#also THE FACT SHE WAS THERE WAITING BEHIND THE DOOR FOR ALEKS TO LEAVE

[starsspin-a]

endless edits of baghra.morozova { mutuals may reblog }

[girlmaster132]

(Yan)Childe x Reader: Remember Me?

This is like my first in this app please bare with me lmao.

Rated: Mature Words: 3.1k Warning: Kidnapping, Name Calling, Bullying.

Second-Person POV:

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You wince as you pick up the burnt food on the ground. You accidentally poured in too much oil and you threw the fish away. This was a simple Grilled-Tiger Fish yet you can't even do it. How clumsy are you? You picked up the failed meal and threw it in the trash. You sigh as you shook your head and went to the table to eat one of the fruits on the table.

    You moved to the window and opened it. The sun shined bright, the sounds of people enticing customers to their stalls can be heard up to your house. Liyue Harbor is such a calm and relaxing place. Well, as long as you don't evade tax that is.

    It's been years since you've lived in Liyue, in contrast to most people here who have a specialty in cooking. You only ever bought food here. You took a bite into the apple and got ready for the day.

    You leave your house and walk down the stairs. Opening the door you're met with the friendly people of Liyue.

    "Goodmorning Y/N off to work?" You turn around and see Ganyu walking towards you.

    "Yes Ms. Ganyu, it's the last day before a week's break. I decided to get there earlier so I can get all my work done. I hate going on the weekends. Also, it's rare to see you out of your workplace, what brings you here?" You say. Ganyu giggles and pats you on the back.

    "Well, I have some important business to do. Don't waste time and off to work you go! Can't miss any seconds, time is gold!"

    You smile at Ganyu and continue your stroll to the outskirts of Liyue. You pass children playing with their kites, tag, and some even roleplayed as the Millelith. The vendors yell as they advertise their product in any way they can. You reached the bridge and continued your way to the statue of the seven.

    You bow down to the statue of Rex Lapis. He was such a different god from the previous one you had. Reaching the building of your office, you fixed your clothing and walked proudly. Opening the door and walking, Something felt off. There would usually be people welcoming you inside. The room should have open lights and a warm temperature. Instead, the building was dark, and it's eerily quiet. You sharply inhale.

    "Guys? Where are you?" You shouted as you searched each room you pass through. Was it a holiday and you accidentally went to work? But Ganyu would've told you earlier.

    The moment you arrived at the secluded area, you felt a hand with a handkerchief pressed over your mouth. You look back and attempt to punch them. Your heart beats rapidly and you squirm. More men appear and one of them punches you hard in the stomach. You fall to your knees as they hold you down and suffocate you. Black spots forming in your eyes as the world around you is rapidly fading quickly.

    "Is this one of the people on the list?"

    "Yeah, he's the last one." The man says.

    You try to struggle one last time as you close your eyes and drift to sleep. You squirm, punch, do anything. You struggle.

    And struggle, and struggle.

    And for the last time, you—

...

Struggle.

    You were being held down by Alek. He has always done this to you for as long as you can remember. Your face smeared across the snowy floor. It was cold and freezing, why is your life like this?

    "Y/N! I thought you wanted to be in the military!" He laughed, "Is it because your father is so poor he'd sacrifice you anytime to get money!"

    You sob and try to push yourself up, but Alek steps at your back. Leo, your other tormentor kicks you in the face, "How about your mom? Is she selling herself again to earn money? What a whore!"

    "My... Mom's not a whore..." You whimpered as the two boys made fun of you more. Blood trickles down your nose, you have a black eye and a broken self-esteem.

    "Hey!" A familiar voice shouted. He aimed his arrow and shot it right beside you threatening the two other kids. Your eyes light up and you see your best friend Ajax. He slides down the snow hill and directs the bow at the two boys. "Let him go! Or I will shoot."

    The two boys stare at Ajax. "And who might you be? We haven't met you before."

    "Someone that will kick your ass and make you fear my name." The two looked at each other and laughed. They glance back at you and Leo picks you up. Ajax glare would be enough to kill these two. Without warning rushes at them. He raises his fist and punches Alek right in the nose. Leo drops you roughly into the ground and before he could do anything, Ajax swings his bow at him and uppercuts him in the jaw.

    Your eyes light up as you watch Ajax beating them up a bit too hard. He strikes them with his bow without mercy. "Don't you fucking dare, return to this village. You got me!"

    "Ajax..." You call out, he stops and faces you. "I think they had enough." He shoves Leo into a tree and approaches you. The two boys ran away with fear. He crouches and touches your face.

    "Ajax, thanks for saving me again." You breathe out. He hugs you and lifts you. "Hey! This is embarrassing!" You hide your face and he bursts out laughing.

    "You can barely even stand, don't get shy of a friend helping you out." He carries you and runs you back to his place. The wind was a gentle breeze you blush slightly as he passes through the village. He sits you on the porch and opens the door.

    "Wait, is anyone home? I might disturb them,"

    "Nonsense!" He pulls you into a room and opens the lights. "Stay here, I'll get something for that black eye and a broken nose." He rushes into a room. You hum and wait, he returns with an entire medkit.

    "You don't have to, that's a waste of supplies. I thought you were just going to give me a cold compress—"

    "Here have some of this, your nose is bleeding," He ignores your complaints and brings you a cloth. "Now for that eye," He takes out a cold compress and gives it to your other hand. You apply it to your eye as you wipe your face off the blood. He happily sits beside you.

    "I wish I can be like you, strong, powerful, and brave. Do you ever wish to be part of the military?"

    "Nah, I don't think I'll ever join the military soon. I like to fight but you're more fit for that."

    "You're just wasting your time, thanks for being my sparring partner and the person that always saves me but..." You trail off.

    "But what?"

    "I'm someone you can leave behind. I'm the one getting prepared to become a soldier but I can't even fight those two. You don't even get training yet you're better than me. I bet you're just doing this because you don't want to hurt my feelings."

    "Y/N don't think about that!" Ajax smiles, "I enjoy your company! Even if you win or lose as long as you learn with me I am fine with that!" your face heats up and you look down at the floor.

    "That's sweet of you to say..." You whisper.

    Silence.

    His demeanor changes, "Y/N I've always wanted to tell you something, I've—"

    The door opens, "Y/N I knew you'd be here. Your father is calling you, he orders you to go home now," He walks towards you, "Yeesh, what happened to you kid?"

    "Oh just Alek and Leo doing their thing again... Your son saved me again sir! He's such a nice friend," You compliment. "I'm sorry I used some of your medical supplies."

    "It's okay boy, I don't mind. No hurry, your father needs you."

    "See you Ajax and thank you so much for helping me!" You bow down and run outside, waving goodbye.

...

You walk through the snow and trees. You arrive home and see a carriage and a ton of boxes everywhere. "What's this all about?"

    "We're leaving, pack your things before afternoon." You stand there in shock. Leaving? To where?

    "W-what! Father, why do we have to leave again? Where are we even going? Aren't we fine? You say if I trained and got in the military we'd be safe. W-why?" You stuttered. Looking at your father who's hastily fixing the bags. He grabs your shoulders.

    "Liyue, we have the biggest chance of surviving there. We can't pay off our debt anymore, they'd kill us!" He yells at your face, making you shake in fear.

    "B-but where's mom? And Ajax— I still haven't said my goodbyes to him." He grabs your hand and pulls you roughly.

    "Your mom won't be returning any time soon, we have to hurry. And as for Ajax, I told him about the two of us leaving for Liyue. You're not good enough, look at you. Whenever you get back here you get beaten up by such a useless piece of shit. There's no time so get your goddamn stuff and let's leave this hell hole!" He pushes you and his words echoed through your mind. You wipe a tear threatening to fall down your face.

    You pack all your clothes and whatever you can hoard in a box. You throw it in the carriage and your father commands you to get in. You are sad, at the sudden change.

    "Hey! Wait up!" Ajax shouts. You see him out of breath, his eyes full of worry.

    "It's best if you don't follow us..." You say. Your eyelids get heavy and hide your face. You look back once more to see Ajax chasing you with full speed. Your father grunts and whips the horse to go faster. You watch as he fails to match the speed.

    "Wait, Y/N! Don't leave me please!"

    And that was the last you've heard of your best friend.

...

The room is silent and uncanny. You squirm around and freedom has no avail. Your eyes are covered and your hands are tied. You start to panic and hyperventilate.

    "Looks like the last one woke up," you hear a voice.

    "Are these the hostages?"

    "Yes, we're just waiting for the boss to return," says the other. Footsteps were circling the room. You feel like you're about to vomit. Your insides churn at the fact that you're kidnapped by other people in the room.

    "This one seems to be eager for a beating!" The agent jokes. The blindfold tightly wrapped around your face stops you from absorbing info about the matter. Your hair gets roughly pulled and you gasp. They laugh at your attempt to escape from them. You hear the door creak open.

    "Well hello there, you did a great job you two, now would you mind if you avoid touching the hostages?"

    "Yes sir!" And with that, the two men drop you down. The newcomer arrives and clears his throat.

    "All of you calm down. We're waiting for your greedy scum of a boss to pick you up from here in about an hour. There are 6 people in here, If he arrives early and pays, we'll set you free. If he doesn't," You hear him chuckle. "Every 10 minutes wasted I will pick one of you and make sure none of you get out of here without a broken bone or two. So hopefully he responds and gives the money he owes us. Just hope this boss of yours is kind."

    Time ticks the sounds of your co-workers begging for freedom gets hushed by threats and punches.

    10 minutes had passed.

    "Looks like one of you is lucky," You hear a loud slap and a person groan. You witness your co-worker get beaten up. You flinch every time he begs for mercy. You hid in the corner of the room, hoping to dear god your boss would arrive now. You didn't even know nor want to do anything about this debt they were talking about. With one last punch, you hear a thud, ending one's suffering.

    You try to calm yourself down but you can't stop it. You huff and puff loudly, sweating bullets, stomach-churning, dying from the anticipation. All of these give all the attention to you.

    Another 10 minutes passed, it didn't even feel like it. Time was ticking too fast you've lost all hope of getting out of here.

    "Sheesh, that old geezer really does not care about you folks does he? Now, who should the lucky winner be?" His steps got louder and you know he's going to hurt you. He grabs your hair and pulls your blindfold and throws it. He raises his fist ready to strike. "Now you little-"

    "Ajax? Is that you?" You asked, blinking to clear the light. He's taller and has a Fatui mask on his face. He still looks as handsome as you remember. He halts and stammers.

    "H-how do you know about that? Are you one of Liyue's spies? Or are you an eavesdropper that knows too much?" He studies you before saying, "Keep an eye on the other 5, I have to deal with this one." You gulp as he harshly tugs your arm. He drags you into the room beside and throws you into the wall. Your heart sinks, whatever happened to your best friend? You feel the tears swell up in your eyes as sadness overtakes you.

    "A-ajax don't you remember me?"

    "As far as I can remember, I don't know anyone that's part of an organization that borrowed money from us. I only know your boss, and his subordinates are going to get a good beating if he doesn't arrive with the money."

    You stare at his eyes, it's devoid of the sparkling light of hope and kindness. It's empty and dark, soulless and heartless. You gulp and a tear escapes out of your eye.

    "I'm a coward..."

    "Save the tears and sad story for later. I'll get back to you after your boss returns." He rolls his eyes and scoffs. He stands up and he quickly walks to the door.

    "I'M A COWARD THAT LEFT THE MILITARY AND YOU ALONE!" You shout as you reach your hand up to him. "I was never fit to become a soldier! And I made you suffer!" You sat down and tears streamed down your face.

    Childe stops walking and looks back at you. His eyes widened and his mouth agape.

    "Y/N? How're you— alive? My father told me you were taken away and you... died...."

    "W-what? My father said that he informed you about the two of us leaving Snezhnaya to hide in Liyue. We couldn't pay off our debt, and mom never returned the same day you rescued me from those two asshats."

    His eyes softened like every memory of you two together came crashing to him. A small smile appeared on his face as he approached you slowly. Each step he takes, you take one back.

    "I'm sorry I- just hurt me..." His hand reaches for your face and he looks directly into your eyes. He leans in and you feel his soft lips touch with yours. The moment was bliss, you close your eyes and hold onto him. You breathe in sharply as he pulls out. He wipes away your tears and lets out a laugh.

    "I can't believe you're alive Y/N. I missed you, and you aren't a coward," he says. Your stomach somersaults and you hug him. "Now, let's get to it." You look up to him and then A sudden sharp pain surges and paralyzes you. A knife digs into your abdomen. You widen your eyes and more tears stream down your face.

    "A-Ajax?" You whimper and your body numbs. Your legs weaken and Childe catches you. He chuckles as he runs his hand through your hair. You cough out blood and he whispers into your ear.

     "Shh... it will be okay. Y/N just relax, you'll be fine with me. Just sleep, we'll talk in a bit."

...

You flutter your eyes. Everything was so blurry, your body is ready to fall apart from exhaustion. The pain of your best friend betraying you loomed and haunted your thoughts. You sluggishly move and the pain shoots through your stomach. You wince and attempt to cover it. You realize something is attached to your wrists. You move your hand and hear the clanks of chains. You dart in that direction and see that both of them were chained in the wall. The room is pitch black.

    Your heart races and you panic. You struggle but your efforts are futile. Something heavy was weighing you down. You look down to your feet to see chains shackled on your ankles.

    Your breathing gets erratic, and adrenaline rushes through you. The sounds of footsteps came near and you waited for the danger. The door loudly opens and you see Childe enter.

    "You're finally awake! Took you long enough, I know you don't like to keep friends waiting," He exclaims while crouching down to your level.

    "Where am I? Ajax why the fuck am I chained?"

    "You'll never be able to leave me anymore. We're going to be together just like before! Aren't you excited! We have so much to catch up to, after you left I thought you died! So I chased after you and fell to the abyss—"

    "Abyss?! Is that why you've cracked your head and went mad!" His grin widens and he giggles.

    "You've always been funny Y/N I've loved your jokes. The abyss was such a fun place. I always thought that if you weren't in this world anymore, you'd be there! But foolish little ol' me remembered you are an angel, they don't fall into the abyss. They fly up into the sky," He rambles with a twisted smile on his face. You raise your brow, scared for dear life.

    "This isn't right Ajax! Y-you fell into the abyss?! What happened to you! Why are you doing this to me? Let me go!" You yell. His face drops and he laughs maniacally. He comes closer and rubs your shoulders. His hand runs down to your chest. He licks his lips and stares at your eyes, piercing through your soul.

    "We're going to have some fun."

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Author's Note: I swear to God idk what I just wrote ;-;

If you enjoy whatever the hell I wrote you can follow me on WP too! 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/264619512-genshin-impact-oneshots-x-readers-x-characters

[secret-kkh-fics]

Light Casts a Shadow - Chapter 2

Due to this not being posted anywhere else yet, please like but DON’T REBLOG my fics.

Chapter Index  |  First Chapter  |  << Previous Chapter  |  Next Chapter >>

Chapter Summary:

The Darkling returns to his room to find Alina lying asleep on his bed, much to his surprise. Even more surprising is what she reveals to him when she wakes up. That she knows who he is. Cautiously, the two begin to talk.

Author Note:

And now the fun begins! Much of this was the first thing that came to mind when I was plotting this out, and I really enjoyed writing these scenes. I hope you enjoy part one of their little chat.

A Hesitant Truth

As the Darkling stormed back to his rooms, everyone avoided him as if his shadows were literally swarming around him. Instead, it was his mere presence and mood that drove the few people in the halls this late at night scuttling away.

Tonight had not gone to plan at all. It had started so well, and it had just gotten worse and worse. First with the assassination attempt, and another unknown party killing Pavel - one of his Inferni, then he’d returned to his suit to find Alina missing, discovered the kidnapping plot, and had an infuriating conversation with his mother where he found out that Alina’s tracker was dead, and Alina might have left of her own volition. He hated to think what that vile woman had told her. And now he wasn’t sure if she was running off into danger on her own or if she’d been kidnapped.

