#aka the brainrot has taken hold

[notamortician]

so I’ve heard y’all like Slitherwing Ingo..

( rbs appreciated! )

[dragonagitator]

House MD fans: You wake up in the PPTH ER in summer 2004. What you doing?

Scenario parameters:

All your memories of the show and the past 20 years are intact.

You are stuck there/then and cannot return to our universe/year.

You have nothing but the hospital gown on your back.

Questions:

So, what do you do?

How much would you tell House?

How would you get him to believe you?

Who else would you tell?

How much would you tell them?

Inspiration:

The author self-insert isekai fanfic "Intervention" by VivatRex (aka @acrownforaking). They've been writing it for the past 11+ years and are still updating. It's already nearly 300k words long despite only being up to the events of S02E15. I AM IN AWE.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this scenario ever since I read that fanfic a month ago. I'd love to discuss it with other House MD fans and hear what you would do.

(Apologies to the mutuals for the abrupt blog topic change. A new brainrot has taken hold.)

My short answer:

My long answers are below the cut.

So, what do you do?

My primary objective would be to enlist House in averting the pandemic.

My reasoning: If anyone can nip it in the bud before it gets out of Wuhan, I figure that a world-renowned genius doctor who is an infectious diseases specialist, speaks Mandarin, and now has a 15-year head start would have the best chance.

Difficulty level: Babysitting a narcissistic manchild with the self-preservation instincts of a toddler until the year 2020 so that he makes it there then alive, out of prison, and with his sanity, medical license, and professional reputation intact. To quote Quantum Leap, "Ohhhhhh boooooooy."

Strategy: I'm in the "I could fix him, but whatever's wrong with him is way funnier" camp, so I wouldn't try to change him (that always backfires anyway). Instead, I'd try to change his circumstances:

A stable romantic relationship would help, so I'd seduce him if I can (I'm not his type but a gal's gotta shoot her shot), try to get him together with Dominika earlier if I can't, and tell him how horribly his relationship with Cuddy ended so he knows better than to even start it.

Avert the shooting. Moriaty was a patient so his info is in the PPTH files. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS. Or for a less murdery approach, try to get him arrested in April 2006 for violating New Jersey's strict gun laws.

Warn House about Tritter so he can switch patients with another clinic doctor.

Warn House to never get on a bus with Amber.

Tell Kutner I'm from the future and he's the only one who can prevent something horrible from happening (he's a Trekkie so he'll want to believe), then unfurl my big timeline poster and point at the "Kutner suicide early 2009" stickynote and ask him "so what's up with that, dude?"

Tell Wilson everything I can remember about his cancer -- he's an oncologist and thus can work backwards from there to figure out when to start checking for it so he can cut the tumor out while it's still just a tiny baby.

I would take a harm reduction approach to House's drug use, e.g., suggest that he try microdosing psilocybin and extend his liver's lifespan by substituting cannabis for some of his Vicodin and alcohol consumption.

Methods: Even though he doesn't have one for most of the show, House mentions a few times that he's entitled to hire an assistant, and I happen to be excellent at administrative work.

I think he'd be willing to hire me because working as his executive assistant / department secretary would position me to recognize patients as they come in so that I can discreetly pass along anything I remember, e.g., the kindergarten teacher has pork worms in her brain, ask the scientist in Antarctica to show you her feet, etc.

Meanwhile, I could lurk around the hospital preventing miscellaneous shit, e.g., get the gift shop volunteer from S01E04 to go home sick, ensure that the gunman from S05E09 is promptly admitted, diagnosed, and treated before he snaps and takes hostages, etc.

Possible sidequests:

Use my foreknowlege to get rich by milking online poker bonuses until the passage of the UIGEA in 2006, use my poker money to start flipping houses until 2007, get in on the "Big Short" in 2008, and set a Google Alert for "Bitcoin" so I can start mining/buying it from day one. Unfortunately, I haven't paid enough attention to individual stocks to play the market other than knowing that Amazon would be a good long-term buy & hold.

Use my riches to change the outcome of the 2016 election and try to steer the development of the internet and society in general in a slightly less stupid direction.

Send Pete Carroll a letter postdated just before the 2013 Superbowl telling him the outcome, then suggest for the final play of the 2014 Superbowl that the Seahawks try handing the ball off to Marshawn Lynch instead of throwing it because that throw will be intercepted. PRIORITIES.

How much would you tell House? How would you get him to believe you?

Your story about being from the future of an alternate universe in which House and everyone he knows are characters on a fictional TV show is already too batshit crazy to believe even without his kneejerk "everybody lies" skepticism. How would you differentiate yourself from all the patients who pull crazy stunts to try to get him to take their case?

My answer: For the "from the future" part, I'm hoping there's some sort of test that House could run to confirm that I was indeed vaccinated with a mRNA vaccine against the COVID-19/SARS-COV-2 virus. Given that neither of those things existed in 2004, that would be physical evidence that I'm not from around here now.

If producing physical evidence isn't possible, then I know that Vegetative State Guy from S03E15 is already a patient at PPTH because he'd been there for 10 years, so I'd find him and tell House about his son. I could also tell House enough about the cases from the first few episodes that I'm pretty sure he'd believe me by Christmas. I want in on Chinese food with Wilson.

I would wait until House accepted the "from the future" part before broaching the "fictional TV show" issue. Until then, "I watched a TV show about your life and cases" is a 100% true statement and it's not my fault if he assumes that show was a documentary. :)

Once he believed me, I'd tell him everything.

Who else would you tell? How much would you tell them?

There are people out there who would literally kill for your knowledge of the future, so going public or being too open about it seems highly risky.

My answer: I'd tell House, Wilson, and Chase right away. Kutner but not before Jan 2009. Maybe eventually Cuddy and the rest of the Diagnostics team if keeping my foreknowledge of the future from them proves too difficult.

House is the only one who gets to know everything. Everyone else is on a "need to know" basis.

I might also bring Bill Arnello (the brother/lawyer of the mob informant in S01E15 "Mob Rules") into the circle of trust because he could be a very useful resource for some of my sidequests, e.g., changing the outcome of the 2016 election far far far in advance and in the most direct way possible. (Hi, Secret Service! This is a purely hypothetical discussion about time travel and not at all indicative of any real criminal intent, pls do not pay me a visit, kthxbai.)

I think the only people I would tell the "fictional TV show" part to would be House, Wilson, and Chase, because there are things I need to warn them about that definitely wouldn't have been in a documentary. Like Chase needs to know that killing Diballa is 100% the right thing to do but he seriously needs to work on his OpSec. Everyone else gets the implied documentary lie of omission.

If I get caught knowing too much by random patients, I'll just claim to be psychic. Way more people believe in that than would believe in time travel.

What would you do?

[fallingdownhell]

Neuvillette's brainrot #3: Dragons hoard treasure and Neuvillette is no exception; he's super over-protective of his most precious treasure, aka you.

Yeeeess!!

But I don't think he would be the overbearing type of overprotective. He's just concerned about your well being..

He just has to make sure you're safe at all times, you're the most important thing in this world to him, after all..

I think he would offer to train you in self defense, no matter if you posses a vision or not. He just wants you to be able to protect yourself. He is reasonable, after all. He knows he can't be with you 24/7, even if he wishes he could..

