#also a LOT of psas. sobs

[robjn93]

90s detective comics stories be like:

story one, batman is currently haunted by the mortal soul of the dead robin, jason todd, as he begs forgiveness on his knees for the sin of being born as a failure of a father

story two, the citizens of gotham are currently being faced with a sociopolitical dilemma as a new vigilante challenges them to question their faith in the corrupt institutions

story three, mister whiskers is gone! my sweet cat :( my meow meow

[anadiasmount]

what could’ve been - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: based on this request! brother bsf! after a heavy international loss, jude can only cope and receive comfort from his bsf little sister in her arms despite someone walking in on them…

wc: 1.7k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa🗣️: WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I RECEIVED THIS!! ik it’s not the longest but still filled with heavy and forbidden touches with jude 😵‍💫🤭 like always hope you enjoy! 🤍

you felt torn apart. feeling limb by limp being swept away as you try to cope with the realization they were kicked out to their deserved semi-finals. you couldn’t hear the commotion around you, feeling drips of water fall on you from some fans angry or happily celebrating, only blinking rapid to see if what happened was real or not.

you sunk into the seat, hands covering your face as you felt the need to be pushed into a dark corner and never come out. you felt pity, remorse and overwhelmed with the sight of your brother and his teammates crouched on the floor or wiping their tears away.

you felt for them. it wasn’t a easy match, one of the heaviest tournaments and going against the winner of the last world cup didn’t help. they had a strong team, they had it in the bag before all hell broke loose. one minute you cheered, then next you were trying to hold the choked sobs your body begged to be let out.

you could only stare around with tearful eyes and a heavy pain in your chest as you looked around the stadium before your eyes finally landed on them. your brother consoling jude who tried to control his tears, hugging each other tight almost afraid to let go.

you stayed in your spot, waiting for your brother to appear and come up to the stands. “i genuinely don’t know what to say,” your mom says quietly. you nod agreeing with you, feeling as she hugged your side and brought her to you. “maybe it’s best we leave him, he’ll come to us like he always does when he’s ready to talk,” you reply, bitting your lip to hold back your tears.

you saw your brother send the three of you a quick wake and kiss, shaking his head in dissatisfaction he didn’t want to speak and wanted to be left alone. jude trailed behind him, locking eyes with yours, feeling a familiarity in your tummy as he gave you a sad smile and wave. you reciprocated the action, seeing him whisper a “thank you for being here.”

you felt the first tear and then the one roll down your cheek onto your england jersey, being pushed away into the tunnel back into a reality you dreaded. you felt pissed and angry at the opposing teams fans who cheered loudly as they walked into the shuttles. earning some laughters or side remarks when all you wanted was to go in a tuck into your sheets.

your brother hadn’t checked in yet, so you’d decided to stay up a bit longer knowing he tended to go on walks after rough loss to clear his head. plus you could also imagine the squad comforting each other, and wanting to be there for everyone. you were grateful for that and their ability of having a brotherhood when it most mattered.

while you could also feel for your brother, you randomly began thinking of jude as well. the defeated and obvious sad look on his face as he processed the match. one of englands most youngest talented players at their first world cup and their luck being this.

you and him had a small history. he often came over a lot when they had time off. during those times when left alone a small friendship was built. either to talk about life, seeking advice, music you commonly shared, or when the group decided to leave both of you out.

you felt the need to distance yourself from him after the unexpected makeout session you had in your bedroom. he was your first kiss and it left a forever mark inside you. you knew it was wrong and the last thing you wanted was your brother cutting a long-standing friendship because of it. jude was hurt, eyes always roaming you when he came over and always trying to speak to you.

from jude:

please let me in.

your eyes immediately went wide when you saw him text you to open the door. frantically looking around when you heard the door knock, you quickly looked in the mirror and took deep breaths. this was the last thing you expected to happen especially tonight. your sweaty hand opened the door revealing a teared eyes jude with his nike tech set on.

you let him in, lips pursed not knowing what to say or even debating to say anything. you shifted your weight from one foot to another, you met his eyes, drowning in the rapidly as they never detached from yours. he let out a deep breath or sigh, eyes fluttering as his voice croaked.

he sat on the edge of the bed taking a deep gulp before speaking. “i didn’t know where else to go…” he looked around the room and his body language was refusing to deny what happened. "jude," you whispered quietly taking a small step. you saw his eyes watery looking at you, "can y-y-you just hold me?"

you immediately rushed to him, his head coming to your stomach as his hands wrapped around you. you let him hold you, hearing his loud sobs muffled as you tried to be strong for him. your hands rubbed the top of his shoulders, the other scratching the nape of his neck to comfort him.

you kneeled to his level, holding his face in your hands as you stroked away his tears, jude refusing to let you go as he controlled his breathing. "we can talk about it if you want? but if a quiet setting is what you need i understand too..." you say, thumb tracing his cheeks.

"can we cuddle on the bed? i think i'm ready to talk about it," jude replies, grabbing your hands and placing kisses all over them. you did as you asked, jude laying on top of you as we spoke for almost an hour about how he felt and how things could've gone differently.

you listened, continuing to hold him stroking his back and scratching to soothe his cries or stutters. you didn't interrupt once, wanting him to have the floor to relieve his pain and let his feelings known. you could hear the frustration, tiredness, anger, and disappointment but overall the sadness in his voice.

after a quick share of words and laughter before jude fell asleep, his arms tightly around you as he slept peacefully. you pushed away any feelings, wanting to be there for him when he most needed it. it didn't matter what happened in the past or how you felt for him, he needed consolation and you were grateful he was here with you.

"what the hell is this?!?!" you struggled to open your eyes, feeling the heavy weight on top of you still. you saw your brother standing, before throwing away the sheets that covered both of you. "y/n i swear to god. you two cant be serious right now!"

"please relax its not what it looks like," you said trying to explain the situation, as you stood up and jude as well. " 'it's not what it looks like' my ass! hes my best friend y/n! and here you guys are together and cuddled it up," your brother winced at the end, pacing back and forth with his fists clenched.

"i came here looking to talk with someone! nothing happened i swear! we ended up falling asleep," jude defended, earning an angry look from your brother. "yeah you on top of here like some sort of couple, explain that."

"you're overreacting! nothing happened, period. he was looking for comfort and wanted to talk about what just happened, we talked just that," you say frustrated, becoming pissed at your brother for making up assumptions. jude looked at you with sorry eyes, for getting you into this mess.

"y/n, you don't understand, he's my best friend-"

"you think i don't know that? i know he is, and you're my brother, you weren't the only one who lost tonight. we gave you the space you asked for, and jude is practically like family, so i will be here for him when he asks," you say, watching your brother scoff and give you a look of denial.

"jude you could've gone anywhere else! why her? my sister?" your brother ignored you, coming close face to face with jude. it stung you, hearing him sound almost disgusted of you. "everyone else has families, and they're with them. i had no one besides you and her," jude tried to reason again.

"and you chose her? were best friends jude-"

"i needed her! there i said it! i don't care what you or other people say, i needed y/n tonight. you weren't even here, you took those walks to clear your head and the last i wanted was to stress you out after tonight. i love your sister so much," jude confessed making you gasp and step in front of the two of them.

"i think we should-" you try to intervene as the scene becomes loud in the room, afraid it would wake up others and them going to complain.

"what?" your brother deadpans at jude.

"i said i love her. i have and for so long. and tonight the only person i wanted to see and needed was her. so i'm sorry if that upsets you and for saying it now, but i can't hold my feelings inside any longer," jude says. you're afraid to speak, feeling like a kid all over again about to get scolded for doing the wrong thing.

"i can't believe this," your brother sneers, shaking his head in disappointment and walking away. you call out for him crying trying to resonate but met with the door shutting close. "he hates me. he hates me," you say to yourself, hand coming to your heart as it beats loudly and fast.

"he doesn't hate you, he hates me for falling in love with you. this isn't anyone's fault, we can't control our emotions or feelings let alone let other people control ours, y/n. i said what i said because it's true, im so madly in love with you, baby." jude brushed your tears away, kissing your forehead in a comforting manner.

"jude-" you speak but jude asks you a question that leaves you hesitant about whether to confess how you feel for him or protect your heart to make your brother and everyone happy.

"are you in love with me?"

[joohanisms]

xdh + their favorite way to make you cum 💭💫

this is soo silly and more of a characterization exercise than anything else but!! i hope you guys like it <3

cw: oof here we go, afab reader, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, mention of thigh riding/dry humping, overstimulation, mention of squirting and dacryphilia, edging, slight begging, fingering, twitter porn link in junhan's, oral (fem receiving), mention of face sitting if you squint wc: ~900

gunil

dick.

a traditional man

Nothing beats some pounding. he Will make you cum with his dick inside your cunt.

big fan of cumming together <3

he's all about the connection, honoring the making love expression, fucking you deep and slow...

but dw, he Will have his balls slapping your clit while taking you from the back if the situation (your sex drives) requires.

likes making you a little cock dumb. it boosts his ego in unimaginable way – he's making you feel so good you can't think about anything else other than him <3

will probably go a bit insane if he ever hit it raw. like there had been very few times he came before you. but this was a moment.

he'd be sooooo overwhelmed over how much he Loves and Wants you + your pussy ain't helping him at all :-(

jungsu

idk how to say what i mean but. non-penetrative stuff

dry humping, having you hump his leg, thigh riding, being used i guess? but in a loving way <3

his thoughts are somewhere around damn this is so low maintenance?? i'm not even doing anything?? and i make you feel good this easily?? this is all i've ever asked for??

but not in a "lazy" way. you know how he's always looking out for everyone? now he can take care of you only by standing still/rutting himself against you. not having to think is refreshing sometimes, you know?

in his opinion, it's sooooo absurdly hot to be able to make you cum without barely doing anything!!

has accidentally cummed in his boxers multiple times in his haste to make you cum.

btw if you can cum untouched (only by nipple stim, for exemple) he might die on the spot

if he's in a dommy mood, he will also play with you through your underwear just to be a tease :-(

jiseok

absolute menace

likes overstimulation very much.

doesn't really have a favorite method to do so, but is best with his fingers (as expected from a guitarist)

has a vibrator.

looovesss to play with your clit. will go LBLBBLBLHLLLBLBLHL with his tongue (i laughed writing this)

bonus points if you either squirt or cry!

even more bonus points if your mascara runs off!

aaand it's top tier sex if he gets to cum on you later!!

will hold your hips down and pull your hands away if you squirm too much – but if you start uttering the first syllable of the safeword he is immediately off of you.

if you ask nicely, he'll let you use a vibrator on him and give him a taste of his own medicine <3

and just a psa: i think that because of his love to overstimulate you and wreck you, he'd be one of the members who would be so down for a threesome he'd suggest it himself <33

seungmin

another menace.

as insane as jiseok but all the way on the other side of the menace spectrum = edging king

so controlling and aware of his every move. will make you INSANE, sobbing pleaseplewspelspelseseungminseungmin, have you like 5 seconds away from cumming .. and then he STOPS????

although you know the orgasm will hit you harder after being edged, you cant help but want to kill him /lovingly

will get you worked up and stop touching you (you whine) only to go hard on you (you nearly scream) in any way he'd like :-)

if you favor any method, he'll be more than happy to comply!!

likes it a lot when you get a little desperate. he will shush you, say "it's okay, baby" and start POUNDING. you see stars when you finally cum <3

hyeongjun

i have a vision bear with me.

fingering. but you're across his lap. like this. (PORN LINK for reference)

really likes fingering you in general because it doesn't matter how lazy he is at the moment, he Will be making you cum! cleanup is pretty easy too :-)

his sex drive is something like a low thrum. he's not usually insanely horny, but he's slightly horny (nearly) all the time, willing to make you feel good (as long as it's not public. he has limits.)

so if you come onto him, he's ready to give it to you – sometimes he won't even take his clothes off. he'll just focus on you.

the power trip it gives him + the feeling of being in control makes his head spin... 😵‍💫

will inevitably get hard by the time you cum and you inevitably get him off then.

jooyeon

absolute MUNCH!!!!!!

pussy to his face all day. smother him. hold his hair in a ponytail. give him thigh earmuffs. could probably go a month with only pussy and a cup of water

sit on his nose. if he dies he dies

absolutely sloppy with it but insanely good

drooly boy <33333

when he's in his usual bratty mood he will be SOOOOO cocky and smug to the point you would slap him on the back of his head if his tongue wasn't making you see stars.

in a subby mood though... puppy. puppy boy. if you pull his hair, he'll moan so sweetly against your cunt :-(

if you pull him away from you while he's at it, he'll rest his head on your thigh and look at you with sparkling eyes and a wet chin, waiting for an explanation as to why you're interrupting his 5-star meal.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Quinn Hughes Edition (One)

23-24 Season Masterlist

next: two

sorry it’s short!

