how techno calls the manhunt music ‘dream music’ its so funny to me

right before he ends the stream he says ‘p e r h a p s’ to techno plushies and i just,,,, wa n t 

if ya just want an actual summary and not that MESS:

Technoblade starts the stream in his house. the first thing he does is put another piece of fanart in his house, this one by snumkt on twitter. he goes to l’manburg, where he sneaks around very sneakily (/s) and replaces anti-techno propaganda with pro-techno fanart, stating that “If they take it down, it’s ‘cause they hate fanartists.” (00:09:18). 

While placing posters, Techno checks in on his hound army, and reveals that he thinks someone had been in the area, because a wolf teleported to him while he was home. He thinks someone placed water, the dog stood up, and then teleported. (00:18:25)

After breeding the dogs, Techno reads donations and one of the questions is about the SBI family dynamics. Here’s what he says at 00:20:55 

“‘Hey, are you uncomfortable with being part of the SBI family dynamic?’ Uh, I don’t really- it’s not a matter of being uncomfortable, it’s just a matter of people making massive revisions to my character and the lore three months into the story without telling me, and it’s like, ‘no, that doesn’t- the story doesn’t- so many things don’t make sense now! What?? What???’ but if you want to make like, fanart of it, it’s fine”

He then meets up with Philza, who is being escorted by Tubbo. Techno goes to Philzas house, and hides in his new basement. He joins their VC and finds Phil, Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. talking about birthdays. Tubbo goes to the basement and sees Technos invis particles, hits him, and he is revealed. Techno kills tubbo, and declares it canon as a joke. 

He goes back outside, deafened on Discord, and puts down more propaganda. Philza joins his call, and they meet up to try and find Technos stolen items. They don’t find the barrel, but they do find a hidden room under the podium. Techno puts a piece of propaganda in the room. (00:43:30)

While Phil is killing an enderman, Ranboo finds them, and is killed by Techno. (00:46:25) 

Techno takes Phil to see his Hound Army, but they’re stopped by Tubbo. Techno tries to pretend to be Ranboo, but Ranboo goes up to them, so his cover is blown. Techno’s chased to the portal. Phil and Techno meet again in the Nether, and they go back to the house. 

At the house, Phil and Techno talk about the SBI characters, the sellout timer goes off, and then they go downstairs to cure a zombie villager. While it’s curing, Techno gathers books to make a new bow, with Power V, Punch II, Unbreaking III, Flame, and Mending. 

Philza reveals that Ranboo is coming over to give Phil a present. Techno seems excited at this, mostly at the fact that Ranboo can be his new bows test subject. 

Before Ranboo arrives, the villager is cured, and they find out it is a nitwit, meaning it can’t trade or get a job. Techno and Phil start working on a tunnel to bring the villager to a lava pool, so the other villagers won’t gossip and raise their prices. 

Ranboo joins the call at 01:15:35, right before they’re going to bring the villager to the lava pool. He gifts Techno and Phil four Netherite ingots.

After struggling to get the villager to the right height, Techno forces Ranboo to boat the villager into the lava. Ranboo escapes by throwing a pearl, and the villager dies.

Ranboo, Techno, and Phil talk about duping Netherite, and the current plot, and then Techno finds a zombie baby villager. It’s caught in a boat, and Techno nametags it ‘Orphan.’ They talk about the cobblestone tower, Philzas’ death to a baby zombie, and how if you don’t see a child's parents, you should assume that they are an orphan and attack them. 

Techno talks to Jack Manifold through chat about his axe. Techno, Philza, and Ranboo go around and look for zombie villagers. Techno finds an igloo, with two villagers. Techno was going to try and turn them into zombie villagers, but decides to not when he finds out that theres a 0% chance of that happening on Easy mode. 

They all go back to Orphan, and bully it when they find out it still hasn’t grown up. Techno and Ranboo make a joke about how it’s traumatized, so it’ll be funny and can be come a minecraft youtuber. please get some help. (01:48:15)

After Orphan grows up, Techno trades and gets the Bottle of Enchanting trade for one emerald. They all joke about Techno owning an orphanage at 01:51:35.

Phil, Techno, and Ranboo decide go to the Hound Army, but Techno remembers that Ranboo is part of L’manburg, and tries to kill him (with his new bow) when they enter the nether. He doesn’t succeed, and he continues fighting until he drinks and invis pot on the Prime Path. Techno and Phil meet up in the Bee Dome, where Ranboo finds them. Techno tries to kill him, but runs out of arrows. 

After reading donations, Techno, Ranboo, and Phil are back together at the Bee Dome, and they decide to team up in case someone finds them. They go outside of the Dome, and chase Jack Manifold out of his own country.

Manifold joins the VC, and they try to blame Punz on his attempted murder. After Manifold says “i feel there has been an attempt on my life,” Techno says that that’s how he greets people in his country.

Manifold asks if they want to help him get revenge on Punz, and Techno agrees. They gather more people, and by the time they get to Punz’s tower, their party is Manifold, Techno, Phil, Ranboo, Fundy, and Antfrost. Punz is in the Nether, so they wait until he gets back. 

Ranboo and Techno have a whisper conversation:

Ranboo: are you just going to jump fundy

Techno: no im gonna make jack 1v1 LMAO

Ranboo: good plan

While Fundy is taking a screenshot of Techno for his thumbnail, Philza attacks Fundy with a crossbow and his sword. He claims it was because he was getting bored. 

In the same spirit, Techno asks if they could kill Manifold to pass the time. The mob, which now includes Fundy, chases Manifold. He runs to the Holy Land, and the mob boos him.  Techno tells Antfrost to kill Manifold, and that the mob won’t tell that he was killed in the Holy Land. Manifold hands Antfrost his sword. 

While Antfrost debates killing Manifold or not, the mob chants ‘peer pressure!’ at him. Techno quickly realizes that Antfrost isn’t in the VC, and is extremely confused. The sword gets handed to Fundy, who gets into a battle with Manifold. Philza tells Fundy that he’s forgiven, if he can kill Manifold. The battle calms, and neither of the contestants die.

Techno convinces the mob to go to the pit trap, and tries to lure someone onto the trapped blocks using rotten flesh. Fundy takes the bait, but moves out of the way before the button is pressed. Antfrost sneaks up behind him and punches him into the pit. Fundy survives the fall, but is shot by Manifold to death. 

During the commotion, Punz makes his way back to his house, and the mob moves towards him to end his life. Manifold says that he’s going to kill Punz, and Techno says that the mob’ll have his back. He tells the mob to not have Manifold’s back. 

at 02:17:00, Punz joins the call, and is confused as to why Manifold wants to kill him. Manifold explains that Punz tried to kill him, siting his source as Technoblade. 

also, 2:17:15 technoswear!

Techno encourages Punz, saying “Punz, he actually dropped his sword by accident and now I have it, so it’d be really easy to beat him up,” and “he also just killed in the holy land, so you have a sort of...religious motivation to take him out.”

Punz tries to fight Manifold without armor (Manifold is wearing a full enchanted set of armor, with a Netherite chestplate and everything else Diamond), which fails miserably, and Manifold is killed. 

Techno decides to fight Manifold with his goons (the mob) for the audience retention, and Manifold’s quickly killed. The final hit was from CaptainPuffy. Ponk rushes in and grabs some of Manifold’s items. Puffy takes the rest.

Manifold complains about getting bullied, so Techno gives him his sword back and tells him to avenge himself. While looking for Ponk (or Punz? this is kinda unclear), Punz swoops in and kills Manifold in two hits. 

Manifold finds Ponk and chases after him, trying to kill him. The mob follows, and Ranboo kills Ponk with thorns. Manifold takes Ponks stuff. 

Right after respawning, Ponk was blown up by a creeper, and Techno claimed both as canon. 

The mini fights continue, and Manifold is killed by Punz. 

Ranboo changes the ‘Days since last war crime’ sign to 0.

Phil tells Techno that he’s going back to the base, and the L’manburgians question him as to what base he’s talking about. Phil tells Fundy that he ripped off his ankle shackles and left. While they talk, Techno starts running back to the base, and Ranboo whispers “lets run back” to him. Ranboo follows Techno, but quickly looses him.

Phil and Techno join a separate VC together and they go back to the base. 

At 02:29:15, Phil says “I trust you” to Techno and I am going to cry. 

Right before getting to the base, Phil drinks some honey, and Techno says “that’s the only thing we have honey for, now that we’ve uh...uh I guess you don’t know about that.” He’s referring to the Vault, I think, because the redstone required honey to work properly. 

Philza responds, “the honey- wait, what did you use the honey for?” 

“uhhh....food.” Techno, for some reason, doesn’t want to show Phil the vault. 

Ranboo whispers to Techno: “My alliance isnt with lmanburg, its with the people who help me. phil helped me.”

out loud, Techno laughs about it with phil, saying, “well, I’ve stabbed him like twelve times this week, so, I [laughs] I don’t know if that entirely qualifies here.”

Techno messages Ranboo back with “new phone who this” 

Ranboo replies, “no one,” and then, “:)”

Going back to the honey talk, Philza asked if Techno had been hiding anything diabolical from him, and Techno asks if he would do such a thing. Philza guesses several things he could use honey for, such as a flying machine, TNT dupers, and a door.

