#also i didn't know lost stars has its own manga as well

[otterandterrier]

Do you think the Princess and the Scoundrel should get a manga adaptation like Leia Princess of Alderaan and Lost Stars did?

I've been thinking of nothing else for the past three days, I'm sending this out to the universe to manifest it for us

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

>They are really following the “saving child shigaraki” path 💀

No? Well, yes, but Deku seeing what happened to Tenko and talking to Tenko was always going to happen, it doesn't mean that only child Tenko gets saved lol. Tenko is Shigaraki's origin, his core, his genuine ideas, his honne (true feelings and desires). Of course Deku has to understand and save Tenko to save adult!Tenko, lol. Nobody seemed to complain when child!Ochako was talking to child!Himiko and etc., so what's up with some people's attitude now? 😭

I think the fandom is a bit paranoid because they really fear some theories.

I sometimes entertain those theories just to fuck around and create what ifs. It's a mere childplay. "Oh what if the school burned today and we all graduated earlier" type of mindset. The odds of it happening are non-existent, but c'mon. Unless you plan to burn the school yourself or you know someone will try, the odds are almost zero.

"but somewhere in the world a school burned—"

Sure, some mangas decide to end things the worst way possible only to cause shock, to fuck with fans, for money, sometimes simply because they don't understand their own stories. Even the big mangas is subjected to that. The author can go bananas for whatever reason and give you a terrible ending.

From my perspective, Horikoshi has rarely lost sight of the story he wants to tell. If he opens a plotline, he takes care to close it later. We got our traitor, we got the resolution with the Todorokis, we got AFO, class 1B, the villain comebacks...

Even when there were moments I knew Horikoshi went a little on the tangent (like Stars and Stripes) he was quick to return to the main issue. In bnha, to get an answer for your question you only have to wait for the manga to explain it— or in some cases, check the spin-off. If the answer is not in bnha itself, it normally is in the Vigilantes manga.

When someone asks me "Hey Shan, do you think that is possible?" the correct answer is always yes, because as long as the story is not over anything can happen. Objectively speaking, yes, it is as possible as anything else. As long as you're alive a lightning strike can hit you. A shark can bite you. An alien can come for you. The odds are there.

Now, is it probable?

No, not much.

Turning Tomura into a child to erase his crimes and resolve Deku's role within the plot is not only the lazy route, but also a disservice to the story. People don't resurrect out of nowhere in bnha. Limbs don't grow again. This is a story where the consequences are permanent. Even saving Mirio had a cost. There are only a few characters that can magically heal and their participation is soo little, it's almost as if they weren't there.

Each story has rules. You don't care about the real life rules or your own law code or whatever; you care about the inner rules of that story.

So far, Horikoshi has taken care of not breaking the inner rules of bnha. Why would he do so now?

Another bnha trait is that it doesn't stay stagnant on a plotline that is interesting yet irrelevant to the main story. It also doesn't hurry the story if it needs to go down a certain path. It will happen on its own time, after the events that need to happen had happened too. Example: saving Tomura has been a whole process. If Horikoshi were to turn Tomura into a child, why would he show all that he has shown us?

That's 'cause Horikoshi is explaining Deku's choice of saving Tomura. I know the trend of separating Tomura from Tenko, but it's absurd. They are one and the same. The kid is the adult and vice versa. You save the kid version, you save the adult one too. In order to save the adult one, you need to save the kid first. And if you went all the way to save that person, why would you want to erase all of it and turn them into a child again?

Isn't the story about how Deku giving little Tenko a chance? Isn't the story about Deku telling others they can do the impossible? Didn't Nighteye say that Deku could change the future and now we see him also changing the past, if only to allow the present to be a little more bearable? Livable?

I'll say this here: the theory that dictates that the heroes will turn the villains into kids to save them and the villains will stay like that has absolutely no foundation within the story.

If it happens, it's bad writing.

Horikoshi uses the kid images as symbolism. It is meant to represent the core of a person. It's the part of them that would never change, the part of them that dictates their dreams and goals, what they hate and love, who they are. It's the most basic of their forms, their essence, their soul if you want to speak on those terms.

Heroes are meant to connect with those parts of a human in order to save them, because the job of a hero is not only saving the body, but the human as a whole. To preserve hope, to heal past wounds and give people a reason to smile. To help people laugh as a kid again, to bring back their wonder and their innocence, to fight the apathy and the cynical part of themselves.

