#also i kind of realized that while i love my story-focused games my preferred actual Playstyle is just wandering around in these beautiful

[prototypelq]

Very curious about this one from the game ask game:

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

A mutual after my own heart, are you?)

I'll do a small confession here - I love gaming, I love playing all kinds of things, but I don't do it nearly as much as I know of them. So I might start to sound a bit like a broken record by mentioning some familiar titles

If I had to choose one, I would, predictably, say Outer Wilds. This won't be a surprise for anyone who played the game, and if you, for some reason haven't yet - good, don't look anything up, and please try it out for yourself. If you, for some reason, can't or don't want to play it yourself, I recommend looking up an essay, either one of the dozens on this game (there will honestly never be enough). Personal favourite would be The Song at The End of All Times. I don't want to go into anything further than this in fear of spoiling someone, but I think from the title of the essay you can guess where this is going.

Let's just say space westerns are my jam) Finishing this game was incredible, and I was in a kind of limbo for some time afterwards. I don't think I would be the same person I am today without it, not really. I also watch every single essay on this game that I come across, because you only really get to experience this game once, and then desperately wish to do so again somehow. Watching essays is the closest you can come close to that feeling ever again. The game is a perfect space exploration game - it will make you experience the dread and joy of cosmos like no other, it can be depressing and feel oppressive at times, but the story of the game, while bittersweet, is fundamentally built upon hope. So, while the ending shakes you to the core, it does so with the goal of sharing something intimately beautiful with you.

Another game I can think of that has story which affected me a lot, but which I haven't played myself (not sure I could ever play it really) would be SOMA. This game introduced me fulltime to existential horror, and apparently I am a sucker for it.

The game has a lot of philosophy tied to it, and it had me thinking about it all for literal weeks. The 'horror' name-part might be misleading, as this game and its' story is not about scaring you with monsters or jumpscares (although those exist in the game and that's why I'm never playing it, I would NOT be able to handle that), it's, uh... about literal horror of existence? Anyway, you'll get what it's about if you look up anything about the game, I saw a cutscene ('gamemovie') cut of it and oh boy, the voice acting sells everything perfectly. The writing is insanely good, there's a reason people still keep talking about the game.

Cyberpunk 2077 also kind of steps a little into that territory. While I couldn't play that game because CDPR are bastards, I had a lot of fun looking into the endings of that game as well as the lore of the cyberpunk universe.

Not-really spoilers paragraph ahead

basically by the time the protagonist, V, figures out what to do with the chip with AI-personality of Johnny Silverhand in their head, that has been taking over their body for the entirety of the game, it is too late to really do anything about it, and V is doomed to be overwritten out of his own body. There is an interpretation of different endings for the game as different stages of grief (selling yourself as a guinea pig to try to get experimental treatment - denial, single-handedly storming the corporation that owns the chip - anger, etc.) and I loved that insight, especially because for the player, these are not really as transparent as may seem. The game does a good job of installing into you the idea of dying and the fear of death, and the endings are basically the forked roads which player can take in their limited time to try to deal with it. It's very personal, and I think the writing team at CDPR did an amazing job for this game. The most striking of them all, and one that surprised me the most, was the suicide ending. When V and Johnny finally end up at that 'final fork' where they have to choose a path to their grand finale, they have to consider their options. All of these endings have a price, and none of them guarantee a solution - it's either selling yourself out to a corporation for experimentation, storming a corporation single-handedly or with help, and chances to die in getting to any of these is very high. You can rope in some friends for help you get to the solution, but again, there likely is no way out of this for you, and this puts your friend on a firing line right up with you. So, V can die a slow and torturous death because of the chip, die trying to do the impossible and/or force his friends into it, or. Or the game allows you to end it all, right now, without additional pain for you or any casualties. Hence, the suicide ending. All game credits, regardless of the chosen ending, have companions and friends calling V and leaving him a message. In messages for the Suicide ending it's...all of them crying in anger and hurt and feeling betrayed. One of them calls only to realize 'Shit, I can't do this', starts howling and ends the call. Those voice messages are genuinely heartbreaking to listen to.

That. That is one powerful ending to experience.

...would it be cheating to add DMC5 here? I don't think it will be news to anyone xD This didn't leave me a wreck like the others, but I love how surprisingly wholesome and sweet the story ends in this game about blood, gore and demon hunting. I love the fandom, I arguably love the fandom more than I do the game, but the game is also great, and it deserves a lot of praise for that, sparda loser twins my beloved)

Pyre ending resonated with me a lot as well. Won't go into any detail here, basically the game is a perfect blend of a roleplaying and a visual novel. This means you have a lot of free space to bond with your companions, this game is very much about the path, and not the destination. However, the destination sells the impact of your time spent with each companion.

Unlike most standard rpgs, there is no really 'good' or 'bad' ending for the characters. The path you took will dictate the circumstances of their life in the future, and they will have to just deal with it. There is no weight placed on the player character of 'making their lives better', quite honestly because you really can't. So every ending for them is just, a character being in one place, or the other, and them continuing their life from there. I love this, and the credits song Bound Together, which is Gorgeous as all Darren Korb&Ashley Barrett tracks are, reflects the path you took and time you spent with your companions by changing the lyrics of the song to fit your version of events. One of the videos about the game is called 'How Pyre Sings Your Story' and the game really does exactly that - sings your own personal story. It's beautiful.

Transistor stuck with me too, not just because of the soundtrack, but because it is a very wholesome romance story. Tragic as hell at the beginning (We All Become - as the opening song of the game), but I guess Supergiant's love their bittersweet endings, and credits songs that emotionally devastate me (We All Become morphs into -> Paper Boats).

Terra Nil is another weird game I wanted to add here. I didn't change my life or anything, but it did provide me a unique perspective. The game was marketed as 'reverse city-builder', I would characterize it as a 'climate-change solar-power fantasy'.

Horizon games setting of a post-post-apocalypse (meaning= the future after immediate post-apocalypse= meaning far future after an apocalypse) speaks volumes to me on a level of hope for life in general - that life will always persist, in any way shape or form, it will always continue to surprise and amaze you, it's just the matter of if humanity will live to see it in the future. Terra Nil would be a reverse of that mentality - what it would feel like to have the power to help mother nature recover and let it thrive again. The game has you use green-science-based technology to refertilize soil, clean pollution from water, manipulate the landscape into distinct biomes and introduce different animals into the according environment, the newfound ecosystem stabilize on its own, then your job is to recycle everything you've built to leave this land clear of external devices and leave it to thrive on it's own. This makes the gameplay feel extremely wholesome and hopeful, usually the solarpunk genre is a static image of an unattainable future - a pretty motivating picture, but without any depth to it. Terra Nil shows how our technology and power could be used for good. I think the moment that kind of broke me a little, was when in a later level, I had to dredge up land from the bottom of the ocean to create a continental ecosystem, and this unearthed nuclear pollution which quickly undid a lot of my work on like, half the map. The game then gave me access to sunflower seeds, because they have the actual power to safely suck up nuclear pollution, and save the ecosystem I was trying to build. I had to genuinely pause the game and go get a tea or something in that moment, that was so beautiful I teared up.

This game can actually be quite educational - it makes you really think about the necessity of each part of an ecosystem, that every animal, every plant, every water source - all of them are important for the whole ecosystem. The gameplay teaches you to look at a dumpsite and think up about how can you make a complete and thriving ecosystem out of it. The gameplay requires you thinking up ahead some steps, and that can be a bit challenging at first, but the game is very lenient with the difficulty. Although, if you are trying to introduce all the rarer and more niche animals into the system - prepare for some tries and errors, this will prove a nice tactical challenge.

I also just learned Terra Nil was nominated by several committees for 'Social Impact' award and Yes this game absolutely deserves it. Also the developers have donated quite a sum to the Endangered Wildlife Trust, and it's extremely nice of them.

[toolazytodecide]

writer questions!

nobody tagged me but I love this crap and am technically a writer so lets do it.

1. what’s your favourite genre to write?

Oooooo romance obviously, but more specifically I like writing fics that focus a lot on character analysis? 

2. do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfic?

I write a lot of AUs, but I do get a lot of inspiration from songs. I’ll also work in headcanons I see on tumblr and stuff 

3. do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

I always want to write multi-chapter fics, but struggle to finish them. It’s a goal of mine to write more one shots instead of dedicating myself to 20k+ fics.

4. do you prefer description or dialogue?

DIALOGUE!!! I used to be obsessed with writing texting fics which gave me a lot of experience with dialogue, while leaving my description skills to suffer.

5. favourite fanfic/book of all time?

Bro. Impossible question, but my current favourite book is The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. My favourite series is Six of Crows or  The Raven Cycle. 

As for fics...I’m gonna forget so many BUT I’ll give you one for each of my top ships on AO3

1. Andrew and Neil (All for the Game):  Those That Broke Us by  WriteThroughTheNight  ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/9095254:)

 This is atypical for me since it’s not romance focused, but is rather focused on Neil’s trauma from his mother and him realizing that the way she treated him was not okay. 

Also shoutout to every “andreil fake rivalry fic” it is one of the few times I read established relationship and I eat it up every time.

2: Adam and Ronan (The Raven Cycle): while we're on the subject, could we change the subject now by  shinealightonme (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643005)

A truly adorable neighbour AU. Honestly Pynch was one of the toughest to pick a favourite for. 

3. Mickey and Ian (Shameless): I couldn’t decide between Fucked for Life by  Awritersmind (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21800806/chapters/52022443) 

An interesting twist on the coffee shop AU where Mickey and Ian fall in love as adults rather than teens. 

I read this a while ago, but I was OBSESSED it made me fall in love with the idea of Artist! Mickey and I loved how they wrote his relationship with his sister Mandy.

 and None the wiser by Loftec

 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856489/chapters/11128907

Again I read this a while ago, but it is a diner AU and just utterly delightful. I love reading fics where Mickey had a good relationship with his son and this is is a really good one. 

4: Remus and Sirius (Harry Potter)- My actual favourite Wolfstar fic has disappeared and is a Greatest British Bake off AU where Remus has fibromyalgia so if you know where to find it please let me know. 

BUT a close second is Text Talk by  merlywhirls (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651109/chapters/3501239)

If I’m having a shitty day I’m re-reading Text-talk. it’s that simple. It’s a wrong number AU where they muggles in the modern day and Remus is home schooled due to his health.

5: Boris and Theo (The Goldfinch)- They Fuck (it up) by  colish3

( https://archiveofourown.org/works/33547123/chapters/83356504) 

A gorgeous fic about Theo dealing with the aftermath of the book, and maybe accepting his feelings for Boris. 

6: Ben and Devi (Never Have I ever)- all the magic we gave off by  transfiguredtoad

Bevi trying their best to not still be into each other while in other relationships. Super addicting tbh. 

6. favorite trope?

Wrong number! Enemies to Lovers! Fake Dating! There was only one bed! I’m a simple girl tbh. when writing I especially like writing about chronic illness but idk if that counts as a trope.

7. are you the kind of person to work on more than one wip?

Not successfully. If I start another fic the first one won’t be touched again til I’ve finished my new fic if ever again. 

8. how long have you been writing for?

Since I was 14 so almost 9 years, but that has definitely not been continuous. I’ve gone years without writing anything.

9. do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening?

I get an idea and write whenever I can until it’s either done or I’ve gotten distracted rather than having a set time of the day. 

10. do you prefer to post your wip chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your wip is 100% finished before posting?

I prefer to finish everything first because I’ve found I won’t finish otherwise. Besides I like being able to go back and change stuff. 

im tagging  @furoruisa and  @siriuslynotovermarauders   🙈  feel free to ignore this if it aint your thing. I also challenge anyone else who wants to give it a try.

#tag game

[dragonologist-phd]

As a fellow Aeducan player, give me all the 6s please😌

ah thank you! I love rambling about my lovely Marja!

In fact, I love rambling so much I'm gonna put this under a cut, cuz it gets long:

6. Do they have a preferred weapon they always use?

asdfghjkl yes and there's actually a lot of overthinking and symbolism(tm) behind the weapons she uses throughout the game.

Marja is a warrior, and in Orzammar she mainly used swords- greatswords were favorite, but she was also well-trained in sword & shield, and usually wore those weapons for ceremonial events and public appearances. They were all family weapons, and she was very proud to wear her ancestral shield even if it wasn't her preferred style.

Once exiled, of course, she lost all of that, and ended up returning to two-handed weapons. She got a battleaxe in Ostagar that she was immediately very fond of, and she continued to use weapons of the same style throughout her journey.

When she went back to Orzammar, however, she steadfastly refused to use anything but sword & shield. She was determined to gain her honor back, and a big part of that was wearing the Aeducan shield to remind everyone of who she was. She was also just having a huge identity crisis through that whole thing, but long story short is that her shield ended up getting destroyed in battle while protecting Darvis, and she was so distracted at the time she didn't even notice.

She briefly considered getting it repaired, but finally decided to leave it behind, as by that point she'd finally accepted that there was no way for her to return to the way things had been. She's been back to using her battleaxes ever since!

6. Which aspects of the culture they were born into holds the most significance for them?

For Marja, it's dwarven ideals of strength and honor. Marja was raised to never show weakness to anybody, and that still has a big effect on how she interacts with people

She's also big on the dwarven idea of honor- she hates breaking promises or resorting to underhanded tactics, and once someone breaks their oath or shows themselves as untrustworthy, she can be a bit ruthless in delivering justice. It's a bit of an eternal paradox- she knows that dwarven politics aren't as honorable as they claim to be, and but she really wants to be above all that, and to actually uphold the lessons she's been taught all her life

6. Do they have a love interest? How did their relationship start?

Marja had a relationship with Leliana- it kind of snuck up on her, and she didn't realize she was crushing on her until they had a moment together in Redcliffe. Leliana comforted Marja after the whole Connor debacle, and ended up confessing her backstory. Marja was really touched that Leliana trusted her with that, then realized how pretty she was, and then she was goner XD

The relationship didn't last- the two weren't a good fit for each other long-term, and Marja ended up kind of self-sabotaging the relationship while she was spiraling in Orzammar. It was messy for a bit, but they do still care about each other a lot

And eventually, Marja ended up in relationship with Sigrun! She was much more resistant to that relationship, as she was afraid of messing up again, but gradually she let down her walls, and the two of them are very happy

6. How do they feel about dragons?

Not a fan. They remind her too much of the archdemon.

6. What did they name their Mabari?

In my 'canon', Darvis was the who ended up imprinted with the mabari; he named it Nug, much to Marja's annoyance. She eventually got a mabari puppy of her own after the Blight, which she named Astyth!

Anyway, if anyone read all that and still wants more Marja, I never pass up an opportunity to shamelessly promote my fic Of Diamonds And Dust, which focuses on her and Darvis Brosca as Wardens!

[dsknsk]

Games I have played in 2023

These are the games I have started with playing this year (so not the games I've continued playing in 2023).

AI: The Somnium Files

Played in: January

An extremely good story-driven game. The way the world exploration works, despite it mainly being point-and-click really did make for something different from what I was used to. I did use a guide but I deliberately left some parts for myself to explore.

The game is not without certain difficult parts. Since the bulk of the game (and the most novel things that set it apart) consist out of exploring dreams, the solutions to the puzzles you solve within those dreams also consist of dream logic. If you're not using a guide like me, I can imagine it's something you can get stuck on.

As a second, you are on a time limit of 6 minutes and actions cost time, even though standing still also dilutes time. Actions done are marked as the words become greyed out, and even though it is nowhere stated, you can repeat those actions (but it isn't necessary). In fact, the first screenshot was taken because I only had gotten the solution to that particular part when I realize you can (and have to)) repeat a certain action. Also, because that part was extremely tight on time so I was quite content with being able to clear it with a minute left on the clock.

As a third, there are quick-time events and in my case, sometimes they didn't react to the key I had to press, leading to a failure. However (I'm not sure what causes it), a quick save and restart of the game caused the quick-time event to bind to another key, saving my game quite a few times.

This game is like I said story-driven and it does have an extremely well-written story, especially for its time. It did drive me to create all sorts of stupid theories while I was still halfway through and I love how they implemented Egyptian mythology ever so subtle in the story.

AI: The Somnium Files - Nirvana Initiative

Played in: January

Now this game is the direct(?) sequel to the previous game. Speaking about its price, it had a steep increase in price when compared to its prequel, but to be fair, I had bought its prequel when it was on sale and it cost like 10 euros (even less than your typical book). This game cost me at least 5 times as much as that.

While I am happy I have finished this game and known the story it told, I can't help but feel like I preferred part 1. Even so, I really liked playing as Mizuki this time around and because almost all of the old mechanics were still there (including a reference to an old joke back in the prequel) it was less hard than part 1. That aside, it also had difficulty controls to allow me to focus more on the story rather than stress over quick time events.

There's a lot to be said about the story, I know. While some twists confused me and I didn't like all of them, I can still say...it's fine, you know. It's especially fine in itself. And I can't help but confess that Mizuki's character at least inspired one original character of mine.

Also, my sideblog is named after her as it's named dtmzk. Just in case you didn't notice.

Limbus Company

Played in: February (start)

With all that has gone down, it is kind of hard to realize that this game only was released in February of this year.

It gave me something to do again and it certainly didn't disappoint. Somehow I have a knack for only sticking with media that have a good storytelling because I certainly regard this franchise's storytelling as one of the very best. There is actually quite a minimalistic cast that the story focuses on (12, plus MC and two guides) but by discovering every main character's story one by one you get to know them better bit by bit.

The battle, which I have portrayed above, may start out as daunting but in its bare basics it is rather simple. I would not say it is stat fight, even though stats have a level of importance. Bigger number beats smaller number, and there are factors to manipulate your number. But it is very clear that either you are stomping the enemy or getting stomped, and there is very few in between.

Is that bad? No. It simplifies things for the newcomer, and lessens the things you actually need to focus on. It may seem like much, but the basics are so simple that after some fights you can certainly get the hang of it.

I love how the sprites move, especially in normal fights when everyone goes to duke it out together. They have swift animation, yet their battle motions (which have a fraction of a second between them due to them being tied to coinflips) are actually telegraphed and thus rhythmic. I love this. It immerses me in battle while also being reminded that what they do is the result of my own choices.

Book of Hours

Played in: September (start)

I love this game.

The atmosphere, the vibes and the music of this game is stellar. You're not forced to do anything, you can just sit by and relax. There is a near endless amount of things you can discover; from the hidden witty remarks in the item descriptions (check out the chickens in the chicken coop!) to the secret puzzle with the busts in the hallway, to the seasons being tied to what you can find on the beach: there's pretty much always something to do.

And you learn skills from books that you can learn to get higher on the skill tree you unlock. Your base path is decided by the elements you choose at the start (I'm a Twiceborn) but you're in no way forced to follow that path.

Currently, I am at the endgame, but I love this game so much that I don't want it to end. I want to keep exploring, keep immersing myself in this world more and more. When this game was released, I have bought this game which causes a very nice side-effect of all future DLCs (implying that they intend to make them!) will be free for me. This was a very nice bit of courtesy from the creators and I really like that bit as well.

Reverse:1999

Played in: October (start)

This is my current sidegame. And it performs really well as being a sidegame. It's very polished, because despite it being a game that doesn't use 3d models all that much, the battle mechanics are smooth and easy to use, so it doesn't have much of a learning curve. In fact, the mechanic of using and fusing cards really reminds me of Hyde & Seek, where it was also integral.

However, as it stands...I don't have much of a drive to go back. The story...while definitely quite unique (it's not the same dystopian alternate universe many gacha games have nowadays), it and its universe...kind of failed to get a grip on me. The characters, while few of them are in the main story themselves, have lore to them, but it is brought in such an abstract manner that I haven't been able to bind myself to them. They're more or less just concepts from the real world, condensed into characters.

Does this mean the story and the characters are bad? No. The story will certainly have people who love it, and the same goes for the characters. There is a multitude of languages you can choose from in which the game will be dubbed (I chose Japanese, of course) and that's also the bit that I would really like to be added - a note which voice actor actually voices the character! I'm not sure if I just haven't found it, but I've found that to be a little bit of a lack.

Another note is that the player is forced to play as a female character. This is more personal, but I prefer to either be able to choose, or play as a character with they/them pronouns, like the Doctor from Arknights. I don't have much issue with playing a male character, as long as he doesn't get a harem of female characters. Being forced to play as a female character, however, triggers my dysphoria a little bit too much for me to still be immersed in the story. (Mizuki was an exception because my dysphoria wasn't that heavy as it is now back in January.)

Despite all of this, the battle system is for me the best part of the game and it's really well executed in itself.

I will certainly keep checking out more games in 2024, depending on which ones catch my interest enough.

