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idkfnok · 8 months

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11:11: Let Me Show You (p2)

Main Characters: Jehraye "Jay" Guidry; Alani "Lan" Sanders

A real slow-burn

PT 1

I get back home to Georgia after 11p.m. I lowkey wanted to call Jehraye, but I figured he would’ve been asleep. I get in my car and drive, I loved going back to N.O. but, I did miss downtown Augusta. It’s similar to a lot of places but, still aint nothing like it. I get home, take my bags up to my apartment, take a shower, reheat that white chicken chili I had left, I ate and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning around 10, with A missed call from My mama. I know she’s calling to ask about New Orleans. I made a mental note to call her later. I brush my teeth and get dressed before heading over to the Tattoo shop that Nya owns and doing a little voluntary receptionist work for awhile. I love coming to her shop. Because not only did I get free reign to the little snack bar she had. I got to interact with some cool ass people too. Nya’s a traditional tattoo artist. The people in her shop though, were cartoonist and realist, shit, she even had a traditional stick -and - poke artist too. Dymo, the Realist, actually did the portrait of my great grandma I got three years ago after she passed. All of their work was top-notch. Nya wouldn’t stand for anything else. Which showed, not only in her work, but that of the one’s she hired too.

She was always playing music too. It jumped all over the place. She went from indie artists like music by this dude named Money from Atlanta, Russ to Rodwave, Kodak black, Jacob banks, King von, Kirk franklin to Gallant and Marco Mckinnis ; all the way to Panic at the Disco and all things in between.Crazy enough, the dude “Money” is one of her best friends. Her only preference in most aspects of her life was “I like it.” Music was no different. Mari Walked in at about 11:30. I knew then, my voluntary duties were done. I got up from the desk, hugged Mari, yelled that I was leaving and made my way out of the shop and to the Mall so I can go stare at the back of Spencer’s and ponder not buying shit before I made my way to Victoria’s secret and sniffed around for perfume to buy at their semi annual sale. I picked up the Rainbow Shower, Desert Sky and Cactus Water.

What does the schedule look like for the rest of the day?

“Consultation at 11: 45, Surgery at 12:30 , then lunch ; You’re tightening Miah’s braces, check the schedule for tomorrow and we should both be outta here by 4.

Cool.”

“ So how was your wednesday?”

It was good, why you ask?

“Jaelai told me you went on a date or something yesterday morning.”

Tell yo wife to mind her business.

“My wife, yo sister.”

I bet she the one who sent Toni ass to my table.

“Nooooo. What she say?”

She was chill until I give her the tip, then she talmbout “Make sure you get yo child”

“No she didn’t”

The hell if she didn’t! had my date looking at me funny

“😂”

That shit ain’t funny. Im tryna support her and she throwing salt in the game 😂

“Toni was always fucking with you. She’s been doing it as long as she’s been with Kieran

I know. But, damn if she don’t do it at the worst times.

“Well you got the crybaby today so, be prepared.”

She never cried with me.I don’t know what you be doing to my niece but she don’t like it

“I’m her daddie.”

Maybe it’s because you white.

“I have been white her whole life.”

Ion know maybe she just like me better.

“ Yeah because you always give her what she want.”

She ten , why not?

“I feel sorry for any man who dates any of your daughters.”

Why you say that?

“Cause her like whoever her mama gonna be, is gonna be spoiled to hell. Cause you brother, are a Hopeless Romantic with a damn good job and a real love of women.”

Always. Speaking of romance, you just reminded me that I gotta call Lan once I get off.

The rest of the day went by smooth. The consultation led to another appointment next month for braces, I tightened my nieces braces and The surgery; started and finished quicker than I expected. I was outta the office by 4: 15 . I got in my car and called Alani.

“Hello.”

Hey gorgeous, how you doing?

“I’m doing aight”

That’s good. , how has your day been? Give me details please

“It was pretty good. I woke up, ate, brushed my teeth, got dressed and I went to Nya’s shop.”

Which one of your friends was Nya again?

“The one who had on the red bodycon dress.”

Okay

“ Yeah she’s a tattoo artist. I go to her shop sometimes to help and steal snacks.”

Uh huh

“ Talked to some customers and chilled until Mari got there.”

That’s the one with the red hair?

“Yep.”

Before you continue. Speaking of jobs, what do you do?

“I’m a doula.

Oh Okay, I’m a Orthodontist.

“ At 28?!”

Yes, I have been for like a year, almost two. Anyway, continue on.

“I left the shop, went to the mall and called my mama back after I left Victoria’s Secret, and i’ve been home for a few hours.

Foreal? Cool, i'm bout to Facetime you.

I press the camera icon and wait for her to answer. When she does, the first thing I notice is how shiny her lips are. She has this 90’s lip combo. You know the one with the 5% tint around the edges and it looks amazing on her. I compliment her and our conversation continues. She tells me that she is a birth doula and some of what that entails. I ain’t ever see anybody give birth but, the way she describes it makes it sound like one of the scariest and most beautiful things ever. Most of her clients are Black women, second time moms who have had terrible experiences in the hospital. From women almost dying because nurses and doctors try to write their pain off as “normal” shit.

If the person dealing with this is telling you that they can’t breathe, they have a splitting headache or can’t feel their legs long after the epidural should’ve worn off, you should listen. Hearing her recount some of these stories pissed me off. You shouldn’t fear for your or child’s life coming into the hospital. I learned some things like water births are really popular and are often more relaxing for the mother. That tidbit of information I tucked into my back pocket.

We talked about the time my tooth went through the bottom of my lip and left a scar when I was a kid, my first sexual experience at 14 that involved licking whipped cream off of some pussy once or twice. She told me about the time she ran head first into a brick wall when she was 8 and how she snorted salt up her nose when she was 13 because she “wanted to see what it felt like if she ever snorted powder.” on some wild shit. I was really enjoying the conversation. So much so, that I hadn’t realized I was home, sitting in my car for the past five hours. I looked at the time on my phone and it was 9:40 and I needed to get in the house so that I could shower, eat and go to bed.

Things continued that way for a few more days. Us updating one another throughout the day, nightly phone calls, early morning voice messages. Sending badly angled and funny looking pictures of each other from facetime calls. I've watched her get dressed and she’s watched me get undressed. We’ve fallen asleep on the phone only to wake up and one of us has hung up. And it’s usually her. We’ve given one another recipes. Her recipe for brown butter chocolate chip pecan cookies is top tier and she gave me a lot of praise on my five cheese macaroni. Before I knew it, the Thursday of our date had shown up. I woke up that morning to the reminder and was hella excited. I had been thinking about what to cook for two days now and I decided on Smothered Okra with shrimp and tomatoes over rice. I called her, told her what I had in mind; she said it sounded good and she was going to cook the same; but add chicken to it.

We Facetimed each other while shopping for food. I helped her pick out the proper seasonings and ingredients needed for the dish and advised her to pick up a bag of Basmati rice instead of “regular” rice. I picked up cut okra while she wanted the whole Okra.I grabbed a bottle of wine and she passed on that. We went back to our houses and started preparing the meal. I ain't feel like chopping onions, so I bought the pre-cut ones. She was all about the full process. She chopped her onions, peppers and all while I watched as she struggled to cut some of ‘em because she don’t know how to properly handle a knife. She more than proved my point when she sliced her damned finger, dropped the knife and probably almost cut her foot too.

Baby, be careful, please!

“I’m fine Jehraye, it’s just a little cut. The knife ain’t that sharp”

And that’s probably the problem Lan. Get you some better knives Bae.

“My knives work just fine.”

No they do not, clearly. You were struggling to cut the bell pepper.

“That’s because I don’t know how to cut shit.”

Aight, so you got one option, start buying pre-cut vegetables.

“I will not.”

Then I suggest you get on youtube and learn how to use knives because I'mma order you some new ones.

“Jay-”

No, bae you don’t wanna use pre- cut stuff, I'm getting you new knives. So go ‘head and give me A FedEx drop off, P.O. box, your address or something.

“How about this-”

If ain’t no solution in this baby, don’t even say nothing.

“How about when you come visit me, we can look at knives together.”

Aight that sounds- wait! You gonna let me come see you?!

“Yes sir. Just not until the end of the month.”

Baaaaaabbbbbbyyyy, that’s like 3 weeks away.

“You’ll be fine.”

Nuh uh…. My doctor said if I don’t see you in two weeks imma die.

“Ohhh you so dramatic 😂 yo ass is not gonna die.”

When I am touch deprived for a long time, I start to waste away into a pile of dirt.

“I can’t with you. Jehraye Guidry, you are something else.”

We talk while finishing up the food and once she turns her smothered Okra and shrimp down she announces that she’s about to get in the shower so she can get dressed and the rest of our date can continue. We hang up and about 35 minutes later she’s calling me while she finishes up the rest of her routine. I don't mind because I am also on the tail end of finishing up my hair. I choose to go with a braid out because I know she’s wanted to see my hair. She calls back when I am almost done taking out my last braid. She’s putting on lipgloss and perfume. When she looks at the camera, she gasps and says “Your hair!”

Yeah. you said you wanted to see it out so, I decided to wear it out.

“You look so cute. Now I really wanna play in it.”

Well, when I come to see you; you can play in it for a few minutes

“Why only a few minutes?”

You think Imma come to Augusta and just sit around? We gotta order knives and I wanna go to the mellow mushroom. You said it was a cool bar and I wanna see a lil bit of your city.

“But what if I wanna just lay up with you and play in your hair?”

We can do that. But, you already told me that you like rubbing on folks and I like being rubbed on. That goes on for too long, We might end up in a few more positions than you intended , and you gon be doing a hell of a lot more than playing in my hair.

“ I’m down for wherever that leads us.”

Alani

“Jehraye”

Let me be clear, you rubbing on me…we fucking.

“I understand what you’re saying.”

Yeah, but are you okay with that happening?

“Yes, I want it to.”

Aight. Listen, I've been waiting for this.

“What do you mean?”

I purposefully ain’t been jacking off for about a week.”

“Okay.”

And imma hold off until I get to you.

“Oohhhhh”

Yeah so, you better be prepared.

“I hear you.”

We sit down at our tables and begin eating. I wait to see her take her first bite. I wanted her to like it because the recipe I gave her is truly my own and I wanted to know if she fucked with it. The way my eyes lit up when I saw hers damn near bulge out of her head; the only way I coulda been any happier in that moment was if she and I were sitting in front of each other. I spooned some of the food into my mouth as she moaned satisfactorily at the first taste of my food, she had no idea she was eating. After telling her that I couldn't wait to see her, our conversation took a very sexual turn as we discussed some of the things we were and weren’t willing to do.

“How do you feel about aftercare?”

I rarely ever do it, but the times I have; i’ve enjoyed it.

“Why don’t you do it more?”

My goal is to satisfy the woman and myself, if that puts her to sleep; so be it.

“So aint nobody ever put you to sleep?”

Some have.

“Well, I expect aftercare.”

And you gon get it, if you aint sleep.

So what’s your views on sucking dick?

“I like it. I only do it like a spur of the moment thing. I don’t plan it.”

Okay. I like kissing.That’s before, definitely during and after sex.

“Me too.”’

Aight so, how would you feel if I wanted to eat yo ass?

“That’s a “no”.”

How come?

“I like to kiss, eating ass and kissing don’t usually go hand-in-hand.”

Gotcha

You can bite and choke me though

“For real?”

Yes, Guidry. I’m cool with that; spanking, and to some degree, restraint.

“Oh baby, you gonna have the time of your life.”

And another thing.

“Yes?”

I am loud, and it ain’t always cute, especially if i’m enjoying it.

“Bae, I’m trying to put you in a position where you NEED aftercare. I don’t expect it to be cute.”

Speaking of, what is a typical aftercare routine for you?

“ simple shit.Take you to the toilet, sit with you while you pee. Run you a shower, help clean you up. I’ll carry you if I have to. I’m a cuddler so, after I feel like you’re situated, I’ll clean up and cuddle you for a while. I might fall asleep, if I don’t within the hour; you can expect waffles to be made. But that is the least I would do.”

I want somewhere closer to the most you can do.

“Then you can’t fall asleep or I can do some of it during or before we fuck.”

Okay , I'm cool with that.

I’ll be honest, having this conversation with him right now, was definitely making me horny and in times like this, I am very grateful that I was born a woman. I have no doubt in my mind that if we were next to each other right now, he would be able to smell how badly I wanted to fuck him. Just thinking about it, my thighs clenched together and I felt that familiar tingle in my stomach. He didn’t help any with his hair falling into his face, licking his lips and kissing at me. The rest of that date, I was going back and forth with mindfulness and imagining what he would feel like inside of me. What his tongue and fingers felt like. What he sounds like when he moans, is he a hard or soft dom. What does he say, if anything while he’s having sex. Just then, I decided to ask.

Jehraye.

“Yes, ma’am”

Do you talk during sex?

“Yes, I do. I talk, moan, cuss, I might say something in french.

You speak French?

A little,

“Oh okay. I might make it my goal to hear some of that from you.

“ You get some French outta me, we locked in. the last person I did that with, we was together for 3 years.”

That ain’t THAT long .

“When you 17, yes it is.”

Fair point.

I don’t know why I decided to ask him that knowing it would lead me directly out of mindfulness and into fantasy land. I was still eating and talking but I wasn’t at this date. I was in my bed with this guy I just met three weeks ago, with my face buried into a pillow while he fucked me as I screamed his name in pure ecstasy. Jay must have noticed because when he finally got my attention back he said “ I’m thinking about it too and I’m bricked the fuck up, baby.” “Jaaayyy” his name comes out way more lust-filled than I intended.“ When I get ahold of you, you’ll know I meant what I said on our first date at Nana’s.” He says. “ All I ask is that you don’t run from me. If you need me to slow down or stop, that’s fine. But DO NOT RUN.” “Why not?” I ask. “ It aggravates me and I'm gonna want to punish you for it.” “How come?” “ cause if we fucking, you wanted this dick. So, unless you say “stop” or I feel like I'm hurting you, you taking EVERY inch I got.” “Damn, It’s like that Jay 🙃?” I say. He comes back with “Ion get in no pussy I don’t wanna be in.”

