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muddyorbsblr · 4 months

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would've could've should've pt3

See my full list of works here!

Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: Loki makes things right with you and your relationship, and Shuri makes a heartbreaking discovery about your past

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 8.5k [prepare drinks & snacks accordingly]

Warnings (spoilers ahead but y'all need these) : 18+ | heavy themes (dubcon hinted at in log reports; a whole portion detailing human experimentation involving drug-induced mental and emotional subjugation); Loki committing crimes (in the name of his bb); angst; Thor's mega-himbo behavior; language [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship; soft bf Loki hours

"I do not understand why we must be the ones doing such a menial task, Brother," Loki grumbled, walking through the large aisles of the marketplace that Thor all but dragged him to. "We are Asgardian royalty, and we are gods, we should not have to procure our own supplies."

"Stark says it is important that Midgardians perceive us as more than gods and heroes, Brother," the blond explained. "We do have staff in the Compound tasked to perform these duties for us, yes. But every now and again, there is a rotating schedule wherein we perform them. So that we may lessen the perception that we are a sort of enigma to them that only makes our presence felt when there is crisis. They can see us living our respective lives when we are not saving theirs."

While he could see the logic somewhat, he still wished that he would have been assigned to do this with you instead. It had been a few days since you two got back from your mission in California, and since then he outright refused for you to spend a night alone. And all he wanted at this moment was to finish with this drudgery and make his way back to you.

"This may be menial to you, Brother, but let me offer you the same advice that Jane once gave me when I expressed a similar sentiment on my first time," Thor continued on, walking down an aisle filled with those Pop Tarts that he favored munching on and tossing a half dozen boxes into his cart. "Find a semblance of fun in the exercise. Personally, I see this as my opportunity to include more my favorite Midgardian snacks, since staff don't put nearly enough and they expect me to share them. I get some of Jane's favorites as well."

Loki mulled over the seemingly basic advice, grabbing some of your favorite drink and tossing some extra into the cart. "I think I can begin to see the appeal," he conceded, he was still relieved when they finally crossed off all the items and brought the carts to the register, however.

"And another appeal for the unattached…" his brother murmured, not so subtly nudging him in the direction of the cashier. "This is a prime place to meet some stunning Midgardians who are also performing their own duties."

"Well hi there!" the woman greeted him. "I'm Sandy." She started ringing up the items with a peculiar stance that had him quite uncomfortable where he stood, always angling her body to offer him a few of her breasts down the wide neck of her shirt. "Thor's told me all about you."

"Brother…" Loki hissed the word through gritted teeth. "What in Norns' name are you doing?" Was this oaf trying to play matchmaker with him? Fully knowing that he was already happily committed to another? To you?

"Oh come on, Brother. It's clear that your current entanglement with your mortal will go nowhere if she refuses something as basic as laying with you. You've had many lovers back on Asgard, so I am not mistaken in assuming that this is her issue, and not yours."

"And may I say what. A. Shame," the clerk Sandy interjected. "In my opinion anyone that doesn't know and appreciate what they have don't deserve--"

"Hold your tongue," he snapped at her. "It is not your place to impose your opinion on me, you vile woman." She began to cower where she stood, suddenly becoming shifty in her stance. "You know nothing of her and yet you stand here pretending as if you have the higher moral ground. And you." He turned to address Thor now. "You call yourself my brother and yet you attempt to mastermind me away from my beloved and you haven't the slightest clue who you dare to offend--"

"Brother she is not your beloved. This woman isn't even willing to--"

"This woman's name is Y/N Y/L/N. You have regarded her as someone brilliant and fierce and yet you disrespect her so sickeningly." He gave his brother one last sneer before handing over the little plastic card that held Stark's money. "Not another word from you. I wish to be done with this task as soon as possible."

The clerk nodded wordlessly, the faintest hiccup coming out of her as she tried to temper her fear.

"Brother, my deepest apologies I did not know you and Lady Y/N had been--"

"Not a word from you, either," he hissed. "Lest you have forgotten the extent of my rage, Brother, allow me to put it into perspective. I would repeat my actions from over a decade ago in a heartbeat if it meant making her happy. Worse even, if she asked it of me. And of the two of us, she is the one that deserves your apology. She is the one you so flippantly disregarded with your words and your actions."

His oaf of a brother stayed silent the entire way back to the Compound, only uttering a simple sentiment that attempted to convey the remorse that he was trying to process.

"This time I might actually deserve you stabbing me, Brother."

That got him a singular mirthless chuckle. "I will do much worse if I ultimately lose her."

"Morgan, sweetie, be honest with me and your Auntie Nat. You're not doing your homework, are you?"

The little girl looked up at the two of you from her side of the table with wide eyes feigning innocence, looking the spitting image of her father. "I am, Auntie Y/N. Promise…"

"You sure, baby? Because…I know it's been a while since I went to school. You know, in the Bronze Age?" She let out a tiny bubbly giggle at your antic of placing your hand on your back and hunching over, pretending to hold yourself up by an invisible cane. "But baaaaaack in my day, my teachers would've smacked my hands clean off my arms if I was doing my math homework in crayon."

"This isn't my Math homework, silly Auntie Y/N," she giggled again, putting the crayon down and turning the paper around to push it in your and Nat's direction. "It's for Art class. We're supposed to draw our family. Look it." She threw her little body across the table, reaching out with the eraser end of her pencil to start pointing at the parts of her drawing. "There's Mommy and Daddy, and then Auntie Nat and Gruncle Bucky--"

"Wait hold on, Morgan, what did you call Bucky?" the currently platinum blonde assassin asked Morgan, trying so hard to hold back her amused smile. And failing.

"Well, he's an old man but he doesn't look it, so I got confused if I should call him Uncle or Grandpa, so now it's both. Gruncle."

Nat pursed her lips, her body beginning to shake from the laughs begging to escape her."That makes so much sense, sweetheart," she said, holding her hands up as if in surrender. "Keep going, baby Stark, who else you got in there?"

Morgan pointed to the next couple. "Auntie Wanda and Vision, and then Uncle Thor and Auntie Jane, then me…and right next to me." She pointed her pencil at a final couple, the drawing of her holding the woman's hand. "There's Auntie Y/N and Prince Loki."

A lump formed at your throat, combing back through all of your memories in recent months if there was something that the child might have seen that revealed your relationship to her way too perceptive eyes. "Uhh…why'd you pair me up with Mischief, sweetie?"

"Oh…well, because you're alone all the time, and Prince Loki's alone all the time, and if I drew you both alone it'll just look kinda sad so…I drew him next to you."

You had to fight against the urge to sigh in relief. "That makes sense. That's really thoughtful, baby."

The ding of the elevator effectively stopped the conversation, Morgan bringing the piece of paper back to her side of the table so she could finish coloring in everyone's hair. "We've returned!" Thor's voice bellowed as soon as he stepped into the common area.

"Welcome back," you droned, typing a reply to Shuri's message that just came through. My friend, I found something on these reports that I think you should see first. "Wonder what Shuri found…"

Nat leaned over your shoulder to see the message, her brows furrowing together after giving it a few passes. "You want, I could come with you when you go see her in case it's something real bad, Babes." All you did was nod at her, giving her a soft smile before tilting your head to lean against hers.

She had no idea what went down with you when you were in your late teens, in those years roaming the halls of that campus. Nobody except Loki knew, and if you were being completely honest with yourself, part of you regretted being so vulnerable with him because now he treated you like you were so fragile the tiniest little poke could break you apart.

And you'd spent so long doing everything in your power to make yourself stronger, more guarded. So that no one would ever be able to hurt you again.

"Y/N?" You sat up straight at the sound of Loki's voice filling the common area, the three of you at the table looking at each other with questions in your eyes.

"In here, Mischief," you called back, giving both Nat and Morgan a signal to act normal and stop watching like they were sat in front of the TV with a soap opera playing. You tried to finish up your reports from your mission in California when a familiar large hand placed a can of grape soda next to your water bottle. "Oh…Thanks, Loki." You looked up at him, giving the god a tiny smile before going back to your reports.

What he did next had both the assassin and Stark's daughter dropping their whole schtick of 'acting normal', taking your hand in his and gently tugging you to your feet. He didn't seem to care that there were very curious eyes intently watching on, brushing your hair back to tuck it behind your ear.

"What's wrong?" you blurted out, your heart at your throat from his actions. Before you could say anything else, he closed the remaining distance between you, pressing his lips to yours. You melted into his embrace, the gasps and squeals around you blurring into the background.

When he broke the kiss, he pulled you into an embrace, tucking his face into the crook of your neck and taking a deep breath, as if he was grounding himself. "I'm so sorry, darling. I've been a terrible partner to you, treating our relationship as if it were a secret to be hidden away. I never meant to--"

"Hey hey shh it's okay…" You wrapped your arms around his neck, doing your best to not sound like you were on the verge of tears. "It's okay, sweetie, you didn't know. And I didn't tell you, so that's on me, too."

"Absolutely not," he grumbled. "No part of this was your fault." He pulled away to frame your face in his hands, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Nothing that ever happened to you was your fault. I love you, little mortal."

"I love you, too, Mischief--"

"Hold up, you're Reindeer Games' girl?"

You pulled away just enough to look over and address Stark, placing your hands over Loki's. "Yeah, Stark…I'm 'prim and prissy'." His face visibly paled at your confirmation, remorse immediately coloring his features. "You got some more genius barbs to throw at me for not sleeping with my boyfriend?" You gave Nat a signal to cover Morgan's ears, which she quickly followed much to the child's visible pouting dismay. "What've you got this time? Tits sagged up? I'm probably dry like the goddamn Sahara in the nether regions? What if there's actually nothing down there and I'm built like a goddamn Barbie doll?"

"Goddammit, I really put my foot in my mouth this time, huh?"

"More like you decided to put all that yoga to good use, bent over and gave yourself a rimjob and then started running your mouth, but sure, Stark. Let's go with that."

Tony flinched at your words, visibly biting his tongue from what was undoubtedly his instinct to dish out some snark just as good as he just got it. "You know what, I totally deserved that. I'm really sorry, jellybean, I never should have said anything."

"As am I, Lady Y/N," Thor spoke up as he joined the rest of you. "I never should have imposed in on your and Loki's life together. He has told me in numerous ways on our way back that my careless actions have jeopardized his happiness, and for that I beg for your forgiveness."

You and Loki shared a look, both of you arguably right for questioning the sincerity of both apologies. Neither of them had any hesitation subjecting either of you to their opinions when they didn't know that they were throwing verbal darts at your head.

Ultimately you decided not to double down on your own barbs. At least until Thor apologized some more for his mega oaf behavior. "And I sincerely apologize for attempting to introduce another woman to my brother in hopes that he'll be lured away from his current partner, truly I had no idea it was--"

"Hold the fucking phone there, Blondie, you what?!" You could feel your blood rushing to your head, all your irritation toward both imbecilic men bubbling all the way up to the surface after Thor's confession.

"It was moronic and--"

"You're damn straight it was moronic," you seethed, your hand itching to risk potentially permanent injuries just to take a swing at the god that pulled the buffoonery. "I get that you want the best for your brother and all that, trust me I want that, too. But you were all the way out of line for that one."

"Yes, I know," he mumbled, his head turned down in visible shame. "Loki if you wish to stab me for my idiocy you're than welcome to--"

"Fuck that, I'm gonna stab you," you seethed, the god next to you holding you a touch tighter and trying to rub small circles into your skin to calm you down some. "This was none of your business. Even back when you didn't know it was me, you were both out of line for the jabs you took at Loki's private life. And honestly if you're so remorseful about it, you owe Bucky an apology, too. Y'all were dogpiling on his girlfriend way before you started going in on me."

With every word that came out of you, it felt as if there was still something completely blocking you from the truth. A question that went unanswered even by you and the memories you held ever since college. Ever since Simon.

"I don't…I don't know why I'm like this," you said more softly this time, turning to Loki and trying to find the words that could convey at the very least what you showed him a few nights ago. "It's been like this since I was a student in that damn campus. I don't know why but every time I've been in a relationship since then, if things start moving…physically, I--"

"Shh darling…" He pulled you into an embrace again, placing a kiss to the top of your head. "You need not elaborate. You were wronged, none of this was your fault."

"Your god is right, my friend," Shuri spoke up, announcing her presence, a grim look on her face as she held her tablet. "I have combed excessively through the reports for the compounds you found in your college building, and I have…distressing news."

"Yeah…Nat and I were about to come find you, Shuri. What'd you find?"

"This will be…quite an uncomfortable question, Y/N, are you certain you wish to discuss this with all this company?"

"They'll find out anyways. Most of them are nosy like that." You threw a pointed look Stark's and Thor's way, both men immediately looking away in shame. "But I suppose we can spare some innocent souls. Morgan, sweetie, go find your mom, we have to discuss bad guy things now."

The little girl pouted but followed your request, making her way to the elevator to go and find Pepper.

"My friend, what can you tell us about your former relationship with Simon Richardson? Only what you remember and what you are comfortable with sharing. We can start there."

Loki led you to sit on the couch, keeping his arm around your shoulders and rubbing up and down your arms to ground you as you started to recall. "He was…kind and sweet. Until he wasn't. It started with him offering the faculty lounge for me to hang out in during my free periods, then…coffees…lunches. The days when I had a class during first period, he'd be there and we'd grab breakfast together. Then came the first dinner together and he kissed me, told me he was falling in love with me."

"Hold up there, jellybean, this Richardson…he was your professor, right?" You nodded at Stark's question. "Add that comment I made about saying hi to your old professors to my list of things I have to make up for then, I'm so sorry, Y/N."

You just shrugged. "As with most of the things you're gonna have to apologize to me for, Stark…you didn't know." You took a sip of your soda before continuing your story. "The next few months after that were…confusing to me. Every time we had a moment alone he was so sweet and doting, always staying close to me, kissing me, regular degular boyfriend things, you know? And then the second someone else would come in the room he…pulls away. Becomes distant and…almost clinically professional. Drops my hand, immediately puts three feet of distance between us. Tells me it's to protect our relationship. That if people found out, they'd take him away from me and I'd be punished somehow. Told me he was protecting me."

Loki placed a soft kiss to your temple, keeping his forehead pressed to the same area as he spoke. "My love, I'm so sorry. My actions toward you in our time together have brought your memories of your time with him up to the surface."

"You didn't know," you sighed, leaning in to his embrace. "I never told anyone and…nobody ever really bothered to stick around to find out what was actually going on with me the second they realized they weren't gonna 'score'." You took a few deep breaths, finally finding a bizarre sort of relief now that you were talking about the memories that plagued and taunted you for so long.

"And when did you two end things?"

You let out a sound between a scoff and a chortle at Shuri's question. "Generous of you think there was a concrete 'end' to things, sweetie." There was a faint whoosh somewhere to your right, the new silhouettes in your peripheral alerting you to Jane's and Wanda's entrance. "Hey, Babes."

They both offered you some form of greetings before pulling up a seat, the Sokovian speaking up first. "Morgan mentioned something about you looking angry and hurt. Something about Thor doing something idiotic?" She addressed the blond god next. "I mean, a bit on brand for you, but really? Introducing Loki to someone that's going to start bad mouthing his partner? Shouldn't you know your brother well enough by now that that'll get you a stabbing? You know…after a thousand and a half years?"

"Wait hold on, you what?" the scientist spoke up, swatting her boyfriend upside his head. "You know that just got you kicked off the prospects on wedding officiant, right?"

"Well considering my brother is no longer King of Asgard, I surmise that the Valkyrie would be the one that performs that particular duty regardless," Loki shot back before turning back to face you, a soft smile gracing his features. "One day, I mean. When you're ready."

"You sure you want that, Mischief? Considering I might just be a lousy non-existent lay after all this?"

"About that…" Shuri spoke up again, prompting you to continue your story.