Definitely would put an arm around your shoulder or waist when your out in public. Both to hold you close to him and show others that you're already happily taken.

Would glare at people you talk to from a distance, but never outright chases them away, unless he notices you feeling uncomfortable.

Man.. I want someone like this man in my life, no joke😭

[pollenallergie]

billy billy billy billy....how does he hold hands? i know thats such a like weird question but does he tangle his fingers with yours? does he hold one of your hands in both of his? is he overhand? underhand? are his hands sweaty? do you hold them anyways??? can u tell the brainrot is beginning

it may be a weird question, but it’s also the BEST question.

OKAYYY

so, i think it depends on the circumstances how he’s holding your hand, so let’s tackle the obvious first:

his hands are a little clammy, but not necessarily sweaty… mostly because his hands have never ever in his whole live been warm enough for his palms to be truly sweety. @eddies-hid3out told me once that billy probably has poor circulation so he’s always a lil chilly and his hands and feet are like icicles, and i firmly believe that to be true. the man is cold all the time. he is in need of hugs and warm tea and wool jumpers all the time. without his daily 10+ cuppas, the man just wouldn’t survive. the amount of earl grey he goes through in the span of a week is both impressive and concerning.

but obviously you hold them anyways even if they’re clammy!!! because the poor lad needs to warm up and you’ve made yourself his living handwarmer, that’s one of the unspoken requirements of being in love with him… you will make it your personal responsibility to keep him warm and cosy. he always goes on and on about how you don’t have to worry about him and how you do too much for him, but honestly? he can (respectfully) shut up about all that, because the man deserves to be pampered and well taken care of!!!

in public, like when you’re walking places together, i think billy’s mostly a finger-weaver. it’s more practical for those occasions and it gives him something to hold onto, something to tether himself to when he gets particularly anxious about being in public… it also gives you something to tether yourself to when you get anxious about being in public, which makes billy favour that sort of hand-holding even more in those situations.

however, in more intimate, private settings (at home, huddled up in a quiet corner in a bookstore, sat a quaint little table in a mostly empty café, etc.), billy’ll be holding one (if not both) of your hands in both of his own, cradling it/them as if it/they were the most precious, lovely thing(s) in the whole world (to him, they are). he’s holding both of your hands, cradling them gently within his own and pressing warm, chaste lil kisses to your knuckles while he listens attentively to you as you talk to him about any and everything that comes to mind. if billy’s feeling particularly affection-starved, he’ll forsake the hand-holding in favour of bringing your hands, gently held by his own, up to cradle his rosy cheeks, and the minute he feels your warm palms on his cheeks, he’s nuzzling into your touch like a greedy lil housecat who’s luxuriating in the pets it’s owner gives it.

bestie i am sooo soooo immensely glad that the billy knight brain rot has infected you too!!! obsessing over billiam is my favourite hobby of all time and the more people i can share that with (aka the more people i can relentlessly spam with my thoughts), the better. <3

[better-dead-than-in-hell]

i wrote a fic about the sad gay people

the great gatsby has taken a hold of me like some sort of great creature and i have brainrotted so hard over these two that i wrote this thing (aka the longest oneshot i have ever made)

[gently-decaying-flowers]

oh my god you guys @loganmothman and i are working on a Good Omens AU and AAAAA ITS SO COOL

most of this brainrot so far is my doing, but to be fair it was his idea first (and when we get a plot going i will be writing and he will be drawing :DD right? i think so- (logan plz confirm that)

ANYWAYS! enjoy this for now! there will prolly be more info added later hehe :3

Church AU Brainrot

-Crowley- 🐍

- serpent from eden, became a priest to avoid the choice between heaven and hell

- holy water tears, leaving scars due to the half of him that is still hell incarnate

- he/him (secretly he/they)

- feels extreme guilt on behalf of both sides of him, when he does something good he betrays hell and when he does something bad he betrays heaven

- religious trauma to the MAX (if that wasn’t obvious already)

- becomes good friends with Nina and Maggie (will develop backstory for that later)

- often very quiet. he doesn’t lead any like mass, he mostly just hides in the background (to avoid being found out by the churchgoers) but he does occasionally allow people in to see him one on one (this is a very rare occurrence tho)

- remembers the angel of the east gate, and thinks about her often. he can’t really figure out why, but he often feels like she’s there with him.

- They were together (as in how they are in the show, running into each other every once in a while) until 1827 (grave robbing minisode) when Crowley decided to become a priest. He was overwhelmed with uncertainty about how good heaven actually is, but he didn’t want to stay with hell and be forced to hurt people, or let them hurt themselves.

- he often writes in a journal, sometimes seeking God’s help and sometimes seeking Satan’s. (it’s like his personality is split in half, and when he feels both he is in immense emotional distress)

- When he gets very stressed/angry his eyes turn full snake and he has to step outside of the church (consecrated ground)

- when he feels happy (rarely) or feels love (aka the presence of Azi) his eyes turn blue

How Crowley met Nina and Maggie:

There’s a small apartment right above Nina’s coffee shop, and one above Maggie’s record shop. Nina has her own apartment, so when Crowley got his Hell Appointed apartment taken from him- he didn’t know what to do. Nina noticed him living out of his Bentley and offered for him to rent out the apartment. Because he doesn’t make much money as a priest, he helps out at the shop when he can and collects tips to begin paying off his debt to Nina. (Even though Maggie has convinced her not to make him pay as much as often. We also see a little of Maggie and Nina’s relationship explored through Crowley’s interactions with them. Because of their love, he begins to find hope for himself- later finding out about the ineffable bureaucracy and having a crisis)

-Aziraphale- 🪽

- Angel of The East Gate

- uses all pronouns (i use she for her mostly tho)

- A representation of a biblically accurate angel (multiple halos, tons of glowy eyes and extreme power)

- fell in love with Crowley in the garden of eden.

- Azi did have a “human ish disguise” up until the incident in 1827, where Crowley decides to become a priest due to not wanting to get punished for saving and helping people. Azi was therefore banished to heaven for failing to “defeat evil”

- They were obviously distraught to be torn away from him, especially when he could use guidance now so she started to secretly watch over him when she could. they became a guardian angel of sorts

- behind the scenes she’s been trying to find a way to get back to earth for him

- Started her studies to become a “better servant of god” which then in turn made her a guardian Angel of sorts

- they desperately want to help Crowley choose (mostly heaven but it’s a guilty thought for them) so he isn’t stuck in this terrible limbo between

- Azi isn’t respected in heaven, but he holds out hope and never lets it get him down. they’re the good guys, so whatever they do has reason :) (oh yeah, she’s got trauma too. very very blinded. she struggles to understand why Crowley won’t pick a side, but she loves him anyway)

[sesshy380]

I’m very curious about the eldritch au! What’s that all about?

I had actually posted a snippet back in January (when the brainrot was intense) (Link to post)

So the original idea came from my sister sharing a dream she had that made her want to start writing again. It was about an eldritch being that had wandered the Earth for countless millennia, and was lonely. Brain said 'That would make a great Puzzleshipping fic!'.