Techno takes him to the vault. 02:32:00. i LOVE peoples reactions to the vault, it’s always so good. Philza responds with a surprised ‘HOLY SHIT’ and some laughing. Techno also confirms my math of 55 withers. 

02:34:10 “i’ve seen this government, on the server, and everything to do with government is just bad. I’ve watched it completely destroy and tear down people’s wills and change people, I’ve seen it change the nicest people into complete and utter tyrants, so...I think it’s about time--”

“We need revenge. [sellout timer goes off] and more importantly, we neED SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE DOT COM” phil joinin anarchy pog? 

anyway that was it ;alskdfjas;f

[dukeofonions]

hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do. 

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone. 

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing... 

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more. 

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this. 

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon! 

[happikattwuzheere]

was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 

SO. 

there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 

her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 

a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 

b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon

c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”

but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 

speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 

anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 

like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.

so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY

adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.

anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 

also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 

this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox 

[atlafan]

Hii ok u dont have to write this if it doesnt inspire u but I’ve been watching Selling Sunset on Netflix & I’ve been waiting impatiently for the 3rd season cuz it’s just so good lol but i was wondering if u could write something about rich real estate agent H? Maybe helping the MC buy her first home and they hit it off? Ur the only 1 who writes these diverse Harry’s & I can’t stop thinking about real estate H showing her expensive houses & like doing NaughtyStuff with her in an empty 1 lol xx HC

a/n: this has been in my inbox for a while and I’ve been wanting to get to it, so here it is! there is smut, but it’s more tame than you requested. Hope you still like it! 

Sold

You weren’t sure how you were able to do it, but you finally had enough money for a down payment on a home. You scrimped and saved for years as best you could, you paid off the majority of your student loans, you built up your credit, and now you felt ready for this very adult step. 

Your parents weren’t sure why you weren’t content with just renting. “What if you meet someone?” They’d ask you. “Then they could just move in with me, or we’d find another place. It’s an investment!” You’d reply. They had this vision in their head that you’re supposed to buy a home with a partner. It was the twenty-first century, you didn’t need anyone to help you...or so you thought. 

The pre-approval process at the bank was lengthy, but thorough. They’d need to see your W2′s from two years prior, they needed to know how long you’ve been at your current job, and basically just how much money you had altogether. The mortgage specialist at the bank was very kind. 

“So, you’re doing this all on your own?” 

“I am.” You smile.

“Have you got real estate agent yet?”

“No.” You shrug. “You don’t really need when you’re the one buying do you? I can just call whoever’s showing the house and work with them.”

“Maybe in small towns, but in larger areas like this you’ll want a realtor, trust me. It doesn’t cost you anything either way. They can top shop, help you negotiate, all those kinds of things.”

“They also like to show you houses out of your price range.” You scoff. 

“Not the honest ones. I get it, at the end of the day, they’re out there to make a quick buck, and the more the house is, the larger the cut they get. But I know a guy, he actually helped my son buy his first home. He was absolutely wonderful, and he’s a shark.” She goes through the many business cards on her desk. “Ah! Here it is, Harry Styles, he works for Greenfield Real Estate.” 

You take the card from her and scan it over.

“Don’t they sell, like, really nice homes? They work with people looking for mansions.” 

“Just give him a call, and tell him I sent you. You won’t regret it, trust me. Your pre-approval is only good for ninety days, so you’ll want to contact him soon.” 

//

Your head was swimming, but you knew she had a point. Half the houses you favorited on realtor.com or zillow were sold already. It was a seller’s market for sure. Maybe you would need someone to help you negotiate...but did it have to be a man? Couldn’t you find a female realtor? You spent years becoming the strong, independent woman you came to be, and now it felt like you’d be surrendering to some stereotype. 

However, after perusing on the Greenfield website, you see a picture of Harry. You bite your bottom lip, swallow some pride, and dial his number. 

“Greenfield Real Estate, this is Harry.” You weren’t expecting the British accent, or the deep voice and drawl that came with it. “Hello?”

“Um, hi! Yeah, Doris at Hills Bank gave me your card...I’m a first time home buyer.” You want to smack yourself for how stupid you sound. 

“Oh, I love Doris! I’ve worked with her a bunch. I actually helped her son buy his first home last year.”

“That’s what she told me.” 

“Right, so, picking a realtor is sort of like dating, you wanna make sure you pick the right one. Why don’t we meet up for coffee somewhere locally so we can get to know each other a bit.” 

Pushy, he was already wanting to meet you. Probably to have you sign your life away to be his client. 

“Sure, we could do that.”

“Are you local? There’s a place on Bleaker Street that has great coffee.” 

“Is it Monte Alto?”

“Yeah! That’s the one. When are you free?”

“I could meet you Friday during lunch my break.”

“Sounds great, I’m assuming noon?”

“Correct.” 

“By the way, you didn’t tell me your name.”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Alright, Y/N, I’ll see you Friday at noon at Monte Alto.” 

You take a huge breath after you hang up. 

//

Friday rolled around, and you weren’t able to step out of the office until nearly 11:50. It would take a little more than ten minutes to get there, and you hated being late. You were happy you had at least looked up what Harry looked like so you’d be able to spot him once you were there. 

Once you’re there, you see a man sitting on one of the cushioned chairs, looking out the window. It had to be him. 

“Harry?” 

He looks over at you and smiles. He stands up to shake your hand.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, hi, sorry I’m late, I’ve had meeting after meeting this morning. Fridays aren’t usually this busy.”

“No worries at all. Tell me, what’s your order?” 

“Oh, I can get it myself. I’m gonna grab a bagel too.”

“Good idea, I’ll do the same. Now, what’ll you have?” 

“Really...I can-”

“I know you can, but I invited you here, it would be rude to have you pay. Do this with all my perspective clients.” 

“Well, don’t I feel special.” You say sarcastically. He chuckles softly as you both get in line. 

You both order your drinks and food, and wait awkwardly for your names to be called, then you sit back down. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re more than welcome. So, tell me, what’s your dream home?”

“Oh god, um, nice big kitchen, I love to cook when I actually have time. A room for entertaining. I’m usually the one to host friends. Two stories, a garage, three bedrooms would be ideal, but I’ll settle for two-”

“No settling.” He smirks. “Go on.” 

“Um...well, so, three bedrooms, ideally I’d like a master with an en suite, but who doesn’t?” You watch as he makes notes on a little pad of paper. “I’d like a yard, but it doesn’t need to be huge. Bonus points if there’s a deck or patio, maybe even a pool, but I can live without those things.”

“And you’re buying this just for yourself, correct? No husbands or boyfriends I need to know about?” 

“You know, I could have a girlfriend.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry you’re right, um-”

“Relax, I’m teasing.” You chuckle. “But to answer your question, I am doing this alone. I feel like I’m ready for a house, so I want one.” 

“Thought I put my foot in my mouth for a second there. I need to learn to just say partner.” He picks up his drink to take a sip, and that’s when you notice he has perfectly manicured nails. Interesting. “So it seems like you know how to be realistic about what you want, and you also have a dream list. What about projects, do they scare you?”

“I’m good with painting or even having to put new flooring in, but I’d like to stay away from any major reno.” 

“Gotcha.” He makes another note. “And what price range are we working with here?” 

“Let me just make a note on my phone, I’d rather not say out loud in case someone tries to rob me.” 

He smiles and nods. He squints at your screen and makes a note. 

“Great, good for you. What do you do for work?” 

“I’m a physician, I work at a doctor’s office not too far from here. I’ve been there for two years, and I love what I do.”

“That’s great. So, Doris talked with you about balancing a mortgage and paying down your student loans?”

“They’re mostly paid for, actually. I got a lot of scholarships for my undergrad, and during med school I was awarded a pretty decent grant.” 

“Perfect.” He scribbles some more notes and then puts his pad and pen down. “What do you want to know about me?” 

“How long have you been a realtor for?” 

“Six years, been with Greenfield since I started.”

“What made you get into it?”

“Love seeing people happy.” 

“What about when someone buys below the asking price?”

“Doesn’t happen with me, not when I’m selling anyways. However, when I’m helping someone buy a home, well, let’s just say I’m pretty good at negotiating.” He smirks. “You’d be in good hands with me, but if you wanna shop around some more I’ll understand.” 

“Do you work with first time buyers a lot?”

“Sometimes, it depends. I know a lot of them like to work with me. They’re usually young, I’m young. Makes for a more relatable experience.”

“Okay.” You look outside and think for a moment. “I think I’d like to work with you.”

He smiles big at you.

“Are there any homes you’ve had in mind that you’d like to start looking at? I can definitely see what open houses are out there too. People tend to make offers fast, but don’t let that scare you. The home has to feel right, if you want it, I’ll make sure you get it.” 

“There were a few I’ve seen on realtor...” You take your phone out to show him. “I’d like to not have a super long commute either if I can help it.” 

“Are you looking to grow into this home or is it more of a starter space for you?” You give him a funny look. “I just mean, like, would you be open to a condo or something like that.”

