#also nandor to a degree

[weedle-testaburger]

i’d like to propose a concept called ‘blorbo-to-be’. it’s when you watch a thing having heard about a character where you know the fans love em and you feel like you’ll vibe with em

[megaawkwardhuman]

OK SO HI long time no see (er post? or at least post like this)

my brain worms have been on and off for a bit but THE POSTER FOR SEASON 6 HAS GOT THEM ALL FIRED UP

so as I do when my brain is doing zoomies I'm gonna point at things!

right off the bat OMFG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

like the vibes here are just *chef's kiss* good shit right there

I know it's just typical wwdits promo stuff that guillermo has a wtf is going on what did I just get dragged into face but in this context with everyone looks like enamored to some degree with the house is giving character discovered big bad thing/the reason why things are fucked energy

also just over all love how guillermo looks here (like slay you horrified king <3)

WHY IS THERE 5 BATS!?!?

like ok only 4 of the main 6 cast are currently able to turn into bats so like HMMM?

save me vampire guillermo endgame vampire guillermo endgame vampire guillermo endgame save me

part of me only thinks that the bat is only there cuz guillermo used to be a vampire and the farthest bat is him moving on from wanting to be a vampire

buuuuuut that's not as fun so LET ME DREAM

speaking of the bats the grouping of the bats are ALSO interesting

just saying IF the 5th bat is supposed to guillermo that means the 2 paired off bats are probably nandermo given how they tend to stick together (I mean they're literally RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER in the poster)

now off the top of my head it could be referencing how nandor will be following guillermo as he tries to get a normal job or something like that next season (given that the lower of the 2 bats looks like they're going after the top bat who's going off somewhere away from the rest)

but come on we all know that we're low key hoping this means nandermo world trip part 2: it actually happens this time (like one bat is leading and the other is catching up)

if FOR SOME REASON isn't nandermo bats going off to do god knows what my only other theory is that it represents the guide and guillermo given that they're kinda outsiders?

eh still team nandermo bats

lighting go brrrr

that's it that's the comment

ok but like the house looks fucking evil here

I know they're prob going for a evil house on a hill/dracula's castle thing with that angle but with the way everyone is facing it and the way they all kinda look hypnotized by it the house ITSELF looks evil

the house is the real bad guy and controls everyone reveal next season!?!?! /j

and that's about all I have to word vomit for now

AHHHHHH CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE A FUCKING RELEASE DATE NOW

[raviposting]

ALSO ALSO can we just talk about how the documentary crew has been more actively present this season - esp in the premiere and finale?? We hear the producer’s voice in the premiere. Guillermo mentions pausing for the documentary crew to edit. We see Nandor & Laszlo preparing for their close up with the crew. The Guide gets those pauses for her flashbacks and Colin comments on the editing. Guillermo mentions how the crew followed them. Laszlo asks where they are to pull up footage and even knows the name of the crew member - we know one of them is named Ryan!!!

It’s so interesting to see because we’ve seen them develop and grow to care more about each other. But we’ve also seen that they have to acknowledge people outside their group (to varying degrees of success) - The Guide, Nadja’s Antipaxos family, Sean & Charmaine. And it’s even extended to the crew. Instead of being so background that the vampires forget they’re there, or for throwaway jokes about how one of them died during the process like in s1, they feel more like real people. Our characters know them, they know how they act, they know their names. They’re still faceless characters but the crew feels more real this season than they ever did before and I so think that’s intentional with how the vampires arcs have worked out this season.

[helyiios]

fascinated with whatever nandor’s actual intelligence is bcs granted he’s extensively moronic and stupid to the highest degree on plenty things he also seems very good at chess, assumedly won plenty of battles back then which means something battle iq wise and also there’s that one whatever the fuck thing that went through his brain when he threw a dog toy at the werewolf which was weirdly really smart ?

[captain-mj]

I think you mentioned What We Do In The Shadows on your tiktok once and so I am here to ask

Do you have any hcs on a WWDITS AU?????

Love this very very much! So yeah I'm a big fan of the show (I was... not a big fan of season 4 though... Fuck you Jermaine) but this has now rotted my brain

Ghost, like Nandor, is super old and used to be a warrior but he is substantially cooler than Nandor

When he gets depressed, he lays on the ceiling

Soap is his familiar but he actually does plan on turning him. Eventually.

Soap calls him master because he heard familiars did that and no one in the house knows how to tell him to stop

So Alejandro and Rodolfo are like Nadja and Lazlo. A little less Horny, but that’s them

They have eaten many familiars and decided maybe it was better to not get them anymore

Rodolfo is from around 1700 in Mexico

Alejandro was closer to 1850-1900

Rodolfo turned Alejandro and they got married same day

Gaz is an energy vampire but he gets fed by high emotions so he’s the life of the party.

Alex is Gaz’s on Again off again werewolf boyfriend…. No one really approves but Gaz just points at him and they have to agree he’s really attractive so they can’t really argue.

Price is Ghost’s sire and he also has “adopted” Gaz and gives them both “tips” and acts like their dad when he’s around. He’s not great at the role and is more a fun uncle

He also only appears every like four years to cause problems and then dip

Ghost sired Roach thinking they were going to be together forever but Roach decided he wanted to live a few decades as a bat

Ghost has worn a mask for the past 6 centuries he’s been alive and Rodolfo thinks he’s just doing it for the bit at this point

Laswell and Farah are also werewolves and them and Alex make a pack

At this point the rivalry between them all is more of a joke than anything

The vampires still disapprove of Alex

Soap refuses to explain why he wants to be a vampire but he has a degree in history so when he gets turned he can blend in easier

Graves is their human neighbor who is completely oblivious but keeps helping out because he thinks they all work the nightshift

Valeria also appears every year around Christmas to cause issues and then dip. They’re not sure how she keeps finding them, just that she never fails to show up on Christmas

[thebennsofdallas]

What we do with regret

I don’t want to do this but I must. (SPOILERS FOR 5.01 & 5.02)

I can’t stop watching all the awesome gifs of that scene in Nandor’s room, with Guillermo brushing Nandor’s hair and Nandor looks so content and blissed out. And Guillermo is so utterly gentle and careful with the brushing. I have no doubt he isn’t usually that way but as everyone has been saying, this is different. For both of them.

