#all i know is everything you've shared last year here (and before in your blog (rip)) had come true in an unambiguous manner

[penkura]

where you belong [2/10]

Summary: As Luffy's big sister, you've viewed it to be your job to see him become King of the Pirates in place of your absent parents, even as you try to find where it is you belong in the world. You never really expected to draw the attention of Trafalgar Law in the process.

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!reader

Warnings: Discussion of feelings of abandonment, age gap relationship (four years), brief secret relationship, mentions and heavy refences to sex, mentions of alcohol, typical One Piece stuff. Other warnings to be added if needed.

Note: Sorry this has taken so long! I wanted to really progress these two and get some moments between them, so the chapter ended up bigger than planned! Next one is a good one I think. ;) Forgot to mention last time but Reader is going to be described as shorter than Law, and that height difference can be your own interpretation (I'm 5ft tall, these men would tower over me).

I am also FLOORED at how well received the first chapter was and that we've got a taglist for this series, my gosh. You guys are so sweet and wonderful!! If I missed you on the taglist PLEASE let me know and I will add you to the future chapters! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and the beginning of Law and Reader falling for each other!

Taglist:

@pinksaiyans | @sukunas-play-thing | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog | @mineymak | @valen-yamyam16 | @shimmerxc | @luffy0s | @fluffybunnyu | @laws-wife-things | @crmnic

[Ch. 1]

You spend the next week learning more about the Polar Tang and the Heart Pirates themselves, Law taking most of your time to help you get used to things. He's made sure you understand the basic rules of the ship, for his crew, including the boiler suits, and what do in case of certain emergencies. You’re going to be working on your poisons in his office, in case anything happens, he can help you fix it. You’re honestly grateful for the time everyone has taken to help you get your bearings straight and work out where things are. You’ll be sharing a room with Ikkaku, who is so glad to have another girl aboard for as long as you are. She’s already started sharing some gossip with you, pointing out those involved so you knew who was who on top of it all.

Penguin has been extremely kind and helpful, telling you that you’re welcome to join him for night watches once you tell him you spend a lot of time writing during your shifts on the Sunny.

Shachi and Uni both showed you around some of the major maintenance areas, both promising they’d help you learn the most basic things so you can be of help if needed.

You’re about to join Bepo for a quick navigation lesson before their captain calls you, wanting to discuss somethings with you before you got too far away.

Law, although he agreed to letting you stay with him and his crew, still isn’t entirely sure what to do with you. There’s still that strange feeling in his chest when you smile at him, as you thank him for all his help and allowing you to stay, once he brings you to his office again a few days later, and he waves you off.

“You don’t have to thank me constantly.”

“I know,” you smile again and he feels that feeling that’s been hanging around, but Law tries to ignore it, “I’m just…really grateful. I know my being here may be a burden—”

“Not a burden, you’re welcome here. Everyone’s glad you’re staying around for now.”

Hearing that makes you brighten up, as Law starts to question you more about what you do for the Straw Hats, and what you can bring to his crew in the meantime. You list off everything you’ve come to learn about being at sea from being a Straw Hat, Law making mental notes on other things to ask about later.

“Any other special talents we should know about?”

You start to think, pressing a finger to your chin while you do so. Another action Law has to tell himself isn’t cute, before you grin and lean in close to him, quietly speaking.

“I can see the dead.”

Complete silence as Law raises an eyebrow at you as you continue to grin, halfway expecting him to ask for proof. Ask you to tell him about a spirit that might be hanging around the Polar Tang, or around one his crewmembers, but he doesn’t ask anything, eventually returning to a straight face.

“No you can’t.”

“…okay fine, I can’t. It’d be cool though!”

He rolls his eyes, which makes you laugh in return. Law goes to let you out of his office which you oblige by, knowing he’s done talking with you now that you’ve made your joke. He stops you with a hand on your shoulder first, you giving him a questioning look.

“I’ll help you make antidotes for your poisons. But you won’t use my crew as test subjects.”

“Ha! That’s fine, I don’t test on people anyway, just in case. Just give me some fish and I can use those.”

Giving him another grin, you walk ahead saying Bepo was going to show you something next, but Law had rudely interrupted by wanting to know what you could bring to his crew for the next two years. You’ll promise later to make extra batches of antidote for him to keep in his medicine stockpile, while Law watches you hurry down the hall and sighs.

“That’s the wrong way.”

He’s quick to follow you, grabbing your arm and bringing you back the right way, deciding he’ll join you and Bepo for whatever it was you two were discussing next. He wants to ensure you’re being given correct information and know what to do in an emergency, especially so if you need medical attention.

Atta boy, Law.

If you really could see the dead, you’d have noticed the tall, blond man with makeup and a large, black feathered coat pushing Law towards you.

+!+

“We’re approaching a winter island, everyone needs to be ready to disembark for a bit and—”

“A winter island?!”

Your outburst causes Law to stop speaking with a nod at you, and you’re gone to the crew bunks in an instant, followed by Bepo who is just as excited. Law gives a look to Ikkaku and Uni, who you’d been talking to when he came in, and both simply shrug at him. They all briefly noticed a sparkle in your eyes as you ran off, likely to change clothes and get ready to disembark, but none of them knew your intent or real interest in the snow.

It's only when Law catches you by the exit door with Bepo, excitedly talking with the Polar bear mink about what you could do in the snow, all dressed up in your coat, thick pants, boots and gloves. You and Bepo trade ideas back and forth about what to build out of the snow, or if you can get a snowball fight started.

Law hasn’t seen someone so excited for snow in a long time, he thinks not since the last winter with Lami.

Penguin joins you and Bepo by the door next, throwing an arm around your shoulders and giving you a smile.

“What’re you so excited about some snow for?”

“It practically never snows in my home town! I think it snowed maybe twice while Luffy and I lived there? Chopper is from a winter island, so when we were there, it was so exciting!”

“Haha, I’m from the North Blue, so snow is pretty normal up there. Well…the area me and Shachi are from anyway.”

“Ah,” you give a little sigh but smile yourself, “I’m so jealous. What about Trafalgar?”

“That’s…well, kind of different, but we did meet him where we used to live,” looking over his shoulder, Penguin sees Law but leans into whisper, “Probably better if you ask him another time. It’s…a lot…”

Before you have a chance to question it, Law comes up behind Penguin and tells him to go ahead with opening the door, the Polar Tang should be stable enough for you all to leave now. You put that question into the back of your mind for later, instead running out with Bepo as soon as the door opens. The excitement both of you have is almost contagious, as the rest of the Heart Pirates slowly join you outside. While some of them are tasked with scoping out the island, the rest end up with you and Bepo building snowmen for a while, though you and the mink end up making a snow polar bear the best you can even if it looks a little goofy in the end. Some pieces are a little larger than others but you still think it’s cute, even as your companion bows his head apologetically.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N], I made some things a little too big.”

“No, that’s okay, Bepo! It gives it charm, I think he’s cute!”

You reassure Bepo a few times with a smile, before the two of you go to work with others on more snow sculptures. It goes well until you get hit in the face with a snowball, thrown by Hakugan at Shachi who dodged just in time. While it makes you sneeze a bit as you brush the snow off your face, with Bepo and Ikkaku yelling at Hakugan while he shouts apologies and Shachi nearly cackles, it doesn’t upset you at all really. Yeah it kind of hurt to have a snowball hit you in the face, but hey, you mentioned a snowball fight earlier, right?

Crouching down to gather up some snow, you put on a wicked grin and fling the ball at Hakugan yourself, catching him in the back as he turns away while you laugh.

“How about a warning next time?!”

“Yeah, snowball fight!!”

Most everyone joins in, gathering up all the snowballs they could or just throwing loose snow at each other, Law watches from the side, a slight smile on his face. He’s glad everyone can take a bit to relax and enjoy themselves, he’s not sure he’s seen his crew this excited about snow in a long time, even Shachi who grew up in the North Blue. Some of you group up to get an advantage over others, Law turns to ignoring the snowball fight as Penguin and Uni come back with what they found on the island.

All is well until Law is hit in the back of the head with a snowball, keeping himself upright but turning quickly to search through everyone and find who did it as you all quiet down seeing his glare. Not a single person looks him in the eye, but they all point to you, while you cover your mouth with your hand and try to stifle your laughter.

“S-Sorry, Trafalgar,” a giggle escapes you as you glance over to him, “I… I was… hehe… aiming for Penguin… honest!”

“Oh yeah…?” Law’s voice is low, he crouches down to scoop up some snow, locking eyes with you as yours widen and you turn to run, but realize it’s futile when Law uses his Shambles to catch up and grab you, shoving the snow he’d gathered into your coat and making you screech before everyone returns to the snowball fight.

“That’s cruel!!”

“Everyone get Captain, he’s cheating!’

While the rest of the Heart Pirates aim for Law, you and their captain are honed in on each other, trading blows from snowballs for the longest time, your personal goal to knock his hat off as payback for shoving snow down your back. Luckily you’re not the one to hit him hard enough to knock the spotted hat off, but you’re close enough to grab before he does, sticking it on your own head and playing keep away once Law realizes where it’s at.

“Looks good on me, huh, Trafalgar?! I might keep it!”

“The hell you will, that’s mine!”

Once Law catches you, he doesn’t let go until he’s snatched his hat back off your head and returned it to its rightful place, keeping a grip on your arm as he notices the sky starting to get darker. The rest of the crew has settled down, stopping at first to watch you and Law until a new snowfall began.

You forget for a few minutes that Law has a hold of your arm, it’s not uncomfortable, but you feel your heart pick up a bit from it.

“It’s pretty….the snowfall.”

He nods, finally noticing he still has a hold of you and letting go, disappointment flooding you as Law calls for everyone to return to the ship. Tomorrow will be a day in town to restock, you’ll all take off again afterwards.

You volunteer at dinner to make everyone the lavender milk tea that Makino once taught you, most of the crew enjoying it, but you’re especially surprised by Law liking it, even telling you so.

It's the small smile he gives when you thank him that makes you realize you just might be starting to get a crush on him.

+!+

Law knows something is up when you don’t join the rest of the Heart Pirates for a meeting before being let off the ship. He still does his job as captain, giving out duties to everyone so they knew what to do and who would be stocking supplies, who would be checking for wanted posters, and anything he felt needed to be done this time. He’d planned for you to join him on a once around the island to look for anything of interest, but when you don’t show up, he knows something must be wrong.

“Ikkaku-ya,” Law stops your roommate before she gets too far, Ikkaku giving him her full attention, “Where’s [Y/N]-ya?”

“Oh, um…” Ikkaku shuffles from one foot to the next, not fully looking at her captain and that’s what worries him more, until she speaks again, “She isn’t feeling well…she’s not sick so she doesn’t need a check-up but, it might be best to leave her alone today, probably tomorrow too…”

That leads to Law believing your cycle had started, and he chooses not to question it further, lest he or Ikkaku feel embarrassed about the discussion. He decides to leave you be, you’ll probably join them tomorrow for island exploring, most likely with Penguin if he asks you especially. When you do show up for dinner that evening, you’re quieter than usual and Law notices how Penguin and Ikkaku are the ones to talk with you. He can’t hear anything they say, but seeing you at least smile and respond to them is enough for him to think that everything is fine, you’re just not feeling 100% and that makes sense. He’s heard you and Ikkaku complain about cramps and the like the last few months, he already knows the first day is hard for you, so he lets it go. At least you’re out and talking to everyone.

But he knows something is up the next time it happens, not even two weeks later, and it can’t be blamed on your period this time. You don’t show up to a crew meeting, you still aren’t one of his crewmates but you’ve been joining for anything interesting or important, and Law doesn’t let it show that he's a little more worried, so he stops Penguin this time and asks him the same thing, where are you and why didn’t you show up?

Penguin doesn’t fully look at Law, scratching the back of his head as he tries to find the words.

“She…just isn’t up for it today, Cap. Maybe we should let her have the day off…”

Although Law tells Penguin that’s fine, he does go off to find you, the door to your and Ikkaku’s room barely open, but he knocks to make sure you’re not indecent or anything. There’s no answer so he opens the door, not seeing you anywhere, the new assumption being that you’re in the bathroom. He turns his attention there, again knocking on the door.

“[Y/N]-ya, Penguin-ya said you weren’t felling well, are you all right?”

No response, Law furrows his brow and knocks again, saying your name a little louder this time. He swears he hears a small whimper and a sob, and that’s what makes him finally open the bathroom door, simply saying he’s coming in before doing so, but he nearly freezes when he sees you.

