#also i've learned the hard way i CAN draw weapons i will just take any excuse not to flesh out complex geometric shapes

[mercer-safehouse]

-rolls self around like a katamari on pandora collecting survival skills and weapon expertise and cool powers and deep sorrow and trauma-

I wanted to nail down some Looks and decided to keep both the original design and the more recent one...and have them be the same self insert years apart 8)

i’ve forgotten a lot of details but i’ve been remembering some of the stuff i planned, like the siren powers being mainly healing with some telekinesis, and my build would start with pistols then move to sniper rifles. i like elemental weapons so i probably lean maliwan??

[acourtofthought]

"Elain handled the darkness of the Cauldron therefore she can handle Azriel's darkness."

Elain handled the Cauldron because she's brave and has strength of character. Using that to try to prove that she'd be fine with Azriel's cruelty darkness is so far off the mark it's wild.

Feyre, married to the High Lord of the NC - a HL who who misted people at Amarantha’s behest, who stole from someone he would have liked to have as a friend, who shamed Feyre and called her human trash (all in order to protect her and Velaris), when she herself brought down an entire court filled with innocent people to take out her revenge on Tamlin, even struggled around Az at first.

Currently struggles with Az's actions:

The author herself said she'd be scared of Az:

She wrote Rhys saying Az's stare sometimes scares the shit out of him.

Azriel created a symphony of pain for his victims, he's not being forced into taking things to that sort of extreme. That's not someone just doing what they have to do, that's someone taking things well beyond necessity.

Yet somehow Elain, who in the authors own words has a different sort of strength than the sisters who belong in the NC, who is gentle and kind and is bothered by cruelty would be the one who would fully embrace Azriel's darkness?

Elain who begged Feyre not to hurt Graysen, tried to get her to swear to leave Graysen unharmed? That Elain would be fine seeing what Az does to unarmed prisoners?

This Elain?

This Elain?

There is a HUGE difference between bravery and saving someone from death versus someone who methodically carries out torture and defaults to it as their go to method of handling enemies.

Elain used TT to stop the King from harming her loved one. Az uses TT to carve people up and draw out their suffering. They are NOT the same.

In SF, the author drew attention to the fact that Nesta, not Feyre or Elain, was the Archeron to see Az:

I also saw this person claiming that if Elain can handle Lucien's "darkness", she can handle Az's, that Lucien is a loose canon compared to Az.

Lucien:

Az:

It's true, Az barely says much at all but it's not because he's more controlled than Lucien, it's because he's always on a razors edge of losing his temper and rarely opens up about himself to anyone which is proven in the text.

I've hit my limit in added images but there are multiple examples of Lucien reigning in his words and temper.

Does Lucien at times snark at others? Definitely and that's why he's the best. But to say he's the loose canon is a joke.

There's zero shame in loving Az, to get a thrill from his darkness and rage, but if someone truly thinks Lucien and Az are written similarly than I have to say they don't truly understand how Sarah has written these characters at all.

And to those who say if Elain can't handle Az's darkness than neither can Gwyn..... These are the same people who claim she's so forgettable they barely remembered her in SF yet now they're claiming they know what she can and can't handle. When you get down to it Gwyn is a new character and that means Sarah can further develop her personality any way she wants in the next books compared to the many books and interviews telling us who Elain is.

Considering Gwyn already said this, however:

“Did you know shields weighed so much? I certainly didn’t. No wonder the Valkyries learned to use them as weapons as deadly as their swords.” She sighed. “They’d have been quite a sight in battle: cracking open enemy skulls with blows from their shields, throwing them to knock an opponent onto their backs before skewering them …” She rubbed her shoulder again. “Their arm muscles must have been as hard as steel.”

I don't think she'll have any trouble with Az's brutality at all.

[redgoldsparks]

July reading and reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Practical Anarchism: A Guide For Daily Life by Shuli Branson 

I picked this up after listening to the author's excellent interview on Gender Reveal. I'd never read an explanation of anarchy before and found this one accessible, intersectional, and rich with references to follow up on. Branson's basic argument is for recognizing that the state exists only to perpetuate its own power, and aids citizens only incidentally and when doing so doesn't conflict with maintaining control. In light of this, citizens should seek to gain as much freedom in daily life as they can by supporting community and mutual aid, by refusing hustle culture and separating self-worth from productivity, by spending as much time as they can on things that bring pleasure, joy, peace, and stealing from corporate workplaces among other things. Many sections of this book I found myself simply agreeing with, while other chapters (especially the sections on Work and Art) really challenged a lot of my internalized beliefs. I'm very glad I read this and imagine I will return to it in the future, especially when I'm able to read more on this topic.

How I Attended An All-Guy’s Mixer vols 1-6 by Nana Aokawa (fan translated) 

College students Tokiwa, Asagi, and Hagi are invited to a mixer with some college girls, but when they arrive they are greeted by three handsome boys at their reserved table. It turns out the girls they planned to meet at all work at a cross-dressing bar! Suo is a devastatingly charming and confident prince; Kohaku has a prickly exterior but a soft, shy interior; and Fuji draws smutty fan comics in her free time and is constantly on the lookout for new models. This goofy premise turns into a very sweet and funny slice of life comic as three couples with very different dynamics begin to develop. Sadly, I cannot find these books available in English so I am reading them at a sketchy online site, lol. I hope they get translated at some point because I've been completely sucked in and read four volumes in like 24 hours :3

Barda by Ngozi Ukazu

Barda is the captain of a soldier unit from a torture/hell world called Apokolips. Her backstory includes being kidnapped as a child and tortured into serving as the perfect weapon in a very black and white interplanetary war. Her torturer is an old woman named Granny Goodness. They work for a classic evil emperor named Darkseid, who has the son of his major enemy locked in his dungeons. At the beginning of the book, Barda is told to investigate how this guy, named Scott Free, keeps managing to almost escape. This is challenging material to make something out of. It feels so ridiculous, so campy, so over the top, I had a hard time taking the premise seriously- especially as this torture world has to obey PG-13 movie rules about not showing any blood or actual human mutilation. All that being said, I think Ukazu wrote about the best modern take as you possible could with these characters. The writing is quippy, smart, empathetic; I enjoyed the page layouts, color palette choices, and the emotional arc she takes Big Barda on through the book, even though I wanted it to go a little farther at the end.

We Deserve Monuments by Jas Hammonds

Avery is a queer biracial teen, uprooted from her DC home just before senior year of high school by a family emergency which relocates her and her parents to Bardell, Georgia. Avery's grandmother, Mama Letty, has cancer and the prognosis isn't good. Avery is also fresh from a breakup with her first ever girlfriend. Her early years of high school were ruined by Covid, and she doesn't want to waste her last year as well in a back-woods town. But despite herself, Avery is drawn towards the people of Bardell and the ways she learns their histories tangle with her own. There's Carol, the woman next door, who was Avery's mom's best friend in high school but who know barely speaks to her. There's Carol's daughter, Simone, whose colorful locs catch Avery's eyes immediately. There's Jade, Simone's best friend at school whose family is linked to more than one tragedy in the town's history. And there's Mama Letty herself, who Avery wants to get to know, but time is running out. I read this book in just under a week while on vacation and really enjoyed it! It felt refreshingly grounded and real after some of the YA I've tried and DNFed recently.

Yotsuba vol 10 by Kiyohiko Azuma

Utterly charmed by the entire chapter that's just Yotsuba learning how to cook pancakes. What a good reminder that fine motor control is a learned skill! I also liked how Yotsuba's dad handled a lie about some broken dishes. This is such a great series.

Sunhead by Alex Assan 

In Tel Aviv, teenage Rotem spends her free time hanging out with friends and obsessively re-reading her favorite book, Sunrise, a vampire romance. She doesn't know anyone else into the series and has to wait for the next book to come out in Hebrew. But she does meet another reader, Ayala, who sits out of gym class every single week, sometimes with a Jane Austin novel. Rotem lends Ayala the vampire book and suddenly she has a fandom friend. This book very delicately, and at times wordlessly, explores the way a fictional story can act as a lens for teen questioning of gender and sexuality. The book feels almost memoir like with its groundedness in very real teen emotions and relative lack of external conflict. It's a simple story but beautifully illustrated and relatable.

Witch Hat Atelier vol 12 by Kamome Shirahama

This is an action packed volume that sticks more closely to Coco, which is what I want out of the series. I'm still frustrated by the overload of new characters who I'm struggling to keep tract of. But the art is so stunning I'll probably keep reading.

Otonari Complex vol 1 by Saku Nonomura (fan translated)

Akira is a tall tomboy who befriended a shorter, prettier boy named Makoto in elementary school. In college, they are still inseparable, and many people mistake them for a straight couple- though usually they think Akira is the boy and Makoto the girl. Makoto only adds to this confusion by frequently cross-dressing. I enjoyed the friendship and gender mix-ups, but I don't love how every single secondary character either wants to date one of the two leads, or whats to separate the two leads because their close friendship might prevent them from dating in the future. Get out of their business, randos! They are clearly on a very slow friends to lovers arc, leave them alone to figure out their shit.

Lavender House by Lev AC Rosen read by Vikras Adam 

At the start of this book, in 1959, Andy Mills is at rock bottom. The former San Francisco cop was fired after being discovered in flagrante with another man at a gay bar. He is seriously considering suicide because he can't see any other options. Then a well dressed older woman, Pearl, sweeps into his life and asks him to solve a weeks old murder that occurred on her private Marin estate. Pearl is a lesbian and widow; her wife was the owner of a well known floral soap company and she died under mysterious circumstances. Pearl was unable to call in the police at the time because nearly everyone who lives on the soap flower farm estate is queer. A small group of biological and found family has made a safe, gated community for themselves- safe, that is, until one woman fell to her death from a second floor balcony. Andy isn't too hopeful about solving a case with little to no evidence, but he gives it a try, and he is blown away by seeing multiple queer couples living opening together in the same household. This was a solid story, though it didn't have that magic spark that sometimes captures me in murder mysteries. I was all ready to say I probably wouldn't continue the series, and then a 15 minute sample of the second book played after the end of the first in the audiobook. The second one already sounds MUCH more fascinating than the first, in part because Andy starts the sequel in touch with an intriguing queer community and setting up a new PI business. So I might try the next book after all!