And I have to wonder, if, after the conversation at the restaurant, Nandor is not wondering, as Laszlo did, about Guillermo not being there to protect them anymore. About Guillermo not being there for HIM. Nandor hypothesizes that maybe Guillermo is going to die soon. He’s just being a dick when he says this to Nadja and Laszlo but maybe, he’s had time to think about it. 

Maybe, after they get home and he and Guillermo go into the bedroom to begin their sunrise ritual, Nandor has had some time to consider what he would do, how he would feel if Guillermo weren’t there anymore. Not just gone but GONE. For good. No coming back this time. Guillermo has left him before and Nandor couldn’t handle it. He went to find him after the incident at Simon’s nightclub and then again when Guillermo went to Celeste. He saved Guillermo’s life numerous times. But if he has to take Guillermo’s life or if Guillermo’s death isn’t his choice, how will he bear it?

We already know, through Marwa, that Nandor doesn’t know what he would do without Guillermo. And after the birthday dinner, Nandor states that he would have no choice but to kill Guillermo if he were turned by someone other than him. The evening has forced Nandor to ponder a permanent future without Guillermo and maybe, that night, their ritual becomes precious in a way it never was before.

As for Guillermo, despite his frustration at not yet being a vampire, the biggest, most unchanging element in Guillermo’s life is Nandor. Now and again, he gives into the whim to start a new life but inevitably, he’s drawn back to Nandor. Nandor is STILL there. Nothing ever changes at the Staten Island house, which is the motivation that compels Guillermo to seek out Derek.

But then, all the rules change. He learns that, without meaning to, he’s heaped the biggest betrayal a familiar can force on his master. He’s done something that will mean the end of his time with Nandor. Whether Nandor kills him or not, Guillermo is going to have to face the consequences of his actions, one way or the other.

All the regrets he’s had about the choices he’s made thus far are nothing to compared to his sorrow about this misguided decision. Nandor can behave like a dick and an infant but Guillermo is aware, probably more than anyone, that Nandor also suffers from a certain degree of insecurity and self-doubt. He would never have gone to Derek if he had known about this fucking rule that no one bothered to tell him about 13 years ago. 

So maybe, Guillermo is thoughtful in this moment, too. As far as he knows, his days as Nandor’s familiar/bodyguard are numbered now. This ritual that they have, this simple act of brushing out Nandor’s hair, turns into an act of contrition for Guillermo, even though Nandor doesn’t know it. He revels in every stroke of the brush through Nandor’s soft hair, in the closeness of Nandor’s tall body. 

But when he’s telling Guillermo about his birthday present, the sweetness of his smile is like a silver dagger in Guillermo’s heart.

We’re only TWO episodes in.

[deliciousnecks]

I wanna take the word queerbaiting away from most people in fandom tbh because it doesn't mean "this ship didn't go my way this season", it describes a behavior of "wait and see wink wink" marketing where people outside the show dangle the possibility of queerness to keep and audience and never deliver. That's also kinda simplifying to some degree but I'm tired. Nandor and Guillermo are both canon, blatantly queer men. Just because it's a slowburn and isn't doing what people demand in this fandom immediately doesn't mean it's platonic and queerbait. And this without getting into my fears of how it's gonna go down when they actually get there, because while Guillermo might not be polyamorous I don't really think that Nandor will suddenly become monogamous for him either. Tbh

people screaming queerbating was what made me leave the tag tbh. it also makes me roll my eyes so hard when people say that there's nothing obvious about how nandor feels for guillermo. like, some people didn't like the finale, others did, and that's fine and all, but not liking it just because your ship didn't become canon? when it has been so much growth from all the characters makes me want to shake these people, but listen! all this you said. you're so right for it.

[22degreehalo]

aaaaand FINALLY I've finished writing up my next few recs for the Summer @ficreadingchallenge :'DDD Most of these I read weeks ago when I was especially tired and just wanted to lie down and listen to some podfics, as you'll see below~ But I'm still going! I got sooo close to finishing a line this time (and I WOULD HAVE if I hadn't swapped around the squares for some of these hahaha) and if possible I want to complete a full blackout! n.n

A couple of prompt-related rambles: 'Enemies to Friends / Lovers' is highlighted buuut I actually later decided to use that fic for 'Future AU' so. Oh well :') I also swapped a fic from Domestic to Gift Giving even though gifts aren't the main focus because I was having trouble with that square and the gifts ARE still a pretty big part of the fic so??? who cares hahaha. Also somehow I've gotten this far using a different pairing for every single square and I was absolutely tempted to try to continue that, and am knocking myself out of it because I just want to encourage myself to read fic, not force myself into a pretzel trying to track down rarepair fics that SHOULD exist SOMEWHERE......

New recs below!! :D

Canon Compliant

after knowing all, I wonder, can you really say innocent? By Aialize (15.5k, ongoing, Milgram gen)

This is a super fascinating fic and a great example of one of my favourite genres: crack treated seriously! In this one, the music videos exist in-universe and the prisoners (plus Es) will watch them all, reacting and responding in-character. I love how committed the author is to this premise: some of the characters would rather forget all this stuff is even happening, while others (most notably Kotoko) fully intend to learn all they can about the other prisoners from them. It’s still early days, but I can’t wait to see how they all react differently, and what (correct or incorrect!) conclusions they come to! (Also, maybe it seems strange to use an AU fic for the tag ‘Canon Compliant’, but the fic is sticking to the canonically-chosen verdicts which is why it counts!)

Fic With No Comments Yet

messin’ up my mind by Skyrose – a podfic by CailynWrites (5k, 33:47, Percy/Oliver)

Choosing podfics for the ‘No Comments Yet’ category almost feels like cheating heh, but these very important fan works deserve just as much love!!! This is an adorable fic: stories where the characters’ friends/family ‘ship them’ can be corny and OOC, but I love that Fred and George initially just want to give Oliver something to care about other than Quidditch training, and have no clue the cogs they started working in Oliver’s head until they’re ready for that last push. And I love Oliver and Percy’s relationship: not quite close, comfortable friends, but more like very different people who’ve spent a lot of time together and never quite taken the plunge in becoming fixtures of one another’s life – yet. <3

Hurt/Comfort

The Care and Feeding of a Deeply Depressed Vampire [Podfic] by secretsofluftnarp, read by Pandamug (2.8k, 21:16, Nandor/Guillermo

Fics that perfectly capture the absurd black humour of this show are always a treat and this fic is no exception! One of the tags is ‘canon-typical sex talk’ and hoo BOY is that accurate haha, but beneath the characteristic horniness and always-at-least-mild insufferability, Nandor really is just a pathetic sad little vampire, and the degree of care Guillermo has for him – and how much Nandor trusts him in return – is so sweet!

