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deiaiko · 8 months

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#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

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ink-asunder · 1 year

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Having demand avoidance in a medical setting is literally hell. Like, patient autonomy is already absolute ass. It's only made worse when doctors CONSISTENTLY tell you what to do and act like you HAVE to do it instead of consulting with you first like normal fucking people.

#also “”“”medical necessity“”“” is NOT an excuse here.#ive been to plenty of doctors that thoroughly discuss a range/timeline of treatment and explain it IN DETAIL before saying “thats what i-#-recommend“ instead of just going ”okay were gonna do this. im gonna explain the prep to you a mile a minute and if you have any follow up-#-questions im just gonna repeat part of my spiel with no clarification. and if i cant answer your questions too bad :)“#not to mention how many doctors just force you to do things that WILL NEVER WORK #like one therapist tried forcing me to do emdr when i was only IN HER TOWN for the summer and i had no internet access when i was at college #im pretty sure emdr takes several weeks to work and i did not have that kind of time available to me. i couldnt just drop out bc of ptsd.#also the number of times ive had to decline an ESI is stupid. I've already had 2! they didn't work! i had a bad reaction to the meds!#why am i being forced to do it again?#also back surgery. i cant do that because i am a white trash rural kid and our home (which we built ourselves) CANNOT be accessible enough #for spinal surgery recovery. but i went to the surgeon and he was like “thats valid! and also surgery literally wouldnt help you so idk why-#-they sent you here.“ : l It's cool to be right all the time lol #its like. no wonder i developed medical demand avoidance after so much traumatizing and malpracticy bullshit in my life #demand avoidance #medical demand avoidance #chronic illness burnout #chronic illness #chronic pain #medical tw #ptsd #disability #medical neglect #medical trauma #vent #this might be too personal. if i do delete it ill have it rb'd on my boar-deer-whitetrashbutterfly blog first #idk i just havent really been able to find anyone else talking about this specific effect of being chronically ill/disabled.

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mesmerizms · 5 months

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i am BEGGING restaurants to stop putting cheese and garlic on LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER

#LITERALLY TWO OF MY WORST FOODS AS AN AUTISTIC PERSON #sob sob #i'm going out for lunch with my family tomorrow #and we're going to this place that my sister suggested #and she's like ''oh yeah the food there is so good''#and the menu is. literally THE most unfriendly to my flavour of 'tism #one time my sister took me to a restaurant on a whim and i was happy to go because i trusted her #but i looked at the menu (after sitting down) and nearly had a panic attack #and no i can't ask for anything to get removed because whenever i do it's like a 50/50 for if it actually gets removed #and then i feel like an asshole asking for them to fix it #because i don't want them to think that i'm just an annoying picky eater #bc i've already asked once #for example this place does a chili but they put cheese on it (there is no menu variant without cheese)#but like previously mentioned cheese is no bueno para mi #like i can sometimes have it but only in very specific circumstances #and cheese on top of chili is NOT it #i love chili though #but if it arrives with cheese then i can't just scoop it off. it's already been Contaminated #one time i ordered fish and chips with garden peas and they gave me mushy peas instead and i can't eat that #so i sent it back and they came back a few seconds later with the majority of the mushy peas scraped off #but it still had the residue all over the fish and the chips #and i can't eat that!!!!!#and then because it was a pub and not a restaurant i had to stand awkwardly at the bar trying to get someone's attention #it was awful #anyway i should make a vent tag #shapes.vent

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triglycercule · 13 days

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guys i havent written since may (for killer's birthday) but stupid silly swapinverse has been on my mind for a little bit and i threw together this silly (he has a panic attack and throws up) little short draft 4 swapinverse horror!!

“hah… ah… oh god… no, no, nonono…”

he ran. sprinted through the forest like a frightened deer, his demeanor that of prey, although his previous actions aligned more of a predator. panting and shaking, his mind cycled through countless variations of how to react to what just happened, what he just did.

how should he react? how could he react? it was impossible to tell for him in the panicked state. and as the trees in snowdin slowly began to surround him (but weren't they always doing that?), paranoia couldn't run anymore. he was surrounded, he was blocked off, he couldn't escape. not from horrortale, not from snowdin, not from the dusty graveyard he had just left it, and not from the blood smeared across his mouth.

