#also if no other sports anime come out this year (lets hope that wont be true)

[velociheroviridi]

We all really said 2021 sports animes my beloved and i love that for us

[thicctails]

Summer of Whump Day 3 [Drowning/Dehydration]

Omega receives her first swimming lesson in what appears to be a calm, lovely lake. However, something is lurking in the deep, and it’s hungry...

Ω

 “Pillow, stay still!”

 The salamander honked in displeasure, his tail smacking against the metal of the counter. Omega stuck her tongue out as she finished dressing the amphibian in a garment she herself had sewn, with some help from Hunter in the form of sewing lessons. Gripping the brown fabric, she flipped the hood up over Pillow’s head.

 “There!” She exclaimed. “Now you wont get sunburned.”

 She had fashioned Pillow a brown cloak of sorts to protect him from this planet’s bright sun. The material was already a bit worn, but it would serve its purpose. Picking her plump pet up, she held him up to show the other members of the group, who were all getting ready for their trip to the beach.

 “Look, it’s Master Pillow.” She joked, moving one of Pillows arms to make it seem like he was reaching out to the Force.

 Wrecker burst out laughing, leaning against a wall for support. The others smiled at her joke, amused by the outfit. Omega had insisted on bringing Pillow with them, and had also insisted that he needed to have the proper clothes on. They were leaving their armor behind today, being heavy was not a good thing when you planned on swimming, so the Bad Batch was dressed in various forms of apparel. Hunter and Wrecker were wearing swim trunks, Tech and Omega sported swim shirts and swim shorts, and Echo had dressed himself in an airy poncho, not intending to go into the water. He would be relaxing on the beach, soaking up some sun.

 “Ready to go, Omega?” Hunter asked. They were going to be teaching her to swim today, and although he wouldn’t admit it, he was a bit nervous. Every member of his squad had been taught to swim, of course, but that didn’t mean that they did it often. He himself hadn’t swum in years, and he just hoped that his body would remember what to do.

 “Yep! Come on Pillow.” She said, walking out of the ship while still holding Pillow.

 The body of fresh water before them was vast, stretching out far beyond what they could see. Tall, sloping mountains rose up all around them, waterfalls dripping down their rocky faces and spraying out into the miniature ocean below. Omega was in awe at the sight of it all. She was practically vibrating with excitement as she rushed down to the water’s edge under the watchful eyes of Hunter. She set Pillow down, who immediately waddled into the water. Down the beach, Wrecker and Tech also entered the water, swimming out deeper.

 “Hold on kid.” Echo called, coming up beside her. “Here, put this on.”

 He produced a yellow jacket with a couple of buckles on the front. He held it out for her to take, and she stared at it quizzically.

 “What is that?” She asked, reaching out and grasping the jacket.

 “It’s a life jacket. It’ll keep your head above water if you go in too deep.” Echo explained.

 “Good thinking.” Hunter said as Omega slipped on the life jacket. “Alright, come on Omega.”

 “Yes!” She cheered, following Hunter into the water as Echo retreated back to the beach. Advanced prosthetics and water didn’t always mix well.

 The water was cool, but not cold as they waded in. It took a minute of convincing to get Omega to go in once the water started to touch her stomach, but once they had gotten past that point they were ready to begin.

 “Alright, let’s start with the basics. I’m gonna move back a little bit, and you kick your legs to come over to me, okay?” Hunter instructed, swimming backwards in the still water.

 “Okay.” Omega said, nodding her head. Pillow swam beside her, honking in glee as he glided through the blue water before diving down beneath the surface.

 “Good job.” Hunter praised once she reached him. “This time, use your arms to pull yourself forward like this.”

 He demonstrated doing a stroke as he moved back into deeper water. Omega followed behind him, moving her arms as he had. Hunter nodded in approval.

 “Doin’ real good kid. Let’s do that again.” He said, swimming back the way he had came.

 They repeated this activity a few more times until both Hunter and Omega were feeling more confident in Omega’s swimming capabilities. He taught her to tread water, float on her back, and hold her breath underwater. After all was said and done, Hunter told Omega to take off her life jacket. Upon seeing her confused expression, he clarified.

 “In an emergency, you’re not going to be able to rely on a flotation device. You need to know how to swim without one.” He tilted his head downwards slightly. “You can still touch, right?”

 Omega nodded.

 “Alright, I want you to walk out until you can just barely touch. I wont make you swim out farther than that point until you’re ready.” He said, his tone of voice soft and understanding.

 Omega looked nervous for a moment, but she trusted Hunter. Shirking off the life jacket, she took a moment to adjust to the feeling of being in the water without it. She felt heavier, but not so heavy that she would sink. If the others could do it, she would learn to as well.

 She walked forward until she had to strain to keep her head above water. Her feet still touched, but she would have to go on her toes if she wanted to walk any farther.

 “I think this is as far as I can go.” She said, stepping back a smidgen.

 “Then I’ll stand there, and you can go back a bit. I want you to swim to me without the life jacket on.” Hunter said, moving to stand beside Omega.

 The young girl nodded and did as she was told. It took a few tries, but she was soon able to swim to Hunter without having to stop and put her feet down. The enhanced clone smiled and ruffled her hair.

 “You’ve taken to swimming like a fish takes to water. I’m proud of you, kid.” He praised.

 Omega beamed and began swimming around, enjoying her new skills. Hunter allowed himself to float on his back, always keeping an eye on Omega even as he relaxed.

 “Hey Omega, come check out this cool shell!” Wrecker’s voice carried easily across the watery expanse. He was holding a spiraled shell, bright green and orange in colour. Omega’s curiosity reared its head, but she looked to Hunter for approval first.

 Hunter mentally judged the distance before nodding towards the forgotten life jacket.

 “Go, but put that on first. They’re out beyond where you can touch.”

 “Okay!” Omega agreed cheerily, putting the life jacket on.

 She paddled deeper into the water body, the ripples from her movements ebbing out across the water’s surface. Tech and Wrecker floated in the water, enjoying the warm sun as they waited for her to reach them.

 The water was calm.

 Suddenly, Pillow exploded up from beneath the water. He honked wildly, making a mad dash for shore. Omega stopped in her tracts and stared at the amphibian with confusion and a little bit of worry. Pillow no longer had his protective cloak, and he sounded distressed.

 “Pillow, what’s wrong?” She called, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer.

 “He probably swam down towards the bottom of the lake and found a fish that was bigger than him. Small animals frighten easily.” Tech said, raising his voice a bit so that Omega could hear him.

 Hunter eyed the water suspiciously.

 “Maybe we should go in.” He said, not taking his eyes off of the water.

 “Aw come on Hunter, you’re not scarred of a little fishy, are you?” Wrecker teased.

 Hunter frowned and looked towards Omega. She still hadn’t continued moving, and kept looking between Pillow, who was now hiding behind a very confused Echo and still making loud honks, and the ripples that the amphibian had left behind.

 “Kid?” He called, not sure what she was thinking.

 Omega felt something buzz in the back of her mind, a prickly sensation that made her feel very nervous all of a sudden. Pillow was not an easy animal to scare, he had not been afraid of her or Hunter. What was down there that had frightened him so badly.

 “I-I think I wanna go in now too.” She said, moving to start back towards shore.

 She made ripples in the still water.

 Something brushed her foot, and she jerked away in fright.

 “Omega?” Hunter called again, his brow furrowing. She was right in between him and Tech and Wrecker, neither party close enough to reach her right away.

 Her head whipped towards him, panic clear on her face.

 “Hunter,” She gulped, “I think there’s something in the water.”

 Then, without warning, Omega was dragged under.

   Omega’s mouth clamped shut on instinct, but it was already too late. Water rushed down her windpipe and into her lungs, causing her to choke. The life jacket brought her back up to the surface, and she was able to hack up some of the water and take in a small breath of air before the thing dragged her back under. The first time, it hadn’t grabbed her hard, just holding her foot as it pulled her beneath the surface. This time, however, she felt thick, jagged teeth crush her ankle as her foot disappeared into a monstrous maw.

 She screamed in pain, becoming more disoriented and panicked as the creature that held her began to thrash its head about. Blood filled the water as it released her once again, its long, serpent like body surrounding her. It lunged again, this time going for her chest. It bit down on the life jacket and jerked it’s huge head, tearing off the buoyant garment.

 Panicking and unable to tell which way was up, Omega thrashed in the chilling water as she sunk deeper down. Her chest burned as the horrid liquid filled her lungs and stole away her air. Adrenaline kept her from feeling the pain in her mangled ankle, but fairly soon it wouldn’t even matter. She could feel herself slipping away as darkness began to encroach on her vision. Whether it came from her own dying mind or from the depths themselves, she could not tell. As her panic ebbed away, and her eyes slipped shut, she felt a sense of peace wash over her.

 She welcomed the darkness.

    …

      She didn’t hear the roar of the creature as a blaster bolt exploded its eye, nor did she feel the desperate, calloused hands that gripped her limp form and hauled her free of the deep’s unforgiving grasp. She was unaware of the frightened, panic-stricken voices, the distressed honking, or the mad scramble to get her onto the beach. The compression and gusts of air that were blown into her were not registered by her consciousness.

 The sensation of needing to vomit, however, did.

 Omega turned her head and puked up mouthful after mouthful of water. Her lungs burned with the strength of a thousand suns as she emptied both them and her stomach of their contents. Strong, comforting arms were around her instantly, and she could feel small tremors run through the person’s body.

 “Oh thank the Maker.” Hunter’s voice was a bit shaky, like he was recovering from a big scare.

 “Omega, can you breathe?” Tech was suddenly in front of her, and with his glasses off she could see that his pupils had constricted into pinpricks.

 She nodded. She felt like she’d been kicked in the chest and her throat felt raw and stinging, but air did in fact enter and exit her lungs. She’d never been happier for that simple pleasure than right now.

 “Good. We need to get you to a medical centre, but that ankle requires immediate- no don’t look at it! Just, just focus on me or Hunter, okay? Don’t, don’t look down.” Tech’s voice picked up in speed as he directed her attention upwards. She still couldn’t feel her ankle, but she had a feeling that wouldn’t last.

 Leaning against Hunter’s chest, she sucked in as much air as she could. She felt like she was going to cough up a lung. A particularly loud honk came from below her, and soon Echo was handing her Pillow. The salamander settled around her neck, pressing himself against her.

 “Y’tried to warn us, din’ ya? You knew wha’ was comin’.” She rasped in between coughs. “We should lis’n to you more.”

 Pillow honked softly in agreement. Omega smiled weakly at him and leaned against his wrinkly, pudgy body.

 “Stay awake, Omega. We don’t know if all of the water has exited your lungs, and you could experience “second drowning”. Tech said apologetically. The poor girl was exhausted, but they couldn’t let her sleep yet.

 “Second drowning? The hell is that?” It was Wrecker that spoke up this time. He sounded stressed, as did everyone else.

 “It’s a phenomenon that can occur if water remains in the lungs. We need to make sure that her lungs are free of water or she could begin to drown again, even if she’s on dry land.” Tech explained.

 “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Hunter growled. Omega could feel the reverberations in his chest.

 “Then let’s hurry up and get off this hell-planet. I’m sick of looking at that makerforsaken lake.” Echo said, moving into the pilot seat. Omega blinked. When had they made it onto the ship?

 “Hold tight kid, we’re gonna get you help.” Hunter said, and Omega nodded weakly.

 As the ship’s door closed, Omega took one more look at the lake that she had been so excited to be in.

 The water was still once more.

 She tucked her head into Hunter’s chest and tried to will away the image of the monster that lurked just beneath the deceptive surface.

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Hendery

major: general biology 

minor: infectious diseases

clubs: part of chinese culture club with sicheng + tutors sometimes but he gets off-track easily, wont admit it out loud but attends the magic the gathering gettogethers often as well, extraterrestrial enthusiasts club

sports: he originally joined xiaojun for one of his ballet classes as a joke, but ended up really liking it and now he shows up regularly and the professor thinks hendery’s upbeat, chattery attitude is so “charming” and xiaojun just,,,,,,rolls his eyes like ma’am you don’t even know,,,,,,,,

hendery is a force to be reckoned with - not necessarily in a bad way, but if you aren't a high-strung energetic type then 

it can be hard to keep up

but the truth is, hendery is just like that because he’s a natural born people-pleaser 

making others happy by making himself the goofiest he can be actually brings him a lot of joy

and he finds no shame in carrying the ‘class clown’ title from high school into his college years

he takes everything with ease, kun and xiaojun frequently ask if he’s being an idiot on purpose, and hendery just thinks its hilarious 

yangyang and yukhei usually just egg on his jokes and stunts 

yukhei likes to partake in them too 

but yangyang is a little too smart 

and wont take on any bet thrown at him the way these two will

and believe me, hendery’s got a record for it 

in his freshman year, he applied to a bunch of frats - only to see if he could past initiations 

getting pied in the face, lugging mattresses across the quad, standing up in the middle of class to profess his love to the professor 

all of those tests were easy-peasy ,,,,,, and even though he’d passed them all ,,,,,,, in the end he didn't even join any of the frats

just thanked them for the “fun times” while the other recruits eyed him like he was insane

basically, he will do anything asked of him - especially if itll make for what he refers to as “good comedy”

if it really is “good comedy” you have to ask the spectators - and the people who end up being pulled into it - which more than often are either his friends or his classmates

so why general bio? and even weirder - why infectious diseases?

well as silly as hendery is, the silliness doesn't translate well into art or literature 

like he tried his hand at poetry and pottery and other humanities 

and lets just say ,,,,,,,,,,, it didn't work out

(he’s banned from the literature department)

science on the other hand,,,,,,,,

leaves much more space for silliness than hendery could have ever imagined

although its a lot of math and rigorous testing - hendery enjoys the adventurous part of science

he likes opening textbooks with colorful, kind of icky, diagrams

have you ever seen the inside of a cell? hendery thinks it looks like a clown maze at the amusement park - he loves it!!!

biology is one of the most hands-on sciences 

and when people in his intro course were gagging at the idea of disecting a frog

hendery was just like “leave it to me - even though i was only half listening to the professors instructions!”

and diseases are even more interesting to him

because their genetic makeup is so funny, and their scientific names are even funnier!!!!!!!

“hey xiaojun, you know what i learned about today? leptospirosis. LEPTOSPIROSIS - doesn't it sound kinda like leprechaun!?!?!? i almost died laughing in lab!!!!!” 

xiaojun: how is that even funny

kun: just let the child amuse himself

sometimes people mistake his enthusiasm about his major as meaning he isn't actually interested in it as a career

just taking part in it like some inside joke

but that's far from the truth

hendery is actually a pretty proficient scientist when the topic intrigues him

and although hes loud and a little disruptive in actual lab

there are rare occurrences when you can find him quietly working on his results and papers

there’s nothing funny about making a mistake in science, hendery knows and understands that 

and even though he doesn't tell many people it - he does have some interest in taking steps toward entering the medical field

but hes kept it a secret - because no one would take him seriously anyway so there isn't any point in talking about it

when hes not in class, making the professor groan and the students snicker behind their laptops

he’s usually at someone elses dorm rather than his own

he’s almost always given an invite to a party, people are always calling him over to join them for late night drinking or karaoke 

because if hendery is there - it is guaranteed to be a good time

on multiple occasions, ten and kun have had to come to his aid

there was one time where hendery kind of totally overdid it and ten even had to facetime hendery’s mom 

she had given him an earful over the phone, thanking ten when she was finally done

and just as hendery thought he could scurry off, ten had told him he had his own lecture in store

hendery’s busy social life isnt a problem for xiaojun though, who he shares his dorm with

hendery’s gone most of the time so xiaojun dumps all his stuff in the closet and is happy to use the extra space for ballet practice

,,,,,,,,,,until hendery stumbles in at 4pm on a sunday and is like “hey!” before passing out directly on the floor

look me in the eyes and try and tell me hendery doesn't have corny meme stickers on his laptop. you cant. 

although hes wild, and a hand full, his friends do really care about him

and when they’re all together 

kun and ten admit that hendery is extremely good at cheering them up

xiaojun and yangyang do have to agree that life would be boring without him

and sicheng and yukhei, who never interfere with his lifestyle choices, reveal that hendery is a good friend

when anyone needs something

hendery will jump through hoops to get it

and he’s usually up for taking the blame if something goes wrong

that’s exactly how you end up meeting hendery

back in highschool you two hadn’t ever interacted, mostly due to the fact that you had transferred in during senior year

and you were a bit on the reserved side

with an interest in quiet library's and flying under the radar till graduation

while hendery was much more of a social butterfly 

with people begging for him to follow back on instagram or make it to their weekend parties

you had both existed in virtually different worlds - until you found yourself in a really, really, really bad situation

it had been the literal last day of highschool 

you were one hundred and one percent sure you had absolutely everything out of your locker, most importantly - your college acceptance letter

which was one of your proudest achievements, but also the only document with your student id notification which you’d need for registrations and the acceptance orientation

giddy as you walked out toward the bus, you rummaged around in your bag one last time

just so you could pull it out and read it all over again when -

you must have looked absolutely insane on the curbside, dumping everything out of your bag and digging around like a rabid animal

but it was gone - your folder with your letter, and not to mention your graduation certificate, GONE

you scoop everything back up and run back toward the school - you’re happy that you see a figure coming out of the front door

because that means you can still get inside

the boy brushes past you and the door shuts behind him - you pull at the bar and then he turns around, taking his headphones off

“oh, the schools closed. the janitor let me out but-”

your eyes are so wide and full of terror when you turn that hendery can’t even finish his sentence

you look like you’ve seen a ghost and he asks you whats wrong

“m-m-my- a-a-accept-acc- my-m-”

hendery doesn’t understand any of your muttering - so he does what he always does when his friends go into a stupor

he grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a good shake

you’re about to yell at him, but it actually lets you collect yourself for a moment

you turn and start feverishly banging on the door 

“what are you doing?!”

“you said something about a janitor - if he hears us he’ll let me back inside and i can get my letter!”

hendery sort of stares at you, for the first time he’s in the position where he looks at someone and thinks - seriously? are you insane, all this over some letter?

when usually he’s on the receiving end of such judgement

but either way, he tells you to stop - the janitor isn’t going to hear some loud bangs and come running

you guys are going to have to do something bigger to his attention

before you know it, hendery’s dropped his bag and circles around the school

you follow him, not sure of what else to do - but when he’d said you had to do something bigger, it sounded like he had a plan

and hendery does have a plan - he stops outside the large glass window right under the gym

“ok, you - go back to the front entrance. when the janitor steps out, run in through the door and get your letter.”

