#actually the whole direct wasnt a waste now that I think about it

[paghihina]

july 5th 2022 6:17am 2 years and 4 months into the pandemic and i have no life?

as of writing this, i just stayed up another morning and will be expecting myself to sleep the whole day off once again

currently summer. i go back to school next month. in a new school in an ultra cool university! but rn i really have nothing to do but literally lie around

very lucky to not even worry about anything else rn apart from the dread of workload that this ultra cool university will give me but idk i really do feel i dont have a life apart from school rn

dont get me wrong i have best friends and acquaintances, i just dont talk to them a lot or even hang out with them despite our free time because of a multitude of reasons. we havent even spent time as a complete quintet for 2 years now. we only had that one prom night—which was very fun dont get me wrong though it was underwhelming for my little ambitious movie making brain— but one of us wasnt there. she even pops up in my dreams every once in a while and its great i still remember her face. our friend group just doesnt converse a lot online because it's just the way it is. we don't always have the energy to message and reply to one another and we have a mutual understanding of that. though i wish it was a bit diffferent.

in another universe, we would make use of our summer by playing in the local timezone and make memories and collect memorabilia, but that's just not the case.

to go back to the main point, i basically do nothing here. i did apply to mcdo last week (?) in hopes of a one-month summer job to fuel my spending bursts though i havent gotten anything back.

i tap through my friends' friends' insta stories and just see everyone doing something. theyre getting licenses, theyre hanging out with their friends, joining contests, doing stuff they like, celebrating birthdays, even partying, all of that stuff.

not that i have anything of interest. actually that's one of the things that upsets me the most. i lack passion haha. i don't have a good hobby that gives me a drive or eagerness to improve in. i feel like a speck more than ever.

a heavy speck at that. along with this little "i've officially wasted two years of my life" thing i have going on, i've gained weight. from 90lbs to 120lbs this summer. i know, still quite thin but to put that on a barely 5'2 teenager, it's got impact.

though, can you blame me? ive barely been able to go out of my family's condo unit and who am i to reject the food just staring daggers at my direction whilst they sit in the closed pantry.

my self-image has gone a different path as well. don't know how in-depth i'll get on here but let's see.

first, my arms. it's now as wide as... something. can't think of anything to compare to it rn but certainly not the twig i want it to be so badly (meant lightly though kinda not? not sure). hate wearing sleeveless tops and anything that would wrap around it snugly, adds onto the weird feeling it gives to my armpits because of the arm holes.

secondly, my face. a good circle with flabs on the bottom. i look like the fucking moon emoji. ruins my day right when i see it in the mirror outside of my door. that added to the constant ridiculing my parents do as a hobby. it's like they want me to hate myself? of course it's all for jokes. but cmon.

ill keep the last item short but lastly, my tummy. just envision it as one of a fucking tito who drinks religiously.

—

it's just very funny—to me, at least—that i've grown into someone lame. not that i dream of becoming the stereotypical cool kid who parties like it's a 9-5 job but it's just not the way younger me wanted things to go i guess. i just hoped to be someone happy in something they do and is enjoying life in whatever way it may be. just not the case rn.

—

a song i like at the moment:

swaying with #the one as this plays while we watch the sun go down yeahhhhhhhhhh

[thebuttsmcgee]

ruh roh my friends, I woke up at 5am in the mornin, ya know what that means!

[rouiettes]

raya and the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen holy fuck who the hell thought to give a dragon fuckiNG EYEBROWS WHY WHY—

aka the musings of a filo non-binary bisexual who feels victimized by the dragon designs of this fucking movie supposedly centred around THE LAST DRAGON???? MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED STONE GDI WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY DO THE DRAGONS LOOK LIKE THAT

let's get one thing straight.

none of the characters in this movie. rest assured. not a single straight person was in this movie. trust me.

raya and the last dragon had all the foundations of a good movie

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT

BUT IT WASNT

AND HERE'S WHY

(in my humble opinion okay pls dont come for me)

a disney movie with sea culture at its heart and soul, i was so hyped to finally watch this movie

(not as hyped as i could have been tho bc let's be honest DISNEY DID SHIT WITH RAYA'S MARKETING)

(AND PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON LOL I SWEAR I DONT HATE THIS MOVIE OKAY)

you had the amazing score, the amazing concepts for plot and characters, the solid solid worldbuilding???

if you just told me about how raya's setting and premise, i'd probably be "wow this movie sound like the whole package"

and then i'll actually watch the movie and have just as much trust issue as raya did :/

but i digress

A DISNEY MOVIE WITH SEA CULTURE AT ITS HEART AND SOUL

do you know how diverse sea culture is??? VERY

and one thing i was very happy to see was how raya handled it

it was by no means perfect but

the subtle shows of culture in the way the characters acted, and the environment of the movie was just CHEF'S KISS

not only that but the ideas the movie had in terms of its world and the people in it felt genuine, it felt alive

a dragon that isn't the typical fire-breathing lizard

characters who look like they could easily be my neighbours or children i've played with

instead of pandering to this movie felt like an actual homage to sea cultures

and for good reason bc seeing all those familiar names rolling in the credits had me feeling some type of way :")

also that fucking soundtrack gave me chills throughout my watch of the movie

okay now that we've got the things i actually like about the movie, let's talk about what i don't like

if there's one word i could use to describe disney's raya it would be: rushed

like i said in the beginning, all the groundwork for an astounding disney movie were already there

but all of it just goes to waste bc the plot and it's characters feel so Unfinished

the movie felt like a bullet-point presentation of the story

WHICH IS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING BC THE CHARACTERS SEEMED SO INTERESTING but all we got were shadows of what they could have been

cardboard cutouts of the archetypes they filled

i'm not asking for a bottomless well of depth, but i at least wanted more for the cast than just: angry misunderstood princess, angry misunderstood princess with an undercut, that one dancing kid from moana but with more spice, boss baby, and the mountain

and i get that they had to sacrifice some of their depth to keep the run time of the movie short but you have got to be better than this disney

i hate to compare but it felt like this movie tried to go beyond what moana gave us, and shot so far that it ended up back to where it started, and then stumbled back a few steps

AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING A DRAGON MOVIE WITH A BIG CAST IS IMPOSSIBLE

BC IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DID IT THREE TIMES

and you'd think the plot for one of the few disney movies with a non-western setting would have more than just a macguffin considering how batshit sea folk tales can be

but you'd think wrong folks.

GENUINELY IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE ATTEMPTING SOMETHING BUT WERE SHORT OF BRINGING IT TO FRUITION

sure moana had a macguffin too with the heart of te fiti, but the heart itself wasn't the heart of the movie

it was the journey of moana and maui

it was that BEAUTIFUL TWIST WITH TE KA AND TE FITI

ALL DELIVERED WITH A NATURAL FINESSE THAT HAD YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

YOU WERE ALONG FOR THE RIDE OF THE STORY INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON LIKE I WAS

maybe this was just me but like, i felt so bad for the friend who watched this movie with me bc all i could go on and on was how the plot felt like it was getting in the way of itself

why didn't the different kingdoms (??) kept the gem in rotation or smth, when did they decide that heart would keep it and then get mad at heart for keeping it????

why didn't awkwafina dragon just show herself to the kingdoms bc everyone seems to be in agreement that dragons good right? that they would be the key to getting rid of the druun right??? SO THEY'D ALL AT LEAST HEAR HER OUT OR SMTH RIGHT????????

and yes raya has trust issues but it seems to only spring up at the most convenient times plot-wise, we didn't really see her learn to trust other people again OTHER THAN THE TIMES WHERE SISU WOULD HAMFISTEDLY SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD SOMETIMES RAYA

we see it with boun, but then she just trusts noi, her monkeys, and tong THE GUY WHO STRUNG THEM UP AND WAS THREATENING TO TORTURE THEM????????

i'm gonna be honest and say that if it weren't for namaari i'd have absconded the moment sisu came on screen

as far as i'm considered the actual plot of the movie is just the entire sword fight scene between her and raya

and finally

we get to the part i will be erasing from my brain for my own mental well-being

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DRAGON DESIGN

WHY OH WHY TH  E FUCK DOES SISU SOUND AND LOOK LIKE THAT

my friend said they looked like the ponies from mlp in 3d AND NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE IT

THEY HAVE EYEBROWS THEY HAVE HUMAN FACES

HUMAN FACES ON MAJESTIC DRAGON BODIES

THE INTERNET HAS COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THAT SISU IS BASICALLY FURRY ELSA

every time we got a sisu close up i lost 5 years to my life

disney i am suing for damages

if you want me to drop the charges i demand raya 2: electric boogaloo but it’s just raya and namaari enemies to friends to lovers ark

and also for them to never say dragon nerds ever again

AGAIN. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON GAVE US BEAUTIFUL DRAGON DESIGNS. HELL IF YOU WANTED MORE EASTERN LOOKING DRAGONS FUCKING SPIRITED AWAY??? HAKU??????????

AND YKNOW WHAT. SISU WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT HORRIFIC IF THE MOVIE WAS IN 2D

im not the first person to be side-eying disney's decision to keep pumping out these 3d movies but like.

no amount of added dimensions could ever make that dragon design okay

and there so many more points i could go off on to show how this movie was rushed

how the other dragons, and even sisu's siblings whom she had been missing for the entire movie DIDNT MAKE A SINGLE SOUND???? NOT EVEN A FUCKING GROWL DISNEY???? DID YOU EVEN TRY WITH THE DRAGONS AT ALL??? THE SUPPOSED CENTRE OF THIS MOVIE'S PLOT?????????

HOW THE CHIEFS OF THE OTHER KINGDOMS WERE BASICALLY PLOT DEVICES????

THAT ONE CHIEF'S SKELETON WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF THEM COMBINED ALIVE

kudos to that one granny chief though

u can never have enough bad ass old ladies

AND GOD THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS JUST FELT SO FORCED

ALONG WITH WHATEVER LESSON SISU WANTED TO IMPART ABOUT TRUST

LOVE THESE CHARACTERS THEY ARE FUNNY THEY ARE FRIENDS FOUND FAMILY

TRUST PEOPLE IF U WANT THEM TO TRUST U

TRUST PEOPLE OR ILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL U

children aren't stupid disney. if you tell your story well enough, they'll pick up on the messages you want to give them. YOU DONT HAVE TO THRUST EVERYTHING IN OUR FACES

i was exhausted by the time i finished this movie

bc i really wanted to love it. i wanted to feel more for it than just: well, it's a movie :)

i dont hate this movie though like it's not even worth the energy for that

i think that ultimately, despite all my issues with it, this movie was a step in the right direction when it comes to having non-western stories being told by non-western people in big name productions

i'm glad raya and the last dragon exists

i just can't help but be dissapointed though bc this movie put so much effort into putting my people and culture at its forefront but at what cost???

good characters and story for a good setting and design????

does it have to be one or the other?????

DOES THE DRAGON HAVE TO HAVE EYEBROWS??????

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[chaoticallygray]

Hi! How are you? Can I request a oneshot about Leopold from the Irregulars? Like that they get into some sort of an argument and the reader storms out, Leo chases after them and accidentally confesses? It's fine if you don't want to do it.

Requested by: Anon!

Hi!! I'm good I hope you're good too! Wasnt sure what gender or pronouns you wanted so I tried to stay general. Might have gone a bit overboard but go big or go home right?? I hope you like it anon even though I feel like I strayed a bit

It had been another day of running with the gang and solving another case given to them by Watson. It was also another day where Y/N felt utterly useless. It wasn't an entirely new feeling for them but with the added cases it felt like everyone had a part to play. Spike made sure everyone got along and always lighened up the room, Jesse had that whole psychic thing going on with her, Billy was the muscle, Bea was the leader and always had a plan, Leo was the brains, and Y/N was just... there. Y/N tried to help but was always told to stand aside. It never really seemed apparent that Y/N didn't do anything necessary to help on cases (not for a lack of trying) until earlier that day.

---

Leo, Y/N, and surprisingly Billy were tasked to find information on any and every poison that could be found in London as two women and a man had suddenly died in their homes and were all found with a note in their hands saying that the clock is ticking.

They'd been trying to solve this case for two days now and getting antsy. They were stuck.

"I'm going to go over there and see what I can find. I'm thinking they could have been injected something or someone poisoned their food." Leo said already grabbing three different books from the shelves and mumbling to himself.

Billy and Y/N looked at each other and shrugged. They were used to Leo being this odd when it came to books. It was his thing.

Heading in a different direction than Billy, Y/N started brainstorming letting their hand glide through some books until a book about botany caught her eye. Whenever Y/N could have more than an hour alone they liked to read. It's not really a secret but they have never mentioned it to the others especially now that Leo joined. He was so much smarter than Y/N and that was precisely what made him catch Y/N's attention when they were first introduced on the case with the missing babies.

Shaking their head and smiling fondly at the memory Y/N sighed. There was no way Leo would ever look twice at them. They weren't going to even entertain the thought. There was a case to solve.

Opening the book, Y/N realized that they had read this one before which was why it probably caught their eye in the first place. Closing it and going to place it back where it belonged Y/N remembered having read about a plant capable of causing respiratory problems and stopping the heart of anyone that touched it for merey a second. Quickly trying to find the page on the plant Y/N ran back to where Leo was looking like a madman with fifteen different books open around him.

"Leo!" Y/N exclaimed and then dropped their voice to a whisper remembering where they were with a blush.

"I think I've found it" Y/N whispered to Leo who wasnt paying attention.

"Yeah Y/N go ask Billy to read it for you. This is important" Leo said waving around a hand in dismissal not really listening to Y/N.

"What? No Leo I think I found what they were poisoned with." Y/N said confused by what he said about finding Billy.

"Y/N don't be ridiculous. Can you stop? I really need to find this" Leo said not even sparing Y/N a glance just continued flipping through different books.

"But Leo..." Y/N started protesting but was caught off by Leo slamming a book closed.

"Y/N stop it! I need silence to think and you going about whatever it is you think you found isn't helping. You never actually help us solve the cases so can you do me a favour and go look at a book with pictures or something while I find the poison and we can all get a decent nights sleep?" Leo told Y/N without even thinking about how he just basically called the one person who is always there for him and the one person he has been heavily crushing on since they met, useless.

Immediately standing up to apologize he didn't get the chance as Y/N whose lip was already trembling slammed the book they had in their hands onto Leo's chest where he already knew he was going to bruise but at this point he thought he deserved worse for hurting Y/N like that.

Running out of the room Y/N nearly collided with a confused Billy.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" Billy asked but was promptly ignored.

Billy looked back to Leo who had a kicked puppy look to him shocked at what he had said.

Shaking his head at Leo, Billy went outside to try to find one of his best friends with no such luck.

Y/N was already long gone.

---

Falling asleep miserable yet with no tears was something Y/N was not a stranger to. It had been happening too frequently now and at this point they're exhausted.

Y/N didn't go back to the cellar that day. Whenever they needed space to breathe and just br they always go to a surprisingly very empy not so much of an alleyway near the docks. There is a small nook int he corner where Y/N can sleep peacefully without unwanted company. For safety reasons Y/N only told Spike about this place in case the gang needed Y/N for something. So far, they hadn't.

It was precisely here that Leo found Y/N the next day. He had immediately wanted to run off after them but Billy told him to give them space. When Y/N didn't go back to the cellar that night well after the case was solved, Leo got concerned and started overthinking. He couldn't sleep and all he could think about was how he messed up. He was scared that Y/N didn't want to be friends anymore. Yes, he dreams about being more but he rather be friends than have nothing.

