#also if anyone wants to help out a struggling new blogger by giving out a promo it'll be highly appreciated lol

[esther-dot]

What upsets me the most about the dumbass Sansa vs Arya thing (other than it only existing because antis hate Sansa that much) is that... what does it add to the story? This isn't fandom stuff, this is something antis genuinely want for the story, but what does it ADD? What is the POINT? What value does these 2 siblings fighting against each other would give to the story? To the message and theme? It's even more worthless than the boring Cleganebowl shit.

Sansa and Arya, two siblings from the main family of the series that the story centers on, fighting and hating each other is detrimental to literally EVERYTHING. ASOIAF is LOADED with family dynamics that are actually toxic and destructive to the members. We have the Targaryens, we have the Greyjoys, we have the LANNISTERS. Westeros is so bereft of families that love each other, making the ONE family that genuinely love each other and doing their best to reunite hate each other is so... just spit on GRRM and the effort he put into House Stark, why don't you?

I don't want to sound like a pretentious ass, but these people should not read a series like ASOIAF if they're gonna let their petty feelings and opinions impact the series as a whole. They can hate Sansa, but if they hate her to the point where it impacts their reading of the series, then put it down and go read something simpler. Or just stick to fanfics because their disturbing hate fantasy will never be canon, sorry antis

(about this ask)

I talked about this before and now can’t find the post, but Arya and Jon fans who hate Sansa are holding her responsible for the problems with society that Martin is criticizing. They are missing that society is being criticized from different angles to allow us to see all the ways it’s hurting people. Rather than realizing it isn’t the little girl who caused their pain, with them we are getting two critiques (coming from different directions) of their world. Jon is excluded, Arya is expected to conform.

Jon wants in, Arya wants out.

And of course, Sansa suffers as well. She may fulfill the ideal in a way that Arya cannot, but that doesn’t save her. We have Elia and Lyanna which is another picture of conformity/non-conformity —both of them die. There is a much larger part of the story here that is the driving force of what these characters suffer, it’s a shame to dismiss all of that in order to hate on Sansa.

I have no gatekeeping instinct. I’m happy to read different takes (within reason — absolutely no Sansa hate which is why I don’t do much with anyone beyond our corner), I have read and written Martin critical stuff, I don’t mind people coming away with different interpretations. I enjoy that (within reason), and that’s a part of who I am beyond fandom so that isn’t gonna change. I simply decide, “well, I certainly never want to hear from that blogger/that part of the fandom again,” but as far as I know, they’re an angry 13yo who will reread the series in a year or two and realize, oh, the Sansa and Arya conflict is created by external forces, and actually, they can understand the pressures Sansa struggled with as well. I’m a big fan of leaving room for growth, and literature has a special way of allowing us to see things in new ways and helping us evolve as I individuals. I’d never be in favor of taking it away from anyone no matter how much I think they misunderstand it. You never know what the future holds and if one day, they’ll get it.

Also, I don’t have a perfect grasp on what Martin is doing myself. The endgame of some of the characters strikes me as….uh, less realistic, and more, whimsical, so unless I’m gonna throw out my books, I’m not gonna pretend to be more deserving than any one else. I will filter and block though because when it comes to Sansa haters:

making the ONE family that genuinely love each other and doing their best to reunite hate each other is so... just spit on GRRM and the effort he put into House Stark, why don't you?

So, uh, not to annoy you further, anon, but I didn’t call what I had written “wish-fulfillment” for nothing. 😬 I definitely think expecting the Starks to kill each other is absurd, but as a Jonsa, I’m not sure how Arya would be able to accept that relationship, and I do wonder if it’s Martin’s way of allowing tension and conflict within the Starks even upon their reunion. Maybe I worry for nothing, but Jon is Arya’s person, he made her feel love and accepted, for him to be in love with Sansa…I worry that Arya would feel displaced, and how quickly Martin would find a resolution there.

Many others have previously looked at how Martin seems to have no problem writing brothers / guys having healthy relationships, but likes to have sisters at odds. There’s a dearth of healthy female relationships, so it’s an opportunity for him to break that pattern, and if Arya was accepting of it I suppose it could be a contrast to the Cat/LF/Lysa mess. That may be the goal he’s working towards, and to your point, that adds to the story in sadly lacking area. All the same, while I do think the Starks love and will be loyal to each other, I’m not sure how warm and cozy things will be on the page? I have some concerns about what he’s making room for. But that is the benefit of being in a fandom with so many emotionally mature fic writers who value and prioritize female relationships. I get to read healthy relationships either way!

[hoarding-niffler]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'll try leaving politics out. I really have nowhere else on the internet to socialize anymore since breaking from tumblr, and rn in my life situation the only chance I have of making friends is online. Sorry this is so long, I hope this much text isn't off-putting. In any case I appreciate seeing bloggers like you who keep on enjoying the game and hp universe despite all of this.

I'm nonbinary, nonwhite, studying to convert to Judaism, and I've been obsessed with hogwarts since I read the books as a child. I can't not interact with this world I love so much, not just as an escape to real life. I'm autistic and had a bad childhood and the books were the only thing that helped me deal, and now I mainly interact via fanfiction that essentially 'fixes' things from the books, and watch the movies. At this point I feel I can't live without the HP universe in my life, it is a core part of me. It bothers me that people in my own communities would essentially cast me out, because I play the game and have wanted something like this since I was a kid, that I'd be considered a bad person and cut off from necessary support. As if being accused of bigotry and hurt feelings is the only consequence I could face.

I already deal with a mild fear that toxic ex friends from on here will find my new blog, because of the way they went about ending our friendship. I'm afraid if they find my blog, which is loosely connected through a few old friends, they'll see it and put me on blast/ screenshot my blog/ talk about me with their friends like they used to. Like I used to (which I regret) because that's behavior that people in my 'community' encouraged when someone 'needed calling out' even if it was a mistake, or a well intentioned attempt at conversing and understanding someone else's pov to learn. I'm afraid to post screenshots on my main, or attach my HL sideblog to my main, in case it gets me hateful interactions which I have no heart to deal with anymore. It seems like hating this game and anyone who plays it is the stance of the majority of online LGBT spaces rn. I don't wanna hide it, but also need support from online spaces. I even feel bad playing and haven't gotten very far because this has all cast a negative feeling on the game for me.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this and it honestly shouldn't be like that, but I'm well aware that things are nearly never black and white. There's a whole lot of grey in the world and most people do not know how to deal with it. That's how you get bullies, haters, scapegoats, and the list goes on.

I did not grow up with the books but I did grow up with the movies and I rewatch them regularly. I also love to read tons of fix-it fanfics (my favourite character is snape, of course, I need alternate universe fics where he survives lmao). I feel like most people hate so much on others enjoying the world of Harry Potter and therefore now Hogwarts Legacy because they are notoriously online and forgot what life is like in the real world. Things are not as simple as "Oh, you play this? Then you're EVIL". A lot of times, just like in your case, franchises give us support and strength, because life is fucking hard sometimes. Most times. Especially as a minority, I can't even imagine what fears you must face. And instead of realising that NOTHING we consume is pure and that people should look closer whether a person uses a franchise to gain strength from it or to spread hate, people rather point with their fingers and gatekeep their own communities, not realising how much damage they do on a broader scale. It's not only the people they keep out, it's also the people who listen in on this infighting and either get turned off from ever engaging with those communities (in positive ways) or the wrong people use exactly that to fuel their own hateful agendas. It's damaging all around, all because people prefer to take the easy route and accuse rather than discuss and understand.

Honestly, I get why you in your specific situation can't really say "fuck it" and ignore any possible consequences but I also think you shouldn't deprive yourself of what brings you genuine enjoyment. My suggestion would be to create a completely new main Tumblr blog with a second mail address and then a sideblog for your HP needs. And considering how you can look through the Hogwarts Legacy tag and finds SO MANY active players and defenders of the game who are, at the same time, completely against JK Terfling's insane views, shows that you can have your cake and eat it too. So far I experienced this community as very supportive and you just block everyone who gets aggressive. It makes your online experience so much more enjoyable, believe me.

You will not be able to stop people from talking about you. But you can stop it from affecting you as much as it does and seek out people who wouldn't do that to you in the first place.

Man, this got long and rambly and I don't know if anything of what I wrote makes sense BUT

you're always welcome in my asks and I bet the same goes for other Hogwarts Legacy fans on here. We got each other's back.

[taersformymin]

I remade guys :) @jincrocsmeup

[compassionatereminders]

Self-care Cheat Sheet - a guide for people who can’t do exactly what they’re supposed to

Exercise:

If you can, go to the gym or go for a run or a bike ride. I know you don’t feel like it, but you’ll feel better afterwards both physically and mentally.

If you can’t go to the gym, exercise in your room. Maybe follow a simple Youtube video or do some exercises you know well with whatever tools you have - and if that’s all too hard, simply move a bit to some of your favorite songs for a while.

If you can’t go for a run, go for a walk. Take your headphones on and listen to music or a podcast while walking to make it less boring, or maybe bring one of your friends! It doesn’t have to be a long walk. Even if you’re only outside for 10 minutes the fresh air and movement will do you good and clear your mind.

If you can’t go for a walk or exercise otherwise, stand up and do some stretches and walk around your room for a little while. Your body will appreciate a break from sitting at your desk or lying in your bed even if it’s a short one.

If you can’t move that much, just open your window and enjoy some fresh air.

Personal hygiene:

If you can take a shower (even though it’s hard!), do it. You will feel so much better when your hair is not greasy and when you aren’t smelly and sweaty. If you can force the energy, it will be worth the effort.

If you can’t do a full shower routine, simply step into the shower and wash your crotch, ass and armpits. Forget about your hair and forget about shaving. Just quickly wash the most smelly parts. You’ll feel a lot better afterwards.

If you can’t take a shower, wipe your crotch, ass and armpits with wet wipes and then apply deodorant and dry shampoo. It’ll take the worst of the smell and will make you look and feel significantly cleaner.

If you can’t clean yourself at all, at least change out of your dirty clothes and put something comfortable and clean on. It’ll help you feel better.

Dental hygiene:

If you can, brush your teeth for 2 minutes twice a day. I know it’s hard to find the energy and the motivation, but you need to do everything in your power to take care of your teeth. They won’t care whether you have a good reason not to brush them and dental care is often expensive.

Doing it once a day is not a failure and is still a whole lot better than not brushing them! But if you struggle to brush as often as recommended, I recommend investing in an electric toothbrush to make each brushing more effective.

If you can’t brush your teeth for two minutes, brush them for 1 minute or 30 seconds. A short brushing is also still a lot better than nothing!

If you don’t like tooth paste, brushing your teeth without it is still better than not brushing them.

If you don’t like the texture of the tooth brush, look into tooth brushes for kids or surgical tooth brushes which are a lot softer.

If you can’t brush your teeth at all, use a wet wash cloth whenever you can to gently wipe the worst plague build up off your teeth.

If you can’t do that, invest in some mouth wash and gurgle it once a day or buy some of the gum which helps cleaning your teeth and keeping your breath fresh.

If you currently don’t have the energy to do anything for your teeth, at least try to limit your soda and sugar intake so that your lack of brushing won’t be too dangerous.

Eating:

If you can, cook a proper meal. Your body will appreciate you for providing it with the energy it needs to function optimally. If cooking is boring, put on a podcast, a show or some music - or maybe call or invite a friend.

If you can’t cook and you can afford it, order some takeaway. It may feel like a waste of money, but feeding yourself is never a waste and you will feel better once your body gets some nutrients. It doesn’t even have to be the healthiest option. Any food is better than no food.

If you can’t cook or order takeaway, make something very simple. A boring sandwich or instant noodles or a toast will provide you with some energy even if it isn’t that fun or enjoyable to eat.

If you can’t make a sandwich, just eat some bread or some deli meats or maybe some fruit or vegetables separately. You don’t have to actually make the sandwich in order for the meal to count.

If you can’t make a sandwich, eat whatever you have. An apple is better than nothing. A couple slices of cheese are better than nothing. An old chocolate bar is still a lot better than nothing. A dry slice of bread isn’t fun to eat but it is STILL better than nothing. So is a bag of chips.

If you can’t make yourself eat just anything, eat whatever you have (or are able of acquiring and capable of eating). Yes, even if it’s chocolate or ice cream or chips. It’s good to eat healthy when you can, but when it’s a question between not eating at all or eating something unhealthy, unhealthy food always beats an empty stomach. Yes, even if it’s the same things you ate yesterday and the day before.

If you consistently struggle to get enough food down, look into meal replacement shakes/bars and dietary supplements of various kinds. Maybe get some blood work done by your doctor to see what vitamins your diet might be lacking.

(If you have a friend, a partner or a family member who you know likes cooking or who you know has a lot of money don’t be afraid to ask them for help. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind bringing you some leftovers, cooking for you or borrowing you some money for something you’d actually be able to eat if you’re out of other options.)

Sleeping:

If you’re tired and you can, go to bed. Especially if it’s late. Especially if you’re feeling particularly unwell. You cannot function optimally if you do not get a decent amount of sleep, so instead of staying up all night feeling shitty about yourself, put your phone down and get some rest.

If you can’t go to bed, have a nap. Set a timer for when you need to get back on track and allow yourself some rest. You do not have to power through the whole day just because you technically could. It’s okay to take 20 minutes or two hours to catch up on sleep if you’re feeling exhausted, especially if you didn’t get enough sleep last night.

If you can’t sleep at all, just lie down and close your eyes and rest for as long as you can. Studies have shown that even if you don’t sleep, lying down and letting your body and brain rest for a while helps you a lot. If it’s too boring, put on a podcast or music or something. But lie down. Close your eyes. Allow yourself to do nothing.

If you can’t sleep at all for several days, see a doctor and look into options for medical treatment. Sleep is important and if you consistently can’t get any, you need to act on it and try out various treatment options.

Socializing and connecting:

If you can, invite a friend, a partner, a family member, an acquaintance or anyone you like over. Have a nice talk with them or simply do something together. You may feel like isolating yourself is easier, but us humans are social beings and most of us need regular social interaction to thrive. (Maybe ask for a hug if you want one, physical contact can help a lot on your mood!)

If you live with someone, spend some time with them. Even if they’re not your favorite person and you’re not that close, having a conversation about something superficial is still a lot better than having no conversations. Who knows - maybe they can actually be pretty good company if you take the time to talk to them for more than two minutes! If talking is too hard, maybe ask them to play a game or watch a movie with you - or simply spend some time in the same room as them while doing your separate things. (Obviously you can disregard this tip if you live with toxic or abusive people!)

If you live alone and can’t get anyone to come over right now, give someone a call. Video chat if phone calls make you too anxious.

If that is too much, send someone you care about a text/message. Ask them what they’re doing. Tell them that you miss them. While talking to someone online or through texts isn’t exactly the same as actually talking to them, it will still help remind you that you aren’t alone and that there’s people who care about you.

If you don’t know who to text and don’t have a lot of friends, look into what opportunities you have for meeting new people. Maybe there’s a discord server for people who you have something important in common with. Maybe there’s a support group for people with the same mental or physical health issues as you nearby. Maybe you can find some lessons or meet ups for people who share your interests. Look into it.

If you need to talk to someone, anyone, don’t be afraid to reach out. Call that help line. Text that person you miss. Send an ask or a DM to that tumblr blogger you like. I promise you that even if you aren’t close to a lot of people right now, someone will be willing to listen and care. You just have to reach out.

(If you have a pet, cuddle it and play with it! Physical affection is physical affection regardless of whether it’s coming from a human or a dog. Friendship is still friendship if the two beings sharing it aren’t from the same species!)

[explodingcrenelation]

I'm sitting by an open window and the air is cool and soft, and smells of damp earth. The sky is brightly overcast. The toads are singing their high-pitched ethereal trills, and songbirds are whistling and chattering to each other. New leaves are sprouting on the bare trees in a haze of red, yellow, and bright green. Flowers are bursting everywhere—daffodils, tulips, trillium—and pink petals are raining down from the apple tree. It's a very soft and good kind of day. One where I'd love nothing more than to curl up in a blanket and read, enjoying the beauty of spring all around.

