#again the ‘doesn’t sound like shinee’ argument which again. ok fine maybe you don’t know their concept so people saying it doesn’t sound

[acebytaemin]

if everyone’s making such a big deal out of hard ‘not sounding like shinee’ imagine how people of today would’ve reacted to ring ding dong LMAO

[narutakijune]

About ATLA Relationship Arcs

So, this is me, finally trying to write some meta after lurking in my little tumblr corner for months! Hi!

Although I’ve tried to tag properly, if you are a Kat*anger and just want to enjoy your favourite couple in peace, this might not be the post for you. I am not trying to bash characters but I do have a lot of critical stuff to say about the writing.

Anyway, you have been warned and here is my story about my personal first Atla experience: I watched the show this year for the first time, and after the end of Book 1 I decided to look up spoilers, because after what happened to Yue, I wanted to make sure that Zuko and Iroh would be ok. So I knew what was going to happen: Kat*ang endgame and absolutely no Zutara at all. Still, by the end of Book 3, I was convinced that I had read wrong - that there would be an epilogue with a different ending or at least that Aang would only get together with Katara post-show- in that Korra series or something - because anything else wouldn’t make sense- right?

….

After I got over my shock and surprise, I went online and found out about that decade-long aggressive passionate ship war and how even the showrunners got involved.

And then I really worried that I might have missed a few points. Apparently ”Aang and Katara were the DNA of the show”, according to the creators themselves, and “Zutara could never have happened”.

Another popular anti-ZK argument I found was: Why do you always go on about Katara and Zuko? Just look at Zuko and Aang! They are the hero/ anti-hero and each other’s foils, their relationship is much more meaningful!”

So I tried to find out what it was that I apparently couldn’t see.

(Another disclaimer: I love analysing stories (like many Zutarians apparently) and this will get long and rambly. If you get bored to tears when people start talking about “narrative structure” you will probably not like this.)

Talking about narrative structure, I do believe that, in order to let your story, your characters and their relationships really shine, a good basic structure is important. There should be a recognizable development and individual parts of the story that build upon each other and lead to consequences and change, until there is a completed arc - because it is all about the journey that takes you to a satisfying ending, right? So that’s what I tried to do, with my personal Kat*ang vs. Zutara take, I tried to look at the structure and development of their relationship arcs.

The argument that threw me off track for a while is that compared to Aang and Zuko, Zuko and Katara’s relationship is not supposed to be that relevant for the plot. After all, Zuko is the foil, the anti-hero, the deuteragonist to Aang, who is the hero protagonist.

This is all true of course. But then why is it that in every finale, Zuko’s main opponent (and later ally) is not Aang but Katara? Why is it that their sun/moon, red/blue, fire/water dichotomy is so obviously highlighted?

I think one reason why Zuko and Katara are paired off so frequently in the story - as opposite elements, as opponents and as allies - is that they BOTH are Aang’s deuteragonists. While Zuko also acts as antagonist and Aang’s foil/mirror, Katara takes over the more traditional deuteragonist role of confidant / best friend/ narrator.

Protagonist Aang is what connects them, although they are on opposite sides: Both need Aang because he represents their hope to save their world. Very simply put, Katara protects him, so he can make the world a safer place again, and Zuko wants to capture him, so he can go home and be safe again. That rivalry between them is already established in the first episode, even before they meet each other: Katara, who hopes that the Avatar will return (as she tells everyone in the intro), and Zuko, who seems to be obsessed with finding him for more sinister reasons.

And just to make sure, I am not talking here about the characters’ feelings and emotions! This is just about the abstract roles they have been assigned within the narrative.

When regarding Zutara’s special connection to Aang and their rivalry with each other, it makes absolute sense to stress their “same but different”ness as well, visually and metaphorically: Red and blue, fire and water, sun and moon, arguably Painted Lady/Blue Spirit, and, when you put into account their story arc, also Oma and Shu.

With this basis, which puts them together and sets them apart simultaneously, their relationship already becomes very dynamic and interesting, even before you consider any romantic potential.

And here’s another thing, Zuko and Katara also have their own story arc within the main plot. Although they don’t have many scenes together before Zuko joins the Gaang, when they do meet there is always a new shift in their relationship and in quite a few cases their interactions are important for the main plot as well. If you just look at their “end fights” at each book’s finale, there is an obvious and consequential build-up, like any decent story arc should have:

Book 1 starts with Zuko as the powered-up enemy and Katara as the weak newbie waterbender. Both are battling over Aang. At the end of Book 1, they are finally established as equally powerful fighters but still fundamentally different (You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun!)

In CoD at the end of Book 2 happens the next step: they realize that they are not different at all! But Aang still doesn’t represent the same for them and they end up on opposing sides of the war again.

In the Book 3 finale, when Zuko has completed his own (anti-) hero's journey and Aang represents the same “hope” for both of them, they do not only join forces: Their “same but different”- traits make them such a uniquely suited match that they are even able to save each other’s lives during their fight with Azula (who in turn happens to be Katara and Zuko’s antagonist/mirror/foil).

And in addition to their own story arc they even get an individual recurring theme, which also appears in every book whenever their relationship status changes: The lost mothers, especially Katara’s mother.

In Book 1, Katara’s necklace (the symbol of Kiya) plays not only a major part in two of Zuko’s capture attempts, it is the reason for their very first one-one one encounter in the story.

Their first friendly connection in COD in Book 2 happens because they start talking about their mothers. And in Book 3, their final reconciliation (sealed with a very cathartic hug) happens after their life-changing trip which is, of course, all about Katara’s mother.

Again, I am not even trying to analyse their characters and motivations within the story - there are many metas that have already done that much better, more detailed and with screenshots. This is just dry structure and tropes and themes. But I think people recognize and connect with a well-structured arc, even subconsciously, which is one of the reasons that makes Zutara such a compelling couple. They complete and contrast each other, their relationship dynamic constantly changes, builds up, falls apart, reconnects. Such a setup is the perfect playground for a lot of creative takes on what-ifs and alternative scenarios and of course, shipping them romantically is extremely tempting - think of all the possibilities! It’s no wonder that the Zutara fandom is still so active decades after the end of the show. And it’s also no wonder that the Zutarians are known for “over-analysing everything”. You can only over-analyse if there is anything that gives you enough food to analyse to begin with. Which brings me to

KAT*ANG

I just go right to the top and take the quote from Br*yke themselves:

Kata*ng was in the DNA of the thing from the start…. [Zutara] was just dark and intriguing.

If you read this quote and then start watching the show, I would (grudgingly) agree that:

Aang and Katara understand and complement each other really well. Aang gives her the chance to have fun and go on adventures and in turn, Katara is his fiercest supporter from the very beginning, something that he really needs after he lost all his people AND has to find out that the world thinks the war is sort of his fault. In turn, the journey to the North Pole is as important to Katara as it is to Aang, because it is her dream to learn waterbending properly. That’s what she literally says when Sokka & Co try to banish Aang: (Sokka: Where do you think you’re going? Katara: To find a waterbender. Aang is taking me to the North Pole.) In that way, they are friends who give and take equally and are equally taken care of. They even have the last Airbender/ last Southern Waterbender status that connects them. The few times they have a fight, Aang does something in the end to redeem himself (perform some heroic feat) and Katara sees that she is right to believe in him.

Aang has this very sweet crush on her and it will be very sweet and wholesome when Katara will return his feelings at the end of their adventure after he has hit puberty. On the other side, there is also some heavy shipbaiting with Zuko: I save you from the pirates. The betrothal necklace. June and her excellent shipping taste. But in the end they are enemies, they barely know each other and, come on, it would be too dark and intriguing! There is no real threat against friends to lovers Kat*ang, the soft heart of the story. It’s very straightforward and there are a lot of simple “the hero saves the day” scenes for Aang but that’s fine! It’s not really my kind of ship but that’s not the point, it works for the story they want to tell.

End of Book 1.

In my - probably harsh- opinion, everything you really need to know about the Kat*ang relationship has been told by this point. If you want to be really mean, already by Book 1, episode 3.

That explains maybe why many (not all! but many) pro-KA arguments sound as if their shippers have not watched Book 2 and 3 at all. The Book 1 synopsis also perfectly sums up Bry*ke’s quote above. But then Book 2 and 3 are still there and I don’t know what happened but it seems as if they somehow decided that the Kat*ang story does not need any new and lasting input. Maybe because they were afraid that too much new development and change would stray too far away from their original Kat*ang vision. But there are still 2 more books and more adventures and Kat*ang somehow has to be kept apart until the finale.

So the tension in their potential romance is based largely on the question whether or not Katara will return Aang’s feelings. In general I don’t have a problem with that will-she-won’t she-technique. It works well in books where the love interest is not a POV or in shows/ movies where the love interest is not one of the main characters. But Katara is not only the female lead but also arguably the narrative voice of the whole story! As a result, this kind of writing makes Katara look as if she doesn’t have any agency in their relationship, which is not surprisingly a very popular anti-KA criticism.

Additionally, since her dream - learning waterbending - has been fulfilled by the end of Book 1, the relationship work becomes a bit one-sided. Of course Aang is the hero and his journey is the heart of the story. But in order to highlight their special connection it would have helped to give Katara another personal agenda, which Aang could have supported in some way. She is still the last Southern Waterbender and he the Last Airbender but this is not really explored in the Kat*ang relationship. And her other personal agenda, her mother, is already reserved for the Zutara arc.

Instead, in Book 2 and 3 the Kat*ang story is somehow all over the place. Of course there is new conflict and a few romantic scenes as well. But obstacles are either introduced too late or just dropped when not needed anymore, conflict is not resolved and their flirty, romantic moments never lead anywhere- and if they do, they lead to more conflict that is not resolved (yes, I am looking at you, EIP Kiss!).

Take for example Katara’s very sudden argument that they cannot be together now because there is a war going on. We hear her saying that for the first time in the very last episode (EIP) before the 4-part finale. That is too late to have any impact! That she has these kinds of thoughts was never even alluded to before. Not once.

Or the pattern Aang runs away/ is flaky - Katara is upset - Aang comes back and does his hero thing - Katara is relieved. In regards to their relationship arc, nothing changes here between Book 1 and the finale, only the stakes for Aang’s heroic performances get higher.

Or Katara being the one who is able to calm Aang down when he cannot control the Avatar state (which, in my personal opinion, is neither romantic nor healthy). This is also connected to the problem with the seventh Chakra, that Aang needs to let go of his attachment for her. I will be angry forever with how they wasted this for a possible relationship development! That Aang has to decide to either do his duty or save his forever girl (because let’s be fair, he did try to let go and only ran when he had the vision of Katara in danger) - that’s a fantastic setup!

But no, it doesn’t have any real consequences for Kat*ang at all. Instead there were only half-baked attempts – Aang does lie about his failed practice with Guru Pathik but the ultimate reason why his chakra is blocked is Azula, not his decision to run. Aang does try to let go of Katara for a little bit but then Azula shoots him. Nothing in Book 3 shows any change in his feelings that could have been a result of his instant let-it-go. If anything, he gets weirdly obsessive - which could have been used as a side effect of his blocked chakra but – again, no, nothing happens.

I suspect the whole thing was just introduced to create temporary drama for poor Aang, but it is never explained why Katara holds him back, what aspect of the attachment is blocking him or what would happen if he did let her go. Maybe they tried to make a statement about how love is more important than Avatar rules – which would have been fine but it’s also never properly explored. Instead, as soon as that plot point becomes inconvenient it’s simply dropped like a random rock™.

Compare all that to the Zutara arc, where both characters’ feelings about each other are always very much in the open, and where every interaction causes lasting effects in their relationship. Yes, it is unfair to compare that to Kat*ang, because up to the end of Book 3, Zuko and Katara almost never meet, while Aang and Katara spend almost every episode together – of course they cannot do meaningful things all the time. But on the other side, with Kat*ang, there would have been a great chance to show a subtle, gradual build-up instead.

It also doesn’t help that the Zutara arc seems hellbent on sabotaging every romantic moment Aang is allowed to enjoy:

There is Kat*angs first maybe-kiss in the dark before the background of the Oma and Shu legend. But it does not lead anywhere. Instead, Zuko and Katara almost reenact the legend itself in the Book 2 finale as two real enemies to almost-friends, including a glowy rocks-backdrop and the right costume colours, just so nobody misses the message.

In Footloose The Headband, Aang and Katara have a really sweet dance together, and everybody can see how they almost intuitively know each other's moves. This could be a great hint on how well they will fight together in the finale. But is it plot-relevant? No, because the final tag team is Katara and Zuko! While Aang gets paired off with random rock™.

Then there is Aang’s riding off to battle- kiss in DotBS, which Katara is not even allowed to enjoy, because keeping her feelings vague is apparently more important than character development at this point. It is the only romantic moment that gets mentioned again, but in a way that sinks the former cute and wholesome ship into the deep ocean, and the reason is - Aang is jealous of Zuko!

If all of this was only done for the sake of shipbaiting, then it really went out of control at some point.

In the end, the showrunners still had their reasons to choose Kat*ang, maybe because that corresponded more to their own vision, and there are still enough people out there who agree with them. Which is absolutely fine! In the end, what matters most is how you personally connect to the characters and nobody needs to defend their personal taste. But the typical anti-ZK claim, that all the Zutarians with their crazy analysis and rambling meta essays are reaching and delusional and that they desperately try to construct something that isn’t there, is not only a very lazy argument but simply not true.

And I’d claim that in spite of the canon choice, Zutara is technically the better written relationship. By far.

[elvendara]

Mysme RBB

My second piece I did for the @mysme-rbb ! A little Jaehee X MC angst.

My partner for this was @lonely_weeb_art (will post link when available for the art)

It was such a blast to do this, my first ever BB! I met many new friends and reconnected with some old ones! I love Mystic Messenger and hope to have many more years of fan content!

Thank you @mysme-rbb for putting this together. Nod to the mods! Who were super awesome!!

MC giggled, her long brown hair fluttering around her shoulders. She was glued to her phone, her golden-brown eyes sparkling with amusement.

“What’s so funny?” Jaehee asked as she wiped the counter down in her kitchen. A little too roughly perhaps.

“Oh it’s just Zenny!” MC said as she waved at Jaehee.

“You’ve been texting a lot with Zen lately.” she said off handedly.

“He’s entertaining.” The brunette said, not taking her eyes off her phone, her fingers flashing across the small keypad, a smile from ear to ear.

“I... thought you were here to see me.” Jaehee stated, trying to be lighthearted.

“Aw, are you feeling jealous?”

“No. Just, well, like I said, you’ve been getting pretty close to Zen lately, is there something I should know?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” MC’s smile was completely gone as she stood from where she had been comfortably laying on Jaehee’s sofa. Her eyes flashed angrily.

Jaehee sighed as she swept her coffee brown hair behind her ear. Since leaving Jumin’s employ she had begun to grow it out again. “It doesn’t mean anything.” she leaned into wiping the counter with her sponge even harder, not meeting MC’s eyes.

“I think it means something. Go ahead, say it.” MC put fists on her hips and the look on her face suddenly broke Jaehee.

“OK, fine.” she stopped scrubbing, throwing the sponge into the pristine sink and placed her own fists on her hips, mirroring the shorter woman. “You text and talk to Zen a lot. Even when we’re supposed to be doing something together. Last week when we went to the street fair your phone pinged continuously. You even kept taking your hand out of mine so you could text him back. Look, I like Zen, I always have, but I think you two are too close. Am I jealous? I don’t know, should I be?” she finished, her voice rising steadily.

“You are unbelievable!” MC stormed towards the door, kicking off her slippers and shoving her feet into her shoes aggressively.

“Am I? You came over today to spend some time with me, we were supposed to watch a movie and maybe just cuddle on the sofa, but all you’ve done the whole evening is stay glued to that phone! Talking to him. Him! Not me!”

“You’ve crossed a line Jaehee, and I can’t believe you don’t see that.” MC’s words were muffled by tears that began to fall.

“Go on then! Go! I’m sure Zen will have a ready shoulder for you to cry on!” Jaehee could barely hold her own tears back. She had never raised her voice this way. There was so much anger in her at the moment and it frightened her. Perhaps it was better that MC was not around her now.

“I am!” MC screamed as she yanked the front door and slammed it behind her with a loud ring of finality.

As the door closed Jaehee’s body trembled and she fell to her knees, body wracked with sobs. She was terrified that she would never see MC again, that she had just ruined her relationship. It was still so new and maybe she was overreacting? But no, maybe she could have brought up the subject a little more delicately, but the constant texting and calling with Zen had begun to interfere with their time together.

^^*^^

MC strode down the sidewalk, jaw clenched, brown eyes glaring so hard people jumped out of her way. Her long hair flew behind her as she ran through the first argument she and Jaehee had ever had. How dare she! Was Zen only supposed to be friends with Jaehee? How many nights had they stayed up together and watched Zen, giggling like schoolgirls at his amazing acting ability? Shaking their heads at all the fangirls who threw themselves at him on social media?

Did she really think that’s what she was doing? Fangirling over Zen? Or worse? Actually believing they could have a relationship? How hard had MC fought to convince Jaehee of her feelings for her? And she was jealous of Zen?

Her muddled thoughts went round and round. Recounting each and every communication she’d had with Zen. Jaehee talked to him too! But did she talk to him as much as MC? As she thought about it, she realized that while Jaehee was a religious cheerleader for Zen and his career, she never took it to the extreme. Her conversations with Zen were about his career and his plans. They were friends, but first and foremost she was a fan who held Zen at arm’s length. Something, someone, to be admired.

MC choked up as the realization hit her. She had been spending too much time talking to Zen. Calling, texting, hanging out. Even tonight. Jaehee had cooked for them and all she could think of was listening to Zen’s drama about his current acting partner. About her not-so-subtle attempts at seducing the man. As soon as dinner was over, she took herself to the sofa and plopped down to get the low down on the day’s events from him. She hadn’t even thanked Jaehee for the meal, the candles, the romantic lighting and music. Jaehee had fled from her thoughts.

This led her to other times in which she had ignored her girlfriend in preference of Zen’s company. Of course Jaehee saw it as a threat. Although MC had no romantic feelings for the man, she hadn’t been acting like a loving and caring girlfriend. She sighed as she realized what a giant ass she had been and an even greater one with her defensiveness tonight. She should turn around and go apologize immediately. But first, she would go to the flower shop and buy a bouquet. Maybe some wine. And she would spend the rest of the night, no, the rest of the week making it up to her gorgeous girlfriend.

She pulled out the phone from her back pocket and muted it. No more Zen, or anyone else, for a while. She had some amending to do. Screeching tires reached her ears and a cacophony of screams. Startled she looked up, but too late. She was in the middle of the street, her feet taking her towards the flower shop without actively thinking about it. The car tried to stop, the driver wrenching his wheel to the right but it was too late. Its front end slammed into MC, sending her flying up and over the hood, smashing into the windshield. When the car came to a stop her body was flung forward, tumbling onto the road, she was narrowly missed by oncoming traffic. The sounds of striking metal rang through the air, the smell of burnt rubber and gas mingled together, the atmosphere becoming hazy with thickening smoke. MC lay, broken and battered on the ground as a crowd gathered around her.

^^*^^

Jaehee heard something that sounded like a crash, but she couldn't’ be bothered to care. She lay on the sofa and wept. How could a simple fight hurt this much? Had she just lost her lover? Over what? Zen? Of course MC didn’t care for him like she cared for her, but it was still difficult to share her girlfriend with someone that much. Was she wrong to feel this way? She had hoped they could have a romantic evening and was going to ask MC to stay the night. She berated herself but was conflicted. One second she wanted to take it all back, beg Mc to come back and forget everything she had said, the next she felt self-righteous and justified in bringing up the wall that seemed to come up between them lately.

As the glaring of the sirens in the distance grew closer her muddled mind began to work again. Whatever had happened it was close. She began to worry. It hadn’t been that long since MC left. In fact, the sounds of an apparent accident could very well have happened near her, depending on which direction she’d gone. Worry getting the better of her she reached for her phone and dialed her number. It rang and rang. Nobody answering. Maybe it was just because she was still mad at her. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end and she had to move.

She leapt to her feet and ran out the door. It wasn’t difficult to determine where the accident had taken place once she hit the street. There was a large cloud of smoke to her left at the closest intersection to her apartment. A large crowd of people were gathered around three vehicles. There were several police cruisers and an ambulance at the sight. She looked around to see if she could spot MC but found nothing. Desperately she ran towards the crowd, needing to make sure that her fear was unfounded.

As she broke through the crowd, she saw paramedics lifting a body from the ground. The brown hair with red highlights shining in the sun looking all too familiar. She shook her head, it couldn’t be, lots of people had that hair. Making it into the center she could no longer deny what she saw. Those were MC’s clothes. That was her hand hanging off the stretcher. She screamed and ran through the barricades. A police officer stopped her, tried to restrain her but she stomped on his foot and reached MC as they were putting her in the ambulance.

“MC!” she cried. She tried to grab a hold of her wrist, but she was once again denied.

“Do you know this woman?” an officer, a different one than the one she had assaulted, asked her.

“YES! Please! Is she...is she...” she couldn’t say it. She didn’t want to know if it was true.

“She’s alive.” One of the paramedics answered right before closing the door.

“Please!” she wanted to go with her, but the ambulance was already gone. Her heart raged at a hundred miles a minute. Blood pulsing so loudly that her ears heard nothing but muffled sound. The policeman was asking her something and she had to try and clear her head before she could hear accurately.

“Ma’am. Can you tell us who she is? Are you alright?”

“No! No I’m not alright I need to go with her!” she tried to yank herself free but there were more officers now.

“Someone will take you to the hospital I promise. Right now I need you to give me some information.”

“What...what happened?” she was delirious, looking around, there was a red car behind her with a broken windshield and two other cars that had been going in the opposite direction. The white truck had hit a light pole and the blue car had hit it from behind. It all made no sense and still she was unable to leave. Every car was empty but there didn’t seem to be any other injured people, only the love of her life.

“Is the woman your friend?” this time it was a female officer who asked her. Jaehee blinked at the shorter woman and shook her head.

“N... no... she...she’s my girlfriend. Please, I... I need to be with her.” she pleaded.

“Alright.” The female officer nodded with understanding. She spoke to a few other officers and led her to one of the cruisers. She opened the door to the back of the vehicle and Jaehee climbed in, numb and terrified.

During the ride she had the presence of mind to call Jumin and let him know what had happened. She'd had to ask the officers which hospital they were going to. Once they arrived, they showed her to a waiting room and informed the staff who she was there for. It didn’t take long for the rest of the RFA to join her. Jumin spoke to the nurses and took control of the situation, giving the officers the information they requested about MC. She was grateful.

The night was long and stressful, Jaehee still felt fuzzy and not all there. She began to cry when she saw Zen and remembered the ridiculous fight they’d had. The man was no threat to her relationship, he wasn’t that kind of man. It had been her own jealousy that was the threat. How would she ever forgive herself if MC didn’t make it? Zen held her and let her cry, telling her that everything was going to be alright. That MC was a fighter and she wouldn’t want Jaehee to give up.

