#also i feel the need to say this bc I’ve noticed some stuff within the fandom as of late | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queenimmadolla · 1 year

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Ok not to kick this up again, but a few of the people that rbed your post/ask answer about how it’s not just about the art/fics white people create, but also poc artists need to step up and draw poc people, are white people/white artists and i really can’t help but feel some type of way about it. Esp bc they didn’t like or rb your other posts speaking up about racism FROM white creators in this fandom AND some had also recently supported a friend of theirs that had attacked a poc person after they pointed out how white centric this fandom is. This is the type of coded behavior in this fandom that makes me so uncomfortable. I see what people support and don’t support. Like ma’am you won’t rb posts about racism and inclusion that’s addressing the white people like yourself but you’ll rb a post saying poc people in this fandom need to do better to make it inclusive? I see you. And this isn’t at ALL about what you said, I understand your point entirely, it’s about THEM and how they move.

What you said does have validity to it and I think itss something that should be addressed, though I am gonna hit more on things I’ve noticed, because there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes. As in interactions with my account people think I don’t see because they try to undo it quickly or hope I don’t notice.

Also, if you’re referring to the stuff that happened the week before last, it was amongst two POCs. Both are people of color which is why I stressed in my previous heavy hitter that we have to try understanding each others’—once again talking about within the POC demographic—viewpoints and where we’re coming from because it was a misunderstanding that seemed to spiral. Most of it occurred when I was not active on tumblr, so I can’t say much about it, but I do think that needs to be cleared up, because it wasn’t a white creator attacking a POC person. Misunderstanding. I’m not ignorant enough to say all POCs get along in the world, but people seemed to think it was a white person vs POC and that’s not the case. Onto the rest of it:

I noticed a couple people liking and then unliking my posts about the racial issues, though my last post received more engagement. I’m happy my point was made, because it is a serious issue within the POC community but so is the blatant racism and ignorance (as in actively ignoring it) when I talk about white creators purposely excluding people of color, and this is obviously not just amongst POCs.

It didn’t get a lot of reblogs or traction, but it got more than those other posts (this one will also follow in the lack of interaction), and POC readers see that. We see everyone agreeing with that point, being like YES!! POCs need to be more involved if they want representation, preach!! and then we see even more people being like OOP, she’s talking about white creators needing to not exclude people of color? Let me pretend I didn’t see it, scrolllll. Or even unfollow (which yes, I notice)💀

if you can reblog me saying not to hate on artists for drawing themselves in their fanart as the race they are, then you can easily reblog me telling white creators not to intentionally leave POC out of something that is meant to be a Reader (as in ANYONE reading it, including people of color) insert. same applies to other white creators who speak up about it, I notice their other posts get interacted with a lot more than the one in which they speak about the issue. and clearly, I’m not the only one who notices. it’s telling.

I’m not implicating everyone who reblogged that post, I’m aware some of you didn’t even follow me until then and some of you did reblog my other posts and some of you simply agreed with my point right then (I’m talking to the POCs specifically with that last post—that wasn’t a Dear White People post, it was to other POCs, but again, that got more interaction than anytime I address white creators—and yes, I am aware it’s not all of you—which shouldn’t be the case given how the majority of the fandom is white).

if this post makes you feel guilty, makes you wanna scroll past it and not think about how you wanna stay mum on the subject, you may want to think about why and how privileged you are to even be able to do so in the first place. we should all feel welcome here and there’s always a chance to right our wrongs (or in this case write our wrongs, heh :D ) 🩵

your POC friends and followers see you. they know what you’re doing. they do talk about it amongst each other, where they feel safe. don’t exclude them and let them down. make them feel safe with you. let them know they are. we don’t expect you to write black!reader, or Latinx!Reader, etc. because you’re not part of our groups so you can’t accurately depict us. we just want to read about reader. and not how they can’t step outside without getting a sunburn or tanning their pale skin. if you don’t wanna reblog my long ass posts then do something else. a simple “hey POC followers, you’re safe here” is a good start.

if for some reason, we’re not safe on your blog so you can’t say it, that’s uh, that’s real unfortunate. but also, maybe let everyone know that.

And to my friends who make sure their work is inclusive, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MY BELOVED FRIENDS, thanks for letting me and a ton of other people who are scared and scarred from previous interactions over the years see ourselves in your fics 🥹❤️‍🔥

#$ replies #black!reader #poc!reader #que que

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menalez · 9 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/youturningintodust/735765266414387200/yes-this-is-rape-culture-done-by-women-well?source=share

invert in op's bio

honestly the invert stuff is whatever to me bc i guess she’s a gnc lesbian so it’s like.. that was what they were called back then. if she feels it’s more succinct and fitting than terms nowadays, that’s fine, her choice. as a term it’s tied to homophobic ideology but i cant assume that’s her point in using it.

i personally don’t like the strap fixation online or in lesbian spaces, because it has made me & many other lesbians feel like weirdos tbh like. we feel like there’s sth wrong with us for NOT liking that but i guess she’s speaking from a diff perspective here, so that’s fine too.

i disagree with framing it as “butch/femme sex” & i dislike the assumption that there being a masc & a feminine woman within the same relationship means we’re having sex a certain way. it’s rly not like that and it sucks when ppl assume that butches can’t possibly enjoy reciprocal sex and only want to give instead of receive any sex acts. or, perhaps less damaging imo, that feminine women only want to receive and not give. it’s just… not the case. how we present to the world doesn’t say much about how we have sex.

the idea that not liking the fixation with strap that can be found in many spaces for women into women is tied to the idea that u need to “use your vagina (penetratively)” is also odd to me. there’s definitely lesbians who don’t enjoy receiving any penetration but enjoy receiving oral for example, or clit stimulation, or some form of rubbing like tribbing or scissoring or w/e else. idk why theres this assumption that it’s either u wear the strap or u get penetrated?? like. it’s not that rare for lesbians to not enjoy or want penetration, actually. maybe its rare to never want any form of penetration, but that’s also not that rare nor is it limited to butches??

but yeah if someone expresses only wanting sex in one way, to guilt trip them in any way or shame them in any way for not wanting to have sex the way YOU approve of is rapey and gross. she’s right about that.

idk why she’s acting like topping being “alien” to lesbians is normal tho…most of us enjoy reciprocal sex, meaning we are mostly vers. if a woman acted like topping is a totally weird thing to do, i reckon most women would not be compatible with her.

again rly hate the equating of female masculinity with being a stone top! she means stone butches, she should say that. it’s more common among butches, but it’s neither exclusive to butches to only want to have the type of sex she describes nor do all butches fit that standard either.

i’m sure what she describes exists but honestly the phenomena i’ve noticed more often is the opposite where people expect butches to not want to be penetrated or not want to have sex acts done onto them… i agree w her ppl who feel entitled to do that to butches are awful tho.

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activated-pen · 1 year

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hi i’m gonna post rambles about a book series nobody knows maybe. i came across it while reading an anthology called fell beasts and fair. idk if anyone will read this and i don’t care but i need to get out something in my brain. i have a degree in fiction writing or something idk

i don’t think anything’s really inspired me to sit down and think about stuff like this in a while but i read a book of queer essays before the anthology (queer reflections on horror) and i guess ive been in “alternate analysis” mode

but anyways when it comes to fae there’s always something to be said about neurodivergancy

i think, as a nonbinary autistic person, there’s something distinctly fascinating about the city between series and pet. i'd initially gone "omg this must be some it/its nonbinary child" (the anthology short story is narrated by a leprechaun who doesn’t know pet’s gender and constantly thinks of “it” though there’s actually a typo that calls pet “she” in narration once that i noticed because i was laser focused) bc there was only one use of pronouns and it seemed to be corrected back to it/its. like, i thought pet was an it/its human that happened to be correctly gendered bc the leprechaun didn’t apply a gender to her

and then i still didn't quite get it until a good way into the first book that pet was probably a she/her because athelas called her she mistakenly. as far as i recall, pet never calls herself a girl.

even tho ive only read one short story and the first book so far (gonna read more once i’m paid for freelance stuff,) i’ve felt like there’s a strong lack of an Image of pet. like yeah she’s narrating but also she carries the story and her weight based on her personality, voice, and narration, it feels a lot like you’re looking into the world through this narrator. she doesn’t really seem to react much to being called it besides mild annoyance at the confusion rhe first time, mostly it's annoying that they keep trying to pretend they don't like her

but like (within the context of the first book n stuff) pet is talked about so little and has existed by her/itself for so long, unnoticed and hidden, that it feels like she/it truly lacks a personhood and has for a Long Time. like it’s already noted that nobody knew she existed. she may well not exist, but of course she does, she’s got such a hyperactive and involved personality and is brave and kind.

and only the people who seem to recognize that about her actually seem to talk to her as a Person. even though she’s ostensibly dehumanized by fae that are detached from the concept of humanity, they also award her more humanity and recognize her individuality and personality more than anyone has in SO long, bc she’s been hiding and not really interacting with people outside of work.

there’s some trans metaphor i can see in there, that’s all i’m saying, but also something about adhd + autism and masking

i feel like she/it isn’t too bothered by going by pet because she hasn’t really gone by a name besides “you” for so long and just no longer has interest in pretty much anything human of that sort. she also takes quickly (and in a somewhat silly way) to this “role” because she’s not really been given a role in so long. i don’t think pet knows how to be a person or human, and doesn’t CARE to understand a right or wrong way of doing anything, she just is and only begins to exist around the freak squad. (i keep thinking of her as it/they)

i feel like i could write a whole thing about the comparisons between neurodivergant (ESPECIALLY autistic) people and fae, and the idea of autistic people forcing themselves to mask and pretend. and then also how trans people often have to hide who we are and only be ourselves in private, or how sometimes there’s a uniquely isolating experience about being trans and nonbinary and feeling disconnected from other people, even other trans people sometimes, because it’s hard to be Seen when you’re nonbinary

anyways pet is autistic and nonbinary (she/it/they/maybe just doesn’t care) and i’d hazard a guess at bi and/or ace if i wanna keep pushing the disconnect from others angle.

#the city between

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idkhowtopickausername · 1 year

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🔥 the locked tomb?

I typed out an answer to this earlier today and then somehow deleted all of it and didn’t get around to retyping it until now 😅

I’ve actually been meaning to ask what your thoughts are about it (if you have any you care to share) since I know you finished it recently and I’m trying to sort out my own thoughts.

Putting a read more bc I’m very long-winded

Overall I definitely enjoyed it and I think it’s a very fun and creative story that gives you a lot to think about and I like how each book sort of tries something new in regards to narrative structure/perspective. It definitely doesn’t feel formulaic or predictable which I appreciate. I think it’s really interesting how the cavalier/necromancer system is it’s own fictional oppressive system that people get indoctrinated into and that is used as a tool for control by the empire, and how it connects to stuff like gender roles and class and various forms of exploitation but doesn’t replace or directly mimic any of those things. I think it also ties into a lot of themes about like identity and belonging and social coercion and bodily autonomy in relationship to trauma, and it really gives you a lot to think about and analyze, especially in relation to the very prevalent theme of religion/Christianity.

I think it’s really interesting how Gideon and Harrow’s relationship ties into those themes, and I’m very curious to see how it will play out and how the power imbalance and dynamic between them will be dealt with, since it’s intertwined with the social system they exist within and I think the dissolution of that system will be mirrored by whatever happens between them (I love romances like that where the relationship is tied to breaking out of certain social roles or systems that the characters exist within if you haven’t noticed lol). I wish people confronted that a bit more in fan content and didn’t just take for granted the idea of Gideon being super forgiving and self-sacrificing and Harrow being super guilt-ridden—I think that’s just one stage of what will hopefully be a much more complex and nuanced arc of development for their relationship. I also don’t think the perfect lyctorhood thing is going to be some magic fix either in their relationship or in the empire as a whole, I think a greater and more tangible confrontation of the brutality of the system and how it’s been internalized by the characters and integrated into society will be necessary, and things will need to be completely altered in a more fundamental way.

All that being said, there are a few things I don’t care for about the books. I didn’t really care for the meme references (sorry, they really took me out of it), and I don’t know how to say this without sounding corny but I thought that it’s approach to humor and describing the characters could sometimes be a bit unnecessarily judgemental and it kind of lacked a certain air of openness and compassion in its approach to storytelling that is usually an important characteristic of SFF I really love. I really like the ideas at play and I think it can be emotional and insightful but it’s overall philosophy/mode of storytelling doesn’t really resonate with me or move me as much as other stuff has, and at times the prose and descriptions felt a bit empty to me as a result. Also, while I liked the change of setting and pace in Nona the Ninth and I think it was definitely a good choice to focus more on Blood of Eden and the society of people who’ve been displaced by the empire, I wish those topics had been delved into a bit more and that storyline felt a bit lacking to me in ways that I can’t quite put my finger on. Anyway that was just a very long summary of all my thoughts, which honestly shift around a fair amount and I kind of go back and forth about how much I like various facets of the story. I’d be really curious to hear your thoughts (or anyone else’s) though because I think it’s a very interesting story to discuss.