His heart clenched painfully, and he actually paused mid-step, surprised at the sensation. That was slightly unexpected…

He knew he needed her back. He had to, for his plans to work. She was invaluable. She was his only hope… But recently, he’d felt like she was something a little more. Her light had been a beacon for him from the start. But now, he found her smile just as bright, and even stranger, he’d found it bringing a smile to his own face. She glowed more every moment. And since she’d learnt to use her power on command, he’d watched as she flourished and her beauty grew. How much healthier she looked now that she was nourishing her gift instead of suppressing it. It baffled him that she’d even survived suppressing it so long.

He only hoped she continued to survive. It worried him to know she was out there. Either alone or at the hands of three petty criminals. And, as she always would be whenever she left the walls of the palace, hunted by those who would want her dead. And those people grew in number every day. From the fucking Fjerdans, to the Shu Han, even to that sham of a general who was supposed to be their ally.

A man who had sent an assassin after his Alina. And a poor assassin at that. It was good – no, it was satisfying to know that otkazat'sya filth was dead. He had seen what that man had done to Marie… such a sweet girl. Another innocent Grisha he’d failed. Genya had been distraught. He’d seen how he’d sliced her throat open and left her to die in a pool of her own blood. And with the duplicate kefta on, he could all too easily see Alina’s face instead. He could see Alina lying dead on the floor before him, and his heart clenched coldly. The mere thought made him need to focus to keep the shadows from surging up around him.

But it was done now. He had the information he wanted from him, and now he was gone. The man had shown no mercy, and he had shown none in return.

He’d sent Ivan and the rest of his Oprichniki away, wanting to be alone, and needing their services elsewhere. Namely, beginning the search for Alina. He was more than used to people trying to kill him and could handle himself easily. So, he had no fear…

Even when he entered his darkened outer chamber, and noticed something horribly out of place. The secret door that led to the storage rooms and escape passages was wide open as if someone had found a way in but hadn’t known how to close it from the inside. He knew that it had not been open when he’d found Alina gone.

Cautiously, he made his way into his room. There was a high chance that whoever came through that door was still here. And he wasn’t taking any chances, his hands at the ready to call the shadows to him. He crept silently to the door and gently pushed it closed before checking the candelabra on the attached desk that worked as a lever. It hadn’t been touched recently, which means that no one had used the door from the inside.

He guessed that whoever used it didn’t know that the door could simply be pushed closed or couldn’t find the secret lever. And he was certain that they were still here. Why else come out directly into his chambers? He also knew that they likely knew he was in the room since his entrance had not been the quietest, practically throwing his doors open in his fury. It’s likely they were lying in wait. Somewhere easy to ambush him.

His eyes darted to his bedroom door – a likely spot. Still, he made sure he had swept the room thoroughly before proceeding there, just in case they’d hidden somewhere, expecting to sneak up on him from behind.

He didn’t dare light up the room to see better, choosing to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. And, as they did, he instantly noticed the figure on the bed. They were lying there, asleep or unconscious from what he could see. And as he took another cautious step forward, he saw who it was.

“Alina!” he gasped, rushing forward.

It was a stupid move, and he knew it. This could be a trap. And since Alina was here, it was likely orchestrated by the three criminals from Ketterdam who had tried to kidnap her.

Of the little they knew about them, it was clear that one was an expert knife-wielder, judging by her skill in taking out Pavel. One was unknown, other than the fact he had a limp. And from the little intel they’d managed to gather so far, the third that had not been identified was an expert sharpshooter.

Belatedly, he wished he’d asked Arken Visser more about his companions before his rage had consumed him and driven him to end the pathetic man then and there.

Now she was bait for him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Relief washed over him, and he had to know if she was okay.

He rushed to her side, grabbing her shoulders and gently shaking her to see if she was alive. She began stirring from the moment he’d touched her, having been roused by his call of her name. Relief flooded through him once more, and he let out a sigh. As she blinked open her eyes, he pushed her hair gently away from her face and tucked it behind her ears, checking for injury as he did. He could barely wait for her to push herself up into a sitting position, pressing desperate kisses to her forehead and cheeks before placing one more to her lips and leaning his head against hers.

“Thank the Saints, you’re safe!” he whispered hoarsely. “Alina, are you okay?”

“Aleks?” she murmured sleepily. Then, suddenly she was much more alert, pushing herself up, so she was fully sitting and staring at him in shock.

Since no one had attempted to attack him yet, he assumed that they were either ridiculously slow on the draw, which was contrary to what they knew, or no one was trying to ambush him here. So, he quickly leant over and lit the lantern beside his bed, illuminating Alina’s pale, scared face.

He took this chance to look her over again in more detail. She was still in her black silk kefta, and her hair was still up with the hair ornament in place, if not a little mussed and askew from sleeping. Genya’s tailoring still held, making her eyes a beautiful, smoky gold that glowed warmly in the warm light. From what he could see, she had not been injured.

He closed his eyes and let out a long, slow breath. Bringing up a hand, he gently cupped the side of her face and gratefully took in every detail of her face. He found he was exceedingly happy just to have her here, to feel her skin under his and know she wasn’t in danger.

“You’re safe…” he repeated.

“O-of course I’m safe,” she said hesitantly. She looked uncomfortable, which made him worried.

“Where were you, Alina?” he pressed. “I looked in here; you weren’t sleeping when I came back. You weren’t even in the suite. I told you to stay here under guard! Of all the nights for you to be stubborn and ignore me!” He noticed her flinch back as his voice rose, and regret bubbled up, making him pause and take a breath to make sure he kept his tone low when he next spoke.

“I wasn’t gone for long, but-”

“Any amount of time was too long, Alina!” he told her, still trying to keep his voice level. “You have no idea the amount of danger you were in. I didn’t leave you here alone because of some minor issue. Ivan came to get me because there had been an attempt on your life.”

“What?” she gasped, taken aback.

“As well as a kidnapping attempt. The assassin was captured, but the kidnappers got away. When I couldn’t find you, I thought they’d taken you.” He couldn’t help but press another desperate kiss to her brow, his hand gripping hers tightly.

“I-I didn’t know.” Her eyes were wide with a muted panic. “I… Your mother came and grabbed me and, I…”

At first, he was all too relieved to hear that she had been with Baghra at the time, but then her words registered in his mind. She hadn’t called her Baghra.

‘Your mother…’

His heart stuttered in his chest and a chill swept through him. He pulled back to look at her, his expression blank and his entire body stilled as he tried to shut down any reaction.

So, she knew.

Alina noticed. Of course, she did. She hadn’t realised what she’d said until he suddenly stilled under her touch, and she looked up to see him looking down at her with that impassive mask. But beneath it, she could see a hint of panic in his eyes. And that was when she realised what she’d let slip in her drowsy state.

“And what did she tell you?” he asked. His voice was quiet, but it was back to that detached tone with an air of authority that he used to speak with her back when they’d first met. Hearing him use that voice with her made her heart ache. He was retreating from her. And despite the fact that he may be lying and manipulating her, it hurt.

“Everything.”

“I doubt that very much,” he told her with a dark, huffed laugh that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Well, a lot of things,” she whispered. “That she’s your mother, obviously.” She cleared her throat nervously under his intense gaze. “And she said… She said that you’re the Black Heretic, that you created the Fold. And that you want to use it as a weapon…”

“And?” he said, sensing there was something else she wasn’t saying.

“That you wanted to keep me as a slave.” She paused a moment, looking into his eyes and hoping for any sign that Baghra had been lying. But all she was met with was his impassive expression. She could practically feel the emotions she couldn’t see raging under the surface in the tension of the one hand that still grasped her shoulder. “She told me to run,” she continued. “To leave while you were distracted.”

“And yet you’re still here,” he said, still cold but slightly mystified. She wasn’t sure if she imagined the glimmer of relief and hope in his eyes. She nodded silently, and he stared at her, puzzled for a long time before finally murmuring, “Why?”

“I… don’t know,” she admitted. “Not really. I just… I didn’t completely trust what Baghra was saying. Not all of it. I wanted to talk to you first. I want to know the truth.”

A sardonic smile quirked at the edge of his lips, finally breaking the indifferent mask. “Not the smartest move, coming back if you think I’m going to enslave you.”

“I never said I was smart,” she countered.

His grin grew wide and more genuine. “I disagree entirely.” The compliment was automatic and made something in her chest flutter.

“Flatterer,” she accused cheekily.

“Come, let’s go somewhere a little more comfortable than this to talk,” he said softly, standing up and holding his hand out to her.

“More comfortable than here?” she asked.

His brows rose. “Do you find my bed comfortable, Miss Starkov?” he said, his voice low and smooth. She could hear the teasing in his voice… but also the hunger. She suddenly found herself glad of the dim light that hopefully hid the blush she could feel rising in her cheeks.

Without a word, she accepted his hand, and he pulled her to her feet. They were still a little sore, having spent all night on them and walked halfway through the castle and back in heeled shoes. But with only a slight wince, she ignored it and followed him. He led her out of the bedroom and to another small chamber off from the war room. It was a small parlour, clearly intended for eating meals or having conversations with someone. The room was small and cosy, with two plush chairs set up facing each other and a low table between them. The chairs were angled close enough that whoever was sitting in them could touch each other if they wished. There was a fireplace against the far wall, though it was unlit.

Aleksander led her to one of the chairs, then went about the room turning on more lanterns so that they had enough soft light to see by before he came and sat down in the seat opposite to her. She was glad that Ivan wasn’t here because she was certain he’d notice how fast her heart was racing. He was staring at her from across the room, an intense look on his face. One that she was well used to. But everything had changed. This was no longer just the mysterious general who had swept her out of the barracks of the First Army and into the grandeur of the Little Palace, telling her with awe in his voice that she would change the world. This was also the legendary monster who had become so power-hungry the king had sent an army to kill him. The Darkling who had created the Shadow Fold that caused so much chaos and grief and loss in Ravka. She couldn’t bring herself to meet those intense, grey-black eyes.

There was silence for a long while, and she heard him shift on the couch. “You’re afraid of me,” he said in soft realisation. She thought maybe she imagined the note of hurt in his voice, and she couldn’t help flicking her eyes up to him before letting them skitter away the moment she saw his impassive expression.

“N-no, I-” She was cut off as Aleksander let out a rather loud, low growl, his fists clenched.

“That treacherous, manipulative bitch!” he hissed. Her mouth fell open in surprise, and she looked up in time to see his expression morph from furious to pleading as he looked at her. “Please, Alina. Tell me exactly what Baghra said. That woman is a master manipulator. She weaves lies out of fragments of the truth.”

“Funny, she said the same thing about you.”

“Did she now?” He arched an eyebrow, his face falling back into that calm, cold expression once more.

Alina nodded. “She said that you’d had centuries to practice manipulating naïve girls.”

Though his face gave nothing away, she watched as his knuckles turned white as they gripped the arms of the chair and his jaw clenched as he breathed in heavily through the nose. “And you think I’m manipulating you?”

“Are you?” she asked boldly.

He stared down at her, his dark eyes piercing her before his stance relaxed ever so slightly, but his guard was still up. “Not entirely,” he admitted. “Some things. Necessary things. But not everything.” He leaned forward in his seat, his hand raised to touch her face, but he hesitated, his hand drawing back. “Not the past day,” he assured her.

Her heart stuttered in her chest almost painfully, hope and heartbreak warring out within her.

Not the past day… Not the kisses, or the smiles, or the way she’d surprised him, not the flowers, or the compliments, or giddily dragging her to his rooms away from the crowds for some privacy…

But then…

“How do I know that you’re not just saying that?” she whispered.

His hand fell back to the arm of the chair limply, defeat and hurt clear on his face. “I suppose you can’t,” he replied softly. “All I can do is hope you trust my words that I do care for you, Alina. I never meant to… I tried to stop myself even… but hope is a hard thing to kill.” He looked down away from her, and she did the same, looking at her hands twisting in her lap. She didn’t know what to say to that, and the silence stretched on between them for a while.

They were supposed to be talking. She was supposed to be finding out the truth so she could figure out what she was supposed to do from here.

“Do you promise to tell me the truth?” she asked eventually.

“Every word,” he promised, his voice quiet. “Or as much of it as I can.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” she asked again. She didn’t know why. She expected the same answer in return that she’d have to just trust his words. But Alexander was quiet for a moment before he responded.

“I actually don’t like lying if I can help it, though I’ve had to do far too much over the last few centuries, it’s now almost second nature,” he admitted. Then, after a pause. “I can get a Heartrender if you wish.”

Alina shook her head. “I don’t trust Ivan not to cover for you.”

He laughed a warm chuckle. “No, I don’t imagine he’d give me away. But, he is one of the few people I trust.” She pursed her lips in displeasure, and his brows rose, noting the expression. “Is there anyone that you trust?”

After a moment’s pause where she thought about who she trusted here, she gave a slight nod. “Fedyor.”

“A good choice. Fedyor is loyal and kind. I do not trust him fully, but I trust him enough… I’ll have him summoned after we’ve talked.” He stood from his chair suddenly and went to a nearby cabinet. He looked back and forth at his options of a full decanter of kvass or a tray with a tea set before ultimately choosing the decanter and two glasses.

“After?” Her brow furrowed. She didn’t understand how bringing him in after the fact would help confirm the truth to her. Didn’t he need to hear his heart as he spoke to know?

“I do not wish for him to hear the answers to what you’ll likely ask. But I trust him to be honest and discreet. I can answer all your questions, and then he can confirm to you that I’ve spoken the truth.” He poured out two drinks as he spoke before throwing one back in one go and refilling it. He placed the other on the table in front of her and sat back down with his own, leaving the decanter on the table. She was never a fan of kvass, much more preferring the champagne she’d been sipping at most of the night. But this one was infused with a nice fruity smell, and she agreed with his sentiment of needing something a little stronger right now and picked up the glass.

Alina hesitated, swirling the kvass around in the crystal glass as she thought the deal over. It was a good compromise, and if she was going to have to negotiate some things she may not like, she wanted to keep this kind of faith going. “Okay,” she agreed. “Fedyor can come after.”

Satisfied with this answer, he sat further back in his chair as if bracing himself. “Alright… What do you want to know?”

Fifty questions all sprung to her mind at once, all clamouring to be heard first, and she had to close her eyes and take a deep breath to try and order her thoughts. She looked up nervously to see that Aleksander was still sitting there, perfectly still, just as he had been before.

“I… I suppose I should start with the obvious,” she said eventually. “I saw the picture down there, under the castle. You are the Black Heretic, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he said simply. The fact that he was remaining emotionless made her uncomfortable, and she shifted in her chair, trying her hardest not to avoid his eye contact.

“Why did you say it was one of your ancestors?”

“Many reasons, but mostly for protection. If everyone knew I was the one to create the monstrosity tearing Ravka apart, what do you think they’d do to me? Also habit. I’ve lived a very long life. Changing my identity, lying about my age… these were things instilled in me since childhood.” When he saw her questioning look, he quickly clarified. “I was born in a time where nowhere was safe for Grisha, and keeping who we were secret was necessary for survival.”

“Baghra did say you’ve had many names and faked many deaths,” she remembered. Then she realised something. “Does… does that mean that Aleksander Kirigan isn’t your real name?”

“No,” he told her, his expression relaxing slightly. “Kirigan isn’t… But my name is Aleksander. I didn’t lie to you about that.”

“Why not?” she said curiously.

Aleksander’s mouth opened as if to speak, but nothing came out for a moment. His eyes softened as he looked at her. “I wanted you to know my name. It was impulsive, but… I didn’t want you calling me by a name that wasn’t mine.”

Alina blinked in surprise, her chest warming. Considering all of her fears and worries, along with the realisation of who he was, it was an oddly sweet gesture. She hadn’t expected that he’d want her to know his real name. To know the real him. And as she thought back, she couldn’t recall anyone other than Baghra calling him Aleksander. Everyone else called him General Kirigan or the Darkling. In fact… she’d never heard anyone else ever call him by a first name. So, she had always assumed she knew the same name as everyone else because why shouldn’t she. But what if someone else knew him by another name. A false one. And she was the one he had told the truth to.

