#all she does know is that she doesnt want to see him or anyone repeating her mistakes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

barb-l · 3 months

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Vaggie is my favorite character, so I want to know where all of this hate for her came from. Like…people hate Vaggie yet love Lute, for example….. wtf? How? And I’m not saying people have to like the same things I do, but I’ve seen mfs bash Vaggie for things other characters have done. Again… what? The? Fuck?

Oh hohoho

I'm in a ranting mood, so let me tell you exactly why by paraphrasing some of the hate posts I've seen classlessly left in the chaggie tag before I blocked the OP's for said posts

"Vaggie has nothing going for her character. All she is, is Charlie's girlfriend"

- not even remotely true. She has a lot going on with her character aside from being The Girlfriend. She struggles with deep self-hatred, something that doesn't necessarily revolve around Charlie, although it does affect her relationship with her(codependency). It's a huge character flaw, though not necessarily bad character writing. It's something she needs to grow from, and something we can still see unfold in the coming seasons. Although she's helping with the hotel to be a supportive girlfriend, it is also something Vaggie believes to be the right thing to do regardless of Charlie. As Rosie inferred, Vaggie saw helping with the hotel as a way to atone for her sins and to do better. Even if the person running the Hotel weren't Charlie or anyone she fell for, I believe it's something she still would have helped with given her backstory. She has connections with other characters too that can be explored more in the future. Aside from just being "Charlie's girlfriend", she is Carmilla's possible additional daughter figure, she is Alastor's biggest obstacle in gaining whatever tf from Charlie, she is Lute's rival, and finally she is Lucifer's blatant parallel.

"Being a fallen angel is the only thing carrying her character. And we barely got any build up on that."

- let's say that's true. IF that's the case, why isn't anyone spitting hate on characters like Husk whose only "thing" is being a past overlord? Even though this had less foreshadowing than Vaggie's angel secret? Even though his only purpose in the story so far is to be Angel's love interest? He may be an alcoholic, but it's barely touched upon what terrible effects that may have for him. And although having his soul owned by Alastor sucks, does he actually suffer aside from that one time Alastor threatened his life? All Alastor is making him do is man the bar(so far). He has nothing to develop from with his character either. In fact, aside from the swearing and the grumpiness, he's a pretty swell guy who doesn't seem to fit in hell. He doesnt have a flaw that the story can aim to have him improve from. All he has going for him is his romance arc with Angel, and his past as an Overlord. Which, i repeat, isn't a bad thing! But how come Vaggie would get so much hate for similar criticisms, while Husk is widely loved by majority of the fandom?

"She doesn't have any chemistry with Charlie"

- something told by someone who ships:

Ch*rl*stor - two people who have only had direct interactions in the pilot(a quick dance number), episode 5(Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's daddy issues to curry favor with her and hit Lucifer's ego), and ep 7 (Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's dejection to make a deal with Charlie). A ship involving the kindest soul in Hell and a serial killer who has no desire to change and ridicules the dream Charlie holds so dear and is so passionate about. It isn't a bad thing to crack ship. Hell I do it too, but it's such a hypocritical thing to say that a canon ship has no chemistry only to claim that two people who have barely any meaningful conversations and positive interactions objectively look more like a couple and would be a better choice to be canon. Just because you like how they look in your imagination doesn't mean canon is objectively bad.

Ch*rlie/Emily - two characters who share so much similarities they can be sisters. It is such a personal thing. I have nothing against those who ship them. It just isn't for me because of the amount of similarities they have. With the intentional parallels, I personally think Emily would be better off having a gf that resembles Vaggie. Where Chaggie has a sunshine demon X grumpy angel duo, Emily could visit hell and fall for a demon who would be her opposite.

Ch*rlie/Lucifer - it's. Incest. Cmon.

"She doesn't care about the denizens of Hell"

- Vaggie's in Hell in the first place because she spared a demon's life. She cares TOO MUCH!

"Vaggie lied to Charlie. Even Adam was more honest with her!"

- I dont even... It should be common sense why Vaggie, who had just been betrayed by ANGELS, would not trust a demon princess with her true identity. Charlie and Rosie already talked about this. Or did they have their eyes and ears closed throughout episode 7?

"She ruined Lucifer's song by reprising it. Why would she do that when it's supposed to be Charlie and Lucifer's thing?? Why would she go and use a song about familial love and change the meaning to romance??"

- musicals that reprise songs to change its initial vibe has always been a thing, first of all. Vaggie reprised Lucifer's song specifically because they have been parallels of each other for the whole show. In fact, Lucifer indirectly echoes back Vaggie's reprise, with his lyrics in The Finale mirroring Vaggie's lyrics. It's not about Vaggie "stealing Lucifer's thing", it's about these two angels who both love Charlie reminding her of that love and how much they believe in her, despite being withheld of Heaven's love and losing faith in it in the process. It's about these two forms of love withstanding Heaven's abandonment and being there for someone who wants to face Heaven head on.

This is probably one of the most ridiculous anti-Vaggie criticism I've read. It's so weird to see such an earnest act of love as something audacious. If anything, Lucifer's the one with the audacity. I love him a LOT, but he did not deserve to be forgiven just because he had a beautiful song number with his daughter. It doesn't change the fact that he neglected Charlie for ages. If anyone deserved to sing More Than Anything, it was Vaggie because she has truly shown her commitment to Charlie. But, yunno. Baby steps.

Honestly for a lot of the characters in this show, all it seems to take for the fandom to like them is to have a song number that they like. People find Vaggie's songs boring. So they find her boring. Not a lot is known or shown of characters like Vox, Velvette, Alastor, and Husk, but apparently they're better developed. Just because they have sick song numbers doesn't mean they're better developed...

#asks #hazbin hotel #chaggie

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ultra-raging-ghost · 9 months

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Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

#qsmp #the forever situation #forever player g

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sukifoof · 2 years

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hi i am once again back to talk about how flowey is an extremely good example of how to write ptsd :) but this time i am Also thinking about toriel and how similar she and flowey are... i’ve played undertale so many times and i’m Once Again nearing the end of the game, so i’ve been thinking a lot about how everything he says at the end of his fight makes me cry, but ESPECIALLY this line

everything he does is an effort to keep himself from being hurt again. he refuses to let himself get close to anyone, even his own parents, for fear of losing those he loves again. he’d rather kill over and over to have a sense of control over the loss he experienced than accept what happened. he cant let go-- he has to have control, because if he doesn’t, who knows how bad he might get hurt again. he’s an incredibly good example of what dealing with that kind of loss feels like and Oh Boy it Always gets me

its much easier for him to lie to himself and say he doesnt care at all and that he Does have complete control and that he Knows Whats Going To Happen Without A Doubt. he needs to know everything that could happen and he freaks out at any circumstance of learning something new. he says he’s bored, but he doesn’t really seem to... want?? new experiences?? he’s comfortable in this sad little life he lives because he’s scared of the future and what could change.

a lot of his alarm clock dialogue also shows how everything has affected him. of course he goes on about how it would be completely useless if he got a bike and that once you grow up you stop wanting things for the holidays. it’s pretty. depressing... he was deprived of the childhood he should have had, and now he feels it’s too late for him to be allowed to experience that. trauma can like. take a chunk out of your life that you’ll never get back, and it’s really interesting to see how that changed the way flowey views himself and his parents.

and toriel is a perfect emotional parallel to flowey. she closes herself off. she too wants to keep you there forever and pretend everything is perfectly fine, but she breaks so much easier than flowey. the human children she took care of reminded her of the children she lost, and while she doesn’t want to let them go, she does. she wants you to leave and just forget about her a never come back, just like asriel. somebody needs to take care of those flowers. flowey and toriel are extremely similar in the way they handle grief, so that makes this line extremely interesting

toriel will always open her heart to new kids that need to be taken care of, because she feels she failed her own children. toriel is willing to get hurt just to try to correct her past and prove that she can save at least one child. but, she can’t even take care of herself, and neither can flowey. he constantly neglects his emotional needs for the sake of never being hurt ever again, and the fact that toriel does the opposite probably really irks him. he just doesn’t Get it. but he still considers himself the Prince Of This World’s Future. he still tries to take care of toriel and gives her a glass of water when she passes out and puts her to bed.

