#all in order how its supposed to be yadda yadda

[amplexadversary]

Welp I just had a bizarre-ass dream about the infamous ending to a manga that almost definitely doesn’t exist.

I can sure name some stuff it reminded me of that probably made up components of this though. Not sure where the imagery came from though unless it was my absolute thirst for weather that did it.

Bulk of the work over all took place at this specialty school, which had this daily morning-evening commute via trains through some misty, unusually steep mountainous region. The trains were the fancy type that served meals and I’m hung up on this because a ton of the scenes featured food-porn type close-ups of everyone’s food, mostly but not all of it Japanese cuisine (the impression being like ehh ~85% nationalism plus a handful of the author’s favorite foods that weren’t from their home country? I guess?)

You had your typical frustratingly-passive female hero reminiscent of a whole bunch of 90′s manga and parts of Twilight (except this chick was super bubbly in an un-meyer-like fashion), a primary love-interest who from the start was that kind of obvious-endgame type of deal, and then a guy who shows up like a third (?) of the way through seemingly just to create a narrative love-triangle but was more akin to a younger-brother type figure to the protagonist who happened to get really tall and go through most of puberty since the protagonist last saw him.

Primary guy was kind of troubled and a big part of that was tied to the fact that he got his shit rocked by a bunch of undead before coming to this school, which had an odd effect on him where none of the weird-gothic-monster accommodations he needed matched up with a particular type of spooky gothic monster. Secondary guy had pretty standard symptoms of something I don’t remember, probably whatever the girl had (that unspoken fraternal symbolism was super noticeable, although both sets of parents were shown. Kind of reminds me of that one cousin from Jane Eyre tbh). Both love interests had an associated “rival” for the main girl’s affections too, the “secondary” guy’s being introduced very shortly after he was and the “primary” guy’s being introduced something like 5/6 of the way through.

Countdown to Failure State:

~ Again, 5/6th of the way through the chapters that actually got written: “Primary” rival introduced. “Secondary” guy makes hard turn into actual love-interest territory. A little later, Main girl swaps trains at a changeover point to have a meal and a serious talk with him. After this point, the translator’s notes start hinting at something being up with the author. Story goes on for a while like this.

4 chapters from the end: You know those goofy sort of non-canon skits that get collected in the end of the print volume of manga from about 1990 something to 2010 something? One of those shows up at the beginning of an actual chapter. Main girl and all her girl friends give something of a PSA about how this is where the manga stops being good. One of them is posed like Sailor V for some reason.

Things start getting more serious than before between main girl and “Primary” guy. Most of the cast prepares to head to a vacation home owned by Secondary guy’s parents.

3 ch from failure: Everyone is at the vacation house. Rivals 1 and 2 are getting along. Primary rival has expressed intent to pursue someone other than primary guy. Primary guy has ran off to the other side of the property to deal with a vague threat that was explained only to him. It’s kind of clear to the audience that this is some scheme to get him away from what’s about to happen, but there is Zero information hinting at who the hell is doing the scheming.

Second to last chapter: Everyone else is in or nearby the pool. Secondary rival comes out wearing most of a mascot suit. She starts saying something, counting up on her right hand as she does so. Both she and the back of her hand are facing main girl. Starting with her pointer finger and ending with her little finger and then her thumb, she counts upward as part of what she’s talking about, 1, 3, 6, 9, 10. Each time she counts upward, main girl looks a little dazed, staring at her, and slowly starts too look excited, and then flushed and breathing heavily. No one else notices anything wrong with main girl until she collapses, and then everybody freaks out.

Final Chapter: Main girl is shown in some kind of dream-state. She’s floating in what appears to be a partially destroyed wooden building, and is still dazed and flushed. There is nothing else in the room with her, until she suddenly notices a presence.

Instead of showing what main girl saw, we cut to another room in the same dream-scape building, where primary and secondary rival are having a full-on fight scene. Both of them are furious, primary rival being all “how could you just sit back and let this happen she’s our friend” and secondary being all “well I couldn’t do anything, secondary guy doesn’t love me like that.”

When we cut back to main girl we find out that the figure she saw was secondary guy, who floats up to her, and they kind of land on a bed which is there now.

What follows is a scene that is pretty damn graphic for the genre, depicting stuff where it can be interpreted as kind of a fantasy deal if the writer/reader is emotionally repressed but if you’re not in the right mindset kiiiiiiinda comes across as assault. And the chapter ends with main girl clinging to secondary guy, with no further explanation to what the hell just happened.

The final print volume came with an addendum after this: There’s this bit from the translator about the English publication being an undertaking of love from the fandom, urging fans to “[not] let the ending spoil any feelings they have for [main girl/primary guy]” and “We still love [Manga Title] in 1998, despite how it ended″ This is like a 2-page spread. Turn the page and you find:

An explanation of what happened to the author. Starting from the point mentioned earlier, she had a huge falling out with her artist. There were quotes from multiple people saying she was not herself and that they were concerned etc, and it eventually came out that the author was on meth, and that that ending was the last chapter she had written before going to prison.

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

You said this was a rewrite... what was the original plot of the story going to be like?

The original story was supposed to be very different... It was going to be more low-stakes, so to speak... It was merely about Meta Knight becoming Kirby's father figure and him learning to adjust to the peace after the war... but it's pretty much become a grand epic now.

(this was before the Star Allies saga and Planet Robobot...)

I had the beginning and ending planned out, so here's the ending of the story:

*knuckle crack*

As the story progresses & Kirby takes out all of the game villains, Kirby becomes really famous at this point... and then that's when $h*t hits the fan!

In the original story, Sir Arthur was the surprise villain (or secret villain, if you will)... this was when it was trending back then (the Dinsey Frozen Era...).

He sees Kirby as a chance to restore the GSA to its former glory. Now that Kirby has gained fame from his adventures, he sees his as the perfect opportunity to rip him away from Dreamland and take him away from all his friends and family...

It all comes to a head when Sir Arthur comes to Dreamland in person for the first time and reveals his master plan. Basically, making him the poster boy of the GSA. And another revelation: MK was in on it too... this was what Meta Knight had been training Kirby for all along.

(Quietly in the background for each arch of the story... Sir Arthur's intentions were hinted at and revealed more until we reached this point...)

Originally, MK wasn't as kind as the rewritten MK (the current one); he was crueler back then. The original story was going to be about how his time with Kirby brought back his humanity.

BETRAYAL ARC! (Grand Finale GSA vs Dreamland)

The Kirby gang feels backstabbed by Meta Knight's shocking reveal, especially Kirby. He thought Meta Knight had grown to care for him... (but MK had: he just was in denial). He kept insisting that his duty had always come first. This breaks Kirby's heart; he tells MK that he hates him and he isn't gonna go with him...

Sir Arthur had trained MK and taken him in for the sole purpose of using him as a weapon. (living war machine) Meta Knight was doing the same thing to Kirby... but he can't bring himself to force him into that lifestyle. (and how messed up it was, yadda, yadda, yadda.)

The reason why Arthur was able to let MK join the GSA is that Galacta Knight had turned MK into a monster... by order of Nightmare. Sir Arthur saw an opportunity to manipulate Meta Knight into a weapon of his own design... (to him, he was in the right because it was for the greater good.)

And the Meta Knight would come to terms with how precious Kirby was to him... and how awful he feels now. The ends did not justify the mean... He'd realize his time and Dreamland had changed him, and he saw Kirby more than a potential soldier... he saw him as his own child... he certainly wasn't about to let Arthur get away with making Kirby his little poster boy.

So when the time comes for Meta Knight to choose between love & duty, he stands up to his old master and shuts him down... He apologizes to Kirby and tells him how much he means to him. They make up, but this touching moment is cut short then- BAM (180).

Sir Arthur: Well then... I didn't want to do this, but... it looks like I have no choice...

Sir Arthur villain mode is activated. Meta Knights gets arrested and pulls him away from Kirby in a heartbreaking scene. Arthur already started to notice how attached Meta Knight was getting to Kirby, so he prepared for this scenario.

Martial law is enforced by the GSA, and Dreamland is shut down. Sir Arthur uses King Dedede as an excuse since he used to order monsters & reports of him being a tyrant were recorded. (King Dedede wasn't redeemed in the original story yet, so this was his karma.) And Arthur officially dethrones King Dedede... And he's arrested. (throws him in the same jail cell as Meta Knight)

And this was supposed to be the beginning of King Dedede's redemption arc. Now Sir Arthur is using Dreamland & Meta Knight as leverage against Kirby... if he agrees to leave Dreamland permanently and join the GSA... he'll let Meta Knight & the others go.

(Then I think I wrote "dies in a horrible accident," in the original draft while in the jailbreak arc because Galacta Knight shows up to fight MK. And kills Sir Arthur like he's nothing...)

After "Star Allies," the overall message of the story changed... We had so many more revelations and plots added to the franchise that I could not ignore. I gave a whole new meaning to Kirby's story as a whole.

The message I wanted to tell with the story had to change it. All the characters had to get a major overhaul in their personalities.

And I love the new direction I have for the story... And I'm very glad for the changes I've made. Though it's nice to visit the past now again and see how far you've come no matter how cringy.

[justyourautarch]

CURRENT THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON GENLOSS

(These are all theories based on other theories I have)

For context,

Gen 0 = “Current” point in the main story (person who finds the vhs tapes, person on he Chronicle 0 twitter posts)

Gen 1 - ♾️ = The tapes (TSE, the infinite stories)

The founder exists in both the tapes and Gen 0 ( The founder is referenced in the first trailer that is labeled as being apart of gen 0, and also by Hetch in TSE). The founders cut is go in g to be the edit of TSE the founder wants us(in canon audience or actually us?) to see. Consider this, my theory is the Founder is connected to these stories, holding an influence over them in some ways (Hetch says the founder gave him a job. Either Hetch knows he is one story of many (connected to the inauguration?) or isn’t aware of anything. Or a bit of both. Either way, the Founder is giving Hetch orders which makes them connected inside the tapes and outside.) (Showfall is never directly referenced in gen 0, so unless it shows up in another generation (tape) I think it only exists in TSE)

Anyways, I think the founder collects these tapes for themself, and wants “us” to see the Founders Cut version which is the “purest form”. Which brings into questions that only be answered when the Cut comes out. Will it have more details or will it be cutting certain parts out? What makes the cut so pure in comparison to the livestreams? Were we even supposed to see the livestreams?

Another question I really want to know is the timeline and how *whatever organization is connected to the founder* is related to Z (i think they’re called Z, it’s the twitter diary Chronicle 0 person) because i FEEL like they’re connected somehow and I realllly want a timeline for it. Did the founder create the tapes that Z found? Or maybe it’s something even more wild and Z is the founder. Maybe they found the tapes and got the idea to make some of their own. Plus there’s a police report that falls into the timeline somewhere?

I’m thinking the tapes were made, Z found them, unauthorized watching of them commenced, then police yadda yadda. I just neeeed answers to whatever this all is.

NOT TO EVEN MENTION whatever is still going on with the whole “Find (kill) the founder, everything has a purpose” video and how similar it is to the Founders Cut trailer with its “You can’t leave” (I don’t know for a fact that they’re both related, but their vibe just feels so similar I can’t explain it)

WHY are we finding the founder? Is there still some censoring going on within the media that is connected to TSE?? In T_1 I got the initial vibe that there’s one “Entiity” and another “Entity” (I have no idea what to call them, company?). Entity 1 is trying to spread misinformation and censoring things and Entity 2 is trying to stop them, (Don’t conform, learn the history). What does this mean in relation to TSE?? Is the founders cut going to be a real example of The censorship and retelling of a story in the wrong way?

All of this to say, i’m so excited for the Founder’s Cut, it’s going to give me so much more than I already have to think about

@123happily

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I think it's really rich how the Loki series showrunners like to talk about Loki's problems and emotions as if he were some moody, hormonal teenager, while currently in the show Sylvie is acting like some sullen, edgy, emo bitch-brat, hating everything and everyone, sticking safety pins in her armor and working at frickin' McDonalds. And this is supposed to be seen as cooler than Loki because her "trauma was worse and her scars are deeper", yadda yadda yadda. Like??? Do they not see their own double standard??? Do they not smell their own bullshit???

I know you aren't watching the show, and the Loki series is your least favorite subject right now, it is mine too, but every time I see something related to it I just. Want to put my fist through a wall. Everything these people have said about Loki is so wrong it's like my brain can't comprehend it. Anyway thank you for being so incredibly patient with all the Loki-related anons, including mine!

And on the subject of Sylvie's armor, I can't stand seeing her wear that design. If she is so special, being "her own person" and all, then she really should stop co-opting Loki's costume and find something else. Something that's just as, um...."original" as she is. 😒

Hey, I love the anons so keep 'em coming! (I know I'm super slow with them though, so sorry about that)

I couldn't agree more about the double standard. It genuinely baffles me that they're so uninterested in one of the most complex characters the MCU has ever had. They clearly understand he's like a magnet for the fanbase, hence all the promo centring him, but they seem so keen to grab that complexity and turn it to shreds in order to make him more palatable, and it's like... he already has a lot of fans kissing his ass. You want more? Don't change him, just make a good series! Get the same freaking character acting the same way he's always been, put him in situations and we'll watch the damn thing even if it's not that good just to see him. What's not clicking?! 🤦‍♀️

It doesn't make sense to me. Disney+ needed the Marvel series to be profitable, and they want a bigger audience and more money. Okay, cool. But why, why do the execs think the only way to get people interested is by nerfing the characters and making them simpler? It's such a classist belief that ""people"" will only understand something if it's on its most superficial state.

It reminds me of this idiot minister in the UK who said he was worried people wouldn't be able to understand The Crown is fiction and not a documentary on the actual events in real life. At the time so many news headlines read "The citizens are so stupid, they think TV series are an accurate depiction of reality!" instead of "This minister is so stupid he thinks everyone is as dumb as him".

Sorry about that, I needed to rant too lol I don't know what Sylvie is wearing now but I suppose she will be wearing the Loki armour still. It is funny, she's not a Loki but she has to wear the suit otherwise no one would remember she's supposed to be a Loki since she doesn't act like one at all. See how Loki is wearing stupid TVA clothes and we all know who he is? But she has to wear the Loki suit.

[andromacheflints]

humbly requesting u talk abt ur ocs <3

rainbow i love you. anyway aranj and myrem I've been dying to talk about aranj and myrem but I kinda struggle to because they are kinda tied up in worldbuilding?? so get ready to hear that

so i have this pre-modern alternate world setting that i use mostly as a sandbox, and in this world there is a valley and in this valley there are some people who are called lichu (name not set in stone. like their language is called lichuek and -ek means "in the manner of" but its been a while since i worked on lichuek and i think i might want to add a suffix to mean "people" and ANYWAY) sometimes these people are organised in kingdoms and states of their own and sometimes they are part of other states.

anyway there were these two girls who were childhood friends, murem and aranj, who were sort of rich but then murem's family fell off and, being very charming and very clever, she ended up scamming people. and then ended up being run off the country for scamming people. and aranj was like "well I can't let you leave alone" and went with her. so and so they go to Nejbekar (a thriving city-state which features A Lot in the stories i write for this world) to continue being scams. and myrem was like Okay we're in the big city now we gotta refine our act, we'll say im land-owning nobility that has been Exiled from our Land (there's prooooooobably some unrest thats actually happening in their country at that point but i haven't really ironed that one out) and that you are my servant*

*now the thing about servants and lichuek culture is that there is this literary archetype of the Vassal/Servant/Steward sort of, who is a bit like the knight errant in the sense that they did not really Exist but have cultural value as a literary figure and is associated with The Noble Past. and like the vassal is supposed to be loyal to their lord yadda yadda and Most Importantly to take care of their lord's grave after they die (because in middle lichuek literature the lord usually dies young doing something heroic and brilliant) [ask me how this is reflected in their creation myth<3] (and also lord is not exactly a "lord" in the feudal european sense. its more like someone who can command loyalty and Deserves Loyalty) (yes this means lichuek culture has built-in support for all kinds of grifters. dont worry about it)

but the thing is, right, that for myrem the whole thing is an act. she expects them to go home at night and switch it off.

but aranj. who has very little ambition of her own. who has Already spent her whole life following myrem (who really Is brilliant and charismatic while aranj is..jjust some guy honestly). who Already expects that Myrem will die young doing something brilliant and heroic. who misses her home and find some connection to it by embodying this role (and also in the promise that someday she'll return to bury myrem)…she's living for that shit!

(and thats another thing - murem would be just fine living in nejbekar for the rest of her life but aranj Pines for Home and has Very Complicated feelings on murem being the reason they had to leave) (even though she did not have to leave) (but she had to)

meanwhile myrem is straight-up in love with aranj but aranj does not reciprocate (partly cause she's Found A Model for what their relationship should be like and thinks that a relationship with her would be debasing to Myrem. partly because she Just Does Not See Myrem Like That). She'll worship her but not kiss her and its driving myrem insane because she could order her. technically. and murem wants aranj to love her but she thinks she would only do it out of obedience, which not the thing she wants!!!

and its this thing right where aranj wants to serve myrem so much that it comes on the other end as being an inconvenience

and i just. yeah. they love each other very deeply but on very different terms and i love them for that

[racke7]

Me vs FF14 part... 3?

Sooo... recently I've gotten a bit frustrated with FF14.

A lot of this is due to FF14 locking a lot of cool items behind their subscription-paywall. (All PvP stuff, lots of dungeons, impossible-to-get materials, etc.)

However, this frustration also made me glance at the "game timers", from things like Treasure-Maps and the Command-Squadron (18h refresh-rate), to the refresh of the dailies (every 24h), and realizing that this is such a blatant case of psychological manipulation.

See, if you want to "optimize" your time playing the game? You effectively have to play it on an ever-rotating schedule (instead of just "at X time every day"). And whilst this level of dedication is very unlikely to be very common (it's not that important, surely), it does highlight a clear attempt of pushing its players to play: "several times per day, but not necessarily for very long".