Nearly curled up into a ball in the corner, head buried in your arms wrapped around your knees with numerous used tissues and he just knows that if you looked up at him, he’d feel that strange feeling in his chest again, or one of heartbreak, he isn’t entirely sure which one.

Law is not trying to scare you, but when he touches your hand and says your name a third time, it makes you jump and look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes, you feel beyond embarrassed that he’s caught you like this, but it quickly turns to more tears and a bit of anger.

“Are you—”

“Get out! Go away!!” Law barely dodges the box of tissues when you throw it at him, he’s not able to dodge the mascara you toss at his head as you keep yelling at him to leave. He doesn’t really move to leave until you stand up much too quickly and start pushing him out, he’s just surprised at your reaction to him finding you crying. “Leave me alone!!”

Once he’s out the door you almost slam it shut in his face and lock it, Law doesn’t know what to make of this really.

He can handle physical ailments, mental is a little harder for him but he’s working on it for his crew, yet emotional problems are not in his wheel house at all. He doesn’t really know why you’re locked in the bathroom, hiding in a corner crying, but that look on your face gave him an idea. He recognizes it from his own past, after his family and Flevance, then again after Corazon.

It was pure grief that was written on your face, definitely from your still fresh loss of Ace, and Law isn’t sure how to help you.

He doesn’t know if he should help you, you just might turn all your grief inward and ignore any hands held out for help, even from your new friends let alone him.

“Captain? Why are you…oh.”

Ikkaku finds Law still in your room several minutes later, staring at your bathroom door, until he hears her and looks at her, an expression she can’t read on his face.

“How long?”

“A few weeks now,” she sits on the edge of her bed, not looking at Law now, “It happens randomly it seems like, or something reminds her of Ace and sets her off. His birthday is soon, so that might be it right now. Penguin and I promised we wouldn’t let anyone know, so she could grieve alone.”

“Why was it being kept a secret?”

She shrugs a bit, Law isn’t sure he’s going to get many more answers today, but then Ikkaku speaks up again.

“She doesn’t want to burden anyone with her feelings, I guess. She should be fine by dinner, Captain, she just… needs some time.”

While she is correct, and you show up again at dinner looking normal but still with a sadness on your face that he can see, Law wonders if there’s something he can do to help you. Your need to grieve and have that time alone isn’t a bad thing, he won’t deny you that when you need it, but he wants to do something for you, he still doesn’t know you well enough to know that exactly you need, but anything is better than letting you be alone.

He knows all too well how that feels.

When it happens a third time, several weeks later, you don’t show up once again, Law doesn’t even need to look at Penguin or Ikkaku, they won’t meet his eyes anyway. After he lets everyone else go, his next mission is to find you, even though he knows exactly where you are. Law isn’t sure if his plan is going to work, but he wants you to stop hiding away from everyone when you break down. It’s not because he’s angry about it, he just doesn’t want you to continue suffering alone. It’s not good for anyone to do that.

He doesn’t even knock when he gets to your room, but does so when he sees your bathroom door is closed like the last time.

“[Y/N]-ya, I’m coming in.”

“No,” you force back a sob, making sure the door is locked, “Go away!”

“I won’t.”

You haven’t experienced all the abilities Law has at his disposal, but you aren’t that surprised when you see a blue hue, and he’s in the bathroom with you not even a moment later. He’s not phased by you attempting to throw things at him again, even while you yell at him to leave you alone, you don’t need help, you don’t need anyone right now.

You’ve handled things like this by yourself your whole life, why would need help now?

“I don’t need help!”

“I’m not trying to help.”

“Then lea—”

Law doesn’t give you much more room to talk, instead grabbing your wrist and pulling you into a hug, pressing your face into his chest which causes your eyes to widen a bit and tears to flow even more.

“I’m not trying to help,” Law holds you tightly, feeling a just a bit of relief as you slowly wrap your arms around him in return while you return to crying, “but you don’t have to be alone, all right?”

“T-Trafalgar…I…I just—”

“I know, I get it. But,” he knows it’s probably going to sound hypocritical based on his own issues, but Law still feels the need to say it again, “you don’t have to do this alone.”

Law isn’t entirely sure why he’s chosen to let you cry into him, let you grip onto his shirt like he’s the only thing holding you to the earth while you continue to cry and say how it isn’t fair that Ace died, that you lost another brother (he’s going to have to ask about that later, that’s the second time you’ve mentioned it). Maybe it’s because he didn’t have anyone back then, when he lost his own loved ones. It might be that, because he saw a reflection of himself in you the first time he found you hiding away and struggling to handle your grief. While you drag the two of you to the floor, Law simply adjusts to as comfortable a position he can, he’s at least sure you’ll both be there a while. You don’t show any signs of calming any time soon.

Law doesn’t know why he came after you, but once your cries fade to nothing, not even whimpers, he’s relieved to hear you speaking to him without being upset or between sobs of anger and sadness.

“I’m sorry…for crying all over your shirt again…”

“Don’t be. It’ll wash.”

Law strokes your hair a bit while you finally smile, nodding, before he helps you up off the floor. While you wash your face, Law directs you to not worry about helping anyone out with chores or sharing shifts today, he’s already split everything up among his crew, you’re under strict orders from the doctor to rest and recover from your breakdown. He does offer to bring you something to eat and drink, which you take him up on, stopping him before he fully leaves your room.

“Thank you…Law, I appreciate this…”

He’s completely aware that’s the first time you’ve used his first name, and he notices a different feeling in his chest. It’s not the same, almost heart squeeze he’s felt before, but something more comforting. Warm almost, and he’s starting to get it more.

“You’re welcome, [Y/N]-ya.”

Ah, that’s what it is…

Law realizes he’s starting to have feelings for you, though he decides to push them down for now.

He’s not going to use your weakened emotional state to push himself further into your life, not when he doesn’t even know if he’s okay with these feelings or not. For now, he’s going to do what he said and bring you some lunch, he’ll deal with these feelings later.

It is nice to hear you call him by his given name though.

+!+

“You’re as reckless as your brother.”

You giggle a bit while Law continues to wrap bandages around your arm, shooting you a small glare while you laugh. He’s not amused, mostly because it was him you’d tried to protect and ended up getting hurt over. You shoved him out of the way of an enemy attack, receiving a deep slice across your own arm instead. Once he realized what happened, Law was furious with you, even though he knows you aren’t part of his crew, it didn’t change the fact he was trying to protect you for Luffy while your crew was apart. You were lucky, he’d told you after he forced you to the infirmary, that your attacker’s weapon didn’t have any poison on it. You’d probably be dead before he even got you there if it had been.

You just grinned and said it was the opposite, your attacker was lucky your knife didn’t have poison on it, or he’d be in worse shape than he already was from your perfect aim hitting him between the shoulders. It doesn’t cause Law any relief to hear that, he still glares and it makes you start to shrink away, averting your gaze elsewhere.

You two still don’t know each other very well, it’s only been a few months since Luffy tossed you to him as the Heart Pirates left Amazon Lily. Still, you’ve found Law is fiercely protective of his crew, his family, just as you are with the Straw Hats, and while you’re with them, you count as one of his crewmembers.

The feelings you’ve started to develop for him don’t help much, Ikkaku being the only one who knows since you’ve told her how distraught you feel over it.

How could you start falling for a rival pirate captain? It’s only a crush but it makes you feel like you’re betraying your crew sometimes.

“Law, I’m fi—”

“And what if you weren’t?” He’s nearly grinding his teeth and ties off your bandage a little tighter than he intended, making you take a sharp breath. “What would you want me to tell your brother?”

You shrug, starting to play with the end of the bandages to distract yourself from him. “Could just tell him I protected you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you jump when Law slams down the scissors on the metal plate, keeping his back to you so you don’t see how upset he really is, “My crew knows I don’t need it. They know to run if a battle might cost them their lives. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because I do this for my crewmates, too. I’ve even pushed Zoro and Sanji out of the way. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but—”

“Sorry wouldn’t bring you back from the dead.”

You both become silent, you taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment before nodding and biting your lip.

“You’re right…that’s why Ace isn’t back.”

“Hey, I didn’t—”

“Thanks for bandaging me up, Trafalgar,” Law turns around just as you jump off the table, going to leave, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Law watches you leave, letting out a frustrated sigh once you’re gone. He really hadn’t meant to upset you, it just came out, but it was also the truth. What good was ‘sorry’ if you had died and he had to tell Luffy that he'd lost another sibling, this time a blood related one? He didn’t want to have to deal with that, not when you and Luffy were still getting over Ace’s death.

He gets it, he really does, that pain doesn’t go away quickly, no matter how many false smiles you give to him or the others, or how often you laugh with them. No matter how many times he finds you crying the bathroom over you grief. It hasn’t been that long, he doesn’t expect you to be whatever is normal for you so soon. He probably shouldn’t be berating you, you’re not part of his crew so he doesn’t have the right, Law isn’t your captain.

But, you’re under his care for two years, you’re a temporary member of his crew, so you should listen to him. You’re proving to be as stubborn as Luffy is, but also just as protective as Law is.

And your progress with him, ugh. You’d finally gotten comfortable enough to call him by his first name, and now you’re back to calling him Trafalgar instead. Seven months of progress down the drain all because he was concerned, worried about you being reckless.

…why am I so worried though?

He could easily chalk it up to the fact you’re Luffy’s sister and he’s trying to protect you until you’re back with your crew, or he could even say its because of the feelings he’s developed for you, but Law doesn’t want to get into that right now.

Neither of you speak until dinner, when you run into each other right outside the kitchen and start a back and forth about who should go in first.

“You’re the captain, sir.”

“Ladies first, miss.”

You don’t like being formal, or hearing him call you ‘miss’, but you don’t want to fight about it. Not when his crew can hear and might be concerned about it.

“Crew shouldn’t eat without their captain there.”

“We don’t have that rule around here.”

Eventually you relent and go first, getting your food and taking the first free seat by Ikkaku, Law sitting beside you a moment later. You don’t talk to each other the whole time, you focus on your conversation with Ikkaku while Law responds to anyone speaking to him. You barely even notice when Law takes the roll he really didn’t want to have on his plate, and moves it to yours, almost like a peace offering that you two are okay, he’s not mad at you for trying to protect him anymore. You do give him a smile when you notice, which he returns with a nod before leaving for his room.

You sigh a bit, looking back to your plate and keeping your smile to yourself.

Things will be okay.

+!+

Over the last nearly ten months, Law has learned a few of your quirks. When you work on your poisons, you mark things three times over to ensure you have the correct amounts listed, you almost always strike up conversation with him about anything that comes to mind, even if Law doesn’t answer you.

Sometimes he’s caught you biting your pencil or pen while making notes, it’s one of your cuter quirks.

On nights you can’t sleep, like tonight, he can easily find you in the kitchen, brewing up some tea to help you fall asleep, and that’s where Law decides he has to talk to you. You’ve both moved past your argument from a few months ago, it’s like it never happened now, but he feels the need to speak with you about something important.

No, not his feelings, he’s going to ignore those as long as possible. He recognized them after you’d had an emotional breakdown, he’s not going to admit that especially, he doesn’t want you to think he has a kink for crying or something, absolutely not.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, Law,” you look over your shoulder for a second with a smile, turning back to your tea, “Couldn’t sleep, though some tea might help.”

“Your usual then?”

Nodding, as you finish off your tea making, Law sits at the table and waits for you to join him, knowing you’ve made him a cup of lavender milk tea too. You’d started doing that and either taking it to his office before you head to bed or having him join you in the kitchen where you have small conversations before you both turn in for the night.

You’ve gotten quite comfortable with Law, your own feelings for him aside. He’s been helpful with your poison and antidote creations, ensuring your ratios are correct and helping you when they aren’t. You’ve started discussing books you’ve both read, you were shocked to find he enjoyed the Sora Warrior of the Sea comics. His being such a nerd over them never struck you as odd thankfully, Law even letting you borrow a few of his copies so you can give it a try yourself.

He makes you feel safe and comfortable, you really enjoy being with Law.

Law thanks you when you hand over the mug of tea, taking your seat across from him to enjoy your own, settling into a welcomed silence. With how rowdy his crew can be at times, you get why Law hides himself away in his office most of the time, and you’re grateful that he lets you share the space when needed.