he still wants to take care of everyone. i don’t know how much i’ve talked about it but i feel like a lot of his relationship with chara was him trying to take care of them as an older brother, and they both were given too much responsibility as children. so the fact that he thinks they died because he didn’t want to fight back, and that the whole kingdom fell into despair after their deaths is. oh boy. he definitely feels like a failure and he doesn’t know how to repair the damage he feels he’s caused. and now that he’s doomed to live in the underground forever, repeating over and over starting from right after everything was ruined for him? of course he thinks there’s no happy endings.

he takes on this huge task of saving everyone at his own expense but he can’t even take care of himself. similar to toriel, frisk almost feels like a redo of what happened with chara. he’s projecting the past onto them, as is common with ptsd. he’s convinced that they’ll leave and he’ll be lonely and sad forever again. so he keeps them there and goes, “okay, if you can defeat me (Which You Cant) i’ll free everyone and break the barrier.” because of COURSE that’s what felt like an impossible challenge to him. he makes himself the delta rune, a symbol of a savior; something he was never able to live up to, and something no child should Have to live up to.

his whole fight is him pretty much fighting against himself and this mindset he’s been stuck with for who knows how long. he has to accept that he can’t control/ save everything and that it’s okay to let go. he has to be saved from his own way of thinking and be shown that he’s worthy of being saved. his “i’m not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again” always makes me cry cuz he’s so clearly reliving his trauma and struggling to accept that chara is gone. it’s just such a good way to depict trauma and loss and how it feels to go through something like that.... flowey is such a well written character i love him

#undertale #flowey #asriel dreemurr #asriel #toriel #toriel dreemurr #utdr analysis

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vhvrs · 8 months

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HEY so i've been thinking about those tags you left on my rick siblings poll. rattling them around in my head, even. rick being the only child is good becauseeee... you get him feeling unwanted so to compensate he overasserts himself everywhere. excellent. and most people said that in the tags but then you said THIS

and like. "RUINED IT FOR HIS PARENTS"??? so. implied to be an unplanned pregnancy??? ...LIKE SUMMER??? i am about to be so unnormal about this. the similarities between them. Crazy . CRAZY

i do enjoy eldest daughter syndrome rick like you mentioned. definitely not because i have the same thing and am projecting hard......... but i can definitely see it. rick being that older sibling who cares so much about his little sibling(s), but also at the same time refusing to verbalize that feeling or express it healthily. and then... having that leak into his family relationships later in life when he's even LESS stable... AUGH AUGH AUGH 💥💥💥💥💥💥

i always had this thought in my mind that rick always wished he'd been closer to his sibling(s), or in the case of only child rick, wished he HAD them in the first place. and he kinda tries to emulate that specific sibling dynamic with morty and summer. (because really, the way he treats those two, especially in the early seasons is SO far removed from how anyone typically treats their grandkids. it's more like how an irresponsible older sibling would. or probably an uncle.) and obviously it doesn't WORK for a million different reasons. but Still

this ask... probably could've been its own post but i just really wanted you to know that your tags got me Thinking ejdksasksadkfvjsdc. ok that's all thank you for reading

HI HELLO this is a major delight to get so ty for that - im nodding my head in agreement soooo much

im not looking at them rn to make sure im not repeating myself but EXACTLY!! its easier to dissociate himself from things mattering whrn he wasnt wanted in the first place (airquotes around wanted he pulled away too long ago to dig into that). it works either way but again im biased on him being the oldest bc then i can see him caring abt his sibling(s) but with a growing resentment bc of his place among them... n then pretending later he never cared at all while overattaching to the only family he has left ghcgvbv

AND YES ive always thought he acts more like a big brother type at first, like he doesnt know how to handle the relationship? so he slips back into that old role instead? and its probably also why he acts the way he does esp to morty so unconsciously bc the power dynamics arent quite as intense? n why hes so distant from summer at first bc she essentially fills that role now. (or in the case of an only child rick, struggling to be a caricature of a brother/uncle n having that resentment for summer who DOES have someone)

i have not slept yet so i started rambling too bc i have thought. way too much abt ricks pre-canon experiences but greatly appreciate u getting this 👍🙇🙇🙇

#ferretwhomst #ive considered his parents also being young when they had him bc like. rick had beth young. beth had summer young. cycles cycles #n if so ugh getting raised by immature inexperienced parents who werent planning on being here explains a lot abt rick

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darcyolsson · 1 year

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hello i'm sending you this bc i'm going insane over aled atm and i feel like you Get It. anyway the last couple of chapters have made me so sad for him i feel like i'm grieving a dead character but he's literally right there 😭 but like knowing that the end of heartstopper means the start of radio silence and everything that aled has to go through like ... when he said i'm bad at studying at home i nearly started crying bc yeah of course he is ... and no one knows!! his best friends don't know!!

LITERALLY!! LITERALLY!!!!! that panel literally left 10 dead 14 injured + it being in an update so shortly after me having a full aled breakdown on the dash..... that was personal im barely recovered and now im spiralling again

it's sooo heartbreaking bc aled is kind of letting them in on the fact that Something is wrong, but it's very easy to take it as regular teenage whining (who doesnt get distracted studying at home, who doesn't think their mom sucks when theyre 15) so no one ever questions it or takes it seriously! bc why would they!

plus we know from radio silence that aled does not like to talk ab his home situation-- he genuinely goes quite far to keep frances from ever meeting carol, and when she finally does it's on accident-- so even IF one of his friends would try to dig deeper we know he would not let them. we're literally constantly being reminded that aled is not okay and steadily getting worse but also hiding it very well, SO well in fact that we know it's not going to get better for him before the end of heartstopper. i am in shambles. (and i love it. literally obsessed with the fact that someone who hasn't read radio silence wouldn't even catch on to the fact that something's up w him either just little breadcrumbs of suffering here and there i love you expanded fictional universes)

on that same note, i always kind of assumed we would see aled grow apart from the heartstopper gang, but these past few updates have made me realise that we literally don't have to? n&c make a small appearance in RS where it's evident they're still friends, just not very close ones, but it's like... always been this way?

charlie knows about daniel but as far as we know the rest of the gang might not even know he exists. none of them have any clue his home life is anything except ordinary. tao and charlie are close, as are the girls, but aled does not have anyone he's particularly close to in the group.

i think it's just a part of who he is, aled is very introverted and all of his Friend Space is probably currently being taken up by daniel. and that isn't a sad thing in itself but it's sad that he has many friends who would try to help him if they Knew but fact is aled is not someone who wants to let them know. so they dont. it all makes very much sense so let me repeat myself once more i am SHAMBLES!!!!