"Right, sorry. The ending…I suppose that started when he suggested we'd go away for a weekend. Somewhere farther away from campus where we could actually be a couple outside his apartment. We got a hotel room and…I'm sure you can all fill in those particular blanks." Everyone grimaced at the mere thought, looks of sympathy thrown your way from every direction. Loki pressed another kiss to your temple, his embrace pretty much the only thing holding you together. "We spent a few more nights like that over the next few weeks. Then the academic year ended, a new batch of students came in, and one day I got to campus and…someone new was at his arm. He stopped answering my calls, my texts weren't even left on Read. One day I asked him point blank what happened and all he said was I don't know what you mean, Miss Y/L/N. You're not my student anymore."

"Bastard," Wanda hissed. "He should be locked up. Maybe have Strange throw him in one of those mirror dimensions so all he'll see for the rest of his miserable life is his own ugly lowlife mug."

"And even worse, he's still doing this. We saw him in that reunion. Fucker even had the brass balls to exchange words with me like it was no big thing. He had one of his current students clinging to him like a barnacle. Chances are he's gonna do her what he did to me and that girl from so many years ago. And who knows who else. Anyways ever since then, something always felt kind of…fucked up with me. Every time things got too physical with someone it's like my body recoils. Even when I don't mean to it's like…it closes up shop without consulting my heart. Or my brain."

"I may have an explanation for your body's behavior, my friend." Shuri tapped away at her tablet, projecting the screen's contents into a larger holographic rendering in the center of the room, showing you all a photo of one of the compounds you'd come across in the lab. "This is PM-19, a substance that can mentally and emotionally enslave a subject to the closest source of pheromones and leave them more open to be controlled. Manipulated. When the connection between subject and administrator is severed, the effects…well, the reports all say that the effects are varied."

"Varied on what?" Nat spoke up, moving to sit on the other empty seat next to you and grabbing hold of your free hand.

"Potency of the compound in the subject's system," Loki answered through gritted teeth. "They experimented with dosage, form of administration, wear-off time…"

"O-Okay but what does this have to do with my shitty predatory ex?" you butted in, your voice shaky with the fear that you knew exactly where Shuri was going with this.

She flashed a set of log reports next on the screen. "I isolated the reports that took place while you were in your relationship with Richardson," she explained, waving a hand at the screen. "Going on to the reports that reference all test subjects from this period moving forward. I will let you all read at your own pace."

Nat handed you a large glass of water, telling you to down it before going into the reports. Thankfully you heeded her advice, or else your body might have forgotten how to function reading through the various statements.

April 15, 2013 -- Potential test subjects found. Administrators have been granted permission to pursue and administer PM-19 at their own discretion.

April 20, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-A initiated into PM program. Mode of Administration: aerated by means of cologne. Precautions were taken to ensure that Test Subject 13-31-A and Administrator BG were at a safe distance from bystanders that could have been exposed to aerated PM-19

April 22, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-A exhibited signs of withdrawal from engagement. Subject has been administered aerated PM-19 again. If pattern continues, dosage for aerated PM-19 should be every 24-36 hours to sustain potency in Subject's system.

April 30, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-B initiated into PM program. Mode of Administration: ingestion by means of beverage. Administrator MP notes instant shift in 13-31-B's receptiveness and an increased eagerness to comply with Administrator MP's suggestions regarding trivial lifestyle choices.

May 2, 2013 -- Administrator SR has attempted administering PM-19 to potential Test Subject 13-31-C via aerated form through body spray, but 13-31-C has shown no tangible effects. Will administer stronger dosage via ingestion if effects are still negligible.

May 5, 2013 -- Administrator SR has successfully initiated Test Subject 13-31-C into PM program. Mode of Administration: ingestion through beverage and food. Shift in receptiveness is incremental. Will observe effects through continued dosage.

May 7, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-A actively seeks out Administrator BG and displays an obeisance toward him. She seems to rely on his approval of her decisions. Administrator MP has considerable control over Test Subject 13-31-B's food and clothing choices by means of simple suggestions and the slightest form of positive feedback. Administrator MP to proceed with furthering connection with 13-31-B.

May 9, 2013 -- Administrator SR has been continually administering PM-19 to Test Subject 13-31-C via ingestion. She has begun to gravitate toward him during free periods. Administrator SR to proceed with furthering connection with 13-31-C.

May 13, 2013 -- Administrators BG, MP, and SR have been granted permission to administer more potent dosage by means of injection. Will use the campus' free vaccination as the means of delivery.

May 15, 2013 -- Test Subjects from batch 13-31 have been administered PM-19 directly into bloodstream and collectively show visible ardency toward their respective Administrators.

May 20, 2013 -- Test Subjects 13-31-A and 13-31-B showing more agitation when respective Administrators BG and MP are not by their side. Test Subject 13-31-C appears visibly calmer but shows significant internal disquiet when away from Administrator SR.

May 21, 2013 -- Administrator SR has officially begun to engage romantically with Test Subject 13-31-C to observe if she will exhibit the same signs of agitation that Subjects 13-31-A and 13-31-B possess when away from their respective Administrators.

May 25, 2013 -- Administrator BG has severed the connection with Test Subject 13-31-A after significant increase in agitation after having PM-19 introduced to her bloodstream. 13-31-A created a spectacle in Science Building cafeteria and was escorted by Administrator BG to campus clinic. Subject displayed alarmingly elevated blood pressure and was immediately admitted to nearest hospital to be put under HYDRA monitoring until subject recovers.

May 26, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-A has been terminated after waking in hospital and repeatedly threatening to pursue all avenues of action against Administrator BG and put PM project at risk of being brought to public awareness. Action sanctioned by all active Administrators. Administrator BG now evaluating new potential test subjects.

May 27, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-D initiated into PM program. Mode of Administration: ingestion through food and beverage. Administrator BG has been instructed to keep careful watch of 13-31-D and tasked to increase dosage every 3 days and observe waning time. Administering via injection no longer viable due to window closing to guise under free vaccination.

May 30, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-B shows little regard for caution and attempted flagrant display of affection when crossing paths with Administrator MP whilst surrounded by both colleagues and other students. 13-31-B has been thoroughly admonished for her actions.

June 1, 2013 -- Administrator MP began distancing from Test Subject 13-31-B. Subject is now displaying visible signs of distress and is aggressively seeking him out even outside of campus grounds. Increasing frequency in initiating correspondence. Administrator MP expresses concern that 13-31-B's behavior will require intervention if no improvement shows in next 30 days.

June 1, 2013 -- Administrator SR notes increased obeisance in Test Subject 13-31-C since compound PM-19 was introduced to her bloodstream. Administrator SR has been granted permission to proceed with next stage of relationship: Consummation

June 3, 2013 -- Administrator MP has placed a request for the termination of Test Subject 13--31-B after a spectacle in the campus parking lot where subject was shouting at MP for not answering texts and calls. Administrator MP will remain inactive for batch 13-31 and will resume his duties when evaluating for Test Subjects for batch 13-32.

June 6, 2013 -- Administrator BG notes that Test Subject 13-31-D is more aggressive and attempts to initiate contact with BG. Administrator has placed a request to speed up timeline to romantic engagement to observe if 13-31-D will become more submissive and deferential.

June 7, 2013 -- Administrator SR has begun final stage of PM program for Test Subject 13-31-C. No other task will be assigned to him other than observation of 13-31-C's behavior once connection is fully severed. He will resume his duties along with Administrator MP when evaluating for Test Subjects for Batch 13-32.

June 8, 2013 -- Test Subjects 13-31-B and 13-31-D have been simultaneously terminated after 13-31-D disclosed details of relationship with Administrator BG and both subjects agreed to report this behavior to campus faculty board. Only remaining active Test Subject is 13-31-C.

June 13, 2013 -- Frequency in Test Subject 13-31-C's initiation of correspondence after Administrator SR has begun final stage.

June 15, 2013 -- Administrator SR has fully severed the connection for Test Subject 13-31-C

June 20, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-C has been notably absent in classes. Administrator SR has placed a request to send a HYDRA representative to check on 13-31-C's status.

August 20, 2013 -- Test Subject 13-31-C shows signs of detachment from her peers and current relationship. Potential side effect of PM-19 after severance of connection between subject and administrator seems to be physical recoiling upon implication of intimacy. Subject's body seems to perceive this either as a threat or as a breach of her loyalty to Administrator SR.

April 15, 2014 -- Test Subject 14-34-E initiated into PM program. As mentioned in preliminary notes for batch 14-34, test conditions from Test Subject 13-31-C's case will be replicated in hopes of replicating the only surviving case of batch 13-31.

April 22, 2014 -- Unexpected and unaccounted for circumstance occurred. Test Subject 14-34-E shares a class with Test Subject 13-31-C and has asked questions on how to gain better favor with Administrator SR. It seems that test subjects that were connected to the same Administrator are also drawn towards each other.

April 24, 2014 -- Administrator SR initiated contact with Test Subject 13-31-C to extract information about what she may have told Test Subject 14-34-E. 13-31-C remains adamant that no details of their prior involvement were divulged and answers remained strictly academic. Administrator SR's feedback for her elicited positive reaction. It seems even after prolonged period since severing their connection, submissiveness and deference to Administrator SR remains. Hypothesis: If connection is severed at peak potency of PM-19, Test Subject's actions post-severance are subconsciously geared to seek the approval of their Administrator.

April 25, 2014 -- Administrator SR has been instructed to hasten timetable for Test Subject 14-34-E after subject witnessed SR's interaction with Test Subject 13-31-C and created a spectacle demanding to know what his history with 13-31-C was. Noting that subjects may be prone to increased irrational tendencies and paranoia while connection with Administrator is active.

May 1, 2014 -- Administrator SR has placed a request to terminate Test Subject 14-34-E after threats of her escalating him to the faculty board for their involvement. SR notes that 14-34-E has mentioned the existence of video and audio recordings containing indisputable evidence of their interactions. Directors of PM program have considered close monitoring of Test Subject 13-31-C to determine what differs in her case compared to the rest of the test subjects from Batch 13-31 as well as the replication attempt with 14-34-E.

May 2, 2014 -- Test Subject 14-34-E successfully terminated. Her belongings have been incinerated. All potential evidence of involvement with Administrator SR destroyed. Test Subject 13-31-C once again the only surviving test subject under this specific set of test circumstances. Replication of scenario will not be attempted again until further studies have been conducted on 13-31-C. Actions to be taken to closely monitor and intercept hospital records, therapy session notes and/or recordings, and all other documentation that will provide better understanding of 13-31-C's physiological and mental make up.

March 10, 2016 -- Administrator SR has expressed concerns regarding Test Subject 13-31-C becoming a SHIELD Agent. He has been reassured that there is no cause for concern as long as she stays a low to medium ranking Agent and does not become involved in high level operations.

September 16, 2019 -- Test Subject 13-31-C has been put on High Alert List. Her status as an Avenger warrants the action of capture on sight.

August 10, 2020 -- Multiple mentions of jilted former entanglements of Test Subject 13-31-C have surfaced online, detailing a 'frigidness' that the team is confident in surmising is due to the amount of PM-19 in 13-31-C's system when connection between her and Administrator SR was severed in 2013. It would seem that Test Subject 13-31-C's physiological reactions are tethered to Administrator SR's pheromones and can only successfully sever the connection on her end when the source of the pheromones ceases to exist. Or when she does.

November 16, 2023 -- Administrator SR expresses grave concern given Test Subject 13-31-C's current status of being romantically involved with highly dangerous individual Loki, Asgardian God of Mischief.

Your vision began to blur from the tears flooding your eyes as you read the reports over and over again, your mind stubbornly denying what you were seeing on the screen. Test Subject 13-31-C. You'd seen numerous log reports about her when you first perused the files a few days back but it never occurred to you that you knew her much better than you could have ever expected.

She was the girl in the mirror. The one with the haunted gaze and the smile that struggled to reach her eyes no matter how hard anyone tried.

You'd been so haunted by your worries that history would repeat itself and what Simon did to you, discarding you as soon as someone even incrementally younger came along and not giving you a second thought, would happen again the second you gave yourself fully to Loki. And now it turned out that your refusal to let the dark thoughts that plagued you when Simon left you all those years ago take over your life…turned out you haunted him right back.

"There is one more thing," Shuri spoke up, flashing a message on screen that came from Simon himself. "Our duplication of their machine seems able to receive their correspondences in real time. Simon Richardson has begun to explore requesting for termination of Test Subject 13-31-C. He wishes to see you dead, Y/N."

"Over my putrid rotting corpse," Loki seethed, tightening his hold on you. "He won't be able to touch you, my love. I swear it."

"Could you…" you tried to speak through the sobs you were trying to hold back. "Would you be able to send a message back? Make it seem like it's coming from his bosses?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Child's play, my friend. What do you wish to send?"

"I want you to arrange a meeting." You adjusted your hold on Loki's hand, lacing your fingers through his. "And I want you to come with me."

The god raised your joint hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "Of course, my love. I would have come with you regardless." He pressed his forehead against your temple again. "I'll never leave your side."

"Okay am I in a position to say that seeing Reindeer Games being affectionate is giving me fucking whiplash?"

"No," everyone collectively said in unison.

"Personally I think it's adorable," Jane quipped. "And I know your brother has a real crappy way of showing it, but we really are happy for you."

"'Tis true, I am happy for you and Lady Y/N, Brother--"

"No no, Macho Barbie, you don't get to talk, either," Nat spoke up, throwing a balled up piece of paper at his head. "If Tony deserves the time out on the steps, you deserve the goddamn dunce cap for your antics."

If there was ever a moment that could solidify beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were practically tailor-made by the Norns for Loki, it was this precise moment here. Watching in the shadowy corner of a room as the culmination of your flair for the theatrics almost eerily mirrored his.

You were sat at a desk situated in the middle of a dark seemingly empty warehouse, with only a single hanging lamp serving as a light source. Positioned in a way that your face was still mostly shrouded in the darkness until you wished to make your identity known.

And in your respective positions, you two waited in silence for Simon Richardson to arrive. The unsuspecting pathetic bastard thinking he would be meeting with the higher ups at HYDRA to rectify the situation that he'd been raising with them regarding the safety of their project now that your status on their watchlist has been raised to the highest alert level due to your relationship with the god.

Loki's enhanced hearing allowed for him to hear the shaky breathing and the faltering steps before the wretch pounded his fist at the entrance. "Showtime," you sighed under your breath, taking a moment before calling out in an accent that vaguely resembled the Valkyrie's, "Enter!"

The professor looked around the warehouse, visibly irritated upon seeing that almost the entire place was pitch black, and made his way slowly toward your desk. When he got close enough, another light switched on, illuminating a rather uncomfortable looking stainless steel chair.

"Sit." He did as you told, nervously running his hands up and down his thighs. A quick whiff in the air told the god that the weak mortal was already sweating bullets and barely any words have even been exchanged yet.

Good, he inwardly seethed. You don't deserve to know peace after the lingering damage that you'd dealt to the woman I love.

"Speak," you commanded, the faintest creak of the leather from your hand gripping the armrest being the only indicator that betrayed your facade of "cool and level-headed".

"Have the council agreed to a course of action regarding Agent Y/L/N? You told me before that you allowed for her to continue on with her life due to being the only survivor of batch 13-31. That her situation fascinated you. But now I fear that she is too dangerous to let live given her current romantic associations with the Asgardian that tried to raze New York."

"You never stated on the request your reasoning," you told him through gritted teeth. "How come you are so intent on the expedience of Subject 13-31-C's termination?"

The fidgeting man let out a nervous chuckle. "All due respect, ma'am but are you new? Maybe you didn't hear me? Her boyfriend tried to lay waste on New York! I don't wanna give her the time to open up to him and realize that the reason she can't get with him in the sack is because of PM-19! Who knows what he'll do to me?"

"Well we can start on breaking every joint in your body as an appetizer," you answered back, dropping your accent and leaning forward to let the light illuminate your face. "And from my understanding, the only way to sever the connection from my end is for the source of the pheromones to cease existing. All I have to do is kill you."