[nursc-a2]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾                    @highaver​ asked: [ 🎵 ] is there a specific song or songs you associate with your muse? why is that?

at the moment i wrote this i had 9 different playlists for christine, all of them focused on one moment of her life, or an aspect of her personality.   i actually have so many thoughts about christine and music, some of the songs i’ve picked for her have helped me flesh out her character and i usually need some music in the background to access her muse.

i think i’m going to focus on two different aspects of her which have very specific songs connected to them.    first, her childhood.

in the show we only got one quick mention.    at first i didn’t really pay attention to it, more focused on more recent events like her schooling and her time with starfleet.    christine mentions being bullied, of a girl calling her stupid.    i already had a brief headcanon of her being autistic, but this moment cemented it  —   christine struggling as a child to act like the girls her age, how to communicate properly.   she has so much going on in her head, she was either babbling non-stop or being completely silent as she lost herself to a world only she could visit.

a lot of j. maya songs reflect this sort of childhood/existence.

to me this moment is canon for christine.   young and afraid of the strange world around her that she doesn’t really understand, but she understands stories, and she loves fairytales and chivalry tales, is passionate about arthuriana and magic spells.

however, while the pov of the song talks about preferring to stay in her own little universe when she is an adult and realizes life isn’t like the stories she read ( excerpt below ) christine goes in the opposite direction.   she delights in not knowing, she wants to be surprised, she throws herself harder into every situation and she refuses to retreat into herself again now that she has felt how warm the real world can be:

in the same vein we have the song ms. protagonist talks about the young girl who is living in a world of imagination.

the second thing i’d like to focus is how christine is perceived /  this reading of christine is based on the song jackie onassis by sammie rae and friends.   i see christine as the girl the author is descring.    jackie in this song is fun, full of life and incredibly kind.   she sees people and she tries to help, there is something magnetic about her that draws in the author.

and that’s christine.   this is actually the song in my pinned post.   to me, that’s the song about christine when she reaches starfleet.   she is a full picture, she is no longer living in a world of imagination.   she is furiously and fully herself at almost every aspect.   there are some parts she still tries to hide, mostly involving her love life and the shame she feels surrounding her entire relationship with roger, but she is healing and that’s all that matters.

here is christine.   she is clever as hell, constantly at the top of her game.   she has a double masters and a phd, she is a full-blown scientist with her own career independent of starfleet, and when she chooses to change careers she excels there too.   she is an excellent nurse   —  there was a learning curve, she wasn’t used to dealing with patients when she got there, but by observing m’benga she started to get a better idea of how she should behave.

and she is also beautiful and alive!   she is gorgeous, a magnetic beauty   (   more starkly attractive than beautiful   )   and that beauty is enhanced by the fact she is so open and warm with everyone.   making connections, taking care of others, not just by healing but by taking their hand and running together with no destination in mind.

this image to me is also very real.    christine taking something out of her own body to give to someone else so they can smile, to give them a boost when they feel low.   the final part of these lyrics is just...  yeah, that’s seeing christine.   look at that lady.

to sum up, the top five songs i think sum up christine.

jackie onassis  -  sammie rae and friends (  perceiving christine  )

put your records on - corinne bailey rae  (   pure christine vibes   )

library card  -  j.maya   (   christine’s childhood   )

dreamer - elizaveta  (   starfleet christine’s mental headspace   )

what i like about you  -  the romantics   (    i have this song on my playlist twice that’s how much i see christine in this song   )

headcanon meme.  

[migila]

Review of Chronicles of The One -trilogy

So, it took me a few weeks to read it all, but I finished the last part of the trilogy, “Rise of Magicks”, today. 

I loved the first book, “Year One.” 

I liked how, after everything was set to motion by the Macleods, the story focused on three different groups (Lana and Max, Arlys and Fred, Katie and the medics plus the babies) without there being a clear main group. Even after realizing how important Lana and Max were for the whole trilogy and looking back at book one, I didn’t really see them being highlighted, unless you count the end of the book. 

Out of those three groups, the whole time my favorite was Arlys’ group. She and Fred, both whom I mistook for guys at first since their names sounded like they belonged to guys and I read a translated version (Finnish language doesn’t have separate words for he and she nor for him and her), simply make a great team. The level headed older sister figure and the bubbly but reliable little sister. And Chuck too, though I like Fred and Arlys more than him. And things got fun when they joined Katie’s group since, you know, Fred and the babies. At first I thought that that would cause trouble if Katie got protective, but looks like that was one thing I didn’t need to worry about.

I liked that, despite the very first group introduced in the story, the Macleod family, dying early on, they weren’t just some disposable characters to start the story and then be completely forgotten; they still had ties to the whole story through Katie and her children. 

What I didn’t like was how Shaun, the guy whose family’s mountain cabin Max’s group was at and who got killed by Eric and Allegra in case people forgot, was never really mentioned after his death. I mean, wasn’t he a friend of Kim and Poe? Eddie’s gaming buddy? And I’m not letting Max and Lana off easy, either: they lived with him long enough for him to deserve being remembered.

If I had to name a favorite character from book one, I’d say Arlys, with Fred as a close but still clear second.

As for a favorite scene, that would probably be Max’s group arriving to New Hope.

Book two, “Of Blood And Bone”, while not exactly bad, is not quite as good as the first one.

I was skeptic about the concept of the chosen one from the beginning; it’s a cliche, and there’s a danger of it going too deep down that road. And I think it might have done so here. I’m not a fan of Fallon, and to be honest, not really of anyone else in the Swift family, either.

Instead of Fallon’s training, I preferred the scenes with the people of New Hope. It was good to see Katie’s babies more or less grown up, and believe it or not, I already called the Fred and Eddie -pairing after book one. Well, it was more of a thought of “hey, those two might end up together” than serious analyzing or actually shipping, but they did end up together. With six babies... Max, Rainbow, Angel, the youngest (that had actually been born by the end of the series) had some kind of bird’s name if I remember correctly, but the fifth... no idea. Can someone name all of Fred’s babies? I also predicted Flynn and Starr ending up together, but that one was clearly a miscalculation.

Unlike with book one, where surviving the unknown was the focus, here the battle against darkness was present more, made clearer. And that left me wondering, will we get a perspective from the dark side, perhaps in book three? While reading this one, I wasn’t too worried about the black and white world view, for I thought we’d get some change to that later.

For a favorite character in this book, I suppose that would be Starr.

For favorite scene, it would be Lana’s return to New Hope (even though I don’t like her much) and her reunion with her friends. Mallick and Fallon’s visit to the abandoned and destroyed government facility was a very well written scene, but too dark to be named a favorite.

The final, “The Rise of Magicks” was honestly a bit of a disappointment.

First of all, I’m disappointed that the black and white thinking stuck through the whole trilogy. There was no explaining the opposing side, they were just evil because they were the darkness, the opposite of light, and that’s it. That kind of thinking is more fit for children’s stories... I mean yes, even in real life there are twisted people who enjoy causing destruction for the sake of it, but they are very rare, so explaining the deeds of the dark magic users by simply going “because they’re evil” is really unimpressive. The opposite side should have at least some motive beside being evil. Fortunately, the other two opposing groups did, but since the dark forces were the final boss, I would’ve expected more build up on them.

Also, mermaids/merfolk? They’re first mentioned in book two when Fallon and Mallick go to the destroyed facility at the beach, and after that, they’re mentioned from time to time, even helping the Chosen One and her group, but no one really tells anything about them. Fairies are explained, witches are explained, shape shifters are explained and that one group that Mick was part of, is the English word elf or something, is also explained, but the people who live in the sea are just mentioned from time to time, without explaining what they’re like and what their powers are. Are there only mermaids and mermen with fish fins, or are there some scaled sea creatures with legs? Can they live on land too? Like, can the mermaids switch to legs when they want, or are there some kind of power or time rules to it? Not explaining this is a plot hole!

I expected more death and tragedy for Fallon The Chosen One, who only lost her first friend Mick. That scene was actually well written, coming out of nowhere the way it did, but the aftermath wasn’t, mostly because it wasn’t written at all. One would think that the chosen one re-finding her faith would be worthy of being shown to us, but apparently not. Bluntly put, I’d say that was a mistake. But like I said, I expected more death. Maybe Mallick dying of old age when Fallon still felt like she needed him, maybe Tonia dying due to her wounds, maybe Duncan getting swallowed by the black hole... but nope, Mick remains Fallon’s only big loss (no, we’re not counting Colin’s arm.) I suppose that could count as a surprising point of the plot in itself, though. It’s not fun if it’s so cliche that you can predict everything.

And something completely irrelevant that left a bad taste in my mouth: no one, not Eddie, Poe, Kim or Lana mention Shaun even once in books two or three. Like, what? C’mon, you guys remember your other fallen friends, what about the little nerd who died protecting Kim? I’m very disappointed in you guys.

Favorite characters? Well, that would be a tie between Dragon Queen Vivienne and the leader of those riders that Duncan meets while out, was the name Mera or something, I’m embarrassed not to remember clearly. Too many characters and too little of this one. Honestly though, at first I thought Vivienne would be evil, like maybe a friend of the bad dragon or something. For once, I’m glad to be wrong. Also, Hannah became pretty cool, too.

Favorite scene? ...Don’t know; nothing in this book really hit me the way the first two did. Maybe Max’s brief return.

Finally, what was up with the very end? Happily ever after like a freaking Disney movie...

[minteyeddevil]

Hi is it okay if I request head canons of the brothers walking in on a GNmc reading smut about them? I imagine with them being big faces there is probably some demons that have written stuff like that about them so like this can be smut or like a jokey one whatever you prefer. If you don’t do this completely understand also hope you are well really love your writing

(I can only imagine what kind of things other demons would write about them lololol xD)

Lucifer:

He walks towards MC's room, a new study book in his hand for them, as he knocks on their door and waltzes right in

He has developed this habit considering how close they are now, and he freezes when he sees MC panic and immediately hide their phone

The flush in their cheeks and awkward body language gives away that they were reading something not so appropriate, and he smirks slightly walking up to them and placing the book on the bed as he sits next to them

"May I see what you were reading, beloved?" he asks, holding his hand out expectantly

Their flush only deepens, and knowing they have fully been caught, they hand over their phone, and he turns on the screen, unlocking it right away

He reads over the words on the screen, one eyebrow raising as he speaks a certain line aloud, "The prideful demon, first born of the brothers, bent his love over his desk, burying his throbbing cock to the hilt within them. A sinful growl leaves his throat as he begins to pound into them roughly-"

MC squeals and buries their head under their pillow, begging him to stop, as he simply chuckles before leaning over them, pressing his face to their neck to kiss at their skin

"I was fully aware of the things others have written about me online, but I didn't think you would stumble across it." He teases them relentlessly, running his hands down their sides until he reaches the apex of their thighs

"If you wanted this kind of attention, all you needed to do was come to me directly, my love. I would happily live out these fantasies with you."

Mammon:

A typical day between the two of them, both lounging around Mammon's room, each doing their own things on their D.D.D.s

He's deep into a gambling gatcha game of his own when he hears MC giggling from their spot on his couch, and turns to be nosy at them

"Whatcha readin'?" he questions, crawling up next to them, but they fluster and try to keep their phone out of his hands

He wrestles with them a bit before finally getting ahold of their phone, practically sitting on them so they can't fight back to grab it from him

He reads over the screen for a bit, but his heart does a flip and a warmth spreads in his chest when he reads the line "The Avatar of Greed pins you to his bed, devouring your sex as if he was a man starved. He greedily takes your juices into his mouth, lapping and sucking at--"

He gets to his feet, throwing the phone back at MC before turning on them, completely red in the face

"W-What're ya doin' readin' stuff like that about me, huh!? Not good enough havin' the real thing in front of ya?" He openly pouts and crosses his arms in front of his chest

MC is right against him, cuddling him and kissing on him, explaining they just happened to find it and was curious as to what they had written; maybe they could get some ideas to try from the fanfiction they read~

He revels in their loving, nuzzling into their cheek and neck for a bit. "Heh, maybe it would be interestin' to try out some of the stuff they mention. How 'bout we climb int'a bed and see where it goes?"

Leviathan:

He and MC are curled up in their bed, he is playing his hand held as MC is scrolling through Devilgram on their D.D.D., their head placed in his lap

They happen upon a link to someone's writing, and when they click on it, they find that it's actually fanfiction written about Leviathan

Their eyes widen slightly as they read through some of the story, and when the color of their cheeks begin to tint is when Levi notices

"What's up? Find something weird or what?" he asks kind of absent-mindedly, until the hold up their phone for him to read the screen

"The envious third born has lusted after you for as long as he could remember. He strokes his two cocks off when imagining you underneath him, one cock buried deep in your sex while the other-"

The loudest screech leaves the demon as he pushes MC off and practically runs for their door; they give chase and follow him to his room, managing to catch the door before he shuts it in their face

They apologize for freaking him out, that they were just curious about the story; he mumbles that he knew about them all because he has seen the fanfiction before, he just hates that they found it as well

He eventually relents and let's them into his room so they can make it up to him with cuddles and kisses; though he does plan on finding a way to block those sites so MC doesn't find anymore fics of him

Satan:

The both of them are sitting in the library of RAD, studying for an upcoming test in the class they share

Satan was in the middle of writing notes while MC took a small break to mess with their D.D.D., when they happened upon a website that demons could actually post fanficiton on in the Devildom

Curious, they looked up Satan, and found many a fic written about him, clicking on one that piqued their interest

An audible gasp left them and they froze when they felt Satan's green eyes turn on them

"Something the matter?" he asked, leaning over to see what they were looking at; they tried to turn the phone away, but he caught their hand, focusing on the words displayed on the screen

"The Avatar of Wrath held no mercy for your precious hole, pressing his hard cock into you as deeply as it would go, hissing at the tightness of your walls around his shaft. His demon form began to seep out as he began to thrust hard and fast--"

They managed to pry their hand out of his, almost throwing their phone across the library in horror and embarrassment; though he simply laughed, admitting he knew that other demons wrote such things about him

He than smirked, leaning closer to them and placing a hand on their thigh as he whispered "If you would like, we could read some of these stories together, and act them out even. I don't mind fueling that imagination of yours."

Asmodeus:

He and MC were Devilgram buddies, always sharing with each other the gossip they would find when scrolling through the site

They would lay strewn across his bed, giggling with each other, MC teasing Asmo for how popular he was with all the demons of the Devildom

Though one post caught their eye when scrolling, and they couldn't help delving into the story it shared

"Oh..." they gasped, making Asmo immediately glue to their side to see what they were looking at, giving them zero time to properly react to his presence

He mimicked their 'Oh', taking the phone to read out loud: "Being the amazing Avatar of Lust, this demon knows any and all ways to pleasure his lover. To the use of his tongue and the curve of his cock, you will undoubtedly be a writhing mess beneath him when he chooses you-"

They fought for their phone back, and he happily gave it to them, wrapping his arms playfully around their waist and pulled them closer

He nuzzled their ear, mentioning that he knew he had quite the fan base, just didn't realize it went to that extent

"Does it bother you that they write in such ways about me? Don't worry, my darling, only you get to see that side me of me now!" he assured with a sweet kiss to their lips

Beelzebub:

Beel had asked MC to join him for one of his training sessions, hoping they wouldn't mind recording some of his reps from time to time

When they were recording for him, they were mindlessly scrolling, looking for something to occupy their time so they didn't just gawk at their demon boyfriend working out

Though the site they stumbled across didn't help that situation; it was riddled with stories about the Avatar of Gluttony, some much more detailed than others

They felt their cheeks flush and they bit their lip as they read, only to look up and see Beel's face a mere inch away from theirs; they yelped and dropped their phone, Beel immediately picking it up for them

"You okay, babe? You were making a weird face. Did something upset you-?" He paused when he noticed his name written on the screen, and read some of the text there after

"Beelzebub, the demon of insatiable hunger, would devour your sex, all teeth and tongue, making you cum over and over again until you are begging for him to stop. His cock is massive, your body unable to adjust to it's size-"

His face flushes just as deeply as yours does and he quickly hands your phone back to you, before actually lifting you up and carrying you out of the gym

"I didn't know there were demons that wrote that way about me," he grumbled shyly, "but, um, I wouldn't mind doing the things they wrote about to you, if you'd like."

Belphegor:

MC and Belphie are curled up in the bed of the attic, nestled under the covers, when their phone suddenly begins to go off

Belphie is the first to wake, annoyed by the shrill sound, and reaches for the device to silence it, when he notices the screen is unlocked

You must have fell asleep reading something, he notices, and being a nosy demon himself, decides to check what you were reading

"Belphegor may be the embodiment of sloth, but he has no qualms when it comes to fucking you senseless. It will be slow but rough, his cock dragging along your walls, making you squirm and cry out for him to go harder and faster. He'll make you cum hard several times before--"

He blinks a few times before looking down at MC, a devilish smirk coming to his lips as he purposefully drops their phone onto their face

They wake with a start, and turn to him annoyed, but when he crawls on top of them, their eyes widen and a wave of heat comes over their face

"Hey, why are you reading that stuff and not sharing it with me, huh? You got the real thing right in front of you, ya know. I'd be more than happy to fuck you senseless like in those stories if you wanted me to, nerd."

[compressingsins]

An Owls Cry

Requested by; @aestetikwoi (it's not highlighting your name) :(

Pairing; Hard Dom! Bokuto x chubby f!reader

Warning; Dom, virgin Bokuto, sub, virgin reader, body praise, love marks, rough sex, overstimulation, aftercare, teenage love, overstimulation makes reader cry

Summary; Bokuto is so oblivious sometimes, and you knew this when you started dating. You know you're plus sized, but why do people have to rub it in your face, when you're insecure about it.

When you invite him over to your house for a sleepover, because your parents are gone, he realizes how you're acting and then his emo mode is activated. You barely give him attention, and he takes note that you're upset.

There he is! Your boyfriend, Kotarou Bokuto, practicing with his teammates. You came in to give him his breakfast, you always make for him. Every morning, you make him breakfast that consist of meat buns, pork chops, chicken and some sides.

You know he loves meat, and you told him you didn't mind cooking for him. You two are still in school, but you act like you're already married which you both love. You wrap his lunch box with owl wrappings, and a yellow bow.

He absolutely loves it, when you do that and seeing him smile, brightens your entire day. As you were walking up, with a great big smile, you stopped once you saw some girls giving him food.

You know how he is with food, and you knew he'd accept it. Though, he looked like he was enjoying it way to much for comfort. Akaashi saw you, and gestured for you to come to them. You shrugged and awkwardly smiled before shaking your head.

He knew what the problem was, obviously. Your boyfriend is too oblivious, not even sensing that those girls are flirting with him. Akaashi glanced over to Bokuto, and then began jogging your way.

Akaashi is your bestfriend, and has been since your first year. He's the one who helped Bokuto to confess to you. Bokuto asked you halfway through your first year, so you've been together for a while.

"Goodmorning, Y/N." Akaashi smiled at you, and embraced you in a hug he always welcomes you with. "You alright?" He could see the hurt and sadness in your face.

You shrugged. "Yeah-" You looked over his shoulder to see your air headed boyfriend, still enjoying himself with other girls food. Then, you sighed and looked back at Akaashi. "-I'm fine."

This may have happened before, but you haven't seen it. "He doesn't want them Y/N-" You looked him in the eyes, knowing that's what was crossing your mind. "-he's just too oblivious to understand what flirting is." He sighed.

You knew that was the case. Your boyfriend is too focused on volleyball, to even know what certain actions are. Even with the fawning all over him, he still doesn't understand.

Though, you still have your doubts. You know guys mainly prefer slimmer girls, and that's what they are. Slim, healthy, and pretty which always make you insecure.

Akaashi knows how you feel about skinny girls around your boyfriend. He also knows that girls will practically do anything to be with Bokuto, and himself. But, he also knows that Bokuto is strung out on you.

All Bokuto ever talks about, whenever him and Akaashi are messaging, is you. You're the main topic to his life's story, and Akaashi knows it. Bokuto just doesn't know that he makes you feel this way.

He doesn't even neccesarily know about your insecurities. You've told him before, but he just forgets the next day when he practices in volleyball. You never really minded his obliviousness, you actually found it cute, but not in situations like this.

"Y/N-" Akaashi called, your eyes snapping up to his face.

"Yeah?" You asked, looking at him then slightly glancing at Bokuto. Everytime you see it, it nearly breaks you.

"You know, even though Bokuto's my bestfriend, I can say this." Your left eye hitched in a questioning manner. "I know, you're my bestfriend too but you're so beautiful, okay?"

Your heart fluttered, knowing that Akaashi was always straight forward. Though, you knew he's only your bestfriend and you're only his. That's all you two want, but sometimes Akaashi, wishes he confessed to you before Bokuto.

He was about to, but he knows Bokuto would forever be in Emo mode, if he had confessed back then. Akaashi can settle on being your bestfriend, and won't cross that line of trying to force his love on you. He appreciates your friendship, in all honesty.

He's happy you're with Bokuto, but he doesn't like it sometimes. Though, he doesn't complain. "I know, your insecurities Y/N, but you need to know that you're absolutely, beautiful."