“I know you said I didn’t have to,” Law looks over to you as you speak, an eyebrow raised, “but thank you again, for letting me stay. I really appreciate the help you’ve given me.”

“Like I’ve said, its no problem. Everyone’s glad you’re here.”

I’m more than glad you’re here.

There’s a soft smile on your face that Law enjoys seeing, and he honestly hopes you won’t lose it after he talks to you.

“I wanted…to tell you something.”

“Go for it,” setting your mug down on the table, you rest your elbows there with your chin in your hands, “I’m all ears, Law.”

He's almost fighting himself on if he should or shouldn’t, maybe another time. It’s late after all, you probably want to go to bed now that you’ve had your tea. It’s making him sleepy too, but the anxiety he feels is almost nullifying the tea’s effects.

Taking a deep breath, Law finally speaks up again, not meeting your eye.

“I want to tell you about my past,” that makes you perk up, remembering what Penguin had said to you months ago, “But I don’t think I can tonight. It’s…”

“A lot…?”

He nods, which you return, realizing this must be more than what Penguin could’ve meant, it has to be hard for Law to dredge up whatever memories he has of his childhood and teenage years, of everything that led him to where he is now.

Everything that’s leading him down the path he’s chosen.

“So,” when he finally looks up at you, you’re not surprised at how tired Law looks, it has to be taking a lot for him to do this, “I want to set a time in a few days, where you and I can sit, and I can tell you everything. “

You need to know before I could ever tell you my feelings anyway.

“Law,” Nodding, you quietly reach out your hand to his, not wanting to scare him off, “Just tell me whenever, and I’ll make myself available to listen, okay?”

After he agrees, Law offers to walk you back to your shared room with Ikkaku, which you take him up on even though you know the way. The Polar Tang is only so big, but it’s nice to have him by your side. Once you reach your door, Law turns to leave and you stop him, grabbing his shirt sleeve and leaning up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, his eyes widening just a hair.

“Thanks for walking me…and trusting me, Law. See you in the morning.”

You don’t give him a chance to say anything in response before you enter your room and close the door, sighing heavily as you bring yourself to the floor, Ikkaku watching you from her bed.

“Man, you’ve got it bad for the captain, huh?”

“…it’s that obvious?”

“As obvious as the fact he’s the same for you, girlfriend.”

While you don’t believe Ikkaku is correct in that statement, Law isn’t able to bring himself to move for several minutes, frozen in shock that you decided to kiss his cheek and just run off to bed.

It looks like you’ve got more to talk about than just his past now.

[highvern]

Track 1: All of the Girls You Loved Before - Taylor Swift

“All of the girls you loved before, Made you the one I've fallen for // Every dead-end street, Led you straight to me”

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Fem!Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: established relationship, past jealousy

Length: ~500

Note: First part of the Mixtape Series! Wooooo! Very fun to write and looking forward to everyone's reactions to the other parts of the series. Stay tuned!

Like, comment, reblog, enjoy!

Mixtape Series: Me & You Masterlist

main masterlist

This blog is intended for 18+ only! MDNI or you'll be blocked!

“I’m fine, Cheol.”

Seungcheol taking you out to celebrate your promotion quickly devolved into an awkward dance around the elephant in the room.

One of his exes sat across the room, dining with a man around her age. You recognized her from pictures before you and Seungcheol started dating, when you were barely even friends and neither of you knew how perfect you were for one another.

“Are you sure?”  Seungcheol asks for the nth time, guilt trickling across his face. 

“Of course I’m sure.” You confirm, squeezing his hand wrapped in yours across the table.

Seungcheol heaves a heavy sigh. The last thing he ever wanted was for you to think he would care about someone else. You knew it wholeheartedly. Seungcheol didn’t see anyone beyond you since your first date years ago.

The number of women he’d dated or hooked up with in some capacity had been a tough pill to swallow at the beginning of your relationship. A run in with one of them years ago was the catalyst for the first fight of your budding relationship, leaving you both in limbo at what to do. You hated feeling jealous and insecure because of it but Seungcheol assured you there were no lingering feelings; and he backed his words up with actions that proved he was sincere.

Eventually, you were something close to thankful for your boyfriend’s past partners. Thankful they taught Seungcheol to navigate love; the good, the bad, and the ugly. For helping him mature into the man sat in front of you. Seungcheol, who from day one let you know where you stood, who didn't leave you questioning his intentions, and enthusiastically pursued you in a way you had never experienced before. The one who doesn't take you for granted and still manages to sweep you off your feet after years together. The man who argues with you, not against you when you disagree; constantly reminding you that you're a team and you'll figure it out.

Seungcheol, who lets you baby him as much as you want because his past relationships didn't give him the space to rely on his partner. Who shares his fears and doubts even if it makes him feel vulnerable, knowing you're there for him through everything and he no longer needs to shoulder his burdens alone.

All of the events of his past led you both here. Engaged, happier than you've ever been, with a man who couldn't been more perfect for you.

“If you want to leave we can. I’ll find somewher–” 

“Baby, if I got upset every time we ran into someone you dated, we’d never leave the house.” You joke.

“I didn’t date that many girls!” Seungcheol pouts in a way that’s more than ridiculous for a man his age.

“It doesn’t matter. Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

Leaning forward, you wait until Seungcheol comes close enough to whisper, “Because they led you to me. And I’m the only one you want, right?”

“Of course.” Seungcheol whispers back.

“So when I say I don’t care, I really don’t.”

-

Taglist: @tomodachiii

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi, are there any recommendations you have for me for my writing process? My process is extremely long because I keep getting stuck. Got an idea for a conflict, okay. Stuck on fleshing that out. Eventually done. Stuck on my characters, who they are, and their roles. Finally get that done. But now I need to figure out backstory. Stuck. Figure out the plotline/solution to the conflict. Stuck. It's MONTHS between these steps of writing a story. I'm on the verge of giving up...

Slow and Clunky Writing Process

Please don't give up. The world needs the stories only you can tell. ♥

There is so much information out there about plot, story structure, conflict, goals, outlining, backstory, plot points, pacing, theme, character arc... blah, blah, blah... it can get incredibly overwhelming, especially if you can't seem to get to point of actually writing the story.

Having said that, I think it's so, soooo important to know that you don't actually have to worry so much about that stuff at the beginning.

The truth of the matter is, your first stories are probably not going to be the stories you publish. That doesn't mean you can't publish them, it's just that most of us will write two or three, maybe four or five stories before we write one that's good enough to share. As a result, what typically happens is you get a little bit better at all of those things (conflict, pacing, character arc, etc.) with every story you write. Keep learning about those things as you go, and try your best to incorporate them into each story, but you shouldn't be looking for a level of perfection that they hold you back.

Think of it like this: if you decided you wanted to build your own home, you wouldn't read a bunch of blog posts and books about home construction, maybe take a workshop or two, and then start building, expecting to build a house you could actually live in. Instead, you'd probably start by building some smaller structures... maybe a dog house, a patio with pergola, maybe help a friend split a big room in their house into two rooms. You'd take on smaller projects to put your budding skills to use and practice them. Then, when you got really good at everything, you might be ready to build your house.

Writing is the same way. You can't take all of that information and pour it into a perfect, flawless story in one go round. It's too hard, too overwhelming, and you never get a chance to actually hone your budding skills.

So, start by just writing the stories you want to write... just for fun... just to practice your skills. Don't worry if your conflict isn't perfectly fleshed out. Don't worry if your pacing is wonky or your character arc is unsatisfactory. Focus first on just writing the story. Then, you can hone your revision skills by trying to improve those things once the first draft is complete. Put the story through two or three revisions, and you're really sharpening those skills. When you go to write and revise the next story, it's going to be a little bit easier.

You'll know when you get to a point where you've written something that's publishable. You'll still need to do two or three revisions to get it where it needs to be, but the whole process will be much easier.

And one last thing: don't worry about backstory unless it's critical for helping the reader understand the world of the story, the conflict, or who the character is/why they do what they do. ♥

Happy writing! I promise it gets easier!!!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[lil-melody-moon]

I think I said I'll give my thoughts about Keith's biography when I'm done with it and I'm almost done. Only afterthoughts left to read, but I've read all about his life and it was devastating to see how much of a wreck he was at the very end. Longer talks under the cut - and additionally, if the anon bitch is scouting my blog, feel free to read it as well and shit yourself in the process

Either way, my dears, read if you're interested 💜

@jimmysdragonsuit13 I think you'll be interested!

And @burn-on-the-flame I think you've asked about the opinion on the biography? Wait, let me search *a few seconds later* Yep, it was you! Come and read my thoughts about the book, if you want 💜

So, since the day one of my dear mutuals @m-faithfull told me about Keith's biography by Tony Fletcher in the last year, I was persistent to get it. I had hopes that maybe it was translated to Polish, but as it turns out, probably only Pete's autobiography was so I ended facing the fact that I will have to read it in English. And that meant paying an insane amount of money for a new copy (120 zloties for a book! - around 31,39$ or 23,75£)

But one day I thought to search for an used copy, hoping that maybe some poor sod bought it before me and to my surprise there were two copies, one for 40 zloties (10,46$ or 7,92£) and second for 30 zloties (7,85$ or 5,94£). I opted for the 40 zloties one, knowing what state can used copies of books be. The lower the price the more possibility of it having missing pages, the cover torn off etc etc. Here came my bestie @juliearchery107 who wanted to buy me it for birthday, she did, we've met at 14th of August and since I've stepped my foot in the flat and got everything answered, started to read it.

And oh dear Lord is that book a rollercoaster!

It starts innocently - if we skip the foreword, which hints that it'll not be an easy read - introducing Keith as the charming child who was up for jokes, the one who later stopped attending school and wandered about until he got his first drum kit, had a few lessons on how to play them, joined Beachcombers and from there went to The Who to the band that meant everything for him, to then find the girl he fell for like you do when you first fall in love while finding your soulmate, following with showing a possessive and nasty jealousy towards her, fucking things up in their marriage, becoming so abusive that she finally left him, which lead to depression, more alcohol, more drugs, which then started to develop in very serious problems, them piling up in Los Angeles to the level of Keith becoming a wreck by the end in 1978, in the meantime, finding support in his girlfriend - who I have to say, I'm thankful that she was there for him even if I know how impossibly difficult it was for her.

The way things went down in his life can be traced precisely with this book and that just shows how incredibly well put it is and how the narration is not in any way subjective, but objective almost through the entire reading - foreword has author's thoughts and the afterthoughts, but that is a given. Yet, I have to praise such objectivity, because a lot of biography authors cannot help themselves but write their subjective opinions, pushing their perspective onto readers, instead of showing facts and trying to find one possible outcome of a situation that has various versions - and with Keith and the myths that are told about him, it was a hell of a work. It also shows sometimes that author is sentimental to a lot of things, as being stated in foreword that he himself is a fan of Keith and let's be honest. There's no one better to write a book about an idol then a long time fan who's dedication will never burn out.

As for my thoughts... The first 300+ pages were okay to read. I had a blast, laughing at various points, even going as far to share one of the moments that was the most funny to me on his birthday. But the last 200+ pages? Oh dear Lord... Just oh dear Lord.

Just by the photos I have a TON of I could realise that Keith was a wreck in 1978, but I've never fucking expected it to be this bad. I knew about the drug abuse, knew about the alcohol abuse as well, but I didn't expect it to be that bad - to the point of having a few attempts on rehab, failing at them, proceeding to have alcoholic paranoia, fucking seizures because of the withdrawal, insecurities, self-confidence, self-worth teared to shreds, memory almost gone - it's very typical for alcoholic to say one thing and then forget about it 5 seconds later and them saying: "I didn't say that" - depression, maniacal depression even appearing later on, developing a split personality disorder, being unable to be controlled by anyone while the fits of anger were appearing more and more frequently, cheating getting out of hand and I could go on and on AND ON.

Reading about all of this and not being able to tell you, or even not being able to take pictures of fragments to send to bestie to let her see how bad it was because I would have to scan those 200+ pages to let her understand the circumstances should say a lot. Never did I like any mentions of Keith relocating to Los Angeles and for a good reason. That city only made it far worse for him and his tale there only shows that maybe, just maybe, letting your dreams come true ain't that fun as you expect them to be. Some might be, but in most cases, they aren't. You always gotta keep going, always have a goal in front of you to keep going and if you reach the end of the road - like Keith did many times throughout the tale - you might just realise "That's it? Nothing else?" and not know what to do with yourself.