Going to copy/paste the premise from my docs:

Yami is an Eldritch Prince who has wandered the earth for countless millennia. One day, he stops and looks in on a happy group of friends who are vacationing together in a cabin out in the middle of the woods. He feels the awkward tug of loneliness that he has encountered at random times throughout history. One of them, a spiky-haired young man, accidentally stumbles upon him and isn’t frightened by his ‘otherworldliness’ (Yami has taken the form of a deer at this point, but that ‘other’ is still there about him). Instead, the young man appears intrigued by him. After the young man leaves and goes back to his friends, Yami can’t help but want to see more of him. The young man, Yugi, encounters him a few more times during his vacation weekend, each time not showing fear of the ‘other’. When Yugi and his friends leave, Yami feels compelled to seek out the boy. He longs to feel whatever it was that had begun to stir deep within him each time Yugi was near. He finds Yugi, following him at a distance. He attempts to disguise himself as a human to get closer to Yugi. Ryou, one of Yugi’s friends, senses that something is off with the new friend Yugi has made, and after pouring over his various books on the occult and mythical beings, believes he knows what Yami actually is. The problem is convincing Yugi that Yami is an Eldritch. A few months pass, and strange things begin happening in Domino. Strange sights, a growing number of mysterious disappearances, and Yami knows he is not the one responsible (though he does hunger, but he’s been trying his best to ignore it). Kek and Zorc (Yami Marik and Yami Bakura respectively) appear. They are Reclaimers sent to hunt down and bring Yami back to the Eldritch Plane so that he can take his place as the next Eldritch Lord (the former Lord has joined the Cosmic Void, and so his chosen successor must take his place, aka. Yami). It turns out that the mysterious disappearances of local humans are due to Zorc (Yami Bakura), who has taken the opportunity to feast while he is in the Plane of the Living. The bizarre events are due to Kek (Yami Marik) having fun at the expense of humanity. Neither have been permitted to leave the Eldritch Plane until recently (and only because they were sent on a mission to bring back Yami), but they have deviated from their goal, and are now bringing about Discord and Madness. Strange storms begin occurring as Nature attempts to correct things. Yami’s essence was hidden from Nature. Zorc and Kek’s are only semi-hidden, and acting upon their baser instincts is not helping them. That’s not all. Zorc and Kek have assumed the forms of Ryou and Marik. They need to draw from the lifeforce of the one they’ve ‘copied’. Yami is a Prince, so he is able to negate this while being Yugi’s copy. Zorc and Kek are slowly killing Ryou and Marik by being their copies. Yami must decide: Stay with the one that makes him feel something that he cannot describe and would give anything to hold onto, or take his place as the next Eldritch Lord and never see Yugi again in order to set things right.

I have over 5k poured into the details alone of this idea. I normally don't 'plot' by writing things down, but this was one idea that would not let go until I did. I have a few small scenes (like the one linked...it's actually the longest), breakdowns on the different types of Eldritch seen and how they affect the world around them, how the transformations work, etc.

I will write this in it's entirety one day...it's just being able to put the focus on it that's stopping me atm. I am bound and determined to finish my current longfic before I attempt to take on something of equal magnitude.

[atlanticsea]

heya! I don't know if you've done this but would you explain the two results for ghost/haunted house (specifically haunted house) a bit more? I love your quizzes so much they give me so much to think about thank you for making them!! I've been having major brainrot over SPK

Hi omg I'd LOVE to I love that quiz.

So the base inspiration for that quiz is this poem I wrote (sorry for linking to my insta 😭) and my favourite character dynamic that I call "bound to disappear, bound to remember" aka character A is bound to be forgotten in some way while character B is bound to be the only person to remember them. Character A usually exits the narrative while character B devotes their life to keeping them in it. For examples of media where this happens, think Baricco's Novecento, Merlin BBC, Doctor Who, and to a certain extent Fleabag, The Bear, Russian Doll... Basically I really like characters who haunt the narrative and have it shaped around them despite no longer being there, and I really like sad lonely immortals. To this day Merlin BBC is my favourite TV show despite having watched endlessly better stuff just because of the ending. Free me from this hell. Anyways.

Now for the broader haunted house/ghost dynamic itself. On a literal level, I wanted to twist it on its head a bit and instead of thinking of haunted houses as houses that get inhabited by ghosts and thus become haunted, I wanted to consider them as haunted houses that exist as such regardless and create ghosts (= hold on to people) to exist properly. I thought it would be interesting to have houses without their own physicality, while ghosts do have a physicality and are losing it due to the houses holding onto them. It hurts the ghosts to be held back like this, because it dilutes them: if they lose all they are to haunted houses, they don't have anything anymore.

Metaphorically speaking, the haunted house is bound to remember while the ghost is bound to disappear. Haunted Houses live in the past and project their favourite memories on the wall while Ghosts do not get to exist in the present and are held back in the past by people's perception of them. Haunted Houses stay, Ghosts leave -- or, sometimes, Haunted Houses leave and take the Ghosts with them.

I will say that this quiz is a lot less balanced than SPK in that Haunted Houses are kind of explicitly built to hurt Ghosts - not on purpose, but as a consequence. This is why I stressed that this specific one should NOT be taken as a personality quiz 😭 Sorry to anyone I called a miserable wreck that took it personally, that was directed to Merlin of Merlin BBC fame who has been trapped in grief for over a thousand years 🙏 You can however relate to it in a non-damaging way haha I just built the quiz around characters in very specific dramatic situations, I personally think I'm more of a haunted house, and what that means for me is that I have lived in many places and left many people and sometimes get vertigo thinking about all of them, wondering how many remember me, wondering who they are now, wondering if they know the only living version of them in my head is from ten years ago. They're ghosts I more or less created for myself! Also you know. I have PTSD and am quite literally haunted by visions and horrors. That type of stuff. I think Ghost can be quite a relatable archetype too though, with the idea of not being in control of one's life/the way one is perceived, the idea of a true self being diluted in the perception fo others, etc. Lots of things to vibe with.

Hope this made sense!! This one is a bit harder to explain than SPK because it's not built around certain values or anything it's literally just me thinking of a concept I like and running with it, but I hope my explanation + the poem I wrote first can give you more context!!

[littleblueberryartist]

INTRO POST

Oh my god I'm finally making one of these after 6 long years on this hellsite (affectionate)

Hi there I'm Aqua! I'm neurodivergent and no longer a minor, they/them pronouns. AroAce, ADHD, Asian, Art kid (aka AAAAAA)

I love talking to people feel free to drop me asks and tag me in shit!!!

