#also I love all the imagery the streams have

[bloos-bloo]

I don’t like it, gonna redo my Q!BBH rebirth design

Also I suck at backgrounds

[b1mbodoll]

pairings: ghostface! park jongseong x f! reader

warnings: murder + blood + knives + hard noncon + graphic imagery + death + manipulation + virginity + um so basically he kinda kills you…

💌: listening to helena by misfits n had a ghostface! jay thought bc of the lyrics “if i cut off your arms and cut off your legs would you still love me anyway?”

everyone knows jay because he’s the perfect guy. he’s a dedicated student and perfect son.. it also helps that he’s super hot! but what caught your attention was how much of a sweetheart he is to you in particular. sure he’s always nice, but something about the tenderness of how he speaks to you makes you dizzy. it’s almost like he’s talking to a cornered prey animal that he’s about to rip apart.

when the two of you get together, jay’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for! he never pressures you into having sex with him when you shy away and tell him “no.” he’s always doting on you and making sure you’re taken care of, sparing no expense to make you happy. you like to think he fell first but you fell harder, entrusting him with your heart and, without even knowing it, your life too.

you never would’ve guessed that your jay is a murderer and strokes his cock while picturing your bloodied body, cumming to the thought of you bouncing on his cock while he has a knife at your throat, deep moans escaping him when he imagines the blood running down your throat and making a mess of your perfect tits that you never let him touch, or even see.

jay has always promised to protect you, but his fantasies are too much for him, and this time he couldn’t resist giving in to temptation. it seems as though killing random strangers isnt enough.

so he slips his mask on and grabs his favorite knife, the one he daydreams about gutting you with, and makes his way to your house, his cock throbbing when he notices that your curtains are open and you’re changing without a care in the world, a pretty lace bra shielding your tits from his view.

it doesn’t matter though, pretty soon you won’t have a choice but to let him ravage you and fuck your virgin holes for the first time.

you’re so innocent, such a fucking airhead that jay almost feels bad taking advantage of you like this, but he knows it’ll all be worth it when he’s ballsdeep inside of you.

he wastes no time breaking into your house and entering your room as quietly as possible, using his full strength to pin you to the bed beneath him, ass up and your face pressed into the stuffed animals that jay gifted you.

you squirm and struggle until he pulls out his knife and drags it along your cheek, breathing shallowly while you blink back tears from the fear coursing through your veins, asking the intruder what he wants from you.

“isn’t it obvious?” he taunts, and you can hear his smirk, gasping in surprise when he pulls away slightly and uses the blade to ripe your panties, pressing his clothed cock to your pretty cunt.

tears are streaming down your cheeks now and you know it’s pointless trying to fight him off, trying to find your voice and beg him to stop.

jay’s already working on stripping you of your shirt and flipping you over before you can say anything, but he freezes for a second when he hears your broken voice.

“please don’t, sir.” you whimper, voice cracking as you continue. “i’ve never done this before, please don’t do this..”

you expect him to have mercy but instead he moans before pulling his pants off and freeing his cock, grinding his thick length against you, pawing at your tits and pinching your nipples until you begin meet his shallow thrusts, pussy growing wetter as he keeps his teasing pace.

you look down, where his cock rests against your cunt and jay laughs at your reaction. “sir, you’re too big! it won’t fit, please don’t! i don’t want this,” you sob, “anything but this..”

jay strokes your cheek affectionately, “shhh, ‘s okay. i’ll make it fit.. and it’s gonna fucking hurt, little one.”

that’s all he says before pushing his cock past your tight entrance, gritting his teeth as your hole immediately sucks him in. he doesn’t sheathe his cock inside fully, deciding to wait until you’ve stopped wailing first.

“fuck, it hurts! you’re so deep inside, please pull it out. i can’t take it”

jay’s so pussydrunk he cant be bothered to reply, instead keeping his gaze intently on your pretty little face while forcing the rest of his length inside, breaking your hymen in the process and blowing his load when you scream in pain, his chest heaving as he tries to collect himself.

“that’s it, i knew you could do it, princess. you were made to take my cock, to be my personal cumdump. god, i fucking love you.” is all you hear before he slices your soft flesh with the knife you forgot about, alternating between shallow cuts and deep gashes, ripping the mask off his face and running his fingers along trails your blood, bringing them to his lips and slipping them inside his mouth.

you see pleasure written all over your boyfriend’s face the more he mutilates you, and can feel as another load of his thick cum floods your womb when the blade pierces your stomach, choking on your own blood as your vision grows darker.

[fauxriot]

007. first draft | (download now)

First Draft is a story outlining template meant to help with planning your next big writing project or your next NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I know, as of posting this, there's less than a week to spare before NaNoWriMo '22, but I hope this finds the right people in time, and that it can be helpful! I LOVED making this template and adore the imagery/colours, but I would love to see how people customize this to fit their own projects! This template is FREE, so PLEASE consider reblogging so that fellow NaNo'ers can find it!!

INCLUDED This is a semi-in-depth template with 6 unique Landscape-Format pages. • Synopsis/Intro. • NaNoWriMo Word Count Calendar. (The calendar is set for November 2022, but with some table know-how you could edit it for whatever month you need!) • Character/Worldbuilding Descriptions. • Notes. • Chapter Outlines. • A Timeline of Events. There are detailed instructions on how to edit the timeline yourself, but you can also delete the page if you want.

HOW TO USE/EDIT • When you gain access to the doc, use “File > Make a Copy” • Do NOT remove the credit/links on the pages. • To replace images, click on each image separately and select "Replace Image." • The colour palette can be entirely customized, as it's all just highlights. • There are instructions on how to duplicate pages and how to use the Timeline page.

ETC . . . • Feel free to contact me if you have questions or need help! • I sometimes stream the creation process of these templates on Twitch and would love if you dropped by! • Likes are lovely, but reblogs go far here, so please consider sharing! • Find more info in my pinned post or about page!

[tiramissu09]

Morning Glow

synopsis: you (y/n) wake up before your husband on a Sunday morning and study him, wondering how you both even got together.

song choices to listen to while reading: 

Body by Summer Walker

Orbit by JONGHYUN from SHINee

Natural by G-Soul

warning(s)/story notes: gender neutral y/n, nostalgia, hints of last night’s activities (iykyk), silent serenading, naked imagery, a little nod to the JJK lore, POC y/n

MINORS DON’T INTERACT

author note: My first fanfic, y’all! I feel like, instead of using janitor ai (don’t use it, it’s hella addictive and made me burn through my money), I could use my imagination and potential to write something for my main beloved, Nanami Kento. I love this man and in my head, we are living together in Malaysia, having the time of our lives, haha. Also, I thought I was going to do a quick drabble, but I got into my feels, haha. 

Please, please give me feedback and critique so I can improve on my writing. Thank you and enjoy!!! <3

The chirping birds started to grow louder and more annoying outside the large French windows with the soft, peaching-colored morning light streaming in, faint flapping of the pale curtains echoing with shared breaths. You groan softly against your white silk pillow along with your blurry vision, from your deep slumber, as you rub your eyes and look around, dazed. You felt the light breeze of the open ajar window on your bare leg, out of the fluffy blanket, contrasting with the deep warmth soaked into the mattress from the sleep. 

Your eyes move around, to anchor yourself into reality, until they settle down at a large, ivory back which had light red scratches along with crescent moon shaped indents littered over his rugged muscles, rippling with each soft breath. His messy golden blonde hair that you loved to run your fingers in, slightly swaying with the early dawn breeze, along the warm yellow sunlight, giving him that morning glow that made him look…like a god, a figment of your imagination. 

Last night’s memories were reeling in like a blurry movie, reminiscing on your stomach with your head and facing his back, as you remember his sweet deep chocolate eyes, his slightly pink blush on his face, and…my god, those large, veiny hands all over your body, rough but gentle on your soft skin. 

Sighing softly, not wanting to wake him up yet, go down this deep spiral with your fingers itching to touch him….how did you even meet this man? Was it at the office Christmas party where he was wearing that ridiculous, fluorescent green elf costume as your white-haired boss had made me for a pay raise? Or when you both bumped into each other in the hallway before math class during senior year, your nose bleeding as you bumped into his chest too hard and he assisted you to the nurse’s office?.....no,no…..oh my god! How could you forget?