“how are you going to get him to step out?!”

hendery looks around, pushing aside some of the shrubs and picking up a rock

you look at it, then him, and then the window

“you're not going to-”

he feigns offense, “destroy school property? of course not! now go - run to the front.”

you only half believe him, but you need that letter more than anything, so you circle back to where you started

it all happens in a blurry flash - you hear something shatter, you hear the door push open a minute or two later, you dash passed and down the empty halls

you’re so focused on getting your letter and getting the hell out of there that you don’t notice the voices outside or the big crack in the window as you’re running back 

with your letter in hand, you sort of disappear before you can get caught up in whatever hendery’s plan was

and hope that he at least got away too

the next time you see him is at freshman orientation

you’re surprised that this school was his choice and under any other circumstance you’d brush it away

but you’re itching to know

so when you approach him and ask, how did he help you out on that faithful day (does he even remember it?)

hendery grins, wide and bright

“of course ii remember it! the janitor caught me and ii had to do community service or pay a fine. spent half my time cleaning up garbage in a park because of you!”

the words aren't malicious - actually he doesnt even look mad when you apologize for such a big inconvenience

instead he just tells you it was worth it - it took him sometime, but he figured that the letter you’d been going on about like crazy had to be something ultra important

you hadn’t even known this dude - and yet, he was talking to you like he had just done a favor for an old friend

since then, you’d grown closer to him 

and now you both where in your junior years - you’d become a part of his friend group and he had become someone so much more than just a stranger 

looking back at it - you’d never thought you and him would get along on such a deep level

but you did, and you suspected it had most to do with the fact that no matter how goofy or dumb his antics were

hendery had never and would never intend to hurt anyone 

in fact, he’d put himself in harms way first

and his loyalty was something lost on most people your age - you admired it 

sometimes, you were even jealous of the pure-natured almost naïve way he went about life

so now you’re sitting in his dorm, xiaojun is at his desk watching ballet recitles and you’re shifting through hendery’s messy pile of books and papers

“isn’t your lab due tomorrow - how did you manage to lose it?”

he rummages through his backpack and whines

“i didn't loooose it- i bet kun stole it!”

“kun isn’t taking a bio class, you just probably tossed it out like always.”

“hey!”

you turn to see hendery’s signature pout, deep dark eyes big and hurt

“you’re making me sound so dumb!”

“hendery,,,,,,,sometimes - you are.”

he sticks his tongue out and you continue to look through the pile, your hands stop when they reach the thin, silver book that is your highschool yearbook

your copy is at home, you wonder for a second why hendery’s is here

“did you find it?!”

hendery bounds over and you cover it up quickly - giving him a playful shove away

“no, now keep looking - or else you’re going to have to re-do all fifteen pages tonight!”

he whines, but returns to his corner of the room. your fingers tap the stack of paper and you feel a weird wave of nostalgia hit you

it’s broken up as the door swings open to the dorm and sicheng walks calmly through it

he passes you a handful of crumpled papers

“found hendery’s lab report in our trashcan.”

you turn to glare at hendery who puts his hands up and grins

“oops?”

after you leave hendery to retype his lab, you find yourself thinking about that yearbook again

you’ve been hendery’s friend for almost three years now - but in highschool you guys hadn’t even spoken

you’ve never thought about it before, but it’s almost shameful that you lost all those years 

because hendery is a good friend, a lifelong friend

you and him could have had so many more memories together if instead of meeting on the last day in an almost comical twist of events

he could have been in your literature class, or you could have been his tutor and then you two could have just bonded like you did in college and become friends, even maybe-

lovers

you stop walking as the word flashes through your mind

“no, that’s just,,,,,,,silly.”

you toss the momentary curiosity to the side - if anything, ever since you started college you’d only had one crush on somebody

a crush so secret, you hadn’t even dared to write it down in your journal - let alone tell anyone

and you planned on keeping it that way

afterall, you had a degree to get and you were so - so close.

a couple of weeks later you find yourself handing in the last paper before a small spring break, you plan on going home when you get a call

hendery’s voice full of excitement

“whens your train home?” 

he asks, not bothering with a greeting - he’s probably the only person you know who likes to jump right into any conversation

“tomorrow, around three.”

“cool - so that means you can party tonight!”

you roll your eyes - that's another thing you’ve gotten into since being hendery’s friends, parties

although they still aren’t your favorite pastime - you have to admit, they can be entertaining

and you and ten have sort of agreed that as the responsible ones, being at the party would at least mean hendery (and on most occasions yukhei) would have a safe way to get home

“maybe, depends on the party.”

hendery’s laugh is a sound so familiar - and so nice you sometimes think you can hear it forever and not grow sick and tired of it at all

“actually this time it’s at johnny’s place in the city! he finally got out of the dorms since he’s in graduate school now - but ten convinced him somehow.”

you know johnny suh, who doesn’t, a graduate student in film studies and super close friend of ten’s 

back when you and hendery were still freshmen, johnny was the one known on campus for being a little too wild

but now, hendery seems to have stolen the title

“well if it’s at his place I guess it’ll be pretty small, im just happy we aren’t going back to that frat.”

hendery makes a disgusted sound

“nah! that place was boring and remember how i almost punched that guy out for-”

“yes, i remember. what time should i be heading over?”

“ill pick you up at ten!”

you hang up and smile, something in your chest warms a little - a feeling you haven’t felt before 

sometimes he can be so crazy, and then sometimes he really is a gentleman 

the thought doesnt occur to you as being unique in anyway, and you try hard not to fester on that weird feeling in your chest

hendery is late - because of course he is - but you’re used to it and give him just a little bit of a scold as you two walk toward the metero

other than that the conversation is the same, plans, friends, potential people you’ll run into at the party, etc.

you and hendery stand close to each other on the subway, his hand comes up to hold your shoulder when the cart jerks or someone is pushing past you to get in

you poke the hole in his tshirt hem and mutter that he should at least ask xiaojun to sew it up

when you both get to the party, johnny is already half a wine bottle in by the flush on his face and the way ten is chasing after him 

sicheng and kun are there, mingling among themselves and waving you guys over

hendery says he’s going to join them and you’re about to step toward them to

when you feel someone tap your shoulder

you turn, and something in your body feels like it snaps

yukhei smiles at you and starts asking where hendery is - but you are looking over his shoulder at the person behind him

lee taeyong

the computer science major who had also studied alongside johnny at your college when you were a freshman

you had seen him when you had just started your first couple of weeks and that entire year had been like you were enchanted

he was an otherwise reserved, soft-spoken person

but his reputation was the unattainable heartbreaker - who would turn down confessions politely but with little to no regard

he was beautiful when you last saw him, and he was beautiful now - all this time later

whats he doing here? 

you’d been to johnny’s place before and had never seen him around, other graduate students sure but not taeyong

“ah! by the way - this is taeyong. he graduated but i met him because he’s here to-”

you bow a little and rush through the crowd toward the solitary confinement of the bathroom

to your luck, two voice shout from inside that its occupied so you escape to the stairs of the building - going up a couple of floors until the sound of the party is nothing but a drawl

you don’t know why, but seeing him hurts

it’s because he was the first person you ever really loved

you don’t get it too - your communications with him had been limited to a two time greeting in the computer lab late during finals week

you had seen him around, you’d once even followed him embarrassingly through the library

you knew nothing about him but his major and his beauty

so what made your heart fall so hard never really made sense

the way you’d felt was so confusing and therefore it made you so ashamed

you had thought about telling your friends to understand - why, but never did

and so you curl up a little and think that tonight its only a good idea for you to go

“ah! there you are - hey, are you crying?”

hendery’s voice breaks you out from your thoughts and you unravel a little to huff at him

“im not crying, im just -”

he sits down and puts a hand on your knee

“did some asshole try something, if you need me to get them let me know - you know how good ii am at rock throwing!”

the little inside joke makes you crack a smile and you shake your head

“its not that, i was just feeling a little cramped in there.”

he pulls to cans of beer from his jean pockets and sets them down

“that’s fine, we can party up here! just the two of us!”

you’d resist - but something about his cheer wins you over

you spend what feels like hours up there, hendery running back and forth between the flights to bring back more beer and snacks

you dont know how many cans are littered around you until your head falls against his shoulder

and if you were sober, you’d feel him tense up

“hey hendery - wanna hear a secret?”

you giggle and hendery turns a little, your eyes are glittering and your speech is just a little bit crocked

“sure, but ii think this should be your last can!”

he slips the beer from your hand - and you make a badly attempted reach for it that just lands your palm against his thigh

again, his body goes into alert, but you just keep going

“i have a crush on someone.”

you hiccup and hendery swallows - his heartbeat is a loud thudding in his ears

“o-oh yeah? on who?”

“wwwwwwwellllllll,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

you sit up and hendery looks at you again - you brace his shoulders

“taeyong.”

you hiccup and grin

“lee taeyong.”

with that you let go of hendery’s shoulders which have dropped anyway

you tilt your head back and hendery lurches forward to grab you when you start tipping over

your eyes close and you feel your head hit something soft - probably the front of hendery’s shirt

you whisper the next sentence, but hendery never hears it

“used to - i used to have a crush on him but now i think i,,,,,”

the words don't come out but it doesnt matter, hendery touches your cheek with his palm and sighs

you’re out cold for now

and he says something you never hear too

“damn, and here i was. stupid enough to think you were going to say my name instead.”

 the incident doesnt come back to you - not even when you’ve had an advil and are drinking coffee in the morning as you pack for home

your group chat is talking about yukhei doing something weird and your other texts are normal

so you just assume ,,,,,,,, nothing happened

and that's what it feels like 

until you’re back to classes after spring break and 

“soooooooooooo, a little birdie told me a secret over the break!”

you turn your head and look up to see yukhei

he plops himself down in the chair across from you and nearly sends the whole table shaking

you grab your laptop and coffee before it knocks over

“you and your giant knees need to be more careful.”

he waves it off and leans forward

“so, lee taeyong.”

your fingers, which had been diligently typing up your homework stop short

yukhei claps his hands and points a finger gun at you

“so you do like him! well, good news for you i got his number at the party and you guys are both all about work and school and-”

you shut your laptop and the noise makes yukhei’s voice shake for a second

“who told you about taeyong.”

yukhei scratches his head and leans back

“well i probably shouldn’t tell you but hendery. he heard taeyong and i got introduced by johnny so he thought i could help you-”

hendery?

something twists

hendery, did i tell hendery? when?

you stare into your lap and gasp

the party, i got drunk and i told him at the party and he -

“w-who else knows?”

yukhei waves his hand, trying to calm you down

“just the usual, but we all support it - im pretty sure taeyong is single and -”

he told, everyone?

a multitude of thoughts runs through your mind, but the biggest question is why

even if you were a little out of it, you know you wouldn't have just told hendery to go about spreading your secret

you’re sure, even if its fuzzy, that if you confided in him - you would have made it somehow clear that no one else should know

and hendery was close enough to you, that if there was a chance you hadnt done that, he’d instinctively know

which only leaves one real explanation - hendery isnt your friend, he spilled your secret to humiliate you

all these years - all this time - was he just waiting for it? for the right moment to make you some kind of laughingstock?

you stand up and gather your things, you ignore yukhei’s confusion and when he tries to stop you - you just push past him

it must be for payback, he must have been actually so pissed about that stupid stunt he pulled for me in highschool. after all, he probably got a stain on his record because of it and so he plotted to make me look like a fool one day right - right!

your logical brain starts moving, making up more and more scenarios

he probably thought - oh why do I have to take the blame for some stupid stranger! but didn't know what else to do so he befriended me and made him trust me

your brain runs like a crazed engine, but something in your chest fights against it

suddenly you think about it again

trust, hendery is the one person i fully trust. there isn't any reason for him to hurt me

a glimmer of that hopefulness washes right away when you get a text from an unknown number

you stare at it and re-read it

the anger that had powered you before surges up through you again

‘hi, this is lee taeyong. your friend told me how you feel and while im grateful for the compliment - ii don't want to let you pine for no reason. im currently not looking for a relationship, but lets be friends if the chance arises.’

what kind of stupid text is that - i don't want to date you! im not some lovestruck idiot! why are you treating me like one? why did hendery make me out to be one? hendery - hendery - im never going to fucking forgive you

and you don't - you block the number, you delete the contact, you know his schedule and you make it a point to avoid him at all costs

even his friends, who you thought were your friends once, aren't immune from the cold shoulder

and so when kun ends up sitting beside you on the bus - you’re so damn headstrong about it all that you get off at the next stop

part of you knows this is childish, and you’re supposed to be the big adult - the responsible one

like you’ve always been

but 

but hendery isn't even making an effort to reach out

actually, you think you’d probably haven given in by know if he’d called you or tried to reach you

he knows your schedule too so you thought hed track you down and at least ask whats going on

but he hasnt

which all you take is the fact that your point has been proven

this insane theory about how he’d befriended you for almost three years was just to find someway to get back at you in the end

and he’d done it! and he was satisfied! 

and it hurt

that's what it was 

painful

after a while it was less and less about your stupid little crush on a senior, and more and more about the fact that you had lost you friend

a person who you thought would have your back forever

a person who the universe didn't intend for you to even be near, to ever be close to

the opposite end of the spectrum and yet he had defied that all

and had left an impact on you that you thought would be with you forever

the blind kindness, the forgiving heart, the prone to accidents and silliness and just horrible decision making in general all for the sake of someone elses happiness

all of that had made you cherish him

at this point - you found yourself sitting up in bed - staring at the screen of your phone that used to ping nonstop with his texts

and realize you missed your friend

and worse of all

you missed your friend who you were starting to fall in love with

lee taeyong had been this ideal for you, beautiful and studios, the perfect match

you had daydreamed about bringing him home to your family, how he’d probably be so sweet and gentle 

but he was this stand-in, he was a dream that you thought you had

when in reality

your dream didn't consist of the graceful, hardworking, flawless man

it was

as you closed your eyes and really thought about it

it was always hendery

clumsy, laidback, overflowing with flaws man that at the center of it all was crafted with a heart of gold

but was he? would someone like that really sell you out?

your answer comes just as the end of your junior is approaching, you’re so mentally exhausted from school and your own feelings

that you don't have the time to focus on anything anymore but getting to your dorm and getting to bed

you accidentally drop one of the textbooks in your hand and when you reach down to get it - another hand extends for it too

you look up and 

oh god no, not right now!

“ah -- hello.”

taeyong gives you polite smile and you barely have enough energy to reply with your own small nod

“how are you?”

please don't do this to me, i don't want to make conversation with you

“fine, and you?”

“good, work hard on your finals!”

you say you will and are happy that he ended it so quickly when,

“also, i am still sorry i couldn't accept your feelings.”

the heavy blanket of tiredness suddenly feels like its aflame on your back

really, did you really have to say that?

some kind of newfound energy spikes up in you and you turn to him

“I know you're my senior, but ii need to say something to you.”

he titls his head

“i don't like you, i had a brief crush on you in freshman year but ii got over it. and no im not saying that to save face, ive already felt enough embarrassment about all this. ontop of that I don't have time to crush on you - im in love with hendery and yeah, i can say that now because it doesnt even matter.”

“YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HENDERY?!?!?!?”

“YUKHEI?”

you pivot around so fast, this time all your books go flying

you hadn’t even noticed him in the haze of weakness and yet - there he is, right behind taeyong

like an unbound puppy he rushes up to you and grabs your hands

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE INTO TAEYONG!”

your instinct is first to tell him to not be so damn loud

but you’ve lost what pride you thought you had and yell right back at him

“NO IM NOT AND YES - I LOVE HENDERY - BUT HIS STUPID ASS HASNT EVEN TRIED TO TALK TO ME AND I HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM BUT I REALLY HATE HIM RIGHT NOW TOO!”

yukhei jumps up and down

you’re not sure he registered the last part of your sentence because something gleams in his eyes that you aren't sure you like

taeyong shakes his head, quietly picking your things up 

“ah, these kids really,,,,,,,,”

you pace up and down your dorm room like mad scientist

why did I do that? why did ii yell that out to the whole campus to hear - what is wrong with me?!?

you check your phone, but there isn’t a call or a text

yukhei has probably blabbed about it to hendery right now - what is going on why is no one telling me what is going on

you pick your phone up and scroll through the blocked contacts, you unblock everyone 

and you do get a flurry of text - but none of them are from hendery

ugh, im so stupid - not only did he trick me into being his friend but now he knows how ii feel about him and is probably laughing about it

you stop and put your hands on your face and groan

fuck you hendery, no one in the world could make me feel this crazy but you

some more time passes and you’re now sure that you’ve just embarrassed yourself further

you spotted kun on the way to your last final yesterday and had almost waved at him like everything was all peachy

when it wasnt

and now as you were packing your things up to leave the lecture hall you almost jump from your skin when someone shouts your name

you look down and beside a shocked professor is 

hendery?!?!?

“DID YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET TO SCREAM ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS?”

oh my god - what is this kid about to do

you watch in shock as the professor taps hendery’s shoulder, but is ultimately ignored

“YOU MADE ME GET ALL DEPRESSED FOR NO REASON - I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERENT EVER GOING TO SPEAK TO ME AGAIN AND THEN YOU JUST GO ABOUT YELLING THAT YOU LOVE ME? THATS NOT FAIR!”

you panic a little because the professor brings out his cellphone and hendery’s gotten in trouble for you before

you kinda think that's going to happen now too

but,,,,,,but you want to hear what he has to say too

“ITS NOT FAIR SO IM GONNA DO THE SAME THING - GET READY BECAUSE IM GONNA LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I - WON KUNHANG - AM IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO!”

just as he finishes, you see the professor put down his phone

your head spins, but you let your feelings be pushed to the side as you maddash toward hendery

the professor probably dialed for on-campus security, and whats worse is this idiot just said his full name! well - let me at least help him out like he helped me!

you grab hendery as soon as you get near him

looking him in the eyes and every part of you is screaming a million and one things

to yell back at him, to get angry, to tell him to fuck off, to tell him you love him to his face, to ask if hes insane for real

but you just

kiss him

the professor jerks back and you can feel hendery’s knees almost give out 

when you pull back you turn to the provfessor and smile

“we’re doing impromptu theater, was it any good?”

your bluff actually manages to work - the security gives you two a stern talking to and tells you to tell the theater club to knock it off with these “public disturbances”

you squeeze henderys hand behind your back when he tries to insist it wasn't a performance, it was his true confession

until you’re finally free of the guard and you let him go

“you could say that kiss was fake all you want, but i know it was real.”

is the first thing he has the AUDACITY to say to you

and although you want to blow up

you want to ask him about how this all happened in the first place

you cant bring yourself to be mad

you just look at him and then sigh

“how’d it end up being you,,,,,,”

he shrugs his shoulders and suddenly his voice gets a little quieter

“i ask myself the same thing,,,,,,”

you furrow your eyebrows and huff

“excuse me? are you saying im not likable-”

he puts his hands up and shakes his head

“no, im just saying you’re right - we definitely aren’t the people we thought we’d fall for. ii mean c’mon, when you said taeyong that night - i just knew you know.”

“knew what?”

