#ah! long post from a real gamer….

[medicalunprofessional]

Hello ! Hope this ask finds you well & I hope you dont mind it as I simply just needed to get some words out , so you know just how much your words are valued&taken to heart.

Most of my pieces are rather 'simplistic'(?) in nature and focus hard on self-expression - I believe it is the best way of making art , especially for someone brainsick like me , whom can't focus much on art otherwise or just likes to express their feelings. Express their Soul , as I like to say it ... And well , I tend to talk about this often , I think , but I really do put parts of my soul into a lot of my art. Especially my 'messier' , more 'abstract' art. Art where I just do fuck all , capiche? And seeing it be so ... appreciated , so much , like that ... Well , I'll just let you know I definitely sobbed a little ! In the best way possible though of course HAHA Tears come to me quite easily so it's normal for me. But really. Thank you so much. There was a reason I tagged that art with just one tag - my own tag. My thoughts went something like this : "Well , it's just some quick messy scribbles ... It's not like much people will see it , or be interested in it , anyway ...". But ... Your tags changed that mindset a bit , I feel. It might be 'just some scribbles' , but it's still got a feel in it , still got a value , doesn't it ... ?

Apolocheese for going full on Rambling-Mode in here ... !!!!! Hope this makes you realize just how much compliments can change someones day , someones mind , someones soul ... & It's fascinating just how much you changed mine. From the bottom of my heart , once again - Thank you for appreciating my art : ) ! People like you keep me going , doing what I do ! ( And also - I encourage you to loosen up on your own art as well , absolutely !!!!! It's so SO freeing once you do. It's totally worth it !!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

RRARFFGHHH!!! YYYESS!!! most inndeedd.. bestie…. art truly… rhe highest form of art to me is the kind that really evokes emotion…… and im glad! so ahppy! unable to word tbe emotions… it reallt is amZinf.. qqqqq….. aaAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! and soul is a good way to put it… that little part of the art that really evokes… you..? the thing thay makes it your art style.. in a way.. YAHHHH…!!!!!! so glad we could share an art moment together…. many more to come…

art isnt a job to me. its fun. art is having fun. i want to make art because its fun. and i like doing it. and i want to express something i felt needed to exist. and i create to spark joy. i hope people will be inspired by the simple tools i use. and i just draw whatever the damn fucked i want.. i dont want money. i want to make people happy and make myself happy…

also random thought but i just realized how opposite our art is in some ways from eachother..?? one simple, the other focused on maintaining weird small details and anatomy and mechanical accuracy (my autistic ass making sure the internals of robots are functional looking and that their casings would allow free movement broke free oops)

jumping with joy.. srry if tjis is incoherent i am bad at talking when it comes 2 text posts… chew (it is still really hot oher here and my brain feels like liquid)

[the-courtsjester]

Greetings Ladys, gentlemen and... things, today I'll be posting my first headcanons but for what you may ask? ...go on ask me... I'll assume you asked

It's for Honkai Star Rail!

Now over time I will indulge in a bit if smut but for more I'll just probably mention characters doing something lewd or shit for one reason or another anyway let's begin!

Honkai Star Rail headcanons 1:

Stelle:

She's a lost puppy god damn, if she gets attached to someone and they wander off from the friend group she will not hesitate to go off with them

Stelle has more then occasionally had to run from law enforcement because she beat someone for bothering her friends too much

She occasionally just doesn't wear a bra and if someone points it out she'd genuinely have to remember what that is

She can and will bring a trashcan into the Astral Exress if no one stops her last time no one stopped her record was twelve in one room

Stelle will spend a good while on figuring out the perfect song to play in the Express for the day... only to just put it back to Take the Journey it's a good song I can't blame her

Stelle has made copys of their wanted posters and put them up in the Express Welt and Dan Heng have learned to not both with them but March can't stop taking the ones of her down only for seven more to appear

Silver Wolf:

As a gamer you'd expect her room to look like a tornado rolled through well you're very wrong! You foolishly foolish fool she's so meticulous in certain games she's had it bleed out into her real life

Wolfie have more then once stolen Blade's crdit card to use on monthly subscriptions ...not like he knows how to use that thing anyway

Sliver Wolf is a brat change my mind doesn't matter the scenario as long as it isn't life threatening if she finds it funny she'll be a brat

While yes she is amazing at multiplayer games she actually prefers single player and party games think, Mario Party, Smash Bros, The Jackbox series stuff like that one time she got Kafka and Blade to join her in Smash Bros and dear lord the look of Confusion on Blade's face

On the daily she will wear something similar to a hazmat suit and take all her limited edition collectibles and clean then meticulously from dusting off boxes to fixing any mistakes it has to make it absolutely perfect

She try's to make a ligament playlist to listen to but it somehow always get infested by video game osts and when asked for good song recommendations she takes a second to not say a video game song unless it's unironically good

Natasha:

Ask her what sleep it she'll take a couple seconds to respond because this woman doesn't sleep yet she tells everyone else to sleep

An entire corner of her room is dedicated to stuffed animals and she'll have a full on ceremony when she plans to gift one of them to one of the kids

She definitely listens to to System Of A Down in the same playlist as Barbie Girl but no one knows ...about Barbie Girl no one except it from her for some reason

Natasha sets up play dates with the kids and herself many times she has played the princess needing rescue and on occasion she'll play the hero or villain if requested to

On accident some of the kids managed to get her grenade launcher and she had a full on panic attack luckily it had no ammo but afterwards she kept it closer by at all times

Natasha in her free time likes to spend it with a cup of coffee and any one of the solitaire versions or any of those old computer games like minesweeper and has become unironically really good at it

Ah well that will do it for now, I'm only doing three for now as they're the three I would say, I know the best but I do feel like Natasha's wasn't as good as it could be I don't know why though, but I may see you all tomorrow with another post

Goodnight my lovely audience!

[fandommemequeen]

I posted 8,534 times in 2022

That's 4,447 more posts than 2021!

452 posts created (5%)

8,082 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@miketon

@tenpixelsusie

@jesterspin

@triangleguy

@weirderscience

I tagged 1,362 of my posts in 2022

#gamer vents - 51 posts

#gamer rambles abt siivagunner - 45 posts

#toh spoilers - 41 posts

#ask game - 40 posts

#puppet history spoilers - 34 posts

#ask - 33 posts

#the owl house spoilers - 31 posts

#reblog game - 30 posts

#kewl gifz!! - 25 posts

#long post - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i know im alwayz like 'waaa our world is doomed therez nothing we can do abt it anyone who sayz otherwise just thinkz life is all sunshine'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im a conspiracy theorist not in the "misinformation spreader that believez everything they see on facebook" way, but in the "curious to see whatz out there, believez ghostz and alienz to be real, listenz to touch tone telephone by lemon demon" way

22 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#4

cant tell if i want cryptid energy or cryptid hunter energy

23 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#3

kandi snatcher worm on a string

thatz it thatz the post

26 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#2

me after watching the first ep of s5: yeah that def isnt the professor, the glitching and stuff make me think this is like a robot or a hologram or smthn and the box is powering him,, hey whered this red rubber ball come from

27 notes - Posted December 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

AH YES YFM IS MY FAVE ANIME

43 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vermillioncrown]

after that acnh salt post i wanna imagine reunited ot3 wangxian in the reverse transmigration au just reacting to zyx's death threats at a video game while cuddling on the couch

ot3 is stuck in modern day for a while and og!zyx is putting up w them - gives them free reign in the apartment while she's at work as long as they don't set the place on fire

lwj pulls a super-tense zyx down onto the ugly couch, "nothing we can do but wait. it is out of our control."

"just relax, yeah?" wwx is curled up on the armchair. "hey, lin-lin, show us around? what do you do for fun?"

=

"it has been quite some time - it... i might not ... hm..."

=

"FUCK OFF I'M NOT GOING THERE"

"... you just did?"

"fuck - because that's the way forward"

lwj's first reflex is a death grip onto zyx's leg (they're full man-spreading, leaning in, mashing the controller, glaring at the tv screen)

wwx has not stopped staring, mouth open, at gamer-rage zyx

"maybe you can show us something more relaxing?"

"I'm so. Relaxed," they gritted out. "that motherfucker will die, i'll steal his shit and wear him like a pelt, and we'll move on"

a twitch and drop from a ledge later

"FUCKING - DIU KAA MAA"

=

*something relaxing*

"yes, YES, DIE"

an explosion goes off

"didn't you explain earlier that the new consequences of death and decay is what caused the apocalypse in the first place? and that you're trying to avoid it?"

"but they're stealing my packages. no one touches my packages without permission - FUCK OFF, YOU COCKSUCKER"

another explosion

=

*something more relaxing*

"so, the point of this game is to just build up your island, design it how you want - bitch, outta my way, move yo ass - and you live with these cute little animals - BUNNY BITCH GAVE ME A FAKE PAINTING" and zyx's little character proceeds to start whacking said villager w a net

zyx doesn't catch lwj's look of affront until the loading screen blacks out and they see his accusing reflection on the tv

"this - i'm not a monster!"

lwj: (ㆆ_ㆆ)

zyx: look - this one promises that wangji's rabbits are not being mistreated...

lwj: (ㆆ_ㆆ)

zyx:

lwj: (ㆆ_ㆆ)

zyx: you know whAT, THIS IS MY ISLAND, I RULE IT, THESE ANIMALS ARE MY PEONS, I DEMAND RESPECT -

wwx: ... maybe a different game?

=

"look how cute it is!"

zyx showing off their favorite pokemon

"but you... hate all bugs. that's a huge bug."

"but it's not real, so it's cute"

"it latches on to its prey with the claws on its neck before slamming them into the ground and jabbing them with its claw's toxic spikes. that sounds horrific."

=

"HAHA, BABY STILL GOT THAT NO SCOPE, SUCK MY DICK BITCH"

wwx quickly to pick up on the what's happening on screen "ah, there's an enemy behind you!"

"nah, my boyfriend has it" the enemy's head explodes in a single shot

"boy - boyfriend?" lwj interjects tersely

"lover"

"is it that one?" wwx points at a large man in black and white armor

"no." a towering figure walks out with battle-scarred blue armor, revealing his face to be an inhuman, scaly, toothy yaoguai. "my love, garrus"

[morimallow]

Kenma with a gamer s/o that’s actually more of a introvert than him - like they’ll be eating ramen 24/7 snacks, chips, BIG eye bags, slightly messy room, game collection that date back too 2005/2012, will literally stay up for 3 day to play a game, raging etc.

Gender neutral pls :)

A/N: I am genuinely sorry for not writing this earlier because I surprisingly had fun writing this even if I don't play games and stuff. I hope you like this! ^o^

As usual, I posted this the second I was done writing it so this wasn't proof read and if you ever notice that I shifted from second person POV to third, I apologize. I've been using third person in the multi-chap I've been working on. (╥_╥)

Kenma Kozume's Gamer S/O

How you met Kenma was both cliche and at the same time, unusual because what are the chances that you'd meet your Player 2 for who knows how long at a local game store to buy the newly released video game you were both supposed to play that night? 

You both thought that the person you met inside the store was a whole different human being.

It's not an angsty love story because when you realized your stories match up, you immediately started getting closer and closer until you found yourself in front of Kenma's large TV, sitting in your own gaming chair beside his black one, playing an old game released way back in 2005 and trying to complete all of the quests before 3AM. 

Although it was hard to convince you to play at his house because surprise! You were even more introverted than him. You work from home, you do go out for groceries (sometimes but you usually order them online) and for games, of course, but in hoodies and a face mask so people won't talk to you.

So, Kenma had to make a move. 

When he found out you both live in the same neighborhood, he played it simple first. He would place a bag of your favorite junk foods and the sweet drink you rarely drink and sometimes it's the energy drink you've always preferred with a little note asking if you'd let him borrow that limited edition video game from your vast collection of games from 2005 to 2012. 

That was a good move, you'd have to admit because he knows the games he mentioned in the notes were the most precious to you and wouldn't leave it hanging inside a plastic bag hooked on your front door knob and wait for him to get it without anyone looking at it suspiciously. 

It was too risky. 

Fuck human interaction, right? Your games were more important. 

Those little interactions and accidental touching of hands when you both decide it's the perfect time to grab a piece or two of potato chips Kenma bought on his grocery trip (believe me, it's a soulmate thing). 

Ah, yes. So romantic. 

Then the time came when you considered Kenma like one of your precious games — you don't want to throw it out, to sell and ship it away, you don't want anyone else to handle it because you know you can and you want to. You want him safe with you and show off to everyone as if he was the last copy of the rarest and most expensive purchase you've had. 

In their faces. 

You didn't really plan on confessing to him until you were playing where duos could battle and your opponent asked who Kenma was with because your moves were so in sync like you've played it for so long that you know each other's plays and moves (spoiler alert: you really did though). 

“They're my S/O,” he answered before looking at you and asked for confirmation, “right?”

Play first! Play first! You gripped the controller, mumbling strings of curses under your breath in which Kenma thought it was your way of letting out the rage because of the game. 

After you defeated them, you answered his previous question but more like stating it to your opponents, “Yeah, I'm his S/O,” you confirmed before reaching for the bag of chips beside Kenma when he grabbed your hand and placed a kiss between your knuckles then he continued playing as if it was the most normal thing he'd done. 

Tonight would be the third night you've gone without sleep with Kenma. It shouldn't be a habit because it's obviously unhealthy to not get even a little bit of rest throughout the day but it kinda became a thing for you two. It's the quality time, it's the hobbies and interests you share that makes you feel things. 

You weren't in front of Kenma's large TV tonight, you were plopped down on the bed with his blanket sitting comfortably over your bum and Kenma was outside the room somewhere doing something you absolutely didn't pay attention to when he was talking. 

His room wasn't entirely messy like you expected. It was the typical room that has that kind of home-y vibes just to your taste. There was a stack of paperworks on his bedside table and on the floor along with pens and folders. 

It was just like him to have this kind of room. 

Kenma entered the room with a big microwavable container enough to feed the both of you, talking to someone on the phone which was between his shoulder and ear, “Yeah, we're eating. No, please. Shoyo—”

To your surprise, it wasn't ramen or those ready-to-eat meals from the convenience store with only one tablespoon of meat and a cup of rice, no. It was a real meal, a very healthy one, you think. Turns out that Hinata and Kuroo sent it to his house that afternoon because his two best friends liked to take care of him and now, you too since the container became bigger compared to what Kenma had received when you weren't together yet. 

Kenma took a spoonful, hovered in front of you and waited for you to open your mouth before taking a bite for himself then went back to playing. 

That was also one of the things you both just… did for each other. For some people, it might be romantic to give the first bite to your lover and for others, it might be a way to protect themselves, you know? To check if it was poisoned. Your hidden intentions weren't voiced out, just simply trusted each other. 

A big celebratory YOU'VE REACHED THE END OF THE GAME appeared on the screen indicating that you both had completed the quests and can finally sleep. 

Eye contact was very necessary every after games (if his eyebags looked horrible, you should probably check yourself out too) like how placing a kiss between your knuckles became a habit of his. 

[writersrealmbts]

Christmas: LIVE (for charity)

Description: You’re a middle-of-the-road youtuber, not super famous, but not unfamous. Golden Closet and V are much more famous, and they’ve agreed to meet up and do a charity live-stream with you! 

“For the Christmas requests would you be able to do a Youtuber au? Where like Tae or Kookie do a charity stream with Y/n? Sorry it came so late it 😭😭”

Warnings: Fluff and stuff

Posted: 12/22/2020

Tags: taekook x reader

2,159 words

A/N: For anonny, here’s your request! Hope you like it! and it didn’t come late!

You kept working on your streaming setup, preparing for your guests for the charity stream. You figured more people were coming for them than you, since you weren’t as big as them on YouTube.

First was V, from Tiger Vante: real name of Kim Taehyung. He did gaming streams with your other guest, and published music now and then that he had quite the following for. Thoughtful videos and compilations of photos, and videos of projects he worked on. He even had a fashion line and made videos about other fashion things, like his fashion through the week. Other fashions, reviewing music and such, as well as doing projects using antique equipment. He was doing a photo study with different old cameras as he was able to, and he posted a lot of inspirational videos.

Your second guest was Jungkook from Golden Closet productions. He did a lot of gaming, was technically a professional gamer, and he also did music and video production. He did everything: art, singing, dancing, gaming, photography, video production--and he was constantly experimenting with new things. But his gaming was the big ticket.

You were a smaller YouTube channel. You had a few covers, and you did a parody song a year or so ago that garnered some attention. You did reactions, and you did some gaming streams, though not as many as your guests. You did a lot of chill games, with other games interspersed. You also did some makeup stuff, mostly stage makeup stuff that you carried over from college. Cooking. You did cooking streams, and sometimes you failed, other times you were successful. But cooking streams were some of your favorites.

You’d started doing the videos as a sort of...accountability. Your therapist recommended it to help you feel like you were doing more, because despite working eight hour workdays five days a week, you still struggled feeling like you were getting anything done and you sometimes lost track of days. It had helped, you were able to keep better track of things and you’d tried new things because of it. And somehow your fanbase had grown to let you cut your hours at your office job and relax a little more.

But today’s stream was to raise money for kids in the hospital, which was why you had V and Jungkook coming. The three of you would be doing various activities together and doing challenges to raise more money.

You arranged the snacks as well as you could, and then put on your elf hat. You’d already raised two hundred dollars just by wearing an elf costume for the stream.

“Hello?”

You stood up and smiled. “Hello! Nice to meet you, I’m y/n.”

“I’m Taehyung when I’m offscreen, I’d be happy if you called me that. Offscreen anyway. Thanks for inviting me today! Oh, this is Jungkook!” V introduced the other gamer.

Jungkook sort of dipped his head, looking awkward.

You smiled at both of them. “Nice to meet both of you. Thanks for agreeing to do this with me. I know you probably have better things to do.”

“No way, this is for charity!”

“It’s a good cause,” Jungkook added, sort of looking at you strangely.

“Oh, the outfit. Someone donated 200 dollars if I would wear an elf costume for the stream. My choice for the costume, look okay?” You asked, reaching up to adjust the hat.

“It’s super cute,” Taehyung gushed, then looked over at the setup. “Ooh! Nice! That looks great! Can I set up over there?”

“Go ahead, do you need help bringing in equipment?”

Jungkook shook his head. “Our hyungs are here to help us set up and carry things. We’ll be ready to go in no time.”

“Great, I’ll just stand out of the way.” You backed up and they signalled their group to bring in their equipment.

Between the seven boys, all of the equipment was set up in no time and the three of you were settling down for the stream.

They wished you three a good stream and then scattered.

The three of you sat down, syncing and getting your own set ups going.

“So, we’re going to start, give it five minutes, and then we’ll start playing that game you suggested over chat?” You asked, making sure you had that linked and setting things up so that you wouldn’t have to worry about anything once you were actually streaming.

“Yeah, sounds good. That camera is filming all of us, and then we have our individual ones, right?” Jungkook nodded to the carefully mounted and angled camera.

You nodded, handing cords to both of them for the camera connection. “Took me a while to figure this set up out. Here.”

Taehyung eagerly took it and plugged it into his computer and then let you quickly set it up.

Jungkook had it set up before you finished with Tae.

“Alright, it’s almost time. Ready?”

“Yeah, so...who’s starting things?” Taehyung asked, looking at you.

“My idea, so I can open it if you prefer,” You offered, checking how you looked on camera and then sighing. You couldn’t do much about it now.

“Ok, now, do you have any extra fun holiday stuff?” Taehyung asked, flicking the bell on your hat.

“A santa hat and reindeer antlers headband, and various other more girly things for me to alternate with throughout the stream.” You gestured to a bag and got everything ready. “Set the stream to start on the hour?”

Jungkook nodded then grabbed the santa hat. “Solidarity.”

Taehyung happily put on the antlers headband. “So cute! Okay, now it feels even more festive. How long did it take you to make the background?”

“Oh, I spent a couple hours, no biggie. I did something similar last year for my christmas stream. I just spiced it up a bit this year. One minute.”

They pushed their chairs closer to yours, all three streams using the camera that got all three of you.

You watched the timer tick down, hoping that it was successful and that you raised a lot of money for the charity.

The first fifteen minutes were nothing too special, it was interesting playing with other people while they were in the room and Jungkook kept mumbling thanks for donations in between decimating you and Tae, and Taehyung had a constant conversation going--partially with you--while he played.

You gave everyone a brief update since you hadn’t streamed in a couple days and people were asking about your puppy. “He’s fine. He’ll be home soon.”

“What happened to your puppy?” Jungkook asked, not missing a beat and decimating you in the meantime.

“Nothing serious, he got hurt while we were walking in the woods. They removed his dewclaw on the one leg and stitched him up. He’s already almost ready to come home. I’ll have him home for Christmas. Thank you for your donation, bluegrey613!”

Jungkook glanced over. “Hey, we probably have some requests right now. Since you’re dead can you check the chats?”

“Sure. Let’s see...they want V to do aegyo.”

Taehyung quickly did some, just barely escaping death.

“We don’t have mistletoe, sorry, guys,” You told Jungkook’s chat. “Besides, I kind of doubt they’d want to--”

“Who needs mistletoe?” Taehyung asked, pausing the game.

Next thing you knew donation signals were popping up on all three screens as the boys planted kisses on either of your cheeks.

You stared at the screen, blinking rapidly and trying to recover as both of them went back to their game like nothing had happened.

You swallowed hard and tried to focus on the requests that were flying up your screen. “Um...thank you...agustD for donating...after that request. Um...hopeworld requests that we...all do cutesy poses? He’s offering 50.”

“Make it 100 and it’s a deal,” Taehyung responded, finally getting annihilated.

You scanned the comments, waiting for a response from the same and making faces as requested. “Ooh, while we’re waiting they want to know how we met. Tae, you should tell them that saga.”

“If they’re going to make us do something cutesy, then they better be offering more than a hundred,” Jungkook grumbled.

“So...we started talking online, played a couple of games together recently--offstream so that we could discuss the fundraiser, I think we all have some clips from that game that we’re compiling and that will be posted later,” Taehyung started explaining, checking you and Jungkook for affirmation. “Then we actually met in person today! That’s about it! It’s not much of a story, but it’s a good start, don’t you think?”

You exchanged a curious look with Jungkook after witnessing the wink Taehyung threw the camera. “Snack time?”

Jungkook nodded. “Before he calls himself a snack.”

Your nose scrunched up before you could stop it.

Taehyung laughed, booping your nose. “Not me. But she definitely is.”

You shook your head. “No snacks for you.”

“Hey, hopeworld agreed to 100. Pose,” Jungkook intervened as Taehyung started to fake pout.

All three of you managed to do some cutesy pose and hold it for a couple of seconds until the donation alert popped up with many names.

“Ah...okay...that was popular,” Taehyung said, looking a little stunned as more notifications rolled in.

“Blame Jungkook, he avoids it usually so it’s rare,” You informed him, smirked at Jungkook.

He shrugged. “If I didn’t hold back the world would fall to my cuteness.”

You snorted and turned back to the comments. “RM is requesting that you guys...and I lost it. Whoops.”

“Ooh, here’s one from JinJinJara, he wants us to make couple-y poses--like exaggerated couple pictures!” Taehyung chuckled. “Lets do it!”

“I don’t need to relive prom, thanks, I was fine missing it the first time,” you joked.

“It’s for charity,” Taehyung pouted.

You groaned and then complied.

Not that you were complaining internally about two hunky guys taking mock couple-photos. There was something nice about being held by someone stronger.

The rest of the stream passed by pretty quickly, doing requests from the boys channels since only four people were requesting on your stream--the same five. It was hard not to feel like it was out of pity, the longer the stream went the viewer count on yours went down, and went up on theirs. You double checked your stream but it was fine.

But it was for charity. You didn’t mind being less popular as long as you raised enough money to do some good.

“We should do this next year, and more often! Ooh, could we do a New Years stream?” Taehyung enthused toward the end. You guys had reached your goal while playing another game, and were trying to casually close the stream.

“We…can discuss it…later. Anyway, thank you everyone who was watching and who donated. The donation links for all three of our channels will be open until the 26th! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas from Santa’s workshop!” Taehyung added brightly. “Remember to have all grandmas avoid reindeer crossing sites!”

“And be nice to the elves! They’re doing their best,” Jungkook added, cracking a smile as he flicked your hat.

You rolled your eyes and waved to the camera, then all three of you ended your streams.

“Man. That was intense,” Jungkook murmured.

“So, my five requesters, they’re the friends waiting outside, aren’t they?” You guessed, having done the math.

“What? No. Of course not.”

“Why would you think that?” Jungkook asked.

“Because you guys jumped at every request they gave, usually egging them on for more money, but you were more reserved with every other request given to us. That usually indicates a personal relationship.” You leaned back in your chair, taking off the hat and smoothing your hair.

Taehyung shrugged. “They were going to donate anyway. They just wanted to get their money’s worth. They were technically on all of our streams, but you’re better at reading comments and playing the game so requests on your channel got through better.”

You rolled your eyes. “Boys.”

“We did really well,” Jungkook said softly. “We make a good team. We just need to improve your playing on a couple games.”

You smiled. “Maybe. Alright. So, as far as new years goes, I’ve got a few games we can play while being in different places if that would work better. But also do it at a different time than when people would normally be partying because otherwise it would be a bust.”

“Okay!”

“Sounds good. Want to go grab some food with us? My treat?” Jungkook offered, smiling at you.

You pause, but then nod. “Sure. That sounds great. We can come back after to get your stuff if you like.”

“Sounds like a magical plan to me!” Taehyung grinned at you and then kissed your cheek again. “You really should have put some mistletoe in here. That would have made it extra festive. I’ll go tell hyungs the plan.”

You definitely weren’t blushing.

[nagitoandkokichioneshots]

Hello, Mod Mikan! while I was playing genshin impact, I suddenly thought “what if Nagito has a talentless S/O who is mentally weak? (Like when everyone is going to experience defeat for three times she’ll practically feel despair the heaviest)” Like I’ve never been so talented and I am always easy to give up but I am fine with myself and I really think its alright—but everytime I think about Nagito and me—I just thought that couldn’t be compatible y’know? He was so into Ultimates and the “symbols of hope” but what if there was a Y/N whose like Hinata. Just a reserve course kid, helpful yet easy to feel despair the most- I could just imagine Nagito’s sarcastic remarks and how much he would be so cocky around them. He would pretty much underestimate them then rant about how worthless and undeserving they are in the group.

Like I imagine when Y/N was talking about their opinions and thoughts in a class trial, then Nagito would just disrupt them and speak as if they weren’t there. If Y/N told him “I am speaking”, Nagito would be like “HuH. YoUr OpInIon Is WoRthLeSs, We Don’T nEed It iN ThE ClaSs TriaL”. Y/N would feel humiliated and shameful, Nagito will probs express his disappointment “WhAt A WaStE Of TimE”. Since he deemed himself “trash” knowing that you feel humiliated by trash made him feel like Y/N was trully a hopeless being. Knowing Nagito, he would probably think Y/N was the traitor among them. He would rise suspicions just because Y/N was trying to be themselves. “Its obvious. The person who will be the traitor is Y/N. Y/N is too bland and talentless to be able to join the Ultimates. Plus, when it comes to despair Y/N is the only one who can give up just by small trials and error.” while Y/N is just there listening to every word he said.

