#all the sakura doodles I did was all !!!!! in practice for this !!!!!!

[evanescentsun]

aaaaaahhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH

[aparticularbandit]

Of An Endless Infinity: Technical Memory (I)

Summary: What does it mean to be the Ultimate Hope?

Is it only hope on the big scale?  That the world is not so dark and depressing and destructive as the villain in front of you says it is?  That you can win, even when everything else says that you can’t?  That maybe it is better to live your life, even afraid, than it is to keep yourself sequestered away, alone?

Does it not also mean hope on the small scale?

Or: Makoto sacrifices himself in the hope that the other survivors might be able to help Junko. It remains to be seen whether this will actually succeed.

Chapter Rating: T. Fic Rating: M for Danganronpa reasons.

AO3

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MEMORY UNLOCKED.

CONTINUE?

YES | NO

Memory #004 Found.

Password: ************

Memory #004 Unlocked.

Memory Downloading….

Between The Tragedies.

Kyoko stands outside of Junko’s dorm.  A whiteboard hangs on its door, scrawled with all sorts of notes from their classmates (one reads Junko, curbstomb assholes for me!, likely a reference to the video that’s been going around of her saving some other student from clear harassment) and a few idle doodles (one of them a cute little teddy bear of sorts with stitching down the middle of his face like a scar).  She scans it for a few minutes, uncertain.  Her face falls.  She bites her lower lip.  Then she reaches up one gloved hand to knock.

For a moment, everything grows quiet.

It’s funny, how she didn’t notice the sounds of idle chatter coming from inside her dorm until they’d disappeared.  She can imagine it, how each of the regulars look among themselves, one to the other to the other and so on, until their faces become a perfect expression of brow-furrowed confusion.  Her arms cross in front of her, tight.  She feels—

The door pops open, and Junko flashes her a bright, pleased grin.  “Kyoko!  You came!”  She wraps her arms around Kyoko’s neck and pulls her into a tight hug.

Around her, Kyoko can see the expressions of the other girls: Toko, averting her gaze entirely; Aoi, with a look of astonishment; Celeste, pretending as though nothing out of the ordinary is happening whatsoever; Sakura, with her eye focused on her but otherwise unimpressed; Sayaka, eyes wide open and cheeks tinged with embarrassment; and Mukuro, eyes narrowed, glaring at her.

She shouldn’t be here.

This was a bad decision.

She should—

Junko steps back from her and meets her eyes with the fondest smile.  “Thank you.”

Kyoko’s gaze drops.  She shuffles her feet.  “I said I would,” she murmurs so soft that only Junko should hear it.  Her gaze flicks back into her dorm again.  “But I do not believe the others—”

“Don’t worry about them.”  Junko squeezes her shoulder.  “You’re here for me.  Your best friend.  Right?”  She grins as she tugs Kyoko inside.  The door clicks shut behind them while Junko gestures to her with one hand.  “Everybody!  This is Kyoko!  She’s decided to join us for—”

“We know who she is.”  Celeste still doesn’t look up, instead lifting a cup of tea with a carefully practiced hand, her pinky sticking out straight as a knife.  “You don’t have to introduce her to us.”

“Yeah, I know.”  Junko plops down on her bed, hands behind her head.  “But she didn’t hang out with any of you losers—”

Kyoko’s face grows tight.  Hot.  “I do not believe that is a good assessment.  I simply did not believe I would belong at one of these…parties.”  She hesitates on the word.  Party is a weird term for a gathering of girls in one dorm room, but what else could it be called? Perhaps it would be better to call it what Sayaka did when she first invited them to her dorm – a sleepover – but she is unsure.

She also isn’t exactly telling the whole truth.

While it is true that a good part of her believed that she would not fit in at a sleepover such as this in a large group of the other girls such as this, an even greater part of her has been too focused on the case she was investigating to have time for such trivialities.  Of course, she’s had her expulsion threatened if she continues it, but that doesn’t mean the case doesn’t still take up her time, doesn’t mean she hasn’t still been investigating it as much as she can.  She hates the taste – the implication – of failure.  She is a Kirigiri; she will figure it out.

Sooner, rather than later.

“It’s not about belonging,” Sayaka says, interrupting Kyoko’s thoughts.  She offers her a smile, head tilting to one side.  “No one’s really good at these things.”

Celeste snorts.  “We keep Toko around.  I would say that you are an upgrade.”

Toko shoots her a look.  “H-h-hey!”  Her eyes narrow, and she turns to Kyoko.  “Sh-sh-she won’t even stay the whole time!  That’s w-w-weird, right?”

“I simply do not wish to sleep in the same room as a bunch of peasants.”  Celeste sips her tea and then sets it down on the desk in front of her.  “A woman such as me needs her beauty sleep.”

Junko groans, loud, more of a growl than a groan.  “Don’t talk to me about beauty sleep!”  She raises a hand and shakes it at the ceiling.  “Every single one of those stupid magazines asks about my beauty regimen and my sleep regimen.  I’m just answering the same questions over and over, and it’s so boring—”

“Shhh.”  Mukuro gently shifts her sister’s head into her lap and begins threading her fingers through her long hair.  “Settle.”

“No, it’s true.”  Sayaka leans back on one hand.  “Magazine interviewers really do just ask all of the same questions.  Who are you dating?  What’s your next album?  Is there a boy you like?”  She rolls her eyes.  “It’s exhausting.”

As they talk, Kyoko glances around the room again.  Half of them are already in comfort apparel: Junko in her Sweetie Pants, plain white but covered with colorful grids, and a black silk cutaway top that seems tied together just under her chest (and with lace at every edge); Sayaka in an overly large blue button-up shirt with striped shorts underneath; and Sakura and Aoi both in tank-tops and sweatpants – Sakura’s a plain dark blue and Aoi’s covered in a donut pattern.  The other half less so: Celeste still in the same gothic lolita outfit she seems to wear every day; Toko in a version of her uniform that doesn’t seem nearly as disheveled and that doesn’t seem to smell (perhaps she’d bathed for this occasion, which was nice of her); and Mukuro in what looks like half of a combat uniform, which can’t be comfortable, not that she would know.  And despite the fact that Kyoko hasn’t chosen to dress down yet, she doesn’t feel particularly comfortable grouping herself with the others who haven’t.

She still doesn’t feel comfortable grouping herself with any of them at all.

“Here.”  Sakura meets Kyoko’s eyes and gestures with her head over to where she sits with Aoi.

Kyoko considers.  She would much rather stay with Junko, who she knows well enough, than to sit with the others.  But Mukuro has never liked her; she didn’t need that last glare to know that, so sitting with Junko now is out of the question.  Besides, even if she’s here at Junko’s request as her friend, it would probably do her well to spend time with the others.  She doesn’t want to seem stand-offish.

…at least, not any more than she likely already does.

Aware that Junko’s gaze follows her (even when, perhaps, it shouldn’t; even when, perhaps, no one else’s would), Kyoko moves to the corner of the room where Aoi and Sakura are seated.  She rubs her arm once before slowly, carefully, sitting with them.  “Hello.”

“I know you’ve met us before, but I’m Sakura,” Sakura says.  Then she gestures to Aoi.  “And this is Hina.”

Kyoko blinks twice as she turns to Aoi.  “Hina?” she repeats.  “I thought your name was Aoi.”

“It is.”  Aoi’s cheeks puff with frustration, and she crosses her arms.  “But I don’t like the way it sounds!  All those vowels and everything.  And during swimming practice, Coach always calls us by our last name, and Asahina’s a mouthful, so I told everyone to just call me Hina.  It’s a lot easier, don’t you think?”  She smiles, an easy friendliness.  When Kyoko nods, she pulls out a cardboard box hidden behind her.  “Here,” she says, holding the box out for her and opening it just slightly.  “Want a donut?”

Kyoko hesitates.  There are a lot of options, and she doesn’t want anything that will stick to her gloves too terribly.  So she picks up a frosted one that seems to be filled with some sort of cream and takes a bite.

Hina’s eyes light up, and she turns to Sakura.  “See?  I told you she’d pick a frosted donut!”

Sakura raises an eyebrow.  “You also said she would pick one of these.”  She picks a normal frosted donut up from the box and rings it around her finger.  “That is not the same donut.”

“It’s close enough!”

Kyoko swallows a little too quickly and then swallows again, harder, to make sure the chunk of donut makes its way down her throat.  “You two were, um.”  She swallows a third time.  “You were betting on which one I’d pick?”

“We didn’t bet.”  Hina rolls her eyes.  “We just like to guess!  And I’m always right!”

Sakura bops the frosted donut on Hina’s nose.  “You were not right.”

“Close enough!”  Hina leans up and takes a bite out of the donut.

But Sakura ignores her.  Instead, she takes an unopened bottle of cold brew from next to her and hands it to Kyoko.  “Here.  This will help.”

Hina just chews thoughtfully, crossing her arms as she does.  “I mean,” she continues, not paying attention to the drink, “Junko takes a different donut every time, so I don’t know what her favorite is—”

“I know.”  Kyoko takes a sip of her coffee and sighs with contentment.  She settles in a little more comfortably then looks up and notes how Hina is staring at her with wide, excited eyes.  Then she blinks twice. “What?”

Hina grins, lips covered with frosted sugar.  “What is it?”

“Um.”

Before Kyoko can say anything, a pillow hits Hina full in the face, followed quickly by Junko’s voice: “That’s cheating!”

Hina grips the pillow in both hands and glares over Kyoko to where Junko now sits up on her bed. “It’s not!  You’re being mean!”

“You don’t have to know!”

“But Kyoko does!”  Hina throws the pillow back at Junko, who artfully dodges.

Kyoko reads the frustration on Hina’s face and then glances back to Junko, who seems to be enjoying herself.  It’s a joke.  This entire thing.  It’s just an elaborate joke.  She smiles and settles again before turning back to Hina.  “Do I?”

Hina’s face turns red.  “You said you did!”

“Did I?”  Kyoko raises one eyebrow.  Then she leans forward, that same smile creeping across her lips.  “I’ve never had a donut before,” she says.  Strictly speaking, this isn’t true, but it’s been so long since she had one that it might as well be.  The last time she had a donut, her father gave it to her.  The last time she—

404: Memory Not Found.

Rebooting.

3.

2.

1.

Kyoko meets Hina’s eyes.  “Do you think we should do a taste test?”

Hina’s eyes light up again.  A huge grin breaks across her lips.  “Yes!”  Her face falls, and her brow furrows.  “How have you never had a donut before?”  She shakes her head.  “Doesn’t matter!”  She reaches over, takes Kyoko’s gloved hands in hers, and seems not to notice her immediate discomfort.  “You are going to have the best time!”

“You should invite Junko to join you,” Sakura says.  She crosses her arms and leans back against the wall.  “I am quite sure she will reveal her favorite then.”

Hina’s grin brightens.  “Hey, Junko!”  She winks at Kyoko.  “I’ve got a great idea!”

~

Three hours, far too many donuts, and a burgeoning stomachache later, Kyoko feels significantly more comfortable with the group.  Celeste’s left with yet another comment about needing her beauty sleep and slipped through the door with a grin just as Junko shot her a look; Toko’s curled up on the floor in one corner of the room like a cat with her glasses resting on the nearest table; and Mukuro might still be glaring at her, but it feels like that’s just what she does, like she glares at everyone who isn’t Junko.  She even glared at the donuts before eating them.  That may just be her face.

It’s then, though, that Sayaka brings up boys again, and any feeling of warmth or comfort drains from Kyoko entirely.  Especially because Sayaka plops down next to her, turns directly to her, and asks, "So...who do you like?”

At first, Kyoko doesn’t even understand the question.  She blinks twice and says, innocent to Sayaka’s meaning, “Junko?  I guess?”  Then, seeing Sayaka’s face shift into one of shock, she continues, “I…I mean, I like all…of you…?”

Sayaka breathes out a sigh of relief.  “No, no.  I mean, like, boys.”  She leans back against the wall nearest to them and stars up at the ceiling.  “Like how Junko used to like Yasuke before he got expelled.”

At her words, Junko’s face darkens.

“I mean,” Sayaka starts to correct herself, wincing, “how Junko still likes Yasuke?  Maybe?”  Her face grows a bright red, and she covers it with her long sleeves.  “Sorry!”

Junko just shrugs.  “You mean how you like Makoto?”

Sayaka squeaks and hides behind her hands, and for a moment, just a moment, Kyoko thinks a shadow passes across Mukuro’s face.  But whatever she sees, it’s gone just as quickly as it appears.  Maybe she didn’t really see anything at all.  (Maybe she would know what she didn’t see if she spent more time with her classmates before now, if she knew them better.  Sometimes, it strikes her that she doesn’t really know them at all.)

“There was a boy I liked once,” Sakura murmurs, “but I would rather not….”  Her voice trails away.

“So, Kyoko,” Sayaka says into the silence, dropping her hands into her lap, her face still flushed a bright red, “is there anyone you like?  Anyone you’re interested in?”

Kyoko considers this for a few moments.  She presses her lips together into a thin line.  “I’m unsure,” she says, finally.  “I have never been interested in anyone before, and so I’m not sure what it would feel like if I was interested in anyone.”  Her brow furrows.  “What does…what does it feel like?”

Sayaka sighs.  “You’d know if you did.  So there must not be anyone.”

“It’s okay, Kyoko!”  Hina reaches over and pats her leg.  “I don’t really get it either.  Being in love and everything.  It should come naturally, right?  Only I don’t think it does.”  She frowns.  “Maybe I should practice with someone or something.”

“I don’t think practicing with someone is going to help,” Kyoko murmurs, considering it, “but I can’t be sure.”

“You guys are such eggheads.”  Junko collapses back onto her bed with a sigh.  “Can we talk about something else now?  Talking about boys is boring.”

Hina grins.  “Something else like…your favorite donut?”

“No!”

~

It’s in the early hours of the morning, when the others have all fallen asleep, when Kyoko lays on her back and stares up at the ceiling, unable to get her mind to quiet enough to sleep, that Junko pops her face right over her head and says, quite plainly, “Help!”

Kyoko pushes herself up, rubs a hand across her eyes, and blinks up at her friend.  “What’s wrong?”

“My hair,” Junko whines.  “It’s all tangled.”  She frowns and crosses her arms.  “I think it was all the donuts.  Can you fix it?”

“I don’t think donuts can tangle your hair.”  Kyoko slowly moves over to Junko and tries to run her fingers through her pale pink hair.  Her eyes widen.  “Junko.”

“…yes?”

“How did you get jelly in your hair?”

~

A few moments later finds them shut up in Junko’s bathroom with one of her fluffy hot pink towels pressed up against the crack at the bottom of the door so that no light filters through, with Junko seated in a chair with her head leaned back in the sink, and with Kyoko slowly, carefully massaging soap into her hair.  She’s never done this with another person before – never washed someone else’s hair – and she’s never done this with her gloves on either, so it feels very…odd.  Uncertain.  Like she can’t know how much she’s gotten out because she can’t quite feel it; even jelly doesn’t feel so sticky under hot water and soap.

“You can take your gloves off, you know.”

Kyoko avoids the blue-grey eyes staring straight up at her.  “I’d rather not.”

“I’ll close my eyes, if that will help.”  As she says it, Junko closes her eyes anyway and lets out a little hum.  “That feels good, Kyokyo.”

“Good.  At least one of us is enjoying this.”  Kyoko pauses.  She glances down at Junko, checking to make sure her eyes are closed, and then says, “Don’t open them.”

“My eyes?”  Junko sighs, relaxes, and settles a little more comfortably into her chair, a smile playing about her lips.  “Definitely not.  This feels so much better this way.”

At her words, Kyoko pulls her hands out of Junko’s hair.  Her gloves are a soaking, sopping wet mess; they’re made to withstand heat, cold, snow, rain, ice – anything she would need – but that doesn’t mean they’re comfortable for this sort of thing.  She slowly strips them off, places them to one side, and then winces as she sees her hands in the light.  It’s easier – so much easier – to lose them in Junko’s hair than it is to look at them.

Even wet, Junko’s hair is so soft.

Junko is the Ultimate Fashionista.  Her hair has to be full of so many products that it should be dry and cracking beneath her fingertips, oily and nasty and greasy, even without whatever bits of donut had gotten stuck in it, and that’s not even getting into the bleach and dye that must be required to get it to that pale pink color.

And yet, somehow, it’s soft.  Perhaps the softest thing Kyoko has felt against her hands in years.  And she can’t help it – can’t help the little hum of contentment that spurs through her lips.

“That good, huh?”

“Sorry.  I—”

“Don’t worry about it.”  Junko raises a hand as though to give a gesture of dismissal, but when she tries, she ends up hitting Kyoko instead.  “I take such good care of my hair.”

“Up until jelly donuts enter the equation.”

“That wasn’t my fault.”  Junko’s eye starts to crack open, but she screws it tight shut.  She seems to force herself to relax again.  “It isn’t that great, you know.”

Kyoko pauses as she squirts more of Junko’s shampoo into her hand, a soft, light lilac scent filling the air.  “Hm?”

“Being in love.  It kind of sucks.”  Junko leans into her fingertips.  “Liking someone’s not so bad.  Just wanting to be around them.  Hearing what they have to say about anything.  Thinking they’re cute.  At first, it’s okay.  But then it’s like….”  Her voice trails off.

The correct thing to do is wait.  The correct thing to do is not to push.  The correct thing to do is to let Junko drop the conversation if she wants, because it isn’t like Kyoko even brought it up this time.  She hadn’t brought it up last time and—

“You don’t have to talk about him, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Junko’s brow furrows.  “Some guys are real fucking creeps.”  Her lips press together into a thin little line.  “You’re lucky.  Not being interested.  It makes things easier.”  She chuckles darkly.  “A lot easier.”  Then her voice trails off into silence, and she doesn’t pick the thread back up again.

A few moments later, Kyoko finishes.  “Hold on one moment,” she murmurs after she finishes rinsing out Junko’s hair.  It’s still tangled – horribly so – but it’s clean, so she should be able to comb it out, even if it might take a while to do so.  She dries her hands off and replaces the still damp gloves onto her hands.  “Okay,” she says.  “Open up.  I’m done.”

Junko opens her eyes, and it’s only then that Kyoko can see the red rims, the tears that prick just barely but not enough to fall.  But then Junko wraps a towel around her neck and sits up, then she flashes her a bright grin.  “Thanks.”

“Let me get the rest of the tangles out, and then I’ll braid it, and you’ll be fine.”

“Braid it?” Junko echoes, one brow raising.  “Why would you do that?”

“Keeps it from getting tangled when you sleep.”  Kyoko hesitates, then she places her hand on Junko’s shoulder and gives it a little squeeze.  “I’m sure…I’m sure some guys are creeps.  But you….”  Her brow furrows as she tries to think of the right words and, failing that, tries to say something comforting anyway.  “You’re worth it.”

Junko looks up at her.  “Worth guys being creeps?”

“No.”  Kyoko groans and rubs her forehead.  “It’s late.  I don’t know what I’m trying to say.  I’ve never—”

“It’s fine.  I get it.”  Junko’s grin softens, and she leans up just enough to kiss Kyoko’s cheek.  “Thanks for trying.  Words fucking suck, too, sometimes.”  Then she stands, stretches her hands way above her head, and yawns.  “We can do the rest out there, yeah?  You don’t need the light or anything?”

For a moment, Kyoko can’t say anything at all.  Her skin burns where Junko’s lips brushed against it.  She can’t quite breathe.  “Um.”  She coughs twice in an attempt to reset herself.  “Yeah.  Out there.  We’ll…yeah.  That’s…yeah.”

“Okay, close your eyes!” Junko says before shutting the lights off.  “It’ll help them adjust!”

The sudden shift should be blinding – sudden darkness after such bright light – but it isn’t.  And in that room filled with the subtle scent of lilacs, when Kyoko opens her eyes again, Junko seems to be ringed with light.

~

They are both too tired to move when Kyoko finishes with Junko’s hair, and when they wake in the morning, it’s to looks of bemusement from their friends – and a shot of utter hatred directed at Kyoko from Mukuro.

[mirrorsblogs]

𝐀 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐟𝐭 (𝐏𝐭. 𝟏)

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩, 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚. 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙧���𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙪𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮! 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙞 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮.

(Pt. 2)

Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture.

April 5th.

“Five more lilies there!” Your manager was making you arranged bouquets.

“Ok!” Your fingers quickly grabbed some lilies from the pile and placed them expertly in the bouquet. Once you had finished packaging the lilies the bell to the shop opened.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” When you looked up you saw one of the tall boys from your class.

“Do you have a bouquet with pink carnations?”

“Yes it’s right here.” You turned to grab something behind while Ushijima’s eyes wandered around the shop. “Here.”

“Thank you.” 

He quickly handed you the money and your hands touched for a moment. You blushed a little before depositing the money and by the time you looked up again the door had opened and closed.

I wonder who he got flowers for.

“Did you finish what I told you to?” Your manager had yelled from the back.

“Yeah, sorry!”

Though you did little to think of him before Ushijima remained in your mind while you did your homework that night.

“Are you ok?” Your roommate, Sakura, poked you on the shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You resumed your work promptly after.

Shiratorizawa Academy, Miyagi Prefecture.

April 6th.

It was school the next day and the late shift you pulled at work did nothing to help you. 

“Alright we are pairing up for projects.” A chorus of delighted noises made its way around the room as different people made eye contact with their friends. “I have already taken the liberty of choosing your partners.” A series of groans followed this.

You started doodling on the side of your worksheet as your teacher began writing on the board who the partners were. As time went on you began to get worried as your name had not appeared yet.

Then the last pair was written. Your name next to Ushijima.

“I guess we’re partners.” You looked to your left and saw him standing next to you entirely blocking the sun from the nearby window from hitting you.

“Yeah I guess so.” You smiled but he remained monotone in his expression as he sat beside you.

“How can you see from back here?” You looked towards him with a questioning expression.

“I see just fine.” Although this was a lie you looked at Ushijima who even sat towered over everyone. “Besides, now that you’re sitting here you can read the board to me.”

He shook his head and retrieved his notes from his bag. 

While you took notes diligently about the upcoming project you noticed Ushijima’s paper remained blank.

“You ok?” His head did not turn to you as he responded.

“Yes. I am fine.” You noted how he looked a little flustered which was more than you had seen him emote all of class.

The lesson promptly wrapped up with some time to plan out your project.

“We could research independently and then put it together at one time.” 

“But we might end up researching the same thing. What if we just did the whole thing together?” You tapped your pen lightly against your lip.

“Ok then. The library should be open. I have practice till seven today. Could you wait until then?”

“Yeah I can.” Besides, you had loads of homework to catch up on.

The hours at the library ticked by and soon it was six, you were hungry. The cafeteria might still have some food.

An apple… The cafeteria had one singular apple left but you did not complain, just took it. When you took the first bite it made a loud crunch that garnered some people’s attention. 

You ignored it and continued back towards the library, passing by some of the gyms. The ambiance comforted you, the tiredness from the athletes and the occasional shouting from coaches.

You bit into the apple again. One door was ajar and from walking by you could see someone spiking a volleyball. The jump was high and the posture was amazing. You bit again and widened your eyes when the spiker turned his head towards you instead of the ball.

Shit!

You heard the coach yelling and then the stomp of feet towards the door. There was two options:

Apologize for the inconvenience and hope Ushijima does not hate you for interrupting his practice.

Run and hope Ushijima does not hate you for interrupting practice.

Apologize for the inconvenience and hope Ushijima does not hate you for interrupting his practice.

Run and hope Ushijima does not hate you for interrupting practice.

You ran and dropped the apple on the ground in a rush. The library was on the other side of campus, under normal circumstances you would have made it there in five minutes. You made it there in two and a half. 

When it was a few minutes past seven you began to let your foot bounce and click your pen in nervousness. 

“Hello.” Ushijima looked a little on the tired side but he still carried his work just the same.

“Hi.” You instantly stopped clicking the pen.

“Here’s your apple.” He handed you the apple with dirt and now rotting brown parts in a plastic bag.

“I’m sorr-”

“Don’t be. It was amusing to watch you run so fast.” You sighed into your hands.

“This is an embarrassment.”

“We can start working if you want?” He pulled together some notebook pages and a laptop with a window full of sources.

“Yes, please.”

Both of you worked well in sync quickly finishing the first half of the project in only an hour and a half.

“Next week, Saturday?” All of the work was quietly packed into one of your folders.

“I go home on that day. Though my mother would not be opposed to you joining.”

“But we’ve only known each other for a few days?”

“You’ve been in my class for three years.”

“Where do you live?” You sighed and conceded to his ask. 

What’s the worst that could happen?

“Further into the countryside. My family owns a farm out there.” Ushijima stood up from the table and without asking, escorted you to your dorm.

“Oh. Must have been fun to grow up on a farm.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He thought of a question to ask. “Where do you live?”

“The northern part of Miyagi.”

“That would be far then. You’re family is ok with you attending here?”

“Yes. They want me to get a higher education.” You smiled lightly.

“I should visit you then in return.” His obliviousness shocked you.

“You would have to drive hours.”

“I could take the train.”

“It’s an hour walk from the train station to my house.”

“Train and biking.”

“You are not visiting.” At his sad expression you conceded. “Fine but my dad is picking you up from the station.”

“Alright.”

“I do have a question. Why are you asking me to visit your home with you?”

“Our project.”

“Just our project?” 

“Yes.” He’s a truly horrible liar.

“Ok, see you tomorrow.”

You walked to your dorm with a smug expression, Sakura was sitting on her bed.

“Hey, why'd you get back so late?”

“Finishing up a project with my partner.” You placed your bag on the bag hook.

“Who’s your partner?” She flipped a page in the magazine.

“Ushijima.” As you pulled your laptop out of your bag you could hear Sakura dropping her magazine on the ground.

“You’re kidding?”

“No?”

After lots of badgering and questions from Sakura she finally managed to calm down.

“So you’re just project partners?”

“Maybe?”

“The hell do you mean maybe?” She began to shake your forearms.

“He asked me to join him to go to his house next week.”

“You’re going to his house!” She brought you in for a hug tightly.

“Yes!” The air was being squeezed from you.

“If he kills you, I’ll kill him.” Her tone had you laughing.

“He’s not going to do that, you're overreacting.”

“I’m not!”

“Sakura. Go to bed. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Her demeanor had your heart warming.

“Yes.” You hugged her again and climbed up to your bunk.

“Goodnight!” 

“Goodnight.”

