#all you have to do is-- *forcibly removed from the premises*

[von-eldritch]

@hclluvahctel replied to your post “//also, unrelated to the everything going on, but...”:

Tell it to Husk. Wise old bartender is good at keeping secrets wink

​//I mean, she might but only because Husk would NOT be able to utilize it

[pharawee]

It's Friday Sunday, and that means it's time for more omegaverse shenanigans. 🥳

Sadly, this will be my last Pit Babe novel commentary post for a while because the main story only has 25 chapters. But worry not! Apparently there's a few extra chapters and if anything significant happens you'll be the first to know (but don't be surprised if it's just chapter upon chapter of kinky sex - that's just how Daddy and Papa Charlie and Babe roll).

If you want to catch up, you can find parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 here.

As for this part - expect major spoilers, shenanigans (both omegaverse and not), family reunions, family reunions... and fun card games. But more on that later.

For now, let's get back to Babe, who's apparently rich enough to own a white Ferrari. Show-off. He's currently on his way back to Khun Tony, and he's such a brat about it that he fools the guards into letting him through. Things escalate from there. Babe threatens to bring Tony to justice once and for all, to which Tony reacts with mild bemusement. He's no longer interested in Babe since he's lost his powers, and he even taunts him with Charlie's (supposed) death. No, Tony didn't want Charlie dead. He merely wanted to incapacitate him in order to bring him back home (because car accidents are such a precise science...). It's a pity that Charlie died but, really, at least he's free now. Or something.

This man must have stupid amounts of money to throw at all of his plans because, quite honestly, they're shit. Oh well, at least we know where Way learned his... well, unnecessarily long-winded (TEN YEARS!!) ways.

Babe has heard enough but sadly Kenta steps in before he can get his hands on Tony. This leads to more taunting and the appearance of Way, who casually slings Babe over his shoulder and forcibly removes him from the premises. Which leaves the guards like, "who tf even was that weirdo?" Oh, to be a guard in Khun Tony's employment...

(photoshop is my passion)

Meanwhile, Charlie (alive and, uh, relatively well) is still busy having his stolen powers exorcised by Babe's long-lost dad (the real one this time). The more he uses a particular ability, the longer it takes to meditate out of him. No, seriously, Reval and Charlie are basically just sitting in a room mind-palacing the powers away. Apparently it's very draining.

They also talk about Charlie's guilt, and how he believes it's best to stay away from Babe as not to hurt him again. Sure, he could leave the final decision to Babe but even that, he fears, might be selfish of him as that leaves Babe with the burden of having to decide in the first place. No matter what he does, it will cause Babe both happiness and pain - just like when Charlie's initial selfishness brought him closer to Babe and then almost drove him away entirely. Charlie's mind is going in circles. He's so protective of Babe that he doesn't realise - no matter his intentions, no matter his inaction - he can't untangle himself from the hurt he's already caused and will cause going forward.

Oh, and by the way? That moment when Charlie "died" in the hospital and Babe thought he was getting his powers back and had to listen in on every excruciating detail of Charlie's body shutting down? Yeah, turns out that was Charlie causing (mass) hallucinations and slowing down his body functions. Poor Alan had to go identify Charlie's body in the morgue while Babe was in such a bad way that he basically stopped functioning.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: what the hell, Charlie, you positively traumatised the poor boy. Could you maybe have kicked the bucket a little less dramatically? Did you really have to enact all of Babe's worst nightmares to make it more convincing? Just because you mean well (and didn't do it over the span of TEN YEARS for weird omegaverse breeding purposes) doesn't make it all right.

But more on that later.

Babe has made his way to a safe house. There, he meets Pete - the oldest of Tony's sons and currently AWOL, same as Babe. Pete is adorable, all sunshine and puppies and right-hand man of a local mafia boss. Or something. Because, you see, Pete figured out early on that the only way to leave Tony was to seek the protection of someone even worse. So he started working with the mafia, as you do. Apparently, he's so good at his job that he's convinced them all to go straight. Now he's studying to become a doctor. Oh, and also planning Tony's demise by preparing a really effective presentation.

That's where Babe comes in. Him visiting Tony's mansion was all a distraction - a sleight of hand, if you will. Even though he complains about Way manhandling him (Pete offers to get him a masseuse for the pain) it was all part of their plan:

While Babe distracted the guards by making a big stink, Way snuck into Tony's evil room of plotting (or something) and stole all of his evil data. When he later dragged Babe outside, he used the opportunity to slip the data stick into his pocket. On it there's evidence of all of Tony's evil business transactions. It would be easy to give it to the police, but Pete cautions against it. The evidence would simply vanish - something that has apparently happened many times before. Instead, Pete plans to reveal all of Tony's evil deeds in a way that makes it impossible for anyone to ignore.

We cut to Charlie and Babe sharing a cute moment. Wait, what?

"I've never loved anyone this much before." Babe's voice was soft, as if he didn't really want to accept reality, but he couldn't help but share those feelings with [Charlie]. "I'm afraid that if I love you too much, it will make you uncomfortable. [...] I'm afraid I can't love you as well as you love me."

Is it a dream? A memory? A (shared) vision? Whatever it is, before Babe wakes up from it, he and Charlie share some fundamental truths about themselves. About how Babe doesn't really know how to act now that he's in a relationship because he's never been allowed to be in love. About how he feels vulnerable and unsure, afraid of taking too much instead of giving back. But Charlie reassures him that he likes Babe just the way he is. He feels very loved, and anyway, he's also never loved anyone before so it's not like he has any grounds for comparison.

Meanwhile, Charlie also just woke up. He's given away the last of his powers and he's very exhausted. Jeff is with him to keep him company. Outside, it's just stopped raining. The rain makes Charlie think of Babe because it accompanied them throughout their relationship: when they argued, when they fought, and when they first became boyfriends.

"And the first day you became a normal person, it also rained," Jeff added with a small smile [...]. "But you couldn't see it in time. Only I saw." "Yes, when I woke up, the rain had already stopped." "Maybe that's a good sign." "A good sign?" "Yes," the young man nodded lightly. "Because the rain has stopped. [...] The sky is clear now."

What is this? Allegory? In my omegaverse novel??

There's always been a shadow hanging over Charlie and Babe's relationship - heavy and dark like a rain cloud, constantly reminding them of their past, their powers and the lies it took for them to even meet. Charlie has worked hard to rid them of their powers, and Babe is busy taking action against Tony. Maybe honesty and trust are all that stand in the way of them getting their happily ever after...

Until then, all they have is last night's dream, because as it turns out Charlie shared Babe's vivid memory. Babe's powers were the last to get exorcised and perhaps it created a momentary psychic bond between them. You never know with these omegaverse x-men.

What follows is the moment we've all been waiting for: the grand finale. The Ides of... whatever month this is but I hope Khun Tony gets stabbed to death by all of his adopted children. Et tu Way!

Meanwhile, Khun Tony is throwing a party. And by party I mean a human trafficking auction where he sells off some of his beloved children to fellow rich people. Charming. Why bother with a plan at all? Why not set everything on fire?

Right, because Pete really, really wants everyone to see his presentation.

Currently, Babe is disguising himself as a waiter. We all know waiting (and retail) staff are invisible to most people so no one recognises him except for one lone guard who's so smitten that he asks Babe out on a date.

Pete is also in disguise while Way pretends to be a good son and accompanies Tony for some good old-fashioned evil mingling. Their plan is to disrupt the auction and reveal all of Tony's illegal machinations.

