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#also my body is just not keeping down food
homey-worshiper · 2 days
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low energy devotion acts for lady hestia
{something i do when i either feel very bad or just don't have much energy}
sometimes veiling takes a tool on me, being judged and whispered about when im in public, so in times when it's really hard i just get my hair in a bun, out of my face
slow down when eating, i have a habbit of forgetting to eat and when i actually eat i do it in seconds, but when i catch myself i try to simply slow down, give thanks to lady hestia
have a pinterest boars dedicated to decor you want to have, want to make
and also a pinterest boards dedicated to food you like or want to make, cozy hobbies you want to try, maybe crafts that you already know how to make, i feel so connected to lady hestia every time i find a new craft i can make {and use as decor later}
journaling, even if i just write one sentence in a week, maybe i don't write at all i just open my journal and take in the energy i already put in it
i feel like lady hestia likes when you write for her, no matter what it is, poetry, short stories, journals, prayer, tumblr post, everything
setting my phone aside and not looking at the time, slowing down, taking as much time as i need, letting my body clock decide when to pick up work and when to do have cozy time
nap, sleep, staying in bed for those additional 5 minutes
treating drinking my morning coffee as a ritual, even if im doing something while drinking, it's like every sip of my hit beverage is a step in the ritual
wearing jewellery that reminds me of her, i try to keep the ring dedicated to her on the altar so everything i need to pick it up ismts full of her gentle energy
letting myself be bored and not do anything, instead of stressing what to do next just to do something
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satureja13 · 19 hours
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While Vlad and Ji Ho and Sai and Jeb enjoy their couple time together, good mates Jack and Kiyoshi are having a picknick. Even though they are supposed to meet for dinner soon. Jack is always hungry. And Kiyoshi wonders why they are not having pizza again, Jack's favourite.
Kiyoshi doesn't realize he's walking on the water again. Or he forgot they are back in the Muggle World and he shouldn't reveal his divine nature here... Let's just hope no one notices him ö.Ö'
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And while Jack is happily riding around with a Jet Ski he rented, Kiyoshi is happily browsing his phone. He'd even been longer without reception than the others. 60+ years! A lot to keep up with.
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When Jack finally left the ocean and joined Kiyoshi on his blanket, it already got dark and they have to leave soon to meet the others. But Jack wanted to talk to Kiyoshi. He needs to make sure this mateship of theirs is not going to drag them back down to the hell they've been in during their relationship. Jack is not sure how to start and how Kiyoshi would take it so he waited until they were almost due to leave... Jack: "Kiyoshi..." Kiyoshi: "Hm?" Jack took a deep breath in and then he let it all out: "You know, after I - uhm... left you, I had to have a talk with Greg. And as much as I hate him, I think I have to admit that he was right - in some points at least. He said a relationship is hard work. And he didn't hesitate to point out that I also played my part in ruining - eh, us. So I want to make sure we talk about things that make us feel uncomfortable. And things we need - and want." Kiyoshi laughed: "Ah, he gave me that talk too. Even twice. To make sure it seeps through, I guess." Jack: "What? When?" Kiyoshi: "When we were here together, at Beltane. I was still a bit out but he managed to reach me, he is very powerful. And wise."
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Jack: "So, what do you think?" Kiyoshi: "I think we should follow his advice and work hard. I cherish ... our mateship too much to let it go to waste again. I promise you, I won't keep anything from you and talk to you if I feel uncomfortable. And about my wants and needs. I will share it all with you. No more hiding - no more secrets." He wanted to say '...you' instead of '...our mateship', but it's not the right time for this when Jack wants to discuss their mateship. And he's still so anxious and vulnerable. It's just the beginning. And they have all the time in the worlds to sort it out. And so they agreed to the new terms and conditions of their mateship.
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But Jack was so anxious of being hurt again, he couldn't help it and asked: "Do you think it will work?" Kiyoshi: "Let's just do our best, hm? We both changed, a lot." Jack pondered about it for a while and came to the conclusion Kiyoshi was right. Kiyoshi had spent 6 decades in that tree to reflect and Jack went through the hell of pain for leaving him, his Alpha. And the therapy game chased him through an almost relationship with Lou and even killed him so he could make a brandnew start. They now both know what they have lost. And what they have been missing. A chill wind blew over the ocean to the beach and Jack, who was still wet, shivered. Kiyoshi noticed it: "Don't tell me you are cold!" Jack: "What? No! I'm the Super Soldier, after all!" Kiyoshi laughed: "Hey, no more secrets! You promised!" Jack: "Fine! I'm cold. But it's just a reaction. Because my skin is still wet!" Kiyoshi: "Aouwww. Come here." And he pulled Jack close.