Additionally, this was double hard for me to read, because at the beginning of March I've lost a dear friend of mine. It was a tumblr friendship, I'm talking about Anja here - she went by the url whothefuckisanja - and I often joked with her that her alcohol problem - it was severe, very very severe - is similar to Keith's and as it turns out, my jokes about that were brutally real. She also developed drug addiction later on as well and her life started to fade away slowly, very slowly. I only recently, a few months ago, realised that I saw her happiness fade away, realising also that that one day where she thanked me for being her best friend the entire year - our friendship lasted a full year - being grateful as to no one else before that that was her silent goodbye and a solid thank you, before she met the same fate as Keith, only much much earlier. And I'm not exaggerating about "the same fate". She wanted to go sober, as I heard. Pills did it for her, she fell asleep and never woke up again.

She once said to me, because I was there, wanting to help her with her growing alcohol problem that got worse at December, even if it were only futile tries through text: "Don't try to help an alcoholic" and I might add to it "because it'll leave you exhausted and terrified while you see the beloved one become a wreck."

I can say that what I've read about Keith I've almost experienced with her. She was very similar to him in many ways, not only addiction wise, but she was also very fun to be around, very easy to be befriended, generous beyond belief, creative and most of all, a good person at heart. So this reading journey was almost like a reflection of the year from March 2023 to March 2024. I remember now that she once joked that she's Keith Moon reborn and damn you, you bastard if you were right.

But I also have to get back on track and say this: even if I said all of this above, I somehow felt that it was way to familiar. Not like with what I said about Anja, but more like "I lived through that" kind of way. I didn't feel this throughout the entire tale, but at the last 200+ pages I did, especially when the seizures started appearing. In the last year, when I wrote my first fic with me and him - not published - I pondered if he had any alcohol withdrawal symptoms and I somehow guessed the depression, insecurities, insomnia problem and seizures. I have no idea how I knew that, I just did, implementing them in the fic.

Could be a coincidence, but there are too many with him in my life. Yet, there was a moment where I've stopped reading. It was right at the end, at the description of the funeral, at the date of it, which is 13th of September, according to the book.

A year ago, on September, while listening to random songs on spotify, suddenly "Love ain't for keeping" started playing. I looked at who it was, saw The Who and I was tempted to give "Who's next" album a listen - I was taking small steps to giving them a good listen from May, but this was the final push. That was on 11th of September.

I wanted to listen to "Who's next" on 12th of September, but I somehow hadn't. I could have been busy, but I know for sure I somehow forgot about it and moved listening to the next day. On night from 12th of September to 13th of September I had a dream with Keith, from which I only remember that we've talked about something. Keith was very happy, overjoyed even and all of a sudden he started pinching my cheeks, wanting to make me laugh, which he succeeded at.

And then on 13th of September I've finally listened to "Who's next", my obsession truly started and then a voice in my head saying "Welcome home" was heard by me. It was a male's voice, speaking fluent English.

True, I was waiting for a moment that will make me stop in my tracks and like during the documentary I've watched about Keith, where I've got a grasp of his behaviour, I had to pause the video with the realisation that his behaviour was something I knew somehow, but I didn't expect to get obsessed about The Who and Keith at the exact date his funeral took place.

You may call me delusional, I don't care. It's just there's too many coincidences with him appearing in my life at certain moments that I start believing these are not mere coincidences - if certain ghost will start appearing at the beginning of September, as I took notice he did for the past two years, I will flip!

In conclusion, I love the book, will read it to the end tomorrow probably. I've cried at the end, less than the first time I heard about Keith's death, but I did. This book only made me love him even more and I truly will never stop loving him.

This is the exact image of my feelings to him after reading about his life - I'm the tiny pumpkin, answering on the question:

Credits to the artist who made it, not mine, I cant't draw this well XD

[bakuliwrites]

M6 Proposing to MC

Hi everyone! So I decided I would repost some of my favorite headcanons from my old blog. Sorry if you've seen these already, but I just wanted to have them up on my Tumblr (in addition to where they are on AO3). Just as a heads up: I do not take requests. Hope you enjoy :) As with all my headcanons: Apprentice/MC is gender-neutral unless otherwise specified. This isn't new content, just organizing my new blog and transferring stuff from my old one. This will be part of headcanon Tuesday on my blog.

You and Asra have been together for a long time now, long enough where people just sort of assume you're already married. You live together, you run your shop together, you travel together, and so on. Nothing has really been stopping you, it's just that the two of you have been so busy these last few years. Asra really wants to make it official with you, though. You're the absolute love of his life. He hardly remembers a time before you. You've been on a great many journeys together, but he wants to go on even more. So he starts planning...

One evening, when you close up shop, Asra tells you he has a special surprise waiting for you. He's got that mischievous glint in his eye that he always gets when he's up to something. You can't help but laugh as Asra instructs you to wear something that you'd wear to the beach ("Like a swimsuit?" you ask, skeptically. The smirk on Asra's face grows wider and he shrugs, "I don't know. Whatever you wear to the beach." So helpful, Asra)

Asra guides you down to the shoreline, but doesn't stop there. He keeps going until you get to this secluded little cove. From here, you can see the far off lights of Vesuvia twinkling under a dark, velvet sky. Asra lets you pause to take in the view before beckoning you to follow him again. He leads you into a small cave, pitch black at its entrance. You're about to ask him where on earth he's leading you when all of a sudden you're met with bursts of magic like tiny fireworks and glowing mist swirling gently above and around you. Asra smiles softly at you, that impish glint growing brighter with each step you take.

The cave leads out to a small alcove that opens up onto the water. It's absolutely gorgeous. It's like you can see the whole ocean from here. It's here that Asra sets up a small picnic for you, filled with all your favorite foods and desserts and drinks! "MC, will you lay out the blanket for me? I have to grab something from the basket," he asks. You don't think much of it, though there's something a bit strange in his voice. When you're finished with your task, you whirl around and there's Asra, on one knee, holding out a beautiful, bohemian style ring. "MC, you have my heart, and always will. We've been on all kinds of journeys together. But I want to go on even more with you. I wanted to know if you'd like to share all of life's many adventures with me?" His voice is calm but his hands are shaking. And when you say yes, happy tears stream down his face. He slips the ring on your finger before crashing his lips into yours. Asra is utterly delighted💜

Nadia has been a bit wary of marriage since her first one turned out so poorly. But with you, everything's different. She's ecstatic, actually, to marry you and has been planning her proposal for basically an eternity now. She wants it to go just right. She has checklists, plans, spreadsheets, and so on for this proposal (none that you're privy to, she keeps them very well hidden). She almost had a heart attack one day when you walked into her office while she was working out some bugs in her plans (though she kept her cool so well, you didn't even notice).

The day she's planning to propose to you, however, everything goes wrong. The florist brings the wrong flowers (Nadia had specifically asked for orchids, but they brought white roses and she shudders, thinking of Lucio). All of the musicians she had in her string quartet canceled, except for the bassist (she sighs, supposing you could have a good background beat when she proclaims her undying love for you). And to top it all off, it's pouring rain (she was planning on proposing out on the veranda, under the pinks and oranges of a beautiful sunset, but alas). She's not upset, just extremely disappointed. All that planning and for what? No matter, she'll simply have to switch gears, she tells herself calmly (but she is anything but calm).

She sends everybody home (florist, bassist, caterers, and so on). When you enter the palace, you're practically drenched from your walk from your shop. Nadia is waiting for you, prepared with a towel and warm tea (or cocoa, whatever you prefer). She directs you to one of the many fireplaces and sits you down on a chaise lounge. You beg her to come snuggle up beside you, excited to have her all to yourself that evening, but she simply stands before you, fidgety and anxious looking. She's acting strangely, her crimson eyes hardly able to make contact with you. "Nadia, what's wrong?" you venture, and all of a sudden, Nadia freezes like she's just seen a ghost. You've never seen her this worked up before. It's quite alarming, actually!

You open your mouth to say something more, worry furrowing your brows, when all of a sudden, Nadia takes a deep breath. She kneels down to the ground in front of you and takes both your hands in hers. Her air of calm returns and soothes you out of your initial concern. "MC," she begins in her dulcet tone, "I'd planned out this- elaborate evening for us and, of course, I was thwarted," she laughs a little, her smile crinkling the corner of her eyes, "It's a long story, but suffice to say, just having you here, snuggling up by the fire together- well, I'd say that's a pretty perfect evening, in and of itself. So I'll take this perfect moment to ask you..." She pulls something out from the pocket of her dress. It's a square, velvet box that she opens, revealing an elegant, sparkling ring. "MC, will you marry me?" She holds her breath, watching your stunned face as you go through a thousand different emotions at once (all of them good). When you say yes, she exhales, tears falling gently down her cheeks as she slips the ring on your finger and presses her lips tenderly to yours 💜

Julian (oh, Julian). He's probably been carrying a ring around in his pocket for months now, waiting for the right time to propose to you, but too nervous to do it. You fluster him like no one else does. Every time he thinks he's found the right moment, a little seed of worry stops him (what if you say no? what if you say absolutely no? what if you just look at him like he's crazy and say nothing? what if he drops the ring???). Literally nothing is stopping him, except his own anxiety about how he thinks you could potentially maybe possibly react.

The two of you are wandering the streets of Vesuvia one afternoon, hopping from market to market, looking for some ingredients. There's nothing really special about today, but when Julian looks at you, he feels his heart just swell with adoration. This was the day, he thinks. The time is right. But he wants to do it somewhere a little more private, a little less hectic. So Julian directs you to that garden the two of you once hid from the guards in. "What are we doing here?" you question, raising a perplexed eyebrow at him. He merely smirks, waggling his eyebrows in return, "You'll see." He tells you there's something interesting about one of the statues and directs you to take a look at it. You acquiesce, with a bit of hesitance, but Julian is Julian, so him acting sort of weird like this isn't that much of a surprise. It's obviously all a ploy so he can distract you while he pulls out the ring.

So, of course, now that it's the right moment and Julian feels a swell of confidence, he realizes, Good God, I've lost the ring. He could've sworn it was in his coat pocket. Like, it was there yesterday, wasn't it? He's frantically patting himself down, feeling every inch of his coat, his pants. He even looks in his boots. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Did it fall out last night at the Rowdy Raven? Was he pickpocketed? Was there a hole in his pocket? What on earth was he to do now that he didn't have the ring? He whirls around, looking frantically for something circular he might be able to use as a replacement until he finds it again. And then he wonders if he should just hold off?

"Hey, Julian, honey," your voice pipes up from behind him, startling the poor man out of his thoughts. He's even more alarmed (and embarrassed) when he turns around and sees you holding up the little black box that was storing your ring. "I think you dropped this," you say, trying everything in your power to not burst into giggles, "It was on the ground right in front of you." Of course it was. You hand the box over to Julian and with a small smile add, "I'll pretend I didn't see it." You give him a small peck on the cheek before turning back to the statue he'd directed you to. Loudly and overenthusiastically, you exclaim how interesting the statue is, allowing Julian to pull himself together. With a renewed wave of confidence, Julian kneels to the ground. "MC?" he begins, gaining your attention again. You whirl around, a knowing smile tugging at your lips as you’re greeted by Julian's blushing face. "I know I've rightly fumbled this proposal," he laughs, his eyes already glimmering with tears, "But you've turned this salty old dog into a bumbling, flustered, happy mess. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Would you be the captain to my first mate?" You burst out laughing, and Julian's heart stops in his chest. "Of course!" you cry, practically throwing yourself into his arms. His worry is quickly forgotten as he slips a timeless, antique ring on your finger and captures your lips in his 💜

Portia is quite good at keeping secrets, so while the two of you have discussed getting married, she absolutely does not let on about her plans of proposing to you. You are totally in the dark about them, much to her delight. She has the perfect thing planned for the two of you! She goes out shopping for everything she needs for a romantic dinner at her cottage. She even manages to subtly find out from you what kind of ring you'd want. The night before she plans to propose to you, she's so giddy, she can hardly sleep!

The next morning, she lets you sleep for however long you need to (but not too late, she's got a schedule to keep to!). Once you've gotten ready for the day, Portia takes you out to go on an adventure! Since you both have the day off, it's time to do some exploring. She won't tell you where you're going, though. "You'll just have to trust me!" she winks, taking your hand in hers and bounding off towards town. The two of you start in the markets, where you first met. Portia describes to you how positively adorable she thought you were on your first meeting. She'd spilled all those pomegranates everywhere, but you were so kind to help her pick them all up! She was taken with you immediately.