At that moment, I wanted this man more than I have the past few weeks. We talked some more about our personal “Do’s and Don'ts” of sex, and by the time this date was over, Jay had put his hair back up, I was wishing that I wore underwear. Maybe it was best that I didn’t. I’m not a fan of that cold shit hitting my pussy when I pull my underwear back up. Our date continues on and we finish our food. We stay on facetime for the rest of the night, of course we fell asleep on the phone. This time though I didn’t hang up and awoke to see Jay getting dressed. I watched him for a few minutes before saying “Good morning.” He looked at the camera and said “good morning bae.”

Uh uh, where you going?

“ 🙂I’m taking my nieces out for a lil bit of fun today.”

awwwww , what are ya’ll gonna do?

“They wanna go to the trampoline park and the movies.”

Okay, what are ya’ll gonna watch?

“They wanna see Tiana's Place”

Oh okay, I saw a few commercials for that.

“yeah”

Why y'all leaving so early though?

“So I can catch the matinee, These girls are pricey.”

You shouldn’t be worried about that.

“What you mean?”

The way you did and were willing to spend on me in Nola…

“Yea, now Imagine that on a slightly smaller scale, times three.”

Yep. Baby catch that matinee

Exactly 😂that, on top of gas and feeding them whatever they wanna eat when one of em, wants crumbl cookie and subway; the other one gonna want wendy’s but, a blizzard from sonic and the baby, she aint eating nothing that ain’t a 6pce nugget happy meal with apple slices and a mcflurry wit extra oreos.

Ohhh with the way you spend money, you must be a damn popular Dentist.

“I make good money but I also have a roommate so I can save a bit more.”

Oh okay. Good Well, Imma let you go so you can enjoy your day with your nieces.

“Aht aht.”

What?

“When did we start hanging up without kisses?”

I blow a kiss at the phone and Jay says “Thank you” and hangs up.

My Friday was pretty laid back. Until it wasn’t. My client went into an early labor, so I turned off Law & Order and made my way to North Augusta. When I got there I was the only part of her birthing team present. Because she hadn’t called anyone else yet. She’s one of the patients I offer free advice and to some degree birthing services to, as part of my program where I help young single mothers cope with, prepare for and assist during birth. Despite this being her second time giving birth, she was terrified. I could see it in her eyes. She feared the pain, the uncertainty and a second breech birth. About five minutes after I got there we made calls to the rest of her birthing team, and set up the pool.

We sat her in it and talked through the contractions and tried to keep her calm until it was time for her to push. I held her hand, and fed her some strawberries and ice chips while she focused on breathing and pushing. About 3 hours later Her son had started to crown. When we told her, she started crying. This baby wasn’t breech and maybe this labor would be easier. Forty-five minutes after that baby Eanion Ahzi Rivers was born. He was so adorable. We got him cleaned up and I stayed for a few hours after and took care of the baby while she rested. I Picked my phone up and saw I had 2 missed calls from Jay. Eanion’s mama was a wake so I stepped out to return bae’s calls.

“You musta been sleep.”

No. I just helped deliver a baby a few hours ago.

“For real! How’d it go? Are mama and the baby okay?”

Yes, She had a little boy.

“Awwww. How are you doing though?”

I’m fine, we were prepared for a breech birth but he came out head first and he is the chubbiest lil thing you ever did see. How was the day with ya nieces?

“ listen, next time, they can’t get the Aux.”

Why?

“I fuck with Gracie’s corner but, I wanna hear some Akeem ali, Russ, D4L, Ludacris or something while i’m driving .”

Jay, you don’t wanna know what sound the letter makes 😂?

“Hell no, I’m outta school shit 😂”

Well, It seems like you had just as good of a day as I did.

“I did. I love spending time with my nieces and nephews. I’m their favorite uncle.”

I bet you are. You’re definitely one of my favorite people.

“Awwwww, you mean that?”

Yeah.

“Aight, then sit on my face when I get to Augusta.”

JEHRAYE

“ALANI”

GUIDRY

“Quit calling me by my government like that.”

Well what do you want me to call you ?

“Jumbo dick Jay”

OMG you-

“I’m bullshiting. It ain’t that big. It’s just right for the body it's attached to.”

I bet. When are you gonna book your flight?

“Next week.”

Good, that way I can set my schedule up right. How long do you plan on staying?

“Two days.”

Okay.

“Yeah, clear that schedule.”

I will.

After that she had to go back and attend to her client. I went to hang out with Kieran and Asa. Asa, my best friend since middle school and the one who leaves me stranded on these road trips is a High School AP Calculus teacher. Kieran, my best friend since junior year of college and now roommate, is an HR consultant. Asa has always wanted to be a teacher. Despite the pay and us trying to convince him to at least go into the college sector, loves what he does. He had a hard time with math when we were little and it frustrated him so, he decided he was gonna do what he had to. He wanted math to come almost as easy to him as English and history did, and he made it happen. This nigga is one of the smartest people I know and he deserves every praise he gets. He’s worked hard for it. Kieran on the other hand, Is married; well was married to Toni and they have a 4 year old son together. My Godson Kieran Jamez “KJ” Landry Jr. He always had a thing for Toni so, when they started dating, she became his girlfriend and I became both of their friends and the third wheel. And despite going through a divorce; which I think is stupid because they clearly still love and want each other; these motherfuckas are hard headed and are hurting because they tryna teach eachother lessons. But I can’t force them together. Me and the guys hang out for a few hours and then we head to our respective homes. I get in, Call Alani, we talk for awhile and I go to sleep.

PT 1

#love #romance #fluff #smut #black woman #black couple #black man #black women #black men #black tumblr #black beauty #black ff #black woman appreciation #black writers #plus size reader #x chubby reader

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lilliumrorum · 3 months

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Okay guys weed story time *a new tradition* (Every time I am in an interesting rotation or situation I will post it)

The first time I ever got high I was 14(DO NOT SMOKE UNDERAGE YALL) and my friend had invited me back to his house after we had been in a parade for AFJROTC.

Originally we were supposed to go back to get his money and then walk back to the restaurant (which was all the way across the city from his house). On the way there, I was still wearing my Combo-1 Uniform (cap included) and this important for later in this recount of events. After nearly being attacked by a dog, we made it to his house.

He told me about how he fucked his girl and got caught (my at the time bestfriend) on the couch and I remember looking at him like ???

We went back to his room to get his wallet and I instantly smelled bud. He noticed the lil smile on my face (I had smoked before but never got high) and he was like "You wanna smoke, bubbles?" (Btw this was my nickname bc of an inside joke in ROTC)

And this is how it went:

"Sure, but nothing's gonna happen. 'Never works"

A wicked grin spread across his face as he passed me a wax pen and uttered:

"Something will happen, follow my lead. If you don't feel it you're fuckin immortal."

So as I suck the life out of his cart he puts on Rammstein and blasts it on his fucking speakers, and he makes me hold the hit in for as long as I can before I cough. THEN HE WHIPS OUT A FUCKING PEACE PIPE WITH AN AXE ON IT.

"Now you're gonna hit this, trust me that pen aint shit"

I was already beginning to feel the effects of the wax, but I trusted him.

After taking 8 hits off of the pipe he had me take 5 dabs (Fuckin love dabs) and I was starting to get paranoid.

He just took a picture and laughed at me and said he was gonna send it to his gf (my best friend at the time) and then MADE ME HIT A FUCKING BONG.

After 15 more minutes of fucking around with his guitar and fumbling about, he took me to the garage with a joint (Mike Tyson knockout strain) and a pipe and we finished them both off.

"How's life right now, Lily?"

"Oh its goooooood." I giggled with a dumb-ass smile and a thumbs up.

He laughed for like a minute straight and I was bewildered bc like pls stop this is not funny I'm new to being high and I'm trying my best to breathe rn I'm breathing manually.

So he led me outside and whipped out his phone and was like "What does it look like"

I have the video if yall wanna see it but I looked terrible

"ITS SO FUCKING GREEN HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE GTA WHEN YOU HIT FRANKLINS BONG AND THE FISHEYE CAMERA MIXED WHAT THE FUCKKKK IM TRIPPING FUCKING TESTICLES MATE."

So anyways I ended up almost getting run over two times bc I was bumbling around and my shoes were making my feet blister and he didnt make an effort to help me. After walking for four miles we finally got to the restaurant and he ordered me a wrap and bought it for me (which was really sweet) and a smoothie, but my eyes were red as shit and I needed to go to sleep so I decided to nap on the table.

There we were, still in our uniforms, but I looked higher than NASA at this point and I eventually was asked if I was alright and caught a few stares.

I ran to the bathroom bc I almost threw up.

After 15 minutes he walks in the bathroom and drags my ass out of the stall and starts fucking hollering laughing and saying shit like HAHAHA I KNEW I COULD WIN or something like that and called himself my weed demon like ?????

He barely even smoked compared to me...

My mum's name flashed on my phone and he picked it up for me and claimed I threw up at his house and I was going home (It was close to the restaurant so I would be home soon) and she was like OKAY:D and all happy bc she thought I wasn't depressed anymore since I was with a friend I guess.

After he walked me home I immediately looked down and averted eye contact with my mom and her ex and just speed walked my ass to my room with my leftovers.

I heard a quiet "I think shes high"

And just said NO. not a yell, just fuckin

NO.

and when I woke up that night I fucked up that food and smoothie and facetimed him and his gf while devouring it.

Experience rating: 7/10

Good food, Almost got killed, almost got my ass beat by my mom, guitar, good music, Indica.

@konigslittleliebling wanna share your experience with a reblog bae?

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

omg oh you got my first part?? im shocked, never seen it. so its ANOTHER part 2!! what about it? yeye this gif is so perfectly looped TT i hope the kitten is more taken aback by the unknown smell rather than the awful, absolutely terrible pain this ball gives him. but hes so cute TT 'its weird someone else has my name' ekaterina I, ekaterina II and me: *_*, *_*, *_* well.. hm.. sorry for stealing your names babygirls... yk, im proud. like hannah montana is hannah, you should be proud too! omg there IS a cat called PRINCE and you can TALK to him!!!!! omg im crying TT HES SO PRETTY TT omg you can CHALLENGE him TT he may scratch me to death 'shes not a minimum viable product' lol it was the first thing ive seen when i searched for the meaning of mvp. i dont understand your gamer slang >:( ok yes i learnt what mvp really meant but i needed to mention this mvp too. 'i aint ever reading that its too long' LOL i've read 'war and peace' and 'And Quiet Flows the Don' (tha fact they translated it like this... smart but so unfamiliar...) which is probably 3000 of pages in total... and oh.. 'The Master and Margarita' also represents hell in a way and ive read it so.. you cant mock me like this catmom TT im sorry i talk about russian literature so much but i dont really read smth else... well beside the all tumblr shit... 'i hope you only mean in the show' you never know..... 'less anxious about sending asks!!😤' YES GIRL!! i love this mood!! youre gonna do it and do it in the best way bc youre the best!! i believe in you!! no one can stand against your hot person presence!! go and talk to them! 'my body is like is this a threat CLOG THE NOSTRILS' ghdjs its kinda funny how you talk about your body as a castle which was attacked TT its kina true but still hilarious. hope you breath well lol. 'to be fair i have an electric fan open and when its night it gets colder' and i've got an opened window... youre really lucky i cant slap people. how was the movie? and what movie TT 'YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN SWEET IM LUV U SO MUCH' yk what? i take after my catmom. meomeow!! love you too<з SO listen the daemon idea..... 'BUT THIS SCENE WAS SO INTENSE' YES its also so true!! i love how alicent is the loving (lol to aemond) mother and a fair (LOL in her own way) woman, a majestic queen (lol sorry i want to say shes great but...). she said there was not enough information about alicent in the books so they kinda created some of her character and background? i think thats why alicent is so great in hotd. actresses really feel her. and emily!! i was amazed by her acting in the scene where she was like 'supporting' king in his chambers? her voice was really trembling and she looked so lost. wow. omg i havent seen tom and ewan in youtube so i absolutely forgot about them TT rip TT i like tom too. from what ive seen in tumblr and his insta i (as a judgemental person lol) think hes sweet. and im sorry but TT i used to (actually i still do) find it funny how ewan purses his lips TT IDK WHY but it makes me laugh so bad TT he seems quiet to me. 'WHICH WAS SHOCKING' lol hes got a puppy face... no his acting is good but... my judgements... theyre rarely mistaken yk.... you can love emma and can love olivia separately but their duet?? divine! theyre so ?? a match?? i even thought they may be a couple for a moment. so hope you've got a good day! and a good week!! love you! take care<З

ok i gave up on my homework and passed it /alsfhlasfhasf HAHAHAHHA

i hope i didnt do so badly HAHAHHA

anyway let me start by talking about that movie i had to watch for one of my classes. it was boring but then i made it halfway through the film and i was like wait its not that boring and part of me wanted to watch it but i decided not to continue cos i got all my answers HHAHHAHAHH

it was this movie, october sky, its about a kid who wants to make rocket ships and its based on a true story so HAHAHAHA i kinda might go back to it but i prolly wont AHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

omg oh you got my first part?? im shocked, never seen it. so its ANOTHER part 2!! what about it?

T_T this was so dry i was like ??? wait did MY reply not send ? HAHHAHH /:

yeye this gif is so perfectly looped TT i hope the kitten is more taken aback by the unknown smell rather than the awful, absolutely terrible pain this ball gives him. but hes so cute TT

HAHHAHAAH its probably more of the contact the kitty had with the ball spring thing thing

'its weird someone else has my name' ekaterina I, ekaterina II and me: *_*, *_*, *_* well.. hm.. sorry for stealing your names babygirls... yk, im proud.

HAHHAHAHAH im more like PLS its YOU who stole MY name even though *I* stole Hannah's name in the bible because she's who i was named after lol HAHAHAHAH

like hannah montana is hannah, you should be proud too!

i was!!! i was like OMG IM FAMOUS HAHAHHHAHAHAHH i love hannah montana

i have no idea what his episode it but AWW THATS OS CUTE I LOVE IT WHEN GIRLS GIVE BOYS FLOWERS T_T

omg there IS a cat called PRINCE and you can TALK to him!!!!! omg im crying TT HES SO PRETTY TT omg you can CHALLENGE him TT he may scratch me to death

YES YOU CAN CHALLENGE HIM but its like??? this card game HAHHAHAAH its like a game within the game and the cat is a player in the card game

'shes not a minimum viable product' lol it was the first thing ive seen when i searched for the meaning of mvp. i dont understand your gamer slang >:( ok yes i learnt what mvp really meant but i needed to mention this mvp too.