“that he was the right choice for you. im just a stupid kid compared to him, there’s nothing about me for you to fall in love with.”

he’s not lying, you can tell by the way his tone is soft and there's a real self-hatered woven into it

your anger about whatever slips away because this is a side of hendery you knew existed but that you also knew he fought hard to not show

“hendery, you are stupid. you’re stupid because you legitimately think you’re inadequate of attention and love. do you know why you’re popular - its not because you’re so funny.”

he stands up straight and the serious look on his face is handsome, but it makes something sharp wedge in your heart

“its because you are one hundred percent selfless. and not for some kind of advantage, but because you really want to help.”

your shoulders drop a little

“i envy you, your hearts pure and your intentions are always good. living life that way is so beautiful, that's the first thing about you that i feel in love with.”

a silent pause follows after

the rawness of the situation dawns on the two of you in a way you didn't think would ever be possible

you've told a lot of things to hendery, you subconsciously spilled one of your biggest secrets to him

so it only makes sense that when it came down to this moment you’d really, honestly tell him everything

you feel as maybe you've made it a little awkward, lecturing him in a moment where you both have confessed when suddenly

you feel his hand take yours

that signature smile back on his face

“oh yeah? what else did you fall in love with?”

half of you wants to snap, the other half - the one that wins bursts out into laughter

the list is long, but in the moment you just answer

“the fact that you’re soooo good at throwing rocks!”

“hey, it is a charm!”

he leans in and his lips settle on yours, they’re warm and soft and you circle your hands around his neck

you had thought about what kissing him would feel like before - once just for fun, but recently for other reasons

you didn't expect him to be so reserved, letting his lips sort of softly part only when you push a little closer to him

its a good second kiss, though you don't think anything will ever beat your first lol

and nothing beats the story too - which makes it to the front of the student journal

(both you and hendery get a talking to from theater club who was NOT happy about you lying - but ultimately did like that you ended up together)

you are in perpetual embarrassment shock for a while

but hendery eats it up! - if anyone as much as mentions it he’‘s like 

“let me tell you the beautiful tale of our lov-”

and you have to clamp your hand over his mouth like lol sorry don't mind him

even in the early stages of dating, you can tell that hendery is that kind of significant other

just like he is with friendships, he gives himself wholeheartedly to the other person

like yes, you just started dating and you know most people don't start off shouting that they love each other 

but you guys are different and although you've somehow become a little shy of using the word

hendery is in it - you are his love, his lovely, his lovable, his capital L love of his goddamn life and if he doesnt get to say it a million times well then

he just isn't trying hard enough

and although his affection is overflowing, and his love language is obviously expression

it is not smothering at all because in reality, you feel exactly as much as he does

its just that you show it off differently, but those who are your friends know

because hendery used to be able to do anything and everything

hence his notoriousness for being down for any dare

but your love language? protection

“no hendery, you are not going to drink hot sauce out of the bottle because yukhei said you couldn't do it.”

“no hendery, you are not going to dress up like the shrek just because ten bought the costume on amazon”

“no hendery, you are not going to climb that fence - hendery get down!”

you aren't trying to limit his free spirit - youre just worried

when you were just friends he was always in some kind of trouble, either with people in authority or covered in bruises and scraps from the aftermath of his silliness

you explained it once to him in the simpliest terms you could think up

squishing his cheeks between your palms youd looked him in the eye and said

“you are my boyfriend, and if you break your arm doing something dumb - what does that mean 1) your arm is broken and 2) you cant hold my hand with that arm so that sucks for me and you - right?”

to be honest you could dangle holding hands or kisses as leverage and hendery will give up on the spot

because lets be honest, he cannot live a day without at least giving you some kind of physical affection

the boy is a bursting pile of cheesy love - and you really try not to use that against him 

because it really is so wonderful and pure

but if he wants to do something dumb you will put your palm out when he leans in to kiss you and he will get all fretty like a big baby

kun at some point: don't you feel like youre a dog owner with a big, misbehaving puppy

you: no, not at all.

kun: really?

you: at least a misbehaving puppy listens sometimes

kun: ah, i see

hendery’s kind of dates include a lot of latenight fast food runs and showing up to your dorm with the excited news that he got a hold of someones netflix password so you guys can binge corny tv shows

you thought he’d be the type to want a new adventure everyday, but surprisingly enough, hes very VERY content with staying in and just snuggling

not to say you two don't have some very memorable and slightly embarrassing date stories 

ahem, that one time hendery got you bubble tea and you were waiting outside and he said “look I can balance both our drinks on my head!”

of course he spilled them all over himself

and you two used up all the napkins in the store before escaping the cashiers glare into a nearby store to get hendery a new tshirt

hendery isn't super flashy by the way, his clothes are mostly comfortable basics, and he likes a bit of an oversized fit

so when you wear them they’re extra loved and cozy

hendery gets a bit fidgety the first time you do it - and you really cannot tell why

you wonder if he doesnt like you borrowing his clothes, but then you roll over a little to cuddle against him and he freezes

and you’re like 

oh, that’s why

hendery - although loud and energetic in all other aspects of life - is a pretty bashful lover

his hands are always a little shaky and he waits for you to lead in with anything more than kisses

and you actually think its very, very adorable 

because he gets this kinda dreamy look in his eyes and his voice gets softer

and when your lips are on his collarbones its like the only thing he can even do is whisper your name against your hair

its a side you enjoy keeping all to yourself, and hendery is so thankful because oh my god no one would let him live it down

xiaojun gets a little grumpy that you and hendery are always around more - but he likes you as a person

(to him, youre the only person who can really keep hendery’s ambitiousness incheck)

so he lets it slide

plus you finally got hendery to stop coming around to his ballet practice, because you refuse to let hendery do so until he finishes his labs

and you know hendery is smart, you tell from the way he can offhandedly answer questions about his major 

and even though he has this idiotic habit of dumbing himself down for comedy

seeing him run up to you and show you the first perfect score on his lab, it really makes you swell with pride

and his interest in infectious diseases and all the weird diagrams of micro-organisms and whatnot doesnt phase you

actually his passion for it makes you excited to listen to him talk

and ten is like ew that thing looks like a bug

and youre like “listen to me, if hendery thinks the cell membrane is cute then you say its cute. ok. or. else.”

gosh when you guys get together - theres this energy that is so ,,,,, sweet - its almost a little dizzying

because its obvious that these feelings you two can so freely show to each other now have been piling up for a while

and now its free reign

sometimes hendery’s bangs get long and hell lean in to kiss you but his hair will tickle you first 

and you always do this like giggle and hiccup when you get tickled

and hendery once blinks and goes

“you know your hiccups are number 105 on the list of things I love about you”

and you laugh because lol wow do you really have a list

and hes like pffft no

(he has a list, it is in his iphone notes)

hendery the type of boyfriend who spends like five weeks planning a celebration for your anniversery

but on the day off hes like F I cant do this and abandones all his plans

and just shows up in front of you with twelve different bundles of flowers and ten different stuffed animals

and is like

“I know you really like roses, but also you said you liked sunflowers when we went to that farm and i know your a cat person, but you also like wolves so I got you-”

he just really really really wants to make you happy

and sometimes you can tell that he thinks he doesnt

that he compares himself to people he thinks are better for you

and that's when you’re just like hendery, look at me - its you. its only going to be you.

because the universe might have felt like you two didn't fit, but its so obvious you do

you made up a rule that if hendery tries to talk down about himself he has to do ten pushups with you on his back

but you never actually make him do it ,,,,, you just spend like an hour telling him he’s so dumb - because you are so in love with him

as you guys go into senior year together, hendery becomes your biggest cheerleader and you become his

and seriously you two could get through anything togther

one afternoon, as you’re walking back from class and hendery slides his palm into yours

you see johnny and taeyong across the ways - they’re picking some people up or something and taeyong notices you two

he waves

and you both wave back

when you get to your dorm and you curl up in hendery’s arms, you feel him play with the ends of your hair

“I never asked you, why did you tell everyone about my crush on taeyong?”

“when you said you liked him, I thought you meant like in the moment - and so I thought I could get yukhei to set you two up.”

“but didn't you already have feelings for me?”

hendery smiles a little against your hair

“yeah, but nothing mattered more to me than making you happy.”

you clutch the front of his shirt a little - the sentence makes you want to cry

from happiness, but also because of course - you had jumped to conclusions thinking he’d done it to hurt you 

but its hendery, of course he only did it to help

“wanna know something dumb?”

hendery moves back a little so he can look at you better

“hmm?”

“ive always wished we knew each other better back in highschool - maybe then we’d have more time and none of that would have happened. maybe we could have fallen in love all those years ago.”

he scrunches up his nose and you sit up

he follows suit and takes your hands in his

“yeah but - it was worth it. and hey, if we’d been buddies or whatever you might have never left your letter in that locker and ii would have never gotten to throw that rock through the window.”

you roll your eyes

“reall-”

“that was a stupid thing to do, and its the only stupid thing ive done that im so happy i did.”

you let yourself fall forward, right into his arms, they’re warm and they feel so perfect around you

“oh - and shouting out how much i love you in front of your whole class. that's another stupid thing im proud of.”

*this post was commissioned | other college!aus 

[moogiwarah]

🐓

Hi! I want to have comprehensive list of the BL manga/manhwa etc. that I’ve read because I want to spread the love for this genre 💜.  This post is a list of works that I’ve read which is not in this page yet + my comments on each work. I hope some people will find something that they like here ^__^

🐣 All BL recs from me 

manhwa  🐓

💜 Never Understand

Yuri, one of the school's most handsome guys,and Jaerim, one of the school's ugliest, collide!...or don't they? Can't understand what's going on between these two! It's Out of Control! 

shounen-ai, completed, 87 chapters

THE STORY IS SOOOO GOOD. The art also improved by a lot upon reaching the later chapters. Jae-rim is dubbed as “ugly” (he’s a whole cutie tho) and I’m glad to see a non conventional character design for an MC! I highly recommend reading this!!  👌💯

Incorrigible 

A sequel to “Never Understand” which is focused on Cho Ayeon’s story after being free from Soyeon’s control.

yaoi, completed, 8 chapters

This has few chapters so maybe that explains the fast pacing. Nonetheless, it was a nice read, I have a really soft spot for Jae-rim so seeing his r-18 experiences with Yuri really got me ahkdjashdkajshd ;W;

💜 Dirty Vibrations

Best friends Yeong and Nohae thought it was a joke when they downloaded the infamous “cursed” app. It’s said to command the user to perform…sexual acts and punishes those who disobey or delete it. It started with making them kiss. When they disobeyed its order…the punishment was anything but a joke. 

yaoi, ongoing

This one is from Fujoking (author of Youjin)! In all honesty, I love this for its sex scenes. They are so well made, the art, the dialogue, the expressions, and just *chef’s kiss* 👌. When it comes to expressing sexual scenes in BL, my top authors would have to be Fujoking for manhwa and Zaria for manga.

💜 Paid

Executive director Heejae is nicknamed "Chaebol Prince" by the public. But his life is turned upside down when documents linking him to an embezzlement scheme are unexpectedly found by an accounting collegian Taekyung! So he pretends to have a crush on him, but.. Taekyung wants more than just flirting! 

yaoi, ongoing

This is another one from Fujoking! This has a heavier plot as compared to Dirty Vibrations, so you get amazing smut AND an engaging story! 

💜 On or Off

Yiyoung is building a startup with his college friends. They get a chance to present their proposal to SJ Corporation, one of the leading companies in the country. But in the meeting room he sees Kang Daehyung, the extremely handsome company big shot that's so very much his type, and Yiyoung's heart starts to race...! Can pretty-faced Yiyoung win both in love and his career? 

yaoi, ongoing

Okay this! It’s really funny and the pacing is nice and the characters are nice and the art is nice and the perfect mix of romance comedy and slice of life i just HUHDADKAJDHJK it’s rly a feel good read and both MCs are SO ATTRACTIVE.

Penthouse XXX

Siyeon, a contract killer, has declared a boycott on men after being screwed over by his ex. That is, until he moves into a penthouse owned by Taekyung, a rich heir with killer looks.

yaoi, completed, 49 chapters

It has meme worthy illustrations xD. The graphics are nice but I found Taekyung (one of the MCs) to be a little toxic. Also, some parts of the story were not wrapped up/discussed enough imo. But overall, it was a pleasant read.

Home Sweet Home

The last thing Jungyeon expected was for his mom to ask if she could remarry. The new man was kind, considerate, a perfect match for his mother but there’s a catch: he has a younger son. Sunwoo is an introvert. He’s shy and has trouble opening up to others, until he meets Jungyeon and finds himself opening up for the first time. As their parents get closer to marrying, they become close, too close, and that’s when Sunwoo learns Jungyeon is already seeing another man.

yaoi, completed, 57 chapters

I honestly don’t know why this has quite a low rating on mangago because I found it to be a good read! It’s like sitting through a romance-drama movie. I liked the ending and the relationship between the main couple.

K’s Secret

Employee Kim Doyoon has been working for 5 years. He has one secret that he can't tell anyone else - the fact that he's a half-vampire born between a human and a vampire.

yaoi, ongoing

The art is so good in the recent chapters ugh. Also the sex scenes are well made. The plot is a little unclear though, and I feel like the relationship of the two MCs are kinda forced and unnatural hahaskdhakjdh. Still reading it tho since it’s ongoing.

💜 I have a Boyfriend

Kang Hyeon Ho, who belongs in the university soccer team goes into a breadth class and encounters the person he went to middle school together with and was his first love, Han Gyeol. 

yaoi, completed, 44 chapters

THIS IS BASICALLY COLLEGE AU ROM COM ADDITIONAL TAG: FIRST LOVE AND IT’S AMAZING. Just a really well rounded story with the right amount of drama to bring out its slice of life  😭💘 Also, this is tagged as yaoi but the sex scenes were few and not that explicit.

💜 Voice of Love

After experiencing a traumatic incident involving a previous lover, Jiho is too afraid to tell his classmate Soohan that he likes him. Thankfully, Soohan can hear otherpeople's thoughts and asks him out first. But, as we all know, love isn't always that easy. Will Jiho and Soohan really get their happily ever after?

shounen-ai, completed, 37 chapters

Just a really cute story about mind reading and high school boys being in love. Ah, youth. This will make you feel good like ,,, awww young love :( <3

Base to Base

The elite Sung Moon High is fields one the country's top 5 high school baseball teams. Kim Soohyun was the ace pitcher of his middle school now started his first year at Moon high baseball team...since his beloved sunbae Choi Woojin(captain/catcher) is there....Kim Soohyun is an cutie puppy with stalker tendency exclusive for his beloved sunbae. 

shounen-ai, completed, 28 chapters

Sports manga/anime always had a little (or lots) of gay, well this one made it officially gay! A cute rom-com bUT I feel like the ending was rushed. I would have loved it if there was more, but nonetheless, a good read! :)

manga  🐓

💜 I Seriously Can’t Believe You  

"I don't think you've realized your true nature yet." That's what Kon tells Iida, the hottest guy at school, wondering how anyone could be so proper. As popular as he is, Iida doesn't seem interested in any of the girls who come after him. Kon and his buddies try to look into the matter by flipping a coin and having Kon approach him with his confession of love, just to see if he's really interested in guys. "I've... never looked at guys like that..." says Iida, falling for Kon's ruse. Kon takes him home, hoping to straighten out the misunderstanding, when Iida suddenly grabs him by the shoulder, and... A story about a mysterious hottie at school and a prince of a certain kind. 

yaoi, completed, 5 chapters

THIS IS FUNNY AND CUTE AND HOT AND SHORT BUT REALLY GOOD JUST READ IT YOU WONT REGRET IT!

💜 Yoru to Asa no Uta 

(Chapter 0) ; (Sequel)

Asaichi can't play any instruments, his voice is average, and he's only in the band for the girls and the sex. Plus, he's homophobic. For some reason, the new bassist is infatuated with him despite the treatment Asaichi gives him.

yaoi, completed, 1 + 8 + 8  = 16 chapters

It’s by Harada (author of ‘Yatamomo’ and ‘Color Recipe’) so expect dark themes. Trigger warning for rape. I suggest you skip the rape if you can’t handle it because this manga is so good. Its art and story (much like Harada’s other works) will really suck you in. This left a deep impression on me because the characters felt so alive. I respect Harada so much for that ability.

💜 Eigyou Nika!

Sakisaka, stationed in the second Sales Division, has an unrequited love for Toujou, his directing senpai. He had no intention of confessing his feelings. However, Toujou has been awfully touchy-feely lately… Is there a glimmer of hope? Please don’t let it be a misunderstanding! Which path will these vexing feelings flow down to?

yaoi, completed, 10 chapters

I had fun reading this because it’s so fluffy!! aaaAAAA I love friends to lovers and cuddling and the sweetness that comes from a relationship that is a more than friendship but less than lovers. A lighthearted read <3

💜 Mou Ichido, Nando Demo

On his way home from picking up a rings for himself and his lover, Fuji Takahiro is hit by a car. His resulting amnesia degrades his live-in lover Kotou Tarou to a mere flatmate, and a series of misunderstandings threatens to tear the couple apart. Tossed around by desperation and confusion, can Tarou and Takahiro rebuild their once blissful relationship? 

yaoi, completed, 11 chapters

This is like watching a really good mature drama. The characters feel real and the situations presented in the manga were also something one can easily imagine themselves being put into. A short and good read.

💜Ookami-kun wa Kowakunai

The world is filled with animals that can evolve into beastmen. There is a young and earnest wolf who was always mistaken for a showy person because of his flashy looks. The easily mistaken wolf has fallen for an attractive looking rabbit named Usami, who is cautious of carnivores.

yaoi, completed, 6 chapters

I mEAN,,, LOOK AT THEM!!! This is wholesome and very fluffy huhuhuhu no more words needed. A short and cute read! <3

💜Ookami He No Yomeiri

Kaede is a rabbit person chosen to be the 'bride' of a distinguished wolf family. Although he does not wish to marry a wolf, his family pleads for him to go so that they can have enough supplies to last for the next two years. However, how will his new husband act towards a little bunny rabbit stuck in the wolf's den?

yaoi, completed, 8 chapters

The art is good and the story is cute :((( They’re so cute aaaa I’m a sucker for grumpy looking x ray of sunshine it’s just uGH the contrast never gets old.

💜 Encirclement Love

Ryou had a sleepover and saw his friends - Issei and Tadahiro - kissing while they thought he was asleep. He asks them about it and feels betrayed as a childhood friend when they pretend nothing happened. Determined to catch them red-handed, Ryou ends up inside a closet with Issei's little brother - Yuusei -, who has a unexpected reaction to the situation.

yaoi, completed, 6 chapters

It’s basically four high school boys being horny. All four of them are friends and I find their dynamics really funny. Also, they’re all hOT 🥵 I had lots of fun reading this!

