#also may i remind you all how people reacted to view bc they did NOT like it lmao

[acebytaemin]

if everyone’s making such a big deal out of hard ‘not sounding like shinee’ imagine how people of today would’ve reacted to ring ding dong LMAO

[demonicheadcanons]

Obey Me Undateables / Side Dishes and Little Affections

AN: The last post for the brothers was ridiculously popular and this was requested so! Here we go. Just little ways the undateables are affectionate to the MC. Romance-coded but not for Luke bc he’s baby. I did this on mobile so forgive me for any formatting issues, and for the lack of a read more!

As you may have seen, I struggled a lot with Solomon because I really view him as being indifferent. I’m sorry if his is a little underwhelming! I also wrote this differently from the last one because I forgot how I formatted it, sorry ;u;

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Diavolo

- He’s busy all the time. Like truly, this man rarely gets a break, and even when he does, his mind is still tick-tick-ticking away. Crawl into his lap and hold his face in your hands and he’ll finally relax, you can see the clouds clear away from his eyes. He kisses your forehead and holds your face in return, shining again. It only takes a few moments for him to settle completely, to shut off all his worries.

- He really just,,, likes to pick you up? So long as you’re not absolutely terrified he’ll completely randomly walk up to you and lift you up and carry you around with him or just hold you there. Bonus points if you wrap your arms around his shoulders and / or bury your face into his neck. Extra bonus points if you kiss or nuzzle against his cheek. His grin is so wide and bright it could light up the whole Devildom. Additionally, if you run and jump at him he will drop everything to catch you, no matter what. He has not and will never fail to catch you, and it makes him laugh so hard you can feel it in the way his arms and chest shake as he holds you.

- He likes to lay down beside you and link pinkies. It’s so soft, such a delicate little thing, and yet you trust him enough to let him do that. The minimal contact makes it feel even more special to him, there’s no pressure there. You’re close and he has a reminder of your presence beside him and it’s enough, it’s enough.

- With Diavolo, if you decide to teach him cute human things, you might regret it later, because he remembers them all. You put your palm out once, telling him that he’s supposed to rest his chin there, and from then on he’ll do it immediately. He will also expect you to do it too, and his timing is completely random. You’ll be talking to Barbatos and he’ll hold his hand out and wait for you to rest your chin in it. When you do, he pokes at your cheek with his thumb and walks off again.

- Please play cute games with him. Farming games like Stardew Valley or things like Terraria and Minecraft, or the Sims, or anything like that. He also doesn’t mind matches on more competitive games, but he likes to relax and make a house or a farm with you, and his reactions to everything is adorable; you two make Sims and he cheers when they get married, and even if they’re not representing you two and are just random Sims, he jokes about how you should do that too someday. He’s amazing at games that are strategy based, but prefers to play anything else so he can relax and not think for a while.

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Barbatos

- Random tickles. It’s completely unexpected and he is very sneaky - the first few times it’ll catch you heavily off guard, and even after that it’s hard to predict when you’ll feel his gloved hands brush against your sides. He’s an expert at guessing where someone is ticklish, and abuses that power when alone with the people he loves (namely you!)

- Food fights but on a small scale. He’ll walk past you in the kitchen and brush flour across your face, disguising it as him simply being affectionate as he passes by, a reminder that he cares about you and is thinking about you even as he works. His movements are graceful and confident as always, to the point where it’s actually quite hard to even realise what he’s done. He will consider telling you before you leave the kitchen. He really will consider it.

- Similarly, if his hands are wet, just before drying them off he’ll flick water in your direction and then act like he has no idea what you’re talking about when you ask if he just did that. Really, MC, why would he do that? He’s been so busy cooking, and you’re accusing him of doing something so childish?

- He quite likes just, holding you up and carrying you around but in a different way to Diavolo. Instead of Princess carries, it’s more like if you jump onto someone and wrap your legs around their waist and your arms around their shoulders? He loves carrying you around like that. Cling onto him! He’s not fond of having you cling to his back, but his sides or front is fine.

- Barbatos tends to keep an eye on you and it’s really hard to tell, but if you’re in the same room as him he’s keeping tabs on what you’re doing. You could swear he has eyes on the back of his head, because he always seems to know what you’re up to. In reality, he really just likes seeing how you look when you’re focused, or, alternatively, when you’re completely zoned out and off in space, thinking of something completely random and irrelevant to the current situation. He’ll come up and tap your forehead and smile at you when it looks like you’re back in the room again.

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Solomon

- Solomon isn’t super affectionate and he’s not really an acts of kindness kind of guy. The most important thing for him is proximity; he doesn’t need you pressed up against his side all the time, but he likes having you in the same room as him as often as possible. You spend your evenings in his room in Purgatory Hall, laying or his bed or working at his desk, as he busies away with some new spell or writes down results of experiments with different potion ingredients. He doesn’t bother thinking too hard about it and just accepts it, but the reality is that it’s very calming and comforting for him. He’s also not someone who worries much about being judged or anything, so regularly having another person around doesn’t bother him.

- He asks for your input a lot. Simply put, he wants to hear you talk, and he’d love to know what makes you tick and how your brain works. “What do you think of this?” “How do you think Satan would react if...” and so on. So many ‘what if’ questions that it might make your head spin, because he’s always playing a game in his head of ‘what would happen if...’ despite rarely following through with it outside of experimenting with his magic and potions, and he wants to involve you in it too.

- Solomon doesn’t mind holding hands, and likes to play silly games when you are. Things like having thumb wars, or he’ll tangle his fingers up with yours and watch, amused, as you try and fail to pull your hand from his grip. Afterwards he’ll hold your hand with both of his and run his fingers and thumbs over it to soothe you. He also likes to just rest his hand on top of yours when you’re sitting beside each other.

- He’s going to try to be affectionate if it’s something you seem to want, and just out of curiosity. The one thing that sticks is that, if you’re cooking for him (because he’s not allowed to) he’ll wrap his arms around your waist and hug you from behind, his chin in your shoulder as he watches whatever you’re doing. He’ll blow air at the side of your face or at your fringe / bangs if you have them, so long as you’re not doing anything too dangerous and aren’t at risk of getting seriously injured.

- Bonus: If Solomon calls you and says “try this” or “drink some of this” don’t do it. Or at the very least, ask about any possible effects first. Moreso for food than for potions; he’ll find a way to reverse the potion, but the memory of eating his food will be stuck with you forever.

- Bonus bonus: Solomon loves giving you squishy hugs but he will squeeze you too tight and he will laugh even if he feels your spin click against his arms as you yelp. He won’t hurt you, but he will squeeze you hard enough that breathing will be difficult for a moment. You can tell from his smirk that he doesn’t feel guilty at all.

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Simeon

- Simeon likes having you play with his hair. The way you twirl strands of hair between your fingers and try and fail to make a mess of his soft locks, which always return to their place no matter how hard you try to stop them. Bonus points for innocently wandering fingers that brush down the sides of his face, thumbs and fingers that ever so lightly brush along his cheekbones or around and under his jaw. He relaxes into your touch, eyes fluttering closed before he opens them just enough to smile at you, silent but oh so visibly delighted.

- If he knows it won’t make you sick and it’ll wipe off, he actually quite likes to draw on your hands and arms. He’ll let you do it in return, of course, but simple doodles and patterns, hearts and diamonds and sweet little reminders you’ll see later when you have to wash them off.

- Laying on your stomachs with your sides pressed together on a thin, soft blanket, knees bent and legs swinging in the air as you both read the same book. Simeon always finishes the pages first and so you take charge of just turning the pages, until he mumbles that he had lost focus - he’d been too busy watching your expressions, almost lulled to sleep by listening to your gentle breathing and wondering if you were enjoying the story and what your thoughts on it were, trying to piece it all together without disturbing you.

- You pass him at RAD or out in the Devildom and you don’t necessary stop, but he always waves, and god is it impossible to ignore how he lights up. His eyes gleam and he looks so, so happy just to see you and be reminded of your existence and if you’ve been unsure before about how truthful he’s being when he says he loves you and adores being around you, that look on his face will erase all your doubts. He’s beautiful and he’s glowing and it’s because he saw you!

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Luke

- It’s an obvious one but baking together! Making cakes and decorating them. Letting stress out as you knead bread, experimenting with making different types of pastries. One time you make a batch of cupcakes and decorate them to look like dogs and he feels really sad when people eat them but he’s proud all the same, and he likes that he gets to feel proud around you.

- He acts like he’s indifferent, but he quite likes when you call him your brother. If you call him your little brother, he’ll protest because he’s hundreds of years older than you in reality, but he allows it after a while. So long as he can call you his big sibling in return, it’s worth it. If any of the brothers tease him over being the little brother, he remarks that at least you trust him and care for him so much as to call him your brother. None of them can really respond to that.

- Pat! Him! On! The! Head! Adjust his scarf! Fix his hat! He doesn’t understand why he enjoys it so much, but then Simeon points out that it probably makes him feel cared for, and that’s absolutely it. No teasing works or harsh gestures, just little acts that show you care about him or are thinking about him. It makes him feel so safe and happy.

- He always remembers things on your schedule for you, from little reminders that you might forget about to big important events. The only other person he does that for is Simeon, so it’s really a big deal for him - he shows enough interest to listen to you and remember all the little details you tell him, and then to reach out to you and make sure you remember or just to say he hopes you have a good time. If it’s something stressful, he might not message beforehand, but he’ll show up when it’s over with some treats and act like he just happened to be baking today and had some to spare.

Tag list: @katsukis-sad-angel

[meetmeatthecoda]

Okay so, I wanted to offer my two cents on that ask about Liz’s reaction in Luther Braxton: Conclusion. This is NOT meant as an attack on anyone—I find it 100% valid that the OG nonny (and anyone who related to them, including you dear Coda 💖💖💖) feels the way they do; they can’t control how they reacted to Liz any more than I can control how I reacted to that ask. Plus like, this is all fiction so no harm done? I purely wish to share my perspective, not ~present a counterargument~ or anything like that. :) Apologies in advance for how long this got. 😅😅😅

I get why you would react negatively to Liz’s screaming at Red, but I feel like?? That incident of all the times she’s treated him unjustly was (one of?) the most reasonable. Now, how she continues to act afterwards (regarding the Fulcrum but also, like, for the rest of the show welp) is 100% a continued bad decision in so many ways on her part and reflects terribly on her character, but her reaction in the immediate aftermath?? IDK, I feel the need to kind of defend her, probably because I absoluuuutely saw myself in her when she did that. I’ve (I shamefully admit) yelled, shoved, and even kicked at loved ones when they just wanted to comfort me but their attempts made me feel cornered and small. I’ve made logically unbased and ethically/emotionally unfair accusations against people who’ve done nothing but try to help me when I just needed something to get them away (literally or otherwise). When I just needed to attack something—take out my frustrations and confusion and fear and anger on someone. (And if Liz was like that, she might have latched onto Red as her target because he was the closest thing—physically, emotionally, and even in relation to the cause of that confusion and anger itself.) I have inflicted real harm on people while in an unsettling or unfamiliar mental state—harm that I couldn’t take back even when I could look back with a clear(er) mind and realize I never should have said/done any of that.

(Also, side note: when I first watched that ep and I saw Liz screaming at Red not to touch her?? I’d actually thought they were depicting her as being touch-averse due to the trauma and/or overstimulation, and I was?!! Like, call me badly coping but I appreciate seeing characters not being comfortable or straight-up being aggressive about being touched, even for just a moment, because that is me 24/7. Then of course a few more seconds and it turns out it’s not actually that?? Liz is just repulsed by Red’s Bad Guyness again apparently?? Whenever I rewatch the ep I still choose to see it as overstimulation though because, well… my heart is clearly very talented at choosing comfort characters for me. 🥲🥲🥲)

So speaking from personal experience, coming out of a trauma (or revisiting an unresolved one) is so stressful that it’s only natural to react explosively—even to the extent of unfairness and unreasonableness—in an attempt to protect or heal yourself, whether that attempt be justified or not. And honestly, I could even make the argument that for Liz, her attempt was to some extent justified. Of course Red would never hurt her, but sometimes a person needs breathing space. Like, literally needs. Maybe for the sake of her mental stability/health, Liz should have had her first moments coming up from her trance to herself. Does that make sense?? IDK if I made any sense there; I just know that while I never could have gotten to the place I’m at now without the EVENTUAL professional and personal support I’ve been blessed with, I also can’t fathom how much more mental anguish I would have experienced if I’d had people who knew me (or like, the “closest person” in Liz’s case) see me in the immediate aftermath of my trauma. Just… The state I was in? Yikes, am I glad only I saw myself pull myself together; I’d have had so much more to worry about with others seeing me like that. That might just be me and totally inapplicable to Liz of course, so I digress!

I’m not saying Liz isn’t responsible for her words/actions simply because they happened while she was in utter emotional upheaval and under mental and physical duress—Red definitely did NOT deserve that treatment from her. He did NOTHING WRONG. But with that kind of complex angst comes the inevitably mixed but nonetheless potent reactions of fans, I completely understand that. Everyone has different experiences and thus different viewpoints, and that’s fine and totally healthy in my book. Still, something about that discussion struck a chord with me—you can (and should) hold someone accountable for the harm they do while mentally unstable, but it’s possible and also healthy to do that without, yourself, harboring anger or resentment against them, you know? I had to teach myself (and those around me) that, so I guess I just wanted to put it out there. Again, I don’t mean to start anything and I’m so, so sorry if I inadvertently have. I hope it’s okay that I came here to explain my thoughts (and so wordily too, ack I’m sorry), and if not, I won’t anymore. Thank you for hearing me out this time though, I really appreciate it. :)

Dear anon!! 🤗🥰❤️ Firstly, I want to thank you for your kindness & respect for other's opinions!! This ask was worded in the sweetest, most considerate way & I appreciate it very much!! There's absolutely no need to apologize for having your own opinion & perspective, especially when you share & explain it so nicely, so never fear!! 😊❤️ Moving on to the meat of your ask - which is in regards to this previous one - you make such a good point!! When you look at it that way, the Luther Braxton Post-Memory-Unearthing Screaming Explosion is perhaps Liz's most justifiable negative reaction in the series LOL I guess looking back from where we are now - knowing all about & being completely fed up with all of Liz's awful writing & characterization in the subsequent seasons - it's easy to dismiss her reaction in Luther Braxton as something unreasonable & irritating & unfair to Red (which, to some extent - as you graciously allow - it is). But - as you generously point out - while that's a valid way of looking at it, it's also definitely worth examining from another point of view!! And I think your point of view (in everything ofc, but particularly in this) is so valuable!! I can relate at least on some level... I have definitely snapped at people, even those trying to help me, verbally & otherwise, when I lost my temper & just needed some space!! In fact, I think that's a pretty universal stress reaction & it's not necessarily something to be super ashamed of (but definitely something to be aware of & work on - a good reminder for us all!!) & it's definitely not a stretch to imagine Liz was going through something similar after being effectively water-boarded & having her memories so unceremoniously rifled through!! And, after all, Liz has one thing we generally don't... a perfect, convenient, willing catalyst for all the negative things in her life: Red (however undeserving of that title he may be.)