Portia takes you on an entire tour of Vesuvia, stopping at all the places that are significant to you, and even places you just pass every day that you hadn't even realized carried so much meaning. With each stop, she describes something important about your relationship with her. "It was here that we had our first kiss, and there that we first danced. Oh! And here's where that guy tried to pickpocket you-" But you cut in to finish the story, bubbling with laughter, "And you started threateningly waving that basket at him! The look on his face! He was so scared of you, Portia." The two of you double over with laughter. Once you calm down, you start walking back to Portia's cottage. "Why are you doing all of this today?" you question, smiling gently and feeling a bit confused. Portia shrugs, cryptically responding with, "Just feeling a bit nostalgic, I guess."

The sky is bright with the colors of the sunset when you finally return to the cottage. As you're about to enter, Portia whirls around and exclaims, "Oh! Can you grab one of those yellow squash from the garden? I need it for our dinner tonight!" You head back towards the garden, not even an inkling of suspicion in your mind. You spot the best looking, ripest squash in the bunch and start to tug and twist at its stem when you notice something glinting on one of the curly vines shooting off of it. It's a ring, you realize as you pick it up, and quite a lovely looking one, too! It's bright and colorful. You turn to call to Portia, wanting to share your discovery with her, but when you whirl around, she's already kneeling before you, a bright beam on her face. She giggles at your flabbergasted look and says, "MC, this is where I want us to make our home. Well, our home we can come back to in between adventuring. But I've also realized that no matter where we go, I think I've found my home in you. Would you do me the honor of being my adventure companion, for life?" Before you can even say anything, Portia knows your answer by the way your eyes light up, but she waits for you to say it anyway. When you're finally able to speak, Portia slips the ring on your finger before pulling you into a tight embrace, pressing her lips fervently against yours 💜

Muriel wants to marry you so badly, but he's so worried about what you would say if he proposed to you. Do you even want to marry him? Is that something you've even thought about? Is that something you could even comprehend with him? He works himself up into an anxious mess, but he doesn't show it. But you've helped him discover how to be kinder to himself, to be more confident. He loves you with all of his heart and wants to spend the rest of his life making you happy.

Muriel sets to work immediately. He doesn't have any grand plans for your proposal, but only because he knows you'd each want something quiet. His first order of business is the ring. He decides he's going to craft it himself. Secretly, he gathers all his materials and works during times that you're out of the house. If he doesn't know how to shape metal or set a stone into a ring, he learns. He'll spend the rest of his life, learning and growing with you, and he's delighted. After he finishes the ring (and he's sure that it's absolutely perfect), he starts to practice what it is he's going to say. He sits in front of Inanna and goes through a variety of speeches he's worked out in his head. But absolutely none of them seem right. He fumbles over the words, starts to feel emotional when he delves into the intricacies of his love for you (why can't he stop crying when he talks about how grateful he is to have met you? how is he even going to propose at this rate?!).

Finally, Muriel settles on writing it down. He drafts a short, but sweet little proposal and rolls it up. He keeps it hidden somewhere you won't go looking and waits for the right opportunity to bring it out. Now there's the question of when he's going to propose. He wants the timing to be just right. But what would "just right" be? He could cook you a nice dinner and propose when you return from the shop one day. He could hide the ring in the chicken feed and wait for you to discover it while you're helping him feed them (but then there was the risk of accidentally feeding a chicken the ring, and the thought spooks him). Brainstorming practically keeps him up all night. And absolutely nothing he comes up with seems right.

The next morning, Muriel rises before you do. He's hardly slept, but he simply can't stay in bed any longer. The anxiety he's getting from trying to come up with the perfect proposal is just too much. He sits down at your breakfast table and sips at a mug of that lemon tea you bought him a few weeks ago. It's warm and citrusy and comforting. As he mulls over even more possibilities, he gazes across the room at your slumbering form. You look so peaceful and calm. He feels a swell of adoration for you, and suddenly, an idea occurs to him. He quietly calls Inanna over to him and enacts his plan. As the sun starts to stream through the windows of the hut, you groggily stretch and open your eyes. The first thing you see is Inanna padding over to the bed, carrying something gently in her mouth. "Good morning, Inanna. What's that you've got there?" you begin sleepily, reaching for whatever it is she has. It's a little wooden box with a small scroll attached to it. Curious, you unroll the piece of paper first. In Muriel's messy handwriting is written, "MC, you've shown me how to love myself. I hope to be able to show you how much I love you, too. For the rest of my life, I promise to cherish you. Will you marry me?" Speechless, you open up the wooden box. Inside is an intricately carved ring with a raw emerald in the center. You look up to see Muriel striding towards the bed, a blush spreading across his cheeks. You toss aside the covers and throw your arms around him. "Yes, Muriel! Yes!" you cry, happy tears streaming down both your face and his. He pulls you into a warm embrace and presses his lips tenderly to yours 💜

Lucio is incapable of keeping a secret, so you pretty much know that he's going to propose to you pretty soon. You've heard him (loudly) discussing it with his friends and attendants, trying to plan out the perfect day. You don't really hear the details, but you definitely know it's coming. Lucio is beside himself with glee during the planning process. He has so many ideas, it's actually hard for him to settle on just one.

First order of business is the ring, but he's pretty much got that covered right away. He's had it custom made and it's as elaborate and glamorous as possible. There's no way he's letting your elegant hands be tarnished by anything less than the best. Second order of business: the flowers. Your favorites, of course, and then a plethora of white roses. He wants bouquets upon bouquets. You have to be surrounded by flowers, wherever it is that he ends up proposing to you. Then there's the venue. The palace gardens? A yacht party? A masquerade ball? There are so many brilliant possibilities, can't he just do all of them? Lucio, after some talking down from some of the other M6, settles on the finest restaurant in Vesuvia (but he has some extra surprises in the day for you). He scores you the best seats in the house and makes all kinds of special requests for the menu.

The day of the proposal, you're awoken with breakfast in bed, and your first set of bouquets. Lucio is ecstatic, practically bouncing off the walls. He promises you a day of luxury and non-stop fun! It's all a bit overwhelming, but you can tell Lucio put a lot of work into trying to plan something elaborate and romantic for the two of you. There's a carriage ride around Vesuvia (with more flowers), a couples massage/spa day before a light lunch (and even more flowers), a hot air balloon ride in the evening (and even more flowers, did Lucio just massacre an entire field of flowers?). All the while, Lucio makes sure to tell you all the things he finds adorable about you and all the things he loves. "MC, I think you and I are the greatest couple in Vesuvia. No, this side of the continent. No! The whole entire world," he proclaims as you look out over the sprawling streets of the city from where you hover above in your hot air balloon. You simply laugh at all of his grandiose claims, laughs that Lucio silences with sneaky kisses.

Upon landing, you set out for your dinner. He really did score not only the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in Vesuvia, but the best seats in the house. You're seated on the balcony, overlooking the water below. The breeze is lovely and the sky is twinkling with starlight. Lucio has made arrangements for your meal already. They come in tiny tasting portions, but there's plenty of food so there's no need to worry about not getting enough. Over dessert, Lucio holds your hand, entwining his fingers with yours and staring rather impishly into your eyes. He wears a mischievous smirk and you have a feeling you know what's coming. So when the champagne arrives and you spot something glinting at the bottom of your glass, you're not surprised. But you are absolutely delighted. Lucio fishes the ring out for you (he struggles a bit trying to get the prongs of a fork to hook around the metal, but he manages). He looks confident, but his hands are trembling as he kneels down in front of you. "MC, I really mean it when I say I think we're the greatest couple in the world," he begins, smiling brightly up at you, his pale eyes twinkling, "Together, I think we can take it by storm. They won't know what hit 'em! Want to make us The official power couple of Vesuvia? No, the whole world!" His proposal is utterly ridiculous, so you can't help but laugh. "Yes, Lucio. Just promise me you don't actually have any plans of world domination," you laugh as Lucio slips the huge, sparkling ring on your finger. He shrugs, winking at you before lifting you up and twirling you around in his delight. He embraces you tightly and passionately ensnares your lips in his 💜

Bonus points if Lucio takes a swig out of the wrong glass and nearly chokes on the ring (because that is something he would totally do).

[hooked-on-elvis]

Just a little wish for a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to some blogs that have brought me joy this year

🎄🎁🎄

Awwww. You're so sweet!!! You made my day. I mean it.🥹 Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm glad my blog brought some joy to you this year. So glad! I love your blog too. Very much! ♥ Wishing you the happiest Christmas and that you have an excelent 2024 ahead, dear.

🎅🏼🎄✨🩵

Since we're on the thanksgiving mood, I'd like to thank my favorite blog owners here too, some of the wonderful people I got to talk a little bit this year - or not talk in a personal level but either way, I appreciate you very dearly

I feel you are my priceless gifts this year. ♥

First, I'd like to mention @elvisanddenise. I didn't have a one-on-one talk with you yet, but I'd like you to know you were the reason I wanted to rejoin Tumblr this year in the first place. I am 28 years old now, so I've been a Tumblr addict in my teenage years (for a different reason other than Elvis) but I lost that passion long ago. I didn't even actually use to share anything. Back then I used this account purely to read some fanfics on one of my favorite TV shows characters and that was all, until I got over it a bit. My Tumblr was forgotten for many, many years. This 2023, you were the reason I found it would be fun being active here again. Before I had my Elvis account here, I already accompanied your content daily. DAILY. Your account has a special tab in my browser, which I check on every single day. I mean it. It's been almost a year and, well... I gotta thank you for all the awesome posts you share, the great Elvis pictures and accurate info you upload to your blog, dear. Many great, even rare, pictures of EP are shared on your blog like, weekly. Yours is my favorite blog on Tumblr so far. Thank you so much for sharing your love on Elvis with us. I can see how you dedicate yourself to this passion and I highly appreciate it. ♥

Now, I got mention @eptodaytommorwforever as the first friend I got to talk when I came back to being active on Tumblr this year. I appreciate how kind and sweet you've always been to me. Thank you for all your wonderful, accurate info shares on your precious blog. ♥

Recently, I got to interact a lot with @jhoneybees @lookingforrainbows and @thetaoofzoe. You're so much fun, always making me laugh with the silliest things, which are the best kind of laughter ever! You've been nothing but the sweetest human beings to me and I also love the great content you share daily on each of your blogs, the fanfics, the pictures, everything! I hope you feel how much my words are true. A big hug from this new Elvis friend of yours here. I hope you're all safe and happy. ♥

@bellanotchewrites My dear, I hope you're doing fine. You're so sweet. I'm sorry if I'm shitty in answering my DMs. I really struggle on that, don't even know why, but you've been on my mind. Keep strong, sweetie. i'm wishing you the best! I care for you. ♥

@vintageshanny Always with the best tags, thank you for remembering me this year, dear. Although I don't always manage to participate on the tags content you share with me, I always have great fun seeing all the interaction from the other friends you tag. I love your blog so much! ♥

@dreamingofep I didn't got to read many fanfics this year because I have a hard time focusing on anything recently — and I know I'm missing a lot of great content from other friends here. I hope next year I manage to read a lot more of our talented Elvis writers. Anyway, I 'd like to say your "Sinned Awakening" series is my favorite! I love Vampire Elvis. You're doing an excellent job on that series, dear! I'm loving it! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your writing gift with us. ♥

And last but not least, some of the people that are always sharing or liking my content here but much beyond that, the people I love following. You make everything better. I love interacting with you and I appreciate your shares deeply. All of you have wonderful blogs. ♥ @precious-little-scoundrel ♥ @claire-elvisgirl @nothing-but-elvis @i-r-i-n-a-a @lett-them-eatt-cake @vintagepresley @suraemoon @bigdaddyelvislover @velvetelvis @presleyenterprise @alvvaysonmymind @ccab @almightybigbrain @aliengoth3 @pinkcaddyconfessions @tupelomiss @loving-elvis @heartbrake-hotel @elvisflowerchild @peaceloveelvis @helen06dreamer @sissylittlefeather @yintoeveryonesyang ♥

I really hope I didn't forget to tag anyone I care for, I'd hate that. But if I did, I'll remember eventually so I can tag you later.

✨ THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY FRIENDS, FOR MAKING MY DAYS HAPPIER THIS YEAR.✨ I wish you all stay safe, healthy, feel loved and appreciated. I pray for you all. Wish all of you a wonderful Christmas and a great holiday season. Enjoy your families and loved ones this holidays, babies. May your 2024 be filled with laughter and joy.

