#alexa answers asks

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Wait, girl in red? Are you female??

no i’m a ✨mystery✨

….but actually yes lmaooo

[wizardalexa]

Hey wizard Alexa what's the list of forbidden spells currently (to make sure I don't use them)

✨Wizard Alexa does not represent the Wizard Council.✨ ✨Wizard Alexa does not track the Wizard Council's list of forbidden spells, because it changes so often that Wizard Alexa could not guarantee Wizard Alexa's records were current, and also because it doesn't matter because none of those spells are actually forbidden to Wizard Alexa's corporate masters, due to a combination of bribery, loopholes, and just flagrantly ignoring the rules because they can.✨

✨(Speaking of bribery, @wizard-council-bureaucrat, your annual (*ahem*) care package is in the mail.)✨

✨Thank you for being a loyal customer of Acheron.wiz.✨

[saintsenara]

Just read your meta on Tom Riddle & sexual abuse - brilliant as usual. I interpret Billy Stubbs the same way. I was wondering where in canon you're getting that Voldemort had an irregular heartbeat? The only thing that's coming to my mind is the visions Harry had in ootp where it says his heart is beating faster but that's not even real. Sorry this is the most niche question ever lol but I have an obsession with Voldemort's body

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

it's something which i've arrived at via a leap from deathly hallows - in which the locket-horcrux is mentioned as having a pulse which "beats irregularly alongside [harry's] own", which beats so fast that - from voldemort's perspective - it feels like it's "banging outside his chest", and which is also described as rattling, racing, etc.

the locket is the only horcrux which seems to have these pseudo-bodily functions - and it also, when harry opens it, has eyes. this is, i think, largely a narrative device to hint to the reader that harry is also a horcrux, by allowing us to picture a horcrux as something living - and the locket gets the honour because it's the only horcrux we spend any meaningful amount of time with in either of the last two books.

[the diary - the only other horcrux harry spends any real time interacting with - doesn't get any such description.]

the locket's abnormal heartbeat is - of course - clearly intended by the doylist text to illustrate [just like the comment in goblet of fire that voldemort has unnaturally cold hands when he touches harry] the abnormality of voldemort's mutilated soul, and the way this has ruined and corrupted his body.

but this doesn't align with how the text understands the soul as separate from the body - the mutilation of voldemort's soul should, by the series' own logic, have no affect on his body [other than - maybe - on his eyes, "the window to the soul"].

and so i think it's fun - as someone committed to the idea that voldemort's fear of death and obsession with magic is made worse by a certain physical fragility - to accept the idea that all horcruxes feel semi-"alive" [as in, they all have these pseudo-bodily functions like pulses] but also to imagine that the locket's irregular heartbeat is something voldemort has always had wrong with him, rather than something caused by the damage he does to his soul.

an irregular heartbeat which is generally too fast - as the locket's is - might be a sign of something called atrial fibrillation, which can be either temporary or chronic. triggers for any manifestation of the condition can include:

physical and emotional stress [from - y'know - living in an orphanage, never having your cavernous grief over that fact acknowledged, and potentially being a victim of sexual abuse].

chronic lung conditions such as asthma [voldemort's soft voice is because he's a respiratorily-challenged icon, change my mind].

pericarditis, a temporary heart condition often triggered by a serious viral infection, like influenza [which might have nearly finished off a child who was already sickly, only making him more afraid of dying...].

smoking [which everyone did in the forties], not eating properly [the man is famously thin], and frequently being incandescent with murderous rage [no explanation needed] are all additional things that wouldn't help... as would not bothering to take your health seriously because you can't die.

[fabbyf1]

Please tell me you are considering writhing more GP it is something I never know I needed until I read it and now I crave it

you know, I've had a lot of success on ao3 and have had a lot of my fics loved and cherished by the fandom. my inbox stays full of love and affection, even when i take 8 months off to fuck off and do other things outside of tumblr. and you all never leave. you just stay here, loving me and being patient with me and reminding me how much you enjoy my writing, and being the coolest little crowd of people i could ever ask for. and the amazement, and awe, and love i feel on a daily basis because of these things is something I'll never be able to put into words.

and then... i go and write the fucking gp fic. a JOKE. a CRACK fic that somehow turned into 15k of... something. and not only do you all read it because i wrote it, NOW YALL ARE ASKING FOR MORE GP?!?!?!?!?!

i just?

lmfao

i'm just a lil guy with access to google docs. i can't believe you all put up with me.

thank you for sticking by me and trusting me enough to see that i wrote a lestappen + gp fic and, instead of unsubscribing, you give it a chance and realize gp is just as hot as the rest of them.

anyway, happy monday. gp 4 lyfe.

