#also I don’t want conflict with someone close to me rn

[dark-eyes-under-the-golden-sky]

Fighting the urge to be petty right now

[tarotbiscuits]

𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔞 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔡: 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔰

(this is for my female audience interested in men)

˜”°•.˜”°• Who are they?

What do they have to say to you?

What are their intentions towards you? •°”˜.•°”

We'll see what their energy (and the cards) say

Try to meditate on the piles beforehand and choose the one which calls you the most. If you don't feel drawn to any of them, close your eyes, take a deep breath and open your eyes. The pile you notice first is your pile!! If you feel drawn to two piles, i'd suggest choosing the one you're most drawn to, as the messages tend to be similar in nature.

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 1 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 2

𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 3 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 4

PILE 1

Signs this might be for you:

444 is significant to you

you have a flowy red dress that you love wearing and it looks great on you (i see you turning around happily in that dress)

Who is your fs?

the hermit, temperance, page of cups rx, page of wands rx, five of swords, king of cups

Greetings, pile 1! For starters, i see that your fs is someone that you’ve already been in a romantic connection with. Your fs is someone who is more introverted or a loner at heart. He usually takes a lot of time for himself to balance his emotions out in his day-to-day life. He can be rather emotionally immature at times, not admitting his feelings for his love interests due to poor communication skills. I feel like he’s not the type to take risks. He wishes to be like everyone else, instead of standing out from the crowd. Your fs is a guy who doesn’t engage in conflicts much. Whenever he gets into conflict with someone, he tends to leave the situation to meditate upon it instead of lashing out. What I see coming for him is the fact that soon enough, he’ll be in his king of cups energy, because he took the time to get to know himself and seek answers to his problems. He’ll become an emotionally mature man, who can be honest about his feelings and support you emotionally when you need him.

His message for you

tower rx, four of cups, justice rx

“I’m sorry (i felt a lump in my throat right after that). Justice wasn’t done in our connection and it’s all my fault. I did you wrong big time and I don’t expect you to even forgive me, let alone take me back. I was a fool in the past when I denied your offer. I pursued other options over you (i don’t feel like this is a third party situation, just casual dating). Now I realized that having a lot of options won’t bring me emotional fulfillment and happiness if they’re not you. Our break-up was a traumatic experience for me and I did everything I could to numb my feelings and forget about you.”

His intentions towards you

death rx, ten of swords rx

Dear pile 1, I’m sorry to break it to you, but for now, your fs wants to heal from the connection. He feels like there are some demons from your past connection that still follow him and he wants to stop them from inflicting more pain on him. He wants to let go of the past and move on with his life. Considering he’s going to be your fs, the story isn’t probably over yet, i think?. Knight of cups rx is at the bottom of the deck, he feels like he can’t make a love offer rn. Under this there’s the queen of cups, omg he sees you as his soulmate. He deff still loves you, but is too heartbroken over the past. Give him time, pile 1. It’s just not the right time for the two of you to be together now.

Extra:

likes reading a lot

also likes ducks (and other feathered animals)

zodiac placements: virgo sun, water signs (cancer, scorpio, pisces) in big 6

PILE 2

Signs this might be for you:

33 is relevant to you

you have sneezed recently or you sneeze a lot

Who is your fs?

three of pentacles rx, three of wands, king of swords rx, seven of wands, ace of wands horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards), eight of swords, the world (bottom of the deck)

Hello pile 2, hope you’re having a great day! Your fs is someone who’s independent – he prefers to work alone than in groups or in collaboration with another person. He’s likely an adventurous type who travels a lot for work, but also in his free time. When he travels for fun, he likes to explore the natural wonders of our planet: hiking in the woods, tasting the freshness of the water streams around him. On the downside, he can be rather arrogant with his words, feeling like he’s above others intellectually or that people aren’t as honest and truthful like him. He can get a lot of backlash because of this, which makes him feel like he needs to defend for himself most of the time. I see that your fs wants to pursue a new creative endeavor, likely stemming from one of his passions, but he’s afraid. He is advised to take a leap of faith and do it anyway. He won’t know what’s in store for him unless he tries.

You two will probably be in a long distance relationship for a while. He’ll deff open you up to new experiences, getting you out of your comfort zone. Since he’s well travelled, count on him when you two are booking a holiday destination – he tends to know the coolest spots for taking pictures :)

His message for you

sun horizontal, page of pentacles horizontal, three of swords rx, king of cups, four of cups, five of pentacles rx

“Hey baby, it’s okay. The sun isn’t shining today, but that doesn’t mean it won’t shine tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day. I know you’re afraid to take a new beginning, you’ve been hurt so bad by love and all I want to do is take away your pain. I promise you, I’ll take away your pain one day, okay? Just don’t close yourself off to new possibilities, heck even in love. Don’t wait for me. Live your life, explore other options. See what you like and what you don’t. Just remember, you’re never alone. There are people who will love you for who you truly are, your family loves you (i sense that you might have had a difficult upbringing, a dysfunctional family, especially an absent mother, but your fs doesn’t know that yet). I will. You’re never alone, remember that.”

His intentions towards you

the high priestess rx, wheel of fortune rx, the star, nine of pentacles

Pile 2, your fs is closing himself off from your connection in the higher realm for now. Like pile 1, he feels like now is not the right time for you two to be together – your connection is divinely guided by the Universe and his higher self is guiding him towards some hardships in his personal life to learn valuable lessons, which are needed for your connection. He’s hopeful that you exist and he knows that you will be reunited at some point, but for now, he’s happily single and he wants to focus on maintaining his independence.

Extra:

rice is very significant (either his origins are from Asia or he strongly loves/hates rice)

zodiac placements: strong sagittarius, especially sagittarius sun/venus, gemini sun (it might be aspected with pluto, i see mostly conjuncting pluto or squaring/opposing pluto), gemini mercury, leo in big 6 (mostly ascendant and mars)

PILE 3

Signs this might be for you:

you have blue eyes (sorry guys, i can’t get any more signs for this one; he’s also telling me that you’ve eaten something specific recently but i can’t see what; i'm hearing mozarella sticks? lmk if it resonates, i'm not sure on this one)

Who is your fs?

five of pentacles rx, the tower rx, the emperor rx, temperance, page of cups rx, eight of wands, the star (bottom of the deck)

Woahh, pile 3. When i was shuffling the cards for this question, a lot of them fell down. Your fs has a lot to tell you about himself!! I think he has been often told to shut up by others. That’s what made him keep to himself a lot, but with you, he wants to tell you everything. Hahaha, now he's got a much calmer energy. Pile 3, your fs is the type of person that has outbursts of anger and he lashes out everything, but after that he’s like a lamb lmao. I see that your fs has been through some deep, dark shit in his past, likely involving his parents. Either his parents divorced at some point and it affected him deeply or his father abandoned him at a very young age. This broke down his world at the time, but i see that he has healed from it. He wished he had a happy childhood, but he just wants peace now and he got it. I felt his energy for a moment where he kept saying “I just want the fights to be over already” and then he kept repeating “over” again and again in a very demanding tone. I’d say his unhappy childhood still haunts him at times (i got death rx on the bottom of the deck when i clarified the first 3 cards), but he does believe in true love. He’s someone who tends to keep his feelings in check and his life in moderation. He can act immature at times, but i feel like he does feel sorry for his actions and tries his best to become a better person.

His message for you

six of swords, nine of pentacles, the well rx (i'm using ethereal visions by matt hughes it's my only deck ;-;), knight of swords

“Be strong. You have walked away from so many storms, that you’ve become this beautiful butterfly on your own. And if you haven’t walked away from those toxic people – do it NOW. I’ve walked away from my parents and friends, was it easy? No, but I’m much better now. You gotta be who you truly are as a person, you’re so fricking valuable. You need to be upfront and direct with people. I’ll teach you if you can’t. Why have you blocked your creative juices? Was it because of pain? Don’t let past hurts hinder your light. You are this beautiful goddess that is above EVERYONE else (i can really feel this feminine energy coming from you). I’ll worship the ground you walk on. Just don’t let them win.”