OCTOBER 11, 2023

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, bboeser, and 18,436 others

yourusername WELCOME TO MY POST GAME PENALTY BOX UPDATE SHOW: CAPTAIN BEST FRIEND HOME OPENER EDITION

z-baby and i (and mom & dad!) flew to vc specifically to watch quinn’s captain ceremony, and needless to say, i was a crying mess. quinn, i am so proud of you and how much you’ve grown. i know you were nervous and didn’t want the night to be all about you, but you deserve every last bit of cheers and applause for how great you are, how talented you are, and how much you’ve grown into who you are. you deserve all of it and more.

besides my wonderful best friend, one of your favorites and mine, garly, created absolute poetry tonight. in case you don't remember, garly got the final goal of the season with an overtime winner that got him a hatty— and tonight, HE GOT THE FIRST CANUCKS GOAL OF THE REGULAR SEASON!

and my beautiful blonde princess SCORED A DICK TRICK (four goals to those who are lame and don’t know what that is) TONIGHT! I WAS GOING CRAZY IN THE STANDS, BESTIE!

the canucks canucked around and found out! they won 8-1! what a marvelous start to the season and i’m so happy i got to be there for it! you guy are going to do amazing this season💙 i’m so proud of all of you!

p.s. i’m shamelessly the most proud of my best friend<3 i love you, quinny!

tagged _quinnhughes

view all 329 comments

_quinnhughes i love you so much, sissy💙 it means a lot that you and z made the trip for me! (thanks for not posting a bad picture)

yourusername i wouldn’t have missed it for the world! i’m so proud of you bubba💙

trevorzegras proud of you, man! you were great!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras thank you, z!

yourusername TEARS

jackhughes @_quinnhughes you popped off tonight, quinny! i’m so proud to be your brother

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes thanks, jacky! i mostly love being your brother

jackhughes @_quinnhughes RUDE

yourusername @/jackhughes 🧸💳

jackhughes @/yourusername 🔩

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/jackhughes ON THE FIRST GAME?!

_alexturcotte @_quinnhughes translation?

_quinnhughes @_alexturcotte they made a bet (credit card) involving me (bear) and jack is telling sissy to screw herself

_alexturcotte @/yourusername @/jackhughes WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS

trevorzegras @/yourusername how much do we get?

yourusername @/trevorzegras *i* get $50 for quinn not being hit in the face with a puck

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes ihy

jackhughes @_quinnhughes ihym

user5 I’M CRYING AGAIN😭

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes our huggy bear is all grown up😭 proud of you, man! love you!

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 thanks, moose! i love you, too! you’re officially my favorite brother

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes do i get a trophy?

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 i’m not sissy

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes then you are not my favorite sibling

yourusername @/lhughes_06 MWAH! you’re my favorite little bother!

jackhughes @/yourusername i’m also his sibling?

lhughes_06 @/yourusername i’m your only little brother??

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 let’s be each other’s favorite

lhughes_06 @/jackhughes hard pass

user77 BEST DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE

yourusername language!

jackhughes @/yourusername you and z basically sext in your comment section don’t even

trevorzegras @/jackhughes jealous?

canucks THAT’S OUR BOYS!!!

yourusername THEY DID SO GOOD!!!

trevorzegras psa that y/n/n sobbed so hard my shirt was soaked

yourusername it was a present!

trevorzegras oh my bad, thanks, sweet girl!

yourusername you’re welcome!

colecaufield we’re gonna get to play “is this a regular y/n reaction? of a pregnancy hormone y/n reaction?”

yourusername @/colecaufield watch it

trevorzegras @/colecaufield oooooo

_quinnhughes @/colecaufield we will not be playing that game, leave my sister alone! she’s carrying my nieces/nephews/both!

colecaufield @/yourusername @/trevorzegras @_quinnhughes OKAY, I’M SORRY

user91 i’m crying again tysm😭

bboeser i’m choosing to accept the princess nickname to say THANK YOU GIRLY HUGHES! love you!

yourusername oh good! congratulations on your nickname then! i love you, tooooooooo

_alexturcotte @/bboeser um girly hughes is what i call her

yourusername @_alexturcotte others occasionally use it!

_alexturcotte @/yourusername I WANT IT TO BE MINE

yourusername @_alexturcotte OKAY! SHIT, BOSSY! @/bboeser you’re gonna have to use something else, sorry!

bboeser @/yourusername princess hughes?

yourusername @/bboeser I LOVE IT!

_quinnhughes @/bboeser now i have to buy her another tiara

bboeser @_quinnhughes another?

_quinnhughes @/bboeser yep

yourusername @_quinnhughes MWAH!

bboeser @_quinnhughes she can’t get her own tiara?

_quinnhughes @/bboeser we have a princess treaty. that is not how this works.

_alexturcotte @_quinnhughes congratulations, brother! you’re no longer in the class A team!

yourusername lexi, my lovely human dildo, that song is about a sex worker doing cocaine

_alexturcotte @/yourusername w h a t ? (do not bring back lexi)

yourusername @_alexturcotte “breathin in the snowflakes” “and go mad for a couple grams” “or sells love to another man” (i’m bringing it back)

jackhughes oh my god

trevorzegras eddy WHY?!

_alexturcotte @/yourusername you mean to tell me we were singing along to a song about a crack addicted sex worker at 10?

yourusername @_alexturcotte surprise!

_quinnhughes @_alexturcotte i definitely was never on the A team

[werepuppy-steve]

just a small psa:

if you see my ko-fi linked on my posts, please consider buying me a $3 coffee, or sharing this post. i'm already struggling financially as it is but 2024 is going to be a lot more difficult for me. my paychecks are already docked $25 every two weeks for my retirement but starting in january i'll have to start shelling out $84 a pay for insurance through work. my mortgage was also raised bc of my county's land taxes going up.

you all don't want to hear the sob story, but i'm struggling enough as it is. i got a busted headlight that needs totally replaced and that alone is almost $300 that i don't have.

i've already gone through and added the link to most of my fics. i really don't mean to sound like a charity case and ik we're all struggling rn, but any help is appreciated. i might even write you a lil thing as a thank you.

(my ko-fi is linked to my paypal which is listed under my deadname so it'd be nice if you'd just ignore that lil tidbit)

[horseshoegirl]

Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 6 - Three Little Birds

📜 just a PSA for you all that I love each and everyone one of you, and I’m so grateful this group of people bring each other up online then bring them down (for context, I had a bad experience with a social media post this past week (never again am I sharing videos of me riding)... the equestrian community can be so ruthless🤦🏻‍♀️) So I’m happy I can come here and feel supported.

I apologize in advance for a sad Sadie in this one. We also have a little bit of a time jump in this one!

❗️18+, strong language, angst, godmother reader/original female character, deployments, and a Sad Sadie (She needs her own warning).

#5.9k Words

Part 5 | Masterlist | Part 7

You wish you could say you weren’t expecting it to happen. That the routine of their 8 to 4 day didn’t lull you into a false sense of security. That the Saturday nights and dinners and time spent together would last forever. 

But that was the deal when your friends were in the Navy. Time was a luxury only a few could afford. 

And your time with them was past due. 

This Saturday night was designated game night. On game nights, Sadie would rummage through the few shelves on your bookcase you set aside for games, puzzles, books and other activities to find a selection of games she thought the others would like. 

You would make finger foods, and your kitchen island would be littered with big plates and trays so everyone could come and go as they pleased. Sadie would go looking for your Cards Against Humanity set, despite hiding it in a very unreachable place, and you’d race from the kitchen to snatch it out of her hands, always telling her she could play it when she was older. She’d wait for a second, then say, “Okay, I’m older.” 

You'd laugh at her, and she would laugh back. Only this time, your doorbell rang.

You froze. You always left your front door open when you knew to expect them. They knew they could walk right in and make themselves at home.

Walking to the front door, you became nervous, weakly clutching the handle as you twisted, pulling it back to reveal the entire team lined up side by side, standing together on your porch. All of them together, minus Mav? It took only one look for you to know. 

They had been called up. 

“When?” you gasped. 

“Tomorrow night,” Phoenix replied sadly. “For at least three months.”

Something sharp pierced the centre of your chest, your ears boxed, and your throat closed shut, taking you back to that Friday night at the Hard Deck with the phone call. You barely acknowledged the pain in your forearm, where you had reached up to grip it tight, fingernails biting into your skin. Your heart, thumping hard, now aching for your friends and the unbearable weight Sadie would have to carry.

If only you had had this talk with her sooner. Ridley never made it home to her that Friday night. And now she had to shoulder the knowledge her newfound family could be taken away at any moment, the difference being it was an expectation for a possible someday, not the outcome of a random accident. 

You couldn’t help but crumble into the door frame, your head falling to the wood as the first sob worked its way up your throat. Nat immediately took you into her arms, hugging you tight. You wrapped your arms around her, weight sagging into her, as you realized you’d now have to learn how to cope without your friends being there for you and Sadie. 

“Sadie,” you gasped into her shoulder. “How am I going to tell her?”

Nat pulled back, grabbing your cheeks. “We can do it together. She’s a lot stronger than we give her credit for.”

You huffed a laugh through your tears, Nat pressing her forehead to yours in an effort to give you the strength to ground yourself.  You hated when people saw you cry.

Tearing yourself away from her, you looked to Bob, who had moved beside you. “Sadie’s going to be okay. She has you.”

Jake opened his mouth to say something but paused, mouth agape, when a voice called out from behind you.

“Aunt Liz? What’s going on?” 

You stiffened, tearing yourself away from Jake’s gaze as you turned to face Sadie, wiping at your face. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, coming to stand in the open door frame.

“Bug, we need to have a chat,” your voice wavering as you spoke. 

“What do you mean?” she looked from Nat, Bradley, and Jake to the rest of the team standing on your porch.

You reached out your hand, stepping forward to meet her with a sad smile. She stared up at you as she let you lead her back inside, leaving the front door open for the other to follow and taking her over into your family room. 

Bradley was right on your heels, sitting beside Sadie once she settled on the couch, taking her free hand into his. Nat also followed, resting her elbows on the back cushion behind Sadie while Jake leaned against the wall, arms crossed and glancing intently between the pair of you. The others decided to hang back, letting you have your space to tell her. 

