#also making it your whole identity is kind of sad

[il-predestinato]

just curious but why are you not a Daniel fan? like what urks you about him?

Absolutely everything about him irks me. His existence, mainly.

I do think we need to bring back the underrated concept that sometimes there are celebrities/athletes that we 1) do not like, 2) will never like, and 3) that's completely okay.

[uygfiug]

hiii just wanted to say i hope your illness isnt treating you too badly and you feel better soon <33

thank you <33333 im feeling a bit better :) i have to go back to school tomorrow though :( which i am not at all looking forward to but if i want to stay home longer id need a doctors note and idk if im sick enough to go to the doctor for a note for one day yknow

[pankiebogs]

ii16 spoilers under cut

(Analysis of what the episode implies/means for Fan more specifically)

HELLO. SO. I kind of predicted this.

These are specifically about Fan glitching in episode 14, and about PEOPLE OVERLOOKING IT!!! I always KNEW there was something more to it.

Fan glitching is both similar to Springy's glitching, but also the Shield and Tree Mephone made. So automatically I thought, Mephone generated Fan. He can generate things! But, I honestly did not expect this to be true. It felt too easy. (so i instead went with; when mephone regenerates the contestants they are "built" out of his code, so close at least....?) But. Well. You saw the episode. And I am a sucker for these tropes and I have been incredibly interested in what this means for Fan specifically, considering he was made SPECIFICALLY to be a fan of Inanimate Insanity.

Here's me talking about the idea about a month ago:

As we all know, Fan's entire character is that he's a fan. That's the number 1 obvious thing. He was another "stereotype" as labeled by Mephone along with the other season 2 newbies. For almost every character it has been repeated that they are "more than what they are", which makes even more sense with the reveal. However, with this knowledge... What the Flip does this mean for Fan.

His entire arc has always been about his identity problems, and his extreme attachment to his identity as the #1 fan, which he STILL latches onto and puts so much of his confidence in. Almost like that... IS his purpose. Is everything he's ever known. All he had. But that was not only an emotional thing, he was quite literally created just to be the biggest Inanimate Insanity fan. That's his ACTUAL purpose. WHICH IS NOW MAKING ME CRAZY.

With this in mind, you realize how Fan being created is actually hidden in his arc. The writing doesn't make you consider the possibility, because the arc and personality work so well to hide it. This is shown most well once the prime shimmer asks him what he is beyond the show, to which he hesitates to respond to, saying he doesn't know. This whole scene is now in a completely new perspective to me. He ACTUALLY doesn't know. His identity literally IS built around the show, that's what he was made to be. That's all he's ever been.

I had mentioned Fan having parallels to Bot.

Something along the lines of this. Your identity being One Thing but then realizing you can be more than that, that's the main parallel here. WHICH- IS EVEN MORE INSANE CONSIDERING THIS EPISODE NOW. Fan was ALSO made with a purpose to be ONE thing, Fan (and Test Tube) was quite literally repeating the same thing Mephone did- the same thing that happened to them, but even more so with Fan specifically.

The one thing I keep thinking about is how Inanimate Insanity is still a big part of Fan's life. That's still something he loves so much and ties to his identity even with his development of trying new things. How would he react when he realizes he's forever tied to the show he was made to love? That he's forever attached to Inanimate Insanity, no matter what?? HE WAS MADE BY MEPHONE, THE HOST OF HIS FAVOURITE SHOW THAT HIS ENTIRE EXISTANCE IS FOR?? THAT HIS LOVE IS GENERATED? Compared to other contestants, Fan is... even more stuck in the show. He literally surrounds himself with it even when outside of it. Honestly was Mephone projecting when he created Fan or something???

Fan describing him being eliminated as literally dying is kind of even more tragic now. sad!

His whole reality would be shattered if he found out. I don't think he'd have time to think: "wow I'm actually EXISTING for Inanimate Insanity and that actually IS my purpose? and I AM truly the number 1 fan because that's what my entire identity actually IS built on????" While that would validate him and help his insecurities, Fan would be. Well. When your entire person is created to be passionate and dedicated to the thing you were created FOR and you even made prior appearances JUST to serve as the fanbase and nothing more. I don't even know dude. He'd be in so much denial over it. He'd start to question the sincerity of his love, or, something. At least he's made with the things he loves: creative passion. Which he was also made to love . but whatever,

You'd probably think he'd at some point try to separate even more from Inanimate Insanity. Honestly I think the opposite. after his initial denial i believe he'd latch onto it even HARDER. I think he'd just start regressing to old coping mechanisms to deal with it.

The fact he was created FOR the purpose of being ONLY THE FAN Also makes me realize something about him and Test Tube. On one of his tumblr posts he mentions how Test Tube introduced him to so many new things and ideas he had no idea he could be so excited about, because he's always been just tied to Inanimate Insanity and nothing beyond that, as he felt there was nothing else to care about. Test Tube offers the support of opportunities, even as early as when they first met, and especially in Hatching the Plan once she made him realize there was more out there.

It just makes me go completely insane how most of Fan's arc is so built on the fact his entire existence is to serve as a fan, and that wasn't even just an emotional thing or whatever he quite literally felt like he was nothing but a fan. I need to sit down. or draw art inspired by this cause good god. Hey fan you're basically made from technology the thing you really love! haahaa... at least that love comes from a real place right? I mean. In short. Fan is just... made out of what he loves.

[mintmatcha]

Inevitable Things: chapter five

Aizawa x reader fic

cw: cisfem reader, no quirks, office au, miscommunications, slow burn. full tags available on AO3 (linked in masterlist)

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Fridays are the only day you carve out time for lunch. Less than coincidentally, Fridays are also the only day lunch is catered.

“Here-” Izuku jams his bowl of take out into Katsuki’s face. “Does it smell like there’s peanuts in here?”

Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku’s fiance, is only half as ornery as he looks. A premature wrinkle has formed in between his brows, a sign of his almost constant annoyance. His straw colored hair is a sharp contrast to his deep red eyes, currently narrowed in disgust.

“Get this shit out of my fucking face,” he groans. “I’m not a fucking allergy alert dog-- I can’t smell peanuts.”

“To be fair-” Ochako interjects through a mouthful. She’s the opposite of Katsuki: dark hair, round eyes, a smile so sweet that it makes your teeth hurt. Her cheeks are always flushed, spots of broken blood vessels spattered like freckles. “Peanuts do have a smell.”

“Did you ask him to smell for penis?” Denki says, too loud to be genuine. “Kind of homophobic to ask a gay guy that.”

Both men give him identical deadpan stares.

“That’s just his fucking country-ass accent.” Katsuki brushes Denki off and turns back to the curly haired man. “Why would chicken have peanuts in it anyway?”

“The o’l.” Izuku stresses.

“The what?”

“Some places use peanut o’l.”

“Say oil.”

Izuku sneers a bit in return, smoothing out the curves of his accent. “Oy-I’ll.”

“Jesus christ, I’m marrying a hick.” Katsuki leans back in his chair and meets your eye with a jerk of his chin. “Can you believe this?”

You snap back into focus. Your own lunch is untouched, fork still in its little plastic wrapper. Hunger nips at your stomach, but nausea wins over today. The cafeteria isn’t very busy, but in the next couple minutes everyone will start pouring in. The lot of you arrived early to get the best seating-- a little couch and coffee table in the corner, a perfect place to eat and people watch.

“Oh, yeah, uh- Izuku, they have an allergen free option.”

“Well, yeah, but-” He tilts his head as he talks, watching you with those wide, green eyes, like he sees something just below the surface. “It doesn't have chicken-- are you good?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” Katsuki fingers a piece of Izuku’s food and pops it into his mouth, much to the man’s dismay. “You’ve been making that sad little face all day.”

You pout a bit harder at that. Shit-- you thought you were being subtle. You haven’t been able to walk this whole Aizawa thing off yet, despite all of your attempts. No amount of emails, meetings, and other petty office bullshit managed to distract you from the absolute shock and humiliation of… whatever that was.

