#also bi Courtney it could happen

[spookysinner45]

5 and 8 for Courtney from the agents of DIO ask game please!

Eeee thank you for asking Taha! 💙💙💙

05.) Does your OC have a significant fight (or multiple) against the Crusaders? Do they team up with any other agents or us it solo thing? Alternatively, if your OC isn't a fighter, do they have a significant role to make up for it?

So being as Courtney's only experience fighting would her story escaping from her stalker Hugh Hancock that takes place around maybe 1986? So that would be her intro into fighting however I doubt that would prove that she can be like her partners and go out of the country to fight the Crusaders. Plus in order for Part 06 to happen to go along her children Kurt and Francis would have been born respectfully 1987 and 1988 so good chance she'll stay in the manor. I always visualized her being after Terence and Vanilla Ice as like a last resort, she faces off with Jotaro, Kakyoin and Joseph after finding Nukesaku or kills Polnareff depending on what timeline we're in lol /j/lh

She hides her identity and attacks at the entrance/where that place was where they found Kenny G. but gets foiled after being pulled off the railing to the second floor and goes tumbling down. Joseph recognizes who she is working with her grandmother Clarissa and what she could do after her mask gets lifted, but before anything could happen they hear children crying which distracts them enough for Courtney to book it towards them. Jotaro in Jotaro fashion chase after her only to find her trying to calm them down and maybe slight sympathy gets felt where he doesn't bother her and meets up with the rest.... Bad call Jotaro as the last we actually see of her in Part 3 would be in similar fashion giving her energy to DIO like her great-great grandmother Florence. However not enough to kill her, he weakens her but not enough as he tells her to take her children and escape.

08.) Does your OC survive their part? If so, what do they do afterwards? Do they reappear at all? If they don't survive, where and how does their story end?

Courtney does! After DIO's defeat, she's found by the Speedwagon Foundation where she is completely unwilling to help them out. Even when she meets her grandmother for the first time ever she's still hella hella pissed about her friends and partners so any part where she's near Jotaro or Clarissa like Part 04 and 06, complete personality change. She tries to live a private life in America with Midler, who she found and happily let her live with her and her sons. Do they get together? Well kinda, but not kinda as Courtney is still seen mourning Soul and Dan in Part 04 so Midler acts as a support system... Then they woke up and decided, okay yeah we've lived together for 9 years, we're together haha. Courtney doesn't die until Part 06, both of her sons are adults and in prison because they're exactly like their dads and she's waiting until the very last day to post bail as she's pissed that their both of them are purposely trying to make the others life as miserable as they can. Francis literally paid to be in that prison so he could fuck with Kurt, what a jerk! Anyways Courtney accidentally gets caught in between one their fights as minor villain with a stand power of controlling walls to make them close, crushimg her being in the wrong place in the wrong time. Both brothers find out and it's kinda considered the end of the Part as Francis realizes he went to far and Kurt is put in the maximum security ward due to an altercation where he meets Jolyne. Not before finally seeing his parents reunite in the afterlife 💙

[narcissistcookbook]

I was at your show last year in July, the Atlanta one, I was the blond girl who asked you to play Courtney during your warm up (I swear this ask has a point) so thank you for doing that.

Point is, during the show proper, you had on a shirt that said "Protect Trans Youth" and I loved every second of the show but I also spent the entire show afraid that my mom would see, and just praying that the pink lighting and crazy energy would be enough that she couldn't see.

On the drive home, she brought the shirt up, and I thought "Oh no, here's where I either have to change the subject and hope she doesn't notice or say a lot of bigoted shit to play along and feel terrible about it later, because if I defend the shirt or NC then she'll tell my dad and we'll have a horrible fight and I'll say things I don't mean and he'll say things he does mean and I'll get in big trouble, and I might even get my computer taken away, which hasn't happened yet but that specific threat has cowed me more times than I can remember, and if that happens he's absolutely going to go through all my files and writings and things and find out that I'm bi and maybe genderqueer and not by any metric a Conservative and then shit'll REALLY hit the fan."

But after initially bringing it up my mom didn't really say anything. And it occurred to me, if I'd been there with my father or my sister they would have absolutely made us leave after Bug got off stage and you got on wearing the shirt. So I guess my point is, the only conclusion I can come to is that something you said or did or sang made it so my mom didn't drag me home the moment your shirt said "Protect Trans Youth". Music and art helped open my mind when I was much younger, and later it helped me discover who I was, so if your goal as a musician is to help people do that sort of thing, I can only hope and pray and say thank you so, so much, for wearing a "Protect Trans Youth" shirt at a concert and for doing something that made my mother decide not to leave, and to finish the concert.

oh wow

you know, it never even occurred to me that wearing that shirt or being generally confrontational about the things that matter to me on stage could have any impact beyond pissing off a stray conservative. i'm sorry it stressed you out and that under other circumstances it could have resulted in you missing the show, that isn't cool at all.

but! i'm glad it turned out the way it did 💜

[total-drama-atlas]

Character Headcanons

this is just sexuality and gender hcs lol but here we go! I'm going to go in first elimination order in their debut season, except for the new cast (because i haven't finished the season yet, so I dont want to spoil it for myself) which will be in the order that i remember them, then the hosts.

Ezekiel: I think he's cishet. just the homeschool stereotype and all that. but maybe he discovers something about himself between meeting alejandro and going completely feral

Eva: she's a butch lesbian. i personally think she's cis, but i could see transfem eva

Noah: gay trans man. i mean have you guys even seen his character

justin: I think he's aroace. again, i personally think justin is cis, but i could see him being trans

katie: trans lesbian. i just know it okay

tyler: he's bi. he absolutely had a crush on alejandro. you can't change my mind. i also think he's cis but again, i could see him being transmasc

izzy: shes transfem. of course. and i think she's a lesbian, but i could see her being bi or pan. assuming she's lesbian, her relationship with owen could either be just strategy or comphet. you decide

cody: have you seen the way that boy dresses? trans man bisexual disaster.

beth: personally, i think she gives cishet vibes, but i could see her possibly being bi and/or transfem.

sadie: obviously lesbian. she and katie are in love. of course. and idk if she's cis or trans. i could see either. but I think she is also trans. t4t

courtney: as much as i love duncney... i think courtney is lesbian. i think she has extreme comphet and she doesn't realize her sexuality until wt, and then doesn't come to terms with it and accept herself until all stars. but i think she's cis

harold: transfem harold is canon. to me. idk their sexuality tho. i could see them as omni or pan tho.

trent: bisexual trent is so real guys. again, i personally think he's cis, but I could see transmasc trent

bridgette: i could see her as transfem, but I also could see her as cis. also she gives me pan vibes but I can also see her being straight. idrk

lindsay: shes pan. i just know it okay. i personally see her as cis, but again, i could see transfem lindsay. or transmasc lindsay.

DJ: cis, aroace. he's just a really sweet guy

geoff: cis, bisexual. i just know it okay

leshawna: cis, bisexual. i just. i just know it okay

duncan: cis bisexual. he'll call you a slur tho

heather: transfem lesbian. trust me guys. i could also see her being ace tho

gwen: transfem bi. i just know

owen: cis bi. he is canonically bi btw. he had a crush on justin. it was played as a joke but. that's just what happened

blaineley: i could see her as straight or queer honestly. i personally think she's cishet.

sierra: transfem. for sure. and i think she's a lesbian with comphet. just like heather and courtney.

alejandro: I think he's cis, but i could see him being trans. also he's bi. trust me. but i mean i could see him being gay. it's plausible.

staci: she doesn't have enough screen time for me to tell. she has like. ten minutes total. but shes trans

dakota: transfem pansexual. i just know it okay

B: i think they're nb, or at the least a trans man. i mean. his deadname is a traditionally feminine name.. it lines up. they're not cis i can tell you that much. anyway i think he's aroace

dawn: genderqueer panromantic ace. just trust me okay

sam: he gives me cishet vibes, but also i could easily see him being bi or pan.

Brick: i feel like he's cis but I also like the idea of him experimenting with gender nonconformity. and as much as i like jo x brick as a ship, i also think brick is probably gay. or bi with a heavy male preference

anne maria: transfem anne maria is canon. to me. anyway she's very much bi.

mike: i feel like he's cis but i could see him as trans, and i think he's pan. i'm also treating his alters like separate characters, though i know very little about multiple personality disorder, so idk if that's exactly how that works (feel free to correct me in replies)

vito: i hc him to be cis but idk. also he's pan. if vito finds you hot, it doesn't matter what you've got going on.

Svetlana: transfem lesbian. trust me okay

chester: cishet ally.

mal: look i like the queer hcs for mal. y'all are so real for that. but i think he's cishet and homophobic and transphobic

manitoba: trans manitoba is real. to me. also he's pan. trust me y'all

jo: trans butch lesbian

scott: cis gay man

zoey: she could be either cis or trans. i think she's transfem. and also she's pan. i don't think an explanation is necessary

cameron: she was very sheltered, so i doubt she would have been exposed to LGBTQ+ stuff so she wouldn't know it at first.. but I think cam would be transfem. bc i saw a post where someone said that it would be funny if cameron realized she was trans because lightning kept calling her a "girl" and that was her awakening lol. anyway she's ace

lightning: cis gay man

beardo: he gets like ten minutes of screen time and he doesn't really talk.. cis bi

leonard: cis gay. i just know it

amy: cishet +homo/transphobic (i'll explain in a minute)

rodney: he's cis, okay. and pan. i just know it

sammy: shes transfem lesbian. trust me. That's why Amy hates her sm. it lines up with real experiences that I know people have

ella: she's bi. i just know it. but i'm not sure what their gender situation is.. but she uses she/they pronouns

Topher: cis gay man. just look at him i mean

dave: cishet. undecided on his opinion of queer people. (he decides he's an ally when he finds out sky is queer but he then declares himself homophobic when she rejects him) he would call you a slur

scarlett: transfem lesbian.

max: transmasc gay.

jasmine: transfem bi

sugar: cis lesbian

shawn: transmasc pan. i just know it okay

sky: transfem bi/pan. i just know it okay. also that's why dave decided he's homophobic and transphobic now

Tammy: trans lesbian. trust me okay

Pete: cis gay. also he's married to gerry

Gerry: cis gay. also he's married to pete

Ellody: trans lesbian. also she's dating mary

Mary: cis lesbian. also she's dating ellody

laurie: cis bisexual. also she's dating miles

miles: trans lesbian. also she's dating laurie

tom: cis gay

jen: cis lesbian

kelly: cishet ally

taylor: cishet homophobe

jay: major cishet vibes. but idk he might learn some things. once he's actually esposed to the outside world

mickey: see jay.

lorenzo: cishet. i didn't really care for the stepbros team so i haven't really put much though into it

chet: cishet. see lorenzo

rock: nonbinary bisexual. also he's dating spud

spud: trans gay man. also he's dating rock

dwayne: cishet homophobe

junior: he's like. 11. i'm not saying you can't have figured our your sexuality and gender at that age. but junior definitely hasnt

ennui: trans bi man. canonically dating crimson (and i'm keeping taht)

crimson: trans bi woman. canonically dating ennui (and Im keeping it taht way)

stephanie: cis bi woman. i just know it.

ryan: cishet ally

devin: cis bi man

carrie: cishet ally (she's a HUGE ally okay)

kitty: cis lesbian

emma: cis lesbian

josee: transfem lesbian

jacques: trans gay man

macarthur: trans butch lesbian. also she's dating sanders

sanders: cis lesbian. also she's dating macarthur

brody: cis pansexual. just trust me okay

axel: trans butch lesbian. also she's in love with nichelle

nichelle: cis femme lesbian. also she's in love with axel

emma: cis lesbian with extreme comphet

chase: cis bi man with lots of internalized homophobia. anyway he's in love with ripper

ripper: cis bi man. also he's in love with chase. (i don't like ripper or chase. they're perfect for each other tho)

wayne: cishet ally (he's canonically an ally!!)

raj: cis gay. also bowraj for life

bowie: cis gay. also bowraj for life

i need to make another block of text bc i reached the character limit lmao

scary girl/lauren: transfem lesbian. i just know it

zee: nonbinary pansexual. trust me

julia: cis lesbian. but she'll call you a slur. she's dating MK

damien: i think he's a cishet ally. but i could see him as bi

caleb: cis aroace. no i will not elaborate

millie: transfem lesbian

priya: cis lesbian

MK: nonbinary lesbian. they're dating julia

The host with the most, chris mclean: trans gay man. he'll call you a slur tho. he's married to chef

Chef Hatchet: cis gay man. he's married to chris

Don: cis gay man. he hates chris's guts.

that's every character. anyway next week it's going to be a tierlist of all the characters <3

[billthedrake]

MY SON'S PORN LIFE

It was just porn, I rationalized, and I'm a man with a more than healthy libido. Married with three kids, I have a decent sex life with my wife, especially considering that we've been married for 25 years now.