I draw sometimes and hyperfixate a l o t

[Current hyperfixation: OCs, Genshin Fontaine siblings]

COMMISSIONS: OPEN

art tag: #aqua's doodles

writing tag: #aqua writes

ask tag: #aqua answers, #ask meh (for ask games)

oc tag: #Cor Silvam, #cor silvam vibes #aqua's ocs (who I never talk about XP)

talking tag: #aqua's ramblings (this is also where my hcs and speculations go!)

gaming tag: #aqua games

AU Stuff (most active to least)

Genshin Impact

Reversed Fates AU (Collab with @lanternlightss!): A timeline where the Nameless Bard and Lady Amos lived while the Red Haired Warrior and Knight Gunnhildr did not. Many brainrots (we talk a lot in the tags so check that out for bonus content!)

tags: #reversed fates au

Butterflies Drink Turtle Tears AU: A corrupted Istaroth AU where the abyssal corruption has led to her creating a neverending timeloop. This is not without consequence.

tags: #butterflies drink turtle tears au, #corrupted istaroth au

From the Winds we Come and To the Winds we will Go AU: Venti as the god of death and the thousand winds as their guides.

tags: #from the winds we come and to the winds we will go au

Where the North Wind Howls: In which Andrius accepted the Archon's seat instead of passing it off to Venti, and what that means for Mond.

tags: #anemo archon andrius, #where the north wind howls au

Submas

Glitch AU (Collab au with @raindropcroptop!): crack gone verrrrrry wrong! It went from crack to layers upon layers of content we have so many variations that we had to make a summary masterpost please ask about it <3

tags: #glitch!ingo au, #glitch!emmet au, #M&M au, #Together Again au, #All Together au, #info!ingo au, #info!emmet au, #rotomphone!ingo au, #glitch au (overarching tag for all the stuff related)

CSubmas AU: I took the funny train men and chucked them into my original story lol, they got cool ass wing coats now >:D

tags: #CSubmas au

Compass AU: Honestly I just wanted to make compass based designs inspired by their Chinese names lol. The plot stuff happened later.

tags: #Compass AU

The Owl House

Gatherer AU: A crack taken somewhat seriously swap au I made with @hunting-at-least-69-witches lol, masterpost

OKKO

Power Shift AU: Remember this old thing? No? Fair lol a lot of the development happened offscreen and I'm not that into OKKO these days. The au still holds a special place in my heart and the characters are still kicking even if I haven't touched the au itself!

tags: #power shift au, #inverse au (for that good ol' personality swap variant of the au I never talk about lol)

[lavandermin]

a darling little assistant | albedo

my dearest monsterfuckers and albedo enjoyers… if you’ll indulge me on some evilbedo brainrot ^^;

pairing | albedo/reader (or in this case his mimic)

word count | 1.4k

genre | one-sided, pining, nsft, assistant/alchemist trope

warnings | notsfw 18+, minors pls don’t interact, tentacles, clone mimic albedo (aka my version of evilbedo), experimentation, kind of manipulative Albedo I guess

Thinking about an au where evilbedo is an experiment Albedo himself has been working on— creation of life and re-creation of life, possibly even variations of the original. A twisted little Albedo, who delves into a little more morally ambiguous experiments like making clones. You knew he was working on that little project with plants, yes, and you would watch him with love-sick eyes as he worked tirelessly day-in and day-out. A darling little assistant that pined for the slightly unhinged alchemist.

And when he calls you to help him with some preliminary tests on a new test variation, you’re more than eager to help. Only when you walk into the elaborate facility and are guided down into some of the more specific chambers for rigorous testing do you begin to feel odd about the whole thing. Just a bit confused.

“This is my latest breakthrough,” the Chief Alchemist says as he remains solely focused on what’s beyond the protective chamber glass. “I hope this doesn’t alarm you.”

On the other side of the containment chamber stands… another Albedo— a mimic. A clone, you might even think. The mimic’s eyes are just a tad less lively, a little less mischievous and all the more unreadable. They slowly turn to look at you and make you swallow a lump in your throat. He’s just as beautiful as the one you love, stoic and charming with calm features. The star on his neck is a stark pale blue, icy like the frost on the mountains he frequents, unlike the golden one that adorns your Chief Alchemist’s neck.

“So,” you begin a little apprehensively, a warmth spreading throughout your face. “What did the tests need me for?”

Albedo hums, eyes trained on his clipboard he’s quickly jotting down notes on and a few final details. “I need to test this version’s nuances. This mimic’s version is a little more stable, and contains components of several flora I gathered to better stabilize its homeostatic functions. They closely resemble a human’s by now.”

You frown in confusion, to which he finally looks up with a chuckle. “Not to worry, this current variation has had fragments of my memories successfully reconstructed into it. It might not know you as well as I do, but has a basis of what sort of non-threatening relationship we share. He thinks of you as a friend if my deductions are correct.”

“A friend…” you mumble, placing a hand on the glass. The mimic steps forward and mirrors your action with an intrigued blink— experiencing a sort of dejavú due to the fractured memories he holds.

“Now, for a quick briefing. I’ll be gathering data for further modifications on his next routine checkup. The current areas are: sociability, mental wellness, physical, psychological— and so on and so forth.”

“Does this ‘Albedo’… speak?” you wonder aloud, turning to the alchemist for confirmation.

And much to your surprise he looks just as curious.

“I wonder if he does. So far no speech has come up, so I cannot say. It’s far less likely since most of his alchemic properties were taken from whopperflowers, the likes of which aren’t capable of speech that we know of.” His pen stops in its tracks, aqua eyes flickering over to his mirror replica. “But I wonder if he’ll surprise me. Let me know when you’re ready to begin the tests.”

With a steadying breath you nod. A willing little assistant, as usual. He is rather fond of you for this reason after all.

As soon as you step into the chamber, the doors are secured closed and this mimic of the alchemist you pine for steps closer to you. He holds his hand up silently, indicating you should do the same as you did through the glass. With rosy cheeks you catch on and place your smaller hand in his.

The mimic Albedo is silent, pondering. You turn back to gauge a reaction from the alchemist who’s hard at work writing notes on the other side of the chamber. With a reassuring nod he lets you know all is going well.

“I…” Your head snaps at the sound of the mimic’s voice, exactly like Albedo’s though a little distorted and dry from some dehydration. “I know… you.”

To your poor heart’s surprise, he steps closer and wraps his hands around you in what he confusedly deems a hug. You reciprocate with ease, heart a little erratic at this clone playing out the many soft gestures you wish your beloved Chief Alchemist would reciprocate. The clone can feel your heart’s quickening pulse against his chest.

The intercom speaker turns on briefly with Albedo’s voice. “If at any point you need the testing to end, the safe word is ‘Cecilia’.”

It’s not until you feel something cold and slimy against the skin of your neck do you realize why he would announce such a thing. From the mimic’s back protrudes several tentacle-like vine appendages, all curiously grazing your exposed skin. Albedo, mimic as he may be, curiously gauges your reactions and picks up on the heat that spreads across your trembling body.

“Do you… like this?” the mimic asks brokenly with a slight curve of his lips. His teal eyes intently watch your reactions as the tentacles begin to squirm their way under your clothes, rubbing soothingly where your whimpers grow loudest with.

“A-Ahn, yes but—“ You quickly look back in embarrassment at the real counterpart who is still furiously scribbling down page after page of notes. The alchemist is unbothered by the little moan that slips through your lips as a tentacle wanders against your clothed folds and sensitive clit. The mimic has picked up on how hot and bothered this is making you, and has taken a liking to the sounds you make.

And so there you are after 40 minutes since the test began, tentacles squirming their way into your holes and thrusting sloppily in and out of your clenching pussy. You’re a moaning mess muffled by the thick tentacle that’s lazily thrusting in and out of your mouth as the mimic holds your suspended body steady so one of his thick appendages can easily thrust in and out of your leaking cunt.

The vines wrapped around your arms, legs, and torso leave you spread open so vulnerably— so lewdly— in front of your colleague who doesn’t seem to pay it any mind. Your dearest alchemist is too absorbed in jotting down this twisted turn of events— the cryo regisvine components he included into the mimic’s creation have certainly proven more dominant and unpredictable.

