#all because my phone sucks ass and takes like 4 pictures over 10 seconds and combines them into ass and this was the only way to stop it :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reidsconverse · 3 years

Text

memories • spencer reid

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: none! just 4000 words of pure angst

This was an old fic reworked to be about around spencer so its taking a lottt of creative/artistic liberty with the character, so it kinda sucks im sorry! 😁

Every moment you had with him was one to be remembered and cherished for better or worse.

It had been a few weeks since Spencer had officially ended things, he had moved all of his stuff out of your apartment and now it seemed as if he had never even existed in the same place as you, as though you two were strangers. That is had it not been for the images of memories the two of you held. So, here you were sat alone in your room, your only company the half-empty bottle of wine and photographs of the two of you which sat strewn carelessly across your floor.

You picked up a picture and stared at it realising you both looked so happy. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, a cup in his hand and his signature grin sitting across his face. Your head was leaning against his shoulder, the smile on your face reminding you of how free you had felt that night, you had never felt happier and you recognised that night as the night you realised...you were so in love.

"We should have a party," Spencer yelled despite there being no one else other than the two of you in the room.

"Right now?" You looked at him as if he was insane, not only was it completely out of character for your boyfriend but also, it was 1 am on a Wednesday and although your friends weren't those with a regular schedule you presumed most of them would decline a house party in the middle of the week.

"Yeah right now, c'mon doll I'll call Derek and some of the others and you call your friends." His hand was already on his phone texting Derek before you could protest so you followed his instructions and went ahead and invited your friends before getting up and preparing for this impromptu party.

It had only been 10 minutes when you heard Derek and some others open the door shouting for Spencer and you walked over with a grin on your face, "Hey D, Spencers being a diva and redoing his hair, he'll be right down." You said, rolling your eyes as Derek pulled you into a hug, he may have been Spencer's best friend but he thought of you as a sister and always treated you as such.

"Well I have look good for my girl," You heard Spencer say from behind you quickly placing a kiss on your cheek before doing his weird handshake with Derek, "Hey, thanks for coming'."

The three of you made your way to the kitchen to grab some drinks and greet some more guests who had congregated in that area and before you knew it, you were 4 shots in, feeling way past tipsy and in the mood to dance.

"Hey Spence," You said walking over to where he was now sat, a cup in his hand as he held a conversation with JJ and Emily about something that you didn't care too much about. You waved a quick hello to the girls so as not to be rude and then placed your head on his shoulder to let him know of your presence.

"Hey darling, you feeling good?" He turned his face and flashed you a wide grin before wrapping an arm around you to pull you close to him. He enjoyed being near you whenever he could, when he was away he would long for the days where all he did was sit and hold you close to him regardless of what the two of you were doing, so now whenever he had the chance he would hold you close.

"Feelin' great Spence.. wanna dance with you..." You said pulling out of his hold and grabbing his hand leading him onto the 'dance floor', which was just the open space in your living room. He laughed and quickly finished his drink, discarding the cup somewhere in the room and held you as you both danced to the music playing through the speakers.

After a couple of songs, you both made your way to get another drink and get a break from the crowd, you sat at the kitchen island and passed him a drink."You know, considering you're a genius, I would've thought you'd be able to coordinate a bit better." You said teasing him about his choice of moves which had essentially been him waving his arms in the air attempting to be in tune with the music.

He looked at you in fake shock and scoffed, "Yeah well it was still better than whatever you were trying to do." Referring to your horrendous attempt at trying to be sexy which in truth was never going to be anything but embarrassing. You stuck your tongue out in a childish manner causing him to laugh and quickly move to place his lips against yours giving you a soft kiss.

You jumped down from the counter after pulling back as a couple of your friends walked in and struck up a conversation about nothing interesting yet you made the effort to look engaged as Spencers's arm slipped over your shoulders and you placed your head against his shoulder.

"Hey guys, look here." You both turned to see your friend Harry, as always with a polaroid camera in his hand. You and Spencer gave each other a quick smile before grinning wide for the camera, both your faces full of love and happiness.

You sat there thinking about how quickly things can change, the people in the image you held so young and naive to the struggles the future would hold. Taking another sip of your wine you skimmed through some more pictures before stopping at one that held a bittersweet meaning. A picture that was taken a few days after what had been your worst fight, you both looked happy but all you could think about the events leading up to the image being taken.

It was your and Spencers 5th anniversary and he had promised he would make it to dinner. You hadn't seen each other in weeks because he was away on a case but he had promised he wouldn't miss this day, he had asked for permission from Hotch to leave for a couple of days so he would be there. "No excuses, No ifs and buts...I'll be there babe. I promise."

But there you were, alone at a table for two. The look on the waiters face held nothing but pity as he walked over for the fourth time to ask if someone would be joining you. Finally, you gave up and shook your head to let him know you would be leaving and would like the cheque. You had never felt so humiliated walking out of the restaurant head held high but tears building up in your eyes and so you cried. You felt so broken, almost as broken as all those promises Spencer had made you. The word promise and sorry had lost all meaning in the last 5 years, simply a courtesy rather than meaningful.

The minute you got home your phone began ringing, it was Spencer.

"Hey doll, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, the team wanted to go out last night and I kind of missed my -." He began to explain causing you to scoff, 'no ifs or buts' my ass.

"How could you?" Your voice cracking as you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill for the second time that night. "I waited for 2 fucking hours Spencer, I felt like a fucking idiot."

"What? What are you talking about?" His voice was full of confusion. "Didn't you get my text?"

"No, I fucking didn't. I didn't get a fucking text. But that's not the fucking point, You should've been here, you promised you would be here."

"Babe, I'm so -," He began but you knew what he was gonna say. The only conversations you seemed to have were stuck on a loop like a broken record.

"Save it. Don't say you're sorry when you don't mean it, stop saying sorry and show it instead."

"Look, I'll get on the first flight out. I'll see you in a few hours, I'll make it up to you I prom-." You hung up the phone before he could continue, his promise worth nothing to you anymore. Walking over to the couch, you fell asleep the minute your head rested against one of the many cushions populating the seat.

You woke up to keys jingling in the door, yet you made no effort to move from where you were. The sound of his footsteps got louder as he approached.

"Babe? I know you're up." He said, kneeling beside you making you sigh and sit up. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I fucked up."

You just stared at him, it might have been petty but you didn't want to give in to his apologies just yet, he had to understand just how much he had hurt you first.

"I couldn't care less anymore, Spencer. I just need to remember that I'll always come second to work and that's fine, it's important to you and I understand that." You got up and walked over to the kitchen to gather yourself.

"Babe you are the most important thing to me, I'm sorry-."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Here we go again, Spencer there's only so many times you can say you're sorry before it loses all meaning. I'm sick and tired of this, I don't know if I can do this anymore. You're never here, you make promises you can never keep and I'm pretty sure you've told me you're sorry more times than you've told me you love me."

"Please don't do this. I love you." His voice was shaking, breaking down at the thought of you leaving him. He moved over to you and turned you so you were facing him. "I know this means nothing to you but I am so sorry. I've been so shitty to you and I know it."

"Spencer, I deserve better than this and I'm sick of forgiving you and acting like I'm fine with how you treat me, you might not mean it but it fucking hurts. I love you so much and I know you love me but would it kill you to put me first for once in your fucking life."

This annoyed him, the lack of sleep and being overworked leaving him less patient and more irritable, "That's not fucking fair, you knew what you were signing up for when you started dating me, I'm doing my fucking best. I go to work for US, to support US. If I could devote all of my time to you if I could, but I can't and it fucking kills me. You can't understand how much I miss you when I'm not here."

Tears welled in your eyes seeing him breakdown, unable to keep up the unbothered facade you had on, "I just...Spence, I miss you too. It hurts not being able to be near you and so when you're not there when you promise you will be, it hurts it really fucking hurts not to mention it's terrifying, how am I supposed to know you're ok if you do shit like that."

He pulled you into his arms as you sobbed into his chest, all the emotions you'd kept bottled up during the argument letting go. "I know baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I promise, and I mean it this time, I won't let you down again. I love you." He mumbled into your hair, slowly kissing your forehead whilst consoling you and holding you like he never wanted to let go.

The two of you went to bed that night in silence, not a word was spoken until the next day wherein Spencer switched off his phone and dedicated the whole weekend to you and only you. He kept his word once he had to leave, always fulfiling his promises, never pushing you to the side and communicating with you always. The two of you felt strong again, you were happy.

You put your glass down and walked out of your room and began pacing around the living room, pictures of you and him still up on your walls, the walls that no longer belonged to the both of you. You thought back to when he asked you to move him, how nervous he was and how excited you were.

It was movie night at Spencers house. Each week he invited everyone over to watch a film, everyone taking it in turns to select a film. This week Emily had chosen Midsommar, a film you were yet to see so you were excited. You were sat beside Spencer on the loveseat, his arm around you and your face resting against his chest, a blanket covering you both for extra comfort. You looked up and saw Derek and Penelope lay spread across the floor whilst JJ and Emily sat on the sofa. Bowls of popcorn and sweets were scattered around the room and beer bottles were piling up. It was nights like this that you wanted to treasure forever, for the first time you felt like you had a family, people to call your own, people you could trust.

"Watcha thinking about?" Spencer asked, glancing at you and realising your mind wasn't directed at the movie anymore.

"Nothing, just really lucky to have you in my life," You reached your hand up to hold his face and gave him a soft kiss. "I love you."

He pulled you in closer if that was even possible, "I love you too."

"Ugh, get a room." Derek groaned making you both chuckle.

Spencer responded by throwing some popcorn at him, "Aw is someone jealous, don't worry you'll find someone soon enough."

Derek murmured a quiet, "Fuck off" before turning his attention back to the movie, making everyone laugh.

The movie ended shortly and everyone was discussing what to watch next, you were in the mood for a comedy but Derek wanted to watch Die Hard for the millionth time. After several minutes of slight arguing, you finally decided on rewatching Moana for the 12th time.

Everyone was pretty much settled, drinks refilled, popcorn replenished and everyone back in their positions. Emily was about to press play before JJ stopped her, "Wait before you start I'm kinda cold can I borrow a sweater?" She asked Spencer.

"Yeah sure, take one from our room." He said casually like it was normal but it made your breath hitch in your throat, did he just say our room? As in, yours and his. Unofficially he wasn't wrong, it was your room as much as his, you spent pretty much every night here making having your own apartment redundant, but he hadn't yet asked you to move in with him. You couldn't help the small blush on your face and the way your lips turned upwards at his words. It made you happy knowing he thought of it as something for both of you.

"What has you so happy?" Penelope asked in a teasing tone, she'd picked up on Spencer words and knew exactly why you were smiling.

You just stuck your tongue out at her and looked up at Spencer, "Our room huh?" You asked making him smile.

"Yeah I mean, you're here every day, maybe more than I am. You should just move in at this point." He let out a little laugh after he said leaving you confused as to whether he was being serious, so you just laughed along and waited for JJ to come back so you could start the movie.

A couple of hours later almost everyone was half asleep, everyone apart from you and Spencer. You began making your way to his room followed by him carrying the blanket he had taken from his bed. The two of you went about your night routine, Spencer had insisted on keeping at least half of your things at his place hence why you never had to leave. You quickly changed into one of his shirts which fit you just right and climbed into bed where he was already sitting, reading a book.

"Spence, were you being serious...earlier when you said I should move in?" You asked him, making him put down his book and look at you.

"Would you like that? You don't have to say yes but I would love it if you moved in. The mornings when I wake up and you're still next to me, are the best mornings. Honestly, knowing I'm going to wake up next to you makes falling asleep easier. Plus Tesla and Edison love you, maybe even more than they loves me." He asked, the mention of his fish making you laugh despite the fact your eyes were welling up, what had you done to deserve the sweetest man to walk the earth.

You shifted yourself so you were straddling him and held his face in your hands, "I would love to move in with you." You answered placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you so much," He said as you moved back to laying down next him. "You make me the happiest man alive and I'm so lucky to have you."

"God, Spence you gotta stop before I start crying, I love you too." You said, as he laughed and pulled you into a comfortable sleeping position.

"Goodnight love." He mumbled, already falling asleep.

"Goodnight Spence." You responded, closing your eyes and beginning to drift off but not before saying, "By the way, the fishies definitely love me more."

You hadn't realised you were crying until a tear fell onto the frame you were holding. The image just as blurred as the memories it held. You carefully placed the image face down onto the table rather than placing it back up. Making your way to the sofa, you got your phone out and glanced at the image that had left you in this state. A picture of him and her, his hands holding hers as tight as they once held yours, the grin on both of their faces wide. He was happy, only it wasn't because of you anymore. You closed your eyes again, remembering how it all ended.

He had been distant since he had come back from this last case, he had been away for almost two months trying to catch this unsub and you had thought he'd be more excited to come back to you and finally be home. But he hadn't spent more than 10 minutes with you, the only time the two of you were in the same room for longer than that was when you fell asleep. Recently that had also stopped, he spent more nights away from home and at clubs with Derek and Emily , only coming back once he knew you weren't there. It was killing you but every time you questioned it he shrugged you off, telling you he loved you.

You wanted to scream at him if he loved you why isn't he showing it, why does he refuse to acknowledge you. You knew he was lying to you, he didn't love you anymore, you could see it in his eyes, how he never looked at you as he used to, he never held you like he used to. It was killing you and you knew you should ask him but you also knew that would lead to conversation you didn't want to have, an ending you didn't want to happen. So you kept quiet, went about your day and didn't question his actions, you had decided you would rather have the worst of him than not have him at all.

But that didn't last long. A few weeks later something happened, something you could ignore. Spencer had barely been home, only coming back to grab new clothes and leaving again often returning at 4 am or not all. The nights you spent alone, his side of the bed going cold broke your heart bit by bit. But you weren't ready for it to completely shatter, the images Penelope sent you of him holding that girl, a little too close, a little too tight, a little too much, start to fill your screen causing a lump in your throat and tears threatening to spill. You walked to the kitchen, surprised to see him there, he was sat at the counter head in his hands and a coffee in front of him.

"Spencer, what fuck is going on?" You all but shouted.

"Shh, my heads killing me." He said, burying his head in his hands attempting to block you out.

"You fucking asshole." You screamed at him, the pain and hurt evident in your broken voice as you tried your best not to cry.

This made him look up, far quicker than he should've causing his head to fill with pain and throb, but he didn't care, the memories of last night were coming back he knew he had fucked up. "I-I'm sorry, I was drunk and she was just there, nothing happened.

"You're sorry? Are you fucking kidding me?" You said, moving away from him as he got up to come closer to you. "No, don't fucking touch me. I'm done."

"What? No look I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I love you." The words were said, but the tone held so much uncertainty you couldn't tell if he was trying to convince you or himself.

"No you don't Spencer, not anymore. I know you don't and I've been lying to myself, saying that I'm ok with it when I'm not. I love you so much but I can't keep hurting myself by pretending like we're fine, We're not fine, we haven't been for a long time. Yes that fucking hurts, I thought we were forever, I thought we were going to grow old together and have kids and show them that we were soulmates. I thought we were perfect but we aren't."

"I never wanted to hurt you, I love you so much but-" He started with a sigh.

"You're not in love with me anymore..." You finished for him

"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different, I wish I could control how I felt. You were everything to me, I really did picture a future for us but things changed, I don't know why and I don't know how. You don't deserve this, I'm so sorry."

"I know Spence, I know." You moved closer to him and he held you like it was the last time... because it was. "I'm sorry too."

You pulled away from him."I'll grab some stuff and go stay at my mom's for a few days. I just need to find a new place to move my stuff to." You said, trying to brush some tears away but failing as they kept falling.

"No, it's fine. I'll go, this is just as much your home as it is mine. I'll stay with Derek for a bit, you take your time sorting stuff out ok?" He said, using his thumbs to attempt to wipe away your tears. You sighed but nodded knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer.

You sat down as he went to the room to gather some things, your mind reeling from the last half hour. How could so much change in such a short period of time, years spent together thrown away so quick.

"I'm done, I'll get going ok?" He said placing his duffel bag down beside by the door.

"So this is it huh?" You said, with a sigh. You felt him walk towards you and take a seat next to you.

"The last 10 years have been the most incredible time of my life, you put up with so much of my shit and loved me unconditionally and I can't thank you enough for giving the eager 25-year-old who wanted nothing more than to impress you a chance. I'm never going to stop loving you, you know that. I'm never gonna forget about you, my first love, the first woman to capture my heart. I'm so sorry things didn't work out like how we'd imagined them. If I could change how I feel I would, I wanted nothing more than for this to be a silly phase, for me to wake up one day and feel how I felt again. But it didn't happen and it fucking sucks."

"I get it, Spence, you have to do what makes you happy and I'm not gonna stop you. I'm just sorry it wasn't me that could give you want and need, but you're gonna make some girl out there very happy if you're even half the man you were when you were with me." You gave him a soft smile as he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

He stood up and walked to the door. "Call me when you're ready ok? I love you." He turned and gave you a soft smile before picking up his bag and walking out the door.

You just broke down, you don't know how long you sat there sobbing your heart out but it felt like forever. Everything hurt so bad you didn't think you'd ever feel any emotion other than heartbreak for as long as you lived.

You took a deep breath as your hand hovered over the delete button on your phone, it was time to move on just as he had. As you released the breath you were holding, your finger pressed against the button, deleting all the pictures you had with him and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and the realisation sunk in.

You loved him so much, but he wasn't yours to love anymore.

He was just a memory.

tagged: @gcblers @187-reid @mgg-theprettiestboy @mggbler @snitchthewitch

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer fluff #my works!

373 notes · View notes

ushiwakaout · 3 years

Text

Things I believe Matsukawa Issei and you’re kid would say if you lived together (From the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep)

i’m ONLY doing this because @sloppykyuu is just begging me to write about Issei 🙄 (and @kac-chowsballs requested it as well)

Merry christmas Pea! I’m Latina so i celebrate today (the 24th) 💚

established relationship || fem mommy reader || you and Matus have a kid together and you call him Bub/kiddo/bean their name is Sora (unisex name so u can decide if it’s a girl or boy)

“Hey bean, let’s go wake up your momma.” (7:00 am)

“No... mommy’s scary when she makes up.”

“I know bub, i wake up to her every morning, how do you think i feel?”

you: “I can hear you Issei!!!”

“He meant to say scary beautiful momma.”

you: “Don’t defend your dad bub.”

“Shut up and give me a kiss woman.”

“How’d you sleep? Good? Good.”

“Not feeling sore?”

“Ow, he’s not even listening, huh bean.”

“What?”

“See exactly my point.”

“I don’t work today, so how about we go out today and have some family time.”

*will tangle his fingers in your hair while you’re still in bed*

“Or do you wanna stay in bed and get a sitter~”

“Ow, dont hit me. I’m just making suggestions.”

“Hey, bean- why don’t you give daddy and mommy some alone time, yeah?”

*your kid whines a little because he low key was falling asleep on your chest*

you: “Come on kiddo, i’ll make you whatever you want for breakfast.” (7:30 am)

“anything?”

*Sora’s legit rushing out the door*

“Come here.”

*Isseis already dressed but you’re nude on the sheets, makes you sit on his lap anyways*

“You sure you don’t wanna get a sitter.”

*he’s holding your hips and he’s kissing you all over, he’s doing it in a sweet romantic manner*

“You can have a date night and everything.”

“You know bean doesn’t mind, he’s old enough to get that mommy and daddy need alone time.”

“Family time? You sure?”

*hes caressing the small of your back and just giving you the most softest smile.”

“Come on , get up and let’s make Sora some breakfast.” (8:00 am)

*he really do be handing you one of his old uniform shirt and a pair of his clean boxers, he knows they makes you feel comfy*

“Bean, hey- leave your mom alone while she’s cooking.”

“But i wanna watch.”

*big eye roll from Issei but he’s not surprised he’s fascinated with his mother because, like father like son*

“Need some help?”

“Are you sure?

“Fine... Give me a kiss.”

“Their not even watching...”

“You look sexy in my clothes, have I told you that?”

*smacks you’re ass before kissing your cheek and walking back to Sora*

“Done? Look good babe.”

“No,no,no put the dishes down.”

“You cook, I clean, remember?”

*you roll your eyes and set the plates down in the sink*

“Good girl. Go clean up with Sora while i do this.” (9:00 am)

*you and Sora are in the bath together missing around, making a mohawk with their hair and everything*

*Matsu is all finished up with the dishes when he’s leaning on the door frame and listening to the two of you giggle in the bath*

*god he’s so in love with you it’s so sweet*

“You guys finished yet?” (9:40 am)

you: “Take a picture pops, it’ll last longer.”

“Take a picture- yeah you know what maybe i will.”

*takes a few pictures, definitely takes some on you and crops out Sora*

“Come on bean, let’s give mommy some alone time.”

“Want me to dress them?”

“Oh come on, i don’t dress then up so bad.”

“Fine, fine- I’ll keep it simple.”

“Stay here bean, i’ll be right back. I’m gonna check up on mom, yeah?”

you: “Why are you back here Issei.”

“Mmm just wanted to see if my sweet girl needs some company.” (10:00 am)

*a very quiet quicky, will fuck you over the sink with his hand wrapped around your neck so your back is so close to his chest, makes you watch yourself drool over his cock*

“You don’t want Sora to know that her mommy is a slut for her daddy’s cock.”

*hes legit got such a foul mouth*

“MOMMY I NEED TO PEE!!!”

*Issei burst out laughing bc you’re mid orgasm*

“Mommy’s coming Sora...”

*you’re punching his thigh a couple a thighs because he’s being an asshole*

“hurry im gonna pee of the floor.”

“Bean, you’re not even dressed yet.”

*bean is really running naked into the bathroom*

“I wanted mommy to dress me.”

you: “see i told you, you suck at dressing them.”

“hey- i’m trying my best here.” (10:20 am)

you: “Bubs, you’re getting to old to carry.”

“No im not.”

“No he’s not.”

“Come here, mom’s too weak to carry you bean.”

“No she’s not.”

you: “Thanks bean but mommy is a little weak so i need Issei to carry you.”

“But i don’t want papa.”

“Ouch, that hurt.”

“Only if papa buys me some tokoyaki.”

“Deal, come here bug.”

*Sora is a crawler so he likes crawling up from your feet until you cary him and he’s don’t it to the point where he scratches*

*that’s why issei doesn’t let him climb in him anymore- he picks him up and throws him on his shoulders*

“Woah, i’m so tall! Look momma!”

“Hey, give me your hand.”

“Because i wanna hold it woman, now give it to me.”

“Do you wanna share tokoyaki? No, thought so.”

“Open up *issei 100% likes feeding you in public to embarass you* Good girl. Taste good?” (1:00 pm)

*you probably take Sora to a park because she’s very energetic and needs to let it out somewhere*

“They’re getting so big...”

“Let me put another baby in you, yeah?”

“Come on, you’d look so good all full and plum for me.”

“Stop blushing woman, you should know you’re sexy by now.”

*he knudges your hip while you hide your face into his back*

*he kisses your hair and then the tip of your nose*

*Sora is running towards their dad and shes pulling on his jeans*

“Is mommy crying or did you embarrass her again.”

“I embarrassed her again.”

*cue pouty Sora*

“Bad daddy, come on momma, let’s get you away from meanie.”

you: “yes please.” (2:00 pm)

*sora makes you push them of the swings*

*issei once again is taking pictures of you if his kid*

*sora ends up playing with dogs that are like twice her size and one of them topples over her and she’s flying to the grown*

you: “Sora! You alright baby?!”

“let’s do that again mommy!!!”

“Do that one more time and i think you’ll kill your mommy.”

*you go back with issei for a bit and someone starts a fight with Sora bc she took someone’s swing*

“MOMMY THEY STARTED IT!!!”

you: “I know sora, hold on a second.”

*you get in a small altercation with another mother and you snap at them, leaving them quiet as hell*

“That was really sexy.”

you: “She called bean mean things, you thought i was gonna sit there and just listen?”

“Mmm, feisty... That’s very sexy of you momma bear.”

you: “Issei i’m gonna punch you.”

“Understood princess.”

“You two hungry yet?” (4:00 pm)

“YES! More tokoyaki!!!”

you: “bean you’ve had enough tokoyaki.”

“There’s no such thing.”

you: “yes there is, and i’m in the mood for ramen.”

“Got it, ramen it is. Let’s do Sora.”

“but.... tokoyaki.”

“Bean, they 100% have tokoyaki.”

“YES!!!”

you: “Carefull bean the foods probably hot.” (5:30 pm)

*they proceed to throw a tokoyaki ball in their mouth and they immediately spit it out*

“HOT TOKOYAKI!! OUCH!”

“Bean, this is why you listen to mommy.”

“I’m sleepy!” (6:30 pm)

you: “you want me to pick you up?”

“please!”

you: “They out yet?” (7:00 pm)

“Out cold...”

“Hold on, don’t move... Let me take picture.”

“Look this way, good girl- now smile for me.”

*looking down at his phone a little to long while he’s admiring you with his kid*

“We made that.”

“God please let me put another baby in you.”

“Give me a kiss pretty girl.”

“I love you.” (8:30 pm)

“Want me to tuck them in?”

“Alrighty hand them over. You go get ready for bed.”

“They really are out cold.”

“Mmm you look so beautiful.”

“Give me a kiss.”

“I can’t say it enough but you- You are so damn fine.”

*he 100% is fucking you with purpose tonight. he’s such a good baby daddy and just fills you up to the brim with his cum while fucking your pretty pussy*

“Let me lay on your chest baby.”

*proceeds to kiss your chest*

“I love you so much sweet girl.”

307 notes · View notes

grantzarrr · 3 years

Text

Just a thing g.d

summary: Y/n and Grayson don’t like labels but they fuck around with each other and feelings are definitely there, but what happens when they are revealed?

warnings: poorly written smut :)

tags: @fangdolan @gothlydolan @onlyyyarii (idk why it didn’t work :(( )

There she is, in her sexiest piece of lingerie that she could find. What was she doing? Well, she was taking mirror pictures for her boyfriend—fuck buddy—? To everyone besides them, they were seemed to just be dating but Y/n and Grayson just didn’t want to put a label on it yet. They never claimed each other but would always deny that they were fuck buddies, they just wanted to enjoy each other without having to feel like there was a need to call- what they have- something. Just taking it slow.

But while she was setting that up, Grayson was in the middle of filming for his podcast with Ethan and Ryan and she knew far and well what he was doing. She knew exactly what time it was, she knew that if Grayson’s phone ‘blew up’ a few times, everyone would be on his case ready to ask questions. And that's exactly how she wanted and what she wanted.

“So gray, are you still trying to figure your love life out or—like what’s going on there?” Ryan asked, being very keen on his relationship.

“Uh, ry you mean fuck partner?” Ethan teased knowing where to push him.

“Oh fuck off e, we’re not fuck partners nor in a relationship—just enjoying each other for a bit.”

Then he felt it, his phone buzzing notifying him that he received a message, he only glanced though, roughly seeing your name and turning his phone back over. But then, that notification went off again back to back. That right there caused some heads to turn as Grayson saw it was you again and going to see what’s up this time. And oh- was he surprised, there you were sitting on your knees in some lingerie, giving him that little smirk he would love to fuck outta you. He noticed the first little remark of 4 that you sent, that one just stuck out more it seemed like you were talking as if you had known what exactly he was doing.

here’s something to talk about on ur little podcast. p.s ik u wanna tell them were together so go on ;)

And that fucked Grayson up, as much as he wanted to fucking call you his just for you to say that did something— but he couldn’t be quite sure. But as he continued staring he started to shift in his seat a little, only staring at your tits in that, looking so perfect for him. Only him. All he wanted to do was to cover them in hickies. Oh, how bad he wanted to flip you over your vanity and force you to watch him through the mirror as he pounded into you miraculously. Then to place you on your knees and shove his dick down your throat until he saw the tears himself.

“Yo gray? seems as if someone got you a little tensed there? You’re shifting bro..” Ethan chuckled, he knew it was you asking to get dicked down or something. He just wanted to fuck with his brother and see how long it would take here. “Oh no, it’s nobody.” He blurted out quickly but he knew for this to stop he had to respond, to at least say something so he did it swiftly as possible.

Y/n you better fucking stop or I swear you won’t even have free hands to type.

He was pissed, aggravated he was so mad that you were getting away with that, and he couldn’t do shit. He had to sit there and film his podcast for about an hour and he just fucking knew you wouldn’t let this go, not even for a second. And he thought everyone forgot until Ethan brought it back up and he had to say at least something they wanted to hear now.

“Is that uh is that your girlfriend? Hm? Is she asking for you to come over again?” Ethan lightheartedly joked but still, he was so determined to get Grayson to boil and steam over like he did every time just on camera. “Jesus e, would you let it go already.” Grayson gritted being so easily tempted to just end the podcast, it's been at least 58 minutes he can firmly say.