But I like to jerk off, too, and since I turned 50, my bi side had been rearing itself more. A while back I went through a phase of lining up no-strings BJs from guys on the side. I'd put that behind me, but I still got off on the fantasy of fucking a guy or having him suck me. 8 times out of 10, when I was looking for stroke fodder, I'd pull up a gay porn video.

Then came the fateful day. I didn't even know what I was looking at first. I was just browsing one of those free video sites and saw a thumbnail of two hot bodies with a tag like "Hot Jocks Fuck After Practice." Unlike with women, I don't even know that I have a type when it comes to guys, but these dudes looked hot... muscular and young 20s, smooth bodied. They're probably everyone's type.

I clicked, and my heart sank.

It started out PG-rated, with two jockish guys sitting on a couch, one with his arm draped over the other's shoulder as the cameraman asked them questions and the guys talking about being excited for the scene that was about to happen.

One of the young men, the blond hunk with his arm draped over the beefier dark-haired guy, was my son Travis.

Holy fuck. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't believe it at first. My oldest kid - and only son - was doing gay porn. I listened to another half minute of the pre-sex interview and watched as Travis turned to the dark-haired dude, with a playful lust in his blue eyes and said, "Yeah, Sam has an amazing ass." He turned back to the camera with a grin and added, "Like, big fucking meaty cakes..."

"Ha," the cameraman laughed. "You ready to do this then?"

"Hell yeah," the dark haired guy replied.

I closed the browser, hyperventilating.

My Trav. Good kid, great student, played football at the expensive college we sent him to. I didn't know how long he'd been doing porn, or if this was a one-off. I wondered if he had any troubles, financial difficulties, drugs, gambling, whatever, that led him to do this. I wondered if I should tell his mother.

But I paused, staring at now blank screen. Maybe Travis was doing this for money, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. Sure there was playing along, but you can only fake so much.

And I knew Kate would freak out. She wasn't judgmental, but this was something else. Besides, she was the worrying sort of mother. That's why I loved her, that's why she was such a wonderful parent. But this would break her heart. I'd be keeping this to myself.

***

It was mid-afternoon in the office when Kate called. "Brad, you still able to make Caitlin's game today?" Our middle daughter Courtney was in college now, and Caitlin was now a senior in high school, which meant these soccer games would soon be a thing of the past.

I didn't mind, really. I had a sales job that could be crazy busy and required a lot of travel but days like that day I had some flexibility. And I loved my girls and enjoyed being the supportive dad. There were a few soccer parents who regularly showed up and we all kind of bonded. And the girls' team was really good that year. It was fun.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Great," my wife said. "I should be able to catch the last half, and maybe we can get dinner out. I have book club tonight," she reminded me.

We wrapped our conversation and I checked the clock. 2:30. I put in another hour of work, then cut out early.

I knew I'd be on my own for taking care of my orgasm that evening, so I went home first. I had enough time for a nice, leisurely stroke and looked forward to enjoying it.

As I got to my bedroom and kicked off my shoes, though, a thought hit me. A curiosity, sure, but also a horniness.

I wanted to watch my son Travis fuck a guy.

I was shaking a little as I searched again for that video. But I wasn't as hesitant as I should have been. It took me a few seconds to find it. That familiar thumbnail. My heart beat. I pressed play.

I listened to the introductory banter. The flirtiness between the two guys, putting on their dumb-jock act. Then the cameraman prodding, "You ready to do this then?"

I was rock hard. My son kissed dark haired guy. Trav looked like a smooth operator, snaking his tongue between the other guy's lips and making out, softly at first, then with more lust.

Their hands now removed their tank tops. Dark haired guy was real muscular, like a total gym body. Still had his baby fat, which made his bulk hotter somehow. I watched Trav feel him up, and I had to unzip.

Travis was the real star, though. Ripped, waxed smooth, tanned muscle contrasting with his adorable boy next door looks. My eyes were riveted to him, drawn as much as the dark haired guy's hands, which were now pawing at Travis's bare chest and abs, and then moving down...

I let out a groan when that hand cupped Travis's crotch. This was the moment of truth. Was I going to watch more?

I couldn't stop it, or take my eyes away. Trav got a playful look on his face and undid his shorts, making his abs crunch as he lifted his hips to slide them off.

There it was. My son's cock. His erection, long and thick, very much like my own. I never thought of myself as having a porn star cock, but I knew I was hung, and now I had a son who literally had a porn star dick.

I felt the excitement over take me as I stroked my own prick and jets of semen shot out. Uncontrollably. A crazy orgasm that had my head flushed and pounding from the taboo excitement.

I shut the video and the computer. And I quickly cleaned my mess.

Fuck.

***

Yeah, I felt like a heel. But I'd gotten off big time, and I knew I would again.

By now I had a good lead. Trav went by the name of "Brent" and was a Sean Cody model. Turns out this wasn't his only, or even his first video.

I found the others. Each one was better than the last. Travis was the jock-next-door type who played it up for the camera. His MO seemed to be to start off slow and romantic with a guy and work up to really pounding the bottom's ass with long, hard strokes. More than one came hands free from it. I just about did, even watching.

I watched them all, savoring them one by one until I was able to make it to the end of each. Then I watched them repeatedly, too much. I thought the guilt would kick in and I'd come to my senses, but I never did. I thought the novelty of the forbidden fruit would wear off, but I came buckets watching Travis fuck guys. Every single time.

I dug around more. From the comments on blogs, it seemed that "Brent" was a fan favorite. There was some bitching from guys that Sean Cody didn't have stars like Travis any more, that they'd gone downhill over the last year.

That hit me for some reason. I mean, I was glad that porn was just a temporary thing for my son. Logically, I would have been happier if it hadn't been a thing at all for him. But fuck, I wanted to see more. I loved watching my son. It was like spying on him, letting me be a voyeur into his sex life. And, hands down, Travis was just a stud.

I initially felt a burst of shame when I saw my wife or daughters after I stroked off. But they didn't know. I was still a good father, though if Travis knew I wouldn't blame him for having another opinion of me.

When Travis came home for Christmas, it hit me. The awkwardness, the weight of the secret. He thought I was just stressed from work or something, I guess. We ended up having a good visit with him. But he seemed like he had something on his mind.

The last day, he gathered us around the table. He was nervous as hell, but he came right out with. "I've got something to tell you guys... I'm gay."

Caitlin and Courtney immediately got out of their chairs and went to hug their big brother. I never was prouder of them.

I wondered if Kate had any inclination, but I could tell then that she was surprised. She was supporting as always though. Not touchy feely like our daughter, but more communicative.

It was my turn. "We love you son. And I'm proud as hell of ya." I was getting a little teary but tried to be the stoic Dad. I think Travis appreciated both.

***

Life moved forward. Caitlin graduated from high school and was getting ready to head out East for college. Courtney was applying to med schools. Kate and I were starting to talk seriously about retirement and making plans for a future now that the kids were flying the coop.

Travis was now 25, out of college and living in Chicago. He worked as a personal trainer and just enjoyed being a young guy in the big city. He was probably enjoying dating and the gay scene, but I didn't know the details. But I had a sales visit in Chicago pretty often and I'd always book an extra night to have some quality time with my son.

It was nice to have a break from the "Brent" videos. Maybe it was the increased sex with Kate, a kind of second honeymoon, but I was watching way less porn. And while I visited Travis's videos from time to time, I wasn't as obsessed with them.

Until I saw a new one. An OnlyFans one shot in a hotel room. Only he was no longer "Brent" but "JakeTheJock." But it was the same hunky Travis, he'd even put on a little more muscle. And the same fuck technique... romantic making out, some swapped BJs or 69 for foreplay. Rimming his bottom, then going to pound town on him bareback.

It was like a junkie mainlining after getting out of rehab. I knew I shouldn't be watching, but there was just an incredible rush, a high even. I had gotten to where I regularly busted twice in a session watching Travis fuck, but this had me getting off three times.

It took some creativity but I found a way to subscribe to Trav's OnlyFans without any telltale signs on my credit card statement. With regularity, I found time to get off to watching my very hunky son have sex. The guilt hadn't gone completely away, but I'd gotten real good and compartmentalizing it. The weird thing is for as much as I watched my son's porn videos, I didn't have any specific fantasies involving me and him. It was just an immediate lust, combined with the thrill of taboo and the voyeurism of almost spying on him. Seeing his secret life.

At first I missed the relative professionalism of the Sean Cody vids, but Travis's OnlyFans offered the advantage of quantity. Every week, I got to watch Travis with another guy. Or a repeat session with one of the other OF "stars." He was branching out beyond jock types like him and doing other men. Some older, some beefier, some hairy. I loved watching it all. A couch BJ in a New York apartment, or shower sex in some London hotel. I was following up on my son's travel through his porn page.

***

It was hard to look at my son the same way again. I loved him and respected him as a normal proud parent, but when I visited him, in the back of my head all I could think of was Travis's toned muscle, his big thick dick and the size of his cum loads oozing out of some muscle dude's ass.

For what it was worth, my son SEEMED happier now, enjoying his life and his day job and filling me in a little on his dating life when I came to visit.

"Maybe I'm not ready to settle down," he admitted with a grin as we had dinner in some downtown restaurant that Travis had picked a change of pace from the expense account steakhouses I took prospects on my sales call.

God help me I found my son so attractive at that moment. The dim light of the restaurant bringing out his blond hair and blue eyes and his dimples and perfect teeth. I actually threw hard in my suit trousers under the tablecloth.

I was fucked up, I knew, but the next day I requested to be put more regularly on the Midwest territory at work. I passed it off as seniority and wanting some closer travel, but really I just wanted to be in Chicago more.

***

The next video my life changed. It was a Tuesday after my Chicago visit and I'd cut out of work a little early to have some time with a new video that was planned to drop. I still had no idea how far in advance Travis shot these. Maybe it was made right after my visit or weeks before.

I just knew something was different about this one. Travis had been paired with some older men before, mostly fitness buff types and muscle guys. But this one with by the handle "CornfedDaddy" and he looked a little like Travis - blond and blue eyed, that Scandinavian-German stock giving him some real height and bulk. He looked even more like me. Middle aged, fit but more normal looking than a normal porn star. I wondered how Travis's fan subscribers would react but seeing Travis making out with this dude got me hard as fuck.