But since I am a sucker for rivals to lovers relationship and I always love the concept of “opposites attract”. Sincerely, I really think Nagito would be better with a talentless one y’know? His expectations for the Ultimates are too high, “overcome despair and all”. I headcannon that he will push his talented S/O even though its really uncomfortable or out of their league because he believe that an angel of hope can overcome everything. His obsessive behavior for the symbols of hope made him feel so worthless that he will offer his life as a stepping stone. Its really an unhealthy behavior. If ever he have one, if he ever have the patience to understand a non-Ultimate—I do think he will put atleast some worth to himself now that he understands the point of view of a non-Ultimate but thats just a thought. I wanna hear your thoughts or opinion about this one! I honestly wanna wrote this idea in a short oneshot which I will never post-

Mod Mikan: Good morning/afternoon/evening, my dear! Ah, this seems like a very interesting ask. I have a lot of thoughts of Nagito X untalented SO, but to save you the time, I’ll try to be as concise as possible 

*crackles knuckles* 

Personally, I feel like Nagito, eventually, would be able to develop a normal relationship with either an Ultimate SO or a reserve course!SO. But I feel like time is key. Either way, at the beginning of the relationship, he would raise some red flags and some people could label the relationship, even before it starts to blossom, as toxic 

With Nagito and reserve course students, we can see how rude he can be. Oh god, he’d be so mean! Especially since he calls himself ‘worthless trash’ someone that thinks so lowly of himself insulting you would honestly bring down someone’s self esteem rapidly. He would throw back-handed insults, sarcastic compliments, and just brush them off. When he’s not ignoring the ‘worthless’ existence of reserve course students, he’s probably insulting the hell outta them

Is it weird I lowkey want Nagito to call me useless trash? I don’t like degradiation, but Nagito can do whatever the hell he wants with me :)

I’ll stop

We can clearly see this with Hajime, when Nagito is being a highkey dick towards him. But everyone seems to forget about this one piece of dialogue Nagito says to Hajime before the fourth class trial: 

Nagito is coming to a struggle with why he still has strong positive feelings towards Hajime. He knows that Hajime and him are ‘the same’, yet he still is having a conflict with why he can’t bring himself to hate Hajime. This is because he has romantic feelings towards him, and is conflicted with his own beliefs vs his emotional feelings 

I also kinda picked up that Nagito was.....’happy’ kinda that Hajime was a reserve course student. I know it’s weird to say that, but before the 4th class trial, Nagito says “We’re the same” and “At least I know my place”. It’s a long shot to think about this, but I don’t think he was mad at Hajime for being talentless. What he was really mad about was that Hajime tried to become and claim that he was more than an ordinary guy, while Nagito was content with being a mere stepping stone. They’re two sides of the same coin  

The reason why I don’t write for Nagito X Reserve Course!Reader is because I genuinely don’t know how to pan out the relationship. He’d be so rude towards them, and I honestly wouldn’t know how to write his developing feelings towards them mixing with his own beliefs about the untalented. I see many writers write Nagito X untalented SO beautifully, and everything is well played out and elegantly written and thought out. I personally do not have the bright mind to do something like that, plus with Hajime’s case, it’s a bit different if it would take place in a non-despair AU (cause I don’t like writing during a killing game for obvious reasons) 

With Hajime (cause Nagito’s romantic feelings towards him are canon), Nagito always thought he was an Ultimate until he got a hold of the files in Chapter 4. Yes, Nagito felt that there was something different about Hajime from the others, but he never thought that Hajime was talentless. Still, even though he becomes a sarcastic shithead towards him, he still retains his feelings towards him, while bringing him down. I know it sounds weird, saying it out loud, but that’s what makes this concept so interesting

With an Ultimate SO, Nagito would put them on a pedestal and worship them like a god-like figure. He’d see his Ultimate SO as a ‘prince/princess charming’ and a deity creature that can’t do anything wrong. This is very unhealthy and toxic, considering that he’s worshipping them, getting down on his hands and knees and praising them until the day he dies. While this is can pan out as borderline obsessive behavior, Nagito IS in fact capable of acting normal around Ultimates. A famous example is his friendship with Chiaki! 

A lot of people forget this, but Nagito and Chiaki ARE capable of being just as good friends as him and Hajime. He holds an immense amount of not just respect, but also trust, for Chiaki if he trusts her enough to go down through the underground passage at their school and see him holding Junko at a gunpoint. Even when SPOILER ALERT: 

Chiaki dies in the anime, he has a ‘flicker of emotion’, where he looks sad at her death, but then comes to with his typical, calm demeanor. Which implies that Chiaki was deeply someone that he really cared about and got to know as a person, not just as an ultimate 

It’s been a while since I watched his OVA, but in there, he apparently considers Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko good friends, which I actually found cute (I love BROTP). And he tells Fuyuhiko that he secretly hates the talented and wishes for a world without any talented so everyone would be equals. However, Nagito is a stubborn dude. He equates one’s worth with one’s talented. After all, isn’t that what Hope Peak’s academy, the school Nagito admires SOOO~ much all about? 

This is why I personally believe that Nagito deserves an SO that is patient. I personally do not have the patience that Hajime has (Cause let’s be real--Hajime probably has A LOT of patience if he deals with Nagito :)). Cause either way, at the very beginning, the relationship would be toxic since either extreme would be present. But time is key. I feel like with time, Nagito would either 

1) See them as an equal 

or 

2) See himself as an equal 

It is honestly such a fascinating play on romance fanfics, since Nagito X Reserve course!SO are a very rare thing to stumble upon, yet when I read about them, it’s well thought out while being canon. Nagito can be an asshole towards the untalented, but he’s also seen being capable of being mean towards the Ultimates as well (*coughs* post dead room Nagito *coughs*) I know it’s unpopular opinion, and Nagito can be himself and more relaxed around a reserve course student, but I feel like he is capable of having a healthy relationship with an ultimate and untalented person, as seen with his friendship with Hajime (a reserve course student) and Chiaki (The Ultimate Gamer) 

Also, the fact that Nagito found out the boy he was crushing on, along with all his rolemodels were remanats of despair really doesn’t help out with trying to not hate them  

[haloshornsinkstains]

Kinktober? (Semi)Public Sex [Kuroo]

Not sure I ever posted this here, sorry if I did. Brain mush right now. But I am trying to continue with the Kinktober stuff as and when I can, and hopefully I’ll get around to writing some headcanons and fun seasonal stuff soon too. Suggestions are always welcome. :)

CW: Female Reader, semi-public sex, some terrible chemistry puns, alcohol

“What is that cat doing?” Suga glanced up from his drink, following Daichi’s glare across the bar. Where you’d been dancing on your own earlier, the former Nekoma Captain was now pressed against your back, smirking. He turned back to Daichi and sighed. “I thought Kenma was supposed to be watching him!” Daichi growled. “I think Kenma is a bit busy right now.” Suga gestured to a far booth and familiar head of orange hair huddled against the gamer. “You worry too much Daichi, she can handle herself.” Daichi frowned and shook his head. “I’m not-” “I’ve been out drinking with her before, believe me, she can. If she didn’t want Kuroo there he wouldn’t be, and… I know you might disagree but he’s a decent guy really.” He leant his head against the others shoulder. “There’s always someone there to help her if she needs it. Half the guys in this room act like her older brothers, she’ll be fine . Now, as sexy as the protective big brother thing is, stop moping and enjoy your night off with me.” “I can’t believe you took her out drinking.” “She’s 23. Now shut up and kiss me you idiot.”

Across the bar, blissfully unaware of the conversation happening about you, you found yourself grinding back into a solid body. Glancing over your shoulder you raised a questioning eyebrow at the man, he merely smirked in response though he did step away a little until you grinned at him. “Aw c’mon, I haven’t even tried to scare you off yet.” You laughed. The man smiled and moved closer again, large hands coming to rest on your hips. “You’re planning to scare me off?” You shrugged. “Not yet, we’ll see.” “Can I at least get a name before you chase me away?” His deep voice was right in your ear and something about it sent a shiver up your spine, you ground your ass back against him in retaliation. You were going to tell him, really you were, but a guy sidled up to the pair of you and eyed the man you were dancing with. “Hey baby, I can show you a much better time than this-” You felt the man behind you tense, ready to interject, but you shook your head giving the stranger a smile that terrifyingly reminded Kuroo of Suga in full mom-mode back in the day. The stranger actually flinched. “I’m having a good time here thanks.” And how one person could sound so sweet and so terrifying at the same time Kuroo would never know, but the guy was gone and honestly he was beyond impressed. “That was… something.” He practically purred into your ear. You shrugged. “I had a good teacher. And I really am having a good time.” “Oho?” “Mhm. Haven’t even tried to scare you off with a terrible chat up line yet.” He chuckled behind you, “they can’t be that bad.” The song changed and you used it as an excuse to turn to face him, your arms resting around his neck as you studied his face properly. He really was handsome, the kind of good looking that even made his bedhead hairstyle look sexy. You could only blame the alcohol and his good looks for muddling your brain and making the next words to come out of your mouth seem like a great idea. “Are you Francium? Because you’re really attractive.” Ooops. Well, it was nice while it lasted. Kuroo blinked a few times, before his face split into a wide grin and a terrible hyena laugh burst from his lips. Once the laughing had subsided, and you were so thankful for the coloured lights hiding your blushing face, you realised he was still holding you. And still smiling. “That was amazing.” He chuckled. “Know any more?” Fuck. He was hot and liked awful science puns? Well that decided it. You grabbed his hand, tugging him away from the dancefloor and towards the back of the club.

You pushed him inside the bathroom stall, locking the door behind you and turning to him. “A bar toilet, really?" You shrugged. “There’s the grimy alley if you prefer? Or you can leave I guess, but well…” You gestured vaguely towards the obvious bulge in his jeans. “I got the feeling you might-” He was kissing you before you finished, strong hands lifting you almost effortlessly up onto the sink so he was pressed between your legs. “Fuck you’re hot.” You smiled. “I think that’s my line.” His lips were back on yours in an instant, one hand tangled in your hair while the other pushed your skirt up around your hips. You moaned into his mouth as his thumb rubbed across your underwear, pressing into the dampness that had already accumulated there. “Ah, fuck, we don’t have-” He groaned in response, pushing your underwear aside and pressing two fingers into your wet heat with ease. That pulled a low moan from his throat, as you gasped and bucked your hips against his hand. From the other side of the door you could hear the voices of the other people in the bar, friends and former teammates easy to pick out over the low hum of noise. You whine, fisting your hands in the front of his shirt. “You don’t have time to tease me. Please, I want you.” He huffs, but any real irritation is clouded by lust as he fishes a condom out of his pocket (you would question it, because really what? But you’re far too focused on releasing him from his jeans). You bite your lip hard to hold back the moan when you finally release his cock, long and thick and curved so perfectly you think you lose the ability to think straight just looking at it. You can practically feel his smirk, and glance up to see him biting back some sort of sarcastic remark. Just to spite him you snatch the condom wrapper from his hands, rolling it onto him yourself and slowly sliding your hand along his now covered erection. The groan that leaves him is pure sin and you can’t help but wrap your legs around his hips, urging him closer. He complies, eyes squeezed shut as he slides into you. You understand the feeling completely, biting down hard on your lip to stop you crying out from just how perfect he feels inside you, the slight burn of the stretch only adding to the sensation. “Move. God, please move.” You urge, rocking your hips against him. Move he does, your head thudding back against the mirror as he starts to thrust, breathing ragged already. He leans forward, bracing himself against the wall with his arms caging you in as he sets a punishing pace, his lips finding yours in an attempt to stifle his moans. “You feel so fucking perfect.” You whine at the praise, arching into him already embarrassingly close, but he doesn’t stop the words tumbling from his mouth. “I wish we had more time, I want to feel you come on my tongue. Want to treat you right. Fuck you feel so good.” It’s so perfect and so intense and you’re so close already. It feels like he is too, the way his body is trembling around you, brow furrowed and bottom lip caught between his teeth. Somewhere on the other side of the door you can hear someone hammering and shouting at you to hurry up and get out of there, if you weren’t so close to finishing you’d probably want to punch them. But Kuroo shifts slightly, thumb swiping over your clit in small circles and that is more than distracting enough, even as his movements become jerky and then still. He keeps going until you follow him into your own orgasm, his lips swallowing the loud moan that bubbles up in your throat.  You stay like that for a few moments, lips moving against each other as you both come down from your respective highs. It’s over too soon, him pulling out of you, disposing of the used condom and gingerly tucking himself back into his pants. You sigh, leaning forwards and swiping his phone to enter your number. “In case you want to do that again as much as I do Kuroo-san.” You grin, hopping down from the sink on wobbly legs and returning to the party.

Kuroo sighs, pocketing the phone again and making his way back over to his former teammates. Yaku narrows his eyes when he approached, frowning. “Kuroo. Please tell me you didn’t have sex with Sawamura-san’s little sister.” Kuroo blinks, suddenly realising you seemed to know his name when he never gave it out, that would also explain the glare he felt burning into his back while he was dancing with you. After a few seconds he grins, glancing over to see you whirling a drunk Nishinoya around the dance floor. “That sounds like my cue to leave.”

[from: Unknown Number] Are you a carbon isotope? Because I want to date you.

[from: you] Kuroo? Marry me.

[from: Unknown Number] The one and only. I think your brother would kill me. Rude not letting me know, fyi.

[from: you] Sorry! I was trying to not scare you away. Coffee tomorrow?

[from: Kuroo] It’s a date.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Four Elements Bow build (In-depth Theory Build)

(Screenshot from Avatar the Last Airbender.)

Water Whip.

Not that much Earth.

Flames of the Phoenix.

Fist of Unbroken Air.

Long ago, the Four Elements Monk was a viable subclass. Then, everything changed when the Fifth Edition dropped. Only Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything, master of making underwhelming subclasses viable, could make this subclass playable.

A hundred years passed and Wizards of the Coast discovered the new Monk playstyle, a bow user using Dedicated Weapon. And although they’d probably be better as a Kensei, there’s still a lot of potential for a cool character. But I believe the Four Elements Monk can be a viable subclass.

Welcome back to the semi-infrequent “here’s a random build I thought would be cool that doesn’t fit any League of Legends characters” series of posts on this Tumblr. But unlike most of my builds I’m going to go fairly in-depth into this and provide as detailed of a guide as possible on playing a vanilla Four Elements Monk with a Shortbow. Honestly this is a build that I have wanted to play for awhile but it always sort of fell on the backburner because I have other characters I want to play more. Ah c’est la vie, but it still means I can share this build here!

WHAT IS THIS BUILD?

In short Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything gave the Monk two very important key features that make playing a Monk with a Shortbow viable. The first is Dedicated Weapon, allowing you to turn any weapon into a Monk weapon as long as you are proficient with it and it lacks the Heavy or Special properties. This sadly means that you can not use a Longbow (as the Longbow has the Heavy property for some reason) but this does make the Shortbow a somewhat viable option for Monks!

WHY A SHORTBOW SPECIFICALLY - Crossbows are still gimped by the Loading property, and this build isn’t designed to use Crossbow Expert since you’ll likely be using your Bonus Action for other things (attacking a lot of the time or to use features like Step of the Wind.) The only other two weapons you can use are a Light Crossbow (which only has one attack and isn’t substantially better than a Shortbow) and the Hand Crossbow (which is pretty much just objectively worse than a Shortbow if you’re not going for Crossbow Expert.)

Crossbow Expert can be used in this build but you will be losing out on a lot of the value. And I mean you could’ve honestly picked a better class than Monk for a Crossbow Expert build.

The second feature that makes this build semi-viable for a Four Elements Monk is Ki-Fueled Attack, allowing you to make an unarmed strike or Monk weapon attack as a Bonus Action if you use a Ki point on a class feature with your main action. While this does accentuate other subclasses (such as the Way of Shadow) this was primarily added to allow the Four Elements Monk to still attack after using its Elemental Disciplines.

The important wording here is that you can make a Monk Weapon attack with this feature, meaning that you can fire your Shortbow as a Bonus Action after using an Elemental Discipline. This gives you a lot more flexibility to stay in the backline as a pseudo-caster, being allowed to use the Four Elements Monk’s powerful ranged options like Clench of the North Wind (Hold Person) and Flames of the Phoenix (Fireball) without it conflicting with your intended playstyle. It’s not as much of a problem that your abilities are ranged when your basic combat is ranged too.

I mean you’d still probably be better just playing a Warlock and spamming Eldritch Blast, but at least the flavor is cool right?

WHY RUN THIS BUILD?

PROS

More flexible short rest “casting” than a Warlock.

Get to use an underplayed subclass.

Get to use a weapon that isn’t often used in 5e (the Shortbow.)

Get to take the Monk class in a unique direction not often possible with other subclasses / builds.

CONS

Very limited use of your other core Monk abilities (notably Stunning Strike.)

Your DPS will be subpar in comparison to other dedicated ranged builds.

You’re still playing Four Elements Monk lmao. (You’ll have all the problems of Four Elements Monk, notably the insane Ki consumption and rather underwhelming spell scaling.)

Like, you’d honestly just be better just playing an Improved Pact Weapon Warlock.

In short the literal only reason to run this build is just to try to make Four Elements Monk viable. If you want something stronger just play a Crossbow Expert Fighter. If you want a viable bow fighter then Kensei Monk is also a considerably better option.

Also because I’m going far more in-depth this time I’m going to be explaining a lot of different options, which are going to be marked and color coded as follows:

✨ OPTIMAL - Grants unique abilities that empower the build specifically.

🌟 GREAT - Very good option with no weaknesses / losses in opportunity cost.

⭐ GOOD - Strong option in its own right but perhaps not too powerful for the build at hand.

👍 OK - Decent enough but mostly for roleplay than actual practicality. Has some flaws that don’t stack up well, or simply doesn’t provide enough to be chosen over other options.

👎 BAD - Don’t pick this option lol. There are other options that are just objectively better.

RACE

So remember how I said I’d go far more in-depth with this guide? Well I’m going to cover all the races, and the pros and cons of each.

👎 DRAGONBORN

While it’s certainly flavorful you’re hardly ever going to get into range to use your breath weapon, and since it scales off Constitution it likely won’t hit even if you get to use it. Your damage resistances will be situational at best. There are honestly better races to get damage resistances from.

👎 PHB DRAGONBORN

See above.

👎 DRACONBLOOD (Wildemount)

You’re a Wisdom class. You shouldn’t be making Charisma checks. Losing your damage resistance for Charisma checks is bad if not arguably worse than the base PHB Dragonborn.

👍 RAVENITE (Wildemount)

The ability to shoot back at someone who hits you honestly isn’t completely worthless, but in this build more than any other Monk build you’re likely going to be using Deflect Missiles a lot. It’s up to you if you think tanking a shot is worth it to shoot back but I’d sooner just play a race with more useful abilities overall.

👎 CHROMATIC (UA)

Total damage immunity is neat. Doesn’t stop the breath weapon from being largely useless.

👎 METALLIC (UA)

The Metallic breath weapon can be nice to give yourself some space, but it’ll come up so rarely it’s not worth taking an entire race for it.

👍 GEM (UA)

Now this is mildly interesting. Having a (non-Concentration!) Flight ability once per Long Rest can be useful! Thing is you’ll likely be using Ride the Wind in this build quite frequently, so Flight loses a lot of its value. And again: both your breath weapon and your damage resistance will largely wind up being redundant.

👍 DWARF

An amusing prospect but there aren’t many Dwarf subraces that work well for a Monk. Thankfully Tasha’s allows you to swap the proficiencies from Dwarven Combat Training with tools (or possibly even a Hand Crossbow if you swing that way) but you still won’t be able to use a Longbow because lol “Heavy weapon.”

👍 DUERGAR

Both Enlarge / Reduce and Invisibility can be useful, but they’re both Concentration spells which means you can’t use them at the same time as your Elemental Disciplines. And man does that Sunlight Sensitivity hurt! Your mileage may vary based on how frequently your party fights in the daytime, but this race is suboptimal at best and seriously detremental at worst.

👍 HILL

I mean, I’m not going to complain about extra health, but it’s largely redundant for a backline character. Take it if you want to dump CON like a gamer.

👎 MARK OF WARDING (Eberron)

None of the spells you get are that good, and you likely aren’t going to be making Investigation / Thieves’ Tools checks as a Monk.

👎 MOUNTAIN

I mean if you want to powergame for that sweet +2 DEX / +2 WIS. A +1 ASI isn’t worth the completely worthless armor proficiencies in my opinion.

👍 ELF

Ah an all-time classic. Can’t go wrong with the Elf Archer. But of course what we’re really here for is the subraces, as the baseline Elf package doesn’t provide much. The one thing that’s worth mentioning is that Elves do gain access to the Elven Accuracy feat, but since you’re likely going to be using Clench of the North Wind (Hold Person) your attacks are going to be auto-critting anyways, so it’s not as useful for this build as it is for an average Monk using Stunning Strike.

Regarding the Aereni, Valenar, and PHB High / Wood elves (Eberron) - The Aereni Elves get Expertise in one skill, making them by far the best Elf if given the option to choose. The Valenar and baseline elves just get weapon proficiencies which you will end up swapping anyways as the only weapon you’re going to use extensively is the Shortbow.

👎 DROW

Your spells scale off Charisma and you have very little practical use for Darkness. Sunlight Sensitivity takes an already suboptimal choice and makes it actively detrimental.

👍 ELADRIN

Teleportation is never not useful. I’d primarily opt for the Spring variant for some utility with allies, but Winter and Autum can also be useful. With all that being said I may be tempted just to play a High Elf for the Fey Teleportation feat.

👍 HIGH ELF

The cantrip can be useful if you take a utility cantrip like Message, Mending, or even Prestidigitation. (I’m actually playing a High Elf Monk right now!) But again: the real reason to play a High Elf is the Fey Teleportation feat.

⭐ MARK OF SHADOW (Eberron)

A nice cantrip, a boost to stealth, and (most notably) the Invisibility spell. Good options if you want a bit of Rogue in your Monk.

🌟 PALLID (Wildemount)

Invisibility is nice but Sleep and Light vary in utility. The real utility however is the Advantage on Insight checks, which for a Wisdom character will be consistently useful! Advantage on Investigation checks is also nice to have.

👍 SEA

Are you in an aquatic campaign? Well here’s your subrace. Are you not in an aquatic campaign? Then this subrace is almost completely pointless.

🌟 SHADAR-KAI

Pretty much objectively better than the Eladrin, and offer a compelling argument to be played with their Necrotic resistance and damage resistant teleport. Just be ready to be called an edgelord for playing the death elf.

⭐ WOOD

5 extra feet of movement goes a long way for a Monk, and being able to hide goes a long way for an archer. The Wood Elf Magic feat isn’t all that useful for you unfortunately.

⭐ GNOME

Gnomes arguably became one of the strongest races in the game in general now that Tasha’s allows you to move their Intelligence boost elsewhere. Gnome Cunning is damn useful, and their subraces aren’t half bad either!

👍 DEEP (Svirfneblin)

Woah an Underdark race that doesn’t have Sunlight Sensitivity?! Memes aside this race has a similar problem as the other Underdark races for slightly better reasons. While other Underdark races are useless in the light Deep Gnomes by contrast don’t do anything when outside of a cave, as Stone Camouflage is situational at best. Still: you can do worse!

⭐ FOREST

Get Minor Illusion, talk to squirrels. Very fun to roleplay though perhaps not the most practical in-combat. You’d be surprised how useful getting help from the birds and the bees can be while out-of-combat, however.

👎 MARK OF SCRIBING (Eberron)

Ah yes; NPC race. Let’s be honest you are only picking this race for roleplay.

👎 ROCK

Even with the bonus to History checks your Intelligence likely won’t be high enough to succeed on them. The Tinkerer trait (while fun) likely won’t be that useful overall.

🌟 HALF ELF

+4 to your starting stats is never a bad thing.

🌟 PHB HALF ELF

+4 to your starting stats and two free skills? Sign me up!

👍 AQUATIC

Is your campaign an Aquatic campaign? If so, proceed to page 4.

👎 DROW

Your casting is still based on Charisma, and you still have little use for Darkness. Even if you don’t have Sunlight Sensitivity the spellcasting won’t be used much realistically.

👎 HIGH

The main reason to make a High Elf Monk is Fey Teleportation, and as a Half Elf you are denied access to that feat.

👍 MARK OF DETECTION (Eberron)

You get some nice utility spells and a bonus to Insight checks. The Wizard can honestly be the one to cast Detect Magic instead, but if no one’s playing a caster you can take that duty.

👍 MARK OF STORM (Eberron)

Boosting your Acrobatics checks is nice for a Monk. Everything else is kinda situational, especially since you can get Gust of Wind as an Elemental Discipline. But let’s be real: the main reason to pick a Dragonmark is roleplay, not practicality.

👎 WOOD

Hiding better or moving slightly faster isn’t worth losing two skill proficiencies.

🌟 HALFLING

You’ll be thanking me when Lucky saves you.

🌟 GHOSTWISE

Telepathy is extremely underrated. At worst it’s a way to justify mid-combat strategizing with your allies, but at best it can be an insanely useful stealth tool.

⭐ LIGHTFOOT

Being able to hide can be useful, but you’re not Rogue.

🌟 LOTUSDEN (Wildemount)

More casting to augment your Four Elements flavor (reflavor your spells as Earth manipulation) and the ability to ignore difficult terrain. The only downside is that the innate spellcasting provided from your race also takes Concentration, but more options are never a bad thing.

🌟 MARK OF HEALING (Eberron)

👏 Cure 👏 Wounds! 👏 It’s more than worth it to have a one-time use of Cure Wounds; boosts to Medicine checks and a one-time use of Lesser Restoration is also extremely useful.

👎 MARK OF HOSPITALITY (Eberron)

Ah yes; NPC race. You’re not a Charisma class so what little utility this race would have is lost completely.

👎 STOUT

Monks get immunity to poison by level 10, but if you’re not going to hit level 10 this might be useful?

👍 HALF-ORC

Relentless Endurance could be useful, but Savage Attacks are largely wasted in a ranged build.

👍 PHB HALF-ORC

See above.

⭐ MARK OF FINDING (Eberron)

A one-time use of Hunter’s Mark may actually be worth it, and Hunter’s Intuition is nice too. Still doesn’t stop Savage Attacks from being worthless in a ranged build.

⭐ HUMAN

Mmmm feat. You know I’m going to speak highly of Variant Human, but we can at least talk about the Eberron humans too.

👎 PHB HUMAN

And the baseline human... +1 in everything is worthless; you don’t need an increase to your dump stats.

⭐ MARK OF FINDING (Eberron)

Honestly I think I’d prefer being an Orc. But yeah: Hunter’s Mark is genuinely worth it, and Hunter’s Intuition doesn’t hurt either.

👍 MARK OF HANDLING (Eberron)

“Hello mister DM I wish to play a Pokemon trainer.” You know exactly what you’re doing as a Mark of Handling Human.