It was early morning when the doctor finally came out to give them an update.

“How is she?” Jumin asked, his grey eyes etched with worry.

“The next few days will be important. She’ll have to remain in ICU so we can keep an eye on her progress. There was extensive internal bleeding, her spleen was ruptured and there are several broken bones. It will be a long recovery but she’s young and strong. We’re hopeful.”

Jaehee breathed a sigh of relief as did everyone in the room. Yoosung’s sobs subsided and Saeran held onto him tightly. Saeyoung took off his glasses and wiped them absently, his eyes still red-rimmed. Jumin put an arm around Jaehee and gave her a gentle and encouraging smile. Zen did the same.

“Can I see her?” she asked through a tear-stained face.

“Of course. Unfortunately only one person is allowed into the ICU room at a time.” They nodded in understanding, knowing Jaehee would be the only one to be with her until she was moved to a regular room. “One of the nurses will take you back.” he nodded to them and left.

A nurse took Jaehee by the arm and led her through the locked double doors. The whoosh startled her and she blinked rapidly, trying to gain her bearings. She’d never felt so out of sorts. She had always been strong. She’d had to be most of her life. She never let anything keep her down no matter what. But this was not something she could power through. It was taking all of her self-control not to run down the sanitized hall screaming for her MC.

They made it to the room, and she felt as if she was going to faint at the sight of the beautiful woman who lay broken and battered on the hospital bed with tubes coming out of her from both arms. She fell back but the nurse was there to steady her and help her to a chair.

The woman pulled the chair as close as she could and reached out to hold MC’s hand. It was warm and that was comforting. She was breathing on her own and that was also comforting. The sheet was pulled up to her chest, her arms above it. She couldn’t see what was underneath but perhaps that was a good thing. There was a cast on her right leg and on her left arm.

“I’m so sorry MC. I was an idiot! I know you love me and would never hurt me on purpose. I should have tried to discuss how I was feeling instead of assuming you were doing something wrong or inconsiderate. I should have...I... please don’t leave me!” she sobbed and clutched at her hand begging and pleading with God to keep her alive. She felt pathetic but she couldn’t help it! She clutched at the cross around her neck and prayed. Pleading for healing. For a chance to make it right. As she prayed, she felt MC’s fingers close around hers.

[puckinghell]

If The World Was Ending | Andre Burakovsky

Summary: If the world was ending, you’d come over, right? Based on the song with the same name Words: 2.3k Note: I was gonna make this super angsty but it turned out a weird mixture of angst and fluff. I couldn’t be bothered to check this for spelling/grammer/making sense so excuse me for that

--- 

"We interrupt your programming. This is a national emergency. A significant environmental event has been detected, that will impact the Greater United States. You and your loved ones should seek shelter immediately. Please stand by for further updates.” 

The croaky radio voice disappears as the room falls into silence. You look around, but there’s nothing to betray your location: the room is empty, except for a small old school radio in the corner. There’s not even a window. 

Then you notice there’s not even a door.

You’re standing with your phone in your hand and somehow, without making the conscious decision to, you lift it. On the screen, there’s an open iMessage thread. On the top, it says the name Do not call.

There’s only one person that can be, and the last message on your screen would confirm that, except you can’t read it. The screen is blurry, too blurry to make out the letters, but you don’t really need to read them anyway: you know the message.

The words have been carved in your heart for the past four months. 

You: I love you.

Andre: I know. I just need some space

Andre: It’s just hard to talk to you right now

You: Ok

You: But I’m here if you need me

Suddenly, there’s a noise coming from outside the room. Heavy footsteps, slowly against a wooden floor. You turn around and notice a door has appeared. It opens, and you know who’s there before you even see his face.

Andre.

---

You gasp so loudly you nearly choke on the air you inhale, and sit up straight. The familiarity of your bedroom around you doesn’t quite manage to calm you down, as it’s dark and quiet around you.

Too quiet. No warm body next to you, no steady exhale of air passing lips. The bed is empty.

Slowly, you lower yourself back into your pillow. It’s not the first time you’ve had this nightmare: for some reason your mind loves to remind you of the fact that you’ve lost the love of your life, and it likes to warp it with the fear of the world ending.

It’s fine. You’re doing great. 

Outside, the city of Washington is calm. A single car passes through your street and then it’s quiet again. You focus on it, try to let your thoughts pass in the same way, try to quiet your mind. 

It doesn’t work. One memory keeps coming back, keeps itself planted firmly in the forefront of your brain, as if it’s a movie, playing behind your closed eyelids. 

Maybe this memory is the reason for your nightmares, or maybe it’s just one of the many memories you can’t forget. Because the moment you forget, you have to let go of him.

You don’t think you’re ready for that yet, which is fine, because you don’t think you’ve figured out how to do that, anyway.

---

1 year ago

“Are you telling me you’re gonna be late again?” you whined into the phone. “Andre, I’m hungry! I’m gonna have dinner without you!” 

Your boyfriend giggled, ringing clear over the background noise of his teammates yelling.

“You can start without me.” 

That was not the reaction you were hoping for, and you pouted your lips, even though he couldn’t see that over the phone. You were pretty sure your tone of voice portrayed the same emotion.

“But I don’t want to. I want you here. With me.” 

“Me too, baby.” Andre sounded remorseful, at the very least. “But we’re gonna watch tape, and I have to...” 

“Do anything you can, I know,” you interrupted. You got it, you really did; Andre wasn’t performing to the level he thought he was capable of and he’d promised himself he’d do whatever it took to get to that level.

Unfortunately, that meant you’d been seeing less and less of him.

“I’m sorry.” 

It’s those same words he whispered in your ear that night, when he crawled into bed next to you many hours later. You’d been half asleep, but your body reacted to his presence, and when his lips touched your neck you’re fully awake.

“Hey stranger,” you teased him; it was meant to be a harmless joke, but you felt his body tense next to you. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, an edge of sadness to his voice that you didn’t get from him often. 

You turned around to face him, cupped his cheek in your hand.

“Hey, don’t be upset. It’s just a missed dinner, it’s not the end of the world.” 

Andre didn’t answer, simply turned his head so he could press kisses into the palm of your hand.

“If the world was ending, you’d come over, right?” you asked, your voice soft through the quiet night. Andre looked up, brown eyes burning with something you couldn’t quite name, but felt right in your core.

“The sky could be falling and I would be alright if I was holding you.” 

---

The nightmares leave your body tired and your mind exhausted, and you find yourself pulling through your day to day life. 

Your mind keeps playing tricks on you. One day you’re sitting in traffic listening to the radio when the news anchor talks about an earthquake that happened somewhere far away.

If there was an earthquake here, what would be Andre’s reaction?

It’s a strange thought to have pop into your head and you immediately try to push it away, ignore it, but it sticks with you. 

When you go out to a bar with your friends and there’s a Colorado game on in the bar, that about does it.

“Who’s down for tequila shots?” you ask, slamming your credit card on the bar, and your friends cheer. Maddie, your best friend, however, bumps against your shoulder.

“Are you doing alright, Y/N?”

No, you’re not. But there’s not really anything you can do against that: not when the reason for you being miserable is currently in Colorado, playing - and winning, you see - a game against the Ducks. 

It’s at least three beers and two tequila shots later that you’re sitting in a cab home, with Maddie next to you.

“You gotta figure out how to get over him, babe,” she says, her voice laced with pity.

You don’t respond. She doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand: how could you ever get over him, when he was the love of your life?

That night flashes through your mind, that night everything went to pieces.

---

4 months ago

“This isn’t working, Andre.” Your lip was trembling but you tried to keep your voice steady. It worked, almost; then Andre’s face fell and you nearly bursted into tears.

You didn’t plan to throw it all out there like this: he was home for the first time since he left for Colorado, for the first time in months you’ve got him back in your apartment, sifting through your kitchen cupboards to find his favorite mug. 

Finally he was back where he belongs. And yet...

You could see it. The way his eyes were shining, how he was holding his head up high. It was like a weight got lifted from his shoulders, and it was clear to you now: Washington was weighing him down. 

And you, you were the last thread that was keeping him tethered to this place. If not for you, he could finally fully be in Colorado, finally let go of this part of his life. 

As long as you’re here, he won’t.

“What are you talking about?” Andre asked, sounding panicked. “Y/N, what’s going on?” 

You lied, then. You told him this long distance thing just wasn’t working for you, that you needed more of him.

He wasn’t having it, threw back argument after argument about why this is working. He asked you to come to Colorado with him. He even said he’ll ask for a trade back to Washington; you knew it would never happen but you could tell he’s 100% serious.

He would come back here if it meant keeping you, even when he’s clearly happier over there. 

So you said the only thing you know would hurt him, would get him to take you seriously. 

The only thing that would make him believe it’s really over.

“You wouldn’t even come over here if the world was ending, and I was about to die alone.”

You saw the words hit him; he recoiled from them, from you, physically took a step back as his mouth set into a hard line.

You knew it’s not true: if the world was ending, he’d come over and he’d hold you, and you wouldn’t even be afraid.

Not like you are now.

If the world was ending, there would be no reason to say goodbye. 

---

It’s not like you and Andre parted on bad terms.

After that big fight, you had an adult conversation with him - at least, you hope that’s how he remembers it.

You just remember lying.

You never told him you were just trying to get him to be happy in Denver, with nothing weighing him down in Washington. You didn’t tell him that even if you moved to Denver with him, you were scared your presence was going to bring back that slump in his shoulders, make that brightness in his eyes disappear.

You told him, instead, that you needed someone who was there more. Who could be physically present when you needed someone, not just on the phone. That you loved him, but that he didn’t make you happy anymore.

The only truth you told him that day, in fact, had been “I love you.” And when you had said: “I love you, but you’re not enough”, you had meant: “I love you, and I’m sorry I’m not enough.” 

But he didn’t know that.

You had texted sporadically, the weeks after, until that dreaded text came. 

It just hurts to talk to you right now.

You didn’t even blame him, and so all contact had ceased.

Now the two of you were only ever together in your mind. 

Which is why you nearly drop your phone in the sink when you’re doing dishes and suddenly his name flashes on the screen.

It’s 2 am which means it’s midnight for him, so obviously the first thought that pops up into your head is, oh my God, he’s hurt, and there’s no time for another, more rational, thought before you’ve picked up the phone.

“Andre?” 

It’s quiet, for a second, then a deep exhale. 

“There was an earthquake.”

A million miles fly through your brain, but Andre continues before you can talk.

“It was just a tiny one. I was in traffic, didn’t even feel it. But it made me think. I always promised you if the world ended, I’d be there holding you. But you never promised it back.” 

You suppose that’s right: it wasn’t intentional, and you always felt like it was insinuated in the kisses you shared, the “I love you”’s and the way you looked at him, but you never said it, never promised it. 

“Andre,” you start, but he interrupts you, and his voice is small.

“I know you know that we both know you weren’t down for forever, and that’s fine. I know you think we weren’t meant for each other and that’s fine, too. But... If the world was ending, you’d come over, right?” 

You don’t tell him he lives over 1600 miles away, you don’t tell him the world isn’t ending. You can’t, because he sounds so vulnerable, so upset, and your heart feels heavy with how much you miss him.

“Yeah,” you whisper softly into the phone. “Yeah, I’d be there.” 

“It’s funny,” Andre says, but he doesn’t sound like he finds anything funny at all, his tone humorless and heavy. “It’s funny cause you say that, and I know you’re thinking you can say that without consequences because the world is never gonna end. But you know what?” 

“What?” you manage to bring out.

“I fucking feel like my world is ending.” Andre bites out the words as if he’s been holding them in, locking them on the tip of his tongue, for a long time, and now they’re bursting at the seams. “I have been feeling like my world ended the day you told me you didn’t want me anymore. Because you were my world and now you’re gone, so what the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t stop loving you, so now I’m loving you just for the hell of it, and I’m doing whatever I can to keep living my life but it’s not working, it’s not working cause my world ended the day you left and you didn’t come over like you just promised you would.”

He sighs; it’s like now that the words are out of him so is the anger, and he sounds tired and helpless, when he adds: “I shouldn’t even have called. Forget it.” 

He hangs up, then, leaving you standing in the kitchen with a dead phone in your hand, staring out of the window and wondering how you could’ve fucked up so badly.

And you know, in that moment, that you have to do something. That you misjudged everything, and that you shouldn’t have just expected Andre to stop thinking about you and be happy.

How could you, when it’s been so impossible for you to think about him without it feeling your heart is getting ripped out of your chest?

You feel your heartbeat in your throat as you search for flights to Denver and buy the first one you see, the one that leaves in a few hours. 

You don’t bother buying a return ticket. After all, you promised you’d come over and hold him tight. Fine, you said you would do that when the world ends, and maybe the world isn’t done yet; but it sure feels like the sky is falling and you guess the end of the world is too uncertain, anyway.

The world might never end, but it sure is waiting on you to get your shit together.

Less than 24 hours later you’re standing in front of Andre’s front door, shuffling your feet while you wait for the door to open. 

You’re not sure what to expect when it does: you sure hope he’s happy to see you but you can imagine he might not be, he might be angry and upset and he might even slam the door in your face.

But when he does finally open, the only emotion you see is shock.

“Y/N?” he asks, his voice guarded. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?” 

Yes, everything is wrong: it’s wrong that you’re standing here as if this is not your home, it’s wrong that you feel like you’re drowning in the familiarity of his brown eyes, it’s wrong that he’s there and you haven’t kissed him yet. 

You don’t say any of that. Instead, you say: “You said your world was ending.” 

Slowly, the corners of Andre’s mouth turn up, and something that resembles the hint of a smile plays around his lips. 

“So you came over?” 

“Right,” you say, and when a full, bright smile lights up Andre’s face, you know everything is going to be exactly as it’s supposed to be.

Andre echoes: “Right.” 

And that’s exactly it. Suddenly, everything is right. 

[clan-sayeed-fic]

Thank you!

First of all, hi to everyone!😄

I'm writing this post to let all of you know how grateful I am for your support. Even if you're here only to read my fic, never left any feedback, I still appreciate it a lot💕

I wanted to wait with uploading another post till I write the rest of my fic, and actually, I'm still going to do this, but...

You kept on following me during hiatus, and it turned out that I have 101 followers now. Like 101 Dalmatians😅 don't get offended, it just popped into my head haha

So I decided to write something for you on this occasion.

The story is short. It doesn't refer neither to my fic nor to the Bloodbound. But if you want to think of it as a Bloodbound's characters dialogue, feel free. That's the reason why I left the characters without past/ background/ details/ names, so everyone could look at this differently.

Enjoy, my dear Dalmatians! Ok...I'll stop with this joke haha😅 

  ~ 600 words -------------------

I  can’t  let  you  go

"What did you say?"

The only sounds that filled the room were loud heartbeats.

Those heartbeats belonged to two women standing in front of each other, both seemed really agitated. They were breathing heavily, looking into each other's eyes. Sending menacing looks.

Waiting for the other one to let go, give up.

"What do you want me to say?" the woman frowned, not losing her attitude.

They were fighting for a long time that evening.

It all started innocently.

At first, with a small argument.

After that, things were moving fast: one of them reminded the other about the mistakes she did in the past. That made the accused woman defend herself by doing the same thing. Both acted too stubborn to make peace.

And it went for hours till this one statement.

An unbelievably important one.

"I want you to explain this," the first one said with a challenging tone of her voice.

Moment of silence.

Moment to rethink if it all was worth the effort. If giving up wouldn't be the best option at this point.

The easier one.

And that's when the words started escaping the mouth of another woman without control. Anger, sadness, and hurt merged together into one, powerful feeling.

The emotion, which wanted to escape, to be heard.

To be understood.

"Fine!" the woman almost shouted from nerves. "Do you want me to say all of it?

Her eyes were shining with anger.

"That you're the most precious and the best person that has ever shown in my entire life. That you made my days brighter from the beginning with this beautiful, the most adorable smile. That you're the woman that made me realize how strong, and at the same time, how weak I am."

Her voice broke a little.

"That you're that someone I want to wake up next to. Getting with you through the day. Falling asleep by your side."

Her hands were shaking.

"I want to be near you when you're happy and when you succeed. The same, as I want to be there for you when you're falling apart, feeling not good enough."

Her gaze full of concern

"I want to make you realize that you are good enough. The same as you made me understand this about myself."

Her heart finally broke into a million pieces.

"And every time I see you getting hurt because of me, I'm reminding myself how much I love you. And how little I did to deserve having you in my life."

Her vulnerability exposed.

"How I made a promise to be a better person around you, but..."

"Stop," the woman interrupted her. "What did you just say?"

She repeated herself again, asking the same question. The words she heard made her unable to think of anything else.

She couldn't believe her own ears.

She finally heard it.

"Don't make me explain this all over again," the other one almost begged. It took a lot out of her to admit to all of it.

"I don't want to hear everything," the woman's face became brighter, she didn't feel the anger inside anymore. "Only the most important part."

They both knew about which part she was talking about.

How long she was waiting for those words.

"I love you."

That made both of them smile, one wider than another. All of the negative emotions were forgotten.

"I’m not sure if I heard it correctly, could you maybe..."

"Don't push it."

They both laughed.

The laugh, which at first was from pure amusement. After a while, it became quieter.

Till it stopped.

And the tension was slowly building between them.

Understanding and devotion.

"I love you too."

[aetheternity]

Moon Tattoos P2 (Wow this was a long time coming..)

The second Ellis and Lujanne had found out about Callum they wouldn't leave Rayla alone about him. Mostly bothering her everytime they were in her apartment with things such as, “Are you gonna ask him out this time?” And “He's cute, he'll get a girlfriend at some point, even if it's not you.” After a whole lot of that, Callum had asked her out, causing the comments to gain new ammunition. “Are you guys gonna kiss on this date? What if he wants to take you home?” And “Well if he takes you home you should be prepared with some-”

“No!” Rayla announced, cutting Lujanne off with a whip of her head. “No! No no! Ok nothing like that.. Is happening tonight.” She explained, turning back around, both hands wobbly against the sparkly white desk in her room. The beginnings of a small blush dusting her cheeks as her dark eyes scoured the covered surface laced in small barrettes and other little hair ties Ellis had brought over.

The questions and comments didn't really bother Rayla until now, it was just how Ellis and Lujanne loved. But there was always such thing as too much love..

“Please tell me you’re gonna braid your hair! You look so cute when it’s braided!” Ellis chimed in, with a small bounce.

“She’s not wrong.” Lujanne added, her statement immediately being followed up with a small bark from a very contemplative Ava nearby.

“Thank you both-” Rayla started but was cut off by another one of Ava’s barks. “Thank you three! For helping but I can do this all by myself.” Rayla was starting to feel a bit dizzy and she slumped down in the light purple chair, staring at her reflection in the big mirror in front of her. The normally slightly bright yellow bulbs turned out, as the big light in the corner illuminated her whole room.

“No problem we love helping! Don't we Ava!” The younger of the bunch cooed, giving her huge dog a quick rub behind the ears. “I just.. I don't know what I should actually do..” Rayla admitted, shaking the chair as she stood, walking over to her dresser across the room. “I mean what do humans normally wear to sports events?” She asked, with a small tilt of her head, eyes focused on the ceiling. “And just as important what do I say? Should we talk? I mean I've been told sporting events like these are loud. Would he be able to hear me? Maybe we should've just gone to a movie.. What if my hands are sweaty and he tries to hold them? And what about the four fingers thing?? What does he do with his extra finger?!”

“Calm down, you care way too much about this guy for a first date.” Lujanne laughed, somewhat unsympathetically. “What if they end up on the kiss cam?” Ellis asked, not missing a beat, a small bark sounding from Ava, as Ellis hugged the big dog around her neck.

Lujanne didn't even get to reply before Rayla screamed diving onto her bed like the floor had suddenly caught fire. She screamed into her pillows, clutching them close, as she tried and failed to get her heartbeat under control. If not for the years of knowing Ellis and Lujanne, Rayla probably would've just kicked them out so she could breathe again.

“Probably shouldn't have said anything?” Ellis said, though it was definitely more of a question then a statement. Even without looking, Rayla knew Lujanne was nodding to Ellis.

“It's fine it doesn't matter.” Rayla sniffed, sitting up with one of her pillows still clutched to her chest. "I've been too nervous to actually talk to him for months now.. There's a chance I'll be too nervous to say anything now and we'll just sit in silence." Ellis looked to Ava then to Lujanne before turning her attention to the moonshadow elf in front of her. "From what you've told us Callum seems nice? Take it slow and go with the moment." Despite her age the 18 year old was pretty smart.

"Maybe figure out what you're gonna wear and do with your hair before all that other stuff." Lujanne added

Ellis sat up wrenching open the dresser drawer behind her. She fished around for a couple seconds before pulling out a skirt, showing it off to the two elves in the room. "It's one of my favorites that you own and you never wear it." The girl pouted Rayla stared at the item of clothing. It was a deep purple almost black in color with small stars designed all over the cotton fabric. Rayla honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd worn it, probably a couple months after Runaan had given it to her.

"Maybe.. It's an option." Rayla remarked, scooting up to the edge of her bed.

"One braid right here is all you really need, and a quick brush in the back." Lujanne added, seating herself beside Rayla. Fingers already in her hair.

"What time is he gonna be here anyway?" Ellis asked, tossing a shirt she didn't like back to hit Ava. The big dog whimpered taking the shirt to her face but not bothering to really react.

"Around eight." Rayla replied, turning her head a bit as Ellis threw a pair of jeans Ava's way. "And stop messing up my room!"

"What?! That's like an hour from now!" Ellis halted on her barrage of Rayla's clothing.

"Keep your head straight." Lujanne commanded, her hand a bit forceful when she pushed Rayla's head back into place. The younger elf of the two pouting in annoyance. "Why'd you invite us over so early?"

"Because, between Ellis going on tangents and playing with Ava and you critiquing everything I decide to wear I knew we'd probably be here a while." Rayla announced as Lujanne finished the braid, tucking it behind the young elf's ear.

"Rude.." The young girl on the floor announced, tossing back another article of clothing hitting poor Ava in the process. "Well she isn't completely wrong-"

"My god Ellis!" All three parties turned looking back at Ellis' dog currently covered from head to toe in shirts, jeans and even a hat or two.

"Oops.." Ava barked loudly, shaking all the clothes off at once. A couple of Rayla's shirts flew off onto her dressers and even her mirror, jeans astray onto the floor and even smacking Rayla and Lujanne as they went. Once she was done the big dog barked happily, tongue dangling as she sat back down.

"This is probably why my building doesn't allow pets." Rayla remarked, pulling a pair of jeans off her face. Ellis giggled, tossing a bright yellow shirt back into the drawer next to her.

8:15pm

Rayla had asked Callum to stand outside and just text her when he'd arrived. Not because she didn't want him to see the catastrophe that Ellis had once again made of her house (Well yeah that too), but because no one could survive meeting Lujanne without a head's up. Especially not if they were planning on dating Rayla. Because of how long they'd known each other naturally Lujanne was a bit over protective of the younger elf, basically being a mentor/big sister to Rayla since they were still kids.