Mother’s Spirit

University employee Ryouichirou is ordered by the Chairman to take in an exchange student. That exchange student, Qaltaqa, is a native from a developing country who can't understand Japanese!! Though he is a warrior of his tribe and a man of great beauty, seeing him afraid of the phone and the TV, and even the toilet, Ryouichirou gets fed up… But while being called "Ryouichirou" in such a clumsy manner, he has a change of heart!?

yaoi, completed, 13 chapters

This is funny and interesting! A short read to boost your mood and get your yaoi fix ;D

Dakaretai Otoko Ichii Ni Odosarete Imasu 

Saijou Takato's 5 year reign as the "Most Huggable No. 1" has been snatched. Stealing his thunder is the newbie actor with a 3-year debut, Azumaya! Towards the stuffy hostile Takato, Azumaya's sincere sparkling smile starts to become effective. Even as Takato sets his alert level on MAX, Azumaya catches Takato in his shameful drunken state and uses it to blackmail him! In exchange for Azumaya's silence, Azumaya states, "Please let me hold you"'?! "Embrace me, who was the Most Huggable No.1? What the heck is he saying!" 

yaoi, ongoing

I remember dropping this because MC was obviously raped, but upon watching the first episode of the anime adaptation, they made the sex consensual (thank God) and the story is not so bad after all. I suggest skipping the first chapter altogether and just start off at episode 1 in the anime, then you can pick it up in the manga to see the explicit scenes xD

That’s it for now! Will continue updating in this tumblr acc. as I continue on reading more BL ehe. Hmu on my twt if u wanna talk about BL and/or anime and manga in general hehe. Love lots~ 💜🐓

[massistocchifontana]

The hunting of men… The dissolution of our past through the recognition of our mistakes

The hunting of men… The dissolution of our past through the recognition of our mistakes

I am a man. I am a man who strives to be better every single day but am haunted by my own personal reflection that I have done wrong in the past. Like every man going through their various stages of growth there are moments when we are completely oblivious to why we act in the manner we do and we can analyse these experiences to the point where there is a psychological explanation for every single facet of our behaviour. I do not believe that this is the problem because like every man or woman there are stages of development and growth that we go through and this is essentially a process to become more conscious and aware and steering towards becoming more self-actualised individuals.

In other words, we do not come out the womb with this experiential knowledge of how we should be. This is down to life and the experiences that we encounter along the way. There is no one blueprint to how men should be and this phase we are in currently is highlighting an interesting shift that more and more men are becoming aware of themselves and the mistakes they have made. 

 Let me rephrase that: Men are becoming more aware of the bad choices they have made!

 The problem with experience is that there is no master reset like a video game. We only have one shot at the experience itself and once we make a particular choice, we have to follow through with the chain reaction that follows. No matter how quickly or delayed we may be in recognising these bad choices, once made they will be imprinted in our minds forever.

 Men have a different relationship with shame and what I mean by this is that we all have encountered shame throughout our lives but the manner in which we bottle it up and hide it away is very unique to us. We almost dissociate from the actual feeling itself and we will continue to find other avenues of achievement to mask the real knowledge that we carry this shame within us. It is only through very deep self-reflection that we realise how we have attached this shame to something enjoyable like sex or masturbation or work and other achievements. We have an uncanny ability to mask this shame.

 Regardless of how many years of therapy I have done for myself and the continual personal development that I embark on daily, there will always be a conscious connection with the shame I feel towards the bad decisions I’ve made in the past. This is not to say that I am a monster or a villain like most men, but the manner in which I have carried myself in the past in relation to anyone or anything still holds an imprint deep in my soul when I compare who I was to who I am today. I believe this is a common feeling for many men, where you will find a common statement heard “can we move past this please”. 

 This is because there is shame there, and we feel it. But unfortunately we do not have a machine that can quantify how much shame we are feeling to visually illustrate to the person in front of us that we are feeling remorse and are deeply pained by the way we have been. 

 Most if not all of us going through this process of development can recognise that with hindsight we have probably behaved badly according to the current blueprint of how men should be and we are quickly labelled with the toxic masculinity title, or the narcissistic brand. I too am culpable of using these titles for men but I do so with knowledge of their history and most importantly the desire within them to change. Not using them in a manner to squash the individuals who are doing the work.

 I truly sit here struggling to write this piece because it feels that there is a 50/50 split at the moment between men. This split is being maintained by very regressed men who do not want to change because their ecosystem they find themselves in wont challenge them enough to make the necessary changes, so why should they.

 There is no immediate gratification in making these changes as a man, especially if it means that we have to change to suite others around us. There is not allure to being more evolved and being more conscious because it is too healthy and not charged enough. There is no draw to making love over fucking like animals where we can appease our ego drive in its fullest. Immersion into our conscious self takes time and patience and perseverance but is not easy.

 So the question is why should we change as men?

 The simple answer is one of respect. The man who does not try to become more within himself so outwardly he can serve more is a man who has no respect for himself and the world he lives in. There is no denying that men want sex all the time but this doesn’t mean that the manner in which we go about getting it isn’t sullied. We need to become more reflective of the kind of man we want to be and make the changes necessary to achieve that self-image. Because we have a choice in most things, the moment we become more conscious in our ability to make changes, this is where our responsibility towards our self and others becomes paramount and we have to honour ourselves in the quest to achieve this.

 We are given a loose blueprint of how to be as men. This blueprint is constantly changing but can be seen to slowly shift towards a better model, but unfortunately still maintains very bad traits. The blueprint that has been bestowed on us may not be a conscious one in its acceptance and its seldom a case where someone has sat us down and explained this is what is expected from us being men. Instead most of our learning is achieved through the collective of men we engage with. It is only within recent years that we can say that men’s groups are becoming more popular and we now have a platform to face up to the varied styles of masculinity and most importantly the shame we harbour. 

 The importance to change, is not about change but growth. This may be a clever term for the same thing, but I truly view this process as one of growth. Growing inwards towards a more connected and authentic self, grounded in the knowledge that everything we do as men can be founded on a principle of love and kindness. The knowledge that we can still be “manly” and love motorcycles and extreme sports and bars and pubs and all the things that stereotypically have been labelled as things men like to do. BUT, it too means that we have a choice in how we relate and show love in our fullness because in essence we as men want to show this love but struggle with “getting it right”.

 The realm of relating and being exposed in our vulnerability is not an easy task for anyone especially men. Unless you’ve been fortunate enough to have these feelings normalised we run risk of not knowing how to navigate the space and in general the masculine mindset is about “getting things right”. This is usually why one of the most common problems in relationships is the man trying to fix the woman’s problem rather than knowing that holding the emotional space will be more effective over the long run in comparison to finding a solution. 

 We run an additional risk here and that is not knowing against who we should model ourselves on because there is such a variety of masculinity available. We have the tendency to model ourselves against men who are high achievers and unfortunately these are the men that will more often than not have a voice and be bold and stereotypically “alpha”.

 We confuse achievement and success with acquisition and forcefulness. We confuse dismissal of the other with knowing how to navigate a debate linguistically and be present in doing so. We confuse our partners emotional turmoil as a task to fix and avoid learning to sit with discomfort. We confuse what society says about emotional expression as a means to express our anger towards someone rather than processing it in a manner that is constructive for you and the relationship you are in. We confuse superficial infatuation with deep love because we are mostly not able to navigate the full range of emotions. Ultimately this list of critique can go on and on, and we can point out all the flaws that men have.

 The one thing we must not do is shut down a man who is really trying to change and be better. Because the harsh reality for many men out there is that we are afraid or have been afraid that our shame is provoked through an altercation or interacting with someone and instead of the actual work we’ve done being the primary focus we are hunted for being men on the backs of other unevolved men and on the backs of our forefathers and the mistakes they have made. 

 Like most atrocities in history, there is a collective reparation that needs to be spoken about and implemented. This doesn’t mean that there should be more segregation between men and women but really a coming together where we can celebrate ones self-actualisation and recognition that we are changing. This is not an easy process for people going through it and especially for the people who have experienced an unevolved man.

 My hope is that the more and more men coming together to explore and understand the range of masculinities that are out there are also understanding that there are other more effective ways of being. More effective and fulfilling processes to challenge our ego and shadow and ultimately get to grips with who we are as men. 

 It is essentially brave for men to embark on this, but it is also incredibly courageous for women to accept and trust this process so that we can evolve forward. 

 Via Con Dios 

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Hey Kitty, what are some things you can hold onto right now as reasons to fight a little longer/harder? I know there was a time when you were in school and probably had hopes and dreams for the future. What were they?

This is beyond hard to think about//answer but I am going to give it a go, thank you Molly. I am sorry for putting this off.

My hopes and dreams when I was in school? gosh. that is going back a bit. I was a bit of a lost soul whilst in education; I absolutely LOVED studying but never really had a set “thing” that I wanted to do. I was one of those people that was quite good/better than average at a number of things but didn’t have “one thing” I excelled at/found passion for (like Andi and computers!!). I don’t know if you have ever done that personality test online (I will find a link) - I came out as INFJ, which is “the advocate” and it pretty much sums me up - I could do a number of things/go down a number of career paths and do quite well at them but I tend to sway towards wanting to help others/solving things so that people do not need to be “saved”. (https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality) 

Okay reading back and I literally went on a life story about my school history, sorry about that!!!! I am not really sure where any of this is going/what it has achieved but yeah....

Anyway, back to school....so in middle school I was extremely sporty, LOVED sport so so much, and at one point thought I wanted to be a PE teacher. However there was always that other part of me, the academic side, that was itching/burning away - I found a real love for studying philosophy and ethics during GCSEs - I found it strange that no one else in my class seemed to be so “switched on” by it, suddenly all these questions were buzzing through my head about life and morals and, well, everything. I loved it. I also found myself in science (not biology) and I was also one of those annoying people that loved maths - SO MUCH. Anyway, during middle school I was ear-marked as someone who could possibly go to Oxbridge, and I think this was something that although it opened up loads of amazing opportunities for me and allowed me to do some really cool things (like going on trips to lectures, staying overnight in an Oxford hall, attending sessions at Winchester college, as well as participating in academic programmes and a Model United Nations day) it was also quite unhelpful. The pressure I felt was IMMENSE and it triggered off my perfectionism beyond belief. I suddenly felt very out of my depth and felt like I constantly HAD to be working harder, doing more (even if no one was saying it directly to me) but it never felt like “enough” because I was never as clever/as good at x as another person. I was always in that top band but never the best....(I think it was around this age, 13/14 when my ED first started making an appearance, and when I struggled quite a lot with anxiety and depression - there was also a lot of other things going on at home/in personal life but i wont go into that...). Come A levels and I was so conflicted on what to do...I could have gone down so many paths, initially I thought I would go down the sport route with possibly psychology but I felt like I was letting others down by doing so...I didnt want to narrow my studies so much (we had to cut to 4, and they had to fit into the timetable as well, which was beyond annoying as I stayed at my school in a very small 6th form). Suddenly the pressure really ramped up to another gear in A levels; I was tipped as the top candidate for head girl very early on and the 6th form targeted me and a boy as THE two people who WOULD go to Oxbridge...we were pushed beyond belief and told we were going to make “the school proud” bla bla bla....anyway, this is when anorexia really digged in DEEP. I was studying Maths, Chemistry, Philosophy/Ethics and Physics - back then we did AS exams in the January of our first year of AS (which they no longer do) as well as the summer so there was constant pressure - Anyway, because I was being told I had to apply for Oxbridge, I completely lost touch with what I wanted to do/where I was going/who I was doing it for..and Instead of trying to find a course I wanted to do, I tried to find one that I could “fit” into, Which ended up being Economics and Management (really kitty? REALLY?!). I was studying very hard and trying to keep up all my extra curricular activities at the same time (playing two musical instruments, swimming, netball, copious other sports, Duke of Edinburgh, volunteer swimming coaching etc) and man I just SANK. I also felt a lot of pressure from my parents (which wasnt there) to make them proud/do what they were good at (I craved a relationship with my parents as I felt like we didnt have one) as well as growing up in the shadow of Andi who was beyond BRILLIANT with computers/was flying in that world.

Okay wow, trying to get back on track here. erm as for what makes ME happy? what I want to do? I genuinely don’t know anymore. I have well and truly lost myself in every single way possible. I have lost touch with reality/normality. When I try to think about it it gets quite/very overwhelming....

I think I have a passion for helping others; and I love being around animals, as well as being ACTIVE (I miss sports so much), being in nature as well as travelling....I love to study, like love it, but I find all these courses at Unis can be incredibly narrow and thus I don’t really feel like any of them really fit me? idk. Part of me wonders about a degree apprenticeship but I dont know what in and all the ones I see are in tech/business. I need something which stimulates me; I can’t just sit at a desk. Oh and then throw in that I am quite creative/enjoy doing crafts and reading...my mind gets boggled and now I have no idea which way is up/down when thinking about what “I” want or could see myself doing. 

MAN. I think I have gone off track quite a bit here....Maybe this is a bit too much for now. Maybe it is time for me to revisit some CLOSER and SMALLER goals and reasons to commit to change. Right now the bigger picture is far too overwhelming and hard to think about. I need to come back down to earth (if that makes sense?) as this all feels quite fairytale-esque/like a completely different person’s life that I am retelling. 

Maybe I need to focus on the smaller things. Things like getting my concentration back to be able to read and write and do my crafts again. To have enough energy to get out and spend a day with people. I think I might start with that list first xx

[quackmyback]

Heads or Tails : chapter one

Will Byers x Fem!OC

Hi friends, I don't think anyone actually read chapter zero, besides myself ofc, so I decided to post Chapter One today like I said I would :)

MADMAX AND THAT ASS

Mason pulled herself from a restless sleep, blinking away the gunk layered across her pupils and trying to swat away the sun streaming through the window. Slowly, she sat up and messed with the knots in her hair and she watched Max peacefully snore with her blanket half on her and half on the floor.

"Max," Mason called to her sister in hopes of waking her from her dreams. "Max. Dude!" Mason threw a stuffed animal -- a small, kind of deflated elephant her dad had got her years ago -- and nailed Max right in the nose.

"What the hell, Mase?"

"Get up, we have a one-way ticket to hell in about fifteen minutes." Mason threw her blankets off her legs and headed over to her and Max's shared wardrobe -- picking out a simple outfit that she hoped wouldnt get her taunted on her first day at school.

The twins juxtaposed each other:  while Max wore her hair down, Mason tied it up with braids and and excessive use of hair clips, while Max liked baggy jeans and larger hoodies -- Mason preferred oddly patterned skirts with white shirts and denim jackets. Both girls only owned one pair of shoes: Max's were a red pair of converse they had found super cheap at a thrift store while Mason's were a weird off brand of keds that were fully white.

Mason walked out of the room, back to the bathroom, and shouted back to her sister, "and you better hurry your ass up, because I am not biking to school!"

"Whatever, dork!" Max slammed the door to their shared bedroom.

• ○ •

W

hen Billy parked the car, Max and Mason exited. Mason gazed around to see everyone staring at her new step-brothers ass and, while delighted it wasn't at her, her lip curled in disgust. She sped walked to catch up to her sister, who was slowly skating towards the Middle School across the parking lot.

"This is gonna be a total nightmare," Max scoffed glaring at everyone around them who dared to take a glance towards the Mayfield twins.

"Maybe" -- Mason shrugged -- "maybe not."

The girls continued their slow, torturous walk to school -- stopping at the front desk so that Mason could ask for their schedules. Assuming that their classes would be the same, Mason felt misery when she realized she would have to part from Max for art.

Max sighed, "Well, at least you dont have Drama with Mrs. Cockwit."

The girls looked at each other before their faces broke into smiles, Mason examined their schedules side by side once again. "Science," she said. "We should probably hurry and go find-"

"-That wont be a problem, Miss Mayfield." The twins turned suddenly to find a burly man behind them, the principal they assumed. Now, they're own personal tour guide. "I will be leading you to your first class, please the bell will ring shortly, so follow me."

They did, reluctantly, follow him to a wooden door where they could faintly hear the teacher teaching his wisdom to a class full of kid more likely than not to drop out of three years. They walked in, quickly as to avoid as much attention as possible. Though when Mason had looked up when passing the teachers desk, she realized that wasn't going to be easy.

"Ah, these must be our new students!" Mason's attention snapped to the teacher, she had realized on her schedule his name was Mr.Clarke.

"Indeed it is," the principal who had herded the two into the classroom confirmed,"All yours."

Mason rushed to follow Max to the back, yet they were stopped about as fast as Max could rolled her eyes.

"All right, hold up." Mr. Clark held put his hand to stop the two and smiled. "You dont get away that easy."

Mason barely muttered under her breath, not even enough for it to really reach her own ears. "One could hope."

Mr. Clark continued his introduction, as if the two girls weren't capable of saying their own names. Mason was more than capable of having a panic attack discretely, surely she could say her name to a classroom full of people. Wait a minute.

"Come on up, dont be shy. Dustin, drum roll." A kid in the front, who wore a hat and a dinosaur hoodie, closed his notebook and drummed his fingers against it. "Class," Mr. Clark began," please welcome, all the way from sunny California, the latest passengers to join us on our curiosity voyage, Mason and Maxine."

Mason swallowed and shuffled awkwardly, "Uh, I'm actually Mason and that's-"

"Max. Not Maxine," Max interrupted her sister, eager to sit down and hide away from the vulturous stares of the class.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. Um, all aboard, Max and Mason."

The twins hurried past him, finding empty seats in the near back of the class -- Mason scoring one near the window. She pulled her notebook from her backpack and pulled one of her many colorful pens from the side pockets -- the only happiness she ever was given was from those pens.

She sat there for a moment, staring at the blank page in front of her and barely hearing Mr. Clarke lecturing the class. Not surprisingly, she also barely notices Max's elbow slowly shoving Mason's notebook off the desk.

"Dude" -- Mason barely caught the book before it fell and furrowed her brows -- "what the hell?" She dropped her voice to a whisper in Hope's of not getting in trouble on her first day at school for Max's mischief.

"Those guys upfront keep staring at us," Max whispered through her hair. Mason's eyes flickered up and, lo and behold, the four boys were, indeed, staring at them. Well...

"They arent staring at us," Mason corrected, "they're staring at you. "

"Why?"

"How the hell should I know?" Max turned to face forward, playing with her hands after her sister said that. Mason sighed," Don't worry, I have an idea."

Max nodded, trusting her sister,"Okay."

With that, Mason grabbed the top of her blue pen with her teeth and popped it off. She wrote the first thing that came to mind in big letters.

• ○ •

Mason walked into the art room, it was lined with floor to ceiling windows and every wall was a different color. The room was fairly empty, Mason assumed it was because art was pushed onto students as much as sports or academics.

She sighed and took a seat by the window. Some one pulled the stool beside her out and sat down. Mason looked over to find one of the boys who were staring at her sister. He smiled, a small smile that didn't really reach his eyes. He looked like he had a lot on his mind, way too much to deal with for a small boy his age.

"Hi, uh, I'm Will."

Mason returned his smile, her hands were shaking; she buried them in the pockets of her jacket.

"I don't think I need to introduce myself." Mason looked down at the table, he had his sketchbook out and she didn't -- she anxious that she was supposed to already have it out. Did anyone else have it out? Her eyes danced around the room, avoiding Will's beautiful brown ones the whole time.

He noticed her behaviour, and it barely seemed unusual until he realized her leg was bouncing quickly and her bottom lip was pulled tight between her teeth. When she released it from its death grip, he could see the scabs forming across the sensitive skin.

"You'd be right," he laughed, hoping to calm her down,"Mason, yeah? That's a pretty cool name."

"It's a boy's name." Mason ducked down below the table to retrieve her sketchbook from her back pack.

"It can't be a boy's name." Mason looked at him for the first time since he sat down next to her. He smiled goofily, she saw that it reached his eyes this time. Her heart leaped. "How can it be a boy's name if it's your name?"

Mason's lips parted and her leg stopped bouncing for a second, but her hands had exited her pockets and were bending the bottom corner of her sketchbook. "Well, I think my parents wanted a boy."