#this is less of an unpopular opinion and more just a summary of my thoughts #some of which may or may not be unpopular opinions depending on who you’re talking to #ask

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mumblesplash · 3 years

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wait what's your dick characterization then? in a pervious ask you mentioned you had a pretty concrete perception of dick... do you mind sharing?

oh not at all, although it’s kinda hard for me to figure out how to put stuff like this into words so apologies in advance if this gets a little all over the place

this might be a bit of a weird place to start but given that i’m an artist i have an easier time thinking in terms of visuals, so first off: when i think ‘dick grayson’ i’m almost always referring to nightwing, but i consider ‘used to be robin’ such an integral part of his character that it informs a significant chunk of his design. like i usually draw his hair neatly cropped and parted symmetrically down the middle, reminiscent of but not exactly the same as this kind of hairstyle:

which is kinda funny considering when i do draw him as robin i just have his hair sticking up all over the place, but in my defense i think he’s too young to care about his hair here

it’s not all about surface level looks though, i see even modern nightwing dick as evoking the general vibe of golden age comics, if more in idealism than aesthetics. he’s got kind of a boy scout thing going on, and it feeds into his approach to vigilantism more than anything else. that’s part of why, if you’re prone to noticing these sorts of things, i always draw him as having better posture and more dramatic body language in costume than in civvies

might be as good a time as any to bring up that i think dick is a standout case among all the bats concerning his secret identity — i think nightwing and dick grayson are distinct aspects of his personality, but they are both equally Him. to contrast—there’s an argument to be had as to whether or not batman is the ‘real’ bruce, at the very least his two identities seem starkly separated from each other, i don’t see cass as being meaningfully distinct from black bat/orphan(?) at all, to jason red hood is a symbol and a statement and a threat, to damian robin is a legacy, etc. dick grayson and nightwing are just different genuine pieces of the same person.

as for more specific personality stuff, despite the Classic Superhero streak i think dick is ultimately more devoted to people than any kind of moral code. so like for instance the fact that he follows the no-kill rule has much more to do with loyalty to bruce than his own ideals. i don’t think he *wants* to kill in general (more than anything else i see dick grayson as just a deeply, profoundly Good person. not to say he’s perfect or can’t make mistakes, but in my more melodramatic moments i’d just outright say his real superpower is having the strongest moral compass in the entire dc universe) but his strict adherence to that rule isn’t due to personal conviction or some kind of necessary self-control

on an interpersonal level (and i’m keeping this within the batfam bc 1) limited knowledge and 2) this is already getting long) i’ve mentioned before i think he’s got a serious case of eldest daughter syndrome, but unlike most such cases he’s actually pretty well equipped for dealing with it. to an extent. he takes on responsibility almost automatically, and has an impressive capacity for managing people and anticipating what they need (emotionally or otherwise). combined with his experience leading a team, his training, and being a naturally gifted strategist, he has a hard time justifying looking the other way when his family needs him. unfortunately he’s also one of those people who keeps operating at peak performance right up until the second he falls apart entirely, and he’s much more cognizant of his physical limits than his emotional ones.

(relatedly but kind of a side note, i have a whole Thing about his relationship with damian i’m very in my feelings about it don’t look at me)

imo the fanon idea of him as The Fun One or the emotional one is wildly oversimplified and downplays his competence, but there’s a little bit of truth to it, in that a lot about dick grayson flies directly in the face of the darkness he’s surrounded by. tbh if i had my way he would always be written specifically as a slap in the face to anyone who sees kindness as naive, but i understand that my desire to weaponize fiction in response to things i find mildly irritating is “unsustainable” and “you can’t just do literally everything out of spite” or whatever

but also lowkey i think my joke character summary for him from way back in like january when i knew almost nothing abt dc and was p much just poking fun at the fandom still kinda hits

#splashasks #anonymous #long post #dick grayson #feel free to ask clarifying questions i can and will keep going about this #also WOW it’s so much harder to put my thoughts into words than art #i will admit i had a moment after receiving this ask where i was like ‘can you not tell from how i draw him’#before realizing that is insane

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heniareth · 3 years

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I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

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thelargefrye · 3 years

Text

YEARNING FOR YOU. kang yeosang (18+)

── summary. you’re just within reach and yet every time he tries to get to you, you vanish right before his eyes... again and again and again.

── roles. mage!yeosang + mage!f!reader (ft. poly!mage!ateez & other idols)

── genre. smut + one-shot + mages + magic shop + supernatural + mythology + historical to modern day + romance + eventual poly relationship + angst + drama + reincarnation (most of these are for the overall story not necessarily this one-shot)

── word count. 3.3k

── warnings. nightmares + language + sub!yeosang & dom!reader + kissing + little hair pulling + one moment of spanking + anal fingering + handjob + degrading + amazon position + y/n is mentioned to have tattoos

── developer’s note. happy birthday @atiny-piratequeen !! this is just a small something that i’m working on that’s inspired by against the tide !! i figured that since i probably might not get the whole story done by your birthday bc i’ve already been working on it for two weeks and i’m only still doing world and backstory building rip then i would just share a small piece that included yeosang. i’m still working on characters and personalities so anything you read here is subject to change by the time i get the first official chapter out.

when the door to the shop chimed, yeosang didn’t bother looking up from his book he was reading. he knew that usually customers – humans at least – would just look around before leaving or come up to mindlessly flirt with him. it was the same thing every time the bell dinged.

he could hear the customer’s shoes, heels to be exact, softly thudding across the old wooden floors as they strolled around the small shop. his hearing could pick up where exactly in the shop they were, so when they finally started nearing the back to where he and register were, he assumed this customer just wanted to flirt with him like always.

“um, excuse me,” yeosang’s head shot up immediately at the sound of the familiar voice. you stood in front of him also with a look of shock from how quickly yeosang moved and his eyes flickered down to the canvas in your arms.

“o-oh, um, hi. how can i... how can i help you,” yeosang says as he tries his best to relax, but honestly he doesn’t think he can, not when you’re here in front of him and talking to him.

you smile softly at him before handing over the canvas you had in your hands, “this is the painting hongjoong asked me to paint. he told me i could find him and the rest of you here. is he, um, is he here by any chance?”

“huh? oh, yeah is he, let me go get him!” yeosang had never moved so fast before as he practically jumped off his stool and ran to the back to get the group’s leader and tell him you’re here.

“y/n’s here!” yeosang says probably a bit too loudly and maybe just a little too excitedly but he hasn’t seen you in centuries. he has a right to be happy to see his missing lover.

hongjoong isn’t by himself in the back, all the others are basically here too, except for jongho and san who had gone out to get information on how to help you remember your first life.

“she is? why?” mingi asks, a look of shock drawn on his face knowing you’re here just in the other room.

“she brought the painting hongjoong asked her to paint,” yeosang says and hongjoong is quick to go to the front and yeosang picks up on how hongjoong greets you with a cheery tone.

at first yeosang thinks about staying in the back and letting you and hongjoong talk for a moment, but his need to see you again overcomes that he heads back to the front of the shop. he hears the others coming up behind him as he does and he figures the others couldn’t wait either.

a wave of memories washes over him as he sees you and hongjoong interacting so closely. all the times he would see you and hongjoong interacting on the utopia, all the lingering stares and touches you thought no one else saw, but in reality everyone saw.

he misses you. they all miss you.

“wow, y/n, this is beautiful,” hongjoong can’t take his eyes off the painting you gave him and you have a proud look on your face as your eyes flicker between the male and the painting before you slowly look up and over at where him and the others are.

“oh, i didn’t know you all worked here as well!” you say and greeted them all with a smile.

“i actually own this shop,” hongjoong says and you turn to look at him in shock. “my grandmother ran this shop before passing it down to me before she retired.” yeosang couldn’t help but slightly snicker at how hongjoong called hyuna a grandmother.

“really? that’s so cool! i had actually never been in this shop before until today,” you offhandedly as you glance around the shop some more. “oh!” you say catching the six males off guard as they watched you dig through your bag before pulling out eight envelopes. “siyeon is throwing a party and wants me to invite you all!” you say handing each other an invitation before giving jongho and san’s to wooyoung. “i hope you all can make it!”

“of course! we’ll do our best to be there,” hongjoong says, but yeosang knows that all eight of them are definitely going especially since you’re going to be there. “also, thank you again for the painting, it really is beautiful.”

“oh, of course! i’m glad you like it, i always enjoy painting sea related stuff, so this was a blast to paint,” you explain with a small laugh. “well, i should be going! i promised siyeon i would help her with party decisions, so... i’ll see you all around,” you say bidding the males goodbye before turning on your heels and leaving the shop.

yeah, yeosang and the other are gonna have to work fast.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

sometimes when yeosang misses you, he’ll find himself remembering the time when you all were together on the utopia. he’ll remember how you use to help him in the kitchen, acting as both a hand and taste-tester to him.

all the heated gazes the two of you shared being the reason for his flushed face that he would blame on the heat in the kitchen when the others would question him. although he was sure the others didn’t believe because his magic dealt with fire, so some kitchen heat was nothing for him.

but no matter what the same thought still comes to him. he just misses you. he thinks that over and over again until he falls asleep and you appear in his dreams.

it’s silly he knows it, mainly using his magic in order to ensure that you appear to him. he has sweet dreams when you are with him and others all enjoying your time together; however, the moment he remembers that none of it is real and that you are living a completely different life without remembering them, without remembering him. it all turns into a nightmare.

and its always the same. the same day he and the others are forced to remember and sometimes relive again and again for centuries.

“yeosang, wake up!”

his eyes snap open and he feels hot, his bangs matted to his forehead with sweat and his eyes are immediately trying to get used to the darkness of his bedroom.

that voice... he thinks as he brings his hands up to cover his face. huh? was he crying?

“yeosang,” he hears it again and sounds so close to him. right next to him and he feels like he’s still dreaming. but he turns his head and his brown orbs meet your own worried eyes as you sit next to him in his bed.

“y/n...?” he reaches out to touch your cheek, his hands caressing your face and he gasps when he realizes you’re real and next to him.

“why are you crying, love?” you ask him watching as he sits up. you reach over to brush his tears away before he suddenly takes you in his arms. “did you have a bad dream, yeo?”

yeosang doesn’t trust his words so he just nods his head as he nuzzles his head into your neck. “it’s okay,” you say softly, rubbing his back in comfort, “i’m here and nothings going to happen while i’m here. i promise.”

yeosang has heard you say those words before and it only makes him cry harder. you said that to him the first time you woke him up from a nightmare. you would always take him into your arms and hold him and wipe away his tears and tell him it’s okay and it’s all in the past.

when yeosang does finally calm down, tears no longer running down his face, he slowly pulls away from you to lay back down. you lay down right next to him, pulling the blanket up to your chins as you brush hair away from his face.

“i love you,” he says as he feels himself slowly falling back to sleep. you smile sadly at him, a hand still running through his hair as his eyes finally close.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

seonghwa was jealous, yeosang was 100% sure of that. the ice mage’s glare could probably set someone ablaze if he had fire magic instead. and honestly, yeosang doesn’t blame his boyfriend for being jealous because he was as well.

“and who the hell is that?” wooyoung was the one who spoke up, shocked like seonghwa and himself at the sight of you talking to this unknown male.

well, unknown to them at least. you seemed to be pretty close to the male, too close if yeosang or any of the others could say anything.

“do you think they’re...” mingi didn’t want to say it out loud, probably knowing how much chaos he would cause among them if he did.

yeosang wanted to be upset. upset at you for potentially going and falling in love with someone that isn’t them, but he couldn’t. he couldn’t be upset at you because this you, the one standing not too far from him and his seven lovers, this you isn’t the same you he met all those centuries ago.

you don’t remember the love you shared and it broke yeosang’s heart.

his eyes flickered over to seonghwa noticing the furrow in his eyebrows before he looks over to hongjoong who is just staring at you with sadness. then his eyes go back to you and this male who are sitting closely next to each other. the guy looks at you with such a softness that it reminds the fire mage of how seonghwa looks at all of them, with love.

the male plays with the ends of your hair, running it over your face in a teasing manner that makes you laugh and yeosang would be lying if he said your laugh didn’t make his heart flutter.

yeosang misses you.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

yeosang can’t help but sigh as soon as his body hit his bedsheets. he felt clean and relaxed after a long day of working in the shop below them and dealing with both humans and supernatural creatures alike.

while he was staring up at the ceiling, he closed his eyes and started to doze off. he’s not sure for how long his eyes were closed, but he only opens them when he feels his bed dip.

looking over he was greeted by the sight of you in little to no clothing and a warm smile on your face.