“Oh no go ahead, I would like to hear about this so to be fuck buddy, what is it only on Fridays? like a club? because I would love to be invited” Ryan joined in with Ethan on the little joke but he seriously wanted to know about this just in the goofy little way to make of it. But just as Grayson was about to answer, another one of a more scandalous photo sent. This photo made its way to his number one spot on the “Private Folder” of his. Grayson felt like he was gonna explode but the explosive was straight at his dick and his face went beat red. Not of embarrassment but because holy shit— look at you.

It was you legs spread and the camera hovering just where to leave the imagination running wild but still enough to tell you were wet, even if he has already seen it all. It still fucked him up in ways he couldn’t even began to fonder over. And it was just enough for him to say enough of that teasing.

“Yo, um, I gotta go- but finish the pod ok? Alright, I’ll be back...later.” Grayson rushed off quickly. Everyone in the room just watched in silence as he quickly gathered his phone and a few small little things he carried with him and he left. “Yup, booty call- where the fuck is my 10 dollars, Ryan!” Ethan shouted, happy he won this little ‘bet’. “Wow-.” Was all Ryan could say.

Once Grayson got to her house, he didn’t even bother to knock, he knew that the spear key was always under the 4th rock to the left. And when he got in...oh boy was he furious. Talking as he closed and locked the door back, not knowing she was right in the living room getting herself off. “Y/n what the fuck was that!? I told you that I-.” He was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her wimpier his name softly, he gulped quickly and turning her way to watch exactly what she was doing. “Oh-, I see you’ve started without me—and that’s the biggest mistake of your fucking life babe.”

And with that, he went and grabbed both her hands and held them above her head, diving in with a very heated kiss. Y/n begun mumbling words against their kiss as she tried rolling her naked hips against his crotch for some friction. “You wanna go and send shit like that to me when I’m filming? Then have the audacity to finger yourself? Instead of simply telling me you wanted to fuck—god why are you so risky.”

He tried to not rage at her, there was no point she wasn’t his girl but nor was she a ‘fuck buddy’ well technically yeah, but to them, they weren’t. But the shit she pulls sometimes fucks him up, having him thinking about it for days and easily getting hard at the smallest memory and he can’t say shit or it’ll be over, and boy he fucking loves it, who wouldn’t? The adrenaline is what Grayson Dolan is all about. He doesn’t know if she feels the same or he just really knows how to fuck her right yet. “ Mhmm I did and I’ll do it multiple times until you boil over because I’m your little risk maker.” She smirked—oh did she just say-

“You wanna fuck with me like that hm? Have me thinking about it for days? Well, I’ll show you a good fucking alright.” He growled at her, having a good reason to give it to her good after that claim. He started attacking her neck. Sucking and licking, little nibbles here and there and he then moved down her body. Still having her hands above them. He stopped right at beginning of her pussy.

“Get up and bend over on the couch, now.” He demanded and was very determined to show her what she could have if they were together. He still didn’t quite know if she meant what she said but shit... he’ll take it. As she was getting up he smacked her ass giving her more of a little pep in her step, and she didn’t dare to say anything. As she was getting in the position, he got behind her and started to scrip, he just wanted to see her bend from behind, getting some of the action in. Once he did he started to stroke his cock, eyes fully on her pussy from behind and her ass. Her being impatient and hearing his short little breaths, she peaked from her shoulder at him and God was that a sight to see.

“Does that feel good, angel?” His deep voice rumbling within her, he knew he wouldn’t get anything out of her. His dick is big enough to keep anything but moans and groans from escaping. So all she did was nod quickly. The couch was snacking, she was shaking he was pounding into her giving out everything he had built up. “Fuck, I love the sounds my fucking pussy makes.” He gritted. She already knew face down on the couch, ass up and he hammered, Y/n wasn’t even sure she would be able to walk after this. And oh wait— did he say?

He just filled her up to the brim with his cock alone, the thickness and fullness of it alone would fulfill her. God was he good, gripping a handful of hair for a leverage of their position, “Graysonn, don’t stop, please.” She begged and since she asked so nicely he didn’t stop and wasn’t going to until her orgasm had her in tears. “Come on, baby. I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.” But she couldn’t, her neighbors recently complained about it since their baby was born. But when he was going at it like this, all she could say was “Neighbor. Babies—FUCK!” He understood completely- on both ends. The neighbors that had their baby and that she was gonna cum, he also felt her pussy clench so he knew for a fact. He was already at the edge of his orgasm.

“Did you claim me?” They both coincidentally said at the same time but who was gonna answer it...

A/N: helloo, hope you liked it!! im gonna drown in holy water now :D

#grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins smut #smut #ethan dolan smut #ethan dolan #grayson dolan fic #fan fic

150 notes · View notes

yamithediaperdork · 3 years

Text

My little Brothers revenge- Final

The next day at school time dragged by for Justin. while his teacher was tickled pink that he'd done so well on his extra credit work, Grizz's hadn't been met with the same gushing, and more of a "well at least you tried and I appreciate the effort you put in."

Needless to say this didn't help mend any fences between Grizz and Justin and come noon hour Rayne was even angrier. It had only been the fact that Rayne was one more suspension for fighting at school and he'd be expelled that saved Justin from a ass kicking.

With all the grades going to the same school and the lunch hours the same, Justin found himself hanging out with Alex's group ironically, and even then they only allowed it because Alex had let them in on what he had planned for Justin.

As it got closer and closer to 3 Justin toyed with trying to get himself detention so he'd have to stay after school and put off his upcoming humiliation but then pictured trying to explain it to his parents and that wasn't a fun mental picture either.

As the final bell rang and the loser's club met up to walk Justin home, claiming to be his honor guard to protect him, Justin mentally wondered what he had done to deserve all this.

Their dad worked 9 to five five days a week so he wasn't home as the boys arrived, and Mom had recently taken up a part time job working 12 to 5 herself.

She had waited till Justin was old enough to be trusted to look after Alex, though if she had known what was about to happen she might not of been as eager to start a job.

"Alright BABY brother..ready for your first of many, many diapers?" Alex asked as they got inside, practically bouncing he was so excited.

"Would it make a difference if I said no?" Justin groaned, though he had accepted this was happening.

"heh, not in the least bit! Max, would you be a pal and go and get ohhh.. i dunno, what do you guys think would be a good number of diapers for widdle Justin to wear?" Alex chuckled, looking at Max, Kyle and Lyle.

"Well we want him padded for awhile so I say one." Max said, nodding thoughtfully.

"Bull dooky on that!" Kyle giggled. "10!"

Justin paled at that and whined loudly.

"Uhhh I like the idea of that.. but I think we're gonna have to be more realistic." Lyle said, rubbing the back of his head. "3?"

"Heh, all good suggestions. Max, I know we want this to last awhile but i also want a waddle in his set. Kyle, I like how you think but maybe save that for when mom and dad aren't gonna be around. we don't want him busted in diapers right off the bat. I think we'll just go double diapers for now and see how that works." Alex said and nodded to Max.

With Max heading down into the basement to get the diapers from where they'd been stashed, Alex had the twins go and make sure doors were locked and curtains were pulled, then go down into the basement and pick out some baby toys for widdle Justin.

"ah come on, playing with baby toy's in the living room?" Justin whined.

"I can always have you play in the front yard." Alex said with a smug grin.

"..Oh boy! playing in the living room! weeee!" Justin said quickly, sweat dropping.

"That's what I thought. Lose the pants and undies."

getting the diapers on Justin's big butt turned out to be a bit harder then Alex had figured, and he wasn't sure if he was gonna trust them for a stinky accident though he was positive they'd hold up to wet ones.

'eh, so i just make him a pants pisser. win some, lose some.' Alex thought with a grin.

He was currently using a role of light green masking tape and after using it to make sure the sides of the diapers were fixed on tight, he was running it around Justin's waist so they're would be no quick and easy getting out of the diapers and Alex would know if he had taken them off without permission.

Just to make sure he had each of the loser club sign they're named in pen on the waist band as Justin turned red as a cherry and had his hands to his face looking ready to cry.

"Now Little Justin.. I want you to TRY and be a big boy and use the potty for uh-oh's." Alex said as he finished signing his name.

"What!? After he made-" Lyle started up.

"-Us poop ourselves!?" Kyle finished, both twins filed with righteous anger.

"Justin would be too toxic to hide it, plus I'm not sure the diapers will take a load of back door fudge without leaking. anyone wanna clear that up?" Alex asked.

"heh, yeah guys, Alex has a point. sides, you two DID turn Judas on us so consider crapping yourself karma." max added.

"For the record, I am perfectly fine with crapping in the potty." Justin chimed in.

"That's good to know baby bro. though there's just onnnnne thing about that.." Alex said and flashed a impish grin.

"Why do I get the feeling this is gonna suck." Justin muttered, shifting and crinkling in his white and pink diapers.

"Because despite what your test scores say, your not stupid." Alex giggled. "Anyways, You have to get permission from one of us to go and use the potty for boom boom and one of us will be waiting by the door to make sure your in your diapies when you come out. or if you need help with your pampers after."

"Of freaking course.." Justin whined as the loser club laughed.

Sat on the soft blanket on the floor and in a t-shirt and diapers, Justin was made to put on a show for the younger boys using the stuffies that the twins had fished out of the basement for him.

they had been washed and dried before being stored in a plastic bag so no one was worried about Justin getting sick as he had a interesting epic war between 4 teddy bears and then a lion, tiger and bear stuffie. (And yes a 'oh my' comment had been dropped.)

The only reason Justin didn't have a paci in his mouth at the the moment was the fact that the loser's club wanted to heard EVERY single bit of the 'plot' of Justin's little show he was putting on for them, even though it was clear that he sucked at improv.

"S-So then uh.. the Lion decided that the four bears had disgraced the bear on his team too many times at.. gathering..honey! yeah honey and so-"

the losers just chuckled and encouraged Justin on, though he never once go into the being a big baby dork to their disappointment.

the story came to a sudden end however when Justin turned beet red and dropped the stuffies and his hands went to his crotch. he'd been on his knees at the point and hunched over.

"Alex..alex please..I gotta take a whiz so bad my back teeth are floating.." Justin whimpered.

"And? your WEARING your bathroom for piddles remember little guy?" Alex asked smugly.

"..O-Oh and I have to take a crap! so you better le-" Justin tried but Max snorted.

"Nice try dip shit. you must think we're as stupid as Rayne if we're gonna fall for that." Max said.

"But..But..I can't just wet myself like a baby!" Justin whimpered.

"Oh! I know what the problem is!" Lyle said, locking eyes with Kyle, who shared his brothers grin.

"Yeah, me too! don't worry Justin! we'll help you!" Kyle said.

Before Alex or Max or even Justin could ask what they meant, the twins had sprung up from their seats and tackled Justin to the floor though a combination of surprise and leverage, then they were on top of him and tickling his sides.

"ah! No Stopppp!" Justin cried out, actually being fairly ticklish though normally it wasn't a weakness Alex could take advantage of as Justin would just easily over power him.

the tickling made what little bit of self control Justin had left vanish in mere seconds and with a wail that made all of the losers club wince, and some dogs around the block howl, Justin flooded his pretty pink and white diapers.

If Justin had thought the low point of his day had been being made to wet himself, he soon found out just how much worse it would get as the heavy soaked padding sagged around his hips, and he was told how he'd have to earn a diapie change before their parents got home.

"Unless of course you wanna risk leaking during supper." Alex chuckled.

"...I hate you. SO much right now." Justin huffed, rubbing at his tear stained checks.

"Awww don't be like that, you'll hurt big brothers feelings" Alex scolded but couldn't stop grinning.

"You should be thankful we're giving you a way to earn a diaper change nice and quick anyways." Max added. "We could just wait half a hour and let you squish around in your soaked diapies."

"Yeah, I think you should tell Alex how much-" Kyle started

"-You love him and how he's the bestest big brother in the world." Lyle finished.

"..Your joking right? It's bad enough I gotta do the stupid diapie change song, now you want me t-" Justin started to rant, but was cut off.

"Say it or you can sing till your blue in the face, I won't change you till 3 minutes before mom and dad are due home." Alex interrupted.

"...I Love you Alex and you the best big brother in the world." Justin said, huffing and saying it in a flat tone.

"no no no, say it with some gusto!" Max snickered, bringing out his cell phone to record.

"Fuck my life.." Justin groaned and face palmed, then taking a deep breath and forcing a cheerful tone into his voice. "Gee golly big brother! I wove you sooo much! your the bestest big brother ever!"

between the goofy look on his face and the statement, the loser's club was roaring with laughter.

"Awww, I love you too. now let's get on with your little song~" Alex wheezed between laughs.

Set to the tune of tinkle tinkle little star, Justin started singing.

"Tinkle tinkle in my pants,

I just blew my last chance to wear big boy pants.

wetting my my diapers till their super soggy

It makes me sleepy and kinda groggy

Alex please change my diaper butt

then pat me on the head like I'm a mutt."

Needless to say Justin wished a hole would open up in the earth and swallow him whole, but the performance was deemed acceptable by the losers club who noted it wasn't like Justin wouldn't have time to perfect his act.

One soggy diaper change later, and after letting Justin sit on the potty for five minutes and try and go 'uh-oh', and Justin was in two of the blue and white diapers this time and was allowed to wear a baggy pair of shorts over them as Alex set him to work doing any chores that needed to be done while the loser's club did their homework.

with the chores done Justin mentioned that he was kinda thirsty and so much to his humiliation (and the losers club delight) he was given a sippy cup full of Kool-aid to drink, never having noticed that some pills had been slipped in and dissolved, just chalking the weird taste up to the sippy cup being old.

He was sipping away on pills that would make sure he was peeing like a race horse and having to stick around Alex all night long, as well as a mild sedative that would have him going night night much earlier then normal. (one of Alex's new goals was to have a later bedtime then his big brother naturally.)

After finishing his sippy cup Justin was supervised as he did his homework and the rest of the losers club took off since technically they weren't suppose to be over.

Ironically compared to all the other times Alex had attempted to tutor his big brother, somehow having him in double diapers had him paying more attention and picking up on what was going on faster then normal.

'huh, Maybe I SHOULD send him to school in diapers..at least on test days.' Alex wondered and giggled a little.

Justin looked up, wondering what the the giggling was about but Alex just put him back to work.

The rest of the night was mostly incident free except for a cute moment at the supper table when Justin had been in the middle of telling his parents how happy his teacher had been with the extra work he'd done AND was giving props to Alex for helping him when he just stopped, their parents giving him a weird look but Alex knew full well what was happened, baby Justin was making piddles.

"It's Ok Justin, you don't have to hide I helped you." Alex said, jumping in and playing it as if Justin was worried they'd be mad. "I didn't just give him the answers but helped him to find them on his own. we're gonna start doing stuff like that more often so Justin can keep his grades up for when he wants to join the football team next year."

"Heh. Well ok." Dad said super proud. "Justin, I don't mind if Alex is helping you, just as long as he's not giving you the quick and easy way out."

"Oh trust me, I don't make this easy on Justin. right bro?" Alex said and smirked, winking at Justin.

Only their mother seemed to pick up on the fact there was two different conversations going on, but being tired from work she left well enough alone.

And so after supper Alex changed Justin's diaper and let him sit on the potty for 10 minutes to see if he could made boom boom (and to Justin's humiliation, he was praised and told what a good boy he was when he DID manage it)

Re-diapered and lead to the bedroom, Justin found himself super wiped and ready for bed even though it wasn't even 8 pm yet, but just chalked it up to his stressful day.

"Hey squ- Big brother.." Justin mumbled, rubbing a eye as he headed for his bed.

"Yessss?" Alex asked, already knowing where this was going.

"Can you tell mom and dad I'm too sleepy and going to bed early?" He asked.

"of course I can' you don't mind if I stay up do you?" Alex asked, but Justin was laying in bed, eyes closed.

"What..whatever." he yawns and was snoring softly before Alex even left the room.

Day's turned into weeks, and before long Justin's once 11 pm on weekday's bedtime had been adjusted to a 8 pm one, with Alex's jumping from 9 pm to 11.

Ironically, 4 days into the diaper punishment from Alex, and Justin's padding had been found by they're mom, Forcing Alex to come up with a off the top of his head story about how Justin had started bed wetting too and begging mom not to tell dad because Justin didn't want dad thinking he was a wuss.

that was ALSO why Justin hadn't said anything and only asked Alex for his help.

their mom had bought the line hook line and sinker, but had also gone and tossed out the other diapers and still told their dad about it, before taking Justin out to pick out his own diapers.

Naturally Alex was giggling his butt off the whole time they were gone and telling his friends about it.

Grizz and Rayne never really forgave Justin and isolated him more and more and so it became more and more natural for Justin to hang out with Alex's friends and just be treated like everyone's kid brother, even as his accidents got worse and he started needed day time diapers as well.

Ironically the daytime wetting, at least during school hours WEREN'T something Alex was behind, but it only reinforced the perception of Justin being their little guy.

at the same time as Justin's accidents got worse Alex finally stopped wetting the bed and just kept his avengers diapers around for when he or the other loser's wear to make Justin who had turned into a cry baby feel better.

And so, a tale that began with one brother being a bully and a dick ends with the bed wetter now the big brother despite being smaller and younger, and a ex-bully now a 24/7 diaper dork. Don't you just love a happy ending?

10 notes · View notes

wesimpforxiao · 3 years

Text

My Backstory (IRL)

Before I begin, if you want nothing to do with hearing about abusive relationships, possible eating disorder, anxiety disorders/depression/suicide, sexual assualt, manipulation, gaslighting, sexual harassment, etc, SKIP THIS POST.

So, I would like to start off by saying the NSFW content I *try* to write always falls stale, 1. being because I get embarrassed or ashamed by my writing my own thoughts, and 2. because of the rest of this post. So the Albedo NSFW may not happen, but I asked just in case (i have some of it written out, but it is very stale). And also because I may or may not have accidentally triggered a trauma response as I was writing the Albedo post (oops...)

To begin, freshman year of high school, 14 yrs old, (I’m 20 and in college now), I started dating this guy that was in my grade. I have an anxiety disorder, so when we started going out, I immediately stopped eating because I constantly felt sick to my stomach. It wasn’t because I thought I was fat or anything, I just felt sick. Think butterflies in your stomach times 10 and ALL the time. We dated for a month before he broke up with me. During that time, he had suddenly brought up the idea of me sending nude or bra/undie pics to him. Him and his friend (who was in the call with us) tag-teamed and said that it was normal and asked when I would be ready to send pictures. Both of them asked that. Red flag number one. I said 3 months just to please them, not that I was actually going to do it.

Once he broke up with me, I was DEVASTATED. I feel A LOT, and it was my first ‘relationship.’ Exactly a month later, he texted me, saying he wanted to be friends. I said okay. He never acknowledged my presence at school, often avoiding my eyes. Sometime into that he had asked me what I would do if he had asked me out again, and when I said I’d say yes, he immediately texted back and said “i am so sorry, my friend [insert name] was texting you on my phone and I didn’t know until now.” Red flag number two.

Then, after we had stopped being friends, a month passes. He texts me again, this time saying “It’s been 3 months.” Yeah. Did you read the part where I said I’d consider sending pictures at 3 months? That only applied if we were dating for that long (and I still wouldnt do that), so where is his logic? Now, I don’t know why I even got back together with him, but I did. For a week. And just like the first time, I felt sick to my stomach. I always look back on this as a warning from God. And this time, he wasn’t hiding his intentions. He was CONSTANTLY making sexual jokes, sending inappropriate emoji ‘jokes,’ and asking for nudes. He did not stop asking even when I told him to, and even when I told him it made my stomachache worsen. I did not trust him, but I stayed for a full week of hell. Eventually I slightly caved, showing him on facetime me in my bra and underwear (My thinking: he couldn’t save pictures that way). He covered his camera. Did he take screenshots or something? I don’t know. It was awful. I kicked him to the curb the next day, still feeling like *I* should be the one apologizing. He eventually “tried” to apologize thru text, but was too much of a coward to apologize in person when i requested that. He says he had cancer or something, I honestly don’t care. His actions were inexcusable and it was pathetic that he used it as an excuse.

I hated him so strongly for the next 3-4 years, but the story doesn’t end there. A new guy, senior, 17 yrs old. End of my freshman year. We get together. He didn’t properly ask me out, just assumed we were dating after we confessed our feelings EVEN THOUGH I told him my dad said to wait 3 months. Red flag number three. So, by the bf’s standards, 6 months into the relationship, I stay over at his place for New year’s. I will admit that we did stuff over the phone prior to then, but I consider to be fine with that timeline. At some point while we were planning to do stuff (if ya know what I mean but NOT full on hoo-ha stuff okay) for New year’s, he said “Who knows, maybe we’ll get carried away ;)” Red flag number four. This immediately made me uncomfortable, and I was not fully comfortable when the day came either.

We were making out (consensual, but I feel like i was forcing myself a bit), I let him touch me down *there* (which he sucked at lemme tell ya) (also it was fine when he touched me before this day), and then he asked to touch my chest. *Previously, he had stated if i wasnt sure, hed touch over my bra first and go slow. He did not do either, instead immediately slipping his hand under my bra.* That is when something inside me snapped, and I felt number than I already was. Red flag number five.

I didn’t stop him because I wanted to feel something, anything. I got nothing. And then came the time when he decided to say “Now its your turn,” grabbed my hand, and put it down his pants, ignoring me, who was saying “I don’t know how to, I’m not sure I want to.”

I felt nothing for a few days, and then depression set in. It didn’t feel connected to that incident, and i didn’t connect the dots until later. It got so bad I had almost decided to kill myself three months later. My anxiety was through the roof, and every day my trauma manifested itself in the question “Do I actually love him?” It was a living hell to be inside my head all the time. He at one point asked me “Are you sure you were okay with what happened on new year’s? You’re acting like you’ve been raped.” When I said I wasn’t, he said “oh.” and we never talked about it again.

The relationship continued for another year despite my obvious depression and anxiety that revolved around him. He lied to me on several occasions, disregarded my boundaries (i.e. continued to make sexual jokes even though they clearly bugged me after the assault), and refused to get a job so he could smoke weed all day. My parents urged him to prove himself (he was out of high school by this time), and when I eventually took their side and gently nudged him along, he said “You are in a relationship with me, not your parents. Its either me or them.” Red flags six through ten right there.

When I managed to break it off with him, a ‘friend’ apparently took his side. This is the girlfriend in the “His Reaction to Your Ex(es)” post(s). This friend was actually an adopted cousin of mine, and we were not on speaking terms at this point because she had taken my first bf’s side, saying that *I* had to forgive him and that I was in the wrong for not wanting to talk to him or accept his half-assed apologies. (She was not at our school during the time me and that guy dated so she literally knew nothing). I cut her off because of that. Turns out she had a massive crush on the dude and he was already taken by someone else.

So, this same chick sides with the second bf, telling people that I’m the one who hurt him and whatnot. I come to find out that him and her are now dating and honestly, it is hilarious. Even I think she deserves better. He has no future, and I came to realize that, knowing that if i stayed with him longer I would have 100% actually killed myself, or died spiritually.

So yeah, that’s my story, hopelessly in love with fictional characters now because I am too traumatized by what they have done. I cannot be touched sexually without reverting to a depression or an anxious mess. Even if I did manage to be in a relationship after that, I don’t think I’d ever be able to have sex with someone. And finally I cannot have a healthy relationship, because what is that, really? I’m just gonna live alone with some goats LOL.

14 notes · View notes

fangyymusic · 4 years

Text

Some things I could imagine happening between my boyfriend and I’s fursonas and OCs:

1. Fang has his two friends over- Boris and K9- and they’re all playing a dumb game of Truth or Dare. Because K9 “Isn’t a wuss”, he picks dare. Fang clears his throat and asks for a pizza. Already realizing how he shouldn’t have said dare, K9 reluctantly pulls up his phone.

“What do you want?”

“Get us a medium pizza. Split it in half. One side just plain cheese and the other sausage. For Sirus.”

K9 sighs.

“Is that all?”

“Cheese sticks.” Sirus hisses while he stares K9 down and K9 proceeds to hate himself more as he puts that in.

“Are you going to at least share?” K9 asks the two boyfriends, whom are cuddling on the couch.

“No, you owe me.”

And, as usual, Fang was right. That dipshit always owes Fang money.

2. Sirus literally tying into Fang and playing Rocket League while they both wait. Fang has no idea how to feel about this.

3. Sirus tends to fall asleep in a variety of places around the house. Fang finds him napping in the corner of the couch curled up, under surfaces, and sometimes lodged in weird spaces like behind the couch or on the floor, plopped down right where that perfect, single ray of sunlight hits.

4. Fang makes breakfast for Sirus before he leaves to work. He likes to leave sticky notes for him too.

5. Something tells me Sirus’s diet is 5% spaghetti and the other 95% is Fang’s boy syrup (hAh boy syrup).

6. Sirus catches Fang listening to one of his songs. He’s humiliated, super flustered, and flattered at most. Then Fang proceeds to ask him if he’d like to make a song with them. Sirus melts, as per usual.

7. Sirus gets lonely super quickly when Fang isn’t around. Fang works most weekdays, so Sirus is usually home by himself. I feel like to cope with his loneliness, he’d call his friend Styrix over to hang out.

But he’s still lonely.

So he whips out his phone and begins to call Fang. When Fang answers, Sirus whines.

“Fang, honey, I miss you... I’m lonely and it’s been foreverrrr...”

Right in front of Styrix. Poor guy is a third wheel.

8. Fang has flowers in the front yard. Something tells me Sirus waters them if Fang forgets. Something about that is super cute.

9. Fang definitely squish’s Sirus’s cheeks.

10. Sirus blushing when Fang and Styrix begin showing off how impressive their maws are. He just has this dumb obsession with how big Fang’s teeth are.

11. They probably both have a height difference fetish to be honest.

12. Sirus REFUSES to let go of Fang’s tail and probably has gotten lost in it several times. He sleeps with it and is just obsessed.

13. Fang makes a self-deprecating joke and Sirus stops him and makes him eat his words. Sirus makes a self-deprecating joke and suddenly he’s showered with gifts, a fancy dinner is planned and probably some one-on-one sexy time. Nice.

14. Them. Freaking out over Monstercat artists. Essentially my boyfriend and I on that field.

15. I feel like Fang pays Styrix to cash in on his weird shenanigans.

16. If Styrix ever met Boris and K9 and got along with them, they’d all be the chaotic, stupid boy group to constantly annoy Fang and Sirus. Not that they don’t already, just the floor may be coated in soap one afternoon.

17. Boris and K9 are British so that means they don’t exist.

18. Fang and Sirus have like no friends and chronic crippling depression.

19. Sirus definitely likes to get Fang “excited” before important work meetings just for his own enjoyment.

20. Sirus definitely squeezes into weird spaces for no reason. He gets stuck often and needs his heroic boyfriend to get him out.

21. FANG. AND SIRUS. SINGING TOGETHER. ABOUT. THEIR. LOVE. Or just in general, that’s cool too.

22. Fang and Sirus dressing edgy together.

23. Fang is having a breakdown so he dabs on some glittery eyeshadow and sticks on some bizarre long lashes and Sirus walks in and casually asks to be done too. Just to accompany Fang.

24. If Fang is too anxious to check out in a store, Sirus will do it. And vice versa.

25. Fang sitting on the couch and Sirus is curled up around him, napping and purring.

26. Fang’s constant expression is simply just flat out exhausted and angry. His brows are always furrowed and you can visibly see how little sleep he got. Same with Sirus; his face is usually void to most emotion. Suddenly they see eachother and smiles explode on their faces and they become a hugging, kissing mess.

27. They hold hands in public.

28. Fang playing guitar and singing to Sirus during a hill picnic. He’s a hopeless romantic like that.

29. Sirus watching Fang furiously and precisely brush his precious teeth.

30. If any sort of mention of “parent” is brought up, I feel like Sirus would deck somebody on the spot if Fang’s around.

31. Although I do, Fang doesn’t make jokes about his dead parents. Please don’t. His feelings will be very hurt.

32. Fang makes weird fox noises at Sirus, probably.

33. Since Sirus is short, he can probably sit on Fang’s shoulders and purr,,

34. Sirus likes to go get his hair cut and every time Fang freaks out over it and insists taking a few pictures to keep for himself.

35. Neither of them would ever ask for the other’s passwords to anything. Privacy means everything to them.

36. Sirus cheering on Fang deepthroating whole eggs.

37. “E.” “Agreed.”