This is a very questionable idea because I don't know about you but if I was at an auction trying to buy a child I'd probably not care if the auctioneer was evil. I'd probably ask for a slice of the evil pie.

Just as Babe is about to set their plan in motion, he's interrupted by Kenta. Uh-oh.

But, much like Pete and Way, Kenta too has had enough of Tony and was just waiting for the perfect moment to act. He assures Babe that he won't interfere. In fact, it was him who let Way into Tony's evil room of plotting to gather all of the incriminating info on him. Et tu Kenta!

"About helping you guys, this is a personal matter. [...] I have a brain, I can think for myself, and I know what to do. [...] But not everyone has many choices. Especially me. I can't make the same choice as you. [...] So, this is the best I can do. [...] You can handle the rest yourself, right?"

And so, Kenta leaves this story (presumably with some of Tony's financial assets) never to be seen again. What a shame. Kim's existence in the series will hopefully fix this.

Meanwhile, the auction is about to begin. I mean, the... uh, fundraising for poor, underprivileged children who also happen to have powers. Everyone's delighted - except for the poor kids who are led on stage one by one and then sold off like priced cattle. The thought alone makes Babe sick. Would the same have happened to him if he hadn't run away that day (no Babe, I thought we had established that you'd have been part of the breeding program...)?

And now, after having watched episode 5 of the tv series, I wonder if this is where the plot will lead us in lieu of the omegaverse plot. Tony mentioned an auction. I wonder if his goal is to sell Babe (and any other of his adopted children) for profit.

Anyway.

Babe's thoughts are cut short by a guard patrolling in front of Pete and his hiding place. Babe decides to check things out but he's quickly overwhelmed by the much stronger guard. He starts choking Babe and things almost go from bad to worse until someone unexpected comes to Babe's rescue.

That someone is Charlie - and there's a short, sweet and intense reunion between them that proves all of his fears wrong:

"I'm sorry." "It's okay," Babe let go of the hug and immediately responded without stopping for a second, his palms framed the other man's cheeks, before kissing his entire face: his forehead, nose, cheeks and lips. "It's okay, Charlie. Really, it's okay." The beautiful alpha hugged the tall young man again while repeating "It's okay" over and over again until the listener felt guilty.

Well, that was easy. But more on that later.

Charlie, Babe and Pete quickly catch up and then join forces. Pete is amazed that Charlie gave up his powers to escape Tony's clutches, going so far as to even fake his death to protect his loved ones. He's also amazed that he'd even dare come here - powerless and without a nifty presentation.

(And also, how does this whole having no powers thing even work? Did Reval - and in turn Charlie when he stole Babe's powers - rewrite Charlie's whole dna? Because how else would that even affect Tony's evil breeding program? And why am I so concerned about the specifics of omegaverse shenanigans? For all I know none of these characters even know or care about dna.)

It's quickly decided - probably due to Charlie's lack of nifty presentations - that they'll continue following Pete's plan. But wait, where is Jeff? There's no way he'd have let Charlie come here on his own!

Back at the auction, another child is led onto the stage to be sold. It's none other than Jeff. The auction grinds to a halt while Tony attempts to save face. This leaves Jeff with enough time to introduce himself and his powers. His name is Jeff, he's a 20-year-old omega and he can see the future.

"In no more than ten minutes, everyone in this room will have the same future." Jeff looked around the room with a bright smile before saying his next sentence which made the entire meeting room fall silent. "That is, death." The little Omega smiled broadly as if his own prediction was very pleasant.

I love Jeff so much. Make them suffer!

He then adds that there's a bomb hidden in the building and it will go off if even one person attempts to leave. Who even needs nifty presentations when you've got... Oracle Omega (no seriously, this is what the novel - or rather, the machine translation - calls him. Maybe it's his code name).

Everyone is then forced to watch Pete's presentation. I really, really hope it looks something like this:

I'm not joking, it has talking cartoon dogs. Interactive talking cartoon dogs overlaid with incriminating voice files of Tony.

Turns out Tony's guests are okay with human trafficking and buying children but they draw the line at violence and murder embezzlement. Everyone is all shocked and clutching their pearls and secretly very glad that their names don't come up in this weird cartoon dog powerpoint presentation.

Tony's acting all cool until the cartoon dogs reveal that this presentation is broadcast live and for everyone to see - this includes live footage of the auction.

But it's never too late to fix your past mistakes so Tony draws his gun on Jeff because he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Luckily, Way quickly intervenes before Tony can fire his gun, but even though Tony's many guards are somewhat suspicious of a little guy with a bomb and someone who hypnotises people for a living, they're quickly overpowered. In the control room above, Charlie, Babe and Pete don't fare much better.

Everything seems lost until there's a loud crash.

It's Alan in a black supercar and he's crashed through the doors leading to the auction hall.

They're on the second floor (it is sadly later revealed that Alan didn't drive up the stairs - the car was already parked in front of the doors because this is what rich people do to impress other rich people, I guess).

But Alan isn't alone. He's brought several other racers, among them Six (Babe's old rival who was probably turned into either Kim or Winner in the series). Six is a powerful alpha who can cause mass hallucinations that are so strong that they're banned by law.

Yeah.

Tony's guards are going down!

Meanwhile, Tony has had enough. He locks down the whole mansion so no one can escape. Charlie, Babe and Pete make their way up to the roof because there might be a skylight without security doors. They have guns, the many guards have guns, but it's okay because this is where Pete enigma powers come in.

You see, Pete has super control over his whole body, meaning that he never misses a shot.

I guess this explains this bit in the series (except for the part where the arrows are all over the place). But also congrats to Way for his future boyfriend with amazing body control.

While Pete is busy being awesome, Charlie and Babe lament the fact that they're probably going to die here when there's so much sex still to be had. :((((

Things are looking dire indeed. They're surrounded and out of bullets. One of the guards takes aim at Babe but before the bullet can hit him Charlie intervenes by jumping into its path. Miraculously, he's okay.

But that's because a few steps away Way has also jumped into the bullet's path and it's hit him instead. Babe is in shock. He hates Way for what he's done but in a way he's still his best friend. While Alan unsuccessfully tries to stop the bleeding Babe comes closer:

"Babe…" Way's dry voice called out his name as soon as he knelt beside him. "This is all I can do." Babe was silent, he just stared at his former best friend's face, tears flowing silently, without him even realizing it. "I know whatever price I pay, it probably won't be enough. But this is all I can do." Way's voice is very soft, as light as his breath. "…. I'm sorry for being a friend like this.."

And then he dies. Babe is inconsolable, sobbing and tightly hugging Way's lifeless body. He's still angry with Way, and he'll never forgive him for what he's done, but he didn't want him to die.

They better change this whole part in the series or I'll riot. I watched Nut Supanut die once in Something in my Room and I still haven't recovered.

Their victory is overshadowed by Way's death. Tony is apprehended alive and taken into custody. His evil alpha trafficking and breeding program is no more.

A little while later, Charlie finds Babe sitting alone in the mansion's garden. They talk, and Charlie apologises once more for letting Babe believe that he was dead. If Babe wants him to, he will disappear from his life and even stop racing cars so that they'll never have to meet again. This is all he can do: give Babe the freedom to decide for himself. But Babe only asks him if he truly wants to leave, and of course Charlie doesn't. And that's that. Babe has made his choice. He has decided long ago that he wants Charlie in his life.

