#also it could have gone way longer if i was looking at less basic animals but

[braisedhoney]

Quick question cap! For your Stanley and Narrator, what animals do you think would represent them best ^w^?

i've never really thought about it so 'scuse me while i take this chill question waaaaay too seriously (way more than i thought i would.)

uhhh... y'know what, i think narry would be a peacock. might be basic as a metaphor so he could be another kind of showy bird, but i do like the idea that he's all about showmanship and impressions and aesthetics bc he's a perfectionist at heart. he's prideful and loud and wants to make his opinions known, but ultimately he's also deeply insecure abt the idea of people NOT liking him or his game. and peacocks aren't showy for themselves, y'know, but it is in their nature to strive to be impressive. even if it is to their detriment sometimes.

stanley is difficult bc he doesn't really have a personality. totally subjective based on whoever it is that's characterizing him, right? so he could be anything depending on how you think he feels: if he's a mischievous little shit who defies the narrator of his own will bc he thinks it's funny and enjoys the different ways things can end or change, or if he does it out of a desperate desire to reclaim some part of power in his life despite being trapped in what's essentially an endless loop where he either dies or fades to black. does he take it all in stride? is he just a reflection of narry himself...? or of the player who puppeteers him? are he and the player in cahoots or is it another layer of control he doesn't know he doesn't have?

anyway twitter had a thing where stanley was a ferret and i like that a lot as a concept so. ferrets are cool. maybe he's a ferret.

also could be an argument for narrator being a cat. like. he does spend his happiest moments staring at and chasing after the lights in the zending room. also he's a prat but we all love him anyway even though he would totally sweep things off your desk to annoy you.

[ken-katayanagi]

I’ve read your google docs of the katayanagi twins’ fashion. Super interesting stuff and I love it as both a fashion enthusiast and fan of the siblings. Your document really emphasizes the distinction between those two even with the very little info we have on them (kyle’s style could be late 80s japanese pop while ken’s style could be more leaning towards visual kei). Also matches their personalities (ramona mentioned kyle is the hothead of the two, so I guess the pretty and proper bad boy kind of look fits him)

Something about your endnote fascinates me, however. You mentioned something about the twins’ relationship being strained but then strengthened after ramona’s betrayal. Would you implore more on the idea? I’m now invested in it very much…. thank you and have a good day

Thank you!!! I mostly based my looks off this piece of concept art by O’Malley, which makes me think the personalities the twins had in their few anime appearances were just parts that weren’t as well communicated in Vol. 5

(I think that little doddle next to the crossed out “they’re not even Japanese” emphasizes that visual kei comparison you made)

But as for the second bit, I think the twins weren’t exactly on great terms, even before Ramona. A decent part of this has to do with my own personal head cannons surrounding Kyle and how I perceived his and Ramona’s relationship with alcohol, but also with just how different the twins seem to be under the surface. They seem like they would run in almost completely opposite social circles and be invested in similarly opposite things.

And it’s honestly really tied to their teens. Basically, their parents kinda unintentionally set up a dynamic where Kyle felt like Ken got away with everything (piercings, weird clothes, going out to band shows and having a more trusting relationship with their parents) and Ken thought Kyle couldn’t get his act together (partying, showing up back home late, getting in fight with their parents). Neither was true as in reality their parents let a lot of stuff with Ken slide that wouldn’t have otherwise because “well at least he’s not drunk” and Kyle was genuinely going through some serious mental shit but not telling anyone so his actions just looked super random and mean spirited. So by the time they get to college, they haven’t really addressed this weird image they have of the other in their heads.

And it explains how Ramona was even able to two time siblings. They’re not going to the same parties, they’re not really talking at length about their lives (since they never mention enough detail to make the other suspicious), they’re probably not really bothering each other much if they share a dorm. Ramona unconsciously sees and plays this divide, knowing they’re not really together enough for her to get caught.

It also emphasizes for me a very emotional aspect for all three of them. Ramona is hot off a messy break up (Roxie), the breakup that ended her first relationship with a women and also seems to be her first attempt at having something…maybe not serious but genuine (it seemed more important than anything with Matt Todd or Lucas). Shes hardly in the headspace to be in a relationship, and maybe after some nights out, she’s terrified and not sure what to do because whoops she’s in two! And the longer it goes on the less Ramona actually wants to fix it because it’s kinda fun in a messed up way, and the twins aren’t bad company…until it all comes crashing down and she’s out the door before they even notice she’s gone. I think Ramona’s relationship with the twins is her at her actual lowest, with her being most at fault for what happened and the least justified in bolting afterwards. This low point is exactly when Gideon finds her, unsure and upset at herself, in exactly the position to manipulate her. (Sorry if this came off a little Ramona bash-y, I love Ramona but this girl makes bad choices)

As for the twins, I think the really strong emotional beat here is the idea of how avoidable it would’ve felt for them. How if they had just been able to set aside their own bullshit, if they had even bothered to connect at all, they could’ve figured it out in a few days, rather than in a few weeks or a few months. Ramona’s betrayal is catalyst for them to sit down and just…talk out a lot of their own personal crap.

But yeah that’s why. Sorry this got super massively long, but I hope you liked it and it wasn’t too ramblely lol.

[wasteofbandagesxx]

I trusted you

{Nikolai x reader}

Content: abuse, toxic, murder, toxic love, unhealthy relationship

There were no genuine feelings when it came to the relationship. It was nothing. There wasn't love or affection, just two people there are colleagues that work with Fyodor himself. There was no love anymore like there used to be. Nikolai honestly despised you because of how "soft" you gotten and how "boring" you've become. He was only in for the thrill, and you were lacking all the qualities to his ideal lover. Normally, he'd kill if he had an obsession with someone, but he also murders them when he gets tired of that person. You were no longer a thrill for his entertainment.

Who knew your time would end up so soon?

"Dove, come here real quick. Dostoevsky gave us a new assignment that involves blowing up a building and killing more government officials. Isn't it exciting?"

You walked over to him, the tapping of your feet was heard on the marble floor as you make your way over to white haired clown. It was too quiet, the silence was irritating Nikolai while you were unbothered. You peeked at the paper to see a bunch of missions that were listed on it. Nothing too chaotic since Nikolai will be doing all the work. "It's alright I guess. Though I hate getting my hands dirty so I'll leave the rest to you." Your boring reply left Nikolai in disgust. He missed the times that you would engage violence with him, oh how much he's missed the good old days. Ever since you've gotten closer to Fyodor and did some other stuff it changed your personality completely. He couldn't stand it, you were not his Dove, you were just an old doll ready to be thrown away.

"Oh Dove, what happened to you?..." He whispered under his breath.

The whole reason why you've changed is because Fyodor was always using you. You were the demons most useful pawn and he intended on taking advantage of that. The tasks would be too extreme and while Nikolai was gone there would always be constant arguing and abuse towards another. You would receive slap after slap, a kick from an underling, and poisoned to make your body stiff in suspended animation before getting locked up. In the beginning, Nikolai would care about how you were being treated but then he randomly didn't care. He soon realized you were weak.

You have been sick for some time and your mental health isn't the best due to family issues and your job as a terrorist. You just weren't loving how your life style has become and thought it was a good idea to turn your life around. You couldn't leave or else you would die, so you just did simple basic tasks instead. Back then you would always go on a murder spree with your lover. As you got sick, you realized there wasn't much things you could do anymore. You highly doubted that you were going to live for a long time, you were almost as weak as Fyodor but you tried to hide it.

Nikolai soon found out about your sickness and couldn't help but insult you of how weak you are now. You were hoping he would understand, but he could care less. You still put faith in Nikolai to understand your pain and condition, but it seemed you trusted him too much.

"Dove, your really pissing me off. You have been for a while." Nikolai said coldly, his eyes burning into yours. A small shiver ran down your spine but you quickly avoided his icy stare. "It's not my fault things turned out this way. Enough talking and let's get going, I have plans after this." "Oh, do you now?"

The Jester rolled eyes and puts the paper down. "Yes, now let's go." You make your way over to the door but as you turned the handle, the door wouldn't open.

Something was wrong.

"Oh Dove, if only you could've stayed the same."

Slit!!

You felt pain all of a sudden. Slowly looking down, only to see a shiny silver object with Crimson blood pouring out of your body like a fountain. You couldn't believe your eyes, you were stabbed. The knife twists and turns to make even a bigger mess, more blood was spilling out of you and you couldn't hold back your screams.

"I usually harm those who make me obsessed with them but I was going to make you an exception. Thinking, maybe we could live and be free together. Now I see you as a big joke, I loved you so, but being with you makes me feel even more trapped. I can't have that, your not worth losing my mind over anymore."

The knife was roughly pulled out before a big amount of blood was shot out of your mouth. You fell down on your own, the crimson puddle was spreading rather quickly as it was spilling out of your stomach and your mouth. You were at a loss of words, your vision blurs due to the lack of blood and the tears that were forming in your eyes. Your tried crawling to him with little effort while Nikolai stared down at you with a look full of guilt, but mostly no sympathy. He was conflicted, but his mind was already made up the moment he stabbed you, he couldn't go back. He pushed down the feeling of guilt and smiled at you.

"What did you expect? You should've left me when you had the chance! Don't cry now darling, you'll eventually pass away and won't have to worry or feel anything!"

He giggled to himself as he watches you slowly become lifeless. You didn't want to die here, not now. With little strength you had, you pulled out your that you keep on your belt and shot Nikolai in the stomach, aiming at his vitals.

Nikolai couldn't believe what just happened. He looked down to see four bullet wounds before falling down in front of you, he coughs up blood, all the while you felt like screaming and crying. You could cry, but you didn't have the energy to scream when you were on the verge of death and choking on blood. "I wanted to plan something special for us...I tried to change...I tried going back to the person that I once was....I tried....and I wanted to prove you that today, on our 2nd anniversary..." You choked out, the clown was shocked by your words, it was nothing that he was expecting. He thought the words that would come out of your mouth would be "Fuck you!" Or "I hate you!" but no. It was something that would made him regret his actions.

He laid there conflicted, he completely gave up on everything. He just wished he could've been better and understand what you were going through better instead of being full of himself. He wished he could've been a better lover. He looked at you with tears in his eyes and a small smile, his eyes half lidded as he was about to make his way into the afterlife with you. "I guess I messed up, silly me." He said with a small chuckle. You glared at him and said your last words before your vision blacks out.

"I trusted you."

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Also, apparently this... Something that raises questions...

John Leguizamo apparently confirms a new ICE AGE movie is in the works...

That's merely a kernel of a possible announcement. It could all be moot, but... I do wanna talk about what the future of ICE AGE could be...

I wouldn't put it past Disney to barrel ahead with another ICE AGE movie, despite the fact that they shut down the studio that originated the franchise, Blue Sky Studios.

And suppose a new ICE AGE movie comes out a few years from now, as a 20th Century Studios Animation film WITHOUT any Blue Sky logo or mention, because they no longer exist as a studio... Well, that'll certainly sting, for sure.

Interestingly though, ICE AGE did not begin life at Blue Sky. It was originally going to be a 2D animated film that Don Bluth and Gary Goldman would've been involved with, and it was going to be made at the long-defunct Fox Animation Studios. The studio where Bluth and Goldman made ANASTASIA and TITAN A.E in 1997 and 2000 respectively. The latter feature's flopping put the nail in the Fox Animation Studios coffin by the end of 2000, but before that movie came out, ICE AGE was shifted over to Blue Sky once 20th Century Fox acquired them. So, if we do see an ICE AGE 6, it'll certainly suck remembering what Disney did to Blue Sky, but at the same time I understand that ICE AGE could continue either way with or without the studio where the first movie was made. Sad animation facts-of-life things, you know?

When Disney acquired Blue Sky as part of the Fox package from the Murdochs, it was made clear that Iger and all of them saw potential in future ICE AGE and RIO stuff. RIO's the only other Blue Sky picture to have gotten a sequel. HORTON HEARS A WHO!, EPIC, FERDINAND, etc. didn't. THE PEANUTS MOVIE curiously has a sequel happening at WildBrain, but that's because... It's PEANUTS. I just find it neat that the new PEANUTS movie coming out is using the same style and look of THE PEANUTS MOVIE, so it's basically the sequel to that. Albeit, from another studio. Some of the same crew involved.

That BUCK WILD thing will probably be brought up, but I always saw that as what it is: Some direct-to-video/TV caliber thing like RETURN OF JAFAR. It was first envisioned as a TV series anyways, and Blue Sky had no involvement. Blue Sky's final ICE AGE media was that fun little series SCRAT TALES, that was on Disney+. A fitting send-off to a pioneering studio that did not need to be shut down.

The spirit of Blue Sky, I feel, lives on in Annapurna Animation, who got Blue Sky's NIMONA - which was deep in the works when Disney pulled the plug on Blue Sky - and got it to the finish line. ICE AGE and RIO director Chris Wedge, among other notables, are at Annapurna right now working on some neat-sounding stuff.

But no, Disney likes money, many of the ICE AGE movies are among the highest-grossing animated movies. DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS and CONTINENTAL DRIFT each made over $870m worldwide. COLLISION COURSE saw something of a good-sized dip in 2016 ($408m worldwide, half of what the last two took in), suggesting that maybe the juice was running low... But, ICE AGE is now a 22-year-old movie, soon to be 23 in March 2025... Enough time has supposed, Disney probably could ride the sorta SHREK 5 approach with nostalgic late '90s/early '00s kids who grew up on the ICE AGE movies. Boom, instant big buckeroos.

And who would make it? Well, it'd be a 20th Century Studios release I reckon, with animation services provided by like a DNEG-type studio (they finished NIMONA for Annapurna). I doubt they'd have Disney Animation do it, ditto Pixar.

The only animated 20th Century Studios movies that went to theaters, post-Disney buyout, were pictures that were already in the works prior to that... RON'S GONE WRONG, THE BOB'S BURGERS MOVIE. All waylaid by COVID, no less. What else? Nothing, and nothing on the horizon, either.

With Blue Sky's shutdown in February 2021 also came the kibosh of everything they and 20th Century Fox Animation had lined up. Disney also jettisoned their deal with Locksmith, the studio that did RON'S GONE WRONG (which DNEG also provided animation services for), sooo their future pics are either with Netflix (the upcoming THAT CHRISTMAS) or Warner Bros. (BAD FAIRIES, THE LUNAR CHRONICLES, et al.)