“Oh.” The word came out in a rushed breath. She could hardly hide the small, delighted smile that played on her lips. He noticed, and she thought she saw the flicker of a smile of his own before it disappeared.

“What else did my mother say?” he prompted.

“She said-” She paused, stopping before the first thing she remembered slipped from her lips. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear that particular truth just yet. Instead, she moved on to the easier issue. “She said that you don’t want to tear down the Fold. That you want to expand it and use it as a weapon.”

Aleksander was quiet for so long, his knuckles so tight on the arm of the chair that she began to worry, already knowing what his answer would be before he even spoke the words.

“Yes, that is my plan.”

Alina’s mouth popped open in disbelief. “What? Why?!” she demanded.

“Because I’m tired, Alina,” he told her, his voice weary yet still bearing an edge of steel. “I’m so tired of our people being hunted and slaughtered. The Fjerdans rove in groups across the continent, butchering us or taking us back to Fjerda to undergo their trials. Trials no one is ever found innocent of because the crime is existing. They burn us at the stake. The Shu Han cut us open, looking for some source of power they’ll never find. In the Wandering Isles, our blood is seen as a cure-all, and Grisha are strung up and drained of blood. Our people are captured and taken to Kirtch to be indentured in brothels. And if not for the changes I’ve made in Ravka over the last few hundred years, the otkazat'sya would still be doing the same. Even now, there is no love for us.” He rubbed at his face tiredly. “I have lost so, so¸many people over the years. Good people, innocent people. All I’ve ever wanted is to make this world safer for our people. And I am so tired of failing.”

Her heart ached in sympathy. Though she didn’t like what he was trying to do, she understood his reasoning. She herself had seen so many people die since she discovered what she was. And she’d heard of the Druskelle attacks and the Shu Han experiments. She’d even once seen a smouldering pile with a charred body amongst the coal and ash. It horrified her every time. She could only imagine how he felt about it after hundreds of years.

“But isn’t it better if we took down the Fold?” she asked uncertainly. “Ravka would be united. We lose so many people to it, both Grisha and otkazat'sya. The people I saw die on our skiff…”

“And without the Fold, what use would Grisha have in this world? What would be so important that the King thinks he needs us? I never intended the Fold to become the blight that it has, but it gave me a purpose to make us strong. Without the Second Army, what do you think would become of our people?”

Alina shook her head. “It’s been hundreds of years since Grisha were hunted in Ravka. People are different now. Fedyor once said to me that since a Grisha made the Fold, if one takes it down, maybe we won’t be hunted.”

Aleksander sneered. “A naïve sentiment. As I said, he is loyal and kind. Far too kind. Grisha have always been hunted long before I put up that damn thing. Nothing has changed. I hear how people talk about us behind our backs. My mother taught me to kill as a child, so I could protect my life. I have watched my friends cut down, burnt at the stake, and cut open and prodded to see what makes us tick for far too long. Hundreds of years of it. I used the skills my mother taught me to protect our people. To try and stop this all happening. That’s why I made sure I rose to power. I made myself useful. I made the King notice me. I made him need me. And I helped him win wars with the blood of the people he would slaughter without a second thought in the naïve hope that he would see us as useful. That he would stop persecuting us. That’s all I ever asked for,” he snarled. “I didn’t ask for more power. I didn’t try and take it. Power was never what I wanted. I wanted my people safe. That is what I asked of the King. And he saw that as a grab for power because we are more powerful than them! And merely being alive was too much. The way he saw it, I was trying to make an army to overthrow him. Because how could one trust the Darkling?”

As he’d spoken, fury enveloping his features, the shadows in the room grew, curling around them into a suffocating darkness. Without thinking, Alina reached out for his hand. It was wrapped so tightly around the arm of the chair that it felt like iron in her grasp. She didn’t call the light to her like last time she’d done this, but she did draw soothing circles into his skin with her thumb. His eyes flashed to hers, and she watched as he began to relax, his eyes softening and the shadows retreating.

“I want them to pay,” he told her, his voice a low whisper. “I want them to leave us alone. I want them to fear us enough that they will never try to attack us again. Even if I have to leave another permanent scar on the world to do it.”

Her heart raced at those words, but if it was in fear or because of the intensity of his words, she didn’t know. She didn’t even know what to say, rendered mute. All she could do was continue to rub circles onto his hand, finding the motion just as soothing for her as she hoped it was for him.

“Baghra said that I almost gave you the stag,” she said quietly. “What did she mean? I haven’t given you anything…”

“Oh, now I don’t know about that,” he said with a slight smirk. It was clear that he wasn’t talking about the stag, and she dipped her head to hide the slight blush. “Though, she may not have realised that you didn’t intentionally lead me to it. I’ve been looking for an amplifier for you. You’re progressing quickly, and I know that you are incredibly powerful. I can feel it in you, Alina.” He reached up with his other hand and trailed his knuckles down the side of her face. “You’re going to have a very long life.” For a moment, he stared down at her, his eyes focused on her lips. His gaze as intense as ever, his eyes so dark they were almost black. Then, with a gentle breath, he retreated. Her heart gave a pang of disappointment, and she scolded herself for wanting him to lean in and kiss her instead. “But you’re still not ready, and we need to act soon.”

“A-aren’t you an amplifier?” It took a moment for her to remember what they were talking about, and her reply was rather breathless.

“Yes, but it’s not enough. I wanted to find you the perfect amplifier. Something more powerful than a common one, like Ivan’s bear claws. I wanted to try and find one of the legendary ones.”

“Morozova’s Stag,” she realised. He nodded. “Are you sure it’s real? I just thought it was a myth. A child’s fairy-tale.”

“Very,” he said resolutely. “I’ve known they’re all very real most of my life, despite my mother’s attempts to convince me otherwise. I sent out requests for hunting missions to try and find it. One party returned, having successfully spotted it.” His face twisted angrily. “Unfortunately, my mother dealt with them before they could give me the exact location.”

He took a sip of his kvass, and she could see a range of emotions cross his face. She knew that he would be upset by the loss.

“I dream of the stag,” she said eventually, taking a sip of her own drink and staring down into the lightly effervescent liquid. “I used to dream about it all the time as a kid. So much that Mal used to call it ‘Alina’s Stag’. But I always called it the Sun Stag because of how the sun would shine through its antlers. I drew it everywhere. Eventually, I stopped dreaming about it. But since I’ve been here… I keep seeing it.”

Aleksander sat up in his chair, a look of curiosity on his face. “Really?” She nodded, only glancing at him briefly. “How intriguing.” He rested back once more. “Perhaps the stag was the perfect choice for you, then. It explains why it was in your sketchbook. I simply thought you’d read the stories.”

Alina looked up at him in shock. “You looked through my sketchbooks?!” she cried. “When? Why? Those are personal, you know!”

She had always been hesitant to show her drawings to anyone. Not trusting the kids at the orphanage not to jeer or ruin them. And the habit followed her as she got older, hesitant to show anyone her works of art. Mal had been the only one she would gleefully and proudly show. The fact that someone looked at her books without asking…

“It’s mandatory for everything to be checked upon entrance to the Little Palace, Alina. Normally to check for weapons or dangerous information. It’s a precaution only, but one we can’t afford to risk. What if someone had found out you were the Sun Summoner and put something dangerous in your bag? When your belongings arrived from Kribirsk, I oversaw the check, and I saw the sketch in one of your books. It was one of your drawings that I had copied to be sent out for distribution. It’s probably the best sketches I’ve seen of it.”

“Now I’m glad I don’t keep a diary,” she grumbled. He huffed out a laugh, the lightness of it cracking through his aloof countenance. She found she liked being able to break the indifferent mask he wore. That no matter how hard he was trying to put on a certain face, she could make the real emotion peek through.

“Yet you still leave your papers lying around your room,” he teased. “Genya saw your recent drawings. They’re the ones I used.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why would Genya tell you about my drawings?”

“I mentioned the stag during one of her reports, and she mentioned it.” At her confused look, he shot her a rueful smile. “Genya is one of my many spies.”

Alina���s mouth fell open. “You had Genya spying on me?!” she spluttered. Betrayal burned through her, thinking of the person here she considered her closest friend.

“Perhaps. Her main job is keeping me informed on secrets from the royal family, hence why I placed her with the Queen. But I asked her to keep an eye on you. To see how you were adjusting.”

She frowned, still not liking this. “That can’t be all. Anyone could have told you that!”

“And to inform me of any escape attempts since you seemed so eager to do so when you first arrived. Now, at best, I ask about your wellbeing alone.”

The teasing reminder of her many questions about leaving the Little Palace made her begin to smile, and his last comment warmed her heart. Trust this stone-faced idiot not to ask her how she was doing straight to her face. And it made her feel much better knowing that Genya was only really there to make sure that she was okay, that she was happy at the palace. Something she’d come to realise recently that she very much was…

But the smile that was beginning to creep on her face fell as she once more remembered what they were doing and what needed to be asked. There were still several things she wanted to ask, but she tried to push them down. They were just curiosities. Things she wanted to know the full details of now that she knew who he really was. But they weren’t important.

They weren’t the one question she’d been putting off. The one question that could break her. The Darkling could sense her shift in mood, and any semblance of levity left the room. He knew what it was she was going to ask.

“Ask me,” he told her.

Still, Alina hesitated, drawing in a deep breath before bringing up the issue that would hurt the most. “Baghra said that you wanted to enslave me.”

“I don’t want to,” he said automatically.

“But you’re still going to,” she said, understanding what he wasn’t saying.

“I would prefer not to.” It still wasn’t a no. He was once again tense as if he didn’t like where this conversation was going any better than she was.

“Then… why would you?” she asked quietly.

He looked down into his glass of kvass, swirling the golden liquid. “Because I have plans. And I don’t know if you’re able or willing to go along with them.” He drained the rest of the glass and finally looked up at her. “I don’t trust easily, Alina. I’ve been alive long enough to know better than that. And I know from experience, it’s always better to plan for the most extreme case and work backwards from there. I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to do. I have watched you grow, and learn, and accept who you are since you came here. If you could have seen yourself during the demonstration… But I will not let anything get in the way of what must be done.” As he’d spoken, he’d gone from a look of seriousness to wonder as he spoke of her. But on the last line, his voice had lowered darkly once more, a horrible determination in his eyes.

“H-how…” Her voice didn’t want to work. Her heart was beating so fast, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to run or cling to him and beg him to please trust her. That she’d do anything he wanted… because it just wasn’t true. She cleared her throat and tried again. “How are you going to…”

“A collar,” he admitted quietly, anticipating what she was trying to say. The impassive expression was back once more, regarding her indifferently, so he gave nothing away. “I have been working with David, trying to see if there is a way we can attune the bones of the stag to the both of us so I could use your power if needed. We have worked out that if I kill the stag and you wear its bones, I should be able to access and control your light. I had no idea how fast you would catch on and learn to control your gifts, so the option of having someone more experienced able to control it could be useful.”

“And if I refuse to do what you ask, you’ll use me to do it anyway,” she realised. He nodded, his face still emotionless. Her heart clenched in her chest, and her breathing hitched as it sped up. “Please don’t put it on me,” she whispered desperately.

Though his expression didn’t change, she saw something in his eyes. Sorrow and pain. As if he did not like that, he was making her react so fearfully, making her plead for her freedom.

“Will you help me with my plans?” he asked her.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know what they are. Or who will be hurt because of them.” She stared back at him, trying to stop the tears that were welling in her eyes. “Would you be willing to compromise? To change your plans as long as they reach the same result?”

He regarded her silently for a moment before giving the slightest nod. “Perhaps.”

She let out a shuddering breath. “Then perhaps I will.”

The slightest of smiles finally tugged his lips, hope alight in his eyes. “I would very much like that, Alina.”

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” she blurted out.

He just shook his head slowly. “That was never an option. The death of many is inevitable.”

Alina swallowed heavily. She didn’t want to be responsible for the deaths of many. “C-can’t we… is there anything we can do so that less people are hurt? Innocent people… Baghra said that you didn’t give any thought to the people that lived along the Fold when you created it; men, women and children became the Volcra. I don’t- I don’t want that happening to…”

The Darkling shook his head. “I never meant for all those people to be hurt,” he admitted. “Many of them were Grisha I was trying to protect, hurt women and children trying to flee the massacre of the King’s army. I was only trying to turn the army that had come to kill us, but I lost control of the merzost I was using.” He sighed heavily. “I will see what we can do. I would rather have you working at my side willingly than forcing you to. I can wait patiently for a very long time for you to stop hating me… but I’d much rather prefer you never did.”

“I don’t want to hate you,” she whispered. Not when she was sure she was beginning to fall for him, despite what she now knew. His eyes closed at her words as if they were a balm to his soul. “I want to help you make this world a better place for Grisha.”

“So, you will help me?”

“I… Yes.” Her answer was barely a breath. “I will help. But only on my terms,” she clarified, her voice becoming much stronger. Aleksander nodded, accepting this, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her next question came out much more hesitant. “Y-your plans are to use the Shadow Fold as a weapon, right?”

He nodded again. “That’s one intention, yes.”

This made her look up in surprise. Only one? “And what’s the other?” she asked cautiously.

The Darkling looked at her, his dark eyes boring intensely into her soul. And when he spoke, his voice was low and far too calm. “To kill the king.”

Author Note:

Ben’s characterisation of Aleksander humanised him SO much, and I’m having so much fun with that. I love it a lot more than the book version. So, rather than his indifference being born of just being too old to give a shit, I played into the emotional side and made it a mask he wears to hide behind. Trying to find the balance of how they’d act and where they’d change between familiarity and tension was fun too.

Chapter Index  |  First Chapter  |  << Previous Chapter  |  Next Chapter >>

[alckzandria]

(continuing from discord) setting: february 14th

@theisaacking​

Isaac's grin only widened at Alek's sleepiness and her reluctance to get out of bed. He could hardly blame her, given the fact that hour was so early that the sun hadn't even begun to rise, but then his plans depended pretty heavily upon that fact, and he couldn't exactly relent and let her sleep longer. "No not yet. But I bet if you come out to play it'll give her more reason to want to come out too." He replied with a small chuckle and a nod of his head, reaching his hand to the one she had placed on his cheek and holding it there like the precious thing that it was. After a few seconds of savoring in the feeling of her touch, he let go of her hand, and got up off the bed, clapping his hands together. "Come on my Alekzandria, you don't want to keep her waiting, and make her spend Valentine's Day all alone now do you?" He prompted, his grin pulling further across his lips even as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at her expectantly. "Plus, if you're going to be playing with her all morning, then you're going to need to eat a good breakfast you know... Like a plate of waffles, perhaps" He added, hinting of course, that breakfast was the first stop on his plans for the day.

A breathy and pleasant hum eased from her lips with the feeling of Isaac placing his hand over hers, her grin growing even still. When Isaac pulled away and got back to his feet, Alek's hand fell back to her side on the mattress, her lashes fluttering as her eyes finally opened to see him when he did. "No, of course not." She interjected with a warm giggle, lifting both of her hands to brush the hair off of either sides of her face. She kept her eyes on him when he continued, and she beamed with the mention of waffles, her recent warm giggle quickly shifting to a fluttered giddiness as she excitedly kicked her legs beneath her covers. Alek released a long and dramatic sounding sigh, though was hardly playing it up. There was a certain exhilaration washing through her with the excitement for the day, excited to know what Isaac had planned for the earlier half of their day. Wasting no more time, she leaped out from under her covers, and stood up onto her mattress. She peered down at Isaac and took only a couple seconds to clap her hands together eagerly, before pressing her palms together and lifting her hands to the side of her face. "Tell me what to wear." She mused cutely and pulling her lip into her mouth as she gestured for him to choose something from her closet; feeling like a little doll awaiting her appropriate attire for whatever he had planned for her that morning.