Pile 3, i feel like some of you are healing from a break-up, but you are already almost fully healed. You’re glowing and your fs adores that.

His intentions towards you

six of cups rx, page of swords rx, king of wands rx, wheel of fortune horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards)

For some of you, i feel like you already know them. Your fs might have been a childhood friend, a neighbor or a classmate that you used to hang around with when you were kids, just doing fun stuff. I don’t think he was in your life for a long time, you probably lost contact for some reason. I also don’t think you two were romantically involved, but if you did, it was more of an innocent fling.

For others of you, this is someone completely new and the six of cups rx might just point out to his unhappy childhood. He’s been pondering on it lately and feels very sad, maybe even depressed.

Either way, I feel like he’s going to enter your life really soon, but it won’t be at the right time. He’s not someone that is guided by a higher force, his intuition is quite blocked and he tends to act on his impulsive feelings without thinking of the consequences too much.

If you already know him, he might tell you about some harsh truth. Either point out to something you do which isn’t right, so he’s gonna call you out on that or he’ll say something regarding the times when you hung out as kids, which didn’t sit right with him.

If you don’t know him, he’s probably going to show off to you in a very “look at me, I’m better than the other guys” kinda way.

Whether you already know him or you will in the near future, i do feel like he has romantic feelings for you and he feels like he has got a chance to be with you, but like i said, the universe is saying that right now is not the right time for your union. It’s very likely that he’s still in school/college and is very focused on it. He doesn’t know if he should choose to pursue you or his career rn. This last bunch of cards just flew so this has been heavily on his mind. I’d say don’t engage too much with him, this is only the beginning of your love story. It will solve itself out when the timing is right.

Extra:

bichons/havanese dogs might be significant to your or them

zodiac placements: heavy aries and leo energy (i wouldn’t be surprised if most of his birth chart is filled with fire placements), libra sun or an afflicted sun (with lots of squares and oppositions)  

PILE 4

Signs this might be for you:

you had a very hard time picking a pile (yeah, i literally didn’t know if i should make this pile or not)

your fav color is purple

Who is your fs?

three of swords horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards), the emperor horizontal, three of cups rx, nine of wands rx, knight of wands, six of wands

Pile 4!!! Spirit was telling me to do this reading asap because it’s urgent (and then i got a call lmao). Your fs is likely a very busy guy, getting calls all the time. Damn, I just saw him in a suit. He’s someone influential in his career for sure, probably works in business. Even the cards hardly came out, like he didn’t want to talk because he’s too busy atm. I see that for your fs, career is everything. He is used to declining invitations to social events and parties because he would rather spend his time and attention on making money. He’s very VERY successful in what he does, i see massive recognition here, because he seizes every opportunity to advance in his career and he goes for them!! Sadly, he wasn’t always like this. At times he felt like the competition was too much and that he won’t succed, but in the end he gave his all, despite his feelings. He is advised not to become too bossy with the people around him, even though i feel like he isn’t like that anyway. I also believe that his overfixation on his career comes from a past break-up that he hasn’t processed fully. He is advised to process it and move on, instead of trying to simply forget it by doing something else.

His message for you

The chariot rx, queen of cups, page of pentacles clarified by two of swords, eight of cups clarified by seven of cups, five of pentacles rx clarified by the hermit, five of swords rx clarified by the king of wands

This is more about his ex and what happened to him, I feel like he really needs to vent so be gentle with him pile 4

“I wasn’t ready for her. I wasn’t ready for our relationship, but my feelings for her were so much, I just couldn’t hold them inside of me anymore. At that time I believed this was a new beginning for us, one that we would both (and i emphasize both) build for, something which would have lasted for a long time (i’m hearing everlasting). I felt like something was off from the beginning, but I thought it was only my imagination playing tricks. I wanted to take it slow because I wasn’t sure…oh boy, was I wrong. I had to leave when I found out that she was cheating on me this whole time. I poured my heart to her and she cheated…I don’t want to remember what happened after. It took me a long time to get over it, get over her (i’m hearing sleepless nights). I felt so alone and abandoned, I didn’t want to talk with anyone, I drank myself to sleep. But this experience made me into who I am today. I know I’m strong. I weathered storms no one would have imagined and I came out victorious. But I’m never leaving my heart to anyone else.

I don’t know if you exist…I’m feeling strong now, but what if it’s just a façade? Do you even exist? (death is on the bottom of the deck , under the death card is the queen of wands rx, he really doesn’t feel like you exist). I feel like the world is filled with harsh people, people that only want to benefit from others and I’m not letting others exploit me anymore.”

Pile 4, i honestly feel like he has so much love to give to others, even to you, but i’m not sure if he sees that. He will make a great partner, i can feel this already. Please show him that you will be there for him and that your feelings are genuine. He needs it.

His intentions towards you

four of pentacles, page of wands, ace of cups, seven of swords

Well, he’s deff focusing on his finances rn for sure. I see that there will be a passionate, new beginning in your connection. I don’t think you two have met, i feel like this is a fresh energy. I heard that you will have to make the first step tho. He will open up to you quite fast after that, but he will also feel a bit wary in the beginning. He doesn’t want the past to repeat itself. I see him trying to peek into your phone when you’re texting someone, just to make sure you’re not cheating on him or anything. He does have the tendency to become paranoid, which can get out of hand if not addressed. My advice to you is to have open communication at all cost. I see a lot of love between the two of you. Don’t let it go to waste.

Extra:

zodiac placements: capricorn in big 3, sun/ascendant conjunct saturn, strong sagittarius and leo in big 6, mars in aries or sagittarius, scorpio energy in big 6 or pluto is significant

[rowiewritesstuff]

Yandere Adam X Seer/Psychic Reader

I will more than likely edit this bc I'm supppper tired rn while writing this. Also oops super long

MIGHT Make a Demon or Angel version bc uhhh yes?

Thisss will obvs have a little misogyny in it. It’s Adam. Also this has SPOILERS so don’t read if you haven’t finished the show pookies QwQ

This also has some semi-offensive words so as always, if you can't handle it don't read it.

Yandere Adam X Seer/Psychic GN Reader

You were a friend of Charlie and Vaggie’s. You don’t know how exactly you got to hell as a human, but the two women were more than happy to take you in. They protected you from a lot. You’re incredibly sweet, friendly, and shy so you were an easy target for the residents of hell. 

When Charlie and Vaggie decided to go to heaven to make an appeal to the court you went along. You thought maybe the Seraphim could help you out and get you home to your universe. 

For your privacy, you wore a hood to hide your humanity. Everyone believed you were a demon.

When Emily was showing the three of you around Heaven you accidentally bumped into Adam. The others didn’t notice you left behind. You saw a flash of visions- Exterminators were destroying sinners left and right, and Adam was above them all, laughing. Then you saw something else- Adam’s death. He was beaten by Lucifer and then finished off by Nifty, a small resident of the Hazbin Hotel. 

You fell to your knees to take a breath after seeing such a vivid vision. You didn’t notice Lute’s confused face or Adam’s confused anger. Adam couldn’t comprehend what he saw for a moment, but the pieces slowly clicked- he was dying. What was this? Was this a stupid demon trick to throw him off of his plans?

Adam grabbed you by your arm, bringing you right next to his face. “The fuck was that?”

You were frozen- what did he mean?

“I’m fucking talking to you, bitch!” Adam snarled. He threw you against the wall, and Lute was horrified at the stares they were getting. She quickly whispered something you couldn’t hear to Adam. Adam looked around and growled in irritation before looking at you. “I’m not finished with you.” Adam and Lute then flew off.

“There you are!” Charlie grabbed your arm. “Isn’t this place just great?” She paused as she saw the tears in your eyes. You hadn’t even realized you started crying. “What’s wrong?”