The only post-2019 animated features to come out of 20th Century were Disney+ titles, those DIARY OF A WIMPY KID movies, the BUCK WILD thing, and the animated NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM pic. Since Disney has always had Disney Animation and Pixar, and not only shut down Blue Sky, but also Disneytoon Studios back in mid-2018, it just seems like they're not interested in having a third animation studio. But I can see occasional animated movies coming out of 20th Century Studios every now and then, but only if they're from a well-established franchise.

ICE AGE, obviously, is that. So is RIO. And of course a second SIMPSONS movie is inevitable, probably a FAMILY GUY movie at some point. But that's about it... So, if ICE AGE 6 even happens... I suppose that's how it'll happen.

I find it funny how this all came up... A few days after someone did fanart of the original ICE AGE, with the three friends reuniting with the human baby all grown up... Legacy sequels are a big deal now, sooooo... Uhhhh, maybe that could happen? I don't know lol.

Also funnily enough, to go off on a tangent... I've been listening to this song lately...

You might be thinking... What does that have to do with ICE AGE?

That song above is by a group called Rusted Root, off of their first album - CRUEL SUN, released in 1992. CRUEL SUN also had a song on it called 'Send Me On My Way', which Rusted Root remade in 1994 for their album WHEN I WOKE. That version of the song is the one that became a hit single, and the very version that you hear in the mid-movie montage in the first ICE AGE... An iconic folky worldly-sounding '90s song... and ICE AGE was where I - at age 9 1/2 - first heard it...

I just thought that was kind of a fun coincidence, really.

That was THE era of putting pop songs like that into animated movies, or having the hired musicians write songs like that in lieu of theatre-style musical numbers (think Randy Newman on the TOY STORY movies). ICE AGE used 'Send Me On My Way' in the same way the SHREK soundtrack used its more eccentric song choices, the year prior. And by the end of the 2000s, it became a real norm for these kinds of films... Needledrops, as the cool folk say...

[tinyinvadr]

New chapter time!

Psychoborrower

Chapter 5

“So, what are you? Ah- sorry. That didn’t sound as rude in my head, but, um…”

There was really no point in hiding anything anymore. He’d not only seen me at that point, but I was riding on his shoulder. And if I didn’t answer, he’d likely just find other stupid questions to ask me.

“I’m a borrower. Basically, we’re tiny humans. Heh… don’t tell my parents I said that, though. They hate humans. Actually, yeah, if you ever run into them, don’t talk to them at all. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Got it. I’m guessing you’re breaking a bunch of rules just by being here, huh?”

I chuckled. “Oh yeah. Used my psychic powers, ran away from home, interacted with humans… Y’know, all this time I’ve been telling myself that if I became a Psychonaut, my parents would finally accept me. But now that I think about it, they’ll probably be pissed beyond belief if they ever see me again.”

Raz went quiet for a minute as he continued to walk towards the lake. I had a feeling it had something to do with his dad. He didn’t have much time left at camp, from the sound of it. And with this whole evil plot going on, there was even less time to squeeze in everything he wanted to learn.

“I’m sorry you can’t stay longer. And that I was so hard on you before.”

“Huh? Oh, don’t worry about that. And… I’ll figure something out with my Dad. I’m not sure what yet, but… I’ll think of something.”

When we got to the lake, I had to hide myself in the collar of his turtleneck sweater. I would’ve turned invisible, but I’m not able to hold it long, and it takes a minute to recharge, so I couldn’t risk being seen. Especially not with Bobby still lurking around, looking for kids to bully. At least, that’s what we thought at first.

Like Dogen, he was brainless. Walking around like a zombie and droning out “TV…” over and over.

Is it wrong to say it might not be such a terrible thing for Bobby to be brainless?

After he left, Raz met up with Lili. She had additional information, such as Milla leaving in a hurry like Sasha did, and transmissions over the camp loudspeakers from Oleander, mumbling about his plans in his sleep.

From the sound of it, we were the only ones left who could do anything. Besides Ford, all the adults were gone, and all the other kids were already de-brained.

It was up to us. This truly was our first Psychonauts mission.

And for some reason, Lili really wanted to make out with Raz.

It’s a part of camp culture that everyone wants a romantic summer fling, so it didn’t surprise me, but this was not the time to be talking about it. I also didn’t wanna be this close to Raz while he was kissing her. It’s just gross.

If you can believe it, something even worse than those two kissing ended up happening.

A giant fish monster jumped out of the bushes, grabbed Lili with its lure, and pushed Raz to the ground, sending me tumbling a couple inches away.

We were both shocked and terrified, but Lili wasn’t having it.

“Oh no, you did NOT just hit my boyfriend!”

Apparently the monster wasn’t one to take sass lightly, so its only response was to shove her into its mouth and stomp off into the lake.

Needless to say, witnessing that shook me to my core. All borrowers fear larger animals because they might try to eat us. It’s a valid fear for us, but it’s not something most humans have to worry about since there aren’t many larger creatures that they encounter on a regular basis. So to see something that posed such a threat to beings who always seemed invincible in my eyes…

“Flint? You there, buddy?”

I snapped out of my spiraling to see Raz hovering over me, waving his hand in front of my face.

“Y-Yeah, I’m good.”

He let out a relieved sigh and gently scooped me up.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta go save Lili. We can follow the monster in the bathysphere.”

He put me back on his shoulder and headed onto the dock. If I had the choice, I would’ve rather sat this one out. I was way too vulnerable in the physical world, and I couldn’t exactly fight well either. But I also didn’t want to be left alone on the beach in case that thing came back for me. Or, y’know, just a regular seagull or something.

I kept reminding myself as the bathysphere submerged that Raz was just as scared as I was. We were going to the bottom of the lake. If anything went wrong, there was a chance that he’d fall victim to his curse and die instantly.

When we reached the bottom, we entered a huge air bubble, allowing us to get out and continue on foot. All around us were the destroyed remains of various buildings. There was a whole town under the lake, reduced to ruins. The sight was haunting and eerie, but also strangely beautiful. The green glow of the coral and the water flowing around us outside the bubble gave the place an otherworldly feel.

After searching for a bit, we found the remains of a bell tower. It was mostly in tact, so with a pull of the rope, Raz was able to ring the bell and lure the monster right to us.

There was no way to get close enough to fight it, so we relied on smashing up crates of nails whenever it tried to swallow us. We were chased all over the lake’s floor, and it wasn’t until we led the beast to an oyster bed that we were finally able to defeat it.

Still, there was no sign of Lili.

According to Ford’s observations, the monster was once an ordinary lungfish, but it had been mutated. There were various lumps and implants all over its head. It seemed the creature had been modified into its current form so that it could be controlled and used to kidnap the campers for Oleander’s evil plan.

Never thought I’d feel bad for a big scary fish monster but here we are.

Ford suggested we try entering its mind to see if we could free it from his control, and it was then that I realized Raz took Sasha’s psycho-portal.

“Did you seriously steal that?”

“I’m gonna give it back to him! Besides, we’ll need it to find Lili and the others.”

With a swift throw, the portal locked onto the monster’s head, and the gateway was open. The only minds I’d ever entered were the counselors, so I had no idea what to expect.

Definitely didn’t expect Raz and I to project into a miniature city populated entirely by lungfish.

The citizens screamed out in terror and ran when we appeared, and who could blame them? We towered over their buildings. We were… monsters.

Oh. Oh wow. Ford wasn’t kidding when he said the lungfish was also afraid of us. Or, at least Raz. Probably not me.

“Huh. Looks like we’re on the same page for once on how weird this feels.”

“Hey, wait, why are you still projecting yourself like that?”

I crossed my arms. “Why would I choose to be small and weak if I don’t have to?”

“I don’t think you’re weak. I just… it doesn’t seem healthy to hold it for this long. I remember something similar happened in True Psychic Tales Issue #325-”

“Those are just comics.”

“Based on actual events!”

Our argument was interrupted by a nearby lungfish screaming in pain until he dropped dead.

“You killed him.”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Then stop shouting!”

Another lungfish ran over to us and started jumping up and down to get our attention.

“Hey! Giant monsters! Over here! Your assistance is needed for the resistance!”

It turns out the implants manifested in the form of an alter ego of Coach Oleander, known as Kochamara. He ruled over the city and controlled everyone by sending out propaganda from the radio tower. It was his influence that made the lake monster kidnap all the campers.

A few civilians were planning to stage a rebellion and take back their home from Kochamara, but many of them had been imprisoned, so we were the perfect candidates to break them out of jail. And if we helped them, we’d be able to get answers on where Lili was taken.

Raz went ahead and smashed open the prison, earning the name “Goggalor” from the terrified citizens.

I was… frustrated, to say the least.

Why did HE get to be the cool giant monster who saves the town? I mean, I’ve been tiny all my life, don’t you think I’ve earned the chance to be giant just once?

That competitive streak in me reared its ugly head again, and I was overcome with the urge to one-up him.

I met up with the freed prisoners, who were all still singing Goggalor’s praises.

“Hello, citizens! I’m with him. We’re kind of a cool giant monster package deal. So, need anything else destroyed? Got a cool name for me?”

The lungfish looked at each other in awkward silence until one of them finally spoke up.

“Uh… your name is… Stompy? Yeah, Stompy. And we do need another one of our comrades freed, but he’s imprisoned on the other side of that tunnel-”

“Great, thanks for the tip!”

Maybe I was a tad overzealous. If I stuck around to listen, I would’ve known that the tunnel was equipped with deadly lasers. But I didn’t. So I walked straight through there, and was painfully zapped.

I was able to back out of the tunnel in time before I could lose a projection layer, but my focus was completely thrown off, making me revert to borrower form.

The surrounding lungfish saw this and took the opportunity to ambush me.

“Stompy has been weakened! Capture him and turn him over to Kochamara!”

I tried to fight them off, but I was greatly outnumbered. They dragged me off into an airplane, and I was locked in before I could escape.

As the plane took off, a broadcast with Coach Oleander’s voice came through on the radio.

“We’ve gotten word that Goggalor’s pathetic associate Stompy has just been compromised! He may seem harmless now, but citizens are advised to remain alert on the off-chance that Goggalor comes to his aid. Not that he would, of course, being the horrible monster that he is. Regardless, you can all rest assured that our volunteer navy will bring this destructive menace to justice! Kidnappingchildrenisgood.”

I made my way to the front of the plane, where two copilot lungfish were seated.

“Hey! Can’t you guys tell you’re being brainwashed?”

“You have the right to remain silent, Stompy. Anything you say can and will be held against you when Kochamara is pummeling you.”

“That doesn’t make any sen-”

“SILENCE!!!”

I spent the rest of the flight begrudgingly agreeing to their terms. I could only hope that Raz would rescue me sooner rather than later. And that he wouldn’t rub it in my face that he was right about me relying on my false projection too much.

Still, it was beyond frustrating that he expected me to be able to defend myself at my true size. I was useless. Far too weak to ever be a Psychonaut…

If Sasha and Milla really did know the truth about me all along, that had to be the reason they refused to let me join them. I was beyond qualified, but that didn’t matter. I would never be human.

It hurt. It really did. Why couldn’t they have just been upfront if they knew the entire time? It would’ve saved me so much trouble. I could’ve gone home, given up on my powers for good. But instead, I wasted all that time training for nothing. Ford said they wouldn’t turn me away, and I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t help but feel like they already did a long time ago.

The plane landed on the small nearby island where the radio tower was stationed. I was escorted off by the pilots, where I was met with the towering Kochamara.

“Well, look what we have here.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, shut up.”

“But I have a proposition for you, Stompy. From one little guy to another…”

[barkspawn]

If you're up for it - Shane comforting Amelia, with the prompt “Do you– can I– do you want to be held?” I LOVE YOUR ONE SHOTS THANK YOU!!!

Uh hey. I'm sorrryyyyy.

Also I'm going to attempt to do this on mobile. If it's awful I will edit on PC.

Amelia hung up her phone and threw it onto the bed, letting out a frustrated groan. She hardly talked to her father, but on those brief calls every few months, he never failed to be a dick.

Every time they spoke, without fail, he would find every negative thing in her life and chastise her for it.

She’s lived in Stardew Valley for nearly a year and she was doing well enough but is genuinely starting to get the hang of things now. She finally had a good amount of gold and supplies to run a proper farm and raise some chickens and maybe even some larger animals.

Her crops this fall were incredible. She made more than she had ever yet and she was proud.

Until the talk with her dad, where he pointed out that she was making a lot of stupid mistakes. He told her she didn't need to focus on chickens since she was too clueless to install an irrigation system. She already made plans to set that up and was waiting for the materials to come in. It wasn't already done though, so of course she was inadequate.

Frustrated, she resolved to turn her day around.

A shower.

She wanted a hot shower to relax her muscles and relax. With a sigh, she pulled off her dirty overalls and underclothes, looking at herself in the mirror. She was toning her body a bit, it seems, but she still got so caught up on the “pudge” of her belly, as her mom called it.

She threw the clothes in a heap into her hamper and made for the shower. She turned the water on hot, pulling her hair from the tie and climbing in. The heat from the shower was everything. It felt incredible on her sore muscles… until about two minutes later.

The water suddenly ran cold.

Amelia let out a yelp at the sudden change, clinging to the far side of the shower.

Is this seriously happening?

She groaned, still having to rinse off her hair and body.

It took far longer than it had to, her body more tense than when she started. She hurried to dry off, freezing from the cold water and the fact she’d forgotten to light the fireplace.

Winter would come in a few days, so it was already cold. At least she had this round of crops to get her some gold for the coming winter.

She lit the fire as soon as she could, the warmth bringing her much needed comfort. She closed her eyes and sighed, taking the moment to herself before she had to make her way in town.

Amelia was putting her shoes on as she heard Loaf barking at something. She sighed and went out the door, panic washing over her.

“No, no, no!”

She ran down the stairs to her porch as she watched a handful of crows fly off. Her scarecrow lay on the ground, presumably knocked down in yesterday’s storm or by Loaf. She really didn't want to, but she walked over to look, at least four pumpkins gone.

With a sigh, she stood the scarecrow back up, not even in the mood to be upset about it. It's a little less gold… She hoped.

She went back inside to grab her phone, figuring a walk might calm her down. She groaned, noting the crack running along her screen.

Great, now I have to call Z-Mobile too.

She checked her phone, a text from Sam canceling their plans for later, Vincent having gotten pretty sick.

The rest of the day was filled with little inconveniences. A snag in her sweater, a splinter in her hand, not being able to find her hoe that she just upgraded, and the list goes on. The sun started to set, and she tried to make some basic, crappy frozen meal, but the microwave won't work. It just wouldn't power on. She nearly screamed.