Richardson visibly relaxed in his seat, letting out a haughty chuckle as he tsk'd at you. "Silly girl, you didn't actually think it's that simple, did you?" He stood up, making his way to your desk and slamming his hands down on the tabletop, making you flinch at the sound. "Should've known you really were more beauty than brains. Then again it looks like even that is fading away. You really should use some of that Stark budget to take care of those lines on your face because aging does not become you, sweet thing."

"Whatever remnants of PM-19 I have left in my system physically inhibit me from killing you myself, is that it?"

"Maybe there's still some brain left in you after all," he mused in a condescending tone. He grasped the bottom half of your face harshly, your face twisting in horror as you tried to twist his hand off you, finding that you couldn't. "You can't harm me, sweet Y/N, let alone kill me. You literally don't have it in you." Your form began to visibly tremble in his hold, disgust now coloring your expression as he gave you a once over. "It's just you and me here. Maybe we could take a walk down memory lane. For old time's sake."

"Go to hell," you spat at him, jerking your head away from his hand with a sickening crack that Loki took note of to heal once everything was taken care of here. "And I'm not alone, you sick fuck." Richardson turned around, terror finally entering his eyes once he caught sight of the god's silhouette.

"You can't kill me," he tried to threaten. "You kill me and they'll come after you. All of you."

"HYDRA coming after us?" you quipped, giving Loki a tiny nod as he stepped menacingly closer. "Sounds like a regular Tuesday, doesn't it, sweetie?"

"To quote my brother, at least make it a challenge for me." He couldn't help but let his mouth stretch into a wicked grin as he watched the pathetic man start to shake where he stood.

"You kill me and that won't stop the project," he blurted out, most likely in a final desperate attempt at some form of a bargain. Or a threat. "Aren't you hero types all about the greater good and all that shit?"

"Normally we are," Loki answered, a dagger materializing in his hand in a flash of green. He grabbed the back of Richardson's head, poising the blade at his throat. "But I'm not a hero. Not today. Not for you." He pressed the blade harder against his throat, looking to you for his cue to follow through. You gave him all the answer he needed with a little nod of your head, wincing from the minor injury you'd given yourself just moments earlier. "As far as you're concerned, I'm the god you made an enemy of the moment you laid your grimy hands on the woman I love."

He could have made it quick, almost relatively painless, but after the prolonged impact that his vile actions had on you, it would have been a mercy if he were allowed to shuffle off this mortal coil with little suffering. And Simon Richardson was undeserving of mercy. He ensured that he felt every agonizing second that the blade dragged across his neck, and that he stayed lucid until the last possible moment that the light faded from his eyes.

When the late professor's body went limp and fell to the ground, you doubled over in what seemed like shock, bracing yourself by slamming your hands down on the tabletop, your arms shaking with the effort of holding yourself up. The god was by your side in a heartbeat, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you upright.

"What is it, my darling? Are you alright? What are you feeling?"

"I feel--" you tried to say between shallow breaths. "It's like…I just won tug of war."

"Is that…is that good, sweetheart?" He found it rather difficult to tell with the panic setting into him from your shortness of breath. He rubbed circles on your back, trying to guide you to take deeper breaths and standing upright on your own.

"It's like I got all the air knocked out of me from being flung to the ground because the other side finally let go, and I'll probably have a few battle scars, but at the end of it all…Yeah. It's good. So good." You suddenly stood up straight, turning to face him and throwing your arms around his neck. "It feels like I can finally breathe."

You pulled away, pushing back locks of his hair and looking over the blood that spattered across his features. There was such an innocent, almost disoriented look in your eyes. Something that eerily reminded him of how he felt when he was finally free of the mind control the mad titan Thanos had him under. As if he was trying to find his footing again. Learning how to live in his skin and mind without the presence of another lurking in the darkest corners.

Freedom, he realized. You were free.

"Come on," you told him, smiling as you reached for his hand, your whole hand engulfed so easily by just his palm. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"You need not trouble yourself, little mortal. I can simply wave it all away--"

"I want to," you insisted, starting to tug on his hand. He relented rather quickly, a fond smile tugging at the corners of his mouth from your suddenly playful nature. Was this what you were like before you were shackled by that repugnant drug?

And just when he thought he couldn't possibly fall even deeper in love with you.

You led him to the car where Hogan was waiting for you both. Loki gave him a singular nod and he spoke into an earpiece calling for someone to dispose of Richardson's body. When you were both settled in to the back seat, you tore a strip off the shirt you were wearing, dousing it with water to start wiping away at the blood on his face.

"We have rags here for exactly that purpose, Y/L/N," Hogan quipped. "You didn't have to go all book boyfriend."

"Okay first, what have you been reading that you know that reference because I want recs. And second, I have no idea how Tony organizes stock in this car, and I didn't wanna wait. You're more than welcome to put the divider up if it makes you uncomfortable, Happy."

The bodyguard put his hands up, as if conceding in the exchange. "Fair enough, fair enough. I'll send you a list of those books when we get back. Right now I'm just gonna put up the divider, let you two get some rest. I'll let you know when we're at the Compound."

"Thanks, Happy. Maybe send it through FRIDAY. Just to my tablet. Morgan likes playing with my phone and I don't want my goddaughter near those books until well after drinking age."

You'd finished wiping away the blood from Loki's face moments after the divider fully went up, giving the god a playful satisfied little smile before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"There you go, all done." You settled easily into his embrace as he wrapped his arm around you, his hand finding yours and lacing your fingers together. "I know that…now that he's dead, the PM-19 doesn't have a hold on me anymore but…mentally…" Your brows knitted together, your frustration visible as you struggled to find the words.

"It still feels as if there's a lingering presence in your mind," he offered, his heart aching for you when he heard your sniffle as you nodded against his shoulder. "I'm all too familiar with that feeling, my love. I wish I could tell you it goes away completely with time but…I cannot be too sure. Some days will be better than others, as if the presence has been kicked into the farthest darkest corners of your memories but…they remain."

"Right now it feels like it's in a car just behind us so…doesn't feel too far." You tilted your head to look up at him, relief flooding him when he saw in your eyes that you no longer seemed as distant. As if whatever journey you would embark on towards healing the wounds that Richardson left you, you knew and you welcomed the notion of not going through it alone. "I hate to say it, Mischief but…killing him didn't kill the fears he left behind."

You did not need to say more; he could surmise which fear you meant. The one he saw when you allowed him into your memories. The fear of being replaced as soon as you laid with him. The fear of leaving him dissatisfied and forcing his hand to look to another to fulfill what you couldn't.

Perhaps even a fear of being touched altogether.

"I want you to know that I am here for you, little mortal." He pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, and another to your jaw, using his seiðr to heal the slight fracture from your altercation with that wretch of a professor. "Always." Another kiss, featherlight, to your lips. "You need never worry of pressure coming from me, I swear it."

"Maybe a little pressure wouldn't be too bad," you mumbled against his lips, kissing him back a with a touch more passion than he'd ever seen coming from you. "Maybe just…baby steps?" Your next action stole every bit of breath from his lungs, keeping his gaze while you moved his hand, placing it on the bared skin of your stomach. There was only the slightest tremor in your breath as he tentatively caressed your skin, but you no longer flinched away.

"Baby steps," he breathed out, pulling you closer to his side. You nestled your head into the crook of his neck and he felt you steadily succumb to your exhaustion, relaxing against him.

Loki finally allowed himself a moment of rest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before closing his eyes and leaning back against the headrest. It would be a long and arduous journey as you healed from the prolonged damages that your time with Richardson wreaked upon you, but he would be with you throughout every step. Through every nightmare, every frustration, and ultimately every victory.

And then perhaps one day you both would wake and the step to be taken would be toward an altar.

But for now the god was more than content exactly where he was, holding you close with his hand on your skin, following at whichever pace you would be comfortable taking.

A/N: Another request from the pile done! 🎉🎉 Next up is gonna be a fluffy lil thing that I'm gonna turn into an outtake for one of the first stories I wrote, 'a heart like yours' 🥹

But before we get to that, we've got a good bit of RTC and OLTK and 'the final Lady Sharpe' coming…and whatever else my silly lil writer brain decides to start on 😳👀

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @cabingrlandrandomcrap

#loki angst #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #muddyorbs writes #fic requests #500 follower celebration

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thecapricunt1616 · 4 months

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The Bear & His Honey ; Chapter 8 -

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics - (TS) Slut! (1989TV!) ; “You’re not sayin’ you’re in love with me, but you’re going to, half awake taking your chance it’s a big mistake, it might blow up in your pretty face I’m not saying do it anyway, but you’re going to” ♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡ ♡ Summary: Carm + Winnie have an evening in together. They get wine drunk and have slightly spiritual talk over pizza. Winnie talks Carm through a nightmare. Carm gets some much needed rest, Some angsty sex ensues. ♡ W/C: 8,902 ♡ Posted Date: 02/20/24 ♡ A/N: (Kinda TL Don't have to read) Hayy besties!! I’ve been lookin' over the fic & judging what y'all like by the chapter likes- ok smut and Soft Dom Carm!! I’m leaning towards Soft Dom Carmy being the main trope for this fic & based on the likes y’all love it too!! He needs to build into it though for sure, Like- i'm not great at writing things close to canon- but what is canon is a pivotal part of what makes up Carmen - which is being severely emotionally underdeveloped in regards to relationships - also sexually. BUT don’t get me wrong- that man is a DOM he just needs a partner who will find that and pull it out of him. Like- y’all I am ALL for the fully anger management therapy version of Carmy tthat'swritten in to one shots here like I THIRST for it- I just want to try and flesh out the journey in between because I find it interesting. But it WILL happen in this fic- as you can tell this fic is a slow burn, its gonna be long, and I know its gonna end with Carmen being fully sexually comfortable (at least with Winnie) so expect some dirty dirty filth, carm is just growin rn okay!! I also find it fun to write kinda virgin! Carmy- I believe its canon he’s never had a gf- but I believe he’d had to have blown off steam some way in NY and hooking up on tinder since it was that time would be popular. Anyhow, enjoy this chapter! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Minimally edited, talks of spiritualism, vomiting, talks of PTSD/Panic Attacks, Sad!Carm, Fluff, (Kinda asshole) But mostly insecure!Carm, Smut! (Talks of it- oral (m) , kissing, etc just slutty shit)

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

The pizza had gotten there pretty quickly but considering the time of night, that was to be expected. Carmen had been sure to order Pepperoni with extra cheese per my request, and by the time the delivery driver had knocked on the door, we had already finished off my entire bottle of wine and I was in the kitchen opening another. He returns to where we had set up in the living room, putting the steaming pizza box on the coffee table. “No way- you need to finish that story, you can't just answer ‘why do you believe in angels’ with ‘I met a guy when I worked at Dunkin’ Donuts and we had breakfast every day until he died’ and that’s just… the end of the story,” he said and I laughed, coming back with 2 very full glasses of Rose and setting them down.

“That is the whole story, you mean you want the long detailed version?” I set down the 2 paper plates and paper towel roll I was holding under my arm. “Yes.. Please- how was this man an angel?” he snorted, his face flush from the alcohol as I could easily assume mine was. “Okay… his name was Harold, he came in every day, and one day, well” I took a bite of my pizza. “Like I said - my parents, they were never married. My Mom was a twin, but her sister died when they were babies- anyhow” I took another bite, realizing he was listening intently.

“Um.. yeah..” I swallow “So, my dad like- wanted nothing to do with us really, I mean- we met him a few times but… we were just like I dunno, puppies or something? Like, my dad didn’t want us, but my mom was all religious- anyway… wait- what was I saying?” I asked and he started laughing, “Fuckin, Dunkin Donuts man, Harold?” He said and I nodded, catching my breath from laughing at my own drunk rambles. “Yess! Okay, so that's why- we had no money! And with Chris and all his appointments and everything, my mom had even less money, so when I was 14 I got a job to be able to buy stuff, so anyway, I was working a shift.” I took another bite of my pizza before a large sip of my wine.

“And the angel… flew in to buy his coffee?” he teased and I nudged him with my foot. “Shut up! He’s actually the coolest person ever just listen!” I said and he nodded, going in for his second slice of pizza. “I was working a shift, and this man comes in… he looked really sick and he was like ‘ oh can I get something to eat I don’t have any money’ or whatever so I didn’t have any money to spare obviously and so I got my manager thinking this is a huge fuckin’ company - yanno being an idiot teen - and my manager was like ‘oh sorry dude can’t help you’ and so…” I took another sip of my wine before continuing.

“I took my 4.25 that I was gonna use for lunch, I figured whatever, cause this dude needs it- he looked really sick, and that he needed to eat. and I remembered, my mom always said you do things when you can cause when the lord sends his angels to test you they aren't in a suit” I shrug and his eyebrows raised. “You gave him your lunch money?” he said and I shrugged “Mmhmm, anyway- not the point this is the point, Carm, so he leaves, right? Harold comes in, he gets his regular black coffee. Goes and sits down at one of the tables by himself, he drinks it all like he usually does, just watching- waiting almost, and before he goes to leave, he comes up to the counter, and guess what he does?” I asked and he shrugs, waiting for me to continue.

“He hands me, four fucking dollars, and twenty-five cents” I exaggerate each number and his eyes widen, “what the fuck” he muttered. “And I’m like ‘ Harold, why are you given’ me this?’ And he’s like ‘Oh I don’t know honey, I just figured you can use a pick me up today’ “ I took another bite of my pizza and he stopped chewing. “That… is fucking nuts,” he said and chuckled a bit and shook his head.

“And then, every day, we’d sit on my first break and he’d tell me stories about his life, the wars he’d been in, his daughters, his wife before she died, and when he stopped comin’ his daughter came in - she told me that he told her to tell me that he wasn’t doing well and that’s why he hadn’t been by- so I went and visited him in the hospital, got to say goodbye, he was so awesome, and he would do that sort of thing all the time- whenever someone needed something Harold was just… there ya know? It’s like God..or something sent him in at a different time every morning to help someone out even in the smallest ways, He was an angel” I said and Carm nodded, putting his plate down and finishing off his own wine.

“Well, now that you didn’t make it sufferingly short, I see why you think that. I’d probably believe in angels too if somethin’ like that happened” He said and I dusted my hands over my empty plate before setting it down on the table. “So you’ve never had an experience like that?” He shrugged looking up while he thinks before shaking his head.

“Nope. Maybe you’re just magical” he pokes my nose causing me to giggle. “I think you” I poke his nose back “are drunk, and we both need to go to bed. Cmon those blankets I put in the dryer went off a few minutes ago. Let's brush our teeth before they get cold” I got up and grabbed our glasses and he took the trash “At least let me help you a little” he said and I smiled. “Such the gentleman.” I teased and he followed me into the kitchen.

I pointed to show him where the ziplocks were and put the cups in the dishwasher, taking the box to the entryway and leaving it to bring to the recycling in the morning. “Oh uhhh…I sleep…with the um-“ I started “rain sounds?” He chuckled a bit, stretching his back. “Mmhmm…” I nodded. “So uh…is that ok?” I asked and he nods “no problem for me”

I turn around and head in the bathroom turning on the light “I assume you didn’t bring a toothbrush, or are we that close already?” I teased and he snorts. “No…I did not. Got an extra?” He asks and I open my bathroom closet “you’re in luck, Sadie’s soon to be sister in law is a dental hygienist” I pull out 2 from my thick stack Sadie had put on me when she came over since she had so many laying around her house.

“Are you a green or blue boy?” I asked and he pouted playfully “no Spider-Man?” He jokes and I giggle. “Blue it is” I put the green one back and popped open the blue one, handing it to him and turning on the sink, wetting my pink electric toothbrush. I put on my anti-cavity toothpaste and handed it over to him, he did the same putting some on his brush.