I knew it was because I imagined myself in CornfedDaddy's place, and Travis actively attracted to me.

And that attraction was real. Travis wasn't faking the intensity of that kiss or the excitement in feeling up that 40-something bulk. My hunky son seemed almost dreamy voice as he growled, "Ready to show the guys something new, Daddy?"

That very word almost had me coming.

The man was like one of my goddamn work colleagues, or the married men you'd see around Kansas City. And he talked like a suburban guy, too. "Fuck yes," he answered with a happy laugh.

Travis's strong hand massaged the man's boner through his shorts, then pushed the hem down. CornfedDaddy might not have had a porn star body, but that dick was big, bigger than Travis's.

I watched as my son leaned over and started sucking on that giant hog.

I came, my first cum, shooting hard into my fist. I had to let go to cool off and stop the video a second. I wiped off the excess cum and tossed the kleenex in the trash. This was gonna be an epic stroke session.

I took a look around and checked my phone. Coast was going to be clear for a while. I resumed watching.

I'd seen Travis suck a dick before, but this felt more purposeful and certainly more of a challenge than the other bottoms he'd been with. But like before, he pulled off and leaned back on the couch, ready for his turn at being serviced. He pulled down his shorts and I saw my son's beautiful dick. I was proud I'd created a man that amazing.

CornfedDaddy got a big grin and scooted down onto his knees, between Travis's legs. I loved watching guys suck my son. Occasionally Travis would post oral only videos of some guy blowing him and swallowing his load. I don't know that I preferred those to the fucking but they were amazing in their own different way.

But Cornfed Daddy had a different kind of swagger to his dad-next-door expression. "Lift em up, son," he urged. And Travis did, pulling those thick, knotted thighs up and back to his chest.

The Daddy dove in, starting to rim Travis with an excited urgency.

"That's it, Daddy, eat my hole!" my son cried.

I shot the second time.

I was hyperventilating now. It took me a second to get the energy to pause the video. Daddy was just pulling out.

I looked down at my load. Not as heavy as the first, but jesus it was heavier than it had a right to be. I was grateful now that I hadn't chickened out or let my guilt stop me from subscribing to Travis's videos.

I took more of a break this time. I got some water and checked some work emails. I knew I wanted another cum, but i was in my 50s. I'd need some recovery time.

Finally, I was ready. I already knew this would be a video I'd savor for many sessions. I resumed it and wondered it was going to go where I dreamed it might.

It did. Cornfed grabbed some lube and slicked up his cock before lining it up with my sons hole, teasing it some.

"First time on camera, right?" he asked Travis.

My son's adorable smile showed as he nodded. "Fuck yeah. Figure it was time for those guys to watch me get fucked."

Cornfed gave him a quick kiss then leaned up and hissed. "Let's show them, then."

And like that I was watching another man penetrate my stud son's hot ass.

I held off stroking and just let my cock ache in hardness as I watched. I knew instinctively this was not Travis's first cock. But the virginity idea hit me deep, and the men on screen were playing it up.

Travis leaned back and stroked his big dick and came hard, shooting ropes on his ripped torso.

Cornfed kept fucking, but within a minute he was getting close, too. I watched him approach his nut and started stroking myself, trying to time my third cum with the ejaculation inside my son. It was pretty close. Watching that Daddy orgasm and hearing his grunt sent me firing.

By now, I was feeling spent and overstimulated. I had to shut the video and focus on something besides what I saw.

****

I had a Chicago sales call the following week. I gave Travis some space, telling him I'd be in the city more now and if he had other plans, he shouldn't feel obligated to meet up this time.

"Nonsense, Dad," he said. "I have some evening clients that day but I could meet you after."

I had a business dinner anyway, so I told him I'd come to Boystown for a change, and meet him for a drink around 9:30.

God, he looked like a million bucks, his workout clothes fitting his form well. He had an amazing body on camera, but up close his muscle seemed firmer, bigger. I had a fleeting thought that I should hire him as my personal trainer.

I was tempted to have a normal evening, but it had been weighing on my mind. The need to come clean. Not all of it of course, but halfway through our first drink I dropped the bombshell.

"Trav... I know how to bring this up, but I know about your videos," I said quietly.

I expected a sense of shame or embarrassment, but Travis mostly just seemed surprised. "Did someone tell you?" he asked.

I shook my head, letting out more than maybe I should. "No, I just stumbled on one."

That made my son grin. "So you watched me?" he asked with a gentle laugh.

The fact that my son didn't seem put off by me watching him made my heart pound and my mind go where it shouldn't. But I lied. "No... when I saw it was you...." I didn't know how to explain, maybe because there was no good explanation.

Travis's laid back nature put me at ease some. "I didn't know you were into gay stuff, Dad," he said with an easy smile. I could tell he was happy with that knowledge. Maybe it made him feel less of an outcast in the family or something.

"I guess I have a bi streak when it comes to porn," I admitted. I figured it was the least I could own up to, since I'd practically admitted it already. "But you're not telling your mother," I added with a playful smile of your own.

"Don't worry, Dad," he assured me. "Um, does she know about my porn life."

"No," I said. "No guarantees someone won't tell her, though."

He nodded. "Yeah, I figure. I mean, I'm not ashamed of it, Dad. I enjoy it and it's good money coming in. I'll probably be able to buy a nice condo in a year or so."

I shook my head with a little wince. For as much as I'd perved to my son, a father doesn't like hearing this kid is doing something which may harm him. "I hope you don't mind that I brought it up."

Travis patted my leg. Not flirty, but affectionate. "Nah, it's good you did. I don't like keeping secrets." He took as sip of his drink then continued, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Depends," I said. Nervous for what he was going to ask.

"So, when you came across my vid, you must have been watching some other stuff, right?"

"Yes," I replied softy.

Travis's expression got a little naughty grin. "Like, what kind of stuff?"

"Travis!" I admonished him.

"Come on, Dad," he coaxed me, undaunted. "It's just porn. All guys watch it."

God, there was something so assured and open about my son's embrace of sexuality that had me opening up to him. "There are a couple of guys that I like," I said, naming two of the Only Fans models I'd seen Travis paired with: MusclePupXXX and MrCakes.

I could tell my son was glad I told him. A secret between us, and maybe a bond. "I know those guys," he smiled. "I can hook you up with one if you like."

"Jesus!" I swore. Then gaining my calm, I tried to respond with a quip, "In case you don't remember, I'm a married man."

He shrugged. "It's just sex. I mean, men are pigs right?"

I worried maybe my son was way too jaded and that doing porn hadn't helped him. A scary idea occured to me. "Trav... you're not hustling are you?" I'd been afraid to ask.

Travis sighed. "It's not like that, Dad," he said. I wish he'd come out and said "no." But I got some assurance out his reply. "I like doing porn and that's good enough for me. It helps me build my client base up, too."

"For real?" I asked. For some reason I hadn't thought there would be a benefit to doing those videos.

"Oh yeah," my son explained. "I get so much business from guys who want me as a trainer."

"What? Do you sleep with them?" Then I held my hands up. "You know what? That's none of my business."

"You really wanna know," Travis was challenging me. "I don't charge them for it, but yeah, if they're hot and there's chemistry, then I'll have sex with them. It's fun and I've met a lot of hot guys that way. They're happy, too." He paused and gauged my reaction. "You don't approve, do you?"

I sighed and shook my head. "It's me who's worried about you not approving," I said.

Travis seemed surprised. "For watching gay porn? Dad, that's like the most normal thing ever. Seriously."

Our conversation turned to more normal day-to-day stuff, but when I got back to my hotel, I was glad I'd cleared the air with Travis. I felt like he had a closer bond now.

***

My next trip was a few weeks later. I'd hoped to treat Travis to dinner, but I had a business engagement that kept me till late. I texted my son to see if he was up for meeting me for a drink somewhere. He said sure and I grabbed an Uber to meet him closer to his neighborhood.

He wasn't alone. As I walked into the place, I saw him sitting next to a guy. Shorter, compact muscle that showed through his tight T-shirt. Trimmed beard, cute as fuck. It was MusclePupXXX.

"Hey Dad, I brought my friend Mike along," he explained. I played it cool and shook the guy's hands. The dude's eyes were on me, lecherous but playful at the same time. I was annoyed at Travis but also feeling an ego boost that this stud friend of his would be into me.

The next fifteen minutes was excruciating though. Trying to have a conversation with my son and small talk with this stranger at the same time. Processing my conflicting emotions.

Finally, Mike excused himself to the restroom. Travis had a shit-eating grin.

"Trav, what the fuck?" I growled.

He seemed undaunted. "Come on, Dad. Mike thinks your hot. It's your fantasy on a silver plate. Bang a porn star. No strings, no worries."

"I can't," I complained.

"If you don't wanna, no skin off my back," he said. "Honest, Dad, I'm not trying to piss you off. Just thought you'd enjoy it."

Mike came back, interrupting our conversation. We'd finished the drink, when Travis said he had to go. "I have a 6AM client," he explained, getting up from the bar seat.

Mike looked over at me, trying to read what I was going to do.

"I think I may stay for another," I said, blushing the minute I said it.

Mike didn't miss a beat. "I will too. Later, bro?" he said to Travis, giving him a fist bump then getting up for a gay-dude hug and kiss.

The remainder of the evening went down pretty much as you'd expect. Heavy eye contact then me taking MusclePupXXX back to my hotel room, where I got a real porn star blow job before pulling him off and asking if I could fuck him.

This wasn't some DL Craigslist BJ. This was real, honest to god man-to-man sex, and it ws incredible. I pounded this muscle hunk in multiple positions and he was every bit the power bottom he was on screen. It occurred to me that he was getting the father of another guy who'd fucked him and that was a big part of the turn on for him. The idea got me off, too, and I nutted hard in his hole, collapsing onto his back as I caught my breath.

I thought I'd feel guilty after but that orgasm had put me in a good mood. We showered together, softly making out and exploring each other's soapy wet bodies.

"So, my son didn't pay you for that, did he?" I asked, not accusing in tone, more curious.

Mike grinned and reached down to cup my genitals. "Nah. You're hot, man. You're a good fuck too. You should hit me up next time you're in Chicago."

"So you live here," I said dumbly. For some reason I thought maybe Mike was just visiting from New York or LA.

"Best city on Earth," he nodded proudly. "And Midwestern guys are the hottest."

With that he turned around and backed his meaty ass against my now hard again dick. Yeah, round two sounded amazing.

***

The next time I visited, I fucked MusclePupXXX again. A quickie in the afternoon, before my work dinner. It felt naughty as hell.

He called me Daddy during sex, and I let a "son" or two slip out. That both worked us up big time, and it was clear my relation to Travis was in the back of our minds. It was still in the back of my mind when I met Travis later on for dinner. He didn't ask me about Mike and I wondered if he knew. But he had a knowing look about something.

Summer came, and the work travel slowed. I followed my son on OnlyFans as he went to Barcelona and Fire Island. He was bottoming more now, and he seemed to be with older men more. Daddy types. CornfedDaddy made a regular appearance when he was back in Chicago, and I half wondered if they were dating.

Travis was out of town the next time I went to Chicago for work, but MusclePup Mike was there. I had him over to my hotel after dinner and he stayed over the night. We went at it deep with the dad-son thing. I knew it was wrong, but I was SO turned on doing it. And it thrilled Mike, too. The more I was "Dad" for him the more eagerly he bounced on my cock.

"You're incredible," I said to him the next morning as I brought him a coffee from the hotel lobby. I'd gotten showered and dressed for my morning meeting.

