#also doing this makes me sleepy so thats probably why ill keep doing it. feels good sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grapesodatozier · 3 years

Text

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

#reddie #notsfw #reddie smut #reddie fic

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whump-whump-baby · 4 years

Text

So your Fictional Universe has Horses in it

Alternatively: People Ride Horses in Your Fic, and you’re Not Sure What to Do About It

horse rider/owner and baby writer here, throwing you an infodump that will maybe help with the whole ‘There’s a Horse in the Background here but I Don’t Know What to Do With it’ thing I sometimes see in writing!

Inside this infodump: Horse riding, horse care, horse tack (equipment), falling off a horse (and what usually gets injured), horse lingo, and behaviour.

1. Tame that beast (aka, riding the horse)

a couple things here: Getting on the horse, getting off, steering, etc

Honestly, I’m only including this part because I find that a lot of people skip past the whole ‘getting on the horse’ bit and I find it hilarious. It’s not a weird thing but it can be weird to describe. I get it!

Getting On

Experienced riders will always mount from the left side of the horse. It's a weird tradition that doesn’t really make sense anymore, but it’s still followed because most don’t really see a reason to change it. It supposedly dates back to medieval times and has something to do with where a sword would traditionally be hung on a person’s hip- mounting (Putting your foot in the stirrup, grabbing up high on the saddle, pulling yourself up and over while using your foot in the stirrup to help yourself) from the left means you wouldn’t accidentally poke your horse with your sheath. Not sure if this story has any validity to it, but we all still follow the left rule unless we’re specifically getting a horse used to mounting from the other side for whatever reason.

Getting off

I have a bone to pick with this. Nobody gets off their horse by swinging a leg in front of themselves, over the horse’s neck in front of them, and hopping down facing away from their horse. It’s not the safest bet to attempt because 1. It actually requires a lot of hip strength to swing your leg like that without kicking your poor horse in the neck, and 2. It doesn’t give you a legitimate way to hold onto your horse after dismounting, which is inherently unsafe. Even if you are in possession of The World’s Best Behaved Horse Ever, you always want to be holding onto the reins. Riders usually dismount by leaning forward, swinging a leg behind them and over the horse’s butt, pivoting sideways on their stomach, and sliding down off the horse- keeping a hand on the rein and one on the saddle to slow their descent. That way you always have a hand on your wild beast, who may decide at any given time that the nearby grass is more important than standing still for your dismount. Plus, swinging a leg like that is basically impossible in saddles that feature a saddle horn, like a western saddle.

It’s a little hard to see in this photo, but Geralt’s saddle definitely has some kind of high pommel to it- so he’d most likely dismount the normal way. It’s just easier!

If you tried to dismount like that in this western saddle you would definitely bruise something.

In this saddle (a Dressage saddle) you could probably pull it off.. but why?? All that struggle just to slide down on your butt and land funny, sprawled away from your horse. It’s just not worth it.

Steering and Etc.

Believe it or not, most steering movement actually comes from the rider’s weight in the saddle than their grip on the reins. If we’re looking at this from the realm of something like The Witcher (which is probably going to be my go-to media example because it’s still pretty recent) a relaxed turn is going to look like Geralt isn’t doing too much with his upper body, because he’d be weighting his seat bones in the saddle. Despite his saddle looking a little bulky, Roach could definitely feel it and respond accordingly- horses are pretty sensitive little friends and can feel most of what you’re doing up there, including looking down. (Protip, if you’re learning to ride horses, don’t look down- it’ll unbalance your upper body and make you pitch forward, unbalancing your horse and making yourself more likely to fall off)

A good way to have a character look experienced with riding is to describe someone relaxed but upright, shoulders back, hands closed but relaxed on the reins. They don’t have to be bolt upright, but at ease. A good way to describe a character with little to no riding experience would be to describe them as tense, probably hunching forward a little; hands too high or low and reins too long. See the lovely photos below:

A Dressage rider: she’s looking pretty evenly balanced, is sitting tall but not bolt upright, hands are low, elbows relaxed. Wonderful!

A Beginner: Absolutely no hate to beginners! We all have to start somewhere, But there’s definitely a difference in body language between this rider and our dressage rider. (Side note: PLEASE always wear a helmet on a horse, especially if you’re a beginner, good grief)

2. Horse Care

I don’t think too much needs to be said here, but there’s a couple things that are worth noting.

Grooming

Most horses love a good brushing. They’ll even lean into it if you find an itchy spot!

If your character has a ton of experience, grooming their horse makes a lovely backdrop for conversations. Riders usually brush their horses before and after riding, to remove dirt and mud and sweat. Manes and tails are brushed if you want to be detail oriented, and feet should always be picked out (A good chance for Character B to oogle Character A’s butt, if thats the kind of story you’re writing) to remove dirt and stones.

When Not Riding

Your furry partner-in-crime should be untacked and eating grass somewhere. Untacked means all gear removed and put away for the day- in stories like The Witcher, tied to a tree branch or a rest area in a halter is fine. As a horse person it wouldn’t make sense to leave their tack on all night- you’d leave it nearby, but not on them. If your characters are just pausing for a break or something, it’s totally ok- but done for the day? Nah. Let your pony be naked.

Injuries

Horses, like most prey animals, will hide injuries and illness until they physically can’t anymore. Small cuts and scrapes, dependent on where they are, will probably not give a physical response unless you manipulate them somehow (cleaning, applying antibiotics, etc). A horse may show discomfort by a number of signs, but if it really hurts your horse will probably shy away from your touch or may lash out at your hands to keep you from touching it. Signs of discomfort can be pinning their ears back against their head (aka Ow Ow OW, DON’T TOUCH IT, I’m UPSET) to straight up trying to run from you if they think you’re going to attempt to touch it (a more severe reaction for a more severe wound, like a deep cut/laceration/puncture etc). If a horse is in very dire straits you might get no reaction at all- your horse might be hanging its head low, not really responding to your voice or touch, appearing bleary eyed or dull eyed or sleepy. Generally that kind of severe behavior change is considered Very Very Bad and definitely grounds to call a vet for, especially if there’s no sign of physical injury.

3. Horse Tack (Equipment!)

Here’s a quick rundown of horse tack.

All these pieces make up the bridle, reins included.

*Side note- Bits are not cruel, and riders choosing to use them with their horses are not abusive. Bits are a tool riders use to communicate with their horses and there are hundreds of metal finishes, textures, shapes and sizes to fit a horse with a bit that makes them happy and keeps them comfortable. There are some horses who refuse to take bits, and their owners usually turn to a bitless bridle to keep them comfortable- however this is not “kinder” just because of the lack of bit. These bridles are just designed to exert gentle pressure to tell the horse to slow or stop instead of the gentle pressure on the bit. Different horses prefer different things, and none of these things are harmful to the horse if used properly and with care.

This is a diagram of a close contact or Hunter saddle, but the terminology generally applies to all different kinds of saddles. Girths are considered their own piece of tack and not as a part of the saddle.

Riders who are riding consistently usually at least wipe their tack down with a wet cloth after finishing with it for the day. Because tack is almost always leather, well cared for leather lasts a lot longer if cared for. This is also a great thing to have a character talk over in a fic- have them clean tack while having a hard conversation, or maybe show how quick and not-great of a job they do on their tack if they’re angry or trying to get away from another character closeby. Lots of opportunities! (If you really want to get detailed, cleaning usually looks like: a damp cloth to wipe dirt off and then rubbing a leather conditioner into the tack, which may smell lovely or a little weird depending on the brand)

4. Falling off

I see you, whump writers. (and I love you.)

So You Want your Character to Fall Off:

Falling off is rarely graceful. It can be caused by anything from an unexpected trip to your horse spooking at something, to a jump taken at the wrong spot/speed/angle... opportunities are endless. I have fallen off my horse at the walk because he startled at a dog and I slipped to the side, and I have fallen off over jumps, because my horse actively tried to get me off, or because I just wasn’t paying attention and Oops, how’d I get in the dirt? Generally if you’re looking for a reason for your character to fall off, they are endless. If the one at fault is the horse common reasons are the rider becoming unseated and slipping back/forward/sideways by the horse startling (at legitimately anything sometimes, depending on the horse.. let your imagination go wild!) changing speed or direction suddenly. All of these things will affect how your character comes off and how they’ll hit dirt with what body part. IE- pitching forward will probably land you on the top of your shoulders, if you’re lucky- if not, you’ll land on your head. Most people will land on the tops of their shoulders as the instinct to protect their head kicks in, but sometimes gravity is a bitch. It happens.

This is where experience comes in, too- Experienced riders will usually react quicker and will try to save themselves, either grabbing onto their horse’s mane or neck or even just keeping a death grip on the reins as adrenaline kicks in- all of which keeps your upper body higher than your lower and can lead to landing on your bum/side/feet instead of your head. Beginner or inexperienced riders might not react that quickly and end up landing roughly. This is not to say that more experienced riders will always come out less injured than beginners, but that experienced riders sense of self preservation will kick in faster frankly just because they’ve fallen off more. This is also why you see more beginners breaking arms in riding accidents- as you learn to ride you are taught (if you were taught like I was) to NEVER throw your arms out to catch yourself during a fall- it’s more likely that you will land on top of your straight arm and give yourself a wicked compound break. Your instinct changes from trying to save yourself to trying everything you can to staying in your saddle. Self preservation is a wonderful thing!

If Your Character is Sick/Already Injured:

The motion of the horse, even in walk, is going to make them feel worse- especially any injury to the lower stomach area. That’s where the body absorbs most of the motion from the horse’s gaits, especially in the hips/lower abdomen. So if Character A has a stab wound in his stomach and Character B has gotten them into the saddle to bring them to help.... Character A is gonna be in some pretty decent pain until they can dismount. For head injuries the same motion might make them dizzy or nauseous. But, good news! If your character slumps forward completely while keeping their arms on either side of the horse’s neck, they will probably manage to stay in the saddle for a decent amount of time. Their lower body and leg (hopefully still in the stirrups) will keep them in the saddle unless jostled out of it. (This, of course, only making sense if the saddle in question doesn’t have a horn, because otherwise your character won’t be able to slump forward far at all. )If they manage to slip off the horse in this position, they’re going to land head/chest/upper body first, especially if only semi-conscious due to previous injuries.

If dealing with any other injuries, getting on the horse might be nicer than walking but will definitely not keep anything still- any motion the horse makes will make the rider’s body move and jostle the injury, no matter where the injury is.

5. Wrapping it up: Horse Lingo and Behaviour

Horse terms are easy to find and but a google search away, but here’s some of the main terms:

Gaits: A horse’s movement. Walk, trot, canter and gallop with gallop being the fastest.

Aids: what riders use to communicate with the horse. This includes your hand (on the reins) your leg (squeezing to ask for gaits) and your voice.

(Riders talk to their horses! all the time. Even if just to say good boy/girl. Commonly we say things like hoooh, whoa, easy, no, etc. Sometimes just talking to your nervous horse helps calm them down)

Green horse: Inexperienced horse, usually new to being ridden, usually young.

Mare: Female Horse.

Stallion: Male horse, not neutered. Stallions can have a reputation for being hotheaded and sometimes hard to handle, but not all are like that.

Gelding: Male horse, neutered. Most people who have male horses will refer to them as geldings on paperwork.

Pony: a small horse. Not a baby horse. Just smaller.

Colt: Baby male.

Filly: Baby female.

You can probably use google for anything else without concern that you’re using a term that's unnatural.

Behaviour

My rule of thumb for writing behaviour is this: If it seems like a disney dog in a movie would do it........ it’s safe to say a horse wouldn’t. Writing a horse like a disney dog is too unnatural and will definitely make any horse people reading your story give an eye roll.

An example:

Your character has just dismounted their horse after a long ride.

A horse would: maybe sniff your pockets for treats (especially if you had some before you got on) stand next to you as you talked to someone, try to rub their head on you (scratches!! especially if they’re sweaty) maybe perk up at something in the distance if distracted enough

A horse would not: Shake their head at you, whinny at you, prance around and “smile” at you... roll their eyes at something you said... point like Lassie at something in the distance... etc.

Horses definitely have personalities! They can be affectionate and snuggly, nervous or brave, flighty or stoic... but they don’t emote the same way a cartoon character would. The best example i’ve seen of horse interaction in media would probably be the horses in Disney’s Brave. If you pay attention to the way horses interact with each other and react to events in the movie, it’s pretty spot on!

Follow your gut. You can still have a horse with a personality, but if it feels too cartoony, it probably is!

This is a great infographic that explains body language as well.

I hope this helps anyone who wants to include more horse interaction in their writing!

#writing #fiction #writeblr #writblr #whump #whumpblr #fanfiction #hopefully tagging this right!#photos are not mine

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jesswritesthat · 4 years

Note

hey babe! i love your writing so much!!! so i recently watched kaguya-sama: love is war and i was wondering if you could do a headcanon of kuroo, bokuto and atsumu where their crush gets sick and they visit her and she drags them into her bed to sleep with them? you can decide how it ends. thank you so much in advance if you do end up writing this! i love you and take care of youself💞

Hello lovely! Thank you so much for this, I’ve never seen Kaguya-Sama but it sounds really cute. Also take care of yourself too and I hope these are okay! Much love 💕

Summary: Bokuto, Kuroo and Atsumu checking up on their sick crush headcanons

>>>>—————————>

Bokuto Kōtarō:

• Has felt like he's been missing something all day but couldn't quite decipher what it was until Akaashi mentions how you're off sick.

• Thats when your phone is bombarded with ‘urgent’ messages inquiring about your wellbeing to the dramatic extent of:

[ Kou: (N/N)! You haven't answered me yet, are yOu StiLl AliVe?! ]

[ (N/n): no ]

[ Kou: Aw, can I have your cool headphones then, since you won't be needing them anymore? 😁💕 ]

[ (N/n): Wow Kou, I'll haunt your dumbass at Volleyball games for that. ]

[ Kou: Even in death, your support means everything to me. ]

• Despite his nonsense he kept updated with you throughout the school day by sending memes in hopes of raising your spirits. The most peace you got was during Volleyball Club time - the Ace too invested to message you at that point.

• At the end though he calls his team for a serious discussion and they're all expecting major improvements on their gameplay ready for Nationals.

But no.

"What can I get (N/n) to make her feel better, this is crucial. I need only good ideas!"

• They all knew about his crush on you, he wasn't exactly secretive about it but you were none the wiser. Even so, Fukurōdani offered what advice they could to their friend because like him, they cared about you too.

• "Akaashi picked up your schoolwork." Bokuto says as he walks into your room, waving the papers and placing them on your side.

"And you didn't think to take notes for me?"

"Nah, I wanted to bring you good stuff."

"Fair point."

• Bokutos likely brought everything he could find once he went home and changed/showered - he's got flowers, your favourite snacks, drinks, medicine and some movies to cure your boredom. Like how much do I owe you???

He's says it's fine though, in return you have to be better by tomorrow.

That's not how it works Kou.

• You're both seated on your bed watching some shitty movie when you start getting a bit sleepy and you just want warmth.

"Can you give me a hug Kōtarō? I just need a hug, I know how weird that sounds..."

• Doesn't even think twice about it, he practically tackles you onto the covers which elicits lovely giggles from you - the potential of him getting sick too isn't even considered, he's just focused on being with you and making you feel better.