“Have fun!” Ellis chirped, balancing on the tips of her toes to squeeze Rayla into a hug. Ava giving off a small bark behind the girls, before coming forward to bump her leg with her nose.

“Remember you don't have to put out-”

“My god, Lujanne!”

“I'm just saying you don't owe him anything and even a kiss could become too much!-”

“I'm leaving now!” Rayla announced, opening the front door with a quick wave behind herself but not before Ellis could say,

“Wait, you meant sex right?” And with that Rayla was bolting down the hallway, five times more grateful she'd lied and told Callum he couldn't come upstairs because her apartment was getting repainted.

Lujanne had suggested a long t-shirt, one that was kind of big on Rayla, it hid her curves and the cut on her back needed air to breathe. She'd eventually gone with a white crop top with frilly sleeves. One that went well with her skirt and gave her cut room to breathe. Since it was a bit chilly as well she pulled on some thin tights and went with her combat boots against Lujanne’s wishes, which just caused a long drawn out argument for what had to be twenty minutes, until Ava broke it up.

She was already kind of out of her comfort zone with the skirt, even if it did reach her knees, it was a little dizzying to put on again. It wasn't that she didn't like the skirt it was more that.. well pants always felt less gender fixated and more.. cozy? Was that the right word? Regardless she managed to get everything done, Hair? Check. Clothes? Check. 30 minutes to shower without Ellis or Ava bothering her? Check.

She almost felt empowered as she tripped on the last stair going down, reaching out for the banister and almost twisting her ankle as she saw Callum just outside the front door. He wasn't looking up, definitely not out at the street in front of him either, probably lost in his phone. He looked so different from the way he did at work. Shoulders a bit hunched in his green camo jacket, with one hand shoved into his pocket.

Rayla couldn't help but stare at him. Probably for too long. Ok stop staring! As if he wasn't pretty enough in dim tattoo shop lighting now he was outside her building. Moonlight shining off his cheek and street lights illuminating his sparkling green eyes and his perfect smile.. Uggggghhhh.

“Hey!” Callum suddenly turned, voice slightly muffled by the glass door and Rayla had to mentally reboot to stop herself from racing back upstairs.

Please don't say anything about the staring. Rattled her brain. Please tell me he didn't notice the staring. It screamed, hand on the front door and pushing. Why couldn't she just come outside?! “Hey.” Callum remarked, slightly quieter this time. “Such a lovely evening tonight.” The green eyed male remarked with a smile at the street. Much bigger than the one he'd had earlier. A soft breeze fluttered past and the trees along the corner swayed with the feeling.

Rayla had begun to smile a bit too as she stood about a foot away from Callum, watching his expressions from the corner of her eye. “You.. Look…. Wow..” The male finally settled on. Rayla's cheeks caught fire, unable to stop herself from taking in the soft pink of Callum's cheeks as well, his eyes kind of lingering on the jutt of her hips, before flying up to meet her eyes with a small sigh. “How- How's your cut? Any pain?” He coughed, pointing to her waist awkwardly

Surprisingly enough the pain seemed to die down quickly, she'd kept ice on it and rubbed a bit of Vaseline on the area. Till there was only a brief sting she became used to when she showered. “I-it’s better..” The young elf remarked.

Callum smiled shyly and the two grew silent for what was far too long until Callum sighed breathily sort of restarting everything with, “Hi..” He giggled

“Hi.” The young elf girl replied, with a hitching breath of her own.

The two stood parallel to each other, with a lingering silence. Rayla's eyes tracing the ground while Callum blinked and awkwardly stuffed his other hand into his pocket.

“I-” Callum began, but froze for a moment when Rayla met his gaze again. “So.. I borrowed a friend's car..” He chuckled whimsically. “Just cause.. I can't afford my own and I didn't want to make you sit on sticky seats on the subway or have people pushing you if it's crowded and-” the male sighed cutting himself off, as they got to the car.

It was weird almost alien to see Callum acting so.. what's the right word? Uncomfortable? Maybe.. no.. uneasy….flustered! He was flustered and rambling. It was really cute. Really really cute.

“That’s.. Thanks..” Rayla mustered as Callum opened the passenger door. Callum quickly circled the car, pulling himself into the driver's seat, shutting the door behind himself.

The car was nice and roomy and Rayla was instantly more appreciative that Callum was gonna drive her in this instead of on the train. It had a nice clean new car kind of smell and the seats felt firm but comfy like Rayla was the first to sit in it. Rayla shivered in her seat. Whether it was from the slightly cold breeze when the car turned on, or from the fact that she had basically been holding her breath since they'd said, “hi” was incredibly unclear.

“I'm sorry about that.” Callum said softly “I turned the heat on so it should get warm in here soon.” He remarked, as he turned the lights on in the car. To see his phone better.

Rayla held her hands underneath her thighs staring blankly at her skirt pattern as she pulled at her thumbs. A habit she'd had since she was young. She had to mentally force her body to stop shaking as she didn't want Callum's attention on her. But she did. But she didn't. How did people like Lujanne go on like 8 dates in 2 weeks?? This was nerve shattering, pulse rupturing torture!

“Hey so uh-” Callum began as he pulled the car out of park. Rayla's eyes instantly caught sight of Callum's grip on the wheel, fingers a little white from the way he was pressing his thumbs on the leather. “Um.. Are you a daytime kind of girl or a night owl?” And as soon as the words left Callum's mouth it was clear by his gritted teeth and pained expression that he wanted to jump out of the now moving car.

Rayla couldn't help the snort that left her lips as she looked at Callum. “What?” She grinned from ear to ear, hands taking a new position on her lap.

“Please ignore that!” Callum immediately whined, practically slamming his face into the horn at the first red light. “I just realized how stupid that sounds! What with you being a moonshadow elf and the term ‘night owl’.” He winced like it brought him physical pain.

And Rayla just kinda.. Leaned forward a bit, hand over her mouth as she giggled. “It wasn't.. all bad!” She tried but Callum shut her down with a hard shake of his head just as the light turned green.

“You know what, maybe you should talk now.” The male replied with another shake of his head. "So that this date doesn't end with you wanting to run from me.." Callum chuckled, though it was pretty obvious how nervous he was.

So cute.. He's just as nervous. If only that made her feel better.

"I really doubt that honestly." Rayla replied with a soft "heh" as they stopped at another red light. The moons soft crescent glow striking Rayla's cheek as she looked at her hands in her lap.

"But I mean.. It's better than silence.." Callum, pushed slightly. "Tell me anything you can think of, Anything at all, I'm not judgey."

Rayla pondered the thought as the car began to move again. She watched the road light up ahead from their car's headlights as she pondered what she could and couldn't tell Callum right now. He'd said it was ok? Could she say something really personal.. Ugh but Lujanne said don't do that on the first date..

"Rayla?"

"Uh.." The elf girl blurted as she racked her brain.

"Maybe a story about your-"

"Oh I got it!" Callum flinched, and Rayla instantly grew red in the face from her sudden outburst, but the male quickly brushed it aside with a chuckle.

"Or.. Whatever that was gonna be." Callum remarked, eyes more focused on Rayla then the road.

"Uh.. Heh.. I was gonna say I didn't live with my parents growing up.."

Callum's face sunk a bit as he drifted into a new lane. The streets had been pretty empty all night, only a few cars every now and then so they were making pretty good time.

"That sucks." Callum stated, Rayla didn't miss the way his head turned towards her quickly before focusing back. "What happened with that?"

"They had a job that required their attention. They needed to take care of that instead."

"That's awful, I'm sorry."

Now it was Rayla's turn to focus on Callum, "Why." She asked "Elf parents don't really stay their kid's whole life. It's very rare, most often the parents leave their young with the leader of their tribe and that elf will finish raising the young."

"Oh.. Then I'm sorry again."

Rayla raised an eyebrow, "Are you just gonna keep apologizing all night?"

"No! No. It's just I didn't really realize that elves had a different way of raising their young. I didn't mean to assume.. anything.."

The two fell silent for a couple minutes, the soft hum of the car turning and the gentle light from Callum's phone being the only thing grabbing their attention.

"I don't care that you didn't know that." Rayla coughed, hair falling over her face a bit, head lowered back down to her lap now. "I'm glad you care at all. Most people already understand these things so they don't say much."

Callum just sighed, brushing his hair back a bit with his fingers. "I wanna know more about elf culture."

"What?" Rayla blinked, head swerving towards Callum.

"I wanna know. So nothing like that happens again, tell me whatever you think is important and I'll listen."

And Rayla couldn't stop the smile gracing her face when she looked at Callum. His green eyes shimmered with a soft determination and he grinned back for an almost deadly amount of time. Thank god for his perfect smile. Rayla buried her head, running her thumbs over her knees, blood heating and rushing through her body at full speed like a small locomotive had been planted in her veins. As if he hadn't already been perfect. Her brain screamed.

"Where should I start?"

8:40

Almost holding hands before 9 pm. They walked through the packed parking lot, (so that's where all the people had gone) side by side, arms brushing and just for a brief moment their fingers rubbed. Which was obviously too much for Rayla because she bounced like toy ball. Heart beat colliding with her chest plate. If Callum had noticed, he didn't say anything, just continued walking, like he wasn't on a date with the weirdest girl ever.

Come on Rayla get it together. It was weird and new! And sweat inducing. She'd only ever held hands with two people, Lujanne and Runaan. Runaan when she was a young child and Lujanne during an incident where she almost sliced her finger off with her blades. She’d cried her eyes out and Lujanne just calmed her down by holding her hand and rubbing her back. She'd never been on a date before.. Never had a boyfriend. What if Callum actually did wanna hold hands but her palms got too sweaty? What if he wanted to kiss her? Oh god what if he wanted to kiss her?!

"Rayla." Callum interrupted her inner monologue, with a small smile. "Come on, I had the tickets on my phone." The male announced

What the- how long had she been thinking? They were just outside!

Rayla's brain began to feel fuzzy but she shrugged it off, following Callum through the hall, littered with people and smells. The faint smell of popcorn mixed with a stronger rubbery smell filled the room.

The hall was huge. Much much bigger than Rayla had pictured. The huge ceiling a bright white, with heavily illuminated yellow light that shone the entire floor over. Even though the place was full of people it was hard to really tell, everyone was spread out amongst the hallway. Kids bouncing soccer balls on their feet or tossing them to each other, some adults on the phone or playing with the kids and some people just purchasing souvenirs for their loved one's. It was actually quite comforting to see, all of it gradually lowering the hard throb of Rayla's heart.

"Would you want me to get you something?" Callum asked, politely smile unwavering. "If you're not a huge soccer fan all the souvenirs will bore you but some popcorn maybe?" The male asked as they walked pointing to a vendor.

Rayla had learned a long time ago about dates from Lujanne and how they work. The older elf had explained "date eating" and what kind of foods you should never ever eat on the first date. Surprisingly enough popcorn was number 3. If the food can easily get stuck between your teeth avoid it. She'd explained, no one wants to watch someone sit there picking kernels out of their teeth with their tongue.

The young elf shook her head. "I'm ok thanks." She replied gingerly.

"Well ok. This is us." The male remarked, as they reached a huge set of green doors. He pushed the door open with one hand gesturing for Rayla to lead with his other.

As if the hall wasn't big enough the actually stadium was far more intimidating. Everywhere you looked there were people and right below lay a huge field with nets on either side.

Callum must have sensed Rayla's mood change because he held out his hand. "It's ok. I remember the first time my step dad took me to one of these." He explained, this time Rayla let out a deep breath. She let her palm rest on Callum's and wrapped her fingers around the back of his hand.

Wow his hands are soft. Rayla couldn't help but run a thumb over smooth human skin. He didn't have big hands either, they fit perfectly with her's and despite the nervousness he'd portrayed earlier his hands weren't sweaty. She couldn't resist the urge to slightly flip his hand in her grasp, no scratches, nails all perfectly cut and round. So perfect

"I like your hands too." Rayla's head shot up to Callum's soft paralyzing smile. His eyes twinkled as his gaze fell from Rayla's face to her hand wrapped in his. "Four fingers huh?"

"Y-yeah.." Rayla cooed, a deep pink dusting her cheeks.

10:00

It was hard for Rayla to pay attention to the start of the game or the teams even with Callum this close to her, still holding her hand, occasionally whispering in her ear. All of it made her heart race uncontrollably, brain still letting off soft screams at the situation she was in. Callum really liked her. This was happening. She was on a date with the guy she had over 30 tattoos because of.

"Are you hungry?" Callum asked "I could buy us something."

"I.. Don't know.." Rayla decided, pulse quickening at the thought of having to pick food out of her teeth in front of Callum. Problem was she hadn't really been able to eat all day, just light snacking. She'd probably pass out if she went too much longer without eating. "Maybe.."

"I'm sorry.. I don't mean to push, it's just I don't like eating on a date, if my date doesn't also eat.."

Why is he so sweet! Oh no he's probably hungry too! How could she not realize!

"I could eat." Rayla announced, experimentally squeezing Callum's hand.

The male chuckled shaking their connected hands a bit. "What would you like?"

While they had been walking through the rows of seats Rayla had grown very interested in something besides Callum's hand. There were people with bowls of chips covered in cheese with small peppers on top and some with just cheese chips. It was a messy choice yes, completely going against the other types of foods Lujanne had been warning her against but she definitely wanted to try it. Ellis had definitely made something similar a couple nights ago. What were they called? Nachos was it?

"Maybe.. Some nachos?.." She tried, heart thumping wildly.

Callum smiled sweetly, "Oh, you like nachos, me too!" And Rayla gradually calmed down, squeezing her knee with her free hand and smiling weakly. "Ok, two nachos then." Callum stated, standing up and letting Rayla's hand go. “I'll be right back.” And with that Callum exited the row, excusing himself to get past a group of men at the end.

She couldn't lie as soon as Callum left everything was back in perspective. The people next to her talking and laughing a bit. The entire crowd of fans both young and old reacting to the game, the announcers and the actual people playing soccer below all of it. Now that she was really paying attention she could also see just how high the seat actually were. It was a good view as dizzying as it actually felt to look down on everything. What should she do? Who was even playing? Who should she be cheering for? Callum had probably explained who's team he was on but Rayla had been too deep in his eyes to actually notice. Who could blame her they're gorgeous! Ok.. Ok.. This is fine.. Wait what if Callum wasn't a causal fan and she actually should be paying attention in case he wanted to talk about the game later.. Damn..

Was there a specific seating arrangement for people rooting for a specific team? Rayla scanned the aisles but that didn't really help. Most people weren't wearing jerseys, some had them covered up with hoodies and the people that were wearing jerseys were a bit scattered. Damnit.

When the crowd began to cheer again her eyes focused on the field below. A soccer player with a green uniform ran across the field to grab water and was immediately replaced by another male on the bench. Maybe she should just cheer for the team with the highest amount of points.. Wait…. What are the names of the teams?…. Nice job Rayla.

How long had it been since Callum had left? It felt like an eternity.. Was she supposed to cheer when the crowd did? She felt so out of place suddenly. Why couldn't they just go to the movies.. Her head felt hot and she squeezed her knees as hard as she could. It felt like her throat was closing, she closed her eyes. Tried to block out the screaming of the crowd, the screaming of her brain, everything that made her wanna get out of here.

She jerked up a bit when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her eyes came up to look at the figure standing next to her. Callum.. But.. For some reason she was unsure if it was him. His entire demeanor had changed, eyes drained of their bright twinkling and face fallen as he looked to Rayla.

"Rayla.. I have to go, I have to take you home. I'm sorry."

@thesupremebagel-lord

[maj0rmayhem]

Finally Able To Feel Safe

Fandom: Persona 5

Warnings: None

Ships: Platonic Phantom Thieves + Implied Pining Pegoryu

Partially dedicated to @fluffieart for encouraging this mess and also being generally amazing <3

Summary: Ann stood up abruptly, almost knocking the mug of coffee in front of her over as she shook the table, much to Akira’s displeasure, “Okay, no. We can have this argument later. Right now. I’m calling an emergency Phantom Thieves mission. Objective: Get Akira Some Sleep.” She declared.

Or: Akira's Personas won't shut up and he just wants a nap. Luckily his friends are here to help.

Fic under the cut! Also read here on AO3!

Akira’s day started with him having to hold an intervention.

Inside his own head. 

“If I hear another word about which kind of noodle is better, I’m executing both of you the next chance I get. Got it? You.. you can’t even eat!” 

It hadn’t always been this way. First, his mind was silent. Then, he had awakened Arsene, and they had been fine together.

After the discovery he could hold multiple masks… that’s when things started to go downhill. He didn’t think having eight different demons (basically) clamoring to have their voices heard would leave anyone in a good mood. 

It also meant he hadn’t had a good night's sleep in months and it left him on edge and short-tempered. 

The rest of the Phantom Thieves were starting to notice: shooting worried glances his way when they thought he couldn’t see them, not-so-subtle suggestions that he take a day to rest, it had gotten so bad that one day he discovered Ann had left a pillow in his desk at school, claiming she “didn’t want to see him hurt himself the next time he fell asleep in the middle of class” (which had only happened once, and nearly sent him in to cardiac arrest when he was startled awake, so he didn’t exactly plan on doing that again if he could avoid it. Though he appreciated the thought). But he didn’t want them to worry. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted. He was meant to be their leader, someone they could rely on, who was confident in their decisions, and the rock the team so desperately needed with everyone being thrust on them so suddenly. And... shit, he never stopped trying to live up to their expectations, but he could tell how miserably he was failing and he hated it.

He was startled out of his self-deprecating spiral by an arm being thrown over his shoulders, effectively throwing him back to the reality where he was currently with the three other Phantom Thieves at LeBlanc, talking about nothing and just enjoying each other’s company in the week of Madarame’s change of heart. 

“Dude, no offense, but you look like shit,”

“Ryuji!” That was Ann’s voice. It took him a moment to place everyone’s names and voices, kind of like he was thinking through a fog. 

“What? I’m just bein’ honest.” Ryuji didn’t sound truly defensive. More amused (and maybe a little concerned) than anything. 

“To be fair, he does look significantly less put together than he has in past meetings.” Yusuke agreed, his words definitely layered with more obvious concern (in Yusuke’s own way).

The thought that they all felt like they could be themselves around each other, no masks, caused the shadow of a smile to flit across his expression.

“And yet you still try to keep a crumbling mask up around them”

“Arsene don’t even try and be fucking deep right now. Not even an hour ago you were trying to convince Akira to take revenge on a stranger,”

“To be fair, the passenger was unnecessarily aggressive,”

“Oh, I am so not getting into this with you too. This is even worse than your heathen ass hating pasta”

“Oh, now you’ve started it -”

And there went Akira’s moment of positivity. The smile disappeared and he reached one hand up to rub at his temples, leaning back against Ryuji’s arm that was still around his shoulder and hissing, 

“I… you guys can’t even eat just shut the fuck up and let me have this please,”

The table fell into silence almost immediately, the sudden confusion and unease almost palpable. Akira didn’t seem to notice, eyes closed, frowning as he continued applying pressure to his temples like if he just pressed hard enough he could silence the voices in his head. 

Finally, Ryuji broke the silence, obviously bewildered as he gawked at the obviously exhausted boy who seemed to be using his arm as a pillow, “Man, what the hell?”

Akira immediately stiffened at the words, sitting straight up and glancing around the table, “Oh… oh no, I didn’t -”

“Say that out loud? Yeah, totally.” Ann finished for him, watching him with a raised eyebrow as he groaned and slouched forward, burying his face in his hands.

Dragging his hands down his face before sighing and straightening, he decided that there was no point denying there was an issue, lest he makes it worse and causes them to think he was completely mentally unstable, “Ok, so you know how your Personas will sometimes talk to you in your head?” He began, only to stop at the unexpected befuddlement all around him. 

“Wait, you can hear your Persona all the time? Not just when they’ve been summoned?” Morgana asked, sitting up from where they had been lounging across the table.

The question gave Akira pause, and he felt a cold dread coil at the pit of his stomach, and his voice was small and wary when he answered, “Yes? I thought that was normal. Doesn’t everyone?”

Ann shook her head, “The only time I can talk to Carmen is when I summon her in the Metaverse,”

“Yeah man. I think me ‘n Captain Kidd have exchanged, like… maybe three words since the first time he was summoned?” He rolled his eyes, face flushing slightly as he added, “He’s normally too busy talking to Arsene to speak to me much anyway,”

In any other situation, Akira would have been immediately sheepish at the reminder of the… rather close relationship between their Personas, which was not helped when he felt Arsene practically purr at the back of his mind, which was disturbing enough in and of itself.

Morgana thankfully continued speaking, oblivious to his inner turmoil, “No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone being able to speak to their Personas like you’re describing. And they’re always there?” 

Akira offered a mute nod as an answer, twisting his lips at the reminder of his complete lack of privacy even within his own mind.

“You’d be lost without us.”

“Oh, I really wouldn’t. I’d get some sleep without you, that’s for sure.”

“Ouch, Wildcard! I thought we meant something to you”

“-kira? You with us?” 

He blinked several times, forcing himself back into the current conversation and out of his head, only to be confronted with several pairs of worried expressions, and Ryuji’s face way too close to his own. 

Which he reacted to very naturally, and definitely did not find his face flushing bright red as he barely suppressed a squeak, breathing a sigh of relief when the boy finally leaned back (although he did fail to notice there was still an arm loosely stretched over his shoulders).

“So, got stuck in a conversation or something?” Ryuji asked, eyes narrowed slightly.

At Akira’s small nod, Morgana physically perked up, walking over with shining eyes, “Really? What were they saying? What did they sound like?”

Pursing his lips, he answered the first question as vaguely as he could, not wanting to get into the many odd conversations he was forced to overhear, “They’re… arguing. And… I don’t know? They’re all different, and I guess it’s… it’s almost like a feeling, more than anything. But I know exactly what they’re saying.” With a sigh, he added under his breath, “Even when I wish I didn’t,”

If Morgana was disappointed in his terse answers, they didn’t show it, looking nothing short of fascinated as they sat back on their haunches with a small hum. 

Glancing around the table, Akira noted that Ann looked a little perturbed at the revelation, Yusuke… well he could never tell what Yusuke was thinking, but he didn’t look particularly caught off-guard, and Ryuji looked concerned, like he had just put together a puzzle and didn’t like the image it fit together. 

“So that’s why you’ve been so off your game recently, huh? I mean, you almost passed out right at the entrance to Mementos the other day, and scared the crap out of us thinkin’ you’d gotten hit by something.”

Akira flushed at the reminder, finding the table to suddenly be more interesting than the amused realization on his friends' faces, “Maybe... yes. It’s not that bad, okay” He protested weakly, before looking back up at the group.

“Akira… when was the last time you actually had enough sleep?” Morgana asked, voice caught somewhere between exasperated and concerned.