“y/n, what are you doing?” yeosang was more than surprised to see you in his room. he was quick to sit up with a shocked expression as he moved so he was sitting right across from you.

“what do you mean, yeo? i’m visiting you of course!” you say cheerfully.

yeosang looked over you and he noticed the familiar tattoos that decorated your right arm. “you’re not real, are you?” he asked as he bowed his head so you couldn’t see his face.

one of your fingers reached under to tilt his chin up and you looked at him with a gaze, “i’m as real as you want me to be,” you say with a smile as you leaned over and kissed him.

yeosang immediately allowed you to take the lead. your lips guiding his as you ran a hand threw his hair and gently tugged on it causing yeosang to moan into your mouth as your tongue explored his mouth and while also teasingly play with his own wet muscle.

yeosang was melting into the kiss, his hands coming up to your waist to pull you closer to him with your chest flushed tightly against his. when you pulled away from the kiss, yeosang tried to follow after your lips making you let out a small laugh at how cute he was acting.

yeosang only looked at you with slightly dazed eyes, still not fully believing you are here in front of him which allowed you to push at his shoulders, making him fall on his back and into the softness of the bed.

“y/n... please,” he whines as you hover over him slightly, both your hands caging his head to the bed as you look down at him.

“what yeo? what do you want me to do?” you ask with a teasing smile, god, he hasn’t seen this smile in centuries.

“p-please, please fuck me,” he chokes out and your smile turns into a grin as you trail your finger down the center of his body before it stops at the towel he still had wrapped around his waist.

“want me to take it off?” he nods without hesitation, “words.”

“yes!” and the towel was unwrapped from his hips and now he was completely bare to you. his cock was only semi-hard when you removed the towel and yeosang watched as your fingers ghosted over the tip, just barely grazing it. “please touch me, don’t tease me,” he begs and you hum before wrapping your hand around his cock and slowly began stroking it until it was fully hard and an angry red, his pre-cum only just slowly starting to appear at his tip.

he let out a string of whines and curses as you began moving your hand suddenly at a fast pace without warning. yeosang’s back arched off the bed, but your free hand came down to hold him still to the bed before you suddenly stop stroking him.

yeosang watches you as you move in between his legs before grabbing the underside of his thighs, giving them a good squeeze before hoisting them up to his chest. when you let go of his legs, yeosang immediately went to hold them in place as his face was flushed a bright red.

you cooed at him as you leaned over his bent body and kissed him before pulling away to look at his ass that was now on full display for you. his hole tight and pink as you played with it, wiggling just the tip of your index into him before pulling out.

“you’re so tight yeo, does none our boys fuck you open enough?” yeosang moaned at the degrading tone you had laced in your voice. “that’s okay though,” you begin adding a firm smack to both his asscheeks, “i can just fuck you open myself.”

yeosang wanted to come with there and then at your words, but he only settled for letting out a few moans instead. he knew the minute he came then it would all be over. he watched you quickly stand up and go over to his bedside table and dug through the draw before pulling out a bottle of lube.

yeosang watched as you squeezed the clear liquid substance into your palm before he felt you apply it to his hole. he moaned at the cold feeling it gave him as you rubbed it around his puckered hole before applying more to your fingers. fuck, he couldn’t hold his excitement as he felt your index probe at him before slowly slipping inside him.

“f-fuck– oh god, please!” he moaned out, throwing his head back as you eased him open. your movements were slow, almost too slow as if you were messing with him and he looked over to meet your eyes.

when you finally entered a second finger he felt his eye roll back as you started to pick up the pace a bit in your thrusting. yeosang let out a broken fuck as you slowly started hitting his prostate before grabbing his dick with your free hand and stroked him in time to your fingers thrusting in and out of him.

“does that feel good?” you ask and yeosang can only nod as his head fell back onto the bed. you frown at his nonverbal response and quickly stop both your hands making his whine as you remove your finger from him. “i asked a question yeosang, so answer it,” your voice sent a chill down his back as if it was seonghwa speaking to him.

“it does, it feels good,” he says, face burning red, “b-but...”

“but what? what do you want?”

“please, let m-me... let me be inside you,” he says and you coo once more at him before you lean over him once more. your nose brushing his from how close you are.

“do you deserve to be inside me? you may have a nice dick, but do you think you can use it to pleasure me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and yeosang felt his dick twitch from between the two of you at you questioning tone.

“p-please, y/n, please u-use me to pleasure you,” he says out of breath and you let out a small laugh as you sat up and slowly grind down on his dick. the fabric of your underwear slightly damp from your growing wetness and causes yeosang to moan at knowing how close he was actual to you.

“do the others know how much of slut you are?” you ask with a small laugh, “i’m sure they know how much you like to be used. hm, don’t they?”

“t-they do,” yeosang stutters out as he watches you move off of him to take your underwear off and he feels a chill run down his spine as you hover back on top of him to take his dick in your hand a position it at your entrance.

“is this what you want?”

“y-yes!” you smile as you sink down on his length with a moan. yeosang lets his mouth drop open as you start to bounce on his length, the sound of your skin meeting his joining the sound of his and your moans.

“f-fuck, yeosang!” you moan as yeosang takes you all in. his eyes fall on your chest which was still covered and he lets his legs go for a moment in order to unclasp your bra. you take your bra off and throw to the side now allowing yeosang the ability to see you completely bare now.

god, how he missed this sight and he was glad you were using his legs as support for yourself because this allowed him to roam his hands over your body.

getting lost in his pleasure he accidentally thrusted up making you glare at him before stopping, “toys don’t move, so still or i won’t let you cum,” you say and yeosang nods letting out a quiet y-yes before you continued between bouncing and moving your hips in figure-eights.

yeosang felt himself grow closer to his orgasm and you clenching around him doing nothing but bringing him closer. “i-i’m c-close! please y-y/n! let me–

he own choked moan cut him off as he felt you clench around him as you came with a loud moan and a whimper of his name. you coming was enough to finally send yeosang over the edge as he took in the sight of you climaxing, knowing you used him to reach your own pleasure.

it took you a moment before you slid off of him and next to him. you were quick to get him to put his legs down which felt a little sore from the position he held for so long.

while he caught his breath he felt you reach over and press different kisses all over his face making him smile. you pressed a final kiss to his lips before cleaning him up and helping him under the covers.

“i love you, y/n, please don’t disappear,” he says as you hold him close to you under the covers of his bed. you remained silent, only slowly running a hand through his hair and lulling him to sleep.

eventually, yeosang closed his eyes welcoming sleep as he fell asleep in your arms.

when he woke up the next morning he was greeted by an empty bed and yeosang can’t tell if what he experienced last night with you was even real or just a dream. with a sigh, he gets up and starts to get dressed before heading out of his room and to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for himself and the others.

“i love you, too.”

#8makes1teamnet #kdiarynet #poly ateez x reader #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez blurbs #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #poly ateez #ateez yeosang x reader #yeosang smut #kys.#dream films.

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giaourtopita · 3 years

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Hiii! I was wondering if I could request an MC who is getting used to being a demon? Like they keep breaking doors, and ripping clothes bc of their wings

the brothers with a demon mc

thank you for requesting! i just did the brothers but send me an ask if you'd like the undatables too! i slightly referenced this post, you can check that out too but you don't have to because it still makes sense.

warnings; slight angst, mc calls lucifer a bitch in satan's part, fluff(ish), mild self-esteem issues in asmo's part, gn mc.

*mc died unexpectedly, they were young and their death couldn't be explained, which was what hurt their boyfriend and friends the most. he was in pain and in desperation for a miracle but he knew it wouldn't happen. his love was dead and he had to accept that.*

*he saw them a few weeks after their death, to say he was happy would be an understatement. he was beyond grateful he got to be with them after all. when mc came closer to him, he noticed small horns sprouting from their forehead. it didn't make sense to him but his darling was there so it didn't really matter.*

*he didn't think that a human such as mc could become a demon but apparently there have been recorded some cases where a human that had a pact with one of the most powerful demons can in fact become a lesser demon themselves and live in devildom instead of hell.*

*the transition from human to demon was hard for mc, it was painful as they were developing new limbs and muscles as well as horns. their partner has to help them with the pain, control their new abilities and also teach them how to change forms but of course he was happy to help if that meant that his sweetheart could be with him.*

lucifer

- mc was with lucifer the whole day during r.a.d., it had only been a few days since the two reunited and both were ecstatic about it. lucifer took care of mc's pain in the morning by applying some sort of healing cream on the base of their wings as well as on the skin surrounding their small horns.

- the pain was coming back and it was much more sharp than the one in the morning. it was getting too intense for mc to handle so they subconsciously turned into their demon form and stretched their wings in order to get some relief.

- they turned into their demon form, startling everyone including lucifer.

- "darling, what happened?", he asked them while looking around at the other demons and signaling them to not stare.

- mc told him about the pain and he took them home after telling lord diavolo what had happened.

- "lord diavolo will set up online classes for you so you can be more comfortable while transitioning."

- lucifer gave them a massage while using the healing cream and gave them a gentle kiss between their horns.

- "i'll teach you how to fly once you're not in pain okay?"

mammon

- he and mc were hanging out in mammon's room, mc was very playful despite the fact that they were in pain the whole time.

- mc took mammon's jacket and his glasses and started impersonating him. mammon thought they were very accurate with their impersonation and was trying not to laugh, which he failed.

- "mc you look really cute in my jacket, you know that?", mc started blushing so hard that their wings popped out, tearing apart the jacket.

- "i'm sorry, i didn't mean it. i promise i'll get you a new jacket."

- "hey mc, it's okay. i know ya didn't mean it. how are you feeling?", he gently touched the base of their wings making them squirm in pain.

- "i'll go find some pain relief spell okay? just wait here, lay down if it gets really bad.", mammon felt bad leaving them alone right now but he went to satan's room to ask for a spell to help his former human.

- he came back a few moments later with the spell, tended to their needs and gave them a soft kiss on the forehead.

leviathan

- mc and levi holed themselves up in levi's room watching anime.

- levi was so prepared for their transition that he had ordered a pain relief potion for them so they could be more comfortable watching anime with him.

- mc remembered how levi used to wrap his tail around them whenever they cuddled and they wanted to try that too since they also have a tail now.

- levi agreed and showed them how he does it. mc turned out to be a very fast learner and managed to get it right the first time. they reluctantly wrapped their tail around levi's right side while laying on his left.

- levi started the anime they had recently started watching, it was a new shonen anime and the episode they just started watching was a pretty intense one as it was part of a battle arc.

- mc began feeling stressed on the behalf of the protagonist, levi noticed this because they started squishing him with their tail.

- "mc, i know this is a really stressful episode but could you stop squishing me? i understand that you can't control your tail yet but it really hurts right now."

- mc felt bad and apologized immediately to him. they shifted back to their human form so that they wouldn't hurt levi anymore.

- "hey, once we're done with this episode i'll teach you how to deal with the tail okay?"

satan

- satan was also very prepared for their transition, he had done some research and had healing creams, pain relief spells and potions within his reach at all time.

- mc was very well taken care of as satan always went a bit overboard with both the pain relief and the healing process, he hated seeing mc in pain so much that he even found them a diet to follow so that their tail would grow faster and the pain will be over sooner.

- "lucifer is a bitch", mc said angrily while getting in satan's room not being careful enough they transform into their demon form and yank the door causing it to break in half.

- "oh no, i'm sorry", they apologised. "i'll fix it i promise."

- "it's okay don't worry about that now, he is but what happened?"

- mc explained to satan that they wanted to go to the grocery store for some snacks but he wouldn't let them go unless one of the brothers accompanied them.

- "you're a demon now so you're much safer than before, but i think the reason why he's not letting you go unaccompanied outside yet is so that you don't destroy anything."

- "here i'll teach you a trick i still use when i get angry to keep my tail from hitting everything.", satan moved closer to them and stood behind them, he took their tail gently in his hands, moved it downwards and started wrapping the tail around their thigh.

- "it will take a while for you until you're able to wrap the tail without using your hands but this will work for now. you're not in pain, are you?"

- "yeah, i'm fine. thank you", mc smiled at him and then looked down to see that he also transformed into his demon form to show them how he does it.

asmodeus

- "oh sweetie, it's okay i think i can fix it. don't worry!", asmodeus said while looking at the new blouse he just bought for mc.

- mc got upset at themselves because they didn't want to ruin asmo's gift with their stupid wings. it made them feel stupid. how hard is this supposed to be?, they thought to themselves.

- asmo noticed how they felt, after all being around so many people at the same time made him more understanding than the average demon.