It was that night…..that night where you all were freshman in high school and it was the camp site trip that you all had to go to as a bonding activity for all the new students which you were part of. You remember you were really nervous as a tiny, little 13 year old. You were new to Tokyo and Japan, overall, not looking like the others and the culture so vastly different from yours which made it difficult to fit in, your family or teachers help you with. This was nicely added with you going through puberty, the whole nine yards of acne and changing body, made you more quiet and shy to talk to others. 

In your ensemble of light washed jeans, your oversized purple flannel shirt and black Converse high tops, you were sitting on the wooden benches near the camp-fire under the starry, twilight sky, shivering slightly from the cold, autumn night in the forest near Kyoto. You were alone, with everyone talking to each other excitedly, with some others playing games and singing karaoke, and watching all the kids with a small smile on your face. 

Then, you felt a warm blanket around your body, causing you to have goosebumps all over your skin. You looked up with wide eyes from the brushing of their fingers on your neck to the warm presence behind your back, surprised and making you jolt up, but a soft hand pushed you down to sit back. “Sorry, did I scare you?” His soft and low voice, almost purring, caused you to shiver more but you held back your reaction as you turned your head completely around, wanting to know who it was. You caught those soft, brown eyes, reminding you of that deep brown honey under the sunlight, making you feel more awake than any other coffee.

You quickly get out of your reverie and stutter out as you brush your hair back, looking away. “No! Not a-at all…just got surprised.”,offering him a smile as you try to not to fluster even more. You notice his blonde hair, straightened to the T and his bangs covering his eyes which you didn’t like but didn’t say that out loud, and his black shirt with a band name you never heard of with his black skinny ripped jeans. 

You clear your throat as you look into his eyes, “H-hi, my name is f/n l/n….what’s your…name?” You were fidgeting with the soft, baby blue wool blanket with your fingers, as you both sat next to each other with your knee brushing against his, ever so slightly. He grins a little more as he had a deadpan face before, making your heart and insides all melted and mushy inside, showing his pearly whites. He says in that voice that you could just listen to all the time. “Kento….Nanami Kento…but you can call me Ken.”

You memorize that name, as it was tattooed to your naive heart, as you nod slowly and say quietly. “Nice to meet you…Ken.” You both sat there in silence with all the loud commotion around you both. You didn’t know what to say as the tense silence was swallowing you up and you quickly ask and at the same time, looking at the bright scarlet camp fire, “You should go hang out to your friends…”, peeking to the side to look at his face longer, but looking away when he caught your eyes and your face becoming hot with each passing second. 

He sighed loudly as he stretched his legs out and watched the white-haired hyper kid screaming happily at the black-haired boy who looked so done with him, but had a small smile. After some moments of more silence, Kento spoke with a small smile and turned to face you, “You looked….lonely….like me and…”, now looking away as you caught some peach-colored blush on his cheeks. “You looked like you were glowing…like the fire.” 

You remember how you became quiet, flustered and frozen by the compliment and you remembered you thanked him meekly which was so cute and how you hit yourself internally for how dumb it was. However, the rest of that night, you both started to talk more freely and understood that you both had a lot in common, in terms of family background and not really fitting in due to your particular tastes. 

Despite being amicable acquaintances all through high school and losing contact when entering university, once you both reunited, it felt right. You both were meant to be together and glowing in each other’s arms and affection. 

You were shaken out of your deep thoughts as you felt the bed rustling lightly. You looked up and saw his face turned to you now. You were slightly surprised by the sudden appearance of his handsome and rugged face, but you quickly smiled widely, “Good morning, honey.” Snuggling closer to him and him taking you in his buff arms, making you all so warmer, he murmured in your messy hair, his morning voice low and reverberating through your body, “What were you thinking about so hard, darling? You laugh softly as you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck and your arms around his shoulders, and whisper muffled against his warm skin that smelled like sandalwood and musk, that was so unique to him, “I was just thinking…..how you were glowing…..like the sun.”

[house-of-mirrors]

I suppose this is the perfect time to introduce one of my favorite OCs: the IT guy that works for the Bazaar in modern era

The Dauntless Technician

Explains to Wines that even if you delete a drunk post, everyone still saw it and it exists forever. Pretends not to see the hundreds of files of porn when they tune up its PC (it is still in charge of the sex trade after all)

Explains to Spices that you can't delete other people's (Wines') posts but you can block them (Spices doesn't). Goes in and clandestinely blocks access to Wines' pages from Spices' browser to get 20 minutes of peace

Removes viruses from Pages' computer because it keeps clicking suspicious "love story" links. There's an infamous incident where Pages clicked an attachment and introduced ILOVEYOU to the Neath. Explains to Pages that you can't make people unblock you

Pages would probably have some claim over the social media trade. The Technician moonlights as a white hat hacker undermining Pages' censorship attempts

Works closely with Fires, considering Fires probably jumps on owning technology as it advances (electricity, invention are under its domain). Fires thinks the Technician is its best ally because the Technician stands there listening to it rant (as an IT person, they are blessed with godlike patience). The Technician couldn't care less.

Replaces Fires' hardware because it melted it for the third time this week after seeing ragebait posts or reading emails from Iron. Also has to deal with Fires demanding the Technician help it install the latest tech updates the moment they drop, even if the Technician can see they won't be good.

Stones is really into mining bitcoin. Our technician doesn't even try touching that

Helps Happles set up a huge PC setup so it has two separate devices/cameras to stream cooking videos as Mr Apples and more scandalous material as Mr Hearts

The technician's favorite master is Iron. It's never demanding, it quickly adjusts to learning how to use technology, and it never gets into trouble with its devices because it's too paranoid to open spam. Iron is happily rolling in a fortune on the metals used in producing computer chips (and intermittently biting Fires over negotiations)

Embattled in a personal, passionate rivalry with the ruthless and skilled "hacker" who tries attacking the Bazaar every seven weeks, DDOS attacks are themed around water imagery, ransomware demands flesh and reckoning (the Technician doesn't have patience for any of this melodrama). The hacker's screen name is allshallbewell.

The Technician sends out PSAs begging people to recognize this and other parabolan hackers' signatures in spam links, which due to the entwining of computing and parabola, can not only brick your device but have dangerous mental consequences

The Bazaar is a messenger so really would be like the source of wifi/central communications network of the Neath, wouldn't she? The Technician gains an intimate knowledge of her from working so closely into her systems. The Penstock of the seventh city.

If our Technician is revolutionary inclined: can they pull off the job of a lifetime? Push a software update through the Bazaar's network that makes her realize she doesn't have to do all this to impress someone who will never love her? Save the Seventh by writing a program that makes the Bazaar love herself?

[aquilacalvitium]

who is this Nate?

Oh.

Oh, buddy.

Oh I get to talk about Natewantstobattle and you will regret this.

So! I'm not a NWTB expert so don't expect a full bulletpoint presentation BUT I can share my experience!

Natewantstobattle is a nerdcore turned original artist who made songs about video games, anime and cartoons for years and only recently (last year I think) decided to leave nerdcore behind and focus entirely on original music.

He's made some BANGER songs, has the voice of an angel and seems to have the same enthusiasm about dark/demonic fictional imagery as myself ^_^

He's made a lot of FNAF songs which is how I found him. His music got him noticed by Random Encounters (RE) who make small-budget indie musicals based on video games and decided to make a five-part special musical based on FNAF for which they reached out to get Nate involved. He appeared and sang as a prominent character in that musical as well as plenty of others that they made. Markiplier was also in that musical.

Nate is popular with a lot of Jacksepticeye and Markiplier fans as his content focuses on similar games, leading to the same people finding him. Because of that, the fans' habit of making characters or "egos" for youtubers from their videos also extended to Nate and honestly while I still listen to his music I haven't been active in the fandom for a while so I have no idea how many egos there are now, but I'm desperate to rejoin the fandom space and catch up!

Anyway, the egos I'm very well aware of are Natemare and Phantom.

Haha yeah, he kidnapped Matpat for that music video.

The video in question is for Mangled, a 2~ minute song based on FNAF 2. The character he portrayed was an instant hit with the fans and was subsequently dubbed "Natemare" as a play on nightmare.

Also in 2018 Nate released a limited edition Natemare shirt thus confirming the name as canon and also I have that shirt so cough cough.

Secondly, Phantom!

MAN I LOVE PHANTOM!

From a music video for a song of the same name.

As far as I'm aware there's practically no canonically confirmed information about him other than he makes deals and steals people's souls. That lead to a lot of fans calling him a demon, including myself.

