#again i have autism and don't have id i just know that this is likely relevant to id and it is also likely relevant to other disabilities >

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

The plaintext version of this post is below the second underscore divider.

_

"Common sense" is not actually a thing.

If something is common sense to you, it is actually simply just because at some point in your life, perhaps a very long time ago, it was made explicit enough for you, and you were able to internalize it long term.

Even mainstreamly, things that are common sense to some are not to others. Then we have differing backgrounds, and then we have disability, about which this post was originally first of all intended.

"Common sense" is literally very close to "basic DNI". Or, "this food contains allergens. You know, the basic ones."

_

[Plaintext:

“Common sense” is not actually a thing.

If something is common sense to you, it is actually simply just because at some point in your life, perhaps a very long time ago, it was made explicit enough for you, and you were able to internalize it long term.

Even mainstreamly, things that are common sense to some are not to others. Then we have differing backgrounds, and then we have disability, about which this post was originally first of all intended.

“Common sense” is literally very close to “basic DNI”. Or, “this food contains allergens. You know, the basic ones.”

/End plaintext]

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

So this is an ongoing argument with my roommate. I (22nb) am autistic, and T (55f) has ADHD.

Now to get this out of the way, i do say thank you. I was always taught to wait a moment after receiving something, take a bite or appreciate what you were given for a breath, before thanking someone so that you could add something more to it. My roommate and I both agree that i do say thank you the vast majority of the time, but the problem for her is that i do not say it fast enough.

T often gives me a "tHaNk yOu" while the item in question is still being passed. This seems ridiculous to me as i haven't even been fully given it yet.

In addition, i have the dishes as my household chore, and i do them daily, despite almost never making any dishes myself. I do this to both support T and her diet, as well as contribute to the household that i live in.

T thanks me near daily for doing the dishes. This always seems weird and unnecessary to me, as it is my responsibility. I have told her this. I dont expect to be thanked for doing my own laundry, after all. In return, T gets upset that i dont notice and thank her for taking out the garbage/recycling/compost, to which she is the main contributor to and is under her responsibilities.

As for please: i do say this much more rarely. I think it feels overly preformative and fake, and i typical choose more "would you mind closing my door for me" "if its not too much of a hassle, could you toss me my waterbottle" "id appreciate it if you could preheat the oven while you're in the kitchen"

I think that these work perfectly fine as a replacement. Please just has always felt wrong and fake. No one else in my entire life has ever commented on this before.

Thirdly; T has been upset that i don't respond to her apologies appropriately. After she is snappy at me (due to her emotional disregulation from ADHD) (last time it was because i asked if she was using the oven instead of asking if i could use the oven myself, for reference) there is a 50/50 shot that she will come and apologize.

I dont often accept apologies. Apologies are for the person saying them to get it off their chests, or to make you put it behind them. Usually, ill say something like "it was just one of those days, y'know?" Or "its alright, water under the bridge"

Because i was always taught that apologies came with a promise of change, and T can't (or won't) change how she re-directs her frustration at unrelated things to things ive done "wrong". When she told me the correct response was "i forgive you", i decided to not engage instead of telling her directly that i didnt forgive her (because i am certain she will do it again). (I usually dont engage with her when shes irritated: she never notices and just wants to say her piece so im not being rude here)

She said that i was being disrespectful, "like always", and when i suggested it may be more difficult for me due to my autism, she said that we made plenty of accommodations for me (which i think is false), and that i just needed to do this for her comfort. That please/thank yous were something she needed to feel appreciated and i should be making more accommodations for her.

To me, i feel like she is getting really caught up on semantics and is being a little controlling about it. But maybe its just a boundary? I dont know if i could commit to changing my language for her though, i feel like i will just start forgetting after awhile because it feels so fake. Shouldn't it be better for me to say things genuinely than just for her approval?

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

how to not let your autistic inner child win (or how to write an if) by the secretary

[id: a student with glasses being pointed at and mocked by two students on screens, and two more offscreen with only their arms showing. the central bullied student looks sad, and everyone else is laughing. end id]

Ruhoh, is this another secretary essay? Well, yes it is! The gender politics one will eventually come around when I feel like it, but this one, as the title suggest, is about how to write an IF. And since I'm presuming most of you are on the spectrum (or on a spectrum), it gets a little tongue-in-cheek.

hehe

Anyways, if you have autism, you have eternal swag. It's just true! But having so much swag makes it a problem when writing, or doing any sort of project. This is something I've noticed from people who don't have evil autism. Those not afflicted by the rare autism version of evil autism (my autism) will often be really bad at just... doing things - despite having all the abilities to do so! I think it might be a adhd thing or something too. Anyways, I love helping people, (this is my evil autism), and I'd like to share some girl tips on how to kill your inner child :)

I think something I've noticed from people making any sort goals- online, real life, job, working, etc - is it is straight forward. ie: I want to graduate from high school, I want to make a video game, I want to journal everyday. These are all achievable using your abilities that you learn and gain through your life, and failure doesn't exempt you from trying again. Thing is, this specific thing I just described (straightforward goals) is something I think a lot of autistic people struggle with.

I deeply remember sitting down in the corner of my high school, looking like the hottest girl who played pokemon on her ds when someone who had +1% more autism than me told me that, one day, he was going to make the most cool pokemon game ever where you could date other characters and have babies and have your children go on adventure too. As a 14 year old, I thought to myself 'bitch, shut up' but also, 'this is so unrealistic, but he really believes it, uh'. And he did! And you know, I think that's okay. I think it's okay to believe that you can make things that you cannot do at the moment - I mean that's just how life it. We didn't go on the Moon thinking we couldn't

But... the guy didnt know how to code, or how to make games, or how to program, or how to develop stories, or how to make art, etc etc etc. He didn't know these things, but he wanted to make these things. And I see this to a certain degree quite a bit when it comes to creation. I want to say: it's a very important of the process but simply one part.

I think being able to imagine what you could do if you have all the resources in the world, all the time, and all the help is important - but it is even more important to look within and go 'alright with all this in mind - what can I do?'

And if you're in the field of IF, well, what can you do? Coding, storytelling, character design, plotting arcs, etc. I think the skills can be learned by anybody (sidenote incoming)

If anybody ever fucking says that art is innate, they're fucking lying. It's a skill you grind out. You work it out. You work even if you feel not creative. You write words even if they don't come to you naturally. You draw even if the images can't be conjured. You work you work you work and you make something. You cannot always make art when feeling creative because you aren't always creative. you must be willing to die for your art, yes, but you must also be willing to create without any creative sparks! If you want to be an artist, you better work bitch.

(sidenote ending) and with that in mind, you need to develop restraints onto yourself. In IF, it's actually to create restraints, and here are some I suggest for all of my fellow autists who might struggle with them. I love you guys, truly, anyways. here they are:

restrain characters.

Make three characters + a main character. Write a couple of scenes with them. Is that your maximum? Is that too much? Go up and down until you find the right amount. You can add more character when your writing is better. Stick to a minimum per scene. If you have ideas for 30 characters, you can easily melt them into 10. Seriously. Put the heat on maximum and start creating new fun dolls to play with.

2. restrain scenes

You cannot write 500 per interaction. This is a bad idea because a) you might do the thing where you run out of creativity which you need to learn to do without but it is hard and b) interactions are time limited and time sensitive. not everybody will go through them. if you have a 30k update, but most people will only see 1k... are you really writing a game for them or for yourself? I made my wife do this format:

youll gain the ability to gauge if a scene is important or not eventually, I'm sure.