Your lip began quivering. "No, I'm not..." You sighed, your heart nearly breaking just seeing your boyfriend still with those girls. He's still laughing with them, and hasn't even acknowledged that you were here, yet.

"Yes, you are Y/N-" Your gaze averted to Akaashi, once again. "-I'd prefer you, over any of those skinny girls." He then smirked playfully. "Your body, is like a pillow."

You chuckled and shook your head. "Well, Ko doesn't seem to like it." That phrase alone, almost made you cry. Your boyfriend loves hugging you, but sometimes you can't help but think it's for show.

Even if you been together for so long, you just can't help but let your insecurities take over. The thought of seeing him with someone else, really fucking disturbs your entire being. You've been broken too many times, therefore, this'll hurt if an on recurring theme happens again.

Your mind was stuck in a trance. An awake nightmare that only lasted thirty seconds. You didn't even notice Akaashi gently grasping your shoulder. He shook you, and then your eyes fluttered to his face. "Y/N?"

"Huh?" Confused, you were. You almost forgot what was happening, shaking your head to brush it off. "Actually, Kei..." You sighed, and smiled faintly. "I've gotta go to class y'know... before I'm late." You pointed back, as you began walking.

"You're not going to give Bokuto his breakfast?" He asked, looking at the box before back up at you. You looked down and nodded.

"Oh-" You walked closer to him, and held the box in his face. "-can you give it to him, for me? I don't wanna..." You sighed and looked over at Bokuto. "...go over there, with them."

He grabbed the box and looked at it, "Uh... sure, Y/N." He looked up at you, as you smiled slightly before turning. You were about to leave until you heard...

"HEY HEY HEY, Y/N!" Bokuto nearly shouted and ran to you with open arms. You didn't even turn to him, only letting him embrace you and hold you in the air.

You smiled a little at this, but you didn't let it be seen. Those girls, however, didn't like what they were seeing. Akaashi knows those girls a game and plan.

They only want to get with Bokuto, so they can have fame around the school. Being the ace's girlfriend, is something to kind of brag about. You however, didn't care for school fame and popularity.

Those girls did, though. Most of them try to use Bokuto to get close to Akaashi, and he knows it. He doesn't want them though, so he just focuses on his grades and volleyball.

"Hey, Ko..." You chuckled a little, when he turned you to face him. Now face to face, he's still holding you up in the air. His arms around your back, squeezing you slightly. His smile was like no other, always brightening your days.

Those yellow eyes were always piercing your heart, filling it to the max with more love you could ever have had for him. "Hey babe!" Bokuto kissed you, which you returned with passion.

You're still sad, but you don't want him to see you unhappy. You know he'll be in his sad mode, which you don't like seeing. Though, you think it's cute but when he sees you, it instantly goes away.

The kiss was quick, but it was elegant and sweet. You pulled away and he smiled, once more brightly. He let you down, now towering over you with his arms still around your waist.

He always does this. Clinging onto you, which you truly love. His touch is always so calming and relaxing, which calms your nerves. You nearly forgot about those girls, until you caught a glimpse of them.

You sighed and fixated your gaze back upon your boyfriend. You smiled to act as if you didn't see those girls, which you full well know you did. If he knew you were sad, he'd get sad and you don't want that for yourself nor the team or Akaashi.

"Hey Ko." You smiled, and so did he. "Here's your-" You looked around for Akaashi and took his breakfast box, out of Akaashi's hands. "-your breakfast."

His mouth was watering at the sight, then instantly, he embraced you in another hug. You were happy that he's happy. "Thank you so much Babe!" His hugs are always good. That's another thing you love so much about him. Although, you love everything about him.

He grabbed the breakfast you made, and opened it. His eyes nearly twinkled, your food always delicious. Everytime he sees your food, his heart expands with how much you make for him and all the effort you put into it.

"Oh boy, this looks delicious!" He didn't even say grace, only stuffing his face immediately. You chuckled and smiled, his face so cute whenever it's full of food. He was getting food everywhere, so you pulled out a napkin.

"Ko-" He stopped with a hum, food still stuffed in his mouth. Raising the napkin, you reached to his face and wiped the smeared slightly on his face. "you're getting food all over your face."

He tensed at your touch at first, but relaxed as your hand moved over his skin. You balled the napkin up in your hand, and began rubbing his cheek getting the rest of the food. He was froze, your soft touch softening his eyes.

He leaned into your hand, the girls behind you getting angered and agitated with this. You gulped and retracted your hand from him, almost shyly. "Well, I'll see you tonight, right?" He looked at you almost confused.

"What, you're leaving already?" His hair slightly began drooping. "But why?" He stopped eating, getting all sad which you didn't like. You frowned, and approached him.

His puppy dog face, whenever he's sad, hurts you. "I've gotta go to class, Ko. I'll see you tonight, okay?" He was still sulking though, his heart sinking in his chest.

"But Y/N..." He was genuinely sad, and it nearly broke your heart. You know you always stay an hour during his morning practice, but you just needed to go away for now. You knew those girls weren't leaving yet, but you didn't say anything about it.

You embraced him in a hug, holding him close to your plush body. You didn't want to let go though, only tightening it once he hugged you back. "I love you, so much okay Ko?" Your face rubbed in his chest, then looked up to his eyes. "I'll see you tonight, okay?"

Once you said those three words, he smiled and hugged you tighter. "I love you so much, Y/N!" His hold was tight, really tight that could almost pop you but you loved it. You can't get enough of his hugs.

Once he let you go, you kissed him once more before leaving. "I'll see you later, okay babe?" He smiled brightly and nodded, watching as you walked away.

Akaashi then walked up to Bokuto. "Bokuto, you need to stay away from those girls over there." He pointed. "It's obvious from Y/N leaving early, you did something."

Bokuto however, was highly confused. "Akaashi! What do you mean by, I did something?! She had class to go to!" He almost shouted at his bestfriend. He was completely unaware of what he did, but Akaashi needed him to know. If he doesn't, it'll possibly lead to you breaking up with Bokuto.

"Yeah, that may be part of it but-" He pointed to the girls, Bokuto was previously with. "-she didn't like those girls all over you, which you were too oblivious to notice." Akaashi crossed his arms.

Bokuto was dumbfounded. You were... jealous? "Wait..." He looked down and back up all dramatically. "...you're telling me I made Y/N jealous?!" Akaashi simply nodded, arms still crossed. "If Y/N's jealous then that means..." His hair began drooping. "I made Y/N... sad."

Akaashi gasped, knowing what this is about to lead to. His Emo mode, which he doesn't necessarily want to deal with. He sighed, preparing himself to calm Bokuto down.

"I-" Bokuto started making Akaashi slightly anxious. "-don't deserve Y/N!" He waved his hand backwards, insinuating his seriousness. "I made her sad! For all I know, she's probably crying right now!"

He began rambling. Akaashi sighed as he touched Bokuto's shoulder, stopping him to look at him. "Bokuto, listen-" Akaashi sighed, as Bokuto was about to say something else. "-Y/N loves you, and wouldn't break up with you, okay?"

Bokuto was shocked. "She's in love with you and don't want to get rid of you, alright? She was just hurt by that situation. You know, being touched by those girls is something she didn't like." Akaashi explained.

"Really?" He asked, nearly on the verge of tears. He's so in love with you, but he just didn't understand what he was doing. He doesn't want to lose you because of his own mistake, he did not realize was occurring.

Akaashi nodded. "Yes, really Bokuto." Akaashi was nearly always serious, but Bokuto could hear it in his tone and see it in his expression. "She doesn't want anyone else but you, which is weird." He smirked a little, being sarcastic with his remark.

Bokuto cheered up and smiled, slightly. "So what do I do? I don't wanna lose my Y/N, Akaashi..." He sounded so broken, and torn away from you. He felt like any minute now, you'd text him to break up with him.

"You're going to her house, tonight right?"

"Yeah, for a sleepover."

Akaashi nodded. "Then maybe, you should just apologize to her. It's not much you should do, just tell her that you're only dedicated to her because that-" Again pointing back, not caring if they saw. "-didn't seem like you wanted her."

Bokuto gasped and stumbled back. "I surely don't want them!" He didn't even care, if they heard him. "They're not my type at all! I only want my baby, Y/N! She's so beautiful, and nobody can tell me different!" He was borderline screaming this time.

The girls looked hurt from this, but he doesn't care. It's not his problem, so why should he care. You're the only one he wants, so he's going to be blunt about it and say fuck them girls.

He walked away from Akaashi and over to the girls and snatched his jacket, from one of them. "Give me!" He shouted while taking it, he took his other things that were around them and went over to Akaashi again.

He placed his things on the floor by his bag. Akaashi must say, he's impressed with what his bestfriend did. Bokuto never is blunt with people like that, so for him to do that, it was quite impressing and satisfying to watch.

Akaashi looked back at the girls to see them scrambling out the gym. He was trying so hard not to laugh, biting his lip to conceal it. He turned back to Bokuto and smiled. He walked over to him and sat beside him, on the opposite bench.

"That was... impressive Bokuto." Bokuto was pouting with his arms crossed, but he was listening to Akaashi. Bokuto's proud of himself as well, so he can't help the smile that's slowly curling on his lips.

Akaashi meant what he said. He doesn't typically praise Bokuto, unless he's in that Emo mode of his. This time though, it was truly needed.

"You better tell Y/N you love her, right now, though." He said, knowing that you're probably still feeling down from this.

Bokuto jumped up. "Yeah!" He went to his bag and pulled out his phone. Once he turned the screen on, seeing you and him as his wallpaper, he sees that he already has a message from you already.

A message that says; I love you...

His heart was beating out his chest. She didn't break up with me! He was relieved, and really happy to see that you haven't broken up with him. He can't stop his huge smile, but he still feels a little bad.

He instantly replied; I LOVE YOU MORE Y/N! I'M COMING OVER EARLY OKAY?!

He sent his message but didn't close out the text chat. He always wait for you to text back, whenever he's not busy. As soon as he saw the three bubbles, his smile widen even more just waiting for your reply.

'I love you more Ko. So so much and I miss you...'