It took me five years to put together a cosplay for Phantom because I couldn't find one part! You'd think it would be the staff, right? Impossible to find an exact replica, right? No. It was the bloody shirt. I couldn't find a single freaking long sleeve red button up shirt for YEARS. I've got it now, though.

His original albums so far include Sandcastle Kingdoms, Paid in Exposure and To Let Go. That one is actually currently coming out one song at a time on his YouTube channel and music streaming platforms. There's only two songs out at the moment and I think the plan was to release them slowly until they were all released by the time the album itself dropped, but it was announced last month that it's been brought forwards to the 18th! That's in FOUR DAYS!!!! The last song to come out was Forgotten on Tuesday which is the one you saw me blogging about. It slaps so fucking hard you have no idea.

If you want any personal recommendations for his music, my favourites of his original work are Phantom, Forgotten, All I See, Perfect by Design and Branded.

PIf you look up Phantom you may see it titled as a Hazbin Hotel song but actually it came out a good while before Hazbin Hotel did, he just realised how well the character of Phantom matched with Alastor from HH and released a remastered version with some of Alastor's voice lines over it.

My favourites of his nerdcore songs are Mangled, No More, Stay the Course, Time to Move on and Ask for More. That last one is about Food Wars. I don't even watch that show, that's just how good the song is.

Oh! As an addition that I almost forgot to talk about, he's also a voice actor! He's appeared in Attack on Titan, Fairy Tail, he plays the main character in Luck and Logic and has appeared in multiple video games like Dream Daddy, Yandere Simulator and Monster Prom.

[chaos-bites]

⚖️ Subtle Tyr Worship 🛡️

Try to take your promises more seriously; do your best to fulfill them

Own a weapon - be it self-defense or just one you admire

Take a walk/hike in nature; try to challenge yourself with doing a more difficult route (within reason; look after your well-being)

Have a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of him

Keep a picture of him in your wallet

Take a walk alongside a stream

Support causes you believe in; homeless shelters, humanitarian organizations, etc.

Volunteer at a homeless or animal shelter

Practice compassion towards others and yourself

Engage in random acts of kindness; holding the door for someone, offering to help someone carry something, giving to a family in need, etc.

Have a stuffed animal of any creatures you associate with justice, fairness, or courage; have a wolf stuffed animal

Keep imagery of spears/weapons, shields, scales, Viking warriors, promises/others, or self-sacrifice (specifically for the greater good) around

Practice patience and restraint, especially with people who bother/annoy you; you can also practice this towards yourself

Find healthy outlets for your emotions; martial arts, building, crafting, drawing, writing, etc.

Learn about emotional regulation; practice emotional regulation

Try to consider all perspectives in a situation; try to understand things from another's point of view; try not to immediately cast judgement

Practice not engaging in needless gossip; such things can end up being extremely harmful to all parties later on

Learn about healthy conflict resolution skills; try to implement these in your next conflict

Practice becoming more comfortable with the idea of conflict; it is only natural that we sometimes will disagree with people - that is not always a bad thing

Go outside of your comfort zone; challenge yourself by doing things/taking risks that intimidate you (to a reasonable degree)

Do someone else's chores or a task that is tough for them; offer to shovel snow for someone or do some yard work for them

Challenge yourself with some hard work; do something with your hands

Assert your boundaries; discover what your personal boundaries are; not all boundaries need be spoken

Let someone know when they've done something that bothers you; this is a kindness to both of you - a chance for them to learn

Tend to a garden - something that takes hard work or brings you peace

Feed neighborhood cats, dogs, birds, etc.

Donate supplies to homeless or animal shelters; hygiene kits are great for homeless, animal food and treats for animal

Focus on building a foundation of personal strength; know yourself inside and out; don't buy into the dumb things people may say, you know yourself better than others

Listen to your gut; work on trusting yourself

Exercise; get some movement throughout the day

Make something for someone else; make a gift yourself; a drawing/painting, a wood carving, a knitted blanket, a handmade candle, etc.

Check in with your loved ones more often, even just a quick "Hey, how are you" or "I love you"

Bake or cook something for your neighbors; hand them out; cookies, pastries, biscuits, etc.

Restore a vintage item; clean a toy or.important item from your childhood; take good care of your family heirlooms

Engage in family traditions or create your own c:

Get more comfortable with compromises; in disagreements, try to suggest them

If it's not something you're practiced at, learn to agree to disagree; we don't always have to prove our points, and that's ok

After a difficult day, take a warm bath/shower

Try your hand at a new skill or hobby

Support someone through a difficult time; support yourself through a difficult time

Know your limits when helping others; you need not sacrifice yourself for everyone you meet

Treat yourself with the same love and kindness that you treat others with

Make a list of your personal strengths; try to recognize them when they show up - maybe do this on a weekly, bi-weelky, or monthly basis

Surprise a loved one you live with by hanging up affirmational post it notes somewhere they'll see it; you can also do this for yourself

Get more comfortable with the idea that we don't get along with everyone; it's ok if someone doesn't like you

-

This is my list of discreet ways to worship Tyr. I hope someone finds this helpful. I'll likely add more in the future. Take care, everyone! 🧡

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[corn-fanfiction]

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (Pt. 5)

(Pt. 4)

Rated: M

TAGS: language/past abuse/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/sensuality/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a c*p/Terrezanos/dead bodyodyodyody

When Mark comes to collect you, he's in a somewhat nicer suit than usual, but you look drastically different. Yes, you want a nice romantic dinner with this powerful man that keeps you on your toes…but you also want to wear something that will look incredible on a bedroom floor.

His eyes rake over you when he sees your black dress with lace detail, your painted red lips, your legs that seem to go on for miles.

“Ho-ly,” he starts. You shut him up with a tip-toe kiss. His large hands wrap around your waist and he tries to deepen the kiss, but you pull away.

“This is MAC, Hoffman. Don't you dare smudge it.”

“Sweetheart you could put that lipstick all over me and I'd buy you 100 more.”

“Damn you're perfect, huh? Come on. We can ruin my makeup after dinner.”

He hides it pretty well, but you can still see the effect that comment has on him. He grunts inaudibly and his pants definitely tighten. You can picture it, too. On your knees, on the bed (his or yours, doesn't matter), your lipstick is smudged, your eyeliner and mascara streaming down your face. You fight every urge to just drag him back inside and fuck his brains out.

He opens the car door for you and you thank him sweetly. They weren't all bad before Ted, but Mark is different. He's confident, maybe cocky at times, but he's gentle with you and hasn't pushed you too far yet. And he respects you. You don't remember the last time you were respected like this.

“So, where are you taking me?” You ask as you put on your seatbelt. Mark doesn't miss the way the safety fabric cuts between your breasts and he clears his throat.

“Terrezanos.”

You gawk at him. “What? Mark, no, that place is way too expensive.”

“Yeah, well, I'm trying to impress you. Besides, you've always wanted to go there.”

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know?”

“I overheard you telling Gerry one day at the restaurant. If you really don't want to, we can go somewhere else-”

“No!” You laugh. “No, it's just…I don't know. Thanks, Mark.”

He flashes a quick glance between you and the road but when he sees your genuine face, it gives him pause.

“Of course. I want this to be special, you know?”

God, your heart flutters. How do you go from being a horny mess to love-struck in a matter of minutes?

The drive is short and you relish in the comfort of Mark's nice car. Leather seats that are warm, quiet wheels, clean smell. Better than any car you've been in lately. And when you pull up to the restaurant, you're absolutely blown away to see-

“Holy shit, they have valets!”

Mark smirks and parks in front of the restaurant. You unbuckle your seatbelt but Mark puts a hand on your arm to stop you.

“Hold on,” he says, then exits the car. You groan as he comes around to your side.

“Mark! Chivalry isn't dead but I'm starving!”

He opens the door for you and you take the waiting hand that helps you from the car. Mark hands his keys over to the valet with thanks. And as you walk in, a gentle hand hovers over your lower back. You feel like some sort of rich wife walking in for the monthly dinner with her husband.

The sudden and seemingly random imagery shakes you for a moment while Mark talks reservation and walks you to the table. You force yourself to remember that this is good fun. He's nice, he's sexy, he treats you well. You're gonna have a good night- a great night, maybe, as long as you get your head out of your ass.

Expensive wine. It's not your preferred and as soon as Mark sees your soured face that you did your best to hide, he orders a different glass.

You both order steak and you pick at a bread stick during the wait.