[dragonclaude]

Yello friend of mine, glad to see you're doing well here, always a treat to see your content come across my dash! And I'm glad you're getting so many people who love your art too.

Here's a quick doodle request: Sak n' Hina doing some training with some Pokemon of your choosing! I remember you built their teams once, so I'm interested to see how they'd interact in that context.

Heya friend, thanks and here you go!! :D I'm happy you're enjoying my stuff!!

Also, you're out here sharing some secret images huh xD I did make their full teams, and why not, let me share and put it down below. Explanations and all!

Sakura:

General- I think Sakura would like to have pokemon she could train with along with using to fight others. So she would naturally gravitate towards fighting types.

Urshifu: Kenshiro has the other version. Basically a perfect rep of a really strong martial arts pokemon and it's unique enough that the two strongest people would probably have.

Lopunny(Mega): Gotten from her enjoyment of rabbits so I decided the fighting rabbit pokemon would be perfect. Probably one of her earliest pokemon.

The last 4 are pokemon that are fighters based on more traditional methods rather than pokemon like Machamp or Hawlucha which are based on more modern fighters. Plus they cover a wide variety of things I think she values: Medicham with the patience, Conkeldurr with the defensive/grounded fighting and the Mienshao/Infernape with quick reflexes.

Hina:

General- Instead of just leaning to swimming and only water types, I think Hina would like pokemon that cover several sports. (And some that help her with her sweet cravings)

Floatzel/Starmie: Refers to Hina's swimming talent specifically. I chose them because they're fast and energetic like she is.

Cinderace/Passimian: Refers to Hina's other sports like the sportballs and track which she also practices. Another form of training with your mons.

Slurpuff: Reminds Hina of sweets and with their strong nose, they can find their way around if Hina ever gets lost........as well as detect the nearest donut shop when emergencies arise xD

Alcremie: It makes her sweets if she befriends it??? On Hina's team immediately.

[carewyncromwell]

There! Finalized my model sheet for my HPMA girl, Anastasia Read! You can read more about her here at this moodboard post I did for her, but basically she’s a Gryffindor who dreams more than she talks and is determined to be the heroine of her own fantasy story.

Some more info about Ana under the cut...

Ana doesn’t resemble her biological parents, John Read and Bonnie Pinkstone-Read, much at all except in hair color (both are also brunettes). Her soft, endomorph frame, strong shoulders, and bluish gray eyes come from her maternal grandfather. As an adult Ana’s even taller than her mother Bonnie, who’s very petite all the way around.

Poor Ana is actually quite self-conscious about her weight, thanks in no small part to the, um...attempts at support from her mother Bonnie, who frequently expresses “concern” about Ana’s health because of her size. At school she wears a highwaisted skirt to hide her tummy, as if she wore a skirt like all of the other girls’, she’d look like -- in her mother’s words -- “a sack of potatoes tied in two.” It’s also the reason she always wears pants, tights or leggings -- she thinks her legs are very chubby and unattractive. Despite her roundness, however, Ana’s also always had very strong shoulders and is on the taller side compared to her other female classmates, which helps her put off a tougher image.

Bonnie Read’s biggest foible as a mother is her immaturity. She wants to be Ana’s “friend” more than a mentor most of the time, and so has difficulty enforcing discipline or even in setting a good example. Bonnie almost immediately dated three other men after divorcing John, all of whom either pointedly ignored or expressed open resentment toward her daughter Ana, before she finally met, dated, and married her second husband. Bonnie’s dependent personality and (as mentioned) subconscious weightism doesn’t help matters either.

Ana’s father John Read is an active-duty soldier. He’s actually an incredibly absent father who never really had much interest in having a family, but Ana’s always put him on a bit of pedestal, partly because of her image of him having become a soldier for noble reasons like serving his country and partly because him not being there to actively be a poor parent like her mother Bonnie made it easier for Ana to romanticize John in her mind. Ana writes to John very frequently. John doesn’t write back much at all.

Ana’s best mentor figure is her stepfather, Bradley Pinkstone (a wizard and Gryffindor alumnus himself). He and his two grown sons Jasper and Preston (a Slytherin and Gryffindor in their day) are very affectionate toward Ana, which kind of weirded her out at first, considering she’s not their blood relative and she’d assumed they’d hate her...but oh, was she ever so glad to be wrong! The new Pinkstone-Read family live in a rather pretty brick house in Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Her best and favorite class is History of Magic, but she tends to enjoy all classes where she can write essays. She’s always been miles ahead of her classmates when it comes to writing, especially considering that there are no specific writing or grammar classes taught at Hogwarts. Just about every written assignment Ana’s ever submitted has gotten an O.

Contrariwise, she struggles in classes that are more “physical” like Care of Magical Creatures or Flying.

Despite not getting into Flying class or Quidditch, though, Ana does take time to practice flying on her own at night when no one else is around. She finds moonlit broom rides incredibly romantic and great inspiration whenever she’s suffering from writer’s block.

Ana’s an avid journal keeper! She goes through a good five of them every year. She generally magically shrinks her finished creativity journals for easier storage, and she always hexes whichever one she’s currently writing in order to make sure no one else can open it. (If you’re somehow lucky enough to get her permission, she’ll open her creativity journal for you so you can read it and look at the doodles she did.)

Her favorite authors are Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Hans Christian Andersen, and William Shakespeare. Her favorite type of movies are high fantasy like The Princess Bride, Stardust, and The Lord of the Rings.

Ana’s also huge into Japanese manga! Her one true love is Sailor Moon, but she’s very fond of shoujo manga titles like Cardcaptor Sakura, Ouran High School Host Club, and Fruits Basket.

Ana’s favorite musical genre is symphonic metal, introduced to her by her oldest stepbrother Jasper. Her favorite bands are Within Temptation, Evanescence, and Nightwish.

As a teenager, Ana falls in love with the Victorian Gothic and steampunk subcultures, the first of which Jasper dabbles in and the second of which Preston is hard-core into. Being an INFP, she loves the creativity, historical bent, and romanticism in both movements. At the Pinkwood-Read family’s formal Christmas parties, you’ll often see all three of them wearing top hats with their holiday ensembles.

Ana does NOT make friends easily, but once you do become her friend, she’s always got your back. Her BFF is Hufflepuff Robin Isherwood @cursebreakerfarrier​. She also gets along pretty well with Gryffindor housemate Lorcan O’Donnell @unfortunate-arrow​, Slytherin Jordi Prewett @cursebreakerelmswood​, Ravenclaw Noa March @that-ravenpuff-witch​ and Hufflepuffs Mitch C. Hodge @department-shoe-stud​ and HG Gray @ljthebard1​. They all either call Anastasia “Ana” or “Annie” -- her stepfather and brothers call her “Anya.” 

Upon finding out how much her BFF Robin likes flowers and plants, Ana went out of her way to collect some books on the Victorian language of flowers. (Her brother Jasper gave her a hand with finding some good ones.) One Valentine’s Day she even sent Robin a friendship bouquet of irises, goldenrod, oak-leaved geraniums, and southernwood without any sort of note -- not that it was necessary, given that flowers’ message translated to “Just wanted to let you know you’ll always be my best friend.” (Everyone else assumed Robin had this mysterious secret admirer.)

If anyone rubs Ana the wrong way, they can expect a formal dueling challenge. Ana is witty on the page, but not verbally, and she’s upfront and honorable enough when she’s angry to want to “take it outside” and settle the dispute on the dueling field the way a knight would avenge a slight to their king’s honor, rather than be backhanded or sneaky about it.

Ana may be cisgender and identify as straight, but she is the ULTIMATE LGBT+ ally. Even when she was a kid, she would get very hot under the collar about homophobia, racism, or any other sort of prejudice, thanks to her Gryffindor sense of honor and her INFP sensitivity, and after Bonnie married Bradley and Ana met Jasper (who’s transgender FtM himself), Ana became all the more passionate about LGBT+ rights. She only becomes more vocal in her support after some of her friends come out of the closet too.

Ana’s greatest fear is being insignificant. This is depicted in boggart form as the whole room around her suddenly becoming huge, to the point where she’s as tiny and helpless as a mouse.

Ana’s Patronus is a black swan. If she ever became an Animagus, she’d be a large brown and gray tabby cat with oddly colored bluish gray eyes.

I could see Ana one day becoming a well-regarded author of fiction books for young magical children.

[talenevertold]

I love your love – untie it, entwine it (A KoiTsudu Fanfic)

Genre: Angst, Romance, Fluff, Smut... but mostly smut... I counted the pages, yes, I know the percentage  

***   ***   ***

It bugged him that she didn’t know how much he wanted her.

Or rather, she knew… to an extent.

They’ve been married for five months now, Nanase knew he had healthy sexual drive towards her… It’s just… she never grasped just how MUCH and how OFTEN he wanted her! His little soft wife, the most positive person he ever knew, who believed the best in the worst of people, who believed in herself professionally more and more each day – somehow, she’d managed to bypass building her self-esteem as a woman completely! In her world, Kairi was a god living on a pedestal of light and love, and she wasn’t worthy of him. In any way, shape or form. Especially, form.

***   ***   ***

He hated that part of himself so much! That part that didn’t know how to communicate this powerful, all-consuming need to have her, and hold her, and protect her and make her happy! Words! He needed words and the ones he had would always end up stuck in his throat or come out twisted. Nanase would startle, her eyes wide with worry, apologize in a deep respectful bow and get very quiet for a while. And he could almost see how she’d make yet another note in her mental notebook called ‘How not to upset my perfect husband, Volume 7 out of XX’.

Kairi Tendo, brilliant cardio surgeon, all around smart guy, was so dumb when it mattered the most! He vowed to himself so many times to hold his temper, to leash his arrogance and treat her better than that… but it was so damn hard! That stupid advice from long ago – to let life and work mix up and enjoy the chaos – was finally bringing results and not the ones he’d hoped for! Nanase was his wife, the most precious person whose smile and kind heart was vital to his survival – and yet she was also his nurse, quite promising and quickly improving specialist who cared too much, meddled enough, sometimes stood in the way and ever so rarely made mistakes. Teaching her, even reprimanding her, was a part of his job. And his personality was well suited for this, for being brutally honest and quick to judge. But Kairi couldn’t shake off the feeling that the same way Nanase brought her love and care for him to work – he’d bring his ‘sensei mode’ back home.

***   ***   ***

He yelled at her this morning. She was taking off the night shift, he was taking on the day shift, they’d cross paths only for her to update him and his day nurse on couple of critical post-op patients they had in the ICU. She’d stumbled with couple of overly-scientific words, took few moments too long to find the blood work results – and before he could catch himself, the devil in him called Tendo Nanase stupid. Out loud. In front of people. For real, this time.

She flinched, bowed, finished her report quickly and left. Without raising her eyes to him. And it hurt so much! And the fact that Nanase avoided his eyes because she believed to have disappointed him hurt that much more!

He was a demon indeed! Now he understood! Vile creature redeemed only by the fact that he had an angel for a wife… Whatever has he done in his previous lives to deserve her? Because Kairi was confident he did nothing significant enough to deserve her in this one! Or, alternatively, what could she possibly have done to deserve him as a punishment? Probably, not the case – Nanase was too bright of a soul to work off any past sins. She was light. And he was the monster.

***   ***   ***

At lunch hour, the nurse brought in a package. With his lunch box and a note from his wife. ‘Hope you’ll like this omurice, sensei. I promise to strive to be a better nurse… and a better cook. Remember to take care of yourself as you are very important to your patients and to me. Love, Nanase’. She’d also doodled little hearts and a smiling kitten. His ever-so-positive wife was trying to cheer him up.

Omurice was ok, but considering Tendo didn’t have breakfast this morning, it was amazing! While chewing on the chicken fried rice, he though absentmindedly that Nanase didn’t know how to cook omurice not so long ago. She must’ve added it to the long list of things she needed to learn in order ‘to be a better wife’ after he’d complimented the omurice they had at the restaurant this weekend. His wife would spend every waking moment free of studying or cleaning on googling recipes – for whatever reason Nanase believed it was her wifely duty to keep their home tidy and her husband well fed. Or, rather, she believed these were the skills she could master enough. For the rest of her ‘wifely duties’ Nanase was genuinely and heartbreakingly grateful to Kairi for ‘settling’ and ‘accepting her inexperience, clumsiness and shyness’. And it bugged him to no end how utterly wrong she was in this particular aspect! Of all the things! THIS was not him ‘settling’ for her, THIS was what surprised him the most straight from the beginning, how it’d hit him like a truck and knocked the breath out of him and he still couldn’t make sense of how MUCH and how OFTEN he couldn’t see straight and function properly because his body was filled with the NEED for his wife!

***   ***   ***

It wasn’t always like this for him. Kairi was never shy or anything but natural arrogance prevented him from developing deep enough connections for them to become physical – up until his university days. When you’re dealing with life and death on daily basis, things like ‘long-term’ and ‘waiting for the right time’ become less meaningful and less constricting. Sex becomes causality, something people do to relieve stress and have a bit of hormone rush. That is not to say Tendo Kairi was mundane about it – he took time and effort to become exceptional in it too, if not for anything other than being efficient and considerate of his partners.

But after Minori… he just didn’t care enough about life in general, other than lives of patients in his care. His physical excretion was dedicated to jogging and his hormones were forced to take a really long vacation.

Up until the point he’d met Sakura Nanase for the second time in his life.

Kairi couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment when his general aversion to her antics turned into mild curiosity, then to soft appreciation and then, out of nowhere and all of a sudden, into majestic rainbow of feelings and emotions. And the least one Kairi expected was desire. Primitive, possessive, gut-wrenching lust for a little shy virgin with baby deer eyes and all the trust of the world shining in them! Nanase was so far away from his type that, as he ran towards her, his ‘type’ got lost behind the horizon and all that was left was her. Her forever-blushing cheeks, her soft hair, her clean scent… and his need to possess all of it, day and night, just him and always more!

***   ***  ***

Tendo Kairi was a practical man and once he’d realized that his girlfriend, Sakura Nanase, was ‘it’ for him – he’d accepted it and moved on. He never argued with himself regarding his ‘type’ and ‘standards’, never looked for faults in her appearance or tried to compare her with anyone from his past. He was forever grateful to Nanase for waking him up and proving he wasn’t dead inside – and that included his male drive.

However, that awakening soon proven to be too much to handle for normally cold-blooded and composed doctor. His naïve and inexperienced girlfriend knew she drove him mad with her mishaps and quirks… but she had no idea she drove him up the wall with desire just by being present!

It was so hard when they’d started dating…

That first time he’d kissed her and felt his entire body respond to her closeness… and how he stood behind her door thinking of the reasons to come in and do more ‘medical treatment’ kisses all over her skin… but then… Nanase was so pure, so innocent, so shook with all the events of that day… and so he waited.

The time she got jealous of Miori and tried letting him go… and he wanted to kiss her tears away… lock her in his arms and dispel her worries with the heat building up in his body…

And then hotel room… Her innocent plea to be gentle for her first time… Kairi held his breath when he felt Nanase approaching him… he prayed fervently… for her to do something, ANYTHING, to give him an excuse to respond… but also for her to keep her distance because he wasn’t sure he could be gentle with so much fire burning inside of him. So, when Nanase wished him ‘good night’ and felt asleep immediately after, Tendo was somewhat relieved… and hugely disappointed. And the chaste kiss he gave her that night did nothing to quench his thirst… again.

These moments were piling up and up and up… Until one day, about a week after Sakura was discharged after her accident… they played Jenga.

***   ***   ***

Jenga was supposed to be innocent enough game, something to keep Tendo focused on something else other than the girl beside him. That fresh-out-of-the-shower, wearing-loose-sweater-over-sports-bra girl with her hair still slightly wet and her skin still slightly flushed from hot water. She smelled of soap and happiness and that scent was making Kairi light-headed and heavy in the same time. The way she was biting her lower lip when she’d focused on her next move… the tilt of her head and dreamy expression when she was watching him… how was any of that not intentional, Tendo didn’t know!

Right before he was about to take out another risky block, Sakura tagged on her sweater to wipe out droplets of water rolling down her collarbones and sighted:

-          I probably should dry my hair after all…

Kairi refocused his gaze on her fingers sliding across the collar of the sweater. He opened his lips to respond and realized his mouth was too dry to talk. Sakura’s palm traveled back to the back of her neck and she’d stretched, swaying a bit in her sitting position. She looked at him and asked:

-          Sensei, please, wait till I’m back before you make your move, I need to see which one you took.

He nodded still not capable of coherent sounds. Nanase stood up and made half a step towards her bathroom when her knees buckled and she felt back down, landing inches away from him. She tried to break her fall by grabbing Tendo by the shirt but only ended up bumping their foreheads together. Sakura yelped and rubbed her forehead quickly, all while chattering her apologies:

-          Ah, sensei, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry, my leg fell asleep and I stumbled and I..! I’m so clumsy, sensei, it was all my fault!

Her eyes were fixed on his forehead, assessing the damage she thought she’d caused. Sakura looked back into his eyes, her voice a little raspy with worry:

-          Do you have a headache? Feel dizzy? Loosing focus in your vision?

Tendo noticed her eyes searching his face – his little nurse was assessing him for signs of brain trauma. He was about to make a comment that her head, no matter how hard, could not have damaged him that much… and then a memory crossed his mind. He did the same thing tree weeks ago… searched her eyes for pupils dilation, checked her pulse… she assured him she was fine back then… and he trusted her… and almost lost her…

Barely visible scar on her forehead will soon fade and be concealed by the hairline. She was back to work already and perfectly healthy. Yet, he couldn’t shake off the dread that broke into his chest and froze over his heart. He could have lost her. Not a single doctor in their hospital told him ‘It’s going to be ok’. Because he would know they were lying. And none of them was sure enough to tell him the truth. He could have lost her.

Stark contrast between cold spreading through his limbs and her warm presence so near him made Tendo shiver. Nanase noticed and took her fingers off his forehead:

-          What is it, sensei? How can I help?

The sincerity, the plea in her voice, so gentle, so honest, so in love… broke the ice that was binding him. Tendo grabbed her by the waist and hugged her tight to his chest, making her straddle his thighs. Nanase stilled for a second and then instinctively tried to pull away, too embarrassed by this new closeness to male body. Kairi didn’t let go, instead borrowing his face into crook of her neck, inhaling deeply her sweet, pulsing scent. So intoxicating, so alive!

-          Shh, Sakura, please…

The girl in his arms stopped struggling and he felt her feather-like touch hugging him around the waist. She whispered softly:

-          Tell me, what do you need?

Kairi turned his head and planted soft kiss just behind her ear, eliciting half-sight, half-moan out of his beloved captive. He did it again, tracing kisses down her neck, feeling her chest rise and fall quickly as her breathing became quick and shallow. Sakura’s fingers clutched his shirt from behind, digging into his back and injecting his nerves with electricity and short-circuiting his muscles. Tendo clenched his teeth before he could bite the tender skin on her shoulder and said in barely audible voice:

-          Please… just… please…

Sakura brought one of her hands and rested in between his shoulder blades, patting his back a little. That was probably supposed to be reassuring and calming motion but seeing how it flushed her body against his and she was still straddling his thighs – it was anything but! Nanase, still frustratingly oblivious to the storm she was wrecking with her innocent movements, asked him again:

-          What? Sensei, did you say something?

Kairi straightened and caught her face in his palms, locking her eyes – her deep, baby-deer-big eyes – with his. There was no fear in them or discomfort – just trust and love, so, so much love! Kairi said in low steady voice, making sure she understood everything this time:

-          Stay. With me. Tonight… be mine.

She knew what he’d meant. Tendo felt her body stiffened as Sakura stopped breathing and her eyes shot even bigger than before. Something flashed across her face, something shy and scared. Kairi kissed her cheek, then the other, feeling her small form relax into his embrace. Her eyes were still worried though, so he asked softly not to spook her:

-          Do you… not want to?

It couldn’t be it, right? She tried to seduce him before, for God’s sake! But maybe… maybe it wasn’t the night? What if it wasn’t that ‘right time’ girls like her romanticized so much in their virgin dreams about Prince Charming? Or was it him… not being Prince Charming enough?

Nanase swallowed hard and Tendo’s heart stilled anticipating her answer:

-          I don’t want to, - Sakura bowed her head, averting his gaze and Tendo felt his blood stopping in his veins, - …disappoint you.

Tidal wave of relief almost knocked Kairi over and all the tension that was holding him in place escaped with a groan. He grabbed Sakura by the shoulders and shook her a bit, making her look at him again. It was still there, the fear he saw in her eyes! But his shy virgin girlfriend wasn’t scared of him or being with him this way – she was scared of herself! Of her inexperience… and her disappointing him.

To be honest, Tendo never engaged with younger women before specifically for this reason – he didn’t want the responsibility of being ‘the first one’ because of all the expectations and all the awkwardness attached. But with Nanase… his fragile and strong sakura flower… he cherished the honor of being the first one! And passionately hoped for the privilege of being ‘the only one ever’ in the future to come! To have her give herself only to him, to find his home inside her body and soul, to have and to hold… his Nanase, only his, his first and only Nanase!

Containing so much desire and love was getting too much for Kairi and he began to tremble. He closed his eyes, listening to blood thundering and beating like a drum in his head – his body’s demand to do something, ANYTHING, before he combusted!

Only then he looked at Sakura, realizing he still hasn’t said anything to her confession. She was biting her lower lip and glancing back and forth between him and the floor, waiting for some sort of judgement on her adequacy. ‘Am I not… sexy enough?’, his memory supplied. Why?! Why, oh, why would she ever doubt it? Did she not feel his body burning underneath her? Did she not hear his blood singing under her fingertips? Did she not see the hunger in his eyes, the primal need to devour here and now?

No, she didn’t. On the back of his mind, Tendo registered a snarky remark that experienced nurse was supposed to know the tell-tale signs of male arousal – especially, since he was showing all of them at once – but the bigger and smarter part of his brain shushed the demon away and supplied the answer – she really didn’t know! She wasn’t his nurse right now – Nanase was his girlfriend, young inexperienced woman he loved so much and wanted so badly his bones hurt! It would take some time for her – and some considerable effort from him – to show her just how sexy she was to him and how there was absolutely no way she could displease him in any way!

Tendo said, his voice hoarse and strangled:

-          Sakura… my, my Sakura! You can never, ever disappoint me!

-          But… um… sensei…

Tendo pressed a finger to her lips, momentarily transfixed with sensing her wet mouth under his touch. He rushed into the kiss, possessing her with unreserved passion, swallowing her surprised moan. Nanase swayed – not away from him but into him – and circled his neck, locking them into the frenzied kiss for as long as they could survive without air. Her lips parted in sigh and Kairi took the opportunity to taste her, to caress her tongue with his, inviting Sakura to respond. Her first movement was unsure, even lost… but Sakura was nothing if not persistent and eager to learn! She took her cues from Tendo’s labored breathing, groans rumbling deep in his chest – and soon she’d danced the dance too, meeting Kairi half-way, touch for touch and kiss for kiss!

Tendo broke away first, heaving like crazy and willing himself to release her hair – he must’ve left bruises on her sculp with how tightly he held her. But then again, she didn’t complain… Would she complain if he caused her pain?

Tendo shook his head to chase away this ugly thought and looked at Nanase. Evening settled around them and her face was only lit by the dim light of a nightstand lamp. Even so, Tendo could see that Sakura was bright shade of red and trying to blow some cool air down her chest without him noticing. Oh, he noticed! And no matter how proud Kairi was to bring her to this state over a short period of time, he was not about to cause his girlfriend a heat stroke on their first night together!

Kairi proposed tenderly, almost shyly, tugging on the hem of her sweater:

-          May I? Take this off, I mean…

He felt like he needed to add this little explanation as Nanase may think a whole range of things including him asking her to borrow the sweater. Tendo chose to be very specific about wanting to undress the woman in front of him and waited patiently for her to respond, still tagging on the sweater.

Nanase closed her eyes for a moment, her shoulders bunching in defensively… but when she’d opened them again, Tendo saw her determination to brace the challenge, as she nodded and raised her hands above her head. Kairi chuckled silently – his little hero was getting ready to be judged by him on the merits of her body and it probably took a lot to go for it like this – and he was more than ready to unwrap the gift he waited for since forever.

His hands dove under fabric to touch the warm skin. He started from the waistband of her sweatpants, palm tracing up the sides of her body, slowly, very slowly. Kairi tried to commit to memory the look on her face when he caressed her stomach with his thumbs… the way her eyes rolled a bit when he draw lines around the sides of her breasts… how Sakura leaned into him when he was tugging the sweater over her head… and then she was free. And he was doomed.

She was perfect. Sakura, his woman-to-be, was perfect. She wasn’t too thin, so no bones were sticking out anywhere – instead, soft curves of her belly immediately gave Tendo all kinds of biting fantasies and an urgent desire to mark her that way. Then he’d noticed she had a scar – just under the left collarbone – and Kairi made a mental mark to ask Nanase about it later. Her breasts, still clad in sports bra, were not too big and just the right size to fit into his palm – they teased him to check the fit right away with how they were dancing under his unblinking gaze and with Sakura’s nervous breathing. His hand twitched uncontrollably but stilled in the air. There was something he had to do before that… right? What was it?

Tendo looked at his hand suspended between them, looked at Sakura’s waiting face, noticed how she’d pressed her lips together as if trying to keep some words from spilling out – and it dawned on him. He exhaled, putting all the conviction and passion in his body into this answer to her unspoken question:

-          You are so beautiful, Sakura. And you are so sexy, I am… it’s hard to breathe…

His hand came back to his body, clutching the front of his shirt, trying to untie the knot of nerves and anticipation tangled in his chest. He looked back at Sakura, trying to see whether she’d believed him earlier – but she was looking at his chest, her eyes squinted, as if considering something. When Sakura met his gaze again, Kairi raised an eyebrow questioningly – was she really checking for some another symptom regarding his problems with breathing? Now?!

Sakura surprised him by touching her fingers to the top button on his shirt:

-          May I?

The problem with breathing may well kill him seeing how he’d stopped doing that altogether! Nanase… wanted to… undress him! Kairi nodded, both his hands falling to the floor beside him to ground in for the tornado spiraling around.

