#also i recently got into lies of p

[folkloric-love]

"A handsome young man wearing white vestments gently takes the woman by the hand. His face is incomparably beautiful, his hair gleaming in the firelight like burnished gold. A holy symbol that depicts the sun hangs from the chain around his neck. He moves with the grace of a saint." Shout out to @luclovestruck yet again for another beautiful CoS commission! I love seeing all the wonderful designs fandom has come up with for one of my favorite characters, so here's another one for your consideration. Playing as Vasilka means that I get to dig into some wonderfully juicy themes concerning the relationship between father and daughter, creator and creation, the autonomy of the self, and filial piety. Of course, the character of Vasilka was obviously inspired by Frankenstein, but my love of fairy tales means that I'm leaning harder into the themes presented in Pinocchio, though I hold both novels very near and dear to my heart. I've joked at the table many times that the Abbot would be an avid collector of ball-jointed dolls, but despite her organic nature, Vasilka really is more of a "living doll" than a person, at least as of now. She does not speak unless directly addressed, emotes very little, and her movements are somewhat stiff and almost mechanical. She does not question the Abbot's commands and believes his wisdom is beyond reproach. In her mind, "God" and "Father" are synonymous concepts. She believes that the Abbot is guiding her down the proper path and that she was created to fulfill a special purpose -- a divine duty, as it were. Where does Vasilka figure into the Abbot's plans? For what purpose was she created? What exactly is this "divine duty" that is being alluded to? These are the sort of questions I hope to see answered as the narrative unfolds.

[just-a-girl-with-a-pistol]

Merry crisis

[nickfowlerrr]

patience

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. smuuuuuut (mainly m receiving).

words: 2k.

notes: i think i’ve used this gif before but i’m running out of gifs to use lol i’m gonna have to start making my own headers again soon. anyway, this is just a little smutty fic based off a small prompt list i saw recently. (222: “come here.”) i also wrote a very soft drabble based on the same dialogue that may or may not be posted here eventually. okay, anyway, enjoy! thank you in advance for reading and as always, feedback and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated! 🩵

“Come here.”

His words, though they sound like a soft command, are more of a gentle plea as he watches you from where he lies in bed.

A small smile forms on your lips as he speaks. You take a moment to finish rubbing in your moisturizer, your routine done for the night as your eyes move to meet his in the mirror.

You smile bigger and turn around to slowly make your way across the room to him. You can feel his anticipation to get his hands on you grow with your every step. You let your hips sway as you move closer, loving the way his eyes follow your body, his lids falling heavy as he pushes himself to sit up.

You’re wearing his favorite set, the lavender satin against your soft skin.. You were just begging to be touched. In fact, you’d been waiting for him in nothing more than this for hours. But he got home so late, covered in sweat and dirt all over his clothes, you sent him to the shower with just a chaste kiss as his face fell at your dismissal - his hands lingering on you as you slipped away from him to start taking your makeup off and get ready for bed.

He’s been watching you since he got out of the shower, climbing into bed in just his boxers as he waited for you as patiently as he could.

You want to see how much patience Bucky has left.

You watch his tongue dart out over his lip as his fingers twitch along his thighs, bringing your attention to his growing need.

Passing by the bedroom door, you stop to flick the lights out. All three switches. One by one, taking your time.

His impatient whine at your detour has you biting your lip to keep your smile at bay, though he can still spot that amused glint in your eyes, even through the darkened room.

“Sweetheart, please,” he groans, “I haven’t seen you all day, come here.” He coaxes you over, spreading his legs and reaching his arms out for you, a pout forming on his pretty lips.

He was still lit up by the bedside lights, the lights that were guiding you to him.

“Poor baby,” you coo in faux pity, finally standing before him. You let your hand drag up his thigh as you walk closer. You put one knee on the bed as you lean in to place a soft kiss on his pillowy lips.

Bucky tries to deepen it as his arms wrap around you and pull you closer.

You smile against his lips as you crawl fully onto the bed, straddling him as his hands smooth up and down your back now. He stares up at you as you part from him ever so slightly, his blue eyes shining. He looks at you like you’d hung the stars.

“I missed you,” he breaths.

“I can tell.”

You can’t help the smirk that effortlessly forms on your lips as you run your hands over his bare chest. You push your hips back and sit on his clothed erection. A hiss escaping him as he grips your soft waist, his eyes falling shut at the feeling of you on top of him.

“Missed me quite a bit, didn’t you,” your voice teasing.

“Yes,” he answers with a deep moan as you slowly roll your hips over his.

“And now I’m here,” you begin, leaning closer to brush your lips over his, “you’re quite happy, aren’t you.”

“Yes,” he moans again against your lips. They are so, so close to his, he can hardly think straight.

“And if I wasn’t here?” you question, pulling away from him as he chases your touch before you press on his chest, urging him down. Your strength is no match for Bucky’s. You both know he could easily have you on your back in a flash, but he falls to your touch, his pink lips part on an exhale as he watches you atop him, mesmerized.

A shudder runs through him as you let your hand run from his shoulder, down his chest, along his stomach until you get to the band of his underwear, snapping it lightly.

“What would you be doing if I wasn’t here?”

It wasn’t a real question, you both knew that. Bucky opens his mouth to try and formulate a sentence through his lust filled haze but you stop him.

“Don’t tell me. Show me,” you whisper, your dulcet voice laced with desire.

Bucky is stunned as you lift yourself off of him. He watches you settle on your knees beside him before you start pulling his underwear down for him.

“I know you want to,” you rasp, your heavy gaze never leaving his beautiful face as you free his straining cock and rid him of his boxers. You sit back up and kiss his stubbled cheek before whispering in his ear, “Come one, baby. Touch yourself for me.”

He lets out a soft groan as you guide his hand to his cock, wrapping it around himself before you guide it up and down his shaft. You watch his face as his eyes flutter shut at the motion.

You take your hand off of him and he looks at you as you nod, urging him on.

You watch intently as Bucky moves his hand along himself, pumping his shaft slowly but firmly.

You crawl across the bed to your nightstand and grab the nearly empty bottle of lube from your drawer before returning to his side.

You shake the bottle and squeeze the contents into your hand, only a pathetic spurt being released. You tsk before tossing the bottle to the wayside.

“Aaaah,” Bucky breathes as you rub the lube on your palm over his tip while he continues pumping his dick in his hand. You lean over and lift your eyes to meet his as you hollow your cheeks to collect your saliva in your mouth before you spit down on his cock. His thighs tense as your spit eases his strokes. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans as he works himself over a little faster.

You're tempted to stop him now and just wrap your mouth around his cock, but you won’t. You enjoy this too much, his cheeks growing pink and his puffy breaths as he jerks himself off. It’s a sight to behold, truly.

Instead you lay your head in his lap, let your hand rest on his lower abs, enjoying the way he tenses every now and again. Your fingers idly play along his happy trail before tracing the vein that leads to his cock, stopping as you near the base of him as to not interfere with his touching.

Your name can be heard falling from his lips in whimpered pleads before they’re overpowered by his deep groans and growls.

Bucky’s idle hand crawls along your chest and you let him grope your breasts as you watch him still. Your nipples are hard beneath the satin material of your bra and you revel in the feeling of Bucky’s hand on you. You slip your hand under yourself and unclasp the bra, pulling the garment off for him as he moans and runs his thumb over your nipple, earning a moan from you in turn before you decide to grab his hand and sit up. You turn your head and as you see the beads of precum leaking from his tip, you can’t help but lean down and lick them off as Bucky keens.

You move up his body and meet his lips, kissing him hotly. You bring your hand up to his face, caressing his stubbled cheek before working your fingers into his mouth. He obliges you, humming around your digits.You pull them from him before you settle back down into your spot, head on his lap as you lay perpendicular to his body. A breath leaves you as you relax into the mattress, content to watch Bucky get himself off while your hand slips into your panties, your fingers still wet with his spit playing in your own slick before you slide them inside you with a small moan. Your eyes are glued to Bucky as you watch his fist tighten around his dick - his eyes on you as you play with yourself. You can tell he’s close as his neck strains and he bears his teeth. You move further into his lap and stop your play, instead focusing completely on Bucky. Your face in his crotch, you let your tongue slide out and along his balls, a heavy groan falling past his lips as you lick him, his hand moving faster over his cock. You gently suck one into your mouth, letting your tongue massage him before you suck it off and let it go with a gentle pop, taking the other past your swollen lips and paying him the same attention. Bucky’s broken moans and whimpers fall freely from his lips, curses and your name intermingled as he begins to fully lose himself to the pleasure.

You watch as his tongue pokes out past his lips as he tries to hold himself back, a strangled noise leaving his throat as his body tenses. He’s kneading the tip of his cock as you play with his balls.

“Fuck - yes, baby, yes,” he calls out to you, voice tight, “fuck, please, sweetheart,” he begs.

You feel a sense of pride rush over you as you realize he’s asking for your permission. You sit up and get on your knees between his legs as he pants, his groans and growls growing louder the closer he gets.

“Where do you wanna come, baby?” you purr.

“Oh fuck,” he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before he returns his tortured gaze to you. “Oh god,” he moans headily, “fuck, baby, let me come inside you,” he mewls, “please.”

You bite your lip and waste no time in slipping off your panties before you straddle him. You feel his cock pressed against your wet pussy as you grip his length, his hands now grabbing your hips as you line him up to your slick entrance. You slide down on him and moan in sync with Bucky as he fills you perfectly, the way he always does. The stretch of him inside you is intoxicating. You aren’t surprised when you immediately feel his dick throbbing along your walls, his come filling you up as you watch in awe - his beautiful face twisting in his pleasure.

His hands are still gripping your hips as he thrusts up into you, riding out his orgasm before he loosens his hold on your hips and relaxes under you, panting before he starts to catch his breath.

You lean down and press your lips to his, kissing him lovingly as he smiles into it, wrapping his arms around you before flipping you onto your back easily as he hovers above you.

“You did so good, baby,” you praise him as you take his face in your hands, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs.

“Yeah?” he smiles coyly, melting into your soft touch.

“Mhm,” you hum, a contented sigh escaping you as you settle yourself further into the mattress, your hands dropping to the blanket beneath you, getting ready to sit up so you can pull it over your bodies.

Bucky’s deep laugh catches you off guard as you look up into his eyes, still swimming in lust as he licks his lips. He grabs your wrists in his hands and pulls them above your head as he drops his head to your neck, kissing your sweet spot as he nestles himself better between your thighs as you gasp lightly, a small moan tumbling past your lips at his attention.

“What?” he mumbles against your throat before picking his head up, “you think you can just lay down and go to sleep now?”

Bucky lets go of your wrists as he drags his palms over your breasts, squeezing you before he moves down your soft torso, his kisses ceaseless against your skin as you arch into his touch. “I’ve missed you all day, sweetheart. I’m gonna be makin’ up for it all night,” he assures you with his charming, toothy grin as you titter under him with a soft smile of your own. You dutifully spread your legs wider for him, ready and wanting for whatever he has in store.

[loveyourownsmiilee]

Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.14

I’m gonna start off by saying I really enjoyed tonight’s episode even though we didn’t get much Buddie scenes together. We have been so well fed this half of the season so I knew it was coming soon. However, I really do think we got a wonderful Eddie centric episode that is possible to set up his next character arc. And most of that arc, in my opinion, will be coming to terms with who he is as a person and figuring out who he wants as a romantic partner. I think he’s afraid to let himself think of that partner because of the deep rooted fear he has of being left alone. I got to say, there’s a lot more gifs than actual analysis this time around but they’re all important to the meta. So I hope you all enjoy 💜

Meddling Tia Pepa

I was really looking forward to Tia Pepa’s return but because my foolish, naive heart thought she knew about the Buddie of it all. Boy was I wrong because she was back with one goal in mind and that was to set up Eddie on a blind date. She literally called him over under the false pretenses of needing his help, thus blindsiding him with a girl she wanted to set him up with. I will say, I have missed the Diaz family and it was nice to see her back.

The moment Eddie turns around and sees the girl, Vanessa, he immediately freaks out. That entire scene at Tia Pepa’s house was very queercoded and I’ll get into my reasoning as to why.

E: What did you do Tia?

P: What has to be done.

E: You tricked me…into a blind date?

He is actively freaking out the moment he sees her and you can tell by the way he scratches his head. He turns around and wants do make a run for it. When he questions Pepa, his eyes are wide and he is in complete disbelief because he didn’t think she would do something like this. What man would act like this upon walking in and seeing a beautiful girl who is someone they could very well date? Oh yes a queer one.

Pepa isn’t having any of Eddie’s questioning and counter questions him into confessing what else he has planned for the day, only to prove her point.

P: What were you doing right before I called?

E: I was… at home. Christopher spent the night at a friends house. I-I didn’t have time to figure my day out. It’s Saturday!

The way he immediately avoids any and all eye contact, and looks to the side indicates he is trying to come up with some explanation that is very clearly a lie. He hesitates, and has to gather his thoughts to come up with a plausible answer, and that is what gives it away that he’s lying. Pepa also catches on to the fact that he lied to her. Now we can all speculate all we want but something tells me he wasn’t just at home doing nothing. We know, especially in recent episodes, that any time he’s not with his son, he is often found hanging out with Buck. So I found it really weird how he had to actually lie to his aunt about his whereabouts.

P: Aye Edmundo, it breaks my heart to see you alone. It’s been too long. You need to do something or you’re gonna be alone forever.

E: Tia, I can’t marry someone just cause you say so.

Literally who the hell is talking about marriage here?!? It’s so interesting to see the way Eddie’s mind works when it comes to relationships and dating. This almost confirms that he’s never really dated anyone just to date them. You can kind of infer from this moment that he probably had to marry Shannon because of outside forces and they didn’t really get to date. And he was most likely with Ana because he believed, once again due to outside forces *Bobby*, that he needed to marry the perfect woman on paper. Because she would’ve been a wonderful mother to Christopher and his son loved her. It seems as though Eddie has not dated somebody who he himself wanted to date. And he sure as hell didn’t date anyone without the impression of it becoming a legitimately serious thing. So I think this opens the door for him to really question what dating means to him and who he wants to choose as the person he does date. It also indicates that he is looking to marry someone eventually. And some thing about this scene just made me think that he has possibly considered getting married again and possibly even gone as far as to say he might know who he wants to marry, but doesn’t think it’s an actuality. These are just some thoughts I had after watching this whole scene with his Tia. There’s definitely something under the surface for sure, and I think this episode is slowly hinting at it.

The 118 Have Opinions About Eddie’s Blind Date

I love when we get to see the firefam discussing literally anything about their personal lives. It really just drives home the idea that they’re an actual family and that they all found each other and built this family together.

C: So how'd you leave it?

E: We were gonna text each other to meet up.

B: I mean you could always conveniently forget to text her.

C: He's not gonna ghost her Buck.

E: Yeah, she already texted me.