The next day when the rest woke up Leo was still sitting near the cellar doors waiting for Y/N to come back. He looked as though someone punched both his eyes.

"Mate why don't you go to sleep? Y/N will be back" Spike said trying to reassure him.

"I can't. I need to apologize. I didn't mean it I was just stressed." Leo said looking up at Spike, who had a hand on his shoulder, with wet and red eyes.

"Look mate, I'm only telling you this because I've seen you two. You're great together and the best thing is you don't realize you both like each other" Spike said sighing and then told Leo where Y/N was probably at.

Quickly thanking Spike, Leo wasted no time and ran as fast as he could out of the cellar doors on his way to make things right.

Arriving at the docks, Leo went to the left and tried to find the little alleyway Spike told him. Walking as quick as he could with his cane he finally spotted Y/N sitting on top of a wall just looking out at the water.

Stopping at the wall Leo took a second to admire Y/N. The sun was still low in the skyly but it was making Y/N's eyes shine and he had never seen then more serene than in that moment. He wished he could see that everyday and he hated to think that he was the reason why Y/N was upset enough that they didn't feel like they should have gone back to the cellar the day before.

"Are you here to call me useless again or are you just going to stare?" Y/N said without looking over at Leo who was momentarily startled out of his staring spell.

"I'm actually here to apologize." Leo answered.

"Save your breath Leo. You can go back and tell Bea or whoever sent you that I'm fine and I'll go back to the cellar later" Y/N said jumping off from the wall they were sat in and starting to walk away. Leo quickly trying to catch up with his limp.

"No one sent me I-" Leo started but was quickly cut off when Y/N sharply turned around to face him.

"Not surprising since I'm useless." Y/N said to Leo scoffing and turning around once again to continue on their journey with no destination.

"No Y/N listen please" Leo said but Y/N didn't care they just kept walking.

"Y/N" Leo kept trying with no luck.

Getting tired but not willing to stop, Leo tried to speed up but his leg thought that this was the best time to lock up and seize movement and he fell.

Hearing Leo's quick grunt of pain and a slight thud, Y/N turned around and seeing him groaning on the floor trying to get up quickly ran back to help him.

"No, no stop I deserve it." Leo said swatting away Y/N's hands.

Not listening to him Y/N got him in a sitting position. Rolling Leo's pant leg Y/N assessed the situation and didn't think he needed anything more than rest and something cold against his leg. Also less restricting clothes.

"Why are you helping me?" Leo croaked after a minute of looking at Y/N with tears in his eyes from the pain.

Y/N just looked at him and got a small tin from the bag they're always carrying.

Opening the tin and pushing some type of paste on their fingers, Y/N concentrated on applying a light and even coat on Leo's leg hoping the mixture would help soothe the pain.

"You're not useless." Leo said and Y/N hesitated for a second then went back to applying the salve not saying anything.

"I didn't mean what I said. I should have never said that to you. The case was taking so long and my leg was starting to bother me but Billy was there and I didn't want to say anything. I always slow us down. I was angry at myself. At my body and I took it out on the last person I ever wanted to hurt" Leo said closing his eyes willing himself not to cry.

Hearing no response just feeling light careful touches on his leg he continued spilling his thoughts.

"You're so brave and compassionate. You're so so smart and so kind. You always make sure that everyone has eaten and you always somehow know when one of us is having a bad day and you make it your mission to make us smile at least once. You're always polite and make sure to help anyone you see that needs help. You're so selfless Y/N. Always helping everyone and I wish I could help you and treat you like a queen but I'm always hurt and you deserve the world. You deserve someone who isn't afraid to climb a tree with you or even do something as simple as walking all over London. I can't be that and it pains me because I'm so in love with you and I'm so incredibly sorry for hurting you. All you do is help and I called you useless" Leo rambled hoping that Y/N will forgive him not even noticing that he slipped up and told them that he was in love with them.

Sensing that Y/N stopped their movements on his leg Leo opened his eyes thinking that Y/N left him. What he didn't expect was for Y/N to look at him with tears in their eyes.

"You, you're in love with me?" Y/N whispered scared that if they talked louder the moment will have turned out to be a dream.

Widening his eyes Leo finally realized what he said.

"No! I mean yes! I'm in love with you Y/N. I didn't mean to say that! I know you don't feel the same and I know you want someone stronger and not broken like I am but I can't help my feelings. It's ok though I'll leave. I'll leave you alone-" Leo was cut off from his nervous babble when a pair of lips pressed firmly to his.

Hesitantly pulling back from him, Y/N smiled softly at him not caring that they're still on the ground near the docks but needing to say this now.

"I'm in love with you too Leopold" Y/N said and with that Leo didn't care anymore about his leg that strangely enough had stopped hurting when Y/N started applying the salve but he saves that thought for later and focuses on how the person he thought he could never have loves him of all people.

"Are you sure?" Leo said placing both of his hands on Y/N cheeks wiping away a tear that seemed to have escaped from their eyes.

"Yeah I am. I love you" Y/N said looking into his eyes.

"I love you so much" Leo whispered before pulling in Y/N for another kiss.

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet-chapter 11: he’s kind

All chapters

chapter 10

Dinner had ended and I was heading to Snape's classroom for my detention/private lessons. I was thinking about the whole Yule Ball thing, was I really gonna get up in front of tons of people that I didn't know? And then start singing? I mean what if nothing comes out, or they laugh and think I'm ridiculous. But like Hermione had said I didnt wanna disappoint my Godfather. Plus I didn't know how much longer he was gonna be around. I don't want to upset him, especially after how gracious and kind he's been to me this year. 

As I got closer into the dungeons and nearer to Snape's classroom I spotted Lockhart going the same direction as I. I stopped for a moment to see where he was gonna go. Sure enough he walked into Snape's classroom, when the door shut behind him I quickly ran over and pressed my ear to it. "Ahhh Professor Snape I have an inquiry regarding one of our students." I heard lockhart say in a cocky tone, the bastard better not be talking about me. "What is it Gilderoy?" Snape asked, annoyance dripping from his voice, what a power move, calling him by his measly little first name. What kind of a name is Gilderoy? It sounds like something you step in. "I wanted to say..how dare you remove Y/n from my detention like that! She did a punishable offense and should have gotten far worse than what I gave her, and she is to serve it with me!" he exasperated, gosh he sounds like a toddler! "Ms. L/n does indeed need to be punished and I see it more fitting she serves detention with me, since I am able to provide her with a punishment that will ensure she never does it again." Snape clapped back, look at him, sticking up for me, what a gentleman. I began to feel heat rise to my cheeks but ignored it to keep listening. "Look here Severus, I don't know where you get off telling me how to punish my students!" Lockhart said with more anger in his tone. This was getting out of hand. I wonder if I should go in. No, no Snape can take care of himself.

"Oh I know perfectly well how you punish your students" Snape said with venom in his tone. Wait. What did he mean by that? "I have no idea what you are talking about." Lockhart said clearly more afraid now. "So it would seem, now get out of my class I have a student who needs to serve detention soon!" Snape said, raising his voice more. I heard footsteps coming closer and hurried back down the hallway to pretend I wasn't eavesdropping. As I walked back towards the classroom, surely looking like a fool if anyone saw me, Lockhart left Snape's room clearly stressed. "Ah Y/n hello darling" vomit. "Professor Lockhart" I said, nodding and trying to walk past him. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. "Not so fast" he said, leaning over me, considering our height difference was almost a foot. "Is there something I can do for you, put a spell on you again maybe?" I said not wanting him to think he could intimidate me. "Look here, you may think you have gotten out of this one, but I assure you, I am not finished with you yet and you can bet! that I-" "Mr. Lockhart, Ms. L/n needs to get to her detention so if you could kindly step away from the girl and let her through we won't have any issues now will we?" Snape said, cutting him off as he came out of his classroom. I smiled and hurriedly walked past Lockhart over to Snape. He cleared his throat "No I was just leaving." he said scared and hurrying off down the hall.

We got into his room and I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you professor, although I'm almost certain I can handle that joke of a man." I said looking up at him. "Yes, well i'm certain you can take him as well, but we do not need to give him any reason to assign you another detention." he said, almost smirking. There it is again the almost smile he's been doing around me. Dare I say I bring some joy to this man's life. We stood in silence for a few seconds and I chirped up "Professor, can I ask you something?" I inquired as he walked around over to his desk and sat down. "Depends what it is." He said, stacking some papers. "Do you ever smile?" I said with bright eyes, walking over to my seat, hoping he would understand it was a genuine question. "No" "No you don't smile, or No I can't ask you that?" he sighed, "Both" I laughed "Oh come on there's gotta be some stuff that makes you smile" I said staring at him writing whatever teachers write down. "Not even taking away house points? Or first years blowing up potions?" "Well I suppose seeing Lockhart lose his position would make me laugh" he responded, I giggled and he looked up at me "Was that a joke? Oh even if it wasnt, that was funny, I would smile, heck throw a party, if that happened!" I said laughing "You know what would also make me smile? Knowing I'm not wasting my time giving you these lessons and you pass the test tomorrow."

"Well do not worry Professor I will not let you down, let's crackin 'shall we?" I said smiling and opening my books. "Pull your chair up and we will make sure you succeed tomorrow, I don't need you bringing down my class average again" he said with a hint of a joking tone but a serious face. I pulled up my chair and we spent the next three hours studying. I didn't even realize it was so late it was already almost 10:00 and I was growing tired, but I was gonna do anything to pass this test, if not for me, than for Professor Snape. As we sat and studied I noticed more features of Snape I hadn't noticed before, his dark black eyes were actually very...nice... to look at and his face seemed soft, worn and distressed, like he'd seen some stuff, but smooth. And that hair it was pure black and long but it was beautiful, it looked silky, like my fingers would just glide through it. Wait what am I saying this is my Professor, oh merlin y/n stop these thoughts, shut it down right now. I blinked hard to erase the thoughts and yawned. "Mm yes it is actually very late, I think you have done a tremendous amount of studying for the test tomorrow and I think you will do well." he said as I snapped back into reality. "Yes thank you Sir I will get going now." We both stood and he walked over and opened the door for me. "Thank you for everything, not just the studying, but Lockhart and the whole detention thing too." I said looking up at him. I wanted to hug him as a kind gesture, but I wasn't sure that was entirely appropriate, especially after the intrusive thoughts I had minutes prior. "Of course anytime Ms. L/n" "you know you can just call me Y/n. I kinda feel we are friendly enough now for less formal titles." "Ok I will try Ms. L/n" "And I could call you Se-" he put his hand up, "Don't push it" he said. I smiled and looked down at my feet to hide the blush I felt rising to my cheeks, heavens what's gotten into me why does this keep happening? "Ok well Goodnight Sir." I said turning to leave. "Goodnight Y/n" he said quietly as I walked off down the hallway, smiling to myself that he called me Y/n.

As I got into my dormitory I tiptoed quietly, to not wake my roommates, over to my bed. Oh I need to tell Dumbledore I'm gonna do the Yule ball thing. I wrote a quick note accepting his offer and handed it to Hera, "Take this to Albus real quick please." I whispered to her and opened my window, she flew out and I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I exited the bathroom and Hera had returned with a response in beak. I opened it and it was Dumbledore saying he was glad I said yes and was very excited to see what I would sing. I gave my owl a treat and closed her cage door, and laid down in my bed. I looked up at the ceiling thinking about the test tomorrow, my mind wandered to the potions professor, he was being so kind to me, I thought of his voice, and his eyes. I felt a little nervous tingle in my chest that went as fast as it came, this time it was a good one. What was that? Why did that happen when I thought of him, I've never really had that weird spurt before. I rolled over and closed my eyes, ignoring the feeling and falling asleep.

[vvaane]

Evon

Hi, i’m Evon. Yea that’s the best way to start writing about a god damn serial killer, a proxy or whatever you guys call us. It’s late at night and you might be wondering why someone like me would write a book, dont i have people to kill? Cops to run from? Watch my back maybe? Nah man i used to do that before... that happened. Do you ever contemplate about your life? You know things like: what if i didn’t do that? what if i stayed silent? what if what i said once changed the whole story? Yea i know, a lot of what ifs. What can i say, i like to think. I may be a monster who kills like killing machine but i still have 'me' time.

I think i’m just rambeling now but yea another thing about me is that i like to talk, maybe too much sometimes. I wasn’t always like this though, as a child i was very quite and kinda depressed. Childhood isn’t my best memory to be honest, all i remember is wasting it on suffering and building up rage, until of course, i snaped.

Usually if someone asks me about that time of my life, i kill them without hesitation but in this case no one asked me so here we fucking go. Appriciate this because i’m not gonna talk about my shity life ever again. I was born on a beautiful day of summer, 4th of july 2000. I don’t have memories of my family, the only thing i know is that my mom commited suicide because of postbirth depression and dear old dad didn’t even bother to raise me or to even be in my life, good i killed him. Anyways, i spend my childhood at a church, raised in the name of this so called god, yea that place as holy as it sounds like, it wasn’t. Everyone feared the priest. What can i say, he was the best, always beating and torturing us many times even if we didn’t do anything wrong, my best and only friend was killed by this motherfucker. I myself got in trouble many times just because i 'wasn’t a man'. I don’t know how are you supposed to be a man at 13 years old but sure. You got 3 chances to 'go on gods way' if u didn’t make it you were send to a room that looked like an old basement of a castle. The room was dark and the only light you were seeing was from a little window, the door was big and scary honestly, when you first come into the room you would see a big statue of that bitch Mary. There the priest would give you 3 options: beat you, tie you in chains and not feed you for a week or put you in isolation for up to half a year. That guy was crazy and i’m pretty sure he hated children. Every kid would choose to be beaten because it lasted a short period of time compared to the other options. I was a maniac since i was little so i tried everything, being beaten till i was unconscious which isn’t that bad compared to the other things, i was beaten with everything you can imagine, chains, belts etc. I still have scars all over my body from that. Many kids weren’t strong enough and died. Their bodys were thrown in a room and from there they would be put then in the crematorium like they were nothing. Next i was tied and not fed, let me tell you, you get so hungry at one point you would even eat youself and i have seen one kid bite into his own arm somehow. Now the last and worst, isolation.I’ve been in isolation for maximum 2 months, i was put in a diferent room, this one had no windows so no light would come in, i felt like i was in a box, i had no bed, no nothing, i would eat once every 2 days half a bread. Many kids who went there didn’t come back. My friend was always send there even if he didn’t choose that. Dear Mike died when he was 15, i was 14 at the time.

Anyway, believe it or not that prepared me for what was next to happen. How do u think i survived the proxy training? That shit is hard but i will get there in a minute. After my friends death i felt like i wasn’t myself, i felt like some other me was taking control over my mind and body. When the priest found out about this change in my behavior he said i was possesd my some kind of demon and he performed this so called exorcisms on me that consisted in bathing me in holy water, tyeing me to the bed and saying many prayers. Useless. It wasn’t any of that. I actually had a second personality, a manifestation of my darkest and deepest thoughts and ideas. It was really hard for me to get used to this other me, over the time i even gave him a name: Devon. He became my best friend, he was the the only one who understood me. I faked being a normal kid so that the priest won’t try to take Devon away from me. I didn’t take any meds so day by day he was stonger and stronger, over the years we did many things, we destroyed a lot, first it started slow with plates and glasses but then i started to kill some animals around the church and the fact that i enjoyed it scared me at first. After i started doing this things i always felt watched, usually i was dizzy and sometimes i started to hear whispers even if i was alone in a room.