(And re: sidenote of touch-averse!Liz - Omg, I definitely thought about that being their angle at first too!! While I don't usually default to reacting that way myself [kind of the opposite for me usually LOL] I know that plenty of people do & it's 1000% valid as a coping mechanism & honestly??? A touch-averse Liz would be one of the more realistic reactions she's ever had 😂😭 especially considering the circumstances!! And hey, no shame about gravitating towards that interpretation bc it's 1) less painful for you & 2) you like comfort characters bc you 👏 do 👏 you 👏 but also?? I can't say anything bc the reason that I like that interpretation??? I love the angst of an overwhelmed & touch-averse!Liz unintentionally shattering Red's heart by completely rejecting his well-meaning physical comfort anddddd I'm not sure what that says about me tbh 😂😂😂)

Long story short, anon, you made perfect sense here, not to worry!! You were so respectful & cognizant of others' feelings, thank you so much for that, it doesn't go unnoticed!! You bring such a good point to the discussion with your perspective & outlook & I'm so thankful you chose to contribute!! I loved reading your thoughts & don't worry at all about the length, I appreciate your thoroughness!! (Plus, we all know I'm hardly one to talk, I never use one word when twenty will do 😂) Please don't hesitate to come back to my inbox any time to discuss whatever you like, I always love a little bit of friendly TBL conversation, especially since the show as we know it is so abruptly & unexpectedly over 😭 Yes, still grappling with that, in case you were wondering 🥲 Anyway, thank you again for your lovely ask, anon, I appreciate you greatly, & much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

[sunsetsover]

hello i know i’ve been gone for a couple of weeks and i disappeared without a trace and originally that was because ben’s deafness storyline was bringing back a lot of my own personal experiences that i dealt with when coming to terms with my disability and it was (and still is) really really hard to see what he’s going through and how shitty it is and how badly he’s handling it both because it genuinely is a tough thing to see but also because it reopens all these wounds and gives me anxiety and stresses me out bc reminds me of what i went through and what was easily the toughest and darkest part of my life and obviously that’s no fun to relive lmao

however at this point i’m just staying away bc every time i poke my head in to check what’s going on i’m seeing the most fucked up opinions and takes on the whole thing that it’s actually genuinely making me really angry and upset because the way some of you talk about ben’s disability and situation and specifically the way he’s handling this massive petrifying change in his life speaks volumes about how you view disabled people in real life. because yeah, this is a tv show and ben isn’t real, but things like this happen to people. it happened to ME. and guess what!! i did the exact same fucking thing ben’s doing!!! i isolated myself and felt miserable and got angry and acted out and did stupid shit and hurt the people that cared about!!! and i did that because i was terrified and suffering and hurting and angry!!!! and i’m fucking real!!! i’m a real person and i know for a fact i’m not the only person out there who’s dealt with this kind of thing and reacted in this kind of way. so yeah, you might be sitting behind your fucking keyboards saying all these things about ben being selfish or dramatic or unreasonable or whatever else and think it’s ok because ben’s not a real person but you forget that there are real disabled people reading this shit and potentially internalising those things and feeling like THEY have to deal with their situation in a certain way or that they can’t feel certain things because some able bodied dickhead on tumblr dot com feels like they’re entitled to give their shitty fucking input on how disabled people should react to or deal with their disability - and this apparently means we’re not allowed to break down or be upset or act out because that’s too dramatic!!! ben should just shut up and have his operation right!!!! he should just stop misbehaving and causing so much trouble because it’s inconvenient!!! it’s not fair on callum right!!!!!!

like for some reason some of you cannot see beyond the end of your fucking noses to see that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with callum!!!!!! what the fuck does callum have to do with the fact that ben is having a fucking break down!!!!! what does callum have to do with the fact that ben is scared and acting out in the only way he knows how because he’s desperate to prove he isn’t different and that nothing’s changed and that he can still do the things he’s always done!!!!! callum has so fucking little to do with what ben’s going through at the moment and yet some people cannot look at this horrible situation that ben’s dealing with through anything other than a ballum lens and it fucking REEKS

ben lost his fucking hearing, he’s isolated, he’s feels like he’s lost so much of his self, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s upset, he’s petrified he’ll never hear his daughter’s voice again - his daughter who got hit by a fucking car because he couldn’t hear it and now he feels like he’ll never be able to look after her or keep her safe the way he should - and yes he’s acting out because of all of that!! that’s what happens when you can’t accept your disability!!! you’re determined to prove you can do what you could before no matter what it costs you!!! and yet i’ve seen MULTIPLE people reduce that to ‘well he shouldn’t do that because it’s unfair and inconvenient for callum’!!!!!!!!!! or ‘ben isn’t putting enough effort into his relationship with callum/thinking about callum’!!!! or ‘this is just angst porn that serves no purpose’!!!!!!!! do you not have a brain in your fucking head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his brother’s just died!!!!! he’s just become deaf!!!!!!! he can’t fucking hear!!!!!!!!!!! he might never hear again!!!!!!! and is facing major surgery that might not even work!!!!!!!!!!!!! like hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of course he’s struggling and acting out!!!! the fact that so few of you seem to be able to comprehend what’s going on is genuinely worrying

the fact of the matter is that some of you are upset that you don’t have your able bodied ship being all cute and domestic anymore. YOU are the ones who feel inconvenienced or slighted, and you’re projecting that onto callum bc that’s how you can get away w saying this bullshit. bc - and i know this might come as a shock to some of you - when you care about and love someone, you support them when they’re going through such a difficult time. you try to be as understanding as you can. also just look at who callum is as a character. you think he wouldn’t understand ben’s behaviour rn??? like come on!! so maybe it’s YOU that has the problem. maybe it’s YOU that doesn’t like it bc ben’s struggling through this in an ugly (but COMPLETELY valid) way and that’s inconvenient for you bc, whether you’re even aware of it or not, being disabled is an inconvenience. disabled people are hard work. this is just how most able bodied people see disabled people. if you’re reading this and you’re able bodied, you’re not immune from this. you’re not special. like any other prejudice, it’s something you just subconsciously learn and you might not even be aware of. but i’m telling you as a disabled person, the way some of you are speaking abt ben/this storyline tells me everything i need to know about how you view disabled people. so maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you’re saying what you’re saying and why you may feel the way you feel regarding this particular sl. bc for a lot of you, whether you wanna admit it or not, the answer is ableism. 

i didn’t want to make this post bc i don’t LIKE being confrontational!! i wanna be polite and kind and fair!!! but some of you have to understand that when you’re saying some of this shit you’re basically disregarding/making light of/taking the piss out of disabled people and their experiences. maybe you’re not even aware you’re doing it, but that’s exactly what it is. that’s exactly what it comes across as, and that’s exactly what it feels like to read some of the things you post as a disabled person (and it’s not just me - i know for a fact this stuff is affecting other disabled people in this fandom too). it’s upsetting, it’s invalidating, it’s HUMILIATING. and i’m fortunate enough to be a point in my life where i’m at relative peace w my disability, but if this were 5 years ago?? you have no idea how reading some of this shit would have fucked with my head. so the fact that i know there are other disabled people out there reading this stuff and it’s affecting them is more important to me than not starting drama on tumblr dot com. their feelings mean too much to me for me to just sit here and not say anything bc i don’t wanna upset people. some of u need to be upset. it’s the only way you’re gonna learn.

literally all i’m asking is for you to think about the things you say before you post them. ask yourself why you feel a certain way about things. ask yourself if what you wanna say is potentially gonna hurt or upset or insult a disabled person who might be reading it. ask yourself if you just wanna say some bullshit abt ben bc you’re just mad callum isn’t getting more screentime. bc if the answer is yes i promise you your opinion is unhelpful, unneeded and unwanted. so maybe just u know. keep your mouth shut.

[suggable]

Im going to write down my second experience seeing Day6 live mostly for me, but feel free to read it after the break if you want (please do not reblog it tho) ✨ a little warning i’ll probably get very emotional and personal and this is going to be Very long and probably will get incoherent at some point!!!!!

I saw Day6 yesterday in Madrid for the second time, and not to be dramatic but it was probably one of the best experiences of my life 😭💕 I already had lots of fun last year but this year’s concert was not only fun but very meaningful for me.

As some of you may know I finally finally finished this week my architecture studies after 6 and a half very long and tough years. The last two have been especially hard, aproximately the same ammount of time I’ve been following Day6 closely. When I first discovered their music I immediately fell in love with it, and I fell in love again when i got to know them. I can positively say they’re the closest artists to my heart, my soulmate band. I do love and appreciate a lot of other artists but the way I love day6 it’s.... unparalled. I’m gonna stop being cheesy now hfjjsjka but knowing that I was going to see them again and meet them after all the constant exhaustion that my master’s has been has given me so much strenght during those all nighters and endless days working on my project kjfdkjjks 

I’m privileged enough to have been able to get vvips tickets this time but tbh that’s not important, the whole experience of the concert it’s what makes it worth it. Me and my friends decided not to go queueing very early bc we wanted to be well rested and we knew we were going to have a good spot in any case. We were so lucky yesterday’s weather was sort of warm, considering our awful awful experience from last year jkdjkskj. I’m so happy we were so prepared this time, we brought lots of snacks and blankets for the queue. We also prepared some fanart freebies to share and trade and it was the nicest experience, everyone there was so so lovely!!! I had such a great time only waiting in line and chatting with myday ^^ After we got out numbered wristbands we picked up our signed entropy copies. I got the “Sweet” version which is my fave!!! I traded around the pcs so i ended up with all Sungjin and Dowoon jhjfhjsdj (and the loveliest Dopil pc 😭❤) I was so happy we didnt have any trouble with queueing or numbering this time!!!!! Then we went for lunch and almost didn’t make it back on time bc it took us ages to get out meals n we wanted to leave all the heavy stuff and coats at the car jdfjkdkjskk but!!! we made it thanks to the lovely people next to us in the queue!!!

We finally got into the venue (which is so big!!! and we filled it!! im so PROUD) and my friends were headed to the left side where Jae is but I noticed the middle section was also kind of empty so we ran there kjkjfd and ended up in 2nd-3rd row!!! so we were in the middle and had a great view of everyone ^^ i felt kind of bad bc the people around us had been queueing from 3am and we’d arrived at 8:30 :P also next to us there was this korean girl who runs a Dowoon fansite and she was very nice and polite and she must kind of hate now me a bit bc I didn’t stop moving and jumping  i hope her pics came out nicely anyway!!! we only had to wait for an hour inside n we had lots of sweets to keep our energy up so it was quite alright :)

when they boys came out i noticed i had the clearest Sungjin visual so I ended up looking at him most of the time kjfjdkkkdksd i just couldn’t help it like the pics don’t do him justice he’s just so cute and expressive and makes the funniest faces when playing!!! and sort of bounces when playing which is the Cutest thing!!!!  there was some sort of problem with his guitars at first n seemed a bit annoyed but it turned out alright!! I also paid lots of attention to Jae bc he has Such Energy performing, the truest hype man!!! when he plays you can see he’s genuinely enjoying himself and loves myday so so much :(((( he interacted a lot with us!! 

Dowoon was also in front of me but he was covered most of the time by his drumset :(( I could see him making all these baby bird pouty faces or mouthing the lyrics and it was.... so CUTE :((((( he’s so cute i 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 also i was in awe at his drumming technique like he’s so so so talented and you can clearly see how much he loves it!!! He’s the best boy!!!

I had to move my head a bit to see YoungK and Wonpil and I tried my best looking at everyone when they were singing, but my eyes would automatically go back to Sungjin jfdjskjkaskj I can tell you Young K is very VERY Atractive when performing, he has a sort of magnetism!! He also seemed soooo happy and would jump around non stop and smile at the fans and just Bless us in general!!! Wonpil was sort of serious when playing but you could tell he was concentrated !!! Also his piano and dj skills im!!!!!! like when he plays the Time of Our Life intro so easily!!! i play piano and let me tell you it is difficult as Fuck!!! he truly is so talented!! plus when he was talking with us he was so playful and cute :(((((

Some concert Highlights for me: hearing Best Part live, also So Cool, TOOL, Headache, wanna go back!!! how to love!!! SWEET CHAOS!!!! also hearing WARNING again which may easily be my fave song of them now (well no...we all know it’s impossible to pick just one but yeah jkdfjskkç) also Colors!! when the first chords started playing i started tearing up n then the chorus came n i just broke down crying jsdsk I also cried during I Need Somebody and that bit when we sang back to them and we sang I Smile :((( also the fucking SOLOS hello most talented band in the universe????!!! but like for real they all sound so good live!!! i love that you can clearly hear the drums and keys and all the instruments, plus their vocals are just!! so!! good!!!!!! Jae and Young K went Mad with the adlibs I was living my best life!!!!! 

at some point i locked eyes with Sungjin n my potato brain decided the best thing i could do was to send a flying kiss his way so i did n he got so SHY!!!! and made a 😳😳😳😳 face jkdfjkjkjks i felt v awkward afterwards like i didnt know he was going to react that way jfdkjksa 

Also hearing them speaking spanish...fucking surreal...but when they did their ments in English!!! wow!!! they’ve gotten so good!!!! they kept saying they were so happy and this was the best way to end the tour and they’d grown so much, and reminding us to always be happy i :((((( Wonpil’s ment was the sweetest thing and he sent such an important message and I started crying again (and i made eye contact with Jae while ugly crying so i had to hid behind my banner jkdskjjkjdskks) and couldn’t stop through the whole length of their ments :(( i barely remember anything from young k’s bc i was trying to compose myself a bit jkfkjkjd Dowoon’s was so cute!!! He’d wait for the translator and make such funny faces i :((( Sungjin’s English and like Everything about him im so gone kjfkjjkds and then JAE’S...........

that was truly the Highlight of the night, what truly truly made everything special and what i hope will make them cherish and remember this night forever. So a bit of context: we had prepared a project where during For Me we would take out some prints of some of Jae’s encouraging and inspirational tweets and held them up. So at first Jae was surprised but I guess he didn’t have the time to read which specific tweets we were holing. Then during like the second half of the song he realised n got like v serious like he was trying not to cry...I remember Sungjin also realised bc he was looking at Jae just Knowing.... When we took the concert pics Jae asked us to take an extra one with the tweets bc he wanted it for himself....and then his MENT he thanked us for listening to him and letting him know we hear his words and basically acknowledge and validate him when he passes those life lessons to us and that it meant more than we could imagine....and he was getting more n more emotional n trying not to cry but im p sure he did...and then Sungjin and Wonpil came to his side n started doing this weird dance around him hdjfjjkskjsdkjskkkladsslk n cheered Jae up THEY’RE SO PRECIOUS :((((  but like moments prior u could see Sungjin just Waiting for it n smirking jkjkfdsjkjkkjs also the fact he immediately tweeted about it after the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

the whole hi touch thing was such a fiasco but tbh i didnt have much hope to begin with jkfdjkdkjs they made us wear face masks as a prevention for the coronavirus break.........but it didnt really matter bc there was an insane number of vips so we were a LOT of pple for the hi touch...we were rushed n pushed n screamed at by both security n mmt staff....i was laughing at the whole absurdity of the situation n wonpil saw me hjdfkjksjks...we barely had time to say something and high five them but i did manage to say thank u to each of them n look them in the eyes at least!!! (they’re so beautiful from upclose!! and GIANTS! and sungjins eyes.........otherwordly) i felt so bad for the fans that were looking forward to it and for them as well bc you could see their apologetic faces....but anyways everything else went so well im not going to dwell on that!! so yeah i’ve met day6 but i barely remember anything kjjkdsjkd it feels like a fever dream :((((

but tbh considering everything it was the nicest experience!!! im so happy i had the chance to see them again n i hope they come back again!!! also i really wish they’d tour more cities, like there are so many mydays that deserve to see them too :((( 

ok im done with this whole essay like i could keep rambling and rambling but this is the most essential of it!!! if you also read this thank you!!!! please be happy and trust and listen to day6!!!❤💖💕✨🌟

[cannotgiveafuck]

Billy Batson & Captain Marvel identity analysis (long post ahead)

Alrighty then! So I contemplated posting this bc it's so closely tied to the wip fic, buuuut here it is. Ive never been really satisfied with how some media portray this character bc they either lean too far towards childish or angry, or divide the identities too much. And whilst writing the fic I thought about how I wanted to portray him and what that entailed. A long semi comprehensive ramble of headcanons and character analysis based on the individual and combined identities of Billy and Marvel!