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And Jack leaned in. He felt warm in an instant. Kiyoshi smelled so good. Like sun and ocean and food - and Kiyoshi's very own, incomparable scent. Jack: "Do you think this is a weird thing to do for mates?" Kiyoshi: "It's only weird when we make it weird. If it feels good for both of us and we agree on something, nothing should be weird between us. Right?" Jack moved even closer to Kiyoshi's warm body: "Right. We can't compare our mateship with what others have and do, I guess. Not even our woohoo felt weird for me. It felt good, great even. Even though we didn't both agree beforehand. I only felt so bad because I thought it was - eh ... inapproprate, you know. Since you're a diety now." Kiyoshi: "And I was horrified because I knew what you went through and I - eh ... felt I kind of exploited the situation. Though, I had no choice, like you. But it felt good for me too." Jack sighed as he remembered: "So good." Kiyoshi pulled Jack a bit tighter and put a soft kiss on Jack's wet, sandy hair.
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They sat there, cuddling, until Jack's phone made weird zombie sounds (that's his ringtone for Sai...) Message from Sai: 'Where are you? We're waiting at the restaurant!' Seems it's really about time to leave. Kiyoshi was already dressed while Jack was still shaking the water - and sand - out of his hair. Kiyoshi endured it - and smiled. It might sound strange, but this quirky side of Jack played a big part helping Kiyoshi get out of the tree. And he wouldn't want to miss it.
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Eventually they put the blanket in Jack's inventory and ran over to the restaurant boat in the harbor of Porto Azzurro. Jack knew they would have pizza for dinner, so he was fine with eating something else at their picknick ;)
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Ah, it's been a long time since I've seen them so happy together. One of the best days I've ever had with them <3
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'It's merely human situations The moments between us both The distance, the passions Finding a reason. Today...Like always, I am thinking of you.
Yes, you see. It's merely human conditions Feeling well or not If it's by day, or if it's by night If it's nostalgia or post-love. Today...Like always, I am thinking of you
Like our time hasn't yet passed. Tell me, where are we? What could happen? Hearts bound by an arrow, but, To each other that's the barrier that must be demolished I am thinking of you. I am thinking of me' Cosas della Vida - Tina Turner & Eros Ramazotti
Outtakes
Ah, I so wanted them both on the Jet Ski, like on their date over a year ago here at Tartosa! But Kiyoshi refused to stay in the water because he developed thalassophobia (fear of water). Who knows when -.- And I only realized hours later: I should have given him that fear-be-gone potion or already turn off that stupid fear option (but it would also remove the wants, I guess?) but I don't use them anyway either. Little Goat: 'That's boring!' Little Goat: 'Let's go over and watch Ji Ho and Vlad again, then!'
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From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest
Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here
📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-28
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Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad Activity Report
Part 2
4/22 (Wed) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
...Geez, Junpei...what's wrong with that...Oh, sorry, it's Takeba.
Well, Junpei Iori, that rude idiot, yelled abusive language at a woman, so I just had to give him a little warning.
For an hour.
By the way, Junpei has a cold. He has a high fever and looks like he is in pain, but I don't care.
After all, after the exploration of Tartarus, he stayed up late watching late-night TV, so it was all his fault.
...I guess today's post wasn't really a report, right? Sorry.
4/23 (Thu) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo.
There are no Student Council activities today, so I took a quick look around Paulownia Mall before heading home... It seems like the number of Lost people has increased significantly. To be honest, I'm a bit worried, but the reality is that we have no choice but to build up our strength in Tartarus. I hope the second-years, our new fighting force, will do their best.
Speaking of which, it seems that the sports clubs have started recruiting new members, and that's the topic of conversation in the lounge. Akihiko seems to be excited at the thought of club activities, but I'll have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't start training on his own again. The field leader seems to be interested in club activities as well. I hope he chooses a club where he can put his skills to good use in real situations...