“You know how the Daggers are in the Navy, right?” 

Her voice was small as she replied, “Yeah?” 

“Well, they need to go away for a little while. They need to go and help protect some people.” 

“Okay?” she said softly. 

“The thing is, Bug,” you paused, tucking a piece of her hair back behind her ear, “There’s a chance some of them might not make it back.” 

She reeled back, eyes so childlike and innocent.  “What do you mean?” 

Feeling a tear run down your cheek, you couldn’t begin to form the words to explain that this might be the last time she saw her aunt and uncles. Just like her mom, you didn’t want to explain that this particular Saturday night might be the last chance she could spend with them.

It took her a minute, but you could see the realization on her face, your silence and tears filling in for what you couldn’t say. Her mouth dropped slightly, and her eyes started to relax from concentration. What followed was the understanding, her brow furrowing, nose scrunching up. 

Then came the grief. 

“No,” She cried out, bottom lip starting to quiver. “No!” 

She turned to Nat, who smiled sadly at her as she started to sob. Rooster hooked his arm around her stomach, pulling her back into him. Sadie turned in his hold and buried her face in his chest. Bradley dropped his forehead to her shoulder as she cried. 

"I'm so sorry, Bug."

When it came to things like this, Ridley and you decided early on you’d never sugarcoat things with Sadie. Like when you moved out when you went to school, telling her at five years old you wouldn’t be living with them anymore, but you’d be a visit, a phone call, a drive away from her. She had been upset, but she had accepted it. 

Would it have been easier on her if you did sugar coat it? 

She didn’t want to let Rooster go, even as Nat reached down to rub her back. Sadie openly wept, and you couldn’t do anything but sit back and watch her crumble. Looking up, Jake was still up against the wall. Only his head was bowed, eyes closed, tensing his body every time Sadie’s escalating cries filled the room. 

It was intense, everyone trying to get through the game, eat dinner, and forget what would happen tomorrow. 

Sadie tried her best, but even as she sat beside Rooster, she didn’t want to let go of his arm, leaning right into his body as she played the game. Bradley humoured her. If he was uncomfortable, he didn’t let on.

Bob accidentally knocked over his deck of cards onto the floor, causing everyone to laugh harder than they should. You took the moment to excuse yourself, disappearing to collect dishes and retreat into the kitchen while everyone was distracted trying to find his cards. 

Plugging the drain, you turned on the tap, squirting soap into the sink, watching the dishes submerge under the rising water, gripping the edges of your counter hard until your nails hurt with the force. 

It was how you were feeling. Like the world wanted to drown you with things beyond your control, and you couldn’t stay afloat. Your friends were your saving grace, next to Sadie, and now, you found yourself wondering what you might do without one of them. 

“She’ll be okay, Liz.” 

"I feel guilty, crying like this when you guys are going off saving the world, risking your lives.” 

Jake came up behind you, placing a hand on your back. “Because you’re worried about her?” 

“It’s not just her I’m worried about Jake,” you sniffed, wiping at your eyes. “God, I feel selfish.”

“Oh, is someone concerned for little old me?”

“Yes,” you exhaled. “Especially you. I’m afraid you're going to do something stupid in the air.”

“Best of the best, Liz," he reminded you. "Or aren't you forgetting who we are?"

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”  You said, stepping forward to turn off the tap before turning back to face him, his green eyes wide.

“You have nothing to prove to no one, Jake. Please remember that when you are up there.” 

Jake stared at you for a minute before stepping forward, grabbing your arms below your elbows to pull you to stand in front of him. You let him, too numb to protest or to react.

“The both of you are going to be alright, Liz. You're going to wake up tomorrow and carry on your day like you always do. And the day after that and the day after that. You don’t need to worry about us.”

You sniffed. "I always worry about you guys."

“This isn’t anything we haven’t already done before. And I can’t say for the others, but when I get back, you, the bug, and I are going to celebrate.” 

“I didn’t scare you off?” you huffed with a smile. He scoffed, “As if.”

He watched as you shook your head, eyes downcast as you bit your lip.  “Come here,” he said, pulling you into his chest, the palms of your hands coming to rest behind his shoulders and your head resting sideways on his chest. You could hear Jake’s heartbeat steadily thumping away beneath his shirt.

It did more for you than any kind words or long hug could have.

“We’ll be back to annoying you on Saturday nights and back at the bar before you know it.” He said, his voice low and his hand flexing on your back.

Despite everything you were feeling, you believed him.

The night carried on, and Sadie didn’t want to go to bed before they left. You didn’t blame her, watching as she held her sides, fighting sleep while sitting on your front porch step, only lit by the two lights on either side of your front door.

Rooster kneeled down in front of her, a hand on her shoulder,  “We’ll be back before you know it, Bug.” 

Natasha followed, lowering herself down next to Bradley. “You need to make sure your Aunt doesn’t burn down the house.” 

Although she was sad, Sadie cracked a smile at Nat’s words. She glanced between the two of them before launching herself off the step, throwing herself between Nat and Bradley to hug them at the same time. 

“I love you guys,” she said, bowing her head. Nat and Rooster pulled her closer, wrapping their arms around her to grip each other's forearms.

“We love you too, Bug,” Nat replied.

Sadie made her rounds, saying goodbye to everyone. When she made it to Jake, he kneeled down in front of her, opening his arms as she threw herself at him. He whispered something in her ear. Sadie nodded before burying her head into the crook of his neck.

You would have observed them longer had not Bob and Coyote approached you, hauling you into their embrace and reminding you to take care of yourself. As did Fanboy and Payback, who followed not long after.

Bradley had pressed a kiss to the side of your head, an arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding you close for probably what felt like minutes. Nat butted him out with her hip to tackle you into a hug, making you promise when she came home, you’d go out for drinks.

Then came Jake, standing in front of you with an apprehensive smile. 

You couldn’t stop yourself, hot tears streaming down your face as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your face into his shoulder. Jake froze for half a second before his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. 

The Daggers didn’t seem to mind the close goodbye. Maybe they were too occupied by Sadie. Or perhaps they recognized your need to say goodbye to everyone, even Jake, given your history.

“Be safe, Jake,” You whispered into his shirt. Jake squeezed you tight before pulling back, still in his arms, as he looked down at you. He stared at you for a few seconds before leaning forward and pressing his lips to your forehead, humming against your skin.

“See you soon, darlin’.”

___

Despite the long-lasting promise you and Sadie made when Ridley passed away to be there for each other, neither of you caved in the months after. However, with their absence, it went unsaid that promise would extend toward the Daggers.  

It had been three weeks since they left on deployment, and Sadie had caved. 

It was the same routine. She’d wake up, pick at her breakfast with red eyes, get dressed and stay silent on the way to school. When you could pick her up, she wouldn’t run to greet you at the end of the day. On weekends, she stayed quiet, barely saying a word. And the minute she finished her homework after dinner (math homework returning to being troublesome), she’d retreat to her room for the rest of the night.

She was back to the shell of the person she had been before Phoenix and Rooster inserted themselves into your lives. And even as you tried to help her, she never allowed you to see her cry. She was putting up a front and wouldn’t let you help her. 

You knocked on her bedroom door. “Bug, can you please come out?” 

“No,” came a muffled reply. 

“Sadie Bug, please. I miss them too.” 

“They won’t come back.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

Halloween was worse. It was probably one of the last few times she would have wanted to go out before she deemed it too childish. Instead, she curled up on the other side of the couch, watching Halloween movies as you answered the door, not even saying a word. 

“Can you please come into the family room? So we can be there for each other? Maybe we could put vinyl on?”

You were met with complete silence. 

“Okay,” you relented, hugging yourself. “I’ll be out here if you change your mind.”  

Stepping away from her door, you treated down the hallway to your kitchen, making yourself a cup of tea before curling up under a blanket on the couch. You pressed yourself into the back cushion, cradling the steaming cup to your chest as if it would fix the pang in your chest.

You looked around. The family room table was littered with Sadie’s math homework, you staying up late at night to try and figure it out for her.  If Jake were here, he’d be able to help her, you would think every time you got frustrated. 

Jake.

In the few weeks he had been gone, you found yourself thinking about him at the most random of times. Making your coffee in the morning. Working at the Hard Deck, passing by the dartboard or the pool table. You had known him less than a month before he was called off, yet you felt his absence the strongest.

Sadie missed him too. And that had to count for something. 

You saw her, out of the corner of your eye, half hidden behind the wall. You gave her a soft smile, lifting the edge of your blanket as an invitation. She didn’t hesitate, quickly walking forward and diving under the blanket. She curled herself into your side, legs hooked over yours, head buried into your neck as you covered her, snuggling her in tight. 

Whether she was done putting up a front or the comfort was too much, Sadie started to cry in front of you for the first time since they left. 

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, you said, “Your aunt and uncles are the best. I know for a fact they will do anything to make sure they can come home.” 

“I want them to come home,” she whimpered into your chest. “I don’t want to lose them, like Mom.” 

“You know what she’d say if she were here?” 

Sadie sniffed. “She’d tell us we don’t need them.” 

You snorted. “Well, besides that.” 

She shook her head. Tugging her close, you replied, “She’d say we would have to keep moving forward, doing things because they can’t. I think Aunt Nat would want that for us too.” 

Sadie dropped her head to your shoulder. As you threaded your fingers through her hair, an idea popped into your head, a result of the conversation you had with Penny the week prior. 

“How about this?” you said, pulling back to look down at her face, wiping away a stray tear.  “Aunt Penny was going to send Uncle Mav a care package. How about we see if we can send something to the Daggers? A letter? Polaroids?” 

She bit her lip, contemplating what you said.  “I bet Uncle Bob would want to see some of the bugs you’ve seen,” you encouraged her.  

 Her next words were like a punch to your gut. 

“Can we send one to Uncle Jake too?” 

Uncle Jake. Not Hangman, Not Jake. Uncle Jake.

It was only natural Sadie would start calling him that. Oh, Rooster and Phoenix wouldn’t be happy about this. Yet, there was a part of you that was secretly pleased Sadie had, in her own way, officially accepted Jake into the group. 

He deserves a chance, right? To know people care about him? 

“Why wouldn’t we send one to Uncle Jake?” 

That’s how you found yourself sitting with Sadie at your kitchen table, sheets of lined paper and copious amounts of her polaroids in front of the two of you a few weeks later. She had separated a few into piles, each designated for a Dagger, with envelopes neatly labelled with call signs, all organized beside each other.

You wrote letters to each, filling them in about Sadie and placing them next to her letters on the table when you were done. Mav’s mostly included updates about Penny and Amelia, knowing he’d like to hear it from somebody else to confirm things were okay. 

But when it came to Jake’s, you drew a blank. You attempted to write ‘Jake’ on the first line of several pieces of paper, trying to form that first sentence, only to get frustrated and crumple the page in your hand. 

“Do you like him?” Sadie teased, grinning at your efforts. 

“What?” you stuttered, looking up at her. “No, I just don’t know what to write.” 

“You had no problems with the others,” she replied, spreading a group of photos in her hand like a deck of cards. 

“Cause I knew what to say.” 

“And you don’t know what to say to Uncle Jake?” 

While you were glad to see her mood was improving, you could do without the teasing. 

“It's different. He’s new to the group.” 

“Yeah, he’s different,” she giggled before returning to sort through the photos in her hand. Scanning through the polaroids, Sadie spied one she had forgotten she had taken. 