- "you know, if you feel bad about your wings don't. they're beautiful and it doesn't matter that you can't control them yet, it's only natural that you can't do that. you weren't born with them so it's okay, if it makes you feel better i can't really control my wings either, i can make them sit in place but i haven't really found a way to use them because they're pretty small and i was born with them. don't worry, you got it!"

- once mc felt reassured, they asked him a question, "maybe i could ask lucifer to help us both with the wing stuff, if anything he must know the most since right now he has two pairs of wings and before the fall he had three."

- "mc, this is not a bad idea. he might get a little annoyed at the beginning but once we figure it out we will basically give him an excuse to be proud of something so he will also gain from this. mc you're a genious, that's why i love you~", he told them before giving them a boop followed by a kiss on the tip of the nose.

beelzebub

- beel thought it would be a good idea to get mc to actually work out with him now that they're a demon like him.

- he brought them with him to his fungol practice so they could have fun together, mc always wanted to try playing fungol but since they were human it was dangerous but now they can play.

- he told them that they would play in case someone couldn't come to practice or had an injury.

- before practice beel thought them a few tricks so they could keep up in case that got called into the field.

- and they did, one of beel's teammates got sick and couldn't attend practice. it was finally mc's time to shine.

- they shifted into their demon form like the rest of the players and they were able to use all of the tricks they were just taught from beel. they even managed to use some techniques other players used in this practice game and in official matches they had watched prior to becoming a demon.

- all was well until mc kicked the ball using too much force causing the ball to be land outside the field.

- mc immediately apologised and ran to go get the ball and beel followed them.

- "i'm sorry beel, i can't really control my strength yet. i don't think i should be playing fungol yet."

- "it's okay, the rest of my teammates are okay with it, i've talked to them before and your slip ups gives them more time to slack off during practice."

- "oh, okay. thank you!", mc kissed him on the cheek. and the two started walking towards the team again.

belphegor

- "i can't sleep", mc complained again while rolling on the other side in belphie's bed for the tenth time.

- "why can't you sleep mc?"

- "mammon said that demons can last longer awake than humans, so maybe it's that but since i'm with you i want to sleep but i can't. can you use your power to make me sleep?".

- "i don't want to use my power like that on you, maybe you just need to relax and then you'll be able to fall asleep."

- mc thought about it and maybe belphie was right.

- "i think i can last for about two episodes of one of beel's cooking shows before falling asleep, we could watch one of those so you'll relax."

- "that's a great idea, i'll go get the controller.", mc brought the controller which was on beel's bedside table and chose an episode in which they were baking cakes.

- they lied down next to belphie and put their head on his chest.

- "thank you for staying awake with me."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me fluff #obey me headcanons #obey me fanfic #obey me angst

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tomatowielder · 4 years

Text

mega-list of ideas for coping with distressing voices

these are only offered as possible things to try if ur hearing distressing voices... everyone is different & everyone’s voices are different. you know you better than anyone else knows you. if you need to modify any of these, or reject any of these as actively unhelpful for you, that’s ok. 💜 feel free to add your own.

use this however is most helpful for you - i’m sharing what helps & has helped for me. so in no particular order:

Name your voices. Sometimes when they’re all just nameless forms, it can be hard to understand what’s going on, and they can feel scarily omnipotent. I found naming mine helpful for kind of containing the experience & getting to know my voices. If you ask some voices will name themselves.

Visualise ‘safe spaces’ for your voices. If you ask some voices might create their own safe place. Otherwise, you can imagine somewhere real, like sometimes I ask one of my voices to go to sleep in certain bits of a room. Or you can imagine . If you really can’t be disturbed for a length of time, you can try leaving the radio on for them, visualising them relaxing, and tell them when you’ll be ‘back’.

Draw your voices. (Or create a pinterest board for them.) One of my voices used to say things that were horrendously graphic and distressing, and I used to try to block her out all the time, so she got more aggressive with trying to get a reaction from me. Drawing her, and everything she said, whilst very difficult to do, helped it feel more manageable, and helped me pick out themes in what she was saying.

Are there any kind voices you can draw on as allies? If you have a voice that’s kind to you, you could try asking them for help. To stand up to other voices, to comfort you afterwards, etc.

Planning in advance what you might say to distressing stuff. Does a specific voice say really triggering, threatening things with an authoritative tone? It might help to prepare for the voice, and how you might respond. Often being aggressive to aggressive voices can trigger more aggression from voices (voices will lash out if they’re insulted) - how can you be polite but assertive? An example I’ve heard is “bless you, but I don’t want to do that” for commanding voices. But your response will be unique.

Set a time to listen to your voices. If voices aren’t listened to, they can get louder and more hurtful and graphic to try to get your attention - it can be a vicious cycle. But, if you engage with some voices without support, it can turn into them playing games with you and playing on your insecurities. It might help to strike a balance - set, say, half an hour a day, let the voices speak, and genuinely listen. After the time is up, you go back to doing what you usually do.

Try asking a trusted person to talk to your voices for you (this is a technique called voice dialoguing). Voice dialoguing was honestly the foundations of my recovery, and mostly conducted by my lovely partner. It’s where you sit in a different seat, and someone else speaks to your voices and you tell the person what the voices say, and you often do this multiple times. You decide what feels safe, and you debrief after. The person has to be non-judgemental about voices, and not frightened of voices. There’s information on voice dialoguing here: https://openmindedonline.com/2018/10/14/talking-with-voices-article-and-video/

Try some peer support. Maybe there’s a hearing voices group in your area? https://www.hearing-voices.org/hearing-voices-groups/find-a-group/ If not, there’s a lot of us on tumblr - hit us up and vent here. You don’t have to carry this alone.

Are you listening with anxious intensity bc they’re saying particularly distressing things? When my voices are calling me worthless or useless, or saying graphic things, or telling me a shameful secret only I know, I can completely drop what I’m doing, and LISTEN with such anxious intensity because I NEED to know I’m bad and evil. Sometimes it helps to notice I’m doing this and “let go” of the anxious intensity. I don’t need to powerlessly obsessively listen just because they’re shit talking me.

Physically soothe yourself to soothe screaming voices. Hearing screaming? Try hugging yourself, or giving yourself a face massage, or telling yourself it’s OK, or whatever it is that soothes you. When I soothe myself, I usually inadvetedly soothe the crying or screaming voice. Sometimes overtly comforting the voice helps too, even if it’s coming from very far away.

If you’ve experienced trauma, voices might be carrying memories you don’t remember or don’t feel strongly about, so they can’t be kind to you - you dissociated whilst they (the voice) stayed. Some voices remember things I don’t. Some memories I have I remember, but I don’t feel traumatised by them - but my voices really do. They have to be aggressive and violent towards me, because a) if I got close to them, I would remember too, and they’re protecting me, and b) they resent me for not remembering it whilst they do. Whilst this doesn’t immediately help how cruel they can be, it helps me have some compassion & acceptance.

Imagine a protective spell. I used to imagine a pink, sparkling sphere of healing and protection around me, and nothing could get in and hurt me. I was totally safe within this sphere. I was really into D&D, so I statted it too - 1000000000 AC, resistant 10000 to negative energy, etc. On my worst nights this helped.

Have a grounding object. I got a stone from an enjoyable vacation I had, and also an amethyst and a teddy, and I used to curl up into the fetal position and GRIP them. If you’re into this stuff, you could charge the objects with healing energy, anything else that makes the object feel more grounding. (This post is about hearing voices but also if you have visual hallucinations & feel brave enough, throwing something through the hallucination can help.)

Experiment with earplugs, sound, and space. Everyone’s voices are so unique - some get louder in big, echoey buildings, some get louder in small spaces, some shout above background noises, some blend in, some get louder with earplugs, some get quiet. Experiment! Go to different spaces and ask the voices if they can talk. Put different (&no) background sounds on. Use earplugs. See if anything feels more or less comfortable.

Experiment with distractions. When I was strugglling 24/7, the only quiet I would get would be during a good film and I NEEDED that. You can’t use distraction all the time - voices will catch up, and ignored voices tend to try to find ways to not be ignored. But I’ve found it necessary to find some breathing space. Films were that for me. There could be distractions that work best for you.

Hide! It’s OK to hide. It’s so OK to hide. It’s not a negative coping mechanism. Under the desk is my favourite place.

Complete a Maastricht interview. I am continually surprised by how little I know about my voices & how helpful I find it to know my voices more. The Maastricht interview is a series of questions that facilitates more self understanding - it might be triggering, so it might be useful to prepare yourself. Look in your local area to see if you can do it in person. If not, voila! http://www.hearingvoices.org.nz/attachments/article/59/Maastricht_Interview_for_voice_hearers.pdf (fwiw I’ve not done it yet but want to lol & I’ve met voice hearers who it’s helped.)

You’re not dirty or wrong for a voice saying graphic and horrible things. <3 It’s OK to hear graphic and disturbing voices. It’s not a reflection on you. It’s OK and normal to hear these things. You deserve safety & kindness.

If your voices get loud in new or anxiety provoking situations, give them some detailed advanced warning. Voices don’t always know what’s happening, what year it is, etc - they’re not always oriented to our reality. Saying, say, “I am going to a job interview on Saturday. Here is what is going to happen on Saturday: ...” can help them, so they don’t get anxious and take it out on you.

Start the small steps of building a collaborative relationship with your voices. Is your voice telling you to kill yourself, others, and that you’re worthless? Obviously, don’t do these things lol - but it might help to ask the voice if it has, say... a preference for a TV show, or a food. Something that doesn’t hurt you to accommodate. It can start the small steps of building a good relationship to take small preferences of the voice on board.

Educate your friends so they can be kinder to you. I like this talk! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syjEN3peCJw Most of my friends who were frightened of me & my voices were much more understanding after watching this. But you choose your resources.

Accept that it’s ok to be distressed by them and it’s ok to struggle to cope.. Give yourself as much slack as you can. Hearing voices can be so gruelling. It can be isolating and lonely and PHYSICALLY exhausting. You don’t have to do it all. NONE of us can be ‘super-copers’. It’s OK to need rest, and to cut yourself some slack.

Honourary mentions for https://www.hearing-voices.org/ & https://www.intervoiceonline.org/ & https://understandingvoices.com/ c:

#actuallyhallucinating #pseriouslyschizospectrum #pseriouslypsychosis #traumacore #actuallytraumatized #actuallycptsd #pseriouslyschizophrenic #hearing voices #actually hallucinating

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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on the subject of crackships.

in a prue lives, phoebeleo piperkyle pruecole paigeandy au (in which paige meets them in s1) how do u see it playing out and ALSO. do u see them all having kids still. this is so random i am so sorry (also i don't mean they have to be set from the get go and never get w anyone else but these would hypothetically be endgame)

i mean with phoebeleo like hard yes like in s2 when they're watching the baby at the end everyone's like phoebe ik you're gonna be a great mom you're gonna have like a million and one kids like mark my words and phoebe's real smitten about it like wow u really think you : ) i'd like to. guess i should probably find a guy first tho huh. but if that guy's already there bc it's leo and he's been here since season one i think they are easily first to have kids and first to get a full power of three the other three is definitely like another can of worms bc like.

okay so for paigeandy obvi we're starting andy's an old childhood friend of the halliwell's for the sake of cleanliness did not date any of them (if we're going messy tho dated prue hooked up once or twice with phoebe (not while dating prue, but neither of them ever mentioned it around prue bc well. yikes.) And piper had a major crush on andy for like. a decade. from ages 13 to 23) and he's a cop and does. stuff idk helps people and this lands him frequently in bed with social services which is. consistently. a pain in the ass. and he doesn't try to hold it against them bc they're clearly understaffed underpaid there's a lot to do but um jesus. and everyone in the precinct Hates having to go over there to do stuff bc you're just standing in the lobby drinking bad coffee for fifty minutes before you can even get a word in with the work and unlucky andy he drew the short straw ends up at social services and who should he meet there if not this gorgeous but really scatterbrained berkeley grad with a mouth like a sailor and a heart of gold and now um there's no need to draw straws at the station because andy straight up volunteers to go to social services just to see paige which she notices of course because like. were you jinxed or something? cursed? i've never known someone to draw the short straw so many times. and andy's like no i just um. like being hands on with my work i don't like leaving up to some dumb rookie with bad luck and paige is like oh don't worry i promise it is still being left to some dumb rookie with bad luck i mean i am right here blah blah blah banter conversation hint at a tragic backstory give it half a season and then it's official bf/gf shit and as far as charmed goes it's a prophecy about four sisters and the halliwells are like phew. dodged a bullet there lmao. until they do something only charmed ones could do and they're like Wait. Fuck. Is There A Fourth Sister Out There? so they find paige within the first hmm ten episodes or so.

