#also for that horrendous map

[steelycunt]

losing my mind at eleven pm last night trying to scour the internet to figure out the route a guy living in talgarth wales would take to get to london victoria if he were to travel via national express coach in the year of 1979. the things i do for him

[centaurisolarflare]

König NSFW Headcannons

It’s the quiet ones; it’s always the quiet ones. NSFW, obviously, minors DNI (SFW headcannons here). A lot of x reader babbling because I am down horrendous for this man. Again, this got incredibly out of hand, and I needed to just stop. Enjoy the filth, my loves.

- I wholeheartedly believe this man is amazing at foreplay. Maybe it’s inadvertent, but he wants to experience as much of you as he can for as long as he can. He loves just kissing you and feeling your body move against his, he wants the time to trace over every inch of you. He’s fascinated by the way your muscles and bones move under your skin and he loves mapping out any freckles/moles/marks/scars/etc you have.

- Treats sex like a skill, something he can hone, something he will make himself good at it for you. He catalogs your responses, memorizes your facial expressions, and takes careful note of how each touch affects you. He wants to be deliberate about how he makes you feel; he puts so much effort into learning how your body reacts to him until he’s an expert at taking you apart piece by piece.

- Praise this man. Do it. All the time. Tell him how good he’s doing, how sweet he is, how good he makes you feel, how beautiful he looks. He’ll blush and duck his head, but he thrives on your words.

        -- He’ll whine when you grab his jaw and make him look at you. Make him repeat your praise back to you, make him say that he’s so pretty, that he’s such a good boy, make him say he’s yours and yours alone. Make him stumble through the compliments and clench around him when he’s nearly got the words out properly; laugh when he cuts himself off with a gasp and moans and flexes his fingers into your skin, and make him say the praise again.

- Marks. He wants them and wants to give them. He wants dark bruises that are impossible for him to ignore with the way they ache every time he moves his neck. He wants bite marks everywhere and he wants scratches on his back and arms. He doesn’t mind if you make him bleed with your nails or teeth; he wants to keep the stinging feeling for as long as possible. Definitely the type to press his fingers hard against his bruises to feel them hurt and to make them stay longer. When they eventually do fade, he wants you to give him new ones immediately. If you want marks too, he’ll go just as feral on you.

        -- Can’t think straight when you unabashedly show off the marks he gave you. Because he knew he was doing then, he knew there’d be marks when he was sucking and biting at your skin again and again. He knew there’d be bruises where he held onto you a little too hard. But you’d moaned so sweet and told him to keep going, to cover you, and how could he have refused? Now, in the light of day, in public, with people around, he can’t help but flinch at the openness you share them with the world. Because people see. Fuck, people stare at the patchwork of mottled bruises and aggravated blood vessels on your neck, your chest, your collar bones. At the line of dark hickeys stretching from just below your ear, down the beautiful line of your throat, across your chest to where they disappear under your shirt. At the clear shape of his fingertips bruised into your hip when your shirt rides up as you reach for something – something you didn’t even have to reach for because he’s right here and the size of a fucking mountain. You just grin and wink when he puts a hand on your side and grabs the thing for you, and he goes beet red because that’s- that’s how you got that bruise in the first place, from his hand sprawled out against you, fingers gripping into your soft flesh, and his head is fuzzy with it as he snatches his hand back. And you go about your business cool as can be, as if you’re totally unaware of the people around and what you’re doing to him. You’re in a grocery store for fucks sake. It’s agonizing and he’s so conflicted because he’s so antsy about the attention, but he also just wants to mark you up even more. People see and they see you with him and they know. They know he did that to you; they know you let him do that to you. They know, and he feels half wild with it, a little drunk with how they know you’re his because you’re showing them you’re his.

        -- He likes giving you hickeys even in non-sexual situations too – for example, if you’re sitting in his lap reading, he’s got his nose pressed against your neck and he’s mouthing at the side of your throat and across your shoulders, and you just end up with several bruises sucked into your skin. He just really likes doing it.

- Before being involved with you he actively tried to ignore his body. Being so tall and imposing served him well for his jobs in the military, and his muscles were a product of maintaining that use, but outside of work his build was just something that drew more unwanted attention to him. The first time you got his shirt off you took a stunned moment to step back and sweep your eyes over him, and he was immediately on edge. The nervous feeling, the anticipation of your disapproval, half dissipated when you locked your bright eyes on his with a sharp grin and yanked him down into a hungry kiss.

        -- The first time you saw his cock he would have laughed – if he weren’t so nervous – at the wide-eyed, parted-lips look you gave him. He jumped in surprise when you took him in your hand and groaned at the feel of him. He timidly asked if you were alright and nearly laughed again when you rushed out a breathless string of “König there’s no fucking way you think this is average, I’m going to kill you if you think this is normal, I’m literally going to sue if you’re unaware of how fucking big you are, fuck”. He didn’t respond verbally, but shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “how should I have known?” and does start smiling at your incredulous grumbling. Nothing had prepared him for the dark stab of heat through his gut when you looked your pretty eyes up at him and said, with all the earnest sincerity in the world, “You’re gonna split me in half, big boy; I’m gonna feel you for days.”

        -- Now he can’t get enough of watching your face as he pushes his cock into you. The way you whine as he guides your hips down. He is mesmerized by the visible bulge in your stomach when he’s all the way inside of you, watching it reappear each time he sinks into you – he pressed his palm flat down on it for the first time and nearly came right then and there when you choked out the most pathetic, keening noise he’s ever heard and scrabbled to grab at his biceps.

        -- Fucks you against the wall, holding you up with his hands tight on your waist, sliding you down on his cock like you’re a fucking toy, listening to your punched out gasps each time he fills you.

        -- He loves how he has to take his time getting even his fingers inside you.

        -- Loves how he can easily hold both of your wrists in one hand and how large his hands look against your body

        -- Loves when you’re on top and you settle into his lap, gasping for air because you swear you can feel him in your fucking throat, panting against his neck about how big he is. When you push his shoulders down and splay your fingers out across his abdomen and bounce in his lap. When you make him hold his arms above his head – looking down at him as you take his cock again and again – telling him how good he is, how pretty he looks letting you use him, the stuttered “y-yes ma’am” he manages to choke out when you ask him point blank if he likes getting used like this, if he’d let you ride him until you’re satiated but he’s still hard and aching.

        -- Fucked you in front of a mirror – both of you on your knees, you in front of him between his thighs, with one of his arms banded across your stomach, his hand covering your hip, and the other up around your throat with his forearm pressed against your chest – and, fuck, it nearly ruined him to see how his body dwarfed yours. He held you tight against his chest, occasionally ducking his head down to suck busies into your throat and shoulders, but he mostly made you keep your eyes on him through the mirror. Watched the way your breath hitched as he fucked into you, the way you wanted to crumple forwards when he snaked his hand down between your legs but the other hand around your throat kept you upright, murmuring against your ear about how beautiful you are and how you take him so well.  

- All the above size kink shenanigans being said, he won’t fuck you until you’re ready for it. No matter how desperate you are, how much you beg him to just put his cock in you already, he won’t. Not until he’s worked you open with his fingers and tongue and he’s absolutely sure he won’t hurt you. He furrows his brows with this cute little frown when you beg him and promise you’ll be fine, like he can’t believe how desperate you are for his cock, and tells you how “no, you are not supposed to be this tight, it will not feel good for you, let me relax you, let me make you feel good”

        -- And on that note, he loves you absolutely dripping for him. Slick and hot and already sensitive. He wants you close to crying for it by the time he pushes his cock into you.

- He will shove his fingers in your mouth and press down on your tongue as he fucks you.

- He fucking loves eating you out. Like to an obsessive degree. He’s gotten so damn good at it that it’s impossible to say no. Sometimes when his mind is too busy and too fast, he just wants to lick into you until all he can focus on is how you taste, your hands tugging at his hair, and the sweet noises you make for him. He’s gotten off so many times rutting against the sheets just from having his head between your thighs; the first time it happened he was so embarrassed, and you were just stunned and amazed that he came practically untouched from how much he enjoyed pleasuring you like that, you had to reassure him that you weren’t mad or disappointed and he got so sheepish when you explained exactly how hot it was.

        -- This man wants you to sit on his face so fucking badly but he’s too shy to say anything. The moment you bring it up or ask him about it he is hauling you up his body, desperate to get his mouth on you. Doesn’t let you hover, he wraps his arms up around your legs, fingers digging into the soft flesh on the inside of your thighs, and pulls you down until you settle your full weight on him. Eats like he’s fucking starved, cannot get enough of the taste of you. He’ll watch you the whole time he does it, starring up at you with such a blaze in his eyes that it’s honestly a little frightening, he’s so intense about it but he just doesn’t want to miss any of how beautifully your body shakes for him. You’re reminded of his sheer strength when he won’t let you up; he doesn’t even bother with words, he just makes a dissatisfied noise against you and seals you down with an iron grip. You’ll literally have to be crying from overstimulation and yanking at his hair to get him to take his fucking mouth off you.

- I think he’d prefer to give you oral but of course he loves when you suck him off, seeing you look up at him through your lashes and wrap your pretty lips around his cock. Loves watching you struggle to take as much of him as you can.

        -- When you first started giving him blowjobs, he had no idea what to do with his hands and even when you told him he could touch and even pull your hair he was so afraid of hurting you.

        -- Holds your jaw/cheek and hair so gently, even when his hands are shaking and he’s fucking into your mouth. He’s downright ashamed of how much he likes it when you take him too far and gag, how he loves seeing the tears gather in your eyes when you try to take him in your throat.

        -- Loves when you’re mean about it – jerking him off and sucking the head of his cock until he can’t stand it but not letting him cum, popping off him with a filthy wet noise, asking him what’s wrong as he gasps and bucks his hips because you’re rubbing your thumb over his slit and it feels so good but he thinks he’s going to die from it.

- Along that topic, he loves edging and love-hates overstimulation. I think he’s got fantastic stamina so you’ve either got to have him fuck you several times or edge him within an inch of his life. Loves that desperate feeling when you bring him so close to cumming only to back off, over and over again until everything is hazy and all he knows how to do is beg you to let him finish. When you don’t stop after he cums he gets this quick sharp realization that he’s absolutely screwed because it’s too much and now he’s begging you to stop, whimpering and twitching his hips but it’s too much and he’s got tears running down his face and you’re telling him he can cum again.

        -- Overstimulates you all the time because, again, stamina, and because he just fundamentally can’t get enough of you. Loves when you’re shaking, clawing at him and sobbing with these little hiccup gasps, and can barely say anything except his name and “please”

- Okay, okay, I said about how he loves watching you put on makeup. So maybe, maybe, one day he’d let/ask you to put some on him. Just to see how it looks, how it feels to have on. He loves the look of concentration you fix on him the entire time, getting a little bashful when you hold his chin and appraise your work before grabbing something for the next step. When you’re done you sit with him as he looks in the mirror and he’s shocked. He wasn’t sure what he expected from this curiosity, but it isn’t heavy, and he doesn’t look like a clown. He looks… pretty. You’ve made him look soft and delicate, like he deserves the shimmer you’ve put at the corners of his eyes and the faint color on his lips. It twists something equal parts visceral and shameful in his gut, but his cock certainty takes interest in the proceedings when you tell him how beautiful he looks and how he’d look even better with the lip-gloss smeared and the mascara running down his cheeks.

- Another thing I alluded to in my last sfw headcannons list: he’s cum in his pants before. That specific time I was talking about I think would be the first time he ever did it and he was fucking mortified. Like, would have run out of the room had you not been literally in his lap. He’s blushing so badly you can practically feel the heat coming off his face. He’s not even trying to talk; he’s just got his head tilted back with his hands pressed to his face. Mortified. He didn’t mean to. Obviously, he didn’t mean to. But you were so close to him, and you smelled so good, and you were kissing him – licking into his mouth like you wanted to consume him, biting at his lower lip, pulling the collar of his shirt aside so you could mouth and nip at his throat, barely giving him time to breathe. He was so hard it was nearly painful and all any of his senses could pick up on was you and he just. He just came in his fucking pants. And now he feels like he’s going to cry. But you’re speaking to him softly and nudging his hands away from his bright red face and you’re smiling at him. Once he calms down enough for you to convince him that you don’t think he’s pathetic he watches, transfixed, as you skim your fingers over the wet patch on his pants and he full-body shivers at the way you’re looking at him – all heat and predatory intent – and he’s still just trying to wrap his head around the fact that you still want him even after he made such a fool out of himself. It’s definitely not the last time it happens, given how much you like to wind him up, and he gets a little more comfortable with the whole thing as you repeatedly tell him how much you like seeing him lose it.

- While we’re talking about cumming, he loves to cum inside you. He buries himself as deep as possible, which is pretty fuckin’ deep, and stays pressed as close as he can the entire time he cums. Then he pulls out and holds your thighs apart with bruising strength and just watches you twitch as his cum leaks out of you. He fucking groans at the sight like you’ve pulled the sound out of his lungs. He’ll push it back into you with his fingers just to watch it leak out again.

- Tall man. Well-muscled man. Hmm. He absolutely does the Knee Thing. If you’re making out laying down and he’s half-kneeling, leaning over you with his weight braced on his forearms, he’ll absolutely be slotting his leg between yours, pressing his thigh firmly against you. The first time he does it instinctively, just by nature of being as big as he is and trying to balance above you but also be as close as possible. He’s amazed that you feel so strongly about such a simple action but when you start to buck your hips against his leg, he vows to always do it. Which means he later figures out he can shove his thigh up between your legs while he’s got you backed against a wall; and because he’s so tall he can force you to drop almost all of your weight on him, your toes barely touching the floor as you squirm.