I really love how last episode we got to see Eddie acting jealous over Buck mentioning all the women he has slept with. I have mentioned it many times on my blog how Eddie is very overtly obvious when he is jealous. Buck, on the other hand, is subtle with his jealousy. This entire time they're talking about Vanessa, the only thing he contributes is suggesting Eddie ghosts her. I mean is that how a best friend would act if they were genuinely supportive of their best friend dating again? Even the way he sits down and looks all petty at Eddie indicates pure jealousy over this topic of conversation.

E: Now I gotta figure out how to let her down easy.

B: Ooh, you're not good at that.

E: No, I'm not.

One thing I love about this specific moment is that even in the episodes where we do not get a lot of Buddie moments, they will throw in something that makes us remember just how close these two are with each other. This was a direct callback to Eddie breaking up with Ana by telling her to just go home. There is no way Eddie didn't end up confiding in Buck, his literal go to confidant, about that whole mess. So Buck mentioning that little fact just drives home the fact that these two are very close and tell each other almost everything. Which then begs the question, why isn't Eddie just discussing this with only Buck. Makes one question the real reasoning behind the fact that we never see them talking about their possible romantic partners unless it is to get advice when it is falling apart.

(Gifs by @matan4il)

E: Well she seems nice. She already picked the place.

B: Ah.

E: I just hate being forced to a date. Feels like I have to perform.

Once again, the fact that the frame focuses on Buck, with his arms crossed, closed off and keeping him safe and away from being hurt in this instance, to simply nodding his head in a very jealous way is definitely something. He is the only one who seems to be that interested in Eddie's plans with Vanessa and it goes to show once more that he is not really being as supportive as he could be. These men both do this all the time when there is another woman involved. He is definitely not happy about Eddie going on this date and I don't blame him considering he was dressing up nicely just one episode ago to go out with Eddie.

I also really love Buck's reaction when Eddie says that he feels like he has to perform. He is confused but he smirks because he can't believe Eddie just said something like that in front of everyone. He basically laid all his cards out in front of him. What he said, about having to perform is also very queercoded, because it indicates him having to put on a facade to be able to date a woman, when he doesn't really want to. Almost as if he really isn't all that straight and knows he has to force himself to be in the right mindset to make everyone else around him happy. Buck seems to be questioning what Eddie could possibly mean and you see that with the downturn of his lips here.

Then Hen, or as Chimney so lovingly says, Tia number 3, comes in and questions Eddie. The camera also panned to her when Eddie said the bit about having to perform and I find it interesting that her reaction was very "I know what you are."

H: Or maybe you're anxious about said performance.

E: Anxious? Who's anxious?

H: It's ok to feel nervous. Vanessa's probably at work right now, panicking too.

E: I do not panic.

No, no, of course you don't Edmundo. You also totally didn't end up in the hospital because of a panic attack at the idea of being married to a woman. He is so silly and I really want to bring back mirroring because he is mirroring Buck here. We all know Buck always talks with his mouth full and I don't believe we have seen Eddie talking with his mouth full before. Either way, when you hang out with someone too much, you start adapting all their habits and mannerisms, the good, the bad and the ugly. Here he has definitely adapted Buck's bad habit of speaking with his mouth full and it really makes me giggle because it's such a small thing but it shows how similar these two have become.

This entire scene also was very Eddie being somewhat repressed and in denial about it. Him telling Hen he does not panic, when we all know he had panicked with Ana is definitely important and I believe it's going to play a key factor in his upcoming character arc.

The Fake Date

Ok I got to say how it was such a deliberate choice in having this date come after the poker game from last week because the differences are insane to me. Not only did Eddie channel Buck from the poker game with his outfit, but he didn't put the same level of effort in this date with Vanessa as he did when he went out with Buck. He's just wearing a simple suit and he doesn't really seem to be into the date from the beginning. Whereas last week, we had him in that plaid blue suit, with the turtleneck and his fancy gold watch. He also could not stop looking at Buck, whereas he barely even looked at Vanessa in the beginning of their date.

Not only that, but he literally was there to let her down easy, which he started to explain when he said, "Full disclosure," but was cut off before we can find out the reason why.

Some key takeaways from this date that really convinced me that it was not special and nothing important for the future were the following:

— He was being friendly with her, as he is with every other female friend we have seen him interacting with.

— He was understanding when she explained to him about her ex-fiance and how she is definitely not ready for anything serious

— His little "I do" moment was very much like that moment in 4.05 when he told Buck, "I know you did." The same softness sure, but this lacked the fondness and love his eyes hold anytime he's talking to Buck.

— He took out his phone to take notes. Literally what successful date includes note taking?

— He didn't seem mesmerized by her at all. He didn't have that twinkle in his eyes when looking at her. She was fun and sassy and he smiled at her, but it was nothing that would rival his special Buck smile.

— When she leaves, the biggest thing is that he does not turn his head to look after her. If he had truly been interested (or straight) he would have watched her walk away. BUT he did not. Instead, he kind of smiled and shook his head in disbelief that she bested him before he could. He also let out a breath of relief, because the man really did not want to be on that date. He didn't seem upset or heartbroken in any way. The only look I can describe this as would be possible bafflement at how his night went down considering he came in with one thing on his mind and that was taken from him when she ended it on her own.

Eddie's Date Review? No Sorry Performance Review

I found it hilarious how Eddie was really thinking about how Vanessa pulled a fast one on him.

E: Sorry uh, it's a lot to process.

BN: Didn't expect the brush off huh?

I don't know why but this moment reminds me so much fo the moment between Buck and Eddie in 5.02 in the bunk area when they're discussing Ana. The way Eddie avoids looking at Buck and tells him "Just feels like a lot man."

E: Not gonna lie, it's probably the worst one yet.

BN: Wait, you didn't even want this date.

E: Yeah so it shouldn't be bothering me right?

Well the reason this is bothering Eddie very much is because he is the guy who likes to have his control. The things that he cannot control are the things that end up bothering him the most. So here he isn't really thinking of a missed opportunity. No he is thinking about how he had a plan to go in there and tell Vanessa that she is a nice girl but he was not ready for a date. He probably had something else he wanted to say but that opportunity was taken from him when she didn't let him finish what he had to say. So of course this is on his mind and of course it will be bothering him for a while. Because Eddie Diaz likes his tight grasp on things he can control and when that's taken from him, he starts to spiral.

E: Maybe Hen's right. Maybe, maybe I'm anxious about not performing.

Again, this man is thinking about the fact that he has to perform. He cannot date a woman and be himself because he does not want to date women. This reminds me of that moment between Buck and him in 5.11, where Buck tells him, "You don't have to pretend with me." That's is isn't it? When Eddie is with Buck, there is no need to put on an act or have anxiety over it. He simply exists and is who he always has been. There is no need for a performance or to pretend to be someone he is not because Buck knows him and he accepts and loves him for who Eddie is entirely. And that is what they are showcasing here. How Eddie may need to perform with women, but when he is with his right partner, he can be who he is and know that he will love him anyway.

I love how Bobby gives Eddie the kiss of death AGAIN. Any time this man gives anyone relationship advice, they are immediately doomed. We saw it with Eddie and Ana in s4. So this only sets the curse for whatever other dates Eddie may eventually go on and that makes me laugh.

BN: Maybe it's time to find the right work/life balance.

E: Feel like I have that. Me, Christopher, we're a good team.

BN: You're a great father. But there's more to life that I think even Christopher would agree. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you get back out there.

This is the second time they allude to the fact that Eddie is alone in raising Christopher. First Pepa said it in the beginning of the episode. Now Eddie mentions how it is just him and Chris. The weird thing with this is that we had 3 episodes before this that showed how intertwined the Diaz boys are with Buck. They showed what a family unit they three are and how Buck can be viewed as a wonderful partner and coparent to Eddie. Christopher begging Buck to come back home when he was in a coma was like any child begging their parent to come back to them. Eddie crying like the grieving widow he was did not indicate him being alone in this world. Not only that but just the episode before this they gave us heavy family feels with Buck and Eddie helping Chris with his homework and then Buck baking cookies for Christopher's class. So this begs the question, why the incessant need to mention that Eddie is alone when we all can see that he is not.

A part of me believes that maybe it's possible that outside to the Buckley Diaz trio, not a lot of people are aware of how close they are to each other. I made a post about how it's very possible people do not even know about Eddie's will because of what it can very well symbolize. Maybe Eddie does not want people to know how important Buck is to him because then he has to answer questions about that. Questions that he may not be fully prepared to respond to. Maybe this is his way of keeping his heart safe by not acknowledging the importance of Buck in his life just yet.

E: I feel like I haven't had a chance to really uh, collect my thoughts. So let me go out there and do some collections.

It's funny how he mentions this to Bobby before he heads out because from every thing we have seen up to this point, it is Eddie not really thinking about certain things in his life. He has not really collected his thoughts and come to the conclusion as to why he is so content with how his life currently is and why he does not need to date anyone. I think this foreshadows Eddie really taking some time throughout the next few episodes to reflect on his current life and think about things and choices he's made. I hope we get to see some of those thoughts and the conclusions they bring forth.

Buck, The Nepo Prince of The 118

I love love loved the cute little father/son performance review moment we got. I got to say, it definitely felt weird to see Buck have such little lines but I was also glad for it considering so many of the recent episodes were all Buck centric.

B: My PT scores are not right there. They're low and you marked me outstanding.

BN: Yes, considering...

B: Considering what, that I uh had an accident on the job, but I recovered.

BN: Buck, you died.

B: Yeah, so what, you're just gonna take it easy on me forever?

BN: Buck, I don't think that's entirely inappropriate.

The fact that we have had someone tell Buck he has died every single episode since he work up is very interesting and a little morbid. It is clear as day that man has not fully recovered or made his peace with the fact that he died. He keeps making light of it and avoiding talking about his feelings about it. The only time we saw him be somewhat truthful was with Eddie in his kitchen in 6.12. And given what we know about the next episode and him being intrigued by a death doula, I can see why they keep mentioning it to him. They are setting up the storyline to turn into him getting some actual help about his death and eventually making his peace with it.

Tia Pepa Comes Clean

I love how Eddie could not even fully remember the lie they came up with about the fake date. He immediately slips up and Tia Pepa catches onto his lie before he even has a chance to go any further. He told her that the date went "great" and that they decided to stay friends.

E: She was...very nice.

P: You're never gonna see her again.

E: I'm sorry Tia. I'm not ready.

Once again this goes to prove that any time Eddie has dated someone, it has been at the persistence of someone else. He only went along with it to appease his aunt and even then, he did it knowing his heart was not in it. He needs to learn to make these choices for himself and only himself. If something is not broke, there is no need to fix it. If Eddie is not ready to date and he is completely content with how he is living his life, it is not up to his Tia or anyone else to meddle into it and tell him how he should be living it. This scene once more further shows how queercoded Eddie is because there is something he is just, unable to say out loud to her in this moment.

When Pepa comes clean about her first marriage and how it took her 6 years to get over it, Eddie is visibly upset and can't believe this was kept from him. Now, why would he be upset at some family secret that’s been kept from him? Well given his reaction, I’d say it was important to his own history, which is why he was taken aback by the news. Eddie was also married and he seems to come from a very clean cut traditional family where divorce is not an option. So considering Shannon not only left him, but came back only to ask him for a divorce, really affected him for a long time. He felt like a failure and was mad at a dead person for a while there. Now, finding out that Pepa was also divorced and then found the love of her life, it connects him to her even more. There’s another Diaz who had a failed marriage but was still able to move on and find their right partner in the end. It almost gives Eddie hope and you can see that with the final moment he shares with his Tia.

P: I was getting set in my ways, and the longer you are alone, the easier it is. I don’t want that for you.

E: Me either.

Eddie has tears in his eyes and he really understands where his Tia is coming from. He knows she means well and he resonates with her. But this also leaves the door open as to yes, maybe he is open to finding the right partner, but how he plans on achieving that is where things get tricky. I really do feel like it’s possible that they are going to further develop. His character arc into him dating some people, and realizing why things are not working out with each person. Because deep inside, he has to know that he has already found that person. I just feel like he is very afraid to allow himself to feel the things that he does, and to want the person he does. But I think this episode really opens the door for him realizing he’s ready and he needs to go on this journey to find his perfect partner (we all know he’s found him. Now only he needs to figure it out himself.)

Ravi Comes Home

The reason I want to mention Ravi is because he said something that really made me think of Buck and Eddie. When he was telling Chimney about what happened with the accident, he says something about how, “But what haunts me isn’t the one that I lost. It’s the one I saved.”

Now why the hell would this remind me of Buddie? Well let’s take a look at Eddie and his partners shall we. When Shannon, his wife and mother of his child was in an accident, he could not save her. He had to sit there and watch her die. And that did affect him for a long time, and he was traumatized by it.

But then his work partner and other coparent was struck by lightning and literally died for 3 minutes and 17 seconds. Now who was the one that got his heart beating again?? Eddie. Eddie was able to save Buck. But he stood there for days and mourned because he didn’t want to live a life without Buck. He couldn’t look at him, he was crying and dressed like an actual widow. Not just that, he clearly has unresolved feelings about that whole thing because we saw him mention it to Buck in 6.12 about how he died and he’s allowed to have feelings about that. And he was quick to correct Chief Williams when she mistakenly mentioned how Buck was dead for 3 minutes. Eddie knows how long, down to the second he was dead for because in those 3 minutes and 17 seconds, he had to live his worst fear. And I feel like the fact that he did end up saving Buck haunts him every day.

It was so nice to see Ravi back with the team. Eddie and Buck hugging him like he’s their little brother was so wholesome. Buck lifting Ravi up while Eddie looked on with a big smile on his face was what we all needed. The final glimpse of Buck and Eddie in the background all blurry was wonderful. They’re clearly close as ever, considering they once again, do not know what personal space is. I also love the fact that you can see Buck in his blurry form, leaning his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

(Gif by @whosoldherout)

I personally can’t wait to see where their storylines go from here. I’m being optimistic and still think it’s really inevitable that they don’t get together romantically. I’m excited for this ride and can’t wait to see what the read is the season brings us.

Once again, thank you to @aa-lionheart for all the lovely gifs. I adore you tremendously. And thank you to each and every one of you who reads this through. I appreciate you all more than you’ll ever know 💜

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Soo this is coming from a headcanon series in development. I got carried away lol. Also, this is taken from my Patreon, so if you want go check it out 🩵 As always, your feedback is appreciated 🩵

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Gojo x Reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P l o t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ He lies in bed and thinks about his latest exorcism. Suddenly, an intense feeling of loneliness struck him, and he decided to call you.

The lamp on the nightstand flickered weakly, casting away the darkness with difficulty. In this dim light, Gojo was staying in his bed, with his legs crossed, one hand under his head and the other resting on his chest, thinking about his recent exorcise. A grade 1 curse spirit was terrorizing the village of Ine, located on the coast in far north Kyoto Prefecture, disturbing not only the marine life but also the people. Its activity became noticed by the Jujutsu Society, and based on people’s descriptions, they sent Gojo to take care of it.