"Well, I think my mom wanted a dog." He spun a lock of his hair around his finger, "She got the shedding and, I offered to play fetch with her, but she thought that was weird."

Will felt pride swell in his chest, a smile broke out across his face after a sweet snippet of laughter fell from her lips.

Mason let her laughter die into a small smile and she glanced at him, "Hey, I'll, uh, I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

Will glanced down at his sketch book anxiously, "O-Okay."

They grinned, exchanging books and looking through the other's masterpieces. Each other, carefully calculating their looks at each other to see the other's reaction towards their pride and joy.

• ○ •

"He seemed nice," Mason defended her new friend, despite Max's efforts to deter her away from him.

"No way, he's one of the creeps who stared at us." Max slammed her hand down onto the button and violently yanked the joystick.

"They were staring at you, and maybe they arent creeps maybe they just are curious about the new kids and are too scared to approach."

Max quickly diverted her attention from Dig Dug to Mason and back to Dig Dug before she died. "If that were true, they would've been looking at you too." Mason sighed loudly, laying her head against the side of the machine. "Now, dude, you're really killing my Dig Dug vibe."

"Whatever," Mason shover herself off the machine and turned to her sister, "I'm gonna get a soda, you want anything?"

"Grape and a snickers."

"Got it."

Mason walked away, her hands in her pockets jingling she change, she rubbed her fingers over the rough circles repeatedly to assure herself she had enough to pay for everything.

"What can I get for you," The guy behind the register asked. Mason's eyes dashed across the menu even though she already knew what she wanted.

"Uh, yeah, can I get a strawberry and a grapefruit fanta plus two snickers." She looked down at her pocket to pull out the change. "Oh, uh, please.m," Mason quickly added.

"No problem."

While she waited, Mason leaned against the counter and faced towards where Max was standing at the Dig Dug machine working her magic. Then, her eyes fell on the two boys from their science class."

"Oh, you've got to be shitting me."

As if they sensed her looking at them, the glanced behind them and their eyes widened -- busted.

"Position has been comprised! Fall out!" The curly haired boy shouted, Mason watched as they ran out the door. She sighed, shaking her head and turned towards the counter where the guy had set down her order.

"Thank you." She handed him the money and retreated back to Max. She sighed as she handed max her snickers and held onto the soda for when she finished the game she was playing.

"What's got your panties in a knot?" Max barely glanced at her, taking a giant bite of her snickers.

"Fuckin' creeps." Mason cracked the top of her strawberry soda and took a gulp.

[gcllys]

i think i just saw giselle epstein looking down at their phone in the middle of lecture hall . i wonder if they think that will help them get through their animal behavior major . i’m sure professor baker doesn’t mind , though , especially since gilly can be so + ebullient . then again , she can be a little - boisterous , so maybe prof b will mind after all . what do you think is catching their attention all of a sudden ? surely it can’t be more pictures of cotton candy skies . hey , you know , sometimes they really remind me of ALLOWING YOURSELF TO DROWN IN OTHERS FOR THE SENSATION OF BEING WANTED, UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLES LACED WITH PEACH FLAVORED VODKA, SUN KISSED SKIES MELTING INTO CRAZED OCEANS, MOONLIGHT DANCING IN HAZEL ORBS , but maybe that’s just me . oh well . i hope their second year is treating them well ! 

i’m currently laid out on the beach, so please remember this as you read this ugly formatted introduction asdj !! ’m going to keep this as simple and sweet as i can considering introductions and me are not what some people would call compatible. i’m gi(anna), eighteen, who goes by the she and her pronouns !! i’m absolutely terrible at talking about myself but i’m absolutely excited to be jumping into this group with all of you and your breathtaking muses .. giselle is a combination of a few old muses of mine, and i’m pretty excited to explore her in ways i never got the chance to .. so without farther rambling, if you want to dig deeper into her please keep on reading :

. ◞  ‧  *  𝖎. 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘  .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

full name : giselle ambria epstein 

nickname(s) : gilly, gigi

birthday : november fourth

zodiac : scorpio

moral alignment : chaotic neutral

gender : cisfemale

pronouns : she and her

sexual orientation : heterosexual

romantic orientation : heteroromantic

height : five ft five

language(s) spoken : english, italian, and a decent amount of spanish

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖎. 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘  .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

allowing  yourself  to  drown  in  others  for  the  sensation  of  being  wanted  ,  uncontrollable  giggles  laced  in  peach  flavored  vodka  ,  sun  kissed  skies  melting  into  crazed  oceans,soft melodies singing you to sleep , moonlight dancing in hazel eyes , baby pink acrylic nails tapping softly on hard surfaces , sweet vanilla lingering in the air , fingertips dancing over bare honey dipped skin , pink glossy lips parting into a gentle smile.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖎𝖎. 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

to lurking eyes the brunette tends to catch ditzy vibes and shallow tendencies, her image painting her in an self absorbed , “ you’re even in an sorority, wow shocking ” light. and usually labels such as those, tend to hold some kind of truth. for why would they occur if not? but when it comes to gisella, there’s more that meets the eye. she is ebullient in human, is devoured by an ocean of light heartedness and good intentions . she happens to be an energy that you can not help but want to lose yourself in ? her boisterous chatter in the sea of cheerleaders is an melody to your ears and when the sun disappears her giggles laced with peach vodka lingers in the air , the sound itself intoxicating. she herself is intoxicating .. whether it’s her light in your lungs or her darkness around your throat : the sensation is enchanting. she strives to be good, to be kind, to be caring .. but, she is at that grown age where she’s learning that she will not always be kind nor understanding nor selfless and thats okay. she so badly wants to live the life she was granted, that she tends to push worries and fear aside and do things that make her blood rush . she enjoys the memories that drunk nights give her, charmed by the loud house party music, is in love with living a little recklessly .. she’s show me how fast this car can go and i bet you wont jump kind of soul. she is compassionate, she is someone who will throw herself in crazed oceans to save you , but she also believes in loving herself and being kind to herself . and so, she tries not to drown for everyone . she is fiercely loyal, and loves being with people ? attaches herself on to others almost as if she doesnt make an impact on other lives she’ll slowly fade away. passionate, she feels the world around her on a level that most do not understand . but it tends to make her scattered ? she can ride the highs but sometimes she has to ride the lows too. she is a lover, will give you her all .. will always put the effort and time in. it makes her affectionate, she likes small touches .. hugs and hand holding . not just romantically but platonically too. she is not completely soft though, and kindness is not a weakness . she’s her mothers daughter, and with that comes a sense of stubborn , jealousness , finickiness , and carelessness . she can be hard to understand , hard to please .. she can be hurtful, even selfish sometimes . no matter how hard she tries to push it out.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖛. 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

she comes from a family of six, including her biological father, step mother who has always felt more like her biological mother than anything, her sibling from both of her biological parents, and her two half siblings.

the relationship she carries with each of them are insanely special, and go beyond the cliches of resentment.

she considers her step mother to be her mother, and will call her mom and/or mommy. she was thrown into her care at the age of five, and being that young and having years ahead of her with this women who genuinely and full heartedly cared and loved her it was not hard to fall in love with her back.

her three siblings are the three people in her life that, has really help shaped her and filled with world with light. sometimes, she cannot wrap her head around the fact that for five years she did not know they existed. the though saddens her, mostly because now she cannot picture even her simple days without them.

she does not speak of her birth mother, nor does know where she’s at or what she’s doing. she refuses any contact with her, and mostly tries to pretend the first five years of her life was a blur.

which for the most part it was, she was still insanely young. and while she had the ability to understand the vague concept of the matter: her mother no longer wanting her. she was a young child.

but her experience with the event left wounds on her that are not always vocal, being abandoned at a young age clearly had its impact on her and the way she functioned. especially with personal relationships. she’s at the point in her life where she’s either latching on to people with fear spilling out of her that they might leave, or constantly pushing people away so they never have a chance to leave.

 her mother and father were sweethearts of college, marrying after three years and falling insanely in love. her mother had always been certain she didn’t want kids, and so when she fell pregnant she slowly fell apart? she did not have the heart to rid the baby from her, and so she kept it. she loved her first born, but she was unfit. slowly becoming someone people couldn’t recognize. giselle’s father tried his best, but when his efforts failed he put him and his child first and left. the only problem was, that his ex wife was pregnant. and she decided to keep this baby out of spite, regardless of knowing that she couldn’t care for it.

 her step mother had been adopted by a family in italy when she was a baby, and it’s a place her and the kids constantly go. for, every single summer was spent there. and her parents? without questions, without hesitation accepted giselle like she was their own.

built on a personality of constantly needing people surrounding her, joining a sorority made her feel like home regardless of being away from home. and sigma kappa had seemed to be a perfect match for her : fueling the need to feel like she’s a living breathing human being.

she has always been drawn to animals but when it comes down to narrowing them out she fully wants to work with dogs.. hoping to one day run her own shelter, organization that helps them and of course other animals in need. collecting the abandoned, the neglected, and the unloved and presenting them with what they deserve.

she had four dogs through her childhood, three of whom are still remaining. they are fully the reason she had been triggered to want to work so closely to them. but it definitely cuts deeper than just that.

she is someone who has to constantly apply herself to get the results she wants, and school is the biggest department that shines through. she’s smart, but the effort is necessary. she needs to spend hours with her head in books, needs to take the time to do her assignments, notes. school never came naturally to her.

but sports did, throughout her life she played a handful. soccer, field hockey, volleyball, softball: but the one that truly stuck was cheerleading and it’s something she continues to do. it’s a passion of hers that can never die no matter how much she wants it to sometimes. she loves the sensation it brings her. the fact that it presents her an escape route. she doesn’t mind the hard work, the hours of practicing, the sore muscles and headaches from her hair being pulled too tight. the bumps and the cuts, it’s worth it.

her home is key west florida, and so the years after her mom left her .. she spent a lot of her time near the ocean. of course this is default of living right on it, but in simple terms it kind of brings her a sense of peace?? ocean waves remind her of childhood, her parents, siblings, brings a warm and cozy feeling. when she can’t sleep, she’d find herself sitting in the sand just watching the waves in the moonlight. when she needed inspiration? she’d take in the cotton candy sunsets and let them flow through her.

she has a lot of small talents, but one she recently decided to put more energy in is her singing. she always, for the longest time carried around her song journal. the pages being filled with song lyrics and small doodles .. it was kind of like her diary? and putting words together to make some sort of beautiful poetry not only excited her but kept her grounded. she has now recently started acting bringing these songs together and so far? she’s just having a blast with it. it’s a aspect of her life she’s fully down to explore.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖛. 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

platonic soulmate, girl squad, teammates, friends, best friends, ex best friends, friends with benefits, ex friends with benefits, hate ship, one night stand(s), failed relationship, almost relationship, good influence, bad influence, flirtationship, unlikely friends, family friends, frenemies, childhood friends, slow burn, confidant(s), ex fling, tutors, hardly related cousin, cousins, sibling like friendship, toxic friendship, forbidden romance, love/hate relationship, fake relationship, first loves, ex lover, toxic relationship, on and off relationship. 

[uniformbravo]

a bunch of winter 2020 anime first impressions from Me

Koisuru Asteroid / Asteroid In Love

ok ive already professed my love for this one so i wont get too much into it but basically it’s Extremely cute & im way invested in the two (HOPEFULLY romantic) leads bc their relationship is so sweet so far aaaaaaa

like do u SEE this shit im actually tearing up hgnfhrognfghdjfnjg

this show is Pretty and Cute and Space-Themed and Probably Gay what more do u Need. i love it 10/10

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

so fucken good, this is the one i was most excited for based purely on the art style/animation and god did it deliver, everything is such a treat to look at i fuckin LOVE a setting w/ just as much personality as the characters

and My Goodness the Characters, 3 distinct girls w/ strong designs & personalities that aren’t like super moe/catered to cishet dudes heLLO

we Love a gremlin protag & her chaotic neutral best friend & the “fuck you dad i want to make anime” dreamer they meet........

also HELL YEAH it’s about making anime and they don’t even use that as a gimmicky set piece, the art is a huge part of the story and the detail with which it’s explored in the first ep gives me high hopes for the rest of the show aaaaa so excited to see where this one goes after that BANGER of a first episode

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

switching gears to a less great one lol..... so the thing is this show’s visual aesthetic absolutely fucking slaps in a way that’s so rare to see in a sea of samey anime art styles, like the character designs are unique and everything is so damn colorful, the backgrounds alone blow me away w/ how fuckin Pretty they are??? LOOK at this shit

and just. this show has a lot of stylistic flourishes that make it like 100/100 Certified Good-To-Look-At Anime

which makes every other aspect of the show that much more disappointing lmaoooo like ok i can deal w/ a mediocre story if the visuals slap, which they Do, but also these characters look 10 & we’re doing the whole sexualizing minors thing which fucking BLOWS it’s so uncomfortable to watch........... i feel like it’s one of those things where they’re trying to justify it by being like “o well hanako’s like a thousand year old spirit or whatever so he’s not REALLY underage” but fuckin. fuck off he looks and sounds like a Young Boy yall know what ur doing ugh

it’s not a thing that happens Constantly throughout the episode, really just a few moments here and there, but it is in the op pretty prominently so i feel like it’s gonna be a Thing that keeps happening so idk if i’ll stick w/ this one in particular which is a Damn Shame bc it really is such a gorgeous looking show im mad

number24

ok ngl just from the character designs alone i rly didn’t think this one was gonna make as good a first impression as it did??? i guess the huge ensemble cast of pretty boys reminded me of last season’s actors: songs connection, which uh. was Not great,

so i went into it totally expecting it to be all shitty but it rly surprised me, i found it so intriguing? the characters are actually really endearing so far...... i love how it doesn’t try to shove the entire cast in our faces in the v first ep but instead starts out w/ a small handful and lets us spend a lil time w/ them while only giving assorted Hints and passing impressions of the others, that was nice

also love how very not “generic sports anime” it is right off the bat by dropping us right into the middle of these characters’ story instead of doing the whole “bright-eyed first year joins the team and fights his way to the top” sorta deal- which you’d think would be a confusing and awkwardly paced approach but in this case is handled surprisingly well, especially because it seems like it’s gonna have a lot more elements of a character drama than a straight up classic sports anime (which i am Super here for)

(there is a lot of rugby in the op though so we’ll see how things go, it’s only been 1 ep after all)

the air drop into the characters’ established lives makes introductions a lot more organic as well; since the characters are already familiar with each other we don’t have to sit around watching everyone introduce themselves to the protag, we get to infer their relationships and general opinions of each other through their various interactions & it’s a thousand times more engaging imo!!

i mean we do have this other first year joining as a manager and our protag did deliberately say he learned everyone’s names/info after deciding to become a manager so im sure we’ll be getting those character introductions anyway, but well. we’ll cross that bridge if/when we come to it

also i believe this takes place in college rather than high school?? i couldn’t pay attention to every detail but i definitely got that kind of vibe in which case Hell Yeah another welcome deviation from the norm babeeyyyy (i just checked and it Is college yeehaw)

basically what im saying is im tired of tropes & number24 just no clipped past the first 25 chapters of the sports anime formula and also it’s set in university AND it seems to be character-driven & im living thanks thank u

Pet

ok ill be honest i completely forgot that i watched this one lmaooo (which should give u a hint as to what i thought of it *thinking emoji*)

the art style’s whatever and the animation’s whatever, nothing special there. the show is like, dark?? more stupid than dark idk it feels a little bit “welcome to my twisted mind” but the twist is homophobia w/ a mild side of ableism, and also an entire episode of suspense wondering if im gonna have to watch this black side character die (he doesn’t, so there’s that at least)

honestly i cant even remember what drew me to this show enough to put it in my plan to watch, i guess the premise sounded interesting enough (something about controlling minds and erasing memories?), but mature psychological shows usually aren’t really my scene, especially when they’re executed.... Like That. i did kind of enjoy the twist at the end, mildly, though i feel like it was pretty obvious in hindsight and the only reason i didn’t see it coming is bc i can be astoundingly shortsighted when it comes to things like that (aka im DUMB)

since it took until the very end of the episode to Really introduce our dynamic duo tho, i feel like this ep was more of a prologue than anything and the Real show is gonna begin in ep 2, which is great n all but uh. idk if i care enough to give that a watch tbhhhh. i might just to see what the show has to offer but really truly honestly cant see myself sticking this one thru to the end lmao rip

--

hate to end on a bummer note like that but hey that’s all i got for this post ! i have more shit to watch so i’ll probably end up making like a part 2 w/ more impressions but this is getting long enough that it’s becoming kind of a pain to keep adding more so thats it for now boiyoeiyeoii

[shadowsof-thenight]

The long way home: Chapter four

Story summary: An AU about Steve Rogers that takes place in college. When you were kids, Steve was your best friend. Where he was you were and vice versa. So when your father got a new job on the other side of the country your 11 year old heart broken.

Over the years you had stayed in contact, though. And now, seven years later, you were off to college and unknowingly you’d applied to the college he had started at last year. You agree to meet on your second day and suddenly it all seemed a little less scary. Will you pick up where you’d left off? Or will everything have changed as much as Steve’s appearance.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Reader

Warnings: None. Words: 1732

If you want to get tagged, please let me know. I’d be happy too. This goes for all my stories .

Masterlist           Story Masterlist

Previous Chapter

A/N: I struggled to get this out today. As of last week I am home from work, with a burnout. It has made me feel a little lost and writing was hard. Thankfully most of this chapter was already written. i'm hoping it wont effect my schedule of posting but I can't be sure.

Also, this chapter was supposed to end very differently, but it was over 3000 words long and I still could not end it properly. So instead I broke it in two. Not sure yet if it will effect the amount of chapters in the end, but it probably will. We'll see.

Hope you like this one!

As you sat in the food court and looked at the people rushing in and out around you, you were surprised by the passage of time. Time was going by so incredibly fast. It was already December and you truly felt that you had gotten into a grove here. You were comfortable, at ease. It felt like you belonged here. Classes were gruelling but, you still enjoyed them. And being away from your family was not so hard with the friends you had made. You had never expected to make those quite so easily.  

You smiled when you saw Natasha waving as she walked your way. You moved a seat over towards the window, allowing Bucky, Steve and her to slide into the other seats. Natasha sat across from you, next to Bucky, who moved his chair so he sat as close as he could to her. You chuckled at the sight, while Steve pressed a kiss to the top of your head and sat down in the chair next to you. You gave him a bright smile and said hello to the three of them.

All three of them had just returned from practice in their respective sports and were freshly showered. You on the other hand had been bent over in a chair in the library all afternoon and felt a little crumbled next to them. Then again, in your honest opinion, they tended to look like moviestars most of the time. You on the other hand felt more like the girl next door. Not ugly. Just not....as special. You would think twice to voice those thoughts though. A few weeks ago, you had and Natasha had been quick to berate you. It was sweet, but did nothing to lessen the feelings.

Uni however had been all you had hoped it would be and for some reason it almost felt too good to be true. Your friendship with Steve had picked up more easily than either of you could have guessed. And you had made new friends quite effortlessly. Which, you knew, was mostly thanks to Natasha's outgoing nature. She was funny, sarcastic and incredibly honest. Which most people seemed to like about her. Who could blame them? It was definitely something you loved about her.