Embarrassment.

Embarrassment? You’re certainly not the prettiest girl in the office, but embarrassing? That makes your gums ache, like a punch to the nose, and it makes you feel dirty, like the fall to the ground afterwards.

“You’re doing it again.” Ochako points to your face and it’s apparently sadness. “What’s going on?”

You hem a bit, before condensing it the best you can.

“I’m having issues with a guy.” What an understatement.

A collective glance is shared between the group.

“Touya again?”

Again, Touya haunts a room he’s never been in. You debate what to say. If you admit to it being someone new, they might start sniffing around and jump to conclusions-- though Aizawa would certainly be the last assumption they would make, you still can’t risk it. Besides, you don’t need a gaggle of 23 year olds dissecting your every move. They’re going to jump to some stupid conclusion, like you’re dating Toshinori, if you aren’t careful.

“Yeah, it’s Touya,” you lie, as sheepishly as you can. “Oops.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ.” Katsuki rolls his eyes so hard that you imagine his brain must hurt. “Again?”

“Shh, just tell us what happened,” Izuku urges, elbowing his partner rather sharply.

“I don't know where I stand with him. It's so-- Ugh, I thought things were going to start going well and then it was just ice cold.” You press your palms into your eyes and sigh. The pressure feels good and helps with the remnants of your hangover. You need an electrolyte drink, stat. Maybe another fucking drink too. “And I’m not even sure why I’m surprised because it’s ice cold a lot.”

When you look up, Ochako is offering a hand, palm up and open. When you take it, she giggles a bit, squeezing gently.

“I think you need to prioritize yourself.”

Denki nods in agreement, cheeks stuffed with food. He’s finished his meal and started stabbing bits of yours. You just push the whole bowl towards him in defeat and slump down into the couch.

“Stop giving men who treat you poorly the time of day.” Ochako says. “When you let them in again and again, you’re basically, like, giving them permission to do this stuff.”

“Yeah!” Denki says through a mouthful. “Cut that fucker off! Don’t even talk to him!”

“Oh, I dunno--” You glance between them. “I think that’d be mean.”

Conflict makes your head spin. It’s so much easier to roll over and take whatever people give you, negative or otherwise. It’s what made your relationship with Touya work-- and it’s what’s allowed you to stay in this job for so long.

“Good!” Denki says. “He deserves it.”

“You deserve to be a little mean and a little angry when people treat you poorly.” She smiles again, wider this time. “Grow some balls. Stand up for yourself.”

“Yeah! Balls!” Denki agrees.

You suck on your bottom lip and turn the idea over in your head. Are you even angry at Aizawa? Or just hurt and confused? Right now, those things may as well be the same thing-- they certainly burn the same in your chest. Cruelty isn’t your usual indulgence…

But it’s someone else’s.

“What do you think?” You turn to Katsuki, who’s been scrolling through twitter for a bit now. His face doesn’t change when he speaks, locked into a general annoyance.

“I think you should kill that fucker.”

You turn to Izuku, the rational one of the couple. He shrugs, straw in mouth and completely unamused.

“Oh, I also think you should kill him,” he says, tone matching Katsuki’s.

Not helpful.

“Listen--” Katsuki leans forward, elbows on his spread knees. He uses a fork to articulate as he speaks. “I’m the expert on being a cunt-”

“-we don’t use that word!” Ochako grimaces.

“And it’s the most freeing and addictive thing you can be.” The tongs of the fork point directly towards you, as sharp as his gaze. “More people should be cunts more often. The world would be a happier place.”

Ochako gasps. “I don’t agree with that at all!”

“Oh please, miss goody-goody,” Katsuki sneers. “You wouldn't need to go to kickboxing five times a week if you let your anger out day to day like a normal motherfucker.”

The girl of the group puffs out her cheeks, but does not argue back. Izuku pats her shoulder affectionately. His food is still untouched, but his free hand guards it from Denki.

“I'm telling you. Try it out. You’ll like it.” Katsuki leans back into his seat. “Or don't. Your life.”

“Question-” The other blonde pipes up. “Did you, like, do something?”

“Kaminari!”

“I mean, like, was there a catalyst?” “A fight or a date or-?”

You know exactly what drives Touya away everytime, but Aizawa is a new beast. Did you breathe wrong or--

“Oh, I uh,” A realization hits you. “I ignored a couple texts, I guess.”

Suddenly, you’re very aware of the outline of your phone and how it presses into your pocket. If there wasn’t a chance of you flashing the group pictures of their boss, you’d check it immediately, but you can’t mentally handle the risk.

“What an overreaction,” Ochako sighs. “Dump him forever and move on-- Mr. Hizashi and his wife-”

“We aren’t like that.” Ugh. You love Hizashi, but the trio relationship isn’t your speed. “Besides, I don’t like blondes.”

The two toe-heads of the group roll their eyes in a practiced synchrony. Ochako’s smile changes a little bit, something tighter and brighter; is she excited that you aren’t interested? Interesting and a bit gross: she’s too young for that. They’re more than ten years older than her-

(How old is Aizawa? He went to school with Hizashi, so he’s at least 38-- but you could have sworn there were whispers of his fortieth last year. You’ll have to snoop.)

“We’re in agreement. Be a cunt, move on. The end.” Katsuki turns away from you, done with this topic. “Izuku, just fucking eat it already.”

The boy takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his curly hair. “Well, alright, but if I get hives, you’re the one who has to deal with me.”

…

Be mean.

You’re written it on a sticky note and placed it under your computer monitor, like some sort of fucked up mantra. The mere idea of it feels antithetical to who you are at your core; you enjoy helping people, you love making the world better. That’s why you work like a dog for the company-- you know it’s improving the lives of its customers. If Toshinori wasn’t sick, you know he’d be doing even more too.

On the other hand, being nice has led to your own detriment many times. Touya has hurt you, your parents, and now even Aizawa. And you can’t even blame Aizawa, can you? Texting him was your mistake--

You rest your forehead against your desk. There’s still a sticky spot from when you spilled your coffee yesterday. God, yesterday feels so close and yet so far away. How does a man yoyo between yelling at you, sending you his weiner, then telling you that you’re embarrassing? The idea of ‘always wanted you’ goes flying out the window.

Just as you try and put yourself to work, you hear it. The familiar lopsided stomp. Fuck, it’s him, probably looking for his afternoon coffee. He’s been by much less than usual, a fact you’re very grateful for, so you haven’t even thought about the pot since before lunch. You glance over and see it’s empty. Crap.

As you start to get up, the sticky note catches your eye again. Be mean. That’s right. Why are you popping out of your chair for this, this, this--- total fucking cunt? Your chair squeaks with the force you sit down with. You try to embody Katsuki with your face - furrowing your brow and yet keeping your mouth unaffected-- and your worst nightmare turns the corner.

You keep typing and hope Aizawa doesn't notice that it's the same words over and over again, hit in the same rhythm. P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l. He waits a long moment, then clears his throat louder. You don't gift him your attention until he grumbles something under his breath, shifting his weight on to his other leg. Just as he begins to say something, you interject.

“I had more important things to focus on,” you lie. “You can figure out how to brew coffee, Mr.// Engineer.”

You throw in that last bit without thinking, but the bite rolls so easily off of your tongue. It’s nothing like your usual tone, but it feels so, so right. From the corner of your vision you can see his literally reel back, blinking hard,

“That’s how it’s going to be?”

You don’t respond. P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l. Your fingers shake from the adrenaline boost. Ochako was right; don't even give this man the time of day.

“It's going to be like that?” He yanks the pot from its stand. “Fine.”

You have to muster all of willpower not to grin as he starts slamming open the drawers and scrounging around for supplies. It takes a whole ten minutes before he presses brew, then another five before the pot is almost half full. The whole time he grumbles to himself, leaning his whole weight against the flimsy table.

This is good. Too good. The vindictive rush of power feels almost sexual in the way it satisfies. Teeth dig into your lip as you hold back a smile even harder.