Bnha is fantasy. People have powers. The dead can communicate with the living. Of course that the heroes can talk with the childhood versions of the people to heal their past traumas.

Easy as that.

I can't say for sure if the villains will live or die. I only have my opinion (they'll live), but I am not the author. Horikoshi can have an epiphany tomorrow and kill everyone in the story with a meteor. Idk.

I can only say that Horikoshi has presented a cohesive and coherent writing, one that follows the lines it dictates to their natural conclusion. If things stay like that, there's no need to fear none of the crazy theories circulating the fandom. At the end of the day that's all they are, theories.

[excaliburofficial]

Thoughts on the anime being better than the manga?

maybe this is a hot take but I dont really think one is better than the other tbh.

The anime overall has less character development (we get like none of Soul's backstory, Black*Star's arc feels really short in comparison to me, and Kid gets literally none of his arc at all) and the whole thing ending with Maka punching Asura in the face is a major L. The anime also doesn't resolve anything with the witches and it ends with the witches still just being like... evil. the status quo is still being completely upheld by the end of it. Like yeah they defeat the Kishin, but other than that everything in the world remains unchanged with no major impact other than everyone was just a little more crazy for a little bit.

I have a lot of things to say also about a couple of specific things that happen in the Soul Eater anime that don't in the manga beyond just that, but I think all of that is for a separate time because it's... a lot and ties more in with the kind of story I wish Soul Eater- anime and manga both- could have been instead of actually like comparing the anime and the manga and I'll get way out of hand if I go on about it lol

But there's things that I like in the anime better than the manga. Tbh I think the anime handled Crona way better and I actually really like what they had for them in the anime! I also really like Stein's whole thing in the anime (I don't know if I like it better than the manga though because it's been a while since I've read the manga and I don't remember Stein's arc in it that well). I also think overall, with all things considered, the anime does a pretty good job of working with what it had to wrap things up neatly even if I have issues with it, and if it didn't end with Maka just punching Asura in the face I think it would be more satisfying overall even if I think it could be better.

The manga has some really cool stuff in it, and I like the developments that we get. I really like Black*Star's arc in the manga, we get to see more things with Kim and Ox and Kilik and that whole gang which I really enjoy, and Kid's arc is like my favorite thing in the manga. I also like that we get to see that Asura is also Lord Death's son, I think it adds a lot of stakes. and I especially also like the treaty with the witches, and also Lord Death's uh... death. it really changes the story from being about upholding the status quo to being one where the world changes because of this conflict in major ways and leaves the world open ended to a lot of change and progression instead of just going back to a normal where an entire group of people (witches) are being hunted.

But with that being said, the more I think about it the more the manga leaves me just... wanting. Like I want it to be better. Liz, Patty, and Tsubaki don't get half the development I think they should have, and I think Crona's arc in the manga is garbage. I really would have preferred a more empowering arc of Crona doing the hard work of overcoming their trauma with Medusa and righting all of the wrongs of not just themself but their own mom in a way more similar to the anime and I think the story would have been stronger for it.

I also hate that the manga ends with a boob joke and it irritates me the more I think about it. Like, yeah, Soul Eater was always a shounen with fan service, but for that to be the note that it decides to end on just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like, Hey! We know we dialed down the horniness a lot in this story, so here's a really stupid bit about boobs to make up for it! Ugh it's exhausting

Very minor note also but the progression of the art style in Soul Eater like... idk if it disappoints me necessarily but I feel like it lost a lot of its edge. I still enjoy a lot of the art in the later chapters (its nothing like the art on the perfect editions don't even get me started on that) but in general it feels to me like Ohkubo's art went in a much more marketable direction and took a lot less risks in terms of style. But that's really here nor there and I'm not sure why I brought it up because it's not really a point of comparison for the anime because obviously any anime is going to have more consistent art direction than a manga but I brought it up so here's a whole paragraph about it i guess

TLDR: I think both have their merits and there's things that I like better in both that I wish the other did also Ohkubo should give me the rights to Soul Eater so I can remake it

[rantsandeepthoughts]

I have always had dreams, for as early as primary school, maybe 10 years old. Or even before that.