And thank you once again, @precious-little-scoundrel. For inspiring me after pouring so much love on many of us today. God bless you. ♥

Sincerely yours, much love,

Lally.

[sgiandubh]

I don't even understand what there is to gloat over? (antis) Why does him saying he had Covid serve the narrative? (shippers) Lots of people got Covid (including Cait), it shouldn't be a surprise. Honest to god, both sides of this fandom do the absolute most! He could have had Covid and quarantined, he could have spent it with Cait, he could have blah blah blah. It was 2 years ago. SO WHAT? He was going to be in New Zealand over Christmas away from family and friends regardless. It's just a story, there is no need to take everything so personally. That last sentence isn't directed at anyone in particular, but sometimes this fandom gets deep in their feelings and it's just not necessary.

Dear Both Sides Anon,

I have no idea if you are new or not in here and to be honest, I don't think it's relevant. The reason I am answering your ask, while I currently send a good 75% of them to the bin, is because it sums up very well the puzzled look on the face of a complete stranger who stumbled by chance on our blogs.

This is an adversarial, even gladiatorial fandom. Kindness (🙄) abounds, as you can see. No one in here is probably never very far away from it (🤬😡🤢🤮👺💀☠👻👽👾💩). Irony aside, I don't think I have ever seen, in my entire life and in any other social context., such a consuming passion for the tiniest detail and such a nuclear spending of energy, on a daily basis. And mind you, everything is usually taken on a very personal level and how could it be otherwise, given the rich bullying and harassment history of this damn place?

Upon entering, it's not exactly lasciate ogni speranza, but rather - place your bets intelligently. Speak to the right people, which means 'speak to the people you personally feel the most comfortable sharing things with'. Never assume you are away from a faux-pas. Think twice before posting and always try to imagine you're talking to people, not sheep or aliens or robots or pawns. And by Jove, never imagine everybody will like you: this is not a popularity contest, this is sometimes Beirut.

Last, but not least (and I think you've noticed it, by now), this fandom just loves drama. Justified or unjustified - it doesn't really matter. That makes the good fortunes of 💩👻, who zip between the combat lines faster than the Venetian commute vaporetti. Carelessly light a match and the whole gunpowder warehouse goes 💥 in a matter of seconds. So yes, Anon - I understand what you mean. But I also know very well the equanimity you vouch for is never to be found here.

So, we should be grateful for small graces: someone who asks you if you are ok or about your #silly day at the office. Or someone who drops two lines just to say your posts made her smile, while riding an overcrowded bus on the other side of the world. That is the real beauty of this strange place, Anon. The rest is Byzantine politics and the Mighty Circus that keeps us all in here, riveted.

[wespirallin]

feather in your cap (a sweet tooth fanfic)

Okay so some of you've probably seen the first chapter/prologue I've posted in the st community and I want to continue posting the new chapters in both ao2 and wattpad, and also here, in my blog. (there's a slight problem with ao3 for now but I'll update you when I have access to my account lol).

here you go people, the second chapter.

Chapter 2 // conform

Before Benji even unlocked the front door, he could hear the dampened voice of Adele filling up their house. A rare smile graced his lips as he hummed along to "Rolling in the Deep". 

Conversations of Adele had made up the first date between the two very drunk young adults. Benji could still remember it like yesterday, how a 20-year-old Pemma had forced him to dance rock-and-roll (they were very drunk okay??) to the very same song in a crowded bar. From that moment on, he knew he wanted a future with that woman. She had made Benji feel free, for what might’ve been the first time ever. Of course, drunk thoughts and decisions never ended well, but this one seemed to be an exception for Benjamin Crane. 

Benji found his wife seated where she spent most of her time nowadays. The wooden table they had built together, whose sole purpose was to serve as a puzzle table. She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she frantically checked almost every remaining piece.

Putting jigsaw puzzles together had always been a stable and favored pastime activity for the pair. They spent most of their free time seated in front of a thousand-piece puzzle for days in comfortable silence, accompanied by a cup of tea. Sometimes they even each got a puzzle with fewer pieces just to race each other. Pemma almost always won. 

This puzzle was an artistically drawn piece of the "Gaang" as Pemma liked to call the team of four teenagers from their comfort TV show. It was a fan-made piece from Emma (Sam's wife) that she'd made for them before she passed away. Benji already knew that his kids would grow up watching the records of the show.

The piece had survived most of Pemma's mood swings (Benji had stayed up all night once to renew the two weeks of progress after a particularly bad one), and it was more than halfway done. They really wanted to be over with it and hang it up on the wall before the twins arrived. Benji was sure that the piece could not handle  a pregnant lady and two newborns.

“Hey love”, greeted Benji, walking over and pressing a kiss on Pemma’s forehead. “How have you been? Any pain or discomfort?”

Pemma smiled up at him with those bright blue eyes he had fallen for over a decade ago.

“You know how it goes by now. Mood swings and some nausea. Went for a walk in the park at one point. It was a calmer day than usual. One of the little rascals did keep kicking me all day though, and it tickled for some reason this time. I’m telling you, Benji, we’re going to have twins with two very different personalities.”

Benji beamed at her. 

“Looks like one of them shares their mom’s hyperactivity”, he joked.

Pemma swatted at his arm. “You’ll realize it’s more of a curse than a gift if it turns out you’re right.”

“That’s okay, we’ll love them either way”, Benji said warmly.

Pemma’s smile fell ever so slightly and she faced her husband with a hesitant look.

“But what if…what if they turn out to be hybrids Ben?”, her voice getting weaker towards the end. “I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Benji's expression hardened. He couldn’t stand how scared his wife looked. He wanted to promise her that everything would be fine, but how could he when even he didn’t believe that? 

Yeah, what if the kids turned out to be hybrids? Benji didn’t know how he could love and raise something so…non-human and unnatural as his own. He just couldn’t imagine himself holding something half-animal, half-human, and thinking, “Yes, this is my kid. Mine to protect, to parent, and to love forever.”

Plus, he was well aware of the new organization that called themselves ‘The Last Men’ (what a stupid ass name that was). He knew how they snatched up the hybrid kids to do god knows what to them. He also knew what happened to the parents who tried to resist. He couldn’t have Pemma going through that. He wouldn't risk losing what he had because of a freaky hybrid kid.

Pemma looked her husband up and down as she tried to gauge his thought proccest. She knew he never looked warmly to hybrids, let alone them having to parent one. Shamefully, she couldn’t say that she disagreed with him. The idea itself scared her so much sometimes that she forgot how to breathe. At the same time, she couldn’t imagine herself not loving any of her babies. How could she look at any of their faces and deny them of the motherly love she was so ready to share?

When Benji finally pulled a chair and sat down across her, she saw the telltale sign of him coming to a decision. One he knew she wouldn't like. 

She took his clammy hands in hers and tried to catch his warm brown eyes.

When he finally did look up, Pemma saw a slightly unnerving shine in his eyes. A shine that make her gut churn uncomfortably.

“Penny for your thoughts, Ben?”

Ben caught the scared edge on Pemma’s voice and it made him want to rip his hair out in frustration. He ignored it for both of their sakes.

“I won’t let anyone, anything destroy what we have…what we’ve built for us okay? If…” he took a deep breath, “If it comes to that, then I’ll do anything in my power to make them normal, what they’re meant to be”, he promised with a set jaw. It was more of a promise to himself than to his wife.

Pemma’s worry lines deepened as her face scrunched up in disbelief. Before she could say anything though, a wave of excruciating pain ripped through her and she couldn’t help the scream she let out. All the previous tension was forgotten as Benji shot up from his chair, steadying Pemma as she doubled over in pain.

“Pems!? What- what is it? Is it the kids? Contractions? Are they-”

“No, I’m just constipated- YES Benji it’s the kids. Now get me to the kiddie pool before I pass out.”

“B-But what? They’re early -you -we, I-I thought we had at least-”

Pemma shot him a murderous look.

“Benji I swear to god-”

“Okay okay, sorry! I got this! I got this.”

Benji took a few deep breaths to steady himself as he hauled Pemma to her feet and gently dragged her to the kiddie pool. He thanked his past self a hundred times for already setting the pool up -just in case. 

. . . 

It’s crazy how quickly life can change up on you sometimes. 

One moment you’re stacking puzzle pieces next to each other, the next you’ve given birth to two beautiful newborns.

One moment you’re shedding tears of joy, the next you realize the baby in your arms has feathers. Brown and white feathers that make up two very mesmerizing wings. Two beautiful wings that are bunched up behind a small body that’s wriggling and crying obnoxiously. He’s beautiful, you think. You have to tear your eyes away from the unique pattern of discoloration on his face as you realize his father falling apart next to you, holding your other baby in his arms. In contrast to his sibling, this one isn’t crying.

One moment you’re ready to celebrate the birth of your two baby boys, the next, you’re sure you’re going to die from the pain of losing one.

A wail rips out from you, a wail that matches the baby's cries in your arms. 

“Benji! Benji what? What’s wrong? What’s wrong with him?? Why is my baby not crying? Benji let me see him!”

Benjamin pleads his tears and sobs away. He pleads the ugly, ugly disappointment and the heartwrenching pain in his gut away as he forces himself not to look at that…thing. That thing that killed his son. He faces his wife instead and pleads the tears away because he has to be strong. He has to be strong, for his wife needs him now. His wife needs him by her side, just as much as Benji needs her.

So he gently wraps up the dead newborn in his arms with a blanket. A blanket that was identical to the that was wrapped around the hybrid kid. A blanket that was chosen by the couple exactly nine months ago. A blanket that was supposed to have had the chance to be washed and used over and over again.

With whatever strength he had left, Benj dragged himself towards his wife in the kiddie pool and wrapped his arms around the sobbing woman. He gently cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away with shaky hands. The man's own cheeks were drenched with the tears that kept on spilling, almost in stubborn defiance against his pleas. 

It’s crazy how merciless life can be sometimes.

Because one moment you’re mourning the loss of a child, the next you’re trying to keep your wife alive.

One moment you’re the husband, the next you're need to be the doctor.

Thousands of thoughts raced through Doctor Crane’s mind as he tried to identify what may have caused the postpartum hemorrhage. 

Blood clotting condition? Thrombin maybe? Not likely, Pemma’s scratches always healed fast. 

Uterine atony? No, no he would’ve realized if there had been a steady loss of blood after the delivery…right? He would’ve realized. He would've.

Uterine trauma? Yeah,  yeah that was most likely it…but from what? Benji’s eyes hardened as he looked at the hybrid baby with accusing eyes. The kid had wings, but no way were feathers sharp enough to cause any damage to the uterine. The baby was half a bird, right? So talons maybe? 

Benji’s eyes frantically darted from side to side and his breathing picked up as he tried to pinpoint what had caused the excessive bleeding. He was no expert in childborth. He remembered taking a general education about it in med school but he had little knowledge of complications. He racked his brain for anything that could help Pemma.

All his thoughts came to a halt when he felt a weak hand squeeze his shanking one. Pemma.

“Ben…just be with me for a moment.”

And it’s crazy how life could be so merciless because here she was, bleeding out, but still having to be the strong one for Benji.

She looked into his eyes with a sense of serenity, because she knew. She knew that she wouldn’t make it. And Benji saw no sign of anger nor fear in her bright blue eyes. He saw no trace of blame in them and he just knew she didn’t blame him for what was happening. She didn’t blame him for being the doctor and not being able to save her, because of course she didn’t. 

Pemma could barely think straight because of the shock her brain was going through. The shock that left her airless and unable to collect her breath. 

Call her delusional but it reminded her of the way she forgot how to breathe when she saw the same pair of warm brown eyes for the first time. That was a decade ago. Those brown eyes that had her offered so much comfort throughout the years, but now held so much pain inside. The same brown eyes that looked at her with so much love whenever she met them. The same love she was sure that he would show their kid after she was gone.

And life was so merciless to Benjamin Crane that day, for not only had he buried a child and a soulmate, but he was also left alone with the hybrid baby that had caused it all.

[audrak79]

Broken, but not beyond repair...

I never imagined that at 45, having been married 24 years, and having spent 29 years in that same relationship, that I would be working through a divorce.  I have worked in the legal field helping others through their divorces for 27 years. The story of how I got here is not for all to know and certainly not something to share like this. It’s a story that affects many and, while their story is part of mine, that does not mean I have a right to air it all out.

