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babybluebex · 7 months

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venus pt.1 | angus tully x fem!reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: after being accepted as barton academy's first female student, you didn't think it could get any worse. as the fall semester progresses, you start to form a friendship with the outcast, angus, but what happens when the holidays come and you are the last two students on campus? PART 1 OF ? 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: angus tully (the holdovers, 2023) x fem!reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: canon compliance (this is a complete rewrite of the film, just with the added reader insert), lots of swearing, teddy is an asshole but what's new, 70s ideals about feminism (which YES is a warning), mentions of grief/loss 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍��𝐓𝐄: oof here we go, part 1 of my long-teased angus fic! be aware that this is literally 11k words, so i apologize for the absolute brick wall of text you're about to encounter (but don't worry, i put a read more on it :) ) also, if i missed any warnings/tags, pls dm me and let me know if you think i should add something! other than that, enjoy!

There were worse fates than this, right? There had to be, you were sure of it. You felt every pair of eyes on you as you walked down the center aisle of the chapel, acutely aware of the overwhelming masculine energy that you were drowning in. After all, at Barton, it wasn’t every day that these boys saw a girl. You wondered how long some of them had gone without laying eyes on a member of the opposite sex (a real one; skin mags don’t count).

It also didn’t help that the priest at the front of the room had intentionally brought everyone’s eyes to you the moment you walked in. You had tried to slip in unnoticed, but he had said “Ah, here she is now: our very first Barton lady! Come sit up front with the headmaster!”

You anchored yourself in the frontmost pew, next to the headmaster with a hippie beard, and kept your head still and staring straight ahead. You had known very little about Barton before that school year— you were from nearby Boston, and had gone to a larger high school with, not only a more mixed gender breakdown, but a significantly different economic situation than Barton. You had been shocked, as you took the bus from town to campus, at how many Mercedes and Cadillacs you had seen near the school. You felt like a fish out of water, in more ways than one.

The priest didn’t end his taunting when you sat down, though. “Many of you probably wondered, when you got on campus for the beginning of the semester, what the new building next to the dormitory was,” he began, and you heard a few mumblings from the row behind you, confirming their confusion. “Well, gentlemen, this year… Barton has become coeducational. The new building, Blackwell Hall, named for the esteemed Elizabeth Blackwell, is the girl’s dormitory.”

The mumbling behind you increased to a dull rumble, and you slightly turned your head to get a glance at the boys sitting behind you. All high school boys, kids your age, staring at you and wondering what your deal was. You took notice of one boy in particular, the only one around you not gossiping with his friends, totally uninterested and picking at his cuticles. Before you could even think to wonder about this boy, someone from near the back of the chapel yelled “Is she gonna be in classes with us?”

“Yes, she will,” the priest said. “She is a junior, so, gentlemen, make sure you welcome her warmly to our school.”

You sat and endured chapel while burning from all the stares in your direction, and, as soon as the priest dismissed the lot of you, you shot up and made your way to the doors, clutching your handbag close to your body. The August air hit your face as you stepped out, and you started back to Blackwell Hall, where your things sat, ready to be unpacked, but someone called out to you, demanding your attention.

“Hey, girl!” You turned to see who had shouted, and you were met with the sight of a boy with caramel-colored hair, wearing a sports coat and tie. Come to think of it, all the boys were wearing coats and ties. You hadn’t been told anything about a uniform, and suddenly your jeans felt less than appropriate. The boy had a cigarette in his hand, and he beckoned you over to him, and you clenched your back teeth as you (for some reason) obeyed.

“You’re a junior, huh?” the boy asked, and you nodded. “What classes are you taking?”

You pursed your lips. “Precalc,” you began. “Ancient Civ. Home Ec. Bio.”

“Gym?” he asked, and you shook your head.

“There’s not a girls’ locker room,” you said, hoping he understood your explanation.

The boy ashed his cigarette, and he said, “What period do you have Ancient Civ?”

You tried to recall what you had written down, and you said, “Fourth period, I think. With Hunham.”

“Oh,” the boy said with a winning smile. “I’m in that period too. Maybe we could be study partners.”

You drew in a breath and cleared your throat. “Maybe,” you said softly. “What’s your name?”

“Teddy,” he replied. “Kountze.”

“Right,” you mumbled. “Well, um, I’ll see you around, Teddy.”

“Um, are you going to the cafeteria?” Teddy asked hastily, like he was looking for something to talk to you about. “I-I was about to head there, and, if you wanted someone to sit with, I have a spare seat at my table.”

“I’m not,” you told him. “Gotta get back to my dorm and finish unpacking. I only got in town today.”

“How did…” Teddy started. “How did you get in? Your folks hear that Barton was going coed and got you in?”

You shook your head. “I went to Central High School, in Boston,” you replied. “I was doing a research project and saw in a newspaper that Barton was going coed and having a lottery for the first female student. I sorta put my name in as a joke, and then, when I won, it… Wasn’t really a joke anymore. I had to take some academic placement tests, since Central isn’t exactly a highbrow school, and I got a scholarship that covered a lot of my tuition. The board of trustees waived the rest of it, so…”

“You’re going here for free?” Teddy asked incredulously. “Jesus, I didn’t even know we had scholarships.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, Kountze,” a voice said from nearby, and you turned your shoulder to see the boy from chapel who didn’t give a shit about you. He stood tall, rail thin, a mop of dark curls on top of his head. He had eyes like black holes, his pale skin so translucent around his eye sockets that he had purplish-red bags underneath. “Nobody’s going to tell the bottom scum about possible academic achievements. It’s cruel to tease people with something they’ll never have.”

“Fuck off, Tully,” Teddy snapped. “Don’t you have some porno mag waiting for you?”

The boy (you supposed his name was Tully) pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and skulked away, and you scoffed under your breath. “Charming,” you mumbled, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from his back as he left the scene.

“Jesus, yeah,” Teddy said. “That’s Angus Tully. Biggest asshole here, thinks he’s better than everyone else. God knows why, he’s such a fuckin’ loser. He’s in Hunham’s fourth period too.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at Angus Tully’s back, and then redirected your attention to Teddy, who was presently snubbing out his cigarette with the toe of his shoe. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” you said softly, and, without another word, departed for your dorm.

You appreciated that Barton had built a separate dorm for the female students, but, seeing as you were the sole resident of the building, you were irked by it. It was too big and empty, too lifeless and soulless. Certainly, they had built it with future generations in mind, hoping that more girls would eventually enroll and prove the building a necessity, but, for now, you found yourself aching with loneliness. You missed your mom and your sisters, in your small apartment in downtown Boston, just a few blocks from your old high school. You missed hearing Linda Ronstadt records playing from your older sister’s room (the one she shared with your mom), or the ceaseless sound of the air conditioning unit buzzing away in the window of your room (the one you shared with your other older sister). Barton just felt too… Good for you. But, it was as your mother had told you: it was an opportunity that you could not afford to pass up.

You didn’t have a lot to unpack, and you hung up your clothes as you chewed your lip. For some reason, the interaction outside the chapel was sticking with you. Not Teddy, although he certainly had made himself hard to forget. No, you were thinking about Angus Tully, apparently the head asshole of Assholedom. You would be seeing him tomorrow too, for the first day of classes, in Hunham’s Ancient Civ class. You had never taken a class like that— your old school didn’t even offer the Advanced Placement program, so obnoxiously pretentious classes like that were out of your realm of understanding— and you were almost worried that you would flunk right out.

You tossed and turned all night, dreading sunrise and morning. Breakfast was served at 7, and classes began at 8, beginning with Precalc for you, then transitioning into Biology. After third period free, you had Ancient Civ, then an hour for lunch, then Home Ec, then your last few hours of the school day were reserved for something that, on the fax paper that you had been given at the front office, was called “Secretarial Studies”. You hated to think what that meant (surely, Barton wasn’t trying to prime you for being a secretary and nothing more), but mostly, it meant that your school day basically ended earlier than for others.

You awoke early, showered and scrubbed yourself clean (the water pressure in the shower was better than the fourth floor apartment that you used to deal with), and you dressed yourself in what you hoped was becoming of a Barton girl. The dress had initially been purchased as an outfit for special chapel occasions, Christmas and Easter or whatever, but you knew that your regular jeans and wrinkled t-shirt wouldn’t be enough for your new shiny academy.

Once again, as you entered the cafeteria for breakfast, you felt all eyes on you. You scanned the room for an empty seat (you didn’t fail to spot Angus Tully, sitting at the cornermost table, not conversing with everyone else) and sighed when you saw an open chair right next to Teddy Kountze. He spotted you and waved, and you made your way over.

“Hey there,” Teddy said. “How was your first night?”

“Fine,” you shrugged noncommittally. “Kinda quiet, though.”

“Yeah, nobody else in the whole building,” Teddy sighed. “No roommates or anything; that must be nice.”

“Nah, not really,” you replied. “I got used to my mom and my sisters, and it was just too quiet. Not nearly enough chaos for me.”

“How many sisters do you have?” A boy across the table from you asked.

“Two,” you said. “Both older. And my mom lived with us too, so there was always something going on.”

“Shit, for sure,” the boy said. “Are you gonna join any clubs while you’re here? Or sports or something?”

You didn’t exactly love the way that the boy said that. “While you’re here”. Like you weren’t going to stay at Barton for very long. “I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I’ve never really been a sporty type. I might see if the yearbook needs help or something.”

“You could join chess club,” the boy laughed, and Teddy (and pretty much everyone else at the table) laughed too.

“Why? What’s so funny about chess club?” you asked.

“Nothing,” Teddy sighed as he finished laughing. “Except that Tully’s ugly mug is there.”

“Tully?” you repeated. “Angus?”

“Do you know him?” a different boy at the table asked.

“No, not at all,” you said quickly. “Just… Heard some stuff about him, that’s all. How he’s apparently a douche.”

“You’ll see,” Teddy assured you. “In class, try to challenge him on something. See how he reacts, and you’ll get why we all hate him.”

You wrinkled your nose at the thought, but decided to not let it bother you. You made your way to class, hanging close behind Teddy and not really listening to him as much as you were admiring the school building. It was so… Old. So was your old school, but Barton was beautifully old, whereas Central was just old. Dark, shiny wood everywhere, framed oil paintings of people; it was a feat. You finally separated from Teddy when you reached the classroom for Precalc, and you hesitantly stepped in. A handful of guys were there, sitting on their desks and chatting, and the room fell dead as you stepped inside. You hazarded a small smile, and quickly made your way to the back of the room, your preferred spot in any classroom, but you were stopped in your tracks.

Angus Tully. He sat in the back corner, close to the window, his tie loose and crooked around his neck. He was looking out the window, but his eyes slid over to you as you approached the desk beside him.

“Hi,” you said gently. “Can I… Um, can I sit here?”

Angus shrugged, as if he didn’t care, and you slung your bag across the back of the seat before you settled yourself down. You tapped your fingers on the desktop for a moment, wondering what the next course of action was, and you mumbled out, “I-I heard you were in chess club?”

“Yeah,” Angus grunted out. “What about it?”

“Oh, nothing,” you said, anxiously smoothing your skirt on your thigh. “Just, umm… I was wondering if there was, like… If you guys were open to new members.”

“Probably,” Angus said simply.

You nodded slowly, waiting for his next words, but they never came. “Right,” you said softly. “Okay.”

To your disappointment, Angus Tully and you shared every class together, except for your free period and Home Ec. His demeanor never changed a single bit throughout the day, sullen and curt. He didn’t speak during class, didn’t answer questions or even seem as if he was paying attention. It was odd. You were thinking about it as you settled into a desk in the back of the Ancient Civ classroom, and you yourself were hardly paying attention to the teacher, a one Mr. Hunham, until he called your name. “Miss?” he said, and you lifted your cheek out of your hand. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

You blinked a few times, your face positively burning hot, and you cleared your throat. “I’m sure you all know my name by now,” you began. “Know that I went to a public school in Boston, got in here on a lottery and a scholarship… I guess there’s not much else to know about me.”

“Have you ever studied ancient civilizations before, Miss?” Mr. Hunham asked. He seemed well-meaning, if maybe a little sarcastic.

“No,” you told him.

“Any experience with Latin?” Mr. Hunham asked next.

You deflated. Shit. This was that sorta school? “No,” you said, a little quieter this time.

“Well, that’s alright,” Mr. Hunham said. “We’ll catch you up to speed. Now, gentlemen— Ah, and lady— let’s open our books to the first chapter.”

All during class, you felt hot tears pricking at your eyes. You were humiliated. All these words and names that everyone else seemed to know, and you had no fucking clue what any of it meant. It was all Greek to you— Latin, actually, but that didn't matter. As Mr. Hunham was mid-sentence about some sort of war, the bell to end the class sounded throughout the room, and you instantly closed your textbook and began to shove it into your bag. “Read the rest of the section tonight!” Mr. Hunham called over the sounds of your classmates packing up and chattering. “There will be a quiz on Friday!”

You shouldered your bag and tried to avoid eyes as you skated out of the room, but a voice saying your name held you back. You hoped your eyes weren’t red as you turned to see Angus standing limply in the hallway. He had stayed quiet during Mr. Hunham’s class too, sitting again in the back corner, and you had managed to forget about him as you wallowed in shame. “Yeah?” you asked.

Angus carefully walked closer to you, and he said, “The library has tutors sometimes. If you need help with Latin.”

“Oh,” you said softly. “Thanks. I just… Didn’t know people still spoke that.”

“Not really, it’s a dead language,” Angus said. “But it’s helpful sometimes in classes. A lot of Ivy League schools have Latin courses that are required.”

“Well, thank God I’m not going to an Ivy League school,” you chuckled mirthlessly. “I’ll be lucky if community college takes me.”

“You go to Barton, colleges will be fighting for you to go there,” Angus shrugged.

“But I’m not somebody,” you protested. “I’m not a senator’s kid, my dad isn’t a CEO, like… I just go here.”

“But the name is good enough for schools to want you,” Angus said. “They want the prestige, that’s all.”

You thought on it for a moment, and you mumbled, “Thanks, Angus. I’ll, um… See you tomorrow.”

The whole first week of classes progressed at a snail’s pace. Every day was torturous— all of your classes, except for Ancient Civ, were easy. Home Ec was a complete wash, since you already knew how to sew and cook, and Secretarial Studies was just as you had feared: teaching you to type, mostly, but nevertheless skills needed to do office work. You were a little offended; you were the only student in the class, which was helmed by the front office manager Ms. Crane. Obviously the boys didn’t have to take this class, so what was Barton trying to say?

Finally, it was Friday night. Your dorm building was quiet again, and, even though they had provided a rec room with a radio and a few bookshelves, there wasn’t too much for you to do. You curled a loose thread from your sweater around your finger as you considered your next move, and you sighed as you grabbed your keys and shuffled into your shoes.

You pushed your way into the boy’s dorm, and there was a palpable change in energy. The lights seemed brighter, the air thicker, sounds coming from all manner of places. Some doors were open, the residents standing and chatting, and you could distantly hear the sound of a television playing somewhere on the first floor. Much livelier, more lived in; you wished you could have been placed there instead. You followed the sound of the television down the hall, past the chatting boys, and you noticed how conversations paused as you passed by. You despised that.

The door to the rec room was wide open, and you peeked in nervously. The television was playing some rerun of Gilligan’s Island, and boys were scattered to all corners of the room. Some played pool, some sat on the couches, some stood by the open window and smoked, but everything seemed to stop as you crossed the threshold. You made your way to an empty section of the couch and sat down, grinding your teeth as boys young and old watched you. You sighed, and you said, “What’s going on?”

The boy next to you, some kid that you knew was in your Bio class but didn’t know his name, frowned. “Huh?” he asked.

You jerked your head towards the television. “The show,” you said. “What’s happening?”

“Oh,” the boy said, and everyone resumed their conversations. “Umm, don’t you have a TV in your dorm?”

“Just a radio,” you said with a shake of your head. “What episode is this?”

The boy shrugged. “Wasn’t really paying attention,” he said.

You bunched your mouth up and sighed again, and you stood up. You could sense the disappointment as you left the rec room, but you couldn’t stand being in there any longer. You knew that being ogled at came with the territory of being the only girl at a boys’ school, but you couldn’t imagine it would have been anything like this. You slipped your hand into the pocket of your jeans and found a few errant coins in there, leftover from some excursion from God knows how long ago, and you started up to the second floor. In your building, there was a bank of phones on the second floor, and it made sense to you that this building would be the same.

Luckily, you were right. There was just as much business on the second floor as on the first, but the little phone bank was a calm corner. You sighed and examined the phone for a moment, trying to find the slot to put your dime, and you frowned. What the fuck?

“Just dial nine, and then the number you wanna call.”

You jumped in fright. “Jesus Christ!” you seethed, whipping around to see Angus. He sat in a shadow of the phone bank, a book in one hand and a half-eaten apple in the other. He looked a little more casual than he did in class, his tie gone and shirt unbuttoned one or two to show the top of his undershirt. Still looked a little Grim Reaper in the face, though. “You scared the shit outta me.”

Angus huffed a short laugh through his nose. “Thought you saw me,” he said.

“I did not,” you mumbled. “Where’s the coin slot?”

“These aren’t payphones,” Angus told you. “Just dial nine for a non-school number, then dial away.”

You drew in a deep breath and shoved your dime back in your pocket, and you picked up the phone and started to rotate the dial, starting with nine, then going for your family’s apartment number. You felt Angus’s gaze seering on your back, and you cradled the phone to your shoulder as it rang. “Do you mind?” you asked.

“Do I mind what?” Angus asked.

“Scram, man,” you sighed. “I’m trying to call my mom, and I don’t want you listening to it.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have come to a public phone if you wanted a private conversation,” Angus said, and you tilted your head at him in annoyance. “Doesn’t Blackwell have a phone bank?”

“Yeah,” you said. “But I didn’t wanna use it.”

“So you came here instead,” Angus said. “I think you like the attention.”

You swallowed thickly, anger tepid but starting to rise. “You don’t know me at all,” you bit at him.

“Why’d you come to this building to make your call if you knew that every guy would stop to stare at your ass?” Angus asked. “You knew that. You’ve been here a week, you know by now that you attract attention. I think you like it, but you can’t admit it because you have that whole quiet mystery girl thing going on.”

“Fuck off, Tully,” you mumbled. “I’m not here to be some goddamn puzzle for you to solve. And I’m not gonna fuck you if you figure out my backstory, so just go away.”

“Who said anything about fucking?” Angus asked smugly.

You glared at him and that stupid crooked smirk on his face. “Stop staring at my ass first and we might get somewhere,” you told him lowly, just in time for the call to pick up.

“Hello?” your mother said, and you sighed in relief.

“Mom, thank God,” you laughed lightly. “You took so long to answer, I was worried nobody was there.”

“Oh, no, pumpkin, I’m here,” your mom told you. “I was just in the shower.”

“Is Rachel not home?” you asked. “Or Anna?”

“Rach is at work,” your mom told you. “She picked up extra hours at Neiman Marcus. She thinks they might promote her to manager at the end of the year.”

“Oh, wow,” you mumbled. “Good for her. And Anna?”

“Started taking night classes,” your mom said. “She started on Monday too.”

“Cool,” you chuckled. “What’re you doing tonight? I think ABC is showing some sort of movie—”

“I’m going on a date,” your mom said, and your mouth went dry.

“What do you mean?” you asked. “Like… With a guy?”

“Yes,” your mom said carefully. “He’s nice, I met him at work. He’s taking me to a movie and dinner.”

“That’s…” you started. “Cool, Mom. Good for you.”

“What about you?” your mom asked. “Surrounded by all those boys, there has to be someone who’s caught your eye.”

You sighed. Your lip trembled, and you closed your eyes. You were acutely aware that Angus was still sat behind you, and the fact that you hadn’t heard his book turn in a few minutes meant that he was absolutely listening to your phone call, the little shit. “No, not really,” you said. “Everyone here is either too rich, too smart, or too… Asshole-ish. Some are even all three.” You made a point to turn your head towards Angus, and you heard his little huffing laugh before you turned back to the phone.

“Oh, well,” your mom said. “Maybe you’ll find someone. How are classes?”

“Fine, I guess,” you said. “I’m taking a class about ancient civilizations, and apparently I missed the class where they teach Latin, so I’m sorta lost. And Home Ec sucks because I already know how to do all that. And they’re making me take something about how to be a secretary, and that’s so infuriatingly sexist that it makes me angry.”

“It’s a bunch of men, in charge of a bunch of boys,” your mom sighed. “They’re trying their best to adapt to you.”

“I can’t even take gym class because they don’t have a place for me to change clothes,” you lamented. “Not that I wanna take gym anyway, but you see why I’m upset!”

“I know, pumpkin, it’s okay,” your mom said.

“Why would they go coed if they can’t even integrate girls in properly?” you sighed. “I wish I had just stayed home and gone to Central. Would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.”

“You’ll be alright, you’re still just adjusting,” your mom assured you. “But… If, by Christmas, you still don’t feel like you belong there, I’ll pull you out and you can go back to Central. But I have to know by Thanksgiving, so I can start the paperwork in time for spring semester”

“Sure,” you said. “That sounds good to me.”

“Alright, baby,” your mom said. “Richard will be here any minute, and I have to finish getting ready. I’ll be at work until 4 tomorrow, but call any time after, okay? I love you so much.”

“Love you too,” you mumbled, and you held the plastic phone by your face as you listened to your mother hang up and the dial tone drone. After a moment, you hung the phone back up on the hook, and you readied yourself for Angus’s petty insults as you turned to leave the phone bank. But they never came. You eyed him, sitting there on the wooden bench, his dark eyes focused on yours, and you snapped, “What?”

“Nothing,” Angus said lightly, sliding back into the darkened corner and picking up his book. “Nothing at all.”

That was your weekly exercise. Week in and week out, all you did was classes. You wanted to avoid as many interactions with the others as possible, so you stayed quiet during class, kept to yourself, didn’t accept invites to parties or football games or to sit at lunch tables. You took to having lunch with Ms. Crane in the front office, and she seemed to commiserate with you about all the boys. “Some of these kids are real stinkers,” she told you. “But they’re teenage boys. I think it’s a law that they have to be.”

Your saving grace was the deal you had made with your mom. If you could just wait until Christmas break, you could go back to your old school, to your old friends, and you could forget about the hell that was Barton. You kept your grades up, so that Central could see that you hadn’t turned into some kind of slacker, and you consistently got B’s and A’s in your classes. Except for Ancient Civ.

The exam booklet slapped down on your desk, a red F blazoned across the front. You sighed and started to thumb through it, trying to figure out where you went wrong as the other boys also realized their grades were low, and your heart sank when you saw all of the multiple choice questions without a flaw. So it was your essay question that led you astray. On the very last page of the booklet, you found your essay, handwritten yesterday on something about ancient philosophers, and a red note in Mr. Hunham’s handwriting. See me after class.

You could hardly pay attention to the conversation between Teddy and Mr. Hunham. Your mind was racing, wondering what he wanted to talk to you about. You should have gotten a perfect score, but something held that back. Surely he didn’t think you had cheated? Or copied someone else’s work? You thought that you and Mr. Hunham got along (as well as any student can get along with their strict, hardass teacher) and your heart sank at the thought that you had definitely somehow disappointed him.

“... Offer a makeup exam” got your head out of the clouds, and you focused on Mr. Hunham at his podium. “You’ll all get a second run at this after break.” The class muttered and mumbled, only to be cut through by Mr. Hunham’s next words: “Of course, it will not be the same exam. You will now be responsible for new material as well. Your grade will be an average of the two.”

As Mr. Hunham instructed the class to open their books to a new chapter, you were shocked, along with everyone else, when Angus spoke. “No offense, sir,” he began, and you sucked in a breath. You had learned that, whenever any of the boys at Barton didn’t intend offense, that offense was certainly on its way. “But is this really the best time to be starting a new chapter? I mean, we all appreciate the, uh, makeup exam gesture… But our families are here.”

You rolled your eyes. Speak for yourself, Tully. Your mom had to work that day, as did both of your sisters, and you gotten instruction to take a Greyhound into Boston and someone would meet you at the bus station to bring you home. It wasn’t exactly the best plan, but it was what worked. Your mom had arranged with Barton to let you back on campus during break to empty your dorm room, and you sighed a thing of relief. Almost done. You were so close to leaving Barton in your dust and washing your hands of the entire school.

“Most teachers have already canceled class,” Angus continued. “We have chapel in forty minutes, then we’re out of here. I mean, our heads are elsewhere.”

“And where exactly is your head, Mr. Tully?” Mr. Hunham asked, and Angus shrugged.

“Uh, I don’t know. St. Kitts.”

Jesus. Of course Angus Tully was going to fuckin’ St. Kitts for Christmas. You would be lucky if your family could afford to have the heat turned on for Christmas.

Your annoyance turned to dire anger when Mr. Hunham decided to scrap the idea of a makeup exam and dismissed the class without another word. You hurried to shove your exam booklet in your bag, and you glared at Angus as you edged out of your row. “Thanks a lot, dick,” you mumbled, then left the room, not even waiting to see Angus’s response. Your heart raced as you tailed Mr. Hunham, and you finally called his name as he approached the door to his private office.

“Ah, Miss,” Mr. Hunham chuckled. “Yes, yes, let’s sit down and discuss your exam.”

“I-I didn’t do anything wrong,” you said hurriedly as he unlocked the office door. “I didn’t cheat or plagiarize, you didn’t even mark off any points. I don’t understand why I failed.”

Mr. Hunham said nothing as he led you into his office, and you wrinkled your nose. God, it smelled bad in there. Nevertheless, you sat down in one of the chairs across from his desk, and you waited with bated breath as he sat down in his seat. He examined you for a moment, for long enough for you to start to feel weird under his walleyed gaze, and, finally, he said, “In actuality, Miss, you didn’t fail. You got the highest score in the class.”

“B-But I got an F…” you protested. “Angus Tully got a B!”

“I wrote an F on your paper, but you actually got a 98,” Mr. Hunham told you. “Near-perfect score, I only took off in your essay question for misspelling ‘Periclean’.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. “Then, why’d you write an F on my paper?”

“Because I was disappointed in you,” Mr. Hunham said. You felt sick. Your skin was hot and your stomach roiled, and hot tears pricked at your eyes. “I heard from Ms. Crane that you were leaving Barton.”

You nodded silently.

“And why is that?” Mr. Hunham asked.

You sighed. “I miss my old school,” you admitted with a thick throat. “My old friends. Nobody likes me here, and I… Just think I’d be better off back home. I’m not a Barton person.”

“What is a Barton person to you, Miss?” Mr. Hunham asked. His hands were clasped at his chin, his bifocals in his fist. He seemed genuinely concerned about you.

“Someone not me,” you said. “Rich… Smart… Important. All those guys are gonna go to good colleges, and I’m gonna be stuck waiting tables my whole life.”

“You are smart, Miss,” Mr. Hunham told you. “You passed all your classes with flying colors, you made Latin look like a piece of cake. If you wanted to, you could go to any college in the country. Or the world!”

“I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that stupid lottery,” you mumbled. “I don’t belong here, sir, we both know that.”

Mr. Hunham fixed his mouth in a thin line and sighed, and he said, “Of course. Well, I do hate to see you go. Your essay on the siege of Troy was… Very good.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled. “Umm, have a nice Christmas, I guess… See you around.”

Chapel that day felt exactly the opposite to your first chapel at Barton. The dread that had filled the air at the beginning of the semester had now changed to an excitement about going back home, and, even though you still felt like everybody was staring at you, you couldn’t shake the feeling. You were done. You had made it. After you moved during break, you’d never have to lay an eye on Barton or any of those boys ever again. You had to admit that you were going to miss Ms. Crane, and maybe even Mr. Hunham too, but the positives far outweighed the negatives.

After chapel let out, you hurried back to Blackwell Hall and grabbed your suitcase and changed out of your nice dress, and you made your way to the front of campus, where a Greyhound bus sat, waiting to take kids into the city. You stepped on board, taking a seat towards the back of the bus, and you looked out the window at one last gaze at Barton Academy. Although, you couldn’t admire the architecture or the pretty way the snow glistened in the midday sun. No, you could only see the tall, lanky, dark-haired kid standing on the steps of the chapel, waiting for someone.

Even though you despised Angus Tully and didn’t really care if he lived or died, it was a sad sight to see him waiting like that. He looked so dismayed and forlorn, his suitcase at his feet, his hands in the pockets of his winter jacket. Maybe in another world, you and Angus could have been friends. Your mind wandered, thinking of meeting Angus somewhere else— your mind conjured the image of a bookstore, reaching for the same book and having a little back and forth on who should have it, before Angus acquiesced, but not before writing his phone number in the book.

The rumble of the bus nearly lulled you asleep on the two and a half hour drive to Boston, and you roused yourself as the bus pulled into the station. Gathering your things, you departed, along with a handful of other Barton boys. They quickly found their families that were waiting on them, and you wandered through the station. Your mother hadn’t indicated who would be picking you up, or where in the station to meet them, and you made your way to a payphone. You were sure she was at work, but you wondered if you could call the restaurant and ask for her. Before you could put your dime in the phone, though, you heard your name being called, and you looked to see an older man smiling at you from across the room.

Fear flashed hot in your face, but you kept your composure as the man approached you. “Hey, you look just like how your mom described you,” he laughed. “I’m Rich.”

“Who?” you asked.