⭐ MARK OF MAKING (Eberron)

Being able to make your bow a +1 almost makes you as good as a Kensei?

🌟 MARK OF PASSAGE (Eberron)

Misty Step once per Long Rest is nice. A boost to Acrobatics is also nice. And 5 extra feet of movement is good too. Together? You’ve got a nice package that comes with roleplay of a Dragonmarked house!

👍 MARK OF SENTINEL (Eberron)

Shield likely won’t be that useful for you as a Monk. The swapping ability can allow you to take a hit for an ally however, and sharing damage is generally a good idea. There are better options overall however (notably you could take 4 levels in Cleric for Warding Bond.)

✨ VARIANT HUMAN

You no longer have to ask if Sharpshooter is worth it, which makes Variant Human a good choice in its own right.

BTW it goes without saying that Custom Lineage is similarly good for this build.

👎 TIEFLING

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless. This means that the only ability you’ll be using frequently is the Fire resistance, which is situational at best.

I’m also not going to mention the Feral Tiefling as the only change is your stat bonuses, which are made redundant by Tasha’s.

👎 PHB TIEFLING

See above.

👎 BAALZEBUL 

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

👍 DISPATER 

Disguise Self is actually not completely useless! I mean, I’d rather be a Changeling. But if Changelings are banned...!

👎 FIERNA

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

⭐ GLASYA 

Far more useful than Dispater as all the spells are useful (instead of just one.) Still doesn’t change the fact that I’d honestly rather be a Changeling.

👎 LEVISTUS 

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

👍 MAMMON

All of your innate spells are largely utility based... So what you’re saying is that the Wizard should be casting those spells instead?

👎 MEPHISTOPHELES 

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

👎 VARIANT - DEVIL’S TONGUE

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

👎 VARIANT - HELLFIRE

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

🌟 VARIANT - WINGED

The one Tiefling I’d genuinely consider! Innate flight is always a huge boon, and the Fire Resistance becomes a nice bonus. Thing is you will likely be using Ride the Wind to give yourself Flight. But being able to concentrate on other Elemental Disciplines is nice!

👍 ZARIEL

You can at least use Branding Smite on Ranged attacks, but Searing Smite will be completely useless.

👍 LEONIN

Your main ability of Daunting Roar is largely redundant. Everything else is nice but I’d sooner pick a Half Elf or Variant Human.

⭐ SATYR

Magic resistance is always good, and better jumps as a Monk is never bad. Thing is that you legit get nothing else other than skills I guess.

⭐ AARAKOCRA

Innate flight is always a huge boon. Thing is you will likely be using Ride the Wind to give yourself Flight. But being able to concentrate on other Elemental Disciplines is nice!

I’d rather a Winged Tiefling for Fire Resistance, but it’s worth mentioning that  Aarakocra have absolutely ridiculous flight speed (50 base, up to 80 at max Monk level.) I mean if your DM hasn’t banned the Aarakocra go ahead I guess.

⭐ GENASI

CON casting isn’t the best, but there are some good options. And of course being an elemental being as a Four Elements Monk is super fun!

⭐ AIR

Levitate is nice, and you can be Aang!

🌟 EARTH

Pass Without Trace can be extremely useful for your party, and Earth Walk lets you keep your mobility up.

👎 FIRE

You can cast Burning Hands as an Elemental Discipline, and Produce Flame is just a worse Light cantrip for you.

🌟 WATER

An obvious choice if you want to lean into the Water Bender aspect, and a really good way for you to produce water for the Elemental Disciplines that require it. (Shape the Flowing River.) Also one of the few ways you can get Acid resistance (like that’s going to come up) and an all-around great choice if in an Aquatic campaign.

👍 GOLIATH

Stone’s Endurance is largely redundant. That basically just leaves Mountain Born which is... alright?

🌟 AASIMAR

Like lowkey Aasimar are kinda OP? Damage resistances, a bit of healing, some Light for your allies (or yourself I guess), and three powerful transformation options at level 3.

👎 FALLEN

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting Fear ability will be largely useless.

Protector is pretty much objectively better since you likely won’t be getting into melee range for the fear anyways.

✨ PROTECTOR

This is the one flying race that I won’t say invalidates Ride the Wind. Having a once-per-day “master let me go all out just this once” ability is extremely for when... well, you have to go all out! Increasing your damage output and being able to concentrate on other Elemental Disciplines is very nice.

👎 SCOURGE

YOU. ARE. LITERALLY. KILLING. YOURSELF. No! Just go for Protector!

👍 VARIANT?

I mean I don’t know why you would but having Lesser Restoration and Daylight might be useful? The official Aasimar is kinda just objectively better though.

👍 BUGBEAR

Your long-limbed trait will mostly be wasted, but Surprise Attack might have some use.

✨ FIRBOLG

Actually an insanely good option if you want to defy the norm and play an 8 foot tall Monk. You have some good innate spellcasting, non-concentration Invisibility that takes your Bonus Action (easily the most useful feature for this build), and Speech of Beast and Leaf as an added bonus. I’d probably only play a Critical Roll cowbolg as a Firbolg, but it’s certainly a great option both in and out of combat!

✨ GOBLIN

Fury of the Small is nice, but what you’re really here for is Nimble Escape. Play what I’d humbly call “shitty Rogue” and Hide every turn with your Bonus Action if you don’t use it for something else.

👍 HOBGOBLIN

Saving Face isn’t worth playing a race that’s otherwise dead in the water. Fun for roleplay I guess and has nothing that goes against your playstyle, but very underwhelming overall.

⭐ HOBGOBLIN OF THE FEYWILD (UA)

I still have no fucking idea why this race exists, but I digress: being able to Help as a Bonus Action is certainly useful, and your three Fey Gift options are good as well. This subclass just gives you more uses of your Bonus Action overall, which (combined with general Monk features) means that you should be able to do something everything round. I’d sooner opt for a plain-old Goblin but I guess if you want some Fey flavor without being an Elf?

⭐ KENKU

Skills are nice. Mimicry is nice. Forgery is nice. This is an RP-heavy race, and you are likely picking it for the RP.

🌟 KOBOLD

Pack Tactics is bullshit overpowered. Sunlight Sensitivity does make it considerably worse however. Results will vary based on what your DM allows.

👍 UA KOBOLD

The loss of Pack Tactics hurts, and none of the options you gain really make up for it. Still the option for advantage against fears or a free cantrip can be nice.

👍 LIZARDFOLK

Very fun to roleplay but you won’t be using a single feature from this race except Hunter’s Lore and maybe Cunning Artisan (if your DM lets you make bone-tipped arrows.)

👍 ORC

So I’m just going to ignore the Volo’s Orcs since the Eberron / Wildemount Orcs are objectively better. With that being said: Aggressive is largely redundant for a ranged build, which just leaves Primal Intuition and I guess Powerful Build as the only traits of use you get. Nothing works against your character but there’s nothing particularly good.

✨ TABAXI

No matter how you spin it Feline Agility is insane for a Monk.

👍 TRITON

The most mediocre of the aquatic options next to perhaps the Sea Elf. Gust as an innate spell will largely go to waste due to your low Charisma, Fog Cloud is meh, and Wall of Water is also subpar. Good for Waterbender roleplay but that’s about it.

👍 YUAN-TI

Get yelled at for playing an overpowered race any% speedrun.

You won’t be increasing your Charisma so your innate casting will be largely useless.

That just leaves you with poison immunity (gained at Monk level 10) and Magic resistance... I’d sooner play a Gnome or Satyr.

👍 TORTLE

Cute, and your Natural Armor will be useful until you hit 20 DEX / 14 WIS. Thing is you don’t need high AC much as a ranged fighter, and the usefulness of this race tapers off massively once the only good thing it provides (its shell) becomes a detriment instead of a boon.

⭐ CHANGELING

You’re not exactly a Charisma character, but innate Disguise Self is never not useful. You can get around low Charisma if you have a lenient DM and good roleplay.

⭐ KALASHTAR 

The best way I can describe the Kalashtar is “neat but nothing I’d lose my head over.” Advantage on Wisdom saves is nice, Psychic resistance is nice, and telepathy is also nice. But none of these are traits that I’m going to go out of my way to get. Play a Kalashtar if you like the roleplay, I guess.

👎 SHIFTER

Le furry has arrived. You don’t really need the Temp HP provided by Shifting.

👎 BEASTHIDE

You don’t need AC or Temp HP as a backliner.

👎 LONGTOOTH

You’re a Monk. Why are you taking a race that gets a Bonus Action attack?

👍 SWIFTSTRIDE

Can be good to play keep-away, but I think I’d sooner play a race with higher base movement. You won’t trigger the Swiftstride reaction much.

👍 WILDHUNT

Advantage on Wisdom checks can be useful. Making enemies unable to hit you with Advantage however will come up incredibly rarely.

👎 WARFORGED

The AC boost is largely wasted on a backliner, and the race provides little else of value. Cool RP though.

👍 GITH

Githyanki and Githzerai

Elves that look like they wanna die

All they're about is how they clash

Been around 40 years and their lore's still trash

🌟 GITHYANKI

Like, your spells actually aren’t that shit? Mage Hand is always useful as is Misty Step, and Jump actually has some use for a Monk. (I mean, you also have the Fly spell but...) Add in some tools and languages and there’s actually a fairly compelling argument to play a Gith! I mean, assuming you actually want to play a Gith.

👎 GITHZERAI

Wisdom spellcasting! Thing is that Shield probably won’t be that useful overall and neither will Detect Thoughts. This just leaves you with Mage Hand and Mental Discipline that’s largely made redundant by Stillness of Mind at level 7.

🌟 CENTAUR

You’re trading 40 foot base movement for a slower climbing speed, but you’re going to gain the ability to fly so the poor climbing speed probably won’t matter much. The Fey classification and skill proficiencies also help so if you’re fine with the mental image of a centaur flying around like it’s DBZ.

👎 LOXODON

The natural armor trait is completely wasted as you’ll be using Monk Unarmored AC. That just leaves the trunk for punching, but you can easily let go of your bow for a moment to punch someone who got too close. Could be worth considering if your DM’s an ass with weapon swapping.

👎 MINOTAUR

Every singe trait is worthless for a Monk. Your class will provide you everything that this race would provide.

👎 SIMIC HYBRID

None of the animal enhancements are particularly useful. 

⭐ VEDALKEN

Same rating as gnomes because they’re basically just tall blue gnomes. Just play a gnome instead of a smurf.

⭐ VERDAN

Same rating as gnomes because they’re basically gnomes who heal more during short rests and have telepathic emotions. Losing out on Intelligence saves kinda sucks but rerolling 1s and 2s on hit die during Short Rests more than makes up for it.

🌟 DHAMPIR

Unlimited Spider Climb is rather interesting for a ranged character, and being able to increase the damage of your bite to get more value out of the empowerment features is a nice option to have if you’re forced into melee. Just make sure your DM has the same ideas about the bite as you.

⭐ HEXBLOOD

A once per Long Rest Hex might genuinely be worth it. Having Disguise Self and the Magic Token is also great for roleplay.

👍 REBORN

Knowledge from a Past Life can give you some out-of-combat utility and... well that’s about it really. If I wanted to be a skill monkey I’d play a Rogue.

👍 LOCATHA

Natural Armor is useless. Observant and Athletic is underwhelming. Leviathan Will however is still comedically overpowered. You can easily carry a tub of water with you and use your Four Elements powers to keep yourself wet.

👍 GRUNG

Poison can be moderately useful in the early game but it falls off massively late game. The need for water really isn’t a problem, but you’re trading a small (yet noticable) downside for a very small upside.

⭐ FAIRY (UA)

Flight and the Faerie Fire spell that can be cast with Wisdom. Nothing overly special but it’s certainly not bad.

⭐ OWLFOLK (UA)

Having Detect Magic as a ritual without being a spellcaster is very nice, and takes some of the stress off your casters. The real benefit however is Nimble Flight, which allows you to keep your height even if damaged. You do have Slow Fall of course so it’s not like Nimble Flight is saving you much.

👍 RABBITFOLK (UA)

I still don’t see much of value in this race. There’s nothing that would stop me from playing it but it just feels so underwhelming to me overall.

ABILITY SCORES

The big question you’re probably asking is if you should max Dexterity or Wisdom... Max Dexterity lol. You’re still a bow fighter first and foremost. Even if you have ready access to spellcasting you won’t be using it much, and a lot of the options you have available will do damage even if the enemy succeed on their saving throw.

DISCIPLINES

LEVEL 3

👎 Elemental Attunement

Prestidigitation, but worse! It’s not so much that this option is bad but rather that you have so few options to begin with spending one of your precious disciplines on glorified Prestidigitation feels like a joke. Ask your DM if you can just have the Prestidigitation cantrip (or more ideally the four elemental cantrips from EEPC) and get something else that’s more useful.

👎 Fangs of the Fire Snake

You have a bow.

⭐ Fist of Four Thunders (Thunderwave)

Actually not godawful as a get-off-me tool early on. The low Ki cost means that you can (hopefully) knock your target(s) back, shoot them, and then run with your increased Monk movement speed.

👍 Fist of Unbroken Air

The 30 foot range combined with the fact that it knocks the target prone makes this somewhat undesirable. It’s essentially 2 Ki points to fire an arrow that knocks the target back and knocks them prone. It can make for very good synergy with the melee characters in your party pre-Stunning Strike but by level 3 it costs over half your Ki to use it.

👍 Rush of the Gale Spirits (Gust of Wind)

Another decent get-off-me tool but there are so many other, better options. Honest to god when’s the last time you’ve seriously used Gust of Wind?

👍 Shape the Flowing River

Very fun and flavorful but your mileage will vary massively depending on where your campaign takes place and what your DM lets you get away with. If you’re playing Ghosts of Saltmarsh this is crazy good. If you’re in Descent into Avernus? Not so much.

👎 Sweeping Cinder Strike (Burning Hands)

Very low range. Fist of Four Thunders will probably get you more mileage as it’ll do AoE damage and give you space.

👍 Water Whip

Fist of Unbroken Air but you can choose to either pull them closer or knock them prone... Thing is you’re hardly ever going to want to pull them in closer as a ranged fighter.

LEVEL 6

✨ Clench of the North Wind (Hold Person)

“Why would you use this over Stunning Strike?” Because you’re in the backline with a bow, ya dummy! One of the main elemental disciplines you should be using in this build as you can’t just run up and Stunning Strike instead. It’s still extremely Ki inefficient but around level 9 you can spend 4 Ki points (half your Ki lol) to paralyze 2 people, which is kinda good? Like sure a Warlock could paralyze 4 people twice by that point with Hold Person but...

🌟 Gong of the Summit (Shatter)

A strong AoE option before you gain access to Flames of the Phoenix (IE Fireball.) By the point that you get Flames of the Phoenix that will almost always be better unless you’re fighting like, exclusively Monks and Rogues. But until then this is a great AoE option that leverages one of the few strengths of the Four Elements Monk.

LEVEL 11

✨ Flames of the Phoenix (Fireball)

It’s Fireball. Arguably one of the few Elemental Disciplines actually worth picking this subclass over. It’s a shame it comes online so late (by this point casters have 6th level spells) but it still manages to keep competetively viable when compared to the big spells.

👍 Mist Stance (Gaseous Form)

A decent escape tool in a very tense situation, but I’d sooner use the next option on this list.

✨ Ride the Wind (Fly)

The main ability you’re going to be using in this build; shame it comes online at level 11. Flight for any ranged build is extremely useful, and you can essentially cast flight twice on yourself at this point and up to 3 times in one level.

LEVEL 17

⭐ Breath of Winter (Cone of Cold)

A good AoE option but it’s hampered somewhat because it originates from your character, making it hard to position since you’re going to be running around with a bow.

👎 Eternal Mountain Defense (Stoneskin)

Oh boy I sure do love resistance to nonmagical damage at level 17.

⭐ River of Hungry Flame (Wall of Fire)

Big damage in a large, continual AoE that serves as a good capstone for a bad class.

👍 Wave of Rolling Earth (Wall of Stone)

This would be good if you didn’t get it by level 17. Most enemies are going to be able to break through it which makes what little utility it has completely pointless. But I mean at least it’s not Eternal Mountain Defense?

THEORETICAL ELEMENTAL DISCIPLINE BUILD

LEVEL 3

(Elemental Attunement)

Fist of Four Thunders

LEVEL 6

Fist of Four Thunders

Clench of the North Wind

Gong of the Summit

LEVEL 11

Fist of Four Thunders

Clench of the North Wind

Flames of the Phoenix

Ride the Wind

LEVEL 17

Fist of Four Thunders

Clench of the North Wind

Flames of the Phoenix

Ride the Wind

River of Hungry Flame

FEATS

I’m not going to go over every feat but I will mention ones to consider and ones to avoid. Remember that (especially as a Monk and especially as a Four Elements Monk) maxing out your Dexterity and Wisdom should be your top priority.

🌟 ALERT

You already have high DEX so going first would allow you to get Hold Person or Fly off and start shooting.

👎 CROSSBOW EXPERT

You may be tempted to use a crossbow for this build... don’t. If the Artificer got you a Repeating Crossbow that’s cool, but there’s no reason to use a Hand Crossbow in this build. (Especially since you likely won’t have the proficiency for it anyways.)

👎 CRUSHER

Normally a very good feat for Monks but it’s rendered vastly less useful since you’ll be primarily using a bow.

👎 ELVEN ACCURACY

Clench of the North Wind (Hold Person) will make you auto-crit anyways so there are better options available.

👍 FIGHTING INITIATE

+2 to hit from the Archery Fighting Style isn’t worth losing an ASI.

⭐ MAGIC INITIATE

I actually wouldn’t be against MI (Druid) for Guidance, Druidcraft, and Healing Word. Shillelagh unfortunately isn’t as good for you since you need DEX for the bow, and since your Elemental Disciplines are technically “casting” spells you can’t cast Healing Word after using one of them.

👎 MOBILE

You have a bow. Extra movement speed is nice but everything else is largely wasted, especially since you have Elemental Disciplines to give yourself space.

🌟 PIERCER

If you have an uneven DEX score this should be the feat you take. Clench of the North Wind (Hold Person) gives you autocrits which makes the x3 damage from Piercer insanely valuable.

⭐ RESILIENT (CON)

You do need to concentrate on your Elemental Disciplines, and while you are more capable of avoiding damage than most (thanks mostly to Deflect Missiles) you can still easily lose your Concentration. If you can afford the ASI it’s more than worth it.

✨ SHARPSHOOTER

If you’re asking if Sharpshooter is worth it the answer is always yes. It’s not just the damage but the range and ability to ignore cover. I’d probably max my DEX first but at level 12 (Starting at 17 with Standard Array: Lvl 4 Piercer feat > Lvl 8 +2 DEX) I’d take Sharpshooter over a Wisdom increase, as you are still a bow fighter first and foremost.

👎 WAR CASTER

Advantage on Concentration is nice but everything else largely goes to waste, especially since you likely won’t be in range to provoke opportunity attacks anyways. Opt for Resilient (CON) instead.

CONCLUSION

Just play a Warlock, Druid, or Eldritch Knight lol. No matter how you look at it the Four Elements Monk simply scales too slowly and uses up too much Ki to be considered viable.

With that being said: if you’re fine with being subpar in comparison to your peers this build isn’t bad for play between Tier 2 and Tier 3 (from level 6 to around level 14.) You can still leverage the general strengths of the Monk class (Deflect Missiles, Evasion, high movement speed) without facing as many of the class’ inherent weaknesses thanks to the range provided by a shortbow.

Yes you could accomplish the same thing with a Kensei Monk, Shadow Monk, or even Mercy Monk but you get to play a unique fun class with this build. Just maybe ask your DM if you can get more Ki...

[antics-pedantic]

MUTANT MEDIA CLUB: Cyber-Chump

For those who saw glory in the digital world, the Coalition for Generated Imagery was the group to go to. And there was no one more skillful than Null Node. Their hair was a bright red, eyes glowing golden from the cybernetic implants there. And of course, they sported a cool long, dark coat and half-finger gloves. Everyone in the C.G.I. just really dug cyberpunk. And I do emphasize the “punk” aspect, as members of the C.G.I. were working folks in the areas of programming, mechanical engineering, and hologram-putting-together tasks. 

Today, Null Node had managed to get a working build together for a new game they had been working on. The prototype title for the time being was something to the tune of “Danger in the DMV,” a short role-playing game meant to illustrate the utter agony of having to do much of anything at the department of motor vehicles. It was a passion project, so it didn’t pay nearly as much as the 3D animation work Null and some others did for Triumph Studios on some of their sci-fi/fantasy programming. But it was a labor of love they worked on at their own pace, and not on crunch time that demanded days, nights, and minimal bathroom breaks.

“How’s the game coming along, Null?” asked Volcanicook, owner of the tropical-themed “Magma Munchies” food truck, as she served up the cyberpunk a styrofoam container of fresh hot food. She was a mutant who had a literal volcano sticking out of her head.

“Finally got some irritating assets to work. At this rate I’ll be able to have as few bugs as possible. Then the real challenge will be plugging the game online.”

“Hey, make a promo post and I’ll rebagel it. From my personal and my company accounts!” said Vcook. “I’ve been so hyped to play your next release! That last one—“Parkour Granddad” was great. Vertical gameplay coupled with a challenging, but not impossible puzzle system? Loved it!”

“Ah… I don’t know if Danger in the DMV will be as mechanically complex. The plot is pretty bare bones.” said Null Node. But Volcanicook would hear none of it.

“Null Node, you look me in the eyes and tell me makin’ some fries is less important than grilling up a whole order.”

“But the fries are just a side, Vcook. Not a main course.”

“But nothin’!” scoffed Volcanicook. “Sometimes people just want some fries. Not a whole thing. Don’t feel like you gotta put out a big spread every time. Just focus on trying to bring your visions to life as best you can. Bugs are to be expected! You can work them out later if you really gotta. Besides, it doesn’t help that you’re busting your rump on all those more lucrative jobs.”

Null Node could only offer a hushed thanks to Volcanicook before they departed. That was a lot to think about. So much thinking about the nature of creation versus merely churning out content that the cyberpunk failed to notice the whirring of a lawn mower engine. A few jerks in homemade power armor had blocked both directions of the sidewalk Null Node was on. 

“Shell Gamers!” gasped Null Node, brandishing a tactical katana from within their long coat. “What do you greaseballs want?!”

“We want payback.” said one of the Shell Gamers. “Our sector lieutenant literally wants his money back after buying one of your stupid artsy fartsy games.”

“But the game is free with a “pay what you want” option.”

“Shut up! Get ready for a jump, boys!”

The Shell Gamers charged at Null Node. With a swipe of their sword, Null was able to scare them into ducking for cover. That gave the cyberpunk a chance to rush off into an alleyway. The Shell Gamers couldn’t follow Null Node up a fire escape ladder unless they took off their clunky armor. The smug Null Node was halfway up to the roof before a window opened up in front of them, a Shell Gamer pulling the cyberpunk into the apartment, where the Shell Gamer slapped a spaghetti strainer onto Null’s head. The colander hat was covered in little devices and a whole mess of wires that let off sparks.

And then Null Node passed out.

X

“Hey. Are they awake?”

“Buzz off, I’m not checking unless I find a stick to poke ‘em with.”

“Scrapsap, c’mon!” 

Null Node came to a start slowly: There was a rusty robot, and some raven-haired guy in a pair of glasses and a bowling shirt bickering all the while. It appeared that they were in a gritty alien environment—the interior of a ship or base. Did the Shell Gamers send them all off to space or something? 

“Hey. Hey. Can we maybe take five seconds—minutes rather, and speak freely?”

“What? Oh yeah. I’m Scrapsap.” said the robot, mechanically extending an arm to shake hands with Null Node. “The geek here’s CLERK.”

“It’s CLARK!” spat the man. “Clark Raut, at your service.”

“Hey, I know you. From that talk show-- Speakeasy Station, right?” said Null Node, shaking Clark’s hand as well.

“Wow. Are you one of the many who send me death threats to read aloud on the show?”

Null Node shook their head.

“What? No. I like your livestream. Your critiques and skits are great too. But that does explain why those Shell Gamers brought you here. You must have dissed their favorite… I dunno. Movie? Game? Comic?”

“I diss a lot of things.”

Clark seemed to light up a little at the thought of having an audience that wasn’t hostile towards him, even grinning at Scrapsap, who was fishing for a five-dollar bill: Scrapsap had made a bet that the next person who had seen Clark’s show would be one of his many enemies. Fortunately, Null Node was a friend.

“But why would they kidnap a robot?” asked Null Node.

“I think they’re jealous of my tremendous appeal. Being that I kick ass and I’m so beautiful.” suggested Scrapsap. “And those Shell Gamers are… uh. They’re wet socks. Haw haw!”

“Damn.” said Null Node, looking to Clark. Both were nodding. “What a mystery. Let’s focus on getting out of here.”

The three wandered around the place for a while, trying to find their way out. Scrapsap had come across some sort of strange pad on the ground beside a ledge. In spite of Null Node and Clark’s best attempts to pull the robot away, Scrapsap proceeded to hop onto the pad, which increased his jumping power many times over, and launched him in an arc over to a hovering platform across the chasm before them. 

“Hey look!” shouted Scrapsap, holding up a set of upper body armor. “Somebody left their stupid football gear here.”

As Scrapsap said that, a shot rang out. An emerald-hued energy bolt of tremendous power proceeded to lay waste to Scrapsap. Mostly in that Scrapsap was so startled by the blast (which he could have survived), and then backed up off the edge of the platform he stood on, to fall into the abyss. Clark was screaming, Null Node panicking albeit in a more silent fashion. 

“Sup, boners.”

With a “BYUA!” sound and a burst of purple light, Scrapsap reappeared beside the cyberpunk and the self-styled critic.

“Scraps! How’d you survive that?!” exclaimed Clark. Scrapsap just shrugged, then pointed and laughed at Clark.

“Heck if I know! But I totally saw you blubbering over my DEATH.”

“I didn’t’!” lied Clark. “But… you’re right here. You clearly got teleported out.”

Null Node blinked. They had realized what was going on.

“No, he did die, Clark. He just respawned!”

And then in that moment, some kind of ancient intercom system began to blare. Words, no less!

“PEOPLE ARE A RESOURCE!” came a voice. “AND JUST LIKE RESOURCES THEY NEED TO BE MINED. SO THAT OTHERS CAN LIVE, IN A BETTER TOMORROW…”

“Is he talking about US?!” cried Clark. 

“AND I’M GONNA DO A LOT OF MINING. A LOOOOT. OF REDSTONE MINING—”

But the voice segued into rambling and laughter.

“I think. I think he kinda lost it there at the end.” said Null Node. “We gotta get out of here.”

The three started to sprint. Behind them were stray shots from the one trying to snipe them. Until at last, that figure appeared before them: With a white coat and tie, plus some pasta strainers and bowls that made up a helmet and shoulder pads.

“It’s the health inspector of the future: Judge Bread!”

“That’s RIGHT you UNCOOKED TURKEYS!” exclaimed Judge Bread.

“But why would a health inspector play video games?!” cried Clark.  