Something at that moment clicked in her head, her mom’s voice forming the idea from memories of overheard phone call conversations and teasing remarks while she glanced up to make sure you weren’t watching her - you attempting to start Uncle Jake’s letter once again. Picking the photo from the group, she slid it under the others in the pile before you could glance back up.

“What are you sending him?” 

“Just some photos of the hike.” 

“Oh, can I see them?” you asked, extending your hand to grab the photos she had put in his pile. 

Sadie was quicker, reaching out and snatching them right from under your hand. She threw her hand with the photos above her head while reaching for the smaller blue envelope with Jake’s call sign with her other. She quickly pulled everything into her lap so you couldn’t see her, placing the collection of polaroids inside and hurriedly bringing the waxed edges to her lips, sealing it tight. 

Her answer was final as she glared at you. 

“Nope.” 

____

You had no idea how Penny swung it, but with her being an Admiral’s daughter, you figured she still had some sway.

Were video chats a thing in the Navy? You had no idea, but she had come bursting through the Hard Deck doors one day while you were working, wanting your email address. When you asked her why, she replied, “Well, don’t want to talk with them?” 

When would you never say no? 

Sadie could not shut up about getting her own screen time with each of them, however, spread out they were. Almost bi-weekly, she was on a video chat with a Dagger. Of course, Rooster was first, followed by Natasha, Bob, Coyote, Fanboy and Payback. She even got some time with Maverick.  And Jake, who still helped her with her Math homework, from god knows where, probably on the other side of the Earth. 

You had to pick. While Sadie had special circumstances from Cyclone (She could hook anyone around her finger, even stone-cold Cyclone), you could only choose three. 

So here you were, sitting at your desk on a cold afternoon, fiddling with the knick-knacks on your desk or organizing your pens as you glanced up every so often to find the spinning ball of death running on an endless loop on your computer.

That was until you heard his voice. 

“Hey, darlin'” 

The first thing you noticed about Jake when you looked up at your screen, even with his trademark smirk, was how drained he looked. Jake had dark circles encasing his eyes, his shoulders slouched, and while you found yourself admiring the cocky smile, it was a tired one. 

“Oh, Jake, are you okay?” 

He shook his head. “They have us alternating on early morning runs.”

You grimaced. “Rooster and Phoenix said you guys are going up a lot. More so than usual.”  

“There’s a lot going on here.” You knew he couldn’t say much more on the subject, yet you still wanted to know how he was doing. 

“Have you had a chance to talk to your family?” His face tensed up at your words, his eyes casing downwards before he managed a reply of, “Just my sister and her husband.” 

You frowned. You knew he was speaking about Janet. When Jake told you he had an older brother and a younger sister, you thought maybe he had a somewhat supportive family. But now, it didn’t sit right with you they didn’t want to speak with him, let alone his own mother, while he was away on an active assignment. 

You’d expect nothing less from his father.

“When was the last time you spoke with her?” 

“Not since I went for a visit. She’s expecting her first kid in a few months.” 

You were genuinely happy for him. “Jake, that’s amazing. You’re going to be an uncle.” 

He didn’t look at you as he spoke, “Slightly worried about what this kid will be born into. If I’ll be good enough for them.”

You couldn't help but empathize with him. It was the same reaction you felt when Ridley asked you to be Sadie's godmother.

"If it's worth anything, you're great with Sadie. This child is so lucky to have you looking out for them."

While Jake gave you a soft smile, he didn’t reply, staring down at his lap for a few seconds before looking up and beyond the camera. You could tell he was getting lost in his own head, worrying about the future. The look on his face was one you caught yourself making in the mirror most mornings while thinking about Sadie. 

Suddenly, he sighed, looking back at the screen. “For once, I’m going to say enough about me.”

You giggled at him. “Hangman not wanting to talk about himself, what is the world coming to?!” 

He smiled at you. “How is the bug?” 

“She’s not happy you guys won’t be home for Christmas,” you told him. “But better.” 

“I got your letters. And her polaroids. What was she doing around an F-14?” 

You had taken Sadie to the nearby Warplane museum in an attempt to make up for her missing her aunt and uncles, hoping it might bring her closer to them. An out-of-commission F-14 had been on display, and Sadie just had to get her picture taken in front of it. She had put herself somewhat out of the frame of the camera, leaning into the shot while holding up a peace sign and sticking her tongue out with a cheeky grin. 

It was one of the first photos she had put into the pile, insistent it went to Jake. You managed to catch her writing on the back, ‘Come home soon.’ 

“She really wanted to send you that one,” you laughed. “We went to the warplane museum, thinking it might bring her closer to you guys.” 

“The both of you need to come with me next time. Get the full experience, history, you name it.” 

You couldn’t help the slow grin, your eyes widening as you exclaimed, “I knew it! Jake Seresin, you are a geek about planes!” 

You watched as he leaned closer to his camera, eyebrow raised. “And here I recall somebody saying everyone was passionate about something? Flying is practically my personality?”

“Yeah, but not the tall, good-looking Naval officer who was probably a frat boy in school geeking out over planes.” 

He didn’t hesitate. “So you think I’m good-looking?” 

“I said good-looking, not handsome,” you shot back. “Your ego couldn’t handle it.” 

“You called me handsome before.” 

“I was being rhetorical, you were trying to get into my pants, calling me the ‘most beautiful girl in the bar.’” you teased him. 

“I wasn’t lying.” 

It took you a few seconds to register what he said. His tone was serious, leaving no room for you to come up with a witty comeback, some smart retort without sounding down on yourself. You had called him a liar then. You certainly couldn’t call him one now. 

You didn’t think you were, maybe average and plain. A person who liked cozy sweaters and fuzzy socks. Who’d rather spend time curled up with a book than spend free nights out having a social life, going to a bar or partying with friends.

Everything you assumed was not Jake’s type. 

Ridley would know what to say in situations like this, you thought, what to make of him telling you something like this from the other side of the world through a computer. 

“What else did she send you?” you asked, changing the subject. “She didn’t let me see.” 

He shrugged. “Just a few she had taken from the hike. There’s one of her and I from the picnic. I have it in my locker.” 

“You mean when you stole her Sour Keys.” 

There was no shame in his grin. “So worth it.” 

You snickered, Jake joining you. The conversation had its natural pause, and the silence wasn’t awkward. Looking at Jake through a screen, you felt like you had permission to stare at him. Whether it was time apart, the distance, or longing. Or the fact you told Jake something so private about yourself, and he didn’t go running. 

It was easier to allow yourself this moment, to entertain the possibility that maybe there was something more than the friendship you were trying to build with him before the reality set in, and you reminded yourself just why Jake was so far out of your league. Why you were just imagining things that weren’t really there. 

But looking at his face, his eyes uneasy, you knew what he would ask next. 

“Any news with the review?” 

You shook your head, eyes fixing on your keyboard. “I called. They said maybe after the holidays.” 

“Liz, it's going to be fine.” 

“You don’t know that, Jake,” you said quietly, looking back up at the screen. “I still don’t know who put in the request. I haven’t been able to figure it out. Even if everything turns out fine, what’s not to say something else is going to happen?” 

He paused. “Would it make you feel better if you knew?” 

“Obviously, but the list is either short or non-existent.” 

“Then we will figure out who when we come home.” 

“Jake, you don’t...” 

He interrupted you, his tone firm. “It’s Sadie.” 

He was right. It was about Sadie. It was her future, knowing whether she’d be safe with you or without. You needed to know what, or who, you were dealing with. 

“Okay,” you finally said. “If you don’t mind.” 

He shook his head, then grinned. “Besides, the three of us have some celebrating to do when we get back.” 

You couldn’t help yourself, “Just the three of us?” 

His eyes lit up. “If that’s what you want.” 

There weren't many opportunities in your life for you to say 'Fuck it' every once in a while. Ridley told you to fuck it when she submitted your college applications and told you to move to San Diego. When the both of you decided enough was enough and move halfway across the country to escape your lives in the aftermath of your mother passing away.

But Sadie's words rang harder than any warning the Daggers, or Penny, could have given you. Jake did deserve people in his life who cared about him. He deserved a family that cared. And the fact Rooster, Nat, and even a small part of Coyote at Sadie's soccer game that day couldn't even recognize that... it filled you with anger.

Ridley's voice was in your head, screaming Jake needs you, Lizzie. Fuck what they think.

If some of his team couldn't do that for him, if his own family couldn't, you and Sadie would.

"I do." and then, "You might have a surprise from Sadie when you get back. We miss you."

There was a shout from somewhere in the background, Interrupting Jake, causing him to turn towards the noise before looking back down at the screen, “I gotta go, darlin.” 

It was true you, you did miss him. And yet, while you were grateful for the minutes you got to speak with him, you still were left feeling like it wasn’t enough. 

“Be safe, Jake. Come home.” 

You caught Coyote’s voice just before the video cut off, not thinking much of it.  

“Yo, did you tell her about the photo in your cockpit?!”

----

It was a few weeks after your call with Jake you found the courage to start looking through some of Ridley’s things. You had no idea where it came from. The storage locker hadn’t been touched since you brought Sadie home - Rooster, Phoenix, and yourself having played a game of Tetris to shove everything in. 

You always had some excuse for not going through it. You were too tired. Other things took priority. You’d do it tomorrow. There wasn’t enough time. 

Really you should have called it for what it was. 

You simply weren’t ready. 

But with Sadie’s first Christmas without Ridley only a few weeks away, you needed to buck up and open that door. If not for you, for Sadie’s sake. 

You asked Alyssa to join you one day while Sadie and Will were at school. She was more than happy to provide the support, knowing how hard it was for you. Even as she followed you down the rows of lockers, the layout making you feel like you were in a prison cell, awaiting your sentence at the end of the hall, she was a welcome reminder you could do this. 

But you hesitated when you reached that yellow door, big bright numbers taunting you from their perch above. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Alyssa placed a hand on your shoulder. 

You shook your head. “Yes, I do. It’s time, even if it's something small.” 

Oh, you wished you could take those words back the moment you saw everything. It was overwhelming to reach the bottom of the roll-up door and pull it up, revealing the numerous boxes and garbage bags of your sister and Sadie’s things. It even smelled like her in there, the small traces of her floral perfume hitting your nose, making your stomach turn.

There in the back corner, you spied a box labelled ‘Sadie X-mas”. You zoned in on it like it was a lighthouse in a storm. Just the Christmas decorations, you thought, then you could get out of here and go home. 

But another box was stacked on top of it, way higher than it should have been, with various folders hanging precariously out of it. It wouldn’t be easy to get it out.

 You stepped between two boxes, weaving your way to the back of the locker. Something sharp caught on the laces of your shoe, yelping as you twisted backwards onto a garbage bag of clothing, arm flinging sideways, knocking the tower of boxes over. 

Alyssa shouted your name, charging forward to get to you in a last-ditch effort. Bracing yourself, you covered your head with your arms as boxes toppled into you.  It hurt, sharp corners and heavy objects hitting your stomach and arms in such a way you knew you’d bruise. 

Pushing boxes away, you could see her standing over you, pulling at loose objects that were pinning down your hips. The tension in her shoulders relaxed when she realized you were okay. 

“God, you weren’t kidding when you said you were a klutz,” she huffed. 

You rolled your eyes, holding out your hand.  “A little bit of help, please?” 

Alyssa pulled you up somewhat dangerously, your foot slipping on a piece of paper as you regained your balance. 