3. restrain area

I recommend writing like a murder novelist. You have a closed circle, and the player cannot leave it. they can only be within that space. That space that exists within that specific story is the only thing they have access to. it can be a school, a city, a bedroom - but its limited. you create setpieces that players interact with. some set pieces are the same with just a different coat of paint on.

anyways, i believe in dreaming big, but i also believe that we have little time on our hands to create. when wanting to make something, restraint yourself. its always way more fun to find ways to break out of our bonds then just roaming free, right? I mean... maybe not. I'm not your mother, you know.

[headspace-hotel]

hi, so i do have a question regarding trans people- i completely support trans people and people should have the right to do whatever they want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and i would never side with those who try to take away someone's autonomy. that being said, why do people want to be the specific genders(men, women)- what exactly does one feel? is it identifying with gender stereotypes? wanting the other kind of body? i can understand why someone would want to be enby, but can't seem to understand specific reasons why people would want to be transmasc or transfem etc. i've read posts before where people have wanted to be women/men because of gender stereotypes- they wanted to play with dolls/liked feminine/masculine colors/clothes etc. but it's obviously something that shouldn't be stereotyped against and anyone should be allowed to play/like anything they want to, whether it's feminine or masculine. so what exactly is it that makes people want to be either? again, though even if i didn't understand why someone else felt that way, i fully support them.

I'm not even transgender in any flavor so I'm not the best person to ask, but I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be individual for every person.

I think like, the larger society has latched onto the narrative of "I always wanted to play with 'girl' toys and do 'girly' things" because that's what makes sense to a cisgender audience in a culture where behavior and clothing and toys are very obviously gendered.

But that's not, like, what "makes" someone transgender—it's a way of explaining it.

I mean, okay, maybe I can talk about this a little. I'm a cis woman. I've thought about it! I like being female, it feels comfortable to me, and experimentally imagining anything else feels...bad.

This has nothing to do with gender stereotypes—I don't shave, I don't wear makeup, I usually cut my hair super-short, I'll wear my brothers' clothes if I like them, I always actively hated the "girl" toys as a kid (though I was never labeled a 'tomboy'—I feel like autism overpowered any specific gendered label that would otherwise apply to me, for complicated reasons. I was a Weird kid). It's just...I don't know. It's nice when one of my friends in chat in a game i'm playing calls me "she"—like hell yeah! Your mental concept of me is a girl :D

If anything, I started to feel more "woman" when I started dressing and styling more masculine—it was actually seeing pictures of butch lesbians online that made me see an image of myself I liked for the first time. I wanted to be a woman who's like a guy at the auto parts store.

I think some people just have no internal sense at all about their gender, and some of these people probably ID as non-binary, and some of these people probably just identify with whatever they were assigned because that's what's convenient. There are no wrong answers here, right?

And some people have a really strong unwavering internal sense about it, and it's not exactly able to be distilled down to feelings about your body or clothes or interests or whatever, but it exists. I know that I "feel" like a woman even though I couldn't say why. It's somewhere in between "this feels accurate" and "this feels nice."

[system-of-a-feather]

Thoughts on ESDM

So one of the like... three or four main reasons I moved out to Colorado was to learn and try out ESDM - or Early Start Denver Model. For those that don't know, its a relatively new but highly regarded (albeit some traditional ABA fans dislike it apparently, go figure) due to its active incorperation of developmental and attachment based studies + having some of the most robust research

The thing that has me humoring it at all is that they really dont do any discrete trial training (DTT) or any dedicated "work time" and everything is based in pro-stim play therapy

I heard of it first from my time in university cause the university I went to actually had one of the largest labs participating in research for the treatmenr and I heard it actually from one of their autistic researchers which they do actively look to hire on the labs page

I ALSO ran it by a vibe check from what my therapist (autism specialist, hates ABA) to see what hes heard and thought of it and he hasn't had extensive access to it, but all hes heard and seen is positive stuff and had no outstanding concerns

And so as a hardcore traditional ABA hater who would rather die than do traditional ABA again in ANY form under even the "best clinic" - I was genuinely just curious to see what the hype is

I'm honestly a skeptic despite what I've heard, but I'm on day three of training and (honestly have been doing petty tests to see how dedicated they are to supporting neurodiversity by not only NOT masking actively just stating any reserves I have and dissing traditional ABA whenever I get the chance) so far... I hesitantly want to say I think its living up to the hype???

Tomorrow is when we talk about how we handle "challenging behavior" so I'm KIND of waiting for the second shoe to drop cause if it does at any point in training, it would be there.

But genuinely, compared to what I saw in ABA clinics and even the non-ABA special education (for kids with extra support academically, developmentally or emotionally) classrooms, the kids genuinely seem to be having a much better of a time and actually wanting to be here.

It'll probably be a few months of actually working here before I have a firm stancd about what I think about it but I figured Id document some thoughts and observations I had on the treatment as I didn't see much of anyone talking about it in any "hey I actually hate ABA but do acknowledge that some neurodivergent kids need early support that create a high demand for care that is hard to meet with the current structure of mental health care and availibility of therapists and so I would really like to genuinely see something not traumatizing that can help" cause I personally am hesitant to trust "research" on anything based on ABA cause "research" exists for ABA as well

Anyways Ill be making this a thread of journal-ish things.

[mobblespsycho100]

👍psychoanalyze ur kabru playlist now boy

yes I shall #1 boykisser... 🫡

ask game thing

anyway formatting the last post was kinda hell for me. which is why I'll do the same exact formatting for this one...

(rambling all over the place is commencing)

1. Valley of The Dolls by MARINA

baby. where do i freaking begin.

"In the valley of the dolls, we sleep" -> his adoptive mother, Milsiril, is a big fan of collecting dolls. Like, plushies of everything. She animates them to fight, but they're also there to soothe her. She also adopts a lot of children from short-lived races who don't have a family and she got allegations that she treats them all like her dolls lmao... I mean she kind of does in the sense that they're all precious to her. She does respect their autonomy but uhhh still living with such a doting and overbearing/overprotective mother makes u wanna break outta the dollhouse the cage . be free . hashtag transgenderism also gosh im getting off topic . anyway i bet Kabru slept with a lotta those dolls. in his comfy bed . that he left behind because hes not abt that life mama he wanna see the world and save it and get killed in dungeons. boy.

"Got a hole inside of me / Living with identities / That do not belong to me" -> Grouping these lyrics together because it makes sense for my twisted narrative i mean my very real and based takes. Anyway, he's got a hole inside of him the void in his heart (in his mind) and thats why. his autism and ptsd masking swag. thats as eloquent as i can put it. theres a lot more i can say though

"In my life, I got this far" -> He survived the tragedy of Utaya his hometown . the bloodbath because of the dungeon. It has to be for a purpose ™ . It's because he has to save the world from suffering the same fate and it's his burden to bear it's his purpose it was why he survived (the survivor's guilt... goodness man. trauma processing of all time. :[ )

"Now I'm ready for the last hoorah" -> boy . letting these panels speak for itself. putting it under the cut because spoilers for the peeps seeing this maintagged and they're not caught up with manga .

yeah boy hes falling. fallen. uhm. in the pit. Ready for the last hoorah in this case like. yeah 🤣 just leaving it up to laios (Liar . kabru and mithrun dungeon adventure speedrun)

"Dying like a shooting star" -> guy keeps dying. not even like a shooting star really. well. ig hes going out in style somewhat id getting crushed by Falin's chimera dragon claw counts as shooting star style

2. Lip Sinking by The Hoosiers

We all know Sash does not play about The Hoosiers which is why I have 26 damn The Hoosiers songs on there I should get awarded tbh .