#also i checked the timeline for this and since heartstopper will end about a year before radio silence starts (as nick goes off to uni)#that really does mean aled will do nothing except Suffer </3 my baby im on my way w the adoption papers i mean it im on the eurostar #thanks for enabling this incoherent radio silence rant anon #radio silence #osemanverse #answered asks #anonymous

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axolozzy · 6 months

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vent (tw for extreme ablism transphobia and overall terrible stuff idek if i should even post this im sorry i just really need to vent i will probably delete this later)

y’all i’ve finally gotten comfortable vocal stimming in front of people im comfortable with like my friends and family and now my mom all of a sudden thinks im hearing voices or that i have “multiple personalities”????????* like no i promise nothings “going on” with me and j don’t need to see a mental health professional im just stimming because im happy. what the fuck

*also i’ve literally told her for YEARS that it’s called DID and talking in different voices does not fucking mean someone has “multiple personalities” because this has come up SOO fucking much over the years and i’m getting tired of explaining it. i repeat things in funny voices because it’s fun. i’ve done it my whole fucking life it’s called echolalia it’s called STIMMING and she doesn’t listen to me whenever i explain that

so much for being comfortable being myself around people. “you never used to act like this” BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!!!!! BECAUSE I HAD TERRIBLE ANXIETY AND DIDNT WANT TO BE JUDGED FOR BEING WEIRD!!!!!! my parents genuinely think there’s something severely wrong with me now. they literally told me that. because i meow sometimes as a vocal stim. and so do LITERALLY ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE AT SCHOOL. PEOPLE IN CLASS TALK IN WEIRD VOICES AND MAKE ANIMAL NOISES TOO ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! ITS NOT FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

i’m genuinely so fucking tired of this god who fucking gives a shit of im weird. i’ve been like this my whole life its not my fuckign fault that you didn’t pay attention and don’t remember. FUCK

my step dad’s a fucking dick too i genuinely hate him so fucking much i cant fucking take it anymore. NO!!!! IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK. “why” because im autistic. “that’s not an excuse” yes it fucking is bitch its literally a symptom of fucking autism. no i AM going to keep calling myself autistic because thats what i am. no its not “putting a label on myself” because im actually fucking diagnosed autistic im not going to pretend it doesnt exist. because i fucking exist. im not going to “beat” my autism by suppressing all of my autistic traits because you want me to. “why?” DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF???????

and this guy worked in mental health for 17 years. he worked at a psychiatric hospital for 17 years. he never went to college or learned anything about mental health at all. he thinks he knows more than me about my fucking disability when he says the most outdated offensive shit ive ever heard about autism or DID or schizophrenia. he doesnt listen to a word i say because he’s “older than me and has more life experience” and therefore he automatically “knows more than me and im wrong.” he doesnt listen to anyone actually. he literally says to people not to correct him when he’s wrong because he doesnt like being told he’s wrong to being told what to do or think. he’s “not going to change his beliefs for anyone” even if he knows his “beliefs” are literally just fucking factually wrong or actively harmful. he purposely makes people feel like shit if they stand up for themselves against him. he purposely makes me feel like shit because im the only one in this fucking houses that dares to disagree with the shit he says. he’s a republican he’s obsessed with trump and blasts conservative transphobic racist news channels on the tv right outside my room at night so it keeps me awake and doesnt turn the tv down when i ask because apparently he has hearing problems but has never once got that checked out. he deadnames me and says “because of his adhd he’s not sure he’ll ever remember to use the right name so he’s not even gonna try.” and he says he loves and supports me but is constantly saying the most ableist transphobic shit to me and says he’s just giving me a hard time because he loves me. he has said on multiple occasions with a straight face that “fat people piss him off and they’re the one type of people that he doesnt feel bad for being outwardly hateful and discriminatory towards.” he tries to make me feel guilty for not believing in god. he’s anti abortion. he doesnt want me to get gender affirming care under his roof because he thinks its weird and disgusting and doesnt want me to get a dick even though i have told him a million fucking times i never want bottom surgery and i dont know why this is any of his fucking business anyway. he constantly tells me my online friends aren’t real friends and when he knows i love talking to them he purposely turns the wifi off. he asks me why im acting so weird and i say its how ive always acted alone and with my friends and im just being myself and he says “stop acting like that.” “why. im not going to change who i am for other people.” “well i want you to around me.” KILL YOURSELF IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s a manipulative bastard and whenever we get into arguments, SOME FUCKING HOW a few hours later were happy and forgiving eachother and im the one saying sorry. he’s an asshole to me and everyone around him, he’s an asshole to my mom. they are constantly fighting but always deny it. i cant fucking take it anymore

sorry for this vent i know people dont follow me to know about my personal life i know i shouldnt say this stuff but i dont fucking care im so sick of this. i woke up this mornign feeling more excited happy and motivated than i have felt all week and it was ruined the second my mom came in my room saying that the way i act (my literal vocal stims) make her think there’s something severely wrong with me. i love her more than anything in the world she’s the best mom ever but what the actual fuck??????? anyway i hate my stepdad and even though i dont believe in hell i hope he fucking burns

#vent

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mrsnancywheeler · 6 months

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FINNICKS MUSE IS SO “the moon will sing” by the crane wives

“Tell me once again / I could have been anyone, anyone else / before you made the choice for me” HE LITERALLY TELLS HER ALL THE TIME THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD BE IN HER POSITION

“My feet knew the path / we would in the dark, in the dark/ I never gave a single thought to were it might lead” SHE FOLLOWS HIM BLINDLY, SHE DOESNT EVEN THING ABOUT IT

“The moon will sing a song for me / I love you like the sun” okay so like the sun and moon do not have an equal relationship. The moon follows the sun, the sun doesn’t care, it’ll continue its movements around the galaxy

“Bore the shadows that you made / with no light of my own”

“I shine only with the light you gave me” CAUSE SHE THINKS SHE NEEDS HIM!!! SHE CANT MAKE HER OWN LIGHT!!!

“We could have had anything, anything else / instead, you hoarded all that’s left of me” Yk cause he takes all that she has to give and she gets nothing back

“Swallowing’ your doubt / like swords to the pit of my belly / I want to feel that fire that you kept from” cause his words hurt, he doubts their relationship is real cause she’s “just a groupie” and those words HURT

-🌾anon

I think you meant billy but that's okay pookie lmao 💋💋💋 anyways I love this so fucking much and I discovered because someone put it on a playlist about conway and I was floored

he's so like, "I chose you, you're here because of me, but I can trade you out just as easily" and damn she acts all tough and venomous back but she's literally going home to sob in her pillows for days because all she wants is too feel like she is special in some way, that she's not replaceable, cared about, not just one of many options.

and she knows the cycle will repeat, exactly where each event will lead to but it's so mindlessly easy to fall right back into place, so she does.

the moon mourns for her because her longing to be fully appreciated by billy (her sun in this situation) isn't being reciprocated except like in his internalized thoughts.

she only had publicity, attention, fame, freedom from the life of her father, because she's with billy. she's young and exploring, he's opened all these new doors for her and given her attention that she craves. so suddenly other people see her too, but as billy would be quick to remind her, all that would be nothing without him.

and by the end of their relationship, the before the band ends and before he goes to rehab breakdown, she's just become so tired. so drained. she wants to be touched, loved, cared about, her emotional capabilities have been stolen away by billy.

his words are literally so venomous and he just keeps hammering them in when he's mad. until reader stops caring about most of his unfaithful shenanigans because he's told her so many times that she's just one of many, that she has no right to be upset. she internalizes the upset, tries to play the roles and fails time and time again. and then when he's in a good way, he's happy and he's suddenly basking her with love, reminding her that she's his girl and that makes her special, it's so confusing, but she's eating up every second of it she gets before it's gone.

which is also giving, "we made our peace with weariness and let it be"

#wanda 💋#billy dunne x reader angst #billy dunne angst #billy dunne x reader #billy dunne #djats x reader #🌾 anon

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the-spacetronaut · 1 year

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has mother or anyone ever found out about sonny's obsessions? I'm not just talking about the janitor I'm talking about any of them has he ever been found out?

luckily no!

sonny is very careful and it helps that hes mothers favorite bloom! mother knows about sonnys bad behavior but she doesnt bring attention to it unless its very bad! (causing a 3 way fight that sent him and monty to parts and services is considered "not too bad" so you can imagine what "very bad" is to her!)

everyone does talk about sonny's crushes but unless it comes from sonny's own mouth and words, mother doesnt believe it and only thinks he wants a friend.

the reason why sonny is so careful is because mother does a reset on the blooms if they start to gain too much sentience and independence. every bloom had a factory reset or soft reset. if its very bad, they get wiped to factory settings which wipes everything they learned by themselves! a lot of times, mother just goes into their head and pick out whatever she doesnt want them to remember!

raph has the most out of his siblings because he falls in love, argues about getting more freedom and privacy, gets reset. everytime he gets reset, he falls in love and the cycle repeats! mother found it easier to let him read romance novel because it distracts him and raises his standards! (she keeps him very far away from freddy because freddy is such a hunk that even mother acknowledges hes a good man!)