4/24 (Fri) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
Today, while chatting in the school hallway, a second-year student said something that concerned me. Apparently, a friend of his dropped out of school and has become a recluse. Since there is a possibility that he is a Lost, I reported this to Ikutsuki-san just in case... I hope that nothing bad happens, but I don't think we can be optimistic.
It's really frustrating to see damage happening in places close to me like this. Even though my job right now is to heal my body...
Hurry up... let me fight.
4/25 (Sat) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hi, it's Junpei.
Wow, time flies, and tomorrow will be another week since I moved into the dorm. A week that seems short but long... a week that seems long but short...
No, nothing dramatic happened. Anyway, life is comfortable! I'm not tied down to anything.
But it's more free than living at home, or maybe it's just a sense of freedom? It's a bit of a pain to get food, but I can eat whenever I want, I get to choose the channel I want, and best of all, I don't have to hide *it* under the bed... oh no. I'm deleting the last one.
But how can I turn it off? Hey, wait, sir!
4/26 (Sun) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Ah, it's Takeba.
Today is Sunday, so I went out in the morning to do some window shopping and eat around town. It feels like it's been a really long time since I've had a day off.
Well, shadows don't have any days off, so you really shouldn't let your guard down...
That's fine, right?
It seems that Junpei and the leader also went out. I wonder where they hang out? I can imagine what Junpei does, but the leader doesn't seem to have any hobbies. Oh, he seems to like music, so he probably goes around CD stores.
The seniors were in the dormitory. Kirijo-senpai said that she feels more relaxed when reading, but I wonder if that was because she was being considerate of Sanada-senpai who can't go out due to an injury? Hmm, I don't really understand Kirijo-senpai's personality, so I'm not sure.
I don't think this is really a report or anything, but this was Takeba.
4/27 (Mon) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo.
Today I invited him, our field leader, to join the Student Council. I hoped that he would use his adaptability to help me on campus, but maybe I was being a bit too pushy?
Well, right after the invitation, I got permission from Toriumi-sensei and he came straight to the Student Council room, so at least it seems there's not a complete lack of interest.
...When I see a person with an ability, I naturally tend to judge that they would be happy to utilize that ability... but maybe that's a bad habit of mine. I should reflect on this. But even so, I have high expectations for his work.
I introduced him to the members of the Student Council, and it seems he has already caught the eye of the disciplinary committee chairman, Odagiri. To be able to take a liking to such a difficult guy like him, he must be no ordinary person.
But... compared to that, look at the principal's attitude this morning! What a huge waste of time! Do I need to do something about it...?
4/28 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
The lines that were cut off by the recent Shadow attack have finally been restored. I normally don't use the internet that much so it won't have much of an impact on me, but it will be a relief for Mitsuru, who has to investigate various things. Also, Junpei was making a fuss about online games. That guy plays too much.
Honestly, my ribs are just like the cables.
I hope I can just replace it with a new one and end the treatment... But maybe it'll be nice to go online for a change of pace.
I remember someone in my class saying that the video of the world title defense match the other day was available. I should check it out...
4/29 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hey!
It's Junpei!
Holiday! It's a national holiday!
Am I the only one who feels like I've gotten a huge bonus when I have a day off other than Sunday?
…Oh, by the way, what day is it today?
Well, that's ok, but anyway I enjoyed my holiday! That's it!
Oh, Tartarus and SEES are on holiday because the Senpais are out.
By the way, our leader said that he saw Sanada-san in front of the police station at night... Could it be that he forgot that Kurosawa-san wasn't there and went to buy a weapon?
Hehehe, the other day he said "I can't buy it at night, so please be careful."
Even though he was saying "I'll do my best", he ended up being the one who got carried away. …Maybe Sanada-san is actually an… air-headed person?
4/30 (Thu) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Uh, this is Takeba.
The world is definitely in a Golden Week mood. I saw on TV that the cherry blossoms are in full bloom at Hirosaki Castle in Aomori. In the class next door, some kids are taking Thursday, Friday and Saturday off and have already been to Guam since yesterday.