Years went by fast if i think about it, like if they were nothing, winters were the hardest because it was always cold and with all the tortureing sure it wasn’t the best thing. I was 18 when that event happned, i still remember every detail. It was summer, the weather was really hot, i was in my room when Devon took control out of nowhere, he wanted me to escape, to be free, to take revenge for every single thing they've done to me. He was right, i had to do something to get out and i wasn’t only gonna do that, i had to kill the priest and burn this place down. That church was what you guys call hell. If it’s hell then it has to burn. All day i wondered through every room in search of gasoline and matches, eventually at exactly 7:45pm i found what i needed, i stared at the objects like they were my saviours. Devon took control again and everything started, i poured the gasoline on every hallway of the church until the priest saw me, he wanted to hit me but i managed to fight him for a while, he was stronger than me so i ran away with the gasoline, i took a hatchet just to know i have something to defend myself with. I lit the match and threw it, i enjoyed the view of this place burning, i felt like i was able to dream again, i felt free and i didnt care who was still in there, the only thing that mattered was the fact that i got revenge and that im finally free. The view was ruined by the priest who was running in the woods. Of course i chased him with the hatchet until i lost him for a minute but then i heard a scream so i went in that direction. the adrenaline was overwheliming, i felt so powerful like i could do anything. After running for like a good 10 minutes i saw the priest dead with his killer getting off of him. The anger i felt in that moment is unimaginable, he stole my victim, the only person i wanted to kill with my hands, he took that away from me. I started running towards him with my hatchet. He stayed still like he didnt care, as i got closer to him i saw that he had the same weapon as me. I stopped and he smiled at me:

-You remind me of myself when i was little.

-I don’t fucking care what i remind you of, you just killed my victim!

-I’m Toby, Ticci Toby, nice to meet you...

- Evon, i said hesitantlly. Why are u doing this?Being nice.

-Thats a rule i have to follow, don’t kill or be rude to other killers.

Thats what changed everything, right after that i saw this faceless man behind Toby, he wasnt scared at all. This creature began speaking to me somehow.

-Child, i can give you a new home and i can let you be who you are, you don’t have to be afraid!

I didn’t have a place to go to so i accepted, i didnt know the training was gonna be so hard and long though. First i had to fight every proxy and that Masky guy left a scar on my face that went over my eye and my eye changed colour, from brown it went bloody red. Then i had to learn how to kill, how to survive, how to run from cops, it was hard for me but Toby helped me a lot. We got close and he took me with him every time Slends would give him a job. He was the youngest before i came in the picture. He told me his story, i told him mine. I had a friend after a long god damn time.

Now i’m 21 and i’m one of the best proxys Slender ever had. Toby is still the best of the best and to be honest he deserves the title. That’s my story. Now that you know it you should be prepared because i might come for u next.

[bakugous-abs]

Day 5 of Halloween 2020

~Brought to you today by Admin Bomb!

~~~

October First

Halloween. God, Bakugou couldn't tell if it was his favorite or least favorite time of the year. 

No, he definitely wasn't one to wear a costume and go out trick or treating. That time was way past him and he couldn't remember why and how the hell he was able to trust getting candy from strangers. Frankly that whole aspect of Halloween seemed so hypocritical!

Every other time of the year we’re told to not take candy from strangers. Never ever once were we allowed to take candy from them. But on this specific day? Sure! Go right ahead. Infact, take candy from MULTIPLE strangers!! Nothing could go wrong with that.

The countless reports of needles being stuck in licorice and suckers already being sucked in told a different story.

And the fucking  k i d s. They were so annoying. Screaming and running after each other. Throwing a fit when they didn't get the kind of candy they want or when their siblings got one extra piece. The snot and tears. It was so gross.

That part of Halloween, Bakugou said fuck off to.

However the scaring? And the terrified faces? That's something he could look forward to. 

Seeing the look of horror Pikachu got when he prayed on one of his fears was so exciting. The heightened anxiety in the Yuuei hallways made for some easy targets to make scream and run away.

That, is why Bakugou liked Halloween. 

“Yo Bakubro, we’re gonna head out and get our costumes. You wanna come with?” Kirishima barged into his room, flicking on the light.

“Fuck no.” Bakugou cursed. The sudden brightness was stinging his eyes, the red irises struggling to adjust to sudden change. “I already told you last week you dumbass, I don’t do trick or treating.”

Kirishima's shoulders visibly went limp, a pout occupying his lips. “Come on man, it’ll be fun. You even get to scare some little kids.”

“I can do that without the help of a costume. Now get out.”

He huffed. “If you say so, man. We’ll be back later! See ya.” And with that Bakugou's door shut with a click, the lights left on.

The blond cursed the redhead under his breath. Why was it so hard to shut off the light when they leave! He has it off every single time they open the door, so why not shut it off again when they leave!?

Bakugou got up to shut the light off, but stopped in his tracks when he noticed a letter on his neat floor. When did that get there? Did shitty-hair leave it there when he left?

It was a pretty white envelope with a splotch of red to the left of the center. As he got closer he read his name in very intricate cursive. Had it not been for the date in a nice fine print, and the fact that he didn't like anyone and fully expected no one to like him back, in the upper corner he would have assumed this was an old valentines letter.

He picked it up. What the fuck was this doing here? The handwriting was very obviously not Shittyhairs. His was too rough and sharp to ever resemble something like this. 

“10-1-xxxx <3 Bakugou”

Hesitantly, he turned it around and found a wax seal on the back. A simple circle, nothing more.

The letter was ripped open, the wax seal completely forgotten. If the letter inside got ripped, that wasn’t his problem. Unfortunately, the letter went completely unscathed.

He took it out and unfolded it, careful to hold it horizontally in case this was a prank gift from one of the dunces that called him his friend, but there was no such thing. Infact, the letter seemed virtually empty except for right smack dab in the middle. A small word written in what seemed to be a font designed to replicate human writing.

“Hi”

Bakugou's eyebrows crinkled. That's it? He turned the paper over, flipped it back, then turned it over once more. Nothing.

“Such a waste of fucking paper.” He muttered, crushing the note within his palm and lit off his explosions, a caramel scent wafting through the air and black smoke trailing along with it.

He threw what was left of it into his trash, dusted it off his hands, and flicked the lights back off.

Whoever wrote that letter had a pretty terrible sense of humor

~~~~~

October Second

Bakugou woke up the next morning like usual. Stretch, pop his joints and spark a few explosions, then sit up and get ready for school. The letter from yesterday lingered in the back of his mind, still annoyed that someone thought something like that would even be considered funny.

How the hell just writes a tiny Hi on a whole sheet of paper. Its such a fucking waste! It was irritating him more than anything.

That's why when he got a second letter this morning, also slid underneath his door, he just threw it on his bed to be dealt with later. He didn’t need to get any more pissed off about something before going to school and getting pissed off even more. No, that can wait till after he got his homework done.

And it did wait. During the day he completely forgot about the existence of the letter. Going to classes, almost blowing Dekus face off in training, shouting at the group that seemed to be stuck to his thighs, going to more classes. Completely normal.

But when he got home and locked himself in his room to do homework and calm down, he saw the letter on his bed and immediately became pissed again.

He marched on over to it and picked it, opening it in the same fashion he did yesterday and again, the letter managed to come out unscathed.

He opened the paper, preparing to see another waste of paper. Unfortunately the universe was granting his wishes, but not to the extent he was thinking.

This time, there was a sentence, a sentence that made his heart stop for a second. 

“You have lovely skin.”

What. The actual. Fuck.

Who the hell is this? Why are they talking about his skin? How do they know anything about his skin?

Subconsciously his eyes darted around him. Everything looked the exact same. He looked behind him, no one was there. But there was a nagging feeling in the middle of his back, like someone was staring there no matter where he turned.

Fuck this.

His eyes glided toward the balcony. The curtain were wide open. But they were facing the 1-B building. No one could be watching him…

The curtains were closed in a matter of seconds.

~~~~~

October Seventh

The letters kept coming. Every day they got creepier. Complimenting a feature about him and details this person would only know if they got close to him.

He was losing sleep. His eight hour nights shortening rapidly to only around four hours and it wasn't consecutive. 

Yesterday he became so sick of it he grabbed the five letters he had received, first still burnt in his trash can, and stomped down to the lounge room, confronting them of the letters asking whoever it was that was sending them to step the fuck up.

No one had any idea what he was talking about. 

He attacked all the girls first, not physically no, but yelling at them to confess who done it. No dude in their class would have this good of handwriting other than that belly button laser guy.

But he had no idea later, saying Bakugou was not exactly his type, which he got a yelling for as well.

Todays letter… wasnt any better than the last.

"This is almost as much fun as watching you sleep."

He held the latter in his hand, not noticing the grip slowly getting tighter and tighter, and suddenly the ends were crinkled and charred, the only thing left was a single word.

Fun.

~~~~~

October Fifteenth

Bakugou finally cracked and told the teachers about the letters. To say they overreacted was,,, actually just about right.

There were now teachers stationed on top of the buildings, around the perimeter, and on Bakugous floor.

He hated to admit it but having a few pro heroes there eased his edge a little. A felt safer. Safer than he had in the last two weeks.

But unfortunately, that wasnt enough.

For in the middle of the night, to his absolute horror, the rustling of paper was heard across his room.

His body went cold. Eyes wide as all hell. He used his feet to curl all his blanket away from the edges of his bed and under his legs and over his body. 

'Please,' his mind pleaded. 'Please fucking tell me thats not another letter.'

And to his absolute horror, when he sat up, just a little bit… there, visible in the light shining under the crack of his door, was a letter, with the same red heart and perfect cursive handwriting that spelled out his name.

"Please dont scream, they'll hear you"

~~~~~

October Twenty-sixth

Its been a few days since hes gone out of his room. The pros thought hed feel safer in his room where they could keep an eye on him but in reality.

Bakugou didnt feel safe at all.

Everywhere he went his anxiety told him someone was there. With beady eyes that went unblinking just… staring at him. Like he was a slab of meat for a hungry starving lion.

But he wasnt allowed to complain, even though he did, and was expected to remain still. 

He was expected to wait.

Wait.

And wait.

He didn't want to wait. He didn't want to be here anymore.

He was behind on his classes, but he couldn't focus long enough on the work to get it done anyway.

He had nothing else to distract him. Hes read through all his books, played all his games, watched all his movies. There was nothing else to do other than wait like a sitting duck.

So what the hell was he supposed to do?

And while he had his door shut, he finally broke down, tears streaming down his face and fear coursing through his veins as he knew, by the sound of paper sliding under his door, that he wasnt safe anywhere anymore.

"Dont struggle, I hate when they struggle"

~~~~~

October 31st. Halloween Night

Halloween...

Halloween. Bakugou hated Halloween.

He hated Halloween. He hated being scared. Scared all the time. 

He couldnt handle the sound of paper anymore. Not the sound of it wrinkling, folding, unfolding, ripping, he hated paper.

All kinds of paper.

Wrappers, notebook, printer.

It was all terrible.

And now… he can't even handle unwrapping his own candy.

Bakugou hated Halloween.

And has another letter slid under his door, now in direct daylight, and got up and looked at it.

The cursive was now just scratches. The heart too dark to be artificial. 

He opened it, slipping the paper out and reading the note. One word. Tiny in the middle of the paper, resembling the first ever note he got. One word.

'Bye…'

However, this time, when he turned the note over, he found something else. Another word- no, a sentence.

'Till next year… Bakugou Katsuki.'

And just like that, his body ran cold, and his vision went dark.

[ljandersen]

Author Interview

Thank you for tagging me @painterofhorizons  @rpgwarrior4824  @ripley95things   This looked familiar.  When I looked back, I realized I had done this meme before, but I realized a lot has changed.  Instead of reblogging, I decided to do an update.

I know some of you may have already done this meme, but I’ll go ahead and tag:  @pigeontheoneandonly  @spook-queen  @maxrev  @swaps55  @soldiermom1973  @salamanders-please  @ooachilliaoo  @citadelsushi  @that-wasnt-so-bad  @aricazorel  @pushingsian  @shotce @forlornmelody  @serioussamiam  @xenowriter  and anyone else who wants to play.  No obligation, of course.  If anyone follows me who would enjoy being tagged in these games, just let me know.  I’ll add you in the future.  Likewise, if someone would rather I didn’t continue tagging them games, let me know that too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Name:  LJAndersen

Fandoms:  Mass Effect Trilogy

Where You Post: AO3 and FFN  (I’m not planning to post on FFN in the future.  The decision is multi-factorial -- low traffic, security issues, and disapproval of their business philosophy)

Most Popular One-Shot:  The Favorite  It’s a Garrus/femShep and Wrex/femShep love triangle one shot set during ME-1 (humorous rivalry and grudging friendship).  I wrote it for the 2019 Christmas gift exchange.  Naturally, since it’s (slightly) Shakarian, it has the best stats. 

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:  “About Mars . . .”  It’s my ME-3 fShenko story that fills in gaps.  I explore Shepard and Kaidan's reconciliation and how Tali and Garrus got together.  It’s a lot of crew antics: the space hamster escaping, Christmas gift exchange, matchmaking trickery, drunk poker celebration, raiding the mess at night.  It’s fun and fluffy with a touch of angst and bittersweetness.  When it comes to why it’s the most popular, it’s a combination I think.  It’s the last thing I posted and readership is probably highest on the last thing a writer posts, if they post consistently.  It’s the longest story I’ve post chapter by chapter giving it more search air time.  It’s fluffy/slight angsty and relationship-centered, which is probably more in line with what the average fanfic reader is looking to read (vs. something plot-heavy and involved).

Favorite Story You Wrote: “Burning Barriers”  It’s my fShenko ME epic set post-war, action/adventure romance with some mystery and suspense thrown in.  It’s actually three novel-length stories bound together: Shepard’s first mission aboard the Normandy after defeating the reapers, retrieving an artifact to restore the Sol relay.  Kaidan’s Spectre investigation into what happened to Shepard on the Normandy and confronting his ghosts on Jump Zero.  The last part is Kaidan and Shepard’s POV overlapping.  It’s a joint Spectre investigation, sparked from what they learned in other parts, and their efforts to stop a catastrophic attack targeting the Council in Vancouver.  It’s my favorite story, since it has an original plot, and I had freedom to stretch and explore the characters past canon.

Story You Were Nervous to Post:  I haven’t been nervous posting my stories beyond the fear of hearing silence.  There have been chapters or subplot directions where I wasn’t sure of the readers’ reactions.  For a story as a whole, though, I haven’t been especially anxious, at least, not about living up to a standard or receiving hate for my story. What makes me anxious when posting is what makes all writers anxious.  We all worry our hard work will be lost in the void.  No one will read it.  We won’t get feedback.  I get anxious I’m wasting my time on something that won’t matter to anyone but me.

How You Choose Your Titles:  I don’t have a method or a pattern.  It’s what fits the story.  Sometimes it pops out, an obvious phrase, and sometimes it’s a labor in discarding and narrowing ideas.  Honestly, I don’t think any of my titles are particularly spectacular.  

Complete:  Six completed stories posted (2 one-shots and 4 multichapter fics)

Incomplete:  None that are posted.  My long-term WIP, “Someplace Like Home,” is in the second-draft stage. I don’t post until I’ve finished a story and edited it.