Mike had buzzed-short hair and looked adorable first thing in the morning. "You're not getting feeling for me are you, Mr. Connors?" He'd taken to calling me by my last name. I let him.

I shook my head. "No. Just living out a midlife crisis, I suppose."

That made him break out in a goofy grin. Mike was short, 5'7" or so, and his compact build looked all bulked up with his brawn. "Well, lucky for you that midlife crises are my speciality," he grinned, leaning forward and unzipping my suit trousers.

I set down my coffee and felt the silky soft mouth go down on me. For all our time together, Mike had never sucked me to completion. He was going to now. I gently ran my fingers through his hair as he worked me more eagerly and got me to the finish line. I came hard down his throat and was grateful that that made bottoms as hot as MusclePup Mike.

"That gonna last you today, Daddy?" he asked with a lewd smile.

"It should," I replied, meeting him for a soft kiss and tasting my own cum on his lips.

***

Travis bought his condo. Lakeview, modern, amazing 1 bed room. He was proud and happy and clearly eager to show it off to me. The furnishing was still sparse and Travis talked a mile a minute about his plans for decorating the place and making it feel like home.

He walked me over to the window and described how his view was protected because of the park across the street. I patted his shoulder.

"It's an amazing place, son," I said. "You did well."

Travis kind of leaned into me some, and I saw a look in his eye. Gone was the confident assured porn star. There was my son, questioning me. I knew then that Mike had told him stuff. And I knew what was on Travis's mind.

"You know," I said. "I lied to you before. I've watched your videos. All of them."

That made my son smile. There was the confident sex machine coming to life. "Yeah, what did you think?" his voice had almost a gravely sound and I knew he was turned on.

"They were the hottest goddamn thing I've ever seen in my life," I hissed.

Our lips met. Soft at first, then hard charging. We'd built up too much lust to take it easy. Travis's hands were unbuttoning my dress shirt and I was tugging at the hem of hit T.

"Fuck... we gonna do this, Dad?" he growled with lust.

"If we don't I'll have the worst blue balls in the world," I replied.

This was so wrong, and that forbidden nature fueled our excitement. We stepped back and stripped for each other. Then Travis took my hand and led me to his bedroom.

"You're gonna be the first guy to fuck me here," he said naughtily. Our naked bodies clung to one another on the bed, father cock against son cock, as we made out. Travis scooted from my grip and fumbled for some lube. I equally fumbled prepping myself and getting in place. The fuck was rushed, too rushed. I came within a minute of entry and my son didn't seem to do better.

But we lay on the bed side by side, holding hands and grinning at each other. Cocks still hard. My first load inside my son, his streaming and liquefying on his chest.

"I can't believe I just fucked JakeTheJock," I joked, and Travis laughed.

"Would you ever consider doing that on camera?" he asked.

That shocked me, but Travis added, "You could wear a mask, no one would know it was you, Dad. Think about it. It would be hot as fuck."

I would think about it. That was the crazy thing. My son had a way of upending my world.

But for now, I didn't want any cameras or onlookers. I just wanted it to be me and Trav. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand. Then he climbed on top of my naked body and kissed me deeply as he bucked his slick ass against my boner. My hands possessively felt up his gym-perfected body and decided I was going to get in real shape myself.

For now, Travis seemed into me, into my dad bod, into fucking around with his actual father. I felt him shift angle and my rigid shaft entered a now more pliable, open hole as my son sank down on me.

I had an hour before I had to go get ready for my meeting, and I was going to make the most of it.

[agentstovring]

Play the (Summer) Game

Title: Play the (Summer) Game

Pairing: Spencer/Tommy (Smosh)

Rating: M for Mature

Notes: I wrote this as a gift for the wonderful @blondeforyou because they've been an invaluable pillar of support as I've finally found my way back to writing.

You can also find this on Ao3

...

Spencer has no idea how long they’ve been sitting there. His phone ran out of juice at least two hours ago, so he can’t check the time, and Tommy’s phone is currently sitting in a bowl of rice back at the beach house. Between the beach and the pool, someone had to drop their phone in the water. He wonders for the umpteenth time why someone would bother building a pool for a beachfront property; but it was damn convenient for Smosh, so he can’t complain.

After all, what would Summer Games be without the bellyflop competition? It’d be pretty tough doing bellyflops into the ocean; if they hadn’t found that house, they would have had to shoot the games somewhere else, and they would have missed out on all the beach activities they added. The sandcastle competition; playing volleyball with a person-sized beach ball; the ice-cream scoop on a spoon race; he couldn’t wait to see the footage.

Also, more pertinently, if they hadn’t shot the games right by the beach, this potentially life altering moment might not have been so aesthetic.

The beach stretches out for miles on either side of the lifeguard tower, and the ocean is impossibly endless in front of them. They’re both sitting on the deck, leaning back against the pastel blue structure, squinting in the low light. The mild ocean breeze is soothing; it’s late summer in California and they’ve been filming in the scorching heat all day. Spencer inhales deeply, smelling their warm skin, a hint of sunscreen, and lukewarm hard cider from the half empty cans between them, courtesy of one of their sponsors.

As the sun is slowly setting into the water, they’re bathed in orange light, and he’s scared to look at Tommy for several reasons. One, because Tommy might simply be too beautiful in this light, and Spencer is already in too deep; and two, because neither of them has said anything in a while.

He’s building up the courage to speak as he watches a small group of sandpipers running back and forth alternately following the lapping waves and escaping them. One of them, smaller than the others, gets too brave and gives a startled jump when a splash of water grazes its tailfeathers.

“How long have you known?” Tommy asks finally, still looking straight ahead.

“That I’m bi? Or that I’m in love with you.”

Tommy sighs. He sounds tired but not upset. “I guess we’ll do them in order. When did you realize that you like guys? I’m kind of hoping it was earlier today, since you haven’t told me about it.”

“That’s-“

“That’s not fair, I know, I’m sorry.”

Spencer picks up a cider can and turns it in his hands. “I didn’t tell anyone. I thought about telling Courtney, but I didn’t know what to say. ‘I think I’m bi, help’?”

“That would be a start.”

“I wasn’t sure; and the conversation that would have to happen for me to be sure would involve telling her that I like you.”

Tommy shifts, rolling his shoulder until it gives a satisfying pop. The wooden deck is not exactly ergonomic, but something tells Spencer that the conversation will end permanently once they leave this spot. If he doesn’t get it all out now, he might never get the chance again.

“You could have just told her - or me - that you like guys,” Tommy says.

“I’m not a good liar.”

“Saying you like guys is a lie?”

“I only like you. And women.”

Tommy huffs out a laugh. “Women in general, and me. I’m gonna try real hard not to wonder what that says about me.”

“That you’re special?”

“Which brings us to the second question,” Tommy says, evading the compliment. “How long have you known that you- about me?”

“Since you and Kevin broke up and it made me really happy.”

Tommy snorts, breaking into giggles as he facepalms. “Oh my god, you suck so much..”

“It started way before then, but that’s when I realized; before that I didn’t know what I was feeling. I thought it was just.. I don’t know, confusing friend feelings. I’ve never liked a guy before, what was I supposed to think?”

Tommy looks up, frowning. “You’ve been in love before though.”

“Not like this. Never like this.”

Tommy’s face does something complicated, like he is physically unable to process just how serious Spencer is about this. Even on his best days, Tommy can be pretty insecure; when someone compliments him, his standard response is surprise or denial; an earnest declaration of love is probably breaking his brain a little.

“I’m sorry.”

Tommy frowns. “For what?”

“For not telling you sooner, or maybe for telling you at all. For feeling this way, I guess, I know I’m putting a lot on you.”

“You’re not- I mean, yes, you’re putting a lot on me, because we’re somehow finding ourselves in a situation where I have to be the responsible one. But don’t apologize for telling me, and definitely don’t be sorry for how you feel.”

The tab on the cider can finally gives in to Spencer’s continuous wiggling and pops off with a metallic ting. He put it in his pocket, setting the can aside. His brain catches up to Tommy’s words.

“What do you mean you have to be the responsible one?”

“Well, we can just rush into this; even if we weren’t coworkers, we’re friends, and that’s complicated enough.”

Spencer’s heart thumps harder in his chest and, as much as he tries to fight it, he can’t help but smile a little, soft and disbelieving. “You like me back?”

Tommy sighs, refusing to look at him. “No, no ‘back’; I like you; you think you like me. You don’t know for sure. No offense, I’m not trying to invalidate what you think you feel, but you can’t know for sure. If you’d had even one crush on a guy before-”

“Tommy.”

Tommy sighs again. This time he turns to Spencer, looking tortured. “If I believe you and we do this, and it turns out it really was confused friend feelings this whole time, where would that leave us?”

“With the same homoerotic friendship we’ve always had. Purer, if you think about it, because we’ll have explored all options and made an informed decision.”

Tommy narrows his eyes at him, smirking in mock derision. “You wanna get in my pants so bad, you’ll say anything.”

Spencer swallows. “Is it working?”

Tommy just looks at him for a moment, face unchanging. The seconds tick by. Finally, he picks up the cider cans and sets them both aside. He scoots closer until his arm brushes Spencer’s, and when he looks up their faces are inches apart.

“I need you to use your excellent communications skills,” Tommy says, voice lower now that they’re close. He leans in slowly. “I need you to tell me exactly what you feel, as you’re feeling it, so I can respond appropriately.”

Spencer leans in as well, blood rushing in his ears. “I’m taking mental notes. I’m gonna make you a.. PowerPoint presentation.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” Tommy murmurs, closing the distance between them.

Tommy’s lips are soft and Spencer almost whines as he pulls away too quickly, having barely given Spencer a taste. Tommy snickers, sensing his frustration, and leans in again, placing a light hand on Spencer’s thigh. He lets the second kiss last as long as Spencer wants, pressing his mouth firmer against his. He makes a scandalized noise when Spencer slips him the tongue but gives in all the same.

His hand feels like it’s burning through Spencer’s shorts and Spencer moans softly into the kiss when Tommy tightens the grip slightly, getting carried away. When he finally pulls back to catch his breath, he doesn’t go far. He feels as dazed as Tommy looks, and he’s not ready for this to end.

Clearing his throat, he says, “I really don’t think it’s friend feelings.”

Tommy laughs, shaking his head. “I’m starting to believe you.”

“I’m a good kisser, right?”

“Very good kisser, very convincing. There’s also that,” he adds, glancing at Spencer’s crotch where the tropical print of his shorts is slightly distorted by his obvious erection.

Spencer blushes, grateful that the sunset has turned red enough to mostly hide it. “Well, what do you want from me? I’m out here being felt up like a prom queen-”

“Good lord..”

“-and I bet you..” He falters, suddenly more nervous than he even was before he confessed. “Are you..? I mean, you liked it, right?”

Tommy’s expression turns impossibly fond at Spencer’s sudden loss of confidence, and he gently takes Spencer by the wrist, holding it loosely enough that he can pull away easily. He maintains eye contact as he guides Spencer’s hand to his crotch. Spencer’s gaze flickers down and he inhales sharply at the feeling of Tommy’s dick hard against his palm. Tommy lets go of his wrist, but he doesn’t pull his hand away; instead, he gives the hardness a slight, experimental squeeze.

“God,” Tommy sputters, pushing Spencer’s hand away even as his hips involuntarily roll to chase the touch. “Now who’s the prom queen?”

“Sorry,” Spencer chews on his lip, eyes switching back and forth between Tommy’s blown pupils and the bulge in his pants. “Can I see it?”

Tommy stares at him incredulously. “I’m genuinely afraid of what you’ll do to it, if I show you.”

“Okay, it’s not like I’d do anything weird, I just wanna see it.”