You glanced to the side, watching Steve's profile while he spoke animately with Bucky. His hands waving frantically as he tried to explain something, but not finding the words to help him do so.

You smiled as you watched him, while you could hear Bucky's boisterous laughter as he kept repeating that he didn't understand Steve. Something told you that he understood very well what his friend was trying to say. He was just teasing him as Bucky so liked to do. Bucky seemed to thrive on banter, both with his friends and his girlfriend. Which was one of the reasons he and Natasha worked so well together.

After a few moments of gazing, you were quick to direct your eyes to the cup of tea before you. That was when you noticed Natasha looking your way. She winked at you before nodding her head to Steve. She was discreet, though you still checked to see if either of the men had noticed. You shook your head at her and she barked out a laugh. She didn't believe you. You could not really blame her, you didn't really believe it either.

While the men had not noticed the silent exchange, they did notice the laugh that had escaped Nat's mouth and she was quick to divert to attention back to them, telling Bucky to stop teasing Steve. Bucky laughed loudly and Steve's cheeks got a little more colour to them.

Natasha was smile sweetly before turning the conversation towards the match that weekend.

You could not help but smile as you thought back to their first match of the season. It had been a little while ago, but you still remembered the tone in Steve's voice when he had called you. He had been so nervous.

It had been late in the evening when your phone had buzzed. It pulled you from your slumber. If you had not been having trouble falling asleep that night, you might not even have heard it.

As it was, you did. Groggy you had reached for it, expecting a text, but as it kept buzzing you quickly realized it was a call. This had woken you up more and you had quickly turned on a night light, while sitting up straight. Luckily Natasha slept like a log or you would've had to deal with her sleep deprived anger.

With a whisper you answered the call, uncertain who would call at this time of the night. Of course, had you been more awake, you could have checked caller-id.

“Sorry to call this late” Steve’s voice had sounded on the other end, unease clear in his tone.

Confused you assured him that it was fine and inquired why he was calling. When you heard the anxiety laced in his next words, you knew what you had to do. When you had been kids, there was one thing that would always help him. So five minutes later, you were meeting Steve outside of your dorm.

You walked around campus for hours listening to his fears, his worries. How he feared that he would muck it up that next day. That they would lose the game and he would be to blame.

To distract him you had changed the subject. Talked about your combined memories and shared interests. The sun was already peaking over the horizon when you said goodbye to a much calmer Steve.

It had surprised you that he would still get so nervous. If you were to believe Bucky, and you did, Steve had been praised for his game ever since his first year of playing back in high school. It had made you wonder how much of the shy little boy that you had known so long ago, was still inside of him.

You pondered who he had talked to, when things made him anxious, before reuniting with him this year. Though you figured it would have been either Bucky or Sam. They seemed to understand that Steve wanted to do right by everyone and hardly ever teased him about that. Well, only light teasing, which Steve could easily return.

Coming back to the present as Natasha softly kicked you under the table, you apologised for tuning out, claiming fatigue. Natasha barked out another laugh, while Steve fussed over you, wondering if you were working yourself too hard. Assuring him that you would be just fine, Bucky finally repeated the question you had missed before.

“Are you coming to the after party?” he said and you laughed, wondering aloud if they were not being to cocky about their imminent victory.

“Win or lose, a party is a good way to end the day” Bucky shrugged, though he still seemed confident that they would not loose. It was a home game after all. There was the added home court advantage. Or as Steve would most likely see it, added pressure.  

“True,” you agreed, “Of course, I'll be there” you promised.

Steve pulled you into his side and kissed the top of your head once more as he muttered 'good'. You had no time to think about it as Bucky began to explain which dorm house would hold the party, as he would be damned to have it at their off campus apartment.

***

The game had been intense, making the elation over winning that much greater. The dorm was crowded and hot, making you wonder if the entire student body had showed up tonight. Pushing through throngs of dancing bodies, you finally made it to an empty bathroom, walking in before quickly closing the door behind you. You closed your eyes and sighed as you leaned back against the cool door.

“I thought I'd locked that” Steve's voice startled you and you opened your eyes to see him leaning on the sink with a beer. He smiled and you relaxed instantly.

“Pretty sure it's faulty” you said, twisting the lock a few times, hearing no click.

Steve shrugged and stood straight, looking you over. You could feel your stomach twisting under his gaze and your cheeks got heated. How could he have this effect on you, without really doing much of anything?

“Thanks for being there today” Steve said as he stepped closer and took your hand in his.

Willing your heart to slow down, you smiled  as you looked up at his face again. His blue eyes were bright and alert, his smile kind as always. Squeezing his hand you leaned into his side, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Always” you promised and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“Now, tell me, why is the man of the match hiding away?” you asked him a few blissful moments later.

“Needed a moment of peace and quiet” Steve shrugged and you squeezed him a little closer, wanting to comfort him.

“And then I came barging into it” you looked up at him to assess his mood. Did it bother him? You'd leave in an instance if he needed you too.

“I never need you to stay away” Steve chuckled and you smiled.

He bent down to kiss your cheek and opened his mouth to say something when the door burst open and two very drunken strangers fell into the bathroom. They hardly even noticed you and kept kissing and pulling at their clothes. Swallowing his words Steve was quick to guide you to the door and close it behind the two of you. That's when you both burst out laughing and walked away to find your friends.

Two hours later, with the party in full swing you were taken over by yawning. It was nearing midnight and you really wanted to get into bed. It took you another hour to finally excuse yourself and leave. Natasha had decided to join you, while the celebrating men remained behind.

By the time you were in bed, sleep took over quickly. You were ready to leave the long day behind. If only you had known that it would last a little longer still.

Tags: @musicfreak180

[guild-guardian]

Spoiler Free review of “All or Nothing”

After a cut because long post, many words, skritt math. 

The Story (No details)

Overall it's probably one of the best executed episodes worth of story that they’ve released in the last couple of Seasons. 

The Final Battle is more akin to the kind of scale you see in the Zorah Magdaros battle in Monster Hunter World than you’d expect to find in GW2, and that was a huge improvement compared to previous Elder Dragon battles. Having an active role in the battle, along with the NPCs not just “swinging their sword Oh look they swung it again” at trash mobs, and actually being useful- firing siege weapons, fighting mobs, picking you up if you get downed

So many call backs to minor named NPCs- some personal early personal story, and others from pact/priory/vigil etc It lead to a feeling of being surrounded by familiar faces as you lead the charge.  The short piece after the battle was also a well designed experience- the lack of UI and the “damage” lines that you felt when Balthazar killed you in PoF, further push the “oh fuck we’re pretty badly wounded”, along with the forced walk/limp and fall to our knees when we try to hop down along the uneven floor. The main character’s animation here was excellent and slow pace allowed Anet to sculpt a tightly designed experience that is as shocking as it is memorable. I won’t forget that last visual.

Brandon Bales and Debi Derryberry probably did the best voice work in this episode (imo- I haven't played it through on a non-sylvari male). It was extremely immersive and I totally bought what was happening as they expressed it.  I appreciated that the Zephyrites’ song/choir got further development, and how its relevant to the story just made it a really nice touch overall. 

I did think it felt very short- only 3 instances. It may be that they pushed the pacing to emphasise the commander rushing headlong and gambling dangerously on the first ideas that come to them, and they do love a cliffhanger at the end.  It ends on a flat note though, you can’t even interact with story NPCs after you finish it- nothing in the shiverpeaks map changes, no dialogue no “I’m just checking in” updates, nothing.  Final Note: WHERE ARE KASMEER AND MARJORY 

The Map

Huge! Ruins! Subterranean structures! Exploring! Absolutely nailed the Guild Wars 1 Shiverpeak atmosphere.but uh...not much to do past that. 

The Thunderhead Keep meta is fun- I love defense events that allow us to set traps, build barricades and ballistae. The Boss is TOO BRIGHT. It is impossible to see even with effects turned down and post processing off. Anet needs to reassess their priorities with visual telegraphing because right now you can’t see a thing, never mind reacting to the thing. 

Minor Quibble. UH WHERE DID THAT CLIFF AND PIT COME FROM? I’m pretty sure that the mountains just...continued north of the keep in GW1, and a little further north you’d come to the Mursaat teleporter to Hell’s Precipice. 

The dredge meta is...hard to get people to defend the 2nd and 3rd drills- I’ve yet to be successful on this one. 

The delay between meta active times feels a bit long, and perhaps its just the layout of this one, but there isn’t much notification if North or south meta is happening/how long until X etc. 

I don’t like that Map Completion can’t be soloed- Both metas are required. Unless you find a friendly mesmer or buy the Light of Deldrimor from the TP. 

Past the Metas, I’ve seen maybe 5 or 6 events tops on this huge environment. That is pretty woeful. I get that this was probably a high budget episode with two cutscenes, unique character animations and PvE environments built to scale with the GW1 counterparts (why did dwarves build so big anyway?), but the overall quiet map is a bit of a let down- considering the variety of content available in Jahai.

I adore the skritt/priory interactions, and an above ground village of Dredge being shown in in a positive light. Even if literally every member of the survivors has had to kill their friends and family with their own hands. 

The Mastery 

Heavily Situational and will take some getting used to. It doesn’t have that immediate “Good Feel” as mounting your griffon midair or while gliding. Being “animation locked” for most of the launch prevents you from gliding or re-mounting, so you just plummet for the most part and lose out on any air you might have hoped to gain from using it. 

At least we can be thankful it wasn’t required to complete the story or meta.

The Fractal

Dreams: Crushed Hopes: Sundered Orr: Ignored.  Instead of picking an interesting pirate/corsair character that could use a bit of story development, they go with the boisterous ghost from the Lion’s Arch Jumping Puzzle. 

This fractal is short (at T1- it’ll likely have more complexity as you go up) and very sparse on story. The music is good, and the environment is good. Dessa continues to be the shining star of most fractals with her responses to the situations she gets to observe.  Probably won't be the new Challenge mode fractal that people were hoping for, but the fight mechanics are fun and different. 

I’d appreciate it if Anet could relinquish their choke grip they’ve had on talk like a pirate day 2012 that seems to permeate all of their pirate related content- it always feels kind of like even the characters themselves don’t take themselves seriously. There's just something pretty wack with them.  (and I’m not talking about all the landlocked core game pirates just living in lakes barely big enough for their bases) That’s Enough. 

The Legendary

Probably one of the nicest they’ve done in a while. Initially I was put off by it- the official preview of it in the reveal trailer didn’t really show it off very well- not the steps, aura or on-draw effect. However on this video from someone who got it before release, they point out a few things about it that really sell it for me.

I love the scorch mark on draw, with the dubstep twangs the most. A little disappointed that Range LB 5 is unaffected- it could have been very pretty (ie spirit bow active visuals).   It's a very refined weapon that will certainly suit a lot more characters than Kudzu, and I’ll probably make it after I finish Ipos. In like a year.

The Music

Knocks itself out of the park in a home run touchdown or however sports works. The choral piece for Aurene is very beautiful, and I especially appreciate the tarir motif used towards to the end of the track.  Re-used GW1 themes in the map give a very nostalgic feel, and the fractal has a unique Shanty theme, along with what was used for this year’s Festival of the Four winds. 

OVERALL SCORE 7.5/10

The story is moving and immersive, the encounters well designed and well executed, however sparse event placement on the map kinda gets :/ from me. 

Fractals continuing a trend of “we can do anything in the history of tyria- but lets focus on the boring parts” is also disappointing. 

PS. The .5 comes from the Skritt writing and voice acting.  So pure and wholesome. 

[beautyindisguise00]

Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others?

Thursday October 1 2020 @2:53pm

1. When was the last time someone saw you naked? last weekend. my boyfriend

2. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? my grandma. i’d ask her how she felt about how things are going with the big three family now

3. What is the greatest loss you’ve endured? my grandma

4. How would you describe your current mood? calm and relaxed

5. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? crying myself to sleep last night. ugh, im so sensitive sometimes.

6. What was the last thing you lied about? i dont remember. haha

7. Where is your favorite place to have sex? still have my v-card,but the bed. haha

8. What is your earliest memory? getting lost at a sports tournament. haha

9. Do you ever drink or get high alone? i drink by myself, but not to get drunk

10. What type of a drunk are you? very chatty and giddy

11. What song (or a few songs, whatever) means a lot to you and why? there’s a lot.

12. When was the last time you revealed your feelings for someone? Were they accepted or rejected? last weekend to a guy friend, Luke last weekend to my boyfriend a few weeks ago to my best friend, Angela all where of different feelings, but thankfully they were all very accepting

13. What was the reason behind your last visit to the hospital? visiting a friend who was in a motorcycle accident

14. How do you tend to deal with a breakup? i haven’t been through a bad breakup and i hope i wont ever, but if i ever do. i’d probably cry myself to sleep each night and go through the motions through the day. i’d stay off social media until i’m ready to show my ex what he’s lost

15. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? i’ve never done drugs

16. What is something you’ve done that you truly regret? forgetting to log out of my facebook messenger on my mom’s phone....

17. What does it mean to you to be a good person? Do you feel you are a good person? someone’s who’s kind. goes out of their way to help others. and many more. i can be a good person, but im not always

18. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? enjoy life. be kind to others. bring glory to God

19. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? animals should be treated with care and kindness. 

20. When was the last time you were up all night and why? my boyfriend and i were out with his family

21. What is the worst thing you’ve done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? not love myself like i should be. form options about me without getting to know me

22. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? depends on who you are

23. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? we just grew apart. neither one of us put effort in the friendship anymore

24. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? not anymore, i’ve learned and moved on

25. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? i havent been yelled at in a while.

26. Where did your last injury come from? no major injuries lately. the last one i can recall was when one of my kiddos rammed into my toes and my toe nail chipped off

27. What are some kinks or turn-ons you have, if any? uhhhh, neck kisses, dirty talk, nip play. hahahaha

28. What are you like during arguments? stubborn. haha. and i try to be right all the time. 

29. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? they’re a b

30. Where do you like to be kissed? lips and neck

31. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? the first one

32. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? i was tired, sleep deprived, had a migraine from drinking too much. so i got upset at my boyfriend, but at least i knew not to say anything i’d regret to him.  we talked about it the day after and we’re all good now.

33. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? if i wasnt already with my mom, then my mom. i’d tell her i love her and everyone else. i would want to hear her voice before i go.

34. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? i’d tell those who are important to me first and spend as much time as i could with them.at first, i’d be afraid, but i know where i’m going so i’d just miss everyone more than anything

35. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? i dont see the choices

36. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? i can’t see my boss saying that to me, but i’d do my best to save that dog

37. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? well, essentially, they’re the same people so I’d end up getting hurt by both

38. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? my best friend is my boyfriend. haha

39. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? yes. I’d do that for my boyfriend so he’d be able to send one more hour with his grandpa

40. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? yes. haha

41. Does love = sex? not for everyone

42.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? honestly no. I also have financial things to take care of my own. I would very horrible, but i just can’t

43.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? just shared my intimacy life with a guy friend on a long road trip. nothing too bad, but i dont really talk about stuff that personal to me. haha

44. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? that i didn’t love them back or more so the feeling was not mutual 

45. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? my love for people. you can’t tell me to stop loving someone

46. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? my kiddos at work

47. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? honestly, i cant think of anything. not saying this last month was perfect, but it wasnt too bad

48.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? uhh, a wwe fighter. haha jk probably my boyfriend

49. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? yes. i’d always to try save a life

50.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? neither one of my grandmas are here 

51. Are you old fashioned? in some ways

52. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? work. haha

53.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? how it is true love when there’s a broken heart?

54.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? being able to travel anywhere and anytime

55. What was the last thing you ate? a chocolate chip muffin

56. What kind of guys are you usually attracted to? guys who are kind to others, athletic, and hott. haha. honest truth

57. What’s the stupidest thing that’s happened to you that ended a friendship? they drunk way to much and got on my nerves

58. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve had sex at a time? vcard stil here but when my boyfriend comes to visit, we get intimate about 2-3 time a day. hahahaha morning, mid day, and night. lol

59. What reality shows do you watch? not much. sometimes KUWTK here and there 60. Post a video of yourself here: no thank you

61. Where do you work? at a daycare

62. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? no i always check the plates

63. Where do you buy most of your clothes? tj maxx

64. If you were very intelligent and had the capability to have any profession, what would you like to be? teacher. haha

65. What’s your most irrational fear? use to be dolls. ahaha

66. How many radio stations do you listen to? i have about five saved on my car, but i dont really listen to the radio often. i usually just listen to my own music

67. What kind of music do they have? today’s top hits and Christian

68. Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii? hawaii!!

69. Musicals: Yay or Nay? depends some yes some i’d pass

70. What are the next concerts you’ll be going to? i dont have any planned right now

71. What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about? the meeting we had

72. Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others? nah, depends on the person but a quick hug is okay if we’re not that close, but if we are then sure, hug on!

[g0dtier]

I actually just started my first year of art school, do you have any tips for a beginner?

uhhH. depends on what you do? if ur in illustration/animation or graphic design or something im kinda lost, since i only know fine arts

but ok, some things i learned:

do your own thing, but dont make a sport out of ignoring the teachers. one of my classmates last year made it a point to ignore every teacher’s advice bc he got really high grades up until that point and he felt like it was some kind of mind game they were playing? didnt work out so he turned around on that real quick

talk to your teachers. talk to your fellow students. talk ABOUT YOUR WORK to both. its embarrassing but my fucking god you’ll learn so much more quickly if you dont hide your work away out of embarrassment. accept criticism, ASK for criticism, work with your classmates and teachers because they’re the greatest asset you have when it comes to learning.

take your own work seriously. also, learn to look at your work in a non-personal way. obviously you’ll always have certain feelings etc with work you make, but try to distance yourself from that and look at your work in a way you feel someone else would. taking it seriously is also super important. respect your work, see what you like and dislike about it, think about WHY you like/dislike those things, and grow from it.

dont be embarrassed to make work YOU like. to work on ideas YOU like. dont get stuck in a “i have to make this or this kind of work bc its Deep and Artsy and Others are Doing It Maybe” bc thats asinine and you’ll spend months working on stuff you dont even like. i did that. do not

for gods sake TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK. i cannot stress enough how important talking is. in art school you learn to look at art and dissect it and while most people already have an eye for works are interesting, you’ll also learn WHY its an interesting work and goddd its hard. thats why you need to talk talk talk. its super important. im not even kidding its literally the best way to grow in your art. talk about your work, talk about others’ work, talk with your teachers and your fellow students and even people outside of art school. value their opinions. seriously, just walk up to people and ask em what theyre doing and why. its good for both of you.

dont desperately try to have your work show the concept of it. seriously, if you start with an idea and make work around that idea, you’ll mostly end up with work thats just the idea itself, and doesnt stand on its own. its hard to explain, but trust your audience to be able to look at your art and take their time to dissect it, your underlying concept does NOT have to be blatantly obvious right of the bat. it weakens a work.

think about whether you want to show a message to an audience or to make an audience feel something. neither are wrong, at all! but its a different way of working. for example, someone who wants to show a message of feeling trapped to an audience will draw someone in a cramped room, but someone who wants to make an audience feel trapped will create a work thats hard to look at, and is big and loud and overwhelms you. its really hard to explain, but i hope you understand what i mean. a paper drawing of a girl in a trapped room wont make an audience feel trapped. a big af painting thats the size of like 2 people and seems to be coming right at you will make the audience feel trapped, or at least like they wanna get out of there.

with that said, theres a LOT of different ways to make a viewer feel something. the material you work with, the medium you work with, what size you work with etc. dont only use one medium, and try to cross the boundaries of the medium youre using. dont constantly color in between the lines, so to speak. dont let yourself get trapped in the medium you work with, try out new and radical things.

if you have a work you really like, see what else you can do with it! have a painting you love? try projecting something over it! try making 8 more of that painting and hang em up in rows of 3 and see what it does! do not only push the boundaries of what you can do with your medium, push the boundaries of what you can do with a work you like.

kinda wanna stress that im only a 2nd year so my experience isnt that much hah. but this is what i learned from my first year. also wanna stress that it took me a full year to get good at talking about my art so honestly dont feel bad if you dont get it within 2 months ahaha. also, i still have trouble with pretty much all the thing listed, as do my classmates, but theyre still tips i wouldve found useful in my first year.