Their long-lasting painful lives ended in the garden of the mansion that raised them to grow up like caged animals, allowing them to meet and fall in love. Today, everything has ended. It ended with the falling rain washing away their blood stains, sweat and tears, as well as a sweet kiss that he had been thinking about for a long time, making him feel able to stand in the rain without feeling afraid.

Oh, the rain allegory (and also oh, the bad machine translation)!

The novel ends quietly with Way's funeral, eerily similar to Charlie's fake funeral a few weeks prior. It's attended by the same handful of people. Even the clothes they wear are the same (which is convenient, I guess, but also... ouch!). Despite his many wrongdoings, people loved Way - and this includes Babe. And as it turns out, it was Way who got rid of whoever caused Babe's racing accident. He never told anyone about it.

Babe stays behind with Charlie and mourns his friend. He recognises that his feelings of friendship and betrayal are both valid and important (and later on it's established that Babe actively works on processing his traumatic experiences with the help of medication and therapy - and you know, I really appreciate the novel's nuanced approach to a character's mental health. It's an incredibly rare thing to see in Thai BL and an even rarer thing in most kinky stories). He won't forgive Way but...

"In the next life, please be kind to me. Don't deceive me again [...] Be a good friend, idiot!"

Which is as much of a peace-offering as anyone can hope for - wishing to meet each other again in the next life under better circumstances. Negl, I teared up because it's such a bittersweet thing to say. 😭

Meanwhile, Alan and Jeff have gone ahead and are talking in the car. Their ending is vaguely romantic (with their growing relationship hopefully developing further in the bonus chapters) but for now, all Alan asks of Jeff is to accept him in his heart as his brother. Please, don't phi nong me, novel!

And because this is Pit Babe the novel, we get one last drawn out sex scene that consists of Charlie trying to cheer Babe up by suggesting a game of naughty cards. A bit like strip uno, I guess. Naturally, Babe wins, but Charlie is allowed to leave his glasses on - and wear nothing but an apron while he gives Babe the bestest and longest and absolutely mindblowing (yes, there's a lot of blowing too) dicking of his life. Babe, my man, enjoy. You truly deserve it.

The End.

No wait, the novel actually ends with Babe and Charlie racing again for this year's title of King of the Hollow. Charlie is very skilled now, and it's very close but I'm relieved to say that Babe's experience and talent isn't all for nothing and OF COURSE HE FUCKING WINS.

The End.

Hold on, wait. I forgot about the part where Charlie takes Babe to see Reval - his real father. And of course Babe forgives him and it's all very sweet and they live happily ever after.

THE END. For real this time. Except for the bonus chapters. And unless the mpreg happens there (I mean, Jeff and North are technically available...), that's it for the omegaverse shenanigans.

When I first started writing these commentary posts I never thought they'd become so detailed and long - or that people would actually be interested in reading them. Thank you so much to everyone who left replies and tags. Sharing the insanity and reading everyone's reactions was honestly the best part of it all. May Pit Babe the series treat us kindly, and may none of us ever pop up in a cartoon dog powerpoint presentation. 🙏

[fallenangels1987]

lets face it. the joker sucks as a batman villain. everybody thinks hes good because hes got a cool character design and hes been around since forever and writers keep trying to make him good, but in concept alone he fails to tap into any of the central themes or intrigue of batman, and nor does he reflect any of bruces internal conflict. really, the only use the joker has ever had was creating harley quinn, but now shes an entirely separate character from him so any short-lived relevance he may have had with her is gone. but contrary to what some may think, i dont think the joker should die. that decision would be a big deal and he'd be so dramatic about it, we'd have an entire plotline dedicated to it.... no one wants that. no one wants to see his stupid joker face for longer than physically necessary. it would also be reversed by the next reboot. no, we need a plan to make him irrelevant. more so than he already is, i mean.

first, we have batmans rogues gallery do a drag race. whos judging? poison ivy and the riddler. its green-themed. but see this is genius. cuz who hates the joker more than poison ivy and the riddler? yeah, harley quinn, who is not in attendance cuz she knows whats about to happen. in fact, she planned this, and shes using this as her cover to mess around with selina and try to convince her to be harley and pams third again. it wont work, but the dedication and jakey-haterism is commendable.

the drag race itself is not the focus, however. see, the entire thing has been set up to generate the most drama possible. everyone except for the joker has received invitations that say the show (which is being live broadcast to an unwilling audience of 150,000, all of whom thought they were watching the morning news up until 5 minutes ago, and found themselves unable to switch the broadcast off) will be recording their every move, so they better be on their worst behavior. the joker, unbeknownst to this, is being his usual asshole self, but not even in a fun conniving way, just in the regular asshole way.

at some point, he starts a fight. tensions are already high and hes the fucking joker. just let him dig his own grave here. he starts a fight and his (already shitty, i should add) outfit gets torn. now he has to spend all of his time that should be spent on makeup on fixing the stitching of this dress, and its going awful, and hes been forcibly removed from the makeup/costume making zone so hes just sitting on the stoop outside with a single spool of thread trying to fix this poofy ass dress. soon enough hes got 5 minutes left on the clock and hes still not finished, so hes like fuck it! im just gonna do my makeup and hope for the best. the makeup is atrocious, predictably, he doesnt even get to finish the eyeliner, but he tries to go back inside nonetheless. oops, he got locked out! thank you, tetch. now hes gotta go through the front, all the while trying not to get dirt on this dress which is falling apart on top of him, knowing full well poison ivy and the riddler and the rest of the queens are making fun of him for being late.

he gets back in. by this point, hes sweating like a damn hog, his makeup is running, but hes HERE. he sees amygdala preparing to go down the runway. no no no, the JOKER cant have that. the joker cant have anyone stealing his rightfully earned spotlight. he pushes amygdala out of the way and waits for the go-ahead.

poison ivy and the riddler look confused and disturbed, then whisper to one another for a moment. they turn back toward him.

"didnt we already escort you off the premises like, half an hour ago?" the riddler asks.

"yeah, you weren't supposed to come back," poison ivy says. "that's the point of having henchmen take you out."

they argue about this for a while until joker is thrown out again. the public vote gives him a pitiful 1%.

after that, hes a laughing stock! nobody likes him! hes just the guy who couldnt take a hint even after he was kicked out of a building! he resigns in disgrace and moves to rural ohio where he becomes a gas station attendant. and THAT is how we get rid of the joker.

[kafus]

ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

[justin-chapmanswers]

If you don't mind me asking, is there any old Inanimate Insanity video that isn't available, lost media if you will. The only thing I can think of is the audition for fan character in season 1, it was mention on episode 5.5 and the Taco Show. I wonder if there is a way to view these video again, maybe saved somewhere. I think they are important part of the history of the show, but I understand if you don't want to reupload these video.

Golly golly. I think that pre-5.5 video is the main loss in terms of things that never got saved anywhere, especially before the hacking/deletion incident. There's also no record of the Inanimate Insanity Audition video, but that was on DuncanEpic not AnimationEpic. Nothing crazy about it, but a neat little archival of all the original character designs and requested audition lines. Bonus would be if there were video responses also still embedded, I watched all of those auditions back in 2011 so many times to see if I felt I could be the frontrunner for any of the roles.