“I know you too well, you see with your hands.”

When Spencer is unable to defend himself, Tommy chuckles, leaning in to give him an appeasing kiss. “I’m not saying I don’t want to; I’m in fact showing great restraint right now.”

Spencer pouts a little. He’s too keyed up to be ashamed of his own behavior. Tommy laughs, shoving him. “Don’t pout! Do you really want your first mess-around with a guy to be here, like this?”

“On a secluded beach, in the light of a beautiful sunset? You’re right, that sounds terrible.”

Tommy laughs again and shakes his head, then turns to squints at the sunset. “It’s almost over; it’s gonna get really dark soon, and neither of us have working phones.”

“Yeah, we should probably head back,” Spencer agrees, hating the reality of it. He shoots Tommy a hopeful look. “One more for the road?”

“One more.. cock squeeze?”

“A kiss, jesus! If you wanna be a gentleman so bad, at least assume I’m gonna be a lady.”

Tommy pulls him in, clearly intent on making it count. He grazes Spencer’s bottom lip with his teeth, pulling a breathy moan from him that gives him goosebumps. He could get drunk off those moans. He thinks he might actually lose his mind when Spencer’s hand slides up his thigh, not going any further, just resting there in a clear attempt to test his resolve.

He responds by breaking the kiss and, before Spencer can protest, pressing his lips to Spencer’s neck instead. He gives it a small lick, tasting salt, and Spencer whimpers right next to his ear. He doesn’t want to leave a mark, but at the same time, he wants to eat Spencer alive. It would be so easy to push Spencer down and give him what he wants, what they both want; and he allows the thought to marinate for just a second before-

“Spencer! Tommy!” The voices are far away but coming closer with every new shout of their names. Tommy sits up straight, listening. Spencer gasps slightly at the interruption and seems disoriented, but then he hears them too.

“Tommy!” It’s Courtney.

“Spencer!” And Shayne.

Tommy groans, kissing Spencer once more, quickly. “We’ve been declared missing.”

“Damn it,” Spencer sighs, adjusting himself in his pants before getting on his feet. His lower back hurts from sitting on a hard surface for so long, and he’s secretly glad Tommy refused to take things further, lest they both suffer permanent injuries.

They quickly descend the ramp leading down into the sand, waving at their approaching friends. Courtney is jogging towards them, smiling now that she’s spotted them. Shayne trails behind, struggling to keep up. The flashlights from their phones sweep across the sand.

Tommy takes a deep breath, hoping he doesn’t look as horny and disheveled as he feels. “Here!” he calls out redundantly, reaching for Spencer once more. He squeezes his hand comfortingly and doesn’t let go as the other get closer. Spencer smiles and squeezes back. //

[thirtecnth]

(Courtney Eaton) THE HIGH PRIESTESS. Please welcome LILITH BLAIR (SHE/HER) to Huntsville, WV. They are a 24-year-old RESIDENT who lives in the COMMUNE. You may see them around working as a SEAMSTRESS / PSYCHIC. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive.

( *tw - suicide, mental illness, depression, general gore)

GENERAL

FULL NAME: Lilith Ophelia Blair NICKNAMES: Lily, Lilibet AGE: 24 years old DATE OF BIRTH: April 15th SEXUALITY: Pansexual STATUS: Gatherer

APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 5′ 10″ HAIR: Black EYE COLOR: Brown

BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Huntsville, West Virginia INCOME STATUS: Lower Class FATHER: Maxwell Blair (deceased) MOTHER: Florence Blair (deceased) AUNT: Beatrice Goode (deceased) SIBLINGS: Lara Blair (deceased) SIGNIFICANT OTHER: N/A HOBBIES: Tarot, Herbology, Art, Poetry, Archery, Design, Sowing

TRAITS

[+] Empathetic, Imaginative, Intuitive [-] Moody, Blunt, Morbid

STORY POINTS

Lilith was born in a happy and healthy home. She was the first of two daughters and was over the moon when she learned she would be a big sister.

Both of her parents worked tirelessly to make ends meet, so she was often left to watch her baby sister, Lara, but Lilith didn't ever mind. She was always such a bright and happy little girl; always prepared to help where she could.

Her Aunt Beatrice often came to visit them and that was when Lilith got her first taste of Magick. From the age of 7, she was learning about crystals, herbs, oils, and tarot.

She also picked up a love of drawing, art, and sowing after her art teacher had seen such amazing promise in her pieces. She had even invited her to private lessons in the school.

Such a bright student had a lot of promise ahead of her and surely, she would have continued to do well, but then the storm happened.

In the first few days, she lost her parents. They were torn apart as Lilith covered her sister's eyes. However, her aunt had been there on one of her bi-monthly trips. She saved them and quickly became their guardian.

It stayed that way for years. Lilith was only 13 and while her aunt got stranger and more erratic in her behavior, it was better than having no family at all... And in that time, she worked even more on her magick studies.

At the age of 17, her aunt just walked right out the door. Lilith had been studying upstairs and she heard the screams of her little sister calling out for her. She did as she always did-- she covered her little sister's eyes.

Lilith took on guardianship herself and they quickly found themselves at the commune. They had nowhere else to go.

It was hard, but they had one another. She ended up continuing her hobby of sowing to make them the latest fashions. Turns out she had quite the talent for it as her sister just kept asking for new pieces.

Though it wasn't to last, her sister was the last to go when she turned 21. Lilith had spent the night at the bar for her birthday. It wasn't supposed to be anything huge. When she returned the next day, she found her sister in pieces. That day she still covered her sister’s eyes for the last time as she closed them.

Desperate to communicate with her after that, she began to use tarot and an ouija board. She wasn't sure what she was letting in and she almost didn't really care.

From then on, she began reading for others to help them with their losses. It wasn't the greatest for her mental health, but she honestly didn't really care anymore. At least she could be a help to others.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

1. Childhood Friends: She's been in town her whole life and has definitely had quite the change in character. They could still have a relationship with her or just feel bad for what she's become.

2. Clients: This could be of the clothes variety or the reading variety. She's definitely there for anyone that wants to try to speak to their loved one or just get something new to wear.

3. Ex: She was probably with them that night at the bar or convinced them to just let loose for the night. They're definitely not together anymore, but maybe that's not what they actually want...

4. Best Friend: Has stuck with them through thick and thin. There's no way they would let her go completely into the darkness. They would never allow it.

5. Parental Figures: She desperately needs parental figures in her life to ground her and guide her. She lost it so early that she doesn't really remember what it was like to be taken care of and watched over.

…More to come, I’m sure!

[boricuacherry-blog]

Stone Temple Pilot and Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland discussed in his book, Not Dead & Not for Sale, a particular incident that happened when he was 12, years before he started down the path of music and addiction that would come to define his life.

He recalled a "big muscular guy, a high school senior...[who] rode the bus with me everyday to school...invited me to his house." There, Weiland says he was sexually assaulted in this person's home and then threatened into silence.

"The dude raped me," he said. "It was quick, not pleasant."

Weiland went on to say that not only was he indeed too scared to tell anyone at the time, but that the memory was repressed, only being unearthed during therapy sessions much later in life during one of his many stints in rehab. "Therapy will do that to you," he said.

He also revealed that after an argument with his first wife, Jannina Castaneda, which resulted in Weiland leaping from a moving car to score heroin, he ended up at the Chateau Marmont hotel in Los Angeles with none other than Courtney Love, saying, "She was one of my dealer's best customers."

His marriage to Castaneda would fall apart by the late 90s. Before the divorce was finalized, he began dating former model Mary Forsberg, who he married after a stint in jail. They would have two kids together, Noah and Lucy. But after several domestic-violence incidents involving police - both were arrested at different times; Forsberg once torched $80,000 of his clothes in their driveway, which she documented later in a memoir - the couple divorced in 2007.

That same year, Weiland's younger brother Michael died of cardiomyopathy, a heart issue from drug abuse. After this, Weiland started smoking crack.

"Scott loved his brother," Michael's widow said. "It devastated him. I don't think he ever truly recovered from it." She also says his ex-wife made it hard for him to see his kids.

Speaking of his first time trying heroin, Weiland wrote, "The opiate took me to a place I'd always dreamed of going. I can't name the place, but I can say that I was undisturbed and unafraid, a free-floating man finally free of demons."

The tragedies of his adolescence in the book are laid bare, though he rarely elaborates. While he expresses guilt over his part in failed relationships, he rarely reflects on the lasting damage done to ex-wives, former bandmates, family members, friends, and ultimately, his two children.

But that could possibly be attributed to his addiction, as there is a different tone, a higher level of care and an acute sense of self awareness in his adolescence that is noticeably absent in the rest of the book.

His brother Michael's death seemed to have a foreshadowing effect on Weiland's life, even when he doesn't say so explicitly. Any desire heard in his words to stay off drugs was gone after that. His attempts at meaningful connections are eclipsed by his need to withdraw, as is often the tragedy of the pinnacle of addiction. When he was diagnosed with bipolar, it was much later in life.

On album Shangri La Dee Da, Stone Temple Pilot's last album before their initial breakup, Weiland sings songs about addiction and manic depression, and the songs themselves seem to deliberately embody the fluctuation of addiction. Listening to Bi-Polar Bear or Transmissions from a Lonely Room can feel like hovering near a black hole. Weiland was reportedly sober for the album's recording, describing the process as a kind of restoration of "innocence" which he associated with the band's debut album, 1992's Core.

Right before he died, Weiland was on tour promoting his 2015 album Blaster with his new band, the Wildabouts, after releasing two solo albums, 12 Bar Blues, and its follow up, "Happy" in Galoshes, years earlier.

12 Bar Blues in particular seemed at the time an expansion of Stone Temple Pilots' 1996 album Tiny Music...Songs From the Vatican Gift Shop. It's an odd, cracked looking glass of a rock record. It doesn't particularly resemble grunge in rhythm or composition. They deliberately absorbed the Beatles and glam rock into the design of their songs. The guitar tone is skeletal - narrow and fluorescent, like bone - and Weiland suddenly sings in a higher, more fragile register. His delivery - reptilian yet conversational - was heavily informed by David Bowie.

In 2011, two years before he was kicked out of the Stone Temple Pilots, he was at a small show promoting his Christmas album, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Wrote one critic, he "danced in his old way, a sort of boneless shimmying, but it was muted and weary." He was surrounded by jazz musicians and small constellations of Christmas lights. They gently crept through a strange jazz arrangement of the Stone Temple Pilots song Vasoline.

After reuniting with Stone Temple Pilots again to release a self-titled LP, then being fired from the band for announcing a solo tour of its greatest hits without their blessing, he was back with a new band, the Wildabouts, when guitarist Jeremy Brown died of an overdose. At the same time, Weiland was experiencing episodes of paranoia and mania caused by his bipolar disorder. After a show at Boston's Brighton Music Hall, Weiland hosted a disastrous VIP meet-and-greet session, heckling one fan with "Let's suck a dick!" and insulting others who had paid $150 for the interaction.

"Some girl hit on Scott and he goes, 'You know what? You can go f**ck yourself. Do you have any idea how much I love sucking my wife's pussy?'" recalls his wife, photographer Jamie Wachtel. Weiland later apologized publicly on Facebook for acting like "a total asshole."

That same month, he threatened to twist the nipple of a reporter. "I've never felt more disrespected in an interview and am honestly shaken by the experience," said the journalist in an email to Weiland's publicist.