Now Lip Sinking is really good because it's another one of those scammer / masking guy anthems i keep talking about. These lyrics in Verse 5 in particular is really easy to match to Kabru's character moment™ though, so let's break it down.

"I float above my body" -> Common depersonalization experience. For trauma reasons, Kabru probably feels like this a lot sometimes but specifically in this scene...

(apologies for no alt text peeps . but this is the friendship confession scene for those in the know if it hasnt loaded in yet)

anyway, back to the show (psychoanalyzing Kabru) . I think this disconnect with his words VS his thoughts and his heart is so real. Like. seeing urself out of ur body is again a depersonalization thing, and idk if hes feeling depersonalization in this moment specifically but he was really out of it and in a sort of , scrambled and intensely anxious state. His usually calm and cool persona slash facade is Crumbling and man he hates that .

"Must be out of my mind / Cos I watch myself / Getting it wrong everytime" -> He's like. man what the hell am I saying

letting the page speak for itself again because It's like. its there i mean its in tha text what am I supposed to dissect hes dissecting himself already 🤭😭 okay. 'What am I saying' 'I can't find the words' so true man idk what the hell im saying either rn

"I can't tell you how I'm really feeling" -> because he doesn't know his own emotions. He thinks he does, he has been so good at controlling them and like being fake about what he's truly feeling in his heart, adjusting his personality for others' sake. So they trust him, believe in him, listen to him. But for Laios, how does he even say anything? Before this, the words just spilling out, he didn't even know how he felt about Laios. It sounds ridiculous even to himself and that's why he clamps his mouth afterwards but indeed it Is what he was truly feeling all along... (and then Laios thinks he's lying and hes like "NO BITCH!!!? what?!!!?! im being vulnerable and honest rn?!?" )

"Cuz I'm just lip-syncing" -> for so long that's what he's been doing. lip syncing, saying things he doesn't really mean to influence others' perception of him... but this time his mouth moved faster than his mind racing with thoughts. that he's able to convey what he truly wanted all along and finally admit to himself and his own consciousness. like. aaaahgh. man hes so special to meeee....

bonus: the outro's lyrics is rlly good aha. he can finally say what he actually feels... he can be #real.

3. Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

This one is . a lot of vibes I think.

"Are we allies or enemies? / This will be the death of me / This will be the death of me" -> He legit says this to Laios . like hes still wondering if they're allies or enemies . Technically he doesn't want them to be enemies. he's cautious but he knows Laios isn't really a bad guy but like, his mind just keeps fixating on Laios and the steps he takes to get the dungeon under control so. hes desperately trying to figure it out because goodness this guy is so. waugh

"All is fair in love and war, but I can't fight with you anymore / This will be the death of me" -> his mental conflict is sooo tasty to me. like . all is fair in love and war !!! any method is justifiable !!! means justifies the ends but also he understands that in the end he can't fully wrap his head around Laios' love of monsters but he knows that Laios will be the one to conquer the dungeon because he also loves his family. He can't fight with him anymore and he can't "kill" him anymore because somehow this man has wormed his way in. well, he never wanted him dead in the first place but I find that he often thinks about killing him to save humanity from his... well. freakishness (complimentary) (concerning sometimes) ;;; but in the end Kabru lets him go and is willing to trust and support Laios till the end ... also once again the repetitiveness of "this will be the death of me" because he's stressed as helll!!!!

"What happens now, do we have another go?" -> I think this is post-Marcille being talked down out of being dungeon lord . Kabru's probably like ok so now what. well. Laios goes its my turn with the dungeon lording 😭😭 (and shit goes down) (but its okay he got it covered)

"Do we bow out and take our seperate roads?" -> Now this is probably when they're (the whole gang) is like "WHERE'S LAIOS DID HE DIE?" no he lives guys its fine. and namari toshiro and kabru run at him in relief. wauh. and also ofc the whole people coming together to eat faligon meat and save Falin ... yippeee... so yeah they don't go seperate roads because Kabru is like yeah imma be Laios' pr manager . #royaladvisor . sticking with him fr fr

"I'll admit I had my doubts / But I want to be let in, not out / But I want to be let in, not out" -> again the repetition ... of him wanting to help. I've mostly been talking abt how this entire song is Kabru's conflicted thoughts @ Laios but this can also be Kabru lending a helping hand to Mithrun at the end of everything. Because he's the one to like help Mithrun realize that there is a purpose to living and like . new desires and ppl who care abt him... but also yeah Kabru "i want to be let in, not out" because he wants to help out Laios with running the new kingdom instead of being in the background again and being ignored ahhaa he wants to be friends for real (and maybe even . lovers. lets go gay people)

ANYWAYYY YEAH THATS THE END WOOOOO idk how to close this out. happy belated birthday kabru and ty juno for sending this in ajshjdhsb :33 ♡

[zebulontheplanet]

Hello

I am so sorry if this not good to ask/ the right place to ask (idk how tumblr works yet). Please lmk if so and i will not do it again /gen.

I am concerned I may be exhibiting signs of catatonia. I know it is not smth to be self dxd and is very serious but I can't find a huge amount of useful things online and idk what to do so i thought id ask you so i can get a better idea of whether to seek professional help seeing as you have lived experience with it. I hope that's okay

I have slowly been losing skills over the past year (not in burnout). Ive lost a lot of maskjng ability, I find speaking harder and often talk like a younger child despite my advanced vocabulary as a result, I get stuck on tasks and now need physical or verbal prompting to do a lot of tasks like bADLs i didnt need this for before (not counting iADLs bc i dont need to do those because im 15, nearly 16, altho i doubt they would be better). My sensory issues have worsened and so have my meltdowns and shutdowns (which were already not great). I have episodes where I feel like I literally cannot move and my body won't move or will only move very slowly or jerkily. It is like it won't process what my brain is telling it to do. I also stim more often and far more noticeably. Idk who to go to. :(

What other overall areas does catatonia cause decline in - for example does it cause social skills to decline, etc? I've noticed my social skills worsening quite a lot too which is why i ask.. the stuff ive found online can be a bit vague/ confusing or not what i want to know.

I'm scared because idk what is happening and it's really confusing. You don't have to respond to this and I'm sorry for rambling.. is it worth going to a professional? Can this kind of thing be caused by other stuff? If I were to go to a professional it would probably take ages because the waitlists are so long here. I'm just really confused and kinda scared and I dont want to lose more skills :(

Hello, so regular catatonia is different from autism catatonia with regression. Catatonia is very serious, and if you believe you are having it then PLEASE seek out medical attention. Autism Catatonia is usually regressive, and gets worse with time without treatment. Which, I am personally experiencing and it’s the reason I’m on medication for it.

Catatonia is a very serious condition, and can be life threatening in some. So it’s important to know the warning signs and contact a professional. Do NOT wait and contact someone as soon as possible.

Regression is hard, but regression doesn’t mean catatonia. So if you think you’re experiencing regression then that doesn’t automatically mean you have catatonia, if that makes sense. Catatonia for me is episodes of complete freezing, and episodes of slowness. Even outside of tasks I have catatonia. Although tasks are a huge trigger for my catatonia.