Sakura unbuttoned his short meticulously, practically, tugging a bit to get to the buttons hidden inside his suit pants. When the shirt finally split in the middle, she touched her right hand to Kairi’s throat, softly tracing the veins, the hollow, down the middle of his chest, circling the bellybutton – until she touched the belt buckle. Sakura followed the same path again, this time with both hands on his body, splaying her fingers wide to touch as much of him as she could. She didn’t go far for when her nails grazed his nipples, Tendo hissed and launched towards her. His vision was blurry, his body taught as a bow string – and his virgin seducer looked at him with almost scientific interest! Tendo licked her mouth and sucked in the lower lip, making Sakura dig her nails into his chest again. She whimpered in protest when Kairi released her but then he’d whispered into her lips:

-          Do it again.

Sakura tried kissing him but Kairi leaned back. She caught him by the neck, and he resisted still. He wanted something of her – and Sakura gave in:

-          Do what again?

Tendo unclenched her arms from around his neck and brought her hands to his chest. He leaned in, his lips brazing her shoulder, his voice low and needy:

-          Nails… again… please…

Instead, Nanase pushed him back so she could look at him and he could look at her. She crooked her head as if thinking something over, her fingers flexing ever so lightly over his flamed-up skin. Sakura bent her head, her lips trembling, and kissed one of the red marks on his chest, making Tendo throw his head up and moan loudly. He forgot all about his previous plea – wet sloppy kisses worked too, yes, please, more!

Sakura kissed him again, and again, and again… Tendo’s fingers grabbed shabby carpet so tight his knuckles became white – he was trying so hard to control himself when all he wanted was to throw her down on the floor and consume her whole, make her fall apart under his body, claim her!

His control was running out and Sakura was not making it easy for him – her touches, her kisses, wet traces she left with careful licks of his skin were leaving invisible marks all over his chest, exquisitely pleasurable marks of her claim over him! Not able to hold off any longer, Tendo let go of the carpet – and was stopped midway by his lover’s uncertain voice:

-          Will you… teach me?

Tendo shook his head to clear it up, looking incredulously at his amazing temptress – was she still doubting her ability to turn him on? He rushed to answer before Nanase took his gesture the wrong way:

-          There’s only one rule to his game, Sakura. I’ll teach you… but you will also teach me, ok?

The look of surprise and confusion would’ve been comical… if Tendo could see past the fact that she was half-naked and in his arms. Nanase asked, focusing on her palm laying on his chest:

-          What can I teach you? I don’t…

Tendo quickly bent his head to snatch the rest of whatever ridiculous statement she was about to make with a kiss. He said just as quickly to stop this line of self-doubt:

-          Teach me about yourself, Nanase. If I do something you like – tell me. If I do something you don’t like – absolutely tell me, immediately! Promise me!

Nanase raised her head and looked at him. Not saying anything. Kairi pressed on:

-          Sakura, please, promise me! I need to learn how to be with you so I can teach you how to be with me… Please…

And then Sakura smiled. And that wasn’t her shy smile, her humorous smile or even her happy smile. It was the one Tendo haven’t seen before… Sakura’s first woman’s smile. Mysterious and knowing and seductive as hell! If only she knew how much power she held over him!

Sakura said with a nod:

-          I promise. And…

-          And?

-          Sensei, all the things we did earlier… I liked.

And that smile again. Kairi wondered if she was using it deliberately already, commanding spasms all over his frenzied body at will. If she knew, she was damn good at it! If she didn’t know – she was a natural!

 Then Sakura did something unpredictable, yanking her bra off in one quick, practiced move and tossing it aside. Tendo bent in half as if from the gut punch and froze, his eyes fixated on her naked breasts perking up at him invitingly. His hands reached out automatically and stopped so close… so close he could feel magnetic pull of her flash on his fingertips, like static charge.

-          May I? – he asked, his voice hopeful, pleading.

Sakura answered simply but with so much weight in her voice, leaning into his touch and closing the short distance:

-          Yes, please…

That touch felt like a shot of strong alcohol, spreading liquid warmth from his fingers directly to his neither regions, making all the throbbing and tension in his pants even more painful and urgent. Tendo grinded his teeth, adamant to not let his primal male brain take over – but it was near impossibility with Sakura’s tender flash so close to him, so willing, so responsive! She arched into his palm, her head thrown back in a deep moan when his fingers squeezed her pebbled nipples and tugged a little. Her hands shot up and Sakura grabbed his shirt collar for leverage, making Kairi loose his balance and drop on top of her, pressing her to the floor. Nanase gasped when their bodies touched, feeling tingling sensation sparkling all over her skin. Tendo detached for just a second to yank off his shirt making Sakura whine at the lost of his intoxicating presence over her body. She reached out to him:

-          Sensei…

Kairi came back, laying between her bent legs, cradling her head with one hand and searching all the soft and sensitive spots he could reach to with the other. He explored with abandonment, lost in his own world built of Sakura’s trembling and crushed whispering. Sometime through the haze of desires, each one more demanding that the other, he’s heard Sakura call out to him:

-          Sensei…

He breathed out:

-          Yes?

-          Sensei… teach me…

She placed her hands over his shoulders and tentatively followed the outline of his back muscles, digging her nails in just a little, the way he liked it before. Tendo bit into her shoulder, buckling into her body and seeing sparks behind tightly shot eyelids. He growled:

-          Sakura… later… I won’t… last.

She stilled underneath him, still holding him tight in her arms. Her felt her lips brush over his chest when Nanase whispered:

-          Then… what? Do I…

-          Trust me.

-          Always.

Her answer was immediate even though he didn’t form it as a question. He would never ask her that for Kairi knew that his little brave angel trusted him unequivocally, beyond any doubt and reason. Still, this admission of her purest love for him made something shift in him, cooling him off in a good way, giving him enough clarity to hold on just a little longer.

Kairi licked over the bite mark on her shoulder, tracing down along her collarbone, kissing her openly and hungrily. Her breasts tasted so sweet, her cherry-stone nipples so sensitive under his tongue and fingers – Tendo drank in her cries, her hopeless pleas for more, and more, and more… The way she’d grabbed his hair and pulled down to bring his lips to her wanting body… The way her hips grinded against his erection making Tendo almost cry with pain and pleasure…

Kairi made his way down her body excruciatingly slow, making sure to taste every piece of it, savor every spasm and every incoherent sound she’d make, every convulsive tug of his hair… When he finally reached the waistband of her sweatpants, Tendo looked up at Nanase – her lips swollen, eyes hooded, her expression dazed. Before he could ask yet another ‘May I?’, Sakura raised her hips and let go of his hair, placing her hands of the floor for balance. Tendo worked her sweatpants together with her underwear off, not taking his eyes off her face, looking for any glimpse of fear or confusion. There weren’t any. Nanase looked at him with trust… and anticipation… and challenge… and that smile again.

Tendo’s nostrils flared. Predator in him, primal male creature, detected new scent, something to be hunted till the end of the Earth. He finally looked down, to the little arrow of dark-brown curls contrasting so fine with her pale skin. Her legs were slightly apart, just enough of an angle to see where this arrow was pointing to… little droplets of moisture glistening in the dim lights of the room. That was the scent. Her scent that was only for him!

Gods, have mercy on him! The need to taste her and drink her up battled with equally strong need to be inside her right now, to get lost in her, to never come back… need to conquer, to own, to mark! Sakura, his Sakura, only his!

Sakura… the saving thought dropped on him like a handful of snow… his needs would wait! Her needs were more important now… they were more important always.

Kairi touched his hand to the dark triangle, enjoying the soft feeling of tight damp curls under his fingers. He pressed with his thumb down in the middle and when Sakura’s hips jerked, Tendo knew he’d found what he was looking her. He circled the little nub of nerves, teasing her with pressure and then almost letting go. Sakura covered her mouth with her palm, trying to muffle screams reverberating through her body – but Kairi took it away, repositioning himself lay to the side of her, hoovering over her face, whispering his words into her trembling lips:

-          Don’t, Nanase. Let me hear you.

Her circled her clitoris again, and again, flicked it – and Sakura moaned into his mouth:

-          Sensei… inside…

With her right hand Nanase yanked him down into feverish, all-consuming kiss, threatening remnants of Kairi’s self-control. Her left hand pressed on the lower part of her belly, trying to squeeze out that nagging feeling of something burning inside of her. The feeling increased with every touch of Tendo’s smart fingers, every circle he made added another rotation on a spring winding deep in her body. That spring was connected to every nerve, every muscle, every thought and every emotion within her, jumbling everything up in a fiery pit between her legs, making her cry out and into him.

Kairi knew the feeling. He knew what was missing inside her. That part of him that was missing also knew that, fighting its way out of constricting pants and into her eager body. But for now – Tendo was stronger!

Answering Sakura’s non-verbal pleas, Tendo touched two fingers to her entrance, pushing them inside slowly, knuckle by knuckle. He could’ve started with one, but she was so wet already, so wet! Her walls pulsed around his fingers, while he explored more with pressure, curling his fingers experimentally. At one point, Nanase sucked in her breath and bit her lip – and so Tendo stayed there, pressing on, learning the inside of her body like an instrument. He knew he could’ve done it quicker and more effective with his tongue between her legs, but that would robe him of a sight – and Sakura was a sight to behold! Tendo wanted – ney, he needed – to remember her right now, the first ever time he brought her pleasure, the beginning of her journey as a woman. His woman! Sakura’s eyes were open, but he didn’t think she saw anything… She’d stop breathing and start again with a throaty inhale… her lips moved but sometimes he couldn’t hear a sound… and sometimes only her sounds existed – her ‘ahhh’ and ‘yeeeees’ and ‘pleeease’ and ‘more’… Kairi’s favorite was ‘more’. She trembled and thrashed in his half-embrace… and then she’d stilled in half-raised arch… The spring reached its limit and unwinded with thunder rocking her body, replacing every cell of her body with a speck of light! And the feeling was so foreign yet so natural, it broke her in pieces and healed her, leaving her with numbing buzz! She suddenly felt so tired… so spent… yet she still wanted more!

The sound from above made Nanase open her eyes – Tendo looked at her victorious… and smug… and he was sucking on his fingers… and then Sakura remembered where those fingers were just now. She squeezed her eyes shot and slammed her thighs together – and heard Kairi chuckle:

-          Too late, baka… I already know what you taste like!

Sakura shook her head vigorously denying this thought from entering her mind – this was too scandalous to think of! Too intimate… too hot… she wanted it too much! And Tendo was too good at giving her ideas:

-          Next time you invite me to the ‘cream party’, we’re skipping directly to desert…

Nanase moaned, feeling heat pulling in her abdomen again, collecting traces of pleasure lingering in her body. She opened her eyes bravely and caressed his chest, tracing the outlines of his abs down to the ridge of his pants. Kairi tensed at the touched and hissed at his lover:

-          Sakura, wait…

-          Why, sensei?

-          Because… um… Oh, for fuck’s sake!

He sat up, dropping her hands off his body and groaned in frustration, yanking his hair with both hands. Nanase set up too, covering her breast shyly with one hand and reaching out to him hesitantly:

-          What is it, sensei? Did I do something…?

Tendo didn’t let her finish and take blame for his own stupidity – he caught her hand, opened it and planted a kiss to her palm, cradling his face in it. Nanase felt he was burning up, tremors shaking his body in waves – yet he tried breathing deeply to calm down. Why?

-          Sensei?

Barely audibly he said, apologetically:

-          I didn’t take any condoms… it was just a Jenga game… And Ryuko is home, I can’t go there like this…

By the end of it Kairi was almost crying, letting go of fantasies of her body around him. Until she took his face in both her palms and raised it to look at him:

-          Sensei, we’re both healthy, we’d just had our medical checkups and…

-          Nanase, it’s not only for…

-          … and I’m on a pill.

Tendo gulped, his eyes widening with found possibilities. Nanase took it as a question and rushed to explain:

-          It’s the hormonal treatment for…

-          I don’t care, - Tendo fell onto her, knocking her to the floor and swallowing the rest of her explanation with a deep searing kiss.

He did care. Kairi made a mental note to check on her medical condition later, consult with doctor Akai, their hospital’s top gynecologist, on whether it was the best treatment plan for whatever ailed her… but not now… now he was unimaginably grateful for this stroke of luck because it meant he didn’t have to stop now.

Kissing her felt different now. Now Tendo knew what she tasted like and could feel the notes of her intimate taste all over her skin. The scent of her arousal, tangy and spicy, tickled his nostrils, making his head spin as if he was drunk. He was drunk, actually – drunk on her naked body, splayed so openly beneath him, drunk on her hands drawing patterns on his skin, drunk on her touch when Nanase reached out and took hold of his belt buckle…

-          May I? – she whispered, mirroring his words from before.

Tendo buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply and trying to calm the frenzy ranging in his chest. Was he ready for this? For her hands so close to where he wanted them the most? Would he be able to take it?

Having decide to test himself, Kairi stood up, taking Sakura by the hand to help her rise up. Sakura kneeled before him, sitting back on her heels, her hand reaching out to his belt again. Tendo nodded.

Sakura unbuckled the clasp, slightly surprised how smooth her movements were, as if she wasn’t shaking head to toe from the anticipation of what she was about to uncovered. Maybe, it was her medical training – she did undress people before, many times – or maybe she was already in the eye of the hurricane, where everything was deceptively calm and only whistling sound in her ears reminded her that she is about to be snatched off the ground into dangerous whirlwind of their combined passion. Shaking her head to focus on the task at hand, Sakura repeated Tendo’s approach from before, easing both his pants and underwear off his hips and letting them drop, pooling around his ankles. Kairi stepped out slowly and shoved the clothes aside – and stilled again. Sakura followed that movement and then raised her eyes up, slowly, admiring her sculpted calves, thighs and then…

Sakura saw naked men before; she was a nurse after all. But not anyone who was beautiful… and so visibly wanting. His male member throbbed and jumped a bit under her gaze, vain bulging alongside its very impressive length. Nanase suddenly felt her mouth watering just thinking of what it would taste like… if she were only to taste a little… just a tip…

Tendo’s hands, clenched in tight fists, were glued to his sides, stopping him from touching her. He waited for Sakura’s inspection to be over, giving her time to get used to him like this. But when he saw Nanase licking her lips, reaching out to him, to that part of him – he intersected her hand immediately! Sakura looked at him questioningly, her voice sounding from afar, as if she was lost in some hypnotic trance:

-          Why? I thought it was my turn…

Kairi saw a white light furiously flashing across his sight and his knees almost buckled. Her touch – he wanted it so much! But… but…

-          Because I would die, Nanase. I’ll explode…

She bit her lip, not sure what to do next. Tendo leaned in and raised Sakura by the waist, making her sit on the bed. Crouching before her, he kissed her lips, her arms, taking more time to thoroughly lavish her breasts in licks and kisses and bites – until her body relaxed from the disappointment of his refusal and she leaned back inviting him to continue. Tendo said softly, in between covering her skin with imprints of his mouths:

-          This time… I will… love you. Next time… you can… if you want to… love me.

Sakura didn’t quite understand that suggestion but was willing to go with whatever – as long as it meant this tension inside her kept rising as it did now… and long as his body was melting into hers like it did now… as long as his kisses were getting closer and closer to…

-          Agh… sensei… unnnn… what… aaaah… are…

-          Shh, Nanase… all of you… is mine.

Her taste was stronger than before, more vivid – it was burning him with white fire, bringing him pleasure he didn’t know was possible on the giving end of this play. Her fingers, lost in the trusses of his hair again, flexed in unison with her body movements, instinctive waves of her hips to press into his mouth. Tendo hummed and the vibrations translated into Sakura’s scream, broken and commanding:

-          More!

And this time, he had more! Kairi gave her one more wide lick and then covered her body, pressing Sakura into bed. Her legs circled his hips, aligning them perfectly, and they both felt when his hardness found an entrance to her wet softness. Tendo slowed down to a glacial pace, savoring the feeling of her body enveloping him, tugging him in, inviting… until he reached that resistance barrier, natural protective layer of her virginity. He tried warning her:

-          Nanase…

She nodded immediately and raised her hips as much as she could being weighted down by his body:

-          Come.

-          Nanase… it will…

-          I know.

-          Nanase… I can…

-          Kairi… come!

He wanted to say he could wait a little longer, letting her adjust to him. But hearing Sakura say his name, for the first time… exhaling it with so much love and tenderness… undid him. Tendo fell into her… her deep, waiting, accepting body, her warmth and passion… her whole self. His Sakura, his.

She jerked and he heard her whine. Something hot and wet touched his cheek, Tendo tuned and caught a glimpse of a single tear rolling down the side of her face before she looked away. Guilt took a squeezing hold of his heart for he has hurt the woman he loved, though it could’ve not been avoided. He pleaded, showering her face, her hair, her neck with kisses:

-          Nanase, my precious one, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… please, forgive me, please…

Tendo felt her arms enveloping him in embrace and rubbing soothing circles on his back – Sakura was consoling him! She smiled at him and he could almost believe that smile, if it wasn’t for the tension in her jaw from biting back the pain. Sakura said in overly calm tone:

-          Shh, sensei, I’m alright… it just… stings. I will be alright…

-          What can I do?

-          Move.

He was ready to be still for the rest of his life even if it killed him – so Tendo wasn’t expecting her command to move! He checked:

-          But wouldn’t it..?

-          It would… but it stings either way… and before… I liked it when you moved.

He needed no more invitations and permissions than that – instinct took over and lead him into rhythm, as old as time itself, picking up the pace when he felt Sakura respond to his thrusts with her own. At that moment only her body attached him to life, only she held the power to turn all of his pent-up frustration into pure blinding energy that drove him further, deeper, faster! He marched to the drum of pulse beating in his temples and to the sound of her cries, chanting his name with every breath… everything was there in his name falling off her lips – the urgency, the love, the explanation, the miracle… ‘Kairi… Kairi… Kairi… Kai... Kai... nnnnnn... Kai... ahhh... Kai... ohhhh... Kai... reeeee...'. And then he felt her tighten around him, her mouth falling open in a silent scream. So tight, so, so tight! Pulsing, wet, gliding, velvet… He should’ve stopped, should’ve waited – but then she commander again in the sweetest of commands:

-          Kairi… come.

One dive… another one… he heard her teeth rattle… another one… her nails dug into his asscheeks urging him to thrust impossibly deeper… one more, hard…  her bed shaking dangerously under his rush… and another, and another… And lightning struck through his spine! ..and the world seized to exist, and only blazing hot stream of energy rushed through his body, collecting everything he was to give to her! To press it into her, again and again, so he could stay in her forever, and be lifeless and alive in the same time! And be hers!

-          I love you, Sakura Nanase! I adore you, I worship you, I live and breathe you! Thank you… Oh, Nanase, thank you so much!

Her response was of a warm hug and a kiss to his chest. Few moments later her grip loosened and Tendo heard her breathing softly, evenly – his newly-made woman fell asleep. He carefully stood up, brought a warm wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaned them both up. Sakura didn’t even stir when Kairi freed the covers and blanket from underneath her. He chuckled softly at his sleeping beauty and joined her in that tiny bed of hers where two people would have to snuggle really tight not to fall off at night. Tendo was fine with that – he wasn’t planning to let her go anyways. Ever.

***   ***   ***

Tendo turned the corner and stopped, leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes, fighting off tangles of headache creeping up his skull. Today wasn’t that difficult from the work perspective, per se, his patients were going well all things considered, two new came in and preparation for scheduled surgeries was on the way. But something… something was just off.

He knew that the reason was Nanase. The fact that he’d upset her this morning and she’d ran away before he could apologize… The fact that she’d sent in his lunch with a sweet and cheerful note, but didn’t want to come personally… Kairi was obsessed with seeing her again to the point that he hallucinated her walking on the other end of the corridor – but when he ran up to the spot, she’d disappeared in the thin air, like mirage.

He hasn’t seen her in five days. Nurse Sakai got sick and Nanase agreed to change her shifts for night ones to help out. So, the only time they saw each other was during morning and evening check-ins, in the hospital, with other staff present.

Kairi missed her so much! Missed holding her small frame through the night, missed the smell of her hair, the brightness of her smile… His wife’s silly songs she’d made off recipes and were singing during cooking… Color pencils scattered on the floor and handmade brochures she prepared for her patients with post-surgery care routines lying around the apartment… Kairi missed her curious button nose that would get into anything he was reading and then Nanase would ask him a million distracting questions... but he also missed her attentive and proud eyes when she was listening to his responses. He missed her one-of-a-kind mind, her forgiving soul, her optimistic heart… his wife, Tendo Nanase.

And he’d also missed her body. The slopes and ridges, the depth of it, the taste, the scent… Just thinking of it made his body tense and his pants become uncomfortably tight. It’s only been five days… and they’d been married for five months… but there was no saturation with her, no ‘enough’, no ‘slowing down’ or ‘marriage routine’. Every day with her was a new handwritten page of happiness, every night was a study of passion and abandon. Kairi was addicted to his wife, and blissfully so. If was as if she was a hormone that his body wasn’t producing and was lacking all his life even without knowing. And then Nanase broke in, forcefully, with stubborn conviction – and his life finally tilted towards the happiness. She reminded him how to laugh, helped him to find his own heart and challenged a man in him. The challenge was to love Nanase so much that her first man would always be her only man – and she wouldn’t miss out on anything! And Kairi missed the challenge for five days now! In a row!

The first night when he came home, on Monday, Kairi realized Nanase wasn’t sleeping in their bed but rather on the couch. He called her up to ask for a reason… and his wife told him the bed was too big for her without him… and couch cushions smelled like him… because this is where he read. Kairi bit his lip and moaned silently, feeling his groin getting heavier and hotter. Later, he slept in their bed because sheets smelled of her, of her tangled dark hair that covered his face like a canopy when she rode him the night before, of her screams and bites, her uninhibited desire for him…

But now… he was losing her scent in their apartment… the sheets were too cold.

And tonight was her last night shift. Tomorrow was a weekend for both of them. Nanase will come home and he will wake up to the sound of her cooking or singing or both. And he will hold her in his arms and inhale her and everything will be all right again. Kairi just needed to survive till then.

***   ***   ***

Kairi looked at his watch – 5 pm. Two hours till the end of his shift, one hour till Nanase comes in for evening check-in, fourteen hours till she comes back home after her shift. He could make it because he would get to see her in an hour… just one hour.

Or not... Reacting to the screams and gurgling sounds in the nearby room, Tendo rushed in to find Nanase struggling to contain a male patient trashing on the bed. Two nurses quickly ran in past him, one adjusted patient’s IV drip, other injected something into his shoulder – and things quieted really quickly. Nanase let go of patient’s arms and turned to the chief nurse, not noticing Tendo standing behind her:

-          I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened! I was giving him his dinner and…

The fact that she was feeding the patient was very evident seeing how Nanase was covered in pieces of vegetables and stains of fruit tea that were served for dinner today. Chief nurse rushed to calm Nanase down, side-eyeing Tendo suspiciously because he still hasn’t announced his presence to his wife:

-          It’s ok, Nanase-chan, it’s not your fault, his anti-seizure meds weren’t adjusted yet, we’re waiting for Doctor Kisugi to come in later and do that. You should go and clean up before your shift starts. Why did you come so early anyways?

Nanase looked at the floor shyly and said:

-          It’s a… personal matter. I thought I’d help with dinner first and then go find Tendo-sensei and…

That’s when Kairi took his que and grabbed his wife by the forearm, tugging her towards him. Nanase looked up and shy delight crossed her face, leaving unmistakable blush behind. She bowed to him demurely:

-          Tendo-sensei, I’ll be at the evening check-in as soon as…

-          You have broccoli in your hair…

-          Yes, I’ll go take a shower and be back when…

-          I’ll take care of it. Come.

Tendo dragged his wife away from two nurses, smirking at him with knowing smiles. Nanase tried arguing, while almost running behind him to keep up with the pace:

-          Tendo-sensei, we have shower next to the nurses’ station, I can be back very quickly, I don’t want to impose on doctors’ premises.

-          That’s not where we’re going…

Nanase looked at him incredulously but Tendo paid no attention to her surprise while continuing to their destination, using the most inconspicuous of paths to avoid meeting more colleagues and more questions. As they walked, Nanase started to recognize the halls of this secluded and posh wing – and her suspicions were confirmed when Tendo opened and closed behind her a door to one of VIP suites. Nanase spooked and tried to rush out of the door:

-          Sensei, we can’t use VIP suites for showers! Mariko-san will not allow it! Nurses are sent to this wing only by assignment!

Tendo caught her by the shoulders and pressed her against the door. Nanase looked up, her mouth open to protest more – and all her protests drowned in the deep, hungry kiss her husband landed on her. Humming noise in the back of his throat vibrated through her body, making her weak in the knees – and if she weren’t being held up against the door by his strong hands, Nanase would probably have dropped. Something in her mind that was responsible for manners and propriety switched off, giving way to the wave of familiar anticipation. She moaned into his mouth, biting his lower lip a little and hearing him respond with sharp inhale. With visible difficulty, Tendo tore himself off his wife and rested his forehead on the door above her shoulder. He said, short of breath:

-          You aren’t here as a nurse… it’s still one hour till your shift… you’re here as my wife… and I have a privilege to come here whenever I wish to.

Nanase peeped from around his back and looked around the room. Tendo stepped away to give her a better overview, while trying to do some calming breathing exercises himself – while Nanase was technically not at work yet, he was and he needed to go back to his patients soon enough, before Koichi-kun comes in to change him.

Nanase walked around the room and noticed all the things that made this room different from lavish suites for VIP patients. First of all, it wasn’t all that lavish – furniture was much simpler than she’d remembered, fewer decorations, much smaller TV set and no vases with live flowers. The bed wasn’t one of the standard motorized hospital beds but rather simple-frame queen-size bed with few extra cushions. Overall, the room looked like a mix of a hotel room and an office, the office part represented by a big desk near a window which was obviously used by doctors since it was covered in piles of folders and X-ray files.

Nanase asked:

-          What is this room? Some… doctors’ lounge?

Tendo chuckled:

-          Not exactly, no. When this wing was refurbished for VIP suites, this room was deemed too small for the high standards of VIP patients, so hospital’s management decided to keep it for the doctors in charge. Today that’s me. We use it occasionally to work, research, take a shower or sleep, if time allows.

Nanase looked around and noticed the door that led to the bathroom. She suddenly remembered how silly she must look with patient’s dinner displayed all over her and started towards the door – and then stopped. Her eyes darted between bathroom and exit door and back. Tendo asked:

-          What? You don’t have to worry, nobody would walk in, it can only be open with our badges. There’s also a latch on the bathroom door, if you want to use it…

-          That’s not it… My spare uniform is in my locker, I need to go take it.

Tendo nodded but stopped Nanase when she tried to walk out:

-          You go take your shower, I’ll bring your things and get back to my patients. There is shower gel and shampoo on the stall, towels are in the cupboard by the door. I’ll be back soon!