He's now flustered, loving how you miss him. He misses you more, and honestly he can't wait till he can come over. He knows he has to apologize, and that's exactly what he plans on doing.

~~~~~~~

You yawned loudly, tired and waiting for your parents to leave. You're laying on your bed, waiting for your boyfriend to come over. Your parents know about him coming over, for you're the one who asked.

Of course they approved, but they are cautious just a little. Bokuto's been over to your house before and has met your parents, and they love him. From his personality, they know he isn't the type to try anything on their daughter.

Necessarily, they're not too worried about it. You wrapped your covers around your body tighter, snuggling up to keep warm in the fairly cool room. You always kept the A.C on, because it's comfortable when you're warm as well.

You're not really paying attention to the television, just letting it play as background noise. You kept getting cute texts from your boyfriend whos on his way right now. He won't stop texting you, which you kept giggling at. He's so adorable!

About twenty more minutes pass, and you get a text from Bokuto saying that he's here. You're so excited, but you remembered that your parents are here.

Your dad grasped your bedroom doorknob and turned it, only peaking his head through. You jumped slightly at the unexpected burst through the door. "Y/N!"

"Dad!" You shouted, as you sat up on your bed and throwing your covers off. "I wish you'd knock instead of almost knocking my door off the freaking wall."

He chuckled. "Well, your boyfriend is here." You nodded lazily, already knowing that your boyfriend is here. "If you want him to come in then-"

You pushed pass your dad. "I know Dad, I know he's here stop being lame." You scoffed, which he only laughed at. He followed behind you as you walked to the front door of your house.

You could hear his voice, as you approached. He was talking to your mother about something, but you didn't know what. Once he saw you, he smiled brightly and you could tell he wanted to hug you.

Your mom let him in, as her and your dad slipped out. They were hugging onto each other as Bokuto gave you a quick hug. You both had one arm around each other, while your parents did the same.

"Now, Kotaro, I want you to take care of our little girl, okay?" Your dad said, with a hint of worry in his voice. Bokuto nodded and said yessir. "Y/N, you take care of the house and remember-" He paused to see if you remembered what he always told you.

"I know Dad, I know-" Bokuto looked down at you with adoration. "-make sure to lock up the house, after you leave." He jumped like a little kid, which you found so lame.

"Have a good time honey-" Your mom winked to you. "-you too, Kotaro." She smiled, making him smile too.

They began walking to the car, but your dad kept turning to say something. "You know where everything is-"

"Okay hun." Your mom kept interfering, trying to get him to stop talking.

"The snacks-" He continued. Your mom kept trying to stop him. "-all the movies. Everything." You closed the door as he kept talking, which you know he's going to be pretty bummed out about once they get back.

"Goodbye-" You said, closing the door with one hand on your hip. When you turned around, you saw Bokuto staring at you. "-what?" You asked him.

"Nothing babe, your parents are so cool!"

You shook your head as you walked pass him, as he followed behind. "My Mom is but my Dad-" You rolled your eyes. "-he's so lame sometimes, I swear." You walked in your kitchen and leaned on the counter.

Bokuto came in with you and placed his bag, that he brung over. "I think he's cool all the time, babe."

You rolled your eyes. "You have no idea." You sighed. "So, did you get here safely, babe?" You asked him.

He nodded with a bright smile. "Yeah! I missed you so much!" He unzipped his bag and started pulling things out. "So I bought you some stuff!" Well, you're excited.

"Babe, I told you-"

"I know-" He cut you off quickly. "-but I wanted to apologize to you Y/N. I know how I made you feel today, and I'm so sorry." You titled your head, a little confused as to what he's referring to. He saw your look and said, "Those girls."

You nodded with closed eyes. "It's fine Ko, it hasn't even been on my mind honestly."

"I know!" He came over to you quickly, which shocked you. "And I know I don't deserve you!" Your eyes were wide, and you tried stopping him. "I love you so much! I didn't even realize they were flirting with me, I promise!"

You didn't know what to say. The way he's pouring so much emotion into this, has you on the verge of tears. "Kotaro..." You mumbled.

"But Y/N please!" He grabbed both of your hands, staring into your eyes. You almost broke once you saw his eyes watering up. "Please don't leave me, I'm sorry!"

He kept repeating that over and over as you instantly hugged him. He was nearly crying, but you rubbed his hair and his back to let him know that you already forgave him.

"It's okay Kotaro..." You whispered against his shoulder. He was sobbing, slightly then wrapped his arms around your body hugging you tightly. "...I don't and won't leave you, okay?" You confessed. "It was just a simple mistake, and I don't hate you for it at all. I love you so much... I love you..."

His grip on your body tightened, now pulling you up to wrap all the way around his body. His head was in your neck, and so was yours. You could feel water drops falling on your shoulder, but you didnt mind it.

Your eyes were watering too, and tears began to fall. You were shocked at how fast this escalated. Already, you knew Bokuto was in love with you and still is. There's no doubt about it, especially when he's crying over you.

Both of you embraced each other for a while, not wanting to let go for a second thinking each other would be gone if you did. Once you pulled away, you both looked at each other and laughed softly.

"Don't cry-" You said said. "-even though, it's cute." He smiled and kissed you once, then twice, then a third time which got heated. On the fourth kiss, he held it and suckled at your lips.

His lips were slightly rough, but you loved them. Your lips were soft with cherry blossom lip balm, that he can't seem to get enough of.

Wrapping his arms back around you, he picked you up and placed you on the counter. Without wasting any time, he opened your legs and settled between them.

His strong hand went to your head, as he began pulling you closer to his face until your lips came in contact. When kissing, Bokuto was always nearly eating your face off.

His lips would fully cover yours, occasionally sticking his tongue in your mouth and suck on yours. Sometimes, it'd do too far. Like now, he's rutting his hips into your thigh.

You push at his chest. "Ko-" But he kept dominating your mouth, and rutting his hips into your thigh. You're both virgins, so you know this can escalate. "Babe, stop." You sighed, breaking the kiss.

He looked so disappointed. "But, why? I wanna show you how sorry I am." He began pressing kisses to your neck. His hands now roaming your body, while his mouth was placing kisses all over you.

You tried stopping him, but when his clothed member brushed up agaisnt your crotch, you moaned. He felt that too and angled his hips to brush up against your clit.

His wondering hands slid down your back, to your bottom to pull you harder agaisnt his restrained cock. You could feel it bulging, the thickness of it slightly scarring you.

He pressed himself harder into your clit, so he can grind and create extra friction agaisnt your nub. He kept rutting his hips into yours, everytime you tried pushing him away. He was groaning against your skin, as you were moaning and keeping a firm grip on his shoulders.

As you were enjoying the feeling in your lower region, Bokuto ceased all movements including the ones on your neck and face. You whimpered in disappointment, until he picked you up and placed you in his arms as a seat.

Without a second, he latched his mouth back onto yours as he walked to your bedroom. He's been in there before too, so he knows it all too well. Wrapping one arm around you, he used his free hand to push your door open.

As soon as he put you down, his arms wrapped back around you and his knee went in between your crotch, bumping your heated nub. His knee began moving back in fourth, as his mouth was latched onto your neck.

It was going way too fast, but you didn't want him to stop honestly. Bokuto hit a sweet spot on your neck and began sucking, once he heard your sweet soft moan. You could feel his smile on your neck and your hands went to his shoulders.

Your moans couldn't be concealed. His tongue was ghosting over your sweet spot, tickling it and leaving a mark. Your nails dug into his shoulders, making him groan and thrust his knee harder into your crotch. Your body was betraying you, the wetness of your cunt slipping out.

"You taste good~" Bokuto groaned agaisnt your neck. "Can't nobody touch you, but me Y/N~" His voice was filled with lust, which wasn't really how Bokuto was. You were slightly pissed that he was placing hickeys on your neck, where everyone can see it.

Bokuto removed his hands from your body and lightly pushed you onto the bed. His hands went to your thighs, giving you a firm squeeze before he pushed your legs open. Bokuto was really fast, once his body layed flushed against yours, his fingers looped into the band of your panties.

You shuddered, but he kissed you so you wouldn't stop him. His index finger slid against your slit, lightly grazing your clit. You moaned into his mouth, which he allowed his tongue to slip in.

Bokuto stopped kissing you and sat up on his knees to look at your exposed bottom. Your hands went to your face, because you've never been so vulnerable before. One of his hands grabbed both of yours and kept a tight grip on them.

"No Baby Owl, I wanna see your face~" Your eyes were closed, but when he said that you opened your eyes to stare into his beautiful yellow ones. He smiled upon seeing your face. "I don't know what I'm doing Y/N, but..." His fingers slipped to your clit and began circling it.

You never felt this before, your body slightly shivering which he loved. He loved the way you were reacting to him, your body slightly trembling. Though, he removed his fingers to stand. His hands went to his zipped up jacket to remove it.

Your face heated up as you saw how well the tank top he was wearing was complimenting his toned muscles. His arms stuck out, which your face lit up to. He didn't waste any time to pull his tank top over his head too, the lines of his abs making your cunt spasm around nothing.

He sat himself on his knees, still settled in front of you. He grabbed your legs and layed them on both of his spread open thighs. Your cunt was bare to his eyes, which he could feel his cock twitching from. His fingers went back to lightly stroking your clit, the tingles running through your nerves.

"Y/N-" You looked up to him. "-I don't know how to prepare you, but I think this is it." He didn't let you respond as his fingers swirled around your virgin hole. Your body jolted forward, already sensitive from nothing.

He was so gentle, but his rough fingers were already nearing your climax. He watched as your cunt spasmed, his thumb massaging your pearl while the other was prepping you. You were moaning softly which made Bokuto look up.

He admired your cute expression, the way your eyes closed from the feeling of his strokes. You shuddered, now his fingers moving faster to work up an orgasm. You never felt anything like this, and your orgasm was coming fast.

This would be your first orgasm, from somebody else. That's probably why it's coming more intense, than an orgasm from yourself. But when you were right on the edge, he stopped making you whine.

"Why'd you stop, Ko?" You asked.

He smirked. "I don't know how to say this but-" He looked down then back to your face. "-I want you to cum around my cock, and not my fingers."

You're face heated up, and you became a little anxious because it's your first time.

"Only if you wanna continue." He stared into your eyes, and waited for you to give him permission. He wasn't gone force you, because that's not who Bokuto is. He wants your consent, and if he doesn't got it, he won't touch you.

You nodded. "Yeah I want to continue." You told him, which he smiled to.

"Can I take off your shirt?" He stared into your eyes when he asked. You never been naked in anybody's eyes, but your own in the mirror but you love Bokuto so much. You looked away for a second and then nodded. He smiled brightly. "You're so beautiful."

He praised you before he even took your shirt off. His hands slipped under your shirt, slowly lifting it up over your head. Once he took it off, his mouth literally watered from seeing your plush body.

Your eyes were wide at his reaction. He didn't seem disgusted with your body, his hands giving your plush light squeezes. He didn't care for unclipping your bra, your body already making him fall in love with you. He didn't need to see your breast, but he still gave them attention through the fabric.

He was groaning at the contact his hands were making as they caressed your soft flesh. You were in love, because he doesn't hate your body. He loves it, and you can truly see that.

Bokuto was quick to turn you on your stomach. You were a little confused, but when you felt his hands caressing the soft flesh of your back you whined in satisfaction. His hands jiggled your rolls, which made you bury your head in the pillow.

Bokuto was in love. Your body is so beautiful to him so he wanted to see more. His hands went to the clip of your bra and unclipped it. He took it and threw it to the side, and caressed the sides of your breasts as you lay on your stomach.

He groaned in satisfaction, the feeling of your plush making his mind hazy. His hand went to your plush ass and kneaded the flesh so gently. He then leaned down and placed a kiss to your right cheek, which made you jerk in surprise.

He sat up and massaged over the kiss he placed on your cheek. "Mine..." You here him mumble from behind you. Your heart was nearly exploding, his praises making you love him more.

His hands went under the front of your thighs as he pulled you by the hips to press you to him. He watched as your cunt was dripping slick down your thighs. His finger slid up your slit, quickly.

Your body trembled in his hands, but he loved that. He loves how well your body responds to him. He grabbed the front of his pants and began yanking them down. You could hear it as it slid down.

Your breathing now a little ragged, anxious because of this. You don't want him to stop though. You could now hear him working to release himself from his boxers. You tried turning but he placed his hand on the back of your head to keep your head forward.

"No, I want it to be a surprise babe." He said, and pushed your head down in the mattress.

"Be gentle babe..." You nearly begged, as his hands began caressing your ass to sooth your nerves.

"I promise." He said, as he gripped his cock and began jerking it to prepare himself too. You could hear him spit and the spit hit his cock as lube. He doesn't want to hurt you, so he's being extra careful. "I'll try to go in slow."

You gulped and nodded as you felt him maneuver behind you. Your body shuddered, once you felt it poking at your entrance. His hand on your head went to the tip of his cock to help him push in.

His other hand went to your left cheek and lifted up the flesh to watch as he enters you. You tensed once he began ripping through your walls. He didn't stop though as you winced and tried reaching back for him.

He grabbed your hand and held it tightly, as he continued to push in. "Ko-"

"I know it hurts babe..." He sighed as your walls began spasming around the tip his cock. "...I'm sorry." He snapped his hips and buried himself balls deep inside you, making you shriek and slam your head into the mattress.

He instantly felt regret. "Babe! I'm so sorry!" He layed his chest to your back, and stayed there while rubbing soothing circles on your hips.

"It's okay..." You managed to get out. He was kissing your neck lovingly, while repeating sorry. He really didn't like you being in pain, which almost made him cry.

You felt so full though. You don't know his size, but from the feel of it you could tell he's big. The thickness and length overfilling your insides. You could feel him pulsing inside you, and the veins on his cock beating agaisnt your walls.

Once the pain subsided, you moaned of relief. Looking back, you whispered to him to move. "You can move, babe." You told him.

He smiled and placed one more kiss to your neck. Bokuto pulled out, only to sit up and grip your hips to slow drive himself back in. You both moaned in sync, his length making you moan.

Bokuto's grip was tight, his teeth clenching and eyes clenching shut. Your eyes were shut but your mouth hung open. He was moving in a slow pace trying to make sure he doesn't hurt you.

Though, you could feel his tip reaching the deepest parts of you. Your hands gripped the bedsheets, and your hips began arching into his.

He looked down to where you're connected and saw that you're already creaming around him. He was moving faster into you, now making his balls tap lightly on your clit.

"You feel... so good- fuck!- Y/N~" Bokuto moaned out. The grip your walls were contracting on his cock, nearly choking him and trapping him in.

You gripped the bedsheets tightly, no words leaving your mouth as he began picking up his pace.

You were moaning and nearly ripping the sheets up. His hips began slamming into yours, the sound of your ass clapping against his lap was resonating through the room.

He couldn't help but stare at it. Your ass jiggling and rippling agaisnt his thighs at the impact. His mouth hung open, and he pushed your arching back down as he gripped your waist to go harder.

His short nails, for volleyball, dug into your waist to thrust harder. His grasp was tight, his hips now thrusting harder into you. "Stay down babe- I'll do it for you~" His voice cracked at the end, his tip now sweetly kissing your cervix.

You both are now sweating and panting. His hair wasn't sticking up anymore, now sticking to his sweaty face and yours were sticking to your face.

You could feel your previous denied orgasm approaching. You chocked on your spit, his cock abusing your cervix. His hips moving even faster now, the veins in his cock adding extra stimulation.

Bokuto began moaning out, and so were you. His cock felt so good, the thickness nearly making you stupid. Stupid for his cock.

Bokuto laid his chest on your back, now his left arm wrapping around your neck. His hand began sliding down your stomach and to your neglected bud. His fingers began rubbing furiously, making your back arch into his hips.

The new arch in your back is making his cock abuse your cervix even more. His fingers began flicking and rubbing harder, as he slowly began pounding into you hard.

"Kotaro!" You moan-shouted.

The stimulation was nearly too much to handle. You were on the verge of tears, his cock was ramming you so good. The stimulation he's giving your body, is way too much that you can hardly handle it.

You've never felt this much pleasure from anything before. His fingers were pinching your pearl while rubbing it vigorously. You began moving your hips back to meet his deep thrusts.

Bokuto removed his hand from your clit and joined his other wrapped arm around your neck. His face was in your neck too, and you could hear his ragged breathing and deep moans in your ear.

His hips were slamming into you know, your walls instantly clamped down hard on him.

"I'm coming Ko~!" He grunted in response, his hips now slowing down so you could feel all the veins bulging against your walls. You were shaking, your walls spasming randomly on his cock.

Bokuto's hips thrusted three more times, before his tip hit your g-spot and your band snapped your toes curling. Your face dug into the bed as Bokuto's hips still moved, your orgasm ripping through your abdomen.

Your eyes rolled back inside your closed eyelids. Bokuto continued riding your orgasm out, his hips stuttering as he moaned out and spurted inside you.

You couldn't even focus on that, his moving hips still making you quiver. He sat up and gripped your waist, his eyes closed as he continued to rut in and out of you.

He let your hips go to place his hands on the sides of your head to hold his body up. You were now trembling and so was he, your cream coating his cock the sight so erratic.

"Y/N~" He moaned deeply as he slowly moved himself in and out of you, and then stopped his hips. He leaned down and placed a kiss on your shoulder blade. "I love you~" He whimpered while slowly pulling his cock out, and making your body tremble.

You honestly couldn't move. He stood up and away from you, and walked into your bathroom to wet a rag. He came back and spread your legs to clean you up.

What you can't believe, is that you let him have sex with you in your parents house. Not only that, but he came in you too. You quivered at the contact the rag made with your leaking cunt.

"Kotaro..." You whimpered.

"I know babe. I'll get you something for that but you were squeezing me so tight!" You chuckled and pushed yourself to sit up. He went back into your bathroom and rinsed the rag off.

Once he came back, he instantly cuddled with your head in his chest.

"When are your parents coming back?" He asked.

You shrugged. "I don't-" And a knock on the door cut you off. Your eyes widen as you began pushing at Bokuto's chest. "-right now!" He panicked and stood up scrambling to get your clothes.

You two shared a laugh as you were trying to get dressed. Once you did, Bokuto sat on your bed and turned the TV on to act as if you haven't done anything. He sprayed your air freshener to get rid of the smell which worked.

You walked to your door and whispered, "Act like nothing happened." Bokuto chuckled with a big smile and nodded, as you then walked to the front door.

Yeah, it was your parents coming back to get something. They didn't find out what you two did, and it made you and Bokuto laugh everytime.

He loves you so much, that he risked getting in trouble for you. He didn't mean to though, his obliviousness always getting the best of him.

You, however, don't doubt your boyfriend no more.

-

-

-

Okay! So this one was too long, but I did it for my requester. I really appreciated this request because, I AM IN LOVE WITH BOKUTO! All the other Haikyuu!! characters are great, but I just love Bokuto so much and wish he was real. ANYWAY, thank you requester!

[echoeternally]

Hi there! I have a bit of a strange request for you, if that's okay. I'm currently in the process of planning/writing a longer Star Fox fic that prominently features Panther, and by extension, the FoxPanth ship, and I was wondering if you could give any pointers on writing Panther and/or him and Fox together?

This isn't strange at all! I'm even delighted, like, someone asking me about a pairing that I originally thought almost no one else would enjoy, and so they can write it too? It's like a dream, my gosh!

Give me one more second, like, I'm so amazed that this happened with my rare pair for Fox/Panther. FOXPAN! Of all pairs, I'm thrilled!

Ok, ok! Let's see what advice I can scrounge up for you.

A lot of people are under the impression that Panther is a pretty clear cut character in one regard or the other, but he actually offers a lot of flexibility to write about. That's probably why I gravitate to using him so often for Star Fox content.

Writing him playing off of Fox has a surprisingly enjoyable kind of chemistry, but it depends on what you go for with them. Coming to me means that you're in for the shipping, so, that I can help with!

Kind of prefacing that a bit because I know this is going under a cut, which I'm adding in here. More below, of course! Also, it's going to be a lot longer than you're expecting, so...I'm hoping that helps!

...

~Panther's Background~

Ok, I'll start with Panther as a character, since understanding how you want to portray him is the first part to nail down right.

People kind of mistake Panther to be a flat villain and a basically a pervy flirt, nothing more needed to build his character. It's easy to write him off as such, given how little canon support the games give.

There are some very, very crucial elements that he's given with his appearances, however, and they tend to be overlooked.

First and foremost, a lot of folks like to lump Panther in as "just another Star Wolf crony," which is fair if you don't focus on him.

However! What's critical that too many people ignore is that, in Panther's debut appearance, that's a brand new Star Wolf too. With the story for Star Fox: Assault being what it was, Panther is part of the Star Wolf team that no longer operates as mere mercenaries for the main villain and the obvious rival team, but he's part of a team that becomes allies to Fox and friends by the endgame.

Anyone can take that any way they want, but Panther is basically part of the lightest and kindest, perhaps even the most fleshed out version of Star Wolf. So, people that gleefully like pairing Fox off with Wolf because he has those "hey pup" lines? They should very well like the roster from Assault, because that's the installment that gave the most credibility to Wolf even being capable of defecting.

There's a lot of ways that it could be explained, but notably, Panther is the new big member on the main roster. Sure, they could fill a seat with anyone, but look at who they chose: this lighthearted goofball that enjoys playing with his rivals as much as he does causing trouble. A far cry from the likes of Leon, Pigma, and Andrew, who were on the more ruthless side of Star Wolf.

Many like Panther to be along that side too, and depending on how you want to characterize him, that could work out.

My personal preference, however, is that Panther is part of the catalysts that helps Wolf defect from being fully evil.

He's less interested in hurting civilians and being some kind of hotshot assassin. There's no hard support that Panther's criminal record involves heavy war crimes and murder, and canon biographies about him state him to be an elusive criminal that troubled Cornerian army officials.

Rather, Panther is entertained by causing mischief and enjoys playing around. He's cunning, but in ways to further his goals and those of his allies, not to play as a pawn in another's schemes.

I like to create the background that Wolf and Leon got low and desperate when searching for new recruits, and after meeting up with Panther, they adopt similar traits from him, easing up on their rougher traits in favor of getting their work done.

Basically, I favor the idea that Panther helped make Wolf better. (Which is totally a fun basis for Wolf/Panther, something that I've wanted to write for a few years too, lol.)

~Characterizing Panther~

It really depends on what you're doing with writing him, because you can make him a criminal even still and have that work nicely. However, I tend to give him ways out of being locked into a shadier background, focusing on his lighter traits, and making him more of a "gentleman thief" type of character foremost.

(For reference, I made him that kind of a thief in my fanfic, "Your Thieving Heart," because I really enjoy the idea that Panther's a cat burglar, as opposed to...well, whatever other people prefer.)

If you're focusing on an action or adventure story, I'd recommend using his craftier traits to help him stand out. Panther likes to play head games, because he'll tease and taunt his opponents, baffling them silly until they're clueless to his true motives.

He's also a skillful shot; in Star Fox: Command, Panther is the only playable character that does not use a Lock system for his Wolfen, which means that he makes a single shot that pierces most opponents. And in Assault, he makes a good support to both Star Wolf, and later on, Star Fox, so he can coordinate well in dogfights and combat too.