“Only if it was detached and didn’t have a high HOA.” 

He nods and looks at some of the other homes you had favorited.

“So what I’m gonna do is go back to my office and run a few searched. Then I’ll text you a link to the home I find, and you can tell me which ones you like. Don’t be afraid to tell me you hate them either. Then if there’s a couple you wanna see, we’ll set up a time that works for you, and then I’ll contact the other realtor, sound good?”

“Sounds great.” 

You shake hands again before leaving. As you make your way back to the office, you feel relieved. You had someone you could ask questions to, and someone basically on your side. Harry was nice, a salesman at heart, but nice.

//

Saturday morning you get a text from Harry.

Harry Styles - Hi Y/N, it was great meeting you yesterday. Here are some places I think you might like. Let me know what you think! 

You liked how formal he was. You tap the link he sent you. The first couple were duds, but there were a few on here that actually peaked your interest. 

You - Could we three of the home? The bottom three on the list. 

Harry Styles - Sure! When would work for you? 

You - I don’t work on Mondays, so that would be easiest. Timing doesn’t matter. 

Harry Styles - I’ll contact the realtors and see what we can put together. 

You - Thanks so much!

You felt really excited. You wondered if maybe you should invite your parents to come look at the houses with you, but maybe you would save that for a second look through once you actually find something. A house can look much different in pictures than it does in person. 

//

Monday morning, around 9:30, you meet Harry at the first location. His car was parked in the driveway. He gets out when he sees you pull in. He had two coffees in hand. 

“Morning.” He says to you. “Got you a coffee, I remembered your order.” 

“Oh! Um, thanks.” You take it from him. 

“I’ve already gone in and unlocked the doors and turned the lights on. The other realtor isn’t here, which is perfectly fine. Take your time, feel free to walk around outside before heading in too.” 

You smile and nod. The front was beautifully landscaped, and there was a gate leading to the backyard. He follows you out that way. You listen as he explains when the home was built and why the people were selling it. There a nice deck that had been recently put on, no pool though, but there was room for one. You go up the stairs of the deck and go in through the sliding glass door. 

“Kitchen was recently renovated within the last five years. All appliances come with the place.” 

“It’s beautiful.” You run your fingers over the nice granite counter tops. 

As you scope out the rest of the house, you’re not as impressed as you were with it when you first walked in. The bedrooms were small, and barely had any storage. The basement wasn’t in the best condition either. 

“Definitely a no, but a good first experience nonetheless.” 

Harry looks down at his watch as he nods. 

“Wanna follow me to the next place then?”

“Sure.” 

Same thing happened at house number two and three. You just weren’t wowed. You sigh heavily as you lean against your car. 

“Don’t get discouraged, Y/N. It’s better to know what you don’t like. We can keep looking. When I go into the office tomorrow I can run another search. Maybe we can look at some condos.” 

“That might be good. Maybe somewhere with people my age? It would be cool to be in a little community.”

“Definitely.” 

“Thanks...I hope I haven’t been a pain with the things I don’t like.”

“Not at all. This is a really big purchase, you should get what you want.” 

//

It took three more weeks of meeting up with Harry on various days to find a place you liked. On a Saturday evening, he brought you over to a condo that was detached, had a garage, a community gym and pool. It had three bedrooms, and two and a half baths. One being an en suite for the master bedroom.The kitchen was gorgeous and flowed into a dining/living area. You were thrilled. 

“Harry...” You look at him. “It’s perfect.” 

“Really, you like it?”

“I love it!” You squeal and hug him without thinking. “Sorry.” You blush.

“It’s fine, it’s exciting.” 

“I’d like to put an offer in. The price is rate and the HOA is reasonable. It’s not too far from work. I’d be able to entertain, the backyard is fenced in. There was even security at the gate! This is my home, I can feel it.” 

“Fantastic. The paperwork can take some time. Would you wanna fill everything out over dinner?” 

“Um...sure...” 

“Plus, it gives you a chance to see what places nearby are like. We passed some nice restaurants on the way here.” 

You follow him to a nice pizza place a couple of miles away. He bring a large packet of paper and a couple of pens in with him.

“On the way here I called the other realtor to let him know an offer was coming their way.”

“Thanks.”

You both get seated and are given some water. He takes the papers out and explains what you would need to sign, and what your offer would mean. Harry said you could definitely low ball the sellers, so you asked for about $15K less than the asking price. 

“They probably won’t accept, but most people don’t on the first offer. This just gives us a good starting point.”

“And you think the six grand in closing costs is good?”

“Yeah, totally reasonable. That’ll be about half of it. Sometimes, you can get more money off after the home inspection. Once a price is settled, you’ll want to schedule that right away. I have some names of some great home inspectors.”

“Would you be there for that?”

“I would. I’m there for all of it. The other realtor will be there too.” 

“Okay good. I’d feel better with you there.” 

As you begin to sign the documents, a waiter comes over. 

“Good evening folks, can I start you off with anything to drink?”

“I’d love a glass of rose please.” You say. 

“Just a Corona for me, thanks.” 

The waiter nods and leaves you be. 

“Did you want to just split a pizza?” Harry asks looking down at the menu. 

“Sure, what do you like? I usually just get green peppers and mushrooms.”

“Works for me. Would you mind this cauliflower crust?”

“Not at all! I prefer that, actually.” 

‘Perfect.” He smiles. 

When the waiter comes back, Harry orders your pizza. He watches as you finish up all the paperwork. He checks over everything to make sure you signed everything. 

“I’ll get this all scanned and sent over tomorrow.”

“Do you ever take a day off?”

“Yes and no. The realtor world is funny. Sometimes I’m in the office all day and then I wont hear from a client until 8PM. I’m not helping someone buy, I’m helping someone sell. I’m always busy.”

“Sorry to take up your Saturday night...”

“No, don’t be. I’d just be home working.” He shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. “It’s your Saturday night I’m more worried about.” 

“Oh please.” You laugh. “My friends know I’ve been busy with this, they understand. Besides when I showed them who you were...” You stop yourself from finishing the sentence. 

“No, please, go on.” He smirks.

“They just, they saw your picture on the Greenfield website, that’s all.” You blush. 

The waiter comes over with the pizza, and thankfully it breaks a bit of the tension. You each take a slice and dig in. 

“This is delicious.” You say. 

“Yeah, never been here before, I’ll definitely have to come back.” He takes another sip of his beer. “Once that condo is yours, I fully expect an invite to your house warming, by the way. I like to know my clients are good to go.”

“I definitely won’t be a stranger.” 

When you and Harry are done, he walks you out to your car. He gives you a small hug goodbye as well. You felt like you just had a date, but there was no way you did. 

//

After going back and forth twice, your offer was accepted. You set up a home inspection with one of the names Harry had given you. He meets you at the house when it’s time, and you’re able to meet the other realtor. A woman, who was a little too delighted to see Harry. You felt jealous when they hugged. However, he stayed close to you and took notes while the inspector was talking. 

You made sure to ask a lot of questions. There were no major things that alarmed you. All of the information was just a lot to take in, and you were feeling slightly overwhelmed. You should have brought your parents, or another friend. Was Harry a friend at this point? As the inspector was putting together a full report for you, and getting your email, the other realtor was talking to Harry.

“So, I thought you were only in the selling game right now.” She smirks at him.

“Once in a while I take on a buyer.” He shrugs. “It’s good commission.”

“Yeah, thanks, can’t wait to split it with you.” She rolls her eyes. “But I do love when our paths cross.”

“Mhm.” He looks over at you and then back to the realtor. “The previous owners took great care of this place.”

“Yeah, they did. The only reason they moved is because they’re daughter had a baby and they wanted to be closer to her.”

“Ah, classic.”

“Are you doing anything later?”

“Um…well…Y/N is probably going to have questions and stuff, so I’ll probably be busy with her for a bit.”

“Okay, but, like, tonight, are you free? We could grab a drink.”

“I…”

“Harry?” You say, walking over to them. “Everything’s all set. He said I should have the radon and water tests by next week.”

“Perfect. You’ll be able to make a final decision and add anything to an addendum then.”

“It was nice to meet you.” You shake the woman’s hand.

“Same to you. Look forward to hearing from you soon.”

“Y/N, I took a lot of notes, is there anything you want to go over?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“See ya Margaret, we’ll be in touch.” He shakes her hand and leaves her standing there, shocked.

Harry walks with you outside, and you agree on a bar to meet up at. You both grab drinks and Harry goes over his notes with you. He gives you the name of a good plumber since you mentioned you’d want to update a few fixtures.

“What about a painter? Know of anyone that can help with that?”

“You don’t need to waste your money on a professional. Painting’s not that hard.” He chuckles.

“Well, I am not very skilled when it comes to that kind of stuff. Plus, I won’t really have the time to do it myself, and I’d wanna get it done before I move.”

“You could get all done in a couple of weekends no problem, you just need some friends that know how to paint.” He puts a toothpick in his mouth and fiddles with it. “I know how to paint.”

“You do?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Sometimes sellers need to fix up their houses quickly. I’ve come to the rescue on more than one occasion.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“I don’t make any money if I don’t. No one wants to be an ugly house.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I guess what I’m saying is, I could help you paint. You’re about to have a mortgage payment on your hands.”