“It helps me pass the time until I am needed once more to deliver verdicts and damn the UNHYGIENIC!” gurgle-screeched Judge Bread. “You’ve been found to be unacceptably filthy in both exterior and your inside thoughts and feelings, how do you plea?”

Scrapsap made a fart noise and dived for cover with Null Node. That left Clark to get fragged by Judge Bread. Of course, when Clark respawned, he looked mortified.

“What is it, Clark?!” said Null Node.

“That dingbat Scrapsap didn’t tell us there’s a scoreboard!”

“It doesn’t matter!” shouted Scrapsap. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!”

“It does! The only way to win is if we score high enough.” said Clark. “And Scrapsap is at -1! You and I are at 0!”

For revealing that Scrapsap had the lowest score, the robot tried to extend his arms over to punch his companion into oblivion, knowing Clark could just respawn. Null Node slapped everyone aside at last.

“Then we gotta grab some weapons and score enough to get out of here! Those Shell Gamers must be around here in this digital warzone. I say we meet them head-on and punch our tickets that way.”

“And we’ll pay the toll… in hot lead!” spat Clark. “Alright. Scrapsap can go use his extendo arms to grab us some guns. Let’s you and me try to distract Judge Bread.”

Clark was the first out of cover. Null Node not far off. The two split off in different directions to keep their opponent busy while Scrapsap sought weapons. It seemed they had all started off unarmed, and all the other players around had gotten the jump on them. 

For Null Node it was surprisingly quiet for a while. They assumed Clark had kept Judge Bread sufficiently distracted. At least they did until they ran into Bread, who was currently experiencing the phenomenon known as “lag,” as the health inspector’s wireless fidelity took a massive drop. Before Null Node could escape, Judge Bread’s movement was corrected, and he lagged no longer.

“Testing. Testing.” said Judge Bread out loud. “Am I still lagging?”

“You’re good now I think.” said Null Node, before slapping themselves upside the head. This surely meant Judge Bread could finish them off. While Null Node backed up, Clark observed the events from a vantage point, and began foraging for something to defeat Judge Bread with, before jumping down.

“Ow, shit!” cursed Clark, taking slight fall damage. “Your honor, wait! You CAN’T shoot Null Node, because you WON’T BE ABLE to shoot Null Node, because—”

“Spit it out, boy!” hissed Judge Bread. But soon, Judge Bread was enamored with what Clark offered in exchange for Null Node’s life: a bottle of mouthwash. Judge Bread was notorious as the most dedicated of health inspectors, and he was practically shaking with delight at the sight of an item that could improve the thing he valued most.

“H-H-HYGIENE!”

Clark put the bottle on the ground and kicked it over to Judge Bread. Judge Bread took the bottle frantically, before shuffling away. 

“How did you find mouthwash in what I can only assume is a modded late 1990’s first-person-shooter game?” asked Null Node. 

“They did a promotional thing with the dental health company where the in-game armor pick-ups were mouthwash. I was able to exploit it using console commands.”

“And that’ll be the LAST time you cheat, CLARK.” came the booming voice again. 

“But is it really cheating if he just… re-skinned something?” said Null Node, pointing out that factoid. The booming voice just groaned.

“Ugh! Whatever. Just go to the CENTRAL OBELISK once you have enough points. And then in the POWER DOME, we will decide who games and who games NOT!”

Clark scratched his head.

“I think that clown knows you from somewhere.”

Null Node tried desperately to recollect who they might have antagonized in the past to deserve such treatment. Then reconsidered, as Shell Gamers would antagonize people over the slightest thing. It didn’t even have to be a major personal beef with someone else. Just purchasing the wrong color headphones or liking a video game they hated was enough to mark even the gentlest soul as a target. 

“Hey, quit brooding.” said Scrapsap. “I got us some guns.”

“We’re not brooding!”

Null Node was up first. They picked out a shotgun. Or something very much like a shotgun, it seemed to shoot lightning bolts in lieu of a spread of buckshot from shells. Scrapsap was carrying something resembling the model of carpet cleaner one could rent from a store, steam still rising fresh from its firing barrel. And then Clark was armed with a rocket launcher, but its ammunition seemed to consist of ball-peen hammers.

Now armed, the three stood back-to-back. Null Node had figured on navigating every corridor and crevice they could squeeze into, avoiding the more heated players and picking off novice stragglers to build up their points. At least, until the stragglers disconnected from the match in frustration. Soon, only the best players remained. 

“We’ve gotta make it to twenty points—where are we all at? I think I’m just about at 19.” said Null Node. “One more and I can go take on the Shell Gamer that put us here.” 

“I’m at 17.” said Clark with a sigh. “I got clipped a couple times back there and didn’t say. I’m sorry, Null. I might not be able to get out of here.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m at like 15.” said Scrapsap. “I keep falling off platforms. If you’re gonna be stuck here, you’re stuck with me too. And I’m gonna destroy everybody else. Because I wanna destroy you MYSELF Clark.”

“I’ll get you first, you rustbucket.” said Clark. “Regardless, even if we can’t get our points up we’ll at least distract some of the higher level players enough to let you do some damage.”

Null Node offered a small smile. But then they looked to their shotgun and shook their head.

“We should split up now. I’ll see you two by the Central Obelisk soon enough.”

X

Scrapsap felt quite safe wielding that gargantuan rental carpet cleaner weapon. There was absolutely nothing that could go wrong so long as he had his superior firepower, and nerves of literal steel. Or so he might have claimed: Scrapsap was actually very incredibly afraid he’d never be able to get out of this game. Forced to play with utter dweebazoids for time immemorial. 

Just then, the sound of a duck ‘quack!’ went off, and Scrapsap turned to aim: He’d spotted a Shell Gamer using some kind of ray gun to turn people into a duck.

“Oh no way, you got the Morph-O-Ray!” exclaimed Scrapsap. 

“What? No, it’s only the Quack-O-Ray, dum-dum.” said the Shell-Gamer. “The Sheepinator and the Chicken one are separate weapons.”

“Not as of the update. There’s a trick for it with the uh, the mouse-wheel and stuff. Here, try it.”

The Shell Gamer mulled it over for a while, before finally switching out weapons. Scrapsap nudged the Shell Gamer into doing so, before loudly ordering the Shell Gamer to fire right away. Which ended up launching a grenade that ate away at the Shell Gamer’s health, and then Scrapsap scurried over to punch them. When the Shell Gamer respawned, Scrapsap just gestured defensively.

“Whoa, go easy on me here: I thought you turned on me! Anyways you didn’t time it right. You gotta do it more like this, real fast but then back and forth. It takes a few tries, so don’t feel ashamed.”

“I’m not ashamed, I’ll prove I can do it and that you’re just a crappy teacher and player!”

After the rinse came the repeat, and Scrapsap scored another point.

“Good try, real close.” said Scrapsap, as they tried a couple more times. But rather than get angry, the Shell Gamer seemed kind of dejected.

“Thanks for being so patient with me, robot guy. My boss wouldn’t cut me nearly as much slack…”

“What? He sounds like a tool.” said Scrapsap, looking to see that his score was up to twenty points and he could easily progress. “C’mon, forget this lousy exploit. Let’s go micspam meme songs at people so they get annoyed. You deserve it.”

“Wow. Thanks!”

“Oh, and feel free to trash talk your boss all the while, I ain’t no snitch.”

“Funny you say that. So just before we started this whole scheme—"

X

Volcanicook was back at her truck, wondering where Clark and Scrapsap were at. Along with her current sweetheart, the half-crocodile cursed comedian called Lounge Lizard, they had formed a sort of friend group with a catchy name. The kind of name that would make for a great series title, or a larger franchise someday. Though they were hardly the only ones in the entertainment business—and as mutants at that, this motley crew saw fit to call themselves the Mutant Media Club. With the writer’s satisfaction at the in-universe title drop, the misadventure continues:

“Hey Vcook! Check THIS out.” exclaimed LL. The comedian was wearing a pair of roller blades, struggling to maintain balance. “Scraps promised we’d go to the roller skating rink. Wanna come with? I bet I can get us free food and stuff if I fake an injury!”

“Sure. But LL, have you looked at the time? Scrapsap and Clark have been gone a while. Come to think of it, I saw some Shell Gamers laughing it up about Null Node…”

Lounge Lizard gestured for Volcanicook to wait a moment, before pulling out their phone. Rather than look at the digital clock, LL was instead distracted by a text.

“Hey, Vcook. Go play Half-Quake.”

“LL. Muddy buddy. I know business is slow, but I should probably keep the truck going a little longer—”

“HALF-QUAKE PRONTO, MY VESUVIAN DARLING!”

Gesturing for Lounge Lizard to slow down, Vcook went to pull up a laptop she kept with her more personal non-cooking things in the truck. Once she booted up the game, Lounge Lizard was failing miserably to board the truck, slowed down by the roller blades they had yet to master.

“Here’s the server address. Do you see ‘em?” asked LL, throwing the phone into the truck.

“Not as well as I’d like,” said Vcook, rubbing one eye and picking up the projectile phone that landed in her lap after collision with her face. “But yeah: I see Scrapsap and some Shell Gamer being friendly. Clark’s sprinting through a hallway rabidly firing the Ball-Peen Hammer Bazooka in a bid for survival. Null Node’s not far off…”

And then Volcanicook got into the game as well, using her familiarity with the arena to obtain an oversized glue gun. It was like a large hose attached to a backpack loaded with the stuff, and she was proceeding to use it to entrap other players. Fighting her way towards her friends.

X

Clark was running for his life, but what else was new?

The ball-peen hammer bazooka was almost useful. He fired it low to the ground, and the hammers would bounce around in wide swinging arcs that took some health and armor points away from his opponents. But it wasn’t enough: He had to hurry and find a more direct weapon. 

The first sight of a pad emitting a hologram duplicate of a machine gun was halfway promising. Save for the fact the weapon pad needed a moment to manifest a solid copy, as indicated by a hovering circular loading bar. Clark tapped his foot impatiently, wondering when it would finally be ready. 

“C’mon, can’t you go any faster?!”

Just then, there was a small blinking red light: On the edge of the pad was a coin slot, with an insert for entire dollar bills as well. A handy infographic demonstrated that depending on the payment provided, it would make the whole thing go faster. A quarter would take off a second or two, a whole dollar would go halfway through, and for ten dollars it would completely disregard the duration. An added sticker also suggested that for twenty dollars or more, the weapon could receive exclusive skins for the in-game model, the price ever-rising. The only other way to attain them seemed to be via randomized loot boxes, or through a nigh-impossible amount of grunt work in the game that few had the free time to achieve.

“Wow! This STINKS!”

“No KIDDING!”

Clark nearly jumped out of his pixelated skin at the sight of his opponent: It was Judge Bread. 

“This wasn’t the deal, Bread. I gave you the mouthwash.”

“And it was good, for all its digitized worth.” rinsed and spat Judge Bread, putting the bottle away. “I blasted a few punks on the way here, came to give you my spare laser pistol.”

Clark had nowhere to leap to if Judge Bread was fooling with him. But sure enough, the health inspector was kicking over a weapon as promised. 

“… Why would you help me?” said Clark. “Won’t this prevent you from winning the match?”

Judge Bread scoffed.

“There’ll be other matches. Other weekends. But an upstanding young man like yourself is rare. You and I are both very critical of the world around us. And we share an affinity for mint flavored things. When the day comes that I can no longer harshly PAN a fool like a fresh hot LOAF, I will need a successor who can really stick it to these dirtbags and make them feel bad for liking things-- Hey! No need to start shooting at me yet. Just give it some thought. Here’s my card.”

Clark ceased firing frantically and took the card as Judge Bread dived back into the fray. The health inspector left Clark a few easy targets rack up points with—and Clark, not wanting to waste this opportunity, fired away. He could rejoin Scrapsap and Null Node up ahead. 

But at what cost? Was he doomed to be a nitpicking nuisance like Judge Bread? And worst of all, to eventually become like him? As cool as it would have been to shoot guns and be some sort of action hero, it was toeing the space beyond the line Clark walked, between being a mediocre schmuck and the descent into noise pollution and disturbing public peace to rant about meaningless details. He wanted to be heard though, inspire thought, and encourage analysis of the components that made up the media everyone consumed.

For now, he’d have to settle for having a blaster and supporting his friends.

X

Null Node had gotten up to twenty points. He was at the central obelisk, or whatever it was that their opponent had designated the point of their final battle. Ahead, Null could see a building of pillars and archways, in the olden Roman style. There in the shadows stood a figure in that homemade power armor. 

“Do you remember?” asked the Shell Gamer who masterminded this entire operation. “Have you figured out the mystery yet?”

“No, you’ve given me no hints or clues whatsoever.” said Null Node. “There’s no possible way anyone could come to a reasonable conclusion based on available information. Haven’t you ever seen a decent detective story in your life?”

“What-- forget it, alright. I’ll simply tell you, fool…”

The figure stepped out of the shadows. 

“I’m Shell Gamer #544. Colby. We went to video game programming camp together in middle school.”

Null Node had to stop and think about it. They were almost certifiably convinced Colby was just making this up for dramatic effect. But Null Node had to try! Null reached within the depths of their mind, using the full capability of their compu-power cybernetics to fire synapses and neurons and-- 

No, wait. Null Node remembered Colby now. The kid that kept bumming everyone else for their coding work. Actually, Colby did that during computer science class in high school and into college. There was never a stretch of time that Null Node wasn’t forced to acknowledge Colby’s existence. Colby was just such a rude jerk that everyone made an active attempt to forget about him. In Null Node’s case it nearly worked up until now that Colby had become a Shell Gamer. 

“Screw you. You couldn’t come up with an original idea or line of code to program it to save your life.”

“Yeah, but I’m still getting jobs.” sneered Colby. “With Triple-A game studios that make ultra-graphics masterpieces. You’re just a bunch of pretentious art snobs who don’t live in the REAL world.”

“Only because you basically sabotaged and robbed the efforts of everyone around you.” said Null Node. “And shut up, it doesn’t matter how great the graphics are or how realistic the gameplay is. None of that matters if people don’t enjoy what they’re playing. Whether it’s all play, a story being told as only an interactive medium can allow, or who knows what.”

“%$&# off. It’s time to end this.”

Null Node was going to draw their gun, but Colby had like ten or so other guys show up next to him. A few Shell Gamers, but mostly stragglers bought off with the promise of randomized loot crates. Gunslinging gamblers hired to make this fight unfair. Null Node looked around to try and find Clark and Scrapsap, but they were yet to arrive. Null didn’t blame them if they ditched, or couldn’t get their scores up in time. 

“Open the crates first.”

Null Node perked up at the sound of Clark’s voice as he walked into view. The Shell Gamers scowled, but their hired guns paused. 

“What do you mean? They’ve promised us high chance tyrian purple loot boxes. That’s a guarantee we’ll get good stuff. We even saw the loot boxes in their inventories.”

“It’s still a roll, cowboy.” retorted Clark. “You wanna risk your scores and reputation on a variable payment? We made it to twenty points. If we got to this final showdown, there’s a chance you might walk away with nothing, or earnings less than nothing. Every damn one of you will be made fools of.”

Just then, the gamblers turned their weapons on the fewer Shell Gamers.

“What is this?! Don’t let that geek tell you what’s what!” exclaimed Colby. “We know these games. We’re the Shell GAMERS.”

But the guns were still turned on them. 

“I may be a cutthroat sellsword of the digital realm, but I’m proud of how much time I put into this game to get where I am level-wise.” said one of the gambler-gunslingers. “Let’s go, posse. Greater glory and prizes await us in another server.”

The gunslinger-gamblers disconnected from the match. It evened the odds a bit. But it was still two against five. Clark had his hand over his side-- not actually wearing a holster, he just wanted to feel like the star of a spaghetti western movie, about to whip out a pistol from the holster. Waiting for Null Node, or the Shell Gamers to start firing. When the shooting started, there was a shock to be had.

Volcanicook had used her gluethrower to stick them all in place! All save for the fleeing Colby. Scrapsap and the reformed Shell Gamer came sprinting in, playing a musical mash-up of “YMCA” and “Highway to Hell” that left them all terrified. 

“Go ahead!” said Vcook. “We’ll handle these crumbs!”

Null Node just nodded, as Lounge Lizard appeared nearby, gator-sharp teeth clamped onto a foe’s exposed arm. Before they left, LL threw Null Node their favorite tactical katana.

“You dropped this back in the meatspace!” said LL. “Give ‘em HELL!”

Null just grinned, offering thanks before running after Colby. The two were eventually face to face on a bridge that spun away from the rest of the arena, to the point they couldn’t jump off without falling into a pit below.

“So, this is how it ends?” said Null Node.

“With you dying. And crying.”

“I can only do the latter before the former.”

Colby scowled.

“Don’t try to confuse me! Die!”

“Or should I cry first?”

“ERRAAAAUGH!!”

It was a war waged to the last. The two running every which way, jumping around to exploit movement glitches that would grant them greater velocity. Shots from their collected array of weapons went in every direction. And then the fact that the both of them weren’t really all that good at competitive arena shooter games became quite apparent as they continuously failed to hit each other, only occasionally scoring a lucky bit of damage every now and then as they frantically lashed out at one another. 

Until finally, Colby seemed to disconnect from the match abruptly. The arena around them began to crumble, as players scrambled to become the new host of the match before it all fell apart. And since the three unwilling participants were ported into the game by the Shell Gamers, they started to crumble too. 

“NO!” exclaimed Lounge Lizard. “FART MCMUFFIN, GRAB MY PAW!”

Clark reached out to grab his friend’s hand, but upon successfully gaining a hold and preventing the crumbling process, Lounge Lizard and Clark high-fived, which released Clark to his fate. Scrapsap laughed, reaching over with an extending robo-arm. But his mistake had been thinking a low-five would fare any different. 

And then Null Node woke up in a leather recliner seat, forcing off an oxygen mask that was also hooked up to an IV drip of Mountain Dew. Clark was not far off, emerging from a similar setup. On top of their “life” support technology, they were given virtual reality goggles. As for Scrapsap, he had just been plugged in via a USB or HDMI cable port into the master computer, where Colby sat. 

“The--the jig is up, Colby.” sputtered Null Node. “You’re outnumbered.”

“Give it up Gameboy, you don’t stand a chance.” said a dizzy Clark. “Why did they mess with the color contrast on my VR set?... eugh.”

Scrapsap was still powering back on. Colby turned his office chair to face them.

“You fools. Did you think my intention was to trap you inside the game forever?”

Clark squinted his eyes.

“That chart on the wall detailing the phases of your evil plan seems to confirm that for us.”

“What? No.” said Colby, tearing the paper chart off. “It’s just a bonus of my larger plan. Shut up. My real plan was to use you chumps as free beta testers for my Half-Quake mods and VR setup. Once I get this to the department heads, they’ll be thrilled! I’ll earn a king’s ransom!”

Clark separated Scrapsap from the USB cord that kept him in place. The three were running to grab whatever they could-- fire extinguishers, chairs, anything that they could physically utilize to destroy the place. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you: We’ll sue your pants off if any company machinery is damaged! After all: Triumph Electronic is the interactive software subsidiary of Triumph Studios. A larger organization YOU assholes still work for!”

Clark still held up the folding chair he’d found. Scrapsap was swinging his arms like windmills. Null Node held the fire extinguisher in hand. Though none discarded their improvised weapons, they could tell that retaliation would not come this day. 

“So… we can leave, right?” said Clark.

“I actually can’t stop you now in that regard, so yeah.” sneered Colby. “But in all your years to come, in your most private moments, you’ll remember this moment. Like, you’ll be in a shower and then you’ll just get haunted by the memory. That you were BETA beta testers, and I am an ALPHA male!”

“You realize that David Mech, who originally suggested the concept of Alpha male animal pack leaders in his 1970 book "The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species," has long since disproven?” pointed out Clark. “Mech himself came back in a 1999 paper to say wolves don’t fight for dominance but instead split off from the pack to form new ones and rule them because they’re parents leading their pups? Not to mention, the concept was actually first believed to have been observed in female chickens--”

“This is why no one likes you.” said Colby. “Get out of here already. I’m gonna get paid. Go whine about it online.”

“Colby’s a loser, let’s get out of here.” said Scrapsap, giving Clark a pat on the back and waving Null Node over to follow. As they exited the building, they could see the Magma Munchies truck in the distance coming to give them all a ride home.

“I can’t believe it. He won.” sighed Null Node.

“We don’t know that! Maybe his boss will call him a dingus and say the idea sucks. And fire him. And throw eggs at his house.”

“Scrapsap’s actually right for once. There’s no guarantee that Colby’s Mountain Dew life-support system will succeed. And even if it does we can point and laugh at it. Maybe I’ll make a video essay about how much it bites.”

Null Node tried to smile a bit at the thought. 

“Hey, I told Volcanicook but.. I don’t think I got to mention my newest project to you and Scrapsap. It’s called ‘Danger in the DMV,’ I think you’d like it…”

“Clever name! Tell us more?”

“I hate going to the DMV, it’s so time-consuming and stuff.” said Scrapsap. “Does your game capture the agony of waiting in line and taking a photo on the spot for your driver’s license?”

“That and more, Scraps.” said Null Node. “That and more.”

THE END… FOR NOW

[mysweetgirl2-love]

Livestream~ (corpse_husband x reader)

Alright, I’ve skipped ahead a few prompts because I’ve been just too excited to write out this idea and I was falling behind... so I will be going back, but I’ve skipped to my day 9 prompt. Slight (SLIGHT) exhibition. To reiterate the title, this is a oneshot about you and Corpse. I want to just say that this Corpse is him as a character and not him as a person. Think of a “fanon” version of some sorts. I know that the real Corpse is a very private person (obviously) and I would hate for him to be uncomfortable if he were to ever find this. I am really just writing this for comfort and the enjoyment of others. So, without further ado, enjoy!

Word Count: 5,958

Day 9 - Exhibition (Implied)

“Yo! YO! It’s Corpse! It’s fucking Corpse, holy shit-“

“What? Literally how?”

“I- fucking- I saw you legit go into electrical with pewds, leave, for me to then go up and find his body right next to the vent.”

“He was doing the upload task, I think, cuz’ I left him there when he was alive. You definitely self-reported.”

“Toast, you gotta believe me, it’s fucking Corpse.”

The arguments while playing this game were some of the most frustrating and yet exciting conversations you’d had in ages. Especially when it came down to the final two. That was the jackpot.

“Ah… nah, Fable, you’ve been super sus this entire round. There’s no way you did card swipe that quickly-“

“WHAT?!”

The two dings from your headset indicated that the remaining players had voted which only left you. Since Toast didn’t believe you, Corpse had this round in the bag. God. Damnit.

“Fucking- Fine. Thank god for your detective skills, Toast,” You grumbled bitterly, pouting on camera as you voted for the black avatar. Corpse’s avatar.

“You’re just mad that I figured you out..” The streamer teased, you rolling your eyes in response to his unmatched “knowledge.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally… Corpse is just too fucking good at this game, I swear to god,” You continued, definitely a little irritated that the match turned on you so fast.

It didn’t help when all you could do was helplessly watch from the other side of the screen as your purple avatar launched out into space. Oh well, it was over.

“Heh… I’m just glad you admit it,” The deep voice filled your headphones making you roll your eyes.

The screen suddenly darkened, a red gleam appearing as two characters stood next to one another. Spedicey and, who would’ve guessed, Corpse. Shocking.

“What?!” Toast exclaims.

“I can’t BELIEVE you didn’t think it was him!” Lily speaks up.

“You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Toast,” Felix almost groans, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Seriously…” You comment, smirking slightly at the groan of confusion from the man in question.

“What? Fable, you were so sus that entire round!” Toast stressed, your headphones filling with laughter as you clicked to play again.

“What do you mean?! I Iegit just scanned my card and you’re trying to call me on it! For NO good reason!” You retorted, wanting to facepalm so hard.

“I didn’t think you could do it that fast!” He yelled back, “I thought you were faking it, there was no way!”

“The only one who really struggles with card swipe here is Corpse,“ Jack cut in, you erupting in laughter at his words.

“What?- Uh- Come on, don’t do me like that…” He essentially growled into the mic, your arms erupting with goosebumps at the sound of him once again.

“That’s not true either! Jack, you know how hard card swipe is!” Valkarae stood up for the deep spoken imposter, “…but you guys both won anyway. So, whatever…”

You all simply laughed along with one another at that, the frustration fading as you mentally prepared yourself for another round of this thought-provoking game. Or… so you thought.

“Hey, can we actually hold off for a second? I need to use the bathroom-“ Lily asked, you smiling at how gentle her voice always was.

A stark contrast to the one that followed.

“Yeah, same here. Gamer bladder,” Corpse followed.

You shook your head at the later comment, clearing your throat as before leaning in towards your mic, “So, 5 minute break then?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good!”

“Sure, I’ll just be here.”

Felix, Rae, and Jack responded.

“…Sykunno?” You asked, having not heard his voice in awhile.

“He left to use the bathroom after he finished his tasks in the last round, texted me saying something about getting a snack,” Toast replied for him, you nodding to no one in particular but your chat.

“Got it,” You pressed the mute button for discord and turned to your face cam, “Guess I’ll run to the restroom as well, stay tuned!”

You clicked a few things to allow an ad to run across your stream, labeling it for around four minutes before reaching for your headphones. You placed them on your desk and sighed, leaning back in your chair.

You heard the door in the hallway open, smiling gently to yourself before standing from the chair. You turned towards your own closed door, taking the appropriate amount of steps to open it before peaking around the doorway.

“Hm…” You walked out slightly, turning towards the closed bathroom door and smirking before creeping out of your room and over to his.

Corpse’s room. Your boyfriend.

You and Corpse had started seeing each other a month or two into quarantine during the pandemic. Having known each other a year or two from both of your professions bringing you together under the circumstances, it seemed appropriate.

He was a real-life horror story teller, taking people’s information by email and anonymously telling their tales. You? You told mythologies of all kinds through your own renditions of the stories with art. You also managed to make the stories more light hearted and funny with a few jokes now and then, and people seemed to appreciate the humor you found in some of the topics.

Your channel name had always been Fantasized Fables, a little odd but it got your content across. Since your channel hit, your name was no secret but people liked calling you Fable.

You honestly thought it made you sound a lot more badass than you actually were.

Either way, somehow you got connect through a couple of friends and instantly clicked. Corpse was… well, Corpse. You didn’t know that you’d helped him so much when he actually told you what was going on. The endless nights where you would both be up at an ungodly hour and just dm-ing one another. It started after a few nights you both saw each other online, quickly progressing into something much bigger than that.

It got deep all the time. You both had so many thoughts about life and each other’s and your own… you felt so safe when telling this faceless internet friend all your deepest, darkest thoughts. But, you knew Corpse had more. He always told you more, you almost wanted more to comfort him over. The feelings started to fester and grow… there was no stopping how you felt about him.

The day you two actually met was never going to be forgotten, by either of you. It was unintentional, almost straight from a movie. You had, at this point, exchanged contact information and had been now calling for the majority of May. Not to mention, you both found out you lived in SoCal, only progressing  On this particular afternoon, you texted him that you were going on a coffee run to Starbucks… him saying he was going out for the first time as well.