...Well, that's fine. Even if there are no missions, there is no way I can go out and play. However, when I thought that the battle without a goal would continue on and on like this, I felt a little uneasy, or perhaps I wanted some kind of feedback that I was useful. Haha, I'm feeling a bit down. Sorry! This is Takeba.
5/1 (Fri) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hi, Junpei here!
Today, at Sanada-san's request, I was able to accomplish my mission of carrying important documents to Tatsumi Memorial Hospital, where he was admitted for a medical examination!
...No, sorry. This is a report with some dramatization. Even the watchdog and the leader came along, so it just seemed like we were all visiting the hospital. Oh, by the way, the important document is the class list for class 2E. Sanada-san, what is that for?
Oh, and I met someone at the hospital who seems to be an acquaintance of Sanada-san. Someone who is apathetic.
No, how should I put it, he was like a knife, with an aura that said "I'll punch you if you talk to me"... He looked strong... Somehow, I got the feeling that Senpai really trusted him, and when I saw that... I was kind of jealous...
Ah, hahaha, something's weird about me.
5/2 (Sat) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. Today is the 8th night of the lunar calendar. I was contacted by the Kirijo family to say that they will be sending me some good Gyokuro tea soon, as they do every year. They say that this year's harvest is even better than before, so as a tea lover, I'm looking forward to it.
Even so, I was surprised to find that it was already that season. I really feel how quickly time passes.
At school, Golden Week starts tomorrow, and my classmates are busy planning trips and fun activities.
I don't have any particular plans, and the whole day is spent... well, maybe I'll read a book. I tuned up my bike the other day because I had too much free time. At times like this, it's hard not to have a hobby to kill time. I'm not interested in TV either... Oh, that reminds me. There seems to be a lot of talk about some suspicious shopping program lately. Amazing Commodities...I think it was a common name, like "Yamada" or "Suzuki"...Yeah. It should be on air tomorrow, so I might as well take a look.
5/3 (Sun) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Eh, this is Takeba...
Sorry, I don't really have a good voice.
Don't worry about it. No, it's not like the Chairman's pun really touched my heart.
Something bad happened during the day.
Can I tell you? Is it okay?
Even though I was saying it was a report... I'm also in a hurry. I mean, please listen to me, anyone is fine! This is the worst! I went to see a movie with a friend from my club today. It was a super popular movie that was released just in time for Golden Week. I was really looking forward to it. So, we met at Paulownia Mall, and there was still some time before the screening so we decided to walk around for a bit. I said I wanted to go look at some clothes, but the girl said she wanted to go to a bookstore. But she was a huge bookworm, and I don't know if it's a used bookstore, but she loves books so much that when we go to a bookstore, she loses herself in reading books.
I knew that, and I didn't have any particular books I wanted to read, so it would be boring to go, and when you go into a bookstore, you feel like you want to go to the bathroom, don't you? So I didn't want to go, and I told her I didn't want to go either because she probably wouldn't come back.
She said she was just there to pick up the book she ordered and would be back soon. But I had a bad feeling, so I told her I'd wait by the fountain and that she should go alone...I mean, if you have a bad feeling about it, you shouldn't go! In the end, she never came back...
(Recording stopped due to memory capacity exceeded)
5/13 (Wed) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. Yesterday, a member of the Gekkoukan Academy staff was killed in a landslide by a car.
There was a traffic accident in which a man fell off a road and sustained serious injuries. It hasn't rained recently, so I thought it was just a coincidence, but it seems that it may not have been an accident. What's more, it may have been something to do with a shadow...
Whenever there is a suspicious accident or incident within the police, Kirijo's lab is secretly contacted, and this accident was caught in that net. Apparently, when they were investigating the ground to investigate the cause of the accident, they found evidence of a landslide caused by an external force. However, this is not certain, they also said that it "seems to be an external influence" to the extent that it is merely a symptom of the problem.
Afterwards, I asked for more details, but apart from the fact that the accident occurred around a certain time, there was nothing to suggest that the Dark Hour was related. Hmm... Maybe I'm being a bit overly sensitive.
5/14 (Thu) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
Today was an extremely peaceful day, with nothing to report as part of SEES, and nothing I wanted to personally think about. ...Well, that's just on the surface, after all...