“Pending the inspection report.” You smirk.

“Right.” He smiles.

“Did you offer up the same service for Doris’ son?”

“No.” He says smugly. “He already knew how to paint.”

“That other woman before, what was her name? Margaret?”

“Yeah, what about her?”

“I heard her ask you out…”

“She didn’t, she wasn’t…uh…” He scratches the back of his neck. “Sometimes we go for drinks if we end of working on the same house. Nothing more than that really.”

“So, you’re not, like, seeing her.”

“God, no. That would be a major conflict of interest.”

“Do you always go out for drinks with your clients?”

“Sometimes…I know some people have clients over to their home to do paperwork, but I didn’t think you’d feel super comfortable coming over to some guy’s house you barely know.”

“How considerate of you.” You giggle.

“Did it bother you that she asked me out tonight?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? No, why, uh, why would it have bothered me?”

“Because…if someone had done the same to you in front of me I would have been bothered, but to be fair, I’m a pretty jealous guy.” He finishes his drink and orders another one.

“How many times does this happen?”

“What?”

“You hitting on your clients.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” He fake gasps. “And no, I don’t usually do this. I’m a little embarrassed, actually. Not very professional of me to have a crush on your client.” Your eyes widen and your jaw drops slightly. “Sorry, I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable.”

“No! I…I’m just a little surprised that you’re into me, is all.”

“Why? You’ve got a great career, you’re super independent, and you’re really funny.”

“How do you not already have a girlfriend?”

“I’m really busy, like, all the time. I’m able to take vacations here and there, but you see how much I work. Any time I date it doesn’t last because people don’t understand the job. You’re a doctor, you get it. You must be busy going to classes trying to stay up to date on everything.”

“I am, I’m definitely busy a lot…but I make time for friends.”

“So do I. My friends don’t get offended if I have to cancel or reschedule, or they at least don’t take it personally.”

“I get what you’re saying…dating is hard when you have a demanding job.”

“Exactly.”

“So…are you going to ask me out?”

“Can’t, not until this is all done at least. Conflict of interest.”

“Oh.”

“But when I do, are you saying you’ll say yes?”

“I guess we’ll find out when you ask, won’t we?”

//

Harry helped you go over the inspection report once you got it. You asked for some money towards getting the furnace serviced, and the previous owners thought it was a reasonable request. You were able to close a couple of weeks later. Typically the realtor comes to the bank with the buyer on the big day.

“Harry!” Doris squeals as she hugs him. “Great to see you.”

“Same to you.”

“Love when we get to see each other like this.”

“Same here, how’s your son?”

“Oh, he’s great. Y/N, have a seat. We have lots of things to sign.”

You sign what you need to. Doris gives you a gift bag with some wine glasses. Harry hands over a bottle of champagne to you as well. It was very exciting. You were officially a home owner.

“Thank you so much.” You shake Doris’ hand before leaving the bank.

Harry grabs your wrist once you’re both outside.

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks, I literally couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a quick hug. “My parents are gonna meet me there soon so they can check it out. I think they wanna take me out to eat to celebrate.”

“That’s great.” He clears his throat. “What, uh, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Continuing to pack.” You laugh. “But, um, I could make myself available in the evening.” You smile.

“I’m having a little pool party tomorrow. Bunch of my friends are coming over, I’d love to have you over too, if you felt comfortable.”

“That sounds amazing! Can I bring anything?”

“Just your beautiful self.”

//

Your parents were very impressed with your new purchase. You did well. Saturday morning you continued your packing adventure, trying to make sure you properly labeled your boxes. You needed to make sure none of your medical journals got lost.

Even though Harry had offered over and over to teach you how to paint, your parents offered to pay for a painting crew for you, just to make things go faster. Once that was done you’d be able to move. You search your dresser for a suitable bathing suit. You weren’t sure how much skin to actually show.

“Ah ha!” You find your green, strapless one-piece that had a cute cut out in the upper part of the stomach. You’re also able to find a cute cover up dress to throw on over it.

In the latter part of the afternoon, you drive over to Harry’s. You were impressed by the neighborhood he was able to live in. All of the houses were huge. When you pull up to his house you wonder what he needed such a big house for. Maybe he entertained a lot too, just like you did.

You – just pulled up!

Harry Styles - come right around back!

You walk around to where you can hear music playing and people laughing. There were plenty of people already in Harry’s large in-ground pool.

“Y/N!” Harry waves over to you.

Damn, he has a lot of tattoos. You think to yourself.

“Hi, Harry!”

He comes over to you and kisses you on the cheek without really thinking.

“Glad you could make it. Make yourself comfortable. Plenty of food, plenty of pool.” He chuckles.

Harry’s friends were really nice and welcoming, you didn’t feel too out of place. His eyes couldn’t help but scan over your body the second you took your coverup off. Turns out Harry was a master on the grill. He made sure to pay attention to while still being a good host to his friends. It was a fun party. As the night dwindled you wanted to make some sort of move.

“You know, I’ve seen your entire backyard, but I’ve yet to be given a your of your home.”

“You’d like that?”

“It’s only fair, you’ve seen mine.” You wink at him.

He leads you inside.

“Well, you’ve seen the kitchen, obviously.”

He takes you through the first floor and then leads you upstairs. He explains that he has all the extra rooms so his family has their own space for when they come to visit.

“And this is my room, but you don’t have to-“

“No, let’s see it.” You smile.

He smiles back and opens the door. Your jaw drops when you see how much space there is. There were two closets, both filled with nice clothes.

“Come check out the bathroom. I had some work done to it last year.”

“Why do you have a double vanity?”

“For guests.” He blushes. “My last girlfriend actually, she liked having her own sink. Apparently I have too many products and they can get in the way.” He clears his throat. “Anyways, I had everything redone last year. I know a great bathroom guy if you ever wanna update anything.”

“You have a guy for everything.” You giggle. “And you do have a lot of products, two sinks makes sense.” You walk out and back into the bedroom. “So…”

“So…”

“What date number would you consider this to be?”

“Legally, the first…not legally…” He grins. “Think I’ve lost track.” He steps closer to you. “My friends liked you.”

“I liked them.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “And I like you.”

“I like you too.” His hands move to your hips. “And I really like this bathing suit. Haven’t been able to take my eyes off you all day.”

You both smile and continue to make eye contact. Harry looks down at your lips and leans in. He presses his lips to yours, and you find yourself grasping at him to pull him closer. You couldn’t remember the last time you were intimate with someone, but it had definitely been too long. You were ravenous. You open your mouth him and he groans into you. You both shuffle back to the bed and fall on top of it.

“If this feels too fast, just let me know.” He breathes as you move to straddle him.

“Harry, I want you.” You cup his cheek and he moves to kiss your palm. “But, if it feels too fast for you, we can cool it.”  

“I want you too, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel pressured or anything.”

“I don’t, but thank you.”

You lean down to kiss him again. His hands move to the back of your bathing suit.

“Gotta get this off you.” He grunts.

You get off him to stand up.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Seems to be our little theme.” He smirks.

Harry stands up and takes his trunks off. Your eyes grow wide when you look down at his hard cock. He steps towards you and helps you out of your swim suit.

“I have a fun idea.” He says as he kisses down your neck. “We’ve been in the sun all day, let’s go hop in the shower.”

You smile at him and nod. He leads you into the bathroom and gets the water in the shower going. He yanks you inside and gets you under the warm water. He backs you up to the wall and press you against it. His hands roam your body as his lips find yours again.

“I’ve thought about this so many times.” He says.

“You have?”

“Mhm, there were so many times in the houses I showed you that I just wanted to take you right then and there.”

He nips at your jaw as his hands knead your breasts. You wrap your arms back around his neck. You feel his hard cock press against your hip and it makes you whimper. One of his hands slides down your stomach. He looks at you to make sure it’s alright and you nod yes.

Your head rolls back against the tile as his fingers slips between your legs. His thumb works your clit while he works two of his fingers inside you.

“Oh my god.” You gasp and grind your hips toward his hand. You reach for his length and start to pump him.

You both were panting. You have to let go of him to clutch onto his shoulders as you release around his fingers.

“Please.” You moan. “Fuck me. I have an IUD.”

Harry kisses you and hooks one of his arms under one of your legs so he can push in at a better angle. You bite down on his bottom lip, causing him to groan loudly.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He says into your ear as he thrusts in and out of you.

“You feel so good, Harry, fuck.”

He pulls out of you, turns you around, and presses back inside. His chest was flush with your back. You claw at the tile as he rocks in and out of you. One of his hands snakes around to rub your clit and the other works one of your breasts.

You feel a flood of things wash over you, but mostly it was another incredible orgasm. You could get used to this.

“Shit, I’m gonna come. Where do you want it?” He grunts.

“Inside me.”

“Jesus.” He groans and releases inside you. You moan out at the warm feeling.

//

“This is the softest robe in the world.”

“Glad you like it. You can wear it anytime.”

You both were cuddled up in his bed, munching on some fruit while watching TV.

“Do you have parties like this often?”

“Only when I’ve finally told a tougher home.”