I guess I'm in the mood to do a bit of a personal update, so here goes. Get to know the blogger a lil bit for those of you who may be new around here. Some difficult stuff, some good stuff. Content warnings in the tags. Here we go.

First the hard stuff. Some of you may or may not know, a couple of years ago my dad died suddenly from a massive heart attack. I was present when he collapsed and gave him CPR as directed by 911 until the paramedics arrived. Dad made it to the hospital and they got his heart going again, but he didn't wake up after they stabilized him. We took him off life support a few days later when it became evident he wasn't coming back. He passed relatively quickly, but not easily, and it felt to me like I watched him die twice—once when he collapsed, and once at the hospital.

I've been seeing a therapist since then to deal with the trauma memories. Trauma, for those of you who aren't real sure how to define it, is usually an event characterized by "too much, too fast" plus some element of "something was 'supposed' to happen that didn't." In the case of my dad, for example, saving his life was put in my hands and I was totally unprepared for it (both physically and mentally)—I tried my hardest and I believed I should have been able to save him, but he died anyway.

Therapy started with EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), which is hard to explain because therapists don't know exactly why it works, only that it does. It involves eye movement and vibration signaling on different sides of the body while revisiting traumatic memories. It's worth a search if you're interested in learning more. (And a side note, this is definitely the kind of therapy they should have shown Bucky receiving. This is exactly the kind of treatment he would have needed, and I'm high key considering writing it into a fic.) EMDR doesn't make trauma memories go away, but it does help to soften them (put them into past tense instead of present tense) and help your brain learn how to cope when they inevitably pop up.

Anyway, for me, EMDR graduated into talk therapy and then virtual sessions, getting further and further apart until I felt ready to strike off on my own. I finished up my sessions this month. Trauma wasn't the only reason I was seeing a therapist, but I went about as far with this particular therapist as I could since her focus was primarily trauma and grief. If I seek out another therapist in the future, it will be for issues surrounding more generalized depression, anxiety, and coping with queer identity.

Now that I've made that step, I'm feeling optimistic but also very tentative. Kind of like the cast has come off, but I still have to learn how to walk again. The wounds are still tender—especially since my dad's death isn't the only thing I've been trying to cope with over the last few years. I won't detail everything, because it's way too much. Suffice it to say I've felt so broken and stripped down to the bone for so long, and all of it exacerbated by our shared trauma and isolation caused by the pandemic.

So, yeah, it's a little bit scary being out here on my own after I've been used to the support of a therapist. The thing is I'm not all better simply because my therapist and I both agreed we've gotten as much out of our sessions as we could. I'm still going to have to work diligently to keep growing and to try to... process the things that are holding me back from, at the most basic level, properly expressing myself to others and taking care of myself. Beyond those basic goals, I want to keep growing and keep getting better so I can live more fully. If I can.

But I've learned that I need to take baby steps. Break things up into minuscule tasks. Do things that may be challenging, but are good for me, a little at a time. I'm trying to read more, chapter by chapter. Having a no-pressure book group with my friends has really helped on that front. I also rejoined OBOD (the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids)—which I started working with idk maybe seven years ago and then dropped when I first started really struggling with my health. My OBOD tutor is aware of my situation, supportive, and is totally okay with me working at my own pace—which I really need, since it's taken me about three months just to revisit the first three lessons. It's hard for me to get myself into the meditative, contemplative, spiritual, and creative space OBOD deals with, but once I'm there I can feel how much it feeds my soul. I'm also looking into doing volunteer work with a nearby nature preserve, once I have both my vaccinations and the organization starts accepting in-person volunteer work again.

So. I'm trying. And I'm trying to let that trying be enough.

I'm also trying to learn how to... cultivate my time better. To cut back on things that don't feed my wellbeing (like doom scrolling), and give myself more time for what I love, like reading, writing, drawing, and communicating with friends. The trick being to break up that time into manageable chunks. Because if I give myself a whole day of "writing time," for example, then I get overwhelmed. I need smaller, more clearly-defined goals I can achieve without totally exhausting myself every time I sit down to a task.

Nowhere to Go But Home is one of my creative projects I really, really want to get back to—for myself, not just for the people who want to know how the story ends. It's at the top of my list, and it's never really left my mind for the years it's been sitting idle, but there's just enough of it left to be truly daunting. It's not a small task, and it's one I'm going to have to undertake, like, one bite-sized piece at a time.

I made up a to-do list for the story earlier this year. And it includes some shiny long-term goals like formatting it into a free e-book for anyone who wants to download a copy. And today I feel like it's time to revisit the to-do list and start trying to set it into motion. I still can't make any promises about end-dates, but maybe if I start small—with tiny little weekly goals/updates, maybe?—I hope that'll be enough to get me going. The same way it's worked for my book club reading and for OBOD.

Anyway, it's on my radar. I'm circling it. And I believe returning to that story in particular—and some other stories I've had percolating—will be part of my long-term healing journey. I'm a bit scared, a bit tentative, still a bit raw, but I'm excited to try, and to see where the road takes me.

[rachelthompsonauthor]

What is social proof? It’s a marketing concept that we are all inadvertently, unknowingly contributing to every time we click on, retweet, like, reply or comment, and share any kind of social media, article, or blog post on the net. Technically, social proof, as defined by Sprout Social is:

The concept that people will follow the actions of the masses. The idea is that since so many other people behave in a certain way, it must be the correct behavior.

Social Proof and Me

As an author, social media is a hugely important part of my author platform, as it is for any writer or blogger. This is how we connect with readers now, even before the pandemic. Virtual, online events are now the norm. Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube Live video discussions are the new book signings. Twitter chats are weekly on any number of topics; I have two of my own, in fact, #SexAbuseChat every Tuesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est and #BookMarketingChat every Wednesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est.

All important for visibility, branding, and most importantly, connection.

However…there’s a limit. I reached my limit over the course of this past year. It didn’t come all at once. It came, little by little, reaching a peak this past month or so.

Why? How? Me, the so-called social media expert?

Access. Like many people, I have issues with the incredible level of access Facebook gives people once we friend them without our consent. PMs (private messages) are automatic, now with the ability for people to call, voice, and video message us, with no option to shut these options to OFF unless we unfriend the person (we can, however, mute a specific conversation). Technically, we do give them consent in the legal mumbo jumbo we all agreed to when we joined back in the 2010s.

I am not okay with this. And Facebook doesn’t care. Nobody cares. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, Karen. Shut up, already. Stop your whining, white lady.” I get it. I do. First-world problems.

I counter with: I hear you. It’s also part of my business. A huge part. Here’s why:

As someone who manages over 70+ various social media accounts as part of my BadRedhead Media business, plus my own accounts as well, Facebook requires I have a personal account in order to manage all those other Pages. I do understand why, particularly with all the ridiculousness of the past four years with the abundance of fake accounts, fake news, and such.

As a survivor of sexual abuse and stalking, this is ultra-concerning to me. So, what happened this past month or so? Suffice it to say, one person repeatedly tried calling me. I never pick up Facebook calls, especially if I don’t know you. Another left me a few voice messages saying they were offended by something.

Yet another left me another message in ALL SHOUTY CAPS that she didn’t find what I posted inspirational enough and she expected better from someone who is “supposedly on the side of authors.”

Oh, and there is the one lady who started replying on ALL my posts to the kind people who did comment that she didn’t think I replied often enough or to her satisfaction.

Well. I’ve been criticized before. You should read some of my 1-star reviews. There’s plenty!

But, for whatever reason, this struck a chord. I got up in my feels. I cried. I talked with one of them and we worked it out because we like and respect each other’s work in the mental health space. The others I blocked. It’s darn frustrating to donate hours of my time each week to helping writers solely because I want to, only to be told it’s not enough. Like, seriously? Fuck off.

My blood raged. My heart sank. Understandable, right?

But what really made me angry is that I put myself in that position by being available. I accepted that ‘it is what it is.’ This is what the social media platforms have given us, so that’s what I have to work within.

I’m too available. It’s too easy to leave me shitty messages. This is why people hire people like me – to handle this crap for them! So they don’t have to read these ridiculous criticisms from judgy people who apparently have nothing better to do or are having a bad day.

And I get bad days. It’s a damn pandemic. We’re all struggling. Where’s the damn compassion for one another?

I have a dislike/hate relationship with Facebook anyway, since about ten or so years ago when I discovered that a past love had died by suicide by going to his personal profile and seeing, “RIP dude,” messages there. We had spoken early that day. It still haunts me.

So…what to do? I’m claiming my time. I’m not posting to my personal Facebook profile right now. I’m ignoring it. I am checking my Pages and of course, my client Pages. When I feel like I can face it again, I will cull my ‘friends’ down from *checks real quick* 4385 people to maybe, I don’t know, the few hundred in my groups, many of whom I do know and treasure.

Social Proof and You

If you’re a writer, social proof matters. This is the world we live in. Publishing is not only writing.

You need to be ‘findable,’ not only on Google, but also on each individual social platform, so your readers can learn more about you and hopefully, buy your books. If you go the traditional route, publishers and agents want to know how many followers you have (easily upped by buying fake followers or likes from Fiverr or wherever). I suggest not doing that, because:

1) fake followers don’t buy books 

2) it’s usually pretty obvious when you have fake followers because they’re all foreign names, have questionable bios, and no tweets

3) do you really want to start your publishing career with a lie? 

They also want to know what you post, how often, and what your branding is. If you’re an indie author, honestly, the same applies. Social proof is about connection, building relationships, and authenticity. I’ve believed that since I started my business and writing career way back in 2011, and I stand by it now. Start slow, grow slow. It’s not a race.

I’m the furthest thing you’ll even find from a conspiracy theorist – I don’t believe in chemtrails, pizza parlor cabals, or that the earth is flat. However, I am a realist. Watch The Social Dilemma sometime. These huge tech companies share our data without our knowledge or consent (Cambridge Analytics, anyone?). Younger generations are so used to this, they don’t really care – ask them.

(My kids think having a chip implanted in their hands with all their data is a fabulous idea. “So much easier than having to talk and repeat everything over and over. Just scan me and be done with it,” says my daughter Anya (21). “Agree,” grunts my son, Lukas (15). Buy stuff, go to the doctor, whatever. Scan and go. Talk with any GenZ kid, you’ll likely get a similar answer. They’ve been tracked since birth everywhere. They don’t know life without a computer, tablet, or phone in their hands.)

Know that whatever we do, it’s all part of each platforms’ AI, and they share data, which is why that darling pair of shoes you just saw on Amazon is now showing up on Google, Facebook, Twitter, and every website you visit going forward. It’s all about the money, and they all get a piece of that affiliate link.

Every bit of every click is recorded, even when you’re watching videos on YouTube, or a subscription service like Netflix, or perusing goods on Amazon. It’s all connected. I’m not shocked or surprised by any of this, are you?

It’s Not Personal

What people say to us and about us is ultimately incredibly revealing about them. We know this, at an intellectual, psychological, and emotional level. Still, when people say mean things, it hurts. We’re human.

Does it matter in the overall scope of our lives? Who can say. It matters at that moment. It can matter when it comes to overall visibility when you’re marketing your book(s) or trying to get that book contract or interview. Only you can say if it matters to you.

Already a longtime fan of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz, I took a moment to reorient myself with this one agreement: Don’t take anything personally. I also stumbled across an excellent short and entertaining TEDTalk by Frederick Imbo. His main message to stop taking things personally is two-fold;

It’s not about me. Look at the other person’s intention and

It IS about me. Give yourself some empathy. Speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to how you feel and be vulnerable with your needs.

I’m glad I was able to, inadvertently, employ point #2 and work out some issues with one of the people by telling him what he said made me cry. He apologized. I apologized. We talked it through and we’re still friends.

Ultimately, social media is what we contribute to it. What we make it. How much we allow of it into our lives. Social proof is going along with the tide. I’ve been in this space since 2008. Being connected to others is a big part of the work I do to help and support not only other writers, but also other childhood sexual abuse survivors. However, I’ve reached that point. I knew it was coming.

I’m not shutting my doors. I’m just adding a screen. With a strong lock.

***

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

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The post What Is Social Proof and Does It Matter, Really? appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

via Rachel Thompson

[allforhader]

I’m in Love with An Uptown Girl

Aaron Conners x (F) Reader

Requested By: @sunflosver

Warnings: Langauge, Smut

I hate the subway sometimes. This shit is fucking crowded 24/7.

Aaron held onto the top railing as the subway takes forever to get to his stop. He tends to people watch since New York has quite the diverse crowd. When the next stop came he watches this girl give her seat up for the old lady, nice to know not every New Yorker is an asshole. He watches her stumble as the subway moves before she could grab any rail but once she did she laughs at herself.

She sees the bright side of things at least...

As the subway continues on its route, Aaron checked his phone for any emails regarding an upcoming award ceremony when he stops to listen to the humming. He laughs a bit to himself before moving closer when the subway stopped again as the humming came from the girl he was...really just admiring.

“Uptown girl...she’s been living in her uptown world...” Y/N sways singing softly just mouthing the next line when she looked up and screamed startling herself and Aaron.

“Sorry—didn’t mean to...”

“No sorry. You just weren’t there before” Y/N laughs a bit kind of embarrassed she yelled in the subway train knowing a lot of people are pissed about their day. “Sorry”

“It’s okay, just. Yeah. No I’m sorry for startling you. Didn’t mean to” Aaron states catching the upper railing when the train moved again. “Just like the song you are listening to”

“Oh...you saw me lip syncing...”

“And humming a bit-“

“To Uptown Girl” Y/N smiles nervously laughing. “Yeah that’s a bit embarrassing”

“No no! Not at all...it’s honestly my favorite song”

“Really? I honestly thought I was the only one” Y/N smiles up at Aaron. “Because yknow. People listen to...well annoying stuff these days”

“Hey they all aren’t bad just-“

“The oldies are my favorite” The two said in unison as it sparked something between the two.

“Hey I was gonna grab some dinner...do you want to tag along? Talk more about the good songs of the 80s?”

“Yeah I’d like that, but first...you wanna tell me what your name is...Uptown Girl?” Aaron smiles catching a laugh from Y/N.

“It’s Y/N, and you?”

“Aaron”

“Hmm...” Y/N looks away smiling. “I like that name”

Aaron continues to have a smile on his face enjoying the small moment that’s going to have plenty of more as the night goes on.

The two found themselves in Central Park as Y/N watches Aaron enjoy what they got. She laughs at his over-reactions over the food but she thought it was cute a little.

“How the fuck did I not know about The Halal Guys sooner? I’ve lived here for most of my life” Aaron laughs continuing to eat his lamb over rice.

“Stick with me and you’ll know about all the good food joints” Y/N smiles taking a bite of one of her falafel patties from her platter.

“Let me guess...you’re a food blogger and you review all the spots in New York”

“Somethings gotta get me out of the underground”

“The fuck that’s supposed to mean?” Aaron laughs taking a sip of his beer as Y/N smiles showing the magazine cover on her phone of Aaron with Lebron. “Shit. I hated that photo shoot by the way”

“I bet. Besides. To answer the underground thing, and then the magazine cover...I work for Admission and Records for the general hospital and that’s in the basement level. At least for the hospital in Manhattan.” Y/N states as she sets her beer down. “We get magazines with docs on them all the time. I just had a weird suspicion and had to confirm it”

“Well...not to sound weird. But do you like what you see?” Aaron laughs making Y/N let one out ending with a smile.

“I do, I really do” Y/N smiles watching Aaron stand up from the bench holding his hand out in front of her.

“Wanna get out of here?”

Y/N looks at his hand for a moment before smiling and taking it into hers.

“Lead the way doc”

Uptown girl

After a short cab ride, and a very silent elevator ride. Y/N pushes herself against Aaron feeling his hands rest on the small of her back. He presses his lips against hers without any hesitation.