Instead, she grabbed the bottle of wine from her fridge and walked out the door and down toward the forest. She moved to sit on the small pier of the lake.

She closed her eyes for a long moment, trying to let the sound of the crickets and bullfrogs calm her. She took the wine and just stared at it.

It had a cork.

She just looked at it, her mind just blank. She would throw it into the lake if it didn't take so long to make. Instead, she let herself yell in frustration, burying her face in her hands.

“Whoa, bad day?”

She heard Shane behind her and nearly fell into the lake and would have if he hadn't reacted fast enough. Her eyes already stung with tears.

“Uh, yeah. Just.. A really bad day,” she started ahead, the only thought she had was how she should have listened to that damn fortune channel this morning.

“I feel ya…” Shane started, holding up a cooler, “don't have a corkscrew, but I can offer a cold one?”

She smiled up at him, “please?” she sighed, watching as he sat awkwardly, cross-legged on the other as he handed her a beer.

“I don't think I've ever seen you anything other than happy,” he started, “well, maybe a little pouty, but that doesn't count.”

“Just… One thing after another today.”

He nodded, “trust me. I understand those days. Sorry you got one.”

She cursed those first few tears that fell, glancing at Shane, who looked uncomfortable as all hell. With a sigh, she stood.

“Here, switch places with me. I think the edge is too close for my luck today.”

He smirked, joking, “well hold on tight and ill walk you over here.”

She hated this. She hated that it even got to the point where she was crying in front of her best friend who she happened to have feelings for. He held out a hand to help her over the little pile of things on the pier, hearing her sniffle as she came closer.

He looked over her face, noting the shine of tears she tried to hide.

“Shit, Oats…” he put his hand on her shoulder, causing her to break. She let out a cry and he pulled his hand back, worried he would somehow make it worse.

“Do you–” he started, losing that thought as she tried to apologize, her face in her hands.

“Can I–” he started, not knowing what to offer. What could he possibly do to make it better? Jas liked hugs.. But she's a child. He thought back to the last time he was that distraught and how Marnie was there and just–

He put his hands on her shoulders, his voice gentle, “do you want to be held?”

She looked up at him, eyes puffy and red as she slowly nodded before the dam broke once more.

He stepped forward and let her cry into his chest. She sort of seemed to curl in on herself, her hands gripping the front of his jacket. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, making sure not to hold on to her too tightly, but firm enough to know he was there and would always be.

His heart ached as she cried, every ounce of stress coming out in a wet spot on Shane’s shirt. Eventually, she slowed, her breathing evening out. She moved to wrap her arms around him, returning his firm hug with a tight embrace.

“Do you want me to let go?” he heard her mumble into his chest.

“Nah, not until you're ready to. I'm not going anywhere.”

“I don't know what I did to deserve you… But I'm so thankful right now that you came.”

“You know I'm usually only here or at the saloon.”

“Maybe I just knew I needed you around. I'm sorry.”

“Oats, you had a shit day. You needed to cry and that's fine. I'm not gonna leave you alone to cry over a cork,” he joked, resting his cheek on her head, “plus, it's kind of cold and you're like the best little space heater.”

She laughed, “At least I did something right today.”

“Hey, don't do that,” he pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, “I know you and I know that you are the most impressive person I've ever met. Look at how far you've come with your farm! How huge you are to this community!”

She looked down, causing him to tilt her chin upwards with his finger, “your good days far outweigh the bad. Next time you have a bad day, call me. I don't like that you're all upset.”

She gave a small smile and pulled him in for a tighter hug, “thank you, Shane. It really means the world…”

“Don’t mention it,” he sighed, returning the tighter hug, “and I really mean that. I can't have people thinking I've gone soft.”

[monsterkissed]

☼: how i came up with the idea and ☾: how i thought people would respond to the fic, for BNGN!!

the anime's ridiculously fun adaptation of the kc vs metallica fight has a lot to answer for, basically (cut bc i spent Far too long talking about writing things)

so VA was my first ever jjba experience, i watched it with my partners bc they had been baiting me with the pretty men ruthlessly, and it's v fun to talk ab in that way that things that r both v fun and kinda flawed r fun to talk ab, so i was getting back into writing fic after a Ludicrously long spell of writer's block and having a fun time with that. and bc doppio in particular does not get a lot of screen time but spends all of it being rly fun in a particularly compelling way (he's a horrible little amoral crime man but he's also an anxious disaster weirdo, which makes him v fun to watch in a way that imo a more straightforward baddie wouldn't be) he was one of my favourite chew toys. so u can add bngn to the list of humanity's crimes that can be attributed to the phrase "wouldn't it be funny if..." bc i thought it would indeed be funny to shove him into the bucci gang, but my partners correctly pointed out that he would just try to kill them, which obviously would srsly hamper the comedy potential. so i had to find a way to make him Not Do That

my preferred way of approaching writing problems like this has always been the mia fey method of plot contrivance: don't ask "why would they do that", ask "why would they have to do that" and the entire initial outlining process (most of which i did in a single v boring night shift) was looking at all the stuff i wanted to do and trying to answer that question. originally it was just going to be a bunch of snapshot drabbles following the vague plot beats of "doppio stuck in the bucci gang" (remember, i had been writer's-blocked for Years and had absolutely no confidence in my ability to do a multi-part project of any real weight) and would be mainly light and comedy with a v barebones plot. but my horrible brain kept niggling those little questions. ok, dop doesn't have kc and the boss isn't in his body anymore, but he could just go back to passione, right? so why can't he do that. why can't diavolo just come back to him. if the boss is "gone" then why don't bruno and co just go home. what does everyone else think about doppio, little weirdo that he is? sure, it'd be easier if they all just basically liked him, but wouldn't it be more Fun if there was friction? it would be easier if he could just talk diavolo into being their pal, but wouldn't it be more Fun if he can't? ("easy solutions are usually less fun" is another of my writing philosophies that i think u can probably pick up on after a while lol. i like to cause problems on purpose. and then you have more fun questions to ask! if doppio can't just come clean to the gang and the boss won't just be nice and make friends, what situations have i forced them into bc of these immovable barriers? why does doppio have to come clean, and why does diavolo have to reveal himself are two questions that have only just been answered in the fic now, 30+ chapters in lol)

and the longer i was chewing on these things the more i was thinking about VA itself and the themes in it, because "these things have to happen" is actually a plot point in the original. the whole tragedy between bruno and giorno had been a big thing while we were watching it, bc they both have just some excellent fights and a really interesting relationship to me, i think in terms of jojo+jobro pairs it's the strongest narrative arc we got until p7 in terms of the central two and their reasons for coming together and fighting together being deeply entwined in the plot and themes. you can't rly talk about VA for any length of time without running up against questions like "what does it mean for someone else to bring your life meaning" and that applies to a lot of the villains as well! so if doppio was gonna be in the crew then it made a lot of sense to draw some parallels there and dig into those relationships as well, and from there everything just kind of naturally problematised itself. what does it mean to live and die for someone in a universe where death is canonically predestined? if i've come in with my funny joke au and now those characters aren't dying anymore, what does that actually mean for the weight of all of those concepts? if doppio and bruno don't die, haven't i kind of undermined one of the things about them that made them so resonant to me? if they can't die for the things that gave their lives meaning, then that kind of undercuts that meaning, doesn't it? it might sound morbid to say, but death is a big way of expressing love in VA (this happens in other parts of jjba ofc, but VA feels rly enamoured with that concept in particular) and i found that if i cut off the latter half of the story it lost a lot of punch, and at this point i was too deep in the weeds and i really, really wanted Punch.

i had seen quite a few fixit fics in the vein of "either GER or some other powerful time stand goes back and undoes all the Bad Stuff and everyone lives and it's fine" and u know, that's chill, u see those in p much every fandom. in fact u see that in actual original fiction sometimes, but something ab it always made me kinda sad in those? you see the characters struggling and pushed to their limits, sometimes bringing out the most fascinating parts of their characters, and even tho we don't want them to end up sad it usually felt kind of frustrating to turn back the clock and lose all of that. and the older i got the more it bothered me philosophically, too, bc okay, in the prime timeline everyone lives, but that other timeline Happened, right? all the stuff they endured hasn't actually been Erased, we saw it, it was as real as anything else in this fictional world. and all of this is swimming around in my head next to things like an extended joke about the word "narcolepsy" and "i think tiziano should wear a suit" and "trish should kill".

so i sat down on my boring night shift and after a slight hiccup (i wanted scenes of doppio's "normal" life and backstory, but i didn't want the whole first third of the fic to be that before we even got to the actual Plot, which i eventually realised i could solve with the flashbacks) i wrote my outline, chronologically, from "how does doppio physically end up with them" through every key event i already had floating in my head, and along the way everything just clicked? that is the fun thing about creating problems for your characters: the problems themselves solve other problems. "why can't doppio just go back to passione > because passione is also in revolt" solves "why can't bruno and co just go home > because they're targetted by them" and "doppio can't come clean > but someone in passione can out him". people have told me that the pacing is very good which tbh is remarkable considering the Length, but i think it comes down to that part of the planning. whenever i encountered any difficulty i just looked for ways to push the characters Harder until they did interesting things lol. once i got to the end i went back over it so that i could flesh out the earlier parts with all the later info i now had down and drop more foreshadowing and foundation-laying, and it's Really fun to see ppl notice those on rereads

and i did not think it would be all that popular! the ships are not the big VA superstars and the main character is a minor villain who isn't exactly getting a nice fun uncomplicated redemption arc and, again, it's a Beefy fic (tho a lot moreso than i originally projected...) with a Beefy plot. the main ship stuff is a big focus but again, not really in a way ppl r necessarily Looking For in their shippy content. low on pda and normal romance, big on the more troublesome aspects and less-than healthy parts. and that's before u even get into the weird meta pomo nonsense (again, something i scribbled in the outline margins all "oh this would be fun" that in the end totally Consumed me). i thought people would like the flashbacks, being more straightforward cute character/relationship stuff, but not really get into the plot or the present events.

i think it is safe to say i underestimated my readership. the support and the people reading and rereading this monster, showing up to updates and getting hype, and the people making fanart?? of my weird complicated meditation on what it means to rewrite a narrative??? it's been genuinely amazing and honestly the entire thing has been worth it just for the people i have met through it. i never imagined anyone would be as glowing over it as people have been. it is Wild to me whenever anyone mentions talking ab this with other people, like i wrote some kind of Real Story that human beings discuss with each other?? genuinely it knocks me out every time, and i love everything from the most scribbly notebook doodle of a scene or character to the pages of theorycrafting to the people just pointing out their favourite lines.

i am v glad my partners bullied me into watching the weird poses-and-punches anime to look at the pretty men.

[crinkled-emotions]

ok! it’s a very basic request, i love ur daderick story and the dynamic u show between amelia and rooster, can u write a fic elaborating on that and maybe showing more of their relationship? i love the idea of protective older brother rooster so maybe u could add that in🥹

Heheheh, here it is!! I took a break from writing sickfics to get this published, and for some reason it's giving Last of Us vibes??

I would just like to say it's not giving those vibes because there's zombies. There are no zombies in this fic. No clickers, no stalkers, not even a shambler (this is way past a joke lmao).

Anyway! It's time for... *checks spreadsheet* Big Brother Bradley! I hope this is what you were thinking about!

Maverick tossed the last of the luggage into Penny’s car, quickly closing the door so the luggage didn’t come back out. Penny rolled her eyes, snorting as she glanced over at Amelia.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? You could stay with grandpa,” she said. Amelia fixed her with a glare.

“I’ll be fine. It’s, like, three days-“

“-it’s a week, kid,” Pete said as he walked over with his hands on his hips. Penny pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling.

“I don’t like the idea of you home alone, it’s not too late…”

“Penny, I think she’ll be okay.”

“I’m not okay with it!”

“Amelia, who do you call in the event of an emergency?” Pete asked.

“Bradley.”

“And last person?”

“Bagman.”

“Ah, see, Pen, she’ll be fine.”

Pete walked away, pausing in front of Bradley who had come to say goodbye to Pete and Penny who were going away for the week. It wasn’t a honeymoon, it wasn’t Pete’s retirement holiday or him using all of his leave, it was just a holiday.

Okay, maybe it was something similar to a honeymoon and maybe it was Pete’s retirement present.

No one’s allowed to talk about him retiring.

Now that Pete was gone, Penny gave her daughter a hug, pressing a kiss to her hair.

“Now, who do you call first?”

“Grandpa.”

“And last?”

“Bagman.”

“Yeah, yeah that’s right. But what if grandpa’s not available?”

“Call base and ask for Bradley.”

Bradley appeared out of nowhere, Pete right behind him. He was going to hang around for a little while after Pete and Penny left, just in case Amelia got cold feet, but she was counting down the minutes until he was gone. She had pizza to order and Animal Crossing to play; with Bradley gone she could play music too. God, she had all of the plans.

“Alright, honey, we should get going. Be good, I love you, call us tonight.”

“I love you too, mom. Have a good trip.”

Amelia held on tighter to her mother for just a little longer, squeezing her eyes shut. As excited as she was to have the house to herself, a part of her was also scared as hell.

“Alright kid, be good. You know who to call if you need anything.”

Pete gave her a hug too, and despite only being back in her life for less than a year she felt just as safe with him as she did her mother. When she glanced over at Bradley he was leaning against his Bronco, sunglasses on. He didn’t look particularly bothered at all.

He never really did.

Ah, well, except that one time Hangman picked at him at the Hard Deck- heh. Story for another time.

“Be good, Bradley!” Pete yelled as he got into Penny’s car. Bradley waved him off as they pulled out of the drive. The second the car was gone he pulled up his sunglasses and Amelia turned on her heel to follow him into the house.

-

“What are you doing?”

“Thank me later.”

Bradley was working through the liquor cabinet, pulling bottles out and into reusable bags. Amelia crossed her arms.

“Y’know I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be watching me, not robbing my mom’s liquor cabinet.”

“That’s cute.”

He kept going and she tugged on his shoulder.

“Seriously, what are you doing?”

“You have the house to yourself for a week. There’s no way in hell you’re not going to have a party.”

“Ew, socialising? Fuck no.”

Bradley lifted his head finally, staring at her.

“No party? How old are you again?”

“I’m sixteen and I have a date with my switch and a pizza that’s arriving in half an hour.”

Bradley shook his head.

“Okay, I stand corrected. You scare me a little.”