“N…nothing, Charlie. I’m okay.” You smiled. “Just overwhelmed by Heaven.” You weren’t sure why you had lied. You were normally so honest all the time.

Hours passed and you were in your temporary room the Angels gave you. It was down the hall from where Charlie and Vaggie were staying. 

You were reading when you heard someone barge in. You whipped around to see Adam with a cool glare on his face. Lute was standing behind him. She clearly didn’t understand what was happening, but she was loyal to Adam. Whatever he did, she’d support it.

“What do you want?” Your words trembled as you spoke them. You stood from the bed quickly. 

Adam stalked over to you and got so close to you that his breath hit your face. “I want to know what the fuck you did to me.” 

“I…what are you talking about?”

Adam punched the wall next to your head. A hole was left in the wall. “Don’t fuck with me! I could kill your pathetic demon ass!” He was getting more angry and it showed. He hated that he couldn’t see your face under your hood. 

“I told you, I don’t know!” A small sniffle came from you. Adam growled and ripped your hood down. He and Lute were shocked. A human? In Heaven?

“The fuck? What kind of bullshit are you pulling?” He pulled on your cheeks to see if it was a disguise. Eventually, after about thirty seconds of pinching and pulling on your skin he realized you WERE a human. Adam was conflicted- he hated sinners, yes, but not necessarily humans. “Why the fuck were you in hell in the first place?”

“I-I don’t know.” You fought the tears building. “I..there was a portal thing. It sucked me in and I landed in Charlie’s hotel.” 

Adam frowned. He, in his long time being an Angel, had never heard of something like this happening. “Look, just tell me what you did to me.” Adam insisted.

“I…I really don’t understand what you mean.” 

“When you bumped into me earlier - fuck you by the way- I saw myself. I was… dying. To a fucking demon.” 

You paused. He couldn’t have seen it…could he? Maybe it was because he was an Angel… you didn’t understand. “I think… you saw my vision.”

“Your what?” Lute chimed in, irritated she didn’t understand anything. 

Charlie told you to keep it a secret…but they were angels. You could trust them, right? They couldn’t be bad. So you naively explained everything- when you touch someone or something, you can (not always) get visions of important things that happened with it. While you explained Adam had to hide his shit eating grin threatening to grow on his face. 

You were perfect- you could help him destroy those demon bastards permanently. Now…he just had to find a way to keep you here.

Adam pretended to be your friend. He told you about how nice it is in Heaven. It was much safer up here than in Hell. “You’d fit right in, doll- you’re super cute.” He teased you. You had no clue that he was manipulating you. You normally didn’t get compliments like that so it made your cheeks flush a deep color. 

Later on during the trial Adam had one of his Exterminators keep you busy. That didn’t work forever though, and eventually you got to the court. Adam and Lute were saying cruel things about Angel Dust, Charlie, and Vaggie. You watched, unsure of what to do. Adam hadn’t noticed you when he pushed your friends back into hell. You ran to the portal to join them when Lute stopped you. Her Exterminator mask had a cruel grin on it. 

“What is the meaning of this, Adam?” Sera asked. She was more curious than angry. 

“This one here… is a human.” Adam ripped off your hood. A collective of shocked gasps rang out through the room. Everyone wondered how you got to heaven. “They came up from Hell with those demon bitches. We can’t just let her go back to hell- she doesn’t belong there.” Adam grinned viciously. 

“What? You can’t decide that for me!” You try to get out of Lute’s hold. Emily went to defend you but Sera interjected first. 

“We cannot make them stay here if they want to go, Adam.” The other Angels in the chamber muttered in various degrees of opinions.

“They’ll get fucking stabbed down there or some shit. Humans don’t belong in hell, and this human is probably so confused for the mix up it’ll go batshit if we don’t help them out. It’s the right thing to do.” Adam grinned. You could almost see the slime coming from his words. 

“Look, just send me back to my friends!” You struggled frantically. You did seem confused and upset to the other Angels, so they were inclined to agree with Adam. 

After Adam so graciously offered to look after you, Sera hesitantly agreed. After all, Adam was the first human- he would know what one needs. 

You were locked away in Adam’s penthouse, constantly guarded by at least one Exterminator. 

Adam forced you to give him information in exchange for your friend’s lives. If you disobeyed, well, he could send an Exterminator early to kill one of your little hotel friends.

“Now,  be a good little human and tell me all about this Carmilla whore. Otherwise, I’m thinking that crackwhore would be a good first kill this year.”

You gave him everything he wanted to know, having no clue that the hotel and all of your friends were already long dead. You’d helped Adam evade death, and he wouldn’t waste it.

[girlreblogger]

also to add to my previous post, when i say blk yn go through crazy situations im exaggerating but i mean (“cause me personally!!!!!!!!!!!”) allowing the character to be treated in certain manner and be put in “awkward” positions. i also want to say that the “situations” seem unfulfilling like i wanted to say in the first place.

because of the unsavory situations she is put in she legit has to have characteristics that are straight up unnecessary if the wellbeing of her character was prevalent. and i have to say that because of blk yn stories that it applies to. (and no ian talking abt how ppl be complaining abt yn being “ghetto” 😒)

drama, comfort, or for fun, is cool and dandy but it’s the same type of thing and i’m not tryna come for the plug stories like don’t nbgaf like omg i’m so tired of hearing bout them freaking stories.

to the ppl who still decide to ignore how damaging fr CERTAIN! blk yn fics y’all remind me of the ppl who support tyler perry movies simply because it’s for entertainment and “he’s telling a story” (that not everyone has)

yep. those things are true but an impact worse than good is being produced. like bffr.

and i feel conflicted by even saying that because some ppl obviously genuinely relate or find comfort in those stories but at what cost. like is comfort worth change and progression?

me rn:

some ppl just really don’t gaf and don’t care to want better. please don’t let the ppl who don’t gaf sway you. for the ppl who do, reblog nice fics or write. blow them up so other blk girls can find them. we deserve it.

there are so many blk fics where yn is not going through those things and if there is “drama” is solved or there’s a healthy resolve. (there’s so many blk writers who need to be publishing books fuck tumblr or ao3 and tryna get reblogs. with all that talent girl MAKE SOME MONEYYYY! YALL STUFF BE GOOD.)

i’m dead serious. why haven’t you thought abt it.

but yeah. it is what it is we have to put more work in to change as people in general. but i really just want my ppl to grow. ppl find comfort in fics for a reason. i really think a good balance of what everyone is looking for and needs should be found. i know ppl gonna feel like ppl telling them what to do but they prolly the ones who don’t want the change for wtv.. reason… ahem..

ppl feeling hit by what i said:

there’s obviously a problem and as a ppl! why can’t we just fix it. like at least try.

side note:

there’s so many ways to get drama. also the smut after arguing piss me off this is off topic cause it applies to a lot of ppl who make fics but like damn. y’all ain’t gon talk it out. and it be the most weird arguments and stuff and you wanna squeeze lemons after that???

idk that annoys me like everyyyy time? and i think smut after arguments can be well written but ….

anyways the blk ff community to damn big for us to be sitting here starving acting like we don’t have food in the refrigerator to make something.

get it together yall. youn want what’s in the refrigerator go get your keys and buy something.

i’m tired of this shit that’s why so many blk writers stop writing or ppl stop reading because it’s too much going on all for some damn fake characters we wanna imagine ourselves with.

and i know for some ppl it’s abt the followers and all that which i mean to each is own i mean

sigh i was tryna be proper and cordial but i really want better for us but it’s so many ppl who go too far or do too little. and some are so sheep that they go with someone else’s opinion too. you know you tired of all the toxic fics say sumn. you know you tired of ppl constantly bringing up yn being ghetto for no reason (that shit piss me off so bad i can’t. they be so close but so farr) say sumn.

me after thinking someone finna bring up how unnecessary struggle love/toxic/extra smutty blk fics are but they end up just complaining abt yn using aave:

anyways i’m ranting. i wanted to say what i felt.

muah

[corawritesthings]

a post two days in a row? are those pigs flying outside your window rn or is it just me?

chishiya shuntaro relationship headcanons

(isn’t he adorable)

okay! let’s talk relationship headcanons. (I went off on this one, you guys, so please bear with me) as always, gender neutral reader. assumed to be in the borderlands/at the beach.