And with that Kairi landed a quick chaste kiss on his wife’s forehead and left the room, covering the distance in wide strides to come back faster. Nanase sighted with a tinge of disappointment – she was hoping for more time with her husband when she came to work earlier, but, alas, her unfortunate incident derailed her plans. She made a quick work of undressing, folding her uniform neatly and going into bathroom. The shower stall was a standard edition for medical facilities, with sturdy railings on two levels and spray nuzzles from top to bottom for stimulating massage, if needed. And while Nanase wouldn’t mind a massage this time to relieve her of coiling tension inside, she didn’t want to overstep the hospitality of this secret lounge. Her shower would be quick and efficient!

Meanwhile, Tendo thought along the same lines – that his wife will be in and out in a split second – so he rushed to get her things before she had to come out of the shower… draped in a towel only… warm and wet… focus, Kairi!

Easier said than done! Images rushed through his mind, offering all the ways he could help her shower, to make sure that all her hidden spots were well taken care of and…

-          Tendo-kun! Just the man I was looking for!

Kairi turned around and stumbled upon seeing Koichi’s smiling face, while his fellow doctor approached to greet him. Tendo responded automatically, still trying to focus his gaze and shake off the effects of feverish daydreaming. He looked at his watch and said:

-          I need to take Nanase’s spare uniform and then I’d be back to brief you about…

-          Yeah, I know, Kaori-san valve repair prep and Nakoishi-san pacer implant surgery. Mariko-san already gave me all the charts, I’m fully up to speed! So, unless there’s something else you want to tell me… you’re off duty as of now!

And he winked at Kairi. He winked at him! Tendo frowned and stepped back, as if from a blow… Was he THAT obvious? Did the entire hospital know that he was a horny idiot obsessed with his wife? Was there a conspiracy to get him laid?!

He was supposed to be offended at that prospect, outraged even! But at that moment, all he could hear was ‘it’s still an hour till her shift starts… and she’s still in the shower… shower…’.

Tendo nodded, rushed to grab Nanase’s clothes and flat our ran back to the VIP wing at full speed. He thought he’d heard a choir of chuckles and quiet laughs from nurses’ station – but he couldn’t care less! His image be damned – he was, after all, horny idiot obsessed with his wife!

***   ***   ***

Nanase was absolutely planning to get out of the shower any minute now… but the hot water was so soothing and energizing in the same time, massaging her stiff shoulders with high-pressure streams. She’d heard her husband come into the room again and cried out to him:

-          Sensei, I’ll be out soon! Please, leave my uniform and get back to your patients! I’ll be fine here!

She stretched, checking how her muscles relaxed, and rinsed her hair once again. Nanase turned her head to face the water, her eyes closed and her lips smiling – she just loved hot showers very much. She’d found the faucet by touch and before she could turn it off, a strong hand stopped her, other circled her waist and pressed her to the obviously naked male body and a familiar voice whispered to her ear:

-          Don’t. I need a shower too.

Her rational mind reminded her about time, schedules, something-something… But her female body swayed into him, feeling him grinding back into her. Tendo let go of her hand and caught one of her nipples between his fingers, tuning it up to the sensitive aroused state. His whisper came between bites of her neck and shoulder:

-          You know, personal hygiene is a very serious matter in medical profession. I do need to make sure that you are clean here… - he followed the outline of her breast, then the other, - … here… - his hand trailed back down, his nails sliding across her wet skin, - and here too…  - Tendo’s fingers split the hair in the apex of her thighs and slipped in, circling, teasing.

Nanase grabbed the railing in front of her with one hand and Tando’s wet hair above her with another and held on for the sensual assault. Her lover knew what he was doing – his exceptional mind, when focused on her body, was inventive, generous and wicked! Nanase felt dizzy and inflamed and this time it had nothing to do with a fog of hot air around her and water running down her body. One last rational thought escaped almost involuntary:

-          Your shift…

He buckled into her, making Nanase lose balance and stumble forward, almost hitting the metal railing she was holding. Kairi held her back, using the hand that was buried knuckles deep into her body to anchor her back to him. Nanase cried out and he repeated the motion again, and again. When he hissed his answer into her hair, Nanase was too far gone past remembering her question at all:

-          Another doctor already took over. We have time…

Something flashed inside Nanase, an understanding, a memory… There was something she liked doing when they had time. A reckoning…

Nanase took all of her will power – and physical strength – to push herself off the glass wall in front of her. She unclutched Tendo’s hands holding her in place, whining momentarily on the loss of the fullness and heat his fingers provided. Nanase turned around and faced him, her gorgeous demi-god husband, built of steel and velvet… and desire. She pushed back, and back – until Tendo stopped at the opposite glass wall, awkwardly placing his elbows on the upper railing. He looked at her surprised, but aroused and willing to go wherever this was leading to. Nanase smiled – her special smile that meant so many things now – and told him, touching her fingers to his upper arms:

-          Hold on. Don’t let go.

He nodded automatically thinking of what she may be planning – and then there was no thinking possible! Nanase’s lips landed everywhere on his skin, licking off droplets of water, biting across sensitive spots, soothing bite marks with wide strokes of her tongue… Her hands caressed his body, explored with soft touches, marked with red lines, loved him, worshiped… When Nanase went down on her knees, Tendo groaned and threw his head up, feeling heat wash over him from inside… and when she took him into her mouth and sucked in the whole length of his shaft… Tendo saw stars! Her wet lips, the perfect pressure, just the right rhythm… his body was no longer his, coiling numbness was taking over, turning off circuits in his body and his brain… He missed her so much!

With the last tendrils of sanity escaping him, Tendo begged:

-          Nanase, please…

She released him with a plop and asked, kissing his thigh and continuing her rhythm with the palm of her hand:

-          Yes, anata?

Kairi bent over and grabbed her by the waist, turning around and hoisting her up on the lower level railing. She circled her legs around him and locked them behind his back, catching Kairi and tugging him close to her body. He kissed her, hungrily, urgently… then begged again:

-          Say it…

-          What, anata? What should I say, Kairi?

And there it was – those special words that drove him crazy! Because he knew how many barriers had to melt in Nanase’s mind for her to call him by the name, to address him as ‘husband’… and he did this to her! She was his – ripe, willing, ready to be taken, ready to take him too!

Invitation was so close… Unmistakable scent that was not washed away by shower but only amplified by the steamed glass compartment… slick wetness where their bodies longed to be connected… her lips and her whimpers on the base of his neck… and her searching hands, digging nails into his asscheeks to bring him home.

-          Kairi, please…

He plunged deep, reaching the core of her female self in one go! Plunging in and out with a force that could easily shutter the tempered glass behind her back – for every night he’d spent without her, for every time his fingers flexed to find her body in the darkness and didn’t, for every time he couldn’t remember her scent… There were many, many times like this and so he worked them all out into her, into her accepting body, her unreserved screams, her ‘more’ and ‘harder’!

It was too much too fast for him! He waited for so long! Numbness took over again, flowing from where their bodies connected to the outsides of his body and beyond. Kairi cried out her name and heard her whisper ‘five’. Four… three… two… one!!! His wife convulsed around him, froze for a moment and then fell apart with a low, almost pained scream! Her body sucked him in… three… two… one!!! And he followed! Ignited nerves exploding, heart jumping out of his chest and everything around him turning into blissful darkness, filled with her satisfied humming and the sound of running water…

***   ***   ***

When his vision cleared, Kairi found himself sitting on the shower floor, his wife still circling his hips, smiling at him mischievously. Nanase kissed his nose and said:

-          Anata… long time no see!

Kairi groaned – his wife would be the death of him! But, on a plus side, he’d die a very happy man! His usual cold-blooded demeanor creeped back into steamy bathroom and he said:

-          Only you would joke like that in this situation! Baka!

Nanase waved him off and stood up carefully, holding the railing not to slip up on the wet floor. She picked up the shower gel and washcloth and handed them to Kairi:

-          Since you here, you can help me wash my back, I couldn’t reach it before…

Her voice was so seductively nonchalant, Tendo chuckled. He loved these short periods right after lovemaking when his wife was still riding the hormone rush and her inhibitions and self-imposed limits didn’t apply. With time, these periods became longer, and his wife was getting bolder with him, going as far as calling him by the name even outside their bedroom! That only happened few times but Kairi was willing to put in whatever effort it took – especially considering he enjoyed the effort itself beyond comprehension! His favorite treatment plan ever!

Kairi helped Nanase wash up and she did the same for him, taking time to be tender and soft with each other, sharing smiles and small kisses. When they came out, Nanase changed into her spare uniform and went to the fridge to fish out some water. She brought him a bottle too and made sure he drank up all of it. While dressing up, Tendo noticed that something changed in his wife’s demeanor – something awkward, uncertain… reserved?

His morning behaviour came to mind and Tendo opened his mouth to apologise – when Nanase dragged him by the sleeve to sit on the couch.

-          Kairi, we need to talk.

He dreaded this talk, but it was necessary. He just hoped that her responsiveness before meant she would forgive him soon.

-          Nanase, about today, I was wrong, I shouldn’t have…

Tendo tried to speak fast, to get as much of his apologies out before his wife’s too-forgiving heart will absolve him of all sins, as she usually did. But that wasn’t what she’d interrupted him with.

-          It’s not about today. I mean, it is, in a way, but it’s not your fault, it’s mine. Well… yours too, but mostly mine.

She nodded and stayed with lowered head, observing her hands clutched together. Tendo sat closer, taking her hands into his and kissing them, knuckle by knuckle.

-          Nanase, I should not have scolded you. I upset you and made you run away from me.

His wife raised her head and looked him in the eyes, her expression perplexed. She looked up, as if remembering something, then back at him with a smile:

-          Ananta, it’s not why I ran away. I just didn’t want you to see me get sick, I didn’t feel well this morning.

-          Sick? Nanase, what’s wrong? How are you feeling? Have you been to the doctor? Should we go now?

-          Shh, I’m fine. Yes, I’ve been to the doctor, today, when I brought you lunch.

So, he did see her in the corridor today, it’s wasn’t a hallucination! But… but…

-          Why didn’t you come see me right after? What did the doctor say?

Nanase smiled again and kissed his fingers wrapped around her hands.

-          I wanted to come, but first there was an appointment with Akai-san, then blood tests, then ultrasound… When I was done, I came here but you were already in the OR so I left to prepare for my shift.

Tendo huffed with irritation:

-          Nanase, the timeline was clearly not the most important part of my question! What did Akai-san say? Is your hormonal treatment not working? What were the blood tests about? What should I know? Say it already!

Nanase chewed on her lower lip and looked away – her tell for immense insecurity – and then took something out of her pocket and handed it over to Kairi.

Kairi unfolded few sheets of paper with hospital header on them – blood test, diagnosis, ultrasound results… On top of it all, attached by the staple, there was a small rectangular picture with classic ultrasound triangle. With shades, and echos… and one unmistakable white dot. Numbers ran in front of his eyes… sizes, estimated gestation period, heartbeat rate… His little white dot has already had a heartbeat!

Papers spilled out to the floor and Tendo didn’t even notice. He looked at his wife with unblinking eyes and whispered hoarsely:

-          Are you… pregnant?

Nanase nodded, her pale face looking so lost and guilty now! She rushed into explanation:

-          I didn’t think it was it, I thought that was just aftereffect from switching to new treatment! Sensei, I know, you didn’t plan for this, I didn’t want to put you in this position…

-          Treatment…

-          Yes, Akai-san said it’s practically impossible that such treatment could result in pregnancy but then…

-          No, Nanase, listen! – Kairi shook her by the shoulders, his voice frantic, - did you cancel the treatment? You were taking it this whole time! Can it harm our baby?!

-          Our… baby?

Nanase looked at him, his worried eyes, his trembling lips – and realization dawned on her! Her smile rose above them like a rainbow, happy, unreserved, eternal! She touched her fingers to his furrowed brow and asked:

-          So… you want it?

Tendo brows furrowed further but this time with different question in mind!

-          Do I want it? Nanase, you loveable idiot! Of course, I want our baby! How could you possibly think anything else?!

-          Well, we haven’t discussed it… and it wasn’t in your plan…

-          What plan, Nanase? There was no plan before you! You are the plan! And whatever comes from you, around you and for you – it is my plan!

He hugged her to his chest tightly and Nanase heard his heart thundering in his chest in unison with quickened breathing. His lips whispered something into her hair, but she couldn’t make out the words. Then Kairi tore her away from him again and ask anxiously:

-          The treatment? Will it harm the baby?

Nanase smiled and bent over to pick up the scattered papers. She found the right one and showed it to her husband:

-          According to this, our baby is a fighter! If treatment did not deter the consumption, then the treatment would have no effect on early gestation, especially, since I stopped it already. The baby is fine, Kairi, all the results are normal for our 6-weeks old sweet pea!

Sweet pea! Their baby had a size and a heartbeat, and it was fine and healthy and growing inside the woman he loved! Kairi hugged her again, sitting her comfortably on his lap, because he wasn’t planning to let her go for a long time, her shift and schedule all but forgotten! He wanted to talk to her… ask her about morning sickness that she was apparently hiding from him… if she had any cravings yet because Kairi wanted her to have them so he could satisfy the littlest of her needs… if she wanted a boy or a girl – but he already knew Nanase would say ‘as long as it’s healthy and happy’… they needed to discuss buying a house because they weren’t raising a family in his old bachelor apartment!.. he wanted to talk baby names…

Kairi wanted to keep them safe and comfortable in the protective shield of his body, to let Nanase know how much he loved and cherished her and their baby – his two 0,0001% impossible miracles! As they set there, him whispering soft words of love into her smiling lips, Tendo saw in her bright eyes how his life was expanding, to encompass him and his wife and all the possibilities and surprises, and all the promises he was about to make, and all the changes he was so looking forward to right now! And all thanks to her, his shining wife, little brave hero who fought her way through his darkness and thorns – to give him acceptance, hope, happiness, and, eventually, life!

And to him there was no doubt that love like this will last forever…

[otome-writer51]

A Ninja’s Kin

Hey guys!!!!!! It has been a long time since I’ve posted a story. I’ve been lacking motivation, but I am back with a piece dedicated to the lovely @raisukemerch. I had this amazing woman as my person in the writers/artist exchange in @voltage-vixen Kings of Paradise server. Thank you so much Kristen for organizing this whole entire event. It was so much fun to write something for someone, and getting to understand their favorite character(s). Also for just being the amazing, crazy, kind person you are!!!!!!!!! I might have went a little crazy Bunny, but it was all worth it!!!!! Writing this piece for you helped me develop a closer bond as friends with you, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. You also got me addicted to SLBP; which I was hesitant to play because I wasn’t a fan of SAC. I will thank you forever for getting me hooked on this game!!!!!! I got to writing and I just couldn’t stop; it’s a bit longer than you were probably expecting, but YOU DESERVE ALL OF IT YOU AMAZING HUMAN!!!!! You are the best merch dealer on the planet, and you have the most amazing chicken!!!!!!!!!!! I know you have already read it in a PDF on the server, but it needs to go here so everyone can see how badass you and your family are, and how cute you and Saizo are of course!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoy it even more here on Tumblr!!!!!! I LOVE YOU BUNNY SO MUCH!!!!!!!! YOU ARE TRULY SAIZO’S LITTLE LADY!!!!!!!

Now onto the many many many thanks I have to give. I want to say thank you to @leoamber66 and @voltage-vixen for helping me get this spot on. I just started playing this game, and didn’t know everything I needed to do Saizo justice. You both helped me with that, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! Also thank you so much Kristen for helping me with Saizo at the ending. You are the only person that has read the original version of the ending, and I am so glad you read it, and gave me feedback. I originally was only going to fix it, but after talking with you I realized it needed a complete overhaul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lastly I want to give SUPER GINORMOUS THANKS TO @the-voltage-diaries(Zela) and @awesomeallseeingeye(Kay)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First off, Zela made this beautiful edit to go with this novel, and it is absolutely amazing!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for the POV banner, it adds a certain magic that it didn’t have before. These two outstanding ladies were with me the most while I was writing this piece. They both edited the whole entire thing to make it perfection!!!!!!!! When one of them went to sleep it was time for the other to wake up; and they helped me so much, even though they did not have to!!!!!!!! This piece would not be the way it is now without the two of you guys!!!!! THANK YOU ZELA AND KAY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!! Also all the laughs we shared typing back and forth on the document will stay with me forever, I will never forget them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go give all these wonderful folks some love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now without further ado I present to you Bunny’s amazing family!!!! (It is in five parts to avoid having over 10,000 words on one post).

“Ha! Haru, you need to square up your shoulders to your target more if you ever want to beat me,” my oldest boy, Takeshi, chided his younger brother on his form. He had him in a compromising position to say the least, until Haru gracefully moved out of his clutches.

“I will beat you, with my shoulders squared or not,” my much younger boy growled at his older brother, knocking heads and giving him a death glare. You would think Haru was going to win this round, with how much anger he spat those words at Takeshi.

‘They get more competitive everyday,’ I giggled to myself, thinking. They were fiercely competitive, just like their father, but perhaps not as competitive as…

“Hi-ya!” Tackling both boys to the ground was my beautiful daughter Sakura. My oldest boy may be an exact copy of his father, but Sakura definitely inherited his sneaky side.

She flung herself down from a tree ending any kind of dispute between the two brothers that was sure to continue if she hadn’t.

“You both need to work on your spatial awareness if you ever want to dream of beating me.” Rising elegantly to her feet, she scolded them with so much sass I couldn’t help but be proud of her. She turned around with a quick whip of her long flowing hair, leaving both of her brothers on the ground, in a heap of grumbling mess.

“I see you have yet to outgrow your love for trees, honey,” I spoke sweetly to my girl.

She looked up at me with those big round eyes and said, “If daddy still likes trees at his age I never have to out grow trees, mommy,” punctuating ‘mommy’ in a way that was unnecessary.

I knew she would never lose her passion for trees, not when Saizo took her up one everyday to read her tales.

She walked over to the veranda in hopes of snuggling my beloved Yogurt until his eyes popped out of his head. “YOGURT!!!” She reached down to pick up the chicken and squeezed him with all her might.

“Cock-a-doodle-doo!!!!” Yogurt exclaimed at the top of his lungs.

I put a hand to my face and let out a laugh. That poor chicken, his eyes were practically bulging out of his head.

With a sigh I was about to tell her to ease up on the love fest when a snarky voice called out, “Well if she ever wanted to truly defeat me she would have outgrown her idiotic delusions that she can turn her back on the enemy.”

Barreling ahead at full speed with his wooden sword above his head, Takeshi closed in on his little sister. Sakura dropped Yogurt in shock, and he hurriedly ran away, cowering under a nearby log.

Sakura tried to defend herself but she was a second too late. Takeshi already had her in his vice grip, his sword resting across her throat. “See? We both knew you could never best me.”

Pursing her pretty pink lips, Sakura desperately tried to escape his hold.

It was a test between siblings. A passion burned in their eyes, much like the way their father’s gleamed when he went into battle.

‘They are for sure his children alright.’

Everything was just the way it should be, except for one little rascal, who was missing from this picture.

“Hey don’t you dare talk to my big sister like that!” Deciding his presence couldn’t be excluded from this party anymore, Haru sped over like a torpedo ready to show his big brother what happens when you mess with his big sister.

This was only meant to be a light training session. Of course it wouldn’t turn out that way though, these were mine and Saizo’s children after all, and it was escalating quickly.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!” Brandishing his own training sword above his head just like his brother did only moments before, Haru lunged at Takeshi. In one swift movement, pushing his sister aside, Takeshi side-stepped Haru’s advances and flipped him over, back onto the ground to join his sister. “Uggggghh,” spread eagle on the ground, Haru moaned in pain. Sakura rubbed her butt, trying to ease the dull ache from her fall.

Proudly sheathing his training sword in his belt, Takeshi walked over to where Yogurt was to sooth the frightened chicken. Getting down on his knees, he held his hand out to him, “Come on, Yogurt, it’s safe to come out. That bad girl can’t hurt you anymore.”

“You see, this is why I like Haru more than you,” Sakura grimaced, gesturing to Haru, who finally was able to sit up after the ordeal he just went through. Now they were both glaring at Takeshi, who had finally managed to get Yogurt to come out of his hiding spot.

‘I think I should intervene before this gets out of control, but they are so adorable I can’t,’ Is all I could think as I watched my three young children bicker back and forth.

“You two are just jealous you are not as awesome as me,” Takeshi puffed out his eleven year old chest proudly, smirking at his younger siblings.

“Okay, okay,” I said, deciding to intervene now, “that is enough, you three. Come, let us go prepare dinner, your father should be finished with his meeting soon,” I ordered, speaking authoritatively to my rambunctious lot.

“Of course, mommy. Can we prepare him dango? Daddy loooooves dango!!!” Sakura pleaded cutely, looking up at me with her puppy-dog eyes, pulling on my robes.

“Is there any other option?” I asked with a knowing smile, taking my daughter’s hand in mine. “Come, you boys, let’s go,” I said, looking at my other two kids, only to realize my words fell on deaf ears, for my boys had their own plans in mind.

Takeshi was still standing triumphantly, petting Yogurt, while Haru was fuming at his obnoxious older brother. “Aren’t older brothers supposed to be people younger brothers look up to? If so, you are the worst older brother ever.” Stomping his little foot, Haru balled his hands up into tiny fists at his sides, giving his brother the look of a predator.

“Oh, stop being a wimp, Haru. You lost fair and square. You just need to face it; I’ve got five years on you and will always be ahead of you,” Takeshi taunted with a smirk, challenging his little brother.

“Takeshi, Haru do not speak to each other that way!” I scolded my children, an undertone of anger in my voice.

But of course, they did not hear me. Instead, Haru leaned down and picked up his weapon again, looking ready to kill. “YOU GET READY! I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW ON THE SAME LEVEL WE ACTUALLY ARE!” Haru shouted, dashing forward at an incredibly fast speed… only to be met with a strong hand holding him in place.

“Are you joking right now? Is that seriously the best you’ve got?” Holding Haru with one hand to his forehand, and Yogurt in the other, it seemed like a walk in the park for my eldest son. Putting Yogurt down, Takeshi ripped Haru’s wooden blade out of his hand.

“Urrrgh. I am so going to get you!” Haru yelled at Takeshi, swinging his arms wildly to try and strike a hit on him, but to no avail.

“You boys!” I said, raising my voice at the ridiculousness of my sons, “STOP IT NOW.” ‘Did things always get like this when Saizo was training them?’ Sighing to myself, I let go of my daughter’s hand and marched right over to them.

“You poor thing. Watch and learn how the real men do it,” said Takeshi, and in the blink of an eye, he let go of Haru and swiped the sword right through his legs, knocking him on his back for the third time that day. “I. TOLD. YOU. Maybe one day you might achieve this level of awesomeness,” laughed Takeshi, holding his brother's sword high in the air, striking a pose. It was in his gloating that he did not realize he left himself so utterly exposed.

Grabbing the sword on his brother's belt, Haru used this golden moment to nail Takeshi. Blindly swinging his weapon upwards, he missed his brother's arm, instead hitting his sword and knocking it over the fence. He stood tall, eyeing his brother and even though he didn’t land a direct hit, anything was better than nothing.

“Haru, you idiot,” muttered the elder, “now the sword is all the way over there.” Grabbing his little brother by the collar, he got dangerously close to his face. Haru was, at this point, sweating, but he wouldn’t dare let Takeshi have the joy of knowing how he made him nervous. Ready to give him a piece of his mind, the elder raised his fist.

“Takeshi. Haru.” I called out, standing right in front of them. They froze at the chilly tone my voice had taken. My boys finally both seemed to notice my presence. Their heads turned in unison to witness the anger apparent on my face. I was seething. ‘Oh, how dare they ignore me.’

They both let go of each other and stood as still as statues, facing me. “Ye-yes, m-m-mother?” they whispered nervously. I could tell they were frightened, for it was one thing for Saizo to get mad, but when they made me mad, they knew just how bad they had really messed up.

With them fidgeting nervously in front of me, I finally had their full attention, so I spoke, “What is the matter with you two? I told you that was enough for today. When I told you to come, you did not come; in fact you ignored me and continued your mindless bickering. I have never seen the two of you act so hostile towards each other. You both wish to become great ninjas, but you will never with the way you are acting. I am very, very deeply disappointed with the both of you. Your father would be very disappointed with you two as well,” I said, shaking my head, “Do you hear me?”

Hanging their heads in shame, they kicked the rocks at their feet, twiddling their thumbs.

They did not answer me, and so I questioned again, louder, “Do you hear me?” The air outside dropped 30 degrees at my icey tone.

“Ye-yes m-mo-mother,” they nervously looked up at me, answering, afraid for their little lives. Any of the bravery they showed before was long gone now.

“You two are to go to bed with no supper after you finish cleaning all this mess up from your so-called ‘training’. I want it to be spotless out here. I want the dirt and grass so clean you can eat off of them.” I barked at them, too angry with them to tolerate any of their bitching, which they so happened to deliver.

Takeshi was the first to speak, “But mom that’s not fair! It is going to take hours to clean all of this up. Not just our training, but everyone else’s too! I hardly th-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, young man.”

He snapped his mouth shut, shrinking back to the same cowering little boy he was moments before.

“Hahaha!” I heard Sakura snickering in the background.

I snapped my head around to her, “Sakura, I kindly advise you to keep your mouth shut as well, unless you wish to aid your brothers in cleaning, with no dinner.” Her big beautiful eyes went as wide as saucers. She quickly shut her mouth, her eyes suddenly seeming to find the floor of the veranda very charming.

Letting out a frustrated groan, I turned back to my boys. “Haru, go get that sword you knocked over the fence, now. Take the long way around as well. It will give you time to think about what you have done,” I spat at my baby, who had tears forming in the corners of his eyes. At this point, I just wanted to hug him and wipe those tears away, but now was not the time.

“Hahaha,” now Takeshi was the one snickering.

Glaring, I doubled down on his punishment, “You better have half of this courtyard spotless by the time he gets back, boy.”

“But-! Mom, I can’t poss-” He groaned to me, but I cut him off with a tone that demanded no response, and a glare that had the potential to pierce one’s soul.