And that's... basically the exact same manipulation-tactics that predatory mobile-games are going for (I should know, I was playing Arknights every day for well over three years).

And, as someone who recently quit one such game and greatly enjoyed the experience of not having to deal with that shit anymore?

Even if I've enjoyed dungeon-diving in FF14 (it really is a lot of fun, and you meet a lot of interesting characters), this has somewhat soured me on the game once again.

(I feel like I could probably shrug it off if I had a stable income and could just subscribe without worrying, but my long-term financial stability is very much in question, so...)

I'm definitely not uninstalling it tomorrow or anything, but my frustration with FF14 finally convinced me to pick up Skyrim again.

(Where I immediately made an incredibly bullshit-powerful character, because it's been so long that I forgot that attaining godhood is something you need to be actively counteracting if you want to have a good time in Skyrim.)

And as I was playing through Skyrim with a new-new character (that was very handicapped), it occurred to me that for all that Skyrim is incredibly shitty for many reasons, a lot of its early quests are actually remarkably dynamic and flexible.

FF14 has its MSQ that just goes on and on and on, and other quests and dungeons are interspersed between these events. You play through the MSQ (that is insanely long) to unlock the rest of the game basically.

In comparison, Skyrim really said "if you don't wanna, you can just focus on something else, no pressure". A few things are required for unlocking certain things (you need to be Dragonborn in order to get through the Civil War, etc), but generally? Pick a direction and start walking, the world isn't going to stop you.

The thing that specifically made me pause was Bleak Falls Barrow. As the first real dungeon, it obviously got a lot of extra-love, but still. You can end up at this dungeon in three different ways.

You talk to the shopkeep in Riverwood, and he asks you to track down the bandits that stole his unique-looking ornament.

You talk to the court-wizard of Whiterun, and agree to fetch some ancient wisdom-McGuffin from a deep dungeon filled with the undead.

You happened to stumble across it as you hiked through the mountain. (I don't think that the dungeon is locked, but I could be wrong.)

Regardless of how you got to that point, upon entering you're treated to a scene where a bunch of bandits talk about a "treasure" to be found. This sets the stage for when you find the ornament, along with notes about how it's apparently supposed to be "the key" for finding this treasure.

Then you go through the dungeon yadda-yadda-yadda, and now you have an already-used key along with the knowledge that this key was stolen from a shop in Riverwood. You also have a mysterious McGuffin, and if you go to Whiterun, the court-wizard will be very happy to see you already in possession of it.

It's a combination of two quests, and it basically sets both of them going in such a way that it doesn't matter how you got to that point, because you now have (almost) all of the knowledge to just finish both of the quests. And it's... honestly really smooth? I don't think I've every really paused to think about that before.

Skyrim has a well-deserved reputation as a buggy mess, with both boringly generic quests and incredible amounts of spaghetti-code. And there's definitely a lack of being able to really make choices, but-...

But when you compare Skyrim's freedom to FF14's? Holy shit, Skyrim is actually a marvel of its genre.

That's not to say that FF14's extremely linear MSQ is bad, it's just a very different kind of storytelling and gameplay than Skyrim. And I feel like I've spent so much time listening to gripe about Skyrim (and tearing my hair out over Skyrim not fucking working) that I feel like I've forgotten that it really is an incredible game in its own ways.

[greatshell-rider]

one of the best things martha wells does is let murderbot retain its ownership of its body and boundaries. it's so common to see in fiction for a traumatized and "anti social" or shy character to, over the course of the story, "come out of their shell" in order to show closeness and trust between them and another character. that's frequently done by "fixing" the character's preferences/actions--after everything that the friend has done for the traumatized character, now's their chance to show how they've "healed" by getting rid of their boundaries and acting how the friend does, how they're "supposed" to

for murderbot, that could've been done in so many dumb cheesy ways, like murderbot allowing dr mensah and the other survey members to hug it whenever they wanted, or murderbot "making the effort" to look them in the eyes when talking, or even murderbot promising to stay by mensah's side/on preservation forever, getting rid of its hard currency cards because it knows it won't need them anymore yadda yadda retching as i speak

instead, murderbot's needs and preferences are the ones being accommodated for. mensah gets it its drones so not only can it build its own surveillance system in order to do its job/feel safe, but so it can interact with humans in the manner it prefers, watching through cameras rather than making eye contact itself. pin lee literally puts "no hugging" in its contract. despite preservation primarily using a barter system, murderbot is paid in hard currency that allows it to leave the station/return to the corporation rim if ever it wants to. it's not forced to conform to the "normal" standards of showing and reciprocating affection and trust just to make the audience go awww how touching

that makes the times murderbot does allow itself to be touched all the more significant, because it shows how serious the situation is lol, since likely a hostile is shooting at them and murderbot is using its body as a shield or picking them up to run away or is carrying them as protection or because they're hurt - all things murderbot is okay to do, because that's its job, that's what it's most fiercely passionate about, keeping its clients alive and safe. and even after an event like that, it's never presumed by its friends that they're allowed to cross murderbot's boundaries now, or that they can expect it to cross them regularly now. yet the level of caring remains the same!

murderbot's "wrong" actions are never treated as something to fix but are respected and accommodated for by the people it cares for and that is so fuckin important

[uriel-is-best-girl]

Continuation/revision of Orv Pokemon Au (SPOILERS?)

Ok so I made a pokemon orv au and now i want to revise it but first Im going to have to do some set up for changing the world of pokemon:

So like what if pokemon didn't all look the same/ were more focused on their pokedex entries? Like pokemon is just another word for animal and describes a the non-human creatures that inhabit the world. And furthermore if pokemon arent all the same, kind of like animals? So a growlithes would mostly look the same except with differences between them, just like a breed of dogs, huskies look different from eachother but all look like huskies. So for animals this works very well but for what I want to do I need to add another thing for ghost types. Which is that theyre classified more on how they formed/came to life and what they do rather than what they look like. So for example, bannette has a dex entry that read that it was once a doll that was thrown away, so a bannette is any doll or tou that moves around in search of its previous owner. And so on and so forth. And pokemon moves are things pokemon are just able to do. Think of it like a wolf has the ability to bite, but to have it train it in order to do that on command. Or a dog has the ability to smell low blood sugar, but you have to train it how to do that. But its with pokemon and theit moves.

Ok, with that sort of set up, let's get into kdj, who is still a gengar, but that more so means that kdj is a ghost that plays tricks on people and steals life force from people to try and make himself a companion. But before that, before kdj is alive and he's heavily bullied and his bullies end up killing him qccidentally/indirectly by beatinh him up in an alley afterschool. Kdj is too weak to get up and ends up passing out. When he wakes up its raining hard and yeah yadda yadda kdj ends up dying there. Now so for gastly its just a cloud of gas thats sorta gaining sentience, and then haunter is a spirit/remnants of a person/strong emotions turning that gasous body and into a haunter. So kdj starts haunting his bullies, the people that killed him. But its more so kdj's feelings of resentment and anger than him at this point. And all the bullies get is this sensation of being licked and theyre constantly haunted and it gets so bad/they get so sick from having their life force sucked out that they end up going to a spirit medium who knows its a haunter and fights it. Haunter! Kdj barely manages to escape with like 3 hp. Now because this is more the emotions than kdj, he starts haunting other people.

Over time, months or years, the emotions of resentment die down and kdj slowly gains more of himself and evolves/turns into a gengar. Now gengar! Kdj knows he was once human and remembers some but not all of his past. He does not remember how he died, but he does remember how incredibly lonely he was. He had no one and no purpose. So now he 'lives' trying to change that. This includes haunting people, following people around, and in the beginning stealing other people's life force to try and make his own companion.

Kdj stumbles upon a grumpy teenager named yjh by accident, kdj is just kind of wandering places with no particular aim. Kdj ends up seeing yjh at school and kdj feels a sense of familiarity, and pain. Watching how lonely he his, kdj can see himself in yjh, the way no one talks about him but they all whisper, the bruises (that kdj will later learn are from fights), and most of all, that guarded look in his eyes. So kdj ends up following yjh around, watching him from his shadow.

Ok so I kind of forgot that this was supposed to be a pokemon au, uhhhhh, idk maybe I just want cool ghost kdj and then to give him love. I want a kdj who becomes lgy's only friend and also ends up brefriending sys. A ghost kdj who somehow forms all these relationships with kimcom in the afterlife and is happy.

[luimagines]

Subject 10-Mulan Link

You have now gained the accesses file page of the chain links case number #19835 Corrupted heroes for Subject #10

Current state: Safe

legal name: Link,last name unknown

Nicknamed: Mulan 

Biological age: unknown

Chronical age: unknown

Hieght: Unknown

Weight: unknown

Visiting accesse time for subject Zero: Must be planned ahead of schedule time in order to have private meetings and clerance from head chief researcher Queen zelda and level 5 personal clerance

Physical description: Subject 10 is a short haired Hylian woman who wears a green tunic and knight gear armor.They have a well built muscular body and a ferret that rests around thier neck as well as scars and cuts around thier body.The most noticeable scare they have are three little cuts under thier chin and a long vertical cut across thier right cheek.

Information: Subject 10 first arrived at the castle carrying subject zero and subject 11 bloodied and badly injured with a broken arm and serveral fractured bones as well as stab/slash wounds.They came in as duplicates of four identical versions of subject 10 dressed variouse colors such as brown,cyan,yellow and green.Only one of the 4 sets had arrived at the castle with subject Zero and Subject 11 while the others fought off to keep back the “chain” while back up knights and town gaurds were deployed to apreheand them.Subject 10 is not placed under any containment but is required to come to the SCRPP research site to have check ups and testing as well as recorded interviews with research personales.Subject 10 refuses to have to go anywhere without her ferret campaion so all interviews and meetings are held with subject 10′s ferret either on the site with them or curled around subject 10′s neck.Subject 10 is in current possesion of the master sword and four sword as well as veriouse other items from the group(but not all for research purposes and other classified resons).They are to be informed of any drastic procedures that are to be done to any of the known subjects and participats of case file #19835.Subject 10 is one of the only subjects out of all the links who dose not show a red essence seeping out or show any signs of agression or possesive behvaiors for subject Zero. Research is still going underway to find out a way as to why it is and if blood or dna samples can be exracted from subject 10 in order to find a cure.

[interview recoding of subject 10 #1]

Dr.Jean: Now beining case file number #1983 dash 1 subject 10 interview of the anomalie the Curropted Heros. Time started at 10:89. Interview researcher personale Dr.Jean, tag number 893 of site 13 room A14.

Dr.Jean: Ok,lets start.Rember at anytime you start to feel uncomfortable we can stop the interview,alright?

Link: ok..

Dr.Jean: ok,lets start off with something simple.Subject 10 can you please state your name?

Link: Mulan.

Dr.Jean: I am sorry,let me clarify I meant your real name.

Link: oh,right..its uh,its Link.

Dr.Jean: Good,can you state your last name as well?

Link: I dont have one.

Dr.Jean: Are you sure? No documnets? Family? Anyway to file for one?

Link: Yes,I am sure.I dont have one.Thats it.

Dr.Jean: Right,right, *ahem* can you tell us how long you’ve know the links?

Link: We had all know each other for about a year and a half, and today would have been our second year together if…you know,had things still been normal with everyone.

Dr.Jean: how did you meet these people to begin with?

Link: I was out exploring the outskits of the forests behind my house one day and saw a bright light,so i got curiouse and followed it.I found a portal and went through it.I was transported to the guredo desert and wondered a around for a bit before I found the chain.it turns out the portal took me to a diffrent time period and there was some time,dimentional stuff going on and we were all gathered to fix it or something.

Dr.Jean: How did you meet subject Zero?

Link: Subject Zero? oh,do you mean [redacted]?

Dr.Jean: Link,please reframe from saying subject Zero’s real name during this interview.

Link: Fine.

Dr.Jean:thank you,pleas contiue.

Link: We first met them a few months after lucky came when [ audio connection has been temperarly lost]

Dr.Jean: Intresting and how did you feel about Subject zero?

Link: I didn’t think much of them, I thought that they were ok.they were kind of nice and everyone liked them,so I did too.But there was something just…off about them.

Dr.Jean:Off like what? Did you distrust them?

Link: no,no,no not distrsut or anything like that…just that something was not right…there was  just something…..something WRONG with them,I dont know how to describe it, they were just not normal in a very bad way.But I ignored it and didn’t think much on it. I think they were just…diffrent.

Dr.Jean: Why did you help them escape?

Link: Because it was the right thing to do.I wanted to get them out of a situation where they were held captive and also keep the others from killing each other on who got to keep them.Its not that complicated. besides it my fault for not stopping this sooner.

Dr.Jean: How?

Link: What?

Dr.Jean: How do you think it was your fault?

LInk:[sighs] its…it was all right there I didn’t want to see it,I knew everyone was starting to act a little wierd but I didn’t want to take it that seriously,I didn’t want to think badly about my fami-friends..my friends…Until one day when they had gone completly overboard and uh…..I had found some of them beating down on a man after they were flirting with..with subject Zero…and to say that they looked like they were thugs when they were doing it would be too much of a understatement…They looked like they were having a good time doing it too.I swear when I saw them that day at the allyway they were not the heros I knew and travled with and as faw as i was concerned they were strangers-no,not even that,they were monsters…And the look on thier faces when I yelled out to them and they turned to me…it was like they were going to kill me right there and then……[Inhales heavily before exhailing shakingly] they weren’t normal….thier eyes….I don’t think I can really ever forget those empty vacant looks..it was like someone els was there…Since then things had started to get worse.

[suject 10 begins to pet her ferret at this time seeming to find comfort in it from thier stress]

Dr.Jean: Who were the ones that were there at the time of the incident?

Link: it was…I think Twilight,Four,Sky and Wild were all there.

Dr.Jean: Even Sky?

LInk: Yeah, him too.I rembered the second I started yelling and taring a new in asshole for them he just came up from behind the group and started to try to “calm me down” and explain how the shit I just saw wasn’t what it seemed like and yadda yadda yadda,typical gaslighting you know? But I wasn’t going to fall for some shit like that so I got the man out of there and to a medic, payed for all his expenses and reported them to Time and Warriors. Honestly I was so pissed off and in shock about it all that I had finally started notice and realize more and more things that were wrong about the group that I use to just keep ignoring.I still didn’t try to do anything serious about it though until the end of our journey.

Dr.Jean:What did you mean by noticeing things?

Link: …….just things….and looking back at it now should have been obviouse red flags but I never pressed for them.I think the first time I did it was with Wsrriors but he kept brushing me off saying things like “everyone is just protective of [redacted]” or “that you are looking way too into this” and when he did listen to me he would tell me that he’d keep a closer eye on the group.I suppose you can take a guess that, he did not, in fact, keep up the promis that he made.

Dr.Jean: did at any point in your adventures feel,were attempted to or successfully attacked or harmed by any members of this group during you adventures before the escape?

Link:No-well I mean yes but…[  exasperated sigh]…yeah….yeah there were a few…ok maybe a lot…But I guess the one that really stuck with me was when,uh,when Time held me up against a wall and tryed to cut my throat during a heated argument about…..them.

[Subject 10 reaches over to rub on a faint cut across thier neck]

[the ferret circles closer to her neck nuzzling it head into hers in an attempt to comfort Link]

Link: Aww,its ok little guy,I am fine right now.Don’t worry fluffy.

Dr.Jean: i am sorry if its too much but what was the argument about?

Link:…….

[subject 10 stays silent for a few minutes before speaking again]

Link: It was about if we should kill subject zero.

Dr.Jean: Then do you think we should kill subject zero?

[subject 10 stops petting fluffy and stares at the doctore without giving an answer for several more minutes]

Link:[a shallow exhale leaves thier mouth] …….I……..I….

[the sounds of sirens and alarms going off]

Annocemnet :There is a containment breach in the D -12 containment building floor,please all personels and staff go to the evacuation exits and safety rooms while special elit force knights handle the situation.Subject 4 case 19835- 1,2,3 and 4 cololrs have all escaped.If you see him or any of the colors they are to be neutralized and brought back to thier containment cells.All other staff do not ingage unless -

Dr.Jean: oh Hylia,looks like we’ll have to cut this short and we have to hurry and-wait where are you going! The safety room is this way! Link!

Link: [distant and muffled]I know,I just need to go out and kick a few stobbern little butts back in thier cells first-!

Dr.Jean: Link the elit knights can handle it you don’t have to-Link!! Link! Sir Link! Lin-!!

[audio ends here]

I am doing wind next

This is long, so I'll react as I read.

oh SHOOT THEY RAN!!!

MULAN USES THE FOUR SWORD!!

[REDACTED]?!?!!?

LUCKY!!!

AUDIO CONECTION TEMPORTARILY LOST!?!?!?!?!?

THEY GONNA KILL A GUY-KIL MULAN!!? SKY IS GASLIGHTING!?!?

TIME CUT THEM?!?!?

MULAN GONNA KILL SUBJECT ZERO!?!?!?

THEY ESCAPE!?!?!? THE COLORS ESCAPE!!!!

MULAN GOES TO FIGHT?!?!?

MY GIRL!!!!

OH MY GOD

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi! Goldy, do you know why are jikookers making such a big deal out of jk saying “I’m hyung ‘s copy cat”. I’m I missing something here , why is everyone acting like they just confessed their love , if anything vmin were more sus 😂

Lol shippers...

We are like a bunch of boohbahs on crack every day. We get excited over everything and anything- which I think is the point of shipping though. Lol.

Not sure what you are missing as I haven't seen the show in its entirety yet...

But off the top of my head, I'd say it's probably because of the blushing and the whole Kook's ear turning red bit when JM was addressing him about copying him.

He did the same thing in the Be.TS Vlive when Jimin put him on the spot about posting on his birthday. Jimin makes him shy

It's been several years and Jimin still has an effect on him. I think it's cute.

Also, the bit about them confessing...

You actually not wrong. Lol.