“You were working with someone while working with me? How did you find the time?”

“Babe, I was working with like six other people.” He smirks.

“Doris was right, you are a shark.” You laugh.

“Gotta be able to afford this place, right?” He tucks some hair behind your ear. “You’ll stay tonight? I’m a cuddler.”

“Of course.” You giggle. “I’ll have to have you over for my next game night, you can meet all of my friends.”

“Like I said, I fully expect to be invited to your house warming.”

“That too.”

“But I’d be happy to meet your friends. Are they doctors too?”

“A couple of them are, yeah. We met in med school. Wouldn’t have made it through without them.”

You two stay up for hours, legs tangled in each other, telling each lots of things about one another. It was easy to talk to Harry, it had been since you met. He felt the same about you too. You both knew it wouldn’t be so easy to just get together. Harry’s schedule was unpredictable, and your days were long and tiring. But, neither of you really cared because you both felt like you found your person.

Harry loved game nights with your friends. He was a tad competitive, but it just made for more laughs. You both liked having your separate spaces, but you enjoyed when he could actually spend the night, or when you could spend the night at his place. Neither of you took it personally when the other was too busy or too tired either. Once you felt truly settled, you wrote Doris a thank you note for setting you up with the best realtor and the love of your life.

[milky-mochi]

late night texts | csb

genre: fluff, crush! soobin, close friend! soobin, friends to lovers, soobin is a fluffy baby okay he’s a cute blundering mess

pairing: choi soobin x reader

word count: 1.7k

summary: soobin is helplessly head over heels for the girl he cares so much for, but he keeps his feelings to himself, until things suddenly change for the better, over late night texts and blooming roses.

song: 🎶 blueming by iu 🎶

soobin's fingers hung over his messenger app in anticipation.

It was half past ten, and yet his phone delivered him no message from you. you had promised him that you would text him at quarter past, after your shift at your internship had ended, but fifteen minutes had passed and there was still no green dot beside your icon.

soobin just assumed you had fallen asleep after a tiring day, which he totally understood. he didn't blame you one bit, knowing how tired you must have been after non-stop activities for twenty hours. sighing in defeat, he placed his phone face down and cracked his knuckles.

he missed you so much his heart ached, but he could never text you first. he didn't know if he meant enough to you for it to not be annoying, and soobin was a big coward.

just as he got up to get a drink as a distraction, his phone chimed. soobin nosedived into his table so hard to grab his phone that he probably could've broken it.

at the top of his notifications, a light blue notification from you awaited him, labelled clearly with your contact name. soobin had been too afraid to put a heart beside your name (for fear of the boys finding out, or even worse, you). but you were too special to him for it to just be your name. so he copied a cute little flower emoticon from this layout site and placed it lovingly beside your first name, even though he knew that his contact in your phone was probably saved as every one else was.

clicking on the notification, soobin's furrowed eyebrows smoothened and his bunny smile revealed itself. the thought of you never failed to make his day a whole lot better.

y/n ❁: hey soobin! :D

y/n ❁: sorry im so late :(( i missed the bus and didn't get home until like 2 minutes ago

soobin sighed as he let out a knowing smile. you had busted your data watching videos of your favourite drama a week ago, so you couldn't text him on the bus.

binbread: omg it's okay y/n

binbread: don't you wanna take a shower first? i can wait!

y/n ❁: i'm alright, soobin. thank you tho 🥺

y/n ❁: and besides,

y/n ❁ is typing…

y/n ❁: i'd much rather talk to you

soobin felt his heart pounding in his chest, felt the blood circulating through his fingertips, his face, his entire body. he was flushed red and felt warmth consume him, leaving him with the jittery, skittery feeling that your sweet words always bestow him with.

binbread: y/n omg aaaaaaaa

binbread: 🥺🥺🥺

binbread: i love talking to you too

binbread: how was your day?

whenever soobin asked you this at the end of every day, it was never just a conversation starter, let alone a formality. he genuinely always wanted to know how your day went, worried at how much you exerted yourself to serve others. soobin knew how reckless you were when it came to your own needs, and he sealed a secret promise to always look after you, especially when you didn’t look after yourself.

y/n ❁: omg it was amazing

y/n ❁: there’s this guy named hangyul who just started interning with me

y/n ❁: he’s so funny omg i actually had to tell him to shut up so i could get work done

guiltily, soobin felt his heart drop. of course there was another guy, someone much better, someone of the quality you deserved-

y/n ❁: ok lowkey

y/n ❁: think im gonna set him up with seungyoun

binbread: seungyoun? the guy from your dance studio?

y/n ❁: yeah!!! they’d go so well together

y/n ❁: oh yeah

y/n ❁: hangyul is gay

y/n ❁: lmao

soobin felt embarrassed at how relieved he was. soobin was definitely the jealous type, and he hated it. he hated the way his mind would jump to conclusions, hated the way he always felt on the verge of being replaced, and he really hated the way his jealousy was always amplified when it came to you.

you didn’t have any mutual friends, so he’d rarely ever have to see you interact with any other guy. he was so grateful for that. who knows what his jealous heart would do if he saw you with someone else. at least, with this, he had that false sense of security that maybe, maybe, your feelings echoed his own.

binbread: omg do it y/n

binbread: don’t you need to sleep though

binbread: as much as i love talking to you

binbread: you literally pulled like 8 all nighters in a row

y/n ❁: it was only 3 :(

y/n ❁: and i missed you :(

y/n ❁: stay soobin :(

y/n ❁: soobinnie :(

you frowned at soobin’s inactivity. little did you know, soobin’s neighbour had knocked on his door, asking if he could borrow scissors because his kid needed it for a project and he couldn’t find a pair in his home. you could have waited, but you had missed him the entire day. and you were feeling really, really, annoying.

y/n ❁: soobiiiiiiiiiiin :(

y/n ❁: soobin come back :(

y/n ❁: i miss u :(

y/n ❁: love :(

y/n ❁: baby :(

y/n ❁: you’re my

y/n ❁: honey bunch

y/n ❁: sugar plum

y/n ❁: pumpy-umpy-umpkin

y/n ❁: you’re my sweetie pie

after soobin had kindly handed his neighbour his scissors with the baby blue handles, he immediately picked up his phone and read your messages. instantly, his face burned up and he dramatically put his hand to his heart (because he was alone, and you made him do things like that just by calling him two pet names and quoting a children’s song). but as the ‘seen’ appeared at the bottom of your messages, panic began to jolt your bones.

y/n ❁: soobiiiiiiiiiiin :(

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

binbread: y/n

binbread: i saw everything you sent lmao

binbread: dont do this to me :(

y/n ❁ is typing…

y/n ❁: do what binnie? :)

binbread: that

binbread: [insert crying cat meme]

binbread: [which i don't have on me now because i cleared my storage]

y/n ❁: ok i literally cant take this

your thumbs twiddled around your screen as you inhaled sharply.

y/n ❁ is typing…

oh no, thought soobin. this is the end. this is where she gets irritated with me because i can’t take a joke. she blocks me and we never talk or hang out again. she find another guy and she’s happy without me and i’m sad and lonely and miserable, shovelling bread into my mouth as a replacement for my soul-

ding!

y/n ❁: you’re too cute for this world soobin

y/n ❁: and u make it so much better for everyone

y/n ❁: especially for me

y/n ❁: and i know this seems weird, and may very well ruin our friendship

y/n ❁: but i really really like you

y/n ❁: and im tired of hiding it

damn, soobin thought. damn i was not expecting that.

soobin’s heart was beating wildly out of his chest for the third time that day, only because of you. his fingers were shaking as he typed his reply as fast as he could. the moment he had dreamed of for months had finally come tapping on his screen.

binbread: oh my god

binbread: i like you too

binbread: i’ve liked you for like

binbread: so long

binbread: is this real

y/n ❁: or is this the fantasy

binbread: those aren’t the lyrics y/n

y/n ❁: i tried okay

binbread: and im so proud of you for doing so

binbread: truly a pop culture queen

y/n ❁: :(

binbread: okay okay

binbread: jokes aside

binbread: i've liked you for like,, 10 months now

binbread: this is a dream come true

binbread: you're a dream come true

binbread: so y/n

binbread: will you go out with me?

y/n ❁: i literally just confessed to you like 3 minutes ago

y/n ❁: like yea of course choi soobin

binbread: you could’ve just said yes :(

binbread: but okay meet me at the 5th station tmr?

binbread: i wanna take you to my favourite bakery! :D

y/n ❁: totally :D

and so here, at fifth station, act ii of your relationship with soobin had revealed itself. soobin looked like a prince, stepping out of the subway in a creme button up and black jeans, approaching you with a red rose in one hand and his phone dialling your number in the other. he smiled brightly as he approached you, seeing your face and your screen, popping up with his contact name.

incoming call…

soobin ❁

and so to his favourite bakery he brought you. it was rose themed, from rose gold metal vases to wooden countertops, and rose infused drinks and pastries, you felt like a princess. his princess. especially when he brought you for a walk in the cafe’s rose garden and you ran your hands gingerly over their velvet petals, thinking about the rose in your hand, how lucky you were to have it, and how many more of them you would get to enjoy. soobin gazed at you with soft eyes and gently took your hand in his.