“Okay, you know too much about me,” you remark. Mark chuckles. “What about you?”

“Eh, what about me. I live at my job. I don't like running.”

“Family?”

“Mom upstate, dad passed a few years ago. Had a sister, but uh…”

Shit, you're stupid. You're a full fucking idiot. You're just trying to make small talk and here you are forgetting about one of the most tragic things you've ever heard.

“God, I'm so sorry, Mark. I completely forgot. You don't have to say anything else.”

“No, no it's fine. I don't ever really talk about her anymore.”

“Seriously, Mark, I understand.”

“But she deserves better than that. I think you woulda liked each other.”

You watch him for a moment silently, hands folded under your chin. Suddenly, he's disarmed.

“Tell me about her.”

And he does, and he lights up. Angela. Angel on earth. His best friend and only person he ever really trusted. Slaughtered by her ex boyfriend.

You wonder about her. How similar your bones are and the tethers that tie you. You'd seen the crime scene photos on the internet. How similar she looked to the photo on Mark's office shelf. She was the same person, after all.

You laugh through your dinner and start the flirting through dessert. You sigh.

“What's that?”

You shrug with a smile. “Can't decide if I don't want this to ever end or… If I want us to get out of here.”

You slip a foot out of its heel and slide it against his ankle, up his calf, and against his inner thigh. Mark inhales sharply and sets an elbow on the table a little too hard, shaking the glasses.

“You are playing a risky game.”

“Risky? I'm just looking for what was promised me.”

“Promised?”

“I'm collecting.”

“Say less.”

You don't even realize that Mark's going in the direction of his place (or what you assume is his place because it's in the opposite direction). You've got a hand ghosting up his leg and he's giving you the same treatment. If he weren't driving, you'd give him head right here, right now.

You both jump when a crackle comes from his police radio.

“Shit,” he mutters, tuning into the frequency.

“Dispatch, all available units to the factory off third…looks like another one.”

Mark nearly swerves off the road. You pull you hand back as your heart hammers in your chest.

“Jesus. What did he mean?”

Mark stares into the dark ahead, lips parted slightly in some intense thought.

“Another trap,” he breathes. “Fuck. I gotta get there. I'll drop you back at your place-”

“No, it'll be quicker for you to go straight to 3rd. I'll stay in the car. You need to do this, right? Catch this guy?”

Mark is fighting himself. Something within him wins and he nods, puts the car in reverse, and speeds to the factory. It's an old, abandoned place, something to do with manufacturing. But when you arrive, there's already ambulances, cop cars, and people, so many people. Mark practically throws himself out of the car and into the throngs. From your seat, you can barely overhear a conversation.

“You're not supposed to be here-”

“No one gave more to this case than me. Let me through.”

Another car pulls up beside you and two men step out, wearing windbreakers with “FBI” plastered on the back. Shit. Your hand moves instinctively to the handle as though there's anything you can do to help this situation.

You watch as Mark is now in a proper screaming match with someone. They aren't letting him through, and then you see a body being wheeled out on a stretcher. The blanket is pulled up too far. Whoever this poor bastard is, they're dead.

And then you spot the hand. The tattoos on the fingers. The ring you had bought him two Christmases ago.

You have no trouble now leaving the car. You stumble in your heels towards the back of the ambulance. Some notice you and go to grab you away but you avoid them. You only get close enough to confirm your suspicions before Mark has a hold of your wrist, then your arm, then all of you as you realize fully that Ted is on the stretcher before you, dead. A victim to the Jigsaw killer. Bringing you one step closer to a serial killer, and hundreds of miles away from anything ever making sense again.

[great-axepectations]

P!Apo Theorycrafting

So on last night's stream viewers were allowed to ask one question regarding p!apo's lore. My question was "Who is the most important person in his life?" and the answer was a cryptic "a reflection". He also mentioned there's something in his first pirates episode that no one's been talking about. So of course that's been buzzing around in my head all day so here's an attempt to coherently present my thoughts:

Missing Moon God

In the stream where Martyn and Sausage were cursed, one of messages they both received was (verbatim): "The warmth of the Sun and Moon fully vanish from your skin... As if not even the Gods can help you now..." We've seen our beloved admin sun god, a sun god cult, and sun god artifacts and chapels. Where's the moon god? Why was the word 'Gods' plural? And 'sun' and 'moon' both capitalized? If there is no moon god then why mention it? I've seen a bunch of light vs dark dichotomy in pirates lore, with light not necessarily the 'good' side. A bit of a moral gray area if you will, much like pirates themselves.

Spooky lore tweets from the official account say "look to the light in the darkness". The sun is a light in the day. The moon would be a light in the darkness. (Or stars, admittedly. There's a lot of star imagery on pirates.)

What Are Pirates About

There is a small section in the middle of Apo's pirates episode labelled 'What Are Pirates About' with the following dialogue:

Graecie: Listen, I know you're here for for the most glorious battles and stuff Apo: Well yeah, obviously. That's what pirates are supposed to be about, right? At least that's what I was told. Acho: Do you make all your decisions based on what you're told?

Acho's question could be conveyed as "Do you think for yourself? Or are you doing this because someone told you to?" Who told Apo what pirates are about? And why is he so intent on following their expectations? Are his motivations his own, or is he doing things because someone told/expected him to? Acho and Graecie then talk about how being a pirate is about being free to make your own choices. Is that the direction Apo's character growth is going in?

"A Reflection"

So how do these connect? The moon, while bright in the sky, does not technically shine with its own light: it reflects the light from the sun. And maybe it's the terminal brainrot I have from being a fan of the traffic life series and how that exposed me to the sublimely sad music of The Crane Wives, but I can't help but think of the lyrics to The Moon Will Sing:

The moon will sing a song for me I loved you like the sun Bore the shadows that you made With no light of my own I shine only with the light you gave me I shine only with the light you gave me

Now I'm not quite sure what a connection between p!apo and the moon could be (other than the fact that he safely washed up on the faction isles under the light of the moon), but the metaphor still stands. If the most important person in his life is a reflection, is Apo just the mirror? I also joked in the chat that it could be 'a ghost trapped in a mirror', but what if that were true? I haven't seen every stream, but the writings in his book seem to be addressed to a loved one, and I've seen people theorize it's someone who has passed on. Is he trying to preserve that light by reflecting it? And again, where is the moon god?

And knowing that cc!apo has a penchant for creating tragic little characters, is p!apo going to start finally living for himself and then die in a horrible traumatic way that fucks me up for weeks?

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello I was wondering if you’d be able to write a Ranboo x Gender neutral reader that’s struggling with self harm/depression (only if you’re comfortable with writing something like this, I’d not I completely understand) :)

hi!! thank you for the request! ; and I'm totally okay with writing this, considering I'm fully healed from my very depressive middle school state and the only things bothering me haven't hurt me that much in a long time 🫶 I hope that you're doing okay anon 🫶🫶🫶

RANBOO ; it's okay to not be okay

summary ; ranboo does his best to help you while you struggle with depression

warnings ; language, talk of self harm & depression, talk about relapsing, mentions of ED

genre ; angst/fluff

word count ; 627

masterlist

he'd known for a while that you were struggling and even suggested taking a break/breaking up if you needed it as to not overwhelm you with managing a relationship

obviously you didn't want too

but that came with a negotiation that he was going to genuinely help you no matter what

literally came over after a stream, like 9pmish and went straight to your bathroom

they got a little trash bag and threw out all the razor blades in your house, like looked everywhere, tore the whole place up to even get secret stashes

you followed and watched them do this, fearing they'd yell at you afterwards because they were totally silent while doing so

they also stashed the knives in a drawer with a child lock which you genuinely couldn't open, using the smart logic to use a butter knife if you needed to cut something up

if you were making food and needed to cut up meat, call him and he'd open it for you, considering you lived like 5 minutes away from each other

after he threw all the razors and pencil sharpeners and anything you didn't need that could hurt you away, he sits you down on the couch

you have a long talk about how you need to stop hurting yourself and you talk about safe self harm

from coloring on your body, listening to music really loudly, experiment with guided imagery, holding ice, punching a pillow/cushion instead of yourself, eating sour/spicy candy, etc

they're just trying to give you safe alternatives to substitute the actual harming tactics because they know you won't be able to quit immediately

every week you have a long talk about your feelings, how you're doing, etc so ranboo can determine how to help you/get an idea of how you've been doing