“no, i- what did, what did i do? paps, snowdin, even-undick, no, it-”

paranoia’s incoherent rambles brought his hands to wander across his face, tugging at the massive hole in his skull spanning majority of the left side of his head. picking at the chipped bone didn't help, it never did, but a nervous habit was unbreakable, and he was more than nervous in this moment. in fact, quite terrified. everything was terrifying. he was terrifying. and as the slightest hint of red blood touched his sleeve, the once red, now magenta eye quickly locked onto it, and he couldn't hold it back anymore.

“fuck- oh god, no, aliza-!”

falling to his knees, a disgustingly gorey mess of red, pink, and black spilled from his mouth. sounds of retching and hurling were all that filled the empty forest, and paranoia couldn't bear to look down and see the mess he’d made. the mess he’s caused. wasted food, he would've said. but that statement normally only applied to others. he never imagined using it on himself. choking on his spit and certainly not his blood, tears fell from his eye, joining the vomit and blood seeping into the snow. strange. paranoia didn't think he had enough magic to even shed tears anymore. just for the bare necessities. he managed to surprise even himself, after all this time.

but could it be could be considered surprise, or rather terror? he fit up to his name, certainly horrified at his own actions. forcing out as much of the grossness he could that he’d just consumed, paranoia couldn't help but look down at what he’d done.

red. a lot of red. too much red. he’d never been queasy before, never. he had to adapt to it, being the one to hunt down humans that ran or sneak up on those when times got desperate. there was no time or need to be queasy at what he even considered his job before. a duty he had to do.

but now, there was too much red. far too much red. and he didn't know why, although he totally knew, but paranoia couldn't stomach it. he just threw his guts out (shouldn't they be aliza’s guts, or no?), and here he was, wanting to throw up until his SOUL shattered. his SOUL cycled through those strange 4 shapes, unsure of which to settle on. he couldn't blame it. paranoia himself was unsure of what was even going on anymore. he wanted to run, but was frozen. he wanted to scream, but didn't know who at.

everything was contradicting. everything was going on, and not enough was given for paranoia to understand how to deal with it. and with a muttered curse, he flopped on his side onto the somehow dry snow, losing consciousness in the haze of fear now intermingled with his SOUL.

ik theres probably grammar mistakes i wrote this on my phone,,,, but like idk. had idea for a little moment in paranoia's lore and i sure as hell didn't wanna draw it so i wrote it as an easier media! god this is so much easier compared to drawing idk why i dont do this more often (because youre lazy silly!) anyways swapinverse silly i love swapinverse. i've only thrown up like never so i dont know if this works. also never had a panic attack (i think) and AGAIN i dont know if this is accurate but whatever i dont write to be good i write for expressing my ideas. like everything i do

#i might do another 4 savior and mania??? who knows #i feel like i cannot talk about the others in swapinverse unless i fully finish viceser and crash #and also thalia and melpomene are just too intertwined with multiverse lore that if #i make stuff about them it must be after i finish the swapinverse multiverse and lore and stuff #but mst are kinda seperated from that thing. none of the murder swap trio have anything to do with multiverse #so i can write about them just in their sole universes ans itll be ok #since ive already finished everything about them and their aus #aside from figuring out how theyll join the mv wifh the rest of the swapinverse fellas #i only had swapinverse on mind because i wanted to draw mst poly #i think thats the first time i've ever uttered that phrase. mstpoly. murder swap trio poly #damn...... i really should work on swapinverse more #this is ngl sooo not so ugh i feel like idk. could be cooler could be better #just that it feels kinda like word vomit. not really anything of substance #but ngl thats kinda just how i write sooo idk what i expected #i just get myself into the mindset and mind and write everything i think #my shitty form of method acting! 😇😇😇#guys i made a new friend are you proud of me. it wasn't in school tjo #it was in my art class. i feel like they dont use she/her but idk anything else so ill just stick to they from now #object show fan. also phighting whatever the fuck that is. like an alternate universe version of me #i really shouldnt say that when we've only been friends ish for 2 days. but like theyre kinda similar to me #i think? i dont know. ngl i havent even asked their name yet in case they have another they'd prefer #or pronouns or anything like that i just havent gotten a chance to do so #for some reason we talk like we've been friends for years which is really weird to me. is it just a them thing?#bc ive never spoken to someone like that so openly before its kinda weird ngl. i actually got to speak about my utmv interest which was coo #i think. idk they dont seem that interested which fair. but i sent a paragraph about the mtt and they said tldr and it made me feel ngl sad #because like.... idk..... i tried watching some of the object shows they recommended and they seemed to enjoy that #but then when i recommend underverse or talk about mtt they don't really match my enthusiasm.... which ok thats fair i dont mind that #but it does make me sad. whatever..... whatever ill deal with it. maybe ill keep watching some of these shows they recommended #so i can have something of interest that they like that i can bring up incase they get bored or me or something #tricule write