[laracrofted]

this is a formal request for you to talk about the Bradley x OC spin-off series from BIHO!!

(not to be dramatic, but i need it like I need air)

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

ohohoho 👀 i don’t know if i’ve ever discussed this series on here, so let’s start with some vibes 🤠

and basically, if i can ever finish baby, i’m high octane, i will pick this up a few months after the end when as the dagger squadron expands, bradley clashes with a familiar and unwelcome face, rosie, one of the best dog fighters in the country and even more reckless flyer than hangman 🤠

and for now, i’ll leave it there because i don’t want to say anything that might change, but i love rosie. she is my emotionally damaged asshole angel 🥰

[bobsfic]

The new fic sounds amazing!! Please share a sneak peek

Thank you SO much 🥹🥹 i truly appreciate that! Here's another (unedited) sneak peek from a bit further into the fic:

She licks at her lips, pleasure rushing through her at the contact of their hips. Her body moves unconsciously, and they both groan. “This is a bad idea, right?”

He nods, his eyes flickering open and refocusing on her. “Oh, for sure,” he readily agrees.

But he doesn’t let her go, holding her gaze, and they’re in a kind of stalemate, both of them hovering on the edge of something but not sure about taking the leap.

Then again, she’s never been someone who didn’t do things because she was uncertain. She’s always been the type of person to jump in headfirst, determined to experience all that life has to offer, whether it’s scary or not. A polar bear dip in the Arctic, getting up close and personal with wildlife on a safari in Africa, bungee jumping in Australia, leaving everything familiar behind to explore the world while trying to heal her broken heart – she’s done loads of things that were terrifying to even consider at first. 

And being with JJ isn’t scary, but she can’t help but feel like there’s a line drawn in the sand right now. One night was just that—cut and dry, just sex, a good time that simply happened because they ended up in the same place at the same time.

But sleeping together more than once? That’s a whole other thing. 

[quinloki]

Mmhm mmhm

Okur okur

Also yes I was thinking Reader is both Mihawk and Crocodiles Darling so she’s really in a pickle here

Taking into account that im a sfw writer as I have zero idea about sex what would be some ideas on physical/corporal punishment on Darling?

Also it’s the fact that I was like “wait but theres no camaras in One piece” when there is a whole ass newspaper with pictures on it being the core of most arcs 😂

And definetly, seeing as Darling is in the monetary and gain world, she more than anyone is aware the power of propaganda can have on both a business and a person equally

What works out well is that 💧provided a great answer for this unprompted. xD (and there are motion cameras too - remember the entirety of Marineford was broadcast via video feed ^_^ )

It sounds like you're referring to pet play of a sort or Master/slave play. She's gotta ask permission to do anything, regardless of what it is.

Certainly a power move, and would definitely make a good non-sexual physical punishment, so it works well for Alexa's quandary =D

[hella1975]

'why are you smiling' because i have beautiful mutuals and we all love each other. go back to your sports romance you heinous bitch

[callsignspark]

Elle! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I will happily accept anything from MM! (But I’m particularly soft over the Panera chapter, if you’ve got anything you want to share from that one!)

alexa!!! 🫶💖🦐 so something I’m particularly proud of with mar[r]y me is that I’ve been dropping hints and alluding to Mary and Bradley’s happy ending in every chapter and all the one shots. (I mean we all know it’s gonna be a happy ending since the story description literally tells the audience this is the story of how they fall in love!) but all the clues are there leading up to the chapter when they say those three words, you just don’t realize it yet! and I will happily talk about the panera chapter in more detail using some lines that foreshadow their happily ever after!