“Rich,” he repeated. “I’ve been seeing your mother for a few months. She’s working the afternoon shift, and your sisters are both busy, so your mom asked me to get you.”��

“Oh,” you nodded. “Right, yeah. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You seem tired,” Rich told you. “Long day?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you chuckled. “I’m just glad to be done with Barton, that place can go to hell.”

“I thought Barton was a boys’ school,” Rich mumbled.

“It’s a long story,” you sighed. “But whatever, that’s in my rearview now.”

“Alright,” Rich said. He seemed confused, but he took up your suitcase for you. “We already put fresh sheets on the pullout, so when we get back, you can take a nap if you want—”

“The pullout?” you repeated. “Am I not sleeping in my room?”

Rich winced. “Ah, well,” he began. “You see, my daughter is sleeping there, and—”

“Your—” you started. “Why is she in my room?”

“The bed was vacant,” Rich shrugged. “She’s lived there for a few months now.”

“And why is your daughter living with my mom?” you asked. “Do you… Did you move in?”

“Well, when your mother and I got married, we figured it was the logical thing to do.”

Your heart nearly stopped. Married. Your mother had gotten married, and hadn’t told you a single thing about it. No wedding invite, no pictures, not even a ‘hey, Rich and I are getting hitched!’ You felt sick and lightheaded, and you tried to take a steadying breath. It just sounded all shaky and unsure, though, and it made you feel even worse. “I, uh…” you began. “I…”

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” Rich asked, and the camel’s back broke. Nobody can call you that but your mom.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” you asked. “Rolling in here, doing all this bullshit, and for what? Are you trying to prove something? Win an award or what? Let’s see how quickly we can marry the single mom, that’ll go down great with her three adult children!”

“Rachel and Anna said they were okay with it,” Rich said.

“But you didn’t ask me!” you cried. “God, this is exactly what she wanted, huh, throw me in a boarding school and forget all about me? Fuck this, I don’t need this.” You snatched your bag from Rich and turned on your heel quickly, and you didn’t even hesitate when Rich called “Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here!”

You begged and pleaded with the Greyhound driver to take you back to Barton. He said that he had to stick to a schedule and was really sorry, but he changed his tune when you dug into your bag and grabbed your pocketbook, pulling out a few 20s. You didn’t have a lot of money in the first place, and watching those bills go in his pocket hurt, but, in the end, you got back to Barton just as the sun was starting to set. You knew that whoever was staying over break would be shocked to see you (maybe even elated, depending on who it was), but you didn‘t care about reactions. You just didn’t want to think at that moment.

You followed the low din of boyish muttering to the cafeteria, and you steeled your nerves for entering. You could discern only two voices, maybe a third if you listened through the thick door hard enough, and you quickly pushed on the metal handle in the middle of the door to slam the door open.

Heads whipped towards you. You didn’t recognize a lot of them— some younger kids, and a guy that was on the football team and was a senior— and your heart sank into your stomach when you saw Teddy Kountze sitting at the dinner table. So you would be spending Christmas break with Teddy. Great.

But the bad feeling got worse when you saw who was sitting one seat down from Teddy. Angus fucking Tully. He stared at you with no joy or humor in his eyes, and you huffed out a breath.

“Miss?” Your gaze went to the head of the table, and a little bit of relief washed over you as you saw the face of Mr. Hunham. Was he supervising the holdovers? “What’re you…?”

“Got room for one more?” you mumbled, approaching the table and securing the seat between Teddy and Angus. You instantly reached for the serving dishes, wanting anything to occupy your shaking hands, and you slowed to a stop as you noticed the whole table staring at you; even Angus wasn’t trying to hide it, his black eyes as big as dinner plates. “What?” you barked, and the energy resumed at the table in a snap.

Dinner was finished soon after, and Mr. Hunham pulled you into the hall as the boys were cleaning up. “I thought you were going home to Boston for the holiday?” he asked gently.

“I can’t…” you started. “It seems like I don’t even have a place in my own family.”

“What do you mean?” Mr. Hunham asked.

“My mom got married without telling me,” you told him. “And the guy and his daughter moved into our apartment, which could barely fit me and my mom and sisters in the first place, and now they’re there, a-and she’s in my room! That fucking bitch is in my room, and I-I—”

“Easy, easy,” Mr. Hunham said, putting his hand out to placate you. “Calm down. Listen, I understand that this is hard, it’s awful, but resorting to that is not what’s going to help you. We’ll find a place here for you tonight, and tomorrow we can call your mother and try to get this straightened out.”

“Can I not go to my dorm?” you asked.

“The school shut off heating and plumbing everywhere except the main building,” Mr. Hunham explained. “We’re sleeping in the infirmary.”

“Jesus Christ,” you huffed. You were so angry that you could kick something. “So now I gotta bunk up with them?”

“It’s definitely not ideal,” Mr. Hunham mumbled. “But it’s just for one night. We can put up a partition, if that would make you more comfortable.”

“Fuck it, whatever,” you sighed. Your eyes hurt, and a headache was starting to throb at your skull, and you said, “I don’t care.”

The boys were split into two rooms, the youngers (and Angus) in one, and Teddy and Jason in the other. The only other empty bed was in Teddy and Jason’s room, and you were quick to settle in and start off for the bathroom. Just as you were leaving, though, a beanpole in a white shirt and flannel pajama pants stopped you in the doorway.

“Hey,” Angus said curtly. “Where’re you going?”

“Shower,” you told him. “Brush my teeth, stuff like that.”

“Why did you come back?” Angus asked. “A little birdy told me that you were quitting Barton.”

“I…” you started. You wanted to tell him everything, but you were worried about the leverage he’d have if he knew. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“Nah, I think it is,” Angus said with narrowed eyes. “We know why everybody is holding over. His parents are on a mission trip, his family is in Korea, Kountze The Cunt’s having his house remodeled, and Jason’s dad is waiting for him to cut his hair. Why’re you here?”

“Why’re you here, Angus?” you asked. “I thought you were going to St. Barts or St. Kitts or something.”

“Obviously not,” Angus said quickly.

“Then, I’m obviously not quitting Barton,” you said, and instantly regretted it. “I might be… Haven’t decided yet.”

“What, don’t you like it here?” Angus asked. “Isn’t it a glorious beacon of education and brotherhood—” He stopped himself, dramatically clenching his fist in front of his face. “Oh, that’s right. Brotherhood.”

“Shut up,” you huffed.

“C’mon, man, leave her alone,” you heard Jason start from the room behind you, but Angus either didn’t hear or didn’t care.

“You left, and then came back,” Angus said. “What’s wrong? Mommy decided she didn’t want you anymore?”

You couldn’t help yourself from letting your tears spill over your lashes, and you clenched your teeth. Angus held your eye contact for longer than you thought he would, and he only averted his eyes when your tears gathered at the corner of your mouth. You drew in a shaking breath, aware that everybody was staring at you, watching you cry, and you sniffled and left the room without another word. The showers were empty, and you jerked the handle to start the water, then locked the door to the room.

Your tears flowed freely then, and you sat on the tile floor and sobbed into your hands. You hoped that Angus could hear you crying from down the hall, and you hoped that he felt bad about his words. Knowing him, though, he had forgotten about you as soon as you left his eyeline.

By the time you finished your crying and your shower, the lights were off in both the rooms, a soft snoring coming from Teddy and Jason’s (and your) room. Your pajamas didn’t feel like they were enough for the cold in the infirmary, and you edged by the snoring Teddy in his bed to get to yours. The sheets were crinkly and dry and rough, and you bundled the wool blanket up to your chin as you tried to sleep.

That was destroyed, though, when you heard a “Psst!” come from the doorway.

You sighed. “Fuck off, Angus,” you mumbled sleepily.

“Just— Can I—?” Angus huffed. “I’m trying to apologize to you.”

“I don’t want your fuckin’ apology,” you said. “Just leave me alone.”

“I shouldn’t have said that to you,” Angus whispered. “I was… Out of line. Or projecting or something, I don’t know. My mom and stepdad went to St. Kitts, but uninvited me so they could celebrate their honeymoon. I guess I’m just familiar with how it feels to not be wanted.”

You sighed and rolled over to face the doorway, and you settled yourself up on your elbows. “Can you just…” you started. “Think before you speak? I know it doesn’t really seem to matter to you, but sometimes, words hurt. Like, really hurt.”

“I know,” Angus mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“You really have to work on not being a huge asshole,” you told him. “You know, nobody here likes you. They all call you names and shit.”

“I know,” Angus said. “I don’t care. But you’ve gotta try to not be so judgmental. I think you write off everyone here because we’re from different tax brackets. Some of us don’t have it easy.”

You pressed your lips together. “Fair enough,” you said finally. “I’ll, um… Keep that in mind.”

“Alright,” Angus said. “Good night, then.”

“‘Night,” you said, and you watched Angus stalk out of the doorway and back to his room. You sat for a few moments more, thinking about how easily Angus had read your thoughts, and you wondered if the other boys could see right through you as easily. You were almost humiliated all over again at the thought that everyone could read you like that, but it didn’t matter. When the morning came, you’d call your mother and work out whatever the problem was, and you would be home in Boston by the next night.

It didn’t work out that way. You called your mother twice in the morning; the first time, she didn’t pick up the phone, and the second, she would hardly talk to you. “Mom, I just wanna know what happened,” you pleaded. “Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would’ve been supportive!”

“Would you?” your mother asked.

“Yes!” you sighed. “I wouldn’t have been happy, but I would’ve accepted it if you were happy!”

“Then, why can’t you accept it now?” she asked.

“Because you didn’t tell me!” you replied. “You didn’t ask me how I felt about it, if I wanted it to happen, if I even like the guy— I hadn’t even met him once before you did it!” You paused, chewing your lip, and you said, “Mom. Tell me the truth. Are you pregnant?”

“No, pumpkin, I’m not,” she sighed, but you could tell she was nearing her wit’s end.

“Is that why you hurried to marry him?” you asked. “I-I’m telling you, I don’t care that you got married, I’m just upset because you didn’t tell me!”

“Okay, stop,” your mom said firmly. “I thought you’d be happy for me, baby.”

Anger flared in your stomach. “Dad hasn’t even been gone for a full year yet,” you mumbled. “And you’re already replacing him.”

“We all mourn differently, pumpkin,” she said. “I’m sorry that you can’t see that Rich makes me happy. I... I don’t feel lonely with him.”

“Well,” you sighed. “If this is how you mourn Dad, I don’t think I wanna come home. I think I’ll stay at Barton.”

“Where are you gonna go after the holiday ends?” your mom asked.

“Staying here,” you said plainly. “I can personally go up to Central and withdraw my paperwork over break. If you want to erase me and my father from your life so bad, then you’ve got your fuckin’ wish.” You slammed the phone back on the receiver with shaking hands, and you turned to leave the front office, only to run straight into—

“Fuck off, Angus,” you sniffled, side-stepping him and starting down the hall, back to the infirmary.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Angus said quickly, snatching your wrist in his hand and tugging you back. “What happened? Are you going home?”

“No,” you sighed. “I’m staying here. I never wanna see any of them again.”

“You said something about your dad…” Angus mumbled. “Is that true? Your dad’s dead?”

You wiped at your eyes, and your chest went hot. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” you mumbled.

Angus sighed, and, for once, he did something nice for you. He pulled you into an embrace, not too tight but not so loose that it felt like he didn’t care, and you pressed your cheek into his shoulder. “My dad’s dead too,” Angus whispered. “You don’t have to talk about it, but… I sorta get it.”

You sniffled again, and you finally let your arms wrap around Angus’s thin body. You sat in silence for a moment, hugging each other, and you only parted when you heard a small scuttle from down the hall, near the infirmary door. Your head turned to see the youngest kid, Alex, standing, watching you two, and you stepped away from Angus and wiped your face. “Guess I’m staying,” you mumbled.

“Guess so,” Angus echoed.

The days were monotonous. Hunham would wake you up when the sun rose with a declaration of “It’s daylight in the swamp!”, and you would go through the routine of studying, then exercise, then more studying, then a little bit of free time. In the absence of gym class for months, the exercising was a little difficult, and you were left exhausted and panting every time, and you felt awkward with the guys around. However, after that brief moment with Angus, he had started to be… Better. He was still a dick most times, but he would do little things for you now; pass you the lunch dishes instead of sliding them in your direction, offer to sharpen your pencil during study time. It seemed that finding a similarity had broken his shell for you a bit, and you appreciated it.

You had taken to helping the cook with meals. Mary Lamb was a good woman that you had minimally interacted with (she had come and given a lesson in Home Ec about cooking, which really nobody paid attention to, but you had made a point to), and you felt a special kinship with her because of her Curtis. She was the only one you told the truth about your father to, and you knew that Mary wouldn’t say anything to the others about it. She seemed as if she appreciated the help in the kitchen, especially from someone who was competent there like you were. You liked talking to Mary, hearing her stories and letting her hear yours.

Just as you were starting to think that maybe break wouldn’t be all that terrible, less than a week into it, things changed. You shivered in the cold library, despite your sweater, and you tried to focus on the textbook in front of you, but it was nearly impossible. Angus was sitting next to you, and, every so often, his hand would inch out and he would doodle a little figure in the corner of your notebook. You rolled your eyes jokingly at him, trying not to laugh so Hunham wouldn’t fuss at you, and you shifted in your seat a bit to reach Angus’s notebook. You began to crudely sketch him, big dark eyes and messy hair, and he stifled a snort. Mean, he wrote underneath your sketch.

Accurate, you countered.

Before either of you could write anything else, there came an odd sound from outside. It was quiet at first, but it grew louder and louder, and you looked upwards, as if the ceiling of the library would allow for any sort of view of what the noise was. It was a loud chopping noise, growing ever louder and louder, drawing the attention of all of you, and even Hunham closed his book and said “What the hell is that?”

But, from across the table, a smile grew on Jason’s face, a knowing grin, and, all at once, everybody stood from their seats and went to the window. You couldn’t see as well as the others, being shorter than everyone else, but Angus put a gentle hand on your side and pushed you in front of him, letting you get closer to the window. His hand, positioned just above your hip on your torso, made a shiver run down your spine, but you attributed it to the sight of a goddamn helicopter buzzing overhead, lowering itself onto the snowy, abandoned football field. “I knew it!” Jason exclaimed. “He finally caved, the big softie!”

“What the fuck is that?” you asked quickly.

“Jason’s dad owns a helicopter,” Angus explained under his breath as Jason pushed away from the window with excitement.

“Any of you guys like to ski?” Jason called as he left the library, and the younger boys gasped with excitement. You all caught onto the idea at the same time, and the boys filed out, following Jason, but you stayed still at the window, watching the helicopter’s blades slow to a stop.

“Miss?” Hunham asked, and you closed your eyes. “Aren’t you going with them?”

You shrugged, hoping to seem less hurt than you actually were. “I can’t,” you said. “I don’t have any skiing gear or whatever, I’ve never even done it before… And anyway, I’m not about to call my mom to ask for permission to do that.”

You sat in the hallway outside the office as Hunham called all of the boys’ parents, being granted permission for the excursion, listening as each boy reacted with glee. It felt like a sick joke; of course you were left all alone again. Before you could ruminate on it for too long, the beanpole came and sat himself next to you, quiet as he scratched absently at his chin.

“Want me to get you anything from up there?” Angus asked. “Fridge magnet or postcard or…?”

You shook your head. “No,” you managed with a heavy, thick throat. “Thanks, though.”

Angus sighed, his eyebrows furrowing together as his jaw tightened, and he tilted his head towards you. His dark eyes looked soft, kinder than you had ever seen from him or thought was capable, and he said, “Sorry.”

You couldn’t help yourself. Your tears spilled and you clawed your fingernails into your palm, trying to stop from sobbing and heaving, and Angus moved closer to you, until his hip touched yours. He slung a skinny arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his body, his hand gently pressing into your head and ushering you to hide in his neck. He shushed you, whispering “If Hunham sees you crying, he’ll think I did it”, which did nothing other than make you laugh a little and sniffle hard.

You quickly parted from Angus’s warmth, wiping your eyes with your hand and seeing your mascara smear on the back of your hand. “Gonna go to the bathroom…” you mumbled, and Angus nodded, keeping his seat as you stood up and hurried down the hall. The women’s bathroom next to the office was hardly used, only ever you, Ms. Crane, and the lone visitor using it, and you clutched the porcelain sink as you gasped for breath. Jesus Christ. Would anything ever go your way? Being stuck at Barton over the holidays with the other boys sucked, sure, but now you were all alone with Hunham and Mary. Alone again. You wondered if you’d always be alone.

You ripped off a paper towel and dabbed at your eyes, trying to fix your makeup, and you pressed cold water to your face to try to calm yourself down. Fuck everything about this. It was unfair. Maybe Hunham would take it easy on you, loosen the reins a little. You trashed the paper towels and adjusted your sweater, trying to seem put-together, and you stepped out of the bathroom to see Hunham and Angus standing outside the office, embroiled in an intense conversation. “... Just one more time, please,” you heard Angus say, and Hunham put his hand up.

“There’s no point,” Hunham said. “The front desk says they’re not answering. He says they’re away on some excursion.”

You started closer, and you watched Angus’s face fall, his eyes narrowing. He mumbled something under his breath, and Hunham harrumphed. “I’m as disappointed as you are, if not more so,” he said. “I could’ve been spending the rest of my vacation reading mystery novels.”

“Angus?” you said, and he slid his eyes over to you. “Are you… What’s happening?”

Angus shot Hunham a deathly look, and he side-stepped your teacher, brushing past you, his arm knocking your shoulder. You locked eyes with Hunham, then quickly turned and started off after Angus. His long legs had carried him down the hall quicker than you were capable of, and you sped up a bit. “Angus!” you called for him, and you finally came up on him at the door to the infirmary, taking his arm in your hand. “What’s going on?”

“I’m staying here,” he said bitingly. “Mom and Stanley aren’t answering their phone.”

On some level, you were glad Angus was staying. At least it wouldn’t be just you there. And you were glad it was Angus, as opposed to Teddy or someone else. “Oh,” you managed. “Well, umm…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Angus said flatly. He leaned up against the doorway to the infirmary, listening to the other boys packing up, and he added, “In fact, I’d rather you didn’t say anything.”

You sighed, flicking your eyebrows. “Got it,” you mumbled. Your eyes lifted from the floor to see Ye-Joon, bag in hand, and he softly bid Angus a happy holidays, giving you a curt smile as he edged out of the infirmary. Jason lightly touched Angus’s arm as he told him to take care, doing the same to you before he departed, and you made eye contact with Teddy as he shouldered his bag. He didn’t have his sights set on you, though; he spoke to Angus.

“I guess that just leaves you and the chick, huh?” Teddy asked. “Be sure to do all your homework— and no funny stuff while we’re gone.”

If you could have swung a punch at Teddy, you would have. All the boys at Barton were the exact fucking same— Secretarial Studies, sex jokes, it was never-ending and never-changing. You watched Angus’s neck go flushed, and Teddy added, “Oh, almost forgot! I found that picture you were looking for.” Quickly, he stuck a square Polaroid in Angus’s shirt pocket, and a smile crossed Teddy’s face. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Tully. You too, Miss. See you after break.” He winked at you, making your skin crawl, and he departed the room with a chuckle as Angus snatched the picture from his pocket. From your vantage point, you couldn’t see what it was, only the back that read HAPPY HOLIDAYS, but Angus’s mouth screwed up at it, and he flicked it down onto the ground. Your eyes followed it, and you saw a portrait of a family, a mom and dad and a boy, and you recognized the dark eyes and sunken features of the boy. But, in a blank space of the picture, in Teddy’s handwriting, an arrow pointed to the boy and declared “Fuckwad”.

The cold was biting, even through your coat, as you stood on the football field and watched the boys load into the Smith’s helicopter. Your hands were deep in your pockets as you stared into space, wondering if it could get any worse. As the helicopter took off, the wind blew your hair back, and you watched as it rose, up, up, and away. A heavy energy fell over you three, and your teacher let out a heavy sigh. “Well, let’s make the best of it,” Hunham said, flat but trying to put fake life into his words. The look in Angus’s eyes was harsh enough to kill, and Hunham averted his gaze from him over to you, his two little wards, the holdovers. “Shall we?”

#angus tully #angus tully x reader #dominic sessa #dominic sessa x reader #the holdovers

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synamartia · 2 months

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[ Featured Artwork © lustylita ] ❀ [ Featured Divider © cafekitsune ]

[ Story © synamartia ] ❀ [ Text Banner created via Text Studio ]

Content Warnings: Alastor x Reader ; Afab!Reader ; No pronouns or Y/N used ; Use of gendered pet names like "good/dirty girl" ; Explicit / MDNI / 18+ ; Sexual situations ; Sex pollen tripe (Love Potion) ; Hematolagnia (blood play) ; Biting ; Dom!Alastor ; Face-sitting ; Dirty talk ; Unprotected sex ; Vaginal penetration ; P in V sex ; Creampie ; Overstimulation ; Alastor is his own CW ; If I missed any, let me know! Word Count: 6,542 Summoning: @hazelfoureyes ; @minkdelovely ; @sugoi-writes ; @fraugwinska ; @lustylita ; @eris-norwega ; @rapturenyx ; @sirens-and-moonflowers ; @swagkittybear ; @l3rittany ; @chibistar45 ; @aceumbrellaheroes ; @pearly-sadness ; @mydickisjuicy ; @daisy-figmund ; @lunaorlunareclipse Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay on this one - we had a couple unexpected issues come up that cut into my editing opportunities ;A; Like Chapter Two, this one is a direct continuation of the previous chapter. I'm gonna try to make the next chapter the end of this particular scene, so we'll be getting into the plot soon! Get ready, 'cause it gets dark right out the gate! Also, I apologize ahead of time for the cut-off point - I know it's gonna leave some of ya'll with blue balls. But I'll make it up to you! I swear! Alastor's dialogue will be in bold red, thoughts in italics red, and Reader's will be in blue. If you would like to be added or removed from the tag list, let me know via ask/comment!

"Ah-! Fuck!"

You cried suddenly when he switched from kneading away at your breast to pinching your nipple, rolling the sensitive bud between his thumb and index finger. Your walls clenched tightly around his stiff cock at this, extracting a raspy whine from him. Alastor was making it damn near impossible to keep your eyes open, to focus on him. Every single thing he did, from the perpetual thrusting of his hips right down to the sounds that poured from his mouth had you close to creaming on his cock.

"Hm? You like that?" Alastor asked you, tone mocking as he parroted back your question regarding his ears. A jovial laugh echoed in yours when he saw your pout, your lip jutting forward as he leaned down closer to your chest, his thrusts diligent and relentless in their speed. It was amazing that the desk was still standing in spite of the rough pounding he was giving you. With one hand switching between massaging the spongy flesh of your breast to pinching and twisting its tip, Alastor's mouth attended to the other - teeth grazing the pebbled tissue, his lips wrapping around your erect nipple. Suckling gently, he began to flick his tongue over it a few times shortly before pulling away to place tender kisses to your heated, flushed skin. "Oh, my dear - you're so soft," he whispered, speaking more to himself than you, biting near your sternum hard enough to draw blood - sucking at the few droplets that trickled from the tiny wound seconds later.

Lapping at the small gashes in a soothing manner, he moaned into your skin as beads of the delectable red liquid coated his tongue. "So sweet," he mumbled against the malleable flesh. Alastor just knew your breasts would look positively radiant with bite marks, varying degrees of bruises and hickeys littering your skin - every single magnificent blemish a result of his ministrations. Knowing that he was the one to put them there had him twitching inside you, eager to make the images in his mind a reality.

"And all for me."

Alastor withdrew from your delectably beautiful breast, his lips popping loudly as the suction ceased. He took a moment to admire his work - the skin already beginning to darken where he had been suckling; his saliva that coated the hickey making it shine in the dim light; the red imprint of his hand and crescent shaped indentations of his nails where he unwittingly squeezed a little too hard; the way the surrounding area of your lacerated flesh where he bit you began to redden and swell. A sense of triumph and pride came over him, as he had been right - they did look absolutely radiant like this. It had him wondering what the rest of you would look like with similar markings; bite marks on the insides of your thighs and neck, scratches down your back made by his clawed hands, bruises littered across your chest and abdomen - his thrusts lost their rhythm at the thought of it all.

Soon after, Alastor was drawn from his imagination when he felt your hands in his hair again - only this time, your slender fingers were wrapped around the base of his antlers. How you were able to surprise him so easily, so often with such miniscule actions, he'd never know. "A-Ala- ...! Fuck, fuck, please- ...!" you choked out in between your gasping for air and loud sobs of ecstasy, your eyes fluttering as you fought against your own instincts, to keep them focused on his face. "Don't stop, don't stop, oh my god- ...! Oh fffuuu-!" you begged him, tears welling up in your eyes as you teetered right on the cusp of euphoria. A guttural moan from deep within his chest filled the air at the vice grip you had on both his antlers and his cock, nearly swallowed by the melodious sounds you were making and the steady slaps of skin on skin each time he slammed into you. His eyes shifted to radio dials as he watched the expressions you were making with exultation, basking in the marvelous rhapsodies you were singing for him.

Pressing his lips back against your breast, Alastor started to suck and bite in previously unmarked areas - determined to cover every inch of your silky skin. "Cum for me," he beckoned, control slipping from his fingers once again as he began to lose himself in the rapturous pleasure your body was providing. That was all you needed to hear - the sinful drag of his length within your dripping cunt finally pushing you over the edge, every muscle in your body contracting as the first waves of delicious gratification washed over you, swallowing you whole and claiming your senses. Alastor relished in the way your brows furrowed and your jaw dropped, a silent scream clinging to the back of your throat as you gave yourself over to the electrifying cascades. "Such a beautiful sight," he drawled, voice thick with lust and passion, the near deafening crackles and pops of static filling your ears - it was impossible that a more heavenly sight could exist, he thought.

If he could focus on anything else except the way you were squeezing him so tight, Alastor would be thinking of ways to save this moment, this beauty that you were oh-so-gracious enough to share with him. "... - sstor! A-Al-! Hoh- ohhh-! Mmmah-! Alasss- ...!" you couldn't form any coherent words, having been reduced to a blubbering mess as your walls clamed down on his erect member, the way they so greedily continued to suck him back in with each retraction of his hips, the near painful hold you had on him only serving to heighten the pleasure that accompanied it ten-fold.

"If you keep- ... Nnghh-! -keep squeezing me like that, darling-! Fuuhh-!" he tried to warn you, the futility of his words falling on deaf ears - he was too far gone, his words no longer mattered. Alastor had been so focused on coaxing another climax out of you that he failed to notice how close he was to his own, not until the suffocating grip you had on his cock was hurtling him down into the euphoric pits of bliss - forcing him to empty himself inside you for the second time. "Wait, wait- ...! Oh fuck, I'm-!" he cursed, unable to finish his sentence in time as his balls tightened and his mouth hung open, his breath hitching in his throat. He clenched his eyes shut and bowed his head, the sensations overwhelming him - your core dragging him down further and further with every pulse, every contraction of your muscles as he painted your walls white with his seed.

As you slowly came down from your high, seeing his reaction had you pouncing on the opportunity to give Alastor a little taste of his own medicine. You tightened your hold on his enlarged antlers, knuckles white as you pulled his head back and forced him to look up at you, a devious smirk dancing across your lips. "Eyes on me, dearest," you teased him, your tongue lingering on the last word as his body shook and shivered each time you pumped the velvety bones protruding from his skull - your hold pushing him straight into overstimulation with each stroke, every twist of your hands, your nimble fingers massaging gently over any branches you could reach.

Alastor stared up at you with hooded eyes, lips parted as he panted hard - his carefully curated mask of control and ambiguity faltering for a split second as he collapsed on top of you, his strength leaving his body. The small glimpse this gave you into his inner word had your smile softening into one of complete adoration, watching him rest his cheek on your breast, his smile exhausted and tranquil as he tried to level out his breathing.

Retracting your hands from the now shrinking bone, you laced your fingers into his disheveled crimson tresses, smoothing out the ruffled strands. "Good boy," you praised, letting the tips of your fingers stroke the backs of his hypersensitive ears, earning you a relaxed sigh as he nuzzled into your bosom. The two of you stayed like this for a few minutes - simply basking in the afterglow of your passionate acts and enjoying the silence that followed. It felt so surreal to you, being here with Alastor in such an intimate manner, unable to recall the last time you felt so peaceful, so safe in the arms of another person. If you could, you would have stopped time, if only to stay like this - in this moment for just a little while longer. You didn't want this feeling to disappear, absolutely terrified of what would come once it did.

'No, not now. I refuse to think about that - about him...'

Alastor broke his gaze first, closing his eyes and turning his head to place chaste kisses to your chest - and just like that, the mask had returned to its rightful place, barring you from the most vulnerable sanctuary of his inner world as the roiling waves of his release finally subsided, allowing him to take hold of the reins once more. A sigh of repose made its way past his lips as Alastor moved to stand up straight now, his hands wrapping around the back of your thighs. "My, my. Brazen little thing, aren't you?" his question rhetorical, his eyes drifting down your sweat covered figure as he pushed your legs further apart. He stared down at the place where your bodies were joined, pride swelling within his being while he admired the way he stretched you open.