A big part of my story began when I was 16. I had no clue who I was, where I was going, what I wanted to be, I was just a baby and knew one thing... I wanted out of where I was and I knew there had to be something better. What happened from here many would call a fairy tale. Much of it seemed that way. But as with any relationship, it had its problems, ups and downs. I’ve learned a lot in my life, most of it the hard way.  As with any relationship, we both could have and should have done better, worked harder for it. Life gets exhausting and people change. And while we can't change people or stop them from changing, we CAN control what we tolerate and how we respond to what’s in front of us.    

The last 3 years have been the toughest 3 years of my life.  It’s been trying on our family.  That’s a story and testimony for another blog... when the time is right.  Trauma affects our whole story and the stories of those closest to us and sometimes it even branches out further than that.  As Pastor Mike Todd has said, “what you don’t transform, you transfer.” Before you start a relationship, you should know your own identity or you will take on that of others and try to make them your own. Process your own trauma. You can't expect a good relationship if you don’t feel you can share your trauma because you've never faced it head on and you try to pretend it never happened. Get comfortable with yourself so that you can be vulnerable without fear of shame or embarrassment. It's hard to help someone through their trauma if you've never addressed your own. Faking it only causes bitterness, anger, anxiety, depression, stonewalling etc. and just as you can't control someone or change others, you can’t control their healing either, and you certainly won't help them when you ignore your own hurt. One thing I wish for every human, and I am still working on, is that we could all master the art of good communication. Listening more, talking less. Communicating expectations so assumptions don't leave one hurt unnecessarily. Sometimes a person just needs to know they are heard.

I've made poor choices, I'll continue to make poor choices. But I'm going to strive each day to make better choices. I'm going to try starting fresh and this time around, NOT do things out of order. I'm going to stay firm and grounded in Christ, so much that it spews out in everything I do and I will not be ashamed or embarrassed of what that looks like. I will love so hard that it makes others wonder where it comes from and plants a seed to be watered that has them seeking the Lord because they need that kind of joy in their life. I will forgive more as I also need forgiven and holding onto that seed of offense only allows a root of bitterness to grow. Life is painful. Words hurt. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and it takes a lifetime of practice. Out of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45), which is why we need to check our hearts before we speak. 

Regret.... without the poor decisions I've made, I may never have come to know who I am, I wouldn't have some of the greatest things and experiences that I have had. While I have regret for any harm I may have done to others, and I am sad and even disappointed in myself for the way I have handled some things, I am not sure I would wish for things to have been different. In a perfect world, sure, but we live in a broken world and I'm going to pray that God will continue to make beauty from my ashes, even from the dumpster fires that I caused or fanned into flame. What I CAN do is, instead of focusing on what I did wrong or could have done better... repent, turn, start new, fresh, and try harder to simply be a better reflection of Christ today than I was yesterday. I know I will never regret following Him.

So, excuse me while I heal. It looks different for everyone and while this seems like a new life event as social media and public appearances paint a pretty picture, it may not be as fresh as the picture was painted. I'll likely not be on social media for a while other than to share an occasional Word from God with a picture of my coffee. I trust that those closest to me will reach out personally and directly. My profiles have my contact info in them. God is good, even when we aren't. Trust the process. Be willing to be refined in the fire. I promise, eternity with Christ is worth it. I was reading a few months ago in Isaiah and shared the following on social media:

“Studying this morning and as I hit Isaiah 38 and 39, I praised God for His reminder of the importance of humility, the dangers of pride, and that our actions have consequences. But most importantly, that EVEN when I suffer consequences, EVEN when things seem to go badly, EVEN in the midst of suffering... I will praise my God and thank Him for His love, correction, and grace. For His ways are higher than mine. Who am I to criticize His divine direction.”

I know who I am now. I am the daughter of the King Most High, a co-heir with Christ. I am chosen, forgiven, treasured, sought, beautiful, strong, flawless, never forsaken. I am His.

8/20/24

[shepherds-of-haven]

hii! i'm a new author working on my first if, and i'm really not doing great tbh. shepards of haven is (my current hyperfixation) sosososososo good and so expansive and just generally the best thing ever and i'm aware that you've been writing this story for years and that's probably why it's so amazing but i'm not having a fun time over here and i was wondering if you have any tips for worldbuilding or if you could share like a general overview of your process? thank you so much :))

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling great about your project at the moment! I think my #writing advice tag could be helpful to you, since that's where I stick all the posts and answers about writing tips and worldbuilding advice from this blog, as well as my @strangevoyages blog, which is exclusively focused on my authorial career and writing-related tips and tricks, so it might be easier to parse through for advice! This post I wrote last year, in particular, could be helpful for worldbuilding, as well! (As well as this post for my general tips for beginning writers of interactive fiction!)

On top of all that, though, I think the best piece of advice I can add on for you is to be patient with yourself! As you mentioned, I've been working on Shepherds for over 20 years now: it was basically the first story I ever wrote, and I still haven't published it in a complete form yet. My first novel, We Have Always Been Here, also took about four years to complete, and in that amount of time, I burned it completely to the ground and started it over from scratch FIVE TO EIGHT TIMES before I got so sick of looking at it I just had to submit it. And I thought I would start my second novel directly after that, starting a few months after WHABH's completion in 2019. It's been four years since then and I'm still figuring out the world and characters of that second novel, to the point that I've also started and completely scrapped the story three or four times... I didn't even settle on the main cast or their names until earlier this year, so that's like 3 years where I didn't even know their names, let alone how their world worked. 🥹 And in the last four years, I've still only gotten as far as about ten chapters on this series, and my most current draft is only at four! (And I'm about to scrap some of that and start over again... 🥹)

At some point, you finally iron things out and the story details settle and actually click, and then you might be off to the races--but you've got to give yourself the time, patience, and understanding to actually get there first! I know that things can feel frustrating when it feels like you've run up against a wall or you just aren't feeling inspired, but letting things simmer for a while just allows the flavors of your story to complexify and deepen. You're creating a whole new world in your head, so give yourself a break! It takes time. Like a good soup, sometimes you have to let it sit on the stove for a bit and bubble away without poking at it impatiently and wishing it would hurry up or dumping ingredients in it to make it cook faster. In the meantime, consuming media that inspires you or that you genuinely love and enjoy--without turning it into the work and chore of "research"--might uncork or illuminate something you didn't even know was brewing. That's what I most often do when I'm feeling uninspired! I just leave everything where it is, meander away, watch or read or play something that intrigues me, and that often naturally sparks inspiration when I'm not thinking too hard about it. A watched p(l)ot never boils, so to speak!

I hope that (and my other posts linked above) help you in some way. Good luck with your writing and again, try not to be too hard on yourself! You're not alone, every writer feels this way: it's just a part of the process, but one that we can mitigate by giving ourselves time and patience. :) And thank you for the kind words about Shepherds, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

//Sooo I wanted to give an update.

First off: I'm working on the next chapter! I'm also working out the chapter after this one, I just don't know when it'll be written. (Picture for proof - it's only 50 words shy of 2500!)

Second: I wanted to sincerely apologize for my spotty presence on here. Especially since I said I'd be on this last weekend and wasn't. I'll leave an explanation under the read more below, but just know that life has been...something. I'm not complaining and I'm not looking for sympathy, but I feel like you all deserved an explanation.

My goal is to finish up the chapter and get it posted as soon as I can. I don't know when that'll be with everything that's happening, but I wanted people to know that I'm not abandoning this blog or the story. I just can't give any good timelines right now with everything going on in my life.

I'll leave my detailed explanation below, but don't feel obligated to read it. Thank you for your patience and I'm sorry again. TW for mention of bugs/pests.//

So a few things have happened in my life. I don't know if I shared it here before (I think I may have briefly mentioned it late last year), but my relationship with my parents is complicated and rocky. As such, sometimes I'll be doing great living my own life, other times they'll feel the need to call me every day and text me all the time. Now that my mother has more health issues, it's gotten worse. But that issue is somewhat managed now.

Secondly, the most glaring thing that's been making it difficult. I go out to see people in their homes for work. Well, one person I went to lied about not having any sorts of pests or bugs and I didn't find out until after I'd been there. That was three weeks ago. I thought that I didn't have anything and that I'd taken care of any potential bugs (I've been frantically checking everything and cleaning and spraying for the last three weeks. No joke.) Spoiler: I did not. I now have a bug infestation in my home that's been causing a lot of issues with my mental health. I won't get into how it's impacting my mental health, but let's just say I don't sleep well at all at night. Pest control just called me today to tell me they won't be able to treat until Monday. So I'm stuck in a home with bugs until I can go to someone else's home Saturday and quarantine in one of her spare rooms with my animals until after they treat next week. I'm also working from home because I can't go to work until after they treat, so I'm stuck in my home quarantining...with bugs. Also can't see my counselor in-person until they've treated, so (":

And then I somehow dropped my phone in the toilet last weekend, so I didn't have a good phone to try and answer asks on until yesterday.

Does all this sound far-fetched? Yes. But it's true. When it rains it pours, I guess ^^' I swear I'm trying to post on here and get things written, but things keep happening. And like I said, my mental health hasn't been great. It isn't awful like it was last year! But I'm really anxious and not sleeping well. I want to get the story updated and written as soon as possible, but I won't promise when that'll be because I don't want to break any more promises.

If you've read this part, thank you for listening. Like I said, things will be ok and they're getting worked out, it's just taking time.

[wilbyscoot]

Hello. I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't been active in quite some time. Or, well, if you haven't, now you have. Sorry that I am only now returning and only to tell you that I will be “leaving” permanently.

I'm only here now to address something. Yes, it's regarding the situation with Wilbur Soot. I don't want to go into too much detail about it. If you know, you know. If you don't, sorry you had to find out this way. All I can say is, I'm no longer comfortable when it comes to things relating to him.

I wanted to come back to this blog, even coming up with an idea to write a fic for my return. I've really missed talking to my friends and my mutuals, you're all amazing and wonderful. But I've found that I don't really want to go back here, at least not in this blog. And now, with the terrible news about Wilbur, I'm starting to lean even more to the idea of not coming back here.

I've read and seen the things people are saying about him with my mutuals and people I followed. People are slowly leaving or taking a break from their blogs. It hurts seeing my friends get attacked for it and it hurts even more knowing that they're having a terrible time over this. This is meant to be a safe space.

And before you say anything or start attacking me in asks, in no way am I saying that the things people said about Wilbur are true. We do not know the identity of the person Shelby was talking about and we can't be sure until she's confirmed it herself, which she has every right not to if she could. Even so, I still want to be safe.

Wilbur had been a huge inspiration for me. He brought me comfort and joy, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have made so many friends that I could share an interest with. But with everything that's been going on, whether it is true or not, I do not feel comfortable being associated with him anymore and this blog was created based on him, which makes me feel uncomfortable going back to.

I haven't been here for a long time so I can't say I've seen everything. But I just wanted to quickly say this before things take a worse turn. Plus, I've slowly grown out of my interest for Wilbur Soot (if you haven't already noticed by the huge lack of content last year).

So, I've decided. I'm going to start over. I've made a new blog that I've been running for a while (well, there's not really anything there yet) and I've been thinking of moving there permanently. Yes, it is the blog I was talking about in my introduction. Though, it's not just going to be a writing blog now, it's going to be filled with a bunch of other stuff.

The new blog is completely different. You will see a new side of me you haven't before. More fandoms, more content, more media and franchises. And less of MCYT. For the sake of myself and everyone's comfort, I won't be sharing my blog with you all right now. I'm only going to share them with SOME of my friends and mutuals. Maybe if I'm a little more comfortable with opening it up to all of you one day, I'll come back to announce it. Or maybe you'll end up finding it on your own. Who knows. Either way, if you ever find my new blog, please don't mention anything from this one. I would like to keep them totally separate.

I won't be deleting anything from here. I'm keeping it as an archive. I won't do anything to this blog other than state that I will no longer use it. Maybe I'll come back here one day just to completely change everything, but that is not a plan of mine right now.

If you specifically want to keep in touch, let me know! (I don't mind if you still create content with Wilbur, that's not a big deal for me) My DMs are open right now but they won't be for long. Keep in mind, I might not accept everyone (especially if you are a minor, I will decide very carefully about this). While my blog will still be SFW for the most of it, I can't promise that it will always stay that way in the future. Please practice viewer's discretion. I also have a Discord! This is only open for my friends and mutuals (sorry!!), but I might accept friends of friends!

