#actually there was another youtube video I stumbled across around that time that was a short amateur horror film

[tearlessrain]

rabbits scare me for the same reason babies scare me. not because of the harm they could do to me but because they are so small and constantly trying to die and there are so so so many ways to accidentally kill them.

but also slightly worse than babies because babies don't have razor sharp incisors that they might use to take you down with them.

[nicromancytarot]

so how did you manage to find the exact name of your spouse thats quite cool!

It’s a long story in all honesty. 2022 I liked this guy, and I stumbled across pick a cards on YouTube, I watched one about my future spouse and it mentioned some specific things that unfortunately for 2022 me did not add up with the guy I liked. At the end of 2022 I interacted with my future spouse unknowingly, and he’s always been under my nose which sounds insane and creepy at the same time. My friend sent me a video of him in 2021 and I had no idea who he was, I used an audio of him on tiktok in 2022 and still hasn’t a clue of his existence, even as far back to 2020 when I saw him on youtube and vowed to never watch his content ‼️

He’s somewhat in the influencing space if you can’t already tell (I’ll keep his name private for the sake of both of our privacies and timing, since obviously things can change) so I didn’t think much of it. Then mid 2023 I got back into Tarot and pick a cards, I was feeling really demotivated so I decided to watch some about my future spouse again, same thing as always happens, I put two and two together and was like “oh, hang on a minute” then bro got semi cancelled and I was onto bigger and greater things, hoping Louis Partridge was my husband instead 😔

I always felt verrrry drawn to this person no matter what and it pissed me off cus this was my era of loving Miguel Ohara and wishing that he was real, but it was spoiled by this man being on my mind. So around 5 months later I got back into his content (very loosely) and I was a tad more content with him being my future spouse.

I then started learning more about astrology, he hasn’t got many chart analysis posts about him as he’s not mainstream or anything, but the ones that he does have, the “soulmate” ones weirdly describe me and it’s creepy, because it makes me feel parasocial, I only know one other person with a “famous” future spouse so I don’t really know how to feel about it, since there’s so many unsuspecting, but it’s weird to know who you’re going to marry.

Another thing I should probably say is that my spirit guides don’t hide much from me anymore, the start of 2023 they gave me a blob of information about the universe and how it works and all these things about the afterlife (which again, makes me sound psycho, so I don’t speak about it) I’m writing a book on it, have been for the last year, it’s definitely going to be a lot when I one day release it lmao, but because of them telling me all this stuff, they don’t really care to hide my future spouse’s identity for me, I think they figured that it will motivate me to actually get my ass up and become who I want to become so we can meet.

But going back to the astrology, I was told by my spirit guides via pendulum that I was going to meet him at 21, that was told to me October last year, December last year I was looking through our astrology transits, we both have a 5th house (love and relationships) transit on November 24th 2026, 14 days after my 21st birthday. So that was certainly confirmation lmao. His 7th house ruler (where you could meet) in astrocartography goes over the country I live in, and my 7th house ruler also goes over that place too, so again, very strange.

During my October pendulum time, I spoke with one of my great grandparents who had a specific message for me, and she proceeded to spell out his name, so that’s how I know that lmao.

I’ve done so many readings on it since because it does make you feel absolutely, incredibly insane and possibly out of your mind, and they’ve always added up. I did a “how he’s going to meet his future spouse” and then mine, they added up too much, it was terrifying (bro feels rejected by me, L) and I also asked for confirmation a few nights later for just a single sign that he is indeed my future spouse, I pulled AT THE SAME TIME the lovers and two of cups, I genuinely sobbed when I realised I could’ve recorded it, it’s the craziest thing that’s happened to me in Tarot I swear.

I also received a few readings since during exchanges and games where people have straight up confirmed that he is who I think he is. So hopefully we both make the right decisions to be together in the end, it’s definitely not an opportunity I plan on missing out on.

I can’t lie, knowing your future spouse is hard, especially if they’re somewhat someone you look up to, I’m not necessarily a “fan” of him, I don’t really interact with his content anymore, I haven’t really done so since early 2023, but I feel guilty for not doing so now as of who he is to me, and who he shall be. I constantly have doubts about it, my guides get pissed off at me all the time because I’m always asking for confirmation or searching for something, but really all I know now is that if I make all the right choices, and he does too, then we will become what we will be, but for now I guess I feel isolated in that.

I won’t get into the whole negative side of knowing your future spouse, unless some asks me to lmao, it’s certainly too much for this already too long rant.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk xoxo

[hwaightme]

Your fan, Wooyoung (part 1)

(part 2) (your fan ml)

🍰 pairing: wooyoung x baker!/cafeowner!reader 🍰 genre: romance, fluff, social media vibes, very soft 🍰 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if wooyoung was stanning you 🍰 wordcount: 4.0k 🍰 warnings/tags: maybe language, a tad suggestive, ateez chaotic energy, wooyoung what are you watching boi, e-girls mention with yunho hints, time to vacuum the lawn to catch gossip, ateez wingmen, wooyoung falls fast, reader and wooyoung are both flirts, cooking, baking, mention of food/eating, lmk if anything else! 🍰 a/n: Hello everyone!!! HAPPY RELEASE OF HALAZIA (omg 10M+ views on YT!!!) and SPIN OFF: FROM THE WITNESS <3 and a Happy New Year!!!! (at least, very very soon :)) here is the next part of the Your fan, ___ series, for Wooyoung!!! Hope you enjoy, big hugs and all reblogs, asks and likes appreciated <3

The first time Wooyoung 'met' you, was through his For You Page on TikTok.

He had his own private account for quite some time, watching mainly various dance trends, various food creators and cooking tips, in preparation for this Korean Chef certification.

Yes it was not actually practice or real revision, and probably way out of what he was supposed to be looking into, but scrolling through the specially curated videos was way more... addictive.

And during one such scrolling session, whilst sitting in a styling chair before a fansign event, he stumbled across one of your videos. Better yet, this particular video did not even feature your face, only your hands moving ingredients.

And your mellifluous voice, sweeter than the strawberry shortcake you were making.

As Wooyoung raised the phone to his ear to catch the audio better, he was taken aback when he heard a quiet, lofi version of one of his group's songs serving as background music to you.

NOW you were DEFINITELY on his radar. Bringing his phone almost to his nose, he clicked onto your account. You were full of surprises - you had a very large following, and an extensive selection of videos, with some of them definitely having gone viral.

There were baking videos, coffee-making content... there were some tours of a cafe... then another... And after looking through a little further, he stumbled upon a video of... you.

You, beaming into the camera as you were making an announcement about a new cafe of yours opening. Clicking away, he checked for any descriptions, and sure enough, he found a link to an about you page, that turned out to be an official site for your cafe chain, "dream-ity", now in five locations, with five locations around the Seoul National Capital Area.

If he had to choose a word to describe how he saw you from first impression, it would probably be 'soft'. A walking ray of sunshine as a person.

He went back to the video announcement, rewatching it. As he was drifting off into dreamland, barely controlling his heart eyes, his stylist peeked at the screen, nodding as she recognised the person on the screen.

"Oh you are watching Y/N?"

"Yes! Just found her, actually, do you know her?"

"Oh yeah! She is super famous on TikTok actually, and recently started a YouTube channel with more vlog-style content. If you are into... it, I highly recommend." she explained with a wink, giving a lock of Wooyoung's hair one final spray before tapping his shoulders to announce that she was done.

"Okay, thank you~" he sing-songed, hopping from his chair, spinning around to take a look at the word completed once more.

He returned to his screen, and smiled at himself, making a note to look you up later. As Wooyoung was called up to make final preparations for the signing, he tapped follow on your account, and liked the announcement video.

The second time he 'met' you, was when he had finally gotten the chance to simply laze on the couch at the dorms, laptop on his stomach, chin pressed flat against his chest.

He was feeling the need for some comfort, and remembered the suggestion of his stylist to find you on YouTube. Just searching up 'dream-ity' was enough. And there it was. Your channel. Your videos. You. A lot of you. Smiling, baking, focused as you did the perfect matcha pour to complete a latte, paired with an elegant matcha crepe cake.

Your concentrated face instantly became Wooyoung's favourite, his heart melting as you piped the most intricate flowers onto a layered cake.

He caught himself. Caught the woah. Since when was he, the master of sexy performance, so SOFT?

He decided to take a step back for a bit. Convince himself that it was just another creator, just another person out there doing their thing and-

Oh no you were good. You were really good at what you did. So good in fact, that you were a certified patisserie chef who had competed, and WON trophies before. All that, and you appeared to be humbleness itself.

Just out there, in your cafe(s), having the time of your life explaining step by step how to get puff pastry just right. Quoting 'The Great British Bake Off' was one of your favourite things apparently, so naturally Wooyoung noted that down on his phone. As one totally did if they were just 'admiring skill'.

On hour two of watching your content, he started picking up on your micro habits.

The way in which you brushed your hair out of your face with your lower arm, wrist bent ever so slightly so as to not get flour on your face.

How you bit your lip just a little as you were balancing a loaded tray of goodies while taking them to bake in the oven.

How your eyes practically shined as you delved into the history of a given dessert or bake or literally anything. Like in one of your non-baking videos, you were happily babbling away about various aesthetically pleasing cafes you visited while on holiday in Busan.

Wooyoung was on a train to paradise when a wild San appeared and got him in a headlock. Letting out a high-pitched yelp he slammed the laptop shut and attempted to fight his friend off, failing miserably.

"Oooooooh, Woo, so naughty, are you watching porn in the dorms? In broad daylight?"

"No what the hell San, I have enough of you walking around the dorms naked."

"So now I am your wet dream material?"

"Yes baby, now come and give us a kiss~" Wooyoung pouted and finally was able to scare San off as he began to make aggressive smooching noises in his ear.

"OKAY MAN I GOT IT NOW SPILL THE TEA."

"What tea?" Wooyoung played coy, twirling a lock of hair around his finger and gazing off to the side.

"Ahem, to quote the legends, 'bro who got you smiling like that?'" San flung himself onto the sofa, nearly knocking his friend and the laptop off, making Wooyoung fly towards it in a panic.

The commotion also brought forth a curious pair of ears, Seonghwa stepping out into the corridor with a lint roller and a rag in hand, making it a point that apparently, exactly right now was the best time to start cleaning a specific spot of the corridor. Hongjoong also did the unthinkable and JOINED Seonghwa in cleaning, albeit a lot less enthusiastically, moving a dry rag back and forth with his foot, arms crossed.

Soon enough Wooyoung noticed that, thanks to San's very gossip-promising question, the rest of the members were also suddenly making their respective appearances and occupying themselves with menial or highly questionable tasks.

Yunho and Jongho had made a beeline for the kitchen, with the former browsing the top shelves of all the cabinets, opening each door with the speed of a sloth, and the latter pouring the tallest glass of water that was in the house, moving in slow motion.

Mingi opened his door wide open, and after peering out to check that nothing had been revealed yet, lied back down on his bed, but continuously raising his head as if repositioning an antenna.

But Yeosang was what did it for Wooyoung. He sauntered, across the entire living room, with the world's most unperturbed expression on his face, and sat down right in front of him on the floor, staring into his soul, and commanding:

"Spill."

Wooyoung was frozen still bent down from managing to catch the laptop before it fell. There was no getting out of this. It was either he said it all, or it would be 7 and hostage makes one team.

"So, there is this one TikToker right-"

"You say what now?" San interjected, as Wooyoung swore he head Jongho spit out a bit of the water as he tried to stifle a laugh.

"NO it's not like the buss it thing, we're long past that."

"Uh-huh, as if..." Seonghwa mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes.

"No really!" Wooyoung was getting fired up, enjoying the attention that he now had. Standing up on the couch, he began gesturing with the laptop as though he was a lecturer.