Embarrassment? You'll show him what embarrassment really means.

Finally, he pours himself a cup. He doesn't fill his thermos nearly as much as he normally does, most likely trying to leave as quickly as possible. Just as he starts to turn, you get up out of your chair and walk over. You take one of the little disposable cups from the stack and take your time adding three sugars and two cream, each one at a time, as he lurks there. Then, you pour the coffee, thick and oddly gritty into your cup. You finally meet his eye when you take a swig.

Aizawa’s face is set hard, small eyes narrowed even tighter. His lips are screwed up with annoyance, wrinkling his low bridged nose. Pissed would be an understatement. Just as you brace for another yelling match, he turns away, marching down the hall.

“Enjoy the fucking coffee.”

Oh, Katsuki was right. Being mean tastes good.

….This coffee, however, does not.

[rose-pearls]

Percy Jackson (series) Masterlist

Welcome to my Percy Jackson Masterlist, requests are open and if you want to have a look at other fandoms you can go right here: Main Masterlist

Luke Castellan

Oneshot:

Early Morning

A secret early morning rendez-vous is crashed by a sleepy Percy.

The perils of love

Being in love with Luke seemed to be a bad idea as you realise that he doesn't seem to be interested. But as you get ready to move on from love entirely your father decides to appear and two people fall for you.

Requests:

Jealous Luke

A Luke x reader where the reader makes Luke jealous

Clarisse La Rue

Oneshot:

Healing one cut at a time

Clarisse first goes to the med bay because she is forced by one of her siblings but the following times are just to see the daughter of Apollo again.

The perils of love

Being in love with Luke seemed to be a bad idea as you realise that he doesn't seem to be interested. But as you get ready to move on from love entirely your father decides to appear and two people fall for you.

Prompts:

Snow on the beach

Cuddling with Clarisse

Requests:

Pride over love

Could I request something for Clarisse x reader? Where reader and Clarisse are cuddling after clarisse get a nightmare and are in a secret relationship. Then the next day word get's out that clarisse was cuddling with someone because of that clarisse breaks up with reader because she doesn't wanna ruin her reputation. You can decided what happens after that! Thank you so much and take your time!

Sweet but deadly

Could request something for clarisse x reader? Where reader is daughter of persphone and she’s sweet and kind but also strong and intimidating and can stand for herself and that’s what clarisse likes abt her

Dare

Basically Clarisse gets dared to get reader to fall in love with her, eventually clarisse wins the dare and get's the money but has caught feeings and doesn't want reader to find out it's all been a bet. someone informs reader of the bet. They fight and break it off. Causing clarisse to get super sad and act ooc. At the end Clarisse finds reader during capture the flag or something and they talk it out.

The daughter of revenge

Clarisse x reader. Where R is daughter of Nemesis? Normally being very quiet and "calm", and, as she is the daughter of the Goddess of Revenge, she helps to take revenge on those who hurt Clarisse, even in games of capture the flag, in a discreet way and they almost never find out it was her. In addition to being extremely good at chess and strategies as well.

Married life

Can I request a clarisse fan fic where she asks you to marry her and what it’s like when you guys are married

Nightmares

Where she get's with reader and her father ends up telling her she's weak in her dream. The next day she trains until she passes out and reader finds her and nurses her back to health. Then just some good ol hurt and comfort!

Stupid crush

Clarisse has a crush on reader but she ends up hurting the reader in previous interactions. It isn't until a game of capture the flag that she is able to explain it all.

Soft Love

Could your possibly write a Clarisse x Hephaestus’s Nb kid reader. Like we’ll make/repair weapons for her, and we weld her flowers with nuts and bolts and cute stuff like that!!

Tragic Love

Clarisse fanfic where the reader is the daughter of Poseidon and there like absolutely in love with eachother like soulmates but then the reader dies during the war and clarisse can’t handle it and dies too like Romeo and Juliet

Mental health

Clarisse x daughter of Athena fic where (tw: sh) the reader has some control issues/is a bit of a control freak and sh to feel in control and clarisse finds out and helps her find some healthier coping mechanisms - Warning: Self-Harm

Percy Jackson

One shots:

Lost without you

As Luke's sister you had only seen the best in him but as the identity of the lightning thief comes to light your whole world breaks down. (Brother!Luke & Sister!reader, Percy Jackson x reader)

[ozzy-boy]

Hii! Volks, Scale and Cole's reaction (separately) if someone calls their s/o ugly?

Volks:

-Volks doesn't do social media. He doesn't have any and he doesn't look at it either.

-He finds the whole thing kind of ridiculous anyway- why would you care what strangers online have to say? You show him cute videos of dogs sometimes though, so he figures it can't all be bad.

-When Volks notices that you're a little downtrodden, he doesn't suspect that social media would be the cause.

-You brush him off and say that it's stupid when he asks what's wrong, which immediately rubs him the wrong way.

-He's your boyfriend- he doesn't care if it's stupid, if something is bothering you, he wants to know.

-If you keep trying to avoid it he'll end up putting his forehead against yours and staring into your eyes until you say it.

-You eventually give in and admit that someone called you ugly under one of the new pictures you posted.

-Normally Volks would probably agree that it's stupid to be upset over a stranger's opinion, but that kind of thing doesn't bother him. You're more sensitive than he is though. (unbothered king)

-He assures you it isn't true and is extra sweet for a while to make you feel better. He also goes on your phone later and deletes any comments that aren't compliments (even if it takes him a while to figure out how bc he's an old man with technology 💀)

Scale:

-Scale isn't huge on social media either, but he makes accounts so he can like your posts and so you can send him things.

-Honestly if he didn't have the whole 'assassin secret identity' thing going on, he'd probably post stuff about his workout routine. He's fine just sending those videos to you, though ;)

-He likes to go to your insta and look at your pictures when he's having a rough day with training, just as a little pick-me-up.

-Though, today he notices a comment under your most recent post.

-Immediately confused. ("Huh?")

-Refreshing the page constantly, as if expecting it to be a mistake. ("Who?")

-You? Ugly??? ("What?????")

-Genuinely dumbfounded. He's never heard something so ridiculous in his life.

-You're equally confused a few hours later when you log on and see your boyfriend getting in an online slapfight with a random person under your post.

-It's very endearing that Scale is so willing to go to bat and defend you but you're gonna have to give him a lesson in online safety and teach him how to block people that make him angry and move on -_-

Cole:

-Cole is your number 1 fan he has all your accounts on notification. He is your first like on every post.

-He kind of hates that your pictures are online for anyone to see but he deals with it. He has his own collection of pictures to admire but he often refreshes your pages to see what you're up to.

-While you're out together one day you decide to take a quick photo and post it since you're feeling cute.

-It's not until a while later that Cole watches you check your phone, only for a sad look to pass over your features. He quickly investigates, and finds a bubbling anger rising in his chest when he finds that someone's insulted you.

-'I have to kill this guy right fucking now-'

-'No, no, calm down Cole. You need to keep your cool in front of Marshmallow.'

-'Wait a second, they look sad. I'm going to kill-'

-Cole does a few deep breathing exercises, gets his head on straight and repeatedly tells himself that he can't run off to track down an internet stranger while you're sad.

-"My darling, have I told you how wonderful you look today...?"

-He spends the next several hours spoiling and complimenting as much as you'll allow.

-After all, you need no one else but him.

[mizz-sea-nymph]

Attention: if you are not @hebemina then I advise you don’t respond to this cause just by that you’ll embarrass yourself by proving my points and being literal proof.

Id like to say that me and her where friends but during the time we where friends she had her weird moments and her alright moments especially when we first met, it wasn’t her acting like the adult it was me, funnily enough I started referring to her as a sister cause that’s what I do when I worry about how a person views me, it was clear I was uncomfortable and got my friend who remember the first encounter and how I reacted to this ask a while back, hell I even asked them how to respond to the ask cause I was in such a panic. When looking at it, I’m genuinely disgusted how she didn’t even apologise or better herself, everyone keeps saying she’s better but she isn’t and it’s really sad how harmful it is especially to the people she spoke with that she made uncomfortable.