Masked up and muffled, you of course could tell it was his voice from across the street. The slightly amplified “oh fuck” was the biggest giveaway you could’ve imagined. Your eyes looking up to find a man, dressed in complete black, chains and earrings, shaggy black hair- there was so doubt in your mind.

You called his name, his eyes looking up to find yours across the way… traffic laws weren’t going to stop the saint up to him and into his arms. A big, long, well-deserved embraced you knew the both of you needed. He had always been so kind… and gentle… him being physically there was just so… relieving.

The rest is history, and you honestly moved into his apartment as quickly as you could. You couldn’t stand him living alone like that anymore, and he obviously let you in without a second thought.

You both were extremely happy to have each other, and it just kept getting better from there.

You gently shut the door behind you, creeping over to his setup and sliding into his chair, humming softly as you watched the endless chat messages buildup along the screen and peering at the number of viewers he had now achieved.

JEEEZUS christ, 200k?! That’s insane! You thought, widening your eyes at the number on the screen.

Your streams only ever reached 90k, which was a lot more than you had expected. The number was slowly growing now, though… ever since Corpse blew up on tiktok for just posting videos of his hands.

Wild.

You clicked through a few comments, watching super comments flash along the chat as well as mods trying to attempt to get slow chat to work. You couldn’t help but slightly laugh at the struggle, turning back towards the game as a few of the avatars began bouncing around with one another. People were getting back to the game.

You were about to shift around in his seat, reaching for the keyboard to type something in game when two larger hands came gently down on your shoulders. They pushed you gently down against the chair, causing it to lean back with your body. A face moved next to your ear, lips grazing against the skin.

“Whattup Baby?~” That low voice growled, you gently flinching at the rumbling next to your ear.

You turned to find Corpse grinning down at you, his hands easing up off your body and reaching for your face. His right hand came in contact with your cheek, gently squeezing against it as he slowly walked around the chair and crouched down. To be right beneath your eye level.

“Hi..” You hummed, leaning over to press your lips against his forehead before leaning back to look in his maroon-like eyes.

“Why’re you in my chair? You need to get back to your own stream, silly~” He hummed, beginning to stand as he reached for your arm to pull you out of the chair.

You grinned, your head falling back begrudgingly as he easily pulled you from the comfortable seat.

“Wait…! I just wanted to see you…” You lightly whined, him chuckling in response as you stood on your two feet. Him replacing the spot where you had sat.

“Uhuh… and why’s that?” He teased lightly, you couldn’t help but scoff gently while your heart rate increased. He always had that effect on you.

“Well, I mean… I wanted to both congratulate and bother you about your… fucking imposter round-“ He erupted in laughter, you grinning along with him with a simple eye roll, “hey! Let me finish, it was a good round, I’ll give you that… but you threw me under the bus while doing it…! For no reason!”

He raised his brow lightly, his laughter coming to a soft chuckle as he shrugged, “I mean, I gotta keep my title as ‘too fucking good at imposter.’ Sorry, princess…”

You playfully glared in his direction, a stupid smirk spreading across his face. Your lower lip jutted out from your upper one, crossing your arms as you simply pouted in response. He huffed in response, his smirk turning to more of a smile as he reached back out for you.

“C’mere…” He grumbled, his hand grabbing your arm as he pulled you back down to the chair.

“Wait- Ah!” You almost fell against him, barely able to catch yourself against the arm rests on his chair. You looked up, slightly panicked from the sudden fall, to find Corpse smirking right back.

“Wait for what? You’re not ready for affection?” He asked softly, his hand reaching up to push a few loose strands of hair behind your ear.

“N-No, that’s not it…” You mumbled, letting your gaze fall to his chest, seeing the definition of his body through his baggy sweater.

You felt fingers press against the underside of your chin, pushing your face up to look back towards him. You felt your face flush in embarrassment, smiling nervously as his smirk had never faltered.

“You don’t look very sure of yourself…” he whispered to you.

You gently bit at the inside cheek, shrugging quickly, “C-Cuz’ I’m not…”

He chuckled deeply, leaning in slightly as he grabbed you by the lips, gently humming against your mouth as his hands gripped your sides.

You whimpered softly against him, beginning to kiss back as you readjusted yourself in his lap. You quietly wrapped your arms around the back of his neck as you leaned against him.

He chuckled softly, moving his lips against yours as his hands gently slipped up beneath the sides of your shirt and lovingly stroked at your now exposed skin.

“God, you’re so beautiful…” he whispered against you, catching your lips quickly as he continued, “You’re too perfect, fuck… too fucking perfect…”

“Corpse, I-..” You kissed him again, one of your hands reaching up towards his head as you tangled your fingers into the back of his hair.

He hummed against your mouth, squeezing your sides gently as his smily broke out into a grin. The tip of his nose pressed against yours as he sighed, “Yes, princess?~”

“Careful, we need to get back to the game…” You whispered, growing a little nervous as he chuckled.

“They can wait…” He sighed, leaning back in to press his lips back to yours, kissing you deeply once again.

You squeaked lightly, timid as ever before you kissed back. You felt his teeth grazing against your lower lip, gently nipping at the skin. You couldn’t help but slightly moan, pulling away from your lips as he trailed light kisses down your chin and along your jaw.

He was going for your neck, getting there before you could express any protest. You sighed loudly as his lips connected to the skin right below your ear, gently growling against you as you felt a slight wet sensation lick against your earlobe. You shivered, the side of your face falling to the top of his head as he continued his attack on your neck.

“Fuck, Corpse~”

“God, you sound so beautiful baby… you keep acting like this and after the stream? I’ll have no choice but to-“

The desk behind you started vibrating in loud, long buzzes. Both of you freezing in your spots as you turned over your shoulder to find Corpse’s phone lighting up with a phone call.

You quirked your brow, “Who’d be calling you this early in the morning?”

It was 12 pm, you both had woken up at 10 am to actually get ready in time to stream. It wasn’t early for the world, but it was early for this apartment.

“I don’t know… weird,” He leaned forward in his chair, you holding tight against his chest as he grabbed the phone and brought it towards the two of you.

You both looked down at the contact name on the screen, your eyes widening at the name that read.

“Why- hm…” Corpse quickly swiped to answer the call, holding the speaker up to his ear, “Hey Rae, everything okay-“

He stopped suddenly mid sentence, his eyes widening as his cheeks lit up in a bright red. It had to have been the most embarrassed you’d ever seen him, his eyes falling to yours as you read the panic within them.

“R-Right- shit… s-sorry- I-I’ll turn it down now… bye,“ He quickly brought the phone away, immediately hanging up as his eyes flashed towards the chat function on his stream.

“Is… Is everything okay…?” You asked hesitantly, leaning over slightly to read for yourself what people had to say. Did something happen in chat while you guys were preoccupied?

Corpse didn’t respond, his eyes just scanned what the letters read on screen. You frowned, you confusion growing by the second. He hit a button on the keyboard, did he just unmute?

A strained laugh left his mouth, falling back in the chair with you still in his arms. His eyes found yours, his lips slowly turning to a grin before he laughed one of the hardest laughs you had yet to hear from him.

Your eyes widened, completely baffled at this point.

“Corpse, please- What happened?”

“We- We- AHA! We were unmuted!! That ENTIRE time!” He cackled, his hand landing on his chest to almost support him in some way.

You, on the other hand, went from complete befuddlement to absolute humiliation. There was no way THAT was just heard by hundreds upon thousands of people. No fucking way.

“Wh-What??” You began to panic, reaching for his broad shoulders and gently holding onto them, “Wh-What are you even t-talking about?!”

He gently gripped onto you in return, readjusting you against him as he held you there. His laughter died down before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your nose.

You both were open that you were in a relationship, people knew… but, that doesn’t mean you necessarily wanted them to hear..

“Hey, baby, don’t worry… it could’ve been a lot worse… We’re fine~” he reassured, your brow still tensed from your worry. You knew the worst had already happened when he blew up, but how would they use his voice in that kind of tone…

You didn’t want to think about it too much. Not jealous, more just… weirded out. Who knew how people would use your voice in that tone either? You didn’t dwell on it.

“Ah, o-okay… yeah, nothing we need to worry about now,” You nodded with him, his gentle features turning to a warm smile. He brought his hand up to your cheek, his thumb gently swiping across your skin as he hummed.

“Mhm, all is fine… I promise,” He mumbled to you, leaning in softly to press his lips back against your forehead.

You sighed, pausing against him for a moment before leaning away, “Well… p-probably shouldn’t keep them waiting m-much longer…”

Corpse raised his brow gently smiling sadly in agreement with a slight nod. He gently reached for your hips once again, holding them gently as he helped hoist you back onto your two feet. You yelped softly as you let yourself be lifted, extending your two legs to meet the floor.

You stood still for a moment, your eyes meeting his as you timidly smiled, “S-Sorry about the mic thing… I should’ve stayed in my stream.”

You nervously laughed, his smile never faltering as yours broke out into a grin. Your slight guilt written all over your features.

“No, no, you’re totally fine… don’t apologize,” He hummed, his thumbs gently pressing against your hips as he kept reassuring.

“Okay, haha… now we’ll never forget to check our mics,” You winked softly, your hands grabbing onto his larger ones and squeezing them gently in return.

“Haha… never,” He nodded softly, tilting his head gently to the side as he simply watched you.

You sighed, begrudgingly pulling his hands from your hips as you took a small step away. You gently bounced on the balls of your feet, awkwardly putting your hands together behind your back.

“Hm… well! I- uh… will see you in game…” You smiled, his body turning in his chair as he leaned his chin against two of his fingers that you had freshly reapplied black nail polish that night before.

His brow raised quizzically at you, the damn smirk playing at his lips once again. His fingers flexed slightly, his hands following the motion. You could see the veins running down his wrist from where you stood.

He briefly chuckled, “Yeah… I’ll see you there, baby…”

With that, he turned back towards his screen while you didn’t hesitate towards the door. You walked over and grabbed the handle, briefly turning back to the darkened man on the screen, clicking away at the bursts of notifications he was getting from discord.

Oops.

“I love you-“ You flushed, his eyes pulling away from his screen to find you in the doorway. You could see the tint of pink along his cheeks in the darkness of the room.

“…I love you too. Hurry though, Rae is flipping out-“ He laughed, you not wasting a second more to close the door and bound back over to your recording room.

You shut the door behind you, looking up towards your brightened monitor and feeling your breath catch in your chest. You could see your chat blowing up from here, your phone lighting up with MULTIPLE notifications… God, what an unfortunate mistake for Corpse to have made.

You quicken your pace back to your chair, sliding in and putting your headphones back atop of your head. Your camera had come back on in the time you were gone, giving the device a nervous grin before turning towards the game.

“S-Sorry guys, didn’t mean to take that long- uhm…” Your eyes scanned over the chat, not surprised to find it full of caps-locked comments screaming about what happened on Corpse’s stream.

You sighed nervously, your eyes now finding your discord application notifying you that you had… almost fifty notifications?! You mentally had to roll your eyes, quickly turning back towards the camera with a sheepish smile.

“I- uh… I have to go for another minute- B-Be right back!” You laughed, turning on another ad before mentally cursing at yourself. God damnit- your eyes scanned over the viewers on your stream.

What the shit- when did I get 30k viewers?! What the hell?! Of course this is when your viewers decide to spike.

You groaned to yourself, your head falling to your hand as the other reached for your mouse. You clicked to your discord, slowly… but surely, un-deafened your mic.

“OH. MY. GOD. You FUCKING dumbass!” Rae yelled as soon as you unmuted, flinching at the pitch to her tone. It felt like you were being scolded.

“What?! I can’t show my girlfriend some love?!” Corpse replied, not yelling but a definite inflection in his tone.

“No! Nothing wrong with that! But CHECK your MIC next time!!” She laughed loudly. Oh my god.

“Jesus Christ, dude… or at least lower the sensitivity significantly…” Jack spoke up, almost sounding disappointed.

“Ey, welcome back, Fable-“ Felix spoke up, the cheeky grin evident in his tone.

What a fucking asshole-

“FABLE!”

“Oh my god-“

“You guys can’t wait til after stream?!”

“Wait, what am I joining into…?” A new voice intervened, interrupting Rae, Toast, and Lily.

Charlie, what a man, coming in at the worst time.

“H-Hey Charlie…” You spoke up in a greeting.

“Wha- Wait! Answer the question, Fable!” Lily squealed, a groan leaving your mouth as you fell towards your mic.

“I’m sorry! I-I really didn’t mean for it to happen! I had no clue-“

“Yeah, wait, this isn’t on Fable. She just went to go visit Corpse in the other room, guys, chill…” Felix actually stuck up for you, your face lifting in surprise as his words.

“Uh- yeah, actually, I guess that’s fair,” Jack commented, you nervously laughing in response.

“I… am so sorry to all of you,” You apologized softly, a gentle chorus of laughs following your meek apology.

“No, no, no, you’re so fine. You guys weren’t trying to broadcast whatever… that was…” Sykunno hummed awkwardly, you laughing lightly at his uncertainty.

“It was a poor mistake on my part, I’m sorry, Fable…” Corpse spoke up, you grinning at the sound of his voice.

“N-No worries… hey, we already went over this in person. Can we get back to the game?” You grumbled, another fit of laughter through the group at your excusing of the situation.

“Ahaha, yeah let’s get back into it,” Toast replied, the sound of his mouse clicking lightly being heard in the call.

You sighed, deafening yourself once again and turning back on your stream, “Hey everyone, yep… yep, everything’s fine. No worries, I promise, haha. We took a break for a little longer than expected, but we’re back!”

You un-deafened and were met with sound of a very very confused Charlie, “Wait… so… no one’s going to explain to me what happened?”

You all erupted into loud laughter, you falling back slightly in your chair as you cackled. The first voice to come back was Rae, shockingly.

“Don’t worry, Charlie… we’ll tell you later,” She snickered, you laughing along as you came back to your keyboard.

“So… we can start now, though?” Toast spoke up once again.

You began to give confirmations of “yes” with soft ‘yeah’s and ‘mhm’s. Lazy, but it got the point across.

“Cool, starting the next round…” He clicked play again and the countdown began.

“Alright, everyone, remember to MUTE your mics!” Jack spoke up, you rolling your eyes in response as Corpse’s laugh raised above the rest.

“Will do. Thanks,” He chuckled, a louder laugh sounding through the call once again from all mics.

Your screen turned dark, the red avatar of the Among Us character moving to shush you from the screen. You sighed, watching it turn dark again.

“Yeah- yeah, you’re welcome!” Jack played along, grinning softly at the joke as the screen began lighting up once against.

Your screen displayed your avatar next to Corpse’s, the bright red letters of “Imposter” reading across the computer. You raised your eyebrows, making sure you were completely muted on call before chuckling.

“Oh… Hell yeah. Let’s go…”

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

Smoke and Mirrors Chapter One

Smoke and Mirrors: a magician’s trick, the art of making an entity appear to be floating through the use of smoke and mirrors. In figurative speech, something which, once examined, is proven to be an illusion. Like the moon reflected on water, or a flower reflected in a mirror. Unable to be touched.

Description: Listless idol Jeon Jungkook has lost his creative spark. Something just feels...missing. And between jet-setting across the world and constantly evading public scandals, Jungkook’s life up until now has felt like a movie. One thing Jungkook can count on, however, is video games. Y/N has been gaming forever. And when a new VR game called Arcana is released, both Y/N and Jungkook are all over it. But what will become of Jungkook’s online persona when life forces the two to work together? And will Jungkook manage to keep his identity a secret from one of his closest Internet friends?

Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook x (gender unspecified) Reader

Word Count: 12.1k

Tags: Solo Idol!Jungkook, Gamer!Jungkook, Makeup Artist!Reader, Manager!Seokjin, Florist!Hoseok

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: Haha....ha....ha....um, well this is awkward isn’t it? I haven’t been active on here in a long, long time! But God does it feel nice to return. In the time I’ve been away, I’ve been working on a lot of things at once. Too many chefs in the kitchen, except the chefs are projects/responsibilities and the kitchen is me and is also on fire. I think right now more than ever, I’ve leaned into writing to help me feel a bit better about the world. So if this story can make you happy that’s honestly all I can ask for. I don’t think I’ll be keeping a posting schedule, as that feels like too much for me right now, but maybe in the future I’ll come up with a schedule that doesn’t feel overwhelming! Regardless, I’ve missed you guys and I’ve really missed posting my writing here. I hope you all still remember me! And I hope you enjoy this story. Really. As always, please feel free to send me any thoughts or concerns! Questions, critique, comments: send them all my way! I can’t wait to get chatting with you all again.

And I’m on Twitter! I’ll put the link here if you want to follow. I’m very active over there!

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Masterlist

“On God, if you don’t start healing me-!”

“I’m working on it! Christ.”

“Well work harder, damn. Tiki’s about to go down,” you say, gritting your teeth as you whip around toward the dragon staring your party down.

It circles you, never once looking away, several stories tall with glowing yellow eyes that seem to leave trails behind in the darkness of the cavern. You feel at once impossibly small and impossibly fragile in front of such a behemoth, all purple scales and saliva stringing across pointed fangs.

“Just focus on offense for now,” says Sapphire, grunting as he lunges sword-first toward the dragon.

Your brows shoot sky high as Sapphire, a DPS like you, runs straight for the enemy. His silver knight’s armor clanks in his wake. “Wait!” you call, but it’s too late. Your teammate has his sword plunging in and slicing out and slashing wild before you can even prep your next spell. “Jesus, Saph!”

You hear his laughter like bells echo through the cavern, seeming to bounce against the domed ceiling and drip like water from the clinging stalactites. “Tiki! Distract!” you call as the dragon whips wildly: first toward Sapphire and then toward you. “Shit,” you whisper, examining your mana with a hiss. “I need a second to recover!”

Tiki, a massive green orc and also your team’s tank, rushes in with his battle axe. Upon the first hit, the dragon writhes in pain and turns toward Tiki, ire in its yellow eyes. Tiki says nothing, just lets out a string of labored breaths as he swings his heavy weapon. Sapphire is quick to attack at the dragon’s heels. The dragon opens its mouth to spew flames across the charred cavern, aiming right for Tiki, but before it can Zero finally heals him with a flash of white light and a bolt straight to his broad green chest. You jump, turn to the side to see Zero is standing beside you about twenty feet from the dragon.

“Get spelling, Nova!” he shouts, long blonde hair flying in the breeze his spell created.

His voice, deep and gruff, doesn’t suit his pretty, dark-skinned elven body: particularly the well-rendered female…curvature. Every time he talks, it takes you off guard. You shake it off and nod once.

“Loli! Get punching!” you call to your resident monk as she idles near the dragon’s tail. She says nothing. You sigh, rest a hand on your hip. “Loli!”

She jumps to attention. “Sorry! My roommate needed me,” she says with a laugh, rubbing the back of her half-shaven head.

“Tell her to piss off!” calls Tiki as the dragon, halted by Zero’s healing spell, recovers and swings a mighty paw his way.

Your mana is finally restored and, shutting your eyes, you summon a bolt of ice. With a shout, you spin your staff over your head before slamming it down with a thunderous clap. Ice splinters dizzyingly fast from the ground beneath your staff and crawls like frost until it hits the dragon, stunning it still for a few seconds.

“Health’s low! Saph, go for the kill!” Lolita shouts as she lands a solid punch on the dragon’s belly that shatters your freezing spell.

Without waiting a second more, Sapphire shoves his sword into the dragon’s heaving chest as it writhes from pain. It looses a cry that sends vibrations through the cavern. A few rocks tumble from fissures in the cave walls, and a stalactite cracks and careens toward the ground where it explodes into shards.

And, with that, the massive beast falls to its stomach, its head clunking to the ground in front of Tiki’s feet. The ensuing silence rings in your ears as the five of you stand completely still, waiting. It wouldn’t be the first time an enemy has fallen only to reveal a dormant ability that results in a second battle. None of you says a thing until the massive body before you begins to dissolve into pixels, leaving you with only the skull as a prize and a bag of loot in place of a carcass.

Lolita is the first to break the silence with a loud hoot. “Wooh! Hell yeah!” she shouts, clapping her hands.

You chuckle, lean on your staff. “Loli, you can only celebrate halfway since you missed half the fight,” you tease with a fond sigh.

She rushes toward you, wipes off her blue robes and crosses her arms. “My roommate came in!”

“And you didn’t warn us,” Zero chides as he smooths a few flyaway hairs, smiling. That model of his is just too pretty…

“I-,”

“Guys!” Sapphire shouts, jumping once as he examines the loot bag. “Look at this!”

You spin your staff in your hand and jog to stand beside the knight. His red eyes are bright, digging through the bag until he produces in one gloved hand—

“Is that a Philosopher’s Stone Fragment?” asks Tiki, similarly enraptured as he comes up beside Sapphire’s flank.

Sapphire nods. “Which means—,”

“Which means we’re one step closer,” you say, and you lock eager eyes with Sapphire who only nods. “Well shit!”

“Also means we were right to come this way,” Lolita says, holding up one finger as if correcting us. “And whose idea was that?”

Zero shoves Lolita by the head and turns back toward the loot bag. “Anything else?” he asks.

Sapphire digs around before shrugging. “A shield,” he says.

“Don’t need it,” Tiki says.

“And…mm…,” he pauses, brow furrowing as he pulls out a piece of paper. He purses his lips, runs a hand through his blue-black hair, cocks his head to the side. “Schematic?”

“For what?”

“Oh!” he exclaims, turning to you as he hands you the paper. You look it over and scoff. “Superior elemental staff.”

“Cuts down the mana I need to do spells,” you say, rolling your eyes as you pocket the paper. “Coulda used that today.”

Sapphire claps your shoulder. “Next time! We’ve still got three fragments to find before anyone else does.”

You nod. “Well, with that settled…,” you begin, itching to use the bathroom.

“Ah! You gotta leave?” asks Sapphire.

You nod. “Got work in the morning.”

“Eugh,” he sighs, shoulders slumping. “Me too.”

“Me three,” says Zero.

“Ah, the working world. We’re lucky, huh Tiki?” Lolita says with a wistful sigh as water from overhead drips onto her shoulder. She jumps a little, but settles easily. “Don’t you miss your reckless college days?”

You laugh. “I only graduated last year,” you say, turning toward Sapphire. “Speaking of which, Saph did you ever go to school?”

He stiffens. “Ah, uh…,” he begins, glancing at his feet. He’s quiet for a moment. “No. Not past high school,” he says with an almost sheepish nod.

You don’t say anything, but it seems like there’s something he’s keeping to himself, something he doesn’t want to share. Sapphire is always like that, but this feels a little different.

“Hm,” you say, sensing his discomfort. “Welp, I’m gonna peace out for the night. Message me when you guys wanna go for the next fragment. I’ll keep researching where it might be.”

“Mm, sounds good,” says Tiki. “I’m starving. Loli, wanna get some food?”

Lolita glances at Tiki out the corner of her eye. “You mean, like, real food?”

Tiki sighs. “Obviously real food. I don’t wanna waste money on game food.”

She laughs and nods. “Alright. I’ll meet you at your dorm.”

“Mm.”

Without another word, both Tiki and Lolita blink out, leaving nothing behind them. You turn toward Zero and pat his back. “Sorry for getting on your case tonight,” you say. “I was worried Tiki would fall and then…well, you get it.”

Zero shrugs, examining one of his perfect fingernails. “No, I wasn’t on my game tonight. I’ll be better next time.”

“Me too,” you say, waving as Zero too blinks out.

You turn toward Sapphire and offer a smile. “Sorry for asking about college,” you say.

He stiffens, brows raised. “Hm? Oh, no it’s fine,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck with a smile. “It’s just, uh…well, you know my dad always wanted me to go to college so…”

You wave your hands, shake your head. “Forget it, alright? I won’t bring it up unless you do first.” You smirk. “You played tank tonight, didn’t you?”

He laughs. “Yeah, a little.”

“Don’t do that shit,” you say, but you can’t help your smile. “What would we do if we lost you in the middle of a battle?”

You can see his posture go a little straight. He turns to you, blinking. “You…?” he begins, but cuts himself off with a laugh. “Ah, mm, well…I’d better get going.”

“Mhm. Message me if you get any new info about fragment locations,” you say, then chuckle. “Or if you just wanna talk about The Bachelor or something.”

He laughs with you. “I don’t watch The Bachelor!”

“Well, whatever you watch!” you call as you jog a few paces away. You offer a wave which Sapphire mimics before pressing the disconnect button on your headset.

You shake your head, disoriented as you return to your bedroom, your window sitting before you, the outskirts of Bucheon spreading out in spindly arms around you. Your head throbs a little and you wince, removing your sensor gloves and setting them gently on the light wood table beside your computer. You guide one of the philodendron leaves to the side so it won’t tickle the gloves. You shuck off the sensor jacket too and leave it draped over the back of your gaming chair. Slowly, you return your attention to the window, smiling down at the sea of lights undulating in the dark. It’s a nice evening, you notice as you press the pads of your fingers to the cool glass.

Your phone, until then sitting dormant on the tabletop beside your potted jade plant, pings to life with a notification. Your eyes widen and you grab for it, stretching your torso as you do to work out your aching muscles. Tonight’s session with the group had gone long, and the fatigue on your back is severe from slumping in that gaming chair like a shrimp. And even though you have to move your upper body to activate the full range of Arcana’s sensor controls, your ass feels like you’ve just sat through back-to-back, four-hour lectures.

BeastSlayers™

SacredSapphire: miss u guys already :-(

You laugh, watch as Tiki begins writing a message in response.

TikiTikiRoom: ..

TikiTikiRoom: dont be soft bitch ill kill you

You pad down the hallway, watching your phone as you stumble through the dark apartment with one hand on the wall bracing you. You connect your phone to the TV speakers and play some lofi something or other, bop your head as you enter the kitchen and flip on a flickering yellow light. You rifle through the freezer, produce a cherry red popsicle. You press it to your lips and smile.

Lolovely: I haven’t even made it to Tik’s dorm wtf why are you being sappy already?

CodenameZer0: Looool, Saph? More like SAP.

TikiTikiRoom: press f

SuperNova: I think it’s sweet :’)

SuperNova: Wanna voice chat?

SacredSapphire: nonono

SacredSapphire: someone’s coming over lol

Lolovely: ominous…

You chuckle and take a bite of your popsicle. But as you do, the thing turns to mush and slides from the stick like slop, staining your white shirt and your lips red. “Shit!” you exclaim, then rush to the freezer.

With a sigh, you notice that a layer of ice is frosted over the back. And as you jam your hand in, you can feel that the temperature is higher than it should be. Hence, melty popsicle. You groan, take to it with a knife from the creaky drawer. You chip away at the ice and keep chipping until the back of the freezer is visible once more.

“Cheap piece of crap,” you mumble, kicking the fridge with your socked toe.

You return to the group chat to a slew of messages.

TikiTikiRoom: WAIT SAPH DO YOU HAVE A BOY/GIRL/THEYFRIEND??

TikiTikiRoom: IM GONNA HAVE AN ANEURISM

Lolovely: !!!!!!!!!

Lolovely: ??????

