#adhd tax

[thebibliosphere]

I'm working out my business expenses for last year so I can file my taxes, and the sheer amount of ADHD tax I accidentally accumulated by forgetting to pause or cancel payments for subscription-based services (looking at you, stamps.com) is infuriating.

Like, I'm mad at me for forgetting, but why does everything have to be subscription-based? Why can't I just pay for shit when I use it.

Anyway. I've been derailed from doing my taxes and now I'm hunting down all the shit I'm not using but apparently still paying for. Fucksake.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What is ADHD Tax

Future ADHD

[musingsofuttermadness]

We don’t talk about this Enough

We don’t talk enough about the shame and guilt and disappointment attached to ADHD and other disorders affecting executive function.

The shame of living in messy spaces and not being able to just sweep the fucking floor like everyone else. And not brushing your teeth or hair for days or weeks and eventually having to spend thousands at the dentist and get a buzz cut.

The shame of always running late due to time blindness. And this extending to being late with deadlines at work or school, when in reality you had to take sick days because your brain wouldn’t let you get out of bed.

The shame of having sensory meltdowns because the world is too much, but being seen as having adult temper tantrums.

The guilt of knowing that you have so much you need to do, but you just can’t, no matter how hard you fucking try.

The guilt of knowing you can’t be a typical ‘good friend’ because you’re often inconsistent and even unreliable.

The guilt of knowing the food you’re about to buy is probably going to gather mold at the back of the fridge before getting thrown out; but you have to buy it anyway or you won’t eat.

The disappointment in yourself when you’ve been hyper-sexual for a week and now feel used and dirty and full of regret.

The disappointment you see in the eyes of the people you love when they see you curled up on the couch instead of following through on your plans, or doing the work you need to do, or doing your chores; but not knowing that you’re screaming inside to just do something, anything.

The disappointment of finally feeling like yourself, enjoying new hobbies, and functioning well again; then falling back into executive dysfunction and depression without any warning.

The shame, guilt, and disappointment of being afraid to share this with neurotypical people out of fear they might just say:

“Stop being so lazy” or “stop making excuses” or “but I saw you last week and you were fine”

As a result of silencing these conversations, we continue the vicious cycle and perpetuate our feelings of utter worthlessness; we suffer and we isolate and sometimes we even give up.

We don’t talk about this enough.

I think it’s time we start.

[penguicorns-are-cool]

Sleep Tax

so I've been thinking about something and I'm gonna call it sleep tax

basically, because of my ADHD I need a bit of extra time to get ready in the morning, but also the earlier I wake up the more time I need cause I'm also dealing with sleep deprivation.

So like, if I need to leave home at 8:30 I need to fully wake up by 7:30 so my first alarm has to be at 7:00 so I have time for a few snoozes and an hour to get ready. If I have to leave by 8:00 though I need to wake up fully by 7:00 to even have a chance of getting ready in time and my first alarm has to be around 6:20.

And it gets worse if it's cold cause now there's the extra step of forcing myself into the cold and the cold makes everything else harder to do. So now I have to wake up like 15 minutes earlier to give myself time for that but really my first alarm is way before that so I can have proper snoozing time. Like, Now to leave at 8:30 I have to fully wake up around 7:15 or earlier and my first alarm will be at 6:30.

Now, if waking up this early makes me sleep deprived for whatever reason. Like maybe I had a lot of work the night before, or I had a bad day and ended up staying up late on Tumblr trying to decompress to the point that I could get to sleep, or I just couldn't sleep. Then it'll start a cycle of not so great energy-sapping days where it's hard to sleep and I consistently get to bed closer to 1-2am. Now I'm getting like 6 or less hours of sleep a night and am getting very sleep-deprived so getting ready is even slower. Now I have to wake up even earlier to compensate for that. My first alarm now is at 6:20 (or earlier) so I can wake up at 7:00

And if I have to wake up earlier when I'm already waking up at 7:00 and have to leave around 8:00 instead of 8:30, well I just kind of die cause now I'm waking up at 6:45 with my first alarm at 6:00 or 5:55 all while getting less than 5 hours of sleep a night

So now I'm in this horrible cycle of getting more and more sleep deprived because the sleep deprivation and other stuff makes it harder and harder to get ready so I have to wake up earlier and earlier which makes my days more and more energy-sapping which means I stay up later and I get more sleep-deprived and I'm even slower getting ready and have to wake up earlier and on and on and on

[amethystsoda]

For people with low energy or spoons/can’t stand up long to hand wash dishes/etc but have a dishwasher, let me put you onto these—

[Photo ID: a bag of Cascade Platinum Plus dishwasher actionpacs. End ID]

If you’re like me and end up with dishes accidentally left bc you can’t deal with em yet (and stuck on food 😅😅😅) these babies have special enzymes that will eat it ALL.