Mabel McKay: Weaving the Dream by Greg Sarris 

A wonderful, lively memoir of Pomo basket weaver and medicine woman Mabel McKay, as written by Greg Sarris, who knew her for most of his life until she passed in the early 1990s. Sarris is currently the chairman of the Federated Indians of Graton Rancheria based in Sonoma County which serves the local Pomo and Miwok populations. Sarris is very much also a character in this story, which lays out many conversations had on long car rides up and down the California coast, while Sarris drove McKay to give talks at universities and museums or to visit her relatives. The story is non chronological but still immersive, telling of McKay's childhood, her early years doctoring and making baskets, and her life-changing friendship with Essie Parrish, another basket weaver and important figure in Sonoma county. I'd highly recommend this book, especially to anyone interested in West Coast history, and very especially if you grew up in California.

[flowersandbigteeth]

Hiiii 😭New in blog!

Do you have any tips/source in writing orcs?

Bc planning to do some bc got the spark your fics an inspiration 😩😩🙌

Halllooo! Welcome! 🥰 I started answering this question and it got so long 😭 I could honestly write an essay on this, there's so much to think about. So my candid thoughts are below 👇🏽

As far as pop culture goes: I generally like Durotan in the warcraft movie as my favorite Orc "look". I'm not too inspired by Tolkien's Orcs personally, but technically the DnD Orcs are based on that description. I started out basing my Orcs and half Orcs on the DnD races and elder scrolls online (orsimer are an orc like race) and then it grew into developing my own lore.

The DnD community is great because there are a lot of OCs to consider for reference and spin off games and lore, though (not saying you would, just for those who need to be reminded) you shouldn't steal other people's OCs. You can browse OCs on toyhouse and Pinterest, as well. Warhammer, Magic, and Warframe also have orc type characters to look at for character design ideas. Tolkien originally developed his Orcs from old English monsters, so that would be an interesting rabbit hole to jump down for inspiration.

Aside from the aesthetics there is a big pitfall to look out for when writing Orcs specifically:

Orcs started out as a villain race, but I find that extremely reductive. Orcs deserve culture, art, motives, and a spectrum of personalities. Tolkien's Orcs have been criticized as well as DnD rules about Orcs. I'm not going to do a deep dive into that because there is a lot to parse through. You can look it up if it interests you. There is far, far more discussion on it than I'm going to get into right now.

But my ultra, ultra simplified take away from what I've read is it's important to acknowledge the personhood of any character you write. And that's true for any writing really. Not to say you can't write an orc as a villain, but, for example, there is difference between writing a mindless killing machine and a villain with a personality, motive, strengths and weaknesses, and backstory if that makes sense.

If they are a mindless killing machine, there should be a reason other than Orc=bad. What happened to them to make them that way? Is there a societal expectation that they are trying to live up to? Do they have an internal struggle about it or do they feel justified for their violence? Are they under a spell or brainwashed? Why is that?

Villains are tricky because you want a satisfying ending, the villain may be complex, but they have to reach a point of no return where the hero has to act. So what was it that sent them off the edge? Vanity? Greed? Revenge? Etc.

Separate from Orcs it is a good way to look at all monster writing. As the counterpart to "born sexy yesterday" I think "born evil yesterday" is also kinda blah.

I'm not at all going to say I am great at this, it's often hard to create full, complex characters in short fiction but it's something to strive for. I'm sure I have characters on this blog I could have developed better, but I try to keep it in the back of my mind the more I learn about writing.

It's the same for an Orc hero. Orcs aren't dumb, malleable studs. I personally like expanding on Orcs canon skills (strength, loyalty, stamina, leadership) and flesh them out. Saber is strong, but he's also nimble and charming. Reven is big and can be scary, but is skilled in style and fashion, as well as being steadfast and loyal. Cedar is a warrior but studious and kind. Golmad loves weapons and is a leader but also gentle and good humored.

For visual ideas, I look at a lot of different styles and cultures, but it usually has a lot to do with the environment. I like to look at ye olde hairstyle and clothing ideas relevant to the place the Orcs are from, if that makes sense? Like if they lived in the artic you'd look for cultures that live in cold weather and draw inspiration from the materials they would have at hand for processing, sewing, and decorating.

In general, I tend to lean on more traditional depictions of mountain Orcs, but jazzed up? I don't like ripped, careless dirty rags, but clean, utilitarian and neatly cut leather and furs, as they are big hunters there rather than farmers. If they live in a village or town they'd wear whatever is in fashion, cotton or linen. Where are they from, their social class, and what types of clothes would be best for that environment are good questions to ask when developing costumes, next their personality. Whether they are vain, utilitarian, or cocky and like to roll around with their shirt off. 😸 I think keeping the environment and personality at the forefront of your mind, you won't fall into cliche traps. There's nothing wrong with having dirty ripped clothes but if it doesn't make any sense in the context of the world you're building it flattens the character. The assumption that Orcs are filthy or unskilled at tailoring by nature doesn't work for me.

Idk without going on too long, I hope some of that helps?

[eshbaal]

Character Sketching Basics (for total beginners)

I've never really made art tutorials, but I do actually semi-routinely teach digital art classes to local kids in my area. As a result of this, I have also now signed up for a volunteer character sketching workshop for such kids that I am hosting tomorrow.

I figured that since I will have 15 kids there and I can't possibly introduce them to the base concepts one by one, I should make some easy to understand slides that try and teach them the basic thoughts that go behind a good character sketch. Aaaand I figured I would share them here. They are in danish, but I will translate underneath each pic. And before any other of the amazing artists on here start pointing out that this is possibly a bit too simplsitic to be a "proper" tutorial - the workshop is for the 11-14 crowd that may have never heard these things before. That's why it's kept as completely simple as possible. Anyway, here we go:

When we draw characters, we usually talk about three pimary stages - Sketch, Inking and Colors/Shading. That's a lot of stuff to learn, but we'll focus on sketching for today, alright?

A good way to learn how to draw characters is by learning to understand two great tools - the STICK FIGURE and the BASIC SHAPES.

The Stick Figure helps you understand what a body looks like and how it fits together (anatomy), and makes it easier to portray a body in motion. (This also goes for nonhuman creatures - consider the stick figure their "skeleton")

Once you have your skeleton, you can use basic shapes (triangles, squares and circles of all kinds) to build the rest of the body. Your choice of shapes and their sizes can make a massive difference! Notice, how blocky Superman looks compared to the skinny Anne here, even though their skeletons are built basically the same way.

You can also use basic shapes to create some really unique characters, and maybe even tell us something about their personality at the same time. This is called "shape language". Take a look at how some famous characters use very simple shapes. The always friendly and happy Mickey Mouse is round and friendly-looking. With just three circles, he became famous worldwide. The skinny, refined Pearl's body consists primarilly of triangles and long circles - this works really well for a dancer, who is also a bit of a perfectionist. She even carries a spear, which is a pointy weapon that really needs the one wielding it to be precise! Almost every character in "Phineas and Ferb" consists of simple shapes that make them easy to recognize. Phineas and Ferbs' heads consist of just a big triangle and two squares respectively. And with Isabelle and Candace, you can even spot a couple of half-circles!

If you learn how to see these shapes and where they are hiding, you can learn to draw almost any character you can imagine - even the ones that look super difficult and complicated. Shredder here looks almost impossible to draw, but even he has a lot of squares and triangles you can find if you look close enough - and if you drew a solid enough skeleton to start with, so you can tell where certain things are supposed to go on his body. You also use these techniques to draw harder parts of the body, such as hands. It's really difficult, but it'll come to you with practice.

Okay - let's use what we've learned! Pick a character or make something up yourself. Figure out the characters' skeleton. Go ahead and draw them in a different pose, if you want and if you feel you can. Find and add the characters' basic shapes and add them on top of the skeleton to make a body. Add details and start erasing the lines you no longer need.

A FEW LAST PIECES OF ADVICE - Draw softly and loosely. It's hard to erase your lines if you pressed down hard on your paper. - Try not to choose a character that's too complicated to start with. We all gotta start somewhere. - Don't worry about your sketch looking a little messy. After all, it's just a sketch. All it needs to be is a good starting point for when you ink it later. - Your sketch does NOT need to look 100% like the original. The important part is that you can spot how their bodies are constructed, and find all their most important traits. - If there's a part you are having a hard time drawing, take a break and work on something else. Sometimes your brain just needs a little break. - Ask for help! That's why I'm here! - Remember to take breaks now and then. It's good for your hands and for your backs. ----

Soooo yeah. That's my tutorial for ABSOLUTE beginner kids. I hope this will land well tomorrow.

[psshaw]

Got some interesting anons while I was hiking on vaycay. I've been thinking about how to answer these for awhile.

Content warn for detransitioner coping. Also me rambling at varying levels of tact. Obvs I'd appreciate any trans or detrans people who have something to correct or add to help this person.

Hi. So. 2 things you’re doing here that I think both cis and trans people mess up at all the time, especially when they're stressed.

One: Listening to other people more than yourself. Two: Looking for other things to blame in a way that stops you from learning from your own choices.

I think I understand some of what you experienced, but the conclusions you’re drawing feel distorted and self-serving. It feels like you jumped from one prescriptive view (girls have to be boys in order to like certain things or talk to certain people) to another prescriptive view (masculinity is something you have to earn and perform in a certain way).

Anyone who critiques what you do or how you present yourself for not fitting a certain term has more in common with a 50s martini dad than they do with a walk-the-walk humanitarian. Personally, I am not interested in defining masculinity (or femininity, which I notice you didn’t claim to also have prereqs for)— I know some soft-ass bitch men who are still men. Standards for gender are arbitrary location- and time-specific rules. They’re also weapons we use to fuck with each other. Imo calling someone un-[gender] is kinda like telling a western teen with an ED that they’re not skinny enough: it's not helping anyone's health or peace of mind. The only point is to feel superior somehow.

I don’t see a point in setting hurdles for gender expression when I can instead worry about demanding unisex reasonable and rational interpersonal behavior.

(I also just find gender extremely boring. I was not raised to care much about who's doing what as what. Gender should matter in sociology, pronouns, fucking, and... that's probably it. Focusing on whether someone is performing something correctly or whether you should buy an enamel pin that says "spacegender" on it are both addictive navel-gazing activities that could be replaced with more demonstrative self-actualizing like making art, joining a hobby/activism community, or reading something you normally wouldn't.)

I don’t think I need to tell you that taking hormones in order to make friends is a very strange thing to do, no matter how young or lonely you are. I think you should check in with yourself ASAP to figure out why you sought out voluntary medical assistance to impress other people. (People who you assumed would only talk to you if you were trans…? So, possibly bad people.) This would never have occurred to me. (I am scared of needles.) This sounds like a tendency that will kick your ass more than just this once.