First, we have Billy. This kid who's parents died on a work trip, was left in the care of a greedy/selfish old man that did not care for him at all, has bounced through foster homes for a plethora of reasons (some of which are behavioral or abusive), and ultimately decided trying to make it on the streets was his best option (before being picked up by Dudley).

Now, backstory wise, it's all very obvious that Billy would have trust issues, especially towards adults (and double towards adults who try to control him). His learned attitude towards those that set their eyes on him (both before and especially after becoming Marvel) is guarded and aggressively defensive, he's snarky and sarcastic, ready to flee at a moments notice, and scared of being once again used, abused, and tossed aside if he were to trust someone. But at his soft core he desperately wants to be cared for, he wants affection and love and family, he wants a safe and secure home, he wants to believe in good.

All of this bleeds into his attitude towards his peers, too. Before becoming Marvel, he's a bit jaded and lost - his wrecked home life creating the chasm that keeps him from opening up and relating to others, from making real friends (the few exceptions being friends he considers family, and whom he is very loyal and protective of). After Marvel, Billy doesn't even try to associate with kids his own age. He stops going to school and is so focused on trying to be a good hero, he has distanced himself even more. But also, all the situations that he is exposed to really matures him. He still enjoys video games and sports, but he's also worrying about keeping Fawcett City and the world safe and working with JL - he doesn't have time nor patience for naive and clueless kids. But since he still is a kid and wants to have fun, those he let's in he holds onto and divulges everything to.

However, despite his hard outer shell, I do believe Billy is good and tries to be good and wants to see the good in those around him. A prominent and reoccurring memory of his parents is them telling him to be a good kid. That very much shapes Billy's views and ideologies. He wants to be a good person, which means he needs to help others (however he sees fit, from stopping bullies to carrying an old ladys groceries), but also realize that there is good all around him in everyone else, too. He has kind neighbors, and a community that helps each other, he knows everyone has their own struggles and they may direct negative emotions outward but may just need a helping hand in return. Billy knows suffering and cruelty and does not want to cause that, he wants to end it. So, theres this conflict inside him that he views as being smart vs being good. His true sunshine and trusting demeanor is boosted when he is chosen by Shazam, because now he has this divine and worldly responsibility to do and be good. And while he does not hold value in himself (abandoned and abused orphan does not hold a high confidence or self esteem level), he also wants to prove that he is worthy of inheriting this power, that there is good in this world and in him.

Now, second we have Captain Marvel. This is where identities become...complicated. The way I see it, Marvel is a mesh of 'Billy Batson', 'The Potential Adult Billy Could Be', and 'The Vessel of The Greek Gods Powers'. Since I've gone over Billy's identity, it transfers onto Marvel pretty seamlessly. So as The Adult Billy, he is still Billy Batson, but the grown up version, comfortable in his skin and in social standings with others, he is without the limiting physiological responses and capabilities of being a child. Despite all his experiences, Billy is still a kid - a bit awkward in his growing body, he's impulsive with his emotional responses, he jumps to conclusions and is very one track minded, has a hard time putting words to thoughts or instincts and understanding certain things and intentions (situations being very black and white). But as Adult Billy who is Marvel, he still sees through the same eyes, but he can filter distractions and pause to think through reflexive emotions, and he has a better understanding on just how morally grey the world can be, a gained clarity on other intentions and livelihoods, and he can empathize and read other's emotions in more detail than just the basic happy/mad/sad. Basically, Billy's brain has physically grown to that of an adult.

On the other hand, there is also what I like to believe is a...sort of third will in what makes Captain Marvel. He is, for all intents and purposes, a vessel or an avatar of sorts. He is a Chosen Champion by the Wizard Shazam to wield the powers of the Greek Gods (specifically the Greek gods, bc...well, that's a whole other post to ramble on), hes the mortal connection between them and the human world, their gift to the humans as a protector, as the guiding light of good. He is a symbol and title beyond one person. It is much like the mantle of Batman being passed on, except instead of all the gadgets and tech and databases...it's experiences and memories and wisdom gained by the previous Marvels, and available when properly called upon. Captain Marvel is like a reincarnation every time there is a new chosen champion. Billy is himself, but there were also others before him, other Marvels that existed and lived that can be remembered.

There is, however, a weird side effect to this being that the more in touch and immersed with these previous Marvel's he becomes, the more he slips away from himself - less Billy and human, more ancient and disconnected. He loses Billy's mannerisms and speech pattern and warm empathy, he still follows the ideology of good, but the charisma is gone, he's distant and cold.

All of this makes for a very interesting and fun way of writing Marvel and Billy - in how they each think through situations, how they each interact with the same people, how they each react to everything. And that's including how the same people react and treat each of them differently. Someone may see and treat Billy as a kid, but with Marvel they interact with and see an adult, a peer. When someone knows who Marvel really is, they need to consciously remind themselves that Marvel is Billy is a kid, because literally everything about Marvel screams at their senses that he's an adult (sunshine naivety aside). He still walks and talks and looks and is capable of thinking like an adult. It's not a situation of a couple of kids standing on top of each other in a trenchcoat or a kid dressing and doing their makeup like an adult. Magic has made him an adult, sort of.

At the core of it, the one experiencing and remembering and feeling everything is a child. There is no separating that, he is a different face of the same coin. So while Marvel can handle the emotional and mental exhaustion and stress of the situations he is put in, Billy Batson is going to suffer through the replays when everything is done. Because superheroing is not all saving lives and being praised, it's seeing people be hurt and bleed, interacting with the worst of humanity and others, witnessing tragedies and death in small intimate encounters and in large numbers. He is the one that will have nightmares and trouble sleeping, he is the one that will bear the brunt of the trauma and remorse, navigating detailed memories of violence and how it felt to hurt, wondering why there are phantom pains and aches when his body is not damaged, all with no trusted support system to turn to (because if he does, will the JL just see him as a child who cannot handle being a hero? will they turn him away?). Billy is the one having his childhood and innocence ripped away from him for the sake of the world. There are consequences of being the chosen champion, and while Billy is willing to accept them, will continue to fight and uphold his divine duties, will put others before himself every time, it wont make be easy.

The potential of how complicated Billy and Marvel can be, and how other heroes cannot fully comprehend it without a trusted in depth discussion (only Black Adam can understand and lemme tell you, that's a hot mess) - that's what makes him and his situation so interesting and fun to write.

[roominthecastle]

"Rassvet” delves into the time period between Katarina’s first suicide attempt in February, 1991 (following her run-in w/ the Osterman death squad) & the strategic “resurrection of Raymond Reddington”. Timeline-wise we are good here, imo, otherwise things get... interesting. More behind the cut:

Red told Liz that her mother walked into the ocean 2 months after the Christmas fire (1990). This date checks out. At the shelter, we can hear the news announcing the results of the Lithuanian Independence Referendum. This happened (for real) on February 10, 1991. We also know that Ilya/Red had his first surgical procedure on October 3, 1991. So it’s an 8-month period and not 6 as Liz says, but it’s not that big of a difference (you’re bad at simple math, Liz, and I can relate). Dom says that the various reconstructive surgeries took place over a one-year period, so Ilya/Red likely walked into the first bank towards the end of 1992. Katarina was still alive here and that matches Dom’s claims that 1) he came to the US after the collapse of the Soviet Union (so anytime after December 31, 1991) and 2) that he met Katarina a few months after he arrived, then he never saw or heard from her again. And this is where Dom’s story ends.

Katarina’s “death”, however, is trickier. The show’s been playing fast and loose w/ Red’s “I’ve never lied to you” for a while now, and what he’s told Liz about her mother’s death is def on the very loose end here. Ilya/Red claimed Katarina committed suicide. Well, she did (“I went into the ocean to end my life.”), it was just an unsuccessful one and Ilya/Red did believe her to be dead for a while. He also claimed she was never the same after the fire, and her death is treated as a symbolic one throughout this episode, too (“The woman who walked into the ocean is dead.”). But I still think she is likely dead for real now, she just died later as a consequence of their Reddington Charade, likely as a result of a betrayal that contributed to why Red is the way he is today, why he accepts nothing less than utmost/undivided loyalty, and why he feels so much guilt around Liz, believing that he can never give back what he took from her.

So the dates are fine and, at the end of the day, “Lizzie, your mother is dead” is a statement that holds true, imo (at the very least as a “clever turn of phrase” if Kat is “gone” like Samar is, i.e. never coming back, never able to reach out). For now, I am at peace w/ this.

We also have confirmation that Ilya/Red was indeed there when Liz shot her father. They pulled the dying Reddington from the flames before the firefighters arrived, but he soon died in Katarina’s arms. Then -- after burying him -- Ilya/Red and Kat probably went their separate ways bc he only read about her suicide and had no idea that she survived. In fact, we find him back at work at the Embassy all perky and business as usual, which feels emotionally disjointed from the importance Katarina seems to suddenly take on in his life when he decides to sacrifice everything to protect her. Interestingly, he makes no mention of Liz in this initial vow of protection. In fact, he seems to have no particular investment/interest in Liz whatsoever, and, as we know, his promise of taking care of her “as his own” is never followed through, either.

So if Katarina is as important to him as that monumental sacrifice implies, how come he wasn’t out of his mind with grief before when he thought she’d drowned? With Liz, he is emotionally consistent: his devotion is 100% and so is his devastation when he believes her to be dead. I don’t see this w/ Katarina. There is an inconsistency here that makes me think that there was more behind his willingness to take over Reddington’s identity than a childhood pledge but the answer to this is in the missing parts of the story.

I am def not disputing that Katarina was important to him. They clearly had a bond. I think that childhood pledge was real, too, bc it’s something Dom would know about and it got repeated. I also buy the unrequited & unconditional love scenario bc it fits Red’s personality and he already dropped a comment about this to Liz. But I don’t see them as lovers.

Katarina was decidedly not interested, she was devastated by Reddington’s death, even had a second suicide attempt. She was in love w/ Reddington and also married to/lived with Kirk in Soviet Russia at the time Ilya/Red was stationed in Washington, so I really don’t see how tacking on a 3rd (long-distance) relationship would have fit her life or why. In this ep, they also stayed in separate hotel rooms, Ilya/Red knocked before trying to enter hers -- this behavior doesn’t match two people being in an established intimate relationship (even if it’s on-again, off-again) and I got the same vibe from Red’s POV in “Cape May”, too. Liz is his life and heart, the woman he loves, and after this latest episode, the parallel btw how Katarina and Red react to the death of the person they were in love with is clearer and stronger than ever. For Katarina it was real Reddington. For Red, it is Liz. And I am not even gonna get into the “my child is being raised by someone else” angle but it parallels, too: Katarina put a pin in her original “plan” and came back to make sure Liz was safe. Red did the same for Agnes.

Anyway, what we have in “Rassvet” is, imo, a blend of standard limited 3rd person narration + a curious (infuriating? depends on your perspective) case of an unreliable narrator, which resulted in 2/3 of the messages I got that range from “WTF did I just watch?” to “it doesn’t really add up” and “what about his family??” I don’t believe it’s supposed to add up (yet) and stuff is missing (for now) for a reason.

This ep taps into the signature style of previous flashbacks:

“Cape May” is Red’s distorted recollection filtered through a cocktail of opium, guilt, grief, and suicidal ideation

“Requiem” is Mr. Kaplan’s trip down memory lane that’s skewed by her severe physical/mental/emotional traumas

“Rassvet” is a classic story-inspired-by-true-events Dom tells his granddaughter

There is no objective record of past events presented to us in TBL. We never had that and we might never will. We have memories from sources that are compromised -- biased, altered, censored, redacted -- in various ways, and “narrators” who are unreliable for various reasons. In other words, we have stories and storytellers with agendas.

The lack of reliable omniscient narration becomes evident in “Rassvet” that fittingly revolves around the creation of an identity from a mix of hard facts and anecdotes -- “some true, grounded in reality, some invented” -- for a purpose that (imo) remains partially obscured. It is perfectly captured in both Red’s scene w/ Liz and his subsequent confrontation with our most recent storyteller, Dom: “I know the broad strokes, I know who I am. I need to know the details of exactly what you’ve thrown out there into the ether.”

Red used to be Ilya but the Ilya we see in this episode is Dom’s version -- idealized and incomplete, mostly to fit the story and Dom’s reasons for telling it. This is why Red needs to know what exactly has been said, imo. Liz has already told him the broad strokes and he is Ilya, but the details Dom used to color over things ended up painting a distorted picture that made Red twitch as he listened to Liz in that restaurant. “I know who I am”, he tells Dom but it sure seemed that he only recognized parts of himself in what Liz repeated back to him. The technicalities of him becoming Reddington were told. The whys and hows of his mental/emotional de-evolution are still unclear, imo. This is what Liz touches upon, as well, when she asks him why he stayed Reddington after his alleged original motivation (accessing the $40-million “frame fund” to use it to stay ahead of those hunting Katarina and him) was satisfied. And he naturally dodges her question.

Red detests monsters who masquerade as saviors. This was established at the very beginning when he demolished one of Liz’s idols, as was his view of himself as a violent, ruthless man and self-proclaimed monster who’s sick with guilt and grief and can only atone by protecting Liz. But now, thanks to Dom’s story, she has a skewed view of him as some selfless hero with the purest of original motivations. He was visibly uncomfortable when she believed him to be her father bc he is not that. He is uncomfortable to be perceived as her hero, too, bc he is not that, either, and he def does not see himself that way, either.

Red knows what we know and is angry about it: Dom omitted parts from his narrative and embellished or maybe even invented others. Dom blamed Red for Katarina’s death. He forgave her betrayal but not Red’s (which reminded me of Aram’s situation w/ Levi and Red’s reaction to it), and we have seen Red blaming himself, too, but that tragedy, the event necessitating a “Hobson’s choice” (either letting both Liz and Katarina die or saving one) is missing from the story. Dembe once told Red that Liz may never be ready to hear what he did to Katarina, but there is no trace of that in Dom’s story; it is all unconditional love and pure sacrifice. There is no trace of Red’s own family tragedy, either, but I still don’t believe any of this is forgotten or rewritten.

The former is likely omitted bc Dom’s “storytelling agenda” was to reconnect with Liz, smooth things over, and help everyone move forward. This motivation was floated in the previous episode via his carside chat w/ Red that’s all about the topic of forgiveness: “Why did she turn you in? What did you do that made her want to do that?” | “I haven't ever been totally forthright about myself. She thought she'd have a better chance of finding out more if I was in prison and couldn't interfere.” And it is brought to a conclusion -- on Dom’s part -- at the end of “Rassvet” when he tells Red: “What you need to do is to thank me for putting all of this behind you.” I think the story was Dom’s way of offering forgiveness to Red (a response to his “You forgave Katarina but not me” in the previous ep) and helping him move on. He believes he told Liz enough to give her closure, too. Red seems to disagree, claiming that this likely made things worse. He’s probably right and I cannot wait to see how it unfolds.