Your walls clung to his shaft mercilessly, refusing to release their tight grip as he slowly retracted his hips until he'd pulled out of you entirely - sticky strings of his seen momentarily keeping you connected. "Fuck," Alastor groaned as he watched the viscous white fluid seep from your quivering hole and roll down your ass, a few beads dripping onto the carpeted floor beneath him, admiring the way your pussy clenched around nothing. With his left hand, he swiped at any drops he could catch and pushed it back inside with his index and middle fingers, pumping his digits slowly, eliciting a strangled whine out of you and causing your thigh to strain against his other hand. A haughty laugh erupted from his chest at your weak attempts to close your legs, removing his fingers from your core and bringing them up to your mouth.

"Open,"

Alastor commanded you, then pushed his fingers past your lips to press flat against your tongue. "So messy," he breathed out as you sucked his digits clean of your mixed fluids, not wanting a single drop to go to waste. Satisfied with your obedience, Alastor withdrew his fingers from your mouth a few moments later and cupped your cheek - brushing his calloused thumb over the remnants of your running mascara and eventually drifting back down to press against your lower lip. In that instance, his ever-present smile softened into one of serenity and contentment, drinking in this moment of complete ataraxy.

He could feel the effects of the Love Potion finally begin to drain from his body, being replaced with a sense of relief and... disappointment. 'Something's not right here,' Alastor realized, noticing that despite having successfully remedied his symptoms, he still very much so desired your company and affection. He rarely experienced emotions of a sexual nature outside his ruts, and he couldn't recall having ever felt romantic attraction to anyone in life or in death, so it was strange that he found himself wanting to drag this out as long as possible. But why? What about you was so different that had him betraying his preferences, yearning for your touch and longing to hear those sweet whispers over and over again until you couldn't speak?

Perhaps Love Potion was more than just a potent aphrodisiac and he simply underestimated the range of effects that spray could have on a person. He never had any reason to learn anything about it before tonight, viewing it strictly as another pointlessly annoying invention by those bandwagon riding hacks, so he was in the dark just as much as you. Or maybe his rut hit him early this time around. Whatever the case, Alastor refused to admit these were his own raw, unfiltered emotions and desires - it was too ridiculous, too comical a notion to be true. Him, the Radio Demon, the great and powerful Alastor, famous for his sadistic brutality, experiencing feelings as asinine and weak as romance? How utterly absurd!

... Unfortunately, the longer it went on, the more he was forced to acknowledge the horrendous possibility that dreadful mixture had only served as a catalyst to something much greater than a simple romp in the hay.

'This won't do,' Alastor thought, knowing he had to uproot these feelings of infatuation as soon as possible - before they grew beyond containment and become a threat of any sort. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was fully aware that it was a foolish decision, to not cut this off at the source immediately, but he couldn't help himself. The brilliance with which your eyes shined and the promises of bliss your body continued to make even now had him second guessing that course of action. But there was still a very real possibility, one much more likely that this was just a passing fancy brought on by the drug, and all he needed to do was get it - get you out of his system. 'Yes, that's all I need to do,' he told himself, deciding that he would indulge in these cravings - and you - for a little while longer.

Impulsively, Alastor leaned down again to give you a sweet kiss. His lips lingered on yours, one hand moving to curl around the back of your neck, the other finding your waist as he tugged you up into a sitting position. What started out as an innocent kiss soon turned more playful when he felt your teeth nipping and tugging on his lip, causing him to pull away with a light-hearted chuckle. "Quite the mischievous little minx, too," he said as he continued to smile down at you, a breathy giggle emerging from your throat in response to his statement. "There's the pot calling the kettle black," you mused, letting your hands rest on his forearms and leaning forward to press your head against his bare chest. "Hmm... I prefer the term 'cheeky monkey', but I suppose mischievous works just as well," he countered, lightly massaging the base of your scalp.

Silence filled the space between you as your exhaustion was quickly catching up, and you struggled to keep your eyes open. You had to stifle yet another yawn, something that did not go unnoticed by Alastor when he pulled you back gently by your hair to see your face better. "Tired? Would you like to stop?" he asked you, his grin widening when he saw the confusion on your face. Alastor looked down at the small space between your bodies, then to your face as a single brow rose - as if he was hinting for you to look down as well. "As enjoyable as that was, I don't think it was enough to rid my body of these pesky symptoms," he blamed that god-awful concoction, adamantly refusing to admit these desires were all his and nothing more. Following Alastor's suggestions, you looked down to see that he was once again fully erect, beads of precum leaking from his head to join with the remnants of your mixed essences. "Damn... What the hell did they put in that potion?" you asked jovially as you looked back up at him, a smile to match his own plastered across your face.

"I've not the slightest clue," Alastor laughed along with you at this predicament you've found yourselves in, glad that you both were now able to make light of the situation your mistake had caused. "But I will most definitely be having a little chat with our friend, Angel, about bringing such paraphernalia into this establishment come morning," he promised, his voice coming out as a growl as Angel's name rolled off his tongue. Alastor wholeheartedly blamed Angel for this chain of events - had he kept to the initial agreement when taking up residence at Hazbin Hotel, the drug never would have been anywhere near your naive self, and he wouldn't be tearing himself apart inside trying to figure out what it is he truly felt for you. Was it a fair judgement? Probably not, but it was of no concern to Alastor.

That was Charlie's job, not his.

"Uh-huh... And will this be a chat, chat, or should I stock up on tissues and ice cream before telling Charlie that her first guest is, ya know-" you ran your finger in a straight line across your neck as a way of saying 'dead'. Your question pulled him from his thoughts and Alastor blinked innocently. "Oh, heaven's no! I'm not going to kill him over something so frivolous as this!" he reassured you, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the idea. He had thought about it, sure - but it would bring more trouble than it was worth. He would never hear the end of it from Charlie and her pet; not to mention the numerous problems that would occur following his butchery of an owned soul, one belonging to a rival Overlord, and of high quality and value as Angel Dust. He could easily handle whatever the Vee's threw at him without breaking a sweat, but he'd rather not invite that kind of trouble to his doorstep just yet, not with the impending Extermination steadfastly approaching.

"He wouldn't die anyway, unless I used angelic steel. I'd rather save myself the headache he would give me after he puts himself back together."

Alastor had to hand it to Angel, though. He was mildly impressed by the resilience of his soul as well as his mind. When there was more than a fifty percent gap in the level of power, usually the owned soul would lose their sense of autonomy and become a mindless drone within the owner's ranks - but not him. Angel not only maintained his sentience after selling his soul, but he also still possessed the will to fight back too - and fight back, he did whenever Val's abuse stepped outside the parameters of their contract, a feat deserving of his praise. He had potential, that one. "Besides, it's far too entertaining to watch him annoy Husker. Poor fellow brings it on himself," he explained and waved away your concerns, soon turning his attention back to the growing ache within his loins.

"Okay, good. It's not really his fault, anyway," you mumbled as you thought of how you were going to get to Angel first - you had to warn him, at least. He may have brought Love Potion into the hotel, but you were the one ignorant enough to spray a previously unknown substance around one of the most feared demons Hell has ever known in recent memory. Angel already had one Overlord breathing down his neck, abusing him at every turn - it would eat you alive if you were the reason a second was added to the mixture. Drawing your attention back to him, Alastor lowered his hands to your hips and pulled you closer, pressing himself against you in an effort to alleviate some of his pain. "But I can think of a couple things that would be far more entertaining than a cat trying to swat away a spider," he purred, static popping loudly as he leaned down to steal another kiss from you, to which you happily returned.

The moment was fleeting as Alastor pulled back and reached behind you to the small vintage radio sitting near the corner of his desk. He pulled the knob to power it up and turned a few dials until smooth jazz began to play from its speakers. Although still mildly irked by your earlier actions - when you covered your mouth in an attempt to silence yourself - he remembered the embarrassment he saw in your eyes. Now that he was able think more clearly on it, he realized how much it truly bothered you to be heard by someone else other than him, and it sent small pangs of guilt all throughout his being. 'How inconsiderate of me,' he thought, cursing himself for not having any restraint despite his warning of the possibilities earlier. Alastor owed you an apology for the way he ignored your feelings in pursuit of his own pleasure, especially when you had been nothing but compassionate and accommodating of his needs.

Taking a step back, Alastor bent over to unlace his shoes and remove his remaining garments that were wrapped around his ankles - allowing you a glimpse of something curious. Initially, you had no idea what it was as you leaned forward, then side to side in an attempt to get a better look at it. "Hmm...?" Alastor hummed when he stood up straight, immediately noting the perplexed expression that overtook your features as he kicked his trousers and briefs to the side. "Something the matter, dear?" he asked you, tilting his head to the side as you pressed your lips into a thin line. You continued to eye the neatly groomed ball of crimson and black fluff for a few seconds before it finally dawned on you what it might have been.

Does... he have a tail?

"Alastor, is that a tail?" you blurted without thinking, immediately slapping both of your hands over your mouth right after. "Oh- that," he said nonchalantly, moving to stand between your legs once more. Your body tensed as you awaited his reaction, certain that you had earned yourself a good scolding for such an impolite question. You hadn't meant to be so bold or outright, but you've long since known that your body and your brain hadn't been on the same page since the moment all of this began. "Yes, it's a tail," Alastor responded with a sigh and turned slightly, swishing the puff of fur side to side a couple times to amuse you before turning back. "I'm sorry, that was rude- ...!?" you tried to apologize, but a surprised squeal interrupted your speech when his sharpened claws sunk into your posterior after he hoisted you up off the desk, your hands shooting up to grab onto his shoulders and legs wrapping around his waist in the process.

"It's alright, darling," Alastor reassured you, spinning around and taking a few long strides to the rarely used bed. "While I'm not particularly fond of it, my tail isn't something that I've ever gone out of my way to hide," he explained, dropping you onto the mattress and climbing on top of you soon after, nestling himself in between your legs as you breathed a sigh of relief - albeit a short-lived one. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, causing your body to tense right back up with each word that spilled from his lips. "Although, you are correct - it was quite rude to ask such a thing," he clicked his tongue in mock disapproval, his pointed teeth nipping at the shell of your ear, then moving down to tug on the lobe. "Perhaps I should give you a lesson in proper etiquette, hm?" Alastor mused, rolling his bare hips against yours, sending shivers up and down your spine, not missing the flash of panic in your eyes when his words finally registered in your brain.

'Shit. Shit, shit, shit- fucking hell, fuck my life!' you thought, trying to reel yourself back in and failing miserably. If this 'lesson' of his was anything like the punishment he had doled out earlier, you knew you were in for a rough night - one that would leave you physically incapable of walking out of his room come morning. "No- ...! Al, no, no... i-it was just a slip of the tongue, I swear!" your pleas had no effect on him though, his lips ghosting over the carotid artery in your neck, then over your collar bone and traveling further down to your breasts. "I'm sorry, please- ...!" you spoke, only to be interrupted by Alastor's stern gaze, looking up at you as he placed butterfly kisses to your bare chest and his teeth grazed over your erect nipple. "I know you are, dear," Alastor started, kissing further down your diaphragm to your navel, not breaking eye contact for even a millisecond. "But if 'sorry' fixed everything, there would be no hell, no demons, and we most definitely would not be in this hotel," he smirked wickedly, knowing that you couldn't argue with the point he had just made - your silence proved as much.

Alastor continued to move south, soon reaching the delicious mound between your thighs, never once thinking it would be this fun, this intoxicating. But, as much as he wanted to devour you and everything you had to offer him, he was on a self-imposed mission now and couldn't let himself get distracted. He would have the chance to indulge himself in a few short moments, anyway. Heated breath fanning over your soaked core, Alastor lightly kissed and nipped at the insides of your thighs, past your knees and down your calves - stopping momentarily for a taste of your blood that was still seeping from your self-inflicted wound. He groaned as the taste of copper coated his tongue, one hand wrapping around your ankle, deft digits unclasping the strap of your heel - repeating the process with the other and discarding both seconds later.

Sighing in defeat, you wiggled your newly freed toes while Alastor began to kiss his way back up your body until he was face to face with you again. "W-well then... what would this lesson entail, exactly?" you asked nervously, resigning yourself over to your fate as you tried to sift through your mixed emotions, unable to differentiate your anxiety from your excitement for the coming lesson. "Ah, ah, ah - patience, my dear," Alastor chuckled darkly at your question, not bothering to answer it as he roughly pressed his lips to yours and pinched one of your pert nipples. "Mmph-phh!" you whined, your body flinching at the pain his digits were causing as he twisted the sensitive flesh between his thumb and forefinger. Alastor pulled back, his teeth dragging your bottom lip with him as far as it would go - releasing it and your pebbled nipple simultaneously a few seconds later.

"On your knees."

Gulping audibly, you moved to sit up and reposition yourself in the center of his bed, eager yet a bit fearful of what he had in store. "O-okay... now what?" Alastor didn't answer your question at first, his figure evaporating into a cloud of black smoke only to reform in the space behind you. You couldn't see what he was doing, feeling the bed shift with his every move, causing your heart to race as you did your best to wait patiently for whatever it was that he had planned. "Now, we're going to play a little game, love," Alastor whispered in your ear, using his knee to force your legs further apart, tracing his lips down the rigid vertebrae of your spine. He placed one final kiss at the small of your back, eventually moving to lie flat on his own and scooting upwards until his face was between your thighs.

Looking down when you felt his antlers scrape across your sensitive skin, you had to cover your mouth with both hands to stile a laugh. "Alastor, what are you doing?" you asked, not expecting to have seen just his head in this position nor the uncharacteristic look of innocence he was giving you - a stark contrast to his previous display of dominance moments ago. "I told you already - we're going to play a game, one that will teach you some proper manners," Alastor explained despite knowing that your question was rhetorical - he knew it must have been an amusing sight, to look down and see his face when you were likely expecting him to whisper sweet nothings in your ear as he took you in every which way he pleased. He still intended to do exactly that, but not before you finished this game he just now concocted. Hands latching on to your hips, Alastor pulled your lower body down until you could feel his breath against your warmth each time he exhaled, that devilish silver tongue of his licking a single long stripe from your opening up and over your clit, then back down again.

"The rules are simple enough," Alastor began to explain, hands drifting down from your hips to the tops of your thighs and squeezing lightly. "I'll go easy on you, my darling doe. All you have to do is name five basic etiquette rules. If you stop talking, I stop," he paused mid-sentence to lick another stripe up your slick folds, "if you slow down, I slow down," another pause, this time flicking the tip of his tongue over the pink nub in between. "And if you cum before reciting them to me, trust that I won't let you cum again tonight," he promised, smile wide and wicked, a mischievous laugh following his words. You broke out into a cold sweat as he explained, your nerves kicking into overdrive as you tried to remember what the rules were. Most of them were common courtesy and usually taught to everyone during childhood, but with your mind so clouded with lust, you couldn't think of a single one. On the bright side, at least he only wanted you to name five.

"A-and... what if I can't recite any of these rules?" you asked sheepishly, biting the inside of your cheek to hold back your mewls when he dipped his tongue inside your plush walls and swirled all around them, retreating soon after and returning to your clit. He pulled back just enough to speak, inhaling your sweet scent and fighting back the urge to dive right back in - rules be damned. "Hmm... I'll give you one hint. After that, well... You're on your own. Use it wisely, my dear," his voice trailed off, eyes glowing a bright red as you stared at each other.

"Now, shall we begin, my sweet?"

Fuck, this was going to be hard. How the fuck were you supposed to think and form coherent sentences when his ministrations were lighting every single nerve in your body on fire? And you hadn't even begun yet! Alastor was awaiting your signal to start, anticipation and impatience gnawing away at his self-control. "Ooohhh- ohh-kaah- aay-! Let's staa-hahh- arrrt-!" you cried, trying to focus your mind so that you could begin. "Wonderful," he responded shortly before diving back in for another taste of your honey sweet essence. He started by poking and prodding at your slick entrance, then moved up to suck on your clit as you moaned softly with each suckle, each flick over the small cluster of nerves. He could see the gears turning in that pretty little head of yours, trying to find the words to recite the first rule of basic etiquette.

"O-okay, uhm... fuck," you whispered. "One rule is- so the first rule, I mean- nnghh!" a harsh suckle from Alastor was making it hard for you to focus on anything except the pleasure he was giving you. "A-always be respectful to others-!" With one rule down, you heard Alastor hum softly into your heated flesh, gasping loudly when he opened his mouth wider and pressed his tongue flat against your delicious mound, making long, firm strokes. "Aaahh-! Another rule i-is... shit, another rule is- ... is, be punctual- hahh! Let someone k-know if you're going to be- fuck! -To be late!" Rule number two, done; three to go. You tried to keep talking, even if it was just a bunch of babbling nonsense. You didn't want him to slow down or stop, but as the coil in your belly tightened rapidly and threatened to snap at any second, you recalled the third rule he had given you:

'And f you cum before reciting them to me, trust that I won't let you cum again tonight.'

Those words rang in your ears as you reluctantly closed your mouth and forced yourself to stop talking, trying to cool yourself off and push back your orgasm. Alastor wasn't pleased by this, but he was the one that set the rules, so he obeyed - stopping his movements and glaring up at you, his nails digging into the fat of your thighs as a warning not to test his already too thin patience. "Go on," he urged you, his right hand retreating from your leg to travel down his own body to his painfully erect cock, precum dripping from his slit and rolling down the length of it to soak the patch of neatly groomed crimson hair at his base. Swallowing hard, you nodded your head and opened your mouth to continue speaking even though you had not yet come down completely. "A-ask for permission, an-nnnghh-! And uhmm- oh fuck! Fuck, c-cover your mouth when you... when you sneeze, or cough- oh my god!" you recited rule number three and four in quick succession, your hands shooting down to twist and tug at his magnificently opulent head of red and black hair, eventually moving to wrap around the base of his antlers, looking for something to ground yourself as you tried to think of one final rule.

"You're doing well, Mon Amour. One more, and then you can let go," Alastor promised you, lazily stroking his hardened length in an effort to alleviate some of the pain, a bead of pre rolling down the length of it and mixing with your combined essences in the space between his shaft and balls. A soft whine escaped his throat when he tightened his grip and began to pump himself with a little more vigor, drool mixed with the delicious nectar spilling from your core trickling down the sides of his face and coating his chin. "Come now, don't keep me waiting. You can do it," he mumbled against your flesh, waiting for you to begin speaking again.

Alastor continued to pump his shaft, gradually gaining speed as you remained silent, panting hard and squeezing his antlers even harder, struggling to fight back your release long enough to finish the game. But the sight beneath you was one to behold, indeed - you couldn't bring yourself down even a smidgen as you admired the way the soft light shone on his disheveled hair, how his hooded eyes spoke volumes on what he was feeling, new branches forming and growing from the main roots of his antlers as control began to slip from his fingertips once more. And just as you stared at him, he stared back. His own eyes traveled from your blissed out expression, pupils blown wide with lust, to the bite marks and hickeys scattered across your neck and collarbone, and further down to the curve of your supple breasts heaving as you tried to catch your breath before you continued. "My sweet doe, please..." Now he was the one that was begging, voice thick with seduction and desperation. Had you not been so close to your peak, you would have taken full advantage of the opportunity to dominate him this time around.

You watched him for a couple seconds, listening as his breathing became more ragged and the slick sounds of his hand rapidly pumping his shaft grew louder and louder. Moans soon replaced his huffs and gasps as he pushed himself closer to his climax, almost foregoing his own game and devouring your sweet little cunt as he chased his high - but no. He persevered, pinching his tip suddenly to push back his own release in favor of hearing the last rule he so eagerly waited for you to speak. He didn't have to wait for long, as you finally felt comfortable enough to open your mouth and continue speaking, pressing your drenched core down and grinding slow, harsh circles on his mouth. "A-and the last rule- nnghh oh fuck me, just like that-!" you whispered, grip tightening around his antlers as Alastor growled against your ambrosian heat, his left hand moving down to join the other by cupping his aching balls, kneading and rolling them between his digits, slurping messily and sucking harshly on your clit as he came closer and closer to his release.

"The last rule i-is- hahhh-! A-always... always say please and thank you!" you finished, closing your eyes and throwing your head bad in ecstasy, your hips gyrating, desperately chasing that breath-takingly, blissful release. "Oh my god, fuck- thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank youuu-ahh! Please, keep going, Al-!" you cried as the blinding, white hot euphoria crashed into you at long last, tremors wracking your entire body as you rode out your high, your essence pouring from your cunt and down Alastor's throat, eliciting a graphic, drawn out groan as he vigorously pumped away at his cock - too far gone to care that you had broken the golden rule by looking away from him. Not wanting to cum just yet, Alastor retracted his hands from his aching shaft and grabbed hold of your waist, lifting you slightly to slip out from beneath you.

"You're so good for me! So good," Alastor murmured as he moved to sit on his knees behind you, pushing your body forward until you were on your hands and knees. Grabbing hold of your hips and dragging you closer to him, he didn't waste any time as he guided his throbbing member to your quivering hole, your juices making it easy for him to slip inside with minimal resistance. Setting a brutal pace almost instantly, Alastor held you by the hips as you lowered your upper body until your face was pressed against the heavy duvet, your hands clenching the thick fabric as Alastor pounded away at your overstimulated pussy, his balls slapping loudly against your clit as your walls clamped down on his engorged cock. "Hah- A-Ah! Ala- fuck, yes, just like that! Please don't stop, please don't stop, don't stop!" you babbled, your voice muffled by the blanket as you closed your eyes tightly, riding the aftershocks while he used you for his own gratification.

"Fuuuhh-ckkk!" you barely heard Alastor curse, his voice almost completely drowned out by the rhythmic 'pap! pap! pap!' sound of skin on skin, his thrusts becoming more animalistic with every slap, every plea you cried than bounced off the walls and invaded his senses. His eyes traveled down the length of your arched spine, watching as ripples were sent through the fat of your ass each time his hips made contact, his cock sliding against your pliant walls with ease, his tip bullying your cervix. "Hah! Hah! Fuh- ... uhah! Ala- ... Hah! Ah!" you practically screamed, his thrusts interrupting any attempts to say his name each time he plowed forward.

"Take it, take it, fucking take it- fuck!"

[ Master Post ] ❀ [ Chapter One ] ❀ [ Chapter Two ] ❀ [ Chapter Three ] ❀ [ Chapter Four ] ❀ [ Chapter Five ] Chapter Four Coming Soon~!

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vivi-blue · 4 months

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IT IS FINALLY DONE!

God, this took me way too long...xD

After days of work I finally finished the challenge that I set for myself: Sending out props to a lot of artist here on tumblr that I really enjoy! (Actually there are way waaay more people, but I really had to set myself a limit, I'm sorry fellas ;w; I still love you!)

These people inspire me every day with their creative concepts, stories, humor and passion for art and give me the drive to continue drawing myself. With this little collection I wanted to say "thank you" for all that you do and create. You rock, guys!

(I really hope I didn't mess up any of the tags and I apologize if I might fu**ed up your designs/characters ;3; I know I'm not the best in proportions and all, but I really tried. <w<´´ Also I really hope Tumblr compresses the text by itself, so that you don't get smacked by this wall of text. I'm still a rookie on tumblr, so I don't know what to do ;w;)

Okay, heeere we go! THE TAGS!

@tv-tower / @uuberwachen - with PB aka Swap Pizzahead (I really love the idea of the au and adore the character designs. PB sure is one of my favorites -w- He is literally the most reasonable of them all XD)

@technically-a-kiwi - with Cosmic Peppino ( The design of Cosmic Peppino is simply beautiful and the idea that this chef has strong star powers and needs to take care of Cosmic Noises shenanigans is super funny to me XD )

@sirtotallynotatimetraveler - with Mel Sproutbloom / Sagebloom (I'm sorry, I wasn't sure which name is canon ;w;) ( I loooove Mel! He is such a gentle, colorful guy and looking at him makes me all happy <3 )

@alextydaisuda123 - with their version of Vigilante ( I can't repeat enough how much I adore their artstyle. I love Vigi's design the most. I don't know it's just...THAT'S Vigi for me, you know? Simply fitting, cool, but also stylish -w- )

@alice-the-demon - with Vittoria ( I was first thinking of drawing Archangel Peppino, since this guy is the softness itself, buuuut I have to admit that I love the lively and passionate personality of Vittoria. She is great -w- )

@misdreavusplush - with Eyelashes ( I can't help it. I saw that character and was in awe. How adorable can you be?? I was barely able to draw her eyes as pretty as they are xD <3 )

@creature-of-pizza - with Pepp ( Seriously, the idea to see a "Fake Peppino" with more cat dna is such a win for me. He is dynamic, sassy, derpy and so damn cool! >w< Also love how colorful their pictures are.)

@eskariolis-con-salsa - with Gnocchi (I was thinking about drawing their version of Fake Peppino first, but...*looks at picture* ...let's be honest, you can't get pass that little guy. ;w; He purifies my soul. Have some soap, little guy.)

@oddpizza - with Caramel Jam aka CJ (Such a creative and powerful character! I've seen so many artworks of them and I adore them. You need more joyful people like this ^^)

@pizza-tower-secrets - with Lycheecheechee ( A small, adorable bundle full of surprises and of course secrets! I love their drive and colorful design. Simply a delight! :3 )

@rhaytronik - with Red ( A dynamic and enjoyable character with their love for adventures! Not only a great character but also the Pizzasona of my best friend. Thanks to them I was brave enough to start a tumblr account myself. So thank you for being there for me <3 )

@cutechan555 - with Mage Gustavo (To be honest, I had a very hard time to pick a character here, since their account is full of stories and ideas. I chose mage Gustavo, since I love his design and story. I'm currently into "Delicious in Dungeon" and to imagine that he goes dungeon crawling with his bros to safe Peppino is such a cool idea XD)

@bigbeastcyruspt - with Trion (I have to be honest, at first I was very startled of Trion, since his design is very mighty and scary. I mean, it's his chase form after all. But the more I learned about him, the more I grew to like him. Very damn cool design! Also couldn't help to add dah baby ;w;)

@lunar-dal - with Pizza Cruise Peppino (Another au I simply adore! The design of the characters is colorful and bright, and to imagine Peppino as a singing gondolier brings me great joy. Also I'm a big fan of otter Brick ;w; )

@smalltimidbean - with Pea Pod, Sugar Snap Pea and Snow Pea (Believe me, I never before had such a hard time to pick ONE of so many wonderful Peppi clones! THAT was torture XD But in the end I guess I picked my favorite. Such a tired, but very cute one. Not to forget about the little ones <3 To draw a PT character with 4 fingers and 2 thumbs on one hand was quite a challenge lol )

@tinderboxofsillyideas - with Coffee Peppino (Probably one of the most adorable au versions of Peppino. Seriously, if I had the chance to get my coffee in his café, I totally would! Give that guy all the tips! <3 First thought of drawing their wizard Peppino version, but the adorable barista won lol)

@xbeih - with Metal Peppino (One of the first au's I started following. Seriously, how cool can one person be?? I mean, the whole au is amazing and I enjoy every person in it. But damn...Peppino takes the cake. ówo He is so badass, you can't imagine <w< Also I'm very sorry, it was my first time drawing a guitar and aaaaaaa )

.....*looks left and right* ...ok, we did it. Wow!

God, I'm exhausted now...XD

Well, thank you very much for reading and sorry for the wall of text ówq I can only recommend you to check these people out. They are all very talented and should be appreciated!

Have a pleasant morning / day / evening / night everyone. (Depending your timezone lul .w. )

See ya next time! Vivi out!~

#pizza tower #pizza tower fanart #fanart #pizza tower oc #art gift #god I hope the tags are ok like this #help I'm nervous to post this #ahhh #;w;

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slayagami · 3 months

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𐙚 synopsis: after losing consciousness in a villain attack, you wake up 2 and a half years later in the hospital. the time doesn't feel long to you, so adjusting to the new updates takes you by surprise. like your boyfriend of 2 years, izuku midoriya, apologizing that he found love elsewhere, in your best friend ochaco uraraka. you find refuge and comfort in your old friend todoroki, who visited you everyday you were out. does new love blossom or do you fight for midoriya back?

𐙚 pairing: midoriya x afab!reader x todoroki

𐙚 warnings:: mild violence, cursing, cheating?, love triangle-ish, angst to fluff, slow burn, friends to lovers, depression, nonchalant reader but over thinker, reader struggles expressing emotions, characters are 22

𐙚 readers quirk: poison arrow. can appear a bow and produce arrows that are ingested with poison that can temporarily paralyze or slow down the movement of who was shot. effects lasts roughly 20 minutes but depending on the victim, possible to move but will be slowed down. quirk allows the reader to have sharp sight, and can see farther and more clearer than most. reader has to train to shoot arrows more accurately. strength of poison depends on readers emotions. hero name: artemis.