(She was drunk and I was mortified and didn’t even know how to respond so I danced around it I’ll admit that but thing is she didn’t even apologize)

Now it’s hard to show this from the past cause of personal stuff but since some people already know about it I guess I just gotta grow some balls. I’m showing this from the past cause I came across it a while ago and got disgusted, I was a child and I was mortified so much so I asked my friends how to respond to it and was so ashamed and embarssed I thought I deleted this but luckily didn’t cause one can realize how horrid this is. What’s funny is a DECENT AND SENSITIVE AND CARING PERSON would apologise! You never apologized Mina! and this wasn’t the first time you got weird with me! Seriously! Atleast have the decency to say sorry! But not just this you’ve many times turned our platonic and happy convos to something straight up weird, I ended up deleting many on my blog cause of unlike you I feel embarrassed!

I went through a hard year and having someone like this disturb me online was the icing on the cake but of course I was too embarssed and scared to say anything about it cause I feared I’d be yelled at, by your followers, yeah allot of you made me not even want to stand up for myself and say “what you are doing is rubbing me the wrong way” despite her knowing my age, and despite me reminding her constantly at that time I kept saying “haha I’m in high school”. So to the people reading this, dont make her seem like she Dosent know the age of her followers cause she lurks, she lurks around even accounts she has now ignored just cause said acount has a different opinion then her.

Thought I didn’t notice? I easily noticed how you and @hanaiikiki or whatever TF her name is now stopped talking to me as a whole and started ignoring my existence, even when I was geniunely trying to be nice etc, you stopped when I voiced my opinion about Loki, Hana going as far as telling people she Dosent know me (girl I got ears everywhere, when I heard this I was shocked cause I thought we where good!) despite me clearly stating as a continuation I don’t care what anyone likes and Dosent like it’s the VICTIM BLAMING, that’s wrong and also rly weird. So I don’t understand why both of you would let a fictional character come between a nice mutual friendship, especially you Hana I geniunely liked talking to you I liked talking mythology and liked sending you asks, you where really nice and kind with me and didn’t weird me out like Mina but it’s clear you have no self identity what so ever. But of course, no worries! I have no need for you! I know who my people are and aren’t and you aren’t one of em that’s for sure. As for Mina, yeesh girl yeesh that’s all I got when it comes to this, cause again no self respect self shame or friendship is magic in this case, but then again you’re no use of me either so I’ll say I’m glad you don’t speak to me anymore cause you creeped me out many times :)

just cause someone hides behind a cute kind persona dose not always mean that’s what they are on the inside dishonesty is sm. I’m honestly so dissapointed so many here defend her and say she’s changed instead of her saying she has, let her speak for herself if she’s so much so as the adult she claims to be.Let her speak cause I’m amazed how everyone walks eggshells around her cause she’s “sensitive” that is a insult to sensitive people as a whole.

I’m not going to mention who cause I want them to rest easy cause they are dear to me and what they experienced today breaks my heart they’re so sweet and didn’t deserve any of this, but when Mina apologized to them, Mina used the excuse of “I didn’t know you where a minor” despite her MENTONING THEIR AGE! Everyone knows people that know what they’re doing use that excuse, they lie, they will always go with this excuse, don’t get offended and stop reading now Mina I ain’t calling you a pedo, I’m calling you a dumbass, a real big dumbass as a whole for that shit apology and excuse. A victim of harassment Dosent deserve this, and a “sorry” dose not make up for the trauma the victim suffered let alone this type of “sorry”.

(I’m covering the name cause I rly feel bad for who experienced this and believe the poor thing has experienced enough today of all days like good god I don’t even want anyone to comfort me I’m fine! Just show some support and love to this victim cause good god)

there’s a line with senstivity and irresponsibility, and if it weren’t for me sending a respectful i REPEAT a respectful I’m a respectful person that’s how my mama raised me, anon ask saying you shouldn’t interact with minors much cause they’re easy to influenced and they see what you post easily etc etc, the useless “minors do not interact” wouldn’t be there. Oh and it’s hilarious how you have it there and still interact with said minors? Sweetie? It’s not there for show! Lotus? Heldril? Goddamm new comers? Children copy and children get affected! And you’ve clearly traumatized and affected a bunch! If you’re a so called elderly care giver you should know how to care for others that aren’t just you, make it make sense!

Oh and let’s not leave this out the cake. It’s funny how you talk about masturbating in public and how you vent in public, letting literally people who are younger than you be your therapist, or witness you sexting IN PUBLIC keep it in the dms woman! have so shame! This isn’t red lobster you embarrassing yourself! I ain’t slut shaming you cause I’m the queen of sluts, I’ve been called a slut for years and I didn’t even know about it so don’t think I’m slut shaming you. But really How wonderful really! A nurse! Who gose through the struggle of whipping elderly asses for a living! Doesn’t go to a therapist and relays on people decades younger than her! Get a damm therapist! Be ashamed! Seriously take some responsibility!

Not to mention I still remember how people expressed geniune concern for you and you milked it and said “see you on the other side” who says that! I was one of those people! I actually worried? But I woke up and realized what the fuck is this? Are you serious??? Some of these people who are worried for you are younger by years?? Some even minors?! Get a grip??! Where’s the responsibility?? It’d be better to write about your horny thoughts on a blog strictly for NSFW! I deadass told you to in the anon ask cause you need to be responsible! And dont you dare post a “im sorry 🥺” post! I know your type and I know them well! Just by that post where you explained yourself about the whole issue of you saying you want to make out with a minor, says allot. You didn’t address the issue! You just said it’s okay to hate you! You didn’t even defend yourself! Well for one Mina, I don’t hate you, I just hate the way you act,behave and your personality as a whole because that “sorry” will never cut the anxiety and horrible memory as a whole, be ashamed a bit, it’s not funny to make everything sexual and as a adult you should understand that.

What you did to those mods and roleplayers? I’m still speechless and have Vietnam flashbacks when it comes to the public sexting good god, atleast as if it’s okay to do NSFW and sent a literal pic of you bust? I know dirty I’m the QUEEN of dirty that hand on your top pulling the shirt a little lower shocked me so much my eyebrows left to Saturn and had a baby with the planet! I’ve got eyebrow planet grandkids now that’s how shocked I was. Not to mention the mod was 19 you are literally a decade older girl- tf is this lore Olympus? I know you like lore Olympus but girl lore Olympus is lowkey shit no offence. Honestly no wonder the mod stopped roleplaying and deleted the acounts cause good god girl- atleast have the decency to ask?

It’s really funny! Just a big joke really!

I for one was a friend with yo!u until I realized your true colors, I’m disappointed and consider this pathetic. I used to think you were nice and kind but I was met with dissapointment you genuinely disappointed me, hurt me and not only me but many others, don’t beat yourself about it just accept the fact that you did and just remove yourself from said minors and ACTUALLY BE RESPONSIBLE, before you hurt even more people.

As for the ones reading this,

You all know me and I’m pretty sure this is shocking seeing me a person here on tumblr call out the so called sweet Mina but honestly, people! nobodies perfect! Are you kidding me?? Get it through your skulls! She isn’t perfect and I’m not saying to hate her I’m saying to stop treating her like a child! when actual children here are being harmed! I’ve seen minors on here who deadass have been affected by her! And nobody I say nobody! don’t you dare say she didn’t know what she was doing that’s a insult to the victims and disgusting in general.

Also it’s not the ror fandom that’s changing, this has nothing to do with ror, to anyone reading this know this, it’s the Mina fandom that’s changing, not the ror fandom I’ve been in the ror community long before her and if sm was changing I’d know.