I've had ambitions. Which is normal I suppose, as a child. Ones ambitions usually centered around ones interests.

And once I learned more. Once I realise how animals were so varied, so many species and types, on land and in the sea. I loved to read up about them. I found them so fascinating. I wanted to be a veterinarian. Because that was the only job title I knew back then that had to do with working with animals. But really, i juet wanted to learn and read and know about all the different creatures that existed on this plante.

Another one was astronaut. I guess I wanted to go to space, coz i watched this show called "Twin Spica" about a space academy and how all the students eventually became space travellers, exploring space. I was young and didn't know any deep knowledge. I just thought the space, the stars against a black sky, was beautiful. Enrapturing.

My dream to be a vet was quickly shot down. Because dogs. And i remember pigs being mentioned by my paternal grandfather which didn't make much sense at all now that I've thought about it.

I remember my mum saying maybe, a marine vet then, but then by then I was reaching 12, and I couldn't swim and my parents by that point would never pay for swimming lessons. Finances was an ever existing issue by that point. (It just stuns me how financially illiterate they were, they always had been...)

Anyway. That dream was dashed out immediately.

My love for animals always remained. But as a goal to work towards, it stopped.

Being an astronaut was also soon cancelled. Coz. Well its a far fetched dream that one.

I remember my mum has this massive green tome on nursing. Maybe it was a book she had for school or work. And she'd now and then speak about it, things i can't remember, but it was said in a way that.. not that she was teaching it, not educational, but more along the lines of, "look at this massive book, its so important and great see, this massive green book about nursing." .... on hindsight. It was a look of smoke talk, just nonsense no substance puffed up empty air. But medical related matter had begun being planted in my head. And also the fact that we were helping out at that clinic. More so just so we could do something. Coz i remember being so mind numbingly bored during the school holidays because the parents never gave us anything engaging. It was just the TV. and all the Enid blyton books i had, had already been read.

I was not given constructive exposure. And neither did i have the drive to ask for it, for children are seen not heard and you don't ask anything. It was not allowed. And you don't seek anything, for it was not allowed to go anywhere.

What a waste of a young mind.

All because my parents didn't know better... they didn't know much of anything really. Not even about themselves and their own development. Nevermind that of a child.

.....

Having dreams never stopped for me though. My mind always entertained them.

I wanted to be a children's book author and illustrator.

A seiyuu, voice actor.

A manga writer with my friends whi would be the artists.

Then on a more realistic path, a pharmacy worker, and with 2 diplomas, i was confident this would be a job i would work in. It felt cool too, for the teen me .

It was only when I hit my first real, and repeated, rejections and failures after graduating from poly. Did I bite the bitter pill of being more realistic.

So. Lost. And depressed. Dejected. Penniless. Stressed.

2 years, I did what i could. With NO help at all from my parents.

I recall a job offer, clinic assistant i think, but my mum was dead set on me NOT accepting it. Kept dissing it. At the time, it was still, i was still in 100% mind controlled blind obedience puppet.

Thankfully, somehow, my friend helped, sharing some resources on how to get tutoring students to teach. I latched onto that, a job, income, something I learned on the job and got the hang of so i held onto it hard. I went with it. It was the only thing I had going.

I gave up on the job hunt after several consecutive rejections. My friend said, degree. University.

That was what everyone was doing at the time anyway.

I set university as my goal. But money , as ever, was a problem.

And because I was a puppet. Saving money was slow. Because I had taken on the financial responsibility of household utilities (i recall it was $250 and above) and my mom's phone bill and my own expenses fully.

I took that all on, because since forever, my parents had always always fought over money. And i always always thought, as it was ingrained in me, that I must help out, that I must give my parents money and help support the family. Even my very 1st jobs, when i was working so i had money to buy lunch at school, even then, my mother made me give a few tens to her and dad...

This money talk is making me upset.

In poly. My dad stopped giving me lunch money regularly within my 1st year. It more or less stopped by my 2nd year, coz i was working. I can't recall the details. But my mum would always fight with my dad about it.

It was $25 a week. 5 days of FULL day school. As a teen. $5 a day, a whole day. I headed off to school around 7 or 8am, and was only back at 6 or 7pm. And just $5. I rarely ate meals, coz if I did, that would be $3-4 on the meal.