IF you wanna talk off anon in DMs or something about your work sometime, id love to! im always looking to talk to other artists and learn from each other. i wish you luck at school!

[andystanberg]

~ still not gay ~

Word Count: 2 800

Genre: chat fic, coming out, coming to terms with sexuality, humour

Pairing(s): phan, tiny mention of kickthestickz

Warnings: swearing, so many spelling/grammar mistakes (all on purpose as it’s a chat fic), mentioned homophobia, sexual humour (not a lot)

Summary:

crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat. PJ: what? dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay

A/N Shout out to the (formerly) ~ still not gay ~ chat, thanks for not believing I was straight. (Loosely based off my own unconventional coming out.)

AUGUST 12TH

dan is gay

crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat.

PJ: what?

dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay

PJ: you are.

crabstickzzz: SUCK IT HOWELL

LouiseP: Chris, Dan clearly isn’t ready for blowjobs yet.

dannyboy: IM NOT GAY

PJ: sure.

crabstickzzz: wat about ur crush on phil

AmazingPhil: His what now

dannyboy: i dont have a crush on phil

PJ: sure.

dannyboy: im straight guys cmon

PJ has changed the chat name to dan is in denial and gay.

dannyboy: oh for fucks sake

dannyboy: seriously guys im 100% sure im straight

PJ: sure.

-

AUGUST 15TH

dan is in denial and gay

AmazingPhil: Why is the name always about Dan

LouiseP: This group chat is dedicated to whether or not Dan is gay. And memes.

crabstickzzz: thats all we talk about so theres no point in creating another

PJ: i’ve been in this group chat for two days and it’s true.

dannyboy: why does it matter what i am

crabstickzzz: bc u wont admit ur gay! we r teaching u to love and accept urself 4 who u r!!!

dannyboy: bullshit

AmazingPhil: Maybe we should lay off Dan a bit

dannyboy: thank you filip

AmazingPhil: Never mind please continue

dannyboy changed the chat name to i hate you all

-

Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil.

AmazingPhil: You’re not mad, are you?

dannyboy: no

AmazingPhil: Sure?

dannyboy: its fine. theyre joking and having fun. i just dont get why they care so much about my sexuality though

AmazingPhil: Maybe Crabstickzzz and PJ have a crush on you and Louise is trying to wingman both???

dannyboy: yeah right. can you imagine?

AmazingPhil: You never know

dannyboy: for starters, nobody has, or ever had, or ever will have a crush on me, and secondly, crabstickzzz and pj are dating

AmazingPhil: WHAT? WHEN? HOW?

dannyboy: well i dont know for sure but cmon

AmazingPhil: Oh good. I thought I had missed their big reveal

AmazingPhil: Also don’t be so sure about the crush thing

dannyboy: what? who has a crush on me?!

dannyboy: PHIL LESTER ANSWER ME

-

NOVEMBER 20TH

i hate you all

dannyboy: GUYS OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THE PIC ZAC EFRON JUST POSTED

LouiseP: Who’s Zack?

PJ: oh boy.

dannyboy: HOW DARE YOU! ZAC**** IS THE ACTOR OF TROY BOLTON AKA MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

AmazingPhil: I JUST SAW IT TOO HE LOOKS SO GOOD

dannyboy: I KNOW RIGHT?????

LouiseP: daNIEL

PJ: HAH KNEW IT.

dannyboy: what

crabstickzzz: ur not good at being straight, my friend

dannyboy: oh come on! i may be straight but im not BLIND!

PJ: sure.

dannyboy: phil back me up!

AmazingPhil: Dan has a point.

crabstickzzz: spoil sport

crabstickzzz has kicked AmazingPhil from the chat.

dannyboy: OI

LouiseP: Chris, add him back in.

crabstickzzz: fineeee only cause ur scary

crabstickzzz has added AmazingPhil to the chat.

dannyboy has changed the chat name to welcome back fil.

AmazingPhil has changed the chat name to chris sucks.

dannyboy: i second that

crabstickzzz: wat did i do???

PJ: you’re really asking yourself that?

-

NOVEMBER 25TH

chris sucks

LouiseP: It’s been five days are you all dea?

crabstickzzz: yep im so dea

LouiseP: Oh shut up, like you can talk.

PJ: he never stops talking. don’t encourage him, for my sake.

crabstickzzz: do not

AmazingPhil: Do too

PJ: do too.

dannyboy: do too

crabstickzzz: alright i get it

LouiseP: Do too.

LouiseP: Whoops.

crabstickzzz: watevr

crabstickzzz: so dan have u figured out that ur gay yet

dannyboy: for the last time, im like 99% sure im straight

PJ: that’s 1% less than last time.

crabstickzzz: progress!!!

dannyboy: no its just that if evan peters wanted to fuck me, i wouldnt say no

LouiseP: Hardly anyone would.

dannyboy: see? it doesnt prove anything

AmazingPhil: well…

dannyboy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE

PJ: welcome to the dark side.

AmazingPhil: I just go for whatever side is winning! Can’t blame a man for surviving

dannyboy: thats not the saying

AmazingPhil: It is now!

dannyboy: weve been over this! you cant steal sayings and try to change them

AmazingPhil: I just did

dannyboy: why am i friends with you

crabstickzzz: bc u like him

dannyboy changed the chat name to ~ still not gay ~.

PJ: sure.

LouiseP: You say that a lot.

PJ: it’s because it’s needed. if dan didn’t deny the blatantly obvious, i wouldn’t have to be sarcastic all the time.

crabstickzzz: dont lie to urself

-

NOVEMBER 27TH

~ still not gay~

dannyboy: oh my god oh m y god

AmazingPhil: What?!

dannyboy: fcukin evan peters in ahs

AmazingPhil: ARE YOU WATCHING WITHOUT ME

dannyboy: maybe…

AmazingPhil: BETRAYAL

crabstickzzz: gayyyyyy

dannyboy: fuck off let me have this chris

PJ: yeah chris, fuck off.

dannyboy: thanks pj

PJ: it’s okay. also...

dannyboy: what

PJ: gayyyyy.

AmazingPhil: Okay but Dan has a point

LouiseP: True!

dannyboy: phil and louise are my only friends

crabstickzzz: danyul they both like guys doesnt that say something

dannyboy: psh whatever

-

DECEMBER 25TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: ugh im stuck with sucky wifi away from home :(

AmazingPhil: Aw! Does that mean no skype tonight?

dannyboy: im using my data rn and its so slow, skype would be a nightmare. sorry phil

AmazingPhil: I’ll see you when you get back, then.

dannyboy: yeah :)

crabstickzzz: ugh stop flirting

PJ: yeah, get your own chat.

LouiseP: I think it’s cute.

dannyboy: yeah okay im leaving

PJ: he didn’t deny the flirting part though.

-

JANUARY 1ST

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: new years and no one to kiss wow what a surprise

AmazingPhil: My offer still stands ;)

LouiseP: WAIT, WHAT OFFER?!

crabstickzzz: yeah wat offer

PJ: is no one gonna..?

PJ: okay fine I guess I’ll have to do it.

PJ: gayyyyyyy

AmazingPhil: I wish

dannyboy: keep dreaming philly ;)

LouiseP: I ship it.

PJ: join the club.

dannyboy: can anybody read what the title of this chat is

crabstickzzz: we can we just dont care

PJ: the only reason no one has changed it is because of its irony.

-

JANUARY 12TH

Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil

dannyboy: ahH EVAN PETERS

AmazingPhil: Dan are you sure you’re not gay

dannyboy: well i mean i have liked girls before so even if i did like guys i wouldnt be gay

AmazingPhil: Bi?

dannyboy: maybe idk

dannyboy: but anyway EVAN PETERS

-

JANUARY 16TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: this chat is so quiet

AmazingPhil: For the first time in forever

dannyboy: did you literally just reference Frozen

LouiseP: What’s wrong with Frozen?!

AmazingPhil: Yeah Dan what’s wrong with Frozen

PJ: he probably thinks its gay lmao.

crabstickzzz: dans literally the epitome of no homo

dannyboy: wow what a big word you used there chris

dannyboy: do you even know what it means

dannyboy: also i’ll have you know i have proudly never said no homo

AmazingPhil: I’ve tested that ;)

PJ: WOAH WHAT DID PHIL JUST MAKE A DIRTY JOKE?

LouiseP: PHIL, I THOUGHT I RAISED YOU TO BE A GOOD CHILD.

crabstickzzz: DAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM

dannyboy: wouldnt you like to know

crabstickzzz: wht te h fcuk

PJ: … GAYYYYYYY.

LouiseP: I second that.

AmazingPhil: I hope that

dannyboy: that doesnt make sense

PJ: okay, straight boy, he meant ‘fil hopes you’re gay, as in attracted to boys, no “no homo”’.

dannyboy: im not an idiot

crabstickzzz: debateble

dannyboy: debatable* dumbass

-

JANUARY 30TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHIL MY BEST FRIEND

LouiseP: Happy birthday! Wow, January went by quickly.

dannyboy: yeah can you believe that Phil Lester created January and the world was so hyped for his birthday it sped up time

PJ: oh my god, guys, holy shit.

crabstickzzz: what

PJ: DAN DIDN’T TALK ABOUT HOW BIRTHDAYS ARE A STEP CLOSER TO DEATH. AM I ALIVE?

crabstickzzz: hoLY FUCK UR RIGHT

LouiseP: Dan, you feeling okay?

dannyboy: jeez sorry for wishing my friend a happy birthday

AmazingPhil: I thought it was sweet

crabstickzzz: yeah we get it u love each other

PJ: they’re so cute but so gross.

dannyboy: i dont like phil cmon guys

AmazingPhil: I thought we had something :( you even forgot to talk about the inevitability of death for me :((((

PJ: hey, at least he didn’t say he doesn’t like guys or reference the chat name.

-

FEBRUARY 3RD

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: ugh people suck

AmazingPhil: What happened?

dannyboy: nothing

PJ: sure.

LouiseP: You can tell us, Dan.

crabstickzzz: as long as its not blackmail worthy bc in that case dont be so sure

LouiseP: Chris.

crabstickzzz: i was joking, ofc he can tell us

dannyboy: nvm, i said it was nothing

-

Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil

AmazingPhil: Seriously what happened

dannyboy: one of my old friends from uni keeps asking me when im getting a girlfriend or making jokes about my lack of love life every time he sees me and im sick of it

AmazingPhil: You’ve complained about him before and it you never seemed too bothered

dannyboy: yeah well…

AmazingPhil: ?

dannyboy: i know it shouldnt bother me but this time when i tried to ignore all of his questions about getting a girlfriend or whatever he said “you’re gonna turn gay and be alone”

dannyboy: like i know gay isnt an insult but at the same time it bugs me? is that wrong?

AmazingPhil: I don’t think so. Maybe it was just that he said something like that in the first place

dannyboy: maybe… or like some internalised homophobia idk i feel shitty

dannyboy: im just so tired of everyone asking me when im gonna get a relationship

dannyboy: my mum has been making hints at it lately

AmazingPhil: I love your mum but everyone should back off

dannyboy: this is cheesy but you’re the best

AmazingPhil: No problem <3

dannyboy: <3

-

FEBRUARY 4TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: youll all be happy to know that i almost accidentally kissed a guy today

crabstickzzz: o H YM GOD DANYUL WELCOME TO THE GAY SIDE

dannyboy: a l m o s t + a c c i d e n t a l l y

PJ: sure.

dannyboy: i thought you had stopped with the sarcastic sures

PJ: keep dreaming, howell.

crabstickzzz: shut up time for the important qs

crabstickzzz: was it fil

LouiseP: Please for the love of god let it be Phil.

AmazingPhil: Let what be me

dannyboy: they’re freaking out over the almost kiss

AmazingPhil: Oh! Sorry guys, it wasn’t me

crabstickzzz: NOOOOOOOOO

PJ: sure.

LouiseP: Liesssssssssssssss.

dannyboy: it was this cute guy who ive been friends with for a while and we were messing around and whispering in each others ears to waste time during some meeting that was probably important and i turned just as he was whispering something and our lips almost touched

dannyboy: we jumped back just in time

PJ: there was so much gay in that that I can’t even form a coherent reason as to why it was gay.

AmazingPhil: Can you believe that Dan cheated on me :(((((()(09()

crabstickzzz: CUTE GUY? WHISPERING IN EARS? HOWL U R GAY OK

PJ: good news, chris just said my reasons for me.

LouiseP: Who’s the lucky guy?

dannyboy: first of all, weve been over this. i know when someone is cute, guy or girl. second of all, we were whispering creepy stuff like “mayonnaise” to try and freak each other out and third of all, not telling because id know you guys would stalk him

AmazingPhil: I know who it is ;)

PJ: i bet it’s phil.

dannyboy: nope. i said CUTE guy

AmazingPhil: HEY!

dannyboy: kidding. but no, it wasnt phil

-

FEBRUARY 8TH

~ still not gay ~

LouiseP: Alright, for today we put a halt on the usual Dan is gay discourse.

dannyboy: thank you friend

PJ: why? did someone die?

crabstickzzz: BREAKING TRADITION IS NOT ALLWD!!!

LouiseP: Shush, let me talk about a cute guy I saw today.

LouiseP: Anyway how do I ask him out?

AmazingPhil: Wait until Valentines and anonymously get him a rose.

dannyboy: ask him out or let your feelings pile up and watch him inevitably move on because you’re too scared to make a move

PJ: talk to him on the internet until you become best friends and be gay oops i meant straight for each other.

crabstickzzz: love poems via mysterious skype calls no one gets to know the contents of

LouiseP: The last two are unrealistic. Who talks to a stranger on the internet??? Stanger danger!1!!1!

dannyboy: fil i think theyre picking on us

AmazingPhil: Fair enough

dannyboy: YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE

-

FEBRUARY 11TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy: i cant wait to get nothing on valentines

LouiseP: Same.

AmazingPhil: Same

PJ: same.

crabstickzzz: sam

crabstickzzz: samr*

crabstickzzz: SAME****

dannyboy: this chat is so depressing

dannyboy: also learn how to spell

crabstickzzz: np

crabstickzzz: no*

-

FEBRUARY 13TH

~ still not gay ~

dannyboy changed the chat name to ~ not gay, but bi ~

crabstickzzz: I KNEW IR

dannyboy: shush

crabstickzzz: I FCUKIGN KNEWS IT

dannyboy: you saw nothing

crabstickzzz: YOURE BI

dannyboy: i was right about not being gay though

crabstickzzz: BUT I KNEW YOU WERENT STRAIGHT

PJ: WOAH WOAH WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENIGN OH MT FGDPL.

LouiseP: PJ ISN’T USING FULL STOPS!!! HE’S BROKEN!

LouiseP: DAN, YOU’VE BROKEN ALL OF US!!!

dannyboy: I SAID I WAS 99% SURE I WAS STRAIGHT

crabstickzzz: I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG

dannyboy: NO YOU THOUGHT I WAS GAY

dannyboy: WE WERE ALL WRONG

PJ: S T I L L.

AmazingPhil: This is so amusing

LouiseP: WHY ISN’T PHIL JOINING OUR FREAKING OUT?!

dannyboy: … might have came out already yesterday maybe haha dont kill me

PJ: WHAT?

crabstickzzz: FUK U FIL AND DANYUL

LouiseP: AND YOU’RE ONLY TELLING US NOW??????

dannyboy: yeah well coming out to phil was the first time ive ever done it so it was a little emotionally exhausted and i shook so much that i needed to recharge

AmazingPhil: He was so nervous but I’m proud of him

PJ: yeah, same.

LouiseP: I second that!

crabstickzzz: I FUCKING NKEW TOU WERE GAY

AmazingPhil: I thought we had gotten past this bit

dannyboy: chris, read the new name. im still not gay, just extremely bi

crabstickzzz: sry but i cant believe ur finally coming out

LouiseP: If you don’t mind me asking, what made you realise you were bi?

dannyboy: it all started with this one guy in high school who was so fucking hot and i had like a teensy bit of a crush on him and omg he was so pretty and one time i saw him literally leaning against a wall with his hair messed up and i died

dannyboy: i thought it was a one-time thing and i wasnt really sure if it counted considering ive only ever been attracted to girls before that, but recently ive just come to terms with that and the other thing

crabstickzzz: WHICH IS

dannyboy: nnnnnnnothing

PJ: sure.

AmazingPhil: Ha you guys aren’t on best friend level, so of course you don’t know

crabstickzzz: r00d

dannyboy: dont worry he doesnt know either, hes just being a little shit

AmazingPhil: Love you too

LouiseP: Can you imagine how much we would’ve freaked out over Phil’s message in August?

PJ: seasons change and people do too, apparently.

-

FEBRUARY 14TH

~ not gay, but bi ~

dannyboy: [image attached] someone sent me this chocolate rose with a note saying “- Voldemort” i wonder who that could be??!?!?

PJ: yeah, can anyone think of a super pale nerd who likes Harry Potter almost as much as Dan does and knows where he lives??? I’m coming up blank!!!1!!

LouiseP: Awwww, that’s so sweet!

crabstickzzz: barf

AmazingPhil: Thanks Louise I spent 2 whole pounds on it

dannyboy: spending so much for his boyfriend ew sap stop wasting money

PJ: bOYFRIEND?

crabstickzzz: WAIT I THOUGHT U 2 WERE JUST BEING WEIRD AND PLATONIC COUPLEY LIKE U ALWAYS R AND UR TELLING ME UR DATING

AmazingPhil: It turns out that the “other thing” Dan mentioned was him liking me

dannyboy: and also staring at his lips whenever he talks to me and thinkingaboutkissingthemmaybehah

LouiseP: CONGRATS, GUYS!

PJ: this is like my OTP.

crabstickzzz: *teenage girl voice* OH MY GOD MY OTP

dannyboy: lets leave before they start being weird

AmazingPhil: They’re our friends, don’t worry so much

crabstickzzz: so like did your first kiss involve tongue or

AmazingPhil: Yeah, bye.

crabstickzzz: he didnt say no

LouiseP: cHRIS.

dannyboy: if you must know, it involved NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

dannyboy has left the chat.