I’m deadass saying this despite me being a decade younger then Mina, I’m not saying this as a friend, not as a friend cause I don’t see you as that anymore and will never will ever again, im saying this as a person who’s going to be honest with you,

Keep it real

Enough of this self cantered,narcissistic ,immature, shameful,irresponsible and selfish behavior, you should be able to expect opinions like this, stop hiding behind your followers and say what you have in mind Mina and DONT dance around the issue, I read your “apology” post when the Heldirl issue raised to light, you didn’t even talk about the issue in hand, you just said it’s okay to hate you! Three paragraphs!! don’t dance around this, and you know what, Don’t even respond if you plan on doing that, cause that just proves the point.

Just know I don’t respect you not just cause of you being weird in the past with me but also with others specifically others I care about, so don’t come crying to me cause I geniunely don’t care I know these types of etiquettes, a sorry will never cut shit like I said so call me a cruel bitch idc ig it’s fair 🤷🏻‍♀️ just know I DONT respect you one bit,good day.

Tagging

@amphitriteswife @tinyy-tea-cup @mono-supports-palestine @praisethesuuun @riseofamoonycake @brokensenseofhumor @monstertreden @heldril @lotusmybeloved @nicasdreamer @ idk

idk who tf else to tag aaaa 💀 but yeah that’s my take on all of this respect me hate me I don’t care I rather be hated for who tf I am then who I pretend to be and who I am is a person to keeps it real 🤨

[zarasu]

What I think about Bingge

So, funny story: I did not start out liking Bingge. I doubt most people do. The first thoughts I had about him were "Damn, boy's fucked up" and "Who starts ripping off limbs without even asking questions first?" He seemed more like the final boss of a horror game than a fleshed-out character.

Then I finished the book and went "Ehh do I wanna read the extras?" Tbh, I skimmed a lot of them but the Bingge vs Bingmei one was one of the few I fully read, just because the premise sounded interesting.

And it was interesting alright, to see Bingge do something else than torturing people and ripping off arms. But none of it really made my brain light up until that little scene where Bingge watches Shen Qingqiu fuss over Bingmei. Then he asks him to come with him, to choose him, and Shen Qingqiu says no. Bingge returns to his own world, sad and alone.

"Well, sucks to be you," I thought, and "lol, I sure hope that doesn't awaken anything in me."

...

Two weeks later, I found myself lying in bed, thinking about Bingge with a single tear rolling down my cheek.

I really shouldn't be sad for him, I told myself. He has a big harem full of hot women to tell him how great he is all day. If he's not happy, then it's really his own fault.

But what if he's more the monogamous type, my heart wailed back. Or what if he's too fucked up to let anyone love him??

Ugh, alright, I gave in. Let's think about him then.

So, Bingge is a power fantasy made for incels. But even Bingge was Bunhe once. He shares a past with Bingmei and they are, at their core, the same person. And if you can say one thing about Bunhe, it's that he really has an undying hopeful streak. Sure, when Shen Yuan transmigrated, it took him a while to gain Bunhe's trust. But even after all the beatings and insults and humiliation, he did gain it.

Bunhe gave him his trust because he desperately wants Shen Qingqiu to love him. And, if not love him, at least like him. And if not that, then at least not hate him. When Shen Qingqiu actually showed notions of doing just that, loving him, he was all over that like a dog getting a treat and a head pat for the first time in his life.

But Bingge never got that. He hoped and hoped and kept hoping for Shen Qingqiu to show even a hint of affection and all he got in return was the firm assurance that, no, Shen Qingqiu would never feel anything but hate for him.

That has to give a guy issues. Probably makes him feel deeply unlovable. Hate himself, even. Binghe is a little dumb about things like these, he likely didn't give up hope until Shen Qingqiu physically pushed him into the abyss. He probably spent a lot of nights in the abyss crying into his dirty little sleeves.

But you gotta find ways to cope with heartbreak, right? So, eventually, lightly charred Bunhe stood up straight, turned his little determined protagonist eyes up to the sky and said: "I'm going to make him regret it! He will rue the day he cast me away!" And he went on to become stallion protagonist #1, demon emperor, conqueror, etc etc.

The thing is this: if you build your whole identity on the idea of making the guy who hates you regret his feelings, you're not really over him, you get what I'm saying? You're like, the opposite of over him. Not a good emotional state to connect to the hot women throwing themselves at you either.

So yeah, after that, Bingge did all kinds of things that aren't really that important, but eventually, he got Shen Qingqiu where he wanted him: in the water prison (also kneeling at his feet). And I'm sure I have an inkling of what went on in his dumb little head. It may have been something like:

"Aha!! Now I have the evil Shizun in prison, where evil men like him belong! Finally, people have told him how evil he is! I'm going to go and talk to him and make him see the error of his ways. And when the horror of what he did finally dawns on him, and he apologises, I might forgive him and give him another chance."

Shen Jiu being Shen Jiu, he probably laughed right in Binghe's face and also spit at him too, for good measure (as is, in this case, kinda relatable). So Binghe's righteous little plan didn't quite work out as he wanted it to. This procedure might have been repeated a few times but, well.

Binghe's emotions are already volatile on a good day. Add Xin Mo to that. Add childhood trauma and Shen Jiu to that. One time, he snaps and reaches out to rough Sqq up a little, just to make him regret his own behaviour. Underestimating his own strength, he rips off his arm instead.

Awkward situation, that.

What are you supposed to do after ripping off someone's arm? Maybe Binghe just went to bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his life choices.

See, at this point, another person might have thought: "My life is going in the wrong direction. I need to change something, maybe go on a journey of self-discovery or something."

But Binghe has never been the best at things like morals and ethics, no matter what version of him we're talking about. Even Bingmei, who had a comparatively more stable home life, never really got the hang of that stuff (Turning some people into lifeless husks? Well, better than fucking someone, right? The man you love apparently just isn't as insane about you as you are about him? Time to destroy the world^^)

Anyway, you gotta go on, and I'm sure Binghe found some convincing enough arguments for why ripping arms off was an acceptable thing to do.

"But Zar," you may interrupt me. "How can anyone think that's an acceptable thing to do?"

See, in all honesty? I think, deep inside, Binghe knows it's not. But right next to that knowledge lies another knowledge: it's that he's unlovable. And if he's unlovable, it can only be because, at his core, he's already rotten. And if you're already evil? You might as well do evil things, doesn't make much of a difference anymore.

So things escalate, surely not helped by Xin Mo. Shen Qingqiu loses limbs with the same speed other people lose socks, and when even that doesn't heal him of his evil ways, Binghe comes up with the whole Yue Qingyuan plot. And when even that doesn't help, he loses his patience and kills everyone.

Then he sits there, on his throne, surrounded by hot women, fully charred, not so little anymore, and without a Shizun he can hope to one day convince of his worth.

There sits Shen Yuan, a world away, growing increasingly frustrated at how purposeless Bingge's life has become.

Then the extra happens, and Bingge gets transported to a world where another Binghe got everything he ever wanted: the love of his Shizun. And, all at once, the hope he thought he had killed and buried flares back to life, never having been dead after all, and burns Binghe up until he's nothing more than the bare bones of his desperation.

But the other Shizun doesn't love him. He only loves the other, inferior Binghe. He looks upon Bingge coldly before he sees his husband and his eyes turn warm. And it's like Bingge is looking at a funhouse mirror, at a world of dreams and wishes that never came true.

In the end, he's still as unlovable as he has ever been. And he goes back to his own world, and he feels flayed with the knowledge of everything he will never have.

And I just think it's impressive how Shen Qingqiu manages to break every version of Binghe without even trying.

[shuttershocky]

Thinking back on Bandai Namco saying that Samurai Remnant was originally conceptualized as a Soulslike, and the non-zero chance that some kind of follow-up game goes in that direction, I’m curious to hear your thoughts about what kind of setting you’d want out of a game like that, since they probably can’t do the Edo period again. I thought something in the late Heian era with Yoshitsune and Shizuka would be neat, considering how little of them we’ve actually seen in the wider Fate universe.