So I'd often get the big chipsmore and a carton of milk, that's about $2-3. Oreo iceblend was about $1 and the popcorn chicken was also $1-2. Those were my staples. Cookies and milk for breakfast lunch. And if i was hungry otw back, oreo iceblended.

Very very often, my food budget for the whole day was that. $2-3. I'd pack peanut butter sandwiches often, and biscuits. But I'd hide to eat it most of the time coz, packing lunch was not cool as a teen.

.....

Anyway. Yeah. No money. That's why, i was dead set on graduating poly and getting a job immediately. Coz job means, have money.

I had no concept at all about, diploma vs degree and job opportunities and salary grade. I knew nothing of that. My parents never ever talked or educated about any of that.

....

My brain is drifting...

I'll stop.

[ranpoismyblorbo]

CHAPTER 97 BSD MANGA SPOILERS

Aight so I was talking with a friend about how the whole escape thing is gone play out and she said that most likely both Fyodor and Dazai will miraculously survive and I was just like "yes but WHAT IF THE COST IS SIGMA'S LIFE HUH-" and she literally asked wHaT aRe yOu suGgEStiNg" and so I started aggressively theorising and the "say aye" post was a trap cuz imma tag y'all in this now (btw im just copy pasting from whatsapp rn so yea)

We haven't seen too many major deaths yet (except ofc yk but like....not MANY ) And there is a full possibility someone else will also die and the impact of Sigma's death would be pretty big psychologically for the ADA specifically Atsushi me thinks (because he couldn't save him not once but twice😀)

And also if Dazai ends up using Sigma's life in some way it would cause a pretty huge rift I think between him and Atsushi and possibly the rest of the ADA like they will still listen to his plans because yeah but they will also be distant and that would most definitely affect Dazai more than he would show and I feel like if he lost his friends in the ADA because of any reason specially if it's his own doing then he would slowly but surely start regressing to a pre development aka Port Mafia Dazai-ish state and just yeah that would be bad

Plus if Fyodor PLANNED to have Sigma die at that particular time his plans would already be in disarray but the death wouldn't affect them as bad but if he assumed Nikolai would have survived and saved Sigma then he had a job for both of them and Sigma's loss will definitely make him need to reroute (although I fully believe he has like AT LEAST 15 contingency plans incase a team member dies but still) and if Dazai figures out which one it is, if it's the latter I fully believe he can and he will use Sigma to get out and sacrifice him in the process (I mean I love the guy but he's highkey evil when it comes down to high stakes stuff)

ALSO, his (Sigma's) ability is an important one for an organisation that makes all its plans and executes them on the basis of the information it gets because Fukuchi might be the head but we all know that Fyodor is the one actually making the plans yes?? And Fyodor is a literal genius but even he needs the information required before making any plans. So yeah if Fyodor DIDN'T plan for him to actually die and Dazai figures it out Sigma is highkey a dead man walking.

And just yeah while his active contribution to the plot right now isn't that much, him dying during the escape which leads to the other two surviving it would make his part much greater overall plus it would deal psychological damage to the characters (and possibly general working damage to Fyodor) plus it would be a bittersweet thing about him never having truly existed and stuff as well because I can definitely see Asagiri pulling that card on us just so we sob some more😀😭

Anyways so yea that's that it's just a theory though so👀👀

Anyways for the tags now: @glittercrashhh @boombboi @akuutaguava @panic-at-the-gender @fyo-door @chuuy-a @saintsprotecttheghoul @sword-dad-fukuzawa @yukiko-otaku @flower-of-darkness @galacticfairytheweeb @dusted-star @lillybet-the-overlord @ficharsimp @thebgcharacter

And ofc honourable mentions to the one who led to all of this with the initial convo: @fruitpunchsamurai16

[therefugeofbooks]

I read so many great books in December! It was a perfect ending for my reading year. 2021 was so good regarding reading, and I think I learned a lot about my own reading taste. Wishing everyone a fantastic reading year!

Talking about all the books I read in December under the cut.

In reading order:

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour (x) (x)

I didn’t know We are okay is set during Christmas time, but it was a nice coincidence to read it during the beginning of December. It’s a very emotional read, with shocking reveals about the past and complicated and interesting relationships. I think it’s such a well-written story about grief, but also full of found family!