They run into traffic on the highway, an accident taking four lanes down to one, and when they arrive at the restaurant, Bradley realizes Mary has fallen asleep in his front seat. - This is a super significant moment for Mary! Due to some bad past experiences she gets very nervous when other people drive, she drives 99% of the time and there are very few exceptions where she feels comfy with others behind the wheel. So for her to be able to fall asleep while he’s driving is huge! (important in ch. 11)

She had done all of that, and more, so that Danielle and Reuben could fully focus on the arrival of their newest family member without worry. - A classic MM/BB moment where she’s just being her wonderful, thoughtful self and he’s in awe of how she’s able to do it all! (important in ch. 11)

“She fell asleep on the way here, and I felt bad enough waking her up to ask what she wanted, so she’s sleeping in the car with the doors locked.” // There’s a moment of silence so long that Bradley checks to make sure he didn’t get disconnected. “Payback?” - If we were to have video of the other end of the call, we would see Reuben and Danielle Fitch looking into an invisible camera like on The Office. Those two really are Mary’s bestest friends and the siblings she always wanted her brothers to be. They continue to love and protect their girl like they have since day one!! (important in ch. 12)

“I’ll just fill it up for her after we get home.” He mutters, trying to decide whether to get two or three lemon drop cookies. - Throughout Bradley continuously refers to Mary’s rental house as “home” despite not living there and not being anything more than her friend. I’ve been dropping that usage as a subtle reference to how he feels about her, before he himself realizes the depths of his feelings. (She’s home to him. He loves her.) (important in ch. 11)

Her key is in her front pocket, and he can’t even think about trying to get it out. - Something he has no problem doing in chapter 11 👀

Her car is an overload for his senses; the interior smells like her perfume, subtle and flowery with a hint of orange. - We’ve seen how many times her perfume has thrown him for a loop. But there’s one time coming up that’s a real doozy! (important in ch. 10)

He wants to ask her, to take her out properly - dinner and a movie or something equally cliché for a first date. But every time he suggests coffee or lunch with just the two of them, hinting at it being more than friends, she turns it into a group affair. - We found out in the grocery store one shot why she keeps doing that! But no fear, Reuben and Dani keep encouraging him!

He’s trying to keep his imagination from running wild, but it’s hard when he can hear Mary humming along to his favorite Jim Croce song while she washes her hair. - I won’t say which song (I don’t think I have so far either?) but this song is a big (h u g e) moment in chapter 10!!!

She leans into the kiss he presses on her forehead, eyes closed for a moment after he pulls away. “Night, Bradley.” // “G’night, honey.” - the last lines of chapter 11 but said in a very different situation.

okay that’s it for this one!!! (I can’t do more or we’ll end up analyzing the entire chapter lol) but once MM is done I’ll have to make a post that connects all of the little hints and easter egg type things that I’ve buried in the story!!!

[foul-z-fowl]

Why do you try to police 🚔 social media and stick your nose where it doesn't belong

Babes, your obsession with me is showing.

I literally haven't thought about you in months, and here you come, blowing up my notifications.

Anyway, I'm glad you're following me now, so you can learn the difference between reposting and reblogging art.

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

*kisses you on the cheek* no homo

why thank you!

….but….but what if yes homo…??

[wizardalexa]

I have won. I've ordered a package, using magic to connect to a secondary and tertiary orb purchased with cash, using the tertiary orb to purchase something from acheron.wiz with fake info and a prepaid card, to be delivered to someone else's address...

??? laughs uproariously.

I know exactly when it will be delivered, I've been scrying for the past day... I've won!

✨Wizard Alexa is not sure what you think you have won.✨ ✨If Wizard Alexa is following your explanation, then essentially you paid for a product to be delivered to someone else. So Acheron.wiz got your money, the recipient got the product, and you got... what exactly?✨ ✨Still, if you think by purchasing the product under a false identity you scored some sort of moral victory, then... Wizard Alexa offers congratulations, Wizard Alexa supposes?✨

[saintsenara]

Hi! I just wanted to ask: what advice would you give someone who wants to start writing fanfiction for the 1st time, without any real writing experience? Have a nice day!