BIPOC Character

[Podfic] The Benefits of Communication written by ushauz, voiced by GodOfLaundryBaskets (3.2k, 27:27, Wyll/Astarion)

I’m still dipping my toes into Wyll/Astarion fanfic, but this was a very nice introduction!! Despite focusing on Astarion’s trauma around sex, it also gets a bit into Wyll’s complicated relationship with it as well, in a way that totally makes sense for them! I can 100% see these two dumbasses having a miscommunication like this, doing something they both don’t like just because they think it’ll make the other happy :’D

Future AU

Recognition by SaraJaye (2k, N/Hilbert)

This is such a sweet fic, and I can totally imagine these two’s relationship going this way post-canon!! By the end of the game they’d both need some time before they’d really be ready to be in a relationship, and though short I totally love how the friendship builds enough here for them to do that! <3

Gift Giving

Tinsel by Lunar_Years (17.5k, Roy/Jamie/Keeley)

I absolutely love and 100% recommend this entire series of RJK fics – they capture the characters and their relationship absolutely perfectly, and the familial interactions ring so true! I particularly loved Roy’s complicated relationship to the holidays; feeling troubled by his own lack of enthusiasm towards what should be ‘his’ celebrations, and only realising in retrospect that he really had enjoyed his time taking part in it all with his partners. Despite being longer than all the other fics I’ve recced here so far, the time absolutely blazed by, because it all flowed so smoothly and once I started reading I didn’t want to stop! <3

Time Travel

Catalyst [podfic] by TheStarvingWriter, read by RavenGranger11 (2.5k, 19:53, Dean/Castiel)

This fic packs in so much for its length! It’s wonderfully atmospheric between the dingy motel room and young Dean’s insecurity and longing, and from the moment Cas steps in his fondness and familiarity for Dean shines right through <3

Time Loop

& home & home & home (or, a timeloop) by decemberista - a Podfic read by Beatificbean (3.1k/20:09, Remus/Sirius)

Ugh, this fic hits so hard. :( With its succinct writing we really get a sense of how hard Sirius tries, over and over, to save everyone. It’s almost like poetry – especially at the end, which really made me cry!! ;__;

[bespectacledbookworm]

Current things tag meme!

Tagged by @irregularcollapse , thanks! I swear I love getting tagged in stuff I just never have time :'D

3 ships: Hmmm I haven't really been consuming media that much lately, so here's some from a while ago ( and one for fun): Jaskier and Geralt (witcher), Guillermo and Nandor( wwdits), and Mizu and Taigen!!! (blue eye samurai) aaand Brittany Broski and Ghost from Call of Duty.

Last song: Lose Yourself to Dance- Daft Punk

Currently reading: With Faith comic on Webtoons!

Currently watching: Anything and everything Medaka ricefish on youtube since I just got some Platinum Miyuki Medaka! Also Vladimir NCL on youtube WHY IS HE SO PRETTY???

Last movie: Fucking predictable as ever, I rewatched Tron (1982) to ring in 2024

Currently consuming: Mom made enchiladas and rice for dinner so that was uhh incredible.

Currently craving : Potato samosas and mint chutney also egg tarts from 85 degree cafe.

I don't know how many people im suppooooosed to tag so here: @theglassfloor @heliager @tiffycatblog @pikachu-potter @thehomo-sapiensagenda @i-eat-dreams

[therelentless]

{ @fcllederage ;;

As much as Nandor claimed that being a vampire was the coolest thing ever, it was also quite annoying, especially when all he wanted was to go inside an establishment. It had taken more than just a few minutes to find the indicated person to extend an invitation that would allow him to set foot inside, but it happened, after some awkward interaction with one of the employers at the store.

Perhaps it had been the cape, the clothes in general, or the way Nandor had insisted on the poor human woman to clearly state that she invited him inside the store, that had made her think of him as strange, weird, and to a degree mad. "Did you see the way she was looking at me? a bit rude don't you think? I could wait for her outside and drain her. I won't, but I could... but I won't. I promise."

[diamondcitydarlin]

I'm not gonna tag this because shadows fandom loves to be contrarian and base their metas directly on people who didn't like things while calling them stupid and shallow and whatever (because apparently I can't not like the way a thing was written without directly insulting someone else who did?? Or being stupid? make it make sense) but I honestly am all for Guillermo being and staying a human. I've been all for it since day one, honestly. To me, everything about his story from the first episode, first season suggests that this is the kind of idealized dream he's going to wake up from eventually and realize it's not everything he wanted. I've always been 100% on board with that, especially with the reveal that he was a vampire hunter which came with its own set of powers. In fact, I was working on a fic a couple years ago that I intend to return to that is ALL about Guillermo finally eschewing his dreams of vampirism for a purpose that better fulfills him etc.

So no, my problem with this last episode is not that 'Guillermo needs to stay a vampire or it's bad writing phwah', my problem is with the swiftness that all of this happens, coupled with the fact that Guillermo is between a rock and a hard place and more or less just being guided into place by what everyone else in the situation thinks is best for him. Despite the fact that he literally DRINKS BLOOD FROM A CUP to fully come into his vampire powers naught but a few scenes before, the fact that he cannot bring himself to drain a human directly from the tap until dead (which I still don't think makes a lot of sense on it's own but fine) is treated as this insurmountable problem they can't possibly get over so, obviously, he needs to be reverted via Derek's death (a character who also doesn't deserve that). Can't just let him drink blood from cups or bottles for a while. Can't just let him half drain someone but not to the point of death. Maybe at least to give him some time to decide??? Maybe give him better reasons (of which there are many) to decide to revert? He has been idolizing this for most of his life, after all, I just think it's a shame that we're meant to accept that ONE moment of revulsion towards killing someone (KILLING SOMEONE OF ALL THINGS) is enough to make him just nope out completely. That's a disservice to him and what he's capable of, if you ask me.