“Look, I’m good. You don’t have to hang around, I know today’s your only day off. I’m sure you want to, I dunno, go hang out with your friends or whatever people do at your age.”

“At my age? Did you just- did you just call me old?”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

Amelia crossed her arms. Bradley rolled his eyes.

“Okay, fine. I’m going to go, but- just… call me. Don’t do anything stupid, okay? Be careful.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.”

He stood and headed for the door. As much as she was glad to see the back of him a part of her wanted to call out and ask him to stay.

Then she had a better idea.

“Hey, Bradley?”

“Yeah?”

Bradley stood by the door, hand on his hip.

“Did you… when you were my age…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He winked, and then walked out the door. Amelia heaved a sigh.

-

“How did it go?”

“Eh, she’s fine. I honestly think Mav and Penny were more worried than Amelia was. She was more concerned about what pizza she was going to order.”

“What did she end up going with?”

Phoenix stepped back to let Rooster into her apartment, raising an eyebrow at him. He shrugged.

“I dunno. She wasn’t eyeing Penny’s finest so I figured she was good to hang by herself.”

“She’s not you at fifteen, Roos,” Hangman said from where he’d draped himself across the top of the couch like a cat. Rooster was suddenly tempted to push him and see what happened. When he glanced at Phoenix she shook her head and he pouted. She was right; he’d have to wait until there were no witnesses. Fanboy and Bob were sitting on Phoenix’s other couch, Fanboy glancing up.

“Hey, did you lock up the booze?” He asked Rooster, who shrugged.

“She honestly didn’t seem interested. She said she had a date with her switch and a pizza.”

“That’s a mood,” Bob said at the same time as Hangman snorted in amusement.

“Yeah, I didn’t seem that interested either in front of my parents but I definitely was. My sister came to check on me and I seem to remember her gagging as she mopped the bathroom.”

He scrubbed at his eyes, glaring at Rooster.

“I know what you’re thinking. Do you want me to kick your ass?”

“It’s just so tempting,” Rooster deadpanned. Hangman’s grip on the couch tightened a little.

“You wouldn’t-“

“-hey! Focus; are you going to go and check on Amelia later?”

Payback snapped his fingers at Rooster who shrugged.

“I’ll text her at dinner, then again before I go to bed. She’s fine, she’s been home alone over the weekend before.”

“That’s not a week, Brooster,” Bob said. He kicked his legs up and on to Fanboy’s lap, reaching for his phone.

“Damn, really?” Rooster deadpanned. He facepalmed.

“She called me Bradley.”

The others all burst out laughing, Coyote patting Rooster on the shoulder.

“That is your name, right?”

“Shut up.”

-

Amelia stretched, lazily glancing up at the clock. She realised it was nearly 8pm and she was… bored. She never thought she’d see the day she was home alone and bored. She put her switch down and reached for her phone, realising Bradley had texted about ten minutes ago.

Bradley: you alive?

Amelia: consider this my notification of death

Bradley: hilarious

Bradley: have you eaten dinner?

Amelia: what are you, my mom?

Bradley: I could never make a whiskey sour like your mom

Bradley: have you?

Amelia: yes I ate chill out

Amelia: do you need a Xanax??

Bradley: surprised you know what that is

Bradley: are you in your mom’s med cabinet?

Bradley: just making sure you’re okay

Amelia: bye Bradley

She put her phone down and got up, searching for the TV remote. She was in the mood for something a little… spookier, now that Bradley had riled her up a little. If he asked later she’d say it was his fault. Criminal Minds popped up and she knew exactly what she was going to spend the rest of the night doing. She also reached for her phone again. Criminal Minds went really well with cookies and cupcakes.

-

Rooster was only half awake when he realised his phone was violently vibrating on his bedside table, and he grimaced as he reached for it.

“H-fuck- hello?”

“Bradley?”

Rooster sat bolt upright in bed, already kicking off the sheets to find a pair of sweats.

“Amelia? What’s wrong?”

“Can you come over?”

She sounded small, like the baby she was when Bradley saw her last almost fifteen years ago and she'd fit in his hands. He frowned, pulling his phone from his ear and checking the time before searching for his hoodie.

“Hey, can you tell me what’s going on? Do I need to call the cops?”

“N-no cops, I just- I’m sorry.”

Rooster paused.

“Oh, shit, Amelia, I- you don’t have to apologise, okay? You are not in trouble at all, it’s nothing. I’m actually pretty good at getting up at odd hours.”

That was a lie.

His callsign wasn't Rooster for his inability to get up with the sun-

“I’m sorry Bradley,” Amelia sobbed. Rooster winced.

“Kid, hey, can you take some deep breaths for me? I need you to slow down, you’re really scaring me. I can call your mom, if- if you feel more comfortable-“

“-no!”

Rooster stopped, mid-struggle into his pants and landing on his ass on his bed. He was also pretty confused.

“Uh-?”

“Please don’t call her. She’ll never leave me alone again.”

“Gotcha. Okay, I’m on my way. Do you need me to grab anything on my way?”

“No.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in- uh- probably ten? Fifteen at the latest.”

Silence. Then, a sniff.

“Can you bring chocolate?”

“Jeez kid, it’s- is it seriously 3am? Fuck, okay, I’ll grab chocolate on the way. Are you gonna rip my head off if I get the wrong type?”

“No.”

“Alright, I’m coming. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“Please,” Amelia whispered. Rooster scrubbed at his face, searching for his car keys.

“Hold on for me, kiddo.”

-

Amelia listened to Bradley chatting to himself, swearing as he stubbed his toe on his way down the stairs. He then kept up a running commentary whilst he drove, taking the piss out of people doing dumb shit at odd hours of the night. She stayed curled up in bed, pulling her blankets over her head to listen to him ranting about the way the air conditioning wasn’t working properly in his Bronco and how he was going to have to pay to get it re-gassed again.

“Surely you can just do it yourself?” Amelia whispered. She heard Bradley chuckle.

“No, kid, I can fix most of the shit but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to touch the air.”

“Oh.”

She grimaced at the pain radiating through her abdomen, curling up tighter.

“Can you fix my car?” She whispered.

“You sound like you’re in pain, kid. What’s wrong?”

He heard the pain in her voice but she knew he was confused. She whimpered.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Can’t you hurry up?”

“Amelia, I’m trying not to break the law here. Alright, I’m turning into your street. Go and unlock the front door then you can go back to bed.”

She managed to climb out of bed then walked down the hallway, pausing to unlock the door. She then crawled back into bed and pulled the blanket over her head, waiting for Bradley to get there. He’d hung up their phone call so she knew he wasn’t far away.

Sure enough, the front door opened and she poked her head out.

“B?”

“Comin’.”

She knew he was kicking his shoes off- her mom always chased him about it. Apparently she’d been doing it since he was a kid. It was kind of sweet.

Finally, he appeared in the doorway and she sniffed. His eyes fell.

“Okay, c’mon, up. C’mere.”

-

Sitting on the couch, hot chocolate in a mug on the coffee table, Amelia stifled a sob and buried her face in the arm of the couch. Bradley reappeared from the kitchen, nudging at her shoulder so he could sit. She leaned into his side when he gave her a hug.

“Do you want to tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

She hummed, taking the tissue he passed over.

“I got my period.”

“Haven’t you had, like, a million of those- ow!”

Amelia had thumped Bradley in the shoulder and he winced, rubbing the spot with a frown.

“Sorry?”

“I got my period and mom isn’t here and everything hurts.”

Her lip wobbled again and he panicked, pulling her tighter against his side.

“Okay kiddo, okay… shhhh… do you need me to go and get you… stuff?”

“Shut up.”

Despite the way she punched his shoulder and the way she acted, she still leaned into him and waited for him to figure out next steps.

“Alright, new plan; I’m gonna get you some advil, you’re gonna pick some dumbass documentary, and then you’re gonna get some sleep. I’ll call your mom later and ask her for some tips.”

“Thanks.”

Amelia didn’t move. She could feel Bradley shifting, preparing to get up, and she sat up to let him get off the couch. He went into the bathroom and came back with the box of Advil, tossing it to her.

“Drink the hot chocolate.”

She grabbed the TV remote while she was at it and flicked through the channels, huffing as Bradley flopped into the armchair. He was apparently texting according to the way his brows furrowed for a second, then he reached over and poked Amelia’s arm.

“Tash says you need a heating pad to stop the cramps.”

“That sounds so good.”

Then she sat up.

“Tash?”

“Ah. Phoenix.”

“You whore, Bradley.”

“Oh, god, no.”

He burst out laughing, highly amused.

-

“Amelia? Honey, hey, what happened?”

Penny was frantic, worried as she paced the deck. Pete watched her, reaching for his phone. Sure enough it was buzzing and he answered the call.

“Hey, Roos. How’s it going?”

“You have to promise you’re not gonna laugh.”

“Oh, god. Is this gonna be like the time with the bottle of vodka-“

“Mav.”

Rooster sounded embarrassed- humiliated, even.

“Okay, fine, I guess I can hold on to that. Are you okay?”

“Ah, yeah, I got a wake up call around 3 this morning. Amelia’s fine, before you lose your shit. She’s still asleep for now.”

Maverick glanced over at his wife, watching the way she softened as she spoke to her daughter.

He wondered if he had the same look now, listening to Bradley.

[malarkay]

My "SH should have been sillier" vs your "SH should have been more focused" FIGHT

Lol, I don’t wanna fight you, Perry! But…

I think Storm Hawks ultimately was hurt by starting two years after Avatar: The Last Airbender. Because they tell similarish stories, but Avatar tells theirs better. Why? Because while it, too, had it’s silly moments, it balanced those moments with actual, serious storytelling. And it is, yes, more focused on the main storyline than Storm Hawks, which is mostly filler.

I made a list of episodes a friend of mine would need to watch in order to pretty fully understand my fanfic (shameless plug for Inside the Wire here ✌🏼) and it ended up being 17 episodes long. Technically 16 because I threw in The Lesson just for the heck of it because it’s fun and I love Arygyn. An argument could be made that I could have left out The Masked Masher, too, which I included for similar reasons (it’s fun, okay?!). So that’s 15-17 episodes of overarching plot relevant episodes out of a total of 52 episodes! That equals a lot of filler! A little less filler and a little more plot would have gone a long way toward making it a better, and longer lasting, show.

It just makes me a little sad to think of what could have been if things had been different and if it had been picked up for more seasons. Because honestly, it’s such a fun show! It’s such a fun concept! It’s basically steampunk Star Wars but the X-Wings are also motorcycles! Come on! What’s not to love?! The animation was great (alright they could have put a little more effort into stock character design, but overall it looked good), the voice acting was great, the characters were great!

I honestly loved the show. And maybe some of my criticism can be chalked up to me being older than the target demographic when it aired, but those are my thoughts and I’m sticking to them.

[stillness-in-green]

What's your opinion about eri? I mean, she's cute and pitiful, but does she seem... bland, at some points? I don't know how to put it in words but, like from writing good characters point of view, rather than the good, nice person point of view, or something?

She’s boring. Boring! My god. She’s cute and all, but with only very rare exceptions, she’s cute in the way that a stuffed animal is cute—harmless, an object to be acted upon, something to be plucked, somewhat worse for wear, out of a garage sale and taken home and cleaned up, then put on the bed to sit there and look cute and be periodically cuddled.

That’s overstating things somewhat, obviously, but I think Eri was at her most interesting when she was at her most difficult—and she was never really all that difficult.

(Hit the jump for more about the wrinkles Eri introduced in the "saving" narrative, her parallels with Shigaraki, and the impact of her powers on the story.)

So, as I said, Eri was never really all that challenging for Deku personally, but at least back in her origin arc, we had the idea that she was difficult for the heroes to reach because she couldn’t bring herself to believe that being “saved” was a possibility for her, because Overhaul had firmly established himself in her mind as just too strong to fight. She tried to run away, of course, but she never confronted him directly, because doing so was useless, so that was the mentality she had when anyone else confronted him as well.

I liked the approach that before heroes could save her, they needed to make her believe that saving her was even within their capabilities. I liked even more that, even after they got her out of there, they immediately ran into the problem that just because they got her out didn’t mean they’d addressed her trauma. There’s fantastic nuance to the idea that a hero can get someone out of immediate danger, but if the person they saved is just dumped right back into a bad situation, or into a freefall with no social safety net, the hero has done nothing but stave off an inevitable situation where that person gets themselves into trouble again—maybe a trouble they need once more to be saved from, or maybe a trouble that now involves saving others.

The big problem with Eri is that she was just so…Easy Mode. She was easy to sympathize with because she was little and cute and wounded (but in a clean way). She wasn’t angry and disillusioned like Kouta was. She was never creepy and covered in blood and smiling in a weird way like Tenko was. She was tattered and hurt-looking enough to make viewers want to take care of her, but not so much so that she became uncomfortable to look at. Possibly because Overhaul is a clean freak, she was never dirty or grubby; she had those big doe eyes and a perpetually sad or scared face, rather than being angry or—what seems more likely for her situation—completely shut down emotionally. There’s basically no one who could reasonably look at her and think, “I don’t know; I don’t know if trying to rescue that person is worth our time and effort.”

Compare this to victims like Tenko: also a child, but one who looked off-putting enough that people kept shying away from him. Or try Bakugou instead: older, less sympathetic, so he got hints dropped by a reporter that he might have gone villain already and no longer needed to be “saved.” This scales all the way on up to e.g. the Noumu, the all-out villains, the masses of the PLF, and so on.

One of the things that strikes me as most interesting about Eri from a narrative perspective is how clearly saving her serves as a prelude to saving Shigaraki. From manifesting (alleged) quirk mutations that lead to them killing their parents, to being picked up, abused and manipulated by villains, all the way from rejecting heroes’ attempts to save them despite how obviously they need it down to their very coloring, Eri was obviously a dry run for Shigaraki. She therefore serves as a highly useful comparison point for how things are liable to go with Shigaraki.

The trouble for me is that there’s no middle ground there. Eri is the version of Shigaraki who’s nice and sweet and easy to save, who doesn’t lash out, whose ignorance or warped understanding of morality and social norms goes no further than the extremely on-the-nose “doesn’t know how to smile.” Her issues all basically get resolved in the space of a school concert, with no further plot time dedicated to e.g. her long-term housing situation, her schooling, or her upbringing outside of training her quirk.(1)

That by itself makes her not as interesting as she would be if the horrific situation she was rescued from were allowed to influence her in more realistic, ongoing ways, but it’s particularly annoying because it makes her—well, not even much of a dry-run for Shigaraki, either.