“Don’t worry, I’ll time you” I said and he raised his eyebrow “what?” He asked and I turned on my toothbrush, giving him a smug smile before popping the brush in my mouth. Every 30 seconds I mumbled ‘next quadrant!’ With a small smile until the 2 minutes was up, spitting my toothpaste out and brushing my tongue as he did the same before rinsing my mouth and shutting off the water.

By the time we got in bed and shut the light off, Persephone had well found her spot between my legs, purring softly as she groomed herself for the night and I opened my phone, going to tik tok. Carm spoons me from behind, nuzzling his face in my shoulder with his arm wrapped around my waist. “What’re we watchin’ babe?” He mumbled and I smile.

“My nightly dose of giggles” I said and scrolled down my for you page, stopping on a video from ‘Secret Brittany’ and my eyes locking on the screen.

Okay guys, lock in alright? This is the plan - the military planning for the next 2-4 months of my life

Carm lets out a snort in to my neck, his hand traveling up and down my ribs as he watches with me.

I’m not going to move to Ireland- yet. I’m going to purchase bumble premium in Ireland, and I’m going to march with Irish men who want me - caveat, they want me, then, I’m going to move, and live my faerie dream

I giggled, “me” I said quietly to myself and he pinches my waist gently causing me to giggle more “you?! You’re not goin’ anywhere I dunno’ what you’re talkin’ about” he held me tighter, nuzzling his nose deeper in to the crook of my neck. “Is someone whiny and jealous? I’m sure with my red hair and thick hips I’d have guys lining up for me” I teased and laced my fingers with his.

He let out a bratty huff “I know that’s why you aren’t allowed to go” he muttered into my skin, causing me to smirk as I scrolled on to the next nonsense video. I gasped as I realized I had forgotten about getting to the next part of my absurd series about some woman divorcing her lying husband and looked up her account and Carm leans in a little closer.

“Wait…” he muttered softly as I scroll through, trying to find the last video I left on. “Who the fuck did I marry…52 parts Winnie?!” He snorts and I giggle “Carmen- shut up, shhh your brain. Get engrossed.” I said and went all the way back to the first part and I glance down at him.

“You know I’ve watched 23 parts but I’ll rewatch- cause you have to see this, and know-“ I lean in so our foreheads were touching and giggle a bit. “I’m scared” he said playfully causing me to laugh more. “Know Carmen -whatever your middle name is- Berzatto, I will always sniff out a lie- I will do my diligence- hear me?” I huff a laugh and he kisses my lips tenderly.

“I would never dream of lying to you” he said honestly before continuing. “I may not tell you everything at once, but I’ll never misguide you, yeah?” He said softly and gently cups the back of my head with his warm hand. I nodded softly against him. “Yeah…” I whisper and kiss his forehead. “My middle names Anthony” he said with a small smile. “Mines - basic. Ok, Now listen to this bullshit” I giggle a bit and turn back around, hitting play.

It was about 3 parts (30 minutes) of Carmen softly gasping, playing with the hem of my shirt in anticipation, and humming in confusion before I heard the first snore come from his lips. I hit pause on the video, putting on my rain asmr sounds on Spotify and gently plugged my phone in, setting my alarms before drifting off into a peaceful, relaxed sleep.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..

I woke up to the sounds of violent retching in my bathroom, I rubbed my eyes, confused for a moment before remembering that Carmen had slept over. I padded out to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing my brita jug, before opening my cabinet and grabbing one of the many different glasses that fit a bamboo lid and glass straw, this certain one adorned with cherries. I gently pushed the cup under the ice dispenser, letting a few cubes drop in before filling the cup with chilled water.

I pushed the lid and straw on, popping the Brita back in the fridge before padding back to the bathroom, where I heard dry heaving from outside the slightly cracked door. “Carmy?” I mutter softly, pushing the door further open to see him crouched over the toilet, elbows supporting him as he gagged over the bowl.

“S-sorry.” He muttered, coughing a bit before sitting up and trying to catch his breath. “No- no. Carmen, don’t apologize” I knelt down next to him, gently rubbing his back. “I’m not feeling sick.. so was it a nightmare?” I asked softly, extending the water to him. He sat back on the floor, extending his legs in front of him and sighing deeply.

“I really didn’t mean t’wake you, Winnie. It’s fine…really they happen like every night” he mumbled, taking the glass from my hands. “I have them too! It’s ok, it's ok. S’just a bad dream” I said softly and gently brushed his curls off his forehead that were damp with sweat. He takes a big few gulps of water from the straw, sighing relieved before leaning back and resting on the cold tub.

“Did you…did you wanna talk about it?” I sat next to him, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my cheek on my knee, glancing at him through the moonlight coming through the window. It was hard to see him without my glasses or contacts, but his striking blue eyes were still impossible to miss. “It’s…” he looked at his hands, holding the glass. “Stupid” he said finally. “So..so stupid. I used to..” he sighs, his head dropping back and eyes squeezing back in thought.

“Throw up?” He said like a question, shaking his head quickly. “Like” he looked at me “before I’d…see my boss” in the dim light I could still see his cheeks reddening. I bit my lip gently, leaning over and hugging him silently, my head resting on his chest. “I’m sorry” I said softly and he sighed, setting his water glass down and curling his arm around my frame, rubbing gently. “No.. no that’s not- don’t feel bad” he said softly, his thumb rubbing soothing strokes in to the middle of my back.

I gently shook my head against his chest. “Carmen…” I said softly. “This… this monster…” I said softly and looked up at him, cupping his cheek honestly. “He makes you sick Carmen…what…what he did to you- whatever he did…he creates a panic response in you, baby.” I rub my thumb along the stubble of his jaw that was already peaking out before first light.

He swallows thickly, drinking in every word I was saying. “He…he…” I look at the floor, trying to find my words. “He instilled that voice in you” I said, my lip quivering slightly and he put his thumb to my lips gently to stop the motion. “What? What voice, honey?” He asked softly.

I giggled into his finger, still slightly wine-drunk. “Your inner-saboteur. Just like Ru-Paul says” I gently nibble his finger, causing him to really laugh. “My inner-saboteur” he repeated with a smile. “Yes” I said gently and kissed his forehead. “Let him go, Carm, fuck that guy! Fuck your inner-saboteur. I’m still a tad bit drunk, but c’mon- brush your nasty throw-up teeth” I said teasingly and giggle, resting my forehead on his and gazing into his icy blue eyes.

“And come back to bed, I’ll introduce you to Drag Race tomorrow” I said softly, pecking his lips tenderly. “Okay?” I gaze into his eyes, looking for agreement. “Okay…” he said softly, a smirk adorning his lips.

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I wake up to the feeling of Persephone jetting off my right thigh like an Olympic-launching pad at the sound of my alarm going off, soothing chirping birds filling the bedroom from my hatch alarm clock Sadie’s Parents had gotten me as a housewarming gift. I groan softly at the reverberating pain in my thigh muscle from her sudden attack, reaching down and soothing the ache with a slow rub from my hand.

Carmen was draped around me, his arm tucked protectively around my waist and his prominent nose nuzzled in my neck, the feeling of short, hot breaths hitting my shoulder at an even pace. I gently leaned over, tapping the top of the clock that was slowly getting brighter, so it stopped its cry of awakening,

I rubbed my face tiredly before I gently pried Carmys sleeping fingers off of my waist, slowly getting up off of the mattress, so as to not wake him. My t-shirt brushed just below my lower cheeks, goosebumps crawling up my legs from the chilly apartment air. I nuzzled my feet into my pink bear-claw slippers, and quietly shuffled out to the kitchen, silently pulling the bedroom door shut behind me.

I sighed tiredly, stretching my back and arms just at the end of the hall, moaning softly at the blood rushing to my muscles at the action. “Mmhmm” I mumbled at Sephy hungry cries, scratching my scalp in a sleepy haze.

“Comin’ babygirl” I muttered softly, shuffling out to the kitchen and opening the cabinet, I pulled out a tin full of wet food and cracked it open with my forefinger, taking out a spoon from the drawer. She meowed impatiently, causing my tired eyes to roll up involuntarily.

“Persephone” I muttered, tired but stern. “Jesus Christ should I call ASPCA?” I joked, taking a spoon out of the draw and nudging it closed with my hip quickly before spooning half the can in the bowl and chopping it up half-hazardly, before setting it on the floor with a clink. She dove in, eating like she’d been starved.

I put a pod in my Nespresso machine, and rested my chin in my hand as my latte brewed, scrolling through my ‘For You’ page, sending a few videos to Sadie that made me stifle a laugh so as to not wake Carm. I opened my fridge, pouring some half and half in to my cup that I’d already filled with ice before pouring my espresso over the top and mixing it up before sealing the lid.

I shuffled over to the couch, sitting down and continuing to scroll through videos as I sipped my latte. By the time I’d finished it, Persephone was sitting on the cat tree grooming herself in the morning light and the clock read 8:32. I got up, going over to my record player and shuffled through my selection of records, settling on Ctrl by SZA that Syd had gotten me. I bit my lip gently, thinking of her.

I really hope she wasn’t mad at me…for too long. Thinking back on the conversations she had with us about her ‘boss’ who I now knew was Carm, he could be a serious asshole and he…emotionally led her on in a way? And they never explicitly mentioned their feelings but it sounds like there definitely was feelings..My thoughts are broken by the static of the record as it switches to the next song and Love Galore starts playing.

I did my usual routine of walking around, pulling open my blinds to let the light in before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. I washed Sephys bowl and set it on the small drying rack before setting a pan on the stove to heat. I opened the fridge, resting my hands on my hips, and realizing I have no idea what Carmen eats- if he eats breakfast. It’s a Saturday though…I settle on the safe options of eggs and toast.

I popped 4 pieces of bread into the toaster, humming along to Doves in The Wind while I cracked 4 eggs into a glass measuring cup and whisking them with a fork. I added a little bit of garlic salt and pepper, mixing it again before dropping some butter in the pan and letting it melt. I got out 2 of my pink heart shaped plates and set them down in preparation, before pouring the eggs in the pan. It was quick to scramble so I put the toaster down, and I was shuffling over to the table just as the bedroom door opened.

Carm genuinely looked refreshed. The bags under his eyes were mostly gone, and his eyes didn’t look red and exhausted. I look over at the clock, 9:22. “Good Morning, Chef. I hope scrambled eggs and butter toast is acceptable? With jelly of course” I went over, clicking off my record player that had stopped spinning a few minutes prior. “You made breakfast?” He asked, looking over to the table.

It took all of my strength to keep a casual face at his deep, husky morning voice. “Mmhmm!” I hum and come back to the table and he followed. “Coffee?” I ask and he nods “thank you- wow. I can’t remember the last time I.. actually ate in the morning. What time?-“ he looks over to the stove and his eyebrows raise. “Shit.” He snorts. “I guess your bed was comfortable” he sits.

I smirk proudly “well I’m glad you’ve enjoyed your stay so far at Winnie’s bed and breakfast” I said and went to the kitchen, opening my cabinet and smiling wide at the perfect mug for him to use. I set it down on the counter, “cream?” I asked opening the fridge. “Yes, What are you cheesin’ about?” He teased and I giggle “somethin’ - just wait” I took out the cream and set it on the counter and popped in an americano pod.

“Oh! Forks! Sorry. Forgot my meds this morning. Let me go do that” he chuckles as I quickly shuffled off. I go in to the bathroom and took my medications with a handful of sink water before coming back and seeing his coffee was done. “Perfect!” I took it out, putting cream in. “Sugar?” I asked and he shook his head “no” he said and I stirred the coffee, putting the spoon in the sink.

I carefully come over, covering the art on the mug until I set it down in front of him with a giggle. “A Bear mug for Bear and it has a cute, true saying, ‘A hug a day keeps the lonelies away’ “ I giggled. “See that one’s me,” I point to the smaller one, “and that’s you,” I pointed to the bigger one “cause’ you give teddy-bear hugs” I smiled. He looks up at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the morning light, an adorable smirk on his face.

“You…” he starts and shakes his head, pulling me into his lap and I giggle, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely to steady myself. He kisses all over my face, causing giggles to involuntarily fall from my lips and my eyes to squeeze shut at the quick short pecks that tickled like butterflies, my heart fluttering the same way in my chest. “Are so fucking cute” he hugs me close and I giggled, wrapping my arms around him.

“Thank you” he kissed my neck sweetly before releasing me and I got up. “Wow, an ambush, I do take payment in kisses but warn me so I can count!” I joked, sitting down in my seat and he rolled his eyes playfully, a pink blush adorning his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. “Forks!” I said and he laughed, shaking his head again.

“Does that happen all the time?” He asked and I nod, heading over to the drawer and grabbing 2 forks. “Yup. It’s worse if I don’t have my meds” I put his fork in front of him. “Hope it’s ok” I said and sit down “no- this is…this is great Winnie, thank you really” he said taking a bite and nodding. “5 stars Chef” he said and I laughed before taking a bite of mine.

“Mmhmm totally I’m coming for your spot! Better get worried these eggs’ll put you out of business” I joked and he snorted, taking a sip of his coffee. “Mm- I think Starbucks should be a little scared” he teased and I giggle a bit, nibbling on my toast. “That’s all Nespresso that thing is amazing”

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When we finished breakfast, Carm takes our plates and his mug over to the sink and starts washing them, along with the pan I’d used. “Wow…he cooks and cleans? You sure you aren’t taken already?” I joked, wiping down the table with a Lysol wipe. He chuckled “nope, haven’t gotten any serious offers” he joked back with a smile.

“Did you wanna see my little library craft room thing?” I asked, throwing the wipe away in the garbage. He puts the now clean dishes on the drying rack. “Course, what do you…craft?” He asked, following me to the second bedroom and I opened the door. “Oh..lots of things. I sew,crochet,read, make jewelry, I paint sometimes” I shrugged and he looked around at all the half finished projects.

“This is cute” he hummed, picking up a half finished star and moon granny square blanket off the back of my pink desk chair. “Oh! That’s for Syd’s birthday!! She’s such an astrology girl, it's one of those things we can talk about forever.” I smiled and he nods a bit. “Why haven’t you ever come around more? The uh- the restaurant” He asked as he looked over the intricate stitches and I shrugged, picking up stray crochet needles scattered on my desk and putting them in the little drawer where they belonged.

“Oh.. well Sadie and I - it’s kinda fancy for one thing, and umm..we don’t like people and it’s been busy for months “ I laugh a bit “fancy huh?” He teased, setting the blanket back down and walking over to the wall of pictures I had next to my overflowing bookshelf. “It has been pretty busy” he said as he gazed over the different memories of girls trips Sadie and I had taken as well as pictures of nights out with Syd.

“Also as you can probably tell- Sadie and I do not belong in a cool fancy place like that” I giggled and he shook his head rolling his eyes playfully with a smile. “I don’t either but it’s what brings the business right?” He looked over the books. “Damn, you read a lot” he said and I giggled. “Mmhmm! Work at a bookstore” I said and he pulled one of my most well loved books out, “this one of your slutty books?” He teased and I roll my eyes.

“Ha.ha. No- this is an amazing book, you’re saying you’ve never read this book?” I took it from his hands. “My brother gave it to me” I said and flipped to the second blank page where ‘From Chris To Twinnie’ was scribbled in his chicken scratch handwriting. His eyebrows raised. “Oh…no- no. Never heard of it.” He said and my jaw dropped. “Never heard of The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane” I scoff a big smile coming to my face.

“Okay, so, now I see” I nod, holding the book to my chest with a teasing smirk on my face. “See what?” He asked “I see why you…I dunno” I shrug. “Don’t like to have fun “ I poke his chest and he scoffs. “I have fun I am totally fun!! Are you saying I’m boring?” He asks, slightly offended and I laugh. “No! I’m saying that… the whole point of this book is that life, our journey to self discovery is useless if you have no intention of loving or being loved.” He raised his eyebrows before starting to laugh.

