#just neurodivergent things

[treasure-goblin]

Turns out that when you don't want your neurodivergent child to develop "negative" or "childish" coping mechanisms, you should be more actively involved in helping them cope instead of pretending there's nothing wrong and blatantly denying the child's issues.

Don't be upset that I don't have the skills you never taught me <3

[performing-personhood]

I learned a kind of funny thing and I need to tell you bc it's important, cmere. Lean in so the others can't hear okay?

Ok so like

I know that the reason we are the way we are is because at some point we took up some space - as people do - and someone turned to us and went "whoa, excuse you! What do you think you're doing" or something, right? And they were, like, surprised and offended that we took up space and told us to stay real small and subservient? And we were pretty young, you and me, and we didn't really grok Peopling yet and so we assumed that everyone else was going to have that expectation too?

Okay I just learned: that isn't true at all, that person was just an asshole.

Babe. BABE. This is big.

Ok do you realize ??? that most people when they're around someone - anyone, this is important, it's an unconscious reflex and happens rather automatically - and that person is like "I have an opinion and desires and also some needs and I am going to express them openly" Did you realize, because I didn't, that most people completely intuitively go "oh! There's another person here! Lemme just scootch over so they fit better :)" PEOPLE MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.

People don't ignore us, when we're silently having wants and needs and waiting our turn to be noticed, they just have similar very loud brains and have no idea because beung corporeal is Distracting™️. Not only do people just need a reminder that you're there, they're totally happy to accomodate. In a distinctly "ope! My bad, lemme just- here-" sort of way.

My spouse has a loud brain and drowns it out with Mario Kart. I've spent most of my life quietly entertaining myself in all of these instances, because at some point someone told me I was supposed to "go play" and nobody wanted to play with me so I entertained myself right? Okay. Well I recently had a sea change and decided I was gonna pop my headphones in and watch TV on my tablet when he was doing his Mario Karting. Because the boy will easily go for four hours and I just spontaneously realized that it would actually be ridiculous if he got butthurt at me for putting some quiet tv on for myself instead of watching a grown man play the same video game for hours.

You know what happened? Not only did nobody's feelings get hurt, but I have never made it more than twenty minutes into a show before he ends a match and switches the console off. And I have never asked him to do so. When I'm over there doing my own thing with my own TV show like a person instead of just scrolling on my phone trying real hard not to exist, somewhere in his unconscious he goes "there's a whole other human being on the other end of the sofa from me. I want to turn this off and engage with that person!"

Okay do you understand what I am telling you??

When you behave like a human person and treat yourself like a human person, other people also instinctively treat you like a human person and they're happy to be reminded that they get to engage with you. The person in our past that reacted differently and got mad at us for being a person, plainly and simply: they were just being an asshole to us.

The people we love want to engage with us. Almost all of them!!! And not only that?? Most other human beings feel the same way.

Huge. Big huge.

Don't take my word for it baby cakes okay, take a sec and muster up the courage (it'll be scary the first time, but the thinking about it is always scarier than doing it I swear) and then get back out there and practice being your very own human person occupying human people space, around someone who loves you, and just... watch what happens. The first time someone warmly, graciously, voluntarily accommodates you is the greatest feeling a corporeal being can experience, and you deserve it too.

[themaskedlady]

[littlebirdy0301]

audhd besties

[olive-garden-hoe]

“The fnaf movie was mid it should’ve been scarier-“

LITERALLY SHUT UP OF COURSE IT WASNT SCARY IT WASNT MADE TO BE SCARY IT WAS MADE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO POURED HOURS INTO MAKING FAN GAMES AND FAN THEORIES AND CRINGEY OCS AND SHIPPED THEMSELVES WITH PURPLE GUY AND WISHED THEY COULD BE IN THE FNAF UNIVERSE AND PPL WHO BOUGHT BUDGET MERCH BC THEY WERE TOO YOUNG TO PAY FOR IT.

IT WAS MADE FOR US NOT YOU

[vent-my-woes]

I was getting angry and frustrated because I've lost my voice completely when I remembered something a potential therapist told me when I met with her.

My parents were going over my behaviors, and when asking about my sometimes aggressive tendencies, the woman turned to me and asked me, "what are you feeling when you act out?"

No one had ever asked me that before. It was always "that's wrong" and "don't do that." I told her that when I felt inable to communicate or people wouldn't listen to my communicated needs, I didn't know how to respond, so I would push or scratch or bite to be heard.

Now, I've outgrown those behaviors for the most part, although I still find myself tempted to lash out in those situations, but I've found them coming back now that my voice is gone. I can't correctly communicate what I need or want, and anything that gets in the way of my attempts is subject to my wrath.