𐙚 a/n: slow writer </3 SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT im such a slow and unmotivated writer but thanks for being patient and im sorry if this sucks or is short! also went ahead and added to the tags, included people who were interested in the second part! 3.03k words! [previous] [next]

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° m.list ! ┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° mha m.list ! ┊ love again

you left the hospital in daze, bitterly rethinking of the harsh words from midoriya, reliving the uncharacteristic look in ochaco’s eyes. the thing that bugged you the most is the raw emotion in his viridescent irises, the way his eyes told you so much but was trapped. like he was under control. and it pained you, because you knew he wouldn’t be with ochaco if he didnt love her. he must be confused. you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but every time you tried reasoning with yourself you became pressed and bothered, eyebrows bunching together in discomfort. it was his choice to leave, his choice to move on, his choice not to wait. that underlying fact should’ve been enough for you to ration, but your heart weighed over your reasonability.

you walked aimlessly, taking in the change of scenery. it was winter now, or at least the cusp, as trees bare nakedly from the ground, the wind blowing coldly across the tip of your nose. it grew a hue of pink as well as your ears, and you silently cursed the hospital for allowing you to walk off without warmer clothes — or even a blanket. you took in the newer buildings that were placed around, or the updated shops that took over some hole-in-wall restaurants. it felt so familiar to you, holding a sense of nostalgia, even if it wasn’t all that long ago.

your feet carried you a long way, sniffling ever so slightly as the run of your nose. you glanced up at the penthouse in front of you, neck craning to eye up the several stories it compiled. you heart pinged, migraine oncoming. this place felt familiar, and it was almost at the tip of your tongue, but i felt like your body knew where to take you. knew where you’d find comfort. knew where you’d feel safe. grudgingly you stepped forward into the building, hair blowing in several directions at the different air pressures. only then did the penthouse look familiar, the lobby remaining the same as it did years ago when todoroki first moved in, asking you for help with some boxes and casual hang outs. you dragged your feet to the lobby, allowing your body and faint memory to recollect the door your friend lived behind. a funny number to you, something so easily remembered. 808. eighth floor, eighth room. you remember always commenting how the numbers looked like a silly face, a face that could be used as an emoticon during texting.

you tried your best not to stand out, sinking your head lower and sliding your hands in your pockets, slipping into an elevator, though thankfully it was empty. the numbers glowed softly, changing as it passed each floor with a soft ‘ding’. you rocked on the balls of your heels, roughed up black and white converse your parents had left you fit snugly with a double knotted tie. your eyes watched the numbers, slowly growing anxious. you haven’t seen todoroki in — for him — two and a half years. the last time you remember seeing him before the hospital was moving into this penthouse, carrying boxes with yaoyaorozu. oh yeah, you remembered, nodding to yourself, he was dating yaoyaorozu last time i was here. the elevator dinged softly, the speaker muffling a short announcement as the doors shifted open. your feet stepped onto the hardwood floor, turning a hard right and letting your feet carry you to his room, large ceilings aligned with marvelous paintings and chandeliers. you remember gawking at it when you first visited his place too, hopelessly praying you were able to achieve a living space like this too.

you didn’t even know if he was home or not. if he had work, or was on an errand run. you didnt think about much, just knowing you wanted the comfort of your friend, wanting to let him know you were awake finally with your own words. a gentle knock hit the wooden door, eyes glancing down to the doormat with a faded ‘welcome’ message on it, some stains of red pressed on the corners. it was quiet, no noise or rustle, no television or mumbling. maybe he wasnt home. your teeth nibbled at the bottom plump of your lips, the nervous feeling growing increasingly worse. maybe i should leave? you sighed and spun around, lowering your head as you walked off, hands back into your pockets. you made it about halfway down the hallway before the soft sound of the door unlocking filled the air, the gentle pull from the door with a quiet squeak. you froze, not knowing if you should turn around or keep going. but the familiar voice rang in your ears so softly, and you knew exactly why your body aimless took you here in the first place.

“excuse me? what that you knocking?” you can gear the tired croak in his voice fighting back a yawn, “did you need anything?” your body turned slowly, feet picking up as you walked towards him excitedly, that nervous feeling from earlier gone. his eyes met yours, the bi-colored orbs widening with shock, lips parting ever so slightly. for him, time had completely stopped. in fact, todoroki could’ve sworn he was still asleep, replaying a dream he had often of being able to see you again. seeing the radiance that covered your face, the way your arms were outstretched in a hug. but it felt so real he swore if he woke up, the whole world might as well burn.

your body collides with his, pushing him back a few steps before his head catches rest on top of your shoulder, perfectly fit in the crane of your neck. his arms held you tightly at the waist, your own arms circling around his shoulders and neck, sniffles and pants reaching his ears. he was shocked, obviously, but stayed in the hug, not daring to move an inch. the familiar hospital spent fills his nostrils with a weird ease, his hands softly rubbing the small of your back as you sobbed. he knew now this wasn’t a dream, far too real to be. and as happy and relieved he is to see you, he cant help the worried pain he feels as the shirt on his shoulder grows more and more wet, your chest heavily heaving as you hugged him and sobbed.

after giving you the time to recuperate, he invited you inside his home, bending down softly to help you unlace your worn out converse, a hand holding leverage on your shin as the other tugged gently at the shoe. you stood there, surprisingly unfazed, using your forearm to wipe any tears from your eyes while your flushed nose sniffled here and there. with your pearly white socks now stepping onto the soft carpet of his home, a cold hand tugs your wrist to lead you to his grey couch, expectant eyes finding your face.

he had so many questions to ask, so many things that filled his brain on what to say and what he wanted you to know, but he just stared. he let you take your time. let you breathe. the sincerity of his entirety made your eyes water once more, chest puffing out whiney sobs while you laid ur head on his shoulder, a hand holding onto his forearm. it was such a domestic hold, so natural between the two. though your cries were too important for him to worry about anything else at the moment.

you gulped inaudibly, taking a small breath. you began to slowly tell him everything. the moment you woke up, seeing your parents show physical signs of aging, midoriya rushing in, the stupid look in his green eyes, uraraka expecting you to give her your blessing, and finally not even being able to remember the fight you were involved with in the first place. time did not feel long to you, which is why its even harder to understand how much things have changed.

the entirety of the situation felt completely unfair.

shoto hummed softly, letting you talk it out to him. he felt the grip on his arm grow strong as the topic of your now-ex-boyfriend came up, his own feelings getting twisted inside his heart. seeing you cry over someone like him making a stupid decision, he wished to comfort you in a domestic manner yet refrained.

"i need to tell my supervisor i need a break. and to switch me to a different agency. there's no way i can still work with izuku after this." another hum, his back sinking into the couch. "do you have any ideas where you want to go? or how long you plan to take your break for?"

you sighed, the thought of it all already giving you a headache. your yawn filled the small silence, before responding. "agency? no clue. someone who wants me to become the best version of myself and not only wanting me to make their company look better." another yawn, your eyes growing heavy. "i need to consult with my doctor since i can't strain myself for a while anyways. gotta see what she recommends me, first."

todoroki nodded in understanding, noticing the change in demeanor. his blue blanket was folded on the arm rest of the couch, inching away from you slowly to not disturb you. he reached out for the blanket and slowly laid it over to your body. he muttered softly, telling you to lay down and that you should rest before you decide to go home.

"today was tough, so take a quick nap to replenish your energy. don't worry, I'll still be here when you wake up."

warmth enveloped you on a soft cushion, a light weight draped over your body making it unbearably hard to wake up. but with a groan straining out your throat and scrunch of your face, your eyes peered open slowly to look at the familiar apartment. the room smelled of some kind of soup, the broth being enough to make your mouth water. you glanced down at the suspect of the newly added weight to your body, a red blanket on top of your figure. it was weighted, along with a fluffy white cat balled up at your feet. in the kitchen, was todoroki. you can hear the clash of metals as she shuffled through various pots, placing them as quietly as he could on the stove, yet the smallest noise still ringing through the apartment. it felt homey. and it made you feel guilty. todoroki was important to you, but so was izuku. spending the night here, feeling and finding comfort in him, waiting patiently as he cooked you some dinner, it all felt wrong. you still felt the unbearable tie between your ex, and even though your brain finally understood that things were different, and that time has changed, your heart reminds you otherwise.

your hands picked up the ball of fluff at your feet, cradling the tiny baby in your arms to ease your mind. it purred softly, nudging its head into your fingers, its heterochromatic eyes of blue and green peering up. your socked feet scuffed its way towards the kitchen, watching fondly as todoroki lifted the ladle of broth to his mouth, taste testing his soup concoction. he winced at the taste, almost in disbelief at what he tried. who knows how long he's been trying to make this. with a stifled laugh, you offer to help.

"do you even know how to cook? let me taste it and I'll tell you what you need!" for being a pro-hero, him not noticing your presence was a little silly. he jumped a little but played it off, eyeing you softly. the cat meowed, jumping out of your hands and onto the floor effortlessly, rubbing itself on todoroki. it was a cute scene, his cheeks a pale pink and his ears flushed, the soft purrs of his cat and the disheveled wrinkles of his shirt was so cute. cute? oh, the guilty feeling is back again. your smile faltered as you walk to the pot, taking whatever leftover broth was in the ladle into your mouth to taste. you had the same reaction as him, grimacing in distaste. it was so bland, like, uncharacteristically bland. and watery? and.. missing every single spice needed to make it flavorful. you giggled, lifting yourself on the tips of your toes to reach into his cabinet, pulling out every spice needed and some other ones you wanted to try.

you spent the rest of the night cooking the soup, engaging in another game of catch-up over the past two years you were in the hospital. he mentioned the newer stores that opened near your home, or the stores that closed down recently or changed locations. because, of course he would remember all your favorite locations. he kept tabs on probably everything you had an interest in. he wasn't sure if that was good or bad, though. you listened intently nonetheless, nodding in understanding or gasping at the new news. he gave you updates about your friends, how mina went abroad to model for a partnership, or how bakugou actually mellowed out for once. he wasn't as invested in you guys' friends as he was about the things in your life, so there wasn't too much said, thought he said as much as he knew.

"oh, and yaoyaorozu? last I remembered you guys were together, no? we helped you move in here!" right. yaoayorou. he refrained from saying much about her. things didn't end well with her, and to be completely honest, he was to blame for it all. with an uneasy look, he pet his cat in his arms. shoto looked over the digital clock on the wall, 1:29 am. the story was far too long to explain. but he knew neither of you were tired. but if he explained it all, would you view him differently? he bit his lip in thought, uncertain and nervous.

"we broke up not too long after you were in the hospital." he breathed, allowing himself to get comfortable in the solace of his couch. "she said I was invested in everything but her, and that I never acted like a boyfriend to her but a.. placeholder." his blue and grey eyes peer in your direction, your orbs wide but focused, taking in the new information. you didn't want to believe though, you always believed shoto would have been a great boyfriend.

"she said that? im sorry for asking about it, but I'm sure you weren't as bad as she claims. maybe you guys were compatible, to she wanted more than you could give, y'know?" you tried to reassure him, but a part of it only made him feel guilty. he pressed on, thanking you gently while he continued his story.

"I visited you in the hospital every day, for several hours at a time. I went when I woke up before my shift, I went after, I went on my days off, I went on lunch breaks. I sat in the hospital chair, talking to you and sharing a meal more than I ever did with yaoyaorozu. My life had completely revolved around your well-being and it made her upset, rightfully so. I was never intimate with her, we hardly ever slept in the same bed. Our conversations were bland unless you happened to be brought up. Only then did I become interested, or it ended up in an argument. She said if I cared for you so much then why was I even bothering with her?"

the long tangent had you shocked, feeling the irresistible heat crawl up the back of your neck to your cheeks and ears, a hand covering your mouth as you watched him. he sunk further into the couch, almost sulkingly, clinging onto the white cat on his chest. maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the magic of being up late into the night, but he continued to talk and speak nothing but the truth. as bare and open as it was.

"I think my whole life has always been about you. but you were interested in midoriya. I figured it would have been a smarter move to move on from you since you were with him. and since yaoyaorou was the only person who could've been an option I half hazardly chose her and practically exploited her feelings for me to form a relationship, just to find closure in some one-sided feelings. that's why I visited you often in the hospital, and cut all ties with midoriya and ochaco when all those articles came out."

another look at the clock read 2:33am, before his eyes landed on yours. wet, big, and full of raw emotions. you let out a small sob, before sniffling and wiping your face, the faintest blush your nose. you scooted closer, laughing.

"if you say all that, I can't help but feel bad for yaoyaorozu. I can't imagine how that must've felt, for both of you. but i won't take your feelings lightly. give me some time, okay? things are complicated for me, too. if im being honest, hearing you say all those things makes me beyond happy, its almost embarrassing. but my conscious can't help but feel guilty, I still feel tied to izuku. I mean, just the other day in my timeline we were talking about marriage. then I wake up and find out hes with my best friend." your hands reach out towards the cat as well, scratching the top of her head as she purred, your fingers brushing up against todoroki's every now and then, before he decide to holds your fingers between his, his ow eyes never leaving your face as you spoke.

"I want to take your feelings with honesty. so just give me a little more time, okay?" even though the wallowing pain of guilt still continued to eat at you, you persevered and kissed the softness of his pale cheek, his face flaming up in red. he nodded meekly, giving your hand a squeeze.

"of course, anything for you."

tag list

@c0sm1cstqrsx @aliceblossoms @0b1wan @obeythehuman @whippedbyikemen @faimmm @sagejin @gummy-toes @seobstarr @candiiee @slowlyelectronictragedy @mashedcarrott @justagirlfr @aespie @marley1773

#kiwi’s works. 🧃#my hero academia #midoriya x reader #todoroki x reader #✶࿐ izuku midoriya #x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #༘⋆ shoto todoroki 🫂

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solarissun · 5 months

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We are never, ever getting back together (pt 2)

afab!reader x Mike Schmidt

pt 1

WC: 3k

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, enemies to lover, afab reader, angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of intoxication, slow burn, mentions of child abuse, no use of y/n, aged up character

A/N: I want to apologize for any confusion the first chapter might have caused! This fic is a Mike Schmidt fic. It's just a slow burn/somewhat(?) of a love triangle and I thought adding Clapton would be funny. (plus I’m in love with him…) Before you read, just as a warning, this chapter gets pretty deep.

Enjoy!

tags: @h3llo-k1tt @caminterrupted @jhutchismyl0verb0y

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

It's been almost a month since you and Clapton's hookup. He's been texting you nonstop. Text after text floods in, and you ignore them all. You feel bad, but you’re too embarrassed to even face him. You sigh, flipping open to Clapton’s contact to read the new heap of texts.

U good?

Miss you. Hope that ur ok.

Wanna hang?

Helloooo?

Okay. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of u.

You groan, slamming your phone back down on the bedside table. You enjoyed the night you two had, and it felt great at the time. But now you just feel like shit. Now all you think about is Mike, and how disgusted he was with you. While you’re thinking about Mike, you realize you haven’t seen or heard him in weeks. He’s been out of his apartment way more than usual, and you’re sure he's avoiding you. To be honest, you don’t blame him. If he pulled that on you, you’d up and leave.

You lay back down on the couch, grabbing the remote and turning on a movie, desperate to think of anything else but Mike or Clapton. Suddenly, you hear frantic knocking on your door. You reach for the remote and pause the TV. You sit silently for a minute, wondering if you were hearing things. Not only is it 8 pm on a Saturday, but you also aren’t expecting any guests. Who could possibly be knocking on your door? As you're about to un-pause the TV, more knocks echo and bounce off the walls.

You slowly get up from the couch, and wearily walk over to the door. You shift to the balls of your feet, trying to peer through the peephole. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as all you see is the top of someone's head. You slowly wrap your hand along the cold metal of the knob, slowly turning it open. Your eyes widen as you see Abby on the other side.

Her face lights up, her eyes practically glowing. She squeals, bolting over to you and wrapping her arms around your waist. “Abby!” You scream, pulling her into you.

“I missed you so much! Mike said you moved away to your castle to be a princess!” You scoff inwardly, Mike’s lie making you despise him even more. "Where is your castle, by the way?" You glance down at her, ready to make up some insane lie. Before you get the chance, you look to your left, seeing Mike skirt around the corner, bee-lining towards you. He’s panting, his face red. “Shit- I’m... Sorry. She’s so fast.” You plaster a sickly sweet smile on your face, ensuring Abby doesn’t notice the hostility between you.

Mike takes Abby’s hands, prying her off you. “Heyy! I want to play with her! Please! Please, Mike!” She whines, giving Mike her best puppy eyes. He looks up at you, a guilty look falling over his features. He shrugs at you, waiting for your response. “Okay, come in!” You say, focusing on the little girl in front of you instead of Mike. The two of them walk into your apartment, Mike clearly not wanting her to be alone with you. You give him a dirty look and he rolls his eyes. Luckily, Abby’s too focused on your decor to notice or even care.

She runs around your apartment, oohing and ahhing at every fuzzy pillow and every cute decoration lining your shelves. She opens your bedroom door, and you think she’s about to explode. She looks back at you, her eyes wide. “You can go in.” You say, giggling as she wastes no time to roll around in all the stuffed animals you still keep on your bed. You quickly follow behind her, flinging yourself in the pile. Mike leans against the door frame, smiling as he watches you both stand up and jump up and down the bed. Abby stops, her eyes catching on something on your bedside table. She jumps down, her feet landing on the plush carpet. She grabs a heart locket off your bedside table, holding it up to the light. “Woah! This is so pretty!”

You immediately freeze, your face almost lighting on fire. You quickly grab it out of her hands, stuffing it in a drawer. “Mhm, so pretty! Why don’t we get out of the bedroom?” You steer her out of the room, sliding around Mike. You loved her with all your being, but her lack of an attention span seemed like it was out to get you.

As Abby sits down on the couch, you look over at Mike. His eyes are wide and his eyebrows are furrowed. He glances back into your room, the locket he got you for your 3rd anniversary haphazardly hanging out of the drawer. You both stare at each other for what feels like forever.

⚫︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡⚫︎

Mike opens your front door, not even bothering to announce his arrival. He sits down next to you, a huge smile on his face. “What?” You mirror his smile, confused as to what he might be so excited about. “Okay, I know our anniversary isn't for a few days but I- I just couldn’t wait. I'm sorry it's cheap, I couldn’t afford much.” He says, awkwardly.

He reaches into his hoodie pocket, taking out a velvet box. You look up at him sweetly, gasping as you open it. You pull out a heart-shaped locket. You feel your eyes well up as you open it, reading the words engraved inside.

“I’ll love you forever and Always, Mike.”

You fling yourself onto him and you wrap your arms around his waist. He pulls you into him kissing you sweetly. In between kisses you mumble out, “I love you so much.” You feel so loved and so grateful that you met someone like him. You didn’t care about the money, he was worth so much more than gold or diamonds to you.

⚫︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡⚫︎

You shake your head, pushing the memories out of your mind. Mike looks away from you, his cheeks growing rosey. You sigh loudly, sitting down next to Abby. Over the next few hours, you and Abby color what feels like a thousand different sheets of paper.

By 11 pm, you’re both lying down on the floor, markers and papers scattered all across your living room. Mike watches from the couch, telling Abby a story as she draws him. A few times, you both glance at each other, but you both quickly turn your gaze to Abby instead. After Abby finishes her drawing, she holds it up to you and him. “It's so good!” Mike says, taking the paper out of her hand. He starts pointing out small little details Abby included, gushing over each and every one. You’re utterly entranced as you watch him.

You miss him so much.

Your eyes widen and bite your cheek, wanting to slap yourself across the face for even thinking that. He abandoned you. That’s it.

But.. He loved you so much. Or at least you thought so. How could he just up and leave without a word? You wanted desperately for there to be any other reason. A part of you was convinced there actually was. You bite down harder, a salty metal taste erupting across your tongue.

Whatever happened, he left. That’s it. There’s no excuse. You clench your jaw, trying to ignore the roller coaster that’s running through your mind. Maybe… Maybe for now you can forget your distaste for him. Just for a few minutes.

You smile softly as he and Abby burst out laughing.

⚫︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡⚫︎

They leave. Too soon. As soon as the door shuts behind the both of them, the apartment is filled with deafening silence. You lay down on the hardware floor, the cold wood seeping through your shirt and biting into your back.

You never realized how much you truly missed Mike and Abby until you saw them tonight. Or… Maybe you just missed having someone to wake up to every day. Whatever it is, you shake it off and crawl onto the couch, too sad to walk a few feet to your bed. You pull a soft blanket over you, the edge of it just barely covering your feet.

You slowly drift off to sleep, dreaming of a time when you and Mike weren’t basically sending bombs to each other's front doors.

⚫︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡⚫︎

You bolt awake, sweaty and shaky. You look around, your heart beating out of your chest. You’re unsure of what woke you up, but it scared the shit out of you. Listening closer, you hear crying, no, wailing. And it’s coming from next door. You quickly bolt up, running to your door. But, you pause as soon as you reach it. You don't want to get involved with Mike and Abby's life more than you have to. Plus, it could just be one of her usual tantrums. It could even just be something as trivial as a burnt breakfast. You pivot, turning back towards the couch. As soon as you hear screaming, you tear up all of your inhibitions and run into the hall. When you reach Mike’s door, it flies open and a woman storms out, dragging an inconsolable Abby out.

The woman, who you recognize as Mike’s aunt, is gripping Abby’s arm so hard that the skin around her fingers turns white. Mike runs out of his apartment pleading with her, “You can see she doesn’t want to go! Please, just-” Abby digs her heels into the ground grabbing Mike's shirt with her free hand. Jane yanks Abby to her side, pulling her away from her brother. “I guess I’ll have to go to the police and tell them you kidnapped my niece! I have sole custody, not you, Michael!” Mike’s eyes go wide, the color draining from his face. He takes a step back, putting as much distance between him and Jane as possible.

You watch in shock, beyond confused about what had gone down during the two years you were broken up. “You truly are a despicable woman.” He says, disgust dripping from his voice. Mike crouches down, getting eye level with Abby. “Abby, I’ll see you soon. I promise, okay?.” His voice cracks as he reaches out, wiping her tears with his thumb. Abby wiggles out of her Aunt’s grip, running forward to wrap her arms around him. He pulls her closer as she sobs into his sweater. Aunt Jane rolls her eyes and then rips Abby away with absolutely no remorse. She drags her down the hall, turning the corner, and disappearing completely.

He sits down, pressing his back against the wall. He exhales, tilting his head back and staring into the fluorescent lights. You cautiously take a step towards him, “Mike…?” He looks over at you, his jaw clenching as he sees you. “Still can’t seem to mind your own business, huh?” He scoffs, his eyes turning away from you. You pause, crouching next to him. You desperately want to comfort him, but you just don't know how. “Can.. Can I do anything?” He looks over at you, his face twisting into a death stare. “For starters, you can leave me alone.” You flinch, feeling a wave of sadness rush over you. You can’t even imagine how he feels. “Mike, please..” You reach out, your hand brushing his.

He slaps your hand away, and screams, “I said leave me the fuck alone!” You stand up, taking a step backward. “I’m sorry for having a fucking heart, Mike!” He laughs, standing up. “Oh, you have a heart? Did you ever tell Clapton why you called him at 2 in the fucking morning?” You look away from him, swallowing. “That's what I thought. Leave me the fuck alone, and stay out of my life!” You feel tears burning your eyes, threatening to spill over. Your lip quivers as you speak, “All... All I wanted to do was help.”

“This is exactly why I left you.” He turns away, storming into his apartment. As soon as the door hits the frame you break down, falling to your knees in the middle of the hall.

⚫︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡⚫︎

You’ve been crying for hours straight, the tears seemingly having no end. Your pillow is drenched and tissues are splayed out all over your comforter. As you wallow in despair, the sun slowly sinks further across the sky, the only light illuminating your room being the white glow of the moon. It’s crazy to you how two entire years after your separation, Mike is still making you feel so extremely worthless. You could never be enough for him, no matter how hard you tried. What you hated most though, is that he had a point. You used Clapton. For your own sick and twisted reasons, you used him. And you hated yourself for it.

Just as you begin to sob harder, you hear a thud against the wall, coming from the hallway. The sound echoes through the walls again, and it sounds almost like someone ran into it. You hear someone grunt and struggle, cursing. You recognize the voice and you groan, taking everything in you not to get up and check on him.

Suddenly, it feels like someone takes control of your body as you walk to your door, stepping into the hallway. You see Mike fumbling with his keys, missing the keyhole every time. He’s clearly very intoxicated. It’s surreal seeing him in such a way. He never drank when you were with him, he always told you he had to make sure Abby was always looked after and always had someone to turn to. Now that she’s not here, you guess he decided nothing is stopping him from getting shitfaced.

You walk over to him, grabbing the keys out of his hands, and unlocking the door yourself. He looks over at you, and any ounce of disdain he held for you from earlier disappeared. “Thanks..” He says quietly. You invite yourself in, making sure he gets to the couch without hurting himself. You avoid eye contact the whole time, knowing if you glance at him for even a second you’d burst out into tears.

Once he’s settled, you turn to walk away, but you feel his hand grasp your wrist, stopping you. “Please... Please stay.” He pleads. You sigh, removing his hand from you. “I can’t keep doing this Mike…” You say, finally turning towards him. He has a guilty look on his face, and he suddenly can’t seem to look at you. “I... I didn’t mean it..” He slurs, his face tipped towards the ground.

You sit down next to him, your eyebrows raised. “You didn’t mean what..?” You question. “You know. What I said earlier. I do want you in my life…” He says, his eyes tracing the floorboards. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Mike, you’re drunk.” He shakes his head, finally making eye contact. “I swear. I do. I mean.. just look at you. I treated you like dirt and you’re still helping me? You’re just.. so.. so nice.” You frown, wishing so badly he was sober. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” He reaches out, his warm hand cupping your face. His eyes bore into yours as he speaks. “I’m not ever going to lie to you again. I promise.” You’re not sure exactly what he means by “again” but you brush it off, chalking it up to more alcohol-induced rambles.

You stand up, Mike’s hand leaving your face and falling back to his lap. “I’m going to get you a glass of water, okay?” He nods, following your every move and watching you as you walk around his kitchen.

Your eyes begin dancing around every framed picture he has and every drawing Abby made he has clipped to the fridge. Your eyes settle on a picture of you, him, and Abby at an amusement park, almost exactly a month before he left you. You pick it up, your thumb rubbing over the scratches in the frame. That trip was unforgettable. That was the day you knew he’d be the one you’d spend the rest of your life with. You couldn’t imagine a world without him or Abby. You put it back, wondering why he still has it.

You fill up a glass, taking it back over to him. He drinks it in one gulp and he hiccups once it’s all gone. You place your hand on his chest, slowly pushing him back to get him to lie down. He takes the hint, lying back down on the couch. Your hand lingers there for a moment too long, but you quickly tear it away when he smiles up at you. The smile is still plastered on his face as he watches you drape a blanket over him. His eyes slip shut as he turns on his side, pulling the blanket to his chin.

You look down at him for a few moments. You just don’t understand how one moment you could hate him more than anything, and the next wish everything could go back to the way it used to be. You were half of yourself without him, and just as you started to feel complete he just had to infiltrate his way back into your life. As you watch his chest rise and fall, you just can’t help but still love him. Sadly, nothing was ever going to change that.

You slowly creep towards the door, the floorboards creaking under you. He speaks so quietly you almost don’t hear him, “There was never another girl..” You freeze and turn back to look at him. “What?” Is all you can say. He doesn’t give you any explanation for what he just grumbled. You convince yourself you’re crazy and you’re just hearing things.

That night, you don’t sleep at all. You keep replaying that moment in your head, over and over.

“There was never another girl.”

#jhutch #josh hutcherson #mike schmidt #mike schimdt x reader #agnst #fanfic #enemies to lovers #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schimdt x you #fnaf movie #clapton davis

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oops-all-concrete · 7 months

Text

Hello lovelies, 💘HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!💘

I'm back with more BG3 headcanons! Today's prompt is;

💕Modern AU; Ways the BG3 (romanced) companions are idyllicly sweet with Tav!💕

No spoilers! Tags are; A whole heckin lot of fluff and cuteness!

Lae'zel -

You have to be careful with what you say around Lae'zel. Made a minor comment 3 months ago that you wanted to revisit somewhere in the Sword Coast? Get packing, you guys are all booked to go. Asked Lae'zel to get you candy on the way home? She has 3 full bags. Say that comment her folks made last time you visited made you uncomfortable- you have a paragraph text apology from all of them the next day. She's not just someone who wants to spoil Tav, she fucking will. (If Tav manages to talk her out of going nuts with the pampering, she's surprisingly sentimental. You bet she keeps a rock in her pocket that reminds her of Tav)

Shadowheart -

She is so excited to post you. She doesn't like social media and tends to keep to herself, but after watching Tav post pictures of them both, she wanted to do the same. The minute she gets even the smallest romantic gesture, she's scrapbooking, she has a wall of Polaroids joined by a horde of hand made sketches, she's putting together little snack baskets and mailing them to Tav, she's about as obviously head over heels as a person can be, really. She's always got a camera aimed at Tav, even if they're just for her. (A good 90% are just for her eyes)

Wyll -

This man never plays games/gets online with both sides of the headphones in. It doesn't matter if the game is online, offline, urgent, time sensitive, dependent on his concentration- if Tav so much as makes a peep, he's out of his seat and across the room. Hells, he takes every chance he gets to go give Tav some attention. In the drift of leaving the waking world, Tav will definitely hear a little "One minute, Tav needs me" despite them not asking. Some footsteps. And then moments later, the warmth of the duvet being tucked all over their body and a gentle kiss to the cheek. Whispered "I love you"s and then a quiet. "I'm going to hop off for a few hours." So you can have some quiet.

Karlach -

She's one of those people that really makes you realise you have good taste in other people. Like, you can't think of a time you went on a walk and she didn't pick up some trash, help an elderly person across the street, immediately offer her seat to a pregnant woman. No matter how prideful Tav might be or not, there's a pride in the admiring looks other people give her. Little girls pass in the street and say "mum, I want to be like her when I grow up!" Everything she does makes Tav proud to be with her, yet somehow Tav is always the one under a spotlight to her. "Oh, me and my partner-" this. "Oh, my partner-" that. "I'm so proud of my Tav. Ugh, I am so lucky" she insists at every turn.