- So, I also think he’d really like thigh-riding. He loves seeing you so desperate and grinding against him, too needy and impatient to do anything else. He loves how you whine and grab his shoulders and try to get the perfect friction. He’ll move you himself, guiding you with his hands gripping your hips. Loves how you react when he flexes the thick, corded muscle against you. Seeing you fall apart like this kind of makes him understand why you like seeing him cum in his pants.

- He is so incredibly careful with you. The very last thing he wants to do is hurt you, he’d never forgive himself. I think one of his limits is he won’t hit/slap you in any form. Even if you’re into it, he can’t shake the sickening feeling that he’d be hurting you so it’s a go-no. He was shaky but vehement when he told you it was just something he couldn’t do.

- I also don’t think he be a fan of any sort of degradation – he wants to be praised and all he wants to do is praise you. He’d never call you any degrading names.

- Loves lazy morning sex and any instance where you two have time to be slow and he can just hold you and kiss you everywhere he can reach.

- He loves tying you up, loves the trust you place in him when you let him restrict your mobility. I think he’d really enjoy shibari (intricate rope bondage). He likes the artistic and technical aspect of the knots; it’s an almost therapeutic process to create different patterns and restraints across your body. He likes how relaxed and calm you get, pliant as he shifts you around, the dopey-eyed looks and lazy smiles and contented hums you give him. He loves the way the rope looks against your skin, and he loves the marks they leave after. He loves the intimacy of tying you up, the intensity of having you tied up, and the returning intimacy of untying you – he murmurs praise to you as he removes the rope, he presses kisses at each place he undoes a knot, rubbing your muscles and soothing the skin that has marks.

        -- I don’t think he’d be particularly into bondage on himself. The most he’d do is a pair of soft leather cuffs, but if he’s ever been captured and tied up or cuffed by an enemy then he will absolutely not like bondage on him.

        -- That being said, I think he absolutely fucking thrives with mental bondage. You tell him to keep his arms at his sides and he will not move them. You tell him to keep his wrists crossed above his head and that’s where they’ll stay until you tell him otherwise. You tell him not to move his hips, to keep his hands on the headboard, to keep his mouth open, you tell him anything and he will do it. It doesn’t matter that you don’t actually have the strength to physically hold him down. It doesn’t matter how needy and desperate he gets, how much he shakes and whines, it doesn’t even matter if he’s crying and begging. He’s disciplined and you told him not to move so he won’t move, not one single inch.

- Aftercare king when he’s the dominant one. At a minimum he makes sure you drink water, gets you your favorite snack, makes sure you communicate how you’re feeling, tells you how good you did and how much he enjoyed you, cleans you up, and will hold you for as long as you want. This man will do anything to make sure you’re comfortable and happy.

        -- When he needs aftercare, he’d particularly need lots of reassurance. He’s always worrying about whether or not he did well with regular sex so for more intense stuff he needs your soothing words even more. I think he’d really like to have you in his lap with his arms locked around your waist and his face buried in your neck, listening to your breathing or you humming, while you rub your hands up and down his back – the soft noise and the repetitive motion grounds him and he likes to be able to smell the lingering perfume and sweat-salt on your neck. He won’t talk right away but eventually you’ll get to verbally check in with him. No matter how long you stay with him he’s always going to be a little grumpy when you tell him you have to get up and get him hydrated and clean.

[imagopirateversion]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Why It Shouldn’t Exist

Or how I invested time and energy into an analysis of a relatively dead franchise instead of doing it for my actual media analysis university course.

An essay by: a bitter and obsessed PotC fan since they were 7, with a lot of free time.

Lads, this is going to be long. You have been warned.

The Beginning

At the very beginning of the movie, we see a young Henry Turner looking for his dad.

Now, we're not talking about characterization problems or how likely it is that a ten-year-old child would risk his life to look for a man he technically only saw once; we're talking about plot problems, actual logical fallacies. My questions are:

How? The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ship, impossible to be found unless She wants to be found. The only reason we see Her in Dead Man's Chest is because Davy Jones himself is looking for Jack to collect his debt, and in that occasion the Dutchman's captain wasn't even doing what he was supposed to do, so he was most definitely in the living world. Will otherwise, he's doing the job Calypso gave him, so he's constantly in between. Is the movie trying to convince me that a kid was able to do something no one in the history of piracy was ever able to do? And even if he did, why hasn't anyone explained me how? He simply looks at a map and throws himself on the bottom of the ocean. How did he know The Dutchman was there? How did he know it would've come to surface?

Where is his mom? We got to know Elizabeth in the first three movies; we know she's a smart woman and we can assume she's an attentive mother. She didn't notice her son preparing himself for a trip in the middle of the ocean to go look for his dad? Was she distracted? Was she outsmarted by a 10ish-year-old? Or is she just not contemplated in this scenario?

Why does Will look like that? Will is doing his job, so... why does he look like he's slowly corrupting? That kind of corruption is the punishment Calypso reserves to The Dutchman's crew when the captain fails her, which isn't the case. Did they forget about it? Was the idea of putting algae on Orlando Bloom's face just impossible to resist to?

Alright, this isn't actually from this movie but it's bothering me, so I have to write it; also, it would make this whole movie unnecessary, so it's somehow related to it. Why (and I can't stress this enough) can't Elizabeth be on the Dutchman? Why can't they do the job together? Is it because she's not a pirate? I'm pretty sure se actually is. Is it because she's a woman? Last time I checked she was the KING. She wants to stay with Will forever, Will wants to stay with her forever, they can literally live forever on the same ship. Why aren't they?

Whatever the Hell Happened to Jack Sparrow

Imagine creating a character that is so iconic whenever you ask a person who was a kid in the early 2000 to imagine a pirate, they imagine said character.

Now imagine fourteen years pass and you decide to ruin that character by making him the most hideous, annoying, idiotic person in the whole saga, and we're talking about a saga that has Philip the Missionary in it. Why? Jack Sparrow is THE anti-hero. Never on the right side, but never on the wrong one. You can tell he's doing something morally questionable, but you still find yourself rooting for him. He's stupid enough to make you laugh, but he's secretly clever enough to always get away with it. Now he's just... drunk. And that's not even an excuse for this horrendous new characterization, because he was always drunk. The guy FORGOT HE WAS ROBBING A BANK, the same guy just one movie earlier was able to escape from the King of England's palace and steal a lady's earring (by pretending to be a literal slut) in the process. He just switched from the iconic drunk bi bestie everyone loves to my cringe uncle that drinks too much at Christmas parties and makes everyone uncomfortable. Please, if the risk is ruining an entire generation's beloved character, either don't make the movie or find a better explanation than "Bad luck dogs you day and night".

The Pearl in The Bottle

So... what you're telling me is that Jack Sparrow, the guy who was able to defeat Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard thanks to his slyness, and who loves his Black Pearl more than anything else in the world, had said ship in a bottle in his pockets for FIVE YEARS... and he never thought about breaking the bottle to free Her. That's what you're telling me. This is the pivotal point upon which the entire Jack's plot hinges. I... I don't even know what to say. Was this supposed to be funny?

What an Incredibly Lucky Coincidence

A guy needs a treasure to save his father. To find it, he needs the help of a notorious and legendary pirate. He looks for him everywhere, sailing on dozens of ships just so he has the remote chance to stumble across the pirate. The last ship he's been on has sinked, he's the only survivor. He's been found in the middle of the ocean and someone brought him to the nearest city. Which city? I mean, the one that has both the pirate he was looking for and a lady who's the only person in the whole planet who's able to find the treasure he was looking for! And, oh my... he finds the both of them! In that same city! Without even LOOKING FOR THEM! A hell of a coincidence, if you ask me. Also known as lazy writing.

What's Wrong With the Guards?

Now, I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its accurate historical reconstructions, but why are the guards in this movie acting like they're some sort of hellhounds ready to kill anyone in sight? Even pirates and traitors as Jack and Henry were supposed to stand trial before being sentenced to death. It would've probably been an unjust and barbaric trial, but there should've been one. We literally saw it, in the previous movie. Why's Jack been sentenced to death for simply existing here? He gave pirate vibes and they decided that was enough?

Paul McCartney

This is not an actual point of the analysis, I just wanted to remind people that Paul McCartney is in this movie and that's the only valid reason to watch it.

Salazar

I am confused. Once again, I have questions.

El Matador Del Mar was so good at his job he had almost defeated piracy. "The last ones joined together to try and defeat me". The last what? Pirates? There were no pirates left? This happened when Jack was young, so a lot of time before the first movie, right? Where were, I don't know... Blackbeard? Davy Jones? Barbossa? All the other Pirate Lords? I might be wrong, but I guess Salazar didn't kill them, did he? Why weren't they there during that "last battle" in which "the last ones joined together"?

The Devil's Triangle. I just don't understand what's the logic behind it. So, this is a cursed place. Whoever enters there, can't get out. One would think it means that if you get there, you die; and Salazar does die, but he somehow also becomes a ghost whose only purpose is to find Jack Sparrow and have his revenge. So, do people become ghosts when they get in The Devil's Triangle? We have to assume people have gotten stuck in there before; otherwise, there wouldn't be legends around the place. So why isn't it like full of spirits ready to haunt people? Why are Salazar and his crew the only ones?

Poseidon or Calypso?

What's the Trident of Poseidon? Does Poseidon exist? Isn't Calypso the Goddess of the sea? Breaking the Trident, you break all the curses of the sea, so the Trident must be more powerful than Calypso, which leads to a question. Where is she? She IS the sea, right? So she must have known someone was about to find the Trident and brake all curses, including her one. She just decided it was okay? It really feels like someone decided to suddenly change the world's mythology without giving explanations.

The Compass

This is possibly the most blatant plot hole in the whole saga. Probably the most blatant plot hole I've ever witnessed, and man, I watched all the Harry Potter movies. In Dead Man's Chest, Jack meets Tia Dalma in her "shop" and he tells her he's looking for the Davy Jones' key. She asks him "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", making another pivotal point of Dead Men Tell No Tales factually senseless.

That man couldn't have given his compass to Jack, because that wasn't his compass.

So either Salazar is lying while telling his tale or they forgot about that line in the second movie. Anyway, let's pretend that line doesn't exist; even if that captain gave Jack his compass in that exact moment, why would it be the key to free Salazar, exactly? How is the compass in any way related to The Devil's Triangle or to Salazar? In the movie, they try to explain it with a sentence: “if you betray it, your greatest fear comes true”. So, is Salazar Jack's greatest fear? I really doesn't seem right, Jack almost didn't remember Salazar when Henry mentioned him. To Jack, he's only a guy he outsmarted decades earlier. Also, Jack technically already gave the compass away, twice: to Elizabeth in Dead Man's Chest, to make her find the chest, and to Beckett in At World's End, when they're negotiating.

That's... That's Just Body Shaming, Mate

Let's talk about her. So, the woman's ugly. It can happen that a woman is ugly. Was it necessary to build an entire scene around some blatant body shaming? This scene wants to mimic the similar scene in Dead Man's Chest: Jack's on an island, running from the main villain, and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do until someone saves him, then it was Will, now it's Hector.

Except in Dead Man's Chest it was LITERAL CANNIBALISM he was facing, and yet he looked LESS TERRIFIED and DISGUSTED. What's exactly the message here? Lads, is marrying an ugly woman worse than cannibalism? I don't know... that was just bad.

Justice for Hector Barbossa

If you know me (you probably don't, but if you do) then you know about my obsession with Hector Barbossa. I truly believe he's the best written character in the saga, and he's in my top five of the characters I love the most in all media. I watched The Curse of the Black Pearl when I was seven and I am autistic, so I had all the time to develop a literal relationship with these characters in my head. As much as Geoffrey Rush's interpretation was impeccable, as always, it really hurt to watch Hector in this movie. He just doesn't sound like him. First of all, why isn't he on the Queen Anne's Revenge? Why's he letting someone else sail around on his ships? He would've never. Why's he just sitting on a throne and shooting musicians instead of, I don't know... being a pirate? Being a pirate is the only thing that matters to him. He says it at the end of On Stranger Tides, and he even says it in this movie, to the witch. "I'm a pirate. Always will be".

So, why isn't he pirating? What happened to him? And what about the pact with the witch? He made her curse all his enemies; that's honestly the most out-of-character thing he could've done.

Seriously, watch this movie, and then The Curse of the Black Pearl and tell me he sounds like he's the same character. Then there’s his death... was it necessary? And I don't mean if it was necessary to the plot (it wasn't), but the way he died, did it make sense? He takes the sword and sacrifices himself to kill Salazar, but WHY? Salazar was back a mortal. They could've brought him to surface and then shoot him. What was the point of his death, Disney? I will never forgive you.

I would've preferred if they never showed him again. He's alive and living his best life in Tortuga, if you ask me.

How does Carina Smyth exist?

Let's do the math. Carina Smyth has approximately the same age as Henry Turner, who was born around nine moths after the end of At World's End. At the end of that movie, Barbossa once again stole the Black Pearl (he's iconic we stan a legend), so we have to assume it is during that time (between the At World's End and On Stranger Tides) that he conceives Carina. He stays with this woman during the whole pregnancy, bacause he says he was there when she died. So nine months, at least, right? Except; Jack makes it clear that he and Barbossa met Carina's mom, Margaret, together.