I’ve seen people suggest that Eri isn’t the preview for Shigaraki, but rather the Good End of Shigaraki: the version that suggests that children like Tenko are not beyond help if they’re helped in time. I don’t think that’s Horikoshi’s intent myself,(2) as there’s far too much of the series’ overall tone riding on the matter of saving Shigaraki, but I can understand why some people who don’t care about the villains might get to that conclusion, because there’s so little bridge between them, so little that points in the direction from Eri towards Shigaraki.

Deku is thick-headed. It’s clear at this point that he doesn’t see this stuff until it’s shoved in front of him while someone yells in his ear about it, ideally while crying. I suspect that’s why we have Crying Inner Five-Year-Old Tenko, because Deku and/or the narrative has been so bad at establishing a continuous line between where Eri was when heroes saved her and where Shigaraki is now. Thus, instead of a line that points from Eri to Shigaraki, Vision!Tenko becomes a line that points backwards, as if Deku hasn’t matured in his understanding of how to save people at all.

I wish it didn’t have to be that way, and one way we might have had a Deku who didn’t need that psychic vision would have been an Eri who was a little bit farther down Shigaraki’s road to begin with.

On the other big consideration with Eri, her power and the role it will play in the narrative, I have less to say. I used to be extremely concerned that she would be used to rewind Shigaraki back to his child self (which is, to quote a webcomic, “just a complicated way of annihilating the person [he] is today”), but I don’t really think that’s on the table at this point. Her ability to rewind people is tied to her horn, a finite resource, and going by how much it shrank when all she did was rewind Mirio six months, the amount of it growth she would need to rewind Shigaraki 16+ years is just not something I think is feasible.

Also too, there’s been no indication thus far that people who get rewound lose their memories of the intervening period, and what has it actually fixed in Shigaraki’s psychology if you just put his current mindset back in the body of a five-year-old, probably against his wishes?

That just leaves the prospect of healing fatal wounds, and while that’s possibly an option, it would be so time-consuming that you’d quickly run into the same problem—if she had a good build-up she could help a number of people whose injuries were all relatively recent, or one person who’d been out of commission for some time, but until the heroes figure out what her accumulation condition is,(3) they’re stuck waiting for her horn to build up naturally. She might have one more major play in the story, but it’s going to have be either saving one person on very recently injured with the little horn she has available right now, or it’s going to be in the epilogue, and either way, I’m not expecting her to come in and handwave Shigaraki back to harmlessness.

That, of course, is setting aside the fact that keeping Eri around for no reason but that her quirk is potentially convenient for the heroes is only less dehumanizing than what Overhaul was doing to her because the heroes aren’t literally enacting medical torture on her in the meantime. Seriously, let that girl find something—anything—else to do with her life. It’d go a long way towards helping flesh her out as a character beyond the sad waif who needs to be made to smile again because no one likes it when cute girls aren’t smiling or the heal spam button whose only relevance to the plot is who she’s undoing consequences for today.(4)

Aside: ...I am, it must be said, somewhat annoyed at the idea that Mirio needed his powers back to be a hero. Jesus wept, guys, he’s a third-year high school student who fought Overhaul solo for five full minutes while protecting a helpless child, possibly still under the effects of a quirk wreaking havoc on his sense of equilibrium, and quirkless. I’m not saying it’s bad for him to want his quirk back, or bad for Eri to want to restore him, but why in god’s name was someone that good at fighting ever pulled out of the Hero course? Fuck’s sake. He could never have gotten his quirk back at all and he would still have been, exactly as Nighteye predicted, as fine a hero as any.

Thinking about it takes me right back to one of my early objections to the entire premise of Deku as a character: "Wait, why would he need a super-power to be a hero? Hasn't the author ever heard of [long list of American superheroes who fight crime with entirely mundane talents and abilities]?" I got past that question for Deku because the legacy power plotline is more interesting anyway, but I shouldn't have needed to get past that question for Mirio because Mirio would have been a goddamn amazing way to address the entire setting's belief that people are defined by the quirks, for better or for worse, and a great way to challenge Midoriya to continue deepening his understanding of what it means to be a hero.

---

1: I mentioned this once before in, I want to say, one of the MVA In Memorium posts, but it’s striking that Eri is reassured by even the main character that her quirk is kind and gentle, rather than Deku reassuring her that she is herself a good person. Person and quirk are completely conflated, and while I’m sure it was a nice thing for Eri to hear in the moment, what with Chisaki having tried to pour so much poison in her ear about how cursed her quirk was (more, one suspects, to keep her easy to handle than because Overhaul himself believed such spiritualistic nonsense), it becomes a lot more problematic when you consider that Eri is staying at the school entirely on the understanding that Aizawa and the rest are helping her train her quirk. Absolutely no mention is given to the rest of her development as a human being and citizen of the world.

2: Largely because, “Every victim has an expiration date, and if they don’t get saved or somehow manage to save themselves before then, too bad; now they have to die,” is a monstrous read on the material and its genre.

3: Hmm. I wonder if there’s someone the heroes could ask about that. Someone they have in custody and who has something he very badly wants that it wouldn’t hurt anyone to grant him in exchange for his knowledge of the workings of Eri’s quirk. No? Oh, well. Guess everyone’s just going to have to suffer in the meantime.

4: RIP all lasting consequences of the Overhaul arc; you were nice while we had you.

[therealvinelle]

I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space. 

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. 

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe. 

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. 

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

[rishi-eel]

thinking (yet again!) about the differences between the bad batch story reels and the season seven arc and like... some changes just blow my mind because all it did, really, was make the bad batch less likable.  

lets star with the whole “reg” thing. if i remember correctly, in the originals “regs” is said twice. the first instance is by crosshair when taunting jesse in the LAAT. the second is said by hunter: he tells tech (who’s hacking into the cyber center) that he and wrecker are going to “go get the regs” (i.e. rex and jesse). that is, hunter only used it among his squad when the others were not present (much like how cody informs that the bad batch are defective clones out of earshot. these words are descriptors, but there’s also an offense associated to being referred to by them). the idea that hunter has restraint referring to regular clones this way in their faces connects, i think, to how hunter was a tad more apologetic to jesse in the original script. “he means regular clones. don’t take it personal. it’s just that we don’t always follow protocol” carried an actual sense of hunter trying to convince jesse that it’s nothing to do with him.   

it’s interesting, i think, that in a context where you have clones and defective clones, that the bad batch (as defective clones) would find a way to talk about other clones in reference to themselves in a way that normalizes their own existence. it also introduces the idea that the bad batch experience a level of disconnect, and even animosity, in regards to other clones. all that can be conveyed by only using the word twice. the season seven episodes added three more instances, and in all of them the bad batch members comfortably throw the word around the clones who “are regs.” the sense of separateness (which, again, was already established/achieved by using it just two times) is only made stronger (thus more needs to be done to portray a sense of reconciliation or coming together. the reels succeed this to an extent because that barrier wasn’t built up as high). 

so yeah in the original... wrecker didn’t say “we always get shot down when we travel with regs,” he kept quiet as he helped people out of the wrecked gunship (in fact, wrecker lost a lot of subtlety going from the reels to the final eps, which i’ll get back to). hunter didn’t fake-compliment rex with a “not bad, for a reg”! and oh boy crosshair’s comment implying that echo is worthless and expendable because he’s a “reg”... yeah that was not in the reels either. in fact, not only does crosshair not call echo a reg, the meaning of his original dialogue was completely different.

in the original, after hunter voices his suspicions echo might be dead, crosshair suggests that if alive echo could be cooperating with the enemy, making him a traitor. rex takes this as an attack on echo’s character and crosshair explains that no, he’s not intending to insult echo, by saying: “oh i don’t blame him, if i were left for dead, i wouldn’t be so loyal.” and like!!!!! that’s such a radically different line of dialogue because crosshair seems to blame rex for having left echo behind, actually. if you betrayed the republic to survive, or even out of spite, i don’t blame you even if you now present a threat to myself and my family, is such an interesting, empathetic sentiment. and that contrasts with the lack of regard given to rex, making it read like he’s condemning rex for leaving someone behind. crosshair doesn’t seem to understand, as an experimental commando clone, the pressures rex as a legion captain is under, because he’s seen a less expandable (they’re a specially trained four man team, if one dies that’s 25% of the unit gone. is there a replacement for that member? you get the idea). so you’ve got a clash between different povs, but also crosshair being shown as having a set of morals, chief among them being that you do not leave anyone behind. so remember when rex says to move out and crosshair goes “commander cody is in no position to move” yeah i’d say that’s crosshair making sure cody isn’t being left behind. when crosshair saves anakin? that’s because he saw anakin go off on his own and followed him. because you don’t leave people behind. and like... the idea that yeah crosshair is an asshole. he’s unpleasant and that’s deliberate. he doesn’t care if people like him and he’s not trying to be liked. but that he values the lives of other people and looks out for them? that makes an interesting, flawed and multifaceted character. that got lost in the dialogue change because its no longer suggested that crosshair holds these values.

as for what i said earlier about wrecker: he lost subtle, nonverbal moments through the addition of lines that are either anticlimactic or only serve to make him seem loud or ditzy in an exaggerated fashion. he didn’t laugh when the LAAT came down. he was quiet as he helped people out of the downed gunship (no comment about regs!). he didn’t say “boom” when the ship exploded in the background after he flipped it over (the difference? a character moment that’s actually cool and impressive vs something that’s corny). when wrecker comes to crosshair’s aid by picking rex off of him, there was no quippy one liner. there was no need for anything to be said for it to be understood that wrecker is acting as a barrier and it trying to intimidate rex. when he’s afraid to get onto the elevator? that’s conveyed visually through camera angles and through hunter picking up on the fact that he’s scared. he doesn’t scream (if you can call a comical “aah what is that thing oh no its going to get me” a scream) when the organic decimator almost gets him. when they walk across the pipe? wrecker doesn’t whimper or talk to himself for comfort. he is scared of heights, that’s already been established, but he’s also a grown man and a soldier like he’s keeping that to himself? like we see wrecker hesitating to walk on the ledge but doing it anyway because he has to. in a piece of dialogue that was cut, tech said “does anyone want to know the odds of us making it across alive?” to which wrecker (who’s you know already having a bad time) interrupts with “don’t even think about it, tech” (if ur curious, this exchange was replaced with: wrecker: “keep walking tech!” tech: “that’s fine, but if you fall don’t take me with you” which???? uuh weird exchange). also, the fact that wrecker was mostly dealing with his fear silently means that when hunter tells wrecker to hold on because they’re almost there... that’s because hunter knows he’s scared and is checking up on him. basically... any kind of serious moment was cheapened by having wrecker talk in them. now i don’t want to say that DBB is a bad voice actor, but his expertise is making animal noises. he’s not able to do a realistic, deep voice, meaning that whenever wrecker talks he kind of sounds like a joke. it’s fine when wrecker is actual being lighthearted and jokey, but otherwise? the emotion just does not come across as genuine, which breaks the stakes or weakens credibility.  

and god the whole plot point about the bad batch being suspicious of echo was nonexistent in the reels. the “don’t worry, echo says he’s got a plan”/”that makes me feel so much better” exchange between rex and tech is in the original, but tech’s sarcasm isn’t from doubting echo’s allegiance, it’s because they’re planning to land on admiral trench’s ship and echo having a plan (that he himself doesn’t know) doesn’t exactly soothe his anxieties. rex acts like tech’s being a big joker and playfully shoves him, telling him to get on board. which is an interesting interaction because these characters are kind of starting to bond?? as for tech and echo, they kinda become nerdy friends really quick. like when tech warns echo not to send the signal right away because he first needs to make it look like it’s coming from skako minor, echo’s like “oh yeah good thinking tech.” and when echo figures out a way to shut down all the droids at once tech is impressed and lightly shoves his shoulder. again there is none of that “oooh maybe echo’s a traitor maybe he’s with the techno union” shit. like i understand that the writers wanted to up the stakes but it falls flat because the idea of echo being a traitor isn’t credible. it does not seem like an actual risk or possibility. so all it did was make the bad batch seem like assholes, cutting away at some very nice character moments.   

ok this is a long post and you might ask yourself “but tumblr user rishi-eel, why do you care so much about the story reels, this stuff isn’t canon now” and there are a couple reasons, first, i think it managed to tell a better story overall. so the question is: why is that? because you would expect that writers reworking the plot would add improvements and not downgrades. and to be fair, the s7 episodes had a bunch of upgrades, but not when it came to the characterization of the bad batch. another thing to consider is that changes were made in the context of setting the bad batch up as future protagonists of their own spinoff series (something the original arc was not intended to do because there were no plans for a bad batch series). were the characters made flatter and more archetypal to add to marketability? was the reg/defective clone rivalry (and dichotomy, even) amplified because this separateness serves a narrative in which the bad batch are heroes and the other clones villains?  

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

Retranslation and Analysis of That Fight Scene

So firstly, I just want to say the subs are not bad and convey the general meaning very well, in a way that sounds natural in English. That being said, there's always some things that get lost in literal translation, and I really want to demonstrate how much depth the Japanese in this scene actually has for Karma and Nagisa's characters.

Basically the TLDR point here is that this fight is very much not about Korosensei. This is completely platonic, I promise I resisted making any shippy points.

Karma: Hey, Nagisa kun, aren't you getting extremely carried away?

Nagisa: Eh? (definitely surprised and bewildered)

Karma: The number one strongest assassin in Class E is Nagisa kun, isn't it? (uses yo here, which suggests confidence in the statement). Are you (very directly yourself, your own thoughts) wanting to quit assassination? Let's think about the talentless others who are desperately trying their hardest to kill him. When you put it like that, it's like a woman who 'has it' telling the ugly ones that they should honestly quit being so desperate to get a boyfriend, that kind of feeling?"

So some interesting analysis here is that Karma says "zuibun", or extremely, when the original translation is "a tad". The translation feels more natural in English, however it kind of makes me feel that Karma's trying to make more of a point. Nagisa has the right to be making suggestions and stepping up, but he's gone so far this time it's crossed a line.

I think 才能がないなり (talentless, saino ga nai nari) is also very interesting. Talent is the best translation, but if you look at the kanji very literally, there's "genius" and "ability". This specific word choice more implies that the other assassins are good, but Nagisa's just another level. Japanese grammar is confusing at best, but essentially 'nari' means become. So you take this as kind of like 'students who couldn't develop genius ability'.