The nice thing about people is that you can walk away from one and find a better fit. If you're a weird chick, I hope you take pride in being a weird chick. I hope you make yourself hard to replace or replicate. I hope you learn to love unnerving or impressing people as you flip through them looking for the ones who "get" your wavelength. I would personally rather have no friends than to try to please someone who doesn't like who I actually am. That sounds exhausting.

If someone actually told you you can't use "she" pronouns while taking T, that person's a dorky little snot. "Uhhh, the Gender Bible says this is a violation of the Gender Commandments... I'm telling Gender God"— big deal. Gender Spankings and Gender Hell only exist if you believe in them. Fuck the system.

But yeah— you tried something, it was a mistake, and now you have to navigate life with it, like an impulse tattoo or juvenile leg-lengthening surgery. You are not a “mutant”, you just slid around the human secondary sex characteristics scale. My condolences on the beard and stuff. I think the best you can do now is to find a way to embrace it and let it make you an extra quirky gal. You have a dark past now! That means experience! You can use this flub to make yourself into a cooler, smarter person that future kids can admire and learn from, not someone obnoxiously bitter who they won’t even wanna talk to.

The way you describe your experiences/projections, I assume you were born after 9/11. The millennial trans people I talk to don’t talk about gender the way you’re describing. They grew up in the “no homo” and “I’m not like other girls” era, and I think it made most of them pretty "none of my business" about how people present overall. They just wanna be able to go out and be respected and loved.

I’ve noticed that Zoomers have perfected identity-based consumerism and putting yourselves(?) in boxes. I have traced a vague progression: GNC/queer people existing forever while being maligned -> “no homo” shit -> Tumblr wave feminism -> greater LGBT acceptance leading to freer expression (but still mainly via buying clothes and makeup) -> more people realizing you can fuck with gender and see if it solves your problems -> genderfuckery becoming a half-joking recommendation (I've experienced this directly) -> half-joking rehashes of gender essentialism without realizing it -> The Present, where I’m watching the early 20-somethings I know fret every few months about what gender/sexuality/mental health labels they should use, as if there’s going to be a quiz at the gates of Heaven.

Obviously I don’t get that last half. Part of that is because I’m cishet, and I’ve checked in with myself enough to know that there’s no other label that will solve any of my problems. I know that every time I acknowledge an autism semi-diagnosis, it makes me content with my flaws instead of trying to fix them. I would much rather be on thin ice and have to be alert to how my actions affect others than to be implicitly accepted because I called myself something. Again, what in you craves that kind of effortless belonging, even at the cost of your sincerest wants? Do you crave unconditional love, or would you prefer deep understanding? What can you feed to that need instead?

I'm friends with trans people because we share the same hobbies and worldviews. My friends do not seem to care that I'm cis as long as I'm respectful. I like that I can fuck with gender stuff around them and they won't judge. If someone jokes that I'm wrong about my own identity, I do get kinda embarrassed for them, but I also choose to take it as a compliment that they see themselves in me. Nobody can control what I do. I love being a good example and reminding people of all groups not to assume!

I also don't list identity stuff in my bios, so everyone has to give me a chance and guess based on how I act. Then... they find out they like me. >:)

Anyway. I hope you feel better! I hope you make some friends who aren't freaky-obsessed with gender, "critical" or not. I wouldn't mind hearing more from you, but also: I will not debate the validity of transness with you, because I think there are way more important things people do that we need to whine about. Also it puts me in a weird position cos I don't like to yell at anons.

[los-ninos-tortugas]

Tuvok and Donnie interacting is so funny to me, because on the one hand I can see Donnie admiring Tuvok for his logical outlook and for not being driven by emotions, but on the other hand I can see him totally resenting Tuvok for being The Authority Figure That Says No. Add to that the facts that Donnie is used to little to no adult supervision and that the he is used to FIGHTING ADULT VILLIANS, and I can totally see Tuvok getting unwillingly pulled into a rivalry with a 16 year old. Which is especially funny when you consider that Tuvok is over 100 years old and from his perspective he is essentially being threatened by a toddler. (I kind of want Donnie to try and convince the other kids to join in on this feud...)

Lmao I love the phrasing of Tuvok being "threatened by a toddler."

It's kind of interesting because Tuvok is the first (non-hostile) alien Donnie has ever met. I think he would be very fascinated by Vulcan philosophy and the long and complicated relationship Vulcans and Humans have. Tuvok himself has a very complicated personal history with Vulcan teachings and humans so his unique perspective on the topics would definitely draw Donnie in and feed his love for learning. Add to the fact that Tuvok is chief security officer, he is in charge of the tactical functions of the ship (weapons functions, shields) as well as protecting the ship from internal threats. Tuvok being inherently level headed lends incredibly well to his job as an officer and I think in that Donnie might see a lot of what he wants to be as he grows into himself (not necessarily the whole suppressing all emotions thing that Vulcans do, just the logic aspect of it). There are quite a few parent aged adults on Voyager that Donnie would like to earn positive reinforcement from and Tuvok is definitely one of them... Which yes does make Donnie intensely frustrated when Tuvok has to be that authority figure that says no.

Because as you pointed out, Donnie is quite used to fighting adults and never really having to deal with an actually strict authority figure, so what I really think would happen is that Donnie would get very very annoyed at Tuvok because of the insinuation that Donnie can't handle things himself or that he is in any way incapable or incompetent in some capacity. To Donnie's mind I think it would be, "I don't understand why Tuvok won't let me do 'x' mildly dangerous thing I've gotten through way more perilous situations, logic should dictate that he would say yes >:(" And of course the line of logic that Tuvok is actually following is, "Adolescents have a tendency towards making up stories and tall tales in order to claim skills and accomplishments they do not possess for the purposes of seeming more impressive, because youths often struggle with self esteem. Donatello wishes me to believe he is capable of performing dangerous and nigh impossible feats because he seeks my approval, however I cannot in good conscience allow a child to attempt 'x' action as it poses a physical danger to him. He is angered when I tell him this."

I don't think it would take too much convincing from Donnie to get the other kids on board when he's feeling particularly rebellious, mostly because they also know Tuvok as The One Who Says No All The Time (even if they're not trying to do something particularly dangerous/disruptive, Tuvok isn't exactly known for being fun). I mean, the borg kids went from trying to seek out and be a part of what is the Ultimate form of Authority in the galaxy to learning the importance of their individuality, they're practically hard wired (no pun intended) to be especially rebellious at this phase. Naomi is maybe slightly less on board because she has a mom so she's a little more well adjusted to taking no for an answer than the other kids are but she's not necessarily left entirely out of it either.

In any case I do plan to explore Donnie and Tuvok's dynamic in Set a Course for Home because there's way too much story potential there to just leave it out. (I'm really going to try to give as many crew members their time to shine as I can.)

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Oh no...I've been thinking up bonding situations/ activities Gai and Kakashi did leading up to the Madara incident.

At the start of day one, Kakashi injures Gai a lot(gotta train him like the world's at stake because...it is. Don'tworry the healing amulet will take care of it) and Gai at some point SLIGHTLY damages Kakashi and is like "want me to kiss it better?" He gets a loooong stare in response and is like "ah no worries than. You probably couldn't afford it. 😁👍"

Kakashi knows its going to be a loooong week. And doubles the training.

It takes three days of non-stop fighting/training and badgering from Kakashi before Gai's composure finally breaks and let Kakashi see his vulnerability, as well as his resolve. Then passes out. Kakashi finally realizes he is dealing with the actual Gai his old bff, and resolves to treat him that way.

Day 4, lot's more training but they also now know Gai's limits even with the amulet and extra god items help. Kakashi is doing a better job explaining how lightning works and how to wield it as a weapon and in the tri-staff form. Gai let's Kakashi know that his storms were an inspiration to him. They get a little closer as they kick each other's ass.

Day 5.) They take a break to cook something. Obito drops by. Bit of a downer but he learns about those two being brothers! So cool~ talks about his own family for a bit. Its....probably not that great. Especially in comparison to his last lifetime. He gets to see Obito put the stars up and sees Kakashi messing with it.... asks if Kakashi can draw something funny up there for him. ("Put a penis up there~" (Obito is not pleased.))

Day 6.) Day of resting. They trained all they could and any more would probably just tire Gai out for the battle tomorrow. Gai gets to cut his hair and shave how he likes, take a bath, talk to Kakashi, do some light flirting mostly for fun... and also reveals one of the ways he fought is based off a dance he himself made. Ends up showing Kakashi and gives him a bit of a show (clothes stay on!) and Kakashi is struck because.... the steps of that dance are the same ones Gai use to dance for him in the past life. Just a bit more sensual.

Day seven. Time to fight a god... asks Kakashi for a good luck kiss maybe and points at his cheek. To which Kakashi responds "you couldn't afford it, honey."

It makes Gai laugh and smile before his major confrontation. And its time to go. And Kakashi... wants to believe in him to now. No matter how things turn out, he will stay by his side and cheer him on.

He doesn't want to see his friend die again.

I really love the idea of them bonding over training, and the little joke about a kiss costing too much 😭😭😭

Kakashi should have taken the kiss. It was litterally his only chance before disaster struck. On the plus side though, they’ll have a lot of time to get to know each other better after.

Also Kakashi hates that he has to be so hard on Gai in training, but it’s a lot to learn. Dude almost took off to another village with the winged shoes Naruto gave him, which could have ended so badly if Kakashi hadn’t caught up to him and pulled him back before he came into contact with any of the villagers.

I love the idea of Gai’s village being sort of mythical. After all those who visit it don’t survive, so how do people know it’s real when they have only met a select few people who claim to have come from there?

All these other villages hear of a great fight between a mortal and a god and just shake their head. They don’t belive there’s a mortal out there stupid enough to fight a god, abd if there is they certainly didn’t win.

It’s bot until generations later when a cure is found and people can begin venturing outside of the village that their stories spread and their history is properly shared, and so many other villages finally learn about the great Mortal Gai who fought a god of creation just to protect his village

[heimdallsram]

hi ! do you have any thoughts about kratos and heimdall together? i love your writing and am very interested on your take on this interesting n odd pair!

Hello! And my, this is a hard one, isn't it?

No matter how you slice it, this would be a difficult pairing from the get-go. Heimdall is... very much a representation of a younger Atreus that never grew up, in a sense. At least that's how I see it! I've noted his vanity, shallowness, and superiority/inferiority complex before, so I'll move past that, and say that Heimdall is a foil to and for Atreus.

That said--it could work. But Heimdall would have to go through some serious personality and mental growth before Kratos would ever, presumably, entertain even the thought of something more than pity and/or hatred regarding him. You could also say he may feel some regret for the way he lost control during their fight that had resulted (as thought) in Heimdall's death and, in his own way, may make it up to him.