When, exactly, did this happen? It can't be between On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales, because Hector himself says only five years passed between the two, and Carina doesn't look like a five-year-old;

it can't be between At World's End and On Stranger Tides, because we know Jack and Barbossa weren't together, and Hector was too busy losing a leg and planning his revenge by working for the King of England; it can't be during At World's End, because Barbossa was too busy rescuing Jack and then slaying (literally and metaphorically) Beckett's men to save piracy; it can't be during Dead Man's Chest, because he was dead; it can't be during The Curse of the Black Pearl, nor during the ten years before it, because he was... he was a skeleton, I hardly believe he could reproduce, despite what’s written in some fanficions; it can't be before, of course, because Carina would be too old. The only chance, but it's a stretch, is that Hector and Jack met this Margaret Smyth years and years before, and that at a certain point (while he was still busy slaying, losing a leg or planning his revenge), for some reason he decided to come back to her and accidentally had a daughter. That would mean that Jack remembered Margaret Smyth's name DECADES after he met her.

The Post-Credit Scene: What?

WHY'S DAVY JONES BACK? The Trident technically broke all the curses of the sea. He is THE cursed man of the sea. AND HE'S DEAD. The only answer I was able to give me, is that the moment the Trident broke the curses, the curse that said if you stab his heart he dies was also broken, so he technically didn't die, but it makes even less sense, because if the curses just aren't real anymore, then a man shouldn't be able to... carve out his heart and put it in a chest, right? (Which by the way, makes Will Turner being alive senseless as well). Even if so, Davy should've come back as a human.

My conclusion is that this movie should not exist, and we, as a community, should pretend it was never made. Hector is alive. Bye.

Imago

[mundoperla]

Could I get hcs for a gn survivor that’s horrendously touch-starved, whenever they’re being carried to a hook, they completely relax in the killer’s grip and lean into them, because they’re brain just goes w a r m human contact fuck yeah- and they can’t help it sdvh

If you could include Frank from The Legion because..he’s my favourite, I find him hot- but aside from that, any killers you want to write hcs for! :D

EEEEE KICKING MY FEET IN THE AIR BC FRANK <3333

•

𝙆𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙩𝙤𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙎𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙤𝙧 .

⤹⋆｡˚ ｡˚۰ ۰˚☽˚⁀➷｡˚⋆ ｡˚۰༄

killers x gender neutral reader

—killer(s) included;; frank morrison, ji-woon hak, kazan yamaoka, & caleb quinn WOOOOOO DEATHSLINGER PROPAGANDA

‼️tws;; none i could catch but if there is anything lmk!!!‼️

⤹⋆｡˚ ｡˚۰ ۰˚☽˚⁀➷｡˚⋆ ｡˚۰༄

𝕱𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖐 𝕸𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓—𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖊𝖌𝖎𝖔𝖓

.｡❅* you were being tossed up onto his shoulder to be brought to the nearest rusty hook like the last, you had yet to even be put on one so of course some kind of struggle or fight was expected.

.｡❅* but you weren’t moving, barley even a scream or kick from you. he couldn’t feel any kind of struggle, but he can feel you practically melting into him.

.｡❅* he did not.. understand.. you’ve gotta be broken or something.

.｡❅* he’d stopped in his tracks completely, wiggling you a bit with the arm that held you up to see if you’d respond with maybe an elbow to the side of his head, but you just sat there. completely still. you were just enveloped in his touch. sitting still and very peacefully.

.｡❅* Frank didn’t exactly know how to react or how to feel.. it’s wonderful having someone feel so comfortable being this close to him, but he was also expecting the usual response he got from others.

.｡❅* he’ll just stand there for a minute, letting you hang out for a while longer. he’ll feel guilty if he just tossed you onto a hook afterwards so he gently places you on the ground and leaves you there for one of your teammates to pick you up.

.｡❅* if you do it again in more trials with him he’s slowly going to start ignoring his initial objectives and just carry you around the map with him.

.｡❅* again he won’t admit he likes feeling this kind of contact with you, he’ll swear up and down that it’s just because he feels powerful when someone’s on his shoulder for long periods of time like some kind of prize catch.

.｡❅* regardless of whatever lame excuses he pulls to justify holding you so you, he makes it a mandatory task whenever he spots you in a trial, aswell as the occasional jingle of your body when you’re hoisted up just to see if you’ll ever retaliate.

.｡❅* you never do. he digs that.

•

𝕵𝖎-𝖂𝖔𝖔𝖓 𝕳𝖆𝖐—𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗

.｡❅* like Frank, he’s expecting you to fight him to get out of his grasp like your life depended on it— which it does.

.｡❅* maybe if he hits someone on your team with you on him you’ll do something? maybe even beg for him to spare everyone else & to just kill you?

.｡❅* wrong. you’re still just sitting there.

.｡❅* Ji-Woon doesn’t mind to say the least, attention is attention & you’re practically melted into his shoulder just pleased to have this much contact with another person. it’s a win-win for the two of you.

.｡❅* The Trickster is very.. tricky to say the least, he loves having you pressed up on him when he’s picked you up after a chase, but at the same time he still internally wants you to fight back. bite him at least.

.｡❅* he will still throw you onto a hook after a minute or two of you being up with him. he’s still got others to get rid of.

.｡❅* then again he doesn’t want to do too much to make you avoid him, he still wants to feel you lean into his hands when he hold your face up or when he’s holding you sturdy on his shoulder. it’s actually very nice when he’s making some kind of physical contact with you.

.｡❅* he’ll be annoying you whenever he’s caught you though, he’s aware that you’re not gonna do anything to get away but instead revel in this brief moment of physical contact with him of all people.

.｡❅* ❝ Should I hold you in a more comfortable position this time 여보 ? just for now until i unfortunately have to put you away. ❞

.｡❅* like i said — he’s annoying.

•

𝕶𝖆𝖟𝖆𝖓 𝖄𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖔𝖐𝖆—𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕺𝖓𝖎

.｡❅* he will not notice this at all until after maybe the 7th trial with you. he’s a ruthless and feared killer, but you never seemed to care when he would carry you to your inevitable fate.

.｡❅* you had decompressed entirely on him multiple times, and Kazan was pissed to say the least.

.｡❅* the ‘Oni Yamaoka’ was known far and wide for his brutality across the country, even tearing apart the very lord that spat the foul nickname at him and his family’s name. he was less than eligible for you to feel comfortable enough to mould around.

.｡❅* he had full intentions to harm you to get a point across, but Jake was quick to get you away from The Oni with his flashlight.

.｡❅* Kazan was even more angry, because now he had to get you back so he could jam it into your head that he is not to be taken so lightly. he looked for every opportunity to get you slung over his shoulders again but fumbled every time he got you where you were wanted.

.｡❅* but every time you wound up in his grasp, you’d lay there enveloped in his touch. the idea of being brought to a hook or even the basement was irrelevant in the moment. it felt amazing basically sitting in the palm of his hand.

.｡❅* it makes him angrier whenever you do this, he’s so comfortable being feared by every living being that surrounded him & he was not adjusting well to the idea of you not groveling in that same fear like the other survivors.

.｡❅* you occasionally entertained him by pretending to be scared when he had caught up with you, which also made him angry. he didn’t ACTUALLY want you to feel that way, he just wanted you to know how the other survivors perceived him. he’s contradicting himself trying to ignore the fact he really does enjoy you being close to him.

.｡❅* he’ll actively start refraining from picking you up unless he needs to, which despite this he will still constantly pick you up. you get the impression he actually enjoys the skin to skin contact much more than what he wants you to believe.

•

𝕮𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖇 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖓𝖓—𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖘𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗

.｡❅* he’s oblivious to it all at first, he doesn’t get why you always seemingly chose to turn into mush when he makes contact with you.

.｡❅* but he’s very pleased by this to say the least, even taking the courtesy to find a secluded space to sit down with you peacefully. he’ll carry you over to an exit when they open up.

.｡❅* you’re aware of the damage he can cause, not just to others but to you specifically. he was dangerous just like the next killer you’d have to go up against.

.｡❅* but that felt so irrelevant when your abdomen made contact with the harsh material of his coat for the first time. your worries and fears faded in an instant. even with all his jagged edges, his touch managed felt like pure velvet.

.｡❅* Caleb could sit down in one of the secret rooms of the saloon with you forever if The Entity allowed him to, you’re obviously enjoying the time spent on him; he doesn’t want to yank that peace away from you so suddenly.

.｡❅* he ups it a notch, placing a hand on the nape of your neck — being met with another deep exhale from you. he didn’t think it was possible to witness a person genuinely melt until now.

.｡❅* he’s also melting against your touch, you buried your head into his chest and he wanted to keep you on that spot. he hasn’t felt this close to another person in a long time.

.｡❅* The Deathslinger could be gentle if he wanted to, always doing his best to limit as much movement when you’re up high on his shoulders as to not disturb you, even though you didn’t particularly mind him moving around.

.｡❅* if he see’s another open opportunity outside of a trial, he will offer to let you sit on his shoulders again. you seemed very peaceful the last time, so why not experience it again without the time limit?

•

⋆┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈⋆

please i beg of you give me more frank reqs he’s so fun to write for

[sivyera]

Dating Hiccup would include...

PAIRING: Hiccup 'Horrendous' Haddock III x fem!reader

WARNINGS: bad grammar

CONTAINS: fluffy fluff

SONG: Only Girl (In The World) - Rihanna

A/N: Y/D/N - means 'your dragon name' (for example Elsa would be the name you give your dragon)

gif is not mine

the sweetest boyfriend you could ever wish to have

he loves everything about you!

he LOVES when you play with his hair

or when you make him little braids

his favourite activity to do with you is exploring and finding new islands/places

at first he was little insecure about his mumbling

he is such a nerd when it comes to dragons so when you didn't interrupt him and let him talk, he was so happy

he's actually very touch starved

like he had a lovely father and now he have lovely mother but Valka wasn't there his whole adolescence and Stoick wasn't very a hug person

and he never felt those kind of feeling to anyone

he hesitate when it comes to cuddling

wasn't he to heavy? doesn't his peg leg bother you? etc..

but when you drag him to bed, snuggle to his neck and put your legs around his waist, he automatically relaxed

your warm make him feel at home

so now he loves when you two cuddle

he is probably the big spoon

he feels like he's protecting you and that makes him feel more like a man

he fall asleep with you in his arms but in the morning he is in your arms, listening your heartbeat, snuggled into your neck

sometimes Toothless and Y/D/N join you when you two cuddle

Toothless is always teasing Hiccup about you

he rase his 'eyebrows' at Hiccup

Toothless loves you too as well

you help Hiccup with his map

Valka loves you too

she never saw her son that happy

Valka secretly thinks that Hiccup is the happiest when he is with you

races with Toothless and Y/D/N

he protect you with his life and trust you more that anyone

if you tell jump, he will jump

he loves deep conversation with you

he is always admiring you

he loves kisses on the cheek

but secretly he loves kisses on your neck

and when he feels extra confident he give you a hickey

but he always blushes after he realized what he did

he is also very jealous but he can hide it very well

he can't lose you because he wouldn't want to live anymore

without you, live isn't worth it

he just loves you very VERY much!

A/N: I'm maybe gonna do part 2

[sgiandubh]

But first, time to say good-bye

It was to be a late departure (bureaucracy will someday kill us all...) from Athens, an endlessly diverted way North through a very early summer and some fitful sleep near the border, where poppies were already in bloom and elusive to the camera:

I promised to share with you my story with Mycenae the day I would leave Greece for good. Yesterday was the day, so here goes.

I first went to Mycenae on a horrendously rainy day, in November 2018. The place struck me as a haphazard settlement of sorts in the wake of some ancient apocalypse, which was absolutely correct. We stayed in my colleague from Culture and Press' car, munched on some horribly stale koulouria as all hell broke loose outside, when she finally told me: ' you know what, I am happy we made it here: in Mycenae, you can only hear and tell the truth, you know'.

I have to say I ogled in suspicion. I was wet, hungry and completely unused to the Greek way of dressing everything up in mythology. She spoke Greek as I speak French and knew perfectly well what she was doing. She was casting a spell - an unbreakable one, for which I will forever be grateful. Oh, and as all myths would have it, the Lion Gate was closed, by the time we arrived.

It took me almost two years to go back there, during the pandemic, scared summer of 2020, when everything was empty and glorious to fully take in, like a big gulp of colors and sounds and life. My digs were to be always the same: unassuming Petite Planète, the last B&B in town, a stone throw away from Agamemnon's treasury, owned by the Dassis clan of archaeologists.

Their story begins in Constantinople, around 1875, when Konstantinos, a young orphan, begged Heinrich Schliemann to take him along to wherever he was traveling. He quickly became indispensable and helped with the first digs in Mycenae. He was the one who found Agamemnon's mask:

When the digging was over, Schliemann bought him a tiny house for two pence and a half and told him to stay there. 'Many people will come to visit and they will need food and a roof. Make sure you do your best and it will make you a rich man.'