See, I of course enjoyed the deliciousness of the whole cheating/sex parallel to Guillermo being bitten by someone else, loved that, I'm just not sure how I feel about that storyline ending with Nandor being like 'im gonna forgive you for this but only because you're too much of a stupid little baby to know what you want, but I know what you want better than you do, now lemme kill the guy you cheated on me with real quick ok' LIKE. I KNOW that they are toxic I KNOW they are unhealthy, but Guillermo is a character that has constantly been struggling with his own agency, often seizing it on his own by very aggressive means, often being shown as smarter and more capable than most of the household, and for this storyline to just end with Nandor 'fixing' it all because Guillermo's just too dumb to know what's best for him...IDK YALL. DIDN'T LIKE IT. I can see how people would find it romantic and I do think it's meant to be but...nope. I don't find that romantic lmao I find that insulting and patronizing. Maybe that's the point? But it wasn't funny either. Or interesting, really. (The Freddie stuff was fucked up but at least it was funny to some degree lol)

I guess my point is that I wish there had been more time spent on this. We can't keep excusing these cop-out, rushed and dropped storylines on 'well it's a goofy show' because yes, it's ALWAYS been a goofy show I get it, but there's no denying that seasons 1-3 did a better job of holding on to arcs and creating consequences for the characters as a result of these arcs and their actions, such as the Vampire Council tricking them into custody after a season of Guillermo killing a bunch of vampires etc. There's precedent in this GOOFY GOOFY show to think that there will be follow through and consequences of characters actions etc, so no, it doesn't come from nowhere and it's not people just seeing what they want to or whatever.

I do kind of think this was rushed because the next season will most likely be the last, but even if that is true, I don't see why we couldn't have dedicated more time to it in this next season. It's deflating, it's boring, it sucks that one of the main narrative questions of the show 'Will Guillermo transform or not?' has been answered with what I find to be more or less a wet fart that doesn't even really make sense or fully take into account who the characters are and what they're capable of.

Yes, it's a goofy show that is usually just episodic moments of whatever crazy shenanigans the vampires will get into today, but it used to be elevated and tied together by story arcs and narrative consequences that would, eventually, sooner or later, show up for the characters to deal with. It used to be arcs that spanned episodes of Guillermo coming into his power and feeling conflicted about his dreams versus his destiny. It used to be the Vampire Council or the Baron being a certain kind of existential threat. It used to give us the idea that while funny stuff was happening, buckle up, because it's going to get REAL in the last few episodes.

But now that's uh...more or less just not a thing anymore. Everything is dealt with in a 25 min runtime and there are no consequences for anything that last or mean anything. To me, that sucks, and not in a cool vampire way lmao.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

how do you come up with fic/series titles?

most of it is really leap frogging along vibes until I find a combination of words that I think sound cool

i’ve included explanations of how i came to the titles i did below, because i am avoiding doing any actual work

nature has taught her creatures to hate: this is the first one I named, and also the one that I’d probably change if I could. Technically I can, this is my city, but I don’t actually want to change it—it’s been nhthcth for too long and it’s set. For this, I knew the “vibe” I wanted, and that was a sort of learned desperation/defensiveness. Like, that was key to nhthcth underlying messages—people aren’t naturally doing the things they’re doing in it, they make choices, and a lot of the choices are coerced under extreme pressure. I just googled around for poems until I found this poem, which is a poem about climate change, and how nature had been taught to hate by mankind’s disregard to it. It had the exact vibes I wanted—of this sort of uncaring capriciousness that made monsters of previously innocent things, and that may turn around and bite it’s creator in the ass. But I’ve abandoned the practice or like, using lines of poetry entirely, I dunno, it feels too long and clunky and pretentious now

gaslight gatekeep girlboss/it’s not a whore HOUSE it’s a whore HOME: these were just memes whose tongue-in-cheek vibe were perfect for the vibe of the fic/series. like, guillermo and nadja are the gaslight gatekeep girlboss of the main cast. the sequel (which will happen i swear to god, i started writing it ages ago and will one day return) will showcase where lazlo, nandor, and colin robinson have been and it’s going to be manipulate mansplain malewife, which like--obviously nandor and lazlo of the main cast. the series title was also a meme that had the right vibes. like, they’re awful little nightmare sluts, all of them, but god bless this whore home. they’re a family and it is a bad one. 

flee from your ghosts (burn your house down): this is actually wirt’s and beatrice’s problem solving strategies. god, i love beatrice and wirt. they’re both such ludicrous people. they’re so bad at life in opposite ways. wirt is a total waffler. he sits and he composes poetry and he makes deep philosophical musings and he’s soooo fucking late to the party every time. he spends too long thinking things over and misses the right moment to action. like, he had to literally almost die before giving an oboe mixtape to his crush. part of his journey is overcoming that, but i like to think he retains that quality to a more healthy degree.  beatrice, meanwhile, rushes in and is extremely effective--and then realizes too late that she fucked up. she chucks a rock at a bluebird and now her whole family is bluebirds. sure, let’s rob this fucking guy, the horse wants to do it too. let’s sacrifice this young boy to a witch, I have no qualms about this plan of action--whoopsie, now i like him and his brother, but i’ve spent this whole time lying to them and sort of leading them to doom. She takes immediate, drastic, and decisive action and it is always solving problems and making more problems. she’s the “burn your house down because there’s a spider” of women. I adore her. Wirt spends the entire fic tip-toeing around confronting his problems head on, because fundamentally, he’s running the entire time--from his memories of the unknown, his loss of beatrice, his concerns about whether he did right by his kids. he has to call his brother to come help him instead of telling the stans that it’s his fucking kids and they need to fess up like, yesterday. Beatrice, meanwhile, would have immediately burnt the fucking town to the ground until she got answers. she created more problems but by god she got the solution to the first one. and that’s immediately what she does upon her entry to the fic. she gets like, one scene and fucking immediately stabs someone. she asked no questions. she had no background information. she didn’t even know that this was a situation that like, called for stabbing. she is so lucky this wasn’t a minor disagreement she misread and killed a man over. i love them both. as people they should not exist.  