Or... perhaps, Heimdall develops something of a death wish. Why should he have survived if he failed? Odin was dead, he has no purpose in life without him, so he deliberately seeks Kratos out to force him to kill him permanently this time.

You could easily draw parallels to Baldur, here.

But since we're talking about the relationship aspect and my thoughts on it, I'll stop rambling about how I think it could work canon-wise. 😅

• They're dysfunctional at best, polar opposites at worst. Kratos is stern, gruff, takes no bullshit; Heimdall is all bullshit, mouthy, defensive--it would be the first thing Kratos would have to train out of him to expose the deeper issues he has. Being a father would mellow him out enough for him to understand where Heimdall's coming from, but only just.

• Heimdall runs his mouth. Kratos would barely tolerate it before his temper would get the better of him, especially in the beginning stages.

• Kratos would no doubt see Heimdall as a way to right the wrong he committed in almost killing him and losing control. Despite how unbearable the man can be, I think Kratos would see the benefit in returning him to something worthwhile that does not depend on his now dead father's approval.

• Loneliness. Assuming Mimir takes up his torch with Sigrun, Kratos will be alone for the majority of the time post-Ragnarök. With Freya only able to join his journeys every so often due to issues within Vanaheim, this would be the perfect place to introduce Heimdall as a sort of growth experiment. He would have to learn to do things he never had to when in Asgard, and the hard way.

• Without his arm, Heimdall's esteem would tank drastically. His foresight would be of no aid to him there. Kratos could bond with him through these things, teach him to use a weapon, as he would no doubt have experience teaching maimed warriors to fight in some way. (And if not, perhaps he takes on a particular side quest regarding just that.)

• But, when all is said and done, you must consider Faye. She was a large part of Kratos' restructuring within the Norse lands and it cannot be easily brushed aside. Heimdall would be snide about her existence, expressing distaste of her giant heritage. Kratos would, without a better phrase, need to show him who's in charge. And no, that's not an innuendo haha.

• This relationship has a high chance of turning toxic. I'd throw a guess out there and say around 90% if Heimdall doesn't change his ways and 100% if Kratos starts slipping, because Heimdall reminds him too much of a certain Greek God he had killed long ago.

• I really don't think it would be sunshine and rainbows. There would be happy spots, yes, but Heimdall does not seem to be able to coexist in a family unit, especially one so heavily marked by those he considers wronged his father. And if he did try, he would have periods of running away, but would return.

• It's a very complicated question of: will he? Can Heimdall change enough to be something better for himself and not just Kratos? Enough to keep a relationship with the man, to boot?

• Heimdall would struggle with the idea of a non abusive fatherly figure, especially through the lens that he sees Kratos interact with Atreus. He would need to get over that quickly or any chance of this working implodes fantastically.

• Don't get me wrong, Kratos would have to put in a lot of work alongside Heimdall to make it somewhat stable. And I think it could be, with time and effort, and eventually be something based on love, but truly... I think we all know it would be sparked by the sexual tension that arises between the two.

So, with all this in mind, I think it could work! But anyone who writes it would have to have some consideration for Heimdall's issues, his new existence as a disabled god, and Kratos' slip up. 🤔

I hope this was helpful! This was actually a really tough question for me and I enjoyed it immensely. And thank you for being a fan of my writing 🥰

[ambimakesarts]

DIASOMNIA CHAPTER GOT ME THINKING

Also drawing takes long and I just wanna talk. And for those are EN only and don't want any spoilery talk I'll put my ramblings under the cut so you may ignore wild spoilers.

First I'd like to point out that Lilia doesn't seem to have an older looking form in the past so I was right all along that Lilia is a short faery man. Like did you see that silhouette? He's been that short for centuries!

Anyway that aside, I'm very 50/50 on the whole "Is Lilia faking his death, or is his past catching up to him quicker than he expected? Cuz Sebek mentioned that Lilia's old weapon is made of a special material that can change size, so I'm thinking Lilia's old fighting style involed him using his Unique magic so much that someone was like "you're gonna die or overblot if you keep fighting like that" so he switched up his style to be more advantageous to his naturally small size. I feel like that could explain this sudden "Lilia is losing his magic and dying thing" cuz like if fae are mostly made of magic and it takes them long to die without an outside force killing them then I guess a fae that dies of old age is just a fae who's used up all their magic, and if Lilia used to be extremely reckless in the past then it could explain why this sprung up so suddenly. Cuz unlike Idia, Ortho, and Silver, Lilia had zero hints about his status other than complaining about back pain, barely, also no one is able to tell if he's joking or not, so who's to say we were just not paying attention enough to Lilia's actual situation. Then again it still does feel sudden even if we had subtle hints that Lilia is very old, but he has so much energy it's hard to believe that he's fragile, probably cuz Lilia was ignoring it for Malleus' sake and finally decided that Malleus needs to learn how deal with loss so he's just dramatizing his death a bit? Like I don't think he's lying, but I also think he could be using this situation to help teach Malleus a type of life lesson he was putting off for way too long. At least that's my theory on Lilia for now.

I'm also wondering about Silver's origins, and if Lilia was the one that took Silver from his family. He says the ring belongs to Silver, what importance does this ring have to Silver's origins? Does it have dream powers? Is it the key to figuring out Silver's mysterious sleep spells? Was Silver from a human kingdom that was taken over by the Briar Valley and Silver was the only survivor so Lilia took him and his family ring? But like why? I'm also wondering if Silver is a direct descendent of Aurora and Philip. We know Idia is possibly a direct descendent of Hades based on his family curse, since he explains it in a way that sounds closer to what actually happened to Hades in the Hercules movie.

Which leads me into in another thing I've been thinking about, what if the students that overbloted are decendents of the Great Seven? I do remember seeing a translated bit from an interview with Yana were she was talking about the early development of the game and that the original plan for the SSR's was to have the characters with the Disney villains they took inspo from. So I'm wondering if the whole "Crowley is forcing overblots" theory that's been going around might have merit to it. That could explain why characters like Leona and Vil ended up overblotting even though they tend to be very level headed, but Crowley set up an environment that would cuz them to overblot.

"But what about Idia and Ortho that didn't happen in NRC?" HEAR ME OUT I GOT A THEORY! What if Crowley wanted to get STYX involved cuz he needed the Shrouds to merge with the overblot of their ancestor directly cuz of the Shroud family curse preventing Idia from overblotting like the others, so when Ortho started hacking STYX and got Idia to join him in this uprising in the facility, so long as Idia and Grim were involved and had contact with the blot then his plans could be full-filled? Cuz looking back, I'm still wondering WHO WAS CALLING ORTHO TO THE TARTARUS GATE? I don't think it was the real Ortho, the real Ortho shows up when Idia was separated from the blot and was telling Idia to continue living for the both of them, so like WHO WAS CALLING ROBOT ORTHO?!?!

But why would Crowley want to cuz these overblots? Maybe because he's planning something that involves wanting to bring back the Great Seven? What if Maleficent and Hades are the only two of the Great Seven who are still around unlike the others who lived so long ago and are just mortal beings (and Jafar's lamp was destroyed in the sequel). Maybe Grim is the key to Crowley's plan? Maybe it's Crowley who's going to allow Malleus to cause some kind of timeloop? We know Malleus is capable of stopping time, and we know his emotions tend to effect the weather around him, so like maybe Malleus is going freeze NRC not just in time but also literally freeze the area surrounding the campus cuz he doesn't want to be alone, and Crowley might just let it happen.

Cuz Crowley probably knows more than he lets on, after all Maleficent and the Evil Queen had pet crows, so he could be working for someone who wants these overblots to happen.

Well, that's enough of my theory/prediction rambling. I patiently wait for the rest of the chapter to unfold and give me more questions and answers.

[emma-nation]

The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU)

“Step inside, see the Devil in I”

Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.

In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.

“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x OC

Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)

Tag List: @nydeiri

Notes: This is my first RES fic, so I'm sorry if I mess it up a bit. English is also not my main language, so a mistake or two may happen. I hope you enjoy it :)

Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.

Eastern Europe - July, 2009

"If he could learn to love another and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?"

Mother closed the book, placing it on the bedside table between Auryk's bed and mine. Then, she lowered herself and kissed my forehead like she did every night. Her long, blonde hair tickled my face and left a trace of her sweet lavender fragrance in the air. I giggled.

"Good night, sweetheart," she spoke.

"Good night, momma."

"Cherish your last night as a six years old. Tomorrow you will become a..."

"Princess?!"

"A seven years old girl. The prettiest girl in the village."

"Pffft," Auryk let out a displeased grunt from his bed, covering his head with the pillow to avoid listening another word from the conversation.

"And you too," mother sat by his side on the bed and repeated her nightly ritual of kissing his forehead to wish him a good night too. "You'll become the most handsome and brave warrior in this village. Do you understand?"

"I hope so. Good night, mom."

"Good night, buddy."

Mother left the room, leaving us both in the dark. However, we couldn't sleep. Not because we were thrilled about our incoming birthday party as any regular child, but because we knew our lives were about to change. Seven years old was the age every child from our village was introduced to the truth and started being trained to fight the evil that haunted our lands. Auryk and I spent minutes, or maybe hours, in silence, staring at the ceiling.

"Leena?" He was the first one to speak. "Do you believe a spell can broken? I mean, like a curse?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I answered, feeling my thoughts starting to drift away. "Maybe we're doomed after all. Or... we could learn how to love the beasts."

The birthday parties always happened during the daytime, rules of the village. We could no longer be outside after 6 PM. Mother got help from the other women to prepare the treats and organize the decorations. Auryk was disguised as a pirate and I... I was Belle, from the Beauty and the Beast.

"So, what do you think you will be getting this year?" My best friend Elena asked while we were playing with our dolls. She was about two years older than us.

"I don't know," I shrugged. Being a merchant, my father always returned home with the most unusual gifts: a magical music box, a voodoo doll that had a life on its own or a fragrance that chased away the monsters - and everybody else too. "A new book. I'm hoping for a new book."

It was only by the end of the party Adrian Novak made his entrance. That was the mystery about him. Nobody knew when he would show up, or if he would show up at all. He still had that same annoying smirk on his face. The corner of his mouth holding a cigarette. The months away made his beard grow longer, as well as his dark hair. In the sunlight, the scar above his eye was even more visible.

"Auryk," he shouted, "come here, son. I've got something for ya."

My twin brother, who had been climbing trees with his friends stop frozen in spot for a second. I couldn't tell if he hated or feared that man. Maybe both. He slowly followed father's command, approaching him cautiously.

"Hi, dad."