The contents of the boxes were scattered across the storage locker, mostly papers and random notes. You’d sooner leave than start the process of cleaning them up while having to rifle through the spaces between the boxes. But Alyssa was already making the effort, gathering whatever was closest to her and placing them in the overturned box nearby. 

Groaning, you forced yourself to collect what you could, only searching for specs of white in your peripheral vision, not the words on said boxes or stopping to consider what might be in them. You were almost done, spying two more pieces of paper lying on top of another garbage bag shoved into the corner. 

Then Alyssa gasped. 

You looked up to see her holding a piece of paper from a notebook in both of her hands. The page looked like it had been folded over in such a way it appeared to be a letter.

“Lyssa? What’s wrong?” 

Wide-eyed, she looked up, holding it out to you.  “You need to read this. Seriously.” 

You reached out timidly, taking the paper from her as your eyes skimmed the page. You recognized the handwriting, though you couldn’t place where. The date in the upper corner was marked a few weeks before Ridley died, and you thought you saw Sadie’s name mentioned a few times, though it was difficult to make out. 

But as soon as you reached the bottom of the page, you shrieked, jolting and throwing the paper out of your hands. 

There, signed clear as day… 

Let me know.

Tyler. 

Tags:

@blue-aconite @tinytotontheoversizedpony @djs8891 @caitsymichelle13 @startrekfangirl2233

@emorychase @ereardon @dempy @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @daggerspare-standingby

@phantomxoxo @formulapierre @eli2447 @fulla02 @blckgrl-sunflower @mizzzpink

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Wickett ;)

Part 7 - Oh What a Night Coming Soon

[shuaberriez]

♡ basic gif tutorial!

hiiiii!!! i've made a tutorial in the past but i thought i might update it with this tutorial (re an ask i got a few days ago)! please keep in mind that i'm far from an expert when it comes to giffing but i am open to clarification and further questions <33

DISCLAIMER! there are so many ways to make gifs! everyone has a different process, so don’t be afraid to deviate from this! also! feel free to send an ask for further clarification :)

1: converting !

one of the major issues when it comes to ensuring the best quality for your gifs is making sure that you’re using an application that maintains at least a 1080p quality of the video you use. it’s not a good idea to gif anything below 720p as the quality of the video and consequently, your gifs are not going to be the best!

i) choosing a video

if you’re going to gif, i’d recommend choosing videos that are hq!

✰ Stage Gifs

for stage gifs i use .ts files! it’s definitely easier to source a performance video from youtube, but they won’t provide you with the quality you desire. if anything, use youtube as a source for stage gifs as a last resort!

for ts files, you can use:

-> rosebay

-> twitter (search [group name] + [date of performance] + [ts])

i personally use rosebay for my seventeen performance gifs but other groups do have sites/blogs that are specific to them.

psa: kpop24hours are currently not taking in any applicants atm! best advice would be to follow them on twt and keep their notifs on in case they do

these sources (at least, rosebay) are easy and pretty self explanatory to download!

✰ Normal Gifs

for normal gifs (i.e. of interviews, behind the scenes, going seventeen, etc.) i use youtube <3 keep in mind that it’s always best to use the source most reputable to ensure quality. for example, if i were to gif an inside seventeen video, i would use the seventeen official channel’s post of that, not reposts or anything like that!

to download youtube videos, i use:

-> 4K Video Downloader!

ii) how do you download youtube videos via this application?

all you have to do is:

1) copy the link to the youtube video (PSA this application only works for converting youtube videos)

2) press the green plus button on the very lefthand corner at the top

3) a window that lists the options for the video quality you want will then come up.

4) if it offers 1080p, it is almost always best to choose that for optimum quality!

5) the video will then download and you’ll be able to access it via a folder labeled 4K Video Downloader in your files app.

2. resizing and sharpening !

personally, i don’t sharpen in ps unless absolutely necessary. for most of my sharpening, i leave it to vapoursynth.

now, vapoursynth is a massive pain to download and use but it’s worth it in the end (i promise!! i’ve cried over it a lot but i probably wouldn’t be happy with posting my gifs without it)

i personally found it a bit complicated to download vs so i’ll refer you to a tutorial i used (i also got help from some of my moots bc idk how to do anything so dw if it’s confusing :sob:)

i) how to use vapoursynth now that you’ve gotten it downloaded?

this is probably the hardest part of the tutorial (at least, in my opinion) :sob: for this example, i’ll be using my 4K Video Download instead of a vlive, so if you were using a vlive, you’d have your downloads folder open instead of the 4K Video one.

1) open your files folder twice, make sure that there are two windows open - one being the vapoursynth folder (for me, it’s called VapourSynth64Portable (200722) but it depends on which version of vs you download) and another being the 4K Video Downloader folder.

2) notice the different applications (?) within the vapoursynth folder. in particular, the vapourscript (drop video file on me) one. drag the video you want to gif from the 4K Video Downloader folder onto that app, and it’ll open up a new window. this window is the timestamp window.

3) in this new window, type in the length of the video you want to gif. i personally do this bit by bit (as in, i timestamp each gif instead of letting vapoursynth run through the whole video, which, in retrospect is probably smarter but i am a Fool). for example in the video i’m giffing, i want one of my gifs to run from 0:56-0:58 of the video. so i input the start timestamp. in my case, this would be 00:00:56. and then i press enter. this would direct me to put in the duration of the video i want to encode, which, in my case, would be 2 seconds (00:00:02).

4) press enter again! it’ll open up a window on whichever internet server you use (for me, this is chrome) with a bunch of options:

5) next, you want to alter all the options so that it becomes a gif of the size and sharpening you want.

psa: all of the things below are advised options! it’s completely up to you to choose what settings you use. don’t be afraid to experiment!

ii) resizing

-> to resize, you want to use the GIF Size option. keep in mind the acceptable sizes of gifs on tumblr! if you gif something of an incorrect size, tumblr will probably destroy the quality even more than it already does and make it incredibly blurry, and you don’t want that! to prevent this, make sure to refer to this helpful guide on gif sizes for ones you could use!

for this gif, i’ll be using a 540 x 450 size.

make sure to move your gif around so that everything you want people to see in the gif is there. you can even drag the gif out to zoom in, etc.

6) input the size you desire in the width x height sections next to the GIF Size option.

iii) preprocessing

-> this indicates how fast or slow vs will make your gif. for normal videos, i use qtgmc 30 slow and debilinear. however, i’ve seen in other tutorials that it should be different for performance gifs (i.e. qtgmc 60 slow and debilinear). however, this is all up to you and your preference! experiment, and see what works for you!!

for this gif, i’ll be using qtgmc 30 slow and debliniear.

7) select the speed and debiliniear options next to the processing title.

iv) denoise filters

-> this option basically acts to smoothen your gifs!i tend to use KNLM and have actually never used BM3D before, but feel free to choose the latter!

8) choose between KNLM and BM3D (next to the denoise heading), and select the tickbox that comes up underneath it.

v) sharpening

-> this is when you sharpen your gifs! and make them look less grainy than if you were using ps directly. i personally use finesharp, but again it’s up to you!

9) choose between finesharp and VCFreq, and check the tickbox that comes up underneath it.

this is what my settings are like for this gif:

10) next! you need to alter the values for sharpening and denoise! this can be done on the coded box in the upper right-hand corner:

11) first, change the denoise filter value to whichever one you wish. for this gif, i will be using 1.8. this can be done by altering the “1.2” value in the row that has the text “video = core.knlm.KNLMeansCL(video, 0, 6, 4, 1.2, channels = "YUV”)

12) next change the sharpening value to whatever you want! for this gif, i will be using 0.33. this can be done by altering the “0.22” value in the row that has the text “video = fun.FineSharp(video, sstr=0.22).

the text box should now look like this with your altered values:

13) copy the text and you’ll notice that this window has opened on your taskbar. you will need to copy the text from here into this app - vapoursynth editor.

14) paste the text from that upper right-hand corner into the vapoursynth editor underneath the text #whatever you copied from the resizer goes here.

15) before continuing, depending on your laptop’s speed and ability to process things, i’d recommend lowering the RAM usage to something more bearable for your laptop to process without it overheating and getting damaged. i personally use 300 as the RAM usage but feel free to use whatever you want.

this is what your editor should look like now!

16) press f8 and it’ll open a new window. this will be where you get your edited video that will be good to put in ps and play around with. change the preset option to Export to MOV. and next to the header title, make sure to select Y4M in the dropdown menu. after this, you should be good to press start!

3. giffing !

now this is the part of the tutorial where you kind of get to do your own thing

i) importing

1) open photoshop and click on file, then import, and video frames to layers. it’ll open up your files.

2) what you want to do next is find the output folder. this folder can be found within your vapoursynth folder. that is:

vapoursynth64portable >> gifs >> output

3) click on the output folder and it’ll come up with another window:

make sure your settings are like this before clicking ok!

ii) actual gif making!

4) once you’ve clicked ok, it’ll direct you to the workspace. you will have the frames for your gif on the bottom and the layers on the right-hand side. i won’t go into the specifics for giffing since you asked for quality but if you’re looking for more specific instructions on how to actually gif, feel free to send in another ask or i can refer you to another tutorial!

i) timing

you can alter the timing by selecting all the frames and making it faster or slower - it depends on your preference!

ii) colouring

colouring is the foundation of your gif - it’s what makes it look good!! have fun with it, and try out different colouring! you could also look into using psds if you want! psds are basically pre-made colouring (filters, essentially) that you put over the top of your gif

5) once you’ve finished with the aesthetic steps of making your gif, it’s time to export! to export, you must click file >> export >> save for web (legacy). it’s up to you which export settings you use but make sure that your gif is under 10MB!

6) and voila <3 you’ve got a gif!

[oldsargasso]

4 Minutes ep 1

4MINUTES!!! I am soooo excited for this it's almost obnoxious. liveblogging and posting here mostly in the hopes that it will help remember what went on.

loving the whole vibe immediately. that little sob was SOOO REAL.

CAT!!!!! already this show is the best (looks a lot like my first kitty who was also a gigantic stripey-grey monster lol)

this feels shot like a movie if you know what I mean? I love ittttt

that's just how I feel every time I stand up you're not special Great

this will sound insane BUT that colour orange of the elevator/parking building is one of the colours I imagine/visualise whenever I write something set in a city and it's sooo surreal for me to see it like this

love this dude's dads cardigan

idk who this lady is but I love her and I think she should maybe marry me

backup calculator?? lmaoooo. nerd.

oh danggggggg he drove off!! we love a morally reprehensible main character

LOVE THE SCIFI god this is so good for meeeee

this is actually a PSA against speeding. he STILL hit her? girl learn to drive

I adore Bee omg "don't disrespect it even if you don't believe it"

"you can die wherever you want just not here" yessss doc

my guy was like "actually I'm planning on getting paid but thank you for the offer" you love to see it!

we were robbed of getting to see that guy (oh, Korn okay) trying to get in and out of the boat in a suit lol. I know he struggled.

exactly as underwhelming as you would expect gambling to be

I'm gonna need at least ONE of these dudes to have a different haircut

okay these two are cute!! okayyyy…good for them. give him what he wants smh. this feels like a LOT for ep 1 lmao I love it (are we supposed to know who the younger guy is yet or no)

is that cat a hallucination

lmaoooo great is just. the perfect bitch I love him. oh the lady is great's mum? ….we love a MILF.

of COURSE he's the younger brother. you know they're related because they're both allergic to doing up their shirts

tentative theory that great is a psychopath just because he has his bed in the middle of the room

the clocks…chef's kiss

they're really good at building an atmosphere that's just so heavy with dread like my skin is crawling

the visions! not the first time someone has seen dr tyme and imagined themselves getting hot and heavy with him tbh

so great just has awful spatial awareness? so relatable. we love a terrible meetcute!!