Please don’t try and self diagnose it and seek out medical help. I hope you have a lovely day and get the help you need. ❤️

[sciderman]

do you ever think that maybe a lot older comics with nerdy main characters are just... The MCs just have high functioning autism but at that point in time autism was just viewed as kids acting out and being aggressive because of stigma so the writers wouldn't have written that they have autism because of how negatively it was viewed. Because looking back today I feel like especially in older comics from like the 80s, there's a lot of main characters who display signs of autism but they wouldn't have been considered as autistic behaviour because again of the stigma surrounding it at the time. Just a thought id like to share.

i think there's something there, for sure! i can't speak to every older comic about nerdy main characters - the only one i've read is spider-man and i don't think there's any doubt at all that he's a neurodivergent king. always has been. always will be.

peter's kind of always been victim to misinterpretation by people around him - kind of always having the desire to escape social situations - kind of just - yeah. i've always read him as autistic. and yeah, it might be the stigma, but i also think it's just - a lot of people go undiagnosed. and, well, you know, it's a spectrum, everyone falls on it, to varying degrees. and not everyone needs or pursues a diagnosis. i've been told i'm probably on the spectrum - even doctors when i was a tiny child observed my behaviours and thought i might be on the spectrum, but i've not had any sort of formal diagnosis and probably never will pursue it because - i guess i Am high-functioning and i feel like a lot of the problems i face are things i can manage.

i think that's the case for a lot of people in the world - not just me. that yeah, you recognise there are shortcomings you have that aren't always in your control, but you do your best to keep your head afloat. i don't think any brain is normal. and i think there's a benefit to having characters like peter parker who face these very familiar neurodivergent troubles but - without any sort of formal diagnosis. like, it makes me feel less alone when i see peter parker struggling in social situations because i see myself. and other people might see themselves. it's like, it's a nice access point.

i don't know what sort of impact it would make to talk about this sort of thing canonically - i do like characters that you can project onto. that you can interpret in different ways. i don't know what the world would be like if marvel decreed peter parker was canonically autistic. but i think most people do kind of think he is. and i think a lot of his fanbase love him for those traits because they see themselves in him. i don't know if making him canonically autistic and giving him a diagnosis in canon would help or hurt that - i think there probably still is a stigma, and i think marvel would be too cowardly to do it because - because once you put the label on it, you have to tread more carefully and do more research. if you keep it vague, you can't offend anyone. i know that maybe, if peter had an official autistic diagnosis there might be cries of oh! he's a bad example! he's too stereotypical, or he's too violent, or he's wah wah wah. maybe it's better to keep it vague. so everyone can see themselves in him, even if they're not ready to admit that their brain might be freakier than they think.

i think i love peter parker for being a character who definitely has a weird brain that trips him up constantly and still keeps fighting for his life, day to day. me too, buddy.

[blubushie]

ABOUT ME

READ THIS BEFORE YOU SEND ASKS/INTERACT. ASK BLU ANYTHING DAY (ABAD) is on the first full weekend of every month!

MINORS: Block the "#blu lewd" tag OR I WILL BLOCK YOU and do not DM me unless it's to ask to join Blucord. This goes ESPECIALLY if you're 16 or under. Adults on the internet are not your friends, and I am not comfortable speaking with you privately without a third party present.

G'day fellas! You can call me Blu, and I can be invoked like some Lovecraftian horror by mentioning Sniper in the TF2 tags. King of Sniper Lore (and Australia), Messiah of Bludaism, also known as the "Sheepshagging Roorooting Horsehumping Mountainfucking Melonpiping 13x-Divorced Breastmaster Hitman Inenrt Dingoboy Piss Cheese Jorts Bludysseus Blu'nt Bushgod Sniper Blog" despite not being a Sniper blog (and not actually shagging a sheep or rooting a roo or being married to start with or caring all that much for cannabis, I'm a psychedelics bloke). I'm just Like This.

Been told I'm the "Sniper kin of all Sniper kins." Not sure what a kin is these days but from what I've heard I'm content with not knowing.

This is my only blog. I have three sideblogs. One is @blu-doods, where I post my shitty stick figure art for laughs, and the other two are @art-reblugs, where I reblog art on (I reblog art here too, but the pickings are far more slim) and @post-reblugs (same as art but for text posts).

Again, not a Sniper roleplay blog. That said feel free to call me Sniper as a joke because I do very much enjoy it. Just keep in mind that I am my own person and not a fictional character. There's a real person behind the screen.

Sometimes I go on tangents and start infodumping. You can find the masterlist here. Also please read my DNI list and check out my pronouns page (I spent so much time on it).

My ask box is always open to whatever you want to say. Questions, comments, infodumping, or whatever else comes to mind. I particularly enjoy things relating to TF2, astronomy, nature, classic cars, and weapons. :]

If you find a weird animal or plant and want to know what it is, send me a picture with the location and there's a fair chance I can ID it! ("Location" doesn't need to be city, just state or general region!)

If you're looking to do art or something of me, please see this post for a guide to what I look like and this post for my rules on what is and isn't acceptable!

We now have a Discord server! If you want to join just DM me, but please ask only you and I are mutuals or we interact often :]

My avatar was done by the incredibly talented @grumpygrumblet!

SOME INFO ABOUT ME

I have autism, selective mutism, and some other issues that aren't really important. Point is that sometimes it can be hard for me to talk or properly put my thoughts into words. This makes me come across as cold sometimes. I'm not good at communicating with words and I'm better at expressing it in person where I can rely more on touch. I apologise if I seem rude because I'm not trying to be. Let me know and I'll try to articulate what I mean to say in a gentler way.

I'm 23.

Bushstraight. AMAB transmasc. Weird bloke.

I grew up in Alice Springs and spend most of my time in the NT. On the first Friday of the month there's a good chance you can find me at the Daly Waters Pub. CU in the NT! (Not now though because I'm stuck in America for the foreseeable future. Oops. Try me again in 2025!)

I hunt professionally for pest control. Usually it's invasive animals like pigs, cats, or feral dogs. I'm also licenced to occasionally deal with nuisance native wildlife like crocodiles, but aside from assisting in relocation efforts I've yet to be called out for a crocodile. I'm alright with this—I really don't want to shoot a crocodile.

I also hunt to feed myself and my dog. Her name is Misty and she's an Australian Shepherd/Golden Retriever mix. You can see her here or by checking out my "mistyposting" tag.

I used to participate in kangaroo culls and by law I have to shoot them in the head so if you ever want to know what it's like to pop skulls, reckon you can ask me. Also on the kangaroo thing: if you're Australian and from 2020-2021 ate kangaroo or bought kangaroo dog food or leather, there's a chance I'm the one what got it to you.

I'm a bushie. This means I'm a survivalist who lives out in the bush. I technically live in a van (ute + camper in the tray) but if there's good weather I'm usually sleeping outside unless it's an area with a lot of dingos (they don't usually bother people but I'm not going to take risks with my dog). I have no permanent residence and I move from place to place for work. Occasionally I have to go into cities for work (I'm looking at you, M*lbourne) but these are thankfully rare occasions and only when I'm strapped for cash.

Sometimes while clearing a squatter's land I'll find Psilocybe mushrooms and take them back home and get high when I'm done working. It makes for an interesting experience and my favourite thing to do is lay on the top of my van and watch the stars for a while.

I have a mullet and I am awful proud of it. It's easy upkeep since I can cut it using the mirror of my van.