“A rabbit said that?” He questioned and I shook my head “no he learned it. C’mon let me do skincare on you and read it you’ll love it” I said and he blushed a bit. “Why do I have bad skin?” He joked with a teasing smile. “No you have nice skin but let me take care of it” I said and led him to the bathroom by his hand, getting out my face wash “wash your face with this” I said and turned the water on warm, and grabbed a clean face towel from the cabinet with embroidered strawberries on the hem. “dry your face with this” I instructed.

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I gently put on the sparkly under eye patches under Carm’s eyes and he scrunched his nose adorably. “The fuckin’ hell why do you do this” he muttered “feels like a slug” he said causing me to giggle “oh my god such a boy. This will make your pretty blue eyes much more noticeable without all the darkness from never sleeping” I gently smoothed them out, booping his nose with the tip of my finger when I was done.

“Mm whatever you say this is Winnie’s Salon after all” he says and I tut “no! This is Winnie’s beauty parlor. I'm not cutting your hair today” I said and his eyes fluttered open, looking up at me with a small smile. “They look pretty on you” he said, causing me to blush. “You’re a big flirt” I gently played with his hair and his eyes fluttered back shut, humming softly in satisfaction. “Did you want me to read to you?” I asked and his smile grew.

“Please. It’s been a long time actually, I’m excited to hear about this rabbit” he said and I grab the book from next to us, opening to the first page and starting.

“Chapter One”

By the end of the first page, he was glancing up at me, watching me speak each word and smiling slightly when I did slightly different voices for each character. At the end of the first chapter, I close the book and he pouts a bit. “What? No keep going, that was getting cute…she loves that bunny” he said and I giggle. “Yes she does, if you want to hear the next chapter you have to come see me again. Plus, I’m getting hungry”

I peeled his eye patches off, gently rubbing in the remnants with my ring fingers and he smiled softly. “Mm…you cook breakfast, pamper me, and read to me? I think this is my new hang-out spot for Saturdays” he jokes and I giggle a bit. “Good, so next Saturday you’ll get to see what happens in the next chapter.” I said and he sat up, sitting against the headboard next to me.

“Sounds like a steal for me” he smiled adorably, his skin still glowing from the serum I’d applied. I looked at his lips, then back at his eyes before straddling his hips and kissing him deeply. He hesitantly moves his hands to my hips and rubs with his thumbs gently. I kiss down his jaw over his stubble to his neck, nipping gently and he groans softly “Winnie” he said, gripping my hip a bit tighter. I gently tug on his ear with my teeth. “I think it’s hot you’re such a talented chef and like when I cook for you” I said softly in his ear, gently tangling his curls in my fingers as I continue to kiss and nip his neck.

I grind my hips on his and he moaned softly “Winnie.” He said softly, moving his hand to my back “I-i…” he swallowed thickly and I stopped, sitting up and looking at him. “What? Did I..did I do something wrong?” I asked. He shook his head, refusing to meet my eyes. “I-I don’t…we shouldn’t” he rubs over his chin, thinking.

“Do you…regret last night?” I asked, getting off his lap and sitting crisscross beside him on the bed. He shook his head again “no- god no that was fuckin’ amazing Winnie I-“ he blushed, looking down at his lap. “I’ve uh never…” he cleared his throat, his eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. “I- I’m surprised I lasted that long with you- a-and…I’ve never done that before..what we did in the shower and I’m still- I’m thinkin’ about it” he swallowed thickly, finally looking at me and I nodded slowly.

“Okay…I think we should talk more about our sexual experiences” I said and bit my lip. His face goes pale, his mouth opening and closing a few times like he was trying to find the words. “Uh- I” he stuttered. “I’ll go first…what uh- what do you wanna know?” I asked casually and play with the hem of my shirt. “Uh- well..that’s- I don’t… I don’t know a lot” he said quietly, clearly embarrassed by the way his eyes darted away from mine again.

“Okay so…how about this then. I’ve slept with 24 people, including you. But most of the bulk of those were back home, I’ve slept with you and one other person since I’ve been here, how many have you been with?” I asked and his eyes widen. “Twenty four?” He repeats, his mouth dropping slightly. I scoff “what so guys can sleep with 100 women by the time their 24 but I can’t sleep with 2 people a year over the course of nearly 10 years?!” I asked my tone laced with annoyance.

He shook his head quickly “no-n-no Winnie no…I’ve….ive slept with less then 8 people…I’ve had sex like…maybe…” he took a deep breath, looking away and swallowing thickly “I don’t- I don’t like this game anymore or- or questions. Or whatever” he said his cheeks going red. I bite back a laugh at the irony of him being so insecure by holding my tongue between my teeth and I gently touch his bicep. “Look at me” I said softly and he shook his head inching away from my touch a bit.

“Carmen. When I said no one has made me cum like that- I mean it. I was fully seeing stars bro I was shaking Carm.” I laughed and he looked over, eyebrows raising. “You really meant that?” He asked and I roll my eyes playfully. “I wasn’t even gonna fuck you a second ago I was gonna suck your dick because I’m sore. Literally yes you’re amazing Carmen you’re so fucking hot.” I said and he bit his lip, looking at his lap.

“But I can’t…like- when…when we were in the shower” he muttered “that was-“ he swallowed thickly “I’ve never…I’ve never had sex in the shower before and-“ he sighs deeply. “I don’t want to get attached.” He looks at me finally, and I was silent for a moment, my brain filing through all the possible things he could mean. I settled on the safest response that would have the least possible chance of rejection. “Like- you don’t want tooo…” I questioned and he raised his eyebrows waiting for me to continue.

“To get attatched to fucking me on your days off?” I question and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Winnie” he muttered, slightly annoyed. “That’s not what I mean Y’know that” he said and I bit my lip. “Tell me what you mean then, Carmen” I said and he looked up at me. He stared at me for what felt like forever, studying me, my features, I tried my best to decipher what was going on behind his eyes but only a week of knowing each other I was rolling blanks.

“I don’t want to get attached to this. Winnie, to you. I don’t want to do this, we can’t do this.” He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest and the small change in body language felt like an ocean of distance was suddenly created between us emotionally. My mouth suddenly felt dry, and my throat was growing an enormous lump. “Why” I finally choke out and he looks back at me. “Because I told you, Winnie, I’m not boyfriend material. What this” he motions between the 2 of us “Is, can’t keep going like this. Fuckin’ cuddling and shit..”

I felt like I wanted to burst out into tears, not more than 20 minutes ago he was dreamily looking up at me while I read to him and now he was telling me that he won’t allow himself to be around me, and relax. “Oh” I scoff, my eyes narrowing and crossing my arms over my own chest.

“You are such a little baby,” I said and his eyebrows furrow, “what?” He asked. “A little fucking. Baby.” I repeat myself and he blinks a few times, “What the fuck do you mean?” He asked and I got up. “You are an angry baby, because you realize that I have more experience in the bedroom!” I laugh dryly. “Carmen. You knew what you were getting yourself into. You want this. Look at me, and tell me the last fucking time you relaxed on your day off? Hm?” I raise my eyebrows, shrugging and waiting for an answer.

“You don’t fucking know me, Winnie” he scoffs. “I don’t- I don’t give a fuck that you have more experience than I do. Clearly, it wasn’t with anyone good! Per your fuckin statement 5 minutes ago.” I shook my head. “You’re right! You’re right Carmen. I was begging for your cock- and you wanna know something? You loved it. You were pussy drunk, Carmen, you- you are just so fucking obsessed with depriving yourself of joy, of pleasure that instead of allowing yourself to fuck me you’d rather be in your apartment all alone and cum in your hand? Fine. Have fun” I shrugged, motioning to the bedroom door.

He sat there, jaw dropped. “You-“ he closed his eyes in shock, shaking his head as he digested what I just said to him. “You are so-“ he sighed, looking at me and his eyes flicker to my chest. I smirk, “fuck. Im gonna fucking hate myself this week. C’mere” he said and I knelt on the bed, straddling him once more and kissing him deeply. I pushed him back on the bed roughly. “Tell me you don’t want me” I said and peel off my shirt, exposing my breasts and already peaked nipples shining with their little black studs, already hardened due the adrenaline coursing through me.

“Fuck off Winnie you know I fucking want you” he grabs my breast, playing with my nipple gently and I bit my lip. “I haven’t even showed you half of what I can do- and you’re gonna throw the towel so soon?” I rest my palms on his shoulders for leverage as I ground into his hips, the friction causing his eyes to flutter shut and his head to fall back onto the pillow in a low whimper.

“N-no- no you’re right. You’re right Winnie fuck” he moaned, gently tugging at my jewelry causing me to gasp in pleasure. I kiss him hard, circling my hips into his at a torturously slow pace causing him to whimper and groan into my mouth which made a small smile come to my lips. I pulled away slightly, our lips barely an inch away.

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” My eyes flutter to his, my hips completely still. His breath quivers “yes” he said barely above a whisper. “Tell me, say it, Carmy. What do you want?” I ask and kiss his neck tenderly. “I-I want you t-to” he swallows thickly when I nip at the tender spot below his ear. “I want you to suck my cock” he said, eyes fluttering shut and cheeks going red. I smirk, happy with the admission, but still unsatisfied with the way he was denying himself.

“Okay baby, since you asked so nice, like such a good boy” I said, his lip tugging between his teeth and

I kissed down his chest, his abs tightening when I made my way over them, my tongue dragging slowly down the divot in the middle. He watches me with hooded eyes, hands gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles were turning white, his chest raising up and down deeply at a quick rate as he watches me worship him.

I straddle his calves, gently rubbing his fully hardened length through his sweatpants and he whines softly “please-please Winnie” he breathed impatiently. I smirked, my hands rubbing long teasing strokes up and down his thighs. “Do you really want me to suck your cock, Carmen?” I asked and he swallows thickly. “Winnie” he wined, looking away and his cheeks heating.

I stopped touching him and my hands raised to my breasts, gently palming and squeezing them before playing with my hard nipples and my head dropping back as I moaned. “You don’t want me, baby?” I asked and his hand traveled to his pants and I stopped him, grabbing his wrist. “Do you want me Carmen?” I asked, taking his hand and putting his forefinger and ring finger in my mouth, my tongue swirling around them and hollowing my cheeks at the base of his hand.

He bit his lip harshly as I did so. “So so fucking bad.” He said softly, I pulled off his fingers with a ‘pop’ and tugged him out of his boxers, leaning down and spitting the puddle of saliva I had collected in my mouth while sucking on his fingers and pump his length with the wetness, twisting and getting it all wet. “Holy fucking shit” he mumbled, a moan falling from his lips and his head falling back momentarily but he was quick to put his eyes back on me.

“Does that feel good baby?” I ask sweetly, my thumb brushing over his tip. He nods “shit- yes s-so good baby” his abs clenched in pleasure as I slowly dragged my thumb over his slit teasingly. “Mmm the noises you make are so sexy baby I love it” my other hand dances around his stomach, my nails brushing the toned skin causing him to shiver slightly.

“Oh you adorable thing” I said and leaned down, kissing his tip gently and his head drops back, a breathy moan falling from his lips, his knee jerking slightly under me. I stuck out my tongue, slowly licking his tip from the back of my throat all the way to the tip of my tongue, flicking it teasingly causing him to whimper beautifully. “You have such a nice cock baby” I praised, pumping him slowly, twisting my hand how I knew he liked based on the way his stomach would tense when I did it repeatedly.

I look up at him, his cheeks, bright red, curls stuck to his forehead in sweat, “do you like it when I tug harder” I did so and he whines “or softer?” I went back to my original firmness and he breathed out, I could tell no one had really ever given him this kind of attention during a blow job before- so I was relishing in the fact that no matter if he did claim to hate himself this week, every time he came after a long day it would be at the thought of me. So I’m pulling out every stop, every theatric - I’m going to make this magical.

I was already fucking him dumb and I had barely used my mouth yet. We had a lot of work to do, to mold him into the kind of partner I knew he yearned to be. And whether we continued to pretend to be ‘friends with benefits’ while he learned, or he decided he wanted more- I didn’t care. Because I knew this man wanted to dominate, and I was dedicated to getting it out of him.

When I got no verbal response my hand stopped moving and I gently tap the head of his cock against my tongue getting his attention. “Words.” I said softly, smiling sweetly as I waited for a response. “Hard. H-hard. Please.” He said and I continued as he requested and he grunts “fuck yes…mmm twist baby like-“ he moans louder when I oblige. “Yes. Yes.” he breathed and I smirked, moving my hand faster.

“Good boy, I love it when you tell me what feels good” I said and my hand that was on his stomach travels to his v-line, my forefinger soothingly stroking as I took his tip in my mouth, he lets out the hottest noise between a moan and a cry that I’d heard a man make, before I heard the sounds of the fabric beginning to give beneath his death grip. I pulled my lips off and stopped my hand from jacking him off, taking my hand off his stomach and pulling my hair out of the bun it was in.

His eyes shot open as soon as I stopped, a small gasp tumbling from his lips as my tight curly bangs fell over my forehead, when they were blown out they were the 80s look I loved to achieve with my hair- but my bangs were extra curly naturally since they weren’t weighed down like the rest of my hair and I’d gotten it wet last night. I pushed it off my shoulders, taking his hand and putting it on my head. “Go as hard as you want. I’ll squeeze you twice if it’s too much.” I said and started again before he could reply.

He whined hotly as I took him down inch by inch until he was lightly hitting the back of my throat, he was mostly just stroking the back of my head but when he felt me swallow around his tip it was like something in him flicked on. He grips the back of my hair “f-fuck- god do that again- fuck do it again Winnie” he said, pushing my head down gently. I closed my eyes, saying a silent and quick prayer to every god ever that I’d fully digested my breakfast, and that my gag reflex had gotten much better since trying to train it with my toothbrush before bed the past few years.

I took a deep breath, before fully relaxing my throat and pushing his tip past my tastebuds and I gently stroke his thighs, more to soothe myself that I could do it, before pushing deeper. He cries out, moaning what sounded more like a pleasured growl, his fingers tugging my hair lightly. I knew I had to stop pushing before I either hurt myself or actually gag and embarrass myself. I swallowed around him slowly, my throat fluttering around him for a few moments.

I feel his muscles all tense beneath me, his abs tightened, stomach clenched, fingers digging into my scalp, eyes screwed shut, veins protruding in his neck. He would be cumming in the next few seconds so - I stopped. I pull off, sitting up, a string of saliva pulling from his cock to my lips as I did so. My lips swollen, jaw sore, chin and neck slick with saliva. I smirked as he gasps, his orgasm flowing away like dandelion seeds in the breeze and he looked at me, his pupils blown with lust.

“W-why. Why did you stop?” He asked, he almost sounded angry. I shrug, “do you deserve to cum, Carm? You you deserve to feel good?” My fingers dance around his stomach and v line causing goosebumps to appear on his skin and his cock twitches, aching to be touched. “Please Winnie, fucking- let me finish” he grumbled, looking at the ceiling.

“Let you” I scoff. “Do you even think you deserve that. Carmen? Hm? Put enough hours in this week? Plan enough new catering orders?” I taunt, goading him into showing me any thread of dominance in him I could tug on. He looks at me, his eyes darkening “suck my fucking cock. Winnie.” he ordered and I smirk. “Ooo, making demands now, I only serve those who deserve it” I drag my forefinger from his balls to his tip, smiling at the reaction of his stomach clenching and cock jumping in a twitch.

“I deserve it” he grumbled, not meeting my eyes. “Hm?” I hum, ghosting my hand around his cock but not gripping it. “I said I fucking deserve it” he looks into my eyes as he said it. I lean down taking him back in my mouth and he sighs in relief, I pump the bottom half of his length as I take him back into my throat. It was barely 2 minutes of him spilling profanity, muttering my name, whines and moans, and only swallowing around him 2 times before I felt him fully tense up again, and an enormous load shot down the back of my throat, so much that I had to swallow 2 times after pulling off of him to get it all down.

“Holy shit” I laugh taking a deep breath and he was laid there, trying to catch his breath “sorry” he said between breaths, eyes blissfully shut and cheeks flushed as well as his chest from his release. “No its…it’s fine just. Holy shit. You just dumped a generation down my throat” I joked and he laughs lightly.