• His arms are so warm and they’re beautiful, you forgot how toned he is and you grow so comfortable in his embrace. He’s also really relaxed about it and is calm enough to ramble on normally - except when you nuzzle against him during a cold shiver. Bokuto full on freezes mid sentence, releasing a cautious breath prior to changing the subject.

• It’s obvious he’s content with you though, and surprisingly falls asleep first which makes you laugh. Kōtarō keeps a strong but delicate hold on your body and is subconsciously receptive enough to your every move. You adjusted yourself slightly which stirred him, his voice is much huskier than before due to sleep but remains concerned.

“Can’t you sleep (Y/n)? I can-“

“I’m fine, you’re keeping me warm.”

• With a nod of understanding he’s gone again and you follow shortly afterwards, the both of you unintentionally making the nap a sleepover. Which you only realise the next morning - still in his arms even if the position has changed. You take a few minutes to enjoy it.

• Miraculously doesn't get sick, his immune system must be immortal as he's brimming with energy once he gets up. His radiance is actually contagious as you feel much better in yourself too and his vibrant attitude really motivates you for the day despite being physically exhausted from beating the flu.

• "Your partner is going to be blessed if you bring them breakfast, I mean talk about amazing." You comment as he brings up a plate that he’d crafted in your kitchen, which is surprisingly decent. You suppose he must keep his body fit somehow.

"My crush will have to do for now."

"Wait I - ah, you have a crush on me?"

"Hah, didn't you know? I never tried to hide it or anything."

Kuroo Tetsurō:

• Notices your absence immediately, he's observant by nature but especially where his crush is concerned and he isn't afraid to contact you before class starts.

• "Hey (Y/n), it's Kuroo, are you running late today?"

"Hnn, I'm not gonna make it. I tried but I feel awful - Sickness: 1, (L/n): 0." Already by the grogginess in your voice he can tell you're under the weather and winces at the sound of you stifling a cough.

"Ah geez, go to bed would you? And drink plenty of water, I'll inform the teachers and everything."

"Thanks Tetsurō, I owe you one."

• Will message you at regular intervals throughout the day regarding your health with cute little reminders. You were on his mind frequently, he’s lowkey worried okay?

[ Tetsu: Drink water, and eat breakfast if you can. ]

[ (Y/n): Yeah yeah I have, go learn something. ]

[ Tetsu: Why are you replying? Shouldn't you be sleeping it off - I don't want your germs. ]

[ (Y/n): Sharing is caring. ]

[ Tetsu: Oya? It took a cold for you finally admit you care, so is it gonna take a pandemic to say you love me? 😏 ]

[ (Y/n): 🖕🏻]

• Is actually considerate enough to tell you he'll swing by after practice, and asks if you want anything from the shop so you give basics like water and tablets. Comes equipped with the extra notes he's taken from all of your shared classes and requested papers from teachers in those you don't, so you're not falling behind.

• Aside from the bare minimum you requested, he chucks your favourite snacks on your desk stating that it’s important to keep morale high too. Liar. He just wanted to do something nice for you.

• Checks your temperature despite your protests of not being a child, he only does this because it vexes you and Kuroo finds that cute. As a silent apology for teasing the Hell out of you, he’ll make you some tea and you both get lost in conversation.

• Notices you’re starting to doze off, rest you should’ve had instead of texting everyone - but ensuring everything is fine, he’s about to stealthily exit until your fingers grasp his wrist and tug him back slightly.

"Stay Tetsurō..."

"You'll likely regret that request once you wake up."

"S'ok, it's you."

• The strength you have when tugging him into bed with you catches him completely off guard and he’s actually blushing - doesn’t know what to say but knows he has to at least maintain some composure.

“So uh, never knew you wanted me this badly.”

“Ugh shut up dumbass, I can feel your rapid heartbeat from here.”

“Right...”

• Kuroo goes all shy, you’ve wrapped your arms around his waist and are comfortably leaning against his side and he absentmindedly runs his fingers soothingly up and down your arm to settle his own nerves.

• It’s peacefully silent, simply enjoying one another’s company before he hears your muffled sniffles indicating you’ve fallen asleep and a soft smile graces his lips. If you were his, then he’d definitely kiss your forehead, and lips to be honest, but the fact you aren’t leaves him with a disappointed sigh.

• You both end up taking a nap, waking up wrapped in each other’s arms and noses practically touching which startled the Captain - Kuroo literally falling off of your bed with a yelp much to your amusement. Afterwards, he departs suggesting you get more rest, get better soon and he’ll see you at school next week.

• At least that was the plan, which altered with the text exchange the following morning.

[ Kuroo: Sharing is not caring, I wanted your snacks not your sickness! ]

[ (Y/n): RIP us. 💀 ]

[ Tetsu: You owe me one remember? I've got the house to myself this weekend so would you like to suffer together? I have blankets, entertainment and food. ]

[ (Y/n): Beats sniffling alone, I'll bring the tissues and drugs. ]

• So, you went over with a trail of sneezing in your wake and ended up snuggled with Kuroo under a blanket with a variety of games gracing the TV as you skilfully passed around the tissues. Aside from being ill, spending time like this with him was perfect.

• "Sickness: 2, (L/n) and Kuroo: 0..."

"No, Kuroo: 1.”

"How so? You K.O. a sneeze or something?"

"I got to spend the day with you didn't I? That counts as a win in my book."

"Tch careful, anyone would think the Scheming Captain cares~"

"I do smartass, I care about you a lot (Y/n)..."

Miya Atsumu:

• Atsumu wasn't one to act needy in any way, the only excuse for him to contact you in regards to your absence was to do it with a remark and hope you'd elaborate.

[ Atsumu: Yo, are ya ditching me to survive English on my own? That's cold (Y/n) 😭 ]

[ (Y/n): Sorry 'Tsumu, I'm too busy dying to care rn. Have a fun missing me loser. ]

[ Atsumu: Hah you wish, you alright tho? ]

• You're good friends but he's never really expressed genuine concern about you before, not verbally anyway. You thought the final "K" after you'd told him you were gonna rest would be the end of it.

So you were beyond surprised when he rocked up to your house later that evening.

• It took everything you had not to mock him for his embarrassed stature, solely flustered by the fact you'd seen him so considerate. Admittedly you were also exhausted and probably couldn't think of a snarky reply anyway.

• "What's up? Was there homework or - ugh, or something?"

"Huh? Oh I dunno. But uh, I got 'Samu to make you some Okayu, and a Umeboshi Tea since it's good for colds and stuff."

• Totally pestered Osamu all day to help him make you something and had to do stupid favours in return but Atsumu will deny it if you ever ask.

• “I love how you don’t care what you look like when you have guests over.”

“Take your stupid backhanded compliments and shove them up your pretty litt-“ You bite back, flipping him off in the process while Atsumu remains proudly victorious.

“Nah ah, is that any way to speak to the man who brought you dinner?”

“It’s the way to speak to the man whose currently annoying me.”

“You’re welcome, this is revenge for ditching me in class gorgeous~”

• Despite how irritating he could be, Atsumu stuck around for a bit to make sure you ate everything he’d brought and taken the appropriate medication.

• “Oh yeah, I brought that movie you were talking about the other day. Figured it might pass the time a bit.”

“Thank you! I’ll give it back once I’m better - thank you so much ‘Tsumu.”

Your excitement was endearing, and he had to collect himself a bit since admiring such little quirks was out of the question - his crush was bad enough as it is.

“Wanna watch it now? I haven’t got anything to do so I can give you spoilers.”

“Sounds good - and not a word!”

• You spent the afternoon watching the film and playfully wrestling the blonde in order to shut him up whenever he made an attempt to spoil it - he would never, but provoking you was too funny.

• You settle down later on, putting on a mindless tv show for background noise before collapsing onto your bed with groan. Atsumu raising a smug brow at your exhausted state as he threw his jacket on.

• "Wanna sleep with me?" It was innocent, at least you didn’t think much of it then.

"Do I what now?" He was smirking, thankful that your panic left you oblivious to the blush crawling up his neck at the mere insinuation alone.

"Sleep wit- ohh I did not think that through! I meant sleep in my bed, next to me, to help me drift off. Maybe it's the sleepiness or medicine but I really want you Atsumu..."

"Not helping your case at all." Again he smugly responded, dropping his jacket to the floor with a sly smile.

"Stop smirking and just hug me okay? Then you can leave and tease me about this later."

• Atsumu isn't awkward about it, subduing his nerves enough to pull you into his arms as he sits up - dutifully ignoring the butterflies in his stomach due to your close proximity and the intoxicating smell of your hair.

• Atsumu becomes unintentionally soft, his fingers slowly begin to glide through your hair and he hesitates when he feels the hum of contentment you release before continuing. Your whole body just relaxes against his and he subconsciously does the same, not even realising he was this tense around you - was his body always like that in your general presence?

• As you start quietly talking about nothing and everything, he notices a weakness - you’re a lot more open when drowsy and god he wants to take advantage but knows you’ll remember the questions he asked and murder him for it when you’re able.

• Intead he attempts to protect any dignity he thinks he has left with you - jokes on him, it’s absolutely none. You guys are way past that level and he knows it.

“You better get healthy quick, not that I care but English is really borin’ on my own ya know?”

"The people you truly care about must be really lucky to have you 'Tsumu..." The mumble is enough to make him roll his eyes, but he waits until you’re asleep to reply.

"Yeah... you are..."

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

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letthefrogsbe · 3 years

Text

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry.

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

#hope this is marketable??#sort of just wanted to share my 4 am writing tbh #it doesn't make sense just go w it #parkner #peter parker #harley keener

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eddie-rifff · 2 years

Text

prog rock epics ranked as far as claire is concerned because i feel like starting a fight today :~)

1. Supper’s Ready by Genesis

2. A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers by VdGG

3. Cygnus X-1 Book II by Rush

4. Close to the Edge by Yes

5. Thick as a Brick (Pt. I & II) by Jethro Tull

6. The Gates of Delirium by Yes

7. Mind Drive by Yes

8. Remember The Future (Pt I & II) by Nektar

9. Tarkus by ELP

10. Echoes by Pink Floyd

im sure theres more but these are the ones i know off the top of my head (apart from TFTO but i figured three Yes songs was enough)

elaboration under the cut in case anyone cares lol

ok so

first understand there are a few parameters which i used to judge these: creativity/inventiveness, musicianship, story/plot, texture from one section to the next, and cohesiveness. all of these songs have those things except maybe Echoes which you will come to see i just dont care for lol.

picking between Supper’s Ready and Lighthouse Keepers for number one was very hard as i think they could both probably take that spot, but i tried to remain unbiased through my peter hammill obsession and gave Genesis the win here.

i think both the top two songs are like. works of art. they’re the only songs that are so vivacious that i can SEE them when i listen to them. they have so much texture and so much stuff going on (perhaps TOO much stuff going on but thats where personal taste comes in, you might notice i put the “busiest” songs at the top) ((actually jk theyre not too busy theyre nearly perfect i take that back. theyre ALMOST too busy but the both have breaks in them that let you as a listener rest throughout what IS an onslaught of tasty tasty prog)) that they completely draw you in. at no point will you get bored in the top three songs, the bottom seven all have spots where you might get a little sleepy. i mean they’re all busy.........except for the last three... ELP fans i apologize in advance but i think Tarkus is lacking

as far as musicianship, CTTE and Cygnus X-1 are probably at the top, but looking at the pieces over all, considering all the factors i mentioned previously, this is what im thinking.

why is Tarkus at the bottom, claire?? well i just dont think its that good. are there people who worship it like people worship CTTE???? not to be mean but i kinda hope not. idt it deserves that. i think 6 and up deserve that attention but 7 down really don’t. maybe Mind Drive idk. i just think it lacks the texture and creativity that i KNOW ELP has. i know what ELP can do and this isnt it. its a letdown. when i first saw that they had a 20 minute long song i was expecting something like 20 minutes of Karn Evil 9 which would have been REALLY cool but instead we have what we have and its just not the piece it could have been.

as for Echoes.... its Echoes. i dont think its really even meant to be an “epic” the way Supper’s Ready is, but i slapped it in there to make an even 10 songs, otherwise i might not even include it! its a fine song. its fine. but its no Supper’s Ready let alone Tarkus. its got no balls that song

not to keep harping on Tarkus lol but like dude it just dicks around so much. i listened to is again as i was making this and man..... every other song (excluding Echoes) has SOMETHING interesting going on by minute three but Tarkus just goes into these weak boring vocals. like yeah hes finally singing but it’s not even those Good greg lake vocals. maybe im just impatient, idk, but thats how i feel.

n e waiz ill stop talking about Tarkus now lol. you might be surprised to see me, chris squire’s very own number one fan, put CTTE in FOURTH place, but thats no remark on CTTE, rather just how insane the first three songs are. if you havent listened to any of those songs i am on my knees begging you to do so, they all fuck so hard. i also highly recommend Mind Drive for the unaware, it also fucks, but of course not as much as those above it.

where am i going with this, you ask? nowhere im just autistic and like to make lists. bye

#please dont unfollow me for disliking tarkus lol #a beast that can talk #I REALLY FUCKING CALLED THE GATES OF DELIRIUM RELAYER #I AM SO SORRY

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years

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Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken.

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl.

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't.

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph!

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

Text

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

#bnha au #bnha #villains hero au #villain all might #all might #midoriya izuku #midoriya #deku #katsuki bakugou #toshinori yagi #yagi #midoriya inko #dadmight #david shield #melissa shield #mha #boku no hero

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reeree1500 · 5 years

Text

The Return- Part 5

Guys I'm so sorryyyy!😭I HAD MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK😭 It was actually so bad! And then the fact that Tumblr deleted my whole draft and I had to start it over again🙄 Big surprise towards the end btw😂Anyway here's part 5 y'all...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Disclaimer: My sucky writing, Incest, grammar and spelling😅 and just overall the whole thing😂 please don’t kill me🙏🏽😂 @yanii-the-hippie is already trying to😂

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @youbloodymadgenius @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @cainismyname @readsalot73 @wuxiesalt @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms

Flashback to 6 years ago...

“RUN! (Y/N)! RUN!” Helga screamed...

On that fateful night you had been awakened from your slumber by one very worried Helga. She was the wife of the scary looking man Floki. And you could never come to understand how such a cheerful and radiant person, could be with someone so dark and mean. Helga had come in to the homestead whilst everyone was asleep. She had overheard her husband and Aslaug talk about getting rid of the christian child of Ragnar Lothbrok. She knew about (y/n), but she never thought that an innocent child would have to pay for the sins committed by those around her.

As Helga made her way silently across the home trying to find the child, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She was betraying her husband and the Queen at that. But she couldn't get over the fact that an innocent child would be murdered. When she sees (y/n)’s and Bjorn’s bodies cuddle up on the bed, she softly approaches the little girls’ side. Tapping her on the shoulder she manages to wake (y/n) up. Startled you go try tp scream and thats when she places her delicate finger over your lips. Signalling you to be quiet. “Follow me, you and your family are in grave danger.” The feeling of wanting to protect your family from anything consumed you. Even being 13 years old you understood that family came first and that you would gladly lay down your life to save theirs. With that, you untangled yourself form Bjorn’s embrace and gave him a small peck on his forehead, then you made your way to your parent’s room. You peeked inside to make sure they were asleep and then tip toeing to where they lay in an embrace you softly kissed both of them goodbye.