“TAKESHI.” He bit back his words letting a small, ‘Yes, mother,’ before he dashed off to start cleaning. I turned to Haru, “What are you waiting for? Go get that sword before the sun goes down.” With that, he scampered off, not because he wanted to make it back before sunset, but because he didn’t wish for me to see his tears.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

[sakura-blossom28]

Heartbroken

Finished this wayyy sooner than I ever thought I would.  Finally some new characters and not as sappy.  Just projecting what I hope happens in the future.  And of course finally some Gaara. Worried he’ll seem out of character too. Let me know what you think! Part 1 /

Sakura was in a good place.  Spring was finally here!  The dead of winter was over, and she was leaving painful memories behind.  She was finally ready to start again.  The cold months turned into bright sunny days that thawed out the growing flowers, reminding Sakura of her gown growth.  Her days passed without much going on, but some days were filled with laughter because of Naruto and Hinata.  The days that she spent with them were her favorite. They would spend nights together in Naurto’s tiny apartment watching as many movies as they could, baking a million treats, and just talking to help Sakura heal. 

Hinata knew how important time away from boys was for Sakura, so she made sure to give her much needed girl time.  They went shopping, stayed up some nights just talking about everything and nothing, and just spent needed time together.  Hinata was a true friend to Sakura.  Anything that Sakura needed, Naruto and Hinata were there for her.  Any time she felt the need to talk after a hard day or wanted to share any good news, those two were there for her.  

Between the times that both Naruto and Hinata were busy, which was pretty regularly since Sakura had long days in the surgery center, she had to entertain herself.  This was the hard part, but Sakura started to enjoy her time alone.  She found that there was a lot to learn about herself.  Baking was one of her favorite things to do.  Naruto and Hinata loved it when she baked the day before they were supposed to hang out.  At the bottom of her list was exercising.  Working out by herself just wasn’t as fun.  She was making some progress, her energy was way up, but she didn’t look any different.  Maybe she should take a class…

XxX

One night Hinata and Sakura were hanging out at Naruto’s apartment.  It was just like any other night when there was a knock on the door. 

“Oh good, they’re finally here!” Naruto exclaimed as he jumped off the couch and Hinata followed.  Sakura thought that it was just going to be the 3 of them as usual.  She wasn’t particularly dressed nicely to meet new people.  Just her usual t-shirt and work out pants, even though she didn’t work out that day.  

Her color had been better since the breakup and she was starting to feel okay.  No word from Sasuke in the months, but she didn’t expect him to.  She could finally think about him and not miss him like she used to.  Dating was still off the table for her, she just didn’t have the desire to open herself up to someone new. Sakura was still trying to find out more about herself. She needed to think more about what she really wanted from a relationship.  Plus the dating scene was just so exhausting.  She and Hinata had spent hours and hours on dating apps with no luck whatsoever.  Mostly it was just fun seeing what guys would post thinking it would help them get a date.  

At the door, there was a big commotion mixed with different voices that Sakura had never heard.  She noticed a male and female voice that she didn’t recognize.  As they walked into the living room where Sakura was she saw who Naruto and Hinata invited in.  

A tall man with brown hair in a ponytail walked in with a woman with blonde hair, they both looked happy and friendly as they chatted with Naruto and Hinata.  

Oh good, they look like they’re dating, was the first thought that popped into Sakura’s mind.  Even though Naruto knew how she felt about dating at this point, it still didn’t stop him from trying to set her up with some of his friends.  Thankfully Hinata was there to steer him in the right direction.  A few times Naruto invited other friends over while Sakura and Hinata were spending time together.  Only one guy that Naruto brought around was stuck in her mind, and not for a good reason.  Lee was kind and sweet, but so intense.  It reminded Sakura that she was so not ready to be dating just yet.  

“Sakura! Sakura! This is my good friend Shikamaru! And his girlfriend Temari! They just got back from vacation!” Naruto said as they all settled on the couches.  

They exchanged their pleasantries and Shikamaru and Temari went into their story about their trip.  He seemed very laid back and she was full of energy, polar opposites, but they looked happy and comfortable with each other.  At one point Sakura thought this is how people must think about her and Sasuke, but she was so wrong.  Shaking her head slightly she focused back onto their words.  

The evening was enjoyable, better than she would have thought if she was told she would spend her night being the fifth wheel.  Temari seemed like the kind of person that Sakura could be friends with.  She was easy going but still fun and feisty.  

“Hey, Sakura, I’m going to visit Temari at her job tomorrow and then hang out. Want to join us for a little girl’s night?” Hinata asked as the conversation was dying down.  

“Sure! I don’t have any plans tomorrow," Sakura wouldn’t turn down a girl’s night for anything.  

“Cool! Do you know the tattoo shop around the corner?” Temari said as she moved over to the couch that Sakura and Hinata were sitting on.  

“Oh yeah! Isn’t that where we went to get your ears pierced a few weeks ago?” Sakura asked.  “Are you a tattoo artist there?”

“Yeah! My brother was probably the guy who did the piercing! We run the shop with a few other people but we’re mostly in charge,” Temari said with a proud grin.  

Sakura couldn’t really remember because she made it a rule to not look at any guy who was remotely close to her age.  She had the bad habit of developing little crushes on any guy who makes eye contact with her.  To focus on herself Sakura could not afford to get attached to anyone while she was getting over Sasuke.  That guy Lee really helped with keeping her focus on herself.  

“Okay so we’ll meet up at 7, my other brother owes me a favor so he’s closing the shop for me,” Temari said smugly.  

“Ugh if you guys are having a girls night I’m gonna take advantage of a quiet apartment,” Shikamaru said from under his arm as he stretched out on the other couch since Temari moved.  

“Oh, you would just love that!” Temari quickly turned on her boyfriend, “Now I’m gonna get drunk and you’ll have to deal with me.”  Shikamaru went stiff, but then quickly relaxed. 

“Fine do what you want,” he said with a smile and Temari laughed too.  Sakura felt a twinge of jealousy at how easy their relationship is.  Had she ever been like that with Sasuke?  With both of them looking happy?  Before her thoughts could upset her and send her spiraling, Sakura felt Hinata gently grab her hand without breaking her conversation with Naruto.  Sakura gave her a small squeeze back as a silent thank you.  

Their plans were set for the next day, meeting up, grabbing some food, and maybe some light shopping.  Sakura could handle that. 

XxX

The tattoo parlor was the same as Sakura remembered. Artwork all over the wall from past clients and well sat in chairs showing how much business the shop did.  The theme was mostly purple and black, but the room was still light and open.  There were chairs and tables that people could get their tattoos and where Hinata got her piercing, while towards the back was an office and rooms for more private tattoos.  

Temari was running back and forth from the front desk and the back office.  She seemed to be yelling at someone. 

"Kankuro I swear if we miss one phone call because of you I'll beat you!" Temari screamed into the office.  They could only hear a low grumbling as a response.  

Temari finally turned towards them and smiled brightly which seemed to be her style.  

"Hey guys! Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm just trying to make closing as easy as possible for them." She then continued to organize the large counter that was past the seating area.  Hinata went over to help Temari while Sakura wandered around the room looking at the artwork.  

Sakura had always admired tattoos and their artist.  Secretly she always wanted a tattoo but couldn't set her heart on anything.  Doodling was the best she could do, and it amazed her that all this work could be done on flesh, the hardest canvas to work on in her mind.  She found different designs, people and flowers mostly up on the wall. 

What really caught her eye was a few sketches that were in a notebook sitting on a low counter.  No color, just all pencil work.  There were people and animals, but mostly small bites of different things like eyes and hands that this person seemed to practice a lot.  It was mesmerizing to see how lifelike everything was. Sakura was so caught up in the book that she didn't notice the front door of the shop open.  

The person immediately walked towards Sakura without her knowing.  They were about to grab the book right out of her hand, but paused at seeing how content she was looking at the pictures.  She had a slight smile on her face as she traced the lines of a pair of eyes filled with sadness.  Curious, the person quietly moved around her towards the end of the counter to face away from her. 

"Gaara there you are! Okay everything is done for you, you just need to turn all the lights off when you're done.  My appointment book is here in case someone comes in, but otherwise you should be fine!" At the sound of Temari's voice Sakura broke out of her trance and walked over towards them.  

Sakura noticed someone at the end of the counter but his back was turned towards her. He had dark red hair, seemed tall but he was leaning on the counter and clearly went to the gym.  Ugh the gym, she thought to herself.  This must be Temari's other brother that she mentioned yesterday. 

Gaara didn't seem to notice their presence because he never turned around to look at them. Temari didn't seem to mind that he wasn't answering, it must be a sibling thing. Sakura took one last look around the tattoo shop as they were walking out.  Right at the door was a huge cork board filled with different flyers and business cards. A bright pink flyer caught Sakura's eye.  

Big bold letters said kickboxing right at the top followed more information. All different levels were offered, even just a women's class. This was perfect! The less males to stare at the better.  She took the small flyer off the board and folded it up and stuck it into her purse. If Sakura had looked up, she would have seen the look of shock that was all over Gaara's face. 

XxX

Sakura quietly made her way to the back seat of Hinata's car, not noticing the excited faces of the other two girls.  She buckled herself in before she even saw their faces which seemed to be bursting at the seams with how they were smiling. She gave a nervous chuckle. 

"Why are you guys smiling like that? You both look crazy," Sakura said, eying them nervously.  

"My brother was so checking you out! He never does stuff like that! You were looking at his sketchbook and he never lets anyone touch it! I swear he was about to rip it out of your hands but he stopped.  He wouldn't take his eyes off of you until you turned around! He's never shy, it's so crazy!" Temari practically screamed. 

"I totally saw it Sakura," Hinata said with a sly smile on her face. Oh she was spending way too much time with Naruto.  

"Well you're both crazy and he definitely wasn't, but hey I saw this flyer inside for kick-boxing! We should really try it out!" Sakura said trying to change the subject. She reached into her purse and handed the slip to Temari.  

Looking it over Temari recognized the gym name immediately.  She smiled slyly to herself.  Playing matchmaker was Temari's favorite thing to do and it was high time her brother landed someone.  He tried not to show it, but he was extremely kind and considerate to his friends and family.  Always going out of his way to do something nice without anyone knowing it was him.  And poor Sakura was heartbroken. Temari could see it clear as day.  Sakura was someone who could appreciate Gaara for his good days and bad.  Communication would be their biggest struggle, but having heard her whole story from Hinata, Temari was sure Sakura was on the upswing.

"Oh awesome! I know the owner of this gym! It's pretty close to my apartment.  I can see if they have room for 3 more tomorrow if you're free!" Temari said, knowing exactly who she was going to text. 

The gym was conveniently located below Gaara's apartment. More importantly, Gaara owned the gym. He would most likely be teaching the class too. Sakura was making this too easy for Temari.  She had to act fast before someone snatched Sakura up. 

"Really? That's almost too good to be true! I really appreciate it, Temari!" Sakura gave her a genuine smile of pure happiness, the first that Temari had seen.  Her heart went out to the poor girl.  She couldn't imagine what it's like to be her, giving everything she's got just to have the person she loves not feel the same way.  Temari had met Sasuke once or twice in passing while his band was hanging out with Shikamaru's.  She could see the attraction, not only was he good looking, he gave off a cool and calm vibe without seeming like a jerk.  Gaara was similar in a way, but he was a bit more direct than Sasuke seemed.  Hopefully he doesn't scare poor Sakura off. 

Temari: Got room for 3 more for your beginner kick-boxing class tomorrow morning? 

Gaara: You finally convinced Shikamaru and Kankuro to join you? I can barely get him out of bed most mornings. 

Temari: NO! I actually have my own friends. Hinata and Sakura that you so rudely ignored want to come.

Temari: Actually it was Sakura, very cute and very SINGLE, girl who found your flyer and wanted to go to a class! 

Gaara: ……

Gaara: Does she know I'm the one teaching the class?

Temari: Haven't told her yet. Figured it would be a good surprise! I'm setting up the shot, you need to take it brother. Plus she didn't get a good look at you since you IGNORED us!! 

Gaara: ….. Fine.  You 3 can come, but don’t run it for the other people.  You know how you get.  This is the last time I’m doing something nice for you.

Temari: You know that’s not true! Love you little bro!!

Temari turned back to Sakura.  She actually looked happy.  Maybe she was looking to try something new.  Temari was glad to help out her new friend. Especially if it meant getting her brother to loosen up for once.  Maybe they could both help each other to open up more.  Sakura seems to be a giving person, but never got the same energy back.  Temari knew Gaara could be up for the challenge, if Sakura could accept him for who he is inside and out.  

“Okay we’re all set for tomorrow morning ladies! I hope you’re ready to get your butts kicked!” Temari said happily.

Maybe kick-boxing wasn’t such a good choice...

Part 3 

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: DokiDoki Nov 19 & YumeTwins Dec 19

If you read my previous post, then you may recall my plans on trying to do a 2-review-per-1-post method. Not sure how frequently this might be but I wanted to give it a try.

Also, on the subject of December boxes I wanted to bring up that I will not be covering the December Tokyo Treat box as I never got it. We have no idea what happened because this was never an issue before. Kind of disappointing because it was anime/manga/video game based, but I was refunded for it at least.

How this will work is that I will be covering one box, then the other. This isn’t a comparison review, but you guys will have to let me know after you read, which one would you prefer?

Yume Prize and Suteki Crate

One heavily features sailor moon and bunnies, while the other seems to be a collab of PomPomPurin and Gudetama. 

This will be my only comparison of the review; I feel like the Suteki Crate’s items fit more in-line with the box theme. Yume Prize fits in the sense its the same characters within the series, but not the theme of the months box. I think both sets are very cute though!

DokiDoki

This months theme is Snow Bunnies

“Get cozy with this months crate. As the weather gets cooler, these adorable bunny themed items are sure to warm your heart.“

Our first items include a decorative pair of chopsticks, featuring a red color scheme with a print of bunnies and sakura around the top.

The other item is a unique and fun-shaped carrot led pencil :D A bashful little bunny can be seen peaking out from the back, isn’t it the cutest? It’s seems like it would be a bit awkward to hold at first, but it has little nudges around the bottom for easy grip and feels pretty natural. It doesn’t feel like hard plastic either, and it felt nice to use. I did a little doodling with it and I liked it. 

Next up is a cute Rilakkuma mug, which was available in 2 styles. Either this one that I got, or there was a design featuring Korilakkuma holding a stuffed toy.

Besides an adorable light pink coloring, the mug features a fun print of white spots and strawberry, and on the side is written “A sweet, lovely strawberry is my favorite“. It’s very cute, I love strawberries so this is perfect for me~

These are our next and last two items, first up is this cute pink bunny plush. It’s part of some series known as Petanto, adorably long animals with hearts, but for this specific box theme everyone got the same bunny. Each one has a ball chain so that you can bring it along with you.

It’s very cute and plush, soft to squeeze. But it does have some noticeable seams along the arms/hands and ears. It’s not that bad though, and they are very cleanly made.

The other item you might recognize if you have been a viewer of the blog before. We got a smaller, circular one just like this in the past, but unlike that one, this one only came in the “pink style“ while the previous one could be pink or blue.

With the previous one, I decided to store my cute lip products I’ve gotten from various boxes, and I loved it! But... the collection made it hard for me to fit the lid on it, so this square-shaped container was more than welcome:

Look at that, I still got more room :D and now I can use the other container to hold something that will actually fit.

~Opinions~

Content - 5 out of 5, nothing super-special or unique, but the quality is clean and very good, no issues or complaints. They were all cute too, I especially love the new Sailor Moon container and the carrot pencil.

Price - 2.5 or 3 out of 5. I really don’t feel like these items should equal 30 dollars, they’re pretty small when you really look at them. The only real item of value in the box is probably the Sailor Moon container, because its such a popular name brand. Rilakkuma is popular too, but its just a mug. The items don’t feel cheap though, I will say that.

Theme: 5 out of 5. The theme doesn’t really scream November to me, but the bunny vibe they were going for is there for sure. I can feel the coziness in a sense; just imagine sipping on a warm drink while writing in your diary or a letter with your pencil, maybe squishing the little plush now and then~

Total Rank: 6.5 out of 10 Cuties. I’m not trying to be picky or anything, I really do like the items we got, I love bunnies x3 but the items themselves just don’t feel very special, we’ve gotten chopsticks, mugs, and plush plenty of times. I like them, but I want a surprise now and then, you know?

Yume Twins

“It’s finally the time of year we always look forward to! What about you? Isn’t snuggling up with your favorite warm blanket, a cup of hot chocolate and a good book next to the twinkling Christmas tree just the best feeling? This mnth we wanted to give you some kawaii friends to snuggle up with in this month’s Sanrio Christmas box! We hope you love it as much as we do!“

Besides the Sanrio goods that could be won in the Yume Prize, the photo contest prize for this month features Hello Kitty items. 

Holiday dining is a lot more fun when you have some cute matching (less-likely to break) items to eat with, so for this month we got an adorable plate featuring a warm, colorful group picture as the decorate for the Holiday~

Paired with it is this big spoon perfect for delicious soup or just large spoonfuls of whatever you may be eating, designed to match the plate as you can see. The spoons featured a couple different characters.

I feel like these spoons must have been popular this year, because I think we got 3 of them? I have a sumikko gurashi, one of Kuromi, and now this one.

Our drinks need to look cute too, and now they can with a handy, Hello Kitty paper straw! This was available in 2 styles and comes in a pack of 30, making it perfect for any sort of party or get-together, or if you just like Hello Kitty and enjoy using straws.

I’ve known about paper straws, but I never used one before so I was quite curious. I kept thinking “won’t it get soggy and fall apart in the drink or something?“ and couldn’t see it as very practical for more than a few minutes. I know environmentally friendly, but I just didn’t get it. But after trying one out to see, it’s really not much different than a normal straw. It did soften after some time, but that was about it. I’ll need to keep them somewhere in the kitchen so that I remember to use them.

This is probably my most favorite item out of everything. It’s so cute and snuggly, and its lovely Christmas themed picture feels so warm and inviting.

It’s the perfect little throw for the shoulders or lap, or for a quick nap with a pet or plush toy. I admit that I prefer blankets that entirely cover me, rather than most of me or half, but I didn’t mind pairing this with my actual blanket when I tried it out last night. It was very cozy... in fact, as I write this (at 11:15 am), I feel like I need a nap... (I woke up around 8:50 am). 

This is our last item, which felt pretty out of place to me. Gudetama is Sanrio, sure, and it fits because of the Yume Prize; but it clearly doesn’t have a Christmas theme. I also got this item before, or one very similar, so that was kind of a meh moment. This was the only item I’m not feeling out of both boxes, and I do like Gudetama mind you.

~Opinions~

Content - 5 out of 5, I really really liked the items this month! The gudetama sticky note set is nice too, even though I didn’t really care that much for it. It’s okay though, because I could always give it to my friend, who really likes Gudetama and doesn’t have it.

Price - 5 out of 5. In comparison to the DokiDoki November box (okay so I made two comparisons <3<), I feel like this one was definitely worth the price we pay. Or at least closer to it? Not counting the name brand factor, the items are very nice and have a lot of detailing. 

Theme: 5 out of 5. The Gudetama sticky notes have nothing to do with the Christmas theme, but it’s still Sanrio so I’d give it it them.

Total Rank: 9 out of 10 Cuties. I love this box :3 it was a lot of fun and very cute, I’m very excited to use the items within it and with Christmas coming up again soon (I know I’m horribly behind) and the weather cooling down again, this would be the perfect time to bust them out.

Alright, so what did you guys think? I know it wasn’t my best review, but I was a bit... lacking of words for a couple of items. I managed to knock out 2 reviews though, I feel accomplished. I probably won’t be combining the next two though, because there’s a lot of items in one box, and the other is a special case. I’ll explain when I get to it for anyone who may not have seen my past posts.

Until then, see you next time~

[immortalghostkami]

Like the Sun and the Moon

Chapter 3: An Unexpected Meeting

Chapter Index

My dearest Makoto, 

Although I still can’t comprehend why you’re so insistent on being a demon slayer, I’m relieved that you survived Final Selection. Having said that, if the next time I see you and you are missing a limb just like Old Man Shiro, I will personally wring BOTH of you by the ears.

Life over here has not changed much from last we wrote. The village is as peaceful as ever, but it’s a little lonely without you here.

The elders often ask about you. They miss you and wish you good health. Grandma Ayame especially so. She often brags to me about how talented you were with the shakuhachi and wants to know if you’ve been practicing. She says that when you come back, that she’s expecting a performance. 

Honestly, I’m a little jealous of how much the old folks love you, but that’s to be expected I suppose. 

Grandpa Kenji still wants you to marry Soma as well. He often gets into fights with Grandpa Takehiko whenever it comes to that. Saying Soma would be a better husband for you than Yori. Haha, aren’t you lucky having so many suitors?

All jokes aside, they worry about you, so make sure to keep in touch. Don’t forget that this is your home too. I’m sure everyone would be excited to see you again, even if you’re just dropping by, so come visit soon. 

Yours truly, Yuuki Nakano

Smiling down at the letter, a warm feeling swelled in Makoto’s chest. Her eyes softened as she read the words over and over again. Giggling at the doodles Yuuki had made at the bottom of the paper, she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. 

The memories of Grandmother Ayame teaching her the shakuhachi and playing with her father were heartwarming. Or when the men of the village would sing and dance all night long during the summer festival, only to be scolded by their wives the next morning. 

Mokoto recalled how Soma would cry whenever he saw a spider, or when she spent the day playing with origami paper with Yori and his mother. 

She remembered the giant sakura tree at the edge of town… 

Picking up the ink brush, Makoto’s strokes were delicate as she made her replay. Assuring that she was fine and that she too wished for everyone’s well being. Subtly skipping over the suitors, Makoto promised to stay in touch before signing off. 

Letting the ink dry before rolling it up, Makoto slipped it into the metal tube that sat atop of Shiro’s crow. Opening the window, she wished him well before he flew off.

Turning around, she greeted Shiro with a smile as he opened her bedroom door.

“Did Yuuki respond?” he asked, not really caring for the answer as he spotted the open letter.

“Yes, I just sent Sora to deliver my response. I do hope you don’t mind,” she affirmed laughing slightly at his eye roll of the nickname for his bird. He really saw no need for it, but she had insisted.

Turning around, he called over his shoulder, “Come, your sword has arrived.”

Sliding open the living room door, Makoto entered the lightly decorated room. A man with a hyottoko mask sat by the table in the middle of the room, sipping his tea. Sitting down across from him, Makoto greeted him, bowing politely.

“Ah, you must be Makoto,” he smiled, placing his cup down. 

Adjusting the mask back on his face, he turned to open the wooden box next to him.

“I am Yuudai Yoshioka, the swordsmith who crafted your blade. You know Makoto, your sword was quite a challenge to make. Never before have I made a sword quite like this one, it was quite a fun challenge indeed,” Yuudai beamed, handing the blade over.

Examining it, it felt no heavier than a normal katana. The pale blue and white sheath reminded Makoto of the sky and the cloud-shaped handguard only strengthened this thought. 

“Well? Aren’t you going to open it? I’m sure you know what these katanas can do,” Yuudai asked, eagerly waiting.

Softly laughing, Makoto unsheathed the blade, holding it up as the three waited with bated breath.

Makoto stared at it in awe of the craftsmanship. There was clearly a lot of effort put into the 12 toothed sword, each tooth separated by a small indent. She only found it more beautiful as a lovely shade of purple crept up from the base of the sword. Tinting the once black and silver blade lavender.

“Lavender, huh?” Shiro mumbled, a little disappointed it wasn’t green like his own.

 “Thank you so much, Yoshioka, this is exactly what I wanted,” Makoto beamed, the corner of her eyes crinkling.

“A beautiful sword for a beautiful person. I hope it leads you well in combat, and if anything happens, I’ll be happy to make another blade for you,” he chuckled, proud of the joy he brought. 

Flying through the opened doors leading to the garden, Makoto’s crow suddenly swooped in.

“Makoto Sasaki, southwest! South-Southwest! You must head southwest!” he kawed, flapping his wings in the doorway.

“Asuka!” Makoto said, startled.

“So you’ve already named this one too huh?” Shiro sighed, hiding his amused smile.

“Yes, but that’s beside the point right now,” Makoto retorted before turning back to Asuka.

“What’s southwest?” she inquired.

Settling down on her outstretched arm, he kawed, “This is your first mission! Beware, the village down southwest sits next to a lake! People have been going missing! Daughters! Brothers! All gone!”

Makoto frowned, about to speak when Asuka suddenly continued.

“Children… Children… Children under ten… are coming up dead in the lake!” he kawed, causing Makoto’s stomach to drop.

“All… under ten…?”

Gathering her equipment in her room, Makoto prepared for the journey ahead.

Slipping her sword into the white belt around her waist, Makoto adjusted the sleeveless uniform jacket on her shoulders. Leaving it mostly unbuttoned, it exposed her bound chest. Needing to let her skin breathe, she kept the bottoms of her hakama pants untied as well, unlike most Corps members. 

After slipping into her crane patterned haori, Makoto picked up an old, wooden hairpin. The pale pink paint had already started to chip off the crudely carved sakura blossom, and the jewel that once sat in the middle had fallen out. 

Staring at it longingly, Makoto’s fingers were light as she traced its petals.

“Makoto,” Shiro announced, entering her room.

“Yes,” she sighed. 

Taking in a deep breath, she placed the hairpin onto the side of her head before turning to look back at Shiro.

“I’m ready.”

After waving goodbye and promising to write, Makoto followed Asuka’s lead. Walking down the path, she spotted a familiar figure up ahead. He was leaning against a tree, and she could already feel the frown on his face.

“Good morning Shin-san. Lovely weather we’re having don’t you think?” Makoto smiled, mentally preparing herself as he scowled at her nickname.

“Don’t fuck with me. Didn’t I tell you, you weren’t fit to be a demon slayer!?” Sanemi snapped, cutting straight to the chase.

Rolling her eyes, Makoto rubbed the top of Asuka’s head as she hummed. Clearly not really thinking about his question.

“I heard about what you did during Final Selection. Don’t think other demons are just going to let you kill them so easily, especially with blood like ours,” he growled, stepping away from the tree.

“I don’t expect them too,” she sighed, finally looking up at him.

“You’re too soft Sasaki. You’ll never make it. Just go back to taking care of the old man,” he demanded, watching how her eyes darted away.

Humming softly to acknowledge she heard him, she changed the subject.

“Hey Shin-san, do you have a younger brother?” she asked, noticing how his face seemed to twitch at her question. 

“Don’t change the subject,” he warned, but Makoto ignored him.

“But do you? There was a boy who reminded me a lot of you while we were choosing our ore,” she laughed, paying no mind to the way he glared at her.