If you're going to do a Soulslike, I don't think you go with Servants since you're restricted from building multiple ways (Servants are all about having strong identities after all) and generally you're not going to be wandering around lost as hell.

As much as I would have preferred Samurai Remnant to not be a musou, I can clearly understand why it wasn't a Soulslike instead when an important part of it is revealing Iori's true self, which is expressed through his sword techniques inherited from Musashi. You also wouldn't have all the Rogue servants being playable, which would be a no-go for a Fate title.

That being said, Koei Tecmo's idea of a soulslike is faster and more combo-based than Fromsoft's, so you don't necessarily need to start with an underpowered character like Iori vs servants.

Anyway, if you want a protagonist that is often wandering the unknown, quickly masters multiple weapons, is talented in both the arcane and martial arts, is able to take powers/skills from bosses, dies and resurrects each time, and often slays monstrous creatures both terrifying to witness and sad to watch (due to clearly only being shades of their former glory), just make a Soulslike game starring Ciel.

Set it between 2002-2014, when Ciel is first released from the Church's experiments and is tasked with becoming their immortal vampire hunter. She has raw magical power rivaled by few and a weapon in Seven that transforms between multiple forms meaning you can do whatever the hell you want, and her whole shtick is dying and coming back over and over and over again until her target is dead (and the Remake even lets her take their powers).

Think about it. Shiki vs Vlov in the Arcueid route practically turns into a tribute to Ludwig halfway through, from Vlov remembering himself, progressing from rampaging beast into a honorable knight as Shiki starts pressuring him, to Vlov even having his own My Guiding Moonlight moment when he refuses to use his emergency blood and chooses to die as a man instead. A Tsukihime setting would fit the Soulslike format way more than a Fate one would /biased

[twosoulss77]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed to have a favourite ship, canon or not, out of a particular show.

Shipping is just a way for artist and what not to explore different dynamics, or even their own. That’s why I believe we should let people enjoy what they like, without forcing our own image of a certain spectrum into them. Especially cause shaming those people, for trying to explore their identity through art, might cause actual harm to them or cause them to not enjoy doing what they like anymore, bc of hateful comments from someone who hides behind a fake identity to hate on a fictional ship, which in itself it’s a very sad and pathetic way to live, but just cause your life is miserable doesn’t mean you need to make others people’s life miserable you know. Go touch Grass when you feel like being a dick!!!

As an AroAce fellow with no desire for a sexual relationship, I applaud and adore all those people making content of my fav husbands, let it be a fics smut or just normal fluff, I love it all SO MUCH Hazbin Hotel ep 5 changed my whole chemistry, and Say what you will about radioapple / appleradio, but I will always be entertained by the idea of Lucifer angrily doing acts of kindness for Alastor because it's what ‘Charlie would want’, and Alastor being a stupid ‘Bambi’ and try to wiggle himself out of it at the beginning, but then realise that he actually doesn’t mind the king of hell company at all. Both slowly growing to actually tolerate and maybe even like being around the other. Exchanging snarky remarks in a more playful way, playing music together, telling dad jokes, hating on the same delusions glorified iPad …like there is so much potential there that it’s crazy how much it pisses people off. It might be cause I am a sucker for Enemies to Friends to Lovers, but by God if that isn’t the best trope.

I know there will be some smart people out there, that are gonna be like “Alastor is ace”, but so are half the people who ship him!!! I hate when people make assumption on us, on who and how we want to love. I might not be interested in participating in sexual stuff myself, but that doesn’t stop me to explore my own ace-spectrum with these two characters, who if they wanted to could and would kiss each other, Cause for one I says so, I have the power to make that happen *insert hysterical laugh* And second It was confirmed that Alastor is a repulsed Ace, but would also be down to date someone if they were strong asf, (Confirmed in a stream, take that with a grain of salt) still makes this ship more possible than others.

Al being Aroace, doesn't mean he can't date or have sex, he's just not all that interested in it, but that could also derive from the fact that he hasn’t found the right person yet, so it doesn’t feel important to him yet. (fun fact aromantic wasn't the part of my struggle accepting that I was aroace it was actually accepting I was ace bc of my hyper sexual tendencies)

Also Alastor being aro just makes radioapple infinitely more funny to me, or any relationship with him for that matter. He is just this 7 feet tall demon with zero interest in romance, but always managing to find himself having beef with someone, possibly a guy, and act like he is either about to kiss or kill him XD

I really needed to get this off my chest and I absolutely mean every thing I said in here. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but you'll be surprised to see how much happier you will be when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.

Thanks for listening 😊💜

[ftmtftm]

This is just thought spaghetti but I was just talking to my gf about this because I was thinking about a post I saw the other day about how queer people, especially fem (not femme!) queer people, seem to struggle with imagining a world in which queer masculinity is just as complex and rich as their own queer femininity and I'm just thinking about all of the potential reasons why that is.

Like, first and foremost there's absolutely a layer of self-centeredness. Human beings in general like to think we personally are the most complicated being in existence especially when we've been met with isolation and guess what people have been doing a lot of the last 3 years! The less experiences outside of your own you come across the less likely you are to imagine they exist in ways as nuanced as your own existence.

Secondly, lesbian separatism and radical feminist ideology (specfically radfem ideology, not feminist theory as a whole) seeping into our general discourse has really killed some people's ability to view the humanity of anyone who is even adjacent to masculinity or manhood. Like, I've begun dipping my toes into some lesbian separatist and radfem readings because I think it's important to understand the things you argue against through their own lense of understanding themselves and once you kind of know what to look for - it's fucking everywhere and hurting not just trans men/trans mascs, but also butches as a whole and other masculine queer men (Think about the disgust so many people vocalize towards people like bears and leather daddies just because they exist in a masculine state).

Thirdly it just feels like there's this idea that's like "I don't experience this therefore how could what you experience ever be as deep as what I experience?" and that's.... Such a sad way of living your life. People are so complex to imagine your own experiences as the center of someone else's world is asinine. If you're that cut off from understanding someone else's experience with their own self expression and understanding of themself, how cut off are you from learning about other aspects of people's lives? Are you open to listening to conversations about the complexities of racial identity, even the nasty bits that might make you uncomfortable? Do you listen to conversations from people of marginalized religions outside of your own beliefs and take those beliefs seriously and meet them with an open mind? Are you even ever exposed to people whose existence is different from yours and doesn't impact your life in any capacity beyond the fact that you are different? Can you imagine them complexly? I don't know if you can!

[olderthannetfic]

You're right about f/f ships and fandom not being a place where you can expect the fanworks to reflect people's lived identities, and it makes me sad when I see young lesbians try to make that clubhouse atmosphere happen. It's not anyone's fault for craving this kind of community or wanting to know who they're engaging with and what identities they have in common (though obviously it's this same desire that led to the cis male anon writing f/f to be treated horribly). IMO, lesbians are better off seeking real-life connection in a space that's smaller and has different demographics, where they won't be talked over by the more numerous male-partnered bi/queer/wlw/sapphic cis women, many of whom insist that being stably partnered with a cishet man makes you instantly more oppressed (which has a radfem flavor on its own). Tumblr also has a massive TERF infestation the company won't address, which makes the community dangerous in all kinds of ways, especially for trans lesbians as a whole and isolated young cis lesbians at risk of radicalization.

Anyway, fiction taste isn't the best place to build this kind of kinship.

--

Or, if people want to do it about fandomy things... maybe a discord server with a dozen of your likeminded friends?

Less is more when it comes to clubhouses.