you talk to him frequently that you're worried about relapsing and hurting yourself somehow, from cutting to slapping or punching yourself

if you run to him thinking you're gonna hurt yourself, he wraps you in a hug and doesn't let you go until you feel more calm

frequently sends you texts to uplift you a bit and make you smile

sometimes you'll just have tight hugs on the couch where he just talks to you to get your mind off of everything and make you a little happy and joke around

usually takes you on long walks to clear your head if you express being stressed or very upset about something

he gets you on a nice healthy diet and helps you not under/overeat and possibly give yourself an ed

also helps you get into a routine to feel more clean and organized

refers you to therapy and towards yoga/working out

they'll happily do yoga or work out with you, 100%

anytime you smile, he just looks at you with like love in his eyes because he's clearly doing something right

loves taking you out into nature to listen to the birds singing and smell the fresh air, he can tell it does wonders for you

loves bird watching with you too

he'll find a show with like 7+ seasons for you to watch together so you can get interested/fixated on something and think about that more then your fear of hurting yourself or relapsing

in general they'll do whatever it is to help you cope, knowing they can't magically make you feel any better

so supportive as well

when you reach sobriety milestones (a month, two months, three months, six months, a year etc) he throws a little party

over time all your friends get more and more proud of you and show that well

ran however is definitely the most proud, seeing as you'd found a way to overcome the pain that tormented you

[tedners]

immediately throwing some of my underworld saga thoughts here

spoilers ahead!!

ok first of all: absolutely incredible. putting that out there first. i love this musical so much. jorge and everyone involved have done and continue to do fantastic work and it really shows.

i love how jorge brings back earlier parts of songs into later ones: both music and lyrics. it brings me so much excitement to see the connections.

now onto the songs:

song one: (the underworld)

the atmosphere is intimidating; you can feel the fear the characters are feeling. and when the souls of his men arrive: the vocals oh my god, i love them. and the imagery of them in the sky above him, watching him. and the infant from the first saga mention. the way the dead characters come back in this song is so heartbreaking but it’s amazing. hearing a polite’s reprise of open arms hurt so much oh my god. (jorge literally mouthed “i’m sorry” during this part in the livestream) oh and odysseus’ mom coming in too?? heart broken again. (also finding out jorge’s mom voiced her, awwww)

also i’d just like to add this comment jorge made during the live stream: no i’m not ok, it actually made me cry lol

song two: (no longer you)

this song is so poetic and i love it so much. of course there’s foreshadowing in this song cause he’s literally a prophet but the way it’s done here is so amazing. i love all the instrumentals in every song but the ending one for this song is so amazing oh my god.

song three: (monster)

dude the character development and change during this song: chef’s kiss. him mentioning the past antagonists of the earlier sagas and then comparing himself to them. him giving up all his morals so they can get home; so he can see his wife and son again.

“what if the greatest threat we’ll find across the sea… is me?” what a great line oh my god.

ooh and ending the saga with “i’ll become the monster.” i love it.

conclusion:

i love this musical so much. the music, lyrics, art, everything, like in every saga, is absolutely beautiful. just incredible.

ok thanks for reading 💛

[nerdieforpedro]

12/10/2023 - Weekend Update

Nerdie! Look at you staying on a schedule.

I know! Being half-way organized. It's kinda nice.

We'd never thought we'd see the day. So what's new?

I made some fic posts this week:

Sard'ika Sessions - Session Two (Din Djarin x plus size female reader)

Christmas List (Robbie Reyes x reader)

The Brave, The Bold, The Dirty - Fanfics that I adore (Volume 3)

A New Tradition with Frankie (Frankie Morales x GN reader)

We also spread positivity though everyone's ask boxes and exchanged lovely messages with each other and loved on each other.

Read anything this week?

I did. A large portion of it is in my Fanfic appreciation post volume 3 which the link is above. I also started a volume 4 because I love highlighting different author's works that I've enjoyed. 😀

I'm just going to pick my top three for the week:

Don't Drink the Punch by @wildemaven (Soft Dave and female reader. I'm a fan of soft Dave. He can be soft and sweet. He and the reader are married and they're at a work event. It's lovely.)

Exposed by @maggiemayhemnj (Ezra and female reader. Turns out this is her first fic. I was flabbergasted. The Imagery, word flow and cadence are all from someone who's pen name is one word, like Cher or Homer or Ms. PayDay.)

Insatiable by @pedge-page (Frankie Morales and female reader. Part three of their three part emotional sexual odyssey with Frankie and the female reader. There's big feelings and lots of smut abound. But there is a sweet end to it.)

What happened outside of fanfics this week?

I was sick most of the week. I ended up in the ED at work and was out for the week. Thankfully I'm on the mend and should be ready this upcoming week for work and beyond! I caught up on different FBI shows, watched Loki with my mom (she wonders if he's going to be at a convention - I'm hoping not so she won't bum rush the man,) and bought a book on flowers. I've also been starting back up on learning Spanish again.

What's coming up this week?

I'm working on another Robbie Reyes fic - likely to be a one shot but dark because the Rider is dark. Gabriel Luna had a birthday this past week, @musings-of-a-rose sent me all the pictures so this is where we are in life right now. All Luna’ed down and what not.

I'm gonna try for some more fluff, maybe with Dieter, Frankie or Benny. Not sure who. We'll see.

I could, possibly, be working on one of my other series that I started and dropped like a hot potato. Maybe they'll have new chapters. People were reading them, which was the weirdest thing.

Session Three of Sard'ika Sessions will be up on Wednesday. The Way is paved with Space Smut according to the Maker. 🫡 We'll be at the mid-point so we're in for a shift, but no worries. Session four, five and six took up a lot of pages in my notebook and it was all outlined with a lot of things. Maybe some more improper beskar use? Might need to touch base with The Armorer on that. 👀 Didn't know that was included in the ancient ways either.

Nerdie, don't be messing with The Creed like that.

To be fair, I did mention in Session one that there would be liberties taken with both The Creed and The Way so the latter sessions are where more of those liberties are taken. Maybe a lot, maybe a little. You'll have to read and see. Different Mandalorians see The Creed differently, why can’t I?

I am curious about what liberties my Space Sister @linzels-blog would make with The Creed. 🤔

Wait, why is it weird that people were reading your other series?

Since I haven't updated them for months, I didn't expect them to get any comments, then they did. It was very sweet and got me thinking, maybe I should finish that at some point, or at least add to it. I'm trying to focus on one at a time. Can't be crossing streams.

We get it, but that joke though? Could have done without that. Any last thoughts?

I need to work more on the pickled Peña project. Haven't finished that yet. Stay safe and hydrated. There are nasty bugs that are wreaking havoc on people's noses and sinuses. We’re very happy that @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @for-a-longlongtime have lived to tell their stories.

Also check your knives and watch your tips. I guess you can palm the tips or take them and do whatever as long as you're safe about it.

Nerdie, what are you talking about...? Do we want to know?

If you know, you know and if you don't, find some hot tips. 😘

Stay safe and don't get any in your eye,

Love Nerdie 💜

(escapes to a certain moodboard 🍆)

Nerdie! You can't just say that and leave! 😠

[icarusignite]

The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you

Alfred the great x POC! Fem! Reader

Word Count: 3k (angst/hurt-no comfort, yearning, religious imagery, blasphemy)

Dedicated to @justasightseer , sry this took me so long yet again lol

A/N: lol lowkey hurt myself writing this. So technically this is now complete, but if yall want another part, lemme know (fair warning though, them reconciling wouldn't be a very realistic ending but i am happy to write us a delulu happy ending where he proposes to reader lol). Also plz someone tell me you liked the religious imagery. I went a little nuts writing it <33

Part 1

"Perhaps it was sacrilegious, but what was a little blasphemy in the face of something this holy."

"Good morning, Your Majesty. And how are we feeling today?"

As the soft, early morning light streamed into the library, a sense of tranquillity hung in the air. With your trusty satchel slung over your shoulder, you approached the king for his daily check-up, giving him one of your best smiles. Although, if he was being honest with himself, all the smiles you gave him were your best. The veil that draped over your shoulders today was a vibrant green, and it reminded Alfred of early spring. 

"I'm much better these days," the Saxon king grinned at you, feeling almost boyish. It was the highlight of his days, these mornings spent with you tending to him. "It's all due to your hard work and dedication," he added. 

You inclined your head, acknowledging the king's words with humility, sporting slightly red cheeks at his compliment.  