38. Don’t touch either of them. They don’t like being touched. Funny because nobody wants to be around them anyways.

39. Fang LOVES cooking for Sirus. He will cook anything Sirus wants and do it out of the blue. I can imagine Sirus minding his business playing Xbox with his friends and suddenly Fang walks in with a plate. It has a sandwich on it. He cut the crust off and cut it into triangles. On the side, some cinnamon applesauce. As he sets the food and a can of soda for him down he says,

“Here, sweetie. I made you something to gnaw on. If you need absolutely anything else, let me know, okay?” And he goes and kisses Sirus on the forehead and Sirus is all blushy and everything. Sirus tells him he loves him and briefly explains to his friends his boyfriend’s odd, caring nature.

40. In case I haven’t mentioned before, Fang is super motherly toward his boyfriend and just in general. He cleans and cooks idly like some sort of NPC.

41. Fang, Sirus, Styrix, Boris and K9 all on the floor playing DnD.

“Can I roll to fuck the dragon?”

“No.” - Probably Fang.

42. Fang using a laser pointer to play with Sirus.

43. If alcohol is mentioned you will be bashed in the head by your mom, Fang.

44. Fang casually walking up to Sirus with a broom and several other things in his other hand asking for help making a cover art for a song.

45. Fang humming Sirus to sleep.

46. If Fang doesn’t hear from Sirus in ten minutes tops (nice) he will probably sob in a pillow hoping he didn’t do anything wrong.

47. Spoiler alert, Fang and Sirus never fight and always come to eachother maturely if something is up. It’s usually fixed in seconds but Fang is an anxious mess and wants his precious boyfriend to be happy all the time.

48. Fang hates his birthday and the day it’s on. Sirus goes out of his way to make it enjoyable for him.

49. Styrix texting and calling Sirus at like 6 AM to the point Sirus wakes up and just questions his existence.

50. “I have this pretty bad stomach ache... I don’t know from what though.”

“Mm... Could it have something to do with the fact we cooperatively ate two large pizzas together?”

“Couldn’t be.”

51. Fang is hemophobic. Not so much if he himself bleeds, but if Sirus bleeds as much as a paper cut he will literally pass out.

52. They definitely sing in the car together.

🎶“When you say I’m the only one I must admit it!” 🎶

53. Fang sucks ass at games, but Sirus doesn’t mind at all when it comes to him. When it comes to anyone else, however...

54. Fang’s room is freezing cold so they kind of have to snuggle.

55. Homemade dinner is common from Fang. If you go over to have dinner you’re in for something special.

56. Sirus loves Fang’s food. I’d imagine Fang cooks steak one night and Sirus is hesitant until he tries it. He then concludes he only likes Fang’s steak. (Nice.)

57. Pet names galore. They love gushing over eachother like weirdos and never ever leave eachother alone. They’re so dumbly in love.

58. Fang and Sirus making out on Styrix’s couch and Styrix is just like “This is fine.”

59. Fang and Sirus have Styrix over and say something relatively dirty. Styrix is an innocent, good-looking dumbass and just furrows his eyebrows and questions what’s going on. This is hard for everybody.

60. K9 and Fang are talking. K9 briefly mentions his daughter and Sirus just “Wait, how old are you?”

61. Fang is really closeted. Yet is cool with usual PDA and won’t hesitate to stand up for his homosexuality.

62. Soda.

63. Sirus, a 5’3 petite Canadian Lynx absolutely tops and dominates his 6’1 fox boyfriend.

64. Both of them are covered in questionable marks and scars. They both try to hide it.

65. “You’re adorable!” “No! You are!” And then they make out to make a point.

66. Them eating ice-cream together,,,

67. Their relationship is 40% wholesomeness and 50% other kinky dirty shit.

68. Fang’s closet is just full of questionable things he’d rather only Sirus see.

69. They definitely do this.

70. Making out but, like, all the time.

71. Sirus getting a body pillow that smells like Fang in order to cope with his separation anxiety. Chances are he fucks the pillow- So- That must be interesting.

72. Fang comes home and the first thing Sirus does is ask to be fucked. He sighs.

73. You mention something remotely dirty and Sirus gets a boner somehow.

74. Styrix sitting on their couch and doing something on his phone. He just looks up at Sirus and asks, “What’s a ‘handjob’ and why are they so expensive?” And Fang and Sirus just. Die.

75. Styrix just walks in on Sirus getting beat off from Fang and he doesn’t get why they screamed.

76. K9 getting “kicked out” of his house (he lives with his siblings). Fang and Sirus are snuggling in bed late at night and K9 just. Knocks on Fang’s window and scares the hell out of him. And he just begs to stay the night. He sleeps on the couch in the living room but fails to sleep due to questionable noises. He then begs Fang for breakfast because he likes his food. I for some reason feel like he’d bother the fuck out of Sirus because he’s like that and Sirus just chills in Fang’s room, probably snuggling his body pillow and being horny and just trying to ignore the fact someone is using his Xbox. I mean, not that he cares... or does he?

77. Sirus expressing his dislike toward Amy to Fang while Fang tiredly makes himself coffee. Sirus is ranting while eating his spaghetti and Fang chimes in to wipe the bit of marinara sauce on his chin.

78. Fang and Sirus casually listening to music and suddenly Monochrome Romance plays and Fang just “WAIT” and Sirus just morphs into a tomato.

79. “My aunt wants to come over.”

“Does she know you’re gay?”

“Good question.”

“Should we be worried?”

“Maybe if we take her out to dinner she’ll be too focused on the food to care if I’m being pegged.”

80. Sirus’s gallery is just full of pictures he took of Fang without him knowing.

81. I feel, for some reason, Fang and Sirus have each other’s nudes on their phones so they hesitate giving their phones to other people.

82. Styrix calling Sirus and Fang picks up.

“He can’t talk right now-“ All while he’s breathing uneasily.

“What? Why not? Are you okay? Your voice is all shaky.”

Then he just hears the phone drop and Fang “Sirus!” In the background followed by other concerning sounds. Two minutes later Sirus picks up his phone.

“Can we talk later?”

“Why?? I need to talk now-“

Then he just hangs up and Styrix proceeds to annoy him in every way possible,,

83. What even IS Styrix’s size?

84. (Again with the K9 staying over concept) Sirus walks into the dark kitchen to see Fang making something and he’s all like

“Baby, you left bed. What are you doing?”

“I’m making hot chocolate with rainbow marshmallows for K9.”

Sirus squints.

“Isn’t he our age...?”

Fang just looks over at him with bags under his eyes.

“Yes.”

85. K9 is riding in Fang’s car and Sirus is in the passenger seat. K9 leans in toward Fang through the back seat and he just whines, “Faaang, can we pleaaaase get McDonald’s? I’m hungry...”

Fang thinks about it and flicks his eyes over to his boyfriend. He knows Sirus likes fries. He also likes fries.

“Well, that means I don’t have to cook; but you’re paying.”

“That’s fine! Just don’t get something super expensive!”

It was easy to tell K9 was super excited. As they waited in the drive-thru Fang’s fingers curl within Sirus’s. He somewhat shyly looks up at him.

“What do you want?”

K9 at this point knew Fang only pulled into McDonald’s to feed Sirus but who cares when you have McNuggets.

86. “You underestimate my love for steak.” “Fang, I literally didn’t say anything.” “My original statement still stands.”

87. Fang and Sirus run into K9 in public with his daughter. Fang goes up to K9′s daughter and introduces his boyfriend to her.

“Hey, Maple! How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know.” She fumbles around and crosses her arms. “School... Yourself?” She eyes Sirus next to him.

“I’m fine! Have you met my boyfriend? I don’t think you have. This is Sirus. Sirus, this is K9′s daughter. Her name is Mapleleaf.”

He gives Sirus a hearty smooch on the cheek, Maple giving off a funny smile.

“I had no idea you were gay, uncle Fang.”

“Well, neither did I half of high school.”

88. K9 is on an important Zoom call but Fang and Sirus just begin violently fucking behind him and he just picks up his camera and says “Right, I’m moving out of this room.”

89. K9 playing on the Xbox Fang keeps in the living room while Fang sweeps in front of him.

“Could you get out the way? I’m trying to play Skyrim. This is like, the eighth time you cleaned today.”

Fang stares at him with tired, angry eyes.

“Does it matter? You can’t play Skyrim worth shit.”

“... Is that a no, then?”

“I swear there’s this one speck of dust I just can’t get.”

90. Fang and Sirus are lying awake in bed. Sirus is recording the whole ordeal on his phone and it’s easy to see Fang is very annoyed at the fact his friend K9 invited his brother and a friend over- very late at night.

You can clearly hear them talking and laughing loudly and Sirus can’t help but snicker at Fang’s temper very slowly leaving him. Fang finally gets up and starts putting some clothes on.

Sirus turns his head over to the doorway and watches Fang leave. This is the conversation he hears them yelling.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sirus hears in a deep, stern tone that could have the potential to turn him on probably.

There’s a silence until K9 speaks up.

“Oh, I just invited Boris and Amy over...-“

“Do you have any idea of what time it is?”

There’s another silence.

“It is three. In the FUCKING. MORNING. I wake up at five every fucking morning for work. Did I mention it’s Monday? Do you know how long it takes for my fur to dry? An hour. I work hard every fucking week. I work overtime whenever I can to squeeze in every little penny possible. I cook for you, offered you a place to stay because you have the weirdest FUCKING relationship with your siblings, I give you money that- oh yeah, YOU NEED TO PAY BACK. You owe me about one thousand... ten? Dollars now and I expect it. All of it, every penny of it. I do all this for you and you don’t even let me sleep so I can work tomorrow? This ISN’T your house. This is me and my boyfriend’s house. OUR house. You’re just staying in it. I’d personally appreciate if you could let me fucking sleep so I can wake back up, shower, wait an hour just to dry my fucking fur, put on my suit, make breakfast, and whatever the fuck so I can afford a ring and support Sirus and I’s dreams. The LEAST you could do. Is ASK to invite someone over. The LEAST.”

Sirus has his eyes wide in bed and he’s staring at the doorway. He could hear the living room be dead silent for a hot minute, then an unfamiliar female voice shyly rose.

“Do... do you want me to leave?”

“Whatever. Whatever. Make youself at home, Amy, Boris. At three in the morning. Uninvited. Without me or Sirus’s permission.”

Fang walks back into the bedroom, closing the door. He begins to button his shirt back off and his eyebrows immediately soften.

“Are you okay darling...?”

Sirus snorted and laughed into his pillow.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“You- you just... grew soft so fast... I’ve never heard you be so mad...”

“Mm...” Fang slid back into bed next to Sirus, Sirus quickly returns to his place on Fang’s chest. As soon as Sirus considered stopping the recording, K9 walks into their room. Ah, this is gonna be good...

K9 clears his throat.

“Look, sorry for not asking either of you for permisson, but please... come on Fang, even you usually have some decency when it comes to this stuff-“

“This isn’t your house.”

“I’m not finished!”

“I wouldn’t care if it kept me from getting sleep!”

“Oh! So you care about getting sleep, huh?? Well it sure is hard to tell when I lay on your couch every night to... to hear you and Sirus just FUCKING!! Fucking every fucking night! How do you expect ME to sleep when all I can hear is ‘Aahh! Sirus! Deeper, please!’?! If anything, this is payback!”

Fang quietly lipped at Sirus, “Are... are we that loud?”

“I tend not to pay attention.” Sirus said and shrugged, laughing internally at the two’s arguing.

“Oh, so you do it on purpose? Wow! But you come in and scream at me like you’re my mom that you can’t sleep-“

“I work tomorrow. Get the fuck out our room.”

K9 turns and stubbornly slams their door. Fang completely slides himself free of all his clothes and holds Sirus real close.

Sirus began to purr... “A ring...? You’re saving up to marry me?”

Fang put a finger to the lynx’s lips. “Rest love... rest...”

91. Fang eats ice-cream religiously and his freezer is full of nothing else.

92. Fang wearing a variety of gay looking outfits.

93. Wouldn’t it be cute if Fang owned Monstercat merch?

94. It’s canon Fang’s laptop is covered in Monstercat artist stickers.

95. Sirus is blogging through his phone and walking throughout the house just talking. He walks across the living room to a coat closet next to the front door.

“Uhh, yeah. This is our coat closet, and-“ He opens the door to reveal it’s Fang’s storage for his weird, expensive emo boots, chains, belts and whatever else. He steps inside just to circle around.

“I don’t know what the hell he’s doing... I don’t think I’m interested in knowing how much money went into this but some of these I’ve just never seen him wear... look, we have coats, but they’re...” He pushes other clothes like jackets a little farther up the clothes rack to show that the coats here are old and clearly have been forgotten about. “We only have like, two coats in our coat closet. The rest is just shoes and stuff.”

He stops touching things and starts moving out the door.

“So... anyways, he wants to fix this door, because, for some reason? The doorknob is really weird,”

He closes the door to the closet and shows off the doorknob that looks perfectly fine.

“I told him it’s been bothering me because this doorknob looks different from every other doorknob in this house... I don’t know what we’re gonna do about it because neither of us are very ‘handy’...” He turns the camera toward him while he’s running his fingers through his hair. “I think that’s a gay thing. I don’t know. I haven’t met a single homosexual who can fix stuff...”

96. Fang screaming, “Sirus! Sirus! Sirus! Sirus!!!! Look at me!! Look!!” And Sirus tiredly looks up at him to see him holding a roll of toilet paper. He puts it on top of his head.

“I’m Marshmello.”

97. A picture of Fang holding Sirus by the scruff captioned “Capped me one of those Canadian Lynx bfs”

98. Sirus gets the slightest upset with Fang and Fang is on his knees trying to make it up to his tiny boyfriend.

99. Sirus is showing Fang a song in process. Fang hums.

“Ooh, oh wow! That sounds amazing! And when you add the vocals it’ll be even more amazing! Just one thing though... that reverb is way too wet on the master. Why do you even have reverb on the master?”

Sirus looks really confused, and he furrows his eyebrows at Fang.

“... You... can have too much reverb?”

“Way too much. Turn that reverb down and maybe even consider taking it off the master.”

“I need... it on the master...”

“No, you don’t. It sounds way too wet throughout the entire song. That’s not what you want.”

“I like wet.”

Fang sighs.

100. Why is the thought of Sirus having a potentially thick Canadian accent so hot?

101. I’m pretty sure Styrix doesn’t even know his own sexuality. He’s too busy looking in a mirror to care about that.

102. If Sirus did have a Canadian accent, Fang would beg him to just keep talking.

103. (Again with the accent) Sirus is talking on the phone to Styrix. Fang is next to him, doing work on his laptop.

Sirus looks over at Fang.

“Fang, Styrix is wondering if he can come over to our house?”

Fang pauses for a minute. He slowly smiles and looks at Sirus with loving eyes. He begins to to repeat him.

“‘House’ huh?” Fang said, mimicking Sirus’s accent.

“Oh my god, not this again. House.”

“‘House’.~”

“... House!”

“‘House’.”

“Can he come over or not?!”

“Sure thing, cutie.”

Now Sirus is angy.

104. Neither of them have self-control. I know for a fact Fang won’t hesitate to suddenly and randomly hug Sirus just so he could start feeling around his body. Best thing? Sirus won’t be able to do anything about it. Fang’s got a tight grip on him and now he can play with Sirus’s body as much as he wants.

... Same with Sirus. Sirus may be small but he can still make dirty remarks and fondle with Fang’s crotch- sitting on it, taking off his shirt, any of that.

To be fair just Sirus talking turns Fang on, so. Nice.

105. Fang is snuggling Sirus in bed. He starts to feel him a little bit, Sirus whining.

“Is that poke I feel you?” Fang chuckles, sliding his hand down Sirus’s pants.

“Shame.~”

106. Sirus fake moans just for shits and giggles. In response, Fang pins him down and dares him to do it again.

107. Fang threatens to beat Sirus up for jokes. He takes off his belt and immediately Sirus starts blushing when he’s trying to escape getting hit.

108. Sirus wakes up early to feel a tender, warm rubbing at his crotch along with something a little heavy resting on his leg.

“Sleep well, little lynx?” Fang whispers in a bass-y tone, kissing his cheek. Sirus mumbles.

“What time is it?... What are you doing?...”

“Just thought I’d help you wake up a little bit, kitty.”

“... Why are you so horny...” Sirus squeaks, moving around a little bit.

“Mmh... woke up this way... like the way that feels, sugarplum?~”

Sirus sighed longingly. “Ghh... yeah...”

109. Fang is groping at Sirus’s ass softly on the couch, holding him tight.

“Hey kitty... you’re all mine, aren’t you?”

“Mhm...” Sirus groans, his face snuggled into the fox’s chest.

“All mine... nobody else’s... my lynx... right?~”

“Yes, darlin’... I am... ghh...”

He spanks Sirus softly and listens to him hiss in pain. He rubs the spot gently. Sirus moans.

“I-I am all yours, daddy! I am!”

110. Sirus looking rabid with a chicken leg in his mouth.

111. “Imagine having dead parents, couldn’t be me.” Fang says as Sirus stares at him and watches his eyes tear up.

112. Sirus is being pouty.

“I’m not cute!”

Fang pushes him right up against the wall and smooshes their lips together, making out with him passionately. He pulls back to Sirus blushing and says,

“Yes you are.”

113. Fang is snuggling with Sirus.

“Are you purring?” Fang leans into the lynx, listening to his body and feeling the vibrations.

“... Y... Yes...?”

Fang melts and covers him in kisses. He absolutely LOVES it when his baby purrs.

114. Fang is wearing a blue polo with small, colorful geometric shapes on it. You know, casual clothing.

Sirus squints at him.

“What is your obsession with looking like a bus seat?”

115. Fang fucking Sirus so raw that Sirus can’t move for like, a week.

#furry #fursonas #fursona #oc #ocs #boyfriend #gay #lgbtq #lgbt #homosexual #furries #canons #headcanons #headcanon #concept #concepts #idea #ideas #mxm #fox #lynx #list

19 notes · View notes

plugloveff · 4 years

Text

Chapter 4

Meek:

“So what do you think of my offer ?” Carter asked taking a sip of his scotch.

Staring into my glass, I let what he said sink in.

“Offer expires in 10 seconds” Carter stated.

"It sound's good but I still have to talk to my team" I replied.

“Your the head man right? You make the decisions and they are either on board or not” Carter stated.

“Ight deal” I said.

Carter smiled and extended his hand for me to shake. "One thing, Chanel doesn't need to know about this".

“Why?“

“She just doesn’t need to know the details of our business. And I’m sure she doesn’t know the amount of bodies you have on your resume or the play by play of what you do on a daily” He stated.

Nodding my head in agreement I took a sip of my drink. “So, how did this meeting go? I tell her what exactly?" I asked.

"The meeting went well and I gave you my blessing. That's all she needs to know" he said finishing his drink.

Waving over the bartender he reached for his Wallet.

“I got it” I said reaching into my pocket.

Carter stopped me, "My business deal I pay" he said pulling two hundred dollar bills off his money clip and tossing them on the counter.

"I'll be in touch Ahmeek" he said before walking out.

Tossing the rest of my drink back I pulled my phone out and sent a text to Dre and Wayne to meet me at the warehouse for a meeting.

Walking out of the restaurant I handed the valet my ticket. Taking in my surroundings I thought about the conversation I had with Carter. I was still trying to wrap my head around it.

Seeing my Range Rover come into view I slid behind the wheel. The music was blasting from my custom speakers as I sped off into the Miami night, it was time to talk money.

_________

"You dead ass right now?” Wayne asked.

“Yeah” I replied taking a hit of my blunt.

“Damn that’s a good deal” Dre replied.

Nodding in agreement, I thought of all the money that could be made during his deal. We were rich but this would take us to a whole new level.

“I’m sure Chanel is going to be happy to know you and her father are getting along” Wayne said.

Blowing the smoke out my mouth I shook my head. "She can't know about the deal"

"Wait what? How you expect to keep this from her ?” Dre asked.

"Nothing's changed she doesn't know about the day to day operations. I'm just the same ole street nigga "

"Ight bro ” Wayne said.

“Don’t go running your mouth’s to Steph and Aria either. This shit don’t leave this fucking table” I stated.

Wayne and Dre nodded in understanding.

Feeling my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw Chanel’s name flash on the screen. Speak of the devil.

Chanel : Are you still with my dad? How is it going?

Meek: Nah, I'm on my way back now.

“Ight I’m bouta head out I’ll let y'all know when I hear something” I said getting up from the table and dapping them both.

“Aight Brodie stay up” Wayne said.

Exactly twenty minutes later I was stepping off Chanel’s elevator. The condo was dark the only light coming from the Miami skin line peeking through the windows.

I could hear the sound of music coming from Chanel’s bedroom. Kicking off my shoes I dropped my keys on the counter and followed the sound into her bedroom.

When I walked in my breathe caught in my throat. Chanel was spread across her bed in a red lace baby doll that didn’t leave much for the imagination. I could feel the blood rush to my dick seeing how the red material clung to her caramel skin.

“Hi” she said looking up from her phone.

“Hi Mama” I said.

“Come here” she said sitting up on her heels. Giving a better view of the Lacey number.

Walking over to her my eyes raked over her body. When I was inches away from her she sat up on her knees so she was almost eye level with me.

“I missed you” she said. I could smell the wine on her breath, she was intoxicated.

“I missed you to baby girl” I said running his hand down her cheek.

“How did it go with my dad?" she asked.

"Nah, we not about to talk about your dad, when you looking like this" I said licking my lips.

"But baby, I've been up all night thinking about what happened. You can't not tell me" she said.

“Shhhh, we'll talk about it later" I said.

Wrapping my hand around the back of her neck I pulled her into me crashing my lips against her's. My tongue slipped into her mouth, she moaned against my lips and I grabbed a handful of her ass pulling her into me. Her hands slid down my body till she got to my dick. She gripped me through my pants. Groaning I pulled back from her. “Take it off” I ordered taking off my clothes.

Chanel quickly threw the baby doll over her head and tossed it onto the floor.

Placing one knee on the bed I climbed on top of her. My dick stood at attention pressing against her center. I could feel her wetness on my dick. I trailed kisses down her neck to her D cup breast. Cupping one in my hand I wrapped my mouth around it sucking hard, drawing circles around her nipple with my tongue.

Chanel’s back arched in pleasure. "Meek please” she moaned.

Smirking I took her other breast into my mouth. I wanted her so badly but I couldn’t give on breast attention without giving some to the other.

“Meeeek” Chanel moaned.

Having teased her enough I released her breast from my mouth. Nestling in the crook of her neck I guided my dick inside of her.

Chanel’s back arched and she gasped as I filled her. I hissed feeling her wrap around me. Fuck I missed this.

Pumping in and out of her slowly, I could feel her wetness dripping down my balls.

“Fuck baby” I hissed.

“Harder baby” Chanel moaned into my ear.

Lifting her legs slightly I pumped in and out of her faster. Chanel’s nails dug into my back and I knew I'd have bruises in the morning, but I didn’t care. Sucking on her neck marking my territory, she was mine all mine.

“God Meek I’m about to cum” Chanel screamed.

“Cum for me” I whispered in her ear. On command I felt Chanel’s grip on my dick tighten. Her legs locked around my waist, her back arching further off the bed as she came.

Gritting my teeth I felt the swell of my balls, I was close. I pumped in and out of her faster. There was nothing gentle about it I was claiming every inch of her pussy. It was mine.

“Oh shit” I groaned spilling my seeds inside her.

When I was done I collapsed on top of her. Both of us trying to catch our breaths. Wrapping my arm around her waist I pulled her into my chest and drifted off to sleep.

Chanel:

Gripping my pillow I yawned and opened my eyes. Meek's side of the bed was empty and from the feel of it he'd been gone for a while. Sitting up in the mattress I looked around my room and noticed a small piece of paper on my nightstand. Grabbing it I read the note:

I left you breakfast in the microwave. There’s some money on the dresser go buy yourself something nice to wear because I’m taking you out tonight. I’ll see you later beautiful. - M

Smiling at the note I threw the cover's off my body and grabbed my phone. Walking into the bathroom I sent a message to Cassidy to see if she was up for a shopping trip. And started to get ready.

Thirty minutes later I was dressed in denim shorts, a Dior t-shirt and matching Dior sneaker’s. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail and my makeup was light.

Walking into the kitchen I warmed up my food, waiting for Cassidy to pick me up.

When I saw the French toast, bacon and eggs in the plate I smiled. Meek always paid close attention to things that I liked. I was just digging into my food when my phone rang in my back pocket.

“Hey Ari” I said putting my phone on speaker.

“Wassup? What you doing today I’m bored” Aria asked

“Going shopping with Cass you wanna come?” I asked

“Yes, what time y'all going?“

"I’m waiting on her now should be here in like 45"

"Alright I’ll meet y'all there. I’ll ask Steph if she want’s to come"

"Cool, I’ll see you in a few than” I said.

I just finished my food when I got a text from Cassidy that she was downstairs.

Running my room I grabbed my bag and stuffed the thirty-thousand dollar’s Meek left in my purse along with my sunglasses I left.

Cassidy:

Scrolling though my instagram I waited for Chanel to come downstairs. Double tapping on a few pictures I nodded my head to the beat of the music blaring through the speakers of my G-Wagon.

A gentle tap on my window, grabbed my attention. When I saw Chanel I quickly unlocked the door.

“Took you long enough” I said.

“I didn't even take ten minutes ” Chanel replied

Shaking my head I pulled away from the curb.

"Are you looking for something in particular today or we just blowing a bag?" I asked.

“I don’t know Meek just told me we're going out tonight, he wasn’t specific so probably a dress or maybe a jumpsuit” Chanel replied.

"So it's a date"

"Yeah"

"So how did thing's go with dad?" I asked.

"Well I didn't go to dinner so he, was at my apartment when I got home and we argued for a little then he told me he wanted to meet Meek. When I told Meek he told me to set up the meeting but he didn't want me to be there. He wasn't told me exactly what went down he just said Dad gave his blessing" she said.

"Wait he what?" I asked

"He gave his blessing, I even called dad to make sure and he said yeah he likes Meek. I don't know what the fuck happened and Meek refuses to tell me. But I guess it's all good. Thats one less problem for me to worry about" she said.

"Wow" I said trying to wrap my head around it. My father and I didn't have the best relationship and it was mostly because he was so controlling. He was a man of power and he abused it, which was something I couldn't deal with. I hated being controlled which is probably why I found a yes man to be in a relationship with.

"Alright enough about me and my life. Tell me about your vacation" Chanel said snapping me from my thoughts.

"Bora Bora was amazing" I said thinking back on my trip, it was beautiful but I couldn't help but think about how unhappy I am with Chris.

"I'm sensing a but here" Chanel said.

Biting my lip, I kept my eyes trained on the road. I didn't have the heart to look at Chanel because she'd see right through me she always could.

"Nothing" I said

"Cassidy, don't lie to me I'm your big sister and I'm here for you no matter what. Anything you need and i'm here" Chanel said.

"I know Coco, I'm just not ready to talk about it" I said.

"Well I'm here when you do" she said.

"Thanks" I said pulling into a parking spot at the front of the mall.

"Neiman's first?"

"Ofcourse" I said hopping out of my truck.

Sliding down my sunglasses, I walked into the mall with Chanel following close behind me.

Three hours later I was leaned up against the cash register, while Chanel paid for her stuff. When Chanel pulled out a stack of money from her purse my eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Since when do you carry cash? And in rubber bands?" I asked watching her count the money.

"I don't, Meek left me money this morning" she replied handing the cashier 7,000 dollars.

Cassidy leaned against the cash register as Chanel paid for her stuff. They were on hour four of shopping and this was probably their seventh store.

“That’s sweet. When am I going to meet Mr. Meek anyway?” I asked as we walked towards Steph and Aria.

“I don’t know, soon hopefully” Chanel replied.

“Good I have to make sure my sister is in good hands” I said.

“Oh she’s def in good hands” a male voice said.

Turning around to find who the voice belonged too, I assumed it was Meek from the huge grin on Chanel's face. Taking in him I mentally applauded my sister, Meek was a huge upgrade from Robert's bum ass and the smile that was plastered on her face and he way his eyes lit up looking at her I could see they loved each other.

“What are you doing here? And how the hell did you find me?” Chanel asked pulling away from him.

He smirked “I can’t give up my sources” he said.

Chanel looked over her shoulder at Steph “You told him didn’t you?” Chanel asked.

“Nah, I told Wayne ass where we were. Where is he anyway? ” Steph asked.

"They waiting for me at the jeweler, but I had to swing by and see my shawty real quick" Meek said wrapping his arm around Chanel's waist.

Chanel beamed up at him in response. “Oh, Meek this is my little sister Cassidy. Cass, this is Meek” Chanel said introducing us.

“Wassup lil sis” he said letting go of Chanel and pulling me in for a hug.

“Lil sis huh ?” I asked playfully.

“Yeah you family, cause lord know’s I ain’t ever letting this one go” he said looking down at Chanel and she blushed in response.

I smiled and nodded my head in approval “I like him” I said.