Jamie had confronted Weiland's bipolar episodes before. "He would be on the couch with a drink, smoking and watching whatever mindless television," she remembers. "I started to see he had paranoia and some of the bipolar stuff started to come out." He kept his curtains closed all the time. "At one point, it was so bad I had to move out because he was unstable." They found one medication that worked, but he gained 40 pounds, so he stopped taking it. Eventually, they found a medication that leveled him out. "For the last couple of years, he was doing pretty great."

Then, on the Wildabouts spring 2015 tour, his behavior became scarily unrecognizable. A video of him singing one of his songs in a painfully off-key rendition went viral. It turned out that his prescribed dosage of the antipsychotic drug Geodon was too high. "I thought he had some rapid-onset version of Parkinson's or something," Jamie said. After an adjustment, the change, she says, "was like night and day." Weiland was regularly taking six prescription drugs, and had hepatitis C, likely contracted from years of intravenous drug use.

When Weiland learned his mother Sharon had progressive cancer, it took him a step back in his progress. Sharon had divorced his father when he was only 2, and part of it was due to Sharon's previous alcohol problem, which was confirmed by his father Kent. Sharon had been sober for 25 years. When she learned that both of her sons were heroin users, it would prompt a slip.

Weiland was on the road touring when wife Jamie says she got a text from him saying, "I'm so in love with my beautiful wife." She tried to call and text him back but got no response. It wasn't like him not to get back to her, especially on a day off.

By the time tour manager Aaron Mohler had gone to check in on Weiland, he had already been dead. He had overdosed on a combination of cocaine, ethanol and methylenedioxyamphetamine (an analog of MDMA). Other significant conditions noted were atherosclerosis, cardiovascular disease, asthma, and multiple-substance dependence. Plus, he was on prescription medications Lunesta, Klonopin, Viagra, Dalmane, Buprenex, and Geodon.

Four days after Weiland's death, his ex-wife Mary Forsberg published a letter in Rolling Stone alleging her ex-husband was an absentee father. She also filed court documents asking to be named executor of his will, alleging that he had $2 million in assets and a trust with an undisclosed amount of funds.

"I don't know under what mattress she thinks she's going to find $2 million, because it sure as shit isn't there," said Jamie. Public records show more than $147,000 in state tax liens on Weiland's property. "He was broke."

A funeral was held at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, a place where Jamie and Scott used to watch movies frequently. Stone Temple Pilots three surviving members were there, but Forsberg and Weiland's two children were not.

"I didn't think it could physically hurt to miss someone, but it does," says Jamie. "I miss him. We all do."

Some interesting genealogy:

Scott was the son of Sharon and Kent Kline. He was adopted by his stepfather, John David Weiland. Scott's paternal grandfather was Paul D. Kline (the son of Peter Kline and Catherine "Katie" Walters). Paul was born in Pennsylvania, of German descent (Kline is a German name). Peter was the son of John Klein and Catherine Hayne. Scott's great-grandmother Catherine "Katie" Walters was the daughter of George Walters and Elizabeth Schneider.

Scott's paternal grandmother was Florence Gilbertson (the daughter of Oskar Vilhelm Aleksander Gulbrandsen, later William Oscar Gilbertson, and of Anna Elise Arnesen). Florence was born in Illinois, to Norweigan parents (it all makes sense now). Oskar was born in Oslo, the son of Ole Martin Gulbrandsen and Gurine Pedersdatter Halvteigen. Anna was also born in Oslo, the daughter of Gulbrand Arnesen and Anna Bergitte/Birgitte Hansen.

Scott's maternal grandfather's surname was Williams.

[shrinkthisviolet]

What do you think each member of the JSA, along with Cindy, Artemis, and Cameron’s favorite DCOM would be?

Courtney: Girl vs Monster (I think she’d admire Skylar’s fearlessness…even when Skylar got her fear back and felt it, she still confronted her enemy!). Runner up is Halloweentown, 1 and 2 (she likes family and legacy stories…even if living in one isn’t always fun. Plus, it was a comfort to her when she was waiting for her dad to come home to them :( poor Courtney)

Yolanda: Freaky Friday (I bet she wanted one with her mom :( I headcanon that they were close before the stuff with Henry happened, and I bet she misses that and wishes her mom could see her for who she is)

Rick: Lemonade Mouth (this poor kid wanted a found family, I’ll bet, and he found one in the JSA! He confessed his love of Lemonade Mouth to them between seasons, so now they have a band as a side hobby)

Beth: Teen Beach Movie (she’s a showtunes kid, you can’t change my mind…plus, she’s all for a romance story with a fantastical twist!)

Cindy: Avalon High (you can’t tell me she didn’t desperately want to be the Mythical Hero deep down). Runner up is Girl vs Monster (I think she also wishes she never had to be afraid of anything)

Artemis: Princess Protection Program (she really liked Carter) and Wizards of Waverly Place + the movies (she really liked Alex). Selena Gomez may have been her bi awakening 😂

Cameron: Descendants (partly for irony, since he doesn’t know he’s also a “Villain Kid,” but also, I think he likes fairytale retellings ever since Courtney introduced them to him)

[ao3feed-timkon]

Future Beyond: Batman: Melody

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/8djeRlO

by Future_Beyond

“The first five years have so much to do with how the next 80 turn out”- Bill Gates

The McGinnis’ (Warren and Mary) world just got shifted on it’s axis. how will the newly married couple deal with not just a baby (created to be a clone of the worlds most vibrant urban myth) but also moving into said Urban Myth’s house? Oh and the Myth just happens to be Warrens’s boss.

Meanwhile Bruce Wayne is a little unnerved with how much these to people act like his mom and dad.

And in the background the Wayne kids create chaos and help their baby brother. Oh wait thi Damian is having an indetity crisis. At least the Fox’s are 0Oooo… nope they are not ok they are fighting…again.

Wow who knew so much could come from such a brilliant plan Amanda Waller!!

So come along for this chaotic ride that updates every Sunday ish

Words: 2, Chapters: 1/250, Language: English

Series: Part 3 of Future Beyond: Batman

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Batman Beyond

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Terry McGinnis, Bruce Wayne, Mary McGinnis, Warren McGinnis, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Darla Dudley, Mary Batson, Billy Batson, Eugene Choi (DCU), Pedro Peña, Duke Thomas, And many many more

Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Other(s), Shazamily Members & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne, Cas and Steph are cousins sorry not sorry, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Batfamily Members & Billy Batson, Darla Dudley & Damian Wayne, Billy Batson/Courtney Whitmore, Warren McGinnis/Mary McGinnis, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Pronouns, Everyone Is Gay, Families of Choice, Unconventional Families, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, B+ I’d let him adopt me, the batfamily is trying, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily (DCU) Feels, some violence, Some Humor, Family Dynamics, bi tim drake, BI DICK GRAYSON, Demiboy Dick Grayson, Demiboy Duke Thomas, I turned off my brain and made everyone queer, Bisexual Selina Kyle, Pan Damian Wayne

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/8djeRlO

[girlfrommars28]

This is a new version of my TD characters sexualities bc I rewatched it and I changed my mind on a couple of things

Chris is the embodiment of being gay and homophobic

Chef is gay

Beth is straight in my opinion, I know I said she was my pan child but I rewatched the show and she just doesn’t give me that vibe + I don’t like her that much anymore so... yeah

DJ is still my gay child, I’ll do everything for him and his two mums; TDWT did him dirty

Gwen is still the goth bisexual queen; for my own sake I’ll ignore what the writers did with her and act like the kiss never happened and you should do the same; her and Duncan should’ve remained friends, case closed drive safely 

Geoff is giving me bisexual vibes

Lindsay is either bi or pan, but I’ll go with pan; she was robbed, I’m telling you, ROBBED

I’d say that Heather is a lesbian, but since aleheather is my ride or die ship, I’ll say that she’s bi

Duncan is just giving me bi vibes, maybe bi with a preferance for women, but bi nonetheless

Tyler is a chaotic bisexual; just watch his first interaction with Alejandro and you’ll understand

I see Harold as straight, but I could be wrong

Trent is my bi child; they did him dirty in TDA, he deserved so much better

Bridgette is pan; she is my second favourite character and I’ll not argue on that; this girl was robbed, I’m still mad about it

Noah remains our sarcastic gay pal, he’s probably ace as well and most likely in a relationship with Owen

I want to say that Leshawna is a lesbian but I’ll say she’s bi; I love her and her elimination in TDI was stupid

Sadie and Katie are lesbian girlfriends, try to change my mind

Ezekiel is aroace, I don’t have an explanation for that, he just is

Cody is a bisexual king, I also see him as a trans boy

Eva is a raging lesbian, she has a special place in my heart

Owen is our chaotic bisexual king but we all know that; it was made very clear from the first episode

Courtney is yet another chaotic bisexual; I can see her and Gwen getting together after the show

I think Justin is aroace

Izzy is pan in my opinion

Alejandro is just really bisexual, you can argue with the wall

Sierra is bi with a preferance for men (Cody)

Jo is our hardcore butch lesbian; I’m pretty sure I had a crush on her when I watched TD as a child, should’ve told me something sooner 

Scott is ace and maybe bi but with a preferance for women

Zoey is a chaotic pansexual queen, she is my child, even though I feel like putting my hands around her neck ever so often for some of the stupid stuff she does but anyway

Mike is most likely bi with a preferance for women; as for his alters, Vito is a pansexual mess, Svetlana is a raging lesbian, Mal is a they/them aroace brat, Chester is just... Chester and I don’t even know what to say about Manitoba Smith so...

Lightning is so gay, he’s most definitely best friends with Jo bc lesbian/jock solidarity; he probably takes Jo to buy clothes and gives her fashion advice; I mean, just look at him, this guy has a super bowl champion father and trophy wife mother, you can NOT tell me that he doesn’t dress well and take care of himself religiously 

Brick is yet another gay man; and a bottom

B is aroace, maybe even a trans man

Dawn is my favourite character from the whole thing so I’m probably projecting this but she is unlabeled, but if it would be to put a label on herself it would probably be pansexual, cuz she doesn’t give a frick about gender, she just loves

Dakota is bi with a preferance for men

Anne Maria is either really bi or really straight, no in between

Staci is probably straight but idk

Cameron is my aroace child

Sam is giving me bisexual vibes

I won’t do the whole Pakitew Island cast bc I haven’t rewatched it and I’m not really planning on it but I do have some opinions about some of the characters so...

Scarlett is a raging lesbian

Topher is gay

Jasmine is bi and so is Shawn

I like to say that Max is aroace, maybe a they/them or he/they as well but idk

Samey is a chaotic bisexual, lesbian could also work

Ella is yet another lesbian, she could also be bi but I’m going with lesbian

Special mentions to Brody who I personally see as pan and also in a poly relationship with Geoff and Bridgette

and also, Josee is a lesbian

[theenbynightingale]

Rating Total Drama ships that showed up when playing with the generator! (Pt. 17)

Did you miss me? No? TOO BAD!