The mimic Albedo watches in a lustful wonder as you beg for more, begging to cum again for the 5th time the past hour and squirming from oversensitivity as a few vines tug and pull gently on your nipples. He’s fascinated by your body’s capabilities, how you gasp cutely at another smaller vine gently working its way into your pussy alongside the other thick one currently thrusting into you like a fuck machine. And when he thrusts once more and stills inside you, there’s an apparent swell on your tummy— the small bulge of the rather sizable appendage that’s prodding your poor cervix beyond overstimulation.

The real alchemist isn’t even taking notes anymore, just watching idly from the other side with hands stuffed in his lab coat pockets. If you weren’t so stuffed with tentacles and in a horny daze as you were being fucked silly by a mirror image of your love interest, you might have felt a pang of pain at how he watches you get fucked with little more interest than someone watching paint dry. Were the shimmering tears running down your cheeks from overwhelming climaxes or mortification? You highly doubted Albedo cared if his results were what he wanted.

Whether the real counterpart was really getting off to this lewd scene playing out in front of him, you would never find out. But at least your own fantasies were being played out in some twistedly sad way. It’s as close to love as you would get from the Chief Alchemist you pined for so painfully.

He can only assume you were enjoying the testing, the safe word being unused the entire time.

Albedo jots down one more note on the end notes of his file.

‘Mimic subject deduced to be fond of warmth, sound, and the current variable in the testing chamber. Further testing needed. Schedule the followup session with assistant variable.’

[dinosaurtsukki]

dating the port mafia’s medic

a/n: basically headcanons of port mafia members dating one of the organization’s medics who happen to be you. i just thought this would be cute and i’m craving fluff. also these are,,, really long.

feat. akutagawa, chuuya, and odasaku

akutagawa ryuunosuke:

you were the doctor that mori specifically assigned to him to help with his lung condition

even though akutagawa was supposed to have regular, weekly sessions he’d only come in like,, twice a month and that was after you texted mori that he hasn’t been visiting you

akutagawa isn’t all too comfortable with the fact that he has to take off his shirt so that you could put him in an x-ray gown or when you need to listen to his breathing with a stethoscope

but you’re incredibly patient with him and also the pay is good so you persist

at one point during one of your sessions, akutagawa grumbles about having to come to the clinic when he just wants to live long enough to make dazai proud

and you’re like ‘is that so?’

“personally, i’d feel kind of sad if you had to die so early”

that kind of gets akutagawa thinking. he can tell by the way you said it that you had no ulterior motives behind it

akutagawa: but,,, i'm your most troublesome patient

you: oh my god you think you're troublesome ??

you start to rant abt all the patients you had to treat before who didn't believe in vaccines or got their elbows stuck in weird places

akutagawa finds your stories really entertaining so he ends up enjoying and willingly going to his sessions with you

after that first fight with atsushi, you ended up taking care of akutagawa and patching up his body 

literal days of you just being at his bedside, worrying and hoping that he'll wake up and then you suddenly realize that maybe you have feelings for him

when akutagawa regains consciousness, he finds that he doesn't entirely hate the situation he's in because he gets to see you more often

he likes listening to more of your stories while you sit at his bedside. eventually he opens up with stories of his own (most of them are abt his missions so yeah)

akutagawa begins visiting your clinic more and one day he comes in even though he doesn't have a session and then agonizes over why the heck he did that

good guy senpai chuuya is basically all 'idk are you in love or something?'

to akutagawa it's utterly unacceptable and he hides his feelings for so long until you're the one who decides to confess to him

and to your surprise, he hesitantly asks if maybe you two would like to be in a relationship

you two are awkward about it at first. akutagawa doesn't really know if drinking tea at your clinic could be considered a 'date' but he does like these moments

both of you have pretty hectic schedules since m your patients are also mafia members and you have to be on-call all the time but akutagawa is really understanding

he likes seeing you in casual clothes but he also thinks you look good in a labcoat (he probably borrowed it when you were not looking to try it on)

because akutagawa has grown quite accustomed to your touch and initiates holding hands with you (in private ofc)

he's still not used to the idea of you taking care of him not just as a doctor but as his s/o but it makes a nice change for once

chuuya nakahara:

the first time he met you was after a mission when he was taking one of his subordinates to the emergency room of the infirmary

you were the doctor on-duty that night and the first time chuuya laid his eyes on you he was like 'damn'

who knew the mafia doctors were this hot amirite

ofc you were also kind of starstruck to see mafia executive chuuya nakahara in the emergency room but you had a job to do and a man was losing blood

you: what's his type?

chuuya: uh,, h/c hair, beautiful eyes, labcoat...

you: i mean... his blood type

chuuya's got it bad. after that night he couldn't stop thinking about that cute medic aka you

but he didn't even know what your shifts were so he LOOKS FOR YOUR CASE FILE IN THE RECORDS

it's like he's gonna commit a murder or something but no he's looking for information on you

the guy’s pretty impressed when he looks at your resume and definitely sees why you were hired to be a doctor at the mafia but that only makes him want to see you more

but questions is, how does he make it look like he was just ‘passing by the infirmary’ and not that he’s actively looking for you

tsundere boy is tsundere

because chuuya almost NEVER gets injured in fights and he’s got a reputation for that and now does he get himself injured on purpose just to see you?

well, the opportunity presents itself in the form of him and dazai fighting cthulhu aka lovecraft but we all know its cthulhu 

chuuya wakes up on a hospital bed to you checking in on him and he almost falls off the bed in shock

but then after he gets his bearings he realizes what an IDEAL SITUATION THIS IS

although it’s kind of hard to flirt with someone when you’re in a hospital gown with an IV infusion stuck to his arm

nonetheless, he finally decides to ask you out after his last day of treatment and you’re shocked of course but agree

although your first date ends up being rain-checked because a patient comes in a new mission for chuuya comes up

actually almost all your dates get rain-checked until after a mission, chuuya decides to visit your clinic with a bouquet of flowers just when you get off your shift

chuuya: are... you free?

you: yeah. are... you free?

both of you are too tired for a fancy restaurant date so you two end up at a cozy bar to share a drink

chuuya loves listening to your stories and talking to you. he literally has his chin on his hands listening to how you made a makeshift tourniquet out of your labcoat while you were on the field

both of you are really busy people but chuuya likes to stop by your clinic once in a while

you always have fresh flowers on your table because chuuya brings them for you

sometimes he’ll come home to you already tired and passed out 

oda sakunosuke:

the first time he met you was after a particularly rough mission and you were luckily there at the emergency room to treat him 

this guy had a concussion and needed stitches asap but instead he was asking you to treat his companions first 

you quickly treated him and let him rest and of course the first thing he asks when he wakes up is how everyone else is doing

your intrigued of course because you’ve never met a mafia member who was like him 

the second time you met him, odasaku actually brought someone from the enemy faction along because he didn’t think that leaving him to die was the right choice

he didn’t know if you would treat them because you were loyal to the mafia but you also had your own moral code as a doctor to treat patients no matter who they were

odasaku stuck around the emergency room knowing that it was going to take you hours to treat the man and when you come out, you’re surprised to see him there with a cup of coffee

the two of you end up sitting in the hallway and talking about all sorts of things. you love listening to how odasaku stopped killing so that he can fulfill his dream of being a writer

he on the other hand loves hearing about how you went through the hell that was med school because you were dedicated to saving lives

maybe odasaku doesn’t mind getting injured so much because that means he gets to see you but also you can’t help but feel worried about him

one time, one of the odasaku’s adopted kids gets really sick and the first person he ends up calling is you because he has no idea what to do 

to his relief, you show up right at the curry restaurant and are very much ready to help

odasaku admires how good you are with kids. even though they just met you, they’ve already taken a liking to your calm, sweet presence

you even pull out your stethoscope and let them take turns listening to each other’s heartbeats

until a kid walks up to oda to check his heartbeat and is like ‘uh,,, your heart is beating really fast’

cue all the kids singing “ODA LOVES Y/N, ODA LOVES Y/N”

you look up at oda and he doesn’t look away and now you know

after that day, oda asks if you would like to maybe have a drink with him or visit a cafe and you say that you would love to

odasaku loves to drop by your clinic because he’s such a caring boyfriend and he knows how stressed you are from your work

he even comes by in the morning to bring you your coffee and he memorizes your order