“You ready to be out baby girl or you still got some stores you wanna hit up?” Meek asked.

“We have like three more stores” Aria answered.

“Aight, you drove?” Meek asked Chanel.

“Nah I came with Cass"

"Aight I gotta finish up at the Jewelry store a couple blocks away. Text me when you done. You need more money?” he asked her.

“No I still have like 15 from what you gave me” she replied.

Meek reached in his pocket and pulled out a stack of money. “Here’s another 10” he said handing it to her.

“Meek I’m good” she said.

“Chanel take it” he said.

"Ahmeek seriously I'm good"

"Coco, it's my treat take the money"

Before Chanel could protest again I took the money out of his hand.

Meek smirked, "There's 5 in there for you little sis. Enjoy" he said taking the shopping bags out of Chanel's hands.

"See I really like you now" I said stuffing the money in my purse.

"Later baby" Chanel said stepping on her tippy toes and kissing Meek.

"Umm, don't take all day I got plans for you Ms. Wright"

"Y'all so nasty" I said grabbing Chanel's hand pulling her away from a laughing Meek.

Chanel:

“Where are you taking me?” I asked Meek. My eyes were blindfolded and he was holding my hand guiding me. I could see the ocean but I honestly had no clue where we were.

“You’ll see in about 30 seconds” he said.

We walked for another 20 steps before he stopped. “Can I take this off now?” I asked.

“No. I’m going to pick you up" he said

"Ok” I said feeling Meek scoop me up in his arms. I felt us sway and I clung to him, "you better not drop me" I said.

Meek chuckled, "I’m not”

We climbed up a few steps before he stopped. He placed me on my feet.

“Ok, I’m going to take it off now” he said

“Finally” I said impatiently. Meek gently removed the blindfold from my eyes. I gasped when I saw where we were. We were in the middle of a yacht on the harbor, there were red and white rose petals leading to a candle lit dinner.

I felt like I was in a movie this time of thing only happened in movies. It didn't feel real men didn't do this in real life. Not where I was from, but here I was with this perfect man who did shit like this out of fairy tales. I was in complete awe, and I was fighting back tears.

“Do you like it?” Meek asked.

“Baby I love it thank you” I said kissing him.

“Come on let’s eat, we’re about to set sail in a few” Meek said taking my hand and leading me to the table. Pulling out a chair for me, I took a seat and Meek sat across from me. Just as the captain signaled that we were pulling away from the dock.

“This is beautiful” I said.

“I agree” Meek said.

Looking over at him, he was staring at me instead. I smiled but before I could say anything a waiter appeared with two trays.

"Herb-roasted Lobster and Steak” he said placing the food in front of Meek.

“Garlic butter Lobster and Shrimp with garlic mash potatoes” he said placing a dish in front of me.

“Thank you” Il said as the waiter poured wine into our glasses before disappearing.

“Ahmeek, this is amazing, thank you” I said

“Nah, ma you deserve this. I realized I never took you on an official date and I had to make up for us being together for two months and never taking you out. Plus you deserve the world and I plan on spending my entire life spoiling you" he said.

I bit my lip trying to stop the tears from falling.

“Eat up” Meek said smiling and taking a bite of his Steak.

_______

“You really outdid yourself for a first date” I said leaning against his chest.

“It’s only going to get better from here” Meek said

“Always one to try and out do yourself"

"Yeah I gotta stay on top of my game so you don’t leave me”

“I’m not going anywhere"

"Good, because I love you too much to let you go” Meek said.

My body stilled against his and my heart raced. "You what?" I asked making sure I heard him correctly.

Meek turned me to face him. "You've changed me ma, you got a nigga feeling stuff that I've never felt before. I'd do anything or you, your'e my whole heart man, you got me doing all this emotional ass shit that's not me but for you I'd do it all. So I need you to hear me and understand me when I say I love you. I know it's only been two months, but you have me wrapped around you finger. I'm all in with you I want it all, I'd go to war with the world for you. We locked in forever 25 to life" he said.

I didn't fight the tears anymore, I couldn't. “I love you too” I replied kissing him.

#pluglove #plugloveff #jordyn woods #jordynwoodsff #donnell blaylock #taina williams #jaydawayda #dababy #Roddy Ricch #saweetie #omari hardwick #fanfic #fan fic blog #Hood Love #love story

8 notes · View notes

judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

Text

Dancing lessons

Barry Berkman x reader

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, guns, cheating maybe.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 2

One week after the first time Barry meet Y/N he was nowhere near learning tango, let alone dancing on the level his stupid resume said he could, he only have ended with horrible pain on his knees, thighs and back. And he hasn't even practice dancing with music yet, apparently his instructor thought he first had to learn one basic step and repeat it a million times before he could start doing the "flashy and presumptuous" step, as she called them, that the director may want.

"You really don't have to worry" Sally said during breakfast, they have an agreement to spend the night at least twice a week in each other apartment but he could tell she rather if he stayed at hers since Jermaine and Nick didn't get along with her. "That girl you say is dancing with you, I just heard from Lindsay that she is totally sleeping with the director so probably the scene is an excuse to show her dancing talent and they will be focusing on her instead of you" She drank the rest of her orange juice and stood up quickly "God is so late" she checked her phone and gave him a kiss on the cheek before taking her purse and keys and rush to the door "I'll see you tonight ok? Good luck!"

"Bye, I love..." And then she was gone. "You" He finished his breakfast and took his own car to the studio where he had to finish filming his scenes.

"Barry you're here, excellent!" Andre said when he arrived, thankfully he was not the star of the film and he didn't have to listen the hundred of notes he had for the leads nor taking all the shit the PAs get from him. "Look" He said pointing at his tablet "Janice is on New York for three more weeks for a Ballet presentation, but she sent this to me, is the perfect choreography for the scene. What do you think?" He showed her a clip of Janice and some professional dancer with a song he didn't knew, probably in Spanish or Italian, dancing incredibly close, with several lifts and spins.

"Great" He said feeling dizzy "Flashy and presumptuous" He add really low.

"What was that?"

"Classy and marvelous, is a modern take on the Argentine style isn't?" He said repeating what Y/N had said to him the day before.

"I have no idea, but hey you are the expert" He gave him a pat on the back. "You can start rehearsing with Janice when she gets back" He didn't like that kind of touching, it reminded him of Fuches and make him feel uneasy.

"Sure, great, hey could you send me that video, you know to study her movements" he tried to sound casual and not frightened as he was.

"Yeah sure" he said and with a hand gesture urged him to move to the set where he got to start shooting.

The minute he was over he drove back to Y/N's studio and saw her giving her class to young girls all dressed as ballerinas, she was wearing a black seetrough dancing skirt over a leotard, and his eyes lingered on her legs a few seconds more than he should mesmerized as he was by the elegance she used to dance.

"Barry you are early" She saluted him with a smile, "Girls say hi to Mr. Block" she said at the mass of pink and white.

"Hi Mr. Block" They cheered.

"I'll be done in a few minutes but this really is a private rehearsal" She pat her lips with one finger thinking "Would you mind waiting upstairs? I mean I would hate for you to drive back home to come back in less than an hour, and the coffee place on this block sucks" She said and the girls start laughing "Don't tell your mothers" She quickly add.

"I don't want to be a burden"

"Oh nonsense, you are not, go upstairs, I have food on the fridge but I wouldn't recommend it since you are dancing later and the WiFi password is written next to the phone" She insisted and he finally accept.

The apartment was just a little bigger than the one he rented with Jermaine and had a nice walls on a blue shade that reminded him of the ocean. And a big window facing directly to the door, so the first thing you see when you entered were the rooftop of other buildings and the hills in the back.

He entered feeling himself as an intruder, but being honest that was a common feeling for him, even if he haven't break in any place in over a year, a very long year, and again the pain of thinking of Fuches maybe lurking around strike him in the chest.

He found a place to sit and after being 5 minutes in complete silence trying to not be alone with his thoughts he took out his laptop to watch the dance again. Next to the landline was a nice picture of Y/N on his wedding dress next to a man that must be her husband with golden letters and numbers written over: JPTLV150813.

Once he was connected he allow himself to look around, the living room was tastefully decorated and there were some framed paintings of wild flowers on the wall in purples and pinks. He glance at their dinner table in the other room next to her kitchen, and while he was still holding he picture his mind start wandering, maybe Sally would like to live with him in a place like that. Full of light and peaceful.

He picture himself waking every morning and walking towards the kitchen to make her breakfast, she getting out of the set exhausted, to get a glass of wine in the living room. Reading lines together in the couch, and falling asleep there watching a movie.

And then since he hadn't sleep wery well and Y/N couch was madly comfortable he fall asleep still holding the picture and suddenly Sally's face start fading away, and Y/N replaced her, in a blue version of the clothes she was wearing earlier, he saw himself dancing with her on the living room, a slow and romantic rhythm, and instead of her husband it was him smiling on the picture next to the phone. She would come upstairs tired from work and he would stop her at the door to give her a passionate kiss... then the sound of a gun going off came from the window and a blood stain start forming in her chest running and she collapsing on his arms, and then it was Sally lifeless body again who he was holding and she whispered before losing her breath You did this and fearful he looked at his own hand holding the gun...

"Barry?" Y/N's voice came from the door, and immediately woke up and shake those horrifying ideas from his mind.

"Here" He call from the couch and was careful enough to not look back and don't picture her covered in blood

"I'm so done, boy I'm glad you came upstairs, Amanda's mother is a pain in the ass, if she have seen you she would have called the cops or something" She said and sit in next of him, she was already wearing the heels she used to practice with him. "What you got there?" She said looking at the screen where the video of Janice was still on.

"Is the dance I'm supposed to do for the movie" He said glad to have something to said and he showed her the clip.

"Well... you are screwed" She said after it was finish and he gave her an imploring look. "I'm kidding, I mean is a monstrosity of showing off, and her technique is not perfect, but I'm pretty sure you can put together something, like Ed Sheeran on Thinking out loud". She said confidently.

"Who?" He asked with no idea of what she meant.

"He is a British singer, we are probably too old to know him, but couples come all the time trying to learn his routine for their wedding" She said, but his face was still puzzled "You are not very familiar with pop culture, for an actor living in L.A. I mean" She stood up and walked towards her kitchen "Do you want anything? I have wine, beer, orange juice?" She called from the other room.

"Beer is fine, and is because I only became an actor recently" He said with some embarrassment in his voice taking the bottleshe offered him "I used to amm... sell auto parts in Cleveland"

"Ohio, that's ... far" she said taking a sip of her drink.

"And before that I was a Marine" He add and she almost spit her beer but did her best to pass it down.

"Oh wow, that's unusual. I would definitely say thank you for your service, but I'm antiwar so what if I gave you a 10 percent off on the lessons and we call it even?" She grin at him

"Don't worry about that, I don't like to make a big deal about it anyway" He said sincerely "Also I'm pretty sure you are wasting your time with me"

"Don't be so harsh on yourself, here look" She took the laptop off his hands and found a video of a ginger man singing a cheezy song about eternal love "See he is not properly dancing, but he act like he is, so first you have to learn how to lead, come on take off your shoes"

"Take them off? Why?" He asked while she got rid off her heels and let her bare feet touch the wooden floor.

"Because, and I mean this with respect" She said standing and looking for a record to put in her old record player until she found one "You are huge, and I'm afraid you would step on me with those shoes" a slow rhythm start playing and he did what she asked and stood barefoot in front of her.

"That doesn't sound like the other songs" Although he like it.

"Because you have to learn to walk before you can run, now, put both of your hands on my hips" She said getting closer to him.

"Like this?" It was funny how without the heels she was way shorter and couldn't completely reach her neck so she settled for put both hands on his shoulders.

"Fine now listen to the music and move" She said moving her body rhythmically "There you go, now move me, lead, right or left, is your choice" She said letting him take small steps and occasionally looking down to watch his feet.

"This is not that bad actually" Barry was actually enjoying himself, then the music start going faster and she took his right hand on hers and pull away from him and he chose to ignore the feeling of lost that caused him.

"Now, the hand on my back has to be steady, and lead, we can spin" She said and taught him how "Or we can walk" She started walking back slowly letting him follow the steps at his own pace. "Is all about who is leading" She gave him a smile and they kept dancing until the music was ending and since he had confidence now he make her spin and catch her on his arm like Janice's partner did on the clip.

"Sorry I always wanted to try that" he said once she was standing next to him.

"It was great, you are getting it, now we can try to improve your actual steps, but we should go downstairs, my husband is about to comeback and he hates having music on when he is working" She put on her shoes again and walked out followed by Barry.

62 notes · View notes

let-it-raines · 5 years

Text

Not Your (soul)Mate {12/16}

Killian Jones doesn’t like the idea of soulmates. He sees how happy his friends are with theirs, but he still doesn’t like the idea, not when he’s found love and lost it time and time again only to still not know his sign. He has no markings on his skin, no voices in his head, but then one day he meets Emma Swan and everything changes. Because, well, he may not have ink on his skin to tell him who to love, but the very first time that he hears Emma’s voice he knows that she’s the one for him. Then again, that could simply be his desire talking. After all, for every word she speaks, he becomes aroused.

It’s not the worst thing in the world to be incredibly attracted to a beautiful woman, but things aren’t that simple when she doesn’t have any interest in being his soulmate.

He’s screwed. And not in the good way.

Rating: Mature

A/N: As always, thanks to @captainsjedi for all of the time and effort she put into making all of the wonderful artwork for this story! It’s the coolest thing to get to have❤️ And thank you to the organizers of @cssns!

Also, look! I add a chapter! You guys now get an epilogue! Woohoo!

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

Tag list: @snowbellewells @karenfrommisthaven @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @emmas-storybook @searchingwardrobes @spartanguard @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @xellewoods @thejollyroger-writer @galaxyzxstark @cssns

-/-

Killian: But categorically, you cannot tell me that cold pizza is better than fresh out of the oven pizza.

Emma: Ugh. I’m not saying that. I’m saying that if you get nasty delivery pizza, it’s just as good cold as it is warm.

Emma: If you’re getting wood fired pizza, obviously you eat that shit warm.

Killian: ‘Eat that shit warm’ is not a sentence I ever wanted to read.

Emma: Don’t make it gross.

Killian: It’s too late for that.

Emma: I seriously want Ariel to get a pizza oven in her house because I have to put on a bra to go to Eric’s restaurant.

Killian: I mean, I wouldn’t complain if you didn’t.

Emma: Again, don’t make it gross.

“Are you texting your boyfriend again?”

Emma jumps in her office chair, her phone tumbling out of her hands and onto her desk, bouncing around until it lands on top of her computer’s keyboard, jamming down on several keys all at once like a toddler that just got one of those toys that make too much noise when you press a button. That’s not going to mess the database she was going through up or anything. They finally got the funding to computerize their files, so she spends all of her days doing just that. She’s really regretting putting in that request right about now. She won’t in a few weeks, but she does now.

(At least they didn’t have to make a calendar or do a bake sale. She really doesn’t need to see a picture of David wearing, like, a “Kiss the Cook” apron and nothing else just to raise a little money.)

She also regrets tossing her phone in the air and how quickly her heart is beating. David’s going to see the nerves all over her face, going to see how frazzled she is, and he’ll see right through it. Hell, he pretty much already does. At least he’s a hell of a lot more chill than Mary Margaret.

Not like that’s hard.

(What, like it’s hard? Elle Woods for the win, always.)

Last night she was eating dinner with them at the farmhouse, and for approximately three seconds she looked down at a text on her phone and apparently smiled. She’s sure it was nothing more than a slight curve of her lips, a whisper of happiness, but Mary Margaret practically threw her fork across the table (which is a great way to stab someone in the eye) and demanded to know who she was talking to.

It was Killian. It always seems to be Killian.

She’s not sure how she feels about that even if she’s admitted to herself that she kind of (definitely, really, truly) likes him. It’s a very odd feeling that makes her soul feel like it’s not connected to her body.

She told Mary Margaret that it was Ariel complaining about how much it sucks to be eight months pregnant in the summer heat. The fact that Mary Margaret didn’t call Ariel right then and there and offer up every bit of advice was a miracle. Honestly, looking back, Emma knows that she should have said that she was talking to Ruby about a date that she has. Mary Margaret rarely asks for more details on Ruby’s dates than what Ruby offers up, not that the girl leaves a lot to be desired. It’s one of her best and worst qualities all at once.

But Mary Margaret believed her and got carried away talking about the joys and sorrows of motherhood, and if it weren’t for David, she would have gotten away with her lie unnoticed.

She feels like a freaking Scooby Doo villain thinking something like that.

If only she had a creepy mask to take off too.

Or maybe not. That could be weird. No, definitely weird.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, and you know it,” she says as calmly as she can, reaching forward and grabbing her phone only to look up at David and the smirk that’s plastered on his face with his hands behind his back. “What’s with the creepy look you’ve got going on there?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re a horrible liar.”

“So are you.” He moves his hands from behind his back to reveal a small vase full of yellow roses and whatever that white filler flower is. It’s some weird name like breath of a baby or baby’s breath because that’s totally what a flower should be called. “Because I don’t know about you, but I don’t send baskets of baked goods and flowers to my friends.”

She’s definitely going to kill Killian. The word is in his name, so it’s basically fate.

Murder should not be where her mind goes.

That is probably not the reaction most people have when they’re sent flowers by the man they may possibly have some major feelings for, but she is not most people. She thinks of murder when she should be thinking of...romance? Is that the word she’s looking for? Do these flowers signal romance?

It’s all confusing. Seriously. She has no idea what’s going on. She has no idea if there should be feelings of romance or murder or even friendship.

Okay, friendship seems like the best option. Murder seems like the worst.

“Those probably aren’t for me,” she lies, knowing that it’s a horrible one, especially since David already knows who sent them.

David rolls his eyes before placing them on her desk. “Your name is on the note.”

She glances toward the flowers and at the note, Killian’s handwriting largely penned across the envelope, before she looks up at David, nerves working their way down her arms. Which, technically thinking, that’s how nerves work, but she was never really very good at biology.

“Did you read it?”

“I can be an ass, but I’m not going to read the closed note that your not-boyfriend sent you.” David shrugs his shoulders and sits down in his desk chair, rolling it up underneath the desk. “And I’m not as nosy as my wife.”

“Which is why I can spend so much time with you.”

“You have to spend time with me. Did you notice that we’re missing the hard copies of the files for the Anderson case from two years ago?”

“Yep. I’ve already emailed the records office at City Hall to see if they have anything. I don’t know why it would be there, but it always could be.”

“If this town ever had serious crime, we would be screwed.”

“Hey no, I kick ass. We could totally work that thing out.”

“You’d intimidate everyone until they confessed.”

“I am a very intimidating woman.”

“Who receives flowers from men who are pining after her.”

She huffs, not wanting to even respond to that, but she grabs her empty to-go cup from her coffee this morning and throws it at David, hitting him in the back of the head. He doesn’t even acknowledge it, letting the paper fall to the ground and clatter against the tile floor all while he hums to himself a theme song that she recognizes from one of Leo’s shows…which means she’s heard that theme song far too many times since it’s not her kid.

Seriously.

And Killian Jones is not pining after her. Definitely not.

(David knows far too much, but at least he doesn’t know that Killian is her soulmate.)

They fall back into work after that since they are technically supposed to be competent professionals in a very loose sense of the word, and she tries not to look at the vase of flowers on her desk for the next few hours, telling herself that it’s not a big deal and she absolutely will not read the note until she’s finished getting through this section of files. She will do her job first…whatever it is with Killian can come second.

Surprisingly, working on her computer keeps her busy until her shift is over, and since it’s Friday, she picks up her vase of flowers and holds them in her lap as she drives home, hoping that there’s not pollen or anything to get onto her shirt since she knows from experience that it’s hard to get out. Plus, she really likes this shirt. And it’s not until after she’s changed out of it and into some shorts and a t-shirt that she remembers to check her phone and the note that came with the flowers.

The note with the flowers comes first. Priorities and all that.

Swan,

So I couldn’t decide between sunflowers and yellow roses. And before you get any ideas as to why I’ve sent you flowers (besides the fact that I imagine whoever delivers them to you will tease the hell out of you. I’m hoping for Dave.), just know that Luis and Luca made me buy a voucher booklet from their school, and the one to the floral shop was about to expire. So it was either you or Will, and Will isn’t quite as pretty as you are.

I hope they bring a little extra sunshine to your day.

Killian

She pulls out her phone and sends of a quick text, unable to stop the small smile that’s formed on her face. Unable to want to stop it, really, as she falls back against the couch, her legs hanging over the end.

Emma: I’m glad you used your flower shop voucher on me.

Killian: Yeah, well, like I said, the other option was Will.

Emma: If he comes over tonight, I’ll tell him they’re for him.

Killian: They viewing apartments still?

Emma: Yep.

Emma: I have ‘All By Myself’ playing on repeat.

Killian: That’s very fitting.

Emma: I thought so. Any fun plans for you tonight?

Killian: I am wrapping all of the gifts for tomorrow and then going to sleep early to celebrate the near end of summer and my mildly busy season.

Emma: You are the life of the party.

Killian: Just wait until the baby shower tomorrow. I’m going to crush all of those awful games. No one can change a diaper as fast as I can.

Emma: Is that on your resume?

Killian: Yep. Liam is a bloody stickler of a boss. The skills we have to have here are insane.

Emma: I thought you were co-owners? I don’t think of Killian Jones of ever being anything other than a boss.

Killian: I have that commanding of a presence, do I?

Emma: Well, your ego does demand a lot of the space in the room.

Killian: Luckily for you, I’m happy to share the space so your ego can have a little room to breathe as well.

-/-

When she wakes up the next morning, it’s to the sound of movement in Belle’s bedroom, and she instinctively pulls her pillow over her face. Maybe it’s to cover her ears. Maybe it’s to smother herself over the sounds that she’s hearing in the next room. Who knows? She certainly doesn’t. And as sad as she is to be losing Belle as a roommate whenever she and Will find a place of their own, she is certainly not going to miss the muted sounds of Will’s dirty talk.

Seriously.

A woman can only take so much.

(Belle can apparently take a lot. She keeps asking for more.)

Instead of suffering in silent misery, she gets up out of bed and slips into a pair of sandals, figuring she can go check her mail just to get out of the apartment while Belle and Will finish. She and Killian have mostly been texting over the last few weeks, their conversations going deep into the night and throughout the day, but they’re also still sending letters. It’s a weird thing, she knows, and every internal instinct that she has is telling her to burn the letters and run, but something keeps her from setting it all aflame.

Someone.

She’s lost her mind. She really has. Killian is…he’s Killian. He’s a nice, handsome guy who makes her laugh and causes the bricks weighing down her shoulders to lift one by one until she’s not feeling quite so weighed down anymore. He’s her – they match up well, and she still doesn’t know how to feel about that. She knows how she feels about him, she knows that she likes him, that she enjoys talking to him in the limited way that they can, but then, in the back of her mind that demon comes out and whispers in her ear that he only likes her because they’re soulmates, that the knowledge is tainting their...relationship thing.

That’s been one of her worst fears ever since she found it.

Because what if she falls in love and he doesn’t? What if they break up? What if it doesn’t work out? What does she do then? What happens if the one person she’s supposed to be with forever doesn’t want to be with her? Is she supposed to then live out the rest of her life as the poor girl who was too broken for even the universe to help out?

The ‘what ifs’ kill her.

Not really. She’s obviously still alive and breathing and all that fun jazz, but they still keep her up at night wondering of all the ways this could go wrong. And she doesn’t really know how any of this can go right. She likes sex. It’s a great time, it feels freaking fantastic, but she and Killian can’t possibly live out the rest of their lives wanting to constantly have sex whenever they have conversations. Logistically, that’s not possible. And, like, she knows it’s better now than the first time they met, than the second time too, but every time she spends an extended amount of time with him, especially when they talk, all she wants to do is grab him by the collar again and kiss him.

Just without the clothes and all.

Definitely without the clothes.

If she could put into words how she’s feeling, she’d write it in one of these damn letters and never mail it simply so that she can maybe understand.

Understanding is never going to happen.

There’s no one at the mailboxes or in the laundry room, so before she even gets her mail, she runs back upstairs and grabs her basket of clothes and detergent, humming to block out the noises still happening, and then walks back to the basement, putting her clothes in the washing machine before getting her mail, taking the one letter that resides there, and propping herself up on the wall of unused machines as she reads.

Emma,

I’m going to blame the rum for this letter. I really am. It’s around two in the morning, the moon high in the sky. We’ve just spent the day together, which was bloody wonderful by the way, and I can’t seem to stop thinking of things. Even as I write, it seems rather foolish to put my thoughts onto paper, but hopefully I won’t think to mail the letter. Or maybe I should. I honestly don’t know. This is all uncharted territory for me, and I seem to be diving in headfirst even if I am wearing a life jacket.

You see, I rather fancy you, Emma (No Middle Name) Swan, and it’s been a long time since I fancied a woman for more than one night or possibly a few weeks. The last time that I did, I had my heart broken so horribly that I retired from the Navy and moved across an ocean. Quite dramatic, don’t you think? I’ve been told that I’m a dramatic ass. That may have been Liam, but it also may have been you. I can’t recall at the moment.

Her name was Milah. She was beautiful, absolutely stunning, and I loved her with what felt like every beat of my heart until her heart was no longer mine to love. We met at a Naval Christmas ball. She was there with her brother, and I’ll never forget the black dress that she was wearing. We danced, and as they say, the rest is history. But as you know, I’m a bit of a history buff, so I like the details. I imagine you might too. I always knew that she wasn’t my soulmate. I didn’t have a sign, but she did, a simple tattoo on her hand. It was something we didn’t talk about in our three years together until one day we came across a man with a matching tattoo. She didn’t leave me, not at first, but as she got to know him, she fell for him. And who was I to keep two soulmates from having each other?

I think that’s what makes it worst of all. There was nothing wrong between us, but she had someone who she belonged with. It wasn’t me.

So you may think you’re the only person with an aversion to soulmates. You’re not. We all have our issues, our baggage, but I’ve found that since spilling that iced water down your dress (you should wear that dress more often by the way) the weight on my shoulders seems to have lessened. I’m…happier, I guess. I have such a wonderful life, but lately, I’ve had more reason to laugh. I think it’s because of a certain blonde with a penchant for mismatching her socks and junk food that no sane person would ever eat so regularly.

But who knows? This could all be the rum speaking.

Love,

Killian

She reads the letter three more times before she truly allows herself to let all of it sink in. It’s been three weeks since Labor Day, three weeks of the two of them going on and continuing to text and write letters – ones other than this one – and yet this one has shown up in her mailbox this morning. Either the US Postal Service really sucks or Killian didn’t send this the night he wrote it. He was likely drunk, at the very least tipsy, but he’s the most well-spoken (written) drunk man she’s ever seen.

And he bared his soul to her.

Because she makes him happy.

She does that.

Her gut feeling is to run, not really sure where she’d run to since this town and these people are her family and she’d never leave them, but she wants to run from her feelings, from the way that her insides unpleasantly twist and the way her heart squeezes. She knows that she feels the same way about Killian, that he makes her happy, but seeing it written out like that, seeing the words in Killian’s handwriting, that’s an entirely different story. And it doesn’t matter that he was drunk. Drunk words are sometimes the most truthful.

How in the world is she supposed to handle any of this?

Does she push it away? Pretend she didn’t get the letter? Does he even know that he sent it? Does he remember writing it? Should she write something back? What the hell would she write back? How would she even do that without having a little liquid courage too?

She can’t get drunk today, not with Ariel’s baby shower, but she really, really wants to.

That’s the thing too. She’s not even sure if she wants to get drunk for herself or because Killian’s letter brought back every feeling of abandonment she’s ever experienced. He was left, just like her yet again, and whether she likes it or not, they do understand each other.

(Of course she likes it, likes being understood.)

Her brain never quite turns off after that, reading the letter over and over again so many times that she might as well have it memorized, and she only knows that she moves because she changes her clothes over into the dryer, cleaning out the lint filter before twisting the knob and listening to it rattle to drown out all of her thoughts.

Goodbye shower. The laundry room is now the place to have an existential crisis.

But she does somehow manage to turn her thoughts off enough to know that she really does need to shower, so while her clothes are drying, she heads back upstairs and takes one, quickly washing her hair and her body, shaving her legs up to her knees since her dress for today only really shows half of her calves. She’s got three hours until Ariel’s baby shower, but she needs something to do, so she tugs on her dress, letting the blue and white striped print hug her body, and takes the time to apply her makeup, going through an actual routine instead of simply slapping some mascara onto her lashes.

Today really must be shaping up to be a day.

“Why are you already dressed?” Belle asks when she walks out of her bedroom, making her jump at the sight of Belle sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal in pajamas that she definitely wasn’t wearing an hour ago. “And why do you look like a deer in the headlights?”