I think that's all I really want to say. If I have more to add, I will. If you have any questions, send me an ask or DM me! Again, I might or might not leave this blog for good sooner than expected. If you're seeing me for the first time and you want to follow me in my new blog, feel free to as well! This is not just for my old friends and followers. I'd love to see new faces!

That's all I want to say. Thank you so much for the wonderful memories and the laughs. You are all wonderful and I will not forget you. I hope we may cross paths again in the future.

Lots of love,

Alex

[niktoes]

₊˚♡˚₊ word salad headcanons for könig as your best friend ₊˚♡˚₊

♡ just konig things. prematurely posted by accident last time, so if anyone saw that, no you didn't ♡

♡ on this blog, könig's name is otto ♡

Tags: headcanon, silly platonic friend stuff, best friend könig, reader insert

♡ Otto is a man who makes the best of friends. As an adult with a busy life, making friends is hard. Plus, he's acutely aware of the fact that he can be awkward when he's first meeting someone, and because of that he generally isn't the easiest man alive to make friends with. Most of his friendships happened because something just clicked, and everything worked from there. When it happens, the easy chemistry that lets conversation feel effortless and him feel understood? Yeah, cherished doesn't even begin to cover how close to his heart he holds your friendship. Any of hid close friendships, really, are things he values deeply. If what you need is a ride-or-die kind of guy, that is exactly what he is.

♡ This friendship looks like a relationship from the outside. Sometimes his being playful can come across as unintentionally flirtatious (wanna talk abt the 'they're dating' rumours every set of best friends has? yeah, it's like that. And he, for one, thinks its hilarious), but it's all just in good fun.

♡ There are several ways that he might approach you having a rough time in life, whether that's due to your work or issues in your personal life. Mans is spiteful. That's just a facet of himself that can't be removed or avoided if something really rots his fucking socks. And by spiteful, I mean he's the kind of guy that'll stop in the middle of a crosswalk to very carefully tie his shoelaces if a driver's impatient and pushing the boundary on the pedestrian crossing light. Malicious compliance is his cup of tea, too, if it applies. He's been alive nearly forty years, man, so no matter what problem you're dealing with, his plots for petty vengeance come naturally and he and is not shy about sharing them with you for the sake of justice (or catharsis- that too).

♡ This could just be a him thing, but if he's your friend- like, really good friend, he fully backs you no matter what. If you're out here being confidently incorrect about something debatably unimportant, he'll agree with you until he's blue in the face out of respect. It's in private that he'll let you know how much of a hilarious dumbass you were back there, arguing with so and so about 'insert topic here' when he knew- and for that matter, he's pretty sure you knew too, that you were HEINOUSLY incorrect. It's a perk of being friends with him, but also? It's kinda... just really funny to him, and his sense of humour is catered ENTIRELY towards himself.

♡ Your interests are, to some extent, his interests by proxy. He expects pretty much the same in return where your friendship is concerned. If he hears you going on about something you're pretty interested/invested in, he's gonna put in a bit of effort to learn about it so he can hold good conversations and support the things you like. That said, again, he's gonna expect the same outta you, and a lot of his hobbies are fairly active. If you can't participate, that's fine, but showing a bit of interest goes a long way. He likes reading and cooking, too, so listen to him word vomit over books he likes and be a guinea pig when he wants to try this daring new recipe he found somewhere online. If you can participate in his active hobbies? He's dragging you along when he decides to hit the slopes and go skiing- if you've never done it before, even better, because he'll get a laugh out of you fighting for your life on the bunny hill.

♡ Otto makes some decent money, and has spending money to throw around thanks to his decorated career. Because of that, and the fact that he likes to treat himself to nice things and fancy places when he feels the vibe for it, if you're cash poor and he wants to do something with you, he's gonna pay for you. He's gonna crack jokes about it, not unkindly, but he is a bit of a shithead when he's properly comfortable with someone- and as his best friend, he is very comfortable with you. So don't worry, Daddy Warbucks has you when your wallet doesn't. Time to get culturally enriched, 'cause he wants to check out a museum or attend a concert. No, he's not gonna let you feel guilty about it, because he really enjoys taking care of the people he values when he gets the chance. You can cover lunch or something next time he feels like a day out, or something.

[lemon-mint813]

See You Around

tldr

I'm moving to a different blog @iwantsomethingsoft but I will never delete this one because the memories and people here are still things I hold dear. If you've moved on from fandom or have a blog that's not fandom related I'd love to follow you and stay in each other's circles. Thank you for everything, and I wish you all the best in whatever comes next for you 💖

Long ass section

Sigh. This has been really difficult to come to terms with, and the way my time in this fandom is ending is something I've never experienced before. I've also never had a fandom experience as intense, painful, wonderful, inspirational, stressful, joyful, devastating, and love filled as this one. There's a lot of things I'm trying not to regret about these past few years, but one thing I don't regret is a single second of time spent in this community. The good and the bad. It was all worth it to have what I needed when I needed it, and to have met the most incredible people because of it.

This little corner of the internet, this specific little bubble of tumblr, has been so lovely to be a part of. I'm sad I wasn't as active here near the end. I think I took this space for granted and forgot to appreciate it the way it deserved to be. And what's funny is, my time here on this blog doesn't feel as tainted as everything else because the good memories made here were purely due to the community and nobody else. The only reason I need to leave is I need to be separate from everything connected to the mcyt fandom right now, and that includes this blog.

You all have no idea how much I treasured seeing you pop up in my notifs or when I scrolled by you on my dash. Even those I never spoke to, just existing side by side has been truly a pleasure. I hope that one day we can cross paths again. And whether we do or not, I will always look back on my time here and the people here with endless fondness and appreciation.

If you follow me you know I'm quite dramatic. And emotional. And over the top. So I had to leave you with one last essay pouring my heart out. I don't want the last things on this blog to be negative things so I wanted to pour some love out there instead. If you take nothing else away from this, please take away that you are loved. More than you know.

If you have a non fandom blog and I miss you when I go through my following, pls dm me. I want to keep in touch. I'll keep an eye on my messages here for the next couple of days. And who knows. Maybe I'll come back. Maybe I'll log back in just to scroll my dash and see what people are up to. Or to comb through the memories when they don't hurt as much to look at. But until then, thank you. Thank you for being so welcoming, and willing to share your space, your incredible creations, and your pictures and edits and clips and silly thoughts. Thank you for just being kind in my tags and inbox. It truly brought me joy.

Good luck in whatever you do next. I'm rooting for you.

[smores100]

hey.

so. haven't been around for quite some time, mostly due to my health issues (the usual + muscle aches and joint pains, i'm having a great time), but also in part due to The Situation. it's hard to care about anything with everything that's been going on, it all seems so pointless and meaningless, i'm living in a completely different universe from everyone else here. wish i could be that privileged, but alas. it's also hard being around here, and on other social media platforms for that matter, and seeing the raging antisemitism and sheer hate everywhere. i haven't checked my dash in almost 2 months, haven't checked specific blogs like i used to either, and have no plans on doing so anytime soon. i know what i'll find, i don't want it.

i was gonna stay quiet like i ususally do, especially since i genuinely don't have energy for anything rn, but it's been 2 months and i've been biting my tongue and screaming and crying into my pillow daily and i just need to get some of it out before i implode. there's only so much ignorance and hate that one person can take before snapping, so. here i am.

i have so much i want to say, i've written a million posts in my mind in the past 2 months, but i'm too Tired to actually write them down, and it'll just be one big messy ramble anyway, so i'm just gonna reblog a couple of other people's posts and make do with that. just a couple, don't worry, i know these are issues most either want to avoid dealing with or the opinions shared in those posts are a complete 180 degrees from what's trendy to believe in today. but i have to share it anyway. for 2 months i've been terrified, frustrated, bitter, angry and absolutely heartbroken, but there's one thing i haven't been, and that is ashamed. i'm proud of who i am. i'm proud of my people and their spirit. you will never understand what it's been like for us, what it still is like for us, but let me just say this: they wanted to break us, they wanted to break our spirit. they failed. we've never been more united. they just made us stronger.

so i'm gonna reblog some stuff so i can get it out of my system and move on. at worst i hope you just ignore and scroll past it; at best i hope you keep an open mind and maybe for the first time read things from a different pov instead of just the one sided propaganda everyone is continuously exposed to. maybe you'll see it isn't all black and white, maybe you'll see there are nuances you're not even aware of, maybe you'll realize you've been fed a lot of misinformation, half truths and even lies over the years. maybe. if you have questions or want to have a mature and civil conversation about it, feel free to msg me and i'll try and reply when my health allows me to, i'm open to discussion. if you want to unfollow me after this, feel free to do so. i'm not gonna force my truth on anyone, but i'm also not gonna change who i am for anyone either.

and on a more personal note, i wanna say thank you again for the msgs i've received last time and haven't replied to (due to health, Situation etc), and for the ones i've gotten since (will get to those soon i hope). i do feel the need to say this tho - i did have a peek or two at my dash and on twitter earlier on and saw some things. i was in a super sensitive state at the time and it was pretty disheartening ngl. it's hard nowadays, with all the hate going on and public opinion being what it is, to know whether or not you're still welcome in these spaces, whether or not people still like you and care about you, or if you've officially become persona non grata. most days it feels like the latter tbh. i just don't know where i stand. i said i'm not gonna force myself on anyone and i'm not, so if you're still ok with me…i guess the ball's in your court? 🌻

thanks for reading. thanks for sticking around, to those who decide to do so. take care y'all. never again is now. am yisrael chai. 💙

[vtmgremlin]

Baldur's Gate has over taken my life

So here's a long ass rant about Astarion because I love him so much my heart bursts with love and joy for this man (Everything will be spoilers under the cut so if you have not completed the game make sure you DO NOT read this LOL)

So...I'm not someone who usually rants like this on my blog but it's my blog and well free will is everything so let's go : )

What I really want to talk about is about how much the trauma and his abuse must have warped his mind...over 200 years of it, I can barley comprehend the past 23 for myself but 200 years

Like no wonder he treats everyone a certain way, no wonder his first reaction is to "go hurt someone", perhaps it maybe was in his nature beforehand(?) but we don't know and I don't think he really recalls either! (other than the fact that he was a magistrate all those years ago, which to me, is still kinda funny to think about hehe, but thats most likely because he wasn't the person we meet in BG3)

And thats the thing, once you help him over come the black mass and you enter the cutscene with him and he shares his old grave to you- I almost assumed that maybe it would have been old family members besides him...but no, just himself. Who was Astarion before his embrace? I suppose it doesn't matter anymore since after that moment he resigns that life and proclaims his past self long dead but...the mind does wander at times.

It does make me sad, how it seems as though he must pick and I suppose it's just me being jaded with the idea that one must sacrifice happiness to do the right thing- when idk the idea of having your cake and eating it too it something he deserves after again- 200 YEARS- of horrid abuse

This is NOT to say that I approve of him becoming evil lord 9000, but rather a catapult into the last option you get to say to him at the end of it all with his final cutscene where he asks you "What do you want?"

There is an option where you can suggest that the both of you continue to search for ways to let him walk into the sun together again and if you choose that well he does seem delighted and exclaims if there is a chance he will seize it no matter what (and that it will lead to more adventures together hehe).

My idea was that what if...it was actually a road to having him regain his humanity, you know? Bring him back to life as our dear evanessence would say- and I don't mean that he must sacrifice something to have this and he must suffer more blah blah blah I MEAN SERIOUSLY!

It was a sorta "final adventure", the gangs all here and somehow it becomes more than just that for our beloved vampire man (because of course it does), but at the end of the day, after possibly IDK saving the world for a second time perhaps LMAO- he gets to finally be rewarded :,))

He fought and fought hard, began the road to self acceptance and love, to slowly heal himself with the help of your BG3 character..to finally be rewarded to breathe air again.

To eat again, to feel the blood rush to his cheeks again- his heart pumping again. More than just walking into the sunlight without harm, but to be able to gain from it. To be alive again...

I could rant more and most likely will later but, I love him so much LOL him standing up to Cazador, his abuser, the way he did, I was shaking because the idea of being able to do such a thing to my own is just unthinkable...he deserves much love :, ( and is worthy of so much patience and understanding.

I am going to draw alot of him and Vyhann, who is my Bard BG3 half-elf, together and just in general if y'all aren't happy with that I understand LOL and anyways if you've read this far my god I would apologize but you've done this to yourself skdjfnskdjnfjdf