The repetition of 'desperate' is also pretty interesting, linking the examples together better. It emphasises the point that they're kind of at a loss with. He also doesn't directly say attractive woman, he says "motteiru onna", which essentially means the same, but is literally "a woman who has (no object given but essentially 'it'). This more directly reflects to what he's saying about Nagisa, he HAS talent, this unspecified natural quality that makes him better than everyone else without trying.

There's also a lot more rhetorical questions in the Japanese, which got combined into single sentences in the English. The "let's think" thing is very literally what he says, like he's wanting Nagisa to actually consider his thoughts for himself.

Nagisa's original argument and intention may have been about Korosensei. Karma may be genuinely opposed to saving Korosensei. But that isn't the point of Karma's argument at all, he's making this about Nagisa because he's reached a limit with the both of them.

In order to spare you, more under the cut.

Nagisa: T-the aim wasn't... Above all, for assassination, your understanding is always better than mine

Karma: Saying that directly (take with slight pinch of salt - he could have also said "fixing your statement") is irritating. In reality, isn't it that you yourself are the most powerful, and you can't comprehend the feelings of weak humans?

Nagisa: That's wrong (also using affirmative yo here)! That's not what I said! These are my true feelings! Do you hate Korosensei? We went to see a movie together with him, didn't we have a variety of great times?!"

Karma: That's why, that octopus did his best to come and make a fun classroom every time, and didn't give up like Nagisa. Without bloodlust, this classroom wouldn't have been built. Can't you understand the effort?! It's not just your body, are you still a fresh elementary school student?

One thing to note here is that Nagisa isn't actually finishing his sentences. You can absolutely tell what he means because Japanese makes sense like that, but he's still dropping words. Or when he does say a full sentence, they're very short statements. He is desperate here, trying to prove a point he can't actually voice into words correctly.

The context here is that this is before we know their full backstory. Nagisa admired Karma, and he can't quite say it right yet. He thinks they're on different stages still, and Karma is frustrated because Nagisa doesn't see the point.

Karma, after all, does have this inhuman image of Nagisa in his head from years ago. The image of Nagisa looking like some kind of snake demon as he kills Karma in his sleep. He genuinely still, here, believes that Nagisa is purposely hiding this. That's why he keeps putting words into Nagisa's mouth. He's also cutting him off at points, not listening at all to what he's truly saying.

At the same time, Karma starts talking down to him. Instead of saying 'no' (how you'd end a sentence to a friend), he starts using 'kai', which is condescending and how you'd speak to a child. There's an argument here to be made for Karma doing this as a kind of defence mechanism too, but that's very complicated. At this point he really is just trying to get to him.

They are not arguing about killing Korosensei, not at all.

Karma: Huh?

Nagisa: *does the creepy eye thing*

Karma: Eh? What are those eyes? You with the social standing of a tiny female animal, are you defying a human?

Nagisa: I was just...

Karma: If you have a complaint, how about saying it after you win a fight for once? It's aimed at me, so come on. C'mon. C'mon. C'mon!

This is actually one of the most significant changes to the original.

This is the thing, Karma was never calling Nagisa a tiny mouse of whatever, he was just comparing him to one. Because he knows very clearly that Nagisa isn't like that. He sees that look in his eyes and it prompts him, in his frustration, to finally try and bring it out of Nagisa. He's trying to prove a point.

But then Nagisa stops himself. He lets go of his bloodlust for a moment, defaulting to Nagisa as we know and love him, literally turning his head away from Karma.

But Karma's too far gone at this point, he's dragged stuff up his past feelings about Nagisa, the ones he's been hiding for a year to be tentative friends with him, and now he can't let them go. He needs to see Nagisa's darker side plainly, no matter what that means.

It's also important that he says "it's aimed at me". I think this is a little deeper than literal. I think what he's implying here is this entire thing is somehow aimed at him, like Nagisa's trying to strip everything away just for his own perspective.

Obviously at this point Nagisa snaps and chokes him.

Nagisa internal thoughts: Even I...

Nagisa: I'm not going with half my feelings!

Karma: This guy...

This is also pretty significant. I'm surprised they cut the "even I" part because that says a lot about Nagisa's current feelings. He still doubts himself. He's aware that he's a pacifist, that he's got a lesser social standing, but Karma's put him into a position where he has to stand up for himself. And this is important to him.

Karma smiles when he says "this guy", getting ready to punch him. He feels like he's succeeded, in a way. Though at first he looked genuinely surprised Nagisa actually did it. There's a certain kind of satisfaction that finally he managed to bring Nagisa's 'true' self out.

Obviously at this point they get separated.

So what does all of this actually tell us? Well, pretty clearly here, this is just Karma's issues coming to light. But also a very helpful and useful moment for Nagisa's development as a character. Whether we agree with Karma using him as a punching bag or not, it genuinely does force Nagisa to get some self agency for once.

Karma and Nagisa will never be characters who sit around and talk honestly about their feelings. But even if they're using a whole situation to mask the fact that they very much are discussing their relationship here, it is still a significant moment where pretty much all the barriers they've been putting up against each other drop. They're just still not entirely on the same page through this scene.

Nagisa thinks Karma is just looking down on him and trying to pick a fight. He's baffled and confused as to why Karma feels so strongly against him.

Karma, on the other hand, thinks Nagisa is better than them all and is frustrated when he 'purposely' acts like he isn't. Karma still feels lied to from when they were kids. And he wants to expose it all, to get Nagisa to understand the position his skill puts him in. I honestly don't think Karma ever thought Nagisa was less than him at all, he just knew it would be an easy way to get a reaction. See how he flips tactic from "you're the best here" to "you're a tiny animal" when Nagisa just went into denial the first time?

I'm not going to go into the whole of their actual full fight, but there's some interesting points that reflect back on all of this.

Korosensei saying "your own answer is right in front of you", basically demonstrating that this entire thing really is just Karma and Nagisa

The entire point of the fight was to get one hit in with a knife, but Karma decides to just continuously beat Nagisa instead. Which yeah, is pretty ineffective. Pretty much proves again that it wasn't about just taking a victory.

Karma took Nagisa's hits on purpose, maybe it can be argued that this is trying to make things last longer, to get Nagisa to actually work for it.

Nagisa demands that he listens to what he has to say. And that's right, because Karma was cutting him off originally.

Karma is a super strategist right? And he was genuinely shocked that Nagisa didn't use his bloodlust to take him down. This is Karma. Sure, he's allowed to make mistakes. But this is odd for him. He was so caught up in his own perspective of Nagisa just having that skill that unfairly made him better. But Nagisa literally throws that skill out and beats Karma on his own level, pretty much disproving him. Maybe Nagisa has this special ability, but he's also worked just as hard as everyone else. He's trained to know what assassination means.

Beating Karma like this, on a 'human' level, was pretty much it. Karma stopped fighting back when he realised that, because he was disproven, and pretty much every wall he put up against Nagisa got literally choked out of him. Karma is already known as kind of an ass and a dirty fighter, you really think he'd worry about the others not accepting it if he stabbed Nagisa fair and square? If he cared that much about killing Korosensei, he would have just done it.

Their fight was never about Korosensei.

[goatpaste]

evil mane six you say... im listening👀

e! yeah this is like from a nearly 6+ year old AU of mine from when i originally into mlp and stuff 

lil cringe but i really wantd to update it because i liked some design/story concept from it

some of the basic world building for this AU was that the Crystal Empire never disappeared and went on to basically be the cantorlot of this universe, and ponies relied on a crystal based technology system and magic became less of a focus as crystal magic was something everyone could use.

Sombra is a good king of the empire, with a large happy family. Dear friends to the wizards of cantorlot, Celestia and Luna. Sombra also made of the elements of harmony in my AU but this is about these bad bitches

twilight in my AU was a unicorn who looked up to the wizards of Cantorlot and wished to train under their wings. she learned many powerful spells from them and the books of great unicorns.

however Twilight became obsessed after learning of the elements of harmony, an ancient relic that had gone into slumber years ago claiming it wouldnt return until it was needed. however twilight thought herself to be smarter and able to force it out of hiding so that Equestria could have a boost in magic believing it would further society to have another source of power.

Twilight had no idea what she was working with and began to work behind the backs of celestia and luna. Tuning into Lord Tireks ability to absorb magic she used it for herself to drawn out the magic of the elements. However she was rejected and the spell turned on her, turning her to a monstery figure would mind could only think of taking the elements powers.

Shining armor was there with her when it happened trying to stop her, but instead became apart of the magical rejection. Only his body was effected and he was forced to stand by and watch his sisters mind become corrupted. Now she is locked in tarturus with Shinning armor as the doors gaurds, hoping they can find a way to heal her. 

Rarity is much like her normal self, the only difference is she much more work focused and lives in the crystal empire. She was so goal oriented that she had no friends and simply went day to day working herself to the bone trying to make each dress better than the last. 

it drove her made when she began to believe her style was becoming repetitive and she simple would do anything to get out of her runt. so she left the empire and went out into the snow around the kingdom seeking out an old mine full of unique and beautiful stones. 

Little would she know she would come across a locked away evil that would take over her mind, feeding on her greed and want to be the best. she would act much as normal Sombra, taking over the crystal empire and demanding the most beautiful stones and jewelry and gowns of the people. it would be this event that would set the new elements into motion, king sombra and friends stopping rarity. (id like to thing her villian name could be oddity...)

when i originally designed these villian designs pinkie was defiantly meant to take over nightmare moons place. 

Pinkie pie’s family lives in the crystal empire, as crystal farmers. Pinkie pie herself would work at the castle as a party planner from planning the birthdays of sombras children, to grand galas to diplomatic brunches. She is close friends with Princess Ivory.

However when rarity took over Pinkie pie was held captive as a jester for rarity. some believe the close contact with a creature radiating darkness infected pinkie pie. because there was hardly any build up, just one day Pinkie pie seemed to snap. right in the middle of a party she went berserk and began to destroy everything. The royal court chose to let her off assuming she was sick or had a sugar crash, the list of what it could be was endless. Pinkie pie word return again to throw Princess Ivory’s party and nearly kill her. Pinkie pie would have no memory of what she did only to come concious and learn she was banished from the court and to ever see Ivory again. it broke Pinkie’s heart and it was a moment of weakness. her mind was clouded and she turned into a monster of a mare named ‘The Timeless Party’ and planned to party the whole planet to its core until it could party no more.

with the new found elements of harmony powers pinkie pie was saved, she hasnt returned to the castle but still gets note from Ivory despite refusing to see her out of fear of hurting her. 

Rainbow dash was a clouddale pony, she never left the city and happily worked at the weather factory and thinking of the day she would be a wonderbolt. Until the day she lost her wings, she could no longer fly like other pegasus and began to adjust to her new life. she moved to the ground and became a park ranger. she lived a happy simple life coming to enjoy the new experiences that came her way that she never thought she would thought she would enjoy.

Until a stroke of misfortune hit her, literally hit her. A bolt of lightning hit her and she swore she died, Until she  awoke and found she wasn't. instead she was covered in dark rolling clouds that she could manipulate and shape to her will. 

Rainbow dash found she could fly again and faster than ever before and with no fear of lightning or hail. the weather knelled to her. little did she know with the use of her power she brought on violent storms, floods and lightning made forest fires. Rainbow dash chose to stop her new powers until she could get them under control, but found this itch like a voice in the dark parts of her mind. telling her to let go and enjoy her powers, they were a gift after all.

it wasnt long until rainbow dash changed and seemed to no longer care about her damages. with this came the ancient unicorn, Starswirl the bearded. An old unicorn of old equestria would had frozen his aging to ensure his students could full take over for him one day. however star swirl was full of himself and could never see the bigger picture. He would freeze rainbow dash in ice and leave her in the cold mountains. 

with the story reaching tarturus shining could over hear twilight talking about starswirl and asking shining armor if he really thought rainbow dash was the villian and if starswirl choices were truly for the best. 

Fluttershy lives in ponyville outskirts but ponyville in this world is mostly underwater and a tourist town for the large spa/hotspring resort run by and supported by a colony of seaponies and sirens. 

Fluttershy barely patreons there except to quietly get a spa once a month. and leaves without a world.

she still works with animals but mostly runs a pet cemetery for animals that drowned in the local waters or potentially eaten by rouge sea creatures. Fluttershy sadly would die in her own cemetery having fallen and hit her head on a tombstone. 

however after not being found she would be reclaimed and returned to the living by the earth. believing she was given a second chance and was not one with the earth Fluttershy didn’t notice that it was darkness that brought her back.  Fluttershy didn’t question her need to send the world back to a state when animals thrived and ponies were scares.

(a villian name i had for her was Queen Pangea)

With the mostly underwater Ponyville in this AU applejack comes from a family of both seaponies and sirens. herself mostly taking after the siren side of the family. She comes from a farming family of seaweed farmers that contributes to the spa and Ponyville’s many economy source. 

Applejack’s colony would suffer a infection of darkness that effected a good chunk of the siren population including a bunch of applejacks family and herself. It started with it switching on and off were they would go into schooling frenzies and attack wildlife or other seaponies and sirens. Ponies began to speak bad of sirens believing them to be showing their true nature, which only pushed applejack over the edge. she would begin hunting the waters and destroying other seaponies livelihoods and the things the spa required, even running off guest.

Starswirl has plans to take care of the siren colony that has begun to terrorize ponyville, and shining armor questions if he really has the best choices in mind and wonders if the sirens are at all like his sister and need help. 

[pink-flame]

Promises Kept - A WFW Missing Scene

Soooo...I let it slip earlier to @mamirugbee that in my original plot outline for We Found Wonderland the scene where Luke finally wins the ring was there. I ended up not writing it because I thought that would be too much angst on top of everything else and you all would riot. But she wanted it and I love her so I wrote it. But then I got distracted with other angst on the way to that angst...so you also get the immediate aftermath of Julie leaving. Oops. It's 2 for 1 night for WFW angst! Just remember I WAS ASKED FOR THIS. Love you, Jenni. 💜

Luke held it together pretty well for approximately three days.

After watching Julie disappear right in front of his eyes, while he smiled...smiled to show her he would be ok...he had sunk to the ground, very much not ok. He had stayed there, just outside the garage doors, dizzy and sick to his stomach while the reality of the situation washed over him until finally the change in light alerted him to the fact hours had passed. He realized somewhere vaguely in the back of his mind through the haze of mental static that the rest of the guys would be home from school soon. He didn’t want them to see him like this. He didn’t want to be the one who had to tell them what had happened, didn't want to see the hurt in their eyes or even worse the sympathy. His instincts were screaming at him to run away from the situation, to escape like he had escaped his parents’ house when their smothering attention and rules became too much. The urge to grab his acoustic and walk out and never come back was strong, his fingers clenching and unclenching at his side as he turned the idea over in his mind.