CodenameZer0: Hohohoh

CodenameZer0: Could it be?

SacredSapphire: NO!!

SacredSapphire: i don’t have a boy/girl/theyfriend! i’m too busy, rip

SacredSapphire: it’s just someone

SacredSapphire: don’t worry about it lol

Lolovely: sus…

Lolovely: nova’s better at this stuff

Lolovely: interrogation

Lolovely: think if i scream hard enough nova will come back?

Lolovely: NOVAAAAAA

You laugh and take a few photos. First of the old laminate floor which now resembles a crime scene in cherry popsicle red. Next of your shirt, now streaked in slush. Third, of your face, lips stained like you’ve smeared lip tint on your skin. You pull a pout before snapping the shot, then send all three together.

SuperNova: I crave death.

SuperNova: Stupid cheap fridge. Freezes over literally monthly.

SuperNova: I hate it here.

Lolovely: oooh that pic…

Lolovely: kinda….sexy hehe

SuperNova: ???

You set your phone aside and take to cleaning the floor. Last thing you need in this shithole is an ant infestation. Your music bumps gently through the sound bar beneath your TV. Sure, your apartment is decked out in tech, but the place itself?

You glance around the kitchen, a sanitary white with pretty fixtures, and suppress a sigh. It’s all for show anyway, this apartment. Like almost all the others in the area, it only looks nice. The reality, however…

Well, it’s melted popsicles and a shower that only runs lukewarm.

You check your phone with a hip against the countertop.

TikiTikiRoom: lewd lol

SuperNova: Shut up lmao nothing lewd about my shitty fridge.

SuperNova: Anyway, no I’m not gonna help you bully Saph.

SuperNova: Leave him alone or I’ll bite your ankles.

Lolovely: !!!

Lolovely: qu'est-ce que pas?

Lolovely: Nova…you’ve been defending Saph lately…

Lolovely: hold on i’m seeing something…

CodenameZer0: Don’t threaten my ankles.

SacredSapphire: nova baby ur the only loyal one here

Laughing, you type your response and make your way to the couch, falling flat on your stomach with an unpleasant thump.

Jeon Jungkook sits still, swiveling in his gaming chair with a soft smile as he watches the messages surge through the Discord group chat. Even though they’re busy teasing him, Jungkook can’t help the swell of fondness in his chest for his group mates. He leans back precariously far, the room nearly pitch black save for the shifting LEDs on his keyboard and the purple screensaver on his monitor.

SuperNova: It’s you and me, Saph.

SuperNova: Now come here and get your kith :3

Jungkook chokes a laugh with his hand, covering his mouth as his eyes squint. He tosses his head to the side, lets out a sigh. Quietly, he touches the photo you sent and lets it spread across his screen. He chuckles, examining your expression. Displeased, you eye the camera with furrowed brows and a pout. Briefly, Jungkook considers telling you it’s cute.

But he quickly clicks out of the photo, clears his throat, and catches up with the chat.

CodenameZer0: God, barf.

TikiTikiRoom: no kithes for zero

Lolovely: lolol i want a kith :(

SuperNova: Get in line then. Saph first.

SacredSapphire: i….*blushes*

SacredSapphire: N-N-Noona!

CodenameZer0: FUCKING BARF GOODBYE

Zero’s icon goes offline and Jungkook laughs in earnest now, his head lolling back. But before he can respond, the door to his studio opens with a robotic jingle. He jumps a little, turning his whole body toward the door. He nearly falls off the chair as he swivels.

In the doorway, Kim Seokjin shuffling across the threshold with two cups of coffee in a carrier. He looks a little disheveled, hair windswept and eyes scanning the room round and round. His gaze lingers here and there: resting on Jungkook’s wall of figurines, then on the futon still pulled down and covered in a messy heap of sheets, then on Jungkook’s face as he sits perfectly still, perfectly redhanded. Jungkook’s mouth agape, his fingers poised to type another message to the group chat, his computer monitor showing no lyrics, no notes, no Ableton. Just his screensaver.

Jungkook had planned to pull up his WIP song before Jin arrived, but the opportunity to do that has long since passed.

“Uh…,” Jungkook says, dumbfounded with round eyes glowing in the flashing keyboard lights. “Hey, Seokjin.”

Jin’s nostrils flare, his expression fiery. His attention flashes to the sensor gloves, the controllers sitting beneath them, the sensor jacket left astray on the ground, haphazard.

“Jeon Jungkook-,”

“I can explain!”

Seokjin glares at him, cocks one single brow. “Uh-huh?”

“I…,” Jungkook begins, flustered as he rises to his feet. He feels like he’s in school again. Seokjin’s gaze is disarming, intense, and his knuckles are white as he crushes the cardboard handle of the coffee carrier. “Uh…I was taking a small tiny little break.”

“A small,” Seokjin begins, placing the coffee on Jungkook’s work desk and resting his palm beside it, “tiny,” he continues, leveling his eyes with Jungkook’s, “little break?” Jin’s jaw is clenched.

Jungkook swallows hard. “Mhm…”

Jungkook expects Seokjin to bare his canines, to sneer at him, to scold him to kingdom come. But his manager simply eases into a sigh and leans away from Jungkook, rubbing his forehead. It’s clear the will to fight with Jungkook is slowly leaking, and before long Seokjin has fallen backwards onto the futon, crushing the blanket mountain in his descent.

“Listen,” Seokjin says, fatigue in his voice. “You’ve got…so much going on in the next few months, you know?”

“I know!” Jungkook says, quick to sit beside Seokjin, brows knitting. He feels like a kid again, and the disappointment laced through Jin’s words feels like his childhood. “Trust me, I’m not just…like, procrastinating. It’s not that.”

Jin eyes him sidelong. “Then what is it?”

Jungkook stiffens, his back straight as a board. He clears his throat, stares at the coffee. “Let me get those,” he says, rushing to his feet with a clumsy stumble and grabbing the coffees before returning to his spot beside Jin. He hands Jin a coffee, expectant and, begrudgingly, Seokjin takes it and sips.

“Don’t avoid the question,” he says, stern. “If anyone’ll understand, it’s gotta be me, right?”

Jungkook nods. “No, you’re right!”

“Like, we’ve gone through some hard shit and where have I been? Right behind you. From day one,” he says, leveling a serious look at Jungkook. The lighthearted mood has fled from the room through the cracks in the walls. “All I’m asking is for you to put in the effort.”

Jungkook sighs, rests his forearms on his knees, laces his fingers around the coffee cup. He stares at the space between his toes. “I just…,” he begins, voice choked with insecurity. He doesn’t want to say it. In fact, he’d rather do just about anything else.

Because, after all, saying it means it’s real.

And if it’s real, then it’s a real problem.

“Listen,” Jin begins, patting Jungkook’s back. “I get it. Making music…it can be really tiring, right?” he says. Jungkook can only shrug. “And sometimes you might not feel like you can do it. Like you don’t have the inspiration.”

“Mm…”

Seokjin gives another pat, stronger this time. “But that’s how life is, Jungkook. Work doesn’t just wait. You’re an adult now. You’ve got adult responsibilities. And when you make a passion into your full-time job, you kinda sacrifice the freedom. Deadlines are a thing. You can’t just…be flippant and casual about it.”

“I’m not being casual,” says Jungkook, and for the first time since Jin walked in his voice is strong and steady. He sits up straight and meets Jin’s imploring eyes.

Seokjin offers a small smile. “Good,” he says. “I trust you. And, you know, you’ve got a whole team of producers behind you who wanna see you succeed. All you’ve gotta do is call.”

“I know.”

“You’re not doing it alone, alright?” he asks, and Jungkook’s throat tightens a little. “That’s the good thing about making your passion into your full-time job, huh? Now…well, now it’s not just your responsibility. It’s divided.”

“Yeah.”

“Well…,” Seokjin says, patting his thighs as he pushes to his feet. “Just wanted to drop by and check on you.”

Jungkook offers a smile and nods, standing with his manager. “Yup.”

“You do remember what’s on deck for tomorrow, right?” asks Seokjin, cocking a brow as he takes another swig of coffee.

Jungkook nods again. “Screen test with the drama people.”

Jin smacks the side of Jungkook’s head and crosses his arms. “Not the drama people!” he says, rolling his eyes. “It’s IJBC.”

“IJBC, right,” Jungkook says as he tenderly rubs the side of his head. “I remember.”

“Do you even know the name of the drama?” The younger boy falls silent, sheepish. “It’s called Give Up Generation, Jungkook.”

“I remember,” Jungkook says, pouting a little. “I just…forgot for a minute.”

Jin can’t help chuckling. “Get to bed early then so you don’t have dark circles,” Jin says with a smile, nodding as he turns toward the door. “Ah!” Seokjin pivots around, casting a disdainful look over Jungkook’s shoulder at the foldout futon. He pulls a scowl. “Sleep at home tonight, will you?”

Jungkook chuckles. “Alright. Stop nagging now,” he says, patting Jin’s back as he guides him out the door and into the hallway. “Bye, Jin!” he calls, not awaiting a response.

Slowly and with his head down, Jungkook shuffles back inside and slumps into his gaming chair, staring at his screensaver. He heaves a deep down sigh, lets it escape through his lips nearly pinched shut. Like exhaling cigarette smoke.

His phone pings to life with an incoming message.

SuperNova: Alright, I had your back before but I don’t cosign the Noona Agenda. I don’t even know if I am your noona.

Lolovely: seconded.

Lolovely: plus it’s icky.

TikiTikiRoom: boooooo

SuperNova: Wait, I think I just heard something in the hallway. Hold on.

Lolovely: SCARY!

TikiTikiRoom: burglars lol

Lolovely: ctrl z yourself, tiki

Lolovely: what if it is though…?

TikiTikiRoom: doubt it.

SuperNova: !!!

SuperNova: Lol it was a package…?

Lolovely: so late…?

SuperNova: Yeah…Lemme open it hold on.

The next message that comes through is a photo you send. Jungkook sits up straighter, opens it quick, and grins once he realizes what it is. A cardboard box, relatively big, sitting torn open on your kitchen floor, the photo features a look inside at several pretty makeup palettes and brushes. Jungkook doesn’t know the names of everything he sees, but he knows why it’s a big deal.

SacredSapphire: !! they finally sent it!!

SuperNova: They did!!

Lolovely: wait what? what did who send?

SuperNova: Lol, sorry. Uh I guess I only told Saph. But the brand I’ve been communicating with actually sent me a PR package! I’m gonna use it on my next job.

SuperNova: This shit’s super expensive too, so I’m lucky I’ve been in contact with a rep.

SuperNova: Gotta use the best to be the best!

TikiTikiRoom: i forgot ur a makeup artist lol

TikiTikiRoom: .-.

SuperNova: …

SuperNova: We’ve been group mates for like four months jfc

SuperNova: Anyway, yeah I’m glad. I guess they sent it to the wrong apartment? So my neighbor brought it over. He just got back from work.

Lolovely: neighbor?

Lolovely: cute neighbor?

SuperNova: He’s like seventy so no, not really my type.

SacredSapphire: nova, that’s super cool. i’m sure you’re gonna get big gigs soon.

SuperNova: Well, I can hope haha.

SuperNova: No, well…all I can do is work hard.

SuperNova: >:-)

All you can do is work hard, huh?

Jungkook tosses his phone to the side and rubs his hands up and down his face. He pinches his eyes shut and relaxes into the back of his chair, feeling the lull of sleepiness finally pulling at him.

And instead of going home like Jin asked, Jungkook simply pads over to the futon and, without moving the blankets, collapses atop them and falls asleep where he falls.

“I’m very sorry.”

“No…uh, no it’s fine.”

“Of course, you can keep the fees or whatever.”

“Oh, um, I…no, I’ll refund those too.”

“Really? I’ll give you a really good review!”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m really sorry.”

You sigh, plant a hand on your forehead and heave a sigh. Forcing a smile, you shake your head and press your phone into the crook of your shoulder, bending down to give your fiddle-leaf fig a hose down with your watering can.

“It’s fine. Things come up, you know?”

The girl on the other side of the phone, a young independent model going in for headshots, had called you an hour ago and had spoken at length about why she has to cancel her appointment with you today. How the photographer did this or that, how she actually watched a few tutorials online and figured she could do it herself, how she felt so so bad. You feel bad for her, of course. Kind of.

“Listen, I’ll give you a shoutout on my page, alright? I’ll tag you in my story,” she says.

You shake your head. “No, that’s fine. Just, um…you know, take care. Remember to clean your brushes.”

At this, she laughs. “Thanks for being so cool. I was actually super nervous to call and cancel. I’ve had to cancel a few things like this before, and I’ve had bad experiences,” she says. “Anyway, I’ll recommend you!”

“Alright.”

“Thanks!”

You nod as she hangs up the phone. Gently, you rise to your feet and set your watering can aside on the kitchen table. You set the phone beside it, pausing to glare at the black screen. Well…there goes your Sunday. You turn over your shoulder, pad to the window, crack it open a little. A bracing breeze whistles through, cooling your skin. You shut your eyes against it — only for a moment — before you turn on your heel, shove your feet into your sneakers sockless, swipe your phone and house keys, and shove out the door.

The florist’s is a healthy walk away, but the weather is nice enough and you’re too tired to brave the subway even if it’s only a few stops. You pass buildings and parks as the landscape becomes more and more urban and the high rises look like they could puncture the cloud layer. Before long, you’re standing in front of Happy Garden and, stepping through the sliding doors that are always left open and all-but nonfunctioning with the lush green plants climbing all around. You breathe a sigh of relief, pat your chest a little as the fresh, grassy scent settles your heart.

You aren’t there for more than half a minute before Hoseok stumbles out from the back room, grinning wide with a bouquet of hydrangeas in his hands, wrapped in butcher paper and twine. He curves around the stumbling greenery littering every surface and encroaching on every walkway and comes to a stop in front of you. He smiles.

“Hey,” you say before he gets the chance. You hold up one limp hand in a lazy wave.

He glances up and down, from your head to your toes, and sighs. Still holding the hydrangeas, he rests a hip on the checkout counter and cocks a brow.

“That is the opposite of encouraging,” you remark with a scowl.

He chuckles, pats your arm. “What’s up?” He jerks his head toward the front of the store where bouquets are displayed and you follow behind him as he leads you there. “Unsuccessful raid?”

“Contrary to popular belief, my life doesn’t revolve around video games, actually,” you say, but his laugh wipes the grimace from your face.

His fluffy hair bounces as he bends down to add the hydrangeas to the display and when he stands upright once more he crosses his arms. “You know what I mean. You’ve been in here a lot lately.”

“Pardon me for trying to raise plants,” you say with a pout.

Again, he laughs. “Jesus, stop trying to pick a fight!” he says. “You must be in a really bad mood if you’re here acting like this.”

“Well what’s that supposed to mean?” you begin, outrage all over your face, before locking eyes with Hoseok and composing yourself. You sigh, nod your head. “Yeah, no I’m being annoying.”

He smiles, heart-shaped, and the apples of his cheeks grow rounder. What a joyful guy, you think to yourself with a wistful sigh. “Tell me about it then.”

He pulls one of the empty display boxes over and offers you a seat as he begins tending to the plants all around. You oblige, settle in, and sigh again. “It’s just…everything kinda feels like a dead end right now.”

“Hm?” he asks over his shoulder, graceful hands guiding a waxy leaf back in place.

“Like with my work,” you say, then shake your head. “No, that’s not it. Not entirely.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…things are okay, you know? I’m getting PR gifts. I’m growing my following on Instagram. I’ve got consistent clients,” you say, nodding. “Like everything is fine, you know?”

“But something feels…missing maybe?” Hoseok offers as he moves to spraying the ferns with water.

You shake your head. “More than that, it’s…like, I feel like I’ve hit the ceiling of what I can do, you know? Like what if this is the best I’ll ever do?”

“Is that bad?” he asks.

You sigh. “Not bad, just…disappointing,” you say. “I wanna work on movies. Red carpets. Editorials.” You rest your chin in your hand and your elbow on your knee. You stare up at Hoseok, now trimming brown leaves from another plant across the store. “I don’t wanna be stuck doing birthday parties forever.”

Hoseok hums, turns toward you with his hands in his apron pocket. He offers a smile. “You sound like a brat.”

You stiffen, eyes wide. “I-,” you start, but there’s really not much you can say to retort. So, softly, you slump once more and shrug. “Yeah…”

“And if you keep that attitude, you’re never gonna be an editorial makeup artist. I can promise you that,” he says with a nod as he approaches once more and crouches before your knees, still smiling. “Everyone has to grow somehow, you know? Be grateful you’ve got opportunities to build your resume.”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“What brought all of this on?”

Shrugging, you glance away toward the big croton plant in the corner, basking in morning sunlight, leaves all stiff and red and green. It’s a pretty plant. You tilt your head to the side, stare longer.

“That model bailed,” you say, but you’ve almost forgotten the self-pity of a moment ago. You stand to your feet and wander toward the plant, hitting halfway up your thigh. You crouch before it and look it over. “Hoseok, this is a really big croton.”

He laughs. “Mhm.”

“How much?”

“With the pot and given its height, it’s going for thirty-five-thousand won.”

You raise your brows. “I expected worse.”

“We’re fair here!” he protests, wagging his finger at you as he comes to stand beside you.

You smile softly, run a finger along the edge of a leaf. “It’s really pretty.”

“Suits you,” he says.

Without noticing, your anxiety begins to subside. “I think I’ll take it.”

“I’ll give you five-thousand off since you’re having a bad day,” he says, patting your back.

You turn to him with a smile. “Thanks.”

He chuckles. “I’ll loan you the dolly so you can get that thing home. Just bring it back before two.”

You stand up, stare down at the plant, nod once. “Mhm.”

Hoseok makes his way toward the cash register, punches in a few numbers. You linger a few steps behind, still staring at the croton. You get a good feeling off that one. Hoseok would tease you if you said as much, but you know when to listen to your intuition.

“Your big break will come Y/N,” Hoseok says as he rings you up, not once glancing to meet your eyes. “Just keep going.”

Jungkook sits with his head leaning against the rattling van window, eyes half-shut. Seoul blurs past him in shades of silvery grey and it’s all he can do to keep himself from falling asleep. For all his nagging, Seokjin had been right about one thing: Jungkook was sporting purplish bags beneath his eyes from a restless night’s sleep. Jin sits beside him now, frowning at his phone as he scrolls through Twitter. He’d given Jungkook a very stern talking to once he’d seen him, and really Jungkook deserved it. He knows that.

“Your voice is in good condition, right?” asks Jin.

Jungkook sits up straight, clears his throat. He shrugs. “Yeah. Why?”

Still stewing over his phone, Seokjin waves his hand without looking up. “Don’t worry about it.”

Jungkook sighs, leans back once more, gazes out the window once more. His phone buzzes once and he grabs it quickly, eager to distract himself.

BeastSlayers™

SuperNova: [image attached]

SuperNova: check him out OJO

Jungkook clicks the image you sent and chuckles as it loads up. The photo features nothing of you save for one hand, reaching out from behind the camera, throwing up a peace sign. Behind your hand, a houseplant. A pretty big one at that.

Jungkook smiles and drafts his reply, but the others are quicker.

CodenameZer0: Another plant? Lol isn’t your apartment overflowing with them by now?

SuperNova: Hush. Look at him.

LoLovely: cute!

LoLovely: does he have a name?

SuperNova: I don’t name my plants.

TikiTikiRoom: lol

TikiTikiRoom: because THAT would be weird

CodenameZer0: At least Nova can care care for a plant in the first place.

CodenameZer0: Let’s be honest here, Nova’s probably the only one among us who is even remotely responsible enough.

SacredSapphire: Nova it’s cute!

SacredSapphire: name him after me ;3

SuperNova: Sapphire?

SacredSapphire: hmmm say my name hehe

CodenameZer0: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST

CodenameZer0: IF THE FLIRTING DOESN’T STOP I’M GETTING YOU A TWO-WEEK BAN ON ARCANA

SacredSapphire: SHIT okay okay, let’s just take it easy

SacredSapphire: talk this out like adults…

SuperNova: Once I’ve finished setting up my new plant, I’m gonna play Animal Crossing. Anyone free to join? I’ve got oranges and mums.

SuperNova: Also had a meteor shower last night and have leftover star fragments first come first served.

The offer is tempting, to be sure. Not only would he receive star fragments, he’d be able to wander your island with the others. It might feel like you guys are side-by-side for real. Jungkook reaches into his backpack, slumped between his knees, and rifles around for his Switch. But as he produces the case, Seokjin shoots him the evil eye.

“If you’ve got time to play games, you’ve got time to review your lines,” he says, cocking a brow.

Jungkook sighs a little, slides the Switch back inside his bag. “I’ll look them over again.”

“Good.”

He takes one last look at his cell phone, checking the group chat with a frown that pinches the sides of his lips.

TikiTikiRoom: MEMEMEME

TikiTikiRoom: if any of you fakes get there before me ill go apeshit

TikiTikiRoom: i need so many

LoLovely: don’t need fragments, just wanna see ur cute face hehe

SuperNova: /blushes

SuperNova: I’ll open the gates once Sapphire Junior is nice and settled.

CodenameZer0: I’ll come too. I wanna shop.

SuperNova: Can’t you be cute like Lolita?

CodenameZer0: /gags

SuperNova: You coming, Saph? I’ll save a few fragments for you.

TikiTikiRoom: FAVORITISM

SuperNova: I am transparent about my favoritism toward Sapphire.

SuperNova: Because he is indeed my favorite.

LoLovely: *shocked pikachu face*

SacredSapphire: soz :-( i can’t

SacredSapphire: working

SuperNova: :-(

SuperNova: Next time we’ll all come to your island.

Jungkook tries not to feel that twinge of melancholy that tugs at his chest. That one he always gets when his friends go out for barbecue or grab drinks and hit the karaoke rooms. The one that feels like he’s really, deeply, fundamentally missing out on something important.

No, he doesn’t feel it. Instead, he focuses his attention on the printout Seokjin had given him three days ago. He scans the lines over and over, committing them to memory.

“No! That’s the thing, she didn’t even tell me!” says the girl below your brush.

You attempt to guide the highlighter across her cheekbones, but before you can make contact with her skin she’s jerked away once more, talking so animatedly that you can’t even tell if you’ve made her eyebrows even.

“That’s shitty,” says her friend beside her, likewise preoccupied as Jieun struggles to match her skintone.

The two of you lock eyes, both hovering over the two women as they chat over matching cups of coffee. Jieun puffs out her cheeks, raises her brows, and goes back to work, smoothing foundation on to the client’s chin with a brush.

You stand in a nice apartment — all marble floors and high ceilings and windowed walls overlooking Seoul. When you’d gotten the offer for a Seoul gig with Jieun, you’d been hesitant. The subway ride is long and you prefer to stay relatively local. But something made you agree. You don’t know exactly what. Call it divine intervention or epiphany or Jung Hoseok, but the words just keep going had been replaying in your brain since you last saw your friend. The pair of women — likely in their thirties — had booked both you and Jieun to do their makeup for a Sunday luncheon.

“And you know she’s looking out for him,” says Hyejin with a scoff. “As if I’m gonna bite the kid’s head off.”

“Maybe you will,” jokes the other woman, laughing just as Jieun reaches in to apply some liquid blush to her cheeks. “You know she’s got a soft spot for him.”

“Yeah well it’s a soft spot in all of our wallets if he doesn’t get his shit together,” says Hyejin, sighing. There is real woe in her expression and you can feel from the shift in atmosphere that things have turned serious. “He’s talented, you know? But…sometimes I think she goes too easy on him,” she continues, and this time her tone is decidedly softer, the movement of her face less pronounced.

You use the opportunity to work some powder beneath her eyes with a sponge. “Well, that’s motherhood for you,” says the other, flippant.

“Have you seen what the folks are saying on Twitter?” asks Hyejin as you apply shadow to her eyelids. “About his voice.”

“Hm?”

“Well some of his bigger hate communities have been compiling all the footage of his stage mistakes and they’re spreading it around,” Hyejin says with a huff. “Stupid, honestly. They’re making it out like he makes those mistakes all the time.”

“Netizens are like that, Hyejin,” says the other woman, now easing into her chair with her eyes shut as Jieun can finally get to work setting her base.

“Still…”

“Now you’re the one defending him,” she remarks with a laugh.

“It’s not that,” Hyejin says, scoffing. “It’s just…like if he doesn’t prove himself soon, all those commenters are gonna have more ammunition, you know? Which is annoying for all of us.”

“Sounds like you care a little bit.”

“I dont.”

“Hm.”

You focus on Hyejin’s full lashes, applying mascara with delicate, steady strokes. She hums a little as you use the pad of your fingertips to tame stubborn eyeshadow into blending more seamlessly. It seems, at least, that the conversation has died down. For that, you are very grateful.

“Say, do you two know anything about k-pop?” asks Jieun’s client.

The two of you lock eyes once more. It’s true that you are well-versed in pop culture: video games, TV shows, YouTube drama. But you’d be lying if you said you tune in to Inkigayo every week. And despite Jieun’s age and her trendy look, you know she’s not the type to keep updated on current idols. And you see in her brown eyes your own shock mirrored.

“Um…no, not particularly,” you answer for the both of you. Jieun releases a breath she’d been holding and smiles her thanks. “Do you two work in the field?”

Hyejin waves her hand and sighs. “Don’t go bothering them with those sorts of questions,” she says, and you notice for the first time the easy poshness that this woman has. Even with her head tilted back and her eyes shut tight, she seems sure of herself.

You envy her just a little for that.

“What? They’re young,” says the other woman, grinning with her eyes shut as Jieun works on her eyeliner. “You ever heard of RTE?”

“Hey now,” says Hyejin, warning in her voice.

“I’m just curious,” the woman continues with a sigh. “Look us up if you haven’t.” The woman chuckles, reaching out blind to smack Hyejin’s upper arm. “Hey, maybe even tweet something nice about our artists!”

“Knock it off and let them work,” Hyejin says, prying open one eye to meet yours. She offers a smile, apologetic, and sighs. “She’s just playing around. You can ignore her. It’s what I do.” She nods her head and leans it back once more.

Quietly, you get back to work. But you can’t help but feel like this woman’s incredible presence makes you paler somehow.

“What’s the point if it makes me unhappy?” Jungkook shouts, brows knitting, eyes growing watery. “The money, the lifestyle…what good is it?” his voice settles into a bare whisper, cracked.

“You only say that because you’re young! You’re stupid! You’re naive! You think things work out just because you want them bad enough?” says his costar, glancing down at the script every now and again as the two stand across from one another.

The set bustles on behind them, crew carrying tall lights and fixtures as they scuttle by. But Jungkook and his costar — a man named Namjoon acting as his older brother — continue their scene under the watchful eye of the cameras, trained right on them. Less of a screen test and more of a chemistry check between actors, Director Lim watches the monitor closely with his scrabbly chin in his palm.

“So what if I fail?” Jungkook asks with a quiver, referencing his script once to make sure he got the line right. “What’re you gonna do? Tattle on me to Dad?”

“I won’t have to,” Namjoon says, sighing as he grips the bridge of his nose. “He’s got his watchdogs trained right on you.”