Read if you want: stories about grief, difficult family relationships, family secrets, sad Christmas vibes (?)

The City Beautiful by Aden Polydoros

FANGS 01 by Billy Balibally

It was way more creative than I thought, and I loved the dynamic between the main characters! It was a fun and sweet read.

Read if you want: funny vampire stories, sweet bl mangas.

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske

I didn't know much about this book when I picked it up, but wow. I was amazed by the development of the main character's relationship. It's gradual and sweet and so wholesome! I think I still enjoy more the first half than the second, but it is still a fantastic book!

Read if you want: historical fantasy, mlm adult historical romance.

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee (x) (x)

Tash Hearts Tolstoy was a lighthearted and fun read! I loved the parts about internet fame and its dark side. But I also enjoyed a lot the ace rep! I relate to Tash in all her journey of self-discovery, her self-doubt, her trouble to talk about her sexuality, and even some of the terrible things she heard when she came out. It also discusses other serious topics such as cancer and family issues, but overall, it was more fun than I expected!

Read if you want: friendship stories, internet drama, friendship to lovers.

Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki

You know, maybe light sci-fi is my thing. This is another book that I went almost blind with zero expectations, and it blew my mind! If someone told me the story, I don't think it would work out, but it weirdly does! The characters are so vivid, and the relationships are so interesting! I love both the fantasy and sci-fi aspects, but the characters are the ones to shine!

Read if you want: light sci-fi, light fantasy, cursed musical instruments.

Maurice by E.M. Forster (x) (x)

I'm glad Maurice has a happy ending because I was expecting something like Giovanni's Room. Unlike the latter, I liked Maurice a bit more, but I can't say I loved this book. I enjoyed the character and relationships developments and Maurice's inner conflicts. However, the reading was rather unremarkable? It wasn't the year of classics for me!!

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

It is a beautiful book! But I have to confess that I'm not the target audience. I think people who enjoy war stories and alternate history will enjoy all the aspects of this book. For me, I enjoyed the first half and Zhu Chongba the most. I liked the characters' inner thoughts about gender and sexuality. However, I got lost in many political parts, and I wanted that all the book was in Zhu Chongba's point of view. Despite some of my complaints, it is still a great book!

Read if you want: alternate history, war stories, complex characters.

Unfit to Print by K. J. Charles

I think this is my first book by KJ Charles, and it was a pleasant surprise! I liked how p*rn*graphy was deal. And the second chance romance was sooooo good! Loved the characters! The mystery is also super engaging!

Read if you want: mlm adult historical romance, second chances, historical mysteries.

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

The main characters were so forward about what they desired and wanted that made the dynamic between them really unique. They were also so passionate about each other! I also loved the plot dealing with women in natural sciences!

Read if you want: wlw adult historical romance, women in STEM, lightheaded stories with almost no drama.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells

I read many things about this book, and people usually say that Murderbot is funny. The story didn't make me laugh, but Murderbot is very cute. And Murderbot's personality and relationship with the humans is rather wholesome.

Read if you want: character driven stories, funny narration with an interesting and quick sci-fi plot.

Yesterday Is History by Kosoko Jackson

It deals with some heavy topics, but it's a quick and fun read. I liked the time travel aspect, but I didn't like the romance as much. It was a bit rushed, and I couldn't believe the passionate declarations of love. And there's something about the ending that seems off to me...

Read if you want: time-travel stories, mlm ya romance.

Rereads:

Heartstopper, Volume One and Heartstopper, Volume Two by Alice Oseman

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (x) (x)

Disponível em PT:

Outsider Communication by Natsume Tsuno (x)

101 Poetas Paranaenses Vol. 1 org Ademir Demarchi

O Natal dos Fantasmas (x) (x) (x)

Read in: Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June | July |Aug | Sep | Out |Nov

☆Book Photography ☆ Storygraph ☆ Scribd ☆

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

[writing-fanics]

[ Mamoru x Fem!Reader ]

•Legend of the Forgotten Moon Princess•

[Part III] Mamoru and Y/n

a/n: in this chapter y/n and mamoru spend sometime together getting to know each-other a bit more...]

so complete of season one follows the manga the next part of the story will be season ii cause i really like that season.. but for the final battle im doing the show version with a twist at the end.... so im taking out the manga version of the reincarnation and having the tv show version instead since that one is more impactful and i like it more. 