In the end it was never really an option.

He couldn’t leave his friends.

He couldn’t leave his band.

He couldn’t leave his parents, not again.

And most of all he couldn’t leave the life Julie had almost sacrificed everything to make sure he got to live.

He had promised her a lot of things. That they would make things work somehow. That he would win her that dumb ring. That he would help her reconnect with her dad. That it would always be him and her, Luke and Julie, in it together against nosy bandmates, and questionable record labels, and the looming possibility of being separated by thousands of miles (back when that had seemed like as far apart as they could get).

And he had promised her that he would take care of their friends, and follow his dreams and do his best to be happy.

It turned out that the one promise he had made her that every inch of him was screaming out in protest against might be the only one he could actually keep.

So he would.

Luke unclenched his palms and placed his hands flat against the pavement outside the garage doors. He took a deep if shaky breath then pressed them into the firm surface until he managed to haul himself to his feet, his legs protesting as he forced them to move through their stiffness. He just had time to drag himself into the bathroom and splash cold water on his face before he heard the telltale sounds of his friends approaching, their boisterous voices carrying from all the way down the driveway. He emerged back into the studio, purposefully turning away from the doors in a desperate bid to buy himself a few extra seconds to compose himself before he had to explain Julie’s absence.

“And then I said if a platypus is a mammal where’s their nipples cause that’s how mammals feed their kids, right?”

“Reggie, I don’t know what made you think we want to hear this conversation…”

“Oh come on, Bobby, where’s your intellectual curiosity. Go on, Reggie.”

“Right, so then Mr. Gleeson said they don’t have nipples. They feed their babies by basically sweating milk through milk gutters.”

“Ok...I take it back, Bobby was right. I now know way more than I ever wanted to.”

“Luke, will get it. Hey, Luke! Guess what I…”

Luke turned slowly to face his friends and watched their faces fall as they took in his tight expression. Apparently his efforts to school his face into a neutral mask had failed epically. Luke realized his hands were shaking and shoved the offending appendages into his pockets hoping that would hide the effects of his runaway emotions.

That also seemed to be wishful thinking.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked bluntly, taking half a step towards Luke before stopping short when he saw the way he flinched. “Oh.”

“Luke, I’m…” Alex swallowed hard and glanced away for a moment seemingly fighting with his own emotions. “I’m so sorry.”

Reggie was the last to speak, the panic stealing over his face like a punch directly to Luke’s chest.

“Where’s Julie?”

When Luke didn’t answer right away he asked again, shaking off Alex’s attempts to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Luke, where’s Julie?”

“Home,” He answered simply, his voice steady despite the emotions still raging inside of him.

He knew what he had to do now.

He had to honor Julie the only way he could, by helping his friends be ok.

“What? No,” Reggie protested, looking back and forth between his friends as though expecting someone to tell him it was a joke. “She wouldn’t. Not without saying goodbye.”

“She didn’t have a choice,” Luke told him gently. “The portal just appeared and she...she ran out of time.”

“Ok, ok,” Reggie ran his fingers through his hair roughly, leaving pieces standing up in all directions. “We can go to the ghost club, right? We can get Willie to help us get into Caleb’s dressing room and we can go find her.”

“That’s a good way to get killed by an evil ghost,” Bobby pointed out.

“We’ll figure it out,” Reggie insisted.

“Reg...we don’t even know...we don’t know if Caleb still trusts WIllie or not. We haven’t seen him since that night.”

Luke could hear the pain in his friend’s voice and he hated it. Alex might not have had the time to develop the same deep connection with Willie that Luke had with Julie, but he knew his friend had seen flashes of that potential in their stolen moments. The fact that Willie had been missing in action since he tried to help them save Julie weighed heavily on Alex. Luke could see it. He just couldn’t do anything about it except be there for him as much as he could.

He was going to need Alex too.

He was going to need all of them.

“Reggie, even if we could do that she didn’t want us to. She didn’t want us to leave our families or our dreams or our lives here. She fought so hard for us to have them. We have to live like it’s now or never, for her.”

He managed a small, sad smile hoping it would calm Reggie’s rising agitation but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

“Don’t quote your lyrics at me, dude,” Reggie snapped, once again brushing off Alex’s attempts to put a comforting hand on his arm. “You’re supposed to be in love with her. How can you just let her go without a fight?”

Luke felt like his throat was closing up as Reggie’s words hit him like a slap in the face. He knew his friend didn’t mean it, not really. He was just hurt and scared and mourning the loss of the little sister he loved.

It didn’t make it hurt any less to have his own doubts and guilt thrown back into his face though.

Before Luke could come up with anything else to say to comfort him, Reggie reached up to wipe at his eyes and spun on his heels, stomping out of the garage and down the driveway.

Alex shot Luke a worried look before nodding after their friend.

“I’ll check on him. I’ll be right back, ok?”

Then he was gone and Luke and Bobby were alone in the garage.

Bobby was looking at Luke like he was some kind of wounded animal and Luke wished he would stop because the longer his best friend looked at him like that the more tempting it was to totally break down. And he couldn’t do that and keep his promise to Julie. So he would hold it together. He would.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re ok because that would be a stupid question,” Bobby said, crossing the garage to sink onto the couch before patting the seat next to him expectantly.

Luke hesitated for a second or two before sighing and sinking down next to Bobby, the urge to tap his foot or drum on his knee overwhelming though he fought it down. He didn’t need to give Bobby more ammunition about his mental state. Not that he needed it.

“Look, I’m going to miss her too,” Bobby cleared his throat before reaching out to pat semi-awkwardly at Luke’s knee. “And I know it’s going to be worse for you. But I’m here for you. We all are. So just...don’t run, ok?”

Luke could have laughed at that if his mouth had seemed to remember how. His friends really did know him too well. Still. He had already ruled out that course of action.

“I won’t,” He promised.

And he didn’t.

What he did do was dive headfirst into trying to make sure their lives would go on like Julie wanted. He was there waiting when Reggie processed his feelings enough to feel bad about his outburst and showed up at the garage in the middle of the night and pulled Luke into a tight hug that lasted a long time. He was there when Alex wanted to talk about feeling anxious not knowing for sure if Julie had made it back to her time and what she had found there. He was even there when Bobby admitted that he missed Julie but he missed Queenie too and he wasn’t sure that the band was ever going to be as close as they once were. Luke did his best to reassure them all, checked in on his mom, and started calling around trying to book them a gig even though they had hardly any songs they could use and none of the bookers he spoke to seemed particularly interested.

He forced himself to tell bad jokes, and offered to go get pizza and suggest busking so they could refill their food fund.

He did all of that for three days until it was like the adrenaline he had been running off of ever since Julie disappeared into a hole in the ground finally wore off. On the fourth day he knew his friends noticed that he was quieter than normal though none of them said anything, just exchanged mildly worried looks. On the fifth day he lost his appetite, picking at the leftover pizza that Bobby had warmed up for him and refusing the variety of junk food his friend then hauled out to the garage. On the sixth day he slept most of the day, drifting in and out of fitful dreams. He had only emerged for a couple of bathroom breaks and was back curled under the blanket he usually left unused when his friends showed up after school, their worried looks no longer mild.

The 7th day was a Friday but they didn’t go to school. Instead they staged what amounted to an intervention, hovering around the couch (he didn’t bother folding it out now that the possibility of Julie crawling in next to him was gone) and refused to stop staring creepily at him until he sat up with an annoyed huff.

“Don’t you have school?” He muttered, pulling the blanket more firmly around his shoulders despite the smothering heat.

“We’re not going,” Reggie said, reaching out and yanking the blanket away from Luke in on quick movement.

“Hey!” Luke protested.

“We’re worried about you,” Alex said ignoring the way Luke was suddenly looking anywhere but at his friends. “You pretended nothing was wrong and then you crashed hard.”

“You’re depressed,” Bobby said bluntly, because of course he did.

He was annoyingly accurate and to the point at all times unless he was hiding his meaning in some obscure literary quote of course.

“I’m not,” Luke tried, feeling strangely exposed without the weight of the blanket. “I miss Julie...a lot, ok? But she wanted us to live and I’m living.”

“There’s living and there’s living,” Reggie countered, dropping down next to Luke to sling an arm around his shoulder. “And Julie would want you to be living, you know what I mean?”

“We don’t expect you to be ok,” Alex broke in quickly. “Just for you to be honest about what’s going on with you. You’ve been there for us the past few days now it’s your turn.”

“I’m fine,” Luke tried one last time, though his argument sounded half-hearted even to his own ears.

“You haven’t showered in a week,” Bobby pointed out, the softness behind his eyes easing the harshness of his words as Luke forced himself to look up and meet his friend’s eyes. “Come on, rinse the smell off and then we’re taking a field trip.”

Luke groaned but forced himself to stand and cross the distance to the bathroom, his bones aching like he had spent years in bed, not hours. He hardly remembered the shower but when he reemerged some indeterminate amount of time later his hair was dripping and he admittedly smelled a lot better. He still felt a bit like he was walking through a heavy fog though, like some slight, almost undetectable force was making each one of his steps just that little bit more difficult. He thought it might not be the weight of something slowing him down at all but the absence of something. It was like he had forgotten how to do everything right without Julie next to him. Walking and eating and breathing. He knew he had done them all before he ever knew her but that didn’t make them come any more naturally now that she was gone.

Still.

He had promised her he would try.

So he let his friends steer him out of the garage, let them lead him down the sidewalk, Alex and Bobby buffeting him on either side and Reggie walking in front, chattering away and peering back every few seconds as though afraid Luke would bolt if he didn’t keep him in his sight. Luke for his part just shuffled along, grunting out a response when asked a direct question and keeping silent the rest of the time. Apparently the plan was to head to Reggie’s house. His mom would be at work and she had bought him this brand new video game console called a Playstation that the boys were all dying to try out. That newly separated parent guilt was apparently good for a few things, like letting Reggie have ice cream every night and expensive gifts. Luke was pretty sure that none of them were particularly in the mood to play video games and were putting on the enthusiasm for his sake. He appreciated it. He just couldn’t match it.

But once they were actually in Reggie’s room, crowded around the little television he got for his last birthday, Luke had to admit he did feel a little more like a human being. He even caught himself laughing as he watched Alex and Reggie squabble over the second controller as Bobby clutched his above the fray. Reggie grinned when he saw Luke’s brief smile and shoved the controller they had been fighting over into his hands.

“Here, you try!”

And he couldn’t stand to see Reggie disappointed, not when he had seen him so hurt so recently. So Luke did try. And he let himself enjoy it. And he let himself tune out and pretend that there wasn’t someone missing.

He did such a good job at pretending that it wasn’t until they had left Reggie’s house several hours later in order to keep his mom from knowing they had skipped and headed for the ice cream shop that the gaping absence all came crashing back.

Because right around the corner from the ice cream shop was the arcade.

And right inside of the arcade entrance was a claw machine.

And inside of that claw machine he could only assume there was a purple plastic ring that would now never sit on his girl’s finger.

He couldn’t explain why his feet carried him towards the arcade but they did, seemingly without any specific direction from him.

“Luke....” Alex’s worried voice called after him but he didn’t pause until he was standing directly in front of the damn game that had been haunting him for months.

And there it was. The ring. Mocking him from the exact spot it had been in all along.

Apparently his friends had caught up to him by then because when Reggie spoke up it was from directly behind him.

“You’ve got to let that thing go, man,” His friend said carefully. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Luke found himself understanding Reggie’s initial reaction to the news about Julie’s departure because all of the sudden he was angry. He wasn’t just angry, he was furious.

He brought his fists down in tandem on either side of the joystick, feeling the reverberation up his recently healed arm and had just enough time to wonder if that was the smartest idea before words were bursting out of him unbidden.

“It matters,” He said fiercely, ignoring the way Reggie flinched slightly. “It matters. She matters. She matters to me and she’s gone and I said I would give her that ring and I didn’t and now I can’t and...and...it just matters, ok? It just does.”

Alex and Reggie both stared at him, eyes wide with worry seemingly unable to land on something helpful to say as they watched him finally implode. The silence stretched and Luke was just about to kick the machine just to have something to fill the gap and give him another chance to externalize the storm brewing inside of him when Bobby stepped forward calmly.

“Here,” He said, his voice calm and even. “Go ahead.”

He held out his hand and Luke instinctively stuck his out to catch whatever Bobby was trying to hand him. He folded his fingers over the mystery object to keep it from falling to the ground, before uncurling them carefully to examine it.

It was a quarter.

Luke looked up sharply expecting to see sympathy or something worse on Bobby’s face but all he saw was that look his best friend gave him when they were disagreeing on a song or when they couldn’t agree on what toppings to order for their pizza. Or maybe more like when Luke had wanted to use those fireworks for pyrotechnics or when he had suggested a book club as a viable gig. Like he didn’t approve of what Luke was doing but also like he was going to be right there behind him, letting him know he was an idiot and then helping him anyway.

Somehow it was exactly what Luke needed.

So he didn’t say anything else, just swung to face the machine and deposited his quarter in the slot before he could think better of it.

The game came to life as he swung the joystick jerkily to the right, not letting himself think too hard about the exact aim as the claw hovered over the ring in it’s plastic container. He slammed his hand down on the button to drop it probably harder than was strictly necessary but it felt good to have an excuse to hit something. The claw dropped and clutched it’s mechanical arms around the plastic container. Luke tried not to react, afterall he had gotten this far many times before, but the weak arms always released the ring long before it could actually make it to the prize shoot. But even as that hopeless thought crossed his mind the claw was rising, taking the ring with it and this time it didn’t drop back to its former spot. This time the ring remained locked in the claw’s embrace until it tumbled down into the prize shoot leaving all four boys to stare at the machine in surprise.

“Did that just…” Alex started.

“You did it,” Reggie practically whispered, disbelief clear in his voice.

Luke for his part just stared at the claw machine that had once again gone silent and still as he tried to process what had just happened. He had been so angry a minute ago and he could never win the ring and it didn’t matter because Julie was gone...Julie was gone...but it did matter and now he had won the ring and...did he really just win the ring?

Once again it was Bobby who broke them all out of their stupor, stepping forward and reaching through the metal flap to retrieve the ring, pressing the plastic container insistently into Luke’s shaking hands.