I think the other major omission -- that of Red’s family tragedy that’s been alluded to in earlier seasons -- is not in Dom’s story bc he doesn’t know about it. At least I had this feeling when Red showed up on Dom’s doorstep after Liz’s “death”. Dom acted like Red had never experienced the devastating loss of a family, saying sth along the lines of “You think now you know how I feel?!” If he knew about Red’s/Ilya’s wife and daughter, he never would have said that, imo. Also, Red was an operative and worked in the Ambassador’s Residence in D.C. that still housed the Soviet embassy in 1991. When he met younger Dom in Moscow, he greeted him by saying “Sir, it’s been too long.” So they were likely not in touch for a long time and Ilya/Red was stationed in the US for who knows how long and for what mission (it seems he was translating a report on a USA/USSR Maritime Boundary Agreement when Katarina’s crossword code popped up on the screen). This “blank period” gives us room for that missing story piece (which likely happened around/after 1987) and a plausible reason for Dom to not be aware of it.

Dom was not aware of the existence of the Cabal, either, until Katarina got caught up in their web, so I think it’s v likely that they were also responsible for killing Ilya/Red’s family, which -- coupled w/ wanting to protect Katarina -- would be a proper, plausible motivation for him to take on Reddington’s identity given that it provided him w/ something even better than $40 million: tangible access to the Cabal and the Fulcrum. The new identity brought the seed money and a stepping stone to launch his Odyssean mission.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Hey…

… Hey, wireless?

F YOU.

Okay. Thank god for common sense. I accidentally lost my post bc my wireless conked out.

HOWEVER!

I was wise, and copied the contents. so we have lost nothing but the tags. Which weren’t that interesting any way.

So here we go!

In no order: (also, I apologise for any typos my fingers decided they wanted to type a mile a minute… DX)

Aw, Naohisa (still thinking I’m spelling his name wrong) is giving them science lessons…

That Melto loves and Asuna doesn’t get… XD It’s okay Asuna, I’m not sure I understand, either.

Melto’s so starry-eyed, gods love him. XD

ASUNA.

Aw, Tyramigo. It’s okay, Melto, he doesn’t mean it meanly. ^^

They’re really cute though. XD

I guess Kou got the idea to see the world in his head from watching tv…

But I feel like there are better places to get into the river than jumping over this railing…

THAT LITTLE BLINK BEFORE HE SAYS ‘209’ XD

He’s clearly got no idea why that’s shocking. ^^

UI DON’T JUST ACCEPT THIS! DX

I guess she decided that she couldn’t really tell a 209 year old what to do…

This episode officially made me conclude that Ui and Touwa are the smols. They’re the youngest of the siblings. Kou is next, then Melto and Asuna are like… Twins who are slightly older than him. No one can agree which one of them is older. Banba is obviously the eldest and stuck managing them. Maybe until Gold gets here. Unless he’ll have to manage Gold, too.

Touwa’s fast, but Banba outweighs him… A for effort, though, sweetie. <3

To continue reading foreshadowing in everything… I wonder if Touwa commenting he doesn’t think Banba can lose in one v one means we’re eventually going to see just that happen.

Or, potentially, maybe Banba did once lose to someone in one v one?

Or both?

Touwa, honey, I just want you to know I very much support the concept of you and the others just tackling your brother. Like Merry and Pippin w/ Boromir. Just jump him. He could use the hugs.

Banba gazes majestically off into the distance as he prepares to be angsty.

Banba: ‘People will always betray you.’

Me: ‘Who did this to you? SHOW ME SO I CAN STAB THEM W/ THIS FORK TEN MILLION TIMES???’

I so want whoever hurt him like this to be an absolute dickwad and I want to see them get their asses kicked, esp by some truly pissed off little sibs.

By Banba, too, absolutely. But I would kill for an ep where the kids find out what this person did and go on a roaring rampage of protectiveness for their big brother. TT^TT DX

Touwa definitely doesn’t know what happened… DX I think he knew Banba was distrusting towards others and very much a loner, but he looks so sad and confused that I don’t think he knew it went this deep…

I wanna hug my little green gremlin son, too! DX I WANNA HUG ALL OF THEM!

Eh. I’m sure she’s fine.

Mook suit actors, the unsung heroes of any and all Sentai. XD

Hey, Green final slash! And Black again. ^^

XD Touwa. Banba’s just like ‘irritated growl.’ ^^

I’m… Pretty sure Ui just insulted this guy…?

Okay, here’s the thing. I don’t see nobody glowing green and losing life force. So… Did they just decide not to put that effect in, or… Or did the Minusaur actually come from someone else?

Like… Tall Cheese?

Ahem. Sorry. I mean Fita.

Though she’s not glowing either… Augh. I dunno what I’m saying.

Why would they chain up Ui, but not Kou?

Well done, Kou. ^^ Boy’s clever is a fight. XD

… What the heck was that boise and dramatic shot of her face? Where they just trying to remind us she’s an idol? I think it happened when the brothers find her, too… Does it mean something? Hmm… I dunno.

Kou’s reaction is hilarious, though.

Ui’s neck is gonna hurt later… DX

Okay, but later the brothers wake her up just fine? I guess the effects were only temporary… That’s probably why they chained them up, so that they couldn’t escape even when they woke up.

And… Kou’s sense ends here. Why didn’t you call the others, you dork? XD

Hmm… I miss Tankjoh, but I kinda like the new guy’s music…

I think he’s meant to be a drastically different personality. Where Tankjoh was surly and serious, this guy is bombastic and childish.

These are the most badass children I have ever seen.

Actually, that’s not true, but, they’re up there.

I’m wonder if it’s an effect of the brainwashing.

I love that girl in the lavender sweatshirt who just goes for the spinning kick. XD

Touwa probably bothered Banba until he agreed to bring her here. XD Which may have been easier bc Banba probably didn’t want to have to deal w/ her…

Melto thinking ‘oh, crap, she’s pretentious, the only way we’re gonna get her to talk is… *sigh* okay, someone has to take this bullet, it might as well be me…’

Honestly, though, I think the only other person who would possibly be willing to do that is Touwa, and probably not. Asuna wasn’t taking well to getting ordered around, and Banba would never kneel to anyone (… Well… Actually, no comment). My interpretation is that Melto realises she’s rather high and mighty, and that she’ll respond to an act of 'reverence’ like that, and he knows no one else in the room is gonna be willing to do it w/out complaining. So he just steps in to save them all the trouble. Mom friend to the rescue.

Honestly, it’s very sensible of him. ^^

I need to write more w/ Melto… DX

Banba is the back modelling. Bc boy can’t be in a single scene where he isn’t posing in some way at every opportunity.

XD I WAS RIGHT. ^^

Sorry Short Cheese, Banba doesn’t care if you think he has manners (I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to ditch her in the forest earlier XD). Touwa looks slightly miffed, but I think he’s less effected by it coming from you. The only one you’re offending is Asuna. And, actually, I’d advise against that.

Hey, isn’t Asuna also technically a noble?

Asuna’s like ‘First off, how dare you? Second, how dare you? And third… How dare you?’

XD This is even funnier bc of one of my casual ships. ^^

Melto hates this so much, but he’s willing to do it to find out what’s happening. XD Poor baby.

Oh, okay. So the mind control is just his thing.

This is so vague I can’t trust it… I mean, I guess most of it could be on the level, but… Hm. I gotta wonder if they were allowed to escape… And what exactly he’s got on them to have them still be doing this? (Bc next ep pretty much reveals they’re trying to trick the team) Is Short Cheese mind controlled? Is Tall Cheese? They repeat her ‘I would risk my own life to save her’ twice this ep, so I’m guessing Tall Cheese/little sister’s life is still in danger somehow…? I dunno. I guess we’ll learn this weekend.

So… What, you can just teleport? Why didn’t you do that when you were running before? SUSPICIOUS?

Also, I’m not sure I trust these flashbacks either, bc they’re from Short Cheese’s point of view, and next ep indicates she wasn’t being on the level w/ the team. I mean, she’s holding that orange rock in a bottle… But… Did it come from her planet? Is it something they stole from the Druidons? Or is there a part of this story that was left out (actually, that much is obvious bc Short Cheese didn’t mention the rock at all), where the Druidon gave it to her? Too many variables, even if I didn’t know they were up to something.

I should note that it’s pretty obvious they’re not actually evil and are being forced into doing this. They’re only here as guest stars and they’re being promoted as being idols (exhibit A, the abrupt song sequence coming up), so I HIGHLY doubt they’re gonna pull out the rug and make them outright evil.

And, anyway, the next ep preview practically confirms that. XD

Girl in the lavender sweatshirt is ready to kill something, I swear.

I also like the boy in the burgundy and white sweatshirt. XD He’s paying such good attention. ^^

Asuna’s offended, Melto’s somewhere else thinking about Wyzul, Banba doesn’t care and Touwa’s in. XD

Touwa clearly here thinking ‘dear god, I know I never want to go through that… O_o’

Honey, I am so sorry, but I make no promises. DX

That’s a very direct question, but no less then I’d expect from Banba. Though also… Kinda odd? What are you trying to establish here, sweetie? Why are you asking this?

This line is very important, clearly. They repeat it twice. Pretty sure it’s to make us understand that whatever is going on next ep, it’s bc the sisters are trying to protect each other. Like I said, I’m presuming that Tall Cheese is actually still in danger somehow.

WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO ESTABLISH W/ THAT QUESTION? And then he just accepts her answer? I’m confused…

I really can’t tell if he’s finding something odd w/ this, or if he’s accepting it bc he’s sympathising w/ her… DX Tatsuya is being unreadable too well! DX

And then she… Just starts singing? Like, I love this show, but… There could’ve been a better lead up to that.

Though I do love Naohisa reacting to the lights. XD

So… Was this just a random musical interlude, or… Was she doing something? I guess it was so that Kou could hear it and make the connection, but the execution could have gone a little better.

Banba takes that extra moment to pose. XD

Untransformed fight! ^^

I love how Banba just delays transforming to take off. :D

I needed to use a new emoticon.

Kou’s little ‘Ah!’ and pointing when the kids show up! XD

Girl in the lavender sweatshirt is going to cut something.

See, this is an effective use of the singing.

Uh… What. Melto, what does that… Whatever. Sentai logic.

Now he says ‘Okay, Tyra!’ instead of just ‘Tyra!’

SOMEONE TEACH HIM TOUWA AND BANBA’S NAMES!

Banba would be SO AWKWARD. XD

Oh, NOW you transform. XD Well, we wouldn’t have had that beautiful weapon toss if you had before. ^^

See? We bring up the line again, and there’s a weird sound cue? Does it mean anything?

Touwa sees the other smollest sib and must immediately go help her. XD

I do like the improve mobility of this mech. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adored the clusterfuck of orbs that was the Kyuranger mecha, but… It’s nice to seem something more dynamic once in a while?

Kudos the new suit actor, too. Whose name still escapes me… DX

Convenient train tracks. XD Sentai logic.

Actually, just Toku logic.

I love MirNeedle and his honk and his spinning attack. XD

Could you be more tsundere in one sentence???

Touwa’s just like ‘stages of realising your brother is a tsundere, stage 3: acceptance’

Kou doesn’t mind, though. XD

I do think Banba is starting to kind of like the trio, but boy is very damaged and the concept scares him, so he’s trying to fight it as much as possible, even though it’s just kind of a slight, vague fondness at this point.

Like, eventually, he’s going to end up adopting them, it’s going to happen, he’s going to have at least four younger sibs, actually five. But we’re not there quite yet.

I would love a ‘we’re not each other’s only family anymore’ sort of thing from the brothers. Or maybe one of the trio telling them that. XD

One day, a Mosasaurus will be in that empty spot, I bet.

Melto and Banba on the same wavelength. ^^

So… The Minusaur host is dead now?

This is cute, but I already know there’s more to this.

XD Oh, Banba. You’re starting to like them, I know you are. You’re not getting out of this. Though I do get why you really don’t want that to happen.

Though I do think his getting emotional next week is a partially due to it. ^^ Like, yes, there’s the fact that he’s mad at Kou for being too trusting, and that it might be dangerous for all of them/earth, but… I dunno. Probably overthinking.

But I’m gonna wax on about that shot in the preview later, don’t worry. XD

Or worry, if you don’t want to hear my rambling. In… Which case why would you even be reading this.

Melto on point again. XD I really need to write more w/ you… DX

Though on the other hand, I guess there’s a possibility that she could have read it in Naohisa’s papers at the house, or he said it to her. But she didn’t seem interested in the research, and they could just ask Naohisa if he mentioned it.

Hm… Maybe they’re waiting to update the ED until Gold gets here.

Why does Kou have the inflation Soul activated?

… That sounds like he knows way  more about economics than he actually does. XD

As far as the preview, I like the drama that seems to be happening. ^^ Maybe they’ll finally give us some slightly more concrete info on what happened to Banba. Or just… Anything about the brothers’ past? And what about that hooded person? The sisters are up to something, but they’re obviously being forced into it somehow, Wyzul is definitely the sneaky type. We’re also heading into May, which means DimeVolcano and possibly Gaisorg/Gaisoulg? Though he wasn’t in any of the scans so even if his figurine is releasing, we likely won’t be seeing him until the very end/month after.

Pleasedon’tbeGoldpleasedon’tbeGoldpleasedon’tbeGold.

There are so many better possibilities. DX I know who I want it to be (even though I don’t strictly know ‘who’ that is XD), but there are other possibilities too.

And while I would like to see next ep, I am also curious about the arc coming after it. I really wanna know if my crazed visual analysis madness was right about it only being the kids who are trapped in Wonderland and Banba is trying to get them out. I wanna know.

Hm… Does anyone know where the ‘newspaper summaries’ come from? Like, we got the ones from 5 to 7… Are we gonna get ones for 8 to 11 at some point?

I am an impatient baby. DX ^^;

That’s all folks! Virtual chocolate eclairs for anyone who read all that. But, actually, that’s not all! I still wanna ramble about something—namely, and silly personal theory/hc of mine.

Bc of this face:

Okay, so. During that conversation where Banba did the whole ‘Kindness can make one weak’ thing, I mentioned that I found Kou’s reaction interesting? Bc it might’ve been in his characterisation to get mad and insist that kindness does not make people weak—esp since he clearly still doesn’t think that. But instead, he just looked a little hurt, and looked sad? Like… It seemed to me he was more saddened that Banba thought that way at all than being offended by the statement. Not ‘how could you think that?!’ but more… Like ‘that’s so sad that you’ve been made to believe that?’ If that makes sense? That somehow, Kou caught on that Banba has this view bc he was hurt terribly in the past? And then there’s this face here. Boy looks like a sad puppy. It’s totally my skewed interpretation bc I had that thought before, but to me it looks like he’s looking at Banba like… Empathetically? Like he pities him? So now I’m falling even deeper into the idea that Kou doesn’t find Banba’s distrust of others insulting of offensive in anyway, but is just sad for the fact that someone could come to think that way. Realises that Banba is like this bc he got hurt and is scared, and is just heartbroken by that? That someone could get hurt so badly that they lose faith in nearly all goodness in the world? I might like it if there’s a moment where Kou proves he’s more thoughtful than he seems (like, he can be thoughtful, he has his moments—though he is still an impulsive, goofy doofus) by, like, outright asking Banba what happened to him. That’d def throw Banba for a loop, I think. This is, of course, just my overthinking and incoherent rambling. But I do like the idea. ^^ Last note: my god Tatsuya has pretty eyelashes! DX

[icharchivist]

Oh no I agree w/you on not being hard on fans who think differently. One of the reasons I like fan discussions is to read other people's thoughts and try to understand where the ones I disagree w/are coming from. That's just my personal view and reading of the character. I think lately the stress has been getting to Chaoji so he's extra harsh and that's going to be unattractive to Allen's friends. I also think he's wording things the wrong way. It'd be better if he said I'll fight the Noah -

2 instead of I'll fight Allen or telling Allen's friends to forget about him. In this way Chaoji is, whether he means to or not, making it sound like Allen is JUST a Noah. Which.... Is actually a interesting thought. What does the average person think how a Noah works? Does he think Allen is 100% gone now? *shrugs* Either way agree to disagree on some parts. I have no probs w/fans so forgive me if it sounded I was harsh to them. I was just naming of groups I saw and thought it was interesting.