JM used to say JK copies him because JK liked him and so JK would deny that all the time. To accept that he was imitating JM would mean he was admitting he liked Jimin- that he thought Jimin was cool, had impeccable style yadda yadda.

Jimin might as well had asked JK to confess he liked him.

They both had a habit of trying to get the other to confess their feelings for them in the past.

JM: I am Army.

JK: Do you like me that much?

JM: I had blue eyes first.

JK: No. Mine is bluer

JM: Stop imitating me.

Do you like me that much?

Jk: No

It was their way of flirting. So I guess in effect, in admiting he imitates JM, Jimin sort of got JK to officially admit he likes him🤷🏽‍♀️

'Do you like me?'

'Do you?'

'Do you?'

And he acted so innocent about it too.

This man! Lol

That innocent pout afterwards my God. Lmho.

There's just a lot of history between those two. A lot, and it's nice to see them remind eachother of that.

And I think it's the history and memories, the nolstagia he evoked in JK with that comment that had JK blushing hard especially if he read double meaning in that request.

From, his reaction I'd say he did.

All these double entendres chilee.

Its intriguing JK had such a strong reaction to something seemingly less intense or even cringe. That comment was supposed to be a safe bet. The safest conversation JM could have with Kook in front of new audience to not make things awkward in the room and yet...

There's no hope for JK. Dude is gone. Bid him farewell to gay boulevard🤧

Jimin was like why are you blushing it's nothing heavy or something like that and that reminded me again of that whole, 'did I scold you" bit from New Jersey.

Jimin had a strong reaction to what JK deemed a trivial issue- Which I gotta smirk at. Smirk.

It's interesting that of all the things he could ask Jk, this is what he chose to ask him. I think he genuinely believed it was a safer conversation to have- Y'all think VMin was wilding, wait till you meet the Jikooknims.

Imagine if JK had said what V said to JM or if JM had said that to JM. Imagine that...

I mean I get it, if they are going to be regulars on traditional SK media now, they have to be able to interact 'normally' within the group without the members or eachother panicking and acting like Jikook be spelling the nuclear codes with their butts.

We've discussed the gradual shift in BigHit's marketing model but it seems with all the Asian hate crimes, racism, stigmatization of Asians and Asian Americans in the wake of the pandemic, it's become imperative that they redirect their focus and attention to SK to solidify their presence and hold in their home market.

I'm afraid we might be seeing a shift towards the company pandering to their roots and adhering to traditional media practices with mostly one foot in the international market, and one foot in their home market.

And if that's the case, Jikook would have to be able to tether the line of their closet without making things awkward for eachother and the members lest they risk exposing themselves to the gay hateration and criticism rampant in Korea.

Bang PD have made it perfectly clear, he is not about the risk taking life. That he prefers as a company to play things safe- I wonder if he's stance on that has changed in recent times.

But I don't think when it comes to it, he'd risk it for them. He's not gonna shove their alternative lifestyle in conservative spaces like that. Chilee.

Anywho, Jimin likes to rile JK up and watch him squirm sometimes but naa I don't think that was the agenda this time around...

Then there was this bit also

Which I think my guy spilled right there😏

I've been saying for the longest time BigHit staff take stock in the Jikook business. There you have it.

They style Jikook. They style BTS. So all the times they've appeared in couple outfits, matching shoes, complimentary hairstyles, all the time they deliberately cut from JK to Jimin or Jimin to JK, all the times they've paired Jikook up, isolated them from the group so Jikook can give them a moment-

When I say BigHit is intentional in the way they brand Jikook within the group and in the way they push those two not as friends but as a 'couple'

And because of this people scream Jikook is fan service blah blah nonsense.

But the question have always been, why does these two grown ass men go along with it. Do they not know what it means when of all seven they are the two that are constantly marketed as 'lovers?" They are not twins, neither are they twelve and so why the need to match their fits?

And how come none of them object to this?

Why don't they ask questions???

Bet. Bet there's a reason for that.

As for Vmin all I have to say is...

Tae Kook who? Tae Kook WHERE?!

Lmho. Vmin, TaeJin, (Tae kook) VHope, Taegi

In that particular order for Tae's ships. The last three are fluid with Tae Kook alternating anywhere from 3rd to the last position lol.

I saw their shippers bust out their go to, 'Tae was being sarcastic" he hates Jimin rhetoric - like

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Tae talks some strong Vmin agenda.

We been knew. We been said it

He flirts Jimin hard to gay proportions too.

'In love with my Soulmate- a memoir written by Kim Taehyung. Coming soon to a bookshop near you. Lmho.

If Jimin catches feelings for Tae one day it's game over for us all🤣🤣🤣🤣

'We need to stop. This game is dangerous.'

Then he proceeds to gulp on top of it 🤣🤣

Reminds me of when JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was fumbling and Jimin said, cut the cameras. Deadass. Lol

'Jk don't answer that' 🤭

Why shouldn't he answer that?

Jimin is a funny guy. A funny gay guy🤭

And did y'all see how hard Yoongi screamed when Tae said that?

Lolololololololololololololololololololololololol

Tae doesn't need to convince me he has feelings for Jimin. I'm convinced all by myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And is it me or did Tae look like he didn't believe Jimin when JM said he liked him too??🤔

I can't wait to watch the whole thing.

I love their relationship. I hate when people invalidate it. VMin does not invalidate Jikook nor does Jikook invalidate VMin or even Tae Kook. They all are, unique and they are beautiful me thinks.

They ought not be compared in this way but celebrated.

It's not a competition.

Talk of celebrating ships, did you see Tae and Kook too??? 🤭🤭🤭🤭

I love seeing them in a good place in their dynamic like this.

It's the look he shot JK when the envelope ended up infront of him for me😂

Tae is hilarious I swear! Lmho.

I kinda lowkey wished it was for him I won't lie.

It's the same energy as when JK grabbed his neck and said he wanted to ride in the car with Tae. (If those subs were correct. Can't trust any unofficial subs on any Tuktuk moment💀)

Tae was like 👀 waeyo? Lmho.

I'm off to ship Tae Kook and VMin.

Keep your eyes on the gays for me.

Bye🤣

💜💜💜💜

Signed,

GOLDY

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

I get it, Anon, I get it. All of the Pillars are alive. But, I'll be lying if I said I'm not mad at Muzan, but he's hot. And Muzan you is still a dick.

HEEE HEEE *MJ voices*

Overall, this is really fun to write!

Kibutsuji Muzan x Friendly!Reader (Domestic Taisho EraAU)

Let's say. Muzan didn't really care about the Pillars. He actually sickened by "Killing Muzan by Ubuyashiki: A Whole Plan" scenarios, but keep searching for Blue Spider Lily.

He didn't order his Upper and Lower Moons to kill the Pillars. Whatever, they could slay his minions, yadda yadda but he will not lay up his hand on the Pillars nor the Ubuyashikis.

The reason was simple.

You.

"Muzan, it's me!" Your cheerful voice was heard from the front door, he stopped everything he do and quickly rushed to you

"Good morning, (y/n)."

"Morning, Muzan!" You put your shoes on the shoe rack. "I will make breakfast, like always! What do you want, Muzan?"

"Everything you cook will be fine by me."

"Okay!"

He actually didn't need to eat that, but seeing you with your Demon Slayer uniform covered with apron every morning was really pleasant. Also your food is somehow great on his taste bud.

"Oh, thank you for the antidote! Shinobu-chan said that she wanted to know you, but since you said to not tell anyone, I came up with a reason!" You put rice on his bowl and gave it to him.

"And what kind of reason you give to that Shinobu?" He took that bowl and started to eat. Who the fuck is Shinobu, he thought.

"I said that I picked it somewhere on the ground!"

"That's the stupidest reason you could come out with. And she believed that?"

"I don't know, she just sighed and continued her works." Muzan chuckled. He usually stared at you eating, almost forgot his own food.

He remembered the first time he met you. He was hiding after he lose on his fight with Tanjirou and the Pillars at Ubiyashiki residence.

Muzan recognized you as one of the new Pillars and about to change his appearance but he was caught by you. He really thought he will be killed

But instead, you said, "Are you lost? Can I help you? You look pale."

Instead killing you on the spot for saying him 'pale, he's playing along with the role, told you that his name is Toshikuni Muzan and he's a doctor who had special disease that couldn't stand under the sun.

When he knew that you are new Pillar, he thought about taking advantage from you to gather information about Demon Slayers. He thought about turning you into demon, or abducting you from there.

But none of it was done.

Now, the whole plan is a mess. His intelligence and tactical thoughts are useless. He was simply enthralled by your own charm. He could read your mind, clearer than the sky. He never sense any animosity thorough your head. It's just cloud of full happiness and full of kind thought.

He fell, really hard, for you.

And you didn't realize because thanks to you, the demon races including Upper and Lower Moons were about to extinct because he didn't create them anymore. He simply ordered his only trusted demon and Upper Moons now, Kokushibou and Akaza, to searched Blue Spider Lily. The rest could fuck off.

And now, you became his 'personal assistant' including his lover.

After cleaning the plates, you headed out to headquarters to give daily reports.

"Where's my daily kiss?"

"Hm, what kiss?" You stood in front of the shoe rack, looking confused.

"Here." He pointed his cheek.

"But aren't that supposed to do by married couple?" You tilted your head.

"Aren't we going to be a married couple soon?"

"We are going to be?" You became more confused, it made Muzan infuriated but he hid it well. "Just once won't hurt, I guess."

You tip-toed and hold his shoulder, did a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Have a good day."

"Bye, see you on night!"

You didn't live with him because you still have sick dad and little sister at your home. He has offered you to stay at his house, along with your family but you refused since you didn't want to disturb his research.

When you don't have something to do on the headquarters or currently not training your students, you visited him again in the afternoon.

You usually asked him what he wanted to do, helping him or sometimes just sitting on his lab and reading some journals he made.

"How is your father? Did the medicine I made worked?" He asked while shaking his test tube slowly.

"Yes!" You jumped from your seat and ran towards his desk. "He felt so much better! Thanks to you, Muzan! I probably never find a kind doctor like you!"

"Well, that compliment seems super honest to me."

"Of course, I'm honest! Right! How should I pay you back?"

"Date with me, tonight."

"Whaaat?? Aren't we always dating at night? Well, except the day when I have mission."

"That's fine."

"If you insist, we'll go!"

He smiled again. You always succeeded on attempt to make him pleased, more than anyone else. It's just a simpel thing though, but he appreciated it.

After eat lunch, you took a seat on his sofa, doze off and take a nap there. Muzan joined you, sometimes he slept on your thighs, sometimes you slept on his shoulder when he reading his book.

"Muzan-sama, I came to-"

"Ssh." Muzan put his finger in front of his lips when he saw Akaza from the window.

"Ah." Akaza lowered his voice when he peeked up on Muzan's shoulder. "Miss (y/n) is here, I see. Excuse me."

He didn't want anyone to disturb your nap. Not after he saw your eye bags, plus scars here and there.

Well, should I ordered my remained demons to escape or don't attack her, he thought. He looked at you again. Wow, what an idiot expression.

"Mu... Zan... How about... Scaly... Skin..."

He wiped your drool, and smiled with the same idiot expression with you.

It really hits different when people were in love, indeed.

When night comes, your 'date' with him is started.

You will hold his hand and pulled him around on the way. The reason, again, is simple.

"I'm not really familiar around this city."

"Huh? Even though you live near here? No worries! I'll be your guide!" You showed him smug smile, and grabbed his hand.

If Douma was around, he probably laughed at you because he knew that Muzan could remember roads and places in the blink of eye.

But, no, he won't tell you the truth.

When you walked around, you usually bumped on your fellow Pillars.

"Tanjirou!!"

"(y/n)! How are you doing?" Tanjirou approached you with bright smile.

"I'm great!"

"Did you just go alone? I just got news from Kasugaigarasu about this place. There are demons, it's dangerous to walk around alone in this city."

"Huh, but I walked with Mu- I mean, Toshikuni-san, my- eh? Where did he go."

"Hm?"

"It- It's my acquaintance." You looked around like a chick lose its mother.

"I see. Anyway, please be careful."

"I will! Thank you, Tanjirou!"

After Tanjirou waved his hand, you looked for him. "Muzan! Muzan, where are you- whoa!" You almost slipped and someone caught your back in time.

"Careful there, lady."

"Muzan! Where have you been? I just meet one of the strongest Pillar, I wanted to introduce you to him."

"I didn't want to meddle with Pillars except you."

"Why is that?"

"By the way-" He put a red hairpin on your hair. You tapped your head, feeling something. "Perfect."

"Muuuu, you always bought me things when we're dating! The only things I ever gave to you were handmade omamori and knitted scarf. It's so unfair!" You light-hitting his chest, he just laughed while playfully fend your hand.

"That's the essential of dating." He patted your hair. "Let's go."

You're still grumpy but soon forget about that. Both of you continued your walk, from the square to a little bit quiet place.

"Oh, hi, grandpa!! How is your udon selling today?"

"Auntie, let me help you!"

"Girl, you look cute on that dress!"

Muzan rubbed his forehead. Are you really not knowing the concept of 'Minding your own business'?

"You're really friendly."

"These are the people who helped me!"

"Just a little help."

"It means a lot for me!"

"Hah, read the situations will you." He mumbled. He didn't really like her being so friendly towards other. It really pissed him off.

"Oh? Oh? Muzan, are you jealous?" You elbowed his ribs.

"Yes, so kiss me." He moved his face towards you. You hold his face down.

"Why is everything had to be resolve by kiss?! Muzan you-"

You suddenly stopped. The sense of demons lingered around your body.

"Muzan, back off." You unsheathed your hidden sword. "The demons are here. Tanjirou was right about the rumour."

You didn't waste your time. Not wanting the demons attacking first, you went to the direction where the demons were ready to kill you.

He just stood there while crossing his arms, smile proudly of his little baby slashing down numerous demons in no time.

Oh, what a poor demons, they probably wanted to report something to Muzan. But nah, he will just ask Akaza what happened

"Done! I'll give the reports thorough my crows later."

"What a reckless move." He wiped the blood on your cheek. "I see you're not hurt anywhere. Thank you for protecting me."

"Of course!"

"Let us continue our walk."

It's just both of you now, heading back to home.

"You see, Muzan. I might kill demon and all but..." You looked down and smiled vaguely. "I wonder what kind of life they had before they become demon. Is she a daughter? Future bride? A samurai? I don't know. But I always pray they will get a good life in the next reincarnation after I ended their life as a demon."

"Really? How thoughtful of you." He stopped and stood in front of his house.

"Yeah. So-" You looked at his eyes, grabbing his hand and clasped it gently. "I hope you could heal, I hope you could see the sun, feeling the warm dissipate into your body on our next life. I hope we could meet on our next life."

Again, he read your mind. Nothing. just pure thought about him being a complete healthy... Human. It's weird because he saw the human value inside you.

He didn't just fell for you, he was demolished by you to the ground.

Your sister sometimes told you to stay him at night because he seems lonely.

"Nee-chan, I will take care of father."

"But-"

"I'm a Demon Slayer too, count on me!"

"Well..."

"Toshikuni-san looks lonely in that big house, as his lover shouldn't you accompany him?"

Since there's no problem with it, sometimes you went to his house an sleep with him. When you do, he's really happy and always promised he didn't do anything weird towards you without your consent.

His bed was so big, unlike the futon on your house. After change into your bed robe, you likes to roll around without worry.

"You really like my bed?"

"Uh-hum." You put your cheek on his pillows. "It smelled like you."

"That's why I told you to move here." He positioned himself besides you. He tugged you into the blanket, kissed you on the forehead and brought you closer to his chest. He caressed your back until you fell asleep.

"Good night, Muzan."

"Good night, (y/n). Sweet dreams."

He didn't need sleep, he only need you to stay by his side.

Oh how he wish he went back to human again.

[acequeenking]

Hadestober #8

 Man With Feathers on His Feet - Hermes comes to Hades office with questions. Mr. Hades offers him a drink. (T; post-canon, Hades/Persephone and Hades & Hermes¹)

Mr. Hades watches Hermes; it is not often that his nephew comes into his office.  Mr. Hermes, by now, has surely heard the girl’s fate: gossip never seems to last long before it arrives on Mr. Hermes doorstep. Hades is not and has never quite been sure whether Hermes goes out of his way to find it, or if he’s just simply so fast he’s always running into the drama first hand. Either way, ain’t quite his business, and Mr. Hades doesn’t suffer from the terrible desire to know every little thing on earth the way most of his relatives do. Never was curious beyond his measure. Get burned that way. 

“Quiet here now,” Hermes says. What he means is: Hadestown’s quiet, the mills and the mines not going overtime. And that is true. He has not gone there to crack the whip. He cannot, not just as of yet. Even a dog as old as he needs time to lick his wounds.

Or run a victory lap, as the case may be. Suppose he’s won the day, ain’t he? Proved his case. Love ain’t enough, no matter how much he wants it to be.

“Always quiet, this time of year.” He shoots back; what he means is: my house is empty. What he also means: you yourself is the cause, always taking her away from me. Not his fault entirely but Mr. Hades keeps his grudges. “Missus does make her absence known.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hermes’ mouth shifts into a grin that once might have been cocksure; now, it’s too weathered for that. They’re all too weathered for that. “Sister makes herself known in all contexts.”

“That she does.” He smiles. Always liked that about his bride. Most girls played demure, but not his. Never his. First time she looked at him, he felt the ring of fire ‘round his throat and he had liked it. Knew right then and right there that he would marry her, whatever the gossip on Olympus.

Already misses her. His throat tightens. Funny how the icy absence of the woman hurt more than the scalding heat of her gaze.

“Drink?” He asks. Proper to be polite and Mr. Hades is always proper. Despite his grumpy reputation there’s rules to be obeyed, and he’s not unfamiliar with the requirements of playing host.

“Always been fond of a beer,” Hermes says.

“Whiskeys all I got.” Doesn’t keep the stocks so well-watered with poisons, so to speak, without his wife around to guzzle them down.