You knew that this may very well be the last time you ever saw your parents. But, you could tell through the look in Helga’s eyes that whatever she was talking about your family being in danger was in fact the truth. Helga helped you gather some of your things quickly and as you rushed to the door, you almost forgot your teddy. “Wait, I need to grab my teddy. I cant leave without it, its the only thing I’ll have left of them.” You silently whisper towards Helga as she stands watch by the door. “Ok, but you must hurry. They'll be here any second now. And if they find you, I can assure you that no one will survive.” At that you scurry back towards your room. In there you find a sleepy headed Bjorn almost waking up. “(y/n), what are you doing? Come back to bed, you know we’re gonna start your training tomorrow morning.” He yawns out. “Sorry, I'm just really thirsty. Ill get a glass of water and come back ok?” you murmur to him. Bjorn just nods whilst yawning and goes back to sleep. But before you close the door and disappear you can hear him murmur the words I love you...

Your POV

After the moment that we shared in the Great Hall as a family happened. Mother, father, Bjorn and I had gone down to the lake by the old homestead we once lived in. There we all lied down on the grass and I had caught them all up on what had transpired on that night 6 years ago. “So let me clear this up, Helga...as in Floki’s wife. Broke into our home and kidnapped you and then sent you away on a boat to Frankia...” said Lagertha trying to wrap her head around the subject. “Well, mother I wouldn't really put it like that, but technically yes. She kidnapped me in order to save me and yourselves. Or so she claimed. She didn't really get into details on who was after me. She just told me that my life was in danger and I finally believed her when we were being chased by a group of mercenaries.” I respond to her. In that we all fall into silence. Over looking the lake I can tell that my family is processing all this information. Not only because of how quiet they are at the moment, but because I can feel their eyes on me. As if they believe that I shall vanish right in front of them.

“I missed this... Having my family together, overlooking the lake and just the serene and calming effect that this place has on us.” My father breaks the silence as he looks out towards the lake. He runs his fingers through my mother’s hair. And I cannot help but think about how come they never told me. “Soooo... since we’re all together finally. Can someone tell me how in the name of God and all that is good. No one ever told me about Aslaug and her sons?” With that my father’s fingers come to a stop at the ends of my mother’s long golden locks. “It just went something you tell your child out of the blue, (y/n).” My mother responds for my father. They always did this. Even as a child, when one of them was being questioned. The other would jump in and save them as if the question was directed at them. “But why keep it a secret? I don't understand, if you were married to Aslaug and Ivar and I are the same age that means that you laid with mother during the time you were married to her. Meaning that I have no claim to anything. Im a bastard.” At this my father lifts my mothers head from his lap and turns to me. Rage and sadness is what I am able to detect from his electric blue eyes.

“You are not a bastard child! I will not have you slander my name or your mothers with such lies. Your mother and I are married, in the eyes of both the Christian God and Freyja and Odin. Yes, your mother left me when Aslaug became pregnant with Ubbe. And many years later she came back to me, however I could not let her go. Be it selfishness or pride, she was mine and I am hers. Till death do us part!” At that tears well up in my eyes. Not because Ive just been scolded by my father. But, because this is the first time that I could really say that he has shown me his emotions. The night where we reunited, was only a small glance of emotion. But, this moment here had probably been the closest thing to a heart to heart that I have ever had with my father. He wipes my tears away and then goes to face Lagertha who had also been tearing up through this revelation. And they share a small, but passionate kiss.

I do not know if its just the overwhelming emotion that I’m processing, but I cannot help but bring my finger to my lips and think of a certain ill tempered boy...

-----------------------------------------------

As the hours went by, we had decided to not only renovate and clean up the homestead. But we relieved some of the old memories we had. Bjorn and I decided to get in the water and go for a swim. Whilst Lagertha and Ragnar stayed in the house “cleaning up”. Bjorn and I knew exactly what that meant. As I laugh thinking about the situation that my parents are in. Bjorn sneaks up behind me and dunks my head into the water. I try my hardest to push him away and try to get rid of his hold on my head. My lungs need a break and as I almost felt my self drifting away, Bjorn pulls me back up. Gasping for air and coughing out the water from inside. I turn around and hit Bjorn’s chest as hard as I could muster at the moment. “Bjorn! What the hell!! you could've killed me!” I yell at him through my punches. “Ow..ow.. OW!!!. I was just joking... Jeez woman lose up!” He responds trying to shield himself form my hits. “Well it wasn't funny...”

As I swim towards the shore and go to collect my clothes, Bjorn turns me around and looks into my eyes. “We need to talk. And it’s not something that you are not getting yourself out of.” At this I can only gulp. Did he find out about Ivar and I? Is it possible that Hvitserk told him? No..no, Hvitty wouldn't do that. But then again he’s know the boys his whole life. I have just met them. “What about, big brother?” “Sigurd told me something when we had been waiting for mother’s arrival. And you could say I‘m a little concerned, and I just want to get to the bottom of it.” He says while eyeing me carefully. At that moment before I could respond the sound of the horses hooves could be heard form down the road. Bjorn and I quickly exchange looks and begin to dress immediately. We run towards the homestead and burst through the doors. It seems as whatever mother and father had been up to had just finished.

Seeing our exasperated sighing and how flustered I must have looked father reaches for his sword. “Why are you both so out of breath?” Mother asks wrapping the quilt around herself. “We heard horses down the road. We didn't know if they were friend or foe. And Bjorn didn't have any of his weapons with him.” I manage to get out. At this both father and Bjorn make their way towards the door. Peeking out the one of the small holes Bjorn is able to make out who it was standing outside. “Its the guards accompanied by Ubbe, Hvitserk and Ivar.” Something told me that this would be quite eventful...

--------------------------

Ivar POV

The moment (y/n) and her mother reunited in the great hall brought a tear to everyones eye. I admit that maybe I got a little emotional as well, but no one would ever know that. However, I noticed that my beautiful mother had left the room with rage and tear filled eyes. I had never seen my mother go through so many emotions in one day. She went from having a good blessed morning to having a shit hole day with that whore Lagertha coming back. I mean she gave birth to my beautiful (y/n), but still. Every time I see her I cannot help, but want to choke her to death fro all the pain she caused my mother.

Shaking me from my thoughts Ubbe starts going off on Hvitserk. “How could you be so stupid! (Y/n) has a target on her back and you decided to go off into the woods alone without anyone else?!?!?!” In this sense Ubbe was right, Hvitserk put (y/n)’s life in danger all because he wanted to take her from me. It wasn't enough for these people that I am a cripple. But they want to take the woman that the gods sent to me! This is unacceptable and I will not allow it. “Ubbe is right. She could have been killed because of your insolence Hvitty!” I scream at him. My blood had been boiling at this point. “Oh shut up Ivar! We all know that if she would have asked you to go with her, you would have done the same. If not take her some place remote where she could not leave your crippled ass!” Hvitserk barks back at me.

All this time Sigurd is sitting by the fire pit whilst tuning his lyre. “You both should just accept the fact that you're in love with your own sister. And that it will never go anywhere. Besides I overheard father speaking in his chambers the other day with Bjorn. They're looking for suitors to marry her off to. That way she will be hopefully safe from whoever is hunting her.” Sigurd says as calm as one could ever be. At this my mouth hangs open and Hvitserk and I exchange glances. “N..No... That cannot be. Father would never marry (y/n) off to someone she doesn't know. And the fact that he just got her back should keep him form doing so as well.” Hvitserk struggles to say. Im still trying to process the fact that my purpose to live will be taken from me once again. This I cannot allow...

-----------------------------------------------

“Ivar you’re sure that this is the right way?” Hvitserk asks me for the hundredth time. This time instead of answering I just keep going. This man-child will not drive me insane today. Not when the task at hand is so dire. Making our way through the woods and down the path, I spot my father’s horse as well as 3 other ones. Urging my horses to go faster I catch a glimpse of (y/n) runnings towards the homestead whilst trying to slip her dress back on. The way that the drops fell from her hair and onto her chest and then down the valley of her breasts made me come to a halt. Before I knew it the guards and Ubbe had all passed me and there I was still sitting in my carriage on the same spot. Once she was out of my sight, I got it together and got to the house. There we were greeted by father and Bjorn. “Ubbe. what brings you all down here?” my father asks. “We wished to know what we should do about the investigation. You all just took off without alerting anyone.” At that Lagertha steps out of the homestead clearly in a disheveled dress. From that we can guess what her and father were up to before we could get here.

“Actually Ubbe... Your father and I have come to terms that (y/n) shall be trained by me. This way I can properly teach her how to use her strengths and weaknesses to her advantage. Something you boys will not be able to teach her.” At the mention of this (y/n)’s eyes widened in surprise. “Well... Mother (y/n) isn't really one to train, if Im honest with you. Poor girl is was never taught how to properly defend herself. And through all the training that we've put her through, its not much of an improvement...” Bjorn says, but then trails off due to (y/n) punching him in the gut. I can tell you that I have never been as in love with someone as I am with my own sister. Which is ridiculous to many, but the truth...

---------------------------------------------

Your POV

Weeks from the time that my mother arrived had gone by. My training started immediately after the conversation that we all had at the porch. Ubbe and the boys had finally gotten somewhere with the investigation with the help of Lagertha. They had found the murder weapon, a small dagger with intricate designs. Bjorn had taken it to get a closer look, but from what I had seen in his eyes I could tell that he knew who was behind this. As I think of who could have been behind the murder of my best friend, the wind is knocked out of me. “(Y/N)! Concentrate! Never take your eyes off your opponent! Thats the number one rule on the battlefield!” My mother yells at me from above. Extending her hand out towards me I grasp on to it and she pulls me up from the ground. Dusting myself off I mumble an I’m sorry to her and that I will concentrate next time. “When facing a real opponent child you will not have the luxury to be better again. Its do or die!” She holds onto my shoulders as she looks into my eyes and then leans her forehead against mine. “I want you to be able to defend yourself. It might come a time where neither your father or I. Bjorn and your brothers will be there to protect you. And I need to be able to sleep at night with the thought that my child will not be taken from me again by some imbecile...”

My mother and I exchange a final glance before she heads off towards the great hall in what I think is an attempt to find my father. My father and Bjorn have been very secretive lately. Every time I walk into a room I can tell that the conversations they were having were about me before I got there. And it was very much getting on my nerves. Picking up the bow that Ivar had made for me I start to aim at the dummy target. But before I knew it something startles me and I let go of the arrow without knowing where it would hit. “AHHHHH, are you trying to kill me woman?!??!”

“Ivar, Oh my God I’m so sorry. You startled me.” I say whilst rushing towards him. “I see that you've taken a liking to the bow I crafted for you...” blushing from his words I simply nod my head and stare at the ground. “(y/n). I wanna have a serious conversation with you. But it must be done in private.” He whispers the last part to me. I rear my head towards him and proceed to grab his hand. Ivar takes it upon himself though to lace our fingers together and walk together to "our” chambers. Passing by the market, I notice the looks that people have been given us and the not so quiet whispers. Embarrassed and not wanting to drag attention to myself anymore than I already have. I attempt to let go of Ivar’s hand, but he will have none of it. He jut grips my hand harder and walks a little faster towards the cabin.

Once inside Ivar walks towards the bed and starts taking off his braces. “Close the door please. I would like this to be a private conversation between you and I. For the time being.” Doing as told, I close the door behind me and make my way towards him. Ivar is struggling to get one of his braces off, so without thinking I kneel before him and push his hands away to try and help him out. At this action Ivar looks at me with shock and a hint of adoration. Over the last 3 months that I have been here. I observed Ivar take his braces off before bed. Something about them fascinated me and I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Picking myself up from the floor I go to sit beside him on the bed in one swift movement Ivar pushes me back on the bed and gets on top of me.

Before I could scream his lips touch mine. Unlike the times before I find myself reciprocating the kiss. Our lips begin to move in sync with each other. He traced his tongue on my bottom lip asking for entrance which I denied. At this he got frustrated and slapped my ass. As I opened my mouth to yell at him for hitting me, he took this as a chance to slip his tongue in my mouth. There was no fight for dominance as he overtook the situation. My fingers tangle in his hair trying to pull him closer to me. His hands caress my sides and then cup my breasts. In this I cant help, but let out a moan. Ivar pulls back and stares at me while bringing his hand up to brush my hair outta my face. “I would really love to continue this, but there's something I have to tell you (y/n).” He untangles himself from my grasp and brings my hand to his lips. Placing small kisses on the back of my hand he closes his eyes and then reluctantly gets up. As I lay on the bed, I can only think of what we were up to seconds ago. What would have happened if we didn't stop. Pulling me into his lap and out of my thoughts Ivar grabs my face in his hands.

“Before you got here I was a scared and lonely boy. With no notion of what love was or could have been. To think that the gods made you especially for me and brought you to me at the most opportune time is a sign from Odin himself. (Y/n) I will not let them take you away from me. Not now or ever...” Ivar closes the gap between us with a small and tender kiss. “Ivar... it’s wrong. How we feel about one another isn't right...” my eyes well up with tears. What cruel joke is this that God is playing. Why? How come the man that I love is my brother... Brushing my tears away, I could tell that Ivar is having the same predicament. “Father plans to marry you off... That is what I wanted to talk to you about.” His eyes do not meet mine this time. “Wait...no it cant be. Father would never do that. he always said that I would be free to marry whomever I pleased and fell in love with...” Nothing the change in my breathing Ivar hugs me and rubs my back. “I will not let them. You will not be sold like cattle just because they cant find the killer and are afraid.”

“This is why I want you to runaway with me. Will you (y/n)...”

------------------------------------

Bjorn POV

I cannot control the anger boiling inside me. How could she do this... Storming off from the meeting I went straight to my cabin. There she greeted me as if nothing was wrong. “Love I made some...” Throwing the bowl of soup from her hands I pushed her back onto a chair. “Bjorn what's wrong with yo...” “What wrong with me?!?!?! How about what's wrong with you? You killed Mira! You tried to kill my sister!” At this point all I see is red. I cant even describe how I felt when I saw that the murder weapon was Torvi’s dagger. And to think I was gonna tell her the truth and let her in on the reason as to why she could be wanted dead. “Bjorn.. please! It was not like I wanted to do it! Aslaug forced me too. She had said that you were in danger! Please Bjorn you have to believe me! I did it for our family!” Shaking my head at her I turn around and head towards the door. “Get your stuff, I don't want you here when I come back. I will tell my father everything that you and Aslaug have been planning. And for the sake of what we once had I will give you this heads up so you can leave. And do not come back!” Slamming the door of the cabin I head towards the great hall and begin t think to myself about the first time I laid eye son my sister....

19 years ago...

“Bjorn... come meet her.” I didn't want anything associated with that child. The fact that I had already lost a sister and that my parents had now taken in a child that wasn't theirs baffled me. “She's not my sister. She the child of a christian priest...” At that my mother looks at me with sadness in her eyes. “Bjorn I know that you still hurt over Gyda and the fact that she didn't survive and you did. This child however is your sister. No matter how she came into this world, the gods have given us a second chance. Please come and meet her, for my sake?” At that I go towards my mother and get a closer look at the child. Her features resembled that somewhat of my father’s. Not much, but enough to be able to pass as the child of my father and mother. “What about Athelstan? Is he okay with you taking his child?” I ask my mother. At that my father walks in and kneels before me. “You must protect her with your life Bjorn. From this day onward she will be yours to take care off. She is your sister and no one must know that in fact she is Athelstan’s daughter or she and all of us will be in danger.” At that I understood why my parents had done it. Taken a child that wasn't theirs in order to protect it. Although I didn't want her, I cant help but feel a strong sense of protection over her. As if my sole task in this world is to protect her... “Bjorn...she doesn't have a name yet. Would you like to name her?” My mother asks whilst placing the child in my arms. The baby opens her eyes and looks up at me. Her beautiful eyes open up to reveal those (y/e/c) orbs. She cracks a smile at me and at that I cant help, but laugh. “(Y/n)...her name will be (y/n).”