IM SO SORRY I DIDNT MEANT TO CONFUSE YOU mvp isnt gamer slang actually it originated from sports specifically basketball i think and it trickled to mainstream media. MVP means most valuable player! T_T i thought you gathered i meant she was a minimum viable product from what i was telling you. i forgot i even said mvp T_T im so sorry my love

'i aint ever reading that its too long' LOL i've read 'war and peace' and 'And Quiet Flows the Don' (tha fact they translated it like this... smart but so unfamiliar...) which is probably 3000 of pages in total... and oh.. 'The Master and Margarita' also represents hell in a way and ive read it so.. you cant mock me like this catmom TT im sorry i talk about russian literature so much but i dont really read smth else... well beside the all tumblr shit...

its fine you can talk about russian literature all you want! idk i find it scary to read like 'classical' books, especially the ones you learn about in class, cos idk it feels like ???? a chore????? idk idk

'i hope you only mean in the show' you never know.....

T_T T_T PLEASE

'less anxious about sending asks!!😤' YES GIRL!! i love this mood!! youre gonna do it and do it in the best way bc youre the best!! i believe in you!! no one can stand against your hot person presence!! go and talk to them!

me @ my brain demons

'my body is like is this a threat CLOG THE NOSTRILS' ghdjs its kinda funny how you talk about your body as a castle which was attacked TT its kina true but still hilarious. hope you breath well lol.

HAHAHAAHAH I FIND IT EASIER TO EXPLAIN THINGS LIKE THIS NOT SO FORMAL BECAUSE IT MAKES MORE SENSE

'to be fair i have an electric fan open and when its night it gets colder' and i've got an opened window... youre really lucky i cant slap people.

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA IM RONNIN 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

how was the movie? and what movie TT

HA i already answered that HAHHAHAHA

'YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN SWEET IM LUV U SO MUCH' yk what? i take after my catmom. meomeow!! love you too<з SO

<3 <3

listen the daemon idea..... 'BUT THIS SCENE WAS SO INTENSE' YES its also so true!! i love how alicent is the loving (lol to aemond) mother and a fair (LOL in her own way) woman, a majestic queen (lol sorry i want to say shes great but...). she said there was not enough information about alicent in the books so they kinda created some of her character and background? i think thats why alicent is so great in hotd. actresses really feel her.

HAHAHHHAHAH the parts in the parenthesis HAHAHHAAH. also ive seen people say that the show is basically and interpretation of the book because its so... ??? incomplete cos its a bunch of outside accounts ??? so as interesting as that is, imma just enjoy the story as a tv show so yeah AHHAHAAH. alicent crazy (theyre all crazy) but she can choke me

and emily!! i was amazed by her acting in the scene where she was like 'supporting' king in his chambers? her voice was really trembling and she looked so lost. wow.

i felt so bad for young alicent. her dad an ugly rat L. OMG by the way when i say L that means loser AHAHAHAHH and W but i dont think ive used it is winner HAHAAHH T_T stuff i learn from my younger sister HAHHAHAH

omg i havent seen tom and ewan in youtube so i absolutely forgot about them TT rip TT i like tom too. from what ive seen in tumblr and his insta i (as a judgemental person lol) think hes sweet.

HE DOES LOOK SO SWEET MY WIDDLE TOM HES SO BABY I SQUISH I KISS IM LUV LUV LUV

and im sorry but TT i used to (actually i still do) find it funny how ewan purses his lips TT IDK WHY but it makes me laugh so bad TT he seems quiet to me.

he seems quiet to me too! I ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY HOW HE PURSES HIS LIPS BUT ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE TIKTOK MEMES AND MEMES IN GENERAL I SAW OF HIM HOLLUP LEMME LOOK FOR SOME

THIS HAHAAAA

and then this tiktok

i bawled laughing when i saw this (though tbh im not sure if this is the original one [i feel like the door was brown in the one i watched and the dude's lips were SUPER curved. that or i have bad memory])

'WHICH WAS SHOCKING' lol hes got a puppy face... no his acting is good but... my judgements... theyre rarely mistaken yk....

HAHAHHAHAHAHH UR SO RIGHT SO PUPPY IM LUV HIM MY PUP PUP

you can love emma and can love olivia separately but their duet?? divine! theyre so ?? a match?? i even thought they may be a couple for a moment.

T_T ur so right they compliment each other so well [BREATHES FIRE]

so hope you've got a good day! and a good week!! love you! take care<З

i hope you have a good day too! i have class tomorrow and im going to go to school so i might reply late.

i love you <3 <3 <3 do well <3 <3 im proud of you always

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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peachenle · 1 year

Note

I AM FINALLY HERE OMG so sorry for the long time waiting feedback/comment on CAPTAIN'S LOG ahem

And you did not want to be caught in the mess of policemen shining flashlights into mascara stained faces.

LMFAO I'LL BE HONEST been there before LOLOL minus the mascara stained faces fhnjkdasfdjskasjkd

“I think you have a problem, another weekend like this and you’re going to have to pay for my liver transplant,” you said to Yunjin when you returned.

OMG me to my friends back then when they would party every weekend jhdsadjskaajksd i'd get a text every Thursday, "wanna drink this weekend?" i had to start lying to stay home lmao

“Oh, sorry babe - didn’t see you there,” snickered one of the boys.

BABE? I'M ABOUT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE GUT RN DHJSAKHDJAK

Seeing him up close, there was no point in denying that he was cute, especially with the furrow in his brow he wore due to the thought of his friends.

the way i fangirled and gushed because his brows furrowing BYE

your internal facepalm for trying to make a pass at the cute boy from the circ desk

ASDFGHJK GIRRRRRRRRRRRRL SMOOTH but too soon

He smiled, and leaned in closer to make sure you heard each other, “Library, right?”

THIS AINT EVEN SUNGHOON AND I STILL BLUSHED BYE

You cringed seeing the line of people all waiting for the bathroom.

THE TRUTH IN THIS OMG

You turned around to meet eyes with Sunghoon’s neck, he was awfully close. He took a half step back upon seeing your surprised eyes, but gave you a smile.

OH MY GOD SGFDHAJDAJKSDK i would have freaked tf out and probably pee in my pants right then and there lolol

His white shirt was loosely buttoned, revealing several inches of his chest, his skin smooth. Sunghoon leaned down to whisper, “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” He smelled strongly of coconut rum, explaining his boldness.

THE WAY I LET OUT A GOD DAMN SHRIEKING SCREAM! DGHJSAKHDJKASH GOODBYE SUNGHOON I AM LEAVING

10:10 - LADIES SHOT HAHA

IDK WHY BUT I LAUGHED SO LOUD AT THIS HAHAHAHA

11:12 pm - FUCK I MISSED 11:11, but I still wish for pu$$y

WHO WROTE THIS? JAKE? LMAOOOOOO i am fucking wheezing byeeeeeeeeeee

11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of puss for my boy Jay please add him on snap here: jjongseong420

NOT THE 420 HAHAHAHAHAHA i am crying WHO MADE THIS LOG? this is way too funny oh lord

Sunghoon didn’t take the hint and laughed out loud, “Holy shit, was that Heeseung?”

NAUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DHJSAKHDJAKSHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY EYES

“I know our hockey team is mostly composed of skinny boys, which is already unusual… But you?” Your eyes traced down his slim figure, “A coach?”

and the roasting begins LOLOL i freaken let out an ugly ass laugh on this part. WORTH ROASTING

“Damn, I didn’t think you could get any hotter,” you blurted out, honestly surprised. Usually you’d feel at least some regret admitting that, but the way Sunghoon’s ears burned red? Priceless.

WHAT A PUNK DHJASKDHAJKSHSA I LOVE THIS

It was he who made the first move, his hand pressing lightly on your thigh as he leaned towards you. You fluttered your eyes shut, fully anticipating his lips against yours, only to open your eyes in confusion a few seconds later after nothing. He was biting his lip to not burst out laughing, his hand now stroking the top of your thigh. “Sorry, I just- it’s fun to tease.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH IM GONNA PUNCH THIS ASSHOLE LMAO HOW DID I KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE FAKE AND IT IS! PARK SUNGHOON, COME HERE YOU DICK!

“Be careful. The people under the balcony might hear you.”

“Jeez, Sunghoon, are you an exhibitionist or something?” You teased.

EXACTLY! STFU, SUNGHOON! GIRL, GET YO MAN!

And as you felt his fingers slip inside of you, the door swung open, another busy pair of bodies stumbling towards the bed. And, obviously in the darkness, you screamed, but so did Sunghoon. And so did the other couple. “Wait… Sunghoon?” The guy said, his voice sounding surprised and almost proud?

DGHJAKSHDJKASHAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH IM SORRY BUT THE WAY I FUCKING LAUGHED AGAIN omg i need water. im choking

He chuckled too, thankful you were nonchalant about everything, and leaned down to kiss you again.

awwww T_T not a soft lil kiss. dont hurt me like this.

2:02a - LOL YO SUNGHOON VIRGINITY IS NO MORE! VIRGIN

2:20am - ^ NO FUCKIN WAY HOON???

2:33 am - ^ IT WAS ME I TOOK IT LOL -JAKE

WAIT THE SHOE NOT THE VIRGINITY

VIRGIN?! JAKE! AHHAHAHAHHAHA THIS GETS FUNNIER OMG i cant right now. my stomach is hurting hdjaskdhjaskhdsjka

“See you at the HYB house tonight? I’ll make sure there's enough Malibu,” he flashed you a vague smile and walked off.

STFU JAKE HDSJAHDSAKS you lil shit omg imma fight him

“Can’t you just pass the door guy a couple bills and call it a night?”

“Bitch, I’m literally broke. If they say no, I’ll just sneak in from the side.”

ahhhh sneaking in minors... dhsajdhajk the good old days LOL omg never again!!! ahahahahhahaha

Sunghoon nodded. “Yes, mommy,” he visibly cringed as you blinked at him. “Ugh, sorry, the pledges have to call the girls that tonight.” He turned around to pour your drink. You, too, turned to look the other way.

THE WAY I CRINGED IM SORRY SUNGHOON. DHJASKHAHAHAHAHA

He was so good-looking, even from behind.

the way that i've been crying to my friends about his back shots from the fansites all morning oh gawd

You thought to yourself, now am I getting laid?

GIRL! WE MUST STAY FOCUS.

The sirens in your head went off again as he slid an arm under you, pulling your heavy head against his chest.

WEEWOOWEEWOO I NEED WATER ASAP

Sunghoon mumbled, “You okay? Need water?” He was aimlessly scrolling through his front page of Netflix.

YES

Sunghoon climbed on top of you, lightly pinning your wrists against his sheets.

THE HAND WRESTLING TO THIS? #TEAMFERAL

“If this is all you want from me, I can’t do that.” He said seriously. “I don’t want to just hook up with you, plus you drank too much.”

awwww women respecter frfr omg imma go cry buckets of ice cream brb

Eventually agreeing on watching Saiki K

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING LOVE SAIKI K AND HIS WEEB ASS WOULD WATCH THIS. ALL I GOTTA SAY IS, SAIKI IS JUNGWON LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sunghoon dipped his face deeper into your hair and neck, with a soft groan as if to shut you up.

SCREAMING! SUNGHOON, CHILL I NEED TO BREATHE

Maybe Sunghoon was a green flag.

I READ THIS LINE RIGHT HERE and Shoutout CAME ON MY PLAYLIST bye i am leaving this sunghoon fandom rn

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH EM! THIS WAS SO GOOD. LIKE SO FREAKEN GOOD. i am crying buckets of tears. like T_T it was so sweet. SUNGHOON, GREEN FLAG, EVERYWHERE!!!! The way he's like "can we not hook up?" T-T ANYTHING FOR YOU, STUPID! and how he made her drink water to sober her up so no headache will happen in the morning. THE WAY HE DIDNT CARE IF SHE STANK because oh gawd im always like OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFF DJSAKHDSJAKHSKA T-T ugh Shoutout started playing and now im crying lmao my emotions are all over the place. this is so beautiful <3

GENIE AHHHH THANK YOUUU

HAHAHA i was so excited to hear your thoughts and you didn’t disappoint 🥺 IM SPOILED! a whole essay indeed <3

im so glad you enjoyed it! i was going in between if i wanted to actually make sunghoon a fuck boy but i just couldnt - hes too soft ;(

and thank you for pointing out some of my favorite lines too HAHA your commentary is so fucking funny - much of this fic was my recounting of silly party moments of mine too

thank you so much, it means a lot <3

#feedback #answered #end-hyphen #em thoughts #fic: cl

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thenastyotherblog · 2 years

Note

Hello!!! Can you maybe write some hc's of Hizashi having a partner who takes care of them a lot and loves giving them gifts, thank you!!!

A caring Partner whose love language is gift giving? Oh, yes, that shit is good.

Hopefully these are ok! I have fun writing them!

Present Mic with a Caring/Gift Giver Partner

Having three jobs is a heavy tool, so Mic appreaciates anything you do to make his routine easier for him.

He is grateful even for the little things you do for him daily, things like:

Making him breakfast every morning.

Arrange Mic's hair/skin routine in advance and in order -lets be real that hair must take a long time to style, so he is very thankful when he gets in the bathroom and you already put all the products, hairbrushes, combs out for him.

Having all his things ready for him -car keys, school stuff, throat spray.- for when he heads out.

When you help him warm up his voice before leaving.

You dont let him go if he doesnt and seriously he thinks you are so adorable when you stop him right in the door and ask him to warm up.

Making him wear a jacket + scarf combo when its too cold outside

Or remind him to take water when its too hot.

Mic prefers your cooking over eating on the UA's cafeteria.

Cant wait to see what you make for him everyday -and you never dissapoint-.

Absolutely brags about it with everyone, specially when you make his food in a funny/cute shape.