Gale -

He's a night owl, much to Tara's dismay. Wether that's because he can't sleep, he likes being awake in the dark hours or- his brain won't stop nattering at him for a gods damned minute, but either way. He's probably working, quietly cleaning, organising Tavs things so they don't have to worry. In quiet moments, between possibly making them breakfast because of course he's up that early- he's just kissing Tav on the forehead, gently, trying not to wake them. He needs them to sleep but there is not a moment in his day where he doesn't think: "Does Tav know I love them? Can I remind them once more? Even if its just for my peace of mind?" Because he will not rest if he has an inkling his live for Tav isn't at the forefront of their mind.

Astarion -

If you even suggest to this man that you should do matching outfits, he's excited. He always wants to take the wheel, but also wants Tav to have a foot in the idea. He will give ideas left and right, opinions up and down. He doesn't care if it's a date or not, cringe solstice photos, or just gym clothes, he's all for it. If you guys didn't have matching pyjamas already, you have them now, congrats. (If he's still a bloodsucker, he'll definitely still go out of his way to learn how to cook for Tav. Tokyo Ghoul rules though, so Tav gets to taste test a lot. Only the best for his little capri-sun) Overall he's just unashamed and excited to be with someone who very obviously wants to be his, visibly as possible.

(Bonus Halsin!)

Halsin -

This man lives for shared activity. He's quite alright on his own and can allow Tav their space, but going to get massages, haircuts/styles, wine tasting is his total vibe. Just relaxed gatherings together. Nobody lives a spa day like this man. It allows a level of intimacy that nature intends. Cleansing. Careful. Close. He will learn how to do Tavs hair and makeup if asked. Will take pleasure in being able to undress them and put them to bed at the end of a long day. Go on hikes and camping trips, walks through the woods, carving names into rocks and bringing back souvenirs to press into a book that's only getting thicker.

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ominous-auburn-orbs · 11 months

Text

I would make this a comic if I had the artistic talent and time, but instead you get a text post

(The circus gang have just fallen into a large pit during one of their adventures. Caine also tagged along this time)

Zooble: God DAMMIT! (They bury their head in their hands for a moment, then look to Caine) Can you teleport us out of here?

Caine: Sincerest apologies, Zooble, but I'm afraid not! If I am to truly get the same experience that you do, then I certainly can't use my powers which none of you have! All the struggles you face are a part of the adventure, anyway, to test your skills and build teamwork!

Zooble: ...Caine, you're a [BLOINK].

Pomni: Teamwork, huh? Maybe- maybe we can climb on top of each other to get out? But then how would the people at the bottom... uh, nevermind.

Jax: How about we unravel Gangle and use her as a grappling hook?

Gangle: W-what? I can't support all your weight, I might snap!

Jax: Wow, Gangle. And to think that I believed you could have a use for once.

(Ragatha harshly shoves Jax whilst giving him a clear look of disapproval. She then walks to one of the pit's walls and runs her hand along it)

Ragatha: I might be able to find some edges we can use to climb up, like rock-climbing. Just give me a minute...

Caine: So, Kinger, how are you doing? Any ideas?

Kinger: AAAH!! Oh, hi, Caine. Well, I'm in a pit right now, and I would really rather not be in one. What was your other question?..

Jax: Are you gonna contribute at all, Looney? Give us some words of encouragement or something?

Kinger: Oh! Oh, uh. We can do it, because, hmm. We've already made it this far, so there's no point in giving up now. Together, there's nothing we can't do.

(Some of the other performers actually start to feel a little bit better, which isn't what anyone was expecting)

Kinger: Yeah! Because there's a lot of fish in the sea! And a penny saved is a penny earned! Don't look at the gift horse's mouth!!

(They all immediately lose the feeling, with Zooble being exasperated and Jax being amused. Caine is still hanging off of Kinger's every word)

Kinger: WE ARE TADC!!!!!!

Caine: So true, king...

Pomni: Oh my god we're gonna die down here

#this joke was plaguing me for long enough that I needed to share it #the amazing digital circus #tadc pomni #tadc jax #tadc caine #tadc ragatha #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #caine x kinger

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soft-girl-musings · 1 year

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Last Night -- Chapter 3 (Armistice)

chapter 1 chapter 2

cross-posted to ao3

Jake Lockley x fem!Reader

tags: the long-awaited comfort to all that Hurt

wc: 1,755

fic summary: You're usually tight-lipped about your frustrations, especially when it comes to Jake. But a drink too many leaves you spilling your thoughts one by one.

__________

You don't call him that day.

Or the day after.

Maybe it's pride that keeps you from reaching out. Maybe it's fear, or some morbid curiosity to see how long he'll stay away.

Whatever the reason, it seems naive to simply call or text as if nothing's happened, to assume you can just pick up where you left off. The thought of how much he must hate you right now is enough to cement your radio silence.

The apartment is quieter than usual without Jake, Steven, or Marc underfoot. You each lead your own lives, but there’s been a fairly predictable rhythm you’ve fallen into together; this might be the longest you’ve gone without knowing when you'll see them next. As you go about your day, mixing with the guilt is a nagging feeling at the back of your mind, as if you’ve forgotten something.

If only you could forget, simply move on without addressing the issue at hand. But you don’t know what to say. You doubt a run-of-the-mill apology would be sufficient.

So you lean into the solitude. That first night, you scoot your pillow to the middle of the bed and sprawl out. It’s been a long time since you’ve slept alone; most nights you either wind up tangled with Steven, with Marc resting neatly beside you, or cocooned in Jake’s arms. You stretch and sigh: you may have to get used to this.

The next morning is just as unnerving, the additional hustle and bustle missing from your own routine. You eye the empty bathroom counter as you get dressed: it seems so daunting, so final.

You drink your coffee alone. There’s no one sitting across from you regaling you with trivia, making a dry remark at your brewing method, or sidling up beside you with an attitude fresher than his morning breath. Maybe it’s the caffeine, but you shake at the absence.

The day goes by in solitude again.

That night, you pile your pillows beside you. The bed feels colder than the night before.

__________

Fate (or karma) forces your hand on the third day.

You can be absentminded, but you're in rare form this week. So when you hear the door click behind you when you step out to receive a delivery, it takes a moment to register your mistake.

You're locked out.

And there's no spare key.

That fact doesn't stop you from searching the doorframe, the welcome mat, every inch of the space around your apartment door before you slide to the ground, head in your hands.

They have the spare.

It was a big step for you: giving them a key to your place. Specifically, giving Jake the key. You'd met him last, and wanted him to feel special, like he was an equal part of this relationship. You'd made a big show of it too, wrapping his key in a box and presenting it ceremoniously one night at dinner. It was, in his words, cute as hell.

–Now, however, it adds insult to injury, since Jake was also the one who'd remind you to make a copy for times like this.

You groan, letting your head thud against the door. You know what you have to do.

Thankfully you'd kept your phone with you. After wallowing for another minute or two, you finally send the text:

I'm locked out of my apartment. Can you come let me in?

Hardly a minute goes by before you get a response:

On my way.

You anxiously bite your lip when you read it. Usually they initial their texts, depending on who's responding. Maybe they won't stay long. Can't say I blame them.

Fifteen minutes go by before you hear footsteps in the stairwell. You shoot up, not sure how close you should stand to the door. You settle for leaning on the wall between the neighbor's door and yours, distracting yourself with the damned parcel that started all this.

The door to the stairwell opens. Your breath catches when you recognize the flat cap of the man you'd hoped to have a bit more time to prepare to see.

Jake approaches wordlessly, barely acknowledging your presence. From where you stand, you can see the slight shadow of stubble that mirrors the color under his eyes. He looks… tired.

He takes his key ring out and fumbles with it for a moment, searching for your apartment key. He still hasn't looked at you. You open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it.

"I got worried when you didn't call."

You scoff, the sound slipping out before you even register it. You see his jaw clench, and your hand flies to cover your mouth.

"Sorry," you blurt out. "It's just… that's kinda what led to this whole situation, isn't it? Irony, or whatever," you add with a forced smile. He raises an eyebrow.

"Hm." He grunts as he turns the key, unlocking your apartment door. He holds it open, eyes to the ground again.

You mutter your thanks and brush past him, entering quickly. He doesn't budge.

You set your package down and turn back to the door.

"Jake…" Your voice comes out more defeated than you'd intended. His eyes finally meet yours.

Oh, he looks exhausted.

"Do you… want some coffee?" You shift your weight nervously as you ask. "I made a fresh pot. Well, it was fresh before-"

"Sure." He steps inside, letting the door close behind him.

Your forced smile softens into a real one. "Good… okay, good."

You leave Jake standing at the door as you rush to the kitchen, a strange sense of urgency taking over. You select his favorite mug from the dish rack and pour his coffee, adding some sweetened condensed milk (he'd never admitted to liking it, but you've always seen him sneak it in after you pour yours).

Holding his mug and the one you'd made earlier, you head to the kitchen table. Jake follows, setting his coat on the couch. He takes the seat directly across from you.

The silence of your empty apartment pales in comparison to the deafening quiet that now hangs between you. Jake takes a sip of his coffee; you notice his eyes light up a bit. He still doesn't say anything, but his shoulders visibly relax.

"How did you-" "Jake, I wanted to-"

You both pause, and a nervous laugh slips out before you can stop it. Jake begins again.

"How did you feel... after? In the morning?"

You shrug. "I got the hangover I deserved."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true. Karma's a bitch."

You fidget with the handle of your coffee mug. It's now or never.

"Jake, when I said... what I said, I need you to know I didn't mean it. I don't mean it."

A sad smile tugs at his lips. "I think we both know that alcohol can do a lot of things, but it can't make you a liar. Quite the opposite."

Your hand tenses around your mug. "...I guess I did mean it, a little. But I said it in the worst possible way, I cannot emphasize that enough."

He sips his coffee and looks away. After a moment, he speaks again.

"Do you really feel like I suffocate you?" His eyes are low, as is his voice.

"No, of course not." He gives you a look, one you know all too well. Bullshit.

You shift in your seat. "Fine. In the spirit of honesty: I feel... trapped, sometimes. Like we can't move on until you hear everything that's happening in my head."

Jake leans forward, resting his folded arms on the table. "Really," he asks, his tone measured.

You nod. You hate how your voice shakes as you continue. "It was fine at first, but sometimes… sometimes it can be a bit... much, you know? Like, I don't always want a solution, or to tell you everything right away. Sometimes I need to feel things on my own before I talk about it."

You finally reach for him, your fingertips grazing the tabletop. "But that doesn't excuse what I said. Jake… I'm so sorry."

You wouldn't blame him if he chose to walk away. But you hold his gaze, silently pleading with him to stay. To fight, to say something. Say anything.

Jake's brow furrows as he chooses his words.

"Querida..." he trails off. You sigh in relief at the endearment.

"You hurt me. I guess I pushed you, and I’m sorry for that, but what you said in the car... that hurt."

"Totally understand. I was out of line–"

You're cut off by the sudden touch of his hand, his thumb tracing slow circles on your palm. The crease in his brow softens as his gaze returns to you.

"But… I forgive you." He squeezes your hand to emphasize the three words you've been longing to hear.

You lace your fingers with his, tears threatening to form. "You're going easy on me, Lockley."

"Maybe," he smirks, a playful glimmer in his still-tired eyes. "But I think we could use easy right now."

You nod, relief blossoming in your chest with every passing second. "We're still finding our rhythm," you offer, squeezing his hand in return.

"I know, I know, just... don't cut me out, okay?"

"Never."

You eagerly move to the seat closest to him, budding elation slicing through the previous tension surrounding you both. It feels good to be this close again.

"I promise to not cut you out, but I do want better boundaries for us, okay? So we know where the line is," you add as you grasp his free hand in your own.

"Sounds like a plan, cariño." Jake leans in, tugging you closer. "I'm all ears."

Your cheeks heat at the proximity. The red tinting his own features is enough to confirm he’d missed you just as much as you'd missed him.

“Let’s sort that out later.” You grin up at him. “Want to hear what Evan did last week?”

Jake kisses the back of your hand, his lips curling into an impish smile against your skin. "Please, I’ve been itching to know what that pendejo did for days.”

So there you sit, hand in hand as you spill the beans on your less-than-ideal week. The remaining stress rolls off you as you speak, Jake hanging on your every word. Both cups of coffee grow cold, but you couldn’t care less. You’ve missed this. And as you talk, you know the feeling’s mutual.

You’ll be just fine.

__________

A/N: ok i'm a bit emotional bc in my 15 years of reading/brainstorming fics, this is the first story i've ever finished. definitely celebrating tonight. thank you to everyone who supported this angsty brainchild; i'm excited to write more Moon Boys this fall!

thank you so much for reading <3

tag list: @lunar-ghoulie @romanarose @casa-boiardi @chrissymodi-frost @shadystarlightgentlemen @ivystoryweaver (y'all rock, lmk if you want to be kept in the loop for future stories!)

#:)#moon knight #moon knight fanfic #moon knight fanfiction #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley/reader #jake lockley x fem!reader #jake lockley/fem!reader #jake lockley fanfic #jake lockley fanfiction #jake lockley angst #(i love tagging this is such a fun thing to do)#my works

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year

Text

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 15: August II

{{ Chapter 14: July II | Chapter 16: September II }} Chapter Directory

SURPRISE

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, explicit descriptions of a panic attack, levi being bad with technology lol, hurt/comfort ✧ word count ➼ ~5.1k

It had only been a day since you denounced Levi as an acceptable roommate, but it felt like ages. Neither of you reached out to each other. There were no texts, no phone calls—nothing. You hadn’t even gone home since then, electing to stay the night at Petra’s. It wasn’t great. You didn’t have your things, it was a last minute call which resulted in Petra not being prepared to suddenly have a guest over, and you were just overall grumpy and anxious. Part of you wished you had just sucked it up and gone home.

When you did finally get yourself to go home and walk in through the door, Levi wasn’t there. It was fairly early into the afternoon, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he was on a shift at the café or in lab. Deciding that shutting yourself in at home would likely have you crawling up the walls by the time Levi got home, you quickly put away the rest of your things that you had haphazardly left out before you abruptly left the previous day, grabbing your laptop and heading to the café shortly afterwards.

Your anxiety had been bugging you non-stop for the past few hours. You were still very much pissed at him, but you were wanting to at least physically see him and apologize for storming off. If things worked out in your favor, he’d be in a much better mood to discuss whatever the hell had led him to regressing so far back. You hated to admit it, but you did care enough about him that you wanted to work to fix your relationship instead of cutting him off and being content with hating each other’s presence.

The frown was more than apparent on your face when you walked into the café and saw Marlo at the tea station instead of Levi. In addition to not being able to talk to Levi about what had happened, you also didn’t have your regular Matcha waiting for you. It was a silly thing to be disappointed over, but not having your comfort drink only further soured your mood.

You sat down in your usual seat, trying your best to not be completely transparent with your mood. Your fight with Levi didn’t have to be anyone else’s problem.

Marlo gave you a confused look when he saw you sit in front of him.

“What? This is my seat.”

It technically wasn’t. It was a public café, so there wasn’t such a thing as assigned seats, but you were in that particular spot nearly every day, so all the staff—and even some of the customers—knew that the seat was effectively yours.

“Oh hey, _____!” you heard Nicolo call out as he made his way over to you. “Picking up more pastries?”

You scoffed at him as if you were questioning if he was seriously asking you that question.

“Don’t act like you don’t know this routine already, Nicolo. Club events don’t start up until a few weeks into the semester,” you said as you pulled your laptop out of your backpack. “Otherwise I’m just here to study.”

“But classes haven’t started yet,” Marlo muttered from behind the counter.

“And to write,” you mumbled while giving Marlo a side-eye.

“Write?” he asked in a genuinely confused tone.

“Unfortunately, this school’s capstone project for me involves publishing a light novel so I’m getting a head’s start,” you explained before you furrowed your eyebrows together as you realized something. “Wait, aren’t you also an English major?”

You looked directly at him and you could feel him somewhat panicking from the judgment in your voice. You vaguely remembered him talking about wanting to do something related to writing that’s involved with the criminal justice system.

“J-Just thinking about it!” Marlo quickly explained. “Haven’t decided anything yet.”

“Well, you should take a look into the school’s requirements. This light novel’s a bitch to get through.”

Despite sounding irritated, the conversation with Nicolo and Marlo did improve your mood. It at least helped distract you from what was really on your mind. Plus, you were able to feel helpful, even mentioning the writing conference in a few weeks to Marlo, suggesting that he attend if he wanted to seriously pursue an English degree.

You were chatting for a while and Levi was almost completely absent from your mind during the conversation itself, but quickly arose again when both Nicolo and Marlo had to get back to work. Your eyes fell onto the empty tea station that was usually tended to by the very person you were trying to keep your mind off of. You could almost imagine him standing there, scowling at nothing in particular, while occasionally glancing up at you once he noticed that you were staring at him.

He wasn’t actually there, though.

You perked up as soon as you heard the door open, immediately turning around to see if it was Levi coming in. Instead, a bunch of freshmen walked in, which earned a disappointed sigh to escape from your lips. You grumpily turned back towards your laptop in an attempt to continue writing, but your anxiety made it impossible to focus. You had been here for almost an hour at this point and you had written three sentences and got stuck in a loop of editing the same sentence five different times, finding yourself regularly alt-tabbing out of your document to check out your socials and scroll. You weren’t getting any work done.

Your eyes immediately flashed up towards the window as you heard a fire truck rush past. You silently thanked yourself that you were indoors to save your ears from the obnoxious siren that you would have been forced to endure had you been outside.

Fuck me if I’ve left the hair straightener on again or some shit like that.

Curious and slightly paranoid, and with the fire truck far away enough to not cause you hearing damage, you stepped outside, and let out a sigh of relief when you saw that the fire truck was not heading in the direction of your apartment.

However, your relaxed state didn’t last for long. Your eyes widened as you saw the fire truck make a turn towards Levi’s lab. You felt your heart rate hasten, but you took an unsteady breath, trying to calm yourself down. Just because they were driving in that direction did not mean that his building was their destination.

You tried to shrug off your anxiety, but it was bugging you to death. You pulled out your phone and shot a text to Levi.

> [you (2:55pm)]: levi, are you in lab right now?

You stared at your phone for a few minutes. There was no answer. There wasn’t even a read receipt.

You dialed his number and called.

There was no answer.

You felt yourself somewhat panicking after you were unable to get ahold of Levi. You didn’t have a car and it was too long of a walk to just casually go to his lab to check if he was okay. You continued to try to regulate, telling yourself that there were plenty of buildings in that direction and that you were just having “what if” thoughts.

This calmed you down for approximately ten seconds before you remembered that his building is the only one that was really being used because it was still summer. Classes weren’t in session and students hadn’t moved in yet. Almost all of the buildings in that area were out of function for at least another week.

You rapidly paced around in circles outside of the café, unable to contain the panic that was quickly building up within you. Your thoughts immediately began snowballing into wondering how Levi would be able to get out if the entire building went up in flames and that initial thought alone was able to immediately send you into a state of panic.

Realizing that catastrophizing while being restless outside wasn’t going to do anything, you tried to take a few deep breaths and went back inside. However, if you couldn’t focus before, then you really couldn’t focus now. Everything was beginning to bug you: the coffee machines were too loud, the air conditioning was whirring obnoxiously above you, your eyes hurt from squinting at your laptop screen, and even the feeling of your keyboard under your fingers was killing you. You were overstimulated. You felt like you were hearing every single background conversation within the building.

“Was that really Dr. Smith’s lab that got set ablaze?” you heard one student say.

Your entire body tensed up.

Smith.

Erwin Smith.

That’s the lab that Levi works at.

“Yeah, it looked pretty bad. I hope everyone got out in time,” replied another student.

You felt your heart drop from your chest all the way into your stomach. Your skin grew cold and you felt your ability to breathe rapidly diminishing. Some part of your brain wanted to desperately believe that the student was wrong, or that you had misheard them.

You gave Marlo an intense look.

“Did you hear from Levi at all today?”

Marlo shook his head. You switched your gaze over to Nicolo, who also shook his head.

Feeling your breathing get dysregulated, you knew that a panic attack was approaching. Your hands were shaking as they hovered over your keyboard. You could barely keep yourself together. You had to leave. You had to go home and hope that Levi would come home. You had to know if he was okay.

The thought of something happening to him made you want to break down and cry on the spot. You didn’t want his last thought of you to be such a negative one. You didn’t want to lose him. You didn’t want your words of denouncing him and stating that you regretted agreeing to live with him again to be the last ones he heard from you.