“Oh, uh… it started getting bad partway into Kamoshida’s palace, I think? That’s when I started collecting so many masks.”

The reaction was instantaneous and overwhelming (from everyone except Yusuke, who hadn’t been there for that long, and either way, never seemed to show much emotion if he could help it).

“Since Kamosh - Akira, it's been ages!” 

“Dude, how are you even upright right now? Damn.”

“As the leader of the Phantom Thieves, you should take more caution in taking care of yourself!”

Their other protests ended up blending together in a cacophony of noise that did nothing to help his growing headache. Burying his face in his arms with a groan, he offered a muffled platitude, “Look, I get it. I know its not good and I probably should have brought it up earlier, but I didn’t want to worry anyone! Plus, I thought it was normal for them to talk to you, and this was just… a side effect of having so many.”

“Like anything about your connection to the Metaverse is normal,”

“Not helping!”

“I’m surprised I didn’t notice anything earlier. The amount of distress in your expression is an amazing source of inspiration,”

Akira lifted his head enough to glare at the artist, “Thanks, Yusuke. I’m glad my turmoil can provide something other than exhaustion.”

Ann stood up abruptly, almost knocking the mug of coffee in front of her over as she shook the table, much to Akira’s displeasure, “Okay, no. We can have this argument later. Right now. I’m calling an emergency Phantom Thieves mission. Objective: Get Akira Some Sleep.” She declared. 

“Guys, really -”

“Oh man, now this is a mission I can get behind!”

“Seriously -”

“Let's help out our fearless leader!”

“Come on, Yusuke help me -”

Said teenager snapped his sketchbook shut, “Well, if we are all in agreement, then I guess the decision is made. Akira and his sleeping habits are our next target,”

“Its is not unan-!” Akira didn’t have time to finish his (admittedly weak) protest before he was dragged out of his seat when Ryuji stood up and grabbed his hand, Ann trapping him in on the other side.

Not that he could outrun them in his current state, but if there was one thing they had learned in their time as Phantom Thieves, it was better safe than sorry. 