☆*:.｡. [ From Bottom to Top​ ]  .｡.:*☆

Waking up to the sound of Isaac’s sweet voice, Alek stirred a bit, a delicate grin beginning to pull at her lips even before her eyes were willing to open. “Mhmm,” she hummed sweetly in response to his words, unable to fully wake just yet. That morning would mark Alek’s first day celebrating Valentine’s Day in a formal sense, having never been in an official relationship during the holiday before, and because of this, her nerves and excitement swarmed her for perhaps days leading up to the occasion. It had taken her a lot longer to fall asleep than usual the previous night, having been both too excited for the following day and also having tried her best to finish organizing her half of the plans. Blindly, Alek reached a hand up to find Isaac’s face, carefully placing her fingers against his collarbone and neck and gradually placing it higher, against his jaw, until finally she found his cheek, her delicate grin pulling a bit more across her lips. “You’re so nice.” She murmured sleepily. “Is she out to play yet?”

The moment that Isaac's eyes opened in the wee hours of the morning of February 14th, he wasted no time in shedding the sheets and leaving his bed behind him. After flicking on his bedroom light, a necessary step due to the fact that the sky outside was still dark, he moved around the room with an excitable energy as he got himself ready for the day ahead, each and every step he took having some bounce in it. He had been looking forward to this day for weeks, and now that it was finally here, he could barely contain his excitement. As he checked his reflection in the mirror one final time before leaving the room, he grinned before letting out a small giddy laugh, which prompted him to shake his head at himself whilst still grinning as he turned away from his reflection and headed out the door.

It seemed almost strange to him that the school could be so quiet whilst he himself was feeling so giddily excited to the point where he could hardly contain it. He knew, of course, that in a few hours time, everyone would wake up, and then some of that Valentine's Day excitement would become palpable in the air, but he wouldn't be around for that. As he arrived at his destination, he had to exercise a great deal of self control to keep himself from bursting through the door and loudly declaring it to be Valentine's Day, instead quietly letting himself into Alek's room and placing a soft kiss against her forehead as he gently stirred her, his face stuck in a grin. "Rise and shine sunflower. You don't want to miss the sun's rays on Valentine's Day." He said softly, with a light chuckle.

[lost-in-time-marie]

Into the Shadows: Chapter Four

         After my birthday, September flew quickly away into October; I could hardly believe Halloween was just days away. I thought of the masked figure that saved me often and always wore the necklace he gave me for my birthday. I dared not utter a word of his existence to anyone. I told myself it was because everyone would think I’m crazy, I mean I still hadn’t ruled out egregious hallucinations from the realm of reality, but somehow, I imagined if I said it all out loud, it would be less real, like maybe it was just a dizzy daydream. If anyone asked about the necklace, I simply said it was birthday present from a friend, no one pressed it beyond that, they had no reason to. Except Natasha. Natasha made frequent curious glances at it, sensing the importance and, perhaps more so, that there was something I wasn’t telling her. An instinct that only encouraged her to unveil any secret I could possibly be hiding. It was getting increasingly difficult to throw her off my trail.

         James stuck with Natasha, Aleks, and I, or, on occasion, Katy and I. We continued to take to him, but I grew more suspicious too, constantly asking questions about him and his mysterious life, attempting to figure him out. His answers were all the same, and I knew them well, because none were real answers, they were half-answers with absolutely no details or personality to them. I was beginning to feel like Natasha, questioning motives and growing overly suspicious about the smallest details. Overnight James became the most popular kid in school, everybody loved him. It wasn’t hard to see why, with a face like that and an all-too-charming personality. I had not had hardly any run-ins with Ryder, thank god, and actively ignored him in class. I was still mystified by the one time I’d seen him act like a human being in the elementary school office, but otherwise did my best not to think of him.

         “Yes, it is a fitting last name for someone so grim,” James joked one morning in Acting, lounging easily at his desk. I had to wade through another sea of swooning girls this morning just to take my seat. Things had been like this when Ryder first arrived, but when his personality became evident, people mostly just teased him. For as much as I disliked the guy, I never participated.

         “Come on, James, leave him alone. He’s probably just shy,” I blurted, sitting down and unpacking my things. I hadn’t meant to interfere, although I was usually the first to stand up to a bully, Ryder could handle himself, the words just popped out of my mouth of their own accord.

         “All the sudden coming to the defense of your mortal enemy, how mighty,” James teased, sly smile creeping up his face.

         “He’s kind of rude, but it’s no reason to be mean, besides that joke is terrible,” I supplied weakly, rolling my eyes. Ryder skulked into class then and the crowd instantly dispersed. It was like his negative aura had a physical effect on people. It bothered me that James bullied Ryder, he seemed much more vindictive about it than the other students, like he had a personal grudge against him, I kept pushing that pesky thought away, but it popped up every now and again.

         James kept pushing, “You’ve never said anything before.”

         “I just don’t like seeing someone being bullied,” I shrugged, staring at the board, refusing to look at him. James nodded, thoughtful, but didn’t push the matter further; he had an uncanny sense of when he was overstepping his bounds.

“Guess what today is, class?” Mrs. Robertson enthused loudly, addressing her students after the bell rang, “Nomination for roles in the play!” She answered her own question cheerfully. I groaned silently and resisted the urge to slam my head into the desk repeatedly. Mrs. Robertson told us the other day that there would be two days of deciding roles for “Romeo and Juliet”. The first day, today, would be spent calling out each role, any person who wanted that role would raise their hand and their names would be written down, other people in the class could also nominate someone for a role as long as someone seconded it. What an inventive way to force participation, I had thought sarcastically. The second day, tomorrow, each volunteer or nominee would audition for their role; later the parts would be decided and announced, anyone left over would be on the stage crew. I hate plays. I hate participating in plays. I hate that we are performing this play, most of all.

Mrs. Robertson called out Romeo and one or two guys raised their hand. Elizabeth, the girl behind me, nominated James, and Kim, Elizabeth’s desk partner, seconded the motion.

“I nominate Ryder Grim,” Katy’s voice squeaked out shyly. Every jaw in the class hit the floor and every head turned towards Katy. Her round face was redder than a tomato and she squirmed slightly in her chair from the attention. Her brown eyes found me from across the room and pleaded for help.

“I second that motion,” Another, more confident, voice supported. My voice, I realized a second too late. The words had just tumbled out, and before I could take them back, Ryder’s name was added to the list. I don’t know why I did that, perhaps because he despised attention and I despised him. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ryder flash me a baleful look. His gaze was so intense, the daggers shooting out of his eyes froze me in place. My skin bean to crawl with the intensity of his scorn. I refused to turn his way and resisted the urge to flinch and slide away from the daggers he aimed at me. I would pay for this, of that one thing I was absolutely certain.

“Juliet,” Mrs. Robertson called, moving on to the next name on the list.

         “I nominate Kristin for Juliet,” James announced loudly. I choked and stared at him with wide eyes, feeling oddly betrayed. I forced my brain to operate to make a refusal, but another voice cut me off.

“I second that motion,” An all too familiar, harsh voice declared. I jerked around in my desk. Ryder sat, overly casual, with his hand in the air. My jaw dropped.

“What?” I hissed. A dark smile played at the corner of his lips, but otherwise the stone mask stayed in place. Payback’s a bitch.

“Okay, moving on,” Mrs. Robertson continued after more girls raised their hand and their names were added to the list. I sat, dazed and numb, in my desk the rest of the class period, trying desperately to compute the events of the period.

The rest of my classes passed easily, thankfully, and the end of the day was fast approaching. After the initial shock of being nominated, and additional height being added to my already heaping pile of hate for Ryder, I formed a quick plan to just bomb the audition, forcing my way to stage crew or some other small role with few lines. Unfortunately, my luck didn’t hold, and my day took another turn for the worst in Chemistry.

“Kristin Hart! Please come up here,” Mrs. Gold called halfway through class. I quickly stood from my desk and walked to the front of the room where she waited for me. Mrs. Gold had assigned book work for us today so she could prepare for what she called “a new teaching method” she wanted to try.

“Kristin, I am partnering you up with Ryder Grim. It has been shown that students can learn better through collaboration. A lot of the students in here really need the boost to their grade, yourself included,” Mrs. Gold lectured sternly, her sharp, beady eyes boring into me over the wiry rim of her glasses. For such a seemingly frail old woman, she was deceptively strong and stern, in fact she was known for making younger students cry. I think she secretly enjoyed it.

“Everyone will meet with their partners outside of school twice a week for extra study time to prepare for the AP exam, this exam is particularly tough and I want everyone to do their best,” She instructed in a brisk, no-room-for-complaints manner.

“Ryder Grim!” Mrs. Gold called. I attempted, very poorly, to hide my horror. This lady actually likes torturing people! Ryder abandoned his book work and walked in that brisk, graceful manner of his to join Mrs. Gold and me at the front of class.

“Mr. Grim, you and Mrs. Hart will meet twice a week outside of school to study Chemistry. You are my best student and highest grade, I trust you two will do excellently together,” Mrs. Gold declared, not bothering to get consent from either of us.

“But-” I finally managed to stutter. Ryder’s jaw tightened, I could almost hear the click of his teeth snapping sharply together, and his eyes held agitation. I was too busy processing my certain doom to appreciate the emotion actually showing on his face.

“Umm, we don’t get along very well,” Ryder said, finally managing a composed, calm voice.

“Right, we don’t get along,” I eagerly agreed, “Surely there’s someone else?” I groped desperately for a way out of this. Ryder nodded his head in support. Wow, what kind of parallel universe was I in where Ryder and I were actually on the same side?

“Work it out. Mr. Grim you will study with Mrs. Hart, both of your grades depend on it,” Mrs. Gold said sternly, staring us down with her dark, evil eyes. I imagined thunder and lightning crashing outside while scary music played. It seemed fitting for my own personal nightmare. Welcome to hell. That’s what I’d told James on his first day; Acting was nothing compared to this.

“You can’t do that!” I blurted, outraged, tossing my hands in the air.

“I believe I just did,” Mrs. Gold retorted with finality as the bell rang. Ryder spun quickly on his heel, collected his things, and stalked out the door. I stared after him, dazed. I walked robotically back to my desk, collected my books, and headed to Sinclair’s class, my mind spinning, searching for any way out of this predicament.

“Today, we start our class project for the beginning of the year,” Sinclair called, walking quickly into the classroom, before the bell rang for a change, and handing out papers with a list of objectives and requirements for the project. I greedily accepted the paper, excited for the interesting project Sinclair undoubtedly had planned. According to his handout, we would pair off, pick one of the subjects he provided, and create a poster board about our research on the subject. I was pondering what subject Natasha and I would choose when a cold hand tapped my shoulder. I jumped and spun around.

“May I speak with you for a second?” Ryder asked, dead faced and monotonous.

“Sure,” I said, confused, following him to the back of class, “What’s up?”

“What two days would you like to meet at the library?” Ryder asked.

“Why didn’t you ask me that at my desk?” I asked sort of dazed, staring at him directly was seriously distracting; maybe that’s why he didn’t look at people when they spoke to him. His angular jaw and pale face were utterly flawless, coupled with intense, bright green eyes and tousled black hair to complete the image. I found myself getting lost in studying him; the sharp angle of his nose, the way his nostrils flared slightly in annoyance, the broadness of his shoulders and the narrowness of his hips, the confusing way his simple blue jeans and dark grey shirt accented his form in all the right areas. A sharp impulse to reach out and spread my hands over the expanse of his chest crashed over me without warning.  It was like a strange spell always around him, making it impossible to think.

“I wasn’t sure if you would be embarrassed,” He replied smoothly with a shrug. I shook my head firmly to clear these troubling thoughts before my imagination had more time to run off.

“Oh,” I said, stunned that he was actually being considerate, and still slightly captivated by his strange aura, “uh, thanks. Tuesdays and Thursdays right after school work for me,” I answered, wondering how I was going to volunteer at the elementary school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday while being tutored Tuesdays and Thursdays and still have a life.

He gave a brisk nod and turned to leave but stopped short. “Do you have a ride?” He asked, turning back.

“I can probably catch a ride with Natasha or just walk,” I answered nonchalantly with a shrug. For the smallest second, I swore indecision flitted across his face, as he stood half ready to turn away, half facing me clearly wanting to say something. All at once, that carefully articulated blank mask slammed into place, as if Ryder suddenly became aware of the emotion leaking out of him. Suddenly, it was easier to think and look at him, I despised that expression, it was much easier not be captivated by him when filled with annoyance.

“Just when I thought you were finally playing nice the stone statue reappears,” I muttered my thoughts aloud, rolling my eyes.

“Stone statue?” Ryder asked, raising a brow.

“Never mind,” I waved him off.

“Oh, good, you guys have paired off, now everyone has a partner,” Sinclair said walking by; counting all the other students I now noticed had paired off. I hadn’t even heard the bell ring.

“What?!” Ryder and I exclaimed simultaneously, but Sinclair continued on, paying us no mind. We glared at each other before turning and stalking off to our desks. Worst. Day. Ever.

I rushed to the elementary campus after Sinclair’s class, eager to be rid of this cursed day, and knowing I had a regularly scheduled meeting on these Monday Wednesdays, and Fridays I volunteered. My feet carried me, as they often did, already knowing the way without any input from me. When I arrived to the classroom I frequented for my volunteer duties, I found my weekly appointment already waiting for me in our usual spot.

“And that’s how my day went,” I finished my tale, attempting to find a position where I remotely fit in this elementary size school desk. I was coloring and recanting my tales with my one of favorite little boys in the aftercare program, Robbie, in a desk two sizes too small, as we did every day I volunteered since I started this year.

“Sounds like a rough day,” Robbie commented, pushing his wavy, black hair out of his face before resuming coloring an elephant purple. Robbie was a sweet little boy, very mature for his age, every day I volunteered he’d ask me to sit with him and tell him about my day. Even though he was only in second grade, he understood almost everything I talked about.

“That’s an understatement,” I muttered. Robbie never talked too much about himself or his day, even though I asked often, I think something about just listening made him feel better. He always had this sad, lost look in his deep blue eyes, it threw off his childishness and innocence. I worried for him; he didn’t play as much with the other kids; he was too often by himself.

“Alright Robbie, your brother is here, time for you to go,” a teacher called through the doorway. Robbie was the last to leave today, his small footsteps echoed across the room as he walked to the door carrying a too-large yellow backpack.

“Come on, Robbie, I’ll walk you,” I said taking his hand and casting a warm smile down at him. He looked up and gave me one of his rare bright smiles. We didn’t talk; he just happily held my hand. I allowed myself a small, pleased smile, glad that I could make him happy in some little way. It had been too heartbreaking, watching his small form retreat, burdened by his large backpack, and, I had a feeling, other concerns that I could not see.

“Be careful getting home, Robbie,” I said, holding open the door to the parent pick up area open for him.

“Big brother!” Robbie shouted happily, running toward a tall, wiry guy standing in the main office. Robbie’s brother turned, scooped up Robbie, and spun him in the air with a musical laugh. He looked over to thank me and froze. I froze too. I stood, still holding open the door, staring into the bright green eyes of Ryder Grim. Who…laughed? Ryder actually just laughed and smiled and played with his brother. For a second, I thought I might be having a bizarre dream. Or my hallucinations were becoming grossly overactive again.

“This is Kristin, Ryder,” Robbie introduced in a bright voice, immune to the awkwardness of the moment, “She’s my favorite volunteer,” he beamed. My mind finally started working again

“Thank you, Robbie,” I smiled politely, “I actually know your brother, he’s the guy I’ve been telling you about,” I cast a teasing glance toward Ryder.

Robbie looked up at his brother, crossed his arms, and furrowed his brow, “Ryder! How come you’re being so mean to her?” he demanded in earnest anger. Ryder laughed and smiled warmly at him. The hard, stone statue Ryder was nothing compared to warm, fluid, easy-going Ryder. His pale skin glowed with happiness and his love for Robbie was evident in his liquid, bright, green eyes. His angular face and broadness seemed less intimidating now; more relaxed and friendly. If the girls in our class thought he was handsome before, they would faint seeing this sort of flawless.

“She’s much more difficult than she seems, don’t be fooled,” Ryder teased, easily hoisting Robbie on his back, before casting a warm smile my way. I looked away to hide my blush, bracing myself against the door as my knees suddenly turned to jelly. My heart started an erratic dance and I tried to ignore its sudden loudness.