And they came. In droves. If you ask nicely, V. will show you their reception rosters, safely tucked away in a bank vault, in Argos. I had the privilege to see Virginia Woolf's signature and I was stunned. Schliemann's two pence house is now doubled by a garish modern addition you can see from the main road as La Belle Hélène B&B ('my cousin Agamemnon is a greedy idiot', says V), but Schliemann's room is piously kept as it was when the strange German gentleman left them to their fate. As is, they did not become rich, but that does not matter. You will always find a place at their wonderful table, where Mamma Dassis cooks the same food they ate back in Constantinople and they would not have it otherwise. The new, bigger and better B&B is called Petite Planète because of V's father undying passion for Saint Exupéry's Little Prince. It permeates everything without being obtrusive, because sometimes 'the essential is invisible to the eye'.

Back in 2020, they were worried. Very worried. The Lion Gate was open again, but the 'cretins at Google' wouldn't have it and kept on listing it as closed, on their maps. People were canceling their bookings. The village stood unusually quiet and forlorn.

I made no promises. But I did phone some people at the Greek Ministry of Culture. The least person I expected to be of any help, H, a transparent, mousey freeloader, who was always the last to leave all of our events in the hope we'd take her to dinner in town, happened to be some sort of underling at the Archaeological Sites Department. She immediately understood what I wanted her to do.

Three days after I left Mycenae, on my road trip to the Mani peninsula, I received this message in my Booking inbox:

This started it all. And from that moment, all my Greek roads will lead there. It's also been a long time since I have trouble forcefully paying them for my monthly stays (booking and paying in advance helps, though), something they adamantly refused last time I went there:

'G., the girl wants to pay.'

'This is ridiculous, of course. This girl is family.'

Someday, I just know I will be back. For good.

After five years and a half, many more fabulous stories (Mycenean potter and poet, anyone? mad postman? Kyria Stamatoula and her goats? Kyrios Pandelis and his jams?) the only thing I know about Greece is that, for all its (many) misgivings, this land is about two things:

Friends and Heroes.

[anjanahalo]

Wayne vs Fenton 4

probably after tim starts investigating

~*~

It was another scheduled playdate that forced Damian to really question what Danny meant when he stated he was “liminal.” From what Danny shared at the time, it felt like a chronic medical condition. He’d been exposed, at some point, to a substance Danny knew from his scientist parents as “ectoplasm.” The exposure was strong enough to leave a lingering effect upon Damian’s body. However, Danny also warned the sort of ectoplasm in question was, as quoted by his classmate “super gross and nasty. Not shocked if it made you more prone to angry outbursts than the normal liminal. Like, getting into actually fighty fights and not regular fights.” Danny, as usual, wasn’t exceedingly helpful in clarifying his explanation. His peer evidentially understood the topic, but was horrendous in conveying the principles. From what he’d gleaned, it seemed this “ectoplasm” was a form of less potent Lazarus Water as, when he’d questioned Danny if it could heal the ill or bring the dead to life, Danny seemed horrified at the prospect. Damian didn’t question further. He enjoyed having Danny’s companionship. He’d hate to jeopardize that with giving his friend dangerous knowledge that might lead to the League hunting him down. He’d have to ask for help in researching this, but later. Later became now when, during their fight, after Damian lept to the next rooftop after being pushed closed to the edge, Danny stopped his pursuit. “Whoa, okay, we gotta go back.” “Are you frightened of falling, Danny?” “From that jump? No, but we’re not going further that way. Let’s head back. Saw an ice cream place a few blocks over. We could go there for a playdate treat?” “You’re deflecting.” “I am not! Get over here and say that to my face.” Damian didn’t move. “Make me.” Danny didn’t move. “Seriously, I get you’re liminal, but you’re apparently not liminal enough to realize why we should go back but, trust me, we should go back.” “I’d like a logical explanation you want to draw our ‘playdate’ to a close before I return, Daniel” Danny groaned. “You know how much I hate that name!” “And I’ll keep calling you that until you either use your fists or your words to stop me, Daniel.” “Urgh, look, you gotta promise not to pick any fights, alright? Seriously. There’s a super dangerous and strong liminal that way, and I do not want to deal with that shit on a school night.” Damian glanced back, properly mapping their location. They were both on the border of Park Row, better known as Crime Alley. Even more known among the Batclan as Red Hood’s territory. Red Hood, Jason Todd, a man who, very certainly, came in contact with the Lazarus pits. If living by them made Damian liminal in Danny’s scientific senses, being fully revived by them certainly would. Damian thought about tempting Danny further in to watch his reactions, but decided against it. Having strong if indirect proof of his hypothesis would be enough for the evening, considering his company. “Alright, Danny. This area is known as Crime Alley. Best to head back for ice cream.” “Thank you! Ancients!” Danny gave his favorite odd curse. “I didn’t want to have to chase you down in that sort of poisonous haunt!” “A…haunt?” “Nevermind about it. Basically the area a liminal lives gives a sort of aura from their ectoplasm and, trust me, yours might give the heebie geebies, but his is full Jason Vorhees. Neither of us want to deal with that shit. You paying?” Damian smiled back, hiding the thoughts and theories forming in his head given the indirect information he’d just been given from a scientific perspective of the Pits. “I assumed you were since you suggested it.” Danny sighed. “Fine, I guess I can use my meager allowance on you. But that means no waffle cones.” “And the place offers vegan-” “Of course it does! You think I’d be so focused on fighting you I wouldn’t note if a neat ice cream place didn’t offer vegan options for you? What sort of friend do you think I am?!” “With that division of attention,” Damian laughed, “it’s a bit up in the air.”

[magnifythesun]

Hi! Are you still taking ianthony prompts? I've had this stuck in my head the time Ian's car broke down and Anthony said he begged Ian 6 times to come pick him up and I just imagine Damsel in Distress Ian who's also stubborn and a bit oblivious to a worried and protective Anthony who's always there for him in different situations.

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!

This is definitely one of my favorite little details that they've dropped about themselves haha!! I can't believe Anthony had to ask Ian SIX whole times just to come get him 😂 Ian truly must never ask for help! Okay, I'm a little rusty in my writing but I'm excited so let's see how this goes! Let me know what you think! ^_^

(mid writing notes: writing this really made me realize just how many times SIX whole times of asking your friend to let you give them a ride is. SIX TIMES)

Read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56102110

--

Leave it to Ian to get stranded in the only 'middle-of-nowhere' spot in LA. Anthony was wearing tracks into his living room carpet, caught up in rereading the messages Ian had sent.

"Car broke 😢" was the first sign of trouble, accompanied by the sad photo of Ian's car half-pulled off of the asphalt into grass.

"Where are you?" Anthony had shot back, confused by the seemingly rural background of the photo. "Got AAA coming to help?"

"In the most barren part of the whole city." Ian replied after a couple of minutes. "I'm taking a look at at it now but yeah I'm probably going to call them. Car sounds fucked."

"Shit, man. Lemme know if you need a ride" Anthony offered. It only took a second for the reply.

"No worries, I'll be good."

There had been radio silence for a while then. Anthony hadn't been too stressed. He figured Ian already had a different person lined up to get him if his car didn't start back up. Still, he kept glancing at his phone for updates that didn't come.

After about forty minutes, and a quick glance at the clock that told him it'd be getting dark soon, Anthony texted Ian again.

"Triple A fix your car?"

The response was prompt. "Nope"

Anthony stared at the message, knowing this man did not just send him only the word 'nope.' It took a minute but more followed.

"The AAA guy's still looking at it but from what I can tell it's beyond his scope. He mentioned I should probably call a tow truck so I've been looking at reviews."

Anthony glanced outside his window, frowning at the rapidly darkening sky. "That sounds like a good idea. after you call whoever, I can drive over so you have a ride once they've towed yours"

Ian responded quickly, "No don't worry I'm all good."

Definitely must have a ride then, Anthony thought. Still, he had to make sure. "Oh good, you've got a ride then?"

There was a long pause, so Anthony set his phone down, glancing at the setting sun again and went to get some water from the kitchen.

Coming back in to his phone, he checked his messages, and-

"No, I'll probably just Uber."

Anthony was flabbergasted. "Why?? Don't worry man it's no problem for me to pick you up. Let me know where you're at." It was actually just straight up dark outside at this point. "Is the AAA guy still there??"

"Nah he's gone. Waiting on the tow truck."

Alone in the middle-of-nowhere Los Angeles? Anthony thought, In the dark? Worry flared up in his chest and the pacing began.

"Ian, just drop me your map pin and I'll head over."

"It's chill, I'm not in a rush to get home." Ian replied, not a care in the world.

Anthony resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. "that's not really the point??"

Suddenly a picture was loading in on the messages.

Anthony braced himself for a lackadaisical gif (and yes, he pronounced it jif like god and the creator intended) but was greeted instead with a horrendous selfie of Ian holding the phone at an angle an inch from his chin, smiling at him. The artificial light from his phone lit up the interior of his car behind him. Anthony couldn't help but laugh, even as the worry churned in his stomach. Another message followed.

"Don't worry. I'm a big boy now, all grown up and everything."

Anthony considered wracking his brains for a daddy joke, but decided Ian didn't deserve it right now. He grabbed his keys and wallet, flicked off the living room light, and left, locking his door behind him. As he walked toward his car, he jabbed the call button.

It rang only twice before Ian picked up. Anthony heard him take a breath to speak and didn't give him a chance. "Ian, just tell me where you're at, I'm heading to my car now."

"I-" Ian sounded surprised. There was a moment of rustling on the other end, then Anthony was clearly put on speaker as Ian's voice echoed slightly through the call. "Anthony, really, it's fine. The tow truck people have an ETA of like 15 minutes and then I'll call the Uber while they're hooking the car up."

Anthony, now at his car, pressed his eyes closed for a second in annoyance as he clicked his key. He hoped Ian could hear the pointed little beep-beep of his car unlocking in response.

"You really don't have to go out of your way to come get me," Ian continued, undeterred. "I didn't mean to derail your whole night with this," He laughed.

Anthony got in the car and leaned his head on his steering wheel in despair. "Ian."

"What?" Ian asked.

Anthony began to laugh despite himself, "I don't understand," He laughed harder, pushing the words out. "Why won't you just let me pick you up? I've asked you like five times!"

There was a moment of silence from Ian's end, and Anthony knew Ian was processing just how ridiculous this had become. Ian started snickering. Then they were both just laughing, Anthony holding the phone tight to his ear as Ian's laughter poured from it, his other hand ready to turn the car on.

"So," Anthony caught his breath, "So can you -please- drop me a map pin so I can come get you?"

"Alright, alright." Ian said.

Ian's voice was soft and breathless from his laughter. Anthony had spent a long time learning how to properly relish the beautiful moments in his life. The sound of Ian's voice right now, echoing slightly through the phone? That was one of those moments.

Anthony's phone pinged. "There. You happy?"

"Finally, my god." Anthony pulled the phone away to check. "Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Great," Ian said. "I think the tow truck gets here right about then." Anthony could still hear the smile in his voice. "I'll be here, waiting for you to rescue me."

[imeanitplsmorenamifics]

IT'S HERE! WELCOME TO THE NAMI FIC THAT EVERYONE (literally just me) HAS BEEN WAITING FOR. I am being straight up when I say that writing this was: 87% vibing to Chappell Roan and singing along. And 13% actually writing. You can find my Flower Asks here, Hozier Asks here, and my Taylor Swift Asks here. You can find my masterlist here and my rules here. I also have a taglist now and you can find that here! And you can request here! Characters: Nami, Fem!Reader, Sanji (mentioned), Zoro, Straw Hats (mentioned) Pairings: Nami x Fem!Reader, Nami x Sanji (one-sided) TW: Comphet. There may be more but that's all I can think of. Tell me if there's more!

Good Luck, Babe!

.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.

There was one kind of relationship that killed people to be in. The will they, won’t they one where they don’t want to admit their feelings but know what they feel. It was one of the relationships you never wanted to be in and was annoying to see in the media. Why can’t the two just be together? Why all this back and forth? Just have them get together already and be done with it. It wasn’t that hard, right? Wrong. You were so wrong. So horrendously wrong that it was laughable. Because you, my dear girl, are in that exact situation.

You have been aware that you liked girls for a while. It was hard to admit at first but when you finally embraced it, everything seemed to fall into place. You didn’t beat yourself up for falling behind in love anymore. You didn’t wonder why it was so hard to be like everybody else and have that guy that they’re always showing you in books. You realized that you were comparing yourself in a way that you were never going to win. Anyway, you like girls. You knew that. You were great.

What was horrible about it was when the girl you liked was going through exactly what you went through before you realized. You were in love with Nami of the Straw Hat Pirates. The two of you met when Nami had tried to break into the military base in Shells Town to take the map of the Grand Line. Ever since then, you knew exactly what you felt toward her. You liked her. And eventually, that like turned into love.

You’re not too sure when it happened. Maybe it happened after everything with Arlong. You probably were in love with her much longer than that. But something about the events put everything into perspective for you. After you came to the realization, you did everything you could to show your affection toward the girl. You were ecstatic when she returned your affections as well.

There was only one problem. While you would outwardly tell people how much you felt toward the girl, she wouldn’t. Other people in the crew, mainly Zoro surprisingly, would ask you if you were in love with Nami. You would tell them, “With your whole heart.” You would think that Nami would reply the same with the way she acted toward you. When someone asked her, what did she say?

“Of course not. She’s just my best friend.” Cue the sound of your heart shattering.

It made you feel stupid. You were putting so much of yourself into a situation that was seemingly never going to work out for you. It was rigged from the beginning. And the person doing the rigging was exactly the person you wanted to be with. But if you asked Nami, she would say that nothing of the sort was happening. The way you treated each other was nothing more than the way friends would treat each other. It was enough to make you scoff.