A story that's geared less to fighting, such as a drama or a comedy, would focus more on Panther's playful traits. Obviously his flirting, which I'll get to in a moment, but also, tweak the way that his playful and cunning manifests.

His teasing can be used to hide other facets of his character (maybe he's actually hurting and lonely deep down) or otherwise his goals (maybe he wants to get flowers for a partner and jokes about missing a meeting to do so).

His smarts can be used to show a more analytic or thoughtful side to him; while Panther isn't the type that would be the smartest in the room, he's absolutely underestimated by everyone, and can get away with a lot of surprises as a result.

Character flaws are pretty simple. Panther can be arrogant, so he can go a little too far touting his prowess and skill, as well as take his joking a little overboard without realizing when to back down. Since he is a criminal, he definitely has a less than luster past, which can hold him back, depending on how you want to write his criminal history. Also, I tend to think of him as a type that comes across charismatic and social, but in reality wants something quieter.

That last bit has support from a profile description in Command, which states that while Panther proclaims himself to be a "ladies' cat," he actually is known to fall "totally and completely in love" with his partner.

So, where people tend to limit him to being confident and flirty, that's the short and simple version to Panther. The deeper way to flesh his character out is to make him a hopeless romantic type, who craves and wants to find someone special to help fulfill his life.

Because a large portion of Panther's character gets limited to flirting with Krystal in his two major appearances, he's not given time to really show off the depths of his feelings. (I think Command tried, but that story got botched in a few too many places.)

He's not a misogynistic type, if I remember correctly, because he doesn't make any crude comments to berate or belittle Krystal's character, but rather, makes strong efforts to prime up his character instead, doing his best to come across as enticing and viable to her as possible.

Panther is super desperate and longing for love, and he's not above trying whatever methods he can to get there.

~Shipping With...Fox!~

So, how does Fox come into play on that? It's pretty easy, since Fox is also a flexible character as virtue of being the main player controlled character for the franchise. In other words, you can project a lot onto Fox in manners however you might like.

There are specific traits to Fox that remain part of his core character, however. He's obviously a strong leader, leading the legendary Star Fox team. If we go by Star Fox 64's ending, he's pretty humble, given that he turns down joining military ranks (presumably greater glory) to keep his life in a freer style with his contract work. (This gets played up as the series goes along, though Fox was actually pretty cocky in Star Fox 64, and somewhat so in Star Fox: Adventures as well.)

Given how his personality matures by the time of Star Fox: Assault and whatever went on with Star Fox: Command, Fox is something of a type that does abide by rules and doing the greater good type of work, but still retains some of his "off the books" or "go it alone" type of work.

So, since he's a hero that dances close to more lawful work, though still manages to find ways to slide around for what his objectives desire, that does make him a mostly "no nonsense" type, though on the friendlier and nicer side, of course. Fox can be portrayed as pretty orderly, in other words, and doesn't favor causing more trouble than he can handle, even if he's not above it.

Does that sound like something of an inverse to Panther, who tends to get into trouble and be mischievous? I should hope so!

Because they have foiled personalities from one another, that gives Fox and Panther elements of "opposites attract," since Panther can be silly and troublesome, while Fox tries to be serious and respectful. Panther has a shadier history with the Cornerian Army and his past is riddled with mystery and lack of depth. Fox, meanwhile, has staunchly strong and heroic ties with the Cornerian Army, who rely and count on his efforts to help them out. Additionally, he has a fair amount of his background explored as well, especially so compared to the enigma that is Panther.

Going by how flustered Fox gets in Star Fox: Adventures, Assault, and Command, he's also a bit sloppier in the romance department. He's seen as a stammering type, and shier around those that show interest in him, namely how Krystal does in the former two installments. He ends up being too protective of her in the last game included for that group, and kicks her from the team thinking that it was the safer option, when it really did nothing to stop her.

Those that ship Fox with Falco can also write him in angles to being oblivious to love, since Falco tends to be a bit harsh with Fox, which many like to write as him being guarded with his true feelings. So, combined with the information above, Fox is something of a romantic novice or rather inept at it.

Panther, whether he's actually good at romance or just likes to think he is, still comes across as an opposite to Fox on that level too. Whereas Fox falters and hesitates in romantic matters, Panther boldly strides forward to do his best in a quest for love.

There are some tricks to helping Fox and Panther work even better than just playing off of their foil traits however.

For starters: Both can be portrayed as very lonely souls.

Fox is a character that lost his parents at a young age, with his mother being out of the picture in every game installment, and his father dead before he's even 18. That's rough stuff, at least in my book. So, I'd consider that Fox has some isolated sides to his character that not everyone knows about, and that he has a side that grieves for his loved ones, and a side that longs to find a way to be loved and cherished in some manner once more.

Huh, does that sound familiar again? Someone that desperately wants to find love to fill a void in his life?

Oh wait, that's literally part of Panther's core too!

See, both Fox and Panther are seekers of love. While Fox may not be as forward with his intentions, he cares deeply for his team, his allies, and his planet, if not the entire Lylat galaxy. While Panther may not have such grand showings for compassion, he'd be the type that would be impressed, if not charmed, by someone so compassionate and caring.

If you take the idea that Panther helped make Wolf and Leon better, then it's likely that he also has a good deal of compassion in him too, seeing the best in people that the rest of Corneria and Lylat write off as the worst out there. Finding the light in the darkness is a kind of hopeful trait that Fox would absolutely be drawn to, since he can struggle to do the same.

Of course, both Panther and Fox are also skilled pilots, so, they have at least that much in common. Fox's skills are something that have outright impressed Panther in canon, and he compliments Fox a few times in both Star Fox: Assault and Star Fox: Command, commending Fox as his personal rival. It's not hard at all to shift that from mere respect to a deeper admiration.

Both are also very loyal and willing to see their goals through to the end. Fox proves this repeatedly in the games, but Panther shows such qualities in his appearances too, sticking by Wolf's side in spite of the challenges they face, and committing to his goals until they either are toppled enough to stop him, or until they are fully realized in a capacity that satisfies Panther well enough.

Typically, I like to mix things between "opposites attract" and "like attracts likes," to balance them out. Both Fox and Panther want to not be lonely and fall in love, to share their lives with someone. They're both also types that would be lonely in a crowd, though none are likely to suspect so, since they both come across confident and social enough to prove otherwise. Fox may find Panther's slippery side somewhat alluring, since he follows a freedom that Fox may sometimes wish he had from his more uptight and legacied life. Panther, meanwhile, might find Fox's loyalty and noble traits very endearing, because that means he'd firmly stand beside anyone that he committed himself to, something that Panther absolutely wants.

Naturally, you can play around with how you might like to portray them, based on the choices you'd make with your story, but those are some elements that I noticed and liked to help build it up.

While a lot of it is fairly made up with loose ties to canon, that's kind of the point to many fanfics. And even still, there is enough canon support to characterize Panther and Fox in a way that could make them a harmonized duo, to the point of romantic involvement.

Phew! Even I didn't realize how much I'd have to write about them until I actually put it all down, lol.

I do hope that you find this helpful. If you want any more information with building the pairing up for writing, please let me know! I'd love to increase the support that FoxPan gets out there, haha!

Thank you for asking too! This was a lot of fun to write out.

[bobohu4eva]

Pink Lace - Chapter 2

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.

Word count: 6.2k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banan @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey​ @deligxt​ 

Masterlist

“God I’m so fucking sick of this semester and it hasn’t even started yet.” You complained, lying on your roommates bed flipping through one of your textbooks for the upcoming semester.

“Relax, at least you have money and you’re smart y/n, you’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re an arts major, not an architecture student.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Nothing! It’s just different!”

“Mhm sure I’d love to see you paint a landscape or sculpt something.”

You gave your best friend a dirty look before focusing your attention back to the textbook.

Mia had been your best friend since 2nd grade and she had lived with you since you were 18. She had always been the more artistic one, doing dance from a young age and taking all sorts of art classes whenever she could. Her overall view on life was quite different from yours. She saw the world through the lens of an artist, and an optimist. 

Her views on relationships were very different from yours as well, with quite the laundry list of exes, each one more thrilling than the last. You honestly loved hearing all her stories and found it impressive how well she seemed to have the dating game figured out. You on the other hand, could count the men you’d slept with on one hand, and aren’t one for parties or anything like that, preferring to stay home and study or watch a drama.

With your dislike for parties and dating apps, you stayed pretty single. Not that you minded, being too swamped with schoolwork to make time for a real boyfriend anyway. Sometimes you thought about going out to parties and trying to find yourself a hookup but you never followed through, not wanting that kind of intimacy with a stranger.

“Did you see Baekhyun again last night?” She asked casually, knowing all about your work. Although for her, asking if he was there really meant ‘are you going to buy me my lunches again this week’.

“Yeah...” You contemplated for a second if you should tell her, but you quickly decided to just say it, not wanting to keep things from your best friend. “I told him my name. Like my real name.”

Her eyes went wide, definitely surprised by your confession. “Wait seriously? Why?”

“He asked and I just couldn’t tell him no.” You replied, much quieter now.

“Well it’s your choice but that really wasn’t a good idea, he’s already way too into you and now he’s just gonna think he actually has a shot with you.”

“Yeah I know I just.. I can’t explain it but it felt different.”

“He’s just another pervy dude who wants tits in his face! There’s a reason he pays you.” 

“He’s not a perv! He’s still a guy of course, but he’s sweet.” You felt a twinge of embarrassment at how quick you were to defend him. 

“All that matters about this guy is that he gives you nearly a thousand dollars every night he sees you, right?” You nodded. “You don’t want him thinking he doesn’t have to pay you anymore do you?”

You stayed quiet, because you knew she was right. This was the nature of your relationship with Baekhyun, and straying from what you had with him now just meant opening yourself up to the possibility of losing a lot of money, money you needed.

You were kind of surprised by how opposite you and Mia seemed to be in this situation. Usually it was you talking to her about boys, telling her not to make reckless decisions.

“Yeah you’re right. I’m gonna go to bed. I have classes starting pretty early tomorrow.” You told her as you left her room for yours.

You needed to sleep, but your conversation with her left you with the same uneasy feeling you’d had after last seeing Baekhyun. The longer you stared at your ceiling, the more you felt like you did the right thing telling him your name. He really liked you and it probably made his day, and you knew he wouldn’t use it against you in any way. He was too nice for that.  What’s the worst that could happen, right?

~

The first few classes of the day had gone okay. Your physics and statics professors didn’t seem like complete assholes, and you only had one class left for the day, philosophy. Part of you was annoyed you even needed to take the class, since you wouldn’t exactly consider yourself a very “deep” person, but you figured it would be easy enough.

Being the good student you are, you decided to get there early to get a seat close to the front to make a good impression on the professor. When you arrived the previous class hadn’t finished yet, so you sat down on a bench nearby and opened a book.

“Hey, are you waiting for philosophy class too?”

You looked up to see a rather cute boy, books in hand, looking down at you with a smile on his face.

“Yeah, do I know you?”

“I’m Lucas.” He sticks his hand out for you to shake, so you do and he sits down next to you. “Are you a philosophy major?”

“No, architecture. And I’m y/n.”

“Damn you must be really smart then! I’m a business major.”

“You also just have to take this for the humanities credit?”

“Yeah, but I’m excited, the professor seems cool I met him earlier today.”

“Really? What’s he like?”

“Super cool and smart, kind of young, but like a genius.”

“Yeah well hopefully he’s nice too. Especially with grading”

Lucas laughed and you noticed the previous class leaving the lecture hall so you got up and made your way in, sitting down in the second row, Lucas sitting down next to you. The professor hadn’t showed up yet so you turned to Lucas again, making small talk to pass the time. As you talked to him you realized he was actually fairly funny, although not the smartest. You had to admit though, he was pretty damn handsome. He had to be an entire foot taller than you, with beautifully tanned skin and a smile that would make any girl weak in the knees. 

“Are you going to any parties this weekend? I’m going to one at my buddies frat Friday night if you wanna be my date.”

You frowned “Sorry, I don’t really do parties.”

You could see the disappointment on his face. “Damn really? Well if ever change your mind you can text me.” He said as he scribbled something down and slid a piece of paper with his number on it across the table to you.

You internally cringed, but took the paper anyway and give him a small thank you. You weren’t lying when you said you didn’t do parties, but you still felt bad shooting him down, especially since he was actually pretty cute. That was the problem with you and dating in college. No matter how cute a guy was, what they wanted and what you wanted rarely added up well.

You’d bought your textbook already so you decide to get back to looking through it before class started. You also just wanted an excuse to stop talking to Lucas. You got lost in the book, finding yourself surprisingly interested in different moral theories and types of ethical arguments.

“Ahem.”

You heard who you assumed to be your professor and looked up, not expecting to see Baekhyun of all people smirking back at you. Fucking smirking.

You almost choked on air when you realized who you were looking at. Not only was it Baekhyun of all people standing in front of you, but he was wearing a fitted white button down and slacks with his hair styled out of his face, and glasses abandoned on his podium. He looked hot. You felt your face getting warmer and warmer.

“Hey you ok?” Lucas asked, having seen your reaction to Professor Byun.

“What? Yeah I’m totally fine why wouldn’t I be?” You responded, too loudly. Loudly enough that Baekhyun noticed. And laughed.

“Do you guys know each other or something?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You told him while giving Baekhyun your best version of a death stare, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Hello everyone I’m Mr. Byun, I’ll be your philosophies of life professor.” He said, starting the lecture with a fairly neutral look on his face, although you noticed him looking in your direction often, and smiling.

You had to admit, he was smart. Not that you were particularly surprised, he seemed fairly intelligent from the conversations you’d had with him at work, but granted those weren’t always the most intellectual conversations either. The way he explained what you had read in the book was both interesting and informative, but you couldn’t focus on him talk about Socrates when just two days earlier you had been grinding on him, and had even let him touch you. Especially when he looked like that now. Your whole body felt hot and you knew you were probably as red as a tomato. 

You tried your best to focus on what he was saying for the sake of your grade, but he wasn’t making it easier by the way he kept looking in your direction with that smile on his face. Now, often looking you directly in the eyes with the same intensity from the club. Only this time, while sounding incredibly, frustratingly, smart.

As much as you tried, you couldn’t focus. Not when you had to process the fact that Baekhyun was now your college professor, and knew way more about you and your life than you ever wanted him to. You were hit with the realization that he now also knew you’d lied to him about nearly everything.

You became painfully aware of how you looked compared to him. While he looked exquisite in his business-casual attire, you had barely rolled out of bed in time to throw your hair up in a messy top knot and apply some mascara. Your hoodie and leggings combo wasn’t your best either, and you started feeling more and more embarrassed by the second.

Every other time Baekhyun had seen you, you had been dressed in expensive lingerie with your hair and makeup done perfectly. You had always been the one in control of the situation. Now, you only felt small and underdressed.

After what felt like hours he finally ended the lecture. But he wasn’t done yet, not with you at least. And you could tell by the way he was staring at you, smile now gone and replaced with a much more serious  expression. As soon as he dismissed everyone to leave, you frantically started shoving your things in your bag, trying to get out of the room as quickly as possible but your hands were shaking so badly that you ended up fumbling and dropping most of what you’d been holding.

“Shit, shit, shit” you whispered to yourself as you desperately reached for your belongings, feeling Baekhyun’s eyes on you, but it was too late and right after you saw the last student leave the lecture hall, you heard your name.

“Y/n come here.”

Not really having the option to say no, you walked up to him, trying to look as annoyed as possible.

“You look cute like this, without the heels and everything. I like it.” He said, now smiling down at you. Despite the mocking feeling of the statement, his face was soft now, the smug smirk from earlier gone.

Baekhyun was absolutely thrilled. The girl he usually looked forward to seeing all week long was right in front of him now, within reach. And he’d get to you see you much more now as well. He had to keep himself from looking too happy since he knew you weren’t in nearly as good a mood as him.  

You’d never wanted to disappear as badly as you did in that moment. Here, Baekhyun was the one with all the power, and you despised it. He was the one all dressed up and making all the rules. You felt small and embarrassed, having little choice but to listen to whatever it is was he had to say to you. You hated the feeling.

“What do you want?”

“You lied to me.” His face didn’t look angry at all, just blank, void of any emotion.

“Why are you making me do this can I please just leave?” You asked, hoping he’d have some sympathy but you have no such luck.

No answer

“Baekhyun, please. Just let me go home and switch into a different section.” You look at him with pleading eyes, wanting this nightmare to be over.

His face hardened, now slightly annoyed.

“Professor Byun, and I’m afraid you’re stuck with me y/n. I’m the only one teaching this class this semester.”

“Well, fuck” You muttered, looking down at the floor. 

“Is that how you speak to your professors?” 

Your head snapped back up, and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“You know, y/n, I’m not mad that you lied to me. I should’ve assumed as much. After you told me your name and I saw it on the attendance sheet I had been hoping you’d been lying.” He still looked annoyed, but his face had softened a bit. 

“Oh fuck off Baekhyun”

Immediately his expression went sour again, jaw clenched and brown furrowed.

“Here it’s Mr. Byun. And don’t use that language with me again, I’m serious.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t know you’d be here. It was just yesterday that I even realized your name was on my roll sheet.” 

He had a point. He couldn’t have planned this, you’d signed up for the class months ago and he didn’t even know your name until two nights ago.

“Why aren’t you freaking out then? Shouldn’t you be worried about having me in your class?”

He only let out a chuckle.

“Why would I be worried? As far as I’m concerned this only means I get to see you more often, which I’m fine with. And you need to pass this class to graduate on time, so shouldn’t you be glad you’re already friends with your professor?”

You knew it wasn’t what he intended, but the smile on his face felt like it was mocking you.

“Yeah. Friends.” You scoffed. “Can I go home now?”

“So this is your last class of the day?”

You internally cursed yourself for giving up that bit of information.

“Yeah. Now can I leave?”

“Well you’re not in a hurry are you? Since you don’t have anywhere to be after this.”

“Baekhyuuun” you whined “please, this sucks, just let me go home.”

He smiled, seemingly amused by you begging him.

“Okay. I’m not gonna make you stay any longer since you obviously don’t want to. But let me make it clear, I’m not gonna go easy on you here just because I like you. You still have to try.”

“Okay, that’s fine.” You reply, picking your bag up to leave, wondering what exactly he meant by like you. 

“I’m really looking forward to reading your essays by the way.”

He flashed you a smile as you finally turned to leave, and you hated yourself for not doing a better job at looking mad. As much as you hated to admit it, he had a damn beautiful smile.

“See you on Wednesday!” He shouted after you as you left the room. You didn’t respond.

When you arrived back at your apartment your mind started to fill with panicked thoughts. He wouldn’t come to the club anymore now would he? That meant having to try to mingle with strangers again, something you hated about your work. It also meant less money. It’s not often that customers bought hour long dances.

And what if he did show up again? How would you even act around him? Part of you wanted him to for the easy money, but you just couldn’t imagine grinding on your professor. Your face heated up just at the thought, especially since you knew he could look that good now. Would you even be able to give him a lap dance without losing your own mind?

You had trouble processing the fact that this was even able to happen. You’d  never thought to ask Baekhyun for his last name, and since it had been summer break he didn’t mention his job. The whole situation seemed bizarre. 

And what about class? Will he make it more difficult if he doesn’t get what he wants? 

No. Baekhyun isn’t like that, you tell yourself. As much as you disliked having him in a position of power over you, you’d gotten to know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t abuse it.

The more you’d gotten to know him the more you liked spending time with him rather than other customers, regardless of the money. And for good reason. The longer you knew Baekhyun, the more you realized he wasn’t like the other guys who came to the club. You could tell he was good, decent guy.

He was always there to see you, and only you. You had several other regulars, but none of them had any qualms about talking to and getting dances from other girls. Not that you minded, but you’d never seen Baekhyun even speak to another dancer.

He’s also just nice. The kind of nice that you don’t see in people often anymore. He was always incredibly respectful and would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with. Very few of the guys you came in contact with cared at all if they made you uncomfortable. They’d just assume that’s a part of the job for you.

Baekhyun was actually interesting to talk to as well. Since you’d met him at the beginning of summer, he usually told you about adventures he went on with his friends, most of whom you knew from the night they’d dragged him into the club.

They were a genuinely cool group of people. The one he was closest with, Chanyeol, was a music producer, another named Kyungsoo was an up and coming actor, and the one who’d introduced himself as Jongin was a professional dancer. Chanyeol had been the one to come with the idea of taking Baekhyun to the club in the first place. 

Baekhyun would tell you anecdotes from nights out he’d had with them during college, as well as other wild stories and you’d often find yourself laughing and smiling so hard your face hurt. Ever since your first night with him, you noticed how good he was at making the people around him feel at ease. He always knew what to say and when to make people laugh. 

Baekhyun was different from the other men at work because you liked being around him. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t find him attractive either. If you’d met him anywhere else, and he wasn’t your professor, you’d probably be more than willing to go on a date with him. 

But unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

You tore yourself out of your thoughts and realized how late it had gotten. Although it was only the first day, you already had homework you needed to start on. You spent the rest of the evening trying to be productive, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Baekhyun. How good he had looked, how attractive he sounded giving the lecture, how he wouldn’t stop looking at you. 

He was going to be much more present in your life now, whether you liked it or not.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday morning Baekhyun felt stupid for how excited he was to see you. He’d decided to get up early to work some exercise into his day, and hopefully clear his mind, but even as he took a shower and started getting ready to leave for work, he couldn’t get you out of his head. He’d decided to wear something a bit more casual and stylish, opting for a new pair of glasses, striped red t shirt, and cream slacks. He tried to make other excuses for why he wanted to look nice but in the back of his mind, he knew he wore it because he wanted to look good in front of you.

During the class before yours he noticed a female student in the first row chewing on the back of her pencil as she very intentionally leaned over her desk to grab a pen, putting her cleavage on display to him.