She's been living in her uptown world

I bet she's never had a backstreet guy

The two stumbled in the hallway laughing as they continued to kiss one another not caring if any neighbor steps out to see them. Aaron suddenly picked Y/N up pinning her against his door feeling her wrap her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. She admires him for a moment before going back to what they were doing.

I bet her mama never told her why

During their make out against the door, Y/N parts from Aaron reaching into his back pocket for his keys. Aaron immediately took his chance pressing his lips against her neck as she struggles to unlock the door without looking.

“Aaron I can’t—-Oh” Y/N stopped herself feeling her face flush when Aaron started to bite leaving his mark. “A-Ah...” she tried to contain herself when Aaron started to bite and trail his hands up her back under her shirt.

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl

She's been living in her white bread world

Y/N finally got the door unlocked as Aaron held her waist pulling her close so she can get the door open without falling back. Once they were in his apartment she moved her legs back to the floor feeling him let go. Y/N immediately kicked off her shoes taking off her jacket as Aaron closed the door. He stood there watching Y/N pull her shirt off over her head tossing it to the side spotting the man staring at her.

As long as anyone with hot blood can

“Going to continue standing there looking pretty? Or” Y/N smirks walking closer to Aaron tugging at his pants by the belt loops. “are you going to help me out of my jeans?” she whispers into his ear before moving her hands up his shirt.

“God aren’t you a wild one” Aaron laughs taking his belt off as he also kicked off his shoes.

And now she's looking for a downtown man

That's what I am

Y/N closes the space between them kissing Aaron once again. He couldn’t stop thinking about how soft her lips were, soon giving off a small moan to her biting his bottom lip.

The two quickly made their way into the bedroom as Aaron lifted Y/N laying her on the bed towering her. He unbuttoned her jeans taking them off along with her panties before looking Y/N dead in the eye making her confused.

“Aaron I-“ Y/N gasps when Aaron inserted two fingers and began pumping slowly gradually getting faster making her arch her back off the bed moaning.

Aaron enjoying himself felt Y/N’s hands end up on the back of his head pulling him down to kiss her even deeper than before. He continued to pump his fingers making her moan in his mouth.

And when she knows

What she wants from her time

Y/N carefully pushes him back blushing heavily feeling her body heat up.

“Are you going...to take me...or what?” She breathes heavily letting out a semi loud gasp Aaron pulled his fingers out standing to his feet on the edge of the bed.

Y/N props herself up by her elbows watching Aaron take off his pants and briefs. She felt her heart race hearing her heart pound in her ears.

“Holy...” She states to the size of his dick looking at him in the eyes. “Do you have a license to wield that weapon?”

Aaron laughs a bit climbing over her again spreading her legs aligning himself at her entrance. Y/N wraps her arms around his neck bringing him down a bit looking him in the eye before bringing her head back when he pushes himself in.

Holy shit...

And when she wakes up

And makes up her mind

After their moment, Y/N laid in the bed staring at the ceiling looking over at Aaron who was still asleep. She propped herself up covering herself in the blanket looking at Aaron once again telling herself this isn’t one of those situations. But something else told her otherwise...fuck her brain. Slipping out of the bed was the easy part, getting dressed in the dark was the hardest knowing most of her clothes are at the front door. Maneuvering in the dark was a whole other challenge as Y/N slammed her knee into the dresser biting her inner cheek to keep herself from yelling. She looks back to see if he woke and he didn’t, finally making her way out.

When Aaron finally woke up he immediately reached over feeling no one beside him. He frowns sitting up looking over to the empty space.

“...I wish she stayed..”

She'll see I'm not so tough

Just because

The end of the week came around and it would’ve been nice having a date to an award ceremony but Aaron couldn’t get Y/N out of his head and would’ve wanted to go with her than any other woman. He steps into the event seeing people enjoy one another’s company introducing themselves. As Aaron mingles with a few other doctors and administration for a few hospitals, he spots someone in the corner of his eye immediately walking over.

“Ah! Dr. Conners!” The lovely old lady caught the man heading over in her direction. “Have you met Y/F/N Y/L/N? She’s in admissions at general in Manhattan. The poor girl busted her knee a week ago and I was just telling her you’re in orthopedics. Maybe you can check it out for the girl’s sake.” She smiles at Aaron as he looked at Y/N with worry but she always kept a smile.

“I told you I’m fine Ms. Henderson” Y/N smiles as the old lady grabbed Aaron’s arm pulling him down a little.

“She’s a lovely girl Aaron. You should...what do the younger crowds say...hit that?”

Y/N snorts hearing that as she turns away to contain her laugh. Aaron smiles a bit patting the old lady’s hand gently.

“Ms. Henderson if you’ll excuse us?”

“Oh of course!” She smiles leaving the two alone.

As Y/N composed herself she smiles at Aaron as he rests his hand on her cheek. She eases into it smiling.

“I was upset when you left...”

“Mm. I knew I should’ve stayed...just thought it was yknow...a heat of the moment kind of fling”

“Oh Y/N...if I’m being honest about my feelings here. You already snuck your way into my heart” Aaron smiles catching a settle blush forming on Y/N’s cheeks.

“I’m glad the feeling is mutual...” Y/N smiles feeling Aaron wrap his arm around her waist bringing her in as she kisses him lovingly.

When they parted Aaron looked Y/N up and down admiring the dress she was in. She smiles before pushing his hand away laughing.

“Don’t pull up my dress”

“She did say you busted your knee...”

“There was just bruising. Let’s just say...you have to move your dresser” Y/N smiles making Aaron laugh a bit bringing her close again.

“What do you say to...Let’s get out of here?” Aaron smiles catching that beautiful smile of hers once again.

“Babe, this is a ceremony where you are also getting an award. It would be rude to leave”

“You’re right, but will you sit with me?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Y/N smiles laughing before kissing his cheek.

Aaron smiles happily taking her hand into his and heading over to where he has to sit for this event. He couldn’t help but keep smiling the entire time, glad she didn’t disappear and came back.

I’m in love with an uptown girl

[dakotacrisis]

Pig Nose AU!

Also known as the Penelope AU. Also a thinly disguised Beauty and the Beast AU. Also known as My-Ancestors-Fucked-Up-So-I’m-Paying-For-It AU

Just a blatant rip off of the 2000′s film Penelope with a few creative liberties.

Years ago great-great-great-great grandaddy Graham de Vanily fell in love and got a servant in their household pregnant.

The family was like ‘ew, you can’t marry a poor girl. marry this rich noble lady instead.’

‘but i love my poor servant baby mama!’

‘too fucking bad. you want your inheritance then you gonna do as we say!’

So he marries the noble lady and servant that got spurned is sent away from the house never to be seen again. Our poor pregnant lady is obviously pissed about all of this so decides to curse the Graham de Vanily line. Since appearances meant so much to this family then the next son of Graham de Vanily blood will be born with the face of a pig and that the curse may only be broken when the child can be ‘accepted by one of their own kind’.

The family of course shrugs her off but lives in fear for the next couple generations that they will end up giving birth to a pig faced boy.

Despite all probability no one does. They have all girls.

Finally we get to modern day and the latest daughter of the Graham de Vanily house, Emilie, marries a man named Gabriel Agreste. Shortly there after they get pregnant and end up having the first boy in generations.

‘he’s healthy happy...oh dear.’ Gabriel gazed at the crying baby in the doctor’s arms.

‘what?’ Emilie visibly exhausted and emotional

‘you know how you said that your family had a superstition about having sons?’

‘yeah?’

‘it’s not just a superstition. he’s got pig ears and a snout and a tail--oh wait no, that’s just his wee-wee. we’re fine. just a nose and ears.’

‘our son has a pig face! this is not fine!’

they ask the doctor if anything can be done but it turns out there is an artery flowing through the snout that makes removal impossible.

‘so...this is not ideal.’

‘no fucking shit Gabe!’ Emilie is bawling ‘what are we gonna do? i don’t want people gawking at our son like he’s some kind of freak. it’s not his fault my great-great-whatever grandpa pissed off a pregnant witch.’

‘i have an idea’

‘please tell me it isn’t overly dramatic’

‘we fake his death and raise him in secret until he’s old enough for the curse to be broken.’

‘...’

‘so is that a yes?’

'WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!’

They took little pig boy Adrien Agreste home and kept him hidden as best they could from the press. It wasn’t until a very nosy reporter went so far as to break into the house to try and get a picture of the baby did the parents decide to take drastic action.

‘i think it is time we got a bodyguard for Adrien.’

‘i agree.’ Emilie sighed, ‘but that won’t be enough. no matter what people aren’t going to stop clamoring for Adrien.’

‘are you saying--’

‘we can fake his death. there’s a secluded mansion far from here that we can raise him in with no one being the wiser.’

‘YES!’

‘you are way too excited about faking your sons death.’

‘the drama tho! there is not gonna be a dry eye in the house when i give my eulogy.’

‘we’re doing this for Adrien’s sake! remember that you dramatic nut!’

One fake funeral and cremation of good measure the Agreste’s moved away to a nice mansion to secretly raise Adrien. They hired a bodyguard as an extra precaution to make sure he wasn’t seen by anyone outside the grounds.

Eighteen years go by and Adrien wants out of the house bad! Despite his parents trying their best to raise him normally never having any actual friends kinda sucks.

The good news is that he is old enough that they can work on breaking the curse which the family interpreted as ‘being loved by someone of noble birth’ or some bs like that.

So they set up a system to bring girls to the mansion to get to know Adrien without ever seeing his face. To this end they also hire a renowned matchmaker named, Nathalie, to help pick girls she thinks Adrien would be compatible with. Then when Adrien thinks that they have enough of a connection he reveals his face to them.

The results always end in the girls high-tailing it out of the mansion before being stopped by the body guard and taken back to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

One day Adrien is talking to this girl, Chloe. They’ve had quite a few meetings and Chloe desperately wants to see what Adrien looks like.

‘oh please won’t you come out my Adrikins! i want to see what you look like.’

Adrien hoping for the best but braced for the inevitable steps into the room with Chloe revealing his piggy snout and floppy pig ears.

‘hiya Chloe!’

‘NOPE!’ Chloe nopes out of there so fast that the body guard isn’t able to catch her and she makes it home without signing the non-disclosure agreement.

Adrien’s parents who have been watching the meetings via a security cam in the next room sigh as another girl runs for the hills. When the body guard informs them that Chloe got away Emilie is smacking her head against the table.

‘i told you we should have them sign the document before meeting him.’

Adrien comes in and sits down next to his family.

‘i’m not even surprised anymore.’

‘it’s okay, sweetie.’ his mom assures him, ‘we’ll find the right girl.’

‘what if there is no right girl? every girl i meet runs away. it’s never going to change.’

Adrien locks himself in his room to brood and sulk about his unfortunate circumstance.

Meanwhile Chloe is blowing up her social media by telling everyone that the quiet but prominent family, the Agreste’s have a pig faced secret son. Everyone calls her a loon except for one blogger that fully believes that Adrien Agreste is alive and has a pig face.

The girls get in touch and it is revealed the blogger, Alya, has a mom that got seriously injured and arrested for trying to expose the Agreste’s secret. Alya is now obsessed with it so to prove her mom’s suspicions right and teams up with Chloe to expose the truth.

‘you don’t think i’m crazy?!’ Chloe is taken aback.

‘my mama got clubbed with a surprisingly sharp stiletto trying to prove the Agreste kid was a pig. trust me when i say i believe you.’

Here Alya and Chloe come across a designer named Marinette who is struggling to make rent. They promise her a large sum of cash if she can infiltrate the Agreste mansion and get a picture of Adrien.

‘i don’t know.’ Marinette steps away from them, ‘this all sounds really gross and underhanded.’

‘i can give you rent for the next five years if you do this.’ Chloe says.

‘so do these dates have a dress code or what should i wear?’ Marinette doesn’t like the idea of manipulating this guy but rent needs paid and working part-time in a bakery is not covering the bills. And who knows. Maybe this Adrien guy will turn out to be pretty cool.

[doomedandstoned]

Mental Health is Metal Health

~By Billy Goate~

For generations, the idea of "not being all there" has been scorned. "He's off his rocker!" "She must be nuts!" "They went psycho on me!" and similar expressions have been the staple of our communication for a very long time. "Are you mental?" one of our UK pals might be heard chiming in. Many, perhaps most, languages speak of depression, schizophrenia, mania, and other states of mind with dozens of pejoratives. Perhaps it is because for all our scientific advancements, the human brain still remains something of a mystery to the average person. What's more, it can be downright scary if we encounter a loved one who is in such a state of mind that they seem ready to harm themselves -- or others.

Because it's such a deviation from the norm, society seems ready to sweep it under the rug just as quickly and quietly as can be. Suffice it to say, there is trouble on the homefront. Not only is depression at epidemic levels and suicide attempts, domestic violence calls, and silent sufferers who self-medicate are all too common in America. After every mass shooting (we're now averaging about a half-dozen a day, if you're keeping count), there are lavish calls to boost mental health resources, without really knowing what that means. Worse still, the average person may not be able to receive help immediately and conveniently (especially in our pay-for-help system of healthcare funding).

So here's the deal: your brain gets sick just like your body. And it's a little more complicated than just taking a pill to feel better, as this is the part of us that deals with the things that make us tick: complex thinking, learned patterns of behavior, and subtle motives that we may not even be aware of, unless we're able to find some compassionate human being who wants to help us out.

And a reminder to anyone reading who thinks that mental health is a non-issue (e.g. everyone else is broken but them): your day is coming. All it takes is one stressful, precipitating event to find yourself out of your depth and in a mental health crisis of your own. One of my family members who has long scorned the notion of depression being a mental illness experienced his first panic attack recently and it was like a revelation. All of the sudden he got it. Mental illness is an issue common to human beings, so we must discuss it with empathy, understanding, and grace.

I'd love to see a bunch of rough 'n tumble rockers, metal musicians, bloggers, and organizers in the doom-stoner scene get together for a documentary that could be shared far and wide with young and old alike (mental illness isn't just a youth issue). Short of that, there are people in our loosely knit community that are attempting to create stronger bonds of connectivity between us.

One is a compilation from Cave Dweller Music called 'Mind Over Metal' (2021). Appearing in two volumes and representing a wide range of heavy music subgenres, "a sampler with the intent to raise as much funds as possible and continue spreading awareness during Mental Health Month."

LISTEN: Mind Over Metal - Volume 1 by Cave Dweller Music

Reached for comment, Cave Dweller share this with Doomed & Stoned:

We decided that for mental health month we could use our new platform to actually do some good. Our site only came into existence last June so for the first time we have a platform that we can use to push a message. I can’t speak for all of us but for me (James) I’ve had my fair share of struggles with mental health, both on a personal level (a fight I’ve almost lost in the past) and with those close to me, having lost a really close friend to suicide.

Our goal is twofold, to raise as much awareness for mental health issues within the heavy community as possible, because we know how much people within the scene struggle with it whether they’re open about it or not and to raise as much money as possible. We understand that with this type of thing we aren’t going to raise a huge amount but even a few hundred per charity is something.

LISTEN: Mind Over Metal - Volume 2 by Cave Dweller Music

It's cool that they're doing something proactive and encouraging to support the cause, so give 'em some love.

If you're reading this and feel like no one understands or cares or really even gives a damn about you, I get that. I've felt that way for much of my life, but the best decision I ever made was to reach out and ask for help. I share my story here, here, and here, in a three-party series on depression called 'Closer To The End.' I hope you will find it relatable.

Also, I'm periodically getting together with friends in the heavy underground to chat about mental health issues. The first such conversation is with James CL from the band Monte Luna. You may find it heartening to listen to these Doomed Discussions as we each share our journeys and give every day life hacks that help us to stay afloat when we're under the weather.