You had lied the previous night when you told Petra that you wouldn’t give a shit if you never saw Levi again. The thought now devastated you. You wouldn’t be able to rest until you knew if he was okay—and you’d be absolutely horrified had something actually happened to him.

~~~~~

Going home didn’t make you feel much better. The only thing that helped was that you were alone, so that you could technically break down in a safe space if needed, but you didn’t want that either.

You had rushed home, tossed your backpack onto the couch, and immediately ran to the freezer to grab an ice cube. You held it tightly in your hand, trying to focus on the somewhat burning-like sensation that it was creating in your palm as it melted. You were sitting at the dining room table, holding your fist over the table, not caring that there was now a puddle of melted water forming underneath your fist.

Your leg was bouncing up and down and you were still shaking. Holding the ice cube was painful as fuck, but you had to grip onto it tightly. If you let it go for even a second, you’d already feel yourself dissociating. You barely remembered the walk home—everything was a blur, your eyes were out of focus, and you couldn’t hear anything except for the blood rushing through your ears.

I couldn’t be bothered if I never had to interact with him ever again.

You spoke those words to Petra less than 24 hours ago.

You felt tears building at the corners of your eyes as the lump in your throat began to rise up. What if your comment had jinxed it?

What if you really did see him for the last time?

Suddenly all the memories of him being there for you began to flash through your head. You remembered him coaxing you through an anxiety attack. You remembered him staying by your side when you were dealing with nightmares. You remembered him coming to rescue you from your borderline abusive ex-boyfriend.

And all of that was just…gone.

You squeezed at the ice cube harder, swallowing down your tears. You couldn’t fathom losing him too. You hadn’t even fully processed the death of your parents, and imagining losing Levi too was too much to bear.

You kept glancing down at your phone every time it lit up, hoping that it was a text from Levi. You didn’t even care if he sent you a text message full of insults meticulously designed to upset you. You just needed to hear that he was okay.

Instead, you were met with notifications from your various social media accounts, talking about some dumb party happening over the weekend or how upsetting the most recent episode of a drama was. It was driving you nuts, and you ended up having to turn all your notifications off other than direct messages. It took you much longer than it should have. You couldn’t stop your shaking.

You went through so many ice cubes that your hands were red and in pain and your fingers were so cold that you felt like you could barely move them. Every second that passed by was agonizing. You felt all of your muscles tense, shooting pain throughout every inch of your body, but you couldn’t get yourself to relax.

Your head shot up immediately upon hearing the door handle. Your lips slightly parted as you fixated your gaze intensely at the door.

As soon as you saw his stupid, short figure step instead, you immediately stood up. Your movements were so rough that your chair made a sound of protest against the floor as you roughly forced it back. Part of you was scared to relax. You wondered if it was a hallucination—an image conjured up by your mind to help you process through the distress. Your breathing was unsteady as you tried to contain your shaking.

When you realized he was real, you felt as if all the air in your body was rushing back into you. You were still shaking, but you could at least now ground yourself in his presence.

He was okay.

The relief threatened to engulf you and swallow you whole.

“Hi,” you said abruptly.

“Hi?” he said hesitantly, raising his eyebrow at your strange behavior.

You had to force yourself to look down to keep yourself from crying out in relief that he was here standing out in front of you. You heard him take a step forward.

You didn’t give him a chance to take another. You immediately rushed in, wrapping your arms around his neck, squeezing him in a tight hug as your tears finally fell. You buried your face into his shoulder, continuing to hold onto him tightly to reassure yourself that he was still there.

You had tried to hold yourself back, but you were so overwhelmed and so relieved that your body reacted before you had a chance to think about it or stop it from happening.

Your bottom lip quivered as you let out an unsteady breath.

“I-I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You were afraid that you were going to break into a full-on sob if you spoke any louder.

Levi froze under you, his eyes widening in shock, not expecting the sudden gesture, especially with how the two of you had fought the previous day.

He didn’t pull away. You felt his arms wrap around you, resting his hands on the back of your waist as you trembled against him.

You tightened your hug on his shoulders, as if you were afraid that he was going to disappear into dust the moment you let go. You took it back. You took it all back. You were lying when you said that you’d be okay with never seeing him again. Imagining that felt like literal hell.

Now that you had him in front of you again, you never wanted to let go. You felt his hands on your waist, his heart beating against yours, and his breathing that helped stabilize yours. You still hadn’t fully processed how relieved you were when you saw him walk in through the door.

You began to pull away, but you immediately pulled him back in shortly after, except this time, you planted your lips on his. You pulled him into a gentle, but deep kiss, as if you were wanting to communicate all the heartbreak and relief that you had felt throughout the past few hours through just the kiss itself. His lips were soft, just like you had imagined that one night when the two of you were on the Ferris Wheel. You recognized the earthy scent of his bedsheets that was much stronger now that you were up against him.

Before you could freeze upon realizing what you had done, you felt him return the kiss. He was surprisingly gentle as he further pressed his own lips upon yours, which made your heart pound with…excitement? Anxiety? Regret?

That ripped you out of your stupor and you immediately froze and drew back, holding your fingers up to your lips in horror at what you had just done.

“S-Sorry-”

You immediately averted your gaze, your face feeling hot, taking a few steps back. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to describe the horror coursing through your veins.

If you had gathered the courage to look up, you’d see that his cheeks also had a hint of red to them, traveling up to the back of his ears. You could tell that he was standing agonizingly still.

He remained silent. He didn’t know what to say, and neither did you. You had been so caught up in the moment of relief of knowing that he was okay that you had impulsively pulled him into a hug and then a kiss without even giving yourself a moment to process what you were doing.

The silence was killing you. The tension from your fight before had been quickly replaced with another.

You cleared your throat and forced yourself to talk—a distraction, if nothing else.

“H-Heard there was a fire at lab.”

It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Yeah?” he muttered.

His voice was husky, likely from inhaling smoke. Now that you thought about it, in addition to that earthy scent you drew comfort from, there was also a hint of smoke mixed in. You quickly realized that he was likely walking through the smoke that was now clinging onto his clothing.

“Do…Do you want water?” you asked hesitantly. “I’ll get you water.”

Without even giving him a chance to respond, you turned and made a beeline to the kitchen to prep a glass of water for him, barely able to contain your shaking enough to hold the glass still against the dispenser.

He rarely got to see you in a caregiver-type mode, other than the few comments you’d make about the freshmen needing to be responsible when going out to parties. He never gave you a chance to.

He was too in his head to notice. Everything was overwhelming. He was still in survival mode after watching the lab go up in flames, although the feeling of your lips on his was able to somewhat rip him out of his thoughts and back into the present world. If he wasn’t in survival mode, he probably would have reacted much more to the kiss—and the fact that he had kissed you back.

It was probably for the best. Even if he did react, he didn’t know what to say, but he couldn’t deny that it helped him calm down enough to make his way to the dining room table and take a seat.

You handed him the glass of water and sat down next to him.

You remained silent for a few minutes, wondering if you should talk about what had just happened. You knew the answer: yes, you did have to talk about it, but you decided against it. You glanced up at him, originally thinking he was just quiet about the kiss, but upon seeing his body posture and facial expression, you knew that something else was going on. He was incredibly tense and quiet, and his eyes weren’t entirely focused. You had never seen him in this state.

“What happened?” you asked quietly.

He looked at you with a grim expression.

“...something wasn’t plugged in properly or something,” he muttered, moving his gaze down from your eyes towards his hand that was now resting on the table.

“Everyone got out okay?”

He nodded.

You let out a sigh of relief upon the reassurance that everyone had got out safely, but you quickly realized that Levi did not look relieved at all.

“Lev’...?” you asked hesitantly.

He turned his head slightly to the side, further avoiding your gaze.

You had a sneaking suspicion over what it was that he might have been upset about. After all, Levi was always talking about his papers and how easily he’d fall behind if he wasn’t diligent. Plus, Levi was not one to get upset easily.

Levi never talked about his financial struggles in undergrad, so you weren’t aware of all of the details behind his mixed emotions towards the higher education system, but you knew that he busted his ass to get to where he was and that he’d be absolutely devastated if all of that were to just suddenly disappear.

“Where’s your phone?” you began asking, probing him to see if your suspicions were right.

No response.

“Your laptop?”

Still no response.

“Lev’-”

“Can you cut it out with the fucking questions already?!” he scolded, finally speaking up and cutting you off. You saw him clench up his fist and grit his teeth. He was desperately trying to hold himself together.

Part of you wanted to be hurt by his harshness and dismissive tone. Part of you wanted to be offended, but you knew he was hurting.

You immediately got up, and Levi looked further away, assuming that you were going to storm out of the apartment or lock yourself in your room because you got offended.

His breath got caught in his throat when you instead pulled him into another hug, this time holding his head against your chest.

“It’s okay,” you whispered as you held him tightly. “You can ask for help if you need it, Levi. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Those words hit close to home for him—because he really did have to go through everything on his own. His mom passed away when he was a kid and his uncle was useless and negligent. Every step that he had taken towards getting to where he was now was taken on his own.

He remained quiet as he listened to your heart beating against your chest. It was taking everything to hold himself together, but he couldn’t deny that having you against him brought him a slight sense of calm that was enough to keep him from falling apart right then and there.

“...don’t need your help,” he mumbled, shrugging you off.

He’s always had to do things on his own. This wasn’t any different.

You squatted down in front of him so that he couldn’t keep avoiding your gaze, looking at him directly in those pained gray eyes of his.

“You’re lying.”

He looked away.

You leaned towards him so that he couldn’t fully avoid your gaze no matter how hard he tried.

“Even if you didn’t need my help, you lost both your phone and your laptop. What else did you lose?”

He remained silent as he clenched his fist in irritation. All he needed right now was for you to go away so he could figure this whole ordeal out.

“Levi Ackerman, if you think I’m a pain in the ass at baseline, you can be certain I’ll be 100x more of a pain in the ass if you don’t talk now.”

You rarely showed this side of you. Even when you were in “mom mode” around the freshmen, it was always muted down. You’ve generally suppressed this side of you because other people generally thought it was annoying, but you were sick of pretending. You were sick of putting on that submissive façade for everyone else’s benefit except your own.

Plus, it allowed you to distract yourself from the fact that you had impulsively kissed him.

Levi’s lips parted to speak, but it took a few seconds before any actual words came out.

“...the papers are gone,” he said quietly. “All the papers and data and research I’ve gathered. Just fucking…gone.”

His voice was slightly wavering towards the end. If you looked closer, you could see that he was even shaking, likely from a mix of overwhelm, rage, and despair. He really was pouring all of his energy into keeping himself together. You could understand why he would be distraught.

“What did you save them on?”

Levi scoffed in disbelief at your continued questioning.

“Does it fucking matter?! My entire laptop went down. Everything saved on there is gone.”

You didn’t back off.

“Answer the question,” you said sternly.

He finally looked up at you, bewildered with your persistence.

“Word,” he said after a long pause, accompanied with a glare shot in your direction. “Microsoft Word.”

“Is it a school account that you use for it?”

He blinked at you in confusion.

“Why the hell does that-”

He was interrupted by you snapping in his eyes to get his attention.

“Answer the question, for fuck’s sake.”

He clenched his jaw as he stared at you in disapproval. He had never seen you like this and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“Yes, it’s a school account,” he whispered, still unsure of why you were asking. “What’s your point?”

You didn’t answer him, immediately going over to the couch and pulling out your own computer. You came back and set it on the dining table, taking care to avoid the little puddle of water that had formed from when you were desperately squeezing the ice cubes earlier.

He didn’t see what you were exactly doing, but he vaguely saw you pull up a web browser version of Microsoft OneDrive.

You pushed your laptop towards him.

“Log in.”

He just stared at you without making a move towards your computer, skeptical as to what you were trying to do.

“Fire alarms give you hearing loss?” you said in an exasperated tone. “Log in.”

He still shot you a skeptical look, but eventually went to type in his login information.

The frown immediately disappeared off his face and you saw his eyes slightly lighten up upon seeing nearly all of his files show up on the screen.

“It likely didn’t sync anything too recent if the internet went out, but at least everything from before should be there.”

He slightly glanced at you, unsure of what to say. You had literally saved his ass.

Part of you forgot that although he didn’t seem like it, Levi was not the best when it came to navigating modern technology. You even recalled when you first moved in with him and you essentially had to fist fight him to let you set up an automated payment system for rent and utilities.

You gave him an awkward nod and shuffled around a bit, suddenly self-conscious now that his eyes were on you and the immediate tension had dissipated.

“My laptop went down at some point before the whole…thing with Zack happened,” you began to explain, pausing slightly when you brought up what you now simply deemed as The Shitshow™. “Thought I lost all of my work on my light novel and that I’d have to start over. Found out the school has a cloud system…so as long as your main account is logged into on your laptop, it’ll upload.”

He was silent as his hand gently hovered over your keyboard.

“And the school will be willing to help finance a new laptop for you,” you continued, “or at least to let you use one of theirs when needed.”

No explanation was needed. Even from the minimal amount of information that you were giving him, he could tell that you previously had to navigate your way through the school resources for crises.

“...thanks,” he finally mumbled after a while.

Your eyes widened. You had genuinely not expected a direct thanks from him.

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes flashed between him and your laptop screen.

“I…”

You shut your mouth after you trailed off. Now that the immediate disaster was handled, the other disaster came to mind: your shared kiss.

You wondered if you should bring it up, and so did he.

“...I’ll give you some time to sort through everything,” you eventually said, deflecting the potential topic. “I want my laptop back eventually though.”

You pointed at your laptop, shooting a small half-smile at him to try to lighten the mood.

He nodded and began clicking through his files.

“_____,” he quietly called out right after you got up and began walking towards your room. “Thanks.”

He thanked you again and you smiled at him this time.

“Don’t mention it,” you responded quietly before turning back towards your room.

Once the door was shut behind you, you collapsed face-up onto your bed, staring at the ceiling fan.

The past few hours had been a complete emotional rollercoaster. You had gotten into a fight last evening, been anxious literally all night, morning, and afternoon, had panicked over if he had gotten hurt in the fire, been anxious again from waiting, before kissing him and jumping into caregiver mode right after.

Your face completely flushed up again upon realizing that you had kissed him. A part of you was really embarrassed, but a bigger part of you was just confused.

He had kissed you back.

If he didn’t, you’d be able to just write it off as high emotions and that you were reacting out of instinct or that you didn’t have another outlet to express your relief that he was okay—but he did kiss you back. Now, you’d be forced to explore whatever the hell that meant.

You couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at the corners of your lips as you remembered the feeling of his soft lips on yours and his firm grasp on your back during it. You couldn’t help but draw comfort from how it felt when you had your arms wrapped around him as you impulsively embraced him. Chaos had literally just struck your lives, yet the feeling of him on you was enough to bring you some sense of calm during the middle of it.

No matter what else you told yourself, or what else you tried to do to distract yourself, you couldn’t get the feeling of his lips on yours out of your head.

aight so 1) the publish early option on the poll won, and 2) consider this an apology for making july so angsty skdfjksdjf #: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @alexkibutsuji @moonchild-angel

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scarletvanfleet · 23 days

Text

Pairings: Josh Kiszka X Danny Wagner

Word Count: 13.9k

18+ NO MINORS! NO SMUT, BUT ADULT CONTENT BELOW CUT.

“Danny, did you know that the ancient Greeks recognized many different types of love? Eight really. But most people, if they do know about it, only know about three of them.”

Read on AO3

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, New Year's Eve, Angst, Pining, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Alcohol, Drug Use, Mushrooms, Marijuana, Confessions, Bonfires, Jealousy, Anger, Name-Calling, Coming Out, Kissing, Holding Hands, Shock, Frustration, Explicit Language, Guilt, Banter, Vomiting, Hallucinations, Paranoia, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Hangover, Anxiety, Awkwardness, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Apologies, Difficult Decisions, Awkward Conversations, Tension, Emotional Hurt, Panic Attacks, References to Arctic Monkeys, Crying, Sad Ending, Heartbreak.

Author's Note below the cut.

A/N: Hello again my friends. This is something I have been working on for many months and honestly I would not have finished without the continual support of my friends @kultavalo (#1 Beta Reader) & @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka.

Please note that this read is not for the faint of heart. That being said, heed all above warnings and DO NOT continue if it is not for you.

If I have by chance missed something, do please let me know.

𓇢𓆸

Danny knew that when the Kiszka brothers joined a fraternity at MSU, he would eventually get roped into coming to some kind of party. What he didn’t expect was that it would be New Years of all things. He was more expecting a toga party or some other off the wall event. But no, it was two weeks before the thirty-first that Danny got a text from his best friend Sam’s older brother Josh inviting him to come out to their frat’s big night. He was apprehensive at first, never really being one to really party much. He would rather have stay at home in the safety and security of his own bed. But when Josh hit him with the “I miss you” text, he lost all sense of anxiety surrounding the idea of being grouped in with a bunch of strangers.

“I miss you” wouldn’t have hit nearly as hard as it did if Danny hadn’t been secretly pining over Josh since they were in High School. Of course Sam was never the wiser to his crush and Danny thought for the longest time that he would like to keep it that way.

Until now.

Danny was old enough now that he felt he had little left to lose by making his move on Josh. He just didn’t know how to go about it. But planning never did seem to make things easier for him in the dating department. It always seemed like it went better if things developed organically. Though he did promise himself that no matter what, he was going to try to be Josh’s New Year’s kiss.

Josh was everything that Danny had always wanted in a partner. He was sweet, loving, kind, and shared his love around freely. He was absolutely beautiful as well, with his cropped mane of curly chestnut colored hair, lightly golden tan skin, and chocolate colored eyes. He was much shorter than Danny, but Danny loved the height difference as it made it so that Josh’s head rested perfectly on his chest every time they hugged.

He did indeed miss all three of the Kiszka brothers when they’d made the move to East Lansing to go to school, and Danny had stayed behind, preferring to focus on other ventures for the time being. He missed the days of playing music in their garage and sneaking alcohol from their parents' cabinets. But those days were long gone and now all that was left was the lingering emptiness that came with having his three closest friends living far away from him.

The day of the 31st came and Danny had his bag packed and ready to go. He loaded up his car and quickly drove by the bank to grab some cash that Jake, Josh's twin, had actually recommended he bring to pitch in for tonight's beverages. In the short phone call Jake had also mentioned that the fraternity brothers were planning on making jungle juice. Which Danny thought sounded intriguing, as he had never heard of such a thing before.

As he left town he thought back to Sam, a small worry knot tying itself within the depths of his stomach as he considered how his friend would react to him making a move on his brother. Would he think it was weird? Would he be okay with it? His mind raced as he drove down the highway. He also thought about Jake and how close he was to Josh and what he might think of the situation as well. Danny groaned and rubbed a hand over his face.

This was going to be a long night.

𓇢𓆸

When he arrived at the boy’s house he was pleasantly surprised to find a small red brick home with a tiny front yard that was neatly kept. As he stepped out of his car he saw Sam throw open the door and run down the pathway towards him. He jumped straight into Danny’s waiting arms and hugged him tightly.

“Danny boy!” He yelled loudly as he rocked him back and forth.

“Hey Sammy boy. How are you?” He asked, taking a step back from him and putting his hands on Sam’s shoulders so that he could get a full view of him. He looked pretty much the same as he had this past summer, save for his hair being a bit longer. Sam shared some of the same features as the twins, but his were sharper and more defined. His hair hung long and nearly completely straight past his shoulders, only the slightest of curls could be perceived at the nape of his neck. Same chestnut color and pretty dark eyes, but his face was longer and leaner. His whole body was, really. He was also taller than them, closer to Danny's height.

“I'm good, I'm good. Glad you're here! We were just about to start getting ready to head over to the fraternity house. Do you wanna like, catch a shower or anything?" Sam asked as he opened up Danny's trunk, grabbed his bag, and swung it over his shoulder.

“Nah I'm good, showered this morning. Is what I'm wearing good? I brought some other stuff because I wasn't sure what to wear." Danny tried to take his bag from Sam but he wasn't having it. He turned away from Danny and headed back up the pathway to the house, looking back to see if Danny was following. Which he was.

“Okay cool, yeah man, wear whatever you want. It's casual. But if you're looking to pick someone up you might have to try harder than that. Girls here are a little harder to get than back home." Sam winked at him and then opened the door, holding it open so Danny could enter.

If only Sam knew.

The house was decorated pretty randomly and haphazardly with different music and movie posters, various plants, and little tidbits everywhere. The furniture was mismatched but comfortable. It reminded him much of the garage where they all hung out as teenagers. Only this was much cleaner. Probably thanks to Jake and his pension for tidiness.

Right as Danny was thinking about Jake, he came around the corner from the kitchen with a towel over his shoulder and a wide smile on his face. His straight hair had gotten longer too, but his face had remained the same, nearly identical to Josh's but with a slightly more upturned nose and deeper set eyes.

“Hey Danny! Glad to see you made it in one piece!" He clapped him on the shoulder before bringing him in for a brief hug.

“Yeah the drive wasn't too bad luckily. You never know how it can get with Michigan in wintertime you know?" Danny shrugged and continued glancing around the house. He hoped Josh was here somewhere but it was looking like it was just the three of them.

“Josh is at the store already with some of the guys picking up stuff for the jungle juice tonight." Sam said as he tossed Danny's bag to the couch. He always seemed to know what Danny was thinking before he even said it.

“Oh okay. Speaking of which. I grabbed some cash like Jake recommended if you just wanna give it to whoever. Also, what even is jungle juice?” Danny pulled the bills out of his wallet and pressed them into Jake's palm, who shoved them into his own front pocket.

"Essentially it's a bunch of different types of alcohol and juices all mixed together in a big tub.Sometimes we put fruit in it. Tastes great usually but just be careful. It's stronger than it seems, and don’t trust the fruit if it’s been in there a while.” Jake playfully knocked into his shoulder before turning to go back into the kitchen from which he had emerged.

“Oh I don't know how much I'll be drinking tonight…” Danny made eye contact with Sam again who gave him a small smile.

" It's New Year's Danny! No better time to become a drunken menace to society. Don't worry, there are designated drivers to bring us all home safely.” Sam made a cross over his heart and smiled at Danny.

" If you say so Sam.”

𓇢𓆸

It was about an hour later that they made it over to the fraternity house. Jake, being the responsible older brother that he was, had insisted upon making them eat before heading over. Danny had also taken the opportunity to change into a halfway buttoned black shirt and black jeans. He thought he looked rather nice with his long dark curls falling over his shoulders. He definitely could use the confidence boost to get through what he was planning for the night.

There were already some people milling about in the house and on the patio when the three of them arrived. Jake led them inside, making short introductions here and there just in case Danny should need someone throughout the night and not be able to find one of them. Josh was still nowhere to be seen and Danny was starting to become anxious that somehow he had missed the older boy completely yet again.

Finally he heard it. The loud and easily recognizable laughter that could only come from Josh himself. Danny stiffened a little but quickly recovered before anyone noticed. Finally, they walked into a large, wide open room with a pool table in the center and a couch pushed up against the wall. A large TV stood at the other end of the room, and a few stray chairs were placed around the table. And there was Josh, sitting backwards on one of the chairs, a huge smile on his face. His hair was a mess of unruly curls and he wore a plain white long sleeve shirt with khaki colored pants. A string of beads hanging loosely around his neck.

He looked gorgeous, Danny thought to himself as he continued to follow the brothers around to where Josh was happily chatting with his friends. Josh lit up as soon as he saw Danny and immediately stood up to throw his arms around his neck.

“Danny! It’s so good to see you! I feel like it’s been forever.” He smiled as he pulled back, but put his hands on either side of Danny’s face and looked him over. Danny gave him a small smile before dropping his arms and allowing himself to be observed.

“It’s only been a couple of months.” he replied.

“Well realistically I know that, but like I told you. I missed you.” He finally dropped his hands but kept looking into Danny’s eyes.

“I missed you too Josh. So what are you guys doing?” he asked, noticing that now the conversation around them had somewhat died down and people were starting to disperse into other rooms since Josh was no longer holding them captive in conversation.

“Well, we were having a rousing conversation about the plans for the night's events. But it would seem as though my fellow comrades have abandoned me. So we are left to our own devices.” Josh laughed and then looked over to his brothers who had placed themselves around the pool table and were mindlessly playing with the billiard balls.

“It’s still early Josh, there’s hardly any people here right now. What do you expect?” Jake rolled his eyes and tossed the ball he had been holding back onto the table and then turned to lean his back against the wood. Sam continued tossing his ball in the air and catching it as he walked back and forth along the length of the room.

“I dunno, you guys wanna smoke or something?” Josh asked, raising a brow.

Danny shrugged and the others nodded their agreement. Sam placed his ball down on the table and followed as they all went out through the french doors. Outside there was a large courtyard that was made up of a cobblestone porch with a sunken fire pit in the middle. There was a light layer of snow on the ground where it hadn’t been shoveled away completely.

“Jake you got a light?” Josh asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small rectangular cigarette case. He opened it quickly and slid out a joint. Jake nodded and reached into his own pocket and produced a black lighter.

“Nice.” He plucked the lighter from Jake’s hand and lit the joint easily. He then handed it off to Jake who took a couple hits and passed it over to Danny. Danny repeated Jake’s actions and then held it out to Sam. They all took turns rotating the joint around until it was burnt down sufficiently and then Josh snubbed it out on the bottom of his shoe and shoved the roach into his pocket. Danny giggled a little, feeling the effects of the weed entering his system. Josh caught his eye and smiled.

“Feeling good Danny?” He asked as he reached out to place his hand on Danny’s shoulder.

Danny could feel the warmth of his hand through the fabric of his button up and it nearly made him shiver. “Yeah, but it’s starting to get too cold out here. You guys want to go back inside?” He asked.

“For sure! Let’s play Mario Kart or something.” Sam suggested as they turned to go back in the doors to the room with the pool table.

“I’m totally going to kick your ass Sam!” Danny told him as he shoved his arm playfully. Sam giggled and pushed him back. Soon they had settled down and were playing a group game of Mario Kart. Jake had picked Luigi, Sam picked Yoshi, Danny picked Mario, and Josh chose Princess Peach. Danny smiled to himself about their picks and they played round after round until finally they gave up and announced Jake the winner overall. He was always the most competitive out of the group, though Josh did like to give him a run for his money and Sam was known for taking whatever route necessary to win. Even if that did involve some cheating. He always got called out on it though.

“Hey Josh! We’re going to start mixing soon if you want to help!” came the voice of a young man from the kitchen area they entered through to get to the pool room.

“Guess that’s my cue. Danny, you want to come see how it’s done?” He asked as he set the controller back on the tv stand.

“Yeah sure that sounds fun.” Danny replied and put his controller on the stand too before turning and following Josh into the kitchen.

There was a group of about five people in the kitchen, all standing around, chit chatting with each other. In the center of the room was a large island with a big plastic bin on it with a ladle off to the side. Large bottles of various alcohols were lined up on the counter top, as well as about eight large bottles of different juices and mixers. There were also a few big bags of ice in the sink and some random cut up fruits on a cutting board.

“Wow, you guys really went all out. Is all of this going in there?” Danny asked as he turned a bottle of alcohol around to read the label.

“Yup! We tried to get things that would kind of go together at least so that way it tasted decent. We’ve had some bad batches before.” Josh responded as he began cracking the lids open on the different bottles

“You guys do this often then?”

“For just about every major function, and sometimes on a smaller scale on the weekends just for fun.” Josh shrugged and turned to one of the guys who was lining the walls. “Hey Justin. I think we’re ready to pour.” Josh smiled at him and Justin returned the smile before announcing to everyone to grab a bottle.

Everyone grabbed a random bottle or jug of whatever was closest and on Josh’s count of three began pouring it into the bin. It filled up quickly and after a quick mix, the liquid turned a light rosy pink color, and smelled somewhat like strawberry.

“That’s it?’ Danny asked as he turned to throw the bottle he was holding into the trash can.

“Well, now we throw in all that fruit, and pour it over some ice and the party really starts I suppose.” Josh laughed and reached over to grab the cutting board. He slid in all the fruit and then gave the batch another stir.

“It doesn’t look all that intimidating, Jake made it sound kind of scary.” Danny said, giving Josh a slow smile.

“Looks can be deceiving darling. Did he warn you about the fruit?” Josh said as he reached for a cup and went around to fill it with ice. Danny hid the slight prickle he felt on his skin at the endearment.

“Yeah but he said only if it’s been sitting in there a while.”

“Right he is. It sucks up all the alcohol in there and gets super potent, it’ll knock you on your ass if you aren’t careful. Wouldn’t want you to get too messed up.” Josh winked at him as he began ladling the mixture into cups and handing it out to the people in the kitchen who took it and then began making their way out. Danny stayed next to Josh as he did this and they chatted about different things. Josh remained close to Danny, grazing his arm every now and then and gently grazing his back with his hand when he needed to get around him. Each touch had Danny biting the inside of his cheek. Finally they were alone in the kitchen and sipping at their drinks slowly.

“Are you doing okay Danny? You’ve been awful quiet tonight.” Josh observed.

“Yeah I’m good, just thinking you know.” Danny responded. He could feel the intensity of Josh’s undying curiosity as he looked at him.

“Thinking about what?” Josh asked, swallowing down more of the sweet drink and then leaning over the counter top with his head tilted to the side as he looked at Danny.

Danny took a deep breath and then sighed before quietly saying “You.” and looking away. He took another long drink of the alcohol in his cup before realizing it was now empty.

Josh blinked in confusion and opened his mouth “ Wha…?”

But Danny didn’t get a chance to respond because at that moment Sam came into the kitchen and began rummaging around, grabbing cups and ice and pouring his own drinks. Soon Danny found himself being tugged back outside by his arm by Sam who told him he wanted to introduce him to someone.

They stepped out onto the front patio where they had originally come into the house and there was a small group of people just outside the door. Danny could smell the weed they were smoking as they passed a pipe around. Sam dropped his arm as they entered the circle. The group all greeted him and then offered him the pipe which he took gratefully.

“Guys, this is my best friend Daniel. He came down from Frankenmuth to spend New Years with us.” Sam announced.

Danny gave them all a small wave. A small girl with long blonde hair stepped forward towards him and held out her hand. “Hey Daniel, I’m Lena. I’ve heard a lot about you from Sammy.” She smiled and Danny caught just a small glance of her bright blue eyes in the light from the porch.

“Nice to meet you Lena, please, just call me Danny. Sam is the only one who insists on calling me Daniel.” He laughed and took her hand which was soft and so much smaller than his own.

“That’s your name isn’t it?” Sam retorted, and then tried to hand the pipe to Danny which he declined. Sam shrugged and handed it to Lena instead who took it after dropping Danny’s hand.

“Well yeah but you’re the only one who calls me by my full government name Samuel.” Danny laughed. Lena smiled and took to standing next to Danny.

“So, Sammy told me that you play drums? I do too. Just started a couple years ago. My sister and I kind of have a little duo going on.” Lena captured his attention once more and he noticed her twist a lock of her hair around her index finger.

“Oh sweet. Yeah I’ve been playing a while. Sam and his brothers and I used to have this kind of band thing going on. Used to play in their garage all the time. Then they all moved up here for school so now it’s just me.”

She frowned a little at this and said “Well that sucks. Maybe you should come here too then. Join the frat? Get the band back together. I know I wouldn’t mind seeing you again.” he saw her wink at him and he stiffened suddenly realizing what was going on. His head swiveled around to Sam, who raised his eyebrow and gave him a small encouraging smile. Danny blinked and then quickly excused himself to the restroom. He opened the door to the house and walked back through the kitchen, seeing Jake and Josh as well as their friends still hanging around the island. He went directly to Jake and asked him where the bathroom was, trying but failing to completely avoid Josh’s gaze. They locked eyes for a split second before Danny tore his eyes away and headed down the hall adjacent to the kitchen that Jake told him would lead him to the bathroom.