Ann and Ryuji each looped their arms through his, matching mischievous grins on their faces. If those two were teaming up, there was no way Akira was going to get himself free, so with a sigh, he slouched slightly and resigned himself to his fate as he was dragged up the stairs to the attic he called home. 

~~~~~~

Akira was deposited gracelessly onto his bed with a small “oof” once they were upstairs, and left by himself as the other four huddled close together, coming up with a “game plan” to help the incessant chatter of Personas in his mind manageable enough for a real nap (as Ryuji so eloquently put it). 

Watching them with their heads bent, whispering amongst themselves, he couldn’t help the fond smile that found itself on his lips, amusement and gratefulness twinkling in his gaze. Back home, he had thought he had had friends, but now he could see that those were one-sided at best, and downright toxic at worst. Now, he saw a support system he hadn’t known he could have, and… maybe it was okay to drop some of his masks around them. For a long time, Akira had been afraid to show any weakness, to break his composure in even the smallest of ways around them. He was supposed to be their leader, and… he still was. But more than that, he was their friend. And he would keep repeating that to himself to try and combat the guilt bubbling just under the surface at letting himself fall like this.

As lost in his thoughts and the dull drone of conversation between Personas as he was, he didn’t notice Ryuji approaching until it was too late, and there was an arm thrown back over his shoulders and a warm presence by his side, startling him so badly he would have fallen right off the bed if Ryuji hadn’t adjusted his grip to hold him in place with an amused snort. 

Pointedly ignoring the way his face burned at the unexpected contact, he turned his head to glare at Ryuji, who just shook his head, still shaking slightly with laughter as he pulled Akira back so he was close against his side (Ryuji also ignored the way his face was probably a bright red, but they had all agreed this was part of the best way to make sure Akira actually slept. And now that he was actually looking, he felt immensely guilty he hadn’t noticed how exhausted his best friend had been before. His posture was slouched, and now that he was able to take a closer look, he could see the makeup under his eyes, now starting to be wiped off by their hands-on approach to dragging Akira up the stairs, covering heavy dark circles. One glance at the others and he could tell they felt just as guilty, but were trying to hide it as they knew it would only make Akira feel worse about the situation). 

With Akira secured against his side, Ann switched off the lights, and Yusuke pulled out his phone, playing some obscure soft song that only he knew with a small smile. All of this accomplished, Morgana hopped onto the bed and curled up in Akira’s lap with a light purr, and Ann plopped herself down on Akira’s other side, leaning her head on his shoulder as Yusuke took the couch, sketchbook back out and the soft sound of pencil scratching on paper blending with the soft notes of the music in the background to create a pleasant, lilting euphony. 

Quietly, Ann began speaking about nothing in particular, just letting the sound of her voice carry through the room. Occasionally, the others would interject with an equally quiet comment. Akira wasn’t sure when it had happened, but he only noticed he was curled against Ryuji’s chest rather than his shoulder when he chucked at something that was said, and Akira felt the vibrations of his laughter more than heard it. Ann was still leaning against his side, her legs stretched out across the bed, and Morgana was a solid weight on his lap. Surrounded by so much warmth from all sides - Ryuji on one side, Ann on the other, Morgana, and even Yusuke’s presence, only known through the sounds of his pencil - Akira felt the tension gradually drain out of his body until he was practically boneless against Ryuji, who simply shifted slightly and tightened his grip around Akira’s back to accommodate the extra weight with no complaint except a small snort. 

Almost without him even realizing it, Akira’s eyes began to flutter closed, focusing on the steady rise and fall of Ryuji’s chest and the heartbeat under his ear, as well as the soft conversation of the others to help drown out the voices. Barely conscious, a small smile graced his features.

It had been a long time since Akira had felt this relaxed around other people - not even his family. It had been even longer since anyone could make him feel safe enough that he could drop his guard and fall asleep surrounded by their warm ambiance.

In short, Akira had never felt more loved, nor more love for others, than he did in that last moment before he blissfully drifted into a dreamless sleep, surrounded by the family he couldn’t have hoped for when he was sent to Japan, but one he wouldn’t trade for the world.

As his breathing evened out, the other four fell quiet and exchanged smiles full of relief and affection above him, glad to see him finally at ease in the way he deserved after all they had been through.

(And if/when Akira woke up hours later, more well-rested than he could remember being in a long time, there was a sketch left lying on his desk of him, Ryuji, Ann, and Morgana all curled up on top of each other with small smiles, happily asleep. Well… no one commented on how it was hanging on the wall the next time they were all there.)

[taestfully]

You spend the night in

Request: Can you do a cozy night in? Maybe playing board games or cuddling while watching tv?

Xiumin

You really didn’t care about anything in that moment nor did you even want to care. You were cuddled in bed under soft, warm blankets with your loving boyfriend next to you. Neither of you knew what time it was, but going by the soft sun rays that filtered in though the curtains, it was almost sun down. Though, that didn’t matter to either of you. You just wanted to dwell in that peaceful moment as long as you could.

Minseok was the first to break the silence. “We should get up. We should do something. But I don’t want to move.”

You giggled. “It doesn’t hurt to spend all day in bed every once in a while, Min.”

“No,” he yawned. “It doesn’t. At least I’m not being lazy all by myself.” He shot you a sleepy grin to which you responded with a chaste kiss.

“I like being lazy with you. Especially since I don’t get to do it much.”

“But I do feel like we should at least get up to eat,” Minseok chuckled, stretching his limbs.

You lifted your head and propped it on your hand, looking down fondly at him. “Yeah? What do you want to do for breakfast –“ you caught yourself and giggled “– dinner, I mean.”

“Hey, breakfast for dinner isn’t a bad idea.”

You grinned and began to untangle yourself from the blankets. “I’ll make the pancakes!”

Suho

No appointments, no one to see, and nothing to do. The perfect combination for a great night home with Junmyeon. And what better way to spend the evening than binge watching Netflix? You’d gathered the pillows and blankets while your boyfriend waited for the popcorn to pop in the microwave. You smiled at the pallet you made in the floor, grabbed the remote, and settled yourself onto the pallet. “Junmyeon!” You called out. “Come on!”

“Okay, I’m coming!” Junmyeon quickly dumped the popcorn into a bowl and hurried into the living room to take his place next to you.

You started the movie and snuggled into your boyfriend’s shoulder as he munched on popcorn. He had a good grip on the bowl and when you went to grab some popcorn, Junmyeon pulled the bowl out of your reach. “Hey!” you yelped, looking up to glare at him.

Junmyeon shook his head. “Mine,” he said and stuck his tongue out.

You rolled your eyes. “Really? You’re not going to let me have any?”

Junmyeon picked up a piece of popcorn and held it up to your face. “I was just kidding,” he chuckled. “Here, I’ll feed you.”

You gratefully accepted the popcorn and smiled. The two of you spent the night cuddled together, watching movies and feeding each other popcorn until both of you were full.

Lay

“We have the drinks, the blankets, the pillows, and the snacks. Movie night is a go!” You grinned from ear to ear as you settled yourself on the couch, tv remote in hand. “Is the popcorn ready?”

Yixing smiled. “It’s in the microwave right now!” He settled himself next to you, wrapping an arm around you to pull you close. He kissed your temple. “I’m really glad we’re able to spend the night together, (y/n).”

You giggled as you rested your head on Yixing’s shoulder. “Me too. I can’t remember the last time we had a free night together like this.”

“It’s been too long,” he sighed. Yixing’s arm that was around you tightened.

You gazed up at him lovingly, feeling your chest swell with emotion. It really had been too long since you had quality time with your boyfriend. You’d spent so much time apart due to his crazy schedule that you’d almost forgotten what it was like to have him home, safe and sound with you. “Well, we’ll just have to make up for all that time tonight, yeah?”

Yixing agreed, looking into your eyes, a spark igniting between the two of you in that moment. The two of you closed the gap between you, your lips meeting in what seemed like the first kiss in forever. It didn’t take long before the two of you got caught up in each other, forgetting about everything around you. The only thing that brought the two of you back to reality was the smell of something burning.

“What’s burning?” You asked, your nose scrunched at the unpleasant smell. You saw shock and realization wash over Yixing’s face.

“The popcorn!” He ran off to the kitchen, cutting off the microwave that was beeping loudly — you wondered how neither of you had heard it sooner — and pulling out the smoking bag of popcorn. You heard him groan.

You couldn’t help but giggle.

Baekhyun

It was a rare occasion to get any quality time with Baekhyun. With his hectic idol life, he was barely able to offer you any alone time at all. He tried his best, though, and on the nights he could actually spend time with you, he made sure you knew just how important you were to him. That you were worth spending any free moment he had on you.

And that night was a free night, which meant he was going to be cuddled up to you the whole time to make up for all the time away. You suggested a movie, and he suggested a movie plus a fort. He always had to be extra.

When the fort was built, albeit haphazardly due to Baekhyun’s questionable fort building skills, and the pillows and blankets were stuffed inside, it was time for the movie. You went ahead and hit play. You nestled into the soft pillows and brought the blanket up to your chin. “Babe,” you called out to your boyfriend, who was still messing with the fort. “Come lay down. It’s time for the movie.”

Baekhyun chuckled and stood in front of the TV. “Is it?” He started dancing, flailing his arms and jumping about to block your view. You giggled.

“Come on, Baek! Stop it! I’m ready for you to cuddle me.”

And then suddenly, he was running to you, falling into place next to you. The both of you laughed as he wrapped his limbs around you.

Chen

For the millionth time that night, you were reminded that Jongdae was very competitive.

What was supposed to be an evening spent playing games and spending quality time with one another turned into an all out competition. It didn’t help that you were competitive too.

“Dae, there’s no way you should’ve won!” You whined, your shoulders slumping. “If I wouldn’t have pulled that one bad card.”

Jongdae chuckled. “Don’t worry. You can always try again next time!” He was gloating and he did nothing to hide the smug grin that he was wearing. You rolled your eyes.

“No, actually I think I’m done with getting my ass handed to me at cards.”

“Aw come on, babe. Just one more try!” He was urging you, and you really wanted to try again just so you could win and wipe that smirk off his face, but you were done. Your pride had taken enough blows for the night.

“No, I think I’ll just head to the couch and watch a movie.” You sighed and got up to head to the couch to sit and sulk over your loss, but you felt a hand wrap around your wrist.

“One more round and winner gets to pick what to watch on tv, no arguments, for a month.” Jongdae offered you a pretty good deal, and you were teetering on what to do. If you won, you could run it in his face and pick all the shows you wanted without hearing him whine. Or if you lost, then you’d never hear the end of it. You sighed.

“All right. You’re on.” Jongdae grinned at you as you sat back down at the table.

Chanyeol

Movie nights with Chanyeol always started out with the two of you arguing over snacks. You agreed over what movies to watch with no problem yet snacks always seemed to be an issue.

“I want popcorn, Chanyeol,” you sighed, crossing your arms and giving him your best pouty face.

He shook his head. “We always eat popcorn. Let’s eat something else,” Chanyeol held up some chocolate. “Let’s eat some chocolate, yeah?”

You held up a bag of popcorn, challenging him. “No, popcorn.”

Chanyeol narrowed his eyes at you, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. You watched as he set the assortment of chocolates down before sauntering closer to you. You backed away as he came closer, watching him. His hands rose and came towards you, ready to unleash an onslaught of tickles.

“Chanyeol, no!” You shuffled backwards until you felt the counter against your back.

Even though you wrapped your arms protectively around your middle, Chanyeol’s fingers were still able to make contact and send ticklish sensations over your skin. You doubled over into his chest, laughing and pleading him to stop. “I won’t stop until you agree, (y/n).”

You tried to endure. You really did. You didn’t want to give in to him, but you couldn’t handle the tickling anymore. Your sides were beginning to hurt. “Ok, fine! Chocolate it is!”

Chanyeol laughed in victory.

D.O.

With Kyungsoo as your boyfriend, an evening spent inside didn’t consist of the usual board games or movie marathons. They were made up of cooking and baking all sorts of foods and tasty treats. Tonight, the two of you were baking cupcakes. Well, you were trying to but he sort of took over the whole thing.

While you were making the batter, he was constantly correcting you, saying things like “don’t put too much sugar” and “you have to put one teaspoon of vanilla and no more than that”. Oh, and your favorite was “don’t get any of the egg shells in there or we’re starting over!”.

You were this close to smacking him.

You sighed as you finished mixing the batter, thankful to be done. You didn’t know if you could take anymore pestering. “You know,” you started, wiping your hands with a towel. “This is just for fun. It’s not like we’re competing.”

Kyungsoo shrugged. “I know. But what’s the point of baking if you’re not going to do it right?”

“Um, I don’t know. How about spending quality time with your significant other?” You responded sarcastically. “That seems like a pretty good point to me.”

“Well there’s that, yeah, but I still would like for my cupcakes to be right.”

You looked at him in disbelief before rolling your eyes and turning your attention back to the batter. Then, you had an idea. An evil one, but a good one. You smirked before getting a handful of batter and throwing it at Kyungsoo’s face. He gasped and you laughed.

You saw his eyes shine menacingly before grabbing some batter for himself. You laughed and ran away but he followed you.

The two of you launched into an all out food war.

Kai

The availability to spend a night together was rare, so you and Jongin dedicated the night to quality time and playing games. The two of you played Candyland, Monopoly, Sorry! Not Sorry!, and the Game of Life.

“Aha! I win!” Jongin cheered after a successful play of Life.

You pouted. “It’s not fair. I so would’ve won had I not kept pulling so many bad cards.”

Jongin patted your leg. “I guess things just didn’t work out in your life,” he joked, referring to your loss in the Life game.

You rolled your eyes. “Funny,” you said, crossing your arms. “You just got lucky.”

“I did,” he said, and there was a meaning behind his words, but you didn’t grasp it. You just rolled your eyes again. “Want to know how?”

You quirked an eyebrow at your boyfriend, shrugging. “I don’t know. You just got lucky and won the game?”

Jongin smiled and shook his head. He looked at you in the eyes while grabbing your hand. “I won the Life game, but I also won in real life by getting together with an awesome person like you.”

You giggled at his syrupy sweet and cheesy words. You squeezed his hand tight. “That was so sappy,” you said. “But sweet.” You kissed his cheek.

Jongin blushed. “I’m just happy we finally got a free night together, that’s all. I also had to make you feel better after losing to me.”

You swatted at his arm and laughed.

Sehun

You and Sehun had spent so much time trying to decide what to do that the two of you became too lazy to do anything and decided to lay around. Sehun was sprawled out on the couch on his phone and you were on the floor with your back against the couch. Vivi was sleeping at your side.

“Well, a night in isn’t too bad of an idea,” you said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two of you. Sehun hummed in agreement.

“I don’t think we’re going to decide on anything to do at this point, so yeah.”

“Want to watch a movie?” You turned around to look at him. “I can put in some popcorn.”

Sehun shrugged, still interested in whatever he was doing in his phone. “All right.”

You got everything ready to watch a movie. You popped the popcorn, and gathered the blankets. And even though it took forever to pick the movie, the two of you were glad to just chill instead of getting out and about.

Evenings like this were rare, so even if it took forever for you to decide what to do, you were just glad to be able spend time with your boyfriend.

[beingallelite]

"They need to stop this match. Seriously. Or someone's going to die."

The fans sitting directly behind me at All Elite Wrestling's All Out last month in Chicago were worried about Nick Jackson. The younger of the two Jackson brothers who make up the iconic Young Bucks tag team, Nick is the daredevil of the team: a high-flying wild man who seemingly knows no fear.

But everyone in the audience felt it for him during the "Escalera De La Muerte" match with the Lucha Bros—especially as he tumbled from atop a ladder all the way to the floor where he missed all but a piece of the two tables that were supposed to break his fall. It was the highlight-reel spot in a spectacle that was immediately ensconced in wrestling legend, one of the most incredible stunt shows the sport has seen.

"We probably almost went too far," Nick admits in an exclusive interview. "There was a point where I almost died when the ladder was tossed and I clipped the top rope with my feet and went through the table. And one minute later, Matt landed awkwardly on his side when Penta pushed the ladder. Those two things weren't supposed to go down that way, but when they did go completely wrong, that's when I was thinking 'I hope fans are not thinking this is too much.'

"...I think it was my idea to end the feud with a ladder match. We just didn't know what we were going to name it at the time. (AEW owner) Tony (Khan) loved the idea to do a ladder match at the end. We knew if we had a ladder match with these guys it would be nuts because we've had ladder matches before but we'd never had a ladder match with two of the craziest wrestlers in the business today.

"We knew if we got them in a ladder match, it would probably make history. And here we are now."

Before Nick even began his frantic, foolish and utterly spectacular fall, his brother Matt knew something had gone horribly wrong.

"Immediately, I knew that there was going to be an issue," Matt says. "Nick was supposed to be climbing a 10-foot ladder, but the Luchas had by mistake taken out the 8-foot ladder. From the rehearsal we knew it was gonna take a 10-foot. When I saw Nick climbing the 8-footer, I thought 'He's not gonna make it. I don't even know why he's trying, he's not gonna make it.'

"I'm on the floor panicked but what do you do? I figured he's gonna have to climb to the very, very top rung, which he pretty much did. He was on the second to last. I was concerned, but I thought to myself as long as he can make one of the tables he'll be OK and it can help break his fall.

"I saw him up there, and as he was falling, my heart almost stopped. I was watching my little brother just almost die right there in the match."

It was a frightening moment. But despite the pleas of some in our section, the match continued. Matt still had some high-risk, high-impact spots of his own to close the bout and knew his brother, despite being banged up, was going to be OK.

"We always give each other a look to kind of talk to each other," Matt says. "We've been doing this long enough now we can talk to each other without actually speaking to each other. I can just look at his eyes. I saw his eyes and he gave me the look like 'I'm OK.'

"We have such good referees at AEW who we trust with our lives. Rick Knox has been reffing our matches our entire career, so he's been with us throughout these types of matches. He communicated with Nick right away and then he came and told me that he was OK. It is like a game of Telephone. We're all talking without talking. There's this secret society stuff going on and nobody realizes it."

While the fan-favorite Young Bucks lost the match, no one in the audience could be too upset. They were, it seemed, just happy that everyone survived the carnage.

Because of their popular YouTube series, Being The Elite, the Bucks seem less like distant and unapproachable celebrity athletes and more like close friends you simply haven't met yet. It's a unique relationship that gives fans a cheering interest in the match that feels different to anything else in wrestling.

"I feel like when we get hurt, or almost get hurt, they are so emotionally invested it's like watching their friend almost die," Matt says. "The crowd would go to a hushed silence after some of those bad falls because they really care about us.

"This is one of the few matches of my career, that I can remember, where fans were literally begging me to never do one again. When the fans are saying that, it really hits home for me. Maybe we have pushed the boundaries a little too far. We had guardian angels watching over us that night."

Tag team action, though perhaps action not quite this risky, will be a staple of AEW programming. The division has been dormant in the American mainstream for decades, with even title matches serving as little more than pre-show fodder on WWE's top shows.

The Bucks, executives as well as wrestlers for the new promotion, are uniquely situated to serve as their own proof of concept, demonstrating to any skeptics that tag team wrestling can mean money in contemporary wrestling.

"For some reason, whatever it is, Vince McMahon just doesn't like tag team wrestling," Nick says. "And for 20 years now, he's controlled the mainstream market in wrestling. It's become a lost art form because of that. I think we're gonna change that come October 2 because we have the best tag teams in wrestling. We're gonna focus on it more so than anything you've seen in 20 years. Don't be surprised if a tag team match is the main event on TV multiple times a year."

Wearing the dual hat as executive and wrestler hasn't always been easy for others who have attempted to pull it off over the years. In the case of AEW, all four executive vice presidents (the Bucks, Cody Rhodes and Kenny Omega) are among the most popular acts in the company. That means they'll be putting themselves into prominent positions on the card, something that might not sit well with other wrestlers and a subsection of hypercritical fans.

"There's a fine line, but when it's all said and done, Tony is the last call to order," Nick says. "He has final say on everything. There have been two times now where Matt and I have actually said 'OK, we want to lose tonight' and it gets to Tony and he goes, 'Nope, you guys are winning.' We tried to dispute and we've failed both times. Of course, fans aren't going to see that and will probably think I'm even lying by saying it, but it's the truth."

While Matt agrees it's a tricky situation, he believes it's manageable if they keep the same ethos and philosophies that have guided them to this point.

"I never even wanted to tell people I was an EVP and it just kind of got out," he says. "There are other EVPs who love that. They want to talk about it. That's fine, but Nick and I have always been the type of people who say, 'No, I'm always a wrestler first and I want people to think of me as a wrestler.'

"We always just want to be one of the boys. It's tricky territory. They are going to say, 'Well, they're booking it. Of course, they're gonna go over.' Then there's the argument they are the popular act everyone wants to see so, of course, they should win.

"I don't think we should overthink it. A big reason we did this was to shine a spotlight on talent that isn't as well-known, and Nick and I are very unselfish in that way. We really want to get other people over.

"We don't have to win every match. We've been losing most of our career, people don't realize. We probably don't have a winning record if you looked at it. It's not that important to us, but we should keep ourselves to a point where we don't look overly weak. It's very, very tricky, and you know what? We are never going to be able to keep everybody happy."

By next week at this time, the inaugural episode of AEW Dynamite will be done. What the promotion is, and what it should be, will be widely debated for weeks and probably years to come. But the Jacksons know from experience what they don't want it to be if they want to see success.

"You have to be different," Nick says. "You can't try to be them. The one thing TNA did wrong was try to be a lesser version of them. We can't be them because we're not competing with them. We have to be different and we have to listen to the fans."

For Matt, it's all about serving the audience that helped get them here. AEW talks about fans as family and intends to build a show wrestling fans can love, not one they watch begrudgingly hoping this is the week when things turn around.

"They feel like they're so neglected," Matt says. "The things that they want, they just don't get. What we learned early on when we did our first show, All In, was we built this entire show and gave the fans the finishes they wanted, and they came out of that show feeling so good.

"Some of the things they expected, but we learned that it's OK sometimes if they expect something and they want something, you just give it to them. It's what a really good television show is. You build to this climax and you're thinking in the back of your head, 'Man, when they get to the season finale, they have to do it this way,' and then just imagine actually doing that.

"Aesthetically, we have to look, we have to smell, we have to sound different. If you're flipping through the channels on Wednesday night, you have to know within one second from looking at one frame of our show, 'Oh, that's AEW.'"

While no one can say for sure yet what AEW Dynamite will look like, The Young Bucks are willing to share what it won't be. As much of their success as they owe to Being The Elite, they have no intention of trying to duplicate their YouTube phenomenon on mainstream television. Instead, it will morph into a companion piece for the actual show, continuing to develop characters and bringing the audience closer to the performers as people.

"We're going to keep those things separate, and I kind of like that," Matt says. "I think BTE should live on YouTube. It can be the TV-MA version of our show. You can watch SCU do a PG-13 rant on the Turner program, and you can watch Frankie (Kazarian) drop 12 f-bombs on Being The Elite.

"As for the Road To program, I would love it if we kept a lot of that stuff and put it on the television show because that's a great way to develop characters and tell their stories. I think our television show will look like a lot of the stuff on Road To."

By Wednesday, the guessing games can finally come to an end. After months of buildup, AEW will finally have arrived on national television. Stay tuned to this space for weekly coverage and more exclusive interviews and content.

Hard Times Promo of the Week

The wrestlers of WWE and AEW spent months building a bridge of good will, agreeing almost to a person that a second major wrestling promotion could only benefit the talent.

The rise of AEW and NXT gives prospective wrestlers two more places to ply their trade and creates dozens of full-time jobs in a business that had been shrinking for decades.

Well, Kenny Omega took a flamethrower to that bridge last week, dismissing NXT wrestlers as little more than preliminary fodder still in the developmental stage of their careers. This week, just in case, he firebombed what was left of the relationship between the two groups in an incredible promo on Being The Elite.

Omega, sitting in front of a giant blowup poster of his Pro Wrestling Illustrated cover, ostensibly apologized for his previous comments. But then, thinking the camera was off in an ode to The Simpsons' "Gabbo" episode, proceeded to give "those SOBs" the business. In particular, he targeted NXT preliminary wrestler Dominik Dijakovic in an in-character rant.

Here's the money segment:

"He's not even used. OK? But I can see him. Donovon D--khead. Right? Sitting there, 'Now Triple H will push me. I'm gonna get the TV time now! I'm gonna stand up for the team.'

"I speak a promo in character, OK? Is he mad that I said bad things about Jon Moxley? No. How many fans do you think came to me and said, 'Kenny, not cool, bro! You really want to hurt Jon Moxley? You're not sympathetic to his injury?' How many people do you think f--king said that?

"No, its these children. It's these people that barely have a grasp on the English language and they're tweeting at me saying, ‘How dare you say that these guys are developmental talent! They're not developmental and they're better than you actually. They did more for the business than you!'

"OK. You want f--king reality? You know how many match-of-the-year awards I have? You know how many records I f--king broke? I shattered. And no one is ever gonna rebreak them.

"People in Japan are still trying on a daily basis to be the next Kenny Omega. They're trying so hard."

Three-Count: Looking Ahead

AEW Dynamite (October 2, TNT)

Cody Rhodes vs. Sammy Guevara: Cody is one of the biggest stars in wrestling. If he doesn't beat Guevara, an athletic high-spot artist with a relatively low national profile, I'll be shocked.

The Young Bucks and Kenny Omega vs. Chris Jericho and two mystery partners: The Elite had an excellent six-man tag match at Fyter Fest against the Lucha Brothers and Laredo Kid. While the match itself will no doubt be fantastic, the air of mystery here recalls the spirit of the Monday Night Wars. Who will be in Jericho's corner? We'll have to wait and see.

Nyla Rose vs. Riho (AEW Women's Championship): The AEW executive team has high hopes for the women's division. While there has been some solid action so far, nothing has truly stood out—in part because the AEW cards have been filled with incredible matches and spectacles. Perhaps this will be the bout that makes the world take note?

[trashgoblinthynameispidge]

Yo-Yo Competition

“Come on girl you have to join!”

“But Alya I’m no good! If anything I’ll just embarrass myself rather than win a tour of the Agreste design studio from Adrien.”

“Girl your doing this and if you try not to I’m showing Adrien our text history!”

Alya was a lot of things and one of those is stubborn, you don’t question her because she was going to do it and she was going to love doing it too. So here was Marinette with a spotted yoyo in her hand as this was for some reason a part of the competition to get an internship and more importantly tour from Adrien Agreste of the Agreste design studio! It was pretty clear she was going to win at this point in the competition, the crowds eyes were on her and with every twirl of the yoyo and flick of her wrist there was many coos and even the occasional clap for certain tricks.

“Congratulation to Marinette! For her amazing skills that might be able to rival that of Ladybug herself!”

Wow Adriends voice was amazing and he he, he just said her name!!!! Oh Adrien! Oh now he's grabbing my hand and oh oh no stairs! Ok left foot right foot left right. I did and his hand is so soft!

“You know you had me fooled Marinette I honestly thought you were Ladybug where did you learn all those tricks?”

“Oh haha I guess I just am a quick learner! I was mainly using online videos for the last week Ha ha!”

“Right, you are a smart cookie”

He couldn’t shake it though, she used tricks only Ladybug used, he would know he tried to search for them. But hey he could always try and get it out of her during the tour. He was just going to have to let a little of his Chat shine through.

Chapter 2 -