I quickly fix his boxers and laid next to him after pulling my shirt back on. “How the fuck did you do that?” He asked and I shrug a bit, pushing my hair behind my shoulders. “Dunno. Just tried it. Glad you like it though. How’d it feel?” I asked and he blushed, averting my gaze shyly. “Uh…” he furrows his eyebrows thinking. “Kinda like…your pussy but … like way tighter, and harder if that makes sense.” He looked back at me and I giggle.

“Hm…ok. It was kinda cool, also really hot, also pretty freaky- when I went to wipe my chin, my hand touched my throat and I felt your dick like…” I giggle, covering my mouth at his shocked expression. “Holy fuck that’s hot” he said and I nod. “Felt weird. I’ll have you feel it next time” I said and yawned a bit, sitting up.

“I’m gonna brush my teeth then you wanna nap?” I asked and he nodded “I’m not sure why- we’ve done basically nothing but I’m exhausted.” He said and rubs his face. I shrugged, “just your body catching up while it can on rest. I’ll be back.” I said and padded off to the bathroom.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

#carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fluff #the bear fic #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto x oc #carmen berzatto x oc

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spacelazarwolf · 10 months

Text

tldr scroll down to see my new plants.

this is a departure from my usual posts, it's a bit more like hybrid blog/diary entry, idk, but here u go.

for those of y'all who don't know, one of my hobbies is plants. i like to collect them propagate them, trade them, etc. and my favorite type of plant is aroids, particularly philodendrons. it was a very difficult hobby to maintain after the plant boom during lockdown caused plant prices to skyrocket, so for the past year or two i haven't relaly been buying that many new plants, and when i have it's just been from garden centers or local nurseries.

yesterday, however, i went to an aroid show where there was a vendor from south america who had brought a bunch of specimens people could purchase. they're a family owned business that focuses on protection and preservation of biodiversity and native plant species, and all their plants are ethically sourced, usually grown in their own greenhouses from propagations instead of taking them from their natural habitat and selling them. so obviously i had to check them out.

but this is where i sort of pause while writing this post, because i get really nervous talking about spending money, especially on here. i've frequently asked for help when i needed assistance getting my account out of the red or paying late rent, so part of me feels like it would be insulting to post about things i spend money on that aren't the essentials. but my plants make me happy. they give me something to take care of. they brighten up my apartment. they give me something to be excited about. so i'm just gonna tell you about my new plants.

about a month ago when i left my old church job, they gave me a gift card that the choir had pitched in for. i couldn't get cash out, use it for rent, or transfer it to my bank account, so i decided it would be my hobby fund. when i found out about the aroid show, i set aside a portion of that fund for plants because i knew that the specimens at the show would be significantly less expensive than anything i could find online or in local shops, and it might be one of the only chances i would ever have to actually buy some of my wishlist plants.

this is a philodendron esmeraldense. this is what they look like when the leaves get bigger and more mature. this is one i hadn't seen before so it wasn't on my wishlist, but when i was checking the vendors' stock last week i loved how it looked. i'm gonna put it on a moss pole and let it climb. the leaves probably won't ever get as big as the one in the linked photo, but i'm still excited to watch it grow.

this is a terrible picture but this is a philodendron patriciae. they get super long. this one’s putting out like two new leaves. it’s also a climber. the ripples in the leaves get more intense as it matures, so paired with the very long leaves it looks so cool. i can't wait to grow this one bigger.

philodendron pastazanum. it’s a crawler so i’ll be getting a window box to put it in so it has space to grow across the substrate. this has been on my list for a while but i couldn’t find it anywhere. the big heart leaves are just gorgeous.

this is a philodendron melanochrysum. the leaves can get huge. technically i already have a smaller one, but this one was just so gorgeous. i will probably end up planting them together on one moss pole. it’s one of my favorite plants, i am a sucker for velvety leaves. you can see one of the older leaves is getting ready to drop, and i think i'm going to try to make a project out of it.

philodendron tortum. it feels like the kind of plant that would have been growing while the dinos were around. it's very reminiscent of a fern, but it is also a climber. i had one like two years ago but i had to sell it to pay some bills, so i'm happy to have it back in my collection.

the one in the center. anthurium veitchii, or king anthurium. this one was kind of an impulse buy. i don’t usually do anthurium but it was cheap and looked incredibly cool. they look even cooler when they get mature.

what is a king without his queen. anthurium warocqueanum, or queen anthurium. i wasn't sure if i wanted to tackle this one bc it's notoriously hard to take care of, but it was very cheap so i took the plunge. these also get super long, and the velvety shiny leaves are so pretty.

monstera obliqua peru. this was a unicorn plant. it is difficult to find in the wild, grows slowly, and is hard to propagate, so it was mostly just passed from collector to collector until the plant boom during covid. nodes of this plant, literally just bits of stem you would cross your fingers and hope would root and grow leaves, were going for a thousand dollars and a single leaf up to three thousand dollars a year or two ago. and now i have a very full plant for only forty bucks. 2020 me is screaming. this specimen looks a little squished from the trek from south america to the midwest, but when it acclimates to its new environment, it's going to look so cool. this is another plant that has dino vibes.

and finally the grand finale. philodendron spiritus sancti. i honestly can't believe i'm typing this. this plant is considered to be one of the rarest philodendrons in the world - if not the rarest. it only grows in one place, and there are reportedly only 10 known plants left in the wild because of a combination of poaching and the excessive clearing of their habitat. it was another one that pretty much only existed in high level (wealthy) collections for a very long time. now, more specimens of this plant exist in private collections than in the wild, which makes ownership of this plant very emotional for me. this is a plant that was going for upwards of $14k for large specimens at the height of the plant boom. people were scrambling to get their hands on that one plant that no one could get, the highest prize, a bragging point. no one cared if they were getting it ethically. someone even stole a cutting from a botanical garden just to sell it.

this plant was not on my wishlist because i never thought i would even get to see in person, let alone hold, let alone own. and yet yesterday i picked it up, held it in my hands, saw the two digit price tag, and decided yeah. i think it's only fair that the money a bunch of presbyterians gave me should go to adding a plant called a "spiritus sancti" to my jewish plant collection.

it still doesn't feel real. i can just look over at my plant cabinet, and there it is. a spiritus sancti. bc for me it was never about having a big name plant in my collection. it was never about bragging or showing off or just checking names off a list of things i was supposed to want if i was into houseplants. this plant still exists because botanists and aroid enthusiasts have worked tirelessly to conserve it. and having this little piece of history and the world in my little plant cabinet feels more like a responsibility to me than a prize.

so yeah. those are my new plants. i'm excited to see them grow and still a little starstruck that i was even able to bring home the last two.

#plant collection

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beautouslysandy · 1 year

Text

Letters

Sodapop Curtis x GN!Reader

Warnings: Sodapop + Fluff= Death By Cuteness

Word Count: 645

(trying a new format, what do y'all think? also a big part of this post is through “letters”)

______________________________________________

-Your a bubbly person no wonder you and Sodapop clicked. You were so happy to have someone that had similar personality traits to you. You guys met in freshman year and have been friends since well until you moved to Florida. -You moved about a month ago and decided to send a letter to Sodapop.

-You had feelings for Sodapop but didn’t state such in the letter. Soda has feelings for you but never said anything and now it’s too late, what will happen?

______________________________________________

With The Curtis’ Brothers

“Soda!” Darry called from the kitchen. “Yeah?” Soda replied with his eyes locked in on the cartoon playing on the tv.

Darry walked over and handed Sodapop a letter, he recognized the handwriting instantly. He smiled softly. He opened the letter and it read,

‘Dear Soda,

I am officially a resident in Florida. It’s so humid here! I want to be back home, this is the worst. I am trying to look at the bright side….the trees are nice?’

Sodapop paused reading the letter and chuckled a bit with a sad smile. He was missing you as much as you were missing him.

‘I have met our right side neighbor, it’s a couple and their son who is our age. Total ass. Didn’t even acknowledge me until he saw my figure, gross! I wish I could say I am excited to start fresh but I would rather be with you and Steve at the Nightly Double watching some crappy movie and stuffing our faces with popcorn. And laughing till our lungs hurt.’

Sodapop scoffed at what you wrote about your neighbor, slightly wishing he could beat him up, but smiled at a memory of you, him, and Steve at the Nightly Double the night before you left. He pouted, he misses your smile.

‘But I am stuck here in mucky humid Florida but, I am coming back for the summer to see my aunt! The whole summer! It’s not as long as all-year around but you and Steve will survive, just don’t do anything I wouldn’t…I mean it. Also make sure Steve isn’t eating more than a slice of cake for breakfast, when I get him a slice at times I make it smaller than usual. Don’t tell him that! I wish I was there, Y/n L/n’

Sodapop smiled and began looking forward to the summer even more than usual. He wanted to write you back as you put your address for the return address. The next day he wrote back and put it in the mail box. All he had to do is wait. Which he wasn’t very good at.

______________________________________________ With you at your new house

You got the mail from the mailbox and received a letter with your name on it, it was probably illegible to some but you knew exactly who the letter was from. As you entered your new house you were smiling from ear to ear. You opened the envelope as soon as you got to your bedroom, in barely legible handwriting it said

‘Dear Y/n,

I wish you were here too. We miss you, especially Steve and I. It's not the same without your cheesy jokes and bright smile. Steve misses you coming and stopping by at the DX. I miss going to the Nightly Double with you as well. Steve will always whine that you're not with us. Once I told him you're coming back for the summer he got back to his old self. The chocolate cake problem will be dealt with, don't worry. Your aunt talked to me yesterday, she seems really excited that you're coming to stay with her this summer. But I bet I am more excited. Also, nobody gets my humor so you better not cancel, don't know how much longer I can take it. You're the only one who understands my dad jokes. I am not joking. I am counting down till summer also your neighbor's son does sound like an ass, want me to come over? I think Ponyboy and Darry miss you too. They seemed a little sad after your left for a few days. You have a toll on us, we won't survive. Better hurry!

Miss you most and wish you were here,

Sodapop Curtis’

You had butterflies in your stomach, you shook your head with a laugh, Sodapops letters almost sound as energetic as he does in person. You immediately put pen to paper. And put your letter in the mailbox.

This continued for months, leading right up to when your school for out. A week after you hopped on a plane to go to Tusla. You were beaming with joy, practically bouncing on your sit.

Your aunt picked you up at the airport and drove back to town, you guys had a great conversation. Your aunt was so happy you were back home. You were so happy you were back home.

Your aunt conveniently lives 2 blocks down from the Curtis’. After you, were all settled in, you practically ran to their house and knocked on their door. Soda pop opened it and his face turned to shock and happiness. He gave you a big hug.

“Your back!” He gleamed as he stepped aside to let you into the house.

“Yeah, so happy to be home!” You said back with a smile.

As soon as Sodapop saw that cheery and sunny smile of yours he knew all was right in the world.

You guys made eye contact, in your minds at that moment you guys knew exactly what the other felt. Y'all knew this was gonna be the best summer yet.

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders imagine #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #the outsiders sodapop #sodapop imagine #sodapop curtis

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thundersyst3m · 13 days

Text

"If someone says it's wrong to hope, I will tell them that they're wrong every time. I could tell them that countless times!"

Hello, I'm Thunder! We are a diagnosed DID system of over 100+ members!

Our collective pronouns are he/she/they/cloud, and our collective sexuality+gender identity are bisexual, genderfluid, aroacespec and polyamorous.

This blog is for reblogs, shitpost, dumb thoughts, aesthetics, daily life and questions!

Wanna know what I like + other social media? Check here!

SOME INFO ABOUT US + BYF

♡ I hate racists, homophobes, transphobes, zionists, ableists and all that jazz i hate y'all and will block y'all.

♡ We are severely mentally ill (AUDHD, BPD, DID, and possibly ASPD), were isolated socially for years and we are recovering from a lot of stuff, sometimes relapses will happen and I can have outbursts in this blog, be warned.

♡ During my pre-teen / teenager years I was extremely abusive towards multiple people due to my own past of abuse, this blog has mentions of abuse both in the vision of a victim and a ex-perpretator, this link leads to my post taking accountability + link to the statements of the victims (please do not attack / witchhunt them)

Regardless of my past actions, I am allowed to not respond + keep details about my past to myself (therapy suggestion).

♡ We are Brazilian! So expect portuguese posts!

♡ We are having a race crisis, we don't know if we white or mixed/pardo, hard at the moment

♡ We are extremely anxious and overall introverts that hate DMs, please avoid DMing us without asking us beforehand using our ask box!

♡ This account is +16, but for my own comfort I don't befriend minors, I don't mind mutuals but I will probably ignore friendly DMs if you're -18

♡ I have a tendency to have delusions, interact with care.

♡ We don't answer vent asks (unless I ask for it), hate asks or asks with important questions about our past, in case you need to say something important to us, ask to DM us using the ask box and then DM us about it. And again, we are allowed to ignore / not respond you if we aren't comfortable. if you insist, you will be blocked.

♡ I do not care for LGBT contradictory labels, I do not care for endo discourse and I also do not care for proship/antiship discourse, sending discourse asks/DMs = block.

♡ Don't send asks regarding people from my past / ex-friends, I do not care and I will block you.

♡ In the past, I used to help others with calling out dangerous / abusive people, but due to my decaying mental health + tendency to delusions, I no longer do this kind of stuff, please do not come to me to ask me to help you with callouts. If you insist, I will block you. (however if we had an abuser in common, you are more than welcome to come chat/vent/rant with me about it, just be warned that I won't be bringing it publicly).

♡ I try my best to use trigger warnings constantly, please tell me if i forget.

♡ I block freely, especially content i find repetitive/boring/not interesting for me personally or if I get blocked first, so if i have you blocked, don't take it personally.

♡ We interact with both anti-endo and pro-endo, we will only DNI If you have "endo neutral" on your DNI.

SFW PAGES:

My art page is @cinnaskiies

My qsmp page is @qthundercubitos

My littles page is @thundersystemlittles

My writing blog is @thund3rwords

My paranoia blog is @magicalgirlbreakroom

My therian acc is @thundersyspaws

North's winter posting blog together with an alter from another system is @frozenheartache

NSFW PAGES (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT):

My hornyposting page is @thunderhornyposting (+18 ONLY)

Chilchuck dedicated blog @chilchucklover2003 (+18 ONLY)

Kink / Expression blog is @thunderfreaks (+18 ONLY)

ALTER BLOGS:

North - @winterangelthoughts

Gabe - @blood-soaked-peppermint

Blade - @cherrycolahound

TAGS

#thunder system - daily notes about our day + text posts

#thunder asks - Our ask tag

#therapy stories - funny or impactful things from therapy

To see posts from certain alters, just put [alter name].pdf

ALTERS

These are the alters that mostly use this tumblr:

Nimbus ✨ - Body age - All pronouns/zap/cloud

Blade 🍒 - 24 - He/They/Hound

Alice 🌸- 28 - She/They

Fawn 🦌🩸 - 20's - He/They/Deer

More will be added...

USERBOXES

SILLY PROJECTS / THINGS:

Project Know-It-All tracking

Headmate Layout Of The Month

Enjoy your stay! <3

#introduction post #thunder system #thunder asks #therapy stories

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dandyshucks · 2 days

Text

ooooh babeyyy who's the best headmate? yeah, that's right - it's me LMAO. hi everyone, how y'all doing, it's Chase again 👋 in an effort to be somewhat social and also to brag about my capabilities, I am making a post on this blog lmao.

Look at this shit y'all (idk what mobile formatting looks like so uh. use desktop maybe):

You get a secret sneak preview to this lmao, the link isn't anywhere on the main page yet.

Anyways in the past three days while Juno's been AWOL, I've figured out how to add an audio player; how to layer elements on the webpage; and how to align the text and images beside each other inside the scroll box while maintaining the vertical scroll (it kept lining everything up horizontally for a while lmfao).