Thinks its adorable when you check on him before and after his show.

"Dont forget to take water! Love you! see you at home!"

Mic usually gets home very late and while he doesnt want you to miss any sleep waiting for him, it certainly makes his entire day when you do.

His heart just flutters when you welcome him home.

I feel like he appreaciates more when you take care of him after long days.

Days where he just dont or cant do anything beside probably crawl to bed and pass out from exahustion.

Helping him grade all the assigments he couldnt do because hero work.

Mumbles words of appreciation while you lead him to a warm bath, almost falling asleep as you help him wash his hair.

Checking his vocal cords yet again.

Patching him up if he comes back injuried.

"Im sorry Songbird"

"Shh is ok Zashi, Im glad you came back safe"

Reassuring him that he is never too loud, or annoying.

He sometimes need to hear those words.

Sending him pictures of little trinkets that reminds you of him.

"Look Zashi! Is you!" Mostly with a picture of something with birds -specially parrots or cockatoos- attached.

Keeps all the small gifts- small plushies or figurines, keychains- you gave him on his desk and he is running out of space for them.

There was this time you bought him a bright yellow parrot pattern tie. -look at me in the eye and tell me he wouldnt wear it-

Oh you better believe he uses it every fancy hero event he goes.

Most of his coworkers -Aizawa Im talking about him- believes the tie is horrendous but that aint stopping him to wear it.

Goes in a rant about the lastest thing you gave him.

"YO! Check out this sick keychain my partner gave me!"

Is surprised and a bit nervous when you get him expensive stuff out of nowhere.

Such like vinyls or new leather jacket.

Did he forgot an important date? You guys anniversary? Birthday??? He is rummaging his brain to remember what day it is.

"BABE WHATS THE OCATION??! THIS IS EXPENSIVE!"

"None? I been saving a bit! You been looking for this one havent you?"

Tears up, promising you to get you something back.

You want to really make this man weep?

HANDMADE GIFTS.

Doesnt matter what it is, or how well they are made, he will absolutely love anything you made for him.

Proudly wears the first scarf you knit for him even when its all wonky or way too long.

You have made him many others since but he says that one is his favorite.

Has a collection of bead bracelets to choose from.

Little knitted plushies.

These are the gifts he keeps the most on his desk, cuz they remind him of you most.

I bet Mic would a sucker for scrapbooks where you collect souvenirs from dates you had.

Of course, the classic mixtape.

If you take the time and patience to make an actual tape and not like a spotify list he is gonna be all over you for weeks.

#present mic x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #present mic #hizashi yamada

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laketaj24 · 3 years

Text

Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened. “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.” His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

Taglist: @taytayize123 @ctrlszn @supernaturalvikingwhore @jae-writes-fanfiction @bigsisbria @placeoffreedom @kyla-queen @missdforever @gottatoxicattitude @bang-kim-bap @msreshel @blowmymbackout @titty-teetee @strawberry-skyes @mauvecherie @savageiz @bang-kim-bap @luci-her @littlelovebug98 @babyboy-cody @hellshedevil @daddyavesxx @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf

commenters from serotnin who might be interested: @mgkmerchstyles @mayaslifeinabox

#laketa j writes #colson baker x black reader #colson baker fics #colson baker x reader #colson baker #mgk #machine gun kelly x black reader #machine gun Kelly

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ennoshawty · 3 years

Text

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

Note

SAW THAT DRUNK FLUFFY HEADCANNON. NOW DO A ANGST SMUT VERSION OF IT OR WHATEVER SIS. LEZ GET ETTTT SKRRTSKRTTTTT

Please. 🥺

LEZ GET IIIIIIIIIIT SKRTSKRT (I CANT)

some of these are both smut/angst and others only smut or only angst OK? ok

SMUT AND ANGST VERSION WOOP now we’re talking bby

warning; SMUT/ANGST. gn!reader x skz. subxdom, use of alcohol, sex under influence, minor injuries, penetrative sex, degradation, punishment, nicknames, choking, mentions of blood, slight dacryphilia, mentions of tobacco

Bangchan

he’s more pouty but seeing you with scraped knees makes him mad

mad because he cares so much about you

“y/n you’re being stupid”

you fall into his arms, just as mad back at it

“if im so stupid then leave”

he looks at you, dumbfounded but then mad

“fine, then i’ll leave” he says, clearly hurt by your words but holding tightly to his pride, storming off.

as the door closes you panic, feeling lonely and paranoid at the same time

you never really being good with alcohol anyways

so him leaving you in this vulnerable state made you feel,,, bad :((

you run after him and eventually catch up

right as you get to him you stumble, scraping your knee and your hand

he turned around quickly, filled with worry but also pure rage

“you’re so stupid y/n” he says leaning down and looking you into your glossy eyes

“h-help me channie” you say, your voice frail

he sighes, picking you up and the two of you going back home

Minho

be scared be real fucking scared

you aint walking for a week nuh uh

fucks you DEEP

deeper than ever

boy is mad as fuck, he just lashes out on you for being so stupid as to walk home alone in the middle of the night.

he complains and scolds you whilst he’s railing you oop

“fucking stupid, walking like that all alone”

you are practically crying underneath him, not sure if it’s from him scolding you or from how DEEP this man goes

pounding some sense into you LMAO

lots of choking OOF

denying your orgasm until you’re crying

“yeah thats right, cry for me” (lmao cue twice)

NAH BUT A SWEETHEART AFTERWARDS I PROMISE

Changbin

“what if you get injured y/n?” he says, holding your hand on your way home

“i didn’t!” you say confidently

“then whats that?” he says, pointing at your bleeding knees

“n-nothing” you say, limping forward

“should listen to me more” he says quickly, puffing his cheeks in frustration

“i do listen, just,,, just let me have f-fun!” your head spinning.

“but thats not having fun y/n, thats called being stupid and destroying your health” he spits on the ground

“alright then let me, not like it’s affecting you in any way” you slur out, changbin looking at you through hooded eyes as he exhales loudly

“maybe if you’d stop being drunk all the time you’d actually see how it is effecting me” he says, letting go of your hand causing you to stumble over your own legs

you hit the cold concrete in the dark as he walks home

“come back when you’ve thought about your actions”

Hyunjin

he paces back and forward in the hallway, waiting for you

the door creaks open and you, looking like a mess, appear infront of him

“where were you? i was worried sick y/n! you cant just do-”

“shush,,, i want a,, a hug” you stammer out, getting closer to him and smelling of cigarettes and alcohol

he pushes you away, glaring at you through dark eyes

“do you even care about me?”

you tilt your head, feeling more unstable for every second that goes by.

“of course hyunnie!” you smile lazily at him

but he’s not buying any of it

i feel like he holds grudges for a long time??? idk just me??

“i’ll sleep on the couch, dont come close to me”

bruh his voice and tone is so cold, it send shivers down your spine

you nod, tears bubbling up in the corners of your eyes.

Jisung

“im not helping you!” jisung says, you rubbing your thighs together, always feeling needy when drunk

“pl-please sungie, i-i wont drink ever again i-if you help,,, me”

he cocks his eyebrow at you, licking the inside of his cheek

“mhm.. you think im stupid enough to fall for that? what do you really think of me babygirl/babyboy”

you scratch the back of your head, not knowing what to answer

“y-you fell for it last time~”

he scoffs, pissed at the fact that you came stumbling through the door in the middle of the night

him waiting for you and being filled sick with worry

he leans closer to your ear, feeling the smell of liquor

“why should i help you? sluts like you dont deserve me”

you whine at his words, not helping with your neediness

“please,, jisung i,, just help me!” you were started to get pouty to which he chuckles

“beg nicely”

Felix

“where were you”

his voice is like LOW low

he sits with his legs spread apart

bruh his gaze?!??”! its like black, just blank

you try to ignore him, shuffling around awkwardly but only stumbling from being drunk

“sit” he pats his lap you gulp, having no other choice but to listen

you sit down on his lap

your eyes are running all over the room, looking everywhere but at felix

“was my slut out drinking?”

BRUH YOU JUST STARE AT HIM

he only says that when he’s mad, ONLY

so now you’re scared but you nod, barely having your eyes open

he hums, his voice vibrating through your ears

“you agree, you’re a slut?”

you nod again and before you know it theres a hand wrapped around your throat, pushing on the sides and making you feel even more lightheaded.

his mouth gets close to your ear

his warm breath desending down your cheek

“dont make me do this kitten”

Seungmin

frustrated

he gets a call from one of your friends that tell you that you’re passed out on the street

he picks you up, you barely standing on your own two legs and the entire way home he didnt say a word

as soon as the door to your home closes he starts yelling at you

“dont you have any thoughts in that dumb head of yours?”

you start tearing up from his loud and stern voice, leaning against a wall.

“i-im sorry minnie”

that being the only sentence he understood, the rest sounding more like blabbering

“are you really sorry y/n, are you??!”

“y-yes,,, just tired~”

without saying anything more he grabs his jacket and leaves

slamming the door behind him

at first you dont understand but then the silence takes over, leaving you wrapped with a lonely blanket as tranquility

“m-minnie?” you call out as if he was still there but being met by nothing but pure silence

you slide down against the wall, crying as seungmin peeks through the door, feeling bad for making you cry

Jeongin

“enough”

he grabs the bottle from your hand, placing it beside him as the two of you were drinking at home.

“but whyyy?~ we were just getting started innie~”

he looks at you with a puzzled expression

your cheeks flaming hot and your eyes drooping down

“cant you just stop y/n?”

you meet his brown eyes, not understanding what he meant

“hm? whatchu mean~?

he sighs loudly, seeing you roll around on the floor

“why can’t you just control yourself? why do i always have to take care of you?”

you laugh, your thoughts gone with the wind

“thats funny innie!”

poor boy gets frustrated and lays down, hovering above you

“is it funny if i do this?”

he kisses you, slowly trailing his fingertips downwards

OK I HAVE ONE REQUEST LEFT IN MY INBOX SO GOTTA DO THAT!! and after that im gonna start posting/working more on fics even though... i feel shit about writing fics because they never turn out that good huh.... AH WELL at least im trying T-T

hard/soft thoughts are always welcome ><

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dreamii-yume · 3 years

Text

SPOILERSSS for Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 : 1-16!!!

*rubs hands* aight it wont take long before genshin has me in its gacha hell grasp again, I just barely escaped this time— NOW ITS TIME TO SEE THE BOIS CHAPTER 6 omg— wtf happened last time lol it’s been too long

So, no voice over because of some problems which is understandable but— meh I don’t feel like reading lol So I’m watching otome ayui translations this time, because im that one dumbass student who skipped kanji class and now i cant read without sounding like im five _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): “what up im yume im way passed 19 and i never fucking learned how to read”

Also watching Hanayura Kanon stream for the rest that’s not yet been translated lol Because he’s very good at voice acting for the characters and he’s funny af lol

- OKAY OKAY— WTF HAPPENED EXPLAIN

- Fun fact : I haven’t watched Hercules yet so I legit don’t know what’s about to come lol

- Aw, that’s cute— We called over Ace and Deuce late at night AND THEY REALLY CAME OVER AAAAA

- I forgot how fckin pure their friendship is _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight, so we actually have a huge-ass scratch from feral Grim lol That’s just fantastic, isn’t it

- FINALLY— We’re talking about Mickey and the stones my monster cat has been eating with Crowley AAAAA

- “Yeah there’s this bitch called mickey and i took his photo—“

- WE’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS. AFTER 6 CHAPTERS.

- Bruh this crystal of blot sounds really dangerous why are we discussing this just now

- Speaking of this crystal, Crowley— you were looking for this crystal in chap one and when we asked you about wtf you’re trying to find you just went— “oH itS NothING.”

- I SUPPOSED ITS NOT NOTHING NOW IS IT

- I didnt see you searching for crystals after every chapter mr. crowley where were you 👁👄👁 dont you think it was weird that you didnt see a single one after like— five blotting incidents

- Oh so its rare i see— BRUH R U SURE ABOUT THAT grim literally found one every single chap LMAO

- Okay okay— see, he may be violent but listen— you aint gonna throw out my fucking cat okay

- Wh— THERE WAS A FESTIVAL!? Im dumb so its not just VDC LOL

- Listen LISTEN— GRIM IS FINE. HOLD UP— NO NEED TO THROW HIM OUT JUST LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM

- Aww, Ace and Deuce looked pissed about it too AAAAHH THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE BOIS

- BRUH NO— ALL THE DORM LEADERS TO GO AND CAPTURE GRIM?? HE’LL DIE

- CROWLEY PLS— WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, HONEY

- #Grimportectionsquad

- “It’s bout time for them to come” Who?

- FUCKING— CROWLEY STOP SAYING ITS NOTHING— This is why this school is so fucked, you never tell us anything ahead of time _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight he left, Ace Deuce hurry help me what you guys got

- He may be a monster but see— the worst he did is eat the whole tuna stack SO PLS HES STILL BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- THATS RIGHT DEUCE MY MAN GRIM CAN DO NO BAD I SWEAR

- HE WOULDNT EVER AGAIN I SWEAR

- Ace ヽ(；▽；)ノ The character development— im so proud of you, son

- THIS IS THE BOISSS— LETS GOOOO

- Fuck this is so beautiful— just me and the bois on our way in the middle of the night to find our MISSING CAT I—

- CROWLEY REALLY DID ASSEMBLE THEM DORM LEADERS AAAAAAA AT THIS HOUR TOO WTF

- BRUH WE CAN TALK

- Kalim Kalim Kalim Vil Vil Vil— Pls we’ve been through so much last chapter ＨＥＬＰ

- Leona…A big fat ｍｏｏｄ honestly lmao

- Ey ey riddle pls— dont make this any more difficult—

- Shut up azul stay where u are all you’ve done is nothing but chaos since you arrive so SHHH

- MALLEUS IS NOT HERE AGAIN LILIA PLS— where is he when we need him the most LOL

- Ortho, your bro where?? Also— SURVIVAL STATUS BRUH—

- YES PLS DONT HURT HIM OMG

- oh i forgot idia lives in his tablet LOL OF COURSE

- Omg he’s in the apple trees still looking scary as shi aaaaaaa pls kitty come home u just had too much catnip

- OH GOD 15m HE’S CLOSE

- “Starting operation” ORTHO WHAT TF

- EY EY EY oh good he’s knocked out sighhh

- Aight I know this has been translated but I can’t help but to look at the original japanese and im just— wtf is RTS and TAS idia i dont understand this advanced gamer otaku language

- But Idia and Ortho really do be speedrunning on who can fucking kick my cat the hardest LOL

- THATS RIGHT IDIA You understand me— Fellow cat lovers unite, Grim is very cute, he can’t do no bad

- …so can i have him back pls—

- Can we just appreciate the fact that these bois are willing to take the risk of getting their heads chopped off by Riddle by doing all this for us??

