#agatha christie shitpost

[jordiethepoolfloatie]

Hey, anyone reading Agatha Christie here? Great, there’s quite a few of us. Anyone who has read A Murder Is Announced? Hi, three people in the back. This one is for you.

⚠️ If you haven’t yet read it, spoilers are ahead, proceed at your own risk. ⚠️

You cannot tell me that Ms. Hinchcliffe and Ms. Murgatroyd were not cottagecore lesbians. They literally owned a cottage together. Like??? I want that life. Also they were completely and very much gay coded.

Also I will forever be mad at Agatha for killing Amy. I know it made sense with the plot, but still. Why her??? Kill Colonel Easterbrook instead, he was a pain in the ass anyway.

The book was great as usual, I’m just mad that she hurt my favourite couple

[imetacrab]

At the end of every Hercule Poirot story, he always calls an emergency meeting to find the imposter among us.

[feralshadowdemon]

do you ever want to do a character study but the character you want to study barely even has a character

[seizethedeansofproduction]

you (a fool): Murder on The Orient Express

me (a intellectual): "What's the Loco-Motive?"

[twinkdrama]

[dougielombax]

Murder mystery but the detective can’t be bothered to solve it.

“Yeah idk, I guess it was just fuckin’ whoever or something. Pfffffffffffffffft.”

*at this very moment the murderer is slaughtering another person with a cake stand*

[shanti-ashant-hai]

wanna read textbooks the way 13 year old me read agatha christie

[littlepanda7]

This has to be the best description of Poirot that I've ever found.

[aloeverawrites]

Y’all, it feels like Agatha Christie was subtly roasting Sherlock Holmes in her books and I’m here for it.

“He had always scoffed at the idea of the human bloodhound who assumed wonderful disguises to track criminals, and who paused at every footprint to measure it.” 👀

For real tho I think she was a fan and sometimes the series influenced her own work.  “I was still writing in the Sherlock Holmes tradition, eccentric detective, stooge assistant, with a Lestrade-type Scotland Yard detective, Inspector Japp – and now I added a ‘human foxhound’, Inspector Giraud, of the French police.”

(Which honestly, the series influenced a lot of mystery writers, lol. Me included.)

But yeah, I had just put down a Sherlock Holmes book before picking up this one, titled "The Big Four" and that quote just kind of smacked me in the face.

[supersecretfangirl]

I thought the tumblr crowd would appreciate this line found in classic literature.

[firelordgrantham]

my mom, looking at my dad's plate: wow you ate a lot of cheese, here.

me: well, exactly what we would think, Madame, but zat's not what happened. You see, zere was a second perpetrator. *points at my little brother* he ate just as much cheese, in fact one could say he ate twice as much cheese as our dad, but he planted his cheese crusts in our dad's plate so zat we would think dad was the only one who ate the cheese.

my dad: ...

my mom: ...

my brother: ...

my dad: what's with the fake french accent?

me, snapping back to the insult: I. AM. BELGIAN. MONSIEUR.

[jordiethepoolfloatie]

Enjoy some of my shitty annotations of Agatha Christie’s A Murder Is Announced (and please excuse the messy handwriting, a lot of these were written on the bus/ in the car etc)

[scentedluminarysoul]

"A gay little Town"

"He was always so queer"

"He carassed his flute"

I know, time exists and the 1930's were quite different, but. Agatha Christie, stahp 😭

[medicatedcountertop]

So i was looking up some things about Agatha Christie, because honestly she leads a fucking wild life, but are you telling me she not only had the MI5 investigate her:

Because they were afraid she had a spy within the code breaking centre. And the fact that her friend, Dilly Knox, who is in the codebreaking centre, is the one to reassure MI5 that she did not name her character after the codebreaking center, is not at all suspicious to them??

I'm not saying that Agatha Christie was spying on the British Intellegence, or that Dilly Knox is Agatha Christie's spy within the British intelligence (he was the one to break the Enigma Code) but that is a comedy sketch.