She had his number! She had Adrien Agreste as a contact in her phone! Not only that but they were texting. Long since about the arrangements for the internship which for something to do with climbing up the ladder it fell on Adrien to arrange, but now it was who was there favorite Chat or Ladybug or the infamous cat v.s. dog debate. Which she was happy to note they both agreed on, that last one though was quite a lengthy argument that ended at fine our least favorite is Hawkmoth. Although that entered into a new argument where she tiptoed over mentioning kwamis the entire time. After a while talking to him felt, natural.

So when they arrived at school it was only natural they talk to each other since they were there before Alya or Nino. It just so happened that they didn’t notice the aforementioned people walk into the classroom until they were forced out of their conversation by a very angry Miss Bustier.

“Now what is so important that I can hear you talking yet you won’t respond to your names?”

“Sorry madam!” Two voices said at the same time. Yet they sent emails on their tablets through class partially to be stubborn but all just because it was fun. Marinette even sent a joke to Adrien ‘Hey being a rebel is part of the school experience’ It wasn’t much so she was surprised when he started dying in front of her, a few seconds after the read box checked on the email. It was very cute though and she may or may not have fallen for him again…

Lunch went mostly the same a bit more Alya and Nino though. Once she got home while Adrien was unable to text for a few hours due to a photoshoot and, while it hurt her a bit she destroyed the calendar with Adriene's’ schedule, updated her computer background, and brought down all the picture of him except for those that contained an interesting design or more than just him. There, she had to keep a bit more of a professional relationship with Adrien, well at least a more normal one. Besides he said he wanted to come to her house sometime a ‘trade’ for her seeing his home as a part of the tour since they were close.

“Im proud of you Marinette this is going towards something real Im sure!”

“Thanks Tikki!”

She then managed to finish her homework rather quickly and started sketching out possible designs to show Mr. Agreste for the internship as she was advised by Adrien. She was actually getting somewhere and managed to ignore the first 3 notifications from her phone until Tikki gasped as she was reading them what could be that important Tikki? Oh oh Adrien just sent her a picture and omg! It was from the photoshoot and why did it have to be spring aka a models summer, which meant swimsuits.

“Why does he have to do this to me Tikki?”

“I don’t know Marinette”

Ok you’ve got this Marinette you can respond in a normal fashion. He said ‘help I don’t know how I can look this happy in the picture I feel miserable’ ok so start ‘that sucks :( but hey’ uhh, ‘at least tell me the swimsuit is comfortable!’ alright send! And there went another evening until Tikki told her there was an akuma. Why did this always happen at the worst of times. ‘Have to go akuma, and making sure Alya doesn’t get hurt you know!’ ‘Yeah ttyl, I used that correctly right!’ That that is just adorable!

Soon enough the akuma is done with, just a small one this time. She did have to bring Alya out of the cross fire twice so she didn’t really lie to Adrien. God she wanted to just go and talk to him but first Chat. Who from just looking at him she knew he was going to be especially flirty, great..

“My lady! Is your ego intact I heard someone may have out done you at a yoyo competition?”

“Oh no Chat Noir I was in that competition that was terrible!” She fake fainted nearly knocking over Chat as she did so. “Oh my I should go get Marinette to be my new lady!”

“Now then what about my little kitten?”

“Oh then I best not, but if you two switch Im sure I wouldn’t notice the difference!”

That got a big laugh from her and and only served to prove his theory, he was going to need more solid evidence but this was progress!

“Well before you have a chance to exchange us I’m going to bounce kitty!”

When she landed on her bed she gave Tikki a few different treats as she sent a simple ‘Im back <3’ text to Adrien of course not thinking twice about that little emoticon on the end. Except that was exactly what Adrien wanted well twice over, the heart of ladybug but better to have Marinette's guard down. Then she would be more likely to just tell him that she was in fact more than a princesses but a lady.

Chapter 3-

She was awoken to the sound of a text notification it had been happening more in more as Adrien seemed to be an early bird or at least Nathalie was so she often got morning texts from him. This one was special though not the text but the morning. His text reflected this reading, you ready for the big day?!? The texts were a bit shorter as both of them were getting extra dressed up. Soon enough a limo was there to pick her up, really only because of Adrien but no one needed to know that.

Then she was there, at the Agreste office the sign so big and beautiful over her. She must have been oggling as Adrien started pulling her in.

“Isn’t it more impressive when your on the sign, you always choose that route.”

She was so preoccupied with her aw and nerves she let comment pass, this only proved his theory he mentioned that sort of thing to others no matter their state they ALWAYS commented on it. He was going to enjoy playing a game on his lady. Maybe it was a bit harsh but hey she needed a little spice in her life. Although he did feel Plagg smacking him probably, definitely in disapproval.

They went on him commenting on fabrics and using us, you, our, and me instead of the names of Paris’ heros. She started commenting back, only getting mad talking of how careful the masks must be to protect identities. The such that she always seemed to say, except she had hesitation and anger at the same time.

He regretted it, he could see it in her eyes. The pain the disbelief how much it was killing her to know who it was and that he broke the rule. He was sorry he was so so sorry now. But he knew her and she was not going to just forgive him. Yeah it was safe to say he had fucked up.

Over the next week he helped he talked to her as a friend worked overtime on patrol and left her gifts. He even mentioned it a few times mostly in notes so no one would be the wiser. She came out again, and to his surprise was rather flirty. The days turned to weeks and soon enough something blossomed.

“You know work relationships are frowned upon, my dad would be livid!”

“Well we never said it, I don’t know who my kitty is so since superheros have no boss I think this is ok.”

“Cat (Can’t) deny that my purrincess.”

“Hmph don’t give me hint kitten then we don’t have an excuse.”

Yeah he had fixed it now he just had to control the urge to kiss Marinette whenever she wasn’t in ‘uniform’.

[blurry-fics]

Slip Up: Part Two

Pairing: ex!Josh Dun x pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Angst, profanity, brief mention of sex

Word Count: 1367

Request: Originally requested by an anon, but is back by popular demand from many of you!

Author’s Note: I hope you guys like this one! Part one (which you can read here) was way more popular than expected, so I hope part two is just as good! (Also have you guys been listening to My Blood? I love it!)

Six Months Later...

Light was shining through the window on the far side of the room. You blinked your eyes and pulled the cover up over your head as memories of the day before came rushing back. Josh had gotten upset about something, you retaliated, the two of you fought, and you went to Tyler’s. It was the same endless loop that the two of you seemed to be stuck in.

You pushed the fight to the back of your mind and rolled out of bed. Your sweatshirt was still on the ground from where you had thrown it yesterday. It was one that Tyler had bought for you when your bump had just started to get too big for your normal clothes. Now it was one of the few things that still fit you.

“Good morning,” Tyler said as you walked into the living room. He was sitting on the couch eating a piece of toast.

“Morning,” you grumbled as you shuffled into the kitchen.

Tyler watched as you made yourself some cereal and poured a cup of coffee from the pot that he had made earlier that morning.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as you took a seat in the armchair.

“Great,” you smiled sarcastically.

“Have you talked to him at all since last night?”

You shook your head and took a sip of coffee, “Why should I? He was the one that started the fight.” Tyler tilted his head to the side, his mouth turning down slightly. “We have an appointment for the baby today, we’ll talk it out then.”

“What happened between you two, anyway?”

You sighed and took another bite of cereal, “I asked him if he would run to the store for me because I was having another weird pregnancy craving and he accused me of being lazy. We fought for awhile and then I started crying because of my crazy hormones and it came back to the whole debate of whose fault the pregnancy is.”

“You guys know it takes two people to get pregnant, right?”

“I know,” you snapped. “I just don’t want to let him win. Trust me, Ty, I’m getting just as tired of the arguing as you are.”

Tyler didn’t make a comment, just leaned back and took a long sip of his coffee. You had heard his opinion of your relationship with Josh countless times by now.

“I just wish things could work out between us. Things were fine before the pregnancy.”

“You also didn’t have to agree on anything other than when to have sex.”

“We made other decisions together!”

“Name two.”

“Well we decided what groceries to buy and...um…”

“Exactly my point, Y/N.”

Your phone buzzed on the chair next to you. A quick glance at the screen revealed that it was Josh texting you, meaning that it couldn’t be ignored.

“What’s that?” Tyler asked around a mouthful of toast.

“Josh,” you grumbled, picking up your phone with your free hand.

We need to talk. Will you come home?

“What does he want?”

Give me fifteen minutes.

“To talk.”

You stuffed another spoonful of cereal into your mouth.

“Are you going to?”

“It’s not like I have a choice, I have to go home eventually. Might as well go now, right?”

Tyler nodded. You carried your dishes into the kitchen and cleaned them up before running upstairs to grab your clothes. Tyler was still on the couch when you returned downstairs.

“Hey, Ty?” you said, one hand rested on the handle of the front door.

“Huh?”

“I just wanted to say thanks. For everything. It means a lot to me that someone still has my back.”

“It’s no problem,” he smiled.

You forced a quick smile in return and headed out the door. Your hands were already beginning to shake as potential conversations with Josh ran their way through your head.

“I’m home!” you called, slowly closing the front door behind you.

“Hey.”

You followed the sound of Josh’s voice to the office. He was sitting at his computer, messing with some program that you didn’t recognize. You took a seat at your desk and spun around to face him.

“Let’s just get this over with,” you huffed.

“Listen, I’m really sorry that I called you lazy. I know that being pregnant is a lot and I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

“Ok, great,” you shrugged.

Josh’s eyebrows furrowed, “Do you… accept my apology?”

“Why should I? It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Of course it means something, Y/N! Otherwise I wouldn’t have said it.”

“Does it, Josh? Because I’m pretty sure by next week we’ll be fighting again and this same sick cycle is just going to keep repeating.” Josh sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. You swallowed the lump in your throat and continued, “I’m tired of fighting with you, but at this point I don’t know how to make it stop. No matter what we try, things always end up the same.”

Josh leaned back and his chair and looked up to the ceiling. You pulled your sweatshirt sleeves down over your hands. It was something you had been doing to comfort yourself since you were little.

“What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know,” you sniffled.

The familiar tight feeling had returned to your chest. All the uncertainty surrounding your baby made your head spin. If you thought about it for too long, you usually ended up an anxiety-ridden mess. Josh was rarely of any help in those cases.

“I’m terrified, Josh.”

“Hey, now,” Josh said softly. He scooted closer so that his knees were on either side of yours. You allowed him to grab your wrists and push your sweatshirt sleeves back so that he could properly hold your hands. Finally, he gently lifted your chin up so that he could look into your eyes. “Y/N, I want you to know that whatever happens, no matter how much we fight or yell or swear that we hate one another, I’m always going to have your back. You’re not going to be alone in any of this. And I’m trying to be better about not arguing with you, I really am. There’s a lot of stuff I’m trying to work out, and I always end up taking it out on you.”

“I know, and my pregnancy hormones are no help,” you half smiled. “I just wish things would go back to how they were.”

“What, when we were hooking up?” Josh let out a breath of air. Maybe it was meant to be a laugh.

“No, um, before that.”

You could hear your breath shake as you inhaled. This was the first time that you had openly admitted still having feelings for Josh. It had become apparent to you not long after the breakup happened. All of the anger had just been you trying to convince everyone else, and yourself, that you no longer cared.

“When we were together?” he asked. The confusion on his face was evident.

“Yes.”

“So what are you saying?”

You laughed quietly and shook your head. Josh had always been oblivious to this sort of thing.

“I still love you, Josh. I miss being with you.”

“Why? All I do is upset you and cause you pain. That isn’t fair to you.”

“No relationship is perfect,” you shrugged. “Besides, we only really started fighting after the breakup. Everything before that was petty arguments.”

“All of our arguments are petty,” he smiled.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I just admitted that I’m in love with you, can we focus on that?”

“I think it’s only fair that I admit that I am also still in love with you.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. Without hesitation, you grabbed Josh’s shoulder and pulled him towards you so that you could kiss him. He let go of one of your hands and placed it on the back of your neck, pulling you closer. It felt nice to be kissing him again without the fear that this would be the last time.

“Josh,” you whispered, breaking the kiss for a moment.

“Hmm?”

“Our appointment is in ten minutes.”

“Shit.”

[pen-masta]

Let’s Play Pretend Part 6

[Prologue]  1   2  3  4  5  6  7

When they back to the dorm the light drizzle and turned into a down pour and the two giggling young adults are soaking wet. They’ve been laughing the whole run home and after slamming the door shut behind them, they both collapse on the coach together. They’re both panting as they titter in the darkness of the room. After a few minutes he’d caught his breath and he turns the lamp on bringing a warm glow to the little living room. He smiles at Joy as she pants next to him, her curls sticking to her forehead and ears as they drip from the rain. Her cheeks are pink from running and her eyes sparkle with glee as she giggles and takes a deep breath.

“Wowie Cassie,” she giggles smiling at him biting her bottom lip. “What the heck was that?”

It takes him a second before he realizes she meant their kiss. Oh right...he did that.

He clears his throat and manages to hold his smile, “Oh you know,” he shrugs. “Just had to bring it home for them is all. Make sure it was really real.”

Joy shakes her head, her eyes still shining, “They had to see us kiss to fully believe we were a couple? You got some really weirdo friends C-bear.”

He chuckles, “No argument here Jojo.”

She giggles and relaxes into the cushions of the couch, “Man Cassie I think we have some unknown talent or something.”

“What do you mean?” He shivers as he shreds his drenched bomber’s jacket.

“I mean we were incredible actors today!” She cheers and throws her fists in the air, “We were on fire we were couple of the year!”

He chuckles, “Yeah I guess we were.” He agrees not wanting to let her know how she couldn’t be more wrong.

“I say we become Youtube famous and be set for life,” Joy beams at him and sits on her knees. “Take our acting to the internet!”

“I think becoming Youtube famous takes some time Jojo,” he smiles softly.

“Ok then let’s join an improv group!” She bounces on her knees.

“We live in two different states J-bird,” he chuckles, “you know I won’t join it if you aren’t there.”

She huffs jutting out her bottom lip, “Ok fine, then I say we just drop out of college and run away together to Hollywood and become huge stars!” Her smile grows again, “That should be faster than getting likes and we’ll be together. All we need is to show our stuff to an agent and we’re set!”

He smiles very amused by her crazy ideas of get rich quick with their acting talents--of which they have none.

“Well I don’t have a car to do all that driving and I don’t know any agents,” he scratches at his beard, “but I do have shortbread cookies and hot chocolate with little marshmallows.”

Joy giggles, “That is an equally as good plan Clyde!”

“Alright Bonnie,” he chuckles and pats her knee. “I’ll get the goods.”

He stands up cracking his back as he does so. He turns on the kettle to boil some water listening to Joy strip herself of her letterman, the wet heavy fabric makes a slosh sound as it hits the floor.

He turns when he hears the door creek open before slamming shut with a long bang. He makes eye contact with a drenched Nathan. His roommate stands in the doorway dripping water on the floor. Nathan’s short hair is hanging down in his face which is red from running in the rain...or at least that’s what Castel guesses he doesn’t want to address the several emotions that are running through Nathan’s puffy eyes.

Nathan clear his throat and shifts his weight awkwardly, “Hey.”

Castel’s adam’s apple bobs in his throat, “Hey dude.”

Nathan’s eyes dart from Castel to Joy to the ground, “Hey I uh...I want to um... apologize for everything today.” He sniffles and wipes his nose on his sleeve, “Autumn was mean and pushy and...” he takes a breath and smiles at them looking up at the two for the first time. “You two make a really cute couple and I’m happy you have each other.”

Castel glances at Joy who looks like she’s going to burst into tears.

“Aww Nator Gator,” Joy starts gently.

He shakes his head, “Please don’t.” He smiles weakly, “I don’t want pity or anything like that. I truly am happy for you two. And this is for the best. Autumn never liked me.” He takes another deep breath, “Listen I’m gonna go to bed. Night.” He mumbles

“Night,” Castel nods and watches as Nathan walks into his room and shuts the door.

He sighs and looks back at the kettle. Something flicks his ear and he yelps. Holding his ear he turns to see Joy standing next to him with her face all scrunched up and her hands on her hips.

“What was that for?” He demands

“You’re just standing there like a doofus,” Joy scolds, “Go talk to him.”

“Go what?” Castel laughs, “Joy he doesn’t want to talk.”

“He’s hurting Cas,” she pouts. “You guys are really close right?”

He nods, “Yeah I think of him like another brother.”

“And if Mikey or Zack were upset and brokenhearted wouldn’t you at least attempt to talk and make them feel better?”

He blinks and shakes his head, “Yeah but...Joy...I mean he’s...ugh!” He growls and glares at her. She did have a point.

She smiles and takes his cap off his head, “You go talk to him I’m gonna go grab a shower and then we’ll have hot chocolate.”

“Fine,” he sighs, “towels are on my desk.”

“Cause that’s the logical place for them,” she snickers and puts his cap on her head before she skips to his room.

He sighs again and saunters over to Nathan’s door. Light shines out under the door and the only sound he can hear is the squeaking of the bed springs as they scream out under Nathan’s shifting weight.

He knocks, “Hey Nate. Can I come in bro?”

A faint muffled voice comes through the door, “I guess.”

Castel opens the door to see his roommates normally clean and organized room is in shambles. Clothes are thrown all over the floor, books fall from their shelves, knickknacks on the desk have been cast to the floor, and among this mess Nathan lies on his stomach on his messy bed. He was only in her for a few minutes how could it possibly look this bad!

Castel blinks and walks around the maze of objects until he manages to reach the computer chair at the desk. Gingerly he takes a seat and looks at his friend who looks as though he just miraculously walked away from a horrible car accident.

His hair is disheveled and still dripping wet, his clothes are a wrinkled mess, his eyes are red and puffy, and his nose is buried in his folded arms. Castel clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, gosh he’s never been good at this kind of stuff. He searches his brain for something to say, something to start the conversation, words of comfort, anything. His deepest desire is to tell Nathan how he had seen through Autumn’s act from the beginning...well not the the fact that she was into him and not Nathan, no that completely blindsided him. No, but he saw how Autumn treated Nathan like trash and he own toy to manipulate. He saw how mean and cruel she was, he wants to just cut into that stuck up priss. But he can’t seem to form any other words than:

“You alright?”

Nathan’s eyes dart to Castel’s face then back to the floor. Ok, that’s a no.

Castel sighs and leans his forearms against his knees.

“I’m really sorry about all of this Nate,” Castel says and chews his bottom lip. “I really had no idea about...all that.”

Nathan chuckles weakly, “I didn’t either...well maybe I did know.” He sniffles and looks back up at Castel, “Like deep down, you know? I mean after all whenever we were together some how we always ended up talking about you. I thought maybe it was cause she really cared about you and all...well she did just not in the way I thought.”

He sits up and runs his hand through his hair, causing tiny water droplets to fly as he cards his fingers through the wet mass.

“You’re better off without her,” Castel says.

Nathan shrugs, “Probably. I don’t know how I didn’t see that she liked you. She was always messing with your hair and your clothes. She always asked about you, and how you were.”

“Don’t think about all of that stuff man,” Castel’s eyebrows furrow. “That wasn’t you being blind it was her being manipulative. And they’re all the reasons to forget about her. She didn’t care about you, she just used you.”

“I know that dude!” Nathan snaps his eyes burning, “But knowing that doesn’t make this all feel ok!”

Castel blinks and sits back in the chair, he hadn’t thought about that. He was just angry that Autumn did this to his friend. He was angry that he had been right about Autumn.

Nathan takes a breath and sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“No I’m sorry,” Castel says and shakes his head. “I was just focusing on how wrong it was that she did this...I didn’t think about how you were feeling.”

Nathan smiles weakly, “Don’t worry about it bro.”

Castel sighs, “Look Nate I know this is hard no matter how you slice it.” He scratches at the hairs on his chin, “But I want you to know it’s not at all your fault. Autumn let it go too far, and for that I’m sorry...I’m also sorry I never said anything to you.”

Nathan cocks his head, “What do you mean?”

“I mean I kind of saw how awful Autumn was to you...I never said anything because I thought you were honestly happy. I didn’t wanna take that from you.”

Nathan sniffles and shrugs again, “Don’t worry about it dude, besides if you had said something I probably wouldn’t have believed you or listened.” He smiles a little.

Castel smiles kindly, “Are you gonna be alright? I mean you’re not gonna do anything crazy right?”

Nathan chuckles, “Nah I’ve already dated Autumn that was crazy enough.”

The two boys share in a laugh before comfortable silence falls between them.

“So you’re good?” Castel asks after a beat.

Nathan hesitates then nods, “Yeah I’m alright. I’m not great, but I’ll get over it.”

Castel nods, “So...we’re good?” He asks slowly.

Nathan smiles more, “Always bro.” He says and holds his fist out to Castel.

Castel smiles and fist bumps Nathan. He clears his throat, “Do you want to be alone?”

Nathan shrugs, “Yeah I think I’m just gonna go to sleep.”

Castel nods once more and stands up, “Alright, well Joy and I are having some hot chocolate I can make you a mug if you want some.”

Nathan smiles and shakes his head, “Thanks but that’s alright dude you have fun with your girl.”

Castel’s heart skips a beat when Nathan calls Joy your girl, but he manages to hide the momentary shock. There’s also a pang of guilt that rips his heart in half that the relationship that Nathan thinks is so rock steady is actually a lie. But Castel rationalize that it’s because of that fake relationship why they found out Autumn’s true feelings, so he feels like that balances it out. He smiles and stuffs his hands in his pockets and navigates his way out of the room.

“Alright well if you need anything, and I do mean anything,” Castel says and looks back at his friend. “I’m just down the hall.” He smiles, “Here for you bro.”

Nathan smiles gratefully, “Thanks Cas. That means a lot.”

==================

When the door shuts behind him he releases the breath that he didn’t even know he was holding. His heart really does ache for his friend and he really hopes this is a speedy recovery. Autumn isn’t worth spending more than a minute to be upset about.

With his hands in pockets he strolls back to the kitchen to check on the water as he listens to Joy’s caterwauling a slightly off key version of San Fransisco by The Mowgli’s. A smiles curls his lips remembering when the two of them saw the band in concert. He had bought the tickets as an early birthday gift for her. The concert was three towns over from theirs and he had decided to make a nice mini vacation out of it. They left a day before the concert and drove the four hours it took to reach the town and they stayed in a cheap motel near by.

It was a lot of fun, they dropped off their bags and went to a local diner he had read was the talk of the town. They went put-put golfing and took a walk in the park, and spent the night walking around the cute little town window shopping and buying little trinkets they didn’t really need. The concert the next night had been a blast but he really had the most fun just walking around the quaint little town with her. Watching her ‘ooo’ and ‘aahh’ at the antiques and fawn over the little kids running around in the summer heat. He also loved standing next to her in the stadium screaming the lyrics to the songs she knew and stumbling through the ones she didn’t know. He loved when she pulled him out of his seat to dance with her, he loved racing down to the pit and lifting her on his shoulder so she could flail her arms at the band. He still has the picture they took that night in his wallet.

He’d love to do something like that again with her. Maybe he should look and see if any of the bands she loves are on tour and see if any of them are within driving distance. The high pitched whistle pulls him from his thoughts and he pulls the kettle off of the heat.

He hears the bathroom door open as he pours the boiling water into the mugs of chocolate powder. He stirs the brown water swirling it until all the chunks disappear. Just as he reaches into the fridge to grab the spray whipped cream he hears the floor boards shift as she enters the room.

“All yours Cassierole.” She says.

He smiles and turns to say something to her but stops short at the sight of her. She stands on the other side of the table across from him, damp curls slowly drying, wearing a red and black checkered flannel shirt and a beaming smile as she drapes the wet towel on the back of the kitchen chair. What throws him for a loop is the shirt. The sleeves are clearly too long for her and slide down over her hands, the cut is not fit for a girl, and the shirt is obviously too big for her seeing that it’s practically a dress on her. It’s a guys flannel, no! It’s his flannel!

“This is clean right?” She asks and smooths the towel on the back of the chair.

“Huh?” He asks dumbly.

“The shirt,” she smiles. “I kind of forgot to pack my pjs and nothing I brought is going to be comfy to sleep in. I saw this on your desk and thought I could barrow it.” A slight panic races across her face, “That is ok right? I mean I can find something else if it’s not.”

He blinks and smiles, “Yeah of course it’s fine Joy. That’s actually like my last clean shirt so you picked wisely.”

Her face relaxes and she narrows her eyes at him and smiles, “You’re nasty boy! We are def doing laundry before we go home for the holiday.”

He chuckles and walks back to the mug to spray in the whipped cream, but he’s stopped again. As he walks to the other side of the kitchen he gets a better view at Joy and sees she’s wearing his shirt and...nothing else. She’s wearing his shirt, just his shirt! His heart begins to race as he forces himself to look back at the mugs and not at her bare legs.

Oh god, oh god, OH GOD! He can’t do this! Why would she not be wearing anything else!? Does she think this is part of their game!? Does she think this is funny!? That’s not fair! Holy crap, his hands are trembling. He can’t do this, he can’t do this. Ok, ok just stay calm. Be cool.

He manages to get at least one brain cell to focus on spraying the whipped cream into the mugs, and when he turns back to look at Joy she’s sitting down in the chair. His breath freezes in his chest as his eyes catch the sky blue thigh-high shorts that were hidden before, but now that she’s sitting they peak out from under the hem of the shirt.

Tension rushes out of his body like a deflated balloon. His heart rate comes down as he realizes she’s not wearing just his shirt. And soon the panic, nervousness, and adrenaline he felt a moment ago is quickly replaced with embarrassment and self-condemnation as he chastises himself.

Of course she’s wearing shorts! Why wouldn’t she be! They’re friends, there’s no reason for her to be wearing only his shirt here alone with him. He’s a pervert for even thinking like that about her. Ugh, he wants to throw up.

“You good Cassie?” She asks concerned

He nods, “Yeah I’m fine why?”

She smirks, “Well you’re just kind of standing there holding the hot chocolate with a strange look on your face.”

His cheek instantly light on fire and he coughs nervously, “Sorry just really tired I guess.”

He finds himself again and takes the seat next to Joy. He smiles as she sips her hot chocolate giving herself a whipped cream mustache which she seems to not give a single care about.

“You talk with him?” She asks worry dripping from her voice.

He nods and swirls his mug around on the table, “Yeah we talked. He’s good, we’re good.”

Her smile brightens, “Good.” She blinks and looks at the table, “Hey I thought you promised shortbread cookies Clyde.”

He blinks and shakes his head, “Oh yeah right I forgot.”

She giggles as he stands up, “You wouldn’t make a good robber Clyde you can’t even remember what you were supposed to be stealing.”

“Well they’re mine so I don’t know how I could steal them,” he smiles and crosses behind her to the cabinet.

“Either way cross robber off your list of possible jobs,” she teases.

“Yeah that and acting,” he chuckles as he opens the cabinet.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t act worth a dime,” he says and takes the box into his hands. “I mean I couldn’t even convince Autumn we were together.”

“What?” Her voice is small and confused.

Stupid! He scolds himself for not monitoring his words more carefully, god that whole ‘Joy’s wearing just my shirt’ nonsense really numbed his brain.

He hesitates before turning to look at her. She’s facing him in the chair, he hands on the back of the chair, her eyes confused and her eyebrows scrunched up not understanding what he means.

“Fall didn’t believe us?” She asks slowly

He sighs and shuts the cabinet door, well the damage is done now so...

“Yeah,” he says and sits back at the table. “She didn’t really believe we were a couple.”

“Like...the whole time?”

He nods and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah. She was really suspicious of us.”

“How do you know that?”

“She said so.”

“Where was I?” She asks

“It was when you went back in to use the bathroom, she called us out on it.”

Joy blinks and he can see she’s thinking back to the yogurt shop.

“So while I was inside she told you she didn’t believe us?”

“Yes,” he nods and fiddles with the box of cookies.

“Oh...” her eyes grow wide and her mouth falls open as she gasps. “Oh! Is that why you kissed me? To convince her?”

His cheeks are burning and he won’t look at her. “Yeah...kind of.”

“Oh...oh,” she says again but the second time there’s a shift in her tone. She sounds almost sad...is that disappointment he’s hearing? Did she think he kissed her for any other reason besides they’re little game? Why would she think that he’d just kiss her like that, they were still playing this game after all.

Unless...did she want him to kiss her? Could it be possible she’s been having the same feelings for him as he has about her? No, no he’s reading waaay to much into this.