Perhaps someone specific you know has popped into your mind as you buzzed through this short editorial -- maybe a friend who has been more withdrawn and morose as of late or a family member who has become quite short-fused, preoccupied, or absent minded. Here's the next step: swallow your fear (or pride), reach out to them tactfully, and start building (or re-building) an authentic relationship. Remember: you don't need any special training or qualifications to be a warm, supportive, listening friend!

LISTEN: Doomed Discussions: DEPRESSION

[behindthebrokenglass]

Good morning my fellow bloggers, readers, or anyone really looking for a daily topic to relate to. I constantly wish that someone stumbles upon these posts, so I can have a voice and show others they are not alone, and that they can have a voice too. I feel like our rights as citizens and human beings that we should be allowed and feel OKAY to speak up without the fear of judgment and consequences. considerably speaking here in America the first amendment gives you that freedom. Freedom to me is just a word, a feeling that developed into a concept America can’t even hold. Internationally freedom is ripped from us wherever we go.

When I feel like life’s topics can be a bit too heavy, I resort to Netflix. Watching a bloody horror movie makes things feel so much better on my side of life’s spectrum. Mostly because I still have a right arm, a left leg and Freddy Krueger wasn’t my nightmare on Elm street. Maybe the reason I watch these crime scenarios is to stimulate a scary feeling when I actually end up laughing instead. Now that’s twisted! Trying to dissect my own brain is where my true crime obsession kicks in. It is my go to for understanding the criminal mind and the mindset of a victim. I have a deep yearning of exposing these 50 shades of grey the world likes to cover up and hide away. I stumbled upon a Netflix documentary called , “Athlete A.” This one hit way too close to home for me. I try to bring light with new perspectives to share with people during my personal blogging time. Well, maybe because it’s easier to voice things out this way. Also the amount of other people out there struggling just like me and you or maybe just a bi-standard trying to understand. A familiar story to tell, can at least bring you one important thing to hold onto. HOPE.

This documentary I watched is about a well known doctor, a predatory coach who moved from gym to gym, state to state. Well, why would a predator stick to one specific location? Of course moving around to different locations makes it harder for authorities to catch up with your tracks as long as you stay inconsistent. Yet, there was one specific consistency that stuck out. The amount of victims who reported and made complaints that went UNHEARD or it was just stuck into another file in another cabinet is deranged. So, who is Dr. Larry Nassar ? A serial rapist, and sex offender. He was served over as the USA Olympic gymnastics trainer and physician. Nassar was also a prominent member of the community and a former teacher at the Michigan State University. He was a doctor specializing in Osteopathic medicine at the time for the women’s gymnastics and crew teams. In medical school he worked as a trainer and then became a volunteer doing community work. He opened a foundation for autistic children and the community viewed him as a “larger than life, better than real person” (in the words of Tim Evans, an investigator reporter for Indianapolis). He even obtained 2,700 votes for a position on the Holt School board in Michigan. WOW! Busy man..... the sad thing about this is, is USA Gymnastics for USA olympics tried to help cover it up.

Bela and Martha Karolyi held a training camp for the USA gymnastics where Nassar worked. They based their training methods off of cruelty to get their athletes to work harder. This came around In the mid 60’s to around 1973 the Romanians decided to up their game in the Olympic gymnastics competition by having their athletes start training young. It really begun to solidify after the first youngest Romanian gold olympics champion Nadia Comaneci, a 14 year old female had won the olympics (1976). The coach’s had the benefit of having more control over the girls because they were younger. Bela and Martha Karolyi had trained Nadia and had proved their methods to be effective. They would have absolute total control over them. They slapped the girls, controlled their weight, called them names, and were very very cruel. After they came to America, they decided to bring those methods with them when they opened up their training camp for USA gymnastics. They developed a “wholesome image” that was vital to upkeep. Steve penny All the president of USA gymnastics cared about was business and money. Manipulating a child’s dreams to sell a brand.

Finally, a slip through the crack has opened. A former victim of this man and his procedures had spoken up and came forward with the same allegations a current victim had complained about. This finally prompted an open investigation. She had gone to explain that she was too young to know if what he was doing was right or wrong, or even normal. She expressed how the abuse victims are not treated well. That they are mocked, questioned, blamed and shamed. After the allegations were made, the girls were harassed, their ex boyfriends got involved, they had information dug up about them to hold against them. Very cruel people called them “whores” said “she was drunk” “ look at her she was asking for it” Just the thought of me speaking out against my predator with his authority is almost more terrifying than when it happened. The thought of what’s next if I say anything at all.... is the exact same reasons these girls stayed quiet for so long. It is in fact the most terrifying thing and the only thing in this world I am actually afraid of. The thought of “well, nobody will believe me” - “I already reported it and nothing happened”- “he’s a hero in the communities eyes but a monster in my own” - “but here I stand knowing I’m not alone.... waiting for the day someone says something so I can then come forward too” all these thoughts rushing, circulating, over and over..time after time. “When will it ever be the time?”...... hope.

As much as I fantasize over the concept of an eye for an eye, it wouldn’t fix anything besides making the whole damn world go blind. Society is already blind to this common form of sex abuse. A person in authority with good standing politically can do as he pleases as long as he stays consistent with his manipulation. This narcissistic behavior may never go away but should be put away. What these men fear the most is taking public accountability. Their stigma, reputation, and self image is more important than anything to them. For almost everyone of these girls, this is their first sexual experience. When you take the ability to love and express love from somebody and to totally damage it.....It profoundly effects their spirit, their psyche and emotional development. A man with power can take and steal YOU from YOU that will take an entire lifetime to ever get back. ONE VOICE....can lead to So Many other voices. I want to have hope.... my grandmother once told me to stop hoping and start believing.... I am trying.

[amphtaminedreams]

A/W 2020 Fashion Month & Top 20 Collections: Before Vogue Went Blank (Part 4)

Hi all,

Welcome to part 4! It’s gonna be a bit of a shorter one because I wasn’t sure if I could fit the last few collections into my part 3 since I also want to include a ranking of my favourite F/W20 shows. I have so many ideas for what I’d like my next few posts to be (there’ll probably be a bit of gap between them as I would like to try and get some fiction writing in too) and I need help and recommendations on one post in particular so I thought I’d open by explaining that if anyone would like to send me suggestions! The post is basically going to highlight the often under-appreciated personal style of PoC, and I’d also like to make sure I include all types of bodies and genders and ethnicities (other than white girls, as we get enough credit as it is, all a tall, skinny blonde woman has to do is wear some light wash jeans, heels and a blouse and high fashion Twitter are posting non-stop about how incredible her style is)! This can be a celebrity, a model, an influencer or even just one of your friends if you think they deserve some hype too! Obviously there’s only so many photos I can include but I will make sure to look at any suggestions, though of course I’m gonna be biased towards the grungier looks; I gave Dolls Kill a pass for a long time because I thought the brand had changed and become more responsible over the last few years but since Shoddy Lynn’s thoughtless Instagram post during the protests last month and then her lacklustre response video, I say fuck that “goth is white” bullshit, alternative black women are hot af. I’ll also make sure to include a list of my favourite black owned clothing lines I’ve seen people talking about on Twitter and Instagram so again, if you have any suggestions feel free to inbox me. Other than that, I have a couple of lookbooks planned and after, either a post about my favourite shows for style inspiration OR a lookbook depending on whether I have the clothes to do it already/can source a few things from Depop-Depp-I’ve made a commitment not to buy anything new for the next couple of months and I want to stick to that this time round! I’d also like to do a general collation of my favourite summer outfits, an almost scrapbook-y kinda post, and another post on some of my favourite fashion icons (I’ll probs end up repeating a lot of the women from the post I was talking about above but I’ll try and include different outfits to keep it varied!). 

Now, into the final part, and the top 20, starting with Tory Burch (I’m really pissed off because I added an unnecessary E in after the R and now Tumblr is once again being stupid and not saving any of my editing changes-also I said on the next post instead of in in the last paragraph and my anal-retentiveness is kicking into high gear). 

You’d think it’s a kinda anti-climatic one to open with but I do like this collection! It reminds me a bit of last season’s Miu Miu but more so of Brock’s general aesthetic, though with more layers and in some ways to its detriment, a lot more wearable. Looking like something from a bygone era is part of what gives Brock its mystique, but Burch’s designs are practically made for the Chelsea born and bred lifestyle blogger who dresses for a cold spell in the Coachella valley all year long and treats trawling Pimlico’s furniture shops and meeting their girlfriends for coffee like it’s a full-time job. She’s probably born into money and doesn’t work all that hard but hey, she looks angelic holding a bouquet of flowers and in 2020 we all low-key want her life, right? It’d go against my ethics but...*whispers* it would be nice to be that girl just for a couple of days. It is a gorgeous collection, with a lush colour palette and an ever graceful variety of prints and textures, and it toes the line of being accessible and being worthy of a fashion week spot with dexterity. 8/10 and it only loses marks because it’s safe for the brand.

When it comes to Valentino, they’re a pretty reliable favourite for me, and this season’s collection doesn’t break tradition; this one is slightly grittier than usual too which is a big win for me. Whilst the usual sophistication and delicate details are there, quirky embroidery, sequins and tulle, we also get a lot of leather and more black than usual, which I pray doesn’t a herald a return to people thinking “I only own black clothes and listen to Artic Monkeys” is a personality trait. I don’t know if it’s intentional, but there seems to be a lot of aquatically inspired pieces in this collection too; the 3d roses resemble scales to me (and are a really unique texture), and the way the tulle is placed kinda reminds me of fins and has a mermaid on land feel. It wouldn’t surprise me, since Valentino does tend to draw from nature quite a bit. Highs for me were the Valentino red tulle piece and the tulle pieces in general, of course with the embroidered florals as well which the basic bitch in me always looks forward to. The few lows were concentrated in the leopard print section, a print that for me is really overdone and reminds me of recent Dolce and Gabbana. It was cool when layered with the matching coat but I otherwise could’ve done without it.

Vera Wang is another one of my reliable faves-I think I like this collection even more than the last, it really is a fucking DREAM. The overly floral pieces I wasn’t too keen on but I’ll ignore that on the basis that as with Gucci, the tulle-harness combo is everything I look for in a dress and more. I know manic-pixie-dream-girl is a bit of a slur (not a slur slur but you know what I mean) in terms of the associated character, but this 90s Courtney Love grunge twist on that aesthetic is gold, fully realised big anarchist fairy energy (which is a screen name I’m surprised I don’t see more often and which I might now steal). These dresses were made for someone like Zoe Kravitz or FKA Twigs on the red carpet, and if god forbid I somehow ever ended up on one, I would go to the ends of the earth to be wearing one of the dresses from this collection. Aside from the dresses, I appreciated the moody doesn’t-want-to-be-at-the-family-function teenager inspired sleeves and the 2014 Tumblr Cruel Intentions style knee high socks. Love, love, LOVE it.

So, Versace started off strong with the all black looks-the cut outs were cute if impractical and the fit and flare trousers in particularly were really well fitted (from a distance, at least). I hated the film Red Sparrow but the visuals were very cool, and this section reminded me of that, like a high fashion collection based on Jennifer Lawrence’s character. There were some stunning colour combos in the Ashish like hyper-floral part too, and the houndstooth, marble and Versace tile prints were sick. The black jumper with the flowers on reminds me of a jumper of my nan’s I always wanted that my aunty ended up donating to a charity shop after she died not knowing I liked it. Gutted (not just about the jumper obviously, looool).

HOWEVER, as with many 91 look collections, it was sloppy at times. A lot of pieces I at first liked (I.E the silver dress we saw Kendall Jenner in, included above) are kind of unfinished up close. There was also a big varsity inspired section which was nice at times but got pretty repetitive and occasionally looked like it could pass for Jack Wills or a bad Michael Kors collection. On the whole, it had both its pros and its cons which puts it directly in the middle of the pack.

Victoria Beckham’s collection is near the lower-middle quartile when it comes to plotting the highs and lows of the F/20 collections. The pieces are pretty and accessible, I’d definitely wear them, but they’re predictable and mostly a rip-off of other brands who did something similar in a more interesting way. Though her collections are never really experimental, this one is particularly safe, and she and whoever helped design this season’s pieces were clearly avoiding the edges of the box like a child playing the floor is lava. It’s alright, and I hate coming towards the end of the post with negativity, but I have to be honest, and this just doesn’t really interest me beyond a “yeah, that’s nice” glance.

Vivienne Westwood, on the other hand, is always interesting whether I would actually wear it myself or not. Despite the mix and matchiness that is essential to the deconstructed look, which being the basic bitch I am I often struggle to see past, there were some gorgeous pieces and eurgh, I could really talk about that Bella Hadid look all day. The contrast between the exaggerated femininity of the waist cinchers against the androgyny of the less structured, oversized pieces is a really interesting one and the colour combinations work beautifully together. I also love the idea behind the collection, which is, in the words of Andreas Kronthaler about “rites of spring, and the good and the bad, and conflict, and the good prevailing over evil”. Ahhh, I hear you say. THAT’S what’s with the garlic necklace. Can I get another pat on the back for summing up this collection as “vampire slaying uniform” in my notes? I mean, that’s kind of a good vs. evil situation, isn’t it? I know it’s hard to ignore how hot vampires always are in TV series and movies but just think of the true forms of the ones off Penny Dreadful and remember THEY DRINK BLOOD (I personally think being a vampire would be really cool, just need to work out how to do it “ethically”).

Lastly, Zimmerman, and I really can’t say how happy I am to end on a positive note because this collection was stunning. Not without all the characteristically ornate, indulgent and painstakingly detailed efforts we’ve come to expect from Nicky and Simone Zimmerman, these looks (in an icy winter themed colour palette as well) are the offspring of a sophisticated flower child and a 70s glam rocker and I think with this sentence I’ve finally put my style aspirations into words. Honestly, give me the money to produce a modern day Almost Famous and I’ll make my character this no-nonsense intersectional feminist front woman of a fictional Haim-like band who sings with the voice of an angel but is rock and roll as fuck and eats men for breakfast and I’ll put her in this collection and (deep breath) it would be ICONIC. There. Got to the point eventually. Am I talking about a 2020s version of Steve Nicks? Possibly. After all, I do have a framed illustration of her on my wall. But regardless, I need those lace-up velvet BOOTS, that mesh dress with the celestial embroidery, the flame detail pieces, the white pussy bow blouse with the eyes on it. Everything is sooo dreamy; when I was looking through the collection for my favourites, I saved pretty much every. single. look. IT’S EVERYTHING I STRIVE TO BE. WHY CAN’T I AFFORD ZIMMERMAN GOD DAMN IT!?

See, I’ll be going on about Zimmerman in a couple of paragraphs again because it will be very high in my top 20, which I’m so glad is a top 20 BTW. I know I said it would be a top 10 in my last post because I thought that was how I structured it last time but I double checked and it is 20, which is a relief; once again, picking only 10 collections would be very hard. SO! Let’s get into it!

1. Gucci

I hate being predictable but Gucci once again holds the top spot for me. How could I not love this? I would say that I hope Alessandro Michele fucks up next season so I don’t come off as a boot licker but when the boots in question are platform Mary Janes and knee high socks and they’re underneath tulle with BDSM inspired harnesses on top...maybe boot sole doesn’t taste so bad after all.

2. Zimmerman

Well, I did say it wouldn’t be long until you were seeing the same outfits again, so at least you know my word is good.

3. Moschino

Wow, as if putting Gucci first again wasn’t bad enough, Moschino’s also a non-mover. But...Marie Antoinette this season and Picasso last? And this campy? It’s like Jeremy Scott reached into my brain magician-into-a-top-hat-style, picked out an interest of mine at random, and tried to communicate this to me through the medium of design with THE most chaotic energy humanly possible. I an only commend the man, because he succeeded, and I approve. It’s weird because before I always saw Jeremy Scott’s designs as tacky and yet I’ve loved all the collections I’ve reviewed, so I must ask...are the collections getting less tacky or am I getting more tacky? Much to think about.