Alejandro and Duncan (or AleDuncan): So after Gwen got eliminated in World Tour and that god awful story line ended, Duncan was shifted to being the new archrival (who wasn’t Heather) to Alejandro and they had some pretty fun interactions. Like Aleheather, it was a case of knowing both were very manipulative and them trying to one up each other while still having a slight twinge of respect. Not as good as Aleheather, but still interesting. Rating: 7.5/10

Bridgette and Noah (or Broah): Remember in World Tour when Noah started hugging on Bridgette? Most people don’t because they’re afraid to head canon Noah as bi/pan/other for some reason. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. This is dumb. Their only interaction I can remember was her writing him off as a creep. Rating: 3/10

Brick and Rock (or Brock): Love that name but the ship? I guess, opposites attract. One’s a basement dweller and the other is large and charge. Would it work? Who’s to say? But I’d rather Rock get with Brick than with Taylor. Rating: 6/10

Dave and MacArthur (or DaveArthur): Not a fan. Like at all. MacArthur is somehow much less toxic than Dave was and I get the feeling that Mr. Clean over here would be kind of grossed out by her. But she’d put him in his place and maybe give him some perspective so. Rating: 4/10

Gwen and MacArthur (or GwenArthur): Not a fan of this one also. But Gwen slowly tries to open herself up to people once she actually gets to know people so, even if she didn’t like MacArthur at first, they’d either start to form a dynamic or become enemies. Knowing them, there’s no in between. Rating: 5/10

Gwen and Owen (or Gwoen): No but they have an underrated friendship. They’re a lot of fun together and it’s not surprising they ended up as the first pair of finalists. Also, I know Owen has mentioned being attracted to Gwen but like... Who wouldn’t be? Rating: 4.5/10

Jay and Beth (or Jeth): This could seem too obvious but I also feel like they’d bond with each other pretty easily. Maybe not a main ship but one that would develop in the background. It’d be cute without taking up too much screen time. Rating: 6.5/10

Jo and Stephanie (or Jophanie): This is interesting because I don’t know whether they’d vibe with each other or become mortal enemies. Or both, it’s entirely possible. Oh, shit... ENEMIES TO LOVERS! Ok, this got extra points for that. Rating; 7/10

Leshawna and Noah (or Lenoah): She’d purposely snap him in half without even trying. And you know what? That shit probably had it coming. Rating: 3/10

Rodney and Anne Maria (or Rodanne): Again, I find it hard to ship almost anyone with Rodney since he has that weird “I’m attracted to this girl so I’m convinced we’re dating now” thing going on. I can see him getting attracted to Anne Maria (can ya blame him) but I’d rather ship him with professional help. Rating: 4/10

Rodney and Courtney (or RodCourt, cuz there’s no other way to combine their names): Again, it’s easy to see him becoming a Courtney simp (again, can ya blame him) but rather then being a one-off joke, she would definitely use it to her advantage. It’d be interesting to see at that level but absolutely shouldn’t go further than that. Rating: 4/10

Ryan and Sanders (or Ryders): Easy to see them together but they could also be a little too vanilla together. Putting the two straight men together could be a bit of a boring story. Besides, I’m Team Sanders/MacArthur. Rating: 5.5/10

Ryan and DJ (or RyJ): Another one that would be easy to see happening but probably more interesting. We all know DJ’s not afraid to let his gentle side out and I think he could definitely help Ryan with that. Just these two gentle giants. That’s nice. Rating: 8/10

Stephanie and Duncan (or Stephuncan): This would make him appreciate Courtney so much more. He’d be begging on his knees (shout out to Victoria Justice) for her to take him back. I like Stephanie and I think she’s funny but she’s also scary as fuck. Rating: 3/10

Sugar and Sierra (or Sugerra): No because I just hate Sugar and I’ve only recently warmed up to Sierra but the idea of her watching those weird commercials Kid Sugar was in at a young age and falling in love is pretty funny on paper. As a one off gag. And nothing more. SERIOUSLY THESE TWO WOULD BE REALLY FUCKING DISTURBING TOGETHER- Rating: 3/10

[zaritarazi]

Amazing of stargirl to handle how heroes deal with necessary killing with such nuance but also it is a metaphor for being gay. I'm pretty sure that Yolanda's mom and her priest just think she's gay not that she killed someone, why else would her mom say court corrupted her??? checkmate DC it's gay

like to repeat here what i said on twitter i have really never seen a piece of specifically cape media talk about the concept we as consumers of said media are very aware of which is like, in order for heroes to remain these bright beacons of hope and truth there are people like a john constantine or a frank castle, just the examples that came to my mind when tweeting, who have to do horrible things to horrible people.

and it's not that they're doing it because they're being asked to per se i mean we could argue that just based on how heroism works on a societal level they're technically being "asked" to but like. they literally do it because they love people so much that they don't want them to even think about asking. they want to keep that reality hidden. like how much and how deeply do you love that you will take that kind of shit because seeing someone like a superman as much as you grumble and complain about you does, truly, make you happy

and also i'm jewish so while i'm aware that sometimes these can lean into being Jesus Metaphors that's also not really a lens i view fiction with bc i didn't grow up with ANY bible stories whatsoever and also, i will say in fiction characters that are supposed to be christ-like are actually always the really really good and pure characters where if you look at christ as a jewish person simply as a rabbi that's not true to his character at all but that's where i'm coming from

and so what becomes frustrating for me here is like, we might get confirmation from the actresses that they played courtney and yolanda in this episode romantically and that would be fantastic and we can obviously read it as such but because of the way cape media still is we as gay people are not going to be entitled to that same level of connection with a character, specifically yolanda's struggle is not just the sin of murder but also the sin of homosexuality and henry, specifically, works perfectly to taunt yolanda as a way to emphasize both those points.

like in the split second when it came down to in in the house of the catholic god yolanda picked courtney. immediately. she picked a woman over her god. and how the fuck are we supposed to read that as ONLY being about murder when we know how restrictive and terrible yolanda's parents are? when eclipso-generated brainwave talks to her about how much she hates herself? these are things that i would argue are MEANT to pique the attention of gay viewers.

and no that doesn't make it queerbaiting that's not how the force works etc but what it does do is basically take every step of creating a gay narrative and then not take the final step and again, that's not to bait people, there's a lot of reasons behind the scenes that this could happen, maybe we even have a maisie situation where they're actively trying to make something happen and are getting shot down, but this is geoff johns show so i kind of doubt it.

that being said geoff if you want to prove me wrong tim drake is bi now anything is possible please feel free to go full gay and then i will look like such a big dummy isn't that what you want. isn't that what you need? do it. do it. do it coward

[fandomqueen6754]

Okay, I'm going to be honest(Spoilers)

This season sucked.

13 Good things

1. Gay Alex

2. Zalex kiss, boating, breaking windows, saying I love you, etc.

3. Alex/Winston

4. Tyler being a cutie

5. The tape characters coming back in the last episode and them burying the tapes

6. The Standall family

7. Alex/Charlie getting prom kings(Even though I don't like them as a couple)

8. Zach studying music

9. Estela

10. The Alex/Winston scene outside of Monet's

11. Showing the riot over racist cops

12. Ryan flirting with Winston and Courtney teasing him about it

13. Zach saying he enjoyed the kiss

13 Bad things

1. Clay

2. Ani (Though not as much as last season)

3. The redemption arc of Monty

4. What happened to Justin

5. Clay meddling and telling things that weren't his to tell(*cough* Winston *cough*)

6. Clay breaking Alex's heart by telling him about Winston

7. Charlie and Alex. I really just didn't like them. They were a super cute couple, just really forced. It was basically like they needed a reason for Charlie to be there so they said let's have him have a crush on Alex and it work out

8. Clay being a worse narrator than Ani

9. No Zalex Endgame(Disappointed but not surprised)

10. Ani basically outing Alex

11. Clay doing all the things that were causing him anxiety

12. Tony not trusting Tyler

13. Diego

13 things I want to mention

1. I really liked Charlie as a character, but at the time, he called Tony a f*g seemingly before he knew he was bi (Could be wrong on timing there but idk)

2. You guys don't realize how much I missed Peter Standall last season so I am being fed

3. This one is a question, but do we ever learn what Alex is studying at college?

4. Zach not freaking out about the kiss and being sweet and telling Alex gently he didn't like guys and them being able to joke about it later.

5. Zach saving Alex...multiple times

6. Some appreciation for the only blue lives that matter: Sheriff Diaz and Deputy Bill Standall (Who also gets best parent award along with his incredible wife, Carolyn)

7. The scene between Zach and Winston

8. Scott fucking Reed showed up and I'm very happy!

9. Charlie and his cookies

10. Tony wanting to be better than Charlie and Alex, but also being proud of them

11. No one caring about Zach, like wtf

12. Also Zach playing Tiny Dancer by Elton John was beautiful and you can't tell me he didn't learn that song from Alex

13. Winston loving Alex

[alenoah]

Gen 1 LGBT Headcanons

Alright I’m on desktop mode so I can put a Read More on this so I can go in-depth where I want to. Not including the entire cast, just the contestants that I think are El Gee Bee Tee. So don’t ask where X person is bc I think they're cishet :|

Alejandro: pan and a trans man.

Courtney: bisexual and primarily attracted to men.

Cody: I diagnose you with transgender

DJ: Biromantic Asexual :) he has so much love in his heart and I think growing up in a loving household with his two mommas helped him learn who he is very early in life.

Duncan: gonna get hash tag cancelled for this one but he’s agender and doesn’t know how that relates to his sexuality. give me the agender internalized transphobia Duncan angst. give it to me. give me-

Izzy: genderflux and honestly she doesn’t even use a label for her sexuality because there’s so much to unpack. give me Izzy and Duncan bonding over gender and sexual identity label confusion and frustration. give it to me.

Harold: is trans and heterosexual

Heather: not open At All about how she feels because she thought she was a lesbian but then Alejandro happened and it’s. A whole ordeal.

Owen: bi canonically :)

Lindsay: once she learned that she could be glittergender there was no stopping her.

Trent: nonbinary and bi

Tyler: he’s also bi but he’s way too stupid to realize it. I love him so much for it

Noah: little fruit basket lol

Leshawna: in the house. no but fr she’s a big lesbian

Eva: lesbian as well.

Ezekiel: “what’s gender, eh?”

[wolfhowlingdragonflyingsirensong]