“Your eyes are even shittier than I thought. Just ‘cause someone reminds you of me, don’t fucking mean we’re related,” he snarled, reluctantly answering her. 

“Hmm, that’s true,” she hummed, folding her hands behind her back.

But before Sanemi could continue their conversation, she spoke up first.

“Oh! By the way, I was curious. How do I look?” she eagerly asked, twirling a little.

“Is that really something you should be concerned about?” Sanemi snapped, trying to ignore the smell of lavender she just wafted in his direction.

 He could already feel his muscles relax just the slightest bit because of it, which only pissed him off more.

“I was wondering if you could tell my inspiration is all,” Makoto chuckled, not so subtly pointing to her open top.

Sanemi didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. Makoto could tell just by glancing at his face that he didn’t find her flattery very amusing. 

“Stop messing around and just go back already,” Sanemi growled, trying to stay civil with her.

“I’m sorry Shinuzugawa, but you know I can’t do that,” Makoto sighed, voice flat.

“I’m able to do Breathing Techniques, I attract demons, I was able to change the color of my Nichirin Sword. If I have the ability to make a difference, to change something for the better, shouldn’t I do it?” she inquired, turning to meet his eyes.

“Isn’t that why you became a demon slayer as well?”

Makoto’s little speech was getting on Sanemi’s nerves, but her last words had left him speechless. His voice trapped in his throat as a slew of emotions bubbled up inside him.

“Anyway,” she coughed, not letting him respond. 

“It was sweet of you to see me off. I’ll be going now,” she smiled, slipping past him.

“Stay in touch, won’t you?” she laughed, waving goodbye.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sanemi cursed as he watched Makoto’s back. He could stop her right now, force her to turn back, but what she had said struck a nerve with him. Heavily sighing, his frustration with her only grew.

“Sasaki!” he called, causing her to turn to him.

“If you’re leaving, don’t expect me to give you any more favors!” he shouted, fist clenched.

Studying his form from afar, Sanemi’s frown only deepened at the small smile she gave him. Her eyes were soft, swimming with knowing melancholy. 

“I know…” she said, before turning around and leaving.

Walking down the country road, Asuka sat on Makoto’s shoulder as they traveled. The sun was above them, warming up the sleepy earth beneath her bare feet. 

Taking a deep breath, Makoto did her best to calm her nerves, the grip she had on the hilt of her katana doing nothing to help.

This was it, she was finally a demon slayer! Her first mission was just up ahead and people needed her help! And yet, Makoto was unable to steady herself, Sanemi’s words echoing in her mind.

Stopping in her tracks, Makoto’s breathing grew unsteady as she stared at the ground. She hadn’t even made it to town yet and she was trembling with fear. Could she do this? Was she doing the right thing? Maybe Senami was right. Would she be able to kill a demon?

Tilting his head at her, Asuka cooed softly, worried.

The slight feeling of the ground rumbling underneath her snapped Makoto out of her thoughts. Spinning around she only found the dirt road and the horizon behind her. She stood there for a second, before moving to the side of the road. 

The rumbling earth only grew more violent as the sound of a scream grew clearer. As it drew closer, Makoto recognized that raspy voice as the person came into view.

“GET BACK HERE YA STUPID BIRD!” he cried, swinging his chipped swords violently.

The Kasugai Crow that he was chasing flew headfirst into Makoto, huddling close to her chest as she held it in confusion. It was panting heavily and exhausted, panicking as the cloud of dust quickly grew larger in front of them.

Covering her face with an arm, Asuka and the other crow’s wings brushed against her face in their escape. Coughing as the cloud of dust around them settled, Makoto slowly opened her eyes to find two, large, unblinking blue ones staring back at her. 

Makoto’s face was unreadably straight as she stared back, a puff of steam from its nose, blowing the hair out of her face.

“Inosuke, I’m glad to see you well,” she finally spoke, smiling at the slightly taller boy.

“Where is it?” he asked, his calm voice causing Makoto’s head to tilt to the side.

“Where’s what?” she blinked.

“The crow! That stupid bird flew over here!” he suddenly shouted, not noticing the birds above them.

“Oh…!” she jumped, eyes darting to the sky for a split second.

Following her gaze, more steam blew out of the mask’s nose as a cackle rumbled from deep within his chest.

“Found you…!” he snarled with glee, using Makoto as a spring to jump higher, causing her to stumble back.

A soft tsk could be heard from under his mask as he swung his swords at the two crows, only for them to dodge. Falling onto his back, Inosuke howled curses at the birds. Having completed its job, Inosuke’s crow flew off, leaving behind an extremely peeved Asuka. 

Swooping down and pecking at him, Asuka cursed Inosuke for not only attacking him but for stepping on Makoto as well.

“Hey- hey, what are you two doing! I’m fine, so please stop fighting!” Makoto wearily shouted.

Begrudgingly flying back to her, Asuka sat on her shoulder, turning away from the two.

Growling, Inosuke jumped back up onto his feet, “I’ll kill ‘em!”

Holding the large bird back from attacking again, Makoto bowed, furiously apologizing.

After having calmed the two down, Makoto fed Asuka some seeds she had in an attempt to keep him tame as she talked with Inosuke.

“I’m so sorry about Asuka,” she apologized once more, only gaining a huff in response.

“Whatever!” Inosuke turned his head, crossing his arms.

Makoto couldn’t help but compare him to a pouting child. From this and the last time they met, he almost seemed to act like a rambunctious toddler. Then again, maybe she was being a little too harsh. 

“Um, Inosuke, did you pass the Final Selection?” Makoto asked. 

Her eyes moved to the battered swords that sat on either side of his hips. They were horribly chipped, but their indigo-gray hue was all she needed to tell they were Nichirin Swords. 

“Of course! That was nothing for the great Inosuke! I’ve battled bears stronger than those puny demons! They were nothing compared to some of the animals on the mountain,” he boasted, puffing his chest out.

“I see, you’re quite strong then,” Makoto smiled, just happy he was alive.

Her comment seemed to only boost his ego, however. He was praising himself and showing off. Proving just how great he was by bending back until his head was in between his legs. Laughing softly, Makoto couldn’t help but find it amusing how a little bit of praise caused him to react. 

Lightly pinching at her cheek, Asuka snapped her back to her senses, reminding her of her mission.

“Ah! My apologies, but I have to get going,” Makoto bowed towards Inosuke, only for Asuka to mumble something.

“What? I’m sorry Asuka, but can you repeat-”

“Inosuke Hashibira has to come!” he loudly kawed, making Makoto jump.

“Inosuke Hashibira has to come! This is a joint mission, a joint mission!” he begrudgingly kawed, flying off Makoto’s shoulder.

“The fuck’s his deal?” Inosuke grumbled confused, eyeing the black bird. 

Taking a second to process Asuka’s words, Makoto could help but breathe out a sigh. The fear in the pit of her stomach settled a bit at this news. Turning to the boy with a board head, she smiled gratefully at him.

“Well, I suppose we should get going. I look forward to working with you,” she bowed, only confusing the poor boy more. 

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

[daraanna]

“Arranged Love”- Part Three „Golden chrysanthemums”

So at the beginning I want to say I have no idea about fencing, sooo... some things can have no sense. Still I hope you will enjoy it.

................................................................................................................

To his surprise, his life after marriage did not change much. He could do whatever he wanted, and his wife hardly bothered him. At first, he liked it. He spent all his free time with friends or watching the dances of beautiful dancers. However, after two months, the lack of interest from the black-haired girl began to bothering him. It wasn't normal ... Every woman he knew was charmed by him, or at least interested. At first he understood it, after all he was a stranger to her. However, now the indifference his wife give to him began to irritate him. This feeling also caused that he lose interest in other women. Basically, they were no longer a challenge or entertainment for him.

"Maybe try to do something for her?" One day Mitsuki suggested "when I have fight with Chõ-Chõ I arranging a great feast in our chambers as apology and then we take chocolate and ...”

“Mitsuki, really none of us want to hear that. It is disgusting and do not convince me that such are the charms of love in books they do not describe such things“ Inojin interrupted him.

"But the idea is not so bad ... You should do something that pleases her," Shikadai said.

"She doesn't like anything" blue-eyed sighed looking at the chessboard, "And this game is still boring ...

"Because you can't win," Nara said, checking his king.

“Maybe some gift? Jewellery or other fringe girls like these things.”

In this way, the idea of buying her fabrics and threads arose. This did not bring any result. Not only his wife still didn’t speak to him ... Expensive fabrics were wasted, because what she did with them did not resemble embroidery... More his sister's doodles. Really, black-haired girl hated him so much?  "Maybe she has a lover?" Shikada finally said. "That would explain her disappearance ..."

At first he laughed at the idea. However, the longer he thought about it, the more angry he was. He felt bad that only he cares ... Not to mention the fact that her behavior offended not only him, but the entire royal family.

 Not long after, one morning, the creak of the floor woke him up. When he opened his eyes he saw his wife standing in front of the wardrobe and preparing her kimono. He looked at her for a moment.

“Sarada ...” he was able to see her body stiffen at the sound of his voice.

"Yes?" She replied turning towards him.

"Come here," he looked at her approaching figure, he didn't know what he wanted from her. The girl stopped next to their bed and looked at him surprised . From this distance he could clearly see her face, her long eyelashes, black onyx eyes and pale skin. Her hair was loose and in slightly mess was falling on her shoulders. She was only dressed in a thin, translucent Hadajuban. The fabric created to be worn under a kimono allowed him to see every curvature of her figure. Against his will, his eyes stopped on her not too big but full breasts to escape to her wide hips and long legs. He swallowed involuntarily. His wife was really beautiful. Shikadai's words popped again in his head. He felt a strong squeeze in his stomach at the thought of another man who might have had her. On impulse, he grabbed her wrist, pulling her close to him, catching her lips in a kiss. The girl did not resist, she did not react at all when he embraced her waist pulling her body to his. She smelled of lavender, forest and a bit like incense, her lips were soft and her body warm and at that moment it was hard for him to remember the last time he wanted someone else's touch so badly... However, when his gaze crossed with hers he felt his heart freeze.  She was even more frightened than on their wedding day. He pulled away from her feeling guilty. He quickly got up and headed for the bathroom. When he returned, his wife was sitting exactly where he left her. He felt even worse, but did not know how to fix it.

"You can go ... you're free," he said after a moment of silence. After his words, the girl covered herself with a blanket and fled to the bathroom from which he had just left.

....................................

After this incident, his wife avoided him even more. If at all possible. He spent the next weeks with friends avoiding women as much as he could. He felt overwhelmed by all this, and flirting made him feel even worse. Of course his servants were not delighted. That day he walked alone in the gardens when he heard laughter. Normally he would ignore it, but at this point it caught his attention for some reason. Looking out from behind the tree, he saw Sarada walking with a pink-haired woman. He was shocked when he noticed that his wife was smiling. The girl was relaxed and really happy. She looked even more beautiful. However, he felt as if someone had kicked him in the stomach. She was never like that with him. It was at this moment that their eyes crossed and her face changed immediately.  The woman with her, however, gave him a friendly wave, embarrassing him. Although she looked familiar, he had no idea who she was.

"Good morning, Boruto-chan," the pink-haired woman greeted him, shocking him even more, because no one with right mind would addressed the heir to the throne like that. “Oh, how you grew up, I mean I saw you at the wedding, but they dressed up both of you so much that I barely recognized my own daughter.

It took him a bit to add two to two, but finally he realized that he was talking to the wife of ex-Shogun and the best healer in the Fire country Sakura Uchich, and which means the mother of his partner.

“O-Oh good morning ... “he replied the only thing that came to his mind.

The appearance of the woman was different from what he remembered, her hair, though still pink, lost its shine and intensity of colour. Her skin became unhealthy, pale, almost cyanic. The whole posture of the healer, who once aroused him in fear (especially when he pissed her off) was more frail. It was obvious that she had lost a lot of weight, in some places the shape of her bones was clearly visible. While standing, she had to be supported by her daughter. Something was clearly wrong.

“Uh, but you should have some time for each other I so often take Sarada from you” sighed green-eyed stroking the head of mentioned girl” I will go back to myself and you two should talk ...”

Black-haired girl was about to protest, but her mother interrupted.

"I am able to walk alone yet" she sighed and slowly goes back toward the palace.

Younger Uchiha was clearly worried.

“Um ... Uh”blond broke the silence, but did not know what to say” What is wrong with your mother?

He immediately felt the chilling look of brunette.

"She is sick," she replied briefly.

"Then she shouldn't rest until she gets better?" He asked, trying to continue the conversation.

"It's not this type of disease you can't get out of ..." she replied much quieter.

“I mean the curse !?”

“Tch. Some say so.”

“ And you don't think so?”

“I think it is more complicated... And, I doubt anyone would have reason to wish her death.”

Once again, the girl's hands began to tremble. And despite the fact that it was once again in his presence, he knew this time that he was not the reason. He remembered the days when his mother was unconscious after the birth of Himawari. The court doctor said that he might not survive this. He thought he understood what the girl was feeling, even though his fear lasted not a whole week.

“I'm sorry...”

"It's not your fault," she replied.

Despite her words, he felt even worse. It all explained her behaviour since she arrived at the palace. She didn't have a lover, she just took care of her sick mother.

“Uh ... I ... As for what happened ... I don't know why I... I mean it won't happen again. I'm sorry” he stammered.

The girl shuddered and looked at the ground.

"Nothing happened ... The duty of the wife is ..." she started, but the blond interrupted her. “I don't want it to look like this ... I know that this marriage doesn't suit any of us, but... I don't want you to act like my slave ... I know I'm a bad husband, but maybe we would try differently. I mean ...” he knows that he was babbling, but he had no better idea to solve this problem. What is worse, the black-haired woman didn’t answer him, just stood and watched.”Maybe we could try to be friends?”

Again, embarrassing silence and her gaze. As if those onyx eyes were able to look into his soul. "We were friends ... As a child," she said uncertainly. This time he looked at her, her expression changed, and her eyes showed curiosity. However, it was obvious that she still didn't trust him.

"I think so, I don't remember much of that time," he sighed, scratching his head.

“Me too. Although it was probably easier then ... To make friends ...”

"Then I thought you were a boy," he said before he had time to think about it. As soon as he realized what he said, he felt embarrassed. Sarada, however, was too shocked to say anything.

"N-nani?" She finally asked.

"I have to go!" He replied, making a tactical retreat.

.......................................................... Despite the embarrassing end of the conversation, his relationship with Sarada warmed. It might not have been a big change, but they talk sometimes, have meal together, and he was convinced that he saw her smiling at least twice in his presence. However, it made him feel so good that it was noticed even by his friends. Who did not fail to tease him without mercy. Now when Mitsuki returned to Oto and Shikadai and Inojin were on training, he spent most of his time alone practicing sword fighting. Once again, he repeated the figures, he had recently been taught by Uncle Kakashi, but unfortunately he stepped on his own legs and landed on a ground, miraculously without hurting himself with a katana. If pain after this fall were not enough, when he was gathering from the ground he heard laughter. Definitely feminine and familiar. He looked around and saw his wife standing not more than 3 meters from him. The girl covered her mouth with her hand to stop the giggle. He couldn't tell if he was more embarrassed or surprised.

"Do you think it is easy?!" He grunted, dusting himself off.

Sarada stopped laughing and stood in silence. She looked at him clearly thinking about something.

"What?" He finally asked in confusion.

“You do it wrong ...”

“Nani?”

"Your posture and the way you hold the katana are not correct," she replied calmly. At what he laughed.

"Are you saying that you know better how to fight than four sensei who taught me how to use the sword?" He came closer, looking at her rashly.

“I do not deny that your movements look beautiful, but they are not very effective.”

"One of my masters was Kakashi Hatake, I'm really supposed to listen to a 14-year-old princess from a small health resort village?" He couldn't resist irritating her when she saw her face. She was clearly annoyed by his behaviour, which she had never expressed so openly before.

"Should I prove it to you?" She growled, coming closer and never losing eye contact with him. There was a determination in her, which in combination with the pink-purple kimono she wore looked cute.

“Okay if you want it so badly.”

He watched with a mocking smile as the girl stripped off a layer of her outfit, showing a simple white shirt and light pink hakama. Typical Naka attire would probably be considered inappropriate for a woman by many. Pulling out the ribbon that was part of her obi, she tie her hair. She looked around and picked up a long stick.

The blond man rolled his eyes. 'Of course,' he thought, remembering their childhood times.

Black-haired girl adopted a fighting pose, waiting for him to prepare for the fight. Boruto smiled as he pulled out his katana. They looked at each other for a moment. Finally, the heir to the throne decided to attack. Sarada dodged and struck the flat part of his sword with a force that Uzumaki did not expect at all. His weapon slipped from his hand, hitting the ground two meters away. Moments later, he felt the tip of a stick touch the skin on his neck. Shocked, he raised his hands, giving up. His wife smirked as she took off the stick.

"I told you," she said, dressing her coat back and tying her belt.

The boy was still looking at her with wide eyes.

"How?" He finally said.

"When you fight, you should use the strength of your whole body, not just your hands," she explained more calmly. "You lack balance and you should work more with core muscles ...

The heir to the throne sighed because he had heard it before.

"How do you know that?" He asked.

Black-haired girl turned away from him, focusing her gaze on the nearby flower bed.

"I had seen my father train," she said. Blue-eyed knew that the knowledge she had could not be gained by mere observation, but he did not know how to draw a conversation. Especially since the subject of the deceased Shogun was still delicate.

"Chrysanthemums are blooming," she said, changing the subject. "Autumn is coming..."

He came up to her and looked at the golden flowers.

"It's getting colder," he said, looking at her. The girl looked thoughtful. She clenched her hands on a basket of herbs. It was now that he noticed that she had it with her.

"I have to go," she said sadly, "I can come back later today ...

Boruto nodded as a sign that he understood.

"See you later," he replied, watching as he headed towards the palace.

.................................................. ......

It was not more than two weeks, as once upon awakening, to his surprise he saw his wife's back. Normally Sarada got up much earlier than he did. For a moment he wondered whether to touch her hair, which, without any hairpin, spilled over their bedclothes, covering her entire pillow and also started attacking his .However, he thought that he should not risk waking her up. If she slept that long it means she must have been tired. Getting up as quiet as possible, he went to the wardrobe, and then to the audience with his father. He noticed at the door that something was wrong. His mother also was in the chamber, holding Himawari on her lap. Everyone was wearing a black, mourning outfit. His parents looked depressed, only his sister, probably not understanding what was happening, was playing with her fox. Concerned, he entered the room and bowed. Moments later he was in the arms of Hinata.

"How is Sarada doing?" She asked him.

He felt panic rising in him, but even though the matter seemed obvious, his brain couldn't connect all the dots.

“What happened?”

"Sakura," his dad replied, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I mean Sarada's mother died tonight."

For a moment he was shocked, and then he immediately run out of the room back to the bedroom. He found black-haired girl exactly in the same position she was when he left the room, but she was awake. She lay on her side blankly looking at the opposite wall. He slowly approached her and crouched beside him.

“Sarada ...” he started but the girl wasn’t reacting “I'm sorry ...”

She looked at him for a moment, with gaze filled with pain, and then turned away from him. Again, looking at her back, he felt even worse.

"I know you feel bad, but ... This is not the end of the world ..." he replied, grasping the opposite of what was intended.

“You know how I feel? “ Her voice was silent but firm “ You don’t know a shit about me ... You have no idea what I'm going through!”

She continued, and with each word she spoke louder and louder.

"I lost the only family I had, I lost my home, I don't have anyone to live for, so it could be the end!"

Moments later he heard her sob. He didn't know what to do. To calm her down, he sat down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder, but the girl quickly turned his palm away, turning back to face him.

“What now !?”

He looked at her. Tears rolled down her cheeks, her face and eyes were swollen from crying, she also had bags under her eyes, most likely caused by not sleeping at night. Her hair was in total disarray, and her body was shaking under the influence of emotions tormenting her. She looked completely different than the quiet and composed, almost looking like a porcelain sculpture  woman he saw on their wedding day. He felt strange, because just as terrifying this view was it was also extremely beautiful and painful. Then he realized that he couldn't do anything to take this suffering from her. He, the heir to the throne, the person who has everything, was completely powerless.

"You are not alone," he said much quieter. "You still have your people in Naka ... My parents care for you, and Himawari ... She adores you and loves you like an older sister ..."

He took her hand uncertainly and gently and, to his surprise, did not pull her away.

“You also have me ... I know I'm not a ideal husband  ... Actually, I have no idea how to build a real relationship. As a friend I am any better at this moment, but ... I promise I will not leave you. If you only let me be by your side, you won't be alone ... “

He had the impression that what he said didn't make any sense and that he probably made everything even worse when he felt a certain weight on his chest. Sarada leaned forward, laying her head against his shoulder. He instinctively embraced her in the waist, pulling her close to him. Her body became limp, occasionally she trembled. It took a while before she was so exhausted that she fell asleep. Boruto was sitting still, only gently stroking her back. It was hard to determine what he felt. He had vague childhood memories of Aunt Sakura, no doubt he was sorry about her death. He was worried about Sarada, he could not imagine what she could feel now. If he lost his parents ... All he knew was that he was confused.

………………………………………………………………………………

Soooooooo…  there is another part... Finally! Although I am not exacly satisfied with the last part. And I know... I killed Sasuke and Sakura. I feel terrible too, but they will appear in flashbacks ( you know It is Naruto fanfic after all), and they are happy together now trust me...

One more thing about the title  chrysanthemums are the flowers which are very popular to use to make cemetery bouquets in my country. They are so popular at cemeteries that traditionally it is consider to be bad luck If you give someone alive  chrysanthemums  bouquet.

  <<first part                                                                            next part>

[lunar-court]

Materials You’ll Need

A Notebook

A Writing Utensil

That’s it. That is, ultimately, all you will need for this. However, I am a stationary nerd, so I’m also going to show you some cheap stuff you can buy to make a pretty Book of Shadows. I personally went to Michael’s for some of these items.

List of all these items:

Artist’s Loft Dotted Paper Journal | $9.99 | Buy here

Artist’s Loft Silver Permanent Marker | $1.49 | Buy here

Sakura Gelly Roll 08 White Pen | $1.99 | Buy the 05 size here

G2 Pilot Metallic Ink Pens | $8.99 | Buy here

Remember, you do not need any of these materials to make a Book of Shadows. To me, they just make it more fun! I also have some supplies I have purchased earlier this year for other purposes, but will be using them in this tutorial. Here is a list of those and their retail prices on Amazon.

Zebra Mildliners 15 ct | $16.77 | Buy here

Faber Castell PITT Artist Pens 4 ct | $14.99 | Buy here

Staedler Pigment Liners 4 ct | $24.12 for 2 pack | Buy here

Step 1: Decide on the Cover

For me, this was the hardest step. I had to decide what I wanted the cover to look like! Originally I drew a sigil with my silver marker, but decided against it. It left an imprint on the cover, but I think it still looks good. I then drew a Waning Crescent Moon on the cover, since the Moon means a lot to me, and because I work with the Norse God of the Moon, Mani. I also drew the moon phases on the spine, and wrote the runes Othala and Kenaz twice. This is because Othala means something similar to Home, and Kenaz is the rune for Loki, one of the Gods I work with. 

Now for your cover, you absolutely do not have to put anything! Or you could put everything! One option I considered was purchasing some label stickers so I could place one on the cover and title it “Book of Shadows,” but did not like any of the choices I had. Below are some decorating ideas!

Draw a sigil

Draw a Pentagram or Pentacle

Write a charm for protection

Title it, plain and simple

Decorate with stickers!

Doodle witchy things

etc etc!

Step 2: Check Out Your Journal’s Features

Above, you can see the index / table of contents as well as the Bullet Journal key, as this was made more for Bullet Journals. There is 1 front and back page for the index, and the front of another page, with the key on the back. Should you not have an index in your Book of Shadows, I highly recommend making one using two front and back pages. You can find some great videos on youtube that go over how to make them for Bullet Journals. Find one that suits you!

Here you can see the page numbers and the average page style! As it is a dotted journal, this will be very useful for both drawing and writing in straight lines. And because it’s already numbered, we don’t have to worry about writing them in.

And the last part is this pocket folder for carrying scraps of papers! There are also 3 test pages for pens, just like there was 3 pages for the index, but I forgot to take photos of them. These are to see how your pens will work before you use them seriously in your journal, to make sure they don’t bleed or smudge.

Step 3: The Reference Section

I decided for my Book of Shadows I wanted to make a Reference Section. This is, essentially, the part of the book that will hold anything I will refer back to frequently while working on my craft and my practice, such as Holidays, Moon Phases, Correspondences, etc. You technically don’t need to do this, but it is incredibly helpful to know which section is which, and what it will contain. Below is a step-by-step photo process of how I created my title page for this section, as well as a reference I added to remember how to split up my pages easily.

And that’s it for setting up! Thank you for joining me in this part, I hope it was useful to you, and I hope that you’ll continue to enjoy this series!

Find the next part (when it’s posted) here: {x}

[elven-ariaera]

Welcome all!

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do. Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity.

For those who are only interested in certain segments, I’ve broken the article into the following sections for you to easily maneuver your way throughout the piece: Art, cosplay, writing, and questions asked by you.

I know I’m no professional and compared to a lot of others I don’t have as outstanding an amount of followers, but if this article can help inspire at least one artist to try something new or learn something they didn’t know, well, that’s good enough for me! I hope you enjoy!

Art

When did you get into art?

I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember, but I do recall middle school in particular being the time that I really started pursuing art. I had to choose between volleyball and art club after school, and guess which one I picked. It wasn’t just academics either. My notebooks were full of fan art of mostly Link and Zelda, but you could find some Kirby, Pokémon, and Naruto scattered in there as well.

Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Yeah. It’s… Something.

What defines your artistic style?

I think the faces of the characters I draw distinguish my art. I always have a certain way of drawing the eyes, ears, and other features. I always give my females more prominent eyelashes than males as well. Certain clothing as well — The way I draw capes and hoods are distinct. Not to mention when designing my own clothes, I tend to use similar patterns.

Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I occasionally dabble outside my comfort zone. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of the “Cal-Arts” style, but I’ve tried it every now and then, especially when creating fan art for shows like Steven Universe, The Amazing World of Gumball, and Amphibia. I don’t really do it too often, but I’ve made a piece for my portfolio mimicking several art styles from a variety of different shows just to demonstrate that I can do it if I’d like to.