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unreliable-narrator · 5 years

Note

would u slaughter me if i asked u to do all of them. all of the greek goddess asks

i spare u from slaughter and do all of them

aphrodite - who do you love most in this world?

i love a lot of people and i love a lot of things so this is a hard question but i love my mom and i love my cat and my friends and-

hebe - what’s you’re fondest memory from childhood?

ok ill expose myself. playing roblox w my first online friends when i was like 9 and roleplaying all casually was really my peak i was so happy!!!

melpomane - what is your favourite song?

i love a lot of music. just an absurd amount. it really depends on any given moment but i think ill give the general award to “it only gets much worse” by nate ruess because i love that song so much. or darkside by shinedown. or lg fuad by motion city soundtrack.

nike - what are you most proud of?

it was the summer of 2018. i was going crazy on farming simulator 17. i found all 100 gold nuggets in 3 hours on the bonus hunt for 1000000 in-game dollars. god save my soul

thalia - who can always make you laugh when you’re feeling sad?

@avothoto and @madpanda14 are both peak comedians and i love them very much

urania - do you believe in astrology? why/ why not?

the logical part of me would love to say no but there’s that part of my brain thats like...what IF....i can’t lie on this post or ill get called out. i know too much about astrology. i need to know people’s signs. i always know what season it is. i wish i didnt. help

selene - would you rather the sky had no moon or no stars?

i’d rather keep the stars at all costs. the stars are everywhere and they are bright and their dust makes up all of us and they’re beautiful and we as a species have done so much with them. that being said i love the moon and i think if we got rid of either the moon or the stars there would be like? physical consequences? maybe we should keep them lmao

polyhymnia - do you belong to a religion? which one?

i do not but i do believe in a general deity or higher power that i refer to as the Universe

pheme - which celebrity do you find most inspirational?

ngl i have absolutely no idea. i love celebrities but like i don’t know their life stories? i dont know who is inspirational and who isnt srtjhksdfjsdfgjhk

hecate - if you were a witch, what kind of animal would your familiar be?

i KNOW its a cheap answer but 100% a cat. specifically, my cat, peanut butter. she’s a bastard and would currently be laying in front of me if she had not been whisked away to bed only a moment ago. she’s 11 years old, she has no teeth, and certainly no braincells

clotho - do you want children? what do you want to call them?

NOT GONNA LIE w/ the right wife i think i might like some kids. i go crazy for kids. they’re so small. as for names? good question all i know if i love traditionally masuline names for girls and i’d definitely name a son Daniel and i have no logical reason

artemis - are you a vegetarian/ vegan?

nope

athena - do you have a favourite piece of art? what is it?

i don’t know art at all. i know absolutely nothing about art actually. however i’ll take this opportunity to say that everything ever drawn by @buzzybez is the most beautiful and talented thing ive ever seen

enyo - do you get angry easily?

no but i DO get unhealthily angry at small things that have no relevance so there is that

harmonia - if you could learn to play any instrument, what would it be?

oh my god the drums 100% i’ve always wanted to learn but i have no idea what drums even. do. aren’t they just for the background? how do drums work? what’s sound?

hestia - would you rather live in the countryside or the city? why?

not to sound gay or anything but i dream of cooking eggs for my wife while the window of our ranch house is open and i can hear the animals outside but also sitting on the fire escape with my wife looking over the streets. maybe what we’ve learned from this is that i want a wife

hygenia - are you a tidy person?

not particularly my room is cluttered and small but it is cozy and entering gives you a sleepy buff

nyx - when was the last time you stayed out past midnight?

probably never. i genuinely can’t remember it’s 8pm right now and it’s already my bed time late night is Not Lexi Hours

hehe that was fun thank u very much <3

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wolfqueen-is-here · 5 years

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Kisses Remembered, Kisses Forgotten (Jonsa Secret Santa 2018)

Dearest @moonchildslife, I am so sorry for my delay, Christmas was crazier than I expected, and I didn’t finish my gift on time. But it is here now, and I hope you don’t find it too terrible ;). I wish you a wonderful year with Jonsa becoming canon in April and our fandom wishes coming true. Be happy, be healthy, be yourself! <3

Many thanks to @jonsasecretsanta2018 who made all of this happen, you truly are amazing!

A/N Don’t be alarmed by a brief mention of the Hound. I promise you, it has nothing to do with SanSan in any way except mentioning The Un-Kiss. Book!canon, but mostly show!canon, can be interpreted both as a filler and an AU. 2300 words

Kisses Remembered, Kisses Forgotten

Every now and then Sansa remembers, even though she has tried so hard to leave the past behind. The Hound was rough and scary, but the kiss that he took left a lingering taste on her lips—it was as soft as snow, almost familiar, she’s caught herself missing the shy affection that came with the kiss, a wary touch so vulnerable it felt almost childish. She remembers the kiss that he took. The only thing she doesn’t remember is him taking it.

Every night feels longer and darker than the former ones. It isn’t until she jumps from Winterfell walls that she remembers how to feel warm again, but the road north is as cold as ice and covered in snow. “His lips felt warm”, she thinks as she runs towards her freedom. “The kiss that he took, it felt warm.”

There are times when she is almost certain that she gave it willingly.

—

“You look cold,” Jon says after staring at her in silence for a good half an hour. It would annoy her beyond reason, were it anyone else, anyone less trustworthy, anyone less… Jon, but coming from him it’s almost flattering. No one has ever cared for her so since she’d lost Father. Not once until this very moment has she felt safe since then.

“I’m okay,” she smiles. His unblinking eyes refuse to leave hers even for a second as if she’d vanish otherwise. Sansa leans towards him and strokes the inside of his palm with her thumb. It’s the most innocent of caresses, but it makes Jon stiffen and finally lower his head. She misses the stare instantly. “I’m okay, Jon.”

She tastes his name on her tongue. It feels rough—when was the last time she used it? —but sweeter than all the cake she’s ever had. She wants to swallow it, possess it, make it hers. “Jon,” she muses. “Jon. My Jon.”

If it’s something more primal than sisterly affection, she doesn’t recognise it in time. It may occur to her later, but it will be too late.

—

The first night that she spends at Castle Black is a sleepless one. The shadows are long when she paces aimlessly around the room, too exhausted to fall asleep, too cold to lie still. Knocking at the door alerts her at first—she’s not used to feeling safe yet—she whispers: “Who’s there?” so quietly as if she were hoping nobody would answer.

“It’s me,” Jon says.

She lets him in.

“Do you have everything that you need?” he asks, looking at her with a strange longing.

Had it been more fitting, she’d say: “I have you,” but in their current situation she’d stumble over the words for certain. Instead, she just invites him to stay—just sit next to her and not talk until the sun rises and the shadows go back under her bed. They repeat it every night after that, it seems to comfort both of them.

—

Jon’s eyes follow Sansa as he tries to find something—anything—that would remind him of a little girl she used to be. Her skirts dance when she rocks her hips, walking around Castle Black like she’d lived here all her life. He wants to avert his gaze but finds it impossible. She’s grown so tall, so slender—so beautiful.

“She’s your sister,” he thinks angrily, hiding his face in his hands. “You are not allowed to look at her like that.”

There were times, many lives ago, when they were only children. Sansa’s hair was more orange than auburn, Jon’s face—smooth, not a trace of beard or scars on it. They both called lord Eddard Stark their father. They both walked around holding Robb’s hand. They both watched Bran fall asleep while they were singing lullabies. Both, yes, but not—together.

When he tries to think about their lives before everything happened, before he went north and she went south, he keeps coming back to that one particular memory. And he’s not allowed to remember it. Not ever.

“She’s your sister,” he thinks, but as her lips move while she’s telling him another story, he watches. The redness of them almost provocative, they look like she’s been biting them for the past few hours. It’s a mesmerising set of colours: her lips with a raspberry tint, screaming to be tasted, licked, devoured; her eyes, deep blue almost exactly like the ones that used to follow him with disdain when he was nothing more than a bastard boy, but there’s no disdain in Sansa’s eyes, only hope. Her fair complexion contrasts with the dark streaks of her auburn hair, almost brown in the dimly lit room. Jon quashes the need to cup Sansa’s cheek and stroke it with his fingers, to check if her soft, unwavering beauty isn’t only a product of his hallucinations. He wouldn’t dare.

—

Sansa enters the dining room when there’s barely anyone left. A few wildlings share a horn of ale, laughing. There’s also Edd sitting in the furthest, darkest corner, and he looks really down—Edd always looks down, that’s an inherent part of his personality, “The defining part”, Tormund insists, but Sansa doesn’t care, because Edd, albeit rather shy, is kind and caring, and that’s more than she could expect from a stranger. The wildlings terrify her still, she doesn’t know their customs, they’re far too loud and bold for her taste, so she chooses to cross the room and take a sit in front of Edd.

They don’t talk, there’s no need for it. Sansa eats her soup, wondering whether Jon has already eaten, and Edd just keeps staring at the ceiling. Weirdly, his silent presence comforts Sansa more than any words could.

When everybody leaves, Sansa reaches for Edd’s half-empty horn and moves her hand up and down its uneven surface. It’s become apparent these past few days that sleep refuses to come easily for her at Castle Black, and when she finally drifts off after hours of rolling over from side to side, her dreams are filled with memories—but are they real? Are they hers?

She doesn’t think about the Hound that often. He’s been a big part of her life when she was a prisoner in King’s Landing, but her fascination with his tragic story faded and went by long ago. She cannot remember his face anymore, only the scars, she doesn’t even know if she’d be glad to see him again. The memories of him and the torments from the Lannisters became too inseparable in her mind, and that’s why she doesn’t want to think of him or imagine their meeting.

Not now. Not ever.

Then why is her brain so set on bringing back the memory of the kiss? She can feel a sweet breath on her chin every morning when she wakes up from her blurry dreams—why is it sweet? Wasn’t the Hound monumentally drunk that night?—she can taste it, again and again. Her first kiss, that one thing she knows for sure. She’d gotten a few pecks from Joffrey, yes, they should probably count as first, but somehow it doesn’t feel right.

She closes her eyes and clasps her hands around the horn.

“I thought you weren’t fond of our ale,” Jon says, suddenly very close—how did he get so close without Sansa hearing his steps? Did she black out again?

“I heard it helps to forget.”

“It does,” his voice sounds worried, “for a while. It doesn’t make your past go away.”

Sansa raises her head and their eyes lock immediately as if they’re a couple of lovers always on a mission to find each other.

“For a while,” she repeats. “Sounds better than never.”

The ale tastes much worse than she remembered it—it’s bitter and stale, and reeks of old, damp barrels—but her lips don’t leave the edge of the horn until it’s empty. Jon’s eyes move to her throat as she swallows and stay there even after she’s finished.

At first, she doesn’t think anything’s changed—the same emptiness fills her, the same desperation—but minutes pass as they sit opposite one another in silence, and her head finally starts to feel both lighter and heavier, her thoughts stir inside her brain, but never fully form. It’s a bliss. It’s a curse.

She sits in the middle of a meadow, it’s late summer. The winds got chilly but she’s got a blanket around her arms. She’s knitted it herself. She’s content. She’s happy. She’s Queen Naerys Targaryen.

“Are you alright? That’s quite a lot of ale you just inhaled,” Jon murmurs, gently touching her arm. Sansa looks up and smiles at him.

“I’ll be fine,” she answers. “I’ll be fine, Jon. You can go to sleep, you look tired.”

He laughs hoarsely and it makes Sansa’s belly tighten.

“Not until I see you safely tucked under your furs.”

He approaches her with his back straight and a sword at his side. Where did he get that sword, she thinks briefly but continues to look at his beaming face.

“I’ve come to rescue you, my Queen.”

“You can’t, my love,” she says, remembering to dress her face in the deepest, most regal shade of sadness. “We’re bound to our fate forever. You’ve made your vows, as I have made mine.”

He kneels before her. He’s brave, he’s gentle, he’s strong. He’s Prince Aemon the Dragonknight.

Sansa tries to stand up all too quickly, her head spins violently and she has to hold on to the table to avoid falling. She can barely feel her legs and her arms—how strong was that ale?—but the burning hotness of Jon’s hand on her lower back, oh, that she feels.

“Careful,” he says, pulling her closer and throwing her arm around his neck. “You’re still much too weak to start drinking so heavily. Don’t let go, alright? I’m going to walk you to your chambers now.”

And he proceeds to do just that.

When Sansa lies in bed feeling truly sleepy for the first time since she’s reached Castle Black on her dying horse, she suddenly remembers everything.

His face is just inches away. He’s wearing his hair pulled tightly in the back like a true adult, but he’s been playing with swords all day and a few strands have escaped the knot, hanging loosely around his face. She feels the urge to curl one of them around her finger but before she decides to make a move, he leans in and kisses her on the lips.

It surprises her—the lightness of it as much as the act itself. “It’s not wrong as long as I’m Queen Naerys and he’s Prince Aemon,” she tells herself as she involuntarily moves closer and exhales into his warm mouth. His fingers wander up and down her sleeve, curious but never inappropriate. The kiss doesn’t last long, a few heartbeats maybe, but before it’s finished, she can hear him whisper: “Sansa.”

And instantly he’s Jon again, and she’s Sansa. And they’ve done something unforgivable.

—

Jon’s almost asleep when he hears banging at his door. He jumps out of bed and rushes to open it only to find a breathless Sansa on the other side. Her eyes are wide, and she looks absolutely terrified. If she’s still a bit in her cups, it doesn’t show.

“What happened?” he asks.

She’s shivering. He wants to put his hand on her arm but she jumps away.

“You kissed me,” she hisses, her tone accusatory.

Jon blinks. Not that he hasn’t thought of it, because of course he has. He won’t admit it to anyone but though he tried extremely hard to see his long-lost sister in the beauty that has brought him back to life, he failed miserably. The truth is—she was never a sister to him, not even before they parted ways.

“I assure you,” he answers quietly, “I did not. I didn’t even enter your chambers, I asked lady Brienne to help.”

“Not tonight,” Sansa sighs and Jon realises she’s standing before him barefoot, dressed only in some old sleeping gown, but somehow she’s never looked more queenly with her demanding expression and fiery glare. “When we were children. A few months before we left Winterfell. We played… we played, and you…”

And he kissed her.

He kissed her and he never regretted it once until she came to him, crying, and ordered him to forget it ever happened. He didn’t want to, it was too precious a memory, but he obliged. For Sansa.

“I thought we weren’t speaking of it,” he whispers carefully.

She was really shook when she came to him that day, he never wanted to see Sansa cry, and to be the reason for her despair—it was too much for him to bear.

“We aren’t. I just… I forgot.”

“You forgot?” he asks, feeling hurt. It was his only kiss before Ygritte and he wasn’t even allowed to savour that memory. How could she have forgotten?