And he himself has never been one for soft liquors. Ain’t worth drinking if it doesn’t burn your throat.

“Please.” He nods at the desperation in his voice; Hermes has heard about the boy, then. He pours Hermes a double. Hermes nods appreciatively.

“Thanks, kindly.” Hades serves himself his own glass.

“To Persephone,” Hermes offers, which surprises Hades, but he’ll not contest it. An agreeable enough toast.

“To the queen.”

They clink their glasses together. Hermes swallows down his whiskey in one long gulp; Hades does the same. Neither of them says anything for a long, long moment.Both, he suspects, making the measure of the other. Hermes never does come for a social call to Mr. Hades.

“Rather thought you might offer the toast for Orpheus,” Hades says, finally breaking the silence.

Hermes shrugs. “Won’t help him, now.” Hermes says it flatly, without a hint of emotion. That feels off; Hermes has never been a stoic one.

“Thought you might be calling to…hmmm,” he pauses, studies Hermes. Hermes looks tired more than anything else. Certainly drained, and Hades cannot blame him there. He feels drained, too. Mr. Hades stares at his cards and opts to fold. He’s a big enough fellow that he doesn’t have to play the game when he doesn’t want to. “Renegotiate. For your boy.”

“Uncle,” Hermes says, quiet. Odd; he ain’t called Hades such often, though such is true. Their relationship has never quite been so close, and, frankly, ain’t a lot of people on earth Mr. Hades ain’t uncle to, given his brother’s proclivities to screw anything and everything that moves. Hermes goes quiet again, and Hades wordlessly refills his tumbler. Can afford to be generous can’t he, Mr. Hades who has his wife’s love, Mr. Hades who has his souls still toiling, Mr. Hades who has everything but proof that love and love alone is enough and therefore ought to feel a damn sight happier than he does?

“Thanks.” Hermes clears his throat. “As I was saying.”

“Yes.” He puts his boots up on the desk, pours himself a double. He should be happy, should be gloating his power. He ain’t.

“Only a fool attempts to renegotiate when the other party has all the power.” He cocks one eyebrow, looks Hades dead in the eye. “And I am a lot of things, Mr. Hades, but I sure as hell ain’t a fool.”

He laughs, despite his own melancholy. Hermes is many things indeed. And not a damn one of them is a fool.

“Boy broke the rules. He failed the trial. Wish it wasn’t so, but…” Hermes sighs. “Simple as that. Simple as that.”

“Yes.” Hades frowns into his glass. Wasn’t as if he wanted the boy to fail. Wasn’t as if he wasn’t hoping desperately for some – any – other result. Sure he knew the odds were long. Always has been a fan of the long-shot ponies, Mr. Hades. Paid off for him many a time, though gambling does tend to fall under his purview. “Why are you here, Hermes?”

“My job. Ferrying souls to where they need to go.” He puts down the glass on Mr. Hades table with a definitive bang, and Hades feels a chill come over him.

He raises his eyebrows. “I’m where I’m supposed to be, boy. Bigger forces than you dictated that.” Older forces than him. If he could undo it, he would have centuries ago.

“Yes and no.” Hermes folds his hands into his lap. He looks confident, like he’s gone through this before, though such is of course right impossible, impossible to the right highest order. Mr. Hades has a very good memory. And a very long one. And he would have recalled such before.

“What?” He thumps his own hand on the table, time to call a spade a spade. “Cut the bullshit.”

Hermes smirks slightly. “I’ve always liked that about you, uncle. Never stand much on ceremony, no matter how many times we’ve been through this.” The eerie feeling of a spider walking down his back bristles the back of Mr. Hades neck, and Mr. Hades, himself being a man who has refused to be intimidated upon many an occasion, even in in his incredibly long life, keeps his face perfectly still.

“You’re wondering, I know.” Hermes looks directly at him, eyes still tired, emotion still muted. “Why you think it feels familiar. Why when I say when we’ve been through this before, you feel like spiders go walking down your neck.”

Hades gives no indication of being frightened; however, he does reach for the phone at his desk, and he does most certainly reminds his fingers not to shake as he dials the one number he has memorized above all others.

“She’s fine, but by all means.” Hermes waives a hand. “Go ahead.”

He punches the numbers in hard, each one a punctuated silent statement. He doesn’t take his eyes off Hermes as he puts the reciever up to his year. It rings. Hermes blinks. It rings again. Click - someone’s picked up.

“Hello,” he says; prays its the daughter and not the mother. More likely than not his mother in law will hang up on him.

“Hey,” comes his wife’s voice: soft, concerned. “You…alright?”

Now that is off-tempo; normally ,Persephone would be full of fire if he dared to call for anything short of an emergency; ain’t his time, she’s too free up there and as such cannot  to be tied down with telephone wire when there’s fruit to grow and vines to climb, yadda yadda.

“I’m fine,” he says, though he is not. “You fine?“ 

"Told you, she is,” Hermes says, and Hades gives him a glare.

“Yeah, of course.” She snorts. “You sure you’re fine?” Hermes raises his eyebrows, as if to suggest see?

“Hermes is here.” He changes his topic. “Guess I just…wanted to make sure you made the trip safe. Himself is being a bit coy about such."  Now for many women, such would lead to questions like now why would he do that, but Persephone is way too smart to be distracted by the obvious question.

"Those kids–” She clears her throat. “I looked and I didn’t find them. Are they…?”

“Call you back,” he says, and hangs up.

Hermes raises his eyebrows. “You could have told her.”

“It’s a private conversation,” he snaps. “Now: what do you mean we’ve been through this before?”

Hermes spreads out his arms, and the feathers dangle underneath. “Been through this before. Lots of times. Fates keep playing with us.” He takes a deep sip of his whiskey, and Hades listens carefully on every word. “Every time, the story ends wrong, so…” He shrugs.

“Every time someone starts it again.” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries to sense a time-loop. Doesn’t. But then, when have the fates ever made anything easy for him? Hermes doesn’t look distressed about the situation, and that alone tells him the key piece of information Hermes has left unsaid.

“You’re the one starting it,” he murmurs. “You are." 

Hermes nods. "A favor, from the fates. Not easy to sweet talk them but…” He smiles. “Always had a silver tongue, Mr. Hades.”

“Golden tongue,” he admits; such was never a talent of his. “But the Fates must certainly ask high prices, charmed or not.”

“Very.” He holds his arms out again, and Hades notices now how threadbare they are, the spaces between the feathers. “Running out of chances, I’m afraid. Not a lot of feathers left.”

“So you’re giving up?” He is not sure if he is upset at the thought or not. Mr. Hades has won: won the girl, won his wife, won the town and all the souls therein. Won everything but his own happiness.

“No.” Hermes stares at him, clearly expecting him to offer up something that he does not. He clears his empty tumbler, takes Hermes as well, sets them neatly back on the tray.

“What do you want, Hermes?” He raps his knuckle on the table. “Say it plain for an old man.”

“I want the girl.” Hermes raises an eyebrow. “Fates won’t mess with the souls that aren’t on the table, so to speak. Got to have capital to gamble. Her soul’s…well, you know.”

“Hm.” He snorts. “Only a fool, nephew, tries to negotiate without something to bargain with.” Hermes nods his head, says nothing. Mr. Hades calls the play. “So what are you offering me?”

“Rewind time, and you get her back again sooner. Close your eyes, and when you open them…” He snaps his fingers. “There she is, on the veranda, drinking your whiskey, playing your games. Skip the six months. And if things go right, well..maybe spare her the problem of the girl. Simpler, easier. That’s why you have to - have to forget. Her, too.”

“Hm.” It’s a better offer than he’d like it to be. He has many souls; he has only one wife. And her absence pulls like a yolk at his neck, and he would do just about anything to get rid of it. “Fine.”

He digs through the contracts on his desk; finds the girl’s. Holds it out.

“Splendid.” Hermes rises; always has places to go, the man with feathers on his feet. “I’ll be going then.”

“One thing.” Hermes turns back to face him, already half out the room. “Persephone and I, do we…do we ever make it? Any time?” He does not quite say what he is asking: do I ever wait? Is it always bad? Has there ever been a time when we were in love without such complications? If Orpheus fails every time, then so must Hades, as well?

“Only one way to find out,” Hermes says; he smiles, but Hades knows well enough that he’s dodged the question. 

Still. He lets him go. Part of being a king, to know when to let things go, and when to demand tribute. Today, he lets him go. Today, he is charitable.

He closes his eyes, waits for things to change. Won’t be that long, he knows.

And maybe things will work out this time.

Rashly, before time can start over, before Mr. Hades can allow himself to think too much about it, he redials the same number he’d dialed while Hermes was around. Risking her wrath, dialing twice, but he’s willing to play the game: she won’t remember this, anyway. 

"Yes?” His wife says. Her voice is curious; he’s lucky,he knows, that she picked up, and not her mother.

“Forgot to say I love ya.” He says, and he smiles. “Always did, you know.”

If the world has to end– or end for now – better fire than ice, he thinks, and lets the flames take him.

[entering--hyperspace]

So I made my bh oc a fake companion with his own companion alert and everything because my game design brain is Like That. Below I’ve included bios with likes/dislikes, some abilities, and an overview of his quest. Even some idle dialogue! Lol. Click images for better quality

Homeworld: Found on Tatooine

Family: unknown

Notes: usually accompanied by a bird of some sort.

For those born force-sensitive it might seem like their only options are to become a Sith, or a Jedi. Rohan, however, walks an entirely different path. After leaving the Jedi order at a young age Rohan was raised by a rag-tag crew of Bounty hunters who taught him how to best use his connection to the force to track down any target, making him one of the deadliest bounty hunters in the galaxy. When Rohan became bored with regular bounties, he set his sights on other force-sensitives, giving him a reputation as the bounty hunter with the most successful captures of both Jedi and Sith. This eventually caught the attention of the Hutt families who sponsored him in the latest great hunt, where he became it’s next champion

Likes: High stakes, professionalism, honor, mercenary work, neutrality, his bird

Dislikes: Unnecessary violence, picking sides, being taken advantage of, grudges

Primary weapon: Lightsabers

Secondary weapon: Stuka (Pet)

Gifts

Weapon: LIke

Military Gear: indifferent

Courting: indifferent

Luxury: indifferent

Technology: Like

Republic Memorabilia: indifferent

Imperial Memorabilia: indifferent

Cultural Artifact: Like

Trophy: Favorite

Underworld Good: Favorite

Abilities:

Notes: Rohan's "class" Mechanics takes inspiration from the Jedi knight, while borrowing abilities from the bounty hunter and Jedi classes to fit the character. To elaborate, Rohan uses the "Focus" system just as the Jedi knight does, and any other abilities taken from the Sith warrior and/or bounty hunter are either refitted to match this, or are simply tweaked as to not override the core mechanic.

Rohan's unique abilities;

Deafening Screech

Cooldown: 80s

Range: 25m

Stuka's screech taunts all enemies within a selected area, focusing their attention on Rohan for 15 seconds.

Blinding claw:

Cooldown:50s

range : 30m

Stuka rapidly attacks a selected target, leaving them stunned for 20 seconds, or until they are disrupted.

Hunter’s intuition

Stance change: Dual blades.

Prerequisite: Full Focus

In this Stance Rohan gains a 30% Increase in speed, a 20% Increase in accuracy, and a temporary bonus to weapon damage for 10 seconds

Force charge:

Cooldown: 14.5

Range:10-30m

Rohan jumps to a distant target slamming his staff into them, dealing 4380-4656 weapon damage, interrupting the target's current action and immobilizing the target for 3 seconds. Cannot be used against targets in cover. Strikes with both weapons if dual wielding.

Other:

Blade Barrage

Cooldown:18s

Range::4m

Performs a series of lightsaber attacks that deal 6766-7068 weapon damage. Strikes with both weapons if dual wielding.

Electro net:

Cooldown:90s

Range:30m

Fires an electro net that ensnares the target, reducing its movement speed by 50% and dealing energy damage over 9 seconds. While affected, a target that moves takes 20% more damage from electro net, and this effect can stack up to 10 times on enemy players or 5 times on any other target. Additionally, the electro net hinders the target, preventing the use of high mobility actions and escapes such as charges, vanishes, and speed boosts. Lasts 9 seconds.

Force sweep: Strikes the target and up to 8 enemies within 5 meters with the Force, dealing 1268-1395 kinetic damage. Also stuns weak and standard enemies for 1.5 seconds.

Queststep overview:

Lana beniko is the quest giver for this companion alert. Lana informs the commander of an expert tracker,b whose skills would be valuable to the Alliance-so long as he could be convinced to join. She has been unable to contact him for some time but knows he was last seen on Rishi should the Commander be willing to investigate.

The Commander travels to Rishi. After talking with Arankau at the Rishii village, the Commander is informed of both the location of the contact and his identity as the latest grand-champion of the Bounty hunter Great Hunt. Before leaving Arankau informs the Commander that they hired Rohan to find out which pirate gang had been ruining their camps, and would prefer he finish the job before attending to whatever business might be awaiting him in the Alliance.

After investigating each village, with the help (or lack thereof) of the Commander’s observational skills, alongside Rohan’s psychometry, they discover the culprits are fellow hunters hired by one of the local pirate gangs to burn down the villages in order to make room for more of the pirate's operations. The confrontation gives the player's a glimpse into how Rohan views his profession, and the enemies he has made because of it. After fighting the hunters, as well as the pirates themselves, the player is given the choice to either let the pirates and bounty hunters go-- so long as they leave the Rishii alone-- or kill them all

Either way, after returning to Arankau, Rohan has one final conversation with the Commander. After seeing the Commander’s skills, and talking with them about the Alliance as well as the benefits of joining them, Rohan agrees to their offer.

Note: This quest is very detective-like. The player is meant to take a close look at each village, gather context clues within the environment to discover what had occurred, and who might have been responsible. For example, scorch marks around the houses implies a fire. The amount of tracks suggests a group, and the heat signatures in the air suggest what kind of blasters might have been used. If the player successfully observes the surroundings (with the game knowing these choices when Rohan asks what they have found) they can gain both an achievement, and make the final confrontation easier by taking a direct route to the pirate camp, an option that would be closed to them should the player fail the observational checks. This detour is not long, just a few more enemies down a different path. Choices matter yadda yadda yadda.

Being called out:

“Another day, another hunt”

“I got your back”

“What’re we up to now?”

“M’um m’aloo”

“I’m itching to get back to the fight.”

Ambient Dialogue:

“Rule 1, No bounty is worth dying for.”

“Sometimes I wonder if the Jedi still think I’m dead, then again that was a lifetime ago.”

“You carry a lot of history with you, maybe we can swap stories sometime.”

“Where are we? Oh, right.”

“I swore we were just...never mind.”

“Stuka, drop it!”

“You can’t eat everything you see, Stuka.”

“Stuka seems to like you, she doesn’t like just anyone.”

“Hunt well, Commander.”

“Trust in yourself, nothing else.”

“Taa baa, Eyeta”

“As much fun as this whole alliance thing is, I do miss a good bounty.”

“If the hutts ever try to collect the bounty on my head...just ignore them.”

“Don’t wear yourself out, alright? There will always be time for another day..”

"I suppose I'm still on mandalore's bad side. Been a while since I've received any job offer from them. Oh well, you win some you lose some."

“If most hunters followed the code our profession would be more respected.”

“The Jedi have the light, and the sith wield the dark...my path is my own.”

Combat: DPS

“Utinni!”

“Finally! I was just starting to get bored!”

“You can’t hide from me!”

“Stuka, ashuna!”

“Time to collect!”

“Your journey ends here, not ours!”

[braincoins]

for DA Shallura

I’ve been doing a series of posts about basic Dragon Age canon for my DA fic series, Dragon Age: Schism. HOWEVER, my Dragon Age AU for Shallura has slightly different background (it takes place before DA:O, and thus before any of DA:S) and I include headcanons and whatnot for DA:S in those info posts. 

So I thought I’d make One post with all the info that @tybalt-tisk​ or anyone else could need to make sense of what’s going on in that fic specifically. Some of this will be copy-pasted from what I’ve already done for DA:S because c’mon why write it twice? But everything here should give the necessary bgd for that fic. If you want/need to ask me other questions, feel free!

With credit, as always, to @yslanam​ who started this by first suggesting a DA AU for Shallura. And if you make it to the end, there’s pretty Mitz art! (Or you could skip to it, I know, but... be good, hm?)

Our story takes place in the country of Ferelden on the continent Thedas. Ferelden is basically Fantasy England (though not an island and not shaped that way), and is about the same size and climate (though it’s south of the equator, not north of it).

Shiro was born Takashi Shirogane in a small village where everyone knew everyone else and he liked it there. Loved it there, really. He signed on to be in his bann’s (the noble who ruled the land and its village) army, as did another young man from his town (whose name Shiro rarely speaks now). They served honorably and well and fell in love. 

And then they were called to battle. Shiro survived: plus a scar and some new white hair, but minus his right arm, which was too badly injured and had to be amputated. Shiro’s lover didn’t make it, though. Shiro was discharged with pay and a small bonus, but that money would run out eventually. He’s not sure what to do with himself, and he overhears people talking about what a shame it is, such a young man now destined to just wither away because, well, he’s basically worthless now. Can’t work a farm, can’t fight in wars. It hits him hard. He wants to prove himself worthy of... of something, anything, just to prove them wrong.

That’s what brings him to the Grey Wardens. 

Allura is a city elf. Elves are second-class citizens - at best - amongst humans, and the city elves live in ghettos called “alienages.” Her father was the Elder of the Highever (a city in Ferelden) Alienage: the man in charge, basically. That didn’t mean Allura behaved though; even as a child, she would rant about how elves were people just like humans and they deserved better treatment. This didn’t win her a lot of friends; most city elves learn quick that yelling about the truth just draws a whole lot of unwelcome - and often armed - attention.