Paper also gets the short end of the stick haha. Nothing that was uploaded, but I recorded two or three things for him in that 2011-2012 window that were started and never made. There was a short written/voiced with the start of animation starring Paper that I really remember super little about. Except for like... I him having a tough day and then tumbling down a hill. He was also the main guest on The Taco Show 2 (I think it was going to start inviting each contestant on to guest after their elimination?). Also don't remember anything from that script except for the fact that Knife was introduced late as Taco's bodyguard and he had to forcibly remove Paper from the premises. Paper had a repeated string of bad luck in all of these, which by-coincidence was replicated with the gag someone added into FFF 4.

And of course can't forget the Friday (Rebecca Black) cover music video that was organized by Nate Groth and started animation. Starring Balloon, with his pals Nickel and Knife. Good times.

But yes! The recommended character video you mentioned earlier, that was a FINALIZED gem lost to time when the April-August 2011 slate was wiped from the channel. STORYTIME.

Adam was going away to camp for the Summer, and he left Nate Groth and me with channel access and each a different responsibility. Nate was to create from scratch the entire video that asks the audience to submit a recommended character for consideration to join the game. Nate and I would pick the ten concepts we liked the most, Adam would pick which of the ten joined the game. It was like a five minute video narrated by Knife explaining everything.

Meanwhile, just Adam gave me episode 5 to upload on August 1st (in a time before scheduled videos). And Nate was not having it.

Nate felt like getting to upload an actual episode as opposed to the recommended character video was a MUCH cooler job. Envious, while Adam was away at camp and in the days leading up to August 1st, Nate changed the password to the account and locked me out in protest. I had to calmly address the situation, remind him of how awesome his recommended character video is, and assure him he can do the next episode upload whenever Adam cannot do it (which would of course never come to fruition cause he was only on the team for another month or so).

Nate shared the password and the episode got out on time, but Adam was frustrated with what happened and understandably locked out everyone else from the account. Nate, of course, got back into the account via (admittedly easy) security questions a few weeks later in his next fit of rage and deleted all of the videos- ironically, erasing his own video creation for all time.

[defeateddetectives]

"have you ever considered quitting the exorcist business?" and the way the answer is different the two separate times he is asked it in rapid succession by two separate people who will forever represent two very different parts of his life and his self and try as he might to compartmentalize this he just cannot fully do so

the way the second time he's asked it there isn't the same reflexive response the way there is no response at all from someone who has never once as far as we have witnessed seemed at a loss for words about anything and the way the person who is doing the asking this time around met him saw him knew him and explicitly cared for him before he was this and only this and inevitably this

or: miharu arc (literally making me rattle the bars of my cage every single time for a different reason) crafting the finest of cracks that are barely perceptible to the human eye--so easy to miss on first or second or even third glance--in the steadfast certainty that matoba seiji is and has displayed from day one act one scene one the same certainty he stands for and that we all expect of him (in and out of universe) and that he expects of himself until his dying breath IN THIS ESSAY I WI--[is forcibly removed from the premises]

[densi-mber]

A/N: Takes place between the fight and plane scenes in “A Line in the Sand”.

***

I’d Change it All

“What you’re saying to me is that if I don’t leave my job, you are leaving me.”

“That’s not fair and that’s not what I said.”

“That’s exactly what you said to me!”

He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have waited until the case was over, when they weren’t so stressed, when Mosley wasn’t set on destroying everything in her path to get her son back.

There were so many things he should have done differently.

Deeks pulls into the driveway, turning off the ignition, and resists the urge to smash his fist through the driver’s window. After he’d been summarily escorted from NCIS premises, he’d been too shocked to do anything other than go home.

His shock has settled into regret, and anger. Anger at himself. And Kensi. He can’t believe that she thinks so little of him and didn’t give him a chance to explain himself.

If he’d only had a few more minutes before Mosley had him forcibly removed, he could have reasoned with her. Could’ve explained that he never truly meant to give Kensi an ultimatum. He could have straightened things out.

Or maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference.

He drags himself inside, needing to move, but not sure what to do. If he goes anywhere near NCIS property, he wouldn’t put it above Mosley to have him arrested.

As he walks in the living room, Deeks’ eye catches on one of their engagement pictures. He’s holding Kensi in his arms, and they’re both grinning as they stare into one another’s eyes. His breath hitches, and he feels himself begin to spiral at the reality that he may be losing all of this. He might have already lost it, and a wave of grief hits him.

With a shaking hand, he grabs his phone, and taps out a text, asking Kensi to call him. It appears underneath her last message to him, something about grabbing takeout if they got the chance. He paces around the house, straightening random items to keep his mind from completely derailing.

When half an hours passes without a response, he dials Kensi’s number. It immediately goes to voicemail, and he pinches the bridge of his noise, and he inhales shallowing. “Hey Kens, I know you don’t want to hear from me right now, but I can’t leave things like this. Not if you’re going to Mexico. Please—“ he clears his throat. “Please call me back.”

Closing his eyes, he sinks to the floor.

***

Deeks is still awake when the sun rises the next morning. Kensi hadn’t responded to his call or any of his texts. In the light of day, his anger and disbelief has settled into a sort of resignation.

Even if Kensi and he are over, there’s no way he’s letting her go to Mexico without him.

Grabbing his phone again, he calls Bates’ direct line.

“Sir, I need a favor,” he says.

At least he’ll see Kensi one more time.

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Riften 'Guard': Before I let you into Riften, you need to pay the visitor's tax.

Gaia: Hm? A tax?

Riften 'Guard': For the privilege of entering the city.

Gaia: *looking up at the stone walls of Riften* ... I hardly think Riften is worth a visitor's tax.

Riften 'Guard': Are you insulting my city, lass?

Gaia: I would never, sir. It's just that, of all the cities I have been to, which amounts to a total of four so far, I would say the only one actually worth a tax would be the likes of Whiterun.

Riften 'Guard': Sounds like an insult to me. Either way, no tax, no entry.

Inigo: How exactly did you get into Riften last time, my friend?

Kaidan: She, er.. Found another 'entry point'. Charged through Black Briar Meadery.

Riften 'Guard': You what-

Gaia: I see no issue. I was not trespassing, I visited during their opening hours.

Lucien: And got us banned.

Kaidan: The mead isn't that good anyways.

Gaia: There is no reason for Riften to enforce a tax on its visitors. I am convinced this is what humans call a 'shakedown'.

Riften 'Guard': Call it what you want. Give me the gold or leave.

Gaia: ... No, I don't think I will. Goodbye. *turns and walks away, the others following*

Taliesin: Wow. That was pathetic.

Gaia: I am not skilled in Speechcraft. I am told my voice is very monotonous, so it is hard for me to persuade people.

Kaidan: I've heard you change the pitch of your voice to convey other emotions, though.

Gaia: That is not supposed to happen.

Taliesin: Do you at least have another plan to get in? You said we have business here.

Gaia: ... How fast is your running speed?

Taliesin: ... That depends.

~

Team Dragonborn: *thrown out of Black Briar Meadery by Indaryn*

Indaryn: AND STAY OUT!

Kaidan: Well that didn't work.

Lucien: Lady Black-Briar is going to have us on her hit list at this point.

Gaia: You said you can run fast.

Taliesin: Not when I'm being chased by Riften guards in an enclosed space!

Inigo: We need another plan. I do not want to give even a rusty Septim to that arrogant gate guard. He did not even smell like a guard.

Lucien: Guards have a smell?

Gaia: Rerouting... The only way I can see forward is to give him the money. None of us passed his Speech check.

Kaidan: Still lost on what that means.