Get a pair of vinyl dish gloves, put all the nasty dishes in unwashed, and pop this dish pac in AND IT WORKS. All the gross food gone.

It’s been such a lifesaver when I’m looking at dish mountain and want to cry 😭

[alulapop]

New ADHD meds just came in let’s hope they help!

[aniseandspearmint]

Cleaning out the standing freezer. I haven't done this since- I can't actually remember? Since waaaay before mom died. so over 2 years. Probably closer to 3 now, looking at some of the dates on things at the bottom.

There's SO much wasted food, and I feel guilty about that, but a lot of it is honestly stuff I cannot eat bc of allergies, and I've just been dithering on throwing it out. Also stuff that got covered up and my brain deleted it's existence once it wasn't visible. I guess that falls under the ADHD tax.

And bread. There is a lot of 2-3 year old bread here.

*squints* anyone know if 1 and a half year old stouffer's mac n' cheese is still edible?

[anarchywoofwoof]

what type of ADHD do i have? last week, i sat my headset down somewhere and forgot about it.

now you may be saying to yourself: "this is a common mistake whether you have ADHD or not" and i agree; yes, it is.

however, the problem is that i sat it down outside on my porch. and left it overnight. and yes, of course, it rained.

that being said, this post will serve dual purpose as both a warning to fellow ADHD-havers not to sit your electronic accessories down where Weather might happen to it and an advertisement for the Razer Blackshark v2 which apparently is at worst somewhat mildly water resistant. because it definitely still works just as well as it did before it was wetted upon

[nimthirielrinon]

So! ADHD idea. I was struggling to put away soda cans that built up all over my desk over the course of a week (not a massive number but they take up a LOT of space). I have a can crusher in the kitchen because crushing cans with my leg is some kind of sensory hell for me, but taking cans up to the kitchen to crush them while I'm at work is a pain, and then I found that once there were too many to carry I didn't want to carry them in multiple trips...

So I acknowledged my ADHD issue and bought a second can crusher off Ebay for like, $AUD16 (US12-ish?) and attached it to the bookshelf next to my desk. I use a metal clothes peg to attach this paper bag from Woolies to the base of it, so when I finish a drink I just crush it, drop it in the bag, and done! Once the bag is full enough to be annoying, I just take the whole lot into the recycling bins outside. The second peg with the little sign on it, also made from a paper shopping bag, is there as a friendly reminder to myself not to mix it up with my rubbish bin that's under my desk.

My ADHD is much happier now, and my desk is free to be... cluttered up by other things :/ (one problem at a time, one at a time...)

[ub-sessed]

Part of the ADHD tax I don't think I've thought about enough is the amount of time it takes me to regain emotional equilibrium after an upset. Like, I'm supposed to be working on my taxes tonight (I haven't filed for 10 years and the government is threatening legal action) but instead I'm in tears because I got yelled at by a customer YESTERDAY.

[spellscribe]

I find it offensive that I can't stack my pdfs and docs in a teetering, coffee stained pile that looks like the castoffs from an abandoned paper factory, and yet somehow manages to keep everything in the exact place I know to look for it.

Instead, I spent a whole afternoon trawling through four - FOUR! - different cloud services looking for that one word doc I'm only 70% sure even exists.

[structuredsucc]

The worst thing about ADHD working memory issues is that you don't remember forgetting things.

I just have zero awareness at all until its too late.

It's just nothing... nothing... nothing...

... ... ...

OMG I FORGOT THE ICE CREAM IN THE TRUNK AGAIN!

[brightlotusmoon]

‘We will coup whoever we want!’: the unbearable hubris of Musk and the billionaire tech bros | Society books | The Guardian

I found this tab open and I completely forgot why I was reading the article, but it's fascinating.

[lordbeebrain]

Nah but that ADHD/Neurodivergent

>Start Project

>Hyperfocus to burnout

>Stop project & never touch it again

>Feel Shame

>Repeat

Pipeline legitimately fucking sucks.