I've drank my own piss on more than one occasion. The first time was because I was dying of dehydration out in the bush and it kept me alive for 2 days until I found water. The second time was for science. Certified Piss Kink Guy. (Editor's note: I do not in fact have a piss kink.)

I have infinitely large balls.

I am a bogan. I am proud of that too. Viva la boganism.

I am Ameristralian. I was born in the US and came to Australia when I was 2 years old—both of my parents are American but my parents lived in Australia for work. I grew up in Australia but when my parents split Dad went back home to California to buy back my grandfather's station and I spent most of my high school years in California (years 10-12) and lost my accent. I now live in Australia with a very thick American accent so I get the "lost tourist" spiel a lot and I reckon I'm never going to stop having to prove I'm Australian. It's gotten me into pub fights before and will continue to do so. I had a stroke in 2023 and now have my Aussie accent back LMAO

I've been told I'm "Sniper IRL." (Cheers, bloke I met in a Sydney pub, for getting me into TF2 by telling me this.)

I fucking love crocodiles to a possibly dangerous degree. Technically I love everything nature and especially animals, but crocodiles are just something special to me. I blame Steve Irwin and the fact my favourite thing to do as a nipper was go up to Darwin with Mum during the dry season and go croc spotting.

I like TF2, nature (particularly plants and animals), astronomy, and history. My special interest is sniping. I also love science and medicine. PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT THESE THINGS BECAUSE I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM.

I swear a lot. I will not apologise for it. Fight me, cunt.

Please ask me about the shit I've seen out in the bush. I have so many stories. Actually, just ask me anything. Just talk to me in general, please. I need it.

I like knives (penchant for Bowie knives and machetes), firearms (penchant for antique bolt-actions), and old cars. I think pre-1970 Land Rovers are pretty spiffy. I can alternatively be invoked by incorrectly stating what model of Land Rover Sniper drives. It's a bloody 1965 Series IIA!

DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY OF THE SHIT YOU SEE ME DO ON THIS BLOG. I AM A PROFESSIONAL AT WHAT I DO—ATTEMPTING TO REPLICATE IT IS LIKELY TO RESULT IN SERIOUS HARM AND/OR DEATH. DO NOT GO INTO THE OUTBACK UNLESS YOU ARE WITH A GROUP AND HAVE AN EXPERIENCED GUIDE WITH YOU.

If you wanna learn the rest of the lore, you'd best delve the blog. ;]

I can also be found on AO3 also under Blubushie.

A GUIDE TO MY TAGS

IMPORTANT BLOCK TAGS

blu lewd: Horny asks and reblogs of suggestive art. I'm making a tag for this since I've been getting so many asks from thirsty anons (I love you, thirsty anons). MINORS: BLOCK THIS TAG OR I WILL BLOCK YOU.

haemocyanin: Usually reblogged gore art (blood is not included in gore, I'm talking viscera). Also includes discussion of gory topics. THIS TAG IS STRICTLY GORE. Please block this tag if that makes you uncomfortable.

blu slew: Discussion of hunting. May contains photos from hunting. This includes animal death/animal gore, so anyone who is uncomfortable with seeing this PLEASE BLOCK THIS TAG.

blu a fuse: Angryposting. Will include venting—if that bothers you, block this tag.

blus blues: Venting/sad hours/personal, generally depressive, journals. Basically me screaming into the void about how shit sandwich my life is. May include discussions of trauma so if that bothers you, block this tag.

blu jarate: Anything that mentions piss in referral to urine because it's brought up a lot on this blog (not in a kink way, just in general). Block this tag if piss makes you uncomfortable.

blu boos: A personal medical journal of sorts. Block this tag if talk of injuries disturbs you.

Postbin: Hate asks. Will probably include transphobia or homophobia or intersexism because people pick on the easiest things ay? Block if you don't want to see people clowning on me.

GENERAL TAGS

💙: Random thoughts or stuff from me. No worries, I don't ramble often. Also contains reblogs of things I just Vibe With that don't fit any of my other tags. Formerly #bluposting

💬: IRL quotes. Usually things between me and my father, but sometimes includes other people.

blu news: Updates on my life. This may include failsafes.

blu whos: Answered asks. Please send me asks or talk to me in literally any way as I often spend weeks without even seeing another human out in the bush and let me tell you it is NOT good for one's state of mind. I may not like people but humans are social animals and it's a terrible Catch-22. Ask me about my work or life or my fic or about TF2 lore or Sniper or literally anything please.

abad: Discussions or asks from Ask Blu Anything Day, a monthly... Event? Where some of my ask rules are suspended. ABAD is your licence to go nuts in my ask box, and the rule of ABAD is that I have to answer everything honestly.

mercposting: Catch-all TF2 tag. As I get asks about TF2 often, this is the tag used so I don't clutter the main tag.

blu drew: My sketches. I don't do digital art so all of it is traditional and usually of varying quality. It's typically animals or plants I see out in the bush.

blu bushie: My adventures in the wilderness.

🍄🍄🍄: Contains discussions of drugs.

🍄: Triposting! These are trip reports from the times I get high on various different drugs, but usually mushrooms. Also contains any posts I reblog or make while under the influence of drugs. (Formerly #blu flew)

🍺🍺🍺: Contains discussions of alcohol.

🍺: Drunkposting! Contains any posts I make while under the influence of alcohol.

learnin the blus: Random thoughts/rambles regarding my fic.

blu hoohs: NOT MY ART. Just stuff I've REALLY liked and reblogged. My own art is never tagged with this.

blus clues: Me speculating on headcanons and lore, usually about TF2. I love lore speculation.

sniperposting: Shit specifically about Sniper since I seem to talk about him so much. Also things from my life that Sniper would also probably do.

bushman: Reblogs relating to survivalism, bushcraft, camping shit, and general bushman activities. Also includes reblogs of things related to these.

blu planet: Reblogs relating to nature and the natural world.

blu zoo: Discussions of animals and plants. May contain pictures of things I see on my adventures!

stockman: Discussing my former job as a stockman.

blu pew: Weapons, mostly firearms and knives.

true blu: Things specifically relating to Australia. Usually cultural things.

code blu: Things relating to medicine. This especially applies to bushmedicine.

blursed: Reblogged shit that I think is cursed. Usually text posts, sometimes images.

blusome: Just uplifting things I see and reblog. Everybody needs some added light every now and then.

blu spew: Funny things. Titled for me spewing out my coffee in the morning when I see them.

blu polls: My polls.

blu views: The VERY rare occasions I discuss politics. Most of this is either about firearms or rarely nature conservation.

mistyposting: Posts relating strictly to Misty.

moonyposting: Anything relating to Mundy, my emu. On this blog he's referred to as "Moony" so as not to have him confused with Mundy from my fic (or canon Mundy).

blu tunes: Anything relating to music.

blu chew: Anything relating to food.

ford blu: Anything relating to cars.

blu id: Posts where people ask me to identify animals and plants.

blu marbled jack: Anything relating to Jack. This is because I once saw him eat an entire block of cheese.

ask game: Ask games I find.

answered asks: Answers to things I've asked.

blubook: Posts relating to literature. It's a pun about the Australian boobook, a type of owl. Get it? Because owls are smart? And it's reading? Nevermind.

fanart: Art specifically of me because I get a lot of it (and adore it when I do)!

blucord: Discussing things that go down in the Discord server.

blu muse: Poetry I write (because apparently I'm doing that again).

blu misc: Anything that doesn't fit into the rest of these tags.

blu queue: Queued posts.

blu reviews: Submitted posts.

bluroarer: Things I'm tagged in.

smoke signals: Back-and-forth discussions in reblogs.

dozposting: Posts about my lovely lady, @eyes-like-iron-fangs-of-rust

horseposting: Me talking about horses. I fucking love horses.

dream journal: Where I log my dreams.

eminence: Me infodumping about DND/my DND character Redd (cuz Redd + Blu = eminence purple).