so since we have both s1 phoebeleo and paigeandy i'd say they'd be on the fastest track but i feel like paige does have a lot more issues when it comes to getting married and having kids than phoebe does regardless i think by s4 they're married on track to have kids with pruecole we're doing the s3 introduction and the enemies to lovers arc we seal that with either a wedding at the very end of s4 or at the very beginning of s5 however kids is like. like they both want kids but prue has daddy issues and cole has mommy issues not to mention the charmed one/demon hybrid so they need to do some soul searching on that one. prue's probably pregnant by the end of s5 and has her baby halfway thru s6. paige may or may not have had kids at this point if they did they were kind of a whoopsies baby but she and andy r embracing it with open arms.

piperkyle imo is peak in a divorce/widower era it's been pitched like piperkyle au where he's not fucking insane piperkyle au where she's not brokenhearted piperkyle au where they're both normal happy people who then meet but like. nah. the appeal of them to me really is being the broken fucked up human being and feeling like you're kinda just gonna stay broken and fucked up bc you had your shot and you blew it so now you're here get used to it and then to have someone to meet someone who sees you so genuinely as you are that at first it's disgusting leave me alone i hate you but out of that just honest sight grows familiarity and comfort and before you even realized it happened love and jfc i'm in love with them???? but you realize that you're always happier when they're around you want to stay by their side and you don't even have to wonder if they feel the same because you just know they do because you Know each other and you don't have to wait for them to turn and run once they see who you really are because they know who you are they've known from the start saw the ugly the broken and vile and looked past that and saw the beauty and genuine love underneath like 🗣‼🗣‼🗣‼🗣‼. piperkyle consistently makes me insane. So. in order to hit this. we're bringing in dan. that's right, from season two to six (maybe just five but i'd like to have the pruecole arc wrapped up in a nice bow by the time we open up the next enemies to lovers) piper and dan give a relationship the old college try going from the honeymoon phase to the cringe failmarriage stage until it's eventually just time to call it quits like you literally can't move forward. so because of the delayed start piperkyle would def be the last to have kids but because this is a long slowburn full of character development and just like. vulnerable bonding moments i think that once they go official as a couple wedding and kids are not far off on the horizon i think if we close out a season (a hypothetical 9 or 10) with them getting together for the first time then we gotta burn some miles on the freak out denial stage because i always think that's funny that'll last half a season? maybe a third. and then by the end of the season we're looking at a wedding. by the end of the following season they def have a kid

superlatives!

most fashionable couple: pruecole

most likely to name their kids after dead relatives: piperkyle

most likely to break p tradition: paigeandy

most chill about dating a charmed one: phoebeleo (andy kyle & cole would all be way too willing to throw themselves into danger, leo trusts phoebe's foresight and knows when he needs to sit on the sidelines. it is a lesson all the other men still struggle with)

bonus round!

best bromance: 1st place: leoandy 2nd place: leocole 3rd place: colekyle

#charmed #prue x cole #piper x kyle #phoebe x leo #paige x andy #also never apologize for sending me dumb crackship things i fuckin love them!!#💌

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wienerbarnes · 4 years

Text

Witch Bitch

Pairing: Bucky x Witch!Reader

Word Count: 3,943

Warnings: witch stuff, burning at the stake 😳

A/N: this is heavily inspired by american horror story: coven bc i recently watched and ive been binging all of it lately but its not necessary to know anything about ahs lol i kinda just used their fancy magical terminology and concepts bc they were cool🤪

MAIN MASTERLIST

The best time of the day was breakfast. It was the time when Bucky, Sam, and Sharon were most often together. Sometimes training overlapped and they missed lunch. Sometimes missions ran long or friends were in town and they missed dinner. But the morning? They were all early birds, all awake by seven. They took that shared characteristic and shared breakfast together whenever they could. Bucky usually took care of the coffee, Sam usually took care of the eggs and bacon, and Sharon usually took care of the bagels, toasting them to perfection before slathering on a layer of cream cheese.

It was a moment of peace in their day. Quiet before the noise of the gym or the conference room or the jets or the private trainings or the interviews with prospective agents or anything else they do on a daily basis. It was a time for three friends to just sit and eat and enjoy each other's company as though they are just that: three friends. Not super soldiers or captains or special agents. Just people being normal. Normal doesn’t last long, though. It never does for them.

Bucky’s on dish washing duty this morning while Sam and Sharon chat idly behind him, waiting for him to finish so they can all leave together. A soft voice interrupts them, though, making the three of them stop what they’re doing because no one has access to this floor except for the people that live here - meaning them three.

“Who’s in charge here?” You ask.

“Who the hell are you?! How did you get up here?!” Sharon asks, ignoring your question.

You were in a long, flowy black skirt, slit cut in the left side exposing your leg, and a long-sleeve black shirt, tucked beneath the waistband. Think black boots cover your feet and a black hat sits on your head to complete your look. Bucky almost doesn’t notice the folded black umbrella underneath your arm as his eyes trail down the multiple chains and necklaces around your neck, falling between your breasts.

“I’ve been trying to find someone to help me but the people in this building are not very helpful. I figured I’d find who’s in charge myself, something that you all don’t seem to want to help me with, either.” You explain.

“The only way to even enter this building is through strict appointment and background checks, and no one’s even allowed past the nineteenth floor.” Sam explains.

“Why are you entertaining this? I’m getting her out of here.” Sharon says, moving to walk towards you to take you out of the building herself.

As she nears closer and closer, you wave your hand lazily, without taking your eyes off Bucky, the only one who hasn’t said anything this whole time, and Sharon collapses on the floor soundlessly.

“Jesus!”

“What did you do!”

Both Bucky and Sam panic as they rush to Sharon’s body on the floor. They frantically run their hands over her body, looking for the point of injury that made her collapse the way she did, but they find nothing. No holes, no blood; she didn’t even make a sound.

“She’s not breathing and she doesn’t have a pulse, what the fuck did you do to her?!” Sam yells at you.

You roll your eyes, “Okay, you got me. I don’t need help finding who’s in charge, I already know it’s you. I still do need your help, though.”

You’re ignored as the two men hover over their friend, unsure of what to do or what even happened to her.

“Oh, alright, move.” You order them, stepping over Sharon’s body.

You stand before her, lifting your hands to hover over her body before closing your eyes and letting out a deep and long exhale. Bucky and Sam watch as it takes only about seven seconds for their friend to suddenly gasp for air, jumping back to life. The boys crowd her once more, checking her eyes, her pulse, everything to convince themselves that she’s actually alive like that, and if she was even dead in the first place.

Sam finally looks back up at you from the ground, as though he just remembered that you’re there, “What are you?”

You smirk in response, ready to finally get what you came here for.

…

“So, you’re a witch?” Sam asks, the four of them now occupying a private conference room for some privacy.

“A witch who killed me.” Sharon adds.

“And a witch that brought you right back.” You reply, leaning back on your chair, leg crossed over your knee, slit exposing your thigh. Bucky’s eye twitch to look at your bare skin for a second before returning to meet your eyes.

“So… what do you do?” Bucky asks.

You smile at his innocent curiosity, “All witches don’t have one universal power. Some are clairvoyant, some do voodoo, some dabble in pyrokinesis, divination, transmutation, descendum,” You glance over to Sharon, who’s still pouting at you, “Resurrection.”

“And can you do all of those?” Bucky asks.

“Almost all of them, but I’m not here to talk about me.”

“Why are you here?” Sharon asks.

“You guys hunt the Nazi’s, right?” You ask, aiming your question towards Sam, knowing he’s the Captain in charge.

“Hydra, yes.” He confirms.

“Well, your Nazi’s somehow got a hold of my magic. And they are playing with very dangerous fire,” You begin.

Bucky interrupts, “We’re all for taking down Hydra, but, don’t you think you’re a little more… powerful than us?” He asks.

“Bucky!” Sharon slaps his arm, as though she’s shocked that he would ever admit such a thing.

“I am. But I’m not that powerful, either. Not anymore, at least. A group of those Hydra invaded the coven my sisters and I were at. I was the only one that escaped.” You tell them.

“Did Hydra take them?” Sam asks.

“No, they killed them.” You respond, growing irritated as the subject grows touchier and touchier.

“Can’t you just bring them back like you did me?” Sharon inquires.

“No! I can’t. Like I said, I’m not that powerful anymore. Maybe I’d be able to bring back a house full of dead girls when it was me and twelve others but it’s just me now. I wouldn’t come all the way over here if I had other options.”

Silence grows over the group as they process what you’ve gone through. Surviving through the massacre of your fellow witches and not being powerful enough to find the people that did it on your own. You’re vulnerable.

“So what can we do?” Sam asks, ready to join forces with you.

“Help me locate the men who did this so I can handle the magic part.” You tell him.

“What magic do they have?”

“Although witches control most of the magic, sometimes it can be taken on in… physical forms. Specifically blood. The blood they retrieved was from a witch that was skilled in Vitali Vitalis.”

“The alive within the living.” Bucky translates.

“There are two worlds: the living and the dead,” You begin to explain, “Vitali Vitalis keeps the balance between these two things and it’s one of the most difficult powers for a witch to master. Oftentimes it’s used to give parts of your own life, health, and energy to someone who needs it. But it can also allow you to take life from someone and give it to yourself.”

“Like immortality?” Sam questions.

“Not quite. Any witch can be killed with a knife or bullet. This kind of magic keeps you from dying of age. I’ve only ever known one witch who mastered it.”

“What happened to her?”

“She used it for evil, like this. Took the souls of hundreds in order to allow herself to live for almost three centuries. Until she was killed, of course.” You finish, a small smile on your lips knowing that she got what she deserved.

“What, you burn her at the stake?” Sharon jokes.

“Yes, actually. We did.” You tell her matter-of-factly, becoming more and more irritated at the fact that she doesn’t seem to take this is as seriously as you are.

Bucky interrupts, sensing the rising tension between the two girls, “So when we find these guys, you’re going to burn them at the stake, too?” He asks.

“Yes,” You say, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “The consequence of using magic like this for evil is death by fire. I hope you all don’t think the rules will change on account of these men being Nazi’s?”

“Well, we just have a different way of doing things -” Sam begin to defend

“Yes, I’m aware. The countless destruction caused by you and other militaries, the millions of innocent lives lost yearly, not only in the constant war and irresponsible handling of your nuclear and alien weaponry, but by incorrect prosecution. Not to mention the billions of dollars spent on your ridiculous prison systems that don’t work when actual bad people escape and the death penalty practices in certain states. I just figured my way was easier. And cheaper.” You reply.

Silence crowds over the four of them once more as they think over all their options.

“I’m in.” Bucky speaks first.

“Me, too. Even if I don’t like you.” Sharon follows.

“Feeling’s mutual, dear.” You smile at her.

The three of them look to Sam, waiting for his commitment as well.

“Alright. Let’s get to work.”

Plans were made, theories of location were thought of, and plans to execute the mission were put into place, all of which included you. A temporary room was given to you when the information of your lack of a place to stay was brought to light. Only for the duration of this mission, is what Sam told you, but you can spot the amount of love and light in his heart from miles away.

It was later that night, and you’ve since cleansed the room, going as far as to place a protective spell on the entire floor. You’ve lost too much already, and you’re not about to risk anything.

A knock at the door sounds and the visitor you’d been expecting has finally arrived. You walk towards the door, still in your clothes from earlier but now you’ve removed your shoes, and open the door to reveal Bucky.

“I was waiting for you.” You tell him.

“How’d you know I’d come?” He asks, stepping through the door when you step aside, silently gesturing to him to enter.

“I can hear your thoughts. You've been debating whether or not to come see me for the past thirty minutes. Your mind is very loud.”

“Tell me about it.” He mumbles to himself, thinking about the countless nightmares, voices, and all the other reminders of just how loud his mind was.

“You can ask all your questions, you know. I won’t take any offence. You’re just curious.” You tell him, settling on your bed, hoping he’ll join you and stop hovering near the door.

Luckily he takes the hint and takes a seat across from you.

“I’ve never met a witch before. A real one, I mean. Like, someone born a witch. Like Salem witches -”

“I understand.” You chuckle lightly.

“You don’t seem… afraid of me. Or, hesitant, rather.” You tell him, thinking about how he’s received your presence here compared to his colleagues.

“I was wary when you killed my friend, but… you just need some help, is all. I’m sorry, by the way, I’m not sure if I said it before, but, I’m sorry for what happened to your friends.” He tells you.

He’s very polite. But you supposed that’s not abnormal considering he got his manners from the 1920’s. You like it, though. You give him an appreciative smile before giving him the okay to ask you whatever he wanted.

“So you said that witches can master multiple powers but have one specialty; is yours resurrection?”

“Yes; it was the first power I ever exhibited when I was a teenager. I was about fourteen or fifteen. My next mastered skill is descendum and then clairvoyance, where I was in my twenties, or so.” You tell him as he looks at you with pure fascination in his eyes.