Ahh alright, sorry then for the lecture! it’s fine, don’t worry now that it’s cleared up. 

I think i’m getting a little paranoid of some fandom arguments? especially when it starts to involve how some fans react to some controversial events. Bigger fandoms have been so filled with dramas (there had been a lot of push back against people liking not pure uwu characters that i get defensive at the idea of judging how someone may approach a controversial character they may like) i tend to end up having red flags over silly things i would probably have used myself a few years back. 

Your argument was fine, and honestly pretty mild in that term, i guess i’ve just had seen enough more virulent argument to be a little.. *alarms bells* upon reading some vague keywords. 

So my point is, my bad, i’ve got a little defensive there and judged your ask too harshly. I apologize.

Now back to the topic, yeah agreed on Chaoji. I honestly think Chaoji doesn’t know what details makes a Noah? I mean, the Order didn’t know before Road made her introduction and the Bookmen had to explain to them a few things. No one knows what it is like to turn into a Noah, no one knows about the awakened memories, and hell, the 14th is already a specific sort of Noah (i say it with all the love, but Nea isn’t a Noah Memory like Joyd is, he’s a parasite inside Allen’s body: his own being, not a memory that awoke in Allen, so even that when you know Noah’s development logic, is weird)

Chaoji didn’t become an exorcist until after the Ark’s arc and no one had any reasons too explain to that random crew man who was just helping carrying Lenalee around what little secrets they had learn about the Noah. So I think Chaoji still sees them as “they control the Akuma, they are rotten to the core, and once they turn there’s no come back”, perhaps projecting what he knows of the Akuma (which in which case is true, once an akuma, the only thing you can do is kill them with innocence for salvation - no attempt to really save them. Which makes me think, Chaoji did know Chomesuke- i think he wasn’t developped enough to have a reaction to him, but the fact Chomesuke had to destroy himself bc he couldn’t resist to its nature anymore might have added to this argument that there is no salvation for Dark Matter). 

For Chaoji I really don’t think he had the time to know about Noah stuff, and everything we know about how Noah comes to be come from Noah’s POV, so not something the Order may know, let alone a stubborn exorcist who hates them by principle. Allen tends to extend his compassion to non-humans because in a way... if he had seen Mana as non human the moment he would have turned him as an Akuma i think Allen couldn’t have stand it. (also i ended up mixing up with FMA but that reminded me of how Ed refused to kill the armor guys in the Lab 5 even when they kept saying they weren’t human anymore, because if he did so it would just imply that his brother isn’t human either and that it’s his fault that it is like that. I think the same reasoning can be applied to Allen @ the Akuma and extend to the Noah as long as the Noah are on the “side” of the Akuma. Ironically though considering “Mana” ended up becoming a Noah. Well. Always was, but you get my point)

Meanwhile the only strong feeling we’ve seen from an exorcist @ the Noah for being a Noah, was Kanda saying that since they are humans (which Skinn repeated) then they could be killed. Which i personally always took as a reassurance on Kanda’s part of reclaiming his own humanity and Alma’s, since they were denied it as kids and perhaps the only thing that, after all the horrors Alma had done, that made him human was that Kanda could kill him. Kanda asserting the Noah’s humanity in order to convince himself that death is part of humanity would, if i’m correct, be a sort of projection to protect that memory and identity, the same way Allen projects on others. 

But for the others, Lenalee had never hesitated around the Noah, even upon meeting Road, she quickly fought back. Lavi has a bad experience with Noah but he’s neutral enough to care more about what Allen wants in the end (when Allen wants to rescue Tyki the whole thing is about “the guys at the Order will look badly at it but if you think it’s important...” and not “why you do want to rescue the guy i wanted to kill a few hours ago”)Then there’s mainly Krory with the twins (and Lenalee to an extend) and I think there was too much irritation going on about them being brats more than them being Noah that went on there. 

But from Chaoji’s point of view who knew nothing about them, had spent his life hating the dark matter for taking what he loved, he saw.... Well Tyki playing with Lavi’s grief and threatening Lenalee, before trapping them in the Ark and trying to kill Allen, he’s seen Skinn  attack everyone and they then left Kanda behind with him, he’s been here a huge chuck of the Jasdebi fight just to see the Twins being Absolute Disaster Making You Lose Faith In Anything They Ever Represent (And It Happens To Be The Noah This Time) (did i ever mention that i love those stupid twins? I love them. They’re so dumb.), Road destroying Lavi’s mind and torturing Allen into forcing him to destroy Lavi, and finally the Lullubel attack on the Order that killed a huge amount of people. And if we extend the timeline to when he could have caught up his next meeting with the Noah in the Alma arc made him KO, kidnapped Lavi and Bookman who are now thought dead, and Fiidora’s parasites tortured him when he was powerless to save Lavi and Bookman, which might add some feeling of guilt there by the by. 

Without understanding of the Noah he just saw... the sheer destruction they brought along with them.

So Allen saying “I might become a Noah and you will have to kill me” - well I think seeing how horrible the Noah had been up to this point was enough for Chaoji to think that if Allen became one, it would override all of the good qualities Allen had. After all he has never seen the Noah before they became Noah.

Tbh It makes me even wonder if being introducted to Tyki in his human form (and Road to her human form as well but it’s more minor than how they befriended Tyki before that) may have made more possible for Allen to want to try to see that humanity. Because he saw this humanity with how Tyki behaved with his friends. More than just... hearing about “Oh apparently he has friends” that Chaoji would have heard from Allen, Lavi and Krory’s reaction upon meeting Tyki again. 

In a way, the fact Krory also has this association adding to how much he cares for Allen to relativise the way “becoming a Noah” might affect Allen - in a way Chaoji cannot. Because Krory saw Tyki having seemingly meaningful friendships with humans so, becoming a Noah wouldn’t come out as completely monstruous for him a way someone who just know the Noah might. (that, and also how his love for Eliade was serious and might make him more willing to believe in that humanity, even if Eliade told him in the end that she was just using him. Krory didn’t know she was lying - but he might hold on to that feeling).

So adding to all of Chaoji’s unchecked prejudice, there is this complete unknown over people he had only known as cruel. He has never seen their humanity the way Lavi, Krory, Kanda and Allen has. Then again yeah it doesn’t excuse anything because Miranda and Lenalee for exemple are in the same situation having suffered first hand from tortures from, well, Road for exemple, but trusting Allen above all while just as much in the dark. Even if depending how much the infos Bookman gave came to Miranda and Lenalee before Chaoji joined the Exorcist Group.

So that ended up being a lot of rambling dkjhfd but my point is that therefore, Allen is the one to see the humanity of the Noah the most, Krory and Lavi has reason to at least know personally Tyki’s human side to doubt how the Noah’s cruelty works, Kanda had had how he met with Skinn to approach it, else every exorcists before Chaoji was recruited might have heard a bit from Bookman but that’s it. Any other sort of acknowledging this humanity would come with trusting Allen. Which Chaoji doesn’t. 

And no one knows what “becoming a Noah” is like. And while Chaoji wasn’t there and i’m certain Lveille lied, but Allen did have a swift change of behavior and personality at least twice in the Alma’s arc for everyone to see (when talking to the Earl + when Kanda stabbed him). Even Johnny saw that. A second hand retelling could just convince Chaoji “well perhaps he had no control and it doesn’t matter what kind of person he was - once a Noah, you become a monster” and that could be enough.

That was a lot of ramble i’m so sorry dkjhfd but yeah. It’s a mess. 

And it’s just... there’s no way Chaoji can know. All he could do would be to trust Allen. Even seeking for answers isn’t exactly a position Chaoji is in, even if it would be preferable if he did question what he thought so far (like the others do) rather than just thinking “yup, he’s a goner, i’ll fight him”

if that makes any sense kdjhfd

idk Chaoji’s perspective is kinda fascinating to me. I dislike that he has it and doesn’t question it, but it’s fascinating to see how being emotionally disconnected from every elements we have ended up caring about can make someone like this. It really shows the price of emotional investment for me to see how Chaoji behave. He’s kinda the Counter-audience in that regard. And that’s what makes him fascinating, for as much as i dislike him as a person ahah. 

[pikapegasus]

081 "I can't fit into my favourite dress anymore" with star lord and Gamora please since I can't imagine gamora being like this so I'd like to read one.

“I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore.”

i’m an american heathen who spells “favourite” as “favorite”, muahahaha.... ;)))

i’m glad you sent this prompt in tho!!! i agree that gamora doesn’t seem like the type of person we’d expect to ever really react like this, which made it all the more fun to write, esp considering i’ve had a fair share of moments like this for myself even just in the past year (i fell victim to the infamous college freshman fifteen™ yikes BUT HAVE WE CONSIDERED: gamora endures something similar when joining the guardians bc of the change in lifestyle/diet and maybe bc peter wants to make sure she gets enough to eat,,,,, read on to find out more!!!!)

It’s one of the dresses Gamora had received during theirstay with the Nova Corps on Xandar, after they’d defeated Ronan. She’d worn itthe day they’d flown off in the “Milano 2.0,” as Peter had taken to calling itat first.

It isn’t very practical for battle, no, but she’d receivedother outfits for that. This dress is efficient for meeting with governmentofficials for the more “diplomatic” side (if they can even call it that) oftheir job, as such work is typically allocated to Peter or herself; the othersaren’t as…experienced in efficientlycommunicating with other parties without resorting to violence.

And, yeah, it’d been a pretty slim fit around her waist fromthe beginning, but she’s never been one to lose or gain any weight verynoticeably. But times have changed, her entire life has changed; her eating and exercising are no different.

Honestly, it doesn’t initially strike her as a big deal whenshe can’t get the zipper all the way up her back anymore because, whatever, it’sjust a dress. But there’s an almost sentimental value to it now, as itsignifies the time she’d embraced her new life as a Guardian of the Galaxyalongside the people she’d come to happily recognize as her family.

(Peter may have also mentioned it being his personalfavorite of her outfits so, uh, yeah, it might have risen in her own personalranking of her clothes for that reason.)

(Assassins don’t rank their clothes.)

(…Times have changed.)

She really shouldn’t be spending as much time as she isright now, back in her sleep clothes after giving up on forcing the dress tofit, holding the damn thing in her hands with a thoughtful frown. Again, shedoesn’t really keep up with her weight because it’s never been prone tochanging, given the harsh food-to-work ratio she’d endured under Thanos andRonan, so, if anything, she’s just confused.

Peter walks in on her confusion. He’s already dressed fortheir meeting with the Nova Corps.

“Uh, hold up, am I ready first?”he says, gaping at her. “Is this real?”

“Yes, this is real,” she says, still examining the dress.

“That…should not be happening,” he says, closing her doorbehind him. He crosses the room to stand beside her. They’re in what used to beher quarters, but given certain developments between the two of them, she now spendsmost of her nights in his room. “Is everything okay?”

She looks at him then, lowering the dress. She brieflywonders what he’d think of it; Peter’s never been one to judge (harshly) forphysical appearances, especially with her, but everything going on here—relationships,weight gain, feeling as “hot” as Peter often likes to compliment her—is foreignterritory.

“I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore,” she sayssimply, holding the dress down against her legs. She watches his face for areaction.

He appears caught off guard for a moment, eyebrows raisedand lips pursed, but recovers quickly. “Oh, the one from the Nova Corps?” Hegestures down to it in her hands and she nods. “Aw, man. That sucks. I reallyliked that dress, too.”

His voice is light, but she can’t help feeling disappointed,too. “I’ve…never gained much weight before.”

“You didn’t gain a lot,”he says, looking her over, and she feels suddenly scrutinized in his gaze. Sheholds her arms against herself more tightly, as if to conceal her body. “Don’tworry about it, babe. Everyone’s weight is always changing. I switch betweenpant sizes every now and then, too. It’s normal.”

Despite his reassurances (which do make sense logically),she can’t help but feel a little…embarrassed,she supposes is the proper word. She tries to ignore the heat rising to hercheeks. “Do you find me less attractive now?”

“What?” Now he looks reallytaken aback. “I didn’t even notice until you told me!”

She raises an eyebrow.

He lays a hand over his face. “Okay, yeah, bad response.What I meant was…it doesn’t matter tome. I mean, of course, you and your health matter to me, yes, but you gaining or losing weight doesn’t change how I view youas a person. Or how attractive I find you. Does that make sense?”

It does, but thisis still so weird and messy to her, nonetheless. Her conflicting feelings, especiallythis sudden lack of confidence in herphysical appearance, disturb her to no end. She tosses the traitorous dressonto her bed.

“After our meeting with the Nova Corps, we can go buy you anew one,” he continues when she doesn’t respond, offering her a smile. “It’llbe like a fun shopping date; I think couples on Earth might do that.”

“Sure,” she says with a shrug, turning back to her drawers tofind something else to wear. Fear lingering in the back of her mind warns herthat she may not have anything towear anymore, given her sudden weightgain, but she ignores it. The threat of humiliation upon failing to fitinto more of her clothes in front of Peter claws at her, prompting her to riflethrough her clothes rather roughly.

But Peter stops her, laying a hand on her arm. “Hey, Gamora,wait. Look at me.”

She turns to him with a small, impatient huff. “Yes?”

“You know I can tell when you’re upset,” he says carefully,reminding. “What’s really botheringyou? You can tell me anything, remember?”

“I know,” she says, then pauses. “I’ve just…never dealt withthis before, that’s all.”

“Growing out of your clothes?” he asks.

“Gaining too much weightto wear them,” she corrects, but her snap is weak at best. She feels just shortof defeated. “I always maintained my weight. Until…”

“Until now,” he finishes for her. “It’s natural, like Isaid. You’re living on a ship waymore now, you can eat pretty much whateveryou want whenever you want—since yousaid that was different, uh, before—and you can’t really do much running orjumping around on a space ship. Kinda goes with my first point. Your body’sjust adjusting, that’s all. Nothing to feel bad about.”

She studies him for a moment, turning his words over in her mind.Again, the logic is there, but her emotions are taking a bit longer to catchup. She frowns.

“This is your fault,” she decides, but her voice is teasing.“You always push me to eat.”

Admittedly, she’s gone to bed hungry more nights than shecan count in her life (maybe even more nights than not), but she can’t recall one since joining the Guardians.

“Hey, even a cybernetically enhanced assassin needs her fillof daily nutrients and shit, too,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender. “Andwe always have enough for everyone to eat their fill.”

That statement’s debatable at best, but Peter’s the type ofleader (and person in general) to ensure that those he loves are happy andhealthy, even at his own expense.

(Peter also has a habit of not finishing his dinner andoffering her what’s left on his plate. It had taken her a while to accept, butthey’ve now reached the point where he simply pushes his unfinished food acrossthe table to her and she finishes it off, no questions asked.)

(So, yeah, this weight gain is definitely his fault, at least a little.)

Finally, she’s smiling, and relaxes completely under histouch. “I suppose gaining weight is not horrible.”