starri is the second one to get reset the most. when she used to have a voice, she would talk a lot and learn a lot! she will teach and show her siblings all the new things she learn! shes the most rebellious out of the nurses so she snuck out a lot but cant get far because of the hivemind! she was actually the first to severe her link to the hivemind for more freedom and privacy and it didnt end nicely. the fight mother and starri had shook the walls! this will always happen after a reset. everytime, she starts questioning mother about her and her siblings freedom, sense of self, and privacy. mother will reset her everytime. but now since starri lost her voice, she doesnt act out as much anymore. because she cant express herself for everyone to understand.

poppy is the third to be reset the most! thats because poppy is a special case, she doesnt demand privacy or freedom like raph or starri but she does have very very low self esteem and identity issues! it starts getting very bad everytime she finds out that her body is made of 2 scrapped nurse blooms and her bloom was suppose to be a poppy and not a peony (hence her name)! it causes her to spiral and ask too much questions. mother cant stand seeing her hurt so much and she cant give poppy an honest answer. its easier to make her forget. everyone in parts and services knows not to mention this around poppy. if the glamrocks find out, they just wipe it from their memory too. its not anything anyone needs to know because its not important!

hayden and celia dont get reset that much. hayden sometimes gets it more than celia because hes easily influenced and curious. he asks a lot of questions, most are harmless but some do scratch his brain. mother doesnt like answering those questions and she doesnt like saying no to her baby bloom. its easier to reset him. celia gets reset when she has a melt down over why mother favors sonny more. why mother bails sonny out the most. why mother loves sonny more than herself and the others. such an emotional out burst needs a reset before celia overheats and crashes.

sonny has been reset three times. the first two times he doesnt remember. the third time he does. he will never let that happen again.

#spacey answers #ms.janitor fanfic #ms.janitor spoilers

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wheelercore · 2 years

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Wheeler thoughts:

I think with Karen she struggles to square away 'the perfect family' as imagined by WASP society and the happy family that she wants. She wants to connect with her children but also gets in her own way often times - and often she just doesn't get to her kids fully. We've seen her hug Mike twice but do they talk? No, not really. She wants to connect with Ted, but he doesn't reciprocate unless theyre in public and he has a reason to keep up the image. She feels neglected by him, and that resentment obviously bleeds into the family dynamics.

Nancy being the perfect daughter that doesn't need to be watched or taken care of emotionally because most likely she's always played the part of the self sufficient child. But as we see in s1, Nancy doesn't believe anyone listens to her, well, because they don't. They don't feel like they need to. Nancy doesn't get in trouble, Nancy can take care of herself, Nancy gets good grades on her own and always follows the rules.

So when Nancy does get in trouble, when she screws up and feels like she had a part in her best friend's death- she's alone to deal with it. So she seeks comfort in the one person who was there for her the whole time and saw everything, mistakes and flaws and all: Jonathan. She breaks up with Steve, who only saw her how her parents saw her.

And the thing is? I feel like it's easy for a parent to make this mistake. Hell, it's what my parents did to me. It's coined as the Eldest Daughter Syndrome but what it really is is emotional neglect.

Mike suffers from the same thing, except stemming from a different source. While Nancy doesn't need to be "dealt with", it's made clear to Mike that dealing with him is troublesome. Mike acts out, he plagiarizes essays, he graffities the bathroom stalls, he's into "nerdy" hobbies, in s4 we see his grades are falling, etc. He needs to be constantly "dealt with" and scolded while it's made clear that dealing with him is a chore. He needs to be needled and nagged until he hopefully becomes the "perfect child" like Nancy, so they can just not have to deal with him ever.

This isnt abuse, but what it is is disciplinarian parenting. Nancy is neglected because she doesn't need to be disciplined and therefore doesnt need to have her needs attended to. Mike on the other hand needs to be constantly disciplined and therefore that's most of the interactions he has with his parents.

I feel like with Karen her arc relates to breaking out from this (most likely widely used at the time) style of parenting and having more positive interactions with her kids. You see it with Mike at the end of s4 when she hugs him and makes it clear that shes just very happy that he's home. Or when she notices Nancy is upset and actually goes to her to speak to her about it in S3.

Imo deep down Karen is upset by the fake distant nature of her family and genuinely wants there to be a connection between them.

With Ted, I think, interestingly enough it's a bit more complicated. We don't really know what his issue is and we don't really get into his character like we do with Karen. However, the effect of his character's behavior influences his family a lot and it almost seems a bit unbalanced given how one dimensional he is in turn. We see it in Karen's unhappiness at her position in life + her struggle with connecting to him, the repeated parallels between him and Mike + Mike's struggle with heteronormativity, Nancy also struggling with her romantic relationships as she never had a good relationship modeled to her- particularly what to find in a good male partner.

Really what defines his character is that he does the bare minimum based on what is expected of him from societal normals. He goes to work, puts food on the table, mows the lawn and does other "masculine" chores most likely- but he doesn't answer the door until Karen asks him to because that's not usually his responsibility as the man of the house. He ties Mike's ties, because that's what a father is supposed to do. He is physically present with Karen when they're in public (puts him arm around her) but in private he's withdrawn from her. It's a 'performance'.

But connecting with his children? Being present whether it's with his wife or his kids? Anything truly meaningful? He's simply not there. I find it particularly interesting in Henry's monologue about the problem with human society what he says describes Ted to a tee:

Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day.

(Imo a lot of the monologue is basically the writers themselves telling us what the show is about (conformity under the guide of normalcy) through a cleverly crafted villain who seeks to live outside of that cage).

It's intentional that many of the scenes we see of Ted (casually, not involved in the plot) hes doing one of the things listed: waking up, going to work, eating, sleeping (he's always fucking sleeping), reproducing. Performing as the father in this "play" that is the Wheeler family. And the finale is Nancy's vision- Ted isn't in it because he's not a present father to her. Again, she's the "perfect" child, and in this play of this "perfect" family, she doesn't need anything more.

The performance isnt real, it's all fake and there are the very real consequences.

(I have A LOT more to say about this but I'll stop here).

But while Karen is actively trying to make it less of a play and more of a family, Ted doesn't seem to be trying very much to change anything for whatever reason.

#mike wheeler #ted wheeler #karen wheeler #nancy wheeler #wheeler feels #stranger things

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neomedievalist · 2 years

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as someone who hasnt experienced fate route yet it is really astonishing just how similar shirou and saber are. this is just going to be a general post of my thoughts so far with just random comments not really a thesis or anything, i have many thoughts of running themes to analyze that i want to do justice once ive finished the whole thing, so look forward to that.

ive said before the interpersonal conflict in fate is one of my favourite things about it. it is so incredibly realistic and emotionally moving every time even when its insignificant. every time characters argue you see where theyre coming from and what made them think that way and how theyre projecting and assuming things about the other. every single time anyone in fate says anything they are saying that because of 10 years of built up regrets and trauma and projection and avoidance and assumptions and it just leads to the biggest interpersonal mess in existence and i love it. one thing that is excruciatingly clear in fate route is shirou's hypocrisy. from his forced sexism (i'll probably make a whole post analysing this, which is probably really funny to someone who doesnt know fate, but i genuinely find it fascinating) to his whole ordeal of trying to protect saber. no one can have a satsifying argument with shirou because they refuse to believe he truly is that fucked up inside, and he never accepts what they say because he doesn't think he's capable of change. on the other hand, saber is in a similar position. i'm so glad i finished watching zero before this because WOW. you can see kiritsugu in her every action and how she overlays the image of him over shirou in every instance and is both pleasantly surprised and deeply disturbed with what he became...

saber saying this trying to make sense of his actions psychologically but also push the spectre of kiritsugu on him but also projecting her own regrets about the way the 4th grail war ended but also her own desire to see that never repeated again because of HER guilt over HER actions and her frustration at kiritsugu and not being able to tell him about it and then shirou in response hits us with THIS WHAMMY

and naturally. saber does not know how to react to that.