“What is - what is descendum?”

You pause, “The power to descend your soul down into the afterlife - to hell. And return alive.”

His eyes widened, not even knowing that was something someone can do; not even knowing that hell existed in the first place, “So, you’ve been to hell?”

“Yes. I’ve also been able to retrieve people from hell, their soul. A variation of my power of resurrection, I suppose.” You explain, not being too fond of that power; descending to hell.

Bucky sits in silence for a few minutes, and you let him. You can hear the question lingering around in his head; what he’s thinking. But you let him build up his own courage to ask it. You know he’s only scared of the answer; the answer you know he’s not going to like.

“What is hell like?” He whispers.

“It doesn’t matter what my hell is like. Everyone has their own personal hell they experience when they die.” You tell him.

Confusion clouds his features as he registers your answer.

“Is there… Is there no heaven?”

You smirk, “It’s nice that you’ve remained religious after all this time.”

“Yes, there's heaven. But only for the purest and most innocent of souls. And rarely do people escape life without sin. Everyone has evil in them.” You tell him, knowing it’s a harsh truth that no one wants to hear.

The people Bucky’s killed, the crime he’s committed, the families he’s hurt; it all passes through his mind. Everyone has evil in them.

“What was your hell like?”

“I’m not telling you that.” You tell him quickly.

Bucky ponders what his own hell will be like, after seeing the way you’re clearly shaken up about your own. The fall from the train. The man in a lab coat sawing off the rest of his arm. The needles poking through his skin in the middle of some facility. The chair.

He doesn’t realize that he’s looked away from you until he snaps his thoughts back to the present and sees he’s looking down into his lap. He glances up to see your face, your soft features and kind eyes staring at him. He glances from your eyes to your lips and back up again before clearing his throat, not realizing how close he got to you during his time here sitting on your bed.

“You know, I, uh, I should go. Thank you for, uh, answering my questions, but we head out pretty - pretty early tomorrow, so,” He trails off, standing and patting down his shirt to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in a nervous habit.

He makes his way towards the door and his hand touches the knob when he hears your voice, “Hey, Bucky?” He turns slightly to face you again, a hum to indicate for you to continue.

“Thank you for coming to see me. And thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me. You’re a very good person.” You tell him sincerely.

He gives you a nod of you’re welcome before exiting.

He’s not sure if you told him that because you truly mean it, or if it’s because of the state of anxiety and existential crises you’ve put him in now that he’s going to be thinking about his personal hell, but he appreciates it, nonetheless.

He thinks you’re a pretty good person, yourself.

…

The mission goes off without a hitch. The combined skill of the Avengers’ stealth, spyware, and experience along with your magic and witchery makes for an easy capture of the men who killed your witch sisters and stole your magic.

It’s not long before the facility they were at was shut down and cleared out, arresting any officers and rescuing any prisoners or hostages, and the five men specifically responsible for the destruction of your coven are in separate custody. What’s left of the blood is returned to you, as well.

That’s where the group of you stand now, a decision to be made about the criminals you’ve captured. To be put in the maximum security prison floating in the ocean, or to be put to death by fire.

“I don’t believe in being the executioner of people.” Sam tries to convince.

You can’t help but let a laugh escape you, “Do you know who you work for?! Do you know who you are?!” You remind him.

“Those guys can’t escape the Raft.” He tries, referring to prison in the middle of the ocean you’ve heard about.

“You did.” You respond, knowing about when Steve Rogers took him out of that prison, along with other superheros.

You see Bucky and Sharon look between the two of you, torn between how these Hydra criminals should receive their fate. Staring into the hot depths of flames or rotting alone in a cell? Both seem to be too merciful, in Bucky’s opinion.

“This isn’t just running the facility or experiments, Sam. This is different. They were using dark magic to commit crimes. Maybe they should face the consequences of a dark-magic-punishment.” Sharon offers.

You don’t have time to be shocked at Sharon agreeing with you and picking your side before Bucky agrees and Sam is outnumbered. He stares at you and gives a single nod, allowing you to do this your way.

You smile, a silent thank you for giving you the closure and opportunity to serve justice to those who did you harm. “Off to Massachusetts, then.” You tell them, and Sam takes his seat in the pilot's chair, Bucky accompanying him in the front of the jet.

You take a seat, making yourself comfortable for the flight to Salem and you feel a body take the seat next to you. You glance up to see Sharon looking at you, but you notice she has something in her hand, offering it to you.

You look down to see a small plastic bag of fruit gummies. But not just any fruit gummies, you realize. Halloween themed fruit gummies. The pictures on the outside show the various options inside: witch’s hat, a broom stick, a melting pot, a vial, and a magic wand. Hilarious.

You take the gummies, though, accepting her attempt at a truce.

It’s not long before you and your temporary teammates find themselves standing before a large, empty field, multiple wooden stakes standing about fifteen feet tall scattered about with plenty of space in between.

You lead the walk to a group of them standing tall in line, so the men can be burned at the same time, as opposed to one by one. A group of large, burly agents lug the Hydra operatives along, behind you and the rest of the team.

Bucky hangs around your left, as to not be in the way of the black umbrella held in your right hand, and Sam and Sharon trail behind you. You can sense their uneasiness and tune out their worried thoughts. Everyone’s first burning is always an experience; they’ll get over it.

Bucky doesn’t seem worried, though. In fact, you can’t hear his thoughts this time around. But he still stands tall and straight, walking with confidence, so you make a safe assumption that he’s okay.

None of the men’s cuffs or shackles are removed, but thick rope is tied on top of it, around the wrist and looped around the waist, tying them to the stake. The cuffs are special grade - high tech Avengers vibranium - and they can be retrieved later once the fire burns out.

“Any last words?” You ask, more for tradition than whether or not you actually care.

They look scared, obviously not expecting their fate to look anything like this. You remember seeing Bucky tackle one of them in the facility, prying his mouth open to rip out a tooth, or what looked like a tooth, like a dog caught eating something it wasn’t supposed to. A cyanide pill.

Silence comes from them, except for one of them, “Hail Hydra!” He yells, as if that cowardly and pathetic phrase would change anything.

With a raise of your hand, seemingly with no effort, you wave it and the stakes all begin to rise up in flames. There’s nothing to spark, no twigs, no gasoline, nothing, and Bucky watches as the flames rise, growing stronger as they engulf the five men. They begin to scream, and Bucky looks over at you, as if to confirm you didn’t bring gasoline or something with you, and he sees a smile slowly grow on your lips.

They haven’t stopped screaming; they’re still alive when you turn and begin to walk back the way everyone came. Bucky follows, and eventually Sam and Sharon do, too, the other agents staying behind until the end to retrieve the cuffs and shackles that will survive the fire.

“So, now what?” Sharon asks, the air quieter as the screams have slowly stopped in the distance.

I can’t imagine what kind of paperwork follows this, “Back to the tower.” Sam responds.

“The coven’s only a short walk from here.” You say, not needing to elaborate much more. The men have been caught and brought to justice, but you still have a broken, battered, and beaten down coven to fix.

A friend of yours was meant to go by and retrieve the… bodies. Which you’re grateful for. But magic won’t help you fix the walls, the floors, mop the blood, or find other witches in need of an escape and a place to improve and master their powers. You have a lot of work to do.

As the view of the jet gets closer, you prepare to bid your goodbyes to the Avengers, your thank you’s as well. Regardless of your attitude towards them before, you couldn’t have done this without them.

A metal hand engulfs yours, pulling you back a bit as Sam and Sharon continue on.

“Do you need any help?” Bucky’s warm and gentle voice floods your ears, hand still in yours.

“You guys have been more than enough help, now, really.” You try to tell him, but he has none of it.

“You may be tough, but you can’t fix up that house by yourself,” He tells you, “I can be pretty handy, fixed up a few things back in my day.” A soft smile grows on his face.

You glance over his shoulder as Sam and Sharon wait by the entrance of the jet, “Don’t you have to go back?”

“They won’t miss me.” He tells you, not even looking back to confirm with his teammates, hand dropping to run it through his hair.

You giggle at him, before giving him a shy nod in answer to his offer to help you fix up your big house.

“I’m going to hang out here for a few days.” He yells over his shoulder.

“We figured.” Sam calls out, and Sharon throws you a wave as they board the jet, the opening close after them.

“Lead the way?” Bucky offers you, taking your hand once more, interlocking the fingers this time.

And so the two of you are off, one of your hands still clutching the umbrella, holding it above your head, and the other hand interlaced with the one of a handsome and kind super soldier. This wasn’t the way Bucky expected the last two days to transpire, but he’s glad they led to holding the hand of a very pretty witch.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x witch!reader #marvel #bucky oneshot #love me some magic #also if anyone watches ahs... hmu i love it #ive watched all of them except cult and im currently rewatching freak show rn

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mayasdeluca · 3 years

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i know everyone’s moved on from Maya’s decision but i’m still 🧐 how we got from sexism in SFD and not being able to advance in her career to..

“I’ve been thinking this whole time that I needed to stick to some plan, but plans don’t work. People die. Families fall apart. Let’s have a baby.”

.. after the Thanksgiving fiasco. and it’s not just Maya. it’s hard following the trajectory of all the characters. except maybe Travis (he’s seemingly consistent, or they don’t write for him enough to be inconsistent?)

and Sullivan, for not good reasons, who continues to be an ass. bc Maya did say, “Or if I asked?” which, she’s clearly trying to ask, and he nodded and said “Proudly.” but he was more concerned with the optics around his promotion. “I’ve worked really hard to earn even a modicum of respect from this team.” you refused to apologize for almost a year! that was an easy starting point.

Yes, this is a problem with the writing that I've noticed for a while now. They not only have trouble balancing all these characters and storylines and giving them all proper screentime, but there also seems to be inconsistencies in what the characters want/think and they don't ever really show the growth or development because they either drop the storyline, skip through it, or it's supposedly off screen.

Unfortunately Travis doesn't really get much of any kind of storyline with the exception of small backstories that are usually an episode or two throughout. He really hasn't had much of anything substantial lately. I mean I guess you can say his stuff with his parents and Emmett are minor things but I don't know, I feel like he gets the most shafted. Also Jack because really, what are they doing with him? He kinda just seems there most of the time and awkwardly put in other scenes just because.

Then you have Vic who is basically always with a man in her storylines and we have no real backstory about her or any of her family or anything like that.

And with Maya, Sullivan and Andy, I would say they usually get the most, though Maya is kinda on the backburner this season and I do hope she's finally going to get the career storyline this season but these 3 always are going through so much at one time and it's like they can't ever have the career + personal life at the same time.

Like with Maya (since that's how I only care about within those 3 lol) and her being frustrated with her career but then they try to make it seem like having a baby is a substitute for that...I mean there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to have both at the same time or feel one way about her job and feel another way about starting a family with her wife. But it's like they only have her focusing on one at a time. When she was demoted, we barely saw her upset about it and then they had her focused on starting a family with Carina and now it feels like they're probably going to have her so frustrated with the new chief that she may not even want to progress with the whole baby thing? That's just an assumption on my part but I have a feeling it's going to be a way to give Marina more angst. And then Carina will get angry because Maya already agreed but now she'll be distracted by work.

They really need to be able to have the characters juggle multiple things at once and feel more than one thing at a time. And don't get me started on how they write Sullivan because it's like they don't realize how awful they make him and they try to make up for it after the fact.

I'm just very curious how the writers are going to tie this all together in Maya's case. Is she actually going to be able to fix the sexism within the station? Is she going to be able to start a family and keep her job/move up the ranks? Are they going to make Maya choose one or the other? Because that would be ridiculous and then that means they have no plan on actually fixing any sort of sexism, either in the plot or their writing.

#asks #anon #station 19 #this got very long i apologize lol #a lot of jumbled thoughts

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sunder-soul · 3 years

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you make most of it up? That's amazing. Could you maybe share your method/thinking/resources for someone who also wants to write believable class stuff in the hp fandom? Thank u very much

Yayaya sure!

Short answer:

So I'll pull details from the HP wiki, and if I need a random plant name or potion ingredient and can't be fucked making one up (or I don't need it to be something symbolic etc) I often use this random generator and either use those names straight out, or tweak them a bit before using them.

Long answer:

Well I'm a huge fan of soft worldbuilding (where you don't outline all the rules and details and instead have a sort of immersive description that leaves a lot unsaid) because I feel it makes things more realistic, like you're glimpsing little parts of things that are utterly normal and therefore don't need explaining ya kno. So when I write classroom scenes or any kind of 'lore' I try not to explain it and rely instead on characters reacting to things to convey its importance, normalcy, or strangeness.