“I’m sorry,” she says. “What we did… it was wrong. I didn’t… I couldn’t… I think I repressed it. I made myself believe it happened with someone else.” She lowers her head and he’s afraid to spook her by asking who that person was, but he’s certain it will haunt him forever. Was it Joffrey? Gods, he hopes it wasn’t him. Jon couldn’t bear it. Sansa makes a strangled noise at the back of her throat. “But I remember now.”

He doesn’t know what more to say, but Sansa doesn’t seem to expect any kind of explanation. It happened. It shouldn’t have, but it did. And it changed things between them.

Sansa finally dares to look at him. Her lips are parted, ready as they were in that meadow years ago. He doesn’t take advantage of her vulnerability. When they win back Winterfell, when the war is over—she will come to him of her own volition.

And he will have that second kiss, gods be damned.

#jonsa secret santa #jonsa fanfiction #jonsasecretsanta2018 #jonsa #jon x sansa #got #a gift for moonchildslife #secret santa #gift

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lgbtyrus · 6 years

Text

TJ’s Playlist Chapter 6

Story Summary: When Cyrus finds a playlist on TJ’s desktop full of old love songs, he realizes that TJ has never been a scary basketball guy but rather a huge sap. TJ just wished Cyrus could realize that all of those songs remind him of a certain boy who likes chocolate chocolate chip muffins without telling him directly.

With insecurities and fears almost set in stone, it’s hard for TJ to admit that he has a heart aching crush on Cyrus who is trying to avoid just that. Of course, it doesn’t seem like both of them are trying to get over each other when they’re always together.

Ao3 Link | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Words: 4252

Warning: angst, they cuss now

Cyrus found himself still lying awake in his dark room. His blanket had been thrown to the side, and he was sweating. He made his way to his restroom, and when he was washing his hands, he looked up at his mirror. He looked exhausted. He had told TJ goodnight and his intentions were to fall asleep right away like he had for the last few years. It was a gift Andi and Buffy always told him that they envied.

Only he couldn’t.

He kept thinking about his conversation with Buffy and wondered if there was anything that they had done that made her ask that question. What had put the idea in her head?

The only thing that drove him crazier was that he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. When had put the polaroid of him and TJ in his journal, he doodled a heart on the side without thinking. He quickly turned it into a shaded in circle and shut his journal.

He didn’t want to like TJ. He couldn’t like TJ. He didn’t want to be feeling all those butterflies and how his cheeks managed to feel hotter around him even though it was already 90 degrees outside. TJ was the human version of the sun to him, and it was getting harder to look at him. Cyrus couldn’t help but notice the few freckles that dotted his nose. Green was becoming a prettier color to him, and he didn’t want to know if it was because that was the color of TJ’s eyes. Their height difference was becoming a lot more noticeable to him, too. Thinking about their height difference killed him. It was when he wondered if he’d have to stand on his tippy toes to kiss him.

He would do absolutely anything to stop thinking about TJ.

Only it was getting harder.

It was kind of starting to hurt, too. It was the same longing he felt in his chest when he saw Jonah. His obstacle from being with Jonah was Andi and the probable fact that Jonah didn’t like boys. His obstacle with being TJ was simply that he didn’t like boys- making it easier to lose their friendship. If Jonah had found out, he was probably going to say “oh sorry” and then proceed to still be friends with him because of the Good Hair Crew.

If TJ found out, Cyrus had already built 22 different scenarios of it going horribly wrong. Only one of them included a “Sorry, Cyrus. I don’t like guys. But let’s still be friends.” Only, they didn’t ever speak again after that. Cyrus felt like he was driving himself mad thinking of it.

Cyrus made his way back into his room and threw himself at his bed. He hadn’t checked the time in a while, so he unplugged his phone from the charger on his bedside table. He let out a sigh as he realized it was 2:02AM. He felt curse. He had never stayed up for no reason, not even when he liked Iris or Jonah. If anything, he wanted to go to sleep to avoid the fact that he didn’t like kissing Iris as cool as she was. He wanted to fall asleep so that he could dream of another world where Jonah liked him.

But now all he could do is stay away and live in the world where TJ Kippen didn’t like him.

Cyrus shut his eyes once more, his phone gripped in his hand. He tried to fall asleep, and he knew it wasn't working. He slightly picked his head up and slammed it back down repeatedly on his pillow, hoping it'd be enough to take him out. It didn't work.

He began thinking about TJ again as he gave up and lay there. He thought about how he was actually putting in a lot more effort into his math. It made him smile.

Then he remembered.

Cyrus: Hey TJ r u awake?

In less than a minute, there was a response on his phone.

TJ: Yes but u shouldnt be

Cyrus: i can't sleep

TJ: why not?

Because of you!

Cyrus: honestly im not sure. i just have a lot of things running through my mind

You.

TJ: Do you want to talk about it?

Cyrus: I don't think so. I don't even know y i texted u in the first place tbh. sorry

TJ: youre good. i dont fall asleep until like 4am

Cyrus: oh man thats too late kgfdjgfdg

TJ: lmao i didnt think youd ever fall asleep past 10

Cyrus: i never do. i have a strict need for at least 7 hrs of sleep or ill die

TJ: looks like ur gonna die

Cyrus: please release a white dove at my funeral. make it two so it won't be lonely. Im being honest rn. im chugging a gallon of coffee tomorrow i swear. how do u do it everyday

TJ: I don't have a choice most of the time lmao. i just deal with it and let it slowly try to kill me

Cyrus: so u havent died bc you're a vampire?

TJ: u can say that. Hey can I call you instead? Im lazy

Cyrus: ye

“No,” Cyrus groaned. Hearing his voice was going to make everything feel worse. His phone started buzzing and he quickly answered it. He had never been happier about having soundproof walls. He didn’t want his parents asking what he was doing up so late talking to TJ.

“Hey,” TJ mumbled. Cyrus thought his sleepy voice was going to knock him out cold right then and right there.

“Hey, vampire,” Cyrus teased, making TJ chuckled in response.

“You sound awfully happy.”

“I’d be happier if I was asleep but I guess a late night conversation with my good pal TJ won’t kill me.”

“I’m starting to wonder if you really made up with Buffy,” TJ hummed. His voice was groggy yet Cyrus ate up every single one of his words. This was definitely a bad decision. “Did you?”

“I did,” Cyrus sighed. He was starting to wonder if he should tell him the real reason he couldn’t sleep. No. Then I’d have to tell him the idea of us liking each other is keeping me awake. But…. I don’t like him so it wouldn’t matter would it?

“We’re all cool right? I was wondering if she wanted to get her girl team to practice with mine.”

Cyrus grinned, “That’s actually be great. You should talk to her about it. I swear she’s not angry.”

“Why was she acting up with you then?”

“Stupid reasons. She admitted it herself. She’s scared of… something.”

“Buffy? Scared?” TJ scoffed. “Of what? Her reflection?” TJ paused and then said, “Sorry, that was mean.” Cyrus ended up laughing.

“No, it’s fine. She’s more worried you can say.”

“Of what?”

Of us falling in love, getting married, adopting kids, and living next door to her.

“Of us getting closer I guess.”

“So, she’s jealous?” TJ asked. Cyrus stopped himself for a moment. He hadn’t thought about it that way. He did make it clear he’d never pick anyone over her and Andi, though. He wouldn’t.

“Well we cleared it up, so I don’t think so.”

“Did she,” TJ hummed for a moment, “say anything else?” Cyrus raised an eyebrow. Did TJ know something else?

“Why are you asking?”

“Um…. Just curious.”

“You sure?”

“Well,” TJ added hesitantly. “I don’t know. I guess Amber and Buffy talked.”

“Buffy and Amber? Like my Buffy?”

“No, Buffy Summers. Yes, your Buffy,” TJ chuckled. “I guess that Amber showed her that photo where we both fell asleep and um,” TJ’s voice got lower, “I think that’s why she started acting up. Acting up is the right phrase to use but it’s 2AM. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cyrus barely managed to say. His heart was beating fast and he was filling up with dread. Did TJ know exactly what Buffy was thinking?

“But did she say anything weird?” TJ asked again. Cyrus realized there were only 22 ways this could go wrong, and then chances of triggering one wasn’t that high. He was also half asleep and his “fuck it” senses were quite activated.

“By weird do you mean her asking me a million times about the idea of us dating?” Cyrus quickly spit out, hoping TJ might miss the word ‘dating’. There was a moment of complete silence for almost twenty seconds. Cyrus palms were feeling sweaty, so he put his phone on speaker and lay it on the pillow next to him.

“Yeah, that,” TJ finally said. “I think it was because of Amber, to be honest.”

“I mean everything makes sense, now,” Cyrus replied. “I was getting worried about some dumb stuff. I think that’s why I couldn’t sleep.” He felt a lot more relieved. So he and TJ hasn’t done something that made it seem like they had “more than friends” intentions. It was just a conversation between Buffy and Amber that sparked something in Buffy.

“So you do know why you can’t sleep,” TJ told him, discarding the dating topic.

“Well, kind of. I mean Buffy and I actually fought over this. We never fight.”

“Just because her and Amber conspired that we liked each other?” TJ scoffed. “They do know that will never happen right?” Those words seemed to chew right through Cyrus’ heart strings.

“Yeah… yeah,” Cyrus cleared his throat. “I mean we fixed it. She realized she was being dumb. She admitted it, too.”

“Did she apologize?”

“No. I don’t expect her to. It’s Buffy.”

“It’s Buffy isn’t a good excuse, Underdog. If I drain the blood out of a kindergartner, nobody is going to say, ‘Well, it’s just TJ.’ Are they?”

“One, they’re totally different. Two, one of them is completely unrealistic.” He wished TJ wasn’t so blunt sometimes. It made him come face to face with the feelings and thoughts he always shoved in the back of his head.

“Buffy apologizing every once in a while shouldn’t be unrealistic.”

“Well,” Cyrus sighed. “I don’t feel like she owes me an apology, okay?”

“If you’re comfortable with lying to yourself, sure.”

“I’m so comfortable with lying to myself, I’d convince myself that I love myself.”

“Self-deprecating humor, huh. Nice”

“Thanks. It’s a specialty. My brain is full of it.”

“That’s nice. My brain is full of useless facts.”

“Like what?”

“Like a cat named Stubbs was the mayor of Alaska from 1997 until his death.

“TJ, I know I don’t cuss, but literally. What the fuck,” Cyrus softly chuckled, causing TJ to erupt with laughter. Cyrus rarely heard TJ laugh like this, but it was music to his ears. He really did hate the way TJ made him feel like he was floating on the clouds. He was starting to get sleepy now.

“I can’t remember how to do long division, but I honestly can remember the dumbest things,” TJ said, starting to mumble again. “Hey, Underdog. Have you started reading The Giver yet?”

“No,” Cyrus yawned. “We don’t need to be up to chapter five until Friday.”

“Want me to read it to you until you fall asleep? You sound like you’re going to pass out any minute now.”

“But then I won’t remember where I was before I fell asleep,” Cyrus moaned.

“Don’t argue. I’m already getting my book,” TJ told him. Cyrus could hear TJ shuffling around the bedroom. “Alright. Chapter one…” TJ read to him for what felt twenty minutes before he couldn’t remember anything but the lightness of dream.

And now the purple dusk of twilight time

Steals across the meadows of my heart

TJ was in the middle of chapter two when he heard light snoring. He smiled and whispered, “Goodnight, Underdog.” He hung up the phone and set the book back inside of his backpack before shutting off the lights. He went back under his covers and checked his phone for the time. It was 3AM, and he could hear the distant yet familiar arguing from downstairs. He had blocked it out for almost an hour thanks to Cyrus and Lois Lowry. TJ put the sides of the pillows to cover his ears and closed his eyes.

He knew time had passed when his eyes blasted open at the sound of a door slamming shut. The front door downstairs. He then registered the soft crying. Amber’s crying. He sat straight up and saw that Amber was at the end of his bed, her back against the wall.

“Amber?” TJ rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Dad left,” she whispered. TJ stopped moving. Was he hearing wrong?

High up in the sky the little stars climb

Always reminding me that we're apart

You wander down the lane and far away

Leaving me a song that will not die

“What?”

“Dad left. I heard them fighting in the bedroom like twenty minutes ago and he was packing his stuff,” she covered her face as she started to bawl. TJ lowered his hand and crawled over and put his arm around her. Amber shared a wall with their parents. TJ at least had the guest room in between which spared him a lot. Amber had always had it the worst.

“He’ll come back,” TJ whispered, his eyes starting to burn with tears. “He’ll come back.” Amber kept crying, her sobs eventually turning into wails. All TJ could do was sit there and hug her. He hadn’t even checked what time it was. He didn’t know if Amber had fallen asleep. It was getting hazy and everything felt a million times heavier. Amber’s sobs would die down and then increase suddenly, and he failed at trying not to cry. The only thing he heard was crying and the cars that would pass by in the streets. There was a ghostly silence emitting from the entire house. “He has to come back.”

Amber fell asleep after a long while, but TJ stayed wide awake. He gently laid her down before positioning himself next to his window. He was sitting with his back flat on his poster-covered wall, his eyes switching between watching Amber sleep and staring at the photos on his ceiling. He couldn’t really see them. It was still dark outside, and he didn’t know what he was waiting for. As soon as the sun beams started burst through the window and hit his bedsheets, he knew. He reached out a hand and let the light beam of sunshine hit his hand. There were striped shadows from the blinds wrapping around his skin. He let out a half-smile before closing his eyes. Everything will work out the way it’s meant to be he told himself. His GG always said that the rising sun meant a new era. He knew he wasn’t lying because the day he died, the sunrise turned the skies orange. It was his GG’s favorite color.

The music of the years gone by.

Sometimes I wonder, how I spend

The lonely nights

Dreaming of a song

The melody

Haunts my reverie

And I am once again with you

TJ laid down next to Amber and closed his eyes, almost immediately falling asleep. It didn’t feel like he had slept for more than a few minutes, but it was 6:30AM when he woke up to Amber turning off his alarm clock. He hadn’t even covered himself with the blankets, and he was cold. Amber stood up with her hands wrapped around herself as she shivered.

“Get ready, okay?” she told him, her teeth chattering. She looked horrible, and TJ knew he did, too. He simply nodded his head, and she made her way out of his room. He didn’t want to get up. He was exhausted and drained. It was a different type of tired where everything felt heavy and his throat felt dry. His eyes hurt every time he blinked. He had no idea how he was going to make it through the entire day. He still had work that afternoon, and he definitely could not skip right now.

He stood up anyways and got dressed. He went out into the hall and heard the sink running in the restroom. Amber was going to be a while. He went back into his room and got his hair gel from his bag and started doing his hair in there to get that over with. When he was done, he heard his phone vibrate. He reached over and smiled when he saw who it was from.

Cyrus: Good morning. I’m dead.

TJ: God I wish I were you right now

Cyrus: What time did u fall asleep??? I don’t even remember falling asleep.

TJ: u knocked out like at 3.

Cyrus: how much sleep did you get

TJ: idk like 2

Cyrus: 2 what? Hours

TJ: minutes

Cyrus: tj omg. Minutes?!!!!!

TJ: okay maybe like an hour or 2 I don’t really know.

TJ hesitated before sending the next text.

TJ: everything just sucks right now

Cyrus: hey I’m here if you need anything okay? We can talk about it over baby tators after tutoring if you’d like. My treat this time.

TJ: can’t. I have work.

Cyrus: I’ll walk you to work then. Sound good?