-first, let’s talk angsty things.

-odds are, he did NOT want to fall for you in the slightest. you know the story already—feelings are weaknesses, he can’t be seen as weak, etcetera etcetera. so, just imagine we’re past all that.

-but one thing I think isn’t talked about enough is the fact that if you two are in a relationship, he will be in conflict with himself a LOT of the time.

-on one hand, he has some really, really strong feelings for you that he doesn’t quite understand himself. (in basic terms, man is down bad.) but on the other hand, he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if something were to happen to you in a game.

-part of him wants to come with you to every game to make sure he can protect you. at the same time, though, he doesn’t WANT to come to every game with you in the event that only one of you could walk out.  

-(and, honestly, it freaks him out a lot more than you would realize; because for all his self-preservation, he isn’t sure he would survive a game that only one of you could survive. read between the lines there.)

-obviously worries about you when you’re off at a game. he won’t show it, but his eyes are scanning the crowds constantly waiting for you to come back—and, of course, he’s more than relieved when you come back.

-(see, he doesn’t doubt your skills. he knows you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. but it still doesn’t help the anxiety that pounds in his chest while you’re away, undoubtedly fighting for your life.)

-so when you come back, he definitely holds you close on those nights and wishes, despite how useless he knows wishes are, that the two of you could stay in the moment forever, and neither of you would need to play the games again.

-yeah, he worries.

-a lot.

-which he doesn’t like, because if it were just him, he would be all he would need to worry about. he would only need to protect himself. and yet, now, with you, he has someone else to worry about (even more than himself).

-okay. cuter relationship things time. (my favorite tbh)

-I don’t know how many times I can drive the point home, but I'm going to say it yet again. QUALITY TIME.  

-your room is his room now.  

-like, yes, he does enjoy his personal space; but also, spending time with you is a way he shows his affection for you. he doesn’t like being around very many people for long periods of time (aside from possibly kuina), but for some reason, you just don’t bother him.

-in fact,(you’re gonna want to sit down for this one): he likes being around you.

-I know. crazy. he thinks so too.

-he’ll work on his little five minute crafts trinkets and tools in your room, and if you’re really curious, he’d explain the process to you and show you what he’s doing and how he does it. he’d also make some things for you (regardless if you wanted him to or not, LOL. it’s his way of trying to protect you when he can’t be there himself.)

-he’s not a party person in the slightest, but if you liked being out there with the party people (words from an eloquent writer), he’d lurk and let you do your thing. but don’t expect him to dance.

-though, if you really wanted to slow dance with him (and perhaps you two were on the rooftop alone), after a LOT of convincing, he might not say no.  

-he’s actually a lot softer than you think. still a sarcastic asshole, but soft.

-he’d be the kind of person who, if you had nightmares, would stay up with you afterwards. if you wanted to talk about it, he’d listen with no qualms about it. if you didn’t, he might just talk to you—about his life, what he did back then, his plans for the future, even if they’re a bit cynical. (which most definitely include you, by the way). or perhaps you could go for a walk, or just sit in silence. he’d do whatever makes you most comfortable.  

-and if you had a tendency to get hurt often, he’d probably be in the habit of scolding you, telling you constantly that you’re a walking magnet for trouble. but he’d patch you up regardless, making sure to be extra careful with you.

-he’s the ‘does-things-for-you-without-you-realizing-it-boyfriend.’

-like, if you liked a particular treat, it’d just start appearing at random intervals in your room. or if he noticed that you had a hobby that involved items that are reasonably accessible (like drawing or trinket collecting) he might get you little things here and there that he thought you’d like.

-if asked about it, though, he’d just shrug it off as not a big deal.

(EDIT: TO THE PERSON WHO LEFT A COMMENT SAYING THAT CHISHIYA’S GIFT GIVING REMINDED YOU OF A CAT BRINGING SOMETHING TO THEIR HUMAN, YOU’RE SO RIGHT)

-he likes talking to you, surprisingly enough. he’ll gladly take the pieces you give him about your past life to learn more about you. he won’t admit it, but he thinks often of how the two of you would fit into each other’s lives back in the real world.

-hand holding. <3

-he’d let you borrow his hoodie. definitely thinks it looks better on you than it does on him.

-how do I best explain this? your boyfriend is a cat.

-what I mean by this is, he literally would die before admitting it, but his favorite thing is cuddling. or when you play with his hair. oh my god, please play with his hair.

-physical touch is typically something he doesn’t like, but with you? oh boy.

-like, he wouldn’t ask for it. it’d be VERY rare for him to approach you for physical affection outright.

-instead, he’d just...plant himself in front of you. or on you. somehow just be near you enough to send telepathic brain waves in your direction, wanting you to play with his hair or his hands or just to hold him tbh.

-CAT BOY LIKES BEING HELD. I DIDN’T MAKE THE RULES.

-tbh, he might omit some things from you (for the sake of protecting you, in his mind), but he won’t outright lie to you or manipulate you. he thinks you’re too smart for that and you can call his bullshit easily LOL.

-but he also likes impressing you. so he’ll just show up with this ridiculous amount of knowledge out of nowhere, literally for the only purpose of throwing you off.

-also, regarding the term boyfriend. i think hearing you refer to him as your boyfriend secretly gives him butterflies <3

-would take you on faux dates on the rooftop or in your rooms if you liked that kind of thing.

too much? not enough? (also i love you guys honestly, seeing the little lightning bolt on my screen every day gives me the happy chemical. and your comments sometimes got me reeling LOL. i appreciate every one of you)

[joyful-witch]

Besties I strongly dislike Scott Cawthon but the fnaf movie was good and I’m annoyed that it was good. Like. The joy I felt watching the movie (and also cried like twice cus it hit way too close to home as an older sibling) is unparalleled. But also. Scott Cawthon is an awful person and supports people who want me dead? And also doesn’t believe women should have the right to basic medical care? And. My feelings are so conflicting rn. I want to separate my love for the series from Scott Cawthon. But if I did that I wouldn’t be any better than HP fans.

I think it’s okay to have these complicated feelings and talk about them. I’m still trying to figure it out myself?

I guess the big difference between JKR and Scott is that he avoids talking about his opinions and the only reason we know these things is due to his voting record and who he gives money to (which btw I don’t believe donating to lgbt charities makes up for voting for the party that wants to commit genocide against us. It’s still shitty. Like yay he’s donating to the Trevor project but also. Damn voting for these people that want us to not have rights and don’t want us to be alive really hurts).

He is still actively harming the community. Even if he isn’t outwardly spewing hateful rhetoric (unless he’s gotten worse. Or unless his opinions have rapidly changed over the past couple of years. If so please feel free to correct me, just not without sources).

But his series has basically transcended his control. It’s not controlled by him. It’s controlled by the fans. Half the shit that’s canon now wouldn’t be canon without the fans and it’s this big collaborative effort and that’s what’s so beautiful about it. Unlike jkr whose views and specifically racism are baked into her properties.

But he still gets money from it.

And he could be using that money to support some really awful people.

Idk. It’s complicated.

I don’t like or support Scott Cawthon. But I love fnaf. I grew up with it. I love the community. And it really influenced my love for horror media. And gods this movie was great. I had such a good time watching it.

I don’t know what point I’m trying to get at.

I guess I’m just sorta venting.

It sucks loving something when it’s creator who actively gains money from it supports some truly awful people.

I want to be able to put my feelings aside so I can joyfully rant about this movie without mentioning “gosh I wish Scott wasn’t involved” but that obviously isn’t the case.

I don’t expect any response to this post. Im just sorta putting my feelings out there into the void. And if someone relates I hope they know they aren’t alone.