What levels of artistic education have you had?

Honestly, just high school. I thought I was going to college for digital illustrations but it turned out communication/graphic design was totally different. I actually got into that because I could draw when not many other people in that field could. Of course, I’m always interested in learning outside of school. I learn through watching other artists on social media, seeing how they create their work. Just watching a speed draw can help so much! The way I learn the most, however, is just by doing. Practice, practice, practice! 

Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

I’ve been doing a lot of Fire Emblem doodles for my new sticker line, so here’s Setsuna. Honestly, I just like drawing bust portraits like this.

What is your favorite piece that you have done?

I can’t just pick one! I’ve drawn over 900 things since I first joined DeviantArt (and I’ve been drawing even before then), you want me to pick just one? Haha, I’ll narrow it down to three of my favorites (in no particular order):

I love this one because it was like the first cute drawing of Ivysaur I’ve ever done. Ivysaur was always a tricky pokémon for me to draw, but this was the first time I feel like I nailed it. Ivysaur also happens to be one of my absolute favorites, so that’s a plus.

This is Minerva, a Guardian from my fantasy stories. Every time I drew her prior, I could never quite get the look I wanted. This was the one that I really liked and so I colored it and am very happy with how it turned out.

I don’t know why I just love this drawing I did of Dimitri from Three Houses. I think its the eyes and hair. And the color contrast — especially in the original ink sketch (that I hung up over my craft table.) I just love it.

What is your least favorite piece that you have done?

Again, you want just one? Haha, too many failures. I’ll be fair, though, and post three of those as well.

Here’s one from my early days. I was trying so hard to get the hair all detailed like and instead it came out looking like gross looking veins. Not to mention how atrocious the proportions were. Oh man, I’m sorry past me, I know you tried.

Here’s one I was so proud of: I copied the official art for Twilight Princess and thought it came out amazing. So amazing I titled the piece “Awesomeful Link.” Yeah. Um. Nope.

Here’s a more recent one that I’m not too pleased with. I was so excited about the latest batch of Steven Universe episodes (which I would later learn were a big bunch of filler episodes and that didn’t make anything better) I drew Pearl reciting her ‘big line’ of the trailer. I tried to mix styles and I tried something different with the eyes and all in all it just came out… Meh.

What do you like most about your art?

I like the faces that I draw. They’re always the most fun and I think they come out the best. I especially love the eyes, I go into so much detail on them (even though they’re usually so small when I print them.) I’ve had issues in the past where I made all of my characters look like they had the same face, but I feel I’ve been doing a lot better at individualizing the face of each character and that makes it all the more fun as well.

What do you like least about your art?

The hands. Sometimes I draw them well, but I still struggle hard and sometimes it really shows. For chibi drawings, I don’t really care as much, but on my more “serious” art, I get a little bummed when I’ve got a wonky hand hanging off their wrists. Feet also sometimes give me a bit of trouble, but usually only when I do poses that involve more movement, which is why I sometimes make my art stiffer and I don’t like doing that either.

Have you ever considered taking commissions?

I do take commissions. In fact, I’d love to take more if it were possible.

Are you looking to pursue a career in art?

I do it part-time right now. I’m satisfied doing commissions and artist tables at local conventions. I think I’d like to pursue writing more than art, but I do love art just as well, so part-time is perfect for me.

What do you like drawing the most?

As I mentioned before, faces. I love drawing facial expressions, I feel like it’s the very core of a character. It’s the first thing I notice when I look at anyone’s art, so I always go all out on my own. I also like drawing hair and wrinkles in clothing. I used to be really obsessed with wrinkles and it would always look like my characters didn’t iron their laundry, but I’ve definitely toned it down since then, haha.

All in all, I like drawing human characters the best — or humanoid. Elves, fairies, merfolk; I love them the most. I like drawing animals too, but not as much as people. 

What do you like drawing the least?

Once again my answer is hands. They are still as difficult to draw as the day I started.

Backgrounds are also not enjoyable for me to draw. It’s an important part of a piece, but I get so bored drawing anything that’s not a character — which is why you’ll probably notice in a lot of my art that I do a lot of very minimal backgrounds. I’ve been trying very hard not to just take stock photos anymore (with the exception of my Mythical Month art as they’re meant to be stickers,) and I’ve been using games like Skyrim and Breath of the Wild as inspiration with their gorgeous scenery. 

Do you draw more fanart or original art? If fanart, what fandom do you draw the most of?

I post a lot more fan art than original — at least I used to, but I also think I have expanded in sharing my original art more and more with my Mythical Months/Mondays. I guess maybe I’d say about half and half.

What medium/program do you use the most in your art?

Digitally I always use Photoshop. Always. As for traditional art, I’ve been using Copic knock-offs (I’m still learning, so I’d rather not waste the money) and the Sakura Micron pens for my ink sketches. I’ve really been enjoying them, actually, it’s very therapeutic. However, no matter digitally or traditionally, I always, ALWAYS start with a pencil. I like mechanical pencils, I don’t like traditional #2 pencils anymore. The thin lead helps me keep control better.

How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

I always say I think my art is “above average.” I know it’s not bad, but I think it could always use improvement. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a place where I think my art is phenomenal, but I’m content with it, it makes me happy, and that’s all that matters.

List at least one of your “artspirations.”

My art style was greatly inspired by Naruto, Fire Emblem, and Zelda. I always liked more proper body proportions with that hint of anime inspiration. I like bigger eyes on my characters because they help convey emotion so much better, but I also don’t like the oversized baby eyes outside of the occasional chibi style. Avatar: The Last Airbender was also a great influence since the creators did exactly what I like to do and execute it wonderfully.

What do you think you could stand to improve on?

I feel like I can always improve on everything that I do in my art. There are things I’m good at, but I don’t feel like I’ve mastered anything in particular. Then there’s hands and feet again which I definitely need to work on. Lastly, motion. I want to be able to draw more fluid character motions. I’ve been working on it with my original art that I don’t post online, but hopefully I’ll start incorporating it into all my work.

Do you have a shameful art past? (recolor sprite comics, tracing art, etc.?)

Ugh, yes, YES! I admit I was so bad at first, but I also think that’s just how we learn. I used to do a lot of tracing. I started first just full-on tracing images off my computer — That’s right, I’d put the paper up to the computer and trace it like that. Then I started using bases, which was better because at least I had to draw all the details like hair and clothing by myself. Then I finally worked up the courage to stop using them completely. I’d use references, but I would force myself to figure it out by eye rather than copy it straight from the source. I’m happy to say I haven’t been tracing since my late middle school- early high school years.

Cosplay

How many years have you cosplayed?

My first cosplay was when I was fourteen, and I’m twenty-five at the time of writing this article, so eleven years now. Wow.

How did you get into cosplaying?

I honestly don’t know. I was invited to a convention where I heard people dressed up and was like “hey, I want to try that!” I guess it was because I didn’t really do Halloween as a kid and I was so deathly terrified of costumed characters as a toddler that I never took an interest until high school.

How many cosplays have you done?

That’s funny, you want me to remember how many cosplays I’ve ever done. A lot. According to my photo collection, I’ve done about 60 different cosplays (59 exactly if I’m counting correctly.)

What was your first cosplay and why did you choose it?

My first cosplay was Osaka from Azumanga Daioh in her blue summer uniform. Azumanga Daioh was my second ever manga series and my cousin and I were so obsessed with it. She even went as Yukari with me to the convention (though only, like, two people knew who we were.) Tomo is probably my favorite character, but I related personally more to Osaka, being the air-head that I am. I also didn’t have to really style my hair (because that was an era before I used wigs.)

What is your favorite cosplay you’ve done so far?

It’s a tie between my Trainee Link (Hyrule Warriors) costume and my Royal Guard Link (Zelda: Breath of the Wild) costume. Both are alternative costumes for one of my all-time favorite characters that I hand made all the really detailed pieces all from scratch. Link has always been a special character for me to cosplay, but these two are my favorites.

What is your least favorite you’ve cosplayed?

Rapunzel (Tangled). I was obsessed with her at the time which is why I wanted to cosplay her originally, but my dress was not the best and I didn’t look good as her. At least I think so. It was the only costume that made me feel insecure.

What cosplay is the most uncomfortable or troublesome?

Okay, I love this costume and character to pieces, but my gosh the struggles I go through for Pearl (Steven Universe). Blue Diamond (Steven Universe) is the worst in terms of how long it takes me to put my makeup on, but Pearl is right behind her at about 2 hours being my best time. However, the thing that makes Pearl more troublesome to wear is one thing and one thing alone: armsocks.

They look great and prevent you from having to dab makeup all over your body, but I literally couldn’t even hit the home button on my cellphone and it’s not like I could just take them off like gloves. They’re attached at your middle and putting them on is a hassle on its own. Getting your fingers into each tiny socket is so time-consuming. Now imagine this while also being coated in body paint. Plus, having white be the color of the stockings, you have to be conscious of everything you touch because it will stain and show. Because of all this, I refuse to use the restroom dressed as Pearl, and while that is “in character,” it is not healthy and totally NOT recommended you do that.

What is your most comfortable cosplay?

During the winter, Ravio (Zelda: A Link Between Worlds) for sure. It’s like wearing a giant snuggie. However, in summer, it does get hot very quickly (which is why I literally only wear biker shorts and a tank underneath if I ever do take it out on a hot day), so I only wear it in summer if I know there will be AC. Heatstroke is a real thing. Miss Frizzle (Magic School Bus) is probably the best all-year cosplay in terms of comfort. It’s just a dress, stockings, and a wig really.

But in all honesty, most of my cosplays are relatively comfortable. There’s really nothing that I’ve been so uncomfortable that it’s made my physically ill or scarred me physically. My health is important to me, and should safety should always come first.

How do you research the cosplay before you make it?

I look up lots of reference images. I need an image of the front and back, though if it’s not available, I just improvise based on the images I do have on hand. After that, I kind of just wing it.

Do you sew your cosplays yourself?

A good majority of them, yes. There are a few exceptions to this, though: My Disney princesses are all bought since I use them in performances and want them to be durable if children come and tug on the outfit. Pearl, also being a performance cosplay, I did buy as well. For her second reformation outfit (the sleeveless with the ribbon) I got specially commissioned to look and fit me just right whereas her movie/future appearance (jacket and mom-jeans) I literally found at a thrift store. I also love to find costume pieces at thrift stores. Whether I use them as is or make alterations, they make life so much easier when you make a good find for a cheap price. Leni Loud (Loud House) is probably my favorite thrift/sew hybrid. I found a base dress, altered the top and added strap sleeves, put lace around the edges, found a blingy pair of sunglasses, bought earrings and painted them, and made bows for sandals I already had. The most expensive part of that cosplay was the wig I bought from Arda (and it’s always worth it to buy from them in my opinion.)

When I make a costume completely from scratch (like Ravio, Thranduil, any of my Link cosplays) are when I really love the costume and character and want to take on a challenge and bring it to life myself. They also tend to have pieces that can’t be altered from your everyday clothing, but that just makes me work harder and learn more!

How did you learn to sew?

My grandmother taught me how. Osaka was my first cosplay, but my mom altered it from a tee shirt we found at a thrift store and a lucky skirt find. Kabuto Yakushi (Naruto) was the first cosplay I made from scratch (and I won best novice at the convention I wore it to — even with my terrible wig, haha.) She showed me how to use patterns when we made that and my Ayame Sohma cosplay, but after that, I scrapped using patterns and I basically just eyeball everything now. It’s totally not recommended, but I’m a little weirdo and just prefer to do things the way I do. Still, I wouldn’t be able to use a sewing machine if it weren’t for her. Thanks, Nanny!

Do you make your own props?

Most of them. I don’t really use props too often as I find them cumbersome to lug around a convention (which is how I thought of the Fire Emblem, Gravity Falls, and Skyrim book boxes to store your stuff and add some extra flair to a costume.) The few props I have made include Link’s sword, his trainee shield, his original shield from Zelda 1, and Soren’s Wind Tome (which I used for Laurent (Fire Emblem: Awakening) because I didn’t finish Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) yet…) Then there’s my prized cosplay prop; Victreebel for James (Pokémon). That was all thanks to my fleece hat business in high school that taught me the skills to build that thing.

I actually think the only prop I store-bought was my Hylian Shield because it was so lightweight and easy to carry, plus I was dreading doing all those details at the time. Maybe one day I’ll make it from scratch, but for now, I’m content with my store-bought.

Do you style your own wigs?

Yes. I have been improving my styling skills a lot more since I first started. It was always a more difficult task for me, but I’ve been practicing more and more. The first one that I attempted on my own was my short-haired Rapunzel. That was basically just giving it a haircut, though. My first real styling challenge was Breath of the Wild Link. It took a long time, but I actually had fun figuring out his hair.

For most of my costumes, it’s really just the bangs that need that extra pop, to which I use Got2B gel and spray. Does the trick every time and keeps everything in place. For those who are wondering, though: No, I did not style Pearl’s wig. I am not ready for that kind of gravity-defying styling. That was all E-Bay.

What skill has been most useful for making your cosplay?

Well, sewing mostly, but other skills that have come in handy for me personally have been painting, crafting, makeup, styling, and overall decorating. Probably other stuff too, just nothing more I can think of off the top of my head.

What is the hardest thing when making a cosplay?

Probably figuring out how things connect. This is the main reason I’m timid when it comes to armor. I’ve been getting better, but I’m still having trouble figuring out how everything attaches and how to put on these kinds of costumes, which is why my Skyrim Elven Armor has been put on hold.

What was the biggest screw up you’ve had making a cosplay?

I’m not sure if I had any major crisis’ when it comes to making cosplays, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of irritating mishaps and mistakes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally sewn the sleeves on a costume inside out about 4 times before I finally got it right.

I’ve cut holes in my clothing, I’ve sewn sleeves on too tight, and I’ve even completed a hat that took hours just for it to wind up being too small when I put a wig on. I guess most of the major issues I’ve had with sewing are measurement issues, so my advice to you is to always measure and try on your costume as you go. Don’t wait until the day of the con to try out your new cosplay.

How often do you injure yourself while making a cosplay?

Not too often, I occasionally prick my finger with my sewing needles, but I haven’t had too many serious injuries. I think the worst was when I slashed my thumb with the exacto-knife when making my first shield for Link. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood.

Do you try to stay cheap or do you splurge on materials?

I am a frugal soul; if I can save, I will. That’s why I thrift so much. However, on a costume I’m really passionate about, I will spend more to ensure the quality. For example, I spent a little more going to a more shimmery material for Royal Guard Link. It cost about $50 for the blue and red material, which to me, is a lot (and that was with coupons). However, the results were 100% worth it. PS, Michaels and Joann’s ALWAYS have coupons. I totally recommend downloading both apps.

I also stand by that with wigs and contacts. I love Arda, their quality is great, but they are more expensive than Amazon. Contacts I don’t mind spending more for as well since the quality is VERY important in this case; they are going on your eyes, after all.

However, as I said, I am absolutely not opposed to going cheap. If you can make it work, make it work. My Nyo!Austria (Hetalia) cosplay came out very cute and it was literally made from bedsheets. From using mostly thrifted and recycled materials, a lot of my cosplays came to around an overall price of around $30. Some of these costumes include Mega Gardevoir (Pokemon), Tomoyo Sakagami (Clannad), Spyro (Spyro the Dragon), and Luan Loud (Loud House.)

Cosplay can be totally affordable, you just have to be creative and think a little outside the box sometimes to make it work.

Have you ever cosplayed with a partner or group?

Yes, a few times. I’d love to do more group cosplays, but we all have to think of something we all like. Luckily, two of my very good friends decided they would dress up as Steven Universe and Amethyst to go with my Pearl this year for Comic-Con and it was such a great experience! I’m trying to convince them to do others as well, such as The Loud House and The Magic School Bus with me as well, haha.

Do you try to act in character?

Always: but I don’t always succeed. It really depends on the character. Pearl I could roleplay for days. It’s probably because I connect so much with her and performing as her doesn’t hurt either. Dee Dee Magno Hall says her favorite lines to say are peoples names, and after giving it a shot myself, I totally see why. I even practiced Garnets “Stronger than you” monologue in Pearl’s voice and tone (in case no one volunteered to sing during our karaoke event) and it always makes my friends laugh.

The characters that stump me a little more are the more serious characters I choose to portray; Link, Laurent, Thranduil (the Hobbit), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), just to name a few. I’m kind of a goofball/airhead so those characters clash with my personality a little bit, but I am getting better. Blue Diamond is surprisingly the easiest of these types to stay in character for.

That being said, I love being the outgoing, oddball characters. Like I said, Pearl is second nature to me, as well as Anna from Frozen. Back in my Hetalia days, Austria and America were my go-to guys. I could act as them forever, and my friends and I literally lived as them for a while with how much we role-played. Most of the Disney Princesses it’s pretty easy for me to stay in character, especially (like I said before) Anna, Sofia the First, and Merida.

How do you react to cosplayers dressed as a character from the same anime/game/etc?

If there are some good character opportunities, I will role-play on the spot, but more often than not I will ask if we could all get a picture together. There were so many fun interactions with other Steven Universe cosplayers when my friends and I did our little group, but one of my favorite interactions was probably when I was dressed as Laurent and I stumbled across a Miriel cosplayer and I just shouted out “MOM! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!”

Do you try to duplicate your character’s expressions, walk, movements, etc?

I can talk the talk (mostly), but I have more trouble walking the walk. I’ve been trying to replicate movements better, but facial expressions I have trouble with (ironic as it’s my favorite part of drawing.) I’m not as photogenic as I’d like to be, as you could probably tell by most of my pictures being the same face, but I definitely am striving to improve on that.

What was your funniest experience of acting in character?

Okay, there’s a lot that I could share, and eventually, I want to do an article solely on cosplay “in-character” experiences, but the one I HAVE to share right now is a recent experience when I was dressed as Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

I was performing at the family day event my church helps out at my pastor’s air force base as Ariel, and after my sing-a-long, my makeup was a little smudged. I asked a volunteer where the restroom was so I could touch up before I headed back out to the crowds. I thought he’d take me to a private restroom, but he brought me to the public one where there were families waiting outside. They noticed and the dad joked “See? Even princesses have to go.” to which I laughed and gave my best Ariel shrug to play along. I went inside, fixed my makeup, and went back outside.

It wasn’t long, so the family was still outside the men’s room. As I walked by, the man’s son shouted out “Ariel, congratulations on going pee-pee!” to which I bursted out laughing. Everyone was. I mean, if you gotta congratulate a princess on using the bathroom, you picked the right one! After that, I did explain that I was just putting on makeup but I appreciated his enthusiasm and thanked him for it.

Do you compete in cosplay contests?

All the time. I love them. Whether I win or lose, I always get something out of it. I learn tips from other cosplayers, get to meet so many interesting people, and those times I do win I get prizes which is always nice as well. Most importantly, though, the memories that are made there are the very best part.

Have you won anything?

I have won quite a few. I have three trophies, a medal, a few certificates, and have won a cash prize as well. My first win was my second convention as Kabuto where I won the best novice trophy. My most recent win was for Ravio in August of 2019 with best in show. It’s amazing, I never thought I would get this far, but I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been a part of.

Again, it’s totally not about winning, but I’ll admit that it does feel really nice to have my hard work appreciated. Just as drawing, I still feel like I have a lot of room for improvement in my cosplay, so winning a few contests here and there definitely helps my low self-esteem.

Do you prefer skits or walk-ons?

I’ve only ever done walk-ons. I’ve never had anyone to do a skit with and I don’t think I could pull one off on my own. I’d love to do one eventually, but for now, our panels are good enough.

How many friends have you made because of cosplay?

Quite a lot. My Instagram is full of cosplayers I’ve met at conventions and I love seeing their cosplays and drawings, it’s all so inspiring!

Do you attend photoshoots and meet-ups outside of conventions?

Occasionally. I’ve never done a professional photoshoot (though one day I’d like to,) but I have attended a few meetups. I’ve done one for Steven Universe, Once Upon a Time, Disney, and I actually accidentally walked into a Fire Emblem: Awakening one dressed as Laurent, so that worked out.

What is the funniest reaction you’ve gotten cosplaying from people outside of the community?

The best one was when I was dressed as Link and my friend and I were on the subway. There was a mom and her kid sitting across from us and she pointed to me and said to her child, “Look, an elf! You see? Santa’s got his helpers out all year round, so you have to be good!”

I also had another wonderful experience outside of a con dressed as Link, though it’s not as funny but more just a sweet memory. It’s quite a bit, but luckily I’ve already written about it for Zelda Universe so I’ll just link it here for anyone who’s interested. 

Name a few cosplays you’re planning to do next:

I’ve got to get Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) done soon. I’ve been wanting to do this cosplay forever and I did start it, but I need to finally finish it. Dimitri (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) is also on my list to do next. Not sure about who else I want to do for sure, but some ideas that have floated around in my head have been Tilly Green (Big City Greens), Anna with her Frozen 2 look, Princess Peach (Super Mario), and a Thalmor Mage (Skyrim.)

What is your dream cosplay?

Princess Zelda from Twilight Princess. I’m still too scared to try to cosplay her. I bought a cheap starter costume that I was going to build off of and it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted, so I put it off again. One day I’ll feel confident enough to make her costume, but until then I’m totally satisfied with my Link cosplays.

What do you take into consideration when picking a character to cosplay?

Honestly, I just have to love them as a character and the costume itself has to seem do-able. I mean, I’m totally not opposed to buying cosplays if I really want to be a particular character, but like I said, making it means all the more to me. It’s my display of affection towards that character, the creators behind them, and the series as a whole.

Is cosplay serious business for you?

Yes and no. No because I don’t do it for money, likes, or internet fame. I do it because it’s fun and what I like to do. Yes because I go all out when I cosplay. I do everything I can to get the look the way I want it and I put my blood, sweat, and tears into it when I make them by hand. 

What is your favorite thing about cosplay?

Everything: Dressing up as a character I love, roleplaying them, taking photos, just everything! I would do it more often if I could!

How do you want to grow as a cosplayer?

I want to learn how to make more. I want to build armor, I want to learn new makeup and hairstyling techniques, and so much more. I’m happy where I am, but I know I can be better. I will watch others and learn from them and push myself to try new things!

Are you willing to answer questions and help other cosplayers?

Absolutely! I may not be a top dog of cosplaying, but if I can help someone with something I’ve learned along the way, I’m more than happy to help!

Writing

When did you start writing?

I started in middle school as well, I used to write a Nintendo fan fiction called “The Kirby Show,” where Kirby and his friends would get into wacky sitcom scenarios. They were really just knock-offs of the television shows I used to watch back in the day, but hey, everyone’s gotta start somewhere.

As for my original writing, I started that more in high school. I still wrote a lot of fan fiction at that point, but I was starting to develop my own characters as well. I thought it about time to think of my own creations, and I did. I remember I was in my Godmother’s car when I thought of the main three characters and since then the cast has expanded so much, their stories are much better developed, and the lore is much more solid.

When you were a beginning writer, what did you write primarily? What do you write now, primarily?  (i.e. romance, fan-fiction, poetry)

As mentioned before, I started out writing stories about characters that were not my own. Now I do all original writing — well, aside from my work at Zelda Universe. There I get to write about all the unique aspects of one of my favorite game series of all time, so there’s that as well. Writing there has helped me start writing little fandom topical posts for my own blog, such as top 10’s, reviews, and other things along those lines. 

How often do you write?

I make it a habit to try and write at least a half-hour a day. If I’m really on a roll, I could write up to a few hours a day before I get burnt out. Even though I’m not always writing, I’m always developing the stories in my head. 

When is your favorite time of the day to write?

I always write a half hour before I go to bed. The later it is, the more ideas keep rolling in. With my early hours for work now it’s harder to stay up late, but that doesn’t stop the ideas. I just gotta push myself a little harder to start earlier to have more time before I need to go to bed. 

Do you have a writing muse? If so, who/what?

Not in particular. I always just write about what I like and incorporate different aspects of my life into it. I guess I’m my own muse in that sense? I don’t know. I just write what I do know. 

What is your most popular lit piece?

Out of all my public pieces, I’d say either my “Animal Crossing Diaries” series or my “Endless Ocean” screenplay. “Vagabond” gets some decent attention as well, which is nice, but honestly, I’d be happy if there was just one person enjoying my work, so I really can’t complain. 

What is the piece you are currently writing?

Out of my public blog works, “Vagabond,” from my Zelda Universe collection I’m working on a character piece on Colin from Twilight Princess. 

What is the piece you most recently finished?

On my blog that would be my “Top 10 Favorite Fire Emblem Characters” list. For Zelda Universe, it’s actually a piece about Fire Emblem as well — It was DS week, I could write about whatever DS game I wanted to, of course I have to sneak in some Fire Emblem.

What piece are you most proud of?

While “Vagabond” definitely needs some more work, out of all the pieces I’ve posted publicly, that one is the one I am the proudest of. If anything just for Kurt and Maerwynn. They are two of my favorite characters to play around with and I’m so happy that somehow I was allowed to think these two up.

In my more private works, my fantasy story is my pride and joy. I feel so blessed to have been able to come up with these characters, and I do hope that someday I will be able to share them, whether on a television screen as I’ve always dreamed of in a novel of some sort. One day, maybe. 

What piece are you most disappointed in?

It’s not so much disappointment, but rather I’ve grown so much in my work, it’s very hard for me to look back at my first romance story. It’s a little cheesy and the dialogue is a bit clunky, some of the actions that my characters had performed totally go against what their characters have become now after spending a lot more time with them. It’s something I would love to revisit and maybe even go public with, but it’s going to take a lot of work. 

From all of your stories, who is/are your favorite character(s) and why? (try to limit it to 3)

Since I only published “Vagabond” online, I’ll stick to characters from this story in particular.

Maerwynn is definitely a favorite because she’s got a lot of qualities that I wish I was bold enough to enact myself. She speaks her mind without a care of what anyone else will think, even if it’s blatantly rude. She goes for her goals, even if they may seem ridiculous, and she pursues them with great passion and ferocity. Even with this rough and tough exterior, she’s still got a softer side that she’s just discovering in her new life at the palace. Now, I wouldn’t ever recommend being like Maerwynn ALL the time, but there’s definitely is a time and place where we could all be a little bit more like her, I think. Her confidence is the thing I admire most about her.

Kurt I connect with as well. Again, he says all the things that we all wish we could get away with at one point or another, but he knows he can because he’s royalty. However, he’s got so much going on underneath the surface as well with the complications of his past. He’s learning to open up, connect with others, and understand his feelings. Despite feeling restricted by the laws of his kingdom and the traditions of the royal family, he finds his own way to feel free and be himself. 