“Thanks so much,” I rolled my eyes, unable to stop from grinning. I stepped aside so he could walk out the door I still held open. Ryder grinned, winked, and walked out the door. I heard it close with a click, but I couldn’t recall releasing it. I stood in the main office for a good five minutes dazed, pondering the events of today and the many faces of Ryder Grim.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Revanasi fic 3

Fandom: Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic Universe: Kotor fic, New Canon, fem!Revan Ships: Revanasi Word Count: 1568 Trigger warnings: Death, death mention, Force choke (torture?), Dissociation

“Stop!” I shout, bolting upright in bed. It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s okay, Rena, it’s not real, it’s not happening now, it’s not real now, it’s just a memory. But I can’t slow my breathing down. I can’t slow my heart. I can’t get it out of my head.

“What?” Carth says softly. I didn’t mean to wake him up. “Bad dream?”

I shake my head, trying not to think about it, but I guess I have to a little. “Memory. Resurfaced.”

He sits up and wraps his arms around me from behind. I lean back into it. It’s nice. “Tell me about it.”

“I—“ I say, trying to process it, “I can’t.” I feel Carth sigh. “It’s hard to describe. You wouldn’t understand.”

He sighs again. That’s an irritated sigh. “No, I guess I wouldn’t, would I?” He says, and he leans back. I can’t tell if he’s upset with me, with himself, with Revan, with the Jedi Council. All of which would make sense. But these memories aren’t like a story I can tell. That only gives half the perspective. I can’t just tell him that I watched myself choke the life out of someone. If I just told him about all the memories of Revan that resurfaced, I’d scare him. Because he wouldn’t understand the whole thing. There would be no way for me to fully express why Revan did what she did. Because, sure, some things she did just to be cruel, but not like Malak. Everything she did had a purpose. And I’ll admit, that purpose is still fuzzy to me, it hasn’t been uncovered yet, but I can feel it. I know it’s there.

“You do love me, don’t you?” he asks.

“Yes, of course I do,” I say, leaning back beside him. I try to hold his hand but it feels cold, like he doesn’t want me to. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because I don’t understand how you can tell Dustil everything about Revan but you can’t tell me,” he says, “I was there, beside you, when you found the first Star Map, when Malak told you who you were, when you destroyed the Star Forge and turned away from the Dark Side. I’ve been with you from the start. But you feel like you can’t tell me everything, but you can tell my son. That doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I didn’t tell Dustil, I showed him.”

Carth scoffs a little. “Yeah, tell, show, what’s the difference? He still knows more about what goes on inside you than I do.”

“There’s a huge difference!” I say, trying not to shout at him, “I used the Force to show him, he felt what I felt, saw what I saw.”

“And?” Carth says, “That fact of the matter is that I married you, but my son knows more about you than I do. And that doesn’t add up to me.”

He’s silent for a while. I can feel how angry he is. And it’s chilling. I hate this. I would love to show him like I showed Dustil. But the Force...

“I can try,” I say.

“Try what?” he asks coldly.

“The Force connects all life in the galaxy, but in some individuals they’re more in tune with it than others. And that can run in families. So Dustil might have gotten it form his mother... or from you.”

“Sounds like you don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s a bit fuzzy, sure,” I acknowledge, “But if you really want to know, I can try to show you.”

“Of course I want to know,” Carth says tenderly, finally taking my hand, “I want that more than anything.”

“Okay,” I say, “Then you’re going to have to trust me, do exactly what I tell you.”

“When haven’t I done that?” he says with a smile.

I smile, too. “Okay,” I say, “Take my hands, and close your eyes.” He turns to face me and does what I say. “Try to open your mind. Don’t just feel me with your hands, try to reach out with your thoughts and find me.” He still feels. a little blank, but like he’s trying. “It’s like when you’re in battle, and you know your enemy is there, even though you can’t see them. Except now you’re looking for me.” That feels like it helped. He’s teaching out a little. “Try to imagine a door. I’m on the other side, all you have to do is open it.” I’m doing most of the work here, but Carth has managed to establish a shaky bridge between us. I do what I can to strength the bridge, and then I show him the memory.

“Alek, this is a waste of our time!” Revan exclaimed, “I’ve already told you, turning more admirals to our cause is not our next step!” Malak always was too ambitious. He let his pride obscure his goals, kept him from seeing the true nature of the Force. It was why he would never be as strong as Revan. She wanted to show him, he was her friend after all, not just her begrudging apprentice, but he could not escape from his violent past, he never could. The battle of Quelii had shaped him too much. He had been taught from a young age that the only way to advance in life was through the strength of your will and the blade of your sword. Never conceiving that there were more paths to power than just those. He could not grasp the carrot, only the stick. And Revan tried to hold him back from his baser instincts, but he had a ravenous hunger for violence. Much like the Star Forge they sought after.

“It’s not about numbers, Revan,” he said, attempting to persuade her with his silver tongue, “It’s about fear, intimidation, telling them that we’re in power now. If we hope to destroy the Republic for the Sith, power is the only way to get things done, surely you see that, my Master.”

Master, he said. Attempting to charm her by appealing to her baser instinct. To remind her of what they shared away from prying eyes. Not solely aster and apprentice, but friends and lovers, seeking to control the galaxy as a unit, their ambitions only rivaled by their passion for the other. But he was a fool to attempt this appeal so soon. “I see that, yes,” Revan said, “But I also see that power takes many forms, not solely in pure dominion over another.”

Malak touched her face. “That is something I never would have guessed about you,” he said, wielding his silver tongue once more.

The armored soldiers escorted the bloodied admiral in. This man was a coward. Revan could feel his quickened pulse. This was not a man accustomed to leading a fleet. No, he was accustomed to a seat behind a desk. A lesser man commanding greater men to fight his battles for him. Revan took a long look at him, slowly circling his crying, beaten body. “I remember this man,” she said, “Admiral Nyatt.” He sobbed. “Yes, he was the man who ordered the charge in the battle over Wayland.”

“I think he remembers you, too, Master,” Malak said, watching the whimpering man cower in fright, “I seem to recall the Mandalorians won that battle.”

“It was hardly a battle at that point,” she said, “Many Jedi were lost in that battle. Republic soldiers, too. And for what? A lost crusade over an insignificant planet?”

“I will never...” the man cried, attempting to stay strong through his tears, “... betray the Republic.”

Malak laughed. “You already have!” he said.

“The Sith don’t care for traitors,” Revan said, “But my apprentice and I tried to be more merciful than your average Sith, aren’t we, Malak?”

“We’re giving you the chance to leave the losing side, Admiral Nyatt,” Malak said, “To never suffer such loses as that again. To regain your former glory as a decorated soldier.”

“I won’t!” the admiral sobbed again, “I won’t betray that Republic.”

“As Malak said,” Revan said slowly, stopping in front of Nyatt, “you already have.”

Admiral Nyatt grasped ast his throat, trying to pry away a hand that wasn’t there, as the two Sith Lords watched the life drain from his eyes. And when his mangled corpse collapsed on the floor, Malak reached from behind Revan to massage her shoulders. “I love watching you embrace your power like that,” he said.

Revan sighed contentedly. “You haven’t begun to see me embrace power.”

And there the memory fades. I release the bridge between myself and Carth, and wait fo him to open his eyes. “I knew Admiral Nyatt,” he says softly, “After Wayland he lost all of his friends in the Republic.”

“Were you there?”

“Not personally,” he says, “But I heard about it. I lost friends there.” Carth opens his eyes. “I don’t know how I feel about having watched him die, though, and by your hand. Or Revan’s hand, I guess.”

“I didn’t want you to experience that,” I say softly.

“But I’m glad you showed me,” he says, and he pulls me in for a kiss. “I love you, Rena,” he says, “I don’t give a damn about your past, or what Revan did, because that isn’t you anymore. I just want to be part of your journey, always.”

[whumping-newbie]

Reunion

So! As part of NaNoWriMo, I have been doing some reshuffling of the order in which events occur, particularly in Michał’s story. I will be fixing this order in my masterlist of course, but here is the next bit of Setup (TM) for his story. No whump, just filler. Sorry! But the whump is coming soooooooooooon ish, I promise.

Tagging @justplainwhump and @givemethatwhump. This is very much setup for the next part of his story! Sorry about the lack of whump, but still!

POV: Michał

It’s been a while since I’ve been given a temporary leave of absence, and even longer since I’ve been happy to take it. I feel wretched, and I still ache all over from being cooped up in the medwing for as long as I have been.

I think that the last time I came out to explore the city properly – the mainland capital city of the country – was for Oskar’s last birthday. We had come out for a few drinks around the town. Even though I didn’t particularly enjoy drinking continuously over an evening, it was good to spend time away from work with my friend.

The streets are so different now. There’s the skeletal remains of the library further in the depths of the twisting roads, and the cathedral which still stands tall and proud towards the east.

It’s nice to have the fresh air, even though the burning hot sun is brutal at this time of year. The market stalls that normally fill the plaza have closed for a few hours whilst the sun is at its highest, but there are still a lot of people wandering around.

Including soldiers.

There’s so many, but they are highly concentrated towards the entrance to the tidal road that leads back to the citadel. They’re all travelling in pairs, and they certainly aren’t shy at making their presence known, marching around with a stern look on their faces, the look of someone who thinks they’re more important than they are.

There’s a certain tension in the atmosphere among the crowds of citizens here, now. It’s hard to tell, but it’s like everyone is skittish, and more alert than usual. Of course, this could have something to do with the armed soldiers that patrol the streets, but it could also have something to do with my recent excursion that led to a hideout being uncovered.

I find myself walking there. The building that was once an inconspicuous tailors shop has its windows smashed, the products within looted, and the way that almost every passer-by except myself is acting like it doesn’t exist. Like there’s nothing there. It’s like a ghost, it’s there, it has a form, but no one else sees what an eyesore it is to the rest of the area.

I move along quickly, I don’t want to get spotted lingering here, staring at an old building. Can’t have that making its way back to Emil. With that being said, surely he’d understand that I would want to see the place I uncovered, right? He’d understand that, I hope…

Psst.

I stop in my tracks, uncertain as to whether I actually heard that. It sounded like someone whispering, trying to get my attention. I turned around, looking for someone that could have done that. I can’t see anyone, there’s an old lady and old gentleman making their way past me, there’s a man with a little boy heading in the opposite direction, and a man and a woman, staying close together, slipping through these other people on the street.

Suddenly something catches my eye, literally. Light, blinding light distorts my vision for a moment, and I blink it away. It disappears as quickly as it came, and I look up at where the light came from. There’s a figure in the alleyway just ahead. They’re leaning against the wall with their arms crossed, wearing almost inconspicuous summer clothing, and holding something shiny. I can’t make out their face clearly because of the shiny thing, but I can see them nod at me, before disappearing behind the building.

Who was that? I think they want me to follow them, but I stop myself after a moment. Why would I be so stupid as to do that? I got beaten up the last time I was in this area because of who I work for. I managed to get people arrested in this area. Why on earth would I want to follow them at all? I didn’t even get the chance to see them properly, how can I be sure that this won’t end up with me dying in an alleyway?

I clench my fist, take another look around to make sure no one sees, before slipping into the alleyway too, following whoever it was.

I quickly make my way down the alley, keeping my eyes ahead but constantly looking back to make sure that no one is trapping me here. I look around, hoping to see something I can conceivably use as a weapon if I have to. There’s a wooden broom over there. I doubt that would do much good in an emergency, but it’s better than nothing. Oh, further down, there’s a loose, rusty pipe laid on the ground. The person I’m following must have gone down the alleyway further, so I take the chance to pick up the pipe as soundlessly as I can, and keep it held behind my back.

It’s better than being caught totally off guard.

I turn the corner and there is the figure from before now stood before me, arms folded and in the middle of the alleyway, waiting for me. I can see them clearly now, and I recognise them. It’s that lady that got me put into the medwing for two weeks.

“Glad to see you alive,” she said, deadpan.

“Same to you,” I returned, nodding my head in her direction. I still had the pipe in my hand, gripping it tightly. I was ready for her if she suddenly turned violent, and I could hear if someone was going to creep up behind me. “I heard about the hideout.”

“They didn’t get everyone,” she responded with a sigh, breaking our eye contact. “I suppose here is where I thank you. You kept your end of the bargain, and you got him out.”

“Is Alek alive?”

“Alek? Oh, that isn’t his real name, of course,” she shrugged, “but yes, he’s alive. Told us about what you were doing in there. He seems to trust you.”

“And you don’t?”

“What you have done has certainly edged it more in the… direction, of total trust, but your boss still credited you with discovering our base. We still lost good people that night.”

“I know, I’m sorry. That was never my intention.”

“I know. You still got our man out, and I appreciate that.” She unfolded her arms, turning around on the spot, before making her way towards a metal door in the building beside us, “you can drop that pipe, I’ve got someone that wants to see you. I think you’ll know them.”

She knocked sequentially – knock-knock, a pause, knock – before I could hear its heavy metal gears grind out of the locking mechanism, and the door opened. She gestured for me to follow, and I did, leaving the pipe on top of a dustbin that was on my right hand side.

This building appears to be the hideout that just got raided, because this back room is littered with once smartly pressed suit jackets that were now on the floor in tatters.

“Michał.” A short voice called out quietly.

I look over at the source, and am both shocked and immensely relieved. I remember those long black locks of hair, her dark skin and chestnut eyes.

“Zofia,” I recalled, but daren’t step forwards. She didn’t either. She looked pleased to see me, but not overjoyed. I don’t blame her. She likely knows the fate of her friends, and she has probably been told about me and what I am doing.

She, however, is wearing long trousers, most likely to conceal her metal prosthetic leg that she has. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew she had it, I wouldn’t have been able to tell.

“It’s nice to see you again,” she tells me politely, “you look… well.”

I can’t help but chuckle at her hesitation. Always the polite one, she was. I have to admire that. I also can’t help but feel immense relief that she’s actually alive and okay.

Since the day that Matylda and Irena were brought back to the castle, I was worried sick about the others since the Princess would not likely leave their side, but the moment Anastazja and Karolina were brought back was when I started to get worried. The chances of the Princess’ discovery was just… unfathomable, and I dreaded the day it would happen.

If it happens.

“Where’s the –?“ I started to ask, but was cut off by Zofia, who was working on re-locking the door behind me. She was also fiddling with some fine pieces of string above the door, so thin I barely saw them.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t. We got separated. Kasia and Anja were captured, and she ran off somewhere. I haven’t seen her for… about 8 months, now.”

I could breathe again, now that I know she’s sort of safe. Sort of, because now I’m back to square one. She’s missing, and no one knows where she is. Then again, if she was here I would have to question what her goal was, by sitting in a previously compromised building that housed rebels. The chances of her getting caught increase tenfold here, armed soldiers are everywhere. Plus, surely it’s safer to be anywhere but here?

“Why have you remained here?” I asked the woman who escorted me here, “isn’t this compromised?”

“It’s compromised for such a big group. Right now, there’s just two of us.” She started to lead me up the wooden stairs, taking care not to creak the steps, with Zofia behind me.

“That’s fine, I suppose, but aren’t they going to know this was previously a rebel hideout?”

“They like to think they’re smart. They think we have of course fled this one, and wouldn’t dare return. They’re right, except that they don’t actually check this place out properly. They just think that because it looks deserted, it is.”

“Just yesterday, we actually thought we would get caught, Michał,” Zofia piped in, “they came into the doorway and knocked things around, and we were right here. No one ever came upstairs to check.”

I couldn’t help but be impressed by this.

“Zofia… how did you get here? Working with them?” I asked her as I looked around the room.

An attic room, with a low ceiling and no windows, illuminated by battery powered lamps, by the looks of it. Papers everywhere, maps and documents, a laptop plugged into a plug socket on the wall, and two beds concealing all of it. There’s a small camping stove with two pans and cracked plates next to it, empty tin cans lining the corner of the room. There are some small bells on the ceiling up there, with wires following the walls down and disappearing into the floor. There’s even a gun on one of those beds over there, and I shudder to think that it’s Zofia’s. I doubt it highly, but if it is, I find it difficult to envision. This must be where they’ve made their home.