Do You Outline?  No.  I know the ending of my story and I know the beats I want to hit along the way, but I’m more of a discovery writer.  I make up as I go how the points connect.  It feels more organic and surprising.  When I’ve tried outlining a story, it becomes mechanical and joyless.  Since I do intensive editing after the first draft, I can fix the mistakes I create in discovering the story as I write it.  After the first draft is written, I can streamline, reshape, and trim the story into something more polished.

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:  I have a few one-shot ideas, even one I’ve started, but my main push is to get my long project to a point of posting.  “Someplace Like Home” took a year and a half to write, and I’m finally in the second draft stage.  Since it’s such a large piece, I’m planning on breaking the story into parts.  I’m focusing on completing a second draft of part 1, then I’ll do a third draft and start posting it.  While posting part 1, I can work on the second and third draft of the next section.  It’s been a long effort to get it this far, and it will feel kind of surreal to have a part of it finished.

Do You Accept Prompts?  I had a reader say she’d enjoy seeing my take on Horizon and Mars, which actually led me to write my multichapter fics “About Horizon . . .” and “About Mars . . .”  It was a nice break from writing my plot-heavy main WIP.  I’d never considered writing anything set in-game, because it felt too restrictive and redundant for how I like to write.  From that reader’s encouragement, though, I actually ended up writing something I never would have considered writing before.  That’s the closest I’ve come to receiving a prompt.  I would eagerly accept them, of course, and be flattered.  I couldn’t promise I’d do them right now.  I have a lot of emphasis in my larger project right now.

Most Excited to Write:  Though the first draft of “Someplace Like Home” is written, I’m excited to write the second draft.  Since I know the whole story as whole now, it’s fun to flesh out the second draft, add more foreshadowing and create some irony.  It’s been fun rereading my story as I do the second draft.  The third draft, though, which is less broad in scope, more paragraph/sentence level will be like pulling teeth.  I love to tell a story, but I hate nitpicking the way it’s told.  It’s an important focus of editing, though, and certainly an area where I need the most work.

[violet-author]

Your Wallet And Your Heart, She Has Both ((18+))

This fic is the product of over a weeks worth of work, as compared to my usual stuff that only takes a few hours or so, I think it may be my longest fic yet. Inspired by the Author of the Spinel Fic titled “Yearning” ((Read it here! )) And to anyone questioning what Spinel actually IS in this fic, I don’t even know myself. Spookier that way. Warnings: Death, Yandere, Stalking, Discussion Of Domestic Abuse, Light Horror, Cake

“Nevah had a reason ‘til tonight, to chase a fella down, then I looked at you leaving the hotel, so I followed. Cause I just had to know… who was that othah chick you were with? They seemed pretty miffed when ya left yer room, you dropped ya key on the way too so… I had another reason to follow you… and the third… I guess I just like ya face. Cute like a doll It… spoke to me, if that makes any sense…”, she stops to take a sip of her drink, “I’m surprised you didn’t notice me, what with the pink hair an’ all, so uh… I’m Spinel.”

Another sip of her drink, and a gentle chuckle as she looked down into her glass, “Don’t worry about tellin me yer name. I already know it.”, she held ip your wallet, and slid it back to you, “again honey, don’t worry. All your money is safe and sound where you left it. I’m not a thief, well, maybe I am… but… I don’t like stealin from pretty people like you, and ah… I got reasons to follow ya… I won’t be too far if ya evah need me for anythin, and I mean that, anything.”, she finished her drink and stood up, she pushed you down into your chair when you tried to follow, she put down some cash to pay for the drinks too. “No pal, I follow you, you don’t get to follow me ok? And ah… check you wallet. Left a present.”, and so… she left the bar. You check your wallet, her phone number was written on a piece of paper neatly tucked inside… along with 300 extra dollars. You feel as if she’s special to you already. A new best friend… You head back to your hotel room and pack your things, you’re breaking up with the beast of a person you were with… true love’s on its way, and so are you. Getting into your car… Lightning strikes behind you, the outline of her in your back seat… you check… no one there, you turn on the radio… just static… you drive off anyways. You want to call her as soon as you get home. “I just couldn’t leave em alone now could I? But… One look at em while I sat on the balcony next to their window the first night they were here… and I just finished offin my now late boyfriend too, kinda glad I wear these gloves all the time too… who am I talkin to? Oh yeah, me. So anyways… I just had to meet em… not like they had a choice… I covered my tracks pretty well and kept the ‘do not disturb’ sign up on the door with a sock on the knob… staff musta thought we was bein reeeeal quiet with the lovemakin… Hmm… what did he even do for me to waste one o’ my favorite butterflies in the back o’ his heart… oh yeaaaah… caught him smoochin some other broad in the same bar I found my new lovie dovie… hehe place o’ fate I tell ya, who? Me!”, she laughed at her little half joke…“Anyways… so now they’re in their house and I’m just sittin here in the backseat of their car, planning my next move… who knows, maybe ah… maybe I’ll marry this one… or are they gonna be number 12… I hope not… that face of theirs… oof… nevah seen a prettier picture, would look even bettah with plenty of my lipstick marks all over their cheeks…. damn I wish I could gotten out with em buuuut…. people freak out when someone they just met is suddenly on their car… looks like I got a long night… bettah get some sleep too… gotta be well rested for our dare tomorrow… not that they have a choice, it’s their neck on the line aftah all… but they don’t know that yet… they will. I’ll make sure of it.” Later on in the day, Spinel knocks on your door “Ok so uh, well I got outta your car and I locked it like a good girl, cause I know I am one, I knocked on your door hopin for a chance to see ya again and it’s real cold out here, so let me in ok?”, said Spinel after you opened your front door. Shocking it were to see her, to know she was hiding in your car the whole time… you figure she’d break into your home if you denied her now, so you let her in. She walked past you with a tired looking smile, and you took in the sight of her, pink hair in a pair long pony tails, long sleeve black shirt, form fitting with a black tank top adorned with a pink skull having a heart shaped crack on the forehead, a dark pink skirt looking stylishly tattered, and stockings stripped with pink and black, with a pair of thrice belted heavy looking knee height heeled boots, by all accounts… she should be noticed anywhere. You noticed her footsteps don’t make a sound… and you ask why.“Uuuh, I dunno either I just… step lightly? Kind of a wiiiierd question to ask babe, why don'tcha let me handle the questions ok? Number one, who was that bitch you were with? Number two, do ya live alone?”, You sigh and respond, she is your ex-girlfriend, you broke up with her a few hours ago. And you reluctantly say yes, you do live alone. “Hmmm great! Guess you’re all mine then!” You ask what she means “What do ya think it means pal? Means I’m your girlfriend! Ain’t ya happy for that? I mean… look at me? The cute skirt, the thick legs, my adorable face,  plenty of hair for ya to pull, you’d be stupid to reject me, and you look pretty smart to me hun, so say yes. Say I’m yours”, her expression hardened, “Say it. 'Spinel, you’re mine’, I want to hear it straight from those pretty lips.You hold yourself silent for a few seconds… and relent, you guess you need to be with someone… you can’t imagine being alone again… you say what she asked you to say, suddenly you feel a prick on your finger, it starts to bleed pretty badly, she holds your hand up and licks the blood away with a teasing giggle in her throat. "There, all better, now you’re stuck with me, I don’t leave you and you don’t leave me, got it hun?” You feel clawed hands crawling on your back… you don’t remember what happened next. You wake up next to Spinel. Trying to understand what just happened… you fail miserably. “M, m, mmm… last night was fun buuuut… I didn’t get to go as far as I wanted, they passed out before I could actually do anything, guess lettin em feel that clawin fear mighta been too much for em to handle. Still, maybe I oughta hold off on doin anythin freaky. They don’t seem like the lewd type anyways… heh, but the look on their face, if I wasnt already in love with em I woulda fallen for em right then and there, oh gosh their eyes were practically burning in terror! And the way their mouth hung open like they were aboutta scream, ooh that was bliss… hm, oh? Looks like they forgot somethin. They were sure scramblin outta bed when they woke up… hmmm., now that I think about it… oh. Oh no. No no no no… nobody rushes that fast at 5 in the mornin…”You were at work, a boring office job, but your coworkers kept to themselves, so you had no issues most of the time. But today, they put in a little pink palm tree in your cubicle, you nearly fell over on sight of it, thinking it was Spinel. You held your heart, feeling the thumping flesh within pounding a beat you could almost dance to, with a nervous chuckle you cover it with the seat cover on your chair and get straight to work. You pushed away every thought of her that you could, focusing solely on your work, typing code and responses, sending reports, the kind of mind numbing work your brain can just check out from. As you dozed off by little degrees your fingers quickened… until it was four hours later, and you realized you finished everything early, gleefully you hop from your chair, with plans to go down to your favorite café for a treat, do you head into the bathroom, change clothes, and head to your car. And you freeze. The night before the last the lightning struck and you saw her shadow in your car… and then she appeared at your house the next day. You remember that very well. So you make a point of checking every inch of your car as thoroughly as you can, the back seat, the front, the trunk, under the car as the wheels on yours put it a foot and a half off the ground… and curiously you check in both small compartments in the front of the car, you haven’t the slightest idea why, you just had to be sure she wasn’t hiding anywhere. With the check complete, you carefully got inside your car and drove off to taste some sweetness. You park, get out, check your car once more, then lock everything that could be locked on it before heading inside. The dimly lit room spoke of serenity as piano played to some slow classical tune from speakers overhead, the sound of rain played softly along with low thunder rolling away to add to the calming aura of this revered area, revered by you at least, here you felt the safest you could be outside your own home, but with her… you felt this was you last bastion of comfort. And you were already reconsidering staying with her. But those thoughts had no place here, you looked over the menu, burying your gaze in it completely and said to yourself you’d have a pumpkin cake and hot chocolate. Your heart beat swift on feeling a familiar voice rattle through your skull. “And how are ya gonna pay for that babe?”, Spinel said in an agitated tone while waving your wallet in one hand while she supported her head on the table with the other. She stared you down, her expression? Wrath. Directed all on you. You froze under her glare, speechless. “5 in the morning. Who rushes out of the house at five in the morning? Were you late for work? Or… did you just wanna get away from me? Didn’t even give me a kiss to say goodbye, didn’t check if I was awake, didn’t even offer breakfast. What kind of a lover are you huh? Hmph… doesn’t matter now. You’re gonna make it up to me, ok?”, she slammed the wallet on the table, “I’ll have what you’re having, and after this you’re takin me to see a movie, got it? Maybe more time in a dark room with me’ll teach ya to appreciate me more, little reminder honey, I came to you, and you said yes, so start acting like you want me.” The dim cafe grew silent with your focus narrowing on her, and all you heard was your heart beating steady as the booming tick of the clock sounded off every second to the unerring passage of time. And she stared. She stared and waited for an answer. the lightless void casted by failing shine seemed to grow ever deeper, surrounding you both and trapping you with her in an infinite darkness, such was her chokingly gripped presence around you, her small stature exuded energies unheard, and you swore you could see the inky tendrils of the depths emanating from her, a being incomprehensible to mortal ken. Her truest nature forever concealed as this negative glare only gave the hollow shell of what she really is, shaded by the limits of your mind. You stared into those eyes, a lover scorned she felt she were, and your silence only confirmed and fed the flowing madness slithering from her…Each ticking clang of the clock sounded closer to your demise, here and now. Speech had found you once more to snatch you from the jaws of Cerberus. You apologize. You tell her an excuse along with it, or rather, attempt to before she cuts you off.  “Oh you’re sorry now? Well how sorry are ya honey? Sorry enough to get me all the deserts I want? Sorry enough to take me out dancing? Sorry enough to… propose to me?” That last question ended with a grin as wide as her mystery, and as the darkness surrounding you both. You’re left speechless, blushing through the shock and scrambling in your mind for an answer when she takes the reigns of the conversation once more. “Ok that last one maaaay have been a bit too far, I mean… we’ve only been datin a few days now, and to be honest, while I ain’t lettin another girl even touch you, I’m not too sure I wanna spend the rest of your life on me! And I do mean that. Mean what? darlin ain’t ya listening? The rest of your life, not my life. I get the feelin I’ll still be around when you’re gone… but uuuh… I’ll enjoy every moment you’re alive. Oop! Changed my mind, Your life’s mine, the rest of you too, and ain’t nothin you can do about that ok? Nope, not gonna wait for an answer. Way I see it… we’re already a married couple, I mean… you did sign me in blood and all. But let’s drop this discussion and pick it up never, the waitress is comin ovah to take our ordahs!"And in a single moment as if on the flick of a switch, even the dim light of the cafe blinded you with the darkness disappearing behind the curtain of reality, though what reality even is you scarcely have a grasp on with the realizations of otherworldly powers that exist in front of you in the form of Spinel. You check the backlit clock on the wall, time had stayed still as the darkness enveloped you, and you laid back in your chair while trying to make sense of what just happened, what felt like hours was no time at all, but interrupted you were again by the waitress, asking what you wanted to order. Spinel only had a smile on her face while you placed the order, she held up the menu you had and pointed to a large vanilla cake topped with fudge and strawberries, did what she said in the darkness even happen? Either way, you order that cake for her, in addition to getting for her and yourself a hot chocolate and a pumpkin cake. You’re looking at the waitress as she write down the orders, and as she walks off as well, and a pulse is felt, a ringing in your ears deep as ocean, and a foul taste in your mouth as you look back at her, a closed smile on her lips, but her eyes wider than ever. "Does she look good to ya honey? Does she tickle your fancy?” You immediately reply in a nervous tone that she doesn’t. that he girl in front of you is prettier than she’ll ever be. “Good answer babe, she’s a fuckin mess compared to me, right? O’ course I’m right!” The confections both drink and dessert were served to the both of you, a second person coming to drop of the cake, it was big enough for three, but she parried your spoon away from it, claiming the whole thing hers. So the spectacle began, Her sipping the cocoa in her tall cup alongside heavy bites of this behemoth straight from a baker’s dream. It took her a mere half hour to consume the whole of it, and like a good lover you lean over with a napkin and wipe the frosting from her lips, a shy smile as your expression, your simple actions sparking a tender moment through the confusion and creeping terror in the back of your mind, and that moment was watching her cheeks flush a gorgeously vibrant shade of pink, and in that instant, everything seemed to click. She was just as nervous around you as you were around her, without the upper hand the air of danger just faded away to the dullest rhythm in the background, until her hand snapped to grip your wrist.  “Oh now I know I made the right choice… my last love ain’t never did something like this, would you believe I caught the bastard cheating on me with some tart, some junky trollop? You wouldn’t do that to me right? No… I know you wouldn’t, you’re sweet. You just want a hug, a kiss, and a kind little word whispered into your ear, yeah? You just want someone who wants you, someone that won’t make you feel like you’re just another problem to deal with. Someone like me, who won’t let you go. Who’ll never let you go. Someone like me that’ll keep loving you 'til…“, She inched in closer, "You’re…”, and her lips brushed by your ear… “Dead."  Stunned by that she shoved you back down into your seat. "What’s wrong babe? Don’t like that? Oh… you do? Well aren’t you starved for affectio- oh… So that’s why you were with the girl with the bad attitude… You know I… I watched you when you checked into the hotel, a whole week of seeing her yell at you… sayin stuff like no one would love you like her, that you were lucky she even looked at you.” She sniffled, sounding on the cusp of a rising weeping sorrow, “But it’s ok now honey. It’ll be ok, cause you have me!”, she sighed, a sort of content flow to her breath, while she relaxed in her chair, “And I have you. Were you scared of me before? I’m not sorry for that. That’s just how I am, but I won’t hurt you. Not enough to kill ya anyways. Not enough to make you hate me. I don’t think my heart could take another crack. Darling… If you left me now. I think I’d just break. We kinda just met and already I don’t think I can live without you. You can feel it too right? Our souls tyin themselves to each other? Actually ah… they’re already pretty tied up. Signed me in blood remember?” You certainly do remember, that night your finger bled and the claws creeped upon you, you remember that much and nothing more, how you felt then feels so far away now, her love is different, it’s a confusing amalgam of tenderness and terror, when once you only felt a terror from the last one you were with, but even the fear strikes you oddly, like a sickening wine who’s taste leaves you only wanting another drink of it, a long and slow swig of the emotions she has you pour from your very core, reveling in the swirling dizzy tones of this deep song she played for you with every motion she made toward, away, and around you, with every word spoken, she enthralls you. The same feeling you had when you wanted to call her, a soul bewitched by a strange woman… and whatever trance she had you in just now from her confession, lifted when you snapped back to lucidity at home.  Herself snuggled up on your lap, a horror movie playing while she smiled, your hand in hers, clutching each other warmly… a moment that your realization of the sudden shift in scenery did not ruin… she was in love, and so were you, and while love itself seems blind, love itself would blind you, and you would let it cloud your vision as long as you loved her, and as long as she loved you. This one tender moment, It’ll remain one of your greatest treasures, and as the movie ended, she sat up and stood, offering her hand to you, eyes sleepy and showing a soft joy plain as day, she led you upstairs, she led you to bed, shoes kicked off the both of you, she eased you into bed atop her, and held you close, tight, and the covers seemed to jump over you both to guard from the chill mysteriously entering the room, you closed your eyes while the pair of you turned onto your sides, and a kiss marked the occasion, brief it were on the lips, but the love? Eternal. And so it were that you slept in her arms and her in yours. Ready to give her the rest of your life. Ready to give her your very soul. and in all honesty, she already owns it.