But then it was discovered that Allura had magic, and she was taken off to the Tower of the Circle of Magi to be trained... and supervised. If there’s anything worse than being an elf in Ferelden, it’s being a mage. Mages, if they aren’t careful, can basically be possessed by demons and then they kill a bunch of people and it’s a bad scene. Therefore most people fear mages, and the Chantry - the main religious organization on the continent and damn near the only one in Ferelden - has created Templars to watch over the mages of the Circle. 

The Templars are also known as “mage-hunters” because that’s one of their main duties: running down mages who try to flee their gilded cage. They also kill any mage suspected of being demon-possessed. And they’re posted all throughout the Tower, watching... always watching...

Allura liked learning magic but hated that this is how it’s done. She’s just been moved from one cage to another, and she wasn’t silent about that either. Things came to a head after she became an official mage; she saw a Templar about to force himself on a fellow mage, who was terrified of the man. She got angry and killed the man, straight out. She should have been killed, made Tranquil (basically magical lobotomy) or sent to Aeonar, the mage prison, but Duncan, the Warden-Commander, was there visiting and recruited her away, instead. 

That’s what brings her to the Grey Wardens.

And that’s where she meets Shiro.

So, really now, what is a Grey Warden? Well, that depends on who you ask. To most people outside the order, the Grey Wardens are a glorious order of noble heroes! And why is that? Well, they’re immune to the darkspawn taint (which usually kills people) and so they can safely slay darkspawn! They’re also the only ones who can stop Blights!! …though this last bit of information is often forgotten, given that Blights happen once every few centuries.

If you ask me, the Grey Wardens are the biggest dick move in Thedas, which is actually part of why I love them. Here’s all the downsides to joining this “glorious order”:

First of all, the Right of Conscription. Ferelden has it; not sure if other nations in Thedas do? Anyway, it means that Grey Wardens can recruit anyone at any time. In practice, they have to be careful how they wield this tool (especially in Ferelden), but the RoC has been used to save people from hangings or other deadly fates… on the condition that they become a Warden Recruit. So… didn’t want to be Warden Recruit? TOO BAD, YOU ARE NOW. And no, you don’t get a say in the RoC. (Allura was RoC’d, to keep the commander of the Templars from killing her.)

Second of all, there’s the Joining. It turns out that, in order to become a Grey Warden, you have to drink darkspawn blood. And a bunch of other stuff in there, but really now, DRINKING DARKSPAWN BLOOD. You might recognize this as a stupidly dangerous thing to do, given that darkspawn blood KILLS THINGS. But your options are drink it or die, because the Grey Wardens present at the Joining will kill you if you try to back out after learning about this. If you drink from the Joining chalice, you also might die, but your name will be remembered as a Grey Warden at least? Even though you’re dead. And hey, if you live, you… become “immune” to the darkspawn taint, which is to say you’re already fucking tainted so it’s not like it can get worse. Want to know why the Grey Wardens don’t tell people they’re gonna make them drink darkspawn blood? Well, if they did that, people wouldn’t want to join, and we need Grey Wardens.

Supposing you survive the Joining, there’s the shortened lifespan (10-30 years depending on your sources) and the nightmares (that maybe you can learn to tune out). Again, they don’t tell you this until afterwards. Why? Because then people might not want to become Grey Wardens… yadda yadda. (Shiro might not speak Adam’s name anymore but he sure does yell it some nights, jolting out of a night terror and back to reality.)

Oh, and forget about having kids! It’s very difficult if not impossible to have children as a Grey Warden! (Not like they let mages have kids in the Circle. And Shiro’d been in love with a man, so he was okay with not having biological children anyway.)

At some point, even if you were able to tune the nightmares out, they’ll come back and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. That’s the first sign of The Calling. Because it turns out that the Joining is really just turning you into a ghoul, except very, very slowly. You’re getting close to Ghoul-dom now. Most Grey Wardens choose to die in battle against the darkspawn rather than waiting to be turned. It’s tradition.

And if there’s a Blight going on? Oh, well, it turns out that the only way to kill an Archdemon is to sacrifice a Grey Warden. Why didn’t they tell you? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK NOW?!

The motto of the Grey Wardens is “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.”

So what I’m saying is that Grey Wardens are SUPER TRAGIC BADASSES. They also wind up pretty cut off from their former lives, so the Wardens become their family. So, basically, SUPER TRAGIC BADASS FOUND FAMILY. 

Shiro and Allura get close because it turns out they work well together as a fighting pair: he as a warrior, she as a mage. Even with only one arm, Shiro can at least protect Allura as she takes shit out. They’re quickly a unit, just the two of them, always sent out together. It’s no wonder it starts to blossom into love.

But Allura sees that Shiro wants to do more than just protect and shield bash, so she starts trying to figure out how to make him a prosthetic: one worthy of a Grey Warden. One... worthy of him. 

There are different schools of magic: Creation is the healing branch, and it seems natural to try to work with that some, but in the end, Allura has to also dip into a forbidden school: Blood Magic. Blood Magic has the reputation of being evil because you’re using people’s blood - people’s life forces - to power your spells. After growing up in the Tower, she’s understandably nervous about using it.

But she talks about it with Shiro, and although he might otherwise be scared of Blood Magic, she tells him she doesn’t need a lot of it, it won’t kill him, and... well, it’s her. He trusts her. And she works hard to be worthy of that trust, she goes over this spell she’s created several times. It should work to attach the arm - made of silverite, a very powerful and durable metal - to him so he can use it.

She just forgot about the darkspawn taint coursing through him. His blood is not normal. And there are some... side effects from messing with it.

I do recommend reading this post (it’s kinda 1/2 meta, 1/2 fic) but if you don’t want to, the short version is that Shiro has trouble controlling his arm at first and so he pushes Allura away because he’s afraid of hurting her. She takes that as a well-deserved rebuke because she did this to him. 

Eventually they scream it all out at each other: he loves her, he was afraid for her, she feels guilty and is so afraid he’ll leave her, etc. They settle down and start working together on figuring out how Shiro can better control this thing. At the beginning of this fic, he’s gotten the hang of it now.

I’ll put up pictures of their uniforms when I can, and other than that, you should be good to go! I know this was long, sorry. Here, have some pretty @mitzoco​ art:

[1zashreena1]

Angst Fluff Whiplash -14

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary:  What does an apex predator do after confessing undying love? Princess is about to find out.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Non-descriptive sexytimes, the L word, criminal activities glossed over, relationship building, plus size woman+fit man, Anxiety, This one is all feels and

I Am So NOT Sorry. 

THE TIME HAS COME

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ ​ @symbiont13​ ​ @nicke0115​ ​​ @bunnykjm​ ​ @rosee-sensuelle​ ​ @girlpornparadise​ ​ @mandoplease​ ​ @heresathreebee​ ​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ ​ @jetiikad​ ​ @joalsglasses​ ​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ ​ @demoncatstone​ ​ @squidlywiddly87​ ​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​ ​ @poeedamerons​ ​

"I don't know, Lisa. He won't tell me. Not until this weekend apparently?  We're supposed to go shopping."

"Honestly, I'm scared. I mean, there's the whole how did he get a passport FOR me dilemma. Then the part where he knows I don't like surprises. And he said he was calling my sister!"

"Oh my God, she could tell him anything! Please don't tell him about the Backstreet Boys phase. I'm going to have a panic attack."

"Of course he would tease me about it for eternity!"

"What? Watch what words? What are you talking about?"

"Do not hang up this phone! Do you even love me?!? Lisa? …. Hello?"

You toss your phone down on the bed and heave a huge sigh. Your very own BFF, abandoning you like that. Luckily its your own phone and not the insane cell Diego got you because it bounces off the other side of the bed and smacks into the wall before admitting total defeat to gravity. 

You stand there staring at your open suitcase. Your typical items are in there already. You don't need any toiletries. Or makeup, now. Or bras. Or underwear. Fucking hell, its like I already moved into the penthouse with him. 

… Could I do that? He already basically asked for it. He keeps telling me to quit my job and let him spoil me for real. You wring your hands together while rubbing your lips against each other and being bombarded with intrusive thoughts. Yeah. Until he's done with me and then I have to start all over. At 35. 

But its been almost a year now that you've been seeing Diego. What does that even mean, "seeing" him? You think about how the last few months have been so… easy. He practically lives in New York now, their territory split. He opted to control the East Coast and let his sister deal with the logistical nightmare of receiving the imports. 

He has been a lot looser since then. Faster to laugh, quicker to goof around, less likely to do anything as hard as he used to do. The distance from Alicia has allowed him to really flourish in every aspect. And he's beautiful with it. The laugh lines and the soft brown eyes wreck you every time.

He says he wants to keep you. Take care of you. You finally believe that he loves you. He has made so many improvements in communication. Hell, he read books on how to be with someone on the spectrum. Do you understand it? Hell no. Are you going to take it and run? Fuck yeah dude. I love him and I want to keep him.

And now he wants to take you on a trip. A surprise destination. Out of the country with a mostly legal passport. You don't doubt that you'll be safe with him. Your parents were a little concerned when you told them since they've never even met him. And they saw him on the national news that time he got arrested by the Feds, so that really inspires confidence. 

Your middle sister Lynne and niece Halley accidentally met him that one afternoon about a month back. And they have not shut up about it since. Diego this, Diego that, blah blah blah, paid the restaurant bill in cash, yadda yadda, took us all shopping to a Coach store and then got Halley some crazy new sold out Nikes. Diego had been delighted to be surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls enjoying his spoiling attentions. Just like always, Diego went to the max and charmed them silly.

It was like having an out of body experience to see Diego with them. You couldn't really fault them, he swept you off your feet with no problems.  He was grinning and joking the whole time, making raunchy comments with your sister and encouraging your niece to be assertive (unnecessary according to her soccer coach and the 'Most Aggressive' trophy). He fit right in with them. Afterwards he had asked if that was what it was like to have normal siblings and your heart broke thinking about what his childhood had been like with his sister. 

Which brought you back to the here and now. He had mentioned off hand that he was going to call your sister. Maybe you should text her. She might know something.

Maybe you should just pack your bag and trust him. 

Your Diego Cell chirps and you dive for it on the nightstand. Is he okay? Please don't be hurt.

Its a pic of him. In the shower. With his own hand wrapped around himself. You choke on air and have to sit down. 

I miss you Princess

Holy. Shit. Its been almost a year that you have had unrestricted access to that incredible body and your reaction is still the same. Before you can respond another text arrives:

SOON

The attached pic is just from squinty eyes up.

You burst out laughing at him. You love that he is secretly a nerd about internet stuff. His appearance would never give that away. Time to be ridiculous right back.

Don't make me lick your eyeball 

You are a crazy person laughing to yourself alone in your bedroom.

You are so weird

Yet there you are, lusting after this weirdo

You shoot back.

… Am I the weirdo??

No. Still you.

I would threaten to bite it.. but you would like that

Well now you have to

Oh my God. You're fairly certain you could do anything to this man and he would think it was sexy. Its a novel experience.

Can we eat dinner at home tomorrow? I don't feel like wearing a real bra

You know the answer to that. 

YES. NO MORE BRAS EVER AGAIN. BE FREE

… no panties?🙏🥺

You can see the hopeful puppy dog eyes clearly.

A for effort babe. One of these days you might get your wish lol

...Are you panty free right now?

Wow. He is really trying here.

I'm packing. 

Your pic is a heap of tangled thongs dumped on top of Tiny Murder Panther.

💜🔥😛

He would find that hot. Fucking nympho.

Lemme finish this so I can go straight to the airport tomorrow

Fine. But I am pouting 

You do not doubt that.

Don't care. Still love your stupid face

You cannot believe you just sent that. 

Princess. 

Mi amor.

Diego's good little girl.

You shudder with the praise. You can hear it in his voice, as if he were right here with you.

I love you

Dream of me?

Oh baby, if you only knew. You sigh wistfully.

Always, baby

---------------‐---------

The flight is uneventful, thankfully. Your maxidress with a built-in shelf bra is stupidly comfortable and you actually take a nap. 

The plane has barely come to a stop and you already have on your silly lambswool lined Ugg flip flops. You had argued with Diego about these (Why would flip flops need a warm fuzzy lining??) but he had won by sticking one in your face and ordering you to feel. It didn't take a full second for you to snatch them both from him and cuddle them to your chest. His pleased smile full of dimples was worth all the subsequent teasing.

You slip on one of his previously stolen shirts in a metallic lilac color and roll up the sleeves so you have use of your hands. Bending at the waist, you flip your hair over and fluff it back up from the nap. What was that he had said? Oh yes: Wild and thick, just how I like it. The memory makes you bite your bottom lip and smile.

Bastian is waiting for you on the tarmac. He takes your bag and kisses you on the cheek in greeting. "Hey, sweetie. Nice shirt, is that new?"  His knowing grin is infectious. 

You nuzzle into the collar with a laugh. "Thanks! My boyfriend gave it to me." 

Bastian chuckles as he opens the passenger door for you. "Oh, honey. That is not all he is going to give you." He closes the door while you roll your eyes smirkingly. 

The ride to the penthouse is uneventful. Well, as uneventful as Friday evening rush hour traffic can be in New York. 

Bastian waits until the song is over before lowering the stereo volume. "We're supposed to pick up dinner. Any requests?" He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while you sit at the red light.

You ponder the options. "What kind of a day has he had? Meetings? Tours? Disciplinary action?" You ask Bastian thoughtfully. Sometimes when Diego has a bad day he likes comfort food. Mostly a giant heap of rice and beans next to homemade tortillas, he isn't so picky about the variety of meat.

Bastian glances at you out of the corner of his eye before warily answering, "There was a… termination… at a construction site this afternoon that took longer than expected. That's why he didn't come to get you, he wanted to shower first."

You keep your eyes focused forward to look out of the windshield. "Okay. How about Jalisco's then?" Comfort food it is. 

Bastian nods and adjusts course to obtain those tortillas.

‐--------------------

The instant the elevator doors ding open Diego pops up from the sectional and comes straight at you. Your giant sidestep to let Bastian pass is barely completed before Diego is slipping those big hands under his own pilfered shirt to crush your body to him. Your arms go around his neck like a reflex, like this is their natural resting place. He leans his forehead down onto yours and kisses you so very gently.

"Mmmm. Hi." You murmur softly into his beard. Those bottomless brown eyes look over your entire face before coming back to your own. His smile is huge, those dimples make your pulse trip. He blinks slowly down at you, just like the big cat you nicknamed him after. 

"Princess. How was the trip?" He always asks you this. You still aren't sure if its just culturally specific manners or if he is requesting a review of the flight crew's performance. Either way, your answer is always the same.

You pull him back down so you can cuddle into his neck. "Its better now that I'm here." He rubs his cheek against your own and purrs directly into your ear in response. Your body's reaction is immediate and decisive. You shiver in his arms and your nipples peak to full attention.

Except this time is different. With only a bralette and the dress's shelf bra Diego can clearly feel what just happened in real time. His eyes are comically round as he peers down at your cleavage in pleasant wonder.

"Oh. I like this outfit." His hands rise up your back to crush you further into him. You chuckle and rub your chest on his firm pectoral muscles. He watches hungrily as your compressed decolletage rises higher yet from the added pressure. "New rule to match the bedroom pants bar, no bras in the penthouse. Fucking magnificent, bonita." He licks his lips after making this proclamation.

You throw your head back and laugh joyfully.

‐----------------------

As it always does the weekend passes too quickly. Its already 1:00pm on Saturday when you two finally come down from the bedroom.

Diego is delighted to hear that your time-off request was approved for the trip. You had told him not to worry about it, your boss always kept her word about this stuff. 

That’s when he pulls a ridiculous pith hat out from under the couch. It looks like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon about a big game hunt on the African savannah.  You lose your entire shit and laugh until you do that silent clapping seal move.

Diego keeps repeating, "Wait, stop laughing. Stooooop." But he isn't faring much better. You finally wipe the tears and calm down enough to take it from his limp fingers while he chortles a few last times.

"Baby. What. What the fuck. What fucking is this??" You plunk the hat on your own head and Diego collapses facedown into your lap to gigglesnort uproariously. "Stop. Stop laughing. Stoppit!" You smack the back of his head lightly until he comes up for air.

He closes his eyes and composes himself. You take the opportunity to plop the hat on his head.

"Oh my god, that is so sexy!" You declare in high dramatics. 

He grabs your hands and leans in very close to explain. "You need this hat for our trip." Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "You will wear it for our safari quest…" he pauses for dramatic effect and your lips twitch in suppressed amusement. He leans closer yet and captures your stare. His face is hilarious, you can tell he is biting his cheek to keep from laughing. His eyebrows are drawn down in concentration but his eyes are widened in mock excitement. He sucks in a deep breath to exclaim, "To locate palm trees in the wild!"

He laughs as he puts the hat back on you.

You blink a few times in shock. Palm trees? You're going somewhere with palm trees? A tropical locale. Palm trees. Beaches. SWIMSUITS. Your sudden panic must show on your face because Diego's laughter dies off.

You blink furiously, but its too little too late. The tears burn as they well up in your eyes and spill down over your cheeks.

He reaches out to cup your face. "Princess?" His tone is an even mix of concern and fear. "Bicki? What?"

You shake your head 'no' and throw yourself into him. Diego catches you and hauls you into his lap. You curl up against his chest and sob quietly. He pets over your hair, open handed strokes so his fingers don't tangle in the curls, and soothes your back while you shake. Rubbing his nose against your temple, he kisses your cheek and whispers, "Do you want to write?" His gentle care only makes you worse. "...so that is no." He looks crestfallen. He buries his face in your hair and breathes heavily.

Your tears are slowing and your chest is finally beginning to loosen. "Dieg-" you hiccup, wrapping both hands around his forearm. You wheeze a few times before trying again. "I. I. Where? Where are we g-going?" 

He sighs deeply before answering. "Nowhere. I won't take you somewhere you don't want to go. I should have known better. I-" He snaps his jaw shut so fast that his teeth click together. 