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumu-brainrot​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi​

[becoming-human]

okay oc brainrot let's go off. this is knight/lady ocs. word v*mit from what ive been thinking about for the past couple days in the format of bullet points. usually i do this in the notes app but i have a candle going SO main character moment. what the fuck am i even saying. right codependent lesbians

okay. knight has been trained from a very young age to be the lady's personal bodyguard and helper. probably didn't have much in the way of family before this. certainly doesn't remember any and has no interest in learning--her "family" [aka the people she is willingly loyal to] is the royal family and the ppl in the castle. she has been groomed and doesn't really question her place.

lady has also been groomed in her own way re: knighthood. it's very important traditionally and she doesn't even attempt to imagine life without the knight/lady relationship because it would be ridiculous lmao. at age five you get your knight. at age five they take the pledge. it's literally just another facet of royal life.

thinking in an rpg setting the knight would be a paladin. their oath would be taken at age five, potentially in a religious setting [we'll get to why]. it is an incredibly rare and high honor to be a lady's knight.

thankfully the knight and the lady hit it off right away. they get along great. no hard feelings, no manipulation, no enemies to friends between the two. only important details:

the knight always puts her duty as a knight before her feelings for the lady, friendship or otherwise. She Is A Knight. her job is to serve and protect the lady. she knows that she can never be fully friends with the lady and thus makes sure a professional boundary is maintained (at least in her mind). it's not something she has to remind herself of, it just /is/. [EMPHASIS: this is not sad. the knight is not sad about this.]

the lady is privilidged and mostly unaware of the professional wall between the two of them. she knows the oath and she knows the rules, but as far as she is concerned the knight is her best friend and the feeling is reciprocated wholeheartedly. she doesn't realize that the power she holds over the knight doesn't just go away because they're friends. she also is used to using that power subconsciously--she knows both in her conscious mind and unconscious mind that the knight will always be there for her and do whatever she asks because the knight always has. she never uses it to do morally dubious or dehumanizing things (which in her mind makes the dynamic okay). she doesn't realize just how much the dynamic has affected the knight's personhood.

they ARE besties (to the best of their abilities). the knight follows and helps with all of the lady's silly little princess shenanigans and enjoys herself. many late-night castle sneakouts. as long as the knight is doing it to protect the princess (who she knows is stubborn and wouldn't take well to getting snitched on) she figures it's okay. the princess looks forward to all the time she spends with her best friend the knight. they're inseparable.

something something princess and knight leave the castle. don't know why. join a party. they're late teens early twenties at this point probably. 18-19? end up joining a party. princess wants to not be known as a princess but the knight still very obviously acts as her bodyguard first and foremost so everyone guesses pretty easily she's someone important

[this point forward will be mostly with the mindset of rpgs bc that is how my brain was wired at the time of thinking but can easily be translated to other mediums]

get into a couple skirmishes. the princess was never dainty--she was always ready and willing to kill a bitch if necessary. usually it was the knight holding her back instead of taking a bullet. now, without the castle and manners and consequences hanging over both of their heads, the princess comes into her own fighting-wise. the knight always moves to stand in front and protect her if she is in danger, and she used to always instinctively move back to be protected. that was how they were both trained. about five skirmishes into their new life, the knight notices that the princess moves forward instead of back now. this makes the knight nervous--just because they're no longer on monarchy land doesn't mean her oath to protect the princess is any less valid, and the princess's newfound fighting confidence will make her job a lot harder. (she is very proud though, on a personal level. it's just that she is not a person, she is a knight, and her duty comes first).

the knight doesn't directly mention this. she cares about her princess and doesn't want her princess to feel like she is not happy for her or proud of her. it's a difficult situation. she tries to handle it on the down-low, without direct communication. (great idea!) she starts compensating for the princess's new bravery in battle by rushing in early and taking heavy hits. if she can focus the enemy on herself they won't focus on her princess. makes sense. the princess has never really seemed to notice before so she probably won't now, right?

the princess definitely notices. she sees her best friend getting hit harder and acting more selflessly in battle to the point where it seems she has no regard for her own personal safety at all. finally, the princess calls her out on it. you know i can handle myself, right? you need to protect yourself before me.

my lady, i'm just fulfilling my duty.

we're not at the castle anymore. all of that is irrelevant now.

no, it's not? it's my entire being. my oath doesn't just go away because we're in a different location.

okay, fine. you're right. [odd for the princess, who is well known for being a stubborn pain in the ass] can you just be more careful, please?

......only if you be more careful, too.

this arrangement doesn't last for very long. as one can imagine. the princess is quickly realizing that the dynamic she has cultivated over the years is not a healthy one, and that the mindset the knight has been taught is both dangerous and incredibly unfair. she cares for her knight deeply and is incredibly upset that she didn't realize her hand in the grooming [whether intentional or not] sooner.

she tries to casually bring it up with her knight but every time is shot down by that Professional Wall (TM).

they get distracted with other things as per rpgs, but this is their dynamic for a large part. the knight is loyal to her oath and the princess is loyal to her knight's personhood. they go back and forth.

the rest of the party, meanwhile, has picked up on this back and forth tension. the knight, while originally hesitant to be vulnerable and break down the professional bodyguard wall, has since caved and accepted the rest of her party as her first true friends. there are certain members of the party whose opinions she trusts, and who she turns to if she needs help.