"It is my utmost pleasure and honour to be of service to you, Your Grace. Your health is of paramount importance."

As you approached the king, who was seated comfortably on the divan that had been brought in for him, your nimble fingers deftly unfastened your satchel's clasps, revealing the carefully prepared herbs that had been instrumental in King Alfred's recovery. With meticulous care, you began to administer the prescribed treatment, all the while keeping a gentle conversation that offered solace and companionship.

"Excuse me then, Your Majesty. I need to take your pulse."

When you reached out to put your fingers around his slender wrist, Alfred froze, heart thundering in his chest at the touch. His breath hitched when you stepped a little closer, a faint floral scent enveloping him. By God, you smelled like spring too. Alfred closed his eyes.

You completed your assessment quickly and pulled back with a sheepish smile, mumbling a quiet apology for invading his personal space, but the King paid it no mind. In fact, his fingertips brushed against the sleeves of your dress, fighting the urge to pull you into him. 

The King was in love. There was no doubt about it. He had suspected it yes, back when he watched you sleep right here in this library, but the feeling had only solidified as time passed. It had been a while since he felt like this. He didn't even think he was capable of loving again, not after the death of his beloved Aelswith. He was somewhat ashamed to admit that yes, he had been with quite a few women after that, but there were no feelings involved. It was simply temptation, a weakness of the flesh. 

"It is good to see you doing better, Your Highness. Now that I have shown your healers the English substitutions of many of the herbs I use, they will be able to brew you these tonics even after I am gone. You will be in good hands."

Alfred looked up at her in alarm, snapped out of his internal reverie. You would be leaving? Why didn't he think of that? Of course, you would be leaving. Wessex was not your home. You likely had a family, someone you cherished back home. You had to leave one day, but the thought of not having you in his life sent an aching jolt through his heart. The feeling was so visceral, so real that he closed his eyes and winced. 

You gasped and rushed to his side, fingers splayed on his arm as you murmured your concerns frantically. Alfred finally opened his eyes to look at you, a little taken aback at your proximity. if he leaned forward just a few inches, he could kiss you. He could kiss that damned frown off your face. Instead, with great restraint, he nodded. 

"I am perfectly alright. Just a spell of unpleasantness," he waved his hand dismissively. 

You reluctantly pulled back, "Are you sure, Your Grace? I-I wasn't expecting such a reaction. The medication I gave you is not meant to have such side effects. Perhaps I might reevaluate your treatment plan again?"

"No!" the king blurted. "It has nothing to do with that I am sure."

How was he to tell you that you were the cause of his pain? You were both his downfall and his salvation, both poison and cure. 

"Are you sure, You-"

"Stop!" the King snapped. 

You blinked, a flash of hurt flashing across your eyes. 

"No, no, I did not mean..." Alfred sighed and ran a hand down his face. "I am sorry. I did not mean to speak that way to you."

"It is quite alright, Your Majesty. You may speak however you wish."

You bowed your head, not quite meeting his eyes. How presumptuous of you, to imagine that you and the king could be friends. He was still the king, and you were just...you. It was audacious of you to even feel offended at his tone. He was free to treat you as he pleased and you swallowed the tears that you felt bubbling in your throat. It was foolish. A mere traveller and the king. There was no room for anything else between the two of you. It was foolish to even feel this way. It was foolish the way your heart raced every time you saw him and the way you looked forward to your daily conversations. It was foolish that your heart had begun to yearn for something that could never be yours. 

As if sensing your internal anguish, Alfred finally gave in to temptation and wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling you down to sit next to him. You comply, too immersed in your thoughts to realize that you were practically seated on his lap now. 

"I am truly sorry, you know," Alfred whispered. "It's just that...I was wondering if I might ask you for a favour?"

Slowly, you looked up at him, into his striking eyes and for a moment you couldn't speak. 

Alfred couldn't help the smirk that twitched at his lips at your speechlessness. 

"Do not worry, it is not something you are not capable of giving me."

"I-Alright, Your Grace. If it is within my power, then who would I be to deny you."

"See. That right there. I want you to call me Alfred. No more Your Grace this, Your Majesty that. Just Alfred."

"I could never, Your Gr-"

"Please..." the king's voice was ragged. 

"But-"

"Please," he said again, softer. 

A prayer. A plea. 

"But you are the king," you protested. 

"It is a heavy mantle to bear. I am always the king. But sometimes, I would just like to be Alfred, the man. So, at least while we are alone, I would like to be referred to as...just Alfred."

Your eyes softened at the desperation in his voice and you graced him with one of your radiant smiles. God, you were dazzling. 

"Very well then, just Alfred," you teased. "If you promise I won't be beheaded for it..."

Then you realized that you were still seated in his lap and a fierce crimson blush spread up from your neck to your cheeks. You hurriedly moved to stand but the king wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you back down. You gasped in surprise, your hands coming up to rest on his shoulders for support. 

You just stared at him, eyes wide, equal parts terror and anticipation. You were on his lap. You were face to face with the fucking king of Wessex and yet all you wanted to do was press your lips to his. You must be utterly insane. 

Lucky for you, Alfred was just as insane.

"Are you married?"

A startled laugh broke free from your chest as you wrinkled your brows in confusion, "What?"

"Are. You. Married?" the king enunciated slowly, eyes drilling into yours with a ferocious intensity. "Or Betrothed. Or whatever... are you a woman spoken for?"

"What? Absolutely not! Why would I be-"

There would be time later for Alfred to rejoice about the fact that you were not, or for him to wonder how someone as breathtaking as you wasn't. For now, there was just you, and him and the searing heat of your hands pressed you into his shoulders. He lifted his hand gingerly, his movements painstakingly slow, allowing you plenty of time to pull away, to push him, to run. 

When you didn't, he let his fingertips trail up your jaw to cup your face. You stilled, your breath catching in your throat. You couldn't breathe. When he brushed his thumb across your cheekbone, you just about passed out. 

"Is this alright?"

You didn't say anything. You couldn't say anything. The words were stuck in your throat. 

"Say something..." Alfred's voice was low and raw. He was scared. Scared he had offended you. Scared he had pushed you away forever. 

"It-it's more than alright," you finally choked out. 

That was all he needed, and perhaps that was all you needed too, because it wasn't clear who made the next move. There was just a breath of silence, and stillness before the two of you were crashing into each other. Drowning. 

 Alfred kissed like he prayed. With a devotion so dedicated that it left you breathless. His lips moulded into yours and you sighed against him, your arms going to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. 

"Please."

A prayer. A plea. A call to the divine. 

Alfred's eyes were closed. He was drowning. He was drowning and you were the breath in his lungs. You were proof that God existed because who else could have created a creature of such perfection? You were the heavens brought to Earth and Alfred would spend the rest of his days on his knees, thankful to have gotten a taste of your sacred lips. 

Perhaps it was sacrilegious, the thoughts he had about you now, but what was a little blasphemy in the face of something this holy. 

A sudden knock on the door sent you jumping from your seat, pupils blown wide, and chest heaving, and Beocca's probing voice for his king, sent you skittering across the room. When the old priest entered the library, you were out of sight behind some shelf, pretending to be engrossed in one of the manuscripts should someone spot you. 

"Ah, there you are Your Grace," Beocca smiled as he approached the king with a nod. "And how are your treatments going?"

Beocca's smile faded when he saw the glazed look in Alfred's eyes. It was only there a moment before the king quickly schooled his face into a scowl, but the old priest had sharp eyes. 

"Pardon the interruption, then, Your Grace," Beocca sighed. "Were you with one of your...women then? You are being careful I hope. Edward is nearly of age, and we have no time to be dealing with another...situation...that would rival his claim."

"You speak out of turn, Beocca!" Alfred snapped. "How I conduct myself in my private affairs is none of your concern."

"Of course, my King, I come from a place of concern...there are rumours."

"What rumours?"

Beocca hesitated, "Nothing too serious."

"When I ask a question, I expect it to be answered clearly, Beocca."

"It...it's your foreign healer, my King. Some of the ealdormen feel as though you have been spending too much of your time with her. They feel as though your efforts might be better suited to finding an appropriate bride."

"They want me to find a wife?" there was a dangerous glint in Alfred's eyes and the old priest knew he had to tread lightly. 

"I am sure it is just so that they can present their own daughters as candidates. I am just informing you, Your Majesty, so that you proceed with caution. There are many who seek to bring about your downfall and they are not above over scrutinizing every action."