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deepwoundsandfadedscars · 1 month

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#today is essentially my first day driving combine this year since my 'first day' was only like an hour and a half long almost two weeks ago #but of course my first day we're harvesting the field that was the last one we did last year 'care free'#one year ago today was the last time i saw my sister #and tomorrow will be one year since we harvested this field and afterwards we went home for dinner #and while refueling equipment after dinner my brother in law went to see if my sister felt up to running grain cart for us that evening #and he found out she wasnt home and nobody had heard from her all day #so that was the evening of the 16th and we didnt find her until the morning of the 18th #it was probably somewhere around noon on the 16th when she killed herself #and it just wrecks me cause i can remember exactly what i was doing that whole day #like someone here sent me an ask about whumpy music so i spent hours that day compiling a playlist to share here #and i was talking with a friend (in a group chat that consisited of me my sister and our friend) about their zucchini harvest #and another discord server i was gushing about it being the new moon in a Blue Moon month plus the persied meteor shower #and the whole time i had no idea my world had already shattered without me knowing #it makes me hate this field and i hate that even with the way we rotate crops every year it still came up ready this week #probably would've been worse if it came up on the 16th again but it's not much better being on the 15th

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mimbotomy · 11 months

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I'm sorry to hear that planning has been stressful, but best wishes this Saturday!!! I'm so excited for you and your wedding and your marriage and wish you every happiness 💕.

Thank you! I am very excited too! Mostly because I get to marry the love of my life 🩷🩷🩷 but also because there are only four days left and judging from my track record this last month that means I will probably have to deal with🤞🏼only🤞🏼four more things going wrong! 🎉 And then I’ll be married to my favorite person and the stress will probably be gone! ✨

(Please send good vibes my way it’s been a very weird hectic month 😂)

#if anyone’s interested in all the stuff that’s gone wrong #I’ve had to deal with my venue #my caterer #and my photographer all cancelling last minute #I still might not have a photographer bc I need the venue to sign off on his insurance and he still hasn’t sent it #my fiance asked me to wear a Pakistani dress and the one I ordered came late and was terrible #like who uses BLUE MARKER to mark out where the embroidery is going on PAPER THIN WHITE SILK????#I got a new dress tho and the tailor should be done by Friday morning #our guest list just keeps growing bc his family doesn’t seem to understand the idea of an RSVP #my fiancé’s family also doesn’t seem to like the idea of specifics 😬#or understand that we are trying to keep things small #aka his mom invited five more people last week and told me about them today after I already submitted a final guest count #communication has just kinda been terrible all around tbh #my phone keeps trying to commit suicide #we were informed of a serious allergy like two days ago #so now the menu has to change and our caterer is super unhappy about that #my fiance asked me yesterday if I was wearing a veil and then asked me to wear one so now I have to find a veil #I realized on Sunday that I never actually asked my cousins to be my bridesmaids #which isn’t so bad since no bridesmaid dresses but it was embarrassing #and my anxiety caught up with me yesterday and I spent the night stress puking!#it’s been great 👍🏼#but I’m going to marry the love of my life on Saturday and that’s what matters #even tho it kinda feels like the universe is trying to tell me otherwise

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xolaanii · 2 months

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complaining about chronic pain and all i get is either a glassy eyesd 'damn that shucks', a 'well my back hurts too' or straight up anger

well what if i go nuts? what if i bite and maul and bite?

#it's already hard to admit this is chronic pain in the first place #why make it worse for me #it's ruining my fucking life #i tried doing a manual labor job and my bones and joints popped all over the place #immediately was told the job wouldn't be for me and got sent home #and i had to go to physical therapy right after just so i could walk again!!!!!#and as i'm pretty much in tears i'm told 'well you're going to have to make sacrifices you can't just not do these jobs'#what if i kill you all #it's been 3 weeks and i'm still mad and getting angrier because i keep getting jibes about it #vall txt

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butterflies-and-bumble-bees · 2 months

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.................