[side note: neither the princess nor the knight were cold or standoffish during their original meetings with the party. the princess was eager to make new friends and kick ass, and the knight was along for the ride as a friendly chaperone. the princess opened up first (probably within the first few weeks), but it for sure took a few months for the knight to break the friendly-in-a-distant-way facade. she had never really been given the opportunity to have friends besides the princess before]

the party is also on board with breaking the training/grooming. they're all hinting it. the knight stands strong (mostly she just pretends to be oblivious to their hints about her individuality and personhood), but it's starting to wear her down. she is, against her better judgement, starting to consider who she is. this is incredibly frightening, and, even worse, a distraction from her duty. if the knight becomes too preoccupied with questioning, she could lose her princess for good. she cannot have that--not after everything she's sacrificed, not after everything she's been through. the idea that giving up her personhood actually was not necessary is starting to weigh heavily on her mind. she tries to push it away. she acts even more overprotective in battle to compensate.

the princess, in turn, is trying her best to protect her knight in battle (who has lost any sense of self-preservation she had beyond "don't die", and even "don't die" is based solely around "who will protect her if i am not there"). you can see where this is going, i'm sure. she is protecting her knight, which in turn causes her knight to protect her, which causes her to protect her knight, etc. etc. they're creating an entirely different toxic cycle.

everything comes to a head--knight makes a decision in battle to protect the princess that would have killed her if the princess hadn't stepped in. the princess calls her out directly, saying that the knight has to learn how to love and respect herself and put herself first.

but it's my duty to--

i couldn't give two shits about your duty! you almost died! do you understand that? do you care?

when i agreed to this--when i swore my oath--i knew what i was signing up for. i thought you did too. does my promise mean nothing to you?

we were five years old! five! we had no idea what the real world was like.

that may be true, but does it really make a difference? i could have been five or thirty and done the oath and it would still be the same. my duty is to protect you. you are my life.

i shouldn't be! what about your life? what about your protection?

my protection is irrelevant. my life is yours. what's not clicking?

that's so fucked--

i gave you my body and my soul willingly. if you claim to care about it so deeply then why are you throwing it away?

throwing it away? seriously? after the shit you just pulled, i am the one that's throwing away your life? listen to yourself.

if i died in there, it would have been for a good reason. it would have mattered. my duty would have been fulfilled. this is how it's always been, i don't see why you're suddenly fighting it now--

because it's fucked! because you are a person too! how can you not see that?

listen to me. i am yours. i live for you, i die for you. i pledged myself to you in front of gods and men, and that will not change no matter how you feel about the subject. [....] please don't make this harder than it has to be.

[...] i can't.

can't what?

i can't--i can't do this. i can't watch you do this. i'm breaking the oath.

i--what?

you fucking heard me. i rescind it. you are no longer bound to me.

you can't....you can't do that.

yes, i can. i just fucking did.

no, i mean you literally cannot do that and have it mean anything. that's not how it works.

well then how does it wo--you know what. you're not going to tell me.

i would if you asked. it's my duty. falls under the "help in any way you can" category.

no. stop. i'll fucking--i'll figure it out myself. [...] go get yourself cleaned up. [...] that wasn't a fucking order, do what you want.

the rest of the party is just. popcorn staring. knight offers to take first watch as princess makes a tactful retreat into the tent.

princess doesn't have the first clue where to get info quickly. she tries messaging everyone she knows outside of the kingdom, but that's not a whole lot of people. eventually she gives up for the night, blows out her candle, and lies awake in the dark.

knight takes first watch. she sits and Thinks about everything the princess said. it's incredibly hard to think about. the ideas the princess presented are unheard of, unthinkable, ridiculous--and, most importantly, terrifying.

end of watch: Respected Member of Party offers to take over. knight asks if princess is okay. party member says she fell asleep (a lie, they're plotting), and then suggests quite simply, "you should talk to her". knight shuffles, says the situation is complicated and nuanced. party member says learning about yourself is frightening but it's easier with help. knight doesn't respond but internalizes it. goes to the tent she shares with the princess to start cleaning up and getting ready for bed.

Oh, No! This Injury Is In A Hard To Reach Place, If Only There Was Someone--

do you need help?

oh! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to wake you.

i was already awake. do you need help with that?

no, i--i got it, thank you though. go back to sleep.

i was already awake.

i've dealt with worse, i can do this by myself.

you don't have to.

[...] okay, sure. yeah.

cool. just--right here?

yeah.

all right.

[...] have you...done this before?

[very obviously no] bandaged a wound? oh, yeah, tons.

right, yeah. sure.

i've been so reckless lately, so in danger, so in need of saving i had to learn how to do it--

okay. okay, i get it. ow! i get it.

oh shit did i--

--no you're fine--

-sorry, sorry. sorry. [...] i'm sorry.

no, it's fine. it barely hurt.

not just for that.

oh. [...] it's all right. your anger is....[defeat] justified.

hmm. i still....i shouldn't have yelled. it's not your fault.

[......] you have to, um. you have to sterilize it before you--

--right, yes, i know that--

right, of course. sorry.

[....] i just...i get scared. you mean a lot to me. i wish you were more careful with yourself.

i....

[without any real malice] i swear to god, if you say the word "duty"--

no, i--heh. duty.

what?

duty. you said doody.

oh my god....

sorry.

oh my god, you are ridiculous. i'm trying to have a serious conversation with you an--

sorry, i, um. it was a silly joke. i'm tired.

no, it's funny. i laughed. [...] dooty. jesus.

[...] looks good. thank you.

of course. and, hey, if you need it again, you can come to me--clearly i need the practice.

no, actually, this is--this is pretty good.

really?

[no. she'll probably have to redo it] yeah. feels great.

oh. cool.

[...] i--can i see your hand for a moment?

...sure.

[the knight very carefully takes the princess's hand like it's something made of clouds. she cups it in her own, not making eye contact] i....what you said.....what you've been saying. i don't really....fuck, how do i say this.

it's okay.

i don't. hmmm. i have never, once, in my entire waking life, put myself before you. i don't know who i am without you. and i'm--i'm scared to find out, and i'm scared of losing you. if i'm distracted and something happens to you...[eye contact.] i'm okay with not knowing who i am. i need you to understand that. i'm okay with it. it's okay.

[...] it's not okay with me.

...okay.

sorry, but it's not.

i don't--. sorry. i don't know what to, um. hmm. i don't know what to do, where i would even start. i don't want to start. this is--this is going against everything. i need you to--

--it's okay--

no, listen. i need you to understand this. this is going against literally everything i live by. every fiber of my soul is telling me to stop. i cannot do this. i can't. i really can't. it's not right.

i'll help you. we'll do it together.

[...]i'm so scared. i've never been more scared in my life.

i'm sorry.

me too. i'm sorry for hurting you. i'm sorry for rushing in and causing you to worry. i'll...i'll be more careful. i will. i promise.

you promise?

well, apparently our promises mean next to nothing now? so i don't really know how much my promise is even worth to you, but...yes. i promise.

your word is worth everything to me. just as long as it's coming from you.

[...] it is. i think.

i'll take it.

and then they go to bed lollllll

the doody part is stupid i wrote it at like two am. anyway. p2

princess is trying to figure out ways to help knight come into her own, but she quickly realizes that whenever she is around the knight immediately bends to her no matter what. they're trying hard to do this together, but eventually they have another conversation and agree that one of them has to leave in order to break the codependency

the knight, seeing how much this hurts the princess (and how much she adores her new friends, the party) decides to be the one to leave. for once the princess doesn't argue--she knows that the knight does well under pressure and can hold her own, and believes (correctly) that a few months on her own will do the knight far more good than a few years trying to work through old mindsets and traumas with the princess. cue sad goodbye scene. they hug. it's soft, it's mutual. it's a genuine healthy "breakup". the knight says goodbye to the rest of the party and then heads off in the opposite direction, to the nearest town.