“we’ll be as beautiful as this, together. a hundred roses,” soobin said, as if he were reading your mind, “wanna make them bloom with me?” 

---

a/n: ayo! hoped u liked my first soobin fic 🥺 i love choi soobin and he’s very cute,, anyway if u have any requests feel free to send em in!! i’d love to write em <3  

[normal-thoughts-official]

Hi, this is a ramble. I have this headcanon of TWI Magnus not having a lot of warlock tolerance to alcohol bc of having his magic dormant for so long, and when he drinks people see him turning from this "shy", kinda quiet, cute guy to a savage who laughs very loudly, rambles non stop and is SUPER kinky in less than 5 minutes. And people around him who've never seem him drunk before are so shocked because is Magnus calling Alec sir? Does he think we can't hear him? Sjskskd idk, what do u think?

we STAN this headcanon. this isn't exactly that but i highly recommend @manzini's fic waste this night away with me for drunk twi Magnus being a kinky bastard and hitting Alec like a runaway train. i mean go and read all her fics for clear skin, but you know

anyway YES he's just. hmmm he's suddenly all loud and it's super cute because he's so happy? smiling wide, laughing loudly, and generally not being super held back like usual. and also HORNY. turns out 90% of what twi Magnus hides when he's sober is horniness. at least when Alec is involved. but he's just. so, so horny

if it weren't for that and the fact that his magic was just going there summoning handcuffs and blindfolds when he got turned on, it would probably take him a lot longer to approach Alec on the subject. as it is, he completely blindsides him when Alec decides to go all romantic and bring him dinner with wine at his loft, and Magnus quickly gets drunk and is all like. "did you know that i actually get really turned on by courtship stuff?" and Alec is just struck speechless because- well that's good information that he's definitely saving for later, thank you very much, but he wasn't expecting it. and Magnus just goes on, like "i dont know why, it just, makes me want to get on my knees and ask you to take me. might be because i like the fantasy of being won over, then fucked and taken and used" and Alec is like hm! okay! thats great honey! we should talk about it when youre sober. because you know, alec is, first and foremost, respectful and responsible, so hes not going to jump into that without a proper, sober talk. also, twi Alec is an experienced dom and he's damn well gonna follow protocols and make sure they negotiate this, if Magnus truly wants to act on this fantasy for starters, no matter how fucking hard he is right now listening to Magnus talk about this so matter of factly

especially because i think twi Alec has a liiittle bit of a kink for like, making Magnus slutty. like because he's so held back and shit he loves it when he gets Magnus to be loud, to scream, to beg and describe exactly what he wants, you know? and Magnus like this, just plainly telling him all about how he wants Alec to tie him up and eat him out until he's crying and use his pussy to get himself off- it. sure is something

Magnus of course is so embarrassed the next day but alec is like "id never judge you for this, even if i weren't into it" and Magnus is like "are you saying that you are into it?" And Alec smiles and tells him about his previous experiences with kink and stuff, and it's nice

anyway! they communicate and make preparations so Magnus is ready and then Alec fucks him just like he wants because it's what he deserves :) the end

[kuroosweakness]

Even more facts about 🐾 anon:

- Idk why but positive words hurt me the most, like when someone says I’m their favorite person in the world only to not mean what they said actually makes me cry a little, but what makes me the most sad is knowing when someone is there for me that I can tell everything in the world too. Just them hugging me makes me feel that.

- I got into anime bc one of my past fav youtubers was into it and so I watched it. I basically started w the YouTube starter pack but actually started w magical girl animes (like Tokyo mew mew (the one she watched) and glitter force) then I drifted to miss kobayashi’s dragon maid to shonen animes

- No thoughts, head empty

- My music taste is probably the average anime tiktoker, like I listen to everything but reverbed and slowed Or in Lo-fi like, Lemon Boy and Me and My Husband but my favorite song to listen to in reverb is Daisy

- I kin music, like it might be weird idc but I do like the beats that are happy but also unsettling? I kin those. Like Not Allowed by tv girl? The part that goes “ALL BY YOURSELF, SITTING ALONE. I HOPE WE’RE STILL FRIENDS YEAH I HOPE YOU DONT MIND” and just loops is the best part to me. “Kaiwa ga tsuzukanai na? Naze da dou shite da? Aho ka?” From to prob the rest of the song of Pretty cvnt by sewerslvt idk I haven’t listened to the full song lmao but the actual meaning of the lyrics don’t matter tho so just know I probably don’t rlly care to look up w that means so it doesn’t ruin it for me ;-;

- I’m a extrovert (:OOO OMG THOSE EXIST) yeah I exist 😩 it’s real easy for me to walk up to someone and start talking since I’m really open about myself and don’t bother to hide things... (except the stuff like y’know... reading fanfics cuz no sane person is gonna go to a random person like “I LIKE READING FANFICTION!” Like I’d probably scared of u now if I was a normie.

- I don’t like being told I’m wrong if I know for a fact I’m right. Like if I say the sky is green and you say the sky is blue I’ll be perfectly fine with that but if you question my intelligence in levels other than that like for a fact from an anime I really like and call me out for being dumb bc I said one thing wrong for example I say “kuroos fav food is grilled salted-mackerel pike” or “itadori’s type are girls like jennifer Lawrence and I find that funny” and you say “no thats stupid” I’m going to call you and scream at you or fight you on sight next time I see you there are no other options. Jk I’ll only threaten you w those and never do it bc I prob love u too much and just give you facts from a easy google search

- Bruh people need to love themselves more like how will you ever love other people if you don’t know how to love yourself? You should always love yourself first before learning to love others because why would you wanna spend your life hating yourself? You’re gonna be with yourself for the rest of your life, even when you’re dead when you really think about it.

- My sleep schedule is chaotic

- I view myself as a good person, but on a chart of chaotic good to lawful evil, I’m probably the most neutral person you’ll ever meet. And I’m genuinely like that. I abide by my own laws. The government doesn’t tell me what’s wrong but neither am I truly against it. I don’t do things like steal but I’ll run in the halls to get to where I need to go or be on my phone during class (most likely with permission because I’m always reading on my phone) that’s why I’m my hero academia and shows the have good and evil bro wtf? Imma be in the middle. I truly think myself as someone you can trust to keep a secret and help when needed but I won’t spy for you on the other group and rat you out. First person that asks I’ll prob help if it’s not hurting someone (most likely bc I’m prob naive and the way you word something like let’s say you asked me to go to a bank to make a deposit or something and now all a sudden come out with money bags like HUHHHHHHHHH? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING A DEPOSIT NOT MAKING AN ILLEGAL WITHDRAWERY WITH ALL THEIR MONEYYYY? (Like my friends and I literally joke about this.) Now all a sudden I’m a getaway driver cause god knows I can’t trust the police with my life😩😩 tfw someone makes you rob a back w/o you knowing✊😔)

- Ayo idc what you do with your life I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, like people trying to peer pressure me into idk let’s say smoking, LIKE BRO I HAVE ASTHMA, IDC HOW GOOD IT MAKE YOU FEEL, ILL LITERALLY DIE IF I DO THAT WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TRICK ME INTO IT

- I’ve tasted alcohol (REALLY IT WAS ON ACCIDENT I WAS AT CHURCH AND ACCIDENTALLY CHOSE THE WINE INSTEAD OF GRAPE JUICE) before and I will now say I’ll never drink it because that’s the nastiest drink I’ve ever drunken in life

- One of my favorite songs are Love Taste by Moe Shop

- My favorite Pokémon game is prob ultra sun and moon

- don’t ask why I decided to watch every Pokémon movie and play every Pokémon game from X and Y and up (I found a friend that has platinum and am playing it but it’s also the first time ive really lost a Pokémon battle and idk that just started something like how dare you win over ME? THE MAIN CHARACTER? YOU NPC, I HAVE THE AUDACITY TO E N D YOU RIGHT NOW)

- first things first, u seem such like a fun person to be around! 

- i get that, kind words definitely hits :’ you’re very lucky to have people like that in your life, and that person is very very lucky to have you in their life! 

- ohhh okay okay i’m assuming you fell into the anime hole too :D 

- me too, me too. no thoughts, just staying in bed with suna by ur side 

- ur music taste!! ✨

- i’m listening to “not allowed” right now and now i feel like skateboarding...you’re right, it’s very happy but also unsettling :) 

- an extrovert, okay okayy while i don’t understand extroverts, i’m very thankful for extroverts’ existence :)) 

omg i remember people talking about how they “used” to read fanfiction and i was sitting there like 👀 yeah i still do ...and now not only do i read, but also write- 

- ahhhh being told ur wrong when u know ur right is such an awkward place to be 😭i’m glad u stand up for urself though! usually, i just nod like okay, ig 

- i- it’s a lot harder said than done to love ourselves :’) especially when there are so many reasons we believe not to. but self love is the MOST IMPORTANT LOVE! 

- not to sound like a parent lmao but try to maintain a good sleeping schedule! it’ll benefit u in many many factors, especially in the future! <3 

- okay okayy u seem like a really interesting person,  i was very amused while reading that paragraph  :))

- i- yes, health > everything else 

- make sure to choose grape juice next time :’) !! 