#in the last week my mom has gotten a new couch #a new stereo #and a new cat #I have gotten stuck making sure my current cat and dog get along with the new one #I have started orienting at a new job #I have had to decide if I'm going on leave from or quitting my old job #I had a fever of 103.3 #I started 6 new supplements to try and stop me from getting sick again (second time I had a fever that high in 2 weeks bby)#(enough to make me almost throw up if I take them all at once so I now have to take pills 3 times a day #so I only feel like throwing up a little {we're gonna ignore the fact that I've already f'd up remembering to take them 2ce #in the 2 days I've been on them cause adhd})#and I think this might actually be my limit #anyways I just had a massive meltdown cause the new sofa is only comfortable to sit on and if I try to lie down on it I'm uncomfortable #and lying down on the couch and doing stuff on my computer/knitting/drawing is how I relax after a rough day/if I'm having a migraine/etc #all of which I'm dealing with rn ofc #so that just sent me over the edge #and I am yet again convinced I can never be a good wife and mother because I could never subject my spouse #let alone my children to existing in the same space as me when I get like this #there were only 3 or four times I can remember my dad getting like this #but I remember those times so vividly #we never inherit just the good stuff from our parents we always have to fall right into the same pitfalls despite swearing we never would

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asteria-argo · 7 months

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When is your birthday? I hope it is good!

the 1st of march! it's currently the 25th of February for me so I've got like four days left and then I am officially 20! I'm going to the history and art museum like an hour from my place the day of and then the day after I'm having a costume party with my friends, so hopefully it'll be fun!

#i've got both of my outfits planned already plus the outfit for the family dinner I'm having like a week after #I got my cake order in over a month in advance because I REFUSE to have a repeat of last year even if that means organising my own cake #I sent my family and friends an itemised list of birthday present ideas that included price ranges #I stood beside my dad and WATCHED him order my present so I know for a fact he has gotten me one #this might all seem dramatic but last year my birthday was an absolute mess #I didn't get any presents I had to buy my own cake from the grocery store on the day of and my dad wasn't even in town #i mean he's not in town for this one either #but I have been super annoying about making sure he remembers that just because he can't see me I still exist

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toytulini · 1 year

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give me the strength not to google covid teeth rn lest i spiral into a Health Anxiety Meltdown about it during the night

#toy txt post #i mean. im sure i will anyway. i already am #they feel so bad and i have covid it must be related etc #but i dont need anything i can Latch On To you know???#anyway i had a fucking telehealth today to discuss paxlovid and i fucking SLEPT THROUGH IT #I WAS TRYING TO NAP FOR LIKE AN HOUR NOT GET THE MOST RESTFUL SLEEP IVE GOTTEN IN THE LAST LIKE 4 DAYS #ARGH #I SET MULTIPLE ALARMS AND THEY EITHER DIDNT GO OFF OR THEY DIDNT WAKE ME AND IDK WHICH #im so mad #anyway #to comfort myself my current theory is that my nose being so stuffed has me breathing through my mouth more while awake and asleep and its #drying me tf out + all the meds that are also drying me tf out #ive been taking like 2 showers a day im like a fuckjng frog rn. i want to just live in the steam #my bedroom has been like. 50%+ humidity too like #im drinking so much water #anyway. sent a message to the dr begging to reschedule. asked mom for special extra sensitive for super weenie babies toothpaste.#called out of work for the rest of the week. when mom is done showering ill go again and hopefully be calm enough after to take a benadryl #and go to sleep instead of stay up all night panicking #my sleeping has been so bad despite my efforts #covid #ugh

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nerdie-faerie · 11 months

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Being an adult is so fun you get to tell TV licencing to fuck off, register for pension schemes, chase up IT issues, make returns, figure out what you're gonna eat this week so you can actually go grocery shopping an- *is laid face down on the floor*

#adulting #ace is grumpy bean #im having a great morning what about you? love spending my only day off catching up on chores and errands #tbf i did finally receive all of my packages that were being held hostage at reception so it hasnt been all bad #but one of my packages needs to be returned and i gotta exchange my hair dye before i buy groceries today cus i grabbed the wrong shade #i have sent more emails than i would like to have today had to email my professor cus of my student account not working chase IT services up #about that again email about sorting out a refund email the pension scheme i got enrolled in cus the registration wasnt working #then deal with tv licencing 'youre under investigation' shut up 🙄 as if anyone watches live tv anymore anyway #i also forgot to speak to my mum while tryna sort stuff out lately so she texted me worried that something had happened this was after shed #apparently called me while i was sleeping but i ignored cus it ended too quickly and i already got woken up by them testing the fire alarm #its felt like a lot of admin today and i still gotta get groceries but i dont know what im gonna eat or rather what i wanna cook this week #so my shopping list is slow going and i dont really wanna leave my flat anyway but the kitchen needs sorting too cus my flatmates are vile #anyway most of my stuff for Halloween came and lets just say im really glad to have next weekend off for it