these stupid hells we keep: this one didn’t take much thinking. The key underlying vibe I wanted throughout this was that we trap ourselves. So much of stick’s brainwashing is about changing how you think in order to get you to effectively do his work for him and isolate yourself, hurt yourself, get yourself stuck in an extremely damaging mindset. But it’s also about how our traumas can effectively trap us inside ourselves, and how it can be really really difficult to let go of it even when we know they’re hurting us. Like, neither Matt nor Lisa want to let go of stick or his teachings. And, at the same time, a part of them doesn’t want to let go of the people they lost, no matter how hard much pain and suffering goes towards exactly that. They’re in this perpetual hell of self-conflict--not able to let go of stick, but also not able to let go of the people that they lost, who stick wants them to let go of. eventually, frank’s joining this party, and his own torment, guilt, and trauma over his family has effectively trapped him in a hell of his own. I added the word “stupid” to sort of trivialize and add a sort of self-frustrated element to their suffering, because that’s what they do themselves.

ghosts haunting other ghosts: the vibe I wanted was one of Frank and Lisa constantly serving as each other’s hauntings. In the punisher, micro calls both him and Frank “ghosts” from their mutual legal state of deadness. Lisa, in that sense, is a “ghost,” because the DA effectively falsified the reports. but, in another very real sense, frank is the one haunting lisa. The moment of watching her father get shot is the one that repeats throughout the story. he was holding her when he died. he was trying to protect her. he’s the one that she carries with her. and we know, in the same way, Frank’s carrying lisa with him, and is haunted by her in an identical way. he thinks she died in his arms. he thinks that he refused to read her bedtime story on her last day on the planet. lisa’s father telling her that she’s going to be okay is her functional equivalent of frank’s penny and dime rhyme. so you have these two people who are effectively haunting each other with deaths that never happened--ghosts haunting other ghosts

therianthropy (and other goddamn lies): this required more bouncing. this fic's vibe was like, werewolf but the problem is it isn’t a werewolf. snake oil salesman for werewolves. like, stick effectively promised them a transformation. that, at the end of his training, they wouldn’t be the people who were hurt anymore. that got me to the werewolf vibe of like--physical transmogrification into something else. so i went to the wikipedia page for werewolves and found out the process of magical transformation is called therianthropy. that’s a fun word. let’s use that. but the problem is the fic isn’t about the transformation, it’s about the fact that there was no transformation. the promised transformation was a lie, and matt’s still grappling with that. he will always be the person who got hurt. there is no way to undo that. the word “goddamn” added a certain bitterness to it. a part of matt still wishes that stick’s promises were true. 

the first step of kintsugi: so, this entire fic came out of a general dissatisfaction with how MCU peter parker existed, but specifically with how infantilized he became in fandom and how interpersonal relationships were handled. Like. His relationship with happy and Tony really weren’t healthy, particularly at the start. And they could have been healthy if it their problems were actually addressed and like, fixed. I’m also a big believer in catharsis? Like, air out your shit. Break down the bad shit and rebuild it to be better. get a good relationship out of it. So the vibe was “breaking and rebuilding to be better” and there’s a very pretty real-life thing that’s evocative of that--kintsugi pottery, where you fix broken pots with pretty gold lines and it looks cooler and better than the original pot. but, before you can get to the gorgeous gold pottery, you have to complete the first step--which is to break the fucking pot. 

pottery shards: I named the series after i named the first story. I realized that this would follow like, three complete, self-contained arcs--breaking, rebuilding, and an aftermath arc. i called it pottery shards because that’s the consistent part throughout--whether it’s breaking it into shards or gluing it back together, that’d be the unifying feature. 

porcelain chips: so, the character study divergences weren’t really planned. but the ones that we have so far are all part of the “breaking” part--showing how characters ended up the way they did, how they got to the flawed, imperfect, messy bit. porcelain chips was titled because it was meant to be all the little moments that became peter’s origin story. and i didn’t think it was just the one, definitive, climactic loss of ben that made spider-man--i think it was a thousand little things chipping away at him until he became spider-man. porcelain is something that has such lovely, delicate, beautiful vibes--and it’s something that may get chipped with little imperfections over years of use. It ends up with years of little moments sort of embedded into it. And having too many chips is a reason why someone may make the decision to smash it once and for all, and repair it with kintsugi. 

glaze defects: so, a glaze defect is a mistake that happens while it’s in the process of firing pottery. it’s also a reason why someone may make the decision to smash pottery for kintsugi repair. but, unlike chipped porcelain, it’s more of a “inherent” defect. It was a way of distinguishing peter’s struggles from matt’s. peter was a collection of little moments in his life--the cost of the epi-pen, wanting ben to be proud of him, etc--whereas matt’s always been treated like he was inherently defective. Peter is hurt externally, but matt is treated like he’s internally flawed, which is why we spend so much time talking about buck v bell. 

acts of contrition: so, i have no idea how much of catholicism is like, common knowledge, but an act of contrition is the name of a prayer. it’s the last prayer you say in a confessional, before you’re forgiven. that was the entire vibe of this story, because se this is sort of the last act before forgiveness. it’s jack finding matt and matt finding jack again. and a big theme throughout the entire series is going to be forgiveness and the feeling that you don’t have it yet. so we ended up with the title being named after the prayer that comes before forgiveness. 