Hmph... There's no point in being shy, so I'll just tell you. There are only a few days left until the midterm exams. The dormitory and the school are quiet on the surface, but deep down, I can't help but feel like a pretty violent storm is raging.
As for the guys in the dorm, Mitsuru and I are acting the same as usual, but Takeba seems to stay in her room after coming home from school and never coming out. I'm worried about whether she's eating properly, but in this respect, girls are better than boys. The field leader seems to be cool, and he seems to be doing what he needs to do, such as stopping by the library at school and studying with the lights on until late at night.
The problem, after all, is... Junpei. I'll have to give him a warning tomorrow.
5/15 (Fri) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
This is Kirijo.
Recently, as I continued my daily Shadow surveillance, I noticed that the number of shadow activities had decreased dramatically since the large Shadow was defeated the other day.
I can't let my guard down, but I feel like I've had a weight lifted off my shoulders for the first time in a long time.
I was aware that I wasn't putting my all into it, so I thought it wouldn't be so bad to spend this weekend sitting at my desk like a student would...
I've been told that Akihiko will be able to return soon, so let's think about how to organize ourselves so that we can start full-scale activities after the exams are over. Yes, I'd like to have more... manpower...
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ygodmyy20 · 8 months
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sometimes we feel like we're drowning
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"It's just you now. Take care of mother."
i have the normal amount of emotions about them (lying) <3
#a redraw but also not really cus i ended up tracing a lot from the old one hfldsjdfs#it was only supposed to be for reference but i ended up keep messing w it instead of redrawing it proper......#feel like i got his expression down better in the old one; looks more strained/ hearbroken like i feel#but thats fine#my art#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#i'm still not sure if liam or varric is the one who deals the killing blow#love both the thought of liam having his own sisters blood on his hands and never being able to wash it off fully#or his (future) best friend saving him that fate but now having that stand between them#cus liam would be grateful for it but part of him would always remember that and hold it against him#(both options also make the bartrand encounter crunchy in slightly different ways)#either way in that moment he kind of hates varric for even just being there. and fenris too#(though tbh im not sure how realistic it would be for him to take sb else except bethy and varric down into the deep roads)#((so maybe in canon fen wouldnt be there idk. havent decided this yet either))#logically he knows its not fair ofc but it just feels like an invasion of privacy. it feels Wrong.#they have no place in this they shouldnt have been there they shouldnt have been part of it they shouldnt have seen him like this#but its sth that binds them too#the rest of the trek is miserable and awkward for all of them in any case#but yeah.#idk if they would be able to bury her down here properly so maybe they end up doing it via lava?#theyre not leaving her body out in the open to rot and/or become food for darkspawn or spiders thats for sure
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kangaracha · 2 months
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queenmaker should be coming in the next few days, depending on whether i have bad hayfever or a cold today - this is supposed to be my holiday week, so i would expect that i am actually sick, but then also i've passed out for every hour i haven't been at work today so i'm both caught up and screwed up on sleep ready for my half days 😭😂
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okay weird q incoming but what ways do you think speedsters can get sick? Like to my understanding, they can’t really come down with normal virus’ like the flu, right? But they could get things like chronic migraines?
NANOBOTS!!! This is one of the best pieces of canon lore ever. I did a whole post on it but TLDR: normal human metabolisms have so much shit going on that they don't even notice nanobots in their body BUT speedsters have hyper accelerated metabolisms that are the equivalent of the straight A's overachiever in school on meth. So speedster metabolisms do notice nanobots and they attack full force, triggering all of the body's defenses and responses.
But the nanobots are metal so it obviously doesn't do anything. It just leaves the speedster lethargic, feverish, vomiting, dizzy, with a headache, sore muscles and a runny nose, ect. It's basically an allergic reaction.
Now, poisoning them can work depending on what the poison is/what the dosage is. You would need a 100% fatal poison and you would need a fairly high dose. Because speedsters heal fast and they have a hyper accelerated metabolism, so any poison that is based on toxicity (alcohol poisoning for example) would be out of their system faster than it could even take effect.