"Anyways. It is very wholesome. It is a baking and cafe account. Really aesthetically pleasing. The creator also has a YouTube channel, and she-"

"Ah so it IS a SHE!!!!" San clapped his hands together, as if celebrating a discovery.

"Yes, ha-ha fun-ny. Anyways, literally all of her content is amazing. So I have been watching it."

"For the past two hours." Yunho commented, finally shutting all the cupboards

"Dude and you like e-girls!" Wooyoung retorted.

"HEY that was totally uncalled for and so not true!"

"choke me like you hate me BUT YOU LOVE ME-" Mingi began a dramatic rendition of a well known song, progressively getting louder, as Yunho flew across the apartment and into his room, with a battle cry of "IT'S TIME TO STOP", ready for violence.

"Ah never would I think to see the day that my trouble child would like a wholesome, down to earth girl."

"She's a badass." Wooyoung smirked, at Hongjoong, who's expression immediately fell. "She literally owns baking competitions and five cafes. Basically a girl boss in the best way possible."

"That is one heck of a badass... like... Shiber level badass." Yeosang mused, eliciting a round of laughter from the other members.

After twisting his hands and forcing him to show them some of your videos, Wooyoung had been tasked with a mission to go to your cafe under penalty of cleaning the dorms under Seonghwa's supervision, using the eldest member's method.

He agreed initially, for the excitement of it and because, come on, he was the king of flirting and performances. How many killing points in choreography were his? But as a day turned into a week, and then two, and he was still merely a viewer who was liking all of your content, the challenge was hanging over his head like a guillotine.

The members ceaselessly taunted him with the Cleaning Contract, with Seonghwa taking particular pleasure in describing intricate routines for how he would want the smallest segment of the apartment cleaned, emphasising that if something were to be done even a tiny bit wrong, Wooyoung would be redoing the entire thing.

Finally, one sunny day the fear tactics worked, and officially done with his member's attacks, Wooyoung got up extra early, dressed up to the 10s, only to cover it with something more inconspicuous, and completed the look with truly anonymous cap and mask.

While on the way to one of your cafes, he wanted to slap himself. Firstly, what in the world was he doing, travelling to an unchecked location way before its opening time, and how did he even know that this was the cafe you were going to be at?

Way to go. He was a planner extraordinaire. But seeing as he had nothing else to do, might as well have some fun and go "you-scouting".

To his disappointment, the first location definitely did not have you anywhere in sight, so like the wind he ran back to the metro, praying that no one was going to recognise him along his journey.

Whilst catching his breath, he looked up at the 'dream-ity' logo on the second storefront, muttering a colourful collection of vocabulary under his breath - again, you were nowhere in sight.

A brief panic washed over him as he thought - what if you had been in the back of the cafe, or had just come in? And he was already on his way to his third spot - his final, considering that it was already way past opening time, and slowly becoming a risk for him.

Goyang-si, his home city. He prayed that it would not let him down, being able to house his chaos for so long.

By grace of everything good in the world, as he was ambling towards the cafe, part of him already having given up, and laughing at his boyish determination, he looked up and there you were.

Laughing with a co-worker about something or other, them being indoors, and you outside, watering some potted plants.

It felt like a dream - suddenly Wooyoung understood why you named the cafe how you did.

He checked the street for any passers by. None. Your cafe - no one except the people working. He checked his phone - destiny decided it was his day today: this particular outlet was one that opened the latest out of all, and actually he had managed to arrive half an hour early.

Before you saw him he stealthily turned the corner, and checked himself in the window of an empty car. Removing some of the clothing items to look more like his stylish, dandy self, removing his mask, and readjusting the cap to let some of his flaming red locks show and frame his face, he was ready to impress.

With the swagger that he would have on the stage, he stepped out of hiding, and took course right to your cafe. Your co worker had left you alone to finish tending to the flowers.

Wooyoung stood a bit away behind you, thinking of just how cool he would be when you beat him to it with a simple:

"Sorry, we're not open yet."

And you had not even turned to look at him. His jaw dropped. Well that was a healthy dose of reality. He bit his lip, not quite sure how to proceed.

He hummed, pensive and tried:

"Well I was hoping you could make an exception?"

"And what makes you- oh." As you turned, you were in for a shock of your life.

There he was. In person. Your bias. Of all people.

You contemplated slapping yourself but that would just be the strangest first impression. Deep breaths, deep breaths. You probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Quick, say something-

"If you don't mind helping with a couple of things."

Again, you were dying inside. Was that really the best thing you could say? Well, at least it was quick.

Wooyoung found your reaction adorable, and the quip even more so. Judging by your initial reaction, it was safe for him to confirm that you definitely knew who he was, but your daring offer just drew him in. He wanted to see what other buttons he could press, and how you were off camera. Off his phone or laptop screen.

"With pleasure. Are you making your signature mille-feuille today?" He asked, and sent a wink your way.

Oh. Oh he watched your content. Oh he knew what you liked to make.

"I think it needs a taste test, want a bite?" You responded, your voice dropping unintentionally low.

Well today you learned that your mouth was disconnected from your mind. And that Wooyoung seemed to be quite giddy about that.

"Exactly what I've been craving, sweetheart."

Wooyoung was burning up, and was grateful that his ears were covered by his cap, though his face was probably starting to match his hair. You probably thought he was too forward, or too pushy or too much-

"Then come on in sugar, and take some chairs down from the tables while you're at it." You instructed, beaming at him.

He could get used to this. Quickly. Like a sugar rush.

So he visited. And visited again. And again. Not caring a single bit that he had to wake up at a strange hour instead of getting more sleep. Not caring that he had to take his tired body all the way to the cafe in Goyang-si. He loved these quiet hours of the morning with you.

And definitely appreciated that you told your employees to arrive after official opening hours. So that you could just spend time together and talk about everything.

On that first day when he went back, which was much later than he had initially planned, he had attempted to cover up the rendezvous he blurted that he was visiting his family. But that did not slide, since San was immediately threatening him by pointing at his phone and boasting his ability to phone Wooyoung's entire family tree, and Seonghwa simply opened the door of the closet that housed the vacuum cleaner.

Truthfully, had he just told them that he succeeded in finding you, speaking to you and even getting your number, the evening would have been much less 'eventful', as the members ended up simply patting him on the back, giving him a round of applause in true ATEEZ sarcastic fashion, and labelling him as "lover boy" and "hopeless romantic". Not that he minded at all - actually Wooyoung felt it had a nice ring to it, and showed these traits with pride.

Quickly enough it had also permeated into his numerous K-Pop Idol Profiles on social media, when during a couple of interviews his members poked fun at him by hinting that he was as such, testing him as to what kind of excuses and stories he would make up to not reveal his connection to you for safety. He now apparently liked romance kdramas, which was questionable, but was the best he could think of in the spur of the moment.

With both of you being public figures, you had made it your top priority to ensure that no one intruded into what was only made for two. At first, you thought that Wooyoung would crack at a certain point, perhaps by accident, but as it turned out he was a LOT more responsible and considerate than his demeanour would suggest.

Even when he had simply sent you flowers to the door, he did not include any information that could in any way guide someone to you and him, instead ordering a series of emojis printed on a card that only you would be able to decrypt.

As you got to know each other better, you had grown more comfortable and began to delve into each other's deeper backgrounds, including how you came to be who you were, what fears and hopes you had, the list went on.

You had revealed to him that initially you had been lined up to be trained as a chef in traditional Korean Cuisine, to follow in the footsteps of your father. Although you could appreciate the art, and to appease your father had indeed trained for a short while, you soon realised that you could not bear being in the exact same line of work as him.

You did not want to be known simply as his daughter. As a shadow that was 'still learning, and had a long way to go', as he had informed you after you spent a 12 hour day working at his Michelin star restaurant.

The constant reprimands and harshness eventually made you crack and so you turned to your safe haven - baking and dessert making. While your father had seen only the one side of you that he wanted to shape, you had concealed your efforts to work part time when you could, to go to night classes, slowly but surely building up to an actual degree.

Once you had 'quiet quit' your Korean cuisine path and had proof under your belt that you could succeed in the 'sweeter side of life' , things became easier. You allowed yourself to just do the bare minimum, could not care less if your father did not praise you, and became much more liberal with your schedule - to make more time for creating a future that you actually wanted.

When your father had finally found out about what he had called your 'betrayal', you were prepared, and without much else to say simply gave him a 90 degree bow and sped off to Busan, where you had gotten to know an affluent professional, from whom you had further learned.

Fast forward some time later, and you had found yourself on an exchange programme in France - the loneliest time in your life, but it definitely raised you to the next level, and upon your return, 'dream-ity' was only a month away from being launched.

And now, well, you had built your own happiness, were continuously expanding business and experimenting, did masterclasses and ran popular social media accounts, with no plans to stop.

Wooyoung could only stare at you in admiration. This kind of perseverance and passion was something that he valued deeply and strived for for himself, and to see it in you was simply stunning.

He thought back to his initial impression of you, and realised how wrong he had been when labelling you just as a 'happy-go-lucky' girl who just existed in a soft alternative universe and just baked cakes all day. No, there was always something new to learn about you, from your life to your beautiful mind.

Wooyoung had become a fan of yours because he was interested in exploring something he could not do and make. He had stayed when he had heard how in love you were with what you did. And now, he fell in deep because of how well he understood you and respected you, and you did the same for him.

You two were passionate people, no doubt about that. Maybe at first one might think you two could cause a wildfire. But the maturity and level-headedness you had promoted in one another was worthy of respect.

At least when it was just you two.

Because the members were at their wits' end. He had gotten even louder, even more flamboyant, and made every effort to be the funniest guy in the room which, to be fair, did work phenomenally during quite a few of their events. But when that translated to auto-pilot loved up chaos mode in the dorms... it was a hurricane.

So they banished him out of the dorms until he came back with you being officially his girlfriend. And boy was he in trouble. It was nearing closing time for you, and it was much busier out. Thankfully, you had a back door, and let him through it, so he was safe. He waited for you until the cafe was shut, and ended up inspecting a photo of you and your father that you had up on a wall. For some reason, he looked very familiar.

When he finally figured it out, he was in for the shock of a lifetime. As his face went pale, and he was not responding to you, you got more and more concerned that Wooyoung fell ill, but all cleared up when he raised his own phone, with a photo to show you.

In the photo was him in a line chef's outfit, standing right next to your father. You and Wooyoung erupted into maniacal laughter until tears were threatening to roll down your cheeks and your ribs hurt.

"So I really took the traditional route here and met your father before I met you huh?"

That day you had to thank your father for the most unexpected thing. For the fact that somehow, by learning this interesting crossover, this provoked Wooyoung to ask you out officially (he was never going to tell about how he had a whole troop at home ready to unleash guerrilla tactics). You had poked fun at him that it was because he actually wanted to date your dad, but Wooyoung kissed you in exchange for your silence, so it was a done deal.

It was already quite late at night when Wooyoung finally thought it was necessary for him to come back, but little did either of you know, the future held a lot more obstacles than you could have imagined, with a photo of Wooyoung leaving the cafe past closing hours rapidly making rounds on social media the very next day.