He opened the door to the bathroom and set his cup on the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror briefly and ran a hand through his hair. He could feel the alcohol and weed already starting to mix in his body and took a deep stabilizing breath. Quickly, he relieved himself and then washed his hands. He stayed in the bathroom a little longer just enjoying the peace that came with the solitude. But his peace was broken not five minutes later when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Out in a minute!" He called to the unknown person.

“Danny, it’s me.” Came Josh’s voice from the other side of the door.

Danny sighed and grabbed his cup. He opened the door and stepped out, Josh moved out of the way so that it didn’t hit him.

“Hey man, you sure you’re doing okay?” Josh asked yet again. Looking Danny over for any sign of illness.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just needed a break and now a refill.” Danny held up his cup at him and shook it slightly.

“Okay. I just-” Josh said quietly enough that Danny didn’t quite hear him as he had already begun turning and making his way back to the kitchen to refill his drink. Josh followed him but stayed quiet and watched him fill his cup and top it off with a couple slices of orange.

“I think we’re going to start a fire and maybe play some beer pong?’ Jake said to Danny as he watched him drink from his cup a little quicker than he had been before, his brows slightly furrowed.

“Sounds good. Didn’t see any firewood though. Unless you guys have it hidden somewhere?” Danny laughed, fully engaged in his conversation with Jake.

“Nah, but we do have a dried out Christmas tree because we never watered that thing to keep it alive!” Jake laughed back and then noted his own empty cup and went to refill it.

“You’re going to set a Christmas tree on fire?” Danny asked, curiosity overtaking him as he recalled the courtyard out back and the fire pit.

“Yeah we’re going to throw some lighter fluid on it and light it up in the pit outside. Should be fun. Too bad we didn’t think about getting marshmallows though!” Jake poked Danny in the shoulder and he could tell by his demeanor that he was already feeling the effects of the alcohol, as a large smile had crawled across his face and wasn’t breaking any time soon. Danny shook his head and smiled back.

It was unusual for Josh to be as quiet as he had been since Danny revealed that he’d been thinking about him. But Danny tried to mind his own business and give Josh a wide berth as he was already somewhat embarrassed by Josh’s reaction.

But he still had a plan to stick to, and with less than an hour until midnight, he had to start making things happen. He decided now that it would be a good time to put some distance between himself and the kitchen so he filled his cup a final time and went out into the courtyard to watch as the other fraternity brothers began preparing to light the tree on fire. The tree itself was already drug out of the living area and into the pit, and was currently being doused with lighter fluid. Soon after, Jake walked out and joined him at the edge of the pit and watched as the others continued their work.

“So I take it you met Lena.” Jake said, bringing his cup to his lips once more.

“How’d you know?”

Jake laughed “ Well, when you came inside you looked like you’d seen a ghost. Plus Sammy isn’t very good at keeping things on the down low. We knew he had a plan for trying to hook you up with someone tonight. Go figure it’d be the drum playing sorority girl from his anatomy class.”

“I just can’t believe he thinks I need to be hooked up with someone. Do I really seem that desperate Jake?” Danny asked him, looking over at the other man.

“Not desperate, no. But it has been a while since we’ve seen you with someone.” Jake shook the ice around in his cup and looked up to meet Danny’s eyes. “What? Am I missing something here?" Jake's eyebrows knit together.

"I just. I like someone else, okay?” Danny sighed, it felt weird to be admitting it.

"Oh? Who? Someone from back home?” Jake asked as his curiosity was peaked.

"Kind of yeah.” He replied, sipping his drink a bit more before plucking one of the pieces of fruit from it and taking a bite.

" How could they kind of be from home? That implies that they're also kind of not from home.” Jake chuckled. Danny didn't respond because at that time Josh, Sammy and a group of others decided to join them outside. Once most of the partygoers had gathered, one of the brothers threw a match onto the tree and it lit up quickly, warming the whole area and dousing it with a yellow-orange glow.

Sam and Josh made their way over to Danny and Jake and made a little circle.

“Hey I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.” said Sammy as he made eye contact with Danny.

“Bathroom. Then got to talking with Jake. So what's the deal Sammy, why are you so interested in my love life?" Danny chuckled but his expression was serious. The twins both snapped their heads over to Danny, their eyes wide and Sammy’s jaw gaped.

“I- I just thought you might like her." Sammy said innocently.

“Like who?" Josh inquired, his voice going up an octave.

Danny took note of the change in Josh's voice and watched the brothers interaction intently.

Sam cleared his throat and looked down before quietly saying “Lena…”

"LENA?!” Josh said loudly, causing a few nearby people to give him a strange look. "Seriously?!”

Danny was confused by this sudden outburst but when he looked down he saw Josh's cup was again empty and the response began to kind of make sense.

“What's wrong with Lena? She's a nice girl!" Sam defended, looking to Jake for back up. Jake just held his hands up in a way that said “Leave me out of this."

“Nice? Sammy. You're really going to hook up your best friend with one of your flings?" Josh looked pissed, his cheeks even more red than they had been before this conversation came up.

Danny felt his heart drop and he looked from Josh to Sam. “Sam?" Danny asked, his voice sounding a little hurt. Not that he was particularly interested in the girl in the least. But the fact that his friend would just pass off one of his endeavors to him like that kind of irked him.

Sam looked guilty and began biting on his thumb nail. It only took a few seconds of all three of them staring at him before he broke. “Yes! Okay. I did sleep with her. So what?! She's still cool. Cool enough for me to introduce her to Danny! I thought they'd like each other. She was interested anyway!" He tried to defend himself but it would seem as though the damage had been done.

Danny shook his head in disappointment and Josh just glared at Sam. “ Danny deserves better than that you idiot!" Josh exclaimed, obviously still feeling the anger.

“It's fine. I wasn't interested." Danny looked away from the group and over to the fire where a few frat brothers had taken their shirts off and were running around the pit yelling.

“Yeah. Besides, you like someone else anyway, right?” Jake said hopefully. He was obviously trying to steer the conversation in a different direction but it caught Danny off guard that he just said that out loud in front of Josh. He tensed up and gave Jake a quick look as he tried not to panic.

“Yeah." He laughed it off.

“Who?!" Josh demanded, catching Danny's eyes. Danny stared back at him but said nothing.

“Don't know. He just said it was someone kind of from home." Jake shrugged.

Danny watched as Josh's expression softened some and his jaw relaxed. “Oh." Was all he said.

The group went quiet for a moment and Danny took that as his cue to finish off the rest of his drink. He'd begun feeling the effects of the liquor more around the time that Josh outed Sam's indiscretion, but he tried his best not to show that his head was slightly swimming. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jake check his phone. He noted that there was only about 5 minutes until midnight and swallowed hard. Fuck, how am I supposed to pull this off he thought to himself.

“I'm sorry Danny, I shouldn't have done that. I really didn't think it mattered." Sam spoke up out of the awkward silence.

“It's fine Sam. Just don't try to hook me up with anyone else okay?" Danny gave him a small smile and gently pushed his shoulder. Sam returned the smile and nodded in agreement.

"Are you going to tell us who this mystery girl is Danny?” Asked Josh.

"Ah… It's uhm. Yeah, it's not a girl." Danny scratched the back of his head and looked off towards the fire again as his cheeks reddened. He realized he'd never actually discussed his sexuality with them before. He never really felt the need to. He met Josh's eyes when he felt brave enough and saw the expression of calm understanding there with maybe a hint of surprise. He then looked at Sam who of course had his mouth slightly agape, and finally to Jake who had a smug smile on his lips.

“Why didn't you tell me?" Squeaked Sam.

“I didn't feel like I needed to." Danny shrugged.

“Because you don't. You didn't. You owe none of us that." Said Josh who looked back over to Sammy as if telling him to shut the hell up.

“Thanks." Danny gave Josh a small smile and looked down into his cup where he noted a few more pieces of fruit within the ice. He pulled one out and tossed it into his mouth.

"Hey everyone! We're about to start the countdown!” Yelled one of the shirtless men that had been parading around the tree. There were some cheers as everyone began to crowd closer to the fire.

Danny watched the brother's walk towards the fire and took his own place in between Josh and Sam with Jake just to the left of his twin.

The countdown began and Danny could feel his heart race as they loudly counted back from 30. With each decreasing number he felt his nerves rise, his palms to become somewhat sweaty and he had to wipe them off on his pant legs.

“Ten!"

“Nine!"

“Eight!"

“Seven!"

“Six!"

“Five!"

“Four!"

“Three!"

“Two!"

“One!"

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" Yelled the chorus of people outside on the patio as the fire burned and a few people blew on tiny party horns. Fireworks began cascading from the skies above.

Danny took a deep breath and turned towards Josh who had a wide smile on his face and was watching the various celebrants as they cheered and some kissed. Josh felt the movement and turned his head towards Danny and locked him in with those stunning sparkly eyes.

“Josh?" He asked

“Yeah?"

“It's midnight."

“Yeah I know. And?" He continued smiling but looked a little confused at the discourse.

“Can I kiss you?" Danny asked. He hoped he'd gathered enough courage to say it loud enough that Josh could hear him over the celebrations.

Josh looked a little surprised, but took next to no time at all to agree, nodding his head as he said “Yeah."

Danny reached out a hand and cupped it along Josh's jawline and pulled him in. He could feel the smaller man slightly lifting up on his toes as they pressed their lips together. Josh's lips were soft and warm and he tasted just like the fruit from the jungle juice. Danny's eyes slipped shut as he saw Josh do the same. It was a sweet, slow kiss that made everything around them fall away, including the loud celebrations. The only thing Danny could hear was the soft hum that came from Josh’s mouth as he slightly deepened the kiss. He felt Josh's arms wrap around his waist loosely and took a small breath in through his mouth. It was shaky at best but Josh was smiling as he pulled back and they both opened their eyes.

“Hi" Josh said shyly as he moved his arms from around Danny's waist to rest his hands gently on his chest.

Danny chuckled a little “Hi."

They just stared into each other's eyes for a moment while they came out of their little bubble. Danny looked up when he heard Jake's laughter. He met his eyes and Jake just let out a resounding “I knew it!".

They finally broke apart, but Josh grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together keeping them connected.

Danny knew he would have to face Sam's reaction sooner rather than later, so he turned his body back to the fire and then looked to his right to see his best friend's face. His expression was nothing short of shock.

“Danny? What the hell man?" He spat, exasperation lacing every word.

" Sam, don't be mad. Please?” Danny begged.

" Mad? I'm not mad. Confused? Hell yeah. Josh is who you like? Why didn't you tell me?” He remarked for the second time that night.

" He's your brother Sam. I didn't know how you'd react.” He replied somewhat guiltily.

" Well I'm a little shocked but like… It makes sense now. What you said, about liking someone ‘kind of’ from home."

Danny just nodded and looked back over at Josh who was staring into the fire with a content look on his face.

“Josh?" Danny asked, pulling his attention from the blaze.

“Yeah?"

“You okay?" He looked closer at Josh's face and noted how dazed he was beginning to appear. Josh's head swung over to him and he looked up at him through his lashes.

“Yeah I just think those shrooms might be kicking in.” He said nonchalantly before turning to his twin. " Can we go home now Jake? “

Danny's ears perked at the mention of the substance and he snapped his head up to Jake.

“Shrooms? He took shrooms? Josh. You took shrooms?!" Danny said in shock.

“Hey I didn't know either until just now. But yeah let's go home. I'll grab one of the DDs." Jake shrugged and turned to walk over to a group of people.

"What's wrong Danny? I'm fine.” Josh asked, though his eyes were a little distant and his speech was the tiniest bit slurred.

“You're not fine. You're drunk and you took shrooms and you didn't tell us? Josh…” Danny lightly scolded him. It wasn’t like Josh had never done shrooms before, but never in combination with weed and alcohol as far as Danny knew, and never without telling someone.

Josh squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. “Let's go home. I don't want to be around all these people when it really hits. I just want to be with you."

Danny couldn't know if Josh actually meant that or not due to his current state. He couldn't even trust his own mind at this point to tell him if he was overreacting. There were too many thoughts going through his head right now and it began to hurt. He raised his hand that wasn't currently occupied by Josh's hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Danny? You okay?" Came Sam’s voice.

“Yeah I'm fine, stupid headache. Can we go now?" Danny was getting a little agitated between everything going on and his head starting to pound, he could feel it bleeding into his words.

About that time Jake came back to the group with two other men and announced it was time to go. The brothers said their goodbyes as they walked through the throngs of people back inside and through the pool room to the kitchen and then outside onto the porch where they had come in.

Danny saw Lena as they were leaving. She looked from his face down to his fingers that were still intertwined with Josh’s and raised a brow at him. He couldn’t care less though. The only thing that mattered to him was getting Josh home and into bed safely.

𓇢𓆸

The drive back to the boys’ house was relatively short, but that didn't keep Josh from laying across Danny's lap and insisting on him playing with his hair. Which Danny of course obliged without complaint. Jake, who was sitting on the other side of Josh, just propped his elbow against the window with a small smile on his face as he watched them from the corner of his eye. Sam, who was sitting passenger next to their designated driver for the evening, was rather quiet. Danny hoped that he wasn't really more angry at him than he had led on. But he knew going into this that it was always a risk.

Finally they reached the house and Danny slowed his methodical stroking of Josh's hair only for the boy's eyes to pop open quickly and look up at him. There was only a small amount of dim lighting filtering in through the window from the street light, but despite this, Danny could still see the glossy and dazed expression on Josh's face as he gazed into his eyes.

“What Josh?" Danny asked.

"You're pretty." Josh sighed and continued to lay still in his lap before Jake rolled his eyes and grabbed his arms to pull him into a sitting position with a huff.

Danny's cheeks flushed pink at the compliment and he tried to hide the small smile on his lips. Jake threw open the door and hauled Josh out with him, an arm wrapped securely around his waist. Danny hurried and threw his seatbelt off, thanking the driver as he got out of the car to lightly jog around to the curb to meet Jake, who was struggling to keep Josh on his feet. Danny quickly went around the other side and hoisted Josh's arm around his shoulder and put his own arm below Jake's, around Josh's waist.

Sam too had gotten out of the car and upon observing them struggling with Josh, scoffed loudly and cut through the grass, going in front of them to unlock the door. He did so and then held it open for them to drag Josh through and set him down on the beat up couch. Josh very quickly laid down on his side on the couch and closed his eyes, though he could still be heard humming some random song that Danny couldn't really make out.

“Okay well, he probably needs to eat something. You know, soak up all that bullshit he downed. Seriously Josh what the fuck got into you tonight?" Sam had his arms crossed over his chest as he regarded his brother with a pinched expression.

Josh fluttered his eyes open and made eye contact with Sam before he lifted a single hand and flipped him off.

“That's nice. Fuck you too dude." Sam threw up his hands and turned to head into the kitchen.

Jake shook his head and looked at a very clearly uncomfortable Danny.

“Hey. It's okay. I'm gonna go make sure he's not poisoning the food and then we're all gonna come back in here and eat okay? Then maybe showers if you want and bed." Jake was very calm as he spoke to him, almost as if he was a frightened animal that Jake was trying very hard to soothe.

Danny nodded and looked down at his feet. The residual effects of the booze and weed together were creating a noxious mixture in his stomach and he knew that, added with the anxiety of whatever this was with Josh, this thing with Sam was only going to worsen the impact on his stomach.

Jake’s eyebrows furrowed quickly as he looked over Danny’s troubled face which he noticed was beginning to twinge green.

“Oh fuck. Okay, come on. Come with me. Right now." Jake grabbed him by the bicep and hauled him down the hallway to the end where the bathroom was and pushed him in haphazardly before shoving him to the floor in front of the toilet.

It really was just in the nick of time as Danny barely had time to lift the lid before he was expelling the contents of his stomach into the still water of the bowl.

He heard Jake sigh and then Josh yelling down the hall “Where's Danny? Is he okay? What's that sound?!”

He couldn't say a single word before another onslaught of vomit was making its way out and he heard the sound of quick steps hitting against the wood floors. “Jake, fucking move." Came Sam's voice. There was a brief shuffle and then he felt warm palms stroking the hair back from his face and into a makeshift ponytail at the nape of his neck. The distinct clicking sound of Jake's heeled boots retreating down the hall was all Danny could hear before Sam kicked the door shut.

It was silent for a while as Danny regained his bearings and focused on whether or not he was going to throw up again. After a few minutes the nausea resolved and he reached a hand up to flush the toilet. Sam released his hair from his hold and went to the sink and pulled out a washcloth from the cabinet underneath. He ran cool water over it before squeezing it to a light dampness and then forced it to Danny's mouth and made him hold it there.

Danny sighed and sat back against the bathtub to his left and looked up at Sam who leaned against the door with his arms crossed. He looked thoroughly unimpressed and all Danny could think to do was pull his knees up to his chest and apologize.

“Sam…I'm so sorry. I-”

"Oh shut up with that would you. Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Yeah, sure, maybe I'm a little pissed that you've been pining after my brother for who knows how long and you didn't think it was worth telling me before sucking his face off in front of me. But I don't hate you for it. God, what kind of monster do you think I am?” Sam rolled his eyes and dropped his arms from his chest and came to sit on the edge of the tub next to Danny.

“I don't think you're a monster. I could never think that. I guess I just… I don't know. I should have told you. I was just scared.” Danny sighed and put his forehead down on his knees.

“Oh come on Daniel. It's okay. I'm okay, I'm not mad and I mean… It looks like things went okay with Josh? I mean he let you kiss him and he kissed you back and now he won't shut up about you.” He tried his best to sound optimistic.

" Yeah. But he's drunk..and stuff… I.. I don't know how much of this I can actually trust. But really I had no idea how much he drank and I didn't know about the shrooms and I-” he cut off with a choked whimper and Sam's eyes softened into a sympathetic expression.

" Dan…Hey. We know. Hell if you want to really be honest you weren't exactly sober yourself. Please don't beat yourself up thinking you forced this on him. You guys just need to talk okay? Get it all out in the open, and if you decide you want to be together, I promise I won't be a dick about it." Sam tried to comfort him with a hand to his back, rubbing small circles over his shirt.

Danny sat quiet and contemplative for a while before taking a deep breath and nodding.

"You're right. I'll talk to him. Tomorrow though. He's gone right now I think.” Danny lifted his head and looked at the closed bathroom door. He could hear random sounds from beyond it but didn't know what they could possibly be. Sam just hummed as he continued to rub Danny's back.

"That sounds good. Hey why don't I bring you your bag and you can shower and stuff. I threw a frozen pizza in the oven, it should be ready when you get out.” Sam suggested with a small smile.

"That would be great. Thank you Sammy.” Danny slowly got up from his position on the floor and stood in front of the sink and looked at himself. He was a bit pale and his hair was disheveled but otherwise he was intact.

“Yeah of course. What are friends for?" Sam stood and nudged him with his shoulder and Danny moved out of the way so he could get to the door. But before he could get a hand on the knob he reached for Sam's arm and gently pulled him into a hug. Sam was slightly startled for a minute but quickly rebounded and hugged him back.

“I don't tell you this enough Sam. But I love you. A lot." Danny said quietly as he gently squeezed Sam's body against his own.

“Oh you big sap. I love you too. Now let me go. I have pizza and a brother to check on.” He giggled and pushed off of Danny's chest and turned back to the door and made his way out of the bathroom.

𓇢𓆸 After his shower Danny felt about ten times better and was ready to face whatever was waiting for him on the other side of the bathroom door. He slipped on a loose T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants and brushed his teeth. He realized that he was probably going to be eating pizza and defeating the purpose of brushing his teeth entirely. But he figured it was better than his mouth continually tasting like vomit.

He threw his old clothes back in his bag and cleaned up after himself before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. He was hit with a wave of apprehension as he stepped carefully down the hall but as he rounded the corner he stumbled upon a sight he wasn't expecting.

The couch had been pulled out completely and turned into a bed that had threadbare sheets stretched over the somewhat thin coil mattress and a couple of thick comforters thrown on top. Pillows were piled up near the headboard and in the center of the mattress sat a shirtless Josh who was curiously looking up at the ceiling fan and observing the lightbulbs.

Sounds of shuffling from the kitchen identified the location of Sam and Jake. Danny carefully sat his bag down on the floor at the end of the sofa bed and sat on the edge with his back to Josh. The movement of the mattress got Josh's attention and soon came his voice in a quiet whisper;

“Hey…Hey Danny. Look at this.”

Danny turned slightly and looked over his shoulder at Josh, who had a wide, dopey grin on his face as he locked eyes with him. Josh then reached his hand up again towards the lightbulb. His fingers not even getting near the surface but his hand still being lit up all the same.

“It's like I'm ET or something" Josh giggled and wiggled his fingers around in the light.

“Right." Danny confirmed, slightly confused but assuming this had something to do with the trip.

As he watched his friend continue to play in the light, Jake and Sam entered the room carrying paper plates of pizza. Sam shoved one into Danny's hands and came to sit next to him. Jake handed another to Josh after shifting his attention from the light.

“Eat Josh. You need to. You also need to drink some water then you can go to bed okay?" Jake used that same voice on Josh that he had used on Danny before Danny succumbed to his weak stomach.

“I don't want to go to bed. It's not safe." Josh said simply, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a large bite out of it.

“Josh, it's perfectly safe, what are you talking about?" Jake pressed, eating despite his brother being cryptic.

“No. Not for Danny it isn't. But it will be. I'll fix it. Watch." Josh grabbed the piece of pizza he took a bite out of and set his plate down on the mattress. He quickly shifted up off the bed and took off towards the kitchen. Jake sighed and followed him grumpily.

“What's he doing?" Danny asked, picking up his own slice of pizza and taking a bite out of it.

“Who knows. Making it ‘safe’ whatever that means." Sam shrugged and dug into his food.

Minutes later Josh came back into the living room only to abruptly turn and head down the hallway with Jake hot on his heels. They couldn't see what he was doing but they could hear the doors opening and what sounded like windows shutting and locking into place. This carried on through each of the rooms before Josh was back in the living room, reaching over to secure the windows and double check the front door’s lock. He slid the deadbolt into place and even latched the door chain before turning back around with a smile and plopping himself back down on the sofa bed. He grabbed his second piece of pizza and began munching on it happily.

By this time Danny and Sam were done eating and Sam grabbed their plates to toss in the trash.

“So is it safe now?" Sam giggled as he bumped his shoulder against Jake's who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen now and looking very tired.

“I freaking hope so. He locked everything up like it's Fort Knox. Ridiculous." Jake grumbled. Sam laughed again and Danny gave a small smile.

“Okay I'm going to bed now. He should pass out soon if you want to try and wrangle him into his room.” Jake stated, snatching his discarded plate and Josh's empty one off the bed and tossing them before heading to his room.

Josh groaned and threw himself back on the pillows. " Nooo. I wanna stay here with Danny.” He whined.

Sam laughed out loud and put a hand on Danny's shoulder. " Are you okay with that? I can help you take him to his room if not. He’ll go I promise. He's just being an ass.”

"Am not. Someone has to make sure he's safe Samuel.” Josh said, the glare in his eyes evident on his face.

"Oh shut up will you? He's safe without you encroaching on his space.” Sam argued.

“It's fine Sam, honestly. I'm not worried about it. We're all just going to sleep okay?" Danny explained, turning the question towards Josh who nodded eagerly.

“Yes. Sleep. We're going to sleep. " Josh confirmed as he reached for one of the thick comforters and pulled it over himself.

“Alright, fine. But don't make me come out here. Because I will." He glared down at Josh and then let his hand drop from Danny's shoulder. He then turned and walked towards his room.

“Oh thank God they're finally gone. They were driving me crazy." Josh sighed before continuing. “Hey, turn that light off then come lay down. It's really late."

Danny nodded and stood up silently, clicking the light off and then coming around the opposite side of the bed. Josh fished a remote out from the sheets and clicked the old TV on and flipped the channel to some infomercials. Danny chuckled a little and sat down in the bed, a good distance from where Josh was reclining.

“Mindless TV helps me sleep. Besides, you never know when you might need some of this crap." Josh smiled and set the remote on the floor before snuggling down into his blanket. Danny watched him carefully, unsure of what to really do in this moment but realizing Josh was still wearing those khakis despite his shirtless status.

“Yeah.. Uhm. Do you want me to get you some pajamas or something?” Danny asked shyly. Trying to be casual about the situation.

"Oh! Right. Nah it's fine I'll just kick these off and sleep in my boxers. If… if uh..that's okay with you.” Josh was slowly morphing back into his baseline personality and some of the shyness was beginning to show through.

Danny looked over at Josh and saw the slight rosy twinge to his nose and cheeks, with his bottom lip tucked under his front teeth.

Danny realized a moment too late that he was staring and quickly cleared his throat and nodded before looking away. " Ye- Yeah. Yes. That's fine Josh. However you're comfortable.”

Josh released the hold on his lip and quickly brought his hands under the blanket and popped the button on his pants before sliding the zipper down and pushing them off his hips. He shimmied and kicked them the rest of the way off his legs and pushed them off the edge of the bed onto the floor.

“Better?" Danny asked, looking back over to Josh to see that he had rolled over onto his side, facing him with his head propped up on his arm.

“Much. Hey, you can move closer and lay down. I promise I won't bite.” He smirked a little at his own joke.

Danny said nothing in return but did as he said and moved closer to him and laid down on his back, looking up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

" Danny?” Josh asked quietly, almost so quiet Danny couldn't hear it.

" Yeah?” Danny responded, still looking up at the ceiling.

" Could I uh…. Can I cuddle you?" He asked, his voice wavering a bit.

“You want to?" Danny asked, a little taken back by the question but he couldn't ignore the way his heart rate sped up at the thought as he stole a quick glance at Josh.

“ Yeah. If you're okay with it. I just want to be close to you." Josh explained and Danny nodded.

“Yeah Josh. You can cuddle me." Danny agreed. Not sure exactly how the smaller man was going to accomplish this, but desiring the closeness as well.

“Turn over" Josh instructed as he scooted more towards the center of the bed.

Danny swallowed down the twinge of nerves and rolled over on his side, facing away from Josh, but then also moving more towards the center. He could feel Josh moving even closer until his body was pressed right up against Danny's back. The size difference was a little odd, but as Josh gently eased his arm around Danny's waist he found that he didn't much care how odd it might look to anyone else. Josh's hand turned over and came to rest gently against Danny's sternum. He gave a small squeeze before relaxing down into the pillows completely.

“Is this okay?" Josh asked as he settled. Danny released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and nodded.

“Yeah." He said simply, finally allowing himself to take in the feeling of Josh's body pressed against his own. He could feel the heat of Josh's skin radiating through his pajamas. “You're so warm." He said quietly.

“Oh I'm sorry. Is it too much? I can-" Josh went to pull his hand away and move off of Danny but Danny's hand quickly shot up and held his hand in place against his chest firmly, tangling their fingers together.

“No. Don't go. It's nice. " He didn't mean for it to sound so desperate. But he didn't want Josh to move away from him. It's not like they'd never cuddled before in the years they'd been friends. But it had never been like this and Danny wanted to soak up every moment he could.

Josh didn't respond verbally, but he did resume his comfortable position beside Danny.

Danny did eventually close his eyes as Josh began humming the same song from before that he couldn't place. But now, in the quiet stillness of the night he recognized it. Three Little Birds. He smiled to himself and listened to Josh's pretty voice as he began to sing some of the lyrics before cutting himself off and whispering so quietly that Danny could barely hear it.

“You're safe Danny, I'm here. I made sure you're safe. I've got you."

𓇢𓆸

The sun was shining warmly through the windows above the sofa bed and casting yellowed light across the living room when Danny began to stir from his sleep. The first thing he could hear was the sound of some kids' tv show playing on the television. The small voice singing about being neighbors. The second thing he could hear once he came to a bit more was soft snoring from behind him. Which is also when the realization hit him that he was not alone. He did not go to sleep here last night by himself.

Josh.

His eyes popped open and he looked around somewhat startled and was ready to jump out of the bed completely. Then he took note of the arm still wrapped around him and the weight of Josh's head on his back and froze where he lay. He took a couple deep steadying breaths to calm the panic as the memories from last night came washing over him.

He kissed Josh.

Josh kissed him back.

Fuck.

Fuck fuckity fuck.

Okay calm down. Calm down Danny. He told himself in an attempt to not send himself into a spiral. But the change in the rhythm of his breathing must have alerted Josh to his consciousness because he felt him nuzzle against his back and his fingers flex against his stomach where his hand now lay, and the gentle snores ceased.

“Mmmm… Good morning.” Came Josh's gravely morning voice, which sounded more like Jake's normal speaking voice and did interesting things to Danny's brain.

“G-Good morning.” Danny stuttered out.

Josh rolled over onto his back and stretched his arms up above his head with a loud yawn.

“Did you sleep okay?" He asked.

Danny turned over and laid on his back as well, but turned his head to the side to look over Josh, who's hair was a tangled mess of curls and his cheeks were flush with the red twinge of a hangover.

"Yeah. Did you?” Danny replied.

Josh nodded in response, and then pulled himself up into a sitting position.

" Hey, uh.. Do you maybe want to get breakfast?” He asked, looking down at Danny, a somewhat shy expression on his face.

"Yeah of course. Do you want me to wake the others so we can go together?" Danny asked, also pulling himself up into a sitting position next to Josh.

“Oh. Uhm.. Nah. Let them sleep.” Josh tried to sound casual but Danny picked up on an underlying tone that made his stomach clench.

"Okay.” Danny nodded and watched as Josh got up from the bed and headed towards his own room, presumably to change clothes. Danny sat there for a moment trying to gather his senses and looked up at the television where the cartoon was still playing with a small animated tiger in a red jacket hopping across the screen happily.

After a moment of contemplation he got himself up off the bed and grabbed his bag before heading to the bathroom to change.

𓇢𓆸

After they'd both changed they climbed into Josh's small white car, Josh pulled out of the driveway and set off down the road. He didn't say where exactly they were headed. Actually he didn't say much at all. Which put Danny on edge even more than he already was since this was very abnormal for him. If he had to describe Josh’s overall demeanor he would say it was solemn. His expression was near blank, a stark contrast to the normally goofy smile he wore. Danny swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands.

The drive remained quiet until they pulled into what looked like some form of Mexican fast food restaurant. They pulled around through the drive through and came to a stop behind two other cars. Finally, Josh turned to Danny with a very soft smile.

“Do you trust me?" He asked.

“Yeah, absolutely." Danny replied, looking up to meet Josh's eyes for what felt like the first time in hours, but what in reality, had only been about twenty minutes.

“Alright. I'm gonna order you what Jake gets. I think you'll like it." He turned his face back to the front of the car and proceeded through the line. A few minutes later he was at the speaker box and ordered three black bean tacos, and three steak tacos with salsa on the side. Danny smiled to himself thinking about eating regular tacos for breakfast but when he looked at the clock on the dash he realized it was actually eleven in the morning. He also took this opportunity to observe the weather in more detail, and saw the fog outside swirling around the car as bits of sleet fell through the air. It was a chilly morning, saved only by the heat coming from the cabin of the car. Danny found himself wondering if they were going to drive back to the house to eat. But after Josh had paid, and pulled off onto the road, he found that they were traveling the opposite direction from where they'd come. He chose to stay silent and not question it. Somewhat glad for the quiet calm, even though he could sense the impending doom.

He silently contemplated the conversation that was bound to happen. Which way was this going to go? He didn't want to risk angering his anxious stomach again so he forced any negative thoughts from his mind and stared out the window while Josh drove.

It was about fifteen minutes later that he found Josh pulling into the gravel area of a park. There were a few covered wooden picnic tables, and a large playground, though there were no children in sight given the weather. Josh pulled into a spot and shifted the car into park. He sat still for a moment, quietly observing the park itself before grabbing the bag with the food inside and pulling out a taco for each of them.

“I'd say we could eat in the park. But it's a little chilly out and I don't really want to eat a cold taco." Josh giggled, handing a taco to Danny and a small cup of salsa.

“That's okay. This is fine. Nice actually. Peaceful. Do you come here a lot?" Danny asked as he opened his food and applied some of the salsa to it.

Josh shrugged and opened his own taco, copying Danny's actions before responding. “Yeah, sometimes. Most of the time I just come here when I need to catch a break, or if I just need to think."

“Oh." was all Danny could think to say. The energy in the car shifted and the nervousness was palpable as they both turned their attention towards eating.

They ate in silence until their first taco was gone and the wrapping was balled up and tossed back in the bag. After a few more moments of tense silence, Danny couldn't take it anymore. He needed to say something. Anything.

“Josh, I-"

“Danny-"

They spoke over each other accidentally and quickly shut their mouths to let the other speak. Silence filled the air again and Danny let out a frustrated sigh, looking down at his hands.

“Danny, did you know that the ancient Greeks recognized many different types of love? Eight really. But most people, if they do know about it, only know about three of them.” Josh said carefully. Danny could feel that Josh was looking at him, regarding his resigned stature.