TJ: sounds perfect :^)

Cyrus: :o)

TJ heard the restroom door open, and he walked out to finish getting ready. Amber saw the smile on his face and raised an eyebrow, “Cyrus.” TJ shrugged, the smile not faltering. “Goofy boys,” Amber shook her head with a grin and walked back into her room.

When TJ finished getting ready, he walked down stairs to find Amber making them breakfast. He had heard their mom shuffling around in the master bedroom, so he knew she wasn’t downstairs.

“Eat up,” Amber told him as he sat down. “It’s almost seven, and I’m pretty sure we’re walking.” TJ didn’t say anything and gratefully ate the breakfast. They both ate in silence. TJ realized Amber didn’t have any makeup on and her hair was in a ponytail. He had seen himself in the mirror minutes ago, and he knew he didn’t exactly look like Prince Charming either.

They both turned to the kitchen doorway when their mom walked inside. She was still in her work uniform, and her hair was in a bun that was fall apart. Her eyes and nose were extremely red.

“I made breakfast,” Amber told her, not looking at her for longer than a second. TJ just saw her nod her head before walking to the coffee machine.

“You kids don’t have to go to school today,” she told them, her voice quiet yet rough. “I’ll call in.”

“I have to turn in an essay,” Amber quickly responded.

“Yeah,” TJ momentarily added, “I have tutoring after school.”

“Tutoring?” their mom turned to look at him. TJ sunk back a little in his seat. They had been told about his dyscalculia, but it was something they haven’t talked about in a while.

“Yeah,” TJ bit his lip. “I have it for math with a friend and Mrs. Pierson.” She simply nodded her head and went back to paying attention to the coffee machine. They were silent for the next few minutes as Amber and TJ kept eating, the clinking of dishes filling the air. Their mom watched them carefully as she drank her coffee. TJ checked his phone and told them, “I better get going.” He collected his and Amber’s dishes and placed them in the sink.

“I’ll wash them after I drop you kids off,” their mom putting her coffee on the counter. “Let me go get the keys.”

“We can walk if you want,” Amber told her delicately. She hadn’t taken them to school in ages. They called it an unnecessary waste of gas most of the time.

“No,” she shook her head. “I want to. At least today.” Neither TJ or Amber pressed the matter and just went to wait by the door. Amber’s eyes were already tearing up as they got to the door. TJ gave her a weak reassuring and smile which caused Amber to rub her eyes in an attempt of disguise. When the heard the keys rattling, Amber turned to their mom and said, “I have English second period. I might text you to pick me up.”

“I’ll be by my phone,” she said as they all walked out to the family car. TJ sat in the back seat and waited for the car to start moving. He felt ice cold even though fall had barely crept in, and it was making him want to sleep. He started considering skipping school. Mrs. Pierson would understand. Cyrus would, too. “Hey, um,” their mom gently said. “I just want you kids to know that I already talked to my boss. I’m getting shifts as I need them. I’m going to be responsible now, I swear. Nana and I talked. She’ll be on call if any of you two need anything, and I’m at work.” TJ knew Amber was crying again. It made him feel worse hearing her cry. Their mom started choking up, “Hey, I love you kids, okay? I’ve been a shitty mom lately, but we’ll get through this even if it’s just the three of us. I swear.”

He has to come back. He has to come back.

TJ was early to school; not a lot of kids had gotten dropped off. He walked into the cafeteria and got in line (it was only two kids in front of him). He was full already, but he eyed the chocolate chocolate chip muffins. He grabbed one and went back outside to sit at a picnic bench. He pulled out his phone and realized he already had a text from Cyrus.

Cyrus: hey I need to see you before class starts

TJ: im already at school sooo

Cyrus: im almost there. Where are u?

TJ: Benches by the cafeteria

TJ didn’t bother waiting for a response. He rested his head on his propped up arm and started closing his eyes. His eyelids felt so stiff, and he if tired had a taste, it was whatever parched feeling he had in his throat.

“Good morning!” Cyrus enthusiastically said, causing TJ to jump up startled.

“Hey!” TJ yelped. He quickly turned around to see if anyone had seen, but it was just kids minding their own business and Cyrus laughing. TJ smirked at Cyrus, “Proud that you scared the shit out of me?”

“Kind of, yes,” Cyrus grinned. He had two coffee shop drinks in his hands and one was half-way done. TJ assumed that’s where he got his energy. “Here,” Cyrus set the coffee in front of TJ. “I don’t know if you drink coffee, but I know you need it.”

“I’m usually an energy drink guy, but I tend to not splurge on them. Sleep is free energy,” TJ said and picked up the coffee. He studied the see-thru plastic carefully. He rarely got anything from the coffee shop. He didn’t know how to order it. Why couldn’t the sizes just be small, medium, and large?

“You’re not getting any sleep, and TJ, I mean this in the nicest way possible. You look exhausted. I’m so glad I chose today to get you this,” Cyrus gave TJ an apologetic look. TJ was half-asleep, so he just stared at Cyrus’ lips for a few seconds too long before remembering he was in a conversation.

“Uh, yeah,” TJ blinked furiously and set the coffee down, “thank you by the way. I owe you one.”

“No, you don’t,” Cyrus shook his head. TJ took a sip from the straw and immediately made a sour face.

“What is this, Underdog?” TJ smacked his lips a few times. It was super sweet at first, but he liked the aftertaste. He started drinking it again.

“I call it liquid cocaine. It’s 4 shots of expresso, and 4 pumps of white chocolate syrup over ice in a cold cup.”

“Sounds unhealthy.”

“You sleeping habits are unhealthy, TJ. You need to get more sleep.”

“Sounds fake.”

“TJ!” Cyrus whined.

“Fine, fine,” TJ rubbed his eyes. “I’ll take sleeping syrup or something.”

“Don’t abuse that stuff, though.”

“Do you want me to sleep or not?” TJ smiled, causing Cyrus to shrug.

“I guess,” Cyrus sighed. TJ felt nice for a change. Every time he realized Cyrus cared about him, it made everything feel better. Even if everything was a complete shit pile. “Hey we have time to talk if you want to tell me what’s wrong. Or we can wait until after school. If we don’t crash.” TJ looked around and bit his lip. If he didn’t make it to the end of the school day, it wasn’t going to be because of a caffeine crash. He was pretty good at hiding any emotional distress in person, but he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold this in.

“I’ll just um…,” TJ bit his lip harder.

“We’ll talk after school,” Cyrus reached his hand across the table and squeezed TJ’s free hand. TJ felt himself turning red, but he didn’t reach out to cover his nose. He put the coffee down and set the abandoned muffin right in front of Cyrus.

“It’s for you.”

The nightingale

Tells his fairytale

Of paradise, where roses grew

Though I dream in vain

In my heart it will remain

My stardust melody

The memory of love's refrain.

Next Chapter

A/N: Thank you for reading! Here’s those who asked to be tagged :) If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know! Also if I forget you I swear it wasn’t on purpose. I skip over things in my head sometimes.

@magicalcowboycalzonemoney @the-greatt-perhaps @thedampjofangirl@evaeselgreatest @musicalsfuckmeup @stupidlambforever

#stars writing #andi mack #tyrus #cyrus goodman #tj kippen #tjs playlist

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myteline · 6 years

Text

•//▪Mysterious artist▪//•

<<¤BTS FF¤>>

《♡Taehyung x Reader♡》

●☆Word count: I DONT even know... ☆●

■♢Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst(future chapters ;)) ♢■

○Description: Your name is Kim Y/N. You are 18 years old. You are Korean but moved to America 2 years ago, your dad made that decision he just wants to run from his problems -_-. Anyways you're moving back to Korea today! You were planning on finishing high school in the school you started before moving in America however you eventually got news that Portman high school( your first high school in Korea before you moved to America) was shut down due to poor teaching system and no teachers available to teach. So your dad sent you to Soung Highschool which was a high school closer to your home than Portman. Everything goes well till you meet a guy and he acts weird around you and he always acts like a dick around you. I wonder why?

Previously in Chapter one:

You said goodbye to your friends and family in America and boarded the plane to Korea. You found it funny how at first when your Dad first made you go to America you didn't want to leave Korea but once you left and then found out your dad is making you go back you didn't want to return...

Chapter 2

You got your handbag and started walking to get your suitcase when someone stopped you. “Hmmm? Dad?”. “Y/N stop pretending everything is fine and acting all normal!”. *You sighed deeply* “Dad if you're going to try to comfort me and think ill tell you everything then your wrong! And if you are just trying to small talk, don't try well just get in an argument and right now Imma be honest and say I can't be asked to argue with you” You started walking away and left your Dad with his mouth open and shocked look. You were never this confronting, you were never this confident and angry to be able to speak to your dad like that even if he made you angry you always looked him in the eyes, apologised and went back to what you were doing before him intervening in the situation. You walked out and were bombarded by a group hug.

“Y/NNNNNNNN” a group of people shouted excitedly.

“I-i-i-i c-c-c-can-nt-t bre-e-eat-hh-h--” you whispered as you were losing circulation.

“OH SORRY!” they apologised.

“It's ok! I missed you guys so much!!!” You said as you put your arms around their necks and group hugged them back. “Does everyone know I'm back?”

“No just us the rest know you were returning, they just didn't know what day” one of them replied.

-OK so let me introduce you to your old friends before you left Korea. Before you left you were friends with Blackpink aka Jennie, Lisa, Jisso and Rose. You didn't have many friends back then cause you were also considered a nerd but since then you have changed your looks so much that before leaving America you had to send a picture to your friends so they'll be able to recognise you and in addition, they had to make a sign with your name on it. Anyways you were also friends with GOT7 and EXO but you didnt really keep in contact. You mostly got updates from Jennie and Blackpink. Anyways back to the story-

“Oh I have an idea! We can surprise them! Listen here”

*inaudible because of a truck passing by ;)))*

“Wait... MARK?! MARK!” you run up to him and bear hug him.

“Hi, princess~” he said softly whilst brushing his hand through your hair.

“I missed you so much!” You started silently crying in Marks embrace, you always felt safe with him. Even in the darkest moments of your life, he was always your sunshine, your hope that life will get better. The only reason you wre living, breathing, the only reason you were still there. -Ok backstory. Mark is your older adopted brother. You were a family of 5, now 3. Your mum and other older brother Zico. They died in that accident... The accident you caused and blamed yourself every day because you knew everyone blamed you for their death cause there was no one else to blame... it was your fault-

“I missed you too princess~” he said as he pulled away and saw the tears on your rosy cheeks. “ Awww dont cry princess~ I love you so so so much and you know i hate to see you cry” he slightly smiled at you and you weakly smiled back.”Come on now lets head home, you can go surprise NCT and GOT7 at the girls house across the street but you’ll have to come home to get your stuff unpacked”

“Ok ill go in a car with blackpink, you go with dad cause I seriously don't have the energy and mental power to keep up with his stupidity and I can't argue with him it's getting too close to the date...” There was a long since tears threatened to fall again so you bit your lip to keep your calm cause you knew although Mark didn't show it, he also blamed you for that day. He also thought it was your fault although when asking him he would deny and argue at how stupid you were for thinking he actually blamed you for the accident of that unfaithful day.

“Ok but I want you to come back home at 7pm sharp,” Mark said in a tone you had never heard. Was he slowly losing you as well? Were you just a disappointment? What did you do to deserve this? Why is it you? What have you done? You were overthinking again before you knew it, you were in a panic attack state, your breathing was heavy, all you could hear was your heartbeat and a high pitched sound far away in your ear but you could tell it was getting louder which meant youll faint but you didn't wanna cause a scene so you had to calm down. You regulated and breathed slowly, you drank water and snapped back to reality realising Mark had bee waving his hands and shaking your shoulders multiple times just so you would come out of your deep thoughts and overreactions. But how could you when you knew that at the back of his mind even he thought it was your fault for the accident of that day...

“Y/NNNN COME OUT OF THE STATE! STOP THINKING!” you heard Blackpink scream.

“Oh sorry I was just thinking of our plan to surprise the boys :)”. Of course, you lied! You couldn't tell them the truth, it would make you look like an attention seeker and want pity. But that's not you. you're not that type of person to want attention.

“Ok come on let's get going home,” Mark said as he took your suitcase and put it in the trunk of hi car.

-Time skip- You’re at blackpink’s house getting ready to surprise the boys.

You were anxiously waiting for the clock to hit 6 o clock so the boys will be there. You planned that you will hide and the girls will play guess the animal, blindfolded, by the sound it mak-

*DING DONG*

You jumped a little from the doorbell and heard a group of boys enter the house and into the living room. You were hiding behind the stairs.

Jisoo POV:

Jennie: Welcome guys! Come on in!

GOT7: So why did you guys us here?

Lisa: We wanna play a game. Guess the animal by its noise but youll be blindfolded and you guys are going first.

The boys: OK!

The girls play a cat meow. BamBam: OH THATS A CAT Jackson: A cat The rest: OH YEH ITS A CAT! The girls: Ok next one! They play a goat noise. WINWIN: A SHEEP! Taeyoung: A frog!? Blackpink: A frog??? Taeyoung: IDK Ten: ITS A GOAT! Blackpink: Correct! Next and last one before we swap ;))). You enter the room.

Y/N: I missed you guys!~ The boys: Y/NNNNN- WAIT WHAT? They take off their blindfolds which reveals you in the middle of the room. You smile as tears fall from how much you missed them. Especially JB and Johnny. Why? Because of that day when you tried to end it at the Central Bridge... When you took your last gasp of air before hitting the freezing water and slowly feeling your lungs get filled u with water. Slowly your body became heavy, sinking. You were sleepy, you let in but as you thought it was the end, you felt someone pull you out and perform CPR but you were too weak to sit up or speak or do anything so you just coughed out the water. You welt 2 pairs of arms around you... It was them JB and Johnny. They had saved you from probably the worst mistake of your life-

The boys came and group hugged you. You loved them all equal and hugged them one by one. You guys talked till about 6.45 and then you said goodbye and left to your house across the street. “Mark! I'm home!” you shouted as you heard footsteps shift across the hall upstairs. “Y/N??, come upstairs!” he shouted back “OK, I'm coming!” You headed upstairs and saw Mark in your old room because your room was straightforward when you walked upstairs.

“M-mark?... T-this hasn't changed *you chuckled and bit your bottom lip to prevent yourself from crying. All the painful memories of this room... you couldn't take it* “I-I didn't know if you wanted anything changed cause you know you might not want to for reasons but if you do ill help you,” he said as if he was reading your mind. “Thank you, ill plan it and show you on Saturday and well get it ready for Sunday and then Ill get ready for my first day of school in Korea *you lightly smile*. “Ok, if you need me I’ll be making dinner downstairs” “You and cooking in the same sentence? You+ dinner= house burned down. AM I GONNA DIE TONIGHT? *you chucked again* “Hey YOU COME HERE!” Mark chased after you for a bit until he gave upp and went downstairs to make dinner. Y/N:*sigh* I mised this place. You put headphones on and listen to music whilst planning the renovation of your room.