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kaidabakugou · 1 year

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on a lighter note, i’m getting a new comm soon and i got the sketch last night in the middle of everything and it looks so good!!! i’m so excited to show you guyssss!🥺

#kai.rambles #it’s with nanamin🥹#also the artist has been so fkn amazing through everything bc they were the ones to let me know that they couldn’t see my blog anymore #like it got terminated the second after i sent the payment for the comm #so they messaged me through paypal to then switch to discord and a few hours later they already had the sketch ready 😩#to which i only cried more from how good it already looked lol but y’all don’t need to know that part yk 😪

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0tul1ss · 1 year

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#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long????#i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again #it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else !#now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from #and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk #or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose #i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it #i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life #i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me #i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all #i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have #<-going insane #anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship #anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do #good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post #ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with #[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!]#and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me #and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this--#that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle #vent

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hrokkall · 2 years

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Actually fuck it, contributing to the ‘how does Po3’s body work’ conversation. Ik you said you dont care to explain how he floats around, but I’ve been seeing it as almost like. Yknow how 2 magnets, when facing the same ends, repel each other? It’s kinda like that. Po3 basically repels himself from the floor. He can float higher up, but it’s more difficult for him to do and he can’t do it for as long, and he can float lower if he needs an easier time moving around. And then he just shuts it off to sit down on a surface. I’ve been mentally referring to it as his anti-gravity system for some reason, too. Anyways stairs are a pain in the ass and THAT is why he hates Magnificus /j

I was initially thinking something like that too, but then I kind of realized “that would probably only work in the factory where there would be a magnetic surface to repel himself from” (which is obviously not the case in canon—it makes a trip halfway across the map just to rub Leshy’s defeat in his face, and it’s seen hovering in front of the middle island stones during its finale battle in act 2 as well). Another option is that it’s a jet-propulsion type of thing but seeing as P03 is able to move around more or less silently that’s out of the question. Neither one of these would give the “hover” blue ring visual effect that P03 has.

But with video game logic either one of these could very well be the answer, same goes with just about any other option—if I ever end up writing something on this it’s honestly probably something that will be chalked up to “it’s very advanced/it just kind of works” (the same way that Leshy’s telekinetic speech “just works”, Magnificus’s eyes don’t decay despite being gouged out and locked in a box, and Grimora’s whole haphazard thread-and-needle restitching of heavy body parts is enough to keep them on). Still fun to speculate but my point is I don’t think there would be an actual working real-life equivalent answer for this one like there would for some of its other features </3

#Re: Inbox #scover-va #Cw body horror #Cw eye trauma #<- Oops.#03 Struggling with stairs is hilarious though I’m taking that #Same with the whole levitation thing. I like to imagine it wouldn’t be very tall if it had legs either #Maybe a little taller than Mags but that’s not saying much because he’s like 5'3'' minus the hat #Meanwhile 03 can just hover to the seven foot mark around the other Scrybes. It likes to feel tall (and it also gives it a better view)#I don’t know if that would wear it out though; after a while yes but it’s been doing it so often it probably has already accounted for #-any additional strain and has modified it’s hovering unit accordingly #I’ll be honest I don’t know much about magnetic levitation; I’m basing this on my knowledge of maglev trains #I’d love to write several posts just discussing what’s up physically with the Scrybes but I’ve already talked about that in posts before #I’d just be a little pickier about hand-waving P03 because I’m a computer guy #With Leshy I can just say ''Yeah sure he’s mixotrophic'' despite that not really being possible and I don’t super care that it’s not #But with P03 if I described something wrong my head would be in my hands Immediately so I have to compromise and just be vague about it #So I can vaguely allude to what systems it has but if you asked me to show how they all fit together I would have to either go all out-#-and make a diagram or just Explode. Neither of which I’m going to do tbh #These tags are a mess let’s move on #Thank you for the ask though; I think this was sent a bit back I’ve just been busy the past couple of days

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