There was one situation that stuck out with you the most. You were docked at a new island. You’d been docked there for a few hours but had yet to go out yourself. You were excited to take in the sights and see what all they had. While you were getting ready, a certain woman with orange hair walked into your room with a grin on her face, “Hey,” You gave her a smile and greeted her back. “You wanna go eat at this restaurant Luffy found? The others already ate so it would just be the two of us.”

The feeling of your heart racing came over you. You could feel your face heat up slightly, “Oh, really? Just the two of us?”

“Yeah, kind of like a date.” She stated casually. If only she knew the weight her words held in your mind. You were ecstatic at the thought of going out with only Nami. Maybe you could try and see where things would end.

You put on your best clothes. You put thought into what you wore and chose what perfume you would wear carefully. When you met up with Nami outside the ship, you could tell that she dressed up for the occasion as well. You smiled at each other before walking to the restaurant. You don’t know when it happened, but somehow, the two of you ended up walking hand in hand.

It didn’t take long to get there. The restaurant wasn’t too far from the docks. The two of you made yourself comfortable when you found a table You talked about whatever and anyone watching the scene couldn’t help but smile at the lightheartedness feel of the sight. A waitress walked up to your table with her own smile.

With a pen and pad in her hand, she greeted the both of you, “Well, don’t you two look pretty! Are you here for a date?”

Before you could even answer, Nami replied, “Oh, no, we’re just friends.” The smile fell off your face for a moment. Anyone watching the scene could see exactly how you felt for a fraction of a second. Not wanting to cause a scene though, you sucked it up.

“Yeah. Just friends,” You cast a glance at Nami. She was ignoring your look, focusing on the menu instead. You pursed your lips and went to look at what the place had to offer.

The awkwardness was very apparent. Everything after that felt a little strained between the two of you. That one moment had single-handedly ruined whatever moment you were having. You practically ate in silence. Only nodding and humming in response to whatever Nami had to say. You weren’t doing it to spite her. You were just hurt by the situation. You thought… Well, you guessed it didn’t matter now.

That was what you tried to tell yourself at least. When you finally left the restaurant, moments similar to the one in the restaurant swirled around in your head. You eventually came to a full stop before you could even get as far as five feet from the building. Nami noticed that you weren’t following her and stopped as well.

She turned to face you. There was confusion on her face, “What’s up?”

Honestly, you probably should say nothing. You should probably say that everything is fine and act like nothing happened. But you were so consumed by all the negative feelings that you couldn’t be silent anymore, “What are we doing, Nami?” The girl looked even more confused. You crossed your arms, “Come on. You know what I mean. What are we,” You motioned to the two of you, “Doing?”

“What do you mean?” Nami inquired.

A huff escaped you. You placed a hand on your forehead to keep your incoming headache at bay. You removed the hand and made eye contact with her, “We keep doing this back-and-forth thing. I show that I genuinely like you with words and actions. You reciprocate. You show that you may like me and then the moment someone mentions something about it, you immediately shut it down. Why? What’s so wrong about being with me?”

For a moment, there was a flash of panic on Nami’s face. Almost like she realized she let her expression slip, she morphed the expression into a blank one, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s been no romantic feelings between us. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression but I don’t feel that way toward you.”

You couldn’t believe that she was trying to play dumb right now. If she had been honest with you, maybe you would’ve reacted better. Since she chose to lie, you didn’t really give yourself time to think of a better response than what you gave, “You have been giving me signs that you like me, Nami. Everything you do towards me has a hidden meaning behind it, and that face you’re making says everything,” Nami shifted slightly. It was clear that she was becoming uncomfortable. “What? Do you not want to admit it because you don’t want to like me?”

“Look, you’re obviously just reading the signals wrong. We’re just friends.” Nami tried to say.

Your eyes widened when you realized what it was, “Nami, do you not want to admit that you like girls?” There was silence. That was all the confirmation you needed. All the anger you felt previously faded away. You tried to be more understanding. You were in her situation at one point too. “There’s nothing wrong with liking girls. It doesn’t make you weird, it’s not something horrible. You’re not going to get in trouble for-”

“Stop,” Nami’s voice was stern. You immediately stopped talking. Looking into her eyes, you saw anger. But there was something else there. It was fear. “I don’t like you. I have never liked you. We are just friends. Get that through your head. I don’t like you and I don’t like girls. I like guys and I am very comfortable in my own sexuality.” Now that was something you doubted. You had never seen Nami show any interest in a man whatsoever. The only time was when she wanted to get something out of them. That’s why she let Sanji hang around her so much. He was head over heels in love with her and she could get whatever she wanted out of him.

Those were her final words. She continued to make her way to the Going Merry. Leaving you standing there, taking in all the stares of the people who had witnessed the situation. You shifted anxiously. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to go back to the Going Merry with Nami like she was now. You didn’t want to stick around here because of how everyone was staring at you. You just walked off in a direction and hoped for the best.

Things were a bit rocky after that. It took a while before things went back to normal. You tried to keep your feelings at bay, trying not to show how much you cared for her since she was clearly not ready to admit that she liked you back. Even though she kept acting like she liked you still. Either way, you certainly weren’t going to force her to like you. It was ultimately her choice. You had nothing to do with it. No matter how much it hurt, you would respect her decision.

There was one thing you noticed after that conversation though. Nami went out of her way to show more attraction to men. She indulged Sanji more than usual. When the crew went out to a bar, she let men buy her drinks and would let them stick around, flirting with her. It always made you sick to your stomach to see it. That’s why you were standing in the corner of the bar, nursing a drink in your hand as you couldn’t take your eyes off Nami flirting with some random guy.

You took a deep breath and gulped down whatever was left in your drink. You barely registered the sound of someone sitting beside you in the booth. You only realized they were there when they spoke up, “Now that’s the look of a sad drunk.” It was Zoro. You barely even glanced over at him.

“I’m not drunk.”

“So you admit you’re sad?”

“… I didn’t say that,” You looked over at him to see that he was giving you an unbelieving look. He wasn’t going to push you to talk with him about it though. That’s not his style. He just drank down the better he had previously ordered. He didn’t have to do much to get you to talk. The alcohol and his quietness had broken you down, “I just don’t get it. She acts like she likes me back but doesn’t want to say she does when asked. I tell her that there’s nothing wrong with liking me or liking girls and then she forces herself to tolerate any man that comes in her direction. I just..,” You could feel yourself tearing up. “Why can’t it be me? Am I that bad?”

There was a moment of silence. Love was not Zoro’s forte, anyone could tell you that. He could tell you how to take down an opponent in seconds but you ask him a question about love? He would look at you like you’re stupid. Still, he tried his best, “It’s all her. There’s nothing you can do about it besides suck it up.” To anyone else, it would’ve sounded harsh. Over the time you’d spent together, you knew that this was his way of showing that he cared.

You grinned tearfully, “Thanks, Zoro,” He shrugged. You turned back to Nami to see that she was glancing at you. You felt like everything in the room froze. You sucked in a deep breath and stood up, “I think I’ve had enough drinks for tonight. I’m going back to the boat.”

“Don’t fall into the water,” He only said that because you were swaying slightly from the amount of drinks you had. You only waved him off, heading out of the bar and in the direction of the boat.

What you didn’t know was that you had someone following you. The only way you knew was when you heard a familiar voice call out to you, “Hey, are you okay?” You could tell it was Nami.

If you had been slightly more sober, you would’ve acted appropriately. You were not sober in the least. “Why would you care? I thought you didn’t like me like that.”

A sigh escaped Nami, “Are you still upset about that? That was months ago.”

“Yes, I’m still upset!” You swerved around to look at her. You had tears in your eyes and hurt was shown all over your face. “I have a right to be upset! I put my all into what I thought was something between us. You act like you feel the same. Then you pull the rug out from under me every time. Leaving me standing there feeling like a fucking idiot!”

“Listen, I’m sorry that you’re hurt,” Nami started. You scoffed at this, visibility rolling your eyes. “I didn’t mean to lead you on… I just don’t feel that way towards you.”

There was a moment of silence. You would think you were thinking about the correct thing to say. You weren’t. You were just trying to process the utter bullshit she was spewing at you. “No, you listen, Nami,” Nami was taken aback by your assertive tone. “I know that you feel some type of way about me. What it is, I honestly don’t know anymore because of how much you’ve deluded yourself into ignoring how you really feel.”

“Deluding myself?” Nami was starting to get upset now. “Why would I even do that? Be serious!”

“I am!” You exclaimed. “I have never been more serious than right now. You don’t feel comfortable about the fact that you like another girl so you are trying to force yourself to like whatever guy comes your way. I am done acting like you don’t know what you’re doing. Whatever you want to do is on you but the way you’re living right now is no way to live,” You sucked in a deep breath. You could feel the anger rising inside you. “I am done waiting for you to realize that you feel something toward me. You can go and be with whatever guy that throws themselves at you. Just know that one day, you’ll wake up and look back on everything we could’ve had, and I know that you’ll be beating yourself up over it. You’ll be laying in bed next to a man you forced yourself to be with, remembering this exact moment where I say this. I fucking told you so.” You walked away. You were done. You couldn’t do it anymore.

And you were right. Months and months in the future, Nami got together with Sanji. On the outside, the two were seemingly happy. They were together after the continuous pining from Sanji and the resistance of Nami. You were a bit bitter about it at first but forced yourself to move on. You wanted to be with someone who wouldn’t be ashamed to say they loved you and Nami wasn’t going to do that. She could do whatever she wanted.

Unfortunately, her decision led her to lie in bed beside a man she didn’t love. She could recall only one moment as she stared at the ceiling with tears in her eyes.

“I fucking told you so.”

.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.

Taglist: @3v37773

If this felt personal, it was 😂. Hashtag been Nami before ✌️.

[crumpet-doodles]

Hey! Umm, can y'all give me your headcanons for Solar from the Sun and Moon show? I'd just like to see them, no matter how weird you think they might be! Here are a few of mine:

☆ Solar might have claustrophobia

I honestly do think that he might have some sort of claustrophobia. I'm basing this off of two things that happened in the lore vids:

In "Eclipse MOVES IN in VRCHAT," when Moon says that he could convert one of the party rooms into a temporary living space for Solar, Solar says "I'm more uh... I don't really like rooms." I know this was probably a bit overlooked, but on my second re-watch I noticed it, and an idea started forming in my brain-

Another example is in "Eclipse has a NEW IDENTITY!? in VRCHAT," where as he and Moon walk through this long, horrendously yellowish-orange hallway, Solar says "I hate this room. This hallway." This could be taken as to how empty the hallway is (As Moon comments) or to how it reminds him of a Half Life 2 map. (I think that's what he said-) Again, this could be easily ignored, but it just adds to my little theory~

One more thing is just something I speculate- he might have claustrophobia from some kind of trauma from his old dimension, specifically from the Moon that he lived with. I think that his Moon was highly abusive to him, and I can imagine him being put into a similar situation as Sun, where his Moon trapped him in a magical barrier, and left him there alone for an unspecified period of time. I can also imagine Solar just generally being trapped in a room/isolated, because Moon didn't know what else to do when Solar first... appeared? I guess? In his Sun.

Also, he'd probably try to hide it because he thinks it's stupid.

☆ Solar is an insomniac

I honestly think that he just has a hard time sleeping, his brain is just running around everywhere 24/7- (Damn he's pretty relatable)

He will literally run himself into the ground before taking a break/resting. In "Eclipse has a NEW IDENTITY!? in VRCHAT," Moon calls him an "insane motherfucker" when he admits that he fixed the Daycare, Theater, Gift Shop, and more, in a week. A WEEK. Then after a tour and some talk, he passes out from running out of battery, due to being on 1% charge. He's overworking himself. He needs sleep.

HE SOUNDS ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED IN "Lunar and Earth's GROUP THERAPY in VRCHAT," LIKE BRO- He said he was working on 2 separate things, both for 5 hours straight- He really needs to sleep- get him a beanbag or something-

Also, this could be another trauma-related thing, where he just doesn't feel safe sleeping, or he has nightmares. However, this is probably just me overthinking and reading too much into this situation.

When he DOES fall asleep, it's usually in the most arbitrary places ever. At the desk in the daycare, in one of the play structures, etc. I... have a feeling that he's probably fallen asleep on that green little mat/platform thing in the ball pit before. Or just literally in the ball pit itself.

☆ Solar's just generally insecure about his looks

Looking like the OG Eclipse model, he probably has some issues with what he looks like, and is most likely frustrated about how people keep mistaking him for Eclipse.

Also, coming back to the whole "his dimension's Moon giving him trauma" thing. His Moon probably called him a lot of things, all of them horrible. Solar keeps mentioning how aggressive and angry his Moon was, so again, it would fit the profile.

In "Lunar and Earth's GROUP THERAPY in VRCHAT," When Solar talks about him working, Earth says "That might have something to do with you not feeling like you fit in." Please, he needs comfort and more therapy-

☆Solar is touch starved

Do I even have to explain?

Also, I feel like even though he IS touch starved, he doesn't... realize it, exactly. He has really closed off body language (For some reason I can imagine that his idle pose/stance is having his arms crossed) and is just generally unsure about how he should properly show physical affection.