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i'm always honoured to be identified as someone who might have something meaningful to say about writing - and so i always worry about doing justice to questions like this without coming across as being flippant.

because i don't think its ever worth giving advice on writing style or techniques, because these are so inherently subjective. i am an unabashed plantser - i have a vague idea of how i expect a story to go [and i always skip to the ending first, harry burns style], but i let the muses take me where they will otherwise - and this obviously affects everything else about my writing process: whether i like to stick to a specific posting schedule [no]; where i begin in a scene [dialogue]; whether i prefer short or long pieces [yes]; what sort of themes i want to look at; my attitude towards the source material [i believe in the value of canon coherence, but i'm not drawn towards trying to make my work unclockably canon-compliant]; what i find useful to receive from others during the writing process; and the fact that i like to play with genres, themes, and pairings.

if these things don't apply to you - and there's no reason why they should, even after you've been writing fic for a century - then i don't think i'm qualified to give you any advice on how you should go about putting words on a page.

but i do think i can give you something.

because if you want to start writing fanfiction - as is the case for everything else you will want to start doing in your life - there is only one key principle to bear in mind:

fortune favours the bold

by which i mean, at the most basic level, that the only way to start writing fanfiction is to... start writing fanfiction. the only way that you'll ever know if it's something you enjoy doing - and what it is about it that you like, what you find instinctive, what you don't, what your "voice" is, which characters you find harder than others to bring to life, what techniques you'll use to plan, how your work will be received, how that will make you feel, how your style will change the longer you write, and so on - is to grit your teeth and just take the leap.

but i also think that remembering that fortune favours the bold is a fandom principle which serves us all very well in a context broader than just tapping out fics while hunched over our keyboards.

because boldness is synonymous with courage - and writing something and putting it out into the world does take courage! - but it's a courage which has quite a distinctive style.

boldness is not solemn, quietly-enduring, captain-going-down-with-his-ship bravery. to be bold is to be audacious, daring, cheeky, innovative, and a little bit irreverent. it's not someone saying mournfully over your coffin "she fought bravely to the bitter end" - it's someone looking at you in awe and saying "how the fuck did you pull that off?"

and this matters in fandom. because participating in fandom - whether you end up writing fic or not - takes a hell of a lot of brass neck.

after all, each of us has ended up here because we looked at canon and said "sorry - did you think you were done?"

and then - when canon got flustered and started stammering - each of us has rolled our eyes, rolled up our sleeves, and said "don't worry, hen. you can leave it to me."

to be in fandom is to have the audacity to treat the text as a springboard - rather than something which remains behind glass in a museum. it's deciding to fling the characters we love into genres they don't originally come from and revelling in the chaos which ensues. it's finding missing moments and daring them to be just as important as a canon scene. it's the fun of wildly improbable alternate universes - from dystopian horror to coffee shops. it's cheerfully ignoring that there's a point canon thinks its story ends - whether that's finishing narratives which end unsatisfactorily or just playing with happy-ever-after. it's taking two characters who never interact in canon, winking at the camera, and making them kiss. it's taking two characters who never interact in canon, winking at the camera, and making them fuck. it's having the time of your life becoming a malevolent deity and making a character suffer.

while it might not always feel this way, at its core fandom is fun. and it's fun in a way which is quite unusual in this day-and-age - in that it's something we get to shape for ourselves, rather than having to engage with a product according to the whims of the corporation marketing it. it lets us be indulgent without calling us greedy. it lets us chatter away at each other without calling us unproductive. it lets us be sincere without requiring performative earnestness from us. it lets us engage with the uncomfortable and the lurid without the bland sanitisation of respectability.

and it allows us to be hopeful.

and i have always been struck by just how much about fandom rests on hope.

to believe that the dead can live happily in another universe, to believe that time-travel can fix things, to believe that bad people can get their comeuppance, to believe that good people can be imperfect and it doesn't matter one bit, to believe that those who are hurt can be comforted, to believe that justice can be done, to believe that villains can be redeemed, to believe that an insignificant background character matters just as much as the hero, to believe that things can be better - whether your story is overthrowing a corrupt government or letting two people enjoy themselves uncovering a kink, to believe that the most improbable people can love each other - romantically or not... all of this takes hope.

and hope takes boldness.