He only rolled his eyes, but he was pleased to see that his outfit was getting good reactions. He just hoped you’d like it.

When the class before yours left, Baekhyun felt his heart rate go up. What if you’d found a way to get out of his class? Would you even show up? Or if you did, would you just end up sitting as far from him as possible?

Usually he’d leave to go get a coffee during his break between giving lectures, but today he stayed in case you came early again. As the minutes went by students started to fill the lecture hall. Baekhyun couldn’t help but keep his eyes fixed on the door every time he heard it open, but he just kept seeing everyone but you. 

A minute before class started, you walked in and sat down in the second to last row.

Baekhyun felt his face light up as soon as saw you, only to immediately turn into a frown when he saw where you chose to sit down. It was as he’d suspected, you wanted to be as far away from his as possible. But at least you were there.

As Baekhyun started the lecture, he couldn’t help looking in your direction every few seconds. Even though you were in casual clothes without any fancy hairstyle or makeup, this was the version of you Baekhyun loved seeing the most. He was used to the perfected product you presented yourself as at your job, and he knew that wasn’t the real you. This was. You in leggings and a t shirt, your hair messily falling over your shoulders as you scribbled down notes. He could watch you like this all day. He noticed how your brows would furrow in confusion whenever he’d bring up a new concept, and how you chewed on your bottom lip when you were concentrating. Ever since he’d seen you like this on Monday, he couldn’t get enough. It was you, the real you.

He also noticed how you seemed to look everywhere in the room except for at him. You spent as much time as possible with your head down taking notes, even when there wasn’t much to write down. Other times your eyes would stay glued to the power point slides, or wander around the walls and ceilings. He understood why you weren’t exactly comfortable looking at him.

Despite being on the other side of the room, he was still able to pick up on little things. He noticed your leg bouncing, fingers tapping on the desk, and how much you would fidget when you weren’t writing notes.

He knew you were uncomfortable, and he hated it. He hated himself for being the reason. He wished there was something he could do or say that would make you enjoy being in his class more. Anything that would make you feel more at ease with him in this situation. If he wasn’t the only one teaching the class he wouldn’t have minded if you’d switched to a different professor, if it meant you were more comfortable. Of course he would’ve missed seeing you, but he also knew that was a selfish thought. He felt guilty that you had to be there and be uncomfortable because of him.

At the end of the lecture he gave the class their first proper assignment, a short essay analyzing Plato's “The Ring of Gyges”. It was an assignment he always gave at the very beginning of the semester, since it was a quite difficult read and gave him a good idea of how everyone would do in the class.

He was especially excited to see how you would do.

When class ended, you were the first one to leave and this time he didn’t stop you. He knew you wanted to leave and didn’t want to bother you again, still feeling slightly sorry for how late he’d kept you the first day. He’d only done it to try to reassure you about having him as your professor, but he hadn’t been expecting you to be as distressed about it as you were. In hindsight he realized he’d probably only made things more stressful for you.

Once the room was empty aside from him he packed up his things and left as well, hoping that you could become less anxious over time, and eventually, maybe even enjoy being in his class.

For now though, class had not been something for you to look forward to at all. You’d been dreading it ever since Monday afternoon.

That morning as you were getting ready, you tried to make yourself look a bit more presentable than you’d looked Monday, not wanting to live through the embarrassment of seeing Baekhyun look so nice while you were basically wearing pajamas again.

For the first half of your day you threw yourself into your other class work, successfully taking him off your mind for a while, but when your physics class ended and your next class was with him you felt yourself starting to panic.

You thought about skipping class, but you cared too much about your grade. You decided your best choice was to just get there as late as possible and sit as close to the door as you could so he wouldn’t be able to get you to stay after class again.

As you walked across campus you felt yourself get more and more nervous. Despite being there 20 minutes early and the room being open to sit down in, you sat down outside. As the minutes drew closer to class starting you felt your heart start to race and had trouble controlling your breathing. One minute before class was to start you got up, walked over to the door, and took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down a bit. You pushed open the door with shaky hands, and the second you could see into the room you notice Baekhyun's eyes on you, and his beautiful smile. You quickly looked down and hurried to the closest available seat in the back of the room, cringing at yourself.

As much as you wished you could, you couldn’t just ignore Baekhyun. He was the professor, you had to listen to him. But you had a hard time doing anything when he looked like he did. His shirt showed off his broad shoulders and he was wearing different glasses now too. He looked even better than he had on Monday. Had it not been for you already knowing him, you probably would’ve found him distracting for different reasons. You did everything you could not to look at him directly, knowing he’d catch you and see you blush. But who wouldn’t blush if he was staring at them while looking like that? You could tell some of the other girls in the class liked his outfit as well by the way they whispered to each other while shooting glances his way.

You wondered if maybe this was something he did often, if he liked starting things with students. If maybe his whole nice guy persona was fake and he really was just another scumbag.

But you soon realized that was just the bitterness speaking. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself but the thought of other girls trying to seduce him was bothering you. Baekhyun wasn’t a scumbag, not when he’d dedicated his life to teaching people about ethical issues and moral arguments.

As the class went on you couldn’t help but fidget and shift around in your seat. Even though you were avoiding looking at him, you knew his eyes were on you for much of the lecture. You’d figured it would be like this.

As it got closer and closer to the end of class you felt yourself get more and more panicked at the thought of him keeping you after again. You didn’t know what he could possibly keep you after for, but you didn’t want to stick around and find out, so as soon as he dismissed the class you nearly ran out without looking back.

“Hey, y/n!”

The sound of your name nearly gave you a heart attack, thinking it was Baekhyun who was going to force you to talk to him like this again but when you saw Lucas waving at you, you let out a relieved sigh.

“Hi Lucas.”

“I thought you’d come sit by me again today what happened?” He asked.

“Sorry about that, I was almost late today so I didn’t want to walk out there in front of the whole class” you said, hoping he wouldn’t see through your lie.

“Well I hope next time you’ll sit with me again.”

You managed to give him a small smile and nod, still a bit too frazzled over everything to want to talk to him.

“I have to get home, but I’ll se you Friday. Bye Lucas.” You waved at him as you went in the opposite direction.

You felt bad for not talking to him any longer, but you just weren’t in the right headspace.

On your walk home you felt weird. Had it really been that bad? Or were you just overreacting? Although he did look at you a lot Baekhyun seemed to teach the class as if everything was normal, more or less unaffected by your presence. He hadn’t seemed to mind your leaving either. Maybe he’d hadn’t planned to make you stay again. Maybe, it seemed, he was going to leave you be.

You knew Lucas would bother you about it if you didn’t sit with him again next time, but would you be okay to sit that close to the front again? Or even worse what if Lucas caught on that there was something going on between you and Baekhyun? He’d already seemed suspicious on the first day.

You decided your best course of action was to just do it and tough it out. All you needed to do was act like you did in all your other classes and everything would be fine right?

First however, you had to go home and face your roommate and tell her about this nightmare, having bottled it up until now. You weren’t exactly sure why you hadn’t told her right away. Maybe you felt strange about it since she had already told you you needed to keep him from getting any closer to you. Obviously that wasn’t going to be easy now.

As soon as you got home and put your things away you knocked on her door.

“YEAH?” You heard her yell through the door.

“Can I come in?”

“One second!”

A little while later the door opened.

“What’s up?”

“Can we have a girls night? I have some shit I need to tell you.”

You couldn’t remember the last time you saw Mia look so excited.

“You?? Have tea for ME??? Fuck yes!”

You thought about it, and this was pretty rare. 90% of the time she was the one unloading her boy problems on you, or any other kind of drama too for that matter. Not that you minded, that was just the dynamic you had gotten used to.

“Wanna order some food and put on a movie?” You asked.

“Sure.”

Your food eventually arrived and you put on a chick flick you’ve both seen a thousand times.

“So?? Are you gonna tell me what’s going on or what?” She asked turning to you, obviously looking forward to whatever you were about to fill her in on.

You sighed.

“So my philosophy professor this semester...” You swallowed, now having trouble getting yourself to say it.

“I know this sounds fucking insane but, Baekhyun’s my philosophy professor.”

The look on her face told you everything you need to know. The two of you had known each other for so long that words weren’t needed.

“I don’t know how it happened either. I signed up for the class forever ago anyway, before I even met him at the club. Just a bizarre coincidence. And he’s the only one teaching it and I need the credit to graduate so I'm stuck.”

“Shit dude.”

“Yeah I know. He kept me after class Monday and it was a fucking nightmare.”

“What did he say?”

“Basically just that I’m stuck with him. He also called me out for lying about what university I go to at work. And he said he liked me better ‘like this’ whatever the hell that means”

“He’s like obsessed with you isn’t he? He’s probably over the moon that he has a way into your personal life now which really fucking sucks for you.” She had a point. “Do you think he’ll still come see you at work?”

“I honestly really don’t wanna think about that right now.”

“Be careful, y/n. A customer having a crush on you is one thing but having him in charge of your grade is another. What if he starts trying to make moves on you and you shoot him down? He could fuck up your GPA just to get back at you or something.”

“No.” You responded, perhaps a bit too quickly. “No, Baekhyun isn’t like that. He’s not a bad guy, and I don’t think he’ll try anything anyway.”

“Really?”

“I’m not sure of course but he’s also a lot older than us and this is his job, I can’t see him risking his livelihood just for me.”

“He’s a college professor who’s giving you a thousand dollars a week, how does he even have that kind of money anyway? No way he gets paid enough as a professor to be giving you that much. He either has some other source of income or you’re already making him broke.”

You felt stupid for not having considered that yet. How the hell was he giving you so much? She was right, unless he was secretly rich or something there was no way he could afford to give you so much money every week without fucking himself over. Your stomach started to churn with the idea of him possibly even putting himself in debt just for your Saturday nights together. He couldn’t be that stupid right?

She could tell how much the conversation was stressing you out at that point.

“Listen,” she said, grabbing your hand “you just need to get through the semester. You can handle 16 weeks, class with him will get less awkward, and hopefully he’s at least smart enough not to come see you at work anymore now.”

The thought of him not coming anymore wasn’t a good one either though. You made much more money when he was there, and in under 2 hours. Staying at the club until 3am with school going on now, only to take home less money wasn’t really a good option either.

“I don’t wanna see him there but I need his money.”

“You’ll find some other guy who’s rich and in love with you soon enough, don’t worry, it’ll all be fine.” She said, pulling you in for a hug.

“Yeah..”

You knew she was just trying to make you feel better, but realistically you weren’t going to find another guy like Baekhyun at work, Even if someone came along who gave you as much money as he did, they wouldn’t be as fun to talk to, or as respectful as him. Guys like that just don’t come to strip clubs. You still didn’t even fully understand why he did.

“Just think of him as another one of your professors. It might be tough at first, but I think if you can do that you’ll be okay.” 

“You’re right, I just need to get my shit together and not let him distract me.” 

“See? Of course I’m right.” She grinned, and you couldn’t help but smile back. 

Eventually the movie ended, and by then it was late enough for the two of you to get ready for bed.

Talking to your best friend about it had made you feel slightly better. At least whatever happened, she would be there for you to talk it out with. Baekhyun wasn’t a bad person or anything either, it was just the situation that was stressing you out. As long as you could get ahold of yourself enough to focus on his lectures and do well in the class, you’d be fine. 

You kept reassuring yourself as you closed your eyes, and for the first night that week you didn’t stare at your ceiling for hours worrying, you went right to sleep.

Next Chapter

[messifangirl]

I... I kinda want to know more about the Cressi waiter and Royalty AUs? They sound like incredible stories. Is vampire/werewolf the one you have a chapter posted? Could you show something more, pretty please?

(Adding a cut!)

The Waiter AU I actually wrote way back in the day. It’s Like A Fairy Tale (5.5k) But I always wanted to write a follow up to it and I have a lot of notes and pieces the sequel. Here’s some:

Cristiano rolls his eyes. "Nothing's wrong," he says. "I just feel like..." He lowers his voice. "Like, I'm chasing him." It sounds silly to say it out loud, and Cristiano's fears are proved right by Marcelo's response.

Marcelo laughs. "Good! It's about time somebody made you work for it." He slaps Cristiano on the arm, laughing again and turning back to his bag. "I like him even more now. Make sure he stops by after the game so I can say hi." He fist bumps Sergio and heads towards the exit.

Sergio watches him leave before focusing on Cristiano. "So it's a little unusual for you. And you're chasing him. But... He's worth it, right Cris?" He widens his eyes imploringly and bites his lip. "I mean, you love him." He flicks his eyes around the room to see if anyone overheard him before turning his attention back to Cristiano. "Right? You've always loved him. He was your first kiss!"

Cristiano's smile dims a little. "Sergio," he says, exhaling and tilting his head back. "It's not that easy, okay?"

And this really isn't a conversation he wants to be having here.

Or at all.

A few seats down, Fabio catches his eye and looks at him questioningly--ready to save him from Sergio if necessary. Cristiano gives a quick shake, indicating everything is fine.

"What do you mean?" Sergio asks, crestfallen. He sits down on the bench in front of Cristiano as if his knees can't hold him up anymore. A hand darts to his waist to fidget with his towel. "You don't love him anymore?" His voice wobbles.

"Sergio," Cristiano starts, rubbing a hand across his face. He takes a deep breath. "I *did* love him. Once. As a child... But it's been fifteen years. And sure, I like him. But I like the idea of him—I liked who he was, and of course I like the look of him now. That's not the point, of course... But things have changed for the both of us... He doesn't know me, and I don't know him. Not really.”

Sergio's still looking up at him with sad eyes. "But..."

Cristiano huffs. "All I'm saying is, we're taking things slow, okay? And it's a little hard, what with our schedule, and the fact that he works two jobs." He shuts his eyes and pictures Leo's face, imagines stroking his cheek and seeing that gorgeous smile. "But yes," he says quietly, opening his eyes again. "I think he's worth it."

The Royalty AU is actually a fairly new idea. Royalty AU has always been one of my fav AUs to read in other fandoms but because I’ve reread kkslover9′s A Tale of Two Princes a thousand times and it is sooooo good, I never really thought to try my own. Until now. It’s still very much in the works and being outlined, and I just completely decided to rewrite the beginning so I don’t want to give you anything that won’t make it into the final, but here’s a little haha.

"It's your duty," Sergio says quietly. "We're all required to do our part. Mine, since I was a child, has been to follow your every step and keep you safe from all harm." He claps a hand on Cristiano's shoulder. "And yours is to lead your people when the time comes. You've already proved your worth in battle, and your men will follow you anywhere. But you've been raised since birth with the expectation to one day take the throne when His Majesty passes. And despite your feelings about what's happening today, I know that you're aware of your responsibilities."

Cristiano's jaw tightens but he forces himself to relax. "Of course you're right," he says, shifting to lean against the wall as well. "I'm just..." He trails off and swallows his frustration down until he can find the words. "I would have preferred Prince Koke over some savage from Barcelona," he adds with a huff. "At least I've met Koke and he's not terrible to look at."

"Koke?" Sergio scoffs. "We both know that you could never be interested in a man who never picked up the sword." He wiggles his eyebrows. "Now, on the other hand, they say Prince Lionel--like you--has commanded Barcelona's armies for years. He's the second son and barely ever attended court. And when he did return home, it was never without a trophy from battle. Apparently, his skill with the sword is unmatched. They call him La Pulga." He quirks his lips. "Think he'd be up for a bout? I'd love to see if what they say is true. And if so, test myself against the best."

Cristiano ignores him. "La Pulga? He's going to be hideous," he murmurs. "I just know it. Probably some uncivilized creature who's disgustingly bloodthirsty and unfit to be seen in our company." He stares down toward the courtyard again, and shudders. "I don't even want to think about it."

The Vampire/Werewolf one is the one I posted a chapter of, yes. It was inspired by some art @detodores did for Cressi week a while back. Here’s some not yet posted :)

The vampire--Leo--looks away, seeming embarrassed. "Yes, but... I'm sorry, it's just feeding is usually just such a private process." He opens his mouth and then closes it like he's rethinking his words. "I fed from two of the wolves from the other pack. They were the ones that volunteered, and I will not betray their names," he says warningly.

"So it did not have to be from all of them?" Cristiano asks, his worries about how much the vampire needed to drink coming to the surface. On the other hand, he's grateful that the rest of his pack can be kept safe and be spared the entire process.

"I realize you are just curious," Leo says with a blink, "however you should be aware that you have just implied I am very promiscuous." He doesn't quite look at Cristiano. "As I said, it is a private process. It can be very... sensual."

Cristiano's cheeks flush as he realizes his misstep. "You're saying it's like fucking," he says, envisioning throttling Sergio for sending him in to do this. Wolves are not shy of their bodies, with the constant shifting leading to the necessity of nudity, but anything leading to actual sexual acts is much rarer and much more sacred.

Leo has no reaction to the crude word. "It can be. Or, it can be simply... meaningful." He sighs. "Blood given is very different from blood taken, despite what you have read or what they show in movies and shows these days. It's about a connection with someone, as well as being about nourishment."

"So it doesn't hurt?" Cristiano asks then, not really wanting to explore this any more than he has to. He's grateful to turn away from the mention of sex and into something else. Of course, he's also somewhat incredulous that such a thing is painless.

"I can make it hurt," Leo says, eyes still not looking at Cristiano. "But I do not. There's no point." He tilts his head as if in thought. "I can not speak for others of my kind. If you are bitten by another vampire, it may not be as I have described."

"So you're not a monster," Cristiano says skeptically, thinking back to the tales of Dracula and trying to replace them with something like a sparkling Edward Cullen.

"Oh, no," Leo says, interrupting his thoughts. "Make no mistake. I am most definitely a monster." He smiles again, and this time, shows two large fangs jutting down from the top of his mouth. They're as white as the rest of him, looking sharp and pointy and dangerous. "Even in this," he pauses and sounds frustrated, "weakened state. I would not call myself anything other than a monster."

"You've killed people then," Cristiano ventures, easing the pressure on his heels even as the conversation does nothing to ease his anxiety.

"Haven't you?" Leo asks, sounding tired again. "The world is not always kind to monsters, is it? And I've lived a very long time. I've had to eat. Had to survive." He closes his eyes again, black lashes stark against his pale skin. "Humans have always been so fragile... It's why I thought working with the wolves would be so beneficial. A way to take humans out of the equation entirely."

"And now your wolves have abandoned you," Cristiano says flatly. "Left you here, in our territory, to die. Because they certainly know we have you. They've had a month to figure that out. And still, they did nothing." He doesn't know why he's trying to drive this point home. Maybe because he hates those wolves and wants Leo to hate them too.

Leo does not reply. 

[gelo-p]

It may be a long request, but what memorable moments (scenes) for each characters from OddTaxi caught your eyes the most ? (included images as well) It will be interesting to hear it from you, as someone who reviewed each episode of this series.(and was fun to read) I can wait if this take some time to answer back, no need to rush(> ◡ 0) Honestly ,this show is so unique & such an underrated gem!! It's like you said: "DAMN. ODDTAXI WHY YOU SO GOOD"

LOL thanks, I’m flattered that you found my weekly ramblings fun to read ^^; I didn’t intend to review the series though. I was planning to just make a series of minor complaints about an otherwise good story, but... well. It was clear by episode 5 that the writing was deeper than I thought.

Having said that, here are my favorite moments for each characters anyway!

(●'◡'●)

------

Taeko-san

Episode 8.

Suddenly acting all cutesy and embarrassed ^^;

------

Nagashima

Episode 1.

I was just surprised to find that he’s in the first 5 minutes of episode 1.

------

Kabasawa

Episode 9.

DEYM, SON @_@

Maaaaybe focus on catching Dobu? Also what the hell, 10k yen to assist on catching Dobu???

Slow clap. Brilliant, mate.

Episode 9.

I did feel bad for him though. In his pursuit of fame, he’s bitten more than he could chew. This scene stood out to me for a different reason though:

Who apologizes in less than a minute???

------

Shibagaki

Episode 6.

It didn’t initially carry much weight, but once you realize he did this to try and remain relevant in the entertainment world, it’s kinda sad. Especially with Baba getting all the attention recently.

Episode 6, ending credits.

------

Baba

Episode 6, ending credits.

Contrast to Shibagaki, Baba is experiencing one hell of a high in his career. Can’t entirely blame him for not focusing too much attention on the N-1 contest anymore. This entire exchange with Shibagaki was so memorable because... it just shows how different their careers have become.

Also, just right before this scene, it was shown that

HE’S ACTUALLY DATING NIKAIDO WTF

------

Kuroda

Episode 3.

This scene where Kakihana thought Kuroda was talking to him was just hilarious. Not to mention once you hear him speak, you realize...

He’s voiced by this guy.

-----

Donraku

Episode 1.

This annoyed the hell out of me. I thought this was one of those typical Japanese TV commentary panels. When I wondered if “Don-chan” might be Donraku, I thought of this scene and concluded “Nah, can’t be him. Would you act all calm - let alone appear on TV like that - if your daughter was missing? Nah.”

How wrong I was of course, but this scene has always stuck in my head.

Of course, the president of the agency being in the shot was probably meant as a clue of some sort... But we didn’t know that yet, did we?

Episode 11.

------

Kakihana

Episode 5.

This was just so awkward to watch. 🤦‍♂️

Episode 9.

I still feel bad for him at the end of it all, of course. He just wants to move on and throws the ring away... but he realizes how much it cost. ^^;

(Finally, of course there’s also that scene with Kuroda from earlier)

------

Tanaka

Episode 4.

This scene. I’ve ranted about it before already :v

Episode 9.

Does this count? Of course we now know that this was actually Little Daimon, but at the time, I was so annoyed at how overpowered Tanaka was made to be.

------

Imai

Episode 8.

Episode 11.

Imai’s love for Mystery Kiss (well, Nikaido) is probably greater than all our love for ODDTAXI combined.

A true man of culture.

------

Big Daimon

Episode 1.

DIRTY COP! DIRTY COP RIGHT HERE- *bang* ughh

------

Little Daimon

Episode 7.

This was the moment I started considering that Odokawa really has nothing to hide in his closet. It would have been extremely risky for him, considering how straight of a cop (albeit a little naive) Little Daimon is.

Episode 12.

This was a genuinely sad moment for me. Your brother, who you decided to punish evil with, was part of the evil you’ve been trying to punish all along. That’s gotta hurt, man.

------

Dobu

Episode 9.

Dobu’s actually quite a nice guy, huh? I mean, yeah, not really, but come on. He did let Kabasawa off with a life lesson instead of a more serious beating.

Episode 10.

Really? :))

Episode 12.

Again, DOBU SHOULD HAVE JUST SHUT UP. “IT’S A SILHOUETTE BRO,  THAT’S NOT ME, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.”

Also, I kinda refuse to believe Dobu would use his silhouette for the game. We couldn’t even tell who the hell ditch-11 was but suddenly *poof* it’s Dobu’s silhouette!

I would have preferred if Tanaka’s story of sending a message was true. It would be much more believable. Then Tanaka sends another message to ditch-11 then and there...

And then Dobu’s phone rings. Surprised pikachu face.

Also, Dobu quit playing some time ago but was still Rank 1??? What the hell?

------

Yano

Episode 7.

When Yano was introduced, I was amazed that they actually made him rhyme all his lines (or at least introduce some rhythm). Even the translation was keeping up!

Episode 8.

He’s an asshole, but he makes funny faces.

Episode 12.

Funny faces :))

------

Sekiguchi