spoilers

Since I recently played Life is Strange, which whoah, is totally an experience that I recommend to everyone, I’ve come to appreciate how well the game handles choices. It’s interesting how choices can seem meaningless good acts, like helping Alyssa avoid being hit, translates to her trusting Max enough for Max to save her. But, the game also points out how we can’t control consequences, since good deeds are done with nothing but good intentions can have fatal consequences, such as warning Victoria (and her believing you) leads to her murder, or the biggest good deed of them all, saving Chloe, leads to a storm that (can) kill lots of people. And ultimately, what’s cool is that every choice is canon, since Max it’s not a blank slate, meaning every choice the player makes is something Max considered. What do I mean with Max not being a blank slate? I mean regardless of your choices, Max likes waffles AND bacon and eggs. This is a minor example, but it serves for many things. Max can comfort Victoria or not, and later when they talk at the party regardless of your choice, Max at first is pretty angry, so she’s completely capable of standing up for herself and others. Max loves Chloe regardless of the player's feelings towards her. Max can be pretty uncaring or a literal angel, by Kate. And all of this is canon because even nice people contemplate not being nice all the time, even if it’s only a thought. This brings me to the ships topics. First of all, I’m glad that this game has non-ambiguous, non-sexualized, soft wlw romance (actually two counting BTS!) without the canon protagonist being turned evil or something, and I think that’s incredibly important. If the game had only Chloe as a love interest, I would totally get it and have no problem,  because the game is pretty much focused on their bond. Not that it matters to those who do, I personally don't ship it because I self-project (and I totally recognize it) on friendships I had in my youth that were a bit like Chloe and Max's friendship in the first episodes, and they were toxic. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends and they were (are) good people. I like Chloe a lot, and there's no denying that there are strong feelings on Max's part for Chloe that are romantic, and it's up to the player to determine if Max is going to pursue Chloe. Denying it means that is both not reading Max's diary and erasing her sexuality. I write this because I don't want to seem like I don't ship them because I like Grahamfield, it's not that, I could very well be into both, and I think Chloe develops so much at the end of episode 5 that, while before I thought she was only in love with Rachel, at that point is totally understandable for me. If you ship Pricefield then that's awesome! You have all the canon content to back you up and a beautiful story of love with the childhood friends-to-lovers trope, can't get much better. Plus, the whole game is about their bond. It's incredibly well developed at the end mostly when you see Chloe growing out of her initial angry phase, and maturing in a beautiful way. So, shipping Grahamfield in this fandom sometimes feels like hey, you are a giant dick. I don't like hate on any ship or character (especially dunking on Chloe, because she's a representation of how trauma is not nice while actually being cool and kind, as well as being one of the few wlw canon protagonists), because both choices are completely canon, it's entirely up to the player. Again, if Chloe was the only canon love interest then that would be totally cool. Buuuut Max can choose to go on a date with Warren, write on his slate that he is cute, raise his grade (which can be done as a friendship thing only), help him in his experiment, kiss him, and if she does, she writes in his diary "I wanted one kiss from a boy I cared about", that to me, reads as having a canon interest in him too. And since Max is bisexual from what I understand, erasing that part doesn't sit well with me. Both Chloe and Warren have flaws, which hey is what happens with characters. Can you imagine having perfect characters? That would be so boring. He is a realistic 16-year-old boy to Max's 18 and Chloe's 19 years. He is extremely awkward, dorky, a little cringy, a boy with a harmless boy with a crush and that's normal at that age. He's helpful almost to a fault, and while some argue that's because he feels entitled, let me tell you, no niceGuy I've ever met has been so helpful if you don't give in, they don't back out after someone lets them down nicely, and he states his interest in Max clearly, and niceGuys don't tend to do that because they like to pine away and be angry that a girl didn't read his mind and magically fell in love with him. He believes Max from the get-go and helps her all the time, regardless of his feelings, which is like, basic decency, so if you want to call him a piece of shit I think that's going a little too far. If you want to take the words of others, Kate says he's a smart and silly cutie-pie with a good heart, suggests they take him with them to their tea-shop tour of Portland after everything and supports their date (besides them being friends, he brings her homework and is shown worried about her). I don't remember that part well, but I think Alyssa and Dana also support Grahamfield (and Brooke is very jealous!) so I think if he was an asshole they wouldn't be so supportive and Brooke wouldn't be into him, or Stella in another reality. My only point is that hey if you don't like him that's fine, but to call him a pervert or entitled or assholery is kinda uncalled for, to be honest, and using the nightmare sequence, in which EVERYONE is out of character (except Jeffershit) and shown being assholes, as a canon that he is bad seems to me like going out of your way. It's a nightmare for a reason, do you really think Kate would have said those things to Max if you save her? She's incredibly grateful. Or do you think Chloe would have done those things??? She would NEVER. Then why is Warren being treated as someone who would do those things for a nightmare? I don't get it. There are two myths regarding him: that he spies on Max and that he photoshopped a photo with them. First one, you can verify with mods that he can't see SHIT, he is merely waiting for her outside. Second, the photo is developed, not photoshopped, Max doesn't say hey we never took that photo, she merely is surprised he kept it. Now, he's a bit pushy when it comes to the drive-in (he acknowledges he's a pain in the booty), says like a stupid joke (a 16-year-old making stupid jokes, what a crime), and has that photo, which for some is crossing boundaries, and hey, that's fine. I, personally, just think a 16-year-old having a photo with his friend and crush is not creepy or bad. So, now that I'm over the ship discourse, which I hate but had to write to explain, I'm so glad this game brought so many interesting characters. My only complaint is that it felt a little too short when it came to other characters, I guess it's because the literal theme of the game is about abandoning youth and growing up as well, so that's because it's very focused on Chloe and Max's relationship, besides the romance. I adore Kate! I’m so happy we were able to save her, it was seriously one of the best moments I’ve ever seen in a game, I would have liked to see her future children’s book with Max’s photos, their tea sessions, and her coming back to school. I would love to have seen more of Stella, (a POC I think) that according to her words, faced an abusive home and poverty to end up studying in a prestigious school like Blackwell, busting her ass to work and yet being super cool and kind! I would have loved to see more of Daniel, how he faced bullying, how his home life is, his budding romance with Brooke, his future drawings. I would have loved to see more of Dana! How she dealt with abortion, a heavy topic, and yet she's super happy, nice, and in a loving relationship apparently. I would have liked to see more of Juliet's reporting skills, I feel like she could have been more important to the plot, or at least more exposés on bullying and the Prescotts. I would have loved to see more of Alyssa, what she likes, her relationships, etc. I would have loved to see more of Taylor! How her mom was doing, what steps was she going to take in not falling with the Vortex Club bullshit, her love for fashion, like Courtney. We didn't get to know Courtney at all I feel and I would have liked to! I would have liked to see more of Victoria, her insecurities, her relationship with her parents, her inner thoughts (she's totally bi too I bet), even her friendship with Nathan seemed deeper. I would have liked to see more of cool hipster Evan, or good skater boy Luke. In short, I would have LOVED to have them all hanging more with Max. The ending, oh man, what an ending. It's incredibly hard, and I hate that saving Arcadia Bay seems to go into "bury your gays" trope, because if there was a way to save them both I would. The writing is very powerful, ending the way it began. This leads me to my initial topic, choices. I love that the game gives us choices, and considering there are other alternative realities, maybe both choices are canon in different universes. If I was in Chloe's shoes I couldn't choose to sacrifice my mom, and Joyce dies if Chloe is saved, as well as many other innocents, so I can't choose that ending, I just can't (and I understand that's totally personal for everyone). A really tough choice, at least for me, and hey, if it wasn't specified that practically everyone died, I would have saved Chloe no questions asked. I do love, however, how Chloe matures so much in the course of 5 days and her bond with Max. She sacrifices for Arcadia Bay, and a lot of it is because of Max, because she doesn't want her to make that choice. So now if you excuse me, I'm still playing the funeral scene in my mind and the bathroom scene (totally broken) and had to write this as cathartic, so feel free to disagree with me or whatever you prefer, each one of us experiences a different game because of our different experiences in life. Next step: BTS and LIS2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9uy4V8SvPk

[misterbitches]

i wish more than anything he could have had this. i love you man

i really fucking do

my love for nirvana and immense respect for kurt isn't something i ever expected. after being a huge fan of jonghyun too as a musician, a person who had things to say, a human being. the people around him. i fucking hate that kurt is gone and i was like...2. i got into hole when i was like 25 really heavily and refused to listen to nirvana. didnt' care about these white boys. but there's a reason why people love this band and why they loved kurt. i get mad sometimes at his death—selfishness—and then i make jokes to deal and cope. we all do with everything. it's just that and this is from a cis person...but i know so many trans people or people on the gender spectrum who have read his journals see him as someone struggling with gender. and after years of thinking and becoming such a huge fan i think that was honestly the truth. i think at this point we're all pretty sure he was gender queer or struggling with identity.

his aversion for oppression, his stand with the marginalized, not accepting racism, homophobia, transphobia BECAUSE THAT IS THE HEART OF DIY (spurred by my black people cos ofc it is and we do everything) and i wish that he could have beeen better.

to me it seems like his pain with his crohns (or wahtever he had) lead to his intense struggle with drugs because that's pretty common when needing pain management. on top of that, his family's history of MI. on top of that, his life being hounded and not being prepared for it (this i think is the idea of white privilege at work and wasn't naive of him necessarily, but...it's just something he thought wouldnt happen to him. that's whiteness at work as who they were as a diy fucking anti pop anti capital punk band. sonic youth said 'we didnt sell out, we made them buy in') and his rship with courtney. he said without court he might be gay or bi.

i won't read his journals, it's too fucking much for me and i dont feel allowed or maybe i will when i can handle it, but i know reading about them and him and hearing the way he changed his songs and his abhorrence for bravado, for men that talk about women as disposable and sex objects, for not being able to enjoy a punk band, for the whiteness and maleness. krist novoselic was a 6'7 fucking bassist and dave grohl is a sizeable dude with hideous tattoos. back then, no one said a fucking bad thing about them. come as you are.

we know that suicide is a state we get into. when you go to a psych ward you see that it's actually calm and an ebb/flow. it is extremely fucking boring. the thing is we don't know if these feelings last forever. we can't go back and time and history cannot change. it was his decision, like jonghyun's, to end his life. but i know there could have been longer. if they got help. i try not to resent courtney especially not now with people being irresponsible and unearthing the FBI report on him. he killed himself but it was definitely emotionally sparred by her and she should have told people what happened weeks before his death.

but no one failed him per se. his suicide note is full of hope and it kills me to see. he should have been able to be whoever he wanted. been a son, been a daughter, been anything.

whenever i hear the changed lyrics or see him in a dress or hear distress i dont know. i wish we didnt lose him but i also know that no one wants to go back to that time. it wasn't necessarily great but it wasn't all bad. and i wish commodity didn't destroy legacy. i wish we werent's so obsessed with the death and gore instead of the liveliness and hilarity of this band and of kurt. and i wish we could talk about him more and the idea that maybe there's so much going on with it; i have many critiques for things they have done, things kurt has done as well.

i'm talking in circles but i genuinely just get bummed. every day he is still dead. but this dude man......i love him a lot. i'm so glad nirvana gave what they did to the world. getting to know kurt so long after the fact is fucking hard sometimes. it is frustrating. but focusing on the positives too or trying to understand another perspective has given me a lot of insight. and i always try and remember that it wasn't just one thing, that nirvana were a band, it wasn't just him, and he could have been better but it just didn't work out that way. it's not solely about his internal pain and the narrative of a tortured artist is suffocating.

he wanted to be a star, make this insane pop song, and when he got it he didnt realize it became everything he hated. he was already struggling and all this shit hit a point. i have mad respect for them still. dave grohl said billie eilish is the kurt of her gen (about 2 yrs ago) and that drives me up a wall for various reasons. antiblackness and class. fuck that. these dudes were poor as fuck trucking it through washington with other bands and the basis is blacness and black art they were trying to fight and make it and give a shit man. it didnt turn out the way they could handle but they were not PRIMIING themselvs for musical stardom. no artist who cares would do that. but if you get the recognition you want because who doesn't, it comes at a price too.

this is why i critique commodity and capital so intensely. i participate, and i will have to as an artist. i don't have a desire to be poor because i've lived a life that gave me space to see what i want to do. i have class privilege (and a lot of debt) and i am grateful. but it isnt like i dont want peopl eto know. it's just that i know that i can't give in and accept and demand nothing and then decide to hoard it to myself. taht money that goes in funnels out and is not for me to keep. there is no trickling down. dont paly yrself.

artists like kurt and in a sense like MF Doom (rapper who only came out to be seen when he wanted to) or DMX even it's like....man u came out fucking fighting to be heard you know. do your thing. make your shit. be amazing. esp black people. DMX had a fucking face for a camera. hopefully i'm gonna watch belly at my best friend's house on the 28th.

i wish everyone who deserves to stay can stay until their body releases them in the most pleasant way as possible. jessica walter's death made me sad, but she was older and i'm so happy she got to live. same with cicely tyson. at the same time, the young deaths over drugs, suicide, accidents....id on't really get it. why is kissinger alive but these people can't stay? how did this come a somber tale of death instead of just i fucking love kurt cobain lmao

he's def one of those ppl that im like u rock. him, robeson, seberg to an extent. hm who else. wong kar wai, jenkins, joe (thai filmmaker whose name i cant spell.) all those people who are running forward on their own and beating their chest. yea i like that. an award is just another award. what matters is possibility and action.

RATHER BE DEAD THAN COOL