PMP: Info relating to my job as a pest management professional.

matildaposting: Me discussing my late 70s Dreamer camper or other campers.

🌌: Wereshitposting—late-night blogging I get up to when the world is quiet and I can't sleep.

Also I'm writing a Speedingbullet fic on AO3 because it's boring out here and I have brainrot so go read that I guess, cheers. Chapter 10 is my magnum opus.

Here's the link to the original F/M version of the fic, and here's the link to the M/M edited version of the fic. The M/M version isn't as good and there may be pronoun errors here and there because the F/M is my primary focus and how the fic is originally written. The M/M version is also discontinued at Chapter 7 as I couldn't work Jesse's backstory properly into Jake. Sorry, folks.

If you're looking to do fanart or something I have a reference for Jesse and Suki. I also have an appearance detail for the rest of BLU team. (If you do fanart of Jesse and Mundy together I will love you forever and ever.)

[birdofmay]

Because there's some discourse that only goes on because *some* people don't want to understand this here:

I just wanted to link it again.

Severe autism means that the world doesn't make sense to you and everything is confusing.

Severe or even profound ID means that many things don't make sense to you and everything is confusing.

Now, imagine what happens if you combine these two things.

Yeah.

It's like you argue with a toddler (doesn't mean that they're mentally a toddler, I just needed a comparison) about adult things, and the toddler thinks they're right because they don't know as much as an adult, but you expect them to know as much as you.

And then you're mad that a toddler reacts the way toddlers react. Even though you should know that toddlers don't know as much as adults and that toddlers don't react like adults because they can't control that..... because they're toddlers.

You can't expect someone who is constantly confused about the world and about themself to react in a calm and neutral way. It's not possible. And if you still expect them to do that, you're engaging in abusive patterns.

Just step back. Don't become an abuser. You don't have to agree with them, just don't react.

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

this just in: Irish loser is Sad™ because all my friends can go and do shit but not me apparently

Vent under the cut, I'm really sorry about this but I have to get it off my chest (it's nothing too serious but it is kinda long)

I'm eighteen. I've voted twice. I've finished secondary school. People my age are planning holidays and going to college and moving out and actually living life, and I feel like I'm falling behind so so much.

I don't have a bank account. I don't have a passport or any form of photo ID with a date of birth. I don't even have (or want!) a driver's licence, I will circle back to that later though.

My parents (particularly my mom) keep saying they'll help me get set up with all the above but because Mom's busy with work and Dad's really forgetful, it never gets done.

It's gotten to a point where I don't actually see a point in getting these things set up, for the following reasons:

I haven't had my name legally changed yet so everything would be set up under my deadname. Which. Fuck that.

For a bank account to make sense I would need money and I live in literally the textbook definition of "rural ass farming town" so the only jobs around that don't need experience are working in the supermarket or food service. I would, and I'm not exaggerating here, rather launch myself into a black hole than do those jobs because I've heard from my neurotypical peers how hard they are so I can only imagine how awful it would be for someone with autism like myself. My only other option is to try and get unemployment benefits but like. What would I even be spending the money on? Certainly not a house (the housing market in Ireland is literally impossible) and not a holiday either.

For a passport to make sense I would need to be able to travel, and quite aside from the No Money thing (see above) I've been fucked over by fate yet again because Mom doesn't trust me to go places on my own. She's only quite recently started letting me take the bus to a town half an hour away with friends. I don't even see the use in asking her to go on a train/plane/ferry unaccompanied because I know for a fact she'd say no. She'd say something along the lines of "we should do this together a few times first" which, understandable, but then she's so tired from work and busy with housework on the weekends that that never ends up coming to fruition. Add to that my crippling anxiety, catastrophic thinking and fear of the unknown, and I have basically conditioned myself into thinking I can never go anywhere more than a half hour's drive away without a parent.

I do not want to learn to drive. My dad keeps telling me I should because it would give me freedom, except no it wouldn't. It's not like I could use his car because he needs to go places too, and I could probably never afford my own car cause that shit is expensive as hell to run and maintain, so I really see no sense in learning. Also, I have the navigational skills of a teaspoon, so I would be basically guaranteed to get lost.

All of this has come to a point where I'm super hesitant to ask for anything because I know that either my parents will outright say no, or I'll end up chickening out because they'll remind me there's probably something I haven't thought of. (Mind, they don't often fully explain what)

And this was fine a few years ago when I had no friends and couldn't see how people actually lived their lives, but as my friends are all telling me about things they plan to do, I guess I'm having a lot of realisations.

The first time a classmate of mine said she was going on a holiday independently with some friends of hers, my first immediate thought was, "Do her parents just not care?" This would've been a little over two years ago, when I and all my class were around 16.

Now, though, I'm realising that teens going places on their own is actually NORMAL and that, big surprise, I'm once again the weird one. I told Mom about this and her response was "there's no right speed to do life at" which is right, you shouldn't do things if you don't feel ready to do them, but I don't know, something about this whole situation feels kinda wrong to me.

Here's the thing that's made me emotional today though.

The big Pride festival in Ireland is on June 29th. I wanted to go last year with my friends but Mom said no because it would be "too crowded" and "what if something goes wrong and I can't be there for you" and all that. And the worst part? She's right. It would have been very overwhelming.

Anyway this year, my friends aren't going, so even if by some miracle Mom's answer was going to change, I would feel awkward not being able to go with anyone I knew. So I'm not even gonna ask.

The way I see it, I can't move on with my life in any way as it stands. I can't release music, or publish books, or sign up to act in anything, until I get my name changed, because I do not want to be renowned under my deadname.

But I also feel like I can't change my name until I move out. My parents say they need to know where I am all the time, to the point where I once had an outing with a group of friends interrupted by a call from my father because I had left with the group from the coffee shop he'd dropped me off at, to a different shop somewhere else, two minutes' walk away.

I don't know. I feel like I have no freedom or independence and I'm genuinely unsure whether this is normal for people my age, or if it's an autism thing, or if my parents (again, particularly my mother) are being weird.

Basically what I'm wondering is

Is it healthy to be in this situation? And if not, how can I get out of it?

Again, I'm really really sorry about this, I know I don't usually get all personal on here but just. I feel weird about this and need some advice or at the very least a virtual shoulder to cry on

[polyhexian]

Darius frantically googling childcare tips in the runaway au, hoping to god that the Emperor's Coven isn't monitoring his scroll. how do you take care of a child? how do you reassure a child? how do you feed a - okay actually that one's easy, Hunter has his father's painfully simple taste in food, if his looks didn't make it obvious that he's Jasper's son the fact that he considers salt a spice would be proof enough.

Eberwolf is like, I can give you some tips but they're all gonna be based on raising ratworm litters and Darius is like STOP.