[shinesurge]

i can never remember how long different print stories are Supposed to be and while i was looking it up today i stumbled across some editor with a blog who did the recipe thing where she wrote a memoir before getting to the relevant info and, hilariously, she was recounting a time where she rolled her eyes at a potential new novelist whose story was over 200k words

"nobody will ever read all that, even self-published AND even unprinted that's an unreadable story there's no audience for something longer than 100k at the MOST"

people on ao3 chew through that shit in an afternoon, i barely even look at something if it's under 90 and just judging by the statistics i'm not even a little bit in the minority. half of this website read house of leaves (177k) just because a random youtube video mentioned it and we built a book club around moby dick (209k!!) just for fun!! just killin time!! istg is there another industry where the people picking what makes it to store shelves are more disconnected from what people actually want lmaooo

[scarabjewels]

Jack and the Cuckoo-clock heart: I Truly Think The Movie “Fixed” The Book

I was around 13 to 15 when I first came across a 360p movie on a pirated DVD filled with random animated movies the vendors could download, and it was this goth punk aesthetic 3d movie entitled "Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart". It was the most visually bizarre media I watched in a long time. It was hauntingly beautiful, it reminded me of Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland", specifically the White Queen's kingdom. I loved it so much that I fell into a research phase all about it. Matthias is a fucking lucky author, literally a vocalist of a band then they get to make a movie out of it and make music. I still rewatch it and love to consume video reactions and essays about in YouTube, such as BionicPig and RosMo.

I originally intended to write this movie about its similarity to classic but tragic love stories like "Romeo and Juliet" and "Cyrano". But then I decided to read the book and the stark contrast of it should be WRITTEN.

I will be writing 3 parts: 1) The differences of the book and the movie, 2) what they kept and made better, and 3) things I observed that aren't talked about enough

I just finished the book in one sitting right as I am writing this. I have to say, I was not prepared how adult it was.

PART 1: THE DIFFERENCES

Let's start with major observations and comparisons.

Book: Jack mentioning Acacia’s name leading into a lost of temper with a fight with Joe makes sense

Movie: Jack and Joe’s fight starting from a postcard doesn't make sense

Coincidentally, they apparently have the same birthday in the movie and Miss Acacia send Joe a postcard. Jack stumbled across it one day, and gets into a petty fit before ultimately getting into a fight with Joe. It is exactly what I see 14 year olds doing honestly, but ultimately it did not make sense

In the book, Joe (movie as well) warns Jack to not mention as so.much utter Miss Acacia’s name. After years of pent up anger, Jack decides to mention her name then a brawl starts. Now that’s a fight that makes sense and you can still see teenagers doing exactly that.

Book: Joe and Acacia were past lovers. Joe replaces Jack's job as a Frightener at the Ghost Train, and Joe uses their past to taunt Jack.

Movie: Joe and Acacia are seemingly old friends. While Joe sets out to destroy Jack's image, he unkowingly serves as a messenger of vital information.

Joe's intention in both media are the same, to destroy Jack's reputation and win Miss Acacia’s heart. In the book, he tells her about the injury (just that) and she confront Jack about this. In the book, Jack stumbles on his words first before dumping everything that happened. They get into an argument, with Acacia falling silent as he explains everything. They said their I-love-yous before separating. Acacia is clearly confused at the truth, which is why she fell silent as she left, on the contrary to her very fiery personality (it's ×10 in the books, added with extreme stubbornness too). Joe told him the next morning about how she came to him crying and that they hugged and kissed like they once did before, provoking Jack to charge at him. Believing his lies that Acacia in fact had some sort of little affair with Joe, his jealousy continues to sever his and Acacia’s relationship after another confronting argument about Joe's supposed truth.

In the movie, this issue was fixed, well I found it an issue. Instead of taunting with lies, Joe manipulates the truth a little differently, with a suprisingly huge amount of truth too. He told her that Jack’s handicap, his heart, it dangerous to detriment of others and himself, as he is capable of injuring anyone when he goes out of control. He points at his eye patched eye as proof. He tells her about the three rules that Jack must follow in order to stay alive. This makes Acacia’s argument actually have substance instead of just an act of violence. She couldn't bear the thought of him dying, so she pushes him away, telling him not to love her. The injury also came up in the argument, which Jack replies quickly, as opposed in the book. He explains it concisely, saying that it was an accident and that he did not want that to happen, all the while rebutting each of Acacia’s accusatory questions. That's what really solved the issue in the book. There was actual stakes as to why the argument is happening and Jack is standing up for himself, even at the person he loves. He apologizes more in the movie than in the books, and Acacia is a lot more kinder.

I was really losing it when I read the chapters of them arguing in the book. No one was apologizing. Literally none. Acacia didn't exactly listen to Jack, she was trapped with him believing his “lies” and had a hard time seeing what the actual truth was, which leads me to the next difference.

Book: Acacia truly believed that his clock heart was a joke, even when Jack showed her how it worked (and it lead to them …doing it), until the very end

Movie: Acacia was sold the moment he let her explore his clock heart and he trusted his key to her.

As I said, she found it hard to believe him, with what Joe told him. But, in the movies, she did actually hear him out, keenly at that, and it hurt her that she couldn't be with him because it might potentially kill him. At least in the movie, her yells of telling him to stop that actually accounts to something, as in telling him to stop getting angry or else he'll hurt himself more.

Book: (Maybe it more of an opinion?) I don't think Jack and Acacia were in love. It was too heavily sexual and secretive, and the things they share about themselves just lead to more sexual escapades than actual bonding. They strive on heated moments too fast and too often. Acacia had commitment issues from the start to the end.

Movie: They really feel like two teens falling in love. They share sweeter moments, emotionally sharing, have trouble with setting boundaries and communicating like any teenager, and actually ENJOY EACH OTHERS COMPANY.

Book Jack and Acacia were just incompatible. As far as I could see, it was not the kind of love Jack wanted. He liked the bare minimum because it would mean that he could keep seeing the girl he pursued and dreamt of so long that he was so blinded to who she is and how she treated him. She loved him, but she really failed to really be in an actual relationship with him. I understand that some people value their privacy, but when you are kept secret and essentially treated like a convenience, that's not a suitable relationship of love, much less respect. She did not respect his beliefs. She was volatile in reaction, and I personally believe that Joe did not lie about her having a little affair with him. She never really claimed that it did not happen, only telling Jack “you really think I'd go back to him”. In the end, she really did. So, I don't think Joe was lying. Yep, Jack put her too high of a pedestal. He essentially worshipped her. She was basically not human to him. It was already such a failure that I think their ending in the book made sense. He also admits this near the epilogue, that he wanted it to work out so much, that it just didn’t. Acacia wanted to supposedly "keep away from gossip," but that changed when she married Joe in the book, whom she is openly affectionate even when she admittedly was still in love with Jack. The minute Jack came back, despite her feelings, she also left him without saying anything, as well as Joe. She...was a red flag, it was clear she found commitments hard, leading Jack (unaware of his identity) on when he came, even when she was married and was also in love with another man. She might have her reasons, but she also left Joe in the end, so YEAH NOPE.

In the movie, Acacia was significantly a better character, with some flaws from her book counterpart. She was honest about her feelings toward Jack, yet chose to honor her feeling for her first love. She was clear with him, up front. Jack confessed eventually, and answers her question with honesty. They have chemistry and as soon as he confessed, she started to open up to him and he did as well. Their exchange is really good, and very plausible as two teens in love. A good definition of young love, if anything they were simultaneously more mature but impulsive than in the book, ironically the reason why they are compatible in the movie. Their argument had an element of out of love (for their selves and each other). Their ending was that their love was really meant to be their best one yet. Jack's life was worthwhile, despite it being short. A beautiful illustration of “it's better to have loved and lost, than not have loved at all”. But he loved and won in my opinion.

Book: Jack's clock heart was a placebo, representing Madeleine's attachment to him, wanting to protect him even when she knew he was strong enough to live without her or the clock.

Movie: Jack's clock heart was an actual device that kept him alive and more than just Madeleine's attachment to him.

This was so disappointing in the book. I was upset. I wasn't upset that Acacia and Jack didn't end up together, I was upset that what she was telling him the whole time was TRUE. I was at Jack's side until the nurse told him everything. I felt so betrayed. His family betrayed him basically. It hurt me that Madeleine had that unhealthy attachment to him, she could've let him live a normal life. That was painful.

That's why the movie was better. Jack actually couldn't live normally at all, he was a genuine handicapped person. The stakes were REAL. The ending was sad, but it had the perfect build up, that it was worthwhile. Madeleine didn't betray him, and she died trying to protect him.

(Yeah, I realize that I wrote too long of a review but I will be posting the other 2 parts very soon)

[floaromaxtowns]

For the fandom edition asks, can I ask for G, I and Q <3

Ask me: FANDOM EDITION [Accepting]

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

OKAY SO I started shipping all the way back in 2006-7 when Youtube was the new hot shit around, and I was an itty bitty kid on early internet. Whom had Pokemon and Sonic as her main big interests at the time. I'm forever thankful for those old as fuckkkkkk tribute videos, with the biggest bops from that era. Although, I'm unable to pinpoint which ship I stumbled upon first, so I consider I started shipping them at around the same time: Rival Barry/Dawn (Twinleafshipping) and Shadow the hedgehog/Tikal the echidna (Shadikal).

FUN FACT- I have been SO long into Twinleafshipping that when I first saw it, Barry had YET to receive his official name for either Japanese and English versions. Gen 4 had YET to be released in the west, and we still didn't even know all the pokemon species introduced in it. So, the fandom nicknamed him as Damion, and for the longest time that's how we called him by. Until his official name was revealed.

And my very first queer ship was Alucard/Richter Belmont from Castlevania. That was mindblowing for sb who lived in a country, where even to this day same-sex couples and lgbtq topics are treated as a taboo.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I got into Tumblr all the way back in 2015 BECAUSE of my hyperfixation on League of Legends, and by 2017 I was done with the entire franchise. I can't say I blame tumblr entirely for me falling out of love with LoL, there were a number of factors that caused me to distance myself from it (the fact I had stopped playing the game altogether, bc my computer couldn't run it anylonger). But I can say that LoL's fandom is already infamously toxic as it is, and on Tumblr that shit becomes unhinged. And I'm certain that since the inception of Arcane, that fandom must have got even worse.

The only reason we don't hear that much about it nowadays is bc, there is now actual competition for the prize of 'the worst community'. Genshin Impact somehow managed to speedrun those levels of toxicity and unhingedness.

It was through LoL's fandom on tumblr I first saw the lengths, some not-sound of mind individuals are willing to go, to """defend""" their ships. It was the first time I saw anyone receive genuine hate and death threats, just bc they didn't sign up to the popular and most wide spread ship. And I heard through a friend of mine who is still into LoL, that side of the community truly became the worst, thanks to Arcane. Bc now you got a bunch of motherfuckers who never touched the game, wanting to weight in on shit from ppl who aren't interested in the animated show.

Im gonna spread hate on League of Legends, Arcane and anything else related to it LOL

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

It's really difficult for me to drop any ship... At all. So much so, I don't recall dropping any ship in my previous fandoms (Pokemon/Star wars/Castlevania). I may not focus on some ships as compared to others, but that's mainly due to me likely having folks to talk about another ship. But I'm still most definetely a shipper.

As such, I think the very first case of me genuinely dropping a ship happened in the Saint Seiya fandom LOL. I've mentioned it a few times, I shipped Sha.ka/M.u for maybe at most 15 days. It was literally the very first ship I came across, and I genuinely loved how pretty ppl's works for the ship were. Then, the more I dug into StS' lore & content. The more I realized how this couple has little to NO actual substance to offer (by which I mean those two characters literally barely interact with one another, in the entire series).

It actually took me awhile to find out about Aldebaran/Mu, and when I did...

Nevermore looked back at it since LOL.

My theory as to why that ship is massively popular bc most of its fans likely are going off their really vague memories of watching the show, in their childhoods. And solely bc those characters look really good together (I'll give it that, their aesthetic is nice. But that's all you get bc LOL). And they feel entitled to crapping/disrespecting other ships, just bc popular ship brainrot behavior uwu.