Taliesin: Oh shut up, you tried to scare the rat into submission and made him angry.

Xelzaz: *walking across the Riften docks, writing in a journal, not noticing the team sitting on the floor yet*

Kaidan: At least I didn't scream like a wee lass when a guard grabbed me.

Taliesin: I did NOT scream like a little girl, you brute!

Gaia: Your vocal pitch came very close to that of a child.

Inigo: Indeed. I thought someone had accidentally kidnapped a child.

Lucien: Do you think we could scale the walls without anyone noticing?

Gaia: No. Regular patrols are routed along the top every hour.

Inigo: Damn.

Xelzaz: *trips over Inigo's tail and falls over* Ow!

Inigo: Ouch! Hey, watch the tail!

Xelzaz: Oh dear, I am so sorry! I'm afraid I was rather lost in thought, I didn't see your... er.. *frowns, looking at everyone on the ground* You.. What are you all doing down here anyways?

Gaia: We were forcibly removed from the premises.

Xelzaz: Why?

Lucien: We tried to bypass the visitor's tax at the gates and enter through the Meadery.

Xelzaz: Ah, you must mean that rather irritable guard. Yes, I encountered him too.

Kaidan: Yeah, well, we don't want to have to give money to someone like him, so we're trying to find a different way.

Xelzaz: That seems like a horrible hassle to go through to save a few Septims.

Lucien: Ahaaa, well, to put it bluntly..

Gaia: Our combined funds are approximately 86 Septims. We would be broke if we gave him his tax.

Xelzaz: I see... Might I offer a suggestion?

Taliesin: I think at this point they would do anything but pay him. Go on.

Xelzaz: I recently brewed a fresh batch of Telvanni Bug Musk. I would be glad to offer it for your use to enter the city.

Inigo: Telvanni what-

Lucien: Telvanni??? Like House Telvanni of Morrowind??

Xelzaz: Ah yes, I suppose I neglected to introduce myself. I am Xelzaz, a Lawman of House Telvanni.

Taliesin: ?? But you are an Argonian. I didn't realize they allowed non-natives to ascend the ranks of House.

Xelzaz: It is a bit uncommon, but not unheard of. I happen to be rather competent in my selected fields of study.

Kaidan: Those being?

Xelzaz: Alchemy and magic study.

Kaidan: Ah, of course.

Gaia: Kaidan does not like magic.

Xelzaz: Hmph. Like all Nords, it seems.

Kaidan: I'm not a Nord.

Lucien: It is rather ironic, though. Taliesin and I both use magic as a primary combat resource.

Xelzaz: I'm rather partial to fire magic myself.

Kaidan: Egh, even worse.

Gaia: I believe we were talking about this 'Bug Musk'?

Xelzaz: Ah, yes. It will make you more attractive to other people. In turn, they become more agreeable and are more willing to do things for you. Such as, say, overlook a visitor's tax?

Lucien: Oh, brilliant! We'll take it!

Xelzaz: *pulls the bottle away from Lucien* Ah, forgive me, but I'm afraid this comes with a bit of a favor on my end. Call it bargaining, if you will.

Gaia: Yes, I assumed there would be a catch to this. What is it you require, then?

Xelzaz: See, I am actually on my way to High Rock to meet with a superior of mine. I could have travelled by boat, but this is my first time leaving Morrowind in quite some time, so I am looking to travel before I arrive at High Rock. Therefore, I am looking for a 'guide', of sorts. Someone who may know the land better than I.

Taliesin: All that for some bug musk?

Xelzaz: The musk is not all I would offer. As I said, I am a very competent alchemist, as well as a chef. I can cook and make potions, and I am also an avid fighter.

Kaidan: Well, it wouldn't be the first time we were hired as tour guides.

Gaia: Correct.

Lucien: Ahaa..

Taliesin: It seems like the best choice, right now.

Gaia: A new path has been revealed. Probability of Success: 92%. We accept.

Xelzaz: Excellent. Here is the Telvanni Bug Musk. *hands the bottle over to Gaia* All you have to do is apply some to your wrists and neck. The effects will last for an hour.

Gaia: Thank you, Xelzaz.

Xelzaz: My pleasure. If I may, what was it a moment ago when you spoke the probability of success? Your voice changed.

Gaia: I am a Dwemer Gynoid. Not human, or elf. A machine. My name is Gaia.

Kaidan: Oh, you've finally ditched that Greeting Protocol thing?

Gaia: I felt it caused some discourse to onlookers.

Taliesin: I think Calcelmo just about fainted when you told him you were a machine.

Xelzaz: A Dwemer Gynoid? How interesting. Your appearance is uncanny to that of the recorded appearance of Snow Elves.

Gaia: They were the model for my design, yes.

Inigo: Does this mean we can get off of the floor now?

Kaidan: Yep, up and at 'em. Time to go and get that guard to let us in this damn city.

[snarky-bee]

2, 7, 11, 29, 49 and 56 for Moxie

2. what was your original concept for this character? how did playing them change that concept?

This change actually happened before we got to table. My original concept had her very emotionally distraught, sad and angry. But as I rotated her, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to play her that way so I changed her up a bit to make it more fun for me to play her, and easier to get her on board for participating in trickery, in playfulness, and the general things that I thought would help assimilate her more into a group.

7. there’s a magic item (or technological innovation, or special resource) made just for them—what is it?

Oh for sure a voice changing/disguise voice ability that ideally comes with some sort of Tongues spell on it too. I want her full chameleon. Languages: Comprehended. Self: Disguised. Crimes: Committed. Moxie is forcibly removed from the premises.

11. if they have a pet or animal companion, how do they spend time with them? if they don’t have one, what sort of animal would they be interested in raising, if any?

Dandelion!!! (Bee sprite feywild familiar for those not in my D&D game) Picking flowers. Entertaining them with pretty flashes of coloured fire (it makes their butt do a cute wiggle of excitement). Petting their little fuzzy bee butt until they fall asleep in Moxie's cupped hands. Baby hours.

29. what feelings do they internalize?

Desire, longing, want. The mortifying ordeal of being known in exchange for a chance to actually form a close and meaningful relationship? nah

49. how often do they cut their hair, if at all?

When it starts getting caught in her armpits if she rolls over or moves wrong then its time for a chop chop.

56. who would they trust with their life, unequivocally?

Espen. The captain has proven time and time again that she can be trusted, that she will put herself ahead of others in the field, and would have the drive and bravery to act. Plus she explicitly told Moxie even just ahead of the Betrayer's Rise that she was not going to let anyone die in there and she sounds like someone who intends to follow through on that.

BONUS

on account of sending the wrong number, here is the one you requested: 45. what lies do they tell themselves?

I'll feel better after I finish this quest with the dagger.

[sporksunite]

☆ warnings + DNI list ☆

i understand that there are things people may not want to see, so here is a list of topics that may or may not be discussed through posted art and writings (mine and shared).

WARNINGS/CW LIST:

extreme violence and gore

sex and sexual acts

medicinal and recreational use of drugs

mentions of PAST rape/sexual assault/sexual harassment

excessive profanity

mentions of self-harm

written suicidal thoughts and ideology

☆ note: not all of these warnings occur in the same writings. my works are ALL works of fiction (though they may have real context/situations), meaning the content is not 100% real.

→ CWs vary per fic/artwork.