[cookinguptales]

just a little psa!

Just got an ask asking me for my feedback on a disabled character they want to write. I'd usually just reply to this privately, but that's not possible with an anon ask and -- I mean, honestly, I get these requests every so often so it's probably not bad to write a PSA about it.

I talk a lot about disability, and some of that is because I want to vent and/or talk about my life experiences, and some of that really is because I want to teach people and help other disabled people feel seen and understood. That said, it can be a really exhausting thing to talk about, both physically and emotionally.

While I actually applaud someone doing research and asking actual disabled people for input while writing disabled characters, and while I desperately want more disabled characters to be written in general, I feel like there are two really important things to keep in mind here:

First of all, you may be asking about a sensitive subject. Like -- for instance, asking a disabled person about tropes they personally do not like may be asking them to remember situations that have been hurtful, frustrating, or actively physically painful. When they talk about disabled characters being moved without their consent, they might be thinking about times it's happened to them IRL, and people think it's okay because they see it in media. (Looking at you, Stardew Valley.) When they talk about disabled characters falling into "good cripple vs. bad cripple" tropes, they might be thinking about how they've felt the need to try and be the former so IRL people do not perceive them as the latter. To a greater or lesser degree, every trope we hate is one that is written in blood. Like... for me, when I think about tropes I really hate wrt disability, my first thought always goes back to seeing Amour in the theater and having to do the walk of shame in front of everyone else in that theater. Feeling like everyone was staring at me hobbling past with my cane, even if they weren't, because we'd just watched a movie about how people with degenerative diseases are better off dead -- but that they also shouldn't be afforded the right to choose how and when that happens. I felt so exposed and so judged and like I'd been judged wanting. I went home and I sobbed. That is what I think of every time I am asked that question. And while I don't always mind talking about those things... it's kind of a lot to ask of me on demand. Some days I feel up to it and some days I don't. That's why I write about it some days and some days I don't. I really do need to be able to control which day is which, though.

Second, and really more importantly -- what you're asking for here has a name. It has a job title. It is consultant work and/or sensitivity editing. In other words, you are asking me for a thing that I am literally paid to do. This is a paid thing that some people do for their entire living. I only do it as a side gig (and only for authors who are my personal friends, see #1) but like. It's something that is a job. I'm a consultant on many subjects, and I'd expect to be paid for my time and expertise when talking about disability just as much as I would when helping an author design a new religious movement or something. (And I went to college for that!) I know that things feel fuzzy in fandom, especially when origific is on the line. Frankly, they kind of do in the professional writing world, too. What favors you ask as a friend or a fellow fan vs. a professional. Where discussion and meta stops and where consultancy starts. All I can say is that it's something that's up to each person's individual boundaries, and if you're going to be asking for free labor, it's something you should probably only be asking of your personal friends. (Though -- I should probably note here that my IRL writing friends pay me when I edit their work. Because I am a professional editor who freelances for trad pubs as well as working one-on-one with authors. I sometimes offer to do it for free as a gift or in return for something they've done for me, but they are mindful that my labor is valuable.)

I don't mean this to seem mean or angry or chastising. I get it. I remember thinking I could just casually ask these things, too, when I was much younger. But... what's a casual question for you often is not a casual answer for the person you're asking, and it's really not a great idea to ask these things of people you don't even know.

(I mean... I assume. You are anonymous. We may know each other well, which I guess is kind of another level of weird to this.)

Anyway, tl;dr, I hope you have a good journey when writing this character, and I really do think that it's a worthy thing to do. But... labor is labor, y'all, even when it comes from some weirdo on tumblr. If I decide to do it for free, that's fine and dandy! But there's a difference between asking a creative to do work for free vs. just enjoying what's freely given.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pwnyta]

I got some SALT, because UGH. The fact that there are people screaming that Toga/Ochako are "canon" and NOT "queerbaiting" are the dumbest people I've seen in a while

Like, yes, Toga is canonically bisexual AND "loves" Uraraka, but Uraraka LITERALLY says she loves Izuku in this chapter!!!! Boom!!! Ship sunk!!!

But I'm not even done because YEAH, it IS queerbaiting! Horikoshi was never going to have them be canonical lesbians, because Uraraka is the lead girl so she HAS to be with Izuku! It's been set up from THE BEGINNING!!!

Like many dudes, Hori probably thinks wlw are hot and put it in because sex appeal but it was never going to GO anywhere romantically. They're not a "doomed yuri ship" if anything they're just doomed friends because while Uraraka is like "I wanna be your friend" Toga is going to JAIL, so unless she visits her in prison, they're never gonna see each other after this damn war!

People are taking Uraraka's "in another universe" as a "in another universe we could've girlfriends" but I'm PRETTY sure she means "in another universe we could've been friends". I haven't seen shippers this delusional since the KiriBaks, it's wild

(Also for those who need those little tone indicators. I'm not big mad about this, I use a lot of exclamation points for dramatic effect. Ship what you want, but also be aware that many of your ships will likely never be "canon" but also also, canon is not the end all be all of ships. Just have fun and make sure you have a healthy distinction between fiction and reality. This has been an Anon PSA)

Well Im gonna have to disagree with you a bit. If Togas confirmed a bisexual in love with Ocha than that is canon. I dont think you can call a depiction of actual queerness bait just because its one-sided. Its just BAD representation for trying forcing Ocha to be totally cool with this mass murderer who keeps hurting her because shes sad about not getting to hurt people and shes cute.

Now hey we dont need to compare them to the shrapnels... Forced as it is... they at least the TGUR shippers have actual interactions. LMAO

Its more like the BKDK situation... yes the characters interact but one is an abusive shit head who never has to learn a lesson due to some shitty sob story and their atonement/redemption/w/e it is is super forced and lame on a story level and the other member is a pretty good character stuck with babying them despite the abuse thats been inflicted on them.

[dogstarblues]

inspired by @cadencekismet i am posting the top ten books i read last year except i am going to split it between poetry and prose - no particular order!!!!

Poetry

Nebraska: Poems by Kwame Dawes - i fucking loved this book. i loved Dawes' mastery of language, the lingering-with-purpose sentences that stretched beyond the confines of a single line, the musings on art ("and art is a kind of magic; a hallucination of meaning is another way to retrieve it" - that's a tattoo i got in the beginning of the year and its one of my favorite lines ever), the musings on the role of (black) poets in society as "witnesses" to the "silences of an epoch" and "priests of mourning." i loved the care with which Dawes expressed the brutal indifference and beauty of Nebraska's weather and how that interplayed with humanity, especially his humanity as a black immigrant in a white space. truly excellent work.

Burying the Mountain by Shangyang Fang - hey everyone? this book is fucking amazing. every poem was a fucking banger. the way Fang discusses queerness and identity and language and embodiment and distance from place and culture - like it made me insane!!! i had to get up! i had to pace! i had to babble about it to my roommate and my friends. what an excellent debut. just an excellent book all around.

Volodya, Vladimir Mayakovsky - i love this book because it doesn't just feel like Mayakovsky's poetry (which is translated with care, esp the poems on communism - indeed it's my favorite of his translated collections), it also feels like a collection about his life. it contains essays, poetry, photos of him, little PSAs he wrote about cholera, posters he had done in collaboration with suprematist artists. it was one of the most real books i'd read this year. i loved to hold it.

Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude by Ross Gay - this book made me sob and laugh at the same time. it's gorgeous. i'll never forget his poem "Burial" about the death of his father and how he lives on in everything he touched and had been transformed by the fruit tree he had been cultivating. he was in the very fruit that Gay ate. GOD!@!!!!!! breathtaking work. Gay constructs discussions of grief and joy in the same breath. his work is both a release and something to hold.

Maroon Choreography by fahima ife - this book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is a love letter to blackness in the spaces and moments between the brutality of chattel slavery! it's a love letter to black academia! it's a love letter to the cosmos that resides in every descendant of slaves! this one also made me insane and pace around. i was making little notes all over the book, esp the references to black academia! "HAUNTOLOGICALLY"!!!!!! just wild shit done with language and an architectural framework of textual form! not a word wasted. ife was phenomenal with this. i learned a lot from them.

Prose:

The Book of Delights by Ross Gay - yes i know he's on this list twice but that's because he's so fucking excellent!!!!!!! you should read his books! and this book! i adore it. it's filled with essayettes spanning a year from birthday to birthday about the little things, the common and extraordinary things that brought him delight. and the essays are beautiful. truly! i don't know Ross Gay but i'm in love with the spirit of this book. it feels good to hold. it reads aloud well with a restful cadence. just one of my favorite nature poets because Gay knows humanity is inextricable from nature! we are in it and it is in us. there is no way that we do not touch it! some of the essays were hard to read but i couldn't stop myself from smiling or crying from the acute joy. like actually crying from joy! from a book! please read this book if you want to read about Black Joy and if you want to feel hope.

At the Feet of the Sun by Victoria Goddard - where to begin. like seriously where? okay this is one of those books that felt like it was written for me. ancestral ties, community, honoring ancestors, the idea that tradition is meant to grow and change to suit the needs of the people, knowing and understanding that choosing who to love and cherish and build a life with can include multiple people! queer friendships! confronting the self! grown men allowing themselves to be soft and vulnerable and gentle, to forgive their younger selves! wheelchairs in a fucking fantasy novel!!!!! chronic illness!!!!!!! disabled people recognized as sometimes sexual beings!!! a star whale! indigenous language!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eeee!!!!!!!! this book made me cry five times and two more times i was on the verge. just a beautiful effort, a wonderful sequel to The Hands of the Emperor.

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland - i wanted to chew on this book. it's queer in every which way. it's NOT set in fantasy europe, it's based on the ottoman empire. a wildly realistic portrayal of anxiety and the ways it disrupts and drives one's actions. also the romance hfhfhghrhfhfhfhgh it's excellent. there's only one bed! let's make out to confuse pursuers really thats the only reason we're making out we promise!!! enemies to lovers! bodyguard romance!!! fealty!!!!!!!! a touch of mystery!!! and some damn beautiful metaphors. and i always love Rowland's Money Isn't Real agenda. it's one of the few books where my sex-repulsed ass could actually read the sex scenes without skimming or skipping entirely because Rowland - as they have often stated - knows that what makes a compelling sex scene isn't the body parts going wherever it's the emotions!!!!

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon - hhrrhrhgfgffghh i adore faer prose. i adore it. i adore faer constant discussions of gender throughout the books, the consistent portrayals of neurodivergence, and in this book, i adored the complete intersection of horror, fantasy, and scifi. you like weird ecology? get this book. you want an examination of the way the government fucks up black american movements? read this book. you want mushroom powers? read this book. you want an examination of how white queers harm black queers through power structure? read this book. you want representation for Black Madness and Rage? read this book. i don't know how to talk about it but if you've ever heard any hype about Rivers Solomon, just know fae live up to it. i learned a lot in terms of technique from reading faer books and just know i'll always be reading anything fae come out with. fae get better with every book and Sorrowland was genuine mastery.