[911-on-abc]

oooh Country Music AU plz!

also tagging @pirrusstuff and @elgascreamslikehell because y'all also asked about it!

it's super funny to me how this is the WIP that everyone is asking about when it's the only WIP on the list that I actually haven't started writing yet 🫣

Here is the gist though: Eddie was taught how to play the guitar by his Abuelo, and they would both play together for his Abuela because his Abuelo also taught him that music is an expression of love. Eddie loves it, but even more, he is good, like crazy good.

He was taught classical guitar, but also influenced by American and Mexican folk music (i'm talking Chet Atkins, but probably also something like Los Madrugadores*) along with flamenco. I can totally see him having a Rodrigo y Gabriela** phase as a teenager, but I might just be pulling a little too much from my own experiences here hahaha

any-fucking-ways. so Eddie is good. but music does not pay the bills, and he never even thought that it was something that he could pursue, because his parents set the expectation that he was going to go to school and then work for his father and provide. Then Shannon gets pregnant and he ships off to Afghanistan, so what does it matter?

Somehow while he is in Afghanistan he gets a hold of a guitar and starts recording videos of himself playing songs for Christopher, because music is love and, God, he loves Christopher. Now we all know that Eddie is not the most... adept with technology. He's not really aware that Youtube videos can be seen by anyone who comes across them. He just uploads "video-9-20-2012.mp4" to the website before he goes to sleep (because the wifi is shit and it takes forever to process) and emails the link to Shannon in the morning.

And maybe his channel gets a couple hundred followers over the years and his videos are viewed a little more than that, but Eddie isn't paying attention. However, the quality starts to get better when he is in El Paso because he keeps up the habit. If he can't spend that much time around his son, at least Christopher will have this.

Then one day someone stumbles across his channel and tweets about it and one of his videos goes viral and the numbers go up and they keep going up and Sophia freaks out because 'Eddie you're fucking trending!' and Eddie doesn't really get Internet fame, but he starts getting offers from agents and managers and maybe this could be his ticket out of El Paso...

this got a lot longer than I thought so I'm going to share more in another ask!!

ask me about my wips!

*I'm not super familiar with Mexican or Mexican-American Folk music just yet. Info in English is kind of sparse and my Spanish is Spanglish more than anything else...

**I grew up listening to Rodrigo y Gabriela and they are soooo fucking good. their music is like rock music meets acoustic guitar meets heavy metal. I'm still pissed that my dad went to their concert a couple months ago without me!!!

[cagedchoices]

GET TO KNOW THE AUTHOR.

name:  mel 

pronouns:  they/them/theirs

preference of communication:  mainly tumblr IMs these days, but i have discord and wire and occasionally i will drop my info on tumblr, give it out privately if asked, or add if someone else is looking to add. it can take me a while to work up the courage to message someone in the first place and i'm really... not good at the usual social cues of "hey how are you/good how are you?/what have you been up to?" but i'm usually game to chat about other stuff

most active muse:  Caleb. i've had a lot of other muses but he's been the one i've been most consistently able to write in the slightly over 3 years since i first started writing him.

experience/how many years:  i had a couple false starts trying to set up rp blogs for Samwise Gamgee from the Lord of the Rings trilogy and Wirt from Over the Garden Wall back in 2014 and 2015? but i just never really managed to get off the ground and start writing in-character for them because i was super heavily intimidated by the rpc and too nervous to approach anyone. finally in january 2017 i stumbled across a parody of Portal 2 on youtube called the Unauthorized Musical and discovered that there were already a handful of muns on tumblr who had picked up characters specifically based on that production and regularly hosted rabbit streams where they'd watch the video again together and welcomed anyone who wanted to join to do so. i noticed nobody was really writing any antagonistic characters against them so i wound up setting up a blog for GLaDOS and following everybody i met during the stream and that was essentially how i became hooked on tumblr rp. i've been kicking around on and off for about 7 years now.

best experience: there's so many to choose from, but i think i'd have to say my best experience was when i started writing Caleb. i was just fresh off watching Westworld season 3, i was actually feeling more compelled at the time to try and write either Dolores, Maeve, Clementine or Teddy but i felt like i wouldn't do any of 'em justice. i ended up making a sideblog to my old multimuse after deciding i would try writing Caleb, and that's where i almost immediately connected with melody/aworldofyou/copiesofme and was enthusiastically introduced to a bunch of other muns residing in the tiny but mighty westworld rpc. 🥰

rp pet peeves: one is pretty much the same as Sandra said; making a new main blog in the spur of the moment. exhausting all energy on curating a distinct aesthetic for icons/banners/promos/custom themes/etc, and then completely losing interest in a week or 2 without ever getting to write that character. and then more often than not the process gets repeated down the line until that person either becomes overwhelmed from having too many blogs to manage or too many memes to answer or too many starters to write.

i also don't particularly love memes that promote making rp into a popularity contest or seeking an almost constant stream of validation from other people. things like "send a _ and i'll rate your blog on a scale of 1 to 10/using a scale template" i try to stay far away from. arguably every notification you get on tumblr is an instant dopamine hit just like all social media is but. idk there was just something about those blog rating/character rating memes that made them feel more addictive to send and receive than like, taking the time to give someone your honest opinion on how you feel about them as a person or on their writing and characters and such.

another similar thing is reblog chains to the effect of 'reblog this if you actually like following me/seeing me on the dash.' i really don't like these. there's a level of self-deprecation and guilt-tripping involved and when people already feel awfully low and vulnerable to negative self image this just makes it worse. especially when people post with side commentary like 'oh nobody will reblog this from me lol.' and i don't think they're always necessarily aware that this is manipulative behavior, but...it is. even just the way the source post is typically phrased, it preys on insecurity and it makes me sad when i do see mutuals reblogging posts written like this because then i'm like. just sitting there thinking "i'm not a spambot so...if i didn't like following you or seeing you on my dash i would not be following you??"

other forms of reblog chains like 'reblog to give the person you're reblogging from a hug' or 'reblog this and say something nice about the person you reblogged from' are far better in my opinion because they don't inherently contain that same level of insecurity. they put the focus on lifting up and supporting the person you're reblogging from instead of centering on yourself.

plots or memes: i like both but i am very much a memes person because i feel like i'm not very good at plotting.

long or short replies: i don't really have a preference! but lately my thing generally seems to be letting the length creep up so my replies just get longer and longer over time. i never expect anyone to match me, but like. the one thing that would crush my soul is me posting like. 5-7 paragraphs and getting back a one sentence or one word response 😭

are you like your muses: i have a few things in common with caleb, one of them being that we're both neurodivergent and just trying to exist in a society where it is typically seen as undesirable to be classed as such. i stumbled across a venn diagram a while back comparing and contrasting common traits associated with ptsd and autism and it has given me a lot to take into consideration in the way that i portray caleb

tagged by: @k4ndall

tagging: @gunslingcr @paddyfuck @weirdwonderful @killjoysanonymous @prettydead & you (not labeled)

[konnorhasapen]

Hey~~ for the Redacted Ask Game - Freelancer, Starlight, D.A.M.N. 💞

OMG HIIIII- (I literally was not expecting anyone to ask me anything💀💀 but I'm so happy people are :D) thankies for the ask!!

Freelancer (what is a skill you'd like to learn and be good at?)— I've bounced around interests quite a bit, and I know some stuff and can do that stuff decently, I'd like to think^^; the thing that I've been hellbent on recently is bass! I've been playing guitar for a few years now and I'm hoping that gives me at least a little but of a buff when learning how to play bass :)

Starlight (what is your favorite constellation and/or planet? What's your zodiac sign?)— My favorite constellation is Orion. I'd like to give a super detailed reason as to why, but I don't think I can. I don't know very much about the constellations—though I'd love to learn (I love learning about anything I don't know or understand tbh-)—but Orion is one of very few constellations I can see right from my backyard, and every time I look at it, I just feel kind of comforted? Little hard to explain and kinda dumb, but I'll stick with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

D.A.M.N. (how did you get into Redacted?)— This is a really funny story to me actually- it's pretty long so I'll put it under the cut.

I've gone most of my life being subject to my older sister and her incessant obsession with all things vampires and werewolves, so I grew to hate the whole genre altogether. Not to mention, as I got older and was still being forced to sit down and watch The Vampire Diaries with her (otherwise she'd cry and accuse me of not loving or caring about her and make me feel kinda shitty, so I just sucked it up lmao) I came to realize that it was just... horribly written. I'd say horribly acted, but I don't think I can fully blame them for the god-awful teen angst that was poured into that show by the tons. Anyway- when I got into the whole asmr rp thing, I was mostly just listening to normal boring domestic stuff (and comfort for trauma and all that blah-blah-bull). One day, I stumbled across a recommended video from Mr. Redacted ASMR (at the time) and was... less than interested when I saw it was an audio of a "feisty werewolf boyfriend" so I kinda rolled my eyes and continued with my boring normal human stuff. Then, few days later I'm hit with another Redacted recommendation, but this time it was a "nervous air elemental" I was still a little iffy bc this was the same guy who had the werewolf bf stuff, but I went ahead and added it to my playlist of "listen to later" anyways. And then proceeded to forget about it and never touched it.

Couple days after that, I was hit with yet another Redacted recommendation! And this time around it was "a flirty vampire," so now I was like "jfc, why am I getting this stupid vampire and werewolf crap in my recommended??" Scrolled twice, came across another "nervous air elemental" audio and shrugged as I added it to my list, but then promptly forgot all about it yet again.

It was a month and a half. I was still getting this "Redcated ASMR" guy sprinkled generously throughout my recommendations on the youtubes, so I finally said "fuck it, what the hell is this dude all about." Took a gander through his playlists, rolled my eyes again at all the werewolves and vampires in his most popular audios and decided to still steer clear.

Then, as someone who was evidently a sucker (no pun intended) for a good injury comfort, I was suddenly struck with an offer I was admittedly hesitant to take: "Vampire Tends to Your Injuries." I saw it was by that same Redacted dude. Finally, I said "fuck it" and gave it a shot. And now, here I am; one year later stuck in this rabbit hole I don't think I will ever want to climb out of.

(I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO MENTION THAT IM STILL SO PISSED OFF AT MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T JUST GIVE THE FIRST LASKO AUDIO I CAME ACROSS A LISTEN BC IF I HAD, I GUARANTEE I WOULDVE FALLEN IN LOVE AND GOTTEN TO LISTEN TO THE FRED AND BRIGHT SERIES BC I HAD BEEN GETTING RECOMMENDATIONS AND HAD AUDIOS SITTING IN MY PLAYLIST FOR OVER A FUCKING M O N T H BEFORE I ACTUALLY CAVED FFS-)

[rosatricelibrarian]

Rosatrice Chapters 10-12

If you've stumbled across this post and don't know what this is, just click my blog.

In case you missed it, no transcriptions of Chapters 10-12 exist. I felt it more practical to just summarize their arguments than to make my own transcriptions. Also thought it'd be a way to test if I understood the material.

Chapter 9 Addendum: Umineko as a game

R07 frequently called Umineko a game. KNM takes this description of Umineko and runs with it, saying like many video games, Umineko has to be beaten on the hardest difficulty to get the true ending.

Easy Difficulty Ending: A Witch Did It, Beatrice's Blue Truth

Medium Difficulty Ending: Shkanontrice's Golden Truth

Hardest Difficulty, and the True Ending: Rosatrice's Red Truth

Would you be surprised to know KNM now has a career as a gaming youtuber? Anyway, this is the "3 layers of truth" theory. To access the true ending, you need to beat the final boss. Who's the final boss? Ryukishi07 himself, as represented by Tohya/Ikuko. To defeat the final boss, you need to use the various tools the game gives you: the red truths, Will's solutions, and the contradictions of the Shkanontrice solution. Many people agree Shkanontrice has problems, but insist on it being the intended explanation because of what R07 said, but this is hypocritical. If you can't trust R07 to write an internally consistent mystery, then why would you trust him to also tell the truth?