Do you know what I mean? Like, you think you just don't like physical touch, but it just turns out you were full of anxiety on how to properly show it that when somebody DOES end up giving you a hug or something similar that the realization just... hits you? Really hard? (Dear Stars this is over-specific am I ok???) Solar might also be comfortable with one person/small group of people actually touching him. Or if people ask. (Ok I need to shut up, now I'm just projecting my personal experiences into my headcanons for him-)

This could also be attributed to the insecure thing but eh.

Quick thing I'd also like to say, his model, (or "suit," as they call it in the show) is slightly different from the other's, because as his dimension's Moon stated, it was an older model that never got used. I think it's just lankier, skinnier, and maybe has a tail, as these features were being experimented with for the newer daycare attendants, the ones who actually got used (Solar's dimension's Sun and Moon.)

(Note: I might edit this post as things change/lore vids drop!)

(Damn, this turned into a whole-ass essay-) So yeah! If you've made it this far, thank you, and if you have any headcanons of your own that you're willing to share, please do! I'd be delighted to see them!

[harryforvogue]

The Queen's Going Away Party*

It's nearly time for Hades and Persephone to part once more. This is that story. But made kind of positive. This is purely a self indulgent fic. It's also an apology for not writing as much as I used to and for the horrendous title.

It's 4.5k words. There's some smut at the end, but it's mostly just Hades!Harry being grumpy as hell and Persephone trying to keep it together.

***

Hades, or Harry, looks at his wife across the table as she speaks with Thanatos to redefine the barriers of the incoming souls for the next day. “The grays,” she says softly, pointing at the map she’s made herself with parchment and ink, “must be spoken to after they’ve crossed the river Styx. I’ll speak with them as well to make sure they’re peaceful and not restless. Hopefully the abode we’ve made for them will keep them satiated and at bay for the day. Charon will be negotiated with later today as well.”

Persephone first introduced the idea of a “going away party” when she arrived back to Hades 6 months ago. She’d excitedly spoken about this new thing that mortals introduce where they celebrate goodbyes with drinks, food, music, and dance instead of sorrow and anguish. It's what she envisioned for her own departure. Now that it's actually happening, Harry isn’t so sure he’s all that excited about the idea.

“To go out with a big bang, as the mortals say,” she’d argued, fluttering around him as he walked away from her at the first mention of it. His fists were clenched, an odd tightness in his chest.

“I will not be celebrating you leaving the realm you belong in,” he’d said, avoiding her.

“I belong in two places, darling. And you’re not actually celebrating me leaving. You’re celebrating the promise that I’ll be back. And spring.”

He had rolled his eyes. “I’m not too keen on celebrating something I never experience. Nor care about.” He'd added the last part angrily and regretted it afterwards, but his wife was too worked up about other things to take offense.

She’d held her ground in front of him, her hands on his chest. She’d slammed the door shut to their room without looking and stared up at him angrily. “I don’t care that you don’t know what spring is. I don’t care that all you know is gloominess and darkness and ghosts. What I do care about is that when I’m leaving, I’ll want us to be enjoying ourselves. So fine. Don’t celebrate my leaving or spring or sunshine, but celebrate the amazing 6 months we’re about to have together.”

Hades had wrapped his hands around her biceps, picked her up, and set her aside. “I will not be happy that day no matter how many heroes and warriors and drinks you bring to this party. I will be mourning the loss of my wife, who I won’t see for the next 6 months.”

She trailed after him as he continued out of their room. Upon leaving, Hades had run into Hermes who had grinned and held a scroll, saying, “Your brother is pissed off. Guess which one?”

“Who invited you in?”

“Hecate of course. Hey, look. Guess the right brother and I’ll spin your queen a dress of pure gold.”

But Harry had waved Hermes away and called for Hecate to secure him somewhere out of his sight. He’d ignored the way Hermes had muttered, “Well, I don’t blame Zeus.” And normally, Harry would have very big problems with others coming in between his feud with his brothers, but he was too angry with his wife to care.

“Listen to me,” Persephone continued, stalking after him. “Why must we weep and suffer when I leave? I hate it too, so can’t we just try this? Something new? You know, the mortals seem to like it just fine.”

Hades stopped, turning to face his wife. “We,” he said quietly, angrily, “are not mortals. We experience emotions worse than them. My sorrow for my wife leaving me is nothing compared to anything a mortal would feel.”

She sighed, crossing her arms. “Let’s just try it. Just once. Let it be a parting gift. Look.” She brightened. “You can help me with the guest list.”

Hermes, being dragged away by Hecate by the scruff of his neck, had called over, “Allow me three plus ones, my King! I have three lovers currently!”

“Remove Hermes from the guest list considerations immediately.”

“You prick!”

“Just think about it,” Persephone insisted. “We have time. Do this for me.”

And Harry had given in. She’d asked so many times and promised so many things, he gave his consent two months in.

She looks beautiful across the table, putting the final touches for tomorrow. He hears her murmur. “Are the musicians ready? Good. And we’ve got all the answers to our invitations, correct? Remind me of who is attending?”

Thanatos goes into a long monologue of those invited. “Amongst the confirmed are Nyx, Eros, Psyche, Pan, Achilles, Hesphaestus, Artemis, Lethe, the Moirae, Adonis–”

“Not Adonis,” Harry groans, imagining the deity fawning over Persephone as he always does.

She just smiles. “It’ll be entertaining. It’s not as if half the invites won’t be falling at your feet.”

“Continue the list, Thanatos.”

“Yes, sir. Patroclus. Nemesis, Apate, though she is, er, in a spat with our mother. Harmonia, Hecate, Hermes, myself…” He continues on and on. Hades falls into a deeper pit of despair.

“Amongst the declined are Hypnos, Morpheus, Keres–”

“Why was Keres even invited?” Harry interrupts.

Persephone shrugs. “Formality. The gesture extends to Acheron, Macaria, Styx, and several others.”

“I see. Not too many of the annoying ones then.”

She laughs. “I made sure not to include them. After all, it’s a party not a riot.”

Thanatos stands from the table. “I’m off to speak to Charon about the souls then. I’ll give him several gold coins for his cooperation.”

“Shouldn’t we consider telling him to stop asking for gold for a trip across the river? It’s been millennia and we don’t even need the gold.”

Harry stands, walking over to take Thanatos’s place when the deity leaves. “It’s not about the money,” he says, sitting down. “It’s Charon who thrives from routine. He doesn’t believe in anything free either.”

“But can’t we be the ones giving him the gold?”

“I give him gold all the time and yet he still asks for coins.”

“I’ve had to ask Hecate to retrieve several wandering souls just this past week because they were unable to pay.”

Hades reaches over and tucks her hair behind her ear. It’s normally braided into a crown around her head, but she’s left it open this morning. He kisses her forehead and holds her hands, resting his head on hers. “I cannot find the words to express how much I’ll miss you,” he says softly, swallowing. “I find myself unable to dwell too long on it.”

He feels her warm hands squeeze his. “We’ve survived it before, haven’t we?”

“Yes but what if something happens this time? What if a new deity of destruction comes along and destroys the Kingdom and I’m left suffering without out?”

She laughs softly. “That will not happen. And you, my love, are far too strong to succumb to any baby deity. Remember when you thought Oizys was a threat to the Kingdom?”

“To be fair, she’s far more gloomy and miserable than I am and yet everyone only thinks of me when they’re talking of that nature.”

“Right. And besides, I highly doubt Nyx and Hecate will allow ruin to this realm. Especially Nyx. You know how passionate she gets about it.” His wife leans in and kisses his cheek gently. “And I will be back before you know it.”

“I tire of it,” Harry admits. “I tire of you leaving me for so long.”

“But don’t you love our reunions? It’s all I can think about when I’m in the mortal realm. The look on your face when I descend back to you.”

Harry holds her face and kisses her. “I could never do what you do. Be in two places. Two homes, both magnetic, pulling you apart. You are too strong.”

She laughs against his mouth. “My love, you rule a realm. The entirety of it. The world is on your shoulders, and yet you claim I am strong?”

“You are strong in ways I could never be. You are in pain more often than I am. Losing both your husband and your mother separately.” He closes his eyes. “Kore, I wish for you to have fun tomorrow. That’s all I want. Whatever you ask for, you shall have.”

She smiles, throwing her arms around his neck, climbing into his lap. She kisses him over and over, hard. “Oh how I love you,” she whispers, hugging him tight. “I’ll miss you so much.”

***

The next day, the entire palace is lively with music, guests, and decor. Hades finds his wife in the middle of all of it, happily chatting with the gods and goddesses. When Persephone first arrived in the Underworld, she had been a shy and ambitious goddess, ready to take on the task at hand. And over the thousands of years, she’s become the terrifying, beautiful queen that this realm always needed.

When he’d look over at her the first few years, he’d see the timid goddess everyone overlooked, trying to raise her voice high enough so people would actually hear her. Now, she’s a ball of light amongst the darkness, her glow radiating off her body to the corners of the palace, her laughter loud, her kindness bold.

Hades smiles as he takes a sip of his champagne. His heart aches. He wishes for her to stay.

She catches his eye. She looks ethereal in her dark dress, a true frightening queen. Her smile is wide as she holds her hand out and beckons him into the group. Nyx glances over at him, her daughter besides her. They both look at him with respect, but also sadness. They always do.

He takes Persephone’s hand. “Yes, my queen?”

“We were just talking about how it’s great that lovers are reunited at the party. We should host more events like these, hm?”

They all look over at Achilles and Patroclus deeply engaged in a heated discussion under the bright chandelier near the musicians. “Yes,” Harry says, “well, I do have to argue that they’re never truly parted as they live in the field together.”

“I cannot imagine being with the same person for my whole life,” Nyx says, taking a sip of her water. “Doesn’t it get, you know, repetitive? No offense to you two.”

Persephone shakes her head and laughs. “Oh do not worry, my friend. Well, the commitment is frightening, but it also proves to be tremendous amounts of fun.”

Harry wraps his arm around her. “She speaks the truth. And I’m positive that life also cannot get boring when you’re also ruling an entire realm.”

“And when your wife is gone half the year.” Everyone turns their cold eyes to the god who’s strutted up to their half circle. He throws a big arm over Apate’s shoulder.

“Ares,” Harry says, downing his drink. “How great of you to join us.”

Ares pushes his sunglasses down his nose and peers at them all with a grin. “Oh how could I miss the chance to be here. Look at all this festivity. I’m itching to wreak havoc, I can hardly contain myself.”

“Would you look at that?” Harry murmurs. “Hephaestus, my dear friend. How are you doing?”

Ares immediately stands straight and glances over his shoulder, swallowing. He finds nobody there, and Persephone giggles next to her husband, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Prick,” Ares hisses, fixing his blond hair. “He’s not really here, is he?”

“Oh, he is.”

“Fuck.” His fists close and open in, what Harry thinks, is an attempt to ease his temper. He glances back at Persephone and Hades, giving them a slight bow. “My queen, I hope you enjoy your night. We eagerly await your return to the mortal lands.” And then he disappears.

Apate fixes the earring Ares ruffled, snickering. “How anybody could be afraid of Hephaestus is beyond me.”

“I’ve come to realize,” Hades says, “that he can be terrifying if provoked enough. And I for one do not plan on ever getting on his bad side.”

“Yes,” Persephone says, looping her arm around her husband’s. “But he cannot be more scary than you.”

He raises his eyebrows, holding her chin. “Is that so?”

“Well,” Nyx says, grabbing Apate who is watching the king and queen with wide, interested eyes. “We’ll be off to join the party then. We will, of course, be here to see you off in the morning, so there’s no need for goodbyes just yet.”

“But Ma–” Apate sighs as she’s being dragged away. Persephone laughs. 

“How are you finding the party?” Harry asks her, pulling her along until she’s standing in front of him. The gld lights shimmer in her eyes, her pretty lips in a smile.

“I’m enjoying myself greatly.” She sets her champagne glass next to Harry’s on a nearby table and then loops her arms around his neck. “And yourself?”

“I’m enjoying it a lot more than I expected. We haven’t seen a party like this in a while, have we?”

“You host lavish banquets when I arrive every year.”

“Well, that may be, but we rarely have this many people in the palace. Everyone seems to be busy too. With all these gods and goddesses here, I’m wondering how the mortal realm is doing.”

She smiles. “If Ares is here, I imagine everything is calm up there.”

“That is true.” He leans in and softly kisses her, arms around her waist. She sighs, kissing him back. “I realize I never thanked you for not inviting any of my family that are, er, horrendous to be around.”

“Yes,” Persephone says, twirling his curls between her fingers, her eyes hazy. “I did not invite Aphrodite. I doubt she’d even come down here. The mere thought of a party that isn’t in her name would send her in a frenzy. And I myself am glad we did not invite…” she trails off, her eyes hardening. “Apollo.”

“Yes, because if he were here, I’d absolutely lose my–”

“No,” she says. “I mean. Apollo. He’s right there.” Her eyes are wide now, confused. “Wait. I did not invite him. I specifically put him in really big letters on the DO NOT INVITE list. Thanatos knew not to–”

“You’re not serious,” Harry says, frozen. “He’s not really–”

“My king, Lord Hades!”

“No,” he whispers. “Please no. Seph, tell me he’s not really there. It’s a nightmare. It’s just a nightmare. He’s not really behind me.”

But his wife’s eyes are still big. “I’m so sorry, my love. There he is.”

A big hand grabs his shoulder, pulling the king and queen apart. There’s only one person who has the audacity to do that. Well, him and his father.