But poisons that can't be cleared out/processed by the body (take cyanide for example, it binds with the chemical receptors in your body making it physically impossible to use oxygen) wouldn't really be affected by their metabolism at all. So while the speedsters could heal the damaged tissues from these poisons fairly quickly (making it seem as though they were only slightly affected) they would ultimately need time to do so, time they would not have if it kills them first. This isn't technically what you are asking because there would be no substance that 'makes them sick', there would only be 'fine', 'not fine for like a minute and then fine again' and 'dead'. (... unless they were hooked up to a steady supply of the toxin)
Likewise, (this is getting more into theoretical territory, less canon) there might be some illnesses that would affect them? Not for long but if you got something super fucking fatal like Rabies, it might make them display mild cold symptoms for a day or something.
I don't know though. They have really fucking good immune systems. And even super fatal diseases can be fought. Take my example of Rabies, while it is commonly thought to be 100% fatal once symptoms show up there actually have been cases of people surviving it. Rabies is a very stealthy and fast disease, so the main problem with treating it is that your body's immune system isn't fast enough to stop it. People have survived by being placed in medically induced comas (slowing their bodily functions and thus the disease) for long enough that the medication can eradicate it. So for a speedster? That's gone in a minute tops. You would need an insane disease that I'm not sure even exists.
There's also like... pregnancy and menstruation. Growing pains, muscle pain from running is a BIG ONE, being dehydrated/starvation, blood loss, ect. Lots of ways to fuck with a speedster in a way they can't immediately fix.
There are also speedster specific ailments. It's basically 50/50 if a natural born speedster gets a weird highly fatal aging disease. Sometimes speedsters can be born without a kinetic energy shield which makes using their powers at all incredibly fatal to them. All speedsters will have connectivity issues at some point that can be fatal. Sometimes Time Gets Bad™ (shout out to when Barry kept chronically stealing time from people/things every time he used his powers). Sometimes they have too much energy and can't maintain human form (shout out to when Wally didn't know what the speedforce was and was accidentally cosplaying Ghost Rider). Velocity 9 is a highly addictive drug that works on speedsters and makes them display typical addiction behavior (and withdrawal). V9 can also cause a speedster to 'overdose' (burst into flames/lightning/energy). They all have the constant urge to yeet themselves into the speedforce. Ect.
#here's the thing: they are made of speedforce but its not a skin deep thing. you feel me? like their CELLS are made of speedforce#so all shit still affects them#i keep saying that they don't need oxygen or food to survive and thats true but its only if they're actively compensating with speedforce#cause they can get energy from the speedforce or they can get energy from oxygen and food or both. they can't do neither#and they don't really *know* or understand that theyd be fine with JUST speedforce energy. they still think they need oxygen and food#so if they were suffocating or something they might instinctively crank up the speedforce to compensate but they're also very stupid#so they might just die. idk it really depends on who it is how much they know and how much SF they're drawing on#cause like... energy beings need energy yo#i hope this makes sense#the muscle pain one is interesting cause Wallys early runs are really big on the whole hitting the wall thing#he would hit a wall that he physically couldn't break through and it caused him a lot of pain.#some of that was not being hooked up properly cause Wally wasn't hooked up properly until he was an ADULT#because he is FUCKING INSANE and he just went 'huh i guess this is my limit and i will stay below it' liKE AN INSANE PERSON#anyway some of it was SF issues and some of it was mental but he actually got really really hurt anytime he got close to the wall#REALLY bad muscle pain. and like... it was potentially extremely fatal. 'breaking down your body into little bits' fatal#he doesn't get that anymore because hes properly hooked up now but jfc that man treated 'entering the death zone' like it was#the high score to beat at his local arcade. he took it as a fucking challenge. absolutely insane dude right there
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whilomm · 4 months
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the whole "would you rather be alone with a man or a bear in the woods" thing is so fucking infuriating from all sides like on one hand u got the MRA cunts getting waaay too angry over it and proving that they specifically are Bad People to be alone in the woods w, like yeah no 99% of men id see on a hike who gives a shit but U Specifically are worrying. and on the other hand u have the genuinely worrying notion that some ppl are either so terrified of strangers conceptually that they think the very common occurance of "passing a stranger on a hike" is the beginning to one of their spicey true crime murder horror stories, which as much as i hate to say it Says A Lot About Society (general fear of strangers/lack of community fostered in the U.S.A. and shit and that leads to obsessions with security theatre/further isolation in the name of "safety" blah blah blah u kno the drill) meanwhile when ppl who actually go hiking see this they are just like "uhm idk when i see random dudes i just like. nod at them as i pass by" bc tbey actually Go Outside and realize being alone w a strange man on a hike just. happens. a lot. passingly. OR the possibility that some of these are people who are the reason why they have to plaster "DONT FEED THE BEARS" signs everywhere. which. well there are studies showing that quite a few americans are convinced they could take a bear in a fight, i wouldnt be surprised if a lotta ppl have a skewed idea of How Dangerous Bears Are.