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

Sole Ender AU Its the Little Things

It's the little things that made Ryan feel safe with the Fakes. Like how Gavin and Michael always walk on his right side, never his left, so he can always see them. It's how Geoff makes sure that any Heists outdoors are occurring when it doesnt rain. It's how Jack always has an extra umbrella or Eye Patch for him. How Jeremy and Lindsay make sure to never make direct eye contact. Jeremy looks at his mouth, Lindsay watches anywhere and everywhere else.

Those little things always made Ryan feel welcome. Even after they found out about the experiments, the Lab, the Eye. But still, something felt missing, Ryan could never put his finger on it. But he felt, lost still. He didnt realize the Emptiness was caused by something so simple until one night while playing Trivial Pursuit.

"Authors last names? Fuck that! Every last bastard whose ever written a book has a weird ass last name! They could be Hilda Sasquatch or some shit!" Jeremy shouted. Jack laughed and Gavin snorted.

"Jeremy, you wrote a book." Michael reminded him.

"Well Dooley is a funny last name!" Gavin pointed out as Jeremy growled and slapped the Brit on the back of his head.

"Yeah, like Free is any better!" Jack was losing it in the background as the Lads began to bicker and wrestle. Ryan's nose scrunched as his chest tightened and the empty feeling began again.

"What's with the face Rye?" Geoff asked breaking Ryan's stare. His left eye was covered with a glittering purple and blue eye patch Gavin had made out of his Sparkles. It was a fine gift, one that Ryan treasured.

"Its, it's nothing really." Ryan insisted a bit hesitantly. Geoff shook his head.

"Suuuuuurrrre, it's really nothing." Geoff drawled sarcastically. Ryan rolled his eye.

"Your like a security camera." Ryan muttered. "You keep digging and digging."

"Yeah that's not weird at all." Geoff sighed. "But fine, I'll stop. Just remember you Can talk to us."

"I... I know Geoff." Ryan muttered as the fight before them settled. "Just. Not now?"

Geoff nodded and they all turned back to the game. Ryan hoped that he could bury that empty feeling and never touch it again.

It was just a Last Name after all.

Turns out Ryan couldnt avoid the feeling for long. It was another game night a few weeks later. Jack and Geoff were out with Gavin, so Michael, Jeremy and Lindsay insisted Ryan joined them for Mario Party.

"Right so what's got you so fucked?" Michael asked never looking away from the mini game on the screen.

"Oh elegantly put Jones." Jeremy teased. Michael knocked into Jeremy who went tumbling away and Ryan felt the hole in his chest open again.

"I dont know what you mean." Ryan said as Lindsay pressed into him.

"Bullshit you keep wincing at random! Your eye bugging you?" Lindsay asked this time. Ryan shook his head, he felt stupid he just wanted these people to stop caring so much!

"We arent going to stop caring dipshit that isnt how this works." Jeremy said. Great, Ryan thought, he said that out loud.

"Yeah! We're a crew and shit we ain't gonna not care! Somethings bugging you and we want to help!" Lindsay declared throwing her arms around Ryan and pulling him into a hug.

Ryan tensed then mumbled.

"Sorry what was that?" Michael smirked. "Cant hear you through Lindsay dude."

"I dont have a fucking last name alright? It's a small stupid thing but it drives me nuts! I feel even less human!" Ryan shouted, pushing away from Lindsay. Michael and Lindsay began to laugh.

"Dude chill. It's just a name it doesnt mean shit!" Michael wheezed.

"Yeah dude. No need to get your panties in a twist over it." Lindsay added. Ryan growled and silently rose to his feet.

"Ryan?" Jeremy started but with a Vwoop, Ryan teleported away leaving the three others behind. In a cloud of dull sparkles.

Ryan could teleport pretty far. The farthest he ever went in one go was 20 miles. But now he didnt want to go far, just hide. And what better place to hide than one of the safe houses?

It was a small apartment closer to the suburbs of Los Santos, it was nice, if small. It was usually reserved for when someone was on a solo mission and needed to lie low, which meant that Ryan was there most. So he got to decorate.

Back at the Labs he never got to make any space his own. Everything was sterile and empty. He hated to remember the open space and clean white walls and the smell of bleach and chemicals.

Which was why this space was filled with stuff. Sure it was tidy, nothing was rotten or moldy, but Ryan used every space available. If the floor didnt have a rug there was a table or chair. If the tables didn't have Flowers, TVs, knickknacks or something on it there was usually a cup of Diet Coke. It was filled to the brim with bright plants, paintings, photos you name it.

Ryan plopped down on the couch feeling stupid. Why was he so hung up on a name? He had given himself the name Ryan sure, why not a last name?

Ryan knew why, and as that thought rose up he pushed it away. He didnt want any memories of the Labs in his head right now. Now he wanted to just sleep, he wanted to feel less... less stupid and childish.

So Ryan went off to the bedroom and buried himself deep under the covers, like he used to, and blocked out the rest of the world.

Ryan was 13 again and he sat on his cot, swinging his legs absently.

"Why dont I get one?" He heard himself ask. "Why am I only a number?"

"Names are given by family to people. You have no family and you are no longer human. You are far better than that." One of the blurred figures said. The second scoffed.

"Better? It cant even run the most basic excersise without failing ten times. Its isnt anything but a waste." Ryan couldnhear the sneer in the figure's voice as pain shot through every nerve on his body. "Failure doesnt get you a name of any kind. You are a tool, and a broken one at that. Dont forget that."

Ryan woke up with a start. Turning to the clock Ryan cursed. 3 am. He wasnt going back to sleep. Again.

Getting to his feet Ryan didnt bother to change into fresh clothes. He had slept in his jeans why not just use them again? But he grabbed a jacket and went out into the night.

Mount Chilliad loomed in the distance as Ryan walked the dark streets of Los Santos. He could have teleported where he wanted to go, or even driven. But he didnt want to. Walking felt better, it gave agency, he decided where his feet went, no one else.

"Oh Thank Fuck! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ryan jumped, ready to fight and run from the handlers. When recognition snapped his mind from bad memories.

Standing before him was Jeremy, holding a tiny wiggling bundle of fur. A cat from what Ryan could tell. Jeremy smiled nervously, but relief was evident in the smaller man's eyes.

"Look, uh. Fuck I suck at this shit. Let's go inside yeah? We are near a place I own. Come on." Jeremy ushered Ryan towards a nearby apartment building. Ryan followed wordlessly, but obediently. At the door Jeremy hopped around a little.

"Keys, keys. Uh Hey Rye mind.holding him for a sec?" Jeremy then thrust the cat into Ryan's hands who finally got a good look at the little fur ball.

They were a tiny black kitten, fuzzy and wiggling furiously. What stood out the most was that it was missing a front leg.

The door clicked as.Ryan made eye contact with the little kitten. His chest tightened and his mind whirled as he looked into the kittens little eyes. Then it looked at Ryan's jacket and started burrowing into one of the interior pockets. Ryan felt a purr resonating out of the tiny cat from in his jacket and through his ribs. His chest began to unclench and suddenly he was.aware he was inside a studio apartment.

There were art supplies everywhere. Everything from Yarn and Knitting needles, to paints and canvases to wood sculptures, and musical instruments were strewn about. Jeremy hopped around the room over to a ragged old bed, kicking off his shoes as he went.

"Well, make yourself at home. Dont mind the mess things just get thrown around alot." Jeremy said sheepishly. Ryan picked his way through the room, his eye moving around and soaking up all the little pieces. The space felt lived in not just visited like the safe houses.

"Is this a safe house?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the bed. Jeremy shook his head.

"Nah. It's my apartment. Before I joined the Fakes I lived here. Still try to come back, sometimes you just need your own place you know?" Jeremy explained. There was a tense silence for a few minutes then Jeremy spoke.

"Michael and Lindsay were being a bitch." Ryan tensed ready to run. "No please just, hear me out?"

Ryan froze, suddenly aware he had gotten up to leave. Jeremy had his arm, and the Kitten purred even louder than before. Ryan sank back onto the bed.

"Look. I dont know what your life was like before you joined us but it obviously wasnt even a little bit good. Actually it sounds like it was fucking awful." Ryan laughed dryly.

"That's putting it lightly."

"Yeah no shit. But it's not stupid to feel shit." A pause. " If not having a Last name bugs you why dont you give yourself one?"

"Its not..."

"Not that simple yeah?" Jeremy finished Ryan nodded as the kitten crawled out on Ryan's lap.

"Alright, well. Do you think you can tell me why?" Jeremy asked. Ryan thought, eye down on the kitten as the little guy curled up on his lap without a care.

"Its not the same. It belongs to a family. I cant be a family of one." Ryan insisted and Jeremy shook his head.

"Ok two things. One. Thats a load of horseshit and who ever told you that was dumb as fuck. And two. There is more to it isnt there?" Ryan stayed silent. Running his fingers through the Kitten's fur. Jeremy began to whisper. "You're human, Rye. Just cause someone says you arent doesnt make it true. I know that one."

Ryan froze he didnt expect anyone to pick up on that. The whole Not human but was always somewhere in the back of his mind, eating at him. Jeremy wrapped himself around Ryan hugging him tightly. Ryan shook as he melted into the other man's touch, a few tears spilling out.

"You know. My family abandoned me when I was a teenager. Said I was a monster just cause I kissed both guys and girls. Not exactly dubious experiments but it is dehumanizing all the same. I kept my last name though. I did it as a big old fuck you to them. They died during one of the Fake's heists. Got to watch then burn myself. But the name never connected me to them, a name connects you to who ever you want it to." Jeremy was quiet as he spoke, his voice against Ryan's skin as he pressed into Ryan's neck.

Something was bubbling in his brain, but Ryan had no idea what it was. And right now was not the time to figure that out.

A small Meow pulled the two away from one another. The little kitten was trying to climb up Ryan's jacket between the two. As it scrambled up Jeremy laughed, and Ryan felt a chuckle escape his throat. The kitten then flung itself over Ryan's shoulder, it's one front paw kneading his shoulder blade and purring up a storm.

"I forgot this little guy was here." Jeremy said through a laugh. A pause, then Jeremy smiled softly. "Ya know, I was going to take him to the shelter. Geoff won't let me keep any animals. But I think you should take him."

"You just said-" Ryan began but Jeremy shook his head.

"I'm not allowed any animals. Geoff never said anything about you keeping a pet. And hey! Now you have another family member! You can give him a first name and a Last name of your choice!" Jeremy beamed at Ryan who smiled a little.

The sun rose as the Battle Buddies walked into the penthouse. The morning news was filling the living room, telling the story of several Petstores that had been robbed of supplies in the night.

"And what a coincidence, you both have Pet stuff." Geoff hissed as he sucked back more.coffee.

"Yeah well, Ryan's got a cat now so you gotta have toys and a litterbox to you know?" Jeremy said as he dropped a giant bag of cat food next to the kitchen Island.

"I thought I said no pets!" Geoff shouted, his voice cracking.

"Yeah but only for Jeremy." Ryan pointed out. "Abd Finnieas isnt a pet. He's family."

Geoff paused, Ryan knew the gears were turning. Geoff groaned.

"Ugh! Fine! You can keep the damn cat!" Geoff hissed. "And Finnieas? The hell kind of name is that?"

"Ih his full name is Finnieas Gavallo Haywood thank you." Ryan insisted with an air of dramatics. Jeremy giggled and kept in front of Ryan who held the kitten before him.

"A poud name Haywood! Ancient and divine! Dating all the way back to 4 hours ago!" Jeremy exclaimed. Geoff laughed.

"Alright you dolts get a move on. I'm going to text Jack and let them know you two caused the morning rukus." Geoff said. Jeremy took off down towards Ryan's room, a bag of cat toys in hand. As Ryan went to follow, Geoff got up off the couch. He placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder and gave a lop sided smile.

"Haywood's a good name. You know. I picked Ramsey myself when I built this crew. Jack took Patillo at that time to." Geoff then walked away, pulling out his cellphone and typing.

Finnieas purred as Ryan took in the unspoken message.

A name may seem like a Little Thing, but it holds importance all the same. And sometimes you need to give yourself those Little Things to heal.

[theladylovingcrow]

New Places, Friendly Faces (Sanny) Pt 1

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @theladylovingcrow - writing/art Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Sam Kiszka/Danny Wagner (Sanny), lil bit of Danny/Ronnie but he's quickly swept away with Sam

Length: about 2k

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe, Diner AU, No band AU, fluff, some angst, awkwardness, first dates, you know the ones where person A's date is failing and person B comes and sits with them, sorry i forgot what its called but that, hand holding, flirting, Sanny

Summary: Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for *weeks* to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

Author's Notes: I don't know what inspired me to do this but I'm very very happy with how it's turning out (and I've never written a longer-ish multi chapter story before, so this is interesting!) I would hate for Danny to not know the Kiszkas growing up, but hey I think I made their first meeting pretty damn cute!

Also, just FYI this is set roughly in late January of whatever year, so the twins are supposed to be 20, Ronnie is 18 I think, Danny just turned 18, and Sam is 17 (I think I did all the math right but idk) HOWEVER it wasn't until I finished that I realized I absolutely did not make their appearances congruent with what they would have looked like then.... Sam and Danny look like 2018 ish but the twins also look like their high school selves :( Idk sorry

Also, because Sam is 17, this will not be posted on Rockfic and will be marked as underage, though I'm not planning for it to get dirty

---------------

Danny had been taping his foot for the past fifteen minutes.

He usually didn't do that, it wasn't his nervous tick of non-choice, but Michelle hadn't showed up yet, and it was nearing eight.