But, thanks to that kind woman, I refrained from kicking my sister, who was yelling over me while I was trying to whisper something to my dad.

"What are you feeling?" Disrespected. Ignored. Overlooked. Helpless.

Her question was an amazing tool for me to pinpoint the source of my anger. But there, in that room, the next thing she said was just as important.

"I understand. It's frustrating when people don't listen, especially when it's hard to communicate in the first place."

No one had ever said that to me. Ever. And I keep those words with me to help me settle down in those situations.

Yes, it is fair for me to be frustrated. Yes, I am rightfully upset. No, it is not ok for me to hurt others in my anger. Let's find a different way to get the results we want.

That understanding shown by a total stranger still soothes my nerves even now. That small act of compassion and grace for my behavior, even going so far as to praise me when I said I apologized for my actions, was enough to encourage me to improve my own behavior.

Moral of this story? People do lots of things when they feel strong emotions. Especially when they have trouble communicating their needs like I and so many others do. This is a thank you to the people in my life who always understood there was something more going on, and taking the time to understand and encourage me in my struggle.

[the-fiction-will-knit-the-real]

One time I decided knitting a periodic table would be kind of fun and neat because I was in a chemistry-related Ph.D. program, and then a year later I had 118 knit squares and had to seam them all together

Eventually I finished the seaming and now have a really nice blanket, but I also dropped out of the Ph.D. program so I guess those cancel each other out in terms of my ability to follow through

[chrollohearttags]

I take one day off and now I lose all focus to finish my kinktober fics. I have like six open and I’m jumping around 😭 also….WHAT THE FUCKSHISHDJ THANK YALL SO MUCH BRO!!! Imma scream!!! I literally just hit 10K. Man I really don’t deserve y’all fr 🥹🥹🥹🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[treasure-goblin]

Quick shout out to all my fellow "not disabled enough" buddies. Those who aren't considered "disabled enough" for help or care. Who aren't considered *disabled enough* to have accommodations made or for people to listen to them. Who wish they were "disabled enough" so people would help and care. Who don't consider themselves "disabled enough" to seek answers or give themselves grace. Who "cope well" so they must not be "disabled enough."

Love you all. You deserve love and care, and aid. You deserve to be heard.

[mightbeautistic]

“autistic people may prefer to keep lists of information or things that interest them” huh, weird... anyways, i’m gonna go back to working on my elaborately organized list of every tv show i’ve ever watched

[rustbeltjessie]

One thing that I’ve never seen people talk about (at least not often) is that, with executive dysfunction, there’s definitely “Can’t Do Task” Mode, but there’s also “Can Do Task if Forced (Including Self-Forced) but it Will Create Massive Amounts of Psychic Pain and Basically Take All Your Spoons for the Day” Mode.

Anyway, I’m currently about to be in the latter category, because this is a task I absolutely have to do so I’m forcing myself, and ugh.

[themaskedlady]

[performing-personhood]

Dyspraxics who menstruate:

Do your fine motor skills get worse during PMS?? What is your premenstrual experience like?

I am very, very interested in your lived experiences. Please share them with me if you are comfortable!

[olive-garden-hoe]

I don’t know if this makes sense but the way Abby says “she looks so angry, why does everyone always look at you that way?” And Mike just looks down was so fucking gut wrenching. Like the childish innocence of the question, the pure neurodivergent confusion. He knows something is “wrong” with him, and his sister is starting to notice it too, not because of her own judgment but the judgment of others. The worst part is he doesn’t fucking know the answer. He knows how people look at him, he knows people think he’s a screw up, but he can’t figure out how it got like that, why he can never do the right thing. He looked down because he was just as confused as she is, and he doesn’t really get why everyone looks at him like that, that he accepts that everyone will always look at him like that because it seems his very existence warrants that. The pure neurodivergent horror of that one scene of accepting how you will never be seen as normal is so palpable

[lyndentree63]

At this point I just assume that anyone who plays DnD (or TTRPGs generally) is neurodivergent unless stated otherwise.

[cordialcalliope]

me when jonathan sims </3

sitting in class zoning out completely and entirely bc i already know the subject matter but then someone says something that vaguely reminds me of jonny and my head snaps up and i go ‘oh hey have you heard of the magnus archives’ and when they shake their head i have to analyze them for a moment to see if they’ll make fun of me or not but when i see they Won’t i begin to infodump (or just tell them the basic plot & that it’s really good bc my brain goes so fast that my mouth can’t even begin to keep up sometimes) about it like a Completely Normal Teenager who is very Neurotypical

i frequently take naps in my math class and/or stare off into nothing whilst jonathan sims takes up 99% of my brain space