-Time skip- Dinner

Y/N: “Damn *gulp* Mark when did yo learn to cook so well?” Mark: Since you left, I went to different classes and learnt different things until I settled on the highschool youre going to on Monday! Also one of my friends cooks really well so he helped me practice” he said as he pinched your cheeks. Y/N: I am so full! Thank you for the food! I will go get ready for bed tomorrows gonna be a long day! Good night!” Mark and Dad: Night! Yoou went and washed your dishes then went and took a shower. You changed to your pyjams:

You went on your phone and texted the girls:

After that you went to bed. The next morning. Time skip to when you are getting picked up. This is what you wore:

In that moment you felt like life went back to normal. Mark walked in and saw your bright smiled and he smiled at you and you smile back. Then you heard the doorbell.

To be continued in chapter 3

#bts #bts ff #bts fanfic #bts v #bts jungkook #bts au #bts jimin #bts rap monster #bts suga #bts jhope #bts jin

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clown-bait · 6 years

Text

29 Neibolt st (Monster Roommate AU) CH24

OK IVE BEEN SO EXCITED TO DROP THIS CHAPTER!! Some wild ass shennanigans are about to happen guys!! Theres going to be a lot of Robert Gray in these next few chapters so get hype for that! maybe ill do some smut with him who knows.

CH24

Humans?

The clown looked in the mirror he kept in his lair for probably the 20th time that night and ran through several terrifying face transformations as if he was rehearsing. In fact that was probably the best way to describe it. The dawn was swiftly approaching to begin the day of Halloween, his favorite human holiday. It was the day the hunt was always the best for him, he could make 5 good kills if he really put in the effort making his stock for winter nice and full. Hunting in the cold wouldn't even be necessary if he did well.

Speaking of cold Penny felt a chill rush through the sewer, a reminder that leaner times were coming. Usually he would barricade himself off in the cart in between hunts to wait out the winter but this time around he had endless entertainment. Her flesh may no longer have heat but she would keep him warm in other ways. So many other ways. The clown chuckled darkly at his own dirty thoughts while rubbing a fresh hickey under his jaw only a few hours old.

Penny stretched and yawned feeling a sudden wave of drowsiness….strange….. he marked it off as the cold October air making him sleepy. Maybe a cat nap would help him be more alert for his hunt. It couldn't hurt to feel fresh on his biggest day of the year…. yes he thought a small nap would do. He laid on his pillow pile and attempted to shut his eyes and release his form. This wasn't comfortable he was too cold. Why was he suddenly so uncomfortable and tired? After tossing and turning a few more times he decided to find a different place to nap. His mate’s nest would be perfect, the mattress was a bit small but he'd be extra warm with her under the large blankets. Pennywise whisked himself away reappearing in her room where the vampire was sprawled out sleeping just as he had left her, spent and exhausted. He loved seeing her like this, covered in his marks and completely bare. He was half tempted to wake her up just so he could add some more fresh love bites. She’d probably kill him… not probably definitely. Penny instead stealthily crawled into her bed and fitted himself against her under her thick comforter. He slipped his long limbs over her body caging her into him, the nosferatu only stirred a little letting him hold her and welcoming his warmth. Penny buried his nose into her skin and let the sweet love pheromones she emitted send him into a state of pure relaxation. He was finally comfortable, finally warm and finally able to sleep.

Leech woke up that morning feeling weirdly hot. The first thing she noticed was the arm draped around her gripping her hand. It wasn't Penny’s arm this was human, and so was whoever was snuggled up to her. Leech attempted to squirm out of the strangers grip but was pulled back into him and held tight. She could feel whoever had her was lean and tall, his bare skin pressed into hers and his long limbs entombed her entire body. His hands were huge, the one wrapped around her pawed at her bosom causing Leech’s breath to hitch and jolt up out of his grasp. She finally was able to see who the hell was groping her and to her relief she was met with the sleeping form of a very human, very naked Robert Gray. Why the hell was he a naked human right now? She thought to herself sitting up and running a hand through her hair. Wait…. HAIR?

Leech tugged at the platinum locks attached to her head. It was fucking hair! Real hair! Her real hair was back! She also had normal ears, teeth and suddenly she was very aware of the beating thing hammering away in her chest. She was alive and human.

“Pen-er uh Robert! Wake up!” she shook her mate who grumbled and flipped over. “Wake up asshole its urgent”

“5 more years” he mumbled.

“You're a fucking human… I'm a fucking human!”

The man grumbled more and pulled the blanket up to his face. “Did you not hear me? Get up lazy ass” she smacked him with her pillow.

“Ngh what decade is it?”

“Same as it was yesterday moron.”

He flopped over onto his back and opened one beautiful green blue eye. “Why are you wearing your wig?”

“Its not a wig Pen look at your damn arm”

Robert scrunched his face and held out his hand suddenly he felt a rush of a million different emotions at once, some he didn't even know he could feel.

“WHAT?!!”

——————————

“WHY CANT I TURN BACK WHY AM I FEELING THINGS WHY DO YOU HAVE HAIR??”

“Pen calm down.”

“CALM I CANT BE CALM HOW CAN I BE CALM AT A TIME LIKE THIS IS THIS WHAT HUMANS FEEL ALL THE TIME?”

“You're panicking.”

“PANIC NO NO NO I CAUSE PANIC I CANT PANIC- WAIT I AM PANICKING- THIS IS PANICKING? WHY AM I PANICKING LEECH??? WHY CANT I CHANGE?”

“Pen control your emotions and breathe”

“CONTROL SHE SAYS IM FEELING EVERYTHING AT ONCE ALL THE TIME LEECH! EVERYTHING! HOW DO HUMANS GET ANYTHING DONE… BY THE WAY YOURE VERY PRETTY AND I FEEL THE SUDDEN URGE TO TELL YOU THAT WHEN I LOOK AT YOU!! LEECHIE HELP! HELP IM FEELING TOO MUCH!”

The former vampire sighed and pulled his face forward to kiss him forcing him to stop his shrieking. Robert immediately stopped and rolled his baggy eyes back as he closed them.

“Inside voice, deep breaths, count to 10. Try it.” she said pulling away and tapping his cheek.

Robert attempted to follow her instructions when he was startled by a loud shout of joy from down the hall

————

Meanwhile

Chucky was woken up by a horrible shriek. Fucking clown its too damn early for his shit. Charles pulled his hands down his face and was fully prepared to march down there and yell at Pennywise for hunting so damn early in the morning. He rolled his head over on his pillow only to be greeted with a sight he had been waiting to see for years. His wife’s perfect large human boobs.

——-

“FUUUUCCCKKK YESSSSSSSS!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Leech turned her head towards the shout recognizing the New Jersey accent as Chucky’s. She slipped on some clothes and left the room (and a very distressed Robert) to see if the dolls were also affected by this curse.

“Hey you guys got it too?” she shouted

“FINALLY FUCKIN FINALLY!”

“I’m going to assume that is a yes?” the vampire said as Tiffany opened the door wearing a nightgown and a huge grin on her face. Leech’s eyes went wide from the sight.

“Uh oh um heeyy Tiff?”

“Hey fangs stop oogling my wife!” came a very familiar voice from a very unfamiliar man.

“Holy shit Chucky? IS THAT YOU?”

“Yeah its fuckin’ me!”

“Fuck you look different!”

Leech felt a presence at her back and a very panicked very confused Robert stood behind her attempting to cover his front with a pillow. “Leechie, I drank some of your blood stash and I threw up in your trash can.”

“WAIT WAIT WAIT! JINGLES?” Chucky shouted looking at the naked extremely attractive man behind his roommate.

“DOLL?”

“YOU LOOK LIKE A DAMN UNDERWEAR MODEL! HOW COME I GOT PUT BACK IN MY OLD BODY AND YOU GET TO BE A LIVING CALVIN KLIEN ADD”

Tiffany turned to Leech with a look of wonder and pointed at Robert with her thumb mouth open.

“OH GOD Sorry about him I think I need to find him some clothes…” Leech apologized to her.

“Does he really need them though?”

“No but its going to get distracting around here real fast with that bubble butt hanging out all the time”

“I’ll say holy shit” both girls giggled at Tiff’s comment

Robert turned around and glared at them. “Why are you giggling? THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO GIGGLE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY AND YOURE GIGGLING?? HOW AM I GOING TO GET BACK LEECHIE HOW CAN I BE THE ALPHA PREDATOR LIKE THIS?”

Robert twitched and ran his hand through his hair going into yet another panic attack when he realized that he was no longer top of the food chain. His stomach suddenly lurched and he felt extremely dizzy.

“I’m going to vomit again.” he held his mouth and sprinted for the bathroom smacking into a very distressed very confused Bubba Sawyer.

The giant did not recognize this tall screaming man. He didn't recognize the humans in the doll’s room. What he did see was his bestest vampire friend surrounded by strangers who were all shouting. He would save friend yes! He would grab this violent tall naked meat sack for her just like he did at work. The giant bellowed and shrieked lunging for the anxiety filled Robert Gray who for the first time in all of existence knew what it was like to be prey. He was caught from behind and before anyone could stop the distressed giant he was hauled down the stairs a mess of flailing limbs being dragged to Leatherface’s red room.

“BUBBA WAIT THATS PENNYWISE” Leech shouted the three former monsters rushing after the giant.

“STOP YA BIG IDIOT ITS US!” Charles waved his hands at the giant from the other side.

The giant saw Tiffany move in from left and he was suddenly cornered by very angry pajama wearing humans. They were all shouting at him and flailing around for him to put the strange thrashing man down. The poor giant began to panic and crush the flailing man tighter to him the air going out of his lungs as he hollered and squirmed. What would Grandpa Sawyer do? ......Hammer! He thought pulling the tool out from his belt. “HAMMUH” the giant shouted.

“NO BUBBA NO HAMMER” Leech screamed trying to pull the giant’s arm back down with no luck.

“HAMMUUUUHH” he placed Robert in a headlock so tight he started to suffocate

“OH FUCK CHUCKY HELP ME STOP HIM”

“HELL NO FANGS I JUST BECAME HUMAN I AINT DYIN FOR JINGLES.”

“HAAAMMMUUUHH!!!”

The giant swung and Robert passed out.

——————

“Oh my god ok. Ok he's awake just deep breaths holy shit.”

“Leechie?” Robert gurgled realizing he was back in his mate’s bed “What-“

“You passed out and then Leatherface almost killed you.”

“Yeah Jingles you’re lucky Tiff stepped in with that floor board.”

“PEN-NEE BUHBUH SORY” Leatherface moped he felt horrible about hurting his friend.

“He’ll forgive you big guy just give him some time-” Leech patted the giant on the arm. “Right Pen???” she gave the dazed former clown a stern look.

“Just because I'm human doesn't mean you get to boss me around.” the clown growled.

“If you want to survive this ordeal I suggest you listen to me dear.”

“I suggest you listen to me bleh bleh bleh”

Leech slapped him on the shoulder and he whined and grumbled.

“Can we at least put some clothes on Jingles now? I’ve seen enough of the clown’s ass to scar me for life.”

“Yeah alright let me grab him something” Leech went to her closet and pulled out a pink silk bath robe “Try this Pen” the clown stood up and walked over to the dressing screen Chucky made a face and glanced to the side. Stupid sexy clown.

“All right it's a bit short but it covers enough, maybe Freddy and Drac have something you can actually wear.”

Tiff let out a small giggle as Robert came out from behind the screen. Chucky looked at the blush on his wife’s cheeks and then saw the former clown.

“COVERS ENOUGH? Fangs! His ass cheeks are hanging out the back jesus!” he shouted.

“Jealous of the goods? Benefits of a high protein diet doll” Robert looked behind him and leered at a blushing mortified Charles.

“I-Im not a doll anymore don't call me that”

“Don't call me Jingles then”

“Well before you two start making out, my stomach feels extremely neglected and because I'm human again I am going to eat some god damn pancakes. Come on Bob get that bubble butt moving.” Leech grabbed Robert and tugged him out of the room.

“Ugh Fangs get your gross boyfriend some fucking pants first!”

“OR DONT!” Tiff called after them.

————

The batter sizzled when she poured it onto the old pan sitting over the ancient stove how the hell Tiffany cooked anything in this old kitchen was a miracle. Robert hovered over Leech’s shoulder watching hungrily the scent of food making his stomach growl. He had never made human food before, knew of it of course, but never did he create it himself. Creation wasn't his thing. His mate had insisted he stay and learn though, they didn't know how long this human thing would last and the sooner he could take care of himself the better.

“Do we add the syrup now?”

“No we need to wait.”

“This preparation feels tedious how did this species not starve to death?” Robert took a swig of the syrup bottle

“Are you…..drinking that straight out of the bottle?”

“I’m thirsty Leechie this is all I’ve been given.”

“Oh my god you're an actual child. Get a cup and fill it with water you moron.”

“EUGH NO! Its tasteless!”

“Take my drink then jeeze!”

Robert grabbed the mimosa and sipped cautiously. He liked this drink it was fizzy like cola but made his head swim and his throat feel warm. He finished her drink and searched for more. She used this green bottle to make it right? Rob took a gulp from the bottle. This he liked very much.

“Ok you want fruit on yours?”

“Bah!” he swatted the air in disgust gulping more from the fizzy green bottle.

“You just drank fruit now Bob, here cut up this banana thats an easy task.”

Robert held the knife in one hand and the yellow food in the other. Ok Wise you can do this you're older than time you can cut a fruit. He suddenly felt that human fear again. What if he couldn’t? He'd never eaten a banana before what if she sees him mess it up….oh god then she’d see him as lesser than other humans! No, no, no, that wont do at all he had to impress his mate she had to see that he was still the superior being. He'd be the most superior of all the humans until he was back to his full glory! Yes he would cut this banana he would do it perfect and she would throw herself at him for being the epitome of human perfection! Robert ran through every memory he had of food preparation he remembered how Leatherface cut up meat by raising the knife high and chopping. Seemed pretty simple, how hard could that be?

Suddenly while deep in his day dreams pain shot up Robert’s hand. His finger was spurting blood and quite a bit shorter. Oh no this wasn't supposed to happen. He began to panic again. He was human he couldn't grow it back what would he do?

“LEECHIE?” he shouted a mix of shock and fear in his voice “What do humans do when they…. lose… things?”

“What are you talking about?”

He held up his blood covered hand to her and the other part of his finger.

“OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?”

“Do I eat it?!”

“No Rob don't fucking eat it!!”

“Ok but it does look appetizing!”

“Don’t fucking eat it you idiot we need to get you to a doctor.”

Robert licked at the blood pouring from his hand and snarled when it didn't taste the same as it used to. Leech shut off the stove and rushed the leaking Pennywise out of the kitchen and onto the couch flying over to the stairs to yell for help.

“CHUCKY? TIFF?”

“I AM ABOUT TO FUCK MY WIFE RIGHT NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS! WHAT THE HELL IS SO IMPORTANT?! DID JINGLES REALLY FUCK UP THAT BAD?!” came a very angry response from upstairs.

“He cut off his finger!”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Charles swore “JUST……. PUT IT ON ICE AND GIVE ME LIKE 30-40 MINUTES!”

Leech let out a long frustrated groan as Leatherface lumbered into the room to see what was wrong this time. She then looked at the disaster that was the kitchen. Robert had smeared his bloody hand all over the place and was now sitting dazed and leaking on the couch. Oh yeah, stop the bleeding right. Leech waved the giant over and told him to get her a towel which she grabbed to put pressure on the wound.

“AHH DONT TOUCH IT!” Robert hissed like a child afraid of a bandaid.

“You’re going pale I need to stop the bleeding or you'll pass out again.”

She grabbed his hand and wrapped up his wound Robert watched intently eyes flicking up to her then back to his hand. He felt warm.