"Happy birthday, son," father ruffled his dark straight hair with his strong and calloused hand. "It's about time you grow up."

He handed my brother a large package. From our experience, we knew exactly what it was, a shotgun.

"T-Thank you, dad."

"I'll be spending some time at home. Tomorrow we'll start practicing."

Auryk consented. He shot me a quick glance. From our twin bond I could tell my brother was far from happy. When he blew his candles that afternoon, he didn't wish for a weapon. We wished to be a normal child.

"What did you get, Leena?" He asked once we were locked in the safety of our bedroom.

"Pencils and a drawing book. Dad thinks I'm talented."

Not really. Adrian Novak would never allow his daughter to hold a shotgun. That was, according to him, 'a man thing'.

"Good, at least one of us got what they wanted. Happy birthday, sister."

"Happy birthday, brother."

4 Years Later - October, 2013

It wasn't easy to be the weakest of the twins. Although he was born first, Auryk was the tinniest. The one who was always getting sick or getting injured. The one who couldn't hit a single fucking target when he had the alcoholic breath of his father on his neck.

He aimed for a crow, sitting still on a fence. How hard could it be? Even the eldest man from the village could do any better than that.

BANG! He shot again. And missed.

"Again?!" Adrian angered, shoving him hard on the shoulder. "What the hell is your problem, kid?"

"I don't know, okay? This gun... it's heavy!"

"Heavy? And why do you think we've been exercising for all these years, huh?! We do not live in Disneyland, Auryk. We need to fight monsters, abominations. Someday I won't be home and you need to be prepared to protect our people. Do you understand?"

Tears started forming in the corners of the boy's blue eyes. He couldn't cry. Not in front of him. Crying was a sign of weakness and he couldn't be weak. Not right now. Auryk started to think about all the things he could be doing. He thought about the ocean, as he had seen on TV and books. He could feel the warmness of the sun on his skin. The sand between his toes. His mom and sister were also there, of course - they'd carry them with him everywhere. And he would study Math and Physics. There would be no guns, no monsters, no blood, only numbers, only formulas, only theories. He smiled. He no longer felt like crying.

"I'm sorry, dad," kindness was always the answer, his mother said. "But this isn't for me, you know? I don't like it. I... Remember that boarding school my teacher mentioned? I thought maybe I..."

His words were interrupted by a hard slap on his face. Auryk could taste a small amount of blood coming out from his lower lip.

"So that's what you want? To become one of those little fancy fags? Maybe you're not my son after all."

Adrian started walking away, leaving his son alone, sitting on the floor.

"I AM!" Auryk yelled, enraged. "I am your son."

"Then prove it."

"You shouldn't take so hard on him," Savannah poured her husband a cup of tea. "He's just a boy."

"He's eleven years old, for god's sake," the husband punched the table strong enough to make it shake. "He needs to man up a bit. You should stop spoiling him."

As I left my bedroom I found my brother sitting on the stairs. He didn't have to be so close to listen to the conversation between our parents, father's voice was loud enough to echo through every wall of our small and cozy home.

I sat down by his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Maybe you should do it, Leena. You'd do it better, I know."

"I'm not so sure. Remember when I tried to shoot a scarecrow and almost shot that old witch?"

"Come on, you aimed on purpose! I know."

Auryk finally let out a small laugh at the memory.

"You're good at everything, Leena," he spoke fondly. "You're an extrovert, you're everybody's friend, you can cook, you can draw and paint... you're a true artist. I'm a mistake."

"You're not a mistake, Ryk," I pulled my brother closer, resting my cheek against the side of his face. "We're only at the wrong place and you know it."

Going back to our bedroom, we pulled from the drawers the postcards our grandma Louise sent us from San Diego. Mom had been born in California and lived there her entire life, until she met father during one of his trips. God knows what made her fall in love with that man. Adventure? Danger? I expected better from myself when I turned eighteen. Otherwise, I'd never want to fall in love. Love could be my ruin, just like my mom's.

"Leena..." Auryk held the postcard tightly, "do you think... if he died... do you think mom would take us to nana's home?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I didn't want to think of my father's possible death. But I also dreamed of a better life. "Maybe."

"What the hell?" Father's voice in the kitchen made me jump in fear. I knew that tone. I grew up used to that. Something was wrong in the village. We had to hide.

"To the basement, now!" He emerged at the bedroom, holding a rifle. "Lycans were seen surrounding the area."

We barely had any time to react, mom came and dragged us both to the basement. Father left, carrying his arsenal of weapons as usual. There were other hunters in the village but we always knew how badly it could end. Somebody could always get seriously hurt. Or worse.

The basement had been carefully prepared for that kind of situation years before. It had a big bed, two armchairs, a heating source, some stored food and a shelf. Mom sighed and forced a smile.

"So," she walked to the shelf, "what is it going to be today?"

"Frankenstein," Auryk suggested. My brother loved mystery and horror. As if his life hadn't enough of it.

"Romeo and Juliet," I spoke. There was something about forbidden romance that always caught my interest.

"Okay. I... I'm gonna say a prayer and you two can read the books you picked by yourselves. What do you think?"

"Great!"

Mom kneeled down by the bed's side, holding a crucifix. I could join her if I wanted to, but I'd rather watch in silence. I grabbed my book, sitting on one of the armchairs and pretending to pay attention, while I tried to distract myself from the fact my father could be the Lycans' next prey. Or all of us, if they managed to break into our house.

"Leena?" I woke up hours later with my mom shaking me. "Leena?! Where's Auryk? Where's your brother, Leena?"

I had no idea. I had fallen asleep and apparently, so did mom. She checked for the basement's door, it had been locked from outside.

"No..." she tried to force it open. "No! I can't be..."

All Auryk had to do was to successfully kill and take a Lycan's carcass as a trophy to his father, right? That was what that old douchebag wanted him to do, to prove his courage, his manhood. We had his shotgun, a binoculars and a knife, that should be enough, but first, he needed a good plan.

Looking down to his hands, he had the most perfect idea. Without thinking twice, he sliced a cut through his palm, letting some blood pour on the ground. Then, he found a tall tree. He climbed it and observed. The smell of blood his trail left behind should be enough to attract a creature.

"Come on... come on..."

From a distance, Auryk could hear the sound of destruction and death. There was a battle going on somewhere nearby. Once again Lycans should have found a family or a group of hunters.

And then, he could hear it. The heavy footsteps, the screeching sounds, the sniffing. The mutant creature was only a few meters away from the tree. He aimed, but it was still too distant. He needed to move to a closer branch.

It all happened in one second. He was almost there, reaching for the spot he had picked, but his weight was too much for the tree's branch. In a blink of an eye, he was lying on the ground. His vision was blurred. His head hurt intensely, as well as his arm. It was broken for sure. He possibly had a concussion too. He tried to stand up and run but his legs wouldn't follow his commands. The Lycan was coming straight at him.

"AURYK!" His mother screamed behind him. "NO!"

Time seemed to freeze in that fraction of second. How did she manage to escape the basement? How could she have found him?

But without hesitation, Savannah threw herself on top of her son, protecting him from the jaws and claws of the monster. Auryk couldn't see much, but he could smell it. He could feel it. Blood. There was blood everywhere. He couldn't tell who it belonged to, he or his mom's.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A fast sequence of shots suggested the hunters had found them. The creature stopped moving, stopped howling. It was finally dead.

"M-Mom... it's dead. We... We're safe."

She didn't answer. Instead, he heard another familiar voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" It was from his father. "Savannah! Savannah!"

"D-Dad..." Auryk tried to speak, but the words got lost along the way. "I... I..."

Adrian lifted him by his jacket, holding him inches above the ground.

"YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM, YOUR STUPID BASTARD!"

"I..." tears streamed down the boy's face, his injured brain trying to process what had just happened. "I'm sorry.'

After he was thrown back to the ground, he was hit with a hard kick on his stomach. He turned his head around to notice a small figure hiding behind a tree, watching the whole scene in pure horror.

"L-Leena..." he muttered.

"This is all your fault, Auryk. You're a disgrace to this family."

And then, he passed out. Rumors said he was unconscious for days or maybe weeks. When he woke up, he wished everything had been a nightmare.

Present Days - July, 2021

Nobody mourned Adrian Novak when he died. Not his children. Not his village mates. No human being would ever feel any sympathy for a man who abused and blamed his eleven years old son for his mother's death. It had been two years since Adrian left this world and I couldn't feel any more free.

"Hey," I left another message on my brother's voicemail, "in case you've forgotten it's our birthday today. I'd like to have my twin home, you know? Call me when you get this message."

It was useless, I knew. Auryk would only pick up his phone when he wanted to. Or when he was too drunk. God knew where that guy would be at that time, probably waking up at some girl's bed or getting some rest from... working.

After grabbing myself a cup of coffee, I checked the door's mat. Bills, bills, newspaper and... California Institute Of Arts? I remember having an argument with Auryk about this matter at some point. He wanted me to fill the application and send them my portfolio. I insisted we had no money, not even to pay for the tuition. I won - I always win every argument by the way.

"Your damn son of a..." I placed the envelope on the kitchen's table. I was a coward, I confess. However, I didn't know which pain was worse - to be sure I wasn't good enough or to be sure I was, indeed, but I'd never have money to leave that hellhole. Anyways, I decided to leave it alone. I had more important things to do.

My morning routine: to go to the middle of the woods and do some training. My father used to say fighting wasn't a girl thing, but I was no regular girl. And never in this life I'd allow someone to tell me what to do.

After running, climbing and doing a set of push-ups, it was time for combat training. Travelers from abroad taught me some different set of moves, I'd like to think I created my own fighting style. I was also very good with knifes, daggers or any kinds of short blades, they were useful during a close distance combat. My shooting was a work in progress, once or twice I'd miss the center of my handmade targets.

Then, like everyday, I'd go back home, shower and follow to my shift at the village's pub.

"Hiya, Leena," Gustav greeted me when I arrived. "I heard today is a special day... the day a little girl..."

"NO!" I stopped him. Gustav was my best friend. We had known each other since we were children and somehow, he liked to make my birthday a special - and embarrassing - event.

He placed a handmade fairytale-like book on the table. There were some edited pictures, mixed with some messed up drawings about my birth and childhood. He called it 'The Princess Who Carried The Light'.

"God, you're soooo stupid..." I rolled my eyes and moaned, before wrapping him into a very tight hug. "I love you, you know that?"

"I know. You'd probably marry me, if you weren't into girls."

We laughed together, as Olga, our boss emerged from the kitchen, bringing a cake with nineteen candles.

"Here's to another year," the older woman opened a wrinkled smile, "make a wish, my darling."