- If this isnt what you call true friendship then i dont know what this is

- Lol ambrose is going to appear in this festival again and crowley’s prideful ass is QUAKING

- WHY are we not allowed to see him crowley im sure we can handle it— We’re the BOIS. CMON

- Imagine if they just summon a fcuking— magic vet or something lol

- It’s the next day lol

- HAH ITS THE VDC LOSERS BY ONE VOTE SQUAD

- I mean the NRC Tribe— ٩( ᐛ )و

- VIL. what you have my queen

- Vil pls dont remind me that my cat isnt here but thank you for saying thank you i do not deserve—

- AWW THE ADEUCE SQUAD LOOKS SO SAD AAAAA

- Vil i miss the bad bitch but absolute oneesan energy but the apology— yeah are we gonna cry again lol

- AAAAAAHH why am i so proud— THAT vil is apologizing

- You dont need to maam what we had in chapter 5 was a fucking journey i regret nothing

- I swear if rook goes like— bitch that aint beautiful imma bonk him I WILL DO IT dont think i forgot what u did last chap

- Man i love me a man who can openly admit his mistakes MMMGH

- Rook i swear—

- Im glad that we’re not toning down ace’s brutal honesty lol

- BRUHHH I DONT LIKE IT WHEN VIL US TAKING ALL THE BLAME i mean what he said was kinda true BUT STILL

- Cheer up Vil, it’s not like it’s a complete failure anyways (；ω；) it was fun at least

- Hearing Jamil encourage Vil like this feels surreal BUT YES BOI U TELL EM

- What is this beautiful character development

- Ooff way to hit where it hurts the most vil my queen lol

- AAGH IT HURTS VIL RECOGNIZING NEIGE’S HARDWORK LIKE THIS— THE PRIDE I CAN FEEL IT ＣＲＡＣＫ

- Bruh we appreciate Neige’s impeccable smile in this household— REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE NEIGE’S GON BE A BAD BOI??? WELP—

- It was me, i was that person and i shall drown in apple juice for it

- Of course, the ultimate Neige simp already knows that lol

- Bruh the background music has no business being this sad　ｓｔｏｐ

- I hate it when vil is right sometimes omg— TRUEEE KALIM especially wouldn’t be able to stand properly on stage after knowing Neige’s own hardships aaaa

- NOO BABY DONT CRY

- Vil redemption arc??? 👀👀 you can help us cure our cat—

- !? Are we gonna get that money promised in that poster?? 👀👀

- WHAA FUCKING WAHAA VIL IS GONNA PAY THAT US??? THE WHOLE 5 MIL EACH??!! VIL CALM DOWN WHAT I SAID WAS A JOKE

- Damn vil is ＳＴＡＣＫＥＤ He really didnt want to owe anyone anything LMAO YES QUEEN

- WHA— KALIM IS ACCEPTING??? OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT THAT KALIM

- Kalim is making my heart go boom boom again baby boi ✨👁💧👄💧👁✨✨

- HE’LL DONATE IT TO THE RAMSHACKLE DORM BABY BOIIII

- …sumimasen kalim for having a very rundown dorm 👁💧👄💧👁 but thank you for being nice about it lol

- OKAY OKAY KALIM YOU DONT HAVE TO LIST ALL THE THINGS WRONG IN MY DORM PLS—

- THIS IS EMBARRASSING PLS KALIM IM SORRY FOR BEING POOR

- But this man be such a sunshine holy shit i cant even be mad about it lol

- AW YEAH RAMSHACKLE DORM IS GONNA GET A MAKEOVER

- EVERYONE BE DONATING THEIR MONEY TO US AAAAA Were they always this NICE

- Aight adeuce pls— y’all dont have to force yourself to donate my guys (´；ω；`) being friends is enough lol i get it my bois

- Find me a man who can make me feel like this the way Vil can

- Man if only Grim is here :’) he’d be soo happy :’)) you can have all the tuna you want buddy :’)))

- GRIM PLS ADEUCE IS WILLING TO TREAT YOU TO LUNCH BABY

- Bro this is so wholesome omg

- Im sorry but still up to this day, my understanding of Epel’s accent is still　ｌａｃｋｉｎｇ lmao

- Aight they be talking about how Rook already knew that they were going to lose from the very beginning

- The FORESHADOWING LOL The difference with how Rook said “What a wonderful performance” rather than “What a beautiful performance” sigh

- Honestly we gotta respect Rook’s resolve here lol man just knows what he wants

- Rook and Vil’s friendship lmao

- 👁👄👁 …!?

- EARTHQUAKE WTF How dare you ruin such moment—

- WHAT IS GOING ON

- EY WTF DONT DESTROY MY DORM WTF ARE YOU GUYS

- WHAT ARE THESE ROBOTS OUTSIDERS KILL THEM WITH FIRE

- They look like something that belongs to the Ignihyde dorm HUH

- Oh bruh— Vil in his Dorm Leader mode is so cool AND YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT wheww~~ Vil YAS QUEEN

- KALIM TOO AAAAAA JAMIL’S 「はっ！」SO COOL

- so SO— the dorm leader’s have a protocol for outsider attacks like this 👁👄👁 OMG THEY’RE SO HOT

- They don’t seem like our bois anymore aaa just pure professionalism at this point—

- GOD I FORGOT HOW COOL THEY ARE OMG

- HEEEYYY OUR DORM IS GETTING DESTROYED WTF ARE THESE GUYS’ PROBLEM

- We were just talking about renovating it too wtf

- AAAAAHHH HOW DARE YOU— VIL R YOU OK

- Bruh i dont know what is going on but dont touch my man’s face

- They’re targetting Vil and Jamil WHY— overblot men!!??? WHERE ARE YOU— GIVE THEM BACK

- I didnt understand what epel said here lmao BUT—!?

- THEY HAVE GRIM TOO FUCK HE’S BACK LET GO OF MY FUCKING CAT

- WHAT IS GOING ON DARLINGS

- BUDDYY >:’0000 Grimmm MY HEART—

- Are they kidnapping the overblot men?? What— the fucking absolute ｂａｌｌｓ on these robots

- God we’re getting absolutely ｆｕｃｋｅｄ in here

- AND THERE’S A CAULDRON IN THE BACKGROUND LOL DEUCE WENT HAM

- BRING ME BACK MY FUCKING CAT— >:’0000

- I thought there’s going to be a festival not a fucking kidnapping event HEY

- Oh 👀 Rook pls help

- AAAHH SERIOUS ROOK IS HOT—

- IS THE OTHER DORM LEADERS CHILLING WHERE ARE THEY KALIM PLS BE SAFE

- OH RIDDLE IS NOT ANSWERING THEY GOT HIM TOO

- Oh ghad they got him during clubs WTF HOW—

- *nervous hornii chuckling* …angry expression silver 👁👄👁 im sorry

- AAAA Dorm leaders actually be acting like dorm leaders is soo cool i cant—

- Bruh the story is all chaos what is this chapter

- Are they gonna get Leona and Azul too what—

- RIDDLE BABY Jesus christ dont overblot like this again lol

- DAMN HE STRONG FOR A SMOL BOI THO

- Whoever made these robots wtf is their deal lol TO BE ABLE TO BEAT A DORM LEADER—

- …Bruh where is our horned friend when u need him

- Silver and Sebek theorizing with dorm leaders but they took Jamil tho?? It’s probably the overblot men they’re after

- Also Malleus is probably good so you two calm down lol Lilia’s probs having tea with him right now

- Okay, Leona how are you going to get captured KING.

- Omg everything is getting destroyed wtf

- AW LEONA SAVED RUGGIE THATS CUTE AND COOL AF

- Bruh leona these are material robots— cant you just turn them into sand lol

- Oh they do have some kind of brand cmon just turn them into sand pls

- WHAT THE FUCK

- LEONA-SAN!? WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP— OJI-TAN!!!

- OLD MAN WHAT—

- *hearing leona whisper his reasons ✋ 👁👄👁 🤚 okay sir im sorry

- Damn Leona acting like a real prince right now— it’s kinda hot 👀👀

- BRUH PLS COME BACK DONT TALK LIKE YOU AINT GONNA

- BRO WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS

- THE BOARD GAME CLUB

- Idia : “bro we just chilling be cool— MY CHESS PIECE“

- “Aight ortho what’s the situation” “ｆｕｃｋｅｄ＂

- So Idia of course knows about this— why does he look like he’s so done lmao me getting the feeling this isnt the first time idia has encountered this situation before lol

- Man i want to see azul in action too but mehh— Idia told him to settle down cries

- LOL WHAT IS THIS KARONE ROBOTS

- Wait— are they taking idia too?? OH IS THIS THE DOING OF IDIA’S FAMILY

- WHERE IS CROWLEY— THE TEACHERS, YOUR IMPORTANT STUDENTS ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED

- AH THEY ALSO KNOW ABOUT THESE STYX BITCHES WHAT— and they’re just letting them GO whaaat

- Sounds to me that this must be idia’s family taking care of the overblotting students?? Like to protect Idia or something?? I DONT—

- “Gather all the dorm leaders” No, sir, they’re already gone besides my sunshine and the horn boi

- Malleus??? 👁👄👁 TSUNOTAROU

- Pls kill the robots they destroyed my place

- AAH UPSIDE DOWN LILIA long time no see lol

- Bruhh the diasomnia students are so lucky to have Malleus as a dorm leader omg

- BRUH LILIA’S RINGTONE IS SO CUTE LMAO

- Kalim sounds so desperate im so sad

- ARE WE— ARE WE GONNA MEET MALLEUS AGAINNN

- Bruh they just goku teleported their way out of the dorm lol

- AAAAHH EVERYONE IS HERE THIS IS SO FUN

- Wait jack is not here lol did they just forget about him wtf

- Oh shit we here too i did not know LMAO

- S-So are we just gonna..continue school like— like these styx bitches didnt just ruin half the school, my dorm, injure my bois, and took my cat or…???

- GASP AAAA STYX IS A BLOT RESEARCH FACILITY WHAAAT

- So that’s why leona and idia be like bro this is not worth it

- O-Oh yeah— they…they didnt know that Vil overblot— PFFT

- Malleus pls information who are you talking about—

- WHO— LILIA MALLEUS OH NO

- Ey, overblot squad are assembled lol this looks so dangerous

- LMAOO Riddle was sleeping on Leona’s lap for three hours THATS SO CUTE

- Where the fck did they take them, ITS CRAMPED AF

- Bro they’re just exposing Vil and Jamil’s overblot that’s supposed to be a SECRET LOL

- Oji-tan can sound so wise and reliable like this if he really tried lol sugar daddy energy

- Wtf these guys never thought that idia was from a big shot family??? They thought it was just coincidence that they had the same family name PFFT

- AZUL AAAA He was right there my guy BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MAN

- oh. They finally opened— isn’t this the ignihyde dorm what

- WHAT THE FU— IDIA

- Bro— WHAT WAS THAT IT WAS IDIA ALL ALONG???

- WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER

This chapter is a fucking roller coaster like— literal 0 to 100 ＱＵＩＣＣ From having a moment with Vil and the bois to a FUCKING TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO IM HYPED FOR NEXT CHAP—

It’s been so long, I hope they released the next part soon (๑>◡<๑) I forgot how fine these men are lol at least I want to hear their voices again 👁👄👁

#twisted wonderland #spoilers #chapter 6

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redoqs · 3 years

Note

Good morning bestie! I’m choosing violence today

The Dimitrescu sisters all playing Mario Kart together. I feel like they’re all competitive asf and that’s going to end up with fights because who threw that fucking red shell?

Lord the castle is about to be in shambles

Now listen, the girls have been begging and begging and BEGGING Alcina to get them a Nintendo switch so they could play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (yes the deluxe matters) and finally they walk into a “gaming room” and find that their mother had set up the console up to a new tv she bought, aint she sweet🥰🥰🥰 she tells them to be nice and to not break anything.

“Yes mother🥰🥰🥰”

Alcina leaves and the moment she does this happens:

Cass: I call being player one!!!

Bela: no I’m player one! I’m literally oldest???

Cass: the fuck that got to do with me???

While Bela and Cass are fighting over who gets to be number one, Dani walks over to the console and is so mesmerized! She picks the handheld out of the dock and the screen goes black and now she’s panicking because shit! Did she break it!?!!?! She puts to console back in the doc and the screen comes back “oh it has to be in the thing for the picture to show up!” She unhooks the remotes, handing the red one to Bela and the blue one to Cass, connecting a green one. Bela cheers when she learns she gets to be player one

So now they’re choosing characters. Bela would choose Mario because she’s boring🙄 couldn’t even go with my boy Luigi. Cass chooses Bowers Jr. why not Bowers? Because that’s Alcina’s character and she’ll be damned if she chooses the same main as her mother (which is funny because Alci would main Daisy cmon🙄). Dani couldn’t pick between Yoshi and Toad and eventually she chooses Yoshi because look at his tongue! And the way he says YOSHI is so cute🥰 they pick their karts, turn everything to the most chaotic setting and they’re going!!!

Dani is already pissed because she held the accelerate button too long and ended up exploding in the beginning. Cass laughs at her as she takes her rightful place in first while Bela is concentrated in third. But cmon this is chaos settings and Dani gets a bullet and puts her all the way in second. Bela’s pissssssed because the bullet it her and made her fall off the track, putting her in eighth.

“DANI WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Dani just laughs as Bela tries to keep up. Cass was is still in first but that doesn’t last long because guess what? Dani is now in second and grabbed a green shell. She’s getting the shit ready waiting for Cass to line up and BLAM she fucking gets hit and Dani blazes past her.