Hunter is probably kind of an easy kid to take care of in most respects, tho. like you said, he's had to become independent. self-sufficient. I feel like a lot of his childhood he was kinda like a fawn - like, a mother deer will leave her baby in a place she deems safe and hidden, and the fawn will lay there completely still for HOURS until mom gets back. Jasper's definitely had to do that with Hunter, except as Hunter has grown older Jasper has likely left him alone for longer periods of time, so Hunter gets to wander around a bit while waiting for his dad to get back. Swipe some food, maybe work some odd jobs for some snails, visit the library and see if he can finish a book before they have to move on again.

so he doesn't complain easily, and he doesn't really get bored the way a regular kid might, he's used to either sitting perfectly still or going off to find something to take up his time. he probably also gets more mileage out of entertainment items Darius gets for him. Darius is like "uhhhh I found some crappy crayons and some paper, sorry, best I can do on short notice" and Hunter is just like, oh, cool! cuz he's rarely had time/space/resources to sit down and color on paper.

Darius is still fumbling his way through this tho. one night he wakes up to find a sniffling Hunter climbing into bed with him and he starts to panic like OH GOD IS HE SICK I DON'T WANNA DO GERMS BUT I WILL IF I HAVE TO except no, the kid just misses his dad. Darius surreptitiously grabs his phone to type in "what to do when a kid crawls into bed with you crying" except to his everlasting horror he did NOT type that into Ghoul-gle, he typed it into a text message and now Eberwolf is responding like DARIUS ARE YOU SERIOUS and Darius is like I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO and Eber is like JUST HUG HIM THE WAY YOU'D NEVER HUG A BABY RATWORM.

Rjjsjsjd Darius trying to figure out how to care for this kid via eberwolf describing how to care for various baby animals

Yeah yeah yeah. Hunter is a baby faun. He's very good at hiding and he's very good at following instructions. Jasper has to weigh a lot of risks. Is it riskier to steal what he needs, or is it riskier to earn it by bounty hunting or selling something or what have you? And things just get riskier as Hunter gets older. Another timeline where jasper can't give hunter the childhood he wants him to have, but he's going to make sure he has one that he makes it out of, at least. He would rather have an unhappy adult than a dead child.

Hunter is a little fuckin monkey. He's always stealing shit. Just to prove he can. I love this little goblin version of hunter, a highly skilled little artful dodger.

When I was a teenager and my dad left it was pretty hard on my family. My brother has down's syndrome and autism; he's nonverbal, low-functioning, legally dead/blind. So he has a lot of trouble communicating effectively. He was like nine around this time and yeah, normal stuff was no problem. He knew how to let me know he was hungry or he needed me to come hit play on his DVD or something- assistive communication devices were and I think still are thousands of dollars lol and my folks and I were eating out of the food bank so. Yeah. Not happening.

In any case, the point is that one night my brother started crying. Like. Really crying. Crying in a way id never heard before. And obviously my mom came but I drove him to the hospital and we spent all night in the ER while he screamed and sobbed and they did test after test after test trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong.

Nothing was wrong. He was completely fine, physically. The end "diagnosis" was... Our dad had been gone three months and it was finally hitting him that he might not be coming back.

Just thinking about poor little hunter trying to cope with the idea his dad might not be coming back because he doesn't know where he is or what happened to him; he's just gone and it hurts! Reminded me of that night (can you believe I had to go to school the next day lol)

All Darius can do is hold this sobbing little guy and tell him that at least HE isn't going anywhere because... What else can he say? It's going to be okay? Jasper is going to be okay? Jasper will come back? He doesn't know that. He doesn't know any of that. All he can do is his own best. And hunter just :(

[ceilingfan5]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @holdmecloser-gandydancer

tagging you, the person reading this and wishing someone tagged you, yes you, i mean it

1. How many works do you have on A03?

total? 73. TAZ? 37. oh man. palindrome

2. What's your total A03 word count? 703,033 baby ive been here for Ten Years

3. What fandoms do you write for?

recently taz. before that, aftg, haikyuu!! etc. but man it has been taz for a While

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

OF TAZ WORKS (all my top 5 are old old) 1. Sticker Stars (of course) 2. Run Away With Me 3. Rub This On Your Body 4.Little Shop of Horny and 5. Apply Directly to the Forehead (one of my first taz fics!!) all of those make sense as contenders but i am surprised revenge plus one is #8

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i................have to be honest..........................................i'm so...sorry............

[id: a screenshot of "Inbox (3402)" indicating no, no I do not]

(please understand this is from years and years and years and years)

i pretty much only reply if i am directly asked a question i have an answer to or it makes me cry in a good way....not because i'm an asshole or because i don't appreciate them!!!! comments mean truly so much to me!! i just don't know what to say besides thank you, so i usually write an emphatic thank you on each chapter and hope people know i mean it.... please don't think i don't care...please............. i care so much

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

we don't do that here

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

“But like,” words fall out of Taako’s mouth before he can stop them. “Live your life, dude, go a little nuts, feel like a whole person, give me $200, participate in the universe, get your back blown out on demand, fucking-” he laughs. “Have a collection, experience joy, buy a cat, get diagnosed with autism, fall in love-”

“What was that last part??” 

if that (from revenge plus one) isn't a happy ending what is (i'm hoping the people who care enough to read a post like this have either read it already or are going to go. oh my god i have to read revenge plus one tonight)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no and if i did i would block and delete em, there's no time for that. fuck em. this is a joy pursuit (i would cry though. don't. what the hell. just close the tab like a normal person. someone MADE THAT.)

9. Do you write smut?

oh baby DO I

i do intend to write some more publishable stuff soon. most of my personal stuff has gotten Way Too Weird. but look out for some horny supervillain taakitz soon if thats your cup of hot chocolate with too many marshmallows in it 👀👀👀👀

10. Do you write crossovers?

sorry i am obsessed with one thing at a time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

hope not! if so i cast a billion death spiders on them. smooch. partake in the joyous act of baring your soul via dumbfucks yourself, coward

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

once, i think? im not sure they finished

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

absolutely, some of my best stuff was originally rp!!! i am so sorry @holdmecloser-gandydancer @noodyl-blasstal for not continuing some super exciting projects, my brain is electric soup and my life is a circus. someday. someday we will play again. i must believe

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

if you did not expect taakitz i have 29+ fics you should read

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

everything is possible until you give up. so who knows!!!!!!!!!!! it sure does help to know there are people that will still read things if and when they are ever finished though

16. What are your writing strengths?

VOICE! dialogue. fun

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

planning fucking ahead

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

caution necessary but i mean live your life, just be aware of the err of google translate

19. First fandom you wrote for?

on ao3? wtnv

before that? squints. maybe homestuck or............no it was shakespeare

man. fuck

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

revenge plus one, probably, i miss living in it

nothing says passion like 90k and baby's first adhd medication!!!!!!!!!

really though please go read it. if you have 90k worth of attention and time and interest

also hey? in general? if you read this far? keep writing. and enjoy it. self indulgence isn't just nice, it's what makes life worth living. make for you, and then the comments and appreciation are bonus. snare a few friends in your web and you're living, baby

keep reaching for the stars

[genderisareligion]

Sorry for all the personal posts lately but I'm legitimately scared for my life and can't leave the state I'm in right now. I have no idea what to do, pretty much no one I've ever known is helping me because I'm under a conservatorship I don't even remember agreeing to and can't possibly afford the lawyer to get me out of this. Not trying to be dramatic at all, I want to live, I don't feel suicidal, but I'm literally out of options, can't afford to feed myself the way I need to with this horrible eating disorder from Autism and childhood neglect, and feel death is imminent unless I agree to go back to these strange psych wards she can send me to where they can break the law freely like she can for some reason.