I fell pensive for a moment, besides having my twin brother back home, safe and sound, what else could I wish for? California, that scholarship, a new life... that's for sure.

"I wish for... a new life, a new adventure," I pronounced aloud while blowing the candles.

"Careful," a male voice spoke behind me, "words have power, little sister. You may get what you want."

"Ryk!"

I jumped straight to my brother's arms. I could swear that in only a few weeks he had gotten a little bit taller, and stronger too.

"I wouldn't miss my own birthday, right?" He smirked. "So, where's the cake? Please, chocolate... tell me it's chocolate."

"Your silly boy," Olga spread some icing on his nose. "Of course it's chocolate, as you love. And with cherries too."

Auryk responded with a satisfied smile. Olga and her husband, Kristoff, were those responsible for taking care of him after the Lycan attack, years ago. They sort of adopted him like one of their biological children.

"Oh!" The woman exclaimed taking a closer look at Ryk's forearm. He had gotten a tattoo. I hadn't been informed of those news either. Apparently, my brother had more secrets than I could even start to imagine. "This is... new. It seems like my kids are really growing up."

"And only now you noticed that, Olga?" Gustav joked.

Olga shook her head, grinning at herself and returned to the kitchen. The customers were starting to fill the pub. I stared at Ryk again, wondering what other secrets my brother could be keeping.

"So, what does that mean?" I pointed to his newly gotten tattoo, a strange and ancient symbol it seemed.

"Protection from the evil. This is what we need the most in our lives, especially in a place like this. What reminds me -" we turned around, taking a small box from the pocket of his jacket. "Your gift."

I took the black velvet box from his hands, it contained a golden necklace with a magenta gemstone as pendant. My blue eyes drowned themselves in the stone. It had a mysterious glow. Something hypnotizing. Something magical.

"Whoa..." was everything my mouth could pronounce. "And I bought you an Astronomy book."

Auryk stood up from his chair and went behind me, taking the necklace from my hands to wear it around my neck himself.

"This is supposed to protect you from any supernatural and inhumane beings. I won't lose you to them, Aleena. Not like I lost mom."

"Ryk, I... I can't even thank you enough."

"You don't have to. Just... stay alive."

First, I was overflowing with happiness. It either had to do with the fact my brother was home, alcohol, or both. Also, Olga should thank me. Most of the costumers of the day only stopped by the bar because of me. They absolutely loved me and knowing it was my birthday, they had to come and see me. A few of them even gave me some extra tips or a small gift, which was even greater.

"Okay, party girl..." Auryk helped me to get inside of the house as I tripped over the door mat. "Time to go to bed now. Don't you think?"

"Come on, Ryk! Have some spirit! You're home, Olga gave me the day off tomorrow, I earned some money..."

"You told Mrs. Hansen you secretly had a crush on her daughter during Middle School, you danced on top of a table, you're gonna get a hangover..."

"Party pooper!"

I threw myself at the couch. Auryk stood in front of me with arms crossed, looking like a father about to give his child a lecture.

"What?!" I yelled. "It's not like you've never been drunk before. Remember when you stole Adrian's..." I started to laugh, remembering the episode.

"When you were going to tell me about this, Leena?" He showed me the envelope. The Art Institute envelope. The one I had been struggling to open.

"Oh! I forgot. My bad, I didn't open it myself yet. I probably didn't get in anyways."

"You did."

I did?

"It's not like we have money to pay for my tuition. Also, how are we supposed to move to California, Ryk? I work at a pub and you..."

"I've gotten more than enough for that. You know that getting out of this place has always been the plan, since we were children. Leena, I've done some big jobs those last few months. I have the money to grant us a comfortable life in California."

"Smuggling, Ryk!" I raised my voice, saying aloud the information that was supposed to be a secret or not. "You've been stealing to grant us this life."

My brother stared at me in silence. I couldn't tell if he felt offended or embarrassed about my words.

"I'm getting out of here, whatever it takes," he ran a hand through his dark hair. "And you are coming with me. In two weeks, we move to United States for your enrollment."

"But..."

What I was trying to protest against? Leaving the village and starting a new life with my brother was everything I always dreamed.

"Look, I promise you," Auryk placed both of his firm hands on my shoulders, "once we settle down, no more smuggling."

"Okay," I sighed. "We leave in two weeks then."

There was a loud knock on the door. Being drunk as I was, I figured out I should have forgotten my purse at the pub. Or it could be a neighbor with some very stupid emergency.

Auryk opened the door and there was a strange looking man standing there. We wore sunglasses and a hat, behind his back he was carrying a giant hammer. According to the rumors and stories I heard from my parents, that was one of the Lords of The Four Houses, Karl Heisenberg.

"Auryk Novak?" He asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Come with me, kid. You've gotten yourself in big trouble."

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[onecanonlife]

Okay, so this is maybe a question inspired by your tags on your last post, but how many wips do you have? Like even vague plot ideas that you think you might want to do some day? Do you think you could talk a little about all of them? I love hearing about your ideas

oh god there’s so many. too many. wayy too many

alright, so there's the ones i've talked about before, that are in the process of being written or at least definitely being planned, and that's the time travel au, the president!wilbur fic, the anastasia au, and the next installments in the careful son 'verse

anything else, i haven't brought myself to start yet, but boy are the ideas there (all /rp, of course)

so there’s the superhero au, obviously, in which c!tommy is a vigilante and c!wilbur’s been dead for years. except then, c!dream, the most threatening villain in town (who also has it out for tommy, because of course) gains a new ally, one that tommy can’t help but bond with, despite the wisdom of that. also ft. the syndicate as the closest thing to a hero organization the town has, a corrupt government that’s honestly the least of anybody’s concerns, and very complicated found family relationships

and then i’ve got a variation on the superhero au in which c!ranboo, new on the block and struggling to control his powers, stumbles upon c!dream performing a resurrection ritual. events snowball from there, and ranboo finds himself on the run with a man who won’t speak, seems to have little sense of self-preservation, and has a few odd ideas about being dream’s vassal. whatever that means. ranboo’s not sure if sticking with this guy is the best idea, but he also doesn’t want to just leave him alone. and the more he learns about him, the more he decides that really, what this guy needs is some help. and a friend.

then there’s the crimeboys fic in which c!tommy meets c!wilbur when wilbur’s fresh from several years stuck in the skyblock randomizer challenge, so of course he ends up attaching himself to this strange, traumatized man, and they start trying to make their way back to wilbur’s home. the key word being trying, as wilbur’s years as a pawn of the sky gods have done a number on him, and he’s not actually sure where home is. and then, of course, because it’s them, things can never be that simple, and the two of them find themselves in the midst of a revolution against the gods’ tyranny (aka l’manberg was not wilbur and tommy’s first rodeo regarding rebellion and independence)

and then i’ve got yet another crimeboys fic idea where c!tommy accidentally stumbles on a fairy circle in the woods, immediately drawing the attention of the local fae, c!wilbur. tommy manages to make it out of the interaction without giving away his name or signing away his soul or whatever it is fae like to take from humans, and yet, he finds himself returning a few nights later, because even though wilbur is dangerous, inhuman, talking to him is somehow the most positive interaction he’s gotten with anybody for a long time, despite the risk. and wilbur, for his part, finds himself genuinely growing attached to this kid that seems to lack any kind of common sense

i’ve also got vague ideas for an emerald duo fic, in which c!techno decides that he needs a hard break from being used as a weapon by whichever kingdoms want to destroy whichever other kingdoms, and decides that he’s going to go live in the woods for a few years, take a breather. except, it turns out that the woods are already occupied by a Feral Bird Man. techno almost turns around and leaves right then and there, but then decides that no bird man is going to keep him from building a house wherever he wants, so he sticks it out. the bird man also seems pretty unwilling to leave the area, so they learn to live with each other, and techno learns that there’s more to this guy than meets the eye

i really, really want to write an eldritch!wilbur sometime. i’ve done wingbur and i’ve done crowbur, so that seems like the next logical step. i just haven’t been able to decide whether i want to try and set it in relatively current canon, go back a little further and do canon divergence, or set it in a straight-up au, so this one’s not all that developed except for the eldritch!wilbur part. probably involving some kind of h/c, knowing me, and maybe something about the nature of being human idk idk

again, vague, but i’d really love for eret and foolish to do some lore so i could write an eternal duo-centric fic, i am desperately awaiting some more crumbs

those are the ones that are the most fleshed out at the moment. and the trouble is, of course, that most of these would have to be long, plotty fics in order to do the idea justice, which is why i haven’t actually written them yet. i’ve already got so much going on lmao

but all of these are things that i really, really do hope i get to writing about eventually

[bearpillowmonster]

Horizon Zero Dawn Review

The game that critics have been raving about for years and I just haven't played. I heard a lot of people say "this needs a movie" but they say that about any game that dares to be a little bit cinematic because I personally disagree.

That first part is rough, the story seems so in your face, predictable and bland but I think the problem is that it didn't know how to put in its exposition. I think it naturally builds up as it goes on, getting bigger and broader, it's just those first experiences that can be a slog because you're pretty much learning what style you're going to play in.

I got more or less everything I expected, crafting, a skill tree, various weapons. What I didn't expect though are dialogue options. You can choose normally up to four paths, an intelligent one, a compassionate one, and a straightforward one. You don't have to worry about the stress of trying to reach a specific ending because there's really only one, the only thing that affects it is the amount of people that are in it. So does that make the choices irrelevant? Yes and no because there are different dialogue options and like I said, which means that you can get certain characters to like you more given the option you choose but not in the same way that relationship points work and I definitely felt the draw to do that whenever I came across my first side-quest.

Side-quests are interesting, I love tracking things in games, though it's rare that you actually get the chance to do it and here you have a good amount of opportunities. Is that all though? Far from it. I actually found myself searching for side-quests because the first two were so satisfying. It really only began to show its hand a bit more after those quests. As I mentioned, there are a lot more RPG elements than I first imagined but it starts to send you on scavenger hunts, especially that Dreamwillow one, that one I actually laughed out loud at every time I was turned away. It also starts to gatekeep to where it recommends that you be a certain level which is...odd? I mean at face value it looks like you could rock basically any combat situation that isn't context sensitive. Leveling up gives you abilities but they're more like Deus Ex on that front, where it's just for preference and upgrading, not necessarily strength. The only thing you improve on offense wise basically boils down to having the right materials or units to buy weapons then a matter of finding modifications. Other than that, leveling up seems to just increase your health. It really just depends on the quest too because I'll play one above my level and be fine then play another that's actually under my level and feel stuck.