The text beside the images is just some bullshit that Lake and I came up with (based off of stuff Juno's written/brainstormed in the past) to test the text alignment out since Juno isn't around to give me any input, but I feel like we did a good job making it sound like some shit they'd come up with lol.

I'll give a small update on The Situation while I'm here in case anyone's wondering what's been going on:

I never know how much I'm supposed to say about anything lol uhhh.

TL;DR is just that Juno was having a very difficult time the past week because of Things, and is now unreachable and thus won't be fronting for an indeterminate amount of time - they could be back tomorrow, they might be back in a week, I have no fucking idea tbh. So this blog is on semi-hiatus until they're back because the rest of us either don't have a lot of interest in the s.elfship stuff ourselves or we just don't want to like... intrude on this space.

slightly longer version of it (TW abuse and suicide mention):

some emotional abuse stuff at home has been ramping up significantly, and this has been having an extremely bad effect on Juno (understandably so) especially since they've been trying to handle this shit without our help, so we've had to put them on lockdown essentially so we can like. remain alive lol. I'm trying not to be too flippant about it but uh yeah. that's the gist of it. love a good suicide scare, amiright? I'm not in charge of the decision to put them on lockdown, I have no say in how it all gets handled, I'm just here to fill the host role while Juno's gone.

They'll be gone until Kam and Lake decide they're okay enough to not do anything stupid and desperate the moment they get into front lmao, so in the meantime I'm the one who'll be fronting for the most part. And while I do like the idea of getting with G.uzma myself, I don't have much of an interest in posting about it LMAO - plus my own dynamic with the guy would be pretty fucking different from Juno's, and that's not what y'all followed for.

(Kam - "gatekeeper"/the one who's basically in charge of shit and also the resident lesbian; Lake - bisexual swag with big caretaker energy; Chase (me) - faggy freak who probably shouldn't have this much responsibility lmaoooo)

#dandy.cmd #dandy.sys #<- new tag for any posts made by anyone who isn't Juno specifically 👍#we all go by Dandy as a general name btw lol but prefer our individual names when possible #anyways hope I didn't say too much. been trying to figure out what a good amount to share about the situation would be #we are dealing with it as best we can 🙏 rolling with the punches or whatever lmao

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a-smol-cosplayer · 1 year

Text

im back on my ‘contributing to the wednesday/wyler fandom as a whole’ here are some incorrect quotes for y'all :)

Enid: I am SPEECHLESS!!

Wednesday: *narrating*: despite being speechless she managed to lecture me for the next ten minutes

Wednesday: If you had to separate your bees from 49 other identical bees that were all equally excited to see you, how would you determine which bee was yours?

Eugene: I would take my 50 bees home and live like a king

Xavier: who would win a fight, Enid or Tyler?

Wednesday: I cant answer that - Tyler is my boyfriend.

Xavier: so Enid?

Wednesday: definitely

Yoko: I hate going into the kitchen only to realise im the only snack in the house.

Tyler: *drops keys*

Tyler: you’ve got to be key-ding me

Enid: MURDER IS NEVER THE ANSWER!!

Tyler: Of course not! Murder is the question

Wednesday: And the answer is always.

Bianca: All of you are wrong. The answer was 12. This is why you all failed.

Wednesday: I would be the worst PR manager ever. My client would be like ‘there are rumours going around that I’m gay and a satanist’ and I would just be like ‘haha awesome!’

Eugene: drug dealer? No, hug dealer! Come here

Ajax: anyone would be lucky to date me, I was called ‘a pleasure to have in class’ when I was in primary school

Wednesday: in my defence I was left unsupervised

Enid: weren’t you with Thing??

Thing: In my defence I was also left unsupervised

Wednesday: idiotsaywhat

Enid: pardon?

Tyler: sorry?

Bianca: excuse me?

Xavier: what?!?!?

Enid: Yoko! Did u know that there is a rumour that you are gay!

Yoko: rumour!?!?! a RUMOUR!?!? U mean people are doubting it!?

Enid: can you turn the lights on?

Ajax: I don’t need to, you’re the only light I need in my life.

Enid: Ajax please I cant see.

Eugene: I’m a genius, I finished this lego set in 3 days!

Wednesday: so?

Eugene: The box says from 4-7 years

Wednesday: we’re so in sync, it’s like we finish each others-

Enid: homework

Wednesday: huh?

Enid, sliding her maths work over in tears: please

Enid: you were so drunk at the party last night

Tyler: no I wasn’t

Enid: actually you were

Enid: you called a taxi to take you home

Tyler: so? Thats responsible, I didn’t want to put anyone in danger by drinking and driving

Enid: the party was at your house, Tyler...

Enid: if a plant is sad, do other plants photo-sympathise with it?

Yoko: I chlorofeel you man

Bianca, tired as hell at 3am: are you guys fucking serious?

Enid: I have a boyfriend now

Wednesday trying to be encouraging: a boyfriend?

Enid: *reflexively does a panicked peace sign*

Wednesday: TWO boyfriends!?!?

Bianca: do you have any chicken or pork?

Waitress: no, but we have beef

Bianca: oh, WE have beef, huh? You really wanna fight? Alright, let’s do this. Kent, hold my breadsticks.

Enid: I changed all of my passwords to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, it will tell me, ‘your password is incorrect.’

Yoko: genius

Wednesday, already hacking into all her info: dumbass

Tyler: I just hid Wednesdays typewriter so she would hang out with us… how long do you think I have left to live?

Enid: 10

Tyler: 10 what?

Enid: 9

Enid at 3am at a sleepover: how do tall people sleep? Wouldn’t their feet go right past the blanket?

Tyler: Enid it’s 3 in the morning

Enid: you can’t sleep?

Tyler: …

Enid: is it the blanket?

Tyler: Awe look at you Wednesday, getting romantic with all these candles

Wednesday: first of all, I’m summoning a demon

Enid: *stabbing air between Wednesday and Bianca with a butter knife*

Wednesday: what are you doing?

Enid: trying to cut the angry tension between you two

Enid: it isn’t working

Tyler: I haven’t been this happy since-

Tyler:

Tyler: oh, wow. I’ve never been this happy!

Tyler: huh!

Tyler: that’s bad!

Tyler: I really wish you would just own up to it when you make a mistake

Wednesday, calmly stirring her coffee: I prEFER it with salt

Xavier: *hugs Wednesday*

Wednesday: what are you doing?

Xavier: appreciating the little things in life

Wednesday: bitch

*playing scrabble*

Enid: I will put down my ‘A’ to spell ‘A’

Tyler: I will put down my ’T’ to make ‘AT’

Wednesday: and I will add onto your ‘AT’ to make ‘BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC’

Enid: *flips board*

Wednesday: What if I pour coffee into my cereal instead of milk?

Tyler, taking the coffee pot as he walks by: what if you don’t.

Yoko: Wednesday, someone dropped your manuscript

Wednesday: are you joking? That manuscript is my best friend and I will straight up ASSASSINATE-

Yoko: it was Enid

Wednesday: of course she did never mind then.

Enid: truth or dare?

Wednesday: truth

Enid: how many hours have you slept this week?

Wednesday: uhh, dare

Enid: I dare you to go to sleep

Wednesday: I don’t like this game

Tyler: Wednesday Addams could slap me in the face and I’d say thank you

Xavier: i’d say thank you too

Bianca: theres a monster underneath my bed and its really ugly

Kent, on the bottom bunk: honestly, fuck you

Enid: a Z is just a sideways N

Wednesday, trying to concentrate: can you shut up?

Enid: zo

Enid: what are you guys doing?

Kent, Yoko and Ajax: *taking a quiz to see what kind of dog breed they are*

Yoko: important stuff

[after the gates mansion gets cleared]

Wednesday: Nothing good will ever happen to me again!

[twelve seconds later]

Wednesday: so far my theory has been confirmed.

Wednesday: Tyler annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for my birthday tomorrow.

Enid: but it isn’t your birthday tomorrow.

Wednesday: But there is something special about watching the colour leave his face as the panic takes over

Enid: you were supposed to do something about the rat in your locket

Ajax: I did

Ajax: I named him fluffy. He likes coco pops.

Wednesday: my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss. What should I do?

Bianca: Punch him in the stomach so he doubles over then kiss him.

Enid: tackle him

Yoko: kick him in the shins

Tyler: just ask me to lean down?!?!?

Tyler: why would you give a knife to a child?

Wednesday: Enid felt unsafe

Tyler: now I feel unsafe

Wednesday: I’m sorry...

Wednesday: Would u like a knife?

Ajax: you’re up early

Literally everyone: ......

Ajax: you never went to sleep did u?

Tyler: my criminal record? The only illegal thing I’ve done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor

Tyler: hahaha just kidding, I’ve killed a man

Enid: why are you smiling?

Wednesday: what? Can’t I just be happy?

Bianca: Xavier tripped down the stairs

Enid and Tyler: You will have a hard time believing this because it never happens but it was a mistake we swear—

Wednesday: A MISTAKE?!? *gestures to the table that is on fire*

Bianca: Have you ever been scolded by Enid?

Wednesday: Im not scared of her

Bianca: So thats a no

Wednesday *doing something risky* : I am going to do this and not you or god himself can stop me

Tyler: *Starts typing on his phone*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: ..Tyler

Tyler:

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *panicking* Tyler what are you doing?!? What have you done?!?!

Tyler:

Enid: *bursting through the door* wedNESDAY ADDAMS DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL--

this ended up being way to long congrats to anyone that made it in the end

#subtly pushes my enid and Tyler being besties agenda #and my wyler agenda #I promise I will do a more Xavier friendly one at some point I am just on my 'wow wednesday treated him hella bad the whole show' brainwave #like my dude didn't deserve this #ALSO #pushing my ajax agenda #cause I love him #and lowkey my enid/ajax agenda #and my Tyler apologist agenda #yeah this post is biased as hell #however I tried to put some subtle wenclair in there as well for yall #bc I am really a rarepair/unpopular opinion fan in this fanbase lol #but most of them are kinda neutral besties vibes #anyways here are the actual tags #wednesday #wednesday addams #tyler galpin #enid sinclair #Eugene (I dont know his last name)#eugene #bianca belair #xavier thorpe #ajax petropolus #yokokawa naotaka #I think thats her #wyler #bc I love them #I won't tag wenclair but I promise if u squint its in there #wednesday netflix #okay I think thats it

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teamfreewill2pointo · 9 months

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I'm not picking at you, but I strongly disagree with how you and some other parasocial fans try to depict Jensen's childhood. He has said that he had a great childhood, playing outside all of the time, playing sports, surrounded by his brother and sister and extended family. He has listed his Dad as his hero in many articles. He was allowed to purchase a car prior to turning 16, which many parents would have never allowed, so independence was encouraged. Yes his family was religious, so what? Yes his mother made him eat his vegetables, 99% of Mom's did back in the 80"s, not child abuse. The punishment by the belt grosses me out, but again, in Texas, in the 80"s that was the standard. Jensen mentions spankings in school, which was also the standard then. This man grew up in a family that he is very proud of, as he has said multiple times. Don't demean his childhood because it doesn't fit into your personal box of what a perfect childhood should be. I suspect that Jared's was actually quite similar. They both seem to be well adjusted, happy men who have personally grown with the times. Their parents did OK. Respect.

It's weird that you disagree with me, when I basically said this.

As I said before, I'm from a very similar culture, and my dad was very similar to Jensen's dad, although my dad wasn't as homophobic as Jensen's dad. I am very familiar with how Christian conservatives are raised, because it's how I was raised.

You can think you had a great childhood, love your father, feel loved by your father, and acknowledge that your father had traits of toxic masculinity that had to be unlearned in adulthood.

You can have a wonderful relationship with your parents, and love them, and feel loved by them, but still think that it was wrong for them to beat you with instruments.

You can think your dad was a great dad, but still think that when someone passes out after being knocked in the head, they should be checked out by a doctor.

There are still spankings in schools! People still spank their kids! Jensen and I do not, because we have learned how to be better than our parents. I don't get why so many of y'all are so eager to defend beating children.

Jensen and I have unlearned a lot of the toxic masculinity with which we have been raised. We have learned to be more progressive than our conservative Christian parents. This doesn't mean that we don't love them or feel loved by them. You can love somebody and still think that they screwed up.

It's not black and white. I feel like some of you take this approach to characters and people. You can criticize characters and people without painting them as villains. I can say Alan Ackles should not have beaten any of his children, and that's not making him a villain, or trying to woobify Jensen, especially since Jensen doesn't see it that way!

I think it's so weird how a lot of you are trying to justify or excuse Alan Ackles's behavior. I was beaten by my parents. It wasn't okay. I look back at my childhood fondly and miss my dad every single day. I still love my parents and I feel loved by my parents, just like Jensen.

So why are you coming in here, and accusing me of demeaning his childhood? Why are you making the assumption that I think he should have had a perfect childhood? Why are you defending beating kids?

The reason that all of this matters is because J2 were put in conditions that were physically and emotionally punishing. They had father figures on set who used to yell and throw things and engage in behavior that is abusive, just like hitting people.

Because they grew up in an environment that was abusive, they did not speak up or speak out when put in many of these circumstances because they had no idea how things could be different. That's just how the industry was run. You were put in a room that was set on fire. You were put in a room with a ton of bees and treated as if you were a pansy for not wanting to be in that room. You were made to crawl on glass and cut yourself.

You would wake up at 245am to get on a phone call to air live on the East Coast, then at 4am, do Midwest promotions, etc, going through 4 timezones. Then you would go to set and work 18 hour daysn outside in the rain at night.

[And if you couldn't handle such a punishing schedule and started to have an emotional breakdown because of it, you were yelled at and basically forced to go to work.]

The thing is, to not acknowledge all of what they went through, is to deny what amazing people they are. Jared could have absorbed all of that as just normal and part of the industry, the way that so many other show runners do, but he deliberately set out to create a set culture that is not abusive. Jensen could be one of the many parents who spanks their kids.

They strove to be better. If you ignore or minimize the abuse that they went through, you're not acknowledging how much strength it takes to go down a different path.

#alan ackles #jensen ackles #jared padalecki

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sparkanonymous · 11 months

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Hello!

Anyone under the age of 18, do not follow me. Please.

Decided to put effort into an actual introductory post, so here we go.

Obviously, this is my art account, and you may refer to me with any pronouns. I don't care. I am 20 years old.

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Pedophiles, MAPs, PEARs, Zoophiles, etc.

Transphobes, Homophobes

Racists

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"KYS" commenters

If I see anyone described in my DNI interacting with my account, I will block them.

If I have followed a minor or interacted with anyone described in my DNI, please let me know.

(Any minors that happen to follow me will be soft-blocked.)

I am anti-harassment and anti-censorship. I do not have the energy for any negativity. Sorry, y'all.

—————————————————————————

Interactions

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Anonymous asks are on, but if this proves to be a problem, I'll turn that off.

You can use my work as a reference, just please do not outright trace it.

I do not believe in "pose theft" or "color palette theft," so if you want to use my work for either the pose or color palette, go right ahead.

I don't know how to respond to compliments, but just know that they're appreciated, whether in comments, tags, or reblog responses!

Current Interests

Ninjago Total Drama Island Franchise

This will be updated for every piece of media I start to consistently post about.

Of Video Games

Sims 2 and 3 Minecraft Tomodachi Life

I'm not interested in shipping wars and will usually just stick away from things that I don't like. Also, my stuff will most likely not be sticking to the canon material. I like doing my own thing and making up shit all the time.

Specifically, I plan on eventually making pieces for Total Drama characters I feel would be related in some way to the Reboot cast. I know that some people don't like the implications when it comes to canon, but I hope it's okay if I make the original, RotI, and Pakitew Island casts a good 10-15+ more years older than the Reboot cast.

If you want to see what art I like or what fandom spaces I tend to be in, go follow my reblog-blog account, @sparksartreblog.