She carefully closed the door behind us, and took a seat on one of the blankets.

“After we left the capital, we went to Przezlas,” she started, “we hid there for a day, but someone spotted us. We had to run. Anja and Kasia… I saw them get dragged away. I don’t know where the Princess went, because I couldn’t find her. I ended up waiting it out. Starved a little bit. Was taken in by some guy named Markus. Markus… works with Teresa.”

I barely had a second to wonder who Teresa is, until I saw her nod in the direction of the woman. So that’s her name. It does feel better to know her name, rather than as some nameless rebel. Teresa did not look too pleased at Zofia mentioning her name, though her lack of an outburst makes me wonder if it’s even real. She said Alek wasn’t his real name.

“I helped Markus in his safe house for a while. I met Teresa when she brought that very, very wounded man in the other week,” she continued, enunciating each of her words with more strength and conviction, “he told me about you. About how you wanted to get my friends out. I want to help you with that, Michał.”

Relief. Sweet, warming relief rushes through me at how determined she sounded. I was glad for that, really. I was truly glad to hear that she doesn’t think I’m some traitor, after everything I’ve done (or not done) so far.

“Is that why you brought me here?” I asked, trying to cut straight to brass tacks.

“You kept your end of the deal,” Teresa took a seat on the floor, and pulled out a wad of papers from under a blanket. “Now, let us keep ours.”

Our deal. The deal for two freedoms. Freedom for their man, freedom for the Princess’ – and Zofia’s – friends.

I’m hoping this will work. I’m optimistic about it, I can hope that it’s successful, but there’s still something in me, a part of me that warns me to be wary.

I can’t explain it, but there’s a burning sensation in my chest as we talk through the plan.

[ohmahgahd]

To Believe In Fireworks - A Short Story

The following is a short story that I wrote recently, that I wanted to share. Pls be kind, I’ve never done this sort of thing before.

There was something beguiling about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew it and he knew it. He knew it so well, in fact, that he’d used this charisma since school. It’s where we’d met, at school, when we were both sixteen, in our final year of GCSEs. Something happens in that final year; you start to get, not nostalgic, but you find yourself longing for more, as though you’re not quite ready for it to be over. I think it’s around this time that it happened: the incident.

Aleks was sharp, quick-witted and enviously handsome, but I found his choice in friends to be somewhat questionable. Sure, he was on the school’s varsity rugby team and had a bright future ahead of him, but the company he kept was rude, despicable and would go to any lengths to torment me. He did his best to stop them, after all we’d quietly been friends for a few years (quietly being the operative word for him), but he’d eventually get sucked in to the torture and I’d find myself on the receiving end of jibes from him. All so he could keep his image in tact.

I, meanwhile, was somewhat quick-witted, I guess I dressed sharp but I was not enviously handsome. Just your regular sixteen-year-old with the usual suspects of mild acne, a lack of interest in sports and a lack of popularity. I’m not entirely sure how Aleks and I had started talking, especially given my appearance, but I guess it was back in Mr. Ashton’s geography class in Year 11. We were purposefully sat next to each other; mainly so I could help improve Aleks’ grade, but also partly because I was the only openly gay kid in school and Mr. Ashton thought it might help me if the captain of the rugby team was seen talking to me (spoiler alert: it didn’t). To Mr. Ashton’s defence, Aleks and I did end up becoming really good friends; we’d meet up outside of school so I could help him with assignments and I’d even go to school rugby games to watch him play. It was cute.

Our friendliness developed into Year 12, and eventually our parents’ were friends and we’d have monthly game and trivia nights at each others’ houses. His family would normally win. It’s hard to compete when his family includes a history teacher and a financial advisor, and my family is my dad and me, but we did our best. It was near the end of Year 12, however, that these nights stopped happening. Aleks’ became more distant, and then I noticed him hanging around with different people at school; more unsavoury characters started appearing, until he told me that we’d have to stop hanging around together in school. I hated him for it. It was 100% because his new “friends” knew I was gay. He never admitted it, but I knew it was true. Sure, we still hung out after school at his, but it was never the same, until one afternoon.

I think it happened after fifth period one icy winter’s day in January of Year 13, just after his eighteenth birthday. I got a text from Aleks that just asked me to skip last period and to meet him in the music practice rooms behind the main school hall. I was apprehensive because I wasn’t sure if it was a genuine message, or if one of the troglodytes he called friends had gotten hold of his phone. The bell rang at the end of fifth and I nonchalantly slipped out of class and went to meet Aleks. I showed up and no one was there. I instantly thought I’d been set up. It was all a scam, he just wanted to make a fool of me. But I’m an easily convinced fool, so I sat and waited, I was already late for sixth, so I thought I may as well just skip it. Ten minutes passed. Fifteen minutes. Then the door opened. It was Aleks.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, my last period dragged. I had to find some excuse to get out of it.”

“It’s fine. I haven’t been here long,” I lied, “what did you call me here for?” He paused.

“Look,” he started, “I think we both know that I’ve been a bit of a dick to you recently and that’s putting it lightly..”

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” I rolled my eyes.

“I just wanted to apologise. See, we were talking about, like, forgiveness or something in class earlier and it made me think about you for some reason; that’s when I messaged you.”

“It’s fine, I get you have new friends who aren’t the nicest to me, but it’s fine, it’s whatever.”

“No, but, like, it isn’t fine. We were really good friends in year 12 and I didn’t try to hide it. You really helped me.”

“Yeah, so I helped you with a geography grade, and..?”

I’d heard all this before, so I was beginning to get a little bit tired of the repetitiveness of it. It’s not the first time he’d apologised to me for being a douchebag, so I had to take this next edition of “I’m sorry” with an extra pinch of salt.

“Okay, you’re not getting it. Let me put it another way: my parents don’t even like playing games, I forced them to host game’s nights so I could find another way of being with you outside of school.”

“Right?”

“You helped me realise who I am.”

I was silent. For the first time in my life, I was actually silent. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure what he was alluding to, and I didn’t want to make assumptions, so I sat there in silence and let him continue. Except he didn’t continue. He came over to where I was and sat down beside me on the piano stool. I think this was the closest we’d ever been to one another in our friendship. Well, up to that point anyway.

Before I knew it, he was kissing me.

It was an interesting sensation. Part of me thought it was wrong, I mean we’d been friends for two years and I didn’t really want to jeopardise it. But then again, I was kissing the captain of the school’s rugby team, who wouldn’t let that continue?

I had to stop it though.

“Wait, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Never been more sure.”

“But… I-” I sighed, ”I don’t understand.”

“What bit don’t you get? The bit where I apologised? The bit where I told you that you’d helped me realise who I am? Or maybe it’s the bit where I kissed you?”

I could tell he was starting to get irritated.

“I just don’t get why you’re telling me now. Like, you’ve had this whole school year to mention something to me and you choose now?”

“I guess I just felt like it was as good a time as any? I don't really know what I’m doing, all I know is that,” he pauses, I can see him thinking, “I’m really glad you’re here, with me, and…”

He pauses again to think. It’s too painful to watch, it’s like watching a kitten being eaten. I need to put a stop to it.

“You don’t have to continue.”

“Oh thank god. Can we just continue kissing?”

I hold back his advance. “I just have to know, is this like a ‘I don’t know what I’m doing so I’ll just make out with the only gay guy I know’ kind of deal, or is it more than just a one off thing? Because I’m not here to be messed around.”

“I’m gunna be honest, its a bit of both. But I’m hoping the latter will prevail, because I really don’t want to mess you around.” I had to be the one to think now. It was less painful to watch, I hope.

“Okay, then yes we can continue kissing.” I laugh. He leans back in. I grab his arms and pull him over to the sofa in the corner of the room. I was never sure why there was a sofa in a music practice room, and I dread to think what kind of stories this couch could tell, but at this moment, I was fucking glad it was there.

I laid down on the sofa and he climbed over on top of me and pushed his body into mine. It was muscular and felt like the body of someone older than eighteen. There was a lot of passion; I could tell that this had been building up within him and that this was the culmination of a long time of waiting on his behalf. His soft lips were pushing into mine and his whole body felt like it was going to explode with joy. He sat up, unzipped his trousers to reveal his underwear, took my hand and put it… well I think you can guess. I was immediately transported, to where, I don’t know. Heaven? Could have been, for all I know.

I kept my hand down there for what could have been 10 seconds, but what felt like 10 minutes, before he unzipped my trousers, pulled them down with my underwear to my ankles. I felt exposed. I’d never been this naked with someone this good looking before and it was unnerving. He pulled his trousers and underwear down to reveal his dick and pulled a condom out of his blazer pocket. Next thing I know, he’s inside me. I knew now for definite that I was in heaven. He was gentle with me and took it easy, but I could tell he wanted to really go for it.

Now, I don’t really know what happened next, I possibly blacked out, but all I know is that sometime during my hand being in his underwear, I guess the bell for end of school must have rung, because just as I was screaming his name (the practice rooms are soundproofed, thankfully), the door opened.

Poor, poor Ms. Dudley. She’s probably always wondered how two men have sex, she seems like the type of person who would be inquisitive enough to wonder, but not bold enough to actually find out. Until this day. She had to walk in on that particular practice room, just as Aleks was thrusting inside of me. I never did look her in the eye after that day. Rather unfortunately for us, she did happen to leave the door open as she ran out crying, prompting other passers-by to want to look into the room to see what had caused Ms. Dudley such upset.

I don’t think I’ve been so mortified. I pushed Aleks away from me, jumped up off the sofa, zipped up my trousers and shut the door. I made sure to lock it. Once it was closed, I just turned and slid down to the floor with my head in my hands. Aleks just sat there.

“Well, thats not good,” he began, “lets just pray she doesn’t tell anyone.”

I looked up. “Aleks, it felt like half the school was walking by just as she opened the door. I’m pretty sure I saw everyone who even knows who I am.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad.” He was still half naked. Still erect. Still with the condom on.

“Could you please cover up? I’m not continuing now, that was mortifying.”

“It’s not that bad. Everyone knows you’re gay, it’s worse for me.”

“Mhmm, sure, it’s not bad at all that about 20 people have now seen me bottoming the captain of the rugby team.”

Aleks got up and redressed himself, making the odd decision to leave the condom on. He grabbed his bag and walked over to me. I stood up and we looked each other in the eye.

“This was a mistake,” he said with urgency, “I need to go. It’s probably best we don’t talk for a while. I’m suddenly realising the implications for me. I need to go.” I just stared back at him. I didn’t really know what to say. All I could think of was Ms. Dudley’s face shrieking as she opened the door, followed by the dagger-like stares of 20 or so of my peers.

“I’m gunna go. I’ll see you round.”

He opened the door and left. I stood at the door and watched him disappear down the corridor and out into the school car park.

We didn’t speak again for the rest of year. It was as though we were back to being strangers again. As though Mr. Ashton’s geography class had never happened.

* * *

Present Day - Thursday 22nd February, 2018

I guess you could say I turned out okay. I mean, as okay as you can get after having a traumatising experience like the one I had. I have an okay job, a close group of friends and I live in a fucking incredible apartment (with two other people, of course). It was sad though, losing a valuable friend like that over something that should have been a really enjoyable experience. He went his way and I went mine. I hadn’t seen him since and it’d been nearly five years, up until last week.

See, every Monday after work, I do my big food shop. I’m only 23, but I have the personality of a 40 year old. I will leave work, get in my car and drive to the out of town Sainsbury's to do that once a week food shop. Like clockwork. Normal 23-year-olds order their food online, and get it the minimum effort way, but not me. I still like the feel of shopping in a store.  It seems that Aleks does too. Last Monday, I saw him. Five years later, and I saw him again. Finally.

We caught each others gaze and ended up chatting in the store. It was… nice. I mean it was never going to be easy. After all, the last time I saw him, he had his dick inside me and it ended up being the most embarrassing day of my life so far, so it was never going to be plain sailing when we ended up reconnecting. But it was nice; it was nice to feel that something could actually develop between us. A friendship, or more; something sparked. We agreed to go for coffee a couple of days later. Again, it was nice. I honestly can’t think of any other way to describe it, which is lame I know, but hey this is uncharted territory; up until last week, the most I’d thought about him was a passing comment to a friend about ‘the incident’.

That’s a lie.

Our coffee “date” was cute. We went to Starbucks, obviously. We took the corner table upstairs so we were away from the crowds downstairs. We both sat on the same side of the table, on the comfortable sofa bench, and swivelled round to talk to one another. He was as sharp as he had been at school, as quick-witted as I remembered, and did he get even more handsome?

“So, how have you been?” His voice rung throughout my entire being. It was like a beacon of hope, calling me home, to him.

“I’ve-,” I paused, I didn’t want to lie and say ‘everything’s fine!’, when really it wasn’t (who am I kidding?), but I also didn’t want to tell the truth; a happy medium would do, “I’ve been as good as I can be.”

“That sounds ominous.” He looked at me weird. Oh shit, I’ve ruined it, I went too truthful.

“No, no it’s not bad, I just had a shit year last year, lost my job and had to move about three times because of shitty landlords, but I’m okay now — happy I’m with an old friend.”

He smirked. He knew that we were more than friends. We were friends with benefits, but without the friends bit. So acquaintances with benefits. Not sure that’s a thing. To be totally honest, the ‘benefits’ bit had only happened once so not sure it really counts.

Acquaintances then. That sucks.

“Yeah, it’s really good to be here with you, it’s definitely been a while.”

“Enough about me though, what about you? You look like the last five years have been nothing but good to you.”

“Well, yes.. I mean I got a job in the law firm I’ve admired since I went to uni, and I’m living in such an amazing area. Yeah pretty much all good, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, my dad died last year, so you could say I had a pretty shitty year too, but back on my feet again.” I felt awful. I’d just told him how I had an awful year because I lost a job and had to move house a few times and he lost his fucking dad. How much of an awful person am I? I didn’t know, it’s not my fault.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine, he had a short illness, so we were glad he was put out of his misery quicker, rather than having to suffer.”

I didn’t know how to react. I’d never been good with this sort of thing. I lost my mum when I was fourteen and having to deal with death at such a young age has given me a weird perspective on it. I kind of didn’t know how to deal with her passing when it happened and it really all hit me when I was nineteen and I was just crying non-stop for about a week. No one could console me. Now I tend to avoid the subject all together, and focus on more positive things. Thankfully, Aleks could tell.

“But enough about that, don’t want to dwell on it. Are you seeing anyone?”

There it was. That question. I knew it was coming. Am I seeing anyone? Do you count, Aleks? Because I see you in my dreams all the fucking time. Other than that, no. The last time I had sex was with you when we were eighteen. FUCK.

“No, not at the moment. It’s definitely hard out here for a bitch.” I laugh. He doesn’t. “How about you?”

“No, I was with this girl for a few weeks last year, but with all the stuff with my dad it didn’t feel like the right time.”

Girl? Wait. Let’s rewind. Didn’t he admit his homosexuality to me? Did I get that wrong? Please tell me I didn’t make a wrong assumption again, because last time I checked, sticking your penis in another man’s backside, doesn’t make you 100% straight.

“Oh you were with a girl?”

“Yeah, decided to give it another try. I mean, last time I was with a guy was, well, you. The one and only time.”

“Let’s not revisit.” I winced a little. “But this girl, she didn’t work out? Shame.”

“You say that with a little bit of glee don’t you?”

“No, of course not.” I did.

We both sat back and drank our coffee. There was a bit of an awkward silence. It felt like he was going to just get up and leave at one point. I wanted to mention ‘the incident’, but I’d just said I didn’t want to revisit it, like the dumb bitch I am. Of course I wanted to revisit it. All I ever want to do is revisit it. To let it happen one more time. To let him finish, without Ms. Dudley walking in and screaming. That scream haunts me; to this day, that scream haunts me. It’s like a recurring nightmare. Only not one of the ones that would be made into a film and star Anna Faris, no, this was a nightmare reserved especially for me.