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thethingything · 6 months
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I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever#but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave#I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up#I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault#and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to#I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in#and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen#like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept#than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it#and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do#and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening#and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that#but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse#also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this#I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly#I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection#I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline#hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma#I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything#which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place
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freebooter4ever · 2 years
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queenerdloser · 1 year
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what i need is like. a how to guide on improving your food health when you’re a tiny baby who only likes carb heavy savory food and doesn’t like to cook and also hates change. basically i need someone to come in & force me to eat better for me bc experience has shown that i crumple at the slightest bit of hardship when it comes to re-aligning my eating habits. 
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mejomonster · 2 years
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Truly genuinely beyond happy my feelings of hunger are back and normal and regularly occurring again after the hellscape that was the past year
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teaandinanity · 2 years
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It continues to be bewildering to me that I made it to 20 thinking it was just normal to have pain so bad once a month that my body decides I’m dying and need to throw up about it and then once I realized maybe that wasn’t normal we segued directly into ‘well this is almost definitely not normal but literally no medical professional I have ever brought it up to DID jack shit about it.’
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years
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wait you got me so invested in the stammer & heddy tailor au....
this is my standard disclaimer that i have never posted a fic on ao3* and for however much i say “au” i truly mean that it’s a universe that lives in my head & i am absolutely delighted to tell you all about, all the time <3 if it helps i ALSO got me so invested in the heddy & stammer tailor au
ok now that the author’s note is out of the way here’s some notes about the not!fic heddy & stammer tailor au:
stammer as the tailor from gent’s playbook, very reserved, quiet, with an excellent eye for details (honestly the evidence i have for his style sense is just that he’s best friends with pk subban so it has to be there somewhere if only by proxy irl) is hired by victor hedman, star of the tampa bay lightning who is every other tailor’s nightmare to dress (huge, opinionated, fashionable)
heddy is decently well-known throughout the league for being very well-dressed & becomes quietly well known for also being one of his new tailor’s favorite loyal customers [heddy has the nicest fabrics. he has his suits the first day a new collection drops & e v e r y o n e is jealous]
stammer’s business booms after heddy takes a chance on him as his first big client & promotes him, heddy sees him grow in popularity & get more clients
heddy also moonlights as a model for stammer’s suits on instagram, initially to help him grow his business because then he won’t have to pay for a model and then because he’s over there all the time anyway because they’re dating (that’s why the model’s face is never in the pictures)
there’s not really a plot to this besides the vague idea of a plot where stammer makes heddy his lucky suit that he wins the cup in & sews a special little tag into the lining of his jacket that says i love you
because love sometimes is picking out the perfect right color pocket square to match your husband’s beautiful suit that you fitted like a kiss to the curves of his huge body
& also sometimes love is making your beautiful husband who makes you beautiful clothing enjoy nice things for himself once in a while, like the fancy watch you bought him or the nice suit you custom-ordered for him (from him) just so you could take it off of him