no one likes to hear "you are irreparably fucked up!" the thing is is that the wording really. i couldnt help but be reminded of

i find this so fascinating. the two characters who've done the deepest digs at shirou's character and saw through him the most were the ones that knew kiritsugu personally. not only that, but the ones that were directly present at the grail fire that shapes his entire being.

this bit was so fascinating to me. of course this gets resolved with the threesome, lol, but shirous conflict over having saber kill someone is so. this is the first time you can really see him disregard kiritsugu's utilitarianism. he doesnt even consider it or weigh the lives, its literally not an equation that goes off in his brain. he does not work like that but hes still forcing himself to fit in a mold that was not made for him. it goes without saying that kiritsugu would not have hesitated to make saber kill someone to restore her mana, as she is just a tool to be used first of all, and a tool must be in top working order, but also all deaths are insignificant when weighed against the lives saved by him winning the grail. saber KNOWS this and she is CONSTANTLY thinking about this while weighing shirous motives

weigh that against this. he says similar things all the way through the story but this one is astonishingly blatant. he is still weighing the cost of lives in his head but the scales are always tipped to make himself insignificant as if that would mean atoning somehow or making things right. ill get into this much later when i end up finishing reading ubw lol i have so fucking much to say about his self sacrificial tendencies and how he views himself and his body and the disconnect...

anyway this is just a fraction of what i read today ill make an effort to post more of my thoughts and im sure ill have plenty more once ubw starts

#data #fateposting

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erodasfishtacos · 3 years

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Cheating!h blurb where ana asks why they dont have sex or at a party and she’s trying to pull him into a room and y/n watching him try to make excuses and then next time having sex with y/n he says anna keeps trying and she has the pride he doesnt give in... or something exploring that situation

warnings: smut, cheating, angst

“Anna, I just-“ Harry huffs as she tugs him into a spare bedroom of the party after he had put up a valiant fight to keep them in the main area.

Her hands are unbuttoning his already barely buttoned shirt, running down his bare skin, and he is cut off by a sloppy kiss to his mouth.

Fear shoots up through him, it’s not YN, he doesn’t want this with her.

“C’mon, it’s been almost six months and you still haven’t touched me. Just fuck me,” Anna complains, fed up with the lack of or more like nonexsistence of their sex life.

It was near impossible to believe, someone like Harry who oozed sex out of every pore of his body wasn’t sexually active or interested in fucking his girlfriend.

When Anna takes a different approach of going for his belt buckle, mouth trailing against his collarbone, and attempting to get to his groin - which hadn’t hardened in the slightest.

“Enough,” Harry states firmly, grasping her wrists lightly and making her look at him, “I don’t want to have sex right now, okay?”

His girlfriend’s face falters, “You never want to.”

“If you don’t like it break up with me,” He hisses, knowing YN is going to get suspicious the longer they’re in a room together.

Anna, who really did have a kind heart, frowns, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything. I would never force you to.”

Harry just rebuttons his shirt, “S’fine. Let’s just get back to the party and have a good time, yeah?”

She nods as Harry swings his arm around her shoulder, unlocking the door, and pausing when he sees YN a bit of the ways down the corridor - staring at the two leaving the bedroom.

“I’m going to get a drink,” He dismisses bluntly, his focus set on the girl who was visible angry with him in the kitchen.

Before he can get out a word, she steps forward and swipes her thumb against his collarbone.

It comes back with the waxy substance of Anna’s bright mauve lipstick.

“Have fun in there, did you?” YN asks, she tries to keep her tone cool and unbothered by Harry sees right through it to the insecurity.

“You know I didn’t,” He replies between gritted teeth, how could she get jealous when this was all her?

He didn’t want a girlfriend.

Well he did but he only want her and she fucking knew that.

“If you wanted me to believe you, maybe you would have wiped her lipstick marks from your neck and chest,” She chuckles and it makes Harry’s hair on the back of his neck stand up.

It was the distinct chuckle and tone she used when she was upset but wasn’t going to admit it over her dead body.

Before he can call her out, she shoulders past him, disappearing into the dancing crowd of people and out of his side.

“Fuck,” He mutters, running a hand through his hair before trudging off to find Niall and Zayn - to distract himself.

“Stay the night, please?” Anna asks softly when Harry pulls up to her small, quaint little house that fit her perfectly.

“M’sorry. I have a long day tomorrow.”

It was a lie. It was rarer that he told the truth to his girlfriend than fibbing.

“So? Let’s cuddle, do something,” She begs, frustrated with her emotionally and sometimes physically distant boyfriend.

Harry shakes his head, “Maybe next weekend.”

He always said that.

It never happened.

—

As soon as he drops off Anna, his next stop is a route that is ingrained in his head front and backwards, her apartment.

He has a key, doesn’t bother knocking and just barges into the dimly lit house with her shoes tossed clumsily on the floor - almost trips.

When he finds her, she’s in a towel - freshly showered, and brushing through her hair in her small walk-in closet.

She heard him come in, knew he was storming in here, and still didn’t turn around when he slammed open her bedroom door.

He’s crowding behind her, knocking the brush out of her hand, and pinning her to the wall, “You’re so bloody ridiculous. You jealous little brat.”

YN doesn’t respond, her body still wound tight with tension and a gluttonous feeling of rage for earlier in the night.

“Been fuckin’ you and only you since I was seventeen. Y’know that I didn’t fuck her, didn’t even touch her and you still have the nerve to act like a crybaby,” Harry seethes, his whole chest pressed against her back, no room to escape.

“Her lipstick was all over you,” She argues back weakly when his hands come to the knot in her towel, teasing at unraveling.

“Yeah because she was begging me to fuck her and I said ‘no’ so she tried to get in my pants and I pushed her off.”

“Why?” YN murmurs, quiet in the small space.

“You fuckin’ know why,” Harry growls with his teeth grazing across her bare shoulder blade.

“Say it.”

“I pushed her off ‘cause you’re the only person I’ve fucked since I was seventeen. My cock is yours,” He rasps, untying the knot and letting the towel drop.

He wishes she would just end all this bullshit.

Let him have her fully and completely but she was so fucking afraid of getting hurt when it wouldn’t happen.

“Go on, tell me who owns this cunt,” Harry demands, hand tucking between her thick thighs to cup her puffy mound in his hand.

“H,” She whimpers as his finger lightly slides up the wet groove of her center with a careful drag.

When she doesn’t give him the answer he wants, he gives her clit a hard pinch, “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Yours, fuck - it’s yours,” YN huffs at the slight but welcome pain on her nerves - relaxing when it returns to soft strokes.

“Anna is pretty, y’know? Had her on me, kissing my neck, unbuttoning my shirt and shit,” Harry hums against her ear, two fingers sinking into the tight heat of her body.

He continues, “Didn’t even get hard when that happened. That’s how fucking trained I am for you. What a tight fucking leash you have me on.”

YN turns a bit into putty at his words, insecurity slow flooding out of her body, and feeling more like how she usually does.

“How do y’ever forget? How much I love you?” He asks in true disbelief, it literally oozes through his pores how much he adores his high school sweetheart.

“Don’t-“ She squeaks desperately.

“Why won’t you let me tell you how much I love you, baby?”

His voice like dark, sweet honey that seeps into her every nerve-ending and makes her feel lethargic, in a boneless silky way.

“Stop plea- Just touch me,” YN begs when his fingers crook into against her plushy, tight walls with focused strokes.

“You need to admit it, y’stubborn little thing. I know how in love you are with me,” Harry pushes, needing to hear validation from his favorite person on this earth.

He squats down, spreading her cheeks, and leaning in to lick from the top of clit all the way back to her other entrance.

His large palms keeping her apart, digging into the thick skin until his fingers are white - tongue finding her core and darting in to her most sensitive area.

“H, oh my god,” YN moans, head falling forward against the wall, pushing her hips backward into his mouth.

“Darling, c’mon. Show me how sweet y’can be f’me,” Harry goads encouragingly, it always took a little bit of effort to get her to break.