“Yeah?” He grins. “’Cause now I’ll buy you whatever newdress you want after our meeting?”

“Who said I needed another dress?” she teases. “Why not anew blade?”

“How did my offerto buy you new clothes turn into new weapons?”

“They’re more practical.”

He hesitates there. “If you’re suggesting we start fightingbattles in the nude—“

“Not what I meant in the slightest.”

“—I have no objections. I’ll buy you any weapons you want,just for that purpose.”

She rolls her eyes, turning back to her drawers once more. “Ineed to finish getting ready, Peter.”

“Fighting with or without clothes, I think you’re beautiful!”he says cheekily, practically grinning from ear to ear.

She ducks her head more closely to her drawers to hide hersmile.

(He’s still debating between the pros and cons of wearingclothes into battle by the time she’s finally ready to go.)

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Crazy, Stupid, Love

Old Fashioneds for Charity: A Cocktail Philanthropy

The Setup: Kris actually gets into the long version of the Setup below, but this is also the first time all four of us have Reacted to Something together in real time! So it’s super long and a little clunkier than usual, but hopefully also fun. We’ll probably try to do it again at some point.

As always, post-chat annotations are in italics, and you can click on the first appearances of our names to see summaries of the TV shows, movies, and other things that influence our points of view.

LIZ: soo.. Crazy, Stupid, Love.. am I RIGHT?!

KRIS: I’m worried I’m going to disappoint all of you

(Are we all here?)

MARCHAE: Yes!!

MIRI: You laughed out loud multiple times while we watched

KRIS: Yes

MIRI: I don’t think you’ll disappoint us

LIZ: Kris, don’t be worried. We will just unfriend you on social media first and

THEN cut off all contact

IF THAT HAPPENS

MIRI: hahahahaha

LIZ: ❤️

MIRI: So, Kris--thoguhts?

MARCHAE: LOL

MIRI: Or thoughts

whichever you feel like

LIZ: I forgot so much.. Kris go first

MARCHAE: I want them ALLLL

LIZ: General opinion/ reaction then nitty gritty!?

KRIS: I guess I’d like to start with the [name of my writing teacher] story first

Just to explain how we got here

MIRI: Ok, please do

MARCHAE: storytime with kris 

KRIS: We’re just jumping right into like late second-act spoilers for Crazy Stupid Love, dear readers, all eight of you

MIRI: omg ❤️ 

KRIS: So [Writing Teacher] wanted to give us an example of subtext

And writing dialogue that doesn’t suck

So she gave us a scene, minus action description and names, and it’s a woman asking a man for advice on fixing a water heater

And she asks, what do you think this scene is about?

And we know it’s a trick question, but for whatever reason even the people who’ve seen the movie haven’t picked up on it yet

So the answers are like “she doesn’t really want to ask for his help”

LIZ: Sneaky. Love it

KRIS: And then [Writing Teacher] turns on the TV and there’s the title screen for Crazy Stupid Love, and some people are like ohhhh

And [Writing Teacher] doesn’t say anything and she goes to the scene, and obviously it’s not even remotely about a water heater

And more people are like OHHHHH yeah

And I was like, damn

That’s good

And I guess I was over at Miri’s, or maybe we met somewhere for something, and I was telling this story

MIRI: “Damn. That’s good. Maybe I should listen to Miri when she tells me to watch things”

KRIS: And it comes up that I haven’t seen the movie

And Miri is like

MARCHAE: (Which is still unbelievable)

KRIS:

MIRI: You’ve used that gif about me more than once

KRIS: Yes I have

It’s a good gif!

I like Elizabeth Jennings!

MIRI: And I am still complimented and also concerned

It is an excellent gif

KRIS: So this was October, I think

MIRI: I like her too but I’m not sure I should want to be her!

October sounds right

LIZ: I dont think his advice was even legit to be honest so don’t read it or watch it if you are struggling with a water heater issue!

Liz is looking out for us all, dear readers

READ THE MANUAL

KRIS: And every once in awhile it would come up and Miri sort of led this slow-but-steady charge of We’re Going to Make Kris Watch Crazy Stupid Love

and Kelly signed onto this in some capacity

Kelly is Miri’s roommate and another friend from our grad program

And obviously Marchae and Lemon

Reminder: Lemon = Liz

So here we are

MIRI: We’re humanitarians like that

Here we are!

KRIS: that was a looooot of preamble

sorry

MARCHAE: (And we had to get you on board with Hamilton too... kris I see a pattern) 

MIRI: I like the preamble. Now, tell us your thoughts!

KRIS: I liked it?

See this is why I’m worried about disappointing you

MIRI: Are you not sure about that?

Or do you just not have more expansive thoughts?

KRIS: No, I’m sure

LIZ: you did like it or you liked it ? 

KRIS: I’m sure there are more thoughts, but I’ll need some prompting, I guess

MARCHAE: I'm sitting on the edge of my seat her!!! 

Here* 

MIRI: Ok, we can prompt

LIZ: Who cares what we think! I took some notes because I forget a lot of things and a lot of my notes were sassy.. so what?

KRIS: I think the only thing I’d seen Gosling in before this was The Nice Guys

MARCHAE: Ok can you talk about the Ryan Gossling character 

LIZ: MASCULINITY

MIRI: WHAT

LIZ: GOD

MIRI: ???

LIZ: go*

KRIS: and probably a couple of episodes of Young Hercules

LIZ: hahaha

MIRI: WHAAAT?

LIZ: this is a topic for another day

MIRI: True

KRIS: I never saw The Notebook

MARCHAE: What!?!

LIZ: LASDKF;SLAKGJASL;KFJASLKJF

MARCHAE: What is happening!?!?!

WHAT IS HAPPENING 

LIZ: You need to want ALL OF IT EVERY DAY (the notebook that is)

KRIS: I can see there’s going to be a Make Kris Not a Philistine syllabus at some point

MIRI: YES

But also you have tons for us to watch too

KRIS: I guess where I was going with this is that I realized watching CSL that Gosling has pretty strong Brad Pitt vibes

MIRI: Focusing on this movie!

RYAN GOSLINGS IS SO HOT in this. And I love that he’s hyper masculine without being so in all ways.

KRIS: Does that seem right? Or was this not representative?

LIZ: Talk about... representation in this movie... I had a lot of questions about masculinity rewatching

MARCHAE: Ew

So did I liz 

LIZ: and then about how women are portrayed obviously always.. but what are your gut reaction thoughts

MIRI: Like, he’s got some slightly effeminate affectations that go with his kind of dandy vibe

MARCHAE: And Miri to be clear the ew was for you 

MIRI: Um ouch??

KRIS: Hang on I’m just pulling up IMDB to get character names

LIZ: ew what? he’s very hot

MIRI: You don’t think he’s hot?

LIZ: did you not see his body

MIRI: He’s hot!!

It’s like he’s photoshopped!

LIZ: HAHAHA exactly

MARCHAE: And now you liz. No i think he generally looks dehydrated and like he needs to bathe 

LIZ: ........

MARCHAE: The photoshopped line is funny but no 

LIZ: He has a tan?

MARCHAE: Go on Kris 

KRIS: Marchae’s descriptions of unattractiveness are always so specific

Miri: Marchae once told me she thinks the Rock looks like a toe and I have NEVER forgiven her for it.

MARCHAE: I am also tanned 

MIRI: Ohh, you’ve had this complaint about him before that he needs to wash

K: Marchae was not rooting for La La Land during the Oscars

KRIS: “dehydrated”

MIRI: Ok, let’s talk about toxic masculinity and this film’s deconstruction of it Because I’m into it

KRIS: OK

MARCHAE: Yeah the bags under/around his eyes -dehydration 

LIZ: lol at marchae’s tan.. and nobody’s here to say YOU ARENT HOTT! ❤️ 😉

MIRI: very true! 🔥

MARCHAE: Thanks gang 

MIRI: I think the film is pretty clear on the fact that Jacob’s perspective on women for most of the film is not super healthy or ok

(and also he could use some therapy)

MARCHAE: Ok so I did [rewatch] and I think because I knew we were talking pay more attention to how okay women are with RGs character 

MIRI: And we’re all tired of the whole The Right Woman SAVED Him narrative, but I do like that he has actual growth

I would argue that he’s a womanizer, but not a misogynist 

KRIS: (I did wish both Emily and Hannah had bigger stories in this)

MIRI: (or at least not to the extent of most)

Kris, I second that

MARCHAE: Same here 

MIRI: And not just because they are both such talented actors

The movie is mostly about the men’s growth

MARCHAE: Miri I feel like he might teeter on that line. He almost feels he has a right to these women he seeks out 

MIRI: But the women are allowed to be characters rather than set pieces more than most

MARCHAE: Kind of like that one that's the one I want and I will get her 

KRIS: Yeah, and of course it’s not inherently objectionable that this is a story about two dudes

MIRI: except the women they sleep with, mostly

Very true! I think we could use more stories about men having emotional growth and healthy friendships

MARCHAE: No not at all (three if you track the little boys story) 

YES!!! 

MIRI: The whole “You don’t ask them, you tell them that they want to come home with you” thing is not great. It’s pretty bad. But it’s also not the language that they ever use when actually talking to women--it’s always “wanna get out of here” type stuff

So I think that Jacob is not as much of a misogynist as he thinks he is!

I may be being too forgiving

But I love him

LIZ: I think he feels less entitled to the women and more just confident in his “game” bc consent is obviously important to him.. he doesn’t have to talk anyone into anything, which SHOULD BE THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS but unfortunately is not in real life and in how “wooing” is portrayed in film and what nots

MIRI: Very true! He’s super forward, but will take no for an answer without being creepy

KRIS: I feel like on the page Jacob would probably come off as more of a dick

Gosling underplays it in a way, he’s very not Frat Dude

MARCHAE: I agree Kris!

MIRI: When he first hits on Hannah he keeps talking as she leaves, but he never gets up or tries to stop her (Again, low bar)

Yes!!

The performance really makes it

LIZ: That character could’ve easily ruined the movie

the shopping with Cal part is especially lovely

MIRI: Love that!

KRIS: I think that’s because Hannah specifically was never really his objective; at that point she’s interchangeable with any other woman he might want to take home

LIZ: I am a sucker for physical humor apparently (throwing his shoes and slapping him(

MARCHAE: I don't generally love him and Hannah/Nanna notes the ridiculous nature of the game he plays 

MIRI: I also adore the section where they talk and have the infomercial stuff--one of my favorite film sequences

MARCHAE: So then I'm on board once the movie itself recognizes ok this guy is a doofus 

MIRI: Do we believe that he actually remembered hitting on her that one time when she kisses him? Or is he just going with it?

KRIS: That’s an interesting question

I think the intent is that he remembers her

LIZ: Gosling also never said like “all I want is to have the sexy times with as many women as possible”.. he just is kind of good at it.. I think if he ever said that was all he cared about or aspired to be... he’d be an asshat of the highest caliber

MIRI: I think the movie always knows that he’s a doofus, but doesn’t show its cards early

KRIS: I’m not sure if it’s the answer that makes the most sense or is the most interesting

MIRI: I’ve never questioned it before

LIZ: I think he remembered her bc she turned him down

and we don’t see anyone else do that

KRIS: I buy that

MIRI: Nice

MARCHAE: *YAS LIZ*

MIRI: Do we believe his redemption? Or change of heart or whatever?

LIZ: But then I felt like.. masculinity is kind of very set in stone and in stages of life in this movie

I know it is more complex

but does society kind of not ask it to be?

MIRI: Say more

What stages do you see?

LIZ: The kid with the crush ... the womanizer sexy young guy... the sad dad/ divorcee with his walking shoes and ill fitting clothes

MIRI: And are you saying the movie reinforces those ideas about particular types of masculinity or no?

LIZ: Cal is able to kind of morph into Goslings characters TYPE and I think at the end he is his own person and a NEW version of a man, but the ENTIRE movie kind of puts men in boxes.. which is FINE BC WOMEN ARE USED TO THAT TOO

KRIS: Is this kind of a Dan Fogelman thing? I’m not super familiar with his corpus

LIZ: and the douche boyfriend of hannah is kind of the alternative to the sexy young guy.. the safe boring young guy like SHOULD I MARRY KOKOUM.. STEADY AS THE BEATING DRUM? that shit

I am asking.. because I don’t know!

MIRI: Hmmm

KRIS: I think these are definitely all types/boxes but I don’t know if I’d map them into linear stages

MIRI: Maybe it’s more a question of him using and playing with types than anything else

MARCHAE: Liz I notes that too though not as eloquently 

KRIS: I got more of a “you can be this, or you can be that” vibe

MARCHAE: Noted*

LIZ: There is something to be said of the separated married couple trying to maybe make it work.. and the way Cal turns into a better human who cares about himself and then his life more too bc of that.. idk

yeah

MIRI: And then ultimately you can be you with an element of this and that if you want

LIZ: Like the wife is flawed, but open and trying from the first scenes where he rolls out of the car, which I appreciate

MIRI: While Cal’s journey gets way more screen time, I like the building blocks of Emily’s a lot

“Can women have midlife crises??” Yes, they totally can

LIZ: Yeah I agree, I’d have loved to see more Emily and Hannah

MIRI: And more of Liza Lapira, the friend!

KRIS: Also shout out to Asian Best Friend

MIRI: I love her and she never gets big enough parts!

LIZ: Right!?

MIRI: Kris, were weirdly in sync here and I love it

KRIS: There are like two not-white people in this movie and the other one is credited as “Hip Hairdresser”, so

MIRI: The phone call when Hannah is studying and ABF sees Jacob at the bar is hilarious

LIZ: She deserved to have something nice happen to her.. she gets creeped on by a fat old dude and gets to drool at Gosling! Not fair!

wow at hip hairdresser

MIRI: It is an extremely white movie

Like, down to the extras at the school and office

MARCHAE: Par for the course though for our friend Hollywood 

KRIS: Unless you count Emma Stone

Sorry

Too easy

I’ll show myself out

MIRI: HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA

LIZ: Yeah there is no reason why the babysitter and her family or the school staff or the people at the bar needed to be all white.. very gross

MIRI: Omg

It’s very 10 years ago, too

MARCHAE: *KRIS*

KRIS: Oh let’s see if we can finish this masculinity stuff but do remind me to come back to the bar set

as a set

MIRI: We will try

Kris, as our man do you have anything to say about masculinity?

LIZ: like the kid, the dad, the player, the douche.. then the kind of controlled by his wife married angry ish guy (the friend w the mays bag) those are the people to think of as a refresher of type of dudes

KRIS: I don’t know that I have any fresh insights you all haven’t covered

LIZ: insert(eggplant emoji)

well do you think that it has anything right or anything wrong?

MIRI: 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

LIZ: like the adolescent kid is actually given a good amount of depth

MIRI: There you go, Lemon

LIZ: thank you I didnt know if we could use those hhahahahha

MIRI: We can

MARCHAE: Can I say one thing

LIZ: well

🍆

MARCHAE: I did not love the end bit with the babysitter giving the kid the nude pics

MIRI: THANK YOU

MARCHAE: It was odd to me and not a thing I think a girl would do 

MIRI: I find that pretty grody

KRIS: Yeah I didn’t love that whole story honestly

MARCHAE: Like here is my gift to you young flower

NO

KRIS: And I understand that part of this is just my general aversion to humans who aren’t old enough to drink

MARCHAE: And No

MIRI: And technically distribution of child pornography since she’s 17

KRIS

K: As previously established, I am generally not a person who is won over by cuteness of the non-furry-quadruped variety. I’m the one who doesn’t say anything when one of the others sends baby pictures in our group text.