My mother is content to have me drive around in a giant van full of my things and my 5 year old cat, days after just being thrown into solitary confinement for no reason I was aware of (see pinned post), days after being denied not one but two public defenders that I am legally owed, because she's too immature to open the garage with MY LOCK AND KEY ON IT to just let me either put the rest of my things in there out of her sight or take everything and take it somewhere else. Where though??? She's spoken to almost everyone I know somehow, family friends anyone and told them whatever the fuck she wants about me, I guess, I don't get to speak for myself or correct it, even my "best friend" last year has completely blocked me. For some reason they believe her despite her ugly ass "son" (excuse for a living being) being a fucking rapist who she will protect to the death. HUH? Were you all faking the feminism allyship that entire time, like the 9-10 years you knew me, some of you? I'm about to start posting names because that's fucking insane.

I have the video and will post it, she called the police last night because I was parked behind her house out of necessity. Fresh out of the illegal solitary, spent like 8 hours getting "home," only for my landlord via the snake filled women's center (long story) to try and kick me out immediately and attempt to call the cops again if I'm not fast enough. What happens when I get to my mother's? Same shit, she's talking to me like I'm the r-slur they still say willy willy so I put my headphones in. That's illegal too, now I can't be anywhere near her house or she will have me arrested. Last night, and just about an hour ago (what my video is from).

THIS MORNING I CALLED THE POLICE ON HER because I wanted to know how the fuck she can do this and keep me away from the rest of my shit and my shit in her garage and refuse to give my cat a home even though she adopted him, when she is obviously my conservator and my disability checks have to go there and she has unnecessary financial and social control of everything right now. The only reason my address isn't where I've actually lived on the ID is because some other woman my mother spoke to got me drunk and stole my ID so that I had to put my ex's address on it. Collectively trying to isolate me out there to... what? FOR WHAT? Be trapped with the "woman" who's planning on beating me and choking me?

If you have it in you please boost this to let people know what's going on with me and why I'm not posting the same at all. Does anyone have any idea what the fuck I do??? Cannot afford a lawyer whatsoever would have to be entirely pro bono, so I'm screwed.

I don't want to die. My own mother wants me to. Unsure what to do

[chaisshitposts]

🦁🐻🦒 anon here again

Firstly, what happened to you for 2 days? What crazy hiatus was that? I'm sure not only me but others were worried too! Could you explain what happened, if it's not too much trouble?

Second, to answer the question: yes, I am neurodivergent. I don't talk about this so much with anyone because: you know this has become something commonplace in today's world (everything is autism, everything is ADHD, sometimes there isn't even a diagnosis, and often the individual uses the clinical case to justify his own failure and defects) and also by my family who, well, I'll summarize: they are all very alienated in everything (spirituality, behavior in general, how things work, etc.) and I was always different from the others (a "boy" who doesn't like cars, football, or being shirtless) (and making it clear that the quotation marks are because they didn't consider me normal, not because I'm not a boy or anything like that) (and I think I'm writing too many parentheses and this is getting ambiguous) (and oh my God, I looked very cult and edgy saying "I'm different from the other kids"😭😭), so, in this case, my family, kind of not accepting the uncomfortable truth that I was normal, but different, they created this generalized idea that I was abnormal and were incessantly looking for something that would validate this, which is why I had many exams throughout my life (a good part of the physical body, brain, ears, nerves) and nothing ever resulted, much less the psychologist's report, which not only revealed that I was normal but that I was even MORE than normal. In this case, I have AH/SD, which in my language is "Altas Habilidades/Superdotação", in English, well, I'm basically gifted, which explains my behavior (precocity, taste and high level of reading and interpretation; varied interests and differentiated; tendency to associate with older people; asynchronism; preference for doing certain things alone; independence; autonomy; acute and refined sense of humor, filled with irony, sarcasm, mockery and abuse of dark, morbid jokes and acidic comments, extending even into other spheres of coexistence other than humor; highly developed aesthetic sensitivity; high observation capacity; leadership; atypical tastes and preferences, wide vocabulary and use of it; ability for: complex, symbolic thinking and reasoning, abstract concepts, relationships between different things, situations or facts; early physical and social development; great sensitivity; high creativity; spontaneity; tenacity; difficulty in relating outside the comfort zone (new environment, new people, tastes different from yours that he doesn't understand, etc.), quick ability to adapt and create intimacy, competitiveness) and because I don't fit into other cases, such as ASD, ADHD, ODD and the like. In this case, I don't comment much because I'm afraid of giving the wrong impression, of people thinking I'm a victimist or an exhibitionist or something like that, and also because of my family dramas too, and because that's who I am, right? 🤨 Isn't it ridiculous to see these people on the internet (and sometimes in real life) basing their entire personality on their gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, ideology, social class, damn, I'm much more than neurodivergent, I don't need to keep talking so much about this, there are so many more interesting things to talk about me…

And about the failure in communication, I think it's because of the geographic barrier: look, I assume that you are anglophone, and therefore, from a low-context culture, since most countries that share Anglophony were British colonies, then share this characteristic. But I am lusophone, but, unlike another country that shares Lusophony, my culture is high-context. This means that we don't just analyze the type, but how it is said, the moment, the manner, the intonation, we capture the emotion in speech and writing, while low-context countries are more literal, they don't have as many idiomatic expressions, figures of speech, so they end up causing some confusion sometimes (that's why people in my country are known for not saying "no"). For example, when you said "You're treating my ask box like it's an entire Tumblr - and also, it's not questions" Idk what you really mean by that, really, but in my head that sounded a bit like "you don't belong here, can't you see you're using my ask box wrong?" I think I understand what is being said when using emojis, camelcase, and slang, because that way I can capture the humor of the writing more easily 🥰🥰

one -> hiya! and oh my god you're the second person to mention that I've been gone for two days... I didn't mean to disappear!!! I was just in... hm— I guess I was dead? 💀 And not like ACTUALLY dead, but more so, dead to the world. On Wednesday something major happened and I was in disbelief for a bit. (My student loans got paid off in full eventhough there was $20k USD in debt, I didn't do anything aside from my usual affirmations) Then the next day another thing happened and I was still in disbelief. (I manifested something overnight involving my job after affirming that I can manifest anything I want overnight) And Friday was my day off of work so I went outside and spent a bunch of money on stuff I wanted. I had no idea I hadn't posted on Tumblr in a couple days, I'll be honest. Time got away from me 😓

two -> ahhHhhHh so my spider senses were right! we're more alike than I thought. and yeaaaaaah, it is pretty weird how much more 'common' autism and adhd seems to be in the eyes of social media. HAHAHAHA no no no, I didn't think that was edgy at all!!! being 'different' is what makes people interesting, after all. and yeah, I can understand where you're coming from when it comes to people using their superpowers/handicaps/gifts as an excuse to do bad things. sometimes I find myself doing that, but only when I'm trying to explain to others why I don't get certain jokes that they say or I have trouble with telling the difference between sarcasm and the truth.

three -> ah yes, the language barrier. I had a sneaking suspicion that may have been an issue as well. WAIT NOOOOOOOOO 😭 I would never say that you do not belong!!!! You will always belong here!!!! I— gods I wish I could explain what I meant in a cohesive way. 😫 I love it when you send me your words in my asks box! Your words of wisdom should be shared by YOU!!! and when you share your words of wisdom to me, and I make posts with them, it feels like I am stealing your words of wisdom!!! I do not want to take credit for your beautiful words! I don't know how else to explain it, I'm so sorry 😭