“I love you….s’much,” She whispers, voice cracking on the last syllable as he rewards her with a suckling kiss to her clit and slips his fingers back in.

“I know y’do, baby. You know I’d never give it to anyone but you,” Harry coos, anything to get her to soften her harsh edges, chip away at her stone wall.

Her hand reaches behind to weave through his hair, her stomach sucking in harshly as she feels her tight band snap as she releases.

“O-oh, you’re mine. Y’mine,” His love chants as she rides out her intense wave of her orgasm as he helps her through it.

“M’yours,” Harry agrees immediately, standing up and a smile breaks on his face when she turns around and wraps him into a hug.

“I love you. I know you didn’t touch her. I just hate it,” YN murmurs softly, undoing his shirt and sliding it off of his shoulders.

His smile fades at her words, “Then make it stop. The minute you tell me you’re ready to make this work, I’ll break up with her.”

“I’m no-not ready,” She stammers, eyes widening like a deer in headlights at his words.

So afraid. So fucking scared.

“Okay, okay,” He soothes when he sees her chest start to rise faster and faster with anxiety.

He doesn’t want to drop it.

He wants to shake her and ask her how the fuck she doesn’t see that they’re already in a relationship and she’s being blinded by irrational fears.

Harry waddles them over to her messy bed, pushing her back and adjusting until she’s in the center - staring at him with doe eyes.

He loves her so much it hurts to look at her for too long.

When he tugs off his jeans, taking his phone out to put on the side table - he sees an unread text from Anna.

I’m sorry about earlier. I really want to make it work with you. You’re a great guy x

Harry should feel bad. Maybe his stomach should have dropped or something at how awful he’s being to that girl.

But when his love is splayed out, pliant and malleable for him, he can’t find an ounce of fucks to give as he tosses it on the bedside table.

He had been in love with this girl since he was sixteen, never fell out of it, he was addicted to her - willing to go through all this bullshit if it meant he had her.

It always felt like the first time, crawling on top of her, and bending down to pull her puffy lips into a strong kiss as he slides in, always a pleasant stretch.

As they move together, in a familiar rhythm, she murmurs against his lips, “One day, I’ll be ready.”

“Please, make it soon, darlin’,” Harry pleas, swallowing harshly before pushing his emotions into hard, deep thrusts.

#cheating!harry masterlist #cheating!harry #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles x yn #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fic rec #harry styles masterlist #harry styles #Harry styles smut #Harry styles angst #Harry styles au #cheating!Harry blurb #blurb

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100gecstree2 · 2 years

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before i start ranting i need to preface-

I respect Dana for her accurate depictions of abuse from a parent/guardian in the owl house, she did what she could and honestly i think its enough for what it is. This is just a grievance i have regarding the depictions of parental/guardian abuse with Amity and Hunter.

Something that bothered me when i watched escaping expulsion and any sport in a storm was the way amity and hunter were expected to act in regards to their abuser. My abuser shares a lot of similarities with both odalia and belos, i dont hate these characters for it, contrary i really like how they have been handled so far. theyre good characters in the sense that they are accurate (as much as they can be in a kids show) to what abuse from a parental guardian can be like. Now because i am and have been in similar situations such as hunter and amity i found it really easy to relate to both of them in this aspect of their backgrounds. However the thing in question that bothered me was how both amity and hunter are seen to only progress in their respective character arcs AFTER they stand up to their abuser.

Ill start with hunter first because his is more important to me for varying reasons. to be clear darius is NOT an abuser to hunter. he seems to be the opposite, however we don't really know this while watching this episode. Neither does hunter. to hunter, darius is another connection to his actual abuser, someone who can and will tattle on him. someone who as we've seen is prone to fits of anger or atleast seems to be. during this episode hunter is insecure about his standing as the golden guard, to which darius tells him to recruit more scouts. so hunter does as instructed. (i know it wasn't an order, rather a passing comment, but those things can mean a lot to someone like hunter especially in the position, aka after disappointing belos twice in a row.) Im not going to recite the whole thing because this isnt an argument against the portrayal of hunter or amity WHICH IM REPEATING AGAIN because i dont want anyone to think thats my point. anyways, at the end hunter sees that turning in his friends in to darius was the wrong move. He stops darius fully expecting darius to hit or otherwise punish him. darius however does the opposite, proud of hunters actions telling him he did the right thing. this moment is where i start to feel uncomfortable. dont get me wrong i love darius and i love the bond that him and hunter are forming, i love that hunter has someone for him. the part that is iffy to me is the expectance of hunter from both darius and the hexside students to fight back in order to be a redeemable person. fighting back and standing ground against your abuser is hard and i hate the idea that you're not thought of as a good person if you do something out of fear of your abuser without trying to fight back. Im aware that if this was belos instead of darius things might have been drastically different, but hunter doesnt know that darius would be forgiving, to hunter in this moment, darius is an extension of belos, someone who works for him, especially when he raises his fist and makes it seem that hes going to hurt hunter. again im not saying theres anything wrong with how this episode went nor is there nothing wrong with hunter fighting back. this is just something personal to me- that i have yet to see a character in media who isnt demonized (im not at ALL saying that hunter is) because theyre too afraid of their abuser to fight back, a character who can still be redeemable and a good person regardless of whether not they're free of their abuser yet.

with amity this was handled a bit better (in my eyes). after odalia expels willow gus and luz, they arent mad at amity. They don't show any bitterness to her and luz is understanding of the situation that amity is in. whereas in hunter's case, willow and the other flyer derby members would have most likely stayed upset with hunter, hell, they even are suspicious of him during labyrinth runners. i am aware that the defining difference is that willow and the flyer derby team dont know what hunter is going through. I suppose its just a hard pill to swallow for me personally. amity fighting back against odalia was strange, on one hand, she wasnt judged harshly for not interfereing, on the other hand, unlike hunter who's fighting against an extension of his abuser, amity is protesting against her actual abuser. making the situation a lot scarier in her eyes. alador while not a star father, really is her saving grace here. he calms odalia down and at the very least forces her to take back her previous punishment to amity.

Im not entirely sure what i was trying to prove with any of this. I like amity and i like hunter. Im happy that theres more awareness around abuse coming from parental figures especially in something like a kids cartoon. I spent a long time thinking what i went through was normal, god knows if i watched toh as a kid i wouldve recognized the signs sooner. This was just me complaining about a trope i suppose. If you read all of this, thank you, a lot, i mean it. if you want to add something to this, feel free to. i'd rather not argue about this because there is nothing to argue about really, im not putting either of these episodes/character arcs down in any way. these are just my two cents on the 'abused character must fight back to their abuser in order to be seen as willing to change or redeemable. because as someone who's been learning to change while unfortunately still living and fearing my abuser, id hate if someone disregarded my growth as a person simply because the effects of my trauma wouldnt allow me to fight back.

#the owl house #hunter toh #amity blight #tw abuse #odalia blight #emperor belos #long post #rant #im sorry if any of this repeats itself i wrote this all in one go because i was really frustated

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plan-d-to-i · 3 years

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(google translate again, yeah)

(I forgot to thank you for the last answer, I really didn't know that the drama used the music of my compatriot, it was a pleasant surprise for me)

I don't know if anyone has asked you this before, but do you think JC was good with WWX as a kid?

I mean not just their childhood, but the time of their training in Gusu.

I really love JC, and I understand perfectly well that he is the most dick in character, but I love him precisely during my studies at Gusu, I can not give any arguments that then JC was directly GOOD to WWX, but he is clearly cared a little about him and even ... worried? at least that moment after the punishment where JC helped WWX get to the room...

Yay - I'm so happy to hear about Stravinsky :)

Hahah loving jc as the dick that he is is the way to do it! go for it. :) also, sorry this was so delayed I wanted to reread the Cloud Recesses arc so it would be fresh in my mind before answering.