“WHAT THE SHIT!?!? HOW DID I GET HIT WITH THE WORST SHELL!??????”

Bela is tryna catch up and she’s blazing. She gets an item box and gets the star and now she’s being a menace and hitting everybody she can and now she’s right behind Cass! She’s in the middle of a drift, her eyes set on the next item box but you know how people do that shit where they take more than one box? That’s what Cass does. She takes all of the item boxes.

“CASS YOU GREEDY BITCH WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?”

Cass responds by throwing fireballs behind her and now they’re on the third lap. Dani is cruising aint nothing about to stop her. Or so she thinks because someone in last place grabbed a blue shell and threw that shit with the quickness. Dani heard the familiar sound and she’s heart starts racing because SHO THREW THAT SHIT! She literally screams as she is hit and so many people pass her!!!!! Now she’s just in front of Bela and Cass and they’re all just competing to beat each other. Bela pulls up behind Cass and Dani just barely manages to stay in front as they cross the finish line

Dani: I WONNNN

Bela: You got fourth place

Dani: and you got sixth so whos the real winner here?

Cass: I would’ve won if you didn’t hit me with the bullet

Dani: you still would’ve lost to me. I almost had first but Bela threw that blue fuck shit

Bela: MEEEEE????? I DIDNT THROW THAT! THAT WAS CASS

Cass: WHOOO??????

Now all of them are bickering and the only way they can settle this is with a rematch. Lord knows how that’ll go

#the castle would not be a safe zone when the game is on #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #resident evil village

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the-acid-pear · 3 years

Text

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

#luly talks #i hit character limit already waaa :(#but I'm too into this to stop reading lol #btg #this saga is a bit boring but el che is funny :)#baki liveblog

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cosmicbash · 3 years

Note

it’s always jelus and insecure em!! i wanna see jelus and insecure kells!!!!

They're divorced. Twice.

It's public knowledge, and the majority of the sordid details behind their shitshow of two marriages are too.

And Marshall's his. The little sparkle of one of his own earrings reflecting from inside the older man's lobe and the heavy droop of his sweater on the smaller rapper's shoulder's only emphasizes that. The same way his presence here at a close family and friends holiday party does.

Marshall's his. His boyfriend, his lover, his partner. His. No one elses.

But. That sickly sour taste of insecurity is tickling the back of his tongue with each bitter bite the blonde finds himself taking of a gingerbread cookie. His eyes are locked across the room on Marshall's fluffy santa hat decorated head, the cute christmas centric outfit he was wearing no longer warming Colson's heart like it had only an hour prior. Marshall looks too good in it, all soft and dressed down from his usual monochrome track suits and that was exactly the problem. Colson hates how good he looks right now, knowing the man's ex also got to see it, up close and much too personal for his preference.

It wasn't like he had any real reason to worry. Kim was here because of the kids. Not because Marshall directly invited her. It was a pleasantry between exes, done solely to keep the peace and feign some level of normalcy to their children. Even long after all of them had grown up.

And the two weren't exactly on great terms. Marshall still cringed at the very mention of her and from the dirty look she shot the man's way the second they opened the front door she hinted it was mutual.

But, Colson also knows the rapper isn't against hate sex. Afterall, if Marshall was, him and Casie wouldn't have been scrambling to finish all these damn gingerbread men this afternoon. They'd be miles away in Cleveland or LA, celebrating their own christmas, never knowing Marshall's "secret recipe".

It's frustrating to say in the least.

"I see Kim's round for her bi-yearly intereference." A soft bump to his shoulder drags Colson's eyes away from the locked position he's held for over a half hour. Royce's smug smiling face replacing it as he turns.

Colson's still not sure if he can call himself and Ryan friends just yet, there's a past there between the rapper and Marshall as well that's he's only gleamed surface of, on top of the usual tension that comes from an overprotective friend meeting the new "boyfriend". But unlike Kim, Ryan will at least acknowledge his existence so that makes it a bit easier for him to handle. "Bi-yearly interference?"

"Yeah," The other rapper's smirk only seems to widen into a grin as he shakes his head and downs what's left of his drink. "That's the kindest word I can use with the girl's around." Ryan's motioning with his head to follow him around the countertop for some more and despite how much Colson appreciates his current vantage point he accepts the invitation if not for something better to do.

Better than getting called out for staring like a jealous tween girl at least.

"She does this every other year, or just any year Marsh manages to bring home a lady finally-" Ryan's ring clad fingers shake the bottle of spiked eggnog his way. Colson accepts that too with quick nod, letting the 'lady' dig sent his way pass without acknowledgement. "She shows up in that stupid baby blue dress, hair freshly dyed, face done up to the nines, all that shit she'd do back when her and Marsh were still together and she was his-" quick pause in pouring for signed quotation marks, Ryan's eye roll visible even through his shades. "Dime piece." The confirmation of something being up with her less than Christmassy themed outfit only stokes the fire in Colson's stomach though and makes his neck itch to twist back around but Ryan is continuing. "And then she flaunts their ex status like its some trophy whoever Marshall's seeing should be jealous of."

Even the quick toss of some eggnog into the back of his mouth doesn't smother his fire. If anything the weak liquor filled drink puffs like gasoline for Colson's nerves. "And what? She's gonna try and fuck him? Break us up?" Either of those things would happen over his dead body, or hers. He's not against slapping a bitch when it comes to his love life. "So much for him being the bitter yearning ex huh."

Ryan gives a little snort and nod before retopping up his drink. "Funny how that works aint it?"

Now Marshall's presence behind his back feels like a super magnet. Colson's eyes a set of steel balls trembling right before they're whipped back across the room to land on their target. He doesn't want to look just yet though, not now that he knows this jealous pit in his stomach is just further feeding into Kim's scheme. So he settles his eyes onto Ryan's shimmering gold chain instead. "Kinda dumb to compete with a dude by flaunting her old saggy tits and ass though." If Kim knew Marshall half as well as he does she'd know that neither of those can come close to competing with the huge cock hanging between his legs. "If he really needed to look at those there's at least 4 better pairs bouncing around the room right now."

Plus Colson had already taken a glimpse at Kim's flat ass on her way inside, the sad outline of a butt pad was clear as day to anyone within 20 feet of her.

"5 if you count his own." The honesty in Ryan's comment flashed a small strike of Colson's jealousy his way too. The clink of their glasses together in mutual agreement a little harder than needed. "I wouldn't waste your time worrying about it. Been like 6 or 7 years since she was actually successful with it."

"Yeah?" That still felt a little too soon for Colson's comfort. Even if he was only a sniveling brat in Marshall's mind back then.

"Yeah man, trust me, he ain't gonna risk shit with you for Cursed Kim over there." By now Colson's gaze has followed Ryan's, settling rather anxiously on the two with just as much intense focus as he had earlier. The small touch of Kim's fingers to Marshall's bicep tightening his own around the glass.

"For her sake he better not."

"Yeah?" Ryan's shoulder bumping his jostles his attention away again, this time the man is staying closer though. His warm breath felt on Colson's face when their eyes meet. The pretentious shades finally having slipped low enough to flash serious brown orbs. "He cheats and you gonna whoop HER ass? You that obsessed with Marsh?"

Colson can hear the disbelief, and see the close scrutiny he's suddenly being put under. But he doesn't back down from the look one bit. "If he fucks up that's on him, but he's still mine and I'm not gonna toss him over to her just because he acts like an idiot." Marshall cheating would hurt. Colson's already gone through that awful fear once before though, back when they had just started fucking and the question of monogamy came up. The mere thought of the other man touching someone else had almost killed him, and they weren't even dating yet. But it had also set Colson's mind that even if it did happen he wouldn't limp off to lick his wounds.

He's only going to dig his claws in deeper and stake his claim louder.

Marshall's his. Even if he fucks up and forgets that for a moment. He's his and Colson's never letting him go.

"He's mine."

Kim's manicure on his man's bicep is only temporary. Colson's gaze and quick feet will make sure of that.

"Damn, you might be worse than both of them, kid."

#this has sat in my drafts #so time to clean them out a bit #emgk #asks #i love asks

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zwowow · 3 years

Note

this might be very triggering so its fine if u dont do it, but kells self harming secretly and em finding out and kells thinks he’s gonna be mad but em is comforting instead

sorry for the ask, im the same anon that went thru a break up and it aint going well

tw: self harm

I’m sorry my love, break ups are rough and it really sounds like ur goin thru it. sorry this took a while! but hopefully you’ve had time to heal a bit between sending this ask nd now.

psa to all I’ve never self harmed, so i’m just hoping this captures the idk headspace? alright :/

He started when he was a teenager. That’s how long he’s been doing this shit. It’s fucking shameful that he hasn’t grown out of it in over a decade, but it’s also one of the only things that’s consistently soothed him. When weed isn’t enough to calm him, or shake him from a spiral of self-loathing, he always comes back to this. Not because it makes him feel better, but because it makes him feel something.

He can focus on the pain and only the physical pain. His emotions, the real world shit he has to deal with, can fall to the side for a moment and he can revel in the hurt. The hurt that he has control over.

That’s a part of it, too. Control. So much of the existential pain he feels is beyond what he himself can change. Everyone gets to have an opinion on him, and regardless if it’s good or bad, he has to know it and internalize it. He has no choice. Time moves on and he can’t control what his past self has done, but the regret eats him alive. His head spins when he thinks about all of the shit that’s wrong in his life that he no longer has the power to change.

But the harm he does himself? Knowingly and methodically? It’s all controlled. He’s got it all under control.

Or at least he did. Recently, he’s had the itch to hurt more and more frequently. There’s so much going on in his life that he’s no longer in control of even the one thing that makes him feel grounded. The old scars and fresh wounds are getting harder to hide. Even on his inked skin, raised bumps and sensitive bruises are easy to find when his boyfriend spends all of his time roaming his hands gently over his body.

But Em can’t find out. Colson refuses to let him. He’d think Colson is pathetic (he is). He’d be disgusted by him (he should be). He’d hate him (but he couldn’t hate him more than Colson hates himself).

He tries not to hurt himself around Em because of this, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. Sometimes he needs it.

Colson sneaks out of bed one night at Em’s place while his boyfriend is sleeping. On his way out, he grabs his small bag that has just a few of the items he uses to hurt himself. His fingers shake around the bag and his breath quickens in his chest.

Ain’t it funny that the shame he feels from doing this just makes him want to do it more?

When he makes it to a bathroom far enough away from Em’s room that he doubts he would make the effort to find him all the way down here, he lays the bag on the counter and opens it up.

This hadn’t started with the razor blades and lighters he keeps in the bag. He’s worked himself here from pulling out his leg hair and scratching his own arms raw just to feel the sting. The older and more well known he got, the more out of control he felt, and from there he made the jump from nervous ticks to genuine self harm.

He used to starve himself, too. He thinks back to only a couple of years ago and picks up the lighter. He could go days without eating, even while on tour. There were times where he’d pass out after shows from the hunger, but he’d write it off to others as exhaustion. That had been one of the most pleasing ways to hurt himself. The gentle build up to physical depletion to match what he felt emotionally was fulfilling in a way he couldn’t possibly explain to anyone.

And that’s why he stopped. Em started to catch on. He started to ask questions no one had asked before. He was obsessed with feeding Colson and keeping him healthy.

Colson started eating regularly because Em would’ve hated to know his not eating wasn’t just absent-minded forgetting. He would’ve been so disappointed to find out it was deliberate starvation. Colson didn’t want to disappoint Em.

He still doesn’t. Colson puts the lighter on the counter and takes out one of his blades, too. Em would hate to see this. He wouldn’t understand.

Inhaling shakily through his nose, Colson looks between his two options for tonight. He leaves the blade on the counter and picks up the lighter. Em is sure to notice if he has a fresh cut. A burn is easier to hide.

He flicks the lighter to life and is deciding where to hold it on his body when he hears the first knock.

“Kells.” Shit. He loosens his grip on the lighter and the flame goes out.

What is Em doing out of bed, and what the fuck is he doing down here?

“Kells,” Em tries again, “You good?”

“I’m fine.” He lies.

“Are you fucking smoking in there?” Outside, Em’s voice grows suspicious. He heard the lighter go on and now he thinks Colson is smoking weed in his bathroom. That would be easier to explain.

After too long of a pause he says, “No.”

Em doesn’t give a warning before he throws open the bathroom door. Colson wants to knock his head into the mirror for not thinking to lock it. He dives for the blade on the counter, but Em is staring right at it.

“What the fuck?” Em looks between Colson and the counter multiple times. It’s a stupid overdramatic response, but he wants to slit his fucking wrists from that look.

Em’s brow furrows. Colson feels sick to his stomach. Em is pissed at him. He’s disgusted by him. He doesn’t know whether to throw him out or call a mental hospital. He hates him. He must be so angry.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out. I was trying to hide it. I shouldn’t have done it here. I know it’s fucking sick. I know it’s fucking crazy to cut and burn myself, I know but I...” Excuses and apologies trip over each other running off of his tongue.

“You’re cutting yourself?” Em interrupts him. His intense gaze sweeps over Colson. He’s not disgusted or angry like he’d thought. He’s shocked, confused, and even a bit hurt.

“I... yeah.”

“Why?” A loaded question like that shoots Colson right through the chest. Why? He can hardly answer the question to himself, how is he supposed to explain it to Em?

Em said it himself, he was just clownin’ when talking about cutting himself, how fucked up does someone have to be to actually do that? Colson doesn’t want to explain to Em how fucked up he is.

When he doesn’t answer, Em looks back down at the blade and then at the lighter still in his hand. Kells sees the thousands of things he wants to say and the million questions he wants to ask in his eyes. Finally his eyes set, and Kells braces himself for the next thing to come out of Em’s mouth.

“Don’t do that shit tonight, yeah? Just come back to bed.” The response shocks Colson even more silent than he’d been. Does he still want to know why, or is he just dropping it?

As if reading his mind, Em shrugs, “You can tell me why when you’re ready. Tonight, I just want to cuddle your ass.” He holds out his hand to Colson and laces their fingers together tightly when he grabs on. Em tugs him gently out of the bathroom and down the hall back to his room. Colson leaves the lighter and the blade on the counter.