“Oh, I, um…”

She tugs at the waist of her dress, pulling the tie a bit to tighten it as she thinks of a lie. As much as Belle knows about she and Killian, she doesn’t know the half of it. She purposely hasn’t told anyone. She can’t. If everyone thinks that she and Killian are flirting and maybe fucking, that’s fine with her. That’s nothing. But if anyone were to know that they were soulmates, it’d make everything far more complicated. There would be expectations and hopes, and if others have those, how could she not? And why can she not figure her brain out?

But Killian told her he wouldn’t tell anyone, so no one else is going to know.

“I’m doing laundry,” she finally says, knowing that the best lies are routed in truth. “I needed something to pass the time, so I went ahead and got ready. Well, with everything but the mess of my hair.”

Belle’s brows pinch together, but she doesn’t say anything else, scooping her spoon into her bowl before taking another bite. “So Will and I think we found an apartment yesterday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, nodding her head. “It’s downtown, in that cute little complex across the street from Granny’s with the pink awning. I loved it. I mean, it’s bigger than this place, but it feels very homey. And there’s this built in bookshelf that I think I might love more than I love Will.”

“Oh good. That means I can keep the one here.” Belle rolls her eyes, and Emma walks forward to pull out her chair from the table before sitting down. “I’m so happy that you guys found a place. Like, obviously I’m going to miss you, but after the show I heard this morning, I think we might need a little space.”

Belle doesn’t even blush. All she does is reach into her bowl and pick up a dried strawberry, flicking it at her. “In all fairness, you never wake up that early on a Saturday.”

“I mean, how could I sleep through such a performance? Whatever you’re doing, you’re obviously doing very well.”

“You’re going to share all of this at the wedding, aren’t you?”

“Oh absolutely. And if you put a little tequila in me, I might even act out my own version of the events.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll get arrested for that.”

“I’m on good terms with cops. Where is your partner in crime, by the way?”

“I left Ariel’s present at his place, and he went ahead and went home to get it and get ready. You want to drive there together?”

“Absolutely.”

-/-

“Why do you look like you’re dying?” Ariel asks, wrapping her arm around Emma’s waist as she stands in Ariel’s kitchen looking at the spread of food out ahead of her, Max wandering around the table in an attempt to get scraps.

“Because I am. What’s up with the creepy pigs in a blanket snacks that are made to look like babies? Am I supposed to eat those?”

“No, no.” Ariel rubs her hand up and down Emma’s back, and if she wasn’t already thinking about the fact that one of her best friends is having a baby while the other is getting married, she’d definitely be thinking of all of the motherly instincts that Ariel possesses and how she has likely never had those even if she thought that she did at one point. “That’s just a weird thing that Mary Margaret brought. I think she saw it on Pinterest and thought it would be cute, but it’s super creepy.”

“I mean, like, the creepiest. And the deviled eggs are the same way.”

“I’d stick to other foods if I were you.”

“Anything not baby related.”

“Ah, yes, but save room because I believe there’s a game later where we have to eat baby food.”

“Just kill me now.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

She rolls her eyes and leans her head over to Ariel’s shoulder, wrapping her arm around Ariel’s waist knowing that she’s taking up too much time from the guest of honor, but everyone else seems to be just fine milling around the kitchen and living room, most of Ariel’s regular furniture pushed aside to fit in table cloth covered tables with flower centerpieces sitting in the middle of all of them. It’s cute, and she has to admit that Mary Margaret definitely knows how to host a party, weird food choices aside. But it most definitely hasn’t been the worst hour of her life, especially since she knows every single person here. The only real issue was when Killian showed up because she thought that she was going to have to stop talking, which isn’t the easiest thing in the world when she’s with her friends. But he stayed away from her, making sure to speak quietly instead of being his usual commanding presence.

His words, not hers.

And mostly she was thinking about how refreshing it is to have both the father of the baby and male friends at a baby shower. She gets that the woman pretty much does all of the work (she’d like to speak to someone about that because it seems fundamentally unfair), but both Ariel and Eric are having a baby. It’s not simply Ariel’s to raise. It’s Eric’s too. And yet most fathers don’t show up to showers, don’t put in the effort, and no part of her has ever understood that. But maybe she’s simply hoping for something that’s better than most people’s reality. She doesn’t know. She never had parents, never got to see it first hand, but when she thought…no, it doesn’t matter. None of that was real, and there’s no use in thinking of it now even if thoughts of Neal have been niggling themselves into her mind since this morning.

She’s simply glad that Ariel has Eric, that they have each other and baby Fisher.

They have a family.

“I’m not eating pureed food unless it’s, like, pureed donuts or something.”

“They don’t make pure sugar for infants. That would be a fundamentally awful idea.”

“Eh, I don’t think so. The babies would probably be super happy.”

“You’re going to be the person who gives the baby sugar right before you send them back to me, aren’t you?”

“You bet your ass I am.”

“Alright,” Mary Margaret claps, making Emma turn her head to look in the living room, “who wants to play a game?”

The game isn’t eating pureed baby food, but somehow it is much, much worse. In reality, she knows that it’s really not that bad. It’s cute and funny, and if she wasn’t who she is, she’d be thankful that this is the game that Mary Margaret picked out because it’s damn fun.

Who’s That Baby?

She’s got a large board full of baby pictures, some of them adorable, others a little scary (not that she would ever say that out loud), and everyone is having to guess which baby is who. She hasn’t guessed a single one because, really, she’s selfish and can only think about the fact that her picture isn’t up there.

And she knows this because, well, Mary Margaret never asked her for one. While Mary Margaret can work wonders, it would be pretty much impossible for her to gather baby pictures of everyone without anyone knowing, so she must have asked everyone to send them in. But Emma was never asked, not at all. Sure, she could pass it off as an oversight, as a mistake, but she knows that none of that is true.

Mary Margaret didn’t ask for her baby picture because she knows that she doesn’t have any.

Today was not supposed to be emotional like this. Today was supposed to be…a sob suddenly catches in her throat, one she has to force to keep down, and when she feels hot tears forming in her eyes, threatening to escape, she quietly excuses herself from the room, knowing that she won’t be missed if she ducks into the bathroom for a moment. But the bathroom is locked, and since she sure as hell isn’t going to go into the nursery right now, she opens Ariel’s bedroom door and collapses against the wall, letting her legs bend until she’s sitting on hardwood and pulling her legs to her chest as she tries to breathe.

Breathing is seeming pretty difficult at the moment.

So is not crying.

Why does she want to cry?

That’s a dumb question. She knows why she wants to, why she’s about to, but it’s been almost eight years. Things like this shouldn’t hurt anymore, should they? She should be over it. She has to be over it.

She isn’t over it.

Another sob rumbles through her, this one escaping from the confines of her throat, and when she hears it, even she notices how ugly of a sob it is. It’s one of those where she can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t do anything but let her shoulders tremble and tears fall down her cheeks. The more she tells herself to calm down, the more uncontrollable she gets, the more she feels like she has no control over anything.

And then there’s a click, a turn of a knob, and she’s paralyzed in fear and embarrassment that is only exacerbated when she sees tight blue jeans over muscled legs and a simple white button down with small light blue stripes that she knows belongs to Killian.

Words don’t come out of her mouth even though she’s got an excuse on her tongue, a pathetic one about being allergic to the weird baby themed foods, and while she expects him to be snarky, he’s not. It’s so much worse because after she takes one look at the raised brow on his forehead, he slides down on the wall next to her, their thighs hitting each other as his arm wraps around her shoulder so tentatively that she nearly grabs onto it and pulls it over her shoulder herself.

She definitely has gone crazy.

But when she doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move away from his embrace, he moves closer to her, his embrace a little tighter, and she can feel the heat of his body all over her as his hand rubs up and down her shoulder while she buries her face in his shirt near the slight exposure of his collarbone and the chain that resides there. He smells like the spice of his cologne, something warm and comforting, and even though it’s ridiculous, that’s what calms her, what makes her stop crying, just the smallest of whimpers and hiccups occasionally escaping her lips.

It should hit her that she’s having a meltdown in her best friend’s bedroom at said best friend’s baby shower in front of the man who she has…something with. But honestly, she feels puffy and exhausted, and she’s more concerned with the fact that her mascara is going to ruin Killian’s shirt and the way that his hand seems to be large enough to cover every inch of her as he comforts her.

And she focuses on the fact that he’s silent.

Well, he was.

“You know, darling, I think that you should cry in here a little longer so that Ariel and Eric can get some practice with someone crying in their bedroom at weird times.”

She huffs into his chest, rubbing her nose into his collarbone as his scent consumes her. “That’s bold of you to assume that there’s not already someone crying in here on a regular basis.”

There’s a thud against the wall as Killian’s head falls back with laughter, his chuckles deep but light, and she hiccups again in response, not really able to do much else.

“Now, Swan, I don’t think their sex life is that bad. They are having a baby.”

“Believe it or not, an orgasm is not required for conception.”

“No, it’s not.” He rubs his hand up and down her arm again, squeezing her bicep before continuing and moving along her back so that his nails trace patterns into her skin. She must be really upset and out of touch with herself right now because they’re talking, and she feels no shivers running down her spine or heat curling between her thighs. Maybe all it takes is for her to be having a meltdown. That makes it even worse. It’s probably just that they haven’t talked enough. “Would you like to talk about what’s got you hiding away in here, or do you want to talk about our friends’ sex life for a little longer?”

“Can I have the option of neither?”

“No.”

“That’s unfair.”

“So is life.”

Emma rolls her eyes knowing that Killian can’t see it, and maybe that is the reason why she rubs her eyes into his shirt some more. “Aren’t you going to get a boner if I talk too much?”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Ridiculous man.

(Sweet man.)

“I got your letter about Milah this morning.” Killian’s hand stills and his tongue clicks, but she keeps going, knowing that if she’s going to talk, it’s got to be while she can’t control her body and emotions and her tongue basically has free range. “I don’t know if you knew that you sent that, if you did it on purpose or got drunk again, if the mail was just late. I don’t know, but I read it while washing clothes and I hated it. I hated that you were screwed over, that you were screwed over by the whole soulmate thing. I mean, you were in love, and it ended because of what? Because she had a tattoo that matched another man? That’s such bullshit.”

“It’s okay, love.”

“It’s not. Nothing about any of this is okay. But, like, that’s not even why I’m having a meltdown. I mean, you definitely put me in a confused mood because you talked about your heartbreak and how I’m helping with that, and I – I can’t deal with any of that right now when all I can think about today is the fact that there are all of those baby pictures up on that board and not one of them is of me. Mary Margaret didn’t even ask because she knows that I don’t have one, that no one cared enough about me to take a picture and give it to me. And obviously I’m spiraling because then I get upset about a baby that never even existed. I’m not even one of those people who desperately wants a baby or something.”

“What are you talking about, Swan? What baby?”

The only reason she has the bravery to say this is because she’s not being forced to look at Killian, to look at the blue of his eyes, and if she can’t see his eyes, none of this is real, right? It’s like the texts. They’re separated enough that it’s not all overwhelming for her.

“When I was seventeen, I met a guy, Neal. You’ve probably heard of him from our friends. They’ve never met him, but I guess…he’s kind of a legend in the group. Anyways, we dated for three years, and when I was twenty, my period was late. So obviously I’m freaking out, probably having a panic attack, but then I take a test that says I’m pregnant. And weirdly, I feel calm. I feel calm because, you know, I’m going to have a family, have something I’ve never had.”

“Swan – ”

“I wasn’t pregnant,” she interrupts, not wanting him to stop her and ask any more questions. “It was a false positive, a cheap test. But I didn’t know that until after I told Neal, and he basically told me that I should have kept my legs shut before packing his bags and leaving to go live with his father in fucking Tallahassee. So I was left alone with no boyfriend, no kid, and a hell of a lot of bitter thoughts because I thought the man was my soulmate and I’d never have to feel alone again. I thought I was done being abandoned. The joke was on me.”

She’s not crying anymore, not even sniffling, but she feels cold and stiff and like she can’t really breathe through her nose. Here she is baring her soul to this man who has all of the power to break her, and yet she still told him, still let the words pass her lips are they were spoken into his skin. But he did tell her about himself too, tell him how he was broken too, and maybe that comforts her.

Maybe it also comforts her that she knows Killian’s got to be pitching a tent right about now. She’s been talking for ten minutes at the very least with her long pauses and ramblings, and there’s no way that he isn’t struggling. And yet he’s sat in almost silence listening to her and comforting her all the while he wants to fuck her.

What the hell even is their lives?

And that’s why she starts laughing, a chuckle bubbling up through her throat while her shoulders shake, the corners of her mouth curving into a smile, and she moves her head up to look at Killian even though she knows that she probably looks like a raccoon would after a night out at the bar.

That thought is unsurprisingly not the weirdest thought she’s ever had, not even the weirdest this week.

“There’s that smile,” Killian encourages, nodding his head and thumb at her chin while his own smile appears on his face, making eyes crinkle. She likes that a lot. It makes her stomach twist in unfamiliar and yet not entirely unpleasant ways. He complains about them only being there because he’s older than her, but she doesn’t mind in the slightest. “The sun would rise early to see your smile.”

“But then I would literally get less sleep or have to spend money on blackout curtains.”

“I’ll buy them for you.”

She chuckles again and shakes her head even as Killian’s thumb moves from her chin to beneath her eyes, wiping away the tears that remain and probably still continue to flow. She feels like jelly or a blob or something else shapeless, something else that can’t be contained. They haven’t been this close since…she wants to say since she kissed Killian on the fourth of July, but it’s most likely as close as they were on Labor Day.

Summer holidays seem to be a pattern for them.

But it’s nearing autumn now, and her breath hitches as she looks at the scar on his cheek, the freckles near his nose, the long, dark lashes contrasting against blue eyes. He’s such an attractive man, almost so much that it would take her breath away if it wasn’t already gone. She’s not going to kiss him now. She knows that he’s not going to kiss her. But their breaths are intermingling, and she can still feel the warm presence of his hand on her arm.

“I’m sorry that you were hurt like that,” he whispers, her gaze flicking up from his lips to his eyes. “I’m sorry that you were hurt by Neal and Walsh and your parents and every other person who doesn’t deserve you and your funny sense of humor and kind heart.”

“It’s fine. It was all a long time ago.”

“Wounds made when we’re young tend to linger, and it very obviously isn’t fine. You’re having a bit of a time hidden away in our friends’ bedroom, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to be hurt. I wrote you a drunk letter about my ex because I was hurt. I still get angry over my dad leaving and my mom dying. The universe has fucked me over in a lot of ways, but I think it did something right in letting me meet you.”

Oh well damn. That’s just not fair.

“No one should be as good with words as you are. Like, even your drunk letters were basically professional novels.”

He shrugs at the same time that he reaches forward to tuck her hair behind her ear, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down her spine. “I was a wonderful English and literature student if I do say so myself. And for someone who reads as many books as you do, I’m surprised you’re not always speaking in limericks.”

“Yeah, well, besides the occasional historical romance, I read a lot of books about murder and mystery. They’re not exactly teaching me to speak like Shakespeare.”

“All I got out of that was that you know how to murder me and get away with it.”

Emma chuckles, shaking her head as she gently pats his chest, their faces still impossibly close. “I’ve told you before, I’m not someone you really want to mess with.”

His brows raise in the way that they always do, the lines on his forehead appearing. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I’ve told you how I quite fancy with you even when you’re yelling at me, haven’t I?”

“You fancy my ass,” she deflects.

“I am a fan of every part of you,” Killian sighs, rubbing his hand over her back in the way that he does where his hand nearly covers all of her, his forearm pulling her closer. “If that includes your ass, so be it. Though, I always considered myself a breast man. You seem to have converted me to both.”

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or completely and totally disgusted.”

“You can compliment my ass if it makes you feel better.”

Rolling her eyes, she pulls back from him, putting more space between as she moves back to sit a little closer to the bed, her limbs still a little shaky. “I’m not falling for that.”

“Damn, I really could have used the ego boost.” Killian stands from the ground, and she’s not at all distracted by the way his thigh muscles look under his jeans. But maybe she kind of is as she doesn’t notice the way he holds his left hand out, the one covered in scars from the accident, until he’s looking down at her expectantly. She takes his hand, the warmth and roughness overwhelming her, and he helps her stand so that her legs are a little more stable. “Do you think you’re ready to go back to the party? I’m sure they’ve moved onto A opening up breast pumps and someone doing something entirely inappropriate with them. How could we miss that?”

“I mean, the only thing that could top that would be if there were more weird, baby-shaped food.”

“Isn’t that bloody disturbed?” Killian laughs, his face lighting up with joy in that way that makes her stomach twist yet again. Her intestines must really hate her. “I mean, why would I eat that?”

“Because it tastes good.”

“You should not say things like that. I can’t look at you the same way hearing those words come out of your mouth.”

“Hey now.” She holds her hands up before reaching back and tucking the hair that keeps falling in her face behind her ears. “At least there’s not one of those cakes with the baby’s head coming out of a frosting vagina.”

“Swan,” he groans, leaning forward and resting his head against her shoulder while his own shoulders heave with muted laughter, “please don’t talk about that. I’m rather fond of that particular area, and I’d rather not imagine things coming out of it.”

“That sounds kind of painful for all of your sexual partners if you can’t pull out.”

“Well, the baby does have to be made somehow.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said.”

“You can’t say that about everything that I say.”

“I can if you keep getting that ridiculous.”

Killian laughs once more before leaning back off of her and wrapping an arm around Emma’s shoulder, the weight heavy and comfortable while he opens the bedroom door with his free hand. “Come on, love. Let’s go see if there’s a cake depicting Ariel giving birth. If not, I hear Mr. French takes requests.”

Ridiculous.

Such a ridiculous man who is making her laugh and feel comfortable with his arm around her shoulder after she just spilled her guts to him about some of the darkest parts of her life. She should feel uncomfortable, awkward, ready to run. She’s been waiting for all of those things since she read his letter. They’re not coming. They could later, but for now, all she can do is laugh at Killian telling her about Liam nearly passed out when Elsa gave birth.

In all of this, all that has happened, all that she has revealed, only one cohesive thought truly remains.

She and Killian are inevitable, always have been, always will be, and she’s fallen into the trap of liking him much more than she ever intended to.

Maybe even loving him.

That’s the craziest thought of them all.

But she has to wonder about the fact that she didn’t feel aroused once in that conversation when she always thought that was the thread that was holding the two of them together.

#Not Your (soul)Mate #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

106 notes · View notes

oculusius · 4 years

Text

Desk Jockey

“I want that report on my desk at 6 AM tomorrow or your ass is on the street.”

I look up from my keyboard, from the sickeningly modern, blank desk to the even worse face of my branch manager. Picture what you’d expect the person saying this to look like, and you’re probably right. Tall, dark hair combed back, slicked back with just enough gel to not be disgusting. Attractive, but only conventionally, because it hides his fetid interior. The rotten, wriggling insides of the kind of guy who relishes other’s misery, especially when he’s snorting high grade blow on the weekends. Though he’d probably prefer orphan’s tears (But that’s a story for another time).

I’ll do my best, you fucking cretin.

I mumble out some garbled excuse. I won’t even tell you what I said because I forget, or rather, it was so insignificant that I never committed it to memory in the first place. “Sorry Eric,” (He’s one of the ‘hip’ bosses that makes us call him by his first name), “Won’t happen again”, Please don’t take my healthcare away I will literally suck your dick to keep it. He shakes his head and walks away. We’re the last ones in the office, one of the tallest buildings in our shitty, Midwestern town; all glass and steel like some gaudy San Francisco startup. The only lights still on are in the lobby; besides that the only other illumination is from the sickeningly crisp glow emanating from my monitor. As soon as the elevator doors close behind Eric, I grasp my hair in my hands; it’s drenched in sweat and I’m balding already, despite being in my late twenties. Flakes of dandruff are appearing on my scalp, but by the time I get home from work I’m too damn tired to remember to get that special shampoo. Stress related? Probably. Did I have time to fix it? Fuck no.

I swear to God you motherfucker I’ll name you when I eat a fucking bullet you shit fuck…

Stop. The more rational voice in my head. Finish this shit in the next—5 hours? Shit, it’s already 1 AM! I’ll smash bottles and get proper wasted when I’m finished. And when the following day is over, seeing as I’d probably be pulling an all-nighter. Fuck. I take two caffeine pills from the nondescript tin in my top drawer.

Alright. I need to get the excel sheet from that old email inbox the intern left when he quit (not that I blame him). To do that, I need to go through my inbox and find that time I CC’ed him about scheduling that conference call. But to get into my inbox, I need to reset my password because company policy is to change passwords every 3 weeks, and it can’t be a past password…

Alright. One step at a time.

It’s two hours later. I found the file, finally. I feel like I crossed the fucking Rubicon with no limbs to get here. Now, to get the shit I need from it and send it to Eric. I hope he chokes on it. While bleeding. From every orifice, and then some. I open the file, and I’ve never been so goddamn happy to see the sickening green of excel. Document recovery—what’s that? Fuck it, I’ll deal with it later. I ctrl f the account name. Beads of sweat are dripping off my forehead. Outside, it’s still the vaguely pinkish black of night in any big city. I might actually get some sleep tonight…

WHY IS THERE A FUCKING HYPERLINK HERE?

Oh boy, this better not cost me my job. I get sent to a greyish webpage, the kind of soulless portal that screams ‘high finance’. A nondescript login page for “Kleene-Rosser Accounts Management LLC”. I roll my eyes. Management occasionally threw us these shitty platforms because their friends from way back developed them, and they wanted to help them out. Because God forbid we use Citibank.

There’s no login, but there’s a support number on the bottom of the page. Maybe if I call, they can help me? It’s worth a shot. I mean, I had nothing but time, and if it actually worked and saved my job, I would fly all the way to India or some shit to kiss that phone technician on the lips. Alright. God, when I was an undergrad did I ever imagine this would be my waking life (or lack thereof?) I should’ve joined the military. Better to be blown up overseas then mentally scarred over here.

4-887-612-393: 24/7 Live Support

I call from my office phone, in the hopes that it’ll lend credence to the claim that I fucking need this login. The phone rings for what seems like half an hour, but I can tell from the clock on the wall that it hasn’t been a single, godforsaken minute. Maybe I’d died and gone to purgatory? Seemed believable enough—although, I wasn’t sure what I’d done in a past life to deserve this. Maybe I was a Mongol slavedriver, and…

“Hello, this is ZenDesk, my name is Robert. How may I help you today?” My crisis of existential spiraling instantly, mercifully, shatters. I put on a cheery voice.

“Hi, I work at [company name]. I really need to find something for my boss, and in this accounts payable excel file, it says that I’m supposed to login to a ‘Kleene-Rosser Accounts Management?’ I have all my company info if you need it, I was just never told we used this firm before.”

A beat passes. I hope he heard the desperation in my voice, because if I had a guardian angel, it’d be on the other end of that phone line. Why did I tell him I never heard of this place? He doesn’t care! He isn’t paid to care!

“Of course, sir. Just a moment please. What’s your name sir?”

That thin veneer of politeness again.

“Uh, Keith Sanders. I also have my company email, if you can send the password there…”

“OK sir, what’s the address?”

I spell it out for him. My fingers are digging into the faux-leather of the chair. I’m starting to sweat. If this doesn’t work, I’m fucking hosed…

I tell him the address, and soon I have the URL to reset the Kleene-Rosser password. Surprisingly, my company email works for the username. Lucky guess I suppose? I thank him, truly from the bottom of my heart, and wait for the page to load.

According to the web page, the site was some kind of file storage service. Besides a few nondescript tabs on the top leading to “Home”, “Support”, etc. there’s nothing but a grey background set behind a very basic file directory.

[company_name]/Accounts/Accounts_Payable/2019/May/.

There it is! So deceptively close. 05.19.19.xcl

When I try to open it, I hear the most awful of noises: the Windows 10 error sound, impossibly loud. File corrupted. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DO YOU CORRUPT A FUCKING EXCEL FILE? SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS?

I dig my fingertips into my temples. I can feel the faint outline of an engorged vein on the side of my head. I imagine it, an angry, vibrant purple, the shooting representation of my immense, earth-shattering frustration.

It was as if every cog in the infernal machine that was my work place was designed specifically to drive me fucking bananas. Like my life was some cosmic joke to see how much I would endure before going postal, or at least smashing my monitor. Jump out an office window, strapped with speakers blaring “FUCK THIS PLACE” over and over again, even when they’re scraping me off the pavement with a comically large spatula. Every little thing piled atop one another to form the worst shit tsunami eternally suspended above my head. Every wriggling, squealing fucking cell in my brain…

Alright, let’s think of solutions. Eric wanted the file, and if it was corrupted, I’d just tell him the truth: that it’s how I found it. Man, why did I drive myself up the wall earlier? So stupid… I log into my email. Actually, I don’t. As soon as I hit enter in the URL bar, I get that fucking google “no internet” error dinosaur. At this point, I try to keep rolling with the punches. Alright, network diagnostics, here we go. After what feels like centuries, after windows resets the router, etc. I finally get an answer. Sort of. An error code. I had two hours left before I was unemployed. I take another caffeine pill and keep going, determined to see this shit through to the end.

Hidden on the fifth page of the search results is my answer. It’s on an obscure, early 2000s web forum that had a grand total of 2 users online, probably bots. A post from a literal decade ago has my same issue, and one of the commenters mentions he had the same thing. Apparently, it’s a hardware issue with the router. Despite being woefully underqualified to deal with IT issues, I have no other choice. No fucking way Eric will believe that the internet cut out 2 hours before my deadline. I find the tech support number, and pray that the information is up to date and that they won’t have to send a technician out to fix it.

As the phone rings, I ponder my situation. I was unlucky enough to find what I needed right as the Wi-Fi died, and it was probably one of those issues that fixes itself in an hour anyway. There it is again; I can almost see the shadowy gears of the universe working against me, trying to crush my psyche beneath their teeth into bits of mental scrap. When I finally get a response, I’m caught off guard. This guy seems American. His voice is a bit hoarse, and I picture him as the fat comic book guy from the Simpsons, gut and all.

“----- tech support. How can I help you?”

I don’t like the way his voice trails off every word, leaving a breathy wisp behind like the tail of a comet. It makes me want to shudder.

“Yeah, uh—“

My mind blanks for a minute. I’ve been derailed, and it takes an agonizing few seconds for me to decide what I want to say.

“I was trying to email my boss, and—“again with the unnecessary details “I got this error code, and I saw online that it was an issue with the router.”

“Uh huh.” He sounds skeptical. And disapproving. I imagine he’s wrinkled that gob of cartilage clinging to his face he calls a nose. “What’s the model number?” He finally asks.

I read off the name, and he laughs. He fucking laughs. Is my suffering amusing him? Arousing him?

I have a clearer image of this guy now. Pervading my mind, filling the gaps in my brain, covering my synaptic gaps with fucking cement. He’s grossly overweight, in some dark room somewhere. He smells like BO and he is sweaty milky beads off his forehead that are landing into his keyboard and congealing. The scent is odious, like a corpse coated in mayonnaise and left in a tomb for five millennia, except it’s still wet.

“Sir?” That subtle tone of annoyance again. “Do you understand me, sir?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Would you mind repeating that? I was just—talking to someone.” Idiot he can tell you weren’t.

I write down his instructions, but first he pontificates about some issue with a chip in the router or some shit. Apparently I have to call the manufacturer? And they can help me dust it off or some such?

He’s fleshy and sickeningly soft, like a malformed, hairless puppy. That shirt’s been pasted to his damp stomach longer than you’ve been on Earth. It’s just a crude impersonation of the kind of people that run this industry. And you’re just his plaything, to be antagonized and fucked with until…

As soon as my attention is re-centered, I say “Alright thanks bye” without even knowing what he was rambling about before. He laughs. No, cackles. I can practically smell the stale coffee and tobacco on his breath. I slam the receiver down. It was starting to stick to my face with sweat and I really wanted to switch to my cell anyway. Peeling it away was orgasmic.

I examine the napkin I had scribbled on. I’d written it down in a haze, and it almost felt like I was reading someone else’s handwriting. Was that a 5, or a 6, or what? Doesn’t matter. I plug in the numbers, to some obscure fucking company I know nothing about. There’s like 12 digits, not like any number I’ve ever dialed. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to make the worst fucking mistake of my life, worse than taking on that debt to go to college or that time I puked on grandma’s casket at the funeral. Light years away, I imagine, some metaphysical blade was eagerly, sexually, preparing to scoop out my insides and flay them across time and space, flicking its imaginary tongue back and forth in anticipation.

I had expected that infuriating error code, but instead, I feel it. All of it. The other side is cold, and every hair on my body stands right on edge.

“Hello?”

The phone’s definitely connected.

“Hello?!”

This time it seems to echo. I’d opened a door, a beaming ray of light into a place that hasn’t been graced by it in eons.