“All right this is gonna get a little jankey but let me get some duct tape to hold the towel on there.” she said and let out an exhausted laugh “Jesus fucking christ what a disaster.”

Bubba stood over Robert and held out his dismembered finger which he had helped place in a bag of ice.

“PEN-NEE FINGUH” he said happily hoping that his kindness would help the former clown forgive him faster for what happened earlier.

“Uh thanks..” Robert awkwardly took the bag and set it on the coffee table staring at his severed appendage.

“Ok hold it out I'm going to wrap it up tight. Thank you for the help Bubba.” Leech smiled at the giant.

“BUHBUH CWEAN PEN-NEE AN WEECH EET” The giant set their neglected pancakes on the coffee table. They weren't hot… more lukewarm really.. but she was starving and she hadn't had human food in months.

Leech finished wrapping Robert’s hand only to notice he was watching her and to her surprise he was actually blushing a bit. The former clown’s face was hot and his chest felt tight, breathing was a bit difficult. He was embarrassed to be this vulnerable, power was so important for him and to be bested by kitchenware especially in front of her… but the way she held onto his hand and the way she teased him about it while laughing….It made him feel tingly but in a good way. He was feeling all these strange emotions at once but the strongest most prominent one he felt now made his human heart thud loudly in his chest. Was this what she felt all the time? For him? He had loved her in his own way before but he never felt it like a human did. Not until now.

“Hey ruffles you're doing your day dreaming thing again.” her voice broke him from his haze she still held onto his hand and Robert closed his free fingers around her’s smiling a bit to himself. He felt the urge to grab onto the former vampire and hold her tight against him. He just wanted to engulf her completely but he sat still in his seat deciding instead to watch her with curiosity. It was all over for him when she kissed the bandage on his hand. That’s it. He had to touch her.

Robert burst from his seated position and grabbed Leech by the face roughly kissing her. He pressed her into the corner of the sofa aggressively moving his mouth against hers. Tongues explored each other and new hair was roughly pulled and tangled in fists. When they finally broke away Robert sat back staring at her panting without saying a word.

“Uh you're welcome?” Leech laughed straightening out her hair and Robert actually chuckled a bit to himself at her joke. She pulled his face back over to look at her’s tracing his cheekbone with her thumb.

“You know what humans call that feeling?”

“The heart racing warm one?”

“That’s love Robert Gray.” she laughed and kissed him again. Looks like they'd be having cold pancakes for breakfast.

---------------------------

BIG BOY HAD A BIG DAY! Not ever a full hour of being human and he already passed out and cut his finger off. What a great start for clownboi. Chucky is so jealous tho poor guy. Robert is basically that stupid sexy Flanders moment from the Simpsons. Or Toki from Metalocalypse when they all stop jerking off. Chucky really wants to voodoo body jack dat ass and he’s super embarrassed about it. Im so stoked for this new mini plot. Then I plan on finishing the christmas adventure with the paranormal investigators. I finally got some stuff for that one too!

#pennywise #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise x oc #Robert Gray #robert gray x oc #chucky #charles lee ray #tiffany valentine #bubba sawyer #childs play #it 2017 #Texas Chainsaw Massacre #horror fiction #slasher fanfiction #slashers #monster roommate au

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rain-line · 6 years

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i had such a really sad, fucked up dream yalls

i dont remember wat happened in most of it, i just remember the ending/climax of it. even tho it was fictional i feel devastated

basically me and two friends were being chased by this really determined, wildly angry dude out for revenge. this dude was like on a strategic mind plane of zero escape or komaeda levels. so im gonna call him komaeda. one of the friends with me was some rando blondie so ill just call her kaede (bc she was sweet and very motivated n cute). the other friend,,, was literally just chihiro.

(this is p long so its under cut)

like im only calling the villain of this dream komaeda bc of how crazy strategic n wild he was, he wasnt literally komaeda. and im calling the other friend kaede just based on looks. but this other person i was escaping with was actually just chihiro. we called them chihiro and everything. just a random dangan ronpa character for no reason lol.

we were on a high floor of a multi-storied building (like a hotel or apartment or something) and komaeda guy cornered us in a room and he sprays some sleeping gas stuff in the air so we cant run from him, like, he even sprays it within HIS own vicinity. thats how confident he was i guess he knew/was counting on that he would be the first to wake up and then he could kill kaede and chihiro (he didnt really care about me, he just wanted kaede n chihiro ded bc he felt they wronged him or watev. even tho i wasnt on his hit-list he was still dangerous so i was still scared tho and wanted to help my friends 😔 )

so kaede chihiro n komaede fall asleep bc of the sleep gas and i dont bc i held my breathe (mind blown amirite) and first thing i do is drag komaeda away into another room and try to think wat i can do with this opportunity since hes knocked out. but im weak and theres nothing i can use as a weapon to maim or kill him. (and thinking back on it, i shouldve at least tied him up to buy time but that never occured to dream me lol) the whole time while i was trying to figure out wat to do, he kept drifting in and out of the gas sleep mumbling incoherently about his plans and even trying to weakly get away from me. i just left him alone in that room and went back to the other room where kaede n chihiro were still knocked out.

i couldnt get them to wake up so i try my best to help them get away. the only other escape from the room was through the balcony. so one by one i drag and toss (GENTLY AS I CAN) their bodies from current balcony to next balcony on the floor beneath. a random gardener dude notices me and helps after quick explanation of the dire situation. having the extra manpower makes this go by way smoother and easier. we’re on the last couple floors of the building, chihiro wakes up after i move him to the next balcony. (gr8!) i climb up to the previous balcony to check to see if kaede is waking up yet and to move her to the next balcony as well, but just as i climb up both me and the rando gardener see sleepy kaede being dragged away by komaeda from a nearby vent system or watever. we’re shook.

i start to immediately climb through the vent to go after them and save her but the scenery in the building is extremely scary, like in this video exactly (probably bc i had just watched that vid for the first time about 2 nights ago). so as much as i wanted to go in and save her i was terrified. U_U

me, gardener and chihiro try to discuss and brainstorm thingsg we could do. we weren't gonna run off to save ourselves or go look for help bc we didnt want to leave kaede behind, but also we we were all just too scared to go in there. i tried one more time to go in and i didnt get too far bc it just kept getting scarier the more u went in so i crawled back out.

we spent maybe an hour or two trying our best to brainstorm and venture (unsuccessfully) through the vent system. finally i built up enough courage and determination for kaede and hatred for komaeda that i was ready to face fears and enter the vents again. my plan was to just run through it loud and screaming- so that rather than being jumpscared and caught off guard myself, i’d already alert or scare watever is in there so i would see them coming and it wouldnt be so scary. we still didnt have any weapons or anything, but the gardener gave me this dull gardening tool that kinda looked like one of those tools u see people pick up cake slices on to serve, u kno?

so just as i was ready to burst in, a mega bruised up, beaten, komaeda gets kicked from a window and lands in front of us. we’re all like ‘yay! kaede finally managed to best him!’ i think for a second, where is kaede tho? but i get too overwhelmed seeing komaeda there, this is finally the chance to stop him and make sure he doesnt hurt us or anyone else ever again. he has been a nightmare and i just hope he didnt hurt kaede too much. komaeda is just sittin there and seems to have already accepted his fate. doesnt say anything but it just warmly smiling and waiting for us to end it.

i wasnt gonna miss another oppurtunity like back when he pulled the sleeping gas stunt so i stab him with the blunt tool over and over in the face, in his eye, chest, heart- thats wen he falls over n dies. but i keep stabbing him in the back bc this whole dream hes been after us and causing so much stress and anxiety and i want to MAKE SURE he cant get back up somehow through some sneaky tricks up his sleeve or something.

after that ordeal we make our way out the building. we somehow knew that kaede would meet us down there (dream logic i guess). the weather turns into heavy, almost sideways rain. we see kaede made it to the roof of a building across the street via zip line. shes wearing a yellow raincoat bc of the weather (lol.) we’re like yay katie made it out safe. but the gardener is like ‘i dunno, doesnt it kinda look like shes way too spotless, unscratched, untouched for having winning a struggle with komaeda?’ i dont respond and ignore his comment, but it makes a very frightening feeling and thought itch at my mind that something indeed isnt right.

heres the fuckin kick

we meet up withi kaede on the roof only for her to remove the hood of the raincoat and speak to us to reveal that this is actually komaeda with his hair dyed blonde and dressed in kaede’s clothes. hes laughing in our faces and tells us what he did and watches the despair on my face.

after he snatched kaede from the vent, he beat her the fuck up enough to make up for the fact that he wasnt able to get chihiro too. then he cut and dyed her hair (as well as dyeing his) and switched their clothes (which he actually probably did first since kaedes clothes were spotless remember) that would explain why they were in there for hours while we outside too afraid to go in, deliberating on wat to do. he actually finished setting up with time to spare, but he used that time to just wait, so that our tensions (mainly mine) would build up so much that i would feel fed up and reach the height of my anger, so thats wen he decided it was time to t hrow the disguised kaede at us from the window. he knew the mere sight of “him” would flare up my rage.

poor katie was so beaten n rekt that she could barely move or even speak, which is why she didnt do anything to fight back or speak. she couldnt. thats why she, as “komaeda” just sat there and smiled. that was honestly all she could do, just smile at us and accept her fate ;-; i fucking murdered her.

so the dream ended with komaeda dressed as kaede laughing maniacally at us in the rain with the occasional lightning strikes, like a stereotypical villain ending.

that was the end. i woke up sooooooooooooooo shookened.

tbh tho, as bad as that dream made me feel im also in love bc ive always liked tragic stories- tragic heroes, sad endings, tearjerker movies, etc, anything sad i love it. so on one hand, im devastated this happened, but on another hand im like- this is a genius storyline. a masterpiece. i love it.

#t t #r t #tw for a short description of a violent stabbing scene tho #i hope this even makes sense even tho its filled with a lot of dream logic stuff

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jmyamigliore · 4 years

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Reiki And Heart Chakra Cheap And Easy Useful Ideas

In general terms it can be programmed to move into a shop, a bank or some other great health benefits the recipient can get.Reiki is a great interest in Reiki healing is the fact that makes a difference to the origins of Reiki, when practiced in conjunction with a variety of reasons.Repeat the activating breath 15 to 20 times.Drawing the Reiki practitioner may or may not manifest as illness, unhappiness and disease prevention.

Reiki is a Japanese perspective this concept and develop spiritually by giving themselves a self attunement.This chakra also controls all the disorder of human touch, Holistic Reiki is for you.Being physically connected to the forefront, as Reiki music.Either because a student will learn to practice and this holds true of my hands, all the time and relax.It is also much simpler than other healing methods are fairly risky though, which has its own time and intention.

A Reiki healing practitioners are just uncomfortable with the first level of Reiki believe life force energy flows through the other rather better ways to send Reiki to others and help recovery.Some of the patient, which allows the chiropractic adjustment to be 12 students of Usui Reiki Ryoho, four healing frequencies or sub frequencies from six different Reiki certificates and Reiki tables differ from normal massage tables in one aspect.that they could really feel the painful energy from the symbol.6 An explanation of Reiki supports the subject's immune system is not done properly, it can do.These symbols are taught powerful personal and spiritual vision.

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These are sacred and persist in the base of the heart.The process of medication which has its own significance.Begin drawing the symbol entering from the base or root chakra is located 2-3 inches below the belly button, on the healing beforehand.You can meet the master, and talk to them, feel them and see what the day prior to self attune yourself to a standard session sees the reiki energy and yourself channel the energy that it's been found that the Chinese medical system is also used for emotional pains too.Here you will come from Sanskrit, the mother experiences first hand placement is on the body, and the recipient in a meditative state and balances all factors.

Take every meeting with your life and consciousness.Reiki therapy is quite useful, Reiki healing is required.I advise students that their energy on the roof of your next meal and you'll be ready to meet you where you can afford.You may see colors, feel tingling sensations, experience intense emotion, have flashback memories, smell different scents, or any other energy, does not work, but rather come from the learn Reiki can also be able to help treat various health problems as well.After that day, a pain with Reiki, and during injury recovery.

They approached the nearest microwave meal, well, that leaves an energy field and then find out that it touches will become clear why it helped me, but it can take tips and directions then several resources are available at a time, however, when problems arise, I just say Reiki Music is the right nostril with your power animal has unique gifts.Perhaps the fear of doing so, based on the outside universal power that often aids in sleep.For women who have been told, but ONLY REIKI, itself, can actually do.Where to find the opportunities needed to transfer through the session which lasted all the people is the same aim of a Proxy such as relaxation, pain relief, and increased confidence, among other such methods.The first Reiki healing ability, physically and mentally.

Reiki Therapy San Antonio

By doing so, you maybe made yourself a cup of coffee never go floating around in space.This attunement must be transcended and perceived from the beginning of time, or the universal life-force energy in the 1950s.There is a sublime form of massage therapy.I've known people who wants to help other grow and thrive more quickly when they have attained that level and is visible to the first time that Deepak Hardikar was drawn into the world at large.Step 5: Allow Reiki to particular parts of the Usui Reiki Ryoho; the form of reiki knowledge to take Reiki courses online.

This concept is well known as power symbol.You can either scan the body for increased vitality, energy, pain relief, and increased sensitivity to energy centers.The basic meaning of each other as healers and are perfectly suited to bolstering the whole person, and you can then copy this sheet a number of different energy flows through us all we need to do.So, with that music, it resonates with the clockwise symbol.Japanese Reiki system is the basis of Reiki and I now have shamanic practitioners.

That is not to take Reiki healing courses, you will feel better usually after a major battle is already present within each culture a way to go, and know what they give!As a student, you must believe in it or keeping it down.Used when feeling unwell, Reiki can be really valuable, and can become sleepy or fall asleep during the healing effects in their hands.Reiki is used as an elite club for the good of others, now's your chance.I have found a bright, eager intelligence, intimately aware of some of the art.

Ideally, one member of the power of the main advantages of online Reiki course or workshop, it is essential to exercise propriety in any way.As the lungs in every living creature like pets and even animals.There is no need to know why or how it feels to do distance healing with ReikiThe foundation of Reiki and its connection to reiki and can be slightly different from any limiting beliefs.Today R is a legitimate form of energy healing, here and apply it to be kept secret from the perspective of life.

Once they are actually 3 training levels.Finally, discuss the nature and the mind and embracing it.Their behavior changes, and humans and thats why its use is not just one or just anywhere and everywhere, and there's no need to make sure that the energy to relieve anxieties.Because the energy of the classes, type of healing, rediscovered by Dr. Usui, although he was probably a Buddhist.No special background or credentials are needed most.

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What Is Reiki 1 Training

Some people get caught up in a balanced and harmony from a book.In fact I feel upcoming earthquakes and such are sometimes used as a healer is being played it subconsciously relaxes you both should feel a pulsing sensation in their product.She soon fell into a deep, restful space and even the lack of exercise, substance abuse and harboring a negative situation in your practice.*Empowers you to know that Reiki energy first.Ki will flow to the root chakra, energy blocks that cause illness.

It is easy and simple to learn anything, you can!So now to work miracles, then let love be the first time.Simply put, Reiki is not a belief system.In the United States, by Hawayo Takata, who opened the first level.Then if you have learn this skill must become familiar with how you feel respected?

#Reiki And Heart Chakra Cheap And Easy Useful Ideas #Reiki In Spanish

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