In his opinion, other sorcerers could’ve killed this one easily. He suspects that the higher-ups wanted to get rid of him for a while, as they probably had enough of him, or maybe they plan to do something devious to Yuji again.

As gratitude for getting rid of the village curse, one of the families let him stay overnight in their home. The bed was soft, the food was amazing, and he even got to show off in a fishing competition. The day went smoothly, and he can’t wait to return to Tokyo, to his students, to you…

A soft smile appeared on his face. Even if he was gone for a few days, he already missed you deeply. He doesn’t show his affection very often because your relationship already goes against every principle he has about the life of a jujutsu sorcerer. Yet he can’t help but wonder…what if…

Nah, he is just tired, and even more so that he is beginning to imagine impossible scenarios.

To ease the feeling of loneliness, he picks up the phone and calls you on video. It rings a few times before you finally pick it up. Around you, it’s pitch black, and your phone’s light is illuminating your sleepy, half-lidded eyes.

Stupid. He didn’t realise how late it was.

“Hello…” You didn’t manage to see the caller’s ID, you just answered on instinct. You thought it was something serious if they called so late in the night.

“Hi…did I wake you up.”

The voice was familiar, and you scoffed.

“No, I was in the middle of poker with your students.”

“Really? Please tell me they didn’t lose all their money.”

“Not yet, I had a full house when you called me. Wasted opportunity.”

Gojo chuckled softly.

Before he left, he asked you to take care of his students for him. You were one of the few he trusted, not only because he was in a relationship with you but also because you were strong.

“What’s up? Are you alright?”

You sounded a little concerned. He looked like he needed some sleep. He was pale, had dark circles under his eyes, and he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Yeah, I wanted to check on you, but I didn’t realise how late it is.”

“I see…” you yawned. “Well, we’re ok. We trained today a bit, then we went to eat something. After that, Yuji wanted to see a movie, and we all went with him. It was something  with...worms... guy turned into a worm…”

“Human Earthworm 4?”

You snapped your fingers.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. I didn’t understand his hype about it, but maybe I’m getting old. Anyway, they are making progress. Yuji is very happy when we learn about techniques and curse energy, Nobara catches on quickly, and Megumi is edgy as usual.”

“I don’t know where he got that.” Gojo chuckled again.

You could see him relax as he heard about his students, so you kept on talking. His face would become brighter, and his eyes would shine with joy and pride.

“Yuji is safe, don’t worry.” You said, knowing well, that was one of the reasons he called. You were also aware of the vicious intentions that the higher-ups held.

“Everyone is safe. But you didn’t tell me about you. How was the exorcism? And where are you, by the way?”

“Some people invited me to stay overnight as a sign of gratitude for getting rid of the curse. And the job went smoothly. I mean, they sent me, what did you expect?"

You scoffed at how arrogant he was, but at least he was in a better mood.

“Ey Gojo, stop being so arrogant, would you? One of these days, your presence alone won’t be enough. You need to be more humble.”

“That day is very far.” He chuckled. “But I can’t say I enjoy the loneliness, though.”

“I know… it will work out eventually.”

A short pause followed, in which he moved his gaze away from the camera to the room he was in. It was quiet; the lamp stopped flickering, casting shadows on the wall. Through the open balcony, there was a breeze that kept shifting the curtains left and right, creating a tranquil atmosphere that he wished could be shared.

“Wish you were here with me, tho. The moon is nice.” He said it without realizing it as he watched the full moon through the open balcony. Then he took a pause.

He already feels guilty for letting you watch the students, and he also feels guilty for pulling you into his chaotic life. But again, there are few people he can trust, so he doesn’t have much choice, right?

This thinking process was done in total silence, as you didn’t say a word. But you couldn’t help smiling, as it was another confirmation for you. Gojo cared about you, but he was afraid of showing it. Who can blame him?

“I figured..." another pause. “The feeling is mutual.”

Gojo shifted in bed, trying to figure out what to say next.

“Maybe we can come back to the village one day and show me the surroundings since you seem to get along with the locals. Exorcise a curse or two on the way.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled as he stared at the camera in his new position.

“Listen, it’s getting late."

“I know, I’ll let you sleep. Talk tomorrow. Text me when you wake up.”

“Sure…Good night, Gojo.”

“‘Night, Y/N.”

He tossed the phone on the bed and rubbed his face as he groaned.

He doesn’t show it, but he is scared about his feelings for you as they grow stronger each day. You manage to ease his loneliness, something that only one person was able to do before you, and it didn’t end well. What will happen if he starts to love you...? Can it be different? Can he get rid of this curse? Even if he is the strongest, he feels so powerless in front of...

“Damn it… it’s late; I should sleep too.”

He closed his eyes and quickly drifted into the land of dreams and endless possibilities, as the room wasn’t that dark anymore and the air also became warmer.

[elvisslut]

Tearing me down..

||tw- Suicidal thoughts, attempt at suicide, smut, cheating, depression, in depth details of feelings,hospital,in detail hospital visit||

You knew Elvis was cheating but hearing him and seeing him with someone else was a different kind of pain though. You loved him too much to leave after that so the cheating became more frequent each time you let it slide. Well..you still thought about it but you let it slide pass elvis.

Loving him became a sickness and it was dragging you to your grave. A grave you didn't want people to find out about. Him cheating on you is not only demeaning but it's embarrassing. It hurts to love him an not receive the same love back. He hurts, Elvis Presley for you.. Is the definition of hurt and Belittlment.

But he is also the love of your life. A man you can't live without. "Y/n? You okay? You look really sick" Joe says as he walks in the kitchen, you pouring you probably 7th cup of coffee. Since you caught Elvis and continued to catch Elvis you really couldn't sleep, you had constant fights with him, he hardly kisses you anymore let alone makes love to you.

You used to have such a good relationship, now it's just lies and cries. "Yeah.. Just tired" you give Joe a light smile and walk out the kitchen to the dining room table talking aseatamd watching out the window at the fans aching for Elvis. Elvis isn't even your husband.. You're not obligated to stay. But love works in ways no one will ever understand.

Joe was worried, beyond worried. He loved you like a sister and hated seeing you the state you're in. Elvis got more sleep then you and that in itself is a big thing that's strongly noticeable. Elvis averaged three hours you were lucky if you got a hour.

"Hey doll.. Ya okay?" Elvis said looking over at you with a grown after having come down stairs. "Yeah.. I'm okay" you say getting up and downing the rest of thehot coffee in your cup, going over and pressing a kiss to his cheek, handing him the cup since he was going to the kitchen then Going to the living room.

"E. P. Hey.. Come here" Joe says waving Elvis over to him. "Y/n looks real sick.. Maybe you should take her to the doctor.. " Joe suggests. Elvis chuckles and shakes his head." naw naw she's just tired.. I don' got the time to take 'er and I've got a few girls coming over today.. So I can't be gone" that's it. Joe figured it out. Elvis knew you'd stop caring so much for the girls.

He knew and he was waiting for it. He loved you but the thought of fooling around with you wasn’t much of a turn on for him. You loved elvis so much that no buts ifs ands or wills will ever stop you from loving him with your entirety.

“E..you’re hurting her with all the girls.” Joe says bluntly. “She doesn’ mind. She would have left me after i got caught with Olivia” he smiles at joe earning a frown. “You screwed Olivia? Is that why they ain’t friends no more?” Joe asks, Olivia was your best friend. For years. Then you found her under Elvis and thats when your world started to shatter.

“Im going for a drive ill see you boys later” you say stepping in the kitchen oblivious to the previous conversation. “ill come with” Elvis says looking back at you planing to talk to you about what joe said.

“I um..i don’t think thats a good idea..you just..you stay here” you say giving him a smile and turning around going outside. Joe had a horrible feeling in his gut. He didn’t like that you were going alone but he understood that you probably needed a break from Elvis.

Killing yourself was frowned apon.. But you'd be dead. Why was it so frowned on. It's such a easy escape.. From everything. It's such a easy way yo get away from Elvis.. From the love you have for . You parked the car at the end of the Memphis Bridge and walked the sidewalk amongst others, stopping in the middle and looking down at the water tears in your eyes. It was your last straw a while ago, but it all became too much.. Too overwhelming recently. You weren't going to jump..heights sacred you but you snagged up some pills from Elvis and took them.

"E, y/n's been gone a awful long time" Joe says that's same feeling in his gut getting worse. Elvis sighed and looked at the girls in front of him putting his guitar down. "Wait here girls I gotta go find someone" he says as if it were a harsh task.

They drove around for a while spotting your car then multiple police cars and several people not spotting you. Elvis and joe rushed out of the car, pushing through all the people as time seemed to slow for Elvis. The moment they seen you on the concrete with a officer giving you chest compressions Elvis broke down. Immediately going to his knees besides you.

The officer does a few more compressions and slowly you come back to see Elvis Joe and many others towering over you. Elvis puts his arms around you and squeezes for dear life. He almost lost you. Legitimately lost you. If a officer wasn't here he'd be burying you by next week.

"Oh god, oh god.." he sways with you back and forth sobbing holding you as close as humanely possible. "My baby.. My satnin, 'm so sorry please please don' leave me here. Please mama." his cries seemed to fade out. "Its okay my precious boy.." you say quitly as your conciseness slips from your fingers.

Everything for Elvis was dark once you fell unconscious in his arms that day. You'd been in a coma for a week. Elvis has not once left your side. He felt guilty and hurt that you'd do that but he mostly just felt a feel that had no word. Maybe sad love? Longing? There's no telling.

He knew his was at fault, he knew it too well. He felt regret for every girl he's been with that wasn't you. He couldn't get out of that room but he couldnt look at you. You had so many wires and tubes hooked up to you just to keep you alive.

He bit down on his lip as the last person visiting you left, he cried silently in the chair sat by your bed and the window. He scooted the chair to your side and grabbed your hand feeling the warmth of your skin. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed softly against your knuckles then laying your hand against his cheek, crying harder as he did.

Not knowing if this was the end of you or not. "Pull through this for me baby..ya gotta come back to your precious boy..please come back to me mama" he chokes on a sob and lays his head against your belly.

All the veins in his body pulsed for you. He didn’t realize it till the this week. You may have not noticed but he couldn’t keep his eyes off you whenever you were around him. He didn’t want to touch you in a sexual way not because you didn’t turn him on but because he thought you were too good too important to be touched like that by him.

“You’re my girl..you’re my girl, my girls gotta come back” he cried hearing tge door open to show a nurse the most dreadful part coming in a matter of seconds.

They were able to see if you could make it in your own without the life support. One by one the tubes and wires came off. Coming down to the last one that was helping you breathe. Once it was pulled out his heart stopped. A few seconds and you breathe in heavily for air, the nurses spoke to elvis for a second then left leaving him alone with you again.

Elvis let out a breath of air and rushed to your side again pressing his lips against your forehead. "That my good girl..thank ya.." he said softly tears streaming down his cheeks.

A few days went by and Elvis continued to watch you like a hawk. "Elvis?" you grumble with a cough your throat tremendously dry. Elvis bolt's to his feet and goes to you seeing if you were really awake tears flooding his eyes. You cough again snapping him from his state and rushing to get you water.

"Here baby drink.." he says lifting the cup to your lips and tilting it letting you drink the water slowly. You looked up at his eyes, his pretty gorgeous blue eyes and fell in love all over again.

"'M gonna go get someone.." he says rushing off.

The next few days went by fast Elvis did nothing but kiss you and apologize and pamper you. Then you went home. Definitely a place you wanted to go but.. It hurt to be back though. All the extra pain and hurt. But Elvis was back to being in love with you and it all washed that away.

He smiled at you as you got his help laying in the bed. Your bed.. Your shared bed. It felt so good.. So good to be back in this bed. Your boyfriend laying down right along side you.

He searched your eyes and slowly moved forward pressing his lips to yours and moving his hands up your shirt.

His fingers felt each inch of your skin as he pulled your shirt up and off of you, then working down at your pants tugging them off. "I missed this side of you precious boy.." you say softly reaching up and undoing his shirt, looking back into them pretty blues..

"I missed this side'a me too mama" he softly says leaning down getting another kiss from your lips. He pushes his pants down just enough to pull himself out and gets on top of you lining himself up and pushing in.

Your eyes flutter shut and your lips part as you let out a pretty moan just for him. Just for your precious boy to hear. He moves his hips at a steady pace wrapping his arm around your back and holding you close.

Tears started to fall down his cheeks, you lean up and kiss them away then wrap your arms around his shoulders. “I love ya..fuck mama..fuck i love ya” he grunts, the noises like music to your ears.

“I-..love you too baby boy” you moan out softly, elvis slows down and gives a few harsh thrusts before you’re both coming on done.

"Ya make everythin' so worth while.. Please never ever scare me like that again" he says tears continuing to stream down his face.

"I promise"

Tag❤️‍🔥: @elvisalltheway101

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not believing my "friend" is depressed?

(▶️ <- to recognize my ask)

So first of all a little backstory to explain why I don't believe her in the first place:

My "friend" (calling her P for this) has been my friend since we were both around 12. Around age 14 I realized how toxic she was (always putting me down and trying to one-up me, making me feel like shit overall), so I started to distance myself from her. I don't consider her my friend anymore, she still thinks we are.

Now, P has always had this habit of lying to put herself in the spotlight. Some lies include being kidnapped (the time raning from 1 month to one year), being from one of the richest families in the world and also having DID. The last lie I just mentioned came when one of our mutual friends was going through a difficult time with her mental health and was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. (The reason I don't belive her on this is because a good week later she forgot she told us this)

Anyways, recently she came to me, talking about how she is depressed. I'm not all that good at controlling my facial expression, and she noticed that I don't believe her, and now she is calling me all sorts of insults and then got the whole class involved (all of us are 16-18 atm)

My friends and classmates are divided on this, bc while most know abt her lying habits, some still think it's insensitive to not believe her because "she might have changed and her ways". I'm not really sure how to feel so I'm asking here now.

What are these acronyms?

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 50 - Red Dawn

Summary: A tense car ride is full of twists and turns. Josie gets an upsetting message. Craig softens and he and Jo seem to bond as they share another long talk. A phone call leaves Jo with more questions than answers.

*Chapter Warnings* language, angst, anxiety, drinking,

Chapter characters: Luke, Josie, Craig, Lee

Chapter word count: 7,953

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist:

Salem, Massachusetts

March 22, 2022

The tedious drive back to Salem seemed like an eternity and it was deafly quiet, except for the cat-like purr of Luke's Charger. As soothing as the subtle sound was, it still couldn't calm the seething tension between you and the law abiding bad boy that consistently chewed on his thumb nail, for it was much too close for comfort in the compacted side by side space.

But as the cruising car entered Essex county, your focus then went to the mile long monster that lied up ahead. The Salem Harbor Bay bridge that you had recently drove over with Orlando with no choice, for time had been of the essence to get to Dave and this time, your reaction was not much different as your anxiety began to rise, but at least that time, you were in the driver seat. You had control and had someone with you that you trusted and felt safe with and that got you through it. Now, you were literally bound by your wrists and at the mercy of a man who's personality was all over the place. Hot, cold, gentle, savage. It was mood swing madness and you had been stupid enough to wake the lion.