4. Vera Wang

The battle armour of a punk princess. Not very good at protecting against knives, arrows, bullets or...anything really, but I’ve never really been the kind of person to get into physical fights (apart with a bouncer who tried to push me down the stairs once at an ABBA night but I was really drunk and she was mean, alright!?), so who cares? Nobody can make you do anything in dresses this pretty.

5. Lanvin

I’m a few years behind everyone else but I’m still on the Mad Men hype train and I don’t ever want to get off. All I wish is that Betty Draper had *SPOILERS* divorced Don’s detty arse earlier and rode off into the sunset in that white Bella Hadid coat with the red lip to match (or the checkered one above will do).

6. Etro

As long as she remains the queen of dreamy bohemian fashion, I’m not gonna do Etro dirty by putting her any lower than this ever again on the basis that she’s not conceptual enough which ashamedly is what I implied in my last ranking-yes, Etro is a she because just as most women deserve more from men, she is beautiful and deserves better than my previous disrespect! I said what I said. 

7. Dilara Findikoglu

I see your Thom Browne and your Commes Des Garcons and I raise you my “weird”-though-not-actually-that-weird-at-all-can-we-all-just-dress-like-this-on-a-day-to-day-basis-please? fave, Dilara.

8. Paco Rabanne

Battle armour that actually COULD protect you against knives, arrows, and bullets. Maybe. Well, you’d hope so anyway for the price.

9. Rodarte

Suddenly my phobia of spiders has evaporated. And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that these ones are diamond encrusted, what are you on about?

10. Alberta Ferretti

The colour combinations in this collection were stunning. Honestly. I just picked a really bad pic to illustrate that. Go read my first post to see (grifting 101: complete)!

11. Charlotte Knowles

I saw Bella Hadi wearing a Charlotte Knowles two piece, so I bought a Charlotte Knowles two piece. 

LMAOOO, I wish.

12. Balenciaga

It’s occurred to me a couple of posts too late now on the basis that Tumblr is being a dick and won’t go back and let me edit stuff, even little typos, but I’m now wondering if there’s a link between the climate change theming of the show and the exaggerated structures of the pieces? Ya know, the whole abundance is killing the planet line of thinking? I know analysis isn’t exactly on brand with these silly mini captions and that oversized and exaggerated proportions is one of Balenciaga’s running motifs anyway buuut just a thought I had! And sidenote: I do believe overconsumption is killing the planet! The way I phrased that made it seem like I’m a climate change denying dickhead! That I am not! Maybe if I shave my head, legally change my name to Steve, get a British flag tattoo on my bicep, and spend every waking moment in my nearest Spoons I’ll get there but it’s not on the agenda quite yet!

13. Christopher Kane

If fashionable robots took over the world, they’d raid Christopher Kane’s studio and fry us all with laser beams whilst wearing his dresses.

14. Fendi

Siri, play Vroom Vroom by Charli XCX.

15. Olivier Theyskens 

Mandarin collar. Mandarin collar. Mandarin collar. NEXT TIME I WILL REMEMBER WHAT THE PROPER NAME IS INSTEAD OF NEEDING TO GOOGLE IT AGAIN. Come on brain, you’re supposed to be good at this kinda thing, make it happen.

16. Elie Saab

Blair Waldorf’s wet dream. Add in some platform boots and chain jewellery and now it’s my wet dream too.

Because Chuck Bass is creepy as FUCK and maybe it’s because I watched Gossip Girl at the ripe old age (lol) of 21 and most people watch it as teenagers but I don’t know why YOU WERE ALL SO OBSESSED WITH HIM! He tries to sexually assault Jenny who is about 14 in the VERY FIRST EPISODE. I think I went off on a tangent here but it had to be said. You girls have no taste.

Don Draper was an absolute dog, but he was played by Jon Hamm, and he might be one of the finest men on the planet. What’s your excuse, Chuck and Blair enthusiasts?

17. Miu Miu

As someone who has probably been/met many a spoilt brat in her time, I appoint Miu Miu as the official sponsor of the Spoilt Brat™ aesthetic and yeah, that’s something I just made up but I’m on the money here. Imagine one of those “daddy, can you get me a pony?” types all grown up. Are you telling me you don’t picture her in Miu Miu? Because that sounds like a lie.

18. YSL

The war flashbacks I get of the Friends episode where Ross tries to get out of those leather trousers aside (I know it’s PVC her not leather but they have the same sheen, you can’t deny it), these outfits turn me into the irl version of the heart eyes emoji. It’s not like I think this is the best collection I’ve ever seen, YSL could def push the boat out a bit in terms of experimentation, but there aren’t many people who wouldn’t look hot as fuck in one of these pieces

19. Balmain

I didn’t like ALL of it, but the looks that I did like were amongst the ones that stuck out to me most when I was reflecting on the collections I’ve reviewed: the breast plates and silk capes and the scorpion detailing are real chef’s kiss moments.

20. Marques Almeida

Miss the collection that gave us this coat off the list? Never.

SO!

That is the end! Wow! I started saving the photos for this review back in late January/early February or whenever it was that the first fashion week began and now it’s mid-fucking July!? I don’t know if that speaks more to my incompetency or what a state the last few months have been. I’m not gonna write a super long ending paragraph because you’ve heard enough from me already and it’s 2:30am and I’m being hassled by Trump supporters on Twitter (literally just for stating that it’s a privilege to be able to pursue a career you truly have a passion for rather than having to be practical about finances first) anddddd I’ve got a closing shift tomorrow so I should probably log the fuck off and remove my clown makeup before it’s time to start my shift, lol!

Quick recommendation before I wrap this up, there was a really interesting debate on ITV literally a few hours ago on the Stephen Lawrence case that I thought I would recommend (they also showed the 1999 dramatic portrayal of events afterwards) about racism in England and whether or not much has changed since the murder. I didn’t catch the whole thing but from what I did see, there were some really strong points being made and I think it could be a good thing to sit and watch with your family members if you want to get talking about the Black Lives Matter movement and aren’t sure how to broach the topic. I bring it up because I feel like most middle-aged white people trust ITV so they’re less likely to turn their noses up (lol, I wish I was joking) at it and maybe go in with a more open mind. I’d like to keep the conversation about social issues going so if there’s anything you’d like me to get some information together on and make a post about-I read yesterday that there’d been arrests of THE PEOPLE PROTESTING the way Breonna Taylor’s death has been handled. No, not the police officers responsible for her death, the people simply pointing out that those police officers have done wrong. It’s a ridiculous situation and just shows how deeply embedded a police officer’s supposed right to kill and to use force is in upholding the American status quo. I wish I could end the post on better news, but let’s hope that next time I post, there is some, and as always thank you for reading til the end if you did get this far! I really don’t have all that many followers on here but do et me know if there’s anything I can reblog or share to help.

Lauren x

[gallickingun]

I hope you don't mind me asking... How did you get followers? I want to start my own blog but I want to make sure I can reach audiences I want to reach. I don't have any friends who know I write, and honestly I'm not sure I'd want them to read my works anyway. I get embarrassed easily. It's much easier for me to talk to someone that I don't have a face for. Does that make sense? Probably not. But how did you start your adventure here?

I want to preface this with follower count can make sense, or it can’t. I’ve made friends with some of the most amazing, most talented writers who have less than a thousand followers. I’ve made friends with amazing, talented writers who have thousands of followers. I genuinely don’t know how to trick the algorithm into listening to you, haha, but just know that numbers don’t equal talent; popularity does not always equal skill. So please, even if you don’t have the high follower count of someone else, don’t let it discourage you from writing! Everyone starts somewhere, and everyone grows differently. 

But, I’ve found that it all depends on who you write for, what you write, and how often you write. 

Who you write for: Bakugou is one of the most popular characters. I truly didn’t know this when I entered the fandom, but it was really what got me started on the upward climb. I’m by no means a big blogger, lol, but I know that writing for Bakugou was what helped me out initially. He was originally the only character who I could write for because he was my favorite and I hadn’t really gotten too far into the show. I think the same goes for other fandoms - if you write for the more popular characters, who have more content in demand because they have more fans, you’re more likely to gain more followers. 

DISCLAIMER: Do not let this keep you from writing for other characters who are less popular, if you prefer to write for them. Content is needed for all characters! I am desperate for some Sugawara content, but he’s not one of the more popular characters that people write for (see: Kuroo, Ushiwaka, Bokuto, Oikawa, Iwa, and Akaashi). If we only focus on the popular characters, the ones that get us the most growth, but those aren’t the characters we love, the content can seem disingenuous, if that makes sense. I got lucky by Bakugou being my favorite. But like, when I try to push out Kaminari content, I find that it’s a real struggle for me because I don’t necessarily vibe with Kaminari as a character. The same goes in reverse. If the minor characters have your heart, but you try to force out content for the popular characters, it can be tough to write and come across like you don’t really want to write it. Write who you want to write! 

What you write: This is a really big deal right now, but I’m just gonna say it lol. NSFW gets more notes. I don’t say that to force you into writing NSFW content - I actually had never read/written NSFW content until this past March, and I’m 22, going on 23. Originally, when I decided to start writing, I wanted to be NSFW-free, but some stuff changed in life and in writing and I chose to make the change.

Also, I’ve found for each fandom, different things are more prevalent. For instance, the BNHA fandom seems to do a lot of AU’s and full length fics, but the Haikyuu!! fandom seems to do more traditional works that follow canon and then the content itself is mostly headcanons and short scenarios. I think you have to find what works for you and write it to the best of your ability. I suck at headcanons, I’ve never really been able to do them and they stress me out. So I stick to full length fics. I know this means I’ll do better in one fandom versus the other, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to start only doing headcanons just because it’s what’s popular. 

DISCLAIMER: This does NOT mean that just because someone wrote 10k words of smut, that it’s better or more involved than your 10k words of fluff/angst/domestic/etc. writing. Unfortunately, there are horn dogs out there who are especially touch starved during quarantine. It doesn’t make anyone better or worse because they choose to write about being naked versus being clothed. Please don’t let this discourage you from writing SFW-only writing, as there are tons of people out there who are just as desperate for some comfort fics about cuddling completely clothed. 

How often you write: When I first started, I had a lot more time on my hands and was able to pump out content much quicker. I grew pretty rapidly in a short period of time because I was able to consistently put out content. Since I’ve gotten more busy and my mental illness has reared it’s ugly head, I’ve not been able to write as much and I can tell my follower count growth had tapered off. But the pace in which you post content generally helps increase your follower count, because people know that you will continuously feed them with the goods! Sometimes it might be good to set a schedule so others know when you’ll be posting - say a new fic every Friday? Or sometimes it can be good to keep your followers engaged with thirst posts (SFW or NSFW), or specific nights where you do events that focus on a certain character or genre. 

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF TO PUSH OUT CONTENT. Please be aware within your own self what your limits are. Just because one writer can sit at home and push out tons of short scenarios and drabbles during the day, but you can’t, doesn’t mean either of you are doing anything wrong. It just means that one person has a different availability than you. I don’t really do thirst posts a ton in the same respect that others do them, because I know that I’ll want to write a whole fic out of the couple of sentences that my followers might send in. However, there are many others within the fandom that can respond with a few paragraphs that take a few minutes to type out. It doesn’t mean that they’re better than me and I’m a horrible writer, it just means that in this area, they’re more skilled or have more time. 

Also, don’t be afraid to tag people and send out DMs! I promise your writer idols are not nearly as scary as you think they are. And they’re probably just as excited to get a DM from you as you are to talk to them! I was really hesitant to reach out to anyone before, because I never really did much chatting in other fandoms, but the anime fandoms I’ve been apart of have been very kind and welcoming, and helpful! I made some of my closest friends because I tagged them in my works or I joined a server with them in it, or I read their stuff and reached out to them to fangirl over it. Don’t be afraid to reach out, even if you just keep the conversation focused on your writing, it’ll still be worth it in the end! The worst thing that could happen is they don’t reply or the conversation fizzles out. Either way, you will have made a connection, and blasted one another with some serotonin.

Remember to take breaks. Take a hiatus every once and a while! Take some time for yourself to recharge. If this begins to feel like a job, like an obligation, and you feel yourself dragging your feet just to put out content, please step back and reevaluate. This is a hobby, it’s supposed to be fun. Once it stops being fun, take a breather and reassess what you’re doing. Sometimes this means closing requests, sometimes this means opening requests, sometimes this means participating in collab fics, sometimes this means disconnecting entirely. This is just tumblr, in the end, and you should be able to take care of yourself first rather than pinning yourself into a corner to try and post content for the sake of your followers. In the end, everyone wants you to be happy and healthy, so you can put your best foot forward in life and in your hobbies. So please, for the love of everything, take a break every now and then. Disconnect, recharge, and regroup. 

I also had a blog before this one, my main, so I’ve been on tumblr for eight year prior to this. I’m not going to even claim that I begin to understand how this hellsite works, but I will say that I’ve been writing on here for a while now, since way back to my band blog days. Eventually you just write what you want to write, and chat with your followers and your friends, and you’ll grow organically. When you start to pressure yourself over it, it can become like a cloud looming over you, and then when you don’t perform up to your preset standards, it might be a little disappointing. Follower milestones are cool to want to achieve and celebrate, but don’t pour all your focus into them. For the most part, I use milestones for celebration events to give back to my followers, or to set goals for myself like opening commissions! But they don’t determine my worth as a writer, because sometimes the tumblr algorithm is more giving to some rather than others.

Whew, this was a doozy. But I hope it helped! Some of these answers might come off a little crass, but I’m just trying to be honest. Don’t let anything deter you from doing whatever the hell you wanna do.

You wanna write that rarepair? DO IT. You wanna write character x character? DO IT. You wanna write about your Original Characters? DO IT. 

Whatever it is you want to do, do it! And have a helluva time doing it 💕

[entrepreneurnut]

Funnel Scripts Review – Write Pro Copy In Half The Time

New Post has been published on https://entrepreneurnut.com/funnel-scripts-review/

Funnel Scripts Review – Write Pro Copy In Half The Time

Are you struggling to write great copy to sell your products?

Perhaps you’ve been blowing a brain cell trying to think of what to write in your email sequences that will captivate your audience?

You may have been spending a ton of money on ads only to avail in a measly amount of clicks?

Or maybe you’re trying to promote affiliate offers but people just aren’t clicking your links?

There’s no denying it, good copywriting skills is an essential part of building a successful online business.

Without it, you’ll likely make next to no money and eventually quit.

However, when you get it right then just a few small tweaks can make a huge difference.

For example, as a blogger, I was surprised the first time I made a tiny tweak to a headline by using the free Funnel Scripts headline generator and saw the impact it had on both clicks and sales.

If you’ve been trying to learn copywriting yourself then you’ll already realize it’s difficult and it takes a long time to master.

The common alternative is to pay a professional copywriter to write your copy for you. If you can afford it, that is; they’re pretty expensive.

However, professional copywriter Jim Edwards and his marketing buddy, Russell Brunson have created another alternative that they say is much quicker and more cost-effective.

It’s a push-button software program that can write your sales copy for you. They call it Funnel Scripts.

Since I recently purchased this product, today, I am going to be diving deep into exactly what it can do and whether or not you really need it for your business.

So, here in my Funnel Scripts review 2021 I will give you the lowdown on the complete software, including the free headline generator you can use to test it out before you buy.

Get Funnel Scripts Lifetime Deal Here

Funnel Scripts Review: What Does It Do?

Funnel Scripts has been developed to give everyone the ability to quickly create professional-level sales copy without having to pay expensive copywriters to do it for you.

It works by using templates based on some of the best performing copywriting scripts in history and structuring them around the content you input that is specific to your market, audience and the products or services you are promoting.

Jim Edwards, the creator of the Funnel Scripts software, has included templates to enable you to create sales copy for a large number of reasons including, ad copy, landing pages, video, and written sales letter scripts, bullet scripts, headlines, email sequences, webinars and more.

Basically, you spend a few minutes inputting some data about your audience, product, the benefits and so forth, then press a button. Funnel Scripts will then generate multiple variations that you can choose from. 

