#demand avoidance

[mikeyfuckinway]

just learned about demand avoidance they didnt lie i really can avoid those demands

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Traits I Struggle to Describe to Non-Autistic People

Neurodivergent_lou

[chariix-creates]

Why I never finish things

[surrah698]

My sassy PDA be like...

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

PDA autistic culture is hating the demand that comes with labels so much that you don’t even like identifying as agender because it still feels like…a gender (a concept which society forcefully imposed on you, and you therefore want no part of)

[mary-maud]

Gunilla Gerland, A Real Person

[autball]

And Did You Know…that that is part of the reason why “appears comfortable in role play and pretend” became a “key criteria” for PDA? (PDA = Pathological Demand Avoidance, or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.)

For a long time it was considered an essential part of PDA, but it was changed to “optional” not too long ago. And for good reason. We know now that plenty of autistic people do engage in imaginative play and role play, AND that not all PDAers do.

While role play is very often just for fun, no matter who you are, it can also sometimes be used as a coping mechanism. It can be used to get out of things, or to make it easier to get through something challenging, or even as a way to mask.

It’s not always a cause for concern, but if you find your person (or yourself) spending more time as someone/something else than as themselves (or yourself), it might be a sign that some changes are needed. For example, you may need to lower stress/demands, or you may to ensure there are more places where they feel safe being themselves.

But again, it’s not always a bad thing! If your child does use role play as a way to cope or avoid things, it’s okay to just go with it in the moment. If it helps them get through doing a hard thing, just play along! If they use it to try and “get out of something,” hear that they’re telling you they can’t handle it for some reason. Maybe there’s something in their way that you could help with, or maybe they just need you to back off right now.

This is talked about a lot more in the PDA community than in the wider autistic community, so hopefully this brings awareness to people who haven’t yet come across it. But I do wanna reiterate that it is not all PDAers and not only PDAers who use role play in this way (or at all). So don’t let anyone try to tell you that you or your kid is or isn’t something over this particular trait alone.

(Image description in Alt Text.)

[theseaofworry]

I wasn't going to, but I am now

[2009isitanyways]

[gaiathewildanimal]

A list of conditions that I have!

1. Autism

2. Learning difficulties

3. Demand avoidance

4. Anxiety

5. Anger issues (When I’m not online)

6. OCD

7. Mental illness

8. Asthma (Sometimes)

9. Mental health problems

10. Sensitivity to loud sounds linked to my autism.

[knifeforkspooncup]

Demand avoidance is so silly sometimes like brain what do you mean you'd rather redraw something 85 times and have a breakdown than look at a single fucking reference photo?

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic and ‘Over-reacting’ to the Little Things

Neurodivergent_lou

[solitudewithlute]

Shoutout to my people with demand avoidance, you guys are my people and we need entirely different self-care advice than the neurotypicals. The world is really cruel to those who are different.

[siphisket]

Demand avoidance is so stupid what do you mean "i can't post my sketchbook or else i can never draw in it again"

[aurangg]

I really don’t like it when people tell me what to do, especially if I was already planning to do that thing. I will now not do that thing just because you told me to do it. You’ve ruined both our days now.

I take being told what to do as the other person assuming I’m stupid. I don’t need you to give me orders, I’ll do what I want and I’ll do it my way.

[mary-maud]

I had no problem dealing with failing at something that I had decided to do on my own. I simply tried again until it worked. When I had set the goal myself, my patience was infinite. But when other people demanded something of me, I found it difficult that I failed so often. And every time it happened, I became even more sensitive and felt I was one great failure.

A Real Person, Gunilla Gerland