The no speaking agreement was now over for you as you became desperate. "Can you please go another way?"

Luke's tone was cold and his words were straight to the point. "Nope. Freeway. Nowhere to turn around. This way is faster. The sooner I get you out of my car and my sight, the better."

You supposed you couldn't blame his anger after shoving him like you did. You were angry with yourself too, for look where it had landed you. In cuffs and facing prison time for assaulting a cop. Jesus, how were you going to get out of this one? You hated to admit it but Luke was probably right. Gerry couldn't do anything for you. Not without jeopardizing his job and his morals, but...it didn't mean he wouldn't try and you had to hold out hope for that, for if anyone could find some loophole to free you, it was your ex-fiance. You also knew that his guilt over his drunken one-nighter with your sister would give him the extra incentive, not to mention, he still loved you and now you were the one who felt guilty for even thinking of using that against him. BUT, you had the same issue you recently had with Dave. Gerry was M.I.A. and now with that added onto the Brobdingnagian bridge rapidly approaching, your nerves might just send you into a code blue.

Seconds before the wheels thumped over the divide from stable ground to an abyss of lung filling liquid, Luke couldn't help but notice your fear through his random side eyed glances at you as your body stiffened up, your breathing ceased and your eyes clenched shut. He pretended not to notice as he stared straight ahead and tried not to care but deep below the hardened shell of a man, the Grinch's small heart grew 3 sizes that day.

"What's going on Jo?"

"Just shut up and drive. Faster would be great." you muttered, eyes still closed.

"Can't. There's a truck in front of me and I can't pass. Double lines."

Your left eye peeked at Luke. "Oh my god mister holier than thou. Trying to make up for the shitty things you've done by being a model citizen now? What happened to the skillful driver who perfectly whipped my Monte Carlo around every turn in town like he was Luke Duke in the General Lee trying to outrun Rosco P. Coltrane?'

"But Bo always drove the majority of the time."

"Yeah I know that! I just thought it was more fitting to say Luke since that's your name and your hair is dark like his."

"True I suppose. I didn't care for Bo anyways. I don't like blonde hair."

There was silence as both of your eyes were now open and glaring at him as he stared straight ahead with that curled smug smirk of his.

You then raised a smart ass brow. "So that's why you cuffed and stuffed me."

Luke's eyes swung right over to yours and now you were giving the smug smirk.

"I cuffed you because that blonde hair of yours caused you to do something extremely stupid. Now, I thought we weren't talking?"

Your lips pursed and your eyes slitted. "We're NOT! So just hurry up and get us over this bridge already."

"We've been over it for the past 30 seconds."

"What?"

You straightened up in your seat and looked around to see that you were now on a rural road surrounded by forestry.

"Hmmph." you marveled as you burrowed back into your heated leather seat. "Guess I was distracted."

Luke grinned as he glanced at you. "Exactly. It usually does the trick."

"Wait, so...you only engaged in conversation with me to distract me from my fear??"

"Yep and it worked like a charm. Guess I' m not such a bad guy after all."

"Says you."

His eyes snapped to you as he grimaced. "Why do you hate me so much?"

"Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question??? Can you please just STOP talking now??"

"Whatever." he mumbled and sped up.

Not even a minute passed and Luke was speaking again. "So...you're afraid of bridges huh? Why's that?"

Rolling your eyes, you sighed and continued to gaze out the window as you reluctantly replied.

"I'm not afraid of bridges. I'm afraid of heights. There's a difference."

"So, more so, you're afraid of falling really."

"Well duhhhh...and falling into what lies beneath it. All the weight of that water, just pulling me down further and further into it's ice cold depths where there's nothing but darkness and it fills my lungs as my panic forces me to suck it in, trying to breathe."

"Or...you could always swim."

Your eyes lowered as you became quiet and began fidgeting with your fingers.

As Luke looked at you, awaiting your usual mordant riposte, he quickly realized why you hadn't.

"You...you can't swim?"

"Does this even matter? Why can't you just leave me alone and quietly revel in my misery? I got my just deserves. But hey, if you do happen to find a heartbeat under that cold and austere armor, could you not mention this to my mother for the time being? This is the last thing she needs right now."

You wriggled your hips in the skintight seatbelt so you could turn towards the window to hide the oncoming tears of shame and once Luke couldn't see you, they poured out of your eyes like a waterfall. What you didn't consider was that he could see your emotional reflection in the glass as you silently sobbed.

5 minutes of faint intermittent whimpers and sniffles were unwillingly heard loud and clear by Luke. As he came to a stop at a red light, he looked over at you and that's when his own anxiety got the better of him.

Seeing you all vulnerable and huddled against the door like a child sent a stinging twinge of empathy through his heart and made him question if what he was doing was right, even if you did break the law, for he had goaded you and not only that, your anger was justified about Lee. He wasn't going to tell you that though or the fact that he spent many nights weeping and beating himself up over what happened between him and his once upon a time good friend. It was extremely hard for him to speak about just as it was for Lee, for Luke knew it was all of his own fault by intentionally knocking over the first domino, he just never knew the chain of events would lead up to what it did. What he did know is that someday, you would know the ugly truth.

As Luke neared the road that led straight into downtown Salem, the guilt trip he was on forced him to abruptly stop and turn around.

As he pulled to the side of the road and parked, you were already sitting straight up with wet and wildly confused eyes.

"What are you doing? The police station is the other way?"

"I'm not going there. Give me your hands."

"What??"

"Jo, just give me your hands before I change my mind."

As you slowly and unsurely swayed your hands in his direction, he grabbed them, startling you as he vigorously unlocked the cuffs, then yanked your seatbelt off.

"There. Go on. Get out of here."

You sat speechless for a moment, staring at him as he stared out of his window, chewing his thumb nail once again.

"You...you're letting me go...just like that??"

"Did I not just take the cuffs off and tell you to go?"

"Ok but...here? You want me to walk? It's at least another mile to get back to my apartment."

"Can't you just thank me and get out?"

"Why won't you look at me and WHY are you doing this?"

"God damn it." he grumbled and side eyed you. "Why are you such a pain in the ass??!! Just fucking go!"

"Not until you tell me why you changed your mind and are freeing me into the wild like some caged bird??!!"

His palms slapped over his face and then he roughly dragged them down as he groaned in frustration.

"If I tell you, will you fly away???"

"Depends on what the answer is."

"Holy fucking hel..." he began as his fuming eyes met yours, but abruptly paused when he saw the remnants of your tears, then popped the glove box open, ripped a tissue out and held it in front of you as he continued, refusing to look at you once again.

"It's what you said about your mum. You're right. She don't need this. I spoke with her briefly last night and she was quite distraught about Megan so, I just feel with all her grief over one daughter, she don't need the added stress from another."

"So you're telling me you're doing this for my mom??"

"You sound like that's incredibly hard to believe."

"I don't know what to believe from you anymore Luke. One minute, you're this sweet and caring man that seems to have a heart, like the one who once came to my mom's house and comforted me through an anxiety attack and even defended me against my sister and stopped me from strangling her, WHICH ironically I was doing for you with Landy only 24 hours prior when you morphed into robot Arnie the freaking terminator...and the next minute, you're back to being human again, helping me back there on the bridge and now you're claiming to let me go out of sympathy for my mom."

You sat back in a huff, realizing that Lee was behaving the exact same way and you were at a crossroads, literally, on what to do anymore about either of these messed up men.

Luke sighed and softened up a bit. "Look Jo. I don't know what else to say. I pushed you over the edge, waving a red flag at you. If I hadn't done that, I don't think we would be sitting here right now."

And so you softened up a bit too. "Yeah well, I pretty much came at you sideways and got you all riled up."

Luke chuckled and shook his head, then looked right at you with a disbelieving smile.

"What?" you asked, returning a half smile as your eyes curiously tried to figure him out.

"You. You're so afraid of all these things that are bigger than you and here I am, at least 3 times your size, yet you weren't afraid to shove me on my ass. I'm not sure what shocks me more. The fact that you did it or the fact that you were even able to do it. I admire that fire in you Jo. Don't ever let anyone try to put it out. With that said though, use that fire on those other than authority. If it were anyone other than myself or Gerry, you'd be at the station right now being booked as we speak."

You gasped. "Oh god, speaking of, I better call Dave and tell him because I guarantee he's already on his way to bail me out and you'll be busted. I mean, it's the least I can do so you don't lose your job over me."

Luke sat quietly stunned as you made the call, telling Dave to turn around and asking him to keep what he knew under wraps.

"There. He won't say anything. I really hope you are going to lay off of him now."

"As long as these ferry tickets he gave me and the ferryman's words all coincide, he should be good. Thank you Jo and... for the record, I wouldn't have just left you out here. I would have let you sweat for about 5 minutes and then came back." Luke teased with the usual curled grin, then put the car in drive.

Your riposte came out of left field and definitely struck a nerve. "Thanks for sparing me from being another victim of love em and leave em Luke."

Luke gritted his teeth, appalled by knowing that either Orlando or Lee had told you about his notorious moniker of his younger days that he had long forgotten about and wanted to keep it that way.

"This joy ride is over. It's time for you to go home and...about Lee. Just stop asking me. It's his story to tell. Put your seatbelt on."

"It's not just his story when you're involved."

"Wasting...your...breath." he firmly certified and slid a cd in, hoping to shut you up.

You buckled your belt then crossed your arms and scoffed as you sank back into the seat. When a song came on, Luke cranked it up and began mumbling the words as he tapped his fingers upon the wheel and both the singing and the choice of music had your eyes gaping at him with an severely raised brow.

"There'll be no strings to bind your hands..." he began and then snickered as he glanced at you. "How fitting eh?"

"Seriously? You have a Juice Newton cd? Why am I not all that surprised."

"You're mocking me when you clearly know who she is?"

"Nope. Not at all. It's just that the night you drove my car, your choice of music was quite different and frankly much better."

"Oh, you mean Radar Love. Yeah well it was fitting for the occasion just like this one because now here we are with you, a cheery oh angel of the morning." he razzed and then beamed a snarky smile full of teeth.

Shaking your head, you heavily sighed and looked away, trying to ignore the overgrown infant beside you, but that quickly became impossible when he began crooning out the chorus, which you knew was solely just to annoy you.

"JUST CALL ME ANGEL OF THE MORNING BABY! JUST TOUCH MY CHEEK BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME BABY! Then slowly turn away...from meeeee."

"Whad'ya think? Next American Idol winner?" he gloated and howled on with his karaoke session, which if you were to be honest, Luke had a damn good set of pipes but you wouldn't dare tell him that because then he would certainly never shut up.

"Goblin king, take this baby away from me!" you irrationally jeered, then flung your head back against the seat and closed your eyes to try and zone him out, hoping he would take the hint to leave you alone, but you should have known better than that.

Luke's speedy riposte was a breath stealing punch to the gut and you had pretty much had set yourself up for it.

"Oooo ouch. That's rich coming from you. You know Jo, you should really be careful what you wish for since children seem to go missing when you're around."

Just as your eyes snapped open from the sting of his tongue, Luke was pulling up in front of your apartment and low and behold, Craig was outside speaking with what appeared to be a gardener.

"What a coinkydink. Daddy dearest in the flesh. So, does he know that Blaise was right within his reach that night and you knew and didn't...."

"He knows alright! I..I told him yesterday and now, I guess I'll be moving back in with my mom."

"Oh? Why not move in with Lee? You're basically at his place and up his arse all the time anyways aren't you?"

"Now you're the one wasting their breath. We're done here Luke. And if I were you, I'd get out of here before Craig sees you. Besides me, you're not exactly his favorite person."

"Not worried in the least."

As you opened the door, Luke touched your shoulder. "Hey Jo."

"What now??"

"Just be careful around him ok? You're probably better off to get away from him."

"And that's rich coming from YOU." you argued and got out.

Before you could close the door, Luke had more to say.

"Oh and Jo."

"Oh my god, what Luke??"

"Don't let the door hit you in that cute ass."

You shot a death glare at the derogative detective, then slammed the door and heard the blacked out window roll down.

With an arrogant wink, Luke put on a pair of mirrored sunglasses and attempted his best terminator voice. "I'll be bock."

Your eyes rolled so hard, it made you dizzy. "Ughhhh!"

As you stormed off, he revved the engine and sped off which then alerted Craig to your arrival. The last thing you wanted was another confrontation, especially with your rightfully pissed and soon to be ex-landlord, so you kept your head down and moved quickly, feeling his eyes upon you the entire time as you trekked up the sidewalk and into the building, but he never said a word.

You were now safe inside your apartment, all alone to finally gather and process all of your scattered thoughts, but first, you needed to call your mom and see how Megan was.

Slipping off your coat, you let it fall to the floor and went straight to the fridge for some wine, not caring that it was only 10 in the morning, the same time Craig had been drinking yesterday that you hypocritically gave him a lecture about. As you sat down on your bed with your full glass and turned your phone screen on, there was a text from Lee.

When you opened it and read his woeful words, your heart dropped down to your stomach as if you were falling.

Lee always expressed himself with such endearing words from his heart, but sometimes, he let poetry and music speak for him and this time, it was lyrics from a song you knew.

"I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do haunted by the ghost of you. Take me back to the night we met when the night was full of terrors and your eyes were filled with tears. When you had not touched me yet. Take me back to the night we met and then I can tell myself what the hell I'm supposed to do. And then I can tell myself not to ride along with you."

Your heart began to pound, for Lee was basically telling you he wished he could go back to that day in the hospital and never visit your room and that meant you never would have found his bracelet under your bed and took it to his house where your love story all began. You knew he wasn't trying to hurt you. He was just being honest about how he was feeling, but it still hurt. It hurt immensely.

You didn't reply. You didn't even know what to say to that, so you just picked up your wine and let the entire contents of the glass roll down your throat as you fought back the burning tears.

Desperately trying to distract yourself, you called your mom. She told you Megan was doing well but was still too groggy to speak. She also told you that she saw Lee that morning when she came down for coffee. He was on the phone with someone, seemingly upset, so she respectfully kept her distance but she couldn't help overhearing his scolding tone to the unlucky recipient. He spoke about his father's one month of passing and that he was going to his grave to pay his respects after attending the evening mass and told the other person that they should be going too, then Lee abruptly hung up and stormed out. You knew instantly it had to be Gordon and had something to do with the farm dispute between the two bitter brothers.

You told your mom you would be there later to sit with Megan so she could go home, eat and shower. When you hung up, you then nervously wondered if you should still go to the cemetery too, like you and Lee had planned, for if you saw him, you might not be able to walk away again.

Undecided, you got up to begin packing up some things since Craig had given you till the end of the month to move out and that was now only 7 days away. Luke's words haunted you about moving in with Lee as you sorted through your clothes. Yes, you were there all the time and everything was perfect in that area. You were so happy there with him. You would have been happy anywhere with him because Lee was home to you.