Tilting your head back, you try to catch his eyes. Diego won't look at you. "H-hey, please." You cup his jaw and pull him down to you. He comes, but the motions are stilted. "Look. Please, baby. Let me s-see you."

When he finally meets your eyes it breaks your heart. That chocolate gaze is disappointed, hurt, frustrated even. You wiggle around until you're straddling his lap. He just holds his hands out of the way, not hindering you but certainly not helping either. Standing up on your knees to lean your forehead against his, you reach for his hands and bring them to your chest where you lace your fingers together. 

"Baby. I want that." Your nose rubs against his as you speak. "I want to go everywhere with you. I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. To travel? To go somewhere tropical? To have someone who loves me enough to do this for me?" You're crying again. And so is Diego? A little?? 

He brings your joined hands up to tap your chin. His face is adorably conflicted when he speaks, "You… want to go?" You nod slowly. His eyebrows lower as he tries to make sense of this. "Then why do you cry? Are they, the uh, is that 'happy tears' ?"

Your hands shake in his. "Yeah. Happy tears. I just. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry." He huffs out a sigh. You continue, "Its almost like the super intense emotions short circuit my responses and I guess my default is panic crying? I don't know."

Diego huffs at you again. "Please stop that. I'm going to have a heart attack." There is a hint of real annoyance in his voice but his lips curl up at the corners. 

You free your right hand to reach up and brush his wet lashes. Why did something this little bring him to tears? "Baby, is everything okay?"

He leans into your hand, then turns to kiss your fingers. You giggle, you can't help it, his beard both tickles and delights you. He smirks at you, "It is now, Princess. You should get dressed so we can go." 

But you're not done here yet. "Where are we going on the trip? A place name, not foliage that may or may not be present."

His Cheshire cat grin is intriguing and mildly worrisome. He gives you one word, "Xcalak." And then watches while you access your mental map and pinpoint the exact location. 

It takes you a moment but you find it with a gasp. "Costa Maya? Like Caribbean-sea side of Mexico??"  He nods and you immediately start in with 20 Questions. "Are there cenotes? Is the water really those unreal colors? Is the food amazing there? Can we see ruins?"

Diego cups your face to stop you. "Whatever you like, little girl." With a kiss to your nose and a smack to your ass he ushers you upstairs to get dressed. 

-----------------------

The shopping is less traumatic than normal for you thanks to Diego making enthusiastic innuendo nonstop and feeding you between stores. You find sandals, and flip flops, and little slip-on sneakers. All kinds of flowy maxidresses and flouncy skirts paired with new tank tops in buttery soft fabrics. Cover-ups and kimonos and huge airy loose knit sweaters get rung up with linen pants and shorts you actually feel comfortable wearing.

But swimsuits? A disaster. Everything that fits your hips is way too big for your ribcage. Tankinis big enough to go around your middle are about a foot too wide around your chest. You try some maternity stuff… amazingly there isn't any chest support. That confuses both of you for almost 20 minutes while you discuss it over croissants and various iced beverages (coffee for him and some kind of hot chocolate slushie for you).

Then you look across the street and inspiration hits. One of the stores you order bras from is right there and has bra-sized swimwear in the display window. Diego turns to see what stole your undivided attention from him and slaps his hand down on the table in celebration. 

You aren't sure which one of you is more excited to get into the store. But while you run around exclaiming at all the things that come in your size Diego stands in the doorway and gawks. When you circle back to check on him he just points to one display wall.

There is lacy, frilly, corseted lingerie. In. Your. Size.

He demands one of everything that fits you and isn't red, brown, or yellow. You don't even argue.

The store does alterations and makes very good recommendations. The sales clerk is impressed with Diego's input, she comments that he really does seem to know your body well. You flush with it, glad that he isn't close enough to hear that. You leave with three bags and seven personalized swim outfits under construction. One is ready to wear and you keep reaching into the bag to touch it in wonder. 

Diego notices but just gives you a raised eyebrow. 

"This is the first time I've ever felt good about how I look in swimwear." You confess quietly. 

Diego wraps a massive arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side while you continue down the sidewalk. 

--------------------

Sunday is a mess as you try to make pancakes and Diego tries to remain physically attached to you like an excessively attractive barnacle. The pancakes are either burnt or still batter in the middle. Leftover carnitas and tortillas to the rescue. Diego teases you about the kitchen failure all day because this is the first time he has witnessed such a thing.

You doze on the couch under the pretense of "reading". Diego rotates through his laptop, cell, and the soccer match on ESPN+. 

Until his phone rings. 

You both tense up. Only one person calls him instead of texting. He takes the phone into the office to answer his sister. You wait on the couch to see which Diego you get back: silly tickle fight Diego,  sad puppy dog eyes Diego that requires cuddles, or  angry Diego that needs to fuck you through the nearest horizontal surface. 

The elevator dings and Julio comes in with a tray of coffees. "Ay, Gordita. Buenas tardes. I got you the hibiscus thing you like." He greets you with a big smile, then looks around when he doesn't see Diego on the sectional with you.

Hopping up to help him carry stuff, you point to the office in indication of Diego's location. Julio makes a face, "Hermana perra?" and you simply nod. Julio takes Diego's iced coffee and bites the bullet for you. The door closes softly behind him.

You munch plantain chips and slurp hibiscus lemonade until they come out.  Diego just looks tired when he comes back to you on the couch, coffee in hand. You open your arms in invitation and he plops next to you with a sigh. Cuddly Diego it is.

He doesn't tell you anything and you don't ask. Everyone watches the match mindlessly. Diego snores softly in your lap while you pet his hair.

He rides to the airport with you but you forbid him from coming onto the plane with you. He is already making this harder than it has to be with his big brown eyes and clingy hands.

"Baby." You breathe into his hair while he snuggles into your neck in the backseat of the SUV. "Its only a week. We do this every week." You pet down his bicep and immediately regret it.

"I know." Diego huffs into your skin. "Why don't you just quit? Let me take care of everything." You go through this almost every week now, too. He nuzzles you, the sensation makes you reconsider his proposal. You pull his head up by a fistful of soft hair and look him in the eye. He blinks guilelessly at you.

"Number one: No. Number two: Stoppit." He laughs at your fond exasperation. "Okay. I'm gonna go. You stay on the ground."

"Fine." He whines. "But I am going to send you a dick pic the moment that plane takes off." He crosses his arms as if daring you to tell him no.

You cup his stupidly attractive face in your hands for a kiss. Okay, several kisses and 27 minutes later, you respond, "Send me one every day. Its my favorite dick." His startled laugh makes you feel very pleased with yourself.

He pulls you into his arms again to kiss you one last time. His beard scratches and you sigh into him. Finally that tongue retreats and he rests his forehead on yours. His voice is low and rough, his hands squeeze tight on your hip and thigh, "I love you, Princess."

Will that ever stop hurting? You close your eyes against the burn of tears but smile with happiness. "I love you, Diego." You pop the door handle before you open your eyes to see him watching you, jaw tense. You stick your tongue out and he breaks into a smirk. With a laugh, you slide out of SUV and walk to the plane, determined not to look back.

When you get up the stairs the pilot greets you, but his gaze shifts behind you. Turning around, you see Diego standing outside the SUV, arms crossed and trying to look so not soft. You smile and mouth Bye baby, he gives you a short little wave. You duck into the plane before you can start crying.

The wheels are not, in fact, off the ground when the phone chirps.

‐-----------------------

The trip is a few weeks out and there is some kind of emergency at the San Diego docks the next weekend. So. You don't get your Murder Panther fix. 

And your coworkers notice. They spend all day Monday strolling past your cubicle, straining their necks to see if you're wearing new shoes or some fresh bling. Finally someone has the nerve to ask how your weekend was. 

You find yourself blinking back tears. I miss him so much. This is ridiculous, he just texted you at like six this morning. But its not just the conversation you miss, now is it? You miss that big body crowding you into the corner of the couch. His soft curls under your hands. That beard on literally any inch of your skin. Draping yourself over shoulders wider than your hips and knowing that not only can he take your weight, he likes it.

He says he wants to keep you and you desperately want to keep him. Why do you fear this? Is it just his profession? The risk? Oh god, how do you even go about introducing him to your parents??? Diego can be all kinds of charming but he can be a real asshole, too.

And they know what he is: A criminal.  For your boomer parents he is the living embodiment of Public Enemy Number One. 

Grand Theft. 

Money Laundering.

Arson.

Murder.

International Cocaine Trafficking. 

HE IS A LITERAL DRUG LORD.

You lay your head down on your desk and try to keep it together. 

Your Diego Cell chirps.

Your laughter bubbles up until it comes out of you without your consent. It turns hysterical and you realize you need to leave the office suite. Now. 

In the bathroom you stare down at the phone as it lights up again with another message.

Miss my Princess💔👑

How? How is someone who can do all those illegal things so nauseatingly sweet to me?

And then it hits you. Illegal. You didn't use the word immoral. Illegal. You think back to how everyone you see working directly for him is well into adulthood. No children. There are a few women but they are not being sold by him, they are there by their own free will. And he has never laid a hand on any of them, they're just as comfortable around him as the men are. No sex trafficking.  You saw someone give their resignation last month. The dude walked away with a suitcase of cash for a decade of trustworthy service. Its a better retirement plan than what I have. 

Have you seen him assault people? Yes. You've seen him stab people. Carve off someone's ear because they weren't listening as assigned and it cost the Jimenez Cartel a shipment. You've seen him push an informant down an empty elevator shaft. Choke a man into unconsciousness with his bare hands when you were disrespected. 

And you still love him. Not a single one of those incidents weighs on your conscience. Your morality is a dingy grey 12 year old men's undershirt that you should just throw away but you're definitely going to cut into rags to keep for cleaning when it comes to Diego. 

The cell lights up again.

Mi amor 💞😍🍑🏝✈⏲👙

You don't know what's worse: His excessive and ridiculous usage of emojis or the fact that you understood. 

Look what came

The attached pic is a few pieces of your new swimwear. They look gorgeous, you can't even tell where the alterations were done.

You have to try on all of them. And show me

Of course he wants his own personal show. You feel desire burning low in your belly. Its been a year and not once has he ever shied away from your stomach rolls or hinted at weight loss. He never questions the food you order. And while the two of you have chuckled about shapewear he has never mocked you for using it. Or seemed disappointed when you opted not to wear it. He tosses you around like its nothing and prefers for you to sleep on top of him. Its not that he loves you despite your weight, he loves it as part of you.

-------------------------

Its now Thursday and the desk drawer where you keep your purse at work is vibrating. He knows I'm at work. If he calls right back I'll answer him. You try to keep your Diego Cell out of sight at work or you'll never get anything done. Plus your coworkers are always dying to catch a peek of your infamous sugar daddy/boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Keep practicing that. It feels good. 

You finish the insurance call and hang up your headset when the vibrating starts again. Your next door cubicle neighbor pops around the divider to advise you to answer that before he comes down here and abducts you.

What deity should I pray to for that??

You snatch Diego Cell and march out to the hall. Poking the green button, you answer the call.

"Baby. You okay?"

"Princess! I… yeah. I'm not hurt."

He sounds odd. There is definitely something going on here.

"What's up? You need me?"

The silence stretches. 

"Yes. Please?"

Diego sounds very uncomfortable. It causes you physical pain.

"Well, you have me. What is it?"

You can hear him swallow and in your mind you picture him looking away, hiding some soft emotion shining in his eyes.

"Baby?"

"Here. I am here. I just. I just wanted to hear you."

Something is very wrong with my Murder Panther, you think.

"Babe," your voice is soft, you're trying to ease him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He huffs and you can hear him scrape a hand down over his face. "I know you are at work. And I should not have called. But."

His voice trembles, even over the phone you can hear it. He's afraid.

"Diego. If you need me, then you have me. Tell me, baby." You try to be reassuring but you also really need to know what is wrong.

"I would like to come down there." His declaration is overly formal. You wonder who he is trying to impress. Its certainly not me.

"You… want to come down here instead of me going up there this weekend?"  You're trying to make sense out of any part of this conversation. 

"I…. grrrrrrrrr."  He growls in frustration. Between English being his second language and your sensory processing issues, this is not an uncommon occurrence. He sucks in a deep breath and charges forward in an emotional rush. "I know you're working, but I want to come down there because I miss seeing your face." Before you have a chance to answer he adds, "Pick me up? At the airport, after work? Please, Bicki." His voice cracks at the end and his inhalation is ragged. Your heart implodes. 

"Diego. Baby. Of course. Of course I will. I can be there by six." You have a mental flash of how dirty your bathroom is, all the clothes you have laying around, and the vacuum you haven't touched in over a month. Diego needing me is more important.

"Good. Good. Yes, I. I will text you. When I land." His voice is raspier than ever, low and gravelly. 

"Sure. I'll be there." I'll always be there.

"Okay. You… you should go." You can hear his determination. You can visualize him squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, taking on the Jimenez Cartel persona. 

"Hey." He grunts in acknowledgement. "I love you." You blurt it out before you have a chance to talk yourself round in circles. You can hear voices in the background. 

"And you. You as well." The call ends, but you know.

---------------

You're sitting in your car at the little regional airport second guessing the coffee you got when the phone chirps. 

Here

Springing out of the car, you wave to the security guard as you trot past. "Hey Jim, I just have to grab someone real quick. That's okay, right?" You wave vaguely back toward your car parked in the fire lane. There are only four security guards who work here and they all know you at this point. 

Jim laughs but waves you on. "Go get 'im, sweetie." Jim must be pushing 90 by now, he doesn't care about traffic laws.

You enter one of the two sets of automatic doors on this entire building and cross through the tiny lobby. There. You can see his dark hair and ridiculous shoulders over a completely unnecessary row of potted plants. He must hear your echoing footsteps because his head whips around in alarm, but his face relaxes into a wide smile. He lengthens his strides to come around the stupid plants, hands automatically reaching out for you.

"Diego." You laugh breathily and fling arms around his neck. He smells so good. 

He crushes you to his chest and buries his face in your neck. "Printhesss." He murmurs into you, slurred because he refuses to remove his mouth from your skin. 

Turning your head to kiss his cheek, you moan shamelessly for him. He surges back upward to capture your lips and kiss you with mild desperation. That devious tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth before curling up behind your top front teeth. 

Your entire world narrows down to Diego. Chocolate. Tastes like the smoothest Belgian chocolate in existence. He smells perfect, clean but definitively male to you. His silky button-down is smooth under your hands, stretched taut over muscle. Those massive hands gather you closer, molding you to that big, solid body. His beard scratches your face in soft tickles when he alters the angle of the kiss just so.

"Goddamn." A woman's voice exclaiming somewhere behind you catapults you back into the here and now. Which is a dinky little regional airport in rural central Pennsylvania. You know, a very public location in a very prudish area of the country. Fuck.

You pull back and Diego's hands shoot up to the back of your head. Holding you in place, he leans his forehead against yours with a contented sigh. He rumbles softly to you, "Take me home."

You feel so silly seeing Diego in the passenger seat of your Corolla, he just seems so out of place. "You can adjust the seat however, nobody really sits there. I just put it all the way back to make sure you can get in without cracking your head." You sound nervous even to your own ears.

Diego turns to you with a response but his attention is captured by the cup holders in the center console, specifically the Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup. He points to it, then looks up at you with a slow grin. "Princess. Is this for me?"

You flush but can't stop the embarrassed little smile so you cover it with sass, "Well, it sure as hell ain't for me." You start the car and give Jim a little wave. He winks and gives you two thumbs up. Yeah, I'm aware that you saw that kiss too, old man. Everyone saw that shit.

When Diego reaches for the coffee his fingers brush your hip. The contact burns and you suddenly remember that you have not touched this beautiful man for well over two weeks. Apparently he remembers, too, because he wraps that huge hand around your thigh with rather a lot of force. Right hand slapping down to cover his, your heart rate jumps through the roof. Did I take my blood pressure pill this morning?

"Don't." You choke out.

He rumbles softly next to you, purring with conceited pleasure. "Did my Princess miss Diego?" He asks you with an incredibly pornographic voice. 

"Oh, fuck you." Your answering groan is also obscene. So glad the windows are up.

His hoarse chuckle makes your thighs tremble. "You're Diego's good little girl, you will." He's right and you both know it. You would ride him right here in your own damn car if he demanded it. You have a problem.

He lets you redirect his hand to the coffee with only a little resistance. "Focus." You hiss.

"Me or you?" Diego quips.

"Yes." You declare.

Diego's guffaw is contagious and you don't even try to hold back.

Your apartment always seems like an adequate size until Diego is inside. No, bad Bicki. Do not say it like that. His presence just sort of… lounges about in a vaguely threatening but highly attractive manner. Much like the actual man on your couch. You tried to pick up dinner on the way but he just wanted to 'go home'. You are disgustingly happy that your place feels like home to him.

Diego had flopped on your couch immediately and hasn't moved since. Something is very definitely very wrong. There were bursts of your Murder Panther in the car, but he has been just subdued overall. He had turned your stereo up and smiled faintly, watching you sing along. He had also complained that the stereo in your car sucked (Agreed) and this was unacceptable. You're sure he'll do something ridiculously extravagant to remedy this.

You try to give him the remote, he takes it but doesn't do anything with it. You offer him food, both junk and something home-cooked, all you get is a shrug. You putter around for a while, picking things up and sighing before putting them down somewhere else. His dark eyes watch you, unfathomable. 

Finally you disappear to the bedroom only to return in your pajamas. This he likes, perking up and blinking rapidly. "Okay, I know you brought something softer than those jeans, so get comfy so I can order shitty pizza and cuddle you."

His jaw drops in momentary shock. Then he scoffs, "I do not cu--"

You cut him off, "Yes, you do and yes, you're going to. Up. Now." This has to be hilarious. This short little woman in overly long pants barking orders at the massive man who heads an international drug cartel. Well, its either hilarious or fatal. I'm about to find out.

Diego looks around, as if someone else might secretly be here to witness him be a little bit submissive and moderately soft. He raises his chin in a tiny show of defiance. "Fine. But I am showering first." He glares with this proclamation, daring you to contradict him.