Who Is Funnel Scripts For?

Most businesses need to use some kind of sales copy. If you’re trying to sell your own products, promote offers as an affiliate, collect leads, you need to write ads or you need to email your subscribers then you will need to have some kind of copy.

As a blogger, I also realized that I can benefit a lot by improving the headlines of my posts.

Copywriting is a hard to learn skill and does not come naturally to most people. However, if you already have this skill then it’s probably not necessary for you to buy Funnel Scripts unless you just want a faster way of doing it.

If copywriting is something that gives you a headache, it’s a task that takes you hours without really knowing how effective it’s going to be or if you outsource it but pay a hefty price for it then Funnel Scripts will be a big benefit to you.

Watch The Funnel Scripts Webinar Here

What I Like About Funnel Scripts

When you first buy Funnel Scripts and get inside the member’s area you will notice there is a huge amount of stuff in there for you to dive into.

There are several features I really like, but some of my favorites are the following:

Large Number of Scripts Available

Funnel Scripts is not just a headline generator; it’s not only used for writing ad copy; it can be used for much more than just creating your email sequences.

It is a very powerful program which, gives you the ability to create copy for any kind of purpose you could imagine.

Funnel Scripts Produces Good Quality Copy

When I first heard about Funnel Scripts, I must admit I was a little skeptical as to how good the copy it produces might be.

Many years ago I purchased a headline and sales page generator, but it was mediocre at best. However, that was around 2007 and fortunately, software has come a very long way since then.

I was more than pleasantly surprised to see that the quality of the copy produced by Funnel Scripts not only reads well, but it also keeps to the structure of professionally written copy that creates engagement.

You Can Create Copy Very Quickly

There are no two ways about it, Funnel Scripts is fast.

Compared to writing copy yourself or even outsourcing it to a professional and waiting for your copy to come back, Funnel Scripts can bash out your copy in minutes.

When you use one of the script generators, it will ask you to fill in some boxes with data about your product and target audience. Depending on the script you’re using this can take around 10-20 minutes.

Then, all you do is hit the build button and wham! Your copy is generated.

The copywriting script generators will produce a few different variations for you to choose from, all of which are fully editable by you if you need to.

Free Copywriting Training Included

If you’re using Funnel Scripts then you don’t need to learn copywriting yourself.

However, knowing a bit about the formulas of creating great copy and how it leads your audience to take the action you desire will help you to get even better results with the copy you generate.

I have always been interested in copywriting and the psychology behind it.

While I do now use Funnel Scripts myself, I am still interested in and fully intend to learn more about it to improve my skills in this area.

So I was pleased to see a number of training videos that are also in the member’s area if you do have the inclination to learn more about writing great copy.

Monthly Copywriting webinars

Creator, Jim Edwards, is really passionate and proactive about Funnel Scripts.

Since copywriting is a skill that is close to his heart and he wants his members to get the most out of using his product, he holds monthly training webinars that you can sign up for for free.

You can also watch the latest webinar replay in the member’s area if you can’t make it live.

Pimp My Funnel

If you want expert help with your sales copy, from Jim Edwards himself then you can apply to be featured in an episode of Funnel Scripts Tips, which are Jim’s copywriting tips webinars.

Since there’s so many users of the software it’s not guaranteed that you will get chosen. However, you can keep applying if you want to get his help directly. If you are chosen then it can make a huge difference to your business.

Extra Funnel Scripts Bonuses

When you buy Funnel Scripts you will also notice you get 4 extra bonuses in the member’s area. These bonuses are:

Bonus #1 – Inception Secrets

This is a training that marketer Russell Brunson gave to his inner circle a few years ago. He shows you how to be able to sell anything to anyone and make it seem like it’s their idea to buy from you. It will teach you how to plant the seeds of desire inside a person’s head so they will naturally want to buy your stuff.

Bonus #2 – 5 Fast Funnels

Here they give you access to the 5 most popular and commonly used funnel that you’ll likely need to use online.

Bonus #3 – Copywriting Secrets Master Class

This is a course Jim created to help people get high-impact results from their sales copy without having to hire a copywriter. He also teaches you some simple tweaks that can make a huge difference to your conversions.

Bonus #4- Live Monthly Training with Jim

Each month you can join Jim live on his monthly webinars to learn how to get the most out of Funnel Scripts and sell more stuff.

Get Funnel Scripts Lifetime Deal Here

What I Don’t Like About Funnel Scripts

Funnel Scripts Navigation Is a Bit Crowded

Since there’s so much inside the Funnel Scripts members area it can take you a while to get to grips with it.

Some of the features are hidden within other tabs, which can take you some time to find where everything is when you first use it.

It’s Quite Expensive

The sale price of $797 might be quite steep for a lot of small businesses and solopreneurs to shell out at one time.

However, if creating effective sales copy is a big part of your business then it will save you a lot of money over time not having to pay a professional copywriter, whose fees are usually very high.

Funnel Scripts: What Scripts Are Available?

In this section, I’ll share with you all the different kinds of scripts you can create and show you screenshots of each section so you’ll know exactly what you get with Funnel Scripts.

Not only are there quite a few different categories of scripts you can generate, but each category also has several different types of scripts. This is good so you can drill down to create exactly the right kind of script you need for the right channel you are promoting through.

While most scripts work directly from the dashboard, others are available to you form the dashboard as downloadable wizards.

Some of the most common scripts people use include:

Email scripts

Ad scripts

Headline scripts

Bullet scripts

Sales letter scripts

Video sales letter (VSL) scripts

Besides these, Funnel Scripts also has a ton more. Check out the full list of available scripts below.

Get Funnel Scripts Lifetime Deal Here

Funnel Scripts Pricing

Funnel Scripts used to be a yearly subscription at $497 per year.

However, in 2019 the Funnel Scripts pricing changed to $797 for lifetime access.

While this is a fairly high price to pay initially, if you will need to write good sales copy in your business on an ongoing basis then this is a better deal than the original price of Funnel Scripts.

Basically, you need to consider how important it is to you and your business to write good copy before you buy Funnel Scripts.

For example, if you need to regularly write emails to your list, headlines for your blog posts, ads, and landing pages or if you’re regularly creating ads and need them to always perform well then it may be worth it to you to invest in the Funnel Scripts lifetime deal.

Whether you should buy Funnel Scripts or not will depend on several factors. You need to weigh up the following:

How often you will need to create copy

How much money would it cost you to outsource it to a professional copywriter

How much time would it cost you if you decide to learn copywriting yourself

How much might it cost you in both time and money to do it yourself through trial and error

Funnel Scripts Free Trial

When people hear about this software they often ask, is there a Funnel scripts free trial?

The answer is, Yes.

However, while there are a large number of scripts you can create with Funnel Scripts to make copy for all kinds of reasons, there is only the Funnel Scripts free headline generator that can be used on the free trial.

If, while you’re reading this Funnel Scripts review, you’re interested in taking this sales copy generator for a test-drive then you can try the Funnel Scripts headline generator for free here.

Personally, I would like to see a free trial of other scripts besides only the headline script. For example, I think it would be really helpful to also include an ad script and a bullet script trial so people can get a clearer picture of what Funnel Scripts can actually do before they purchase.

However, the headline generator script is a good tool and gives a reasonable insight into the Funnel Scripts software. Just be aware that the tool can do so much more than just create fancy headlines.

Funnel Scripts Webinar

Jim Edwards and Funnel Scripts co-founder, Russell Brunson created an hour-long copywriting webinar that teaches some important fundamentals of copywriting that marketers and entrepreneurs need to understand.

While, of course, this webinar does also promote the Funnel Scripts product, they show you everything the software can do, what you get when you invest and how to get all your copy from sales letters, webinar scripts, ads, and even email sequences written in under 10 minutes.

If you’re not interested to buy Funnel Scripts but you do want to learn more about copywriting then I still recommend you watch this webinar.

You can watch the Funnel Scripts webinar here.

Where Can You Buy Funnel Scripts?

The owners of Funnel Scripts would prefer you to first watch their free Funnel Scripts webinar and then move through their sales funnel. This way they can hook you in and sell you more stuff.

However, if you just want to buy Funnel Scripts without having to go through the sales funnel then here’s the back door where you can buy Funnel Scripts directly.

Funnel Scripts Pros and Cons

Like any product you buy, there will always be pros and cons. Here are the pros and cons of Funnel Scripts:

Funnel Scripts Pros

Instant access once you purchase

Easy to use

Instruction videos for each script

Many different script types for all kinds of marketing needs

Easy to use script generators

Data input fields allow you to customize scripts with your personality and to fit your audience

Multiple versions of each script generated to give you choice

Scripts can easily be edited

Example scripts included

Additional downloadable wizards for more complex script creation

Lots of training videos

Monthly webinars

Additional bonuses included

Funnel Scripts Cons

Some scripts take time to enter all your data into the input fields

Sometimes the script can be a bit generic – fortunately you can customize and edit the scripts as needed

It can take a while to get your head around all the different available features

Initial price can be high for some small business owners and solopreneurs (fortunately, this has been improved slightly since Funnel Scripts has now been made a one-time purchase)

Funnel Scripts: My Final Thoughts

When you buy Funnel Scripts you certainly get a lot for your money. There are a ton of scripts available inside the members area, and you also get access to a few downloadable wizards for more advanced scripts.

Russell and Jim have included scripts for all kinds of copy you might need to create.

While the initial price tag of $797 can be expensive for a lot of entrepreneurs, if you’re going to be using it regularly then, in my opinion, it is worth the investment as it can save you both time and money moving forward.

So now, the question is, do you and your business need it..? Only you can answer that question.

If you’ve not already tried the free headline generator, why not try it out to see what it can do.

If you want to have a more detailed look at the product that goes beyond this Funnel Scripts review, and see it live in action then I highly recommend you join the free copywriting webinar with Jim and Russell.

Get Funnel Scripts Lifetime Deal Here

Want A Funnel Script Alternative?

If you’d like to see what other copywriting software options are available on the market then check out my article on the 3 best Funnel Scripts alternatives.

If you want to read more marketing software reviews that can help you to grow your business then you can find them by visiting my homepage here.

[mchalowitz]

the process by which time passes

REPOST. you guys. @lilydalexf is the true mvp of this saga. she happened to have the story still open and was kind enough to send it to me. i owe her so much gratitude (as well as the other amazing xf bloggers that reached out to me). although i don’t interact much socially around here, it is amazing to be a part of a fandom that is so kind and supportive! writing xf fic is a creative outlet i enjoy so much and i love sharing it. now back to our regularly scheduled reading. (also if you guys wouldn’t mind boosting this new version so i can see the feedback, i would be so grateful.)

this is something i’ve been writing (at this point) for probably almost a year, which is one reason i’ve been pretty quiet on the fic-posting front. i’m so excited for everyone to finally see it but terrified at the idea that it’s not just an idea that only i know about anymore. it was originally the back half of a wip i abandoned but i couldn’t let this part go. enjoy!!

Mulder gives her a tight hug on the side of a desert highway. Scully presses her forehead to his chest, hoping her thoughts might leave her mind, reach his heart, and convince him to stay. He still gets in the SUV and she never sees him again.

In true Fox Mulder fashion, his physical presence isn’t needed to be a constant reminder. Government officials that she once exchanged pleasantries with at the coffee machine bang down her door and rip apart the life he abandoned.

“Have you heard anything?”

Skinner rifles through papers until the door clicks shut. Her badge feels heavy on her lapel. It feels wrong to be here.

“Only the official warrant,” Skinner answers. That was weeks ago. She has to frequently remind herself that he is doing the best he can. He can’t make it too obvious he’s interested in the hunt. She certainly can’t go digging herself.

“They’re closing the X-files,” he informs her. “There is an appeal process…”

“That’s not necessary,” Scully interrupts. “My assignment was to assess the validity of Mulder’s investigations. There is nothing to assess.”

“You believe in the work.”

“I’m a scientist,” she reminds him, offering nothing else.

Her final report is a jumble of words that states, no matter what she believed, the X-Files should never be reopened.

–

Scully spends idle days breathing in wet air on her mother’s porch. She hopes the sea might soothe her.

A week later, as she plans her return to Washington, she decides emphatically that it did not.

She discovers heart medication in her mother’s bathroom cabinet. Maggie attempts to downplay the circumstances, “It was a blip on a screen, Dana. The doctor said it was just precautionary,” but to Scully, it’s a call to action.

It isn’t difficult to resign. It seemed like it should, after giving the FBI almost a decade of herself, and much, much more than that.

She cries silently in her car after handing over the keys to her dream apartment and saying goodbye to her meticulously curated life.

She reminds herself starting over is the only way to move on. But she isn’t sure she believes it.

–

Scully is a seasoned Special Agent of the FBI, an instructor of pathology, but she struggles to call herself a doctor. After an onslaught of rejected resumes, she begins to believe the medical community of Maryland agrees.

A small hospital outside Baltimore is wowed by her determination alone. At the bottom of the ladder, no one knows the reputation of Agent Scully. She showed promise and expertise in her role, even if her partner was a kook. Dr. Scully has never formally practiced medicine and her bedside manner leaves something to be desired.

Scully hopes for an opening in pathology, where she might be more understood. John From Human Resources hums along with her plight. “I’ll keep an eye out,” he promises.

She begins noticing him behind her in the cafeteria line. On a fall day, she is trying to decide on the best fruit cup when he sides up to her. He is whisper-quiet, conspiratorial in tone when he says, “I wanted to give you a heads up that Dr. Harris may be retiring at the end of the year.”

The may sounds more like an is. A weight inside her lifts.

John assures her she is the first choice when the position officially becomes available. When he leads her to her new office in January, he asks her out to drinks to celebrate, and Scully is surprised, because she forgot people could see her that way.

John is completely unlike anyone else she’s been with. He is endlessly dependable. She never has to worry about where he is because he calls when he’ll be late. He thrives on a fastidious routine and makes safe, informed decisions.

Scully finally moves out of her mother’s house and into a modern three-bedroom she purchases with John. She leads an entirely new life. She climbs the ranks in pathology and is still able to go on real dates, and eat home cooked meals while they’re still hot, and sit in the pew every Sunday. She goes on weekend hikes and uninterrupted trips to the coast and has fine, but not life changing, sex. She accepts John’s proposal on the beach with a beautiful ring.

They have a small wedding. She doesn’t take his last name.

John tries so hard, never asks about her time in the FBI, even tries to adopt a child with her. When it falls through at the last minute, they decide on a dog instead. They get divorced after two years.

In her office one late morning, the phone on her desk lights up. “Dr. Scully, there’s a man on line one asking for you.”

“Thank you,” she says into the speaker. She picks up the receiver with the assumption of a request for a consult. “This is Dr. Scully.”

“Hey, Scully, it’s me.”

She drops the phone.

–

Scully’s stomach is in knots. She is too nervous to order any food. Mulder sits across from her at a diner, looking older and scruffier, and she wonders if this is all a cruel hallucination.

“Where have you been?”

His fingers tap nervously on the table. “Farrs Corner.”

After exploring little towns in the far reaches of nowhere, she remembers that’s Virginia. When she presses for how long, she discovers he’s been within driving distance almost this entire time. Her fingers clench. She wants to strangle him.

“It’s been six years, Mulder. Why now?”

“The FBI dropped the charges against me. I helped them with a case, they wiped the slate clean. I can start my life again, Scully, come back.”

Forget strangle, Scully wants to kill him. He thinks he can just come back? His ignorance to the domino effect of his actions has to be purposeful.

There was a life they wanted to live together that never had the chance to become a reality. She has spent six years trying to fill her life with meaning. Her marriage failed, her career path faltered. They have a child that is no longer theirs.

Scully stands from the booth. She stares down at him, asserts her power.

“I thought you were dead.”

He just nods. He suggests she give him a call, now that she has his number.

She doesn’t.