[viscari-a]

Lee Hakhyun my boi Q-Q

major spoilers for orv novel and side story 5! (760s)

I’m not fully up to date on the side stories but I’m a major chunk of the way in (the Zodiac Ball arc). Im someone who always finds myself rooting for the side/mob characters that appear for 2 chapters and never again. And Lee Hakhyun, with all his compassion, his regrets, his failures, his concerns, his insecurities, feels so uniquely human and relatable in a way that not even Kim Dokja had felt. ORV I started because of the premise and story telling and I got attached to the characters along the way. Lee Hakhyun…I got attached a few chapters in Anyway, the crazy thing is that I’m kind of mourning Lee Hakhyun more and more as the story pass. He’s still alive!!! And I’m grieving for him!!! He’s changed over time and maybe it’s character development, or confidence, but it feels more like the loss of an identity. Especially because in the current arc I’m on and the ones before it, he takes on Kim Dokja’s identity again and again, over and over and over. And at first, it’s so apparent what the differences are!! It’s really amazing, and full props to the author for being able to distinguish and write their characters so well. It’s also because of this that I feel like Lee Hakhyun is becoming Kim Dokja, and if so, that’s so…sad. Not in a bad way or anything fully negative. Change is inevitable, change happens. It’s not always bad, but thinking of what was is always…sad. (Also all of this is fully intentionally on the author’s part I believe, LOL). If it an identity change, it’s one thats almost coerced onto him, and that makes it sadder. The company calls him Kim Dokja and want him to be Kim Dokja, his current group calls him Kim Dokja because of context, his stories are telling him to be Kim Dokja. In truth, in one of the earlier chapters, I was so relieved and happy when the cast shared their true names and our MC said ‘Lee Hakhyun.” He wanted a new identity, and he got it; he has lived a whole life full of successes and failures that are entirely his own. But in the end, it’s cyclical. He was a person (kdj), but just a part, such that people appreciate but are not satisfied. He is an author compelled to write someone else’s story, such that readers admire that story but not his writing. (An author who got popular off a work that you wrote but that isnt your own, how scary is that?? As a writer, that sounds terrifying) He is himself, trying to be whole, but is made to be someone who he didn’t/doesnt want to be (49%), and the more he is made to play that role, the more his boundaries get lost. Lee Hakhyun, the more the story goes on, the more I can’t tell what actions/thoughts are yours, perhaps made with more confidence, and what actions/thoughts are Kim Dokja, whether acting as him or slowly becoming him. I want the story to have a happy ending, but is that even possible, with my perceptions of it? What would it entail? Can he be two different people at the same time? He has people around him to remind him who he is as Lee Hakhyun, but the knowledge that they’re all fragments of Kim Dokja add a level of instability and mind fuckery that makes it less reassuring than it should be. How much has he changed from the 560s to the 760s? Is it character development, or character transition? What is the core of his identity, considering everything? Lee Hakhyun of the beginning is someone I’ll remember fondly for how human he is, and I’ll have to do some rereads to define him more concretely, but I’ll miss him, if he’s not there anymore In context of this post and the whole story, honestly rip our MC for constantly being in an identity limbo and rip me because I didn’t expect the side story to include so much existential crisis. Regardless, i really truly hope he’s happy and content and confident in/by the end

[welcometololaland]

almost uploaded a picture of my bank statement instead of this header! happy days!

thanks for the tags @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @rmd-writes

@nancygillianmvp @terramous @tellmegoodbye @freneticfloetry @beautifulhigh

@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and @strandnreyes (don't think that was a real tag but i'm taking it anyway to force you to love me).

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49 (last time it was 46 but i feel like that isn't enough of a difference? disappointed in myself dfhskjh)

2. What's your Ao3 bodycount word count?

1,119,086 which does include some co-writes, but I also have around 200k of unposted WIP in my google docs so i'm counting it (including a fully written fic - someone put their hands around my neck and force me to edit it PLEASE).

3. Which fandoms do you write for?

red white and royal blue, 911 lone star, top gun maverick (flirting with winter's orbit always)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

the order of these has changed but not the identity:

Speak for Yourself (RWRB) (you know when eminem said he'd never be able to top My Name Is? this is my version of that)

Fifty First Dates (RWRB) (oodie agenda reigns supreme)

The RIng-In (Lone Star) (otherwise, lone star is in danger of being eviscerated from this top 5 lmao)

(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB) (NDAs are hot, apparently)

Cursed is a State of Mind (RWRB) (cursed caffeine is the main drawcard let's not lie)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try my absolute best to. i am currently really behind and i apologise for that (the problem is, i reply to comments before i post anything and i haven't posted anything in ages).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

serious answer - Contaminated

my answer - oh baby i'm a fool for you because we never find out if they actually watch twilight and that's a damn shame

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally everything else - i don't really do open endings or sad endings! in the words of the great philosopher, skepta: "nah, that's not me."

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i used to, but i haven't in ages! thank god for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, although i have to say i've been moving away from pwp lately. i feel my best smut is written into longer fics where the sex serves a plot or characterisation purpose within the frame of the overarching narrative.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yes, a RWRB/LS but i never finished it. ALTA is a veronica mars inspired tarlos fic which kind of feels like a crossover at times.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Phonography (Lone Star) has been translated, as has Baby, Make Your Move (Lone Star) and Warm Whispers (Lone Star). I'm very grateful to the incredible people who have made these translations happen - you are so talented.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yes, many with @dustratcentral. I also wrote a chapter of a co-written fic with a whole bunch of incredible RWRB authors called never the same twice.

@rmd-writes and I have created (Un)Professional Services and (upcoming) Call Me (By Your Name).

The Rainbow Fish was co-written with @strandnreyes.

I love co-writing so much and I am always open to anyone who wants to give it a go!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

me + my unposted wips.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the aforementioned crossover which was apparently also my answer last time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm allergic to giving myself compliments but i would say maybe dialogue/banter and worldbuilding.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short. also, exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

kinda scared to because i don't speak any other languages and i'm so hesitant to annoy my very talented multi-lingual friends with my annoying questions.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

we don't talk about that.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

probably still Love Game because the experience was just so amazing and i never wanted to stop writing it.

heaps of people have already done this so leaving an open tag and also a couple of suggestions under the cut but apologies if you've already participated or been tagged 7 million times:

@bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @indomitable-love @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@tailoredshirt @vineofroses @liminalmemories21 @mikibwrites @birdclowns

@ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @rosedavid @sanjuwrites

@alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @marjansmarwani @dumbpeachjuice @doublel27

@lemonlyman-dotcom @blueink3 @ambiguouspenny @clottedcreamfudge @emmalostinwonderland

@sail-not-drift @inexplicablymine @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise @reyesstrand

@goodways @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @sunshinestrand @sherryvalli

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Strawberry Bracket: Bracket Finals

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Nanami Kiryuu

She's the mean girl of the show, and a pretty interesting take on the "bitchy vain school rival of the protagonist" trope. She spends most of her early screentime being a bully and most of her later screentime being both the biggest loser imaginable and deeply sad/troubled (which still does not erase how much of an asshole she can be). She even laughs like your stereotypical mean rich girl. Nanami has so many problems and sucks so so bad. I adore her.

Shes a psychotic bully who seeks to ruin the lives and reputations of any girl who gets more of her brothers attention than she does. Reasons Nanami Kiryuu deserves to win: - she has made many attempts at physical and psychological terrorism against Anthy Himemiya (including a plotted wardrobe malfunction at a crowded social gathering) simply for drawing more of her brother's attention than her - tried to fill Anthy's bedroom with wild animals (a snail, a snake, and a live octopus) to make her out to be a freak only to find that her room was already full of wild animals - she bankrolled an elementary schoolers crush on her to turn him into her personal boyservant - briefly non-personed a member of her bully entourage for sharing an umbrella with her brother - received a luxury cowbell due to a shipping error and smugly wore it to school for weeks flaunting it like high coture - when her bully entourage rebelled against her due to her brothers manipulation she brought them back in line by just straight up beating the shit out of all of them - all in all just a petty, goonish motherfucker (she also does the ohohohohoho anime girl laugh)

she's blond: despite being Japanese her hair is yellow, unlike her brother's. yellow is even her image color. she's a jerk: introduced as a jealous and dishonest scheming bully, she is one of the more outwardly antagonistic characters in a cast where pretty much everyone is a Real Piece Of Work she's the best: the quintessential ohoho-laughing ojou, her fully-realized character arc makes people both laugh and cry even her sidekick is a blond jerk! how many blond jerks have their own blond jerk sidekick?

i don't know what you've heard but she's NOT the kind of girl who lays eggs!