You throw your hands up in the air. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?? His eyes follow your hands, like a cat when you try to point out a bit of food but all it does is rub your finger. You sigh, resigned to your fate. "Of course that's fine, Diego. You know where everything is, have at it."

You watch his butt as he walks away to the bathroom. 

The pizza actually isn't shitty and Diego eats half of it by himself. When you offer him the cinnamon dessert sticks he shoots you a calculating look. You split the contents, pulling two sticks over to yourself and piling up the rest in front of him. His delighted grin is decidedly not calculated and you lose track of time watching him enjoy dessert.

He's beautiful like this. He wears a soft, silky t-shirt that is tight enough to help you get through the nights you spend alone. His hair is a riot of fluffy curls, free of product and clearly trying to break free of gravity, too. He hasn't shaved for at least a few days and that salt and pepper beard is filling in nicely. His face is unguarded, expression open, those laugh lines and dimples you love make frequent appearances.

After dinner you lay all over each other in some weird we-have-intimacy-issues approximation of cuddling. It works so you don't question it. He has his laptop and you have your tablet and together you have sporadic conversation. Its comfortable. 

Until Diego asks you a seemingly innocuous question that you know is very nefarious:

"What color do you like in cars?"

Your eyes narrow so much that you have trouble seeing. "...Why." Your low tone might be frightening to anyone else.

He looks at you over the laptop screen, brown eyes innocently wide. "Just curious. Your car is green. Do you like any other colors?" He slowly pulls the laptop closer to himself to subtly cover the screen with his bulk. 

"Diego." You slowly put down your tablet and start leaning toward him. He has nowhere to go, propped up in the corner of the chaise end of the sofa. "What. Are. You. Doing." 

"Will you let me take care of you? Just in this one way right now?" He licks his lips, brow furrowed in concentration. Building desperation shows in his eyes and you can't fight that. You don't want to win this.

"Let me see, baby." Your sighed acquiescence has an instantaneous effect. Diego drops the tension from his shoulders and opens an arm to you in invitation. You crawl up him to cuddle into his chest, wedged on your side between all those muscles and the back of the sectional. From here you are stationed directly in front of the laptop screen.

He is looking at cars. 

Armored cars. 

Armored, bulletproof, explosive resistant cars. 

What. The. Fuck.

"Diego, what the fuck is going on?!?" Your apprehensive demand sets him right back on edge. You can feel him go tense underneath you. The laptop gets shoved onto an empty cushion as you throw yourself over him. Tiny hands land on those broad shoulders with extreme force as you use all of your deadweight to trap him. Below you, Diego shakes but you can't tell if its from anger or anxiety because his eyes are scrunched closed tightly. "Tell me why I need a fucking bulletproof car!"

He surges up into your face to match your volume, "She knows! Mi hermana perra knows about you! Alicia found out about us!" You lurch back in shock, but the steel hands on your hips stop you from retreating. His voice is hoarse, louder than you've ever heard him, and its terrifying. Your fear must show because he releases his grip on you like it burns. 

"WHAT?" The ramifications here could truly be lethal. Alicia has already tried to set Diego up to take the fall when they were arrested almost four months ago. You know she has scorned Diego's familiarity with his men in the past, that is why he handpicks them personally. To Alicia, everyone is disposable, even her own brother. Her only loyalty is to herself.

Diego's hands come up in an aborted reach for you. You're still too shocked to move. His face crumbles in agony and he blinks furiously, hands balling into fists. "Everything I have ever wanted she has ensured I never got. She, she manipulates me into destroying everything I touch. I will not let her hurt you! I refuse to allow her to break us, mi amor!!" His volume has steadily escalated until he is yelling. 

He's afraid. He is afraid that he will lose me. The realization emboldens you enough to take his hands in your own, bring them to your chest, and press them close to your heart. You trust that he won't hurt you in his rage. You don't fear him, this dangerous, powerful, ruthless man that you love.

His hands open to slide up your shoulders, curl around your neck, and his thumbs glide over the pulse point under your ears. He brings your face to his own, his expression twisted up with fear and anger and possession and love. 

"You are mine! And I will keep you!"

You realize everything that you have been debating with yourself, all of your pro versus con lists, your stupid little dry erase board covered in sticky notes with your fears, your scribbled timeline of events and possible future predictions, none of it matters. All you care about is the man in your arms. Diego is the most important thing in your life and you can't imagine a life without him. If you had to give up everything to keep him, you would do it in a heartbeat. 

Your hands grip tightly around his wrists and you consciously straighten your spine. Expression hardening, your eyes open to meet his anguished gaze.

 "I want black."

The armored 2020 Camry is delivered that Sunday. You thank him for finding something inconspicuous with an upgraded JBL sound system and he compliments your understated color choice of Black Sand Metallic. By the time you drop him off at the airport that evening you've managed to replace the new car smell with something better and you're thankful that the leather seats just wipe clean. Monday morning in the parking lot at work, however, is a literal ordeal.

---------------------

The next two weeks feel like they’re seven months long. You clock out at noon on Thursday to a chorus of your coworkers making vaguely lewd remarks and howling with laughter about your vacation. 'Two whole weeks on a beach in Mexico with an absolutely loaded hottie' is what they've been repeating gleefully all week. 

You turn around and walk backwards to give them finger guns, "Yes," then you reach down to adjust your pants, "And YES." Their squeals are contagious and you're still laughing when you burst out the front doors to drive home. 

You turn the volume waaaay too high in the car so that your teeth vibrate and it feels like you're having heart palpitations. I love this fucking car and I love that man. 

There is a rental Tahoe parked in the grass next to the huge gravel driveway at your farmhouse, but he left the second assigned parking space next to your Corolla open so you can park The Beast (as you have affectionately named your new ride) appropriately while away. When you get out of the car you glance up instinctively, Diego is standing outside your front door on the small third floor balcony laughing. 

"Are you deaf yet, Princess?" He hollers down in amusement. 

You flip him off with the middle finger that wears the gemstone ring he gave you while yelling back, "WHAAAAT??"

His laughter fades as he disappears inside, leaving the door wide open to let out all the cold air. Were you raised in a barn?? Close the door, the electric bill-- You cut off your own thoughts when you suddenly remember that you haven't been paying that electric bill for the last six months. Nevermind.

Before you can start up the stairs, Sara, your first floor neighbor, appears on the porch with their toddler. "Hey stranger!" Sara waves with a big smile and the kid does the same but with some kind of unidentifiable kitchen utensil in hand. "That is your boyfriend, right? He had a key so I didn't think it was your ex but I wanted to make sure. I mean, from what I just saw it is your boyfriend. Also, holy shit, that's your boyfriend?"

If she says the word 'boyfriend' one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust. 

"Uh yeah, definitely not my ex. Sorry, I forget that you guys haven't really seen him before, I meant to tell you he was coming." You can feel your face burning and it isn't from the August sun. Sara fans her own face with a hand while mouthing 'he's hot' like you're somehow unaware. You forge on before she can start gushing aloud. "We're actually leaving on a trip tonight so I'll be gone for the next two weeks."

Now Sara drops the kid and scrambles over to whisper fiercely to you, "Oh my god, seriously? Where are you going? Wait, this is the same guy you've been going to see in New York, right? How long has it been, like a year? Is he taking you on a trip for your anniversary? I don't even know his name. Oh my god, that is so sweet!"

Okay, down girl. You're not sure who you're trying to will into being chill, Sara or yourself. 

"Um, we're going to Mexico. And yeah, he's the guy in New York. It's just a vacation." You don't even touch the relationship questions with a ten foot pole. You glance up but Diego is still inside, Thank fuck. 

Sara hops a little in excitement. "I'm sooo jealous!" She squeals. "You have to take a ton of pictures! I need to see! Oh my god, I bet you guys are such a cute couple!" You nod and start backing away, trying to wave goodbye so you can climb the stairs and then climb Diego. "Ooh ooh, wait, what's his name?" Sara hisses conspiratorially. "Does he speak Mexican? Is he Mexican!?!"

You suddenly remember why you tried to move away from this area. Repeatedly. "Yeah, he's Mexican and yes, he speaks Spanish." You sigh. Sara nods but continues staring at you expectantly. Fine. "His name is Diego."

Sara makes a stupid face like this is a rom-com movie. I cannot take anymore, you must shut the fuck up. "Okay, okay. I won't hold you up. But seriously, we can have a 'pics and wine' girls' night when you come back!" She waves maniacally before snatching up the kid and skipping back inside. 

I can't think of anything I would like less. Oh hell no.

You climb the stairs in record time before she can come back outside and start talking again.

Bastian, Julio, and a third man you don't know are in your living room. You do not care and your vague wave shows it. You can hear Julio's warm 'Gordita!' greeting as you spin around and march to the bedroom.

Diego is standing at your bed, tucking TMP into your small duffel, when you burst through the doorway and continue at full speed directly into him. He laughs breathlessly but holds steady against your weight. "Princess. Are you ready?"

You take overflowing fistfuls of his shirt, bury your face in his chest, suck in a huge lungful of air, and shriek at full volume.

"Uhhh...that is a yes, si?" He mutters uncertainly above you. 

You rear back to look up at him with a smile so wide it hurts.

"Oh good." His hands come to your shoulders while those beautiful brown eyes sparkle. The dimples and laugh lines come out as he absorbs your infectious excitement. Your hands shoot up to his hair to yank him down so you can crash your mouths together with bruising force.

The effect is immediate. He moans loudly and crushes you against him. You dig nails into his neck and you lick your way into his mouth, his hands snake down to your ass to hold tight. Your left leg comes up as you try to wrap it around his hips. With a pained groan he rips those lips off of yours and pulls back. Undeterred, you move on to assaulting his now bared throat, moaning like porn come to life.

"Princess," he gasps, "You have to sto-- uhhh, yes, bonita. Your fucking tongue." You're too busy licking his adam's apple to pay attention to words right now. "Nooo, mi amor, please, lo siento, stopstopstop." You get in one last nip of his collarbone as he pulls your head back via a handful of ringlets. His pupils are blown wide and he's panting hard. You stare longingly at his delectable mouth while making pitiful whines.

"Please, baby, pleeeease. You're all I've thought about for days. I need you!" You try shameless begging, you're certainly not lying. Petting over his shoulders and down that solidly muscled chest, you shudder and try to pull yourself back to him.

He closes his eyes with a grimace. "Flight! Fuck you on the flight!" He croaks, then yanks your hair harder than you like. The pain clears the fog just enough for you to blink back to awareness. You nod jerkily and step back. "Have to leave now to get there before dark." He explains in a rushed huff. You blink as you remember how time works.

"Right. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay." Straightening to attention you yank off the cardigan you wore for the air conditioning at work, leaving you in a tank top and ready to be productive. Focus on not-dick.

Diego shoves your favorite notepad in your face so you can see your packing list and not him. The distraction works. He has checked off every item in each categorized list but left the strike through action for your completion. You lower the notepad until you can make eye contact with him and intensely whisper, "You know I fuckin' love you, right?"  

He laughs so hard he has to sit down on the bed.

You go through every bag, touching each item and crossing it off your list one at a time. He did it. Everything but you.

"You know I don't need TMP, right?"

"Why?" He squints up at you from where he lounges across your bed. 

Your face heats up and you clear your throat. "Well, its, I'm. I have, uh, you. So I don't need anything else." The realization of how true that is in every sense gives both of you pause.

Diego surges upright to cup your face and bonk your foreheads together just a little too hard. You giggle and he huffs. 

"Mi amor…" he sighs for you, eyes closing in pleasure. You 'mmmmm' in response. Then his eyes snap open and he growls an order, "Get changed so we can go!" And punctuates it with a stinging slap to your ass.

----------------------------

You spend the flight with your face pressed to the window, vibrating in excitement, except for a brief intermission of seven orgasms in the bathroom.

The unknown third man is Joey, Bastian's boyfriend. Joey is even quieter than Bastian and just as cute. They're not overly demonstrative but clearly comfortable moving around each other. Joey works in "Packaging" and does an admirable job of ignoring his cartel drug lord boss being snuggly. Julio naps. 

The customs agent at the Cancun airport looks you up and down with wide eyes but stamps your passport with no questions. Its a five hour drive to Xcalak but Diego is adamant it can be done in three. You give him an eyebrow question which he dismisses with a vague wave, "They paved the road all the way to the southern border last year."

Uhh, they what now? You understand soon enough. The drive drastically changes outside of Cancun. The scenery is both beautiful and heartbreaking. There are occasional mansions with armed guards, high fences, and SUVs like your own current ride. Mostly though, its shacks and people on foot or riding bicycles, weaving to avoid stray dogs and huge iguanas. Could I handle this as my daily reality?

The first time the road sidles right up to the ocean you have a small meltdown.

 "Is that what I think it is?" Your soft whisper is accompanied by a shaking hand pointing to the left. Diego, crammed into the middle of the backseat between yourself and Julio so you could have an unobstructed view, indicates an order for Bastian to pull over. He reaches across you and pops open your door. You slide out with his hand on your lower back and take about a dozen steps to the lapping water. Diego appears to your right, watching you intently.

 "Its gre-e-e-en!" Your stuttering squeal is accompanied by happy tears and you fling yourself into Diego with joy. He laughs at you, but hugs you back just as tightly.

----------------------------

The first week passes in a blur of amazing food, warm green sea, fruity drinks, and shirtless wet Diego. And so many orgasms that you can't keep count. Diego is all over you non-stop, more than he ever has been before (Astonishingly). Its incredible and you feel like the only person in the world. If he's not molesting you then he is at least touching you; keeping you in his lap, holding your hand, cuddling and petting and snuggling like a man obsessed. 

You love it. You love him. You love this life.

On Saturday he lets you lead him through the tiny town, your Spanish improving by leaps and bounds as you try to navigate the streets and alleys and shops. The four years of high school Spanish actually prove useful as you manage to complete a purchase all by yourself. Your playful mock smugness evaporates under the blazing desire in his eyes. 

He drags you back to the casita in a much shorter and more direct route than you took upon earlier departure. You're marched directly to the bed and he puts one massive hand in the middle of your chest to gently push you down onto your back. There is something different about this, something important in his eyes. Your voice is high and soft, "Diego?"

He climbs up between your legs and leans down to kiss you senseless. It goes on forever; soft lips, scratchy beard, silky tongue, and nothing but the taste of Diego. Your moans and sighs are mixed together, there are moments when you can't tell who is making what noise. His hands are shaking as he strokes every inch of newly bared and sunburnt sensitive skin while undressing you. 

It takes repeated attempts, but you finally get him naked, too. The sight never fails to take your breath away. All that soft, and now freshly tanned, skin is like velvet to your touch. You're mesmerized by his muscles flexing and then evening out as he moves above you. He finally gets your linen pants untangled off your left foot and flings them across the room with unnecessary force. Your soft peals of laughter light up his face and it brings tears to your eyes. You reach a hand out to him, "Diego. Baby."

He comes up over you, threading fingers into your hair, kissing you slowly and thoroughly. You can feel him against you, fire hot and mouth wateringly hard, but he makes no move to take you. Your eyes open in hazy confusion as the kiss ends. Diego is watching your face, blinking back tears. 

He is holding your head still, hands like steel. Whatever this is, he needs it. And you want to give him everything he needs. Forever.

You're captured by his eyes, bottomless, soulful, and hungry. His raspy voice is soft and trembling with desire. "I love you, Bicki. I want everything. Forever, Princess?" 

Your chest compresses and your heart implodes. Scalding tears escape when you blink and you're nodding before you even know it. "Yes, Diego. Yes, baby, I'm yours." 

Your back arches off the bed as he comes home and brings you with him.

-----------------------

You wake up crushed under Diego. The sun is still up so you might be able to talk him into going out for dinner. You rub your cheek on the huge bicep doubling as your pillow and Diego sighs directly into your ear from where he is spooned up behind you. Oh yeah, we should have done this waaaay sooner.

He nuzzles your neck just to incite squirmy giggles and you don't even fight it. "I have something for you, Princess. Stay here." He pulls away and you whine about the loss of your pillow. His low chuckle burns you alive with want. "Stay like that. Do not move." You obey while you listen to him rummage around behind you.

He comes around to your side of the bed, still completely and unabashedly nude. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You love it. He hands your glasses over and you slide them on to take in the now high definition view of naked Murder Panther. The view disappears as he kneels down next to the bed so you're on eye level. His expression is very peculiar. 

His hands slowly come up to reveal a small box of black velvet. Time slows to a halt as he opens the box and presents it to you. 

Inside is a ring. Gleaming in platinum and sparkling with three tastefully large princess cut diamonds. 

Its an engagement ring.

Diego is proposing. 

He swallows hard and rumbles gruffly, "Now remember, you already said y--"

You cut him off with a shriek. "YES! YESYESYES!!"

In the time it takes him to blink twice with surprise you're on him. Arms around his neck, you throw yourself into his lap. He topples backwards and you ride him to the floor, already bawling hysterically. 

He stares up at you in shock as you nod furiously and cry all over him. "Princess. You… you are certain?" If this were any other time you would be howling with laughter at his huge eyes and lax jaw. 

Your answer is stuttery but determined. "Y-y-yeah. Put it-t-t-t on me already!" 

He laughs in delight at your order and the imperious presentation of your shaking left hand. The ring glides on easily, a perfect fit. It gleams up at you blindingly. After a moment of admiration you lace your fingers with his and sigh at the union. His other hand comes up to roughly brush away your tears. "I know you do not like labels so much… but, you will be my, my married... Person. Thing?" 

You stroke his bearded cheek in return, thumb lingering on that dimple. With a hard gulp you dive in head first. Fuck it.

"Yes, Diego. I will be your wife."

----------------------

The next time you wake it is dark out. You reach for a phone on the nightstand to your left and jump when you find one with a loud crack. Diego pops upright behind you, instantly on high alert. "Princess?" He hisses while covering your body with his own.