[ Finding Sailor Jupiter ] 

[Y/n] was at the Crown Game Center, with Usagi, Ami, and Makoto. The new transfer student in Class 6,  [Y/n] watches Makoto play the Sailor V, game. 

"You sure you’ve never played this game before?” Usagi asks, Makoto.

”it’s the same as fighting in real life.” Makoto says, to her.

”you let the bad guy chase you so you can catch him off guard, then you hit him with your ultimate attack!” She says, as she plays the game.

”Ultimate attack!” Usagi says, in awe.

”Hi Usagi! Y/n! You’re here early today.” Ami says, as she walks towards them.

”Oh! Hi, Ami!” Both Y/n and, Usagi say. Looking towards her.

”Have you met the new girl yet? She just transferred into, Class 6 today.” Usagi says, to her.

“I’m Makoto Kino,” she says, looking over at Ami.

”I’m Ami Mizuno. I go to Juban, too. It’s so nice to meet you.” She says, to Makoto.

"Nice to meet you too." Makoto says, looking at the game. Then Motoki came over, "Hey Usagi! So are all the girls you're friends with cute." He says, and he looks and sees Makoto who turns her head and, looks at him. A blush spread across her cheeks, 

"Its...you." She says, quietly looking at him. Then the sound of game over interrupted them, she turned back towards the screen. 

"Oh! Nothing I thought you were someone else.." She says, looking back at them game.

[TIme-Skip] to bridal shop cause this bitch lazy.. 

"Well this is the bridal shop he was talking about." Ami says, as the girls look at it. 

"It's also the same one Naru went to." Usagi says, looking at it.

"Where's Mako?" She says, looking around and sees her looking up at the shop, with a blush spread across her face. She sees a dress and, looks at it. 

"So gorgeous. I wish I could wear a dress like that." Mako says, to herself.

As two girls pass by, "See thats the bridal shop." One girl says, pointing to it. 

"You mean that's the shop thats cursed?" the girl beside her asks. 

"That's right! Sometimes people see it! That ghost bride." [Y/n] says, looking at the shop.

"The mannequin on the balcony wanders around at night, trying to seduce the male-passers by Everybody! says so." She says, to them. 

"And if you buy a dress from the shop, you become cursed by the ghost bride. and spend your life in misery." She says, looking at the shop. 

"Whaa? Well, when I do get engaged, I'm not going to go there for a dress." Mako thinks, to herself. The girls, make their way towards Rei's. 

Rei looks at Makoto and, feeling a powerful presence from her. All the girls catch Rei up, on the bridal shop. 

"A cursed bridal shop? The ghost of a bride? Yes, it is suspicious." Rei says, to her friends.

"That groom who went missing...I wonder if he was seduced by that ghost bride?" Ami says, to herself. 

"If he was, he's got no-one to blame but himself for being lured in by a ghost." Rei says, her arms folded. Makoto then turn back towards the girls, 

"This is all too complex for me. I'm going home." Makoto says, to the girls then leaves. And, as she does Luna, jumps up onto Rei's, shoulder. 

"Luna.." Rei says, looking towards Makoto...

"Yes.." Luna says, as she looks up at Rei. 

"The day we're all assembled might be sooner than we think." Rei says, watching as Makoto walks away.. 

[Y/n] was fast asleep, in her bed when all of a sudden Tuxedo Mask, appears at her window. She gasps and, watches as he runs away. She rushes out of bed and, follows him. Atlas notices and, notifies everyone. 

"Ami-Chan, Rei-Chan, Usagi-Chan, Wake up! Tuxedo Mask is leading Y/n-Chan away!" Atlas shouts, into the watch..[Y/n] arrives at the Bridal Shop from before, and gasps seeing Makoto. Everyone else, arrives and transforms. Seeing the ghost bride, 

'Lunar Prism Power! Make-Up!' She shouts, as she transforms into Sailor Luna. And, everyone else into their own respective guardian. 

"Stealing the sacred form of the blushing bride and whispering of love! We wont stand for it!" Sailor Moon, shouts at the ghost bride.

"I'm the Sailor Guardian, Sailor Luna. Who fights for the stars and, the moon above." 

"I'm the pretty guardian sailor moon who fights for love, and for justice.." 