“Is the hot chocolate good?” He asks to try and change the subject.

“Hm?” she blinks and looks up at him, “Oh yeah yeah it’s perfect.” She smiles.

He nods and looks at his watch, “Geez it’s getting really late.”

“Yeah I’m getting kind of sleepy,” she says and sips her drink.

He nods, “Well why don’t we--”

“Did it convince her?” She cuts him off and looks at him. “The kiss I mean.”

He quirks his brows before clearing his throat, “Oh yeah, yeah didn’t you see her face?” He chuckles.

She grins, “Well good then we accomplished our goal.”

“Yes we did,” he says and puts his hand on top of hers.

There’s a moment of silence before she yawns and he smiles.

“When are you leaving to go home?” He asks

“Monday is my flight back home, how about you?”

“I was gonna fly out like Wednesday or something, but I could get it to fly out Monday with you.” He says and his heart warms at the bright smile she gives him.

“I’d like that Cassie.”

He nods, “Well I’ll order the ticket tomorrow, but we don’t have any reason to get up early so we can sleep in late.”

“Good I need some uninterrupted sleep,” she says and yawns again.

He nods agreeing, “Well you can take my bed I’ll sleep on the couch.” He says downing the hot chocolate which he immediately regrets feeling the scorching liquid burn his throat.

She scrunches her eyebrows, “Uhnt-uh no way hosa, you didn’t get to sleep in your bed last night. I’ll take a turn on the couch.”

“But you slept on the couch last night,” he says as she finishes her drink.

She chews her bottom lip and fishes in the box of cookies pulling out a hand full.

“We’re at a stand still then Casanova.”

He chuckles, “It looks that way J-bird.” He takes the mugs to the sink and rinses them out.

She hums loudly as she munches on the cookies. “Well I’m supposed to be your girlfriend right?”

“Indeed,” he nods and turns to look at her.

“And we’re in college right?”

“Also true.”

An odd grin spreads on her face and he notes the light pink color her cheeks flush to. “So wouldn’t it be strange if one of us slept out on the couch instead of sharing your bed?”

He pauses for a moment before a grin of his own pulls at his lips, “I suppose so.”

Joy’s grin turns playful as she slowly stands up, “So in that case...” she glances at him before she takes off towards the bedroom with him at her heels.

The two chase each other into his bedroom giggling like little kids. When he enters the room he sees Joy sitting on her knees on his bed smiling back at him. He’s taken back at the image before him and he stops short as he watches Joy looking around his room. Why had he chased her in here? 

“Hey when did you get this?” Joy asks picking up a random dress shirt off the floor. “I’ve never seen you wear this before.”

He shrugs, “Eh Moman insisted I had to go to the spring fling last semester and she sent me that with a new vest and tie ordering me to go and have fun. Oh, and demanding I send pictures as evidence that I went.”

“Wow it’s a really nice color,” she smiles and smirks at him. “I thought I was your fashion go-to.”

He chuckles, “Well I can’t rely on only you for help with style. I mean you’re not the only woman in my life.”

She glances at his desk, “I can see that.” She says taking the Calculus III textbook off of his desk. “I see you leave all of your women out for the world to see.” She says in a mock serious tone.

He chuckles and plays along and dramatically winces, “I’d hope you’d never find out at least not like this.”

She breaks character for a moment and giggles. She turn the book so it hangs open like a calendar. She scrunches her face up and tilts her head. He chuckles and walks up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle and resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I’m disappointed,” she huffs.

“Come now you know I’ve always been a numbers man. It’s my one weakness.” He hums, “Hey now that’s a sexy integral.” He says as they stare at the double integral problem he has been working on solving a few days ago.

“She looks nothing like me,” Joy scoffs and pouts. “Should I be jealous?” She asks innocently which makes him smile.

He shakes his head, “Not at all Jo-jo not to worry.” He buries his face into her neck, “You’re the only one I need.” He says and before he can stop himself he kisses her neck lightly.

They both freeze. Her body filled with tension in his grip and they both stand there as if time itself had ceased to exist.

Alright time out! What just happened!? Ok, this is too much. Weren’t they just supposed to be playing this game? You know, pretending? Somewhere along the way something shifted and now...now this doesn’t feel fake...this feels real. Oh god, how he wants this to be real! He could say something. Maybe she feels the same way. There was always the possibility that she did, after all this was all her idea. But of course there’s also the possibility that she doesn’t feel the same as him. God that would destroy their friendship! No he can’t risk it. So he’ll do what he’s done for years...swallow his feelings and change the subject.

And he does just that.

He clears his throat and takes a step back from Joy as she closes the textbook and opts to instead play with the little curl by her ear--a nervous tick she’s had since childhood.

“Anyways, um, I think I’m gonna go shower before bed.” He says and runs his hand through his hair, the burning in his ears a huge clue that he’s blushing. She doesn’t turn to face him fully. She turns just enough to glance back at him over her shoulder.

“Alright you do you Cassie,” she says quietly and he can see her cheeks are bright red to match his.

Before he can say anything about this little fact he quickly grabs some boxers and shorts off the floor along with a towel before he darts out of the room and into the bathroom. He leans against the door and tilts his head back letting out a heavy sigh. God, what’s wrong with him!? Why can’t he just forget about all this mush and see her for who she is...his best friend and nothing more.

He looks at the mirror and blinks to see the residue of the steam from Joy’s shower. But in the steam he can see little streaks where someone has drawn on the mirror. There’s a little cat, a flower, a heart, a goofy looking face, and the words San Fransisco written on the mirror. He laughs and shakes his head, he forgot Joy likes to do that after a shower. She’s always drawing constantly, she uses anything as a canvas--and much like him, drawing on the mirror after a steamy shower is one of her many adorable quirks.

He sighs and strips down to shower. His mind won’t stop analyzing everything that happened today. From the beginning of the day to just now he can’t help but feel there was some truth in their fake relationship. At least from his side there was. He huffs and scrubs the suds out of his hair as he replays their kiss in his head. Him snatching Joy into his arms and catching her soooo off guard. The passion he dumped into the kiss and how he secretly wished it had been a kiss for real and not one because of some silly game they were playing.

As he scrubs the dirt from his chest he replays it again and this time he sees something he didn’t before. Although he did catch her by surprise she did gather herself quite quickly. And though he at the time was so focused on pouring every ounce of his being into that single kiss he did register something else. At some point in the kiss Joy had puckered her lips. She had kissed him back!

He stops and stares at the wall as the water continues to rain down on him. He was so preoccupied with Autumn and Nathan and proving that Joy was the love of his life, he missed that very tiny but enormously important fact! She hadn’t pushed him away, she had pulled closer to him. She had pushed back and kissed him, not as hard as he did her but nonetheless. She had closed her eyes! And most importantly...she had enjoyed it! The little noise she made, the dazed look in her eyes, how giggly and bubbly she became after it, the tone she had when she found out why he had kissed her. Heck, even just now when he kissed her neck how she blushed and started playing with that little curl was proof that he made her nervous! They were all signs that she hadn’t been disgusted with it, but rather she enjoyed it...maybe even hoped it would have continued?

But then that means...there’s a chance she loves him back! Wait did he just say love? Yeah he did, he does, he is in love with Joy. He has been for a long time but he’s never actually said it. And there’s a good chance she loves him back!

The smile that sits on his face is so wide it could tear his face in half, as he trips out of the shower and proceeds to clumsily pulls on his boxers, shorts, and t-shirt. It’s a chance, an encouraging chance, and that’s all he needs. He just needed some kind of clue that she felt the same way.

He rips open the door and sprints into the bedroom ready to pour out his heart and confess his love for her hoping for the absolutely best outcome. But he’s stopped short when he sees she’s laying on the bed curled up under his blanket...sound asleep.

He deflates a little as sighs. Well that’s probably for the best, what had he planned to do anyways? Sweep her into his arms and dive in for another kiss? That could have ended badly. No, no he can’t just do is going off of a hunch. No he needs solid evidence.

An idea pops into his head.

He could do a little experiment. He was a science and numbers man after all, he could collect data all day tomorrow while their together. Anything no matter how big or how small, anything that could possibly be a sign that she loves him back he’ll keep track of. And if he reaches one hundred percent he’ll know for sure and then he can confess to her how he’s been drowning in these feelings since high school. Yeah, yeah that’s what he’ll do.

He yawns and looks at the bed. Honestly that bed is way too small for even him, there’s no way they both will fit. So he turns out the lights and opts to sleep in his chair seeing there was next to no room on the floor for him to sleep. But the chair is squeaky and uncomfortable, even with his feet propped up on the desk he can’t get into a primal position to sleep. There’s a twinge of pain in his lower back that shoots up into his neck and he knows there is no way he’ll be able to sleep here.

He sighs and walks back over to the bed, seeing that Joy is laying near the edge of the bed he could just slip in behind her. Careful not to wake her, he crawls from the foot of the bed up to slide under the blanket. He pressed his back into the wall and really he’ll have to sleep on his side, with her here there is no room for tossing and turning. But he’s not complaining, after all this is much more comfortable than the old office chair. She’s basically laying right against him and he’s really not sure what to do with his arms. He opts for sticking one under his head and resting the other on his hip. As soon as he stops moving Joy decides to take a turn and flips around in her sleep to face him.

She instinctual cuddles into him, craving the warmth his body gives off. He feels her one hand grip the front of his t-shirt and nuzzles her head into his chest before she sighs contently. He smiles and decides the hell with it and wraps his arm around her--which is way more comfortable than holding stiff at his side. The scent of strawberries is strong as it emanates off of her hair and he’s finding strawberry is becoming his new favorite smell. He tightens his grip around her waist holding her close to him and doesn’t miss the tiny little quirk of her lips forming a small sleepy content smile. As his eyes drift closed he has one final thought in his mind.

Five percent.

[thetiredbiwrites]

It’s You (Liam)

One Shot Liam request from my Quotev

Liam and Hayden together, Liam starts liking Y/N so breaks up with Hayden and asks her out and she doesn’t say yes right away. Y/N and Hayden hate each other for another reason. Theresa (mum), Lynette (Step-mum), Seth and Maya (Step brother and sister), Robert (brother). Medium dark brown curly hair with blonde tips, glasses, dimples, tan, brown eyes. 10th grade and likes Liam. Is shy at first, loud, funny, sarcastic, smart, stubborn, keeps problems to self, thinks negatively 

Sorry it’s ridiculously long! I need to work on cutting down my writing. This is also my first Liam one so let me know what you think ;)

http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_609/set?id=222445576

Shifting my stack of books into my other arm and pushing my glasses back up, I unlocked my locker and threw my books in, sighing at the relief from their weight. Pushing my glasses back up, I glanced down the corridor to see Liam and Hayden wrapped around each other, tongues down each other’s throats as usual. Scrunching up my nose in disgust, I walked past them to my class. I’ve never liked their relationship because I’ve never liked Hayden. Liam deserves so much more than her. To be honest, he’s deserves better than me. I’ll give Hayden one thing, she’s prettier. But she is such a bitch, literally now that she’s a werewolf. Which is another thing that doesn’t make me good enough for Liam: he’s a werewolf and I’m a human. He should be with another werewolf that can protect themselves. I’d just become a burden. But just because Hayden’s pretty and a werewolf does not make her good for him. She has an awful personality and enjoys kicking people when they’re down. As I walked past them I didn’t notice Liam pull away from the kiss and watch me.

Liam’s POV: I pulled back from Hayden when I smelt her perfume as she passed us. Her being a perfect angel with those adorable dimples I just want to poke, and brown eyes I could look into for hours, and her curly hair that shines in the sun and is so soft I just want to always play with. Oh, and her laugh. That laugh! So contagious and beautiful. I remember the first day I got her to properly laugh. She had been so quiet and shy around me and I finally found a way in and she opened up and became my friend. But more recently I’ve felt differently. I miss her when she isn’t there, I look for her first at lunch or pack meets and if I need help with homework I’ll go to her first, and not just because she’s really smart, but because afterwards we always watch a movie, that she choices because she’s so stubborn (I secretly love that about her too but don’t let her know), and we eat junk food and laugh.

I was pulled away from my thoughts of Y/N when a low growl met my ears. I turned to the source, which was my rather angry looking girlfriend. The main thing holding me back from Y/N was Hayden. I love her too…well, loved. Or thought I did anyway. The more I fell for Y/N and spent time with her I realised I didn’t actually love Hayden. Hayden isn’t as funny or caring or beautiful as Y/N. Don’t get me wrong, she’s pretty, but Y/N is a whole other level. Hayden appeared sweet and caring at first, after she joined the supernatural. But she’s still that same girl that punched me and was petty from before.

“What the hell?! Are you looking at her, again?! Why are you so obsessed with her?! She’s a bitch. I’M your girlfriend” Hayden burst, but somehow at a reasonable level as to not attract the attention of the other students. “Maybe I don’t want you to be my girlfriend anymore” I admitted, finally sick of her attitude. “What?!” “You heard me. And she is not a bitch. You are. What the hell did she do to you anyway?” I argued back, standing my ground. She doesn’t get to push me around anymore. “seriously?! She hit me, broke my Barbie and stole my best friend!” I rose an eyebrow, questioningly. “We were 8” she clarifies. “What did you do? Specifically, what did you do first?” Even if they were 8, it doesn’t sound like Y/N to turn on someone for no reason. “Are you kidding? Nothing!” I laughed, shaking my head and looking down. “You don’t believe me. Fine. You don’t want me to be your girlfriend anymore, then I’m not. We’re done” She told me, sternly, probably hoping I’d beg her to stay. “oh, thank God. See you at the pack meet” I walked passed her, hitting her shoulder as I did so, and headed to class.

Y/N POV

Heading to my car at the end of the day, I tried to think of ways to get out of the pack meet tonight. I know Hayden hates me, but today she looked like she was going to kill me. She easily could, and if looks could kill, even if I was a cat, I’d be dead. Lunch was uncomfortable enough, I don’t want to go through a pack meet as well. Just as I made it to my car, I heard someone call my name. I turned around, coming face to face with an out of breath Liam. He leant on his knees, catching his breath, before standing straight. “I need to talk to you. Hayden and I broke up this morning.” I couldn’t hide the shock as my eyes widened, “oh, I’m… I’m sorry. What happened?” I tried to sound as sincere as possible but I wasn’t sorry at all. She was no good for him. It has nothing to do with my feelings for him, whatever they are. Ok that’s a lie, it does, a little. “Well…um…” he stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Bec-because of you” he mumbled but I caught it. “wha-what? Me?! Why me, what did I do?!” I was so confused. “You didn’t do anything. Look…I-I uh…I like you and want to go out with you and you were right about Hayden, she’s a bitch.” He rushed out and left me shocked. He likes me! That’s not possible. It can’t be. At least he knows Hayden’s a bitch. Wait. Hayden. I can’t date Liam, Hayden will kill me! She might kill me anyway, I can’t risk her throwing a bitch fit and ripping me to shreds. “I-uh-ah-I-wha-how-No.” Liam looked hurt and confused and making me feel guilty, “no? What do you mean no?” “I mean, I can’t date you. I just can’t. I’m sorry” I didn’t give him a chance to respond as I got in my car and drove away.

I silently picked up Seth and Maya, my step-siblings, from middle school and drove home. “What’s wrong with you?” “You look awful” they commented. “Nothing. I’m fine. Nothing to do with you” they stopped asking, eventually, and started conversation between themselves. I dragged myself into the house as Seth and Maya fell over each other to get to the TV first, only to find my brother Robert there first, “haha butt-heads, better luck next time!” He laughed, feet on the coffee table and eyes on the screen. They pouted and sulked into the kitchen to raid the cupboards, per usual. I sighed, throwing my bag on the chair before collapsing next to my brother and resting my head on his shoulder.

Robert and I are close siblings, always have been. He’s how I found out about the supernatural, considering he’s good friends with Scott and Stiles. Robert’s also a werewolf, bitten shortly after Scott by Peter. We’ve never kept anything from each other and he didn’t keep that from me either. He didn’t want me to become part of the pack and get involved, but it happened anyway. I couldn’t just sit back and watch as people die and my brother and friends were in the middle.

“What’s up, little sis?” he asked, kissing my head, still watching TV. “Boy trouble” I muttered, keeping it simple as I don’t want to talk about it. He paused the TV and looked at me, making me sit up as well, “boy trouble, huh? My little sister actually has natural, normal problems? Shocker. Tell me all.” He teased. “not entirely normal when said boy is a werewolf with a bitchy ex-chimera, current werewolf, raised from the dead ex-girlfriend who’d kill me the first chance she got” I muttered. “Liam?! They broke up? Why? When? How?” He questioned, with shock. Robert knew all about my growing crush on Liam before I did. “yeah, they broke up. This morning. He just said that she was a bitch and I was right about her” I decided to keep the other part to myself considering I still don’t understand it myself. Robert looked at me with an expression that said he knew that wasn’t everything, but the front door opened before he could say anything.

“Mum! Tell Seth the last cheese and onion bag is mine!” The second our Mum’s stepped through the door, Seth and Maya came racing through the house fighting over a bag of crisps. “ok, ok, ok, stop” Lynette, my step-mum, split them apart as my Mum closed the door laughing. Lynette guided them to the kitchen to settle their daily snack argument while my Mum came over to Robert and I, “this looks like a deep talk situation. What’s going on?” She asked, collapsing onto the chair, after moving my bag to the floor, and taking her shoes off. “Y/N has boy trouble. I was just about to ask her what else happened because she’s hiding something” Robert told, excluding the Liam part. “ooh, do tell Y/N. Is it Liam?” She knows?! I always thought Robert was the only one to know. Robert and Mum laughed at my shocked expression, “you’re my daughter, and you’re not that subtle. Tell us” I sighed, maybe telling them everything means they can help me. “Fine. As I told Robert, Hayden and Liam broke up this morning. After school Liam told me and then he-um…he said it was because of me.” They looked shocked but still smirked, knowing where this was going already. “He said he liked me and wanted to date me”. Mum smiled wide but Robert looked confused, “wait, you said ‘boy trouble’. How is your crush asking you out trouble? What are we missing?” “Well, because, I-uh, I said no. Then left.” Mum and Robert looked at each other and then back to me before asking, “why?” at the same time. “Because! Because he has a crazy ex who wants to kill me, and probably could, he’s a werewolf, I’m not, I’d be even more a burden than I am already, and-he doesn’t really like me. But mostly the killer crazy ex with fangs and claws who already hates me.” I admitted, looking away from them. “You think you’re a burden because you’re human?” Robert questioned and I shrugged in reply. He put an arm round my shoulders, “oh, sis. You’re not a burden. No more than Stiles. Without you humans, we would probably be dead. You humans keep us human and are usually the smart ones that figure it out and save our butts.” He kissed the side of my head as my Mum took my hand, “and you think Liam doesn’t really like you? Well he does. I can tell. He watches you when you don’t notice, the way he looks at you and smiles when you laugh-“ “how fiercely he protects you in supernatural crap” Robert interrupted. “He likes you, and it was about time he did something about it” “Besides, Hayden knows I’d rip her apart if she touched you. You’ve been here longer and you’re family to the others, Scott and Stiles wouldn’t take that crap from her either. So, tonight, after the meet, talk to Liam.” I was right, talking to them helped. I’m going to tell Liam.

We got to Scott’s house before the others, barring Stiles, and as Stiles and I got drinks and chatted, Robert had told Scott to watch Hayden as she was in an angry place and as her alpha, he has most control over her not ripping my throat out. He knows of mine and Hayden’s past rivalry so assumed it was just that again, maybe in connection with her break up, and agreed. As much as I want to move past it, Hayden knows how to hold a grudge.

Slowly everyone else joined and the meet started. I sat with Robert as far from Hayden as I could. She kept an angry glare on me the entire time and looked like smoke might start shooting out her nose and ears. It made me really uncomfortable and I slightly sunk into Robert, who’s arm was round me, and tried to focus on Scott speaking. Liam didn’t look at me at all, he still looked hurt and I just wanted the meet to end so I could talk to him. Plus, I needed to get out of Hayden’s laser eyes. Fortunately, the supernatural conversation ended quickly considering it was relatively quiet, for a change. Unfortunately, everyone decided on pizza and a movie. Whenever it’s quiet, the pack likes to just hang out and be normal teenagers. Hayden continued to angrily sulk on her spot of the sofa as everyone broke into smaller conversations while waiting for pizza to arrive. Not being able to stand her glare anymore, I excused myself from Lydia and Malia’s conversation and went to the kitchen for a drink.

Liam was still avoiding me, sticking to talking to Mason and Corey. I leaned on the counter, letting out a sigh, as I tried to figure out what I was going to do about Liam and Hayden. I needed to tell him but I don’t want to die at her hands. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, rolling my neck to work out some cricks from how I had been sitting. I didn’t notice Hayden come in until I heard her growl. Suddenly opening my eyes, I turned to her furious expression before glancing down to see claws then back up to see her eyes flash. Well shit. “Hayden-“ she growled again and jumped at me. Luckily, after 2 years, I had learnt somethings and managed to grab her arms before she clawed my eyes out but we fell backwards, her on top still trying to claw at me.  “Robert!” Within seconds Hayden was pulled away and out back by Scott, Malia, Corey, Mason and Lydia following. Stiles and Robert came over to me as Liam awkwardly stood in the doorway, unsure of where to go and what to do.

Robert sat me up, holding me from behind and holding up my arms which were covered in little scratches. Except for my right arm which had a couple larger cuts down the side. Stiles went to get the first aid kit, cleaned it up and bandaged it. Robert’s known Scott and Stiles for 10 years. Meaning I’ve known them 10 years and they’re like other brothers to me. Especially Stiles. It’s a wonder Robert and Scott haven’t killed us from all our sarcasm, puns and Star Wars references. “Are you ok?” Stiles asked with concern, before glancing at the door as a growl came from the garden. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Go help Scott” he kissed the side of my head and left. I sighed out and fell back into Robert’s arms a bit more. “Sure you’re ok?” He asked. “Yeah, Robert, I’m sure. She just, caught me by surprise. Besides, not the first werewolf scratch I’ve had. I’ll live.” He let out a laugh and helped me up, kissing my forehead. More growls came from outside and Robert’s expression changed, “I’ll kill her.” I made him look at me, “no, you won’t. You don’t do that.” He sighed, “Can’t I at hurt her just a little? Scare the crap out of her? I’ve never liked her. She’s been hurting you for years and now she can do some real damage” he admitted. “True. But you’re better than her, Robert. Don’t attack her.” He sighed and hugged me before yet more growls and a roar echoed. “I better help them, she’s really pissed if even Scott can’t calm her”. I looked away, guilty, “sorry, it’s my fault.” We slightly jumped when Liam spoke up, having forgotten he was there, “no it’s not, Y/N, it’s mine.” Robert looked at me, questioningly and I nodded that it was ok, so he went out back to help Scott.

Liam cautiously walked over to me, but still didn’t look at me. “It’s my fault Hayden’s like this, not yours. I’m sorry. I’m also sorry about after school, I shouldn’t have said anything.” I lifted his chin up to make him look at me, “don’t be. It’s not your fault, at least not entirely. I said no because of Hayden not because I don’t like you. I’m kind of scared of Hayden, I mean she was a bitch to me before but now she has claws and fangs and one hell of a temper. I also didn’t believe that you actually like me but Mum said she sees it when we’re together and so does Robert and then you looked so hurt tonight but I still don’t understand and- What I’m trying to say is that I like you too and I want to date you too and I have done for a while” I burst out quickly before looking away. This time, Liam made me look at him before crashing his lips onto mine. I hesitated but eventually kissed back. Slowly we pulled away, “I will not let Hayden touch you again. I don’t think anyone will. And of course, I like you! What’s not to like? You’re beautiful, funny, sarcastic, stubborn. You like playing video games and are incredibly smart. Honestly, I could go on all night.” He smiled at me and I smiled back before we kissed again before falling into a hug. “Does that mean you’ll be taking me on a date then?” “Oh definitely. I just want to know one thing, what the hell happened between you and Hayden? It’s none of my business but it’s driving me mad”. I laughed and looked up at him, “when we were 8 she kept pushing this one girl about and making her do things she didn’t want to and yelling at her. But claimed she was her best friend. I found the girl crying one day so I went up to Hayden, stole her Barbie, pulled its head off, which angered her. Hayden tried to hit me but I pushed her off and punched her arm. I then walked away with the girl. My Mum was called and I was grounded for like a week, but it was worth it”.

[avenger-hawk]

I think Sasuke fans who dislike Itachi do understand him but have different ideas. They see that Itachi doesn't deserve Sasuke's love. They think there're other ways at Itachi's hand to prevent the massacre e.x he could've inform Hirozin about Danzo's plan since he's still want to slove things peacfully through words and has the authority to stop Danzo. Or Itachi could've just told the Uchiha to flee Konoha immediately cuz the government found out about the coup and plan to slain them.

(part 2/3) They say the Uchiha were discuss the coup; it was a possibility not a confirmed fact yet. But Itachi did none of those. They say he /chose/ to carry out the massacre cuz he despise the Uchiha.I donno i don’t want to go into anti Itachi tag again :( sorry for bothering you.

(pro-Itachi, anti-Itachi haters under the cut)

You’re not bothering me, feel free to drop by whenever you want~

What I don’t get is why you go in the anti-Itachi tag if you disagree with them anyway…maybe it’s because you’re uncertain about this subject so you’re trying to understand both parts? if this is the case I hope you’ll find your own opinion soon, even anti-Itachi, if you come to it on your own, free from brainless arguments. If this is not the case I strongly suggest you to use xkit or tumblr savior to blacklist their posts, or to block them. It works wonders for your tumblr experience.

If this sounds kinda jaded it’s not about your ask or because of it, but because of the argument.. every once in a while a new blog comes up with *enlightening and original ideas*, or an older blog rekindles them, which lights the match of the discussion again and the arguments are always the same. The Uchiha massacre is a strong issue on which everyone has a strong opinion so disagreeing is expected. I’ve been dealing with this sort of bullshit arguments since forever, so you’ll understand if I won’t go into this in detail again because I already covered this subject many times (here I posted a compilation of what has been said in the manga, also here, here and here and this is Itachi’s defense tag).

Who wrote that crap is probably a functional illiterate, lacking critical thinking and basic reasoning, not to mention not having read the manga well, thus deeming appropriate to become some fictional sjw police officer to show how smart and analytical they are. Am I too critical towards them? Maybe they really support Sasuke and defend him? Probably. But this doesn’t justify the bullshit arguments. 

-They weren’t just discussing the coup, it was a plan they’d execute soon. In the Itachi Shinden anime it’s better specified how they were ready to strike. In the manga it’s more indirect. It’s said that diplomacy had failed, that Shisui tried and failed too, so Itachi felt like he had no other choice. You need some willing suspension of disbelief here, but also not because Danzo taking Shisui’s eye instead of letting him deal with the clan using it, it’s enough of a proof of his malicious intent and no one doing anything about it it’s enough of a proof of how Itachi was alone. It’s all in the panels, indirectly but it’s there. Now, if someone instead sees the coup only being discussed and all that crap, it’s their problem.

-He could have informed Hiruzen of what? Hiruzen knew about Danzo’s plan! Itachi goes to him before leaving Konoha, to plead to protect SAsuke. Let me repeat this again: The massacre was ordered by Danzo and Hiruzen knew his intention and didn’t stop him. Hiruzen is as guilty as Danzo, even more since he was supposed to protect the whole village, Uchiha included, Itachi included. When he let Danzo carry on with his plan he got his hands dirtier than Danzo and Itachi. So fuck this, really.

-Itachi thought that the Uchiha carrying on the coup would make the village unstable thus easily invaded by enemy countries since at that time coutrnies were all enemies. There is no proof of this, but it’s what Obito says. If they clan were to flee they would have become enemies to the village anyway, they would be weaker against enemies anyway, Sasuke would have had an unstable life and so on. Itachi is said to have gained Hokage-like wisdom and knowledge since he was a child. It’s logical to assume that he knew history and politics going on back then, so he knew exactly what was happening around them and what would have happened in case of a coup.

-Itachi didn’t deserve Sasuke’s love, he was too cruel to him, blah blah blah. I’m so sick and tired of hearing this…it’s subjective how to feel about this.

He acted cruelly, yes, he traumatized Sasuke, he retraumatized him, yes. 

Is it objectively and ethically wrong? Yes. 