AmazingPhil has left the chat.

PJ: …there was definitely tongue.

LouiseP: Agreed.

[thesffcorner]

February Wrap Up

Despite being the shortest month of the year, I read 7 books and 10 graphic novels, or 17 things in total. It was also another month where I read a lot of diverse genres: I read 10 contemporaries, 4 of which were thriller/mysteries, and 6 of which were romance; 4 sci-fi, 1 speculative historical romance, 1 fantasy romance and 1 historical fantasy. Instead of doing highest to lowest, since I have so many graphic novels and some are part of the same series, I decided to group them by the date read, so without further ado, let’s get into it.

Fence vol. 1-3 by C S Pacat and Joanna the Mad (3, 4, 3 stars)

I wanted to read this series for a while, and I finally binged it this February. Fence follows Nicholas, a young fencer with a complicated past and poor background who comes to Kings Row, a school with the fourth best fencing programs in the country. There, to his shock he finds Senji, a junior champion with Olympic aspirations; and the two can’t stand each-other.

This series is just a whole lot of fun. It’s written like a Western style sports anime/manga, and Joanna the Mad’s artstyle is very reminiscent of manga, with lots of action line, pretty boys and expressive, large eyes. The first volume is a fine set up of Nicholas’ first confrontation with Senj, and arriving at the school, while the second and third volume deal with the qualifications at the school for who will make the fencing team. As Nick is on an athletic scholarship, he has to qualify or he gets kicked out, but like many of these series go, he has some stiff competition, and develops friendships with said competition.

I really enjoyed the dynamic between all the characters, especially Senji and Nicholas, and if you’re a fan of sports anime, cute queer comics, or painfully slow-burn enemies to lovers stories, check this out.

Check, Please! Year 3 by Ngozi Ukazu (4 stars)

The first thing I read in February was the third volume of Check, Please! This was as cute as the previous 2 volumes, as it follows Bittie’s third year in college. What struck out to me upon rereading this specific year, is that it actually has way more angst and conflict than I remember it having; there’s a lot here about Bittie and Jack coming to terms with not just their long distance relationship, but also coming out and finding acceptance within the confines of a major sports league like the NHL. It also deals a lot with Bittie coming to terms with the hockey team changing as Ransom, Holster and Lardo graduate. Overall, a good continuation of the story.

Deadly Class vol 1-2 by Rick Remender and Wes Craig (3, 2, 2 stars)

Deadly Class is a series that if I had started reading when I was in late high school, early college, I know I would have loved. However now, as an adult, I find it grating, pretentious, and far too extreme for no real reason. The story aspects that I liked the most, I’ve also already seen or read in far better works; it doesn’t help that up to volume 3, there are only 2 characters left that I remotely care about, and one of them just got introduced in that volume.

The series follows a group of kids who go to an elite training school for assassins. We mostly follow Marcus, the son of a Nicaraguan expats, who ends up at the school after he meets Saya and a few of the other students during a stick up. Though the first volume started out promising, volumes 2 and 3 kept getting less and less good, and unless something drastically changes in my life, I can’t see myself continuing on with this series.

Contagion by Erin Bowman (3 stars)

This is a sci-fi book set in the near-distant future, and it follows the crew of Odyssey, a research vessel that is sent to Black Quarry to investigate a distress signal. Once there, the crew realizes that something bad has happened, as they find bodies and a potentially deadly thing haunting them; and the mysterious ‘young boy’ the engineer of Black Quarry warns them about is not making matters any easier.

This was a rather mediocre sci-fi, but I still enjoyed it. As it’s part of a duology I will definitely be finishing the story out, but as is it doesn’t do too much with this well-tread premise. Bowman does have a good grasp on action and suspense, but a lot of the character decisions in the novel were akin to ones characters in Blumhouse horrors make, and considering most of them are some form of scientists, that wasn’t an ideal route to take. Still if you enjoy stories about aliens, sentient viruses, isolated space incidents and horror, it’s worth checking out.

Prince Charming by Rachel Hawkins (4 stars)

This is the first book in a series of contemporary romances, all centering around the fiction crown family of Scotland. In this first novel we follow Daisy, the younger sister of Eli, who gets engaged to Andrew, the Crown Prince of Scotland. After an incident in a parking lot with her ex, Daisy gets blackmailed into spending the summer in Scotland with her sister and fiance, and get acquainted with the royal family; cue shenanigans, romance and lots of sisterly yelling.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book; it was very funny and entertaining, and I haven’t related to a characters quite like I did to Daisy, since Princess Mia Thermopolis. While there are some tropes these stories tend to have, Hawkins manages to avoid a lot of the cliches, and she actually has some really good commentary on the economy of the royal family, the outdated and outright sexist traditions, the close-mindedness, and the prejudice that both sides are steeped in at the start. I found the romance very cute, the shenanigans were funny and entertaining, and I will definitely be reading the sequel.

Heart of Gold Part 1 by Eli and Viv (4 stars)

This is an webcomic that I stumbled onto by complete accident, but it blew me away. It follows Ionel, a concert pianist who is slowly losing his sight, and Kasper a priest with the power to heal people. Ionel moves to the small town and starts attending mass, in hopes that Kasper will heal him, but every time it gets close to, or his turn, Kasper refuses to help him. Through his attendance, the two become close, with Kasper seeming to have a crisis of faith, all while people from the town start dying; and they might be connected to Kasper.

This comic drew me in almost immediately. The art is absolutely beautiful, and it’s hard to believe that this is a free web comic. The story too is very mature and interesting; it deals a lot with religion, faith, and sacrifice, and the slow build of Isonel and Kaspar’s relationship feels very natural. I can’t wait for Act 2, and I’m really hoping the answers to what is happening in the town deliver on the build up we’ve gotten so far.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson (3 stars)

I heard about this book a lot when it came out, and I decided to check it out, since it’s a mystery following a girl who wants to become an FBI agent, coming to Ellingham Academy, a Montessori type private school, to solve an old cold case; that of the founder, Albert Ellingham’s daughter’s kidnapping.

I won’t lie; this book did not live up to the hype for me, though it was entertaining. I have a much longer and more detailed review of why, but it mostly boiled down to a few things. First, I didn’t like that it ends of a cliffhanger, and we get no answers; this is a bit odd for a mystery, especially a series which has more than two books. Second, I thought the way the past and present mystery connected wasn’t very well done, and I kept losing interest in the past, because of the way the book was written. And finally, I found some of the writing dry and lacking in proper atmosphere.

However, I still enjoyed the story, and the main character of Steve, and I will probably read the sequel, since I still want to know what happens.

S.T.A.G.S. by M A Bennet (3 stars)

S.T.A.G.S. is a British thriller, set in Saint Aidan the Great’s School or STAGS, a private boarding school with a long tradition. When new student Greer gets invited to a weekend of huntin, shootin, fishin at the estate of the leader of the most popular clique in the school, Henry, she accepts, not knowing what waits for her; and what does is a nightmare that might turn deadly, where the hunting, shooting, and fishing, might be a little too real and dangerous.  

I really enjoyed this thriller; I thought it was entertaining, fast paced and had a plot that kept me invested to the end. I also weirdly enjoyed the subtle romance between two of the characters, which isn’t often the case.

However, this book isn’t without it’s problems. The ending is a bit predictable, and having seen the Riot Club, I knew what I was getting into, in terms of what the weekend actually entailed. I also found that the book lacked a lot of tension, because we found out early on who lives through it. However, it was still enjoyable, and if you like these types of thrillers set in boarding schools or private estates, I think you will enjoy this one.

Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson (4 stars)

Like Prince Charming before, I was genuinely surprised at how much I ended up enjoying this book, because when I started it, I was really caught off guard by the humor. However, once I got used to it, this became one of the funniest things I read this month.

Undead Girl Gang is a horror/comedy that follows Mila, a Mexican-American teenager who practices Wicca. After her best friend Riley supposedly commits suicide, just a week after a double suicide of two of her other classmates, Mila decides to perform a spell and bring Riley back; but instead she brings all three of the girls back. The problem? They can’t stand each-other, and if they don’t want to be walking zombies, they need to stay within a 100 steps of Mila.

This book was hilarious and very dark. I really enjoyed all the relationships between the girls, and I found the look at grief very well done and moving. The ending was climactic, and the conclusions Mila comes to worked well for me; if you enjoyed the Craft, Mean Girls or Heathers, check this out, you will probably like it.

Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi (5 stars)

This was by far my favorite thing I read this month. I struggled writing a review for it, because I just didn’t know how to talk about it without just relegating to spoilers and gushing about the characters and the puzzles. It’s a book that follows a group of thieves, who steal magical artifacts, each with their own motivations and goals. When they steal a magical Chinese compass, the discover that it leads them to a Horus Eye; an artifact so powerful it can show them the way to the fabled Fragment of Babel.

It’s the Mummy, mixed with National Treasure, mixed with Ocean’s 11. It’s fun heist story, set during the Exposition Universelle, and if you are like me at all and like any of these things, you will love this book.

Sleepless vol. 1 by Sarah Vaughan (4 stars)

This was probably my favorite of the graphic novels I read; it’s a fantasy that follows Poppy, the illegitimate daughter of a King, and a famous star reader. When her father the King dies, Poppy is forced to navigate court life, as his brother takes the throne, but things become increasingly hard as several assassination attempts are made, and her Sleepless protector Cyrenic starts drifting.

There’s just something about this series that ticks all my boxes. The art is absolutely gorgeous, the story is interesting and a bit different from the usual fantasy I read, and the Sleepless vow is a very unique type of magic. To top it off, I really like the two leads, Poppy and Cyrenic and I’m curious to see what turn the story will take after the ending we get in issue 6.

Motor Crush vol. 1 by Brenden Fletcher (3 stars)

I’ve been meaning to start this series for a while, and I finally did in February, and man was it a great time to do this, fresh after seeing Battle Angel Alita.

This follows Domino, a bike racer, who is trying to make it big and qualify for the world circuit. However, to survive she needs Crash, an illegal substance that is used to fuel the bikes in this universe, but she needs to inhale it. Through the first volume we find out a bit about her mysterious past, her ex-girlfriend Lola, and a man who seems to either want to help her or kill her; all while she races to win the qualifications and the Crash.

This series was a fun, fast paced ride, but it’s not without its problems. The art is beautiful, but the story needs some more polishing; there’s too many plot threads and not enough time to develop them. I can’t imagine how things will resolve in the next volume after that climax, but I will definitely be continuing it; the world was gripping enough to have me enjoy it, and Domino was a character I definitely rooted for.

Umbrella Academy vol. 1 by Gerard Way (3 stars)

Since the show is all anyone talks about, I decided to finally start this series and boy is it cooky. We follow the Umbrella Academy, a group of 7, who were adopted by a crazy millionaire savant Reginald Hargreeves, after being born in a spontaneous event all over the world where 48 mothers gave birth. Hargreeves trains the kids to stop the apocalypse, and now 10 years after his death brings 6 of the 7 back to his house, unaware that the apocalypse is here; and it’s a direct consequence of their reunification.

There is a lot of good and a lot of weird in this series. The characters have glimpses of interesting personalities and the idea of 7 kids being raised from birth to be superheroes by a man who is a British version of Ra’s al Ghul is interesting. But unfortunately the series doesn’t fully explore this, and the ending is really abrupt. The humor is quirky, and sometimes it works, but more often it makes the tone weirdly uneven, as we swing from graphic, albeit cartoon violence to slapstick. I think the show does a much better job with the tone, and while this first volume gets a lot right, it’s by no means perfect.

Sadie by Courtney Summers (4 stars) 

This was by far the hardest book I’ve read in a long time. It’s a mystery that follows Sadie, a girl who disappears after her younger sister is brutally assaulted and murdered; and West McCray, a podcast host who is retracing her steps, trying to find her. It’s a book about grief, assault, pedophilia, violence and the lies we tell ourselves so we don’t have to think about what happens to girls in this world, and it’s dower, dreary and oh so real. It made me feel things I don’t normally do when I read, and if you can stomach the content, I recommend it. If you can, get the audiobook; it’s a full cast and the podcast bits are done like a real podcast, which makes the story feel that much more immersive.   

The Disasters by M K England (5 stars)

I needed something light and fun after the last two things I read in February, and this was the perfect way to end my month. This was my favorite book I read so far, maybe even more than the Gilded Wolves. It’s a sci-fi that follows a group of 4 rejects from Space Academy who have to work together to survive a terrorist attack, and prevent another one from happening. It’s fast paced, incredibly entertaining, and I fell in love with all the characters.

I absolutely cannot wait for whatever else M K England publishes, and I loved this to pieces.  

[patriciarpeterson]

Designer of the Month: Annamarie McHugh

A variety of materials go into the pieces made by Annamarie, including silver and enamel, with the designs in her handmade jewellery collection being inspired mainly by fantasy and faeries. In the following Designer of the Month interview, we spoke to her about her background, what she has learnt from her time as a jeweller and more…

Let us know a bit about yourself, detailing your background, study and training in the jewellery making industry.

My working background is within the corporate sector. However, I’ve been making jewellery as a hobby for many years – beadwork, wire work and simple silver designs, but there is only so many presents you can give to the same people over and over! In 2015 I tried to start my current jewellery business whilst still working full time in order to minimise the risk of a new enterprise. However, the nature of my work and the hours were not conducive to any consistent or sustainable outcomes for my little enterprise. So, in mid-2017 I left my role as Operations Director to finally pursue my passion full-time and Jewellery by Annamarie was born. Not sure whether my subsequent conversion to vegetarianism was an ethical decision or a consequential financial one!

Anyway, as I have been making jewellery for years I am largely self-taught but have augmented this with part-time courses at the Birmingham School of Jewellery and the Midlands Art Centre, concentrating primarily on traditional silversmithing techniques and stone setting.

Tell us about your work – are there any particular materials or techniques that you favour?

This is where I am going to make an effort to be concise as I love learning new skills and having my work evolve with them, and so could go on and on. The challenge is to stick to my business plan and know that there will be new collections to come, with which I can incorporate more and more techniques.

I love reticulating silver and predict that featuring in a future collection.

I love silver and gold – in the form of wire, sheet and metal clay. One thing that excites me is the symbiotic potential of using all three mediums to make something beautiful, detailed and unique.

I also love colour, and have started using vitreous enamel. Whilst my current work is predominantly silver, future collections will incorporate more colour and when I have the money I will hopefully be booking myself onto a course with Ruth Ball.

How would you best describe your design style?

Away with the faeries! Just joking.

I think that style is innate – some more distinctive than others – but this means that whatever you make, it is in your own style.

The type of jewellery I make is mainly whimsical – some of which is detailed and smaller pieces a little more simple.  I make faery houses and doors and little toadstools – some not so little! Tiny little toadstool house charms hanging from mirror finished bangles and earrings in the shape of a rolled newspaper engraved with the words Faery News.

I am currently working on a new collection, Ould Man Oak, which will include oak leaves, a green man, acorns and little green gemstones – a mixture of Peridot and Chrome Diopside. They will be ready for the British Craft Trade Fair at the start of April.

As a jewellery maker, where do you like to get your inspiration from for your pieces?

My inspiration is mainly drawn from nature and my imagination – which is a place of magic and fantasy. I am a prolific reader and, amongst others, one genre constant is that of fantasy…this also feeds my imagination.

That being said, the shape or flow of a piece can be influenced by the curve of a railing which catches my eye or a Christmas bauble – so there is magic to be had everywhere.

Do you have a piece that you have made which you favour or are particularly proud of?

I oscillate between love of every piece I do and hyper-criticism which renders none of them any good. I’m sure other designer makers go through similar emotions…or at least I hope I’m not the only one!

If I have to choose one, it is probably the first faerie house on which I used a little vitreous enamel – I think the colour made it ‘pop’ a little. The house has a leaf roof and the use of transparent enamel allows the natural leaf vein structure to remain visible through the colour. The little toadstool on the doorstep has a door and window to house a tiny family of sprites and is highlighted with opaque red enamel. The house (pendant) hangs low on a substantial chain which avoids being chunky with the use of various chain types, little beads of Peridot and chalcedony and small silver pieces; flowers, a dragonfly and butterfly.

What is the one item in your jewellery making workshop that you could not live without?

Hmmm…just 1?

Well, if I can have only one it will have to be my polishing motor – both my Dremel and my stand-alone motor. Oops…did I sneak in 2 there?

There are so many tools that I can’t do without. However, these tools save me so much time when sanding fiddly little areas, in polishing or frosting. I am currently thinking about buying a new pendant motor tool ‘just in case’ because if anything happened to my Dremel, I would be hard pushed waiting for a replacement to arrive.

What upcoming trends do you see being popular soon?

I think CAD is becoming more prevalent and also more acceptable. By that, I mean that it is becoming accepted by designer/hand makers as a way of augmenting some designs, but not taking the place of the bench work that is so loved.

I also think that metal clay, whilst it has been around for over 10 years, is now becoming more popular with jewellers who appreciate the quality of what can be achieved. More makers now see it as another medium rather than a pseudo product.

With regards to what is selling – anything with a nature theme seems to be eternally popular. The latest fashion editorials have predicted that big, statement jewellery will be the pick of 2019, with colourful and quirky jewellery being a hit. I hope so, as this would suit my work…I don’t make many huge statement pieces but I make very few tiny pieces and most of my work is definitely quirky.

What is the most valuable lesson you have learnt from your time in the jewellery making industry?

Plan…plan…plan.

You know that old chestnut…’Fail to plan and you plan to fail.’

There’s a balance to be had between artistic pursuit and business plan outcomes. I can easily be drawn away to try new ideas and techniques – some of which come to fruition and others which…don’t! This is where the balance comes in.

I would happily pursue every appealing design thought that pops into my head and if I see an Andrew Berry YouTube video, I just want to get on with trying out a new technique straight away. I think it’s important to make time for this because it can lead to good things, but it’s a balancing act.  I always ask myself – does it contribute to this year’s business plan? What outcome will be achieved? How will it benefit?

Of course, it may not contribute or add value straight away, but I look at the potential, either immediate or long term, and plan accordingly. Well, that’s the plan! And, I do my best to stick to it.

Do you have any particular advice that you would give to up and coming jewellery designers, or someone interested in getting into jewellery making?

Write down a little reminder of something that puts a smile on your face or a feeling of joy/pride/success in your heart. Keep it near. When times are tough – look at it and keep going.

Listen to the valuable advice of others but only take on board that which fits with your journey and strengthens your plan….it can be easy to lose your way…so when you have your nose to the grindstone, working hard, lift your head regularly to check you’re going in the right direction.

Give it time – it won’t happen overnight, just believe in yourself and your product.

…and finally, time for a bit of fun in our quick-fire round! Tell us your favourite…

…drink – pina colada

…book – Lord of the Rings

…gemstone – Peridot

…sport – swimming

…animal – wolf

For more details on Annamarie’s work, you can visit her website, or feel free to check out her Facebook page, Twitter profile or her Instagram page.

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