"And, I'm the Sailor Guardian Sailor Mercury." 

"And I'm, the Sailor Guardian Sailor Mars.." 

"And we'll punish you" 

They say..

"You were controlling and tricking people?" Makoto says, looking at the ghost bride. 

"You mean you were serious damn it.." She says, as a symbol appears on her forehead. 

"I'll let you know about a woman's pure feelings with raw strength." She says, picking up the ghost bride, then she suddenly transforms into Sailor Jupiter. 

"Flower Hurricane!" She shouts, as a flower hurricane appears. "Jupiter, the planet I guard, bring a storm!! And down your thunder!" She shouts, at Nephrite. 

"Jupiter Thunder-bolt!" She shouts, as a thunderbolt strikes Nephrite killing him...Makoto falls to the ground, and all the girls run towards her to see if she's okay and, she was. And, Luna tells her that she's Sailor Jupiter..

- sorry for it being terrible and short i was using the manga' 

[ time skip ] y/n's off doing her own thing she has work to do..

[Y/n] sighed, as she looked at the papers scattered on her desk. [Y/n] wrote down stuff, from her textbook down onto the paper. She looks down and, groans. She barely got any sleep last night, since she was up all night just, working on this and, was tired really tired. 

She sighs and, decides to take a break. She makes some coffee and, decides to go out for a walk. Not knowing about what was happening outside, after walking for about ten minutes, she began to feel dizzy.

'My head is all fuzzy and, my strength is going... ugh what's going on?' She says and, she begins to fall to the ground. 

'Must be the work of the enemy..' She thinks, as she falls to the ground. 

Mamoru rounds the corner and, sees [Y/n] lying on the ground unconscious. He runs towards her, quickly checking for a pulse. He brings his hand to her cheek, "Hey! Snap out of it." He says, to her. And, she stirs awake looking him in the eyes, but seeing Tuxedo Mask. 

"Tuxedo Mask!" She says, in amazement looking at him. 

"What are you doing here?" She asks, as her cheeks turn red.

"My bad judgement and actions brought us to this point." He says, to her and, she looks at him in shock. 

"Tuxedo Mask! So this whole situation was your.... You did it are you actually?" She asks, worried. 

"No, I'm not! I didn't mean for this to happen! I wanted to find the Legendary Silver Crystal no matter the cost. But I didn't have any information to work on!" He says, looking at her.

"And I don't have powers like you do!" He says, to her. And she gasps, 

"You must transform into Sailor Luna! I can't do anything about this situation myself at this point." He says, and, she gasps once more. 

"Y-You know I'm Sailor Luna.. Just who in the world are you?" She asks, looking him in the eyes. 

"You're the only one who can come to the rescue." He says, to her. And she looks him, in the eyes. Those familiar eyes, that would seem that she sees everymorning. 

[Y/n] stands up and, places her hands on her brooch. 

'Lunar Prism Power Make-Up!' 

[Y/n] then makes, her way to where everyone else, was...She gasps, seeing so many people, lying on the ground she didn't know if they were dead or just unconscious. Even though she's seen stuff from the enemy, nothing to this extent. She was scared nervous, what if she couldn't bring anyone back... 

But then she felt a pair of arms wrap around her, "Snap out of it Sailor Luna! I know you can do it." Tuxedo Mask, said to her as tears ran down her cheeks. Then a stick appeared and, it was in the shape of a star. She takes it in her hands, "Please! Take everybody.. and give them back their lives! Please!" She shouts, holding the stick.. 

And, after she did and, everyone was waking up. She suddenly felt sleepy and, went limp. "Sailor Luna?" He says, grabbing hold of her, before she hit the ground. 

"You used too much power?" He says, looking down at her. A smile, spread across his face as he looks at her. He tucks, a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"But well done.. Sailor Luna." He says, to her as he picks her up bridal style. 

'What is this?' 

"This familiar warmth..' 

"It's as if this warmth is giving me back my energy'

As he places her on the his bed, he looks at her. She seemed so at peace, even though using up so much power and energy during that fight. 

[Time-Skip] 

[Y/n] woke up, in an unfamiliar place. She looked around, she was lying in someone else's bed. 'Where.. am I?" she says, as she looks around. She looks down and, sees a pocket watch. She looks at it and, sees that it has the phases of the moon on it. 