Your distraction tactic of keeping busy was failing miserably and it was quickly blown to bits when you were going through clothes you hadn't laundered yet and found a shirt of Lee's that you wore home a few mornings ago. And if that wasn't gut wrenching enough, it was still saturated in his Drakkar cologne and all you could do was scrunch it up against your nose and inhale his intoxicating essence as you laid down and cried your exhausted eyes to sleep.

Meanwhile, Craig was on his way up to your apartment to give you back your deposit and as he approached your door, he raised his hand to knock, but humbly lowered it when he could hear your muffled laments from within. Whatever you were going through, he felt that he should not add to it and it aggravated him that he even cared. Was any of it due to how he had treated you?, for he just witnessed you had rushed to avoid him at all costs or was it because of the depraved detective he had come to despise?, solely because he was Ethan's brother. Craig's street smarts told him Luke was still a red flag, no matter what surname he took on to disassociate himself with the flyblown Bloom blood and if Luke became a threat to you as Ethan had, he would handle him too. Regardless of what was ailing you, Craig decided to leave you alone for the time being and slipped the check under the door, then left, feeling rather disheartened over making you leave.

3 hours later.

You awoke in the same position that you fell asleep in, still tightly clutching Lee's shirt against you and now, not only did his sweet succulent scent seep from your pores, it was also imbedded in your purple satin sheets. You had to get rid of it. ASAP.

The bed was torn apart as you ripped the sheets from it and threw them in the basket along with the perpetrator, Lee's guilty shirt and then headed to the door to take them all down to the laundry room which is when you discovered the check laying on the floor.

Upon picking it up, the amount floored you, for it was hundreds more than what you had given Craig and attached on the back was a sticky note, scribbled in red ink with incredibly perfect penmanship for a man.

Craig certainly seemed to be on the wealthy side but this was too much and was clearly not about your clothes. It was his guilt over kicking you out and you weren't about to accept a payoff apology, especially when he didn't even have anything to be sorry about. You were the reason his 4 year old daughter was missing, even when you weren't the one who snatched her.

Exasperated over that and everything else, you hurried downstairs and packed the washer full of clothes along with an undetermined amount of soap while sobbing the entire time, then went back up to cry some more in the shower, a shower that was cut short by a burst of water as cold as the Atlantic and rust as red as blood....just like what happened to Dave. AND...you had the same reaction as he did.

Gasping and frantically rubbing your eyes, you huddled in the corner waiting for your sight and the water to clear. What was happening?? You did not believe that to be a coincidence all in a matter of 8 hours at two far away different locations, especially when that had never happened in your shower before. Was it some kind of sign, more so an omen or was it merely a plumbing issue like Dave believed his was?

Now that you were all primed and primped for the day, you resumed your packing while debating on calling Craig about his demonic shower needing an exorcist and to come get his money, or...you could just simply shove it back under his door with your own note attached so you didn't have to interact with him. Option 2 seemed best.

You scrawled out a note on the back of his and reattached it to the check, then quietly creeped down the hall to his studio where all was silent inside. Hoping he wasn't in there, you bent down and slipped it under the door, cringing at loud the sound was. Just as you stood up to tiptoe off undetected, footsteps swiftly approached the door.

Spinning around with a gasp, you rushed off only to freeze solid at his shout from directly within the door.

"Just Josie. Come on in!"

With a gulp, you hesitated then slowly made your way back to the door and walked in. There he stood, dressed in all black attire as usual and wickedly grinning while holding your check.

He then turned it over and began reading your note out loud in a trenchant, yet amused tone.

"Thank you but no thank you. My outfit only cost twenty bucks at a thrift shop."

"Well, if that's so." he continued, "then you obviously like deals and that's what this is. A hell of a bargain actually."

"Craig, the added amount is almost as much as one months rent. All you needed to give me was my deposit."

"I was trying to apologize for my wine induced behavior and the harsh things I said to you and a simple "I'm sorry" just didn't seem to cut it."

"You don't owe me an apology Craig. I deserved all of it and the paint bath too."

"You were only trying to help my drunk ass up and even after the first failed attempt that ruined your clothing, you still tried again. And no, you didn't deserve my spontaneous misguided anger. You didn't kidnap my child and you certainly couldn't have known that it was going to happen."

"How could I have not?? I witnesses Elizabeth drop her off at Angel's in a panic over Ethan harassing her about paternity. I should have tried a hell of a lot harder to reach you, end of story... and for that, I will forever be so damn sorry, but as you said, those words just don't seem to cut it. I..I pray that you find Blaise safe, sound and soon. I really do and I will do whatever I can to help make that happen and make things right for you and her. Now, I have to go finish packing. Your apology is accepted and please just keep the money."

"Alright." Craig agreed with astonished disappointment all over his face as he watched you walk out.

His agreement was short lived though and he chased after you, squeezing in your door just before you turned to close it.

"Craig, what the..."

"Just hear me out. Please?"

"Do I even have a choice since you barged right in?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Ok fine, but whatever you have to say, you'll have to say it while watching me pack. I have a lot to do today."

"Fair enough. I guess I'll start with Jason. Are we even now?"

"Even?? Craig, I swear I didn't use Blaise to get back at you for..."

"No no no. Jo, I know you didn't and I'm sorry I ever said that. What I meant was, well...if I forgive you, can you forgive me for not telling you your brother was alive? I mean, you were pretty rabid mad that day. Just a little bit scary." he teased with a smile.

You chuckled as you thought of what you just did to Luke. "Yeah umm...I guess I too had spontaneous misguided anger. It was meant for Jason, not you. I know you were just trying to keep him safe and you did. You saved his life, so how can I not forgive you?"

"Sweet. So we're square now. Well, except for one thing."

Craig walked over to your suitcase and began tearing your clothes out of it.

"What are you doing??"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm unpacking your clothes."

"What...wait...why?? Put those back!"

"I will not. I don't want you to leave. I kinda like you a little bit if I'm honest AND I think you kinda like it here and maybe even me too and..."

He held up a long blue dress and placed it against his brawny body. "And oooh wow. Smokin hot."

"Give me that!" you barked and grabbed it, but Craig laughed and wouldn't let go.

"Nope. Not until you agree to stay." he demanded as you both were now playing tug of war...until the dress split right down the middle.

"Oh, well THAT'S great. It's all yours!" you huffed and plopped down on the edge of the bed.

Craig sat down too and slowly handed you the ripped remnants.

"Sorry." he whispered.

You couldn't even be mad, especially when he had the shameful expression of dog who got busted for chewing up a pair of shoes. Instead, you did what you were becoming a pro at lately. Broke down crying with your face buried in your hands.

"Whoaaa, hey now sweetheart. What's this??"

"Everything!" you squeaked and then rambled on. "My sister was hurt really bad and is in the hospital. She could have, would have died if she hadn't been found and I know Ethan did it, and I was almost arrested today for what you described as my rabid madness and Jason took off with Britt because of your creepy ass father and Lee, he is...I don't even know anymore with that and then everyone's showers are spraying blood and..."

"Alright slowwww down and breathe love. Let's start with the psycho scene. Showers are spraying blood??"

"Yes, mine and Dave's. Well, he said it was rust but with all this ghost shit, I don't know what to think."

"Ghosts??"

"Long story. Is your shower doing that?"

"No...and what did you do to almost land yourself behind bars?"

You mumbled your answer in shame. "I...assaulted a cop."

Craig's eyes popped wide open as he released a titter out of is grinning lips. "Oh how I would have loved to have had a front row seat to that event. What a little baddy you are. Remind me to never piss you off."

"Not funny." you sniffled.

"Ok, maybe not then, but you're obviously not in jail. So, how'd you get out of that mess? Oh wait, was it your ex-fiance cop?"

"Let's just skip this part ok? I shouldn't have mentioned it."

Considering Craig saw Luke drop you off and how fired up you both seemed, he knew it was him you spoke of, but per your request, he would drop it and the overwhelming desire to take the little piggy to market...for now.

"Yeah cops aren't exactly my favorite subject either. Ok so...what's going on with your sister? Ethan attacked her?"

"It certainly appears that way but she hasn't been alert enough to finger him. I'm going to the hospital later to see if she's talking, but I just know it was him. I think he did it because she told Luke that she thinks Ethan took Blaise because he thinks he is her father or maybe he did it to scare me because he hates me and wants Lee all to himself."

"That measly inbred maggot. I should have just taken care of that problem when..."

Craig stopped himself but, it was too late.

"When? Does that have something to do with what you said yesterday? About something you did for me involving him??"

Craig seemed stunned and he was. "I...said that??"

"Yes..I...I just forgot with all that was going on. Craig, what did you mean?"

"Jo, I was quite sauced yesterday remember? I tend to say a lot of things when I drink. What...exactly...did I say?" he probed with an curious brow so he could figure out if he had to tell you what he knew about Ethan and Lee.

"You said you protected me from him but never said why or how."

Craig made sure that his explanation wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the entire truth because he felt you didn't need to know Lee was still Ethan's husband during a meltdown.

"Ohhh...that. Yes, well...I...I saw him once and I basically told him to stay away from you or he'd be fish food." he paraphrased as his heart began to beat again.

"You did that for me?"

Craig suddenly felt awkward. Not in a bad way, but more in a "too close for comfort" kind of way, so he gave a logical answer instead of admitting he had taken a sweet fancy to you, which was the last thing he wanted. He had vowed to himself after Elizabeth's destruction that he would never allow himself to become close to another woman ever again.

"Well...you're my best friend's little sister, so, you know. What's important to Jason is important to me."

"Well thank you and well... I wish you HAD fed Ethan to a mosh pit of sharks, still ALIVE and baited in a pool of his own blood and then let me watch so I could hear his screeching screams and the satisfying crunch of his bones as the angry aquatic vampires with a thousand razor sharp teeth chomped him to death in a splashing feeding frenzy of pure diabolical rage."

"Yeeesh. Easy there Annie Wilkes. Tell me how you really feel, minus the Stephen King synopsis. Horrifying image."

"Arrrgh. Jason was supposed to have taken care of him by now and for saying that, I feel like such a fucking hypocrite for giving him and Lee such a hard time about Liz when she was no better than Ethan."

"And I married the black widow. Even had a kid with her, or so I thought. Creator of life, destroyer of mine. "

'"So did Lee basically. She fooled everyone, EVEN Ethan. God Craig, how could she do that to her own son??? That little boy was my nephew and now Ethan has your daughter and I know he's not just going to forget about Lee. So much keeps happening. No wonder I ended up in the hospital."

"I...I heard about that and...I wanted to maybe send you some flowers or come visit but...I..I didn't think my presence would have been appropriate, you know, just being your landlord and all and well...there's the little tidbit of my primary profession as well that I'm sure Lee isn't too fond of. Anywhoooo...I'm really glad you're ok. You're...ok..right?"

"For the most part yeah. Just gotta keep my iron intake up and stress levels down, which you can see is damn near impossible with the life I'm stuck in."

"You're only stuck if you choose to be."

"It doesn't feel like a choice anymore, even when I try to...ugh, it doesn't even matter."

Craig's ocean-like eyes were consoling as his hand went to your cheek. "Hey, it does matter. What else is bothering you? I have really good listening ears like that of a faithful family dog, only much less hair and a strong but soft shoulder to lean on and even comforting arms if you recall."

"I don't know. Like, for one thing, I'm supposed to hate my sister after all the horrible shit she's done to me and yet, I'm having a hard time hating her after what happened. Like, why...why do I care about people that don't deserve it???"

"Because you have a good heart which can sometimes be a curse really. You're supposed to be able to trust the people closest to you and when they go and give you a reason not to, it's a total mind fuck. It's hard to let them go even when you know it's what's best for you. I get it Jo."

"What I don't get is why I'm not good enough for the truth. I'm always being lied to. It's become nothing but a pattern and how am I supposed to trust someone when I don't know what they're holding back?"

"Ok first of all, you are good enough and if someone doesn't see that, then they are the ones not good enough and second of all, why do I feel this is not about your sister?"

"I appreciate what you're trying to do Craig, but...it doesn't matter."

"It does matter because you're clearly not happy. Tears don't lie. Are...you happy?"

Your eyes fell. "No. No I'm not. I'm miserable."

"Me too. Why don't you stay. We can be miserable neighbors together and drink wine every day and night to the point of inebriation, creating terrible art as a hobby while being covered in a rainbow of paint. You know, kind of like I already do? It's actually kinda fun and therapeutic. A little bit of good trouble..per se. I could use some inspiration as you well know."

You giggled. "Right...because we would actually be the artwork. How inspiring."

"Exactly! Except you'd be a firework. Oh, and you still owe me a viewing of your own masterpieces. So...whad'ya say?"

Craig got down on one knee and took your hand as he gave you a pathetic puppy face.

"Will you be my neighbor?"

"Oh my god you're such a nerd. Get up." you chortled and stood up.

"Well, I've been called much worse. Things I cannot even pronounce. You don't want to know, trust me. Sooooo, is that a yes?"

"I'll think about it."

"YES!" he jeered like an old lady at a bingo game winning the jackpot.

"So now, I'm really sorry but I need to get going. Thank you Craig...for listening and for the advice. It was nice. I want you to know I'm thinking of Blaise everyday and if I can help, I will. You'll never convince me that it wasn't my fault."

In the blink of an eye, Craig became all serious as he placed his hands on your arms. "Alright but, before I go, I need you to listen to me. Don't be letting your guilt cause you to do something dangerous. You let me handle this ok?? I don't want anything happening to you. Let me know what you decide on the apartment and...I'm really glad you're ok Jo and I...I hope you will stay. I like having you around."

He softly smiled and headed to the door, then turned back around.

"Oh and...I'm also glad you don't hate me."

"Ditto." you smiled. "Talk soon."

Craig left and you felt terrible for him. The formidable mafia man, always full of quirky humor wasn't so tough on the inside and was clearly lonely, but even so, you had to do what was best for you and if you stayed, would it really be a good idea? Had you known when you first moved in that Craig was one of Sonny's men and Jason's bff, you most likely would have ran away as fast and as far as you could. On the other hand, he could protect you and he wanted to and you felt safe around him. BUT, that didn't mean you would be. Things could always go wrong, especially in his world, which was now your world. Although, hadn't it always been your world because of Jason? And things always went wrong then, no matter where you were. Even your own brother couldn't keep you safe.

In your confliction, you knew you may still need to leave on a temporary basis because of your sister. No one knew yet what happened to her or where Ethan was, so she could still be in danger and that put your mom in danger as well with Megan living with her.

As you carried on with packing the rest of the one suitcase for the time being, once again you were interrupted. This time by the cordless phone ringing that Lee had talked you into getting for extra ways of communication. You decided to let the answering machine get it because you were in a hurry to get to the hospital, but when Lee's hypnotizing voice was heard, you stood frozen in time.

"Hey sweet girl. I tried your cell but...I don't know, it must be on silent or maybe you just don't want to talk to me. I wish you would. I'm sorry about my text. I didn't mean it in the way you must think. If you're there, could you please pick up? I'd really love to hear your voice."