Ship Tags

"rajbow" - Raj x Bowie from Total Drama "primien" or "damiya" - Priya x Damien from Total Drama "nichayne" - Nichelle x Wayne from Total Drama "glaciershipping" - Cole x Zane from Ninjago "bruiseshipping" - Cole x Jay from Ninjago "luaisy" - Luigi x Daisy from the Super Mario franchise "mareach" - Mario x Peach from the Super Mario franchise "bawn" - B x Dawn from Total Drama

This will be updated the more pairings I post.

My Tags

"spark arts" - My art

"spark speaks" - Where I talk

"spark wips" - Character designs, works in progress, and general unfinished or sketchy pieces

"thumbnail" - Thumbnail art I do for the VODs channel

"reblog" - Anything I happen to reblog

"spark arts reblog" - Any of my art I reblog

"art theft" / "credit the artists" / "love your artists" - Where I try to find and credit uncredited artists

"screenshot redraw" - Any screenshot/screencap I happen to redraw

Let's get this one thing straight; this is my account, and I will do what I want with it. If I like something, I will draw it. Everything I do is a work of fiction, and if you see something that seems harmful, it was not my intention for it to be harmful.

Please, for everyone's mental health, if you don't like something that I've posted, please block this account.

#spark speaks #intro post

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poedameronwifey · 2 months

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A true home (The hobbit Fanfic)

Chapter 17

Hey y'all. Things are about to get super duper emotional. Make sure you have a box of tissues because I can assure you, there will be crying and there will be laughing. Al I know is that this is gonna make you feel stuff, So good luck, Enjoy and happy readings. Now onwards, my readers.

Also super sorry about this late post. I have been extremely busy with university but I will be posting more chapters soon. Don't worry!!!!!

___________________________________________________

Kate's Pov

To say that everyone was surprised would be an understatement. I'm pretty sure one or two of them fainted. I mean it's not every day that they find out that Thorin Oakenshield has a daughter who is part-elven and who has been with them since the beginning of the trip. But once we passed all of that, they cheered and gave Lilith hugs, congratulating her. Fili and Kili were beyond happy to have a cousin. They hugged her so tight, I'm surprised that she didn't burst, Balin gave her a warm smile and hug, welcoming her to the family. Renee and I just stood on the side, looking at how happy everyone was. We couldn't be happier for Lilith. I found my father and Lilith found her family. I looked at Reni with a sad look. She doesn't have a family anymore. She's the last one. It's not fair. They should be here.

It was night-time now and everyone was sitting around the fire. The girls and I decided to tell them the truth. The dwarves were surprised to learn that they were from a famous book. Renee explained how we got here.

"So you went into a cave and saw a pool inside it. Then walked out and found yourselves here?"

"Yep. We know it's weird. I mean we were surprised when we realised we were no longer home. But now I'm glad it happened. Lilith found her family and I found my father. Still a bit mad that Mama didn't tell us but I don't blame her."

Renee nodded. Lilith was sitting in between Balin and Thorin. She had her head on Thorin's shoulder. His arm wrapped around her back and his coat around them both. Soon Bofur took over, telling stories about the Blue Mountains. Everything just felt right. I smiled at my new family. I couldn't ask for anything better. My eyes gravitated to Fili. He was smoking his pipe, leaning against the wall with his legs up, laughing with his brother at Bofur' s story. He looked so beautiful. I couldn't help the blush that made its way to my face. I can't seem to get him out of my mind since Bag End. I needed some time to myself. I got up and excused myself and walked around. I stopped when I found a small pond. I sat down on the edge and put my hands in the water. It was so cool and comforting.

Then I thought, what if I had magic? I mean I did also go in the pool when I was a baby so maybe it did something to me. I decided to test that theory. My hand hovered above the water and I concentrated. The water rose from the pond to my hands, making him lose concentration and the water went back into the pond. I decided to try it again and the same thing happened. I stood up and watched as the water kept rising and I let out a surprised noise. I was able to manipulate water. I did some cool tricks that I saw in movies and TV shows. I laughed as I played with the water. It was all around me, entwining around my hands like vines but made of water. After a while I stopped, returning the water to the pond. I can't wait to tell the girls. They're going to freak out.

I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I turned around and saw Fili walking towards me. I smiled at him, making him return it with a wink. I just rolled my eyes.

"Well hello stranger. What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you."

"Ooh did you miss me that much?"

"Of course my lady. It's boring when you are there. Plus I can't let you walk around alone. You might get lost."

I raised my eyebrow, a smirk making its way to my face, " Oh really? And you have the whole place mapped out? Oh, thank lord you came. I am saved. Now I won't have to worry about getting lost. My prince- no wait, My dwarf in shining armour. My hero."

I dramatically put my hands over my eyes and sighed. I started to laugh. He joined in. I waved him over and sat on the edge of the pond, he sat down next to me.

"Ah, that was fun."

"Aye, it was. Who knew you could be just as dramatic as Renee and Lilith."

"Where do you think they learned it from? Sure as hell wasn't the drama classes they had when they were younger. I'm just kidding. I just don't show it often. I leave that to the main drama queen; Reni, Lils, Thorin and Kili."

"Don't let Thorin hear you say that." I got up and turned to him, hands on my hips and standing on one leg.

"Or what? He's going to kill me with his majesticness? Or he's going to stare at me, hoping looks can kill? Please at least give me a challenge. Now, Reni, she's a challenge. You never know with that one. One time in school, I told this boy to shut up because I couldn't concentrate in class. He ignored me so I stabbed him in the hand with my pencil. Well next to his hand. He got angry and stabbed my hand with his pencil. When Reni found out, she was pissed. Confronted the dude to try and make him apologise to me but he just laughed. Reni's whole mood shifted. It was like she had no feelings or emotions. She walked up to him and kicked him in the stomach. Then she punched him in the face. She kept beating the shit out of him and almost broke his arm before I finally stopped her. She then said to him: "If you ever hurt my sister again, I will ruin your life, slit your throat in your sleep, burn your body, make everyone forget you ever existed and get people to feel sorry for me. And then still get away with it. You mess with my sisters, you mess with me" and walked away without care while he had a panic attack. Soon everyone heard about it and never messed with us again. Her mind goes blank and it's like someone else takes over. She has no memory of what she does when she's angry. That's why she just doesn't get angry. She'll get irritated or annoyed but never angry. And if she does, oh pray to whoever you believe in and say your goodbyes. You'll be dead before you even turn around. Lilith is kind of the same but she's not as dangerous as Reni unless you have royally screwed up."

"Reni doesn't seem like the type to do that but then again you never know. The boy got what he deserved. Now I know I will not get on her bad side."

"Yep, but she's only like that with loved ones. She's too kind for own good."

Fili nodded in agreement. They started talking about random stuff. Fili told stories about his childhood while Kate laughed and stood up to make sure she didn't fall over. Turns out that princes can be very mischievous. That explains why Thorin has grey hair. All of a sudden it was quiet so I turned to Fili and he was looking at me with that look again. When he saw me in that dress, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He walked to me, his eyes never leaving mine. When he was right in front of me, one of his hands cradled my face as he touched my forehead with his. I could feel his breath on my face. He put an arm around my waist pulling me against him, making me gasp as we stared into each other's eyes.

"Kate, I have to tell you something. I cannot wait any longer. I love you. I love you more than all the stars in the skies. I tried to deny it but I can't anymore. My heart belongs to you. You are my One."

Kate didn't know what to say. "You love me? But I'm a hobbit and you're a dwarf. A prince nonetheless."

"I don't care. I know what my heart wants. It wants you. But you do not need to say anything. I just want you to know."

He removed his arm from her waist and placed a soft kiss on her head. He turned to leave. Kate finally felt cold and realised that Fili had walked away. He loved her. Even though she wasn't a dwarf. But what did she feel? Did she love him? She thought back to the moment they met. How he blushed when he introduced himself, he covered her in his coat to make sure she didn't freeze. He was always there by her side. He made her feel safe and loved. She couldn't get him out of her head. She wondered why but now she knew, She was in love. With Fili. She had to tell him. He was almost out of her sight when she shouted.

"Fili, wait." He turned around and looked at her. She had tears running down her face. She walked to him as she spoke.

" Fili, at first I was scared. I've never felt like this before. I didn't know what this feeling meant. You never left my mind. You make me feel butterflies whenever you look at me. Whenever I'm with you, I feel safe and happy. You make me happy. I thought it would go away on its own but if anything, it just got worse. I tried to deny it, to run away from this feeling. But my heart wouldn't let go. I love you Fili. I have loved you since the night we met. I don't want to run from my feelings anymore. My heart belongs to you, it always has."

By the end I was in front of him, putting his face in my hands. His hands were wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him. Tears ran down his cheeks as he touched my forehead with his.

"Amrâlimê. I love you so much."

"I love you too, my love."

He leaned down, pulling me into a kiss. I closed my eyes, kissing him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck. It was passionate. It was full of love. His love. We pulled away, foreheads resting against each other as we looked into each other's eyes. I never thought this day would come. I never thought I'd fall in love. But now, I'm so happy I did. I sighed happily as he pulled me into his chest, cheek on my head. He placed a kiss on my forehead and ran his fingers through my hair. We stood like that for a few minutes. Nothing else mattered at that moment. It was just us, nothing else. I pulled back looking into his eyes with a smile. He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. At the notion, I let out a giggle. And I never giggle. I was so happy. I never thought I'd ever find love. My sisters are going to tease the hell out of me. I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while he ran his fingers through my hair. We stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company. I realised we'd been gone for too long. We had to get back to the others before they got suspicious but I don't want to leave. He's so fucking warm and cuddly. I pulled away, putting my hands on his chest and looking into his blue eyes.

"We have to head back. The others will get ideas and the last thing we need is my sisters making it worse."

He nodded with a smile, kissing my forehead. We walked back to the others, hands intertwined but as soon as we got close, we let go, smiling at each other as we parted ways. That did not go unnoticed by Renee and Kili. they smirked at each other. Damn it. Well, I know how I'm going to die. Teased to death by my annoying sisters. She caught my eyes, smirking and wiggling her eyebrows at me while I rolled my eyes and gave her the finger with an innocent expression. I loved pissing my sisters off. It's so much fun.

Third Pov

It was the next morning and the girls were busy training their powers in the forest near Rivendell. Katherine managed to manipulate water molecules to make water move in any form: Solid, liquid and gas. Lilith could control the plants around her and listen to nature and everything it was saying. A howl cried out, alerting the girls. They looked at each other before running to where the sound came from. They had their weapons out just in case. They came to a tree where the sound came from and saw a little black wolf pup with bright blue silver eyes crouching closer to the tree, scared and alone. The girls put their weapons away and put their hands out to show ads that they mean no harm. Lilith walked towards the little pup, not breaking eye contact and kneeling in front of it. It seemed to trust Lilith so it came out of hiding and walked slowly until it was right in front of her.

"Hi, sweetie. It's okay I'm not gonna hurt you and neither will my sisters."

Do you promise?

Lilith had no clue how but she could understand what the little pup was.

"Can you understand me little one?"

Yes.

"Okay, Why don't you tell me where your parents are?"

They're dead. I'm all alone.

"Oh, sweetie. It's okay. You want to come with me?"

The little wolf pup nodded its little head and ran into Lilith's arms. She stood up and rubbed its fur. Renee and Kate had confused looks on their faces. Lilith explained that she was able to understand what the pup was saying, They concluded that she was able to talk to animals. Renee rubbed the little one's head, smiling at it.

"Wait, is it a boy or a girl? We need to know if we're going to give it a name."

Lilith checked and confirmed it was a boy. The girls walked back to Rivendell, coming up with a name for the little guy.

"Hey, what about Hades? He reminds me of him from Percy Jackson, the book more than the movie."

"That's true. Well, then your new name is Hades. Do you like it?"

Hades nodded, causing Renee to swoon at how adorable he was. Lilith rubbed behind his ear and Kate gave him a kiss on his forehead. When the girls got back to the company, Thorin was the first to notice them, smiling at his daughter. He then noticed the little wolf pup in Lilith's arms. Lilith went up to him while Kate went to Fili, putting her head on his shoulder and Renee sat next to Kili, putting her legs in his lap and leaning against the wall. Lilith explained what happened as Thorin listened, He then looked at the little wolf pup and smiled, rubbing behind his ear. He kissed Lilith on her head and went over to Balin.

Soon it was time for the meeting with Lord Elrond. Thorin, Bilbo, Balin and the girls all went to Lord Elrond's study where he was waiting for them along with Gandalf.

"For goodness sake, show Lord Elrond the map."

"It is the legacy of my people. It is mine to protect, as are its secrets."

"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves."

"Oh save me from the fucking stubbornness of dwarves."

Both Gandalf and Renee said in an irritated tone at the same time, Renee facepalming and shaking her head in irritation. Lilith hits her dad across the back of the head, causing him to look at her with a hint of mock betrayal which she just responds with a mock glare.

"Now I know where this one gets her stubbornness from. Look just show him the fucking map Thorin," Renee pleaded.

"Your pride will be your downfall. You stand in the very presence of the few in Middle-earth that can read that map. Show it to Lord Elrond."

Bilbo and Kate side-eyed Thorin, unsure of what he would do. Throin debated it internally before swallowing his pride and giving Lord Elrond the map. Balin tried to stop him.

"Thorin, no."

Lord Elrond took the map and opened it to examine it,

"Erebor? What is your interest in this map?"

"It's mainly academic."

"I mean these sort of artefacts contain hidden text, right ?"

Lord Elrond looked at Renee suspiciously before looking back at the map He then started walking to the light, holding up the map.

"You still read Ancient Dwarvish, do you not?"

Lord Elrond and Lilith said something in a language Kate and Renee didn't recognise. Luckily Gandalf seemed to have read their minds.

"Moon Runes. Of course. An easy thing to miss."

"Yeah because you missed it," Renee muttered to herself but she knew Gandalf heard her because he just gave her a look. When he turned away from her, she pulled her tongue, making her sisters laugh. Lilith leans closer to Thorin.

"I think Gandalf needs a pair of glasses. I think his eyes are getting on a little."

MotherFucker just smirked at her, feeling a sense of pride while she just winked at him.

"In this case, that is true. Moon Runes can only be read by the light of the moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written."

"Can you read them?"

Lord Elrond led them to a cliff where there stood a glass platform where he placed the map. Lilith stood next to him, looking at the map.

"These runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly 200 years ago. It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell. Fate is with you, Thorin Oakenshield. The same moon shines upon us tonight."

Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks

And the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day

Will shine upon the keyhole.

"Durin's Day?"

"It is the start of the dwarves' new year when the last moon of autumn and the first sun of winter appear in the sky together."

"This is ill news. Summer is passing, Durin's day will soon be upon us."

"We still have time."

"Time? For what?"

"To find the entrance. We have to be standing in exactly the right spot at exactly the right time. Then, and only then can the door be opened."

"So this is your purpose, to enter the mountain?"

"What of it?"

"There are some who would not deem it wise."

"What do you mean?"

"You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middle-Earth."

The girls looked at each other, knowing who he spoke of,

Sauron's Cockwarmer *cough cough cough*

_____________________________________________________

You guys can try and figure out who were talking about. Also I didn't come up with that. My co-writer did and I just had to put it in the book. Anyway who else is surprised that Fili decided to tell Kate that he loves her. I know I am because dude is a scaredy cat when it comes to this stuff but its okay, we love him. At least she wont die alone or a virgin...Hopefully. Anyway I hop you enjoyed that. The Bold was the wolf pup speaking. Dwarvish is in Italics. Byeeeeeeee

Roxie_Love

The wolf cub

#the hobbit #katherine wolfe #renee griffin #lilith everdeen #a true home #gandalf #lord elrond #lady galadriel #Saurman #bilbo baggins #kili #the company of thorin oakenshield #fili #Hades #not the god #That's the name of the little wolf pup

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