"So you're awake?" Mamoru says, as he looks over at [Y/n] who looks, over at him. Then she looks at the suit he was wearing, 

"Why are you Tuxedo Mask...?" She asks, looking at him. 

"It's for my memory. That's why I have to get my hands on the Legendary Silver Crystal." He says, to her and, she looks at him.

"Your memory?" She asks, looking into his eyes. 

"I lost my parents, on my sixth birthday. There was a car accident and, I lost both of my parents. And, I forgot who I was." He says and, [Y/n] gasps tears running down her cheeks. 

"And, I started having the same dream over and over. Find the Legendary Silver Crystal.. Just that phase. time and time again in my dreams." He says and, she looks at him. 

"And before I knew it... I was stealing through the city at night like some strange sleep-walker! Wearing a tuxedo like some phantom thief." He says, 

"The only clue to my past, are the word find the legendary silver crystal." He says, 

"What about you?" He asks and, she blushes looking down. 

"Um... Well it isn't so quite defined Atlas told me to find it alongside Sailor Moon, and protect it, so.." She says, blushing. 

"I see." He says and, she looks at him curiosly. 

[Y/n] brought the mask closer to his face, placing it over his eyes. She should've known, that all to familiar voice that she heard, every morning. Those all to familiar eyes she'd, get lost in. Even though she only lives a few doors down the hall. This moment in time between them felt like, they've met this way before but in different circumstances. But at this moment, if time were to stop she wouldn't mind at all. 

She looked down nervously, her heart racing. "A-Atlas is waiting for me. I... have to go home." She says, turning to leave but stops, when Mamoru place his hand, on her shoulder. Her heart pounding against her chest, "N/n." He says, and she turns around to look at him. 

A blush spread across her face, "N/n. Your bag." He says, and she nervously takes it from him. Covering her face with it, as her face turned bright red. She walks towards the door, and leaves. 

'...He called me "N/n" That's who he said.' She says, thinking to herself as she walks down the hallway to her apartment, her heart racing as she thinks of him. 

'Maybe I could call him "Since he's Mamoru, maybe I can call him Mamo-Chan.' She thinks, stopping outside her door. She reaches, into her pocket. And pulls out Mamoru's broken pocket watch, 

'I brought it with me... his broken pocket watch.' she stares at it, bringing it to her lips and kissing it. This all too familiar warmth returning once more, but stronger than ever before. [Y/n] has never fallen in love before, but this moment was completely different, she feels like she already knows him. 

He's opened up to her, he trusts her enough to tell her why he's going after the Legendary Silver Crystal. That moment, between them just moments ago. Felt as if they were in a fairy tale, as if they were two lovers. Finding out each-other's secret identities,  a fairy tale she wanted to be in. 

She never thought she'd fall in love so quickly, but it doesn't feel wrong. Not one bit, for to her it feels like she's falling in love with him all over again. As if she knew him from as past life. She looked up, hearing that voice once more. 

'You're my one and only love.' 

She walked into her apartment and, sighed as she thought of Mamoru. She brought her hand up to her face, her face bright red. A smile spread across her face, as she looked at the broken pocket watch. She held it close to her chest, holding it over her heart. 

'Is this what being in love is like?' 

{ Chapter Four } Princess Serenity and Princess Y/n  Sneak Peek

And how Mamoru noticed, how shaken and scared she was. When they tried to talk to her, [Y/n]'s face turns red, as she feels Mamoru's hand on hers. "Are you okay?" He asks, and she looks down, then at him. Her heart racing, pounding against her chest. "Yeah, I'm fine Mamo. Just seeing them, after all those years startled me." She says, looking up at him, smiling. 

They close the gap between them, their lips touching. [Y/n]'s hand places her hands, on Mamoru's chest. This kiss between them, felt magical familiar as if, out of a fairy tale. Mamoru places his hands, on her waist. She didn't want, this moment between them to stop. 

He weakly brings his hands up, looking at [Y/n] who looked down at him worried, tears in her eyes. 'I remember now, I came back to be with you again. I found you, Y/n." He says, his hand going limp.

"My...Star." He says, and [Y/n] looks down at him in shock, tears streaming down her cheeks. [Y/n] shakes her head, and screams in anguish. As she wraps her arms around Mamoru, tears streaming down her cheeks.