DNI LIST:

proshippers (any and all)

racists — self-explanatory

sexists — self-explanatory

homophobes and/or transphobes — most of my work includes queer topics

anyone under the age of 15 (i do not care if you are ‘about to turn 15’ — you can wait) → some works require a minimum age of 18 to view, though this will be written in the CWs for said works

pedophiles. (get out. none of my NSFW work includes minors, but you are NOT welcome here)

☆ hatespeech of any form is not tolerated or acceptable on my blog !

→ this is a safe-space for people with similar interests who are looking for fics and art. if you can’t be a decent human being, please leave before you are forcibly removed from the premises.

[heatwa-ves]

▼♦️☆(plus the filled in star too. too lazy to find it 😟) wiiith ritsu... 😊

childhood headcanon: bringing mao into this because I can't stop thinking about ritmao Ever... anyway ritsus first ever sleepover was at mao's house when they were likeee 7 idk but anyway. for mao's birthday he invited ritsu round and they baked a birthday cake together (it looked awful but they tried) and ritsu fell asleep before they could do fun sleepover stuff and then refused to leave the next day because "maa-kun's house is so nice." and really wanted to go back when rei gently but forcibly removed him from the premises and from then on they'd have sleepovers at one of their houses once a week, even more often when rei was away during war era

quirks/hobbies headcanon: he canonically likes baking a lot which is soooo cute 😋 I like to think he makes all his friends cakes for like valentine's day and halloween and stuff but like. anatomically correct heart cake with blood red icing for valentine's 💖💖 and he lovessss halloween baking he loves all the spooky cake decorations in the stores. also I'm convinced ritsu is a romance manga type of guy it's true idc and whenever mao comes round he'll dramatically re-enact scenes from the manga and mao thinks it is very cute. and then they kiss.

happy headcanon: he will sleep on people's lap if he likes and feels comfortable with them, with mao most of all but also with mika and the other members of knights, it's like having a cat sitting on you that won't allow you to move because you are their pillow now, except the cat is a vampire and an idol and a silly sleepy guy

sad headcanon: I refuse to make ritsu sad. my sad headcanon is uhhhh one time his teacher asked him a question in class and it woke him up from a lovely sleep and it was so so tragic

[where-fading-princesses-live]

let’s talk about Blake Blachert, shall we?

i must be so bored that i’ve stooped so low to watch shitty youtubers. 

Blake Blachert is a pretty shitty youtuber. 

he’s a downbeat bum with no real job who lives in his car and drives cross country to play pranks on staff working at various stores as well as their unsuspecting customers. 

supposedly people think this is entertainment. 

there is nothing remotely entertaining about a guy who’s never worked a real job in his life who feels the need to pester people working 40 hours a week and making minimum wage. like, they work hard enough without some dumbass coming to bother them at work for some youtube views. 

he’s obviously never worked customer service. it’s bad enough we retail workers have to put up with shitty customers on a daily basis without the added bullshit of a youtuber. like, we don’t get paid enough to put up with that and you wonder why half the people featured in his videos (against their will, i might add) become so disgruntled. 

he claims to spread ‘’positivity’’ in his videos but all he does is annoy people to no end to a point where people start attacking him and cussing him out because he won’t leave them alone. 

there’s nothing wrong with harmless fun and harmless pranks but he goes too far. 

it’s store policy that you can’t film inside because it’s technically private property and tho filming inside a store is not technically ‘’illegal,’’ the store has every right to decide what you can and cannot do inside their store and they reserve the right to remove you from their premises if they feel you are violating store policy. 

Blake actually did get forcibly removed from a HOME DEPOT by a police officer because a customer felt intimidated and did not want to be filmed. Blake refused to respect the wishes of the customer and continued to invade their privacy and staff called police who informed him that filming was not technically illegal but the store had the right to decide what he could do and wanted him to leave. 

he gets booted out of every store in the first 5 or 10 minutes of walking in for not even making an effort to conceal the camera, to which he always comes up with the lame punchline that, ‘’oh he [the camera man] is not filming, he’s CoMpUtInG.’’ 

Blake always underestimates the intelligence of the people he’s pranking. dude, c’mon, it’s 2022, do you think people have never seen a camera before or know what filming looks like?

they ask him nicely over and over, ‘’please stop filming’’ and he won’t. 

sometimes he’ll pretend his camera man is deaf and mute, which is also very lame.

he never fools the people he’s attempting to prank because they’re a lot smarter than he gives them credit for.

he’ll also repeat questions back at them, like once he walked into an art gallery or something and inquired if the jewelry in the gift shop was an ‘’artifact.’’

the saleslady simply replied, ‘’sir, this is jewelry, recently made. it’s modern. it’s not an artifact.’’

he goes, ‘’oh those are really cool artifacts.’’

‘‘sir, it’s jewelry, it’s not an artifact.’‘

and it’ll just go on and on like that. he thinks he’s being cute and funny when he’s just being annoying. 

the problem with videos like these is that the majority of his fanbase will be young kids and teens who don’t know any better and will use this grown ass man as a role model for how they might act in public (which is extremely immature, by the way).

other youtubers have done similar videos and so rather than spreading ‘’positivity’’ and appreciating the hard work of customer service or sales associates, videos like these end up spreading negativity. 

maybe some people won’t mind being pestered at work like this but i know i sure won’t like it. 

and if Blake ever walked into my store, i’d cut off his balls and shove them down his throat. 

[the-firebird69]

We have some news it's about here and is buffoons they're putting them out of the apartments on purpose and see them harassing everybody on Earth using it these are getting help out of here for tonight's show I'm going around evicting them and they expect trouble a lot of trouble. The apartment situation is such that they do not have a leg to stand on in other words they are causing trouble all over town they're not paying their rent they're not being nice to landlords they're not doing the right thing in the apartments and they're violating the law not to mention contracts, they're also using the apartments for illegal ventures and they're also evicted many of them and are in violation of state law and federal law and they are also harboring fugitives and they are over the limit of occupancy and using apartments in illegal manner like for businesses and for drugs thievery and murder and consuming human flesh. They're being evicted for many reasons but the big reason is they're going to be attacked tonight in the western hemisphere in a big way they simply don't want them here. They have been debugging and taking out devices constantly and they want them away from them so they don't have to redo it every few minutes so they're going to be pulling these people out and arresting them and they need our son to move around in order to do so he's more than happy to oblige because they've been such a pain in the ass for many many years and and sending a warning us but who cares and we're going to do stuff to them as well as others are doing we're going to make them pay for their atrocious treatment and they're constant attempts on our people's lives. But they're evicting them today and there are tons of them in this neighborhood who are out and the paperwork is coming today and there's no notice it says You must vacate the premises upon receipt of this notice we're seeing this notice immediately. And it goes on to say if you fail to vacate this premises you'll be removed forcibly within minutes of you seeing the notice. There's other legal jargon it says you don't have to see it it's posted. Now here's the time for you to try and leave if you don't you'll be arrested possibly incinerated morlok

Thor Freya

We see it coming and we hear you warning they're telling you that he has to move out he's saying the f*** off and we sort of get that he says we're stupid doesn't care for it if I have something to meaning to say then I should say it and that was him the last couple sentences were huge assholes to everybody no wonder we're getting kicked out on purpose and we can't stop we can't stop them and Tommy f is doing it too so we should go to our homeland and stay there and do our own thing