Interjecting a bit, think of Yoko Taro's games or Persona 4 if it helps you conceptualize all this. Or if you want another indie game that revolves around family abuse of girls: Dreaming Mary.

Chapter 10: Umineko - "Our Confession"

At the time of this video, Our Confession didn't have a full translation, only a summary.

Our Confession opens with Beato discussing how she's writing a story only 1/1000 people will understand, which is a hint to Umineko hiding the truth of Rosatrice. Beato wrote 3 stories and revealed only one, which fits the "3 layers of truth" idea. Shkanontrice is one of these truths, which is why Our Confession strongly supports it.

But Our Confession has a big problem: accomplices. Accomplices are very risky, as they may turn on you, as what appears to happen in the manga explanation of EP 3. For example, in EP 2, there's many occasions in which Rosa is waving a gun around while Shannon is unarmed. How come Rosa doesn't just shoot Shannon and take the gold? Rosa already knows where the gold is and how to get it. Why would Shannon place herself in such a vulnerable position? The more accomplices you have, the higher the risk. The beauty of Rosatrice is that it only has 1 accomplice working for 2 culprits, while Our Confession has a whopping 6 accomplices working for 1 culprit. Rosatrice also has a more realistic depiction of how criminals in a group may behave, with George, Nanjo, and Rosa all getting in each other's way at times. There's also the absurdity of Shannon telling the accomplices that it's all a prank that they're being paid over a million bucks for. Surely that'd raise some red flags among the accomplices that it might not actually be a prank? Shannon is even selling this deal to the Ushiromiyas at gunpoint, why would they trust her?

Another smaller problem is Shannon and Kanon are shown to be Beato's friends, which contradicts how they're enemies for most of the series. When Our Confession's summary came out, a lot of people were confused and had a lot of bad things to say about it. But that's the point: it's an intentionally poorly-written story that acts as a test for players to see if they actually understood Umineko. Do you accept the sloppy storytelling, or do you see it as the red herring that it is?

As an aside, the manga slightly retcons Our Confession. Only Kumasawa/Nanjo think its a prank, while everyone else willfully helps Shannon's killing spree. Looks like R07 thought KNM had a point about the prank deception being silly : P

Chapter 11: Ange's Perspective

KNM admits that not much can be decisively proven about Ange's fate, but gives a theory that he believes best lines up with the red truth. All post-1986 scenes are fiction, it's merely a counter-factual timeline originating from EP 3. In reality: Battler and Eva didn't survive Rokkenjima, Ange died, Ikuko doesn't exist, and bottle forgeries might exist but those aren't the games we're reading about. There's too many red statements that conflict with the 1998 scenes. For example:

"Because of [Battler's] sin, people die. Due to your sin, a great many humans of this island die. No one escapes, all die."

The objection would be this isn't a general statement, this only applies to EP 4. But that makes no sense. The line is about Battler's sin which aren't specific to the 4th game alone. You'd basically be saying the first two sentences are general, but the third is specific. That's arbitrary and would only be done to rationalize the 1998 scenes as actually happening. Another example:

"That's right, I'm Ange!! The Ushiromiya Ange of a world where no one comes home…!! My entire family… never came home from Rokkenjima that day…!!"

You could say that only applies to a fictional Ange and not the "real" Ange, but why would they have different fates? The only red statements concerning Ange's future are things that confirm no one on Rokkenjima survived. One last example:

"Your family, which was made to live in the Golden Land, was destroyed along with it. Your father, mother, and of course Battler…will never return to you again, and will never speak your name again."

The 1998 scenes are infamous for being confusing, due to the presence of magic and various contradictions within the timeline. This is actually a strong hint that they're all fictional. After all, if you admit that something like Ange meeting Featherine and Chick Beatrice was fictional, then why not apply it to the rest of 1998? There's no objective way to decide which 1998 scenes are real and fake. The most objective, simplest interpretation is to adopt this blue truth:

Ange's world is not the real world.

This also extends to EP 8's ??? Magic ending. From an interview about that ending:

R: "You may as well think of this scene as just showing something nice, as well as showing something sinister. A true solution is not really necessary, all your active thinking is wonderful. I want to give you 100 points just by hearing all those beautiful final ideas. To people who were able until that point, this is like a bonus stage. More than only arriving at the truth, they can now explain how the story ends however they want."

K: Because, when Battler leaves the island, it is the only scene where he does not scream “I’m falling, I’m falling!”, this can also be treated as somebody’s fantasy. For example because Ange heard from captain Kawabata during the scenes in the real world in EP4, that “Battler was always making a fuss about falling when on a boat”…

R: That is a truly wonderful deduction, therefore it’s probably better if I say nothing at all laugh. Because with everything redundant, I’d say I’ll only narrow down all your ideas. Because this has become the gameboard of a new gamemaster, I will keep my mouth shut.

From the same interview, when talking about how reading Eva's diary might make Ange commit suicide:

R: This is something that the player can understand as he likes, so I won’t say anything further. Though, if you turn this scene around a bit, you can actually arrive at it’s truth. This work is studded with such hints. If he can arrive there is something that is up to the player. In that sense, Umineko is probably a pretty adult game. I have the impression that Higurashi was a pretty casual story, aimed at a young audience, but Umineko is a pretty bitter story.

Umineko is a bitter story, which doesn't match with the tone of the Magic ending. The purpose of Ange is to give a different perspective on Rokkenjima and help sell the Shkanontrice deception. Remember Ange's character arc in EP 8: she rejects the red truth for the golden truth, or in other words, she rejects the truth in favor of a shared delusion. The reader is challenged to achieve what Ange couldn't do: accept the truth. She couldn't beat the game on the hardest difficulty.

Chapter 12: Explaining the Meta-World

KNM admits not much can be decisively proven about the Meta-World, but gives a theory that he believes best lines up with the red truth.

The Meta-World can't be fully explained "in-universe". KNM says his "Umineko Explained" video proves how the Meta-World can't be magical. Said video has been lost to time, so we'll have to glide past that. The meta-fictional explanation can't be used either, as that's predicated on the existence of Ikuko, but as shown in Chapter 11, there's no evidence she actually exists. Furthermore, the Meta-World scenes have a clear, unbroken narrative flow from EP 1 to 8. This doesn't seem like something any human would write "in-universe". Especially since there's no guarantee Beato's bottles would've been discovered in the right order, and there's even an undiscovered, third bottle. Also, why would Beato base a character off Ikuko's cat?

The only way out is to assume EP 1-2 weren't written by Beato either, but was also written by Ikuko. But how can we say Ikuko actually understood Beato if all the EPs were actually just Ikuko's creation? The meta-fictional argument doesn't actually explain anything, it just pushes back any existing problems by just adding a layer of fiction over it.

Still, there's an "in-universe" basis for the Meta-World and it relies on Rokkenjima Prime. It's not the EP 7 Tea Party, but rather, it's EP 2. Before the massacre, Rosa came up with several murder plans and tossed them into the ocean as bottles to create a catbox. Rosa achieved perfect victory and made Battler surrender ("If you accept me, all riddles will be resolved") and as a reward for his surrender, she confessed everything to Battler, including all her other murder plans. This is why she went through the effort of planting a letter to separate herself and Maria from Battler: she wanted to make preparations for revealing her Beatrice persona.

After this, she let Battler go. While escaping, Battler either got grazed by the explosion, or tried sailing away on a boat but drowned, washing up on a beach severely brain-damaged. Either way, Battler dies a slow death, and the Meta-World is a hallucination he's experiencing. Battler dies at some point in EP 4-6, with KNM preferring EP 6's end being this moment. This is because EP 7 has Will instead of Battler, and in EP 8 Battler is far more mature and accepting of his death, which indicates this isn't the real Battler.

There are 5 perspectives in Umineko:

1) Detective/Objective 2) Meta-Battler 3) Subjective Gameboard Perspective (eg Detective not present)' 4) Ange's perspective 5) Reader, as in, You, the girl reading this :3

There are several scenes in Umineko in which the fourth wall seems to broken, such as Bernkastel talking to someone in EP 1 ???. Or the concept of "theatregoers". Or Lambdadelta saying that naive witches need to be told in red that the game won't have a happy ending. In other words, the reader is a part of Umineko as well, and this fits with seeing Umineko as a computer game. The Meta-World is not just Battler's dying hallucination, but also serves as a way for the reader to take part in the game. For example, nearly all of EP 6 takes place in the Meta-World. It's Ryukishi07 trying to trick you into falling for Shkanontrice. Are you capable of seeing past the trick to discover the truth of Rosatrice?

One thing that's interesting, is the EP 1 Tea Party. The manga adds a line about how everyone's lost loves have come back, and indeed, we see Kanon and Shannon back for Jessica and George. But where's Maria's love, Rosa? Well…Beatrice shows up. And hey, isn't there a lot of rose symbolism in Umineko magic? It's like Ryukishi07 was telling us something…

[rachelminetti]

room for squares, 9.18.2001

i have a few john mayer related rituals i (sometimes) keep up with over the year, but none as sacred as this one. why do i have john mayer rituals? probably in some attempt to tether myself to myself. i wrap my years around it, i measure time against it, i keep my clocks in sync with it. so every year on september 18th i listen to room for squares, start to finish, followed up with some favorite live versions. this is the week when i no longer wonder when summer will wrap itself up, when the humidity disperses and i want to be home by 7. my hands are starting to show signs of age this year, my sentimentality has waned, renewal feels less likely, more daunting. 

but this tradition persists, i reconnect, i let the new year begin. this album has been given the gift of context, 22 years to settle in as an early 2000s soft-pop-rock-coffeehouse-easy listening delight. it is by no means my favorite album of his, i do not think it is a masterpiece, and this is the only time of the year i listen to it in full. but it is a great comfort and there are some stellar live renditions of its songs, exemplary of their time, their longevity and lack thereof. so, here are some of my favorite versions of each song, dug up from my personal john mayer archive. 

no such thing, live sometime in 2001.they listen to phish, but they can’t find the answers. added to my library sometime before 12/26/2012 (the day i got my MacBook, lost date-added data for most of my music up to that point), probably ripped it from the youtube link above. my library would be nothing without clipconverter, mystupidmouth, that giant torrent, and, of course, the internet archive. you’ll get a lot from this version: long, fun intro, alternate lyrics, an everything she does is magic tease – all wrapped up into a 9 minute, pretty solid recording. essential listening for those looking to dip their toes into the world of live JM.

why georgia, go anywhere intro. i have no idea how i found a download of this, i can only find the lyrics online. it’s been in my library prior to 2012, i must’ve downloaded from mystupidmouth. it’s a different version than the portable intro that’s easier to come across. after about 30 minutes of trying to track it down, i’m led to believe that it is from 9.06.02, thanks to a reply from Humming6ird on this post. going to spend another 10-15 minutes trying to track down a download, we’ll see if i’m successful. side note: cool to stumble upon an old self while tracking this down, i’m all over this page. ok, no luck. it’ll find me one day.

my stupid mouth, probably 2002-2003. i’ve had this labeled in my library as (Soundstage 2005) but i think that that is very wrong. great improv intro to a song i’ve never cared for. this is like level 2 deep cut live john mayer.  

ybiaw, 3/11/23. there’s nothing worthwhile about this song, so here’s a link to a nice transition from HOME LIFE earlier this year. 

neon, live 9.24.05 with the trio. 10/10 must hear version of this song. now this really is one of his masterpieces, take some time and listen to its versatility over the years. i was also going to share a version from what i thought was from 05.18.00 but i cannot find confirmation anywhere that this actually exists. it’s wonderful and i have no idea where i downloaded it from in 2021. oh well.

city love, i don’t really care for this song so here’s a trio video of covered in rain. 