“Is this Infolink appliances?” I gulp suddenly. My throat is impossibly dry. Everything that made me me, my identity, my memories, my interests… were spilling out into space, into an impossible void far blacker than even the darkest of nights. Please. Like my brain was a plastic bag full of air, but now it’s been punctured. It’s getting sucked out like a breached spaceship, and my body is curling around the now torturous void. I am a husk.

I drop the phone on the ground, and the screen cracks. But I’m far beyond caring about that screen now. The spiritual, inky black is billowing out of the phone like an endless wave going out in every direction. And there’s something else. A raucous laughter, and sneering, they’re laughing so hard somewhere backstage that their mouths, or whatever they call those fucking gullets, are overflowing with sickening white foam with streaks of yellow bile. Dark silhouettes that have been eagerly waiting this whole time for this horrible climax. I’d played my part. Everything else was out of my hands now.

#horror #writing #lovecraft

3 notes · View notes

kweebtrash · 5 years

Text

Feels Right (M)

Messy Ch. 4

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members, Taeil in this chapter)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: fetishism, racism, a little violence, mentions of blood

Features: library sex, public sex, hand jobs, oral (receiving), fingering, riding Johnny into the sunset, the smallest mention of daddy kinks

Word Count: around 15k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose. ‘Johnathan’ is Johnny’s contact name in Eri’s phone when she doesn’t particularly care about him lol.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Eri’s POV

The warmth of his skin was radiating beneath me and I could smell his musk that bathed me in comfort. I kept my arm tight around his waist, burying my face deep into his neck. “Hmm...Johnny.” I mumbled, still half asleep. “You're so warm...don't leave.”

“I won't babes. I promise. You feel so good.”

I cuddled into him more and placed a small kiss on his neck. “You always feel good too…” I couldn't help the small yawn i let out.

“You amazing, princess. You make daddy feel so good.”

“Hmm.” I giggled. “Daddy. That sounds-”

Wait….what?

I sat up quickly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I blinked a few times and saw Lucas come into view instead of Johnny who I wished was still in my bed. “OH YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” I hit him hard with the pillow while he let out his high pitched hyena cackle. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“You actually said daddy! I can't believe it!!”

My face flamed with embarrassment. I swallowed hard. “Y-you-! Shut up Lucas! You're such an asshole!”

“Don't get mad at me because you're all goo goo-ga ga over Johnny. You're such a slut for him and it's gross.”

“Be quiet! I am not! I was just half asleep and I-”

“You were having big lovey dovey dreams about him!”

“Oh my god!” I hit him with the pillow over and over and pushed at his bulky body until he rolled off the mattress. “You're terrible!”

He curled up on the floor laughing even harder at my flustered frustration. “Quinn told me she ran into him running out of here last night. Did you confess your love to him?”

“He ran out? You're lying.” I said a little hurt. I mean, i get it. Staying over is hardly anyone's thing but if he ran out like a bat out of hell then what was the point of the night we just had? Maybe i was reading too much into it but it still stung.

“Nope, you can ask Quinn.” Lucas cocked his head to the side as his train of thought shifted. I could feel his eyes lock onto me until it made me squirm in my bed.

“What?” I asked, pulling my blanket up to cover my bare body.

“You're...all like….glowy.”

“I'm what? What the hell does glowy mean?”

“Like you're...i don't know. Like...naked and glowy and sparkly or whatever.”

I blinked slowly, confused at what he meant. Perhaps it was the way my open curtain made the afternoon glow of the sun cast rays across my bed. Was that what he meant? I tried tucking my hair behind my ear, suddenly shy at the situation, but it had dried into a mass of fluffy purple curls. I sighed and avoided looking at him. “Can you close my curtain. I hate the sun.”

He crawled his way back to the bed, outstretching his hands to pull me close to the edge. “No way, little vampire. You look too good.”

I rolled my eyes and let out another yawn. “It's just the sun, dumbass. What time is it anyway?”

“Around 2 i think.” He kissed my stomach and looked up at me trying to peel away the blanket. I swatted at his hand.

“Dude, I'm not gonna suck your dick every time you come over.” I groaned.

“I mean i wasn't gonna say anything but the offer is on the table. But actually i wanted to ask you something.”

“What?” i wiggled away from his grasp and went towards the window to draw the curtains closed, tossing the blanket aside.

“Do you have feelings for Johnny or what?”

I whipped around and glared at him. “What did you just say?”

“You know, he spent the night, you wanna call him daddy, you definitely wanted to cuddle him, and now you're all glowy. What's the deal, Eri? Are you gonna start writing like Mrs. Johnny Suh on your papers and shit?” He snorted.

“Lucas, you literally have 10 seconds to get out my room before i beat your little ass.” i growled.

“Ooh, make it hurt Mommy.”

I landed another smack, this time to the back of his head. “QUINN!!!! Come get your Lucas!”

“Ow!” He rubbed the back of his head and pushed me playfully. “You’re always so mean to me! I’m just trying to have fun with you.”

“Yeah, by being a pain in the ass. I don't have time for this. I have to go to work at 4.” I reached for my phone that laid beside my pillow. “Did my alarm go off or did you wake me before i needed to be up?”

“i'm not sure. I figured you'd like waking up with me instead. I'm sure you didn't cum hard enough with all that soft shit Johnny did.”

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. “How do you know about that?”

Lucas’ eyes went wide as his ears reddened. “Uh...um...i just figured that-i mean like you don't have like...nevermind. Anyway-” He worked to change the subject quickly. I wanted to pry some more information out of him. I doubted that Johnny would've admitted to the kind of sex we had last night. Not in front of his dude bros. He was too macho for that. “We should have time for a little something.” Lucas continued.

“‘Is that seriously all you think about when you’re with me? Don’t you like value my friendship at all?”

He placed a kiss on top of my forehead and rubbed my shoulders. “Of course i do. It’s just fun doing stuff with you is all. I haven’t seen you in a while since we’ve both been busy. And now that you’re all lovey dovey with Johnny you’re gonna forget all about me!” He gave me a big puppy pout which made me roll my eyes.

“Stop saying i’m lovey dovey whatever for Johnny. I’m not. And I won’t forget about you Lucas. How can I when you’re up my ass all the time?” I sighed and stood on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “You’re still one of my best friends, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

He gave me a cheesy smile and i assumed my sentiment put his heart at ease. No matter how annoying he was i really did care for him. I laid my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, and while it wasn't exactly the person i wanted i still felt comforted enough to never want him to stop. Quinn came in then, hands on their hips and a disapproving look on their face.

“Lucas, why are you bothering Eri? Eri, put some clothes on.” They said.

“He came barging in here and woke me up! I was asleep naked. I haven't had a chance too!” I protested before a soft vibration caught my attention. I looked down at my phone and saw a new text message.

Johnathan: Told you I don’t sleep over

I pouted at his jerk like attitude. He was so obnoxious. I tried to think of how to respond. I wanted him to regret running out of my room and leaving me to wake up (mostly) alone. I decided to send him a picture, testing exactly how “glowy” I looked. I opened my camera and angled it so the sun hit just right. I was looking pretty banging even with messy hair and not getting enough sleep. My eyes even looked a bit lighter than normal which never happened. They never casted that gorgeous honey glow like Johnny’s did. I almost let out a dreamy sigh just thinking about his eyes but i shook those thoughts out of my head almost as fast as they appeared. I snapped the picture instead and sent it off to him.

Too bad. You could have had some bomb ass morning sex.

I made a quick change to his contact name before looking out the window. A part of me was trying to cover up the fact that I had been so engrossed in my phone before Quinn and Lucas started to pry, the other part was trying to figure out what the weather was like just by looking outside. Though it was nearing October the weather was still mostly warm with only spikes of cooler winds every once in awhile. I really didn’t feel like lugging a sweater to work- hell i didn’t even feel like lugging myself to work. I checked the time on my phone and it was later than what Lucas had predicted. I needed them out of my room so I could start getting ready,

“Ok you two, i need to take a shower so I can get ready for my suffering. Get out.” I shooed away Quinn and Lucas who were probably two seconds away from jumping each others bones anyway.

“Eri you owe us still.” Lucas called out from my door way. Quinn was already tugging on his hand.

“Yeah, yeah. Threesome I know. Raincheck again. I have to get going.”

He finally left my room and i shut the door, trying to get some peace and quiet for just a second. What the hell happened last night? I didn’t remember too much as I was falling in and out of rem sleep. I could’ve sworn I felt Johnny still inside me and we had been holding hands for awhile too. Just the thought alone made my cheeks burn. And the way we fucked yesterday was...something else. I could barely think straight. All i did was focus on the pleasure and held him so tight. I didn’t want to let him go. Lucas was right though I didn’t want to admit it. I was getting to be too lovey dovey with Johnny. Even the thought of it was starting to send me into a panic. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Like, hi, hello, self, get it the fuck together. Love was something to be avoided at all cost. Maybe I was just in love with his dick. That thing could make anyone go crazy. I was so deep in thought that the sensation of my phone vibrating made me jump. It was another text message from Johnny.

Johnny💕: Blame my job babe. If i could quit and fuck you all day, shit i would.

Ew gross. Why did he do this every time? Just talk like a normal person you idiot. I shouldn’t expect that much from him and to be honest the fact that he was still thinking about me (even if it was just my body) was making my heart skip a beat or two. No. Stop. Ignore that. Ignore him. I tossed my phone onto my bed and grabbed my towel before heading to the bathroom. I had to focus on better things like work, or my study session with Taeil tomorrow. If anything i was sure he could get my mind off of Johnny for good.

I crossed my legs underneath the wooden table, adjusting my skirt that rode up my thighs. I bit down on my pen cap staring at a mess of circulatory routes and charts that just wasn’t sinking into my brain. I hated that I had to take a science as a required credit. I was a journalist and musician. Art kids didn’t do science or math. What’s worse was that I had to get this down soon as I already had a test coming up. My eyes were starting to blur and I wanted to throw my rented textbook across the library.

“Eri?” I jumped up as I felt Taeil’s hand on my thigh. “Are you okay?”

I blinked quickly and looked up at him. I had forgotten he was there just for a fraction of a second as my stress induced panic made me overthink about failing my class entirely. “S-sorry, i just…” I threw my hands up in frustration. “ Why can't i learn about dicks! Like i know the anatomy of that!”

“Well...i mean um...technically you have to trace the flood flow to it so…” He covered his face as he laughed nervously. “How about we concentrate on getting just one chart down for today, hm?”

I watched his thumb brush over my bare knee. That little movement was enough of a signal to let me know that maybe he wasn't as focused on this lesson either. I sighed, pouting a bit. “My brain hurts. Like literally hurts. Can't we take a break?”

“A break? It's only been twenty minutes!” He smiled at me as he propped his chin on his hand, the other still glued to my skin.

“Yeah, twenty minutes too long! Please? A little break Taeil? Pleeeasssee? If we don't i'm gonna go cross eyed.”

“Fine, fine. We can take a break. But you have to promise me that you'll try your best when we start back up again, ok?”

I nodded eagerly and set my head on the table, wanting to silently cry to myself. There was a silence between us (save for my whines of desperation) that settled into a bit of tension. Taeil's warm hand shifted from my knee to the small of my back, caressing up and down the length of my spine. I assumed he meant it as an act of comfort but my body reciprocated it as a flirtatious invitation. I felt static slide down my limbs and I shifted a bit in my seat. The heat from his hand was spreading through me like fire and I was starting to crave his caresses a little too much. I swallowed thickly and had an idea to shift his attention to something that was weighing on my mind.

“Um...Taeil?” I whispered into the silence of the library.

“Hmm?” He hummed softly. I lifted my head from the desk and peered up at him. His deep brown eyes had a dreamlike gleam within them as they watched me. I sat up a little bit straighter as I felt his fingers glide against the small band of skin that has become exposed from the hem of my shirt sliding up. They slipped under the fabric and traced gentle patterns against me. I resisted the urge as much as I could to not be too obvious with my attraction and want for his fingers.

“Do you...ever think about the party? You know when we met?” I managed to finally spit out.

“Oh...well, I mean, sometimes.” He said, pulling his gaze downward and finally removing his hand from me. “Mostly i think about how I wish Johnny wasn’t an annoying prick who ruined everything.” He let out a soft sigh and turned himself inwards towards the table, picking up his pen and twirling it in his fingers. He seemed to want to fidget more than talk about the jackass who had managed to get me into his bed. If it hadn’t been for him, I might have been fucking Taeil more often and not worrying about Johnny taking large gaps of time in between his text responses.

“God, me too. He really is annoying and kind of stupid. And cranky. I think weed does the opposite for him; like instead of making him chill it just makes him worse.”

I saw a small smile peek out from the corner of Taeil’s lips. “You know it’s a real turn on hearing you complain about him.” he joked.

My eyes widened in surprise and the both of us burst into laughter. I guess we were both on the same page about that giant asshole. “Well I could complain about him all day but...i do kind of regret not talking to you more. Like since the party I haven’t really had a chance to hang with you, beside in this dumpy library.”

“Aww, c’mon. It’s not dumpy. I love this place.” He paused for a second. “Wow, I sound like a complete nerd.”

I shifted my body towards him, leaning in ever so slightly and crossing my legs again so they they brushed against his. “It’s okay. Nerds are cute. Really cute.”

“You think so? I guess I should keep that in mind.” He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth as he flicked his pen against the wooden table top. Played out like this, it kind of felt like a cheesy porno but he was definitely hot and I had been curious about his lingual skills ever since Quinn told me they hooked up with him. I could see his cheeks turning as bright as his hair, especially when my fingers crept closer to his. “Do you remember when I said that there was something that you should know about me back at the party?”

To be honest I kind of didn’t, some parts of that night were still a bit of a blur. It might’ve been when we were about to kiss- before Johnny ruined everything. “Uh, yeah. Why?” I half fibbed.

“Well...I mean, we’re here and I-i’m pretty sure I’m reading the signals right-” He started.

“What signals?” I teased as I moved my fingers even closer until they linked with his.

“You know...you. Me. The party. Here now. Do you want to uh…”

“Fuck?”

Taeil swallowed hard and hid his face away from me completely. “Ah...well...that’s what I need to talk to you about. I’ve never...I mean, i would want to...with you but…” He stuttered through his sentence nervously.

Wait a goddamn minute. Was he saying that he was a virgin? But he and Quinn-? Quinn wouldn’t lie about hooking up with anyone. They loved to talk about all their hookups. We had also been friends for years and I knew them better than anyone so this had to mean that Taeil was lying. He was using the virgin thing as some sort of weird pickup line-a way to get girls in his bed. Great, I couldn’t even find one good guy on this god forsaken campus. “Taeil, are you saying that you’re a virgin?”

He rubbed the back of his head and gave me the cute shy smile that I now wanted to slap off his face. “Y-yeah...I’m sorry. I didn’t want to disappoint-”

“Oh Taeil, i’m not disappointed that you’re a virgin. I’m disappointed that you thought that wack ass lie would work on me.”

His face only held an expression of shock. I glared at him, daring him to lie further. “Wait...what?”

“Quinn’s my roommate. Did you really think they wouldn’t tell me who they hooked up with? Do you actually get laid pretending to be so innocent?”

Taeil sat back in his seat, resting his arm on the backrest and spreading his legs. He looked so smug now, a complete opposite to his pure act he upheld just moments ago. “Yeah, i do. But I guess I slipped up. Quinn’s kinda...ya know, a little ditzy. She believed it so quick, I thought i’d might have the same luck with you. I mean, if I would have told you at the party I’m sure i would’ve taken you home before you even jumped in the pool.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “You know, I thought you would be one of the good ones. At least one that was less of a prick but you’re just as dumb and horny as the rest of them. You got caught in your own lie asshole.”

“You can’t blame a guy for trying. It’s more fun this way, like a little roleplay, you know? A quiet library, an eager student, a good tutor. It’s classic.”

“Ugh, i should’ve never come here. You’re lucky I actually need your help. Do you even know anything about anatomy?”

“Oh tons.” Taeil chuckled as he licked his lips. I hit his shoulder hard.

“Don’t you even fuckin’ dare, Taeil. You know what i mean!”

“Okay, okay! Yes i know anatomy and i can actually help you pass. Turns out sex is a great motivator for students. You study, i reward you, how about that?”

“You're literally so gross.” I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to my notes. Now i wanted to finish this damn study session and get out of here as fast as possible.

“Eri,” I felt his warm breath on the shell of my ear suddenly and my entire body froze. Little sparks of electricity zipped under my skin and i couldn't help the reaction. “Just try my method once. If you don't pass you can blame me. But if you do pass then you can keep coming back to our little study sessions. Don't you want to come?”

I grit my teeth, annoyed at his double entendre and even more annoyed that he was right. I wanted to cum and i seriously needed to pass or else i'd be forced to retake the class. Suffering through almost 4 months once was enough, i couldn't risk having to possibly do it again. I kicked myself for falling into his liar's trap. “Fine. But i'm holding you to it. If i don't pass i'm gonna find every girl you've ever hooked up with and tell them that you're a filthy liar. I'll expose you and destroy this little set up you've got going on.”

“So blackmail's your speed? What's to say those girls will believe you?” His hand gripped the inside of my thigh tight as his body remained close to mine. I couldn't tell if the heat radiating from him was anger or pure lust, maybe a mix of both, but i tried to pretend it didn't affect me.

“Oh honey, there's nothing we love more than good gossip. A rumor goes a long way.” I turned to face him, our lips barely centimeters apart now. My eyes flickered up to meet his. They were dark and full of emotions that i tried to decipher to no avail. My breath caught in my throat. Sometimes the quiet shy ones (even those that pretended to be that way) were the most dangerous. I swallowed hard as i felt his words press against my mouth.

“I won't let you fail, Eri. Scout's honor. But say one thing about my little lie and i'll be sure you do fail. Two can play that game, you know.”

Asshole. I nodded anyway, agreeing reluctantly.

“Good, glad we’re on the same page. Now if you can stopped being hooked on Johnny for a second we can focus.”

“I am not hooked on him. It was a lapse in my better judgement. Trust me, that’s over with.”

“Aww, now who’s the liar here?”

I didn’t have time to protest as his lips pressed against mine, taking my breath away. I gave into the languid clash of our lips almost instantly. He didn’t rush or shove his tongue in right away. No, with Taeil it was like he wanted to explore every inch of my lips before coaxing anything else from me. His teeth nipped ever so gently at my bottom lip before sucking on the tender skin. I leaned into him more, craving his tongue and any roughness he could give me. I didn’t even bother to think about the sparse amount of students hanging around that could possibly be watching. His hand on my thigh inched its way higher until the tips of his fingers brushed against the center of my panties. A little gasp slipped from me and made him chuckle.

“You’re so sensitive already? I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Quiet. You just surprised me that’s all.”

“So you don’t want me to finger you under this table?” He asked.

“I didn’t say all that now. I just...happened to be more curious about your tongue. Jerk.”

“My tongue?” He licked my lips slowly. “What about my tongue?”

I shoved at him and turned away, getting annoyed by his antics. “Is there any semblance of human decency in you or all you just all fuckboy?”

“Depends on what you classify as decency. I could be an asshole and not eat you out at all.”

“Please eat me out.” I blurted. I hadn't had it for so long that just the mere thought of it was enough to make me beg. Taeil looked around before nodding towards the bookshelves.

“Follow me.” We both stood up, leaving our notes and textbooks behind. We weaved our way to the far back row of shelves where the lights were dim and the books musty and old. I was pressed against the hard wood while Taeil sunk to his knees as if he was ready to worship my body. He shuffled my skirt up towards my waist, placing a few sparse kisses to the center of my panties before flexing his fingers underneath the waistband. The cool air from the vent above us made my newly exposed skin blossom with goosebumps as he pulled them down. Little by little my thighs were blessed with soft presses of his lips while his hands explored the expanse of my ass. He gently dug his fingertips into my cheeks before pulling my hips forward. I could feel the steady puffs of breaths against my clit and i was almost squirming at the normal act. He wasn’t even trying yet and I was already putty in his hands. If Johnny wasn’t such a dick and would go down on me then I wouldn’t feel like such a needy slut for this lying bastard.

I cast my eyes downward, my breath stilling in my lungs as I saw Taeil’s eager eyes meet mine. His tongue slipped past his lips to connect with my impatient clit. He licked a small strip against the length of it before swirling just the tip of his tongue over the most sensitive part. My hand gripped one of the shelves to steady myself while the other covered my mouth. My toes were curling within my shoes and i tried to relax as much as possible and not lose my cool. I wanted this sweet sensation to last hours especially with how his miniscule licks were turning into more confident sucks. My hips were beginning to roll against his face but he stopped that quickly, placing his thumbs firmly into the dips of my hips. A dangerous flame ignited in the pit of my stomach as i almost doubled over. His eyebrow quirked and he pulled away.

“Sounds like you really like when I touch you here.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded quickly. “Please…”

His lips upturned into a smirk until they disappeared between mine again, this time hungrier and more sinful than before. His tongue covered the entirety of my slit, grinding up and down, alternating between sucks and small kisses. Every few seconds he would dig into my entrance, his tongue edging against the beginning of my walls. His thumb would circle my clit then, never failing to pleasure my bundle of nerves. My calves were starting to quiver now and I could feel an orgasm approaching already. What the hell? I had never really cum this fast before.

“Ta-Taeil! U-um…” I bit into my bottom lip as i lifted myself onto my tiptoes, pressing my hips harder against him. He pulled away just for a fraction of a second, his index finger against his glistening lips.

“Ssh, we’re in a library remember.” He gave me a wink before sending me over the edge and into a pleasure filled void that i had missed so much. My grip on the shelf was becoming so tight I thought i would surely send the row of books crashing to the floor. I could even feel the edges digging into my palm creating brutal indentations. I exhaled slowly and slumped against the shelves.

Taeil rose to his feet and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him. His lips overwhelmed mine as my head was spinning. I could still taste myself on his tongue as we battle for comman over the sensuous dance. He was making me fall in lust with him way too fast. I wrapped my leg around his waist wanting even more from my little tutor. My hands found their way to his chest, gripping his t shirt tightly as i nipped at his bottom lip. “I should’ve hooked up with you earlier.” He whispered with a soft chuckle.

“That’s for damn sure. Don’t you dare stop now. For the love of God, dont.”

He angled my head to the side to capture my neck in rugged bites and restless sucks. His hand steadied my raised leg on his waist while his foot nudged mine, allowing him more access for his fingers to slip between my folds. He didn’t waste any time adding two fingers inside me, easing quick thrusts and riding the length of my walls. My brows furrowed as I focused on the effortless pleasure that was building up with each stroke. “Tell me how good i’m making you feel, Eri.” He whispered against the wet marks he left behind on my jugular.

A tingle went down my spine at the provocativeness of his words. I never expected him to desire any sort of praise or dirty talk, especially from me. It was one of my worst weaknesses. I was always too shy and embarrassed to say anything directly sexual (other than the few begs here and there). Now I was faced with Taeil wanting me to praise him while his fingers pumped faster inside me, occasionally splitting apart to stretch me open. My nails sunk into his chest even more while my lips struggled to even form any sort of sentences, appraisals or not. “Do it and I’ll go down on you again.”

Oh jesus, please. Yes, do that. I barely let my voice go over a whisper but I gave into his request. “P-Please, Taeil. It feels really good.”

He pulled his fingers from inside me, leaving me gaping and whining for the warmth to return. They instead disappeared inside his mouth, coating his tongue in my cum and a moan of his own. A slick pop revealed how he clean off every drip. “Damn.”

I covered his mouth quickly. “Don’t you dare say that I taste good. Please.”

He jerked his head away from my hand and laughed. “Cum just tastes like cum. I just like how wet you are is all. But i guess you earned my tongue again.”

He shifted the leg around his waist to rest on his shoulder as he sunk down to the ground again.. His sucks came faster, dragging those sinful fingers through me once again. I met each of his pistons with driving force, panting with eagerness and desperation. His tongue painted shapes i never knew imaginable against my heat. My eyes fell closed and my hand fisted his firey locks, keeping him flush against me. My grinds swirls against his nose, his lips, his chin, and that perfect, perfect tongue. The edge of his middle finger grazed against the threshold of my spot sending another spark throughout my lower half. A strangled breath left my lungs, followed my an embarrassing squeak as i could barely form thoughts. My brain was dipping in and out of common sense as my second orgasm hit me in another sudden rush i wasn’t expecting. My fingers slowly untangled themselves from his hair as he pulled away. His chest heaved as he wiped his face, rising to his feet once again. “Turn around. Now.”

I bit my lip at his command, executing it while the clang of his belt opening rang in my ears. He unzipped his jean and the familiar tear of foil followed. Of course he had planned this all out. I almost rolled my eyes even though I was thankful for it. He gripped my hips tightly, lifting me onto my toes as his cock pressed into my entrance slowly. The stretch wasn’t a tight or deep as Johnny or even Lucas but i was still restless to feel him fuck me hard against these shelves. He dragged my hips back to meet his creating a symphony of skin slapping against skin. I hoped that it wasn’t echoing too loudly in the quiet space. Joined with Taeil’s intermittent pants and the soft claps of the bookshelf against the wall, i was sure someone might bust us any second. I tried to keep quiet but Taeil was making it difficult. His hand had left my hip and shoved its way beneath my sweater, roughly filling his palm with my breast. He squeezed and plucked away at my nipple daring to bring more moans out of me.

I was already sensitive, my clit swollen with pleasure and heat, I could barely take any more of his teases to my chest or his quick and simple thrusts. I clenched around him tight, sucking him as deep as he could go inside me. Taeil pressed his lips into my shoulder hard sinking a moan into my heated skin. His thrusts stuttered as i felt his legs falter. His cum rushed into me as he braced himself against the bookshelf. It hit the wall harder this time, making me snap my head up to see if anyone noticed. I could’ve sworn i heard footsteps tap against the tiled floor too.

“Shit...Taeil. Is someone coming?”

“Yeah, i just did?”

“No, you idiot. Don’t you hear footsteps?” I whispered harshly.

He stilled himself, concentrating on following the sounds. He pulled out of me quickly, snapping the rubber off him and working to zip up his jeans. I wiggled my skirt down and wiped the sweat off my face, hoping that it wasn’t blatantly obvious that we just fucked. The footsteps were nearing closer and i plucked a random book from the shelf, pretending to read while Taeil pretended to search for something.

“Are ya’ll done- Eri?” I looked up to see Taeyong rounding the corner.

“Oh fuck, it’s just you.” Taeil said. “What do you want?”

“Duh, dumbass. You said you’d give me a ride home after your last lesson and to meet you here. I know your usual spot. I didn’t know your “lesson” was with Eri though.”

I cleared my throat. “I needed help with anatomy.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you do. Anyway, can we go now? I’m beat.”

Taeil sighed. “Just give me a few minutes. I’ll meet you in the parking lot ok?”

“It’s fine.” I interjected. “I think i’m ready to leave. I’ll see you later, Taeil.” I walked passed Taeyong without barely a word and headed back to the desk to gather my things. I was putting away my textbook when my phone buzzed against the table.

Johnny💕: you busy 2mrw night?

Interesting. He didn’t start it with his usual “wyd?”.

Why?

I pulled my backpack onto my shoulder and got my keys, heading to the elevator. Funny how he hadn’t texted me since our hookup yesterday but was all about a booty call now. For a moment I hesitated. I had been left on the edge of an interrupted orgasm thanks to T.Y. I could probably finish up with Johnny but also- ugh- that was too much work. I pressed the button to the elevator, hearing Taeil and T.Y. bickering in the distance. The doors opened and I stepped through, looking down at my phone again.

Johnny💕: party. On the beach by the amusement park. Wanna go?

Did parties count as dates? Or did it mean that he just wanted me to go for the hell of it? I wondered if he had invited anyone else.

Who’s going?

I saw the ellipse of his response wriggling on the screen and I waited. I didn’t like the way my notification vibration made my heart jump every time he responded.

Johnny💕: some people I know. Not like in our circle. Its gonna be chill. Come with.

Why should i?

I stepped out of the elevator and headed out of the library towards the parking lot. My car wasn’t too far and i got to it quickly, stepping in and starting up the engine. I checked my phone again just as his name popped up.

Johnny💕: wanna see u.

I dropped my phone as i panicked and when i reached to pick it up from between my feet i hit my head on the steering wheel, making the horn go off and startling me even more. FUCK! I rubbed the sore spot on my forehead and looked at the message once more. His message was still there, clear as day. It wasn’t an illusion. He wanted to see me, to actually hang out with me. I never thought I would ever get that from him. Maybe it was just a joke. I let out a loud whine and threw myself back in my seat. I hated him so much. Why did he have to draw me back in every time? I wanted to lie to myself so bad and say that those three little words didn’t mean anything to me. But the truth was that I wanted to see him too.