Woody harrelson

I've been saying that but who cares right really I guess this point we should probably leave and says probably inside of that or your extinct but you probably won't and he says that last sentence is probably true we're going to lose all our stuff is it going to start raining momentarily because of our big mouth what's really true is we're saying tons of stuff about the inventor here and doesn't care for us cuz we're just blabbing and doing nothing right and this is going to be a perfect example of that I'm afraid it might be the last example and we didn't do a good job at anything but who would expect it and we did in our people who are helping us and we're smart and these guys don't like us because of it no kidding but we can't stop doing it

Trump

What's this we should okay I'm in it too the boy we have a bunch of assholes last night is proof it was so stupid I'm getting all my people together and getting out of here and he's laughing saying that you're too stupid to have Intel and I kind of get what he's saying a little and it doesn't respect us and if I don't move out then he's going to be laughing and mocking at a slower completely diminished on the islands kind of makes sense and that was him the last two sentences and we probably won't and we get devastated and I tell you what it is kind of disgustingly stupid

Bja

I don't have to tell you boys this but usually have a preamble when you try and do something to me or him or both we're all getting ready and we're going to knock you out we'll probably should just kill you cuz you're so annoying and if you escape stay out I'm going to write up the order today to keep you out I can't believe that you're so dumb that you would say that stupid line he's in trouble and all this s*** but he says it was a way to get rid of them and it worked I believe him too I remember he was doing that. Point is it's so damn rude that nobody can stand it and you're doing it to him anyways

Mac

[blackburneproperty]

Bad Tenants and How to Avoid Them

An investment property or portfolio sounds like a dream to most people, an asset that appreciates in value whilst being paid off by someone else. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But what happens when you have bad tenants that compromise the value of that asset and your peace of mind?

As a landlord you have some security in the form of a deposit but there have been many cases where the damage caused by a tenant has far exceeded the deposit amount. Not only can the cost of repairs be significant but, if they take a long time to rectify, the loss of rent can also be substantial.

Furthermore, every time there’s a turnover in tenancy, there is also the marketing cost required to secure new tenants. However, the worst impact of all is possibly the time and stress it can cause to you, the landlord. So how do you avoid the mental, emotional, and financial stress of bad tenants? We have outlined what to do if it does happen and what you can do to avoid it in the first place.

Common Problems

There are serious breaches such as; non-payment of rent, major damage to the premises and illegal use of the property, all of which are straightforward to remedy with a sequence of notices and court if they do not vacate.

Breaches that are considered non-serious are a little more complicated to resolve as it’s not always possible to pursue these through the courts. These include; not keeping the property clean or taking care of the garden, housing an unauthorised pet, sub-letting the property, causing a nuisance to the neighbours, breaching strata bylaws, or not paying for water consumption.

What action you can take

For serious breaches such as not paying rent, the options are to issue either a breach notice which gives the tenant 14 days to rectify the issue (such as paying all their rent arrears) or simply issuing a 7-day termination notice to evict them if they are repeat offenders and you would rather they leave. If the tenant fails to adhere to the notice and vacate your property, you’ll need to obtain an order from the Magistrate’s Court. The tenant will be given a set period of time in which to vacate, but if they refuse to move out, law enforcement can forcibly remove them with a property seizure order. This is the last resort and, the most stressful, time consuming and costly if it gets to this stage. For non-serious breaches, communication is key as court is not always a solution and, in many cases, a friendly and frank discussion will help clear up the issue. Issuing a breach notice to let them know that they have contravened their tenancy agreement, how long they have to rectify the infringement, and that termination of the tenancy will result if they do not address the issue, is possibly all it will take to resolve a non-serious breach. A good property manager will be able to handle this aspect with minimal fuss. If any problem hasn’t been rectified when the stated period ends, and you decide you’d rather evict the tenant, it is then possible to issue a notice of termination.

The issue with relying on Landlord’s insurance

Whilst landlord’s insurance is essential for any property investor, it’s not sufficient to eliminate all the cost and hassle of remedying the consequences of bad tenants. It is not only time consuming to make a claim, the insurance may not cover the issue in its entirety such as loss of rent, there will be an excess to pay and it’s also very likely your premium will increase. It’s much better to take steps to prevent an issue or remedy it immediately, than rely on landlord’s insurance to resolve it.

Prevention really is better than a cure

A preventative measure you may like to consider is regular structural inspections. Sometimes tenants are not necessarily bad, they can just be negligent in alerting a landlord or property manager to an issue which gets worse and causes more damage the longer it goes unresolved. Instructing a Surveyor or Building Inspector to check gutters, roof, loft space, grout and other areas that are not included within a standard property inspection, may save thousands if issues are identified and remedied immediately. A property manager will be able to make recommendations on reliable experts who can conduct these types of checks.

Why a property manager is essential in protecting your asset

Comprehensive Screening The most important tool in ensuring you don’t end up with a bad tenant in the first place is tenant screening. A property manager will be extremely thorough in conducting checks such as references and credit ratings. They will cross check tenancy databases, commonly known as bad tenant registers, to identify if an applicant is listed.

Attracting great tenants Prior to screening, a good property manager will implement marketing at the right level to attract the best tenants. They will also advise you on changes you should make to your property so it stands a chance of appealing to the best tenants, how your property is presented will also impact on how the tenants treat it. For some free, top line advice on attracting the best tenants check out our Advice

Watertight Lease Agreements Once great tenants have been secured through the right marketing and careful screening, a property manager will ensure the lease is watertight. A well written agreement will lay out all the necessary terms and conditions correctly so it is clear what each party’s responsibilities are and to ensure the landlord will have the legal high ground should any problems arise.

Management of the property The property manager will perform a detailed move-in inspection and carefully document the condition of the property. They will also conduct thorough inspections at regular intervals to ensure any problems are identified as quickly as possible. Communicating regularly with tenants is also part of their job and by developing a good relationship, they can stay on top of any problems.

Handling serious matters Despite all the mitigation activity detailed above, serious issues will arise from time-to-time and having someone with the experience to ensure notices are issued correctly and in a timely manner is going to save a lot of time and money. They can issue breach notices, a notice of termination, and if the tenant refuses to leave they can apply to the Court on your behalf. One wrong date or missing signature could result in starting the entire process again so it will serve you well to leave in the hands of an expert.

Questions to ask the Property Manager

The following questions are a good way to gauge a Property Manager’s level of experience in dealing with bad tenants: • During the screening process, which factors do you check? • What marketing tactics do you employ to attract the best tenants? • How comprehensive is your move-in inspection report? • How often and how thorough are your rental inspections? • How much experience have you had in overcoming issues with a bad tenant? • Have you been successful in rectifying issues without needing to evict? • If you’ve had to evict a tenant, how long did it take? • What is the worst situation you’ve experienced with a tenant and how did you handle it?

At Blackburne, we understand the importance of maintaining the value of your asset, and your peace of mind. We have the experience and capability to minimise the risk of a bad tenant. They are few and far between but unfortunately it does happen, so when it does you want an experienced team to efficiently deal with it as quickly and painlessly as possible. If you require any help, the team at Blackburne are happy to offer free advice, please call us at your convenience to chat it through.

The post Bad Tenants and How to Avoid Them appeared first on Blackburne Property Management.

[roshini]

10 deep cleaning tips to ensure a sparkling home/office space

Since the onset of the pandemic, most of us have been compelled to work at home with no other choice and in the process have gotten to the extent of forcibly turning a portion of our homes into usable home offices.