#*i did very much post a zine on ao3 that was part of a really fun exchange that i loved doing (thank you leah for organizing!!!)#& had a fantastic time with however i have not strictly speaking posted a fic. one day i will. eventually. hopefully. pray for me :)#also one time my horoscope told me i was a ‘neutral projector’ & i’ve never felt more called out (‘loves making up things’/‘will not#actually write or plot but will explain every intricate detail of their world & character relationships’/‘hype up every member of the#writing chat & give good advice but never follow it’) like HI CAN U NOT DO THIS TO ME HOROSCOPE THANKS i was read to FILTH#liv in the replies#i do LOOOOOVE me a good one of them plays hockey the other one does not au sometimes they’re so fun to explore dynamics outside/inside sport#at the time i came up with this stammer was out on IR & heddy kept showing up to the playoffs in ridiculously nice suits what was i to do??#the gent’s playbook tailor will sometimes model his own suits w/o showing his own face which made it look like he had a secret model come in#heddy canonically says his suits make him feel better when he plays esp during playoffs & if he wins in a suit he’ll keep wearing it#oh also the truth of the love is in the pocket square bit? angela price i will never forget. anyway that blue suit i posted in the last ask#with the perfect pink pocket square? that pocket square is a pair of stammer’s boxers heddy took To Me. in my brain#me about the beautiful clothing: this is like daisy crying in gatsby’s silk shirts except it’s baby alpaca fur & also it’s not sad#it’s simply decadent & the inherent intimacy of a fitting mapping the body yada yada yada knowing the ways to flatter someone is a form#of loving them etc etc. love is art love is food love is given love is stored in the custom three-piece suit and tie#is this an enemies to lovers? workplace drama? is the secret plot i only just now invented & added that heddy is ‘difficult to work with’#but it’s just because he wants to look good & in the words of his own (real) tailor the hardest guy to fit because he’s so big? OHHH HOLD IT#I GOT THE PLOT IN THE TAGS Y’ALL AND IT’S STAMMER TEACHING HEDDY TO LOVE HIS BODY heddy who’s been told what to/not wear & you know.#the commodification of the body in hockey (but we’re not getting that deep) but stammer with a mouth full of pins tightening heddy’s pant#leg down even further as he listens to what heddy wants for once & lets him pick fabrics (this is the daisy shirt moment but it’s heddy#looking at fabric swatches dozens of books of them stammer helps him pick out matching linings &outsides &squares) & stammer compliments him#& they’re in love & idk NEARLY enough abt fashion but there r like codes? messages? to wearing suits i think w/the etiquette so that too#should this have also gone under a readmore? yeah probably. whoops#victor hedman#steven stamkos#tampa bay lightning
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nomairuins · 27 days
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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binders-and-beanies · 3 months
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ED tw in da tags i just need 2 vent
#ive been. strugglin w food again. not even in an ED way like. I Want to eat#but my appetite n nausea has just been getting worse and worse I like Cannot eat enough#I have to force like half a meal down and then be too uncomfortably full to eat again the rest of the day. sometimes it’s painful too#which will result in me intentionally eating less in the hopes of being able to eat later#like if I have a special dinner or smth coming up I’ll skip lunch and then still only manage a few bites at dinner#so I never know what or how much food to get. I don’t wanna waste a lot but if I Can eat I wanna take advantage#part of it too is this is the most independently I’ve ever sought out my own food#like it’s my first time not living at home Or having a meal plan. so money is a factor in a way it never has been#which I could handle if I felt like I could freaking eat what I buy! or if I didn’t need Specific ass foods if I wanna get anything down!#eventually I end up ravenous and get like a $20 meal and then can’t justify buying more later#but I can’t eat even the tiny snacks in my dorm sometimes. esp in the morning#idk if part of it is also just my body struggling to get used to an all new food routine. a lot changed at once and I have no consistency#but I should be able to eat at least close to what I’m usually able to eat right? I’m not like Starving or binging?#dude and the freaking nausea is worse w each passing day. actually lemme just:#emetophobia tw#bc. I will be having a conversation w a stranger and just start wretching heaving etc#not actually ******** ** but having to actively try not to for the first time in years#like every day. it’s worse when I’m nervous or doing smth active but it’s constant and debilitating and embarrassing#bc everyone keeps having to be like oh my god are u good? and idk what to tell them!! idk what’s going on!!#I’ve just started saying I have chronic nausea bc I clearly do. idk exactly from what. dyspraxia? former ED? Smth I don’t know I have?#I take nausea meds but it only helps for a few minutes. I need 2 tell a doctor abt it but don’t have my insurance card yet#idk why I’m saying all this here I don’t rly want ppl’s dumb speculations or recommendations. I just like dunno what to do#it’s hard enough as is to eat as a dyspraxic person. my choices are limited#i pretty much have Disordered Eating again despite not rly having like. an ED anymore. mentally#I’m sure not having enough food intake is affecting other health issues and I’m eating as much as i can but at what cost (the nausea)#mine#personal#txt#eating disorder tw
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