And if you’re gonna say something hateful or something that outwardly supports conservatives I will gladly block you. There is no excusing the active genocide being perpetrated by the Republican Party against the queer community, but more specifically trans people. And if you support that then you can gladly get the fuck off my page. I will not tolerate bigotry.

Also don’t harass anyone mentioned in this post. I really don’t want their fans to harass me and don’t want them to have a reason to. I’m not very popular but last time I posted about Scott I got a bunch of death threats from a bunch of middle aged white men and trolling teenagers. And I do not have the mental capacity to deal with that right now. I’m dealing with a nasty bout of Covid and a nicely sized second degree burn from a cooking accident on top of my chronic illness I don’t need to be harassed.

K thanks bye

[abandonedbun]

this idea is itching my brain rn

ok so can i req andrew, mike, and aesop w/ a (basically but not quite) s/o (they/them pls uhndnsv) who knew them from before the manor, whom they pined for for like ages., and when they meet in it again after years they just go "WHY ARE YOU HERE" in their own way and just.

"so i missed u n no joke love you, and i got an invite here that said you'd be here so um haha hi ur stuck w me 😇"

Bun was super happy to do this request!! They hope you like it! :3

Also sorry but Bun managed to only do Andrew… blame the universe! Bun and the universe is having some conflict, but it’s just Bun’s life… being a magical girl isn’t easy!

They’ll do the other two soon, don’t worry!

Andrew Kreiss 🪦

You’ve managed to find him one day (well more like one night since he dislikes the sun)

It was quite hard to get close to him! He dislikes interactions with people because of how rude they were :((

But you were someone he could actually talk to! A friend! Someone he felt safe around!

When he just disappeared without a trace you were worried for your beloved friend!

You’ve gotten a letter from the manor, saying Andrew was there so you showed up!

His reaction… panic

Pure panic

“W-What are you d-doing here?! Why would you be here?! This place isn’t safe! What did you do?!-”

“Oh welll… umm… I really missed you and I was told you’d be here so I’m here now ( ^ω^ )”

“… Out of all reasons you showed up for me?”

He’s slightly questioning your reason for arriving to the manor

Doesn’t mean he isn’t protecting you with his life, back off, hunters! (ง'̀-'́)ง

Does eventually ask why you came for him (other then missing him)

“Well I may or may not have been in love with you for a and have wanted to say it to you for a while”

Shocked! (And flustered)

You came because you loved him? YOU LOVE HIM?!

Well now that he knows you feel the same, he’s even MORE protective!

Please hold his hand, it helps him know you’re there

He feels bad that he’s the reason you came here, and because you loved him and he sees himself as a monster

You drown him in love to let him know you don’t regret anything <3

[checkadii]

Holy shit, hi, I wanted to say thank you so much for your tags on your reblog of my fic 💙 I so appreciate it and you're too kind! I was a little nervous at times about the way I was characterizing Vash, so I'm really glad to hear it worked for you! Fics like this can be so hard to get eyes on so I really appreciate you taking the time to reblog and say what you thought!

GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS for a one shot the way you characterized him said a LOT . To me at least. It might be the hot weather getting to me idk . Characterization is such a doozy though I agree

THERES SOOO many aspects of Vash’s character that I’m so like. Picky abt when it comes to fanfics, I have about a dozen and some tabs opened on chrome rn that I scroll through every day,,, Usually he’s written as whiny, near childish, stubborn, generally babied, etc and that’s canon (to an EXTENT) but holy crap . He’s also angry, pent up and repressive, he’s frustrated, he’s living for an ideal that someone who left him long ago had, what does he have aside from that like ghfjnghn. He was the one who lashed out first in both 98 and trimax, and even if that’s tamer and more restrained, faint and maybe not with the fire it once had now and he’s mournful if anything,, he lost so much, and everything that was lost was meaningful to him,, for something nigh immortal (if he doesn’t drop dead like. 280 or smth idk) with so much time it fucking sucks to know that others close don’t have a fraction of it

the impact he had on the people around him even if he doesn’t know it, the impact the people has on him over the course of centuries,,, the way he felt unsure wether the right to be called uncle was his,,, but times changed. things changed

Another thing is that god. Yea. He would have vague knowledge of LR from wolfwood, and no matter the influence of that he’s still going to be wary I feel like. He should be. Hide it idc but there’s going to be some level of conflicted emotions towards him ghjngmnnnh .

AND MILLY!!! THAT WAS REALLY SAD TO READ BH THE WAY AHJSJD!!! Her becoming the family’s matriarch did put a smile on my face,,, aloof as she is she can be dependable and stubborn I feel like augh,,, and meryl :( her accepting the cane without much fight had me rolling around . IDK YOU JUST. vague hand gestures captured it really well in such short writing??

Living as someone else’s ideal turning into living for someone else entirely just. Myh. There isn’t much he can do, and that just. Leaves that. Carrying their memories. Keeping by their side to stave off their loneliness. Mourn those that passed, will pass, together. It really would be worth living the life he’s always lead

In short I’ll be rereading it along with that dozen and some tabs everyday thankyou for your work actually HOLYYY SHIT IM GIDDY THINKING ABT THE FIC AGAIN GELP 🗣

[mokkemusic]

Do you ever feel like your heart is being crushed yet bursting at the same time? It’s a complicated emotion to tell you the truth. My brain is in overdrive I have so many thoughts and feelings about things that I’m scared if I voiced them people would scoff at me and call me ridiculous. Maybe I am ridiculous but they are also my feelings if I interpret something in some way cause it’s close to my heart and makes me feel less lonely then even if im not interpreting something in the completely by the book proper way what does it actually matter as long as what Is ignites a strong emotion in me? I wonder if people would agree on that at least.

I feel so much love. At the same time I feel it can all go away. I can never feel like yes I’m ok. I always doubt even though it’s ridiculous for me to doubt. I always wonder if I am loved. I wonder what my role is? I wonder so many things.

But then I’ll have a HUGE BURST of excitement and then I’ll be like “haha I don’t care what no one thinks!” Till I reflect on it… and feel like I should be in a circus huh? The way I speak is so absurd sometimes I’m truly so grateful for the little things I get so sappy about the little things. The little things are the most important things of all you know? A text message an anime watch a great cup of coffee a piece of merch.

I want to express my thoughts I want someone to say “yes I understand your right I didn’t think about it that way character A does act like that. I guess that’s validation huh? But sometimes it makes your conviction (damn I truly didn’t think so much about the word “conviction” till reading Queens Quality) but it makes your conviction stronger. Thats one of my wishes for my conviction to be strengthened. I believe what I always believe in my heart but my conviction is fragile or very small sounding it’s been that way for years and years and years.

My secret little box of wishes aren’t filled with merch or manga they are the little things. When I’m overrun with love I forgot things like the world around me. It’s so nice I wish it was a bubble that never bursts cause even though I doubt express it im like a heart monitor with the high peak to the low peak when my brain is actually aware of my extremely innocent … too innocent to be normal… actions. Then I feel extremely terrible about myself and then we’re back to the high peak again.

Rn I’m bursting with energy in my brain and heart I can’t put it down. But it’s scary cause even tho it’s like that I’m always afraid it will be snuffed out like a candle. What can you do though right, there’s nothing you can do.