I do this alllll the time but I did it HEAPS in white dove. When Tom is in trial and he gets a 'tier nine' cell (which I made up) I don't bother writing something like "oh my gosh tier nine is the worst and most intense type of cell you can get and it has these rules and these horrifying conditions" bc I don't need to. The whole room reacts with gasps and horror and even Tom looks freaked out (tho that's mostly bc he was expecting a sentence of a specific amount of years and was confident he could just outlive it bc immortal and that's the moment that he's like oh fuck, but the point still stands).

So the emotions/reactions of the people tell you everything you need to know without me having to outright describe it. You don't need to know what a tier 9 cell is, you get that it's fucking baddddd. In fact, it's sort of even better than explaining it bc our imaginations find the unknown even scarier than something horrifying described in detail.

In the same chap a bit further down, I make reference to a 'peeping charm' which I made up on the spot. Same deal but different context, it makes sense that magic users have a spell that'll act like a peephole in their doors, there's no reason to say 'this spell will let me look through the door without the person on the other side noticing so I can see who it is before opening it' because this would be a totally normal thing. So I just wrote it like it wasn't a big deal bc to this character in this context, this wouldn't be a big deal.

On the other hand you can also totally introduce something new that DOES need some detail/exposition. At the beginning of this same chap I say that Tom's lips and cheeks are flushed, that this a tell-tale sign of veritaserum poisoning, and that they've obviously given him heaps of the stuff. I made this up just bc I wanted there to be something the MC could visually and easily see from across the room that would establish that Tom's been given a SHIT TON of truth potion so that for the rest of the scene, the audience in the room with him AND the audience reading the chapter knows he's being forced to tell the truth. It just added to the tension of the moment and made sense for the context (a trial lol). It also gives the scene some layers - Tom was fairly brief and controlled when he actually speaks in that scene, and I wanted it to be unclear if this is because he's being super self controlled by choice as he's normally prone to being, if he knows that he'll be unable to lie and doesn't want to let on any more of his secrets, or if he knows honesty will destroy the picture perfect tragic image the newspapers have made for him if he's TOO much of a monster.

I'm rambling but the point is, if you're going to introduce details or concepts it's really important to have an understanding of who would know that stuff already, who would find it commonplace and who might be totally unaware of it. Sometimes everyone in the scene would know about it already but the AUDIENCE doesn't, and that's when you can use like casual conversation/questions between characters to give more info whilst also showing that this is all very normal.

Having a character not know something is an easy way to have another character explain something to them but there has to be a solid reason as to WHY one would know it and the other doesn't.

An example of a time I've used this is in Mimicry when the MC knows troll blood will ruin Tom's potion but Tom doesn't. Normally we'd be like 'wait what, why would a nerd-ass know it all like Tom not know this,' but it makes sense to my understanding of the character that he's the sort of person who got a recommendation that 'Zoological Potions Ingredients' was the BEST textbook on ingredients and went off and fucking memorised the whole thing and didn't think that anything could have changed in the 70 years after it was published (Tom strikes me as the sort of person who chases 'the best' and doesn't think much past that is worth considering). Hence why he didn't know that the classification for trolls changed and that further research was done, since he also strikes me as the sort of person who would consider reading up on the social status of trolls to be a little pointless lol, but surprise bitch it wasn't.

So I made up most of that except for the existence of Bundimuns and trolls - I went hunting on the wiki for some obscure substance I could reference in passing for a potions ingredient (and found Bundimuns), and honestly I can't remember how much about them I made up and how much is canon (I think they're mentioned to be used in cleaning products canonically...?)

But the point is more that this scene doesn't just flesh out the world, it tells u stuff about the two characters and how they interact. It tells you that Tom is very studious but doesn't like to revise his opinions, it tells you that the MC knows their shit, it tells you that Tom is suspicious (he instantly challenges them by referencing the textbook not saying what they're telling him), and it tells you that MC is a good bitch who would help out a dick like Tom just bc it's the right thing to do. It also shows Tom's flaws - his disregard of learning about other creatures/beings/people and the way they're treated in society tracks with what we know of his character, and I always think it's important to demonstrate (either directly to him within a scene or to the readers) that this is a stupid thing to do. In this case, his lack of interest in the struggles of others nearly fucked his own potion, he's only saved because MC 1) cares enough to read up about it, 2) sees the importance of revising formally formed opinions/understandings, 3) steps in to help him even though he probably wouldn't have done the same.

So that's soft world building, ya know, using these things to tell you about the characters, using knowledge and lack of knowledge, reactions, etc etc. Most of the details I make up are there to serve a purpose for the plot, but honestly that's just bc I'm writing short super condensed stories that don't have a lot of space for proper world building. In Seven Devils (and Mimicry to a lesser extent) I have a lot more of these details there to create an emotion/sense of the scene just for the sake of setting that scene, but that's for bigger works with more room to breathe.

Hmu if you want to know more but damn I DID write an essay huh 😅

#Anon #Ask #Writing #Mimicry #White dove

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skiller0dani · 4 years

Text

Only Me | Carl Grimes

Summary: Ron gets a little handsy with you, but in order to prevent Carl from losing faith in his new home you don’t tell him. When Carl finds out, he decides to punish you.

Pairing: Carl Grimes x Dixon!Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Language, Fighting, Yelling, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Dirty Talking, Fingering, Kinky Sex,

A/N: I know Carl is underaged at this point in the series, so if that makes you uncomfortable you can pretend he and the reader are 18. :) also I made Carl kinky af in this bc there is a serious lack of Carl smut and I just want him to dominate me so badly hnnnngggg 🤤🤤

Masterlist

Truth be told, Alexandria made you uncomfortable.

Everyone within the steel walls was totally okay pretending that the rest of the world wasn’t completely fucked. They had jobs, school, picnics in the park, it all felt a little too ‘normal’ for you. You had a nook you liked to hide away in, it was a small abandoned treehouse in one of the backyards. You could see over the wall, watch the walkers roam around and see the city in the distance. You know it’s odd that you feel more comfortable out there rather than in a perfectly safe camp. The people here were nice and welcoming, and they greeted your group as if you were neighbors who just moved into the neighborhood. They acted as though you weren’t from out there, and that you weren’t covered in walker guts when you first strode through the gates. Few knew where to find you when you decided to hide away, and one of those few people was your boyfriend- Carl.

“Thought I’d find you up here.” You hear a voice say below your treehouse, but when you look out you see Ron. A smile stretches across from your face, Ron is nice. He’s been a good friend to you ever since you got here, he’s been trying to help you adjust from living out there to living here in Alexandria. He’s introduced you to people, shown you around, and brought you to all the cool spots that the adults don’t go around. One of them being your treehouse, he’s one of the only other people who knows you’re probably here if you disappear. “Hey Ronny,” you smile as he climbs up the rope and into the treehouse. He has a comic book in his hands as he sits on the mattress next to you. You open the book you snatched from Carol’s stash and you continue to read but you can feel his eyes on you. Ron is cute, you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t a good looking guy but nobody can compare to Carl. You love Carl, and not just because he was the only one around- but for so many other reasons.

“I figured Carl would be with you.” Ron says, his voice tight. You don’t know why there is so much tension between them, they were friendly at first. But the closer you got to Ron, the more the tension between them grew. “He’s on a run with Rick and Aaron.” You say, not really paying attention to him as you continue to read. It’s a history book on some battles from the 1940s, it didn’t really strike you as interesting but it was better than sitting and doing nothing. “Oh cool, now I get to actually spend time with you.” Ron says and you look up from your book, your eyebrows pinching together. “What do you mean?” You ask Ron, who hasn’t even opened his comic book yet. Ron leans back against the wall of the treehouse, his legs stretched behind you as he looks up at you. “Well you always seem to hang around Carl.” Ron says, and he attempts to say it playfully but you can feel the tension behind it. You laugh uncomfortably, turning to focus your attention on your book. “He is my boyfriend after all, I love being around him.” You defend weakly, you’ve never been the verbal confrontation kind of person. Out of the corner of your eye you can see Ron rolling his eyes.

“That doesn’t mean Carl is the only guy in your life, I miss you y'know?” Ron says, his comic book still laying at his side- unopened. You shift uncomfortably, feeling a different kind of tension rising in the air as he slides closer to you. Your heart begins to race in your chest as you cling to your book tightly. “W-Well Carl is the only guy in my life… in um that way…” You respond, your voice quieter than it was before as you nervously stumble over your words. “He doesn’t have to be.” Ron whispers as he reaches up to tuck hair behind your ear, and you can feel his breath fanning over your cheek. You don’t answer as you glue your eyes to the page even though you’re not reading it. “What does Carl have that I don’t? What makes him worthy of getting to hear your pretty moans?” Ron whispers as he leans closer, his lips a few inches from your ear. Ron reaches forward and pulls your book from your trembling hands before resting his hand on your bare thighs. Why did you choose to wear shorts today? “I can hear you two at night, I can hear you moaning for him. Begging for him- but I know you’re only doing that to make him happy. You’re too kind Y/N because I know you want me, I know how your body reacts when I’m around. I’ll bet you’re dripping through those little shorts right now aren’t you?” Ron whispers huskily, his hand sliding up your thigh.

You feel panic pulsing in your chest as you freeze in fear, the only person you have ever wanted and will ever want is Carl. “That’s not t-true!” You protest with a squeak as his hand finds the spot between your thighs reserved only for Carl. Ron chuckles as he continues to inch closer, his lips trying to find yours but you keep turning your head. “R-Ron please stop-” You gasp as you begin to squirm away from him. You expect Ron hasn’t been near many girls his age and Enid would likely cut his balls off if he tried this- but you’re too afraid to do anything to stop him. He’s bigger than you, stronger than you and walkers you can easily take down with confidence. They’re stupid, and they’re dead but people? You’ve always had a hard time dealing with people. That’s probably why he’s so sure you want him- you haven’t voiced otherwise. “Hey baby you up there?” You hear Carl call from the ground and Ron yanks away from you. Your chest is heaving as you scramble to exit the treehouse. You know you should tell Carl about what happened but you can’t, mostly because you’re afraid Carl will kill Ron. But it’s not just that, Carl is so happy here, he feels like this place could be a home. You don’t want to ruin that for him, you’ll just avoid Ron. When you drop to the ground in front of Carl you immediately press yourself into his chest, and he slowly wraps his arms around you. “You okay?” He asks, his eyes flicking up and noticing Ron sitting in the treehouse. You nod quickly, not turning to look at Ron as you grab Carl’s hand and begin pulling him away from the treehouse. “You sure everything is okay?” Carl asks, his anxiety rising as you frantically yank him away from the treehouse. You weren’t doing anything with Ron… were you?

“Y-Yeah everything is fine! How was your run?” You ask, trying to change the subject before you break and tell him what happened. You turn to give him a quick kiss as you start towards the house and you keep looking over your shoulder to make sure Ron isn’t following you. Carl’s eyebrows are pinched together, he knows something is wrong but he won’t force you to tell him. “Went fine, got some good stuff. Nothing eventful happened.” He said, his hand locked with yours as you continue to walk at a brisk pace. You finally release a breath once the door is closed behind you and when you open your eyes you see Carl looking at you with a confused expression. “What aren’t you telling me?” He asks, crossing his arms and you begin to panic. You can’t ruin this place for him, people are important to Carl and if he doesn’t trust the people here… then the security and confidence he has in this place will disappear. You want him to believe this place can be home, you don’t want to destroy that for him. “I just… I had a nightmare last night. That you got bit. I’m happy you’re home safe that’s all.” You say, your eyes glued to the ground. You feel his arms around you, pulling you into him and you hold him so tightly. You want to scrub the feeling of Ron’s hands and his dirty words off your skin, you need to feel Carl’s hands on you.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. No bites.” He says, smiling into your hair as he presses a kiss to your head. You nod and release a breath before pressing your lips to Carl’s again- taking him by surprise at your eagerness. Your hands grip the collar of his shirt as you deepen the kiss and Carl’s hands land on your hips. You press your chest into his and you feel his breath hitch when you reach down to grab him through his jeans. Carl’s hands press against your shoulders and force you back, “woah just- hold on. You never jump me like this.” He says, concern etched into his face as he looks down at you. Your chest is heaving as you hold him tightly, “I need you. I’ve been so wet all day… please…” You beg, not wanting to tell him the real reason behind your want for his cock. Carl groans when you say that and he reaches down to hoist your legs around his waist. “What if we get caught?” He mumbles between kisses as he heads to the stairs to go up to his bedroom. You begin pressing kisses to his neck as you bite and suck the spot you know makes his knees weak, “then whoever catches us is gonna get one hell of a show.” You smirk as you can feel his growing bulge. Carl carries you into his room and kicks the door shut behind him before he drops you onto the bed.