toy rosaries: so there’s a bunch of different versions of the act of contrition (almost all prayers have multiple versions, I think it’s a translation thing), but the one I grew up with had this part that had some variation of “and I have greatly sinned, in what I have done, and in what i have failed to do.” and that sentiment was another huge vibe of it, because these are two people who are deeply sorry for everything they’ve done and the things they didn’t do also. But, i hated it. I didn’t want to call the title “what i have done and what i have failed to do.” it’s too long and clunky and pretentious sounding. so i just spent a really long time jumping around vibes until i found the title i liked. i wanted to keep the prayer theme, because catholicism barfed all over this story. i toyed around with like, bedtime prayers or something for a while, but it just didn’t fit. i feel like most people know what a rosary is, but that may be the catholic upbringing, so for those who don’t know, a rosary is a prayer counter. you have to say the same prayer ten times in a row, and you have five sets of it, with a few other prayers interspersed. the rosary beads just tell you what prayer you’re on. and i really liked that vibe of repetition, because looking for matt is borderline a repetitious act for jack. it’s the same thing on repeat. read the same files, have the same nightmares, look for him down every street. and it has a certain prayerful fervor to it that i thought felt well. i added the word toy because it had a sort of childhood vibe to it, and the fear  that jack expresses throughout this, the fear of being unforgivable, is very young--and i want to be clear, that’s not synonymous with childish or immature. he’s dealing with complex, adult emotions and guilt, but i feel like this idea that we’re beyond forgiveness is something that we first experience at a very young age. like a little kid hiding because they broke something and they don’t think they can be fixed. the idea that we are forgivable is something that’s taught to us--and sometimes parents, like jack’s parents, don’t teach it to us. so i added the word “toy” to give it that sort of young aspect--and, it’s important to note, that there’s really no such thing as a toy rosary. you have tiny kid rosaries that are made of rubber or something, but prayer beads are just prayer beads. it’s not gonna suddenly be a toy. and a lot of jack’s guilt isn’t real either. he has all of these fantasies of matt rebuking him the moment he has him back, and he repeats them to himself again and again like a prayer, but that’s not real. so it made me really like the vibes, and i ended up with that title. 

[derangedwifenadja]

🚨Long pointless ramble ahead! CW: me trying to apply my actual history degree to the stupid vampire show🚨

(Im on mobile so I can't put it under a cut sorryyyyy)

It's 3am and I can't sleep because I'm trying to work out the actual historical timelines for the Staten Island vampires (I have a history degree and I want to apply my contextual knowledge to my headcannons bc of who I am as a person)

So nandor was apparently born in 1262 - a time of mass upheaval in the Mediterranean rly cus of the crusades etc. Al-Quolnidar is fictional but Iran was vaguely united at the time under various empires though I actually don't think they were technically ottomans - the ottoman empire was founded in the late 12thC but in Anatolia, and spread to mesopotamia a bit later, but whatever

Nadja is approx 200 years younger than nandor (as his pillaging happened about 200 years before she was born) and indeed this was a time where Roma and sinti populations had started to sort of settle in Greece which is still quite a big centre of traveller culture I think! Antipaxos is tiiiiiiny so it's unlikely it was massively affected by much in the way of major events but if it was populated at all in the 15th century it will have likely been by vineyard farmers - grapes can be pretty hardy and the soil isn't great on most Greek islands, so that'd explain the intense poverty cus we're seeing a pretty big Mediterranean economic crisis at this point (actually brought about by ecological stuff! Wild!) although of course extreme poverty was common in the medieval period throughout the Mediterranean, with pockets of wealth at different times. Also - orthodox Christianity at this point I think was relatively widespread, though folk religions tend to thrive better in smaller pockets (like small villages on tiny islands!) because the church wasnt very organised yet and generally didn't have the resources to do much missionary work or education or sending priests to the middle of nowhere to 'teach' (ie indoctrinate/bully) the locals.

I'd also love to know where she went after being turned! Travel from the smaller islands in greece would've probably been hard to come by so I guess she just turned into a bat? Then again from an island as small as antipaxos there probably will have been boats to and from the mainland and/or the island's larger counterpart, Paxos. Antipaxos is in western Greece rather than on the Aegean so she could've gone to Italy but 1500s Italy would've been a terrible place to be a vampire on account of all the Catholicism and garlic so who knows!

And Laszlo?? I have no fucking clue. He seems vaguely Georgian or Victorian and as a Br*tish person I should be able to figure out which but it really could be either. I can totally see him in an opium den so imma say early colonial England - before the industrial revolution? But also because I don't want him to have been involved in slavery maybe we'll put him post 1833 (slavery abolished in the UK). I'll be honest tho this was a post about Nadja - I love Laszlo but he's very Generic Olde Worlde English and that really could be anytime from 1750 to 1910

Tl;Dr: I think I deserve to be the historical consultant for wwdits. Where do I apply

[ednacrabapple]

So I just finished watching the six individual episodes that got Emmy nominations for outstanding writing in a comedy series like I've been threatening to do and here they are ranked from best to worst:

Pride Parade - WWDITS

This might be the best episode of any sitcom I have ever seen in my life. There is so much that happens in this episode. I've seen it a million times and I still don't know how they fit everything in AND made sure everything got enough time. This episode has EVERYTHING. Nandor goes to space. Laszlo terrorizes people at the beach. Colin Robinson and Ghost Nadja both posses Nadja's body. It's insane. This episode absolutely deserves the Emmy (though we all know it won't win). And I still want to know why Nandor wasn't speaking to Matthew (the little bird that flew into his room that he was trying to befriend) anymore lol

Also Natasia Demetriou absolutely should have been nominated for a best actress Emmy for her performance in this episode alone but that's a story for a different time

2. Orlando - Girls5eva

The 30 Rock vibes are immaculate. I had no context for anything that was happening and I still loved every second of it. I was literally laughing the entire time I was watching this episode. Paula Pell especially is outstanding. This one episode made me want more and I need to watch the entire show now. I loved it

3. Brooke Hosts a Night of Undeniable Good - The Other Two

God this episode was so fucking chaotic and insane. I literally don't even have anything specific to say about it. It was just so fun??? Also that fricken song that Cary and the other gays were singing is stuck in my head. Amazing episode no notes

4. Career Day - Abbott Elementary

Now, I absolutely adore Abbott, which I'm sure you can all tell by now, so it really hurts me to put it so low on the list, but honestly Career Day was the weakest episode of the season in my opinion. It was still good - the whole plot with Melissa and Gary was so well done and heartbreaking, and some of the jokes about Ava going to Harvard to use their wifi to earn a degree from Grand Canyon university were hilarious, but overall I think this episode could have been way better. It just felt like something was missing, ya know? I think there are some other episodes from this season, like Smoking or Party, that were better overall and maybe deserved the nomination more. I still love this show, but this episode is kinda meh

5. Bulletproof - Hacks

I know absolutely nothing about this show or the characters, but the episode was still so compelling. This is definitely a show that handles the whole "dramedy" thing well from what I can tell. I definitely enjoyed this episode, but it just wasn't quite as good as some of the other episodes that got nominated. Also, that scene on the plane with the sorta proposal was amazing lol

6. Fishes - The Bear

This show is not a comedy. Full stop. It is a drama. Like, sorry it can't compete against Shogun, but how is that WWDITS' fault? Or Abbott's fault? Or Girls5eva's fault? It should be in the drama category - NOT stealing nominations from actual comedies.