I have no idea what this ramble even is I just have so many feelings. I have more to offer I want to be given a chance. But no one is not giving me a chance I’m the only one who does that you know? Lots of conflicting emotions

[iwasborn4this]

tmnt idw comics (rant) (spoiler warning for this whole post)

for the record i am a new tmnt fan. rise was the first version i saw literally just last year. i started the 2012 show (i stopped on season 2 for no particular reason but plan on continuing it soon) and then recently picked up the idw comics after seeing a lot of people say it was the best iteration of the turtles. and what do you know i fucking loved it. i started the main series about a week ago and now i’m on issue 127. i should’ve been doing college work, but it was so good i couldn’t stop reading. i became obsessed.

however all good things must come to an end because it got kinda ?? bad ?? after issue 105. absolutely loved issues 1 through 105. the down time after issue 100 was definitely needed, and i totally appreciated the turtles getting time to grieve and break down and pick themselves back up during 101-105. but then the whole mutant town arc Really started and it felt like the tone of the whole comic shifted very drastically ??? i usually love when side characters get some attention for a bit but now it kinda feels like they’re getting too much attention. specially the kids, i don’t find the weasels very likable and i think lita should get just a bit less attention. specially did not like the decision to have big lita come from the future and Say Plot Points At Them (im also completely ignoring her comment about leo and koya of all people. what ??? who made this decision). and it’s been getting gradually worse from there. i’m currently on issue 127 like i said and it just feels like the comic has some downtime and then it never picked back up. commander zom literally died on issue 126 and i didn’t feel any type of way about it except “well that was underwhelming”. shredder astral projecting to whisper in people’s ears is kinda weird. what even happened !!! how did the quality of the story-telling change so drastically !!! i wish i was better at identifying what specifically i dislike, and better at articulating it and explaining myself but yeah.

about specific characters:

- what’s up with casey. he kinda sucks now. started sucking after the breakup i feel like. i don’t need april and casey to get back together or anything but i feel like his character started getting meh after that and now we never see him and when we do he’s…. uhhh

- leo and raph’s independent emotional arcs make sense, i just wish there was more going on like there used to be before. love mikey starting a radio show, more of that please (this ties back in with me wanting more of the conflict with the outside of mutant town as well). and is it just me or is donnie not doing much of anything rn ??

- jennika: i’ve seen a lot of people complain about her but i actually quite like her. i think it makes sense that she would get a lot of focus from the story right after her mutation, and that we get to see her struggling with being a mutant and splinter’s death as well. i also don’t dislike the idea of her having an older sister dynamic with the other turtles, i just hope the narrative doesn’t overstep her place in the story. like i hope the story doesn’t start treating her like she’s on the same level as the og 4, or that she’s actually their older sister or something. maybe later on but currently it doesn’t feel like she’s known them for that long or is close enough with them for the sister thing to really work. and as for the 5th turtle thing just in general i don’t think introducing more turtles in any iteration is inherently a bad idea, i just don’t think it can work if you try to put said 5th turtle on the same level as the other four. it just feels wrong. but anyway

well that was longer than i wanted it to be. if someone actually bothered to read this post let me know what you think!! also i’m not totally caught up yet, does the story pick up again during the armageddon game arc ??? looking forward to it if so. i've been reading only the main series so far (oops, i'll get around to the other stuff i promise) but once the armageddon game arc starts i'll definitely read all of the (armageddon game-related) material chronologically

[outivv]

Okay but like, what if the tall Genshin boys (Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, and Dainsleif) have a smol crush that can and will jump on them and make them carry her around, either bridal style or piggyback. She will also stare intently at them, until they notice and ask what's up, and she just goes,"Pick me up you handsome bastard" And she may or may not nuzzle into them everytime they carry her, because a handsome man is holding her and she likes that handsome man :D

Synopsis: handsome man has crush on smol reader, who likes to be carried around.

Warnings: none!

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Characters: zhongli, Diluc, Dainsleif, childe, and kaeya. (In other words tall handsome men.)

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: sorry I’m getting to this so late, I saw it but was in the middle of stuff and was like “oh shit I’m not gonna get to this for a hot second” so I’m really sorry. But here I am now! Lowkey you’re carrying my blog rn with these amazing requests 💀. I really hope you enjoy, especially because of the wait, and take care of yourself!

— zhongli —

Zhongli has a habit of staring, so when you stare at him expectingly he just thinks that you have the same habit. So he’s fairly unbothered by it. He takes a while to look at you, because again he’s unbothered.

When he does and you instantly say, “pick me up you handsome bastard” he almost spits out he tea from shock. Instead he just chokes on his tea. After regaining his composure, he just looks at you like “for real??? Now??? I mean sure but... now???”

He’ll pick you up at any time, but unless it’s in the privacy of your own home he kinda looks at you weirdly before picking you up

If you ever throw yourself at him he’ll catch you yes, but then proceed to put you down (if you’re in public otherwise he’d carry you everywhere) and if he’s working then he’d just sit you in his lap, and get back to work. But make no mistake he’d carry you everywhere the second you get back home.

Whenever you nuzzle into him his heart just... breaks. In a good way! (If there is a good way...?) He just adores you, and in this moment he’ll typically chuckle a bit, kissing your forehead, and bringing you away to cuddle (if you want to ofc he’s a gentleman after all! He’ll ask you!)

— Diluc —

Diluc... kinda just goes along with it. You jump into his arms at any point and time and he’ll probably just be like, “... mkay 😐” and continue with whatever he’s doing.

The only time he doesn’t do this is when he’s working at angels share, and when he’s fighting. He needs his hands for both, so he can’t carry you.

He knows what you want when you stare at him. Typically he’ll oblige your request, and just sigh and say, “alright come here” with arms wide open. But other times he’ll notice yeah, but just see how determined you are for him to carry you. So he’ll pretend that you aren’t staring at him with a smile, he wants to laugh so badly because your face is so funny in the corner of his eye.

When you break down and say, “pick me up you handsome bastard” he’ll just have the most shocked face, with a bright red blush. After that he’ll pick you up with no hesitation.

Whenever he feels you nuzzling yourself into the fluffy part of his coat, his knees go weak. He can carry anyone no matter their height/size/ weight, but he feels so weak in that moment. You truly have him wrapped around your finger.

— Dainsleif —

He typically doesn’t notice when you stare at him. Like he does... but doesn’t. He’s fairly unbothered so he knows, but it’s just a thought in the back of his mind.

When you out of nowhere say, “pick me up you handsome bastard” he’ll be shocked. Slightly blushing and trying to hide said blush with his massive freaking hands. But not long after he’ll have his arms open waiting for you.

He’ll often stare at you when you’re in his arms. Whether he’s just cuddling with you or carrying you, he’ll just... stare at you. So when you nuzzle into him, he’ll most likely see it. And his heart becomes so soft. He can’t believe that you’re with him. Someone who many think failed them. Failed protecting them. But now he gets to start over. Have a life with you, protect you. He gets a second chance. Thoughts like these will swirl his mind, and he’ll have the most adoring look on his face. He’ll hold you tighter against him, and kiss the top of your head about a thousand times, while whispering words of adoration.

Whenever you jump into his arms he’ll catch you, I mean if you ran at full speed at jumped on him he’ll catch you. Mans strong as hell what can I say.

If you jump on his back he’ll be surprised yes, and will absolutely not think it’s you at first until he hears your voice. He was ready to fight someone, so maybe don’t jump on his back 😀

— childe —

You don’t even have to look at him, for him to pick you up. He’ll do it either way he does not care. Most of the time he’ll throw you over his shoulder just for fun (especially around your house).

When you do stare at him though he’ll notice yeah, but wait until you get so full of him just looking straight ahead not paying any attention to you. So when you say, “pick me up you handsome bastard.” He’ll act unsurprised (which he pretty much is), but he’s blushing so hard that it makes you think otherwise.

Whenever you jump on him, and kinda force him to carry you he’ll just look at you with a smirk, and say some corny pick up line. Man I’d run out of his arms so fast- he’s just trying to be funny and make you laugh though. He doesn’t mean any harm.

If you jump on his back though... he’ll flip you onto the floor in an instant. I don’t know why you’d think that jumping onto a fatui harbinger’s back was a good idea... they were literally trained to fight... 👁👄👁

Childe is fairly oblivious whenever he’s carrying you, he’s so used to if at this point that he just spaces out. But when he feels you nuzzling into his chest he’ll snap right back to reality. He’ll tease you a bit, but tease him back, even a little bit and he’ll just malfunction. He’ll be absolutely smitten with you, and give you like thirty kisses as you laugh. Sneaking in a few ‘shut ups’ before continuing to kiss you.