83, live 3.26.04. this whole show is great – early version of don’t trust myself and a back to you closer, can’t lose here. this song very much feels like early fall, light and crisp. “83 was the vibraslap.” 

3x5, yet another mislabeled live version in my library. downloaded BMB (before MacBook). well, here’s a nice one from july 7, 2003. full show video available, always nice. 

love song for no one, i was going to link the one i have from 3.29.00 (terrible recording, live at the 40 watt in athens), but, of course, i have no idea how i even have my hands on that. it starts with tell me what to say, so it’s a real deep cut. here’s one from eddie’s attic in 1999, same vibe. 

back to you, live any given thursday. bring back back to you! bring back FULL BAND back to you! an all time favorite, one of my atlanta songs. here’s a link to any given soundcheck. 

great indoors, i was going to link a mysterious undated 2003 version with a lovely intro, but of course i cannot find it. this one from tower records on 6.31.01 holds up nicely. 

not myself, a lovely version from THE eddie’s attic shows in 2005. it will all come around again…

[buttercream-squad-imagines]

Tinder in Real Life

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Sidemen x platonic!Reader Word Count: 2k Warnings: Language some people may find offensive, sexual themes, recycled lines from Sidemen Tinder in Real Life because I'm not at all creative Request: Hey! Could you do reader x Harry imagine where the sidemen do a collab video with the reader who is also a big youtuber and Harrys celebrity crush. And during the video the reader is very flirty, leaving Harry a flustered mess when the flirting is directed towards him, but very jealous when its with any other sidemen.

The Sidemen were one of the biggest groups on YouTube and one that you were very familiar with. At the age of 23, you were a fair bit younger than some of its oldest members but yet you had a close relationship with JJ, whom you had met through YouTube.

You had started your channel when you were 17, just under four years ago, making makeup videos, which was a passion of yours when you were younger. Not that you were any good at it back then. Those videos quickly become unlisted when your channel started blowing up in late 2016, now nearing 20 million at the present time.

It wasn't long before you expanded your horizons and had started making different sorts of videos, including vlogs of your everyday life - which wasn't and still isn't that exciting in your opinion - and those where you just had a laugh, attempting to do stupid challenges that were so popular back then. It was those, however, that grew your channel. Your fans seemed to love them and so you gradually started to make more.

As your small channel began to grow significantly, it caught the attention of KSI, a member of the Sidemen, who reached out to you to for a collab. You were ecstatic. You couldn't believe it at the time, why would someone like KSI with 20 million subscribers want to collaborate with you? By that time, you couldn't exactly call yourself a small channel anymore, with almost 5 million subscribers but it still didn't make any sense to you.

You and JJ quickly bonded after filming together. You had a very similar sense of humour and interests. As the years went, the older boy became one of your best friends, the nature of your relationship being very teasing and flirtatious but the both of you knew it was a joke. It was just the way you both were.

Though despite having known him for nearing 3 years now, you had never met the rest of the Sidemen, with the exception of Simon, as he lived with JJ. Which is why when he texted asking you to collaborate with the Sidemen, you couldn't turn the offer down. You were a fan of the group and the content they were producing. You thought the videos that they made were exceptional, that they were pushing the envelope of the standard of content on YouTube and often found yourself excited for new videos.

He had explained that they were filming another of their 'Tinder in real life' but a YouTuber version with the likes of BambinoBecky and ChiWithAC. You were so excited. You were finally going to meet the rest of JJ's friends and you had the opportunity to be a part of a Sidemen Sunday.

You arrived at the studio the boys were filming at in the afternoon, finding and greeting JJ before he introduced you to the other sidemen in addition to Lux, Freezy and Stephen.

"And you've already met Simon." He finished.

"Yeah. Nice to finally meet you all. JJ tells me a lot about you guys." You laughed.

"Because that's assuring." Ethan pointed out with a chuckle, the other boys letting out agreements.

"Not all bad, I promise." You teased, winking at him. Ethan felt the blood rushing to his face, immediately becoming flustered and stumbling over his words. You found that you often had that effect on people as you could be very direct and flirtatious even when you didn't mean it. To you it was just friendly banter.

"Geez Y/N, stop flirting with people you met literally five minutes ago." JJ rolled his eyes.

"You sound a bit jealous, Jide." You smirked, a teasing grin spread across your face.

"Nah, allow it." There were eruptions of laughter around the room, coming from the boys. You were quick to notice Harry standing out of the way and was significantly quieter than the others, with what seemed to be a forced smile on his face.

Harry was in his own head, barely paying attention to what was going on around him. When JJ had told him that you were going to be in the next Sidemen video, he panicked. You were an accomplished YouTuber who he was quite fond of to say the least. Well, that would be an understatement, he had a fairly large crush on you. A crush that no one but Freezy and Lux knew about.

He knew that JJ had been friends with you for some time now but never considered the possibility of even meeting you. His anxiety acted as a barrier to even the thought of it. But he was currently in the same room as you and had said nothing more than a short 'hello'. He longed to have the confidence Ethan had to speak to you, even more so for you to look at him the way you were.

Already you were flirting with JJ and Ethan, something that caused a pit to form at the bottom of his stomach. He wouldn't admit it, but he could slowly feel the jealousy forming. Not that he had anything to be jealous about in the first place!

You continued to speak with the boys as you got your mic set up, telling them stories you were sure would embarrass JJ.

"Y/N, stop." The older boy whined. He could be like a child sometimes, but it was one of his more endearing qualities. He simply wouldn't be JJ if he wasn't.

"No, carry on." Simon laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from." You teased.

"I think it's time we started, don't you think?" Harry grumbled.

"Right." You smiled at the boy, who's cheeks became tinted red. He ducked to hide his face and walked around to stand in the line, hiding himself in the middle.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I'm 23 and I'm from Y/H/T." You spoke to the camera once you were given the go ahead.

"I'm Simon, I'm 28. I like to practice safe sex."

"Always a good start."

"I could tie you to the bed, so you don't fall off." He finished with a giggle. You acted like you were pondering it for a moment before letting out a laugh and swiping right.

"I'm down for that." You teased. The boys all let out rumbles of laughter

"Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm 26 and kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're gonna swipe right."

"What would you rather?" You joked. Ethan shrugged his shoulders and walked closer to the board, sticking his head through with his lips puckered, eliciting a cry of protest from Harry that this wasn't allowed. You laughed and made an over exaggerated motion to swipe to the right, causing him to pout playfully but walked over to the right anyway.

"Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 28. KSI has a top ten single, but you're the only hot single I can see."

"Wow, that was smooth!" You said with a grin. "Definite yes from me."

"I'm Callum, I'm 26. Are you into fitness?" Freezy asked.

"Can't say I am." You replied, unsure of what turn this could take.

"How about you fitness dick in your mouth?"

"I wouldn't get too excited babes, I gag on my toothbrush." You laughed. "We could try though."

You swiped right on him, chuckling as you watched him let out a yes before joining Simon, Ethan, and Josh. You frowned slightly, a crease forming between your brows as you saw Harry whisper something furiously at his friend but ultimately got distracted by Vik stepping up to go next.

"I'm Vik, I'm 25. My ex-girlfriend always said I'd never do better than her, wanna prove her right?" You could hear the cries of the boys in the background, some scolding him, others laughing.

"Man actually said prove her right. Not wrong." JJ shrieked with a shocked look on his face, holding his head with his hands.

"You need to find someone for that." You snarked, swiping left on the boy, who shrugged and walked off.

"Damn! You got told!" Lux cackled.

"Uh hi. I'm Harry. I'm uh 25, no I'm not I'm 24." He stumbled. "Are you sure you're a muggle? Because that ass is magical."

"You should see how magical it can be." You spoke before cringing at yourself and laughing, swiping right to avoid a reply. The boy's face grew a bright shade of red, closely resembling the colour of a tomato.

"Geez, is that an offer?!" Freezy yelled from the right side. You laughed, observing how Harry whispered furiously to the boy to stop and winked at him once he had could see. Your laughter only increased as you watched JJ step up.

"I'm JJ. I'm 28 and are you a raisin? Cause you're raising my dick." The boy in question stood in front of you so confidently, hands clasped together in front of him so seriously that you just lost it. By the time you composed yourself, there were tears almost falling from your eyes.

"A* for effort." You laughed, swiping right eliciting a cry of success.

You had wrapped up filming your segment of the video, which conveniently was the last of the day. You found JJ who you spoke to whilst the other boys were otherwise occupied talking to each other.

"Cheers for coming, Y/N/N. You've been great."

"Anything for you." You joked.

"Don't tempt me." He laughed. You could feel eyes on you, eyes that were burning into your side. You turned your head to see Harry staring you and JJ down before looking away after being caught in the act, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Does Harry not like me or something?" You whispered to JJ, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Not that I know of." He frowned looking at the younger boy. "He can be a bit awkward at times and gets flustered a lot."

"Right." You agreed. You excused yourself before sauntering up to the boy in question, calling his name to snap him out of the daze he appeared to be in.

"Oh, um hey Y/N." He stumbled.

"Hi." You smiled gently. "I uh, I was just wondering, do you... have I done something to offend you?"

"Offend me? Why, uh, why would you think that?" He rambled.

"It's just... it's nothing, it's probably just me overthinking things." You waved it off, feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I don't like you. I don't not like you, in fact I really like you! Oh, um I mean I like you, you're very pretty." The boy couldn't stop rambling which made you laugh. "No, wait."

"You think I'm pretty?" You blushed interrupting him. Harry felt his mouth go dry, not being able to get anything coherent to come out. "Well, Harry, I really like you too."

"What?" His eyebrows shot up so far it was almost comical. "Really? So, you don't like the other guys?"

"What? No." You laughed. "That's absurd. Why would you think that?"

"You seemed very..." The boy trailed off, not wanting to offend you after you had admitted to liking him.

"Flirty?" You finished, causing him to nod. "I'm like that with everyone, I don't mean to be half the time."

"Oh."

"Well, how about you give me your phone number and when you finally grow a pair, you can ask me out?" Your confidence levels had shot up spontaneously.

"Uh, sure." His cheeks had become a dark shade of red as he passed his phone to you so you could put your number in. You kept looking up at him as you typed, putting your name under 'Y/N x' in his contacts before handing it back to him.

"Y/N! Come on! We're going to Nando's!" JJ called from the other side of the room.

"Call me." You winked. Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth and was currently the only thing from stopping the wide grin from spreading across your face. A grin that hadn't disappeared from your face for the rest of the day, much to the curiosity of JJ, who was disappointed when you refused to tell him why, or more appropriately who, had put the smile on your face.

[skyeet-the-writer]

The Love Among Us

Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy

so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x. 

 corpse husband x female!reader

summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him. 

 word count: ~3.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)

EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)

EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!

next>

4 rounds before the incident

“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims. 

“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh. 

“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected. 

stinky was not the imposter

2 imposters remain

The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves. 

“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed. 

“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”

“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”

Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again. 

“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room. 

“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles. 

“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases. 

“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs. 

Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”

~

“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them. 

You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”

“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks. 

You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”

“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps. 

You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”

“Bye,” says Mark.

“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call. 

“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room. 

Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady. 

Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up. 

After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”

You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.” 

When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once. 

“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you. 

You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”

“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks. 

Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’” 

“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu. 

“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean. 

You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”

“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie. 

“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”

There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.

3 rounds before the incident

You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair. 

“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”

After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing. 

“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”

“Who died?” asks Lizzie. 

“Felix,” says Sean. 

You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”

“Where was the body?” Ken asks. 

“Lower engine,” you reply. 