Episode 10.

Sekiguchi provides a very good example of how bad guys can use your social media data. This is practically a PSA.

DON’T POST TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION ONLINE!!

Episode 11.

I still need an explanation why Nikaido had to do the lifting WHEN SEKIGUCHI, A LITERAL HUGE THUG, IS RIGHT THERE. It’s not like he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, he’s already filthy AF at the 2nd pic!!

Episode 12.

About to be “arrested”, still worried about Yano’s rhyming. ^^;

------

Yamamoto

Episode 2.

Right off the bat, we immediately know that he... has his own share of secrets.

Episode 5.

...But that he also genuinely cares for the girls.

...To some extent, as shown in that entire taxi ride :))

------

Ichimura

Episode 3.

“Oh no.”

Obviously, anybody who shows interest in you, Kakihana, after you misrepresent your salary... probably should be red-flagged. Of course, we the viewers immediately know that she’s being tailed by her manager, so we have an idea that she’s being roped into it.

Episode 8.

I can’t even-

------

Nikaido

Episode 2.

This Nikaido - she’s seen some things.

Episode 7.

Damn, probably done some things as well! D:

Also, that entire thing where Sekiguchi refused to carry Mitsuya’s body?

Nikaido is strong!!!

Idols are scary, man.

------

Mitsuya

Episode 11.

It’s saddening because Mitsuya genuinely wanted to support Nikaido. Had she not gone to the office that night, things would have been much different for all of us.

------

Wadagaki

Episode 5.

“Why is she helping Tanaka???” Of course, I thought she was Mitsuya at this point.

Also, she really loves karaage, huh. I wondered if that was a clue, but I guess not. ^^

...It��s not, right..?

Episode 13.

Need I say more about this scene?

------

Goriki

Episode 1.

THIS WAS CONFUSING, MAN.

Episode 1.

Also, that entire exchange about cassette tapes and Bruce Springsteen ^^;

“Damn these guys are old” LOL

-----

Odokawa

Episode 1.

I like how... rude he is :))

Episode 3.

And so done with bullshit :))

Episode 8.

I do remember when he sneezed while taking the photo, in order to hide the shutter sound. Smart :^)

...

Odokawa’s in a weird position because even though he’s the main character, I remember him more for moving the story rather than being a character, if that makes sense. Sorry! >_<

Episode 13.

Of course, there’s the entire sequence of him flying his taxi... But again, that’s more of a nod to the story, not him. If it counts as “memorable scene involving Odokawa”, then there you go! That final sequence was just beautiful to watch. ^^

------

AND FINALLY!

------

Shirakawa

Episode 2.

Shirakawa’s just a straight-up lovable character. I love that Odokawa can’t handle her XD That entire taxi ride scene was just brilliant.

Episode 2.

And then she tops it all off with that power move with the front camera.

Episode 3.

PLUS SHE CAN DO CAPOEIRA!

Episode 10.

ACTUALLY USABLE-IN-COMBAT CAPOEIRA!

Episode 13.

EVEN UNDERWATER!

Where do I sign up for the Church of Shirakawa???

Shirakawa’s just too damn memorable for me. ^^;

------

Goddamn that was the longest ask I’ve ever answered. I hope my answers were at least satisfactory XD

ODDTAXI AOTY!!

(I didn’t realize answering this kind of question would be hard work :’D Compiling screenshots to make a somewhat objective point is surprisingly easier, huh)

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[arigatouiris]

an inconvenient crush // kenma kozume x reader (1/2)

Author’s Note: A new story?? SO SOON?? Thank you for all the love for my previous Kuroo story, it meant the world to me. I write for myself primarily, yes, but it brings me SO MUCH JOY to know that my words reach you. It helps with the motivation to put them out more often. Thank you. This story is very close to my heart because I’m a gamer, although I don’t stream. I’m more like Kenma though, personality wise. Haha.

Word count: 5k+

Pairing: YouTuber! Kenma Kozume x Streamer! Reader

Summary: YouTuber Kozume Kenma has had the biggest crush on Twitch Streamer, (s/n) (y/n), who in actuality simps heavily after Kenma's secret YouTube persona, puddinghead0.

What happens when their paths cross?

Kuroo is honestly tired of Kenma's second-guessing, and (y/n) is a bit of a crackhead.

Warnings: unrequited love, one-sided crush, slight angst, pining, crackhead reader, internet bullying, slang, gaming references, haikyuu manga spoilers, fluff

C h a p t e r O n e : puddinghead0

Kozume Kenma suddenly turned existential when his eyes shifted to his phone screen for the 12th time in ten minutes.

Was he always doing this? Was he always obsessed with his phone to a point where he'd constantly check for notifications? Did this mean he was deeply lonely on the inside and wanted approval from people on a virtual platform, which meant that the approval was also virtual and none of it was real? Did it mean that he craved to nullify the growing void in his chest by distracting himself with a black mirror that showcased light that could permanently impair his sight?

He let out a breath and forced himself not to look at his phone. He didn't care. It didn't matter. That's what he always said.

    "Hey!" His classmate/room-mate screamed from the entrance to his flat, "Are you watching her stream? Posted two minutes ago!"

His phone was definitely slow. He had been checking his phone but there was no notification. Letting out a breath, and giving himself a mental reason to actually check his phone, Kenma opened the notifications tab to see the one notification he had kept his eye out for had been buried under ridiculous facebook notifs.

An inconvenient crush, that's what he told himself whenever he looked at you. You were a streamer, a bit different from what he did on YouTube because you were primarily on Twitch. There were reaction videos of you on YouTube, which was where he found you, but damn—how could one be pretty while rage-quitting a game? It was abnormal. Nothing about you was normal; college student/Twitch streamer, an apparent baker in your mother's bakery, game reviewer for Sony, and you were insanely cute.

    "She's getting to that part," his roommate commented from behind Kenma's back, while Kenma really just wanted to watch the video in peace, "Shit, she's gonna cry."

You did cry, quite a few times, and too easily if he could add. You cried at the ending of God of War, you cried to The Last of Us (which made sense, but you were perhaps just bawling throughout the entire game), you cried in a game called Detroit: Become Human, you cried far too easily, but you never really quit. He loved how passionate you were about games, and it was the sort of passion he could completely understand.

    "Oh shit," You said in the video, your eyes scanning all over the game screen, "What's happening? What's happening?"

Kenma chuckled at how cute you were, god, you were killing him. You looked worried, and he could visibly see a sweat drop on your forehead, but you were so focused that it didn't matter. Suddenly, there was a screaming sound from the game you were playing, and your eyes popped open as wide as they possibly could and you just sat there, unmoving. He loved how you never squealed or made any loud reactions, except when you were in a fight with a difficult boss, but whenever something traumatic happened, you just froze and sunk it all in. You were currently playing the second part of The Last of Us, and a traumatic scene was definitely happening. Kenma had just finished playing it the night before, so every scene you were playing was familiar.

    "I officially hate this game," You said, your voice breaking and he desperately wanted to hold you, "Fucking hell."

    "God, she's amazing." Kenma's roommate said, eyes turning into literal hearts.

    "Hm." Yeah, she is, Kenma thought, but could never really say.

As a YouTuber himself who streams games, he was aware that you were not as popular, and it was a fact that he really didn't like. Sure, you were on a less popular platform, but Twitch was incredibly popular by itself as well. He also understood the bias that came with being a female gamer, and while it sounded ridiculous to him, Kenma was one of those people who believed gaming required no gender.

He adored your content, and he secretly adored the hell out of you, so seeing you soar would only make him happy.

    "I... I can practically feel what pain she's feeling right now," You spoke about the game, a lone tear threatening to leak out of your eye, "But! We shall persevere. I've been waiting 7 years for this game, so I won't let... won't let something like this halt my interest. Let's see if this has a point to it all."

God, he adored you. But, Kenma considered it an inconvenient crush because of course, the world was small. The first big crush he has on someone and he hoped it would remain over the internet, but it just had to become something more tangible, something that could make him weak in the knees.

You, a college student/Twitch streamer, an apparent baker in your mother's bakery, a game reviewer for Sony, insanely cute, and also happened to be one of his YouTube channel's biggest fans.

He had only recently discovered your personal twitter handle, and dear lord, you were simping after him with no remorse. It wasn't as if he was all you talked about, but he had also noticed the trajectory of the games you were playing were on par with his own timeline. Kenma had finished his final stream for The Last of Us II just the night before and you had now started playing it. Right before that, it was Bloodborne, and before that, it was Final Fantasy VII Remake. However, your public handle was a lot more professional and despite knowing that it was there, he hadn't sent you a follow request because well, Kenma called himself an introvert in every matter but Kuroo just said he was shy.

While he knew that he could easily approach you and have you know he knew of your existence, Kenma preferred not to get into such detail. It was comfortable admiring you from afar, and it was comfortable being where he was—he had his company to work hard over, he was also a computer student and a YouTuber. Sure, he had his hands full especially after calling you abnormal for something that he himself was doing, but he never really fit into a bracket anyway. Kenma's latent obsession with you was something he wasn't particularly proud of and this wasn't because it had anything to do with you, but simply because he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Change, in many ways, scared him. And by changing the structure or dynamics of him admiring you in secret, while you admired him not so secretly, Kenma was certain that it might not lead where he may have wanted it to go.

Surely, Kuroo was against this sort of caution, calling it cowardly and saying it lacked passion; but Kenma knew it was just a crush. There was no way he could deduce the kind of person you were based on how you gamed or reacted to games, based on the little tid-bits of information you gave out while playing those games, or even how you openly spoke about how much you admired 'puddinghead0's videos. Kenma hated Kuroo for giving him that name, but he was too lazy to come up with a new one.

    "Also," You sprung up in the final two minutes of your latest video, "I'm on Patreon, now! I honestly have no idea how it works, but if you really like the content I make and want to support me, you can become a patron and wish me luck!"

Kenma waited for his stupid roommate to go out of his room before he could open Patreon and find your link, which was thankfully in the description. Without a second thought, he donated to your profile but cussed instantly when he realized what he had done.

He had sent you a donation as himself, as 'puddinghead0's Patreon.

Without a second thought, Kenma called Kuroo and explained what had happened.

    "That is why, Kenma, you need to check a thousand times and not let blind love navigate your actions—"

    "If I knew you were going to spout such nonsense I wouldn't have called you."

He could hear Kuroo snicker while he ran a hand through his hair. Kenma groaned before Kuroo said, "How bad is this, Kenma? She'll be happy. Of course, this means she'll know you watch her content, but how bad can this be?"

    "I didn't want her to know."

    "And leave her devoid of the happiness of having her idol appreciate her content? You're cold, Kenma."

    "You don't understand. What if... What if she tries to contact me?"

    "You, my friend, have not even shared your personal account anywhere. The only way she can contact you is by commenting on your videos, which I am sure you check constantly to see if she did comment, or Tweeting, which she does every three days."

Kenma blushed at the accusation because it was true.

    "She won't know who you are. Besides, there's no harm if she even does contact you! Just tell her casually that yeah, you like her contact. I don't see what the big deal is."

    "Of course you don't—"

    "Oh, she's tweeted something."

Kenma's entire body froze. Leaving Kuroo on the call, Kenma opened Twitter on his laptop and there it was, your latest tweet.

I am trying NOT to freak out over puddinghead sending me a donation on Patreon, pls save my soul, I am dead.

Kenma groaned before hearing Kuroo laugh once more, "She's adorable!"

I know that, Kenma thought before feeling his entire face flash up. Ending Kuroo's call, Kenma looked at your public profile before then moving to your personal one. He wasn't following that one either, but he wanted to see your tweets, he wanted to know more about you—he wouldn't deny any of these facts, but Kenma believed it was far too idiotic to dream of getting to know you through a virtual media. He wasn't even the sort of person to become close to people he met in real life, how could he allow himself a virtual friendship?

The thought staggered him, and the idea behind it was what kept him at bay. Kenma wanted to know about you, talk to you, learn about who you were and what you were doing, but he felt the media that connected you was what separated you.

It wasn't cowardice at all if he was just sticking to the facts and being real.

*

The next day, Kenma walked to his class by himself, listening to the latest podcast by Joe Rogan. While the external sound wasn't entirely muted, Kenma could discern sounds of people talking, cars moving around, and other noises even though he was playing the podcast on full sound. However, there was one sound in particular that stood out. Kenma paused before turning to his right, noticing a crowd of people had gathered there, with some sort of event going on. He didn't pay attention to half the events that his college conducted, his mind was obviously quite busy elsewhere, but when the announcer moved around in a weird Joker cosplaying outfit, Kenma was a tad bit intrigued.

Was it gaming related?

He slowly moved toward the crowd before finally being able to hear what the anchor was saying.

    "We've got prizes for the top three best performers, and one of the participants is the one and only (s/n) (y/n), streamer from Twitch!"

Kenma froze, half-minded to run the hell away from there. But, it seemed as if his feet were stuck to the ground. How had he not known this? Didn't you always announce the events you go to? Why were you suddenly here? A second later, he spotted you, hair put up in an updo, a plain black tee, and regular jeans. You were smiling, but some part of that smile seemed a bit hesitant.

    "We will be playing a bit differently today! Instead of the usual Fortnite battles or Apex Legends, we'll be going went and battling out on Red Dead Online! And of course, if you beat (y/n) here you earn bragging rights!"

He noticed you shift in your position a little bit, clearly uncomfortable with the attention you were getting; it didn't even look like you wanted to be there. Kenma could feel his chest hurt, and his palms were sweating now. That's all it is, he told himself. An inconvenient crush, an inconvenient crush, that's all.

Kenma sighed before noticing how he barely knew anyone there and was almost thankful for that fact; but before he could thank his stars, a hand threw itself around his neck and sprung him forward, earning the attention of not just everyone there, but especially you.

    "We have our first participant," It was his goddamn roommate, "Kenma's a brilliant gamer!"

Kenma's eyes immediately found yours, and you were looking at him with wide, confused eyes. Although this was set in the open and the atmosphere was quite cold, Kenma felt nothing but warmth radiating all over his body at the mere sight of you; you were just a few feet away, and you were giving him a rather sympathetic expression, and god, you looked so fucking pretty—

    "That's great! Sign up, ya'll! Winner will be winning a brand new DualShock 4!"

Oh fuck, Kenma thought before he felt his heart beginning to pound. He was now seated beside you, and he could practically shrink into non-existence. You were unmoving, and you weren't looking at him, but would you have looked at him if you knew he was puddinghead? Insecurity swarmed his being and he could practically feel steam escaping his ears but a moment later, he thought he'd die.

    "This was so last minute," you said, rubbing the back of your neck, "The anchor's my cousin and she's so demanding."

    "Oh," Kenma said, feeling his heartbeat skyrocket, "I see."

    "Yeah! I mean," You giggled now, "I'm not even good at Red Dead Online!"

Kenma smirked, knowing the fact already. You struggled with Red Dead Redemption not because you were bad, but because you couldn't progress with a plot so divisive. You wanted to explore more, and since the game was so vast, you barely bothered with the Online version. You turned to him now and tilted your head.

    "You're a gamer, I heard? Kozume-kun, right?"

Fuck, she knows my name, "Y-Yeah. I game when I'm free."

    "Do you have a Twitch or YouTube?"

There's no fucking way I'll answer that, "No—"

    "Ah, you must really be having a great time then."

Kenma blinked before turning to you with confusion. What did you mean?

    "Don't you enjoy streaming?"

    "Ah, no, no," You flailed your hands shyly, and Kenma believed he could combust, "It's not like that. I just think, after a point, streaming becomes more for the fans than for yourself. I used to do it for me, but now... I'm needed in places like this for promotion, and I need to have a Patreon if I'm popular or it'll look weird, I don't know... Too many restrictions. I just love gaming, you know?"

Kenma found himself smiling, "Yeah, I know. I've seen your videos."

    "Oh?"

Kenma's eyes widened. He wanted to slap himself on his forehead.

    "I—I mean, y-you're popular."

    "Thanks! You're really sweet, Kozume-kun!"

Fucking hell, Kenma placed a hand on his forehead, She's too cute.

    "Say," you said, a sly tone to your voice, "Do you want to get out of here?"

    "I'd do anything." Kenma honestly agreed.

But, you couldn't just up and leave. You were called here as Twitch streamer (s/n) (y/n), and that meant your behavior was restricted. As much as you seemed to hate said restriction, Kenma was certain that you wouldn't go against it. It could take a big blow against your viewership, and you wouldn't take that chance.

A second later, your hand gripped his wrist before you shot him a wink. Kenma's heart jumped to the skies before you pulled him away from the crowd, with participants lining the entrance to enter their names. Sure, you were doing something bad—your cousin wanted you there, but not once had she even asked if you wanted to be a part of this event. Just as Kenma was pulled in without his consent. You weren't a competitive gamer, and you were not going to be, even if it was for someone else. After running away a fair distance, Kenma felt the part of his wrist burn right where you were touching him.

    "I think I need to run more in real life and not just as Ellie." You said, and Kenma chuckled.

    "Running's good."

    "I used to run track," You said, turning to him. "Now I run in games and that's it."

You have no right being that cute, he thought before clearing his throat. He slowly pulled away from you, which made your eyes widen before shooting him an apologetic smile. He was a bit confused as to what you had done, did this mean you didn't care about losing followers?

    "You might think that I've committed career suicide," You scoffed, "Honestly, this is the bravest I've been in so long."

    "What do you mean?"

You shrugged, "Ever since I became a bit popular by streaming, I've just... I could feel myself change with the way my viewers wanted me to be? I don't blame them or anything, I just think that the love I get from them makes me yearn for more. And that yearning leaves me... inept to be myself. It's the downside of wanting to remain popular, I guess."

    "It's not like you can't be yourself and still be popular." Kenma added.

    "Yeah I know," You said, "I mean, just look at puddinghead0, we don't even know what he looks like, and wow. I adore his content."

Kenma froze once more. Was this being recorded? Did Kuroo finally tip you off and was this being filmed for his reaction? Whatever it was, he wasn't going to reveal to you now.

    "Y-Yeah, I think he just doesn't care."

    "I wish I was more like that because I end up caring. I like the comments and the views and the love. Agh, it's such a weird complex moral question. Don't even get me started."

Kenma laughed at your reaction before you turned to him and stuck a tongue out. Kenma rolled his eyes before waving a hand at you.

    "If anything," Kenma said, looking at the ground, "You didn't lose this follower today."

Your eyes widened at his statement. You smiled before nodding, and let out a chuckle.

    "Thank you, Kozume-kun."

*

Locking the door to his room, Kenma began to edit for his latest video. He was making a review for The Last of Us 2, but his mind was elsewhere. He still hadn't told Kuroo that he had met you, which would only cause the black-haired man to tease him relentlessly. Letting out a sigh, he felt sleep douse his eyelids as he continued the edit, right before a notification popped up on his phone.

It was you.

He narrowed his eyes before checking the date and time; it was unusual for you to stream live on random days. He'd learned your pattern by now. You'd been doing this for a couple of months, and it was quite easy for him to know just when and what time you'd begin. However, the screen for The Last of Us 2 was open and you looked like you had just stopped crying. His heart broke at the sight, and he instantly closed the tabs to his own edit, before opening your video on his monitor. You were taking deep breaths before chuckling.

    "Hello to everyone that's still with me," You sounded so broken, Kenma felt helpless as he continued staring at you, "You might be wondering why I'm... yeah. So, I did something and I guess I got punished for it? I was forced into a game contest and I think walking out of it made some of my followers mad. I even spoke to this other person about walking out and honestly, it didn't hit me then that what puddinghead's doing takes a lot of courage."

    "Ah, fuck, (y/n)," Kenma groaned.

    "I guess even when I expected to lose followers, I didn't expect the hate? Some of the comments were just... nasty. I..." You sniffed, "...I didn't expect that you would hate on someone for making a personal choice? And I didn't do it to offend anyone, I seriously don't know how the internet works. Oh, oh wow—" You looked troubled and Kenma could see why. "—losing out on viewers now, great. 'Don't be a whiny bitch', 'This is why girls shouldn't game'..."

You took a deep breath before calming down and saying the few words Kenma feared you might eventually come around to say.

    "This is (y/n), signing off to a world where gaming is appreciated and is not filled with a community of hate. Hope to see you there."

And the stream ended.

Kenma sighed before leaning back, no thought in his head. He knew for a fact that his room-mate must have seen the stream as well, and Kuroo would be calling him about the entire ordeal just to ensure he had something to say about it. Kenma, on the other hand, felt like he had practically pushed you to make this decision and partly felt like taking the blame, despite the common sense telling him that he had nothing to do with it. You weren't the sort of person who would jump at something without a second thought, and even if he didn't know you personally, he had been following you and your streams for months now. It felt like he knew that part of you quite well.

Kuroo was the first to call. Kenma stared at the phone for a bit before letting out a breath and getting back to editing his video. He only had to add commentary, and his mind was already circling on what to say.

Uploading the video took him exactly two more hours, after having missed three calls from Kuroo and twelve messages. At one point, Kuroo had even stopped contacting Kenma, thinking he was busy with something, and he was spot on. Kuroo's eyes wandered on the new notification about his friend's YouTube channel, which was weird considering it was not yet time for him to post something. He knew quite well that Kenma might have definitely seen (y/n)'s stream, and wanted to desperately talk to him about it, but without a clue of what the boy was thinking, Kuroo simply clicked on the notification and let the video play out.

It was the review for the game, The Last of Us 2, and Kuroo knew while giving the review, which was around 8-9 minutes, Kenma would speak his thoughts that were a tad bit uncensored toward the end. He'd talk about the drama surrounding the game, he would even bring up the entire hate that this game was receiving, but instead—Kenma had a rather strange dialogue instead.

    "One thing I don't understand is how toxic the gaming community can be, at times," Kuroo paused, narrowing his eyes at his friend's words, "While we welcome new gamers to the entire journey of learning and discovering the joy of gaming, we also tend to put them down if they didn't adhere to a certain trend. I came across one such incident happening to (s/n) (y/n)'s Twitch channel."

    "Holy shit!" Kuroo sat up straight, eyes wide as saucers at the bold move his friend made.

    "I'm part of this community and I think I have the right to call out how toxic we are in general," 

Kenma's voice didn't even waver, but after knowing him his entire life, Kuroo could deduce that the boy was a bit angry, 

"(y/n) didn't particularly do anything wrong, and she's received some nasty comments about being a female gamer, and I think that's...just disgusting. She has all the right to either attend or ditch a gaming event, and no one has to be forced to do something they don't want to do. We all have games we don't like despite being gamers, we don't have to do it all. I support (y/n), and I'll admit, I'm saddened by how her fans have treated her. Her content is great and I have immense respect for her. I hope she decides to come back and stream more. That being said, I think The Last of Us 2 is..."

As he got around to talk more about the game, Kuroo knew that this was a huge step for Kenma, and he had no idea what suddenly made the boy rethink his entire decision on never bringing her up. Now that he had, he's indirectly initiated a conversation with her, she'd definitely try and reach out now—in any way she possibly could, just to thank him at least.

Kuroo noticed his phone ringing a second later and a grin made its way to his lips.

    "What just happened?"

    "I met her, Kuroo," Kuroo almost had the wind knocked out of him, "She was at my college campus. I was walking back to my room since classes were canceled. There was some sort of gaming event. She didn't want to be a part of it, and neither did I, and we ditched. It was—"

    "You like her more now, don't you?"

When Kuroo received nothing more than silence from Kenma's end, he was certain. His precious, introverted, best boy had fallen for someone. It was a proud moment, almost.

    "You have to tell her—"