Now I only played it on normal mode so something like "Ultra Hard" is bound to be more demanding but as far as actual side quest content, I feel like they have potential but just need tweaked, give me more stuff for major characters that affects their standing with me. Rather than having each quest be contained in its own story, have it affect you later in the game, let your actions be shown, give it rewards and consequences. There are some really great side-quests but there are also some crappy ones, it doesn't pass that threshold that most RPGs fall under or anything. However, I did find myself doing side-quests at my own free will and the ones that I didn't like or couldn't do at the time, I just skipped and focused on something else, I felt a lot more freedom with this game, like I didn't feel forced to grind or do a certain number of side-quests or really do anything. It encourages you to explore and play the way you want to play and I respect the heck out of that. Maybe it's different for other players though.

Perhaps my favorite actual side thing was the Cauldrons for those who actually played this, you'll know why. For those who didn't, just know that it's cool and let it be a surprise for when you go to one. You might expect these big set-pieces and bosses like Uncharted or GoW, but it's not really like that. I genuinely think that this is more video-gamey than it lets on which certainly takes up its runtime. One addition to side-quests that I would like to see is one where you don't know it's happening. For example, in this game, you'll come across random hunters who are attacking or being attacked by machines but rather than just going on about your day and them going on about their's, I want to fight off the machine and the person say "You saved my life, my name's Jara, I live in the town nearby and want to repay you." so you go there and there's trouble so it starts up a side-quest. Now don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of instances of people getting attacked actually being a mission but most of the time someone in town will just tell you "I haven't seen this person in a while, can you go check on them for me?" It's the art of subtlety and also just doing a good deed and getting rewarded for it. It's a conscious choice and split decision rather than just another checkmark on your list to complete.

Now I won't bother listing the characters and rating them but there's a certain aspect that has me really enthused So, Aloy is an outcast and a lot of these side missions and scenarios reflect her, you'll see the way she can relate with other characters, making it almost poetic in a subliminal kind of way. Then they add this tribal and futuristic setting to it where Aloy acts as the medium, there are parts of the game where she questions the tribe because they cut themselves off from technology and just don't know any better and we as a viewer know that but having the main character view things in 'our' lens is pretty genius. To top that off, they give her enough personality to be her own character while giving us enough power to influence her so that we ourselves can REFLECT WITH HER. It's not her character that I'm impressed with, it's the layout of the story.

So, how is the main story? It's kind of like the Flood scenario in Halo if I'm being honest. I'm not going to spoil anything but it's passable, like I said, it's not like an Uncharted and it's not like a movie. The visuals just look good at times (I took all the pictures in this review myself and so much more!). I'd call it a futuristic/tribal mix between Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Skyrim but I see elements of a lot of things. (Also since it's post apoctalypic, you find items that we see in modern day, like how they call keys, "chimes"! They think they're windchimes because there are no more cars! I love that!)

It actually does a pretty good job at being an open world considering that there are tons of things to do on your routes as well as collect but it's not so much so that it seems unfeasible, as I said, I found myself doing a good chunk of the side stuff just because it was fun to do and I'm not even close to a completionist for any game. If you mess up, healing plants will still be there. As long as you save, enemy parts will still be there. A place can be cleared out and conquered so that enemies don't come back. The actual towns are peaceful so you can't get mangled by any bots outside of scripted instances.

The graphics are pretty good but I can see some error here and there, nothing necessarily game breaking but the animations and AI are definitely janky at times. It's pretty obvious from the get-go but I'll do my best to specify and give constructive criticism on what I found wrong with certain aspects of the game. Rost is slow, like slower than walking speed but that's not to speak for all NPCs, some run, some you don't need to follow, it was really just him. I've had NPCs who fight but miss every single time on simple enemies (that might not be a bug, that might just be a funny bit that someone decided to add in). Sabretooths have jumped through walls (granted the walls were kinda broken but I'm not sure if those big boys can fit when they can barely find the entrance) I found myself jumping to a ledge or on a rope but not land it and just drop (it really boils down to loosening the hit box for that). Which to add on to that, I would like more places to climb and jump to in general (other than stupid mountains). I felt like there wasn't really enough that I could climb and the places that I could, could've been a bit more obvious that I could, maybe even make it viewable with your focus if you don't want it to be visually outstanding. There's a day and night cycle and while I like that, I found some of the contrast to be annoying because I could be staring a ladder right in the face and not even know it sometimes because it would be so dark. I'm not going to complain too much about it because I didn't turn my brightness up, I just left it at default and I would assume the PS5 version fixes some of those little things.

Now, this one is kind of a gray area: Hiking up mountains. Skyrim, Fallout, and Death Stranding went too far and gave little to no barriers. They had you looking for sweet spots that weren't there in order to cheese your way through an area either on or off a beaten path. But I would compare this to something like GTA where it's not as bad and does have its limits but might need tightened up some more because I can certainly get to places that lead to nowhere.

I've made headshots that don't make contact or damage while using precision. Part of that problem was that they could be high up in a tower (which have spikes sticking out) and I would hit ABOVE the logs, to make a headshot but since it was in that vicinity, it registered that as the spikes' hitbox so it wouldn't cause any damage and just alert the enemy (same if I was in the tower, looking down). Input lag where I hit up button on the D-Pad to regain health and I have to keep pressing it. If I had to guess, you have to meet the requirements of not taking damage, staying still, etc in order for it to actually work but it doesn't really have a reason to do that and it doesn't "tell" you that those are the requirements (as far as I know).

During the final boss, one of the enemies hit me into a rock wall, trapping me inside of it and the boss was already half health so I really didn't want to have to restart (I also didn't know how far back the checkpoint was) so I kept shooting stuff and eventually the boss destroyed the wall, allowing me to get out (timed section, by the way). There have been a few times where a tree or leaf or something is obstructing a cutscene and sometimes there will be a mech in the background screaming over the NPC talking, which I'm sure is due to the cutscenes being real-time which is still pretty impressive. Now are these errors all the time? No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that some times these things happened and that I felt it needed ironed out but I wouldn't call this half baked or an unfinished product or anything, it's nowhere near that level. I get that there are so many NPCs that it's hard to account for them all with facial animations but whenever they're talking, it seems pretty static and sometimes the lips don't line up. There's this one guy who says that he got lost in a sandstorm but he's standing in snow. Again, little nitpicks in an otherwise great game.

Now, I got this game for free as a Playstation promotion but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be great, I played a little bit of that Ratchet & Clank reboot that was offered and I wasn't impressed, I quit after the first few worlds and was glad I didn't buy it at launch, (despite being a classic PS2 R&C fan) but we're not here to review that. I also played Abzu and loved it but it was short so it was definitely worth a play but maybe not 60$ (I actually think it's 20$ at this point though). With this game, it's the whole complete edition with DLC and everything, it has the length, so it really just boils down to "Would I have spent money on it otherwise?"

I think I would've if I knew more about it because I think it just got better and better after that first part of the game. It's marketed a bit differently than what I ended up getting but I found myself pouring hours into this game and loving it for one reason or another. I actually bought Shadow of the Colossus along with it (which is considered a cult classic) but I liked Horizon so much better, definitely worth its full price in my opinion. (So your promotion worked on me Sony, congrats) It has its problems but the potential is there and I feel like a sequel would probably iron out a lot of my troubles with it, so it's definitely a franchise worth investing into.

If you're interested in what I thought of the DLC alone (if you didn't get the Ultimate edition and are wondering if the extra content is worth it) I have a separate post that goes into that here.

[afoxysunny]

Robbie as Bullock

This post will probably differ from the others in structure and be a lot longer for one big reason

When choosing Miraculous for the Lazytown characters i really wanted to only use ones that we've already seen in use in Miraculous Ladybug and know how they work from there.

For Robbie i broke that rule. I don't really remember what first made me consider it but it probably had to do with the fact that i think the Ox Miraculous, just aesthetically, would fit Robbie perfectly!

So for this one i had to start from scratch completely, no reference for a canon hero design, no idea what power or weapon he'd get, no clue what the phrase to transform could be.

Of cause i used the most references for him but here are the ten i found most important

Obviously i don't expect any of my speculations to become even remotely canon once we find out what Stompp, the Ox Miraculous, actually does but i hope it at least makes sense for now.

I like how I've drawn all the others standing head on to face the camera and Robbie just leans there. That's because you have to think he doesn't care, the little Tsundere

Concept Overview:

In the Miraculous Ladybug episode we meet all the Kwamis, including Stompp, he is the most actively concerned about Nooroo so now that the Butterfly Kwami is back I'm sure Stompp would want to stay around him. With Sportacus partnering with Nooroo, teaming up Robbie and Stompp made the most sense to them.

Design Notes Incoherent Thoughts I had to justify what I'm Drawing:

Purple and Blue - it amused me no end that with the choices i made blue Sportacus got a purple Kwami and purple Robbie got a blue kwami. I did kinda dislike at first how little blue the costume has in comparison to purple but i decided i don't have to make a decision because apparently the canon show can't make up its mind about Stompp's colour either. The blue and purple can always be swapped if i decide i don't like it

Harness - Ox' are hard working animals, mostly used to pull heavy objects. For that purpose they get strapped into a harness. Obviously i had to include that in this design, the chain hanging from the collar around his neck has a similar purpose (it only occured to me way too late how kinky it looks please ignore that)

Cape? No cape? - because of the imbalance in colours i briefly considered giving him a cape like a Matador would have but only for a second or so. I wanted to keep Robbie's iconic body shape untouched by a bunky cape, also the few times he wore a cape in the show he really struggled with it and also i think it would've clashed with the tail

Tail - speaking of which, an ox' tail has that frizzy end to it but i really liked the chain as his tail so to emulate the thicker part at the end i hung a padlock there. And that really worked. Not only bc that's just how bulls and ox are kept in check with their strength but also because the oblong shape of a combination lock makes for a fitting shape and can be used in universe. You see, Robbie is not that good with just saying what he wants or expressing how he feels. This four letter combination lock is magic and kinda betrays and helps him at the same time. It spells out any given four letter word that fits his mood best at any given moment

Miraculous Nosering - if a Lazytown character would unironically get a nosering, it'd be Robbie. I'm sorry, i don't take criticism on that

Horns - he needed horns. He just did. Look how good he looks with horns! But for real, in Miraculous Ladybug Chat Noir gets actual cat ears so he can get actual horns, also like Chat he the white parts of his eyes turn yellow like Stompp's while keeping his signature grey iris

Hair - ox' are mostly shown with like bangs covering their eyes so i couldn't resist ruffling his usually so perfectly done hair up to make it fall a little like that