He paused and waited a few moments, then continued.

"Ok, well, I...I'll just say what I need to say and leave you alone. Jo, I know I've said this so many times and it just sounds so meaningless, but I mean it, with every ounce of my being. I'm so sorry baby. For all of this. For all I have put you through. It's only been a single day and I miss you in ways that there are no words for. You are a mental and physical ache. A longing woven deep into my DNA and I...I don't know how to live like this. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm nothing without you. I'm inside out. I merely exist in this soulless shell and because I know you exist, there's no going back for me. There will never be anyone else for me but you. No one else could ever do. The heart wants what it wants and mine wants you and I knew it. I knew you were the right one from the get go and I still know it because the word "forever" does not sound like enough time."

As your heart was being torn in two and devoured by his agony, you walked over to the phone and picked it up, letting your finger hover over the call button, but you couldn't bring yourself to answer, so you just kept listening to his unintentional torture.

"I know I have no one else to blame but myself. I know I'm broken. We were both broken. By life. By others. By our own serious dysfunctions, but we finally found each other after a decade of near misses. We were so close to each other all that time, yet so far apart and when destiny finally stepped in and we finally came together like the sun and moon during a total eclipse, all of the jagged edges of our broken pieces fit together like a puzzle, as if all that time, we were being broken for that purpose, to be a perfect fit for each other. But now I feel like I don't fit anywhere at all. Not anymore. Life goes on around me as i sit here and watch the boats sail by on the bay and I feel like I'm just a spectator, watching from the sidelines. You were...are my life. You are where I belong. You are my purpose, my reason. God Jo. Without you, all I want to do is drown my sorrows away and Lord knows I've tried, but even then, a sea full of whiskey couldn't intoxicate me as much as a drop of you. Because of you, I believe in love and fairytales and soulmates and everything that is magic. I followed the signs because you showed them to me. Just tell me it's not too late. Don't give up on me. I want to tell you everything and if I can bring myself to do that, maybe then you'll understand. I guess I've wrote a novel here and I should go. I still wish you would come today...to the cemetery. I'll be there around 4. If you don't come, it's ok. I will understand. Ok well..."

There was a pause and then he finished as his voice became very shaky. "I...I love you Miss Massachusetts. God I love you."

Lee quickly hung up and sat down. He had too. The 3 Red Bulls he downed earlier paired with the threat of an oncoming panic attack had him jittery, weak and breathless.

"Lee wait!" you shouted as you punched the red button, but there was nothing but a dial tone.

Should you call him back? It would be so much easier than speaking to him in person because he had this wicked way of breaking you down and getting what he wanted from you that no one else had ever possessed, but of course he could say the same thing about you. Now the real question was, should you go? Lee clearly needed you and you were worried about him. You could hear it in his voice, the fear, the destitution and desperation...the love. And just because you and he were having problems didn't mean you would abandon him, but were you strong enough to uphold your boundaries in his presence? The mere sight of him was like some invisible magic in itself. You felt so guilty because he was fighting like hell for you and you were keeping him at arms length and just running away. Fight or flight? That was the all out question now and you knew exactly who to go to for the answers. Someone who had been through it all. Your mother.

@redeemer46

[thepatchycat]

Hi! For the WIP List Game: Dragon Jedi AU?? I am intrigued

Hehe, that one is inspired by @bubblew0lf1's Dragon!Jedi AU! I adore all of their dragon designs, especially Obi-Wan's, and it got me thinking about a sort of fantasy AU where the Jedi are shape-shifting dragons. I'm not sure it's something that'll ever become a finished thing, but it's been fun to think about.

Rambling and a snippet below the cut :P

This AU's setting would condense most of the notable SW planets into continents/countries/cities on one planet; there wouldn't be any space travel, though technology would probably be better than in a medieval fantasy setting. Dragons are rare and I'm thinking the knowledge of their intelligence and that they can also be people is not well-known (either a closely guarded secret or actively suppressed)--and they're also being actively hunted by the Republic/Empire under the justification that dragons are extremely dangerous (this is Palpatine's fault, and he has far more nefarious reasons for hunting them down). I haven't worked out all the worldbuilding details, but I think the Jedi are a subset of dragons who serve as guardians where they can; recently, though, they've been forced to hide due to being hunted.

In this world, Cody and Rex are wardens (possibly heading up a small group of rangers) of a large woody/mountainous area bordering a very rural town far from the center of the Republic; the land was claimed and the town founded by the Mereel-Fett family after unrest in Mandalore forced Jaster Mereel (Jango Fett's adoptive father, Cody and Rex's grandfather) and his clan to leave. Mandalorians have a complicated history with dragons, but Jaster liked to tell stories about Tarre Vizla, a Mandalorian leader long ago who either was close friends with a dragon or was a dragon himself; details passed down through the centuries seem unclear. Jango's never been that interested in the tales, but Rex and especially Cody enjoyed them growing up.

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka moved to the town together pretty recently; I think Obi-Wan runs a bookshop (or maybe a small library? A fusion of the two?), while Anakin works as a mechanic who's teaching Ahsoka the trade as well. Cody likes to read and chats with Obi-Wan when he stops by for books, while Rex brings the rangers' equipment to Anakin and Ahsoka for professional servicing (Rex tinkers a bit himself, but Anakin's a wizard) and they become fast friends. Of course, the friendly neighborhood bookkeeper and mechanics don't tell anyone that they're also dragons, including the Fetts, but Cody and Rex find out the truth eventually.

The only thing I actually started writing for this beyond notes is a scene just after Obi-Wan (in dragon form) fights Grievous (also a dragon but not a Jedi) somewhere deep in the Fetts' protected area. Cody had been doing a sweep/patrol at the time and witnessed at least part of the fight, and he goes to investigate the aftermath.

Warning that it's more gruesome than I usually go, what with blood and a dead dragon. This is just also the most snippable portion of what little I have, I think.

There is a deafening thud, and then— Silence. Cody slowly approaches the edge of the ravine and looks down. A hulking white shape lies still at the base of the rocky slope, red pooling under its gash-ridden body. It’s hard to tell from a distance what precisely killed it, but the lack of motion and abundance of blood suggest that either it’s dead or will be soon. Partially obscured, a smaller brown shape lies behind the great white beast, closer to the river; it seems similarly bloodied and still. Cody feels a pang of sorrow—that one had saved his life, whether intentionally or not. …Better make sure they’re dead, lest any survivors roam too close to town. Cody picks his way carefully down the side of the ravine, shifting between stepping and climbing as needed. When he’s made it to the bottom, he draws his rifle and approaches the white dragon. There is no movement between its sharply defined ribs, and up close Cody can see where the base of its throat has been torn open by—well, horns or claws, most likely. He follows the long neck up to the head, where dull yellow eyes stare sightlessly out from behind a gaping maw. Cody prods its nose lightly with the tip of his rifle. No response. Tempting as it still is to put a bolt in its skull, he’s hunted enough himself to know what death looks like. There’s no need. He steps around the body of the beast toward the visible back of the brown one. One of its wings lies bent at an unnatural angle behind it, and— It’s breathing, quick and labored. Not moving otherwise, but still alive, at least for now.

(Once he works out he's not going to get mauled to death for trying to help, Cody puts his wilderness first-aid skills to use. He still doesn't learn that it's Obi-Wan for a while, though.)

[croxot]

Here I'll ramble about my favorite games this year.

This sure was a good year, and I have better opinions than the game awards do so I'm just gonna talk into the ether for a bit here.

Once upon a time I liked D&D 5e quite a bit, just like everyone else on this god forsaken internet. In recent years I've been more interested in Pathfinder 2e and Lancer. After so many years rolling with 5e, it became a bit more refreshing to try systems with more specific and rigid rules for certain things. However, a videogame requires specific adherence to rules to function, and in this respect, Baldur's Gate 3 is an incredible adaptation of the system. There's just so much stupid bullshit you're allowed to get away with in game that most devs would not even consider. I may have played thru act 1 like 7 times now and it's still entertaining. Also I went from hating Lae'zel to loving her. Congrats Larian, you made me like perhaps the most annoying person I've ever met in a videogame.

As my bones start to deteriorate I find myself seeking smaller, more intimate games that give a sort of feeling. Lunacid is "like" Kingsfield in the way that it's a first-person dungeon crawler. That's where the buck stops for that comparison gameplay wise. However, Lunacid offers an extremely specific feeling I find is rare in games. It's the same sort of "you're lost and alone but also it's also groovy" feel as Metroid Prime 1 & 2. And if you can capture the same sort of feeling that some of my favorite games ever gave me as a teenager, you're just automatically on my games of the year list.

I saw a gameplay video in passing on twitter, got slightly horny because caked-up goat lady, went to the steam page and saw OVERWHEMINGLY POSITIVE. I don't think my experience with Pseudoregalia is unique. It just feels great to jump around and the music slaps.

Cross the feeling of the open-sea adventure of Wind Waker, with the chase and collection of fishing minigames of countless other titles, and the dread of exploring the uncaring unknown. It scratches a seldom-scratched itch of exploratory joy within an indifferent universe. Dredge's systems can be distilled to the simple loop of growing beyond your own fears to discover more and more. None of these fears is particularly intense, but it's enough. Dredge isn't going to find itself on game of the year lists because it's doing any one thing particularly well. It's also not doing anything specifically or wholly NEW. It is however, more than the sum of it's parts, and it is beautiful.

Remnant 2 is the best co-op souls-style game that exists, tied with Nioh 2. That's it, that's what I had to say. It just real good and it deserves to be on game of the year lists.

So like, late this year, 2 Souls successors came out. Lies of P and Lords of the Fallen. And goddamn did Lords inspire division.

I think these releases really showed that people who are "Souls Fans" really cover a LOT of different specific interests, and not all of these interests are well-represented in every souls-like. Lords, perhaps amazingly, seems to cater to what I particularly want out of a Souls game, whereas Lies of P did not. I like these games for their challenge, sure, but more importantly, I like the character building. The ability to create a unique playstyle that I can take on the game with. This slowly grated on me in Lies of P because the game really only wants you to play it (and succeed at it) a certain way. Because the perfect parry was the truest answer to everything a boss could throw at you, and the dodge sucks ass, I felt more exhausted by the end of the game than anything. I also wanted to try a strength build, but the heaviest weapons cannot manage to fully wind up and land a hit on any bosses past the halfway point. Without any hyper-armor or poise, the "big weapon" playstyle felt completely trash, even outside of bosses. Lords lets me dodge, block, perfect parry, and hey they ALL feel useful. I can actually wind up big weapon hits too! Yeah it feels a bit floaty, and yeah enemy density can be rather crazy at times, but I'm the weirdo who's favorite Dark Souls is DS2. Lords also does ranged combat better than any of it's contemporaries. I think a lot of people also never played the original Lords of the Fallen. Now that game SUCKED. I played the whole thing, my god.

GAME OF THE YEAR BAYBEE

I've already talked about AC6, but again, you can't just get me to complete a game. I see an achievement list and I say "fuck that, I hate that!" I saw AC6's Achievement list and I was rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain. Like Pseudoregalia, AC6 just feels good to play. It feels so tight, and after a few hours you can feel the minute changes in the way your mech handles even after small part swaps. Anyways it needs DLC with more Rusty content. 12/10.

[mrdarcygenderenvy]

Recent Austen adaptations yelling

Ok I DID make this blog to review historical-set Pride & Prejudice adaptations (with an exception made for iconic B&P). But for everyone who was DEFINITELY WONDERING, yes I have also been storing away a lot of opinions about other recent Austen adaptations that I Must Tell Someone.

.

Fire island (2022)

A modern gay party cheesy rom-com P&P that genuinely made me laugh. Having seen some other (whiter) cheesy gay romcoms that were extreeeemely PG & playing it safe, I was pleasantly surprised.

Also Bowen Yang and his story just came across really earnest in a way I was into - would watch this man cry again, 10/10.

Personally as an extremely disabled british nerd (now tragically unable to travel and/or go to the club...) this gay scene is a long way from my queer scene. But I still had emotions, you know?

Kinda wanted more of the Mary analogue and generally just normal looking people (almost everyone is so ripped) but I appreciate that's how beautiful smooth people often look in mainstream american films, we can't have everything.

DARCY WATCH: I do not want to dress like this adaptation's chinos Mr Darcy. But Conrad Ricamora was generally great and very hot and awkward and understood the assignment. Good ice cream throw.

.

Emma (2020)

I know I know, it's pretty... but I don't think that's enough!!!!!

Lovely production, beautiful costumes, a candy wes-anderson cinematography that really suits the story, and it's fun to notice references to actual outfits and prints from the time but lads. LADS. UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME: Where is the chemistry???

You can’t make Mr Knightley a nice sweet boy (so funny to have cast a posh folksy singing man) and leave the plot the same and expect it to work!! Also I was personally pissed off that a lot of the promo/ ads for this made it look like ~forbidden love~ when it's the 2 richest white people in town getting together?? ? There's actually not even a class difference in this one, guys.

Basically this romance was nothing to me!!! I felt nothing!!!!!!!! WHERE'S THE DEPTH

I did like the bit where he lies down though. Relatable.

Also why are you drawing so much attention to the servants when you don’t seem to have anything to say about class...? 'Wow look how many servants they had! Anyway, they don't get any speaking lines'... it's 2020 guys!!! like what are we saying here. 'isn't it cool to think about how people were rich'??

kind of the point of Emma (character) is she's pretty superficial, but the story does not, in fact, have to be

.

Persuasion (2022)

Weeping softly into a pillow........ did you know this version meant a version with Sarah Snook and Joel Fry got cancelled?? we could have had it all

(standing on a table yelling) THE MODERNISATION WAS NOT THE PROBLEM WITH THIS FILM!!!

Honestly I actively liked all the entire secondary cast in this. Louisa and Mary were extremely charming fun takes to watch. ('I'm an empath' IS right for the character if you're doing modern jokes!!!) And nobody can deny this was a correct and powerful use of Richard E Grant.

Henry Golding was naturally great. Apparently he got offered the lead and took the villain instead, which DOES mean the villain is super charming and fun to watch which is... hard to match and.... kind of shows up.... the main man.

It's been said before but the main two were WOEFUL imo. I have no beef with the actors I just question the DIRECTION and whether anyone making this knew (or cared) why people... enjoy things.

Book Anne is the quietest gentlest loser and I LOVE HER and so does basically every Austen nerd. Making her a quirky wine-bath girl who's honestly just cruel sometimes fully stops the main romance chemistry and plot from working.

And it means the main boy is still like 'god I'm so horny for how KIND AND CAPABLE YOU ARE' which is just 100% no longer true. You can't transplant a personality in a romance but leave the plot the exact same and expect it to work. The chemistry IS the plot in a romance..........

you can't act morally superior to your siblings and still rate people out of ten.... also so funny to me that everyone else gets period outfits and hair whereas this protagonist looks like she just glanced at a picture of any time in the past and grabbed a couple shirts from primark. it doen't even look good or build character!!!!!