“What kind of party is this?” I asked as I stepped out of Johnny’s car. We had driven to the beach adjacent to the local amusement park that was almost an hour away. It better be a worthwhile party since I had to endure a car ride of hesitant silence between us that was only filled with shitty trap music and remixes. Occasionally we would cast glances at each other- I would notice the veins in his arm as he drove one handed and leaned back in his seat, how his fingers drummed against his thigh or the steering wheel, and the way his skinny jeans cupped his bulge in all the right ways. Every once in awhile he would switch the hand he was driving with, letting the other drift to the center console between us. His pinky or middle finger would brush against my bare thigh and that’s when our eyes would meet. He would always adjust himself and sit up straighter after that. I had no idea what the fuck was going on in his head and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to find out.

When I stepped out of the car though I could smell the salty bitterness of ocean air coupled with the smokiness of a fire. I had never been to a beach party before. I assumed it would be a bit nicer then one held in some trashed house or tiny apartment. I however didn’t think my outfit through enough. A halter top and mini skirt was not enough to keep me warm from the ocean breeze and beginnings of fall. I hugged myself, rubbing my hands up and down my shoulders to try and get some heat in me. I was ready to go near that fire asap. I looked back at Johnny who had finished locking up his beat up hyundai. I didn’t dare move without him; i was way too afraid to enter some party full of people I didn’t know.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I was waiting for you. They’re your friends, not mine.” I shifted my weight, bouncing a little.

“Why the hell are you fidgeting?”

“I’m cold, ok? Can we get to the fire please?”

“No one told you to wear barely anything.” He grabbed my arm and guided me towards the steps of the boardwalk.

“Oh, shut it! You like when I wear barely anything. Besides you said it was on the beach but it’s colder than i thought!” i tried wiggling out of his grasp but he kept me close to him. I pouted as we both descended down the wooden stairs, reaching the student infested sands. Johnny kept forward already greeting people he knew but I stayed frozen in place. This party was my absolute worst nightmare. Preppy, privileged bastards in khaki shorts and pastel polos and god awful ugly sandals that just screamed “hey my mom scammed the school system to get me into this college for free.” Those hoity toity bastards were coupled with plenty of chicks who looked like their favorite thing to do was cry over not getting a name brand purse from their sugar daddies. In the sea of eurocentric features Johnny and I stuck out like two sore thumbs, yet here he was laughing it up with them. I didn't want to be here at all.

I stayed in the corner, almost beneath the boardwalk entirely, wanting to cast the shadows around me and disappear. Johnny was some social butterfly that seemed to make everyone laugh as soon as he arrived. He was already getting passed a blunt and popping caps off of beer bottles. I doubted he even noticed I wasn't beside him. But i sure as hell noticed, and recognized, the blonde that bounced up to him with vigor. It was the one who he was with the night I was with Ten, the one who he didn't crop out of his snap all the way, the one who's nails were still sparkly and bubblegum pink as ever like ten flashing neon signs. She was already draping herself over him, those stupid pink nails coming to cup his face to try and pull him in for a kiss.

I turned away then, feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't want to watch whatever he decided to do with her. I was stuck here since i was stupid enough to let him drive. I couldn't even go to the car and lay down in solitude. I wondered if Quinn could somehow convince Jaehyun to come get me but he would probably just want to drink and smoke once he got here too. I sighed and fiddled with the thin straps of my halter top, adjusting the fit over my chest. I also wondered how long Johnny wanted to stay. It was already nearing midnight and I wasn’t in the mood to be here until 5 or 6 am. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through some social media, passing a chunk of time by. Eventually, out of the corner of my eye i could see a group of those khaki wearing bastards getting closer to me, trying to be inconspicuous about it and failing miserably.

I couldn't hear what they were saying but they were laughing loud enough to keep me on edge. I glanced over at the rest of the party goers, trying to gauge where Johnny was at. I couldn't see his deep navy beanie everywhere. A little part of me was starting to panic. Surely, he didn't just ditch me to go hook up with fucking malibu barbie. I was half tempted to text him when my view was suddenly blocked by a flash of pink. I looked up to see a chiseled chin and perfectly swooped blonde hair. His deep blue eyes seemed predatory and i hated the way he had closed the distance between us so quickly.

“Can i help you?” I asked. I took a step back, showing that I wanted nothing to do with him.

“What's your name, sweetheart?” He gripped onto the edge of the boardwalk above me making me feel like a trapped rat in a cage.

I shifted uncomfortably but held my head up, feigning my confidence. “None of your business. Can you back the fuck up?”

He didn't budge one bit. “You know, you're pretty cute for a mixed chick, kinda dark but-” he licked his lips and looked me up and down. “We can work around that.”

I clenched my jaw almost as tightly as i did my fist. Did he really just say that? Right to my face? “Back. The fuck. Up.” I growled.

“That attitude is cute, sweetheart, but lose it for a minute. My friends and I just wanted to know if you wanted to have some fun tonight. We're all kind of craving something sweet.”

“Fuck you.” I shoved him back with all my might as my breath reach a high level of panic. I craved to remove myself from this situation entirely, but he was bigger and stockier than me. I wedged myself between him and a supporting beam of the boardwalk, get a few small inches away from him. His calloused hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me back against him. A chunk of hair had managed to get trapped under his assault, yanking my head back with the force. I let out a yelp and struggled against him. “Let go of me!”

“Struggling only adds to the fun.” He smirked down at me and gave my hair another tug. I could feel tears prickling at my eyes. I hated feeling scared and i hated how he thought he could get away with this. I clawed at his hand, almost having to rip it free from my curls and pounded my small fist against his barrel chest.

“Fuckin’ asshole!” I screamed, loud enough that it seemed to draw the attention of the other party goers. I stepped back quickly, managing to free myself more so than last time. I sprinted down the beach as tears began falling down my cheeks. I was too helpless and angry to stop them. I wanted to get away from this place entirely but I still had no way out without Johnny.

“Eri!” I heard the familiar voice call out to me.

I ignored it and kept treading through the sand, working through the way it weighed down my sandals. I heard my name again, this time significantly closer.

“Eri! Wait up!”

I sniffled and whipped around, seeing Johnny barreling up to me. “I want to fuckin’ leave, John. Right now.”

He looked taken aback. “What happened? Are you crying?”

“I don't want to talk about it. Take me home.”

He set his arms on my shoulders, making me face him. “I leave you only for like an hour and something goes down. What the fuck?”

“What the fuck? What the fuck is right? Why'd you bring me to this stupid party? Was this some kind of joke?!” I pushed him hard and he barely took a step back.

He ignored my anger and instead grabbed my face in his hands.” Just tell me what happened already?”

I slapped his hands away, not wanting to feel anyone's touch against me. “That guy is a fucking pig. He wanted to pass me around to his little privileged bastard friends like i was some piece of “chocolate” or whatever else his fetishist ass wanted to do. Probably drug me and force me into a gangbang because apparently “struggling is part of the fun!”

“He said that to you?” Johnny asked, firmly.

“No, i just like lying about being harassed and fetishized. It really gets me off. Almost as much as him assaulting me and pulling my hair.” I rolled my eyes and threw up my hands in frustration. “You know what, you don't have to believe me. You guys are all the fucking same anyway.”

He stood quiet for a moment, nodding a bit. “Bet.”

I opened my mouth but i couldn't even put forth an argument before Johnny split from me. Sand kicked up from his shoes as he bounded in quick strides back towards the bonfire area. What the hell was he doing?! I watched in horror as his shoulder connected with my harasser's stomach, tackling him to the ground. Johnny raised his fist into the air and with a hard snap it rebounded off the other man's jaw. His head reeled back and i was sure blood i saw splatter onto the sand. I was frozen, completely stunned. My heart thundered in my ears as i saw the other rich frat boys circling behind Johnny like hawks.

“You're fucked, man! Don't ever say that shit to her again!”

I was already on edge and i didn't want anything to take a turn for the worse, well worse that it already was. I made a beeline for Johnny, pulling him off the other guy with all my might. “You're insane!” I screamed at him.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” The blond prick said, spitting out a wad of blood.

“If you ever, ever, put your hands on her again, Matt, I'll make you fucking regret it.”

The vengeance in his eyes was almost as scary as the bodies closing in on us. I tugged on Johnny's arm, trying to urge him to move. “Come on! I don't have time to scrape your guts off the boardwalk!” He stayed firm as if he was ready to take on the entire world for me. It took another hard pull to finally get him to start moving. “Let's go!” i shouted as i booked it faster than i had done for the entire night. At this pace i was seconds away from becoming a damn olympic athlete. My lungs were burning and i was struggling to keep up with Johnny's longer strides. He grabbed my hand and dragged me along. I made the mistake of looking back and i could see the five assholes already quick on our tails.

We managed to run up the stairs on the opposite end of the boardwalk, sprinting along the border of the amusement park. If we could hang a left we'd be able to head back to the parking lot and get to Johnny's car. “Johnny!” I panted. “Parking lot!” He didn't seem to hear me as he too was now looking back to see how close they were. Instead of heading to the parking lot he yanked me towards the right, shoving us both behind a maintenance building. I panted heavily and whispered. “What the fuck?! Why didn’t you go left?!!”

“I panicked, ok?!”

“I literally told you to go left! Ugh, if you hadn’t decked him in the face you wouldn’t be in danger of being jumped!”

He pressed himself flush against me, pinning me to the wall as we heard footsteps trudging closer. “Fuck!” It was too much of a close call and he took control again, pulling us to the gates of the park until we were about to hit a dead end. “Climb up the gate!”

“Excuse me?! That thing is like 10 feet high! How the hell am i-” Johnny swiftly grabbed my hips and hoisted me up. I scrambled to grab a hold of the top of the gate and pull myself up. I managed to wiggle my legs to the other side, dangling as i felt my arms burn. Fear settled into the pit of my stomach as i didn’t want to drop down and break my damn ankle or something. Johnny jumped up much easier than i would have and hauled himself over in seconds. Pfft, show off.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down. Past the gates, the park was swallowed in darkness as it was beyond closing time. The shadows provided us better cover as we stumbled through. My arms were hurting from all the pulling and yanking. My legs were as heavy as lead and my lungs felt like they were about to explode. A gross metallic taste was coating my tongue as if I was going to puke blood any minute. The band of idiots seemed to have lost our whereabouts, giving us a moment of peace for now. While I was recuperating I realized that the police might actually be called and we could get hit with a charge of trespassing and assault. Panic started to set in quick and I shifted around uncomfortably.

“We have to leave. I don’t want to get caught!” I still whispered, afraid that anyone could hear me although we were all alone.

“We won't get caught. Just...give me a second.” He was bent over, gripping his knees as he took longer to catch his breath.

“Cigarettes and weed catching up to you?” I wheezed a bit.

He gave me the finger. “Fuck off.”

“You’re a complete idiot, Johnny. What the hell are we going to do now? The parking lot is all the way on the other side. How are we going to get passed them again?”

He straightened up and wiped the back of his mouth as he headed towards the bumper cars we had ended up by. He plopped down in one of the cars, laying his arms across the back and sighing. “We'll just give it some time. They’ll calm down and then we can leave. Either that or they’ll get too piss drunk to even realize what happened. Relax.”

“What do you mean relax? How do you expect me to relax when so many things just went wrong?!”

“Can you literally just shut up? For two seconds? You’re stressing me out now and I don’t need that shit.” He pulled his half crushed carton of cigarettes out from his pocket and I saw the flame of his lighter ignite.

Him stressed? I should deck him in the mouth just for saying that. I grumbled as I trudged over to the bumper car and climbed in, giving his knee a slap. “Quit man spreading and let me sit down.”

He closed his legs and i managed to wiggle in the minimal space beside him. A quietness slipped between us, only his soft exhales of smoke and the sea breeze whistling through the trees could be heard. He extended the cigarette over to me, which I almost denied. “I didn’t pop the ball so it won’t be as bad.”

He had actually remembered that I hated the taste of menthols. “Still gross.” I took it anyway and inhaled deeply hoping it would calm the incessant nervousness that had taken over me. I kept looking over my shoulder just waiting for us to be busted any second. Minutes passed and I hadn't heard any sirens. The tenseness in my muscles ceased and I was able to ease back into the hard plastic seat. Johnny’s fingers drummed by my shoulders as I passed the cigarette back to him. I shifted a bit as he started unconsciously spreading his legs again, his knees practically touching the steering wheel. I leaned my head towards his chest which made him straighten up instantly. He pulled his arms from around the seat and settled his hands on his thighs, rubbing them against his jeans as if to wipe off the sweat from his palms. I looked at him, wondering if I should break the silence. “Um...thanks for kinda sticking up for me...I guess.” I mumbled.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “What he said was seriously fucked. Sorry that he did that…”

“Don’t apologize for him, he's the one that's a perv…Honestly, I didn’t think you would do anything about it. Well at least not like that. I’m sorry that I said you were the same as those guys...”

“Look, i’m an asshole but i’m not that much of an asshole. Surprisingly enough my mom did raise me right.” He flicked the cigarette butt off the side of the car.

“I know... It’s just that no one’s ever really done that for me. I'm used to defending myself and my friends, but he made me feel so...fucking small.” I crossed my arms over my chest, turning away from Johnny in hopes of deflecting the trembling in my voice. The weak feeling remained in my stomach as i could still feel Matt’s hands on me. Even though it caused more trouble than what it was worth, I was glad Johnny had punched him. If we didn't have the threat of being arrested (or jumped) looming over our heads, I would’ve let him destroy that creep. I dragged my knuckle just under my waterline to wipe a tear that threatened to cross the threshold and sniffled softly.

“Aw c’mon, you’re not gonna be a baby about it now are you?” Johnny nudged me and laughed a bit. I swatted at his hand, not really appreciating his efforts to lighten the mood with an insult. He must have sensed how it affected me as he changed his tune suddenly. “Shit...hey, I didn’t mean it like that. A prick like that doesn't deserve any of your emotional attention. Don't let him have the last laugh.” I felt his index finger brush under my chin before turning my face towards him. “I’m serious, ok?”

I nodded a bit, trying my best to accept his words, until i felt a wetness under my chin. “Are your fingers wet or something?”

“Huh?” What do you mean?”

“I feel something wet on me.” I grabbed my phone then, turning the flashlight on as i pulled his hand away from my face. I shone the light on it until it caught the splotch of blood across his knuckles. “Good job, idiot. You busted your knuckles punching him. They're gonna start swelling soon.”

He shrugged. “I've had worse. I'll be fine.”

“Still…” I looked up at him. “You got hurt because of me.” I felt a little bit guilty. “I-I think i may have some tissue somewhere in my purse.”

“Eri, it's literally ok. I don't care.”

“I care, ok?!” I huffed as handed him my phone and dug through my wristlet, searching for the pack of tissue i had stuffed inside it. “Hold the light up for me.” I pulled one out and dabbed at the blood as best as i could, revealing small cuts across two of his knuckles. “You probably caught his teeth when you hit him.” I held the tissue against the cuts adding pressure in hopes of stopping the bleeding for now.

“Maybe…” he sighed and turned the light off, setting my phone between us. “Why are you so worried about me?”

“I-I wouldn’t say i’m worried or anything! Just like...you can’t just be gross and bleed everywhere!” I shifted a bit in my seat and snapped my mouth shut not wanting anything else embarrassing to spill out like word vomit. His hand weakly gave mine a squeeze, a soft grunt indicating that it hurt him just to do that minimal movement. I sighed. “Why are you so stubborn?”

I felt his forehead press against mine and felt the shift in his shoulders as he shrugged. “Don’t know. In my nature I guess.” The minty tobacco scent on his breath fell against my lips and I could tell he was getting even closer. The kiss was so soft and gentle i almost didn’t feel it. “Thanks for making sure i dont ‘bleed everywhere’.” he chuckled.

I didn’t move, even when his other hand came to rest on my thigh, shyly creeping beneath the hem of my skirt. “Johnny…” I whispered. I knew he meant no harm in his touch but the bit contact made me shrink back just a bit. I loved when Johnny touched me but my body seemed to be giving into the knee jerk reaction of defending myself- like i was trying to make up for what i wanted to do earlier but couldn't. I wanted to force that out of my head instantly. He, however, seemed to take notice of my change in demeanor.

“Hey…” He cleared his throat a bit. “We don’t have to. I just thought that maybe…” he took a moment to figure out how to word his thoughts properly. “I don't want the last thing you feel tonight to be his hands on you. You dont deserve that.”

I didn't want that either. I wanted that scum to be wiped cleaned from my skin and memory like a chalkboard. I buried my face in Johnny's neck wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He pulled me into his lap, keeping me secure against him in a way i so desperately craved. He placed soft kisses against my my temple and all the way down to my shoulder. His fingers gently rubbed at the small of my back until my muscles melted away their tension. I sighed softly and inched myself towards his plush lips, turning my head just in time to catch a kiss to the cheek and turn it into an eager dance of our lips against one another. I cupped his face and tilted my head just a bit deepening the kiss. Our chests were pressed against each other, neither of us being able to catch the breaths we were stealing. He slipped a small moan into my mouth and i could feel the small timbre against my tongue. His grip on me was getting tighter though he was moving away from my kisses. “H-hey…” He whispered.

I tried to kiss him again but he jerked his head back. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I just...wanna make sure you’re chill you know? Before it goes too far…”

“Oh so now who’s worried about who?” I teased.

“My knuckles are one thing, you feeling like you’re not in control of your body and feeling forced to do something is not. Trust me, i know about that all to well.”

I straddled his lip, edging my thighs over either side of his. “Johnny, you caring enough to stop is the most considerate and human thing you’ve ever done for me.”

“A-ah…um…D-don’t make it weird, Eri.” He pushed his head into my chest, hiding completely from me.

“I mean it. I’m okay with you, with us. I don’t feel like you’re forcing me. And you were right, i shouldn’t let him have that hold on me. He doesn’t deserve my attention. You do.” I tilted his head up and kissed him again. “After all you said you don’t want him to be the last thing I felt tonight. So let me feel you instead. Just be careful with your hand, ok?” I brought the back of his hand to my lips, giving it a small peck before setting his palm over my ass.

“You can be mine for the night then…” He whispered as he decorated my collarbone with tiny love bites, branding my skin with the faintest of marks. Both his hands slipped under my skirt gripping my ass and pulling me flush against the center of his jeans while his teeth tugged at the fabric of my halter top. I untied the strings around my neck, letting my breasts free. Another gust of wind rattled through the park making me shudder. Though my skin was just starting to heat up the ocean air was still too cold to my liking. Johnny moved away for a moment and i felt him shuffling as he pulled off his oversized flannel shirt. He set it on my shoulders before wrapping his lips around my nipple. I slipped my arms through the sleeves, content at the newfound warmth and the way Johnny was eagerly bringing my nipples to attention. I kept his head close while my other hand trailed down the waistband of his jeans.

I plucked away at the button and zipper, allowing just enough room for my small hand to slide into his boxer briefs. His hips bucked just a bit when my fingers rolled over the head of his cock and down to his balls, cupping them slightly. I could already feel him reacting to the delicate touches and i wanted to coax more from him. He eased himself into slow rolls, filling my palm with his growing girth. I wrapped my fingers around him trailing languid strokes from his base to just under his head. The hums he made were so delicate i could barely hear them but rather felt the ticklish vibrations around my nipple. I exhaled airily as i gripped the nape of his neck. His devotion switched to my other breast while mine drew my fingertips to his slit.

Tenderly, i swirled my finger around the hypersensitive area, just barely dipping my nail into him. He separated from my chest and breathed out my name igniting sparks deep within my center. That frantic way his deep voice wrapped around that syllable made me love my name more than anything. With the slightest of throbs a bead of precum coated my fingertip. I traced it down his shaft, outlining a vein and making Johnny roll his head back against the seat.

I pressed needy kisses against his throat as if his moans could satisfy the hunger building within me. I quickened my strokes and filled his ear with promises of how good I wanted us to feel together, how deep i wanted him inside me, and how i wanted him to say my name as if it was the only word he knew. How he drew this confidence to even utter such sins, i'll never know but he sure as hell seemed grateful for it. His uninjured hand was clutching at my wrist, following the ups and downs and quick flicks. His lips parted and a heavy groan coated his perfect lips. I stole another kiss wanting to take in that desire that fueled my wetness.

“Baby,” he practically whined. “Fuck...more…”

I lifted my hips, just hovering over his cock. Slowly i pressed him against the seat of my panties, dragging his head up and down my slit through the damp fabric. I circled my hips every time the tip of his cock hit the most sensitive part of my clit. My thighs trembled under the pressure and i hid my mewl with the back of my hand. Johnny worked to follow my undulations adding more speed and digging into my entrance every few seconds. A rough grunt accompanied his fevered hand in shoving my skirt around my waist and clawing at the barrier between us. “Off.” He stated.

I stood up, Johnny holding onto me to keep me steady as i yanked my panties down to curl at my ankles. “Condom?”

“Always.” He chuckled. I heard him searching for the rubber. After the familiar sound of him spitting out a piece of foil he shoved his jeans down further leaving him just as bare as i was. I saw each move in the shadows and he beckoned me to rejoin him on his lap. I sat down on my throne, keeping my back to his chest as he kept an arm around my waist. I guided him towards my entrance, stretching around inch by painfully thick inch until he vanished inside me. My feet settled on the outside of his knees while my hands braced onto the sides of the bumper car.

I lifted my hips carefully before sliding back down taking slow exhales in between. Each pump coaxed out more of my cum, the slickness easing my movements. Eventually i was able to bounce faster, even swirling my hips and dipping down all the way to his base. The back of my head rested on his shoulder, giving him perfect access to the delicate spot beneath my jawline that pleaded to be marked, bruised, and sucked on. He knew exactly what my body wanted and compiled, sucking blood to the surface. My legs buckled, my thighs pursing together as wave after wave of electricity hit me.

Johnny landed a quick slap to my inner thigh and they flee open again, creating a path for his fingers to spread my lower lips open. His middle finger circled against my clit, digging ever so slightly beneath the hood. My walls spasmed around him, clamping down tight. His thrusts rushed through the tightness, increasing the pressure inside me and fucking me so furiously rough that i could barely keep up. I clutched at my hair, my chest, the back of the seat, anything to try and steady my mind enough to not go crazy.

He gripped my face and jerked it towards his, licking and nipping at my lips. “Turn around.” I twisted my way around, parting from his cock for a bit before retaining my position. He edged me back, forcing me to balance myself against the steering wheel. “Ride me, Eri.”

I nodded quickly, swallowing back the dryness in my throat. I ground my hips into his, practically feeling him bulging against my stomach. My nails dug into the textured plastic clawing out the worse sounds that were masked with my rushed moans. Faster and faster our hips met, luring out the most incredible feeling in the world. I reached for him and he yanked me towards him. His arms wrapped around me tight as our lips crashed together until our orgasms wracked through our systems. We didn't let each other go even then, choosing to slow down our thrusts and grinds until the oversensitivity formed aftershocks of pleasure. My whimpers matched his short groans, trading them between our tongues. When we finally parted he buried his face on my neck and i was hit with the aching realization of how sore my legs were.

“My legs are killing me.” I whined.

“Sorry, baby. Bumper car sex was probably not the best idea but I don’t regret that one bit.” He covered my neck and chest in kisses making me giggle. “I can check it off my fuckit list at least.”

“Oh my god, please shut up.” I pushed him away playfully before sliding him out of me. My body gaped around the empty feeling, wishing that he could stay within me all night but my lower half was extremely fatigued and i was tempted to ask him to carry me to the car. Besides. the last place i wanted to stay at was this damn amusement park. I wiggled my skirt down to cover my ass and plopped down beside him. He made quick work of pulling off the used condom and adjusting himself back in his jeans. I rested my head on his shoulder, gripping onto his firm bicep. “Take me home now, Johnny.”

“You’re gonna have to stop clinging onto me if you want to get home. Also i don’t want to hold my jizz forever. I need to get to the garbage can.”

I groaned and hobbled out of the car, hating every second of it. I struggled to get my underwear back on while Johnny stepped out beside me. While i was tying my halter top and pulling his shirt taught against my chest he pushed me back towards the gate we jumped over earlier, taking a moment to toss out the condom in the nearby trash. He stretched his arms out towards me, preparing to get me over the gate. “Come on, i’ll lift you up.”

I winced at the thought of getting hauled up there again. My stomach was already cramping and i was still trying to shaking out the static-y feeling in my legs. I sighed and let him lift me anyway, knowing this was the only way out where we were least likely to get caught. I hoisted myself over, again waiting for him to help bring me down. When we were both on the other side I looked around trying to figure out which way to go. “I think the beach wraps all the way around the park and goes to the other side of the parking lot but it’s gonna take awhile to get to the car. Do you want to chance it and try and cut across the boardwalk?”

“Ugh, not really. I’m pretty sure I can hear their music still. I don’t mind walking around. What about you?”

“Only if you carry me.”

He rolled his eyes and squatted in front of me. “Fine. Get on.”

“Wait, really?” I asked, stunned.

“If it keeps you from whining the whole time, yeah. Let’s go.”

“Well, f-fine!” I hiked myself onto his back, wrapping my arms loosely around his shoulders. He adjusted me until he felt comfortable and started walking across the shoreline, beginning our long journey to the parking lot. He didn’t seem all too bothered by giving me a piggyback ride and i appreciated not having to use my sore legs. I set my head on his shoulders, the warmth of his body and steady strides coupled with my post sex fatigue was enough to make me want to fall asleep right then. I twirled my index finger loosely around the silver chain he wore and closed my eyes.

“Don’t you fall asleep while I’m doing all the work, princess.”

I yawned deeply, already feeling myself drift off. “You’re the one who agreed to it, daddy...”

The lulling movements stopped suddenly and my eyes flew open as I actually realized what i had said. Stupid Lucas putting that in my head! I was gonna kill him! I had no idea if i should pretend I hadn’t said anything or just laugh it off. My mind was on the fritz and shifting full throttle into panic.

“Did you just-?”

“No!” I blurted out. Way to not acknowledge it and brush it off, idiot.

I could hear him try and hide his laughter. “You did. You actually called me daddy.”

“NO I DIDNT! I JUST...IT'S ALL LUCAS’ FAULT!”

“WHAT? You call Lucas daddy??!”

Oh god, no. Abort. Abort. I wiggled myself down from his hold and squirmed, bolting away from my embarrassment. Technically, it made no sense since we had to ride home together, but at this moment i wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

“Eri! Get back here!”

Shit. Shit. Shit! I tried to run faster but my legs did not want to keep up with me. Soon enough I felt Johnny's arms wrap around me, spinning me around before we collapsed onto the sand. “Tell me!” He commanded.

“No!” I covered my face feeling how red it was getting. He grabbed my hands instantly and pinned them down beside my head. I squeezed my eyes shut already wanting to disappear from beneath him.

“Is it some kink you have? Hmm?”

“I'm gonna kill you.” I whimpered.

“Aww c'mon princess. Dad-daddy wants to-” he couldn't even finish his taunt without bursting into laughter.

I groaned and tried to kick myself from under him but he only pressed into me harder. “Shut up! You're being a jerk! I-i don't even know if I like it!” I semi lied.

His laughter died down slowly and he placed another heated kiss on my lips. “Hmm, that's too bad because i think i do.”

My eyes flew open just as he pulled off me, getting up and resuming his walk down the shore. I turned onto my stomach, looking at him in shock. Did he really say what i think he did? I scrambled to my feet and went after him. When i finally caught up my face was still flushed. “D-do you really?” I asked shyly.

He didn't say anything, only giving me a small wink. I cast my gaze downward and kept my mouth shut, afraid of what else would come out of this beach trip. He joined me in my silence, which wasn't terribly awkward but filled with a sexually tense curiosity. He shoved his hands in his pockets and i clutched onto his arm, getting close enough to set my head against his shoulder. He didn't seem to mind and slowed down his strides so i wouldn't trail behind. Even though tonight was a train wreck at the beginning i never thought that it would end with us walking along the beach under the moonlight.

His yawn broke our silence and i looked at the time on my phone. The sun was just beginning to taint the sky with hues of hazy purples and soft blues. We still had that long drive back and i was sure the both of us would spend the day sleeping. Im sure he wouldn't want to drive the extra bit over to his apartment. “Hey, do you just wanna crash at my place?” I asked.

He nodded, that adorable sleepy look crossing his face again. Guess he wasn't up defending his manhood and fuckboy ways this time. “How about i drive us home? I think i'm a little bit more awake that you are.”

“Sounds good. I'm ready to pass the fuck out.” He handed me the keys from his pocket as our long walk finally ended at his car. We got in and i started it up, finally pulling away from the hellhole. I relaxed my hand loosely on the gear shift as i drove. Out of the corner of my eye i could see Johnny already falling asleep. His hand was close to mine, his slender fingers looking perfect and angelic to me in the strangest way. The tip of his pinky edged against mine until they linked together. I smiled a little bit, feeling my whole body tingle with warmth. I was feeling too much like a teenager with a crush and this wasn’t making it any easier.