Checking his watch, Danny watched the hand tick to 7:58 and then looked up, peering around the restaurant he was in.

Diner, he corrected himself. It was a homey, 1960's American diner, a little more exposed timbers and bear carvings than checkered tiles and jukeboxes, but that's what you got in Michigan. The building was low and sturdy, a log structure with a river rock chimney over the grills in back. Every single wall was decorated with various signed pictures of celebrities that had passed through, local newspaper articles about Gerald and Fern's Homestyle Grill, old handsaws, vintage pop signs, and a million other trinkets and posters chosen by the owners (Gerald and Fern, he assumed, though they'd probably passed on considering how old the place looked to be).

It was a nice restaurant, Danny thought; the atmosphere was welcoming and calm despite the occasional clamor from the kitchen, and the decor was very interesting to look at. Plus, the waitress that had directed him to a window booth and brought him some water was just gorgeous.

'Don't think that! You're on a date, idiot' Danny scolded himself,  shaking his head. Well, he was technically waiting for the date to start, seeing as she hadn't showed up yet. But, he still shouldn't be admiring another girl like that when his wasn't there - that would just make him an asshole.

But maybe Michelle was a little bit of an asshole because she said she'd meet him at 7 o'clock and it was now 8:06- 'Stop. It.' Danny scolded himself again, mentally smacking himself upside the head.

'Didn't your mother ever tell you to assume the best of people?' One voice asked.

'Of course!' Another Danny answered.

'Well, then, she probably got stuck in traffic, or her dog threw up in her car, or she hit a bad pothole, or her mom made her go to the store, or-'

'Okay, I get it! She probably doesn't mean to be so late,' Danny conceded, concluding the conversation he was having with himself. Maybe the waitress was right and he had been sitting there by himself for a little too long.

Of course, being the nice girl she was, the waitress - Ronnie her name was Ronnie - had stopped by periodically whenever she had a minute to chat with him or finally bring him some coffee after he had given in to the craving.

Danny looked down at the small bouquet wilting on the table and sighed. Looked like this date was a bust, just like the few others he'd attempted, and he'd actually been very excited to see her. In fact, it was Michelle who had suggested this Gerald's Grill when he had shyly asked her out in Biology.

He had finally made up his mind to just stop wasting Ronnie's time and go home when a group of boys came trouping in, wet from the snow but in exuberant spirits and, apparently, "In great need of some refreshment, Ronnie dear!"

That made him want to pack up and get out even faster because, honestly, he didn't need any more knowing looks or judgement right now, but the last boy to walk in made him freeze with his coat halfway on.

The kid looked about Danny's age, roughly the same height but a whole lot skinnier. He had on skin tight jeans, scuffed hiking boots, and a red woolen coat. When he turned to talk to Ronnie, Danny could see the Tom Petty hoodie beneath the jacket and some silver necklaces.

'Nice,' he thought, 'seems like a cool guy: good taste in music and fashion.'

Also, 'Fucking gorgeous'.

What made him pause his leaving, though, wasnt the guy's body but his face - his sculpted brows, insanely high cheekbones, pink lips, and long lashes; all framed by the healthiest looking head of hair Danny had ever seen, second only to his own, or possibly one of the guy's he had come in with (the one who yelled for Ronnie) that had rather impressive, long curls styled to look like 70's mutton chops. There was something naggingly familiar about his features, but Danny couldn't place it.

Ronnie rolled her eyes and pointed the group of boys to a large table in the Eastern corner of the diner.

She snagged some menus and followed behind them, though another guy, this one also with long hair (he was having some competition here) grown out Justin Beiber style (okay, maybe not) said; "We don't need those, Ronnie, I'm pretty sure Sammy here has the whole menu memorized by now. Right, Sam-a-lam-a?"

The intruiging boy nodded, starting to recite off what sounded like a very accurate, detailed account of the diner's menu, prices and everything. Danny was surprised at the slight raspy, smokers quality of his voice, but it was pleasant, in a way.

After the fourth item or so, Ronnie stopped "Sammy" with a swat to the shoulder, shaking her heading and muttering "stupid genius" under her breath. He grinned up at her, wiggling his eyebrows and asking for a round of Vernors, pretty please, Ronnie-kins.

Holy shit, they were siblings! That's what had been buzzing at the back of his head for the past couple minutes; those mouths and cheekbones, seductive eyes, that lovely hair. The guy was Ronnie's brother (and no wonder he was so beautiful then).

Squinting, Danny watched the party in the corner. Two of the other guys, 70's hair and Justin Beiber (though he felt bad calling him that since he seemed cool and, hey, he'd  had the same 'do when trying to grow his out) were laughing at something Ronnie said, leaning on each other and behaving the exact same way, down to their blinks.

Twins! Danny could tell because he had two cousins, also twins, that acted exactly like that. Wait, though.... they looked awfully similar to-

More siblings?! Jesus, how many kids did this family have? He hoped the four were all, for the sake of their parents.

He guessed that the twins were a little older, so either "Sammy" or Ronnie had to be the youngest, though they all looked awfully similar in age.

'Seriously, how do their parents handle that?' Especially with the attractive, flirty twins, beautiful daughter, and the super smart supermodel - it had to be several handfuls raising a house like that. Danny suddenly felt a bit more sympathy for his parents, even with just having to deal with him and his little sister.

Ronnie sashayed away, calling over her shoulder for the boys to keep it down. They all hooted and hollered in response, seeing as Danny was the only other patron to bother at the moment.

Danny slowly sat back down, curious as to what interesting conversations he would hear from the group. The twin with curly hair was currently talking to a larger guy on the other side of the table about the "carefully curated sensuality" of Led Zeppelin's Prescence, which alone made him want to stay.

Not to mention, he could continue to observe the hot guy that was immediately fascinating him like few people did. Danny wasn't deluded enough to think it was love at first sight - though it was definitely a fair amount of lust - but there was something about the other boy that made him want to track his every move down to the blinking of his eyes.

"Woah there, creepy much? Chill out, he probably doesn't even like guys anyways," Danny muttered to himself, hoping that his staring wasn't obvious enough to make "Sammy" aware of it. He loved to people watch - and admire, but hated the uncomfortable confrontation of acknowledging that he had been doing so.

Supermodel boy twisted in his chair, looking at one of the many things on the wall - though it made Danny's breath catch because, could he tell? - when he caught Danny's eye. He smiled at Danny, making him smile a little tightly and nod in return.

At that moment, Ronnie came out of the back with a platter of glass pop bottles and a notebook tucked into her apron pocket, using her hip to close the swinging half-door to the area behind the counter. She smiled at Danny as he passed, murmuring a soft "I'll be right back with you," before continuing on to her brothers' table.

Gorgeous boy laughed - a surprisingly obnoxious, though maybe endearing, braying one - and reached out a fine boned hand, plucking a bottle from the tray before she could set it down. He took a long swallow, throat visibly working and eyes half closed, head tipped back. Danny quickly averted his own eyes unless he started drooling onto the tabletop.

Ronnie came over to him after a minute, refilling his coffee and insisting that she get him a piece of pie, on the house. He didn't have the heart to tell her no, not after more than an hour of sitting there pitifully, and especially not now that he knew her gorgeous brothers (or at least one of them, the prettiest, too) knew he was there. It would be incredibly embarrassing for them to know that he was stood up and alone; Danny wanted to give off a good impression, for some reason.

Ronnie walked away again, hips swaying, and disappeared into the back. "Sammy" laughed at the table in the corner and Danny's eyes shot to him, watching how he played with his straw between those two pillowy lips.

He started sweating a little bit, considering who he thought was more attractive (not like either of them would be interested in him, but). Ronnie was curvy and kind and beautiful, but Sam was lean and charismatic and had the most lovely facial structure Danny had ever seen.

'Ugh, bisexual problems', Danny thought. No one else would have know what he was talking about if they were there, though, since he had never mentioned it to his parents nor his few friends.

He wondered, idly - because he really was out of their league and it would never, ever happen - what his family would think if he brought either of them home. Ronnie would be sure to elicit absolute delight from his mother after her admonishment for getting a girlfriend in the first place (despite the fact that he was allowed to do what he wanted now that he was 18, Danny's mom still saw him as her little boy). Ronnie's brother, he wasn't sure; it's not like they were homophobic, but Danny was certain that him bringing home a guy out of nowhere would be quite the shock.

They'd warm up to Sam (he didn't want to call him "Sammy"; it felt too familiar to he polite, though he did like that), he was sure. His parents would be impressed by his intelligence and be charmed by his jokes, and tell Danny that they were glad he had found such a nice boyfriend.

Danny drifted off into a daydream of what it would be like to date Sam, to take him to family holiday meals and go out hiking with him and cuddle up on a late winter afternoon like this one. He rested his head on his hand, letting his eyes go unfocused as he envisioned the imaginary world in which he had an 11/10 boyfriend.

"Hey, I've got your pie. Mind if I sit and eat mine with you?"

-------------

@satans-helper @okietrish @lazingonsunday @bigthighsandstupidguys @karrotkate @oblvions @lantern-inthenight @mountainofthefleet seriously PLEASE tell me if anyone else wants to be tagged in Sanny and I'll add it to my list because I guessed these peeps last time and got it right but I can't remember if there's anyone else

[neko-rogers]

Relax

Square Filled: Shower Sex ; created for @spnkinkbingo

Synopsis: All you want is to take a nice steamy shower and compensate for the sleep you’ve been longing ever since you began hunting for a vampire nest.

Words: 2760

Forewarnings: NSFW 18+, foreplay, cunnilingus, intercourse under the shower, implied oral (male receiving), and the sad fantasy of running water being wasted.

A/N: Don’t try this at home, it’s really freaking dangerous and you could slip. Plus you’re obviously going to waste tons of gallons of water.

The silver knife that had been covered with blood from an earlier hunt still slashed keenly through the vampire’s neck, creating a loud gushing sound as it glides from it’s flesh. The second afterwards was seeing the beheaded body fall to his knees and concrete ground while blood oozed out from everywhere.

Your heartbeat continued to race, with your chest heavily heaving and head feeling light-headed from all the action. Meanwhile your hands and face were covered with an excessive amount of blood stains while your outfit was completely dirty. Though you couldn't thank yourself enough for having to finish the job already since it meant that you could get some rest that should compensate for the previous days.

"Y/N!" You picked up Sam's hoarse voice immediately from the dozens of hallways of the building. He was calling your name out for moments until you saw a flashlight flicker across the room from you.

Sam then placed his pistol back into where it was once he saw you standing there with a deceased creature behind. He hurried to where you stood as you dropped the large knife to the ground, which echoed a clashing sound around the area, and enveloped the Winchester’s body with your filthy arms. His musky scent filled your nostrils even when everything was completely covered in grease, you could still smell library books attached to his button-up. “Dean and I were looking for you these past few days, you could’ve left a note in the bunker or texted before you stormed off.

“I did text you guys.” You pulled back from the embrace and realized how guilty you were immediately since you only had texted them the moment you were about to head for the vampire’s nest you had been tracking a few months ago.

He continued to remind you that informing him that you were passing by at Sunnyside Diner and stating about solving a case wasn’t actually comforting at all for them. You held them worried for days whereas all they wanted was to keep you safe, therefore you couldn’t even look up directly at Sam and apologize because of the shame.

“Look, Sammy, I’m sorry about that and I realized how dumb I was to not leave a note to where I was heading−”

Heavy steps followed and you could hear Dean’s voice this time, calling for Sam’s name until he ended up finding the both of you. He had the ivory pistol secured around his dominant hand though he angled it down when he got closer and recognized your unwashed face. You couldn’t tell if the look on his face was relief that they finally found you or resentment due to your bold move of leaving the bunker without any context.

“Y/N.” The tone of his voice crumbling.

Dean was pleased to see you as a whole, don't get him wrong, he could finally sleep at night better than when you were not around. But he couldn't help himself once his emotions got the best of him and began acting too overprotected over you, "Goddammit Y/N didn't I tell you to keep yourself safe and always tell us where you're heading to?" His voice sounded demanding rather than a question.

With the younger brother caught up between the sudden conflict, Sam watched as you exchanged aggressive dialogues towards one another. You were tired and accomplished a case, no one could do anything anymore as everything that had to be done is done. There weren't any excuses left so you were exhausted to even argue. "Dean I'm sorry and I know I shouldn't have done what I did–"

"No. You don't get to pull the sorry card up your ass again," Dean stated and took a deep breath before rubbing his palm over his face.

He then continued, "My brother doesn't have the guts to tell you this because he's too chicken but you shouldn't be selfish with the hunting business, Sam and I are sick and tired of worrying where you go to everytime because you couldn't even leave a damn note or text me!"

Yeah you did understand Dean. You knew him from the back of your hand and for this scenario, you understood why he got so frustrated with you disappearing from the bunker out of nowhere. It would've been heavy for him especially when you realized that all he wants is to keep you safe – he was traumatized of being left alone or his loved ones to die again since hunting obviously isn't the best lifestyle to engage in.

He has had a hard time processing whether you would still be alive or not. He could never sleep peacefully knowing you could be out in the field being tackles by creatures stronger and more powerful. He loves you too much and hates to even think of you getting harmed. He wants to spend forever with you because you're the last remaining joy and symbol of hope for his fucked up life.

Though due to your weary condition, you weren't able to understand that. Instead, you felt a struck of guilt and sadness into your thoughts – you were trying to do what was good yet in the end it turns out that you were still the one doing wrongful acts. It hurt and tears began brimming around the circles of your eyelids and within moments, droplets were streaming down yours eyes.

Sam was surprised and felt too bad about it, he knew his brother became a bit hard on you though he didn't want to speak up anymore. Meanwhile the dickhead in front of you realized his mistake as his jaw dropped in awe, "Okay I didn't mean to sound that harsh, I just meant that all Sam and I want is to keep you safe because–"

"I'll wait in the Impala."

And with that you rudely stopped him from explaining further, rather walking past him with a cold aura while stomping your feet along the way. You made sure not to look back, trying to hid the uncontrollable tears from streaming, as you landed outside and instantly caught sight of the black Impala that glistened under the night sky.

It took them longer than usual before they went back into the car yet you couldn't care less because there you were seated at the backseat with dried tears staining your cheeks. Once you heard the car doors unlock, your system sooner dozed to slumber and when Dean started the engine you couldn't remember anything anymore than pitch black since your body was giving up and exhaustion got the best of you.

A light tap on the shoulder awoken you from slumber. Your eyes squinted alongside to see Sam trying to wake you up acknowledging the Impala has arrived in the bunker, your mind was groggy and it was a shame you couldn't continue dreaming – at least you could take that shower already. There you thanked Sam and got off the car.

Immediately, you picked your bag then went straight to the doorway and to your room, ignoring Dean along the way when he tried to look at you passing by. You were purposely being cold to him and could tell he was genuinely guilty about it. He even tried to open his mouth thought not a word came out from his tongue.

Once you dropped your gear and swept it under the bed, you grabbed a towel and went straight for a shower. You closed the door behind and began stripping your clothes off until none was left and you were naked as a bear, dropping every apparel on the floor then moving past the plain, nude-colored curtains.

Next you turned the shower and adjusted the heating system until the temperature was soothing your body perfectly. You moaned out of relief when you allowed the water to run down your body, soaking through your hair and feeling it rinse all the dirt clumped up in your body. You took a handful of liquid soap and dumped it all over your body while shampoo was all over your hair. Then you began to scrub every particle there was latched to your skin while the water was gently streaming down – from either side of your arms then down to the valley of your breasts, you made sure your body wasn't feeling sticky or gross anymore.