Weapon - my first thought of "Miraculous takes cliché traits for animals to base their powers on so i guess bullfighting is the way to go here" made me really sad. This "Sport" is so disgusting i wanted to cry and puke while reading about it. I'll spare you the details but in addition to the Matador in the arena there's other guys too to weaken the bull before the Matador kills it, one of them throws knives. Miraculous Ladybug likes combining weapons with toys so I'm giving him darts. They are fastened to the front of his harness and i think how they can be used is along the lines of, once he zhrows them with his super strength and they pin into something they can only be removed when he allows that, also like the ladybug's jojo they can fly how long and whatever direction he wants, and probably also is able to just manifest them back to himself if ever one gets lost

Miraculous Power - again, just pure speculation here, but the powers we so far know of are all loosely based on an exaggerated cartoon trope of each animal so for the ox that is hard working and persistent and for the bull that'd be aggression and tunnel vision. While typing this i get the urge to add blinders to his mask but i digress. So i made up an exaggerated power that'd fit both but when i told my test group (two people) one said "oh, kinda like Bloodhound from Apex Legends" and the ozher said "so like hunter's mark from DnD" i play neither so i don't know but maybe you do do that's the short version of the explanation xD his power is based on the cartoonish depiction of a bull seeing something that bothers him and then charging at it for as long as he can until he gets it. Once Robbie focuses on an enemy or someone running away or someone he is following for whatever reason he can use his power to keep track of them. No matter how far away they go or where they try to hide. It sounds OP as shit but think of the Snake and Bunny who can both time travel and then say that again. The catch is he needs to use it while that person is still in clear sight for him so i think it balances a little better

Name:

Do you know the difference between a Bull and an Ox? Well, let me mansplain it to you anyway

The reason i kept switching between drawing inspiration from bulls and ox' is because it's the same animal. Those are both names for an adult male cow. The only difference being that an ox is castrated and a bull is not. Stompp is the Ox Miraculous so tough nuts Robbie, literally. But making babies isn't really on his to do list anyway with Sportacus as his partner so who cares.

Anyway, I had the design done and like always i struggled a lot with naming it

But then i learned a Bullock is not only a cool word that seems to be a mix of bull and lock like his design is but it also is the official name of a male cow too young to be castrated yet! Isn't that just perfect? I think it is

Also I'll include in this section the phrases one needs to speak to have Stompp transform them into this Ox themed Superhero and for the power to activate. If you think of something more fitting for either please let me know!

Transformation:

simple version - horns up / horns down

More detailed - time to charge / time to loaf

(charging is when a bull starts running blindly at something; loafing is the professional farmer term for a resting cow)

Power: Target Charge, Locked On, or my personal favorite option Head-On. Again going with the more in depth terminology, that's what the running style of a bull is called when he's chatging at a target

Story:

Robbie lived in Lazytown but when the kids grew louder and older and he got more annoyed wih not having his peace and quiet he just up and left. He spent a lot of time traveling around, living wherever it was comfortable and leaving when it wasn't anymore. Thanks to being an inventor and overall talanted crafty person he got by pretty easily as there was always a company running on "hire a lazy person for an important job, they'll find the easiest solution for the most complicated problems" so he never really had to worry.

Whether by coincidence or fate Robbie and Sportacus run into each other and despite Robbie being a little difficult they both immediately feel strangely drawn to one another. With time going by they meet more often, at first more or less by chance but eventually they plan to meet up regularly. They might have very different ways of doing it but they share a common lifestyle: helping out others to live a comfortable and fulfilling life.

Only after Sportacus was chosen to be the new Guardian of the Miracle Box he finally asks Robbie to join him, full time by his side traveling in his airship around the world wherever they may be needed. Of cause only for moral support and such, obviously. You see, they always enjoyed each others company and sort of over time eased into a relationship like coexistence but neither of them ever really acknowledged that. Only when Sportacus got Nooroo's power to sense other people's feelings that barrier of miscommunication fully fell. Robbie is incredibly bad with conveying his emotions but now Sportacus can sense that he has potentially the most powerful and purest emotions he ever encountered. Not only is each feeling of his powerful but when there is more than one at play they don't mix together and muddy each other but instead boost even more. He knew before that he wanted Robbie to join him but that discovery made it a necessity.

Despite not being able to actually say so Robbie is thrilled to come along. Only over time and with a lot of painfully slow conversations they manage to agree to make their relationship official.

Stompp, the sassy Ox Kwami, regularly bursts out of the Miracle Box to want to check on Nooroo and slowly he and Robbie bond over telling Sportacus and Nooroo to go easier on themselves and let a little responsibility get taken off their shoulders so eventually they team up and Bullock is created.

Thanks to Robbie's hard work to better himself with Sportacus' help, Stompp's magic transformation provides him with a tail that conveys his feelings for him.

When they hear that Lazytown has been wiped clean of grown-ups Sportacus immediately flies them over there so Robbie can check on his hometown. Finding only a few children, now teens, left there Robbie recognizes them and the two form the plan to give them Miraculous' too so they can help to find their lost family, friends and neighbors and fight together to bring them back.

Wow that was so much to read and you did it! I'm so impressed and thankful! You deserve a pat on the back (if you want one) and a cookie and/or sportscandy on your way out

[cancerbiophd]

Hi Julia! I'm just starting my PhD, and my supervisor gives me a lot of freedom and independence. While I appreciate that, I'm not sure where to start tackling my project. I've done a lot of reading, but I'm having trouble designing good experiments. Do you have any suggestions?

Hi anon!

I have a post here outlining one possible path to take when designing your thesis project–however, it does involve communicating with the PI almost every step of the way. I do think that PI involvement is pretty crucial for the development of a PhD student, so if there’s a way for you to have weekly one-on-one meetings with your PI, I think you’ll find that would be really beneficial. 

In the meantime, let’s talk about experimental design. It’s a very important skill we learn during grad school, and one of those skills that separates someone with a PhD and someone without. It’s part of the “Ph” part of the degree, after all! So if you’re not getting the mentoring necessary to learn how to properly design experiments, then that’s a huge foundation of your PhD that’s missing. If your program (or any related programs) has a class on experimental design, it would be worth taking (I took two different experimental design courses, on top of regular guidance from my PI, and years later I’m still learning so much about the nuances of experimental design). Regardless, as a minimum requirement for a PhD mentor, your PI should be teaching you proper experimental design and results interpretation. Otherwise they’re just a warm money-pumping-lab-having body for the next 4+ years and that’s not what you, a PhD student, are here for, or deserve.

However, I do understand the reality that is busy PIs and large labs. If your PI is really hard to get a hold of, you can try finding other mentors to help guide you, such as: other senior members in the lab (like the lab manager, research specialists, post-docs, even other grad students), your committee members, the PI next door even. I get advice from as many people as I can, because sometimes even if my PI is available, she may not have the best expertise in certain situations. 

As a supplement, I would also recommend finding online resources on experimental design. A quick google search of “experimental design in biology” lead me to this awesome video from Khan Academy that covers experimental design at its simplest. 

Now here’s a quick and dirty 4-step crash-course on experimental design (from my experience in doing biology research):

1) Start with a testable and feasible research question:

This is based off a hypothesis/prediction you make, which in turn is based off the knowledge gaps in your research area

It can be as simple (one experiment) or as complex (aka the focus of your entire dissertation) as you want it to be

It should be testable: you actually have a way to figure out the answer

And also feasible: given your time, ethics, and resources (eg. equipment available, funding, people who can help you)

This is something that reading the literature, or talking to your PI, can help with. 

(Divide up your research question into sub-questions if necessary)

“Yes” and “No” research questions are totally ok. Sometimes it’s as simple as “does my cell line constitutively express this receptor, yes or no?” or “does Treatment X induce my cell to secrete Protein Z, yes or no?”

2) Come up with a method to answer the question:

I like to first go into “fantasy” mode. Like, what would the perfect assay be to answer this? I pretend it’s the year 3050 and whatever I think of we can do. For example: “ah if only i had xray vision and the ability to tell apart a human tumor cell from mouse bone marrow and can see just how many of these tumor cells end up in the bone with my naked eye!” Thinking like this first lets you get to the bottom of “what do we need to solve this problem?” 

Ok, time to go back to the present. We can’t see tumor cells through bone with the naked eye, but what do we have that allows us to do so indirectly? How can I tell the difference between a human cell and a mouse cell, and also quantify that? 

Another part of the design process where reading the literature and/or talking to your PI and other researchers would help with, especially if you don’t know what you don’t know. 

Like if I have no idea that something like intracellular fluorescent labeling and flow cytometry existed to solve my question at hand, I couldn’t even use that in my experiment

Determining the method you will use is sometimes the most time-consuming part imo. If it’s something you or the lab haven’t done before, you’ll need to do a lot of research into the methods (what’s the best reagent? concentration of reagent? do we have access to equipment necessary? do i need specific controls? what’s the specificity and sensitivity of this assay? are there background issues i have to contend with (eg. autofluorescence))? It may take a few tries with optimization before getting the method down for your purposes. And as you can see, it can be super involved, so getting advice and help from your PI or another expert would be really helpful (and time saving!)

3) Design the experiment on paper with the proper variables, controls, and replicates:

I like to pretend I’m solving a murder mystery and I have to convince the jury that Suspect A, with weapon C, is the one who dun it. How do I go about designing an experiment that will eliminate all possible suspects and murder weapons (and thus convince the jury)? 

Sometimes it helps to draw a predicted results graph of your experiment; seeing it in its “final” form may help you realize some controls or treatment combos may be missing. 

Once you’ve designed the experiment, go over it with your PI (or another expert), to make sure it’s sound.

The number of replicates (technical vs biological) you may need will depend on statistical analyses, like power analyses and what kind of statistical experimental design (eg. one-tailed vs two-tailed) you’ve decided beforehand. If this all sounds new, then that’s something you’ll need expert advice on (like from your PI), or take a class in (like biostats), or do lots and lots of independent research (perhaps the most time-consuming and mistake-prone choice). At a minimum though, we always need at least 3 values to perform any stats (so if you’re just running something up the flagpole, n=3 is a quick and dirty thing to do first). 

4) Predict the outcomes of each of your variables and controls and do some thought exercises

Ask yourself if these predicted results will answer your question

If it only answers part of your question, what else do you need?

If it doesn’t really answer your question, what should be changed? 

What if the opposite of what you predicted happens? What would that mean? 

If all this seems super overwhelming, then I think it’s a sign to seek out specific help on experimental design, like your PI or a class. Again, it’s part of your PhD training, but it’s not something you need to, or should, learn all by your lonesome self. 

Good luck with your training and research! I hope you find a good path forward.