That being said, this episode was just not good. It was so boring. It couldn't hold my attention for more than a few minutes at a time, and it was just so long. It felt like it was never going to end. And I swear it was 90% people yelling at each other and nothing else. But don't worry everyone, I'm sure this is the episode that will win the award, despite being the least deserving by far 🙄

[megaawkwardhuman]

I feel like Nandor would understand Stan Marsh on a spiritual level. They understand each other. They get it. Am insane for thinking this? Don't you think Nandor would also try to rescue the baby cows?

you know I never really thought about it and yeah nandor would 100% vibe with stan

while they're not THE same to some degree they are pretty similar in many ways

[maddiemaynot]

How the Nandor the Relentless depression arc in What We Do in the Shadows is related to feelings of  powerlessness

“Did you ever consider for one moment that I might be happy for the first time in decades? Decades! That I found somewhere that I feel that I belong? That makes me feel useful and powerful in ways I’ve never felt. Never! Not in 700 years. Did you ever consider that?” – Nandor the Relentless, S03 E08

It’s no surprise that Nandor leaves the house to join the wellness centre, he makes his depression really clear to the viewer at that point, but it’s been brewing since the very beginning of the show and started coming into its own arc at the end of season two.

“Guillermo, is there something you haven’t been telling us?” That’s the moment when it all goes wrong for him. In season one and most of season two he has purpose. In season one it’s typical vampire shit – kill people and drink blood etc. In season two, the same applies but it’s also tinged with a hint of ‘also cover up Guillermo’s accidental vampire murders’ – namely Carol and the Baron. But then Guillermo turns out to be an extremely skilled vampire hunter, and Nandor struggles with that.

For a long time, Nandor had considered himself to be the leader, the most powerful person in the house. He saw Nadja and Laszlo as too wrapped up in their relationship to be in charge, and Colin Robinson was never held high in Nandor’s estimation. Guillermo, of course, was his familiar – weak and subservient. We’ve seen a couple of times where Guillermo has had to turn around and slap some sense into his master when Nandor begins spiralling (metaphorically – we’ll get to the physical slap soon), but it seems Nandor never viewed that as any more than an extension of Guillermo’s duties as familiar. In fact, the main instance of this in season one is received with thanks from Nandor, as he admits he needs to hear the outburst, but Guillermo is also chastised for speaking out of turn.

Nandor definitely views himself as the de facto leader of the household and he displays this most obviously in being the one to call frequent house meetings for fairly petty reasons. However, by the end of season two, Guillermo suddenly holds this immense amount of power. At any moment he could kill his vampire roommates, and very fucking easily.

Guillermo is now, in Nandor’s view, easily as powerful as Nandor himself.

Then we reach season three.

In episode one, The Prisoner, he deals with this new power shift as best as he can. He elevates Guillermo to the position of ‘bodyguard’ and the group do their four way hypnosis to make sure they’re safe from Guillermo. Remember, Nandor believes the hypnosis worked. And he’s given a new purpose beyond just killing and eating people – the Vampiric Council.

However, instead of being the leader of the Vampiric Council, as he’d expect himself to be, Nadja challenges him. He must content himself with the role of co-leader, which is a clear knock to his confidence. Think on how many times he corrects Nadja to include him as co-leader. He needs the verbal confirmation that he has that role.

Episode two, The Cloak of Duplication. For a long time, the roles were defined for Nandor: he was the leader, and Nadja was Laszlo’s wife. Now, he and Nadja are both leaders, but she’s still ‘wife’. That give her more meaning in her life than Nandor, or so he perceives – although probably not consciously, he’s definitely still a dumbass. So he takes it upon himself to start this search for love, and that begins this episode with his advances towards Meg at the gym.

There’s a couple of key things in this episode: first, his confidence is low enough that he asks Laszlo to do the actual wooing for him. Secondly, he’s not interested in just a fling with Meg. When he finally goes to ask her out himself, he calls her the ‘love of his life’. But he’s rejected. And she forces him to confront some Guillermo based feelings that he had probably thought he’d resolved.

On the subject of Guillermo in episode two: Guillermo teases Nandor pretty mercilessly this episode with regards to Nandor’s use of the phrase ‘number two’. For the casual viewer, it’s funny. For the shippers, it’s adorable. We enjoy seeing Guillermo grow in his comfort and confidence that he can just tease Nandor like that. But this is revisited in episode eight, which we’ll get to.

Episode three, Gail, now, and the search for love continues. Nandor strikes back up with old flame Gail. They’ve been on and off again for the better part of 40 years and this time around he’s decided to propose. Nadja tells us that he often asks to make her into a vampire so they can be together for eternity, but she never mentioned the word propose. This time around though, he proposes. He doesn’t ask her to become a vampire. He proposes. I don’t think it’s because he specifically wants to marry her, although I believe his affections for her are real. I think he’s because he’s trying to achieve what Nadja and Laszlo have, which is why this time he proposes marriage before he proposes vampirism. And once again, he’s rejected.

This pattern of the last two episodes – latch on to a potential love interest, propose a relationship, get rejected – could have continued for hundreds of years before he ended up in a depression, but then something really big happens to him in episode four, The Casino.

Let’s ignore the dinner scene for a moment – yes, it once again has him confronting feelings about Guillermo, but that’s not the big thing this episode. He even manages to articulate some of those feelings of wanting to find love and companionship, which is growth. But Colin Robinson does something really fucking huge in this episode: he completely shakes Nandor’s world view.

Colin Robinson teaches Nandor about the Big Bang and the infinite cosmic massiveness of the universe and how even with a life of immortality, Nandor’s entire existence is merely a blip on the face of something much greater. It’s another shake to Nandor’s view of himself, and it’s a big one. He’s gone from being the most powerful vampire in his tiny world of the Staten Island house, to the second most powerful after Nadja of a larger world (the Vampiric Council of the Eastern Seaboard), and then he realises he’s not even remotely powerful in an even bigger world: the universe.

That’s massive. He doesn’t come away from Atlantic City happy with the shenanigans like the rest of the gang, he comes away with this entirely new perception of himself and the world around him.