In terms of jc the Cloud Recesses arc is perhaps the most 'mellow' we see him aside from the Lotus Pod Extra but for me it's still impossible to find him a worthwhile person. I can already see the faults in his character that I know will only get worse as he grows older. Canonically I don't see how he would have any friends studying in the Cloud Recesses if he didn't come as a package deal w Wei Wuxian. I mean I doubt jiang cheng would have any friends without WWX period. In fact jiang cheng doesn't make any friends over the course of 13 years. He's also unable to find a wife bc of his temperament and behavior...

What we can glean about their relationship in the Cloud Recesses arc (and even the Lotus Pod Extra) is that any time WWX gets a kind word or understanding from someone, jiang cheng scoffs at it. Any time someone shits on WWX, jc is there to agree, to relish the idea of WWX being punished, and shit on him some more. He would be an immensely exhausting person to be around. He doesnt believe in WWX's ideas and ingenuity, (as NHS does for example), he doesn't believe WWX is hurt, he always assumes the worst of him, he doesn't believe LWJ might like WWX. The only thing he ever seems to believe is that WWX will dishonor YunmengJiang and that WWX should be punished. So for a kid who supposedly wants his father's approval so badly he instead constantly acts like his mother's mouthpiece/minion. He reprimands WWX like he's trying to become Madam Yu 2.0. I see jc stans all the time being like oh he had to keep WWX in check bc WWX was such a lOOooose canon, for the good of the Clan!! lol listen JFM didn't give a f...about WWX's behavior (in his letter to LQR) why are you so concerned? JFM would have preferred for jc to try & save his peers in the Xuanwu cave or at least to understand why that was the correct course of action rather than for him to just sit in front of the class in the Cloud Recesses and tell WWX off for giving LQR as good as he got, while actually still breaking the rules himself but eschewing punishment.

salt up here, quotes below :

Even when Nie Huaisang picks up on the fact that WWX is being treated unfairly by LQR, jc dismisses it and piles on WWX instead.

Nie Huaisang said, “Old Man Lan really seems like he’s coming down especially harshly on you. Every time he reprimands someone, it’s always you.” Jiang Cheng grunted. “He deserves it. What kind of answer was that? He can get away with saying that sort of nonsense at home, but he had the nerve to say it to Lan Qiren’s face. He was practically asking for the old man to kill him!”

But does WWX get away with ANYTHING in Lotus Pier? When we know he is punished constantly for EVERYTHING? This is jiang cheng fully being his mother's mouth piece. It's not something WWX would get away with, it's something jc knows JFM wouldn't mind. Which is why he's so pissed off. Which begs the question if JFM would not be upset with WWX's behavior why does jc need to criticize him? Again :

A dark expression shadowed Jiang Cheng’s face, and his voice was filled with anger. “Why are you so proud of yourself? What is there to be proud of?! Is being told to get out some amazing accomplishment? You’re making our entire clan lose face!”

and his glee at the idea that WWX will be punished leaves a bad taste in one's mouth considering how WWX was perpetually punished in Lotus Pier by jiang cheng's mother for... existing.

Jiang Cheng smiled grimly. “Now that you’ve thoroughly offended both Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, you’re basically dead tomorrow. No one’s going to clean up your corpse either.”

and again

Without the old one, only the young one remained. This would be easy to deal with! Wei Wuxian rolled off the bed and laughed while putting on his boots. “Heaven’s charmed clouds are blessing me with shade.” Jiang Cheng was beside him polishing his sword with loving care when he decided to spill cold water over Wei Wuxian’s head. “Just wait until he gets back. You can’t escape punishment.”

Where others like NHS see value in WWX's thoughts

Nie Huaisang thought for a while. “Actually, I thought what you said was very interesting,” he said, not entirely able to hide his envy and yearning.

jc is always dismissive of WWX's ideas. These are inventions that WWX realizes. Demonic cultivation in the first conversation and The Spirit-Attraction Flag and The Compass of Evil in the second:

“Enough,” Jiang Cheng warned. “Whatever nonsense you spout, you better not head down that sort of dark road.”

Changing the topic, Wei Wuxian said, “If only there was something like fishing bait that could draw the water ghosts in. Or, something that could point in the direction they’re hiding, like a compass, that sort of thing.”

“Lower your head and watch the water,” Jiang Cheng said. “You’re letting your fantasies run wild again. Concentrate on looking for water ghosts like you’re supposed to.”

“Hey, mounting swords and flying was also only a fantasy once!” Wei Wuxian said.

He's also a hypocrite. Because even though he berates WWX for misbehaving, he himself breaks the rules. He drinks, he even goads WWX into buying liquor, the only difference is that he doesn't get punished for it, and he doesn't feel like coming forward and getting punished for it :

Naturally, Jiang Cheng was too embarrassed to talk about what Wei Wuxian had been up to. After all, all of them had egged him on to go and buy alcohol, and they all deserved to be punished as well. He could only speak vaguely. “It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not that bad! He can walk. Wei Wuxian, why haven’t you gotten off yet?”

It's no wonder WWX is so impressed by LWJ's integrity in spite of his social status, when he's clearly used to the other dynamic :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

A dynamic which is shown repeating in the Lotus Pod Extra where WWX is the only one to get punished for sunbathing, and which repeats here when Wei Wuxian here stops jiang cheng from confronting Zixuan over YanLi's honor (and jc's) and does it himself.

Zixuan :“Why don’t you ask what about her could make me satisfied?” he said in return.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng rose. Wei Wuxian pushed him away and stepped between them, smiling coldly. “You think you’re very satisfactory? As though you have the right to be so picky!”

Zixuan: “If she’s unhappy, then let her break off the engagement! I certainly don’t cherish your wonderful disciple-sister. If you cherish her so much, why don’t you take it up with your father? Doesn’t he love you more than his own son?”

After hearing the last sentence, Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Wei Wuxian was no longer able to contain his own fury. He flew at Jin Zixuan, his fist raised.

WWX takes the punishment alone. Same way he offers to do when he hurts himself falling from a tree because jc threatened him with dogs. meanwhile jc is gleeful to see him being punished.

[Wei Wuxian] was kneeling on the stretch of pebble road to which Lan Qiren had assigned him when Jiang Cheng walked over from afar and mocked him. “You’re kneeling so obediently.”

“It’s not like you don’t know I have to do this all the time.” Wei Wuxian’s voice filled with schadenfreude. “But this Jin Zixuan guy, there’s no way he hasn’t been pampered and spoiled rotten since birth. No one’s ever forced him to kneel, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t wind up crying for mommy and daddy today, I’m not named Wei.”....

Wei Wuxian "...It’s a good thing you didn’t do anything.”

“I was going to. If you hadn’t pushed me away, the other side of Jin Zixuan’s face would be hideous too.”

“Stop it. His face is uglier for being lopsided."

WWX is happy to have spared jc from getting into trouble but jc makes the whole thing about himself anyway (like everything else ever) and is upset JFM would rush over for WWX - in his mind. Even though JFM clearly had to rush over to meet with Jin Guangshan not to coddle WWX in any way.

"Jiang Fengmian had never rushed to another clan in less than a day because of him. Regardless of whether what happened was big or small, or good or bad." Never

WWX on the other hand tries to be observant of jc's feelings and reassure him & distract him from his moods :

When Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng’s melancholy expression, he thought he was still upset with what Jin Zixuan said. “You should leave. You don’t need to keep me company any longer. If Lan Wangji comes again, he’ll catch you. If you have time, you should find Jin Zixuan and watch his pitiful kneeling.”

Later in the book after nearly dying in the Xuanwu cave WWX leaves his sick bed to run after jc and comfort him after his mother's rant, even though WWX had to listen to his parents (and himself) being slandered by YZY. jc doesn't spare any thoughts for how other people might be feeling or suffering. His entire perception of the world is centered around himself. To him even WWX's greatest fear doesn't generate empathy, only amusement or later on a form of torture.

From that point onward, they made trouble everywhere together, and if they encountered a dog, Jiang Cheng would always chase it away for him, then enjoy a peal of derisive, unbridled laughter at Wei Wuxian’s expense beneath whichever tree the boy had leapt atop.

he grew up on the streets, often having to fight for food with vicious dogs. After several bites and chases, he gradually became extremely scared of all dogs, no matter the size. Jiang Cheng laughed at him because of this quite a lot of times.