“Apollo.” Hades says, taking deep breaths. He shoves his hands into his pockets to avoid accidentally punching his nephew in the face. “It’s you. And you’re here. In my house.”

Apollo grins, nodding. His blond hair is swept off his forehead, tucked behind his ears, clad in a white suit. He looks radiant, his eyes clear. He holds a bouquet of flowers in one hand, though they’re wilted and dead, and in another, there’s… a cat? “I am!”

Persephone peeks out from around Hades. She points at the orange cat that seems happy resting in the crook of Apollo’s arm. Its purring can be heard from several feet away. “How did you get that thing past Charon?”

“I gave him 50 gold coins of course.”

“For a cat?”

“Why did you even bring a cat?” Harry interjects. “More importantly, why are you even here? Who invited you?”

Apollo’s laugh is a booming noise. “Ah, I do not ever require an invitation to show up somewhere. After all, where there’s a party, there’s Apollo.” He shrugs. “I should be offended that I wasn’t invited, however, this is no subject to get upset about. All that matters is that I am here and your party is saved from suffering the same tragedy the entire underworld realm does: boredom.”

Harry feels the corner of his eye twitch. “So you invited yourself.”

“That’s an easy way to put it! Here. Let me introduce you to my companion for the night. I wasn’t sure if I should bring a plus one or not, therefore I bring with me a majestic creature that counts more as a friend than an extra.” He holds the orange cat up. The cat squints its eyes at Hades and Persephone. “His name is Apollo.”

“You named your cat after yourself?”

“But of course!” Apollo exclaims passionately. “A creature as beautiful and fierce as this one must be given the name it deserves! A worthy name! A name that makes love bloom, a name that makes the poets wish to write, the musicians wish to play! Apollo!”

For a moment, both Harry and Persephone are too stunned to speak. Harry’s glad it’s Persephone that offers Apollo a meek, “How riveting,” because he doesn’t know if he should laugh in his nephew's face or suggest Zeus exile the poor kid to humble him.

“But I digress!” Apollo says. “Now tell me, which person do you believe I should approach first?”

“Hecate,” Persephone offers immediately, throwing a look at Harry. “Trust me. She’s totally into you.”

“Hmm,” Apollo says, searching the crowd. “You’re right. I’ve seen the way she looks at my triceps. Here I go!”

Harry wraps his arm around his wife’s waist as they watch an ambitious Apollo strut off. “You’re terrible,” he tells her, kissing the top of her head.

“I am,” she giggles. “You are so different from everyone else, did you know that?”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Yes, well, it’s a shame there aren’t enough tree growing vegetation goddesses out there. Oh wait. There totally are. There’s Hestia and mother and Artemis when she feels like it and–”

“Alright, I get it. So what if the world is lacking in gloomy, evil underworld rulers?”

Persephone’s eyes shine. “You may be gloomy, but most definitely not evil.”

“Mm, no? Perhaps I just put on an act in front of you to impress.”

“Ah my love it cannot be an act since you still haven’t perfected it. I can see how you are when you must judge souls. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes you don’t want to remove parents from their children, lovers from their lovers.” She smiles. “Whether you like it or not, you get caught up in emotions in regards to mortals.”

“That may be,” he says, yanking her close. He leans down and kisses her softly. “But nothing gets me more caught up than you.”

She grins and kisses him back, arms flung around his broad shoulders. “Good,” she says, holding his collar. “That’s the way it should be.”

***

Near the end of the party, Hades gets on the dais and raises his glass, tapping against it. The crowd falls silent. Even Apollo stops making out one of Nyx’s daughters, looking at Hades with hazy eyes.

“Thank you all,” Harry says loudly, “for being here. When Persephone first introduced the idea of a party before her departure, I was not pleased with it. I didn’t like that we’d be celebrating her leaving, but now I realize that it wasn’t so. This party, in fact, is a celebration of everything she has done to keep the Underworld,” he looks over at her, “and I in tact.”

Tears sparkle in Persephone’s eyes. Hades swallows hard and continues, “Our queen leaving us will never be easy. But while we mourn the loss, we shall look forward to her return.” He points his glass in his wife’s direction, “To my wife. The beautiful and terrifying. To Persephone.”

The crowd repeats after him. “To Persephone!”

She takes a sip of her champagne and whispers thank you, keeping her eyes on Hades. He ducks his head in a small acknowledging nod and then drinks his own champagne. He holds his hand out for her and she joins him on the dais. The crowd cheers harder for her. Harry smiles. All for her.

Apollo the Cat joins them on the stage and rubs up against their legs. Persephone just laughs through her tears.

When the guests begin to leave around an hour later, they both say their goodbyes. To several gods and goddesses, she reminds them she’ll see them soon. To the grays, she tells them to count down 6 months from now.

Harry holds her face when they’re in the privacy of their own bedchamber. He kisses her softly. “You said no tears,” he whispers, wiping away the moisture on her cheeks. “No tears or sadness.”

“There will always be sadness,” she softly cries, surging forward, hugging him tight, “when you leave the ones you love.”

“And yet you manage to do it twice every year.”

“And twice every year, someone welcomes me with open arms.” She lifts her head up and looks at him through her tears. “Oh how I hate this part.”

“My love,” he murmurs, wiping her tears as they fall over and over. He runs his thumb over her trembling lip. “I will always mourn you, but wait for your return. Right by the entrance of our palace. I’ll wait for you for 6 months, a year, several years. As long as you come back to me. To your home. I can wait forever.” He holds her close, resting his head against hers. “I love you, Kore. You’ve always known that.”

“I have.” She kisses him again passionately, pouring all her love into it. She slides her fingers into his hair and tilts her head back when he starts kissing down the column of her throat and down to the dip of her neckline.

She gasps softly when his warm hands tug on the sleeves of her dress, slowly baring her shoulders for him to atack with his kisses. She shudders and grabs his collar, bringing him to the bed behind them.

In a mess of laughter, they fall back against the bed. Hades’s curls fall into her eyes, his hands all over her body as she kisses him through it all. He climbs over her and settles between her legs, watching as she removes her dress, throwing it somewhere behind her.

He holds her waist, kissing her stomach tenderly. Her hips. Her thighs.

Her fingers tighten in his hair. Harry grabs her hips and tugs her down to the edge of the bed, kneeling before her. She sits half up, watching him pull her underwear out of the way, whining when he softly bites her thigh.

“Ow,” she whispers. He smiles in response, parting her legs.

“My queen.”

He licks her softly, chuckling when she dramatically falls against the bed and swears. His hands hold her thighs tightly, keeping her hips down. His eyes flutter shut as he loses himself in the act, tasting her, drowning in her moans and whimpers.

She’s already so wet, and he suspects she has been for some time. Since the party, perhaps. Or since he locked the door behind them when they got to their chamber, as if anyone was going to interrupt them on their last night.

Persephone tugs on his hair. When he sinks two fingers inside of her, she swears again, and the walls around them tremble. He’s reminded of the time she ruined the cabin in the forest from the pleasure she felt. He wonders if he can ever get her to the point where she ruins their room.

“Please,” she whispers, his curls now laced between her fingers. She raises her hips to meet his mouth, helping them mouth. Harry curves his fingers inside of her, grinning when she groans, throwing her head back.

He keeps his fingers in her as he focuses his mouth above her entrance, licking, sucking, and everything in between. She’s drenched him completely as the minute passes and soon, she’s dropping her hands from his hair and grabbing their silk sheets.

She whispers words in Greek, English, French. Everything. It just comes tumbling out as she falls apart on him, her body trembling with her orgasm so beautifully, Harry wishes he could stay there on his knees before her for another century. He suspects it still wouldn’t be enough.

He pulls out of her, wipes his mouth and then grabs her face. He kisses her hard, arm around her shaking frame, holding her tight to his chest afterwards.

Persephone breathes hard, holding his no longer crisp shirt as if to make sure he won’t leave her. He never does.

“I love you,” he whispers, kissing her face again and again. “I’ll wait for you. I always do. I always will. I’ll be here for eternity for you, I swear it, my dear lover.”

He’s not surprised to see tears in her eyes again when he pulls away to help her put more clothes on. Instead of offering her any more words, he lets her cry on his chest as he tucks both of them away into their bed.

She’s still sniffling even as she’s drifting asleep, head buried in his neck.

“Do you want me to wake you when I leave?” she asks several minutes later, looking up at him with her tear streaked face.

“Of course. I’ll see you off. All the way back to Charon.”

She sniffles again. “You’ll have to let the souls back in when you’re returning. I only bribed Charon to tolerate the grays for a day.”

“That’s fine. I’m their ruler. It's my job. But do you want Hermes to be with you? It’s no fun returning to the mortal world alone.”

But Persephone only shakes her head and reaches for her husband’s hand. She tucks it under her chin and sighs deeply. “No. I want you to be the last face I see when I leave, and my mother the first face I see when I arrive.”

“Whatever you wish, my love.”

Harry raises her chin and kisses her once more, finding himself holding his own sorrowful tears back. 

“You are my world,” he reminds her, carding his fingers through her hair. It’s been long released from its braid. “Return to me quickly so that I may resume worshiping you again.”

Persephone closes her eyes and nods. “I love you, too, my king. To you, I’ll quickly return.”

[worldsokayestmagicalgirl]

The first batch of pictures for Amoré's character journal are here! Also I have been so super sick that I've literally had nothing to do but to work on this for like almost 2 weeks so...

The cover to cover tour officially starts here. All I can say about the front & back is that I lament my lack of experience with my Cricut when I made these decals. I only had 2 "fun" colors to work with at the time & I was still getting comfortable drawing in Procreate, so my silhouette art leaves a lot to be desired compared to some stuff I've made recently. I also found it's incredibly easy to burn this leather book.

But she's volume one, everything with her is a learning experience, & I realized as much as it helps to have a mini heat press for tight corners & small spaces, the cloth barrier they suggest you use between the vinyl & the iron tends to make things harder to press on this scale. So instead I gotta quickly tap straight on the transfer film & hope I don't burn anything around it :(´◦ω◦｀):ﾟﾟ

So at the risk of thoroughly exposing my inner theater kid, Amoré set the precedent with how I went forward creating campaign characters. I started off collecting 5 songs to make a mini story arc (almost like a show choir set list 🙃) that helps me figure out an outline for the kind of story I wanna give them.

Somehow Amoré ended up with a truly horrendous blend of rock & theatre. Absolutely incredibe. No wonder she's always such a dramatic bitch.

It was a lot easier to go in & add little decals around these lyrics. I'm definitely cursed with the Too Much™ gene, but I enjoy the little pops of color they give ✨ plus it justifies me hoarding all these vinyl scraps printing stuff this small lol.

Stat sheet!

In all honesty, as my first character I had no fucking clue what I was doing when I placed these & if I could go back & change one thing I'd probably swap her Intelligence & her Wisdom. She’s definitely more people smart than book smart.

But everything else is...very accurate. She has all the upper body strength of a chicken nugget. Plus on top of the (already) negative I traded disadvantage on everything DEX for magic crystal shoes that can be periodically harvested. Just a way for her to carry around the family fortune without actually having to return to the vault✨

For something that started so average, her CON became a monster & always comes in clutch for her alcohol tolerance. I've played variations of her across a few different one shots & I always manage to roll well for anything alcohol related. The dice do respect a bit 🤣

Spells on the other hand, I floundered with a lot at first because we’re not a combat heavy game, but then I found Chaos Bolt & that was that. It’s essentially Amoré in spell form & I’ve had a ton of fun with it over the years. Also Mage Armor cuz my girl is SO DISTRESSINGLY SQUISHY.

Cantrips were more or less a bit of a toss up. Message was fun for the sheer idea of her using it to talk shit during social events without being caught. But aside from Light serving fun backstory purposes the other 3 are kinda just what looked fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ unless you count the idea that she would absolutely delight in zapping handshakes.

From there, I wanted to extend the world map made by our wonderful DM @cappierong into a full scroll. Ya know, for the aesthetic ✨

Our campaign started in Civania, where Amoré's main Estate is. I just wanted a quick mock up to reference, so I edited a preexisting picture I found that checked all the boxes (large, on a plateau, accessible only by bridge) and then absolutely smothered it in flowers.

But anyways... This is primarily where Diana & Amoré grew up together in their decade of backstory ✨

There was probably waaaay to much back & forth trying to keep the continuity between stuff I've already drawn & this big reference. But I think it turned out pretty ok? Not like if I make a mistake anyone will really know lol.

Scaling was also another big issue I had, & I moments where I thought something was too big I just kinda handwaved it away like "ehhhhh she's from a stupid rich family." But now I have a NEED to draw baby Diana & Amoré around like, the statue gardens or something cuz I feel like certain parts of this place are definitely ominous 👀 especially for children...

And lastly we have the back cover & the High Noble political relationship map! I normally have this closer to the front but for layout purposes it'll be here. I kinda feel like I need to do more for the decoration of it but I can’t think of anything else to add at the moment.

Sam if u read that no you didn't.

But now! Other than a family portrait that I've always wanted to draw, I think I'm ready to move onto the art for Season 1 : Arc 2. It's a pretty hefty amount of art in comparison to others, so I gotta get busy. Especially since I think I'm gonna have to draw a few comics *sobs*

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I'm always excited to talk out our little idiots so thanks for indulging me ❀(*´▽`*)❀

[horseslur]

Things that are horrendously and embarassingly bad about sse/sso:

Game code and glitches and bugs

Weekly update schedule

Community management

This kind of falls under all three but generally Every part of the game feels unfinished and detached from the rest. Quests don't match up. Basic visual objects (clothing, tack) glitch through each other. Added content is frequently blatantly untested.