    "Kuroo, this... this is all I want to do."

    "That's bullshit, and even you know that."

    "What? You want me to open up to her and tell her I'm the YouTuber she's been gushing about for so long and I was the one who kind of pushed her into doing what she did, and so that she can hate me afterward for hiding the truth because I wouldn't be losing out on anything and she—"

    "Whoa there, Kenma. I'm just saying go talk to her as her favorite YouTuber. You're overthinking this."

    "No, you're underthinking this. I did what I had to do. It was... hard to see her like that."

Kuroo let out a sigh but before he could say anything, Kenma had already ended the call. That boy needs to grow a pair, he thought, a bit annoyed at Kenma's nature of avoiding his feelings. While Kenma believed it was for the best, he knew he was simply running away from it. Kuroo knew his friend adored (y/n), but the boy couldn't categorize that as real feelings because he's met her just once. Finding something real virtually scared him more than finding something real in real life, and while Kuroo wanted to understand that, it only annoyed him because Kenma wasn't even trying.

When you watched puddinghead0's recent video, you were jaw-dropped in awe and absolute admiration. Tears filled your eyes, but what was more was how his voice now seemed a tad bit familiar, though you didn't pay any heed to it since you've been following this channel for an entire year now. It moved you to know someone you've been admiring has been watching your content, but at the same time, he was speaking up for you? You wanted to thank him, you wanted to send him a message and say you were incredibly grateful for what he's done and the only way you knew you could say something was on Twitter.

So you mentioned him on a tweet and poured your heart out within character limit. You wondered if he would notice your tweet since you've mentioned him countless times before, but even if he didn't, even if he paid you no heed after all of this, you were still grateful. However, a second later, you received a new follower. You blinked upon noticing that it was Kozume-kun from the other day. A soft smile fell on your lips at the soft recollection of running away from a gaming event, after which everything spiraled, but you didn't in any way blame him. Your mind again drifted back to puddinghead0 and you sighed.

I'd kill to see him, man, you thought, eyeing your tweet of him dreamily.

A second later, there was a notification. You almost spat out your heart at the mere words: puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

puddinghead0 likes your tweet.

    "Oh my god—" You choked on air. However, a second later, you found it difficult to remain sitting on your bed.

Don't thank me, I hope you're feeling better. You didn't deserve any of that.

Is that a—

...deserve any of that. <3

Fuck me.

Kenma almost dozed off in class right before it ended. It wasn't like it was school where the teacher would wake him up after noticing him asleep, no one really bothered. Kenma was pushed awake by the momentum of the class once it was over and he leaned back before gathering his things. Tightening his hair tie, he casually walked out of class and got to the campus. He spotted the event area, where the gaming event had occurred and instantly spotted his room-mate and a bunch of people gathered there. Rolling his eyes, he walked away from there, not wanting to gather any attention.

    "Kenma!"

He had failed. Kenma froze to his spot before turning to spot his room-mate dashing over to him, a wide grin plastered on his features. Wrapping a hand over Kenma's shoulders, his roommate brought him to the others he was talking to, before releasing him.

    "You're that guy (y/n) ran away with during that event, right?" One of them asked, and Kenma didn't bother to respond.

    "Why did she run though? I mean, it doesn't make sense for her to just up and leave."

    "I've been telling you," The same guy said, "She's not the one playing those games. She's just the face."

Kenma frowned. What is this dick talking about?

    "Man, I think that's harsh," His roommate said, "I just think she's too chicken to play in front of people—"

    "She's literally a streamer." Kenma said, rolling his eyes.

    "Yeah, but why did she—"

    "If you can't understand that she doesn't owe you shit, then there's no helping it. She didn't want to play at that event, and she didn't. I don't see why you aren't calling me a fake gamer for running too." Kenma snapped.

The others shrugged, "That's because we've seen you play—"

    "It's bullshit." Kenma said before walking away. You all are bullshit, he thought before the frown on his face settled into an uncharacteristic glare, directed at what who knows what.

A moment later, he felt his phone buzz with a notification. Kenma opened his phone and saw that he had a message from you, but what confused him was—

The message was directed to Kenma and not puddinghead. His heart jumped as his fingers roamed over the notification, wanting to open it only when he was in the comfortable confines of his room. Swallowing the bubbling anxiety, Kenma fought the urge to smile as he continued walking back, unaware of what the Twitter message could be. It would normally take him around 12 minutes to get to his apartment from campus, but that day, Kenma merely took 7.

On reaching his room, he finally allowed himself to open your message.

(y/n): Hey! I've taken a break from streaming for now, just wanted to let you know. I don't know why I'm sending you this message, but talking to you that day made me realize that I don't really need to seek approval constantly. Also, puddinghead liked my tweet and I'm a bit too happy so I needed to gush, don't @ me

Kenma chuckled, feeling his heart jump at every word you'd said. He knew you didn't realize that you were gushing about him to him, but that didn't matter. He wanted to gush about you too. He felt a stone stuck at his throat at how real all of this felt, despite having only seen you once.

Kenma Kozume: I think he's the sort of guy who isn't too loud about the things he likes. And I think a break is a good idea, (s/n).

(y/n): Call me (y/n), came the immediate response. Kenma's eyes widened at the fact that you were online, and that the two of you were currently exchanging messages live.

(y/n): Yeah, I got the feeling from his videos that he's perhaps a private person. I'm still really glad that he supported me, I can't thank him enough. I'm feeling much better already!

Kenma smiled, I'm glad that you are.

(y/n): Also

He blinked.

(y/n): Do you want to co-op at Bloodborne? I'm trying to get a platinum, haha.

    "Fuck," He let out a breath before chuckling uncharacteristically. "You can't be serious."

(y/n): I'll send you my PSN, and you can add me as a party member. Only if you're up to it, I mean.

Kenma Kozume: Sure, sounds like fun. Also

Kenma gulped. He felt like this was showing off, but he didn't care. He was going to say it.

Kenma Kozume: I already have platinum in Bloodborne. :)

(y/n): Ah, screw you.

Kenma chuckled. He wouldn't admit it, but his heart was hammering against his chest and his palms were sweating. Soon, he'd be connected to you via the DualShock and the two of you would be co-oping in a game that was designed to make players fail. He wasn't too sure how much more his heart was going to take, and while he knew he had to tell someone, for some reason, Kenma wanted to keep this a secret. It wasn't because he was ashamed or he didn't want anyone to find out.

It was simply because it was too good to be true, and he didn't want to lose out on a chance to get to know you more. Because, if this kept up...

If this kept up, Kenma was surely going to fall in love with you.

[murdereraisuha]

I wrote this for myself to try and organize my current theories on TWST, but I might as well keep this blog going even though I’m out of ideas for card maker memes.

This is basically a rant that starts out with theorizing about RSA, the Cater=Cinderella theory, and Split Card, but then spirals into a Cater character analysis.

For anyone who doesn’t know the Cinderella theory, it’s basically just Cater might have something to do with Cinderella because he has two bossy sisters, and during the ghost marriage there was this whole thing where Riddle needs to rescue Cater before midnight because of some Queen of Hearts rule. 

Spoilers for Cater’s personal stories (including his halloween outfit story) and chat, and chapter 4 of the main story. Okay now let’s get into it. Over 1,800 words geez what am I doing with my life

   Aight so Ace and Deuce don't have their unique magics yet and there is obviously Something going on with Cater so it really makes me think that we're gonna return to Heartslabyul somewhere down the line. We know there's gotta be more stuff with RSA, so that might tie into the Cater = Cinderella theory. Maybe we have a chapter focusing on RSA and Cater will be the main focus or ally for that. IDK man, I'm still kind of eh on the Cinderella theory cause it makes a lot of sense but we already have Mozus being the evil stepmother. Him and Cater are from the same hometown (?) but my concern is that if Cater is a main focus and he gets connected to Mozus then Mozus would also be in the spotlight which would be odd given how nothing seems to suggest that the teachers (except Crowley) getting bigger roles in the story. However, it could always be a situation like with Farena where Mozus is there and some sort of connection is briefly discussed but he isn't important and maybe someone else takes the role of evil stepmother in the story.

   Ok idk so we're gonna go back to Cater. If the Cinderella theory is true, we gotta consider how exactly Cater represents Cinderella. Does he represent Cinderella in the way that he's twisted from her (ex. Azul & Ursula) or that he just takes the role of Cinderella for a chapter (ex. Azul & The Genie)? The fact that he uses dark magic points to it being the latter, that he really is twisted from a card soldier. However, we gotta consider 1. the nature of his unique magic 2. the plot of Cinderella. Though we know he has the ability to clone himself, we don't know how exactly this works. Are the clones identical, or do/can they have differences? In episode 1-15, the Cater clones all have slightly different responses ("はーい" "まかせて！" "おっけー♪") to getting ready to paint the roses. Given how clones don't exist in real life, it's impossible to tell whether this variation indicates actual differences in personality, is just due to the clones' slightly different experiences (like a sort of butterfly effect), or if it's just a decision by the writer so they aren't repetitive. Another thing to note is that in that same episode Cater claims that cloning himself is tiring. If this is the only source for this information, there's the possibility that it just was a lie to let him manipulate the 1st years into helping him paint. Finally, Cater's ability makes me think of Twice from BNHA. Can only the original Cater create clones? Or is he like Twice in that his clones can also make clones, therefore making it impossible for anyone, including himself, to tell who is the original?

  What I'm getting at here is the possibility of Cater having clones that 1. stick around permanently and 2. are significantly different than him. This would create the possibility of him being twisted from both the card soldiers and Cinderella, but he is able to use his clone ability to split up those aspects of himself. One Cater is the card soldier one normally walking around NRC and who has dark magic, but then there's another Cinderella Cater who has light magic. Assuming this is what is going on, it would kind of connect to his two-sided personality, where he presents his bubbly, social-media addict personality to the world but has another, depressed, more private personality underneath. 

  Now, getting into what I mentioned before about the plot of Cinderella, Cinderella normally looks like a humble servant. However, with the aid of the fairy godmother, she completely transforms herself into a breathtaking princess so she can go to the ball. However, once the clock strikes midnight, she transforms back. Basically, Cinderella has the ability of transformation, to have two completely different versions of herself. One version is her true, plain self, while the other is a flashy deception. This information strengthens what I just said about Cater's personality and clone ability.

  Actually, just going into Cater's personality for a bit (yeah, “a bit” lol)... He has a big focus on always being presentable. In his lab coat, he seems pretty desperate to hide all evidence of his true self, claiming that he just failed at putting his magic in the depressed mandrake and then hiding all his other mandrakes aside from the fun ones. This desperation is similar to Cinderella's, with how she flees the ball in a hurry once it reaches midnight so no one will see how she truly looks once the spell breaks. Now, why do Cater and Cinderella behave the way they do? I don't remember Cinderella's exact motivations for attending the ball, but wikipedia says that she had to flee the ball because if the spell broke there she could get caught by her stepmother & stepsisters. What is Cater's "ball"? Well, because of his strong social media presence, his "ball" is basically everywhere, all the time. If something happens on social media that exposes his true self, breaking his "spell", not only can other students see it, but his sisters can also see it.

  Cater hates sucking up to his older sisters, which implies that he has had to suck up to his older sisters and put up his happy front around them too. Just like how Cinderella can't afford to let her stepsisters realize her true identity at the ball, Cater can't afford to let his sisters realize his true self. It's honestly kind of sad; unlike Cinderella, whose stepsisters only showed up later in her life, Cater's older sisters have been around him and making him miserable for all of his life.

  Kinda unrelated, but looking though Cater's chats, in the one he has with Trey they talk about the Queen of Hearts and her love for sweets, Cater remarks that he wants to have tea with her too, leading Trey to say that Cater would be unable to befriend her since they're in different social classes. Isn't this basically a genderbent version of Cinderella, just a commoner, wanting to go to the ball where the Prince is? 

  Now going back to Cater's personality. Even if he does fear his sisters, that doesn't seem to fully explain his 24/7 pep and focus on being magicammable. Now, what if we say that happiness=nobility. In Cinderella, she dresses up like nobility so she can remain in the ball where the actually rich people are. What if Cater is acting happy so he can fit in with the people around him, who are naturally happy enough that they don't need to fake it? Is this a fake it until you make it situation? At the end of his ceremony robes story, after he says he's tired and doesn't care about the ceremony, he says he's just kidding and goes back to talking about the selfies he took that day. Even though he's alone and wouldn't really get hurt for dropping his performance. It gives the vibe to me that his situation is not like Jamil's, where he's fully aware he's unhappy, deliberately acts otherwise in front of others, and tries to eliminate the cause of his unhappiness. Instead, Cater is trying to eliminate his unhappiness itself. He grasps onto magicam because if he fills up his account with pictures of a happy life, it's like he's actually living a happy life.

  This idea I have of Cater trying to fit in also goes along with his focus on the current trends, like in one of his gym uniform voice lines where he panics at the idea of not knowing about a new popular game. Rather than making his own aesthetics or trends, he goes along with the crowd. Sweets and desserts are trendy? Then he'll take tons of pictures of them and say they're super delicious even if he actually hates sweet food. He disregards or evades his own preferences to create the appearance that he's just like everyone else, and he puts effort into staying up to date so he can maintain that appearance.

  Moving on, I reread his halloween outfit personal story. Something that stuck out was the end, when Cater thinks that Lilia wouldn't understand what he's going through. Specifically, Lilia wouldn't understand his 下らなくてどーしよーもない feelings. According to jisho, 下らない can mean trivial/not worth bothering with/worthless, and it can also mean stupid/absurd/silly. Then, どーしよーもない (どうしようもない)  means something that can't be helped, that has no way out of it. Doesn't this seem kind of odd? That he claims his feelings are just trivial then but also he can't help having them? Is this a contradiction? Or is it something like he believes that most people wouldn't have these silly feelings but he specifically is too weak to push past them?

  For self-esteem though, he seems to at least be trying to boost it. Like in his gym uniform story, when he decides to just clone himself and have each one run 1 lap instead of him running 5 by himself, his clones all praise him for the idea. However, this could be a fake it until you make it thing again. The praise does seem a bit heavy-handed. 

  There's also the whole thing in the 2nd part of the story where he talks about all the shallow friendships he has made. He notes that he'd rather have a casual time with people rather than get attached. That plus his family situation... means he's really never had anyone to trust. Anyway, he then goes on to talk about how magicame is amazing for helping him maintain all these casual friendships. So there we have another reason for his social media addiction: not only does it let him create a picture of happiness, he can get tons of feedback affirming his happiness and serving as proof of happiness. How can he possibly be lonely if he has so many friends?

  Both in his ceremony robes and halloween outfit stories have a moment where Cater is tired and admits he's tired but then downplays it. Yeah, the ceremony was tiring, but he got tons of great pictures out of it! Yeah, dealing with guests was rough, but at the same time all the halloween stuff was exciting! This sort of thing is a pretty common strategy for increasing the persuasiveness of an argument. By first agreeing (yes, he's tired) with the opposing view (he is not happy), he can then push his own view (he is happy) and point at his earlier concession as proof that he has looked at both sides of the issue instead of only looking for evidence of his own belief. 

 So basically what I'm getting here is that Cater Is Not Okay. Prevented from building close bonds with friends or family, he's reinforcing his isolation himself through his fervent efforts to never let anyone close and never let his mask drop. He's gone so far as to try and convince himself that he's happier than he actually is through self-deception and social media.

  Alright that’s all I got for now see ya

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E98 (March 10, 2020)

Be warned: there are spoilers for the most recent episode below!

Tonight’s guests are Ashley Johnson and Travis Willingham!

Announcements: On Monday at 7 PM Pacific, there will be a special Doom: Eternal one-shot! VOD will be on YouTube on Wednesday. We’re one week away from the release of the new campaign book, Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount!

Episode 98: Dark Waters

Stats! 124 days passed between the Nein’s voyages at sea. It’s been 77 days since Fjord’s pact was broken. Fjord took 40% of the damage taken by the Nein and the crew (Yasha took second-most at 21%).

What’s it like RPing dream sequences with Matt? Ashley: “It gives me the fear.” They both agree it’s a panic feeling first, and then you get excited to see where he’ll go. Travis: “All cognizant thought goes out the window.” Ashley feels like she rushes it sometimes to avoid keeping the attention on her too long, and Travis dreads the open-ended questions: “What do you do?”

This is the first time Travis has had to wait a week to find out if his character will be revived. “Aside from analyzing the fight, it’s been okay, just because we’ve got two dope-ass clerics who feel pretty strongly about Fjord, so I hope we’re in a good place.” He’s mostly concerned about the intangibles and what they don’t know. He didn’t know the orb was still in him---he thought it was destroyed or reset when he threw away the sword. He’s worried that if they try “the normal cleric stuff”, it’s not going to work. He does almost prefer fights that are just dropped on them out of nowhere, because the anticipation is often the most stressful part.

Ashley’s still not sure if she has the feathers or not, since that was in a dream. “Building the character, I didn’t know that would be a possibility for that to change.” It’ll have to come out in the game. “Outside of that, I think-- obviously there’s a lot of healing with the group, but I think in terms of Yasha’s relationship with the Storm Lord, she’s still figuring that out. It’s very tough love, which she’s getting the tough love from the Storm Lord and the familial and kindness and love from the Mighty Nein. So that combo is going to be really good for her to turn things around. I don’t think she’s ever really had a feeling of worthiness outside of maybe being loved by Zuala. So I don’t know what that looks like for her yet, but we’ll see. I think she doesn’t fully know what her purpose is yet.”

Did Travis anticipate a confrontation with Uk’otoa back on the sea? “No, I’m a fucking moron. I didn’t think of that at all! I don’t have anything the ol’ snea snake wants anymore.” Brian: “Yes you do!” Travis: “I didn’t know that!” Dani: “The dark seed of power in you the Wildmother saw?” Travis: “I thought it was metaphorical! Well, now that you say it like that...” He wasn’t upset at all. “More than anything I was just trying to plan my branch narrative for what was going to happen next. More than anything, it became clear that they had just massive intent to come and kill me. I mean, Matt played it beautifully, so even in moments where I was disappointed in myself, like forgetting that enemy characters can hold their turns.”

Cosplay of the Week: a dramatic cape-flaring Fjord! (Ming.of.mings, photo by Rsellos, makeup by Omglobnunu, all on Instagram)

Travis: “The thing that hit me the most was when it came over and it grabs Fjord’s body and starts to walk him off the side of the ship, I was like, Mercer, what the fuck, man! I’m already dead! Give me a second!” He notes that they haven’t done a resurrection ritual yet in this campaign, only revivifies. Losing the two death saves when getting stabbed while unconscious was the moment when he realized how significant the intent was here. Everyone notes how clutch the Counterspell was.

On Jester and Beau showing concern for Yasha’s wellbeing: “I think for a lot of people, sometimes accepting compliments makes you uncomfortable. I’m one of those people. It’s a weird thing for Yasha to hear, because even in her tribe it’s not like that was a normal way of communicating with each other. Only compliments she would have gotten about how she looks or her character as a person were from Zuala. I think, especially with Jester, she’s such an open character that has so much love to give, just bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, just refreshing to be around, they’re all teaching Yasha very, very positive ways to feel and accept that.”

They talk about the way the improvisation can lead to poetic parallels like Yasha and Fjord falling/rising. Ashley: “I feel like so much of that is Matt, and he’s such a masterful storytelling.” Travis: “It’s such a gift, too. He’s giving you something new in the story that you created, and so you have instant ownership of this thing he made just for you.” Ashley: “You just hope you can meet him where he’s at.”

On Yasha’s harp: “Music is a very huge part of my life. I’m using the harp as, yes, for self-care for her, but also I think music can be a form of therapy. There was a moment where I was like, man, it would be so fun to multiclass as a bard, but then I remembered my wisdom is so low... it wouldn’t work. And I actually had talked to Matt about it. There’s more that I want to explore with that, and I don’t quite know what it is yet. I think where it sits right now, it’s a form of therapy for her. I’d been wanting to give her positive things to do to try to pull her out of this place that she’s in, and I think it’s really helpful.”

Seeing the sword again: “I think more than anything, it just unsettled Fjord. There was nothing about that that was easy to adapt to: seeing the sword, and then seeing multiples of the sword, just wondering who is this, what do they have, do they have abilities, what am I missing, how much do I not know about it?” He was initially worried that it was Avantika come back to life.

Fan Art of the Week: Caleb, Caduceus, and Fjord during the fight! (CreativeBleu on Twitter)

On Yasha having a lot of run-ins with creepy people: “I think a lot of that is because of the way I rolled the character, I rolled really low for Yasha’s stats, which is a bummer. She’s very susceptible because of that to being swayed, as we have noticed with Obann and things that have happened in her past. That’s maybe something that she puts out there, where people pick up on that. There’s obviously still and probably will always be a bit of darkness in her. I think people like Icky-thong and Lord Sharpe and people like that can pick up on it. I wanted to play a character like that anyway, I wanted to play somebody with a little darkness in there. I do think it is a source of frustration for her, and that’s where a lot of the guilt comes from.”

Has piecing together Caleb’s past changed Fjord’s opinion of him? “No, not at all. Maybe it’s just me, but seeing how much pain Caleb carries with himself from his past-- if he was flippant about it, that might give him pause, but he’s so fucking tortured about it. He can’t harbor any ill-will or confusion about where his heart lies. He’s full of regret, there’s a real person in there. I think also Fjord is like, I don’t want to be defined by my past, it really, really sucked. Every day since Fjord started with the M9 has been continually the best days of his life, and I think the same is probably true of Caleb. There’s no judgment because that doesn’t help anything. He just want to observe, absorb, acknowledge. You’re making positive changes, and that’s everything. That’s heroic, despite what you think is monstrous. That’s not who I see.” Brian talks about how life can end “when you choose to be defined by your worst moment”. Travis: “People that chain themselves to their past obviously haven’t moved beyond that past, and that process looks different for everyone.” But he believes you should get to define who you are after you’ve moved past that.

On the few new lighthearted moments with Yasha: “I think it’s the comfortability of the people around her. I think it’s just getting more comfortable with everybody, and also it’s just... I don’t know. If I think of something that I think would be funny, I’ll probably say it, but try to keep it in whatever Yasha’s sense of humor would be.” She notes some similarities to Grog. “She’s absolutely a teddy bear on the inside. She sees so much beauty in the world. I love playing those contradictions. She’s always had a sense of humor.”

How does Fjord define being a “good man” now as opposed to the start of the campaign? Initially, it was Vandren: “tough love, not overly emotional, not really available in that way, but conveyed a strong sense of leadership, knows what he wants, is focused, driven, stalwart, dependable, a lot of those bullshit male ideas. Some have value and some are just misplaced. If you try to live up to the idea of somebody else, you’re often going to find yourself going down a path that doesn’t look very familiar. Fuck it, I’m going to be me and see what that is. He’s got the agency. Maybe you just try and be you and hope that’s a good man.”