Jungkook stiffens. “He’s been…following me?”

“I told you you’re too naive for the real world, Jiwon.”

Director Lim claps his hands and in an instant the tension and the scene are broken. Jungkook takes a respectful step back from his costar, and Namjoon offers him a bow of the head. Jungkook returns it, fighting off a nervous grin, and turns to the director as he circles around the equipment to stand in front of them. He’s a middle-aged man, handsome in a way with salt-and-pepper hair and eyes that seem to grab you and hold on like a snare. Jungkook is pinned in place like a bug in a shadowbox.

But Director Lim’s face splits in a crooked smile and Jungkook feels himself ease, exhaling long and slow. “Great job, boys!” he says, clapping both of their shoulders. “You were selling it well.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Jungkook replies too quick, like an eager child.

Director Lim chuckles, pats him again. “I’m praising you, kid. Don’t look so scared.”

He swallows hard. “I…I know. Um…thank you, Sir.”

Behind the trio, a group of stylists cart a rack of costumes quickly to the other side of the set, snagging the back of Jungkook’s shoe as they do. Jungkook stumbles to his knees, caught off guard, and the girls jerk to a stop as they catch themselves on the clothing rack. The two stare down at Jungkook, wide-eyed, and each of them covers their mouths. Immediately, they bow their heads in apology, both muttering sorry, so sorry almost too quietly to hear. Jungkook shakes his head and stands to his feet.

He too bows his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been standing there,” he says gently, hoping to assuage their concerns.

But the girls remain bowed, as if too afraid to even lift their heads. Jungkook, puzzled, leans down slightly to meet their eyes, but they glance away so quickly that he can’t even get a proper look at either of their faces.

“Um…it’s really not a problem,” he says, but before he can say more Director Lim approaches with a grim severity in his eyes. Jungkook, quick to stand up straight and face the director, stutters a little as he settles himself in front of the stylists. “It’s no big deal,” he says to Director Lim, but it’s like the man can’t even hear him.

“We were distracted, Sir,” says one of the girls, raising her head slightly to meet Director Lim’s gaze. “We are very, very sorry.”

“It really isn’t-,” Jungkook begins.

“You think it’s appropriate to crash into my actors? In the middle of a conversation about their performance?” Lim asks, but it’s clear the question isn’t meant to be answered. His tone has shifted into something cold. “You could have very well injured Jungkook.”

“I’m fine-,”

“But what if you weren’t?”

Jungkook shuts his mouth, staring helpless at the girls as they both stand up straight once more, eyes on the floor and hands knitted in front of them. He feels a hand on his back between his shoulder blades and jumps a little, turning quick to find Namjoon standing close.

“Don’t,” is all he says, voice terse and so quiet Jungkook almost doesn’t hear it, before dropping his hand and taking a half step back.

Jungkook’s jaw clenches, his hands work into balls as he stares. The lighting is low, dramatic as if a scene composed by Lim himself. The two girls lift only their eyes to gaze up at him.

“We’re very, very sorry, Sir,” says one of the stylists, guiding a lock of dark hair behind her ear.

“Mhm,” he says, looming. “Make sure it doesn’t happen again. Can’t afford to replace two stylists and a makeup artist in the same week.”

Jungkook simply stares, Namjoon’s warning freezing through him like ice. His limbs feel leaden. And as the two girls rush off, dragging their rack behind them, Jungkook focuses again on Director Lim.

He swivels back around to the two actors with a bright, fatherly smile. “Pardon me,” he says, waving his hand with a warm laugh. “Gotta keep the crew in check otherwise they’ll slack off.”

“Ha,” Jungkook puffs out in response, smiling in turn.

Namjoon hums a little. “Why don’t we try the reconciliation scene?”

“What in the world do you mean?” Hyejin yells into her phone just as she ushers you into her apartment. You eye her as her face grows red, her brows coming together. “He’s not quitting!”

Hyejin pauses to offer you an apologetic smile. She’s dressed in a modest pajama dress, padding barefoot along the cool marble floors. She leans against the arm of a nice black leather sofa, raises a hand to her flushed cheek, looks at her toes with vexation. Carefully, you set your makeup kit on her kitchen island, meeting her eyes with raised brows as if asking permission. She waves her hand, nods once before pinching the bridge of her nose between her index finger and her thumb.

“Listen, we knew Lim was difficult. But this is a huge opportunity for his career.” Hyejin rubs her kneecap, massaging. Her short hair falls along the line of her jaw as she dips her head in a deep sigh. “I know you know that, Seokjin. But you’re his manager. You’ve gotta keep convincing him.”

You begin unpacking your things, setting them neatly along the edge of the countertop, and try not to eavesdrop as Hyejin continues letting out chopped sighs. You can hear her fidget around the apartment behind you. She’d called you again, only a few days later, to secure you for another important event. A meeting, she’d said. You didn’t want to agree. Wanted to say you were too busy, that the commute was too much.

“Hey,” she whispers behind you. You jump, but turn nonetheless to find her cupping one hand over the phone’s receiver. Her eyes are severe, jaw clenched. “How long can you stay? This call might take a while.”

You raise your brows, think back over your schedule. “Hm…,” you respond, then shake your head. “I’m free all day. But…when’s your meeting?”

She stiffens, eyes flashing to the clock on the oven. “Shit,” she mutters. She approaches you with a frown. “I’ve only got two hours to get everything ready—Yes! Yes, I’m still here Seokjin. Stop panicking, for Christ’s sake—,” she says, her shoulders pinching. She glances at you again. “Um…”

You glance around the apartment. It’s spotless, as usual. But you spy in the corner beside a massive potted umbrella tree a taupe pantsuit, hanging beside a steamer. You’d have thought someone in her position would have sent it to the cleaners to be properly steamed, but perhaps it had slipped her mind. With the way she’s pacing around the apartment, still dressed in her pajamas, you wonder if perhaps she’s not as put together as you thought.

“I’ll steam that,” you say with a nod, pointing to the suit.

She stares at you, wide-eyed. “Oh, no. You don’t have to do something like that-,”

You shake your head. “No problem. What else do you need done here?” you ask, consulting your wristwatch with a hum. “If we keep it light, I can have your makeup done in forty-five minutes.”

She blinks at you. “Uh…well…,” she begins, then jumps a little as a voice in the phone shouts loud enough for you to hear. “No! No! Can you relax? I’ll talk you through it in just a minute! I’ve gotta sort some things out,” she shouts back at the phone. She turns her attention back to you with a sheepish smile. “Um, I need to steam the suit, wrap the fruits — they’re a gift for the client —, call the restaurant to confirm the reservation, shine my shoes, organize our documents chronologically and set them up in a binder,” she says.

You have to admit that the sheer volume of busywork has you taken aback. But you steel yourself with a bracing sigh, nod once, and offer her a smile. “Consider it taken care of,” you say.

“Ah! I…I really feel bad dumping all of this on you,” she says, crossing her arms with knit brows. “Normally I’d have my assistant doing all of this, but she’s ill.”

“Not a problem,” you say, smiling once more. “Just take care of your phone call and leave the rest to me! As long as we’ve got forty-five minutes for makeup, we’ll be fine.”

She lets out a sigh that seems to deflate her, shoulders slumping as if in profound relief. She nods once, smiling, and turns on her heel. “I’ll be in my office, alright? I promise I’ll be out in time!”

You give one wave as she rushes through a clouded glass door and shuts it behind her. You roll up the sleeves of your sweater and get to work on the suit.

Two hours later, and you’re accompanying Hyejin out into the apartment hallway. She pauses as the door clicks shut, waiting for it to give a chime, and turns to you with a sigh. She looks pretty. You had to rush a bit once she emerged from her office, and after taking care of the other chores you found it difficult to focus on her makeup, but you’re proud enough of your work given the circumstances. You’ve managed to match her eyeshadow to her pantsuit with gentle oranges and reds.

Since you were rushing to finish everything in time, the two of you hadn’t had a chance to exchange words. Perhaps you are curious — just a little — about the emergency she had to quell over the phone. Or maybe you just want a proper thank you. So you linger beside her in the well-lit hallway, you let your eyes wander to a potted fern in the corner by the elevator, wait for Hyejin to say something.

“I’m sorry,” she says, sighing. She glances at you through her lashes.

Your eyes go wide. “Hm? What for?”

“For having you do all of that,” she says, flitting one manicured hand. “I feel guilty.”

You shake your head. “No,” you say with a smile. “It’s no problem at all, honestly. You had me booked for an hour and a half anyway.”

She sighs again. “I really feel bad.”

“Don’t worry about it…,” you say, eyeing her. She crosses her arms, vexed, and purses her lips a little. “Um…was that call about an artist?” you ask.

She snaps back to herself, glancing at you. “Oh? Yes. That was about our biggest artist actually,” she says. “I think I’ve got it taken care of though, thanks to you.” She guides the two of you to the elevator. “I’ll pay you extra, alright?”

You laugh. “No, no. It’s fine! I’m just glad it all worked out.”

She stares at you, scanning you for a very long moment as the elevator rises to your floor. You try not to fidget, not to shrink under her scrutiny, but you feel yourself recoiling just a little. Her gaze is intense, knowing, as if she can see right through you and she’s looking for something. And as the elevator arrives, she gives a hum that sounds contented and you wonder if she’s found it.

Jungkook glances around the empty pavilion, scanning the cobbled streets for any sign of escape. From above, a dark mage is laying waste to the small shanty town. Not a single player has ventured out this way, all following a lead in the Elysian Forest to the west. But after you had mentioned a tip you got from researching at the Library of Arcana, you’d suggested visiting the seaside nook on the far south of the map. A legendary evil slumbers hidden, you’d recited over voice chat with a laugh, Sounds about right.

Only now, Jungkook’s alone. His hands are sweaty around the controllers in his palms and the realistic graphics are serving only to make him more nervous as the mage swings low near the central fountain and sets off a spray of fire just in front of him. Jungkook can almost feel the heat.

Jungkook had set out to do some scouting. Nothing extreme. Just a simple peek about, seeing if he could find any clues. He sent a message to the group chat, but he hadn’t waited on a response before he signed in. He’d had no idea that the Big Bad herself would come flying from the fountain the moment he touched the water with his sword. And now she’s circling him like some sort of hawk. Quickly, Jungkook calls up his inventory menu and searches through his items. A few extra swords he picked up, some ritual herbs, his old chainmail armor, some healing potions and…

The fragment…

If this mage takes him out, he’ll end up dropping his entire inventory. Including the fragment.

And by the time he can make his way back over here, other players will have come running from the commotion.

And the fragment will be gone.

“Shit,” he hisses out, dismissing the menu and focusing back on the mage as she releases a chilling cackle.

The quaint village is smoking, with thatched roofs catching fire and whole storefronts crumbling into piles of simmering stone. The sky is nearly blotted out with ash, and all he can see is that mage, swirling around up there in billowing black robes and shiny white teeth exposed in a wicked grin.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder toward the street he’d taken in to the village, but it’s too smokey to see anything more than the outlines of ruined buildings. There’s no way he’ll be able to navigate his way out of here without a lantern. And if it’s this smokey, he’s absolutely positive that nearby players have noticed. Which means more competition.

And more people to snatch his fragment when he falls.

The mage gives a cry, shouts her line, “Not enough yet?!”, and swoops down at a dizzying pace. Jungkook stumbles back, but he’s not fast enough. She’s approaching in a dark blur, too quickly for him to counter. A flash of regret washes through him as he squeezes his eyes shut inside his VR headset. He doesn’t want to see this.

He waits for a tense moment that way, anticipating the melancholy piano chords that accompany in-game death, but none come. Instead, he hears very keenly the sound of the mage grunting as if in pain. And, in an instant, he opens his eyes wide to see standing on the other side of the fountain, a small, white-haired mage, staff searing with frost and ice as the dark mage clutches her chest.

His heart kicks up. “Nova!” he calls to you.

You turn toward him and, to the extent that you’re able in a video game, square him with a sour look. “You moron!” you shout back.

But he can’t help his grin as he stares at your character. “How’d you get here so fast?”

You launch another ball of ice toward the dark mage, sending her hovering just above the cobblestone in front of the fountain. “I saw your message and figured you’d already gone ahead like an idiot so I logged on right away.”

He laughs, but you’re too focused on dealing ice damage to reciprocate. It seems of all his allies, you’re the best equipped to deal with a dark fire mage. He notices in your hand the staff you wield has changed. Where before you used a gnarled tree root with a rune, now you’re swinging a cool white metal staff with a glowing blue gem.

“New staff!” he calls, pointing.

You nod. “Mhm. The schematic from last time,” you say, dealing another blast. The dark mage falls to the ground, groaning. Jungkook is too excited to see you to notice his cue to act, but your head is very much in the game and you jerk your staff toward the fallen mage. “Well? You gonna slash her or what?”

Jungkook stiffens, jumping back into action. He hoists his sword and lunges, giving the mage a few good hits before recoiling back as she rises into the sky once more. The dark mage sends out a barrage of wild, uncontrolled fire that manages to miss Jungkook and hit you.

“Shit!” you call, pausing to glance through your inventory like Jungkook had before. “Dammit! I’m out of health potions,” you say. He notices your health bar is looking low.

“Why are you so hurt?” he asks as you rush toward him.

You sigh. “I ran into some boars in the woods on the way over here and they drained my health a little.”

“Shit,” Jungkook repeats.

“Yeah,” you say, watching as the dark mage readies another spell. “This is why I wanted all of us to go here together.”

“I know,” Jungkook says, his cheeks flaring hot. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh again. “Don’t worry,” you say, flitting your hand. “I’m sure you didn’t mean to start the battle.”

Jungkook is quiet, thinking. You’d always been this way. From the first time the party played together, you’d been generous with him. With everyone. When Tiki fell in the party’s first battle against some goblins, you’d been the one to retrieve his stuff and give up your armor for him. When Zero — the richest player by far — forgot about your scheduled meeting to gather supplies, you’d paid for everyone’s health potions and weapon repairs in his stead.

He shook his head. “No, I shouldn’t have gone off on my own.”

“No you shouldn’t have,” you say, humming. “You need to remember you’ve got a whole team of people who have your back.” He can hear a smile in your voice.

“I-,” he begins, but you cut him off.

“Alright, here’s what we’ll do for now. She’s at half health, so I’ll just wail on her with my ice until she’s within melee range and then you slash her,” you say with a nod. “And if I fall, I fall. Hopefully by then she’ll be low enough health that you can finish her off alone.”

“No, no. If it comes down to it, I’ll take the hit. I’ve got more HP and you’re the one who can do ranged attacks anyway,” Jungkook replies.

There’s no more time to argue, however, because the dark mage turns her fiery eyes toward the two of you and screams before pointing her staff right at Jungkook. Startled, Jungkook glances over at you to see you’re watching too. Neither of you has a chance to say anything before the blast hits, sending the two of you flying back against the fronts of buildings turned to ashy rubble. You let out a shocked gasp through Jungkook’s headset and, as the dust settles, he turns to see your health bar is dangerously low.

“Oh!” he shouts, pulling up his inventory. “Let me grab a health potion! You can have it—,”

“Alright, now I’m pissed,” you interrupt, sidling up to the fountain with measured steps. You consult your inventory and heave a sigh. It seems like you’re mulling something over, but it’s impossible for Jungkook to know what exactly is on your mind. “Use your health potion, Saph!”

He stares at the back of your character’s head, at the capable set of its shoulders. And he feels somehow like he’s really looking at you. The real you. Silhouetted against grey smoke, with a dark mage glowing black and orange in the air above you, he can’t help but think you seem…really cool.

He recalls what you said before. That he has a team of people who have his back.

You grumble something under your breath before deftly swinging your staff around a few times and launching a powerful icy blast toward the mage. She cries out and before she can ready another spell, you’re hurling another ball her way.

“Whoa! Nova, how’re you doing that so fast?” he asks.

“Shut up and heal now!” you shout, and he’s quick to oblige.

You send another blast toward the mage’s chest, and it’s just enough to get her in melee range. But as you do, the staff you’re holding shatters and breaks into shards. The force of the break seems to have some kickback, and you take a few points of damage as you stumble back half a step. You’re down to your very last HP.

“Oh my God! Did it break?” Jungkook asks, stunned.

“Go hit her!” you bark.

Jungkook sends his character rushing the mage once more and gets in a few heavy hits with his sword, pressing furiously on the controllers and moving his arms about wildly in his chair.

He expects her to fly back into the air. Rinse and repeat until she’s finally dead. But this time, perhaps since she’s so low on health, the dark mage simply hovers in front of him. Quickly, she swings her staff back and rears it forward once more, the black orb embedded in the top glowing red.

“She’s gonna hit you!” you shout, and in his shock Jungkook can only turn to look at your character.

Before he can blink, however, you’ve blurred in front of him in a flash of white hair and when the dark mage deals a mighty, close-ranged fire attack, you take it straight to the stomach.

And just like that, your character blinks out of existence, spilling your entire unequipped inventory on the steaming cobblestones in front of Jungkook’s steel shoes.

“Nova?” he calls out, but of course you can’t answer. You’ve warped back to the nearest infirmary somewhere past the woods.

He curses underneath his breath and swings his sword a little wild once, twice, three times until, at last, the dark mage lay prone on the ground, wailing ghostly. She lets out one final scream before withering into pixels. And there, beside your lost inventory, is a canvas loot bag. Jungkook grabs it and pulls from inside a multi chrome shard, glinting in the light refracted through smoke. He examines it. There’s no doubt. It’s a Philosopher’s Stone fragment. Which means your hunch was right.

It also means your party it one step closer to completing the legendary stone, receiving more gold than any of you could ever spend, maxed out HP, and a permanent plaque in Central Square with all of your usernames.

Jungkook sighs as he puts it away in his inventory. He scans through the other loot. A crossbow, some alchemical herbs, and an Imperial Knight’s sword. He pockets everything and, pausing to save, immediately logs off and yanks the headset from his eyes. He drops his controllers, removes his gloves, and sets the sensor jacket aside as he reaches for his phone on his studio desk.

He types in your name in his contact list and calls you right away. Lucky for him, you answer on the second ring.

“Did you get her?” you ask, not sparing even a moment for hellos.

Jungkook stutters a little like an old engine firing up before replying, “Dude what the hell did you do that for?”

You sigh. “I figured you’d have a better shot killing her since I broke my staff.”

“Yeah, but why'd you break your staff?”

“How else were we gonna get her down?”

Jungkook is quiet for a moment. “You spent a long time crafting that, didn’t you?”

You hum. “Not too long.”

“Liar,” he says, but you don’t reply. After a few moments of silence, Jungkook sighs. “I got her.”

He hears you laugh through the phone, followed by a satisfied exhale. “Hell yeah! Then it was worth it.”

“I got the fragment too.”

“She had it!”

Jungkook can’t help but smile a little, staring at his computer screensaver. “Mhm,” he says. “Thanks for taking the hit. I would’ve dropped the first fragment if she’d gotten me.”

You pause. “Oh, you had the first fragment on you?” you ask.

And Jungkook realizes something crucial as the words come crackly through his phone. You didn’t know he was holding it. You didn’t know he could have lost it. You’d jumped in front of that mage not to save the fragment in Jungkook’s inventory, but to save him. He swallows hard, because the silly, stupid sentiment of it makes his eyes a little misty.

“Um…yeah, I did,” Jungkook says slowly, as if testing cold waters.

You sigh. “Why’d you go on your own anyway?”

Jungkook’s shoulders pinch like he’s been struck. Truthfully, he’d logged on after a particularly frustrating call with Seokjin. After begging his manager to let him out of his contract with IJBC, Jungkook had been forced not only to continue working with Director Lim, but to keep good behavior lest the company seize their promotions of his previous album. But after chatting with you, Jungkook’s work is the furthest thing from his mind.

“Um…some issues with my work were getting to me so I figured I’d scout around a little,” he says. “Sorry I didn’t wait for you guys to tell me not to go.”

You laugh. “Turned out okay in the end,” you say easily. “But…your work?”

“Yeah…”

You’re quiet for a moment. While the silence isn’t awkward, it certainly feels thoughtful. “You don’t talk much about your job, so…I guess I was just curious. Like…what sort of issues…,” you continue, voice trailing off.

Jungkook thinks for a moment. What can he safely share without divulging too much? “Um, it’s…like this guy I’m working for is just kind of a dick,” he says, nodding once. “He’s awful to the employees and he’s been firing staff who piss him off. Just the other day he almost fired two people because they ran into me.”

“Oh?” you say, pensive. “So you’re pretty high up then?” you start, then let out a soft grunt and a laugh. “Sorry, I’m prying. Um…he sounds awful. It’s been bothering you working for him?”

Jungkook nods and picks at the skin around his thumb. “Yeah,” he says. “It’s only for a few months, but if it’s this bad after only a few days I don’t really know what to expect. I’m thinking about quitting somehow.”

“Well,” you begin, and Jungkook can hear the sound of things shuffling on the other side of the phone. “Here’s how I see it. If you quit, that’s one less person looking out for the people below you, you know?”

“Hm?”

“Like…if you’re there, maybe you can do some good and prevent other people from getting fired. But if you’re gone, you can’t really help anyone,” you say, then sigh. “I dunno. Just…if you’re forced to work with the guy, I figure you can try to find a way to turn it around. Maybe make things better for the people under you.”

Jungkook is quiet for a long, pregnant moment. He lets your words seep into his skin like a plant photosynthesizing. He really chews on them. “I…I guess I hadn’t thought about that.”

You hum. “It’s okay. I can understand how working with someone like that would be really hard,” you say. “But…imagine how hard it is for the people who can’t just up and leave? The folks who have to sit there and take it and don’t have the option to quit, you know?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, brows furrowing. He crosses his arms. “That’s true.”

“I mean, obviously you’re an adult and can do whatever you want, but…I dunno, I guess it would be pretty cool of you to stick around and try to help where you can,” you say. Before Jungkook can respond, however, you gasp. “Oh! I got a text from a client.”

“Oh? Who?” he asks.

“Ah, a woman named Kim Hyejin. She works for some entertainment company or something,” you say, and Jungkook’s blood runs cold.

Kim Hyejin. As in Rooftop Entertainment’s Kim Hyejin? As in Jungkook’s manager’s boss? The reason Jungkook can’t quit? He shakes his head, swallows the lump that’s growing in his throat, tries to silence the incessant thumping in his heart. It can’t be her, right? Surely not. But…really, how many Kim Hyejin’s work for ‘some entertainment company’ and require personal makeup artists? Even if the name is common, that’s just too sensational.

“O-Oh…um…is she the client you saw this morning?” Jungkook asks, but his mouth feels cottony. If you, of all people, were to somehow find out about him…

He shakes his head to clear it.

“Mhm, hold on a sec I’m trying to read it,” you say.

Jungkook doesn’t want to hold on. He doesn’t want to sit and wait for you to answer. He wants to end the call and throw his phone on the futon. He wants to take a long walk around the company building. He wants to delete his Arcana account.

But something keeps him on the line, like a string wrapped around his chest. He’s captive to your every word, desperate to know what Kim Hyejin has to say to you. Has she perhaps found out about Jungkook’s online friends? About the Beast Slayers? About you? Is she reaching out to make you sign an NDA? Did she approach you under the pretense of getting her makeup done only to lure you into accepting some sort of bribe to keep his identity secret?

Is she going to force you to stop contacting him…?

“Holy shit,” you say under your breath.

“What? What is it?” Jungkook says, too quick, too breathless.

You scoff. “Holy shit.”

“Please tell me,” he begs, voice frail. His hands are shaking.

Just when he’s found a group of people who he can connect with, who he can play with, who he can feel comfortable with, something has to come in and ruin it. Jungkook’s heart aches with the dread of anticipation.

“Dude,” you begin, but he can tell you’re smiling. “She just offered me a job on a TV show.”

Jungkook feels that same chill from before creeping up his spine like frost across a windowpane. “What show?” he asks.

If not a premeditated approach, then this has to be…

“Give Up Generation.”

Some sort of divine joke.

[low-budget-korra]

The first text I made was over 2,000 words so I’ll try to summarize it.

First I'm going to talk about what I think is Bury Your Gays and poor writing of minorities.

For me, Bury your gays is when certain productions kill the lgbt character for the sake of shock value, often in the most stupid ways possible. A famous example of this was what happened to Lexa in the 100. When it feels like the character only died because he is gay.

And for me, poor writing for minorities (poc, lgbt, people with disabilities ...) can be characterized as:

1. Productions that want to portray the image of progressives and put a poc or lgbt character (which are the most common cases) without personality, unimportant, without development ... Character that are just there for decoration

2. When they even create an interesting character but soon create a reason to kill him to shock the audience. Kill them because they are poc.

And for me having a poc or lgbt character (since these are the boxes where I identify with) interesting, important ... this is the word: Important! whether it is important directly in the plot as a protagonist who carries the story or a supporting role with a good role on the story and a good development, it is much more significant than a character forced only for certain productions not to be accused of racism, sexism or lgbtphobia.

Of course, each case is different. I will now comment briefly on Atomic Blonde, The Last of Us part II and The Legend of Korra.

In Atomic Blonde we have the death of Delphine, a lgbt character who has generated some discussions about being a "bury your gays". I don't particularly agree because I believe that if she were a man or straight, she would die anyway. Since the protagonist's other love interest had died in the beginning and he was a heterosexual white man, and because the character of Delphine, despite being a spy, did not belong in that work or life style . Something even commented by herself. She was an inexperienced agent in the worst possible scenario to be one . But i now understand and why some people still think It was bury your gays.

In The Last of Us part II I saw many people complaining about the death of Jesse, Yara and how Lev was just a supporting character. The Last of Us part II .... a game that is not afraid to kill loved characters without any ceremony simply because in that world, one mistake can cost your life. Regardless of gender, sexuality, age, skin color ...

Jesse and Yara played Asian American characters and died. Mel, Joel, Owen ... were Caucasian, cishet characters who died too. None of them die because they are asian american or caucasian, they die cuz that world is fucking ruthless.

And about Lev not being important just because he is an supporting character... First that he is for Abby what Dina is for Ellie, both of them are extremely important support for the protagonists and Interesting characters with their own internal struggles and development. I think it is very unfair to throw this away with the argument like: "ah, but he is not the protagonist so it is not important"

And still about The Last of Us part II we are talking about a game and for those who do not know the gamer community is toxic, full of sexism, racism, lgbtphobia ... And the game developers had the balls for not only make two protagonists women outside the steryotype of femme fatalle or defenseless love interest(still very present in games) and one of them a lesbian, but also introducing an important trans character in a mainstream high-budget game.

People, until recently the only image we had of women in games was that of a busty model running around, made purely to please male players, good and important black, asian and lgbt characters was really rare or just didnt exist at all.

And today we have characters like Ellie, Lev, Kassandra (AC Odyssey), Jill Valentine and Claire Redfield who were reimagined more humanely in the remakes of Resident Evil, Lara Croft herself in the 2013 Tomb Raider remake, Max and Chloe(Life is Strange), Lee and Clementine(TWD from telltale), Marcus (Detroit Become Humam ), Connor (AC3) ... I know, there is still a long way to go until we have achieved the equality and representativeness that we want in the world of games but we are advancing. They may be a baby step but they still are steps forward. We should continue to support this initiatives and demand better representation.