— kaeya —

You’re either super lucky, or are absolutely screwed. He’ll notice you staring. He knows. And he just keeps looking straight ahead of him with a smile. And he would continue doing that until you said, “pick me up you handsome bastard.” Cause then he’d snort, and entertain your request.

Kaeya typically carries you around the favonius headquarters when he has nothing to do. And when he feels you nuzzle into him, he gets so unexplainably soft, that he’ll march right back to his office to cuddle with you in his lap for a while. Or he’ll flat out carry you home. He has his moments where he becomes so soft that he can’t do anything else other than hold you close.

If you run after him, he’ll just... ignore you. Until the last second of course. At the last second he’ll pick you up, and twirl you around kissing you all over your face before carrying you bridal style.

Doesn’t know how to react when you jump on his back. A part of him at first thinks “who is this... what????” And wants to flip you over like childe, but another part of him is like “calm tf down it’s just y/n 🧍” so as you can see he’s kinda conflicted. But that all stops when he hears you laughing from behind him, and saying a hello through your giggles. You lowkey gave him a heart attack though

[asakiooi]

Overtime - Josiah Headcanons 4am Thoughts

Sorry everyone but I need to get my thoughts out I will never stop talking about Josiah.

He’s lax asf. Shy?? Sorry I don’t even see an ounce of that. (Maybe a little if you manage to get him flustered).

He’s just a “dude…” “bro…” kind of guy ya know? (What he may refer to you has nothing to do with your gender).

Yandere for you. I may be over looking this but the way he casually murders the people that were on your back or those you interacted with, you CANNOT BREAK MY HEART AND SAY HE ISNT.

Dry humor is his go to. Joke along with him or if you genuinely find them funny he will always recall those moments to himself.

Teases you as well. Nothing too harsh and will call himself out if he sees you’re uncomfortable.

He knows he’s making an awkward moment. He does it on purpose sometimes.

Might be a “if I can’t have them no one can” kind of yandere idk.

If you are a gamer PLAY WITH HIM. He can and will teach you how to play a particular game. Once you get used to it though no more hand holding he will bully you.

If you are not don’t worry you can just sit on his lap and watch him play lovingly.

Speaking of gaming, quality time is something I’d see him value in a relationship.

He would spend 100% percent of his time with you if he could. Unfortunately he’s got other “things” to plan out if things don’t go his way.

I’ve thought about this but I can’t really see him as someone who will offer himself 100% quickly. He definitely would take his time to open up or reveal more of himself to you as long as you make yourself trustworthy.

Not as unaware/impulsive as others may think. I mean cmon he managed to murder three(?) people in the HR office and was hinted on cleaning up his “mess” before you came in, meaning he could probably get things under wrap in a short amount of time.

When he’s with you there is no such thing as personal space. Unless you make a comment he will not care about how close he is with you.

Good listener. He will always hear about what you’re talking about from a 999 mile radius. Rant, vent, etc to him, he will listen even when he’s on his games.

Also a good observer. Sees the object that you want from a particular store? Casually buys it and give it to you on your birthday or something. This varies based on the price though. I don’t really see him buying random expensive stuff.

He likes looking at you. Has staring problems. It’s like he’s cherishing the very moment you are blessing him with.

Wear his cap and he’ll just stare at you like a cat. No blinking at all. No one knows how he’s feeling rn.

Ruffle his hair? Ruffle his hair. At first he’d make a comment, a humorous invitation from him really. But when you make this a routine, it’s his comfort. Even if he doesn’t say it.

Pet names are a eh from me. I can’t see him using “my love”, “love”, or “dearest”. Rather I think he’d prefer to call you by your name and by modern pet names like “babe”.

Strong. Could lift up the average man with one hand. I can imagine him slamming a body down the ground after he’s finished with them, muah.

I’d say he would be pretty tall or slightly above the average height. Nothing too crazy.

I don’t think he would worship the very ground you walk on however I do think he will treat you more specially.

Not very emotional in terms of sensitivity. He’s in tune with yours but god, you will never hear this man talk about his own wants or needs. Would probably freeze up for a second whenever you hug him if you’re affectionate like that.

If he were to ever get into a argument with you ahem, say you think he’s being a bit overbearing, he might just manipulate you into thinking that he’s doing this for your own good in his usual “dude…” “bro…” voice (voiced by ManlyBad obvi). This would be a very conflicting area.

He ain’t much of a talker but when he needs to use more words he will. Even so he prefers to shorten his sentences up. Straight to the point.

Anger? On this man? Oh you wouldn’t even be able to tell. If he was angry at you, he would take some time to himself and for you to cool down. If he got angry at his target, he would be more violent than usual however he still does this with his calm esque. You would be able to tell depending on how much blood was spilled.

He takes a long time to get truly angry. Sure, when he’s out here murdering HR it’s only a sliver of his anger. If you want him to get angry, you should have another co-worker berate you and embarrass you in front of everyone. Josiah doesn’t like seeing you unhappy.

A sad Josiah is a rare sight to see. I’m not sure how to write this out in honesty. In general if you asked him to vent to you he would just tell you about his past (that doesn’t involve murder) and he would be done with that. If you somehow got him to vent about his “experiences” and trauma in a healthy way, he might just tear up. Nothing more than a shed of it though.

Two outcomes for this one. A jealous Josiah would be prevalent but you wouldn’t notice this. Death stares and scoffs anyone flirting with you. Or he’s the type to not worry bc he can easily murder them later anyways.

Bro is kinda emotionally dead from loops good luck.

At the end of his rope, if you somehow escaped from his grasps too many times or if you did something to make him desperate, he’d kill you. He has no hesitation. Not too sure about the game twist loop at the ending but I believe if he were to kill you the cycle would reset and repeat itself. You’d had vague memory of what happened but he will remember. This time he would do anything to keep you in his clutches. He can do this as many times as he can, he will learn everything that you may do if you ever found out. It’s hopeless to escape. Who knows how many times he’s done this.

The whole loop thing is probably why he’s so relaxed about everything. He knows what might happen and he is prepared for the ones he doesn’t know. He most likely saw your death many times and was likely the cause of most of it. At this point if you die whether by his hands or by an outside force he has no problem in restarting again. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care though. He will do everything in his power to make sure this loop lasts for a long time.

In the ending of the game where you have the option to tell him about your “dream”, he will take note of this and will be more secretive in his risky “plans”. However you wouldn’t even know since at the beginning of the game you have always viewed him a your non suspicious co-worker.

Somehow if you were to ever live in a loop where you are truly happy with him and his flaws, he would want to keep that loop alive forever and ever. If you die not by him, I can see him becoming Homura 2.0.

Finished at 6am. Wow.

[findingmyselfatm]

Astro notes because these typa posts are getting popular

The usual dsiclaimer: I am no professional, take what resonates. Most of these are based off my close friends' charts.

To start off strong, I love venus in Aires. They're so passionate and fun in love, it's amazing. They most likely have a flirty nature with a streak of independence. I know, Aires isn't the best sign for venus, but if that's true why are they so cute??? Ok no jk jk, but for real now. As someone with a libra venus they make my heart go 📈📈. I feel like they're also the type to not want to label their feelings? Especially with some aquarius in the mix.

You have taurus placements? Be my friend rn. They're so down to earth and giving, not the most upfront about it but they care a lot for the people dear to them. Expression is different for every placement, but taurus moon is probably the most clear about it.

To all my mercury in the 9th house and 12th house people, you're not stupid just because these houses aren't considered a comfy place for the planet. Firstly 9th house is literally the house of higher studies and philosophy, I do not see the connection to lack of intelligence. And secondly, the 12th house also represents our subconscious, with mercuy in it, I suspect these people are more rational than they look or than their own expectations.