Alfred sighed, heart sinking. He was fully aware of your presence in the room and he was not pathetically optimistic enough to hope that you hadn't overheard this conversation. He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation and sighed. 

"If that will be all, then leave me be, Beocca. I shall...take your words into consideration."

"If I may, Your Grace..." the priest hesitated. 

"Go on then, you always do."

"While I have greatly appreciated the lady's presence here at court, and it is truly joyous to see you in good health again, perhaps it is time for her to return home. She has taught us much and I believe our healers here in Wessex will be able to properly administer her treatments to you now."

"Leave Beocca."

"Yes, Your Grace."

As the door closed softly behind the priest, there was a stifling silence in the room. 

"You may come out now," Alfred muttered dejectedly. "I...I am sorry you had to hear that."

Your hurried form rushed out from the back corner of the library, making a feeling for the door. The king, in his panic, stood immediately, reaching to grab your elbow before you could leave. You pulled away from his touch as if it burned. His heart plummeted. 

"Apologies, Your Majesty. I must be taking my leave now," you bobbed your head in a bow, a curtain of your hair escaping the confines of your undone veil and falling over your face, obscuring your expression from him. 

So you were back on formal terms then. The Your Majesty grated on his nerves and he stepped forward to grab your wrist again, pulling you closer. Then, he pressed his fingertips against your chin, urging you to lift your head. 

What he saw when you did broke his heart. 

Tears streamed down your face. You had your lips pressed tightly into a thin line and your fingers clenched into fists. When you caught the expression on Alfred's face, you ducked your head and moved to pull away again.

"Wait, don't go, please..." 

The desperation in his voice might have moved you, if you weren't so incredibly consumed by the weight of your own self-loathing. You felt so utterly pathetic. He was a king, and you were nothing. What did you even expect? He had had other women clearly, judging by the words his priest spoke to him just moments ago. You would be nothing more than another notch in his bedpost if you allowed this to continue any further. Already you had debased yourself. You could not bear to lose any more dignity. 

With great difficulty, you freed yourself from his grip. 

"Will you at least let me explain," he called out after you. 

A strangled laugh burst out of you, fresh tears charting their course down your flushed cheeks. With a sudden surge of recklessness, you turned back toward him. 

"Explain what? You don't have to explain anything to a mere foreigner such as myself, Your Majesty. And Beocca was correct. I do think I have overstayed my welcome here in Wessex. I will leave detailed notes on your treatments with your healers and take the next ship back to Baghdad. Rest assured I will leave you in good hands."

Alfred shook his head frantically, "I do not want to be left in good hands. I want..."

"What? What is it that you want?" you scoffed. "What is it you want that you do not already have?"

You. I want you. For the longest time, all I have wanted was you. 

"I want you to stay," was all he said. 

Perhaps it was not quite what he had wanted to convey but it was the closest thing that he could push past his lips at the moment. 

"It appears you are the only one then. It is clear to me that I am of no more use here."

"I want you!" the king blurted. 

Then you really scoffed, your eyes sharp and angry. 

"How will you have me then, Alfred? In secluded corners, under the cover of darkness?" you spat, your voice venomous, but your stricken eyes and tear-stained face betrayed your pain. "I will not be your whore. I will not be your mistress. I deserve better than that!"

Alfred inhaled sharply. You had said his name. It was lovely. You had said his name and the syllables were right at home on your lips, just as he was too. The circumstances were all wrong but he could not help but marvel at it all the same. 

"You cannot deny it, can you? You have nothing else to give me!"

"But I-"

"Don't say it," you pleaded. 

Perhaps the king should have listened to you. 

"I-I care for you."

"That is irrelevant!"

"I have come to love you!"

"That is not enough!" you exclaimed. 

Alfred stepped forward, taking your hands in his. You let him. 

"What will be then?" he asked, urgency laced in every syllable. 

"Nothing," you sobbed. "I will not be your plaything, and you will not marry me. This is how it must be."

"I could-"

"Don't! You. Will. Not. Marry. Me. Your people would never accept a foreign queen, much less one who isn't Catholic."

"Is that what you want then? To be Queen?"

"What I want is to be respected. To have my honour, my dignity. I will not have that taken from me."

Alfred pressed a reverent kiss to the backs of your hands, "You will have it. You will be respected."

"Not as your whore. Not as the woman their king beds while his people pressure him to find a lawful wife."

"Please."

There it was again. A prayer and a plea. 

"You can't say it, can you? You can't say that you will marry me because you know it's impossible."

A single tear escaped the king's eye, streaking down his face. You were already insane you thought. What was a little more insanity? You reached up and brushed the stray thing from his cheeks. He stiffened at your touch, closing his eyes and leaning into it. 

Then you pulled away and he was left missing your warmth. When you walked out the door, he did not stop you. He did not stop you to tell you that you were already the queen of his heart and that anything else was a mere triviality he could deal with. 

Alfred, king of Wessex had a duty. A duty to his kingdom, a duty to the future of Christianity and a united England. A duty to his children, and his people. Alfred, the king, was revered, respected, and had a reputation to uphold. 

However, all Alfred, the man, could think about was the feeling of your lips against his and the broken betrayed way you looked at him when he told you he loved you. Alfred, the man, was only human and there was no desire more human than the one to love and be loved in return. Not revered, not worshipped, just loved. 

[lord-shitbox]

more aisposting [demo spoilers]

while he's VERY open about a lot of things (about the seaspring & himself—things related to the groupmind & Ocudeus, "i was lonely," "people get honest when they're afraid" + "I'll buy you a drink for scaring you") he is very emotionally distant/closed off ("i only have one friend" reports man surrounded by people who are friendly with him & hang out with him + "don't worry, you'll never have to talk about your feelings" uquiz result description).

In regards to him & Vere, he and Vere are close and he likes Vere ("friends with benefits, but got too attached") but doesn't trust him emotionally (see above "only one friend"). In contrast, Ais is "the only person Vere's shown his true face to"— meaning Vere trusts him highly. given this I would love to explore how their relationship could develop, in both good & bad ways.

here's where i devolve into a stream of thoughts:

•"dislikes: isolation" & gets lonely easily -> why he's got so many pets -> also BUDDY IT'S YOUR ATTACHMENT ISSUES

•something about Mr Thing-With-Loneliness being the local Groupmind Guy. "One big happy family all in your head" hmm

•something about Mr Thing with Loneliness and eye imagery. his pact buddy is EyeGod ON PURPOSE...... connection vs perceiving /being perceived... hmm.

•also minor sidenote hes got "only One Friend in his head" (he is not a part of the Big Happy Family groupmind & retains his individuality)..... i think abt his relation to the groupmind itself a lot. They seem to be aware of his location at any given time, but don't know very much about him? ("ais is a gang leader" says groupmind lady on the stairs VS "gang took a walk" quoth mr all alone now....)

•I personally feel that in that situation he's referring to his old gang —the one that is no longer with him— because his expression when he delivers the line is a fake smile. it appears cordial and masks discomfort or discontent, & i think whatever happened in his past is a loaded subject for him

•@ the bar scene he says "he got lonely" so he went to hang out with Vere and Leander specifically.. theyre his (relatively speaking.) best buds

•he enjoys Kuras's company but doesn't go to hang out with him when he's lonely, because he's aware of Kuras's emotional distancing methods (kuras also doesn't drink, which i think could be related to him potentially not needing food or drink / just not liking alcohol / refraining from drunken social activities)

•in my brain he's such a dog boy. relevant character traits i see in him as a result include loyalty (i feel that, whatever happened with his Old Gang, he didn't just up and leave them) and liking biting. thanks

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Good Omens 2 Episode 1: what’s in a name

So I have just watched the first episode of season 2 of Good Omens, and I am going to write this post instead of watching the next episode right away for two reasons: one, watching tv for too long gives me a headache, and second, I refuse to let the streaming companies’ obsession with dropping entire seasons at once stop me from enjoying the journey, and enjoying the journey for me means stopping to think and write about things.

So this is my reaction to episode 1 of Good Omens season 2. Spoilers, duh.

The fil rouge that runs through the episode is the theme of names. We have Aziraphale who introduces himself by name in the flashback to Crowley, who does not reciprocate that kind of introduction, which paints a picture of where they stand in relation to each other, i.e. not exactly on the same page.