viewers/players don't see the knight for a while. few months, maybe even a year depending on the scale of the story? the knight sends updates and messages, and the princess replies to them all. she is never the first one to "text"--as a former [oppressor?] she believes that any communication should be on the knight's terms. (this was something they most likely mutually agreed on, in the sense that the princess suggested it and the knight, who was still very out of her depth, agreed out of trust)

idk how exactly they reunite. i'm thinking it's more accidental? like "oh shit is that knight over there???" or "omg we're in the same town want to meet up?" knight has had a Glowup (tm): she know has her own personal style separate from just basics/bare minimum, she's had a hair change, and she seems looser and more open. she is also acting differently--she's finally beginning to figure out who she is, and she's not hiding it as much.

the princess has also had her own Glowup (tm). she may appear stronger (depending on her weapon of choice), she's more engaged with her friends, and she can take "no" for an answer relatively easily. in short, they've both become a little bit of each other despite being separate for [insert long period of time here]. they balance each other.

their reunion is awkward. for sure. it's like meeting your old high school buddy after not speaking to them for two years. so much of your life was shared with this person but now they are a total stranger. they're also treading on eggshells--neither girl knows where their boundaries are or where they stand with the other. (also, wow, her glowup.........was she always this............no. it's weird to think that.)

regardless of how they reunite, they quickly end up sharing a battlefield. it's a chance for the audience/players to see how the knight has grown into her own. she is protecting herself and trusting that the princess can hold her own (and the princess absolutely is). they still work in tandem, but now that they trust each other completely they are an absolute force to be reckoned with.

there is one specific moment where the knight has to choose between keeping herself safe and putting herself in more danger for the princess. there is a clear opening to make one of her old selfless decisions. she debates with herself--old habits die hard--but chooses to stay put, knowing the consequences. the princess takes damage but stays standing, and ends up getting the final blow on the enemy.

everything is rainbows and sparkles! woohoo! everyone is safe and happy! growth happened! princess and knight, now just woman and woman, are super pumped--all barriers put up between them temporarily leave, and they triumphantly rush towards each other, proud of each other and the individuals they've become

and then the world falls out from beneath the knight, and the world rushes to meet her as her pulse drops. she gasps. the princess's proud smile quickly turns to a look of shock and horror as everything goes black

remember the religion from before? yeah

knight "wakes up" in Nothing. she does not know where she is, there are no features. one moment she is falling on the battlefield, the next she is Here. there is nothing.

there is something. oh, look, it's God.

specifically, it's the deity that the knight's oath was sworn under. it's the deity that all knights' oaths are sworn under. oh, fuck.

that awkward moment when even the gods themselves are like "hey you shouldn't be a person lol" dirty capitalist freaks

n e ways. the knight recognizes the deity (who is vaguely woman-like, but far more like a biblical angel than a woman. because biblical angels are cool as fuck and also terrifying, which is the vibe this deity should definitely give off. she is an eldritch horror first, human-being adjacent second. you get the vibe that her appearing vaguely human-like is a privilege and mercy)

her voice is everywhere and nowhere. it fills up the room. it is not loud, it is just There. YOU LET YOUR CHARGE FALL.

i--i had to protect myself.

YOUR OATH IS TO PROTECT HER, NOT YOURSELF.

she broke the oath! she said i was free!

THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS.

[...] i know.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PROTECTORS THAT BREAK THEIR OATHS. ARE YOU READY TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES?

[...]

ARE YOU READY TO FACE THE--

how does it work?

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

i was six. remind me.

THE BREAKING HAS TO BE MUTUAL AND HONEST. IF BOTH PARTIES BELIEVE WITH THEIR SOUL THAT A SEPARATION IS NECESSARY, THE BOND WILL BREAK.

i believe that the separation is necessary.

DO YOU?

yes.

ARE YOU WILLING TO BET YOUR LIFE ON IT?

yes.

ARE YOU WILLING TO BET HERS?

her life is not mine to throw away. her life is not my responsibility. her life is her own. [as she says this, slow motion flashes without sound of the real world: the princess yelling for help; the princess watching her party attempt to res the knight; the princess holding the knight's hand, her mouth saying something in slow motion that looks a lot like 'her life is her own' as the healing spells refuse to take effect]

HMMM. DISAPPOINTING.

[....]

YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE. ACCORDING TO YOU, SHE WILL BE FINE WITHOUT YOU. COME PEACEFULLY.

i am not choosing to live for her. i am choosing to live for myself. if she's there, that's just an added bonus. not a requirement.

[...] FINE. WE'LL SEE IF YOUR FAITH HAS ANY BASIS. I CANT SAY I DIDN'T TRY. DO YOU, [firstname lastname], RENOUNCE YOUR TITLES AND DUTIES AS KNIGHT TO PRINCESS [firstname lastname]?

i do. kindly fuck off.

flash of light, you know the drill.

cut to princess. knight has just collapsed. she tries to wake her up, calls over her friends, they're asking what happened, she says i don't know--wait. no. it couldn't be. i thought she--

what?

i thought we were on the same page, i thought--

what the fuck is going on?

when i renounced our oath the first time i was afraid of losing her. i did it again when she was gone, and i meant it. i thought that she meant it too, i thought she was thinking the same thing, but i guess--

--why does it matter?

because she let me take that hit. if she intentionally lets harm come to me, she gets punished equally. that was--that was a killing blow. on top of her other injuries, that was a--oh, my god.

so, what, she's dying?

yes? probably? oh my god. oh my god--

so, okay, hold on--so if she renounces it too, the...the spell, or bond or whatever is broken?

that's what my research said, yeah. [trying not to cry and failing]

well, she's been on this self-discovery trip, right? right. yeah. let's just keep pumping her with juice until she comes to her senses. she'll be fine, princess. [very clearly trying not to panic]

and they do. they pump her with healing spell after healing spell. nothing is taking. the princess, not a healer, takes the knight's hand. quietly, more to herself than any gods or deities that may be listening/she says:

her life is not mine to hold here. she is not my protector. her life is her own.

cut to the scene we've already seen. the knight says, "her life is her own" to the deity. the deity smirks in a horrific way.

there is silence. her pulse has disappeared.

horrible, horrible stillness.

a single shot: a red string snaps with an echo.

the knight gasps awake, coughing. the princess, who had already accepted the inevitable, stares at her in shock, still holding the knight's hand.

the knight gives her a bloody, drunk grin and says "i told god to fuck off. it was great." and then passes out in her arms.

the princess is still staring at the woman in her arms in shock. her friends are all staring at her. she doesn't notice. she is six seconds from a breakdown. a pause, and then, with the absolute audacity of someone who has reached their limit: "what the FUCK?"

blah blah. knight makes a full recovery. knight tells princess about her meeting with the deity, the princess insists it was a dream induced by the trauma of the event but recognizes the importance of it anyway. the party is super relieved to have the gang back together. the princess and knight now work mostly as equals. they still have their moments, but they now know how to communicate with each other, and they don't have the ridiculous oath hanging over their heads.

they are best friends first. they build up their healthy friendship for a couple years. the knight actually dates a few other people.

finally, after years and years of working on their relationships as equals, they finally enter a romantic relationship. it is very frightening for both of them--both are scared of falling into old habits--but they keep each other in check and live a long and happy life together as individuals and partners.

yay woohoo lesbianism! yay breaking out of religious cults! yay personal growth! yay powerful women!

i have more in my head but i'm literally sooooo tired rn but anyway i love them. that is all. this is cheesy sorry el oh el i just think that lesbians are cool