As you were midway with the relaxing shower, you heard the door creak open and assumed who it was. "Now isn't the best time to shower together, Winchester."

"C'mon, Y/N, I didn't mean what I said earlier."

You continued to bathe your body as your eyelids fastened and your face was directed against the shower head with fingers running through your tangled locks. There you were ignoring anything Dean was stating, even if the only thing separating the two of you was the shower curtain between.

But that didn't stop him from bugging the hell out of you. Within moments of avoiding a conversation with him inside the bathroom, you heard the curtains move aside while hands enveloped around your bare waist – it was Dean already naked and joining you in the shower without even having to ask you if he could.

He quickly shushed you before you could react furthermore, "Relax."

His soft hand pressed against your upper back while his other reached for the bottle of soap and squeezing an amount onto your skin before placing it back. He began to massage your body, starting it off with his thumb doing circular motions at the lower back of your neck while his other fingers gripped around your shoulders.

Then he eventually advanced lower, sensing his muscular arms on either sides of you. His hands pressed lightly against your breasts at first while you let out a gasp and felt your body betraying you as the area between your thighs began to soak with your arousal despite the fact that you were submerged with running water already. “You like that?” Dean sensually teases.

And just like that your body gave into the scene and melted into a puddle. You nodded for Dean and you let your back relax against his sturdy torso, allowing him to lead you on with what he plans to do to help you ease yourself.

Firstly, you looked to your side only to be met with soft lips that swiftly progressed with your mouth. He tasted like the typical combination of fast food and beer, though you didn’t mind as you got used to it, as he subtly tugged your lower lip between his teeth then releasing promptly.

Without having to sense it at first, he brushed the ends of your hair to one side and lowered his face on the other until his lips could press against a part of your neck. Dean began to suck against the sensitive skin while continuing to knead onto your breasts. He even bit down and nibbled with certain areas between your neck and shoulders until pink bruises were forming and your body ached harder for him.

Then he spun you around until he got the magnificent view of your breasts bouncing out for him. With a sudden move, Dean’s mouth lapped onto one of them and began to swirl the tip of his tongue around your sensitive nipples. You took a few steps backward and stopped when you felt your back lower onto a flat surface just around the corner. Though he didn’t stay fondling around with your breasts for longer as his mouth unfastened and left the usual love bites at the area. It tickled you for a bit but mostly sent a kindling sensation throughout your body.

His mouth went downwards further, reaching over your midriff and leaving trails of kisses until it resulted with him pressing his lips firmer onto your clit. He knelt down onto the floor while continuing to eat your cunt out, swathing from your folds and delving further to earn a taste of the wetness formed from earlier. You couldn’t help but extend your arms out and jerk a handful of his hair. When you looked beneath, you were caught with the view of the water running along Dean’s toned back, seeing it glisten through the light which created the effect of his body looking more wonderful whereas his face was completely buried under your pussy. “You taste so sweet, princess.”

Another thing was he attempted to dip a finger inside you, pumping it inside and outside while you let out a soft groan. He tried to add another finger but this time you concluded that his touch and tongue wasn’t enough for the throbbing of your sex, craving for more specifically his cock impelling inside of you. “Dean, I need more.”

He murmurs, “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“I need your cock inside me,” you whine while he chuckles at you knowing that a few hours you despised him but now you were pleading.

Dean straightened himself in front of you now, leaving your pulsing nerves for a short while reaching for one of your legs and hoisting it up which gave him a better angle to penetrate himself inside you. Meanwhile his cock was totally erect and stood out before having to align himself with your entrance – even with the sight of it, you could already imagine it filling your insides and repeatedly propelling your walls.

Oomph.

He didn’t ask once more for a permission from you before skimming his fingers over your folds then fisting his cock and guiding it until you could feel is sink inside you. Your mouth gaped open when Dean began to thrust his hips forwards and backwards as you tried to grip around his arms or any handle to stay in tact. “Baby, you feel so good.”

And even though his size wasn’t that lengthy, he was definitely thick enough for your walls to tighten around and feel your favorite sensation wash through your system. Dean knew how to use his dick, he knew how to please you in many ways than you could imagine and that was one of his most special skills. From trying to hold back your moans which now escalated quickly to being a groaning mess. Your body that was one rinsed off clear from soap now was covered in your perspiration again though wasn’t too obvious because of the phase you both spent here.

The shower room didn’t only echo your voice but Dean’s grunts also. His tone was deep and rigid, even without the sex you always fantasized about his husky accent – the way he gets furious with failed hunts or when things slip out of hand, he gets enraged and usually ends up throwing something across the library out of impulse – that is fucking hot.

“Should this be considered as an apology sex?” he suddenly blurts out subsequent with a short laughter, but you didn’t respond rather gestured him to continue with what he’s doing to you.

Maybe it was your condition that made you closer to your orgasm faster than you normally expect it to be; moreover, you were certain that the fiery intensity that was forming inside your lower abdomen was a sign that you were nearing. Your head felt dizzier than earlier and your temples throbbed fervently because of the temperature of your body rising up. “Are you close, princess?”

Dean obviously had the smug smirk on his face even through with the shower disrupting your sight. He was confident because he knew your body well, how your instincts would act up when you were feeling certain things. In addition to that, he dragged his hand between your inner thighs and began to thumb down to your bud. “You can come, that’s definitely fine for me.”

Then you let out a scream and allowed yourself to release before him. Your fluids dripping down your thighs but the water immediately washed it down the drain before Dean could do anything else. He lets out a heavy sigh of relief when he felt his cock being covered with your warmth as you got down from it, this time it was you who knelt down for him, “My turn.”

His brow raised for a second as his chest was evidently trying to catch a breath yet couldn’t help but smile at the view.

[somnilogical]

what fills the abyss?

thinking of i am prepared to face god this instant:

| theres stuff people yell at the page of a book "dont give them the location of the rebel base!! even if they will kill you!! its simple utilitarianism!!"

| that when they are in a rebel story, they wont choose to do

| and its not because they have discovered that it is secretly best for the world

|| that actually this whole "choose to die so the population of the bay area will live" thing is bullshit.

||| and when faced with the situation they discover the true utilitarian calculus which says that they should live and have lots of babies.

| there is no reason written in the stars for human beings to choose to do what is best for the world

|| and many reasons why humans would not

|| most humans wont choose what is best for the world, even after "learning" about utilitarianism and tdt

|| a small minority of humans will choose closer to what is best for the world, even before "learning" about utilitarianism and tdt

||| this is historically observable, and in my experience their choices are not a fluke. they will generally make altruistic choices again and again. they will go back in time and do it over again.

||| the spectra of human responses to social reality telling them to hurt others show up in things like replications of the milgram experiment.

| between what people will yell at a hero to do and what they choose to do, there is a gap.

|| in a lot of people the gap is filled with excuses for why they chose what they chose.

||| things like "i am just fundamentally addicted to having babies, so to be altruistic i have to have them or i cant work" or "i need to have sex with young women so i can keep my confidence up and then later be super altruistic".

|||| two sides of the same coin, breeding.

| when i came to the bay area i was really confused why people would say things like "if you think the odds look too grim enjoy the time you have left" at winter solstice. or "smart people having babies is actually a galaxy brain way to save the world, the babies will save the world. you know, the baby army."

|| in a world in which the tradition and narrative by the majority of humans wasnt such that "have babies" was just a set thing you did. saying you are altruistic and then diverting your life path to spend an intense amount of time and energy and money on one particular human because they are genetically related to you, would seem like it would need justification.

||| similarly "oh i work at google" (which is one of the main machines powering the present omnicide.) in a sane world would elicit hushed whispers about how you are planning to sabatoge them without being captured by the system.

|||| like if you were working for a nazi munitions factory during world war II. instead of this world in which its something you just do, you know its a job. lots of nice smiling people work there and you have to feed your family.

|| and when i suggest that deleting genetic favourtism, so that no one could tell who they were genetically related to, would make the world a better place; people protested against this.

||| i wrote:

<<if humans were born into a world where they would rather die than see someone with blue hair harmed, or treated people with red hair as if they were as valuable as rocks, the world would be better off if the module that switched around personhood / moral relevance sensors depending on hair colour were turned off

being faceblind wrt 'who is my genetic relative?' seems like a similar gain in utility.

or if losing something sounds dismal, you could do a similar operation of turning on your 'this is a genetic relative' tagger for everyone. that might feel more warm of a thing to do?

this would free up so much energy and its super obvious that it would and i dont understand why people would be against it except for corrigibility issues. like "oh no if i dont think blues are special then blues might end up getting less resources and that would be terrible because blues are special to me!! i want them to have all the resources. also? it would make people want to give more resources to reds? ew. whats the point, its such a waste."

O humans, i think 'remove genetic discrimination y/n?' has a pretty straightforward answer!!!

id give everyone a button to do this. (i wouldnt give everyone a button that was like 'PRESS THIS BUTTON TO DIE INSTANTLY' even if it was keyed such that only the person targeted could press it. i would oppose someone who tried to give everyone such a button.)>>

||| sexual reproduction in the year 1200 would still happen because to not reproduce would be to doom humanity to extinction. but it would look a lot different than it does now, and the ways humans would make choices would be a lot different.

|| until i worked out that all of these were excuses constructed to fill in the gap between what someone would yell at a True Hero and what they would choose to do themselves.

--

in a world like this, their are attempts at every level to bury what someone running utilitarianism and altruism on their brains looks like. by the majority of humans who want to have something like "im def altruistic i swear i can prove it by all these metrics ppl around me has agreed mean that im working for the good of the world. im also totes addicted to babiez. *peace sign*"

when i say this sort of stuff people react like im trying to set up a norm where people are socially ostricisized. but like how would that work when social is overwhelmingly made up of people who made this exact choice?

im talking with humans who are aberrations from those who choose to be what the majority coercively designates to be "human".

i dont think everyone who chooses to not have babies has a neurotype such that they wouldnt zap someone in the milgram or be able to die rather than reveal the location of the rebel base. i dont even think its a particularly good indicator. i think both are indications of choosing not to work for the good of the world in a way sufficient for the doom our planet faces.

--

this is just one example, i focus on the babs side of the coin cuz for some reason "i need nubile fems to power mah komodo mojo to enter ultra altruism mode!!! >:DDD". has been locally socially cached as not actually sincere. and seems to actually have worse externalities in terms of sexual assault. though it not seeming credible might be because very few of the humans i talk with are normie cismasc. im not sure the extent to which people like katie cohen exist.

there are a lot of other instances of the gap, like "if you were a true altruist, you would optimize for welfare across all sections of the multiverse including here and now. why not "enjoy life"? you are a person too and it is good if you are happy. this is just how humans work." whenever people say this to me i got really confused because "enjoy life" as some sort of atomic thing abstracted from broader meaning of the arc of your lifes optimization doesnt really make sense to me.

what things mean matters to me, a similar mental glitch i think happens when people declare that there are "good things" and smile over "cute gifs of animals" like if i had saved an animal from being killed as an instrumental part of my optimization for bringing about a new multiversal order then i could feel happy. it matters what stuff is upstream of things cutting this structure off in order to try and make an action set existentially safe to do, to have a social contract where no one can punish you for doing something no matter what is upstream of it, is moving in a wrong direction.

often done by someone who wants to give people some sort of modular mitzvah thing that its definitely safe to perform and bring the world closer to dath ilan in a decentralized summoning ritual. a complementary error way to gum up peoples epistemics about what is just is to unboundedly keep insisting that there is more structure and nuance upstream of what they are doing that justifies (makes just) what they are doing. like how ▘▕▜▋ kept insisting that there was more nuance and reasons why beating emma with a stick was actually helpful to the world. if you just look at everything thats upstream.

both these strategies try to move the social equilibrium away from justice.

see what is upstream of stuff, search to find if the person seeking to kill a human is avenging the deaths of three others, fulfilling a timeless contract to save lives. look at who started it and who is optimizing for good ends.

[breathings-of-the-heart]

Levi x Reader Part 3

Love me Black and Blue

A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! Hope all’s well so far, and looking forward to 365 days of self-love, prosperity, human relations, and of course, more Shingeki no Kyojin! I don’t really have a preface for this chapter, other than the fact that its probably one of my favorites. As always, enjoy <3

(Part 1);  (Part 2) (Part 4 sneak peek)

Please don’t tell me they already left...

You bolted forward, hissing in pain as your wrapped ankle protested against the fast and sudden movement of running. A self-induced sense of urgency spurred you onward despite it, but such carelessness twisted the injury further as you misstepped, stumbling forward slightly.

You barely flinched, bending down and tightening the bandages before treading forward once more with a bit more awareness. And without missing a beat, a distant gallop of horse hooves shook the ground. Like a cat hunting prey, your orbs darted towards the direction of the sound and spurred you onward.

“Of all days to wake up late,” you hissed underneath your breath, voice dripping with sarcasm.

A few greetings were tossed your way as you passed, casual at first until those who laid eyes on your intense gaze gave you a double take.

Your shirt wasn’t completely buttoned, the sleeve tucked on one end and rolled down on the other. Usually kempt (h/c) locks were a tangled mess tossed over your shoulders, pants consisting of flimsy sleeping shorts. It was probably a ridiculous sight to see you limping across camp so ungracefully, and in such a condition.

Catching a certain someone was more important than the throbbing sensation or uncharacteristic behavior, however.

“Captain Levi!”

Seeing a onyx-haired male just a few paces ahead of you now, you reached your arm out and tugged on the Captain’s sleeve desperately to stop him. But the burst of speed and short distance between the two of you was something you hadn’t considered.

He halted the uniform stride abruptly. You broke pace, yet being in such a hurried state left transitioning time too narrow. Unable to halt yourself in time, you collided with Levi’s sturdy back…

… and the ground slipped from beneath you.

“Shi--”

Weight precariously balanced on your back heels, you screwed your eyelids shut to prepare for your collision with the hard earth.

But the impact never came.

Levi turned around curiously, seeing the situation and calmly yet unnaturally quickly slipping his arm around your waist before you could completely trip backwards.

He muttered a small “tch,” at your lack of professionalism and shook his head, looking down to give you a much-needed lecture.

“(Y/N), how many times have I--” 

Levi’s eyes flickered lower, but as soon as they did, he froze.

The current angle of your half-dipped figure and barely covered cleavage made it difficult to restrain himself from... staring. Of course you’d be oblivious about such a thing.

Levi screwed his eyelids shut in exasperation.

“--Forget it,” he finished, reverting to his usual collected self. “I won’t waste my breath.”

You tentatively opened your eyes, hands gently brushing against Levi’s firm chest. Even underneath his uniform, you could feel his impressive muscles, and became embarrassed for not hating his hand gripping your side. Heichou’s body against yours made your heart pound so fiercely you were afraid he would be able to feel it.  

Stunned the whole situation, your pupils dilated as you were given the opportunity to properly admire the man in front of you.

But the moment had to end as Humanity’s Strongest cleared his throat and heaved you upwards. Blushing, you dusted yourself off as the tension-filled scene passed. Nearly everyone who knew Levi also knew it was impossible to deny his handsome appearance, but you were professional.

Maybe not at the moment, but...

“You’re a mess,” he clicked his tongue in disapproval. You rubbed your arm sheepishly at the comment. “Why aren’t you in the infirmary?” his voice brought you back to focus and you felt yourself flush once again.