Blackthorn & Grim by Juliet Marillier - okay!!!!! look, i know this is actually a trilogy but i love them all sosososososossosoososo much that i can't choose but. it's about two escapees from a prison in alt-medieval-Ireland and running off to, at first, get revenge, but slowly it becomes like. okay - prison abolition. the fey. community. confronting grief. love. friendship. devotion. forgiving the self. choosing happiness. healing isn't linear. fairy tales. tangible fucking consequences to one's actions. older protagonists! curses. slowly and gently and intentionally building a life with someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god the second book? god. will someone i know please fucking read this trilogy so i can talk about it.

alright that's my books that i loved most this year.

[ale10ander]

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur episode tier list

Episodes within a rank ordered by release date

S

Episode 7: Goodnight, Moon Girl

This is everything I wanted from Moon Girl. There's no villain, just ordinary problems caused by being a teenage superhero. Lunella gets invited to a sleepover by the popular girls and is worried about not fitting in. We get some hilarious scenes as she switches bodies with her dino (something she can do much easier in the comics), and her legitimate fears of never fitting in, or of Devil being more popular than her are crushing.

I'm a sucker for any time when a group of people come together to help the hero, and the volleyball team bump, set, and spiking the remote to Moon Girl had me sobbing. We also get jocks who aren't just caricatures. 10/10 episode!

A

Episode 1: Moon Girl Landing

This double-length pilot does a lot of worldbuilding AND introduces a strong villain while showcasing the struggles between being a hero AND being a kid. I wouldn't have been upset if Aftershock was the villain for the whole season!

When Devil Dinosaur comes back at the end, I couldn't help but tear up a bit.

Episode 3: Run the Rink

Lunella gets herself into trouble and has to run the ice rink while her parents are away. Naturally, villains show up and ruin the day. We also get the best fight scene of the series, to Childish Gambino's Sweatpants (I'm winning, yeah yeah, I'm winning)

Episode 8: Teacher's Pet

In a classic premise, Lunella is tasked with taking care of the class hamster. She doesn't tell Devil that it's only for the weekend, and he gets extremely jealous. But, he's a Very Good Boy and tries to take care of Angel anyway. The hamster escapes and Devil tries to cover up the accident, resulting in hijinx. We also get introduced to the Rat King, who was my favorite villain of this show. More of him!

Episode 13: Devil on Her Shoulder

It's the Clifford episode! Devil can't go to the movies because he's simply too big! So Lunella makes a device to shrink him down, but things get out of hand when he shrinks too far! There's a Godzilla fight at the end, and Devil accepts that being big is okay. The ending is a little cheesy, but Devil's so cute at his various sizes that it makes up for the rest.

Episodes 15 and 16: OMG Issues #1 and #2

Woah! So much revealed in these last two episodes! The only part of this I don't love is "Moon Girl" being a name that Lunella assigns to the scientist in episode 1, only to learn now that she called herself that all along.

I really loved the history here, as well as the family dynamics. My favorite part of any superhero story is how it interacts with "real life" and this show has to deal with that from now on. The base raid is extremely cool, and we end the season with a neat cliffhanger.

B

Episode 4: Check Yourself

Lunella gets extremely competitive and challenges a computer to a game of chess. She acts selfishly, ignoring its boundaries until the computer turns hostile. Eventually she saves the day and the computer becomes the guidance counselor. I'd love to see the computer return for more episodes. This is a pretty run of the mill episode that's either a low B or a high C.

Episode 10: Moon Girl's Day Off

Lunella fakes a broken ankle because it's easier than communicating her needs to her friend. This episode has great lessons about lying, communication familial expectations, and setting boundaries. Plus we get to see Casey trying out the superhero gig for a day.

Episode 9: Skip This Ad...olescence

A solid episode that's really just Moon Girl's take on Click. The lesson here is to enjoy the now, even the mundane stuff. We get some goofy AI / Time travel sci fi stuff, but the show starts with a portal to dinosaurland, what do you want?

C

Episode 2: The Borough Bully

This is the first of the PSA episodes, this one about bullying. It's got a good message, and I do like the interplay between real life and superheroing, but something about the giant literal troll, and ignoring it didn't land for me.

Episode 6: The Beyonder

Probably my most contentious entry. This episode wasn't bad, though it did show Lunella being a huge jerk to Eduardo. I could tell that Laurence Fishburne was having a blast as the Beyonder (one of my favorite Marvel villains), but the stakes felt too high for the show. The science fair would have been enough, but the fate of the world? In episode 6? Nah.

Episode 11: Like Mother, Like Moon Girl

A creepy couple comes in and tries to make the lower east side into an Apple commercial. Moon Girl becomes an honorary mayoral figure and gives them all the power they need... until she realizes that gentrification is bad. As Lunella, she starts a protest, and as Moon Girl she beats up the couple and their fancy devices.

Episode 14: Coney Island, Baby

My favorite part of this episode (which had me tearing up again) was Devil Dinosuar being afraid to swim to Coney Island because of the jellyfish... and then doing it anyway and having his whole butt covered in them. What a good dino!

Lunella has to overcome fear at Coney Island, but this is done by facing memories of her past and, for some reason, the Beyonder is here again. It feels like a little too much going on, but it's fun nonetheless.

D

Episode 5: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

This episode has some important messages about loving your body (and specifically your hair). I'm sure it's good for Black kids to hear, and I don't think many other shows talk about this at all. That said, I didn't enjoy Mane as a villain, nor the school picture sub plot and deus ex machina resolution. This episode was rather underwhelming, the worst of the series for me.

Episode 12: Today I am a Woman

Most of the time, Lunella is the one who turns selfish for an episode, but here it's Casey's desire for fame that stirs the conflict. It's her bat mitzvah, and she wants Moon Girl to be there in order to attract a Twitter influencer. Unfortunately, this means Lunella can't also be there, which causes a lot of confusion from Casey's family. I don't think I've ever seen a bat mitzvah on TV, so that was neat, but the episode overall was forgettable.

[georgierre]

this is a psa to watch drag race philippines. why, you may ask, and it's because it has all the essence and genuinity i feel rupaul's drag race has been lacking recently!!!

like idgaf anymore, rpdr is so watered down because its audiences grew outside of queer spaces and they want to commercialize drag race and make it "presentable" to everyone. they water drag (and queer ppl basically) down into unhelpful labels and it just feels so!!! capitalistic!!! and whatever rupaul doesn't get any joke dating 2010 onwards and no critique feels genuine anymore yadda yadda

BUT I DIGRESS. THE MAIN THING I WANNA SAY IS WATCH DRAG RACE PHILIPPINES. imma tell you that i was actually surprised they even produced one here. queer culture is very widespread here but its treatment in media is often reduced to comedy. even if people say they appreciate lgbtqia+ rights people tend to reduce it to sob stories or comedy. as a queer person here i feel like i'm more tolerated than accepted, WHICH IS WHY DRAG RACE PH IS SUCH A BIG MOMENT OF PROGRESS!!!!

drph highlights a lot of queer culture that does NOT stem from western queer culture. we hear of drag scenes in the philippines, queer movements in the philippines. and even if most political discussions are censored due to our oppressive government, a lot of these queens are activists outside of drag race!! not just for queer rights (since same sex marriage isn't approved and the sogie bill is just a recent development) but they're activists for sustainability and freedom of speech and the general development of the ph!!!! the show has been so informative and we're just 4 episodes in, and i'm actually learning more stuff about gay culture that i haven't learned before

++ OH THE GENUINITY FROM THE QUEENS IS SOOOO DELICIOUS. filipino culture tends to be incredibly blunt. we are very assertive, even if you're introverted, and we aren't afraid of saying what we want to say. THAT'S WHY I LOVE THE QUEENS SO MUCH. they stand firm in what they believe in and when someone chimes in they don't shake easily. AND THIS IS ALSO WHY THE JUDGING'S MUCH BETTER. obviously it's not perfect, i don't like the judging in ep 4 and i do think they go overboard sometimes, BUT IT ISN'T WASHED ANYMORE. these judges say shit from the heart. even in ep 4, which i won't spoil, they cried and cried and cried, even after the amen part, because they LOVE the queens!!

and you know what else comes from this genuinity??? DRAMAAAAAA. GIRL UNTUCKED IS LITERALLY ON FIRE. EACH EPISODE SO FAR HAS HAD A FIGHT OR INTENSE MOMENT AND IT REMINDS ME OF THE OLD UNTUCKED DAYS. actually no, drph is MUCH more intense because like. WHO FIGHTS IMMEDIATELY AT THE 2ND DAY?????? THESE BITCHES DIDN'T COME TO PLAY. they argue and insult but make amends at the end bc it's Very filipino culture to fight over small things and blow it out of proportion. we love tsismis (gossip) and filipinos tend to be REALLY reactive so PLEASEEE if you wanna watch drag race for drama watch drph.

and you know what makes the drama better??? THE FACT THAT A LOT OF THESE QUEENS KNOW EACH OTHER BEFOREHAND. a lot of the drama here actually stems from previous drama OUTSIDE of drag race. they know each other and have fought with each other and oh my god i can make a powerpoint presentation about xilhouette, marina, and minty istg. their dynamic is so unique and interesting and i am Watching Intently

but drama aside the cast are so sweet to each other :(((( there's so much heartfelt moments because under all the bluntness and the arguing, filipinos tend to have BIG hearts. we put community first more than anything and it warms my heart to see all of them just enjoy each other's presences. even in mini challenges where they act all silly and yell and bark, those silly moments show what pinoy pride and love and community is. idk how to describe it, but when you're in a crowd of pinoys watching or rooting for the same thing, you always seamlessly join into the fun. it's just the way we work, and Ough this is my love letter to filipinos bc i love us so much

AND OKAY IK THIS IS GETTING LONG BUT ALSO U GOTTA WATCH FOR THE DRAG. watch these bitches put their asian kuripot resourcefulness into use. in the last few episodes, i can't even say the bottom 2's are even bad— all of them were pretty talented in the challenge. it rlly shows how talented and creative pinoys are!!! AND YOU GET TO SEE FILIPINO CULTURE INTEGRATED INTO IT. REMEMBER THIS IS AN ALL POC CAST!!!! they are so unapologetically pinoy with the runways, from superstitions to pearls to flowers to indigenous references to historical references etc etc LIKE PLS WATCH IT. IT IS A LOVE LETTER TO THE PHILIPPINSS

[parkersbliss]

my tua s3 thoughts

uh yeah I wrote those down as I went and pls someone talk to me I am NOT okay but enjoy my panic through these bullet points and laugh at how stupid I am

seriously this is chaos and I cried a lot 👍

obviously, s3 spoilers!!!

—

Lila and five bonding :)

FOOTLOOSE OPENER??

SLAYYYYYY

i lowkey love the sparrows tho

why is Christopher a cube tho

was he born a cube or….

also they fr all died 😭😭 like damn dropped like flies

Diego’s kids isn’t real, and then, IT IS REAL

Diego being the dad we didn’t know we needed

i love Stan :,(

what is with this show and like double plot twisting you

five speaking Italian

Sloane and Luther getting married in a week???

why is it alway halfway through they make you think they’ve resolved everything and then

boom

WHY WAS IT LOWKEY HORROR BRO

five in a suit

five getting the tattoo

also I’m sorry but him carrying the skin around??? pls no

Reggie lowkey funny af 😭😭

klaus supremacy >> proud of him

Ben being a manipulator and I love it

i love fives little monologues

cried during the viktor one

“well we made some friends”

“INCORRECT”

shit made me laugh 😭😭

five sitting in a chair with the one leg is so powerful

KARAOKE >>>>

HELLO???

idk the whole scene 🥹🥹

let them be happy!!!!

ben’s button ups >

five being a wine uncle at the wedding

THE LOOK ON EVERYONES FACE WGEN REGGIE WALKS IN 😭

I both wanna be on Allison’s side but pls give viktor a break 😭🙏🏼

leave my boy alone

the wedding dancing scene had me in tears

thank you five for singing 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

BLESSED

the look with the hair in his face and the lack of a suit jacket???