“I lied.” I yelled.

“What?” he said, taken aback.

“Let’s revisit that time.”

“What time?” He was fucking around with me.

“You fucking know, don’t be a dick.” He laughs slightly and then utters the one word that would be the only response acceptable to what I had just asked.

“Okay.”

* * *

Before my key is even in my front door, his arms are around me. His lips on the back of my neck as I’m fumbling with the lock. His warm breath running down my spine as the key turns and the door opens. I drag him by the hand into my apartment. He can’t take his eyes off me. I’ve never felt more wanted. He slips his coat off and lays it on a chair in the kitchen. His shirt is fitted. I can make out every muscle, every small detail of his body without him even taking his shirt off. I remove my coat and lay it on top of his. He pulls me toward him and his soft lips touch mine. Just as I remember. They’re more chapped than before, but it is February. I think everyone has chapped lips in February. Why am I thinking of chapped lips?

We amble towards my room when something inside me has to ask that question again.

“Aleks, I have to ask.”

“Do you?”

“Is this like a ‘I don’t know what I’m doing so I’ll just make out with the only gay guy I know’ kind of deal, or is it more than just a one off thing? Because, like before, I’m not here to be messed around. I’m 23, I’m not getting any younger.”

“Honestly? I don’t know what I’m doing. But I do know that I keep coming back to you. Something inside me can’t get enough of you. I have never wanted to mess you around, including today.” He sounded sincere. “If something happens because of today, then fantastic, if it doesn’t then thats too bad, but either way, this is right now and I want you.”

I didn’t really know what to make of that answer, and to be honest he didn’t really give me much of a chance before he’d pushed me onto my bed, removed his shirt and was on top of me. I felt like I was being used. I was torn. Do I let this happen and have the best sex of my life, but feel like a used dish cloth after, or do I stop to let him figure out what he actually wants?

Let’s just say I don’t make good decisions when I’m horny.

He tore my shirt off of me, pulled off my trousers and tugged my underwear off with his teeth. I was now completely naked. I’d always hated my body, and to have his physique rolling around on top of me was tearing my self-confidence apart, but I was just happy to have this opportunity. He pulled off his trousers and underwear and laid down beside me. We just laid there, completely naked, for about 20 minutes. I didn’t really know what to do. I thought about getting up and making a cup of tea at one point. He just went silent. I was about to go and put the kettle on when:

“Okay. I’ve thought about what I want.”

“Alright.”

“You. I choose you.”

“I’m not a fucking Pokemon.”

“You know what I fucking mean. I want you. Look, there must be a reason I keep coming back to you. This is now the second time we’ve fooled around—” He doesn’t know about my dreams — I’m pretty sure it’s in the hundreds if we include dreams. “— and I just know that every time I think about you, I feel fireworks.”

I was about to cry, but then I remembered I was naked and that would have been the saddest thing to happen in the history of the universe. So I didn’t.

“Are you sure?” He turned to look at me. His penis flopped on my leg. I sniggered a little.

“Yes. 100%.”

I rolled myself on top of him and kissed his chest. At first softly, making sure that he felt my breath in his little bit of chest hair, but then more intensely. It wasn’t long before… wait, did we pay for our coffee?

* * *

I take a deep sigh and look at my alarm clock. 6.35am. Fuck my life. I hate work. Why can’t I just be famous for no reason and earn money for posting on Instagram. Where do I get one of those jobs? I can’t complain though. I look beside me. Aleks is still sleeping. I just lie there and watch him, so peaceful.

“Time to get up.” I whisper in his ear.

“Five more minutes”.

“Absolutely not.” I sit on his chest and straddle him until he stirs completely awake.

It’s now been nearly 7 months since that afternoon when we crossed paths in Sainsbury's, and then a few days later he was fucking me like five years hadn’t passed at all; like Ms. Dudley hadn’t walked in on us all those years ago. Was I happy? Sure. I mean, I really couldn’t complain. I’m just glad he had enough faith in those fireworks he’d felt, to make a commitment to me. I feel like this is it, like I’ve been truly gifted.

Fuck. I’m not ready.

[theunknown-ericfanfiction]

Chapter 46

The Unknown Chapter Index.

Unexpected Chapter Index

Eric grunted as he let the weight fall in the floor with a big thud and a little rumble on the floor.

He hand shot up to the pain in his shoulder and he massaged the spot.

Lately, he’d been taking care of the initiates and the batch of outsiders, supervising their respective trainings. On top of that he had been taking care of any and all faction management he came across.

Every time Morgan showed up asking him if he needed help he just told her he had everything under control, that there was nothing left to do, when in reality it was the exact opposite. But after that month Morgan had trained the outsiders he couldn’t make Morgan work, not because of the work itself, but because he didn’t wanted to see that sad brow or twist of her lips when she had to leave Aleks behind. He couldn’t do that to her.

So, he took care of everything and that meant he was over working himself, which often lead him here, to the gym, where he pushed up and heavy weighted his frustrations away.

It was the beginning of the week and Eric had had to deal with a lot of drunk initiates during fights and that frustration had led him to lift up double the amount of weight he was used to, so now, he was holding his shoulder in pain, praying that it was just a bad movement and nothing serious.

Given the fact that he was bent over with his hand on his knee while he still grabbed his shoulder in pain, it was pretty serious. Reluctantly he headed to the infirmary to get injected with the healing serum from erudite and get things finished.

That was not what happened.

“What do you mean they’ve been holding back on it?” He asked a little angry at the nurse that was attending him, he was more in pain than mad

“That’s what we’ve been told, I can give you one of the emergency ones if you really need it” she said a bit weary, everyone had to really do their best when attending Eric in the infirmary, otherwise they knew they could end up in the morgue.

Taking one of the emergency healing serums meant sliming down the chance of someone badly injured of making it. Eric sighed, his conscience heavy on him while he shook his head “Just give me the painkillers”

“You should have it restrained, another bad movement and you can end up with it sprained or broken”

“I’ll take my chances this way” he swatted the bottle of pills from her hand when she handed it to him and turned to leave.

He headed back to his place, getting ready to be submitted to an interrogation on Morgan’s behalf, he hadn’t noticed how tired he was until he reached his floor, those painkillers worked quickly.

He opened the door and slowly opened it, checking for Aleks on the other side. Morgan had gotten the little one a walker, and he didn’t know how to walk much, but he could move himself little by little to the other side of the room. The carrier was a relief, now they had more freedom to do other chores while Aleks entertained himself.

Eric saw him on the other side of the room, playing with the mobile on the walker.

“Hey” he saluted, making Aleks lift his eyes to him and then let out a squeak of happiness when he saw his dad approaching him. It was the most heartwarming gesture ever, and Eric couldn’t get enough of it.

Aleks lifted his hand to him while Eric bent over and ran his hand on his hair.

“Where’s mommy?” He asked. Aleks looked to the side, to the hallway, watching how Morgan exited the bathroom.

Instantly, Morgan knew something was wrong.

“What happened?” She asked worried, seeing how Eric winced when he moved and how he was slouched to the side.

“I made a bad move. I just need to rest”

“Okay” she said, not believing him, but still turned and walked with him to the bedroom, where Eric laid on his good side. He closed his eyes with a sigh and Morgan carefully ran her fingers on his arm “want me to get some ice for that?”

Eric just nodded and let out a little grunt as he struggled to get comfortable on the bed. Sleeping on his side wasn’t his favorite thing.

He closed his eyes, hearing Morgan talk whatever to Aleks while she walked back to the bedroom. She wrapped some ice cubes in a towel and pressed it to Eric’s back, in the spot where his shoulder met his back.

“You didn’t take the serum?” She asked, running a finger of her free hand on his jawline.

“It’s not that bad” he excused “Aleks is too quiet”

Any kid being quiet never meant something good, but Morgan and Eric had made all the arrangements in the house to make it kid safe.

“Aleks!” She called from the bedroom “come here I’m going to give you something”

Eric could still hear Aleks shuffle his way to the bedroom, bangin the sides on the walls as he walked to his mom and dad.

“In the six month check up the pediatrician told me the walker was not a good idea, because it doesn’t help him strengthen the muscles on his legs by himself”

“She was probably an Amity whose parents had all the time in the world to take care of their babies, but we’re leaders and we need some help from time to time” he tried to put Morgan at ease.

Eric heard how Morgan snorted a little laugh when Aleks finally approached her. She moved her free hand to the nightstand where she usually kept all kinds of toys for Aleks. She fished one and handed it to her, Aleks quickly snatched it from her hand and led it to his mouth.

“Other than that, she said he’s fine to start eating some solids, she gave me a list. I was going to prepare something today but…”

“But?” Eric asked, closing his eyes, tiredness getting to him.

“I rather take care of you so you can be at your 100%.”

“If you take care of me I sure will” Morgan smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the temple.

She used some pillows and held the iced cloth on his middle back, then slowly back off to have Eric rest and Aleks not bother him for a while.

Eric felt himself getting more and more sleepy, until he fell asleep. What he didn’t expect was him going to sleep for the whole day and the night, waking up at 6 the next day.

His eyes opened to find Morgan sitting on the bed, pulling a shirt down her body as he heard Aleks’ faint cries from the other room.

He moved his arm to reach out to her, but a sharp pain and a tug on his muscles made him pull back his arm with a fast move, that also caused him pain, he grunted and clutched his arm back on his chest, his eyes closing forcefully.

“Eric” Morgan said a little scared, she moved over the bed and before she could tend Eric he dismissed her

“I’m fine, go get the baby”

Morgan heard Aleks cry again from his room, she quickly walked to him and pulled him out of his crib, then walked back to Eric, who was still with his eyes closed and very much in pain.

Eric was still clutching his arm to his side as his eyes were closed. Morgan managed to get more ice and get Aleks to sit down on the bed with a few toys while she tended to Eric.

“You have a massive bruise here” she said lifting up his shirt. “It’s in between you spine and your shoulder”

“It hurts because I haven’t been taking the painkillers, just give me some and I’ll be fine” he dismissed

“I’m going to get you the serum”

Morgan lifted herself from the bed and took Aleks on her arms, walking to the little ones’ bedroom and quickly changing him. He began to squirm and whine a little, and Morgan knew he was getting hungry.

She clasped him onto her breast and while she held him she walked back, Eric had gone back to sleep. She saw the painkiller bottle on the nightstand, then sighed.

She finished feeding Aleks, then sat him down on the bed as she changed.

She saw the little one roll to his side and lift a hand up to Eric’s face. They hadn’t seen each other all day yesterday, and Aleks always spent time with Eric when he returned from work.

Morgan took Aleks back on her arms and gave Eric one last look before walking out of the apartment.

She walked straight to the infirmary, when she was met with the same answer it was provided to Eric yesterday.

“There is no more left, we only have 5 emergency ones, I told your husband yesterday” one of the nurses said.

“And Erudite hasn’t send more?”

“No, they’re holding back on it I guess. People are becoming more reckless with what the do, they get injured more knowing that they can just get he serum and walk out the next day.”

“People are not getting injured because of stupid shit, we’re working to protect the city” she excused.

“That’s what I’ve been told Morgan, there is no more. I’m sorry”

Morgan headed to Eric’s office, and in there she asked for Stella, one of the leaders who took care of the meetings with Erudite.

“They kind of screwed up” Stella excused once she was sitting in the chair near the desk, Morgan on the other side of it.

“Kind of?” She repeated

“Well” she sighed and moved on the chair to talk “they wanted to start making the serum into another ways of applying it, like a spray or a cream, because there’s a lot of people afraid of needles. The effects of the spray were numbing and not necessarily of fast healing, and the cream was an all around mess. The results is that they used almost all of the serum supplies to make them into these new formulas and they have to wait until the components of the serum can be reproduced again.”

“What the fuck?” She asked frowning “with all that’s going on? The resistance? The settlement outside? If we get fucked we have no way to keep fighting?”

Morgan sighed and leaned back on the chair, she knew Stella was just a subordinate who ping ponged news between factions, there was no point taking her rage out on her.

“When you see Christine, tell her she’s not so perfect after all, and that if anything happens and everything goes to shit I’m blaming her”

[lnicol1990]

Defining Moments - Chapter 7

Second chapter upload tonight.

Rintra, Year 160, Fifth Age

Ayla – aged 18, Aleks – aged 17

Aleks dived under the table, his head low so as not to hit the crossbeam. He scurried further in, trying to avoid the oncoming onslaught that he knew awaited him beyond his safe haven. If he could squeeze in just a little more he could curl up and bunker down, and hope and pray for the psychopath to go away.

Alas, his hopes were shattered when a hand tightly gripped his ankle and pulled him out of his hiding spot. There was nothing Aleks could grab to delay his doom and he shrieked helplessly as he was pulled into the light. A couple of seconds later, he was being held up by the front of his robes and face to face with a bear of a man. The man drew back his empty fist, the knuckles clearly aiming at the spot between Aleks’ eyes.

Terrified, Aleks closed his eyes as tightly as he could, not wanting to watch death come hurtling towards him.

Only, Death didn’t come for him, at least, he didn’t think he had. Had the punch killed him instantly? Had he been hit at all? Or was the man waiting until he was looking?

After another moment of nothing, he was almost overcome with the need to open his eyes, but the last remnants of terror kept him still. And then he heard something, which he couldn’t quite identify. It was a sucking sound that was too wet to be healthy, and too close to be anything other than heart stopping. A cough in front of him landed something on his face, making him flinch.

At that point, he opened his eyes.

He was met with the man, who was still holding him by his robes. His eyes were wide, bulging in terror, and his lips were overly red from the blood dripping from his mouth. He coughed again, spraying blood over Aleks, before dropping the poor wizard. The new perspective made the arrow in the thug’s neck that much easier to see.

The sound of tight clicks on the floor turned heads to watch a petite woman approach the duo. She only just passed Aleks’ shoulder and was dwarfed entirely by the thug when she reached up and grabbed the man’s shoulder with a dark skinned hand. Without effort, she directed the man to the inn’s exit before kicking him out, pulling the arrow out as she did. Without another thought, she returned the arrow to her quiver and walked back into the inn.

Aleks would have collapsed had his legs not locked up in terror.

The woman gave him a scrutinising glance as she walked past him and up to the bar. He didn’t dare watch her, choosing instead to stay rooted to the spot and hope that she wouldn’t return. His hope was short lived as she suddenly stood in front of him watching him as his heart started racing again, fearing what he’d now gotten dragged into.

“Why don’t you sit down before you feint?” the woman asked, her voice lilting with an accent he’d never heard before. She motioned behind him, obviously pointing at a chair behind him.

She smiled when he did as he was bid, and pushed a tankard of beer towards him. She also passed a beer towel to him, though the beer glass was dry. She then joined him at the table, sitting opposite, and delicately sipped her own beer, careful not to spill the overfull tankard.

“My name is Ayla,” she introduced brightly. She cocked her head to a side and stared at him with bright green eyes, an odd colour for someone so tanned. As she raised her hands to her chin and rested lightly on her elbows, her gloves came into view. Such strange gloves, that barely covered her hands, what were they for?

Movement before his eyes made Aleks flinch in surprise, only to realise it was the woman before him waving one of said strangely gloved hands in front of him. She was looking at him with a strange frown on her face and her lips twitching slightly, as if she didn’t know whether to be amused or concerned.

“Uh, sorry, what was last bit? I- eh, I don’t think I caught it,” Aleks stuttered before grabbing that beer before him.

He’d never drank beer before, the Tower only providing its older students with wine and he had never been very impressed with it. Assuming the taste would be much the same, he took a large mouthful of the amber liquid and almost spat it back out in surprise.  Not wanting to look any more foolish than he already did in front of this strange woman, he forced himself to swallow the beer and coughed as it went down painfully. The second mouthful wasn’t so big, and not nearly as bad as it went down.

“I said ‘my name is Ayla’,” she repeated, chuckling slightly at him. She took a less delicate sip of beer and looked back to him. “And you?”