When they’re back in bed, Em holds him differently than he has before, His arm feels weighted, it presses Colson gently down into the bed, unable to move from the hold. Em holds him from behind protectively and breathes into Colson’s neck. It’s so close it’s almost claustrophobic, but Colson wouldn’t pull away from it even if he could. The urge to hurt himself is immediately replaced by the need to burrow in closer to Em’s grounding touch.

He falls asleep easily, letting the last of his shame and fear at Em’s reaction leave his body without a fight.

In the morning, he goes to clean his stuff up in the bathroom, or to throw it away, but not to use it. When he gets there, the bag, the razor, and the lighter are nowhere to be found. Instead of being anxious at the loss, he feels a bit calmed by it.

This isn’t the end. He won’t be able to stop hurting himself just because Em got rid of a few of his blades and one of his many designated lighters, but it is a start.

Em knows now, he’s looking out for it. And if the way he always acts toward him, from the making sure Colson is eating to the cuddle last night is any indication, he’ll be there when Colson needs it. He’ll take care of him.

#Anonymous #emgk #zwowfic #kind of a rushed ending #but i hope u liked it bebs #also like askbox nd messages are always open for those who wanna talk #tw: self harm

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stinkfacestories · 4 years

Text

Bull’s Eye

"Vaaashended.." Iron bull cursed. He and the Inquisitor found themselves at a dead end. The room was filled with large steel trimmed boxes. There was no escape.

"We fight then" The Inquisitor drew his sword.

"Not this one, boss. I'm not one to turn away from a fight but we have no exit. The whole base will flood this room if they catch us." Bull said. He was feeling the wall for hidden doors. Sometimes these bandits were smarter than they looked. He tapped one of the crates. Then another. He found a hollow one.

"Get in boss, we can hide till midnight then when there all asleep we can escape" Bull lifted the heavy hinged lid.

"You first" you said.

"Nah, if they find us I wanna be between you and the sharp edge of a weapon"

Bull lifted you up and set you in. He crawled in after. It was a tight fit for just a single human, let alone a qunari of bull’s swole size. The hatch was heavy though and when it closed it latched. A few moments of squirming and you were as comfortable as you were going to get.

The crate was well sealed, but not airtight. The body heat between you made you and Bull break out in a sweat.

"Boss? You good?"Bull asked.

"Good as I can be at the moment"

"That's your face I feel isn't it boss"

You paused. In the wriggling and wiggling to get the lid closed and be in a comfortable position Bull had squat squarely on your face.

"It is" you replied

You couldn't see but you bet Bull was smiling.

"Shit boss, I wasn't trying to. Here let me see if I can.." he tried to move. There was no way for his big body to fit inside the crate any other way. The shifting just resulted in his muscular cheeks slapping your nose side to side.

"It's fine, it's fine" you said, stopping him.

He stopped. "Hopefully we won't be in here to long"

The sweat was bad enough, but you were privy to the noxious fumes and odors of Iron Bulls rear.

"Less then four fucking days and here I am giving the Inquisitor the world's longest Rik'na a'Ishi"

You were picking up a few qunari words since bull joined but that one was new.

"Oh. It's just a stupid kid thing. Bullies tend to do it to weaker boys in the houses. I think the closest translation in human terms is smell, or stink face. Care to guess why?"

You didn't need to think very hard. Your nose clued you in. "I can guess Bull. I got a good nose and I don't think you bathed in a while"

A normal Rik'na a'Ishi would only be a few seconds. Have a friend kneel behind the target, push him so he falls, then rub your ass in his face.

"What's the point?" You ask.

"Kids being kids; make sure they know you're the dominant type; sometimes just for a laugh."

"From the outside I could see it being funny," you said.

Bull chuckled

"Yeah go on you can laugh"

"No boss, it's not that. I can feel your breath and it tickles" Bull said.

You moved your face around in the darkness. You notice that your nose has wedged itself in a hole torn in Iron Bulls pants. You traced the curve of his taught skin till it found the hair mangled valley of his cheeks. The Iron Bull was going commando. Your nose jumped over the chasm. The way he had been squatting had peeled the cheeks apart slightly; there was still miles of nutty brown flesh between you and the bullseye.

"You got a hole in your pants I think" you said.

Bull chuckled. "Yeah, that was a good Farakes" He suddenly got real quiet, as if he let some secret slip.

"What's a Farakas?"

'It's nothing boss."

"Is it like a party?"

"No. Some things are best keep secret boss"

"Well now I really want to know. Tell me what is a Farakas?" You blew out your nose. If Bull wasn't going to tell you he could expect a lot of tickling.

"I'd nothing. It's like a belch.." he trailed off muttering something under his breath.

"I didn't catch that last part; say again?"

"It's like a belch..but from your ass."

"You split a hole in your pants with a fart?"

"No, I split it with a good fart." He shifted again. "It's bad luck in the quen to say the word fart when your trapped in a cramped place; doubly so if it's the Bull who has his ass wedged in your face"

You recall your times in the barracks as a soldier, your older brothers and uncles. "Give me some credit Bull, I'm no featherweight mage."

"Oh boss, I know you're as badass as they come, but you don't know how bad the bulls ass can be. You know how Cullen keeps getting reports about a bear roaming around the camp at night but can't seem to find it?"

You had read the reports. For the past three nights just before dawn the night watchmen had been reporting low and long growling sounds. They were expecting a bear woken from hibernation, but they had yet to find any signs of the creature.

"Those are me," Bull said. "A sure sign I'm about to wake up is me letting slip with some slow growling juicy ones"

You shuddered "Maybe when we're back at base we can share a drink and I can experience this legendary beast. From a safe distance downwind that is."

You heard Bull's stomach groan. It was the cry of a tortured soul.

"If we have to stay in here much longer you may get to experience it up close. I'm gonna pinch it off as long as I can boss" Bull said.

What felt like hours passed. Guards kept coming in on routine patrols, none the wiser that two stowaways were crammed in one of their boxes. Your shoulder had begun to cramp. You needed to stretch it. With some working you managed to press it between Bull's legs.

"Woah, boss. Hello." Bull jerked as your arm ran along something long and rubbery.

You gave it a squeeze. "Feels like some sort of toy snake?"

You heard bull chirp. "Close boss. That's my toy snake"

You let go, red in the face. “Im sorry Bull I didn't mean to” “It's all good boss; I just usually like to know someone more than a few days before we get to the tug of war.”

Frantically you try and think of a way to change the topic, only to fail utterly by asking “So, what's got you so excited?” You squint so hard. You wish you could slap your own face. Of all the things to ask.

“Well I was just thinking about the last time I ripped one in someone’s face. The chargers and I were on the storm coast. We were waiting for some nobles to finish whatever shit nobles do when they are together. I was leaning on a rock just watching the waves. In and out. In and out. Really hypnotic. Guess I nearly dozed off. Snapped back to life when I let off a real tak’rethanka-- the wet roar of a dragon--. Rocky and Grim were behind me at the time. Poor grim took the brunt of the black. Rocky was ok. Nutty dwarf lost most of his sense of smell working with explosives. Grim though. That was the last day I remember Grim talking. Now he just grunts. I think I may have melted something in the guys brain, ya know boss?”

As Bull talked about the past you could feel his big rubbery snake bobbing and weaving up and down over your arm.

“That’s the kinda thing that gets you… excited… bull?” You say.

“Shiiit boss. No one really knows about that. I'm not usually with someone this long talking with them having my ass in their face. I’m into some weird shit aint I boss?” “Bull, if it's one thing I've learned about the world so far, it that there is too much crazy shit to worry about what makes people happy. If it makes you feel good I say do it.” You tell him.

“You’re alright boss. More than all right. Don't you worry though I won't let it mess with the job. And i'll make sure your plenty clear before I let rip” Bull says.

“That's gonna be kinda hard in here don't ya think. My face has been wedged in your ass for over an hour.” “I can hold it back boss” Bulls stomach whined again, this time louder. “This is a nasty one though. It's taking all my willpower to keep the beast at bay.”

“Just get it over with and let it rip. I don't want you to explode” You tell him.

“Nah I can't do that boss. This is a real bad one.”

“I know you want to Bull.” “No, no I want nothing of the sort” He tells you.

You reach out and slap his rubbery cock. “Your ardor gives you away. Trust is important, and truth is the basis of trust. You want to do this.”

Bull cursed in qunlat. “You see right through me boss.” He shifted again, “By the way I wanted to ask. That thing you do with your sword when you draw it. Where did you learn that?” “Well it's a funny story, a few years ago” You start, but you never got to finish the story. As soon as he had distracted you, bulls cheeks let fly with a low rumbling fart. It was like staring into the mouth of a dragon. It washed over you like rain. The entire crate vibrated. Your nose was assaulted with the smell of fresh steaming shit. Bull was a consummate master of the gassy arts. He could have just let things out in one monstrous crack, but he metered it out, just enough to maintain a low droning hum. He caught you mid breath so you were forced to breath in a lung full through your nose. Your eyes watered. Suddenly you knew why Grim may have lost his ability to speak.

The rest was silent.

You and Bull were in a sauna now. The floor was wet with buckets worth of sweat between you too. Bull just let out a sigh.

“I tell you boss, very few things feel as good as letting it out after you’ve held it that long.” There was no answer. “Boss? Are you still alive down there?” You coughed. “...Bull” you weakly groan out. Alive, but possibly barley. “How in the the maker can you make such a thing inside you”

Bull was blushing again. “I know. I know. I'm a master. Bet you regret giving me the permission eh boss?” “Shit no Bull. Out of all the farts I’ve ever been privy to in my life, that one will go down as the most epic, the most legendary. You have my permission to let rip whenever, wherever, you want.” Bull stifled a belly laugh. “I don't think the camp guards are gonna be happy about that.” “If anyone gives you trouble, you have my permission to sit on their heads. You can even sit on mine again if you ever want” You tell him.

There was a tender silence between you. As if you were both having a conversation about something more meaningful than farting.

“Boss….” Bull said. “Feel free to say no if this is outta line but, after this mess here is over. Do you wanna fuck?”

#Iron Bull #Human Male Inquisitor #Accidental Intentional Stinkface #Farting #Close Quarters

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

Phsychokinesis

You meet the League and butt heads with Clark.

Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Panic attacks

Phsychokinesis

You sat in the back of the batmobile for what felt like hours lost in your own thoughts, you regreted this already, why rock the boat now? you were fine, you were learning how to do this on your own, you didn't need anyone they'd get in the way Or hurt! Then they'd hate you, hunt you down, you wouldn't get away! Either that or they'd see you for the monster you was and just leave you somwhere this was a stupid idea, a silly childish hope of a fairytale ending of a home ,acceptance the hope of finding people who will understand, they wont, no one understands they can't. You panicked your breathing shallow, out! you had to get out slowly you looked around looking for the hinge that held the door infront of you closed it had flipped up like a trunk but in your panicked state you wouldnt be able to concentrate enough to send out your ripple instead you had to touch it you fumbled with the harness style seat belt cursing when your fingers couldn't grip finally useing your power the split the mechanism down the seam it must have sent a warning to him in the front as you heard his voice a few seconds later.

"Kid? Calm down Whats the matter?-"

"NO! Let me out stop, I've changed my mind I can do it on my own!" You cried out leaning forward blindly running your hands over the top of the door sliding your palms hurried wanting to find the weak spot to tear at sniffling as tears began falling blurring your vision 'stupid your so stupid!' You thought repeating over and over scrabbling over the top you couldnt find it! He continued talking low and calm trying to ease you out of your panic attack.

"Hey kid its okay your scared its natural to be scared okay? But I promise whatever your think is going to happen isn't, none of us are going to let anything happen to you, just take some deep breaths for me in......then out.....again for me in ...... and out....." you closed your eyes doing as he said kneeling on the floor shivering from the aftermath of your break down as you felt the vehicle stop. You slumped resting your head on the door in front of you and spoke in a quiet voice

"I can't do it again" You held your breath when you got no reply had he listened?

"Do what again?" You stayed silent he wouldn't have it and asked again in a different way

"What are you afraid of? Tell me so I can help, we just want to help"

"....I'm better off alone.." and there it was your words were loud and clear Bruce read between the lines the truth behind your fear and panic,abandonment, a kid who lost her parents and has been passed here there and everywhere thrown from home to home until finally you run away deciding you dont need anyone else he sighed.

"We wont leave you, not now your here weather you belive it or not the second you stepped into this car you were one of us and the others are eager to meet you"

"And when I hurt one of you? It will happen it always does its why they get rid of me." You venom in your voice made his blood go cold, you sounded like one of the many nut jobs he put away behind bars, the ones that wanted to watch the city burn with everyone in it ,all he could do was hope he wasn't to late.

"The only one you could hurt is me and if I'm not mistaken we have been over that already and you said so yourself you caught it, was I angry? Did I shout and attack you? Or call for back up? I could have but did I?"

You looked down fidgeting with your fingers a little feeling small he almost sounded like a parent and not in that hyped up I'm right and your wrong way you were used to it was more like trying to get you to understand him something you hadnt heard in a long time.

"Well? I expect an answer young lady"

"No, you didn't do none of those things"

"Right and you know why? It was an accident and accidents happen, besides one of us will always be there to watch out for you,everyone in this place is faster then you physically we are all stronger than you there is no need to worry, now lets go meet the team, We are already here." You sniffed a little wiping at your eyes.

"I suppose....I'm scared" He chuckled at that you sounded so tiny and vulnerable

"No their not scary at all come on" you waited a few breaths then the door opened and he was in front of you he sighed quickly lifting you out palcing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You looked around this place was huge with various different vehicles air land and sea all in matte black spanning the length of the huge space.

"Holy shit..." he hummed in agreement

"Immpressive huh?" You looked around some you recgonized from news footage in gotham.

"Yeah you have a lot of.....weird things here" he shrugged just happy that your little break down had passed, he knew the others were watching through the security eager to meet you, but he wanted to make sure you were okay. He cleared his throat nodding to the elevator that would take you up into the main tower.

"This way we can go and meet the team then get you settled in for the night" you blinked at him

"What?" He crossed his arms standing tall

"Well it is nearly eleven pm and your only what fourteen? you shouldnt be up this time, what about school?"