KRIS: But yeah, even the persistent text messages

MARCHAE: LOL 

Yes and he kind of quasi stalks her 

It's. Not. Cute

MIRI: Yeah, “I’m not going to stop sending messages that make her uncomfortable” is not great

KRIS: I guess I’m not sure when this came out in relation to our sort of broader cultural understanding of social media’s role in rape culture and harassment more broadly

LIZ: Technology moves so fast

KRIS: But that was all on my mind

MIRI: I think it was before that general realization

They still had slide out keyboard phones

MARCHAE: But not before the general realization of stalking 

And harassment 

LIZ: I think it is harrassment

MARCHAE: And the exchange of kid picks 

KRIS: Yeah

MARCHAE: No adult human said 

Young sir stop it's not cute 

It was all 

LIZ: I think things hit the fan sexting wise after this though

MARCHAE: Go get her! 

KRIS: BOYS WILL BE BOYS

LIZ: BOYS WILL BE RAPISTS HAHAHAHAH SO CUTE

jk but actually

Her crush on Cal was disturbing

like.. no.

MIRI: He is her dad’s friend!!!

LIZ: I was a hott mess in all the ways as a teen, but no!

MARCHAE: I guess I was lost on why it was supposed to be cute

MIRI: As creepy and not ok as the kid story is, I do like some od it

LIZ: The little girl.. the youngest.. Lets write her sequel.. she needs the most therapy

MARCHAE: I thought all of this the first time 

MIRI: Like it was definitely written by a guy not really getting the reality of rape cultre

culture

MARCHAE: RIGHT 

MIRI: but I do like that his idea of love is neither purely romantic or solely sexual. He sees her as his soul mate and it’s nice to see more than one aspect of attraction represented in one

MARCHAE: Or the reality of LIFE

KRIS: I feel like a lot of this movie works better than it should because the performances aren’t too broad

Like everyone’s actually pretty easy to empathize with

MARCHAE: I think you're right though 

If even one of them has been not redeemable it would have not worked 

LIZ: I think soul mates are kind of bullshit.. which isn’t unromantic of me, but more like... we see that this idea can force things that are not right and its not good for young people to fixate on someone like that!

KRIS: Even Jessica (babysitter) isn’t presented as hysterical or like, hormone-addled

MIRI: True

Oh I think soul mates are bullshit too

MARCHAE: The kids are all pretty self aware 

I guess that gives it the pass 

KRIS: So as uncomfortable as the story is when you take a step back, from pretty early on -- I’m thinking the car scene when Cal drops Jessica off -- she’s kind of restrained and thoughtful

LIZ: the only semi hysterical female is the teacher

but i think she is kind of fucked with in ways that bring that out

MIRI: My computer is being weird so sorry if my texts come in at a weird delay

KRIS: So I guess I liked that Jessica is afforded the same amount of humanity as anyone else, if that makes sense

LIZ: right

KRIS: Marisa Tomei!

LIZ: she definitely is

MIRI: I just like that the kid who’s jerking off to a girl also likes her as more than a sex object

Yes

LIZ: Ugh that is so gross

MIRI: Marisa Tomei is so funny

What's gross?

LIZ: yes she’s great

MIRI: Him jerking off with her IN THE HOUSE?

LIZ: Just thinking about having kids of either sex that age

I can’t pick which one would be worse

KRIS: ha

MARCHAE: But he also isn't apologetic to the fact that he's made her uncomfortable about it and that's what bugs me

LIZ: he does apologize at one point

MIRI: I genuinely am bothered by that too

LIZ: but it kind of takes his world being crushed

which is odd

KRIS: Well, I don’t like it as a story but I buy it from a 13-year-old

MIRI: All of the men need to Grow Emotionally in this movie

LIZ: I guess

yep

MARCHAE: But doesn't he say I'd do it again and she laughs 

MIRI: And the women mostly need to get outside their comfort zone, I guess?

K: I don’t think so, actually. I’d say it’s more something like, they need to be willing to say what they want/need from relationships, and/or don’t expect your partner to be a mind-reader.

MIRI: I like that reading. I also think they need to be willing to examine what they want for themselves--Jessica does’t end up with a partner but she seems to be happy and to have realized that pursuing a crush that inappropriate is probably not the way to go.

LIZ: I have specific questions at some point about certain parts of the movie

MIRI: Go for it!

LIZ: Hannah being seen as “chaste” by refusing Gosling’s advances kind of give her that angel dynamic, versus the slut thing that all of the women who readily go with him automatically might get, so then she DESERVES to hear about this parents and see his massage chair and be his one love... and I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THAT

also.. I did note.. “WHY IS HIS MASSAGE CHAIR IN THE GARAGE? PEOPLE ARE STARVING” which was in the moment but I stand by it

MIRI: I never thought of it that way. I assume she’s been sleeping with Human Valium

LIZ: I have more but THOUGHTS?

KRIS: I think it’s totally in character for the chair to be abandoned in the garage

But to your larger point, yes

MIRI: Yes Jacob needs to stop trying to buy happiness and start volunteering and giving to charity and funding cool research or something

I think he’d find it much more rewarding

KRIS: I definitely think there’s a (really familiar) undercurrent of assuming most of the women Jacob sleeps with are empty airheads

MIRI: Definitely

LIZ: “Old Fashionds for Charity” a cocktail philanthropy

MIRI: “Am I boring you? I’m totally boring you!”

Well there’s the post title

Well done, Lemon

LIZ: Spelled wrong

lol

KRIS: We can spell it right in the heading

MIRI: There goes our integrity 

LIZ: hahahhaa

MARCHAE: I didn't think they were airheads but maybe... as the kids would say

Thirsty 

MIRI: I think the intent is that Hannah is the one that challenges him, not that she’s virginal

But it’s still kind of shitty

LIZ: I don’t want to feel seem like Im hating on Hannah btw

MIRI: No, you don’t!

KRIS: Yeah, I think it’s like “Hannah is a Woman of Substance”

LIZ: Her awkward, wet, weirdness where she says what she’s thinking is amazing and I really identify with it.

MIRI: I am a little concerned that she went from being ready for Valium to propose to in a pretty heavy relationship with Jacob over the course of a rainstorm

Yes! Great moment of weirdness

When she’s asking about the logistics of his moves it’s amazing

LIZ: I felt like she thought he might and shed be flattered, but I think she also might have had a come to jesus moment if he HAD proposed and left also

MIRI: Fair

KRIS: I got the sense there was a little bit of a time lapse presumed after they get together

LIZ: bc its at a cheese cake factory type of place (not that nice even) at a mall

MIRI: There’s at least a couple weeks

But still

LIZ: oh for sure

MIRI: The El Torito Grill!

KRIS: I mean even if it wasn’t a super intense relationship I buy her not breaking up with him because Dad Says So

LIZ: oh yeah, she’s an adult... that is insane

MIRI: Definitely! 

KRIS: Oh, okay, so now that we’re here, I should say that the Twist worked well enough for me to say “Whaaaat” out loud

MIRI: But also she’s totally emotionally invested 

He did!!!

LIZ: because you thought nana was a grandma?

MIRI: It was great!

KRIS: Up until that point, I was sort of like okay, this is a charming movie but I don’t feel a need to rewatch it ever

LIZ: also they are so into their kids.. why does she not come up! it is kind of CONVENIENT

KRIS: But now I would maybe want to rewatch it to see how they plant that

MIRI: They plant it well!

MARCHAE: "Charming"

KRIS: I did have a moment earlier in the movie of like “huh, they cast two redheads”

LIZ: ha

MIRI: When Cal talks about his kids it’s always “my youngest” (rather than my girl) and “I have kids--plural!”

MARCHAE: That's true and he also just calls Hannah Nanna right?

MIRI: right

KRIS: Yeah, and they do sort of plant the banana thing in the not-proposal scene, right? 

Or maybe the earlier restaurant scene?

MARCHAE: Yeah! 

KRIS: So at no point was I like “buddy, that’s a stretch”

MIRI: Hannah Banana!

LIZ: thats good

KRIS: I would just be curious to spot all the pieces being set up

LIZ: they definitely are

MIRI: It’s a good rewatch

MARCHAE: I like it a lot actually 

LIZ: also.. there are cheesy parts.. which seem to be on the nose, but the movie is very self aware

like the rain starts and he says like “so cliche” or something

MIRI: Yes!

LIZ: but his kid is like “dad you did change, you just got new clothes” and I did think BARF OKAY NO

MIRI: And Emily actually mentions how things are “in the movies” when talking about midlife crises 

Like, a cliche lampshading of a cliche is still cliche

KRIS: That did jump out at me

MARCHAE: It knew these things 

KRIS: I don’t know if it bothered me but I don’t think I would’ve missed it either

LIZ: there was also a part about half way through where I realized why I like tv more most of the time.. like even if I had never seen it.. I knew what would happen and I am so sick of that fake roller coaster/ formulaic bs

MARCHAE: Does that make the movie smart

KRIS: I think it makes it self-satisfied

LIZ: No, but it is cute

MIRI: I think it’s both self-satisfied and cute

KRIS: sure

MIRI: Like, it’s a little annoying but I’ll allow it because I like the rest so much

MARCHAE: Fair 

MIRI: Also this is not at all connected to what we’re talking about but “I don’t want your slutty money” is one of the best moments ever

LIZ: oh yeah

hahaha

MARCHAE: And Emily's response was the best

LIZ: because it isn’t overdone or too dramatic.. it is kind of exactly how someone would think they are really telling someone off, but it is more like a passing strange comment built up in their brain

what about kevin

they say his name 3084028408 times and I have forgotten it

MIRI: David Lindhagen

MARCHAE: I was like was his name Kevin?buut I'm there now 

KRIS: I’d watched a couple episodes of I Love Dick shortly before this so I was like Oh hey, Kevin Bacon! but I don’t have deep thoughts

MARCHAE: I think the story could have easily been told without ever actually having seen him 

KRIS: I liked that he wasn’t a cartoon villain

MIRI: But then we don’t get the fight scene!!!

Which is amazing!

Yes! I think he’s a nice seeming guy who is a little shitty for going after a married woman

LIZ: yeah the fight scene is great

MIRI: He’s not a massive dick, but he’s not a hero

LIZ: nobody really is ha

MIRI: Jacob’s desire to punch him is great

KRIS: Yeah, exactly, I did like that a lot about the movie

LIZ: except when cal calls the bartender.. a cocktail servant that is the meanest thing 

Right that felt like real family

MIRI: But he’s definitely seen as being a dick for that

LIZ: like you can be mad at each other but still have a common enemy

MIRI: Even he knows it was dickish

KRIS: cocktail servant was weird, yeah

LIZ: yes he did

MIRI: Yeah I like the way the family can fight and still come together

Very genuine feeling

LIZ: another amazing part... “amy heard you crying in the bathroom. we all thought it was cancer.. thank god!”

and they don’t talk for a while but still kind of love each other and the what nots

KRIS: So about the bar set, I liked that Cal ended up back in that seat after having been in Jacob’s spot looking at some other balding sadsack who was obviously supposed to remind him of himself

It’s simple, but I liked that use of set geography to establish power dynamics

K: Off the top of my head, this AV Club article (on the study table in Community and the elevator in Captain America: The Winter Soldier) is my favorite little internet thing about using a set to establish, and then play with, audience expectations.

LIZ: with a straw!

MARCHAE: Ohhhhh nice!

LIZ: yeah

MIRI: Yes!

Very good use of space/visuals

My perpetual question about Jacob--is he supposed to be Jewish??

LIZ: I also don’t think any women go to that bar twice

for his whole scheme to work

MIRI: He says shvonz (I don’t even know how to spell that) and his name is Jacob.

This is my only evidence but I feel strongly about tit

LIZ: He feels Jewish and sometimes Italian to me haha

MIRI: Yes!

LIZ: maybe both!

MIRI: His actual pronunciation of words does not feel Jewish to me, but that could be regional

MIRI: Please note that I’m not trying to imply that all Jewish people must “sound Jewish.” For example, I have some of the speech patterns that characterize Jewish American speech but almost none of the pronunciations.

Yes, he could be both!

LIZ: but yeah the shvonz (autocorrect can’t guess a thing) seems like yiddish or pretend yiddish

MIRI: Definitely

LIZ: seems like eastern european with a spray tan and a come-as-it-pleases brooklyn accent

MIRI: (HOW MANY TIMES DO I SAY DEFINITELY IN EACH ONE OF THESE??)

LIZ: DEFINITELY A FEW TIMES

MIRI: hahahahahaha YES Liz

LIZ: no I didn’t notice hahaha

KRIS: About as many times as I say “like” and “for sure”

LIZ: or as many times as I ignore punctuation, spelling, capitalization, and grammar in general? jk that is always for me (IM NOT SORRY! I MAJORED IN IT AND I PROVED THAT I KNOW IT)

MIRI: hahahahahaha

KRIS: Marchae I feel like you must have four pages of handwritten notes, is there anything you’re dying to bring up that we haven’t covered?

MARCHAE: HAHAHAHAH  

This time I didn't have as many notes! 

LIZ: HA 

good! that means you just watched and enjoyed!

MARCHAE: My thing was mostly the odd kiddie crush bits that we covered 

KRIS: Yeah interestingly I feel like there’s not a lot to overthink here outside of larger cultural issues

LIZ: Why didn’t Jacob buy Cal’s drinks or some of his clothes?

His house is like.. clearly a 4 million dollar plus home

KRIS: Does he ever say what his job is?

MARCHAE: I also wanted to add that I want a story that focuses on Hannah and Jacob

MIRI: That’s true. Like, there’s a lot that’s done really well but it doesn’t take ling to say that

MARCHAE: He's a hustler kris 

LIZ: I think he got a large inheritance

KRIS: oh right

LIZ: (pillow talk exposition)

Hesssss a hustler babyyyyy

MARCHAE: Ha! 

MIRI: At least he’s not a scrub

LIZ: he knows about new balance rules and he eats pizza w a napkin!

KRIS: That pizza thing is actually the first moment where I thought of Brad Pitt

I think because of Rusty in the Ocean’s movies

LIZ: I think you can wear stylish and supportive footwear btw.. I didn’t like that message

MIRI: Sbaru Sbarro? 

I love that moment

LIZ: Brad isn’t my fav

MIRI: Yes, Jacob has some unhealthy rules

KRIS: But he has a similar low-key charisma

LIZ: If you think Brad is charismatic 

can you seriously go watch the notebook

MARCHAE: Brad Pitt does?

KRIS: I mean I’ve always liked him

MIRI: In Oceans he totally is

Whether you like him in general or not

LIZ: People don’t forget is all I’ll say about thim

MIRI: We should have Kris and Marchae do a Notebook reaction 

And Liz just annotates after

MARCHAE: See the notebook makes me cry 

LIZ: oh yes

of course it does

(no spoilies)

MARCHAE: I won't  

I'd be down! 

LIZ: 😀

MIRI: Ok, anything else we want to say about CSL?

KRIS: I don’t actually harbor DEEP resentment toward Emma Stone for Aloha

MARCHAE: HAHAHA

KRIS: I just hope she makes better choices in the future

LOOKING AT YOU, JOHANSSON

MIRI: Agreed

UGHHHHHH agreed

MARCHAE: Yes!!!!!!!!

MIRI: Like, learn from your mistakes

Stop making even bigger ones

K: Actually I just realized, I’m not sure what else you’re referring to besides Ghost in the Shell.