“Oh! Uh, I- I’m Aleks,” he introduced himself, almost dropping his glass as he offered his hand to her. It earned him another chuckle from the woman- he really wished she’d stop doing that- before she took his hand in an unexpectedly firm grip. He quickly returned to his tankard and, before taking another swig, muttered, “Thanks for helping me out.”

“Of course, no problem,” she shrugged. She then gave him a more apprising look, taking in his clothes and general appearance. “Though, I have to wonder why a man so obviously not built for close combat tried to go toe-to-toe with Jonny the Beard. Why didn’t you use magic, you are a wizard, aren’t you?”

“You can’t use magic if you don’t have the right runes to combine,” he explained embarrassedly, “I… I ran out of air runes mid-fight.”

“I see.”

Aleks was about to enquire why she hadn’t asked about the fight, such as why he’d gotten into it, when he suddenly noticed something. Her leather armour was well worn and practical, and there didn’t seem to be any decorative etchings or unnecessary about it. And yet, on her right arm was black piece of cloth that had been crudely tied near her shoulder with the cloth’s tails dangling uselessly.

Black cloth… wrapped around her arm….

Oh.

“You’re part of the Black Arm Gang, aren’t you?” Aleks asked quietly

“And you’re trying to get into the Phoenix Gang,” Ayla answered, not denying his accusation.

He kicked his mind into overdrive, trying to think of a way out of the situation. He couldn’t fight his way out as he didn’t have runes, and he couldn’t bluff his way out because he’d just admitted this fact to her. He could run, but she was between him and the front door. He could try the back, but he didn’t know where that would lead. He’d also drained his tankard, whereas she had barely touched hers, and the alcohol was starting to kick in and make things that little bit blurry at the edges. He didn’t know her well enough to guess if he could bribe her to go away, or how much he’d have to pay.

Could he sweet-talk her into letting him go? Did he want to do that? He’d had his fill of dangerous women in the past month to last him a lifetime, he didn’t really want to get involved with this one.

“I’ll tell you what,” her voice broke through his steadily panicking thoughts and she pulled out some papers from her satchel. As she waved them gently in front of him, he could see they were the plans he’d been asked to acquire from Jonny the Beard. “I’ll give you these, if you get me the Phoenix Gang armoury key.”

“What do you need that for?” he asked.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Ayla smiled at him and chuckled before taking another mouthful of beer. She looked at him for a moment and must have seen something in his expression because her shoulders sagged in defeat and smiled at him. “I just need to grab something to finish off my own initiation, nothing too terrible, I promise.”

Aleks thought the offer through. He didn’t have a counter offer, and from the stubborn look in her eyes he had the feeling she wasn’t going to accept one anyway. If he refused, she might kill him, which would leave him dead, and her without the key. Or, she might not kill him and they’d be stuck, unable to finish their initiations into rival gangs. The only major problem that he could find was that she wouldn’t keep to her side of the deal. While he was out of runes, it would be a short fight, especially as she seemed to know how to handle herself. However, if he could restock his bag…

“Alright then, you’ve got a deal, Miss Ayla,” he offered his hand a second time.

“Good,” she smiled, taking his hand and sealing their agreement. Releasing him, she went back to her tankard, taking another mouthful before looking back at him. “Are you going to clean the blood off your face, or not?”

Oh, so that’s what the beer towel was for.

---***---

Ayla was resting against the outer south wall of the Blue Moon Inn, and she had been waiting for fifteen minutes for her new friend to come back

It was taking a lot of self-restraint not to draw her bow and storm the Phoenix Gang hideout. While she didn’t want to believe that Aleks had played her with his story of needing the documents to get the armoury key, she was starting to think she’d been lied to, again.

Because being tricked never got old.

Then again, maybe he was swanning it up with his new gang buddies, getting ready to jump her all together. Then again, with a restocked rune pouch he may be something of a threat on his own; she’d seen him come out of a wizard-owned shop, and she didn’t have to guess what he’d bought. She hadn’t fought many wizards, and didn’t know how best to fight them.

It was just more reasons her fingers twitched, itching for her bow to be at hand. She didn’t want to be disadvantaged for even a second if this venture turned deadly. But, if he was as honest as she hoped he was, then she didn’t want to give him the impression that she was waiting to jump him.

A gamble either way.

She was instantly alert when the hideout door opened and she drew her bow reflexively, but didn’t raise it as Aleks came out alone.  She relaxed completely when he flashed a dazzling smile and held a key out to her. His smile became uncertain when he noticed her returning her bow to her back, but seemed put at ease by her disarming herself. He stood his ground as she approached, so maybe he wasn’t as scared of her as he had seemed in the Inn.

Wordlessly, she took the offered key, but her eyes strayed to his other arm. Tucked up close to his body was a misshapen object that a length of cloth concealed well enough to pass over a cursory glance, but was not nearly well wrapped for a closer inspection.

She realised why the young man had joined the Phoenix Gang and what he’d taken from them. The irony of the situation dawned on her and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?” the wizard asked indignantly. He glanced at his stolen trophy before hastily trying to hide it better behind himself. His defensive attitude only brought more chuckles from her, which only further irritated him and when he spoke again, his tone was harsher. “What?”

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Ayla apologised, still smiling. She gave a final chuckle before straightening up and looking at him. “It’s just funny that we, of all people, should meet. I helped you steal half the Shield of Arrav, while this key you gave me will help me steal the other half.”

“I didn’t ste- uh, I mean… you- you’re trying to put it back in the museum, too?” Aleks stuttered, first trying to defend himself before realising she’d said. After he’d asked her the question, she nodded without hesitation, and there was silence between them. She could almost see the cogs in his mind turning as he thought through his next question, and she wasn’t disappointed. “Why? I mean, I know why I’m putting it back, but… why do you want to do it?”

“Honestly? I need the money. I’ve been here longer than I planned for, and now I don’t have enough to charter a ship home. I could buy supplies and walk, I suppose, but that’ll take me months. I just want to go home.”

It felt nice for her to finally admit it, even if to a complete stranger. She hadn’t expected to jump through so many hoops to reach the physician who could examine the plague samples. And when she had spoken to him, he’d made the whole journey pointless with a single fact.

There was no plague in West Ardougne.

Not that she was going to tell Aleks why she was here, but by the sympathetic look in his eyes, she didn’t need to. She watched him pull the cloth off his shield half and hold it out between the two of them. He looked at it while his thumb traced the broken insignia.

“I didn’t even think about the money, I just wanted enough recognition so that I could get a position in the museum,” he admitted. As he looked down at the shield, his eyes skittering across its surface as he thought of an idea. Then, he returned his attention to her, eyes bright. “How about this: I get the kudos in the museum so that I can spend my vocational assignment with them, and then you get the cash reward that King Roald offered for the Shield’s return so you can charter yourself a ship. Sound fair?”

Ayla looked at him in surprise at the offer. It was by far the most generous deal she’d ever had, and not something to pass up lightly. With any luck, it would be enough for her to get home and purchase some supplies for the three day journey back to Ardougne.

“Well then,” she said, smiling brightly as she took his hand. “I’d better get Katrine those crossbows.”

[theunknown-ericfanfiction]

Unexpected: Part 35

The Unknown Chapter Index.

Unexpected Chapter Index

Morgan was quietly looking down at her baby, still shocked with the fact that it was a baby boy, what she wanted, what she had dreamed of. Although he was much much better than her dreams.

While Eric had gone out to get something to eat, she had placed Aleks down beside her, the little one sleeping soundly, and she just watched him.

She took the little socks that covered his hands and looked at one of them, her pinky finger pushed at his palm, and he held onto it like a vice, his little fingers barely managed to wrap around it.

The door opened and she saw Eric chugging down some coffee, she smiled at him and looked down at her baby.

“Is he asleep?”

“Yeah, the doctor said we have to feed him at least every two hours”

Eric sat down next to her and looked down at the little one.

“Give me your hand” she unclasped his little fingers from hers and Eric reached to do the same, his pointer finger being grabbed as soon as he placed in his palm

Morgan saw Eric sigh and touch his fingers with his thumb

“His palm is just a tad bigger than my fingertip” he whispered

“He’s so little and already has me at his mercy”

“I can already see myself just drooling all over him when I see him, baby talking and smiling left and right around the compound.”

“You’re gonna be his little bitch” she joked, Eric smirked

“I think I already am” she laughed and reached her hand to touch Eric’s cheek.

The door opened again, a nurse rolled in a little hospital crib while another brought a tray of breakfast for Morgan.

She sent them a thankful smile and waited until they were out.

“I don’t want to put him in the crib” she pouted as she touched his little nose

“Well you need to eat and sleep baby” Eric unclasped his finger from the grip of his kid, and carefully lifted him up, he couldn’t stop himself for giving him a little peck in the forehead before placing him in the crib.

Morgan sat back again and peeled the foil of the tray, beginning to eat her insipid hospital food.

Eric was quiet next to her, she glanced at him to see him look down at his baby, letting out a little smile. Morgan finished and laid back down.

“Come here” she said pulling him by the arm, Eric placed his arm on the bed, Morgan intertwined their fingers together and held his bicep with her other hand. Eric pulled the crib to his other side to be able to look at the baby from his spot.

“I’m going to close my eyes for a while” she said, Eric nodded at her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Now Eric was trapped between Morgan, her hands holding his arm next to her body, and his other hand touching the warm skin of his baby on is other side.

∆

Creed opened the door of the room, looking ahead to find Morgan sleeping, his hands grabbing onto Eric’s arm. Eric was also sleeping, his hand held his face while he had propped his elbow on the side of the crib.

He walked to the crib, looking down at the baby, he smirked and bent down.

He marveled at the baby for a while, watching him breathe in and out slowly.

Creed slowly pulled a chair next to the bed and crib and crossed his arms at his chest.

Morgan and Eric had been up all night, and the baby was going to be awake in no time to eat again.

A few hours passed, and little Aleks mewled out of nowhere, Morgan was the first to perk up and Creed leaned in to look

“Hey” she saluted, sitting up on the bed.

“Do you mind?” He said pointing at the baby, Morgan frowned

“Are you serious? Of course not, you’re the only other person I would trust to hold him”

Creed expertly pulled the baby up from the crib and onto his arms, rocking him and sushing him.

“What up my boy, it’s your uncle Creed” Morgan stifled a laugh, Aleks shrieked louder “I don’t think he liked that”

He walked to Morgan and handed her the baby, Morgan got ready to feed him again, eyeing Creed before pulling down her hospital robe

“Do you mind?” She asked, Creed rolled his eyes and turned around.

“Do you know how many breasts I’ve seen in my life time?”

“Well, you don’t get to see mine, I’m married” Creed chuckled and turned around when Morgan had situated her little boy to start eating.

“I bet it hurt” Morgan rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I’m pretty sure I almost passed out, I don’t know how I even did it, one second I was thriving in pain and the other they told me to look at him, he was out”

“He’s one of the biggest babies I’ve seen” he commented, sitting on the little space at the end of the bed.

“Who do you think he looks like?”

“Well, now that I see him from this angle and sucking your tit, Eric defenetly” Morgan laughed and lifted her leg to hit him on the side, Creed chuckled as well “real talk, it looks like he’s going to have your lips and, you know, chin and cheek area. Defenetly Eric’s eye section.” He motioned at his face.

Morgan smiled happy and looked down, her finger tracing the side of Aleks’ face.

“I…” He stood up “I’ll come back later to, you know, maybe give Eric a hand while you sleep”

Morgan nodded and smiled grateful at him, giving him a little wave as Creed exited the room.

∆

After the first night Morgan could walk to the bathroom and to the bed with ease.

They performed tests on Aleks and Morgan on the course of the second day and by the end of it they were walking towards their place, baby in arms. The trek to it took them and hour, instead of the usual ten minutes. Everyone that crossed they path stopped to gawk at the baby, specially woman or young girls. They all asked Morgan questions about it ans about labor, and the conversation usually ended when Eric told them off and ushered them away.

Morgan could spent hours if she wanted just showcasing her child, but she still needed to rest, and Eric had read some superstitions about babies getting sick if being watched by a lot of people.

As soon as they entered the apartment Eric led Morgan to the much awaited to be discovered baby room. Morgan gasped when she saw it. One of the walls was painted smoke gray, painted on it was Aleksander Logan, to which Morgan gave little jumps in celebration, since she was still holding the baby. The remaining 3 other walls were a pale blue.

The crib was white with blue sheets on it, the baby changer was also white, there was a rocking chair in the corner, another white drawer that she assume held a lot of the clothes she had been gifted by the whole faction.

“This is all so pretty, I didn’t know you had an interior designer hidden talent” she said with a little smirk. Eric smiled proudly “unfortunately out baby isn’t going to sleep in it for a few months… So”

“What?” His smiled dropped

“Aleks has to sleep with me, I have to feed him constantly and I’m not going to walk my ass from the bedroom to here, it’s still chilly”

“He’s not sleeping with us in our bed” he sentenced leaving the room, Morgan followed behind

“Why not? Eric’s he’s as little as they come, he’s not going to bother you”

“Do you have any fucking idea how much I spent building that god forsaken crib? 5 hours along with five grown man, that shit was the devil”

“And it’s beautiful and he’s going to sleep on it in a few months, he still needs body heat and what happens if he coughs of vomits? Or if he needs a diaper change and his skin gets irritated?”

“Fuck it, fine” he said waving at her and walking to the coffee table, where his laptop rested, he took it and headed to the bedroom, Morgan followed again.

“Look” she said placing Aleks in the middle of the bed. “He’s smaller than our pillow”

“It’s not the fact that he’ll be in the bed what bothers me” he laid with his back in the headboard and placed the computer on his lap, Aleks stirring next to him

“And what’s the deal then?” She crawled to him and held Aleks sideways, pulling down her shirt and feeding him, she held her head up with her hand, while the other one held the little one in place.

“This bed is ours, mom and dad, no baby in it, that’s why he has his own separate bedroom” he said typing in he computer.

Morgan rolled her eyes and smiled

“Are you jealous of your baby?” She said, emphasizing on ‘baby’. Eric tsked his tongue

“I’m not jealous of the baby”

“I feel like you’re kind of mad because you think I’ll displace you, now that the baby is in the bed I won’t pay that much attention to you”

Eric looked down at her.

“That’s not at all what’s happening”

“I read about it, that’s exactly what’s happening”

“I’m telling you, it’s not what’s happening”

“Denial” she tsked her tongue “they warned me about that too, men are territorial”

Eric tore his eyes from the computer to give Morgan a warning look, Morgan smiled mischievously and bent her arm under her head to use it as a pillow, Eric turned back to the computer.

“You’re the only men for who I have eyes for” she said, looking down at Aleks sleeping face, he has stopped chugging, so Morgan put her breast back in.

She crawled away from the bed slowly, to not wake up Aleks

“I’m taking a shower, can you look at him?”

“Of course” Eric left the computer in the nightstand and turned his attention to Aleks, he picked him up and gently tilted him to burp him. After making sure he wasn’t going to start crying again she headed to the bathroom.

Aleks began to stir uncomfortable again, and Eric had to stand up and rock him side to side slowly to comfort him and make him sleep.

He noticed that he was a lot less swollen, his skin wasn’t red and bloated, he was a little pink thing, a little pink thing that he already loved with all of his being.

Eric smiled and wished that Morgan hurried up to see Aleks open up his eyes slowly, he didn’t kept them open for long. They were a deep blue that reminded him of Morgan’s eye color, and he wished that by the time he was all grown up, his eye color remained just that. He would have another lovely pair of eyes to look until exhaustion.

He looked behind him ad Morgan exited the shower, covering herself with a towel.

“His eyes are open”

Morgan bit her lip and walked towards them, kitting her eyebrows together in the middle as she aw’d at them.

“He’s going to have your eyes” he commented.

“Might as well he has your everything” Morgan smiled more when Aleks perked up at her voice, turning his head around, Morgan touched his cheek with her dry hand.

“Can you make him sleep?” She said walking to the closet

“I can try,  might need some more mommy though” Morgan chuckled and Eric began to rock him again, moving slowly side to side, until he effectively put his baby down to sleep