[acerlking]

They call them agathodaimons because what distinguishes a good daimon from an evil demon is having read Agatha Christie

[tubul-taylorsversion]

my forever fixations (changes will be added.)

sitcoms (b99, modern family, bbt, himym, the office, friends)

benedict cucumberpatch and martin freeman (sherlock bbc, lord of the rings, the hobbit etc.)

ghosts&vampires&blood&sadists&gore&darkacademia&haunted places (frankenstein, jekyll and hyde)

english schoolgirls in the not creepy way (wild child, enid blyton boarding school books)

harry potter

neil gaiman (coraline)

true crime

granada holmes

star trek and star wars in no particular order

spock

taylor swift and old washed up rock bands

pheobe effing bridgers

gracie abrams

kill her, freak out - samia

therese dreaming and maya hawke

art

raft of medusa

travelling

nerdinators

nerf guns

spy kids

peppa pig and ben and holly and gaston and nanny plum

emma chamberlain's fashion choices

the grisly origins of fairy tales

101 dalmations' original cruella deville.

horrid henry, captain underpants and phineas and ferb

LEGOOOO

evermore and folklore

lore by aaron manke

neurosurgery

fashun

crime podcasts

the history of mad hatters

interesting things to research about

indian royalty history

transylvania

Elizabeth Báthory (the blood countess)

agatha christie and miss marple

puzzle solving but i'm terrible at it (i’m awesome, i’m trying to be humble)

a deepening disgust at mortal fascination with each other.

aliens

d&d

mathematics

Lockwood and Co.

The sisters grimm

Land of stories

middle grade horror and fantasy books

my instagram threads account

tumblr shitposts

tumblr in general

pjo (ex induced)

scarlet and ivy

THE WELLS AND WONG DETECTIVE SOCIETY (robin stevens ily)

young adult dark fantasy without romance (check point 46)

my goodreads account

ada lovelace

franz kafka, virginia woolf.

my spotify playlists (ethel cain i love u)

joan of arc

rosalind franklin

ted ed videos

witch hunts in scotland and salem.

zoroastrian burials

sherlock and watson

my pinterest

amrita shergill

CRISPR

old disney shows

cricket and india's victory in WC in '83

jhansi ki rani

my childhood tv shows

my yt history

video essays

shane and ryan (watcher or buzzfeed unsolved)

chronically online

jude bellingham

Carlos sainz

a dreaded feeling of separation.

Elsa Schiaparelli

the kelly

monaco

f1

aux en provence

ireland

my artemis fowl phase

harry potter

wales

ryan reynolds and john krasinski

adam sandler movies and similar genres of shitty comedy

cobra kai and the karate kid

superheroes

spiderman variants

bucky and the falcon

charlize theron

vintage watches

conde nast traveller

delhi

benedict cucumberpatch

kristy thompson from the bsc

anne with an e

mr brightside

mitski

podcasts

the sixties, thirties and twentys

maggie smith (downtown abbey and loewe campaigns)

jane birkin

youtube fan edits

stranger things

the irregulars and haunting of hill house

gossip girl (fallacies and legacies)

meryl streep (mammia mia and the devil wears prada)

julie andrews (the sound of music, the princess diaries)

vintage movies

youtube short films and billy joel

the prisoner of azkaban

fred and george weasley and kili and fili

gandalf > dumbledore

margaret - ldr and jack antanoff

alicia and janet (the enid blyton cinematic universe)

sharon tate

my halloween blog 'gore'

arch digest house tours

new york because i'm just a girl

BBC SHERLOCK

Star Trek

the matrix

kill bill, fight club, dr. evil, ocean’s 11

The KJO cinematic universe

Nepo babies

Tim Burton

The Addams Family

Science

Biology

Physics

Chemistry

Mathematics x 2

Nerds

Conspiracy theories

Ethical research

female serial killers

elizabeth bathory

my spotify playlists

billy joel - piano man

youtube edits

saltburn

peppa pig & ben and holly

horrid henry

lost childhood animated tv shows

enid blyton boarding school books

british sitcoms (outnumbered)

house md

characters most like me list on charactour/ openpyschometrics.

the 2 IT zoya akhtar movies

special certain bollywood

teams in red - man united, carlos sainz in Ferrari and RCB.

Formula 1, Tennis, Football & Cricket

Batman&Alfred (Christopher Nolan version duh!)

Dark Knight’s aesthetic

old marvel and DC movies

Superhero Comics

Richard Feynman

Haunted castles

Halloween and Halloween costumes (the only right answer is switching between batman and darth Vader or my Pinterest board)

LEGO (lotr, Harry Potter, marvel and DC lego)

Batman, iron man, and dr strange

ford v ferrari

shang chi

fight club and kill bill

Zack and Cody and phineas and ferb

Karate kid and kung fu panda

karen from outnumbered

philomena cunk

Mercedes, Sebastian Vettel being a nerd and super awesome with pit overtakes, Brocedes + 2019 rookies and Maxiel

2012 grid and 2023 george russel t pose, twitch quartet

Good food and masterchef australia

LUCA