The token mean rich girl of the franchise. Does the classic "ohohoho" laugh. Doesn't like either of our main characters. She never actually seems to get her way, and secretly has a lot of her own problems. also she lays eggs and turns into a cow

Absolutely THE quintessential anime mean girl. I mean literally her laughing is THE meme for the hohohoho anime laugh. Needs attention So Badly and straight up bullies anyone she deems a threat to that (so basically Everyone). I haven’t finished RGU but apparently she duels with the intent to kill and drowned a kitten once because it was taking up too much of her brother’s attention? Also she’s 13 which explains a lot

Char Aznable

He's extremely blonde and he's a total asshole. he has had a gay thing with 2 people and tried to kill both of them. he makes a new identity and its arguably more blonde and more of an asshole. look up Quattro Bajeena

Snooty little motherfucker supreme. "I have never betrayed anyone in my life" says man who spent his whole career lying to people. He's in love with his rival and he won't admit it. He's my silly rabbit. He is the "I came here to laugh at you" guy

Char is an environmental terrorist who dropped space colonies of people living in space onto earth so people would leave earth for the earth to heal from human damage. He's a prince that should have been assassinated seducing the new prince while undercover to kill the family that killed his family. Anyway vote for Char. He stole the name Char from some other guy from space Texas who he caused the death of

Excuse me that's not char aznable that's quattro bajeena, why would you ever confuse the two :/

[uptoolateart]

Hey, hey, hey - time for a Gabriel analysis!

So. After we learned that Gabriel Agreste wasn't his original name, my mind jumped to Andre Bourgeois, who also once had a different name. In keeping with the themes of the show, we are seeing that secret identities don't always come with masks and comic book names.

We had a hint of Gabriel's secret past in Psycomedian, when Harry visited and alluded to his Gabi days. How, oh how could the Gabriel Agreste we all know have ever been friends with someone like Harry Clown? This is only possible if he was once a different sort of person.

We had further clues in Gabriel's vision of the past, in the time burrow in Evolution - and in Emilie's video messages left for Nathalie, and the photographs of Gabriel, Emilie and Nathalie on some expedition, seen in Passion - and in Amelie's accusation that Gabriel has changed, in Emotion.

Adrien is also aware his father has changed with time, demonstrated when he tells Gabriel that Emilie once said they came from different backgrounds.

The photos shown in Revelation finally gave concrete evidence that Gabriel used to have an adventurous spirit and he used to smile. He was fun...but something changed...and I don't think it was just Emilie's death that caused the personality shift. Based on casual comments Adrien has made throughout the series, his father has been strange for years.

Gabriel tells Adrien that he and Kagami are 'of the same design' - and we know he means this literally. But taking it as a metaphor...for two seasons I've wondered what Emilie's parents were like. We can infer that she comes from a wealthy, 'important' family. Maybe Gabriel struggled to fit in and win the approval of his in-laws. Maybe he never felt good enough. When he tells Adrien things like, 'You're clinging to Marinette because her mediocrity lets you shine more,' perhaps someone once talked like that about him. With that kind of background, it would be unsurprising that he decided to try to forge a new identity.

And let's remember that Gabriel is a designer. His whole empire is founded on inventing personae. Even beyond the sentimonster aspect, he tells Marinette that he designed the image the world holds of his son. Everything is his invention. That speech in Pretension proved just how deep his God complex runs - he fully believes he has made the world in his image. Even the episode title - Pretension - smacks of the image he is presenting to the world in lieu of truth.

At this point, what we're seeing is a 'new money' stereotype - a self-made man who now spurns those who remind him of where he came from. It's one of the most shameful things about him. No matter how much fame and money you get...you can't forget your roots, people. Maybe that's easy for me to say because I'm not rich or famous. But I just can't imagine turning my back on my own origin story. It's what makes you who you are. Gabriel clearly didn't want to be that person anymore...and that's sad.

What's also fascinating is that, if we zoom in on those pictures Nathalie took in Revelation, we see that once upon a time, Gabriel - Gabi Grassette - was a punk. Let's take a moment to appreciate the spiked hair, makeup, leather jacket, ripped jeans, and dog collar - not to mention that smirk. And far from being ashamed of his work with Harry Clown as a human frites (who, by the way, reminds me so much of Mr Banana), he was smiling about it. Man, he loved it. Contrast that with Gabriel in Party Crasher - 'JOY.... What's going on in my HOUSE!?'

If it were at all possible for the old Gabi to meet Cat Noir, I can imagine him loving Cat's costume. On that note, I can't help but compare that dog collar with Cat's bell. I've said before that I see the bell as a symbol of Cat being domesticated and under control. Gabi probably saw his dog collar more as a rebellion, but maybe it too is a symbol of how he once felt controlled by someone.

The thing is...the punk movement was all about anti-establishment anti-authoritarianism. Today, Gabriel is the establishment he once rebelled against. It makes me think of John Lydon of the Sex Pistols turning Conservative and advertising butter. Musicians like Donovan - not a punk, but in a similar category, as a 1960s hippie - are rare for maintaining that same spirit all through their lives.

Gabriel is a 'sell-out'. He gave up that spirit and became someone unrecognisable. Those photos demonstrate that Emilie isn't the only body buried in a 'basement' in the Agreste mansion. There is a different person buried under the cold veneer that is Gabriel - a person Nathalie probably misses. I expect that's why she's stuck with him all this time, despite her better instincts. Something tells me Gabi would've made a better father.

The irony is that Adrien's moments of rebellion are probably one of the few things he has in common with his father, if we look far enough back in Gabriel's past. That, and their temper - and randomly breaking into eccentric dance and song. Gabi might have appreciated Adrien more for standing true to his principles. Maybe Adrien sometimes reminds Gabriel of himself and he can't stand it - can't stand thinking of what he's lost along the way.

I believe Gabriel exists in a perpetual state of regret. Part of him probably misses Gabi, too. After all, Gabi got Emilie. What has Gabriel got? Wealth, sure, but Emilie's dead, Adrien all but hates him, Nathalie's wasting away, and Gabriel himself has only weeks to live.

If you think about it, Gabriel's whole quest has been about getting a do-over. He wants a second chance with Emilie - a second chance for Nathalie - a second chance at his own life. He then tells Adrien that his greatest wish is to try to reconnect with him...because he knows he doesn't have much time left with his son. Even then, though, his selfishness prevails. (Psst, Gabi...you can't make up for years of terrible parenting with banana pancakes.)

Thinking of the snake miraculous, the second chance lets you know what's going to happen, enabling you to make better decisions the next time around. In other words: it's about learning from your mistakes. Gabriel never learns, and it is his refusal to accept destiny and his own human fallibility that is causing his disintegration.

The more Gabriel necrotises, the more we can see this as his 'sins' catching up with him. He doesn't seem to grasp that all the blackness devouring him is, in a way, the blackness of his own heart. Even if he erases the whole world, he can't erase his deeds. If he managed to get his Wish and bring Emilie back, she would be horrified. She'd wonder where her Gabi went.

Gabriel is proof that 'evolution' isn't always positive. He reinvented himself once, and now, because it didn't go the way he wanted, he's trying to reinvent things again. Tomoe also hints at a belief that the solution to her problems is to make the world anew - to get a second chance. Felix tries this, too, when he creates the red moon to wipe out all people except his select group.

But Felix does learn - Ladybug helps him see that even if you erase all the people causing you so much grief...you still have to deal with that pain. What Gabriel fails to see is that - like Cat Blanc on the roof, all alone without his lady - destroying your witnesses won't remove the witness in your own heart.

Even if Gabriel wiped everyone else's memory of his crimes, he would still know what he'd done. And when you cross those kinds of lines, you can never go back to who you once were.

Please no post-Revelation spoilers in the comments :)