You gigglesnort, then meekly answer him, "I forgot about the ring and whacked a phone. Everything's okay, baby."

He sighs so deeply that his breath ruffles your hair. "Jesus fucking christ, woman. You are a menace."  He flops down on top of you and snuggles back into your warmth. 

You reach back with your left hand and grope blindly for his face. He licks your fingers as soon as they're in reach and you stuff them into his mouth as retaliation. He just sucks languidly. 

"Mmmmmm, I'm your menace, baby. And I have to pee." He nips your fingers but rolls over to free you. You slide out of the bed and stretch your arms high while arching your back. Diego groans painfully. "What?"

Diego rises to all fours on the bed while the sheet slithers off of him. "You forget that other people can see without glasses, huh?" You cock your head and realize that you have a shadow.

It's a full moon. And I just stretched naked in front of a sliding glass door. "Oh. Huh. I guess I do forget. Oops. I'll be sure to keep that in mind now." Your seemingly tame answer is directly contradicted by the exaggerated roll of your hips that makes your butt bounce when you walk off. 

"Fucking menace, woman." Diego growls as you push the bathroom door shut with a trill of laughter.

You never do go back to bed but you do wind up on the beach in front of the casita to watch the sunrise. Julio finds you both snuggled together late the next morning, still asleep on the covered daybed under the palms while the rising tide comes ever closer. At least Julio has the decency to cover your bare ass with a beach towel.

-----------------------------------

By the time you think to check your phone gallery you have… 1,792 pictures. WHAT THE FUCK. 

You scroll through the pics, there are a lot you do not remember taking. Was I that drunk or did Diego take some of these? One is a close up of your ass from below wearing a string bikini, I knew I wasn't that drunk. The next pic is Diego asleep on a lounge chair, one arm curled up above his head, muscles glistening in the sun, and swim trunks so low on his hips that it's almost obscene. Immediately following that is the same pic but with your own face photobombing about three inches away from the camera and giving a thumbs up with your left hand so your engagement ring is prominently visible. Oh yeah, I remember that one. 

There are videos, too. The first one is Diego making lewd comments while you twerk in the ocean for about ten seconds. Okay, that's par for the course with us. Next is you successfully backflipping off of Diego's shoulders into the green water to everyone freaking out. Shit, even I'm impressed with myself. After that is video of you gagging through a dish of octopus at some restaurant. Both of you are clearly visible in the shot so Julio must have had the phone. Betrayal. 

There are tens of dozens of the two of you in various poses and outfits, both disgustingly happy and blatantly in love. There's even a role reversal shot of Diego sprawled across your lap, one enormous arm wrapped around your neck and his knees over your own arm while you grimace and he laughs hysterically. The table to your right is covered in empty bottles and mostly finished drinks. An entire subsection depicts you asleep like you have a stalker. You count no less than 29 of you two trying on increasingly ridiculous hats in random stores.

You can't even keep count of all the close ups of a smoldering Murder Panther. You feel no guilt.  Aren't you supposed to be ridiculously attracted to your fiancé??

Fiancé.

You have a fiancé. Your fiancé is Diego. You are engaged to Diego Rafael Jimenez. 

I have to explain this ring to everyone. They'll have questions about him. People will want pictures. How do I explain what he does?? Oh my god, there's no closet here. I have to… find somewhere. And I can't I can't. Its-

Your head jerks upright when something touches your hair. Its Diego. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he has unfurled a sheet over you to block out everything, and he waits there, watching you. Before you realize it your hands are reaching for his shoulders, just the feel of him, warm and solid under your hands, calms you. 

Slowly, his right hand comes up to cover your left. "No closet, Princess." His huge fingers grip yours tightly. You nod a little. He just watches you, eyes guarded. 

"Ask. Go ahead." You mutter. You can tell from his posture that he is uneasy, apprehensive. 

He locks eyes with you and his gaze is intense. He curls all of his fingers around your left ring finger. "Still yes?" 

The fear in his eyes breaks your heart. Your voice is shaky but determined, "No. You can't get rid of me. I'm your problem now, baby."  His expression would make a meeker woman cower in fear, you laugh weakly. 

He settles down on the tile floor in front of you, with the sheet over both of you. Its like four in the afternoon and I am sharing a blanket fort with my cartel boss fiancé while on vacation in Mexico. What even is my life? His elbows are on his knees, chin in hand. He studies you for a minute, you stare right back. He raises one eyebrow and you sigh in capitulation. 

"I don't know how to just be happy. I suck at it."  You shrug but reach for his face. Diego nuzzles into your hand while you stroke your thumb over his beard. 

"Habby isz nawt a berb." He slurs into your palm with a soft kiss.

The epiphany is like a cinder block to the brain. 

He's right. I don't have to 'do' anything. I'm happy right now. I've been happy every time I'm with him. And no one had to exert any effort.

People can define themselves. People can define their relationships. Why can't they define their own normal? I can make my own rules. Especially with someone like Diego as my partner.

His one eyebrow slowly rises as he watches your thoughts play out across your face. "You back?" He asks with a hidden smirk, you know its there from the way his eyes crinkle with laugh lines.

"Yup!" Is your decisive answer. Diego licks your palm. "I got better places you can lick, baby." You answer his smirk with a waggling eyebrow. 

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of play wrestling and inappropriate noises.

-----------------------

You do, in fact, go on a safari. Of sorts. Tours of ruins and jungle and cenotes, lots of side quests because the both of you are easily distracted by pretty colors. You probably added another thousand pictures of various palm trees to your gallery. The hat makes multiple appearances. 

Diego has to ship a crate home to New York because he bought you too many souvenirs. You laugh and tease him when he wants to pick out things for your middle sister and niece, until you hear his logic. 

"They were nice to me." He murmurs with a little half-shrug, "It was like being in a real family for a little bit." He studies the bins of painted shells on display in the little store with way too much focus.

You spend a moment deliberating before you decide to reach out and touch his elbow.

 "Hey," your soft voice brings his gaze your way momentarily before he goes back to ceramic turtle magnets. You take his hand with your own right and rest your left hand on his chest. Diego looks down where your ring glints in the light, then up to your face. "You know you're going to be part of that 'real' family, right?"

Diego's boyish little smile is heartbreakingly adorable. 

---------------------------------

The flight home is much shorter than you want it to be and you spend most of it asleep on Diego. At one point you wake up to see Bastian and Joey cuddled up together napping. When you look up from where your head is resting in Diego's lap he is already looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

"What?" You whisper softly. You stifle a yawn and blink repeatedly. 

Diego strokes one big hand over your hair and grips your jaw firmly. With a huge toothy grin he answers, "Mine." 

"Uh huh. How many times you need me to say yes, baby?" You smirk up at him with an arched brow. He seems to be reveling in hearing you readily admit your commitment to him.

He considers your question carefully while his other hand trails down the front of your body under a blanket. I don't remember having a blanket earlier. Finally, Diego settles on "Every day. At least seven times. Seven is a good number, right Princess?" 

Your body jerks as his fingers press between your thighs with steady determination. Your eyes flick over to Bastian and Joey, still out cold. You make a show of wiggling around to get comfortable, and, surprisingly, that involves spreading your legs. "Yessss." You hiss up at him.

Julio reclines his seat and exaggeratedly covers his face with a new hat. 

Seven is a very good number.

------------------------------------------

Your first day back to work is a circus. You don't think twice about your normal greeting as you enter the office suite. You swipe your badge with your right hand and pop the door, then wave 'hi' to everyone. Like usual. With your left hand. 

There is an excessive amount of squealing that makes you second guess going into a female dominated field. The whole day is a wash because you have a steady stream of people passing through your cubicle. You're glad you had the forethought to curate a photo album of appropriate images to show your coworkers despite Diego's repeated attempts to sneak a dick pic in there somewhere. You most definitely included the glistening swim trunks lounge chair picture. Squealing intensifies.

Everyone comments on the hat and you're forced to tell the story of the hat. How you once told Diego that you wanted to see palm trees, 'But like, in the wild.' And Diego had laughed so hard that he fell off the bed only to pop back up wheezing about a 'Palm Tree Safari' until you smacked him in the face with a pillow. Your coworkers think it is just disgustingly adorable that he never let you live that down. 

Your coworkers have questions:

When is the wedding? 

Where are you having it?

What kind of dress do you want?

What are your colors?

Are you going to do flowers?

What about the cake?

Who is your maid of honor?

How did your family take the news?

What about his family?

Are you going to New York?

Will you take his name?

Oh shit. I forgot about the whole 'wedding' part of this.

[route22ny]

When it was announced earlier this month that President Donald Trump was hospitalized with COVID-19, there was a chance that maybe, just maybe, he would finally start taking this pandemic seriously.

  Fat chance.

  Shortly after leaving Walter Reed Medical Center (where the president, a critic of "socialized medicine," got the finest medical treatment that government can provide), Trump was back on his bullshit — holding massive rallies across the country, where thousands of his supporters gathered, many not wearing masks, as if the whole thing never happened. As this week's issue went to press, Trump was expected to bring another one of his superspreader events to Michigan, with a rally scheduled for Tuesday, Oct. 27 in Lansing — a week before the Tuesday, Nov. 3 general election — because apparently Trump doesn't care if Michiganders die.

  On Friday, the U.S. reported its highly daily number of coronavirus cases, with at least 81,400 new cases reported. More than 222,000 Americans have died from the virus so far. In Michigan, more than 7,522 people have died from COVID-19.

  If you're sick of Trump's plague, there's something you can do about it. Vote for Democrats Joe Biden and Kamala Harris for the presidential ticket, and Gary Peters for Senate, on Tuesday, Nov. 3.

  That's not all that's on the ballot. We also have an opportunity to move the Michigan Supreme Court to the left (by voting for Bridget Mary McCormack and Elizabeth Welch). There are also two state ballot proposals: Proposal 1 (a constitutional amendment that would allow money from oil and gas mining on state-owned lands to continue to be collected in state funds for land protection and creation and maintenance of parks) and Proposal 2 (which would require a search warrant in order to access a person's electronic data or electronic communications). In Detroit, voters can weigh in on Proposal N (which would allow the City of Detroit to sell $250 million in Neighborhood Improvement Bonds to preserve and renovate 8,000 homes and remove another 8,000 blighted homes). —Lee DeVito

  What you need to vote  

  Simply show up in person to your local polling place on Tuesday, Nov. 3. Bring a photo ID, such as a driver's license, identification card, or U.S. passport. If you don't have an ID, don't worry. You can fill out a brief affidavit stating that you're not in possession of a photo ID. Your vote will still be counted.

  Don't forget your face mask, although it's not required at polling stations. It wouldn't hurt to bring some hand sanitizer or gloves, too. And don't forget social distancing. You'll likely be standing in a long line and encountering election workers. You may also want to bring a personal cheat sheet to remind yourself how you're voting. Even the most astute voters may not be familiar with all of the races, especially the judicial ones.  

  To find your polling place and preview your ballot, visit the Michigan Voter information Center at michigan.gov/vote. Polling places are open from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Election Day, Tuesday Nov. 3. If you're in line to vote at 8 p.m., you have the right to cast your vote. If you're still in line at 8 p.m. and someone tries to send you home and deny you your right to vote, don't take no for an answer. Ask for a supervisor and an on-site voting advocate.

  Anyone who is registered to vote may cast an absentee ballot in Michigan. Michigan expects a record number of absentee voters in November because of the coronavirus. More than 2 million voters have already requested an absentee ballot. —Steve Neavling

  Voting deadlines  

  We've been trying our best to keep our readers up to date with the various deadlines for the election, considering all the chaos of 2020 — you know, a pandemic, civil unrest, Trump's suspiciously timed cuts to the U.S. Postal Service, yadda, yadda, yadda — but it turns out things are a bit more complicated than we thought they were.

  See, in 2018 Michigan voters approved Proposal 3, which was supposed to make it easier to vote by allowing for no-reason absentee voting and other changes. And it does — but there are quite a few different scenarios to consider, and they all have various deadlines.

  Reader Jordan Smellie would know. Smellie's an elections specialist for the City of Ferndale.

  "Proposal 2018-3's changes to the constitution made things much better for voters by adding a lot of flexibility, but the downside of that is that it created a staggered series of nuanced deadlines that have proven very difficult for anyone to keep straight, and even more difficult to summarize gracefully," Smellie tells us via email.

  Graciously, Smellie has provided us with a more detailed timeline, which we have edited lightly for style. We hope this helps you as much as it helped us.

  Your deadlines for the upcoming general election are:

  Friday, Oct. 30 (5 p.m.): If you're getting an absentee voter ballot for this election, your local Clerk can't mail it to you after this time. But you can still get an absentee ballot in person at your local city or township hall.

  Saturday, Oct. 31 (2 p.m.): If you made a mistake on your ballot or changed your mind, your local Clerk can't mail you a replacement ballot after this time. You can still get a replacement ballot in person at your local city or township hall.

  Sunday, Nov. 1: The last day you can pick up an absentee voter ballot and take it home with you.

  Monday, Nov. 2: You can still get an absentee voter ballot in person, but you have to vote in your local city or township hall. Just like on Election Day, you can't take your ballot out of the room.

  Monday, Nov. 2 (10 a.m.): If you've already turned in your ballot, you can't change your votes after this time. (If you're voting in your local Clerk's office today and you make a mistake, you can still receive a replacement ballot.)

  Monday, Nov. 2 (4 p.m.): Your local Clerk can't issue absentee ballots to anyone for any reason after this time. (If you're already in the room at 4 p.m., you will be served by staff.)

  Tuesday, Nov. 3: Election Day. Polls are open from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. All absentee voter ballots must be signed and in the Clerk's possession by 8 p.m. in order to be counted.

  To make sure your ballot arrives in time, you should not send it by mail. Instead, you should drop it off at your local Clerk or at a designated ballot drop-box. You can find the addresses for both, as well as the answers to any other questions you might have, at michigan.gov/vote. —Lee DeVito

  Officials warn of potential violence  

  Michigan is among five states with the highest risk of right-wing militia violence during and after the election, according to an alarming new report from a nonprofit that tracks political violence.

  The Armed Conflict Location & Event Data Project (ACLED) examined the activities of more than 80 militias across the country and concluded that Michigan is at a heightened risk, based on active militia training, anti-coronavirus lockdown rallies, and the presence of the Proud Boys, the far-right brawlers whom President Trump told to "stand back and stand by."

  Michigan is home to several active militias, including Michigan Liberty Militia and the Michigan Home Guard.

  "In light of this activity, tensions run high" in Michigan, the report states.

  Battleground states such as Michigan also run a higher risk for violence. Trump won by just 0.2% in 2016, or some 10,000 votes.

  The report highlights the arrests of 14 men accused of plotting to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and attack the state Capitol and law enforcement, with the goal of instigating a civil war.

  Among the warning signs for militant activity are protests against states' coronavirus lockdowns. In April, hundreds of armed protesters stormed the state Capitol in Lansing, and the rallies were among the first in the nation. An analysis of Black Lives Matter rallies found that counter-protesters, including the Proud Boys, were often involved, sometimes clashing with demonstrators. On Aug. 15, for example, the Proud Boys clashed with supporters of the anti-fascist Michigan People's Defense League and Black Lives Matter movement.

  In May, armed militia members pledged to block police from forcing the closure of an Owosso barber shop that opened in defiance of Michigan's stay-at-home order.

  Michigan officials are taking precautions. Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson recently banned guns near polling locations, and Attorney General Dana Nessel said state troopers will be sent to polling places in counties where officials fear local sheriffs may not enforce voter intimidation laws.

  The report concludes that the "trends raise significant concerns for the security of the election period."

  "It is yet unclear how many of these groups will react, no matter the vote's outcome," the report states. "Does a Trump loss lead to anger at the system and a backlash against what is deemed a stolen election? Does a Trump victory further empower groups that see him as a supporter, including through verbal encouragement ahead of the election? The answers to these questions are as numerous as they are uncomfortable."

  Three gun-rights groups have filed a lawsuit against Benson to nullify her ban on openly carrying firearms at or near polling locations on Election Day.

  Michigan Open Carry, Michigan Gun Owners, and Michigan Coalition for Responsible Gun Owners argue that Benson's directive violates state law and harms residents who want "to exercise both their 2nd Amendment right to self-protection and their fundamental right to vote."

  "Nowhere within Michigan's Constitution is the office of the Secretary of State empowered to issue directives regarding the time, place or manner of elections," the suit said. "Indeed, those powers are specifically limited to the Legislature."

  The groups are asking a judge to issue an injunction to suspend Benson's order before Election Day.

  The Michigan Association of Chiefs of Police also criticized the order, arguing that it does not give police "the authority to enforce the Secretary of State edict."     On Tuesday, after this week's issue went to press, a Michigan judge struck down Benson's gun ban at polling places. —Steve Neavling

  When will we know the results?  

  Don't bother staying up late on Election Day, because officials in Michigan say it's going to likely take longer than usual to count all the ballots. Be patient!

  That's because of the unprecedented volume of mail-in ballots local clerks are reporting in Michigan, as is the case in other states, due in part to the pandemic. In 2018, Michigan voters approved no-reason absentee ballot voting.

  Several local officials held a Zoom meeting on Thursday to explain the situation. In Hamtramck, City Clerk August Gitschlag said the tiny two-square-mile city has already seen seven times the typical number of absentee ballots. Due to state law, however, they can't start counting the ballots until Election Day.

  "We've been working round-the-clock to process absentee applications and send out ballots," Gitschlag said. "But we don't have the infrastructure to keep up with the overwhelming demand. We will count every vote, but being right is more important than being fast. I want to urge everyone to please be patient."

  Assistant Secretary of State Heaster Wheeler said municipalities across the state are seeing similar spikes.

  "We see every sign that this will be a high-turnout election all across Michigan," Wheeler said. "Secretary of State [Jocelyn] Benson and our team are working incredibly hard to make sure that every vote is counted fairly, efficiently, and accurately. We're going to get this right." —Lee DeVito