–

Scully always forgave Mulder too quickly; it was their fatal flaw. She frequently ignored this piece of common knowledge by justifying his more unsavory behavior as residual childhood trauma, or a severe lack of social skills, or plainly being obtuse.

She never found a way to justify him leaving her when she needed him without looking like an emotionally manipulated moron. How could she possibly forgive the embarrassment and isolation she felt after giving up her own child for ostensibly no reason?

Scully bared her soul to him, her body, and gave him everything she had, and she still took a backseat to his quest. There was a brief time where she thought something finally switched in him and the quest would take a backseat to her. In the earliest days of the millenium, working their way up from something undefined to something real.

A month passes. She speaks to no one about her meeting with Mulder, but when she has idle moments, it fills her mind. She tries to remain hot when she begins wondering what Mulder’s life is like now. She attempts to imagine how he filled six years worth of time, because he was never a picture of duality, never able to separate his life from his work, and what can he do after leaving it behind?

It’s a slow burning curiosity. Weeks long. She begins to think he didn’t push during their last meeting because he knew it would happen like this.

She scrolls through recent calls to find the number he left on her office phone. Scully hears the hello in that familiar voice and doesn’t hesitate to respond, “Mulder, it’s me.”

–

Scully sees a dream realized when she pulls up to a little house with a spacious porch on sprawling land. Mulder never liked the city.

He is clearly thrilled to finally present his vegetable garden and his paintings while giving her the grand tour. He recounts putting in the new water heater himself and his plans to replace the roof next spring.

Mulder makes her pasta and gives her the “good chair.” When her stomach is full, they talk about old times. She hasn’t talked about these things in years because she knew there was no one else that can laugh about what she saw instead of instantly recoiling except for the man sitting across from her.

“I have to get back,” she realizes when she sees the sun beginning to set out the window. They spent almost the whole day together. He nods in understanding.

“You see I’m not living in squalor,” he jokes as he walks her to her car.

“It certainly wasn’t the dilapidated hut I was expecting,” she teases. Her tone shifts from silly to serious. “You know, Mulder, after our last meeting, I really didn’t want to come here. I thought…I think you know what I thought. But I’m glad I came.”

“I appreciate any chance you’ll give me, Scully,” he replies.

–

Farrs Corner becomes a regular destination.

Mulder easily becomes the companion she was lacking, the return of the best friend she lost. Even with the passage of time, he still knows her better than anyone else.

She stops offering up her free Friday nights for on-call autopsies and tox screens to watch movies with take-out picked up just before civilization ends.

Without a Saturday shift to spoil their fun, they indulge in the full six pack of their favorite beer. His feet are propped on the coffee table next to their abandoned pizza box, as she folds her legs underneath her on the cushion beside him. She is full-bellied and warm.

“I can’t believe you were married,” he says in disbelief, taking a swig from his bottle. “Considering how many of my proposals you turned down.”

“Maybe I would’ve accepted if any of them had been serious.”

“So you’re saying there was a chance?”

She laughs and nudges his shoulder with the side of her bottle.

When she catches his eye, she sees a person that, yes, she thought she might marry someday. When she was younger, less hard, and had never seen the face of a child that was half him, half her.

She leans forward and presses her lips to his, jerking back as soon as he begins to respond. She tries to find something to say, a reasoning, but she finds his curious gaze, and can’t think of anything to say.

He closes the distance between them and starts where she left off. His kiss is wonderful. It’s hopeful and sexy as all hell.

He nudges her jaw aside with his chin, his mouth seeking out her neck. Her fingers tangle in his hair. “Let’s go upstairs,” he suggests.

–

Standing at the foot of his bed, Scully realizes she’s never been in Mulder’s bedroom before. He has simple furnishings; dark wood and soft blues. His belt clunks when it hits the floor. His bare chest warms her back.

She remembers his warmth, his proclivity to be so tender and gentle, and to let her lead the way. She turns and guides him onto the bed.

Modest kisses quickly turn unrestrained. He breaths in long pants as he shoves her panties down her thighs, letting her kick them over her ankle before hooking them over his hips.

He slips in so easily. Scully explores his changed body; the shifting muscles in his back, his thinner, sweat dampened hair against her hands, his ass clenching as he rocks into her.

Electricity runs through her when his fingers drift to her clit, taking her right to the edge. “Fuck,” he groans, his lips at her ear. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

She moans in utter bliss, deliriously overtaken. When she comes, she shatters. Mulder thrusts two, three times more, before following behind. He spurts hotly into her with growls of satisfaction.

Breathing heavily, they lay bonelessly on their backs. She feels the sweat cooling at her hairline. Her lips break into a big smile and a laugh leaves her lips. His follows and he raises her hand to his lips, feeling his joyous puffs of air against her skin.

“We are still very good at that,” she decides, turning her head toward him.

“You did always bring out the best in me,” he agrees.

Scully finds his boyish nerves when he mentions spending the night charmingly endearing. She wordlessly moves to press herself into his side, clinging to him in answer.

–

Mulder calls their connection cosmic, though Scully doesn’t believe in cosmicity. An otherworldly connect would trivialize their effort so far in their new era.

She worried how they would assimilate into each other’s worlds without the commonality of what easily linked them before. While their forced separation may never be seen as a positive in her eyes, it did allow for the growth to be content in domesticity.

Scully adores the version of Mulder she met over two decades ago. With his unwavering desire for truth and his absolutely brilliant mind. The hours they can spend talking remind her of that man often. They spar as they always did, laugh like no time has passed.

She delights in the side of him that is at peace with the mundane. He likes filling her drawers with clean scrubs, and working in the yard until he returns smelling like freshly cut grass, and giving her drafts of his paranormal mystery novel.

Uncensored honesty is their biggest challenge. It would be so easy to never discuss what plagued them in the past. They finally get to air their fear, their guilt, and their grief. Scully thinks she and Mulder come out better on the other side.

Mulder leads her to the quiet corners of the world, using his freedom to finally venture off his little property. They luxuriate in the Bahamas shortly after their first night together and they start stopping at all the roadside attractions they used to skip. He plans to finally take her to England and show her all the off beaten paths from his youth. She would go anywhere with him.

A beach house in Maine is this weekend’s activity. Scully accidentally leaves her stack of reading on the desk in her office. “I’ll grab them quick and we’ll go,” she promises him, hanging onto the open passenger side window.

“Don’t leave the coast waiting too long,” he teases. “I’m starting to lose my island glow.” She rolls her eyes at him and pushes up on her toes to kiss him briefly.

Though she promises to be quick, Scully still signs into her computer. She printed out the newest articles hastily before an autopsy and notices now that the first ten pages of the article on top are missing. She finds herself drawn to begin reading when she goes to reprint. She pulls out her chair with blind arms, sitting down absently.

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been gone until she sees Mulder enter. “I was starting to think you’d fallen in,” he jokes.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. He brushes off her apology with a wave of his hand, rounding the desk to brace his hand on the back of her chair.

“What are you reading?” he asks.

Case 43-2009. 8-year-old with Brain Scan Abnormalities Presents Potentially Unseen Neurological Disorder.

She breaks her gaze at the screen to bring her eyes up to Mulder.

“We need to find our son.”

[letswritefanfiction]

Pink Macarons

A Pokemon oneshot. Also can be read on ffnet here.

Summary: Who needs a man on Valentine’s Day? After the events of XYZ, Serena and her friends try out the new livestreaming feature on Pokévision, whilst trying to make the most of a difficult holiday by baking and hanging out together. Onesided Amour and onesided PoffleShipping.

“I can’t figure out how to do it!” Serena moaned as she fiddled with the equipment setup. “I don’t know if it’s the laptop or the camera!”

“Let Shauna do it,” Miette said. “She’s the only one of us to have used the new livestream feature before. We need you with food prep anyway.”

Food prep, at this point, was mostly done, thanks to the work Serena had done earlier. Every counter in the Pokémon Center kitchen was covered in all the ingredients needed for baking: sugar, moo moo butter, flour, and lots and lots of berries. Every spot that wasn’t had equipment like mixers and bowls.

“Yeah, I don’t remember how to cut the Qualot Berry so that it looks pretty,” Nini said, struggling with a paring knife.

Serena gratefully abandoned the filming setup to help Nini as Shauna, wiping her hands on her apron, took her place.

“If you can’t do that, you can always just cover it in chocolate and call it a day,” Serena said as she demonstrated, leaving a perfectly carved rose. “And remember to save these little bits for your Pokémon! Nobody likes waste.”

There was a little scrap pile going of edible berry bits that Serena was going to give to Pancham later. Delphox was the only one of her Pokémon out at the moment as Pancham couldn’t be trusted during the cooking process and Sylveon would likely be jumpy around this lively group of girls. Not to mention that with four girls in the room, space was already limited.

“Okay, save the little gems of wisdom for when we’re actually on the air,” Miette said sarcastically as she managed to sculpt a berry rose just as Serena had.

“I’ve got it!” Shauna exclaimed as she stepped away from the laptop.

“Wait, we’re live now?” Serena squeaked.

“Yep!” Shauna waved into the camera. “Hi, Serena’s audience! Happy Galentine’s Day!”

“No, no, I have to introduce—excuse me, Nini—us and what we’re doing!”

Serena scooted past Nini, placing the paring knife on the kitchen island behind her as she scrambled to join Shauna in front of the camera.

“Hi, I’m Serena! And this is my partner Delphox,” Serena said, gesturing in the background to where Delphox was washing the last of the berries. “And today—”

“On Galentine’s Day,” Shauna inserted.

“On Valentine’s Day, I have a special treat for you! My first ever livestream! And my friends Shauna, Miette, and Nini are all here to help me out. Their socials are in the information tab below—and they’re all great Pokémon Performers, so you should follow them if you don’t already. Thanks to everyone who saw my post on Fletchat today and is tuning in! Today, we have a Q and A planned where you can ask me and my friends questions while we bake for Valentine’s Day!”

Miette gave Serena a sympathetic look. “Serena, you’re talking really fast. Seems like you’re nervous.”

Serena gave the camera a big, cheesy smile and said with the utmost confidence: “I am!”

Miette shook her head and went back to working with the berries.

“I’ll be doing most of the moderating,” Shauna said, coming back in front of the camera, “so let me see those questions! Oh, here’s one. What are we baking, gals?”

“Everything,” Miette said.

“We’re making Poké Puffs and macarons,” Serena answered, ignoring Miette. “And we’ll be giving tips throughout the broadcast for those at home who are interested!”

“And for us,” Nini added. “Serena’s a much better pâtissière than we are.”

“Oh, you guys, I don’t know about that!” Serena said, trying to fight off her blush. “Anyway, for Valentine’s Day, we’re making everything pink and romantic. So that means heart-shaped macarons and beautifully decorated Poké Puffs.”

“Del phox del!”

“Oh, and we’ll be doing some taste tests too.”

“Serena, why don’t you let them know what we’re working on right now?”

“Good idea, Shauna! So, Miette and Nini are working on sculpting some fruit to make pretty toppings for the Poké Puffs—if you want a video on that, I can make one—and I have our macaron batter here! Delphox, can you hand me the Persim Berries and the pink towel?”

“Delphox!”

“If you want to use food dye to color your batter, you can, but I prefer to use more natural ingredients,” Serena explained as she took the items from Delphox. “If you put Persim Berries in bright sunlight, even after being picked, they become very rich in color. Then you can put them in a towel like this, and wring them out to get a very bright juice!”

Serena demonstrated putting a few berries in the cloth and twisting it. Dark pink juice bled from the towel and into the bowl that the berries had been in, and Serena showed it to the camera before pouring it into the white macaron batter.

“Persim Berries don’t have a lot of flavor,” Nini added. “So you don’t have to worry about your food tasting weird when you use it.”

“Very true, Nini. With macarons, all you have to worry about is that you don’t water down the texture too much, so start with a little bit. And you can always reduce the juice on the stove so that it’s more potent. Just make sure it cools down all the way first, because you don’t want to deflate your egg whites!”

As Serena folded the batter, Shauna was scrolling through comments on Pokévision and Fletchat, looking for questions.

“Aw, this is sweet,” Shauna cooed. “How can four lovely girls such as yourselves be without dates on Valentine’s Day? I’d take any of you out. Thank you so much!”

“Well, now seems like a nice time for a reminder that not everyone is alone on Valentine’s Day because they failed to get a date,” Nini said. “Some of us either don’t want a date today or maybe don’t want a date ever.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the case for all of us,” Miette drawled. “Right, Serena?”

“Hmm?” Serena asked, a blush rising to her face as she reached for a piping bag. “Um, sure. Everyone’s different.”

Serena knew that Miette was just trying to get a rise of her—like always. She should have expected that live TV wouldn’t make her behave any differently. But Serena had a job to do here, and Miette’s antics weren’t going to steer her off-course.

“So when your batter is this consistency just scoop it into your piping bag and make sure you have a sheet tray ready,” Serena said, steering the conversation back to what she was doing.

“Ooh, Shauna, you’re not reading out the good stuff,” Miette said, leaning over Shauna’s shoulder to read the live feed. “LuvdiscLuver—very Valentinesy name, I approve—wants to know if there’s anyone Serena wishes she were out with tonight.”

“Hahahaha,” Serena barked, the laugh coming out completely unnatural. “I, uh, I love my girls, so I couldn’t be happier here baking with them.”

“Lies!” Miette got her face close up to the camera and pointing accusingly at Serena. “There is definitely someone Serena would rather be with, and I know who it is.”

Shauna shook her head at Miette and Nini, poked her on the shoulder. “It’s not your business to talk about that,” she whispered.

“Ooh, the comments are really coming in now!” Shauna said, scanning as the comments went flying by. “Everyone wants to know your crush, Serena!”

“Are you sure they don’t want to know how to shape macarons into hearts?” Serena asked, tilting the camera down so that the people could see what was happening on her sheet tray—rather than the boiling blush on her face. “If some of them don’t turn out perfect, just make sure to put that one on the bottom of your finished product!”

“Okay, Serena doesn’t have to tell you all that,” Shauna said, crouching down to get into the camera’s frame. “But to get back at Miette, I’ll tell you that she has a crush on the same person Serena does!”

Shauna gasped dramatically, putting a hand in front of her mouth as she looked at Miette and scurried out of frame.

Miette grabbed the camera and jerked it back up so it was right at eye-level. “Yep, that’s the truth; thanks, Shauna. One thing you all don’t know about Serena—she has great taste in guys. So of course I like the same one.”

Serena looked down at her macarons. They were hardly the best ones she’d ever done—most of them would qualify as bottom-halves, if that were possible. She could only hope that all the distractions hadn’t messed up the recipe. Macarons required such a specific finish, it would be obvious immediately if something went wrong.

At least Delphox was keeping things on track. She’d already rinsed out the bowl that the batter had been in and was reaching to do the same with the pastry bag.

“Okay,” Serena said. “I’m just going to slip these in the oven and then we can move on to our PokéPuff batter! Girls?”

Serena was going for a neutral vanilla base with pink sprinkles and a custard-like sour Colbur Berry topping. Then the girls would make them almost look like fruit tarts, putting the beautifully cut berries on top. All four of the girls knew how to make PokéPuffs by heart, and were able to get together the ingredients for this particular version of Serena’s with machine-like precision. Serena was weighing the dry ingredients, Miette measuring the wet, and Nini was juicing the Colbur berries.

“Wow, you guys are getting a lot of questions,” Shauna mused as she grated a little bit of the pink flesh of the spiky berries to add a bit of Valentine’s pink to the PokéPuffs.

“I have a link to my blog post about this recipe in the description,” Serena said. She’d written the post up that day and used pictures from her practice batches. If Pokémon Performing didn’t go her way, she could always be a food blogger.

“No, not about that—though you girls are doing great,” Shauna said absently as the wet and dry ingredients were combined. “No, people want to know how you two can stay friends when you have a crush on the same boy.”

Serena—whose face had finally returned to its even, beige complexion—could feel herself flushing again. When she’d said she wanted the livestream to be pink-themed, she hadn’t thought her face would be a part of it. Though, she was sure that Miette would use it as an excuse for her behavior.