I'm not even diving into the dynamics within the company itself.

Or its horrendous marketing.

Also in game items have big inflation problems. Largely caused by the fact that the max amount of js a player can carry at any given time is capped at an amount you can max out in a day or two, which is automatically also a Very Low maximum that you can price an item.

The half-hearted retrofitting whenever they update a part of the game. Horse speed breaking quests. Retrofitting new tack to basic horses. This kind of ties back into point number one.

Things that I Genuinely Like about SSO/are done really well/have no better alternative in the games industry:

Sound design? I feel like people don't talk about this enough. Not just the music but also atmospheric elements are really well done, even if the game struggles with sound triggers sometimes. I especially like the horse-related sounds, as stupid as it sounds. If i can ride a horse in a video game I'm judging it by the noises the horse's hooves make. SSO is like right below tears of the kingdom in that for me.

Map design: It's frankly very impressive how every spot in Jorvik has really good views, and the balance between feeling like places are miles away and giving you excellent traveltime, while still being dense with locations and quest opportunities. Epona feels like three days of travel away, and yet from the right spot you can simply see the castle on the other side of the water!

Individual visual design: I like the look of the new player models (put your nostalgia goggles away. the old shit looks like it belongs in 2005 with oldschool runescape and you know it), same goes with horses, tack, even things like trees and environmental objects. The main problem is the janky mismatch between objects, which traces back to the lack of cohesive long-term vision and planning when it comes to developing the game as a whole, instead of individual parts and pieces.

The thing that actually inspired this post: as troublesome as the js economy is in the game, they've Genuinely hit the mark with starcoins. The goal of a premium currency is the delicate balance between getting as much real-life benefits from your players (whether that be ad revenue or simple direct payment for it) while giving them enough new goodies through it that it makes it worth it for players to put in that extra effort. No company in the industry gives away premium currency on a whim. The 100sc per week, which translates to 5 new horses per year and the occasional bonus if you've saved up more over time, is an excellent structure. You get to buy horses for free if you just wait long enough. You don't need to pay beyond your standard star rider price (and if you haven't bought the permanent version. what are you doing. paying for the pay once option pays itself back in 11 months over the monthly option, and 12 months for the quarterly option. Not even counting the bonus sc you get to begin with). Free weekly sc that are enough for a magic horse 4 times a year, plus a bonus horse or several pets, is an Amazing community service they're frankly doing. And from a company perspective? They are never going to change this in a way that is more beneficial to you. Because the goal of premium currency is not to buy horses, it's to earn the company money. It is the Main way the company earns money. And the 100sc works excellent because it's doing exactly what it needs to do: It's keeping you coming back to buy their new horses, and then makes you go "man I wish I had even more sc", thus tempting you into buying sc. Any increase in starcoins will be the opposite of an incentive to spend money on the game. If management is really stupid and desperate for cash, they will, if anything, decrease the amount of sc you earn, or more subtly increase the price of the things you can buy with it. Because that's what gets you going "Well if I spend just 20 euros, I can buy both new magic horses, and the Dutch Warmblood when it releases in a month."

Starcoins hits a really fucking good sweet spot between earning the company money, and doing a genuine community service by making it accessible on the basic paid version.

[thethirdromana]

I feel like it's worth talking about the description of the ~mysterious person~ in chapter 3 of the Beetle.

Under a cut for discussion of 1890s racism. Also spoilers for the identity of the ~mysterious person~ but I assume we all know that bit already.

The description of the Beetle is racially ambiguous. They often get identified as Arab but that doesn't really hold up with the information we're given (that is, there certainly is anti-Arab racism in this book, but the Beetle is not written as definitively Arab). What they actually are is a hodge-podge of different racial stereotypes. It's like Richard Marsh looked at one of those horrendous 1890s drawings of different people around the world and took one exaggerated trait from each race.

The Beetle's yellow skin and hairlessness seem to be taken from anti-Chinese racism, particularly Yellow Peril imagery. Their small chin and big lips often appear in anti-Black racist caricatures. The mesmeric eyes and hooked nose are anti-Semitic stereotypes; the association between Jewishness and mesmerism was well-established from Trilby, which is a vastly worse book even than the Beetle. There are probably other elements taken from other racist caricatures that I don't recognise.

Because the Beetle doesn't map on to any individual race, it's possible to read this bit and interpret it as a kind of general xenophobic blob. But it's not. There's some quite targeted and specific racism here, and I suspect that the identification of these traits would have been much more obvious to contemporary eyes.

[beardedmrbean]

Progressive politicians and local Michigan Democrats are increasingly distancing themselves from Rashida Tlaib after she defended the use of the controversial pro-Palestinian phrase "from the river to the sea."

On Friday, the Democratic representative for Michigan, who is of Palestinian descent, described the chant as "an aspirational call for freedom, human rights, and peaceful coexistence, not death, destruction, or hate."

"From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free," is a phrase commonly voiced at pro-Palestinian rallies. However, it is contentious because it implies support for the dismantling of the Israeli state, as it references the Jordan River on Israel's eastern border and the Mediterranean Sea to the west.

Hamas, the militant group which staged a surprise attack on Israel on October 7, killing an estimated 1,400, including many civilians, adopted the slogan following its formation in the 1980s, and some Jewish groups say it amounts to antisemitism—though others contest this claim.

Since her public defense of the phrase, Tlaib, who has attended pro-Palestinian rallies and is among those to call for a ceasefire in the current conflict between Israel and Hamas, has been challenged on her remarks by fellow progressives and state party officials.

On Sunday, Bernie Sanders, a senator for Vermont who has championed progressive values, told CNN that while Tlaib was his "friend," that "slogans like '[from] the river to the sea,' if that means the destruction of Israel, that's not going to work."

He added: "People who are saying: 'Israel, right or wrong, we're for you all the way,' that's not going to work [either]. This is a horrendously complex issue."

When asked about whether she agreed with what Tlaib had said, Pramila Jayapal, a U.S. representative for Washington state and chair of the Congressional Progressive Caucus, told MSNBC that she was "not willing to say," but that her colleague was "not the first person to say this."

On Saturday, Dana Nessel, Michigan's attorney general and a Jewish Democrat, told Tlaib that while she had "supported and defended you countless times," her comments on this occasion were "indefensible."

"This is so hurtful to so many," she said. "Please retract this cruel and hateful remark."

Noah Arbit, a Jewish Democrat state representative, said that it was "disturbing and enraging" that the Jewish community in Tlaib's constituency were being represented in Congress by "someone who adopts wholesale the call for the state of Israel to be wiped from the map."

Jeremy Moss, a Michigan state senator who is also Jewish, said of Tlaib's remarks that "this is not how Jews view the phrase." He added: "The words of our congresswoman enflame the tensions here in an already tragic conflict."

Newsweek approached Tlaib's office via email for comment on Monday.

The phrase has received renewed scrutiny as pro-Palestinian protests around the world have grown in response to Israeli military intervention in Gaza, where Hamas is based. To date, the Hamas-run Gaza Health Ministry says over 9,700 Palestinians have been killed, mainly in airstrikes.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL), a U.S. hate watchdog, described the chant as "an antisemitic slogan" as it "den[ies] the Jewish right to self-determination, including through the removal of Jews from their ancestral homeland." It said that usage of the phrase can make Jews "feel unsafe and ostracized."

Others deny the chant always amounts to hate speech, though. On October 20, London's Metropolitan Police said that while it could "envisage scenarios where chanting these words could be unlawful, such as outside a synagogue or Jewish school, or directly at a Jewish person," in the context of a protest it "would not be an offence and would not result in arrests."

However, Suella Braverman, the British home secretary, who is responsible for policing, wrote on X, formerly Twitter: "The slogan was taken up by Islamists, including Hamas, and remains a staple of antisemitic discourse. To hear it shouted in public causes alarm, not just to Jews, but to all decent people."

A pro-Palestinian protest in Austria was banned by police last month as the chant was mentioned in invitations, Reuters reported, However, one pro-Palestinian legal organization recently claimed that an appeals court in the Netherlands had ruled that it was "subject to various interpretations" and did not necessarily relate to Jews.

Amazon has recently come in for criticism for continuing to allow the sale of merchandise bearing the slogan on its platform, while last month, students at George Washington University faced backlash for projecting it, along with other messages, onto the wall of a library.

Related Articles

Full List of Democrats Who Refused To Condemn Hamas Supporters

Rashida Tlaib Launches Furious Attack on Joe Biden

Rashida Tlaib's 'From the River to the Sea' Post Sparks Outrage

[parachutingkitten]

I have two sins that somwhat cohenside:

As a Cole stan for life I despise the Cole is gay HC and have had to abandon the tag because of its prevalence. Lavashipping is a NOTP and of all the art and edits I've seen polluting my Cole tag I still cant see any chemistry or dynamic between them besides they are both attractive. All the ninja ships are incest vibes (not just the gay ones. Looking at you Braincellshipping) to me as they treat eachother and call eachother brothers but at least there was tension and chemistry between the old days of Bruiseshipping. Lava's prevalence online had me quit for a long time as I couldnt understand why it randomly gained such traction and then showrunners made the dumb idea to try and bait fan perceptions in crystalized. I see cole as somewhat aromantic (although the term is mostly meaningless and used to describe anyone who is uncmfortable or disinterested with romance without analysing the deeper psychological reasons that might be the case) but he obviously wants to be a father and I don't see how any of his defined traits attribute to being the fans gay stand in besides the fact that fandom always has the urge to pick one to be the LGBT mascot and create content that isnt there simply for their own self indulgence. I like Coliel (if anyone remembers Seliel) as it leans into Coles obliviousness to advances while it shows off his honorable and protective personality. I don't find Cole particularly coded LGBT in any of the seasons up until Dragons rising, which the episode focussing it was badly written and OOC.

My other "sin" I suppose is I disown ALL of DR for being a horrible soft reboot that does everything a soft reboot shouldn't: messing with preestablished lore in an attempt to prop up these random new characters as just, if not more, powerful than our protagonists. The new writer has a horrible track record with character ensemble shows like TMNT 2012 and its a worthless slap in the face continuation of an ended series. The diologue is horrendously tacky and most jokes dont land. The push by the writers to add in fan characterizations and expand the lore beyond whats established is lazy and uninspired. There is so much left to explore in Ninjago the way it was. We never went to most of the continent but why try to write compelling stories and dramas with an already defined map when you could throw everything out the window and make your own sandbox, shoehorning it into Ninjago regardless on how ridiculous it looks and feels.

*exhale* alright. I lot to get through here.

there is nothing wrong with not HCing cole gay, especially if you seem him on the aro/ace spectrum. I'm in the exact same boat. And just because there are very prevalent gay interpretations of the text does not mean you have to adopt them, or watch them with that subtext in mind. The true potential episode can obviously really easily be read as a coming out allegory, and a lot of people have latched onto that. And good for them!

But it's just as easily read as a story about defying your parent's expectations for a career path- especially if that's something you can relate to. I think the episode works even better in that respect (cuz that's kinda more directly what it's about, but also) because it adds in this layer of also respecting the place where your parents came from and make their living with. Honestly, I didn't see any gay coding on my first watch through of that one dragons rising episode. I saw Cole's relationship with Geo as much more of a mentor/mentee thing, probably because he's typically taken on a father role. I thought Geo and Sora had more chemistry honestly, with that one scene where their bonding over rejection. That's the beauty of media, multiple interpretations! It sounds like you're letting the fandom color your viewing experience, and that's your problem. The crystalized kai/cole stuff can just as easily be read as brother shenanigans. Don't let fanon make things canon for you if you don't want them to.

I'm on the same page of not shipping the core 4 together. The early seasons were directly focused on their brotherhood in my view, so I get it. But, let's not begrudge people their imaginary LGBTQ rep. As far as I understand lavashipping took off cuz it's the only gay pairing of the main characters who could still potentially be canonically shipped together. Jaya and pixane are pretty set in stone, and lloyd is pretty much off limits. But kailor is very iffy in canon, and cole has never had a love interest. And even if I don't ship it, I can see the value of people having some level of hope that the show might give them some rep. But again, none of this means you have to ship it or feel bad for not shipping it.

Second, you've got some unique opinions on dragons rising. Cool. I don't think you're completely invalid or anything, but I do think some of these opinions might be a little biased?

You're mad it brought back the... finished tv show? The show that finished with crystalized? The worst possible ending of the show? Honestly, it wasn't that much more conclusive than other seasons. Ninjago has always struck me as an evergreen property- a world with endless adventures in it. To begrudge future stories for existing seems a little selfish to me. Ninjago should be a property that new kids can get into for years to come. I've got some problems with what dragons rising has done. I don't think the merge was the best way to go. I hate how needlessly small it makes everything feel. I think sora is a little too chosen-one-y. There are things to criticize here. But it's pulling a lot off. I think it's balanced screen time between old characters and new characters pretty well. It's established a fairly unique identity for itself, which can be a real struggle for sequel content. Again, I think you're coming into it with a distorted fandom lens which is making you hate it more. Not to say that you're wrong, but you're feelings associated with your opinions may be a little exaggerated.

if you have a sin you would like to confess, please direct it to @ninjago-sins