And then we have Maggie, who makes a gift to Nina based on her name (the Nina Simone record), but Nina cannot play it, which represents how they cannot be on the same page at all due to circumstances.

Of course we have James long for Jim short for Gabriel. And then we have Muriel, who is asked her identity so she has to say her name but also insists she’s nobody. Also, in the first scene with Michael and Uriel, Michael states their names out loud, which emphasizes how their identity is tied to their name, which highlights how Gabriel not remembering his name and then being forbidden from using it is an encapsulation of his struggle with identity. (There’s also the clothes - being naked is as far as you can get from the normal condition of angels with their pristine outfits, but that’s quite an obvious imagery trope.)

So this is an episode that deals with identity and how it relates to interpersonal relationships.

The first scene is absolutely lovely. They are immediately comfortable with each other - Crowley feels free to act nerdy, Aziraphale, despite his fear of saying anything “inappropriate” at all, expresses his concerns regarding Crowley’s attitude. But they’re not quite on the same page, due to their differences in personality. Crowley is nerding out about the nebula and doesn’t quite get that Aziraphale is trying to connect in a different way (exchanging names). So Aziraphale feels that Crowley doesn’t care about him, but then Crowley shields Aziraphale with his wing. Crowley is not the kind of person who likes to use words to express emotional matters, Aziraphale is (thus how he makes Crowley speak his apology out loud, complete with dance). Crowley’s love language is actions, not words, more specifically actions to protect Aziraphale.

An additional difference between them that is highlighted in the scene is how Aziraphale cares primarily about people, while Crowley cares primarily about nature (stars, ducks). Crowley is interested in the universe as a whole, and doesn’t have much affection for people in general. Aziraphale loves people. And that’s why one stayed up and the other went down, of course.

And of course the difference between their priorities is the source of their conflict in this episode, as Aziraphale sees a vulnerable angel (something he can relate to very much) and automatically decides to help him, but Crowley’s priority is Aziraphale’s safety.

Nina and Maggie are wonderful mirrors for our main characters, although way behind on the relationship process than Crowley and Aziraphale are. Nina needs to keep Maggie at a distance, due to her being already involved with another person and thus being unable to let herself connect with Maggie. Nina is perfectly capable of being affable and sweet, as shown with Aziraphale, so her curtness with Maggie can only be explained by the fact that she finds Maggie cute, and that’s why she cannot let herself get close to her, so she does her best to put up a wall between them.

Basically, Nina doesn’t have the player to play the record on - she does not have the circumstances to metaphorically let herself listen to Maggie’s music.

On the other side, Aziraphale has a record player, and has started listening to his beloved music, but Gabriel’s arrival interrupts him, just like Gabriel’s arrival creates a conflict between him and Crowley.

(The records are gay love, yeah.)

Crowley’s anger, though, forces Maggie and Nina to connect a little more - I would say something about anger not being a primary emotion, but stemming from love, but we were all here for Supernatural meta first, so it’s way redundant.

Speaking of Crowley being, um, smoking, let’s change the topic to fire/heat and light.

At the beginning, Crowley is trying to make a nebula happen, but forgets the first step i.e. “let there be light”, and Aziraphale helps him remember to do it.

Then there’s the empty box of match sticks in heaven. Out of place, because there should not be any material object in heaven. I’d say it represents a source of light and heat, but it’s empty, so it is and is not at the same time.

Conversely, Gabriel is naked and cold but then Aziraphale gets him a blanket and hot chocolate and he stops being cold. Not quite fire/light, but still warmth. So, again, heaven is coldness (but not quite in the right conditions to change, thus the match stick box being empty) and earth is warmth. (Hell is coldness too, of course, with its damp, dark spaces and ineffective neon lights.)

Then we have Crowley’s lightning and smoke, which makes the electricity (light) go off in the coffee shop, but then Crowley comes back and fixes it.

(A note: the box with the arrows pointing up - clearly representing “up up” is empty. Boxes are empty, heaven is empty, Gabriel is naked. Something something metaphor.)

Cinematographically speaking, the episode all revolves around sources of light, like the sun (I love what they did with the lighting when Gabriel gets to the bookshop). In case you missed it, in the flashback scene Crowley protects Aziraphale from being hit by the sun, which bounces off Crowley’s wing:

And then, insert something about lamps here that traumatizes Destiel people.

In fact there’s the quote on the match stick box:

[ID: partial screenshot showing the quote “Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out - Job 41:19”.]

I’m sure the exploration of this theme is just the beginning.

I guess these are the things that stood out to me during my watch. I’ll conclude this post with a final consideration: this is it! Now we’re talking - it’s a queer comedy! It sets itself absolutely as a queer comedy. It goes straight to the point. It’s no longer a comedy with a queer overtone. It’s a queer comedy. I love it. I can’t wait to watch the rest. But still one episode at a time.

[mrs-monaghan]

i do actually have massive issues with the tone of this post [mrs-monaghan/720032101019353088/taekook-always-lead-in-fancam-views-because-their] minimising jungkook’s achievements (and tae’s for that matter but you can’t talk about him here unless to hate on him otherwise you’re accused to be a tkker). explain to me why it’s so important that jimin’s songs do better than jungkook’s? why is it not relevant when jungkook’s fancam is the most watched on tiktok but like crazy catching up to dreamers is so important? why were all jkkers actively tweeting about jimin surpassing jk’s record to 1b streams? never jk surpassing jimin in anything? jk’s achievements are never discussed by jkkers yet you defend jimin like your life depended on it. show me the last time you praised jk that wasn’t for his dick or what you think he does to jimin. jkkers never talk about jk as an individual without it relating to jimin yet jimin is praised on the daily like it’s your job.

Your main issue about me being a Jikooker and seeing JK as a shipping tool 👇🏽

I made my stand clear on this issue here

Here i once again praise both men because I support both and said JK will indeed break Jimin's records

I can't shut up about JK breaking Jimin's records

And lastly I dare you to tell me that this here isn't me being on JK's corner.

Your other issue about Jikookers and I talking about Jimin surpassing JK. Because he has??? And we are only talking about the records Jimin is breaking Because currently he's the only one between them breaking records?? He's the only one between them who's dropped an album so we are keeping up with FACE and it's achievements. When JJK1 drops and me and other Jikookers aren't praising him and talking about his achievements then by all means go off. But as it stands JK hasn't done anything. There is no album to talk about. Left and Right is making noise sure but anything it wins goes to Charlie poop. I want JK's own music where he gets the awards, he gets the credit.

Whatever you have seen on tumblr or on twitter is not my problem. I am not ALL Jikookers. I am Shaz. And me as Shaz love BOTH Jimin and JK. I root for both Jimin and JK. I can praise JK's dick and still praise his achievements. Those two are not mutually exclusive. I resent this accusation and honestly fuck you with a cactus.

And fuck you for having an issue with us defending Jimin like our lives depend on it. He's the one who's always gotten fucked over my the company not JK. What is there to defend JK on when he gets the royal treatment while Jimin doesn't? Even today with their individual fancams coincidentally Jimin's own is the only one that only had a link. All the other 6 had their photos. This can affect views because the human brain is attracted to imagery more than just words. They only just fixed it like 2 hours ago. This is something so trivial and normally no one would give a shit. But when this shit keeps happening to Jimin over and over people can get triggered over the smallest shit. Thus why PJMs made a big deal over a simple cake. A cake that Jimin wouldn't have eaten anyway coz of his diet but why can't he get what others got?? Even after he achieved something that hasn't been achieved since the 1960s?? He wasn't just the first Korean but the first Asian to get a number 1 on BB hot 100 since the 60s and what did BH do for him to celebrate this? Fuck all. And u wanna be mad at us for defending him like our lives depend on it.

Maybe there are Jikookers out there who don't see JK as anything more than Jimin's lover. But that aint me. But yes, you will find more shipping posts on my blog than achievement posts because that's what this is. A shipping blog. I am here for Jikook's relationship so yes, its what I will talk about the most. I also talk about the Jungkonda alot because yes, man has a big dick and I wanna talk about it. And so what if it's more interesting to me?

And incase you hadn't noticed I answer asks. I don't make my own posts.

You wanna see JK math then go follow JK data accounts that only post about his music and achievements. I will mention these things occasionally but I'm primarily here for the Jikook relationship. I'm sorry if you misunderstood but I hope that's clear now. That also goes for Jimin. I definitely talk more about his relationship than I do his achievements. Why aren't you mad about that??

Just say you're a JK solo and go.