Nirvahana is an efficient facility management and operations company that is a responsive and consistent maintenance organisation.  Our dedicated and committed services ensure all systems are functioning to their peak potential, bringing about top organisational performance.  The bottom line is to get our services at an affordable price within your budget.

Deep Cleaning as the name suggests is much more than just thorough service and standard cleaning.  It involves cleaning every nook and corner of your premises be it your home or your office and getting rid of dust, dirt, grime, soap scum, and other gunk around your premises.

Nirvahana Deep Cleaning Services makes use of the following tips to ensure a sparkling home/office space.

Nirvahana provides Deep Cleaning Services to Residential properties, Commercial properties, Warehouses, and Industries.  Our Residential deep cleaning services, Bangalore, include deep cleaning for newly constructed, New Interiors, Vacant Building Move-in, Vacant Building Move-out, and Existing houses.  Commercial Deep Cleaning Services include Newly Constructed properties and New Interiors.

Nirvahana Deep Cleaning Services for Residential properties or home cleaning services focus on dusting the house and removal of cobwebs from the entire house.

When it comes to home cleaning services for kitchen and dining areas, we clean the kitchen slab, hob, chimney, sink, and floor.  Also, the kitchen cabinets and cupboards where you normally store utensils of daily use and crockery and other items that are used occasionally. Deep cleaning is done both from the inside and outside by removing utensils and replacing them once the area is cleaned.

The bathroom is one place in the house that needs complete hygiene and cleanliness as the area is in constant use and is mostly damp; hence, being more prone to bacteria, viruses, and other microorganisms.  Nirvahana’s bathroom deep cleaning involves cleaning wall tiles, floors, taps, and other fixtures, wash basin, and WC, along with floor stain removal.

When it comes to the living room, it is important to get rid of the ticks and mites from the softa, carpets, chairs, tables, dining area, etc.  If you are worried that this is going to take a good amount of your time, then stay relaxed as Nirvahana does it all for you.  In addition, we also take up cleaning of show-case, chandeliers, fans, windows, doors, cupboards and wardrobes, shelves, storage items, switches, and floors.

Balcony and utility areas deep cleaning includes floor water wash, dusting, cobweb removal, grill cleaning, etc.

Other tips to ensure a sparkling home/office space include:

Declutter

Remember to declutter before deep cleaning as clearing clutter makes deep cleaning services easy.

Start High, Go Low.

You could ease your task when you tackle and get done with cleaning hard-to-reach surfaces such as the ceiling, ceiling trim, ceiling light fixtures including bulbs, tube lights, chandeliers, walls, and wall hangings, the rest of the trim, and baseboards.

Deep Clean Windows

Remove dust from surfaces.  Wipe clean the rest of the hard surfaces such as wood, furniture, shelves, built-ins, etc.

Deep Clean the Floors

To do this in the right manner, move the furniture aside, even larger ones like beds and sofas.  To ease your cleaning task, place the furniture slides below the heavier pieces and clean that area first.

Nirvahana deep cleaning services use the most appropriate solutions that make the place look spick and span without leaving behind any stains after cleaning. Nirvahana staff is well-trained and experienced to handle the relevant equipment for work; thus, ensuring excellent results and giving value for your money.  If you are looking for deep cleaning services, facility management services, house cleaning services, etc, Nirvahana is your one-stop solution.

[dumpster-dive-reading]

A weird overview of the "Human Domestication Guide" shared universe

I was browsing AO3 the other day looking for fics centered around hypnosis, I kept finding stories with cool looking prompts and a shared fandom: Human Domestication Guide/ Original Work

The premise for a lot of them was really promising: a bunch of aliens using mind control on humans to make them their pets? So, I checked it out.

In two days, I've spent probably 14 hours reading HDG fics. I have work to do, I can't be doing this! If only those plant aliens could give me some ADHD medication, amiright?

I think that the premise and where authors choose to write with it is kind of an interesting dynamic. What sounds like a great concept for a psychological horror/ thriller is a community that writes a lot of fluff. I love it.

I think a lot of the concepts for HDG are used for wish fulfillment. The main character is trans, and is suddenly given access to gender affirming healthcare and compassion. The main character is sick, and is suddenly cared for without compromising themselves (more on this later). The main character is lonely, and suddenly their thrust into a very loving and compassionate environment.

That's where I think a lot of the appeal is for HDG. Above everything else, the hot plant people just want to love you, and care for you, and help you become your best self. It touches a craving within all of us- the desire to be loved.

But after reading a fair amount of HDG fics, there's one question that keeps nagging at me: Would you really want to be a floret to an Affini?

The thing about the affini is that they don't see sophants as their equals. They keep other species as pets. They use drugs to bend a person's mind to their will, sometimes without the person's consent. Are you okay with that? Are you okay with the consequences associated with it?

Becoming a floret to an Affini means that you're bound to them. It ties you to their presence, to the extent that it is incredibly difficult to live without them. In "A Danger to Oneself and Others" we get a really good look at what a floret is without their Affini. It's not a pretty picture. After being forcibly taken from the plant people, the florets are shattered. They huddle together in a group and cry, incredibly depressed, in a state of confusion and chaos. Even the ex-military Clara ends up breaking down a few times, and is only able to save them out of a desire to protect the other florets and get them home. "Stages of Succession" describes a stubborn general being domesticated almost exclusively through their implant. The human finds that they need to spend a certain amount of time with their Affini every single day- going from one hour to two in the early parts of the fic. They end up looking into the Affini's eyes, and end up in a hypnotic trance. After that, they end up craving looking into the Affini's eyes again. Despite their hatred for the Affini, the human ends up craving her touch, to the point that it becomes painful to be away for too long.

On top of that, the person will often end up very dependent on their Affini. As in "they take care of every one of my needs" levels of dependent.

That's a powerful general, and an Affini that isn't using their xenodrugs.

Plus, there's the mental manipulation that Affini can do. They can block out certain thoughts, and put ones into a person's brain. It's used in Wellness Check to prevent the main character from self depricating. They can create, edit, remove, and restore memories. In Wellness Check, the main character loses their memory of becoming a floret.

That's one of the most terrifying concepts in HDG: the idea of being controlled without being aware that you're being controlled.

There's another short called "sleepy bitch" where the character has narcolepsy and just really wants to sleep all the time. They end up turning into a cat, much to the shock of their friend. It's clear that they like being a cat, but still. Their friend also becomes a cat, and the Affini ends up tying their minds together, making the narcolepsy spread to her friend.

...but at the same time...

It's clear that the humans in HDG are better off after the Affini invade. The terran world is objectively kind of terrible: it's like super-ultra-mega-death-capitalism. Fighting for the Terran defense sounds objectively terrible. "Lost in Eden" describes the conditions on a good terran warship: it's falling apart, cramped, bad food, full of transphobes and toxic masculinity, oh yeah and the entire ship explodes because it's in disrepair.

It isn't the only mind control we see either. "Black Start" describes Terran war conditions, where the solider has little to no memories and has been hypnotised. They then end up being influenced by another alien tech, which takes over their mind and conditions them into becoming a robot. Even after the human is rescued by the Affini, the robot is still there. They say they don't mind, that life is better this way.

It's still kind of terrifying.

To lose all of your indiduality and be sworn into a obedience and subservience to your master. To have someone control your thoughts, to the extent that if you ever have a thought they don't agree with they make you unaware you'd ever thought it. To be formed into a pet, sometimes striped of your ability to do anything at all.

But you're loved. Isn't that worth it?