I have seen some astrology observations saying scorpios are attracted to leos and capricorns and uh, as a scorpio sun and mercury, cut the cams guys. This mix is simply so, good and appealing. The scorpio archetype values loyalty, truth and emotional depth. If there are any signs fit for this, capricorn and leo are among them. They're definitely loyal to their loved ones, not just anybody. They're devoted to their passions and most likely hard working too. What more could my scorpio juno want? (I am planning a juno post btw)

Another thing I have noticed is the observation that Neptune in the 1st/Pisces rising cannot be characterised by others easily. I have neptune in the 1st and yeah. Realistically, everyone acts a little different depending on the environment, but with this placement, I hardly feel like any personality test, kins, or other people's descriptions of me fit unless I tailor them and try to much them all together. I think this is because of Neptune in the 1st's tendency to be chameleon like, not necessarily on purpose. Also perhaps their disconnect from themselves. As someone who likes consistency in character, this sometimes infuriates me. If anyone else with these placements feels like this too, a word of advice is to accept the chameleon nature. It is human nature as well, not just astrology. Also, one single placement does not define your entire identity, so don't worry about it. If you wish to change something, maybe use neptune in the 1st's ability to change according to an ideal >:)

Find someone with their mars sign as your eros sign, or vice versa, if you're looking for physical/sexual attraction. Eros in mythology is the son of Aphrodite and Ares, Venus and Mars, he is basically the ultimate physical attraction placement. F.e: my best friend has mars in aquarius, and I have aquarius eros. Our chemistry is strong haha- and I have another friend whose eros was in capricron, and they obsessed over a guy with capricorn mars.

Talking about capricorn mars, I feel like it gets over-sexualised in the astrology community but for a good reason- ok no jk. These people have a great potential for an amazing work ethic, and really have a no bullshit attitude. I bet you can see why people thirst over them, right?

If there is one mars sign that always manages to piss me off, it's either gemini, pisces or aquarius mars. Gemini mars attacks you with their words, they most likely know where to hurt you. Aquarius mars is like this as well, but a whole lot more stubborn in the face of opposition. Meanwhile pisces mars is passive and they simply do not engage, which can leave people a little irritated (it's me, I'm people). However I believe these mars signs have a lot of positives as well. Gemini mars is very observant and witty, that's how they strike where it hurts. Aquarius mars is usually confident in their opinions, and pisces mars is great at mediating conflict when they don't run from it.

People say Jupiter in the 11th makes someone popular, meanwhile me, with this placements standing here with a friendgroup of at most 5 people. Ok no jk again. I get that it depends a lot on other factors. That's why I think Jupiter in the 11th makes someone jovial and easy to approach.

To all my other moon in the 12th house people, do you ever have moment when you respond emotionally to a situation you weren't expecting to? Like, where did that come from? I'll make a longer post on this, but I believe being in the 12th house, emotional workings are hidden and when they arise they are unexpected.

"Moon conjunct Saturn are unemotional" nah nah, they don't show they are emotional. Moon conjunct Saturn people can be extremely emotional just like anyone can, but they keep their feelings on a leash, to hell with it if they'd let them out lmao. Of course, they open up to the people they truly trust, which makes them very guarded but less likely to get stuck in a blackmail typa situation.

Chiron conjunct mars people have to heal some wounds regarding their anger. Perhaps they have internalised anger, or they express it too outwardly and hurt others without knowing. I sense there are some issues with figuring out where the blame stands (blame themselves too much or too little). Mars is also about protecting your own, so these people are most likely very guarded in terms of their issues and trauma.

Is it me or do we tend to have a love hate relationship with the sign of our descendant? I have Leo descendant and my experience with Leo sun signs isn't that great, however I am in love with leo moons even if they sometimes piss me off lmao- a friend of mine has Sagittarius descendant, and she said she doesn't like Sagittarius placements. And then she got a crush on someone with a Sagittarius stelluim-

And thay concludes it. Thanks for reading, and feedback is always welcome!

[ddarker-dreams]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.

I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.

The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you

1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this

2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.

The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.

3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.

4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.

cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.

i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.

was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.

speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,

"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*

i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.

kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.

KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?

we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...

well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)

kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?

WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.

then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.

then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,

"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."

so on and so forth.

but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.

at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.

anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.

[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

[luthienne]

do u have any poems/works/just any words at all about feeling like your body isn’t yours or like it’s your enemy?? i’m in a battle with gender dysphoria and rn it’s winning and i hate it

dear anon.... i have felt like my body is my enemy, like it does nothing but betray me and do what i don’t want and try to protect me in all the wrong ways, but i think for different reasons. and so i don’t know that my coping strategies would help and i don’t want to assume anything of your own experiences... but most of these are words that speak to me when i am feeling at war w my own body and i hope they help at all... i’m sending you so much love <3

“I’m not sure it is possible to articulate grief through language. You can say, I was so sad I thought my bones would collapse. I thought I would die. But language always falls short of the body when it comes to the intensity of corporeal experience. The best we can do is bring language in relationship to corporeal experience—bring words close to the body—as close as possible. Close enough to shatter them. Or close enough to knock a body out. To bring language close to the intensity of experiences like love or death or grief or pain is to push on the affect of language. Its sounds and grunts and ecstatic noises. The ritual sense of language. Or the cry.”

— Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water

“I have always tried to make a home for myself, but I have not felt at home in myself. I have worked hard at being the hero of my own life, but every time I checked the register of displaced persons, I was still on it. I didn’t know how to belong. Longing? Yes. Belonging? No.”

— Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

“These days, someone else / inhabits this body, perhaps / someone you do not want to be. / The soliloquy of these thoughts  / all amassing to one, is bluest too: / you are not you.”

“Who knows you, knows / this, this thing hidden / beneath your skin? / See how it glows at night / when everyone else is asleep / in a dreamless world, see how / it seems to breathe a different air, / and exhale only poison, like the / greenest plant in an empty room. / There’s the metaphor / you’ve been looking for: / you are the empty room. / And now sit: / your poison is just settling in.”

“...and this kind of sorrow does not let you be / who you want to be,”

— Mahtem Shiferraw, from Your Body is War

“I even distrust my own shadow,”

— Frida Kahlo, ‘You are always with me: Letters to mama,’ c. 1st January 1931

“I wake with my hand held over the place of grief in my body. / ‘Depend on nothing,’ the voice advises, but even that is useless. / My ears are useless, my familiar and intimate tongue. / My protecting hand is useless, that wants to hold the single leaf to the tree / and say, Not this one, this one will be saved.”

— Jane Hirshfield, from After

“Today I forgot what it was I went looking for, my own face, or the shape of something I should love. I just watched the leaves gather around my feet, their small dead selves lighter now, unselved. Perhaps this is part of it, a willingness to forget the way the world has touched our bodies sharply,”

— Molly McCully Brown & Susannah Nevison, Post-Op Letters in the Field Between Us

“My friend and I call grief the beautiful terrible because it is a wound that opens you but also shows you the miracles of what is inside you. Rather than try to escape my griefs, I’m trying to recognize them as a wildness I can submerge myself in, to be washed clean by the very thing that aches me so deeply. To give my grief to a beloved’s body, to take her grief into my body, to rearrange ourselves with it and become both more and less of one another and of our own selves—this is a lucky thing.”

— Natalie Diaz

“How to explain that “trans” may work well enough as shorthand, but the quickly developing mainstream narrative it evokes (“born in the wrong body,” necessitating an orthopedic pilgrimage between two fixed destinations) is useless for some - but partially, or even profoundly, useful for others? That for some, “transitioning” may mean leaving one gender entirely behind, while for others it doesn’t? …How to explain, in a culture frantic for resolution, that sometimes the shit stays messy? I do not want the female gender that has been assigned to me at birth. Neither do I want the male gender that transsexual medicine can furnish and that the state will award me if I behave in the right way. I don’t want any of it. How to explain that for some, or for some at some times, this irresolution is OK - desirable, even - whereas for others, or for others at some times, it stays a source of conflict or grief? How does one get across the fact that the best way to find out how people feel about their gender or their sexuality is to listen to what they tell you, and to try to treat them accordingly, without shellacking over their version of reality with yours?”

— Maggie Nelson, The Argonauts