“Well, it’s not serious for me,” Miette said, answering first since Serena had taken over the batter and Nini was handling the topping. “I mean, I like this guy. He’s cute, kind, and skilled. He ticks the boxes, you know? But I don’t honestly know him that well. I can recognize that and know that my feelings for my friend, Serena, are more important than a little crush on some guy.”

Serena looked up from where she’d been staring intently at the batter that she, frankly, was beginning to over-mix now that she’d put the sprinkles in. She blinked at Miette, surprised to hear such a mature response.

“Here, lemme take that,” Miette said, grabbing the bowl from Serena and beginning to dole the mixture out into a greased cupcake tin. That left Serena on screen with Nini mixing away in the background.

“Um, well, it’s different for me,” Serena started nervously. She couldn’t forget the fact that she wasn’t just in a room with her four friends and her Pokémon. There were thousands of concurrent viewers right now, watching as she floundered for the perfect words. “You could say…it’s more serious for me. I know this guy really well and I’ve liked him for a long time. But like Miette said, that’s different from our friendship. I mean, she teases me about it, and maybe it seems like she doesn’t care, but I trust her enough to know that she wouldn’t betray me or do something that would really hurt me.”

“What would you do if one of you were to start dating this mystery guy, someone wants to know?” Shauna asked.

“I’d get over it,” Miette said, popping her head back in frame as she finished up with the PokéPuffs. “Always more Goldeen in the sea.”

“Serena?” Shauna prompted.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Serena said honestly. “Realistically, I mean. Because, in reality, I don’t think he’s ready to date either of us. Or anyone. I mean, maybe I tell myself that just because he didn’t show much interest in me, even after the signs I gave him.”

Serena avoided eye contact with the girls. She still hadn’t told any of them about their one kiss. Knowing Ash, he could have missed all the smaller signs she’d given him…but she didn’t believe even he could mistake what that kiss had meant for her.

“I don’t believe that,” Shauna said, jumping in next to Serena. “Look, we all know this guy. And, for all his good points, which Miette pointed out, I think we can all agree that he’s not boyfriend material quite yet. He’s not ready. Right, Nini?”

Nini looked up. “Um…let’s just say he’s the type you have to be patient with.”

“And I’m not that patient,” Miette said. “So in the event that Serena and what’s-his-face end up together, I’m going to give her a big congratulations. You win.”

Just then, the timer for the macarons went off and Serena scrambled to turn it off, not wanting the sound to be too irritating on the livestream.

“How are they looking, Delphox?” she asked.

“Del, del!”

Delphox reached in and pulled out the sheet tray, and Serena could see the perfect feet that the macarons had formed. They might not be shaped impeccably, but at least they’d cooked well.

“That’s perfect,” Nini, said. “Now we can put in the PokéPuffs!”

Nini did just that as Delphox set out the macaron halves to cool and Serena started on the buttercream filling, able to do it completely by muscle memory.

“Aw, Serena, look at this comment,” Shauna said. “It says: Don’t worry, Serena. Relationships are all about timing. This guy might be the guy for you, or Miette, in parenthesis, but today wasn’t the day. Maybe tomorrow or next Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s so nice,” Serena said, touched to find that her fans were such lovely people. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I hope you’re right.”

Delphox had been fanning a sheet pan over the macarons, quickening their cool-down process. Miette touched one of the cookies and declared, “I think they’re cool enough to pipe now!”

Serena had just started scooping the buttercream into a fresh piping bag when Shauna came over and bumped her on the hip. “I’ll do this part, Serena. You should read what people are saying to you for a minute. They’re your fans!”

Since this was Serena’s first livestream, she was surprised to see how quickly the chat was flying by. It was hard to grab onto any one thing to respond to, but it was touching to see how many people were watching and cared enough to write in. There were messages about the food, people saying they were fans of the other girls, and lots of people grateful for the stream, as they didn’t have any Valentines plans themselves. They didn’t feel so lonely, because they felt a kinship with Serena and her friends.

Serena couldn’t help but think of Valentine’s Days passed as she imagined all the people at home watching her stream. Last Valentine’s Day, Serena had been traveling with Ash, Clemont, and Bonnie. It had been lovely to be with Ash, of course, though it wasn’t exactly in the way she might have hoped. And every year before that, she’d been alone with her mother, wishing that she was with Ash, or someday would be. Funny how when she finally was, it ended up being so different from her imagination.

Really, it felt like her first real Valentine’s Day was this one. Even if she didn’t have a date, this was the first time she was doing anything to celebrate. And everyone at home was celebrating along with her.

“You know what, I want to answer that first question honestly,” Serena declared suddenly.

“Which one?” Shauna asked

“The first one Miette asked—”

“Geez, that was, like, half an hour ago!”

“Regardless,” Serena said. “The one about who I wish I was with tonight. The truth is that I feel a bit sad that I’m not with the guy I have a crush on. I feel a bit lonely, like I’m seeing a lot of you at home feel. But you know what? I think I would probably feel a bit lonely if I were on a dream date with him too. I think that’s just something that people feel. But what I said before was the truth too: I couldn’t be happier to be with my gal pals tonight, enjoying Galentine’s Day.”

Shauna grinned. “Yeah! Galentine’s Day!”

“Or Palentine’s or whatever it is for you,” Serena continued. “Any day that reminds us of our connections with other people, and Pokémon,” Serena added, sparing a look at Delphox, “and encourages us to spend time with them is a good day. But it’s just what you make of it.”

“And we,” Nini said, bringing the finished macarons into the picture, “are making the finest desserts in Kalos tonight.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Serena started, only to be cut off by Miette plopping one in her mouth.

“No, she’s right. Fuck, Serena, these are amazing!”

“Miette!” Serena exclaimed. “You can’t say that!”

Miette wiped a bit of frosting off the corner of her mouth and winked at the camera. “Oops.”

“Seriously, Miette, they could strike my channel!”

“Nothing to be done now!”

“Okay!” Shauna said, pushing in front of the other girls. “I think that’s the end of our stream! Thanks to Serena for hosting all of us, and make sure you check out everyone’s links in the description below. Sorry you all couldn’t see us assemble the PokéPuffs, but rest assured that we will, and then we’ll eat all of them until the only pain we have is in our stomachs. Everyone, have a fantastic Galentine’s Day and we’ll see you all next time! Bye!”

Only Nini managed to join in waving to the camera before Shauna ended the broadcast with a sigh.

“Well, that’s that.”

“Why did you end the broadcast there?” Serena asked. “Shouldn’t I have said something to everyone? What if there were more comments we needed to respond to?”

“Sorry, I just figured we’d better end things before Miette decided to say anything else.”

“I really am sorry, Serena,” Miette said, in a tone that made it difficult for Serena to tell if she was being truthful or not. “These are just some really effing good macarons. For real.”

“If that’s the case…” Nini reached over and grabbed one, giving it a once over. Despite the uneven heart shape, the cookie had the same coloring all the way through, looking perfectly cooked all the way around. When she popped it into her mouth, she couldn’t help but moan. “Oh yeah. We’re definitely gonna eat these until our stomachs hurt.”

Serena was unable to hide a grin as any irritation she felt towards Miette or Shauna evaporated. She just loved feeding people good food.

“Just you wait until the PokéPuffs are ready,” Serena said, pulling out a berry that looked like a large lima bean. “I got us some Micle berries. They’re pretty rare, but they have this incredible flavor that makes your mouth just pucker like when you’re drinking a dry wine. Squeezing just a bit of them on top of my PokéPuffs is my secret weapon.”

“God, how can you be making me hungry while I’m already eating?” Shauna asked, digging into the macarons as well.

“Ugh, why aren’t they ready yet?” Nini complained.

Serena shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to spend all day together.”

The girls looked at each other, smiling. Yeah, maybe it would have been nice to be in a nice romantic restaurant across from Ash, holding hands and eating expensive food. But beyond that possibility, Serena was so thankful for the reality of her best girl friends here with her on this February fourteenth, doing something they all loved, together.

That was really a happy Valentine’s day.

FIN

[aro-neir-o]

Carnival of Aros: New January 2020 Roundup

You all no-doubt saw my frantic posting and reblogging of the submissions on Friday (apologies; I thought I had spread those out, but no, I did not queue things correctly).

Thank you to everyone who submitted something and also to everyone who interacted with the submissions. I very much enjoyed hosting this carnival and everyone had something interesting to say. I myself did not have the spoons to write my own piece but a lot of my thoughts and feelings were echoed in others’ pieces.

I am following the format the December Carnival of Aros host used for the roundup. There is a Short List which is an amalgamation of links to all the submissions and a Long List with commentary about what each submission covered in terms of themes or topic. The Long List is under the Read More link.

SHORT LIST

Isaac, Part One and Part Two

Briar

Annie

Maximus

Ace of Arrows

Izel

Laura

Le herbe

Sennkestra

Scoop

LONG LIST

The first post Isaac wrote covers how learning the difference between asexuality and aromanticism opened up many doors for thinking about orientation, especially how a-spec orientations interact with non-a-spec orientation. Additionally, coining the term “squish” helped explain a lot of the non-normative platonic feelings aromanticism brought with it, and so new conceptualizations were able to be shared with the whole community. The second post talks about how discovering aromanticism interacted with discovering gender for Isaac. Orientation models that work with aromanticism can be applied to gender as well, so that one’s relationship to their sex can be considered separately from one’s relationship to gender.

“I didn’t identify as aromantic immediately, and as asexual even later, but splitting what was socially tangled opened new doors to me. [...] Sharing the terminology of “squish” with other people aware of aromanticism has allowed me to express clearly my feelings and even to establish a queerplatonic relationship, though I didn’t know of the terminology yet. [...] I could realize my gender identity because I split biological sex and psychosocial gender even for identity, where they are usually grouped together.”

In their post, Briar talks about how re-closeting themself has made them approach aspects of their identity differently. They mention how the prioritization of the identities they have in their life seems to be different from most aro bloggers, and how this makes them feel distanced from the community. How many issues framed as aro-specific issues are also being taken up by alloromantic people was also something they touch upon. They also share how a poem written by their friend resonated with aro experiences, giving an in-depth analysis of each stanza.

“I’m not trying to get some sort of reassurance that I can include myself in the aro community with this. It’s more that I’ve realized that not every group or community is made up of 200% committed Ride Or Die people, even if said group is considered young and relatively smaller than more established groups. [...] When I was first trying to figure out if I was somewhere under the aro umbrella at all, I came up with a term that I felt encompassed my specific experience. It kinda, sorta has overlap with a few other terms that I’ve seen a few times (definitely not often), but I’ve honestly never felt like sharing that term would actually accomplish anything in the aro community.”

Annie submitted a beautiful piece of art that expresses feelings of happiness upon discovering the aromantic identity. How the vocabulary and conceptualizations of the aro community helped Annie craft a new self can be seen in the colourful and prideful painting. Giving back to the community and sharing these feelings of happiness and gratitude really comes through in the piece.

“I have always been kinda creative, and I really wanted do something for the aro community and for myself. I discovered I was aro a year ago, and it made me so happy to have this new label that was almost made for me.”

Maximus wrote faer post on how discovering aromanticism can help one understand romance better. Fae talks about faer experiences with compulsory romance and heteronormativity growing up, and how understanding aromanticism helped with stepping back and becoming less judgemental towards others who experience romantic attraction. Furthermore, how romance can look very different for different people opened up a whole new understanding of love for Maximus.

“Being able to situate myself in the aro identity has given me a new, and frankly better, way to address the emotions and trends of my peers. Honestly, spending years of my life assuming people were being dramatic on purpose as a way of gaining or asserting social status was not the healthiest. It hasn't been until recently that I've been able to move away from the mindset that romance is a horrible thing. It is simply a strong emotion that I don't experience. The assumption that I did experience it was always, and continues to be, the worst part.”

The post Ace of Arrows made centers on positivity and acceptance of diversity. Channeling a mutually understood frustration into positive action is one such theme covered in the post. Ace of Arrows also discusses how aromanticism as an individual preference of orientation is deeply linked to narratives normalized in Western culture - narratives that are, historically speaking, new. The post ends with some book recommendations that align with Ace of Arrows’ own journey learning about alternative relationship models.

“I often think about how “romance” and the idea of “marrying for love” are actually very recent concepts that started gaining traction in the West some time around the middle of the 20th century, and yet we act as if this is how all humans everywhere have always conducted their relationships. [...] So it follows that there have also always been people who have conducted their individual relationships in a manner that is more closely aligned to the relationships of aromantic people today than the normalised romantic narrative of society.”

Izel submitted a poem, titled “To all the aros.” The poem opens with a call to other aros who share Izel’s experiences of frustrations and rejection, and it reads as a uniting anthem against these negative feelings. Acceptance of one’s own identity and of the diversity of aromantic experiences shine through as major takeaways from this piece.

“I thought that I needed a fairytail love story in my life in order to be happy. … … But I don’t need that.Aros don’t need that, don’t we? We don’t feel romantic attraction, and that’s ok.And some of us feel some romantic attraction, and that’s ok, too. Sometimes, romance isn’t for everyone.”

In her post, Laura discusses how new doesn’t always equate with excitement and optimism. Things that are new can just as often cause us fear and nervousness. Laura discusses how Tumblr has contributed to aro activism and growth, in both positive and negative ways. Finally, Laura calls for the aro community to continue reinventing itself and continue “becoming new,” to shed the fears that come with change, and to commit to real inclusion.

“I want to see the aro community grow. I want to see it create new resources, explore issues that have never been explored before, and build a foundation for a vibrant, inclusive community that will continue well into the future. [...] I’ve been doing my best to push the aro community in new directions for the better part of two years now. However, every time I or anyone else tries something new, there are people who are afraid.” 

Herbe de provence wrote a post on how discovering aromanticism, at first, triggered feelings of denial, but then set off a chain reaction of self-reflection that ended up explaining of lot of childhood feelings. Learning about aromanticism gave Le herbe new confidence to be accepting. How accepting and curious LGBTQ+ friends increased Le herbe’s pride in the aromantic identity is also an important theme touched on in the post.

“In truth, when I learned that I was aromantic I earned so much more than just a word to describe my experience for I learned to accept a part of myself I never knew I was reppresing. [...] Many, many months after first reading the word « aromantic » this is still new for me and I sometime have to remind myself that *it is alright to be myself*. That *it is alright to love like I want*, Like I *do*.” 

Sennkestra wrote a post combining the themes of “new” and “allyship.” Being a good ally means being consistently accepting, patient, and an active listener, but it can also mean learning and growing with new ways of being a better ally every so often. Sennkestra shares anecdotes as examples of above-and-beyond allyship and also encourages others to share their own, so that allies to aros everywhere can add new and diverse actions to their repertoire. The little things can count a lot.

“Even though many of these actions are objectively somewhat small things, they show that these people have remembered my identities, taken the time to learn a bit about it, and have had the presence of mind to actively take the chance to support us when they saw an opening. And cumulatively, they all add up to a lot of support that’s made it much easier to live the lifestyle I want to live without anxiety, and given me the backing I need to continue to do active work even with audiences who might not be so supportive.”

In her post, Scoop talks about how discovering the aro community brought her new understandings and connections with people that she was missing, but it also made connecting with non-aros that much harder. Scoop also describes her struggles choosing between non-SAM and alloaro labels - both of which resonate with her but are considered completely separate microcommunities. Finally, while Scoop expresses about her excitement with involving herself in new types of activism, she also expresses her fear about being outed in these situations. What’s new isn’t always without great risk.

“One of my friends will say, every now and then, 'romance isn’t all bad' to me and I find myself taken aback every time. I know it isn’t all bad? Does she think I do? Is it bc I criticise the system? But in reality I want people to find the romance they desire. I just simply think that they deserve it in a way that is much kinder and more considerate than they often receive it. And give it. I've gotten really good at speaking aro and sometimes I'm going to need to translate that language. [...] ”