Did he have a reason to do so? Agree or not, yes. He had to make Sasuke who adored him, see him as a monster, acting cruelly was the only way. At the inn he tried to ignore him but Sasuke insisted, and since he couldn’t risk to let Sasuke have the least doubt (or Danzo would have targeted him), he “tested his hate” and fueled it, to make sure he would eventually fight him.  

Is it important to the plot? FUCK YES. Not only it’s an extremely intense and fascinating scene, that fleshed out their personalities and developed their relationship, it also allowed the plot to advance, by pushing Sasuke to seek Orochimaru thus become stronger to defeat him, then to kill Orochimaru and form Team Taka, then to kill Itachi with a stronger resolve, as that moment is the one he recalls more often. All the while Naruto trained with Jiraiya while  S*kura with Tsunade, both motivated by bringing Sasuke back. Would this have happened without Itachi’s cruelty? Maybe, or maybe not. Certainly it wouldn’t have such impact. 

Focusing on the single act/event is so pointless to me, because they’re all parts of a bigger scheme. If some were to change, even for the better, other important consequences wouldn’t happen. So discussing about how unjust the massacre is ok, I always say so myself (BUT I BLAME THE REAL CULPRITS) but making it a crusade against Itachi becomes ridiculous, a proof of lack of “willing suspension of disbelief”, of poor understanding of narrative mechanisms (for which evil characters and actions are a mean to make the others shine brighter so Danzo is useful too in this optic) and what’s worse, of the plot itself. 

In case it’s not clear, the massacre is a damn plot device as well, it’s Sasuke’s and Itachi’s damn backstory, it’s what makes them the amazing characters they are, so while discussing what-ifs and alternative AUs is cool, these alternatives all are possible because the massacre happened, otherwise the Uchiha clan would be one of the many Konoha clans and Sasuke and Itachi would be like, say, a cooler version of Hinata and Neji, with angst and a backstory of injustice never solved, because knowing kishimoto and how he bunches every konoha ally into a big blurred group, he’d never focus on them as well as he did with the massacre. 

Deserve it or not, Itachi has Sasuke’s love. Deserve it or not, he has SAsuke’s forgiveness and complete understanding of the situation he was put it. This, to me, counts more than anything. Sasuke, unlike most, understood that Itachi was 13, that he had lost his only friend who could have helped him, that he was scared to death about Sasuke being in danger, that he thought that despite the village’s flaws, it still was a better and safer environment than anything else for his little brother, and that he made sure that the village would keep Sasuke safe by threatening Danzo.

Someone will always disagree with this, and I find useless to discuss with them. They have their opinion, as long as they stay in the anti-tag only it’s fine, I have my own opinion anyway. Which is well thought and not influenced by trends or groups or mob ethics for dummies. Btw my opinion also includes wishing that these opinionated antis got their heads out of their asses every once in a while and realize that this is fictional and fiction is not real and it doesn’t have to be, that if they care about ethics and politics and they want to protest against genocides and oppression, in real life there is a shit-ton of those, and their help is much more needed on these.

[fandammit]

Rome is built on ruins

[A/N: I had to do some major course correcting after that lovely @metastation interview with Sachin with regards to Jackson and Clarke’s relationship. Based on their show interactions, I’d initially written them as being somewhat distant. However, he actually said they’d be like siblings...so then I tried to reconcile those two things in this fic. The pilot script says he’s 27, which is where I got the 10 year age gap.]

On Ao3

Rome is built on ruins  And is quite breathtaking; What makes you think  You can’t be too? (x)

There are only three people who clap when his name is called at graduation, which is actually two more than he expects. He’s seventeen and graduating high school a year ahead of all his peers, and an adolescence first filled with caretaking and silence, then with a feverish sort of focus on his medical training has left him with only distant acquaintances.  

He doesn’t mind it, though. Mostly he’s excited to finally begin his full medical internship, away from the daily grind of classes he doesn’t care for and people he barely talks to.

He looks out into the small crowd and sees Abby beaming at him, which is no surprise at all. He thinks she’s been more excited for his graduation than he’s been. There’s a soft thump in his chest, though, when he sees Jake at her side, his face shining with pride. Standing on her tip toes in front of her dad is Clarke, who at barely seven years old should probably be at school right now.

She catches his eye and waves at him, a goofy flap of her hands that only children seem to be able to do. He waves back, awkward and fumbling. He likes Clarke, though he thinks maybe they’re less close than they should be for the amount of time he’s spent with the Griffin family.

He knows that must be his fault. He finds he’s best with children whose childhoods are defined by sadness, those who have had to take on loneliness as a way of life. Clarke is bright and warm and loves as fiercely as her mother does; hands out her love freely in the way that only children who have only known stability can.

Sometimes, this makes her feel unknowable to him.

Part of him wonders, too, if he’s spent so long hoarding his love, then doling it all out in bulk, that he now no longers knows how to give it out in portions without it all being used up.

A loud whoop sounds from the back corner, interrupting his long walk to the stage, and he looks over just in time to see Jake Griffin cup his hands around his mouth.

“Alright, Jackson!” Jake shouts out, a huge grin on his face. Clarke puts her fingers in her mouth and whistles loudly, while Abby raises her hands above her head and claps wildly.

He supposes he could find it embarrassing, but really he’s just glad. It makes him feel like he belongs.

He says as much later that night, after his celebratory dinner at the Griffin’s. Jake is off putting Clarke to bed while he and Abby clear up the dishes.

“I’m sorry about all the noise at your graduation. I know you hate that kind of attention.” She puts down her dish and turns to him, her smile bright with pride and affection. “But we’re just so proud of you, Jackson.”

He shrugs and looks down for a moment.

“It’s fine, Abby.” He meets her eye and offers her a small smile. When she still looks hesitant, he makes sure to take care and convince her. “I liked it, actually. It was like having a family there.”

“Jackson,” Abby says, her tone firm, expression forbidding any sort of argument. “You did have a family there. Clarke adores you and - .”

She stops at the skeptical look on Jackson’s face.

“Do you honestly think she doesn’t?”

He scrubs his hand across the back of his neck.

“We just aren’t very much alike, is all.”

The furrow between Abby’s brow deepens, her mouth pursing to the side.

“What makes you say that?”

He bites his lip and leans back against the kitchen sink.

“I never really know how to talk to her. I - she’s not like me. She’s fun and happy. She’s not - she’s not bro- .” He stops abruptly at the expression of distress on Abby’s face. “We’re just different, is all,” he finishes up instead.

Abby reaches forward and wraps her hand around his.

“Jackson, you know you aren’t broken, right?”

He opens his mouth, then shuts it again. Finds that he can’t meet Abby’s eyes.

He’s never lied to her. He doesn’t want to start now.

“Jackson?”

He finally raises his eyes to meet hers, feels an embarrassing burning sensation pricking at his eyelids that he tries to fight.

“I think I might be.” He let out a harsh breath, then shakes his head. Gives her a grin that he hopes is wry, but thinks is closer to the line of tremulous. “Sometimes, you know?”

He wants to say more. He wants to explain that sometimes he looks as his peers and doesn’t quite see friends and acquaintances or even people; instead, finds himself cataloguing all the health risks and possible diagnoses. That he walks into a room sometimes and can’t help but think through every scenario that might go wrong and all the ways he’d work to fix it. That he stays up nights memorizing list after list of symptoms and warning signs, just so he can never be caught unaware and unprepared.

But he can’t. Finds that his throat has closed up, that his chest is caving in, that his face has gone numb. So he dips his head down and stares at his shoes instead, begins a mental inventory on what his diagnosis might be.

He feels Abby’s soft hand underneath his chin, tipping his head up to meet her gaze.

“Here’s what I know,” she says, her voice soft, the tone unyielding. “You are the best medical apprentice I’ve ever seen, and will probably end up being the best doctor the Ark has ever had.” He’s about to protest - there’s absolutely no way he’ll ever be better than her - but presses his lips together again at the look in Abby’s eyes. “And it has nothing to do with how smart you are - even though you are completely brilliant.” She stares at him intently. “It’s because you care so much about every single person you treat. And it doesn’t matter who they are, or what you know about them, or even how they’re treating you. You care about everyone just the same, and you work so hard to make sure that they’re taken care of.”

She cups his face in her hand, the movement warm and kind and so reminiscent of his mother that his vision blurs.

“I don’t think you’re broken, Jackson.” She rubs her thumb across his cheek. “I think you’ve been hurt, and I think you’re still healing. But you aren’t broken.” She tips her head down and makes sure to catch his eye. “Believe me, ok?”

He swallows thickly, then manages a small smile.

“Are you telling me as my doctor?”

She gives him a smile in return.

“I’m telling you as your friend.”

He wants to frown at the words - at the way they don’t quite encompass all that Abby means to him. Because, yes, Abby is his doctor and his friend - but she’s also his mentor and role model, his surrogate mother and savior all in one.

He wants to tell her this, but finds that the words stick in his throat. So instead he moves forward and wraps her in a tentative hug that she immediately returns. He sighs, the gesture tremulous and raw. He doesn’t know if he believes what she’s said, but it’s comforting to know that she believes it.

Maybe that can be good enough, for now.

“I love you, Jackson.” She squeezes him tightly before stepping back to look at him. “This whole family does.”

She stares at him, willing him to believe. Daring him to contradict it.

He doesn’t; finds, miraculously, that he believes it.

It’s a month after graduation and he’s packing up the last of his syringes after a morning of elementary school immunizations when he feels a gentle tap on his shoulder.

“Jackson?”

He turns around and sees Mrs. Howell standing behind him, a look of relief etched across her face. She’s holding hands with Clarke, whose face is drawn and flushed in a way that makes him frown.

“Is everything ok?”

Clarke bursts into tears.

He takes a large step forward and drops to his knees, alarmed, looking Clarke over. She lets go of Mrs. Howell’s hand immediately and slumps against him, sniffling into his shoulder. He hesitates for a moment - he’s not an especially affectionate person - before he realizes just what it is she needs from him and rests his hand on her back. He gives her a reassuring rub across her shoulders before he looks up at Mrs. Howell.

“She hasn’t been feeling well all morning,” she explains, resting her hand on Clarke’s head. “I was going to send her to medbay at lunch, but she ended up throwing up at her desk during second period.”

Clarke starts crying again in earnest at the words and he feels a great wave of pity towards her. She doesn’t cry often, but when she does, she seems to throw her all into it.

“It’s ok, Clarke,” he soothes, rubbing her back the way he’s seen Jake do sometimes. “It’s alright.”

She whimpers into his neck.

“I thought I'd be ok until lunch.” She hiccups, her voice quavering. “And now everyone’s going to make fun of me.” She lifts her head up to look at him, her big blue eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t mean to throw up, Jackson. I really didn’t.”

“I know, Clarke. I know.” He brushes a sweaty lock of hair back from her face and wipes her tears away with the back of his hand. He cups her face the way that Abby sometimes will and it seems to calm her down. “But you’ll be ok. I’ll call your mom to take you home and Mrs. Howell will make sure that no one makes fun of you, ok?”

He glances up at Mrs. Howell as he says this and waits for her answering nod before looking back down at Clarke.

“Can’t you just take me home, Jackson?” She pleads. “What if it takes mom forever to get here?”

“I don’t think - .” He begins, at the same time that Mrs. Howell says, “Of course he can, sweetie.”  

He looks up at Mrs. Howell and tilts his head, a questioning look in his eyes. Of course she knows that he’s close to the Griffins, but there are still protocols about this sort of thing.

Mrs. Howell smiles down at him in reply.  

“The Griffins have you down on the emergency card, Jackson. You’re fine to check her out and take her home.”

He blinks rapidly, surprised and oddly emotional, before clearing his throat and nodding.

“Ok, Clarke, let’s get you home.” He smooths the hair back from her face, then drops his hands and stands up.

She immediately reaches out and grabs his hand, wraps it in both of hers.

He leans over and grabs her backpack, shoulders it along with his own messenger bag. He’s about to start walking towards the exit of the school when he feels her tug on his hand, turns around to see her sway wildly in place.

He frowns, then bends down to look her in the eye. Her gaze is unfocused and glassy in turns. He hesitates for a moment, then lays a hand on her shoulder.

“Clarke - is it. Would it be easier if I carried you?”

She doesn’t say anything, just nods, relief evident in her small features.

He crouches down low enough for her to loop her arms around his neck, then scoops her up in his arms as he straightens back up.

He’s a few inches shorter than Jake and nowhere near as broad, but Clarke either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care and just wraps her arms tighter around his neck. She drops her head against his shoulder and he’s suddenly alarmed by the fact that he can feel the heat radiating off her skin.

He turns towards Mrs. Howell and nods, then readjusts his arms to make sure he has a steady grip on Clarke before he walks slowly out of the school hall.

She shivers against him, somehow freezing despite the warmth of her skin. She tightens her legs around his torso as he shifts her in his arms and rubs her back gently.

“Does anything hurt, Clarke?”

She nods against him.

“Everything hurts,” she says quietly, rubbing her face into his shoulder.

He sighs and rests his cheek against her forehead, estimates that her temperature must be at least 102 and speeds up his pace.  

He arrives at the Griffin home a short five minutes later and somehow manages to balance Clarke, two bags and punch in the unlock keycode without dropping anything or anyone.

He shuffles awkwardly into the living area, depositing the bags onto the chair at the far end and managing to get a thermometer out of his medkit before walking over to Clarke’s room. He sets her down gently on her bed and crouches down in front of her.

She turns her ear towards him so that he can take her temperature. The thermometer beeps a few moments later.

He looks down at the screen and grimaces.

102.7

“I want you to change into pajamas and get into bed while I call your mom and let her know what’s going on, ok?”

Clarke twists her fingers together.

“Are you going to stay out in the living room?”

He nods.

“Can I lay down out there on the couch?”

“I - uh - sure.”

Clarke looks relieved, then nods and gets up gingerly from the bed. He turns and closes the door behind him, then walks to the front room to phone Abby.

She picks up on the first ring.

“Mrs. Howell let me know about Clarke,” she says without preamble. “Is everything alright?”

“She has the flu,” he replies as he rifles through the medicine cabinet at the far end of the living room.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I got about four cases here, too.” He hears someone speaking in low tones to her in the background. “Are you ok with Clarke, or do you want me to send Jake over?”

He hears Clarke’s door open and watches as she walks out of her room and curls up into the worn cushions of the sectional in the living room. She catches his eye from across the room and smiles at him. It’s open and guileless and completely full of affection. It’s also a little bit hazy and glassy eyed, which, oddly, puts him at ease.

He may not be quite sure how to act around Clarke sometimes, but he’s completely at ease and at his best when he’s taking care of someone who’s sick.

“I’ll be fine, Abby. I’m going to give her some oseltamivir and heat up some soup for her.” He pulls the medicine from the cabinet and walks over to the kitchen. “I can stay and take care of her until Jake gets here.”

He hears a voice in the background again, more urgent this time.

“Go on, Abby. We’ll be fine.”

She sighs with relief.

“Thanks, Jackson.”

He hangs up the phone and walks back over to Clarke with the antiviral and a glass of water. She takes both from him without complaint, swallowing down the medicine and the entire glass of water before settling back into the L shape where the sofa meets the chaise lounge. He waits until she’s curled up into the couch cushions before he shakes out a blanket from the pile in the corner and drapes it over her.

She tugs the blanket up to her chin and sighs.

“This is my favorite blanket.”

“Yeah, I - I know.” The last sound of the word lilts up in surprise. Because he actually had known it was her favorite, even though he’d grabbed it almost without thinking. It’s an old fleece blanket, worn around the edges with a ridiculous and loud pattern of orange and purple. He can recall at least a dozen times when Clarke had fallen asleep on the couch out here wrapped up in it as he had studied at the kitchen table.

She smiles sleepily up at him, and he can’t help but reach down and smooth back the hair from her face.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, ok? I’m going to make you some soup.” He holds up his hand to keep her from saying anything. “You need to eat the whole bowl and drink a glass of water before you fall asleep. You’ll feel better when you wake up if you do.” She pouts, so he relents a bit. “Plus, I’ll put in extra mushrooms for you. I know they’re your favorite.”

She looks up at him, considering, before she nods.

“Don’t forget the extra carrots, too. We just got more yesterday.”

“Why carrots?” He asks, because he can’t recall her ever being particularly fond of them.

She tilts her head at him, her brows furrowed.

“Because they’re your favorite,” she points out, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

He smiles, then turns towards the kitchen. As he gathers up all the necessary items, he thinks of all the things he’s unceremoniously, unknowingly learned about Clarke Griffin: her favorite book (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), her favorite animal (a manatee), her favorite color (the orange in a sunset). As he chops the vegetables and heats the water, he lists off the names of her stuffed animals (Geoffry, the one-eyed dog; Buster, the fraying rabbit; Donatello, the raggedy turtle). As he stirs the soup and watches it simmer, he finds himself thinking of every drawing she’s ever give him, ever science quiz she’s proudly shown him, every project she’s asked for his help in.

The oven beeps loudly, abruptly pulling him from his train of thought.

He shuts off the stove and ladles soup into two mismatched bowls. Walks slowly over to her and waits for her to sit up before setting a bowl of soup into her lap.

She tilts her head down at the soup, then plucks the spoon from her bowl and switches it with the one in his.

He stares at her.

“What - what was that for?”

She gestures to the spoon she switched into his bowl.

“I can’t use that spoon because it’s yours, Jackson,” she says, a disbelieving tone to her voice that conveys her confusion at having to state something she so clearly thinks is obvious.  

He looks down at the spoon that back up at her. Whatever it is, it is definitely not obvious to him.  

“What do you mean?”

She squints at his bowl then looks at him.

“That’s the spoon you always use when you come over.”

He holds the spoon up between them and huffs a small laugh. She’s right. The spoon has a twisted, extra-long handle that ends with a metal whorl, which makes it ideal for stirring sugar into the cup of tea he always has when he’s here.

“So it is.” He smiles at her, then holds the spoon out. “But that doesn’t make it mine, Clarke. You can use it.”

She shakes her head, pushing his hand away from her.

“I’ve always called it the Jackson spoon,” she says, so serious that he almost wants to laugh.

“Always, huh?” He scoots back onto the couch and looks down at her, a ghost of a grin on his lips. “What about before I started coming over here?”

She shrugs.

“I don’t really remember anything from before you started coming over here,” she says before slurping up her first bit of soup.

He looks down at her, pensive, turning her words over in his mind; is suddenly, acutely aware of just how intertwined their lives are. How intertwined they’ve always been.

He thinks back to his conversation with Abby, back to his assertion and his fear about the gulf between him and Clarke. Wonders how much of it he’d created out of worry and thoughts of rejection.

As he looks at the spoon in his hands, the blanket around Clarke’s shoulders, the soup that fills both their bowls he thinks -

Perhaps they are different. And perhaps he is broken in a way that (he hopes) she’ll never be.

But what is also true is this: Clarke doesn’t care about either of those things. Just like her mother, she loves him anyway, fits him into her life despite it all.

He will never again have his father to tuck him in at night, or his mother to sweep his hair back and tell him she’s proud.

But he can still share soup with a seven year old who knows his favorite spoon and doesn’t remember a world without him. He can still find hope in the affection in Abby’s eyes, the pride in Jake’s smile.

He feels Clarke settle against him; finds himself feeling content and warm and loved.

Finds, even, that he thinks he might deserve it.

[imagine-loki]

Met With A Zap, Chapter 18

TITLE: Met With A Zap CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 18 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Darcy and Loki meeting for the first time. They instantly dislike each other and are constantly at one another’s throats in arguments. Darcy even ends up using her taser on him at one point. Others around them get fed up of being stuck in the middle of their pranks and arguments. But eventually, Loki finds himself falling for her sassy mouth. RATING: M 

‘You have to take me to Asgard!’ I shouted at Thor.

‘I cannot, Darcy. My father doesn’t like Midgardians there.’ Thor told me.

‘Bullshit. You took Jane there last year. Come on, I need to help Loki. This isn’t his fault. Someone needs to be there for him.’ My voice was getting higher and higher as I argued with him.

‘I shall go and tell everyone the truth of what happened. You are best to stay here.’

‘NO! Thor, I swear to god you better take me with you. If you don’t, I will personally make your life a living hell.’ I argued and crossed my arms over my chest.

I was not giving in with this. I needed to go and try to reason with Odin. I had to see Loki again too. No one else would support him and believe him like I do. I was the only one that had seen the vulnerable side of him. As I highly doubted that he would show Thor or his father that side.

‘Darcy, it is against my father’s rules to take you. I can’t even take Jane back.’ Thor said calmly. But I was not calming down.

‘I don’t give a shit if it’s against his rules or not. Please, Thor. I love Loki. And I know he loves me too. Let me come with you, please. I know you don’t want him to go down a bad road again of destruction or worse. If I’m there, I can help keep him calm. Even if he is in prison. Please.’ I begged him.

Thor put his face into his hand for a moment and he sighed.

‘Fine.’ He finally gave in.

‘YES!’ I said triumphantly as I ran to my room to pack a small bag.

‘You’re actually going to Asgard?’ Clint asked as he leaned against the door frame in my room.

‘Yes. I need to help Loki. He needs me.’ I said as I continued to throw some clothes into a bag.

‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad. I wasn’t sure of him when he first arrived. But he has proven useful of late. I know Thor think’s highly of him and you do as well now. I have to admit, you are a good couple. You’re good together. I hope for his sake, and yours, that you can both sort things out with the gods and get him back here.’

I was a little surprised with Clint’s honesty. But it was nice to hear. And I would make sure that I told Odin and Loki too. So he knew that he had support from The Avengers too. Hopefully it would also help if Odin knew.

‘Thanks. It means a lot and I’m sure it will to Loki too.’ I said as I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

‘Well, I’m off to the land of the gods. Wish me luck.’

‘Good luck. Just don’t piss any of them off and you’ll be fine.’ He chuckled.

‘I’ll do my best.’ I shrugged.

I went back to find Thor. Jane was coming with us as well, which I was glad of. I didn’t want to be the only human there. And I knew she would love to see Asgard again, especially Thor’s mother. She spoke highly of her and said she is a lovely woman. I just hoped that she would be on Loki’s side at least.

‘So, is the journey quick or…?’ I asked as we made our way outside, the rest followed us.

‘Very quick.’ Jane nodded.

‘Cool.’

Thor put an arm around both Jane and I. Then once we said goodbye to the others, he looked up to the sky and called on Heimdall. I was about to say something when suddenly there was no ground beneath us and there was a rush of colours. I could hear nothing but a high pitched sound as I felt like my insides were being thrown around everywhere.

Then as quick as it started, we were there. We landed in a huge gold dome thing. There was a really huge guy in the middle with a large sword. He smiled at the three of us and welcomed me to Asgard. He welcomed Jane and Thor back.

At least he was polite. That was a good sign.

I just hoped the other gods would be similar. But I had a feeling that Odin would be a completely different kettle of fish. I was dreading meeting him for the first time, from what I had heard from Loki anyway. Thor saw him differently, though he did still have his stories that made him out to not be so great.

‘Holy shit!’ I said as we stepped onto a huge rainbow bridge. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It was so colorful and it was shining and humming. It was incredible.

‘I knew you would like this.’ Jane grinned as she grabbed my hand to keep me moving, as I was so engrossed with the bridge below my feet.

The whole city of Asgard was incredible. It was like something from a fantasy land. It was all gold and so grand looking. Especially the palace. I started to feel a little daunted as Thor led us through the place. It was huge. I was going to get lost in it, that was for sure.

And I was starting to doubt whether my plan of coming here was a good one. Would Odin even agree to see me? Would he listen to my argument? Had he already announced a punishment for Loki? What if we were too late? There was so many doubts running through my mind that I never even noticed the beautiful woman approach us.

‘Mother, this is Darcy.’ Thor said and that snapped me from my worries.

That was his mother, Frigga. She was even more beautiful than I had heard.

‘Wow. Uhm, hello.’ I said awkwardly as I tried to curtsy the best I could.

She laughed lightly and put her hand onto my shoulder.

‘Relax, dear. It is nice to meet you. Loki told me all about you.’ She smiled warmly.

‘He did? Really?’ I asked, shocked.

‘Yes. He is very fond of you.’ She smiled yet her eyes looked sad.

‘Is he ok? Where is he?’ I asked.

‘He is ok. Though my husband has sent him to the prison down in the dungeons. He is having a trial tomorrow, to see what his fate may be. Loki explained to us all that happened, but Odin still feels that it is his fault for all the destruction.’ Frigga explained.

‘But it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t in control of himself. I know he did things in the past, like the destroyer and all that happened with that Jotumhand place. But New York wasn’t his fault.’ I argued.

‘You mean Jotunheim.’ Thor corrected.

‘Yeah, whatever. That was maybe his fault. But he has paid for all that. He was tortured by Thanos. He didn’t know what he was doing. It wasn’t him. I’ve seen him so down and broken, he truly regrets what has happened.’

‘I know. But it is not me that you need to persuade.’ Frigga said as she gave me a small smile and turned to leave us.

‘Take me to Odin.’ I said to Thor.

Thor looked uneasy but nodded.

‘Jane, you wait in my chambers.’ He said as he had a guard lead Jane there.

Then Thor took me to see Odin. Half of me was feeling determined, the other was terrified. He was the King of Asgard after all. But I had to at least try.

Odin was outside on a balcony, it looked over the entire city. It was some view.

When Odin turned around, I was a little shocked. I expected him to be bigger and more like Thor. But he was a little shorter and fatter than I imagined. Maybe it was a bit of a beer belly he had going on. Reminded me of my dad.

‘Who is this?’ Odin asked.

He didn’t even ask how his son was. How rude?

‘This is Darcy. She is a friend of mine and Jane’s… Loki’s lover.’ Thor said cautiously.

Odin’s eye widened as he looked at me.

‘You are the one that has stolen Loki’s cold heart.’ He said as he walked a little closer to me.

‘He does not have a cold heart.’ I blurted out. I don’t know where my confidence came from, but I didn’t like the way he was speaking of Loki.

‘Oh really? He not only sent the destroyer to your town to try and kill his brother, but he also had an army of aliens nearly destroy one of your cities. He wanted to take over the world.’ Odin said loudly to me.

‘He wasn’t in control. He was tortured, badly. He had no recollection of what went on that year. He was not in control of himself or his mind. It was not his fault, and you are going to let him be punished for something that was not his fault? Some father you are!’ I argued.

‘I am not his father. He is adopted.’ Odin said.

‘Then perhaps you should have thought about it more before you took him on as your own. You clearly did not and do not love him as much as Thor. It’s no wonder he went a bit off the rails!’ I hissed at him.

‘Enough of this. I do not have time to argue with a mortal like you. Thor, take her back to Midgard.’

‘I am not going anywhere without Loki.’ I snarled at him and crossed my arms over.

He turned to look at me and he looked at Thor, who just shrugged. Odin looked back at me and shook his head with a sigh.

‘Then you shall be here for a very long time.’ He said as he walked inside.

I turned to Thor and he looked at me with surprise all over his face.

‘He’s an asshole!’ I told him.

‘Careful of your words, Darcy. He is my father, the King of Asgard and protector of all the realms.’ Thor growled at me.

‘I don’t give a shit if he is the god of the entire universe or a fucking monkey’s uncle. He is mean and cruel towards Loki. I see now what Loki meant about all those years where he favored you and not him. No wonder Loki went off the rails. How can you not see that? He doesn’t seem to care about the truth. Loki did wrong in his eyes and even though it wasn’t his fault, Odin doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to care.’ I shouted at Thor.

‘Odin has never been spoken to like that by a Midgardian.’ A voice came from behind me.

I turned around was startled to see Frigga come out onto the balcony to join us. She had heard what I said to Thor as well.

‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean any disrespect to you. But from what Loki has told me, and from what I just witnessed myself, he really has some parenting issues.’ I said as I crossed my arms over and looked down to the ground.

‘I know you love Loki. It is nice to see that someone finally loves him so much and sticks by him. Even to argue with the Alfather. I get the feeling he would be proud of you.’ Frigga smirked and I smiled at her.

I liked Frigga. She was cool.

‘I just. I hate the thought of Loki being punished for something he had no control over. It’s so not fair.’

‘I know, child. I know. If you stand up in court tomorrow and tell them what you know and how you see Loki, it might help. Loki needs you now. I am so glad that Thor brought you here.’ Frigga said as she pulled me into an embrace.

‘If anyone can help Loki, it is you.’ She told me.