This brings me to the last point. jc's resentment of WWX's interest in Lan Zhan, or in a serious friendship outside of him. I see so many ppl say that bc WWX fought he was kicked out of the Cloud Recesses early... but was he?

Jiang Cheng was somewhat taken aback. “Lan Wangji? What was he doing here? He still has the nerve to come see you again?”

“Yeah, I think his bravery is laudable if he still has the nerve to come see me. His uncle probably told him to check on me and see if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng’s instincts were sending him ominous signals. “So were you kneeling properly?”

“I was then,” Wei Wuxian replied. “But I waited for him to walk away a bit, then took a tree branch, lowered my head, and dug out a hole in the dirt near me. It’s the pile right by your foot—there are ant tunnels there. It took me so much effort to find them. Anyway, I waited for him to turn back and see my shoulders shaking. He had to have thought I was crying, so he came back and asked. You should have seen his face when he caught sight of the ant tunnels!

“…” Jiang Cheng said, “Why don’t you just get the hell out and go back to Yunmeng? I bet he never wants to see you again.”

Thus, that evening, Wei Wuxian packed up his things, got the hell out, and went back to Yunmeng with Jiang Fengmian.

Repeatedly throught his stay in the Cloud Recesses even while NHS was observing that LWJ's behavior around WWX was strange and unique, jc was telling WWX he is hated and bothersome. When WWX wanted to apologize to LWJ jc is completely dismissive of it :

“He hates me already? I was thinking of apologizing to him,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Oh, so you want to apologize now? It’s too late!” Jiang Cheng said derisively. “He’s exactly like his uncle. He thinks you’ve been wicked ever since you were an embryo, so it’s beneath his dignity to pay you any attention.”

Later on when WWX mentioned wanting to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc categorically says no.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

BONUS

jc also always doubts WWX. He suspects him immediately of wrongdoings. He doesn't believe that getting hit with the discipline ruler in Cloud Recesses actually hurt him until LXC confirms that WWX might take more than a few days to heal. He doesn't understand WWX is in actual trouble from the Waterborne abyss and assumes he's fooling around luckily Lan Zhan is there to rescue him:

The disciple’s lower body had already been swallowed by the black whirlpool. It spun faster and faster, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper, as though something hidden beneath the water was pulling down on his legs.

Mounted on Sandu, Jiang Cheng had risen calmly until he was about sixty meters above the whirlpool before he looked down. Filled with displeasure at what he saw, he shouted and dove down. “What are you up to now?!”

The suction force inside Lake Biling grew ever stronger. Wei Wuxian’s sword was optimized for agility, and consequently, its strength happened to fall just short, and they were nearly pulled to the surface of the lake. Wei Wuxian steadied himself and held on to Su She with both hands.

“Someone help! If I can’t pull him up soon, I’ll have to let go!” he shouted.

Suddenly, the back of Wei Wuxian’s collar tightened, and his body was lifted into the air. He twisted his neck and saw Lan Wangji holding him up with one hand.

He maintains this same mindset when he tries to whip LWJ and WWX as they're attempting to leave Lotus Pier after the ancestral hall confrontation when WWX passes out.

Is jc evil in the Cloud Recesses ? No. He's just an annoying, basic, disagreeable asshole who doesn't bring anything positive to someone like WWX. People like jc become obsessed with kind, outgoing, generous people, people who don't set boundaries on what they give and what others take in their friendships. Even though they're dependent on them for their social interactions, because who else would socialize with them willingly, they resent them in equal measure, but at the same time they wouldn't be drawn to another selfish, self centered piece of shit person like themselves.

On a personal note, even Cloud Recesses jiang cheng is someone I would exclude from any personal friend group. Friendship with him is adding a minefield of jealousies and snide comments to every interaction. Things that then others will need to compensate around because he won't compromise or empathize w issues outside of his own concerns.

Translation source : x

#This is long af because I wanted to have one post where I included everything #I’ve bitched about jc’s behavior in the cloud recesses for a long time so it was time to put down the quotes #mdzs #Cloud Recesses #Lan Wangji #Wei Wuxian #Nie Huaisang #jiang cheng

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hnnyoongs · 3 years

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Any parallels or similarities you find in eremika and obikaka? I’m interested to hear your takes.

unlike obikaka, eremika isn't in my top two for it’s show (sasusaku, obikaka, erejean, aruani) however eremika is still a favorite of mine similarities and parallels alright there’s a bunch now that I think about it

eren and obito ... were genocidal maniacs who genuinely believed they were doing the right thing and they dd these things partially for themselves but also for their loved ones they had no qualms of killing innocents but at the same time had a plan for people to be brought back to life/from being titans and that they ensured they would die

now eren thought armin was going to be the one to kill him and obito thought he’d be the one to kill himself with rinne rebirth or whatever it’s called but in actuality Mikasa kill eren and Kaguya killed obito HOWEVER the only other person who came close to killing obito was KAKASHI and he would have had Minato not stopped him had naruto taken the tone of aot kakashi for sure would have ended Obito’s life

in personality eren and obito have similar temper issues the crybaby I wanna do this unattainable goal personality they weren’t really skilled at anything but they always wanted to be the best they were reckless and as children hated seeing anyone left behind anyone they valued human life very much

mikasa and Kakashi are actually very similar yes yes adult kakashi reads porn and is lazy as fuck unless its the battlefield but why is he like this? because of obits death. and it’s not just oh he decided to become a better person no he modeled his new personality from obito Mikasa doesn’t do this but she too changes after eren saves her of course trauma changed her from a sweet happy girl to the Mikasa we know but more than that Kakashi’s loss of obito and Mikasa’s saving by eren fundamentally change their personality and outlook on life

EM antis will say that Mikasa’s life revolves around Eren which in some ways yes a lot of the things she dos has to do with Eren because he’s her precious person and she wants to keep him safe she doesnt want to loose someone again but you know no one ever points this out Kakashi’s personality also revolves around obito due to obito being “dead” no one calls it out but everything he does the way he talks the way he fights the way he treats people is all connected to obito

kakashi calls obito his “eiyuu” his hero and for Mikasa eren is the very same as obito saved kakashi from being crushed dead eren saved Mikasa from being sold off and we also see in these instances that obito and eren are willing to kill for people who they barely know/seem to dislike I know team Minato was in a war but obito had parallels to naruto and 13 year old naruto refused to kill anyone even if they had hurt his precious people eren well... dude has always been a little unhinged but so has obito it just didnt seem that way because being unhinged was the normal for Ninja if u were sane u clearly shouldn't be a child solider for hire in a military dictatorship

also just angst yea that's a similarity angst cuz like Mikasa and kakashi will never get to be happy with their loved ones because eren and obito are dead had they been alive they would have been executed due to committing literal genocide kakashi has no body to bury and Mikasa only has a head they cant have a grave with their names on it and yea yea obito might still be on the memorial stone in boruto but u really think anyone outside of team 7 would be alright with the man who started the 4th shinobi war being honored among the people he killed?

people will hate them rightfully so because they did terrible things but for Mikasa and kakashi it’ll be devastating because they love eren and obito so much but other than armin and naruto you wont find anyone else who seems to accept that they feel such a way (tho I wanna believe my favs jean and sakura would be ok with it cuz jean has always been soft on Mikasa and eren while sakura would understand the feeling of liking someone who did bad things but regretted it but that doesnt take away said bad things)

theres a lot more but I feel like im honestly just repeating the same things sooooo if I were to parallel obikaka with a ship it would be bakudeku from bnha or sasusaku (ik ik people are gonna be like but it’s more like sasunaru and to that I say naruto never saw sasuke as a criminal and he always wanted to save him while sakura tried but couldn't cuz she loved him so much and that's very much like Kakashi’s feelings toward obito no hate towards sasunaru tho I ship it I just like sasusaku and sasunarusaku better)

phew this is long sorry anon

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