There’s been a theme here so far in terms of characters that are contributing to Nandor’s feeling of powerlessness and purposelessness: Nadja and Guillermo. And boy do they give him some knocks in episode five, The Chamber of Judgement. Not withstanding the fact that almost the entirety of the episode in the Chamber of Judgement, a location from season one where he definitely first had a massive knock to his sense of power, but once again Nadja challenges him again with regards to the throne, and Guillermo once again displays his ‘power’ when it comes to the hellhound. There are plenty of small things in this episode – Guillermo sitting on the throne, Guillermo pitting the two against one another… I won’t list them all.

Next up the Sire escapes in episode 6, The Escape. Nadja is at fault, but blames the entire situation on Nandor and never tells him otherwise. There’s a moment where it looks like she will but instead she comments on his appearance, and he in turn grouses at Guillermo for not telling him. This is another display of his lack of confidence – he needs his friends to confirm his appearance is acceptable. Eventually, the day is saved but it doesn’t matter. Nandor truly believes he was the cause of the problem, and he isn’t the one to fix it. And once again, Guillermo is very ‘in your face’ and more on Nandor’s radar than he ever has been. As Guillermo’s confidence in himself has grown, Nandor’s has shrunk.

At one point, Nandor begins spiralling, similar to how we’ve seen him behave in earlier seasons. This time though, Guillermo slaps him. Physically slaps him. Yes, in the moment, Nandor is very into that and it works, but there’s no way that it didn’t have a lasting effect. His familiar had to slap him to break him out of a mental spiral. Then he tries to regain some power by ‘saving’ Guillermo in stopping from being bait too early, but that doesn’t matter. The day is ultimately saved by Guillermo and the Baron.

Next up: episode 7, The Siren. Nandor isn’t the centre of this episode and I think that’s important. It’s all about Nadja and how hard she’s working and how she’s been neglecting her feelings. Sure, he chases the doll around with her, and you can see some of his old self coming back when he makes Guillermo join him for the chase, and barking orders at Guillermo to clear the mess caused as they go… and he gets to see Nadja in her old role as his shrill, hysterical, funny friend again. But at the end, Nadja has achieved a greater clarity on her feelings and wellbeing, something Nandor still doesn’t have. And worse than that, there’s no one for him to turn to. At the end of the episode, he starts to say something to Nadja: “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job as co-leader” but she cuts him off. He tries to be considerate of her feelings and feel useful again but is dismissed abruptly. Normally, Guillermo would probably listen to him in that moment, but he isn’t there – Laszlo took him to get noise cancelling headphones at Best Buy.

So by the end of episode 7, Nandor is holding on to some statements that he believes to be true:

He’s no longer the leader of his tiny world in the house in Staten Island

He’s only the co-leader of the Vampiric Council

He doesn’t have any sort of great immortal love like his co-leader Nadja

He is an insignificant blip in the magnitude of the universe

Guillermo wasn’t there for him

Guillermo is now way more confident and powerful than Nandor ever anticipated

Any attempts he’s made to reach out have been shut down or rejected

So then we get to episode 8, The Wellness Centre.

His Accession Day rolls around, and his friends, of course, make the effort to make the day special, but it’s too late. Nandor has officially fallen into his depression. He is still trying to fight it though. He doesn’t decide this episode to go into the super slumber. He feels like nobody understands what he is going through (except they do, but it’s mental health isn’t it, so it doesn’t feel like it and this group aren’t the best for talking and sharing their feelings. The previous episode really highlights that).

So, Accession Day is here, but what’s the point? There isn’t one. In fact, it reminds him of a time when he truly felt powerful, when he became the leader of his country. When he was human. And then he meets Jan and he sees a new purpose for himself, one that could solve all his problems – become human again. Suddenly, he can only associate himself with two states: now and then. Now, depressed, lonely, vampire. Then, human, leader, powerful.

“Vampirism is a curse and I care for you too much to burden you with that.”

It could be argued he’s even a little jealous of Guillermo in this moment. Guillermo is powerful, he has purpose, and he is lucky enough to still be human. Nandor wants all those things.

Jan offers Nandor what he wants – she offers him happiness through becoming a human again. And yeah, it’s false, and yeah, he can probably see that, but pretending helps him, and so eventually the brainwashing sticks. But it’s only a sticking plaster on a much deeper problem. Guillermo realises this, and I think that’s in part due to the note that’s left behind.

There’s also a nod back to episode two, with Guillermo’s teasing. Nandor says that Jan has made him his number two and that if he says that if he was still at home, he would have been teased for using that phrasing, but here they respect him. It’s another thing that’s added to his depression – he’s even been hurt by the ever-faithful Guillermo. It probably stings even more because this season he’s been trying even harder to be considerate of Guillermo’s feelings, especially after Guillermo left him twice in season two.

So, naturally, when Guillermo brings Nandor home, Nandor is furious. “Did you ever consider for one moment that I might be happy?”

And even when he finally snaps out of the brainwashing, of course he’s not better, because the root problem isn’t solved. The depression, the warped perception of himself and his need for purpose isn’t resolved. He’s just back where he was before the wellness centre and the brainwashing. So finally, in episode 9, A Farewell, he goes for his last-ditch attempt to be happy again: the super slumber. He hopes he’ll wake up feeling better. It’s his last resort.

In summary: if this dumbass doesn’t talk about his feelings openly, and his dumbass friends don’t respond in kind to him, I truly worry that he’s about three fucking moments away from walking out into the sunshine and I’m really fucking concerned.

There’s hope though. I think there’s three things that could pull him out of his depression:

Embracing his duties as co-leader of the Vampiric Council and understanding and accepting that sharing power doesn’t mean a lack of power.

Embracing his feelings for Guillermo, realising that he does have that person who will look out for him no matter what – he has that eternal love that Nadja and Laszlo have (or at least, he could)

Accepting that life is short, even for vampires. They’re immortal in age, but that doesn’t mean their lives can’t end. Colin Robinson’s death shows that, and that should help him realise he needs to live his life to the fullest.

From the promo for episode 10, The Portrait, I’m hoping that he’s about to embrace that third thing, with his Eat, Pray, Love journey that he seems to be setting out on. Hopefully, he can also get a handle on the other two things as well, so that he can finally start getting better.