Anyway, not to be an elderly man like 'ohhh why does nobody care about character these days' but the reason something like Clueless works is because it has the heart of the story right, instead of just copying the surface level stuff.

[reineydraws]

Saw your most recent post and akjcsbakcb I LOVE HIM 😭😭

Also! I was wondering if you have any Jason hurt/comfort fic recs?

nonny, i have so many recs!!! possibly too many lol 🥲 it took a hot second but i narrowed it down to 12! first tho im just gonna recommend everything by @envysparkler (ao3) and @lurkinglurkerwholurks (ao3); ive cried liberally going through their whole works and it's all 👏 so 👏 good 👏👏👏

anyways, onto the rec list! ☀️ these are all batfamily hurt/comfort gen fics centred around jay & his family (usually bruce).

* btw these are in no particular order, and the word count is rounded to the nearest thousand! (ie. 3764 words will be listed as 4k)

If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You) by lurkinglurkerwholurks | 21k

5 times jay saves his siblings + 1 time they save him. it's got some humour in it but it's also soft and involves the trope of all of them coming to his rescue when he thinks no one will :')

Breathing by lurkinglurkerwholurks | 4k

jay is extremely hurt in this one but he's also the one doing most of the comforting via dark humour while his family freaks out lol. spoiler alert: includes the trope of injury hiding (specifically the one where a character literally holds their guts together lol) so as to not worry anyone further

hellhole by envysparkler | 4k

jason gets caught in an explosion and doesnt know if anyone can hear him call for help bc no one is replying, so he crawls out of the wreckage himself. there is so much angst and it's so good. spoiler alert: ofc they hear him, he just cant hear them. and ofc he narrates everything out loud ;P

grave secrets by envysparkler | 5k

tw suicide attempt. jason decides to return himself to his grave after the joker incident, and starts digging. he is v obviously not in a good headspace; tim shows up to try to stop him, even tho he's still injured from jason attacking him at titans tower. a line that continues to haunt me: “Here Lies Jason Todd,” he recites, and shrugs, “I’m just following directions.”

A Psalm of Grief and Anguish by LeilaSecretSmith (orphan_account) | series: 9k total (4 works)

tw suicide attempt. after jason successfully kills the joker, he realizes there's nothing left for him now that he's achieved what he wants. bruce finds him on a rooftop. (dick, tim and damian are poised for a catch.)

Recollect, re-collect by Ptelea | 94k

jason gets hit with a spell that makes everyone forget about him. the counterspell involves everyone talking about why no one wants to forget him. also heavily about the robin mantle and legacy, so it becomes a very jason & dick family feels fic. my favourite thing about it is that there's this mantra dick teaches his successors: "Robins balance different than Bats."

Stargazer by LemonadeGarden | 48k

jason and bruce go on a road trip cuz they never did that before jay died. there's also a memory jason revisits often throughout the fic of b teaching him constellations and jay feeling safe and the wistfulness and longing surrounding it hurt so much but it's so good. 🥲 this fic makes me ache remembering it.

A GRAVE FILLED WITH BOOKS. by orpheusaki | 5k

sometimes it feels like everyone's grown up and jason's stuck at the age he got murdered. sometimes he doesnt recognize bruce as his dad anymore, with how much jay's death changed him. bruce lost his son, and jason lost his dad, but they still have each other the way they are now. they're still father & son.

World’s Saddest Breakfast Club by motleyfam | 7k

jason's just escaped captivity and needs to eat, so he decides to go to the manor at ass o'clock and cook the lobster that is supposed to be for bruce's bday dinner for himself. his siblings come into the kitchen one by one while he cooks and he cooks for them too. funny, warm, and very food as a metaphor for love.

Aftermath by ivy_and_ivory | 25k

this is a bit more plotty than the rest of them lol. the red hood kills the joker than disappears from gotham. later, batman meets an injured red hood in paris and have to work together for a case. he doesnt know it's jason (yet). this is the fic that made me really understand what bruce means when he says "if i start killing then i cant stop."

life, if well lived by CaptainOzone | 11k

jason accidentally time travels and meets thomas and martha wayne on what turns out to be The Day. jay'a full of complicated feelings about bruce, but at the end of the day, jay's still his son (and those are his grand-parents).

Both Ends of the Candle by Lunette3002 | 5k

jason's been overworking himself and his brothers stop by his apartment to tell him to slow down. ends in couch cuddles. 🥰

there ya go, anon! hope u enjoy :)))

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐔𝐩 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲

Chevalier's 3rd birthday

Belated happy birthday (to my first love in ikeprince)

Sorry but also not sorry that I prioritized to work on Gil's story even though I got you first xD

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// means alternate translation

Birthdays, for example, did not matter to me at heart until a few years ago.

It was nothing special, just a part of time passing by.

It is only recently that it has taken on special meaning.

For a worthless and meaningless birthday, Emma sees value.

That was enough.

No, it was more than enough.

There is nothing else that I want, and I even wish there was nothing else.

Leon: "--I'm not going to let you do this forever."

(It was a hassle.) **

Black suddenly bursts into the afternoon's long, quiet office, his voice tinged with annoyance.

I had Emma and Clavis helping me with official duties, but both were completely out of it.

Clavis: "Easy, easy, Leon. What can you say to a stone headed man?"

Leon: "Don't spoil it for me. You know how important the party is, don't you?"

Clavis: "Haha, no doubt. Chevalier, as you can see, your brother is not happy. Why don't you give up this year?"

Chevalier: "Nonsense. I don't have time for unnecessary things."

Leon: "What's so unnecessary? You're not listening to what I'm saying."

(I knew you'd say that someday.)

I let the annoying nagging remarks pass without stopping to skim through the paperwork. **

The reason why Black started to mention "nonsense" other than politics is that,

It may be because I met Emma and the signs of changes appeared.

Leon: "A royal birthday party is a national event and part of the public service."

Leon: "It's basically your duty and obligation to organize it, unless you have special reasons like Licht and Luke."

Leon: "Especially now that you're our leader."

Leon: "It doesn't make sense that the 'face' of Rhodolite wouldn't throw a party, does it?"

Chevalier: "Would it harm the national interest if that party or whatever it is does not exist?"

Leon: "Yes."

Clavis: "Good. Leon is really on top of his game today."

Leon: "Don't be a fool, you should be part of the persuasion."

Clavis: "Hahaha, I got it."

(I'd like you to leave me alone.)

Leon: "Look, you're not a cruel and merciless beast anymore. There's a whole nation out there that wants to celebrate you." **

Leon: "Not accepting their wishes is damaging enough to the national interest, isn't it?"

Clavis: "Yes, yes."

(What are you trying to say...)

Leon: "Besides, your birthday will be celebrated by many ambassadors from other countries. It will be an important event in terms of diplomacy."

Clavis: "Tell him about it."

(... You have a point, but it's not necessary.)

Leon: "Besides, I've never celebrated your birthday. I've wondered about that for a while now."

Clavis: "You've grown up a good boy, Leon. Onii-chan is about to cry."

Chevalier: ". . ."

(... I'm not even interested in birthday wishes from you...)

More importantly, I am not interested in blessings other than Emma's, not just Black.

Leon: "All in all, we'll definitely throw you a birthday party this year, okay?"

Chevalier: "... That's not even worth discussing."

Chevalier: "To begin with, I'm busy on my birthday. I don't have time for unnecessary parties."

Clavis: "Don't tell such blatant lies. I'm the one who manages your schedule."

Clavis: "You have no appointments on your birthday."   //   "You have no plans for your birthday."

Chevalier: "I'm saying I have other things to do besides my official duties."

(Why should I party when I can spend my time on Emma.)

On my birthday, I am busy getting my birthday celebrations from Emma.

I had no intention of putting in an extra schedule unless there was a good reason to do so.

Leon: "... You."

Emma: "... If Chevalier-sama doesn't want us to have a party, I don't think we have to force ourselves to have a party."

Emma, who had been watching quietly until then, speaks up clearly.

Emma: "After all, it is his birthday... I thought we should give priority to Chevalier's wishes."

Leon: "Huh, I thought you were more in on the partying idea?"

Emma: "Of course, I'm sure the party sounds like fun."

Emma: "I know there are many of you who would like to celebrate Chevalier-sama."

Leon: "Right? You'd like to see the Chevalier celebrated, wouldn't you?"

Clavis: "Emma likes to party, right? Unlike someone else here."

Chevalier: ". . ."

(That being said, there is still room for consideration.)

Emma is probably more in the mood to throw a party, as Black says.

But on the other hand, there must be a genuine desire not to force them to do what they do not want.

(If so, I'll at least offer a compromise.)

(Although at the moment, there is no value in a November birthday party...)

(There is one way to find value in this.)

Chevalier: "... There are some conditions."

When I uttered those words, the air in the room shook in an understandable way.

Chevalier: "If you are going to throw a big party for me, Emma, you should be the host of it."

Emma: "What?"

Leon and Clavis: "Huh?"

It's different from a party for one's family. **

The royal party is a massive national affair.

The organization of such an event is a major role that cannot be filled by incompetent people.

Leon: "You don't know how big the royal party is, do you?"

Clavis: "I think you're pushing it a little too far, even if she is your fiancée."

Chevalier: "If it's not possible, then this conversation is over."

(You guys don't understand.)

Emma can do it. That is the calm evaluation I am making right now.

Emma: "I want to do it. Please let me do it!"

Emma's voice is cheerful, not distracted by Black's or Clavis's words.

(After all, you must come like that, right?)

It was the moment when a worthless party made sense for the first time.

══════════════════

Since that day, Emma has been busy organizing the birthday party day and night.

As expected, she seems to have an overcrowded and hectic schedule.

Some have expressed concern about the burden.

However, I don't intend to stop.

I have no intention of helping out in public.

Clavis: "Don't you have anything against your fiancée's efforts?"

--The first to object to such a situation was Clavis.

Chevalier: "What do you think?"

Clavis: "You bastard."

Chevalier: "You are also helping to some extent. I've factored that in."

Clavis: ". . ."

Chevalier: "After that."

???: "... Excuse me."

There is a shadow of a man with a footstep that gives no sign of his presence.

The long-haired man in the uniform of the Royal Guards is Lucian, a contracted spy.

Chevalier: "Any result?"

Lucian: "I figured they're gonna go straight out." **

Chevalier: "Make arrangements behind the scenes so they don't find out.

Lucian: "Roger that."

Clavis: "What are you talking about?"

Chevalier: "There will be a few unruly fools among the invited guests."

Chevalier: "The ones I'd like to deal with before I make contact with them."

Not everyone is willing to accept Emma's presence.

Sometimes there are people with whom one cannot communicate.

Those who let violence dictate their words instead of engaging in honest discussion,

I've been letting it go without much interest, but if Emma is going to make a public appearance, something needs to be done to 'clean up' the mess.

Clavis: "I see. No wonder Emma's hosting the event and there's no trouble."

Chevalier: "You didn't notice any risk factors, did you?"

Clavis: ". . ."

Easy to understand, his brow furrows. **

(They are good only at pretending to be a good group of people. It's not surprising...) **

Chevalier: "Give me a decent present once in a while."

Clavis: "Haha, you're being too brazen."

(Saying this will ease Emma's burden in some ways.)

The foolish brother should be elated.

It is a perfect piece for Emma to use. **

══════════════════

That night...

Chevalier: "Tired, aren't you?"

In the middle of the night, I visited Emma's room.

It was good to hear from others, but I wanted to see her in person to make sure she was in good health.

(Although that was the reason on the surface, in reality I just wanted to see her face...)

Emma: "... Just a little bit."

Chevalier: "And yet you refuse to stop."

Emma: "Because it's fun to think of ways to celebrate Chevalier-sama."

As one would expect, her eyes were bright and shining, though they were exhausted from the unfamiliar tasks she was being tasked with.

Needless to say, I was relieved.

(As always.)

I snort, get up, and pick Emma up.

Then, I rolled her delicate body onto the bed and lay down alongside her.

(Because if I don't do this, you won't sleep as long as I'm around.)

I brought my hand to her forehead, and Emma's eyes narrowed ticklishly.

Emma: "Thank you."

Chevalier: "Like I said before, don't waste time on my birthday."

(If it's not a more meaningful time than just the two of us, it's meaningless.)

(... If I've seen you working so hard, I don't think it was a waste of time, no matter what the outcome.)

Emma: "I will do my best to make sure that both Chevalier-sama and the guests think it was a great event."

Chevalier: ". . ."

Emma: "By the way... I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time, but do you have any plans for that day?"

(Oh, I didn't realize you hadn't noticed...)

Chevalier: "There are some, but they won't be a problem for the party."

Chevalier: "Don't worry about it."

It was hard to say, 'I'm busy getting Emma's blessing.'

Emma breathes a sigh of relief, perhaps reading something in my expression, and eventually closes her eyes.

Emma: "Chevalier-sama... On the day of your birthday, let me love you to the fullest."

Chevalier: ". . ."

Chevalier: "... Oh."

(After all, a birthday is a good thing.)

══════════════════

And then came November 1st.

Emma: "Happy birthday! Enjoy the party to your heart's content!"

Chevalier: "... Oh." // "... Thanks." **

The birthday party hosted by Emma turned out better than expected.

When a cruel and ruthless beast is in the party, people are often so afraid that they become extremely afraid that they don't even look at me.

This time, however, that was not the case, perhaps due to the personality of the host.

(...I didn't expect it to be so warm.)

(My concept of a party is about to change a bit.)

══════════════════

Emma: "Chevalier-sama… Let us celebrate from here, just the two of us."

After finishing everything, taking a bath and changing clothes, Emma finally said those words.

Despite the hectic schedule of the party, Emma also prepared a celebration as usual, which is typical of her.

Chevalier: "I'm not going to hold back when it comes to celebration, though, am I?"

Emma: "Yes. Please don't hold back."

(Did you just really say that?)

I beckon to her and Emma steps up with open arms.

I pulled her hand and laid her on the bed, and for the first time in a long time, our lips met.

(As expected, I've been holding back lately, but …my patience has its limits.)

I quickly remove my clothes and Emma obediently complies. **

Apparently, I am not the only one who has been holding back, and if I kiss her, she gets even with me in the same way.

(Oh, by the way, did she say, "Let me love you to the fullest."?)

I teased the tips of her breasts, with a faint scent of roses, as I accepted the kisses that entwined my tongue with hers.

I couldn't even imagine the dignified, host-like appearance he showed at the party.

It was hard to imagine from the dignified, yet very professional appearance of the hostess she showed at the party. **

Emma began to put on a glamorous air. **

Emma: "Haahh…"

The scent of the rose leaves a mark on me.

When my mouth is closed again, after having scattered petals to some extent on her bare skin, I am able to see her.

In between, a hoarse voice called my name.

Our lips parted and we broke the kiss and I looked down at Emma, who was lying on the bed naked. **

Emma: "This year, too, I made a cake for you."

Chevalier: "I know. You think I didn't notice that?"

I looked up and saw a plate covered with cloche.