I unlocked the door to the apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible. I wasn't sure if Quinn was here or asleep but i didn't want to be too loud. Johnny followed behind me shutting the door softly. I took his hand and guided him through the darkness until i reached my room. I turned on my desk lamp so the dim light didn't bother us too much. He was quick to get to my bed, craving its comfort.

“Do you need any pj's?” I asked.

He shook his head, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I sleep naked.”

I smirked and laughed a bit. “Of course you do. C'mon then, before you fall asleep in your jeans.”

He groaned and reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Meanwhile i worked to toss off my skirt and panties, pulling off my halter top but leaving on Johnny's comfy flannel. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too obvious that i wanted to keep it on all night. When i turned my attention back to him, he was comfortably naked and still sitting on the edge of my bed. I stepped between his knees and pushed his hair back while he rested his head on my stomach. I dont know what prompted my memory but i suddenly remembered the cuts on his knuckles. “Oh! I should probably take care of that now.”

“Of what?”

“Your hand, duh. I'll be right back.” I pulled away from him and headed towards the door. It wasn't until i reached the bathroom that i truly caught the scent that seeped through the fabric and it smelled so good. I couldn't help but bring the collar to my nose and take in his cologne mixed with the mint of his cigarettes. Usually the smell of cigarettes wasn’t pleasant but for some reason it worked on him. Maybe it was just because the shirt mimicked how i loved the way he held me the past couple of times we hooked up. And after tonight i had the fairy tail idea implanted in my brain that he could protect me from any sort of evil i had to face again. It felt good.

Gathering my thoughts, i remembered why i had left my room and rummaged through the cabinet under the sink grabbing the few medical supplies we had. I thought to grab something from the freezer to ease the swelling. The light of the bathroom was just barely enough to guide me to the kitchen where i found an ice pack. I made my way back to my room, closing the door behind me with my foot. Johnny had risen from the bed and instead was in the corner of my room curiously examining my guitar. Fuck.

“What are you doing?”

He shot up quickly. “I just never noticed this before. You play?”

“Uh...y-yeah, a little. Well i guess a lot.”

“You're new at it or-?”

“I...i-um...i've been doing it since high school but I don't really talk about my music stuff. It's kinda embarrassing.”

“How so?”

I shrugged and looked down at my feet. “I'm not really talented or anything.”

He walked back over to the bed and sat down. “You in a band?” He asked deflecting my self degradation.

“Yeah, kinda. We practice and play some gigs.” I set myself between his knees again, laying out the tools i needed to patch him up beside me.

“Oh? What kind of music do you guys play?”

I winced at the question. “Well we...we kinda do um this thing called emo and metal cover night where we just play songs of that genre at this local club. That's why i said i'm not really talented or anything. We don't write our own songs, i can't make up lyrics, my voice isn't super good.”

“But you have fun?”

I nodded.

“Then that's all that fucking matters, dude. And i'm sure you're not as bad as you think. Could i come to one of your shows?”

I stared up at him, eyes as wide as saucers. “Y-you? Come see me??”

“Yeah? Don't your friends go to see you play?”

“Absolutely not. They don't know i do it.”

“What?! Why not? Why are you so embarrassed about it?”

I sighed. “Do you really want to hear me sing ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ to a group of 20 to 30 somethings that can't fill a bar?”

“Yes.” His quick answer was enough to make my face flush.

“Why?” I whispered.

“I don't think you should hide what you like. Maybe i want to listen to ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ in a grungy bar.”

I snorted. “Do you even know who that's by?”

“Listen, i had my emo phase when i was 14. Unlike you i grew out of it.” He teased. “Then towards the end of high school i grew my hair out really long and hung out with a bunch of skater kids that listened to screamo.”

“You with long hair?! How long?” I ripped open an alcohol pad and swiped it across his cuts making him hiss.

“Ah-um...past my shoulders.”

“Holy shit. I could never picture you with hair that long.”

“Trust me it was a mistake. I cut it all off like my second year of college.”

“Well thank god for that.” I added a few dabs of antibiotic ointment to the cuts. They were already starting to close just a bit, a good sign that they weren't too deep. I added some bandaids around his knuckles and fingers, mostly satisfied with my handiwork. “Do you want the ice pack?”

“Nah, i'm good. Tell me, do you have a little slutty nurse outfit to put on or are you just gonna wear my shirt all night.” he smirked.

I jumped a little at the mention of his shirt. “Do you, um, want it back?”

He shook his head and leaned back onto the bed. “You look good in it.” He mumbled.

“Ah…” i twiddled with the buttons on the oversized sleeves. We stood quiet for a moment while our eyes couldn’t decide if they wanted to deflect our gazes or meet them head on. I could see a hint of pink on his cheeks that he kept trying to hide.

“Anyway, guess i'll get to bed here.” I nodded and scooted back just a bit to gather up the medical supplies. I tossed out the garbage and made my way to my bed, crawling in beneath the covers. Johnny laid beside me, his side of the covers tossed across his waist. A part of me was already wishing that he would hold me as this was basically the second time he would be staying in my bed. I wanted that feeling of him against me but maybe cuddling was way too personal. I didn't need to add fuel to the fire of my impending thoughts of a crush. Still, maybe after tonight he would give way to similar thoughts. I inched myself closer to him until i pressed my cheek to his chest making him jump up.

“What are you doing?”

I pressed my lips to his briefly. “Just...laying down.”

“You have to be on top of me?”

I pulled away, stung by his words. “Oh...no. Sorry.” I retreated to my side of the bed, facing away from him. Of course i looked like the idiot now. Being shot down like that was a blow to the ego that i should've factored in. But my stupidity got the best of me. My room was covered in silence now, the small space between our bodies seeming as vast as an abyss and full of our awkwardness. I closed my eyes then as i tried to sleep, trying to forget. Sleep didn’t come easy though. It felt like hours passed by of me being awake though my body was screaming that it was tired. It was driving me insane and Johnny’s constant tossing and turning wasn’t helping at all. I was halfway tempted to make him sleep on the couch when i felt his arm wrap around my waist suddenly. He pulled me flush against him, our chests pressed together and his head settling atop mine. Now i was utterly confused at his hot and cold signals. He could be asleep and just having a dream but i wished that it didn't have to play with my emotions.

“Johnny?” I whispered, testing to see if he was actually asleep.

He left out a soft hum, partially acknowledging me. He didn't move away from me, only closer until my face was buried in his neck and i had no choice but to be surrounded by his warmth. His willingness to finally hold me almost made up for his earlier mixed signals. In this fraction of a moment of peace everything felt utterly perfect and I wanted to stay like this forever. He was still an asshole but I could see that underneath his fuckboy exterior he was actually a human being sometimes. I sighed contently as i wrapped my leg over his hips and clutched at his bicep. His hand shifted from my waist to beneath his shirt trailing up my spine and making me flinch away at the ticklish sensation. I felt the small laugh vibrate in his throat and i gave him a small tap on his shoulder. “Don’t tickle me.”

“I’m not.” He rasped. “You’re just sensitive right here.” His fingers drifted up and down my spine again making me squirm against him.

“You freaked out when i tried to lay on your chest earlier, what's with the change of heart?” I probed.

He stood quiet for so long i thought he had fallen asleep again. “Couldn't really get back to sleep. I figured maybe you might be able to help.”

“Help?” I scoffed. “Yeah, maybe i can conk you in the head and knock you out. You'll be asleep then.”

I saw a little smile tug at the corner of his lips. “I'm sure you'd love that. For now, just stay like this.”

I swallowed hard and twirled my finger in his necklace again. “Y-yeah...sure.”

“You feel good.” His words mimicked Lucas’ from a few days ago. I didn’t know how else to respond. I stood quiet, keeping my face hidden. He pressed my hips against him harder and i could feel exactly what he wanted, what he needed. “Help me fall asleep?”

“Slut.” I finally said, rolling my eyes. Of course that’s why he decided to hold me. He chuckled and looked down at me before placing a kiss to my lips.

“Can’t help it when im with you.”

I dug my nails into his skin, my body tensing at his words and the gentle way he was rocking his hips into my residual wetness. “You’re the..” I hummed softly when i felt him press into me. “A-ahh, Johnny wait…”

He eased me onto my back, rolling onto my body and wrapping my legs around him fully. “Can I-?”

“No.” I said sternly. “I’ll beat your ass.”

“The things I do for you, Eri. Why do you have to drive me so fucking insane.” He grabbed my chin and slipped my tongue into his hot mouth almost distracting me. I clutched at his shoulders until he pulled away, reaching down to fumble through his pockets.

“Me drive you insane?” Oh, if you only knew. “I could say the same about you, jerk.”

He rolled on the fresh rubber and settled inside me again. My mind drifted to the last time we were sleepy and begging to fuck. This time it seemed even gentler, his thrusts much slower and soft hums of pleasure tickling my ear. I closed my eyes and arched into his perfect frame, keeping it close as possible.

“I’m the one that should be in an asylum dealing with you.” I panted softly, trying to keep of my facade of not falling in love with the way he felt inside me.

His large hands caressed my forearms, sliding up until our hands intertwined. He squeezed them tight making my heart speed into overdrive. I heard it pumping in my ears as a overwhelming warmth crawled into every inch of my skin. I trembled just at the thought that was clawing at my brain. Please don’t tell me i’m falling in love with him.

John/Eri Chat

(Day 1)

Hey i had a good time the other night. Ur not so bad lol

Johnny💕: Read

(Day 5)

Hey, havent heard from you in a bit

U ok?

John: Read

(Day 7)

Asshole: Read

(Day 11)

Ok…

Forget Him: Read

#johnny #Johnny Fanfic #JOHNNY SMUT #johnny suh #johnny fanfiction #johnny seo #johnny seo smut #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 smut #nct smut

250 notes · View notes

lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

1. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Uhh, I can appreciate a beautiful building, but I know nothing about architecture. I couldn’t tell you what style or what type of structure it is or anything. 2. What is one thing you look forward to this winter? I love wintertime. It’s still winter, even though it doesn’t feel like it anymore. I hate California weather. It’s basically summer with some fall, winter, and spring sprinkled in. Ugh. Anyway, I love that time of year because of the weather, the smells, the colors, the coziness of it (wearing warm clothes, drinking warm drinks, bundling up with a blanket, sitting near the fire in the fireplace), and most of all, Christmas! 3. Are you allergic to anything? How do you cope with your allergies? Tangerines, which are very easy to avoid. I do have seasonal allergies, though, which suck. The worst of it is the eye puffiness. It’s super annoying. When it happens I just keep a cold wash cloth over my eyes for awhile off and on until it goes away. 4. What is one of your favourite words, in any language, and why? Hmm. I have some, but I’m blanking at the moment.

5. How would you describe this year? Was it pleasant, satisfying, or tumultuous…? We’re just starting March, so it’s too soon to say. January and February went by fast, which was weird for January. That month usually feels like 84 weeks. Early February was awesome because I went to Disneyland for a few days. That was nice. Otherwise, it’s just been the same ol’, same ol’. Although, not as bad compared to last year when I got knocked hard on my ass with the flu and bronchitis, which then led to setbacks with other health stuff. It took me a few months to get back to my normal. It was really bad. 6. What is one thing that has been on your mind lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess. 7. Is there a picture you could share that is something you find aesthetically pleasing? I don’t feel like it. 8. Do you think others consider you very observant? Do you agree? My mom says I’m not. She and my brother like to do this thing where they peek their head into my room or stand there for a few seconds waiting for me to notice they’re there (my back is to my bedroom door) just to mess with me cause they know I’m a jumpy person. For some reason it takes me awhile sometimes. It’s usually when I’m really into something I’m watching on YouTube or doing on my computer. It’s also when I have headphones on. Anyway, if I do finally notice or they have to make themselves known I end up jumping either way cause I’m such a jumpy person. If I don’t notice on my own they’re like, “you didn’t sense me standing there???” I don’t find it amusing, but they get a real kick out of it. -___- I try to make it a point to be aware of my surroundings when out in public, though. 9. Do you celebrate a winter holiday? If so, which holiday? Christmas!

10. Are there any traditions that you look forward to doing? I love decorating for Christmas, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music, and get presents for my loved ones and wrap them. I used to like to bake, but I haven’t done that the last few years. I also haven’t decorated a gingerbread house in awhile. 11. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? All over San Francisco. If you don’t know, San Francisco is very hill-y. Lots of steep ways up and down through the city. I honestly don’t know how the hell I did it. Granted, I did have help, but still. I definitely couldn’t do it at all now. 12. Are there any clothes or items that you have and are embarrassed to wear or show in public? No. 13. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? I listen to them anyway.

14. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? I mean, my neighborhood is fine, but the city is shit. 15. What do you think is the best way to keep hair healthy? Don’t wash it everyday, good shampoo, and use some good hair creams or oils. 16. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Had a few things happen during our Disneyland trip recently that just really worked out well in our favor. 17. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? YouTube, Spotify, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. 18. What month do you think was most stressful to you and why? We’ll see how March goes. 19. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? Fantasy. 20. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? No, not particularly. I also don’t think they’re meant to be pets? 21. What is your favourite unhealthy drink that you like to consume (if you have one, that is)? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. 22. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favour or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? It’s been awhile. 23. Do you know your birthstone? What is it and do you like it or do you prefer another kind of gemstone? Yeah, it’s ruby. I think it’s pretty; I have a few jewelry pieces with rubies. 24. What are your thoughts on nihilism? Ah, is that where Eve 6 got their lyric, “Find nothing but faith in nothing?” Anyway, I’m not a nihilist. 25. When and where was the last time you were or felt lost? I’ve felt lost for a long time.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

flowerfan2 · 5 years

Text

Affinity - Ch. 4 (10.04)

McDanno, A03

A continuous story of season 10 episode codas. Steve may describe their relationship as a dysfunctional marriage, but at some point, will he and Danny take a closer look at what it really could be?

Chapter 4 (10.04)

They stay at the bar at the Hilton longer than they should, but it feels good to relax after the stress of the day. Steve loves having his team together like this, everyone safe and in the same place. Danny’s at his side, smiling and laughing, and all is right with the world.

Steve doesn’t pretend that Danny’s playful mood doesn’t affect him, and the rest of the team is well aware. Every glance over to the two of them from Lou or Tani results in a knowing smile, and it’s a feedback loop of fond approval that just keeps getting better.

Steve vows to keep doing this, gathering his ohana around him, as often as he can. He’s not a fatalistic guy, but still, he needs to make sure to appreciate what he has. Because it’s pretty damn good.

Finally Lou announces that he needs to get home to Renee, and Adam heads out with him. Quinn looks undecided, but Tani’s ears suddenly perk up when a new band plays their opening riff on the other side of the bar, and she convinces Junior and Quinn to go check it out with her.

“She loves to dance,” Junior says in explanation to Quinn, setting his hand on the small of Tani’s back so quickly that if you blinked, you would miss it.

“Sounds like fun,” Quinn responds easily. “You guys coming too?”

Steve answers for them both. “Nah, we’re good.”

Danny shoots an approving nod at Steve. Danny may have spent the day teasing Steve about dating, but he’s right on board with the more important things in life – like chilling out right here while the kids go play.

Steve’s still not sure why Danny is so fixated on finding him a date. At one point during the day Steve had turned the conversation back on Danny, trying to find out whether he’s dating Rachel, but Danny just brushed him off and went right back to trying to set Steve up. It’s a little weird.

A waiter stops by to see if they want more beer, and Steve orders them each a whiskey instead.

“Now you’re talking,” Danny says, giving him a goofy grin. They sit companionably for a while, people watching. Danny has his legs kicked out in front of him, and his chair has migrated closer to Steve’s, so they’re both looking out over the patio. It’s like when they sit on Steve’s beach, except with Bob Marley playing in the background, and considerably more tourists.

Danny’s elbow bumps Steve’s arm every once in a while, even more so when their drinks arrive.

“You did good today,” Steve says, as they clink their glasses together. “The whole team did.”

Danny takes a long sip. Steve watches as he licks his lips afterwards, tongue quickly flickering out and back again. There’s a slight flush to Danny’s cheeks, the way he gets when he’s had just enough alcohol to loosen the tension that seems to be as much as part of Danny as his ridiculous haircuts.

“Yeah, we did okay. Wish we didn’t have to go running to Wright, though. He’s an ass.”

Steve snorts. “Can’t say I disagree.”

“Definitely makes you miss Jerry,” Danny says. “Not that that’s the only reason.”

“Of course not.” Steve finishes his whiskey and considers ordering another. Danny’s almost done with his as well, so when the attentive waiter inquires, Steve nods.

Danny grins at him. “That kind of night, huh?”

“What?”

“Hope you brought your wallet.”

“Ha ha, hasn’t that joke gotten old already?”

“It’ll never get old, buddy, not until you start paying your way.”

“Hey, I paid for our drinks last time we got the team together,” Steve protests.

“You brought one lonely six-pack of beer, and then sent Junior out for more. I don’t think that counts.”

They launch into an accounting of all the ways Steve has annoyed Danny by not, in Danny’s words, being a gentleman when it comes to money, when Quinn shows up, hair tousled and eyes bright.

“Forgot my phone,” she says, finding it under a napkin on the table. “Thought I’d take some pictures. Junior’s got some interesting moves.” She grins at them. “Sure you guys don’t want to join us? The band is pretty good.”

“Nah, Danny’s a terrible dancer,” Steve says, fighting down a smile.

“I am <i>not</i> - why would you say that? Why? You’re a terrible person-” They don’t really notice Quinn leaving.

Their friendly bickering dies down, and Danny stretches back in his chair, closing his eyes. Steve finds himself admiring the way Danny’s lashes fall over his cheeks, and mentally gives himself a strong kick in the behind. He has got to stop looking at his partner this way.

As if Steve had spoken the words out loud, Danny’s eyes blink open to find Steve staring at him. “What?” Danny asks lazily, letting his head fall to the side as he turns to Steve.

Desperate to avoid actually saying what’s on his mind, Steve reverts back to their earlier conversation. “The team did good today.”

Danny frowns. “Yeah, you said that already. Team did good.”

“I mean, everyone worked well together, especially given that it was Quinn’s first day,” Steve says, searching for a way to defend his otherwise completely repetitive statement. “Could’ve been rough for her. Yumi being a spy was definitely a surprise, right? But Quinn rose to the occasion, don’t you think?”

Danny’s looking at him with a decidedly less relaxed expression than he’s been sporting for the past little while, and Steve prepares himself for the inevitable Danny rant that seems to be coming. But then something passes over Danny’s face and he seems to resign himself, leaning back in his chair again.

“Sure, she did. So long as Quinn’s the only thing rising.” Danny adds a little sneer to this, an attempt at innuendo that catches Steve by surprise.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Danny – that was – that was- did you?” Steve sputters. Did Danny just make a reference to his… private parts?

Danny grins at his discomfort. “Sorry. Too far?”

“Yes,” Steve says firmly. “You’re way, way off base.”

“I just know you tend to get, shall we say…” Danny waves his hands in the general direction of Steve’s body, including his lower half, “excited… by shows of competence on the part of the female members of our team. Especially when accompanied by crazy jujitsu fighting.”

Steve can feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “Okay, first of all, it’s not as if I even saw Quinn and Tani fighting today. Second, I do not” he waves his hands back at Danny “I do not get aroused by female members of the team doing their jobs, if that’s what you are implying-”

“Aroused? That’s a good word for it, sorry I didn’t think of that one,” Danny says, his eyes flashing with amusement. “And I beg to differ. You love it when a woman goes all bad-ass on the bad guys.”

“It’s not like that – Danny!” To be fair, Steve is aware that he has somewhat of a competence kink, but it’s not limited to the female members of the team. And he is far too professional to let it distract him at work. Usually.

“I said I was sorry,” Danny says, laughing outright now.

Steve doesn’t know why he lets Danny rile him up. Okay, he does kind of know, it’s as much fun as anything else they do together. But he got sucked into this one far too easily. “You are clearly not sorry,” he retorts.

“Eh, maybe not.” Danny snorts and laughs at the same time. It shouldn’t be as attractive as it is. “But I see you watching our newest member-” Danny breaks off, eyebrows flying up as he realizes the missed possibility of making something out of the word “member.”

Steve’s eyebrows fly up. “What is this, middle school? I promise you, I am not thinking about sex when I’m working with Quinn.” At least that’s true. He’s been too focused on assessing her skills and how she fits in with the team to even consider such a thing.

Danny just starts laughing even more, enjoying the shit out of Steve’s protests. “Glad to hear it, babe, really, nice of you to be so specific. You’re a crazy man, I don’t know why I put up with you, I can’t believe those words even came out of your mouth, but I am definitely glad to hear it-”

Steve sees it happening, knows what’s going to happen before it does, but even his reflexes aren’t enough to stop it. Danny’s tilting his chair back and waving his arms as he rants at Steve, and he pushes with a foot on an empty chair just to get a little more action in his tilt, when one of the chair legs gives out and the whole thing goes crashing backwards, taking Danny with it.

Steve lunges to catch Danny, but he can’t get there in time. He sees the chair slam down on the stone paving, and flinches as Danny’s head hits the ground with a thud.

In seconds Steve is on his knees next to Danny, hands on his head. Danny’s eyes are squeezed shut, and he’s not moving, and for a long second Steve’s heart freezes in his chest. But then Danny groans and tries to sit up. Steve grabs his shoulders, his body pressed close.

“Hey, hey, don’t move for a sec, okay?” Steve runs his fingers around Danny’s head, checking for blood.

“Ow ow ow, fuck, stop,” Danny scrabbles at Steve’s hands, but Steve just shifts and holds him steady.

“Lemme check you out, hold still.”

“Fucking hurts,” Danny says, squirming. Steve satisfies himself that Danny’s head still seems to be in one piece, and helps him detangle himself from the chair and sit more comfortably on the ground.

“Danny, open your eyes,” Steve says, one hand on Danny’s shoulder to support him, the other cupping his face. “You with me?”

Danny squints at him, blue eyes meeting his. “Where else would I be?”

“Good, good.”

There’s a small crowd gathering, and miraculously Tani is there with a bag of ice wrapped in a napkin, and Junior is herding people away from the scene. There’s a manager from the Hilton, too, looking considerably worried.

Steve holds the ice to the back of Danny’s head, and Danny curses.

“Quite a mouth on you tonight,” Steve says softly.

Danny’s leaning against him, and he half-heartedly pokes Steve with a finger. “Shut up. Ow.”

Tani crouches down next to them. “You okay, Danny? Manager says this has never happened before, apologized all over the place. Even said he’d cover our tab.”

Danny laughs into Steve’s shoulder, and then groans.

“What?”

“Figures Steve would get away with not paying again.”

Steve lets out a long breath. If Danny’s ribbing him, he’s not dying, at least probably not. They sit there for a few minutes more, the ice melting and dripping down into Danny’s collar. Finally Danny fidgets sufficiently and it’s time to move.

“Come on, let’s get you up.” Steve ducks under Danny’s arm and wraps himself around Danny’s waist, helping him stagger to his feet.

“Ow, fuck,” Danny says eloquently, closing his eyes again. Steve just holds them in place for a minute, letting Danny get his bearings.

Quinn appears next to them, head turning in all directions, eyes alert as she tries to catch up. She was getting drinks when Danny fell. “What happened?”

Danny sighs and straightens, stepping away from Steve. “Nothing, relax, it’s fine,” Danny says.

Maybe, but Steve would still rather keep holding on to Danny. Steve doesn’t think he’s particularly steady. And, you know, he’s nice to hold onto.

“Danny just smacked the ground with his head,” Tani says lightly. “Didn’t like the way it was looking at him.”

Quinn doesn’t seem convinced.

“No, really, we’re okay,” Steve says, hardly noticing that he included himself in with Danny. “You guys go back and have fun, I think we’re going to head home.”

Tani fusses over Danny a little more, whispering something in his ear that makes him huff out a pained laugh, and herds Junior and Quinn away. Steve blows out a breath, and turns to Danny, who suddenly looks even less steady than he did a moment ago.

Steve’s suspicion is confirmed when Danny ducks his head and groans again, hands coming up to cover his eyes. Danny didn’t want the new girl to see him hurting. Steve gets it. This getting old thing sucks.

“Come on, buddy, let’s go,” Steve says, wrapping an arm around Danny’s waist.

Danny sags against him. “Feels like my head’s gonna explode.”

“I know.”

They make their way slowly out through the maze that is the Hilton. It’s busy even at this time of night, and Steve steers Danny as gently as he can past groups of partying guests. He wonders if they should have walked along the dark beach instead, but then Danny would just complain about getting sand in his shoes.

Finally they make it to the street, and Steve quickly helps Danny into a waiting cab. Steve’s had a little too much to drink to think about driving, even though Danny’s fall has done a lot to sober him up. But in any case, he’d rather be able to give Danny his full attention.

Steve waits until they are settled inside the cab to say what needs to be said. “Maybe we should stop by the hospital, get you checked out.”

Danny moans again, but this time it isn’t because of his headache. “You incredible hypocrite. You would never go to the hospital for this.”

Danny’s right, of course, but Steve won’t admit it. “You hit your head really hard, Danny, and you weren’t braced for it at all.”

“We get our heads knocked around every day, Steve. I’m fine. I didn’t lose consciousness.”

And thank god for that, Steve thinks. He shifts Danny around and looks in his eyes again, just as he did right after the accident. Danny was tracking then, and he is now, no signs of serious head injury. “Any nausea? Ringing in your ears?”

“No, Steve. No. Drop it.”

I will for now, Steve thinks. But he’s keeping an eye on Danny tonight.

This becomes clear to Danny when they arrive at his house and Steve gets out too. It’s not the first time they’ve looked after each other after a grueling day at work. Danny doesn’t even protest.

Steve takes off his shoes and locks the door behind them, then does a quick check of the house, making sure everything is closed up. He finds Danny in the kitchen, looking a little green as he drinks down a glass of water. Danny rolls his eyes when Steve follows him up the stairs. Steve resists the urge to swat Danny on his perky ass – now is not the time – but his disobedient brain enjoys the sight anyway.

Steve uses the spare bathroom and gives Danny a minute to get changed. When he pokes his head into Danny’s bedroom, though, Danny is still mostly dressed, shoes in a tumble in the corner of the room and shirt untucked. He’s leaning against his dresser with his head hanging down.

Steve gently moves him towards the bed, and Danny sits with a wince. “I know you just want to sleep,” Steve says softly. “But you’ll rest better if you take these off.” He starts in on the buttons on Danny’s shirt, and it’s a sign of just how out of it Danny is that he lets Steve continue.

Danny rouses a little once his shirt comes off, taking over to undo his belt and shed his pants and socks. He climbs into bed in his boxers, waving a hand in Steve’s general direction. “Turn off the light already.”

Steve does, and then strips down to his underwear. He scrounges in Danny’s drawers until he finds the spare pair of sweatpants he leaves here, and then climbs into the bed behind Danny.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Danny mutters, face pressed into the pillow.

Steve makes himself comfortable, lying on his side. He’s staring right at the back of Danny’s head. If there were more light in the room, he could watch to see whether he’s got a bump there.

“Steven. Go ‘way.”

“Nope.” Steve pulls at the blankets until they are both covered up to their chins. It may be Hawaii, but it still gets cold at night. “You’re potentially concussed. If you won’t go to the hospital, I’m keeping a close eye on you.”

“How’re you gonna do that when you’re asleep, huh?”

“I’ll figure it out. Get some rest.” Steve has already set an alarm on his phone to go off every two hours. It’s switched to vibrate, so it won’t startle Danny. Steve isn’t leaving anything to chance.

“I think you’re an idiot but I’m too tired to argue.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. This is such familiar territory, it should have their names on it. “You must be really tired.”

Danny sighs out a long breath.

“You okay, Danno?”

“Yeah.” Danny shuffles his legs around, winding up a little closer to Steve. “You’re nice and warm. ‘S good.”

“Happy to be of service. Now go to sleep.”

Steve can’t help but get a little fixated on Danny’s breathing, watching his shoulder gently move as he inhales and exhales. He knows that Danny is probably right – he’s not injured any more than they usually are from a day like today – but that isn’t making him feel much better. It would be just their luck to survive countless gunfights and then get taken down by something as commonplace as a broken chair.

When Steve feels his own eyes start to droop, he decides it’s safe to sleep for a little while. He lifts up on an elbow, scanning Danny’s face in the dim light for any sign of distress.

“I’m really glad you’re okay,” Steve whispers, and presses a kiss to Danny’s cheek.

#H50 #Hawaii Five-0 #10.04 #Steve McGarrett #Danny Williams #Affinity #my fic

11 notes · View notes