What is the best compliment you ever got on your writing?

My best friend who I’ve been sharing these stories with for as long as we’ve known each other told me the nicest thing not to long ago. I always laugh at myself for going so crazy in-depth with the lore and characters of my fantasy world, but she told me how she’s admired that and the love and care I put into each little thing was what made it so great. It really meant the world to me to hear that and I can’t thank her enough for all the love and support throughout the years! 

What is your main goal in writing?

I don’t know if there’s one main goal in particular, but I suppose if I had to pick just one, it would be to show good through the works of my characters and hope and pray that it inspires others to be like them. Kindness is growing scarce in the world, and if I can just inspire a little bit of it in someone, I suppose that’s all I can ask for. 

Have you ever been published?

No, but I am aiming for it. Once I complete Vagabond, give it another revise myself, and hopefully find an editor to give it another look over, I’d love to find someone to publish my book or even self publish on a platform like Amazon. Just something to get my work out there.

Questions asked by you

Who is an artist that you look up to? There are a few artists online that I follow who I just adore their work. Three that come to mind in particular are Bianca Roman-Stumpff, Bellhenge, and TheStarfishFace. Their art is so different from mine, but I think that’s probably why I love it so much (if that makes sense?)  They each have such a unique style and great subject material, I highly recommend giving them a look!

What did you think of “Frozen 2”?

I loved it. No secret that I’m a huge Frozen fan, so I was bound to like it. I was actually really nervous about how it was going to end, but I can say (without spoilers) that I am 100% satisfied with how it concluded. Also, Kristoff finally gets the spotlight that he deserves, thank you, Disney.

However, as much as I did love it, I do totally admit I do see flaws in it that could have been improved on. That being said, there was that in the first movie too and I stilled loved it. The characters have enough charm to keep the film entertaining throughout and I just adore them!

What does your family think of your art?

My parents have always encouraged me about my art and I know my grandmother loves it; I gave her a sweater with the art she liked of mine last Christmas and my mom says she wears it all the time. The rest of my family knows and supports my art as well, I  never really had any issue with my small art business and the family.

Any memorable cosplay experiences at a con?

So many. I’ve shared a few before, but I think I’d like to make a whole article on the great cosplay experiences I’ve had! There are so many to talk about and stories to share.

Is there a type of art that you would like to get into? I’ve seen a lot of people doing wood carving and burning, but that looks insanely difficult.

I’ve actually been considering wood burning, haha! It does look difficult, that’s why I’ve been hesitant, but maybe in the future I’d give it a shot. I think they’d make my Skyrim wood pieces look legit.

I’m really up for trying anything. If money wasn’t a thing, I’d have tried a lot more by now. In the future, I’d love to try needlepoint as well! 

Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity. Welcome all! If you're reading this, I'm assuming you're familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Thirty-Eight: Hopelessly Romantic ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto ] [ SasuHina, NaruSaku ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

At first glance, Hinata has never seemed much like the other girls. Those like Ino and Sakura of her year have always been so brazen, loud, forward...but little Hinata is the quiet wallflower. While they have little more to talk about than the latest gossip about boys, Hinata never seems to partake.

This would lead some to assume that she’s simply never had any interest in such topics. Too shy, too reserved to fall to fawning over whatever pretty boy her school is on about that week.

But they’d be dead wrong.

Hinata, as it turns out...is hopelessly romantic. Just...in ways variant from her classmates. While they giggle and swoon, offer gifts and confessions, she’s always been a quiet thinker of her crush.

And what a crush it’s been, ever since she was small: Naruto. A class clown when they were young. Always causing trouble, making a ruckus, picking scraps with the other boys. But where most saw disruption and delinquency, she saw something else.

Confidence. Bravery. Freedom.

Naruto never shied from who or what he was. Never let words or actions get to him...but also fought against whatever he found unjust. Sure, most would call him a hooligan for such actions, but secretly - silently - Hinata has always admired him for it.

She wishes she could be so bold, so striking.

...but it’s just not her nature.

So, instead, she quietly reminisces about what she hopes for, but realizes will likely never be. Now that they’re in high school, their growth spurts slowing, Naruto’s become a stocky jock: beloved for his skills in all things physical. Football, basketball, baseball...he plays them all. Even those like Sakura - who had rejected him in the past - can’t help but admit...he’s grown into himself. Sure, he’s still a goofball. Still gets into scrapes. But he’s not the scrawny little anklebiter he was then.

Now...now he’s one of those boys the girls all gossip about.

That just leaves Hinata to her daydreams and drawing of hearts along the margins of her notebooks.

What would she give to be so brave...as to tell him how she feels. How she’s felt for so long…!

But Naruto has eyes for Sakura: captain of the volleyball team, cheerleaders, and the track and field team. Athletic, slim, strong...and pretty.

Nothing like Hinata. She’s been on the volleyball team all through high school, but she’s still short. Still soft. She could never dare to wear those short skirts, or do those fancy drills. And goodness knows she’s not a runner or a jumper.

There’s nothing about her Naruto will ever notice.

Nothing at all.

Elbow atop her desk and chin cradled in a palm, a pencil absentmindedly doodles as their last class of the day slowly drifts by. Spring break is coming up soon, and as usual, she has no plans. Several of her classmates are heading to the coast, but...she doesn’t want to go. Being seen in a bathing suit would leave her mortified - between her curvy build and her prudish nature, she’d rather just...stay home.

But that doesn’t mean a few people haven’t tried convincing her.

“Aw, c’mon! It’ll be fun!”

“We’re gonna have big bonfires every night!”

“And we can play volleyball in the sand! Real sand!”

“And watch all the boys in their suits…!”

She’d given a sheepish smile at the girls, insisting she had too much to do at home to spend the whole week off out of town.

Despite all her daydreaming, it wasn’t going to play out like she’d pictured in her mind: meeting Naruto under the moon on the beach. Him asking what she’s doing out so late. Her replying her mind’s restless. They stroll along, talk...and then he -

“What about you, Sasuke? You two are the only two sticks in the mud!” Sakura cuts in, hands on her hips.

“My brother’s coming home from college.”

“Ugh, so? He’ll also be back all Summer, right? You can see him then - come onnn. It’s just a week!”

The Uchiha just scowls. “So you can pester me for an extra seven days when I’d normally be free of you?”

“Hey, I’ve got other things to do!”

“More like other people,” he mutters under his breath.

“You both need to get out and do something fun! Hinata, you’re always giving excuses when we try to bring you somewhere!” Sakura insists.

“Yeah, you too, Sasuke!” Naruto, sitting nearby, gives his friend a friendly punch in the shoulder. “You can get some sun on that pasty skin, eh?”

Glaring half-heartedly and rubbing his arm, Sasuke sighs curtly. “Ever think those excuses were a hint?”

“Sakura n’ I’ll drag you guys there!”

“How inviting.”

“Okay, f-fine!” Hinata suddenly blurts, tired of the back and forth. “I’ll...I’ll go!”

Everyone stares...then looks to Sasuke.

Looking disappointed she gave in, he groans. “...fine.”

She’s going to regret this...isn’t she?

Several people decide to carpool, meeting at the school parking lot the Saturday break begins. Somehow, Hiashi agrees to let Hinata go. Muttering something about “senior year” and “practically an adult”, he grants her leave without any fuss.

...a miracle, really.

All packed, Hinata has Neji drive her down, agreeing to ride with most of the girls in Sakura’s car. It’s a few hours’ drive to the beach and hotel they’ll be staying at. Thankfully, she ends up in a rear window seat, headphones on and mostly just dozing as they drive.

When they arrive, she has to admit...part of her is glad to be here. The weather is perfect, sunlight glittering across the ocean as it shifts and shimmers.

They all check in, Hinata in a room with Ino and Sakura. Despite the day being half over, they insist on dressing down to suits and hitting the water.

Hinata...disagrees.

“What?! You’ve gotta come!”

“I...I don’t have a suit…”

“How could you not bring a suit to the beach?!”

She doesn’t have a reason, just fiddling her fingers.

The rosette rolls her eyes. “Ugh, fine...at least come walk in the sand or something?”

“...okay.”

Most of their class has the same idea, most donning shorts, bikinis, or one-pieces as they wade into the water. A few linger on towels under umbrellas, some tanning in the afternoon sun.

Hinata tucks under a parasol, knees to her chest as she watches them. She’s donned a pair of shorts and a tanktop under a net-like long sleeve overshirt. Even that feels too exposing. Arms folded atop her legs, her chin rests on a forearm, eyes flickering over the beach.

Right in the center, Naruto’s tossing Sakura into the water with a squeal, the pair of them breaking into a water fight that ends with him scooping her back up.

And then, they’re...kissing…

The bottom of Hinata’s stomach drops like a cut elevator. A strange numbness seems to overtake her body.

...she knew. She knew, and yet she’d hoped against hope…!

On a strange autopilot, she abandons her seat and starts walking, turning her back on the sun and sand.

Nearby, dark eyes glance to watch her go.

The hotel grounds also have pools, gardens, and recreation areas. Hinata just...wanders among them, not sure what she feels. What she should feel. All her daydreams are officially a moot point...not that she ever truly believed them in the first place. Still...the sting of a broken heart doesn’t follow logic.

That’s the flaw.

Eventually she tucks herself atop a bench in a shady garden of trees and flowers, framed out by a little gazebo.

...she wants to just...go home. But her ride isn’t about to humor her. And she can’t call on Neji and ruin his evening to come get her.

Expression slowly crumbling, she tucks into her knees, shaking quietly.

“...here.”

Looking up with a gasp, her tear-stained face beholds none other than Sasuke. A hand extends a cold bottle of lemonade, his expression unreadable.

Immediately mortified at being seen like this, Hinata does her best to wipe at her eyes. “I...I-I’m f-fine…”

“You should keep hydrated. The heat’s deceptive.”

He nudges her knee with the bottle, not giving in until she takes it. Then he just...plops himself beside her, not reacting as she shimmies nervously away.

“W...what do you want?”

“Nothing. Just checking on you. Saw you get up and leave, you looked upset. Not hard to guess why.”

Her brow furrows.

“...everyone knows, Hinata. It’s...been pretty obvious.”

...oh. Looking to her knees, Hinata considers her bottle before popping it open and sipping sullenly.

“...for what it’s worth...I’m sorry.”

‘It’s n-not your fault.”

“No, but it still fucking sucks.”

She shoots him a look at his language, but he ignores it.

“Look...I’m not an expert at this stuff. But...you can do better. Naruto’s a nice guy, sure. But he’s a meathead. You’re a lot brainier than he is. You shouldn’t settle on someone who can’t even keep up with you.”

“That d-doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care if a person is...is smart or not. He’s kind, and...brave.” She tucks into herself, then whispers, “...I wish I was like him.”

“Naruto’s ninety percent bravado, Hinata. He adapted it. Had to. What you see isn’t all he is.”

“I k-know that. No one is. But…”

“I get it. I do. I used to be jealous of how easily he shrugged things off.” Leaning forward, Sasuke braces forearms atop his knees, watching the sun set over the distant water. “...but things do get to him. He just pretends they don’t. You can fake it til you make it...but until then? It still hurts. We all just...deal with it differently.” He gives her a glance. “...just like now. You’ll deal with it in time. For now, though...it hurts.”

Side eyeing him, Hinata asks, “...have you ever...ever had someone do this to you…?”

“No. Never liked anyone like that. Never really been my...style.”

“...then how do you know what it’s like?”

“I don’t. Not from personal experience. But I can still observe. I’ve seen Sakura break Naruto’s heart more times than I can count. And now he’s got what he wants. Or...what he thinks he wants.”

Hinata can’t help but find herself a little jealous. He’s never liked anyone? Never been consumed by daydreams and wishing and wondering? Never had that ripped out from under him?

...she finds it a little hard to believe.

“...why did you r-really come out here?”

“I told you why.”

“But why would you care? We’re...we’re not friends.”

“...no. But we could be. You and I have our similarities. Maybe that means we’d make okay friends.”

Her brow still furrows. “...I’m fine, Sasuke. You...you can go back now. I just...need some time alone.”

“You sure?”

Well…

“I’ve got about as much reason to go back as you do. I’d rather not see...that,” Sasuke replies. “So to be perfectly honest, here’s just fine with me. If...you don’t mind the company.”

“...that’s fine.”

They linger in their postures as the sun goes down, Hinata still sipping her lemonade. She feels like she should be crying more, but...she can’t bring herself to do it in front of Sasuke. That would be...weird.

Instead, she just feels a strange numbness. How is she supposed to go spend the evening and night in the same room as Sakura, knowing she’s taken all her hopes and dreams?

Wore out, she heave a sigh and just...collapses her shoulder against Sasuke’s.

He gives her a glance...but doesn’t object.

Maybe they’ll just...stay out here a little longer.

     This...got a lot longer than usual, and honestly it could have been a lot longer still, but...it's late, as usual, lol      Poor Hinata, losing what she's been hoping for. But, Sasuke has a point...maybe Naruto's not all Hinata's built him up to be. Daydreams are just that, after all: dreams. Rarely based in reality.      ...I'd say more but honestly my mind is mush - time for bed! Thanks for reading~

[antivanbrandy]

this is... very long. read more at your own risk xD

honestly that addition to that post is really shaking me up because like, holy shit, this is something i have been beating myself up over for a long time. and in before any assumptions, no i do not begrudge these kids their skills or their success, it’s awesome they’re doing so well, and yes i support them, and no i don’t see them as competition! but i am absolutely my own hardest critic and i am constantly disappointed in myself, constantly disappointed it’s taken me 30 years to even start to find the right paths let alone head down them, it’s taken me twice as long to be half as skilled. i don’t have to be competing against others to feel let down by my own lack of progress

it never occurred to me before that i didn’t have a fraction of the readily available resources or support systems of today during my formative art years

i lived in a very strict household. there were two sets of rules there; the ones for everyone else, and the ones for me. i wont go into the guts of it, save to say that my stepfather saw me as competition for my mother’s affection and got satisfaction from taking it out on me

anyway, back on track: even in my earliest memories, i was constantly drawing. all day, every day. but my mother was poor and we didn’t have much. i drew what i could remember of the characters in the disney movies i’d seen, and i had two on vhs, aladdin, and the beauty and the beast. i watched them over and over and drew my lil heart out, but had no real references

when my mother met and married my step father in the mid 90s, the vhs’s were taken away. i was no longer allowed to watch movies, i was not allowed to watch tv. we didn’t have the internet at home, and we had no books. i wasn’t even allowed on the front lawn on my own, so when i say i had no references to draw from, i’m not exaggerating. but i kept on drawing, kept on trying to draw those characters i loved from memory. i did my baby best

in the early 00s i made a new friend at school, and she introduced me to anime. i fell in love with it. she would tape card captor sakura and digimon and bring them into school so i could watch them (we would get to homeroom an hour early and use the tv and vhs player in the room before the school day began). my art style turned into a lanky spiky terrible tryhard anime mess, but i was living. i continued to draw my little heart out, and fill my days with escapist self insert daydreams about my fave animes

this entire time, through both the disney and anime phases of my life, i was going through roughly an entire 500 sheet ream of printer paper every month to two months, as that’s all i had to draw on. i’m not exaggerating when i say i drew a lot. every spare moment i had was devoted to it, and i had huge folder upon folder upon folder full of my drawings

it didn’t affect my grades btw, i was an A&B student

a year or so into this anime phase, i got my first job, and used my pay to buy myself one of those terrible ‘how to draw manga’ books every other payday. i poured over every detail in them, absorbed them like a sponge. they were all i had to reference, all i had to grow from

bloody fucking hell, if i could only go back and slap those damn books out of my stupid, desperate, impressionable little hands, i would. they were poison. they taught me terrible clunky, wildly incorrect habits and practices. they helped crystalise so many bad anatomy habits that i am still to this day trying to unlearn. there’s no doubt in my mind that they, and my naive lauding of them, helped me stagnate and lost me years of potential progress

my parents wanted me to draw realism, but didn’t seem to understand that to draw realistically i needed to... you know... have references to draw from. i was not allowed to draw them, and i was not allowed to leave the house, and i was not allowed to buy any more books. they saw my inability to pull photo-realistic portraits from my ass memory as a personal slight against them

early-mid 00s i found deviantart through the school’s internet and got my first taste of community among artists, and i was instantly enamoured. i didnt have any art friends at school, it was just me. but suddenly, there was art at my fingertips! i made friends, made small progress toward improving. and then my stepfather found out, stormed into school, and demanded they block my access to the site. they did

i was banned from drawing at home. he took my shitty how to draw manga books away and was set to punish me if i drew. i was also at this time being threatened with being pulled out of school and sent somewhere ‘i had no friends'. i was barrelling towards graduation and my part time job took up most of my free time after school and on weekends, and i no longer had my fun hobby and stress relief outlet in drawing, or my art friends on deviantart. i drew when i could, like in a friends school diary, or on receipt paper at work, but my stepfather had a way of knowing everything and punishing me for all of it (this goes well beyond the art thing, but like i said i wont get into the guts of it because it's bleak as shit)

i left home less than six months after i graduated high school, and i had a brief foray into drawing cutesy gory horror themed stuff, but by then i was so used to not drawing that i just... stopped. i was working myself into exhaustion, going to uni, learning to manage living out of home, partying with friends, and juggling it all with my first serious relationship. finding time to draw felt impossible, and because my entire post-stepfather childhood consisted of me having everything i showed interest in derided and taken away, i was used to just... doing without. i just shut down and lost interest to protect myself, because pining is terrible

i all but stopped drawing for about six years. the occasional geometric pattern doodle while i was on the phone, or an eye. no proper drawings

in the end, the thing that got me back into it was when skyrim released in 2011. and it was hard. i knew i didn’t want to draw anime or kitschy cute horror stuff any more, that i had to find my own style, but it was so difficult to develop. i was in my mid 20s at this point, my shitty habits and expectations felt fixed and i didn’t know where to start. i gave deviantart another shot, but it didn’t feel like it fit any more, everyone i knew there was gone i couldn’t find my place. i met some friends, moved over to tumblr. bought my first tablet for my 25th birthday. bought some anatomy books, loomis and hogarth, but to this day i’ve not read them properly. tried to follow artist’s whose style’s i admired. i finally had access to tools and support i needed to improve

six years later, i’m still struggling. it seems insurmountable sometimes. i know i’ve made progress in that six years, but it feels... too little too late. i struggle with wanting to quit every day, and even now i only draw once or twice a month. the amount of art behind me could fill several landfills, they do make a sizeable chunk of at least one. but the road ahead is so overwhelming, and so long. i don’t know where to really start to get better. i know i should study realism, but at this point, even though i now have the tools, the references, at my fingertips thanks to, y’know, being an adult with internet access, i feel trapped by that little girl who kept getting all her attempts to improve shot down. i still feel like that silly little girl who wasted time and money on learning bad habits and bad anatomy. i feel held back, which is foolish, but i do

to wonder what i could have become with access to all this back when i was a teen? with a little support? i can’t even imagine tbh

but realising that i still managed to make it this far despite being cut off and isolated from any kind of community during my formative art years is comforting, in its own way. the thought of where to go from here is still so daunting, but at least i have access to the means for the time being. and who knows? maybe one day it’ll all click, and i’ll be able to make sense of the mechanics of all this. a girl can hope

[raendown]

Pairing: ShikamaruSakura Word count: 1625 Soulmate au: The one where you have a limited stack of sticky notes that, when you write on them, will appear before your soulmate at some point during that day.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

Chapter 119: ShikamaruSakura

Sometimes it occurred to Sakura to wonder where the sticky notes came from. Where they made of trees like real paper? Could they be recycled and made in to new products with the same properties? These were questions which would forever go unanswered, of course, because she had absolutely no intention of ever ruining any of the notes she had received from her soulmate over the years. Each one of them was tucked away and kept safe in a box underneath her floorboards, a secret hoard to cheer her up on the days when it felt as though she might never find them.

When she was younger Sakura had considered blatantly asking who and where they were instead of relying on any accidental hints like everyone else did. Until then they had only communicated by sending each other small childish doodles, conversing in the only way they knew how until both of them learned to write. Her first lessons in letters, however, came with a warning from her academy teachers. As a future shinobi it would endanger the village to give away their location, not to mention cause possible conflicts if it turned out their soulmates were loyal to a village Konoha was currently at war with. Sakura went home that night with angry tears in her eyes and threw her little stack of sticky notes against the wall. What good was it being able to talk to them if she might never get to meet them? What good was it to love someone you could never be with?

Over the years as she grew older Sakura came to understand the practicality of it, like all shinobi do. She still didn’t like it but it was rather telling that her soulmate never asked for any information about her either. Somewhere out there in the world was another shinobi whose soul was bound to hers.

She did manage to pick up a few small hints, though. Her soulmate seemed fairly laid back and offered smart advice to any vague questions she asked, so they were probably intelligent. He said something about a ponytail once – and she only called him ‘he’ out of some vague instinct that his speech patterns seemed more masculine than feminine. Honestly she would have been fine either way.

As most people did, Sakura failed to pay attention to just how often she used her sticky notes until one day she realized that there were only a handful left. That was when it finally hit home that this was it, the last few times she would ever be able to communicate with her other half and then she might never find them again. After spending several days crying for lost opportunities and ignoring Ino-pig’s questions about what was getting her so down, Sakura finally sent a note to her soulmate, cramped writing squeezing in to the limited space. It was the fifth last note she would ever send him.

I only have a few more of these left. If we never find each other then I want you to know I will never forget you. We’ve never met but I think I love you.

Later that day she found a sticky note pressed to the door of her fridge, professing the same sentiments. It was as succinctly worded as they usually were yet there was so much emotion in that short sentence that Sakura couldn’t help breaking down in tears all over again. She was glad right then that she had finally moved out on her own so that no one could see the absolute disaster she had made of herself, propped up against the her kitchen cupboards with salt crusting on her cheeks and a pale yellow square of paper clutched tightly like a precious jewel.

Sakura wished she could say that she had enough patience to wait and use her last few notes for something truly important but in reality she squandered them just as she had squandered the rest, sending pointless messages just so some strange man out there in the world would know that she was thinking of him. Over the years ahead of them, she hoped that he would never think she had stopped thinking of him. She was absolutely sure that she never would.

On the day her last sticky note was sent, it held nothing more momentous than a single carefully inked word: goodbye. As soon as her pen lifted with the intention of having finished her note, the paper disappeared from beneath her fingers as though it had never been there. At some point during the day it would appear before her other half and carry to him perhaps the last words she would ever have the chance to say to him.

That day passed almost painfully slow. When Naruto came by and found her with a dark cloud over her head he retreated to a safe distance down the road before sending out a clone to fetch the big guns. Ino, when she arrived, marched in to Sakura’s apartment as though she belonged there more than its occupant. There were protests, insults, and sharply spoken words. None of it swayed Ino from her determination to see Sakura up off the couch and out of her funk.

Only one of those goals was accomplished. An hour later found Sakura at the café two blocks over surrounded by chattering friends. She didn’t particularly feel like socializing at the moment and luckily Ino seemed satisfied with her lack of escape attempts, deeming that enough of a win for now. With a heavy sigh Sakura closed her eyes and let herself fall sideways on to whoever it was that had happened to sit next to her. From the faint scent of cigarette smoke, she would have guessed Shikamaru.

Her genius friend said nothing about being made in to a leaning post, allowing her to peacefully drift in and out between the present moment and her own morose thought. She remained undisturbed until the entire table lit up with enthusiastic cat calls and someone jolted her perch from the opposite side.

“Go on Shikamaru, read it!”

Sakura cracked one eye open to see that there was a pale yellow sticky note stuck to Shikamaru’s shochu glass. A wave of pain ripped through her and she stubbornly closed her eyes again, unable to stand even the sight of someone else’s happiness when hers was already a lost opportunity. Oddly, she could feel a light tremble in her friend’s body as he reached for the note awaiting him.

“What’s it say!?” she heard Ino demand, probably leaning across the table to try and sneak a glance for herself. Shikamaru’s breath stirred the hair on top of Sakura’s head.

“Not much; it just says goodbye,” he murmured quietly. Sakura’s eyes flew open again at the same time Naruto snorted.

“The hell?”

“Naruto, don’t.” Shikamaru was shaking his head, an unfathomably sad expression caught in the lines of his frown. “She…I don’t know who she is. But this is the last of her stack. I knew it was coming soon but – look, do you guys mind if I go? Suddenly I’m not in the mood for drinks.”

He slid out from underneath a paralyzed Sakura’s weight and excused himself without waiting for an answer. Everyone else broke out in muted gossip the second his back was turned, passing worried questions back and forth about whether he was going to be okay or not. Pushing herself upright, Sakura forced herself to lift her head and look at the note Shikamaru had left behind.

Black ink on pale yellow paper, her own handwriting stared back at her.

She was scrambling out of her seat before she had even fully processed what it all meant, barreling out of the café and ignoring the startled shouts of the friends she left behind. Once she was out on the street she looked in both directions frantically, catching sight of a high ponytail as it went around a corner a couple dozen feet away, and took off running in that direction.

As soon as she had him in her sights again she was crying out for him to stop and wait. Shikamaru paused and looked over his shoulder at her, irritated and sad and obviously just wanting to be alone. Her news couldn’t wait, however.

“Shika wait! Your note–!”

“I don’t want to talk about it, alright?”

“No it’s – it was from me!”

“You…what?”

Shikamaru stared at her as Sakura came to a skidding halt, almost crashing in to his chest before frantically digging through her hip pouch. After a few heart pounding seconds she came back up with a square of paper neatly folded in half and kept lovingly free of any other wrinkles. When she thrust it in to his hands he had it open almost before her fingers had let go.

Then he stared at the words inside, no doubt marveling at his own handwriting the same way that she had.

“You’re my soulmate,” he said quietly. Sakura trembled.

“I…yeah.” Any other words were lost to the quivering of her fingers, the catch of breath in her throat. Shikamaru looked up at her with his dark eyes shining brightly.

“All this time you’ve been right here.”

Sakura opened her mouth to make some reply, probably something as speechlessly halting as before, but she wasn’t given time to say much of anything. Before she could do more than draw a breath Shikamaru had his arms around his waist and his lips pressed to her own. His kiss was clumsy, a little awkward, but it was warm and real and it belonged to her.

It was her first kiss with her soulmate. To her, it was perfect.