MIRI: Lucy. While not actually a case of whitewashing, it is pretty bad on the Yellow Peril front and she caught some flak for it...and then upped the ante by playing a Japanese character in Ghost in the Shell.

K: Look, I stopped paying attention to Lucy the second I realized it was premised on that “we only use 10 percent of our brains!” horseshit. 

But Johansson didn’t write Lucy, and it was what “proved” she could carry an action movie on her own, so I’m inclined to cut her slack there that I’m not willing to cut her for taking on a specifically whitewashed lead role in Ghost. Expecting actors to answer for writers and directors (in this case Luc Besson) is a slippery slope. Go too far, and it’s like blaming Candice Patton for The Flash writers’ inability to make Iris more than a damsel in distress for longer than half an episode at a time.

MIRI: Very true! I think Lucy is excusable, but Lucy and Ghost combined makes for an uncomfortable pattern. And yes, the 10% of the brain thing is ridiculous.

KRIS: I do like the whole Woody Harrelson Introduced Emma Stone and Brie Larson and Jennifer Lawrence to Each Other thing

MARCHAE: YES MADAM HOT SAUCE DISAPPOINTED ME

LIZ: Amazing

KRIS: We have to talk about this Madam Hot Sauce thing

And we will -- or at least, Marchae will, with our very first Guest Reactor sometime in the next week or two. Because apparently “Madam Hot Sauce” is what Marchae calls Scarlett Johansson, and Marchae has discovered that she has strong opinions about the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

[robotlesbianjavert]

it’s my main dude’s bday snape my buddy my pal i don’t got anything to contribute but hey what about his top seven moments.  what i specifically as an individual consider his top seven moments, while keeping in mind, he has a lot of great moments and it was painful paring it down like this.

it was going to be top five bc i was too lazy for a top ten but couldn’t justify fitting what i wanted into a top five and hey seven is the magic number right

SEVEN

‘It has happened,’ she told the silent staff room. ‘A student has been taken by the monster.  Right into the Chamber itself.’

…Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and said, ‘How can you be sure?’ 

(Chamber of Secrets, pg 217)

chamber of secrets may have been his smallest role, but i had something cheesy to say then i got embarrassed by just how much i love this tiny easy-to-miss bit.  it just think it’s nice.  

also shout out to all the times he kicked lockhart’s ass.

SIX

Dumbledore opened his eyes.  Snape looked horrified.

‘You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?’

‘Don’t be shocked, Severus.  How many men and women have you watched die?’

‘Lately, only those whom I could not save,’ said Snape. 

(Deathly Hallows, pg 551)

honestly, a crucial moment in understanding how snape’s priorities have broadened since his defection, principally to save lily’s life and then to act in her memory.  but this (whatever dumbledore and snape himself might think about the underlying motives) suggests that even though snape’s never going to be nice, he is capable of caring about the other lives lost in this war.  at the same time, we’re reminded that by virtue of his undercover role, snape’s ability to save and protect other people is highly restricted, now moreso with harry (the central figure in his lily-related incentive) than anyone else. and i just think that’s neat.

also since they’re part of the same sequence, shoutout to “Would you like me to do it now?  Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?” and his attempt to save lupin during the seven potters battle and accidentally cutting off george’s ear that’s hilarious of course that happened.

FIVE

Snape smiled.

‘Before I answer you – oh, yes, Bellatrix, I am going to answer!  You can carry my words back to the others who whisper behind my back, and carry false tales of my treachery to the Dark Lord!  Before I answer you, I say, let me ask a question in turn.  Do you really think that the Dark Lord has not asked me each and every one of those questions?  And do you really think that, had I not been able to give satisfactory answers, I would be sitting here talking to you?’

She hesitated.

‘I know he believes you, but –’

‘You think he is mistaken?  Or that I have somehow hoodwinked him?  Fooled the Dark Lord, the greatest wizard, the most accomplished Legilimens the world has ever seen?’

Bellatrix said nothing, but looked, for the first time, a little discomfited. 

(Half-Blood Prince, pg 31)

actually managing to shame bellatrix for thinking that he could possibly be capable of bamboozling the dark lord like holy shit how does he keep a straight face!!!!!  (the best part is that she doesn’t live to find out she was right this is hilarious and badass)  like bitch!!!!!  bitch!!!!

FOUR

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: If you’re late for class, why are you not heading back to the school?  Why are you heading to the lake?

There’s a moment of pure silence.  And then SNAPE does something hugely unusual – he smiles.

SNAPE: How long have you suspected?

UMBRIDGE rises off the ground.  She opens her arms wide, full of Dark Magic.  She takes out her wand.

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: Years.  And I should have acted upon it far earlier.

SNAPE is faster with his wand.

SNAPE: Depulso!

UMBRIDGE is propelled backwards through the air.

SNAPE: She always was too grand for her own good. There’s no turning back now. 

(Cursed Child, pg 194-195)

not only is this hugely satisfying just in general because, ykno, umbridge – but it’s nice to see one universe where snape is actually able to ditch the undercover bullshit and act openly, even if it’s just for a few moments.  the fact that those moments involve him giving hope to an increasingly despairing and hopeless scorpius is even better.

THREE

Snape strode forwards, past Dumbledore, pulling up the left sleeve of his robes as he went.  He stuck out his forearm, and showed it to Fudge, who recoiled.

‘There,’ said Snape harshly.  ‘There.  The Dark Mark.  It is not as clear as it was, an hour or so ago, when it burnt black, but you can still see it.  Every Death Eater had the sign burnt into him by the Dark Lord.  It was a means of distinguishing each other, and his means of summoning us to him.  When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to Disapparate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side.  This Mark has been growing clearer all year.  Karkaroff’s, too.  Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight?  We both felt the Mark burn.  We both knew he had returned.  Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord’s vengeance.  He betrayed too many of his fellow Death Eaters to be sure of a welcome back into the fold.’ 

(Goblet of Fire, pg 616)

gof is the first book i clearly remember reading myself – i knew the plots of ps and cos (either through the movies or my mom), knew there was a werewolf in poa, but it was gof that some visiting family decided to bring me as a present when i was nine.  i remember being fucking furious with snape at several points – especially the teeth incident and when he read those magazine articles out in class.  I sat there going “wow he’s terrible i will never ever like him” and then i got over it in like a chapter or two bc i was nine also i laughed a bit?  in conjunction to my anger.  terrible.

anyways by the time this moment rolled around, i was over that kneejerk anger and fully intrigued by whatever the fuck was up with this weird asshole, unaware that i’d be completely hooked for it’s been over a decade now holy shit??

anyways outside of me being nine, this is a real ballsy moment on snape’s part – a last ditch effort to make harry & dumbledore’s story credible in fudge’s eyes, and a risky thing to do in case fudge decided to react differently.

TWO

And now Snape stood again in the Headmaster’s study as Phineas Nigellus came hurrying into his portrait.

‘Headmaster!  They are camping in the Forest of Dean!  The Mudblood—’

‘Do not use that word!’ 

(Deathly Hallows, 553)

we’re all agreed that snape throwing a slur at his friend, although he was sixteen and being assaulted at the time, is incredibly inexcusable & terrible and lily was super right in cutting off her ties with him at that point.  strangely enough tho, a lot of people want to freezeframe snape’s beliefs and ideology during possibly the most vulnerable & lowest period of his life .  snapping at phineas for calling hermione (a student he does not even like) a “mudblood” suggests that he has dealt with his past anti-muggleborn views, the only character we see doing so in the main series – did draco apologize to hermione for calling her mudblood like a gazillion times in cursed child i can’t remember that’s not important this ain’t about draco.

ONE

…as Snape awarded Hufflepuff another penalty for no reason at all.

(Philosopher’s Stone, pg 163)

classic.  

[reginasrandomthoughts]

So when I finished reading chapter 4 (”Survival”) of A History of the World in 10 and a half chapters  I knew that that was pretty much the end of the progress I made today with my reading list. For one, I have stuff to say about and for two, I have other stuff and exams to prepare for. (Hey, ho! Icons on Film essay, I am so not happy to see you)

 So, I usually ramble on for myself and I have no structure to anything at all, so here I will try something different, and just write small reminders for me about each element or theme. Or will try. I know me and I have no illusions left. 

 I think that it is only fitting to start with the reindeer since that is what the story starts with. The reindeer that had premonition on Noah’s Ark and tried to run away from man, who will bring that bad thing on. The reindeer and animal cruelty. 

 Animal cruelty, animals paying for man’s sin is an established theme at this point and here it is very explicit: the Soviets exploded a nuclear bomb over Siberia and the radioactivity poisoned the food the reindeer ate and that poisoned the reindeer. But what humans cared about was that they could not eat its meat anymore. Since it became inedible for humans and they did not want to bury it, they fed it to an animal they thought unpleasant: the mink. This is how the story presents it. The mink of course gets slaughtered for its fur to make coats out of it and it still gets to humans, but the kind who would wear that coat presumably does not care about the radioactivity. 

 Another point of animal cruelty is the cats. Her boyfriend, Greg argues that they need to neuter Paul, the cat because he is too aggressive. Kath (whose name’s similarity to the word cat probably is not a coincidence) wholeheartedly disagrees. She thinks that mutilating an animal is a sin. ( I kinda agree with her on this. As a fellow owner of a male cat). But Greg is not the only one who is cruel to animals to fit his needs: in one version of the story Kath picks up another cat, Linda and keeps them on a boat with her and nearly starves them to death bc she is ignoring reality. 

Now, here is a quote from p87:

“Burying things gives you a proper sense of shame. Look what we’ve done to the reindeer, they’d say as hey dug the pit. Or they might, at least. They might think about it. Why are we always punishing animals? We pretend to like them, keep them as pets and get soppy if we think they’re reacting like us, but we’ve been punishing animals from the beginning, haven’t we? Killing them and torturing them and throwing our guilt at them?”

 For Kath this is purely a reference to the reindeer and what the government did to them. But she also connects to it through bringing in another topic, the inability to face reality and projecting. Out of Kath’s two alternative storylines she is torturing her animals: she disregards reality and does not notice that she is hurting them, argues that she is doing something good for them, feeding them fish (that she has no problem killing) but in reality she is starving them. An argument for this timeline can be made by her first claim that she feeds fish only to the cats while she eats canned food. She does not eat fish, because there is no fish to be eaten and reverts to eating the hallucination when she runs out of real food. In the alternative story, Kath’s reality, she is projecting her guilt on them, regardless of how real that version is. She is saying that she left everything behind to save them, as a modern Noah, she acts like protecting them will make her life better and wash the human sin off of her. And in case she is starving them, she projects her guilt onto them via the illusion: she feels guilty so she pretends they are getting fatter rather than thinner. 

Since both the upper mentioned topics are still very big and interconnected let’s tackle two smaller ones first discrimination and abuse (and Kath).

Discrimination is going to be the easiest to start with, because I already talked about it. It is a major theme of the book. So far we have seen humans discriminating between animal species (ch1), humans discriminating between human nationalities (ch2), humans discriminating between species (human and animal in ch3) and now we see humans discriminate between genders. Kath and Greg, I am sorry to say, are both sexist: Greg thinks Kath is stupid and doesn’t get what the men are talking about because she is a woman. He degrades her by calling her a cow, he figuratively lowers her to the level of an animal, to something less than human. Kath, in turn views all men as irredeemable. All the man must be like Greg because to Kath Greg is the “typical bloke” and since he is an abusive jackass, the antagonist of her life, all men must be villains as well. 

And Greg is abusive. He slaps Kath around, he degrades her, he belittles her. Yet Kath says that this is typical. Ordinary: 

“Greg was an ordinary bloke. Not that I wanted anything different when I met him he went to work, came home, sat down, drank beer, went out with his mates and drank more beer, sometimes slapped me around a bit on pay-night. We got on fair enough.”  

To Kath, him hitting her, a man hitting a woman is ordinary. Just part of the package. She was not looking for anything else. She oddly enough draws a direct connection between him hitting her and them getting on well by putting the two sentences next to each other. And from the hospital storyline (I am calling it that) we learn that that is, indeed, the case: Kath was looking for someone just like Greg, someone abusive, that she has a history with dating men like that, that she has Persistent Victim Syndrome. Now, in one timeline this is bollocks. In the other Kath is ignoring reality, really hard: she ignores that Greg being abusive is not okay, she ignores her dating history, she ignores the break-up. In this timeline there is no war, there is just one big fight, a bad break-up, the fall-out, and a post-Greg timeline, where kath is pushed to the breaking point and reality starts to slip because of all the stress and abuse of her life, and perhaps a natural tendency to ignore reality. 

Kath has a tendency to ignore reality. She believes that reindeer can fly just so she can believe that anything is possible. Her faith in that is unshakable. She is a sensitive, deeply empathetic woman who is easily touche by the suffering of animals and is attuned to the stress and dangers of her time. She has a tendency to cling to the unreal even in the face of evidence to the contrary and she may or may not be going insane. 

As a throwaway, I found it interesting that her name is Ferris. The first associations from that, for me, are ferris wheel, something that is just going round and round in circles, and ferryboat and ferry as in carry something. With these associations Kathleen Ferris fits into the theme about Noah and his animals: she like Noah gets on a boat to carry her animals to safety, but in the hospital timeline she ends up delusional and going in a circle, like a ferris wheel and, as she points out, humanity. In her-reality timeline, she insists that she is starting over again, and if that is the case she is starting again from the beginning, her being the new Noah, but purely for cats. Also in the hospital timeline, she herself becomes the ferryboat, carrying these ideas in her own head taking them away from reality, that has become uninhabitable for her. She says she does not look at the way she came because she does not intend to go back and in the end she makes up her mind to accept the her-reality to be the real reality. 

Now as the finale let’s talk about the two timeline of events and how ignoring reality and projecting comes into play. There are two possible timelines: 

 In the hospital timeline Kath breaks up with Greg and that combined with the stress of a looming nuclear war makes her snap and she becomes delusional, believing that the war did broke out and that she needs to get her cat, and the other cat she randomly picked up, away from the war. She gets stuck on a boat where she goes around in circles while her cats starve. She becomes ill and tears her hair out but gets rescued and has lucid moments in the hospital that she interprets as a hallucination until she finally retreats into her make-believe world.

 The other timeline, the her-reality is where everything is as Kath says: the war breaks out she grabs the cats, gets onto the boat, feeds them fish, gets sick from the whatever poison got into the air, finds an island where her cat Linda gives birth to the kitten of her other cat, Paul. 

Now, me being a born pessimist, I lean towards the hospital timeline. But I guess each to their own? I guess. Anyway, what we are talking about is themes and not definitive answers. The Theme of ignoring reality play a part in both of those and roughly the same way.

In the hospital timeline Kath ignores reality from the point onwards when she broke up with Greg, so everything after that is just her blocking out reality. To her a fictional reality where she can step away from the complicated human society that has so many stress-inducing problems is appealing even at the cost of having the new reality that probably most people are dead now and the air is poison. This post-apocalyptic fantasy is escapism, escape from humanity, its sins, its problems. And Kath can escape from her own life and own choices as well: the choice to date Greg, the break up, everything. And because she retreats from reality she has to project her own into its place: her reality. 

Her reality is that humans are ignoring the signs (we are) and that it has gotten t a point where the nuclear war broke out without anyone noticing. They are ignoring the reality to project a peace and to push the responsibility to solve the problem onto someone else. Now, in this line of events the flashes from the hospital-timeline are the delusions: they are Kath’s struggle to let go of the old world, to fight against escaping into a fantasy land where all of this is just a bad dream and she is just sick but will get better. 

So from the perspective of the themes it really doesn’t matter which timeline is correct.