“You did it,” He said simply but firmly.

“I did it,” Luke echoed, his voice slightly choked.

“You said you would and you did,” Bobby continued. “It’s ok, Luke. You did it.”

Luke was very aware that Bobby was talking to him like a small child and he wanted to be offended, he really did, only he felt like a small child. Like nothing made sense and all of his emotions were too big for him. He had tried for so long and so hard to win that stupid ring, had seen it as a metaphor for how he felt about Julie, how he would do anything for her, how he wanted her to know that as intrinsically as she knew her own name. He had tried so hard and it had never worked and now she was gone and the very first time he tried, the first time, and he had done it.

Luke felt tears pricking at his eyes and did his best to fight them down.

“Luke…” Reggie started, his own eyes looking suspiciously wet.

Luke couldn’t bear to hear what Reggie was going to say or to make eye contact with any of his friends when he felt on the brink of breaking into sobs. He spun to face the machine again only that didn’t seem to help. His vision went blurry and his throat went tight and the next thing he knew he was breaking down into sobs. He tried to stifle them in a fit of embarrassment but there wasn’t much point. The tsunami had started and all he could do was ride the wave and pray he was in one piece on the other side.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the claw machine, the soothing temperature doing little to slow the tears rolling down his face or the hiccuping, painful sounds that were emerging from his mouth. The ache in his chest was almost unbearable but it was matched by the sharp pain in his hand as he clutched so hard at the ring’s plastic container he was sure it would leave an angry red outline when he finally uncurled his fingers.

He loved her.

He loved her so much.

He loved her and he was never going to see her again and he won her the ring and she was never going to know it.

He was so alone.

Only he wasn’t.

Because suddenly there were warm arms wrapping around him from every direction, cheeks pressed against his shoulders and the top of his head, soft words of comfort being spoken in three different voices.

“It’s ok, Luke.”

“Let it out.”

“We’re here.”

And he did.

He had promised Julie they would do their best to be happy. He intended to keep that promise. But today all he felt was pain. And that would have to be ok too.

And it was.

And they were.

Not all at once.

Not for a long time if he was being honest.

But slowly and steadily genuine smiles, and laughter began to work their way back into their lives. They didn’t talk much about Julie at first. It hurt too much. But eventually Reggie brought up a story about her over pizza and soon they were all chiming in, recounting their favorite moments with the girl who would always live in their hearts even if she could no longer live in their world. After that they brought her up often and it hurts but it also heals.

Luke took to wearing the ring around even though it was too small for all of his fingers except his pinkie and often got stuck even then. Bobby didn't comment on the way his finger was starting to turn as purple as the ring itself, simply handed him a black cord one day for him to string it on and brushed off Luke’s rush of thankful words. After that Luke wore the ring on a cord around his neck, dangling down to thump gently against his heart as he walked, the cool plastic a constant reminder of what he lost but what he gained too.

He wasn’t living the life he would have chosen for himself but he was living the life Julie had chosen for him. He hoped the two would come together eventually. He had to have faith that they would.

Eventually he sat down to write a song for her and ended up with a poem instead.

Eventually he had the idea of sending her a message through time, a box filled with all of the things she had loved and left behind, all the ones that would fit in a small box anyway. Eventually he pried the teddy bear version of himself out of Reggie’s reluctant fingers to go inside. Eventually placed all of their carefully selected polaroids inside too.

And eventually he slid  a purple ring off of the cord he wore it on, placed it carefully back into its original container and left it for her to find with a lingering kiss pressed to its surface.

Eventually.

But first.

He lived.

Tag list: @futurearchaeologyprof @moreflowersthanweeds @chickwiththepurpleguitar

[sweeethinny]

Abstinence (M)

Summary: ''I told you, I don't know how to live without you anymore, it's like you're my drug and I'm an addict.”

"What a bad comparison." They laughed, Harry hugging her tighter. Ginny rested her head close to his collarbone, feeling entirely happy. She was so happy he was home.

"I know." Harry kissed her head. "But that's how I feel."

or

Harry and Ginny haven't had much time alone, until after being gone for three days, Harry comes back feeling abstinent from his favorite drug.

Notes: I wrote this for @blvnk-art's Smut Hinny Sundays, and hope you all like it I wasn't inspired by a specific art of hers, but by several I was also inspired by the song All The Time - Jeremih

AO3

-----

Ginny sighed as she got home, taking off her cloak and shoes, her feet tired after all those hours of practice, her arms sore too. Gwenog seemed to want to kill her now that she was back.

It was great to be back, Ginny was glad she had made that decision six months ago, but her body still wasn't used to all that burden of being a mother and playing Quidditch, and strength training was always the worst, leaving her more tired than usual and with even more pain in her arms.

At least, Ginny thought, Harry was staying at home more, which helped her not to spend all the hours she was away worrying about James and whether he was okay. The boy was staying part-time in day care - in the afternoon - and so far they hadn't had a problem with anything, James even seemed happier now that he was with other kids.

"Babe?" Ginny called, walking past their house which was silent, which was weird since James didn't seem to be a big fan of silence. But Harry didn't show up anywhere, all the lights in there were off, which Ginny assumed was because he'd already put James to sleep and was upstairs.

She was happy, thinking that maybe she could get a massage that night—or even something more.

Walking slowly up the stairs, afraid to make a noise, she arrived in front of James' room, smiling when she saw that Harry was sleeping sitting in the rocking chair, the little one lying on his arm, sleeping clutching his shirt. It was such a cute scene that Ginny thought her heart might melt, still unaccustomed, even after almost two years, to how Harry was such a lovely father.

He had become another man now that they had James, Harry was much more careful at work, and much more affectionate. Not that he hadn't gone before, but it looked like James had freed him from the fear of showing. Harry cried more easily, wasn't afraid to play and do childish things with Teddy and James, and let them teach him everything he didn't know. Like last week James had made Harry realize he needed to eat more slowly— "Swow, Daddy," James had said, and now he seemed a lot less anxious and rushed into eating.

Even more careful now not to wake her son, Ginny approached the chair, kissing Harry's forehead and shaking him slowly, just so he woke up and put James in his crib so they could go to bed together.

"Hi," Harry whispered, a faint smile on his lips. His face was a little scrunched up from the pillows, his cheeks red with heat, probably because he had lit the fireplace in the living room.

"Hi." Ginny gave him a quick peck. “Shall we go to bed?” She ran a hand over his face, pushing his hair out of his eyes and straightening his crooked glasses. He nodded, taking a deep breath and stretching his legs, looking at James who didn't move in his arms.

"He didn't want to leave me today." Harry stood up, looking worried as he laid his son on his own bed, but as always after he fell asleep, James made no sign that he was going to wake up. Little hands ran to grab the yellow blanket Hermione had given him, and Ginny covered him with the other blanket, not wanting him to be cold at night. She kissed his forehead and lifted the crib enclosure, thinking that soon that wouldn't be enough to stop James from getting out of bed.

'You were gone for three days, he missed you' Ginny reminded him, hugging Harry and resting her head on his chest, letting him drag her towards their bedroom, feeling finally at home now that he was there.

Harry had gone away to a conference in Spain, and it had been a long three lonely days where she had the bed all to herself - sometimes James would cry to stay with her through the night, seeming to realize that things weren't the same without his daddy there.

"I missed you guys too." Harry kissed her head. 'I need to take a shower.'

"Me too, Gwenog today seemed to want to kill us in practice, I even thought maybe she was punishing us for something... You know, she's crazy sometimes."

'I know. Robards was about to lose his hair at the conference, telling everyone he would go crazy if he heard one more lecture.” Harry went into their bathroom, turning on the shower and starting to undress. Ginny had missed that routine and intimacy.

She took off her clothes too, tossing them in the laundry hamper, their cold room making her skin crawl. "We have a party to go to on Saturday."

"A party?" Harry grimaced, stepping under the shower.

‘Yes, I promised we would. Sorry, there was no other way out.' She followed, re-embracing Harry and resting her head on his now bare chest, the water splashing between them, relaxing her muscles. "It's a fundraiser for an orphaned children's charity… It'll be quick, we'll stay for an hour or two, then we'll go back." She promised, giving him what she hoped was her best look. Harry sighed and nodded, tightening his arms around her, pulling their bodies closer together.

‘Okay, we will. But two hours at most.” Ginny nodded, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"I missed you so much," she whispered, lifting her hands to cup his face, pulling him into a deeper kiss, never wanting to let go. Harry squeezed her hips, letting her feel his cock that was beginning to show signs of life.

The kiss started to get hotter faster than she expected, soon Harry had picked her up and pushed her against the cold wall, squeezing her waist tighter and thrusting his tongue deeper into her mouth, as if suddenly a key had turned inside him and Harry had been as hungry as she was.

Ginny pulled at his hair, moaning into his mouth and scratching at his scalp trying to make him as crazy as he was leaving her, his teeth playing with her lip and his hands going down to her ass and squeezing.

“Fuck, I missed this.” Harry moaned as she tightened her legs around him, her wet intimacy touching his already hard cock.

They hadn't had a lot of time to get laid now that James was older, the boy seemed to have the right timing to want his parents whenever they were too close to each other, either to pee or because he was bored and hunger. Ginny had already accepted that by the weekend they would be too tired to do anything but sleep, and that getting laid would have to be for weekdays, during the morning shower, a quickie before James woke up.

"Me too." Ginny thought she might lose her mind at any moment, almost screaming when his trained fingers touched her swollen clit, throwing her head back and biting her lip to keep the noises back.

"The last few days I felt like a fucking teenager thinking about you." Harry whispered in her ear, his thick voice making her moan. “Thinking of you on top of me, below, on the side, on all fours…” He continued, biting the sensitive skin of her neck. "As much as I love getting laid in the shower, I miss a bed."

"Yes, shit, Harry yes." Ginny would agree to flee this planet right now if he continued to touch her like that.

She didn't pay much attention to the next few minutes between him turning off the shower, applying a basic dry spell on their bodies, and walking into their bedroom, waking up only when Harry threw her onto the bed, looking like a hungry animal climbing on top of her, his mouth traveling all over her body, sucking and biting the inside of her thighs until it reached the top and licked her clit. All the tension from practice, the daily worries, everything, was gone when his mouth touched her there and did all those wonders to her.

Ginny still remembered the first time Harry had done that to her, that hot, muggy summer after the war, one sunny afternoon when Harry had taken her to her room, all nervous and anxious, saying he wanted to try something new. It was good, confusing, but good. But now, Merlin, now it was perfect. There were no toys that came close to what he did, all that erotic dance with his tongue, taking her to the peak and making her enjoy the delicious fall more and more.

Her throat went dry, her scream scratching as Harry sucked on her clit, his arms holding Ginny firmly in place, preventing her from moving any further.

She saw stars, can't wait any longer, thighs trembling as she began to come, trying not to scream too loudly so that nothing could stand in the way of them both.

"I feel like a new man," Harry said, wiping his beard and moving up to be level with her face, a naughty grin plastered across his face. "Making you come is the best thing in the world." He kissed her, but Ginny was still too much in the clouds to reciprocate in a very excited way, her body looking like jelly on the bed.

"I wish I could suck you back babe, but I miss you inside of me." Ginny muttered, biting his lower lip and moving down to kiss his jaw and neck.

'I don't care too much about it, I want to be inside you too soon' Harry moaned as she spun them around, taking advantage of the fact that he was too focused on her mouth on his neck, and Ginny snuggled into his lap, jerking him a little to buy time for herr body to be ready again. “Fuck, you're going to kill me.” His green eyes darkened, rolling in their sockets.

"Don't die before you fuck me." Ginny chuckled as he moaned once more, her hand tightening a little more at the base of his dick as Harry liked, already sensing she was almost ready.

"No, not in a million years." He arched his back, biting his lip and seeming to try hard not to get carried away before they even started. "I feel like an abstinence junkie."

"I'm glad my pussy has that effect on you." She blinked at him who admired her as if Ginny were a Goddess. She felt so desired when he looked at her like that.

She couldn't take it anymore, she lifted her hips, adjusting to take him inside her, moaning in satisfaction at the feel of Harry opening her, needing to lean against his chest so she wouldn't fall once she was fully seated. That was one of her favorite positions, he touched her in that delicious spot that made Ginny lose consciousness and be taken by fire.

"Fuck." Harry squeezed her hips to keep her from moving, closing his eyes as if in pain, his back arching on the bed. 'Fuck, you feel so good.' Ginny tensed her muscles as she'd learned in that magazine she read in her gynecologist's office, and Harry seemed to lose whatever sanity was left in him, moaning loudly and still clenching his hands, almost to the point of hurting her.

"Like it?" she asked, a satisfied smirk on her face, even though it had taken her out of her orbit as well. Harry nodded, finally letting her move.

"So good," he muttered, finally opening his eyes and staring at her, the green iris making her blush. His hands moved from her hips to her breasts, pinching and massaging her sensitive nipples, and Ginny nearly lost her rhythm and fell on top of Harry with the teasing.

Neither of them could say much more, Ginny quickened her movement, interspersed with the contractions that made her and Harry moan and lose their minds more and more, each time feeling closer to coming again. His trained hands roamed her body, to her nipples, and then to her sensitive clit, playing just enough to make her feel pleasure and not pain.

Ginny thought she would go crazy if she didn't come soon.

Harry looked the same, because suddenly he couldn't wait any longer, squeezing her hips and lifting his, rushing his thrusts and fucking her as if it made him come alive. She didn't care too much, because she felt the same way.

It wasn't long before they both came, Ginny bent down and captured Harry's lips before he made too much noise and woke James, kissing him to keep himself sane, her nails firmly on his shoulders as that electric shock took over her body, the ripples making her lose control.

"I love you," she whispered, feeling Harry pull out of her and his cum trickle out. They would deal with that mess in a little while, Ginny needed to breathe first.

"Me too." Harry looked the same mess as her, body sweaty and arms trembling, he smiled at her. ‘I'm glad to be home again, not having you to sleep at night is unbearable.’

"Just to sleep?" Ginny joked, looking at him like he was still that 16 year old boy she was madly in love with, feeling a lot of new things and not being able to go to sleep without smiling.

'For everything. I told you, I don't know how to live without you anymore, it's like you're my drug and I'm an addict.”

"What a bad comparison." They laughed, Harry hugging her tighter. Ginny rested her head close to his collarbone, feeling entirely happy. She was so happy he was home.

"I know." Harry kissed her head. "But that's how I feel."