- i’m listening to it right now hehe 

- pokemon!!! my childhood was full of pokemon ahhh 

- u definitely know a lot more about pokemon than i do, okay okay, the main character always wins ;) 

[whirlybirdwhat]

Accidental Family Man Au

remember that one ask where I talked about some projects? This is one of them. Enjoy dad franky!

So it begins with Franky – a back alley repair in the illustrious mechanic city of Water 7 – a miracle engineering city, they call it, with intertwining roads of cars and rivers. Venice, if Venice was made of concrete and had a road system above its water system, twisting above houses and everything.

Franky used to be one of those engineers that created those miracles, but an accident later, and he’s the scourge of the city and half bionic, making his living in back alley repair shops where you either pay with cash or your life.

He never said he was a good guy, did he Ice Burg?

 He still has connections though – and these connections lead to Iceburg, and to the Straw Hats.

 Iceburg’s the mayor, of course, and while he doesn’t care much for his public image, he knows that if he starts accepting money from shady kids who showed up to his doorstep possibly covered in blood with a woman who he swears he’s seen before beside him, that maybe Water 7’s people will take a hit for harboring criminals.

But hey, He knows a guy already doesn’t he?

So he sends these kids and their broken van down to the Franky House to see if he would fix their beloved, broken, van.

The Straw Hats never reach it, because the woman (Robin) gets kidnapped and a fight breaks out, leading to the separation of the group,

So the story really begins with Franky and the little broken down RV called The Going Merry, previously belonging to the kid who’s standing in front of him, begging him to fix it.

More Hcs Below cut including actual dad Franky stuff lol

That kid is Usopp, and he’s asking because Franky’s the only repair man in the illustrious city of Water 7 that will possibly accept the cash that Usopp has to offer.

He doesn’t.

Instead, he attempts to kick the kid out and gets kidnapped in return.

Oops

 So, Franky’s introduced to Ennies Lobby one of the worst places this side of the country – where people go and never come back, and hey, whats this kid doing kicking down the door?

Safe to say, Franky is rescued, and learns a little more of their story.

And Safe to say, Franky sees the woman they are going to save (him, and a bunch of teenagers and some 12 year old brat) and he near damn falls in love with her on sight and definitely does when he actually talks to her.

They save Robin, and start running – of course, Merry the van is just barely struggling to save all their added weight but they make it but also merry’s totaled.

So Franky shows them his pet project, The Thousand Sunny, supposed to be his super get away, home a way from home rv but with a few modifcations… the Straw Hat Gang has a new home. And a new crew member.

Franky learns everyone’s stories and about all the absolutely shady shit they are into. He learns he fits right in.

 And then… then the moments start happening.

He helps Usopp fix up the Sunny, and teachers him about cars and such. 

He and Chopper start bonding over bionics and medical shit that went into building his body. 

Zoro and him geek out over comic heroes (this, at least in zoro’s part, is canon the big nerd.) 

He helps Nami out with some headings and listens to her troubles. 

Sanji and him go fishing one day and it’s the most surreal experience of Franky’s life because this teen is in a three-piece suit and catching giant fish out on the shore of some lake? What? 

Franky gives Luffy advice and pulls him out of fights and shows him cool robot things.

 And its two months in when Franky realizes – here is it actually typed out lmao

“In all honesty, Franky doesn’t know how it happens.

Well.

He has a vague idea.

(Can you save her? Please? Merry’s the best.)

But still – tracing the events that led up to him frantically calling Ice-for-brains at one am in the morning at a near abandoned gas station on the west coast was a hard task.

“Hello?”

Finally.

“Ice-for-brains,” He starts using the familiar name.

“Flunky? The hell? What are you calling me now?”

“Iceberg.” The use of his real name quiets him. He knows this is serious. Franky takes a deep breath, and exhales, saying the next words in a single breath. “I accidently became a dad to six crazy teenagers. Help.”

…

“Goddamnit bastard-berg this is no time to laugh!””

AND THEN HE GOES ON TO HAVE MORE DAD ADVENTURES INCLUDING:

Organizing the kids at Sabaody Park

being emotional support for all these kids trauma please world, give them a break

doing his best to say no to allowing luffy to swim with sharks but giving in anyway

being a component (aka fierce menacing bodyguard) in his daughter’s nami’s schemes

breaking up fights

 Attempting to ground known criminals who may or may not be stronger than him

Modifying the RV so that they can have Brook and Jimbe on it as well

“MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!”

Overthrowing the government in at least three different countries because his kids wanted to

Doing experiments with illegal fireworks on Usopp’s behest

“Do you want to play catch” “Franky that’s dynamite that we found in the stach what the fuck- “Do you want to play catch” “…Yes.”

Explaining Safe Sex to teenagers who have biggers worries such as the government

Teaching them all how to drive. He thinks hius heart has popped out of his chest.

Snoring loudly on their tiny couch and everyone just dogpiling on him

Also I had this in my notes

So that’s a thing that’s going to happen!

Uh anyway uh PART TWO – THE OTHER FCKING STRAWHATS

Note: Everyone is aged down three years from pre TS ages  to enforce the fact that 1) the government is fucking nuts for assigning bounties to these kids in this au 2) give more dad moments as while we all need a dad in our lives at any age it gives me more plausible reason here 3) plot related issues and the fact that this story takes place over several years and 4) the image of a 14 year old taking down the government is hilarious to me.

So.

Moving on.

Luffy – 14 years old and an absolute bastard

Luffy grew up in the port city of Fuusha as a way for Garp to keep an eye on him because of his family connections and make sure nothing bad happened to him -  didn’t quite work out.

dads a terrorist, his brothers a world class criminal, his gramps is an abusive piece of shit but also weirdly protective marine officer, his family’s complicated. 

 he grew up in the seedy underbelly of the city and made friends with a lot of criminals (who helped him get out because hey that five year old who used to steal our food is a brat and maybe we should help him get out before he becomes to chaotic (too late) and becomes our friend (also too late) )

Among these criminals are Shanks, who wanders through once in a while, Buggy, begrudging friend,  Jimbe, because he has connections, Crocodile, because this brats a bastard, and Rayleigh, among others.

Annoys them to make him his friend, continues annoying them afterwards.

 He just thinks they’re neat.

Luffy leaves two months after Ace, his brother under Dadan’s, the local gang leaders, roof, leaves because Ace can’t tell him to stay behind anymore

but the govt got word now he’s on the run – Coby helps him escape

As such, Luffy grows up with a very very skewed moral compass as in canon but a bit more, and now literally is almost ten times more feral as he should be.

  His goal is now to do whatever he wants, without people telling him what to do or that he can’t do that – He’s going to be free, damnit.

Franky understands and learns over time to adjust his Parenting Skills accordingly

Zoro – 16 and illegally owning a motorcycle because he thought the best way to improve his skill was to go out and hunt down people to fight, and of course he needs a motorcycle to do that, doesn’t he?

 He was pulled over for speeding then taken in for being underage

 He is also caught up in some bad stuff (fight circles, bounty’s, etc. this kids 16 and breaking grown men’s spines.)

Then comes Luffy who was also arrested for dine and dashing and is in the back seat.

 Luffy, who after the police car pulls over, punches out the police officer, unlocks Zoros cuffs and tells him “Drive”

 So they drive

“Hey, hey Zoro. Join my crew. It’ll be fun.”

 “Anything you say captain”

 knows Luffy for three seconds and is immediately down to murder with him

 Its great

He wants to become the greatest sword fighter still, which is still a thing in my fantasy modern world, so anyway, picture this 16 year old going up to you and tell you to fight but he has a sword in his mouth and in both hands and the most dangerous look in his eye.

 He and Luffy immediately rob a sword shop to find him new swords after they meet, it becomes a thing later on where they will steal (horribly, they literally crash in through the window every time because they have no subtly) something small from each city they visit. 

Nami - 15 year old pick pocket in the city where luffy and zoro stop, just trying to scrap up some money to pay off her family’s debt.

 Bellmere’s still alive damnit.

Nami thought Zoro and Luffy were police originally (because they are driving around in stolen police car) and tried to pull the ‘oh officer help me’ card when the people she stole from chased after her

 To her surprise, it was two kids her age in the front seat.

Luffy: “get in”

 she gets in

they dont talk about it

The people who were chasing her was Buggy’s gang who Luffy waves at as he goes by

 Buggy sends a message to Shanks which is essentially “hey that brat u liked is still alive”

And Shanks is like “oh thank god” not knowing the terror he has unleashed upon the world

A month later Arlong has mysteriously disappeared and the Bell-mere farm is flourishing while the second daughter becomes a world class criminal.

 Bell’meres never been prouder and it gives Nojiko a great conversation starter.

Usopp’s 14 and lives in a trailer park called syrup alone

Has a business where he sells odd herbs and such, passing them off as anything that will get him some money – think of it as Toad Oil from Wano but with some popgreens and such mixed in.

His goal is get enough money to stand on his own and leave the park but its slow going. And then…

 Luffy punches the heck outta the creep that was creeping on the owner of the park, kaya, and think’s Usopp’s stories are super cool.