Danny's eyebrows furrowed as he looked up from his hands and turned to meet Josh's eyes. Love? What is he trying to say? He thought to himself before blinking away the confusion on his face and responding. “No. I uh.. I didn't know that. What are they?”

Josh took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before continuing. " I won't bore you with all eight of them. But the main three are Eros, Agape, and… Philia.” He paused, looking for some sense of understanding from Danny.

“Okay…What do they mean?” Danny was following the conversation easily. But he wasn't really sure where exactly Josh was going with this.

"Well Eros, as you could probably guess if you know anything about the Greek gods, is romantic love. Sexual, intimate love. The kind most of us would associate with the word love.” he explained.

Danny nodded his understanding and encouraged him to continue.

“Agape, is true unconditional love. It's like the idea of the kind of love that a God might give to a person, and a person for a God. Does that make sense?”

"Yeah, I get it. And…the third one?" Danny swallowed thickly after he asked. He didn't know why but he was a little nervous about finding out what this one was because he had a feeling Josh saved it for last for a reason.

“Right, Philia. Philia is the love between friends, between equals.” He said it gently but the intent was there and Danny immediately picked up on what it was that Josh was subtly telling him.

“Oh. I see." Danny said in a choked voice, letting his gaze drop from Josh’s and return to his own hands as he twisted them against each other as the lump in his throat grew.

He willed himself to force back the tears that were stinging in his eyes. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. Josh stayed quiet as he let Danny have a moment to let it sink in before barraging him with more words.

When Danny finally felt like he'd gotten a handle on his emotions he let out a small sigh and turned back to look at Josh who wore an expression of worry mixed with guilt.

“Danny, I'm sorry." Josh said, biting the skin on the inside of his lip.

“Sorry? For what?" Danny was a little stunned that he was apologizing to him.

“I- I just… I don't want you to think I don't like you, and I don't want you to think I wasn't in control of myself last night, and I really really don't want you to think that you have absolutely anything to feel bad about. But…” The floodgates had opened now and Josh's normal manner of speach had broken through the near formal way he had explained the types of love.

“But?" Danny asked, curious as to what Josh was going to say next.

" I… I can't." Josh faltered and looked dejected.

“Can't? Josh if this is about Sam… We talked and he-”

“It's not about Sam. Honestly I could not possibly care less about what Sam thinks. No Danny. This is about me. I can't be what you probably want me to be. Not right now." He explained.

" I don't understand.”

" Danny, I know you. You're a good guy. The best really. You're so sweet and so kind. The partners you've had.. they stuck. You're happy to commit to the one you love, and so am I. Usually. But.. god this is going to make me sound so fucking awful. But I have to just be honest.” He let out a sigh and waited for Danny to look up at him again. Which he did, and his watery expression made Josh falter.

“Okay. Go ahead. I'm listening."

“ I'm just getting started in college. In the fraternity. Hell, in life. I don't know exactly what it is I want right now. I can hardly decide what I want for breakfast most days… But what I do know, is that despite all of that, the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. And I know it's kind of a moot point, being that what I'm doing now is already hurting you. Don't think I can't feel it.” Josh took another deep breath before continuing " But Danny, if I were to ignore all of that, throw caution to the wind, and jump into this with you with both feet… I can't promise I wouldn't fuck it up. I'm not old enough, or wise enough to give you what you really deserve from me. If I do this despite knowing that.. it would destroy everything. It would change everything. Our friendship, your friendship with Jake, with Sam? I can't do that to you. To them.” He was breathless and distressed when he finally finished and reached forward to take Danny's hand in his own. “Do you understand?"

Danny couldn't speak. He let his eyes drift back down to Josh's hand in his and just stared blankly at them. He couldn't quite process all the information that Josh had dumped in his lap. He knew he was glad for the honesty, and for how gentle Josh was being to try and spare him some of the emotional damage. But the sting of disappointment lingered and his heart hurt.

After a considerable length of silence, Danny finally cleared his throat. “I think I get it. I guess I just wonder why…” he let his voice trail off a bit as he continued to observe all the intricate details of Josh's hand.

" Why was I so receptive? Why did I kiss you back, flirt with you, cuddle you?”

Danny nodded and chanced a look up at him. He wore a sad smile as their eyes met and he opened his mouth to answer. “Well, I guess I should admit that it was selfish on my end. A bit of my self control and logical thinking went out the window. I knew where my heart and mind was, but I also knew my underlying feelings for you. And you just looked so good and it felt good to be with you. I guess I just let myself indulge a little in that fantasy of being with you without any real regard to your own feelings… and I'm sorry Danny. I am. Truly.”

Danny let the apology sink in along with the revelation that Josh just uncovered. He wasn't going to tell him that he didn't need to apologize and he wasn't going to say it was okay. Because he did feel slightly led on, and it seemed like Josh knew that, and it wasn't okay. So he sat there for a moment before he got the courage to remove his hand from Josh's grip. He wasn't angry. Honestly the torrent of mixed emotions was so overwhelming he didn't know exactly how he felt. But he wasn't mad. He let out a heavy breath and looked up into those normally sparkly eyes that were now rimmed with red.

“I understand, and I accept your apology. If you uhm.. if you don't have anything else you'd like to say to me. I think I would like to go home now." Danny swallowed back his tears again. Forcing himself to stay steady.

“Danny-"

“Please?"

Josh nodded and situated himself back in his seat, and put the car in reverse to back out of his spot and then drove back towards the road.

𓇢𓆸

The ride back to the house was dead silent and no words were shared between them as they arrived and got out of the car to head inside.

When they stepped into the house it was just as they'd left it this morning. Blankets strewn on the pull out bed, Josh's pants on the floor and children's cartoons on the TV. The only difference was that Jake and Sam were now sitting on the bed bickering back and forth about the TV and fighting over the remote. Though they abruptly stopped when Josh and Danny entered the room. Jake immediately eyed the brown paper bag in Danny's hands and shot up to investigate. “Ooh! Did you bring tacos?" He said excitedly as he made grabby hands for the bag.

“Yeah. There's a couple steak tacos in there just for you big boy." Danny weakly joked. Jake took the bag and scampered off to the kitchen. But when Sam caught sight of them the first thing he noticed was how pale his friend looked and how distant his eyes seemed. Then when he spoke he didn't miss the crack in Danny’s voice. His eyes then snapped to his brother who looked immensely guilty, with his red irritated eyes aimed at the floor, heavy shoulders and his hands tucked into the front pockets of his pants.

Sam shot to his feet and addressed his brother.

“What did you do?!" He accused loudly and angrily.

Danny didn't know it was possible for the already small man to shrink even more into himself, but that's precisely what Josh did under his younger brother's judgemental gaze.

Jake heard Sam’s raised voice, which was very uncharacteristic of him and came back into the living room, taco in hand and a confused expression on his face. He looked at Sam and then over to Josh and Danny, actually taking in their appearances this time. As the realization hit him all he could say was “Oh no."

“Sammy please. Could we not? I don't want to do this. Just leave him alone, okay?" Danny begged. Sure he was hurt and upset, but he respected Josh and his feelings enough that he knew he had a right to have them.

Sam was very obviously angry at his brother despite not knowing exactly what happened, and he wasn't just going to drop it that easily.

“Danny, either he tells me what happened or you do. Someone clue me in here because you both look like your grandma just died." Sam had that demanding tone in his voice still and it made Danny cringe.

“Fine. Sam, can I talk to you? Alone?” Danny could feel the frustration rising in his voice as he stepped forward and grabbed his friend's wrist before heading down the hall to Sam’s room and entering, slamming the door shut behind them. He dropped Sam's wrist and took a seat on the bed, his head dropping into his hands as he struggled to contain all the emotions currently wreaking havoc on his mind and body.

“Spill it." Said Sam, standing in front of him, arms crossed over his chest.

“God. Fuck Sam. Give me a second okay?" Danny tried to breathe deeply and slowly but he could feel his chest getting tight with panic. He brought his hands up over his chest and closed his eyes as he struggled to slow his breaths.

Sam caught on to his imminent panic attack and quickly came to his side and wrapped his arms around his friend and put his head on his shoulder as he to gently rock him.

“Hey, it's okay. I'm here, you're okay I promise. Breathe. Like this okay? In for four, hold for four and then out for four. Follow me.” Sam had dropped the anger from his voice completely and was now speaking so softly to him as he started coaching him through the breathing technique. Danny didn't know how many repetitions it took of the cycle before he felt calm enough to stop and the tightness in his chest alleviated. But it did and he finally looked up at Sam and met him eye to eye.

“He uh… Well I guess it's not that he doesn't feel the same exactly. He just explained that he loves me like a friend, as an equal. And that he's just getting started in life and doesn't think he could do our relationship justice if he was to jump into it with me. He thinks I deserve better than that.” Danny explained. Trying to summarize the entirety of their conversation without giving an exact play by play.

“Oh. I see." Sam said quietly, slowly releasing Danny from his hold as he gave him his best sympathetic expression. He paused for a beat before continuing. “He's right though. You do deserve better than that."

" You both say that, but I guess my head is still so wrapped up in trying to be his that I can't even fathom falling for someone new.” Danny sighed and looked off to the wall that was covered in old 70s style concert posters and Polaroids.

“I get that. So I guess this has been with you a while then?" He asked, trying to keep his tone level so he didn't stress Danny out more.

“You could say that, yeah." He confirmed as he continued to take in the messy room with the clothes strewn across the floor and the light from the lamp drenching the room in a warm glow.

“I'm sorry it ended this way Danny. I understand if this changes things for us and you don't really want to be around us anymore. I won't like it. But I get it. So will Jake." He could hear the lump in Sam's throat as he spoke and quickly turned his head to meet his eyes again.

“That's definitely not what I want. I love you guys. A lot. You're the best friends I have. Sure it might be a little difficult with Josh for a while. But it's not like I hate him now. It's just…complicated.” He explained and Sam's face lifted into a small smile as he took Danny's hand into his own and gave it a small squeeze.

"I'm so glad to hear that. I don't really know what I'd do without you. Things might be weird with Josh for a while but I'm sure if you guys want to keep your friendship despite this, you can. You can navigate this together.” Sam was trying his hardest to be optimistic but he knew that they were both going to need time.

“I think for now I just really need to go home.” He admitted, letting his eyes fall from Sam's to observe their hands together.

"Yeah I probably wouldn't want to stay another night after that either. Are you going to be okay? At least until you get home?”

"Yeah Sam. I think so. I'll call you if I pull over or anything but it's not really that long of a drive. It'll be okay. I'll text you when I get home okay?”

Sam nodded and gave his hand another gentle squeeze before letting go so Danny could stand up. He then also stood up and followed Danny as he let himself out of the room and went into the living room to grab his bag.

When he entered the room he noticed that Josh was gone and Jake was sitting on the sofa bed biting at his cuticles. When he noticed them enter the room he stood up and came over to Danny, silently wrapping him in a hug. Danny bit his bottom lip as he hugged Jake back for a few moments and then broke away. He looked into the man's eyes and could see through his attempt at hiding the sadness behind them.

“You're leaving?" He asked quietly, observing the bag slung over Danny's shoulder.

“Yeah. I.. I need to go home." Danny replied, swallowing thickly.

“I understand. I'm so sorry Danny. Really I-"

“Please Jake. Don't apologize. I'll be alright. We’ll all be alright. Just do me a favor?" He cut Jake off quickly, not wanting to hear any more apologies today.

“Yeah of course. Anything."

“Take care of him? Please?" Danny asked, a little desperation seeping into his words.

"Always." Jake promised him.

He gave him a small smile before heading out the door into the cold air of the afternoon, the two boys following behind him as he threw his bag in the back seat of the car. He gave them each a tight hug and then climbed into the driver's seat and turned on the engine.

Jake and Sam stood in front of the car as he went to shift gears and back out of the driveway slowly. He was about to pull out onto the street when he saw the door of the house swing open and Josh, clad in a pair of loose pajamas with a blanket over his shoulders, ran barefoot over to stand next to Jake. Danny pressed on the brakes and stilled the car at the end of the driveway as their eyes met.

They just stared at each other for a moment before Josh raised a blanketed hand and gave a small wave.

Danny returned the wave and didn't miss when Josh took that same blanketed hand and ran it over his eyes quickly. Danny's heart clenched a little, but he forced away the feeling and finished backing out of the driveway and pulled into the road and began to drive away.

𓇢𓆸

The drive was near silent as Danny made his way home. He didn't feel like listening to music, so the only sound that filled the cabin of the car came from the road itself. He let his mind unpack today and yesterday completely, but he maintained control of his emotions.

Once he got home he went directly to his room and threw the bag on the floor next to the door before tossing himself face down onto his pillow.

He took one singular successful deep breath before attempting another, only to be cut off by his own choked sob.

There, in the quiet stillness of his apartment he finally gave up on holding back his emotions and let his heart break completely.

𓇢𓆸

#greta van fleet #danny wagner #josh kiszka #danny wagner x josh kiszka #gvf fic #gvf fanfiction

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beheworthy · 10 months

Text

The past few days I've been very down with this fandom. So, I thought I'd do something to lift my spirits and talk about the wonderful people I've found through it. I want to let you guys know that I see and appreciate you and my sadness toward fandom negativity absolutely doesn't include you. In fact, you guys offset it by being awesome.

While I do love my Cobra Kai people, Extraction people, and the Ted Lasso Intellectuals, this is about my primary fandom, the Thor Appreciation Society. And is in the order I've found them:

Rachel (@notallthosewho-wanderarelost ) is my love. We started as fandom friends and have since become real-life friends and text and share everything about our lives with each other. I mean, she got WhatsApp just to talk to me! If Jane was real, she'd be Rach.

@fostertheory is a Thor fandom legend and the wise sage Master Yoda of our little Thor Appreciation Society. They have read every single Thor comic since its inception (they deserve an award just for that!). I'm always in their walls screaming about things and their calm expertise and knowledge keeps me grounded.

Molly (@the-irish-mayhem ) is a wonderful friend with whom I share a lot of similar thoughts and opinions. Her characterization of Thor is canon for me and I aspire to write him as good as she does. Her fics have kept me alive!

@coolnerdyrn and @rebelmeg are respected members of our Thor Appreciation Society. They've been here since the beginning. I'm always floored by how kind and humble they are.

@bensolothelastskywalker @itsjustme-itsmylife @iwillneverletgoipromise and @cinderellasfella have - no joke - liked and reblogged every single gifset I have created since I started in 2017. I can't stress enough how much it means to me as a content creator that they’ve constantly supported me. I will hunt you guys down and hug you so hard.

@hotdagas , @demigodofhoolemere and @foreveracharmedone appear in my notes often. And I appreciate you.

@youflickedtooharddamnit , @spatialelementalworld , @amanda-trashpanda3000 and @nathog97 don't tag their posts so they're very easy to miss in the lumped-up lists of reblogs in the activity page but I see ya guys!

Nat (@the-mjolnir-owner ) and @hemstolemyheart were there in the beginning, then disappeared for a long time, and are now back. I was so scared to talk to Nat but she turned out to be so wonderful, sweet, kind, and considerate. And @hemstolemyheart's story about meeting Chris is ingrained in my brain. She's also super super sweet.

@m1ghtythor is the actual Goddess of Thunder and I love her so much. She's so special and passionate and I want to keep her protected from everyone.

I'm in awe of @uniiiquehecrt 's knowledge about storytelling and her understanding of Thor's character and story. Where have you been all my life? Her art is gorgeous as well.

I admire @karioke13 's enthusiasm. They're very appreciative and kind to me.

This is based on my chaotic activity page so if I miss anyone, sincere apologies. Let me know and I'll add you guys as well. :) People who interact through anons are also very appreciated.❤️

#personal #text #thor #thor odinson #jane foster #thor appreciation society #fandom love

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pinkertinn · 2 days

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hi im actually obsessed with don't leave baby eagle on read

would you ever write soemthing like that (like Ashley teasing him dynamic) where theyre messing around under a tablecloth somewhere? like handjob w gentle teasing and maybe praise?

Anon!!! Anon, say less. Teasing Leon? In a public place? Under a tablecloth? Maybe praise?

Quick get this off my table right now. I'm obsessed. Also, big thanks for reading my work. Makes my day!

Title: Fashionably Late, But Always on Time

Summary: Leon arrives late to a formal dinner, only to be teased mercilessly by Ashley under the table as they try to keep up appearances.

Tags: Flirty Banter, Public Teasing, Hidden Desires, Light Dom/Sub Dynamics, Humorous Embarrassment, Power Play, Slow Burn Tension

WordCount: 3,500

Rating: 18+ MDNI

story under the cut.

She sat at the long table, the clink of silverware and the low hum of conversation surrounding her like a fog. The evening was supposed to be dignified—impressive, even—but all she felt was the slow burn of frustration creeping up her spine. It wasn't the people or the event itself; it was the fact that he wasn't there yet, and she'd been left to fend for herself against a wall of polite small talk. Her phone buzzed in her lap for the hundredth time that night.

On my way, I swear.

She bit her lip, hiding her smirk behind a sip of wine. You’re late, she shot back quickly, her thumb tapping out the message under the table.

A few seconds later: Traffic. You'll survive. What’s the damage?

Her eyes darted up to catch someone talking animatedly about diplomatic relations. She hadn’t been paying attention for a good twenty minutes now, but she nodded anyway, pretending to care. Her thumb hovered over the screen. You’re paying for this. Big time.

The response came almost immediately: Depends. How mad are you?

She couldn’t help the grin pulling at the corner of her mouth as she shifted in her seat. He always knew how to push her buttons, and somehow, it was annoying and comforting all at once. She leaned forward just slightly, letting her fingers slide over the screen with a slow precision.

Let’s just say I have some ideas on how you can make it up to me. They’re not exactly presidential.

She could almost hear the way he'd laugh at that, the way his voice would drop lower when he finally arrived, teasing, a mix of apology and amusement lingering in every word. A subtle thrill buzzed beneath her skin at the thought of it—him showing up at this stuffy event, his tie loosened like he just couldn't be bothered to care about the formalities, eyes searching for her in the crowd. He’d probably head straight for the bar first, like always.

Her phone buzzed again. You’re killing me. Almost there.

Good, she typed back quickly, because if you make me suffer through one more story about NATO, you’re not leaving my place until Monday. She paused, deleting the last part and rewriting it: And we both know you’ll never make it out of bed if that happens.

Her heart beat a little faster as she hit send, the words bold but charged with the weight of everything that wasn’t being directly said between them tonight. The back-and-forth had a rhythm to it, one they’d mastered ages ago—teasing, playful, but always teetering on the edge of something more, something they both knew would come later.

The room felt too hot, or maybe that was just her, thinking about how this night might end. She shifted in her seat again, smoothing her dress as though it would help her focus on anything other than the slow ache building in her stomach. He had a way of leaving her hanging, just long enough to make her miss him, just long enough to make her want to drag him back down to earth when he finally showed up.

A text blinked onto her screen: I’ve got plans for you, too. You sure you can wait that long?

Her breath hitched, cheeks warming under the pretense of politeness as she quickly glanced up. No one was paying attention to her; they were all still talking, still engrossed in their own conversations, completely unaware of the tension coiling in her chest. She took a slow, deep breath, typing with steady fingers.

Guess we’ll see how long you last once you get here.

The anticipation gnawed at her, that familiar mix of frustration and excitement pulling her thoughts in a direction that had nothing to do with the formal dinner in front of her. She hated him for it—how easily he could do this, how he made her feel like a teenager sneaking glances at her phone under the table. She'd spent the last hour pretending to be invested in conversations that bored her to tears, all while her mind kept wandering back to him. He always seemed to slip in under her skin, no matter where they were or what they were supposed to be doing.

A quick glance at the clock confirmed it—he was SO late. And she’d definitely make him pay for it.

Her phone buzzed once more: Five minutes. Hold that thought.

She bit her lip, locking her phone and slipping it back into her clutch. Five minutes. He’d better be worth the wait.

Exactly five minutes later the heavy wooden doors at the back of the room creaked open, she felt it before she saw him. A subtle shift in the energy, like a current had swept through the air, crackling with something undeniably him. She didn't even need to look; she just knew. He always carried that kind of presence—an unspoken, irresistible pull that seemed to stop time for just a second.

He entered the room with effortless grace, his suit impeccably tailored, tie just loose enough to match the way she'd pictured him. His hair, slightly tousled as if he'd run his fingers through it in frustration during the drive, added an unpolished, rugged edge to his usual sharpness. It made him look more… raw. The casual way his fingers brushed the doorframe in a fleeting acknowledgment sent a flutter of anticipation through her. He never quite belonged at these formal events, but somehow, he always managed to make it work—damn well, too.

Her gaze flicked up, just for a moment. He was scanning the room, eyes sharp but relaxed, looking for her like she was the only person here that mattered. And when their eyes finally met, a small grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, his expression softening in that way that made her heart pound a little harder than she’d care to admit. He could be all business when he needed to be—charming the crowd, shaking hands with a firm grip, his posture straight and serious—but right now, his focus was locked on her.

He made his way over, stopping to exchange pleasantries, the occasional handshake, a nod to some official who probably expected him to be more engaged. But all the while, his gaze would flick back to her, lingering like a private joke shared between them across the room. The closer he got, the harder it became to keep her composure, her pulse quickening as he finally closed the distance.

"Sorry I’m late," he murmured, sliding into the seat next to her, his voice low enough that only she could hear. It was that voice—the one he used when they were alone, intimate in a way that made her want to forget they were surrounded by high-ranking officials and polished silverware. "Traffic was hell."

She didn’t look at him right away, though she could feel the warmth of him so close now, the faint scent of his cologne mixing with the clean, subtle musk that was just him. Instead, she leaned slightly closer, enough that her bare arm brushed against the sleeve of his jacket, her lips barely curving as she whispered, "You’re going to regret making me wait."

He chuckled softly under his breath, a sound that sent a ripple of heat straight through her. "I’ve been regretting it since I walked through the door."

She barely had time to smirk in response before she reached up to her ear, fingers brushing over her earring as if adjusting it. Then, with a deliberate tilt of her head, she let it drop, the small piece of jewelry landing softly on the carpet under the table. She made a small, exaggerated sigh, leaning just a little closer to him.

"Oops," she whispered, her lips almost grazing the curve of his jaw before she leaned back, placing her hand on his thigh, pushing herself up slightly as she slipped out of her chair and ducked under the table.

He froze, the low conversation at the table above them seeming to blur into the background as she disappeared from view. She moved slowly, deliberately, taking her time as she reached for the earring that had “fallen,” her fingers grazing his ankle, then his shin. The proximity was dangerous, thrilling. He could feel the brush of her breath against his leg, her soft, teasing touch dragging higher, lingering near his knee.

Above, he cleared his throat, eyes darting around to make sure no one was paying attention. His body tensed under her touch, but his expression remained carefully composed. "You’re playing with fire," he muttered through clenched teeth, his hand gripping the edge of the table just a little tighter.

She didn’t respond, not with words anyway. Instead, she let her hand slide higher, nails grazing the fabric of his pants as she shifted under the table, taking her sweet time retrieving the earring. Her lips brushed the inside of his thigh, featherlight, sending a jolt through him that he barely managed to suppress. The anticipation of it all—the forbidden teasing in such a public setting—made the heat between them burn that much hotter.

Finally, she slipped back into her chair, the earring held daintily between her fingers as she shot him an innocent smile, like nothing had just happened. Her heart raced, adrenaline rushing through her veins, but she played it cool, setting the earring back in place with slow, deliberate movements.

"Got it," she whispered, her lips grazing just near his ear before she leaned back into her seat, though the warmth of her body still clung to him, an intoxicating reminder.

He exhaled, a little shakier than he intended, his fingers brushing her thigh beneath the table—a silent, fleeting promise that this wasn’t over. Not even close.

As if on cue, her fingers slipped back under the table, moving so casually it could’ve been mistaken for adjusting her napkin. The moment her hand made contact, he stiffened, a barely noticeable shift in his seat—except she noticed. She always did. Her fingers teased his thigh, just the faintest brush through the fabric of his pants, as if daring to see how far she could go without anyone around them suspecting.

"Relax," she breathed, lips barely moving, her eyes forward on the conversation around them as if nothing was amiss. The teasing glint in her gaze stayed fixed on the speakers at the table, but her attention was all on him, on the way he shifted under her touch. "You deserve a little distraction after keeping me waiting."

His breath caught in his throat as her hand inched higher, teasingly slow, tracing the firm muscles of his thigh with an almost affectionate familiarity. Every touch was deliberate, calculated, but still light enough to drive him insane with anticipation. Her thumb brushed up his inner leg, circling the sensitive area just above his knee, her hand resting there as if to remind him she was in control.

"You're lucky no one's looking under this table," she murmured under her breath, her voice low, barely above a whisper. Her fingers slid up again, grazing closer and closer to his growing hardness. She could feel the tension radiating off of him, the way his posture had stiffened, legs spread just a little wider to give her more room to work her mischief.

He shifted, turning his head slightly to glance at her, a mixture of warning and desperation in his eyes. "Don’t push it," he muttered, but his voice was strained, betraying how much he wanted her to keep going.

"Or what?" she teased, her lips curving into a smug smile. Her hand brushed over his bulge now, just enough pressure to make him twitch in response, his breath catching as she pressed her palm firmly against him, rubbing in slow, deliberate strokes. "You’re not exactly in a position to make demands right now."

He swallowed hard, jaw tightening, his hand gripping the edge of the table to keep himself grounded. She was relentless, fingers trailing lightly along the length of him through the fabric, tracing every inch as though she had all the time in the world. It was a dangerous game—one she was winning, and they both knew it.

"Good boy," she whispered, her voice barely audible as her hand squeezed him, a little firmer this time. His reaction was instant—his hips shifted, pushing subtly into her hand as if he couldn’t help himself. The praise hit him hard, that mix of teasing and genuine affection that always got under his skin in ways he couldn’t explain.

She leaned in closer, lips brushing his ear as she kept stroking him under the table. "You like it when I take care of you like this, don’t you?" Her voice was soft, almost sweet, a complete contrast to the filthy things she was doing beneath the tablecloth.

His breath came out in short, shallow bursts, the need building inside him with every subtle stroke of her hand. He wanted to reach out, stop her, or at least make her slow down, but the way she kept praising him, teasing him—it was making it impossible to think straight.

"You’ve been so good since you got here," she continued, voice dropping lower, more intimate. "Sitting here, pretending like nothing’s happening… but we both know you’re losing it under that suit." Her fingers curled slightly, pressing harder against him, her movements quickening just enough to drive him to the edge of control. "I think you like it, being all buttoned up while I do this. Makes you feel dirty, doesn’t it?"

He let out a quiet groan, barely audible but enough to make her grin in satisfaction. She could feel how hard he was now, the tension burning off him as she worked him with slow, rhythmic strokes. The urge to tease him even more, to push him just a little further, was overwhelming.

"Keep it together," she whispered, her lips brushing his earlobe. "Think of it like a stealth mission. Don’t get us caught... unless that’s what you’re after?"

He sucked in a breath, trying to maintain some semblance of composure, but her words were unraveling him, piece by piece. The gentle praise, the way her hand worked him over through his clothes—it was making it impossible to focus on anything other than the heat building between them.

Her fingers pressed harder, stroking him in steady, relentless movements, her thumb brushing over the head of his erection just enough to drive him insane. "You’re doing so good for me," she whispered, the words slipping out with an almost sultry affection. "Just stay quiet… and let me take care of you."

His breathing was ragged now, chest rising and falling as he struggled to keep his composure. She knew she had him exactly where she wanted him—on the edge, teetering between control and the desperate need for release, all while they sat surrounded by dignitaries and officials, none the wiser.

"You’re gonna pay for this," he growled out through clenched teeth, his voice low, filled with barely restrained need.

She smirked, leaning in one last time to whisper, "I’m counting on it." Then, with a final squeeze, she pulled her hand away, leaving him on the brink of madness, breathless and aching under the table, longing for something more.

As he regained his composure, the conversation at the table shifted, the voices of the other guests mingling like background noise, just as one of the older officials—a stern-faced man in his sixties—turned to him.

“Kennedy,” the man said, raising an eyebrow with a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. “You’re cutting it a bit close tonight. Care to share what kept you? We were beginning to think you’d bailed on us.”

Leon’s face didn’t flinch; he’d been trained for this kind of thing—quick thinking, flawless execution. He straightened up in his seat, hands resting casually on the tablecloth, and offered a small, apologetic smile.

“Well, you know how it is," he began smoothly, his voice calm, not missing a beat. "Duty calls at the worst times, and traffic through D.C. isn’t exactly forgiving—especially when you’re coming from a briefing.” He met the man’s gaze, unflinching, the picture of professionalism.

But just as he delivered the perfect answer, he felt it—a sudden, deliberate squeeze against his thigh. Her hand had found its way back under the table, fingers pressing firmly, teasingly, right over the same spot she had been tormenting earlier. His body jolted involuntarily, and his breath caught in his throat.

He coughed—a sharp, sudden sound that made everyone at the table glance in his direction. His cheeks flushed instantly, a heat rising up his neck as the smooth façade he’d been maintaining cracked under the pressure of her playful touch. He glanced down, just barely, eyes narrowing in warning, but the smirk on her face was unmistakable.

Before he could gather himself, she chimed in, her voice laced with playful innocence. “I, for one, am just glad he never arrives early,” she said with a perfectly straight face, her hand squeezing him again just as the last word left her lips.

Leon barely managed to regain his composure, but the heat radiating from his face was unmistakable. He shifted in his seat, praying no one noticed the subtle tension in his posture. Ashley had retreated her hand, but the teasing, devilish smile on her lips told him she still wasn’t done. Not yet.

Once the spotlight shifted away from them and the conversation at the table resumed, he felt her lean in close again, her lips grazing the sensitive skin of his ear as her hand slipped back into his lap. His heart raced, the heat radiating from her presence, the delicate movements of her fingers, and the softness of her breath igniting something primal within him that he could no longer contain.

“You always come right on time for me,” she whispered, her voice low, sultry, the words laced with double meaning that sent a jolt of heat straight through him.

And just like that, his body betrayed him.

His breath hitched, barely controlled, as a sudden wave of intense pleasure surged through him—sharp and overwhelming. His hands tightened into fists under the table, his muscles going rigid as he fought to keep from making any sound, the sensation crashing through him with a force he hadn't expected. His heart pounded in his ears, his pulse throbbing as the world around him blurred.

He was coming, right there at the table, his body betraying him with a shudder he could barely keep in check. It was quick, desperate, and utterly humiliating, yet the rush of pleasure was undeniable. He clenched his jaw, his teeth gritting as he struggled to hold back any outward sign, but he could feel the wetness pooling against the fabric of his briefs, soaking through.

Ashley pulled back slightly, her gaze flicking over him knowingly, a hint of satisfaction in her eyes as if she could sense exactly what had just happened. And before he could fully recover, she leaned in one more time, her lips brushing his cheek in the softest, most delicate kiss.

It was innocent enough on the surface—just a sweet gesture, nothing out of the ordinary for anyone paying attention. But the pressure of her lips against his skin, the way they lingered, the suggestive warmth in her voice when she whispered, “I told you you’d pay for being late,” made it anything but innocent.

Leon couldn’t respond. His body still trembled with the aftershocks of release, his mind barely catching up to what had just happened, and he was left speechless, still flushed with both pleasure and mortification. The sensation, the intensity of it, made him dizzy.

Ashley, for her part, sat back in her chair, completely composed, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as though nothing had happened. She didn't even glance his way again, as if she'd already won, leaving him to stew in his embarrassment while the dinner conversation continued around them.

Leon swallowed hard, still processing everything, his gaze darting around the table to ensure no one had noticed his moment of weakness. But as Ashley shifted beside him, her hand lightly brushing his under the table in a silent reassurance, a warm comfort settled in his chest.

Despite it all, she had him—completely and utterly—and now they just needed to survive the rest of the evening. They waited patiently for the others to leave, cherishing their private moment amidst the surrounding noise. Finally, he turned to her, a hint of guilt in his eyes. “I’m really sorry for being late,” he murmured.

She met his gaze with a teasing smile, her eyes sparkling. “Don’t worry about it. I think we’re even now—after all, I made you arrive on time in front of everyone.”

#leon kennedy #ashley graham #leon x ashley #eagleone #leshley #anon ask #fandom writing #fanfiction #light dom/sub #playing under the table

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