ADHD Tax is such a really shitty & unfortunate thing to experience & it usually comes with lots of shame between hyperfixations 😮‍💨

It takes more than just money, also.

Relationships of any kind, personal duties, things important to basic life, such as: Personal hygiene, eating, drinking water/hydrating, etc. often go ignored while engrossed in a hyperfocus.

Sucks that a majority of society will just tell you to “Just try HARDER!” when you try to explain these issues to them.

Maybe one day I’ll finally try hard enough at trying harder, that I will realize all of my problems could’ve been solved, had I only simply tried hard enough at trying harder so I could “Just try harder!”, until I finally found the right amount of trying harder to no longer have to try harder at trying harder…

Maybe one day.

I’ll be sure to share results ❤️🐝🧠

[kamianya-ttv]

I really hate the ADHD tax, in some ways more than the physical disability tax.

Because yes, it sucks to have tons of medical bills, to need more expensive precut veg, or lots of microwavable/easy meals. To need to pay for a car rather than be able to take public transport in the city because your body just can’t on trains and buses. To need to have the air conditioner on high despite the cost because otherwise your body stops functioning. Etc etc etc.

Yes, there's so many ways that being physically disabled and chronically ill makes life WAY more expensive. 

But in some ways it's not as painful, as, say, throwing out the leftover chicken wings from yesterday that were supposed to be dinner today, because I left them in the oven ‘til now (8pm the next day).

Because not only do I now have to suddenly face using extra unplanned for spoons to try to figure out new dinner (and I’m writing this right now instead because my brain is having trouble coping with the idea), it's also my fault. 

Not society for the way disabled people are treated, or lack of accessibility.

Mine. 

And yes, there's a big way in which that's not true. I have ADHD. I have memory issues. They're made worse by my physical issues. 

But I still have no dinner ready, I still can't begin to conceive how to fix it today, and it's still because *I* left the chicken out.

I know this is a very specific situation, but this isn't the first time I've had this EXACT case (hey. chicken wings are easy to make, but I have a cat so they stay in the oven until I'm ready to put them away). 

And it's emblematic of the overall issue.

If I could just remember to call Verizon while they're open and I have the energy, I could get the financial aid discount. If I could just remember to return that item before too late, I'd get my reimbursement. If I could just remember those veggies in the fridge, they wouldn’t go bad and need to be trashed before I can cook with them, causing both food waste and money waste.

And not only does every little forgetting-late bills, repairs getting forgotten until they're much worse, a car issue forgotten except when in the car, etc etc etc etc-add up and up and up? They're my fault. There's no one to blame but me.

And DAMN that hurts.

I don't have tips or tricks this time. I have no solutions. I have knowledge that it's technically something out of our control, but still knowing that rarely helps the guilt. 

So yeah, that's what we mean when we say "ADHD tax", and that's why it can be so freaking painful to deal with.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, except to share that this is a thing and that if you do it too, you're not alone. 

If you do it too, feel free to speak up here.

But right now, I’m going to mourn my delicious wings that would not be safe to eat, and try to find the energy to make something new or the money to order something..neither of which I have right now.

[keezree]

Another big struggle i have is forgiving myself for the debt i accrued due to impulsive behavior and spending.

It was all on projects and hobbies so it wasn't a waste, it just wasn't the proper time to make that purchase.

(I'm also in debt because of trying to manage a household on a paycheck that was 8 hours a WEEK! So there's that also. I had no choice but to rely on my credit card.)

Regardless of how people get into debt, especially if you struggle with impulsivity/self control-

You must forgive yourself!

It can be frustrating and difficult to recover/dig yourself out of debt. Especially if you were in a situation like i was where you really had no choice because of finances/life situations.

It doesn't help you to be cruel to yourself for spending when you shouldn't have.

It's okay that you got in debt. It's okay that you made a purchase. It's not okay to hurt yourself over it.

With time, patience (and maybe even going forward, set an allowance for yourself so you can get yourself a little treat without feeling like you're restraining yourself) you can manage it.

I'm upset with myself but i forgive myself given my circumstances i did the best i could.

And at the end of the day i am more than the money i owe, in a system not designed for me. I am the hobbies and interests and ideas i wanted to help with those purchases.

I am the effort and care i put in towards my husband and home in using my credit card to buy toilet paper/bread/eggs when i couldn't afford it otherwise.

I forgive myself because I was trying my best.

And i still have time to manage my finances. I have the rest of my life.