It is placed hidden in the corner of the table, but it is impossible not to notice it.

(I know it must have been hard work, but how did you have time to make a cake?)

Emma: "Could you please eat it before your birthday is over?"

Chevalier: ". . ."

(Indeed... I'll have to eat it before my birthday is over, what a waste.)

I sit up and take off my shirt.

Then, I draped it over Emma's shoulders as she got up.

Emma: "Thank you."

Emma, with her arm through the sleeves, walks up to the cake with a brisk pace.

(...?) 

Emma: "You've got to be kidding."

I sneak up behind her, peek at the cake, and realize what it means.

Chevalier: "No forks, right?"

Emma: "I'll go get it–"

Chevalier: "You think I'm going to let you go dressed like that?"

(I don't think you need to look like you're in despair because you don't have a fork.)

I suppressed a laugh that threatened to burst out at the expression on her face, and picked Emma up in my arms.

Perhaps because of the surprise, Emma's thin fingertips end up with cake on them.

When I saw that, a bad idea crossed my mind.

Chevalier: "I can at least have my cake even if I don't have a fork."

Emma: "But I cannot let you bite down on it…"

Chevalier: "I have both hands full, but you have one hand free, right?"

Emma rolls her eyes as if she got my point.

Chevalier: "Is there a problem?"

Emma: "Nothing…"

(I'm not a well behaved person.)

Emma's cake-covered fingertips are offered to my mouth.

I licked it, which smelled and tasted sweet and mild, as usual. **

I'd say it's more like your birthday than my birthday party. **

(So that's how familiar the cake is with your body.)

Emma: "How do you like it?"

Chevalier: "You're getting better at it."

Emma: "Thanks to Chevalier-sama."

Emma's joyful face was sweeter than the cake.

Emma: "Once again, happy birthday."

Emma: "I hope you are satisfied with today's party."

Chevalier: "It was worth it."

Chevalier: "You're good enough now to host a big party. It gives you confidence, doesn't it?"

Emma: "No way... Was that your purpose?"

Chevalier: ". . ."

'Confidence' is essential if she is to continue to live as a woman of royalty.

Only when Emma herself is convinced, only when she has achieved so much that those around her have nothing to say, only when she has been recognized, and only when she has been accepted by those around her, Emma herself must be happy with the results. **

You can keep it by your side for the rest of your life without hesitation. **

(There's no better birthday present than this.)

Emma: "The affection of Chevalier-sama... It seems to be getting deeper and deeper every year."

Chevalier: "I think my way of affection is a little rough. But you will accept it, won't you?"

Emma: "I've said it over and over again, but I love you."

With an innocent smile that has no hidden meaning, Emma kisses my forehead.

I could directly feel her 'I love you'.

(... I was thinking I'd have my cake first.)

I took the plate from Emma and put it on a nearby table.

Then, I rolled her body back onto the bed again, where the scent of her body still lingered. **

Chevalier: "I changed my mind."

Chevalier: "After all, you come first before the cake."

It's not logical. It's just a feeling.

Not resisting the urge, I captured Emma's lips.

Chevalier: "Unfortunately, I prefer to tell people what to do by instinct rather than by words. Give up the straight up way of being loved."

(The party was satisfying. We could do it again next year.)

(But it would be a shame to cut this time off.)

It has become more of what I wish for on my worthless and meaningless birthday, but I guess that is also what I can call love.

(Next year... I'm going to be busier than ever.)

[sylenth-l]

*slides in* Hi! First of all: I love your art forever and ever it is so beautiful and gorgeous to me. It's my favourite ever. Also, inspired by your recent posts of Fel carrying Osiris, I was thinking... How about drawing a pietà scene with them? Or maybe with Red and Fel, that would be more thematically correct for a pietà.

ALSO also: I remember quite a while ago, you posted drawing of our favourite Hunters as hunters from Bloodborne (and what amazing pictures they are!!! I drooled over them for hours I swear) and you wondered in the tags how Exos would even work in a setting like that? I forget your exact wording but whatever. I present to you: the concept of steampunk Exos! Steam powered, even. Bloodborne is seemingly based on Victorian England, so it could work! Possibly. Maybe. If they can do weird blood magic they can do steampunk Exos :)

Anyway! Thank you for continuing to show us your beautiful art and I hope you have a nice day 💖

Aah, thank you!! 🥺💙

Well that's an interesting idea, I'm writing it odwn! I sometimes think about doing homages of some artworks, but I always feel like... it's too much responsibility maybe?.. I feel like I have to make it look absolutely flawless and that's utterly impossible, so I'm scared to even try and mostly just rotate all the ideas in my head, lol. For example, with Red and Fel I was thinking about redrawing Repin's "Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan", since it's. well, pretty much exactly what happened akjsdhfkj (It's an extremely famous painting in Russia, portraying tsar Ivan the Terrible, who accidentally killed his own son in a fit of anger and got absolutely devastated once he realized what he's done. Tbh it's so well-fitting that I've always wondered if it was an intentional reference to that story from Bungie. Most likely no, but still! Very on point.)

There's one painting though, which I think I can actually make a homage of... Mostly because I wanted to draw something like that with Felwinter myself, so when I've seen that painting I was like whoa! That's it!! But I won't say which one it is, he-he... Hopefully I'll get it done soon

About the Exos - oh yes!!! That's possible! Actually, I've finally got my hands on "Lies of P" recently (and I freaking love that game already), and it has something similar going on there. At least, I think so; there's still some ~magic~ included from what I got so far. But I'm still at the beginning, so! Will see later! Very curious about how puppets work there in general and how there's such a... drastic gap in quality between P himself and everyone else.

(Please don't tell me anything about it though, I want to dig into everything myself)

Have a nice day too!!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for not wanting to meet my kids?

I [41F] have had amnesia for the past decade. The incident that made me lose my memories also made me blind.

I have recently had surgery to return my sight, and with it, I have had some memories start to return, particularly memories about my family, ex-husbands (both now deceased), and my kids.

Part of me really wants to meet my kids, A [22M] and T [15F]. I thought A was dead from the same incident that killed his father when he was 2, and I haven’t seen T since I got amnesia when she was 5, of course I want to re-meet them!

… But also, they have lives without me now. I actually got to meet them before I regained my memories, so I didn’t know I was their mother, and they are both doing so well. A just started in his career and is doing very well, and T absolutely loves her adoptive father [P, 33M]. Plus, A works for P, and from what I’ve experienced A and T act like siblings, despite them not knowing they’re related.

I want to be a part of their lives, but I don’t want them to derail their lives and feel like we have to be close because I’m their mother. I mean, I last saw them when they were 2 and 5: they grew up without a mother, and I don’t want to turn their lives upside down.

I especially feel bad for P. He’s the one who figured out A and T were siblings and encouraged me to get my sight restored. He and my kids had a rough patch with lies and secrets, and I hate that I’m asking him to keep another secret, but I’m not ready yet.

So, AITA for not wanting to re-meet my kids?

[onilorian]

The Secret Double

Gojo Satoru x F!Reader

Chapter 4 💋

<Chapter 3>

<Chapter 5>

Masterlist

18+ ONLY. MDNI.

Warnings:

Smut

Fingering

More choking

P in V

Even more possessive Gojo <3

When you woke up again you felt the embrace of a warm body. You barely opened your eyes to see it was morning, and also to see your head was against the naked chest of a man.

Gojo.

Your eyes shot open wider as your body froze, remembering everything that happened last night caused your breathing to hitch.

You stayed still for a moment, listening to Gojo's steady breathing. You melted into him a little and smiled.

This was a moment you longed for years and now you finally had it. Your only problem was now that other girl.

A spark of jealousy filled your chest. What would he do with her behind closed doors? Did he have sex with her? Or was it only to the extend of words? Maybe a few touches?

You wanted so badly to know. The urge to murder her now was filling your mind. You didn't want Gojo to feel that way towards anyone else other than you.

Maybe you could end it today. Use that persona you'd recently created to end that poser in the cells.

You stayed still for a moment longer, and after deciphering that Gojo was still asleep you slowly sat up and carefully made your way to the edge of the bed.

Little did you know, Gojo had just woken up and he turned his head slightly. He looked at you trying to quietly sneak away and he smiled.

His smile quickly disappeared when he noticed the wound on your side again. "Where ya goin?" He finally spoke up and lazily reached his arm over where he grabbed your wrist. His grip was loose and his morning voice sent shivers down your spine.

"Work.." You said as you slightly turned your head to look at him out of the corner of your eye.

"Hmmm work can wait. Stay with me." He mumbled as he held out his other hand. It felt as if he were tugging at your heart strings and you caved in.

You crawled back to Gojo where he smiled, his bright blue eyes just barely peeking out from behind his nearly shut eyelids.

He cupped your face and brought your face closer to his. But you stopped and slightly pulled away. "I haven't brushed my teeth yet." You said and his hand moved from the side of your face to the back of your neck.

"I don't care." He said as he pulled you in. His lips moved perfectly against yours in a slow and passionate kiss.

As he was kissing you he moved your body so you'd lay on top of him. You were disappointed when you both had stopped for some air.

Gojo trailed his hands on your body, from the bottom of your bosom, to your hips, on your sides where he'd even skimmed past your injury, and up your arms.

"What happened?" He asked as he reached for your side again and tapped just above your injury. "Just from a recent job." You lied and Gojo's eyebrows furrowed, "Did Geto-" He began but you shook your head. "Geto has helped me out a lot recently." You said and Gojo rolled his eyes.

"Geto helps no one but himself. If he ever hurts even a single hair on your head I'll-" He began but you placed a hand over his mouth as you laughed a little. "He won't. And you know, he helped me out by giving me some advice. That's how I'm here with you now. So if anything, Geto helped me get together with you." You admitted as you removed your hand from his mouth.

Gojo didn't seem very amused by this knowledge and so he simply sighed, "What was his payment then?" Gojo asked and you grinned, "To annoy you."

Gojo scoffed, clearly irked at this point and you tilted your head and began to kiss his jawline. "Hmm don't be too upset now, he got what he wanted, he's done now." You said and Gojo used a finger to lift up your chin. "And you're not going to work with him anymore. Understand?" He said and you smiled as you shrugged.

Gojo suddenly flipped you over and gently wrapped his fingers around your neck. "Do you understand?" He asked through gritted teeth and you nodded profusely. His grip on your neck slightly tightened, but you could still breathe just fine.

"Use your words, princess." He said as his face lowered and neared your own. "I understand." You said and Gojo smiled. "Good girl." He praised before pressing his lips against yours.

This time the kiss was much more heated compared to earlier. Gojo moved from your mouth, to your jaw, and onto your neck where he left a few marks.

His hands found your tits where he rolled the hardened buds between his index finger and his thumb.

"Ngh- Gojo~" You moaned softly into his ear. This action brought chills all over his body, his member completely hard at this point.

His left hand reached down to your folds where he ran a finger though them and smirked. "I've just started to touch you and your dripping wet." He murmured and your face reddened.

Gojo then slipped two fingers into your hole and you moaned softly. He pumped slowly and you brought your hands to the sides of his face and pulled him in.

He hungrily kissed you as he pumped his fingers in and out, stretching you out every time he inserted his fingers.

You moaned into his mouth, and you could feel his smile at your sounds of pleasure.

You reached down and stroked his cock with your hand. He grunted into your mouth as his hips involuntarily bucked.

When Gojo pulled away for air you whispered, "Put it in me, please."

Gojo wasted no time as he removed his fingers and lined himself up with your hole. Gojo slid in his hardened cock and tilted his head back, giving you a good view of all of his contracting muscles on his body.

"Haaaa... Oh Y/N. I think you were made for me." He moaned out as his cock twitched inside you. Gojo began to move at a slow and steady pace as he lifted your thighs up and held the back of them.

He turned his head and kissed your left calf, even nibbling on it a little. "Mmmh- Gojo." You moaned out beneath him and he smiled down at you, his blue eyes gleaming as he did so.

He began to move faster, and your fists gripped the sheets tighter. Gojo angled his hips a little and suddenly you were seeing stars as he hit that perfect spot inside you.

You gasped as your eyes widened and he quickened his pace at your reaction. "F-Fuck! I'm gonna cum!" You exclaimed as he fucked you mercilessly.

"Go ahead then." He tilted his head up a little, a devilish smile on his face. "Ngh- Gojo~" You moaned loudly as your walls tightened.

Gojo grunted as his pace became sloppy, you came in an instant and Gojo was about to pull out but you wrapped your legs around him quickly, he came deep within you and his eyes widened as he looked up at you.

Through heavy breaths you muttered, "I'm safe." and Gojo was instantly relieved. "You didn't tell me that last night." Gojo said, he leaned over and planted a kiss on your lips as he pulled out.

"Didn't have time." You smiled up at him. "Stay here." He ordered before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom.

After cleaning up, Gojo gave you a shirt and sweatpants. You looked down to see how baggy they were. "I'll have to go home and grab a change of clothes." You said before looking up at Gojo who only had a pair of sweatpants on.

He slid you a cup of coffee and you thanked him before taking a sip. "Why not just stay here with me for the day?" Gojo asked and you smiled as you laughed a little. "Cm'on, there's so many places we could have-"

You placed a finger over his lips and shook your head. "Don't tempt me." You said and he smiled as he kissed your finger which you then withdrew.

"Well fine. But you're coming over tonight, yeah?" He asked and you shrugged. "Might have to convice me." You suggested and he chuckled a little. "Oh yeah? How about my peni-" He started but you stopped him once more as you stood up and walked away. "W-Wait I was joking!" He said as he moved around the counter and followed you.

"Sure you were." You retorted as you looked out the window. "My driver is here. I'll see you at the office in awhile, I still have a few emails to reply to and I'm sure you'll be distracting me at work all day." You said with a knowing smile.

Gojo pouted and you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry I'll be there." You said and he nodded, still pouting even after your reassurance.

After you left you got into the back seat of the nice vehicle. "Are my things in here?" You asked and the driver turned around with a smile.

"Sure are." He winked at you and you rolled your eyes. "Enough with that, Geto. Let's just get to the building quick so I can go kill that bitch." You murmured and Geto laughed, "Quite jealous aren't we?" He asked and you huffed, "Doesn't matter, she'll be gone soon. Now close the privacy screen so I can change." You ordered and he closed it before driving off.

You got dressed into your heavy black armor and put on the black plague doctors mask. You ensured the voice modulator was on before knocking on the window.

"Does this look good?" You ask, the deepened voice from the modulator making Geto jump a little. "Jesus, yes, it's fine. You said the side of the building, yeah?" He asked and you shook your head. "Close to but not exactly, I don't want the cameras picking up the car you drop me off in." You said and Geto sighed. "You're going to give me that wine that you said Gojo has for my extra time here today." Geto said and you rolled your eyes. "Sure, fine." You muttered.

The car came to a stop and you quickly got out, grabbing your bag and rushing to the side of the building.

Now it was time to commence the final part of this whole ordeal.

[TAGLIST: OPEN

@bb-sg @ritsatoru @ekaterinatepes ]