“Let's hope it’s not my dad.” Carl smiles as he leans over you, his lips finding yours. His hands find yours and trap your hands above your head as he grinds his cock into your clothes pussy, causing a moan to escape your lips. “No let’s hope it’s not my brother or you’ll get an arrow in the ass.” You laugh and Carl winces at the thought of Daryl catching the two of you. You try to free your wrists but Carl holds them tightly, “be a good girl and keep your hands above your head before I have to tie them to the bed.” Carl warns as he releases you and you can feel a rush of arousal head straight to your core. You love it when Carl gets dominant and rough in bed. You bite your lip as you keep your hands where he left them even though you itch to disobey him, just to see what he’d do. Carl reaches down and slowly unbuttons your shorts before pulling the zipper down at an agonizingly slow pace. “Faster baby, I need you in me like now.” You whine as you wiggle your hips, hoping to hurry him up. Carl’s eyes are dark as he looks up at you, “don’t rush me, good girls wait.” He says as he slowly pulls your shorts down. You groan and throw your head back impatiently. Carl tosses your shorts aside and presses a kiss to each of your hip bones before reaching for your panties. You curl your fists into the sheets, trying not to move or rush him because you know if you do he’ll only go slower.

Carl’s pupils blow wide open once he sees your glistening folds, “you really are needy for me huh baby? Look how wet you are.” He hums as he runs a finger through your folds and you whine as your hips buck up. With his other hand Carl presses your hips back to the mattress before giving you a look, “stay still.” He orders, his voice stern and you bite your lip and nod. He returns his attention to your pussy as he slowly pushes two fingers inside you and your eyes roll back. He begins a steady pace of slowly and gently thrusting his fingers into you and you feel the heat rising in your body. When he curls his fingers inside you, you keen into his touch as you bite your lip to quiet yourself. “I want to hear those pretty lips moan for me baby.” Carl says, his voice low and husky as he watches you unravel at his touch. You back arches as his pace quickens, “oh fuck Carl- faster baby.” You beg and he obliges, his fingers beginning to thrust inside you quicker. You begin to pant when his thumb comes to roll small circles over your clit, sending jolts of pleasure to shoot through you. “Baby please don’t stop!” You cry out, your hands nearly ripping the sheets as you curl your fists tighter. You feel yourself getting closer and closer and when Carl harshly thrusts his fingers into you, your coming around his fingers.

He pulls off you and wipes his fingers on his jeans before he tosses you your clothes. “Baby I need your cock now.” You beg shamelessly as he turns to reach for his hat. Carl smiles as he leans over to press a kiss to your lips, “we can’t fuck in the middle of the day Y/N. We will get caught, I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise.” He smiles and you groan as you pull your clothes on, he’s right and you know it. Carl laughs at the pout on your face, giving your ass a slap as you walk out of his bedroom. “You coming?” You ask him as he lingers in his bedroom, you see his eyes scanning the room for something. “Yeah, I just need to find my knife. Be down in a bit.” Carl smiles before kissing you quickly. You skip down the stairs and feel arms around your waist, you try to scream for Carl but a hand slaps over your mouth. “Be quiet.” You hear Ron whisper as he pulls you to the kitchen, away from the stairs. You feel the fear creep into your chest as he pushes you against the wall, his hand still over your mouth. “I heard those sounds you made for him, they were forced weren’t they? You want me, I can feel the heat between your legs Y/N. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure, I know my cock is bigger than Carl’s…” He whispers lustfully into your ear, before pressing a chaste kiss to your neck. You struggle slightly against him, your eyes wide as he looks into them. When you hear steps down the stairs, Ron pulls away from you and casually moves to sit on the counter as Carl comes around the corner.

“Woah, Ron uh hey?” He says, jumping slightly as he wasn’t expecting Ron to be here. You’re still leaning against the wall, your chest heaving as you gape over at Carl. “Just wanted to say hey, heard you went on a run today.” Ron says, looking at Carl and completely ignoring you. Your heart continues to race in your chest as you feel panic just being in the same room as Ron, he’s dangerous. Carl’s eyes glance between you and Ron, “yeah I did…” He trails off as you brush past him and to the front door. You need air, and you need to get away from Ron. Carl looks back at Ron, “everything okay?” He asks, crossing his arms and Ron smiles. This is exactly what he wanted, he wants Carl to doubt you. “Dunno, when she came down the stairs her shorts were unbuttoned. She asked if I wanted to see her new thong.” Ron said with a shrug and Carl felt nauseous. So something is going on between you and Ron. Carl nods numbly as he turns to lean against the couch. You’re cheating on him aren’t you… with Ron. Carl feels anger boil in his chest as he looks up at Ron, “are you fucking my girlfriend?” He snaps and Ron’s eyes widen. He bites back a smile as he looks at Carl in shock, “she’s your girlfriend? She never told me you were together.” He says, not answering Carl’s question. Carl feels his heart drop as he turns and heads back up the stairs, he can’t be around either of you right now.

When the door opens you turn and your anxiety spikes when you see Ron. He winks at you as he skips down the stairs and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You know you have to tell Carl, Ron is starting to scare you. You don’t know how far he will go, you don’t feel safe. You enter the house and when you don’t see Carl you head up the stairs, and see his door closed. “Baby?” You say loudly before you open the door, and you see him sitting on his bed, not bothering to look over at you. “Carl there’s something I need to tell you-” You start but he stands and when he looks at you, the anger and pain on his face is unmistakable. “So you are sleeping with Ron.” He snaps, crossing his arms and your eyebrows shoot up. You shake your head as you try to take a step towards him, but Carl steps away from you. “What? Carl no I swear I’m not! I don’t know what Ron said but it’s not true.” You try to explain but he laughs bitterly as he turns away from you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Oh really? Because he didn’t even know you were my girlfriend.” Carl snapped and you felt your heart break, were. “Am I not your girlfriend now?” You ask weakly and Carl doesn’t answer as he continues to face the window. You feel lightheaded as you stand numbly in the doorway, is Carl breaking up with you? “Carl he… he touched me.” You whisper but Carl’s head snaps over to look at you. “Touched you how?” He asked, and you can see the anger building in his eyes. You look down at the floor as your cheeks flush and tears build in your eyes, “b-between my legs and he kissed my neck. I didn’t want him to, whatever he said it was a lie.” You say softly, the tears beginning to trickle down your cheeks. You look up and see Carl’s fists curled and his chest is heaving and there is a dangerously angry look on his face, “he touched you… without your permission?” He asks, his voice tight and you nod slowly. As soon as you nod he’s out the door and heading down the stairs with you not far behind him.

“Carl, don’t hurt him it’s not worth it.” You beg as he storms down the street, heading right to Ron’s house. The dark look in his eyes tells you that he’s not really listening to anything you’re saying. You have to jog to keep up with him as he storms up the porch and straight into the house without knocking. “Carl please,” You plead again as Carl nearly runs up the stairs and down the hall to Ron’s room. Carl throws open Ron’s door, and Ron jumps up from his bed- a shocked look on his face. “Hey man you good?” He asks but Carl is already swinging his fist into Ron’s left cheek. Ron stumbles back, holding his face as it begins to swell. Carl storms towards him and takes his knife out, pressing it to Ron’s throat. “You ever touch her again and I will kill you, you even look at her the wrong way and this knife is going into the base of your skull.” Carl growls before he shoves Ron backwards. When Carl turns you see a panicked look on Ron’s face, and Carl grabs your hand and pulls you out of the house. Carl pulls you down the street, his pace hasn’t slowed since he left Ron’s house. “You should have told me.” Carl snapped and you can tell he’s angry. “I-I’m sorry!” You stammer but he doesn’t calm at all. Carl yanks you into the house and up the stairs.

“You kept it from me, made me worry.” Carl snaps as he slams his bedroom door closed behind you. You stay quiet as he releases your wrist, “you made me think you were fucking him.” He says, his voice low. When he turns to look at you, you can’t help the wave of arousal that rushes through you. Carl takes 2 long strides and is standing in front of you, pushing you by your shoulders, “on your knees.” He instructs and you immediately drop to your knees in front of him. Your hands reach up to unbuckle his belt, the trembling making it hard as you pull the belt through the loops of his jeans. Carl doesn’t say a word as you unbutton his jeans, “baby I’m sorry. I should have told you.” You whisper as you look up at him. You know he’s angry but his eyes soften as he reaches down to stroke your cheek, “baby you seem to have forgotten the rules. You never keep anything from me, and you belong to me. I think you need to be reminded who fucks you the way you like it every night.” Carl says, his voice sweet but his eyes dark with lust. Your breath hitches in your throat as your body gets hot with lust, you squirm a bit as you free his cock. It slaps up against his stomach, the head red and leaking as it pulses. You open your mouth, waiting for him. You know what kind of mood he’s in. Carl grips the back of your head as he slowly thrusts his cock into your mouth, a groan falling past his lips. “You’re mine.” Carl grunts as he begins to thrust into your mouth. You let your jaw go slack and you relax your throat, to allow him to go as deep as he wants to.

“Only I get to touch you.” Carl says, his voice low and you know he’s talking more to himself then you. Your hands rest on your thighs as Carl’s hands gently wind into your hair, his thrusts getting rougher. Tears spring in your eyes due to him constantly hitting your gag reflex, and drool begins to dribble down your chin. “Fuck baby, you take my cock so well.” He groans as his hips begin to stutter and you know he’s close to coming. His hands grip your hair tightly and soon you feel him coming in your mouth. Once you’ve swallowed every last drop Carl pulls you up and yanks your shorts and panties down your legs. “Bend over.” He says harshly and you immediately bend over his bed, your ass up for him. Carl runs a hand over your ass as he runs his tip up and down your folds. After a moment of him not doing anything you turn your head to complain when his hand comes down on your ass, leaving a stinging sensation that has you dripping down your thighs. “You wear these sexy shorts for Ron baby?” Carl asks, his hand coming down on your ass again. You gasp as you smile, you shake your head as your forehead presses into the bed. “No baby, I wear them for you. Only you, I promise.” You whine and his hand comes down on your other cheek, and you moan. “Who makes you feel like this?” Carl asks and you admit, jealousy looks really good on him.

“You baby, you do!” You cry out as he spanks you again. Your cheeks are bright red and stinging when Carl soothingly rubs a hand over them, and you’re panting. You feel Carl press the head of his cock into your folds and then he stops, “beg for it.” He demands, his hands coming to rest on your hips. “Please fuck me, please I’ll never talk to Ron again I promise. Baby I need your cock, I’ve needed your cock all day please fuck me, only you make me feel this good only you.” You plead and Carl hums in satisfaction as he swiftly enters you in one thrust. You gasp as your fingers curl around the blankets. Carl begins to thrust into you hard and fast, leaving you a panting, moaning mess underneath him. “Who do you belong to?” Carl grunts as he continues his brutal pace and you whine, “y-you baby.” You moan, your body jerking with every sharp thrust. “Yeah baby that’s right, you’re mine. Only I get to fuck this pussy got it?” He snaps and your mouth hangs open when he reaches under to thumb your clit. “Y-yeah baby only you…” You gasp as you feel yourself nearing your end. “Baby please can I come?” You beg, knowing you need his permission before he’ll let you. Carl continues to thrust into you, sweat trickling down the side of his face, “yeah baby come around my cock. I want to feel you,” Carl groans, his voice softer than before. As soon as the words leave his mouth you’re squeezing around him and crying out into the mattress as you gush around him. “Fuck I’m gonna come…” Carl moans and you whine feeling him sliding in and out of you, “come inside me baby.” You beg, you need to feel his come inside you. With a few more sharp thrusts Carl is coming inside you, his hips stuttering before they stop. The both of you are panting and covered in a sheen layer of sweat as he slowly pulls out of you, and you whine feeling so empty.

You roll over to lay on your back and Carl collapses next to you. “He didn’t touch you under your clothes did he?” Carl asks, his hand finding yours and you shake your head. “No, he more… brushed me on the outside of my shorts.” You tell him and he nods before turning his head to press a kiss to your sweaty forehead. You snuggle into his chest, “you should have told me. I would have done something sooner.” Carl whispered, and you know he feels guilty… like this is his fault somehow. You press a kiss to his collarbone as you look up at him, “I know. I just didn’t want you to feel like we weren’t safe here.” You explain and Carl squeezes you to him tighter. “All I care about is keeping you safe, I love you. If he ever tries anything again, promise you’ll tell me.” He says, looking into your eyes. You lean up and press a long, slow kiss to his lips. “I love you, and I promise. I’ll tell you. But maybe I shouldn’t if it means you’ll fuck me like that in the middle of the day.” You smirk and Carl groans, his hand pinching his nose. “They definitely heard us.” He whines and you laugh.

“Daryl is gonna kill me.”

#walking dead #walking dead imagine #walking dead smut #carl grimes #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes smut #ron anderson #carl x reader #carl x reader smut

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