“There aren’t any medics around to keep me away, and I just wanted to see you off, is all…” you answered shyly, biting the inside of your cheek.

“I literally think it’s impossible for you to just… do as you’re told,” he admonished finally as you observed the unamusement in his steele blue-gray orbs. Levi prepared to tell you off for disregarding your health so easily, but as he got a better look at you, something stopped him.

His fixed look shifted from your heaving torso down to the bandages on your leg, the panting of your laboured breathing filling the air.

Guilt and worry reflected your off of your eyes, pure and innocent. Your already petite form seemed even smaller underneath your crestfallen posture, and combining with the utter chaos of your appearance and the pain in your ankle you must’ve been ignoring to reach Levi so quickly, he couldn’t help but soften his expression a fraction.

You were simply really, really worried for your family.

“It’s just… This is the first time I won’t be going with you all, sir. I’m not used to it, and…” there was a pause. “I don’t like it...”

Petra’s gaze flitted to where you and Levi were stood, and she motioned to everyone around her, all nearby and saddling up their horses. They all smiled warmly, the waves of concern and anxiety radiating from you feasible from where they gathered around. The Captain felt their burning stares and ignored them, narrowed his eyes at you instead.

You grew flustered. Was he really angry with you for wanting to say goodbye? You replayed the brief conversation in your head, trying to find where it went wrong.

Oh.

“Not that I don’t think you’re capable without me! You obviously can handle yourselves just fine, even if you were all on your own. I don’t think I carry the squad or anything. I know you are--”

“--(Y/N)?” he cut you off, efficiently abridging your words. Out of nervous habit, you bit your lip. Levi squad all sauntered towards you, synchronized even in their steps.

“It’s just a regulation border patrol,” he continued, unfazed as they all approached. Oluo rested his arm on your shoulder, and you had to crane your head upwards to look at him, reluctantly breaking focus from the short Captain.

“Don’t worry, Shorty Girl. We’ll be back before you know it. Hell, I could probably do one of these by myself. In my sleep,” he boasted, predictably. You smiled softly at his pompous attempt to reassure you. Petra, unaffected by the Levi-wannabe’s ‘charm’, rolled his eyes.

“So you’re telling me you can spot titans with your eyes closed, dumbass?”

Before he could respond, Levi took initiative over the inevitable pointless bickering that was about to break out.

“Let’s stop wasting my time and actually get this over with,” he ordered, gaze never leaving you as he waved them off. Gunther sent you a discreet thumbs up as Eld pulled him away, waving at you as she went. Your stomach churned with anxiety regardless.

“I’m sorry, Heichou,” you croaked, playing with the ends of your hair. Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Stop worrying about it, brat. It’s not your fault. And start taking better care of yourself, if you want to come with us next time.”

“Yes, sir,” you conceded defeatedly, watching desparidly as Levi turned to mount his horse. Seeing his back to you, about to leave to the uncertainty of the outside, made something snap, though, and you tugged on his sleeve once again.

“Captain, wait!” you nearly shrieked, fear growing in a frantic spurt. He looked back, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

There was a pause.

“I...uh…” to be honest, you had nothing else to say. All you knew is that you didn’t want him to go just yet.

You really cared about them, didn’t you?

“Oi,” the stoic man interrupted, lamenting to the crestfallen, puppy-eyed countenance you were wearing. He reached out, pulling your hand away from the hair it was tugging at.

“We’ll come find you when we get back.”

You sighed, but there was an undeniable sincerity in his words. Levi paused, studying your expression for an awkward, silent minute as if daring you to question the statement.

“Okay,” you gave in, skin suddenly set ablaze where Levi’s fingers touched it. The gnawing worry was forgotten if only for an instant. “I guess you should be off, then, so you can return before I drive myself insane.”

Levi’s gaze met yours steadily, gears turning in his head as he monotonously analyzed the dejection in your expression. He raised his hand and signalled to the squad behind him to move out.

Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo all waved to you in turn before galloping off. You were sure Humanity’s Strongest was going to leave without another word, and the churning feeling in your gut made you lightheaded as the Captain’s grip on his horse’s reins grew tighter. It must’ve been evident on your face.

Levi rolled his eyes.

“Have a little faith, (Y/N),” He insisted apathetically before turning his horse to join the others, leaving you behind.

You nodded in defeat, watching the Special Operations Squad disappear in the distance, without you alongside them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat on the nurse’s desk table, one leg hanging off and the other propped up, your head resting on your knee. Hange scuffled around, grabbing certain items for her titan experiments as you watched her intently.

She seemed to be in search of a particular item, eyes squinted in concentration. A bundle of materials rested in one of her arms, filled with intimidating scalpels, lighters, and vials of unknown substances. You began absentmindedly playing with the hem of your long skirt, the shuffle of the brunette’s movements blurring in your ears.

After rummaging through the cabinets for a solid five minutes, she pulled at her hair in frustration, whipping around to face you.

“(Y/N)...” she whined, rather loudly, jolting you back to awareness. “I can’t find a needle, and you’re just sitting there doing nothing!”

You shot the scientist a fierce glare and pulled out the drawer from the desk underneath you, pointing to the object she was looking for in silence. Hange shook her head softly, plucking the injection from its place.

“I’m getting gray hairs just staring at you, you know. Honestly, it’s like there’s a dark cloud pouring rain over your head. They’re fine, (Y/N). Lighten up.”

You crossed your arms and stuck your nose in the air defensively.

“I didn’t ask you to babysit me, so don’t complain about me polluting your good mood. You can always go if you want to.”

She clicked her tongue.

“Actually, I can’t. Corporal Shorty demanded I watch you while they’re gone.” There was a twinkle of humor in her eyes.

Taken aback, you scoffed lightly. “What does he think I’m going to do? I can barely move five feet in front of me.”

Hange laughed, provocatively grinning at you before turning around to grab a bag to place her things. The disposition in the room changed, and you knew the next thing out of the scout’s mouth would be utter ridiculousness.  

“I don’t know, (Y/N). Why would someone as dark and brooding as Corporal Shorty leave someone in charge to make sure your angelic self stays perfectly safe in this room?”

So you had been correct. Noting that you were in a particularly sour mood, you saved no expense in considering Hange’s potentially gentle ego as you bluntly glowered at her.

“You know I hate it when people speak in riddles. Insinuation is pointless, Hange. Either say what you mean or shut the hell up,” you huffed, any semblance of your typically cheery personality having disappeared with your squad members.

Hange folded her arms across her chest and you inhaled deeply, wondering what had come over you.

“You’re too perfect for words, (Y/N),” the woman laughed, poking you on the nose sweetly. “No wonder Levi has taken a liking to you.”

Your cheeks flamed. If you weren’t already red from you interaction with said man that morning, you were probably scarlet now. Gauging your reaction, Hange doubled over her strange cackling growing in volume as you willed your mind not to wander off into daydream about his perfectly sculpted body, alluring orbs, defined jawline--

Wait. Since when did I start thinking about that?

“Yeah, you’re perfect for his squad,” she finished, placing a hand on her hip.

Oh. That’s what Hange meant. Of course.

You cleared your throat, willing your face to cool down in the process. She was so friendly, you started to feel sorry for snapping at her the way you did.

“I’m sorry for my bitterness, Hange,” you started apologetically. “It’s just that my job is to help them, so when I can’t, what am I good for?”

“--If you want to help, it will do well for you to stay put and heal. Petra can’t survive much longer without someone to help her tame the other brats,” a voice broke in.

You perked up instantly as your gaze snapped to the familiar sound, nearly jumping off the table after realizing Levi was leaning against the doorframe. Sunlight seemed brighter, and the world regained a bit of its color.  

“Naturally. Only you can handle for such a task by yourself,” you smiled, feeling the ton of weight lifting from your chest.

Love and relief for your teammates hitting you like a rush as he sauntered closer. Your first impulse was to throw your arms around the short-statured man as soon as he was in arms-length, but you tightened your fists instead, puzzled by the urge to do such a thing. He placed himself between your legs and blew his hair out of his face.

“Hm,” Levi grunted, as if agreeing to the statement.

The raven turned to Hange, as if suddenly remembering her presence while you held your breath next to him.

“You can go now, if you’d like.”  

She nodded, clutching her things tighter.

“Finally! She’s been a pain in the ass, that one,” the glasses-clad female exclaimed, a cheeky smirk plastered on her face. She ducked with the preknowledge that something would be chucked at her head.

Your glower was pressing daggers into her skin, but nevertheless, Hange winked at you as she ushered herself out of the room.

Without much of a warning, Levi placed your hands on his shoulders and his own on your hips.

“Down you go. The others are waiting for you,” he montoned, assisting you gently climb down from the cold, steel table.

Touching Levi’s broad shoulders alongside with the fact that you hadn’t needed help at all, which he knew, made your heart pound. The entire way to the mess hall, he kept a soft touch on the small of your back to guide you, making sure you wouldn’t trip. He looked down at your shorter form and leaned down to whisper something.

“Oh, and in case you thought I was being nice: two weeks of kitchen duty for disrespecting Hange.”

Something nagging bloomed in your stomach despite Levi’s unknowingly seductive tone, however; a distant memory chiming in demand to be remembered. One that made your palms sweat as you stole a glance at him.

[alienbrainwave]

Let's just save the time and say please answer all of it

LMAO thanks leena 

⛵️ - Fave pirate ship? (like boat ship)

UHM. red force? thousand sunny? going merry? 🔫 - Fave canon arc?

WATER 7 omfg this arc was. too good. too emotionally powerful. 

🚽 - Least favorite canon arc?

eh tied between skypiea and thriller bark. i think both are like? ok? but my gripe with skypiea is that there are like. no lasting consequences. like it ends and its like “yay we defeated god and everyone is okay!”. and thriller bark.... i loved brook’s introduction aswell as kumas more... official introduction.... but the storyline of that arc was so exhausting and i couldnt wait for it to be over tbh

💩 - Least favorite character? (in general)

This is too hard. Blackbeard? I fucking hate that guy. 🙅 - Least favorite Straw Hat?

omfg... tough i love them all. but probably sanji. i really hate how hes so badass and then relies on the pervert trope so much. brook is sort of similar but he overall feels more of a comic relief character whereas sanji is like. supposed to be serious half the time. idk. i love everyone though. 

😀 - Most favorite Straw Hat?

ah shit. i really do love them all. Its tied between. Luffy and Zoro. Because zoro was originally my Favorite Character and is now my third favorite.... but luffy speaks to me a lot. Like his whole.... die hard friendship thing. that means a lot to me. 

😍 - OTP?

ZOLU/ZOLAW/ZOLAWLU???? FROBIN?

💀 - NOTP?

ANY ASL SHIP THEYRE BROTHERS DO NOT SHIP THEM EVEN IF THEY ARENT RELATED THEY VIEW EACHOTHER AS BROTHERS!!!!! also law and cora or law and doffy or cora and doffy.... all awful and i implore the fandom to STOP. lunami , sanami, zosan, marco and ace whatever the ship name is for that, and im not a huge fan of shanks and makino 

☠ - Fave pirate symbol?

oof its like. between spade pirates, red hair pirates, heart pirates

🏰 - Fave marine?

it used to be smoker.... and hes still up on the list... but its definitely admiral kizaru now. 

❌ - Least fave marine?

hm. i havent actually gotten to akainu but? maybe him? spandam? lucci? 

👾 - Fave villain?

kizaru or katakuri probably 

😭 - Saddest scene?

uhm. excuse me. how can i choose. all of one piece is sad. mb aces death but i havent gotten to it yet so😆 - Funniest scene?

fucking. brooks introduction. like all throughout him being introduced. 

or after luffy KOs the celestial dragon and luffy kid and law are like. acting like. competitive children? hilarious. 

😜 - Funniest character?

this is tough. but i have to say i laughed so much because of duval consistently 😳 - Any crushes?

yeah ofc are you kidding me? ace, law, zoro, shanks, robin, franky, rayleigh theres just so many omg 

👌 - Fave character design?

HM idk if i can choose. kizaru? katakuri? ace? its hard bc i have bias on liking these characters already 

🃏 - Who has the Best Hat? (the true question)

uhm luffy obviously

🆚 - Sub or dub?

dub! 

☯️ - Anime or manga?

anime but only because when i first started watching one piece it was like. out of boredom and i wasnt expecting to get invested. so i was like. eh ill just watch it to waste time. then i kept watching it and got into it so i just continued watching it! My current plan is to rewatch the anime up to where the dub is with ned then once we do that im going to read the manga

⏰ - How long have you been into One Piece?

only little over a year! im pretty sure i got into one piece april 2018? 

🍏 - Would you eat a Devil Fruit if you had the chance to?

uhm of fucking course i would!!! 

🐼 - Fave side character?

HATCHAN I WOULD DIE FOR HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES THE BEST (i mean im not counting law or ace as side characters since they overall have a lot of impact in the story.)

☔️ - Scene that made you cry the most? (not necessarily the saddest scene)

oh fuck uhm. water 7′s entirety i was crying so much. uhhh i just finished sabaody before hancocks intro so like. THAT scene in sabaody i was like “ aw this is sad” and then i was sobbing so hard my body was like. literally wracked with the sobs. i still cry everytime i hear binks brew/sake tho. so maybe that part? listen i cry a lot in general and one piece is sad very often so i cry A LOT 

🌧 - Saddest backstory?

robin???? franky???? 

😎 - Funniest joke?

zoros fucking nonexistent sense of direction really gets me every time

😱 - Most attractive character? 

Zoro for sure 

😐 - Most annoying character?

FOXY god i fuckinnnng hate him 

😕 - Scariest character?

conceptually, visually? scratchmen apoo. im not afraid of him but everything about him is completely unsettling to me. Maybe eneru/enel aswell? he spooked me a little until i was lamenting to someone about how op he is and they were like “luffys going to win because hes rubber.” and i was like. fuck. oh. ok. yeah. makes sense. kizaru is not like? scary? but he definitely is so powerful that it feels helpless against him which is a scary feeling.

👍 - Most powerful Devil Fruit power?

thats hard because even ones that seem lame are used well and become super strong? maybe pika pika no mi

🗣 - Got any theories for how it’s all gonna end?

no theories but i hope luffy becomes the pirate king

🙏 - Favorite episode?

uhmmm.. well my favorite  filler episode is zoros fucking.. babysitting adventures. so good. i dont know if i could pick a favorite canon episode

😏 - Favorite scene?

luffy punching the celestial dragon !!!

🙌 - Are you up to date?

lmao not at all. i stopped right before luffy and hancock meet so i could rewatch the series with ned. i do have a sort of understanding of whats happening atm. i try not to get spoiled but i have the very barebones 

❓ - What unanswered questions do you have related to One Piece?

im mostly just like. curious about the characters we know but dont know their bounties? like if i recall correctly we dont know like rayleighs bounty? do we know shanks? or gold rogers? stuff like that. 

▶️ - Fave opening?

share the world or we are!

🔙 Least fave opening?

hmmm maybe bon voyage?

🎆 - Something you can’t wait for??!!

i cant wait to get to wano!!!! it looks so good!!!!

🔝 - “One Piece is better than ”

one piece is better than kpop

🔪 - A character who fills you with frustration?

bon clay or buggy 

💓 - Which character do you relate to the most?

hm. water 7 robin? idk theyre all relatable for different reasons its hard to say whos the most relatable for me

™️ - How has One Piece changed you?

ehhh i dont know if its changed me as a person as much as its given me something to hold onto