"Im sixteen and I don't go to school I do online...when I can be bothered" he sighed walking to the elevator you trailed behind him as he sent it moving up.

"Fine, either way you can stay here tonight, there is a room ready for you" you nodded a little apprehensive finally the doors opened revealing a huge room with a large round table the others sat around it smileing at you batman pushed you forward when he saw you freeze a little the small nudge sent you walking forward into the room. Wonder woman was the first to approach you with a smile

"Hello Im Diana its nice to meet you we're glad you decided to come" she was beautiful ,polite and looked kind, you almost forgot how powerfull she was just by speakjng to her

"H-hi Im y/n its....nice to meet you too" you said quietly scanning the room still nervous looking for escapes just incase, the window, thick glass but doable not sure how far the free fall would be- your thoughts were interrupted by a gruff voice

"I wouldn't we're pretty high" you snapped your gaze up to Aquaman he was....unerving to say the least, he gave of a chill and slightly playfull attitude.

"What?" He smirked nodding to the window

"Your checking for escape I could see it in your eyes, hell sometimes I want to throw myself out the window to escape this lot but were pretty high, I mean wonder boy over there would catch you no doubt but still waste of a window dont ya think?" You smiled a little blushing tangling your hands in your hoodie.

"Itd be fixed before I was a quarter of the way down, its just a habit.Sorry" He smiled waving it off

"Nah your fine its smart you want a back up plan I'm Arthur by the way." You nodded still lookkng around everyone noted you didn't drift to far from Bruce which in a way was good he become a sort of saftey net it seemed. They all new what happened on the way here and downstairs. You were holding up well considering how terrified you were. They all drifted to the table taking their seats, when you didn't follow Bruce came up behind you taking your bag walking to the huge round glase table you followed behind him.

"Jesus what do you have in here? Thats way to heavy for you to be lugging around" he complaind as he set it down lettingnyou take a seat next to him.

"Books,clothes, my phone ,headphones and purse I take everything with me when I leave the homes, its easyier that way don't have to go hunting for it later" you shrugged everyone in the room frowned. It was Clark who began speaking

"So thats everything you own?" You nodded a little scared of him if you were honest you were scared of all of them.

"Pretty much, when it comes to foster homes in Gotham their not the best to put it bluntly us kids are money makers, the state pays them to take me in, when your younger theres more to it they put you somewhere nice with good poeple that care, you know try to make you a model citizen all that crap but teens no we get the shit ones given a bed and told to get on with it we are lost causes by this point just waiting to age out and be fucked off, I haven't been to my foster home in three weeks they haven't tried to get in touch or anything they dont care, occasionally they file a missing persons report and police find you and take you back but thats only cos of the inspections if I aint there when the do a spot check the money stops and they can be stricken off the register loose about $400 a month, but I prefer being out on my own" He frowned crossing his arms infront of his chest taking a deep breath leaning back, you fidgited a little under his intense gaze leaning to Bruce he didn't look happy at all and you weren't sure what you'd done but you felt like you'd irritated him, you cast a glance to Batman who was giving you a similar look making you gulp.

"So where have you been sleeping then for these three weeks?" you snapped your head back to the Man of steel.

".......with freinds and stuff....." he raised an eyebrow he didn't need to hear your pulse change to know you were lying it was clear from the way you spoke quiet and high but he would leave it for now.

"Well from now on you will be home by eight at the latest" you blinked you were expecting an argument or some dismissive 'oh it can't be that bad' but not a curfew... honestly you wasn't sure what to make of it and that made you angry, you wasn't used to people caring for you, your first instinct is to scare them away.

"err what? not being funny but I'm here to get my freaky power under control not to get a fucking life coach, had one he quit...like not just me he quit completely something about having the devil inside or something...Not sure if that was aimed at me tho...Probably...He was old as shit" you shut up when he tilted his head leaning back it was a very...Parental gesture you swear your dad did the same thing when he was alive.

"Well that was before I learned of your situation and the fact that your living on the streets at the moment." you growled at him any fear replaced with anger and a little panic he knew... he definitely knew you were lying the air rippled around you coming to life.

"Are you deaf? I've been staying with friends.... Not that its any of your fucking business"

"Friends from your online classes you never do? now I don't see that somehow" you shook glaring at him

"Fuck you!" he stood up not taking notice of the way your eyes glowed you panicked normally that was enough to make them back off he wasn't, standing you faltered not sure what to do you wanted to scare him off, make him back down but you didn't want to hurt him, you freaked out a little as he continued coming around towards you swearing trying to pull back your power not wanting to attack him but in the state you were in it was hard you couldn't grasp it you winced hearing the crackling of the floor beneath you fighting it as it tried to rise up toward him.

"Calm down. I know your lying I can hear it in your pulse now I know for a fact that you've been on the streets and I'm guessing its more because your frightened of hurting them rather than all this teenage 'better of alone' bravado your trying to play it off as. And as for having a life coach Instead of that you'll be getting a family"

"Shut up!" you were really panicking now he had managed to figure you out break past your walls quick and you wanted him to stop.

"...I know your a good kid and have had a rough ride having to grow up to soon now its time to be a kid again. So from now on you will have a safe place to stay each night sometimes that will be here other times it will be with one of us" he kept coming slowly towards you, you stepped back only everyone watch tense but not out of fear or trepidation just ready to dodge what ever you might do.

"I'm not going to be a fucking charity case- this was a bad idea Im leaving" you made to grab your bag but it wasnt by you chair anymore you swore

"Your not leaving and your not going to be a charity casenow calm yourself down"

"What you can't force me to stay here!" You backed off now sending out your power feelkng for your bag wanting to get out of here fast, this was a stupid thing to do, trust people? You cant trust anyone.

"I will if I think thats whats best for you,you can't hurt me... You can't hurt any of us and that is probably scaring you isn't it? its been a long time since you wasn't the strongest person in the room, since you were able to be yourself with out having to have absolute control of every thought and movement... I know because I've been there myself when I was growing up and the shock and fear I had fighting Zod and Batman it was frightening realizing that I could be hurt, its terrifying having something you don't understand or control and you think no one will understand, thats the same for each of us at some point we realized we are not like everyone else and we were alone wanting help someone to turn to thats why we are going to help you, so you can have some form of normality" you gave him a side glance shaking he understood? you thought he must of had it worse you couldn't imagine having to deal with his abilities.

"Normal? Thats not an option for me, people can't even touch me" you cried out as he sped towards you tuggeding you forward to him making you jump everything happed so fast you couldn't catch it you closed your eyes tight shaking like a leaf knowing that you'd just attacked him unintentionally probably killed him you whined waiting for the inevitable attacks from the others instead the hug tightened he chuckled

"Look its okay"slowly you opened your eyes looking down the small spikes had snapped as they touched him instead of impaling him you gasped stepping back.

"They didn't?" he smiled shaking his head.

"No they cant...I told you, you cant hurt us" you smiled a little sniffling as tears escaped you felt silly but happy relieved you might be able stay here... you could be here with them with out worrying about loosing control they can handle it.

"I-I dont have to run?" he smiled pulling you back against him

"No you dont have to run...I'm sorry I had to make you attack me it was the only way to make you see you can't hurt me and its the same with Victor, Arthur and Diana Barry is to fast and Bruce well he will think of somthing he usually does, here you can be yourself and relax a little be a kid again and yes that means rules and curfews" you smiled nervously as he retreated a little he was sad you hadnt returned the hug he could tell you were touch straved and you probably didn't even know it.

"I-I cant stay what about the social workers-"

"Hey what did he just say? you be the kid we will deal with all that." it was Diana who had interrupted as supes made his way back to his seat faster then you could register pulling back looking at the floor correcting it as you sat back down.

".... was a dick move tho supes"

"Clark call me Clark, no need for our other names here we're family" you nodded a little it sounded strange when he said it.

"and I would appreciate it if you watched your mouth its not lady like" you snorted

"The only lady like thing on me is my v-jay" you deadpanned Arthur roared up at that as Clark rolled his eyes next to introduce themselves was a man who didn't look much older than you.

"Hi I'm Barry, its great to have someone not old here now, they look fun but they are all boring" you laughed at to chorus of grunts and scoffs.

"Well I can't promise I'll be much fun.." he shook his head

"Seriously? I cant wait to see you in action properly, its one thing to see it on screen but honestly, I wanna see you do the glass thing how does that work anyway? Like how do you do what you do?" You leaned back into your chair.

"Err its kind of weird.... its like ripples?" he tilted his head

"Ripples?" You nodded nervous knowing everyone was listening.

"Yeah o-or waves, Im always sending them out and I can feel everything they feel.... so sitting here I can feel the wall over there.....its close so I can make better sense of it and have better control I can move it like clay.... then to fix the things I break I just zip them up....I can show you if you like? and its okay?"you looked around the room everyone nodded a gruff

"Just be careful" came from behind you, within seconds your eyes glowed bright and the huge table shattered into hundreds of thousands of tiny pieces across everyone they stayed still holding there breath.

"did you hit it? To make it do that?" Arthur asked wanting to understand how it works.

"No I pulled it from all sides ,It feels like pulling apart a huge jigsaw when I do that.....tugging I can stretch it two but that makes it weaker I just make it thinner and larger when I do that.....then I just think of the pieces edges being a zipper that fits back together. Its ends up being so tiny you can't see it" You did as you said pressing them together slowly but surly the table mended itself creating three thirds then used the floor to push them up until it mended from the center out becoming crystal clear glass again.

"OH GOD THAT WAS SO COOL! Can you fix my phone screen its been annoying me for weeks?" You nodded as he produce the phone and you quicky fixed it for him he stared at it in awe running his fingner over wheee the cracks were

"Thats so cool...And usefull"

"Phsychokinesis" you turned slowly to the final man.....cyborg

"Phsychowhatsit?" He chuckled at you

"Thats your gift its called phsychokinesis like telekinesis but instead of moving things without touching them you can manipulate physical things, their forms, but my geuss is for some reason you can pinpoint actual molecules instead of clumps of them together" you tilted your head at him you it had a proper name.

"Yeah thats right I can't make things float, only move and change em and I can't do it on anything living no plants or animals." He nodded

"Im victor, the one who found you, I've seen you do some incredible things.....Are you aware of everything that you do or does a lot of things just happen?" You shrugged

"Most just happen, the table I did but.....when people make me jump I try to attack them" you cast a guilty glance at batman behind you he waved you off.

"I dont mean to and if I trip or fall the ground softens ,if i fall really high it rises to catch me...water to I can't go onnthe diving board it gets weird...I don't do any of that either just happens....but I catch them most of the time before things go to bad"

"Self preservation, you said you send out these....Ripples all the time? You cant pull them back?"

"No I tried once it really hurt it was like....It felt like someong ripping my skin off, of burning my nerves i passed out in under a mineut....my fault tho" Arthur sat up leaning over the table

"Whats your fault?" You smiled sadly

"I- after I killed my parents I put it away it was an accident but it was me who did it.....Stopped useing it completly I'd suppressed it then about a year ago.... yeah I had to use it to save my freinds on a school trip... I tried to sheild them protect them, but the oil tanker was huge! I couldnt hold it for long and as much as I wanted to I just couldnt push it back to the water and......my gift it was much stronger then I remembered it hurt.....couldn't hold it... since then I can't put it back"

"So you've always had it? Then surpressed it for years and then it blew up and now you can't control it? I think it reacts to protect you, when you fall you don't want to hit the ground and be hurt so it moves to accommodate you instead your power is trying to protect you."

"That....makes a lot of sense.... shit word tho my names gonna be fucking lame...." Barry laughed.

"eh we can thing of somthing.... well I can they all added man and woman to something" you giggled a little Diana got up smileing at you

"Y/n its late we should probably get you to bed" you blinked at her then got up slowly. Everyone said their good nights as you left the room looking around wearly

"Dont worry, nothing will happen here" she said moving closer slowly hooking an arm across your shoulder you tensed but it only flicked across the floor, like a stepping into a puddle of sand then levled again you relaxed again.

"See? Like Clark said we are family here so just think of us as your aunt and uncles we will protect you...now this is your room you can decorate it soon and there is a small ensuite to, all of us have rooms here homes away from home and soon you will probably be coming with us to our other homes aswell but for now you will stay here training for a while while we sort out the legal side of things. Im across the hall Clark is next door and Bruce two doors down"

"Bruce?" She rolled her eyes a little snorting

"Batman, he always finds a way to hide his own name paranoid bat" you sighed frowning

"ho-how are you going to sort out the social worker thing? I know you said not to worry but I wont be able to sleep..." she smiled patting your shoulder sitting on the bed with you.

"Adoption and as much as I would love to adopt you from what just happend I'm pretty sure Clark isn't going to let anyone else do it"

"Sounds like you knew my situation befor I got here, you can't just adopt me tho thats like a lot of home checks and and you have to pay a lot of money thats not fair-"

"We did know...Bruce has adopted his fair share already and will be pulling a few strings for us tho as I said I'm pretty sure Clark has decided already you need a more quiet stable home, as lovely as Bruces children are they are boisterous and human which can put you on edge which isn't what we want. Clark has one kryptonian son who is older than you and would be well equipped to help you over come any hiccups.Now just relax, go have a shower brush your teeth and get some sleep?" you looked at her wide eyed adopted...By Superman....and having a brother who you also cant hurt.

"Im not tired-" she tilted her head raising a brow at you

"You need sleep your a growing girl, I expect you in bed in half an hour I will know if your not and if your not I'm sending in Clark" you nodded in a way it was nice having someone who cared.

"Good night I will see you in the morning" she said closing the door. You looked across the room it was nice a large twin bed, your bag had been placed on it somehow, a desk tv on the wall built in wardrobe and a door in the corner what you assumed lead to the ensuite. after a few moments you got up using the shower and brushing your teeth before changing and crawling into bed, tonight was strange but it was nice to have somewhere safe to sleep and you was happy you couldnt hurt superman. you fell into a deep sleep fairly easily to warn out not to vaguly aware of someone pokeing their head in the room to check on you.

#justice league x reader #dc imagine #dc x you #dc x reader #dc x y/n #dc x teen reader #justice league x teen reader

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