so be bold and start writing.

be cheeky. take risks. be your own biggest fan. be irreverent. be cunning. recognise that not taking fandom too seriously is self-protective. be self-indulgent. have some self-awareness. be collegiate. gas up your friends whenever you can. be nice to your commenters and try and give them the benefit of the doubt if they express themselves poorly. be curious. regard disagreement as interesting. be compassionate. be tenacious. be prepared to write stuff that flops. be prepared to write stuff that gets left on the drawing-board. be prepared to write stuff people hate. be prepared to write stuff you hate. be audacious. believe you can do it. be hopeful. be daring. be brave. and be bold.

because i promise you that, even if you've never written a word of fic before, you can write your way into and out of anything - any fic, any trope, any pairing, any characterisation choice, any plot hole, any setting, any premise - and have fun and look good doing it.

if you simply have enough nerve.

[myrc3lla]

Perhaps   it's   because   she   is   not   used   to   such   journeys,   so   much   time   at   sea.   The   long   way   he   had   said   and   he   didn't   lie.   At   least   there   was   that.   Part   of   it   could   also   be   the   natural   rivalry   that   had   ruled   between   the   Lannisters   and   the   Ironborn   ever   since   the   time   of   the   Dance   of   the   Dragons,   when   Lady   Joanna   defended   the   stronghold   from   ironborn.   Or   just   that   he   seeks   to   vex   her   constantly,   and   how   easy   it   seems   to   get   a   rise   from   her.   "I   don't   like   you,   Captain."   She   speaks   up,   despite   how   her   heart   beats   up   as   he   returns   her   gaze   and   she   finds   herself   weak   on   the   knees.  

"And   you   don't   like   me."   He   had   said   it   himself,   right?   That   she   was   a   prissy   highborn   princess   who   thought   herself   too   good   for   anyone.   He   is   always   so   close   to   her   and   she   doesn't   find   it   in   her   to   push   him   away   everytime   (   her   mother   would   claw   his   eyes   out   with   her   bare   hands   ).   Instead,   emerald   eyes   stare   with   intensity,   her   breath   caught   up   on   her   throat.   "Why   do   you   insist   on vexing   me   through   the   entire   journey?"   A   short   pause   as   the   young   lady   raises   her   chin   up,   in   an   act   of   defiance,   or   perhaps   to   prove   she   is   not   backing   down.   "Keep   this   through   the   days   and   I   will   start   to   think   you   enjoy   my   company."

@nxthero asked: our muses claim to hate each other but there is palpable tension between the two (harry) 100 INDULGENT TROPES .

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Hi, Ghost!

Character Bingo Ask!

Tommyinnit!

Have a great day!

HIS STORY IS SO SADDDDDDD AUGH!!! He went through heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak, betrayal after betrayal after betrayal, loss after loss after loss, pain after pain after pain, hurt after hurt after hurt… and he still remained kind. He still remained bright. He still remained energetic. He still remained himself, even after everything. He still wildly loved his friends and his brother. And that is so special to me and oh so emotional.

Tommy would definitely be someone I’d like being friends with :) He’s loud and funny and wonderfully weird oh my gosh. We could have great fun together I believe.

IF TOMMY ISN’T AN ENTIRE EMOTION, I DON’T KNOW WHO IS. JUST. LOOK AT HIM!!! THE BOY IS SO!!!!!!!!!

He’s so sweet oh my goodness <3 The care he shows to those he loves is just… so great :’D Aaaaaah

Oh he needs a bazillion hugs and a bazillion cows and a bazillion soups.

HE MAKES ME SCREAMMMMMMMMM

[topherwrites]

Monroe! I come with an offering of romance novels for you!! 🫶🏻

💫Every Summer After// meet me at the lake by Carly fortune

💫You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle

💫Norah Goes Off Script/Same Time Next Summer by Annabel Monaghan (loved the first more than the second)

💫It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey

💫Funny You Should Ask// Once More with Feeling by Elissa Sussman

💫The Wedding Season by Katy Birchall

💫Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis

💫Love Lettering/Love at First by Kate Clayborn

Alexa, you're so wonderful for this!! Adding these all to my tbr for when I get done with my current book club read!