Now about The Legend of Korra ... Reading the comments in the post i get the feeling that people were much more angry with Bryke for being cishet than with questions related to the narrative.

It bothers me the fact that it seems that whoever made the posts (originally from twitter) did not watch avatar or simply watched without paying attention. It was NEVER about Korra needed suffering but about finding Meaning in suffering. And yes, they are two different things.

When in the end Korra is talking to Tenzin, about understand the why she had to go through all that , for them be abble to be more compassionate of others. That shit is real. When you have a panic attack , for exemple, you become more abble to help someone who also suffers from that. Or when some people lose someone for a disease or acident and choose to become a doctor to help others, wanting no other person had to go through that pain... In this case, the person didnt have to lose someone to be a doctor but maybe after saw all the fight that the doctors put in to save someone and the pain of losing someone may have made the person spend the rest of his life saving people. Get It?

And in Avatar, both TLA and TLOK, people have suffer.

Aang: Cast aside by his friends when people discover he was the Avatar. Runaway and lose all of his people. Had to see the devastation for himself and find the bones of his friend and possible father figure. Almost die a few times. For many years had the weight of been the last of his people. And in a part of the journey, lost Appa.

Sokka and Katara: Lost their mother. Their dad leave to fight and possible die in the war. Sokka was only a teen when he was the man responsable for his tribe. Katara had the weight of being the only waterbender of her tribe and be the only one that could calm Aang once he was in Avatar State.

Toph: as a blind kid, her parents think of her as someone unable to do anything. Had to choose between save Appa or save the others in some point of their journey

Zuko: When i start with him?

Azula: oh Boy...

Iroh: Lose is only son. Had to see his brother burn Zuko's face. And Zuko betrayed him, kind of, in the end of book2.

Asami: Her mom was murdered , maybe even in front of her. Her dad was a evil genius. She probably suffered with Korra in those 3 years.

Mako and Bolin: They grow up as orphans on the streets...

I could go on and on, dude, even the cabbage man had suffer from losing his cabbages over and over.

But all of the sudden, Korra now had to have plot armor or else Bryke is wrong and are terrible people.

Everybody loves to talk about how perfect Zuko's arc and development is. Zuko, who was one of the characters who most have suffered in the show. But for him all was necessary, had meaning, perfect storytelling and structure but with Korra.... "She cant suffer cuz she is brown"

And its not like Bryke was making something up outta nowhere just to torture the character. All she face it was a consequence direct or indirect of her actions and actions of other people.

Amon and the Equalists? Aang didnt kill Yakone nor put him in prison for life, just took his bending. Yakone was a terrible father, and one of the reason Amon hate bending (even himself been a waterbender) so much to the point of him do what he did. The same to Tarrlok. He turn his sons into monsters. And the triads only help them, because they use their bending to rob the non benders.

Vaatu? Look up The Beginning epsodes because this one is more complex.

Unalaq? Look, the worst villain of Avatar. But he took advantage of things that happen as consequences of the ending of book1

Zaheer? Direct consequence of that happen in the finale of book 2.

Kuvira? Direct consequence of things that happen in book 3

Again, i could go on and on and go deeper on all that. But this is already getting to big.

But what pissed me off most is ... Look im years in this fandom. As a Brazilian i saw and read stuff from the fandom here in my country and the fandom here in Tumblr. And in those years i read so much about how Korra journey help people overcome their struggles with ptsd, anxiety, depression...myself included. How much Korra was important to lesbians and bissexuals girls, especially girls of color.

And them we have those few people throw shit on all this and "cancel" you for not agree with them...

The Legend of Korra ended 2014, 6 years ago and still is so loved, so important to so many people, for the most diverse reasons.

For a cishet, Bryke did a amazing job creating this amazingly beautiful universe. With the most diverse inspirations, coming from places that are forgotten on western media. But i guess its easier criticize, and cancel them and the show than do what they did.

I know that sometimes we just wanted a scape from our difficult reality but seriously, if you Just want a movie/tv show/book...100% happy, rainbow and sunshine with no suffering at all, stick with the fanfics because even romcons sometimes have their among of "i you make you cry and suffer" kind of shit.

Suffer is present in our life and what a lot of movies/tv shows/games/books...try to do is bring our struggles and our suffering into them. Why? Its easier have simpathy for characters who look like us, characters who had been through the same stuff as us.

Is so difficult talk those things in another language. I always feel like i didnt express myself right. And im really sorry if i offended anyone, it wasnt my intention.

[yuzurk]

[12.10.20] LIVE NOW : CHOI YENA 1ST SOLO VLIVE 

Yuzu is a little nervous as soon as she goes live. She had done this several times but vlive was a whole different platform she had to familiarize herself with first before being able to make it work as naturally as she did with twitch. Making sure her connection was stable and the frame well captured, she continued to hold on for several seconds, double checking everything and watching people pour in. “I feel so naked without my load out-,” she muttered under her breath in English, spotting most of the chat consisting of fans that had found their way here through her announcement on twitter.

She didn’t know how many fans of heartz would actually join this stream and it was a shame she had to talk in Korean for the most part through it even though her fanbase consisted mainly of international fans but she would have to work with the limited options she’s been given.

When she was sure that there was a good amount of people in the audience she leaned back and clapped her hands together after inhaling a deep breath. “Sup everyone, this is Choi Yuzu and yer not watching Choi’s Choice,” the ex-streamer joked, a laugh escaping her lips. “Before we begin- my vlives will be mostly in Korean. With me being an idol in the korean industry now, I have to re-shift my focus. To those who don’t understand Korean- do not worry. Each of these streams will be equipped with English subtitles eventually and I can read and translate your comments if you want to be a part of the life audience. Sadly, this is the most I can do as of now, I apologize,” she announces, her hands still folded together as she bows her head. When she looks up again, there are already comments pouring in from sad emojis to people saying they understand and some confused Koreans asking what the heck was going on and why she was talking in English. So Yuzu went ahead and really kicked off her first vlive als Heartz’ Yena.

“Alright. Here I go- Let me introduce myself properly-,” she begins in korean, her head nodded once. “My name is Choi Yena, I’m the October girl and final member of Heartz 1/3! I used to be a streamer in the gaming and variety field and trained under Samsung for about a year prior to debut. I was born on the 29th September 1999, blood type A, going by the nickname Yuzu. So dun hesitate to call me that! Born in Daegu, been to primary in Japan and middle school in Canada. I came to seoul ‘bout two years ago, straight after High School. I love Games and all sorts of performing. I speak Japanese, Korean and English. It’s a pleasure to meet y’all. Please look after me well,” she introduces herself, tossing the most important facts back at her new audience right after.

“I believe I got... all important things done...,” she murmurs, looking down at her checklist before gazing back towards the chat to see the comments pouring in. People greeting her, calling her cute and funny made the girl smile a little and grin to herself. “Heh. Oh- the other members? I think they went back to the dorm already. I stayed behind to go live... eh?” Right as she says that the door slides open, revealing Luda ( @rkxluda ) who tiptoed her way into the room with a box of food. “Eonni? For me? I thought you’d gone back- ye I’m already live,” she informs the other with a grin in her voice, waving her in and tugging her over. “Before y’leave say hi, real quick!” The two girls wave at the cam together, Yuzu chuckling at how embarrassed Luda seems to be for interrupting her solo vlive. So she lets the elder female scurry away quickly and looks at what she had left the streaming girl. “Oh.... this... I love this- eonni brought me one of my fav foods ‘cause she knew I’d stay back to stream.” Opening the lid carefully Yuzu tilts her head back in bliss after inhaling the beautiful, yummy scent. “Woah... hold on I gotta do this properly-,” she declares, placing her chop sticks down before rolling the sleeves of her jacket up and then putting her cap the other way around to have her face free of any possible disturbance. 

Only then she picks her chopsticks back up and claps her hands together. “Temporary mukbang intermission. I’ll eat well~,” the girl sing sungs before digging in carefully, the hot noodles tasting amazing but still hot in her mouth. “Hmm so hot- but so good.” Struggling through the first bite, she takes a moment to swallow the bite before she pokes her chopsticks into her noodles again. “Luckily the eonnis can cook well- I’m a huge mess in the kitchen. The closest to a good cook I am is playing overcooked,” she admits, a smile widening across her lips before she munches down another mouthful. While chewing she goes back to check the comments, one of them making her smile.

FoxyIrishka ( @rkirina ) : when are you buying me a box of premium grade beef

“Soon. I ain’t forget, Irishka. Dunno when I’ll have time now but it’ll happen,” the ex-streamer promises to her gamer buddy, holding up her pinky to seal the promise. Irina isn’t the only of her friends she sees in the chat and it warms her heart. Especially Chaewon ( @chaewonrk ) makes her almost snort out her next mouthful again. Instead she smiles, hamster cheeks on full display as they remain puffed up with food. “I see ya Chaewonnie~ This girl’s an amazing guitarist. We played in a band together- right! I forgot to talk ‘bout 6tunes!” The female sits up with a start, grabbing her own phone and pulling up one of the few original songs they released. “I used t’play in a band as drummer n’ vocalist. We released a few original songs before we had to disband. Chaewonnie was there- n’ my big brother too- Sungmin Oppa ( @rksungmin ) ... he’s- ah there he is! I saw you in the chat earlier, hi oppa~,” she greets, waving at the camera with a chuckle. 

“Yeees I’m eatin’ well- see,” she holds up her half finished dinner before looking through her library for a 6tunes song. When she finally found one, she held the cover to the lens, making sure people could see it properly. “If y’wanna give it a listen, go and check it out!” Not certain if she was allowed to play music not made by samsung artists she decided to not play it for now and instead continued on. On the topic of music it’s then she spots her namesake.

( @rkyena ) "hi yena-ya it's yena unnie~ congrats on your debut!! will you sing a song you've enjoyed lately?"

“Ah- Yena eonni, thank you-,” she can’t help but chuckle. “This still is so weird- people ain’t ever gonna find me with how popular Yena eonni is,” she states with a chuckle before munching down another bite. “Luxe sunbaenim is too powerful... eonni is it ‘kay if I tell my fans t’ tag my posts with Yuzu instead- otherwise I ain’t ever find ‘em if I wanna go lookin’,” she asks the idol, an amused smile on her lips while she continues to eat. Receiving an okay in return she pretends to breathe a huge sigh of relief. “You heard her guys- Yuzu it is! T’get back to yer question doe eonni,” she continues, reaching for her phone again. “I’ve been listenin’ to convex new release a lot lately. I really like Jinwook ( @rkjinwook ) sunbaenim’s solo ‘Simple’! It’s a really nice song- I love it a lot.” 

Watching the reactions she kind of pursed her lips together when various people asked her to sing the song right now. Inhaling and exhaling a long breath, she couldn’t help but feel like it was a request she should fulfill. “Ah- I can sing a little... I’ll do the chorus-,” she gives in, pulling the lyrics up and deciding to do a simple accoustic version solely because her voice was too soft to keep up with the instrumental and jinwook’s voice in the background. Towards the end of the chorus she gets shy at people calling her voice lovely and beautiful. She spots Xiao among them and immediately feels soft again how she can seemingly transition from one field to another and still keep some of her faithful fans. Hiding her smile behind her phone she can’t help but chuckle shyly. “Ah lleexiao ( @xiaoxrk ) enough y’gonna make me blush,” she admits cheekily, waving the compliments off before hunching her shoulders up as she cringes a little. 

She’d have to learn to get used to these kind of compliments.

Leaving people to gush about her a little longer she decides to finish her food and just peeks at the comment section once in a while. It’s during one of those times she sees Kiwi in the chat as well, his request causing her to snort internally. Of course he would. “KingKiwi ( @rkxkikwang ) - please do a kda cover... okay. I’ll get to that. Got just the person in mind I could ask t’help me with that. Keep a look on insta,” the idol teases, wiggling her brows. Next she spots Wendy ( @rkwendy ) as well among those commenting on her voice, praising her for her progress and that she was proud of her debuting at last. “Ahw eonni- thank u so much. Still got long ways t’go compared to u doe,” she tags on immediately. “Wendy eonni is such a great vocalist- Androma is full of so many beautiful n’ talented girls- if you’re not a fan of them- go check ‘em out right after this stream, okay?!” Insisting on this she points her finger to the camera, narrowing in on it before backing away once more to finish her food. “Okay, cool.”

“I’m planning to actually do more vlives if I manage to find the time... one of the series I’d like to get kicking is actually related to gaming and I’ll have an androma girl with me for those,” the ex-streamer continues to tease as she wraps up the empty box and her used chopsticks. “So y’can look out for that too!” Drinking a sip of soda the female comes quiet while she reads more comments. Among her friends still being noisy and her old streaming fans yelling about more gaming content she can see some new names and comments being tossed her way. One of them catches her interest in particular.

zuzuruhanyu: say "maganda ako" 

The female furrows her brows, head tilting to the side. “What does that mean? Can I even say that on a live broadcast?” For a second she ponders over it, typing the words into a google translator to see what it would spit out at her.

“I’m beautiful- is that what it means? Won’t that be a little vain of me to say,” she inquires with a chuckle. “I’m tempted to call someone who I know knows Tagalog to confirm Google Translate isn’t failing me-,” she wonders out aloud. In the end she sends him a quick message beforehand, just to warn him and ask if she could call him really quick to ask something. If she was already boosting her connections, she may as well continue to go and do that. With the okay given Yuzu calls up Johnny’s ( @rkjohnny ) number and puts him on speaker. She grins when he picks up and some people seem to actually get a clue who she just called.

“Johnny Oppa? You know Tagalog, right? Does ‘maganda ako’ mean I’m beautiful?” A grin on her lips she listens to him chuckle and confirm the information she dug up via google translate. Replying with a simple hum as he inquires if the chat asked her to say it, she lets the smile widen across her lips as he reassures her that she can say it live without getting into trouble.

“Ahh okay oppa, thanks!” Before she can hang up the call though, Johnny requests of her to do the ‘dalagang pilipina’ pose which leaves the female confused all over. “What’s that?” A pic of Johnny doing it along with an explanation follows not too long after and Yuzu can’t help but laugh. “Can I pleaaaase show this pic to the viewers,” she asks with a chuckle in her voice. When Johnny gives a confirmed chuckle right back she turns her phone to show it to the camera, still chuckling away. “Doesn’t he look like the perfect maiden?” 

Cackling at her own wording she turns her phone back to herself. “Are y’watchin’ the vlive right now? I’mma do it,” she announces before going ahead and doing it, wiggling her brows for extra added effect. “this good? am I doin’ this right?” When Johnny chuckles out a confirmation, Yuzu feels herself grinning back proudly. “Alright cool. I’mma hang up then now, ye? Thanks again, Oppa. Bye!”

Looking back at the chat and having people wonder how she knew all these idols, Yuzu had to think twice how she wanted to go about this. She had wanted to avoid being compared to Jieun but not wanting to look like she was flexing and flaunting all her connections right upon reveal she had to explain somehow.

“I know most of them from before they were idols through my cousin, Song Jieun. She used to be a Samsung trainee and her connections are crazy. She told people to look after me when I first came to Seoul ‘cause she was worried ‘bout me. Everyone’s been really kind to me and looked after me well, so I feel very spoiled and grateful.” A smile on her lips she nods her head calmly. 

She comes quiet again as she reads more comments, smiling at the reactions and responses she gets even if some of them call her out for riding on her cousin’s connections. To avert the topic she jumps at a comment from whom she knows to be her boyfriend ( @rkohsehun ) lurking on an alias that she admittedly has to sigh at internally. she really did love her stupid noodle.

"seahoney says: congrats on your debut !!! any new / laid back games you'd recommend?"

“hmmm,” she tilts her head, leaning back to think for a second. “with debut preparations and promotions I haven’t had much time to game much. I really do like the fall and halloween update for animal crossing new horizons but genshin impact has also been my go to game when I’m in the car headin’ to schedules. ‘s got everythin’ put together from what you’d love ‘bout open world games. the gacha ‘s a little annoyin’ but that’s gacha games for ya. the breath of the wild feel makes it a whole lotta different to any gacha I played doe. the controls are also easy to manage so that’s a plus as well,” she reviews with a smile on her lips, grinning as some people say they wish they could see her play. 

“maybe I’ll see if any of my friends plays it n’ once we all reach high enough levels we can coop and I could stream.” at the mention of friends she also spots yoojung ( @yccjungrk ) in the chat and can’t help but grow soft immediately. “yoojungie~ maybe it’ll be a game for ya too? I haven’t given up on tryin’ to find one we can game together besides ddr,” the gamer laughs. She wishes she could express how much she misses her old roommate and best friend but not wanting it to seem like she was ungrateful, she comes quiet instead.

A gaze at the clock does tell her that it’s rather late already and the staff member supervising her also looks ready to pass out in their chair so Yuzu slides an extra soda over towards them before turning back to her comment section.

“You guys are gems... I wanna stay around longer n’ talk to everyone more but I’ll be back soon. For now I gotta head back to the dorm too and get more sleep. Please look out for us and allow me to meet you at music shows. I would love, love, loooove to see you all and show y’all my appreciation for supportin’ heartz and our first unit 1/3. We got lots of great things planed ahead for the future and are ready to gear up good, so please anticipate the future girls as well,” she concludes, hands folded together as she tilts her head to the lens, gaze soft and adoration in her eyes.

“That’s all from me for today- Yuzu aka Heartz’ Yena over n’ out!” With a salute she squints her eyes, striking a cool pose that breaks with her exhaling a chuckle before the screen does turn black at last.

[justal0wk3yg4mer]

Things I’ve Said: Detroit: Become Human (Spoilers)

Me:                                                                                                              *Player/My actions*                                                                                      Character Dialogue:

Y’all future? I am so sorry ma’am I am what you may call a button masher.

I LOVE the sound coming from my controller. Not important but, it is to me.

Conner: My name is Conner. I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.”           Me: Ah, the most famous line in this whole game. I’ve never played this game and I already know this line. Thanks memes.

Oh shit this is so nerve wrecking, I don’t want anyone to get hurt.              *A few seconds later.*                                                                                   No Daniel!!!!!! I’m so sorry!!!

Hello Kara. I am the gamer sent by boredom.

Drugs? Drugs! Oh, bad drugs. You need to get rid of that shit.

Todd is tryin’ to one up the tide pod challenge.

Did I really put an anti-depressant next to a gun?!

Carl, you’ve only be awake for a few minutes and I can tell that you are the most wise and wholesome human in this game.

Oh good another druggie. I see that twitch.

Conner is acting like a sassy New York gangster. 

This is some weird death robo orgy.

ROBO JESUS!!!!!!!!

Makeover! Now lets see. I like the white but that’s too main anime character white. Cops will notice you a mile away. Oh, I like the black. Like a cool and edgy mom.

Oh damn, Markus has that Assassin’s Creed programming.

OH NO! I lost the robo jesus coat!

Okay, all you beautiful and LIVING people stay here. I’m going to go commit a felony.

Kara, you need to put a ring on that man.

Bitch you playin’ roulette with your life?!?!?!

IT’S A BIG WOOFER!!!!!!😍

This is the best game ever. My choice of clothing is hippy, stripy, or streaky. And I am having a really hard time choosing, but since we’re going to a sex club Ima go with streaky. Very pimp like.

I’m about to be real fucking depressed if all these Jerry’s deactivate after finally seeing a little kid one last time.

I HESITATED. FUCK!!!!! 

Perkins: Androids investigating androids.                                              Me: Crazy. Like humans investigating humans. What a fucking prick.

Oh fuck, I forgot Simon.

That is the first legitimate doorbell I’ve heard in this game.

*Kara realizing that Alice is an android.*                                                        Oh shi- no I figured that out a long time to go.

*Conner becomes a devient.*                                                                       YES! Fuck off Amanda I don’t give a shit. Home boi free!

Perkins you fucking cunt.

 House: Alarm deactivated. Welcome home Markus.                               I’m gonna cry.                                                                                               *Markus and Carl reunite.*                                                                             I am legitimately crying. This is the content I need in my life.

Conner: (Cyberlife) They trust me.                                                            Me: OOF wait Conner. I’d sell Amanda for half a corn chip.

I am so confused. I’m getting the cues but I don’t know which Conner I am.                                                                                                                *Misses a cues and Conner gets kicked in the face.*                                    Me: Me. Me, that one’s me.

Fine! Next time I’ll take the damn tickets!

Power of love fuckers!!!!

Conner? Conner you good?                                                                          *Enters his now dark and snowy mindscape.*                                               Oh no, you’re not good. 

Alice, honey, angel, sweetheart. Do that shit again and I’ll have a heart attack.

*Watching the credits.*                                                                                  So sequel baiting? A final credit? What am I waiting for?                              *Hank and Conner reunite and hug.*                                                             The fields are flourishing, the sun is shining and my day has been made.

I really enjoyed this game, the characters were amazing and so diverse. The storyline was so much fun and all those choices! It was really interesting to see how certain choices affected everyone’s lives. I’m surprised with how I did. I got a pretty good ending (even though I lost Luther! 😭). This post’s word count actually concerned my roommate a little with how many times I said it and how I said it. Those of you that have played this game will understand.

I’M SO SORRY! : 356 

[ri-translates]

Translation: Itaru Chigasaki SSR [Fully Enjoying Nostalgia Park] - GAMER in NY Part 2

Itaru brings the Spring Troupe to a hobby shop and encounters the figures he’s always wanted!

NOTE: Italicized text indicates spoken English.

Part 1 || Part 3

Citron: Ohh! There’s lots of figures and merch!

Sakuya: Wooow, it’s amazing….!

Tsuzuru: He didn’t betray our expectations…

Masumi: Is this a hobby shop mainly for American comics?

Itaru: Yep. It’s a famous shop that overseas fans gather at, and I heard that even movie directors, writers, and artists come here often too.

I knew about this place a long time ago, so I thought I’d try coming here at least once if given the opportunity.

Izumi: I see…..

Chikage: It’s as if the store was made just for Chigasaki.

Sakuya: Ahh! I’ve seen this figure in a movie before!

Tsuzuru: Wow, this brings back memories. It’s an anime character who was on TV a long time ago.

Citron: I love this character! I read this comic even when I was in Zahra!

Izumi: (Everyone keeps talking about this or that. They look really excited.)

Itaru: Senpai, it’s your turn.

Chikage: Don’t just take out my wallet instantly.

Itaru: I was the resident ATM earlier, so it’s your turn next, Senpai.

Izumi: Ah, I know this character.

Itaru: Oh, that’s nostalgic. It’s from way back when the magical girl boom happened.

Izumi: When I was an elementary school kid, I bought themed pencils and notebooks. Looking at it now, it’s still really cute, huh.

Itaru: When you look at these things after becoming an adult, they get a different kind of charm to them too.

Izumi: Ah! There’s a mini figure of it over here. How cute….

What should I do? Since we came all the way here to America, maybe I’ll buy it for the memories….

Itaru: If you like it, then you should buy it.

Izumi: I’m different from you, I’m not the type to recklessly spend money, Itaru-san.

Itaru: Oh reaaally.

Izumi: Hmm….I’ll think about it for a while longer for now….Aren’t you going to buy something, Itaru-san?

Itaru: I also thought I’d buy something to commemorate coming to this store, but I’m still lost on what to get.

Shop Owner: “Welcome. Are you guys Japanese?”

Itaru: “Yes, that’s right.”

Shop Owner: “We also carry rare Japanese figures in the corner over there. Why don’t you go take a look?”

Itaru: Oh, so they’ve got rare Japanese figures, huh. Let’s go check it out.

~~~

Citron: Ohh! It’s over-freezing with treasure! [1]

Tsuzuru: You mean, “overflowing with treasure.”

Masumi: ….I feel like I’ve seen the things around this character somewhere in Japan.

Itaru: Wow, they’ve even got this here.

Ah. This is The Soaring Blue Bullet Amagami Roger.

Izumi: Soaring Blue Bullet Amagami Roger?

Itaru: A character who appears in my favorite fighting game. 

 ーー! Woah, woah, for real?

Chikage: What’s the matter?

Itaru: It’s a figure of The Jet Black Flame Swordsman the Kuudo…..!

Sakuya: Does this character come from the same game as Roger?

Itaru: Yep. He’s a character I main eternally. Even though he appeared once in the series, he’s a legendary being boasting considerable popularity.

If you actually play the game, he’s got a few quirks that aren’t very user friendly unless you’ve done some playthroughs to master using him. If you get good at using him, you can’t go back to playing any other character.

And then there’s this figure here, said to be a myth. It was marketed due to his popularity, and is quite rare since they produced a limited number of them….!

It’s a masterpiece I couldn’t get ahold of either because I lost in the cutthroat pre-order war….

Citron: Ohh, the rapid-fire rant known to nerds.

Shop Owner: “Ha ha ha, I don’t know Japanese, but somehow I get the feeling I knew what you were saying!”

Itaru: I didn’t think I’d encounter this here….I want it, no matter what…..

Chikage: Then you should buy it. Isn’t that the reason why you work?

Itaru: That’s true….It’s a rare object, and at a pretty good price too.

Tsuzuru: Umm, if you convert it to Japanese YenーーNo, wait, that figure isn’t cheap at all!

Masumi: What a rip-off.

Itaru: Mmm, but I want Roger more.

Izumi: If you had to pick one, which one do you want more?

Itaru: Definitely my main, the Kuudo.

Masumi: Then get that one.

Itaru: But I want Roger, too.

Citron: He’s so greasy… [2]

Tsuzuru: I think you meant, “greedy.”

Shop Owner: “Hahaha….Hey! Lucky boy! I’ve got pretty good news for you!”

“Actually, this shop holds a huge game tournament once every six months, and it’s opening today.”

“If you win there, you can receive any one product you’d like.”

“That figure’s included, of course.”

Chikage: ーーOr so it seems, so what’ll you do? Well, I suppose I didn’t need to ask.

Itaru: Of course I’m gonna join.

TL Notes and Comments:

[1] Citron says  ゾックゾク which can mean thrilling, shuddering, terrifying, or shivering from cold. Tsuzuru corrects him with  ざっくざく , which means “having lots of coins and jewels.” Hence. “over-freezing” -> “overflowing with treasure.”

[2] Citron says  ごーろくだよ which, translated literally is “5, 6.″ Tsuzuru’s correction is  強欲 (ごうよく), meaning “greedy.” Because they sound similar, I went with botching “greedy.” And yes, Itaru IS greasy LOL

Once again, a HUGE shout and thank you to Nui for sharing Itaru’s stories with me! And thank you to Mae for putting up with my Real Tsun Hours™ over this dork. ITARU KNOWING ENGLISH...I’M STILL NOT OVER THIS.

Sorry for the delays in posting! I-Chu Etoile Stage dropped and I’ve been rubbing my dirty hands all over to translate for my boys then school started again ;; Expect to see them on here too LOL

As always, I’m not a professional translator or localization pro so please take my translations with a grain of salt! If you spot any mistakes or translation errors, don’t hesitate to let me know! Thanks for reading!! Part 3 will be up shortly! 

Part 1 || Part 3