“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation. 

This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it. 

“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says. 

“Sean, where were you?” 

“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers. 

You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”

“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”

“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie. 

“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer. 

When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”

After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there. 

Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself. 

“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ. 

“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”

“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”

“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?

“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks. 

You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.” 

The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected. 

stinky was an imposter 

1 imposter remains

“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected. 

You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.” 

You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat. 

“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.” 

There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”

You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks. 

God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”

“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”

“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”

“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken. 

After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks. 

“No I haven’t,” she says. 

“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”

Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out. 

jaiden was the imposter

0 imposters remain

You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host. 

~

1 round before the incident 

“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”

After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine. 

When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported. 

“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head. 

After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax. 

You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.

You unmute yourself. 

“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile. 

“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”

You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”

“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in. 

“Yeah,” you nod. 

“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin. 

In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”

“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs. 

You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing. 

“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”

He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”

You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands. 

When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate. 

0 rounds before the incident

You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there. 

The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix. 

“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage. 

“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”

But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.” 

Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”

You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix. 

“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”

You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”

“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time. 

You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him. 

You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”

There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.

“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing. 

“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen. 

“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”

“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you. 

You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse. 

The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both. 

“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”

“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”

He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic. 

“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”

“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”

“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”

Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?

But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”

There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”

There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”

“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie. 

You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones

“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”

Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”

“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”

You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”

A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave. 

“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”

“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”

“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you. 

You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”

When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay. 

You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”

“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”

You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.

You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat. 

[thefanficmonster]

Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff 

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.” 

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

                                                          * * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger! 

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at. 

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black. 

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“ 

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me. 

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios

[goldenraeofsun]

Day 26: Happy Homemaker

Castiel stumbles on Happy Homemaker’s Youtube channel while trying to clean the grout in his bathroom, already an alarming shade of blackish green. He taps on the clip, and an unexpectedly male voice and a pair of very nice hands show him how to mix baking soda and bleach.

A few weeks later, Castiel has to unearth his suit for a cousin’s wedding, still packed in his suitcase from his business trip last year. Thank god, it still fits, but it’s hopelessly wrinkled. After Castiel borrows an iron from Mrs. Tate next door, he frantically searches for how to iron a suit. Once again, he comes across a Happy Homemaker video with his soothing voice and sturdy hands.

The third time, Castiel wakes up in the middle of the night in a pumpkin-related panic. Everyone on his street who gussied up their houses for the holiday carved their pumpkins into jack o’lanterns. Castiel’s house, with its intact gourds, is a disgrace. So, Castiel looks up how to carve a pumpkin at three in the morning.

After the carving instruction, the last minute and a half offers ways to use the seeds. Hands covered in Scooby Doo oven mitts take the seed-laden baking tray out of the oven, and the camera pans up to the Happy Homemaker himself. And, for the rest of the night, Happy Homemaker’s smile dances behind his closed eyelids as Castiel tries to go back to sleep.

This video starts a Happy Homemaker spiral that Castiel is still half-heartedly trying to crawl out of.

He watches videos on how to sort and clean laundry (helpful), make roast chicken (beyond helpful), clean his refrigerator (also helpful), organize his kitchen cabinets (a godsend), and make five basic recipes in a pressure cooker (Castiel doesn’t own a pressure cooker).

After 148 videos, Castiel knows precious few facts about Happy Homemaker:

His video editor is named Sam (Sammy).

He’d always done housework. Since he was four years old, practically.

He’s married, as evidenced by the gold band on the fourth finger of his left hand.

Castiel finds out Happy Homemaker’s actual name during another bout of sleeplessness (not about pumpkins this time - button sewing). He trawls through recommended videos until he reaches something called a “lets play” of a redhead playing Mario Party with Happy Homemaker.

She calls him Dean.

Castiel starts recommending Happy Homemaker’s channel to anyone who needs advice on almost anything. Dean always has a quip or a quote handy, and Castiel makes a list of all the pop culture references he makes to investigate later.

Balthazar nearly faints when Castiel mentions he watched the Fifth Element and Tombstone over the weekend. He sets down his glass of wine on Castiel’s counter and pulls out his phone. “Does this bloke have a Twitter?”

“I have no idea,” Castiel says as he stirs the tomato sauce (from one of Dean’s recipes).

“He does!” Balthazar crows victoriously. He peers over Castiel’s shoulder. “What are you making? Is it supposed to be that color?”

Castiel grimaces. “Marinara sauce.”

Balthazar snaps a picture as Castiel makes a noise of offense. “Let me guess, this is one of the Homemaker’s recipes?”

“Yes,” Castiel says testily as he stirs the sauce, not that it improves the consistency or color.

“I’m tweeting him,” Balthazar declares. “If I have to put out an apartment fire, it will be his fault.”

“I’m pretty sure the fault would be mine, not Dean’s.”

“Shush.”

In the meantime, Castiel checks on the pasta, which still has a few minutes left to go.

“He replied!” Balthazar says, waving his phone in Castiel’s face. “He says to reduce the heat and add pasta water to get it back to a sauce.”

Castiel shuts off the burner and turns to Balthazar in surprise. “How much water?”

Balthazar frowns at the pan. “Haven’t a clue. I’ll ask.” He taps his phone, and they both wait.

“Around three quarters of a cup, but add more if it needs it,” Castiel reads out loud, smiling despite his dinner disaster because the words come straight from Dean himself.

“Well, you heard the man,” Balthazar says, shooing Castiel back to the stove as he picks up his wine.

As Castiel finishes preparing dinner, Balthazar keeps up a running commentary of his deep dive into Happy Homemaker’s social media.

After they’ve finished eating and Balthazar has settled in with his digestif, Castiel starts, “I’d like to ask you a favor.”

Balthazar sets down his drink. “Since you fed me edible food this time, I suppose I owe you a favor or two. What is it? Are you finally asking for Bartholomew’s number -?”

“No, but I’d like your help in setting up a Twitter account,” Castiel says firmly.

“Oh no,” Balthazar says sardonically, a wry expression coming over his face. “Is it to cyberstalk Happymaker?”

“Happy Homemaker,” Castiel corrects, irritated.

“Whatever,” Balthazar sighs as he holds out his hand. “Give me your phone.”

The first time Castiel reaches out to Dean himself, he nearly has a heart attack from the nerves. But he’s hungry, frustrated, and tired of sampling rubbery eggs. He films himself pushing unyielding egg clumps around his pan and tags Dean, asking what he’s doing wrong.

Two minutes later, he gets a notification about a new message.

HH @happyhomemaker Lower the heat. It’ll take longer for the eggs to cook, but they’ll be so much better.

Two more tries later, Castiel sends back a picture of a plate full of yellow, fluffy eggs.

He gets another direct message as he’s washing up.

Lookin good! Just missing the bacon. And sausage. Maybe French toast. Or pancakes? Damn I should make myself breakfast soon.

Castiel smiles and replies, Thank you.

An hour later, Dean sends him a picture of what looks like a breakfast for two - a mouthwatering feast of eggs over easy, a small stack of pancakes, a plate piled high with bacon, toast, and a small mountain of hashbrowns.

Dean and his wife must be hungry. Castiel tries not to think about what a couple could get up to until two-thirty in the afternoon to generate that sort of appetite.

Castiel tries not to bother Dean too often. He sometimes tweets him pictures of his more successful attempts at Dean’s recipes, and, once, a picture of his freshly organized closet, based off Dean’s recommendations in his latest video.

In his most pathetic moments, he scrolls through the tweets Dean’s liked to see two of Castiel’s creations on the list.

“You’re headed into dangerous parasocial territory, my friend,” Balthazar says, pointing his fork at him. “But that’s all I’m going to say about it because this shepherd’s pie is delicious.”

Castiel sighs around his own bite of mashed potatoes and ground meat. “I understand Dean is not my friend. I am a… customer, at best.”

“One of a hundred fifty thousand, last I checked,” Balthazar says.

Castiel’s shoulders slump.

“Hey,” Balthazar says, his voice gentler, “This is a good thing, Cassie. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you passionate about something, and, honestly, your home looks so much better.” He waves his hand around, indicating the nigh impeccable cleanliness.

Tidying brings Castiel so much more enjoyment with Dean’s voice playing in the background.

“Much less like a depressed person lives here,” Balthazar adds.

“Thank you,” Castiel says sourly.

Balthazar takes a sip of wine. “It looks like the meds are working.”

Castiel shrugs. “I stopped waking up at two in the morning about pumpkins, so I suppose they are.”

“Pumpkins?” Balthazar repeats, baffled. “What on Earth for?”

Castiel picks up his water glass - alcohol doesn’t mix well with him nowadays. “It was around Halloween. Unimportant now.”

“If you say so,” Balthazar says. “What’s for dessert?”

“More pie.”

“I’m sensing a theme,” Balthazar says dryly as Castiel gets up to clear the table.

“Dean has more pie recipes than anything else,” Castiel says with a shrug as Balthazar gets up, his own plate in hand.

“That explains it then,” Balthazar says as he sets his dish down in the sink and turns on the tap while Castiel slices up the pie. “Seriously, though, Cassie. It sounds like you’ve really attached to this man. You’re clearly opening yourself up. Does that mean you’d like to try dating again?”

Castiel sighs as they move back to the table. “You already have someone in mind, don’t you?”

“I always have someone in mind, darling.” Balthazar takes a bite of his pie, his expression pleasantly surprised.

“Who is it?”

“A friend from work, Ishim. Handsome.”

Castiel resists the urge to sigh again. “Do you know anything else about him?”

“What else matters?”

Castiel rubs his forehead with the heel of his hand, weighing in the pros and the cons. “I suppose one date wouldn’t hurt.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Ishim texts three days later, and they make plans to go to a French restaurant Castiel has never heard of. When he relays the news to Balthazar, Balthazar sends back a heart eyes emoji.

Castiel keeps himself busy through more home improvement and increasingly complex recipes. He attempts Dean’s homemade burritos, but he can’t get the folding technique right. All the filling spills out before he can transfer it from the cutting board.

He’d been snacking while the meat simmered, so he’s not starving - mostly annoyed. He takes a picture of his burrito just before it falls apart and sends it to Dean along with a request for help.

Dean replies three minutes later, with a simple, Hold on a sec.

Castiel polishes off about half of his homemade guacamole in the time it takes for Dean’s response to come through.

But it’s not a message with instructions.

Dean sent a video.

Mouth falling open, Castiel taps on it.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says with a little wave, “You’re lucky I had some tortillas left over from Taco Tuesday.” He grins, flashing the camera a thumbs up before it pans to his counter where a tortilla is laid out, next to what looks like half a kielbasa and four jalapeno peppers. “Sorry that the burrito vid wasn’t clear enough, but here’s the deal. You ready?”

The camera shakes again as Dean sets it down on some sort of ledge that gives Cas the best view of his hands and the tortilla.

“Ignore what I have here,” Dean says, gesturing to the kielbasa and jalapenos. “It’s just so I’m not rolling an empty burrito.” He places all the items on top of the tortilla, clustering everything in the lower half. “First, what you wanna do first is take out about a quarter of the filling you already have in there. You could have the best meat in the world, but nobody’s gonna have any fun if there’s too much to work with. So take it easy.” He bends down so his face is in frame, eyebrows waggling. “See, this is the kind of stuff I can’t say on the channel.”

Castiel turns bright red.

“Anyway,” Dean says, straightening and moving out of frame, “Now, you start rolling until you get about halfway through. Tuck in both sides so all the good stuff doesn’t spill out, and keep rolling. And there you go, a foolproof burrito wrapping technique!”

Dean bends down so his face is back in frame. “Hope this helps, man!”

The video ends.