Usopp wants to go with them, to explore the world With Luffy.

At this point, the Straw Hats have realized that driving a stolen police car around is a bad idea

so they take the huge van - a gift from Kaya named The Going Merry, and set off, using Nami’s stolen funds to get them by.

Sanji - 16 year old who longs to be a chef with the best food and just wants to feed people who need it

He hates government cause they don’t feed people and has a lot of petty grudges and helps Zeff run a lot of kitchens to help people.

 He’s still the Sous chef of the Baratie and still has a penchant for kicking unruly customers around. Baratie has a less then stellar reputation for service but the food? The best in the land.

 He feeds Luffy the food.

  Luffy likes the food.

Luffy kidnaps Sanji

Zeff worries about it but he can’t do jack since he actually is not Sanjis legal guardian (he kidnapped the kid first on accident after they both were stranded. He still tries to call anyway, and is proud of the change his son is making in the world. He’s currently working to get suspicious government people off his back about his missing Sous chef with the unique curly eyebrow…

Anyway, Sanji becomes the cook for the strawhats and is really happy because everyone likes his food and he can help anyone along the way and send business to the baratie

Its a good deal for him, and with all the places he visits his skill grows as a chef.

Chopper - 12 year old prodigy who really wants to be a doctor but both his legal guardians are out of the way

Hiruluks dead and Kureha, against her will because she’s still beautiful at 100 dammnit, is in a nursing home trying to break out

 Chopper has nowhere to go but still tries to pursue his medical career, and this fucking twelve year old does so by patching up people from bar and gang fights.

The Straw Hats pick him up and Usopp hacks into a govt control thing to sign him up for online medical course

Kureha’s proud and gives him a book of pressed cherry blossoms that was Hiruluk’s

  He cries

Chopper gets lots of practice for medical stuff with Luffy and Zoro who like to fight in fighting rings just for the heck of it, and for the money that Nami wants.

Robin – 25 year old depressed archeologist (and assassin) they found in a mafia in the next country over (Vivi’s)

Crocodile’s running it, aka Luffy’s criminal uncle number 500

 Luffy’s pissed about it and smacks him into the dust because it’s his friends country, and then drags Robin along because she needs to have some adventure, and hey, they are checking out the ruin’s next, wont that be cool?

 So robin comes along as the ‘adult super vision’, at least in Nami and Usopp and Chopper’s mind.

She learns that these kids have some how been able to dodge school, and starts teaching them the basics of what they would need to know, and then any thing else they want to know. (Zoro, she finds, is extremely good at math while Sanji enjoys chemistry. Nami and Usopp catch on quick, while Chopper has his own studies already but enjoys talking to her. Luffy dislikes learning, but if the promise of pirates or foods or letters that wont spin in his head is involved, he’ll gladly sit down for a bit. He especially loves the stories however.)

Robin finds herself inching dangerously into mom territory, and accepts it whole heartedly after meeting Franky, who she finds handsomely hilarious.

She has a shady past but is slowly opening up about it, and knows she will watch the world burn for this crew.

Y’all know about Franky already so im gonna move on.

Brook – super fucking Old musician they found on the street looking for his dog Laboon

 He used to be a star but lost his fame but doesn’t care – he  only wants to make people happy with his music.

Luffy just straight up just drags him into the sunny, its becoming a habit of him kidnapping people, that’s not how you make friends Luffy (or at least it shouldn’t be – he always seems to make it work.)

 Everyone just goes with it at this point while Franky sighs and triie sto figure out how to make a giant RV even bigger

The Crew find out his dog is living in luffy’s home town and used to play with Luffy when his friends weren’t around. They vow to go back once everything dies down, but in the mean time Dadan gets a new guard dog in her house hold

Usopp posts one (1) video of Brook (on Halloween in skeleton make up) and he instantly becomes a revived star, thriving on the mytery of the Skeleton Soul King.

He now posts videos from around the world of him singing but its impossible to predict where he will be next, and he’s invisible with out his make up to the internet, so its good for the whole criminal thing.

Jimbe

(best) Criminal uncle 501

 No one knows exactly how he knows luffy beyond luffy himself but they are 90% sure its something to do with the underground warlord system that Luffy has connections too

 He gives the best hugs, Uncle Iroh but without the well-meaning manipulation.

 He’s tired of responsibility that he has in his underground position and kinda wants to fuck off to the Caribbean but then he meets luffy again and is like this is better

He Leaves the fishman gang behind with subordinate in charge and joins strawhats

He becomes stressed - “Why did you choose an archeologist and a man who wears speedos for adult supervision, how are you alive, do you need a hug, do you know basic math, have you even gone to school, oh thank god Robin is here - ”

Two minutes later

“Do you have code names, can I have one,”

 He’s a big faker the dummy everyone can see right through you, you’re aren’t on this crew if you have common sense

Between dad moments, essentially its just the Straw hats breaking in and causing havoc where ever they go, building their bounties and being a found family.

That’s it for now, but please ask questions! Sorry this was so long lmao, ill also add something for Vivi later!

[yyxgin]

babe i have plenty of stories!! this is my fourth year as a waitress. this is my third waitressing gig.

the drink runner boy hasn’t needed to learn how to take food orders bc he’s on bar! a lot of the girls there now are going to uni in october and tbh three out of the six hired new starters are going to uni in october too. so basically the staff is gonna drop down sooner or later (some of them were actually leaving this week and last but the manager keeps putting them on thé rota? i think she’s pushing her luck tbh) so i guess he has a reason to learn so he’s ready when the staff drops down. ALSO. one of the ladies asked me where i was from and after i told her she goes ‘oh i thought i recognised you!’ and she told me the road she lived on and i told her i went to the highschool at the bottom of it and... god. she told me the drinks runner lives on the same road and i’m trying to figure out if i recognise him or not. bc i felt like i did right at the beginning and she set me off after telling me that but... man, idk.

my dog’s name is summer, she’s a labrador x springer spaniel. her mum was a fox lab (colour) so her springer spaniel freckles are this lovely goldeny brown colour. i say she’s ginger and my dad tells me off and pets her 😭 i took her off her lead today for the first time and she ate sumn 🤢 it’s too vulgar to tell you honestly.

i had a two hour break at work on monday so i went to the shops and bc where i work is kind of posh i felt like i had to buy something (also there’s two of the posh-er superstores so take that with a pinch of salt) so i bought a plant 🪴 lmao self control is out the window tbh.

and today i bought the dessert thingies the food runner lady let me try! they didn’t do a ‘selection’ multipack only multipacks of just one flavour (does that make sense?) so i got a pack of lychee, a pack of mango and a pack of strawberry (all the flavours they had) and am praying im on a lunch shift next week so i can give it to her when it’s not busy. or at least open them when it’s not busy and share (which is what i wanted to do today but i was planning to kill two birds with one stone and offer the drinks runner one too 😎 big brain. and the kitchen staff if they want some. i believe they’re thai dessert treats and it took me forever to find them (i ended up going to a warehouse for asian foods) but i’m happy i did).

we making moves out here! i’ve been added to the girls’ groupchat for work and i’m happy to be in 🥺 i feel like it would be weird to add all their snap’s straight away so i’m just kind of lingering... man i’m so nervous all the time 😭😭😭😭

anyway!! ask and you shall receive, my love. i’ll tell you any old story, there’s plenty stored away in my head.

im sure your boss is just waiting until you’re due in. in the nicest way possible, there’s not really a need to message you until your first day, i’d say. be sure to ask loads of questions when you’re there!! especially about your paycheck, how you receive it, how often you get paid, any detail you want to know, you must ask before it’s too late. i trust you do that anyway but still!! sorry if im droning, i just worry about people a lot.

it’s also midnight again, i’ve definitely forgotten some things to say but i shall sleep and get my beauty rest for tomorrow’s shift ❤️ ily2 bb

ooh i hope that boy learns how to do it quickly so he can stand in and do the things he has to :// also woRLD IS A SMALL PLACE OMG its so weird how close-by you all are😩 is your town small perhaps ??

omg summer is a legend😔✊ i was at the vet w my grandmas dog today and he was so scared i felt so bad for him🥺he almost jumped down from the table thank god my aunt was holding him. he is a village dog so everything abt the city scared him and getting him there by car was a very difficult journey sksksk

I SUPPORT YOUR NEWEST PLANT ADDITION❤ selfcare. my cactus bloomed flowers for the first time today and i got so excited omg

aah you sound so precious,,sharing food is the best way to get close to someone imo. also i appreciate the effort you put in to get those and i really want to try it now😭 AND DONT BE NERVOUS IM SURE THEY ALL LOVE U !!

i mean im sure she is just busy and will probably call me soon but,,i have never been relaxed in my life ever so i am just really anxious and nervous abt everything and its so new to me soo yeah💔 thanks for the advice !!! i know all abt the paychecks and stuff bc we talked abt it already in the job interview and i'll make sure to ask a lot of questions !! dont worry djsj everyone babies me bc i am pretty much a baby so i dont mind the advice and u looking after me lol <3

sleep well !! i hope u have an amazing day tomorrow 🤩🤍 ily