GODDAMN BABE

fear is five passing out in an elevator

scene was kind of hot tho with the hair …

yeah I’ll see myself out for that

I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY I WAS GRIPPING MY PILLOW DESE GOD

psa: I love shirtless Ben

zero shame

not Reggie guilt tripping five 💀💀

also the scene of then sitting is very pretty if we ignore the whole universe thing

it’s giving what if… dr strange

and why does five just wear the same thing every season

DOES HE WASH HIS CLOTHES??

five being the tiebreaker stressed me

dear god

i hate this show

i knew Reggie was sus

BUT DAMN I THOUGHT FOR SURE IT WAS ALLISON WHO WOULD DIE

DAMN BRUH

not the wedding funeral reference to the first epsiode 🙄

I WAS LOVING LUTHER

I WSD SO PROUD OF MOON MONKEY MAN

FUCK YOU ALLISON

NO REDEMTION ARC FOR YOU

also the scene of klaus jumping?

ICONIC

sir Reginald hargreeves: FUCK YOU

WHY IS THIS A HORROR SHOW

it’s giving the shining

five back with the axe 😫

Lila & Diego are couple goals

but he’s so dramatic 😭 bitch you’ll live

LILA AND VIKTOR 😫😫

I HATE THIS SHOE

NOT FIVES ARM

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

JUMP SCARE WARNING???

LEAVE ME ALONE

also cockroaches man 🤢

but points for five being a genius boy

my mental state died with allison (is she dead?)

see you all in therapy

no seriously guys I am NOT okay

there are so many tears

what the fuck.

i was right about allison dying lmao

HE LIVED???

OH FOR GODSSAKE

WHOS ABIGAIL??

how long till s4 😭

guys I literally can’t do this

I’m sobbing on the floor

Ben in Korea?

send help or requests

jk pls don’t I have so many

therapy is ending it after the footloose scene LMAOOO

or the wedding

[malinthebodyguard]

Heavy is the head:The Crown and Young Royals

PSA: Any mentions of Queen Elizabeth and other members of the BRF in this post refer exclusively to their fictional characters in The Crown and not the actual people. I’m not a real PPO and I don’t know these people.

As a fan of both shows, I’ve always felt that Young Royals borrowed a lot from Queen Elizabeth’s characterization in The Crown for Kristina’s character. After rewatching a few scenes from The Crown, not only am I convinced that this is the case, but that I also wanted to compare how these two shows represent monarchy. 

One of the central themes of The Crown is the idea that ‘heavy is the head that holds the crown. In order to be Queen, Elizabeth has to sacrifice herself. This is explicitly stated by Elizabeth’s grandmother in a letter she sends the new Queen after her father’s death in the first season:

If we were to remove the context of monarchy from this message, it would be read as an incredibly insensitive one. Elizabeth had just lost her dad, whom she absolutely adored. She was now expected to put aside any grief in the name of the monarchy. We see how this is incredibly painful for her. Later in the episode, there’s a heartbreaking scene where Elizabeth cannot bear to see her father’s body. When she finally dares to take a a peek, the sight of his corpse sends her   into sobs. The entire set-up seems absolutely tragic. Yet in the show, Elizabeth Windsor dies so Elizabeth Regina can live. The Crown frames this as a noble  sacrifice. One that she makes for her people, almost akin to the Passion of Jesus.

We see something similar with Kristina after Erik’s death: 

Kristina, the woman, cannot mourn her son. That woman does not exist-- only the Queen exists. Her only concern is that ‘The Crown must win’. In this case, for the Crown to win Wilhelm must adjust to his new role. Like Elizabeth, we know this is incredibly painful for Kristina. We see the pain and anguish she is trying to repress. She’s unable to have more than a single bite of food. 

But Young Royals isn’t framing this as noble, but as sad and uncomfortable. Still, for the rest of the episode, Wilhelm tries to embrace the idea that ‘The Crown must in.  He tries to mourn Wille so he can become Kronprinsen. But  His grief, his anxiety, his longing for Simon prove to be too much for him and by the end of the episode he renounces this sacrifice. 

The Crown also shows us a Crown Prince struggling to sacrifice himself for the monarchy. Charles and Wilhelm’s storylines are also very similar to each other (Wilhelm, sweetie, I am so sorry... It’s absolutely true, but I’m still sorry). 

Charles and Wilhelm are constantly struggling to choose between love and duty. Choosing love means choosing Charles Mountabtten-Windsor, choosing Wilhelm the Man. Their duty is to kill those men and become the Prince of Wales and Kronprinsen respectively, but neither one of them is capable of following through with this sacrifice. Their inability to fully commit to either the monarchy or their desires drives them to dishonesty and infidelity. But even when they try to comply to The Crown, they’re unable to get over Camilla and Simon: 

In both shows, we get a big confrontation scene where each Prince informs their Queen that they want to choose love. In The Crown, Charles informs his mother that he’s suffering in his marriage and that he wants to separate form Diana. The Queen outright refuses this by claiming that it’s not Charles and Diana who are suffering, but the people who are forced to watch their disastrous marriage: 

This resonates a lot with Kristina’s comment to Wilhelm in episode 6:

Both Queens accuse their sons of being selfish and blind to their privilege. Elizabeth doesn’t even criticize her son’s actually reproachable behavior, but his inability to behave how people expect him to. Again, if we were to remove the context of the monarchy these would be pretty unfair things to say to your son. But these are not mothers. They are monarchs that had to kill their own selves for the Crown. And as the both of them see it, ‘The Crown must always win.’

Once again, the big difference between the two scenes comes down to framing. Although The Crown asks the audience to understand where Charles is coming from, it nonetheless presents him as lesser than his mother, who despite the difficulties still became Elizabeth Regina. As I mentioned before, The Crown tells us this is a sacrifice done for the people. And like his mother, Charles must suffer for the benefit of the people. That’s the Christ-like Passion of the Monarchy.  

In Young Royals, Wilhelm ultimately acquiesces to his mother. But rather than him fulfilling a noble sacrifice, this choice is framed as a betrayal. It’s a betrayal of Simon, but also of himself. It’s also a betrayal of Wilhelm by his own mother, who choses to protect the monarchy over her only living child.  

Beyond the framing, there is another key difference between how each show presents the idea that ‘The Crown must win’. The Crown justifies this belief by arguing that Elizabeth’s sacrifice is done for the people of the UK and the Commonwealth. The show does question if the monarchy is truly being of service to the people. Nearly always, the show answers this with a yes. And as long as it’s for that purpose, all of Elizabeth’s sacrifice is worth it.

In Young Royals though, this question is missing. I think this is choice was deliberate. We see that the public are interested in the Royals in the same way most people are interested in celebs. But we receive no in-story justification for why this institution must prevail, no Swedish public that is wanting or in need of a god-like monarch to sacrifice themselves for their sake.  

Of course, we still don’t know in which direction this story is going in regards to the monarchy. But from what we’ve seen so far, Young Royals is taking this idea of ‘The Crown’ must win’ and turning it into : but why must the crown win?

[ynscrazylife]

Could you please do a “being_____ would include” for Yelena being YN’s mentor /big sister figure please :) ps I really love your work you’re so talented

Being Yelena’s Younger Sister Would Include . . .

Authors Note: Thank you!

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 |  Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/marvelocks

You weren’t actually Yelena’s younger sister

But close enough

You had been brainwashed and were in the Red Room with her, so after Yelena helped Natasha take down the Red Room, she insisted on finding you

Thankfully, she did, but unfortunately, you were still brainwashed

Melina had been able to replicate the cure, though, and Yelena had one

Buttt she had to fight you first

Which broke her heart

She tried and tried and tried to come up with a different plan

But there was none

She had to get close enough to you to cure you which meant she had to fight you

Yelena snuck up behind and you and threw the first punch

You were ruthless in your attack back but so was Yelena

Finally, after lots of back-and-forth, Yelena found an opportunity and she took it: smashing the cure on the ground

The red dust exploded and Yelena instantly recalled when she was freed

The moment the dust cleared she had her arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight and warm hug

You were sobbing and shaking, whispering broken apologies over and over again. Yelena was quick to assure you that it was okay and apologized, too.

Even though you claimed that you were fine and that you’d only be a burden to her, Yelena wasn’t having it. She eventually convinced you to come back and stay with her.

Melina piloted which gave Yelena the opportunity to catch up with you and take care of your injuries

Even though you insisted you were okay

Which you were not, and Yelena found that out when you passed out into her arms

She was SO worried

Imagine Yelena when she got concerned over Natasha in the Widow fight but x10

She instantly fell into the overprotective, big sister worry mode

Smother mode is what you’d later call it, but you loved it nonetheless

She carried you back to the aircraft and wouldn’t let Alexei anywhere near you at first, instructing Melina to pilot

She did let him grab the first aid kit, though, because she was too busy grabbing blankets and trying to rouse you

It didn’t work

As she tended to your injuries a pit of guilt grew in Yelena’s stomach. She felt so bad for fighting you and was internally beating herself up over it, especially when she saw you bleeding and the bruises that were forming on your stomach.

When she finished treating you, she took a moment to just observe you

You were a teen and the memories of you in the Red Room brought tears to her eyes. Yelena remembered being forced to watch you get brainwashed before she was and how she fought and screamed like hell, wanting to save you.

At least, now she could and she did

Even though you were unconscious, at least you looked somewhat peaceful (besides the bruises, of course).

You awoke a couple hours later in a nice, comfy bed. At first you freaked out until you saw Yelena there, who was quick to calm you down and explain that she carried you to their house.

Which, of course, you blushed at. You had to be carried?

To which Yelena responded with saying that “you’re staying with me now, expect to be carried”

It was a statement, not a a question, and you didn’t mind that

The first week was difficult

You didn’t feel like you fit in and were having nightmares of the Red Room every night, but Yelena always comforted you

Which made you feel even worse because you didn’t want to be a burden

And when she found that out, she was quick to say that you were definitely not a burden

You began to warm up to Yelena and you two did a lot of fun things

Shopping, movie nights, rides on her motorcycle

She truly felt like a big sister

Two months in and Yelena started mentoring you, too

She didn’t mentor you in fighting because you were skilled enough but she did teach you some spy skills to use for good, against real bad guys

Yelena always made it fun - making it into a game

One time Yelena asked you that if you two had to go undercover, what cover did you think you’d both be able to accurately portray the best, and you immediately said “sisters”

She was stunned

Not in a “you’re wrong” way but in a “holy shit she thinks of me as her sister” way

Safe to say, there were lotsss of hugs after that

And I mean LOTS

but you loved them :)

With this new official role, Yelena had written some of her own things in the dob description

One of those things appeared to be: hush over how adorable you are all the time

In the mornings you’d come downstairs still sleepy and half-awake and Yelena would smile and insist that you’re very cute

She even called you adorable when you were fighting bad guys one time!

She had knocked out her enemy and turned to you kicking ass and said in Russian, “My adorable, badass little sister” (You then yelled at her)

Yelena loved and cherished the role of being your big sister as an honor, since she had always been the little sister

And you couldn’t ask for a better big sister, Yelena was truly amazing

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