Castiel rewatches it.

He tries his burrito rolling again, and, mercifully, the personal video Dean made him does the trick, and he transfers his burrito to a plate without issue.

He watches the video again as he eats.

By the time his first date with Ishim comes around, Castiel has lost count of the number of times he’s played Dean’s burrito video. It’s in the low hundreds.

He almost cancels his date a dozen times in the hours leading up to it. But when he pulls Ishim’s number up on his phone, he reminds himself that Dean has no idea who Castiel is, not really. Castiel can’t hold out for someone who barely knows he exists.

Dean posts a video at noon, and Castiel has to shut his phone in the bottom drawer of his desk to resist the temptation to watch it.

Castiel gets to the restaurant twenty minutes early in a bundle of nerves. The hostess tells him (understandably) that his table isn’t ready yet. There’s an engagement party on the second floor, so their seating is even tighter than usual.

Castiel takes a seat at the bar and orders an iced tea. He sips it slowly as he pulls out his phone and navigates to Dean’s channel. It’s drain unclogging day, apparently. Not the best video before eating, but Castiel doesn’t have much choice left.

“Is that me?” comes from directly over his shoulder, and Castiel nearly falls off his stool.

He whips his head around to see the Happy Homemaker himself staring at Castiel with wide eyes. In his frantic effort to end the video, Castiel drops his phone. It bounces off the bar, falling onto the floor, and Dean, who’d been standing behind him, crouches down to grab it before Castiel can get off his stool.

More mortified than he ever has been in his life, Castiel takes his phone back as Dean hands it over.

“It’s cool, man,” Dean says, lips pressed together like he’s trying not to laugh. “For a second I thought it wasn’t mine - but it’s the video I put up a few hours ago, right?”

Castiel nods soundlessly.

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “So, how’d you like it?”

Castiel can only stare.

Dean has viewer statistics, not to mention the likes and dislikes, to show him how well his videos are received. What could he possibly want with Castiel’s assessment?

Dean exhales a small sigh, his face falling slightly. “That bad, huh?”

Castiel frowns. “I only watched about two minutes of it,” he says slowly as Dean nods encouragingly, “but I found it as informative and engaging as all your other videos.”

“All?” Dean repeats, his mouth curling into a slow grin as he lowers himself onto the barstool next to Castiel.

Castiel grabs his iced tea and swallows about half of it down.

“Woah,” Dean says, concerned, as Castiel resurfaces.

“It’s iced tea,” Castiel says quickly.

Dean flags down the bartender with a raised hand and promptly orders the same and a refill for Castiel.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Castiel protests as soon as the bartender walks off to fill their orders.

“I figured I owed you for at least one drink if you’ve given me that many views,” Dean says, his expression open and friendly.

“Don’t you get paid a fraction of a cent per view?”

Dean shrugs. “Something like that.” He takes a sip of his drink. “So can I get a name to work with or am I gonna have to call you Number One Fan when I retell my one and only accidental encounter with an actual viewer?”

Flushing, Castiel mutters, “Castiel.”

Dean sets his glass down with a thunk. “Hold on. Castiel? Cas? You’re the one who had trouble with a burrito the other day, right?”

Castiel blinks in surprise. “Yes, that was me.”

Dean leans in eagerly. “How’d it work out?”

“Perfectly.”

Dean slaps the bar with the palm of his hand. “Hell yeah, it did.” He sighs, propping one elbow on the bar as he surveys Castiel with new eyes. “You’ve gotten a lot better, you know.”

Castiel nearly chokes on his drink. “Excuse me?”

“From the eggs,” Dean clarifies.

“You remember that?” Dean hadn’t even liked Castiel’s first tweet about his disastrous eggs.

“Not at first,” Dean admits, “But after the burrito thing, I looked you up again.”

Castiel has no idea what to do with that, so he just drinks his iced tea. He still can’t believe it’s really Dean sitting next to him. The agent of change for so many parts of Castiel’s life, his eating, his environment, his daily routine.

“Thank you,” Castiel blurts before he can overthink it.

Dean rolls his eyes. “You already thanked me for the drink, dude. It’s just iced tea.”

“No, not for that. Your channel,” he pauses gathering his courage, “it changed my life. I’d been struggling… before, but focusing on cleaning, cooking, and things I could all do from the comfort of my own home has really helped me.”

Dean goes fiery red. “I - that’s - I’m not - you’re welcome, I guess,” he stutters.

Castiel nods jerkily, turning to face forward instead of towards Dean. “Anyway, I should let you go back to your wife.”

Dean inhales his next sip of tea. Thumping his sternum with his fist, he forces out, “Wife?”

Castiel swallows. “Or whoever you’re here with.”

“I mean,” Dean says, his eyes narrowing, “technically I’m here with Sammy, but he’s a bit busy with the engagement and all that. But - what makes you think I have a wife?”

“Husband, my apologies,” Castiel corrects, pursing his lips. He should have known better to assume.

Dean throws him a second confused look. “I’m not married.”

Castiel’s brow furrows. “But your wedding ring.”

They both instinctively glance down to Dean’s hand - currently ringless - as Dean chuckles under his breath. “I got it for the channel,” he admits as he tips back his glass. “I thought it made me seem more approachable, instead of a weird, single dude who just likes to clean.”

“I see,” Castiel says, trying to stay realistic. Just because Dean isn’t married, that does not mean he would want to date Castiel or that he’s even interested in men. For God’s sake, Castiel already has an actual date scheduled for tonight.

“I can’t believe you noticed,” Dean says, his mouth twitching.

“Ninety percent of your videos are just of your hands,” Castiel says wryly.

“Touche.” Dean tips his glass in Castiel’s direction. “So what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Married? Single?”

Castiel’s mouth drops open. “Are you really interested?”

Dean’s shoulders hunch, and he mutters something about viewer demographics.

“Because I’m not,” Castiel says, staring at him in amazement. “I’m single - mostly single.”

Dean grimaces. “What’s that mean?”

Castiel checks his phone. Five minutes until his scheduled date. “I technically have a blind date tonight. He’s supposed to arrive in a few minutes.”

Dean nods once. “Right then, I should -”

“But I’d much rather keep talking to you,” Castiel says quickly, “If that’s something you’d like as well.”

Dean swallows. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He straightens to look over to the stairs leading to the upper floor. “I’m technically supposed to be at my brother’s engagement party upstairs, but that bar only had booze.”

“You don’t drink?”

Dean shakes his head, staring down at his half-full of iced tea. “Kind of the main requirement of AA.”

Castiel smiles shyly. “My anxiety meds don’t mix well with alcohol.” He gestures around the restaurant. “I would never have chosen this place in a million years, but my friend’s friend proposed it. Apparently, it has an excellent wine selection.”

“Yeah, it’s not my scene either,” Dean says with a shudder.

Castiel levels Dean a searching look. Eventually, he asks, “Would you like to go somewhere else? There’s a decent diner across the street that makes excellent burgers.”

“Burgers?” Dean repeats, grinning as he gets off his stool. “That sounds awesome.”

Castiel stands as well. “I’ve always imagined they’d taste like yours.”

“You haven’t tried my burgers?” Dean asks as they weave their way towards the door.

Castiel shakes his head. “They’re your favorite, and they look so good in the video - I didn’t see how any attempt of mine would even compare.”

“That’s bullshit,” Dean declares once they’re standing in the cool night air. “Alright, new plan. If you’re okay with it,” he adds with a quick look at Castiel, who nods for him to continue. “We go back to my place. I make you one of my burgers for real.”

Castiel smiles. “And then?”

“That depends if you’re the type of dude who puts out on the first date,” Dean says, biting his lip and looking away, a faint blush staining his cheeks.

“When I said ninety percent of your videos are of your hands, I consider that a good thing,” Castiel says frankly. “I don’t think you can really underestimate how much time I spent thinking about them.”

Dean throws his head back and laughs.

[mint-yooxgi]

Oooo I've had yandere!idol!Renjun stuck in my head all day 👀

"Oh my god," your best friend breathes under her breath, causing you to turn your attention towards her, as she begins to lightly hit your arm from across the table you're sitting at, "is that?"

"Wha- who?" Your brow furrows as you follow her gaze.

"It is! Oh my goodness," she nearly squeals in excitement, only causing your brow to furrow even more, but this time, in concern.

"I repeat: who?" You once more follow her gaze to see three guys standing in line at the coffee shop you're currently in, each wearing a face mask.

"Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung from NCT Dream," she whispers back, suddenly keeping her voice low as two of them seem to be looking over at your table now.

"Oh, neat," you reply with a nod of your head, taking a sip of your drink as you start to notice a few others around you whispering about the idols now in the shop.

"What do you mean, 'neat'?" This time, it's her turn to furrow her brows. "This is literally our lucky day."

"I don't know about you, but if I was famous and grabbing a drink with my friends, the last thing I would want is for a fan to start a commotion," you reply, and you see her gape at you.

"Don't lie, you're excited to see them, too," she huffs, sending you a certain look in the next moment while wiggling her brows suggestively, "especially your bias-"

"All I'm saying," you cut her off, a small heat rising to your cheeks, "is that we shouldn't bother them."

She pouts, "party pooper."

You stick out your tongue at her in response. "We should get going soon, anyways."

"Well, don't look now, but I think someone is heading this way," her eyes glance beside you once more, a giddy smile tugging at her lips as she watches the person approach your table.

"Yeah, probably to claim the free table behind you," you roll your eyes, pushing your chair back and preparing to stand, only to halt all movements in the next second.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt you two..." a voice catches your attention, and you zone out slightly as you see Renjun now standing beside your table, not registering that he's just said your name.

"Why, yes, yes it is," your friend answers for you as you sit there, awestruck. "Sorry, she's not usually like this. It's probably due to the fact that you're their bi-"

You kick her slightly beneath the table to get her to shut up. A smile rests on your features, somewhat forced due to her almost confession.

"What can I help you with?" You direct your full attention to Renjun as he continues to stand there, you only now noticing a fresh drink rests in his hands.

His breath hitches. Your smile nearly makes him stumble backwards at how beautiful it is in person. He's only ever dreamed of seeing you smile like that at him, and nothing could have prepared him for the actual thing.

Ever since he entered the coffee shop with Chenle and Jisung, he could hardly believe his eyes. His favourite Youtuber and Tiktoker actually sitting right before his very eyes. Every time you post, he looks forward to seeing which song you choose to cover next, whether it be dancing or singing. He nearly fell out of his chair when he saw the Dive Into You cover that you did recently. Hell, even the random vlogs that you do from time to time end up being some of his favourite videos. Renjun can't help but just imagine being out with you during those times, the two of you just doing mundane things together. More than all of that, though, being together.

Clearing his throat, he pulls himself back to reality. Yes, this is actually happening right now. No, it most certainly is not another one of his dreams.

Thank god Haechan isn't here to witness this, otherwise Renjun would never be able to live this down. Though, he knows he's in for it later with both Jisung and Chenle.

"Sorry, I'm just a big fan of yours," he says, scratching the back of his head somewhat nervously. "I was wondering if I could get a picture or something?"

"Or something," your friend mutters under her breath, causing you to kick her once more beneath the table.

"Yeah, sure," you reply, noticing how the other two members observe you carefully, Jisung sipping from his drink all the while.

"Great," he smiles, pulling out his phone as your friend sits there, now in shock.

So that fan group of yours was right, you do frequent this coffee shop. He's so glad he made the others come with him, though he still finds it hard to believe that this is actually happening. Maybe he should stalk your fansites more often.

After he takes a few pictures with you, you do the same with your phone. Renjun hopes you use them as your lock screen just as he knows he will do with the photos he's taken with you today. Perhaps you'll even be able to run into each other again soon, and if he has anything to say about it, you will.